KFC Radio - Sal Vulcano Argues He Was Better than Lebron at Basketball

Episode Date: June 6, 2024

Timecodes: 0:00 Start 06:39 Thoughts on Eminem's New Single 12:54 Drake officially lost the rap battle 14:53 Not Like Us at Bar Mitzvah: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NsU3ztvHGB8 16:19 Pup Punk's Chicago show 19:41 Surviving Barstool New Season 29:58 Early Days KFC Radio Lore 39:21 Video Voicemails 01:07:26 Sal Vulcano Interview 01:08:19 Sal's fear of corners 01:11:54 Strip Clubs 01:17:44 Sal's Tour 01:19:50 Sal keeps tags on all his clothes 01:24:28 Sal's insane Wii debacle 01:28:57 Woman who died holding in her pee 01:37:38 Sal can beat lebron at basketball 01:42:44 Tastebuds with Joe DeRosa 01:48:00 Is Sal gonna get another Jaden Smith Tattoo? +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Gametime: Download the Gametime app or go to https://gametime.co, enter your email, and redeem code KFC for $20 off your first purchase (terms apply). Bespoke Post: Get a free Mystery Gift with your first monthly shipment when you sign up at https://BoxofAwesome.com Aura Frames: Visit https://AuraFrames.com/KFC to get $30-off on their best-selling frame for Father's Day MAX - House of the Dragon: Season 2 of House of the Dragon premieres SUNDAY, JUNE 16 at 9PM on Max.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. I had to buy that Wii back, and then go in the car, swap it for the Wii I stole, and then I returned the good Wii, and I still to this day have the bad Wii. It's another edition of KFC Radio on the Barstool Sports Network. You're murdered out, bud. Black on black. Oh, yeah, that's right. Forgot where we were going, George.

I mean, you don't have to wear a black hoodie or something. Well, I put the hoodie on just because I'm wearing like a dumb teak so I'm going to change yeah yeah yeah literally I did the rundown yesterday well two days ago three days ago this is on Thursday now

it was the original three me Dan and Dave and we do that probably like once a month now and every time we get back together we like like, as much as things have changed, they've stayed the same. And we slide like right back in. Dave's making fun of the Chicago Bears and their quarterback. He's got a whole bunch of money that he's going to win. And a master class from Dave Portnoy in making Angel Reese and Caitlin Clark about himself he's like you know the real victim is me why is he because he was

like I was the first one to call Angel Reese classless and now everyone's jumping on board with that and I was victimized it's like you this is painting a masterpiece but he's very good he's not totally wrong. I think he said something where it was. When Dave said it, it didn't read right. He said classless piece of shit to a girl who was, at the time, still a college player. That makes a difference. It's only like six months, but now she's a professional woman.

At the time, it wasn't. But that was, while he definitely took the business end of it, I think there were enough people being like, it's not the same thing. No, no, no. I think the whole probably was acting like it was the same. A white guy calling a young black girl a classless piece of shit is never really going to play well. Even if it could be deadass fucking correct. And, you know, it's kind of proving, at least in the way she behaves within the game,

that that might be true. But the way he said, you know the Dave's Mark, right? He was setting it up. He was like, you know, there's a lot of ways to look at this. There's a lot of different, you know, nobody was saying, and I'll tell you who the real victim is here. But bigger than that is we have to stop this man. Somebody's got to stop this man.

From winning? Yeah. Yeah. When I saw his quotes the other day, he had the graphic that he'd already made, and he's like, by the way, if the Oilers and Celtics win, I get another $2 million. What?

He'll have won $7.5 million, I think, since the Super Bowl. Since February. And still down tremendously. I know. Well, no, see, you can't even. I'm sure Dave would probably say he's down gambling. I think he's down like double-digit million. But he's definitively not because of the gambling is the.

He's up $300 million. Yes, in your actual bets placed, for sure. Well, there's two things. He's up like $300 million because of the job. Right. But also, what's done is done. You know what I mean? Yeah.

If you spend your money, if you were crazy spending your money on dumb shit at one point, and then you have since, now you're very frugal, you don't just still add up the balance sheet. It's like, no, I'm good with my money. It's like, well, no, 20 years ago you weren't. It's frugal you don't like just still add up the balance sheet it's like no i'm good with my money yeah well no 20 years ago you weren't it's like i don't know those those gambling losses are gone yeah so yes in the grand scheme of things dave is probably down like 20 million dollars but he's gonna be up seven and a half million in a matter of like six months and like there was always it ended up not being at all a chink

in the armor because of what we just said like the the gambling got pen and and made him you know a hundred millionaire but the one like sort of chinking just like his whole persona was like he's a terrible fucking gambler and they all are you know and it's like they they say they know what they're doing and they you know they say they say it with their chests and then they end up fucking losing uh because he won as a fan all the time and i'm sure he made a bunch of money on that but he was always a bad gambler and now the system is broken see here's the problem i do think i think i think the south east will win but i think the Panthers are going to win. Yeah, it does sound like that. Panthers is a fucking good name. Yeah, it sounds like that.

But also, at the same time, having your multi-million dollar parlay in the hands of Conor McDavid is also not the worst thing in the world. You know what I mean? It's not like he has – it's not outside the realm of possibility. Not at all. You know what I mean? It's not like some fluke. But also, you know, you you got to tip the cap i think it was a hundred thousand dollar parlay to win like you know 1.5 million or something like that but it was to bet on the best golfer in the fucking world and the

favorite to win the nba title so he's just got so much money now he can just throw money on these fucking favorites and parlay them up and whip them up. And it's like, well, if I lose a hundred grand, no big deal. And if this hits, I'm a fucking gambling God. It's, it's a problem. It's, it's, it's like beyond the infinity stones. It's like he got all the infinity stones and then they found another one that nobody knew about the gambling infinity stone. Dave,

Caitlin Clark, we got fucking Shane and Eminem are together. White people are like the Patriots dynasty.

You thought we were down. We're back, baby. We got a couple more Super Bowls left in us. There was a There was a There was a time. People were saying, just like, Brady's done.

It's over. We're fucking back, baby. We got Luka Doncic, dude. We got, dude, white people back up right now. Listen, if you're going to include the Europeans, you got Luka, you got Jokic. You know, we got punched in the fucking mouth for the first time. It was like, the Russian's cut. The Russian is cut.

But then we just came back over the top. We came back over the fucking top. If Luka beats Boston, we did respond strong. Pete Carroll should have ran the ball, baby. You had a chance, man. Could have stepped on our throats what did you think of eminem i didn't listen you didn't listen to it no it's uh it is a straight nostalgia fucking dopamine to the head yeah like you just right back into 2002 it's like if you it's um if you watch you got to watch the music video with with the song it's like if you it's um if you watch you got to watch the

music video with with the song it's actually a very like it's a music video worth watching which is very rare these days but it's almost like a shot for shot i saw you like repost of of without me but it's like he's doing the superhero thing again but he's like fat and out of shape he's like i'm old now you know which know, which I think the guys over at Rory and Maul were talking about it. And because I talk with their producer a lot and he hates Eminem, thinks he's overrated. And and so I texted him being like, you know, tough day to be an Eminem hater because, you know, he's back. And and they're you know, they're they're podcasts is like very musically focused so they're like it's it's it's eminem what eminem always does he puts out his first single is like a pop corny catchy without me real slim shady my name is you know um so they they all hated it he did me so fucking dirty on their show he i was

saying to him he was like i'm too sophisticated for this basically and i was like oh you're too sophisticated to like laugh at a fucking eminem song and watch the music video and he portrayed it on their show as i said uh you're too sophisticated to see the good in this and they were all laughing and shit i was like i texted him right away i was like you dirty son of a bitch and you could hear him try to correct it he was like no no wait what he actually said and then they just kind of talked over him and i and he said he was like they cut me off and i was like you stopped them and you correct yourself god damn it i love you like you completely misrepresented my argument yeah i know i think you look like an idiot i have control of the show it wasn't an accident you dumb fucking i'm not gonna make you look good in the argument. No, but it's a very... I mean, Eminem for 15 years now has done whatever the fuck music he likes.

I don't know. I don't think anybody else in the world except Eminem likes it. Actually, the hardcore whites. Which I like. I actually was just on Taylor Watch making this argument that Taylor Swift should do this. Like, do something like that. Do whatever she wants.

I was like, she needs to just do something that, because even where, I said, well, not to get into it, but she's been working with Jack Anthonoff for 10 years. And I was like, enough. Enough for Anthonoff. Go do a Lil Wayne fucking rock album. Just do some shit that,

because I almost feel like artists and maybe Eminem went too long, but you need to do that in order to make sure everyone's not gaslighting you. That's true. Right? Taylor Swift at this point in her career, Eminem at some point in his career,

put out whatever the fuck you wanted. Everyone's going to go, this is amazing. Put out a piece of shit to see if they'll be honest with you. It's Steve Martin, stand-up comedy. He stopped doing stand-up comedy because they were laughing too much at him. Which they kind of did in Haxes here. Yes, that's right.

Haxes is a great show. Haxes is a fucking awesome show. I cried last night watching it. Unbelievable. laughing too much at him yeah which they kind of did in hax's here yes that's right that's right hax is a great show hax is a fucking awesome i cried last night watching it unbelievable it's a really really good show but the in the eighth episode i was like damn i'm crying yeah no it's good and if you like comedy it does a lot of you know it deals with a lot of the comedy industry um but steve martin like before he was even delivering punch lines the crowd was like laughing their ass off and he was like this is this is not and that that's I mean that was exactly that scene with Debra she's like wow I haven't done it yet um but yeah like I think Eminem you know he did weird accents and weird voices and he just rapped like too fast for anybody to actually enjoy

and I think when you're 50 is the time to like do the nostalgia throwback yeah yeah you know what i mean you can always say like uh you know he's a he's a 50 year old man should he be like rapping about this or about that yeah i i mean i guess so it's like he should probably be a mature 50 year old adult that's not him he never has been and never will be uh it was it's a it's a it's the first single off of an eminem album it's it's funny it's almost like borderline you know like comedy rap it's a little dicky song and if you watch the music video it's like you really see it's like he's i'm sure he would agree with that i don't think he's putting this out there as like

you know his fucking magnum opus but if if it's if it's following suit like what he used to do is put out one pop single and get everybody and then you go listen to the album i mean i remember the slim shady lp listening to the album after hearing my name is thinking it was like some like comedy rapper and i was like yeah what is this shit so um we'll see i i think if he's rapping like this again for his first single, you would hope that the album kind of follows suit in the past. But I also think there's nothing wrong with just like enjoying nostalgia. It's like, you know, if you do your shtick too long, people are like, oh, you don't evolve enough.

And then, you know, he evolved and did whatever the fuck he wants. And now he goes back to it and people are like, oh, it's the the same old thing it's like well he did he didn't do it for 15 years like now is the time that you do get to go back to that and he plays his old tricks and he uses his same old jokes and people fucking love it it was the is the right time to do it i think there's also as much as we hate it as much as we hate to say it um the the war the rest of the world is like the pendulum swung back and like we're back comedy's back you can say what we want so like i think that's corny and and cliche and we've kind of always been like i think ahead of the curb on both sides of things you know what i mean like i was thinking about the other day when we were doing pussification

of america blogs i feel like and maybe this is just because we were the ones doing it but i feel like when we were doing it it was like funny and and uh hey like we we saw it coming whereas when the rest of the world was doing it it was just like piling on and not really doing it like with the right examples yeah yeah i see what you're saying. And then I think we were ahead on being like, cancel culture is not real. You know what I mean? So I think we've been ahead of the curve on both sides. But the rest of the world, I think, is just like,

we're ready for edgy comedy and Eminem to be back. So I'm sure he was like, let's fucking go, because I'm about to make this bag again. But yeah. Speaking of rap on the rap segment, I think Drake officially lost the battle because Drake's put out a song that I love. Wagwan Delilah. It's unbelievable.

Steve sent me this today. Steve's been sending me one minute man topics and he's like, I'm sure you've already seen this. And he sent it to me. He's like, I'm sure... Steve's been sending me one-minute man topics and he's like, I'm sure you've already seen this. But... And he sent it to me and he's like, it's fucking terrible. And I was thinking to myself, I was like,

I bet you Feidelberg is going to like this. Bro, it's unbelievable. Wagwan Delilah is so fucking funny. Have you heard it? I listened to a little bit of it. It's so bad.

It's unbelievable. I do think he's like in on that. I don't think he wrote Wagwan Delilah thinking like, you know, the islands people are going to be like, this is amazing. Like in New York City. Dude,

that's unbelievable. That's, Drake, Drake lost, but he's like, you know, I gotcha. I haven't even listened to it.

I saw the, I've listened to, I saw Complex tweeted the snippet or make a minute of it and I listened to half of that and I was like, I saw Complex tweeted the snippet, or make a minute of it, and I listened to half of that, and I was like, I just smiled at myself thinking, the fact that I like this means, that's bad news for Drake. Well, you know what was really bad news for Drake was, did you see the bar mitzvah playing Not Like Us?

No. Bro, I was dying this clip is it's like 10 12 year olds 13 year olds just kind of in a dog pile jumping around on the on the dance floor of their bar mitzvah singing certified pedophile i mean it's like like if drake doesn't have the young jewish boy yeah fans he's lost everybody at this point i put it on uh i still haven't heard that song really obi-ho look at this this is funny no no not like you haven't heard i've only heard uh family matters that's so funny right yeah this is it look at this and they're singing the lyrics certified lover boy certified pedophile i mean theseop, wop, wop, wop, fuck them up. I mean, these are the kids that Drake is performing for, like, professionally and romantically.

These are the kids Drake wants. If he doesn't have them anymore. Yeah, a lot of DJs are playing, like, there was, like, an Indian wedding where they were all, like, screaming it, screaming the lyrics. And I was like, this is something else. Screaming not like us at bar mitzvahs and weddings and all sorts of weird shit. There was another guy playing the triangle, like a grandpa at a wedding and not like us was playing. And he's just ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. I mean, it is absolutely everywhere.

And you know, like Drake does, does and will, and probably already has in some ways, just like bounce back. But there's gotta be some piece of you and it's like, they're singing it at a fucking bar mitzvah. Yeah. Like they're calling me a pedophile at bar mitzvahs. Mother fucker. Drake probably called him the K word.

And also speaking of rap, rap heavy, heavy, Pat Bev put up a million. I saw that. That is, and Rashad McCants is, I think, going to put up his guy and match it. So I feel like that might happen. Does that mean Rowan gets a million dollars? That's kind of tight. I think so. I mean, I think that's what the pretty good the

setup is that is uh for night's work that is gonna be that's some pressure dude i mean you've done it a million times and like won a bunch of times but with a million on the line i i you know like i i don't know roan super well but what i know of roan i don't think that would affect him at all yeah he doesn't really get nervous yeah yeah by the way frankie singing wagon wheel what a moment he did got out from behind the the kit uh oh frankie yeah i was singing frank bank yes yes i knew frankie did yeah that i would like to say you know frank's got the pipes yeah yeah but uh frankie uh i think robbie's brother jumped yep robbie's older brother jumped up on the drums which was also a great moment because bob fox has been so his music has been so molded by his older brothers and so they got to perform on stage together while frankie just it's one thing to sing when

you're the drummer and you just have a mic there. It's another thing to be like the front man standing on stage. It's like him in fucking, what's his dick? Dave Grohl, the only ones who've ever done it. Yeah, yeah. But I feel like you have a little bit of a, just being behind your drums almost feels like a little safety net, you know? And he was front and center, singing Wagon Wheel. I think pop punk, I've said this a million times,

but I think pop punk is one of said this a million times but i think pop punk is one of the best things to ever come out of barstool i i completely it lets these guys like you know they're in the moment they're like singing before a sold-out crowd it's not like you know you're not putting out an album and it's not like you're selling out like arenas but in that theater or whatever they're in in the moment it's like when you're a little kid you want to be a rock star and they get to like cosplay rock star yeah and it's real enough that it's it's legit you know that's fucking incredible uh and it's also like a different it's not just like it was like all pmt like made a band you know what i mean yeah people coming together it's very cool game time is the official ticketing partner of Barstool Sports. Summer is here. It means you've got to get

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I have to congratulate you. New season of your show has been renewed. Big one this season. What's that? Surviving Barstool. A minute? No. Oh, okay.

Well, I don't know about that but i i the i was thinking about this the other day because it's gonna be it's a big season i'm sure big advertisers and all that stuff and i've often heard particularly in my younger years at barstool uh a particular man used to yell at me about the real world you started driving marcel i'm not gonna say no i'm not gonna say i did like it was it went from a this is during covid it was going to be a segment on our live shows yep and then the gambling the super bowl house got canceled so sales was like, hey, we need something we could turn into a property for them,

and you were surviving Barstool. It's become a pretty big thing in the real world when you start a show, you keep getting fucking royalties. Can I tell you something? Do you know how bad it's gotten? That never even crossed my mind. For the last decade, I would be salty about something like that. I was like, wait a minute, I started that. How come I don't get any credit? That never even crossed my mind like like for the last decade i would be salty about something like that it's like wait a minute i started that how come i don't get any credit that didn't it never even crossed my mind i'm talking about credit i'm talking about fucking money dude i

remember even saying because the first one they did for i mean it came under the kfc radio available this was wholly your idea and like the first one they did give us it was our money it went under our yeah you know what i think we're going to court i think i'm going to fucking i think just season two they were like we're gonna stop doing that wait a fucking minute this is how brainwashed i am that i didn't say wait we did it this year why are we doing it this year and why are we definitely not doing it this year i was thinking about that last night when the keegs and rio were announced on it and i was like damn it's gonna be a big season hey it's my saturdays are for the boys

we can live together now in in harmony get your status for dad shirts on sale now for father's day bro i should have fucking hired an agent so long ago yeah that i remember when we started surviving barstool we went to tommy because we knew he was going to be like like you know he loved it and we were yeah kicking around an idea of a segment and then we were maybe it's this maybe it's that and when they when they came to me like you said being like new amsterdam needs you know we need like some inventory for them because covid i remember saying to mb like cool but this is our our like thing you know what i mean like don't you're not going to take this away from us. And she was like,

totally. Like, we get it. But next year, you're going to forget, motherfucker. God damn it! Fuck! I just forgot.

Because I was in it. You know? It was like, once it became like, enough of a thing, and I was like, oh, now I'm going to get to be in it.

That's cool. No, I should, you know what? I should have fucking, imagine if I was just in oh, and I'm going to get to be in it. That's cool. No, I should. You know what? I should have fucking. Imagine if I was just in it, but making money off of it. That would be. Then I'd be dead.

Fuck. Man, that's something that absolutely in the regular entertainment world, you would have. Yeah, when you create a show, you make money as the show goes on. Executive producer, royalties, all that shit. Now, to be be fair we stole it from cbs yeah yeah but you know it was surviving barstool survivor um yes yes i was what's up i was the host of it for a couple years i created it and i was in it and i have nothing to do with it i'll probably I have nothing to do with it anymore. I'll probably never have anything to do with it again and never see a dime from it. That one, I don't think, I don't want to speak for you.

I am not like, why wasn't I invited back? I did not think that. For this season? Yeah, I did not think I deserved anything. But to be fair, I don't think it's a deserved thing. I think you were like a fan favorite you easily could come back And people would be like happy that Feidelberg was back again But I was a non-factor in the show

But that was a conscious choice That was gameplay I was gonna say that made it one of the storylines If If it was like It was gameplay that happened to line up with exactly what I wanted to do Yes Don't get drafted into world war

two like i was planning on killing nazis this is perfect yeah yeah don't get don't get it wrong like final work didn't want to be the guy in the mix and was like oh i wish i was out there arguing yeah but uh but that was absolutely a storyline and good for a few laughs when they would like play funny music and there was footage of you zoning out and all that that was as much of of the of the storyline as you know someone like che who like couldn't stop thinking about it every two seconds i so badly i i didn't even want to win i just wanted to get to give my speech get to give a speech yeah me too i wanted to give a speech too yours was very funny uh wait so is the the lineup fully set i don't know i just saw i i know i'd seen dave say there were four spots left i i and then so yeah kelly and g uh kelly and ria um but and i think the

other two spots were kind i think those are maybe jerry rico spots so i'm guessing if those four i was thinking you know i i would i would say yes if i was invited back but would not lose any sleep if i was not invited back um but now i'm definitely happy i'm not in it and maybe i shouldn't say this because they'll like throw me in it because i do not want to do that with girls i would be so afraid to do to be in alliances or backstab alliances or whatever with all the girls, I would be like, just tell me what to do and I'll do it. If I was in it again, I would be the exact opposite of what I was last time.

I'd even tell you just so you know, I'm backstabbing everybody. Which is probably a pretty quick way to get an exit. I'm going to have no loyalties here. Or maybe I wouldn't have said that and just done it. Yeah's the thing you just do it it is so funny there's so many times where uh when we were doing survivor where i was like the minute you stop

playing is when you lose and as soon as we like had an agreement with will it's when we stopped playing yeah yeah there was there was even a moment where i was like we're okay we're gonna backstab him and then going to backstab him, and then we'll backstab him, and then we'll backstab Will. And then me and him, like, bunked up, and we had these conversations and all that. It's like you can't not play. The minute you stop playing is the minute you lose. Yeah, so Survivor, man.

Fuck. We shouldn't say that. I know. I'm going to think about this probably for the rest of my life now. Yeah, don't worry. It won't get a lot of press the new season, though, so you don't want to think about it too much.

No, not at all. I don't think there'll be any sponsors. I don't think it'll make any money. We'll, like, miss our goal by, you know, a couple bucks. We should be, like, $3 million over it. Unbelievable.

We got Sal Volcano on the show today. He's got a new special out called terrified he's also doing a tom segura-esque tour where he's going to like every single uh city in in the world um i i think i i did something i might have regretted what tell me what tell me anything this i'm doing some home renovations and the architect reached out to me and he said hey i've seen sal vocano on doing all the podcast rounds and on on these podcasts he keeps talking about how he's having trouble getting his house built uh and if you can put me in contact with him uh i'll give you like 10 off of your final your final thing and so i reached

out to sal and i was just like i don't really care about the 10 but if you're having trouble getting your permits done like this guy i was having trouble too and like this guy uh he got the job done and now and i and i was like and i i just cut and pasted the whole text and i sent it over but it has the 10 part in it and i just feel like sal would look at that and be like well i mean you addressed it yeah i said i made sure i followed up saying like i mean 10 off is gonna be like a thousand dollars you know what i mean whatever and it was for the scope of what we're doing it's not a fucking real thing um i think i think that's fine i i felt i would feel weird about it too but i think i remember i this is a fairly similar thing i can kind of relate to i when we were still with pen and we're hiring gms and stuff like that yeah i had a buddy reach out to me that his buddy and this is a good buddy of mine reach out that

his buddy had applied for the gm of foreplay and he was like if you can put in a good word or whatever and so i texted the foreplay guys i was like you guys know i don't i'm not trying to pull strings i don't care but if this comes up if you're wondering like is he a good dude he's good friends with someone who i consider a really good dude so like if you want to use that information use it right if not that's fine i don't know i'm not trying to make you do anything i think that's kind of the same thing yeah right yeah i think as long as you're transparent about it and like you're not i i i just i get nervous about the whole thing though yeah i'm always when people are like can you shoot me this guy's number or hook me up with

this it's our reply i know but i like just i mean i haven't yeah like i just did it um that's the other thing too though we're like not the most like in communication like every now and then we dm and sometimes so like i don't always expect a response but i think that i think that's a completely fair thing okay because again you're like he said he offered them i didn't ask for a deal he just offered it i don't really care about it right but he did get the job done so yeah yeah i think i think i think that's i mean that's how it works right like i've had a good business exchange with this person right it's just that like networking but well, what about that?

Did we talk about that other request I got the other day from the Don? What was it? I'm glad you mentioned his name. Because that one was a little over the top. I don't know. I'm not involved in this. So I think you can. I mean, it's definitely good content the uh let me say something about the don we can decide if we want to go to that after

yesterday last night i did billy football's podcast and then audio you did yeah wait that is like the most not feidelberg podcast of all time it was were you talking like conspiracy theories and shit i I don't think Billy had a plan. We didn't really talk. No. He asked about early days KFC radio. Actually, that's a good question. I can ask you the answer here. He was like, what's the

early lore of KFC radio? Because that was before me. And I was like, I don't really understand the question. He was like, how to get started? And I said, this is my memory i don't i honestly don't even know if it's accurate so kevin did x amount of episodes i don't know how many kevin was doing a podcast and then i was like and then they had me on but i don't think i was on as a guest was i just on as a guest my first episode no i'm pretty sure i was like i need a

partner that's okay that's what i thought i wasn. And then... I think from the jump you were... Yeah, I was like... Or like maybe... Maybe it was just like, you want to do it with me tonight. But I don't think I was like, my guest Feidelberg. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

There might have been like one test run where I was like, let's make sure this guy doesn't like, can't speak or some shit. But I think pretty much immediately I was like, I just... I think that was the Magicians episode. So I was like,

I don't know if it was before that or like I said that. That might have been it. Like that sealed it. I think that was the Magicians episode. So I was like, I don't know if it was before that or like I said that. That might have been it. That sealed it. I love that answer so much. That was like, you know, I was like, in. And then he was asking about... You have two moments.

For blogging, it was... You wrote a blog about shoveling snow and how much it sucks. And specifically when you push the shovel instead of shoveling yeah and it hits your dick and i was like that's those are the kind of references that make probably a hundred thousand guys who grew up doing the same thing all on their computer go oh i did that too that and then yeah when when it was it was if you could wipe one group of people off the face of the earth who would it be and you just said magicians and you said it's so like it's like does this guy have like a rivalry with magicians or something he was like magicians i don't like it was it so like, does this guy have a rivalry with magicians or something? He was like, magicians. I don't like them.

It was like Kendrick and Drake. I don't like them. I don't like the way they talk. I don't like the way they dress. I don't like the way they act. They still bother me. They bother me more now because I get excited. And then I'm let down.

You don't like that mentalist shit when they do those things? Not anymore. Because there's, like, David Copperfield. There was a quick window where I was down with a mentalist. And now... Now you don't like it? Because now I'm just like, well, you're doing something. You're not a superpower.

Well, they... So you're doing something. They went too far. Yeah. They went too far with it where it's like, this is literally physically impossible. Yeah, you're not a god walking amongst us. So I know you're doing something. I just don't know what it is.

I'm not interested. Yeah. And there's been enough behind-the-scenes stuff I, so I know you're doing something. I just don't know what it is. I'm not interested. Yeah. And there's been enough behind-the-scenes stuff I've seen now, you know? Yeah. There's that one guy, Justin Willman, who's been on the show before. He's really good, but he put out a video where he plants Tom Hanks movies. He has a conversation with you ahead of time and he says things like forest and and uh philadelphia and then he's like who's your favorite actor and you know the big reveal is tom hanks

and he shows you that like i before this i said all these things and i like made it come in their head and then there was like a bunch of outtakes where like they didn't say yeah i was gonna say i tried to do this to you guys yes in detroit i forget what i was trying to do so funny yes ah fuck what was it it was something at the restaurant i was trying to get you guys to order something it was a fruit i think you were gonna like try to yes it was orange somehow oranges yes you were gonna try to you're like i've been taught yes it was it was it was yes i was gonna you were like at the end of the night, you were like, have you guys noticed I've been talking about oranges all day?

The only thing I've said is orange. I was trying to get you to say it on stage, I think. And I said it to a camera before. I'm like, I'm going to get Kevin to say it. You were going to try to subconsciously get me to say this. And you started planting seeds at like 11 a.m. It just didn't work. It just didn't work. Anyway, K work anyway anyway kfc radio lore go ahead sorry and then we got way off there we and then he was like so how did dan

come on and i was like i think dan did a few episodes i think i think dan was a guest i think that was an idea where it was like me and you were doing it was his face in it no no no he he the first one he did we put like a like a cartoon of a cat i think okay because i knew what it was the idea of a mask maybe we were mad but we never actually did that right i think i think that was like i'm not wearing i'll just come full time i think so i think he did a probably a handful of episodes with just no logo or just a logo, no face. And then I don't know how many. It might have been a decent

amount though because I think the Neil thing it went on long enough for there to be a whole Neil revolution and Neil jokes and Neil storylines. But was Dan on KC Radio kind of right away? No. Yeah, that's probably true. I think it was he blogging. That was probably like the last thing before he he was like all right fuck it let's yeah um but there

was probably you know at least a handful of episodes with him putting his uh putting the the graphic up and then uh and then it was just the three of us yeah that was about the three minutes of the talk um but that's the lore at one point i asked billy so who that's you're obviously on it but where do you put yourself amongst the top five crazy people barstool billy was very taken aback you're stunned that you put i'm on it well that's the sun and then that's how you know that you're correct in putting them there. You want to know what was even crazier is when I said Dante's one and he went, Dante's on it. And that's how you know that's correct. The people who go like, yeah, that checks out.

I'm actually like, well, maybe you shouldn't be on it then. That was very self-aware. It's the people who deny it that I'm like, yeah, man, you're fucking, you're proving the point. Yeah. He was like was he was like he's like ah really there's love there's different crazies like he's not the same kind of crazy he's like crazy he's like you know he's kind of like got like a puppy dog brain and like there's kind of like there's idiot crazy meathead crazy crazy crazy you know there's all different kinds it all feels more uh fun not as in he's

having fun with it it just feels more fun his obsession with all of that stuff yeah dante's is more like the world's coming to an end i gotta go back yeah yeah yeah i think i think billy falls more on my side of things where it's like i don't know how the pyramids were made and like maybe some funny shit happened and dante's like they're listening to us now like cover your webcam and lock your doors and all that shit which they are it's just i just don't care yeah yeah it's been happening yeah um all right we're gonna get into our voicemails they are brought to you by house of the dragon i brought my man bob fox in one third of the uh of our podcast which are we are we gonna revive it we have to we gotta do it we have to I'm ordering my wig on Amazon as hell yeah I was gonna say we

gotta get the costumes going so we will be back uh doing our podcast every Sunday night after the episode airs but we're getting uh we're getting the ball rolling here the question is Team Black versus Team Green. I think if you're Team Green, I think we need to throw you in a cage and lock you away. Well, it worries me because we're seeing so much, are you Team Black? Are you Team Green? It feels like saying, are you rooting for the good guys or the bad guys? Yeah. It makes me think Team Black is going to be doing some bad stuff this season. I guess so.

It's going to make us be like, I don't even know yeah and i mean maybe it is like politics right maybe it's like you know i i'm so firmly i hate everyone on team black and i'm so strongly with rainier and damon that i'm the opposite you hate team green yes and i'm so firmly with rainier and damon that i'm like what could happen? Then again, it's been a while since season one. We do forget, Daemon isn't the best guy. No, but he shows up when it counts. Yes, and the other guys are so petty and driven by jealousy.

The other guys are incels. Yeah, they're disgusting. Daemon is fucking who he wants to fuck, even if it means someone that he's related to or whatever. There's no blood crossing here. Yeah. So if I was watching House of the Dragon and I was like,

I would be like, shit, I really like them. I would keep that a secret. Keep it a secret. I would never be out here screaming it from the mountaintops. No, you're crazy. I'm Team Green. You've got to be out of your goddamn mind.

But that being said, Team Green is a bunch of of freaks they attract a bunch of freaks well and you know what and also as i say this in game of thrones we used to root for incest uh incest all the time yeah we loved incest john snow and so game of thrones does have a way of making you root for things that you're like wait a minute minute. Oh, what did I just report? Forget you're in a fantasy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

There's dragons. It's dragons. Uh, so that's where we're at. Uh, firmly team black. Uh, we'll see what happens. Like I said, the podcast every night, every week after every Sunday night, after the episode airs, you can see me, Bob and Clem break it down. Uh, but don't miss the season two premiere of House of the Dragon on Sunday night,

June 16th, 9 p.m. on Max. All right, let's get to voicemails, and then we'll get into it with Sal. Buzz and Bean Girl. I feel like that's getting forgotten about, so we got to make sure that that sticks around. I love the Canadians. Anyways, I've got a pretty simple one for you today.

Happened to me just the other day. I was walking out of my house, and a bee was flying at me so i took a swing at it naturally instinct but i also managed to knock this tacky thing off of my ceiling fan which you can see and uh i did this oh shit yeah i was curious not worth it the last thing that you guys broke um managed to uh destroy my tv which was fantastic but you know well just trying to listen to the podcast while making dinner it just makes rico seem like a pure psychopath and you're having to blur his face out what was the last thing you guys broke? That is, by the way, I think even as a grown man, when bees are around, I think is like,

like you talk about a girl getting an ick is I think like watching a guy be afraid of a bee. Because I don't, I at least maybe I'm speaking for myself, but if a bee is flying around me, I'm like, if you can just stand there while like a yellow jacket's just like buzzing on your head and shit i think you're like a navy seal uh i i can't i definitely have like you know broken things because i have that inanimate object rage where i'm just like um yeah i'm not like a big puncher but i definitely like you know like a drawer isn't going in correctly so i just take it and then it just like fully rips apart uh i don't think i've

broken anything of note recently though i broke all the glass not all but i broke a good amount of glasses in a door um i just like glass window panes yeah Yeah, like my apartment has where I keep my silverware. And I just threw a glass at it. Psycho. Talk about crazy. But I did say to Billy, I was like, I don't think violence is crazy. I think most of the time violence is pretty logical. Boy, you do need therapy

I think most of the time with violence you understand where it's like I'm not saying it's the right thing but very often I can trace the tracks of how we got to you that's why there's something called like random acts of violence you don't understand why he just shot that person on the street right usually it's like oh you didn't like this person and this happened and they said this and they use it right and that's great i gotta get it yeah um and then and you did that because you thought it would make you feel better like the i but i love i was so happy i did because i was so fucking mad and i was like god fucking god i fucking threw it i shattered i broke the door broke the window broke a bunch of glasses inside and i was instantly in a great mood i was like, God fucking damn it. I fucking threw it. I shattered it. I broke the door, broke the window, broke a bunch of glasses inside.

And I was instantly in a great mood. I was like. Did it make you be like, all right, I got to calm down? Or you were just like laughing that you were. Because sometimes if I, when I do get that inanimate object rage and I'm making things worse for myself. Where it's just like, if I just calm down and like move it this way it'll be fine but i choose to fucking go crazy and then when shit gets really fucked up i start i'm like all right i gotta relax yeah yeah calm down you fucking moron yeah it's 100 yeah yeah yeah what am i saying dude i gotta clean up a shit little glass

yes yes every time i break something i'm instantly in a better mood in me like i'm good holes in his walls oh yeah what he's a big meathead puncher you should have seen my college i think that is the dumbest fucking thing when i see guys do that and they inevitably like break a knuckle i'm like that was not fucking it got my my sophomore year my villa cortez in tallahassee apartment that thing but were you punching like like but like it was easy to punch it was easy it was easy to punch like when when like kevin brown punched a fucking brick wall and broke his hand and it's like well now what are you gonna do if you if you can just easily put your hand through some dead uh some uh dry and it's like, well, now what are you going to do, dickhead? If you can just easily put your hand through some drywall, it's like, whatever.

But the people who will punch something that is like, you now have broken fingers, I think you're the dumbest fucking asshole in the world. Yeah, I'll pretty rarely do that. But it's... Jackie was like, wah. It's funny because the trope is holes in the wall, and Saturdays are for the boys' flag. Yeah, the holes came first. The flag covers the holes.

Yeah, no, that apartment, it's the apartment I got robbed in. I remember someone looked up the Villa Cortez apartment hunter or whatever you call it, like ratings, and everything was like zero. So the hands went through pretty easily. like apartment hunter or whatever you call it, like ratings and everything was like zero. And so the, the hands went through pretty easily. But when I moved out of that apartment, there were 20 holes in the walls. This is why I don't get why you guys are like,

woman can't like run the country because they're like, it's true. What are you talking about? I never said that. No, not you guys. Oh yeah, that argument I'm constantly making.

Yeah. No, I, I think it, there's two it there's two there's two uh like girls are overly emotional with like they'll cry and guys will get like have rage but also guys have started all the wars yeah yeah and especially like it's one thing if like you're except the hell if there's a real there's really no... There's really no reason worth punching a fucking wall. But 99% of the time, it's because of sports.

But there is a reason. My sport team lost, and I start punching a hole through a wall, and then you turn around and go, women can't leave the country because they're too emotional. The reason, again, I think it's a lot because I think you feel so much better. It's like when you stub your toe and you're like, fuck! And you're fine right away. You're immediately fine.

Rage makes you feel better. Like I don't know about that. That might be a Feidelberg feeling. I'm sure there's plenty of guys that agree with you, but I don't do the rage. I usually do the, like, stay overly calm sort of thing almost like trying to be condescending like if the other person is getting angry yeah yeah i'm i'm gonna be as calm as i can to piss them off yeah but then i go into a room and destroy it just came through like a fucking chimpanzee

oh by the way that was the first time my parents made me go to therapy oh you destroyed a room oh yeah you threw a fucking chair through a window

yeah but you were like eight right I was in elementary school I just grabbed a chair and threw it out a window my mom's like

what the fuck was that yo I'm thinking about that now Keegan's a little bit younger he's turning seven in like a month if Keegan threw a fucking chair out a

window right now I would be like yo we have to send you away we're locking you up dude it was in my bedroom and i had a chair at my desk it was honestly so smooth where i just kind of i grabbed it and grow up and what happened that is crazy like like not only did you do it, but it's like, that was a little too easy for young John Henry. That's crazy. It's a miracle you're not, like, an actually violent guy. Just, you got all the meathead running through you. You got the body to fucking kill somebody. By the way, go watch the Out of Order vlog.

You in the Fiat was even better than I expected. Were you hamming it up a little bit, or was it that tight? No, no, it was. I was like, this might be acting, because he's really struggling. So I wasn't, it's not hamming it up. The first five seconds, I couldn't find,

it wasn't a very noticeable door handle. So I wasn't struggling, I just couldn't see it. Right, right, right. But that like, and then when you stand up, and your whole top half disappears. You look like George Mirosan in a car. Like a glove, baby. Like a glove.

That vlog was so good, man. Pat is unbelievable. Yo, he's so good that like... I was like, we should just do any sort of vlog. It doesn't even need to be good. Because he just makes it look good. And then everyone's like, wow, this looks great. Content could suck.

And it's just like, wow, look at these transitions and look at this and that. I don't think you had it in the original draft you sent me. When you have the fucking Porsche whip around and erase Turin. So cool. That was cool. That was cool. Damn cool, dude. That was cool. I'm sure he's like, that's so easy to do.

You're all morons. But yeah, the vlog was outstanding. Next voicemail. That's kind of a clever way to not show your face. Hey, guys. Here's my submission for the month of May. So I have milk crates at work. And on them, it's labeled misused punishable by law and i looked and it's like a one year to a thousand dollar fine makes me think did pdd ever do a milk cake

challenge is that what the milk crate challenge was for to get people to jail for doing some al capone style stuff thoughts i i thought it was gonna go a different direction where To get people to jail for doing some Al Capone-style stuff? Thoughts? I thought it was going to go a different direction where there's so many, like, remember growing up, the pillow tags? Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a couple of those things where it's like, this is punishable by all. Connecticut is still, and I think there are many states like this, or a couple, like, I want to say it's more than four women can't live together. Yeah, the brothel law.

Brothel law, yeah. I think that's Massachusetts too. Is it, Matt? I don't know. I only know because I had friends who went to Quinnipiac, and that's why they couldn't have sorority houses. I feel like I've heard that about in Massachusetts schools as well. I actually weirdly didn't really have any friends who went to Massachusetts schools. Yeah, I think any – it's single women too.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I guess like a bunch of married chicks could all live – if you have like five married couples living together, that's okay. It's a women, too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I guess a bunch of married chicks could all live in... If you have five married couples living together, that's okay. It's a polycule. But more than four single women living in a house together is considered a brothel. Because you guys are selling your bodies. Four single chicks? You're whores.

Those girls are all whores, automatically. There's no other reason that four girls would ever live together except for whoring themselves out there are really are still some probably archaic ass laws out there yeah for sure and when you think about the shit that like well i mean there's it's a episode of designated survivor shout out where he has someone from maybe the uae i forget saudi saudi arabia somewhere like that and they come with their child bride and he's like this is insane can't have this yada yada yada and so he's like he immediately goes to the podium and he's like we have to ban you know i won't do any business people who have child brides and stuff like that and then they find out it's everywhere in america and it's and and then i don't know how true this is

um to reality but in the show when they're trying to ban it in america it's both sides don't want it to be banned it is because it's like christian the only thing that can unite us fucking kids it's christian conservatives don't want you know they don't want that to lose that inability and i forget what liberals issue with it was and again i don't know if that's what the actual happens in the actual world but it's what happened in the show and it was like every state you can it's you can have child brides that's like like all 50 all of them yeah you need a parent's signature or something like that but it's not that hard to get yeah yeah and then he realized he's gonna lose every voter if he bans child brides so he does not some like a black mirror episode hey kfc radio so i think i Hey, KFC Radio. So I think I have a new one that you guys probably have not heard before.

So to preface this, technically, I am disabled. I have epilepsy that falls under the ADA and everything. So technically, I qualify for things. The Summer Special Olympics are coming up. I can't tell if my boyfriend is lying or not but he said he signed me up to compete now the question is do i go and compete because there's two outcomes if i lose i lost special olympics and i'm like aside from my seizure disorder which is under under control, I function normally. I have a job. Like I live my life. I drive my car and everything.

By the way, but if I lose, you know, I might lose like to someone who's like missing limbs and stuff. So, you know, also like what's the penalty for my boyfriend? What an asshole, like signing me up without my permission. It's like, you know, you're just doing this to make fun of me. I really need to know your thoughts. And, like, if I win, what should his punishment be? And if I lose, what's my punishment?

I would love to hear your input. I really think this is a great mix of, like, a what if and a mix of am I an asshole? So, it's a great move secretly signing someone up for the special olympics is awesome it's the greatest boyfriend move i mean i like i signed my girlfriend up for the special olympics i don't know she's allowed to participate i don't know how she how you presented it to her you know you get like an email do you get you throw a little little little piece of paper across the table? Like, hey, babe, check that out. I don't know how it got announced, but that's an awesome move.

Secondly, the way she was like, I live my life. I have a job and I can drive a car. Like pretty much everybody in the special Olympics can do all those things. Dude, you're epileptic. The only thing you can't do is ride like rides with laser beams on them you just can't see shows at the sphere you can do everything else pretty much everybody can do can like have a job um you know would be the ultimate if this if this bitch went it did it and had a seizure in the middle of her event she was like i'm so'm so fast, I'm going to dust these guys.

And still won. It's the new rabbit in the hair. She's the hair just sprinting ahead, having seizures, getting back up, sprinting ahead. She should do it to even the playing field. You can't take your medication. That's fair. They don't have certain – the other disabilities don't have a solution. it to even the playing field you can't take your medication oh that's fair you know like they they they don't have certain the other disabilities don't have a a uh in that in that argument i

you'd have to be like you'd have to say well you can't put on your fake leg i do agree with that by the way sometimes i'm like i don't know i think they should have to like do it without that that's what this is all about right if I can't take my medicine you can't use your nothing nothing a doctor has added to the mix

is allowed in this race I think I think isn't that what kind of like PEDs are yeah you know so it's

I think that's the way the regular sports are being done so I guess it depends on you know what she's good at

imagine if she just like dominated every fucking thing. Bro, I'd love her to be point guard of Team USA. That would be, I mean, there's obviously, first of all, shout out to The Ringer. This movie is basically done. Johnny Knoxville movie. I don't think I'd be able to do it, but I would love to. Just to walk in. I would love someone else to do it and watch it and all that.

I don't think I could do it myself. Yeah, you walk in the Special Olympics with an epilepsy. Everyone's looking at you like you're Team Iceland at the Goodwill Games. Yeah. Those are the bad boys already. Right, right, right. You look normal. You're acting normal.

Everything else is good. How is this possible? Epilepsy. Fucking the epileptics are doing it again. But also, I do think as you, you know, Special Olympics start local, as you move up to Special Olympics, I'm sure she could win wherever she is. You're going to lose. I was going to say, is there something we don't know about the story where you're an

All-American track runner or something? Because you'll get smoked by these guys. I don't think I could win a single Special Olympics event. Maybe local. I think this stuff, because I know I know my friend whose sister had special needs, and she used to do the local to our town, and we'd go, because it would just be at the high school football field and stuff like that. It wasn't big.

As you move up, I imagine the competition gets pretty tight. I would definitely think so. I also think there's a difference between if you are missing a limb versus you have a mental disability. Yeah, yeah. think so i also think there's a difference between like if you are missing a limb versus like you have a mental disability yeah yeah i'm sure they did you know they separate all that out but yeah you're talking pretty fucking confident it's like a wipe the floor with these fucking speds sped was a word man you can still kind of get away with it it's like it's not like the worst you know but if you know what it is the uh uh final answer though i mean i feel like you can't

back out yeah you can't back out you gotta go do it but but but the thing is while you're there i would feel so uncomfortable being me i'm just assuming I can just do this and have epilepsy. I don't really know. But if I was me, and I just had my epilepsy, I think I'd show up. And be too afraid to do it? No, I think I would act.

I think I'd like kind of... I'd have to like... You'd act like mental or physical? Would you throw in a limp, or would you be like... I'd probably to like you'd act like mental or physical would you throw in a limp or would you be like I'd probably go limp I'd probably go limp

but yeah I mean limp's just the safest way to go I don't think limp is enough though I don't think you'd be like

oh you're in the Special Olympics because you got a limp I also have a stutter the yeah that's what I mean would you throw because you got a limp. I also have a stutter. Yeah, that's what I mean. If you had a limp, a stutter, and you... Honestly, if they asked you math questions, I think you would qualify. But I just...

I wouldn't want that. We were talking about it with Iceland. I wouldn't want that air about me. Well, I think it would be... I think if you're going to do it, you got to do it you gotta do it and be like fuck it like like you gotta talk shit you gotta be like i smoked you guys you know you can't be like i'm so sorry yeah you gotta be the fucking villain man you gotta be like like like you guys suck at this you guys suck. No, seriously.

No, for real. I mean, you guys suck. I hope all you got picked last in gym class because you guys are all terrible. Last one? Or was that three? One more. What up, guys? I was listening to Tuesday's episode.

And KFC, or should I say future president president of kfc you almost have my vote you were going to create the department of wedding vendor oversight yep fully endorsed as someone that's about to uh get married this summer i need you to go a step further outlaw save the dates save the dates one of the worst rackets of all the wedding vendor rackets it's a fucking letter that you spend hundreds of dollars on, mail it to 100 people, go to the fucking post office to say, hey, you're about to get another letter in a couple months that actually tells you the event details. It is a huge racket.

Matter of fact, eliminate invitations too. Every invitation we send, half of my friends fucking lose it and just text me and I send them to the fucking website. And then the the other half look at it go to the website say yes or no make it all virtual then you have my vote uh i'm interested in other wedding related crimes that you would outlaw bro they're all they're all they're all crimes against humanity like i completely disagree with everything you just said though not everything Not everything, but the virtual stuff. I am on the exact opposite side. I knew you would be.

Ban virtual invitations. You love that shit. I don't need the virtual, but I don't need $7,500 invitations. But it's not even for weddings, whatever. I like getting the invitation. I kind of put them up, whatever. But that's the virtual invitation for just regular parties yeah that's weird that's it that's because i get my family it's not really

my friends who do it but it's right family for different birthdays and gatherings like that and then i'll i'll just i'll see it and you know 99% of time i don't go because i live here and and i'll get a text from my mom like hey can you reply to so and so's thing like that's i'm not going yeah so can you just look and then to say no forces you to rsvp because it's like a they make they make it easy for you in a way and then it's like i don't want to say no and then they but even to go to say no i have to give them all my information and like why does this fucking website yeah i you know there it's you know it is bringing sand to the beach there's 10 billion websites that have all my information but it's like i don't there's i'm I'm like, why does this fucking website – it is bringing sand to the beach. There's 10 billion websites that have all my information.

But it's like I don't – I'm not going to the party in Massachusetts. I live in New York. I'm with you on that. I'm with you on that. And I also do think your wedding is a big enough thing where like – I mean half the time I think those things are spam and neat. You know what I mean? I don't even look at it. So I do think we're probably still in a world where a paper invitation for your wedding is is fine i think you can put you can

skip out and save the date but i i mean the invitation's nice it's a nice yeah but you haven't paid for them yet when you're paying for it it's fucking it's insane it's criminal it's like there's a market for it i guess you cannot You cannot do it. Yeah. But you can't. That's why, as president, when I win, I will ban it. Because it's much like when I say I'm going to make paternity tests mandatory, prenups mandatory, because there's an awkwardness inherently, and you get socially pressured into not doing these things or doing these things. And so I'm going to outlaw it so that you don't even feel the pressure. Because I'm with you, and I was like, you don't even feel the pressure because i'm with

you and i was like i don't think we should spend the money on it but there was a little part of me being like there are going to be people who think i'm like trash because i don't have like the right calligraphy on my you know and if it was just like not allowed to do it you're not allowed to spend more than a thousand dollars on this it's it's illegal you will go to jail. You know what? If we're going to do all this societal pressure thing, I think you'd have to ban getting married in your 20s. Because then you don't care

about pressures anymore. You want to run with me? I did this episode when you were gone. You want to run with me? We can be running mates. You can ban it. I thought about this before because there's other rules for shit. You know what I mean? We randomly pick 18. We randomly pick 21. It's not.

And they've made marriage a like a it's you can't like put an age on like love. But marriage is not love. Marriage is a government thing that gets done the same way you go get a government license. The same way the government says you can't drink before you're 21. If you're going to sign up for our marriage thing, you can't do it until you're at least 30 i love that because then you're 30 you don't you know like you know maybe a little bit later after 30 like 32 33 i stopped caring about pressures yeah but in the beginning yeah absolutely i'm like when you're in your 20s you're very much keeping up with the jones susceptible to pressures like that like i'm just gonna do what i want to do yes yes yeah i i really i don't know if it was like it's almost

like uh i don't know how to do this because you have to go through it to learn from it so yeah you know but like i was still such a kid when i got married like i think about the way i was moving the way i was thinking and acting and shit like and now having gone through it and getting divorced and real you know now i think i'm ready for it yeah yeah i was not even in the right stratosphere to get married and i was like 30 you know it's just but it's just like you don't have you have not done anything in life yet other than like get fucked up and party and stumble your job. You know what I mean? You have no perception on anything where you do think that the flowers matter and the invitations matter.

And it's like I don't know how you can make young people not feel that way because they haven't lived it yet. But we'll try. We're going to fucking ban you. There's so much pressure to do all of that. I'm not a wedding expert by any means. The great weddings I've been to were all in backyards. Yep.

Small little things where it's like fun. Yours doesn't count because we didn't really know each other that well, and I didn't know anyone else at the wedding. So the great weddings I've been to are everyone's friends with everyone. You don't have to walk on eggshells about my way it's fine you know what i mean though like it is like yeah yeah that was like we just sat at the table with jj because we didn't know anybody else yeah the way when every wedding i've been to in

the backyard everyone knows everyone you play the band you drink all night yes that's it it's like the tent was probably expensive aside from that i don't think they were very expensive think about like when you have the best parties are the ones that are like kind of just cobbled together at the last second the ones that are like we're planning the big blowout of the year it's like i don't know there's too many people remember that one time though where we just like grabbed a keg and we woke up and we're day drinking and blah blah blah yeah same fucking thing same thing applies um but yeah uh we can run as run on the same ticket all right finalberg is gone uh but i do have to say that the response from the kfc radio presidential platform episode has been a strong one a lot of people are agreeing with the platform everything from riding trains to uh to banning

weddings and everything in between. And I'm also finding out a lot of people are reaching out about certain things that have actually already been fixed. We had the idea to crowdsource health insurance. There's a company that already does that called CrowdHealth. So they reached out to me and they were like, this is actually something we do and we can even create a stoolie network.

So I don't know. There's a lot of really cool stuff going on with that. So check out CrowdHealth. They seem like they're fixing the problem we were talking about. And right now we're going to get into our interview with Sal Volcano. He's got a new special out. He's on tour. You know him from Impractical Jokers.

You know him from Hey Babe, Taste Buds buds one of the hardest working men in hollywood it's brought to you by aura frames um father's day is coming up and nobody ever knows what to get their dad and aura frames is a perfect solution to that problem it's a digital picture frame where uh you can upload new photos of your your kids your family, and you don't have to ever have actual photos to hang. You can make a slideshow. You can send it to other family members. It is basically having photos of your family in the 21st century. Dads are so difficult to shop for, but deep down, we all know that dads and grandfathers, they all love their kids and they love seeing pictures of them. And so you can get this digital picture frame where you can take your picture, send it to the

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It's A-U-R-A Frames.com slash KFC and get $30 off their best-selling frame. That's AuraFrames.com slash KFC. The deal ends June 18th. So don't wait. Use code KFC at checkout to save. Terms and conditions apply. Let's get into it with Sal. What would you have an alarm at 4 o'clock for?

I have alarms all day long. Yes, me too. What, do you got to take your birth control? I don't remember anything. Apparently. I have to set the alarms. That's crazy. I mean, one's at 9 o'clock.

It says, don't eat junk food. Don't eat junk food. Do you follow that one? I don't remember that. That one, I turn off right away. Dude, I've been trying to work on my snacking. Yeah. So everything is sugar-free now and it just

sucks. No, it's actually tasty. Really? But it just destroys me. But sugar-free, sugar-free like, like,

like, like the fake shit because they say that's worse. It's, dude, and it's, it's, like your stomach?

It wreaks havoc on me. Like, I wake up, I wake up in the morning like in physical pain. Well, yeah, because I think it's,

it's bad for you, but I feel like our bodies are so well, like a well-oiled machine with this sugar. You guys are going to think I'm absolutely crazy, but I have one, I have OCD. I have ADHD. One OCD thing, just one. It's corners near my face.

I'm not even making a joke. We can talk about it. But I'm like, that's why I put my phone right here to cancel out the corner. No way. I'm talking to you guys. I hope it doesn't. So what? You're going to hit your head on it?

No, it's not explainable. I think we should just fuck. Is this good? Like this? I'm done. Now it's good. It's not explainable. 100%.

100%. Fully done. Good. Did you ever fall as a kid and hit your head on the... Now I'm great. I could talk to you for hours. This looks ridiculous. No, no, no, no.

We can talk about it. It looks like we just met by accident here. Did you fall and hit your head on the corner one day or something? I don't know if this is what it's from, but this eye... One of my eyes is a red dot in it one of them has like a red scar right here yeah my sister hit me in the face with a malibu ken doll uh when i was like eight or something like that and uh that could

be the reason well was it in package it was a corner no it was just plastic hand coming right oh so just anything that could anything that could do damage. No, I don't think that's what it is. I just said an OCD thing. I put my brother through a table. Not through it, but he into. We were playing floor hockey as kids. And it's actually exactly right there.

Oh, really? He's got a scar right here. And he's in stitches and all that good stuff. And I remember I had a fear for a little while afterwards because even though I was the one who did it, but I was like, that looked bad. Oh, yeah, that's traumatic for you too. Yeah, absolutely.

I knew a kid who he was playing on the back of a recliner and it went down and he hit the windowsill and his two teeth went up back into his gums. Oh, no. You want to just keep doing gross i have a chip front tooth that i of all things i chipped on a miller high life bottle you're trying to open it's not worth it i mean that's not worth it you know changing your face i was making a joke too i was i used the bar and i was at the bar and i said something i

went to swig it for comedic effect and it hit my tooth and chipped off. This was like over 10 years ago and then I lived with it, insecure about it for like 10 years. Then like a year ago, I was at the doctor and I was like, the doctor dentist and I was like, I have this chip. I don't know what to do. He's like, what do you mean? He's like, you want to fix that?

I said, how much? He goes, it's nothing free. I said, you're going to fix this for free in one minute. I've been doing it for 10's nothing free I said you're gonna fix this for free in one minute I've been doing it for 10 years all I do when I look at a photo is look at the Miller High Life chip

and he came in he matched it exactly put it in front of my face and it was like it was one of those moments where I was like so overjoyed but furious

yeah decade of stress it was one minute it's like you gotta ask questions did you not go to the dentist for 10 years before that no no no but I just never really brought it up brought it up Yeah, yeah, yeah. A decade of stress. It was one minute. It's like, you got to ask questions. Did you not go to the dentist for 10 years before that? No, no, no.

But I just never really brought it up. Probably like a while, though. My dad, he got in a car accident when he was younger. He was missing his two front teeth. What do you ask for for Christmas? I discovered that as like a five-year-old. No. When he sneezed at the dinner table and his teeth went flying around the table.

And I was like, ah! Dad's head's falling apart! I've got no food. I've got no money. My dad's teeth are falling out. We're white trash? What the hell? I don't frequent strip clubs.

I could count on my hand as many times, but I was in Myrtle Beach over 10 years ago for a friend's bachelor party. We went golf. I don't even golf either. And a stripper, right? That's what they're called? Yeah. I don't know.

Sometimes the name changes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was in a chair, and she sat down. She walked over, got on her knees in front of me, and then she went, I swear to you, she was like rubbing my leg and she went, you want to see something cool? And I went, what? And she goes, ah!

And she spit all of her teeth out. No way! Yeah, and then she had gum and she was like, ah! And she was like, they love it when I gum them. Oh my God! And I was horrified. They love it when I gum them. I was absolutely horrified. I mean, that's crossing a line. Yeah. I'm a paying, I'm a patron. I wasn horrified. They love it when I go on them. I was absolutely horrified.

I mean, that's crossing a line. I'm a patron. Usually you at least check it, feel it out. Yeah, let me know about that. It was scary. It wasn't even like, ew. She did say, do you want to see something cool? But I always argue with strip clubs that I'm also not a strip club guy.

If someone in the group is like we're going to strip club i'll tag along but it's not my idea ever yeah and i have always argued that it's more for the story and fun than it is to get turned on yeah so i like when something wacky like that yeah yeah i don't i don't want my story to be like dude there was this chick who was so fucking hot my boner was so big no shit you were at a strip club to be like, dude, there was this chick who was so fucking hot. My boner was so big, bro. No shit, you were at a strip club. But the guys who are, you can tell, are into it because they're hot versus like, if you can put on a circus display for me, I'm all for it. No, they always come around to see.

I always have to be like, before they even get to me, I'm like, I'm going to play with them. They don't come near me, but I don't want to lead you on either right i don't want to give you money for anything i don't need to see you you know but i'm here bad saying no and it's just like sometimes i'll give it like a thing i'm like i don't just go i went to a bachelor party in miami uh recently and we went to tootsies which i never been to i actually i'll be honest that's my old school when i was there I realized I have been here before. I went with Willie Colon. That's a great feeling.

It was like memento. I went with Willie Colon in Miami Super Bowl. I started looking around, and I was like, oh, no, I've been here. Is Tootsie's like old Vegas, or is it just? No, it's in Miami. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Oh, okay. I think it's just popular.

I don't know if it's older. It's a former Costco. So it's humongous. I didn't know that. What? I think it's the biggest strip club in the world. It better be. There's something that can beat a Costco.

So did they do like $100 packs for like 10 strip? Well, I was on a 10 strip party. They got the dollar hot dogs. I was on a 10 strip party bachelor and like the guys who had the party knew the owner so they set us up and we get to the vip and it was it was honestly it was the most turned off i've ever been in my life and i think it must be how women feel walking into every club because it was just getting gawked at like the owner had i guess like gotten girls ready and all that stuff so we're like waiting he's like all right girls get ready yeah it was honestly that so we're sitting down in the corner booth like that and there were

no joke 30 women waiting for us to sit like just standing there like at the ready and i was like this sucks yeah and then they got over and they like started dancing on us and whispering like you want to go do coke and fuck in the bathroom? And I was like, yeah, more than anything. Never mind. This is pretty sweet. That's out of the gate, which means that's the opening line to everyone. How much coke and sex is that person having a week?

We got there so late. We got there like 2 a.m., so I think they were just throwing. They were throwing. It was coke hours. Yeah, big time hey can you gum me yeah what's your teeth situation babe what it is it was like kind of disappointing to realize how like primal all your masculine urges are because like like sitting there objectively i was like this is disgusting and i do not approve this it's like do you want

to come fuck me like this is the best two things can be true at the same time i um i uh i used to when i was younger there was a strip club in jersey that all the all the kids in like college we would go there like it was the ones that was like open during the week and they had like a buffet yeah yeah yeah yeah and um so we would go to that one back then, and it was like $5, $10 to get in, whatever it was. But if you went enough, if you went a couple times, they asked you to sign the mailing list. I don't know. If you just signed the mailing list, that's what it was. If you signed the mailing list, they sent you what looks like, I guess, a Costcoco card yeah i'll show you a costco card when you went in and then they sent

you man then it's you don't have to pay anymore so it's it's really like if you're paying at the door you just didn't sign up for the man it's a sucker's thing right so everyone we knew we'd go more than once then you get it right so i i was like like, all right. I wrote it. Not thinking. It's getting mailed to the house. Oh, no. So me and my dad have the same name. So my stepmom opened the envelope. And it was like the gold card for like, this could go-go-rama. And it was the gold card. And she came to me.

She's like, this came in the mail. Is this yours? And I looked. Because it had like a paper paper in there too like with the the address and stuff like not an invoice but you know what I mean yeah

so I opened it up and it just said Salah Khan I was like it's not mine I was like I don't I don't know maybe it's junk

maybe it's I don't know threw it out waited 10 minutes got right back in the garbage got that back out never paid a cover charge that's great

that is a good one so wait we got a special and I saw Waited 10 minutes, got right back in the garbage, got that back out, never paid a cover charge. That's great. That is a good one. So, Wade, we got a special, and I saw the tour you're on is, I believe you said, if your city is not mentioned in this, don't worry, I'm coming to every city on earth. Yeah, yeah. So, big, big things going on right now. I feel like... I can't believe this is your first stand-up. Yeah, I never put anything to tape. I had a couple of

TV things, but like, yeah. And that's actually the whole thing. I've been touring non-stop, and you know, a lot of people don't know I'm a comic. Right. My fans do, but I'm trying to educate other people. So finally, to get this, I had the time to do this, to get it out there,

just trying to reach a new audience so you know more people can come see me and all that stuff but I mean you almost have this like ace up your sleeve

where it's like you have there's the fans that watch the show and know you're a comic but then there's probably still a lot that watch the show and don't know you're a comic

who will want to go see you right away they just need to know that's what I'm hoping they just need to find out and once you do that you have you probably like doubled your audience which is already fucking huge yeah

and then it's on youtube and it's free everyone has it like text the link someone's watching it so it's called terrified um yeah it's a it's out right now it's on 800 pound gorillas uh channel which is i know that sounds weird to people like a stand-up comedy channel my channel is like algorithms to podcasting. Got it. I was wondering why you didn't do it yourself. Yeah, yeah. I might put it up on mine later, but they're a partner in this with me, so we put it up there. That's a lot of foresight.

That's an impressive amount of foresight. Yeah, I mean, I had conversations with YouTube executives. We really, really did it in a certain way. Oh, really? Yeah. So, yeah, so that's out now. Can I ask you a question? Yeah.

Is that a Todd Snyder shirt in the special? Oh, what? In the special. No, it's actually a Tombolo. It did look like a Todd Snyder, though. It's a nice shirt. That's so funny. I just learned about Todd Snyder.

Really? Yeah, I bought my first Todd Snyder shirt not even two weeks ago. Yeah, I had a photo shoot, and I had to get a whole bunch of clothes and like I, yeah, my lady was like, oh, what about this, you know, website? And I was like,

I'll try and I have a shirt. It looks very, it has an elevated jaker. I was like, how did I not know about this guy? I thought I fucking nailed it, man. $208 for a Knit shirt?

I was like, no way, the tags are still on it. I'm not joking. Since I'm a kid, I have about 50% of my wardrobe has tags on it still

because I don't know you know it might I might take it do you wear it with a tag on yeah no way dude

I swear on my life I've been public about this because you know it's really first for like the it's really first

about like whatever the place's return window is 30, 60, 90 but then you gotta be honest I forget they're on there. But then I went ahead and said, F that, and I went on eBay or Amazon, and I bought the tagging gun. So you could re-tag? I don't understand.

I don't understand. They're like ironclad law. It's like, if the little plastic thing is is off no way but you know if you if it's on it doesn't matter what happened to it so i'm like well i'm gonna get it so so you yeah so if i ever did take one off in the past i would have in the past i would take them all off and i had a cigar box full of the tags so that if i wore it and i was like ah this is tight and like the way i was just tagging again and bring it back then i was like why am i doing this extra step now i just leave the tags dude now we're gonna turn into a real therapy session yeah

because sal you're probably aware of this you're a rich man what save money i saved my money yeah so is this from a principle it's principle it's principle and nothing to do with uh the money i just uh i hate feeling like I made the wrong decision. That's therapy. There it is. There it is. It's not even the principle of returning. It's about the decision making.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So if I like pay money for a shirt and then I don't like it or whatever, and I'm just like, I'm stuck with this thing. Did you make a bunch of bad decisions in your life? You're doing great, so I'd imagine not. Sure I have. You know what I mean? That's why I'm like, I am so, I just overthink overthink i mean i'm therapy for overthinking like you know well for

many things but like it's one of the things like i even like an easy decision will take me like five minutes like that's crippling it can be crippling yeah and with combined with adhd you know what i mean but there's just this thing that like i will spend you know picking out a shirt right like on a website, I'll spend an hour on that. And I have to break myself away. Or even just being the simplest thing. Do I want to, I don't even know what to tell you.

The easiest thing you can tell me. I'm just like, what flight to take? I have a flight chart up. All right, if I can leave, you know what? In your world, there's a lot of that. What right, if I can leave the, you know what? Like in your world, there's a lot of that. What theater to play? What place to, how much to price tickets? How much to fly?

Those are real choices. So it's the little things that fuck you. It's anything. It's anything. I just want to make sure I made the best decision. Do you regret doing this? No. Can I get my money back on this one?

Dude, the tag gun is... That's commitment. So that was the tag on the... I got the tag on 25 years ago. I still have it. It's in my laundry room drawer. And this is to put the tag back on the tag? Yeah, it's a needle.

You thread a needle with the plastic, and I have long and short. Got it. So I can accommodate any style. What I used to do is I used to literally make a note of where the tag was on the shirt before I ripped it. Because I had a couple of awkward moments where they're like, we don't tag there. And I was like, well, I don't know who got this before me and brought it back. Somebody tagged it there, and it wasn't me what percentage of shirts are you returning

I usually don't really return them you didn't say that oh I never do I have but the percentage is low it's just a safety net you know what I mean it's the comfort of knowing It's the comfort of knowing. It's the comfort of knowing that if I feel like I made the right choice, I have a backup plan.

You are insane. I'm backup plan, unreal backup plan guy. But just let it go, brother. I know. You don't need to have a backup plan for your shirts. I know. You need to have a backup plan for if something goes wrong on tour, not my shirt. I know.

See, but to take this back. I know. I'm self-aware. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? I'll pull myself away from it sometimes. If you're self-aware, you can be as crazy as you want. But if you know it, then it's all good.

But the backup plan is the money. Like, you don't need any plans when you have money. You don't even need the first plan. On the other side of the board, I also don't even need the first plan i just i also don't like to be wasteful that that i get that i get where you're like oh i don't want to wait but one time i i whenever we came out right the we nintendo yes so i got it at target right i brought it home and like from for some reason some discs didn't play in it like for months and months like the we sports it came with it wouldn't't play. So that was out of the box.

I knew this. And I kept being told, oh, no, you're doing it wrong, this, that, the other, whatever. And it's the disc. It's the disc. So I brought it. Finally, months later, I brought it to a friend's house. I put it in, and the disc worked. So I'm like, something's up with my Wii.

But it was past Target's 90-day return period. So I'm like, all right, this is what I'm going to do. They're not going to get over on me so what i did was i oh i keep the boxes for my electronics right i know this is so i packaged the we up as it had come and it was in the neat condition and i went to target and i bought a new and then yeah so but here's where my plan went horribly wrong I bought a new Wii and I made a thing

about it right I was like oh I'm buying this I was like what is your return policy because I'm buying this for my niece and I just want to make sure

like she wants it or you know whatever and they're like 90 days I'm like okay great I walk out to the car I get my Wii I put the new Wii

and I walk right back in I go I just called my sister she already bought it there's levels to this shit I wasn't going to make two trips I get my Wii. I put the new Wii and I walk right back in. I go, I just called my sister. She already bought it. There's levels to this shit. I wasn't going to make two trips. So she already bought it and they go, okay, you know, whatever. And they take the thing

and they scan it and they scan it and they go, scan it and scan it. And they go, this isn't the Wii you just got. And I'm like, what? They're like, what are you talking about?

I just was in here. They're like, no. They turn the box. Every Wii has a serial number that's on the receipt. And the serial number is on the box of the Wii and on the Wii itself. And that wasn't matching the serial number. Oh, so they actually looked at the console itself. Yeah, the console.

But that's also on the box and the console. And it's on the receipt. So he's like, I can't take this back. And I'm like, what do you mean you can't take it? I had to double down. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because let's say I was innocent. How would I react?

Right, right. That's how you have to be. You have to be insulted. I had to show him how I would react. And I was like, what do you mean? What do you mean not taking it back? He's like, this isn't matching. I go, and?

That's my problem? He goes, I said, I just was in here. I just walked in. Yeah, you have to almost act like I don't even know what you mean matching this is right yeah

right and I was like so he's like I can't take it back I'm like I want to see a manager right so let me think

because this has been a while let me think about exactly what I did this is unbelievable so okay okay so I was like no they fought me tooth

and now they wouldn't take it back so I'm like alright so what I did was I left I saved this fight for So what I did was I left. I saved this fight for another day. I took out my Wii. I put it in the box.

Yeah, that's what you had to do. It had the other serial number on it. Yes. And then I went back and I returned that. And they didn't know. It weren't any of the wiser, right? A couple days go by and I'm thinking and I go, oh, my God. I didn't clear the hard drive.

All my information is on there. All my knees, like my face and everything, like the little guy that walks around and says Sal Volcano. It's all still in there. My credit card is stored in there. It's all in there already. It was like that moment at the end of Usual Suspects when he drops the things. I remember when I found out everything was in slow motion like the beaches of Normandy.

And I'm like, what am I going to do about this now? So I call up Q, my buddy from the show, whatever, because he's always, he was with me

through all of this. God love him. And he's like, we got to go back. I said, what do we do? He goes, we have to look at the box

you still have that is the actual serial number. And then we have to go in and find this. And I went back in two days later. We don't even know if it was sold. And believe it or not, you would think that it would be under glass or whatever. But all the Wiis were just in boxes, like accessible. And you found it?

And I found it. Yeah, there was like 30 Wiis there. And we just were going through all the things. But now I had to get that back. So I had to buy it back. I had to buy that Wii back and then go in the car, swap it for the Wii I stole, and then I returned the good Wii,

and I still to this day have the bad Wii. I've heard a story about a woman. This is madness, dude. It's crazy, right? I know. I haven't talked about it in a while. And as I'm talking about it, I'm like, I sound psychotic. Psychotic.

Yeah, I sound psychotic. Well, there's a very famous story of a woman who internally drowned in order to get a weed. Ever heard that? She did what? So it was a hold your, there was a radio station in California. It had a contest. Oh, over, I never heard that term before But I get what it is

And it was It was the contest Was hold your wee And you had to drink A gallon of water And whoever didn't pee the longest Got a wee for free Okay

And she drowned She internally drowned From Drinking too much water Drinking too much water It actually ended She died? Yeah

Dead If you notice Like they don't do that shit Like anymore Where it used to be like I always heard You know you could I always heard You know you can die Yeah ended uh she died yeah that if you notice like they don't do that shit like anymore where it used to be like a like i always heard you know you could i always heard you know you can die on the radio station would be like died on oh yeah i think it was on air i think so yeah yeah i don't know if it was like what a way they you know used to be like come down here and your

story's worse what age was this person i think i think honestly i think it starts i'm sad you didn't know the reference i think it starts to get pretty dark where like i think she was doing it to win it for kids for christmas and you didn't even you should have said that you can't tell me that i take that shit with me when you didn't realize it right away i was like fuck i have to explain what this means i swear to you i swear to you and and I think we talked about this last time, but if we were on air and I heard that story myself, I would cry. Really? I would cry.

That she was... How do you cope with that? Also, you can't put a shit on a wee, bro. You say, mom's dead, but here's a wee. Yeah, I mean, the person that has to relay that information to the children. Mom drank so much water. The obit. The eulogy.

Like, oh, my God. There's no, I guess there's no preemptive sign that you're about to drown. Yeah, I would guess. It's got to be like one sip you're not at a certain point, and then one sip you are. So it's like, yeah, I would guess. It's weird because it's got to be like one sip you're not at a certain point and then one sip you are. So it's like, yeah, I was just like, what the hell? I got another bottle of me. I mean, can't you get the water out of it? You would think, man.

Just fill the water. Just pop a piece of it. Just CPR it. Shoot it out. Just stab her in the belly. Yeah, I've seen that with the tracheotomy. Yeah, like a balloon. That's horrifically tragic. Oneab her in the belly. I've seen that with the tracheotomy. It's like a balloon. That's horrifically tragic.

One of the worst stories ever. So there's 8 billion people on Earth. And yours is worse. I wonder how many people that we believe have been on Earth. Not that populated now. It's got to be, I mean, hundreds of billions. Right? I feel like I remember hearing something about

all of the people adding up till this point equals the billions that are on the planet right now, but I might be making that up. Because I think for a long time there was only millions and that's how many people there are now. I feel like we've been at seven to eight. But I remember seven my whole life. It seemed like it plateaued.

I remember being like, we're going to be at 20 billion. It's about the nose dive. Everybody's drinking too much water. No one like 20 billion. It's about the nose dive. Everybody's drinking too much water. No one's having kids. It's about to dive. I think in two generations, it's going to dive. They said it's, you need to have, I just read this the other day, and there's a number. It's like, you need to have 2.4 births per household in order to keep your population growing.

Enough or nothing, but those half kids they never pan out but it's like it's like it was like america even china uh uh and like a bunch of like the you know first world european countries are all like we're rich and we i think want to just like have a fun life yeah well what i was getting at was that not one person in the history of humankind died the way she died yeah yeah maybe people drown from water but not trying to win there's no one who she's a one of 20 billions and billions yeah hey at least she's got that going hey at least it's a little cocktail story for the kids. Two truths and a lie.

My mom died trying to get a fucking Wii. Oh, my God. How do they adjust? They don't. Oh, my God. This is going to be with me for days. Let me tell you a good story. I'll tell you a nice story.

So I had my kids the other weekend, and I decided to go on a little staycation with them. I love a staycation. So we just got a hotel that I made sure had an indoor pool and all the fun shit it's very funny they're eight and six and it was the first time i did it with them and they like instantly did everything that i did as a kid yeah they were racing down the hallways they were jumping on the bed they wanted to go to the pool it's like they wanted to ride the elevators and i was like every every generation does it that's so great but so i'm in the in the hotel and i i don't know how you guys feel about it but i think that televisions in hotels are from like 1997 still i don't know how we have not gotten better with tvs i say hotels i say some some of them have like the first plasma it's still like a half a foot

yeah yeah and it's got the old remote yeah so we So we're just, I was like, you know, my kids are so used to YouTube and on demand and everything they want. And I was like, we're just going to have to watch cable. Oh, yeah, because they don't have casting. I mean, they don't cast anything. And you're stuck watching Mario Lopez for the whole week. And so it was funny.

We were like flipping around. First of all, I had to teach him about commercials. They were like, what first of all i had to teach them about commercials they were like what is this it's like these are commercials i was like you know how they got the beginning of youtube there's like those five seconds they usually last for like 30 seconds or a minute it's crazy but uh impractical jokers was on and i watched it with my daughter and she loved it loved it and now it's like our little thing. Because it's not too much in the world that can keep parents entertained and the kids are allowed to watch. And she was dying.

It was where you had to try to introduce yourself to someone as many times as you could without them noticing. Which you guys were just ridiculous with some of the outfits. She's screaming at the TV, that one. I know. Screaming at the TV. How could they not know it was him again?

It was very funny. So now we've got Impractical Jokers on the list of things we can watch. Oh, that's awesome. But I'm still thinking about the dead one. Dude, the outfit changes. It's honestly probably my favorite PR stunt of all time is when Superman came out, the newest one. Remember this? I don't remember. Don't tell me.

You know how everyone's always said about Superman. You'd all notice. They just put Henry Cavill in Times Square under the Superman poster, dressed like Clark Kent, not a person's dog. Nobody knows. That's so good.

Fucking prove it. There you go. What were we just talking about before that? The hotel with your kids? Yeah, I lost it. Whatever it is anyway. Oh, the bit that I was dressing up as different people? Yeah, it was something with that. Woman died. I didn't want to say it, but we reached the point where that was the last thing.

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code KFCRADIO for a free mystery gift with your first monthly shipment. boxofawesome.com code KFCFCRADIO for a free mystery gift with your first monthly shipment. boxofawesome.com, code KFCRADIO. You know, when you were talking about population, I remember a conversation I was having with a friend the other day that, tell me or not if this is crazy. I love that it starts off that way. So he was making the argument that at one time and maybe still because i he i started to agree

with him he was one of the greatest hockey players who's ever lived and i was like he's like i was a really good high school hockey player and when you factor in the percentage of people yeah and the time is like i was one of the greatest hockey players who's ever been on the planet ever lived and I was like well I guess that kind of does make sense right I mean

if there was 50,000 great hockey players out of 8 billion I guess he was I mean if you think about every caveman that ever lived they sucked at hockey yeah

they couldn't even stand up that's interesting to a thought that I have and we all share it so I'm about to bestow you something that's really interesting because this is where my mind goes but it's that reminded

me of it because at one point I could beat LeBron at basketball in my life I would beat the shit out of him at basketball at one point there was a point where I could beat him for sure I mean when he was 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 and I was 18 or whatever I just could have served him up real nice

and you could apply that to any sports player. I was a better quarterback than Tom Brady. Well, not Tom Brady. He's the same age as me. But anyone like 10? LeBron, I was going to say, is the same exact age as me. So I was like, no, you couldn't. Five years.

Give me five years. Yeah, because when you're like 13 and someone's even, yeah, like eight, you're probably still done. Yeah. So all you really need is a 5-year gap. You think about that. That's a true sentence. I was a better basketball in my lifetime, I was a better basketball player than

LeBron James. At what point do you think it flipped? It was young. I think like an 11-year-old LeBron. That was nice. I was going to say when he was 5. You've never seen me take a three-foot free throw. Because if you're a regular-ass guy, where do you think the break-even point is?

Like 11-year-old LeBron was probably pretty nasty, but if you were like a man. No, I think 11's being... Generous? You think younger? Yeah. You think like a nine-year-old LeBron was probably pretty nasty, but if you were like a man. No, I think 11's being. Generous? You think younger? Yeah. You think like a nine-year-old LeBron could beat like a 25-year-old regular dude?

No. Because at some point it's still just. Because LeBron at 11 was probably like 5'10", 6'0". He was probably still even bigger. That's a good point because then that's as tall as me. And then if he's good at basketball, then I have nothing have nothing on yeah yeah you know it's so it depends on like the growth spurt and how you know all that shit but when i was i saw i the high school graduation party for my high school was at my house and whoa the the big part of it was my little sister was just destroying us in basketball she is i believe six years younger than me maybe eight years younger than me isn't she like the number one in the state

she was really good but she was like she's a little girl and she was just toning everything literally the entire i went to a small school so literally the entire school came basketball team was there hockey team team, everyone was there. And it wasn't like she was beating up on hockey players. Everyone was there. She was playing the guys on the basketball team and smoking them. My friend ended up, we were like, all right, we're going to do a little tournament. And my friend was like, first pick, I'm taking Paulina.

And she was, since we were graduating high school, five, five, 17, she was either 10 or 11, and she was tuning in. Wow. And we were all athletic kids. And we were like, 10 or 11 and she was tuned wow and we're all athletic kids and we're like what an 11 year old lebron if your sister could do it i mean once he was out of like uh nick you he could be here she she could shoot man she could shoot the lights out yeah and she would like she just fucking you got an outside shot that's what's happening right now that's why but it's like you could apply it anywhere like if there's like a you

know a sixth grader that's like a black belt in karate i'm gonna kill him yeah yeah oh the whole karate thing is ridiculous too yeah they just they hand out black belts like he's over here i can't beat you no he's not he's not he's not a real black belt but he's got a black belt I had a buddy who was a black belt right and the whole tenure of our relationship

friends everyone oh he's a black belt he's a black belt you know oh don't mess with him he's a black belt it came out

years later that he got the black belt when he was like seven yeah and I was like wait I haven't been safe

this whole time I've been walking around shooting people looks like I can do whatever I want. This guy, you got it when you were set. You have no root. You didn't retain that. It's like my finance degree. I couldn't save you a dollar.

It felt like such a betrayal. I was like, you chose not to say that part. Unless you can do some Mr. Miyagi shit, I don't want to hear about your black belt. Yeah. Because they just literally hand him out like candy to keep you in the program or whatever. It makes no sense. Are you still doing taste buds?

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, man. There is nothing I get a bigger kick out of than you and DeRosa losing your fucking minds at each other. Thanks, man. There was some clip recently. Not recently. bigger kick out of than you and derosa losing your fucking minds at each other thanks man there was some clip uh it recently not recently well taste buzz is a podcast i do with joe derosa where we

argue about food it's like you know what's better than this flavor doritos or that flavor doritos and they go at each other like it's like a presidential debate but then this clip was within the last like year or so then they just like flipped it and became like totally friendly you know and the clip was you being like the only thing more insane to our viewers than how we were screaming yeah is how we're now just being like totally 100 that wasn't that long ago and that and like that that's something that i don't think people understand that like you can you have the certain people in life you could unload on and be like you want to get a burger yeah yeah but it was you know because people in life you could unload on and they'd be like, you want to go get a burger?

Yeah, yeah. Because people in the comments, I remember that, because people in the comments were like, they were picking sides like it was a divorce or something. And I'm like, guys, we are the closest. Why are you getting that? We were arguing garlic bread versus, it was garlic bread versus something else. Probably like dinner rolls or something.

Something else, yeah. But the argument becomes that one thing and another thing. And then we got to a place where we were arguing personally about the way we were arguing. That whole thing. It's a spicer. But that becomes more about you as a person than the food we're talking about. Yeah, but we stay in passion. If I'm screaming at him about the garlic, even if I call him a mother, it's about the garlic bread.

But then I start being like, you always do that. And then they were like, it's like watching my parents. Can you pull up the clip of Frankie and Fat Pat? The, you know this clip? No. Oh, this is my. Yeah. Frankie R. Frankie?

Google, just do a Twitter search for me. This is my favorite clip I've seen on the internet in a long time. Okay. And it's them talking food. Go to my Twitter. It's probably... You'll have to scroll a little bit, but it's probably... You get a couple impassioned food guys talking about food.

Everybody has an opinion on food, no matter what it is. Yeah, yeah. Because you like it or you don't, and there's reasons for both. No matter what I say, no matter what food I say, someone will have an opinion on food, no matter what it is. Because you like it or you don't, and there's reasons for both. No matter what I say, no matter what food I say, someone will have an opinion on it. That's why we were like, this would be engaging. Right there. Talk more about cinnamon rolls.

What you said about cinnamon rolls really rang home true to me. You're talking between a donut and a cake, you're living in this little land that I want to buy acreage out there. It's a really good spot. And I think they have the market of that land cornered. What else is in there? Like a honey bun? Is that where a honey bun is, too? I think cinnamon rolls got up in the top.

What's he talking about? Cinnamon rolls. That's cinnamon rolls. It's pretty close. I feel like the coffee roll tries to sneak in there. It shapes similar. But coffee rolls, in my opinion, yeah, coffee rolls clearly more donut. And it's right on the edges of donut land.

I agree. It lives on the outskirts of town towards Cinnamon Rollville. I agree. There's nothing quite. Cinnamon Roll's got its own area. What's the cake version? What's the closest cake to Cinnamon Roll? Like a coffee cake?

That's exactly what it is. He should come on up on it. Yeah, for real. But that is the answer. It's coffee cake? That's exactly what it is. He should come on our podcast. Yeah, for real. But that is the answer. It's coffee cake. This is what I have going through my head when I try to sleep at night. But why are they being filmed in a way that's like, is this not candid? When Frankie chimes in is my favorite.

But that is the answer. It's coffee cake. You ever have angel food cake? They're like, get out of here, you little skinny bitch. I don't deserve to be in this company. That's on me. Two big guys are talking cake. You know your role.

You guys ever have a donut? But that kind of insightful focus on the minutia of it. It's taking a not serious topic and treating it very seriously. It's what I love. It's what I do with everything anyway. But it's like, I feel like I would have loved

to be in that conversation. Yeah, yeah. The way that he even had to finesse the way they spoke about it, which I greatly admire. It's a good decor. Because that's how I speak to that. Who are all those dudes?

Are they comedians? No, Trent works here. Trent and Frankie, the guy at the Angel's Book Cake. They work here. They have a show called Foreplay. And then, what's his name? Fat Perez is another golf group on YouTube. Okay.

So, yeah, these guys live the life. They just golf and put it up on YouTube. Man, I wish I can golf. Yeah, me too. I've taken pride in my life. I don't golf. I don't know. Oh, I don't care.

But I'm just saying I would like to do that. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I would have liked to live that life. No, but imagine if you are good at golf, it's great.

I say this all the time, though. Even if I was great at it, the guys who golf, when they're like, we played 54 holes yesterday and we're going back out tomorrow. I'm like, I don't like anything enough other than watching TV and eating donuts. Those guys are running from something. You got to have some problem.

When you're doing 36 to 54 holes, you don't want to go back to the house. As we wrap up here, we got to... First, I got to thank you. Oh my God, that went so fast. I know, I know. Crazy. I got to go back to the house. As we wrap up here, we got to... First, I got to thank you. Oh, my God. That went so fast. I know. I know. Crazy. I got to thank you for...

Oh, yeah. We're really going. Every six months, our last time you were here, we talked about the Jaden Smith tattoo. Sure. And every six months, we post it back up, and it just gets millions of views. Oh, really? People just fucking love it. Did you get another new one recently?

I feel like I saw you post it recently. Oh, no, no. I only have two. I only have two. I thought there was a post within this year being like, he's 25 now, and so I'm due to do another tattoo. I probably posted that as a joke. I wasn't sure how committed you were to the thing.

I really hope I don't get any more. Well, that was what I was going to say. I'm also... There's bits, and there's committing to a bit, and then there's just, you're being reckless. You got another one. I mean, I'm also, out of every human that's ever lived, the only person to have two Jaden Smith tattoos

on their thighs that are photorealistic. Truly, you have one, you have the only body to ever walk this earth that has that. That's a weird thing. Which I also hear. I hope some impractical jokers fan goes and gets tattooed i know someone has this one really because we did a live special

episode the 200th episode and they they got it live tattooed during oh wow yeah so they have this one so you're with twinsies on that one yeah but it's also i would i would put an asterisk on that yeah i naturally have it right i had a buddy who recently, I forget who told me this, but they were at a birthday party and they rented out a portion of the restaurant and Jaden Smith had rented out a separate portion and then he heard that there was a birthday party over there. Do you know this story too? No, I've heard it from you. Okay.

He was like super nice, right? And he like came over and like spent the whole night with the whole birthday party. Ended up going to the bar afterwards. He's the greatest guy of all time. Yeah, he was really good. I would not have expected that. The pictures you have with him and all that. Yeah, talking to him, he was a really nice, respectable, soft-spoken kid.

I feel like he's almost so famous you come out the other side. If you're famous, you grow up famous, Nepo baby, you're kind of an asshole. But it's like I grew up like beyond Nepo. I'm a Smith, you know what I mean? Yeah, I mean, from my limited interaction with him, I was impressed. You know, for a young kid, he had a good character. And he would even text me at that, like, how are you doing?

Really? Yeah. It was like, oh, this is awesome. You know what I mean? Yeah. Well, it's one of the best bits ever so maybe you should maybe think about another one i'm just saying it would be genuinely one is funny two is like holy shit he did it again three is like oh my god three is yeah and also you really got to solidify yourself as the one and only because maybe someone maybe that guy goes and gets a second that too and now you're

not the only one right but you're the only. I love that you called me the craziest person on the planet for buying a tag machine, a tag gun, for $8. But then you're like, what I really think you should do, though, is get another one. That would be so cool. It's like, wait, what? I love it.

All right, so the special's out on May 31st. Terrified. Terrified on YouTube. When does this come out? Yeah, I was going to say, actually, this will probably be... We can do this Tuesday. Yeah, so it'll be... We'll do it Tuesday. We'll wait until that's out.

So we'll do this Tuesday. Okay, so the special's out. Yeah, so the special's out now. Go to YouTube, 800-pound gorilla. The special's Terrified. Yes, sir. And the tour is on sale now at what? SalVolcanoComedy.com.

The Everything's Fine Tour. Right now we have 28 cities up. That's just the first leg. Crazy. And yeah, so please, I'd love to see you. It'll be a full new hour.

It won't be anything from the, obviously, I have to tell people that aren't really doing no comedy. Sure. It will be nothing that you see in the special.

It's all new. So yeah. And also, didn't you recently sign like a new production deal with TBS or Turner or something? That was about three years ago. Oh,

I thought that was recently. So yeah, well, congrats on that. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah. And I'm also touring with. Yeah, so congrats on that tour. Thank you, thank you, yeah. And I'm also touring with the Jokers until August. My tour starts September,

but it's the last leg of this tour we've been doing for like a year and a half, the Drive Drive tour. So it's like maybe another 15 dates out there. Also at Savile County Comedy, the last time to see it. And then you got Hey Babe with Chrissy, you got Taste Buds with DeRosa. You're one of the hardest working guys out there.

Thanks. I try. It's driving me into the ground working guys out there. Thanks. I try. It drives me into the ground. I'm sure. Well, come back next time. We'll chop it up for a longer time. I have such a blast with you guys. Thanks, man.

Thank you so much, Sal. Appreciate you. Come on. Thank you. សូវាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប� Thank you. សូវាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប� Bye.