KFC Radio - Rory Mcilroy Overcomes An All Time Choke to Win the Masters - Full Episode

Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey KFC radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC radio on Apple podcast, Spotify or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon music. Go! Get out! Alright, we'll do some master stock while she's gone. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry. Let's just start podding. Thank you for setting up. Sorry.

Starting point is 00:00:24 Thank you for doing my job. What is the point of the sorrys? I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. So, are we good? Um, three seconds. Somebody's not ready. You're all good, you're all good. You're all good.

Starting point is 00:00:32 You're all good. You're all good. You're all good. You're all good. You're all good. You're all good. You're all good. You're all good.

Starting point is 00:00:40 You're all good. You're all good. You're all good. You're all good. You're all good. You're all good. You're all good. You're all good. You're all good. Are we good? Well, that's what happens when you get here at 1105 when we're supposed to be 11 Jackie burst through the door in a Canadian tuxedo. I think on the phone, when we're talking to somebody,

Starting point is 00:01:11 I couldn't even see what we need. I want to start a whole new Instagram account, whole new TikTok that's just called Jackie Entrances. And it's just- That camera will now be just for that. Just that door. And just watch her burst through the door every day. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Starting point is 00:01:24 Spilling things, holding things, things talking five minutes late every time minimum It's like the opening of a sitcom. Yeah It's a little creamer ask like the door flies open Jackie's in the building long long I guess I haven't said it but like I've known likeances are not a strength. Not a strength. Or though, they are your thing. Yeah, they're memorable. Yeah, I'd argue they are a strength. Yeah, but there's ways to do it in which I don't come off as like,

Starting point is 00:01:55 A, highlight that I'm late, highlight that I'm the shadow. Well, if you're going to be late to your job, you might want to make it a little more subtle. I have to be making it more subtle. Oh my God, you guys were here? I was here the whole time. You might want to make it a little more subtle Jackie's like I'm a little late. I gotta be quiet and then kicks the door Well today in my defense like I was on time we were good with the clock were you though We got a text at 11 a.m.. Saying I'll be there in five Yeah, well like before then because then my sister was like we have to figure out dad's birthday like like then she was like talking to me about all these like things and one of our big fights is like

Starting point is 00:02:30 we always like fight over the the gift and who puts in more effort over the gifts then I couldn't be the one that's like it's like oh sorry like I can't right now I have to go to work you know so then I had to be like yeah like let's do this story on ideas all this stuff and then literally right there when like she was definitely annoyed when I When I just walked in anyways, but that was that like that excuse is like one of those things where it's like in order to avoid I needed it needed to

Starting point is 00:02:55 That was I just watched you drown While you flailed I would go ahead grab something No, no While you flailed I went go ahead grab something Dude you know you know I feel like I've given a speech a couple times early on where I was kind of like You know like Dave Dave has his way of managing things, and I'm not gonna I'm gonna do it a little differently right you know and I'm always kind of like don't just don't make me Don't put me in a position like that right I'm just thinking imagine if you were late, and you were like Dave listen my dad's birthday is coming

Starting point is 00:03:26 and I had to talk to my sister about who gives the better gift and I keep it to the sister who gives the better gift I mean like what would be the reaction to a situation like that? I love it. Yeah. I love it. Just Jackie's world. Jackie's world. Anyways. That should be your vlog, Jackie's world.

Starting point is 00:03:44 I'm out of excuses anymore. I don't know anything. You guys. We was a gossip. I miss. I honestly don't remember. I don't think it was any hot gossip. Oh, well, one here. Fun fact, though. I do want to hear a fun story.

Starting point is 00:03:57 Yeah. OK, I've been waiting to tell the story. It's my favorite story. So I went the other night. Actually, two quick stories. One, I'll start with one. It's not my favorite story, but is funny. So I went the other night, actually two quick stories. One, I'll start with one that's not my favorite story, but is funny. So I went the other night to a night, an evening with Mark Hoppus,

Starting point is 00:04:11 who is the lead singer of Blink 182. Me, Nate Dog, Bob Fox. And I've been on a black and white cookie kick recently. You just discovered them, right? Yeah, more or less. The first time, right? I didn't know, I thought they were just a regular cookie underneath. I didn't know that thought they were just a regular cookie underneath

Starting point is 00:04:25 I didn't know that it was like the cake thing so I'd seen him obviously ten million times But I just thought it was regular cookie, and I was like I'd rather have a chocolate chip I don't agree with that if I if I ever thought that was the situation yeah I didn't know it was like that cakey yeah, so I've had some really fell in love with them Then I heard that juniors Erica Fleishman actually told me a juniors Is the one. So we go to, fucking, eat an evening with Mark Hoppus,

Starting point is 00:04:52 Brooklyn Paramount, get there, directly across the street, what is it? But Junior's original cheesecake. And I was like, well we gotta catch up. I think that's the one that they had to walk to in the band, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait, what's the significance?

Starting point is 00:05:05 Junior's? Yeah. It's just like this famous cheesecake and bakery place, but when P. Diddy had a show back in the day where they were doing making the band, he made them walk from Manhattan to Brooklyn to get cheesecake. Oh, got it.

Starting point is 00:05:18 I think it's that. It's the same one, yeah. Yeah, got it. And so I was like, well, we gotta go in there and get some. I hear they're fucking unbelievable. We go in, I get two black and whites for me and me and Nate Some rainbow cookies for Bob and then as we're walking out. I was like you want me they both had backpacks I had just a jacket and I was like I'll just carry these in Don't worry about it. I'll give them to you when we're inside and they're like no no we'll put them in our backpacks

Starting point is 00:05:41 It's probably easier that way and I think it's easier in the pockets. Then we were like, you know what? We're probably overthinking this. These are five cookies. I think they will be OK no matter what. Get to the security at Brooklyn Paramount. I walk in, no problem. Both of them get flagged. Cookies gone.

Starting point is 00:05:56 And they both, both the security guards reach into both their bags. Like, they know exactly what they're looking for. And they pull out the cookies. They go, no cookies allowed in the air. That is not the first time. Those guys just have a racket where they steal people's cookies and then no no because then they were like can we eat them first and they're like yeah but you gotta go outside to eat them so they're both on the sidewalk just hammering cookies just like

Starting point is 00:06:17 putting cookies through a wood chipper just like stuff in their mouth with cookies bob fox is in line back in line going to go not TSA, but go through security. And the guy's like, I told you, no cookies. And Bob's like, there's a trash barrel up there. I'm trying to get it in. Do you have footage? I don't have footage of this. That was very funny.

Starting point is 00:06:38 But then the real story that I really liked from that evening. Wait, so wait, you were able to eat them in there? Oh, he was in my pocket. I never saw anything. Right, so but you're in able to eat them in there? He was in my pocket. They never saw it. Right. So but you're in the thing eating it. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:06:47 I was sitting there eating fucking black and white. Three rows away, as close as Pabst is to me, Mark Hoppus is sitting there telling stories. And I'm fucking munching. He's like, how'd you get that cookie in here? I'm not telling you, Mark. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha.

Starting point is 00:07:01 But it's a cool night. It's really cool. So he just wrote a book, Mark Hoppus, called Fahrenheit 182, which is a great title. Yeah. And it's just a good looking book. What's up? What do you think that title is in reference to? The Fahrenheit 451 book.

Starting point is 00:07:15 Bingo Bango. Yeah. And it's a cool night, really awesome night. He's telling all kinds of stories about the first third of the night and the first third of the book is about like his early life. Middle third is about Blink-22 and third cancer. And they there's I mean, I could literally tell you a hundred stories from that night, but the craziest one, one of the questions was, where is the wildest

Starting point is 00:07:38 place you've ever performed? And he's like, it's pretty hard to be active war. He like 2003 we performed on the USO tour. We were performing in battleships or performing in the deserts and while we're actively searching for Saddam Hussein and all this stuff, and at the end of their tour, they get a message that the rear admiral of the United States Navy and the captain, I believe, of the battleship that they were performing on want to have dinner

Starting point is 00:08:06 with them before they leave, he pops up a picture of like the three of them and two just lifelong military men, like jar heads, big guys, fucking like in uniform. And it's Mark, Tom and Travis in like cut off shirts like as good as the thought of like even the active war thing. And they're like, tonight, bombs are exploding and they're plotting how to kill Saddam. And, and like the, you know, it gets a good pop. And then he goes, and after this dinner I sat up and I said, I know how to catch us at I'm saying, and crowd erupts laughing. And he goes,

Starting point is 00:08:38 that's exactly how they reacted. But I don't fuck around. He goes, people don't know this about me. My dad's a rocket scientist and I know what the fuck I'm talking about and he goes people I not remember in early 2003 I didn't I don't know. I obviously you guys won't But Saddam Hussein was sending out the worst podcast in history basically every night He was recording himself in a cave on a videotape He would get that to his supporters and his fans He was recording himself in a cave on a videotape. He would get that to his supporters and his fans.

Starting point is 00:09:05 They would put the tape out for the world to see, like, fuck the American dog, keep fighting, yada yada yada. Jack, you would have forgot to record it. Yeah. Imagine that. You have to tell Saddam Hussein. I didn't press record. We got to do the propaganda again.

Starting point is 00:09:19 Chop your head off. Put this helmet on and chop your head off. But he's like, you know what region he's in, Saddam's in, and you know he's recording himself on a video camera basically every night. Fly piloted missions in a grid formation over that region. Have the planes dropping sonar down at a frequency that they will hear the recording device

Starting point is 00:09:40 of the video camera. Bingo, bingo. You can narrow it down. You'll find them that way. In the rear of the United States Navy sits up and goes, holy shit. And Mark goes, yeah. Yeah. And the rear of the United States Navy goes,

Starting point is 00:09:58 that's a good idea. And Mark goes, I know it is. And he goes, I have a meeting at the Pentagon next week. I think I'm going to bring that and Mark goes you should that was September 2003 December 2023 December 2003 they catch the Dom and he puts his he stands up on stage puts his arms up like I changed the course of human history he then went on to say I don't know if they actually used it or anything like that he's like but too much pretty caught him they went That's a fucking good idea

Starting point is 00:10:28 Are they not this might be a dumb question are there is there like only like one video camera for That I think in that rock, you know, they were like in the mountains. Yeah, I Hiding yeah again. He's like, I don't know if they actually did it but the timeline You know what that is at the very least? Like a good idea that like, when you're in any sort of meeting at work, and like, ideas, give me ideas, come on, come on, what do you got, what do you got?

Starting point is 00:10:56 You just gotta throw shit out there. Sonar planes while he records. And someone goes, good idea, okay, I did my job for the day. We're probably just gonna send like 50,000 troops through the mountains kill everybody He's probably one of those guys in the mountain. They're all dead But maybe this sonar thing too Mmm, but that was fucking here today. No. Yeah

Starting point is 00:11:21 How you would it like like it to be? Really? Yeah, ideal. Yeah swampy. this is how you would like like it to be like this really yeah ideal yeah swampy this is about to get like the new or the you know summer I'm really working out but this summer what's it like the summer in New York summer I see what you're saying I got you I got you like the seasons are turning what do we summer is the hottest summer you ever had is a winter in New York. Yeah, but like is a girl's winter. Because. Yo, yo.

Starting point is 00:11:52 I'm not going to be. Can I take a coffee? The worst podcaster ever. I didn't have time to get coffee. Can I get coffee? Yeah, please, please, Jackie. We can't start the show without unless you're ready. Get out.

Starting point is 00:12:08 Get out. No. All right, we'll do some master's talk while she's gone. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. Bro, I watched the master's. I said you wanted to do some master's talk while she's gone.

Starting point is 00:12:21 Dude, I know that he's like a choker, but I couldn't believe when he missed that putt on 18. I was like, I was going to go do a video and I had started a video probably on 17, after the approach shot on 17, where he was like, go, go, go, go. And I was like, I gotta go, I'm gonna have this video ready. And then like it got a little dicey, cause he hit it in the bunker. And then I was like, fuck, all right, I gotta go something to have this video ready and then like it got a little dicey Because he hit in the bunker and then I was like fuck all right I gotta stop and then he hits it out of the bunker and I go again And I and then I kind of had an ear out and I was like Like Jurassic Park

Starting point is 00:13:03 Water that was in I'm sure that I didn't even pick it up, but it was like Jurassic Park. I think if you check the water shaking that was in I'm sure that I didn't pick it up But it was like dump dump dump dump honestly incredibly impressed. That's like a lot of strength. She has yeah That's like a lot of a lot of power in your fucking leg. Yeah, like that girl could like she could kick in the door Wow, I Just it was the it was the weirdest thing to watch someone have The best and worst round of their life. Yeah at the same time I I don't watch a lot of masters in fact last yesterday was probably the most masters I've ever watched you know I like turn it on when tiger was on 16 or something like that, but like yesterday

Starting point is 00:13:38 I watched Rory and Bryson's basically their full round. I think I missed the first two or three holes That was the greatest masters of all time right well Tiger yeah I guess about a tiger 19 or Tigers earlier there's two very famous I feel like the tiger once he was blew him out though right it was always like a lot of yeah one by 20 strokes yeah there's the one where I say yeah I don't know but it felt like it was just it felt like every bat but in general people are gonna always pick a tiger event, probably. But I was surprised by how much like, Jim Nance, foreplay, a lot of the golf people were like,

Starting point is 00:14:11 greatest shot of all time, best masters of all time, like all that. Oh, yeah? Yeah, a lot of that was going on. And I don't know if it was recency bias or whatever, but this shot specifically, people were like, that is like the best one of the best golfs. This is what I need to go, go, go. No, no, no, no, no. This is 15. This is the one it just, I go, go. No, no, no, no, no. This is 15.

Starting point is 00:14:25 This is the one it just, I don't know, that tracker I think was really cool. This is what Jim was saying, shot of a lifetime. 17 was when he went go, go, go, and it actually went. But it was like the shot of a lifetime and then a whole later he did it again. But that's the entertainment, right? And then, that's Rory.

Starting point is 00:14:40 Yeah, yeah. There was, I don't, I'm not gonna be able to find this, but there's such a beautiful quote about golf and just like how hard it is And like yesterday yesterday was such good golf that it was like it made me be like I get golf right now I understand. Yeah watching golf I understand the highs and the lows and the fucking mental torture chamber that these people put themselves in I like It was all just clicking for me. Like every hole I was in. Well you know what it turns into is like a movie.

Starting point is 00:15:07 Yeah, right. It's like, he's not gonna miss that. Oh my god, he missed it. It's like, that's like Rocky, where you know what I mean? It's like we're scripting this to make it as dramatic as possible. Yeah. Do they just like have these in the can ready to go?

Starting point is 00:15:18 I think so, yeah. Because Rory, first of all, had not won a major in 10 years. 10 year gap, it was almost the same as Tiger's gap. But he was the number one player in the world right now. Right, but like, you don't know, you know what I mean? Like when did they make this?

Starting point is 00:15:38 This commercial, we're watching, like a Nike, it's a Nike commercial, right? Or is this like a fan made thing? No, it's a Nike commercial. And it's about Tiger and Rory, they both, I couldn't believe by the way, it's only, there's only six Grand Slams. People with a crew of Grand Slams.

Starting point is 00:15:51 I would have thought that number's higher. Jack, Arnie, Tiger. Golf guy, keep going. Gary Player, I think? Player, I just remember the graphic they showed yesterday. Yeah. But that's always crazy to me to think that like, for all I know, they made that one 10 years ago.

Starting point is 00:16:07 Right? Like, wait. Oh yeah, Ben Hogan. Gene Saracen, Ben Hogan, Gary Player, Jack Nichols, Tucker Woods in that room. Jack Nichols. I like my name. It is kind of like your name. Go get another cup of coffee. Go get another cup.

Starting point is 00:16:21 I was like, what? She's like, it's kind of like my name. No, you nailed it. Yeah, that was the response I was looking for. I like he's kind of you know you know Have we talked about how you walk like a dinosaur like we could Like running down the hallway. First of all, that was a run. OK, sorry. Let me change that. You run like a dinosaur. Is that better?

Starting point is 00:16:53 In terms of the sound I make or I look like... No, we just felt it in here. You felt the room shaking. I thought you were saying I look like a terrestrial when I run. You know what you probably look like? This is a niche reference, but I think a lot of people are going to get it. You're going to look like you look like the daughter from Taken

Starting point is 00:17:10 when she runs to hug Liam Neeson. Do you know what I'm talking about? Some people will know what I'm talking about. What's her name in White Lotus when she runs when the gun comes out or whatever? What's her name? She's the one, she runs so intensely, so fast. Everyone's like, that's a true New Yorker. I have to take this off. I'm so hot.

Starting point is 00:17:27 So hot, right? This is almost... I don't know. This is just your stream of consciousness. I'm so sorry. Hey, going forward, I will be so much more put together. Can we just call it... Hey, today's today's gonna be my best podcasting day whatever's coming out of my mouth isn't really gonna make sense until I finish that cover. I do love when you when you just punt on a day. Not even just you, I didn't mean like everybody. There are certain days in life where you're just like I just got to make it to bedtime or try again tomorrow.

Starting point is 00:18:03 Do you have people like that where it's like, I have two people in my life. I don't know what it was like. I just started with them on an awkward note and it always continues. I never, never sound like say anything good when it comes to them. And like my friends will, like one guy,

Starting point is 00:18:19 I don't know what it is. I always make a sexual, sexual thing, I know it Tim and I always like almost like sexually harass him when I do it I don't mean to and then the other guy it's just like I cannot look him in the eyes I can't he's not like crazy hot or anything I just like can't I just have people like that too words you can't function around yeah you're kind of Lamar that's on speaking of people can't function around let's get a thrift shop up oh yeah, yeah. Yeah, okay Well, I thought you were setting that up the whole time no

Starting point is 00:18:48 What a big would have been good you don't know there's a guy who runs a thrift shop that Jackie Stalks that's yeah, you know you leered him through the window It's just definitively what you do So Jackie's in love with this guy He's like super hot, like strikingly handsome to the point that she like stops into this thrift store multiple times. Can I tell my side of the story?

Starting point is 00:19:12 No, that's the story. Yeah, but. And then Pabs did a photo shoot there, a video shoot there, and the guy remembers Pabs and not you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So then like I walk in, go go cuz I had time to kill before like And I was like okay like I'm gonna go stalk this guy You miss the kill I'll go to go stop

Starting point is 00:19:33 We had another like article of clothing that I'd seen in another shops And I'm walking back, but then I see him in the window and I was like It veered me off my course of what I decided I wanted to do. Because I was delirious. OK. So then I walk in. And he, I'm pretty sure he remembered me. He said he was like, oh, I almost didn't recognize you.

Starting point is 00:19:56 You look different, which I think means he remembers me. I would think so. Yeah. And then he was like, oh, what's your name again? And I was like, it's probably just not like good names like you know I totally remembers. He's just playing a game Yeah, you should have been like you know I'm Jackie then then like so then but then he was like oh like You know he was excited to see me, and then he was like

Starting point is 00:20:21 Picking out things for me throughout the store, getting it, whatever. And then we're talking, he's like, wait, so where do you work, whatever. And I was like, oh, I work for a podcast. Actually, at Barstool, my coworker was here the other day with some other Barstool people I had to shoot. He was like, oh yeah, there was a guy here who's really cool, really, really cool.

Starting point is 00:20:39 And I was like, yeah, his name is, he was Mike. Yeah, yeah, I remember. I was like, yeah. So he's good with names. So he's good. Yeah, his name is, he was Mike. Yeah, yeah, I remember. I was like, oh, so he's good with names. So he's good with names, okay. So he is good with names. Yeah. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:20:51 Really cool. Really, really cool. And that was in the end of it. Then he goes on to just be like, oh God, he was so cool. He was so cool. And just a great guy, hung out with him all day. Oh, I got it, he's fucking cool. He was like, do you know him? He's fucking cool But wait, so this guy is definitely gay

Starting point is 00:21:18 But I feel like that's kind of a weird like I feel like if a gay guy was talking to a girl and talking about Another guy she was like you just big he's hot. I think it's a weird thing to be this is really cool guy. He's really cool Yeah, yeah Unless spazz is just that cool. What would you do that day? happens a lot. Yeah. Ah. Ah. Dude, I was just beating myself.

Starting point is 00:21:46 Like, anyways. Anyways, so he clearly is taking the liking, too. But then I'm there. Now he's like actually picking, I probably tried out 30 articles of clothing. No. He literally picked out, he picked out tops for me, picked out bottoms for me.

Starting point is 00:22:01 I mean, that's. He also kept being like, just kept like doing like the size. I don't know, he kept being like, he just kept doing the size. He kept being like, you'll fit into this. He was like, actually this big. And I was like, OK. Whatever. Technically, I will fit in.

Starting point is 00:22:15 I'm blind, but I have heard you run. So this is my body. What are you, a size 49? Dinosaur. Anyways, but then, and I'm literally trying on things for him and like being like whatever do you like it? I ended up being like oh I have to buy stuff now like I'm in it now he kept bringing me stuff I walked out there with four items this is a used thrift shop though right? Oh yeah well I just didn't know people do like cool like fashion shows You know, I mean like try things on all that. So, um, well they don't but like he was just I Think he was just like knew I was a sucker or maybe he's don't good

Starting point is 00:22:55 Like you look sickening At the end here's you know where Okay, well not okay, first of all, like, he never asked for my number or anything to preface anything. But so he definitely is gay for sure, whatever. But he, then he starts telling me about how he does Muay Thai. And then his co-worker was like, oh, look at him trying to flex, which you wouldn't say that. Unless he thought you were. if he was gay right?

Starting point is 00:23:27 Smoking I actually do think that And then you and then he left me in a brass bar It's not the worst piece of evidence in a vacuum yeah, but everything else all the other like if he hadn't said earlier Hey, who's that guy Mike? I want to suck his dick Then it would be like, all right, he might be straight. You look sickening in a lot. Sickening's a pretty, that's a smoking gun. You actually said the word sickening?

Starting point is 00:23:52 I realized, remember when I was saying sickening in LA a lot? Me, bitches say? I realized I was picking it up from him, because he does say sickening a lot. That's a good thing. Yeah, you have a gay best friend. Sorry, it's not a gay. I'm not stalking a guy.

Starting point is 00:24:05 I am just picking up on his vocabulary because I force myself to pee around him so much. I was in there for a knock during two hours. Do you know his name? Yeah. OK. I was going to say, if you know his speech patterns, but we don't even know this guy's name yet.

Starting point is 00:24:19 Also, I looked up his Instagram. He's like, he actually is. Oh, let's see this guy. He's actually a full model. So it's like, oh, I didn't realize you had it like that. He's like he actually is now. Let's see this guy. He's like actually like a full model Oh, I didn't realize like you had it like that. What's his name? No Was it type it in? Oh, yeah, okay. I Don't actually know his last name right now. This is gonna you guys aren't gonna believe it, but

Starting point is 00:24:45 Do you have any No, I'm going out. I don't remember that game, dude. No, no. You just sucked my dick. That was it. We're not dating. We just hooked up once. If you, Kevin, if you so much as accidentally like a photo, I will kill myself. Kevin, and that's also like, don't be funny about it. Like don't like go, yeah. Good looking guy. But also like I'm also realizing like, but okay, sorry, I'm jumping around.

Starting point is 00:25:19 Having myself a gay, like he was like a personal shopper for me, that's better than having like, you know a guy for sure Better like happiness Is like a model the Artsy guy so he might be if I had to put money on it. I would say he is not gay Really? Okay. Well now that I see all these modeling pics. No, no, no. Go to, okay this is gonna sound creepy, go to Tagged Photos Hub and then scroll down at least like five scrolls. You really did. Jackie.

Starting point is 00:25:54 You mean go to these? Yeah, go to that and then just, well I was just curious and I was like, okay and then you have to find like now he's wearing like dresses and stuff like he's like full like. That's disappointing like yeah that's you know I've only seen the one picture I'm not swayed yet like that could either to me that could be like you're just artsy model or what about this one you're gay that looks pretty gay I mean he's wearing girls clothes basically it's tough I'd put those clothes on for 50 bucks like someone's like y'all put this on I don't think you'd put this on for 50 bucks a blast with the hole cut out in the middle. 50 bucks.

Starting point is 00:26:48 John does a lot for 50 bucks. By the way, handsome guy. He's certainly not ugly, but he's not my type. Not at all. You know what he is? He's like a bootleg prison break. Guy from Prison Break. What's that guy's name? You know what I'm talking about're talking about girls loved him it's more like he's not like rearranged your goddamn life hot the way you are yeah I feel like I'm like I

Starting point is 00:27:11 again obviously he's certainly not an ugly person but yeah this guy was a lot hotter in my head yeah and not what I was expecting at all I don't know I maybe I just don't know Jackie's type no no and he's like really he's actually the opposite of my type I think those will intrigue me so much was I was like, oh the artsy type I never go for the artsy type. He looks a little better with hair. I never go for the gay guys and women Now we're scrolling back too far like okay. Yeah like Can I follow no he's got thousands of followers. Yeah. I'm gonna DM him.

Starting point is 00:27:47 Kevin? He grabbed me. The dinosaur claw. This really cool guy. I mean now I want Pavs to go back in there. I want to just find out whether this guy, because here's the thing. what I wear Mike yeah yeah you should go in it we should put a wire on because I want to see if you walk in and

Starting point is 00:28:12 he's just like you're so hot can I get your number fine whatever but what if he's just like yo you what the fuck yeah you can homie yeah you want to go like fuck chicks together like I'm straight, let's go bang girls. Come on, Jackie. Me and you, two man, let's go. Like, that would be even crazier if you just, like, if you just met a guy at a store, this is like, I love you man type shit, you know?

Starting point is 00:28:37 And he's just like, you are so cool, I wanna hang out with you. You know what we were talking about? We were just talking about clothes. We were talking about dunking, because we both could dunk. We were talking about basketball. We were talking about dunking, because we both could dunk. We were talking about basketball. We were talking more about clothes, music.

Starting point is 00:28:49 All the shit. Here's my question. Just two straight guys hanging out with some old dunking. Do you think that he thinks you're gay? Because you kind of, I mean, the dunking thing is a little bit of a straight guy combo, but the rest is pretty artsy. You're filming, you're talking clothes.

Starting point is 00:29:06 It's a possibility because that day I was put on ironing duty. So I was kind of ironing clothes in the back the whole time. Just like a bitch. Like a gay woman. You know, just hanging out, ironing clothes, talking dunking. As the fellas do. You know how the boys go? This would honestly be straight up an an episode of Seinfeld.

Starting point is 00:29:26 Where they're like, well now he thinks you're gay. You're ironing and talking about this. All my buddies that day, they were doing a thing where they were dressing like girls. And they were coming up to me asking how to walk in a room. So then we were glowing guys. There was a big party where we were having anal sex today. It was a really gay day. Gay day 2020 con. Can't get this collar to sit.

Starting point is 00:29:48 The way the guy ironed was so cool man. Do you have any starch? Maybe we should both follow him and see who he interacts with. Not a bad idea. Let's do that right now. Both of you guys follow him. Pull it up. This is strictly for, oh my god, this is just like, what's it called?

Starting point is 00:30:08 And I'll do it too. No. No. This is, what's it called? Kevin's like, I'll investigate this hot cake guy. By the way, I mean, good for him that, like, I mean, this business looks like it's thriving. Yeah, I know.

Starting point is 00:30:22 It's got multiple locations. Journalism. That's what this is. This is it's thriving. Yeah, I know. It's got multiple locations. Journalism, that's what this is. This is strictly for journalism. Yeah. Okay. Three, two, one. Wait, no, no, no, Kevin, you're not following. I'm not gonna follow. Let's see, what's the app?

Starting point is 00:30:35 Oh. The. Oh, let me just. Three, two, one. I guess it wouldn't be that weird. He also has enough followers that like you probably won't notice. Yeah Okay, three two one go He's gonna go this gay guy followed me a millisecond before that ugly broad My favorite like inside joke with myself, which is not like funny at all.

Starting point is 00:31:06 But whenever I fall somebody I'm like waiting for a respond, a fall back. I go, does the queen respond? And then every time I open my thing, I was just like, does the queen respond? It's just like, what is that from? It's just like what people say. I don't know. But then I just like, whenever I was like, like I was, I had followed like hubs at one point and I go does the Queen respond? Alright okay now we wait now wait now I'm so nervous what if he follows you back and not me? That's gonna be funny. That's for sure happening. Yeah I think you guys should all both DM him at the same time too.

Starting point is 00:31:38 Like hey what's up man it's the cool dude from the other day and you need to be like it's me. He also. Sickening dinosaur. He also, so I had brought up, I was like, you remember you had brought up the two jackets that I had, whatever. I had brought up one of the jackets, I was like, by the way, like, I get compliments on it all the time. He was like, to be honest, I don't remember the jacket.

Starting point is 00:31:56 But! This man actively is forgetting her as much as humanly possible. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then telling her right to her face. I don't know who you are, I don't know what you bought, I only remember your cool friend. No, here's what, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:32:08 Here's what I think happened though. I think he was so taken aback by my beauty that he wasn't even focusing on the jacket. Starting the article for 12 days. It's a logical thing. Yeah. How did you look that day when you went in? So the first two days, bad.

Starting point is 00:32:22 Like pretty much as bad as it gets. But then, oh, I saw I ran into my ex the other day looking. Oh, pool table's here. Looking actually the sweatiest I've ever looked in my entire life. I'm not kidding, like I was like, I had the thought right before I said, if I run into someone right now, like that's,

Starting point is 00:32:42 God save me. Were you sweaty like, after the gym sweaty or like you were so? Or you were disheveled and? It was sweaty. It was like, I haven't washed my hair in four days, but I was kind of like, and then also I had worked out, and I had showered, but I just hadn't washed my hair. It was just, whatever. And then how'd that go?

Starting point is 00:32:57 Was it like a? It was awkward. It was bad. It was good, it was fine. Was his helmet? Yeah. Yeah. Whatever.

Starting point is 00:33:04 It was fine. I don't know why I said that. It doesn't matter. It's getting cut out. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. You know me. You know me so well. So, what else is up?

Starting point is 00:33:15 What's up with you guys? How are you guys? Game time. Game time, game time, game time. The NBA playoffs are here. And the only place to buy hard to get playoff tickets is game time the official They're getting partner of bar stool sports. Sorry. I got the hiccups right now. Um Kind of always have the hiccups. Yeah, like it's just like a thing idea with under the surface It's like half the time. You can't really breathe

Starting point is 00:33:39 I'm like, I'm like a French pit bull French football French Bulldog Anything French they suck at I think it's like all kinds of, you know. Anything French. They suck at breathing. It's all nasal. Mm. What's up? That's a good point, yeah.

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Starting point is 00:35:22 Game Time. I forgot to say during master's talk, the, do you think the masters, I thought this yesterday, do you think the masters every year is the highest per capita sunburns on screen during broadcast? I thought you were going to say like whitest event ever, but that kind of goes hand in hand. It's extremely white white start of spring So people are forgetting about the Sun. Yep. No, you don't still cold enough that you're not like, you know Dude when they run some block they were showing the crowd shots by Sunday in 17 18 yesterday

Starting point is 00:35:55 I was like everyone looks like the Kool-Aid man Everyone is red as can fucking be obviously the golfers get are always dealing with like that hat. Yeah, that's not like I mean like beat red face. It's just sweaty I think I Said that that was enough of a meltdown even though he won. I think Roy McElroy will think about that for the rest of his life. What do you think? Do you think him winning the Masters just erases all that? Yes.

Starting point is 00:36:30 I think it erases it for everyone else. I think that every single time he has a three foot putt that will run through his mind. I think that was a life altering event. Win or lose. I think I disagree. I think he'll think about it, but he'll think about it. You can do this. And I guess that's the difference.

Starting point is 00:36:49 Yeah, I guess. And that's probably why he can go step up and do it like a hole later. But even when good things would happen to me, I would be like, I would never step up again and be like, you can do this. You might blow this up for the rest of my life. That was such a like, I think that was such a choke. Or the monkey on his back.

Starting point is 00:37:11 Like you could see that he like hit it too soft. You know what I mean? It was like right off the club. Oh, no. I will say that when he hit the second one, it was like six inches when he hit the second one. I was like, he's got this. Yeah yeah I thought he was gonna miss again that was that one was close enough that it was I do think a little bit of like regardless of your choke I

Starting point is 00:37:34 can't believe this is the same fucking guy who was stealing fucking phones from hecklers see I up and wins the Masters like that I didn't know people don't like Roy I fucking love Roy I'm a humongous Roy McEl that. I didn't know people don't like Rory. I fucking love Rory. I'm a Humongous Roy McIlroy fan. I didn't know that there was like I Seen the phone thing, but I didn't realize it was a big big thing. I'd kind of just forgotten about it I was I was rooting for my Rory. I think most people were still no I feel like people I think rooting for I think they regard regard him as a choker, but they want him to win. Okay.

Starting point is 00:38:07 I think, I don't know, I'm not totally plugged in, but I don't think it was like when Bryson DeChambeau was like hated, you know, people were like against him. That's how I saw this back. Patrick Reed, right, people don't like him. I saw this as good versus evil. Like, Rory, I like Rory, I fucking hate Bryson. That was. Yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:38:23 But Bryson has became, he went from probably the least liked golfer to probably top. He's liked now? Oh yeah. He's beloved. Bro, a all time PR case. It's crazy. He did a phenomenal job of just like,

Starting point is 00:38:37 I don't know which one's the act, but he just completely changed. He's like mixing it up with the fans, he's doing social media, He's being like normal regular guy He went from like, you know, the guy was I honestly think it was when he got in a fight with the rope Remember that she remember what remember when he yes like he was so pathetic Because he it's just an embarrassing thing happened to him and rather than being like, oh my god I was crazy that rope like hit me in the head

Starting point is 00:39:00 He acted like it was everyone else's fault and he like took a knee and everyone was like Catering to him and I think he might have looked at that and been like, I'm ridiculous. It was that absurd. And then he started like he just does all like the he's like signing autographs and taking pictures. Great TikToks. Yeah, he's a great social media guy. Did the hit over the house thing.

Starting point is 00:39:17 But yeah, he's like loved now. They had a little I like Bryson. I was very hardly very harshly rooting for Rory. And every time Bryson failed, I'd go, ha, fuck you like Bryson. I was very hardly, very harshly rooting for Rory and every time Bryson failed, I'd go, ha, fuck you, Bryson. Ha, ha, ha. The big talk afterwards with Bryson was that he was saying how Rory did not talk to him at all.

Starting point is 00:39:36 Yeah, they don't like each other. Yeah, I was gonna say like that. Why would they talk? Yeah, I don't, I don't, I don't have a problem with that. No. Can you imagine a fucking Warriors Lakers game and Steph afterwards like, I don't have a problem with that. No. Like, can you imagine a fucking Warriors Lakers game and Steph afterwards like, I don't know, LeBron was kind of being a jerk during the game. Well, I think that's like that's a bad example, because those guys are like

Starting point is 00:39:55 friendly even when they're playing. You know what I mean? I don't think they are. I think they're probably after they play. Maybe not during, but like they're also not like. I think they're friends, but I think when you're playing, you're fucking playing. I think it's the equivalent of like, like not saying what's up to each other before the tip Off you know what I mean?

Starting point is 00:40:09 You might not talk at all during around. I think that's totally fair. I think that I think I think athletes do that when like they get traded It's not like you don't go pop into the other team's locker room before the game and like hang out the boys like good We're fucking playing. I also think that that golf lends itself it's like you're playing you're like playing a game of basketball there's like it's active it's it's there's a lot of downtime where you can just be like don't in the course like hey what's up man well my point is you have to actively do that as opposed to you know what I mean yeah he's making a choice to not talk to you on purpose as opposed to we just didn't talk today it's like like, no, you were not talking on purpose.

Starting point is 00:40:45 Which is not what I would do. I would be like more laughing and like, probably be more interactive, but it's a completely fair response. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. To be like, I'm not fucking talking to you, I'm playing with you. This way or that way, yeah.

Starting point is 00:40:59 Yeah, the, the career grand slam is no joke, man. You gotta get in with a golfer, Jackie. That's what you gotta get. You said this before. I've said this before, yeah. You know who Jackie should hook up with? That ghost golfer guy. You know what I'm talking about?

Starting point is 00:41:13 The guy who he played this weekend. When the cut is uneven, they have a guy just play. And he's good enough to play Augusta. And actually I think the guy relatively recently just retired and there's a new one but the old guy was like good enough that pros would be like I'm not playing with that guy really because he's like Sergio Garcia likes it yeah yeah he'll like outplay you and then it's like you're this talk of the town of being the guy who's getting out

Starting point is 00:41:36 played yeah but he's like so he's like this pseudo professional who plays like at the Masters you should date that guy I don's he going? I don't know. I don't think so. I think he's like an old man. I don't know if I'm like, um, if I have my shit together enough to date a golfer. You think you gotta be like a... I know you guys probably see me as like I have it all together. Devin Ayres, Suave. Yeah. But behind closed doors. Behind closed doors, exactly. What did you say? I said anyone who watches that episode, they've seen it. She's the girl Jackie walks in the room and everybody just

Starting point is 00:42:08 like, I wish I was her. She's just so. I carry myself with such poise. You're basically like one of the royals. Yeah, yeah. That's kind of what they say about me a lot. But so maybe I should date a golfer, but I just don't know if that's really in the cards for me. I feel like the second thing is-

Starting point is 00:42:25 Well not with that attitude, it's not. You know the girls who get the golfers or the girls who are just like, yeah. All these men want to play. Yeah, it's the really put together ones like Elan. Who's Elan? She just beats the shit out of the Cadillac Escalade. I think that- Hit him in the head with the golf club.

Starting point is 00:42:42 Almost attempted murder. If you were to rank all, like, basketball sports, people who know sports, I think it would probably be dead loss golf club. You were to make attempted murder all like basketball sports people who know sports I think I'm probably dead loss. No, wait, what's that? No people who knows I think you know more than probably Caroline Yeah, I would have to guess Caroline knows nothing. Yeah, I think you know I'd say no more than sass. No How about um... Caroline and I are probably the same. You know who knows a lot?

Starting point is 00:43:11 Kelly. Geeks. Yeah. Like she'll drop a sports reference because she's just around us all the time. I don't even think she knows what it is, but she knows the same. You know what I mean?

Starting point is 00:43:19 Well it's like, I mean I can drop like if anybody I meet is like a Mets fan. Like, oh. Like that sucks for you. Goddamn Jets, huh? You did know, there was a couple of years there. You probably knew a lot about the Jets. Oh my God. You're so right.

Starting point is 00:43:35 Guys, it was so crazy that I like was a sports commentator for a little bit. Award winning sports producer. Yeah, exactly. Did you hit on guys? What? Were you using that to hit on guys back in the day? No, I'm pretty like I don't want to be What's girl? I don't want to be like fake about that. Sometimes I think like it's I can't like say a work of art sports And then also be like talking sports. Yeah, then that's just like the worst

Starting point is 00:44:01 Like I don't even try and like keep up because I'm just like, I don't wanna be like. I'm with that. If you like sports, fine, but I think there's nothing worse than pretending you like sports. Yeah. It's insane. Yeah. If you like it, you like it, but. There's nothing worse than pretending like anything.

Starting point is 00:44:14 Yeah, right, right. I've been watching Southern Charm and I need somebody to start that with me. Kevin, I'm looking at you so that I can talk about it with somebody. I think. You're kind of like filled, I guess this is like your thing now. You can't really like to keep watching but Did you watch last of us?

Starting point is 00:44:30 Do you watch last of us? Yes, but I did not know that that was on actually technically It was I knew it was coming and know that that was last night last yeah Yeah, give you PTSD from your boyfriend who pretended to be yeah, all right fuck yeah That's one of the lamest things ever. He's not my boyfriend, first of all. That was so, he's a son. That's almost worse. That means you were actively choosing to hang out with him. If you like, fall in love with someone

Starting point is 00:44:55 and then they do like dumb shit, it's like, ah, I don't know, they pretend to be zombies every Sunday night, but he's really like, I love him. I think I've been pretty open. It's like, why are you hanging out with that guy then? That was a little point in my life. I've been pretty open about that. that knows a little point my life? He was a felon who also pretended to be a zombie right yeah, I took him to drugs

Starting point is 00:45:13 It sounds like the man He's probably a really cool guy He don't What would you think last was um I think They're gonna run into some trouble. I think with who they cast Ellie as That's Caitlin Devers. Uh is that the girl from Game of Thrones like the main girl But the main girl Ellie I Don't know who the main girl is the middle the bad girl in this episode

Starting point is 00:45:45 recent episode Like the main girl in The Last of Us, Ellie. Oh, Bella Ramsey. Yes. OK, Caitlin Devers is like the other one. The one who's like watching, like looming over the city at the end. Yes. I think in

Starting point is 00:45:58 the video game, in the world we're heading into. Ellie is like the man. She like runs shit. She becomes like like in the first one, Ellie is like the man. She like runs shit. She becomes like, like in the first one, Joel is like protecting her and she's kind of like this like dead weight, you know what I mean?

Starting point is 00:46:12 And in the second, in the video game, she becomes like the hunter. She's like the bad ass. She's, she's, and I just feel like Bella Ramsey still is giving like little girl vibes to me. And I, so I don't know if she'll be able to pull off what, but also the TV shows might just be different. You know what I mean?

Starting point is 00:46:28 But I'm, I don't know what they're going to do. Cause without spoiling things, like there's some major changes in the video game that is like a TV show probably wouldn't want to do. So I don't know how they're going to have to deviate probably a little bit from the game. I don't, I kind of see it, but there's a big movement. I think of people are gonna be like we don't like Bella Ramsey I think last night was

Starting point is 00:46:53 Fine, I don't know. I didn't think it was like a solid It's sometimes a premiere can kind of go one of two ways It can either be like holy shit, or it's just like yeah, we're getting we're getting back. Yeah Yeah, I think I was like we're just getting back things. Why don't you think that they'll like her? Like, what about? I think she still looks like, it's kind of like weird little girl, little kid. Is she supposed to be like?

Starting point is 00:47:13 Yeah, she kind of grows up in the second one and is like fucking shit up, and I just don't know if it's gonna be believable of that girl, like fucking shit up, you know? But I I Think it's gonna be good chill. Yeah. Yeah, I had forgotten till I watch your recap. I'd forgotten like a lot of it I'd forgotten basically everything except Nick Hoffman was gay. Yeah Big stick out like it's funny cuz that was such a big like in the game He's an important character, but not really like it's just like one chapter the game keep it moving

Starting point is 00:47:43 They made it like such a profound thing in the game, he's an important character, but not really, like it's just like one chapter of the game and they keep it moving. They made it like such a profound thing in the show. But I don't think it was just like, I haven't played the game so I don't know, but like, I think it was the performances that made it like so like, whoa, it was just an episode of TV. It was just as important as every other episode. True, true. But they did it so well.

Starting point is 00:48:01 They just did it so well. So last night was either 100% from the video game, like the exact shots, scenes, dialogue, everything. There was multiple times I was like, did that, played that, remember that level, remember that chapter. So it was either 100% from the game or they completely deviated. Like Catherine O'Hara's character is not in it. Joel never killed a guy named Eugene. But Catherine O'Hara's character is not in it. Joel never killed a guy named Eugene. But Catherine O'Hara's character is just like a storyteller. Right. I think so. I think it's a good device for Pedro Pascal to like, you know,

Starting point is 00:48:32 so that that like Eugene is in the game, but he's just like a guy. And in this, in this version, he murdered this guy because he had to, and there's this therapist that's fucked up. I was like, who the fuck is Eugene? Yeah. Yeah. They think they needed to establish that a little because I was going, I remember Eugene. I don't remember. Joel, they almost like blended things too much. Yeah, it should just be.

Starting point is 00:48:51 I mean, I'm sure we'll learn more about it. But I think Catherine O'Hara's character is a three episode arc, so she's like in it, but not full time. Was not in the game. And then the thing where you see the fungus in the pipes. Yes. That's not in the game. So I think that's going to be see the fungus in the pipes, that's not in the game. So I think that's gonna be the way

Starting point is 00:49:06 that the zombies communicate or go through the town. So they have a couple, so a lot of it's from the video game, and then a couple things that are big, what seem to be big plot points or characters that are totally new, which I think is probably a good way to do it. Give like, there was scenes, I was like,

Starting point is 00:49:20 oh, I remember learning, they train you how to use the sniper rifle, exactly how Ellie was shooting them at the episode. I was like, oh, that was cool. But then also it's like, oh, I remember learning like they train you how to use the sniper rifle, like exactly how Ellie was shooting them at the episode. Oh, that was cool. And then, but then also it's like, we need to make sure this is a good TV show. And so we need a character for Pedro Pascal to like work with. Yeah, here you go. So I think it's good to like give the people what they want. If you watch the video game, but then also we have to make a good season. It is funny that we're in a time that like the book is better.

Starting point is 00:49:43 People are going to become the video game. Yeah, I know, I know, I know. Well, the thing about video games, bro, are like, some of these games, I mean, the Last of Us, the video game, is probably better than the television show. I mean, it's like an 80-hour epic tale, you know? Is it the best one, you think?

Starting point is 00:50:02 Like, the best story line? It's, a lot of people would say that yes. I do you guys think okay I feel like the last episode or last season episode 3 or episode 5 whatever the one that was like different setting and it was like everyone's like this is a masterpiece. The one they got from it. Yeah I feel like that kicked off like a emphasis on individual episodes. I do I do like when when shows have those little deviations as long as they're good, right? If you have a deviation that stinks, it's like okay I didn't get any of my characters any of the storyline like nothing. You know, I mean like what do we wait?

Starting point is 00:50:37 You know, we wait all week and then you get an episode that nothing to do blessing with like anything but when they're good They're yeah. Yeah, like in severance that when they had the like off Even like even if it's not a full episode They did it on paradise where it was like just a little detour back to like the 60s when that guy Was flicking the light and like learn I think that's almost to the sign of like a good show is they're like we're gonna invest some time and money in like another Cast another wardrobe, another set to tell the story and then we'll come back.

Starting point is 00:51:06 You know? Because it probably costs a little more money and takes some extra time to do that, but it like, if you do it right, it kind of nails it. Like I feel like even like since then, I had never heard about people talking about like the specific directors for each episode and all that. And I feel like that kind of kicked off a new.

Starting point is 00:51:20 Yeah, people get, yeah. I mean, that's also just television in general has been that way for the last probably decade or so where it's like you get credit almost for being a director of an episode or a writer of a season or whatever because It also goes back to True Detective with like, I was gonna say, Fuku-Jama, like I'm sure there are guys Fuku-Jama was a guy like you would never know that guy's name. I call him Casey, I think it's Carrie Fuku-Jama is Carrie I think so but the fact that we even like know his name

Starting point is 00:51:48 Yeah, it's something like Prior television I think you'd have to be a real TV nerd to know it and then it became like but I wonder if 20 Years before that people were like that bash episode like me, but I don't that's what I mean I don't know I mean yeah, maybe not, but I feel like we know Like true detective was kind of like as soon as Fukujama Whatever, I guess I don't know his name that well, so maybe I should shut up I know it's CF for his initials, but I think he like when True Detective

Starting point is 00:52:14 Started to suck it was like he was no longer around a lot of people that was why people knew his name They were like oh you need him back. You know I remember writing a paper in college that Sharp objects is one of the first shows because like before Streaming obviously there were ads everywhere and so in order to like keep people hooked for ads you have to have like a big like some kind of like jump or cliffhanger at the end before every

Starting point is 00:52:42 commercial break and so it like speeds up the storyline a lot because it's like you're like oh we got like seven minutes you need like a thing yeah exactly but like Sharp Objects was the first or one of the first ones where they were like we're taking this slow like each episode is gonna be like it's well obviously like they say that's the one with Amy Adams yeah I was gonna say I hate that job I remember being like this show is too slow so maybe I'm just maybe I was from an era of commercials and all that shit. But it is true, it's like Grey's Anatomy or like all the like hospital shows would be like,

Starting point is 00:53:10 and then he almost, and then you know. Yeah. Dude, the show with, I brought it up a couple weeks ago, the show with Meredith Grey, where it's the orphan who's there, is, it's gotta be like a comedy. Like there's no way that people who made that show were not like laughing while they made it.

Starting point is 00:53:30 It's ridiculous. They just have this little dwarf woman like, it's, I almost want you guys to watch it just, it's not a good show, but just watch it for the absurdity of it all. I can't believe it's on Hulu. It's literally, it's a lifetime show that somehow masqueraded its way into like,

Starting point is 00:53:51 watch this new streaming show. It sucks so fucking bad. What do you think that versus like, I feel like I think of Manifest as being one of those. Yeah, Manifest was. It just completely got off the rails. Oh my God, Manifest was the worst show that I could not stop watching.

Starting point is 00:54:04 I was like, the call calling so I gotta keep watching That was that was the that was a definition of a great idea that just kept carrying like like that Just the concept is awesome And then every episode was so fucking bad and so goddamn stupid, and I just could not stop watching I feel like so many shows it's like the first season normal season second season somebody dies third season something comes back to life Fourth season they're really like scrambling and now we have superpowers That's why it really is The best shows are the ones that are written like start to finish and they just do that

Starting point is 00:54:37 Yeah, because once you get caught up with like the ratings or the advertising or the signups like we can't stop this We need like we need seasons five six seven and eight. It ups like we can't stop this. We need like we need season five, six, seven and eight. It's like we were going to stop at four. You want me to go? Like you got to just start making shit up. You know, once again, the NBA once again. Nope. You got it.

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Starting point is 00:58:36 credit terms at JK PT co-slash draw sponsored by Jack pocket based on 2024 iOS download data collected by sensor tower. Did you guys watch Black Mirror? I watched some of them. I watched, what did I watch? Why can't I remember them now? I watched like the first couple. What were they about again? The first one was about ads, about like

Starting point is 00:58:56 Oh yeah, Rashida Jones getting, yeah that was an interesting one. The second one was about that girl that came back for revenge for her high school bully That was wild but that was like too silly You know, I mean was like early that one was utterly ridiculous, right? I would say this one of the worst episodes of television I've ever seen it was like It's too like early on black mirror is like what if you got an uber rating for like your social behavior? Yeah, that's not that crazy. Like they do that in China.

Starting point is 00:59:26 This was like, what if a girl had a computer mainframe in the basement of her house that can control your reality? It was just like a magic. All the superpowers in the world just goes out there. Yeah, she basically had superpowers like a fucking Marvel character where it was like, she was getting revenge on everyone in high school who bullied her by showing up in their life and then mentally torturing them because they would just make it,

Starting point is 00:59:52 make reality look like it was like who drank my milk from the fridge? And she was like, it wasn't me. And then she just changes reality said everyone thinks the girl did. She's like, what? I didn't do that. What do you mean? And everyone's like, we have footage of you. That part could be interesting where it's like, imagine if you felt like you were going absolutely crazy. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:00:10 But it's, and then I was like, how- It's a gaslighting episode. It's like- I thought it was an AI episode the whole time. Yeah. I was like, I'm kinda liking this. And then it was just like, I have this magical necklace that I can, but it is, it like, it just,

Starting point is 01:00:22 the idea of like, what if you could snap your fingers and gaslight someone, I think is a good concept, right now, especially gaslighting became so popular. It's just the way they decided to do it, was like, she's magic. It's like, wow, that's not that great. But the Rashida Jones one was interesting. It was like, she dies, she gets in a car accident,

Starting point is 01:00:39 or no, she has an aneurysm or something like that. She's never gonna wake up. And they're like, we have this new technology where we can save her. But you basically have to pay to keep your brain going every month. And so he's like, whatever. They're very poor, but he's like, whatever, we'll do it.

Starting point is 01:00:54 And then all of a sudden she starts doing ad reads. She's like at school. And whatever the kids are talking about, she's like, you can get yourself some new textbooks. And she doesn't remember it happening. And people, they go back to the place and they're like, my wife is doing ad reads. I don't know where like, what the fuck?

Starting point is 01:01:10 And she's like, fights with energy trick. He just starts doing it. But they're like, oh, yeah, and that's because there's a new plan. There's there's RiverMind Plus. You're now on RiverMind Regular, so you get ads. So you have to upgrade if you don't want ads. And they just keep charging more and more money. So it's a commentary on that.

Starting point is 01:01:30 But she goes from like... Available on Netflix. Oh, hilarious. Netflix did it. It's so funny that Netflix did it. It's exactly like their model. I think Black Mirror's at a point there they're commenting on some things that are prevalent cast lighting and

Starting point is 01:01:49 Tears pay subscription tears, but they've got to deliver it in a way that they haven't done before yet And that's getting pretty hard. You know it's like we've done pretty much everything, but those are always good I like episodes It's very rare nowadays nowadays that I'm watching something where I can just watch one episode Kind of pay attention kind of of not, doesn't matter. Get the premise. Yeah, so everything else is like, you're in for the long haul now.

Starting point is 01:02:10 Watch TV is like tough these days. You gotta really commit to it. It's either reality shit or something like Black Mirror where it's like one-offs that you can kind of just enjoy. The top five most annoying, or top three most annoying places for ads. I think number one any kind of games all right we mean different games what you we mean

Starting point is 01:02:30 different games but I was gonna agree with you playing a game like 2048 or something like that mmm I've become a real old man going to games oh like you don't like the billboards everywhere and shit is not even the billboards oh yeah like like our seven any stretch is sponsored by every finder and like look I still go to games and all that stuff. It's not like it deters me, but when I'm there I'm like, I mean come on guys like I don't even care. It's just like this is lame, isn't it? Yeah, like yeah, just do this How much is Sal's pizza paying for this fucking ticket upgrade that like how much do they get I don't know

Starting point is 01:03:09 I got you know what it makes you realize though is just how much much like they're making money off of every single thing. Yeah They've got to just be You know what I was thinking the other day. I think I think there was a little bit of a discourse about this on the NBA thinking the other day? I think there was a little bit of a discourse about this on the NBA. Oh no, it was NIL. Somebody was saying that there's kids in college asking for like four or five hundred thousand dollars and he's like, you're bad. You're not good at basketball. So that's different. I was thinking about NBA players. What is the league minimum in the NBA? Do you know? Can you look that up? I feel like if you make it to the NBA, you should be making like millions of dollars, no matter what I think there's only

Starting point is 01:03:46 Like 400 people in the world to make it. You know what I mean one point five one point two All right, so that's I guess that is pretty good. I thought there was like 500,000 bucks You could be like a veteran minimum of like half a million and it's like I was just thinking about that because like the NBA must make a trillion dollars yeah, and Like all right, I don't get a lot of time, but I'm still like practicing with the greatest in the world. I'm still part of the, there's only 30 organizations that do this. You know, like, yeah, like, like you're so. So yeah, okay, by the time you're like a five year vet, you're making money. Okay, so I guess they do, they do pay them enough. But I was just thinking about how much like if you if you've made it in that field the fact that there are just like influencers who can make the same as like an NBA player is crazy to me yeah but that I mean it's the same thing as being like well teachers are underpaid like you get paid what the market

Starting point is 01:04:40 decides what you are yeah you're right you're right and like it's all think you know going into it. I was reading a thing the other day about the, I guess there was some fucking study, I don't know, that said that, let's make up an outrageous number. 70% of kids these days want to be influenced when they grow up. It's probably accurate.

Starting point is 01:04:59 And the, well, that's funny. The explanation was at first saying, first of all, it's fucking obviously not accurate that seven in 10 kids wanna be influencers. I'm sure there's been an uptick in children who wanna be influencers one day, it's not seven out of 10 kids. And the other thing was like, and like no fucking shit they want to be, like the American dream appears to be dead like no one is happy the only people they see are happy are influencers on the internet they're too

Starting point is 01:05:30 young to realize it's all fake yeah no kidding that's what they want to be when they grow up they want to be happy and they want to make money yeah it's not it's not the worst that's just what they see the version of it yeah it's like when I saw the gas man when I was a kid yeah the guy pumping gas was holding a wad of cash like I want to be that guy yeah right you know what I saw the gas man when I was a kid. Yeah, the guy pumping gas was holding a lot of cash I was like, I want to be that guy. Yeah, yeah, right You know what I saw? This dude who owns like a warehouse of like props and he just like he's like I sell 50 pound it looks like 50 pound dumbbells that are just like five pounds and I sell them to people and they just do their workout

Starting point is 01:06:00 It's like oh You can't trust anything. But like also, what does that even mean? Like they do their workout. They look at me lifting 50 pound weights and it's just it's not 50 pounds. But if you can only lift five, it looks not going to look like you can lift. Like your arm doesn't look like an arm that can move 50 pounds. I mean, I guess you got to be in somewhat of shape to. Yeah. You know what I mean?

Starting point is 01:06:21 I guess you can be. You might as well just lift a 50 pound weight. I think, yeah, like if I all of a sudden was lifting a hundred to, you know what I mean? I guess you can be. You might as well just lift a 50 pound dumbbell. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think, yeah, like if I all of a sudden was lifting a 100 pound dumbbell, it would look ridiculous. But if I was in some semblance of shape, you know, if I had like the vanity muscles.

Starting point is 01:06:36 There are so many people who are just actually strong. You gotta be a hell of a tricker. There's, it's all on. Yeah, but you know what? It's the same thing as the people who rent that private jet thing, it's like, people know you don't have a private jet, but you convince a whole bunch of people you do. You know what I mean?

Starting point is 01:06:53 But I think it's easier to believe, like, wow, I don't know what kind of money they're making behind the scenes, versus like, I see your arm, I see the weight you're lifting, but that doesn't make any sense. I don't know, I mean, you never, you don't have to look a certain way to be able to lift a any sense I don't know I mean you never you don't have to look a certain way to be able to lift a certain weight you know I mean you don't have to but generally yeah there's at least like there's a bar

Starting point is 01:07:12 you're like okay you look like this you can you should be you look like that you can move that kind of weight like right if will ferrell stand there going thousand one thousand two thousand curls with that yeah but it just makes you realize that like you know you could just fake whatever the fuck you want Cuz you're probably right, but there's probably a bunch of people who do Right, but but what I'm saying like there are so many yeah actually talented influencers. Yeah can and Who look the part and all that like I don't know if it was fed to you Maybe you'd get on it, but like I feel like pretty quickly you'd go this guy can't really know what you're talking Yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't know if it was fed to you, maybe you'd get on it But like I feel like pretty quickly you'd go this guy can't know what you're talking. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah I don't know about talking about there's I feel like the majority people who talk don't know what the fuck you're talking

Starting point is 01:07:53 Any time I don't know if it was just cuz like I grew up near Silicon Valley, but like growing up there But like when I like was growing up they were like if you become an engineer you will be set for life. Like if you study engineering you will be set for life. Was that pushed down your list? No not engineering. But I feel like that's- But you're also a girl.

Starting point is 01:08:14 Because that like women in STEM was a big thing for a while. Yeah. Like they were trying to get- Oh did you see Katy Perry? Yeah guys what? Katy Perry's up in space right now. No not right now. She's already back.

Starting point is 01:08:24 She's back already? She was gone for 11 minutes. Yeah. Oh. How did it get, it was just like. It's like that's just not real. I thought she was gonna at least. This is curling 50 pounds with a five-by. See, is what I mean.

Starting point is 01:08:33 You went to space for 11 minutes. Yeah, so they just went. Although, the only thing I will say about that is, it's still no joke to be in a fucking, like blast off, you know what I mean? Oh no, like I don't wanna go on a roller coaster. I'm sure it's very cool. I'd love to do it, oh, no, like I don't want to go on a roller coaster. I'm sure it was on a very cool. I'd love to do it.

Starting point is 01:08:47 It's just like, I don't know. I think, yeah, I went to space. Yeah, I would temper. Also, I feel like the example, it's like studying abroad. And if I was like, I've lived in Spain before. Yeah, I know you have. Right. You were there. I would for sure downplay it.

Starting point is 01:09:04 And I feel like sure downplay it. And I feel like this makes it worse. I feel like this made it like, if I was a chick I'd be like, this looks lame. It made it such a thing of like Gale King and they were like this, this like, it made it sound like it was like this all-star team of like amazing women.

Starting point is 01:09:20 And I was like, oh yeah, these bitches are. We're bringing glam to space. Yeah, that to me felt like not the way to do it. I didn't know they did that, yeah. Yeah, it's like we actually don't need. And like Katy Perry's almost like, I don't know, who is she? But there was an interview with her,

Starting point is 01:09:33 she was like, yeah, I'm so into this stuff. Like, I love STEM and astrology and the stars. It's like, you don't know what the fuck she was like. I love stem and rocket science and astronauts and astrology. It's like, you're just saying words also, gently related to what you're talking about, you know, to your question. It wasn't a thing for us. Like the technology wasn't there.

Starting point is 01:10:00 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like our, at least for me, Like we were told to like learn CAD or like CAD you guys have CAD class no we had it is a Computer art design I think it was mmm. I didn't do it But I mean I did it But I think all my version was that was like lawyer and doctor like if you became a lawyer a doctor here like separate Like a cat with cats in older thing. My buddy's dad was the teacher. No, but I'm just saying, like,

Starting point is 01:10:26 the hard thing of engineering, I feel like for me, I thought of that as like lawyers and doctors. You go to law school, you go to med school, like you become- Well, also like even like, it was like startup culture, like kids in middle school- Computer and design. Computer and design.

Starting point is 01:10:38 Like we had like four kids in middle school who started businesses because it was just- Yeah, we didn't have that around here. I just remember my dad, my buddy's who's a doctor was like do not become a doctor. He was like it does not pay off anymore. It used to be like you go to med school you go there for a billion years but you come out and you make all the money in the world you know whatever and he's like with insurance and everything the way everything's gone it's like it's you know of course you're a

Starting point is 01:11:01 doctor you do well but it's not worth you know ten years of school and like half a million dollars of debt Yeah, so only not nothing is if you don't like it Yeah, if you're not like having fun nothing, but I do I do think that like lawyer doctor even MBAs for a while We're like if you if you put in that work, you're gonna get a job that like you get it you make the return Yeah and I don't even know that's but that's only worth it if like you get, you make the return. And I don't even know that's.

Starting point is 01:11:23 But that's only worth it if like, it's kind of what we were saying about something recently where it's like, it's only worth it if what you want out of life is money. If you want fun, it's not smart to go into a field for money. Like, what did I hear the other day? Someone from, some show I was watching,

Starting point is 01:11:38 the guy had a line where he was just like, yeah, you know, it's perfect for me. It's like somewhere between a hobby and a job. And I was like, that's what everyone should try for. That's it, man. That's it right there. Oh, you know it's perfect for me. It's like somewhere between a hobby and a job, and I was like That's what everyone should try. That's it man. That's it right there That's oh, you know what was curb curb when Larry was talking to his therapist and he's there using that episode Larry fucking hates his therapist because his therapist keeps outing his other clients He's talking to Larry and he's like, I got this client and I won't, I can't tell you his name, obviously. Uh, but he loved hookers and it can only complete

Starting point is 01:12:12 his work if he, if he was having sex with hookers. Now I can't tell you who it is. I will tell you he directed Star Trek, uh, Star Wars. David's like, we'll just say George Lucas. He goes, no, I would never say a name like they said you said everyone knows who directed Star Wars Now I can be frank now, I think you're telling other people about me just don't cares about you He's lying say about George Lucas This is gonna curve but Bob Vox was telling me they met Cheryl at uh At UFC. Oh yeah?

Starting point is 01:12:46 You see her get left hanging by Trump? Which was just like such a, it was just a funny thing. The amount of people who on the one side were like, what a piece of shit he is for leaving her hanging. And then on the other side, the people were like, you didn't watch, 10 minutes later he came back and made a right and shook her hand. And it was like, why do either of you people exist?

Starting point is 01:13:08 It was just a funny thing. She just got left hanging by the president, that's it. And the people were like, didn't you see? You didn't do your research? He went over and shook her hand eventually. I was like, why do you even know that, man? You went and researched whether or not Donald Trump shook Sheryl Hines' hand? What's wrong with you people?

Starting point is 01:13:26 It was just funny. It was just a funny thing man. I was actually saying the other day I think I get left hanging more than anyone in life. Yeah. Yeah, you're a left hanging guy. I get left hanging all the time. Yeah, that might be an accurate statistic. You remember? I feel like I feel like it's like I mean I watch back a lot of it's all the time. It's incessant But you play it off. Well, it's never like Fucking learn how to deal with it, but like I think just cuz I go like that I'm saying quickly like subtle one maybe they don't see people don't see it But it's it's I get hanging left hanging once a week

Starting point is 01:14:03 Yeah, I feel like it's like they gotta almost think that you're about to punch them. You have to make it more, yeah. To the face. I kinda just do these a lot, I was just like that. Yeah, they just don't see you. Yeah, no, I know. But you still have the feeling of being left hanging. You're like a girl, like I'm not trying to put myself out there, I don't wanna get hurt.

Starting point is 01:14:19 It's like almost like a masochistic, like maybe, you know, subtle masochistic. No, I'm like a girl who Who's like I can't be hurt I'll put myself out there sure fucking you know I think the move when you get left hanging is to make a spectacle of getting Left-hanging you did you give it to yourself or you leave it there for like another minute and be like I'm not going until you Know what I mean like almost I like I'll be hanging. I just move it to someone else again But listen here's the deal. I'm getting fucking bang We got a street, you know leaves me hanging a lot the kids Like he gets baseball game. Hey, what's up, man?

Starting point is 01:15:02 Thanks, dude, I Went to see minecraft with Keegan. We had our chicken jockey moment and you get one Yeah, kind of it was like Sunday 11 a.m. It was probably ten people in the whole theater Yeah, but a couple kids were like filming and they were getting all excited Keegan did not want to do it So I embarrassed the fuck Dude you know what dude embarrassing your kids gotta be so much. Oh, it's the best dude Dude, you know what dude embarrassing your kids gotta be so much. Oh, it's the best dude

Starting point is 01:15:27 My dad or walking if we were going to a drive-through Particularly at New York bagel on the corner president haven't followed her mass, but any drive-through he would just karate the whole order Wait, what do you mean? Like like do the moves? Yeah, because he would tell me that there was a camera so they can see it He's like he'd be like you want to know if a couple karate guys and he would be like and we'll do a egg and cheese bagel with a pizza bagel and I would be like I'd be in the car like this is peak dad this is there like he reached the mountain top I'm gonna do karate in the drive-through to embarrass my kids I don't even get it

Starting point is 01:16:13 didn't make any sense I'm definitely doing this now. I'm picking up my kids today, we're going to McDonald's. Can I get a number one Big Mac with a price? What are you doing? It's a thing, it's a thing guys. It's a thing. Only in the drive-thru? Only in drive-thrus. Wow.

Starting point is 01:16:33 That is amazing. That is so fucking stupid, I love it. I would be freaking in the, like all me and all my siblings would be like, Josh me and all my siblings like Man I mean every single day every time I pick up Keegan from school. I'll be like Yeah, playstations playstations broken, It's not gonna work ever again. Every time. You're talking with me. No, it's broken and it's gonna be broken forever.

Starting point is 01:17:10 No one can ever play PlayStation again. He's like, you're lying. I do it every time. It was going to games. As we're walking into security, he'd be like, you have the tickets? Every time. Every time. I'd be like you have the tickets? I'd be like wow! Bro I'm doing this thing with him right now.

Starting point is 01:17:34 So first of all I shouldn't be doing this at all but I let Keegan watch all the 8 mile rap battles. He loves them. They're highly inappropriate. Every time I put them on, you can't use this language. You know that, right? But he loves them. I mean, we watched. I could. I was thinking about making it my niche

Starting point is 01:17:55 in the dozen, the eight mile battles, because I can't imagine something about those. I don't know at this point. We watched it a hundred thousand times. But every single time before we get in the car, he goes, can I watch Eminem? And I pull up Eminem commercials commercials, like the M&M's, every time. And every time. Hand it to him. But now he goes, can I watch M&M?

Starting point is 01:18:15 And I go, yep, here it comes. And he goes, don't do the candy. I'm like, candy. I don't know, I don't do it on purpose. I mean, I definitely do it on purpose. I mean, I definitely do it on purpose. But I had a moment when I was early on fatherhood being like, when do you just become a dad?

Starting point is 01:18:33 And you just kind of do. That is objectively stupid, but I'm going to do it. The karate's objectively awesome. That's so absurd. The dad jokes are whatever, but the karate. I wouldn't know you can do karate. It's so shockingly stupid that everybody hates their dad for doing these dumb things.

Starting point is 01:18:51 It's amazing. Wait, and it's like because they can't see them, that he's doing karate, right? It was like back in the day. They probably do have video cameras now. But I don't think in the mid-90s they had video cameras. So he would just be like, what the what? Ah! I love it. think in the mid 90s they had video cameras so like you just like. I love it.

Starting point is 01:19:13 I think the tickets thing first of all still happens to this day. I'm like now I obviously know either I do have one day though it's going to happen. But back then I'd be like come on man you gotta tell me if I gotta get the tickets. It's gonna happen but back then I'd be like come on man. You gotta tell me if I gotta get the ticket Changed us every time I do something to Shay she goes daddy in the same voice Now I say I just go daddy Just this endless cycle of fucking stupid Unbelievable that's great You gotta get the kids on Woza too.

Starting point is 01:19:45 Yeah, I was gonna say this has a lot of Woza Cardoza vibes to it. Very funny. Alright, we got plenty of masters talking here today and you know, there's one brand when you're talking masters you gotta think of and that's Hey Dude. From warming up on the range to sinking putts on the green or just kicking back at the clubhouse, the new Hey Dude Wendy and Wally Golf Styles have you covered. They're designed with a grippy, logged rubber sole, rubber outsole, golf inspired features

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Starting point is 01:20:33 Sign up now to be the first to know at heydude.com slash golf. Hey, can you guys remind me to pay my taxes? Oh, God damn. Yeah. Give me just give me a quick shout at some point between today and tomorrow Yeah, just say it's it's the 14th I think I've all tomorrow too So my dad played a tax prank on me yesterday because we send our taxes to go for somebody to go to him And then he came on he's like I got bad news man. You're only

Starting point is 01:21:00 $25,000 and like you let it go the whole day and that's another another that whole day. I'm like that one that one It's like hey, dude How about you just do karate in the fucking drive-thru and don't make me think I owe 25 Goddamn asshole I For the first time in a hundred years don't know and it feels great Yeah, but I think I said this before the show. It's just because I've been paying it throughout the year It's not like no you just already paid it,

Starting point is 01:21:25 but it feels good to not get whacked on April 9th. I feel like I have like, I don't know, I feel like I'm sweating. I don't wanna say this. This is who I am. You are Mary Catherine Gallagher. Do you know that character from? No, no, no, I actually, I feel like I tell him.

Starting point is 01:21:35 I was like, I also like, the whole last year, when I didn't realize I was not wearing like anti-perspirant deodorant. So like, I feel like any- Oh, you were wearing deodorant deodorant? You deodorant deodorant, and I didn't know that. Those are disgusting. So like, I feel like any- Oh, you're just trying deodorant, deodorant? You deodorant, deodorant, and I didn't know that. So like- Those are disgusting. Any sweat that you saw off of me last year doesn't count.

Starting point is 01:21:49 Those are the worst, cause you, it just mixes, like, you just put this like, scented jelly in your arms, and then you sweat, and it's like, now it's a sweaty, scented mess. Yeah. Like, put that poison up in my armpit, so I do know. I didn't even know, it wasn't even like, it was like the anti chemical whatever

Starting point is 01:22:05 It was still just like the chemicals dealer inversion. Yeah, anyways, but I just sometimes look like Justin Rose putting Learn that yesterday Justin Rose tuxes shirt tuxes shoulder and so he doesn't yeah Do I do like a voicemail yeah Yeah. What's up, Kev? So full disclosure? I don't drink anymore, but I'm doing this just for the love of the game Let's go Hi, how you doing today? Hey, do you have the midnight bean espresso martini drink at your location? Yeah midnight bean it's a pre-made espresso martini.

Starting point is 01:22:45 It's awesome. Do you know if you guys have it? Look at this guy, my hype man. OK. Do you think maybe you could order it next week when you're doing your liquor order? Because it's awesome. You guys got to get it in there.

Starting point is 01:22:56 You're going to sell it crazy. I'm going to find out who's there, because I don't even know. OK, yeah. You can Google it. It's online, and it's one of the big new liquor companies. So yeah, make sure you get in there because it's gonna go crazy here pretty soon.

Starting point is 01:23:09 Thanks buddy. All right, thanks man. Have a good one. There you go. Free bottle for that guy. That's the eternal rub right now is this getting it in the stores. I guess maybe I've just gotten used to like barstool life

Starting point is 01:23:25 and the speed of the internet and stuff, you know? Yeah. They're like, yeah, we'll get going in like a couple months. It's like, really? You know how this works? We'll have numbers for you in like three months. Like, cool. OK.

Starting point is 01:23:39 Cool. By then, like, I will have lived nine lifetimes. Yeah, three months. Three months on the internet. It's like, I probably will have. the summer will be over in three months. That's right. It's crazy. The next season will have passed.

Starting point is 01:23:49 We just move at such a different pace. But yeah, it's slowly, they're rolling it out in, actually let me, I had a call with him the other day. And I'll give you guys some of the stats because it's big in Illinois. Fuck. I truly don't think I've gone out and not

Starting point is 01:24:11 Had somebody ordering this person right dude. It's it's they're bigger than ever It's just it's right. It's right there, and I'm gonna get it I just got to get it in all these stores all these places like once These like stadiums and clubs and bars and restaurants and people to realize that like how good it is and how Easy it is you don't need to mix all this shit. You don't need to have the Espresso martini machine and all that shit. It's going to be an absolute fucking Just gotta get there Um, but yeah, I mean the drink is it just could not have been better timing I saw somebody being like oh like you're you're you're six years too late or something like that

Starting point is 01:24:44 I was like I am right where I want somebody being like, oh, you're six years too late or something like that. I was like, I am right where I wanna be. At the peak of this shit. I'm sick of being early on things. Let me tell you something, being early is almost as bad as being late. You know what I mean? I feel like you're either one or the other and finding that sweet spot where it's like,

Starting point is 01:24:58 it's the most popular it's ever been is where you really wanna be. Yeah, I mean, I'm making them every night at my house, on the couch, in front of the fire, in front of the TV, and I'm like, this is all I've ever wanted. That's fine. Honestly, even if, I'm just like, I'm happy that this exists. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:25:14 That's why I hope it's gonna work, because I'm like, I'm just happy this exists. I don't even care about the business side of it. All I've ever wanted to do is be able to enjoy my favorite cocktail while not out and at a place where they make them. It's like, you could just finally do that now. So for the love of the game, man makes up.

Starting point is 01:25:29 So I'm on the phone with my mom and she asked if I want to come home for Passover. She was holiday coming up and I'm like, uh, yeah, when and like, this is the whole thing, her asking me to come home for Passover. Because the last time there was a holiday, she did not ask me if I wanted to come. They had a holiday without me. I was alone. It was bullshit.

Starting point is 01:25:51 So this is her. I'm like, happy. Oh, she's asking me this time. And she goes, after I say when she goes. Oh, sorry. We're actually going to be away. We're not actually having a Passover. What the fuck

Starting point is 01:26:06 with an April fools joke on April 3rd her own son I guess my question is what's the most fucked up thing your parents have ever done fights you got to give five my family does this to me all the time. They'll be like, like my sister will be like, oh, like, so you're excited to go to like wherever I don't be like, I have not heard about that. I should be like, do you hear the mom and dad are coming to town? I'll be like, they didn't tell me. I'm actually out of town this weekend. That's good that they ran that by me. But yeah, they do that to me all the time. My parents do that too a lot where they come here and don't tell me but they're much closer like Yeah, it's like they come like two and a half hours. I go to play go to dinner stay the night go home Cross-country change like two trips a year

Starting point is 01:26:55 Every single time I'm like out of time except yeah, anyways, but I feel that that's that's fun. I don't I don't I don't know I Mean the fact that I get invited to family events is funny. I think. Like just like I get like an actual invitation. Like in the mail, like to like Thanksgiving. Yeah. Oh, I've talked about that before where it's like, my favorite stories ever. I was like, I get physical invitations where it's kind of like, I guess if you haven't had your own family yet, you can come here.

Starting point is 01:27:28 The he's still doing that. Dude, actually, this weekend we did. I opened for Francis in Providence and I stayed at my parents' house and they came to the show Friday night and I got a ride home with them Friday and I got in the backseat of the car because they both came in with a backpack kind of a buzz and I was like this is high school. I was like my parents picked me up I'm a bit bussed I got my backseat I'm pretending to keep it straight.

Starting point is 01:27:59 So how was your day? They just watched me tell dick jokes. It was a very weird experience. Wait, was that the first time ever seeing you? It's my dad's been to KFC radio stuff. He like snuck into a thing or two. My mom, I don't think my mom had ever seen me do literally anything. Really? I don't think my mom knew what I do for a job.

Starting point is 01:28:19 Did she like it? She liked it. Yeah. I was definitely nervous. It was my worst show of the weekend for sure. I was for sure nervous. Because they were in the crowd? Yeah, just like knowing my parents were in the crowd. Because I have like jokes about like their parents and they didn't know that.

Starting point is 01:28:36 Who do you think in the crowd being there you'd be the most nervous for? I don't know the answer to that. I don't know the answer to that Probably probably like Shane my parents are also but like a friend who like I want to impress and all that stuff I mean like I'm nervous with Francis like I it's a bad It's not my mindset. I'm not writing jokes to hope Francis laughs at them, but I do want him to think like okay. I'm not This isn't just like a charity case. Yeah, which it is I mean like is I don't want to be like so like basically any of my friends who do stand-up comedy are

Starting point is 01:29:15 Probably towards the cop top of people. I'd want it would make me nervous Yeah, but it was good. This one is with the first weekend where I was like I get it a little bit more What do you mean in terms of like every other time I've done stand-up? I've been like it's just a melee like just grab a body and hit a body Yeah, it's not like there's no thinking to it this time. I was like, okay I get it like I'm gonna fight and I'm fighting that guy I can like read it a little better rather than just like just start throwing. Are you doing like crowd work? Um, I wouldn't say crowd work but I

Starting point is 01:29:45 I'm talking to the crowd more oh do you are you ever gonna post like crowd work no yeah no all right can I see you show again yeah Jackie you close this out um no I I don't think I'm gonna be good at that so I don't worry he closed this out. Okay Goodbye That was good, that was good Update he followed me back. He followed me back. Check it check it Five The double follow back Check it, check it. What you got? Fuuuck! The double follow back.

Starting point is 01:30:33 God damn it! Alright, now we wait. Why do you two have to fuck this guy. I'm going to go ahead and put this in the fridge for a few minutes. So I'm going to go ahead and put this in the fridge for a few minutes. Thanks for watching!

KFC Radio - Rory Mcilroy Overcomes An All Time Choke to Win the Masters - Full Episode

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