KFC Radio - Rob McElhenney: The White Whale

Episode Date: February 6, 2020

Guys I have news! I have incredible news! Rob McElhenney joins the show today! We discuss creating the characters for It's Always Sunny, Charlie Day's appearance in Super Bowl commercials, the creation of his new show Mythic Quest: Raven's Banquet, and pushing comedy in It's Always Sunny in the height of cancel culture. Also, Feits' may have solved World Peace but first Rob.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. It's another edition of KFC Radio. It's brought to you by Get Roman. Now, first step is to get a girl into bed. You look at my fucking beast of a co-host here as he shovels a fucking slice down his gullet. I can't believe anybody's ever had sex with him. Me neither. But, in the event, John, that you ever overcome the odds and Len, someone wants to have sex with you again, I just God bless your

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Hashtag like a boss. Go to barcelagold.com slash KFC to watch Feidelberg eat pizza like a boss. I just had a very, honestly, like a seminal moment, like a benchmark moment in my career when I got Boomer Esiason to tell me to kill myself on WFAN's airwaves, and it was because I was showing Boomer the proof. I had the tweets to prove it, that Feidelberg is the one who broke the news that the NHL lockout is over, not Boomer. You beat him by an hour.

I thought you beat him by like a day. It was close. Yeah. But you did beat him by an hour. Inexplicably, hashtagged like a boss. NHL lockout over, like a boss. What the fuck does that mean? I don't know.

Are you the boss? Is the NHL the boss? Is the lockout the boss the fuck does that mean? I don't know. Are you the boss? Is the NHL the boss? Is the lockout the boss? What's going on? I was just drunk. I was just like, I don't know. I think 2012, right? I think it was 13.

2013. I don't like a boss, but I've just been on the streets. And I was actually saying that. That's probably what was happening. Yeah, you're just like, yeah, like a boss. But when that went, I didn't go reviving like that, but when that was brought up again today, I was like, I want people to remember that I broke the lockout ending. I do not want them to remember that I hashtagged like a boss afterwards.

I would love for everyone to forget that part. But remember the part that I genuinely, truly was the first person to break the NHL lockout. I, unfortunately, was the first person to break the news that the Mets are just staying put. Oh, yeah. Oh, right. Yeah.

Yeah, that's why it all came up, John. But that one's sick. We weren't just talking. I forgot what this is about. We weren't just talking about the NHL lockout. So anyway, dad died. How's dinner, kids? I was with school today.

I mean, so many people said to me, like, stop talking shit. Like, you know this isn't going to happen. And I was like, what do you mean? It happened. Like, it's done. Like, they reported it. And, like, they didn't. And it wasn't.

And it's not. It's over. I mean, I. It's not. Technically, it's not over. But, like, now I'm back down to earth and remembering that we're Mets fans. So it's over. Yeah, it's like one of those things.

I honestly, maybe it's because I'm better at being you than you are because it was – That's a great one. I was watching you do it, and I was going, no, Kevin. Don't do it. Yeah, I know. Don't do this yet. This isn't good for you. It's too soon.

So I never got up or down. I would just stay flatlined. Yeah, you're better at being me than you are. Yeah, I just see the way you react to things, and I'm like, we shouldn't be doing that. That, honestly, that phrase right there, you saying the way I react to things, that's our job. So basically, you watch me do this job, and you're like, you shouldn't be doing that. No, but I'm talking on an emotional level. I know.

On a true emotional level. I'm just like like he's actually happy this is this isn't gonna end well did you see he planned an opening day gala for like like he was ready to like ball out like a boss like he was he was you know he was fucking into it that's what gives me hope is like if he truly meant like he said it was his dream to own a team and when you hear that he was planning galas for opening day and shit like it probably was if i'm a billionaire and i'm about to buy like my team like nothing's getting in the way we'll figure it out i'll give you another billion like literally like right i mean i don't know i that gives me hope and the will ponds like being broke gives

me hope but but i also just learned my lesson about having hope so i'm not gonna do it i'm just that's good expecting the worst and i really don't know what I'm going to do. I don't know if I can just go back to that life. I said I was hashtag. I mean, you've thrown that hashtag down a lot. No, no, no, no, no. But I said I was going to be hashtag done. I did not say I was hashtag done yet. You said on the Instagram.

I said if this deal doesn't go through, I'll be hashtag done. We'll revisit that. Even when I heard that, that i went don't say that either that to me is okay how about this though i in my heart i want to be hashtag done i just so you can't force hashtag done like if you know if i'm gonna like the game is just gonna be i think i can force hashtag done upon anything real over sports like you couldn't just be hashtag done with the bruins i mean if they deserved it if they deserved it. Yeah. If they deserved it. They've deserved it for a long time. Who?

The Mets. Yeah, that's what I mean. But that's what I'm saying is I could have and should have already been hashtag done. None of my teams are. But if I felt the team truly deserved to be hashtag done, I don't think I have. Because I think I'm past the – and maybe it's part of winning championships. I think I'm over the childhood fascination of it. Yeah.

Right? And now it's – Now you're an adult about it. and it's well that's you know on that show geo was like if you went to a mechanic who always fucked up your car or a doctor who fucked up you would stop going so we should just stop doing it but we can't because it's sports and it's stupid and it's an emotional it's an it's an emotional weakness it's like a it's a it's like a weak point in my my character as a man you popped the cherry well i guaranteed one in the next 10 years but i that one i did say if steve cohen

takes over so uh my life is back to being miserable so which makes me think like guess what else is not gonna happen i'm never gonna see that money like something's gonna go wrong you know these five-year guarantees like or waiting periods, fucking. But temporary amount of happiness right now through the fucking roof because we got Rob McElhinney on the show. And he, I always do this. I get, you know, recency bias, but, like, he really is one of the best we've ever had, if not the best. He came in.

He did one thing right away where I was like, awesome guy, because he introduced himself to everybody. Everybody. I love that. Devlin, Aria, Rudy. There were probably 15 cameramen in here. Yeah. We talked about it.

I noticed when people do it to these two guys. These two guys deserve it. And then if you don't say to the social media guy, the camera guy, whatever. But he did everybody in the room. And even just the way he came in, he dapped it up. And he did the classic, he went to our Twitter page, watched one video. Although I did say that. Jillian said to me, she was like, no, he said on the way he came in he dapped it up and he did the classic like he went to our twitter page watched like one video although i did say that jillian said to me she was like no he he said on the way up that he had listened to you guys whether or not it's true he knew about us he made it seem like he made us feel real special i'm feeling like the prettiest girl in school

exactly with a bell of the ball he was fucking awesome so we're gonna get right into it i'm sure there's some sunny fans uh and rob fans who are new to the show, and I'm sure all our fans. Somebody tweeted me, and I think this is the best endorsement you can have, said that you and I are never more just ourselves than when we're talking about Sonny. So you're going to get the most genuine interview you're ever going to get with us two being our complete selves and Rob just being the charming motherfucker that he he is charming i love when he dropped motherfucker by the way he's just there's just something about the way he talks like okay this is a normal guy so let's get right into it

uh rob mcclenney on ksu radio you know him as mac from always sunny is brought to you by 1-800-Flowers now he is we didn't unfortunately didn't even get to talk about he and caitlin and their secret relationship and how they're going to be like the next it couple. He'll be back eventually, and we'll get into all of it. But right now, the gold standard for being a husband or a boyfriend or a spouse is Rob. He is just – they're the best couple out there. Yeah. He even says it in the interview. He goes out of his way to be the most beautiful and the funniest.

It was like Extra. And it's just like – not Extra as in like going over the top of the league. Just extra like he wants to give extra. He wants you to make it known. I was like, this is fucking beautiful. He loves her. He just wants the world to know it. And so I'm sure he goes all the way out of his way and goes all the way up for Valentine's Day.

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What's up, man? Well, first of all, we'll save it for the – unless we're already going. Are we recording? We're going. Let it rock. Rob McElhenney, what's up? I'm horrifically overdressed for this particular studio but you look good you just do it just do a shirtless man yeah here's the issue i have so much so much other uh important

people no i think it's actually the opposite but i don't want to say that but yeah you got to get dressed up for that shit and i was like man i'm gonna i'm gonna walk in there look like an asshole but no no you don't far from it my man far from it uh miller light i know you guys are oh look at this guy you guys can somebody go get some beers that's a new sponsorship you want a beer it is a brand new sponsorship can you have one i'll get it my publicists are listening so you know maybe you know let's have one on let's have one on the ready yeah all right all right we're sponsored our sunny sponsored by Coors Light. Yes.

We're in the family. In the family. And I kind of had the same experience. I heard you guys talking about it, that you also drink Miller Lite. It was one of the first beers that you ever had. I'm happy to admit that I also drink Coors Light, but only because I can drink 50 or 60 of them. So I know I'm not going to get myself in trouble. You stay hydrated hydrated Always, always

How about when you were cutting weight and getting in shape though You're not drinking your beers then That's got to be the worst You can drink tequila Like zero grams of anything Which I love, I love tequila But I'd have to cut it back to only one night a week But also tequila is the only alcohol that's an upper

so that's why it gets you a little dangerous. Well, you get aggressive. You tend to get aggressive and I have a natural aggressive streak. I think it's related to the Napoleonic complex and so when you add a little tequila then it starts to get... It can make for an exciting night.

And at 42, man, there's nothing cooler than a 42-year-old aggressive white dude. Look going, strolling the bar, looking for fights. You mentioned coming in here looking great, obviously. I have a question for you. Do you think you have an X Factor yet? Because you on the Marc Maron podcast said you didn't think you had an X Factor. That's a preposterous statement. Because I think there's no one in Hollywood right now more X Factor.

Wow. I'm coming here more often. We mean it, brother. I feel like I don't have a certain cachet that I see other people can just walk into. Look, Danny falls in this category, right? It's not just about being Brad Pitt, right? You can be Danny and have it as well, where literally Danny can walk into a room,

and it's been like this probably since 1956, and you just look at him, and you laugh at everything he says, and you listen to everything he says, and I don't know what it is. It's just the perfect confluence of his voice, his posture, the way he looks, the way he sounds, what he's saying and I don't know.

It seems like he's got that thing. I know exactly what you mean but I think you have it, brother. I mean the way you walked in here. You took over the room like that. There were tons of people just waiting for you to come in and everyone was like it's Rob Mack. First of all, I appreciate that. Thank you. I think it's maybe because you've seen I believe

you guys have seen a lot of episodes of the show I've been on TV for the last 15 years so that might have something to do with it. Hell yeah it does man which is crazy I mean you guys we were just talking about it before like there was a time where I would be like Sony's my favorite show but like The Office, Seinfeld, the rest of Development

all these other things and then you guys just like kept doing it to the point that I'm like, yeah, it's just the greatest. It's the undisputed funniest show ever to me, not only because of longevity, but because of how funny it is, but the fact that you're just still doing it. We're winning the war of attrition against the American public. We're basically just beating people into submission. And I don't want to call myself Tom Brady because I'm not, but I believe maybe we're the Patriots of basic cable. That's a great comment coming from an Eagles fan, too. That means all the more.

Well, look, of course I don't like the Patriots, but if you deny that that's not the greatest organization in the history of sports, you're just lying. Yeah, I mean, I hate them with every fiber of my being, but facts are facts. You know, it is much like you can't, after a certain amount of time, you can't deny it anymore, which is why I think it is the perfect comparison. You guys really are. Okay.

That's the headline. It's always sunny in Philadelphia is the New England Patriots. Are the New England Patriots? Is the New England Patriots. So, and much like, you know, Tom Brady will probably be playing for the Tennessee Titans next year. You're on to a new project. He'll be back in New England.

He's coming back. It's all wishful thinking of people who just want the reign of terror to end. You're going to a new project He'll be back in a little bit It's all wishful thinking of people Who just want the reign of terror to end They're gonna be good again They'll be back Cause that defense is so young And it's depressing You got yours though man

We did and we got it In the best way possible And I'd say save for That one Giants run where they – didn't they squeak in that year? Were they wild card? The Giants? The Giants. Both years, I believe.

Okay, both years. That's incredible. And then to go and beat the Patriots when they had a chance to make history. Yeah, 18-1 is probably – That's probably the best Super Bowl win. But the way – the fact that it was a Philly title and a huge drought and a forever, you know what I mean? Like, that has its own cachet. I actually have to thank you guys, because seeing

you guys have so much fun made it easier for me. You're such an asshole. I was so happy seeing you guys all on the plane, because you guys had put up an Instagram post, and I think you had some live videos, obviously the episode. Yes. And I was like, you know what? My guys had fun, so it's okay. I had a visceral emotional reaction to it, and again, I was 40. And I was like, you know what? My guys had fun, so it's okay.

I had a visceral emotional reaction to it. And again, I was 40 years old at the time. But I grew up in South Philadelphia, very close to the stadium. And so it's just the Eagles, really all the Philadelphia sports teams are infused into my DNA. But, you know, that experience. Hence the aggression.

Sorry to interrupt. Hence the anger, the chip on the shoulder. Yeah, small Irish white boys. There's a lot of us there in Philly that are ready to throw down. Hence the aggression. Sorry to interrupt. Hence the anger, the chip on the shoulder. Yeah, small Irish white boys. There's a lot of us there in Philly that are ready to throw down. You said small. You're not a small dude, bro. Well, it depends on who you're hanging out with. I guess.

It's all relative. Well, that's why we cast Charlie and Danny. It's funny how often actually people will come up to Caitlin in real life and be like, oh, you're not that tall. You look huge on TV. She's like, I'm standing next to Caitlin in real life and be like, oh, you're not that tall. You look huge on TV. She's like, I'm standing next to fucking Danny and Charlie and even Rob. We're basically the same height, like 5'9 or whatever. So she's in heels.

She looks tall. Obviously, she looks taller. But no, I mean, that Super Bowl experience was really something else. A couple of our guys were actually in the footage that you guys put in to the show. Oh, really? We always send two guys to like, you know, they're actually 7-1 or 8-7-0. So when it comes time to do a championship, they got to pick which team they think is going to win to film in the streets. And they're always undefeated.

So they picked Philly and they were there in the mix. They came to this time today. They've never lost. It's crazy. They were running around the place saying, I've been in an episode. That particular episode, I very re-watched the show but now my kid who's who's nine years old he's now start i'm starting to let him watch some of the episodes and uh and i picked some of the episodes some of the episodes not all and and you know most of it

goes over his head but that particular episode i swear is the only the only episode we've ever done that i get really emotional at the end of it. And it's not because of anything we do in the episode. It's because of those YouTube videos and that Rocky song. And we actually had Merle Reese, who's the voice of the Eagles, commentate throughout the episode. Well done. Very well done. I saw a quote from you talking about Sonny and how having Mac come out of the closet was – you made it sound like retroactively it fit the puzzle.

Like it feels to me like that was the plan all along. Was that not the plan? No. Are you bullshitting me? No. Because it retroactively worked perfectly. Yeah, I know. That would be – that would assume that we had the thought and intellect to engineer something that we assumed was going to go like a good 14 years. Honestly, it's crazy the lesson that I've taught.

I know. That's always what I thought. Especially – Well, you know what? I'm not – then let's keep the – let's keep that going. Keep it alive, yeah. It works with Dennis too where it's kind of very clear now he's a sociopath. But then you go back and you watch the earlier episodes and I always thought your answer would be they weren't breadcrumbs

we were being very clear he was dressed up as a painter chasing people through the streets trying to kill them it wasn't a breadcrumb that he's a sociopath he's a sociopath certainly with Dennis early on we realized because Glenn is a Juilliard trainedtrained actor. I know he was in here at one point, and I don't know if that came up, but

he is like a classically-trained actor, and he has been debasing himself in basic cable comedy for the past 14 years. And again, what I did from the very beginning was like, I'm going to find the funniest Shut the fuck up! Yeah, really, Devlin! Come on! I got his back here

coughing in here damn it lost my train of thought no I very early on I I found people that were way more talented than me

and funnier than me Charlie is the funniest guy on the planet and Danny of course is a legend and my wife who's not only

the most beautiful woman on TV she's also one of the funniest if not the funniest and then and Glenn who's a classically trained actor. And that's what was so funny about him playing Dennis, was that he could make anything work

because he was such a good actor. And so we were like, man, how far can we take this with him? To the point where he was, I mean, obviously a psychopath. And possibly, sure. And possibly murdering people. We don't know if that is unbelievable. Wait a minute.

Did you see it? I heard you guys talking about it. It was unbelievable. I thought it was a bit. Do you want Rob to open your beer? Daddy will open the beer for you. I thought he was joking. How are you doing it Yeah

I just Yeah I'm like Are you doing it wrong I feel like he's I feel like he's grabbing the glass Or something It like cuts my hand I can't do it

I don't There you go Wow Congratulations man Well now I'm gonna drink rum For those of you Who are just listening

Cheers man Thank you so much For coming in For those of you Who are just listening I just watched a man Who probably weighs 210, 220? Yeah, 220.

220. 225. Not be able to open up a twist-off bottle of beer. It doesn't make sense. I have baby hands. I don't know. I'm sorry. I'm so happy. You do not have baby hands. They're like fat, like baby. They're soft like a baby. They're like Irish potato farmers, but I never had to farm

potatoes, so they're just really soft. Ah, I got it. You would have been great in the 1800s, dude. Born way ahead of time. So you mentioned all these wonderfully talented people you're with. Caitlin had the mic, and AP Bio, and Charlie, he did more work at the Super Bowl than most actors do in a year, right? So I was with him the week before. We spent a lot of time together, obviously.

And he was like, I'm going to do a Super Bowl commercial. I'm like, what? He's like, they asked me to do a Super Bowl commercial. I'm like, sure they did. Of course they did. And I'm like, how many days of work? One, two. I was like, I was a Super Bowl commercial, so I'm expecting something. And I turn on

the game, and I'm watching. I'm like, he's in like four different times. Every break. Every break, they're cutting to Charlie. And then I tweeted something sometime midway through the fourth quarter, something about Charlie having a bigger role in the game than the Chiefs offense. And I swear, as soon as I hit send, I mean, it was like I hit send and was like, all right

yeah that was a good tweet like and then i'm watching this happen i'm like this is not aging well this is not aging well and of course if you've been following chiefs all season certainly patrick mccomb's almost entire career you're like well he's gonna he's gonna figure something out but i want to come to your defense here this is this is an issue near and dear to my heart you didn't get old takes exposed. That's a big thing. People like to retweet takes that end up being wrong. In that moment,

you were correct. That was a right tweet. He gets hit a lot with that aged well, and he's like, it aged fine. In the moment, it was good. It was correct. It didn't age. It lived in that time, and in that time, it was the correct tweet. It wasn't a prediction. You didn't say at the end of the game, Charlie will have bet in this more than the Chiefs offense. You said, Charlie has

bet in this more than the Chiefs offense. Rob, you were right. It's a sensitive subject. I was able to retroactively ameliorate it, not by going and deleting the tweet, because I was right in the moment, but just changing the wording a little bit and saying that my boy Charlie's got a bigger role in this game than

the 49ers defense. There you go. There you have it. So there you go. But man, I was just so happy for Andy. I really was. He brought a lot, Andy Reid, obviously, he brought a lot of joy to the city of Philadelphia. Anybody who was not, let me ask you this, because I feel like if Eagles fans, if you guys didn't get your ring, what would you have felt?

Would you have been happy? Would you have been salty? Would you have been jealous? It's hard to say. Sure, you'd be upset, but it's just hard to have been jealous i mean it's hard it's hard to say sure you'd be you'd be upset but it's just hard to root against somebody who it's like i whenever i hear people talk about donovan mcnabb too i'm like look donovan mcnabb brought a lot of joy to the city of philadelphia more than other quarterbacks who other players uh who are beloved you know randall cunningham is like beloved one of my favorite players because that's when i was

10 years old that's who I was watching. But Randall didn't get us to the Super Bowl. Randall didn't get us to four NFC championships. So yes, he didn't go all the way, but man, he got real close. So I think that's how I always felt about Andy. So to go back to what I was

saying, this is, I feel like, your first big project when everybody else has kind of done their own thing you feel like it's uh you know your time to break out of the sunny bubble a little bit with myth mythic quest ravens banquet you asshole this is good this is good i'm gonna call like mqrb or some shit i don't know but i really when we were talking about the title we were like okay so so we have this other show, which has the most ridiculous and horrible title in the history of television, which has now

become an asset for some reason. So how can we do that again? So we came up with another one that's absolutely ridiculous. We were doing it like Ow Now Brown Cow before, like Mythic Quest, Ravens, Bank, Mythic Quest. We're hoping that people and next season's going to be called something else, so

it's going to be even more confusing. Oh, really? Yeah, so the show's about a video game company called Mythic Quest. We're hoping that people, and next season's going to be called something else, so it's going to be even more confusing. Oh, really? Yeah, so the show's about a video game company called Mythic Quest. It's actually the name of the show, but each year is going to be about a new update or expansion. Oh, cool.

So this year is about, if you don't know anything about video games and expansion, it's basically just the mode of play for that particular year. So it would be Raven's Banquet, which is so fucking stupid. For the first season, next season, it'll be Mythic Quest something else,

third season. So are we signed on for, you know? Yeah, we're in the middle of the second season. Awesome. And once we get to season 14, 15, I don't know what it's going to be like. Is this something you had planned for a while, or is this like Apple came to you,

like, we want you to make a show? No, actually, we were approached by Ubisoft, which is which is a gaming company and they said we want to do something in the video game industry and i was like nah i just don't i didn't care that much and are you a gamer i play games but i wouldn't consider myself a gamer um but they invited me up to their studio in montreal and i i visited with them and and got to meet a lot of the characters that worked up there and I told this story a few times. It was really funny. So I walk in, again, having no interest in

making a show about the gaming industry and I see this guy. He's dressed head-to-toe in black, right? And he's got these rings and his long beard and he's got a cane, but he's got to be 35 years old and he's not limping or anything and the cane is just like an accoutrement, right? And he's just like walking and I's got to be 35 years old and he's not limping or anything and the cane is just like an accoutrement right and he's just like walking and i'm like oh hey man

he's like oh and i'm like so what do you uh what do you do he goes i'm a creative director and i was like what's a creative director and he sort of like looked out into the heavens you know the fucking fluorescent lights and he goes brother i, I build worlds. I was like, hey, can you excuse me for one second? I went outside. I was like, Charlie, we're doing a show about these motherfuckers, so get on it. And then I spent the rest of the day hanging out with them and meeting all these. It was actually a really cool eye-opening experience. I don't know if you guys play games, but it's obviously a global phenomenon.

And what you realize is the stereotype has always been, oh, it's the 14-year-old boy in his mom's basement or whatever. Completely untrue. That industry dwarfs the entertainment industry. Grand Theft Auto. When I tell people this, they can't believe it, and it is fucking true. And I don't know if you know this. Grand Theft Auto, as a gaming series, has made more money than the entire Star Wars franchise, including merchandise.

Whoa! Grand Theft Auto has made more money as a franchise than Pixar, the movie studio, sold to Disney. Holy shit. And their entire library, past and present. So you realize, and everybody knows who Steven Spielberg is. Everybody knows who George Lucas is, right?

Couldn't tell you that. Could you tell me the people that, right. And so that dude's fucking pissed. He's like, wait a second, I've made like-

Rockstar Games, right? Yeah. But I don't know the name. Exactly. So you know the studio, but you don't know the people behind them, right? And you have these

incredibly gifted engineers that make these games and they're looking around they're going well i got people playing this game all over the world and it's made 10 10 billion dollars or whatever and nobody knows my name and like when you have that kind of uh that kind of situation and the egos that it takes and you jam them all together and everybody's got their own gig within the studio it just makes for a really fun fun environment but you said that it's they all hate each other right well i don't i don't know how to do a show uh where the characters like no look the best the best shows of all time are always shows with people stuck together right even family sitcoms if everybody's just getting along and

it's all fun and sweet what the the fuck show is that? Right? We can relate, brother. The easiest place. Kevin actually had a great question earlier, and I'm going to let you ask it because it was your question. Well, and I feel like it'll apply to Ian Grimm. Ian Grimm. Which is so obnoxious. Of course.

If you're Ian and you pronounce it as Ian, what ass hole? That's kind of where I got with Ian. I love it. I feel like every time any of you guys talk about your characters on Sunny, it comes with, of course, this disclaimer of like, oh, they're awful. They're disgusting. They're arrogant. They're selfish. They're rude.

But you kind of like Mac, right? Well, yeah. I mean, that's the thing. It's that – the way that we got to where we got to, and I really think this is true about any certainly television actor and their relationship with their character because you're doing it all the time and you're spending a lot of time with that character. And then the writers are seeing what you do well and then writing to that. There are aspects of your own personality, right, that are on display because that's what you know how to do. And then you're just taking the most extreme versions of that and then putting it on putting it on screen right so so i'm real it's like yes i would never behave the way that mac does but

it's almost like i have this opportunity to exercise all of like my darkest get it out right and so that it gives me the opportunity to then do that between action and cut, and then I can say whatever I want, right? And then after that, I'm like, wow, you know, I feel much better. It's like exercising or something. It is kind of what we do. We get on the podcast and just say whatever the fuck we want.

Like, I see the show, and I see the gang, and I hear that they're awful, but I see them, and I'm like, I'd love to hang out with those people. And I think it says bad things about me as a person, because I know we'd get along and have fun. I didn't know if you – if Rob McElhenney and I would. I think we have. But I knew me and Mac would.

I knew we would have. I think that does speak to us more than them. Well, look, I do hear that a lot and I think that the joke is always like, oh, well, then you're a psychopath as well. But I don't think that's true i think that the reason that people have been able to watch it for 14 years is because no matter how terrible the characters are they're homophobic and misogynistic and racist and all these like awful things it's so clear that we're not right and like you hear all this bullshit all the time about people are like oh it's all one big happy family and they're lying this show we are family because we are all related. We're getting married to one another. And because we've been together for 15, 16 years, and I knew those guys for another three years before that, we're all best friends. And so it's so obvious, I hope it's obvious, that as you're watching, your lizard brain or your subconscious is picking up on the fact that the filmmakers themselves are not misogynist, racist, homophobic. And we're having a blast doing it.

It's okay to just laugh at it. And I think that that's what people are responding to. And that's why one of the things we get asked a lot, which is interesting, is about PC culture and woke culture and how people think, oh, you can't joke about certain things anymore. You can't do any things anymore. And I think that's bullshit. I mean, clearly, we're still doing it, right? And we take no heat. And in fact, we double down almost in a lot of ways.

I mean, we did an episode a couple years ago now when it was really like woke culture was really hitting and everyone was like nervous that you couldn't do the things that we were doing. And we were like, well, how do we double down? What if we do an episode that's a musical where we all turn into black people, right? For the episode. And how is that going to play?

Yes. But that was part of it, right? Like that was part of it. And I think that the reason that we quote unquote get away with it is because the audience knows what we're doing. They know where our heart is. They know what the intention is. Right. what we're doing. They know where our heart is. They know what the intention is. And they know that at the end of the day, for as

horrific as the behavior of the characters are, that what we're saying as a show is literally the complete opposite. And anybody who believes that they can't say or do what they used to be able to do are just fucking hacks. And they don't realize that, yeah, you can't tell racist jokes anymore, but

you shouldn't have been telling racist jokes in the first place, right? But there's a way to tell a joke that lives in the world of racism because we have to. That's how we get by as human beings. And that's how we deal with difficult aspects of the human condition in our culture is by joking about it. That is incredibly well said. I've been trying to say that and failing at it for so long and I just come off like an idiot every time.

That's it. Be creative. Be funnier. Cheers to that, man. We could go on forever and ever. We're getting the wrap up. What? We just got here. Ah, fuck. You want to come back? Before we let you go, we know you're a big muscles guy.

Who do you think are the best bodies in Hollywood, and where do you put yourself because it's top three? I can't be top three. No, you are. You can't be top three. Dude, you're weird. You've got the veins and the muscles. There was a picture of you guys on the Gay Pride parade.

That was nuts. I thought that was photoshopped. That was peak. That was peak. And I believed I had not begun to peak, but I had peaked at that point. I would say, look, I'll tell this quick story. When I went to the trainer, so the guy that worked me out, his name is Aaron Babayan. He does like all the dudes in Hollywood, right?

And he did Magic Mike. So I'm like, okay, I go to Aaron. I go, all right, I have an ideal body that I want to go for. He goes, shut up. I go, why? He goes, I know what it is. I said, you already know what it is? all right, I have an ideal body that I want to go for. He goes, shut up. I go, why? He goes, I know what it is. I said, you already know what it is? I said, I have an ideal body that I want to go for.

He goes, I already know the answer to what you're going to say. I said, why? He goes, every dude in Hollywood who wants to get ripped has the same prototype. I go, what is it? He goes, Brad Pitt Fight Club. I go, holy shit, it's Brad Pitt Fight Club. He goes, here's the problem. I need to manage your expectations. I can get your body to look like pitt fight club he goes here's the problem i need to manage

your expectations i can get your body to look like brad pitt and fight club here's the issue you're not gonna look like brad pitt no matter what so i was like all right well i guess i'll go for that so that was what i was going for but the thing is that yes his but it's brad pitt is brad pitt no matter what he could be 300 pounds. He's still going to look like Brad Pitt. I would say currently, best body. Look, I like mass. Yeah, you do. I like mass. Yeah, you do.

But I'm looking at Dwayne Johnson. I'm like, that's too much. For me, that's too much. That's too much bulk. That's too much bulk. You actually look at Brad Pitt in Fight Club. He weighs 140 pounds. He's lean, yeah.

He's featherweight. He's really skinny. And that's the, yeah. He's really, really skinny. And that's the frustrating thing. That's when you're like, it doesn't matter what I really do, because if I don't get a face like that, I'm fucked. I would say, well, the big joke in The Avengers is, because the one thing I didn't have, and it's just because I'm like a skinny white boy, is an ass, right? Except when I was fat, I had an ass. And that's when Caitlin preferred me. But that joke in Marvel all the time is that Evans has Captain America and he's,

that's America's ass. Yeah. Yeah. Pretty spot on. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Pretty good ass. Great answer. Great answer. Thank you so much. We really appreciate it. Yes. I mean, we could go on forever. That was really fun. All right. Big thank you to Rob. I said afterwards that there was, like, no chance he was not going to be a cool guy. I just know enough about him and seen enough about him in real life that I knew he was going to be cool. But I said if he wasn't cool somehow, it would have been devastating. But there was nothing to worry about. He lived up to everything and then some.

And Devlin said to me, you know, they say never to meet never to meet your heroes but like here's an example of it working out never meet your heroes people who say never meet your heroes you have the wrong heroes that shouldn't be your hero if there's a chance they actually are an asshole in real life they should have never been your hero in the first place yeah i i like stone cold lock i knew that my hero rob Rob McElhinney was going to be a cool guy. That's why he's my hero. Never in doubt. Right. Never a doubt,

man. That interview was brought to you by stitch fix. We were just talking to Rudy about his style. Rudy's always buying like streetwear clothes and grabbing pieces here and there, but his apartment's filling up and he was talking about taking his seasonal clothes and selling them and then rebuying a whole new season. Like a fucking idiot.

What he was describing was a shitty version of Stitch Fix. Yeah, like a non-technical version. He wanted to sell whole seasons worth in bulk. All of his clothes. Sell all your winter clothes during the spring. Who are you going to sell all of your winter clothes to, Rudy? And then buy all your winter clothes when the next winter runs around. Who out there is like, I want Rudolph's entire

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them keep one send four back you get the idea idea. But the first box, when you keep everything, you get 25% off when you go to stitchfix.com slash KFC. I needed a cigarette after that interview. It was amazing. It really was. And you know what? He's self-deprecating to a fault. Like, he's calling himself short. He said he doesn't have the X factor.

He compliments everyone else. And I feel that's because deep down he knows. Yeah. We do the self-deprecation thing all the time. I'm not self-deprecating about the things I really think I'm bad at. I just keep my mouth shut on those. I hope no one else notices. Right.

I know that game. I'll bring up like, oh, I'm fat. I know that I'm not that fat. Oh, I stink at sex. I'm pretty good. I'll bring up like, oh, I'm fat. I know that I'm not that fat. I stink at sex. I'm pretty good. I'm all right at sex. So when he's like, oh, yeah, everyone else is a good actor and everyone else has a good factor. Everyone's listening right now going, yeah, that's why you don't bring up X.

Right, right, right. But I mean, yeah, it could not have been better. And I feel like we got Caitlyn in the crosshairs and Charlie Day will be hopefully the last one before we move on to Rickety Cricket and Artemis. I just want the entire cast at some point. The lawyer. I want to talk to the lawyer and just call him the lawyer. Rob did say that as he was leaving, he said it again to our booker as he was walking out. He's like, I want to come back soon. He was upset at how quick the interview was. He was late. He did live stuff. So He's like, I want to come back soon. He was upset at how quick the interview was.

He had late. He did live stuff. So he was like, I want to come back. So Rob is going to be back shortly at some point. I don't know when, but he'll be back. Bring your girl. Bring your boo. We got a lot more to talk about with Rob.

Oh, fuck it. This is how you know you have a good interview for everybody out there, a little behind the curtain. If you're ever a podcaster or interviewer or whatever, we both had like an entire page of notes and bullet bullet points to hit and we hit none of them i don't think it's how you know it's a good interview no i think it is i think it is i think it's both i think it's like we didn't ask any of our questions but we and that's what we do we don't go and want to like we have questions we need but like i think that we can lean on but we'd rather

have a conversation that's how you know you had a good conversation. Maybe not an interview. I think that when you go into an interview saying question, answer, question, answer, question, answer. If Barbara Walters doesn't get any of your questions, not a great interview. Right. But that's not what we do. She's like, oh, we didn't even bring up Syria. That was like the whole point of this.

What the fuck? We didn't talk about the fucking Eagles and Pats. That's how you know it was a good conversation. Think about if you tried to script every conversation in your life. Like, all right, I'm going to go to the talk to my buddy about this and then we're gonna talk about this and i'm gonna say this and then he's gonna say that i'm gonna ask that question no you just let it flow and that's what we were doing with our guy and i just i mean him making fun of your fat baby hands was maybe legitimately the best moment of my life like my children's birth and then it's almost like i was set up for that like he came in like in the middle of the light and i immediately immediately saw them because we have two up there.

And I saw those and I did not say a fucking thing. Because you didn't want to run into it? I wasn't going to hand them a fucking unopened Miller Lite. Sean goes like this. If you weren't watching on Gold, he went to put his shirt on top of it. And Rob just goes, that's ridiculous. That's ridiculous. It was like right away.

I think he wanted it to happen. He's like, I got to talk about the beer so that he's going to open it, and then I'm going to roast it. It was like, I mean, I knew I couldn't grab that beer and hand it to him, because it would be ridiculous to grab a beer for someone, hand it to them, without taking the cap off. That's just not how it works. Right, right. So I knew I couldn't do that.

And then Brandon came in 15 minutes later with the beer. He ran into the multiple bodegas. Oh, really? I thought they were just in the pantry. So shout out to Superbrothers of BC for even making that happen. Yeah, I had to run for it. I knew we had some and I checked every fridge

we have here. Well, once there's beer in the house, it's gone. Like Mantis brings his dates here and shit. They all drink it. Any good food or booze is poof, gone.

I have a weird thing. This is going to be one of the things I have to preface. I know why I sound like an asshole. Oh, boy. I understand that this is probably coming from a place of... Okay, so here let me tell you what's happening. So I'm watching Designated Survivor, a show on Netflix. It's awfully awesome.

Jon's hate watching this shit. No, but I love it. Are we in Fast and the Furious territory? No, no, no. It's bad, but it's good? It's awfully awesome. John's hate watching this shit. No, but I love it. Are we in, like, Fast and the Furious territory? No, no, no, no. Like, it's bad, but it's good? It's great. It's just, like, every episode ends with this ridiculous hook where you're like, well, I mean, it's 3 o'clock in the morning, but, yeah, play next.

Why don't you? Right. And it's just, it's great. Keeper of the Sun is fucking awesome. It's great. But it's, you know, it's not great television, but it's great. Right, right. fucking awesome there's it's it's great and but it's no it's not great television but it's great right um but in designated survivor there are awfully lot of geopolitical issues okay as that would happen with a show in the white house right and every time they happen where it's like oh you

know uh russia knows we got attacked so they're moving subs into the Serbian coast because they know that's where our bases are or whatever. And I'm like, why? Like, dude, you know, like, everyone's good, right? I get the time. Again, I get it's kind of like a place of privilege or whatever. But, like, I get in the time when they were explorers and were discovering new lands and stuff like that. Now we have our countries. Just do your country.

Like, right? That makes perfect sense. No, I mean, listen. That's what it should be. Like, it's just like, just live in your country and have your country. And I'm going to live in my country and have my country. And if you want to come, come. But just don't come and bring war.

And I get, we probably do that a lot. But still. Well, like, okay. Our country doesn't have crude oil. And their country does. Got me a problem. You know what I mean? Oh, we got crude oil, and their country does. Got me a problem. You know what I mean? Oh, we got crude oil in Alaska?

Not enough. Not enough. That's where it comes to. Like, some countries, more valuable than other countries. And that's where we come in. But why don't we just buy it from them? Yeah, but then we gotta have, like, our... And then, like, what do you want from me?

Just buy from me. Why does all this fucking, like, political maneuvering have to happen? You're good, right? Okay, just be good. I just want everyone to be friendly. You just want world peace to happen. I do. I think it's very easy. Well, I mean.

I think that's the message to be. You're good, right? Well, okay. I agree that the world should be living under the you good. You good? They go to the UN and they lean over like, hello, yes, I'm the delegate from the United States. You good? You guys good? Hey, Middle East middle east right like the borders are set these are the borders now

okay now we have to live within these borders anything in here is mine right and i'll sell to you but we're good let me tell you another problem like okay uh they're good believing that their cause is to like spread their religion and murder anybody who doesn't agree with that. So when you say you good, they're like, no, we're not. You don't believe in Allah or whatever their cause is. So no, I'm not good. But people in Russia

are like, why do you want to come take... That's really the one that gets me in the most bad. Why do you want to come take our spies? What are you going to be spies for? That's so much effort. Why you, like,

that's, us in Russia isn't even like anything other than just like power. Yeah, just dick measuring. Just fucking be Russia

over there, dude. Relax. We'll be America over here. Yeah. I'm just thinking about like the, like the

political science major who's listening now who's just like, oh my God.'s listening now he's just like oh my god he's fine like he's right yeah no again you are right you're just so wrong you know you're right you're just dumb i just good it does i got i think i'm like a modern hippie we're like i mean you definitely are you're also getting to a point i didn't even know it was possible it's like kramer with like we're gonna go see how far to empty we can go and really empty is the right word you're really pushing the boundaries of how little you care about everything like i can't tell you how

many conversations we've had recently where you're just like yeah but like who cares and i was like well what do you mean he's like who cares about like anything you just said to me i'm just like well i and i guess so yeah i guess that applies. None of this matters. But I mean, realistically, what does it matter? Like, let me talk. I was talking about the ins and outs of pen and like what's going to happen in the future for our jobs. He was like, but like, who cares? I was like, I was like, oh, well, yeah, like you're right.

Like me and you won't be like in the room, like signing the papers. Like we don't have to let me and you literally were about – he's like, no, no, no. Who cares about any of it? I was like, okay, sure. Let's get another drink. That doesn't – I disagree with that. I might have just been in a bad mood or whatever. I care about those things.

That's like – I care about my job. No, I know. But the – I mean I don't care about Russia. no i know but the uh but i mean i don't care about russia i think no definitely that's my main thing is like until you understand i guess like yeah we wouldn't have oil or whatever the the reason is that we're there but ultimately i'm like i don't care about that other country like that you was at xenophobia or whatever or whatever it is like i like when japan was doing isolationism that worked yeah they just fucking hung out on their island and nobody come in, nobody come out. But also, if you want to come over, you can come over.

You want to come over? Fine, come over. Well, sure, but just be cool. Yeah, just be cool. It's like I'm inviting you to the party. Don't fucking ruin it, man. Exactly. Bring a bottle of wine.

Rip my cabinets off the wall. Come on over. Come hang out. But that's the problem is I think that when we invite them over, they rip the cabinets off the wall. Who's they? Well, yeah. I'm clarifying that for you.

I'm not talking about, yeah. Immigration, fine. I knew what you meant. I just wanted to get it on record. I wanted to make sure you said, here's what I mean by they. I mean Russians. I think you should run under the platform like just Feidelberg 2020. You good?

And guess what? Most people are going to say no. Right, right. But the, I don't know. You know what you should do it as? Like, not you good question mark. You should do you good dot, dot, dot. Implying, like, you are good.

It's not a question. You are good. You're good. I think I know, because I know, like, everyone's good. Because I know how simple I live. Yeah. So it's like, look, I haven't had a hot water in three days. But I'm good.

I'm not complaining. I've just been using baby wipes. You are not good. You are not good. But I'm good. Your definition of good is just staggeringly low. Yeah, but I'm just good. I know I'm good.

I slept. I woke up. I ate. I'm good. Don't smell great, but whatever. I mean, I smell. Do you want to give me a smell? I would not know that you have not showered in three days yeah i mean it's pretty good yeah pretty good i used i used baby wipes and i put cold freezing cold unnecessarily cold it's like

i don't i don't not have hot water like ice water i have ice water for some reason there's like a big boiler downstairs that they're putting ice yeah yeah and i just i wet my hair blow-dried it you really are a hippie bro yeah and your body just get like a a hemp necklace and like wear some you already got the t-boots i'm hippie put the t-boots on i'm a goddamn hippie feidelberg became a hippie i don't i just i'm a hippie who just doesn't smoke weed and wears expensive clothes in some ways you're the most anti-hippie yeah but you're good i'm i'm an amalgam i'm a i think don't put me don't put me in a box i'm not a hippie i'm not i'm not a prep i'm not a rich boy i'm not a fucking a i'm everything you

are i'm everything and that's how i know everyone's good to have a little piece of everyone right hippie that was that's so hippie i like this idea of like that might be the new mantra you're good not really a question it's a declaration you're good let's get into our voicemails voicemails are brought to you by paint your life now again valentine's day is coming uh everybody's gotta get the flowers but also you want to think outside the box you want to get a little something extra and what what better way to do it than a wonderful moment in time? I mean, think about social media. Think about pictures online, posting photographs. That's what people love.

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It makes a great gift. It makes a great piece of art for your whatever. And 30% off. It's text KFC to 64-000. KFC Fights BC. Hope you're having a good time down in Miami. I got a little am I the asshole for you.

My buddy's girlfriend lives with us in the university. And she's extremely lazy. Really does nothing. Doesn't pay. She doesn't live with us, but she comes over every day and sleeps over. Doesn't do anything. Doesn't pay for anything.

Uses everything. Even sometimes when she steals my food. I don't look like it but anyway she uh she's over when my buddy her boyfriend isn't home and i kind of lost it i was like what the fuck are you doing here she's just a complete inconvenience to my life. Everyone's saying that I'm being over-exaggeration, like I'm being too much about this, but I think it's Josh. She's in my house. She comes over every night

and takes the best seat on the couch. She didn't pay for the couch. We did. We paid for the TV. She tries to put on her Grey's Anatomy. She's watched a million times. I don't know what to do. I've talked to my buddy,

but my reasons sound ridiculous. So am I the asshole for despising this girl more than anyone? Anyways. First of all, love that Canadian accent. Yeah, I feel like I'm listening to Spittin' Chippets. Grey's an otomy. I didn't do a double take of what show he's talking about. I've never heard it called Grey's an otomy.

I thought he said ottoman. what the fuck's going on that's a much more boring show than great anatomy just gray on an ottoman um but the i think this is totally like i mean yeah you're kind of being an asshole but like no you're not you know what i mean it's like if it ended it's like she's eating your food or whatever that's like like – I mean, queues as fuck. I always think if you are worried about like your food, you're a dickhead. You're a cheap asshole. Like just buy food. Someone might eat some. They'll buy some food. A bag of chips, a fucking jar of peanut butter.

It's not going to break the bank. Yeah, who cares? And look, I'm not going to eat all of it. And also I don't think you can get mad about sitting on the couch I paid for. Like taking your seat every night is different. Oh, taking my seat. But like you can't be like... But there is a very

necessary relief. It's not an actual sigh, but it's almost like people say, let your tension in your shoulders go, and you feel it, and you're like, oh wow, I didn't even realize I've been holding this. That's what you feel every day when you walk into your apartment. And if there's

someone there who does not belong there, it's going to keep you tight. And I am a firm believer if the significant other should not be there without the boyfriend or girlfriend. No. Like maybe in a pinch or something like that. Dude, one time I was living with four guys. It was three real bedrooms bedrooms it was a big apartment it was a great apartment my buddy had his girlfriend basically just moving doing this um she brought a cat and then my other buddy his girlfriend was moving and was like a week in

between her leases and so she needed to stay so we had had four people, two girls, and a fucking cat. And the one guy, girlfriend, we loved, and it was like, she's in a jam. She needs a place to stay. Fine. It was the other guy that was like, what the fuck is your girl doing here? Now, in her defense, she used to hide.

She wouldn't just be sitting on the couch and shit. So she was aware that she was being an inconvenience. We had one bathroom, so sometimes she'd be in there. We got to fucking go to work. Let's go. And there's just nothing worse than being like, yo, I know that you're blinded by love right now, but this is a fucking problem. You have to notice the fact that you're in an inconvenience. You have to see that tension in other people.

I can't be here right now. Yes. There's always so many things that are just – it's nothing. It's just you – honestly, it sounds so mean. It's just you being alive. Yep. You're not doing – Just your presence. it sounds so mean. It's just you being alive. Yep. You're not doing... Just your presence. You're not doing anything.

You're not being annoying. You're not yelling. You're just living. You're watching TV. You're just breathing. You're breathing. And I can't have someone here right now. I need to be...

I'll do that with my roommates where it's like, I'll be in my room alone. My door's shut. And I'll just hear someone else come in. Son of a bitch. Just knowing you're not alone. Knowing you're not alone knowing you're not alone is a very awful feeling and you sign up for roommates so you know like at times i'm not going to be alone because these people who pay and contribute and we agreed to are going

to be here but when there's that third or fourth member or whatever it is who shouldn't be there and you and like your buddy's like well whatever because we're gonna fuck later and it's like well i'm not gonna i don't love you i'm not fucking you we're not hanging out you're just bothering me i don't get any of the good i get all the bad it's it's the it's the worst thing but and so you're not the asshole the true asshole is the boyfriend here because the girlfriend is probably although she seems like an asshole too like by just flaunting it like i like the girl who was in my situation who was like hiding i think she was kind of in a situation too and was like all right i'm trying my best to just like stay out of it it's on the boyfriend to step up and be like all right i know this is a problem

guys hey babe you can't do this anymore yeah it shouldn't even be a fight you know you're right there's really really no reason to be here i have a tv at home right i'll just hang out at home when you're here and you got to know i guess like the ages of people if this is like right out of college or like it's different if you're like 35 versus 20 there are different times where where this is a little more acceptable than others but in general the rule is dude i've i've done this the importance of being alone it cannot be stressed i think it's up there with oxygen and water yeah just just the time alone i had at one time i was i was at a girlfriend's house and she had a roommate and i was just sitting on the couch.

And the roommate wasn't there. Her and the roommate worked together, so neither of them were over. And she texted me, hey, my roommate's boyfriend is coming home. He's coming over to wait for her. Just want to give you a heads up. And I went and sat in the closet. Now, to be fair, it was like I could hear him watching TV in the living room. I didn't want to turn the TV on in her room because I didn't want him to know I was even there.

I don't want to have the conversation or anything. Now, to be fair, it was like a carpeted closet, like a walk-in closet. So I just sat in there on my phone. But it was like I didn't want any contact. Because I was in full-blown I'm alone time. And in someone else's apartment i was fine to go hide in a closet yeah but if it was my apartment i'd probably do the same and i wish i didn't have to hide in your own closet in your own apartment i mean i need to be

alone right now i i have can't you walk over like i almost get hard walking home on the like to work from work i'm like i'm about to be alone yeah Yeah, man. It's going to be – I'm going to be quiet. That's when you get into a bad relationship, bad marriage, where you're living with someone and it's bad, and it's like your home now becomes like your scary place, your tense place. You know what I mean? It is – you have to have that alone time. It's like guys hide in the bathroom.

It's the one place that guys can still hide. It's like, I'm going to take a shit, or I'm going to take an hour-long shower because you ain't going guys hide in the bathroom it's the one place that guys can still like hide it's like i'm gonna take a shit or i'm gonna take like an hour long shower because you ain't gonna bust in the door here everywhere else like someone's gonna bother me it is it's crazy how it's a bed and just an accepted thing for so long words like my mom always says about my dad where she's like he wouldn't live with us if he didn't have to yeah because it's just he needs a long time he doesn't love you right he just she's like if he wasn't legally obligated to live with us he wouldn't because that's why I preach separate dinners. I've gone as far as to preach separate bedrooms.

It doesn't have to happen every night, but there's something. It should just be accepted. I need to be alone tonight. I just have to. I can't be here. I'm going to go get a hotel. I'm not going to fuck anyone in there. I'm just going to go sit in a hotel because I need it.

It's nothing against you. It's just human nature. I can't be with anyone anymore. My shoulders have been tight for six weeks. Next up. KFC, Fights, Super Producer BC, possibly Big Cat if it's a classic.

I had a question for you. I just go to my favorite deli, order my favorite sandwich. You know, once a week I go there, whatever. And I have to cross my fingers that I don't get this certain employee because she always fucks up my sandwich so i get there today for lunch lo and behold here she is she takes down my order i make sure i give it nice and clear she goes behind the counter she's like struggling a little like thinking looking around i'm like oh god here we go. And I wouldn't care if it's, like, I order Provolone and she gives me American cheese or something dumb, whatever.

But if she starts, like, putting tuna salad or something on, like, a chicken cutlet sandwich, like, when am I allowed to defend myself here? Is that a thing, or do I just have to take my sandwich and walk out the door like the lit sheep I am? Also, this could volant to say if this could be a restaurant and order a rare steak and it comes back well done, like a hockey puck. And I'm not one to ever send anything back,

but is there a line in this world where I'm allowed to start defending myself? Thanks, guys. Viva. I mean, you know what me and John are going to say. Yeah, I mean, you can definitely you can definitely defend yourself absolutely you're well within your rights to defend yourself right away the line is when someone screws up what they're supposed to be doing that's the actual line no no that's the like literal line the actual line is like she has to be like causing me harm before

i say anything i don't like is she putting broken glass? Yeah, that's what I mean. If it's dangerous to me, maybe. I'll probably watch her put the broken glass on, pay her, smile, take it, throw it in the garbage, go to another deli. I will never return something for cooking. Dude, it happens to me sometimes. Maybe if it's super undercooked and it's as much as just pop it back in.

But if it's overcooked and it means they've got to make a new one or something then definitely not dude i mean i i do it sometimes downstairs at pop ellies where they they put up they get your sandwich out and they're not very good downstairs i don't know i don't know how often you eat there but not often they're not very good yeah and they're very incredibly slow like i'll walk in it'll just be me and i'll stand there for 10 minutes 10 minutes for a cold sandwich. You're not even cooking it. And I'm like, no, no, it's hot. Oh, it is okay. Yeah, I get it. And I will say, can I have a tuna

sandwich, please? And the woman will say, absolutely, I'd love to get that for you. And she starts cutting it open and we're looking at each other and I'm saying, thank you so much, ma'am. I'm overly polite. And she just takes a heaping handful of chicken and pops it in there. And she puts it on the conveyor belt very slow. I have ample time to say, that of chicken, pops it in there. And she puts it on the conveyor belt very slow.

I have ample time to say, that's chicken, not tuna. I don't. I just walk down to the end of it, and I get up, and I have a grilled chicken. Watch my chicken slowly get cooked. I'm like, perfect. That's exactly what I wanted. Thank you so much. And that's it.

And you walk out. That's the way. I mean, that's just the way. I don't know if he really clarified what she does exactly wrong. Right, right. But if it's a food you eat, just eat it. If it's something you're allergic to, don't. If it's a food you eat, just fucking eat it.

Like, go to another place where there's more competent people. You know what I mean? When you're ever craving something, I'll think sometimes, like, oh, man, I'm craving a slice of pizza. And if I walk by a cheeseburger, I'll go, oh, that's perfect. You're like a puppy dog. Oh, all right. Yeah, that'll work. It's like, what are you in the mood for?

Chinese? Here's some pizza. OK. Who really cares, right? It's good. You're good? It's food, right? Do you like cheeseburgers?

Do you want one now? It doesn't matter. It's good. You're good. Eat it. I'm hungry. A pizza sounded great. If I ordered a pizza and a cheeseburger showed up, I'd eat the pizza.

Sure. Yeah, but if you ordered a pizza and something you do not eat shows up. No, then I'd probably call back. If it was an eggplant salad, I'd probably say no thank you. But if I call an Italian pizza restaurant and something other than a pizza comes up, it's probably something I eat, so I'm just going to eat it. Right. That is a just going to eat it. Right.

That is a good way to live. Don't complain about shit like that. But again, you're within your rights to do certain things. You're absolutely within your rights. Yeah. It's like freedom of speech. It's like you can say whatever, but you're kind of an asshole if you're like spouting off about certain things. You can complain, but you know.

I was going to go a different route. Kind of similar route. Same people complain about it. I was going go a different route uh kind of similar route same people complain about it i was gonna go stay in your ground law are you allowed to shoot this person yeah probably not not a good probably not it's not it's not really life or death let's probably just not kill anyone during the argument pretty fair pretty yeah you're good be good by the way while we're talking about making sandwiches we need to have like a universal law for sandwich makers i hate when you have the the the hero and you unfold it and then you make it so it's one level like you put all the meat kind of in the middle and all the toppings in the middle and you like fold it over i hate that you know i'm talking about i know so like if i'm making a

sandwich i open it up right i would put like the meat, all the toppings, everything here, and then just put the bread on top. Okay. You ever see when they put the deli meat in the middle? No, I don't think I know. It's the worst. And then your sandwich ends up being rolled, kind of. So certain bites don't have all the toppings or the condiments. Certain bites are just all meat.

No, that sounds awful. It's the worst. I don't know what you're talking about, but it sounds awful it's it's it happens a lot when you're making like an italian combo they'll just put like salami and then like like all the meats kind of in on top of the whole thing and then just wrap it up and then you have certain bites don't have all the shit it's like put put all the all the food on one part of the bread and just put the bread on top you don't don't know what I'm talking about, but the people who do fully, I know they understand. You have to make sure there's equal distribution of meat, cheese, and condiments on your sandwich. Last voicemail of the day is brought to you by Burrow.

Shout out to Joe Burrow. I mean, they got to sign Joe Burrow or something, right? That would be smart. Cincinnati Bengals, go get yourself a Burrow. Go to burrow.com slash KFC right now. You can get $75 off a new couch plus free one-week shipping. And the couch you're going to get is top-notch when it comes to comfort, when it comes to style, when it comes to customization,

when it comes to ease of delivery and use and putting together. It can fit in any size apartment or home. You can customize it so that it will fit any of your rooms. It's USB capable, so it's a smart couch so it can charge your phone i'm sure we're like minutes away from it being not just a charger but also like uh you know you get your news from it or something the couch is going to be telling you the weather and giving you you know you listen to some music and all sorts of shit so burrow is the couch of the future get on it now and get yourself one soon right oh just like you just imagine that you just wake up and you just drive your couch right now i

would literally wake up because that's where i sleep i wake up i'm out i've always it's like a minority report where they have like those cars like pot like right my couch goes right out the fucking window right into my place of work imagine it's like a roller coaster almost getting to work baby you fucking we go up the freight elevator you tell me that the world comes to that point we're really just describing a comfortable wheelchair i take it everywhere i mean i wheel it to work i wheel it to the restaurant i'm always sitting down if you tell me the world gets there in the future someone comes and like look in 30 years here's what happens i want to be that's what's going to make you want to live.

I want to be around for that. Dude, I was thinking about that. Sorry. B-U-R-R-O-W dot com slash KFC for the couch and the discount. I was thinking about that the other day in bed where I'm like a third of the way through my life.

Yeah, you got a long way to go. That's insane. Well, 90s a bit much i i have probably at worst 50 years left with medical advances i'm not pretending i'm a beacon of health with medical advances stuff you couldn't see yourself kicking the bucket at 75 i mean no probably not i all my grandparents were like high 80s. Worst case scenario, probably, I'd live until I'm 80. That's insane.

Sucks for you, bro. How crazy is that? I'm cashing out at 71. I really don't think that. I think I'd be like, not bad, if I was a plane crash. If a plane started going down, I truly believe that. At this age, right now? Close. Not a now? Close. Not a tragedy.

Close. We're definitely getting to the point where I'm like, I mean, do we want 50 more? If it's right now or 50 more, I'll get off here. Right. That's kind of the thing. It's like, I'd love it. I'd like 30. But 50?

I'd rather cash out now. Yeah. I'll take this one. You are one bleak motherfucker. Unless a couch comes. Unless a rolling couch is in the future. What's up, boys? Question.

So I work at this job. I've been here about probably six months. Relatively new team, pretty young team. Everyone's kind of in their 20s, around my age. And I have one of my co-workers pretty hot and you know i never have made a move on her but i don't know like small flirtation here and there um anyways so and i've been out with her you know once or twice before but nothing ever happened and yeah so like i don't know I honestly haven't been that focused on it.

But today, I'm standing there, and her and the girl that sits next to her, who I'm also friends with, I was talking to them, and then they just start talking in code while I'm standing there. I don't know. They weren't saying made-up words.

What they were saying was in the English dictionary, but i honestly don't even remember what it was and they said something and then kind of like laughed with each other and then i was like what i was like what what the hell did you say and then they just did it again twice and i was like laughing and it was funny but i have no idea what the fuck they were saying and it was clearly like dude i have no idea what you're saying to understand um what's like something that I was not supposed to understand. What's your take? I have no idea what the fuck I think this means. On one hand, I think they may have been making fun of me.

On the other hand, I think maybe the Q1 was, I don't know. Well, I mean, they're talking in code in front of you. They're saying something they don't want you to hear. I don't. Is he saying these people have made up a code so they can speak in public i knew girl there was there's a crew of girls that i went to like middle school and high school with who fucking had their own language middle school i get that's probably something people do in middle school i get like these girls you're an adult man with it a bar these girls would go like it'll put you to put you to put it about and it

would be like they would put like id and pa it was like pig latin almost but they had they could do it for like their entire speaking so it would be like they were talking a million miles an hour and they just understood it we were all sitting around like yeah it's like a baseball coach like two things matter yeah right i'm like yeah you have an indicator and then you're good right but i mean if they were just talking like nicknames and like you know shit. Right. But, I mean, if they were just talking, like, nicknames and, like, you know, shit that, like, you wouldn't know, that just sounds like they, you know, have, like, an inside joke or a nickname or... It sounds like they were talking about their friend Rickety

and just not understanding that word threw off the entire fucking conversation. Like, there's no way, there's no way there are adult girls at a bar who are speaking to each other in code. Because they could just be like, we have to go to the bathroom. Yeah, that is true. They could just walk away. I think you were drunk, man.

That's the only explanation. I think you were just fucking shit-faced. Speaking in code is tough. What is that? Like, I have to know what his brain really is thinking. What does he mean by code? What was he hearing? He said they were English words. Right. But so, like, if

a girl had a, you know, if it was like, if she called her boyfriend a certain thing, like a certain name or something, and you didn't know what that was, that could be like a code. You know what I mean? That's a nickname. Right. I feel like it's like a nickname. Yeah, I mean that's a nickname right i feel like i feel like it's like a nickname i think you dropped a nickname and it just your brain just couldn't focus anymore we need more this guy's got a call back i don't know we need more information bro

i need to know it sounds like girls were speaking english in front of you and you didn't know what they were saying i don't know do you know english it sounds like you were talking to some educated women and they were using they have a big vocabulary definitely words i noticed but i can't figure out what they were saying sound like you're an idiot by the way great vocabulary on rob mcclain did you notice that i didn't drop the ameliorate and something else on us i was like okay somebody retained you dropped what ameliorate he's speaking in code you don't know yeah i mean uh we'll catch you guys next week for another edition of KC Radio. Turn around. Look at what you see.

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