KFC Radio - Rudy and The Guys Create the Best Episode of Reality TV in TV History - Full Episode

Episode Date: September 26, 2022

- Rudy and the guys cover a lot of ground talking about the boy who died from JOing 42 times, the a**hole is actually the Upside Down, what plastic is really doing to the male body, Alex Jones, Adam Levine, the best episode of the Maury show ever, and much more.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Where's Will Byers? He's in the Upside Down. Oh, he's doing it. Is it someone's ass? I'm ready. Jackie's back in action. We got the producer camera on? Yeah. You do?

This is technically her second episode back. Yeah. Because this is Monday's episode. Oh, yeah, okay. Well, this is a little time hop. We've been recording already. I was actually just joking. You don't have to put, you know.

Somebody, I think Nick had texted me the day after. It was like, you know, should we put pictures up? I was like, well, we don't have to force her into doing anything. It would be funny if she shows her face well, we don't have to force her into doing anything. It would be funny if she shows her face, but you don't have to if you don't want to. I immediately took videos after I woke up because you were so mad.

Because you're a real one. Well, that's what I mean. I was like, you have to vlog this. But then I was like, I meant it more like this is an opportunity. Not like I'm your boss telling you what to do. You're going to be uncomfortable, but you have to do this but it was fucking worth it wasn't it because the videos are awesome yeah thanks it looks surprisingly good thank you yeah i mean it's kind of awkward if you guys cannot walk with her down the street because it looks like we yeah yeah we should do

that we should walk around new york and just kind of like yell oh i i have no problem with doing that. I have. Shocker. Dude, the. I remember. The time you were beating your girlfriend. When I live with my girlfriend, she was a fainter. And she, like, just fainted one day when I was at work. And then I ended up going out that night, like, right from the bar. Like, it was as usual. The fainting was a thing.

It wasn't like, whoa, shit, I'm rushing home and uh i was like come out and she's like i have the blackest eye i've ever had in my life and i was like who fucking cares i didn't do it like people get hurt like why don't you just come out she's like i can't be out with you what are you nuts yeah and i was like i don't understand what the issue is like are you fine like are you injured no i'm fine like then why don't you come out didn? It wasn't something you were like, I'm a lefty. Eventually, we got to there where I was making those jokes

with her family. It was like, just like, so weird. I think someone in her family had said like, if it was anyone but John, I'm driving down right now.

Yeah. And like, we're going to have a talk. And then, if it was anyone but John, they'd be driving down. Right, but if it was you, it's okay. They're like, they just know I wouldn't do that.

Oh, yeah. If it was John, you know, you've got to work things out as a couple. He gets to beat my daughter up fast. And then eventually I was like, just so I know everyone knows, but just so we're all clear. It'll be the other eye. It'll be the other eye. That's a good defense.

Way better defense. That's a defense in the court of law. That'll get you out of prison. It was like this person was struck with a left-handed hammer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Forensics. I'm a fucking righty, bro. CSI, dude.

I've seen CSI shit. My blood splatter would have been the other way. I actually thought it was the opposite. I thought you punched with your left. No, I write with my left, punch with my right. Punch with your right. What do you punch with? My right.

Are you righty all the way through? I play every sport lefty, but – That's what I thought too. But I'm righty, like writing, throwing, but then like hockey, lefty, lacrosse, lefty. Those are both hands. What do you jerk off with? Right. Right for you?

Left. I think jerking off is what you're... I jerk off with the hand I write with. Yeah, I think your dominant hand is your jerk off hand. Oh, you write lefty. I write lefty. Oh, man, you're all time. You're kind of a weirdo.

Yeah. Your brain's all mixed up. I think you jerk off with the hand you write with. That's what I said. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I've gone lefty. That to me is like, you can write, you can throw, you can da-da-da.

You jerk off and you write. That's your hand. That's... Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I've gone lefty. That to me is like, you can write, you can throw, you can da-da-da. You jerk off and you write. That's your hand. If you mix that up, if you're like, I write lefty, but I jerk righty, that's a fucking That's insane. That's insane. I've gone a couple southpaws, but it doesn't really. I mean, I've done it. I've never done it.

I mean, I've touched it before with it, but I've never. And maybe I've even tried a little bit, but I haven't tried any longer than 30 seconds. It feels like doing the, like... Yes, that's exactly what it feels like. What you got to do is get it really close and then switch over. Bring in the closer. And then it's like, because you know what also... Your lefty reliever.

You get tired, dude. Those are times I've had, like... It's been like, look, dude, I've just hung over Sunday. I just, like... I've had it where, like, I was like, I might... Cramping? I don't know if I'm having a heart attack. Like shooting pains on my left arm.

I'm like, what? We talked about this on Ian Fidance's podcast. Like he – and our podcast. He'll come ten times on a Sunday. Like ten. That's – Hungover? You do too?

Hungover gets crazy. I thought – give him a dab. You leave him hanging. I thought I remember that too because I remember saying something like, no way, and you were like, yeah, no, You do too? Hungover gets crazy. I thought... Give him a dab. You leave him hanging. I thought I remember that too because I remember saying something like, no way, and you were like, yeah, no, I do too. That 10's like,

that's probably a little yesteryear for me. Yeah. But also that was light work, dude. Like 10 was easy. That's like the guy that died did 17. Oh, I could beat him. There's a guy who died in a drug and alcohol? I could beat him today.

Where'd he die from? He tried to just beat off as many times as he could in one day, and he fucking died. Nah, dude. I'm the king, then. I'm the fucking king. I have always thought... I think it's in the States. I've always wanted to have one of those...

Where? He died 42... He jerked off 42 times. Oh! Give me something like the story here. Okay, so 16-year-old boy died. 16. He died? He died. me something like the story here. Okay, so 16-year-old boy died. He died? He died.

I remember hearing the story and getting nervous because I wasn't doing 42, but they were like, oh, shit. I just don't get it. 16-year-old died after masturbating 42 times without stopping in Brazil. His mother told a local newspaper that she already knew about his son's addiction and that she planned to see the doctor, but the decision came too late. I feel like this is like he was masturbating.

First thing that came too late. Got him. That's why we're having a room play on. I feel like it's one of those things you keep reading the article, and it's like he was jerking off on the roof and fell off or something. I don't know how you die from just coming.

That's what I'm curious. how does that lead to a death well how you 40 42 42 times not stopping maybe like those those things I felt in my arm were like it was like yeah cuz I thought it was him or something in your brain or some shit I'd be like look I feel like I'm beating a little hard right now and and I mean I mean my heart but crazy fucking your dick wasn't the problem like you're talking about your fucking – your dick wasn't the problem. You're talking about your arms and your heart. What about your dick?

No, I'm talking about my fucking cardiovascular stamina. Like my dick, I mean it gets like swollen. If it was – I was very excited when you thought it was 17 because I was like I can take that kid today. Yeah, I thought it was way lower than 42. 42 is a point of fire. 42. I wonder like how it went. Maybe that was it. Maybe he was like jerking off in a pit of fire.

It's just a crazy thing to die from. Like, I wonder if it's, like, there's, like, a glitch in the Matrix where if you jerk off 42 times. Like, I picture him, like, just. It's like a video game. You unlock the key or some shit. I picture him, like, disintegrating, like, in Marvel. Like, he comes and he just. Just, like, turns into leaves.

What's happening, huh? Imagine that if it wasn't a heart attack. It was, like, he came his body. Yeah, like, like, he. Like, just. What do you it wasn't a heart attack. It was like he came his body. Yeah, like just. What do you got of dehydration? Why? He had no liquid left in his body. His eyes were dry.

His dick was just taking sweat and throwing it out. I don't know what he wants from me. Brains coming out of your dick at that point. Just coming organs. Damn, RIP to a pioneer. For real. A legend, man. Just pushing the envelope. That's like. You don RIP to a pioneer. For real, a legend, man. Just pushing the envelope.

That's like, you don't see that every day. He could have stopped at 41 and been fine, but he was like, I'm going to push the limit. Like a guy who climbs Who doesn't stop at 40?

You get to 20, you think you're like a hero. You get to 30, you're sort of like, I want to see how far this can go. You get to the big 4-0, you call it quits. Dude, I would be firing blanks

in the teens. I'd be firing blanks by, like, 6. Yeah. I don't even know how, if anything was coming out at that point. Like, that's insane. Do you keep coming? No, fuck. Demon? Oh, no, no, no, no, no. I was gonna say, like, your brain or something. You do that thing where your, like, your fucking ass, like,

contracts and your dick jumps and nothing comes out, right? Dude, you do a full sit up cause your body's looking for something like you're dead lifting you're the spotter for that fucking tenth cum you guys are fucking

I never thought I'd say today but you guys are disgusting you guys are disgusting dude a spotter is so funny it's like dig dig dig dig You guys are disgusting. You guys disgust me. Dude, the spotter is so funny. He's like, yeah! Dig, dig, dig, dig, dig. I'm right here. I'm not touching the ball.

I'm not touching. I'm not touching. I'm not touching. I'm not touching. All you, all you. Finish, finish, finish. Get there. Get there.

Nice fucking set, dude. God damn. All you. Get there. Nice fucking set, dude. God damn. All you. That's awesome. That's amazing. We need... You are... You're our second guest. Honored.

I can't believe it. You were supposed to be our first, but you got bumped. I got bumped. Reasonably so for Big Cat. But you were first that came to mind. We had to have the rude boy on. Appreciate it. It's an honor. Yeah. I you're you're similar to jackie in a way what's that by the way what we got in there this is i try to put down three of these a day oh it's just

water yeah and now jeans are a big part of colorado culture yeah you guys take shits in them or something right you could yeah that's my dad has one that he pees in yeah it's like got duct tape all around it just says pee don't drink, don't drink. Don't drink. But yeah, no, these are like a staple in Colorado. They're awesome. It's like eight bucks, BPA free. And so what's that? That's three, that 1,400 milliliters.

46 ounces. You drink three of those a day? Try to. I don't usually do it. Yeah, they say you should drink your body weight in ounces or something like that every day. I think, I just looked it online. They said you're supposed to have three of these a day, which a fuck ton of water that's a lot i bet i hit that though you drink a fuck i drink a lot of water i actually drink a lot of water here because of

this like there's people that are always just handing to me when i'm like home though never man yeah it's tough never do it and i'll be like i'll be irritable and tired and achy and i'm like what the fuck is wrong and it's like you don't have any fuel in your yeah we run on this shit it came a lot for some reason for me to at home I'm like getting like I should I should have a glass of water and for whatever reason when you're at home it's just like oh like I gotta get up and like yeah yes there's something about like but it went at work I'm you're walking by this so the the kitchen or the right bottles or whatever anyway that's why the bottle is huge.

I don't care if I'm destroying the earth. I know. I apologize about Colorado culture. I don't use those bottles because those bottles are too big. What do you fill that up with? They're not comfortable. I use the filtered water in the kitchen, which a lot of people are scared of. What's the filtered water? They're like big black.

Oh, yeah, because of the coffee machine, right? Why are people afraid of that? People think that that's gross, like the filter in it, like there's something wrong with it. I will say this, though. I changed my Brita filter at home. I moved the other day, so I don't think I changed it in five years. And I looked at the...

It has these four... It had stalactites. I mean, it was like... I don't know what it's supposed... Well, I actually do. I opened up a new one, and I was like, oh, it's supposed to look clear. It's a bad feeling. And it was black. I was like, I don't know what it's supposed to be. Well, I actually do. I opened up a new one, and I was like, oh, it's supposed to look clear. It's a bad feeling.

And it was like black. I was like, oh, okay. I've had ones with my Brita where I didn't change it forever, and I looked like I had the thing, and there was like soot. Yeah, it's probably making it worse. Yeah, and then with this one, it's really hard to clean because it's so big. And so what I was doing was I was just like filling it with hot water and shaking it around. And then after like a little while, I was like, man, this thing has got to be gross.

And then for three weeks, my stomach just couldn't get – I couldn't have a regular shit. And I was like, what is going on? I'm eating the same stuff. Drinking bacteria and shit. And then I was like, you know what? That water bottle probably is pretty foul. And I went and cleaned it and, dude, it had a layer. A ring around it.

It had like a layer of dirt. Bro, you know what never has a layer of dirt on it? A fucking new water bottle. Exactly. So that's the cross a layer of dirt. Bro, you know what never has a layer of dirt on it? A fucking new water bottle. Exactly. So that's the cross-eyed bear. Oh, they said the plastics. What was the thing on Joe Rogan? You might know it.

It was like, plastics are... There's some sort of correlation between our taints shrinking. Oh, you've said this before. Bigger taints mean more masculinity. Right. And our taints are shrinking, and part of the reason is something about plastic bottles. Yeah, like you're-

I got it. I got it. You're Rogan Mad Libs. It's like, because this is making you unhealthy, it's like, taint, plastic bottle, masculinity. Knowing nothing about anything, I got to throw a challenge flag. I don't think the pollen springs are shrinking my taint. I just don't. It's such a bizarre thing.

I just don't. I have no science to back me up, but I don't- I think the pollen springs are shrinking my taint. I just don't. It's such a bizarre thing. I just don't. I have no science to back me up, but I don't. I think the taints are shrinking. I think that is true. Fine. But that's happening, like, evolutionarily, right? Yeah, I think it's just something that, like, monkeys or primates or whatever we evolved from must have fucking huge taints.

And ours are smaller, so that's a sign of, like, you know, less. So you can go back and forth. Yeah, I guess it's a sign of, like, mass evolution. of less. So you can go back and forth. Yeah, I guess it's a sign of mass. Monkeys don't get to go back and forth. They could. They just got to move all the way up and down. It's just like a blank canvas. You know what I mean?

It's stupid. Girls don't have taints. Girls have just like that. Girls have one of those fake walls that you put up in New York City to create a fake bedroom. Yeah, it's like the Strait of Gibraltar It's like a tiny land bridge Yeah you can kind of just pinch it Yeah

You just feel it It's almost like the upside down It's like you're in the pussy but you're not And then like the dark world is the ass. Where's Will Byers? He's in the upside down. Oh, he's doing it. Is it someone's ass?

I think that's why they even have the openings in the newer season look like vaginas. Yeah, I mean, there's so many pussies in Stringer's house. And the kids aren't fucking any of them. That's so funny. Like, the guy comes in. He's like, I figured it out. Will Byers is in an ass. He's in someone's ass.

There's something, Joe, my dad loves. It's something like um it's something like god god we know god's not an architect because he wouldn't put a playground next to the sanitation yeah oh yeah yeah i believe that's also a joke that's in um forgetting sir marshall forgetting sir marshall yes sir uh jack mcbriar says it yeah it is dangerously close for something that's supposed to stay clean and away from it it's almost as if like god was like hey Oh, yeah, I got it out. Yeah God was like what if we make it close enough that it could slip in yeah God God was like we were like a going to run a little test.

And mice are just chewing on wires now. No, stop that fucking egg. No, I think he was laughing. I think that he has a sense of humor. And the reason I think that is because of the foreskin. Because the funniest thing is I went to a Catholic high school, and my family's not religious whatsoever. So it was kind of awesome for me because I could just sit back and I took it as if it was like a science

class. I was like, I'm just here to learn. I'm not going to be riddled with guilt like the rest of you guys. And so, but they were the funniest thing to me in the Bible that no one talked about was the fact that God created man and the whole thing is that he's without error. He doesn't make any mistakes, yada, yada, yada. But then, like in the

fourth chapter, he's like, hey guys, I got a software update. I got a software update. The penis, I kind of botched it, so if you guys could just patch that, I'd appreciate it. And they're like, can do.

It is a very strange thing. Foreskins play a huge part in the Bible. I don't know if you know the Bible story where one of the kings, there's a suitor, I forget who it is. I want to say maybe it's Saul. Who are you looking to for answers? Honestly, Nick. You're talking about David and Goliath.

Was it David who needed them? So David defeats Goliath, Yeah. And he goes to King Saul. Oh, it was. Okay. Yeah, yeah. And he's like, I want to fuck your daughter. Yep. And he's like, I fuck with you.

I'm going to make that happen. But. Clean that dick up. You know the. No, not his. What is his name? There's some like town, like one town over. He's like, you know those guys?

And he's like, yeah, fuck those guys. He's like, yeah, fuck them. I need a hundred of their foreskins. And he came back with them like satchel them down like, here it is baby. Where's that daughter at? Here's the weird craziest part of the story. David was feeling himself

went there, didn't get a hundred. He bagged two hundred and was like, doubled it. We're doing anal. I'll have her for both nights, thank you. Dude, it's... Dude, you really went to Catholic school, too, because I went to Catholic school,

and I don't remember that story. You remember all that from that back then? How could you forget that? And they were teaching you that kind of shit? Yeah, I mean, they did gloss over certain shit. Yo, it is wild what gets passed off as just like, it's Catholic school. Because if you did it about fucking any other religion,

there'd be like, we're teaching like hate crimes and shit in class, you know? We're talking about chopping dicks off. Imagine if that was just like, yeah, you know, like a Muslim teacher was up there talking about chopping dicks off. It would be the end of the fucking world. It's as crazy as the plastic shrinking taint theory. All of it

is just, every religion is just like, what side do you believe? Because it's all fanatical bullshit. But that all being said, you got to stick the tip of your dick off. That shit is weird. Your dick's going to be stinky and smelly and all that shit. Right, 100%. And the only argument against circumcision is you lose dick. You don't have as much dick.

Yeah, but I don't want that. It's like, that's bad dick. Yeah, I get it. But still, it's you lose dick. You don't have as much dick. Yeah, but I don't want that. That's bad dick. Yeah, I get it, but still, it's just more dick. It's hard to argue with just more dick, but it does make your penis much more handsome. What if... Alright, you want big muscles too, right? But what if you have a gross, ugly fucking tumor on your

arm? Get rid of the gross part. Yeah, I agree. Get rid of the part that girls don't want to suck on and sit on. I've seen some girls that go crazy for the force. They love the force. I don't believe that. I think you've seen porn stars do that. Yeah, that's what I mean. There's no normal girls out there might

tolerate it, but they're not like, yes! You know what else I've seen porn stars do, Rudy? A lot of things porn stars do that I don't think they're actually liking and enjoying. I get it. I get it. It's entertainment. I came across one where that was happening, and I was just like –

I've come across similar ones, and I'm like, this is a little weird. Can't relate. I'm not the target demographic. And also it's a distraction. I'm just like – so it goes back and forth Sheath is a word that gets thrown around when you start when you start about weird Genital things you hear a lot of sheath a lot of slothing. It's a big ass community Those are things that sex has taken over. You know it's like speculum. That's how they used to say This words are depleted. That's all they yeah to say, like, old English. Like, hath your son been unsheathed?

We're talking about getting dicks hard in armor from Game of Thrones. Because, have you watched the new one? I have not seen the newest episode. Right, but you were on this episode. We were talking about when they had sex, he had to take off his real armor. It's like, if I don't get dick into vagina in the first 25 seconds, we're we're not, I mean, you know, we're in danger territory. Right. And so we're like, what do you do when you have armor on?

And they made armor that had like a, Oh really? Boner hole, like a boner. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. So it was like, it was, it was tight. It was basically like, if you're ever on the battlefield, like you and you get a boner, don't worry.

Intuitive design. Yeah. Yeah. I bet you the first guy built it without one. I was on the battlefield. Like, I picture like a guy that like invented that. And he the battlefield like, fuck, what do I do with this thing? I picture a guy that invented that and he had a Steve Jobs keynote speak.

He was like, we got something really exciting. We're unveiling the new version. Lancelot, you're going to love this one. You little fucking slut. Innovation that excites. You like the Game of Thrones? Yeah, I mean, I like it because I'm a huge Game of Thrones fan. It's definitely, like, slower and different.

I mean, you've got to remember, we're back to season one, where it's like you've got to build all this shit up again, you know? It doesn't have the colliding storylines. It's obviously, like, a much smaller universe. But I like it. It's cool. Definitely not as exciting, but I like it. You're right.

I mean, that is a... But you've got to remember, like, when it first started, like it it's cool uh definitely not as exciting but i like you right i mean that that is a but you gotta remember like when it first started it really was just kind of like it was jamie push bran out the fucking thing but here ned stark you know we didn't we didn't we didn't have like 10 yeah but what what yeah i know but what put the wind in my sails off rip was i was just obsessed with the white walkers that's all all I cared about. From the very get go dangled that shit for fucking 10 years. Exactly. They just edged you forever.

The greatest marketing ever. And the only complaint I have about this one is that there isn't some sort of fantastical overlooming issue that is coming. There's no big bad. You need a big bad. You need a Thanos or a White Walker or something that's like there's all these there's no big bad you need a big bad you need like a Thanos or a White Walker

or something that's like there's all these sub things going on but it all comes to this one thing right now it's just like that's the throne and but I'll say I didn't put that together now I'm kind of disappointed

it's just a different style and the way that it's the way that the book is written is that it's much more it's like a there's like a narrator telling like a historical recounting of it

whereas in Game of Thrones you got it from the character's perspective so that it's like a, there's like a narrator telling like a historical recounting of it. Whereas in Game of Thrones, you got it from the character's perspective. So that's why like the story style is like different. A little different. Yeah. Yeah. So. Do you read it? Fuck no.

Okay. Well, you said that. You said it with a chest. I read the Wikipedia about it. Come on, bro. I could never read like a 900 page book. Never. Never.

Never. We have one where it's also, it's very detailed. Right. It's like, it's like Tom Clancy style where it's just like fucking they look someone say like I got the example I've heard it's like four pages to describe a page of grass oh that is JR Tolkien yeah but he's also in George Martin does this but Tolkien like built a world and yeah languages and I know George RR Martin did too but like I think Lord of the Rings even more so with, like, all the different. Oh, there's so much more? Yeah.

It's insanely in- Making a language for your fake books is fucking nuts. They should absolutely hospitalize you right now. Yeah. I'm going to create a language. When you hear people speak, like, Valerian or in the other, in Elish and yeah and you can tell it actually sounds like a language like yeah like if we if you were to just go like it's like that doesn't sound like a language but these guys like it sounds like a word that would be in a different language and i'm like

how the fuck do you do that yeah no it's crazy it's truly the definition of the meme of like what getting no pussy does to a motherfucker it's like i'm gonna create an entire universe with in-depth languages that goes back thousands of years. Do you think he made an alphabet and then words and then strung together sentences? Or do you think he was like, I want this character. In the book, is it written out? In the Simmerillion,

you can get appendixes. You're asking the wrong guy. I got banned from languages. What does that mean. I got banned from languages. What does that mean? I got banned. Is that a class, languages? No, like in middle school, they said, they were like, you have dyslexia.

You're done. You're done. You're done. Dude, dyslexic people have definitely learned new languages. That was just a lazy teacher. That was someone who was just like, this shit's too hard. Bro, I guarantee you right now there's someone with dyslexia who listens to this podcast and is going, I speak two languages.

I know a guy. It's like, okay, yeah, there's extreme individuals in the world. That doesn't correlate at all. What did he say? He said Lance Armstrong won the Tour de France. I'm just saying there's extreme people out there. I know a guy who has dyslexia who is a journalist, a successful writer. Yeah, no, there's a lot of good writers that are actually dyslexic.

And it manifests itself in different ways. Like languages for me, it just couldn't stick in my brain. And math. Writing, I'm good at. Reading, I'm good at. You're just dumb, dude. Yeah, that too. You're just a fucking nimbo.

Those are mutually exclusive things. Mutually. Wait, so you said you're a good at. You're just dumb, dude. Yeah, that too. You're just a fucking nimbo. Those are mutually exclusive things. Mutually. Wait, so you can, you said you're a good writer. Yeah. But you can't read? Is that what dyslexia is? Terrible, terrible grammar. No, I can read really well.

What does dyslexia do then? It just like, it has different things like mental math, dude. No. No, that means dyslexia has no words. It does have to do with words. Like, but. We just learned this yesterday. So you can't throw in a but. But with me, it presents as a math issue.

Dyscalcula is what he had. Dyscalcula, yes. He said it was dyslexia for numbers. So you just are bad at math. Very bad at math. But if you can read and write and speak, you can't be bad at language. There's nothing left to do. Listen, man, they never even gave me the chance. So the year after

that i was like i think you were a motherfucker in class and he was like i'm done with this kid he's dyslexic how old were you i was 14 at the time 13 or 14 that's a lot of years of learning words and shit yeah but i put in eight hour or eight years of spanish and the only thing that i retained was puedo tomar agua which means can I go get a water, which means just so you know, everyone knows that I didn't need to translate if that was a Netflix episode, they wouldn't have translated

for you, but I try and walk in and says you have to know this or else yeah, but to your point I said at the time, I was like, you know what? I'm not I can do this. Fuck you guys. So then I did the stupidest thing you could have done in high school. I was like you know what I'm not I can do this fuck you guys so then I did the stupidest thing you could have done at hot in high school I was like I'm going Latin that is the dumbest it's the I'm learning people tell you it's good for the SATs cuz I'm gonna do the etymology it's like fuck

you I was even worse at that worse at that it's a dead language literally and my teachers my teacher was as old as a language yeah yeah and we have to be because they're the only people. He was so fucking old. You have to go find an old pope. Dude, my Latin teacher looked like he invented Latin. My guy looked like Gandalf. He was a fucking monk, too.

Yeah, but they're the only ones who use it. He was dressed like a monk, carried a monk. I would have to bet that Latin is big dead now, just console the Latin. Oh, it's been dead. It's been dead. No's been dead for a while. No, I mean, I know it's a dead language, but I mean, like, kids in my school were even picking it. Like, they have to by this point in time.

I see what you're saying. It's a waste of your time. The only place that has it, I think, is Catholic schools. So you were dumb as a kid, and that was the problem. Yeah. Viciously dumb. You're smart now? Yeah, I'm pretty smart.

I think you're learned. Well, I'm... There's a difference between smart and well-versed in shit. I'm really good at faking it. Like you're great at trivia. Yeah, exactly. He's really, really good at the dozen. I know. I've had my ass kicked on multiple times.

Stupid shit, like I know really well. My friends growing up, they all called me the idiot savant. Yeah. Like I'm painfully stupid in a lot of categories, but then the certain ones where I'm just like weirdly good. Like maps geoguessr yeah like i'm fire at maps so you oh so that yeah that's autism yeah yeah that should be the test for autism yeah yeah can you do then you do shit on maps then you're autistic yeah and i might like those little kids who are like i know the capital of every country i think autism is happening to glow up.

Big time. I think it's cool to be autistic now. Oh, wow. And in a couple more years, it's going to be like, that guy is not even on the spectrum. Yeah. Like, fuck that adult. He can't even do, like, math or, you know, whatever fucking. He can't even do geography. What, does he play sports?

Yeah, yeah. No, there's definitely a growing number of teachers where, like, they have their baby, and they're like, it's all good. And they're like, is he on the spectrum? And they're like, no. And they're like, fuck. Yeah, yeah. I want him to be gay and autistic. He's not going to be Dave Matthews.

He's supposed to be the next Elon. Right. Yeah. Cause well, you know, it's like you get really good at certain shit. It's like, do you want to be this kind of average at everything or bad at a few things, but awesome at other shit? It's a jack of all trades master. Yeah. Right.

No, if I could beat the master of something it wouldn't be fucking geoguessing. It wouldn't be trains. Yeah. Train horns. But yeah, I think there's like a I think what's good

is it like maybe there's not a practical application but I think the days of being like bullied on the playground or dwindling because it's just like, yeah, you're not. Oh, I don't think that.

Well, you'll always get bullied. You're still gonna get fucking bullied. No, but I think it's getting better. Like, I think it's like, I think the fact that everybody's fucking got it on some level is helping. I think it's just like those It Gets Better commercials that they used to have for games. Like, don't, like, your life fucking sucks

right now. But when you're 30, it's going to be okay. Yeah, you'll be able to fuck dudes on Fire Island eventually. But right now, it's a tough go. Yeah, just get through high school and get to a college. You'll be chilling. Yeah, that's really what you need to do is just get to college. I had a buddy in high school that got pussy hand over fist. Like, he was the coolest dude ever the most suave like so flirtatious

like just an absolute ace yep and i always was kind of like he's too good at this at this age like he's just way too good at this and i always had this argument where i was like if he is gay it makes sense and i never could articulate it well no No one understood what I was saying. But I was saying, I was like, dude, think about it this way. A gay man is so good at getting laid by girls if he's covering up because he thinks like a woman. Yeah. He knows what buttons to push. And they were like, that doesn't make any sense.

I'm like, it makes perfect fucking sense. Anyways, as soon as he graduated, he was out of the Catholic school. I gave him a lot of credit because he basically lived this different life because he knew that it was going to be trouble. We take our hats off to method actors. Yes. And it was literally like the prestige. He was living

his act. And then once he got out of high school, he was just like, I'm gay. It was fully out. He's an awesome dude. You can't get me out of school anymore. Bro, that has got to be the worst. I could never be in the closet. That's the worst feeling. It's such a headache.

It's such a whole thing. I would just be like, I would try for like a week, and then I'd be like, I fuck dudes. Get over it. Dude, that's not even a difference. It's a secret. I feel like I can't keep secrets. I'm so bad at that. Yeah, right, right.

I got to tell you something. I got to tell you something. I sucked somebody's dick. Yeah, right, right. I gotta tell you something. I sucked somebody's dick last night. Yo, I gotta tell you a story. I sucked a dick last night. Foreskin and all. The whole thing. Took it down.

Yeah, you come home drunk like, this is a real me. You guys want to see some videos? Yeah, I mean, I understand why people do it, but I don't understand why people do it but i don't understand why people do it i can't oh yeah like nowadays you can't put yourself in those shoes but yeah i can't even imagine it's like come out and have a podcast and you'll be successful oh god we're gonna do it one day we we've you also grew up in the 90s so it's much different yeah yeah that's what i mean though it's like back then i understood you know right like they'll call you the F word and beat you up. Right. Now it's like, you'll get a podcast and you go to the top of the charts.

Right, exactly. Me and John have had, like, pseudo-serious conversations about being like, should we just say that we're gay? Could you imagine that story? Like, lifelong podcast hosts admit that they've, like, actually been gay the whole time. Yeah. That would, together. I actually think that would be, see, what I think is kind of bullshit, if we came out of the closet right now, that

means we'd be like lying, deceiving assholes for the better part of a decade. Yeah, but it's society's fault, not ours. That's... Well, yes, but we are... You know what I mean? It's like, oh, so everything you fucking said... Turn the mirror on society. Yeah.

But it would be everything that we said is a fucking lie in the front, you know? Yeah, but again, it's their fault. Society made me this way. Yeah, right. Society made you get out of this.

I mean, I'll tell you what, Joe Rogan, it's the plastic. It's the chemicals they're using on the frogs they were using on me.

That actually is a theory. You're like, whoa, whoa, hang on. Come on, Matt, now that one's real. Let's get serious for a second, boys. The frogs are gay.

Yeah, yeah. The frogs are gay. You stiffened up real quick. You're like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait a minute. We don't make jokes about Alex Jones. Not when I'm in the room. The frogs are gay.

There will be no Alex Jones slander in this room. Dude, someone was telling me recently, like, a female friend was talking about her, like, cute female friend. And she was like, that matters for some reason. Are you about to tell me that a girl is an Alex Jones fan? She went to move her car and InfoWars was just playing. No, no, no. I can't imagine. If you ask me, like me what that man's demographics is

I would honestly tell you 100% 100% then I think about that Marjorie Taylor Greene type chick those whatever percentage 2%, 3%, 4% all of them but anybody relatively normal female

you listen to Alex Jones that's a fucking unicorn that is crazy. Could you imagine if you met some Manhattanite chick? Just the stereotype around here. Dude, this chick's like a doctor

in Boston. I would love to meet this chick. Don't trust anyone you interact with. They're all fucking psychopaths. But girls are like... Guys are prone to be dumb about shit. I want conspiracy theories to be true sometimes. It's more fun, it's more interesting. Girls don't care about that stuff.

Girls don't get into conspiracy theories and all that shit. And if they do, they're fucking weird. Yeah, it's definitely a unique trait. I went on a date with a girl that was from Denmark. And our first date, we were just, like, talking. And she weirdly, like, brought up, like, trans something. Like, we're talking about trans people. And then it sort of slowly came out that she's, like, a massive Jordan Peterson fan.

Which is rare. Crazy. But not as, that's like. That's religious, at least, right? Because he. Yeah, he's a lot of things. But then I love, I don't have, I don't really care about Jordan Peterson. It's like, whatever. But I just love making fun of him because he yeah he's he's a lot of things but then i love i don't have i don't really care about jordan peterson it's like whatever but i just love making fun of him because he's the funniest voice and so for like an hour and a half i just like shredded jordan peterson and at the

end of the date i was sort of just like this ain't going on the thing about trans people that dude does that what he's out i've never heard it's hilarious dude does numbies yeah he goes crazy millions and millions of views i think he's out? I've never heard of him. It's hilarious. Dude does numbies. Yeah, he goes crazy. Millions and millions of views. I think he's one of those guys who started as something kind of interesting. Like, you're a very good debater. You're very articulate.

You know, I think he traps people in arguments more than he makes salient points, you know? Yeah, he's just very articulate. But now, now it it's like now you become that used to be like you are a philosopher who puts videos on the internet and now you're an internet personality who does philosophy right i think he got caught i think he got caught in the dopamine drip big time like like he's like if i say because you know what i i knew it went too far when i saw him on a twitter rant about like I'm shadow banned and my numbers are down and it's like you

shouldn't care about any of this you should be like you know numbers like that don't matter you used to care about books right and now you're like my numbers are down Zuckerberg why did you shadow ban me because of my politics his YouTube Twitter video is one of the funniest videos I've ever seen on the internet he made

so he had this Elliot Page tweet that got him. Yes, the best. Wait, what was it? I remember he had something about Elliot Page. No, no, oh wait, I was thinking about the Sports Illustrated one. That one too. That was the one where he said, this girl's too fat to be on the cover of Sports Illustrated and then complained that he was getting bullied.

And then he does this thing where he's like, I'm not doing Twitter anymore, it's accessible, and then he'll tweet, which is like the most relatable thing ever. He'll like say that Twitter's accessible. He's taking a break and then proceed to tweet like two dozen times, which is awesome. I can relate to that heavily. All of us can relate to that. That kind of rules.

And then he got banned for an Elliot Page tweet. And then he made a YouTube video about Twitter. And it's like the most unintentionally funny thing. At one point, he just goes, up yours, woke moralists. And it's like, woke moralists. If you say, I'm at the point where you say woke. Yeah, woke is wild. Like in a, like in a, you're a woke meeting.

No one's ever said that before. Yeah, yeah. Like, no one who, stay woke used to be a thing. Yeah, but that like. But, yeah. No one who... Stay woke used to be a thing. Yeah, but that like... But that is totally... I've never heard someone say, I am woke. Right, but then the people saying it about them, like,

saying that you're woke. It's like, I've never said that. But wait, what's woke moralists? He was just talking about, like, some people on Twitter. He's like, fuck you, woke moralists. Who's woke moralists? Who is woke moralists? Like, people who... Like, the progressives fuck you, woke moralists. Who's woke moralists? Who's woke moralists? Like people who... Like woke moralists.

Like moral wokes. Do you know what we're saying? Moralists? Moralists. The rural juror? A moral person is like a group of morals. Moralists! Yes! I thought you were saying moralists. I thought you were saying

the name was woke. Like he was making fun of someone's name like woke more lists i you might be a brother i couldn't tell if you were not understanding the point or the words i i was thinking what is the issue here you dumb fucking idiot i was thinking of it as a last name spelled M-O-R-E-L-E-S-S. I had a really bad one of those when I was probably like eight or nine. My mom was like, we're going to Bed, Bath, and Beyond, and then we're going home. And I was just like, we're going to go home? We're going to go bed.

We're going to take a bath, and then I'm going to get a Batman Beyond toy? And I literally thought that. And for 20 minutes in the car, she was like, we're going to bed, bath, and beyond. And I'm like, I hear what you're saying. It's not registering. That order of things is wild,

especially in the afternoon. Rudy's mom, I guarantee you Rudy's mom maybe hundreds, if not thousands of times in her life went, my kid's so fucking stupid. I got the dumbest fucking kids.

She brought in an army of tutors. She was like, we got to get this kid up to speed, and we got to do it fast. I had to go through boot camp just to get, like, we got to get this kid into any school. We got to get a passing grade in the ACT. Your mom was like, kid, pick up that hockey stick. Get out there on them skates. Exactly. Exactly.

Quick interruption. I'm going to keep looking at my phone. I think my sister's about to have a baby. She's like, you've got to give me names. I don't have any idea what we're going to name this fucking thing. Do you know the gender? It's a boy. Sumner.

Someone replied first. It went Frank. I don't think it can be Frank with who I'm sitting with Bro, fuck it Name him Name him Homer Simpson Feidelberg

Yeah She doesn't have any ideas No I wasn't saying We have to stop I'm just saying If I keep looking at my phone It's a

It's go time That's a fair issue It's a pressing issue Yeah, you're allowed But it'll take a long time Yeah Oh, we're not gonna get one here She's just sorry

We'll talk to you tomorrow Does that happen Where the baby comes out And they're like, what's the name? You're like, it's in beta testing. Some people do that. Yeah. Yeah. I actually think you should. I proposed the other day because-

It happened with my mom. My mom was born- Oh, right. On my mom's birth certificate, it's Geraldine. And I never knew that until recently. Oh. I learned that last month. And they changed it?

Yep. Because they were like, we don't like it And Kylie Kardashian and Homeboy changed their kid's name too I think it was Wolf right? I think so yeah And then they didn't like how the internet was playing with it And doing whatever they were doing with it So they changed it

That's so sad But I think Well yes that's sad But I think that's what you should do I think it's a ticket for a test ride Yeah Who cares Because also like I think that's what you should do. I think it's a ticket for a test ride. Yeah. Who cares? Because also, I know that my cousins named their kid with the intention of we're going to use his initials.

We gave him a name, but we're going to call him RJ. Right. But then they just didn't because it was just like, we thought we were going to, and it just didn't happen that way. But we don't really actually like that original name, blah, blah, blah. So I think you should be able to like your birth certificate should be like TBA. Right. Or like whatever. And for like six months, three months, whatever.

I mean, it's like the craziest decision. You're going to pick something forever for the rest of their life. It almost should be cooler if it was like Pokemon where like at a certain age you like evolve. Yeah, you change. Oh, I always talk about this I fucking Went to a school I went to a school with a kid Who had like seven names

And that's exactly what it was His parents were like My parents named me this so I could go by blank When I was a kid I went by X I know his name was Charlie but I don't know What the other ones are It was like when I become a professional, I'm this.

But it was changing names, not just Charles to Charlie. It was full on changing names. Chuck, and then you give it all the different versatility. And then you're Charles. And then you can just go like, I love the ones that are like, he's John, but we call him Jack. Those are just two different names. I got a lot of those in this office. Yeah.

Where people just like, Donnie is just like. Well, we just have a lot of fake names in this office. Yes, we do. What's his name? Zach or something? Donnie. His real name is Robert. Wait, Donnie.

Chef Donnie. Right. But then also Donnie does. We have two Donnies that neither of them are Donnie. Brennan Walker. It's a whole fucking disaster. Yeah. Brennan's Thomas or something.

Yeah. Idiot. Dumbass. Whatever your fucking name is. You're Rudolph It's a whole fucking disaster. Yeah, Brandon's Thomas or something? Yeah. Idiot. Dumbass. Whatever your fucking name is. You're Rudolph, right? I'm Rudolph. Right. Because sometimes people do, like, Rudy because they don't want to be called Rudolph.

Yeah. The parents say Rudy, you know? Yeah. People just called me Rudy. My parents call me Rudolph. I don't care. It's both. Why don't we call you Dolph?

Young Dolph. Well, I think it's pretty fucking clear why I would not like that. With a P-H. We're one syllable away from a tough nickname. I'll say this. When I hear Dolph, I don't think of that fella. I was thinking of the rapper. Oh, I was thinking of Dolph Lundgren.

Dolph Lundgren, yeah. Okay, cool. So there's a couple Dolphs before the big H, man. Well, I would still... Let's just do Rui. Let's just not even try that. I was like, what's the big issue? I was like, is it because he has a brown hair?

I'm doing exactly what you shouldn't do when you don't want a name. This is how we're going to call you Dolph. Right, exactly. Did you see, though, the reason I said Sumner? That was the Adam Levine thing. The what? So Adam Levine fucked a chick named... And her name was Sumner.

I didn't know that part. Okay. That's the worst Oh, yes. Okay. And her name was Sumner. I didn't know that part. Okay. That's the worst part of the story. I thought her name was like Jessica. Yeah. Well, it should be. Like, Sumner? What's Adam Levine doing fucking Sumners?

What actually now? No, no, no, no. That makes total sense. But what's Adam Levine doing naming his son Sumner? That's okay. That's the problem. Wait, the girl he fucked and his son have the same name? So he...

Wait, wait, wait. Fuck. I'm sorry. I'm not listening. Let me tell the story in case you guys don't know. He's married to Bahati Prinsloo, Victoria's Secret model. Fucks a million girls on the side. He was fucking some chick named Sumner.

She's an Instagram model. They stop fucking. Several months later, he sends her a message saying, I'm having another baby. If it's a boy, I want to name it Sumner. What do you think? So he wanted to name his baby with his wife after his mistress, and the name is Sumner.

Fast and loose. It's fucking insanity. It's perverted. It's perverted. You're a pervert. Oh, but it's kind of cool, too, though, when you're sharing your first beer with your son. Guess what I named my son.

Just so you know, I picked that name because my best fuck. and your son's like you named me sumner after some pussy it's like wait name sucks dad wasn't i mom's kid yeah like but so different lady differently so i'm reading uh i'm looking at dumas last night and it's like adam adam levine has fucked like everybody and everybody knows it yeah and the the chick who runs that is like you know nobody knows for sure but like they're in an open relationship it just is what it is like there's so many examples of it from you know gossip or whatever but like at some point there's smoke there's fire and they're married

and they don't break up and it's just like yeah they're two amazingly hot people that are in the entertainment rich and famous and they're like they just have sex with just each other yeah okay their other their other kids are probably named after guys that she fucked it's probably like they're what they do you know yeah she they have one kid that's just randomly named one one kid is dusty how does that work in fucking in open relationships particularly in celebrity open relationships like do you just agree that like i'm gonna raise that as my own kid even though it might not be if we're in a rope that might be they might probably gotta try guardrails on that yeah but like i mean how do you

put a guardrail on it like people get accidentally pregnant all the time part of a condom yeah no but that don't work i i think it's gotta be like we only fuck each other for right now you know oh I see I see but even that's like I'm sure it's when the baby comes out maybe they have like seasons cause like you can't you can't get a DNA test

in utero right? no I don't think so no I think it's gotta be that sucks bro I think I think I couldn't be so I think it's gotta be Yeah That sucks Bro I think You know what is I think I couldn't be In an open relationship

For that exact reason They might get pregnant Just like I don't know I don't even know I guess once Once the kid's born We can do it

Dude there's examples On Maury Where A woman had twins Two different dads What? It's like a one in a zillion shot But she fucked two guys

In one day And like Two different sperm Impregnated her fertilizer whoa so and i must have been through the moon when he saw i mean it's good yeah like can you imagine can you imagine bro when i got to read the winner of surviving barstool i got like a little rush of like power just like knowing that right when you're in Maury Povich and you open up and you see that it's different fathers.

Yeah. And you're like, I'm about to set the world on fire. Yeah, dude. That's, I'm about to ruin lives but I'm about to set the world on fire. But they'd have to chase me down

like one of the dads who get told it's not his kid. Running around. Cameras would be following me running through the group. I'm like, this is crazy! Doing a fucking dick.

Well, what's funny there though is that like, it's kind of the opposite. Like, nobody wins. Everybody's the dad. You know what I mean? Like, they all got to take care of it. You know what I mean? Yeah, so someone's got to celebrate, and it's going to be me. Forgetting to read this.

Me as a fan. Me, no, as Maury. As Maury. As Maury. I actually think it would be funnier if like, because both of those guys are looking to celebrate that one clip, and instead they're probably just like, alright, well, let's just raise these kids then.

Let's just not be herpes. So let's fuck off? Let's go find some other chicks to fuck? They both just turn and they're like, rock, paper, scissors. That actually would be, would you do that if it was like, all right, let's play that out. Me and you are the dad.

And it's like, we could either both raise one kid here and both our lives suck. Or let's roll the dice. Or we'll do whatever. Rock, paper, scissors, arm wrestle, whatever. And you have to agree, I'll raise both and you can fuck off I mean I would do it just because If we're on Mori Let's make a moment

I think it would have to be to chance too I wouldn't do something where you might have an edge It's like let's make it totally random Roll a dice, rock, paper, scissors, whatever If it was like let's have a foot race. It's like, I don't know if you're fast enough to win. It's got to be coin flip or whatever. And you might have 18 years of freedom, or you might have two babies to raise.

Imagine the coin flip to find if you have two kids. The ultimate, like, ding. Yeah. And you might have 18 years, two kids. I want to do it. I want to do it. Just for the rush. That's like chasing that high.

Two junkies and then you lose the coin flip and kill yourself right away oh god what an episode we're painting he just gets struck by lightning ultimate TV scene of all time god that would be incredible

I need no more to make a fucking cartoon of that oh my god the whole studio just lifts and levitates into space God, that would be incredible. I need Millmore to make a fucking cartoon of that or something. Shit, man. Oh, my God. The whole studio just lifts and levitates into space. I was playing with a stacked deck, kid. Boom! And then he reads the thing. He's like, we actually had an error in the test.

Imagine that, dude. That's even the worst, dude. I mean, with the shit that goes on now with DNA, whether it's overturning crimes or getting people out of jail or paternity and shit, I would go bananas. These people who get out of jail,

Adnan or whatever, there's a million cases, and they're just like, I'm just thankful God I did the right thing. I'd be on the steps of the courthouse being like, fuck all of you. I'm taking all of you down. I want the right thing. I'd be on the steps of the courthouse being like, fuck all of you. I'm taking all of you down. I want millions of dollars.

I'm coming for 200 foreskins tonight. Everyone better be ready. I guess you get, you know, when you're in prison wrongly for, can you imagine being in prison, like, wrongfully convicted, and you're the guy in there going, no, seriously, guys, seriously, I didn't do it. And they're like, yeah, of course, we didn't do it either. I was like, no fucking really.

And then you get overturned after like 40 years, and you're just like, well, you know, God told me. Mistakes get made or some shit. Bro, I'd come out, I'd be like, you guys have no idea how much shit I just learned in there. I'm starting to be a criminal today. You're never going to catch me. Yeah, for real.

Spend that time learning how to pay motherfuckers back the the um the like who was the football player i forget his name brian something who was a football player who was falsely accused yeah but then like he was like gonna be like a first round pick like it like look most people you weren't gonna do anything with your life anyway right so might as well just chill with the boys like yeah have a good time right but the guy was gonna be like a professional football player and it totally ruined like everything for him that i think that was just a sexual like assault i don't think it was like a like a murder or anything but i think i don't know if he went to jail yeah no he was it was rape i think he went to jail for like 18 years and like that and then she and then he got like

access to the internet. And then she Facebook messaged him like, sorry, I lied about that. And he's like, teacher, I'm going to talk to somebody. That's insane, dude. I mean. That story is. That's probably bits and pieces from other. Pretty accurate. Yeah, yeah.

They said. It's more accurate than the plastic taints. The what? The plastic taints The what? The plastic taints I don't know man I got documents here It's not the most inaccurate thing we've said in the last hour I got the documents right here

They said something like 60% of like the world or something Basically The ancestry websites that are out there, like even if you haven't donated to it or whatever it's called, submitted. It's just so much, like someone in your circle has and they can get to you.

They can basically solve like every crime ever now or like the majority of crimes because they can either rule people out or you're connected by some family tree or whatever. It's like all you motherfuckers who gave you little saliva swabs, well, now nobody can commit any crime ever again. Now we're going to live in some dystopian future

where nobody can get away with anything, and we're fucked. Fucking nerds. Well, because you wanted to know who your great-grandma was. Hell no, I didn't do that. I can see you being the guy who does it. What is it going to tell me, dude? See, this is what I mean, though. I'm white well i found out that i have uh one asian

and one something else in me like like one person along the way who cares but uh but now so i was like i'm not doing that but now the fact that my dad did it means like i basically yeah you might as well i can be framed for a crime too dad idiot right giving your imagine giving a private corporation or any entity your fucking dna people don't like text their phone they're like their their bank numbers or whatever but they're gonna give them your dna yeah no it's just so it's just not everyone that does it has the most like mutt dna it's like everyone that wants to do a little bit like British and Irish. Like, oh, yeah. No fucking shit.

Yeah. No one cares, dude. Well, shut up, Nick. That's what I found his birth mom. Whatever. That's different. If you're looking for like a parent than that. If you have a reason.

Yeah. But I guess if you didn't, if you sought out. That's the other thing, too, though, is like you. There's always a grandparent who's like, you don't to do that child put that down it's fine and it's like that's because you were fucking somebody during the war weren't you grandma there's always somebody who's like yeah that's not your real parent but it's also like why am i why am i part moroccan yeah this doesn't add up uh you know that the rude boy likes to dabble in the world of THC, and especially that Delta 9.

You know, Rudy. I feel like Rudy hasn't had THC in his system in 15 years. I remember finding out that Rudy was just on edibles every single day of his life. Yeah. He's just sitting there editing on an edible, which is crazy to me because when I do 3C, the night is over. It's a wrap. I just lay on the couch. I melt into it. into it i don't even i have to get into bed like an old like i have to get into bed get my face and then you're like bro when it hits it's like yes but uh rudy can get

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That is cannabis perfected at 3chi.com. Promo code STOOL5. Must be $21 or older to purchase. What else we got? I'm trying to think of... How's streaming going? Oh, yeah, yeah. We got to talk about these streams.

It's going great. You had to do the... Have you completed that list of things? Yeah, that was the first stream. The first stream I just did, I just made a list of trying to get people in. You had to shit in the shower or something? I had to get in the shower.

I had to eat a button. Yeah, you ate the button. And then colonoscopy. When's the colonoscopy? I'm still scheduling it. The worst part about it is that I thought I had the... Ryan Reynolds has those fucking things full up right now. Yeah, I thought I had the colonoscopy. Ryan Reynolds has those fucking things full up right now. Yeah.

I thought I had the colonoscopy content market cornered, and then someone sent me the video of Ryan Reynolds, and I was like, are you fucking kidding me? The number one guy you don't want to go toe-to-toe with. I was like, are you kidding me? Or maybe you can partner up with him. Dude, I watched a movie with him in it the other day, old movie, like before he was Ryan Reynolds, and he's not, no stretch of the imagination, is he an ugly gentleman? Ryan Reynolds and he's not no stretch of the imagination

is he an ugly gentleman no but he's not but he's not who he is now which is like he got a chin implant is that what happened that's like the rumor

that he got a chin implant there's something dude cause but like that's all I needed to keep moving the goalposts for me is like

I remember when I was like 30 or whatever 28 or something like that and fucking Chris Pratt got jacked for Guardians of the Galaxy I was like 30 or whatever 28 or something like that and fucking Chris Pratt got jacked for Guardians of the Galaxy I was like oh dude was 34 I can do it I'm 34 and now like Ryan Reynolds got hot when he's 50 yeah okay I'll just get fucking hot what you're missing and I would guess he's late mid to late 40s what you're missing in that equation is an army of

people yeah and oh I'm not missing it bro no I'm I just I can still get the money. Okay, yeah, there you go. I just want you to know that. There will be a point you had millions of dollars, but you were like 80. He's 45. So you still do have time to amass millions and have an army of people. I mean, case in point, Commander-in-Chief Dave Portnoy

got rich, got hot. Kevin's always said there's no such thing as good looking and ugly. It's just rich and poor. 100%. I mean, got hot. Yeah. The glow up. Kevin's always said, there's no such thing as... There's no such thing as good looking and ugly. It's just rich and poor. 100%. I mean, there's extreme examples, but otherwise, it's like you get...

You either... You're either just like completely vain and get plastic surgery, or you just like... You're eating better food. You have a fucking personal chef. You have a trainer. You have a stylist. Yeah. Your clothes fit you. They're better. They're a you have a fucking personal chef. You have a stylist, you have a stylist, your clothes fit you. They're better.

They're, they're nicer brands. So it fits you better. And it's just like, yeah, I look better. I'm excited for the future. Cause I think what's going to end up happening is that like guys are going to start like all these girls now are getting body mods.

Shout out Jackie. Yeah. We need, we need to get on that. It's actually last episode. We talked about it with Francis. I'm going to go see an ENT. Cause, cause I, I, what is that? Uh, your nose and throat. It's actually, last episode we talked about it with Francis, I'm gonna go see an ENT. Because I... What is that?

Your nose and throat. Let's be honest, Feidelberg's gotta fix that. It's crazy. It's not even like... I'm actually in such a bad spot. You kind of do have a caveman like Neanderthal. He's got the Roman nose. The Roman nose. Dude, the fucking picture for the thumbnail today

is like my head from a complete side angle. Dude, why do we do this? You look like a bird. Why do we have that one promo poster that's our profiles? Look it. You hate your nose. I hate my neck. I hate my hair.

The tip of my nose. It's a mile long. You look. That's not that bad, though. The one where we are like facing each other like we're almost in a boxing match. Oh, yeah. It's like your nose, my chin. I hate it. And we use it all the time yeah that is a crazy let's expose the two things that these guys hate what are your flaws can we make it a wider picture and show their tits too

you you cross that side profile you cross like three times though yeah it's great that is it's great the back of your ear is fucking huge, dude. It's like the scene in Top Gun Maverick. It's how far that fucking plane traveled. Yeah. Boom. But, I mean, as a guy – we've done a good job, though, for, like, not doing anything and, like, being attractive because we didn't move the goalposts at all which is good but now the bar is very low where it's like right i mean like the amount of guys who are like i put lotion on my skin and i don't look like a fucking disgusting

lizard it's like right i mean we don't do anything right we're just getting past like washing our face with you know hand soap right so if you add on makeup and cosmetics and then some surgeries and some implants and all the shit that they do, we're going to get hot too. But here's my issue with my potential enhancements. I don't think I can lose

this. I genuinely want the surgery for breathing stuff. Like Francis was talking about taping his mouth closed. You text us next morning being like... I strapped my fucking... Francis came in because he broke his nose really bad in a fight. Had one nostril completely blocked. So they redid everything.

Because he said he was waking up every morning dry throat, dehydrated, felt like shit. So they fixed it all. And he learned in the process that breathing through your mouth is the worst thing you can do. and we all do it in our sleep that if you breathe through your nose it's all better he told me all this i go home that night i had take a pair of my kids uh elastic like shorts and i like cut it up and i yeah i taped my fucking thing shut and it does feel like you're gonna die in your sleep because you're like used to it you're like i'm

not getting enough hair but you actually are because your sleep because you're like, I'm used to it. You're like, I'm not getting enough hair, but you actually are. Cause your fat tongue is not like, yeah. So you're, you, you, and you do, I slept like through the night, like,

and I don't usually sleep through the night. And I was like, holy shit. Yeah. It's like, I, I, I want that.

I want that. You're like someone telling me about like this great relationship. I'm like, I want that. Yeah. That's what I want. No, I,

I feel the same. You probably feel even more cause you like the snoring, everything. I like, I long for that. That sounds incredible I can't do it I can't do a conscious

a whole new world let alone unconscious I can't I can't consciously sit with my mouth I am the very definition of a mouth but how the fuck did you not qualify when you did that test

I don't those doctors were wrong we just gotta go to another doctor so if you if you just sit here let's just sit here for 30 seconds and you breathe through your nose you'll eventually be like

out of breath I will 30 seconds I'll be fine but like at what You'll eventually be like, out of breath. I will. 30 seconds, I'll be fine. But... At what point will you be like, I'm not getting enough oxygen? It's a cruel twist of fate that you have a nose that big and can't breathe. And I have a terrible sense of smell. Oh my god.

It's gotta be clogged up. It's useless. It is just an eyesore. It is. You know what it is? It's an eyesore that's just collecting fucking dirt and dust in the air. Like, there's... It's... I can't tell you how useless my fucking nose is.

We should break it. Do you want me to smash it for you? I feel like I'm too deep in the game now. Like, I gotta keep it. Why? I can't fucking come in with a new nose, dude. Fuck that. Dude, all you guys should...

I don't know, man. Dude, Jackie... I think between how long... All you guys should just get rhinoplasty. Just the whole gang? Fuck that. I don't know, man. I think I'm too in it with this nose.

Look at Dave. He totally looks different. But he didn't get plastic surgery. He probably did. Him and Tom Brady. The two guys who just look totally fucking different all of a sudden. And who cares if they did? Exactly.

I think in the future, guys should just get fake tits. Dude, points. Imagine that. If you got in a fucking street fight right now and broke your nose, they wouldn't put an ugly one back on, I'll tell you that much. They'd fix it for you. I'd be like, can't you be the same? They'd be like, no.

Imagine they'd be like, we don't have the resources to make something that big. You have the double their nose. It's like it's actually the double their nose on your face. We don't have the resources to make something that big. You have the double dare nose. It's like it's actually the double dare nose on your face. We don't have enough material. Do we get to keep that? No, no, no, no, no. We're going to make you a human, dude. Yeah.

I'm trying to look. If you could have surgery, what would you fix? I'd get fake tits. Meaning like you want like pecs or you would get fake tits? No, I'd get like nice fake tits because then it's like that – picture that universe where like all of a sudden dudes start getting fake tits. It completely flips the table on every girl. We got them.

We got them at home. Andrew, so the Pints of Pete is coming up. I don't know if it is. It's 9-28 at the Garden. So get tickets if you can. But Andrew Frady has put this picture of him, Pete, and Dave. I mean, it's Dave. It points to me from a while back.

It is great. Yeah, Dave's putrid. I used to say he's unspeakably ugly. And the guy would disappear for months at a time in the summer and come back looking totally different. Come on, come on, come on. He probably went to Brady's guy. I mean, yeah.

He didn't know how to do it. Well, he did get the same hair plugs as Brady. Yeah. Yeah. And the hair plugs. I would probably, honestly, fake tits joke aside, I would probably just get new hair. Just get a whole new. You can have good hair, but you can always get better hair.

Always, 100%. And I think that I'm getting up there where we're on sort of the last hurrah. Like right now I'm good, but then I think it's going to start. Are you taking anything for it now? Oh, hell yes. I was going to say, the people who going to start. Are you taking anything for it now? Oh, hell yes. The people who either don't understand that you have to take it while you have it, or the people

who are like, what if I can't get my dick hard? It's like, well, what if you're bald and ugly? You don't have to worry about your dick, dude. Yeah, and there's pills for that, too. And just keep adding them up. Get Roman.com slash KFC. We'll fix all this shit for you. Exactly. Take the medicines, get the surgeries, do whatever you want.com slash KFC. We'll fix all this shit for you. Exactly. Take the medicines.

Get the surgeries. Do whatever you want. Yeah. Who cares, Feidelberg? I just, I got like, I mean, I got a bit of an emotional connection to it. Oh my God, you are so broken. Let me tell you something. I just want to be able to breathe.

Well, that's like Jackie had the deviated septum. Right. Can you feel a difference yet in that Or is it still swollen and shit So like the blood Instantly like When I woke up The blood like started to

Go down So I couldn't like It's all clogged up But there was like a Two minute period Where when I woke up It wasn't filled with blood And I like noticed

You could breathe more I could breathe significantly better Which obviously I wasn't even thinking about The deviated septum That was like I thought it was kind of fake But I truly like noticed

I was like breathing better Like it was kind of fake. But I truly noticed. I was breathing better. It was cool. And that's going to get... I mean, you're still swollen and shit. I'm swollen. I'm all stuffed up now. Do you sleep well at night? Did you sleep well at night?

Well, I have to sleep... No, because I have to sleep. No, no, no. Prior to all this. When you went to bed. Oh, no. I would wake up and it would be like puddles of drool. I would wake up like the whatever way I did.

You're a goddamn animal, too. Respect. I thought you were going to say what happens with me, which is I wake up like someone strangling me. I'm about to die. I pop up out of bed like, ready to fight. Who's in my room fucking joking? I feel so bad for you guys. I think we all probably could and should use the CPAP machines.

We just only give it to the fat people. But it's like all of us are laying wrong. You know what I mean? All of us aren't breathing right. I can't believe you guys live like that. I never, ever wake up in the middle of the night. Not once. Ever.

And I sleep on my back and I breathe through my nose the whole night. I tried to... Sick fucking brag. I genuinely mean that. Sick fucking brag. I tried to get the mouth guard thing. Because back. I genuinely mean that. Sick fucking brag. I tried to get the mouth guard thing. Because part of the problem, too, is your chin goes in. Your jaw drops, yeah.

So I got the, it's a mouth guard that just has, like, two little things on your teeth, so it pulls it forward. But after a couple days, I started to feel my teeth hurting. So I was like, I'm moving my teeth. So I don't want to have jacked up teeth to maybe open up my throat or whatever. So I was like, fuck this. I don't know. Think about it from the nose's perspective. It don't care about you's betrayed you your own face has betrayed you when they say cut off your nose to spite your face no no it's cut

off your nose to save your face yeah you're gonna cut off your nose because fuck your nose yeah dude just fix you sleep brother i i'm gonna see any aunt an ENT. Jackie, open the door. I'm not going. Jackie walks so you could run. Because it genuinely is like, it is not, look, it would be nice to be hotter, no doubt. It is not cosmetic. I want to be able to breathe. But while you're in there.

If they're like, you're actually fine. That's just how you breathe. All right, well, fuck it. Never mind then. But if they're like, yeah, you're all jacked up. What if they're like, your tongue is too fat, we need to like, shave that.

That's what I think it is. I think I'm a fat tongue idiot. We gotta take a, like one of those cheese grater things, like where you run it and it slices it. Oh,

I'd love to do that. And it slices your tongue off. I'd come up with a snake tongue. Oh, that'd be crazy. Yeah, that'd be pretty tight. Yeah,

that'd be cool. But while they're in the workshop. No, I don't want a split. No, not a snake tongue. I want a thin one. Okay, yeah. They can get into some tight workshop. No, I don't want to split. No, I want a thin one.

Okay, yeah. They can get into some tight areas. Yeah, that's what I was saying. That's why I said it'd be tight. But while you're under the hood on the workbench, you may as well be just throwing a new bumper on there. Yeah. Oh. Now we're really talking.

So, listen. You go in and get a whole new face, brother. Yeah. You deserve it. You've been walking around with that one for a while. Like we said, like an upgrade, you know? Yeah, exactly. It's like Jesus, man.

No, it'd be like Fast and the Furious. Like you walk in a Honda Civic and you come out like a souped up dude. You got a kit. We got a kit on you. Yeah, put a body kit on you. Put some neon lights on you. Bro, we're adding. You guys are already getting me boned up enough.

Now we're adding some Fast and Furious drops, bro. Bro, you going to stop a kid in ostomy? Yeah. That's totally one of those things where you. I know what you're saying where it's like for whatever reason as a guy, you're not supposed to get the surgery. There's a stigma. I always say this about the OnlyFans too, right? Like there's a stigma until you're making 50 grand a month and then you don't give a fuck about the stigma. Right.

So you have a stigma about like surgery and then until you walk out and you look the way you've always wanted to look and you can fucking breathe. And it's like I don't give a shit what you think about me you know 100 i had a procedure done shut the fuck up yeah no it's not like they're taking all your dick or something dude yeah kind of bro we've talked about it i put this bad layer to use dude there's dudes in vegas right now that are just getting like four inches added to them. Like height. Like their legs. Which apparently from what I hear. I knew Zali tried that, right?

Well, yeah. But Zali, you know, I mean. Oh, you mean regular ass dudes? Yes. Like dudes who want to go from like 5'4 to 5'8. They're breaking their femur and they put like a thing in it and they put like extra. Apparently it's the most excruciating. Like it's insane.

It's the most excruciating surgery you can get. One, because it's technically not legal. So you just like get it done. They break your legs and then like add a few inches and then you just have to sit in a hotel room. And just like let it go. And just lay there. Bro, what?

It's madness. Yeah, it's like the same thing as... It's like Minority Report when it gets new eyes. There are like clinics that are doing it now where you're not just like, go sit in a hotel room, but I don't think... Go sit in a hotel room?

You can't even sit, you have to lay. How long are they stuck in the hotel room? Apparently it's terrible. I think it's becoming more mainstream. You have to be exceptionally affluent, but it's literally like... You have to be exceptionally affluent, right? You're like, I'll take three months in this hotel.

Yeah, no, you got to be really, really committed. I think the height one is like, just be a short king, man. Like, don't go through that. But it literally is like Christian Bale in The Dark Knight Rises where he's just in like a cell, like hanging from a rope. And he's like, okay. Five inches taller in three months. That's crazy.

I think to me it's like someone like Zah. Like he had surgeries on his legs. I think they're like bowlegged. It's a little different. I can understand like if you have dwarfism or it's misshapen or whatever. If you're just like going from, like I said, like 5'4 to 5'9 or some shit like that. Bro, just get a personality. Just work on your jokes or something.

It ain't worth... Just be cute. How much is height lengthening surgery? Bilateral femoral lengthening can sometimes cost more than $120,000 while tibia and femoral lengthening combined can be $250,000.

Oh, my God. That ain't worth it, dude. If you could go from 5'4 to 6'4, then yes. That's what I mean. If you're going to stay in the 5, then it's not even worth it. And then if you... I think it's a big difference between 5'4 and a 5'8. There's a lot of girls who ain't even looking at you if you're 5,

maybe 8 for sure, but 5'3 to 5'7, it's like you're already... We're in the same pool, brother. We're in the short end. Yeah. What if I ask a woman, Jackie, what would you think of that? I'd rather ask Colleen. Jackie doesn't even count. If it was like five, eight.

I like a five, eight guy. I mean, I like. You like. You're like five, ten, right? No. How tall are you? Five, six. That was, I like... You're like 5'10, right? No. How tall are you? That was mean. Why?

You're a 7-foot giant. No, I just remember when Jackie was like, I'm so little. And we were like, no, you're not. I didn't say that. I said, like, I'm not, like, super tall. And you guys thought I was, like, all... Yeah, you're pretty tall.

Well, I'm, like, 5'6. I'm 5'6, 7. 5'6, 5'6. 5'6, 7. 5'7 is tall. I'm, like, a tall 5'6. I'm tall6 I'm 5'6 5'6 5'6 7 5'7 is tall I'm like a hot I'm a tall 5'6 I really like that

that guy should start saying that I'm a tall 5'11 you know what you know what I used to say and I everyone thought

it was a really funny joke and I didn't know it was a joke I thought that 5'12 was a real measurement for like years and then 6 foot and then

yeah I thought it went 12 to six. I don't think that's crazy. So for literally my entire high school life, people are like, how tall are you? I'm like, I'm 5'12". And they'd be like, huh? And I was like,

that's just my height, dude. Are you saying I'm higher? I'm 5'12". Why is that funny to you? Wait, so back to the question though, Jackie. Wait, I kind of wasn't listening. So if you could go from 5'4", I think it said five inches, did I say?

Yes. 5'4 to 5'9". Yes. Then do it? Well. Because I think there are girls who are just like 5'10 and under. Like you're not even, you know, so it's like you're already kind of still like, okay, you're going to go through all that and lose all your money to be still below a lot of chicks. But like 5'4 is really short. going to go through all that and lose all your money to be still below a lot of chicks thresholds.

But like 5'4 is really short. And like 5'8, like I was like in love with a guy who was 5'8. He was like my height exactly. And like I just blinded off. So he was not 5'8. But what? He was not 5'8 then. No, he was 5'8.

But you said you're 5'6. You're 5'8. Well, I don't know how tall I am. We need a fucking team. Guess who's getting closer and closer with that 5'8 I don't know how tall I am we need a fucking guess who's getting closer and closer with that 5'10

by the end of this episode every girl always says I just want to be able to wear heels right exactly so I used to be that person and then I like was like blinders on

for this guy and he was like my height 5 whatever and then I was like okay so like it's fine like height doesn't matter but

if he was like 5'4 i would be like well that's kind of weird like i that's no i agree i mean i'm not i am not going to sugarcoat it if you're out there 5'4 my heart goes out to you it is a problem i think that guys like i've also seen guys who are 5'4 who are like the life of the party and fucking awesome and definitely getting laid i always i would never want to be in the middle territory and no one ever agrees with me on this, but I would rather be five, four than be five, six or five, seven. I don't know about five, seven, but I think I agree with five, four and five, six. Like five, four, I think you become, like I said, you almost, you're going to become

something. You might become a superhero. Out of sadness. Yeah. Yeah. Whatever. But it's going to motivate you. 5'6 is just, I'm whiny.

I'm just like, I'm not 5'8. 5'4 is like, I gotta get on my hustle. I gotta get on my grind. Or I become a murderer. I think being in the extremes is good. Like, if you look at Lil Uzi Vert, he's tiny, but he's like awesome how little he is. Right. But also, you're ignoring the fact that he's Lil Uzi Vert.

I know, I get that. Maybe part of that he's Lil Uzi Vert. I know. I get that. But maybe part of why he's Lil Uzi Vert is because of that. Dude, imagine there was some dude running around acting like Lil Uzi Vert who was not Lil Uzi Vert. You'd be like, this little dude better fucking chill, dude. Yeah, he's wearing like a panda backpack. You have to do that, dude.

You gotta get extreme. Who do you think you are, bro? Lil Uzi Vert? You're not. Be fucking regular. You gotta be extreme. package you have to do that dude you gotta get who do you think you are bro lil uzi vert you're not be fucking regular you gotta be extreme if you're if you're a short king you gotta be extreme with your style would you rather be eight feet tall or five feet tall i'd rather or no that would be like four feet tall eight feet tall or four feet tall jesus i mean i guess i'd rather be four feet is very very small so i'd rather be eight feet tall i think i think i'd rather be four feet is very very small so I'd rather be eight feet tall I think I think I'd rather be what's that was I was like four and a half right I have no idea because like

I mean Zaha lives like an awesome normal life yeah and I think it also helps that Zaha rules well yeah but I think he you know he just owns it and he's right but I think that's part of it I think you know exactly maybe if he was just like a five foot seven six dude he'd be like you know Well, yeah, but I think he just owns it, but I think that's part of it. Exactly. Maybe if he was just like a 5'7", 6' dude, he'd be like, you know. Yeah, Jackie, would you care if a guy was 5'3", and it was just awesome? Yeah, she would. I would love him as a human, but I don't think I would. I don't think you would give him a shot, but it would be like a movie where it's like, no no and then he wins you over because he's fucking awesome

if Harry Styles was 5 foot 3 you wouldn't care let's say he looks let's say he's exactly the same but he's not famous but you're getting he plays music and he thinks and acts the same and he does everything but he's 5 foot 3

yeah great lover yeah I'd give it a go and he does everything you know but he's 5'3 yeah he's a great lover yeah I'd give it a go I'd give it a go so I don't know I don't think you would give it a go

I think it's the opposite I think it's either like I'm in love with you and we'll try it I don't think you're just gonna like fuck a 5'3 guy I can't do 5'3 that would be like

that would feel like fucking like a child like that would like that would be weird this is so devastating to hear there's some guys out there right now who are just like yeah I know

that's just devastating there's a guy who there guys out there right now who are just like... Yeah, I know. That's just devastating. There is a guy right now who killed himself. Sorry. Okay. Jackie. There is blood on Jackie's hands right now. No, I would give him a chance. No, he's dead.

It's too late. He's dead. You don't have to do it anymore. He's dead. If he hasn't pulled the trigger yet, don't worry. He's going to find someone better than Jackie. Well, yeah. Again, just find somebody who's more...

You know, it's because you need somebody who's confident enough to be with you. We forget. Not that. We forget. I mean, we don't forget. We talk about it a lot, but we don't really think about it. Like Tom Cruise, all of Hollywood, the biggest stars that people go to bed at night dreaming that they want to be

are tiny dudes. Zac Efron, yeah. And like he said, they became – yeah, he's a little loosey-foot, but he wasn't at a time. There was a time where he was the tiny, annoying guy. There was a time where Tom Cruise was just a tiny weirdo. It was a time when – I mean even like when I found out that Eminem is 5'7", it blew my mind. Eminem would walk in here and would be like, oh, hey, little buddy.

Let me put you in my back pocket. And I thought – Yeah, bro, Kim's kicking your ass. Yeah, right, right. You're not driving Kim across the country dead in the passenger seat. It's you, bro. You're like, everybody's tiny. She was driving.

He was in a booster seat. He's like, I'm going to strangle you. She's like, you're going to need more help. DMX, God rest his soul. I got to get to your neck. Pardon me, please. I got to get to your neck. So don't worry, Short Kings. You're fine. But if you got a big schnoz, fix it.

Oh, God. All right. We can wrap it up here. That was a great episode. That was fun. Thank you. So tell the people you're streaming on Twitch. Yeah.

Are you playing games? What are you doing? Yeah, I do. I'm what they call a variety streamer in the biz. Okay. So I do a lot of different things. As I understand it, I think it's the hardest, realest thing that we do is to get streamer viewers. Yeah, getting Twitch viewers.

Even just getting a few hundred is like, holy shit. Yeah. Well, there's full-time streamers out there that are doing it for years that have been to an audience of like five to 20. So for me, it's gone. Yeah. 20 people? Oh, yeah. And that's their job?

It's notoriously – well, no, they probably have a side gig, but it's like their full-time hours, like really putting effort into it. They make money? No, not really. Okay, love of the game. But it's notoriously the hardest platform to garner an audience and like i was expecting to get maybe like 20 to 50 yeah and it's been like hundreds every time so it's gone better than i ever could imagine look i'm i'm privileged in the fact that like obviously i have sure sure but it does not surprise me that uh that you that they keep coming back yeah no you're one of the funnier thank you here and and

you do have a weird wealth of knowledge and and all that shit it's a universe i fit into yeah and so it's gone really good i've been having a blast about being like content first like are you were you always like a a camera guy no fuck okay you wanted to no but i just like wasn't uh skilled enough or like had the confidence and i spent my entire life on hockey i didn't have like a content like i had in the back of my head yeah but i understood that like i had to like get in and like learn and sort of like just listen to people and then like kind of get to lay the land and like build confidence so i understood that and i like doing stool scenes it's like a lot of fun. And so it wasn't an issue.

And I just saw the Twitch thing. I was like, this seems like something that would be fun. I think I could do it. And it's gone well. And it's like one of those things where I didn't put a ton of pressure on myself. It was like, this just seems like a nice, fun, creative outlet. And it's gone. That's how it usually works.

You start that way and you treat it that way. It will work. Right. Because in the beginning, I was like, I got to make a funny video. how it usually like works you start that way and you treat it that way it will work right because like in the beginning i was like i gotta like make a funny video and like i gotta like get like the views got to be up every single time but i had like no real good direction or like vehicle and i was like oh this twitch thing is like i'm a huge fan of it i understand the world i mean that the gimp video and shit is like so it's one of the funniest videos i've ever seen put out like yeah i will be like if i were rudy i'd slit your throat It's one of the funniest videos I've ever seen put out. Yeah. What was it like?

If I were Rudy, I'd slit your throat. So funny, man. It is not a universe that I envisioned. It was one of those moments. That's why live streaming is awesome because it's like creates these moments that you can't really replicate. Right. Because it's like live. And if you can do live, you can do like anything. You can go do a pod or whatever you want.

I think you should just keep doing live. But if you can do live shit and be funny like boom, boom, boom, you can do anything. Yeah, no, it's gone great. Yeah, so I do a variety. I play games like last night I said I wasn't going to turn off the stream until I beat Fall Guys. And the time before that I was up until 2 a.m., couldn't beat it. It's a game for children. Yeah, I mean I have 10-year-olds that play it.

How long did you? And last night I was grinding my fucking dick off again until like 1 a.m. couldn't beat it it's a game for children yeah I mean I have 10 year olds at play how long did you and last night I was grinding my fucking dick off again until like 1 a.m. and then randomly I just got it win so we're on to the I mean I remember remember famously Smitty said he wasn't gonna stop yeah he's just stopped yeah I was on a Smitty trajectory and I was like this is bad but like people obviously love and then when you win you I mean it's like a glorious moment oh I celebrate I rip my shirt off. I literally rip my shirt off because I was so happy to be done with that fucking game. But yeah.

Do you want to schedule? I'm trying to like work out a schedule. I feel like it should be something that you do regularly. Yeah, no. Right now it's three days a week. And then one of them, two of them are me just doing some sort of like challenge where it's like, if I don't beat this game, I have to put on the gym suit or I got to do this or that.

And there's. Why do you have a gym suit? I just was like, this would be funny. No, but why do you have it? I just got it for the stream. for the stream oh for the stream okay i just thought it was just something you had like it's like it's a good time to reveal that i just i just happen to have a gimp suit yeah no it's like i may as well put good uses no it also seems like one of those things i'm gonna buy a gimp suit for the stream yeah no i i'm not into bdsm but um uh so yeah and then so my plan right now is to do three days a week, two of them where I'm doing some sort of silly challenge like that,

and then the third one is I have a guest come, and we just chop it up. Let's go. And you're doing this all from your apartment? The whole setup's in my entire apartment. Luckily, shout out to the Barstool Sportsbook, I never would have been able to afford my setup if I didn't have a good gambling year last year, which is not advice I would send out to people.

Responsibly. But it just worked out. I have this massive whole setup would you drop on it close like two grand and it's like my like literally my apartment now is kitchen twitch bed which is kind of like how i love it eat sleep you know easily yeah stream whatever it's it's it's sleep stream eat sleep stream but yeah it's been a ton of fun and it's like the coolest thing about twitch is that there's like just no like it's a completely open forum like you can do anything like last time i was playing fall guys the next one you can just react to videos you can just do all these like you feel like pressure to like be i guess you get the chat reaction right so you know people like that's the coolest the coolest thing. I feel like I would just be boring.

You think that. And when I describe it to people that don't know about it, like my parents, they just can't comprehend it. And when you're describing it, I get it. You're like, yeah, people just watch you do things and watch you play video games. And it's like, how is that entertaining? But it just weirdly is. You know when people say that, though? I grew up watching people play video games until it was my turn.

I wasn't really a gamer. I was like, I'll just watch people play video games. That's what I'm saying. It was my turn. I wasn't really a gamer. I was like, I'll just watch you guys. Yeah. And I'm doing it now with my kids. He says, do you want to come watch me, Dad? And I'm like, yeah, I'll watch you. And then he can't do something. I'm doing it.

He's watching me. It's like, you're watching. I mean, we watch sports. It's like somebody doing. You're watching somebody try to accomplish something. Right, exactly. And it also, nowadays, a lot of people get older. They love video games,

but they don't have, they have a job, they got shit they gotta do. They don't have the time. And games nowadays, the skill gap is crazy. All these kids are like, I don't think it's too,

I'd rather watch someone who's okay. I can't even follow the people who are really good. It's a lot like foreplay with Trent. I always told him, it's better to, breaking 100 is better than watching somebody

who's a scratch golfer. 100%. And nowadays with Call of Duty, back in the day, you could just hop on Call of Duty and play, and it was fun, and you were, like, average, even if you didn't play very much. Now it's, like, it takes, like, two years to even download the game because it's, like, 200 gigabytes, and then you've got to, like, learn all the guns, and it's, like, you're not even having fun. John said he, like, couldn't get out of the first, like, screen. Oh, yeah. He would respawn, get killed, get called the N-word, and be done. Right, exactly.

So, like, streaming is nice because it's like, I like Call of Duty or I like this game. I can just watch this guy play. You get that same fix from it. So it sort of fills this, like, cool little area in between where it's, like, YouTube, it's like radio, it's like podcasting all in one. And you can, like, have it on and, like, be doing other things.

I've always wanted to. My brother always tried to get me into it. I've talked to Nick about it a little bit, but there is that, like, I always, I wanted to do something where if I could play old games and be like a nostalgia but you can i know but i also i don't think it works as well as like when you're playing the new games and i feel like there is a there is just straight up intimidating too much yeah there is an avenue for it's like i had an idea because i love like story-based games like ones where it's like you're in a movie yeah

and one i really wanted to do that i never played, which is apparently, like, one of the best games Rockstar ever made that, like, launched them into the Grand Theft Auto era was Max Payne. Yeah. Oh, I actually fucked with that game. Yeah. So I never played it. And so I want to do, like, a whole thing where, like, there's so many people out there my

age that don't, they've heard of Max Payne, but they don't know the story. So I'm going to do, like, a cinematic, like, playthrough. Yeah, you're watching the movie. And there's, like, a mod you can get on your PC where you download Max pain you get a new mod so it looks really good cool so that's like going to be a fun one so you can play you can play old games i mean you can the coolest thing about it man is that like if you have an audience and you like are passionate about something yeah people are going to fuck with it yeah you or you can make them fuck with it right right and so yeah no it rules and um and it's something that like you know that we always are trying to crack through in the gaming world.

That was just a lucky thing, too, is that we have guys that are gamers. Like, EmRax is a hardcore gamer, and that's sort of like the original Twitch thing. But now the just chatting portion of Twitch is bigger than the gaming. I was going to say, that is where people can shine. Yeah, and Twitch right now is in, like, a civil war. Like, this week week for whatever reason. No, no, no. It's like this whole gambling thing exploded on Twitch with like this massive controversy with one of these big time streamers was basically borrowing money from all these other streamers for two years.

And he borrowed $300,000 just to gamble with. And he was using like offshore stuff. It was a really sad story. And then the whole thing just like blew up and came to a with. And he was using like offshore stuff. It was a really sad story. And then the whole thing just like blew up and came to a head. Wow. And then Twitch has been in this massive argument with gambling for like years

because they allowed gambling on there through Stake, which is an offshore. And so all these creators were like, we can't have like an offshore doing this stuff. Like a lot of creators were like, we can't do this. But then it's sort of like the OnlyFans thing. The guys that were doing the gambling

were getting like millions. They got fucking Drake. Like this gambling company had enough money to buy Drake and get him to do gambling. So then the whole thing came to a head and then people were throwing. Drake is out here plugging like promo code Drake for fucking $20 off your first bet sort of thing? Yeah, it's crazy. What? Yeah, no, it's crazy.

How much money does a man need? That doesn't surprise me. I wouldn't think he's using promo codes. I don't think if he's just putting up a bet slip be like yeah pay me 10 million dollars whatever i fucking put up a bet but i know he has been tweeting bet slips and stuff like that yeah that makes more sense and it's like what i also learned is that like it's the it's the bedrock of the internet like everything that comes to the internet comes from twitch like it just like you don't know it but it's like the reddit place it's like yeah it

really is the bedrock internet so like this week in Twitch was just fucking nuts. Like you got guys. You should do a segment called This Week in Twitch. It's, I mean, dude, LSF Reddit page is like one of the most like insane Reddit pages I've ever seen, which is livestream fails, which is like the hub for like Twitch drama. It's wild, dude. Yeah, I need you to be like my internet Sherpa and go through that. I will walk you through it as best I can.

Yeah. But, yeah, no. So what's the name? It's just the same as my other handles. It's Rudeboy underscore Junda on Twitch. Follow the boy. Follow the Rudeboy. One of the best in the biz.

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