KFC Radio - Sal Vulcano || Feits Vows to Wax His Bu**hole... Book It

Episode Date: June 16, 2022

- The internet likes KFC's legs - Feits works out way more than he admits to - Feits got a new tattoo that sent him into a severe state of anxiety - Barstool Kate gets waxed and Feits vows to do the same to his bu**hole - Keegan may be a psychopath - Pavs may also be a psychopath - AITA - Video Voicemails - surviving inside grocery store - dreams you think are real - losing Cancun 2003 girl to Crocs founder +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Timecodes: 0:00 - The internet likes KFC's Legs 8:34 - Feits' New Tatoo 11:51 - Kate Gets Waxed 22:11 - Keegan (and also Pavs) may be a psychopath 33:58 - AITA 53:03 - Video Voicemails 1:14:43 - Sal Vulcano Interview +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Roman: Go to https://barstool.link/ROMANkfc to get your first month of Swipes for just $5 when you choose a monthly plan. Curve: Go to https://barstool.link/CurveBSS to enter their waitlist. eBay: EBay Sneakers – Authenticity Guaranteed SiriusXM App: Subscribe now and get your first 3 months for free of the SiriusXM App, visit https://barstool.link/SXMKFC to sign up. Offer Details applyYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Are we live right now? You can take that back if you want. I'm out. It's another edition of KFC Radio on the Barstool Sports Network. This time coming to you from the little lounge section out here at Barstool Chicago. Still on Chicago HQ

finishing the podcast for the week. We got our live show coming up on Saturday night. Still a handful of tickets available for the last push. You can get tickets. Go to our social media and you'll see the link tree with all of our tickets available for Chicago on Saturday night.

And also, our DC show is already on sale. That's for later in the summer, later in the fall, rather, September. We also have a meet and greet in Chicago where we have decided to open it up for free. Sales was trying to sell this meet and greet in addition to our tickets. We didn't really know that was happening. It became this whole... I don't know how that happened. We had our sales meeting canceled this week, but I was going into that hot if we kept it.

So that's now been opened up for free. So you can just come and hang out at the Barstool Bar in Chicago. It's on River North. And if you did pay already, you get a refund. Don't worry. So it's just a happy hour. So now you can come to our Barstool Bar, hang out for a happy hour, 530 to 730, Barstool River North. And if you did pay already, you get a refund. Don't worry. So it's just a happy hour. So now you can come to our Barstool bar, hang out for happy hour, 530

to 730 Barstool River North. Come kick it with us. I think we're there's in the talks too. If you come to the happy hour you get to sign up for a possibility to have seat upgrades at the show. Hey, there you go. Put your name in and you could get bumped up to some of that front

row shit. Come see my Come see our beautiful faces I don't know how that works Hey the internet Likes my legs Yeah Yeah I was

I was happy about that I don't think I've ever Had the internet like Something about me physically Why do they like your legs You got this nice leg Yeah A picture of me

For our Fourth of July Oh I noticed that When you're coming out Of the fucking subway Yeah I noticed Yeah I saw a coming out of the fucking subway. Yeah. I noticed. Yes.

I saw a lot of people there. So I hate doing modeling shoots for merch. I really, really hate it. Usually because I'm ugly and the internet makes fun of me. But this, yeah, I was walking up the steps of the subway and I see a tweet that says like KFC looking yoked with making the rest of us dads look bad. And I was like, wait, what? And I was like, this is a joke.

Like I'm going to open it up and look like ugly. And like, and then another one came in and said like, KFC looks, looks good in shorts. And I find that very unsettling. I got another one that said KFC has nice legs and that like fucks me up. Like people are like, their minds are blown. But I, um, I looked at it i was like oh damn yeah you got like a quad pop it yeah i got a quad and and then the uh the calves look all right i was like wow see if i use my body like my legs i use them you know like i don't

work out but i you know i when i was younger i was shape, and then I just kept using my legs. The rest, I just... If you don't use it, you lose it. I'm really... I'm cooked, dude. I'm so done. I always used Jerry Ferrara as my North Star because Jerry, we know, was turtle, and he was pretty fat, and now he's in great shape. And when we first met, I was like early 30s maybe and he was 37 and he was like um i was you know i was like you look great you don't have to worry about that blah blah

and he was like how old are you i was like i'm 30 he's like you're good you've got time like i'm 37 it's like now or never for me because you get you know once you get too old you're in 40 it's like you're fucked yeah well once you once you're once you're really gone you're not gone yet once you're really gone you're gone but like he he was using 37 as like the so it's like shut up and put up time yeah but i think i'm ready i think that my whole life you know when you uh if you're gonna go on a diet or make a big life change or stop drinking or whatever it is you know to use a seinfeld quote it's like knocking over a a coke machine yeah you gotta try it okay i failed i did it for a week and then i gave up i did it for a day and then i quit

and then you're finally just like ready to do it so i've like said i was gonna stop you know eating like shit for years and years and years now i said i was gonna stop doing all this shit and now i think i'm actually like well i think i can do this now. Yeah? Move's happening? I'm excited. Because you know what? I have to move now. And like, I always had this thing in my head about get to the end of the Barstool money. Get to the Barstool money.

And then we can do, you know, you'll get out of that apartment. You'll get rid of that car. You'll get this house. You'll, and then, you know, I was like, I'll have enough money. I love that. Let's just be miserable for like six more years. was a long time it was a long time but in the grand scheme of things is really not you know so i mean honestly six years in the grand scheme of things it's still it's like a tenth of my life yeah you're right um you know what fucked me up good is i think i'm you know this is halfway for me i think i'll die in mid-70s did someone tweet me

so i'm think i'm on the downside i think think I'm losing, you know, life is ending now. Someone tweeted me yesterday, you're dead by 40, book it. Oh, that is so mean. There was no joke. There was no nothing.

That is, see, that's, you're dead by 40, book it. That's usually what I get on the internet. That's why I couldn't believe

the same nice things about my legs. That is so mean. Dead by 40, book it. I'm not supposed to say that to people when I'm trying to be really,

really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, I wasn't even offended. It made sense 40, book it. I'm not saying that to people when I'm trying to be really, really defensive. I wasn't even offended. It made sense. I get it. It's not... No, but people don't understand, and maybe they're going to start because they should see it on social media. You work out all the time.

You exercise a lot. You're in good shape. I get really tired if I don't exercise. Right. But whatever your motivation is, it makes no sense to me because if I were to go exercise, I just said, we're going to the game tonight, Wrigley, to see the Cubs. And I was like, I'm so tired. And meaning like, you know, I want to go to the game, but this would be a great night to just fucking knock out.

And John goes, yeah, I wish I could go work out. I'm like, what? If I went to the gym right now, I'd be even, you know. Nah, you wouldn't. You think that. You wouldn't be, though. That is true. You'd have more energy.

I do also, I am ready to buy into exercising you know the endorphins it's like drugs it's like you're gonna get high and it's like i was always like yeah right but like i'm ready to my body is ready the the honestly the i i the only thing that gives me a fighting chance is exercising like when you talk about the endorphins and stuff like that. I mean like mentally. The only thing that gives me a shot of being okay is if I exercise. Yeah. I mean I do feel better about myself like in the very rare times and very long ago when I did do it.

So maybe I'm ready. Book it should be like you're, ah, fuck it, let's do it. Like going forward. Just whenever you want to do like something dumb. Book it. Should we do it? Yeah, book it. When you're ready to. something dumb. Book it. Should we do it? Yeah, book it. When you're ready to, when you inevitably kill yourself.

But actually, you know what? That kind of ties into one of the topics I wanted to have today, where I was saying the only thing that gives me a shot, the only thing that makes me feel a little okay is when I exercise. And not right afterwards, but just when I'm regularly exercising,

I'm like, I'm okay. I'm a little, I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm a little like, I'm okay. That's where you got to get Roman products to really make you feel like you're the best man you can be. Because they've got everything from hair to help your hair grow, to help your dick grow. They've got medicines for any sort of ailments and testosterone and all that sort of shit you need to feel and be the best man you can be. Particularly, they can help you solve the problem of premature ejaculation. That's what the point was.

My friend White Sox Dave suffers from greatly. He is notorious for coming so quick. That's his nickname here in Chicago, the guy who comes quick. And even he can benefit from the Roman swipes. You can get... Why? Because I just keep one of them, right?

He's got it, right? Yeah, he's ready at any time. Bro, you stay strapped? Look at that! He keeps that thing on him. Because at any moment... It's probably just concealed. It's probably concealed in your wallet,

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and feel the best you can. Fuck like Dave. We've got to specify. White Sox Dave. So yeah, I got a new tattoo. I got it. I didn't notice this. Where is this? I got it two weeks ago. The cloud. Yes. Oh, in the

clouds? Yes. Yeah, it's perfect. You can't bring up my new tattoo. Hey, you like this? You're right. So, it's perfect. And it was, you can't bring up my new tattoo, like, hey, you like this? You're right. So I've been waiting for you, waiting for you specifically, Sorry, fuck! to say something,

because it's so unobservant. Not because I want to, it's a funny thing happened with it. But I got it, it's in the clouds, I feel like when you're, Is it the cloud from the single cover? It looks exactly like that.

Yeah, and I feel like when you're in probably the only music video you'll ever be in, you get a little tattoo for a remembrance of it. And also, it's a happy song, so I think it had a nice little juxtaposition. Right next to Sad Boy. Right next to Sad Boy. Because we're trying to be happier, folks. We're working on it.

But when I got it, it produced one of my most anxiety-ridden days of all time. Oh, my God. It had the exact opposite effect from what I hoped it would be immediately in that I got it, and I took a little video, and I sent it to Mark Roberge. I had a little video,

and I started there, and I kind of panned up to be going, my head is always in the clouds so high I'm not coming down and I said if you ever need

someone to film it for you clearly I have a great voice let me know and I sent that video to Mark probably about 10, 11 a.m. on a Sunday

thinking he'd be like dude that's fucking sick that's so cool no response no response crickets. Until 9 p.m. Oh.

I was, dude, all day. I was like, oh, my God. Oh, my God. Yeah, but we know he's an old guy. I was like, he fucking hates it. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. No.

I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I'm a stupid person. He fucking hates it. He thinks I'm a loser. This is so fucking dumb. I was like, I like, I'm going to start looking up like places to get tattoos removed. This is so, I was like, I can't believe, I was like, I was like removed this is so i was like i can't believe i was like i was like what were you thinking you didn't even ask him first you didn't even ask him you get a fucking tattoo like you're

crazy john you're a fucking moron you are for a different reason and then at 9 p.m he's like holy shit dude that's so fucking sick and i was like his phone was probably dead i was like oh my god yeah thank god you said that because i was funny i was like i was fucking like this bro and noose in hand like just right just rattle the chair and i'm gone dude mark had fucking 10 minutes to get back to me this was a solo show funny man i know like what the feeling you're describing but mark we know uses the extra large text font we know that he like doesn't know how to do instagram he probably like doesn't even take his phone with him for hours and there's no way in the world he loves you he loves like like you being a part of that of course he thinks it's awesome. That's a good one. That is a worthy tattoo reason to go get it for sure. And it was, we're actually, I think we're going to get, he was like, let's get one together.

Let's get one together. Yeah. So I think we're going to get another tattoo together. But the, yeah, I was. Panic. Speaking of panic stricken. Speaking of anxiety ridden videos, did you watch Kate go get waxed? I did not.

I helped push it there. I was getting texts from the ZBT crew last night being like, can you help? We're almost at 10.8, whatever. Because that's why I quote-tweeted it at one point. I'd already retweeted it and quote-tweeted it, I think. So this is my third time doing it. And I was like, this is going to come off pretty perverted.

I want this guy to get waxed. time doing it and i was like this is gonna come off pretty perverted but for the third time i request that you fucking follow so kate can film her getting her pussy wet bro i actually didn't realize why this was all happening so i saw it before i saw any of that and i was like damn kate just decided to put this out there for the world that's pretty cool because it is uh it was it was she said she replied to my tweet last night being like, I did not think we were going to get there. Yeah. Clearly we're going to get there.

Yeah, definitely. I think they went to like 11,000 and kept going. It was over 1,000 in a day. Yeah, yeah. So Kate went into the spa salon and filmed the whole process of her getting her mustache waxed and her bikini waxed and went IG live with it.

And it was like watching a snuff film. Really? I mean, she's in agony mentally and physically. I wanted to be like, just don't, just stop. It's okay. Unsubscribe if you want, but just don't let this girl do this. She said, I think someone counted, and I think it's true. She said, I'm sorry 35 times. She just kept going, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. It's not me, it's you counted and i and i think it's true she said i'm sorry 35

times she just kept going i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry it's not me it's you it's not you it's me i'm sorry i'm sorry just ignore me just ignore me just ignore me because she would but i mean the look in her face of just horror and terror and then on it's it's truly like uh i i actually filmed uh like just a 30-second clip of it. It's 18 minutes. It's a long fucking video. Oh, that's what I thought it would be. That's a full wax job, 18 minutes?

Well, the video, I think, was like 18 minutes, but I don't know when she... So this was her like... I'm sorry. I'm so... I'm sorry. Oh, my God. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry. Just ignore me. Well, my God. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Just ignore me. Hold on. Have the clip. Sorry. Still? Keep my leg like that? Okay.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Somebody say something fun to me. Somebody say something fun to me. Oh, my God. Say something. Say something.

Somebody say something. Somebody say something. Okay. No, I'm not going to touch up my grays, Darren. Fuck you, Darren. Oh, boy. Okay. The end here is true Steve Carell, though.

Okay, it's not you. She's doing an awesome job. It's me. I have the lowest pain tolerance of anyone of all time. Oh, boy. That one. Oh, sorry. That's me.

I'm sweating. She's the best. All Dude, she's the best. All time. She's the best. When she was trying to say, somebody say something funny to me. And she was like, somebody say something funny to me. I mean, it was like her brain was truly just all mashed up. And I was like, this girl went to war.

And if you asked her right now what she would rather do again, I think she'd go back to FAMC. I swear to God, I think she would. And I really do have to give it, give, well, on the one hand, I have to give girls credit for the extent to what they will go through to be, you know, sexy, smooth, and whether they're doing it for girls or for guys or themselves to go through that is pretty crazy. But secondly, fuck everybody at home. All of you guys. Fuck you guys.

Because all of this was in the name of just getting subscribers on YouTube. So everything else with Barstool, we say, hey, follow this Twitter account. Boom. 250,000 followers overnight. Follow this Instagram account. Half a million. Follow this twitter account boom 250 000 followers overnight follow this instagram account half a million follow this tiktok account millions upon millions follow this youtube account no not until you ravage your vagina and then you can earn a click from me it's like just please click the button and they won't do it until you have to film yourself

on the verge of dying from pain from your pussy getting ripped apart just click the fucking buttons over there god damn it i will uh i'll piggyback on kate i don't know what number it is someone think of the number i'll do i'll do a b-hole wax i'll do a live b-hole wax are we live right now you can't you can't You can take that back if you want. I'll do it live. It doesn't hurt, says Jackie. Your asshole doesn't hurt. He's like, no, there's not a major thing.

It's not hurting that much. It's like a normal. Maybe your asshole's dead, Jackie. I guess, I mean, I can understand, like, your fucking pussy lips being worse than your asshole. Yeah, I do get that yeah so John is just

looking for an excuse to get his asshole waxed like Rudy with the frosted tips no I guess I'll get that nice and clean I actually

I've been planning on doing it for a long time strictly for this story like I want to tell I want to tell the story will you get on your hands and knees to do it no I think you

I've you go legs up, Jackie? You go back, right? Yeah. You go back. Yeah, no, I'll go back. I'll go back. Is there any...

I'll bring these knees to your ears. I think it would be really funny if you were like face down ass up. I take my shirt off first. Do you remember when we had Bobby Kelly on the show? And he was talking about getting your ass eaten or something like that. And he was like, taste it. Taste it. It's embedded in my mind.

It fucks with me. It wants me. I'm going to find this clip just so you're haunted. I think that's got to be weird. You got your dick... Yeah. You got, like, your dick in the...

I'm like, don't worry about the varicose vein. But also, unless you're... I gotta hold my sack up, right? Unless you're all the way back

and gravity is pulling your dick and balls back, you gotta lift your sack. Yeah, I'll definitely lift my sack, for sure. Fucking... All right, well, go check it out for me.

You know, you give me the guinea pig. I love it Yeah Now I feel like Like that's something I've honestly been thinking about

Have you ever shaved your ass? No No I don't I don't have much You just pour with sweat afterwards It's very weird What?

Yeah Very sweaty after it's disgusting I don't know what that's about We're at 135 right now so Oh 135,000 subscribers? Yeah What do you want your thing to be? 140 sweaty after it's disgusting. I don't know what that's about. We're at 135 right now, so. Oh, 135,000 subscribers? Yeah. What do you want your thing to be? 140.

140. We're going to start losing subscribers. I was like, 150? Oh, no. Back down to 130 at the end of this. No, nobody wants to see this. I honestly started thinking about doing it when I, this was a short-lived thing, but when I was doing that thing where like,

Friday's off and I would try and do something new and unique on Friday so I could write about it. This was one of the first things I thought of because it's true, torture to this, I will be so uncomfortable. I actually have a very high pain tolerance. It sounds like it doesn't hurt at all anyway, but I have quite a high pain

tolerance, so I was not ever concerned with that. I was concerned with my awkward tolerance that is super low that's i think oddly enough the girl even said she's like i've seen it all like you you will actually probably be like a pleasant surprise i bet you when those girls see a man on the actually probably not because there's a lot of like pretty gay guys yeah but you'll be like uh i thought you were gonna be disgusting right right and and you know hate to be mean but like there's probably plenty of bigger and grosser women that come through where when like a young hot girl comes in they're probably like yes i just want to call kate real quick and tell her that you're you have um you're picking up the torch to get a wax. You volunteered to film it?

The horror that was in her face, I feel like she'll appreciate someone else. She's obviously not picking it up. But you know what? That's part of us being a number one feminist podcast. I got my girls back. And that also counts as the troops. Yeah. Two for one special whenever you do something for Kate.

There she is. Kate. What's up, girl? What's up, dude? We are doing KFC Radio. We just talked about your video from today. And we are... John said,

like, in your honor, he's going to go get his asshole waxed if we get to a milestone on our YouTube subscribers. I'm piggybacking off you. Yeah, piggyback. I'm piggybacking off you. I don't take this the wrong way,

but the way that you eat, I feel like your asshole is like a grizzled veteran. Your asshole is like smoking a cigarette. I'm like, what, this little thing? I didn't know how to say it when we were talking about it because I didn't want it to become a homophobic joke. But I was going to say, my asshole's taking a beating. I eat meatball lollipops at 9 in the morning. There's no hair left down there anyway.

All the trees are dead. Dude, I eat dive bar oysters. That thing is disgusting. I do have a skin tag I've been meaning to get looked at anyway. Jesus Christ, you're disgusting I will say we did a Chaps and Kate show once where we asked waxers to call in and they said guys do get it done

and their biggest thing they would come in with like dingleberries and stuff I mean that's just rude you gotta give it a once over before someone goes in there that's insane rude. That's insane. You know, you got to give it a once over before someone goes in there. Come on. That's insane, dude. Be polite.

Make sure. Yeah, make sure you clean it up. I'll shower up first. Yeah. Well, thank you for basically filming a snuff film for us because it was very entertaining. Sure thing. I'm feeling it. My son, when I got home, he came up and he like just.

Yeah. There he is. What's up, Cash? What's up, Cash? What's up, Cash? Cash money. Buddy, not today. All right. All right, get back to the little one.

Bye-bye. That is so funny. A grizzled veteran. Thought of your asshole smoking a cigarette. It's very funny. Okay, we got a couple other things to talk about. One of my kids is dumb and the other kid is uh a psychopath yeah so i've got some parenting to do i'll be honest up until this point it's been smooth so i was gonna say it's been very easy like time time to clock in yes yeah it's time to do

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flavored drink mix and it gets you that high, gives you the body high, gives you the funny feeling, can help with your chronic pain, your chronic restlessness or anxiety, and helps you get through the stressful parts of your life. Go to 3chi.com, use promo code STOOL5 and get 5% off your order, plus a free sticker. You must be 21 or older. That's 3, the number 3, chi.com, promo code STOOL5. Shay absolutely bombed her standardized testing, which I think I mentioned on one of the shows.

She was in the 47th percentile. Bombed. So she's a dummy. Yeah. She's a big fat dummy. She's not good at tests. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's not good under pressure.

She's a bad test taker. I'm a bad test taker. One of the all-time. The best. The all-time. I'm a bad test taker. No, you're dumb. You know that thing we use to measure

intelligence i'm bad at it i'm bad at it but it's nothing to do with my intelligence that's like one time i was in a a job interview and it was for a trading position and they said to me what's 36 times 47 and to see if i could do quick mental math. Right? And, you know, the way you're supposed to do it is like, what's 30 times 40? That's easier to do, right? 120. And then you do 6 times 7, that's 42.

And you can add it all together. You know, whatever. There's these little tricks to do, you know, to do little mental math, right? So, I said to them in the middle of it, I like oh hang on one second i'm just i'm just not good at mental math hang on he's like that's the thing yeah that's what we're doing

here it's like yeah we're trying to test you and you're doing bad at it you're dumb but she's actually not i was laughing about first of all she's in kindergarten so it's like i don't even she probably didn't understand what she was doing second of all she's almost like too smart for her own good so I was like joking about how she's dumb Keegan on the other hand I might I'm gonna have to FaceTime

someone else again I'm gonna have to talk to my podfather Clem on this one Keegan found a dead mouse in the basement picked it up ran up to the kitchen

and threw it on the counter to show our nanny like a cat like a cat like a cat like a cat like look what i found look what i got for you hoping you didn't kill it i'm hoping that he found it dead and didn't find it alive uh yeah there's no there's no way to tell really no proof that he didn't break its neck i need to like you know get like one of those ring cameras and see if they you know were pointed in the basement yeah it could very well have been him he might

have bit it for all i know which is a weird he's a weird kid he's usually very he likes to wash his hands and like he's a little ocd about making sure everything he's always like can you call my hair it's very funny can you put gel in it for me uh it's very cute actually does it look good um but he brought the fucking dead rat mouse up and i was like, that kid is going to be a murderer. Dude, I don't know, man. Weird dead animal stuff is literally a hallmark of a psychopath. The triumvirate of evil, I think it is. The triad.

The triad of evil. What is it? Harming animals? Yeah, it's animals. Children. I think it's bed is it harming animals yeah it's animals children but I think it's bedwetting I think it's in there bedwetting yeah

yeah yeah yeah real quick that was you know what I think that's a chicken and the egg thing I think it's like god damn it

I'm in 8th grade I'm still pissing the bed I'm gonna kill somebody you know what I mean like how does being crazy mean you piss the bed a lot I think it's more like

the bed pissing makes you crazy triad of evil I've never? I think it's more like the bed pissing makes you crazy. Triad of evil. I've never heard of this. It is a clinical thing. Yeah. Okay.

I learned about it on Criminal Minds. It's a term that refers to the analysis of the causes of pathological behavior of serial killers. It includes persistent

bedwetting past a certain age, obsession with fire setting, and the need for destruction and cruelty to animals. Yeah. So I'm hoping that this is just that he found it and was

curious. What's his bed situation? Not great. I'll be honest, it's not great. I think he's still a little young for that one. I mean, fire is not fair. Playing with fire is fun. That feels like a catch-all to try to make a lot of psychiatrists. That's a trick to get psychology. I completely disagree.

I've never played with fire. Really? Not that it's not fun. Fireworks and firecrackers and stuff? I enjoy lighting a lighter,. I've never played with fire. Really? I mean, it's not that it's not fun. Fireworks and firecrackers and stuff? I enjoy lighting a lighter, but I've never, I never had a obsession with fire. You also kill little animals.

You're just fucking making excuses. Didn't you kill little animals? No. Nick, are you lying to us? I feel like, I feel like there's a, I feel like you got a body count.

No, I like loved animals to the point that my family like, was like, you should be a vet. Really? That sounds like a guy's overcompensating for his dead animals. That to me reads like... A bird with a rock once and I felt bad and pulled it to a priest. Pussy.

I feel like psychologists made that up. up because they're like what are the three things that like kind of like you know reckless kids do i don't they pee all of them pee the bed uh oh this one likes to like play with you know matches and shit and uh i think i think it's a little more than playing with matches yeah i mean but you know what i'm saying it's it's like i feel like these are not the it's the extremes of all these things. But I bet you there are parents who are like, oh, he picked up the dead mouse. He might be crazy. We need to fucking send him to a psychologist. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know, he peed the bed. He's past like the age of three. He peed the bed. We need to, you know, that's a problem. Right. But anyway, I was like, oh, no, Keegan's going to be an absolute psychopath. But again, I'm joking because he's four to which one of my esteemed co-workers uh michael uh what's his last name pavinelli

uh said oh yeah well like one time i massacred a frog uh like outside of school, like not even in science class. Kind of this one. I was like, what? Yeah, so I went to private school and I was jealous of all the public school kids that I was friends with because they got to dissect a frog. What an odd thing to be jealous of because I went to private school

and I was like, my friend should be jealous of me that I don't have to dissect stuff. I never did a frog. I know that is like the... I never dissected a fucking... I know that is like in the to dissect stuff. I never did a frog. I know that is like the... I never dissected a fucking... I know that is like in the movies and the TV shows,

you dissect a frog. I dissected... We did owl pellets. Did you ever do those? What? Owl pellets is like... I think it's like a fur ball for owls. And they have like little bones in it.

So it's like a little fur ball almost and you kind of pick through the hair and shit and you can find these little bones of like i think like mice and shit it's disgusting and then we dissected earthworms but like monster big boy earthworms like not just like a little brown one it's like a long white one that smelled like shit but i never did like a frog like a typical frog where like their legs and arms are splayed out you know yeah um but i guess these kids were doing it pavs was jealous so he just took it upon himself yeah i just found it on my pool one day and was just like i want to pull that shit out and i brought out a like kitchen plastic knife and i just uh plastic knife how did how did you pin it down it was already dead oh okay okay so i pulled it out i'm like 10 at the time i see and 10 i

said i don't know if that's worse or better like he's 10 wait by the way this frog drowned in the pool john i don't know why he's pretty shitty being a frog you would think that like it's like what the fuck this is why you didn't mean lily pads yeah well we have frogs that just chill on uh like the ladder to get out of the pool yeah they i think they're not supposed to be in like the whole time they they probably drown they. Yeah, I think they're not supposed to be in it the whole time. They probably drown. Oh, I guess because they're... Not ambidextrous, but they're both, right?

Ambiguous, yeah. Probably pool water the poison. That's probably not good, too. But also, it's like, we can swim, but if you're stuck in water forever, you would drown. True, true, true. So he finds the frog, gets a kitchen knife, slices it up,

and you were covered in frog guts and shit, right? Yeah, and I brought out some plastic bags. He put all the parts? Put the different parts, and then my parents found out. You stashed it somewhere? I left it out. Okay. This shit's going to smell, so I left it out.

Hopefully I'll get back to it tomorrow. I'll get rid of the body. Classic mistake. You got to get rid of the body right away. Yeah, and then they found it. They're like, what the fuck is this? I mean, that is one of those things. If I found a bloody knife, Ziploc bags, and parts of an animal, I'd be like, what is going on here?

Everything that you just said about, what was it? The dark triad? Yeah, you did all that? All that. You pissed the bed? I pissed the bed until real late. How late were we talking? 12? 11? Regularly bedwetting? I just would piss the bed in my sleep.

You shouldn't have said that in front of Jackie. That one's in the hole so it's ready to go. Oh yeah? Bed pissing? All right, P-Boy. Did you piss the bed last night? You're like five years removed from pissing the bed.

Maybe he's going to shoot us up. I feel like I turned up. So here's the thing. I went to a school with like 30 people in it from kindergarten to eighth grade. Oh, you were one of those weird kids. You went to a schoolhouse? No, it was like only 30 people in my grade. Oh, one of those weird kids. You went to a schoolhouse? No, like it was

like only 30 people in my grade. Yeah, I know schools like that. Like we all went to the main public school. Yeah.

And then there was like we had one church that also kind of had a school, but it was just like small classes and they all just go with

like, so you know everybody in your class. And only like 20, 30 people your whole life. I was a fucking weirdo.

Yeah, that's a very sheltered life where it's just like you know everybody's name. That's fucking bizarre. And then, yeah, you're out here killing animals. You fucking psycho. Let's just hope you're the exception to the rule. You know what I mean? Christ almighty.

So let's get into Am I the Asshole? Am I the Asshole today is brought to you by Curve. You want to toss me that card, Zach? The Curve card is big in the UK, which is how you know did it go under that was happening the curve card is big in the uk and that's how you know it's going to take over in america i was telling the story earlier uh a girl i used to date when we were much younger her

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curve card here we go am I the asshole for organizing a quote-unquote ho-union of girls for my college? This, I think, is ingenious, and I don't think anybody can really knock this, but let's, you know, see, there's

always two sides to every story here. Hang on a second. Did the person who fucking... I'm blocked by the bitch who posted this? Fuck you, Jen. Suck my dick, Jen. Fuck off. I can read it through the text message,

but it's just bullshit. Haha, I can still see your text, your tweets, you bitch. Okay, so I know this sounds silly as hell, but I seriously got some people angry with me. I'm in a college organization that is also big on partying. I mean, I'm assuming it's a sorority. It can be fun, but also sadly it can be risky. Most of my friends and I have had bad experiences.

And kind of as a joke, I said to my friends that we should unionize, but they were 100% in on the idea. So we started a ho union. We drew up a list saying we collectively skip or leave any party that A, I feel like this is like a bill of rights, like we, the founding fathers, the founding daughters and mothers of the whole union. We collectively stand up and say we will leave or skip any party that a let in or was hosted by a person who had sexually harassed us or anyone else that we will skip any party that didn't let any girls mix their own drinks or pick out their own beers. We will skip any party that was racist homophobic fat phobic

slash otherwise bigoted about who they let in or or were respectful to at the party we will skip any party that tried to enforce a ratio of guys to girls and uh if the host had a reputation for pushing freshmen or inexperienced drinkers to drink heavily. So the six of us stuck to it. This is fucking Benjamin Franklin out here, Jackie. This is the founding fathers of being safe hoes. When we'd go to parties and shit, we'd send a group message and all of us would just leave or go to another party or someone else's apartment.

I can't read the rest of it where, does she talk about how she got you know people got mad at her so go to like the second page it's long it's four pages i i can do it i'm not blocked um fuck you jen what the fuck is that how do you fucking fight follow finalberg but not me we're both the same level of scumbag and we also told other girls about the party about why we're leaving and where we're going follow Feidelberg, but not me. We're both the same level of scumbag. And we also told other girls about the party, about why we were leaving and where we were going, and often had a lot more girls leave with us. The group chat grew from seven of us to 36.

Pretty much every girl in our social sphere was in it or knew of it. With all the sharing info, we ended up going to parties that were much more chill. It wasn't strict or anything, like if someone in the group said we were leaving, it didn't mean anyone was forced to go. But most everyone would leave anyway because when practically every other girl leaves, you leave.

But as quick as the chat grew, word that I'd organized it grew too. First, it was a couple of guys from Frats pissed at their houses were no-goes for us. I told them I don't make the decision. It's not a centralized thing. But then the school administration got involved. I was called to talk to a guidance counselor,

and she said that someone had reported that I was leading a group that ostracized people. She said that there is a list of... Dude, that's a wild thing. So the guys turned in? We're not going to a party where people have been raped. You're ostracizing people. I mean, give me a fucking break. She said that there was a list of people who, if they came to an event,

I'd organize it so every woman left. I said that there's not any list, just a group chat where people have occasionally said that someone harassed them or a party didn't seem safe. And then people in that group chat personally decided not to go. But I'm not like coordinating things. It's just the same as when one girl in a friend group said, that guy or that frat isn't cool to drink around. And the rest of the group naturally isn't going to want to party with them anymore.

She said it wasn't a friend group. She was aware we'd called a ho union and had rules. I said it was literally made up of friends and there aren't any rules that enforce it. It's all voluntary. I then got frustrated and asked why she thought it was appropriate to involve herself in a private conversation that happened outside of school and campus and left.

Am I the asshole for making that group chat? Huh? Okay. school and campus and left am i the asshole for making that group chat huh okay i think as told this is fine like you're not the asshole i do wonder though just much like the me too movement where it was like the real stories are should be you know respected and and uh you know are are legitimate and all that but some people took that shit you know to the extreme and used it to uh you know johnny depp and amber heard and used it to you know target guys or whatever like i could see some scenario where if there was a frat or a group of guys that were being painted as like assault or rapists or something. It was like a bunch of girls. You know, nothing really happened, but the girl said, fuck it, we're leaving.

And 36 girls get up and say it's not safe to party here, all because like one girl got mad at one guy or something like that. I could see if it spiraled out of control to the point where it was like other people were being painted as a fucking rapist over this. I could be like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Yeah, but that's... The basic rules of what we're saying here. I mean, this sounds weird,

but that's also almost part of being in a frat. You're a frat boy, you're called a rapist. You're signing up for that. Literally, you are. It's like being a Philly sports fan. You're a scumbag. And even if you're not, you are. It's like being a Philly sports fan. You're a scumbag. Even if you're not, you are. It's the running joke.

It's one of those things that's the running joke for a reason. A lot of frat guys have assaulted women. When I was in a frat, I would tell people in a frat, they'd be like, oh, so you date rape girls? Yeah. No, I don't, but I get why you're saying that. I understand. People have done it.

You're right. They're fucked up. I wouldn't be like, how fucking dare you do that? Sure, sure. Yeah, I would imagine this is probably, like, the lead, what do they call it, the charter or whatever of a frat who, you know, is like, you're giving our frat a bad name. I'm going to complain to the fucking. Oh, dude, the person who complained about this is the biggest fucking loser alive.

Yeah. But also, like, even this, it almost feels like you think you did something a lot bigger than you did. Yeah. Like, you, as a group, decided you're not going to go to shitty parties? Congratulations. Yeah. Like, you should have been doing that.

And also, like, I think she, in the reading, she seems to understand it was fun. I do understand the need for a union for that, though. Because you're oversimplifying it in the sense of like if one girl is uncomfortable and she's like I want to leave but all my friends are going to stay there's no other parties to go to so it's either have

no social life or be uncomfortable and in this case they're like we'll all leave with you I think there is actually like a need to yeah but also you just talk for like yeah they still the worst parties okay let's not go there yeah yeah right it's it does it does seem like it wasn't started like it started yeah it started like a little fun thing and that's that's but then it becomes like wait a minute this is actually pretty useful right right right you know but like i mean there

are plenty like when i when you're going to parties in college like you want to go to so-and-so's house like nah dude he's fucking weird with girls yeah i'm not like i that's that that place sucks that's what you should say about you i've yeah it wasn't a frat talk what they said about me all right second one here this one is fucked this is not even really an am i the asshole this comes from the reddit chips but it's like what is even the? You should just be done and move on. Me, male 24, girlfriend, female 22, girlfriend of four years, released my dog while I was on a one-week business trip in Europe. On the fifth day of my business trip. Released? On the fifth day of my business trip, my girlfriend called me saying someone opened the yard gate and my dog ran away.

I was devastated as I had had the dog for five years since he was a puppy i was so in shock and upset and i've had more than one person ask me if i was so i've had more than one person asked me if something was up because they couldn't stop thinking about my dog and looking depressed i asked my girlfriend to put up lost dog signs with his picture and a $3,000 reward. When I came back, my dog was still gone and I was thinking he was dead the whole time. Two days after I came back, I get a call saying they found my dog and I was very excited and my girlfriend said she was happy too, but I knew something was up when the vet that called me was 50 miles away. I drove up with my girlfriend and the vet said some old lady and her son found my dog

on a trail and brought it to the vet on the ride back i was very suspicious of my girlfriend and accused her of releasing my dog and she kept saying that she didn't and that some people probably stole her and stole it and released it she eventually starts crying and admits to driving up and releasing my dog i'm angry at her and tell her what she did was cruel and i said i'm probably gonna break up with her uh because she she could have gotten my dog killed especially because it's a shiba inu and looks like a coyote she then accuses me of giving the dog too much attention and not her but i tell her that if it was such a problem uh she was free to leave without releasing my dog i dropped her off and drove straight to a hotel that allows dogs with my dog and stopped responding to my girlfriend,

even though she keeps blowing up my phone and is trying to call me. I'm too much in shock right now to make any rational decisions at this point for someone I loved for four years and betrayed me so terribly. First off, I agree. Releasing is a strange term that they used about 55 times. Yeah, yeah. And I guess it means that she didn't just open the gate and let it run out. She brought it somewhere and abandoned the word. Abandoned, yeah.

Abandoned. I'll say this. Until it got to the trail situation, I might have been on her side. Not on her side. Not on her side. But if you have a dog for five years and that dog wants to run away, you might not be the best owner. That is a true story.

If you have a dog for five years and the dog sees it opening, he's not be the best owner that is a true story if you've had a dog for five years and the dog is like sees it opening i'm gonna get the fuck out of here yeah like maybe that dog deserved to get the fuck out of there maybe maybe good for that dog for fucking getting what's right and what's deserved to him that's why dogs that run away i'm okay with the dog dude you go make your own decisions bro duncan used to uh talking used to run. And I remember being like, yeah, this is not great.

I feel you, dog. Can I come too? Where are you hiding? I feel like once you've had a dog for like I don't know I'm not going to put a year on it But for a period of time You should be able to walk them without a leash No that's not true

Not in like fucking cities and things like that But like Let's go for a walk dude They might run off for a second and then they come back They like you because you're a good owner Duncan is nine now And it took until he was like seven for us to like if he runs away now he comes right back like not like he's just a goofy dog and like we'll just be like follow butterfly to the end of the fucking earth yeah yeah um but i mean let me say loud and clear. A girl who's like, you give the dog more attention than me,

I'm basically going to kill it? The killing it is... You're not the one murdering it, but for all intents and purposes, that person's never going to see their dog again. I'm removing it from your life. This is an immediate breakup. Yeah.

I might break up with her. That's my favorite part. I'm telling her I think of it. And he goes to the hotel yeah that bitch gets kicked out i'm gonna drive you up a dark trail and kick you out of the fucking car i mean that's insane but i i also do i get her i mean her obviously her actions are are unforgivable i understand her emotion where it's like because i i imagine this dude is very weird with his dog like it's he is weird in dude is very weird with his dog.

He is weird in general. He is not free and clear. I imagine he is. I'm a dog mom. You think he's fucking his dog? No, I don't think he's fucking his dog. I think he's kissing the dog a lot. I bet he sleeps in the bed with him

and does get weird amounts of attention. Yeah. I'm a dog mom. And it's like, all right. It's not that I'm not jealous of the dog. It's just you're weird with this dog. It is. There's a proper dog decorum.

Is Eddie here or you go? Okay. And you have to have a certain amount of like, you can't just treat a dog like a human baby it's the same thing about anything in general I honestly don't think you should treat human babies like babies it's fucking weird it's so weird

I don't know that shit creeps me out dude talk baby talk to a baby yeah and like I don't know I think I'm gonna make a stance right here on KFC radio I think human babies are coddled way too much. And... I think we baby babies far

too much. They're fucking adults. Their names are babies. Yeah, but that's because we gave it to them because we wanted to start babying them. Well, I do agree that it's bullshit that every other creature on earth the mom shits the kid out and by like 4 p.m the same day they're hunting their own fucking young you know like that's bullshit um but but is there is but coming here this is the reality and if you don't coddle human babies, they die.

I don't know about that. I don't know about that. How many times have living babies been found in dumpsters? All the time. Jesus Christ. How many times have dead babies been found in dumpsters? You got to tell me that baby all the time. You got to tell me that baby's been coddled? He was thrown in the dumpster, and he fucking survived.

So don't come to me with, oh, you got to hold it right. He'll hold his head up. No, he's fucking fine in a pile of trash. He'll be all right with me too. There is some truth to what you're saying. And one of the things that gave me a lot of confidence and helped with my anxiety about fatherhood was, I don't know if I've referenced this before, it's a documentary I've never seen. I read the synopsis.

Enormous grain of salt. Somebody told me about it. But there is this, there's a documentary about this neighborhood, basically, of homeless people in South America where they literally are trash people. They are just living outside in the wild and they eat trash and live like in trash because that's all they can do and all they have and like those kids are alive yeah you know and so if those kids can survive like your kid missing you know ballet getting shut out of like ballet signups is not gonna be the end of the world right you know so there is some truth to that also on the flip side

with their their fucking infants on the flip side, if you don't feed your baby, they will die. I mean, I'm not saying don't feed it. I'm saying just don't fucking... Fucking treat it like an adult. So like a baby... I don't like anything... You should be like...

I get creeped out by anything being like baby or like... I don't know, a lot of shit. That's because you were molested. That's because when you were a baby, you were sexually assaulted. That's because your teacher, your babysitter was like, Ooh, Johnny, Johnny, come here.

Let me touch your ballsack. So you're saying I should walk in and be like, Good afternoon, Keegan. How are you? Would you like a bottle of milk? No, no. What's up, bro? Hi, what up?

Hey, dude. What the fuck is going on? You want to buy some Tony Hawk, bro? I do have a handshake with Shay. That is very funny because now we kind of do it casually enough. It's just an easy like boom, boom, snap and point. And she can do it now. And she – but like in the beginning, I was like, yo, yo, let's do it.

Like it's a thing. But now like I'll walk in the room, be like, very funny. But yeah, like, so yeah, treat your, you know, treat your bro, like, treat your kid like he's a bro, man.

Treat your fucking, treat your bros, man. Moms and daughters, you could be in the whole union. You know? But yeah, this dude is obviously not the asshole.

This woman obviously has to be broken up with because, but he also, he's a fucking pervert. But boy, this bitch is tough. I mean, this should be part of the triad of e-mails. Yes, yeah.

I mean, yo, to open a door and the puppy's like, and you just close the door and like, that is sick, bro. It's truly direct. Fucked up. Voicemails brought to you by ebay ever heard of them electronic bay electronic bay oh yeah the most one of the most important websites of all time uh hands down bar none and i feel like there was a time uh where sneakerheads really used uh uh ebay to buy kicks i know that i did and then a couple apps get in the way and people forget about how fucking dope ebay is when it comes to buying and selling sneakers you get the

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your collectibles. What's up, KFC? Fights, bean girl. It is the child that looks 40, according to Feidelberg. So I just got back from the grocery store, and it kind of sparked a question, which is how long, if food didn't expire and and you can never leave how long do you think you could survive in a grocery store like not like a walmart shout out to the 26 or a costco or something like that but like a publix or a kroger or something like that whatever the northeast

equivalent is to a publix um at first i was thinking like oh you can last forever you've got everything you need but when you think about it a lot of the aisles in there are just toiletries or different types of water or what i guess water would be helpful to live but like toiletries or mouthwash or soaps that kind of thing that takes up a lot of the store well it's absolutely essential to living how long you think you guys could live and i was also relisting to the episode where you guys go over New Year's resolutions, and I was just wondering if Jackie has done any – how much more drugs has she done? Has she finally gotten into cocaine? Hey, fucking psycho.

That's a good question. We actually are at the end of Q1. Q2 is beginning, right? No, no, end of Q2. It is a good question. We actually are at the end of Q1. Q2 is beginning. It is a good question, but it's a little funny to be like, hey, that girl on your show, ask her how many drugs you're doing. How much coke you done? Hey, bean girl. Zero.

No coke. How many times have you been offered? Still maybe three. That's not enough. How many times have you gone out? Dozens? Yeah. There should be a one-to-one ratio. times have you gone out? Dozens? Yeah. You should get every...

There should be a one-to-one ratio. Every time you go out, you should get offered Coke. You don't have to do it, but you should get offered it. Many people think I'm, like, too classy. Oh, is that it? Is that what you think? Is that it? While you're wandering the village drunk in the rain?

What makes you think that? Why are you so classy, girl? I just... With your dirty shoes. Yeah. Yeah, it's not important. You know Alright so So that was

That was a Bad defense I know I just Cause then I was like I have to go to the mic I don't know where the mic is And then I have to edit this And

It's nice how you decided Just now to go Here Okay Look at that We have a microphone for you It took two seconds Why would you think

That people would think You're too classy Um Um Because I think I just give off the vibe That's like I don't want to like Look at that. We have a microphone for you. It took two seconds. Why would you think that people would think you're too classy? Because I think I just give off the vibe that's like, I don't want to like, like this girl, I don't want to, what's it called? I don't know. What are you trying to say? Got to give me something.

She seems so innocent. And I don't want to like be the one to corrupt her. Corrupt her. So I think that people don't offer it to me because they just think that I'm like such a sweet little angel. And they don't, you know. Sweet little angel. Self-awareness is an important thing. Well, she had the self-awareness to be stupid. It's like, it is.

It's interesting how we view ourselves, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. I just, why do you think I don't get offered coke? And how different that can be from reality. I don't get offered coke. I mean, there might be like you don't put off her coat. I mean, there might be like you don't

put off the vibe. I don't think it's because you're an angel. Or I think people are honestly like, she doesn't need. Are you shit-faced all the time? No. I've been going through a little bit of a phase. I think you're the funny girl. I think you're the funny drunk girl in the crew.

We've seen it before. The videos of her phase. I think you're the funny girl. I think you're the funny drunk girl in the crew. Like, we've seen it before. The videos of her, like, I don't know, jumping over things. Like, she shit-faced, like, hey, guys, you gonna jump over that cone? Whereas, like, coke girls are, like, you know, I'm sidling up to, like, the rich douchebag bro, flirting with him to get his drugs. Like, where's Jackie? Oh, she's, like, seeing how many fucking fucking Uh like pretzels She can stuff in her mouth I mean Literally nobody knows

Where I am the whole night I can't figure I cannot figure out You're just not around Like anybody When you're fucking Yeah They have to

My friends like have Like a protocol Where they have to like Check on me every once in a while Find Jackie Yeah because you're like What you're talking to Some rando

Or you're like Yeah Are you forced to Have your shared location Yeah Yeah You know what You need a leash.

They're going to have a leash on you. Yeah. An adult leash. That would look kinky, though. That would. That might help you get some coke. That's true. I'll find a girl with a leash.

I'm like, yo, let's get this girl some coke. Okay. So this is a question that should go out to the 1.6, the new people. Well, this is the opposite. Right. Our thing, the original answer to the internet was how quickly could you eat everything in a grocery store? And I remember people being like, two weeks. Yeah, I mean.

It would take years. Probably a lifetime. Also, is it being restocked? It's not being restocked. Are we talking about restock? No. So is he saying one, you know, you go in right now, close the doors, that's it? Yeah, I could live until I die of natural causes.

At 40. At 40, yeah, fuck it. i mean i could live until i die natural causes at 40 if we book it uh i mean easily you know the later years i'm not gonna be eating the best stuff but there's there's enough food in there for me to survive and he said don't count expiration dates yeah that's like so all of the meat all of the poultry uh and then you that's the meat you're gonna go vegetarian pretty quick yeah so i was gonna say so that's the thing you can survive but you'll go through all of the meat if it's just what's ever in the case like you don't get like the back room yeah just whatever's out that's like a month no no no no you got you got a good year too i mean i guess it all depends like i have like a kind of have a small local grocery store.

He's saying a Kroger, a fucking Publix. Even that, you go get some burgers, there's a few rows of them and that's it. Yeah. Think of a four-pack of burger patties, right? You have a couple burgers for a meal. Let's say you get two meals out of like one of those packs and there's like 40 of those packs like 80 meals is like but there's a lot more meat aside from burgers yes but so but i'm saying okay so like that's like a month or two worth of burgers there's a month or two worth of snake uh steaks

a month or two and then like all right so six months in you've gone through your burgers, your steaks, and your chicken. I think two years. I think you have two years worth of meat. Okay, that's fair. If you go, because you got all the deli meats. So you can do those for lunches and things like that. So the meat freezer, what we're talking about, that's just your dinners.

So you've probably got a good two years of that. Yeah. And then you can do cereal, eggs for breakfast. I don't know, whatever. I'm not a big breakfast guy. But the... You have cereal for a while, you have pasta

for a long time. Yeah, yeah. You can get all the... Tons of pasta and you have a ton of canned goods. Yeah. Where you can also get

some meat, stews and stuff like that. Stews, right, right, right. So you get some protein there, a lot of beans and all that kind of shit. You get a lot of frozen meats too though.

A ton of the frozen, yeah. Lean cuisines and shit like that. For a hungry you got to think there's probably 500 meals like frozen meals in there at least yeah that's 500 meals you know divide by three that's like you know roughly uh you know you actually might have five meals again you might it might not be a fucking filet you're cooking up for yourself. But I think you have a good amount of... What do you call it? I think you can probably eat meat for your whole life, actually.

Your whole life? I think so. Like multiple decades? Yeah. I don't know. Maybe like a whole life. But you can eat it for a long time. Meat?

With all the frozen foods. No, I fucking steaks, the whole deli. I think you're going to end up eating more than you think. You're going to run through some of it faster than you think, and you're not getting a lifetime out of it. Maybe all of the food. You've got a cheese section. You've got a deli section. You've got a seafood section. Seafood is going to go pretty quick, but again, no expiration, so that doesn't count.

I'm going to say five years. Five years until you die in there? No, no. Until you're a vegetarian. You'll never run out of food. You'll be fine. Well, right. Well, I guess.

You'll have to become a vegetarian, but there's plenty of food to survive forever. You think you have, let's say, 45 years of food left? Absolutely. Really? Absolutely. Easy peasy. With no expiration dates? Easy.

Now, again, you're not going to enjoy every meal. I don't think. But it's fucking easy. 45 years. That's a lot. Dude, a fucking bag of rice runs you a decade. No, it doesn't. Yes, it does, dude.

I'm kidding. There's enough rice in there to last you a decade. No, it doesn't. Yes, it does, dude. I'm kidding. There's enough rice in there to last you fucking forever. There is enough rice in there. I think you'll get a decade out of it. You get the beans? No. I'm not counting the 40. A full life, I'm fine in the market forever.

Not fine. I'm not going to be happy about it. I will not die of starvation that's for sure what's up boys Jackie Paz can't forget about the girls

got em so a few weeks ago I had a dream a very real dream that I was listening to the show and you guys fired Jackie on air. On the episode, you guys released it to everybody. And Jackie just wouldn't stop, like, saying no. She just kept saying, I'm not fired.

I'm not fired. And you guys were trying to tell her that you are, that she was. And she just wouldn't accept it. She wouldn't leave. She was like, no, I'm not fired. I'm not. Like, she was your boss just wouldn't accept it she wouldn't leave she was like no i'm not fired i'm not like she was your boss that's the hank basically um and i had to go check like twitter i had to chat i had to listen to the episode just to make sure that that wasn't real like when i woke up so have you guys ever had some sort of dream like like a bizarre dream, that you had to go make sure it wasn't a real thing

that happened. What did you get that tattooed? Hope you guys even hear this. I gotta give a shout out to my own show, Chaotic Clean Tile. A few of the boys do it. We're almost a year in. What? What was that?

See you guys. That's Almost a year in. What? What is that? Hope to hear this on the show soon. See you guys. All right, okay. That's not a dream. That is a prediction. Premonition. Yeah, that's a premonition that will occur. And I'll tell you straight up.

If you do that, you'll win. I'll be like, all right. Yes, you're not fired. Do that. I'll be like, you're fired. You're fired. If you do that three times,'d be like okay She's not fired I've done this before

Where I broke up with someone We dated for five more years Yep It's the Casanza Turn your key Turn your key We dated forever Yep

That's that Yeah No I'll never fire anybody That's insane I mean I'll never fire anybody Who doesn't want to be fired Especially Jack Perhaps

If they start crying like forget it yeah yeah go back to work go back to not work um i've never had anything like no this i've had things like i've had things where i've woken up and been like it is saturday morning and i was absolutely thought it was the weekend and it is tuesday yeah yeah off completely on shit like that um i've woken up i've woken up and and um i've woken up and been like i went to bed with somebody last night and like they're not here and it's like no no they like they weren't here that night you know what i mean oh i never done that yeah like it's strange like wait she where is she she slept over last night i don't know she didn't you know like weird shit like that but i've never had a dream where i've

pretty quickly wake up and you're like it's a dream yeah i i i looked at the other just the other night when i couldn't find my remote control here um by the way i went back to my room it had been cleaned and they just they definitely put a remote there because it's right in front of the tv no it wasn't there like it's it's impossible to miss it was it's right in front it was not there they realized that they planted it on me they realized it wasn't remote i was gonna say mine was just right there yeah i mean i would have seen that it's easy to see but um my first night when i didn't have that i thought i'd found it i had a true dream that i really had found it and so but for some reason it it was, I was looking for,

the name is not like a Fire Stick remote. And I was like, this is weird. This is a Fire Stick TV. But as I was looking around my room, I was like, you know what? I think I never found that thing. I think that might have been a dream. And this hotel without an Amazon Fire Stick doesn't have an Amazon Fire Stick TV. Chicago doesn't have internet. It is Stick TV. Chicago doesn't have internet.

It is wild here. Chicago does not have internet. Am I right? It's crazy. Like, nothing works here. The Wi-Fi doesn't work. The service doesn't work. I can't play.

Every time I try to turn on a show on Netflix in the hotel, it gives me the pinwheel. Anytime anybody's tried to show me a video on Instagram, it pinwheels. Just like, you guys don't have internet here. I don't know what the fuck's going on. You said it yourself. Phones do not ring in here. I have to go outside to make phone calls. Oh, yeah, no. I just think that's, like, all this shit in here is fucked up.

It's particularly bad in this office, but it's everywhere in Chicago. It's crazy. It's your shitty city, okay? It just doesn't have internet. Stop trying to defend it. Suck at it. I don't know. I'm going It's crazy. That also could just be like... It's your shitty city, okay? It just doesn't have internet. Stop trying to defend it. Suck at it. I don't know.

I'm going to fuck you. You go to New York, I can go into the fucking subway and I get five bars. What's weird is it does say the bars. It just doesn't work. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Last one. Is this... What is up, team?

Mike here again from St. Louis. I do. So I was listening to the pod today. You guys are talking about Crocs or wanting to collaborate with crocs right great idea wonderful company obviously they've done very well so i have my own little crocs story for you so let's rewind to 2003 cancun mexico uh me and my boys are what a time break i'm 18 years old about one o'clock 1 30 in the morning we are trying to talk to these girls at the bar as we should right as we should and then this group of older gentlemen a little bit older probably

i don't know younger than me now so i guess not that fucking old uh try to go up and they're talking to the same girls and the other girls start to show them interests right so they're showing these guys interest not great great for us. Not awesome. I noticed one of these gentlemen is wearing these stupid looking orange shoes with holes in them and a back strap. They look like clogs. They're rubber. I don't know what the hell they are. I've never seen anything like it before. Dumb looking shoes.

So my insult is to make fun of his fucking shoes. He says that they're called Crocs. Mind you, this is 2013. Never seen anything like this before. And he is the owner and inventor or something of this company called Crocs. They're going to be the next big thing. So I told him they were the stupidest

goddamn things I've ever seen, ever heard of, blah, blah, blah. Long story short, I lose the girl I'm trying to talk to to this dummy in these orange stupid shoes that we've all seen yup and now he's a fucking billionaire probably yeah buddy and welder so awesome uh so we'll take that as a hard l so what do you guys died on the cross with thinking that you were gonna to win, but didn't really win. How do you like that, Matt? You never know who you're fucking with.

Crocs rule everything around me, baby. The first time he tried a Crocs out there, though, it must have been a little bit like, are you sure? Dude, it is. You better really be sure. And that's one he stuck with for a while, because they were the laughing stock.

But I don't know if they were. They were the laughing stock, I think, while everybody, families, dads, whoever was buying them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's like, oh, yeah, the hipsters don't like me. Don't fucking care. Right, right, right. Same thing as New Balance.

Same thing as a lot of this shit where it's like, doesn't matter, I'm fucking rich. And now it's gotten to the point where it is having its moment with fashion or whatever. By the way, way 2003 cancun what a time to be alive that was like right around my spring break years and shit we actually went to acapulco people went to cancun all the time coco bongo and all the the mtv people would be there i went to a fucking uh fucking club called El Abrije,

which had like stadium seating. It was before DJ AM died. He was DJing. It was like the coolest party I've ever fucking been to. That guy's set was unbelievable. People were getting so fucked up. Senior frogs. Everybody was going there at the age of like 18, 17.

What an era. What an era what an era i almost got arrested and or killed in in uh in i think either mexico or acapulco um we were at a senior frogs and i was with one of my like kind of just like troublemaker friends and he just picked up a folding chair and threw it off a balcony of senior frogs. It was into the jungle almost. It was just trees and shit. He just threw it off and no sound. We're like, where did it go?

I'm all fucked up and I was like, throwing full, heavy folding chairs off of this fucking balcony could be killing people for all we know. We probably threw four of them off before somebody saw us and then he was like that's bad bad i was like we gotta go we gotta go and we kind of like rushed out and the owners of the bar and the bouncers of the bar

were like coming after us we were like getting into a cab while they were like grabbing us pulling us out and we just gave them all the money we had in our wallets which is probably a couple hundred bucks but like if they called the police or whatever like we're in a mexican prison no doubt no doubt for throwing their property for at the very least for just like probably more so we went down below and we noticed that you're smashing cars and children's heads yeah yeah but man what a time to be alive shout out to anybody who's doing that that sort of shit um and shout out to anybody who's ever i mean that's a pretty specific situation but um i don't know if you've ever been like you know that guy's gonna get the girl and it turns out to be a fucking mega billion yeah i mean that's

obviously never happened i i've died on crow like he it seemed like he was saying oh yeah what's the question more like what's a prediction you were like wrong on yeah um i don't know i just told the texting one texting was a good one i was also i was i wasn't as i didn't have a person i was against but i vividly remember the first verizon commercials about texting so there's people at a concert being like where are you yeah and i was like this is so dumb call it this is taking longer just call it right which i'm still right back on that i still believe my grandma was big on the internet's a fad. She said, this is going to pass. The internet is a fad.

Or computers. I think just computers. That's not going to last. She missed that one. I don't know. I'm usually pretty right about stuff. So how funny was that TikTok that that girl made where she was mouthing you? It was like things that you're good at. Yes.

And all of them were pretty reasonable. And the last one was, oh, I think I can see the future. I did not see that coming. It was like, I'm pretty good at exercising. I'm pretty good at watching porn. I can watch porn. I can eat a lot. I think I can see the future.

It's very well done and a very funny rant from you. But yeah, you do end up predicting a decent amount of things, right? You stick to your guns on a lot of things and end up coming around. And even like you might be wrong for a long time, but it comes true yeah told you motherfuckers um i've obviously definitely been wrong about things that just aren't coming to mind right now sure i have selective memory sports ones that you've had a lot of people like i don't trust that guy or i don't like that person you've ended up being right on that wrong on them too sure but you know we remember the wins um but yeah i mean i've been wrong you know what i'm i i mean i i gotta find like new answers for ati questions that i used to have like we we went back and we found the the clip where you said

what's a group of people you hate and you said magicians and i said gender neutral people oh what at the time it was like so new and it was like i was like what i don't even get this like she and gem and and now it's like a totally common thing i used to also say um people who cut the cable cord so if you don't have cable like kill yourself you're a fucking loser i gotta get more evergreen ones. I got to get... The magician uprising is going to be... It's going to look bad for my past. Mine's going to be people who exercise in the morning before work. I hate those people.

Alright, interview time. We've got Sal Volcano on. We're talking impractical jokers. We're talking his stand-up career, his tattoos. I watched the clip afterwards because I... Oh, it's so fucking funny. I don't even want to give it away what his tattoo is.

And also, this game, this social experiment game that it sounds like, you know, Netflix is doing the Squid Game, like game show. This sounds like something that they would do. It's this unbelievable

social experiment game where people are running around real-life Manhattan hunting each other. Very cool. Today's interview is brought to you by SiriusXM. You can listen to the SiriusXM app at home or anywhere you are. No car required. Stream it on your phone, online, or at

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Offer details apply. Let's talk to Sal on KFC Radio. BFFs after this, right? Yes. Well, actually, I'm going to switch that because, unfortunately, the guys got sick and we couldn't do a thing with all of us. So I'm just doing another day.

Got it, got it, yeah. But KFC's all I need right now. Let's go, baby. So we got so many things to talk about. Let's do it, man. Let's fucking have fun. You are part of one of the greatest cutdowns of my life. Greatest.

The reason why he is the man he is today, and I say that meaning incredibly anxious and nervous and no self-esteem. It's your fault. It's one of the greatest. The reason John is like that? Yes. Why? What is the deal?

It was like really is. So I was dating this girl who worked at Barstool, not in content. She was like, she worked marketing, I think. And she loved Impractical Jokers. And it made her laugh so hard. And like, that's my thing. That's the one thing I bring to a relationship is I make you laugh. Impractical joke.

Everything else is like I'm subpar. I'm not going to. But I can make you laugh. You have a glow about you. Really. You have a great energy. You have a nice teal shirt. You seem like a great fellow.

It's not going to work. Trust me. I tried to build them up for years. You're talking and it sounds like the way I talk about myself. We all do this ourselves, right? And one day we were fighting and I was like, will you just turn this off? I was like, oh, she's laughing.

And I was like, will you just turn this off? Because she was laughing so hard. I was like, can you just turn it off? They're not even that funny. She goes, you guys at Barstool are all like this. You're just jealous because they're funnier than you. And it was the most accurate. She pitted us.

And I went, oh, my God. She pitted us against each other. I was like, yeah, you're right. We are all like that. And it's because we're not as funny. We're not as successful. And it makes me fucking sad. Because I'm supposed to be the one who makes you laugh.

What's her name? Let's talk directly to her yeah no no no okay no she's not here she's she's been gone a long time some kind words well this is also the same girl that um then uh he cried in front of her at the movie miracle and the next day she broke up with him so you know more like than i thought and then i cried like a pet boy's commercial yeah dude i cry all the time insurance commercials get me oh yeah yeah So you know what Fuck that girl More like than I thought And then I cry Like a Pep Boys commercial Yeah Dude I cry all the time

Insurance commercials get me Oh yeah yeah I swear Dude it's It's wild Once I became a dad I cry too much I think You know but I do cry

Have you always been a crier Cause Yeah Once I was like You know whatever I was probably More on the emotional side But not too much of a crier

And then once I had kids Anything like kid related I'm a puddle You just kept it. Yeah. But I'm weird. I don't cry. This is what I'm supposed to cry at.

So I don't, I don't cry like at sad, like genuinely sad, like real life things. Really? Right. I wore sunglasses at a funeral because I wasn't crying

and I was embarrassed. See like a dog get hit by a car and be fine. Yeah. Yeah. Right. That was crazy. But then if they score a goal

in overtime, you're in for it. I remember the first time I was crying after scoring a goal in overtime was BC Michigan in the Frozen Four. I was like eight years old. I started crying. I was like, what the fuck? Sports can make you cry?

This is crazy. Why do we do this? The other thing is I was just listening to the fuck? Sports can make you cry? This is crazy. Why do we do this? The other thing is I was just listening to you on Santino's podcast. Oh, right on. And I know what I love about Santino, and you even kind of mentioned this at the end of his podcast, he's always joking. Like, it's not even – I appreciate a good sit-down interview where it's interesting, but it's just always jokes and bits and lies. And usually you can pick up on the – his voice changes and you know he's being silly.

But I hook, line, and sinker bought that you don't pee for days at a time. Oh, yeah. No, but that is kind of true. Wait. Okay. So – All right. So I texted –

We went back and forth like the game with me and him or him and anyone really is like you know just just who can one up yeah just just just nothing's it's all true and just keep and see right get each other but but that's why he's the best but when you like i said usually i can tell and that just sounded like a real admission from you yeah no i'd be like you know I'm lucky if I pee once a day, but usually it's every other day or something like that. And you said how many minutes is your pee? Well, that is a little bit like, because I looked up how many times I'm supposed to pee. Because I was like, okay, so this is what happened.

So one day I was just like, I just feel like everybody's pissing more than me all the time. Like if I go on a road trip, like I could drive from here to Boston. I don't need to pull over. People are pulling over to every restaurant. And I'm just like, why do people pee so much? And then I was like, well, maybe it's me peeing so little. Six to eight times a day we're supposed to pee? That's a bit much in my book.

I think eight times a day. I was going to say, I've already hit four today. He drinks a ton of water. So I did one today. You drink water? I do. I do drink water. Yeah.

There's a water he also drinks. You've done one. Don't tempt me. I'll drink it. and i'll pee i'll pee thursday no um and i still like my because i do it a bit in my act but it's like but i i pee every other day for like six six to eight minutes but i do pee a long time i probably peed longer than your four peas today. Combine them, you know? See, that's what, I'm glad you're using the word pee, because I told Kevin that. When he texted me about it, he's like, we should bring something to Sal. And I was like, look, if Sal is peeing for six minutes at a time, I was like, I'm done

saying I gotta take a piss, because I don't piss, I pee. In fact, I pee pee. But Sal fucking pisses. You know what it's like? I don't know how to work this thing. I've been like wrestling with it. Is this fine? I just...

I'm like, I don't know. Yeah, no, I figure piss is a little bit of a harder... You know, I say piss too. I was in a pee mood today when I said pee. I'm giving off pee energy. I knew that I could say pee to you. Kindred spirits, you know. Let me tell you, there are pee guys and piss guys.

There are pee guys and piss guys in this world. Let me tell you what I'm sure. He's a pee. Yeah. But, yeah, I think it's dangerous what's happening to me with the piss. Yeah, that does not sound healthy. Is it, I mean, I don't want to get TMI here, but is it like a normal color? I think it's a mental thing.

It's orange and sometimes it's green. No, no, no. You get a little pink in there. You know what's the weird thing? It's psychological. If I'm out and about and I'm busy, I don't pee. If I'm home for the day, I pee way more often. So it must be something.

Maybe if your bladder's on self-defense mode. I don't know what it is. Yeah. But that's funny that you thought that, because he said stuff like his stepdad was Carl Sr. of Carl's Jr. Yeah. That was the first example. I was almost texting.

I texted him about it and I was saying Santino jokes and lies on purpose a lot. And the example I was going to give, they were talking about Carl's Jr. And he was like, you know, Carl Sr. once like, you know, like events of the atomic bomb or whatever. So like those things are obviously blatant jokes. But the P, I was like, i think this man's telling the truth i just talked to santino last night because he's he's here in town uh and he's gonna do my two podcasts on uh on monday so i you guys i i don't know i have you know you know every time i do hey babe and i do taste buds with

joe de rosa yeah yeah so he's coming on both of those. Dude, Taste Buds is one of my favorite things. I locked him in while he does it. Every time we talk, he's like, yeah, we'll go out for dinner. We'll do the show. And then I'm like, okay. Well, I was coming off. To be fair, I was in LA last week. I did every podcast. And after I did his, he said, I'm coming in.

And he said, what day? And I said, I'm putting you on. I put him right on the thing. Yes, you have to lock him in. And he put it in the thing right there. So don't. Because it took me a while. I've been trying to come in to see you guys, too, but my schedule is like, it's so stupid.

It's like, it just is. You're a busy man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're a busy man. What do you want? But not for lack of wanting to come in. It's really cool to be here. It is.

Season 39. Season 82 of Impractical Jokers. We always said we'll do 50 seasons and then we'll take a talk. And then we'll do a reunion season. No. Season nine starts to air on June 16th. Well, it's the last eight episodes of season 9. We started season 9 in 2019.

Yeah. And then we start filming season 10 in two days. And you're locked in through 11? Through 10. Through 10. So after 10 is... 10 seasons is such a remarkable accomplishment, man. Dude, yeah.

Seinfeld did 9. So Seinfeld, if you're watching it, we know that you are. I did ten. I was going to say, once you hit the double digits, you're in like Sonny and Kardashian territory. Yeah, there's really not many. Greatest sitcom and the greatest reality show of all time. Which is kind of what you guys are, right? It's not really reality because you guys are like writing these jokes or scenarios.

But it's reality in the sense it's not actors. You're 100%. I just had this conversation because we get, like people need to describe us and they'll say a prank show. I don't really think we're a prank show either.

And people will say a reality show. I'm like, that's not really reality either. It's like, it's a comedy show. Maybe that's why it works though. It's unscripted comedy

but we write so much of it. Right. You know, so we do whatever, we will write tons and we'll have it there and then also the whole rule is throw it out the window

to whoever you want. because you can't wedge it in there if it doesn't go that direction. You need to have something there and then also the whole rule is throw it out the window too yeah because you can't wedge it in there if it doesn't go you need to have something there in case like something's not sparking yeah but first and foremost i try to just be like completely in the moment because that's also like nothing scripted could be as good as something happening unfolding in front of your eyes just like when you're doing crowd work 90 of the time right it's better yeah yeah i mean you guys You also are You've ruined the internet You've ruined people

Well there just became this prank Guys just keep airing grievances with me I'm here for it Son of a bitch Salvocano But like the internet went through this Era of like YouTube pranks that were just like I punched an old lady in the face.

Watch how I reacted. It's like, yeah, you're not talented. You're not writing anything. You're not funny. You're just doing outlandish shit. And unless you are the jackass guys, I don't think that's funny. You know what I mean?

Right, right. They have that on lock. Those guys are unbelievable. When we first came out, people would compare us to them. I get it. It's just real friends doing shit, but that ends there.

I could and wouldn't do what they do. And also, they were like a global phenomenon immediately. So it was nice to be compared to them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But yeah, but I know people, it's so funny, people that don't know the show or don't really give it a chance,

they'll form an opinion about it. Always. Which is a great place to be. Yeah. I think that's what it got with like barcelona was like oh they hate us and they haven't even like consumed a thing we ever did right so it's like all right that means we've like crossed all these these thresholds where yeah it comes along with these preconceived notions for some reason but then then it's the refreshing to get people like you know

what i all these years i didn't watch it then I finally did, and it was on for like 11 hours straight, and I didn't stop watching, and I get it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But people will do that. They'll be like, you do little pranks. Yeah, right. They think it's like a YouTube, like I punch someone in the face and run or something. I don't know what they think.

No, as a matter of fact, me and my comedy team come up with some of the most entertaining television of the last decade. You assholes. Because I do think there's, there is like, it's almost like a joke in itself of like, like Impractical Jokers

have become such a big thing. It's like, are you an Impractical Jokers fan or not? And people have an opinion without ever seeing it. And I don't, I don't really get it. I don't know.

It's a weird phenomenon where it's like you get big enough that people just automatically are like, fuck that. They have to have an opinion. It's actually weird. They can't just say, I haven't seen it yet. I don't know. Right, right, right.

I actually – I really – I think I'm one of the people who have seen the fewest episodes in the world. I feel like it's – I've somehow avoided – like I haven't seen it as much as – I feel like everybody has seen. Yeah, well, the thing is they play it all the time. I heard you say it was on 51% of their airtime. Yeah, it is. Yeah, it is. Because the last time we had to negotiate, we got that stat. And it's like, if you turn on True, 51% of the airtime for the year was Joker's.

Which is also, we didn't expect that ever. But it's like, them replaying it that much helped us so much. At that point, the table flips. You're like, we technically own the network. You're negotiating with me. Why should I let you keep your fucking job? True TV, God bless them.

But it's Impractical Jokers and the NCAA tournament for the average person. Yeah, I get that. So you're up there with the biggest sports tournament in the world, in my mind.

Yeah, they put us on. That's what I would say if I was your agent. They did this cool thing for us this year where they put us on so That's what I would say if I was your agent. They did this cool thing for us this year where they put us on. So the NCAA was airing on TNT, TBS, and True all live. And then this year to launch the show, we had Eric Andre on our first episode.

They made a special. They played us after. That's their Super Bowl. Right. That's it. They played us on all stations after that. And we got, I think, 7.2 million viewers that night. night my viewers like yeah and that I mean for this era like TV that's like Super Bowl is a great like a Thrones episode that is yeah that's something

crazy yeah yeah jeez fuck me like I yeah we were like whoa I wasn't even expecting that you know but it's so yeah yeah, it's crazy. I like how you're about to say something. I got to stay humble. I got to stay humble. Off line. No, it wasn't. It was more like a complaint. It was like dirt.

We cut it, I'll tell you. Was there ever – like part of me I think would maybe be concerned about overexposure in a way. Were you ever like let's not air it every – that's not air 51% of the time? It's not up to me. I don't mind if they air it like all the time, but I am concerned about overexposure in a way like were you ever like let's not air it every you know that's not 51 of the time it's not up to me i don't mind if they air it like all the time but i am concerned about overexposure like i don't know like i it's hard for me to watch the show myself oh i would never be able to watch anything i don't really watch it like you know because i edit it so i'll see it before it goes to the air and i don't mean i'm like i'm sitting there like oh my god but no we edit every episode like those nerds who edit videos. Dorks. No, I'm not there like cutting it.

But they'll send us an internal rough cut. And then I send them all the notes. Then a rough cut. I send them all the notes. Then a fine cut notes. And then we lock. OK. So there's four passes of the thing.

So I have to give notes on it. So it's like literally stop at this second. Cut to this angle. It's like that granular. So I do it all. So I see it. And then if there's ever an episode I can't get to because I'm really busy or whatever, I only notice on TV the things that I hate and the things that would change and the things that I don't think are funny.

You just enjoy it. Yeah, look. We're doing this. It's like 300 episodes, 10 years. We get lost in the moment. We get lost. Sometimes I'm laughing. I'm a laugher by nature.

And sometimes I'm laughing so hard. And it's all genuine. But sometimes I watch it. I'm like, enough with the fucking laughing. Dude, I do that with myself all the time. I would give them notes. Like, I want you to cut 50% of the laughter of us out of this. Because we are the soundtrack to it.

I mean, the laugh track i should say so it's like we met but i'm like you never can recreate how you feel in a moment sure and i'm like that's not that funny i'm laughing too much you know i'm really laughing so i have them cut out so even me i'm like i'm like i get some of the criticism like i don't think everything we do is funny it'd be impossible can you imagine that so there's some things i do we love something i do is okay and some things i do that we i fucking hate and i'm like that's not funny it never was i wish we didn't do that and so when some people catch a certain thing and they go i didn't think it was funny i'm like i can understand that yeah people tell me something cut that what's that you wouldn't have the ability to be like that's not funny cut that well or do you and the guys well it all

depends sometimes it's not that because we overshoot so it's just that sometimes it's just the way it goes, or someone else likes it and I don't like it, or this or that, whatever reason it nets out. And sometimes I'm like, I just don't like this. And then as we go, too, we do more, and then I'm more discerning on what we do, and I want to raise the bar and raise the...

We first started, it's like you get, there's a lot of easy jokes to make. You get them out of the way, and then all of a sudden, you're like, no, no, no, let's stop making these. So sometimes they sneak through still and things like that. I mean, it's got to be impossible now, no? Just the notoriety and people knowing you guys and all that shit. To film it? Yeah.

It's harder than the beginning. Do you have to go? I guess you just really know where you can go. I was going to say outside the city, but there's. No, it's everywhere. We need the city because we need this much population. Yeah, yeah. But those are also

the people I think we're going to... I guess they watch it all in every demographic. You know, people, a lot of characters here, a lot of strong personalities in New York,

a lot of people. So if you know me, the next person doesn't know me. Right. But we do go through great lengths to... Because that's the number one question I get asked.

Yeah. Is how do you still film it with the notoriety? Sure. And it's just like we have a whole set of things we do that we created to make sure that people don't recognize us. It's also – I think there's something psychological about it where if you are in a place and a time that you don't expect to see a person at a place and time, you don't register. You're 100% right.

And that happens every once in a while. I can vouch for it because people will go, oh, I know that show't realize it was you guys or like oh my god it is it's you i know you and i didn't realize it was you yeah because if you're not looking for it it was the uh they when um superman first came out yeah the one with henry cavill they did that you know that's always been the thing with the criticism of superman is that like everyone recognized him with just the glasses yeah so they stood him in Times Square under the Superman banner with the glasses and

Superman's not wearing the glasses no one recognizes him that's awful I think it honestly just shows how like people are just like you know narcissistic

assholes who are just like consumed by themselves and they're not you know what I mean like not ever like you know realizing what's going on

I'm not paying attention to anything yeah right right it's just like I'm in my own world I'm always. I'm not paying attention to anything. Yeah, right, right. It's just like I'm in my own world. I'm always trying to be more observant myself. I always say I flip-flop between too observant and not enough. There's no in-between. How about this?

I was watching a spy show last night, and, you know, this one guy got tailed by a spy for, like, miles. She said, I've been following you since, like, back in or wherever. Do you think you would notice if someone was following you? No chance. Driving, I'd have a better shot. Walking, no chance. Because you would see, oh, that red car has been behind me. Driving, I would say I'll probably catch it eventually.

Probably not before they kill me. The girl I was watching with, I asked her, and she was like, unfortunately it's different for girls, she was like, yeah, sometimes I look at shadows around me. Highlight, for sure. And I look in the reflection of windows and shit. I do.

If I'm walking down a block late at night and there's someone behind me, I'll always hit my periphery and the reflection of the door or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm alert in that way. If someone was telling me, I've always wanted to be tailed. Yeah. I've always wanted to be tailed. I want to try to lose a tail. You get on the bus and then you switch the other

bus i was in a high-speed chase a couple times in my life what yeah a couple times yeah a couple times one was a real one but then one was like driving no on the one are you a criminal sam i was yeah one was like a like stupid college thing but the other one was i used to play this game called street wars have you heard of it? Guys, it's the craziest thing. Okay, they might still do it. They take it. It's basically, you ever play the game like Assassin? Yes. Because I really didn't, but

the point is, have you heard of it? It's this water gun game that takes place over three weeks in New York City. It's been going on for like a decade. It got so popular they've taken it to like London and San Francisco and other cities. And what happens is it's the most brilliant thing you've ever heard. So what happens is on for like a decade. It got so popular. They've taken it to like London and San Francisco and other cities. And what happens is it's the most brilliant thing you've ever heard. So what happens is you pay like a few bucks and you join that game, right?

And so they'll take like 300 people and everyone becomes an agent. And you don't know this, but you get a person that you have to tail. And there's a person tailing you at all times over these three weeks. 24-7? 24-7. What? You carry a water gun or any type of water gun you want, anything.

You could have a big one, a small one, anything, right? And you basically, what happens is you get, this one day you get an address to go to out of nowhere after you sign up. You go to this address, and it's like a street corner,

and there's someone standing there, and they're like, hey, come with me. And they take you and then they walk you to somebody else they walk you to somebody else it's like a movie and then finally someone takes you into a building like an abandoned building and you go like up and like up steps and it's completely pitch black and there's a guy in the shadows and you walk up to him and he and it's like all whiskeys and he's like have a shot of whiskey whatever so you have a shot and sit down, and there's lights on you so you can't see him. And he's like the mastermind of it all.

You did this? I did this for years. Why? Every year, right? Yeah. And he hands me a dossier, and he asks me a couple of questions, and I leave. And they schedule appointments for every player over the week. And I leave.

I open it up, and in it, I have a dossier on a person I've never met that lives within the five boroughs that I had to assassinate via water yeah in those three is there real information like where they live were you already famous during this what's that were you already famous it was it was the very very very beginning or right before it and then maybe

I did a little bit right after it so I wasn't really too well known but it was like I think it was before and then but anyway then i have this person it's where they live what they all their stats where they work what their routes they take everything right yeah and their pictures and so i had to carve out time in my day to tell this person are you still doing your job in your everyday life or do you go to work so there's some rules it's like it's a square block of the address of your job. The sidewalk is a safety zone. Public transportation, bus stops and subways are a safety zone. And the square block – oh, no, not your home because I got shot right in front of my house.

So like you can still go to work and not get shot because like you're like, I'm not playing the game right now because I got to go to work. No, you could get shot the second you are not on the sidewalk of the address of your job. Got it. Right, right, right. And they can go to where you hang out. And then they also hold a mixer at a bar in Brooklyn once a week where any agent can go and drink. And you might run into the person you're looking for there or might not. You might get tailed.

You might not. So they stir up the attention. And so what happens is you have to figure out how to tail this person. And then you have to hit them with the water gun. And it's an honor system. And then then if you do they're carrying their dossier they have to give you theirs and you get your next person to kill you have to kill at least once a one person a week for three weeks to get to the finals so if there's 200 people and there's only 40 people left in the finals because they didn't kill as many people you get into the finals

and then everyone in the last fourth week the last like 20 30 people whatever just they hunt the creator of the game and whoever kills the creator of the game first wins but i can't tell you something do you have to understand like you understand the like the feeling you get then once the game begins it's 24 7 you leave your house and you feel even if you're not being tailed you feel like you're being tailed by everyone i've had that to be looking around me at all times, wondering where it's coming from, what angles, whatnot. And one time I was tailing a guy, and he got off one of those boat parties up on like 23rd and like the east side.

And it docked. I knew he was going to be there. And he got in his girlfriend's car or something, and I started following him on the FDR. And then they noticed. I followed him all the way up to Yonkers, and then once they got off, they noticed I was tailing them in Yonkers,

and they just took off in the streets high speed. Probably real dangerous. I was going to say, I can't believe this is allowed. You can have teammates. So you can have up to five teammates, but if one teammate gets shot, the whole team goes down. So while you have more manpower, there's more exposure, right? It's crazy, this whole game.

And so high-speed chase. And then finally he tucked and rolled out of a car and ran into a house and closed the door, right? And so we circled, parked far away, then got out on foot. And we, like, army crawled up this block. And there was, like, an old guy outside, washed his car and a couple kids, and we watched. We just were waiting. He's like, he has to come out at some time.

Dude, it was nightfall. I was telling this guy for like nine hours, and then all of a sudden, my friend goes, he ran out the back. He jumped out the back window, went in the backyard, hopped over like a huge like cement wall, and then his car picked him up,

and we tailed him all the way back into Brooklyn where he went again. So then we lost him again and then I got a tip. I got a hot tip because they do all this stuff too. There's informants and stuff. I got a tip that he'd be in the Fort Green area. So I went on foot. It was like at this point, it was like midnight. I would tail

the guy for like two hours. I swear to God. It was when I didn't really have a job or anything. Any life at all? telling the guy from like two hours I swear to God like it was when I didn't really have a job and I tell this guy and on foot I like in hindsight it's probably very dangerous I was thinking I'm like

holding a gun like a water gun in my pocket I'm like walking with a hood on I mean definitely don't like maybe don't do it but

I saw him on foot I chased him in Fort Greene Park at like midnight after like an eight-hour chase and he ran and he jumped off like chased him in Fort Greene Park at midnight after an eight-hour chase. And he ran and he jumped off. Because in Fort Greene Park, it's elevated. The grass is up and on from the sidewalk.

And he jumped and he fell and he rolled. And I just ran. I jumped and I just shot him in midair. It looked like something out of a movie. You got him, though? I got him. And then I made it to the finals. And I never killed the creator, but I almost got there.

But then at the end of it all, they throw a party for every person involved, and you go, and the whole board is up with all your identities to see the circle of who was supposed to get who. And you meet the people in real life, and you have this big – and then they give an awards ceremony for greatest kill, most kills, all that stuff like that. Is there a money prize or anything? Shout out to my buddy Franz who created it. Is it a prize or just like yeah they give you like no they'll give you like they give you money yeah but then they're dicks about it too like i think the win the the prize money was like something like a thousand bucks and they brought in all pennies or something like that golden pistol i won like best kill story because i tell them eight yeah they gave me one of those like huge bottles of Jack yeah oh that is unbelievable I do I mean I you know run around the streets in New York pulling out guns right now yeah that might not

be a good idea but like you know we had like the guns are like orange yeah yeah other than that like I mean that sounds I, I would be terrible at it if I lose right away. You're allowed to use an umbrella as a shield. That's the only thing you're allowed to use. Someone could also throw a water balloon. A grenade at you. That's how we killed people too. We would kill people.

But we stood up on top of a building, and when they walked out, we just dropped them, like just bombed them. You'll see people break out in the streets with like umbrellas shooting guns at each other. Like it will just break out, and you're like, oh, that's at each other like it'll just break out and you're like oh that's Street Wars they're playing I am such a nerd for this I fucking love this

I think I have way too much anxiety oh I don't think I could I don't think I would do it I'd be good at it but I want to like

watch it I would watch a reality show of this you should put it on TruTV I swear to god I swear to god you should produce that

and I get 50% no that is not a bad idea that's a fucking good idea 50% is absurd I think you know it's absurd 25 25 not a bad is not a bad idea That's a fucking good idea 50% is absurd I think you know it's absurd 25 25

Not a penny less Not a penny less And you can pay me in pennies I swear to god We thought about it We thought about it It's just I think it's a really

It takes a lot of manpower To cover that kind of thing It would have to be like 10 instead of 300 Yeah yeah yeah But it's not It's not a bad idea to revisit The same way that you

Notice I said revisit Yeah If you had You know the same way that you... Notice I said revisit. Yeah. If you had, you know, the same way people become like a fan of this guy on Survivor or this girl on Big Brother, like there would be fans of these people and they would love to, I mean,

watch them in their element and like... So were you trying... Were you like thinking of things that happen in the movies and shit? Like, all right, I gotta like... Every movie trope that you've seen. Like you said, you have anxiety. If you have anxiety, I do too.

If you have anxiety, it's probably not good for you. I can't get it. You feel it for real. Every tense scene in a movie, it feels like you were in it. Like you're walking down the block. You're just looking over your shoulder. And by the way, everybody seems suspicious when you think someone's trying to get you. So do you know how many times I shot someone a look or said something or even drew my water gun on someone that had nothing to do with it?

You know what I mean? I can't even imagine. I can't get a text from someone that just says hi. Because I'm like, what the fuck? What do you mean? What do you mean? What do you mean hi? I get too much anxiety. I'd be like, what the fuck? What do you mean? What do you mean? I get too much anxiety.

What's going to happen next? So walking around with like, unknown what comes next would destroy me. So I ask, can you commit suicide in the game? Can you? Well, man, I don't know. I gave it a shot. I gave it two days.

This is not me. My guy's taking too long to find me. Just a water pistol to the head. I guess as you record it and you get like, I mean, this is more. Yeah. It's like, just squirt yourself a strip down. You're like, oh. I, uh, were, are there like family men and women doing this?

Like, or is it mostly like guys who are like. No, guys and girls. Guys and girls. I just, the thought of like a middle- No, guys and girls. Guys and girls. I just, the thought of like a middle-aged guy like kisses his two kids goodbye, like grabs his lunch from his wife

and puts his pistol in his pocket. Gotta go, kids. He walks out of the suburban streets. You do. You feel like John Wick. It was guys, girls. It was a lot of people like that were creative types

or like that worked in the bar scenes. At the time, I worked in a bar. So I bartended for like eight nine years so uh you know like a lot of service industry people they all connect so like a lot of bars would be like when they let out they come to my bar i go to their bar and there's this whole like kind of like community yeah you ever have like a public bar kill like like you're hell yeah yeah i threw i used to throw these theme parties at my place and i the most popular one i threw we did like seven years in a row was like a night prom night 1984

so i would gear up like i would go all in for this thing like people would have to ask people to prom like you'd have to you have to wear a tuxedo like we had uh we had you had we had the camera people there to take like the prom photos we would have a a pregame where I would hire a limo. So the limo would make rounds to pick everybody up. We'd have to punch. And then they'd pick them up and then drop them to the bar where the prom was happening. We really went in deep. And I would decorate the place.

You couldn't even. It was like thousands of balloons every year. And it grew bigger and bigger. The paper used to write about it. And so one time, right in the thick of the middle of Street Wars, I did it. And I invited every year and it grew bigger and bigger. The paper used to write about it and so one time right in the thick of the middle of street wars I did it and I invited every assassin to it and it was a shit show.

People were getting shot all over the place. That's when we dropped the balloons off the roof. I was on the roof of my bar like I was like I've never been up here before. Sometimes you ever catch yourself in a moment like it's like 2 in the morning. I'm in an 80s tuxedo on the roof of a building holding a water balloon.

I'll be like, oh, this guy doesn't know what's happening. What is my life? Can I tell you, I caught myself in a moment today. And I don't know if I ended up taking a picture. I didn't. I might have deleted it because it wasn't good. I was standing in my kitchen I had exercise this morning

and I was just in a good mood today right and I was standing in my kitchen I told you I felt it from you the glow

you have an energy baby they're rare they're rare so I make them loud and I was standing in my kitchen after a shower you sure you didn't

get naked weren't you stark naked eating a bowl a burrito bowl and I was like I'm fucking just happy I'm happy I was like I'm fucking just Happy The way you came Into this earth

You know Just with a burrito The way you came Into the earth I swear to god I took a picture I almost tweeted Just being like

Like just for a little update Like I am just naked In the kitchen Eating a burrito right now You didn't like the video though And it wasn't No it wasn't Just to get a picture

I was going to tweet the words And add the picture and then it just i looked fat so brought me back down to earth you know oh god yeah happy anymore i have that sobering thing happen to me every few days because i forget that i have jaden smith tattooed on me so because i so on the show years ago um so in the show, like if you lose. You said that so casually. It's my life. Yeah. If you lose on the show, like you get like quote unquote punished.

It's something you endure that the other guys don't. But sometimes you lose together and more than one person will take it at the end. And so one time three of us lost and one of the guys got to, it's usually a surprise. And so we showed up and it's like, hey, you hey you guys are getting tattoos today that's not always the type of punishment it is but and so the thing was that we couldn't approve it or look at it until it was done the only thing we could do was pick the placement so i was like all right i picked my left thigh because i'm like that's gonna be the thing that's most hidden right and so we went and then after like five hours in the chair not looking we get up and the camera turns on every wall band, and we all have to rip them off one by one. And like Murray ripped off his thing, and it was a picture of him.

So we threw him out of a plane once, and he cried. He cried the whole way down. We call it cry diving. And we also say he looks like a ferret. So they tattooed a picture of a ferret skydiving on him. Ha, ha, ha. Yeah, that's a good one. That's kind good one. That's cool. Q is like an old curmudgeon

that's, he's like the cat woman, but he's a man. Yeah. And he has three cats. So like at the time, now this was eight years ago, but they tattooed on him

a picture of a cat and it says, 38 lives alone, has three cats. Oh. That's just mean. And then I peeled mine off and it was a,

it was a photorealistic, literally photorealistic, like a picture of a 15-year-old Jaden Smith. I mean, you ever look at the tattoos, and you go, that looks real. That's what I have on my left of Jaden Smith at 15, like that big. I forgot he was 15. Yeah, so straight up, right? So then I have to my left of Jaden Smith. How big? 15, like that big. I forgot he was 15. Yeah, so straight up, right? So then I have to live with that, right? Oh, you can just come right up. So I have fun with it, though.

I have fun because people that don't know. That's a great story. Any tattoo is like, I feel like all tattoos are kind of dumb. Some are kind of cool. But they're all like, if it has a good story, then it's a good tattoo. But the thing is, yeah. Oh, my God, Sal. Which one?

There's a black one? Oh, my God, Sal. Which one? Is it black? Oh, my God. So that's the first one. Holy shit. Yeah. Hold. Hold. Hold.

Yeah. So, no. So then, like I said, I'll have fun with it. Like, if people don't know that I have it, like, I'll just start talking about Jaden Smith, like, at a barbecue, like, ad nauseum. And then until someone goes, well, you really like Jaden Smith? And I'll be like, no, I'm his number one fan. And then I go, I have tattoos of him on my legs. i'll be like no i'm his number one fan and i go i have tattoos on my legs and they're like no and i just pull my pants and i show them and then they feel so uncomfortable because one because they thought i was joking and

they made fun of it so then they're like you have to walk it back i'm like no that's cool if you like it also it's a 15 year boy, like three inches from my nuts. And so I forget I have it. That was my point. Like every once in a while I'll go into the shower and I'll look to the left in the mirror and I forget he's on my thigh. So then fast forward to about three years ago we're making the movie. They surprised me. Get in touch with him.

He's in the movie and I go crash. He was doing a movie premiere. And I go crash his premiere and he's doing a q a and i don't know he knows and i'm like hey so i have it on my thigh so the whole thing was like they made me go in there and say in front of everyone i'm your biggest fan i'm a diehard jayden and and then he's like yeah are you and i'm like yeah i will like let me show you so like i'm thinking this is all happening so he calls me up on stage in front of this whole movie premiere. And they just see. Maybe some people knew who I was probably, but not everybody.

So they just see this guy get up saying, I'm his big fan. And I pull my leg out and I have a tattoo of him. The place is like, what the fuck is happening? And then he goes, yeah, that's me. He goes, but that was like six years ago. He goes, I'm 21 now. You need to update that. And then the whole crowd just is like what and they start cheering

and then he's like let's go and we leave and we go right from there to a tattoo parlor and he with him? he poses for it and then I have a 21 year old

full color Jaden on the right thigh no way yeah they made me get it so I didn't I didn't wait so did he was he

he stood there in on it though or like he was in on it he thought it was a cool moment okay at that point he was in on it at that point I cool moment. Okay, at that point, he was in on it. He was in on it at that point. I didn't realize until that point.

Amazing. And then he posed for that. Literally, that's what he looked at. So that's Boom Boom. Boom Boom. So I have him 15 years old on the left, 21 years old on the right. That's unbelievable. I mean, you know you're going to have to do like 30 on the back.

Yeah. You got to just keep doing this until I'm both of you. They say every five years I have to get it on video. Or I'll just put a Smith family Mount Rushmore on my thigh and get the rest of them. You know what I mean? But it is wild. Willow here, Jada there. Oh, my God.

Yeah. It's also weird to explain it to when I'm in a new relationship. I was about to ask that. Has that been a turn off for anybody? I always have to have a conversation. I have to talk to you about something. Right. I'm going to take my pants off here.

And then they think it's going to be really bad. And then, honestly, I think sometimes they think it's worse than they thought. That's a great question. Would you rather the person you're about to sleep with tell you they have an STD or they have no? I'm about to get intimate. I've got to tell you something about myself. Like, oh, no. But there's also like that.

It's like, oh, man, I was hoping you just had an STD. I just knew it was the clap. We can fix that. You can't fix Jaden Smith on your body. Oh, man. I think once you get to that stage, I've... You got dumb tattoos. But I've also been into people with some pretty bad tattoos around their genital areas.

And I'm like, what are you? Who fucking cares? I have a Sour Patch Kid on my thigh here. I love it. Amazing. But it's not a good one. You know, it's funny. They later admitted to me that what it was going to be before they thought of the stroke of brilliance that was Jaden Smith for no reason.

Because people were like, why do you have that? And I'm like, for no reason. That's the point. It was going to be a Caesar salad. That's funny, too, though. It's funny, too, to just have a Caesar salad. But I guess this was. Is that just you love Caesar salads?

No, no, no. Just general. No, no, no. Hilarious. That is spectacular. That's true. Is that just you? You love Caesar salads? No, no, no. Just general? No, no, no. Hilarious. That is spectacular, man. That's true. I mean, that's why that crew works, though, right?

That's why you guys are where you're at. That's why we're doing season 10. And you guys knew each other for forever? Same age. Met as freshmen in high school all the same year. 1990, we went to high school together. We met at 13. And now we know each other 33 years. Yeah, that's wild.

That's like the literal dream, right like you meet your best friends and you we've been doing comedy together since uh since high school but then officially we really gave it a go we started in 99 so we've been doing comedy together for 23 years a lot of people like just think we're friends that got lucky but we're comics yeah that's what's funny with people i think you know part of impractical jokers is when you also learn that you are it's're comics. I'm a stand-up comic. That's what's funny when people, I think, you know, part of Impractical Jokers is when you also learn that you are, it's not just like

I'm a prank guy, it's like I'm a stand-up comic for a long time. I'm one of the funniest goddamn people in the world. We had like 10 shows fail before this show. Sure.

You know what I mean? It wasn't just like, oh, you know, and people are always like, so how do you prank each other in real life? And I'm just like, I don't.

I don't even think my show's a prank show, but I'm not the guy. But unfortunately you know i do like press something like so you're the prank guy yeah i'm like no no no i'm the funny guy we were just doing that it's that's the thing about like really like jobs as a whole is like you can if you say it in a tone yeah like oh he's a construction worker what no i build people's dreams but we just had uh josh richards in here who's a very famous tiktok guy and a huge fan of yours and um and we were like we were debating what's the worst be like so i have to tell people i'm a podcaster and he's a tiktoker

and like it doesn't it doesn't matter just matters how you say it right we said that with your chest it's like it's fine if fine. If you just describe, I think we've said this before, the meanest thing you can do to someone is just accurately describe exactly what they do in a bit of a tone. Oh, it's the KFC radio guys. They take voicemails and talk on podcasts and make dick jokes. Yeah, what do you do? That's literally exactly what I do.

Or they call it a little skits. Yeah, skits. A little skits. Yeah, I'm like, yeah, I guess you do? Little pranks. That's literally exactly what I do. Or they call it little skits. Yeah, skits. Little skits. Yeah. Yeah, I'm like, yeah, I guess I do my little skits. Forget it. What about taste buds?

I mean, describe that one. I argue with my friend about cookies. You know what I mean? But it's fucking brilliant at the same time. That's another thing. It's like we just didn't want to do, like, dude, the pandemic

was so annoying. I bet. Everyone gets so politically charged and everything. It's like, you know, but it's just like we wanted to, like, if you know Joe DeRosa, he'll argue about anything. So we always argue about anything. He's perfect for that show.

Yeah, and we always argue about food. And we're like, this is where I want to like – I want to argue like we're arguing about politics but about food. Because everyone has an opinion on food and no one's offended about anyone's opinion on food. So let's just fucking – I disagree on that one. You get some people who are like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Domino's? Fuck you!

Put it in the best way. Mention Domino's in New York. Like, you live in New York City and you get Domino's? Personally offended. Domino's is a very

one I'm passionate about because I love Domino's. I grew up on Domino's. Sometimes you're in the mood for pizza, sometimes you're in the mood for Domino's. They're different things.

It's true. I was like, oh, that's very complimentary with Domino's until you finish the second one. That might be their slogan. That could be their slogan, dude. Sometimes you're in the mood for pizza. Sometimes you're in the mood for Domino's. We're not trying to be anything we're not here. We're not saying we're pizza.

We're saying we're Domino's. Yeah. It's a different thing. It's a different food. It's like, can you slice my Domino's into eight slices? I always say this. There was one time I was coming home. I was coming home.

I was living in Murray Hill. And I had been at the bar. One of my favorite hills. Mine's handy. Top five. But I was living in Murray Hill, and I was coming home from the bar. I wasn't hammer drunk, but I'd had a few beers by 10 o'clock at night. I'm walking home, and I'm just tired of the bar. I wasn't hammer drunk, but I'd had a few beers by 10 o'clock at night.

I'm walking home and I'm just tired of the 99 cent slices. But I want pizza. I walk by Domino's and I walked in and there's this woman there. They're very small. Ordering Domino's in person is trash. I walked in and she was like spooked. She was like, I didn't even know people came in here.

I haven't even seen a human in 10 years. The door is unlocked? What the fuck is this? And I was like, do you guys sell pizza by the slice? And she was like, they're $4 for the whole thing. What are you talking about? And I was like, I just want one. She's like, we don't do that.

That would be like 45 cents a slice. I was like, all right, never mind. I probably haven't even got it. I had one guy. I was like, all right, never mind. I probably haven't even got it. Yeah. I had one guy, I was on the road one time and I was like, I had like the day

free and I was like, all right, I'm going to go to a movie. I think my show's later and I'm like, I'm going to go see a matinee

and I'm like, there was nothing. It was like, it was like on the road, like in Iowa, on the side of a highway. So I was like,

all right, I'll get some dominoes and go to this. How bad is that? I'll get dominoes and then I'll get some Domino's and go to this, how bad is that? I'll get Domino's and then I'll sneak the Domino's into the movie theater and eat a full pie

while I watch this. So yeah, I'm meant to go to Domino's. You're going to break it up into different pockets? How are you going to get a pie in there? What's that?

What was your plan to get the pie in? It's a really good question. I didn't think much about it. I just figured, I have my ways though. I think I probably wrapped them in napkins and put napkins in like big cargo like big jacket pocket I got it in but my point was so funny like I saw I tell this one kid working there look like that biggest stoner in the world

two kids but the one kid helped me was like yeah you know and I go I'll take like whatever pie and I said you know pepperoni right and it's so funny cuz I then waited you know like behind the bulletproof glass and I see, I'll take whatever pie, and I said, pepperoni. And it's so funny because I then waited behind the bulletproof glass or whatever it was, and I see him in there, and they take out the pizza. It's already kind of made, and they just add something, and they just put it on that conveyor belt. And I see him go like, I'm looking at him from the back,

and I see him go like that. They throw the sand on it and shit, right? I just see him go like that, right? And so I'm like, oh, okay. He's passionate about his toppings. And then I left, and I go in my my car and I drive to the movie theater. I'm parked in the movie theater parking lot. And I'm like, you know what?

Let me eat. That's what I was like. Let me eat a few slices before I go in. And I opened it up, dude. It was the pie and there was one pepperoni in the dead center of the pie. He threw one pepperoni down. I don't know if he was high or he was a wise ass or he thought that was going to be funny. And I opened up the box.

I lost my shit. Because I was like, it was one pepperoni. The Emeril Lagasse-ed pepperoni. Bam! I was like, I couldn't tell if that was the funniest thing ever. I was like, what a dick. What an asshole. That is just like.

I paid for pepperoni. No, that is just like. I paid for pepperoni. Yeah, yeah. No, that is just like... I paid for 90 cents. I'm going to ruin that guy's movie. I know what he's doing. He's going to go to the movie theater and sneak it in. I think it was so hard

that he was like, I thought I was like, I'll have a pepperoni. I thought you were going to say pepperonis on my pizza. Plural, please. He only said a pepperoni. He's waiting for somebody

to be like, I'll have 40 pepperonis. I snuck cheesy gordita Crunches into the movie once. I had them in my hoodie pocket. Yeah. And I walked in and – I'm shameless, dude. Well, so let me – what would you do in this situation?

It was a very strange movie theater in Yonkers. There was like five rows and that was it. It was like a really small one and there was like a school outing. There was like a bunch of kids with their teacher and I went alone and I walk in and I have

Jesus Gordita crunches in my pocket. I was like, I can't do this. It would have been a crunch and people were looking at me and stuff. What movie? Oh, you've seen like 101 Dalmatians? That film was weird. I was like, I can't do this. Like being the guy, it would have been a crunch and people would be looking at me and stuff. What movie? Oh, you've seen like 101 Dalmatians? That film was weird.

What was it? I think it was a bad movie with Ryan Gosling being an astronaut, Neil Armstrong, first man on the moon. Oh, yeah. I like all space stuff, but I was like, this is a weird movie for these kids to be at and there's going to be the old guy eating tacos. So I ended up just stuffing my face, and I went back to my car and ate them really fast. Really?

I should have just heard the story. I don't know. I felt weird. I do feel when it's crowded, and all of a sudden I'm unwrapping a hoagie I bought at the deli. Or you hear a noise that shouldn't be there. The can opening and the chips opening is always a dead giveaway. I wait for an action sequence.

We did that in high school, dude. We would be... It was before... I mean, we were in high school, so it didn't matter. But it was before movie theaters had ever thought to sell alcohol at them. Right. And we would all bring in a six-pack or whatever. We'd bring in some beers.

I remember one time we walked in, we had glass. And we all sat down and simultaneously we all put our... They were Heinekens, I think, put them in the cup holders. And the cup holders didn't have bottoms. Oh, no. Oh, no. Like six beers just erupted right away. Usually we bought cans.

And we thought that we were the most inconspicuous people in the world. Like, you always mistime it somehow. That might be why the floor is that sick. I always thought it was just like ejaculate. Turns out it's not a thing to do. The movie theaters, dude, they bring up a weird amount of anxiety and stress with stuff like that. What, you're allowed to be doing or not doing? Like, you, it's like, and it's weird because you're taking orders from a 16-year-old.

Yeah. They throw on the vest. They have a name tag and they have the pattern. I was like, all right, whatever this person says, I'll do. But there was one time I walked in, I went to see, it was back when Movie, no, Movie Pass. It was hot in the streets, right?

I would walk by a theater every night on the way home from work, because that's our old office. It was back when Movie Pass was hot in the streets. And I'd walk by a theater every night on the way home from work. It was at our old office. And I got a Movie Pass, and I would go four or five times a week. Basically, I'd go and watch a movie, whatever. As long as there were enough movies I wanted to see, I'd go every night. And this was towards the end of the week, so I was running out of stuff, and I wanted to see Jumanji. And I walk into Jumanji, it was um it was it was packed it was packed maybe it was thursday night and it was jumanji premiere but whatever

it was it was packed and i walk in and i might be past the jumanji premiere yeah that in and of itself opening night baby come on you think i'm missing wayne johnson opening night that's what movie pass will get you but i go to my seat And it's a A woman's purse is on it So I was like I'm too uncomfortable And anxious to deal with this So I'm just gonna go to a different seat

Yeah So I just walk up to a different seat That whole purse game And And And it was And I'm like whatever Like who cares

It's not a big deal But then Because we were still in the preview So I'm kind of panicking Just hoping Someone doesn't come And say Excuse me you're in my seat Right And then the movie starts Who cares? It's not a big deal. But then because we're still in the preview, so I'm kind of panicking, just hoping someone doesn't come and say, excuse me, you're in my seat. Right.

And then the movie starts and I'm like, we made it. This is easy. No one's going to bother me now. And then like 30 seconds of the movie, they flick all the lights on. One of those 16-year-old kids comes to the front and is like who isn't in their seat because it was the one it was a one seat that was a full show and I'm like pot committed now so I'm just like sitting there quietly

thinking like I hope he doesn't find me I hope he doesn't find me scared I'm too deep in now now like the entire theater is paying attention to who it is we'll wait so no they won't wait what they'll do is they'll come around It's not like the entire theater is paying attention to who it is. It's like, we'll wait. Yeah.

So, no, they won't wait. What they'll do is they'll come out and they'll start checking everyone's tickets. No. So everyone's got to focus. Oh, because you had a signed seat? Signed seats is the best thing that's ever happened to us, though. Except for this one night. Right, right, right. And so they're coming around.

And this woman sees on the left stairwell. And I'm probably three seats in on the right. And she's checking everyone's tickets, and she's walking down aisle by aisle. Oh, and you know it's coming to you. And I know it's going to be, and I just got up and ran out. I just got up and sprinted down the stairs and ran out. You're like, shame, shame. And then once I kicked the door open like a kid in a coming-of-age movie,

like leaving the high school. I kicked the door open like, kid like you know I'm like a coming-of-age movie like leave in the high school kick the door open like I'm out three employees are sitting there with the kid who see I was sitting and you're leaving the movie early and like a 16 year old again being like like an asshole yeah that's really leaving early you know why I'm leaving you son of a woman's fault yeah that's her yeah and I had her purse on my seat, I would have. I mean, great. Look, I could have just been a human and been like, could you move your purse, please?

No, I know what you mean because the worst thing for me in the world, my biggest anxiety, and it doesn't happen now because of assigned seats, but it's saving a seat. Yeah. Yeah. I get literally want to piss, shit, and vomit at the exact same time. When someone asks me to save the seat, there should be a word for it. I get so nervous because especially like when you're saving a seat that's when the shit hits the fan.

It's already packed and when it wasn't assigned seats, nobody wants to sit in that front row. Everyone's scrambling in the last minute. When the thing goes down and everything starts, you don't want to be like because then like you put your hand out and it's like we can't sit there. I'm like, someone sit.

I used to tell people frazzled, things they didn't even need to know. I'd be like, sorry, it's my nephew. He has Crohn's. I would just be just offering information. I'd get so befuddled. My mom had sent me out a couple times, maybe two, three years this happened, to save a pew at Christmas church. Like Christmas

Mass. She was like, that is wrong. We both had visceral reactions to that. And it was like, you know, you want to find the most vicious people in the world, find Catholics on Christmas Eve. God's Super Bowl. And I've got like, I brought

my jacket, an extra jacket a hat a scarf I'm taking off one glove here one glove there I'm taking a shoe off I'm just trying to like spread out as many items as I can

and I'm sitting in the middle being like no no I mean I was like we're never no mom they don't give a shit

that you're in church too if you get someone pissed off they'll fight you in church the most despicable behavior you'll ever catch they'll cut your fucking throat man my heroes ran the crusades so you think I'm gonna let this go easy most despicable behavior you'll ever catch. They'll cut your fucking throat.

My heroes ran the Crusades, so you think I'm going to let this go easy, you fucking nuts. Anyway, I don't want to keep you too much longer, but we do got to talk about Chrissy D. Chrissy D, we're huge DeStefano fans over here. Yeah, me too. Me too. His special out

on Netflix right now called Special She. Give him a plug there. What a fucking guy. Yeah, we do a podcast called Hey Babe, which I mentioned before. So Taste Buds is with DeRosa. We do Hey Babe. It's been good.

We started a dorm over the quarantine. Yeah, you guys are just friends through comedy? Comedy, yeah. We're all friends through comedy. We and Chrissy toured a lot together too, doing stand-up. A couple New York guineas getting together. Exactly right

And then we were just like For years we were trying to start one We actually tried Me, him and Tim Dillon Tried to start one a few times Oh wow But we couldn't get We just couldn't get it together

We tried like five or six times Then Tim moved And so we were like Oh let's just do one together And then we started it Out of my I do it out of my house Yeah

And then DeRosa too Right And it just So Chris comes to you for yours They both come to my house because my schedule that's nice notoriety seniority I mean

yeah you know what it was it was like if we want to do this I can do it but I have so little time that I have to and I had the extra room for it

and they were like perfect because we don't have to rent the space because now Chris he lives near me anyway so it's like so we do it there yeah and we threw it up on

like I didn't know because I used to do one called What Say You with Brian Quinn from Jokers. And it was like really popular. We started in like 2013, but it was audio only. But now the wave of it is like YouTube. So we started like the No Press channel.

We put it on YouTube and on audio, but it gets just as much on both. So it's kind of cool, but it is like a little bit different because, you know, it's different when you're being filmed. Like I used to be able to like just sit at my kitchen table and cue it with a mic and not even – but now it's like you have to like – you're filmed. I used to be able to just sit at my kitchen table and cue it with a mic. But now it's like you have to be on. We got lucky because we started before podcasts. Podcasts were definitely a thing. But ours was always recorded on video.

They went on YouTube right away. We started in 2012. Just because we didn't live together. We all lived in different cities. So we had to be on Zoom. Google Hangouts. Because we didn't live together. We all lived in different cities. So we had to be on Zoom. Google Hangouts. Then we did Skype. We did everything.

Back when Skype was first. Yeah, man. I mean, I can hear the music in my head. Do, do, do, do. Yeah. Dialing in. So we always recorded that way. Then ripped the audio.

Put it out on audio. Right on. And in the beginning beginning we also did youtube as well damn what episode number is this for you guys then i couldn't even tell you yeah i think next week is our 10 year anniversary oh congrats it's been a long time but you're in a small club too there's not many people that that have have 10 years of pot it's very very rare that we meet people they're the company you're in yeah i know you know like some of the obvious like ogs and then

I think Bobby Kelly predated us by a little bit. Yeah, you know what too? Maybe your mom's house, maybe, but I don't know.

Yeah, they were early on the game. Q actually is on one called Tell Them Steve Dave. They've been doing it for 10 years. Really?

But you're like, I mean, I can only name maybe five or something. Yeah, I know. You know, 90% of them don't get to episode two.

Yeah, it's crazy. 90% of the podcast don't get to episode two. Millions exist exist but you know like 30 matter right right it is it's a crazy i love it i mean i was just i was about to say it earlier in the conversation like i never in 1 million years would i have thought that in this interview we would have talked about a sass a game an assassin game yeah yeah like and it's all

because i said what i was watching a show last night do you think you could you know yeah the places you go on a podcast are fucking incredible but it's also so weird because it's all because I said, what, I was watching a show last night. Do you think you could, you know, the places you go on a podcast are fucking incredible. But it's also so weird because it's like if you told me to go up to someone at a bar or a restaurant or an event and say, go just have an hour long conversation with them. I'd be like, are you fucking crazy? Oh, I know. I won't even say hello to them. I'd be nuts. I'm going to sit in the corner. You can do it with my best friend.

Go sit down and have a talk for an hour. What are we going to talk about? Yeah, right right i don't want to be in that position yeah but you give me a mic and a guest and the same and the uh the uh you know i just expect you to give and take a little bit and then we're good you know as long as it's like you'll play ball with me i could talk for apparently 10 years i could just keep going oh you guys have like yeah i know and i know from doing it too it's like when someone comes on and like the hour flies hour flies by because you're not trying because it's just easy. And it's not QA, QA. Right.

But then there's a whole, then there's, like, when you guys got to work for it. Just like when I got to work for it on stage or when I got to work for it, like, with the potter. It's like pulling teeth. Yes. It's like, God damn it. Talk to me, man. I love the times, like, we say, we're so gracious. Thank you.

Take a picture. They go. The door closes. We both go. You know, and the whole room knows it. Like, yeah, we'll stash that for a couple months. I'm going to leave a GoPro in here when I leave. There's an art to it.

There really is. It's like, you know, you got to, there's, I don't know. Talent is the word. It is weird, too. Like, it is one of the to it. There really is. It's like, you know, you got to, there's, I don't know, talent is the word. It is weird, too. Like, it is one of the most popular phrases of all time, the time flies when you're having fun or whatever. And, like, I saw you get a text from somebody. I saw what time it was. I was like, we've already been in here for an hour?

Yeah. I would have guessed it'd been 10 minutes. Yeah. Yeah, it's great. For real. Yeah. We'll probably have to wrap it up in a minute. But, yeah, Chrissy and Hey Babe has been, like, a phenomenon, right?

I mean, were you, Were you, obviously, so successful and you don't need to do any of this stuff. Was that a passion project? Or was that like, let's go try to make some money and blow it up? No, it was more of a passion thing. Well, first, like I said, we were trying to do it for two years.

We started touring together and we would cry laughing on the road together in the hotel rooms and backstage talking about all these stories. I'm like, we started touring together, and we would cry laughing on the road together in the hotel rooms and backstage. You could harness that. Talking about all these stories. And I'm like, we should just do a pod. And he's like, absolutely. So it took two years or so to actually, or even maybe three.

And then it was like 2018, maybe the end of 17, we were talking about it. And then, yeah, the pandemic. And I was like, I wasn't filming. I wasn't on the road and everything. And I was like, this is the time to do it. And they can't go away i didn't know how long the shit was going to last and how long was everything was gonna be shut down so it's like i could do this every week without fail so that was part was like now the perfect timing to do it and then you know it was just more to just have fun and and then just to have something in the pocket too but now everything's

back and it's like now it's like crazy because now i have the two plus everything right now it's like we really have to try to fit it in but i love it so much that you know and we i didn't expect to make you know money on it you know but we're making some money on it now too you know we have our sponsors and things like that so taste buds is is unbelievable we we did uh we used to have a guy on our show called big cat his last name's phytoburgs we call the cat fights it was premise, 60 seconds. I give you the two topics ahead of time. But the clips that come out of that, and DeRosa is so perfect for it because he's such an asshole about it all. But the passion behind, are you single stuff?

Are you fucking kidding me? Whatever it is, people get passionate about it. But you both do it well. He's pro or anti-single know, whatever it is. People get passionate about it. But you both do it well. Wait, is Joe pro or anti-single stuff? Whatever it is. Because I'm a huge single stuff guy. He's anti-Oreo. Double stuff too much.

He's a Chips Ahoy. That's crazy. That was the beginning of it, right? Yeah, it was Chips Ahoy versus Oreo. We argued about that for years. We argued about it on a cruise. And then a couple of summers ago, we were in a pool. And we started arguing about it,

like passionately. Yeah, like arguing. And then we started arguing everything big over a cinnamon raisin. And I was just like, you're a fucking idiot. You don't know what the fuck you're talking about.

And then we were so mad. We were laughing. I'm like, should we make this a podcast? Yes. He was like, I would do that. I'm like, I'll do it.

And then that day, we just thought of a hundred things. We're like, let's just do it. That's the thing about it too is it's like, you know, it's evergreen. We were going to call it food fight.

We went to all these names and then like, we thought of taste buds and we were like, boom. But like, I mean, the dramatics that you'll hear,

like, you know, one of the, it'll be like, do you think that the founding fathers wanted it to be like, you know, whatever it is.

Like, talking about SpaghettiOs, man. That's the best part that is that is also it's the most fun part I should say for us because it's not political and it's not this

and it's not that it's just goofy but it's there is passion we do a show and actually if you have time did you just get electrocuted I don't know what that was

yeah I saw you go like that I was like do I need to dial 911 if you do have time we'll pop over to do this this YouTube video

because it's called answer the internet where it's the stupidest questions dumb hypotheticals yeah but I always say like if you can

take it seriously without taking it seriously you know what I mean like and that's when internet magic and podcasting fun happens

it's like this doesn't really matter but because there are people on the other side screaming, like, no, Oreos! Because everyone can relate to that. It reminds me of, I actually told you this yesterday,

but I was watching Norm MacDonald's new special on Netflix. Yeah, yeah, I got to watch that. And he has a little bit in it where he's talking about the opinions these days. And he's like, when I was growing up, everyone had six opinions. Sometimes you run into a guy with eight opinions, you go, god damn, that guy's opinionated.

But guess what? They were all about food. That is where people have their strongest opinions. A thousand percent. Especially the Italians. We get that feedback, too. People come right up to us like, you don't understand. My whole family watches it, and we all argue.

Or people are like, I listen to it on the way to work or on my lunch break. Very funny. is it and we all argue or people like yeah i i listen to it on the way to work or my lunch break it's like very fun and they all have like and they say like i shout at the i shout at the you know the radio yeah yeah it's like they're like you just they it's like they're part of the argument right you're fucking nuts yeah we did that just yesterday we were talking about something like fairly serious and then as a joke while we're talking about something serious i was like it's like it's like if i said like uh dark chocolate is better than milk chocolate like you wouldn't get that and he was like whoa would you say yeah and actually that's not a bad one it derailed us and i'm very i say that at some point in your knob about in some point in your life dark chocolate

is like you know you're mature fuck yeah at some point in your life you just flip and you're like wait no i can't even eat what chocolate anymore. What side are you on? I like both, but I understand what you mean. I didn't like dark chocolate until I got older. I didn't even understand its value. I was like, this is terrible. How is this on the market? It's a bitter, disgusting chocolate. Yeah, I love dark chocolate.

More than milk chocolate? Well, now milk chocolate feels a little too sweet. Yep. So I need it in moderation. But, you know, that's just me. Milk chocolate is like the king, though. If I give you a chocolate chip cookie, you don't want it to be dark chocolate. Yeah. Well, maybe. No, but that's, milk chocolate is like the king though if I give you a chocolate chip cookie you don't want it to be dark chocolate

I don't know about that I'm a bar guy I'm not a pastry guy so I'm a candy guy so when I say I'm talking about your milk chocolate dark dark like fuck that give me the original they call it midnight although at different levels of dark too you could buy that one that's 99% dark

it's just like a fucking rock Yeah It tastes like nothing It's like bark I like low test Yeah Those You know

The fancy chocolates Are always dark Filled with like almonds And like Oh like you know Russell Stover's Throw them out I want the dark ones

With the raspberries Throw them out Yeah Russell Stover's is tough though Russell Stover's is I don't like Taking the risk That is the fakest

Not fancy But you think it's fancy Yeah 100% Shout out Russell Stover's is I don't like taking the risk that is the fakest not fancy but you think it's fancy 100% shout out Russell Stover promo code KFC but yeah no

that I like to know what I'm getting I don't want to have to read a fucking chart I did a whole bit I did a whole bit on this one

the yellow box one it's like not even it's like one well they had like the little wrapper like almost the elastic thing around it it's a yeah the big bar the tall no no no it's like not even one. Well, they had like the little wrapper.

It's a big bar. No, no, no. It's like a yellow box. Yeah, I know. It's like like Russell Stover. Oh, I know. Come on. Come on. I can't. I can't leave without us. No. I literally did a sketch on this.

That's all that lives on my picture lives online. I can picture it. I know exactly. It's got like a white trim maybe. It's a box and you take off the top. It's yellow and it has like a border

around it. It almost looks like it's. Yeah. That was it. Whitman. Whitman's sampler. Yes.

I was going to give you guys hints to see if you can get to it. But yeah, that's another one. Genther's is close. What did you say? I said Genther's.

Genther's. Someone gave me like a 10-pound box of that. Because I did a sketch on it that they liked. And I brought it home. It was wrapped. It's still in my house wrapped. I don't know what to do with it. You know what?

I don't know if this is what you were thinking of, but was that why you said Garota? Or is that just by chance? Because that's a G. Wait, no. Whitman's is a sample of chocolate. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what we're talking about. Oh, I was saying Genters. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, that's not what I was thinking of. Genters.

That should be. Genters. Let's get into the chocolate business, too. All right, so let's go next door. We'll do our YouTube video. Anything specific you want to plug? Yeah, I'm on tour. Yeah, I guess Joker starts up in Thursday night. Yeah, so we'll do another five minutes.

No, Joker starts Thursday night. I don't know when this is coming out. Probably next week. Okay, so it starts June 16th, every Thursday night. We actually start filming season 10 next week. I'm on tour. I've been touring all year. You go all around the country?

All around the country, and then next year year, hopefully get to the UK as well. Do you bounce back? Like come back? Are you on the road? Like you stay in hotels a lot? So depending. No, what I'll do now is weekends. But like when I have more time, I'll do like bus tours.

So I'll do like three weeks at a clip. Like three times a year instead of doing like every single weekend. Right now I'm doing every weekend. But I have Vegas coming up, Portland, Seattle, Syracuse. I got Milwaukee, Minnesota. I'm just everywhere right now, you know? Yeah, salvocanocomedy.com. Good for you.

And then Taste Buds and Hey Babe. Once I, if I got Impractical Jokers, I would just be Impractical Jokers. I'd be like, I'm done. Kevin, I got KFC Radio and decided I'm done. So, yeah, I think Impractical Jokers would make me decide don't just do this the way i was raised man i just feel like i can have nothing tomorrow yeah i'm like i will take every job you still feel that way because every yeah it's like 100 we are desperately trying to take some time off and we just won't do it i know but we're all i'm we're always convinced that like

we're gonna stop and someone's gonna pick up a new show on Tuesdays and Thursdays and never come back and Someone waiting right behind you, you know hustling that we had I I had to learn to say no but like even right now like I'll I get this is not even I'll take a break Like every couple years like when I have a nervous breakdown When I have to go away for a few Physically won't allow you to do it anymore because you're harming yourself so much mentally and emotionally

yeah man yeah so come see me on tour at the food who knows how much longer it's going សូវាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប� Thank you. Bye.