KFC Radio - SAFTB 2.0: A Zillion Beers, Swappin Parts, and Jason Biggs

Episode Date: February 11, 2020

KFC and Feits discuss the emergence of the new Saturdays are for the Boys: A Zillion Beers. They discuss Dana B's performance this past weekend promoting the brand and his negotiation to reach a million dollars in sales in order to get 100 grand from Dave. They recap the Oscars from the subpar opening jokes to the multiple wins for Bong Joon Ho and Parasite. After watching more Designated Survivor, Feits is convinced he has the solution to fix the government. Adolescent/Dadolescent returns as Feits tells the story of his trip to Aruba this past weekend and how he was almost detained there. KFC tells the story of his first Daddy/Daughter dance. Voicemails include: Valentine's Day Gifts, Swapping Parts, and Mall or Homeless Jason Biggs joins the show and talks in depth about working on American Pie. He shares what moment made him the most nervous in his career. He also tells an incredible story of when he tried to have a threesome.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. It's another edition of KFC Radio on the Barstool Sports Network, brought to you by 1-800-Flowers. I told you to do this last week. I told you to order them. If you didn't listen, you're a moron, but don't worry, we got your back. You can still get it done now. Valentine's Day is just a couple days away, but away but 1-800 flowers is so nice with it they're going to get those flowers there on on time wherever you want them delivered to your girl in front of all the people that you can show it to to make them happy because let's

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What is this? Thank you. Yeezy, what does it say about him? Yeezy alumni. It's all Kanye West runs the fashion industry. These are all people he used to work for. I feel like that's almost like a Trigg special, it looks like. Those are great cartoons.

Who have we got on there? If you're watching on Gold, go to BarstoolGold.com. I actually don't know most of the people. Salehi? I'm not going to miss people. I mean, there are some you would know. I mean, I guess. Is Virgil on there?

Yeah, Virgil's on here. Donci's on here. Jerry Lorenzo's on here. I mean, that's a bit much, no? These guys all came from his coaching tree? I think so. I don't know. It's like boys.

That's what the shirt says. So I'm going to go with it. Your kimono's nice, too. Oh, right. I got kimono Monday. So this is the kimono. It looks just like a fucking... Yeah, I wouldn't have guessed kimono.

Well, here's the thing. These things. Oh, I like those. Yeah. I like those. So I think you're supposed to, like, tie it. Oh, yeah. Tie that shit up. Like this? okay all right so i'm turning full fucking geisha right now on ksu radio

and then the other one you got another one fuck yeah you do i think i did it wrong but whatever no i don't think you did i think you did it right you like it are you being sarcastic no i mean it looks ridiculous but i like it well that's, like, you should do this now. It's just a cardigan that you tie up funny at the bottom. Kimono Monday, let's go! I'm a kimono guy now. Fuck yeah. All right, huge episode because we got Jason Biggs on the show

who tells a story you may have heard if you've ever, if you follow Jason Biggs and his wife because they're, like, funny normal couple or maybe not normal is the word yeah yeah but they're yeah the exact opposite inspiring uh a very ridiculous story about him and his wife and their sexual exploits as well as the entire backstory on fucking a pie uh getting in trouble on twitter his whole career very very we did that interview after Rob McElhaney. And, I mean, for me, I figured Rob, you know, there was never going to be another interview that even comes close to it. And, like, a day later we did Jason Biggs.

I was like, that was a pretty fucking good interview, too. No, it was two hours later. Yeah, it was the same day, right? That was a monster day. Ben Schwartz was the next day. And he was also awesome. He's coming Thursday. He'll be coming up.

Yep. So we got heavy, heavy hitter guests going right now. We also got to talk about the Oscars and Fights His Trip. Feidelberg told me he fixed the government, which we'll get to in a moment.

But the news of the weekend obviously here in the Barstool world was the Zillion Beers movement, which is officially on and rolling with Dana B spearheading it. I'm just so happy for him because he's just such a dope. You called him an alcoholic golden retriever? Yep. And that's exactly what he is.

That's exactly what he is. He's just like a loyal fucking, I don't want to say puppy, because he's a grown man. He's like an a loyal fucking, I don't want to say puppy, because he's a grown man. He's like an old golden retriever. And I couldn't be happier for him. I'm heavily invested in his negotiating tactics. I don't know whether they're good or bad. I hope he makes it.

So, I mean, if you're under a rock and somehow you don't know, Zillion Beers, Dana B., number three, has been saying forever now. Actually, the original story, it originally came from a softball team. I didn't know that. Softball team back where he lived, Hingham Mass, I think it is. Yes. Their name is Zillion Beers. And he just thought that was funny. So like a year ago, he just, that was always, Dana's been saying that forever.

I'm going to go drink a zillion beers. And it became his catchphrase, which then gained some steam on Twitter. And I had told him I felt the very same way about the early stages of SAFT, Saturday for the Boys. I felt like he was on to something. Dave gets a hold of it. And I'm interested to see where you fall on this. Because having fights being able to talk about here is like the ghost of Christmas past and Christmas future.

And, you know, it's happening again. Dave gets a hold of it and didn't like that Dana was a behind-the-scenes cameraman and editor who was now frontward facing in the spotlight. So I think he was trying to, like, kill it. Yeah. Like, this is a classic Dave situation where, like if it works whatever i get money but i feel like if he had his way that friday night he put that ultimatum on him he said you have to sell 30 grand worth of merch in a night or i'm shutting this thing down i think he wanted to shut it down i think he did too right absolutely because i mean

you know on that same radio bit the revisionist history on saturdays for the boys was fucking bananas well oh i haven't heard it. Yeah, well, so I maybe... Oh, boy, I gotta hear this. It wasn't that bad, but I took umbrage with the whole segment because Dave was laughing at it. Dana said to Dave,

he was like, I don't know, KFC told me that this felt like the same way Saturdays for the Boys was on Twitter, and Dave was like, KFC. Listen, KFC's not exactly a marketing genius on Twitter. And Dave was like, KFC. Listen, KFC is not, he's not exactly a marketing genius. Okay. And I was like, I feel like I, I market pretty well. As a matter of fact, I feel like, like that's the only, I'm not that talented.

We're not that good. I feel like we just market well. So fuck off. I think I am kind of good at it. So then I'm, then I'm listening with like, you know, this, I'm like being spiteful about it. And he was like, Saturday for the boys was immediate. it just happened it was like done yeah right and i was like well no right and wrong right it was it was a meet it immediately got attention it like the day after i tweeted that

like midnight on a friday night i think and the next saturday i spent on the couch retweeting gifts everybody people loved the gifts it was It didn't turn into like a movement. That took like a month. Dave didn't even know. That was immediate for you and the people who were actually living the Saturday for the Boys life and now the Zillion Beers life. They've been on it. I mean there's a reason why he was able to make this money is because they responded to it right away. I think both cases, it's just the phrase.

I don't know what it is. I don't know why. And this is why true marketing geniuses can come up with this shit. But Saturday's it for the boys. Friday's it for the men. Saturday's it for the phrase. I don't know what it is. I don't know why. And this is why true marketing geniuses can come up with this shit. But Saturdays are for the boys. Fridays are the men. Saturdays are the boys. It's like a fun thing to say. And zillion beers sounds stupid.

And Z. It's got a Z. It's like literally a fun phrase to say. So I feel like Dave does not know that every weekend you were out trying to do something like a wild video scene to like keep promoting and keep. Yeah. He wouldn't. They wouldn't give us money. You paid for it.

Right. It was. They wouldn't give us money to get the helicopter and get it, have it written in the sand, which was like the one of like the turning point weekends. It was. It was. That was when it really like started like a tipping point or whatever. A lot of people.

The first weekend was, I forget. There were four weekends. We did like cliff jumping. We rented a yacht one time. That was like a rented a yacht one time. That was like a... Rented a yacht and just threw girls off the boat and yelled, that isn't for the boys. Like on the second floor balcony of a yacht.

Fuck out of here. That isn't for the boys. And there was a helicopter and there was skydiving. The skydiving might have been the big one. I don't know if that was in the right order. Right. But whatever it was. But the point was, that's a fucking month.

That's four weeks of Vidalberg, like, continuing to push it. And Dave being like, he was like, I don't get it. When we showed him the original merch. Dave did not want to make T-shirts. The Saturdays of the Boy, Saved by the Bell, like, the main logo. He was like, no. Right? I mean.

He, Dave, I don't think that was the first t-shirt we showed up they were like calendars one was like the old iphone calendar where it was like uh it's like saturday note on it yeah yeah yeah uh which i still think is very pretty pretty cool um but the he was like i don't get it like we're not gonna do t-shirts i don't know what the point of it is so i'm listening to this segment i'm like he's already kind of taking a shot at me now he's just making up how saturday for the boys'm listening to this segment and I'm like, he's already kind of taking a shot at me. Now he's just making up how Saturday for the boys went. And this is the same thing.

Like, Dave didn't get Saturday for the boys because he wasn't... He didn't really drink. Yeah. That's a fine thing. And I was,

you were like, obviously living it. I was like, still like tail end of that. Now I'm not like the zillion beers guy, but I fucking see it and I get it. I can tell that the kids who are guy but i fucking see it and i get it i can tell

it like the kids who are doing it are responding to it it's easy to respond to because dan is passionate about it right it loves to drink well that's the thing it's an intoxicating thing so what's what's what's the difference i think is like you obviously like to do all the shit that you were doing for saturdays with the boys but it was a bit like you know you're not on a yacht every weekend you're not skydiving a weekend You were like trying to make like a spectacle of it to like be like this is what life's all about. This guy is doing that. He is drinking a beer like that, whether there's a camera on or camera off, whether he's doing a movement or he's not. He's doing that thing where his mouth just completely fills up with beer and he just gulps it down.

Zillion beers is SAFTB 2.0 in every sense, but in particular the sense that I wish that's what Saturday Night Live Boys was. I want to just be in a room getting drunk alone. Yeah. That's what I like to do. Right, right. That's my shit. You overextended yourself by doing things. Right.

You should have. And this is where, I mean, I jokingly said about his negotiating tactics that he's going to end up being like a Harvard business school case study. Like, was this a good move or a bad move? But I think the whole thing could be a case study like was this a good move or a bad move but i i think the whole thing could be a case study and i would i'd be fascinated by someone who's smarter than me to break it down i don't know why but all of his videos are just so fun they yeah it's his passion yeah it's like it's like it's like a element of like goofiness and happiness and gen and gen engine he's so genuine about it that i can't help but like what did you see the one where he like was like looking at the things on the ceiling

no it was like i i missed i missed most of it because i was i was away well so this is this was what's funny too so i've been i i reached out to dan a couple weeks ago and i was like yo this is i i'm feeling it you know so every now and then he's kind of like mentioned it to me and been asking me questions and stuff and he came to me when it really started to pop off and was like, yo, this is, I'm feeling it, you know? So every now and then he's kind of like mentioned it to me and been asking me questions and stuff. And he came to me when it really started to pop off and was like, like, let me know what you think. Like, guide me on this one. I don't know how to, like, I'm not sure about merch.

I'm not sure about social media. And I said to him, I was like, I think you should maybe let it breathe now. Like, done a lot of videos. We got the ball rolling. Dave gave you the exposure. Now, like, maybe retweet a couple things that are like major or really funny or really important.

Make a couple videos. But just chill out because you don't want to overdo it. Luckily, Dana B. took my fucking advice and threw it in the trash and made 100 straight videos. I would have never recommended that. I would have been like, yo, you're going to kill it. I'm very much of that, too. I'm a let it breathe guy. Sometimes that's the wrong move.

It was the wrong move here. It was the wrong move because I'm a let it breathe guy sometimes that's sometimes the wrong move it was the wrong move here it was the wrong move because I was thinking about it the wrong way I was thinking about someone trying to make a video I'm gonna try to be funny I'm gonna try to push my brand

I'm gonna try he's making a video of what he would be doing and saying so in that case you could put a live stream on and film the whole fucking thing

because you're not you're not acting you're not like trying he was just there's one where he i think he's filming the ceiling and it's like um there was two like fire alarms or something like that and i think they look like tits or something and you just feel like tits and chugs the beer i was like god that's so stupid and you can't like you can't root against him you know what

i mean like there's nothing i'm very much rooting for it oh yeah well so if you're not rooting for dana b to hit a million dollars you're a bad person you're like you're a bad bad but i would say this if there was maybe one person and i'm sure maybe some people have said this to you or it's definitely a thought i've had if dana walks away with 100 grand cash000 cash on Saturday, when everyone famously knows you did not walk away with $100,000 cash for a movement that probably made a hundred times what Zillion Beers has already made. Saturdays with the Boys put the second floor of the Barstool Sports office there. I mean, Saturdays with the Boys, yeah, it saved the whole fucking company. We moved in at one floor, and Saturdays with the one floor, and then we were like, you know what? We're going to buy a second one.

So there are similarities, but Zillion Beard's got a long way to go before you reach my boys level. But you're a better man than I am. You're a much more C'est La Vie type of guy. I would probably be having some thoughts of like, man, fuck this. I wouldn't be rooting against him but i if i was in your position i would definitely be like boy this this kind of sucks but i knowing you i bet you just have pure genuine love for well there so here's the thing motherfucker first of all i'm good so like you know that as far as the you were like in the gutter worldview works i'm good right

there's like uh it's fine and but the um what 100 of me wishes that I had, I guess, that negotiating bravado. Yeah. Or at least option. That was never a thing. The other thing, too, is you got hit at the wrong time because there wasn't money to burn. There wasn't games to play with money. It was like, we're keeping all this shit. Yeah.

There weren't merch bonuses. I ended up getting one retroactively but there weren't yeah it wasn't even the five thousand dollar rule right and i mean in hindsight you know this and this is why everybody should fucking kiss vital works feet every single time he walks through the door like we buy the second floor and we have an entire second floor team to then turn this place into what it is and you know that could have been so you think about if that was $100,000 that goes in your pocket that now goes to like two more salespeople or another $100,000 to bring in one of these top people. But it's also like it goes into the company and that's why we're here now.

That's what I'm saying. So like 100% of me wishes – yeah, of course I wish I could have made money like Dana Bates. But 100% of me has no resentment or anything like that. Right. Because fucking people who like think that other people have to have it hard or have it, like, yeah, it wasn't great that I didn't make money. It's kind of famously funny. And it's actually great podcast material. So it's, you know, it always, like, is a joke.

So it's, like, a fun joke to have in our back pocket. Yeah. But the, like, I don't want anyone else to have to go through that. Yeah. I mean, not go through it. I didn't go through it. Right. You know what I mean?

But, like, I want other people to be able to have merch bonuses and hit shit like that. I think people can often conflate or confuse the idea of you can be mad or bitter or just like, oh, fuck that, about a situation that you don't have to apply to Dana personally. I don't even think fuck that about the situation. No, and I know you're totally fine with it. But again, if I was in your spot, I would probably be like, this is bullshit that I didn't get to cash in. But I would never root against Dana because like you just said, you don't want someone else to go through that. Then you're just being a true – I always joke about misery loves company when it comes to sports team sucking and come in the mud with me, walk in my shoes.

But if it comes down to an actual money in pocket for working hard and having your come-up, I don't want someone to be held down. We say with blogging, we've kind of said recently, oh, people should have to blog before they get a podcast, before they get a radio show, before all that stuff. And I agree with that because of – I just think it made me better. I was going to say, that's actually – I'm looking out for you. I'm telling you the way. I think it made – having to do that ourselves i think made us better at our

job if that was just a punishment like i want you to sit there and blog for no reason there's no reason you should have to have like people who don't like you everyone who comes after you their life should be easier that's like that's the way the world should work yeah it should be easier you should be able to make more money you shouldn't have to fucking grind and shit like that like we have more money now right you should be able to make more money. You shouldn't have to fucking grind and shit like that. We have more money now. Right. You should be able to get some. Right.

That's fucking the way that we – I don't want you to have to walk fucking – Two miles uphill both ways. Yeah, uphill both ways. No, I want you to have a fucking flying car. And unfortunately, you – it doesn't – the way the world works is things get easier. There's more money to go around and people make more money. And unfortunately, it does not work retroactively. No one ever says, well, let's go pay back the guy

from this time and that time it's just not gonna happen so don't you know don't hold your breath i've gotten a billion tweets about it everyone's like how fucking i am not pissed at all if you tweeted me that you gotta realize most people would be you're you're the anomaly here you deserve credit for actually fucking dickheads i know you're right but most people are and most people would be salty and like at least secretly you know maybe maybe say it but secretly they'd be like fuck this kid fuck this movement if you are the rarest weekend or if you've ever busted my balls about my side of the boys stuff go buy zillion beer stuff i want dan to hit this very very badly what a guy i mean really not many again a lot people would probably say, it would be like a third of people would,

no, not even a third. It's probably like 50% people would be salty and pissed off. 49% people would say, oh, no, I like Dana. I love it. I want him to hit, but secretly or salty. And then there's like the 1% that are just like, no, man, this is awesome. I mean, I'm not, I wish it happened for me. It didn't happen for me.

Let's make it happen for someone else. Right. But again, you got to realize that's not how most people think. Most people don't think – Why not? Why not? If you don't think like that, why not? Most people are not going to say, huh, something good didn't happen for me.

Well, I want to like make sure it happens for someone else and it doesn't matter that it didn't happen for me. That's just not what people think. You people are mean. Yeah yeah i mean most people are selfish and mean and rude and salty and bitter but um you know it's it's incredible to see a display of uh of of generosity and friendship it's not even generosity i'm not even like i'm saying you go spend your money on john i'm not buying the shirts i'm gonna get them for free but you go buy zillion beer shirts so uh what would you have done because like you just said famously there was no like money or there was not even a chance to negotiate would you have taken 25k for 100 was it 25k for 100 grand no for 250 for 250 uh yeah because he initially turned down like 100 for 10 or something

like that or he missed out on the first merch bonus and then it was if you sell 250 grand of shit this weekend you get 25k which he hit and then said fuck it i think i think that decision might have been zillion beers inspired i don't know like i really as much as he drank and he went on barstool breakfast this morning and was like honestly guys i think i had 75 beers this weekend i and maybe this sounds stupid to me i don't think he was ever like out of control like there was never a moment i was like yo put your phone down because you're blacked out and you're tweeting and filming like he so like i think that was more the high of the the rush not like i'm drunk and making stupid

decisions he was just like i'm the zillion beers guy we're going to the moon um would you have would you have done that i probably wouldn't because i don't have the balls but i think it's cool that he did i think it's cool that he did i he's by the time you hear this podcast he'll probably be at like 450k so we'll be halfway there on Tuesday. And I think he'll get a big push from the weekend. Yeah. But like – Does he have until Sunday night? I think so.

Yeah, Sunday night. So he gets like the entire weekend. And I mean part of me thinks like absolutely. And then part of me also is like that $600,000 more to go is like a huge hill to climb. And the scariest part is like if you make it to like $889,000 and you don't get a dime, you know. And this is where it's so annoying that when Portnoy loses, he wins. Right. Like he can sit there and think whatever he wants to remember about Saturdays with the boys and take whatever shots at me or Dana or anybody else.

There was this conversation this morning I did not care for. Dave was worried about, like, you know, he was talking about, he's like, Dana, like, came in my office and was drinking a beer at, like, 10 a.m. Like, we can't just have, like, the drunk guy running around here, you know? Like, you can't just be drunk. And a couple of the other guys in the office were like, oh, yeah, I mean, he looks pretty rough this morning. And, like, I'm like, yo, he had himself a weekend. He went out.

He's at work, right? He might be drinking at work, but he's here. He got here at 7 a.m. Yeah. Got here hours before anybody else, was sitting at his desk editing, went into Dave's office of sound mind to have a conversation. It was being filmed, so it was a little bit content. But he was like talk. I overheard him talking about numbers numbers and content and and finances and

shit like if he was like puking in the office stumbling around i'd be like yeah damn we can't do this i mean he did what like most of everybody at barstool at the age of 20 whatever he is is doing maybe a bit more i've done it much later like come, come on. He's fine. Until there's like a real problem, until stool scenes or the documentary or whatever is like fucked up or the edit was terrible or he pukes on my shoes or something, I think he's fucking totally fine. I totally agree. I think that some people around here have got a little soft with the benders.

Yeah. You got to keep up with the benders. Now listen. Drink responsibly, of course. Drink. You got to keep up with the benders. Now listen. Drink responsibly, of course. Drink responsibly, but do it on a bender. And part of this job is staying in touch with the youth. The lifestyle, man. My dad still pops on pop music.

92 Pro FM will pop it on. Got to know who Billie Eilish is. See what the kids like. We got gotta stay hot We gotta listen Watch the new shows Every once in a while You gotta go on a bender too

And just Just to be like Look Yeah I drank a lot this weekend But I'm here on Monday I'm not feeling great But I'm here

And I'm not gonna shame Anyone else who does it When I was that age I was drinking a thousand beers Okay And then you came along You probably drank A million beers

Now the kids are drinking A zillion Now they're drinking a you probably drank a million beers do you want the brand to be billion beers well then you come back to 1998 it's 2020 it's zillion beers man that's what the kids are doing proof is in the fucking pudding so uh let's get behind it and like you know like i said it's it's almost like the initial offer it's like people aren't really you're you're rooting for it for real we want it to happen for real i feel like there's some people out there who are you know saying one thing and hoping for another get behind the zillion beers movement for day to be number three he's the average double double one time right i don't think people understand how impressive it is that he put up 12 and 10 in his senior year okay he's a big body down low the absolute best part of it and how you know that it is that he put up 12 and 10 in his senior year. Okay. He's a big body down low.

The absolute best part of it. And how you know that it is so pure and real and genuine. And as if, as if a golden retriever could text Dave Portnoy, the hair deal. Did you see this? Okay. You're going to love this.

This is so fucking funny. So Dave and Dana are negotiating the, the whole, the whole weekend, weekend right i know he cut his hair but i didn't know that i thought that was just i think he said it was inspired by david andrews right well so here's here's what happened he at first he he was using it as like a marketing ploy i believe he was like if you um if he said to the to, to the kids, something like, if we hit 250K, I'll get a mullet. Okay? Whatever.

Put that over here. Over here, Dave Portnoy is texting him, and he says 100K for – he says 25K for 250. And Dana says, let me think about it for five minutes. Waits on it for five minutes and then says, no my hair deal stands and dave says what's your hair and dana says 200 by eight o'clock i get a mullet 300 total i shave it all off and dave says so that's a deal with yourself and he goes he goes yeah i, but I'm sticking with $25,000. So he just has his own. See, and that's the thing. He has his own standard.

He has his own deal with himself. And he's texting. And Dana's like, I don't know or care about your hair deal. And Dana's like, the mullet's fine, but the mullet stands. Like, okay, dude, I don't care about your mullet. It's like Kramer just taking the free coffee. He's got a deal. And then he goes and he gets the mullet it's like kramer just taking the free coffee yeah and then he goes and he gets the mullet and and it was really funny because uh i i kept telling him i'm like you know this is i'm i'm

seeing all the same signs and i the movement and the and like you're just like my buddy john and then he has the mullet and he tries to do the racing stripes and i was like you were literally starting to look like he was looking doing this it's wild he totally butchered the racing stripes really but i had mine professionally done but the mullet looks good i mean if it suits him well he does have great hair and that's i mean they're just so funny when he's got a cigarette in the shower that's so funny and he like he like you know runs his hands through his hair and shakes it off i showed it to my dad i was trying to explain zillion beers to him you know he keeps up with barstool but sometimes i can tell where he just like checks out he doesn't get it anymore and so i'm explaining it and he's like not really getting

it and then i show him there's one where dana put the 30 rack over his head and then he had 30 rack on his hands and he was just like we're doing it baby and he's pouring it like on his face not his mouth and my dad was like oh okay i get it now i get it yeah i know this song yeah and give him the oscar we'll talk about the oscar in a second my favorite one was him pretending to be drunk do you see that one he was like no he's filming he's like oh my god i'm so fucked up i drank a zillion beers. Guys, I'm too fucked. Wait a minute. No, I'm not. I feel great.

I feel totally fine. Let's drink another zillion. And then he did another one where he was like, people keep telling me, mix in the water, man. Mix in the water. And so I've been thinking about it. And he flips the camera, and there's a water and a butt heavy. And he's like, he reaches for the water and so i've been thinking about it and he flips the camera and there's a water and a butt heavy and he's like he reaches for the water and goes not like a classic not joke what

misdirection m night shalaman over here with the twist ending is just so pure and so real i love the kid to death i i uh i hope and i i just hope everyone is giving it an honest shot from merch to management to the rest of the company. Like, do it for real. I'll buy a Zillion Beers shirt. I'll buy one. I'm going to get the one. I'm sitting here saying support it, and I'm not.

So put my money where my mouth is. I will also do that. The flags is a game changer, by the way. I do feel like the flags are something where you get that extra push because there's only so many T-shirts and hats you can sell. Spring break is coming. Get them for spring break. St. Patrick's's day it's a good time of year but again it's just tough to like you know you can have the stars align and not hit a million you know it's like and and dave is such a motherfucker that if he gets like 900 and like 78 000 he'll be like no man it wasn't not 100

you know so um fucking support the brand zillion beers make. Make it happen. Dana B., number three. Unreal. Give the kid the Oscar. We're talking about the Oscars next from Kendra Scott. Our Oscar segment is brought to you by Kendra Scott. It's Valentine's Day. You got to get your girl something nice,

and Kendra Scott is the only way to go. We've been talking with Kendra Scott for a while now. They've supported our show. They've been a heavy supporter of Chicks in the Office. So if you or your girl at home are a big fan of their show, you've got to return the favor and support Kendra Scott. It is our favorite jewelry brand. And what I like about Kendra Scott is I know, again, we're talking about how old you are and if you're still in touch with things and you're up on the trends and you got to stay young i know if i go to kendra scott.com and i get some jewelry that it's going to be on trend it's going to be in style it's going to be fashionable they're uh

quality stuff they're cool they know what girls want they know what what the right look is so you can just rest assured whatever piece you pick out from kendra scott you're uh you and whoever you're giving it to is going to be happy. It's a brand built on family, fashion, and philanthropy. So good people making good products for you to give out good gifts around the holiday season. So for Valentine's Day this year, take care of every girl in your life. It doesn't have to be the girl you're with. It could be your sister, your mother, your aunt, whoever it may be, your daughter.

Maybe I'll go grab a nice little necklace. Oh, you know what? That's what I'm going to do. I'm going to go get a locket for Shay. I'm talking about getting a locket for her with a picture of the whole family in there so that she's always got it around her neck. So I'll be getting a locket for my little baby girl. If you've got any daughters or someone in your life you want to make happy this Valentine's Day,

go to KendraScott.com and use the code KFC, and you're going to get 20% off your purchase. So along with the flowers and the chocolates and the dinner date and the special plans and all that, make Valentine's Day a memorable one by going to KendraScott.com and use the code KFC to get 20% off your order. Last night was the Oscars. Fights was in the building here doing a live stream with the Lights and Camera Podcast guys. A deal that was

absolutely preposterous for you to agree to it. You're the last person who should be doing a gross-out, fear-factored, gag-reflex puke thing. I think I might have had a zillion beers before they pitched it to me because Jeff Lilo took me and Marty aside and pitched it. We were talking about it last

night on the stream. He was like, there was shockingly little pushback. He was like, you were both just like, okay. Did you understand the scope of like, you can put anything in there?

No. Well, that's probably why. You were just like, oh, it'll be something gross. But you're not thinking about like, fucking grasshoppers being mixed up in there. I mean,

he said like, it was, it wasn't like, oh yeah, we'll put like two different sodas in there. He was like, it'll be disgusting stuff. And we're like, word. It was, I don't know why we agreed to it so quickly, but we did. I mean, he said, like, it wasn't like, oh, yeah, we'll put, like, two different sodas in there. He was like, it'll be disgusting stuff. And we're like, word.

I don't know why we agreed to it so quickly, but we did. I don't know. What I think is important. I did. I mean, I was the only person who peaked last night. Well, naturally. I didn't even drink it. Just by looking and smelling and being around it?

Just there. Yeah, I just saw the texture. I think it's impressive to just even be on an Oscars livestream because, god damn, that show is fucking long and has parts in the middle that are as painfully boring as entertainment can get. It was very funny because the Heat game, we all bet the Heat game, and I think it was Heat Blazers. And that started at nine or something like that.

And then at halftime, it felt like the Oscars had been over. Right. Right. And I was like, when was it going to end first, the Oscars or the Heat game. And Marty was stunned. He's like, what are you talking about? I was like, I wonder what's going to end first. Which is going to end first?

How could the Oscars possibly end after the Heat? Buckle up, buddy. That's a man who's never watched the Oscars. I was like, have you never seen this show, buddy? Because guess what? It's going to be fucking close. And the Heat game ended first. Yeah.

I mean, I would have bet the fucking rent on that. A professional basketball game started at 9 p.m., an hour after be fucking close, and the Heat game ended first. Yeah. I mean, I would have bet the fucking rent on that. A professional basketball game started at 9 p.m., an hour after the Oscars, and ended before. It's crazy. And I know it's all about the movies, and everyone deserves their shine. But people care about five categories. Right. You can cut down a lot of the other ones.

I said the Oscars is a reverse loaf of bread. A loaf of bread, you throw out the beginning and the end, and you love the middle. Oscars is the reverse bread. Oh, even the beginning last night. Yeah, it was tough. Steve Martin and Chris Rock. I can't believe they agreed to do that. I mean, that was as fake and like, you know.

So the Oscars are here, John. Yeah, it sure is, Kevin. I felt like it was like old timey. Brad Pitsy, he's handsome. Oh, man. There was one moment. I wish I remember what it was. It was like towards the end.

Steve Martin like said something that was just like, I know you don't believe that. Like that, you know, that's not a joke. That's not a, you're just reading the script, like whatever it is. It was funny. Chris Rock talked about Bezos was funny. I feel like. But that was also like half the show was Bezos. Half the thing was like was bezos half the yeah i guess because amazon just funds these things now or was he like i don't know he's always amazon prime he's just a billionaire he's like i'm gonna go to this

fucking shit yeah yeah but i mean it makes sense now if amazon's getting into the entertainment game that he'd be like i buy this shit but i mean jeff bezos is so rich he got he got divorced lost half and he's still the world's richest man and And they cut to him, and I think it was his son, and they're yucking it up. God damn. Dude, money really does solve a lot of problems. Like, oh yeah, we got divorced, family's fractured, but everyone's got $120 billion, so whatever.

I mean, even that, everything was so... It sounds almost rude to say about... I mean, not rude. It is rude, but it sounds sacrilegious to say about Steve Martin and Chris Robb was so hacky. I'm not saying anything about bezos i want my packages delivered on time fuck on dude i mean and i know you know maybe it's just like secure the bag but both you guys are rich right i know like it's an honor but you've you know what i just can't imagine why they agreed to that i did like dave putting himself in a mousetrap. You see his tweets? He was like,

Janelle Monáe, you didn't even know her, he just said, this girl feels like a really, really, really, really poor man's Alicia Keys. He's on this Alicia Keys kick right now since whatever the latest thing was. The previous award show, yeah. And just a year ago,

Janelle Monáe did the opener, and Dave was like, if you don't like Janelle Mon Monae, you've got a big dump in your pants. This girl is electric. And he was like, hmm, quite the pickle I find myself in here. But yeah, even that, she's talented and shit, but it went on real long. How about the dancers in the background who had to wear the Nazi uniform? Yeah! Must have drawn the straw backstage.

Seriously, man. Can I be fucking Chick Joker? Chick Joker, by the way, fucking mentally unstable with an ass? Hello. Sign me up. Sign me up. Let's get my number, please. Thank you.

Yeah, I saw the one with the Joker in the background, and I was like, that's my speed. Hello. The Oscars in general, I feel like they missed on uncut gems. People were mad about them not being involved. I mean, Sandler was the star of the weekend with his speech at the Independent Awards. The Independent Awards, by the way, needs to be a must-watch. Did you see the guy who went up with the sandwich in his hand? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Don't give a fuck about that shit. It's great. And that's the anti-Oscars. And that's what the Oscars usually is, like so stuffy and kind of like everyone's smelling their own farts and the Academy decides. I fell asleep, so I don't know. Was this the first year that they added the, like, most popular movie award? I believe so. What won that?

Oh, wait. No, I don't think they had it this year. I think last year they added it. I don't remember it being there. Because there was no, like, hubbub about it this year. Yeah, I don't think they had it this year. I don't think they added it. I don't remember it being there. Because there was no hubbub about it this year. I don't think they added this year. I don't think they added this year. So, like, I mean, that was the one thing I remember thinking.

All right, the Oscars finally recognized that, like, it's almost the Rotten Tomatoes critic score and audience score. Like, we need something that represents the people. I feel like last year they added it just so they could give Black Panther something. I don't remember if Black Panther ended up winning. Yeah, that's pretty much. So that was the Black Panther, like, year, and then they just got rid of it. I guess so, yeah. Because usually it's kind of like, all right, I know that this was, like, a masterpiece.

Or maybe it was a fix because Black Panther never won won anything maybe they added that after i forget i always just felt like it was black panther related they announced it and then they never actually did it oh really yeah they pulled it within like a month of announcing it wow okay so uh but all that being said it i feel like Homeboy from Parasite running the table was almost like a moment. Bong Joon-ho is a legend. But he made it very clear to me that to be a legend, you just have to drink a zillion beers. Yeah. I mean, to be liked by the public, you're 100% like – I think it happened before – he went heavy on the drinking references.

He started the night, he's like, I'm just going to talk about drinking. Well, listen, I think it's – you don't speak on the drinking references. He started the night. He's like, I'm just going to talk about drinking. I think it's, you know, you don't speak the language or well enough. You have the interpreter. He looks like he speaks English. I said that. I said that on the last one. I don't think this makes sense. But his facial structure, I think he speaks English.

That guy speaks English. That guy speaks English. That's like the baseball players who just don't want to talk to the press. So they have an interpreter. That guy speaks English. It becomes like endearing and a little bit, you it's a weird like if you see someone talking through an interpreter you're not gonna like go at them or you know what i mean it's just like it's a smart play and then and then you know he probably was like all right i'm gonna win if i win i'm gonna go up there and talk about

drinking and then all right i guess i gotta i'm gonna drink more yeah and then he started it on the red carpet they asked him what song he's gonna sing at his character he has karaoke and it had karaoke at his party And he was like, it depends how drunk I get And Twitter was abuzz about that And he gets on stage, he's like, I'm going to drink tonight And he gets on stage and wins the game, he's like, I'm going to drink tomorrow morning And I know

It's all you have to do Every time The Rock just does something, he's like, I like tequila Oh, he's just like us I get that, I also like tequila I feel like tequila. I feel like him winning Best Director, people are not going to be happy about that. You talk about Dana B and being happy for him and shit.

There's no way Quentin Tarantino is cool with this. That dude thought he was going to win. Why? Once Upon a Time in Hollywood was just okay. That movie stunk. I wouldn't give it a stink I was entertained by it but it would have been compared to the hype

like it stunk the first half was just like just clips of movies that don't exist it was just like a rambling like yeah

I mean and I guess if you're like into the movie making like that's cool how they incorporated but I was just like what is this about it's just like two people

and then eventually Leo set someone on fire with a fucking flamethrower it was fine but the best parts if I mean mean i guess leo had if leo was the secondary character and brad pitt was a star of that movie and the whole movie was about fucking uh whatever his name's life yeah that movie's way more interesting than whatever was happening that's why i liked him brad pitt winning once it starts when once he goes to the ranch then the movie gets yes remember the ranch right the movie's good but that's a lot before that.

I was like, what's happening here? I was hoping for a little more of a gazelle speech. Didn't really, that speech didn't really do it for me. No. It wasn't like a cool moment. But I liked that he went, how the fuck is Mr. Rogers supporting? Who the fuck is Mr. Rogers? No, I mean, obviously not.

So clearly there must be a reason. But when I saw Tom Hanks as Mr. Rogers as supporting actor for the Mr. Rogers movie, I was like, how is this? It was – I read the article written by the guy who's, I guess, the star of the movie. And it's a real – he's the guy – we've talked about this before. He's the guy who learned that Mr. Rogers kept diligent notes of all his friends and stuff like that. So he's almost like telling the story of mr rogers yeah yeah yeah he was uh the original article he wrote was for esquire i believe and it was basically it was it was given to him almost as a punishment because he was such like a cynical asshole his editor was like go hang out with mr

rogers and it like changed his life um so i guess that's what the movie's about um obviously joaquin phoenix wins and then goes up there and shames people who drink milk fuck off that was like i can understand if you're a vegetarian and you don't want to like see animals slaughtered and or you wear fur or you know vegan for all those reasons like i can't even drink the milk now like like milking a cow he i'm supposed to feel bad that that milk was supposed to go to the calf like i don't think the calf is draft is fucking dying of thirst i think i can drink some of the milk too you dickhead do you know what's gonna happen to me i'm gonna become a vegan because they're gonna win me over i'm just gonna get so sick of it i'm like fine okay i'll stop

fucking stop drinking the milk i don't really care that much fine if you become a vegan i follow about it at all i'll fucking kill you i follow multiple people on twitter on instagram who are vegans and it's it's a lot uh and it's gonna end up i'm gonna fuck up i'm gonna drown in it i'm just gonna be like fine all right i'll fucking stop with the fucking cheeseburgers fine just leave me alone but to extend it to even the milk man? Like, fine. So you can't... Vegan is anything that comes... Like, milk is like... You're not hurting the cow.

No. It's just weird. I feel like if you didn't milk the cow, it would explode or something. We're helping the cow out. Yeah. Fuck it. It's super weird. Don't get me wrong.

When pregnant women have milk in their breasts, you have to get it out, right? Pump it out. Because they get in pain. Right. At least that's what happens in TV shows. Yes, for sure. breasts, you have to get it out, right? Pump it out. Because they get pain. Right. At least that's what happens in TV shows. Yes, for sure. Usually the husband has to suck it. And it's like a funny moment when they spit it out.

So everybody's team milk now, huh? Well, listen. Now you finally come around. What do you mean? I'm not team drink a gallon. This guy drinks an inordinate amount of milk. You got a hank belly? Big gum belly? milk you got a hank belly a big belly like like he you know he'd come home from school and drink

like two pints and have two craft singles on a bag of chips that was a snack with milk cheese and chips it was weird it's a lot of milk my mom used to come home with like with like six i just want dairy please pretty much she used to come home with like legit six gallons and it would like fill our it would make three rows of two on our like top fridge and it's like we have like a newborn or you know i'm flying through milk because i have two kids when you have like basically grown-ass people you should not be having multiple gallons in your house but you know yeah i'm not i'm not i'm not a mcpoil over here but if you come from my right my ability to even have a glass when i need it fuck off joaquin phoenix jesus by the way i didn't know that river phoenix was his brother did you know that yeah did they talk about that a lot i don't think joaquin phoenix has a lot of

talk about anything um anybody does it makes no goddamn sense yeah i never i mean i knew that but i just i knew it i know river phoenix as joaquin phoenix's dead brother i don't know river phoenix aside from that yeah i i mean i don't know i don't like keep up with all these things like the lights camera guys but like i just never even made that connection. I feel like I should know that. I'm sure he's talked to some people. Very cool name. At length.

It's a great name. Really. I mean. Real sad name to have lost. Someone should have another. He was like, he had like a young Brad Pitt look to him, too. He was sexy as fuck. He was going to be a big deal.

He could have been a gazelle. You know what? Put him in the retroactive. Possibly you been a gazelle. You know what? Put him in the retroactive. Posthumously, you're a gazelle. You earned it, bud. Anything else, Oscars, before you fix the government? Nah. Let's just do that.

Shout out to Boon Joe Hung or whatever. Good for you, man. Feidelberg has fixed the government. Yep. And he's going to tell you all about it. Fixing the government is brought to you by Game Time. It's so easy. I can't believe no one thought of this. It was crazy. Fixing the Government is brought to you by GameTime. It's so easy. I can't believe no one thought of this.

It was crazy. Fixing the Government? Yeah. Are we talking like, you know? I mean, I literally, it's done. It's fixed. Okay. I've won.

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GameTime app for your tickets. Fix the government, John. Okay. Are we talking, like, presidential. Are we talking like presidential? Are we talking elections and shit? We're talking on the local level? We're talking the Senate, obviously. That was silly of me to think anything other than that.

So still watching a lot of Designated Survivor. In fact, I finished. Is that like still going? Or is that a series finale? Yeah, I got canceled. Was it even a finale? Or was it just like, it's over now? No, just got canceled. Does it even a finale or was it just like, it's over now? No, it just got canceled.

Does the designated survivor survive? He does, yeah. Yeah, he does. He does a pretty good job. So now you're an expert on the set. Again, the craziest part about that show, which I knew was canceled when I started, the reason I started it was because I read a thread

about what show did you start because the concept is cool, but you gave up because it wasn't good. And then someone said that in Survivor. I was like, fuck yeah, that's right. I did want to watch that. So I started it knowing full well what happened. It was a great concept. I liked it. I always liked it. It was fun. I mean, it was

Kiefer Sutherland. He's the designated survivor. If you don't know, they put one person aside whenever the rest of the whole government gets together in case something happens and they get blown up, right? Yeah. So Kiefer inherits the government. Only if you were. Oh, boy.

It was first. Only if it were you, we would be fixed. Yes. Because you would be like, you know what? I'm the president now, and I can fix the government. And this is the way things work. What does the Senate do if you're going to fix it? I don't know.

I mean. So there's a lot of backroom dealings in Washington, right? It's a lot of like. Not under the table. It's a lot of, hey, you don't – get me this vote, right? Like vote with me on this. I'll owe you one down the line, that kind of stuff. A little lobbying going on for sure.

But people voting for things that they don't actually believe in just so they have a favor in their back pocket. Right. Votes happen immediately now, OK? So everyone's in the Senate. Blindly, up on a PowerPoint presentation. It says, hey, what do you think about more money for schools? Everyone who votes for it. In the room.

Right away. No going to talk. No going to fucking figure out, hey, give me this vote. You don't even know who proposed the idea. Okay. Okay. Everyone votes. Yay or nay, whatever it is.

At the end, whenever all the votes are cast, it drops down. Bam. Oh, this was an idea from a Republican from Montana. Bunch of Democrats voted for it. Ha ha. Yeah. That's fixed. And then every once in a while, you throw in a fake one.

And if people do vote for it, it's something real stupid. Right? You lose your vote or something. It's like money for Montana. And everyone's like, no, we'll vote for that. That's crazy. And anyone who does vote for it, Ashton Kutcher comes running. He's like, you got pugged. And he shoots him in the head

because they're stupid. That part maybe we don't have to do. But the other part is very simple. Why isn't everything a blind vote? You don't get to know whose idea it was. But the baseball shit, it's like nobody gets to know. You get one chance.

There's no waiting. There's no I'm going to punish you for like five years and make you wait. Do you think he's a Hall of Famer or not? Vote right now. Nobody knows what you said. Is this a good idea or a bad one and it's not it's not totally quiet it does get put out afterwards but you don't know who's like you don't know if it's from a republican you don't know if it's from a democrat it's just an idea you see and then you say i like that idea and you vote for it and then you find out oh that's not my party or who gives a shit well the problem is, so who puts the PowerPoint up?

Because that guy... Speaker of the House. Right, so Speaker of the House is going to be like, I owe this guy a favor, so I'm only going to put this one up. There's always going to be somebody who controls the last point of control,

and that guy's going to be working for him. We eliminate Speaker of the House. You put it up there yourself. Everyone's got access to put ideas up on the board. Oh, that sounds like a clusterfuck. Now everybody gets to pitch all their ideas? Yep.

I mean, we're going to be there forever? Probably. It's your fucking job. You ran for it. Can you think of, I mean, alright, so I come in and I'm like, alright, first up, we're getting rid of milk. Joaquin Phoenix says that it's bad. We're taking the milk from the moms. Put the milk up there, and then you go with the stupid idea, and then he goes with the stupid idea,

and next thing you know, we haven't even voted on fucking like guns and the economy and shit, all the important shit. I mean, you're a senator. You're an elected official. Hopefully you have some sense of being like, well, this one maybe isn't a big deal. A lot of faith in democracy, huh? Yeah. Well, I don't know.

I guess. I think that's just so easy. I just think that's it. That's it. Just do that. And then, yeah, no favors. No favors. No favors. No backroom dealings. It's just, easy. I just think that's it. That's it. Just do that. And then, yeah, no favors. No favors. No favors.

No backroom dealings. It's just, bam, we vote. Boom. I think that you should... I fixed it. I told you. Done. Wait, here's what we should do, too.

I think every four years... Nah, every, like, longer than that. Like, maybe even, like, every, like, 20 years. You got to switch parties. Just be like, you have to be a Republican now. And make them argue the other side of things. Just to keep it balanced. Like, you know, all those things you've got to switch parties. You have to be a Republican now and make them argue the other side of things. Just to keep it balanced. All those things you've been – it's almost like when a lawyer has to defend an absolute murderer.

And they're like, well, I'm not defending them. I'm defending the justice system. It's like, well, you've got to work for the whole democratic system now. I'm going to make you argue the opposite of everything you've been arguing for 20 years. Or maybe we just have free agency. And then everybody just has to be like, I signed to the Republican Party. They're paying me $10 million a year. I'm going hard make you argue the opposite of everything you've been arguing for 20 years. Or maybe we just have free agency. And then everybody just has to be like, I signed to the Republican Party. They're paying me $10 million a year. I'm going hard for the Republicans.

I like that. Like when Britt McHenry and Tommy Lahren, they just signed on. They're conservatives. They definitely did. This is the biggest check for me. I feel like this is not a good way to fix government, but it's an interesting idea. At least you know what's going on. Basketball players in teams.

Like, you know Kevin Durant is just, like, going where the money is. What they should do – He doesn't have any allegiance to his team. They should have that in place. They should float the system so you go to someone and be like, all right, we'll give you $10 million more, but you got to argue, like, against, you know, gay rights or whatever. And then if they agree to it, it's like, ha! That Ashton Kutcher comes out and says, you're bunked! You idiot! We got you! You're out! Not to go too deep in politics,

but that's what Lindsey Graham is doing. You've seen him, like, trashing Trump, and then he wins, and he's just like, well, Trump is like an icon. He's like the greatest thing that's ever happened to government. He literally called him a racist, like, two months before the election. He's just a hired gun. I think it was, what was his tweet?

Like, if Trump loses, our party will be destroyed. I mean, if Trump wins, our party will be destroyed and we'll have deserved it. And he won. He's like, I love this motherfucker. He just sucks his dick. The amount of people who don't realize that they're just getting played during election season is like, God, you guys are so stupid. The real way to fix government is that only 250 people in the whole country get to vote.

That's it. 250 smart people, they get to vote. I mean, very few people vote. There's way too many people. It always comes down to a very small amount of people. Because it only comes down to the swing votes. Right. And then of those people, very few people.

But I just mean in general. 100,000 people. Nobody's qualified to vote. They're really not. I mean the amount of fucking – I don't think I'm included either. I think you need to be like highly educated and well-read. You should have to pass some kind of test. Yeah, big time.

Not even like an advanced test. Like you walk up to that voting group. Like the driver's test. And they answer you like one question. And if you can get that one right. If I say, what does the Senate do? And they go like, I don't really know. You don't get to vote.

They vote on stuff. Not enough. They do what I'm doing here. They vote on things. I'm basically a senator right now. Let me pull the fucking lever, man. Yeah, man, nobody should vote. Everyone's a fucking moron.

Give me a fucking break. But not under the new system. We fixed the government. So now everybody can vote. All set. We can do a blind PowerPoint presentation. That's it. Blind voting.

I don't know if you're mocking me or not. No, I'm not. I think it works perfectly. Let's at least try it, America. What could go wrong, huh? All right. What do we got next? We'll do – should we get into our voicemails before we get into our interview?

I got a few things from this weekend. Oh, that's right. Johnny was down in Aruba. Oh, and I went – we got – we'll do a little adolescent to adolescent for you. It's brought to you by Movement. Join the movement now. Warm weather is getting here. Yeah.

It's approaching. I wore just a jean jacket today. Right. 50 degrees. I mean, did it snow this year? Like, not really, right? It never snows in New York. You people who think it snows in New York are crazy.

Not anymore. It never snows here. It rains all of January. It's been like three or four years since we've had like a big blizzard it's crazy it just it just doesn't snow i think i heard something like it snowed more in like georgia than it has snowed in like somewhere where they normally get snow this year like fucking this planet's fucked man i was watching interstellar i'm like we, we got to get off this planet, man. But anyway, the warm weather.

Back to movement watches. When the warm weather turns, get yourself the tan leather band with the white face. It feels like very springtime-y, very summer-y. It's approaching. So get it now for Valentine's Day for your boo, your guy, your girl, whoever. They have men's and women's watches. And then in a month or so, when the weather starts to turn, you got yourself a nice little spring accessory.

Grab a pair of sunglasses to go with it, because as we know, you can only wear sunglasses when the weather is warm. And next thing you know, you got yourself a whole outfit, a whole ensemble. Did Brie Larson have the fucking show? Holy moly. Come on. Captain America.

Idiots have variety. A lot of jewelry was floating around in the Oscars last night. Everybody wearing like $250,000 earrings. Julia Louis-Dreyfus was blinging. And Julia Louis-Dreyfus has the kind of money that could have been her necklace if she wanted. Right, she's not doing that rental shit.

She probably rented it out to other people. She probably did rent that one. That one's crazy. But if she wanted to buy it, she just could. She looks great. Is she doing well? I think yeah. I believe she's cancer free.

Quote unquote sick. Fucking unreal. But yeah, a lot of money floating around at the Oscars. A lot of rented jewelry that breaks the bank. Not at movement. Everything is affordable while still maintaining that high quality. And right now, when you order for Valentine's Day, they're going to throw in a sleek gift box. So it's prepackaged. Everything comes in this nice box. They got the beautiful watch boxes, the jewelry and watch combos. And you can get a deluxe box that features a watch,

a bracelet, and a pair of glasses all in one. So I say you roll with that. And on top of that, when you use the URL MVMT.com slash KFC, you get an extra watch strap for free and that free gift box. So go to MVMT.com slash KFC, 15% off your order, plus a free watch strap, plus a free gift box when you order yourself a watch. That's MVvmt.com slash kfc johnny jet set it down to aruba sure did um did you fuck that soap

yes did you i mean i put my dick in it yeah i had to check i had to check it put my i put it was a soft dick but i put a soft dick through it oh so did you like thumb it in there and like it was wide enough it goes it went through it. Oh, so did you thumb it in there and pull it through? No, it was wide enough. It went through. It was like threading a fucking needle. It was fun. It was fun.

It was like I could get it. I could get it. I did tell him I cleaned my dick, and I was like, I can keep going. I can see this. I mean, you know me. I'm always worried about the soap getting in. No worries about that because you can have control over it. I didn't actually. I feel like you're saw soap getting in. No worries about that because you can have control over it. I mean, I didn't actually like – it was really just like –

I mean, it's such an idiot child. I was just in the shower all alone. Yeah, try it. Fucking giggling to myself. Well, I got a picture. John sent me a photo of the dick soap, which was just a bar of soap with a hole inexplicably cut through the middle. It was – and the package it came in also had a hole in the middle, and I just couldn't see the soap because there was the cardboard on the outside.

And I was like, someone just ripped the soap out from the middle. Like, where the fuck is the soap? It's so weird. Like, what is the – I don't know. The ergonomically designed soap? I have no idea. I mean, that's for your dick.

It's 100% for your dick. That's dick soap. But John sent me a photo of it, and it was a live photo, which is one of the more dangerous And I was definitely naked when I took that picture. Apple has ruined the world with the cloud and linking all your devices and live photos. Because if you don't realize the live photo, it catches three solid seconds of movement. So John was taking a picture of that and then like moved his phone down and i saw a couple sets of feet and like a leg and i was like oh buddy i'm

getting a dick so picture i'm about to catch the dick luckily i didn't see anything but i texted him back i was like that's hilarious and also live photo watch out pal and he was like oh it was very close but yeah i went down to aruba it was fun um the uh had an had an interesting flight the people sitting next to me on the flight tv is crazy by the way uh no tv no tv it should be a law it should be a law if you can watch two two movies on your flight or fucking vote and everyone has to vote on the spot the duration of a flight is two movies long you legally have to have tvs i would say one movie, man. Like, what? You know. I mean, you know, legality, you leave a little window, right?

Fine. I'll give you. How about one Irishman? Yeah, yeah. Like, a movie and a half, all right? But the people sitting next to me were having a conversation, and it was all about whether they should get it vaccinated, whether they should get it vaccinated whether they should get him vaccinated yeah it was him human child i don't know if he needs it like this i don't know if we

should do a vaccine and the whole time i'm sitting there i'm thinking jesus christ i can throw those people off the like like are you seriously talking about this and then it's scary that like there are intelligent people or you know intelligent in other realms at least, that genuinely think that it's fucking nuts. But then the wife or the woman goes, well, my friend's a veterinarian. I'll ask her. And I said, oh, God, they're talking about her pet. And I was like, wait, maybe they're not.

That's some Kramer shit. Like, well, you know, it's the same thing, basically. I still don't know. I took my headphones off when we landed. So this conversation wasn't like a whole flight long. Vaccinate the dogs, too, though. I don't know. Fucking vaccinate everybody.

But then I was walking into, I didn't know. You know how you feel all those immigration forms? Because it's a different country. And I didn't know where I was staying. Because it's just not a question I ask. I'll stay where I stay. Yeah, yeah. And so I just didn't fill that out on my immigration paper and I'm walking into

the customs line and there's one of the women it's like you know when you're boarding a flight uh or when you're checking in it's like the first person before you get to security the first person just checks to make sure you have your stuff and this woman was doing that with the passports and the immigration papers and she looks at mine and she goes, where are you staying? I said, that's a good question. And she had been letting everybody go through to the easy – you know they have the technical – you just slide your passport, it takes a picture of you, and that's it?

She wouldn't let everyone go through that. And she just opens up a thing and she goes, you go that way. You can't make jokes at the airport. You can't do it. It didn't register to me that that's – I thought it was just random. So I get to the guy at the customs place and he said where are you staying i was like that's a great question like i don't know and uh he's like you go this way very so you know you're in a fucking chamber with a single light bulb hanging from the ceiling where are you staying and john's still like i don't know, that's a great question. You became Frank the Tank.

You were just dropping your one-liner on everybody. Still be coaching lines. But no, he was like, honestly, I need to know. I have to know where you're staying. And I said, I really don't know. He said, you're going to have to figure it out. I said, okay, let me make a call. Don't have service because it's a different country.

So I walked away, pretended to make a phone call, came back and said the Marriott, and crossed my fingers that there was a fucking Marriott on that island. I was about to say Holiday Inn. I was going with Holiday Inn. The Marriott, did it work? It worked. He's like, all right, perfect.

I'm like, you fucking idiot. That was a complete lie. Wow. See, then you would have been really fucked. Yeah, like there is no Marriott. Like, oh, son of a bitch. If there was no Marriott then you would have been really fucked yeah yeah like there is no marriott like all right son of a bitch if there was no marriott they would have been like there is no marriott who did you just talk to and then you would have to say nobody because i don't have service sir nobody and then i'm from america and just landed why the fuck do you think my phone would work then you would have fingers up your asshole like then you would have been they

definitely asked me a lot of questions coming home i don't know if they made a note or something like that like you're in the system. But when I came home, they were like, what were you doing? It was every 48 hours. Yeah. Why is a single 31-year-old man by down here alone for 48 hours? Talk to my girlfriend, bro. He's like, did you spend over $10,000 a year?

I was like, no. He's like, do you buy cigarettes or tobacco? I was like, yeah. I don't know, man. I came down on vacation. I literally got on vacation. I bought some cigars. I drank some fucking booze.

Fucking what do you want from me, man? Oh, man. I wish you were still detained in Aruba right now. That would be very fucking funny. It was very funny once I got there. And the people on the beach, like the tale of me had spread to the beach. Not as Feidelberg of Arsenal Sports, but you got to go see this white kid. Like people were coming.

Now, to be fair, they were like friends of my girlfriend's family and stuff like that. Like they were like people like they knew them and stuff like that. Because you're so white. But they were like, I heard about the really white kid. I had to come see him. Bro, you got to hit the booth. You got to go tanning. You're off-puttingly white.

I was straight up glowing. When I saw those stems of yours in Miami, I mean, that was – My legs had literally not seen the sun in two years. So that made sense. But just everything, it was – I got a little color now, right? I mean, I guess compared to the rest of you. I mean, no. I was out there.

Aruba's crazy because it's so... That's weird. I'm white myself, but I'm just like a shade darker than you. I was there for like six... I was on the beach for just six hours straight. But it's so windy there that you never feel hot. So you don't start sweating and know I should get out of the sun. Did you lube up? Yeah, I 50'd it. Did you go like all over all over the place yeah i i don't do that anymore you think i just leave spots like you know i actually i feel

like a burn on my midsection so i'm just gonna skip that one like yeah i put it everywhere dude i don't i don't do sunblock anymore man it's weird i'm gonna get cancer i know i'm almost i'm gonna go get skin cancer just to piss casey off i'm so sick cancer for you i know i'm almost i'm gonna go get skin cancer just to piss casey off i'm so sick like when she was talking about go get a spray tan i was like i could have but i was like i'm gonna go to the cancer box i want to cook just because i know how much it's gonna drive you fucking crazy uh i can't wait to die from cancer the skin cancer and be like but i got you bitch the, one thing I did do there, I tried the local cuisine

and ate kangaroo. I don't think it's local, but you put kangaroo on a menu, I'm going to order it. I was going to say, pretty sure kangaroos, local to like very far away.

Yeah. I don't know what the fuck there is to kangaroo. Also, I feel like eating a kangaroo is questionable. Really? Yeah,

I feel like that's like mean. I'll go Joaquin Phoenix on you. I can't believe you ate a kangaroo. I ate kangaroo. I didn't really like it. It was carpaccio. I don't really like anything carpaccio, but I probably would. What does that mean?

Like the really thin. It almost gets gooey in your mouth eating it because it's just so thin. I don't eat that. But I feel like it's almost like one step. Koalas are kind of cute, and kangaroos are bouncing around. I think of Tigger and Roo, and then next thing you know, you're eating it. Yeah, you see it on a menu. You're like, well, I got to try kangaroo.

It's not good. I think I might like a steak of it better. I want the whole fucking thing. I just don't like meat prepared that style. Yeah. Is it cooked? I feel like when they do like really thin stuff, it's almost usually like tartare or like uncooked. Good question.

I don't know. I think it's cooked. I don't know. I feel like it probably would have been harder if it's cooked. I wouldn't know shit about preparing kangaroo. Yeah, I don't know. I think it's... I don't know. I feel like it probably would have been harder if it's... I wouldn't know shit about preparing kangaroo. Yeah, I don't know. I feel like it would not be a tender meat. No, it's gamey.

Yeah. It's gamey. But it was fine. I think I would like it. I'd love to try it a different way. I'm just going to stick to eating cows. I've actually had it as a burger. There was a place in my hometown that...

Fucking Iowa, man. But yeah, it's actually pretty good. Yeah, it was I would like it in a different fashion. You guys gonna eat dogs next too? Do you know what the eating made me think of this? So you're on vacation

you're in a hotel room and obviously this is a poop podcast now so at some point you have to poop. There is no greater victory on vacation than when you... Getting away with the poop when your girlfriend doesn't know. When you poop and there's no streaks, no nothing. Yeah. You're just like, yeah!

All right, baby. Doesn't smell. This was just a long shower. Yeah. Yo, the Miami situation was not great for pooping. Miami fucked me up. Yeah. Miami had frosted glass sliding doors.

Imagine basically just like a hallway from your sink to your shower, and in the middle of that hallway was a toilet that also just had two sliding doors. In Miami, you had to announce to the entire hotel, I'm pooping. You had to shut like four doors. It was crazy how many doors you had to announce to the entire hotel I'm pooping. You had to shut like four doors. It was crazy how many doors you had to shut. But I didn't because I didn't have anybody in there. So I would just go. But you had a company.

I didn't shit for like four days in Miami. And then I just like – I thought for a while that I was just done pooping for my life. I just don't do this anymore. I thought I broke something. That's why I thought I was going to have to have surgery and have it taken out. I thought I was going to have to be like, open me up, scoop it out. I don't know how else to do this.

Wouldn't that be great, by the way, if you just had a little door and you just open it up and you just close the door? Like shoveling coal into something? I'm just going to shovel it out. Why do I have to squeeze it through this fucking hole in the bottom? What is going on here? It's a mess down here. You know those cake things?

You cut the paste of the bottom off? You put it in a Ziploc bag and cut the bottom off? Why are we doing it like that? There's a big hole up here. Why don't we just dump it out? Wait. We're making this way harder than it needs to be. Just open the trap door and get the shovel.

It was like a little mini gardening shovel. Now we're fixing government. We're fixing the body. Fixing human anatomy and the Senate today. Good job, bros. What a fucking show. I did not have a jet-setting weekend. By the way, speaking of jet-setting, people are stunned I did it. They're like, I can't believe you went

to Aruba just for a weekend. It's a four and a half hour flight. It takes me that long to get home. Every time I go home, people are like, I can't believe you went home this weekend. This is true. But I mean, I feel like for a flight, you know, well, for a whole, I don't know, I guess it makes, what's the difference? If you break it down. If you spend 24 hours and go to Boston,

not a big deal. But when people feel it when they see that you difference? If you break it down – If you train four hours and go to Boston, not a big deal. But people feel it when they see that you traveled like 2,000 miles. Very far. I had no idea that it was off the coast of Venezuela. I thought for sure it was next to the Bahamas. That's why it's easy to kidnap people. We're really far away from home. You ain't getting home, girl. You're staying here.

I had my first ever daddy-daughter sweetheart dance this weekend, which I totally forgot about, crept up on me, which I have now learned is like a thing, I guess. I feel like the week before Valentine's Day is when these things go down, because I saw every dad I know was talking about it, but just smashed it.

Just absolutely crushed it. I mean, the game will never be the same. Like dancing alone or dancing like slow dancing with Shea? Not slow dancing. I'm a fucking dancer. Yeah, there was times I was doing that at one point. It was the most awkward event ever. So I show up.

It said, you know, like formal attire. It said like jacket and tie or whatever. And I throw on a pair of Jordans because I was like – first of all, I mean I rarely wear suits. So I was like scrambling to like find all the pieces of my suits and shit. Luckily, I had one in the dry cleaner for like several months. Oh, yeah. I forgot about that. So I go and then I'm wearing like Jordans with it and then up to grab to pick up Shay and she's rocking a snow white dress.

So I'm like, OK, it's Halloween now. It's no longer a dance. We're not Robert Kraft. You are snow white. Right. So, I mean, she's got a fake tiara, a fake diamond necklace, a fucking wand and a snow white dress. Like it just said, like, you know, dress pretty. And we went Halloween with it.

So we show up and like every other dad is like an adult and they're wearing like regular shoes and all the other girls are just wearing like you know nice like outfit you know pretty but just regular clothes and shay rolls in with this big poofy yellow bottom and so she's twirling and it's like the the best dress to twirl in you know what i mean and all these other little girls are like jealous you know like looking at her like loving her dress loving that they're trying to twirl and they're like it's not twirling at all and i was like dapping it up with shay like yeah that's right so then and we're going like we're going hard like i mean i don't i don't it was it was very funny because it was probably like 30 couple you know 30 dad daughter combos so it's like 30 awkward middle-aged white men at a dance and i first walk in and we're all dads so we don't like know what the fuck is going on

so it's like you know usually you have your wife or your mother the mother of the kids there and it's like okay here's like let me let me pull up the invitation like here's how it works here's what you're doing we don't know any of this fucking shit, man. You don't have your seeing eye dog, do you? Yes. I was talking to my mom today. My dad's going away for work, and he's stressed about getting to the airport and stuff like that. She's like, I'm just a seeing eye dog.

I take him places and do things like that. Yeah. My mom jokes that. That's exactly what your wife or your girlfriend is. It's just your seeing eye dog. My mom jokes that she's always floored that my dad gets anything done at work. Not just. Girls, you're much more than that but it's a huge but that's like the number one reason why we marry you you know my dad is when he goes to work he's like a boss

you know so my mom always jokes that like he puts on his suit and it's like his like superpowers like he takes it off and he's like a dummy at home he puts it on he's cut he's capable but um i even told all all my girlfriends now like the wives and girlfriends of my buddies like i went to a baby shower relatively recently, and I didn't RSVP properly. I texted her, but I didn't mail it back in. And I told her and the other girls, I was like, I don't do that anymore. That was Caitlyn's job. Caitlyn RSVP'd, and I don't have her anymore, so there's not going to be any RSVPs.

Get used to this. This is how your life works. I just randomly show up. Just always add one more, and maybe I'll show up, maybe I won't. I'll make up for it with a gift. But, yeah, I don't do RSVPs anymore. So, yeah, it's a whole bunch of us without our guide dogs. That's what girls are now, just guide dogs.

And so, like, it was very white. There is not much diversity at this little preschool of mine so i'm just looking around this scene it's very funny and i can see there's like a couple people who are kind of like eyeing me so i'm thinking they know and then i'm like all right whatever man like i don't care though i'm just like i'm here for shay so uh the the dance is playing like taylor swift music from like an iphone there's like you're like you went to the back of the gym like you couldn't hear the music you had to be like huddled up in this one area so the whole operation and it's being run by this this this woman who's like you know like a suburban white mom who's like also trying

to be like a hype man you know what i mean like super awkward being like oh it's taylor swift time like where are my swifties i was just like oh god anyway we started dancing around and shit and it's also they must have just turned the goddamn heat on. Let's make all these white men sweat, too. So I'm like getting hot. I'm dancing with Shay. And eventually I make the fatal mistake of doing the thing. You know where you hold your dad's hand and you run up him and flip over?

Yeah. Yeah. So I do that with Shay a lot. And first we were doing the thing where she stands on top of his shoes. I don't know why I said yeah. I have no idea what you're talking. So I do that with Shay a lot. First, we were doing the thing where she stands on top of your shoes. I don't know why I said yeah. I have no idea what you're talking about. I mean, I can picture it, but I don't know. You never do that with your dad?

I don't think so. So I would hold your hands, and I would walk up you. And then when I get to your chest, I push off, and you flip over. I don't think I ever did that, no. I thought that was a normal thing. Maybe it was just us. I was always afraid.'m i feel like i'm gonna dislocate her shoulders so i do it with shay shay is tiny shay is like a very skinny girl and then all of a sudden i feel like fucking scott calvin in the santa claus remember when he had that one girl sit on his

lap at the park and then he looks up and there's a line of kids oh so all of a sudden i have these strange girls that are not my children. Like, do me next. Do me next. And so, like, Shay has a couple friends who I kind of – that was the other thing, too. I feel like when you're a dad with your kids, it's almost like when you're walking your dog and you run into dog owners. You ever notice when you talk to, like, the dogs and not the humans? Yeah. You ever do that?

That was what was going on. It was like I'm talking to this little child and, like, the dad is right there, but I'm not talking to him at all, you know. So a couple of her like close friends, I do the flip thing. And next thing you know, I got like several in line. And the ages range and like. Size is probably range. Yeah. Right.

And I'm like already worried about dislocating shoulders. And then this one girl is like crawling up me trying to flip. And I'm trying to flip her. She's just hanging upside down. And I was just like, all right, I've got to put down this child that is not mine. We're not doing this. And then I got footprints all over me. I was like, Shay, I need a goddamn break. I was sweating and shit.

But the funniest moment for the night for me was in very dad, there are no fucking rules when you're with me. The whole room was rules-free for the night for me was in like very dad, like, you know, there are no fucking rules when you're with me. The whole room was rules free for the night. We walk in and there's a, on the left side, there's a buffet of regular food, which was weird. It was like marinar, like pot penne with marinara. Meatballs, you know, what are those like brown meatballs called? And they're not like marinara. There's like German meatballs or some shit like that. Oh, yeah, yeah. Like the, like IKEA meatballs. Yes. Swedish not like marinara there's like they're like german meatballs or something like that oh yeah yeah like the uh like ikea meatballs yes yeah swedish yeah so

swedish meatballs those and sushi that was like the real food and i was like shay do you want to eat some dinner and then on the other side was the dessert and she was she just goes no i just want cupcakes and candy i was like cupcakes and candy it is baby so you are my daughter yeah yeah basically but yeah we smashed it it was uh it was very on brand night for us with shay being like dressing up like it was halloween and me like you know being a fucking awkward idiot i just you know i'm always like i like my kids i don't know your kids i'm just here to dance with her i don't i don't want to do it but the amount of dads who are trying to like everyone's trying to do it for their daughters and they're trying to dance and like take my awkwardness and

multiply it by like a million for some of the other people there uh but the one thing i i feel like uh the one weirdest takeaway for me i told john this barstool has grown so big we are now at a point guy came up to me and was like hey nice to meet you i work at barstool that's when you go without he just started but like you know like like if, nice to meet you. I work at Barstool. That's when you go with that. He just started. But like, you know, like if I used to run into someone who like also worked at Deloitte, it's like not that crazy. It's like a big fucking company that, you know, it has been impossible up until now.

And this was the first time I was ever like, oh, OK, cool. Like, nice to meet you. That like blew my fucking mind. Hey, what's up? I work at Barstool. Right. Like, oh, you do. Yeah. I mean, that's the first time work at Barstool Sports. Oh, I do too! That's the first time that's ever happened to me.

It was like, oh, yeah. Me too. Wow. That's fucking nuts. I used to know every person, everything about everybody who came in here because I was probably helping you get hired. Now it's like you can work here and I don't even know until you introduced me at a non-Barstool

event. That is fucking nuts. But uh yeah shout out to all the dads who crushed their daddy daughter this weekend now let's get into some horribly inappropriate uh voicemails all right let's get into our voicemails is brought to you by hydrant so um all the top performers in in uh the world i feel like everybody's got their their story of success whether you're like a top athlete performer or entertainer or like business or even if you're just old you know old people are like well the secret to a long life is you know this that or the other thing and everyone talks about you know uh having a routine having that set thing you do whether you wake up early or you have your go you meditate or the guy who said make your bed every day to me everybody's got like their thing they do but uh you don't have time to do it all and that's where hydrant comes in hydrant will help you jump start your morning

to get that routine rolling uh this is something that should be good for john feidelberg well you know what i mean forget even all about the all about the routine and being a top performer. We are just dehydrated, bro. Like everybody, all of us. We are clinically, catastrophically dehydrated. And I know even you, with the amount of water you drink, I still feel like it's not enough to counteract the rest of your lifestyle. Probably not. Right? So you drink like 10 times more than the average person, but you're also 10 times worse of like a specimen than the average person.

So you got to make sure you keep your hydration up. Me, I mean, I'm like Frank the Tank. No water. Just give me that soda. It's terrible. Can I just have a big scoop of salt, please? Basically. When a hydrant comes around, they help you jumpstart that morning, get into that routine, do it faster, quicker, and more enjoyable so that you're not going to have headaches and energy slumps and poor focus. A lot of people rely on coffee.

That's terrible for you too, right? You don't want to do that. Coffee just gives you the shakes. Just do water. But people do it for energy. But if you're hydrated enough, you'll have energy. So don't do the shortcuts. Don't do the cheap tricks.

Do drink Hydrant because what they do is they have the electrolyte packages that you mix up with the water. That does everything basically faster, quicker, easier, more taste, better taste. And you'll make sure you stay hydrated. So you go to drinkhydrant.com and to the promo code KFC, and you get 25% off your first order. That gives you a 30-day supply. So this will be a first month of you and living your new hydrated life. No synthetic colors or artificial sweeteners.

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So go to drinkhydrant.com. Use the promo code KFC. You get 25% off your first order. Voicemails before we get into our boy, Jay Biggs. Let's do it. What's up, KFC? Fights, Superheroes to be sick. So I've been this girl now a couple of weeks, long enough now that she can make her plans for Valentine's Day coming up.

I talked to her about Valentine's Day and she kind of gave me the usual. She doesn't care. She doesn't want to make a big deal out of it. All that. All I've done so far is I got flower scents at work. They're going there on Friday on Valentine's Day. My question is, am I an idiot

for just doing that? Do I need to take another step? Do I need to make dinner reservations, go out, do a big date night for Valentine's Day or is that all just kind of bullshit that I don't need to worry about? Pretty much Valentine's Day is a made-up holiday anyway, so

I don't need to make a big deal. Every holiday is a made-up holiday. You gotta stop saying that. It's like, they're all, maybe some of them are rooted in something a little more tangible than Valentine's Day, but not really. Every holiday is a made-up holiday. Just every word's a made-up word.

Every name's a made-up name. But I understand the idea of it's all just made up people people thinking that christmas means more because you know it was about the birth of this like religious figure it's like but that's not what christmas is anymore it's about just presents it's materialistic the same way that valentine's day is and thanksgiving no one's actually thinking about like you know what you're thankful for it's about like football and gambling and eating and being a glutton all these are rooted in very like you know selfish or fake or whatever whatever uh reasons um you gotta you gotta do a little more you got you gotta you gotta go out you gotta do something go to dinner yeah so like he's like do i have to make reservations yes you

do yeah fine you gotta you But don't do anything else. Yeah. You don't want to set the bar too high. No, it's like every relationship is like having a dog, right? Where we're staying on the dog. Having a dog? Yeah. Okay. Because you're training each other.

You're training each other. And I'm being trained. I'm training you. It's two dogs. It's like a blind dog who has a seeing eye dog. You know what she does? Yeah. That's what it is.

Dog leading the dogs. Right. And we're just training each other here. You're training me to like clean up and send RCPs and be a real person. And I'm training you to be like a hooker in the bedroom. I'm training you to like when you tell – I'm training you to realize that words mean things. And when you say I don't want anything, let's not do anything, I'm not getting you anything. Got it. That's what you told me.

Okay. And maybe you'll have a fight about that, and she'll learn that, okay, I have to expressly say what I want. Yeah. And I'll learn sometimes she doesn't expressly say what she wants. Right. But if you tell me you don't want anything, I'm not getting you anything. Yeah. You said you didn't want it.

Don't preach that to the people, though. No. I am preaching that to people because it works. Preach that to the women that they shouldn't do that. Don't preach it to the people, though. No, I am preaching that to people because it works. Preach that to the women that they shouldn't do that. Don't preach it to the guys that they should do that. If you didn't say anything, then I'll get you something. But if you say, I do not want anything, I'm not getting you anything. You can do it once.

Like, if she says, I don't want anything, you can be like, okay, we're going to find out. Yeah. Because if she flips out, then you know the next time she says, I don't want anything, she's lying. No, then you have to Fucking hammer it down You gotta Ferberize Ferberize

Whatever it is You cry Fine You said you didn't want anything Cry it out method What do you want me to do You said you didn't want anything Tell me what you want

I will buy it for you Right I'm very easy Logically you're right But The next time she says I don't want anything You're just gonna be like

Why don't you say it again And you're just gonna opt For the crying again We're gonna keep doing it Until like, well, she said it again. And you're just going to opt for the crying again? We're going to keep doing it until you learn words mean things. Sometimes it's like, hey, you wanted the attention? Like, here you fucking go. You got it. Like, sometimes their actions have to backfire.

She should have learned the first time she said she didn't want anything, I listened to her. So if you say it again, I'm going to listen to you again. But then that's you opting into, I'm choosing, instead of just going and buying something, I'm choosing to have a – See, that's what happens. I understand where you're coming from, but I'm surprised that you – like the path of least resistance is to just go get something. Yeah, but sometimes you can't take that path. Sometimes you got to take the road less traveled. You're so right. I just – I don't think I've ever heard you say it. It was like a first where it was like, yeah, no, like it's worth the extra fight or ruin the night or the drama or the week of like the silent treatment or whatever in order to stand your ground and stick up for like the logical behavior.

This is the way the world works. When you again, I'll get you anything you want. Just tell me. And if you say nothing, you'll get nothing and you'll like it. But she's going to be like, I want you to figure it out. That's what I want. That's if you say that that's fine and then and then it's on me but if you say get what get me something you think

i'd like okay then now now i got quite a task ahead of me right but quite the hill to climb but the if you just tell me you don't want something then you're getting nothing yeah i get it i just think that you need to put this out there with a disclaimer of like you're walking yourself into the viper pit and you and you have you're right like you have the the right reasoning and all that i know i'm right i know i got this battle but i also think that you know you have to you have to say say say someone's done this like five years in a row eventually if they're not learning. Oh, no.

I'll dig heels and feet at that point. The real problem, I think, is like year three. Year one, like, all right, I'm going to test you. Year two is like I'm making a point. Year three is like are we seriously going to get in a fight on Valentine's Day? A fucking gen because of this? That's when the real men are tested. How much are you standing for your

principles three years in a row because then five years in a row it's great then it's a game then it's like i'm gonna do this till we're fucking dead but that third year of like you're almost hoping like yeah bitch i'm gonna kill myself on valentine's day just to prove this February 5th 14th the fucking best we go to war every year um but i i i mean so many of us out there are just trying to do the path of least resistance. If you want to stand up for what is right and logical, you do what my friend John Henry is saying to. I don't often stand up for myself. In this stuff, I do.

I stand up for myself. You're smart to do it there because if you're going to pick one place to do it – Every man has got a line. Yeah. But yours usually – and this is why I have hope for you. You're like Anakin Skywalker. I have hope for you. You're like Anakin Skywalker. I have hope for you. Sometimes you're telling me, I'm not going to get bullied into doing this or that.

And I'm always like, yeah, yeah, just wait, just wait. But maybe John's the one. Maybe John's got the – because that's the joke I always say to people. Not just me, me and all my buddies who are – all my crew got married earlier than the other ones. When all my friends come and say their version of reality or they're stick to their they're gonna stick to their guns and it's gonna be different we always all just look at each other laugh and like take a sip of our beer and go oh yeah no you're different you're the different one yeah yeah you you're the one that's different out of the eight billion people and the trillions who have come before you you're the one who's gonna break the mold out of

like how society has locked matrimonial life in you know what i mean you'll yeah you'll be different john might be different john is a different cat i mean he's different in a lot of other ways so maybe this is the one now maybe that's why he's gonna end up dead and alone but like he'll be able to tell that tale like well you're literally dying alone in a hotel room talking yourself going yeah but i didn't get her that Valentine's Day gift. She said she wanted nothing. She got nothing. And I'll die with honor.

Alone and cold, but with honor. People will tell tales of me. I'll be like a cowboy who died with his boots on. They'll tell the story of John Feisselberg and how he refused to get presents when you said he didn't want anything. Yes! Go off, King! Yes! You are are literally gonna die a martyr for us like represent for all the people out there with logic and brains who are just like just fucking say what you want february february 18th the day i die becomes a national holiday yes heidelberg day like you know the steak and blowjob day

whatever you whatever day you die that's when we're going to make that one. Fuck it. I mean, yeah. So you can either, you know, go the John route, do what's right and just and logical in your brain. Or I would say, if you want to go path of least resistance, I would say flowers, dinner. Flowers and dinner. Flowers and dinner. Flowers and dinner, I would get.

That's it. But after that, I'm not getting any stupid fucking teddy bear. I'll say flowers and dinner. If you are a new relationship, I would get some jewelry, like a – nothing crazy, but just like a necklace or something like that if you're new. Like if you're young, too. Remember like going to the mall for Valentine's Day to like get like a K-jewelry necklace. I don't do jewelry. You don't do it?

I think jewelry is – Who's got too much jewelry? Well, I mean that's – the problem is – and that's why I said when you're new. Like if you've gone through – if you're with someone for like five years, let's say. You've gone through five Christmases, five birthdays, five Valentine's Days, and maybe if you're one of those couples, five anniversaries. All of a sudden, it's like, all right, I've hit every fucking – I'm going to get you a toe ring. I'm going to get you a belly chain. I don't know what's fucking next.

If there's something you really want, I'll get it. It's a great fallback. But it's just like, I'm not going to get something expensive that I don't even know if you like. Yeah, but I also think. If you say, like, I love these earrings. I'll buy those earrings. But what I like about it is it's the easiest to guess, I think. Maybe I just have, like, good taste in jewelry.

But I've never. Like, you get a girl clothes, you got to worry about the size and the fit. Shoes, the same thing. Like I remember I once got a pair of Louboutins for Caitlyn and it was like the heel was way too big. She's like, I love these, but like I can't physically walk in these. Jewelry, I feel like you know certain brands. You know certain names. Like you get someone a fucking David Yerman ring, like they're going to be happy.

You know what I mean? So I feel like it's actually the easiest way to go as far as you know making girls happy with with what they are expecting but it is a little but yeah I mean it's I think if you're like married long time maybe a special anniversary or something a special reason you know you you go all out maybe in the beginning you get something extra but those middle years it's flowers and dinner. Flowers and dinner. It's just it's hard for me to because I just don't

like like trinkets and shit like that. I'm a very simple man and so I just don't understand like every I don't like getting presents

so it's impossible for me to get presents because I'm like why would you want a fucking present? The fuck do you want something else? Girls love presents man.

You're barely gonna wear it you're like why the fuck do you want to like i every you know why you know the answer to that because it shows you i love you this much money and who do they get to show that to it's not about you or her it's about everybody else it's about the instagram post or i guess but it's like why you know they want the you know the engagement ring has to be bigger than the friend. It's always based on other people. All these things are really – and that's not saying that everybody is materialistic or whatever. But in these instances, that's where I understand the Valentine's Day, the people who are like, this is a made-up holiday. It's like, yeah, they're all made up.

But I do get the idea of like this is strictly for flexing, Instagram, girls, comparisons, all that shit it's not a wholesome of holidays okay it must be just a tough life to live well it's like you're always you know what's a tough life to live is like you know getting in a fight every single valentine's day because you just literally took her at her word so i live my life it's not that bad did are you are you doing anything for this? No. No. Nothing? No. Has that been – you think that's going to go over well or – I mean, I think so. But I'm saying, are you doing one of your things?

No. No, it just hasn't been brought up. Yeah. So nothing's going to happen. Plus, she's not here. She's in Riverstone. Oh. But wait.

What – is it – was it Valentine's Day? No. She's going to be be there yeah through the weekend oh all right then yes on your gravy yeah i feel like this is the other reason why john might be like the chosen one you get away with a lot like remember the time he wasn't gonna help her move then like something happened that that weekend right where like you wouldn't you're like you didn't really have to anyway oh i forgot about that yeah i don't remember what happened but i remember being like i skated on that one too i'd be like you're fucked i can't wait i can't wait till monday i'm gonna be so

right and then it was like well no this happened and that happened like the weather or something oh yeah we had to go somewhere right somehow we had to go somewhere for work right there was like a there was a logical reason why you were allowed to miss then i was like fuck but maybe you know it'll be like like i have friends uh who are like kind of like cocky and assholes and and they're the guy who everybody always says to them, like, one day you're going to say this to the wrong person, and they're going to knock you the fuck out, and you're going to learn your lesson. And my one buddy always goes, no, I'm not.

That's never going to happen to me. You think I'm going to get knocked out in public one day? I've been doing it for 35 years. Nothing's happened. That's not going to happen to me. And I'm like, he's probably right. He's probably just going to keep getting away with it, and I think you might just keep getting away with you know what i i think and i actually think it's applicable to what rob said the other day when rob was talking about how

he can do like racist jokes and stuff like that because they know in his heart he's not father i can do i cannot do like the things that you have to do because people do them even though like they don't really care like i care i'm just not gonna do that that's yeah yeah it's like i was you know well yeah you yeah, you're actually probably the poster child for how it should be. It's like, I know. Just because,

remember all the other days that I did nice things or loved you or whatever? Like, that's what matters. That's what counts, John. That's what counts. And I'm good at those ones. That was a hell of a discussion

from a voicemail. But I would say get her a fucking cheap necklace. JMC, it's probably Super Nintendo BC. It's your boy Mikey Z again. Quick hypothetical. So you're laying in bed.

You go to sleep with your girl. And you wake up the next morning. And you guys switch just parts. So you wake up and you have her pussy. And you wake up and she has your dick. Do you guys fuck? It's a one day only thing. You have to know what it feels like, right? We don't fuck.

It's her pussy on your body and your dick on her body. If I get basically, like it's with a person I'm in a relationship with, right? That's what you said? Like a girl you're dating? Yeah. Is it your girl? Yeah, yeah.

But I think that kind of matters. Like if it's like a one-time hookup and then we go back, I don't want this like stranger girl to be like, I fucked Kevin. I don't want her going back and telling her the exploits of like how I was throwing it back at her. Okay? I just pictured it. But if it's a committed thing, oh, I'm looking back at it. I'm fucking fucked.

Next voicemail! I'm getting fucked. Putting my ankles over my head, bro. No! No! No! No, stop! Come on.

Maybe you don't have to go all out like me, but you want to know what it feels like to get... I have always been fascinated by the idea of getting fucked. I mean, you have the required tools. You can make it happen. Yeah, I guess so. You can get your ass pegged if you want. I've always just been like, the idea of something filling you up is like that sounds so not appealing to me. But they like it, right?

They love it. And girls are always like, I can't believe you had this thing like hanging between your legs. So they're probably like fascinated by the idea of penetrating something. But I've always said this too. Like I always joke about when they're just like staring at the wall. It's like when you're like bent over or whatever, it's just like, this is, is this even enjoyable for you? I'm back here.

I got a whole thing going here. You're just looking at the fucking wall. What's happening here? So, uh, yeah, no, you gotta fuck.

You gotta fuck. I like how this, I remember the first time we had Asa on the show. Yeah. And she was like, I bet 10% of guys in here like getting pegged. And we're like crazy. And now three years later,

Kevin's like, I'd have my ankles by my fucking ears dude that was one of the more uh like revealing conversations like that was a uh it was like a sex expert who has talked to like every walk of life explaining like no no like some guys like butt stuff and us like young dumb like white fucking frat boy idiots are no way that's gay like five years later me and fights like young dumb like white fucking frat boy idiots are no way that's gay like five years later me and fights like yo yo awesome apology call her up call her up tell her you're right you're right the uh the this is a one of my one of the funnier tweets i've ever seen i think is like uh like hypothetical like what if guys what if girls you know guys girls switch

parts basically exactly this. And it's like, guy, I play with my boobs all night. Girl, I'd go for a run with headphones on and feel safe. Go out alone and not worry about being raped. Who do you, if this happened for a day, whole fucking world, who do you, or I guess it doesn't matter how long or who it happens to. But who do you think would be better with the other person's parts, the other gender's parts? Timothee Chalamet. No. Not what I meant.

I meant like with guys – This is really embarrassing! This is really embarrassing! Guys or girls? Like, would a guy be better at fucking with a girl's parts, or would a girl be better at fucking with a dick? And you say, Timothy, I love men. I'm about to make Timothy shout out t-shirts, bro.

What a fucking moment. I mean, I see where you're going with it, and it makes perfect sense. I saw him last night at thealman t-shirts, bro. What a fucking moment. I mean, I see where you're going with it, and it makes perfect sense. I saw him last night at the Oscars. I thought he looked pretty. He's a pretty boy. He's a pretty man. That guy might have a pussy, bro.

We know. Timothy Shalman. Oh. Oh. Oh. My stomach hurts. And I was waiting for your answer. You're like, ooh, interesting.

I'm like, okay, let me hear. He's got a very thin chin. Like, his chin becomes a point. Soft skin, too. Soft skin, silky, smooth hair. Wow. Give me the chky, smooth hair. Wow. Give me the chalamet. Oh God.

I guess the answer would be girls. I think the opposite. Yeah. Like I feel like the way like, like, I think,

I think we'd be in trouble. I think girls, there'd be a big revolution with like, we got the dicks now. Big time. And we'd be like, if girls like switched and got testosterone and stuff men would be slaves

by well if they take like their brain and they're like their savviness and all like the shit they care about and give them like the brute strength we're done if we were if we were as dopey as we are we had pussies we would be yeah absolutely enslaved it'd be planet of the apes it'd be like like by the week's end the whole world would be completely different. Which is why it's got to be so infuriating for them now. It's like, the only reason I'm not president

is because I don't have a fucking dick. I'm smarter than you. I know more. I'm more motivated. I feel like girls, like the way, like when a girl's on top,

they're not like fucking. They're like, they would have a dick, but they'd like riding yeah i mean i think they i think girls would suck at fucking like guys oh yeah that's why i don't watch lesbian porn yeah like even like you draw a check i'm like you don't know how to fucking do that it's so true if you see like a lesbian porn with like a strap on they're like nah that's not you're not like pounding you're not gonna like girls i gotta pound you i gotta get pounded all right like you can. You're not going to, like, pound. A girl's not going to pound you. I got to get pounded, all right? Like, you can't, like, a girl can't do, like, the jackhammer. Get out of here.

They're, like, rolling their body and moving their hips. No, no, no. It's smash your fucking pelvis into there, okay? Come on. Try to fit your whole pelvis inside. I like how they're really just telling us how they like it. We're like, that's not how it's done. Balls deep.

Now you got some balls. Use them. Get deep in there. All right. Last voicemail and we'll get into Biggs. Hey, BC Fight. Can't see. Who would you rather?

Would you rather live in a mall for the rest of your life or be homeless for the rest of your life? So if you're in the mall, you can't leave the mall. Either way, unlimited money. Can't sleep on planes if you take the... If you're outside. All right, let me know what you think. What? What does all of that mean?

Hey, would you rather be homeless or would you rather have unlimited money and live in a fun house? Would you rather live in a place that has everything you'll ever need, endless amounts of food, clothes, fun, money's not an issue, or be homeless and apparently you can't sleep on planes? What? They're not worried about my six-hour flight. I'm fucking homeless. What was the planes thing? Am I missing that? Is there something about malls and planes that I'm not connecting about my six-hour flight. I'm fucking homeless. What was the planes thing?

Am I missing that? Is there something about malls and planes that I'm not connecting? That was wild. I also lost. Dude, if I do go to the mall. I'm going to be the first to be brave enough to say I'm taking a mall. Yeah. I'm taking the place with movie theaters and Panda Express and fucking Jake Rue.

Brookstone. And fucking Apple. If I do go to the mall, it's very rare now, right? I mean, I feel like malls are like cooked. Yeah, they're pretty dreary. They're a perfect place for a person to live.

Yeah. There's like not many people there. If I do go, I'll be the guy who sits in a Brookstone fucking chair. Sure. If I could just do that permanently.

Yeah, go to the food court. Kevin's like, I got a pussy now. I'll use the Hitachi. One can hope. Yeah, like like you know yeah i'm trying to play devil's advocate like think of the other side you know i don't know you can't have a normal life you meet somebody in the mall and it's like hey

uh you want to like go out sometimes like no i can't leave the mall come over here with it most have like bars and stuff now like yeah like come to my bar and most of them have like a casper or something like that, like one of those showrooms where you can sleep. I mean as long as you're not like Parasite where you're fucking like on the run the whole time, I'd like to be able to just be like I'm the man who lives at the mall. I don't have to be like hiding and shit. People like high five me. What's up, Johnny? How'd you sleep last night?

Fantastic. Highly recommend this bed. I'll be like the Santa at mall time. You know what I mean? Like Christmas time. I'll give back to the mall. Fantastic. Highly recommend this bed. I'll be like the Santa at mall time, you know what I mean? Like Christmas time. I'll pay my taxes. But I feel like this will be the first ever 100%

to 0% vote we do on KFC Radio voicemail. You want to live in Richie Rich's house or do you want to be homeless? Or not have a house at all. I've only seen one successful homeless person. That motherfucker outside. Aside from that, everyone doesn't really have it together. How's that feud going?

I haven't seen him. I think he ran away. I think I got him on the run. Maybe he's dead. He's probably back to his mansion. Back in the mall. All right, Jason Biggs is on the show now. You know him from American Pie, which is, you know, as...

I'm trying to think if there's been a modern classic since then. I feel like Superbad was kind of a good coming of age. Superbad for sure. No, there are plenty. There's old school. No, but I feel like old school was funny. I feel like there's only a handful of good, like, that was about growing up and being in high school

and learning about girls and sex and partying and all that shit. There's been plenty of funny movies but that's up there as far as one of the I mean it's not new anymore it's like 20 something years old but like it

it tells the story of being like a young high school boy like pretty fucking well again for like the quote unquote modern-ish world

where it's like yeah we'll fuck pies we'll part dick and like everything you know what I mean I'll try to fuck a shampoo bottle. Dump shampoo down my dick hole. That happened.

Eventually I'll fuck myself with ergonomic soap. Right now it's going to be the shampoo bottle. So anyway, and he's one of those guys very open and cool about talking about American Pie. It's not like he wants to be known as something different or whatever. An unbelievable, literally cannot believe story about him and his wife trying to have a threesome.

A very interesting talk about comedy on social media and how he kind of got caught up in cancel culture for a minute there. Very interesting cat. Really normal dude. Would love to go fucking have a beer with that guy. I think we can set that up because he's friends with Mark. I was talking to Mark yesterday, by the way. Mark, he's such a nice guy mark robert oh right right right oh yeah i sent him i hung over at the airport and i was like i was like dude i was like hung with the airport trying to decide if i should have a beer and night shift came on uh yeah yeah my mom and

i was i was like not only did i decide on a beer, I am not even hungover anymore. And his response was like, why are you such a nice guy? He's like, awesome, dude, it's a mood. And then he was like, how was Aruba? What kind of beer are you drinking? And he just asked me questions about me. He's like, you're fucking such a nice guy, dude. I had to live my life more like Marco Baer.

Everybody should live like, all the OAR guys, Richard, the whole gang are're they're like cult classic, ultra famous, still on the road, still touring. All have great families, all live nice lives. It's like you're not supposed to have it all. You know what I mean? Come on. So it's like you're supposed to be like the front man of a band. You like have to like overdose and die. You can't be like having an awesome, wholesome life as well.

Interview with Biggs is brought to you by Hawthorne. We got a nice little care package the other day that had all the shit you need to be a guy that smells and looks like what girls want. It's perfect because if you go to their website, we don't know what you want. We don't know. And it's like, what do you like to do? And like, what's your skin type and stuff like that? And like to use bar soap, to use body wash. John uses the bar soap. It just creates, it's just like, here's what's best for you. Here's your best shampoo, here's your best conditioner. Shampoo, conditioners, body wash, deodorant. Work and play cologne. Work and play is an interesting one, too,

because I sprayed the work, and I was like, okay, I get it. Now how's play going to be different? I spread it, I was like, that smells more like something I would wear out. There's something to it. I don't know. Maybe it's in my head. It's a placebo effect. So from cologne down to all the toiletries and stuff you need for hygiene, Hawthorne

will send it all to you. And the main thing with this is, as always, you don't have to worry about – I went through CVS the other day, and I was picking up every individual thing I needed. I forgot. I was like, all right. I got the body wash. I forgot the shampoo. I grabbed the shampoo. What about the deodorant? It's like a whole process. This is like, boom.

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kfc and you're gonna get 10 off your first purchase free shipping free returns uh take the quiz they'll find out who you are they'll get everything sent to you and you'll smell good squeaky clean and uh it's as easy as that go to hawthorne.co with the promo code KFC and get 10% off your first order. Jason Biggs, let's talk to him. We got Jason Biggs in the studio. New show coming out, outmatched on Fox. But, you know, you've been doing this for a minute, man.

You've been in the game for a long time, man. It's been a second. Yeah, it's pretty wild. It's crazy, man. Like, I'm doing this show now. I'm a dad to teenage kids, by the way, which is fun. You're a dad to teenage kids? You're a father to an older kid?

Yeah. When do you have kids? So our characters were high school sweethearts, had kids, like, you know, right after high school kind of thing. Yeah, so we've got like a fifth, sixth, sixtieth year old. I thought you were talking about you personally. No, not me. My kid is six. I was like, hang on, you're like 41 or something like that?

Yeah, 41, yeah. I was like, wait, you're 41 or something like that? Yeah, 41. Yeah. I was like, wait, how old? Yeah, no, I'm a six-year-old and a two-year-old. It's way more manageable at the moment. But yeah, but in the show. And so, but it's crazy to be playing a dad, have these kids, you know, and there's these kid actors around. I was a kid actor, you know, so it's sort of very, you know, nostalgic for me to think about.

I did a TV show on Fox, actually, when I was 12 years old that went one season and was canceled. Which show was that? It was called Drexel's Class with Dabney Coleman. Okay. And Brittany Murphy was on it. It was on Sunday nights either right before or after The Simpsons, and it still bombed. And it, yeah, it was a disaster, but I was one of the kids in it, you know, so like to see these kid actors now on their first TV show, it's pretty wild. And also, we just did an episode, this was really crazy, so last week, last week's episode

that aired, I have the sex talk with my kids. And it didn't even, it didn't occur to me when I was shooting it. A whole week we spent filming that episode. It did not occur to me once until I was promoting the episode last week. And I was on my Instagram and I was talking about what the episode was about. And it hit me like a ton of bricks. I'm like like holy shit 21 years later you know i'm doing this tv show where i'm the dad having the sex talk with my kids you know 20 21 years

after you called eugene after i famously got this sex talk you know from my dad in a movie it was pretty uh these kids fucking any pies i hope not man I'll tell you what. I really hope not. But just in case they are, I taught them how to do it safely. Is that a joke or a reference or something you're sick of? No. Get out of town. No, I swear. And I'll tell you why.

I'll tell you why. You know, there was probably a period around 2004, 2005, from being perfectly honest, where I'd done three of the American Pie movies. But in my head, I was like, I want to be also known as something else. And I made sort of like emotionally and in my work tried to do a sort of shift. Like I'm not just this guy. You know, I've got more to me. And there probably was some anger and resentment involved, you know, at that point for me.

And it probably lasted a little while. And I've come to realize now, all these years later, and by the way, we did another movie. Like, I kind of came around on the whole thing. We did a fourth movie in 2012, although that's now been a minute ago. Oh, shit. But still, it's like, you know what? that came around on the whole thing. We did a fourth movie in 2012, although that's now been a minute ago. Shit.

But still, it's like, you know what? It is the best fucking gift I've ever gotten in my life. It is the most fun I've ever had working on something. It's my favorite role. It's my favorite people I've worked with. Hell of a cast. It's fucking awesome people, good people. And I got two kids in private fucking school. You know, I live in New York City.

Bills are paid, good to go. How fucking lucky am I? Yeah. Like beyond, you know? And you know what, yeah. And you know, and you know, and I found this is true with anything and maybe it's just because I'm, you know,

older and nostalgic and have kids and whatever. But, but like, you know, the minute you let go of that shit, it's like... Don't worry about the image. Stuff happens, you know what I mean? Now I'm here promoting a different TV show that has nothing to do with American Pie

or anything like that. It just kind of happens that way. Do you think American Pie could have been made today? It's a problematic show. Not that version of it. Certainly not some scenes. We recently went back and we were watching the webcam scene. You can't get away with broadcasting a girl masturbating to the school and everyone's on the edge of their seat watching it.

It was funny as shit, but I was like, whoa. Without her knowing. Right. Absolutely not, man. I think that's almost like a badge of honor, though, for a show that doesn't work anymore. Like Porky when i was younger like my dad was like we got to watch porky's we got to watch revenge of the nerds like those were those were the ones and it was like at that point they still kind of worked i guess when they like the early 90s it still wasn't that

bad yeah but it's almost like if you make a show or a movie so iconic that it's still watched in 20 years right and it doesn't it's still like whoa that was a crazy time yeah it's like you guys did you want to last well that's the thing it's pushing the edge pushing the envelope type of totally well now it's a time capsule right now it's like oh this is remember when we can laugh exactly yeah i mean i didn't say it you did but yeah i mean kind of but but um no it is is interesting. It has been 21 years since that thing came out, man. And most importantly is that it gave you your career and paved the way to do Saving Silverman, which is the greatest, most underrated film.

I'm going to use the F word and call it a film ever. I believe it's – I would imagine it's one of the most – when I know I like a movie is when Rotten Tomatoes critic score is low and audience score is high. And Saving Silverman is like 100% audience and whatever on the critics. That to me is like one of the best cult classic movies ever. And it's very quotable. People come up to me with those quotes a lot too. Yeah, yeah.

It just comes out. It's pretty great. No, it's interesting because I was so psyched on that movie and we shot it and you know it was like one of the first things I did

after American Pie and you know it was Jack Black and like his like second movie and Steve Zahn who's genius and Neil Diamond

doing only his second movie ever after The Jazz Singer wow and you know we were just stoked on it as the director of Big Daddy and we were just stoked on it.

As the director of Big Daddy, and we were just, like, fucking around in Vancouver for three months, just laughing our asses off. That's when you can so clearly tell that. That you were doing that. We actually just had Rob McElhinney in here, and he was talking about how the most important thing is cast chemistry. Because it fucking, I don't know how it works,

I don't know the physics of it, but it somehow oozes through. You can feel that. Totally. And it's like, I described it as a great Saturday. It'll be on cable or something like that. And it's perfect because you watch it alone, and you feel like you're watching it with friends.

You just stop on it. You're hungover. You're sitting around. Exactly that. Silver and boom. Exactly that. Yes, absolutely. I'll sit through the commercials.

Commercials are on. Commercials make it better. I'm coming out on them. Or the alt line where it's like you clearly said fuck, but instead it comes out fudge. You're like great better yeah yeah all the alt line where it's like you clearly said fuck but instead it comes out fudge you're like great great i love it even better yeah yeah all-time classic man you talk about how you've been in the industry for so long i didn't i didn't know how i know since like childhood i've done american pie was the first thing i saw you in yep how are you normal yeah you're pretty normal cat like

thanks like i saw you i don't i you. I don't remember if we talked. I might have been too scared to talk to you, but we were backstage at, I think, Pier 13 in OAR show. Oh, yeah. I might have said hi. I might not have, but I was like, he's just a fucking normal-ass dude hanging out over there and you've been famous for your whole fucking life. Thanks, man. I appreciate you saying that. You only haven't

aged a fucking day. No. You look exactly the same. I feel fucking like a hundred. I bet. You can imagine, but it doesn't show. Thank you, guys. You're very sweet. You look exactly the same. I feel fucking like a hundred. I can imagine, but it doesn't show. Thank you guys. You're very sweet. You're doing wonders for my ego today.

No, you know, I think part of it is because I did it when I was so little. Like, I started when I was five. I got some cool little things.

Got that, you know, Drexel's class in 91. I was like, oh shit, I'm on TV. And then it goes away. And you know, I did Broadway. Awesome. And then it goes away you know i did broadway awesome then it goes away you know like i had some cool little moments got exposed to the industry

work with some cool people learned a lot but also realized early on that this shit goes away but i feel like when it is fickle and you know and also credit to my you know so so in terms of like not taking any of this shit for granted totally appreciating it all you know uh doing every job like it's my last putting in the work and uh and showing up all that applies because i saw the sort of ups and downs of it but also credit to my folks man they you know like i you know i would come into new york and i'd work with the other kid actors or adults, mostly adults I work with. And I'd be in this very professional world where people were waiting, getting me waters. I'm like six. Can I get you water?

It's hard not to get spoiled. Right? But when I go home to Jersey and I'm like, dude. Yeah, do the dishes. Dude, you got my ass handed to me, man. You know, I was just a regular kid. I get grounded. I get in trouble. I like had regular shit to do.

I'd go to a normal school. I had regular friends who I'm still friends with today. You know, that, that. I guess that's probably the most important. I think that's the most important. You talk about how like you learn it goes away. And I feel like that's when most child stars or whatever would learn. Like that's when their first spiral comes. Yeah, they go off the rails. If you can get through that first learning of it, that's when most child stars or whatever would learn. That's when their first spiral comes.

Yeah, they go off the rails. But if you can get through that first learning of it, that's when you're okay. And it's so important to have just friends who are not letting you think that you're anything. Dude. Not have friends to support you. My friends are my biggest detractor. My friends are the ones who are like, shut the fuck up, dude. Nobody cares, man.

My friends give me so much shit, man. It's crazy. I'll tell you, the most sort of nervous I've been for people to see my work, for an audience reaction, was I got a VHS copy of American Pie. It was not even called American Pie yet. It was at the time. I remember the VHS. I still have it somewhere. It says East Great Falls High on it. And I took took this and it was an early copy of the movie and i had it the movie

didn't come out we shot it over the summer and it came out the following summer that christmas in between you know i was living in la but i came home for the holidays and i had this copy of the vhs and i all my friends i told all my friends all my high school friends, and we got together. We went to my one buddy's basement. He had the big screen TV. And we popped the VHS in, and I watched it with him. And I've never been more nervous. I was so—

I would not be able to do that. I would have at least left the room. I know. I was pretty freaked, particularly for the pie scene. Because I was like, what the fuck are they going to think? Because, by the way, that was the audience, too. Yeah. They don't like it.

The movie. I'm fucked. If they don't like it and their buddy's in it, I am fucked. And I remember the first image of me with the pie happened. And there was this pause. And I was like, oh, fuck, oh, fuck. And then they just burst out laughing they could not fucking believe it most relieved you've ever been right honestly yeah it

was like and so cool man it was just such a great moment for me i was like oh this is fucking great it pays off man yeah you know what this might work tell the kids out there you know if you get your pie fuck it if you're if life you don't. Fuck it, man. If life gives you a pie, fuck it. Don't ever miss an opportunity to fuck that pie. Do you think that, like you saying the all-title D.O. is East Great Falls High, how important do you think it is that it got changed? I was watching the Die Hard movies that made it to the other day, and that was originally supposed to be called Burning Tower or whatever.

And I don't know if it's because the name has become so iconic that anything else sounds ridiculous. Yeah, partly. Or if it's because American Pie works so well on so many levels. It's so perfect, and now it's so closely associated with it that you can't picture anything else. But I'll never forget the phone call that I got when they said that they were changing the title. I was like, to what? And when they told me, it was just that like, oh. Duh.

Yeah. Yeah, of course. Right, right. That's it. There it is. It was just like, duh. And yeah, and it was, I was stoked. I forget what the question was.

It was good. Me too. Honestly, we always do. Yeah. Part of the other. But yo, it definitely helped it. Definitely helped the movie, for sure. Like, East Great Falls High, you just go,

what the fuck is it about? American Pie says it all, right? And also, and I was talking about this earlier, the thing for American Pie that worked so well, and this was before, now we're sort of anesthetized to not just those kinds of scenes. I mean, now you've got to go really big to shock any of us, right?

But the way they did the red band trailer, I don't know if you guys remember. So in the movie theater, you know, most of the coming attractions, the previews are, you know,

there's a green, the following preview is ready, da, da, da. And this one popped up red in the movie theaters. And there was a quick shot of me fucking the pie. And it was,

people were, it was a debate, right? It it was like do we want to give away what is probably the biggest joke in the movie or do you want to capitalize on it give them just a little taste and have people go oh fuck what is that movie and we did that and it was a red band so people were like what is this red what is red holy shit i'm not supposed to be seeing this movie yeah i can't even see the trailer without an adult, right? And this was right at the time the internet, so the internet was kind of starting to happen.

Starting to happen. It went viral, as viral as it could go. Yeah, but it was more just that word of mouth. Kids were starting, kids talked about it. College kids were like, did you see that movie? Did you hear about that trailer? Did you see, you know, they went and saw whatever movie the week before like do you see that movie did you hear about that trailer did you see you know they went and saw you know whatever movie the week before that yeah did you see that

thing and there was a crazy buzz because of that trailer and because and american pies and people connected it was like yeah holy shitty fucks up and and that's what kind of the original viral marketing in a way yeah wow totally but you were you guys were doing that movie, did you ever think that Eugene Levy would be – The second coming of Eugene Levy, man. I always say Levy, Levy. You know who fucks me up? Steve Levy on ESPN. Oh, yeah, right.

Fucks me up. That's what I always say. Eugene Levy. He is brilliant, though. That show. I mean, Schitt's Creek is awesome. Schitt's Creek is awesome. It's like I never in a million years would have guessed.

And I was much younger when I saw that movie, but I would have thought that that's the dad and does his own thing. And now with his second coming, I've realized that, oh, he's kind of been a legend forever. Forever. Not kind of, but he's been a legend forever. I mean, I grew up, I remember him in Splash, Armed and Dangerous. He's in Splash?

Yes. I saw it. He was the villain who kept trying to spray water on Daryl Hannah because he just knew that she was a mermaid. So he kept trying to, he was the guy that he was, you know, trying to spoil the whole thing. And he was fucking hilarious. He kept getting denied.

He would get hurt. He broke his arm at one point. He was in like this giant cast. Then he did Armed and Dangerous with John Candy. He did i mean of course sctv that was like that's where the legend was made but um but then you know he was just kind of like out of that whole cast i mean there's a lot of up-and-coming kids there's a lot of people already established but you know he shines through yeah man the old man still got it you know still got it looking better than ever right yeah it's yeah it makes me and you see you kind of knew right there you're like i got a jacket on it always makes me jealous

that i have this stupid job where i can't wear a suit because i just i see people like him and i'm like a suit makes you look smooth yeah he looks he's got the glasses he's got the whole fucking somehow makes the eyebrows cool you know like it's like i wish i had big bushy eyebrows yeah so uh part of the other the other like half of our show we always take calls um from people who have a lot of like fucked up ridiculous uh relationship situations and a big topic that we get asked about a lot or told stories about a lot are threesomes and i am of the school of thought that they it's a good idea but execution is tougher than you think.

And you have lived that out, and I think you've proven me correct on that one. And I knew the story, but I just brushed up on it. Did I read correctly that it was three attempts, like three nights? Yeah, I think we were 0 for 3, basically. I mean, after one, I'd be like, ah, let's not do it again. After two, I'm definitely like, honey, we're not trying this again. You went three nights in a row trying to have sex with a hooker. And failed all three? It was one night, like, in L.A. with a massage therapist that someone, I won't name, a friend of ours, implied.

Recommended. Recommended. Right? Implied was. And we, so basically, first of all, let me just say this. The whole thing, it was a comedy of errors. I mean, it was just a disaster. And your wife's idea, yes?

It was my wife's idea. And it was really, if you know my wife or any of her stories at all, she wrote, you know, she writes these books. And all the stories are true, but fucking crazy. She's a trip, yeah crazy she's a trip yeah she's a trip and um she you know it's almost like we were doing this for the story right and anything else you know like if i was doing something like this i'd rather it fail i'd rather yeah totally and so for us it was just like we were you know we were recently married we were best friends and we were just kind of on this weird adventure together. I, in my mind, was like, oh, but it'd be dope to get a, you know, like. But it never worked out for various reasons.

The first time was, you know, we were like, okay, game on. We're going to see. And, like, we kept dropping these, like, hints, like, you know, so. It's time to have sex. I forget why you didn't go that far. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I kept dropping these subtle hints. Hey, it's time to have sex i didn't go that far yeah yeah i kept dropping these subtle hints hey it's time to fuck right just very subtle very subtle uh no i forget you know

we'd like kind of like oh so you know she'd be like okay get on the table and i'd be like i don't you know jenny would undress and i would undress and we'd be like not shy nothing happened if anything she was like shocked yeah and we were like okay and we kept texting our friend during the night going are you sure she was like our friend was like absolutely she does for me and her boyfriend at the time and we were like really and so we'd go like back in we go back in the room like let's try this and it would just be a fail fail fail fail fail every fucking time so we'd go back in. We'd go back in the room. We'd be like, let's try this. And it would just be a fail, fail, fail, fail, fail every fucking time. So we were like, all right, either you were fucking with us. And she swears to this day she was not fucking with us.

And you know you had the right person? Yes. Like it wasn't a mix-up or something? Not a mix-up. She swears to this day. This shit just didn't want to fuck you, Jason. So that's probably what it was. But we did not give up.

We were like, you know what? We have a trip to Vegas coming up for a friend's birthday. Let's try it there. Let's go to Vegas. Right. It can't fail in Vegas. Oh dude. The first night was like just crazy.

First of all, this woman came in and it was like not at all what, you know, was advertised. And we were just like, okay, but okay, whatever,

you know, like game on. Whatever, a fucking ugly girl, sure. I didn't say ugly. i did not say she was ugly it's just a penis i have one too whatever i mean there's surely a place to put it so yeah so it came and then i didn't have enough money i thought i did i was told one

number than another and i was like so i had to like run to the atm and then like i'm sharing an elevator with like the people whose birthday it was that i didn't want to tell that i was doing this thing and they're like so what are you doing and i'm like oh nothing just rushing to the atm to get money for a hooker you know and and then my card was declined it was a whole fucking shit show and then the girl finally was like, I got to go. I have a nail appointment. True story. True story.

So she fucking left. So we're like, well, night one in Vegas, a bust. Now we're 0 for 2. But the story is literally writing itself at this point. And then the third night was like a little bit better. We got a little bit further. But it too became, it ended up being Jenny first of all Could not stop laughing

The whole time I was like babe Was she really eating A bag of chips She was eating a bag of chips Literally eating a bag of chips On the edge On the foot of the bed

Looking at me Could not keep a straight face I'm like Jenny Please like You gotta keep a straight face We gotta take it seriously Like this is her job And also like

Do you want me to like Do you want me to do this or not Like I can't Like what's up Cause I'm not gonna be able to do this or not? Like, I can't, I'm like, what's up? Cause I'm not going to be able to do it if you're fucking laughing at me. And then I just, I lost the whole thing.

And then it ended up being like a therapy session between Jenny and this, and this woman. And like, you know how she got to where she was and they became like best friends. And like, I was like, all right. And then I was just drinking from the mini bar and it just was like,

okay, well anyway, we paid her and she left. And that was it. I mean, the whole fucking thing was just drinking from the mini bar, and it just was like, okay, well, anyway. We were just hanging out with the girls. We paid her, and she left. And that was it. I mean, the whole fucking thing was just a disaster. But a great story. But anyway. We get a lot of funny ideas and calls on this show, and we're like, oh, that's a great movie.

I mean, that's a movie. I'm sure that's been told to you before. That's the birthday present. American Pie 5. I was going to say, it really is American Pie. And I was aware of it at the time. I was like, I'm literally, life is imitating art. This is my fucking, this is Jim. I Pie 5. I was going to say, it really is American Pie. And I was aware of it at the time. I was like, I'm literally life is imitating art.

This is Jim. I am Jim! Holy shit! Yeah, the whole thing sounded way better than it was. But it ended up better than it could have been. It ended up better than it could have been. If that went smoothly, and you perform,

and you go to town, I think you're still hearing about that today. I do agree. I think she thinks – that's an idea on paper. I agree. And then it's like, remember that time? Like, you fucked that hooker like you've never fucked me before. Whatever it is. You know what I mean?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or just like – or any time she asks me for something. She's – you know, I kid – like, babe, that's not my turn with the kids. I got you a hooker. Fuck you. Yeah. That's probably what our mastermind. Yeah,

I know. I know. Three levels ahead, you know, I know. But anyway, yeah, I do not recommend it unless you're married to someone like my wife.

Yeah. Or you played a character in a movie like Jim, where you can kind of sense where it's going to go. Do not do it. By the way, just to go back to the pie real quick. I always wondered, what were you,

what were you actually doing? Like you just held it and kind of like humped? Yeah, so I really fucked the pie. No, so it was like a hollowed out shell, like you had the tin. Yeah. But inside of it was like a styrofoam fake pie crust. And I just kind of put my flush, you know, my flat penis flush against the pie as if I was fucking it. And then we put real pie pieces like all around the edges and like up in my shit.

Dude, later that night, literally, I was showering and pulling literally pie pieces out of my fucking like, like my anus. I'm not kidding. It was fucking gross. This movie better be a fucking hit. Yeah, dude. This better be a fucking hit. Yeah, dude. This better be a fucking hit is right. What the hell did I just do? Well, that's why I was showing my friends the movie.

I'm like, oh my God, please. Because if they didn't laugh, then it's just, my buddy just, you know, I'm just a friend that fucked a pie. Right? You know what I mean? I mean, theoretically, you know, it's a movie but it's also probably your most embarrassing personal moment you're sharing with your friends at any point

I one time burnt a picture because it was me with a Barbie doll and I was just scared that my friends would see that and you're out there just fucking a pie and what's interesting is when I did it there was no embarrassment I was like I'm going for it you have to right like you can't how old were you i was uh 20 so i was 19 when i auditioned time to be fucking things on set yeah i'm surprised you were you were fucking soft i

would have been like i'm just gonna fuck this thing i'm totally method guys uh does biggs have a fucking erection right now let's see yes guys i do. You didn't know you hired a Broadway method actor when you cast this role, did you? You want me to fuck this pie? I will fuck the shit out of this pie. Did Biggs come? Yes, I did. Yes, that is semen on the pie.

I've got a question for you. Going through, we're hardcore researchers here, so going through your Wikipedia page and get to the bottom of it. Oh, boy. I haven't been on that in a minute. And there's a part that says controversy. And it says two of the funniest sentences I've ever read in a row, where it says, Jason Biggs caused some controversy about comments about Flight 370, Malaysia Flight

370. And then it says, Jason Biggs, months later, Jason Biggs caused some controversy about comments about Flight 370, Malaysia Flight 370. Yeah. And then it says, Jason Biggs, months later, Jason Biggs caused some controversy about Malaysia Flight 17. This guy's just out here talking shit about Malaysia Airlines. Big Malaysia Airlines? I don't remember either of them. You know, that controversial. I once had a terrible flight on Malaysia Airlines. And I've held a grudge ever since.

You know, I don't remember i guess i mean listen if in the year 2020 your wikipedia controversy section is that you're doing good yeah dude i got i got canceled on twitter for a minute yeah it was uh yeah man it was uh it was so what so what happened was i don't remember the first flight. I mean, so the first flight had crashed, right? And it was, oh, no, disappeared. The missing one. Right, the missing one.

Which, by the way, did they ever find that shit? I think they pretty much know it was in a swap version. Yeah, I think they, no, they never found it. No. No, I don't think they found even pieces. I think they determined it's most likely here. So the first thing was still missing. Like, it was still missing like it was still missing and then i was in uh mexico city promoting orange is the new black actually and i was in a i'll

never forget where i was and i was in this van with some of the other cast members and we were driving to the next press event and like the premiere was that night and all i just i think one of us was on twitter uh and someone's like oh my god another malaysian airlines plane crashed or something and i was just like what that's insane are you serious kind of thing before i did any sort of research on it uh twitter works this is how twitter works or how it used to work for me by the the way. You're just done with it? He's pretty much, man. I use it to promote stuff, and I read, so I get my news from it, but

I don't go there, man. Lessons were learned. But anyway, I just took to Twitter, and this was at a time when I was, you know, felt like I was being provocative. You know, I have a sense of humor that's, it could go dark, and just kind of whatever, and Twitter at the time for me was this opportunity to show this other side

of me and have some fun and I wasn't working as much so I thought for the most part it worked, I got lots of followers and I was like oh they like me saying kind of fucked up things Howard Stern, I'm a big Howard Stern fan so I grew up with that kind of provocative kind of thing and I just thought obviously I'm no Howard Stern

and I learned my lesson but so but so anyway i just without thinking i went to twitter and i tweeted um does anyone want to buy my malaysian airlines frequent flyer miles so i thought it was funny yeah cut to you ready within an hour um tmz has me on their home page and it's um because i didn't know so at this so now they're finding there's footage coming out of the wreckage and all lives were lost and all so it's literally you ready tmz's page it was the photo was the burning wreckage of the crash with my face on the front of it jason biggs mocks dead mocks yeah no literally jason biggs mocks whatever whatever it was that's that's i didn't realize there was anything actually like that too funny sentence and dude like just boom like that and i was like oh oh my god what the fuck and you know and this was at a time, too, when I got defensive about it at first.

I was like, it's fine. Which, by the way, does not fucking help. Never works. Never, ever, ever works. But just to be fair real quick, it was funny. Oh, yeah. You are correct. You were ahead of your time.

Because Malaysian Airlines is just a joke now. It's just a punchline. Anyway, thank you. I appreciate that. that i'm not gonna go there man i like i have we don't want to have any ptsd here on the whole fucking thing man and you know listen that must be hard though to like read because if i'm reading twitter i'm like i have to say something yeah i would either i'm either in or i'm out i couldn't do what you do or well now it took a while dude it took a fucking while man it was a lesson that took me a few years to learn that's a shame

because you are I can tell you're a funny guy and like the world's missing out on some good shit thanks man and I feel like I'm a good guy

like I don't you know so for like to get this like reaction and have death threats people on Twitter would be like fuck you

I hope you die and your family you know it's just like oh fuck man that shit lands and it lands you

get it pun intended unlike oh my god that's fucked up man you're going to hell It's just like, oh, fuck, man. That shit lands. And it lands. Get it? Pun intended. Unlike an Asian plan. Oh, my God. That's fucked up, man. You're going to hell. But we've kind of said that we learned that it's one of those things where you say, because we work in the world, so we know.

And it's like, just turn your phone off, go to bed, and it'll be over in the morning. Yeah. Someone else will say something's done. But also, when you're in that storm, you feel like it'll never end. Even if you know it's ending. You know it's ending, and your body just feels that hate. It's fucking crazy. It's crazy.

Well, and also, like, you know, I want to work. You know what I mean? You want to work on Fox. I want to work, man. I want to work on Fox. I want to work. I want to work, man. I want to work on Fox. I want to be employable, you know? And that. Kids to feed and shit now.

That shit doesn't bode well, man. It doesn't look good. It's not a good look, man. And, you know, it took me a minute to learn that lesson. And that was a really, I mean, it was a long time ago. And it was a really, and everyone says this. Like, oh, it was a different time in my life. And I was a different person. But it's true, man. Fuck, dude, that was a long time ago, and I really was. And everyone says this. Like, oh, it was a different time in my life, and I was a different person.

I was a different person, yeah. But it's true, man. Yeah. Fuck, dude. That was before kids. That was before my whole fucking perspective on life changed. I don't get why that is mocked. It's true.

It's very normal. You do change. Well, people feel like it's an excuse. I was different. People go, well, you were still an adult. Some people do use that as an excuse. Yeah. It kind of ruins it for the people who really were like, I changed as a person.

Yeah. It's true, man. And, you know, look, whatever. I have. I have. At the end of the day, it's like, I can't change it, man. I can't change it. But I can be something different now.

But honestly, like I said, in this day and age, if that is your controversy, even as bad as it may have been in the moment, we've seen a lot worse out there. So good guy, Jason Biggs, still in action. Still in it. Still in the game. Outmatched.

Which sounds, by the way, like four different shows in one. The Kids Being Geniuses could be its own thing. Big Bang. Malcolm in the Middle. All together, yeah. It kind of is, man. It's kind of a fun play on all that stuff. All those kind of...

What was the reasoning behind putting in Atlantic City? I feel like nothing happens in Atlantic City anymore. That's funny. I mean that on television. I'm from Jersey. No, no, no. I know, dude. in Atlantic City anymore. That's funny. I mean that. It's true. I'm from Jersey. No, no, no. I know, dude. Atlantic City is so weird, right? It's such a weird place. I went to the Borgata probably. It's my first time ever going to AC. And by the way, that's the only place

to go. Or bare exposure, right? Is that the place you can bring? I brought a 30 rack into that place. You can bring your own beer and make it totally naked. Yeah, that's not around anymore. I went to the boardwalk on that first time and it was like, it was raining that day. And it was just those guys who are rickshaws, I guess. But they're just pushing it.

They're not even rickshawing it. They're just pushing a cart. And it was just them walking around in ponchos. I was like, guys, there's 40 of you out here. No one's doing this. It's just me. If I won one of those rides, 39 of you can still go home. True.

Yeah, if someone comes out and actually wants to ride with one of you guys, do you guys fight over it like a pigeon fighting over crumbs? What happens? Do you guys have a – is it first in line? Do you row Shambo 27 times? It's all just haggling until someone does it for free. Yeah. Yeah, listen, you want to charge me $40, but this guy.

Yeah. It is an interesting setting for the show, though. But that is part of the reason. I think this is just a sort of blue-collar, working-class family, which AC liked it. I'm always fascinated by these places that have the hotels and have the thing and the business and the money and the dead and then there's the other then there's the

people that live local yeah you know that that kind of always fascinates me and so our my wife the character Maggie Lawson plays Kay which she works like yeah she's the best so funny so great she works at the casino right one guy casinos you know so that's her kind at the casino. We're one of the casinos. So that's her kind of gig. So there are scenes in the casino and stuff. But also the creator of the show is from Jersey. Further up, northern Jersey, but he just thought it would be fun to set it in AC,

that we could kind of play with the themes there. Some unique stuff. Yeah, yeah. Sounds awesome, man. Happy you're doing good. Catch it on Fox Outmatched. And we thank you so much. Thanks for having me, guys.

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