KFC Radio - Sh**ting and Puking w/ Lil Sas - Full Interview

Episode Date: April 10, 2025

Timecodes: 0:00 Start 00:07 Going by "Lil Sas" vs "Harry Settle" 06:23 Sas is having fun filming Les Mascots 13:15 Kevin consumes more sour cream than anyone in the world 16:06 Sas on puking and s***ing 32:48 Dave Portnoy on CNN 34:34 Sas's shaved head 41:39 Sas was born with 12 fingers 44:48 Extinct Animals 49:20 Dog people 57:33 Taxes and Trumps Tarrifs 01:09:49 Open Carry laws 01:18:55 SOABD Joe Rogan Kettle Bell +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ BlueChew: Try your first month of BlueChew FREE when you use promo code KFC -- just pay $5 shipping. https://BlueChew.com Simplisafe: https://SIMPLISAFE.com/kfcradio to claim 50% off a new system with a professional monitoring plan and get your first month free. A24: In IMAX and theaters everywhere April 11 - Get Tickets Now https://tickets.warfare.movie HeyDude: HEYDUDE Golf styles drop exclusively in May. Sign up now to be the first to know at https://www.heydude.com/golfYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC radio on Apple podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon music. Well, I would just like fart all the time. I had three sisters and they would get mad for sure. But also like my dad was the same exact way. Harry's in the building! Hello. Sasquatch is here! Hello, thank you for having me. You think, is it just gonna be sass for life now? Yeah, probably. Like, was there ever a moment where you were like, you know, when you're a young dude it's like

whatever, but you're like, I'm 40 and people call me sass. Yeah, it's weird cuz I don't like, I don't really care. Yeah. But people do have, people always are like, they'll be like Sass and they'll be like, oh sorry, do you don't want me to say that anymore? It's like, I don't give a fuck. Dude, I get that a lot too.

Do I use your nickname? Yeah. It's like, I don't know, people do that, do I use your nickname or your real name? All the time. I guess mine's a little different. Yeah. You know what Sass and I just learned yesterday

was Sam, his real name, like you know Sam, whatever. His real name is the time. I guess mine's a little different. You know what Suss and I just learned yesterday was Sam, his real name, like you know Sam, whatever. His real name is like Alfred. Wait, who's Sam? Sam Martin. But it's Alfred, like Sean Martin. There's no Sam. There's no Sam. A-S-M, so he just said S-A-M.

That's a little weird. If his actual initials were S-A-M then you went went by Sam Fine, but it's A.S.M. And he just was recreated. He came out with that. Not even like his parents. There's no his parents. OK. All right. Which is worse. Yeah. I feel like if he was a kid, I don't know.

For some reason, I don't get when when like a lot of parents will name a kid. And but decide like we're not going to actually call him. Yeah. It's like they just call him that. that yeah like if you wanted to be Charlie instead of Charles or but whatever like that's put the name that yeah yeah yeah my sister's Trisha like not put Trisha because my mom was like I don't want people calling her Pat yeah her her mother was Pat and she always felt like a boy or whatever she like so it's just Trisha yeah just do that you know yeah that's what my parents is that my brother is not is not Benjamin it's just Trisha. Yeah, just do that. You know, yeah, that's what my parents is that my brother

It's not is not Benjamin and spend yeah. Yeah, Harry and everyone people I've never I don't know Are you Harry or Harold Harry? See that's a good example. They didn't want Harold. Yeah, I don't know if I've ever met another Harry That's if it's usually government Harold or Harrison. Yeah. Yeah. My my buddy was playing poker in Vegas one night like a month or two before his kid was born, and he ended up at the same table as Lady Gaga. And he's a funny guy, and he was just like, Name my kid? He's like, Lady Gaga, I'm gonna name my son Charles,

what do you think about that? And like, I think she was smoking a cigarette, and she just goes, make it Chuck, and teach him the arts. And so, So his name's Chuck? So his name's Chuck. Wow the arts. That's enough for me to do that. When you go up on stage where they announce you as Harry Settle. Yeah yeah that's the reason that I that's the only thing that I cared about. You didn't want to be on stage.

Because that's the only thing like sass feels like your name could be like Sasson and they just call you sass or some shit. Exactly. Little sass squatch is a little bitass. Cause that's the only thing like sass feels like your name could be like sassin and they just call you sass or some shit. Exactly. Little sassquatch is a little bit different. Especially when I started here, everyone called me little sassquatch. Yeah, that's tough. Which I was like, that's adding on a whole nother element.

There's a whole thing. What was the origination of that anyway? It was like my gamer tag on PlayStation. Just fucking around? Yeah. Yeah, it was my gamer tag on PlayStation. And fucking around? Yeah, it was my gamer tag on PlayStation and then I, when I was tweeting in high school, I didn't want my Twitter to be connected to my name and then it just kind of stuck like that forever. What was the origination behind little Sam Squatch?

It's in your burger, right? Trailer Park Boys. What? Trailer Park Boys is, there's a dude on it that messes up the words constantly, so he calls Sasquatch's SamSquatch. That has a lot of followers too though, right? Trailer Park Boys? No, no, you're the whole... Yeah, they're doing pretty good, Trailer Park Boys. Trailer Park Boys is fucking great, dude. It's a great show, it's phenomenal. That's a show that never, it. Oh boy. Just fucking great great show

That's a show that never I have not given in it on an honest. I I don't think I've ever seen I mix it up with pawn stars Yeah, much different on star yeah Think that I pictured like guys in a shop like selling shit that was so what are the the trailer park was just living like in Trailer parks they live in a trailer park. It's they live in a park in Canada and They are just like white trash. Are you in? It's one of the funniest shows Is it on it's on Netflix? Yeah, I think so and it holds up Well, like I just really watched because I watched it when I was young

The fact that you haven't seen it is crazy because the show that we're filming He's not a reality guy though, he doesn't really do that No, it's not reality It's not reality No! It's a mockumentary This is crazy, you don't know Trailer Park, of course I don't know anything about this I don't know anything about this

It's one of the funniest shows of all time Holy shit, I did not know, I thought this was like a, that's why you gave me that face Cause I was like, yeah I thought this was like a people living in Trailer Park just being No, it's fucking, it's, dude, it's one of the funniest shows ever. I- I love Canadians. I've honestly, like, never had a long- a relationship with a Canadian who I didn't like. I hate Canadian television. That whole sentence was crazy. I love Canadians.

I mean, obviously I've never had a long relationship with a Canadian I didn't like. Like, every Canadian I've ever known, personally, I fucking love. Yeah. And I do not like Canadian entertainment No, you would love it. I don't like I don't like again. These are shows I've not given like real chances to but Shorzy letter Kenny this people are always telling me like you'd love it I mean, that's why I don't like about this Creek. You don't consider that shit's great. I like I don't love I liked it during the pandemic like I've never gone back and like, yeah,

this is great. I didn't know anything about this. The show that we're filming a show right now that is not far off from how this show is filmed and this show is one of the funniest. Let's go. That's your inspiration. Elevator. You know, trailer park boys were doing it again. That's great. It's like it's a mockumentary.

Alright, I'll give it a watch. Yeah, you gotta watch it for the brand. Yeah, it's true. Is that guy is like just an actor? The guy in the front. Bubbles? Yeah. And he just looks that way, but he's... I think he looks normal in real life. Yeah, that's what it looks like.

Hamming that up a little bit, yeah. Yeah, it's kind of just, he actually doesn't even look that much different. I think it's just he wears those glasses. Glasses, yeah. And makes the face. Johnny, it kind of looks like you, like, Ed Sheeran. Oh man, I can see that. When you're trying to be Ed Sheeran.

Yeah, Lay Mascots is rolling. You guys are doing it, man. Yeah, it's been a blast. Yeah, you like it? Yeah, it's been very fun. I've, everything, everybody to a man who was involved in it says it's very enjoyable Yeah, I mean I told them like I when we did the sketches obviously forever and those were like Those felt more like work than this does like this feels like it's I think it's because it's the same characters every time

Like the time we did the sketch. It's a new character, right? That's hard Which is obviously not that not that I'm like changing my it does feel easier and it feels more fun but yeah it's been good. How far along would you guys say you are? We are done with the pilot 50% done with episodes 2, 3, and 4. Oh wow. And how are we thinking for season one? Eight. Eight. So you're 50% to halfway there. Yes. Yeah. The highest, I guess, marketing thing I would do for the show is Harry's active in the group chat.

Wow. That's how you know. Harry sends texts in the group chat, and you're like, damn. That's a big sign Next you just gotta get Trent to talk about it Guys talking the most fun part of it. Yeah, I don't know. Do you think like the yesterday like the park shooting is fun Yeah, I think it's fun. It's uh, I mean it was cold yesterday But like it was cool. It was cold yesterday. I have the best setup because

You're in the fucking but like Tommy's also in one, but his is not as high quality as mine. So mine's line Great If we end up shooting if we keep them on through summer then it's gonna be tough for me Yeah, the tables are gonna turn real quick on you, but right now it's great but the I love we kind of talked about a little bit with Times Square, but like Getting to know the characters in the park is so I was gonna say I don't know if you were talking about that or not But you told me a few things about your interactions with the locals that is very funny

Dude, the yesterday Tommy was playing chess with like one of like the guys and he's just talking about fucking his wife or something I was yeah, so funny. Yeah, people are insane I mean, it's crazy being at Washington Square Park at like 10 a.m Yeah, it's like empty. Yeah, and the only people that are there people that are like crazy I sat down at the I had to fill it We had to I had to sit at like the circle in the middle, where the people skateboard. And it was just me and two homeless dudes,

and one of them, there was just a crack pipe just on the ground next to him. And he saw me and he was like, oh, my bad. And he took it and moved away. I love to still have the awareness, this is very uncouth, to smoke my crack in front of this gentleman here to get it together.

This is not. He's like, listen, it's 10 a.m. Do homeless people like party less on like, do they go harder on Fridays? Do you think that holds you like, it's the weekend! I can see what you're saying because look, not that they're listening to a ton of music, but like all the music is for the weekend if you're partying. Yeah, that's true. They're not doing a lot of fun partying. No, no.

There is maintenance partying. I heard of it. There are some places that are playing opera and classical music to get rid of homeless people, and it fucking works. Like, homeless people will be hanging out and they'll like play it and they're like fuck this shit and they leave I could see that like I was thinking like a homeless person like this is fucking beautiful Opera is classical is fine opera would not be enjoyable especially on crack Fucking like six nine would not be enjoyable especially on crack I don't think I've ever been on

drugs and not liked whatever was playing you just go to whatever I'll buy yeah to be fair like you're probably not doing the six hours. The hard stuff. I'm not doing the H, but aside from that, I've probably done anything thereon. It's such a shame that you're throwing. I've smelled crack. Yeah, I forgot. You've smelled crack?

I've smelled cocaine. Which is always... I don't know how it works. It's so funny that... I think it's different. I think it's different. Is it? Yeah.

I mean, I just did it once. Probably because I think... It was fucking good though. Smoking once probably because I think it was fucking good smoking cocaine It's probably not as like easy as smoking crack. Yeah, it's pretty easy. Just put it in the parliament Let me tell you super easy I'm pretty sure making crack is like insanely easy. Yeah, I mean you just cook up the coke, right? I think that's what you're baking so I've I've watched people smoke. Yeah, cook crack before oh really yeah, where are you doing that Brockton mass, baby? Brockton went to my buddy's I don't like the spoon. Yeah, when my buddy's girlfriends boyfriend's house we were probably like 17 18 we were going to buy coke and

We were just standing in Brockton, and I was like what is he doing like he's cooking crack like this is like the levels you know like for you to be like alright I gotta get the coke I gotta get the baking soda the spoon the torch I'm gonna cook it I'm gonna tie off I'm gonna get a needle like there's so many steps for you to be like I shouldn't do this once you're addicted I get it you know you blow through all that but that first feels first times where it's like It's easy to just take a hit of something do a line take a shot whatever take a pill like this is like I don't even like going to get my own fork when I order food right where's the plastic? food right where's the plastic this is all another step damn I get so mad when they don't bring a fucking you know I've been I already eating I try to drink like smoothies a lot and they'll bring the smoothie without the straw straw is

not and I'm like who has straws just at their house yeah like what do you what like that's I get like a fork or a spoon being like oh they probably have one at home but it's like a straw a fork or a spoon being like ah they probably have one at home But it's like a straw straw is pretty fucking is yeah like I need that now I got a fucking you got to drink it out of the cup Dude I had the other day I forget what I'd ordered I want to say his cookies or cookies or something weird and the delivery guy apologized to me where he was Like sorry, they didn't have any blue cheese

And I looked at my CMOS and I had a saved request from probably when I got a pizza two years Could you grab a blue cheese? Blue cheese with that? He's like, dude, these are six s'mores cookies. Dude, speaking of condiments, I, there's a chance, I think, at least in America, I eat more sour cream than anyone in this country. I'd be willing to put that out there.

I legitimately think I consume more sour cream than any American. Do. I'd be willing to put that out there. I legitimately think I consume more sour cream than any American. Do you eat a lot of Mexican food? Yeah, I eat a lot. I eat a lot of tacos. Yeah. And then, but even like, like I do a lot of tacos.

I do like an Asian chicken. It's like chicken and peppers, but I end up just throwing. So I make everything like a mechs. Yeah. Tex-Mex, Asian mechs, infusion, everything. I just put sour cream on everything

and I put a lot on there. Yeah. I think sour cream is a criminally underrated condiment, but also to the extent that I'm doing it, like, it gives me shame. Like, when I'm having it, I'll like, I don't want to see people, I don't want people to see how much I use it.

I get it in the bag. I get that. Like in the squeeze-out bag. Not even in, so I just. How much are we talking? This sounds like it's a lot. Is it plain, or are you mixing it with like a dressing or something?

No, plain. I mean, it's like, so my main, here's my main thing. I make these chicken tacos that I'll basically have like all week long. And it's like a shredded taco-y type of chicken, Chipotle chicken type thing. I get out a tortilla. I cover that shit with sour cream.

Crush up Doritos. Sprinkle cover that shit with sour cream. Yeah crush up Doritos Sprinkle sprinkle Doritos in the sour cream Sprinkle the the shredded cheese on top of that rice chicken boom It's fire, but it's a lot it sounds right Actually want to make it's delicious But I bet if people and I would not expect people to put as much sour cream as I put on it because I'm a freak, but I feel like in general, if people heard sour cream, they'd be like, no, no, no, no.

But if you just have it, don't watch me put it on. I understand it doesn't look appealing, but just try it. The Doritos and the sour cream, ah! It sounds great. To me, it's almost like cream cheese. It sounds really good. It's crazy. That's what you're going home and cooking every night.

Yeah, yeah. And I'll have it for breakfast, I'll have it for lunch and dinner like three straight days. That's crazy. Yeah. The Doritos on top. Oh, it's crazy. Dude, just picturing you with a fistful of Doritos. No, no, no, no, even better than that.

So sometimes I like in the beginning I used to just get a handful of Doritos. I would put it in like a little Ziploc bag and crush it up that way. Got to the point where I was like I am not eating Doritos yeah yeah other than this so I just smashed the bag right now there's just a bag of Doritos from baseball practice and is You gotta like eat with a spoon bro. That would be so bad. That's crazy. He's gonna go on thinking that's how Doritos come.

They break these ones up! You guys got triangles? This is crazy! I feel like most people are totally disgusted by sour cream and I'm like AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH Sour cream I love but I had a there's like a fine line between enough and too much. Yeah Yeah, but I'm also very sensitive to like dairy. Yeah, that's a problem too I could eat dude I could do a gallon of milk a thing of sour cream and cheese and I'd be fine, dude Is this iron stomach is this a I feel like?

This is like younger people have a really hard time with their like I feel my age I'm like I'll fucking crush milk. I'll cry Yeah, I feel like I also I was raised though Like like were they not getting that as like little kids like we drank I drank milk my whole life growing up And I never realized he was destroying my stomach But it's like I mean everything like I definitely am allergic to gluten for sure really and do you pound gluten But it's like because it's like weird because it's like some things will like destroy me and some things

Yeah, what do you you shit and puke and stuff or like oh, no, I just shit I don't puke ever I'm actually I actually was in I wanted to google that the other night why some people shit more than puke Well, I feel like I feel like when you if you have like a Cuz I mean dude I get I get a stomachache every night to the point where I'm like I'm gonna throw up And I don't throw up puke more than shit like on a general basis. Yeah Oh, I know like I mean like like diarrhea Like you know, I like some people like they get the flu and there's there's throwing up. Yeah. Yeah, I don't get that ever

You're not a puker. No, I never do Cuz I like I can't hold it long enough to the point that it's gonna turn into a shit Genuinely like the worst like I like the other night I other night I ate like too much ice cream or some shit and I got like a super bad stomach ache. Like I was coming to puke. So I went to bed late in bed. And I didn't puke. And then I didn't eat, I think I shit like the next night.

Duper. No. I have a friend who like, you know, we're hanging out and all of a sudden you'll smell something and we're like, dude, you ate ice cream, didn't you? The whole friend group knows, like, Evan can't eat dairy. Dude, he did it again. He ate the dairy again. That's such a tough spot to be in where you're like, look, I don't care. Yeah, like, the disrespect that you're just gonna do this. We rent a house together, we're away for the weekend, like just don't eat the ice cream for a couple days. Nope. It's like in Home Alone, the kid's drinking the Pepsi, you know he's gonna piss the bet, he's like I don't give a fuck. That gluten shit's no joke man. No, gluten's bad. Yeah,

it fucks me up. But it's weird, cause like I could eat like a sand, like I could eat like a BLT and be completely fine. Like just like wheat bread that's yeah fine, but if I have like a like a chicken parm on like like a roll I'm fucked. You're done pizza, but I eat a ton of pizza like dairy and Fucking destroys, but I crush pizza Like all of pizza multiple times a week Cuz it's hard to just ignore It's hard to do ignore the fact that you're shitting and dying

You know what it is I went in fifth grade I went to private school for a year and There was a kid in our school. It was a small school like I think it was like 40 kids per grade something like that yeah and there was like the whole it was a elementary school I think the school went up to like eighth grade so everyone would eat lunch together and there was a kid that was glue he had a gluten allergy and he would eat these like gluten free checks mix but there was they were in a bowl and he would eat it like a dog. Like he would stick his face into the bowl. And for my whole life I was like,

that's what gluten intolerant people are like. So I was always like, I'm just gonna ignore this. I can't be a dog. Yeah. Doctors like, you got a gluten allergy, like you told me I gotta eat out of bowls like a dog? Yeah. No dude, you just can't a dog. Yeah. You tell doctors like you got a gluten allergy, like you tell me I gotta eat out of bowls like a dog? Yeah.

No dude, you just can't have bread. Yeah. Because I was like that guy's a fucking like freak. I'm like I don't want to be like that. And then I later on I realized I was like I know that kid that just was a freak. He's just a freak. Yeah. Wait, so let me ask you a question like

like with with significant others like Are they like stop eating that fucking pizza? Yeah, you're gonna blow this place up No, I'm not I never have had any really big issues with that I Haven't had any major like the only people that have ever been like mad at me for my Bow movements, I guess are my family like like growing up like my family like also like my dad He's acting way so he's a good trouble. It's good like yeah, like we would like yeah Like my Like no one would get like mad but like if I like when I was in like high school I would just like fart all the time

I had three sisters and they would get mad for sure, but also like my dad was my favorite Like something about the way you say shit so seriously My dad I mean my dad growing up like I have such like vivid met like even to this day It's like if he goes into the bathroom. It's like you're clear Dude that is a thing like when you you know you hear that like old man shits And I'm like I don't think I'm one of those guys, but I'm pretty sure my dad was 40. It was like that's dropping balls Am I just not aware that I am that guy I think I am believe yelling downstairs

what the fuck Peter what the hell flush that's like most of my childhood mom yelling at my dad for shitting. Yeah. Honestly, that's some good wholesome shit though. Yeah. Yeah. Man, that's fucking funny. Shit.

Back to mascots. So wait, you guys are doing your shooting in Washington Square Park? There's mascots down there? No. No, okay. So we got fired from Times Square in the show yes got it yeah okay Times Square there were they were everywhere and it is funny too because like when we were filming in Times Square it's like

obviously it was that was like the beginning so it's like their suits are like brand new yeah and then you're they're walking by the guys that are actually out there and their suits are like hanging on by a like there's like mud all over them for some reason. Where are you even finding mud? In Times Square. Yeah, you're in the middle of a concrete. How much do you think those guys could possibly make? We were trying to think about, I mean, it's gotta be, it's gotta be decent enough.

I mean, there was a homeless guy who lived around Fordham. His name was Braids. And the New York Post once did a profile on him, and he said he made six figures. He said he made a hundred thousand dollars just begging. Damn. And it was like, right next to a college campus, we saw him like every night,

I would throw him a couple of bucks, and if you multiply that by a few hundred kids, like a night, you know, I was like, it's feasible, but like, I can't imagine that, but I don't know, the Times Square thing is also like, you know, there's 50,000 Chinese tourists who go through there, like it's feasible but like I can't imagine that but I don't know the Times Square thing is also like You know, there's 50,000 Chinese eight tourists who go through there and it's like they'll all fucking throw you a buck Like I was gonna say for the Fordham guy like that was a time when cash was king. Yeah nowadays It's not but tourists are traveling money. So like maybe if that's who your your demo is

That was that I mean, I remember blogging like a, I was like working the Times Square beat almost when I was a blogger, because there was anti-Semitic's Elmo was a big thing. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Anti-Semitic Elmo was like, he got caught like throwing slurs at people, or like a swastika or something.

This was an Elmo in Times Square. Yeah, and it was like, again, the post was like writing about him. It was anti-Semitic Elmo was a thing. Was he going to Times Square to get his anti-Semitic takes off? I think he just was an Elmo. Let him slip. And he just started to let it fly.

But then there was turf wars. There's a whole world to that shit. I thought the Naked Cowboy is a fucking little business. But that's a little different than just being like a scumbag, like illegal immigrants, just like wearing an elbow hat. I thought I was more nervous about that to start. I thought there would be like little gangs and cliques and stuff like that.

And we were only there two days, I think three days. And it wasn't bad. They would yell at us, but it was in Spanish Doesn't count. Yeah, they would they would say something about putting on our heads. I think I mean, I guess if you think about it like the The way that goes those guys make money is if you take a photo with them You know people you're supposed to like tip them or pay them. Yeah, I mean if you think about how many people have asked you guys for photos, they probably are making decent money.

I mean, I don't think it's six figures, but I think they're probably making livable money. Right, which is great. It's so funny too, every time someone asks us, it's because when we're walking around, we're not always shooting, but we're always in costume, and people ask to take pictures, and I'm always like, ugh, I guess.

Yesterday, someone did it, and I was like, oh I guess yesterday someone did it and I was like How are you having attitude? And people are giving it to you Clearly a Prison of your own building fucking smile and take the picture I do get a kick out of like I'll see Tommy come to work and he's like got his like laptop bag and then like his This is just your work attire Someone asked him for a photo on the subway

When we're walking around with the helmets we have like all our stuff stuffed in them like they're essentially a purse We have like all our stuff stuffed in them like they're they're essentially a purse. They're like And when the person on the train asked Tommy take a picture he just didn't take any of the stuff Ever offered to pay you guys no Yeah, I think that's the awesome part of the gig is you those guys are so pushy that they'll be like yeah fucking money now Yeah, scaredy give it to him somebody I feel like recently you were talking about taking pictures and somebody Thought that you meant like taking pictures as you like a bar soul personality, and it was like no no no no They want they want You put the fucking head on

Big fan of the podcast who you are Oh, you're a big fan of the podcast? I don't know who you are. Put the fucking helmet on though. We have had some interesting people recognize us as fans. Very odd encounters. It's been only in Washington Square Park, which I don't know if it's because NYU's around there or what, but like, not the demographic at all. Really? Like, like, like, overweight, like middle-aged lesbians coming up being like I love barstool We I mean we had the one lady that came up and was like she's like I'm not hitting on you don't worry She said to someone yeah, I didn't I didn't hear that part. She's like I'm not hitting on you. Don't worry I'm a I'm actually like a lesbian as of recent

She's like she was like I have no tolerance for men and then she was like Dave is the fucking man It's like genuinely what happens. And we were like, what the fuck? And then yesterday, so I'm like, again, like a bigger lady, older lady walking by with like two Bergdorf Goodman bags. Was like, I love Barstool. Yeah. What?

That is wild. Did you see the guy that was like, Barstool ruined my life? Barstool ruined my life. Yeah, but then we really want to be asked about it, but we were just like, oh, I should be. Were you still there when he came up to us later? What? Were you still there when he came want to be asked about it, but we were just were you still there? When he came up to us later What were you still there when he came out to us? Oh, no, what he came back up to us

He he had I think he's now you kid and he like asked me and Tommy to do like a video where we like we tried A energy drink which was a weird thing like he didn't ask us any question He you know was like a ticktox type setup where he had a producer and but they didn't ask us any questions. He you know, it was like a ticktox type setup where he had a producer and But they didn't ask us any like questions. He's like you want to try this and and you guys did this I put my tongue in the hole and didn't try it. But Tommy drank it What are you just so he just like used you guys for like a promo basically? Yeah. Yeah and Huh, I could totally see you getting bullied Like hold this brand like endorse it yeah say that you use it, and tell people to go buy

it. Okay. No, Fides did do like a full, like he pretty much did a read after he drank it. It was like he could- Terms and conditions apply. Yeah. I watched it and I immediately was like, he just walked into like ad read mode. Like he drank it and he was like, like he was like 100% clean caffeine too. It's probably only available online. I swear you could ask Fidelberg to do anything he would just do it.

Why wouldn't I do it? It was funny too because he took a like it looked like Fidelberg drank the entire thing. Yeah I had my tongue tonic. And he didn't drink any of it, and Tommy actually drank the full thing. And Tommy started freaking out. Tommy was like, well, what did I just drink? But anyway, the reason I say that is because it was the same kid who came back. Some kid who had told Jackie and Megan they were pretending to be TikTokers,

and he was like, no, I don't do barstool, you guys canceled me, ruined my life. And then when he came back, he was like, Ainsley the old intern He mentioned her she mentioned him in a tick tock or something. I was like no one Yeah, that's crazy Have better sex with blue chew. I don't know if people get what I'm doing

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Professional monitoring plan and get your first month free. That's simply safe SIM PLI safe.com slash KFC radio There is no safe like simply safe. I just got a text right now saying that Dave's on CNN. Oh yeah? Yeah, interesting. It's funny how much uh... How much... Stock market plummeting will do that. It's funny how much people will use him and like other people in general They're just like

Look, look, everyone's turning on Trump and they'll have like a clip of Dave being like in the beginning being like, I voted for Trump and then it cuts to him today being like Trump's fucking ruining the economy right now And it's it's I don't know. It's just crazy that it's like I Yeah, you can change your mind or like, you know, I voted for someone and now they're doing something fucking insane To be fair. It is the thing. He said he was gonna do Just exactly what he said he was gonna do a lot that was a lot of- It's just exactly what he said he was gonna do. A lot of the videos I'm talking about were like, you know,

it's funny watching people freak out about exactly what he stood for and said he was gonna do. Yeah, you gotta give him credit. He just said what he was gonna do and he's doing it. People always wanted more action in Washington, but you fucking got it, dude. I feel like this is a win for the lesbian woman who likes oh I The I mean I obviously don't know anything about oh here you go Marshall founder on Trump terrorist stock market volatility He's always said he was like I'll go on yeah, and they just never invite me, but now I think they see their yeah, Pat's just watching Pat's just watching himself dunking all day

did you see that little like little blip on the internet with Hubs's girlfriend? No, I don't think so Hubs's girlfriend thought that Hubs could dunk and was like when did you first dunk? and he was like, what are you talking about? and then we kind of discovered that like girls everywhere

think that guys can just dunk I don't even know if I could touch I could probably touch the net Just saw a clip the other day of you guys when you were doing that like Crazy basketball thing whenever that was that was fun. You had your shaved head Like American History X If I ran into sassies looking like that I would not fuck with that Yeah, I thought about going back to the buzz recently, but I would never go that short again. Dude, Buzz life is so great though.

Dude, you shower and you get out of the- Oh, it's amazing. You get out of the shower and your hair is just- it's not wet at all. It's waterproof. Dude, I mean, I looked terrible with it looking back on it. It's crazy how much when you're in the moment of of something whether you're dressing looking whatever yeah you don't realize it but I I looked terrible with it but I used to love like oh eight to like ten or eleven yeah so when I first started Barstool I pretty much had like yeah

did you kid you buzz it like a lot like you kept buzzing yeah cuz I love that way feeling of like, nothing on your ears, nothing to comb. I was living with a bunch of guys who like, they just shaved their own heads and I was always the sucker going out to get a haircut. And I was like, you would a loser. And I was like, let me give this a whirl.

Who do you gain? And I was like, getting a haircut by a professional? But once I got that feeling of like, I was like, oh. I used to give it like a one, one time I went like really low though, like skin. That was what I did. That's why I fucked up.

Cause I did a one and it was like, it was good. I was like, oh, it actually doesn't look that bad. And then I was like, I gotta clean up the front. And I was using just some random fucking razor that we had. It was like Owens, he uses it to, cause he used to shave his head too. And I went back over like the front I was like I'm gonna clean up the front and it was at zero and so I had fucked like the and I didn't

Shave the rest of it. So just the front of my head was completely like like literally bald I don't know if I have photos on my phone But if I go back to like the old photos like when I write my first did it Like that like go to the one of the podcast that's what I mean I would not fuck with that guy got a swastika tattooed on his chest that was like days later that was like right after I did it but you look like Lex Luthor or some shit like a villain I think you look good I dude. I went fully bald. That picture's hilarious.

But that's a real picture of why you were mid-shaving? Yeah, but he got, obviously as you can see, is I fucked it up after that and it got way shorter. Last time I ever got a super cut. Yeah. Yeah. Did you ever shave your head fights? No, I think this is the year yeah I think so

you're gonna shave it yeah for for content or something or just for fun I've been flirting with it for years I think this is the shit to get off the pot year I either have to do or I have to stop talking about it yeah yeah I didn't really even know you're talking about it all the time I occasionally mention it like I'd like to shave my head one day for the look of her you ever shave your head past the look I shave my head every single day up until seventh grade Yeah, and after that start your shave your head. Yeah

No, I have like the lumpiest you've ever seen. Yeah. Yeah, it's like kind of like I when I was in kindergarten If for some reason when I was in kindergarten I like it was like my thing thing to wear 25 headbands at one point and then I got a really bad bald spot and then started squeezing my head in a weird way where I was binding my own head. So we had to stop. Oh wow, you got the gamer headset. Why were you doing that?

I don't know, I thought it was my style. You were legit wearing multiple headbands? Yeah, because I started with one and then some other girl started wearing headbands so I was like, fuck I'm going to and I just kind of built up you know one point legit how many were wearing it at one time it was because it was a pack of 25 and then I was literally wearing 25 I thought that was an exaggeration you were wearing 25 headbands like the thin headbands and so what when there's 25 of them that's got to be like

Like five would be like the max. Anything above that is crazy town. It was like a jarring amount. And everyone would ask me about it every day. But then I started liking the attention of it. So it just kept adding. And then I got a bald spot. Can you show me what we're talking about? Are you talking about like a plasticky one

that's like an arch or like a rubber, like a stretchy? Like a stretchy one, but they're thin then headbands is Like I say that your mom was never like like you weren't doing those things right those Like that probably a little thinner than that. Yeah, I remember when those kind of like became hot in the streets It was almost like a bra strap, but on your head. Yeah, yeah yeah, yeah, and you have 25 of those. Yeah, no wonder your heads of melon Like it was not worth it for the lumpiness a bald spot and a lumpy head and then your mom eventually was like you

Gotta stop this or you use like who put an end to this madness Well, yeah, like my whole family was like you have a like you look like your grandpa I had like the grandpa like bald spot. I was like that's fucking But I was like the only way to cover it up is like with more head Jackie turned her head into like a shotgun style house He's got normal looking on but if you turn to the side, it's fucking silly Well, there's I mean when you're a baby like there's definitely babies that never seen a baby who gets sucked out I've seen like the help like the babies and helmets

Well when you when you're giving birth sometimes like and there's problems to get out they put like a little like a little Plunger almost yeah kind of yeah, yeah, yeah, like stretches you yeah, so you're born with like a cone head cone head Yeah, and then the other helmets the helmets cracked me up There's like a permanent little like a hospital for like two weeks because my head was just massive really they said this kid is too big of a head Now like what size your hat I mean I wear an eight No, seven seven and three fourth. Yeah, this right the one right below an eight. Yeah, I got seven eights. Yeah Big ass head. That's a big miss

Put this hat on if this this is this is my stupid hand this wrong, but I just Just fits you this is me No Okay, you have a normal head. Yeah, you know what yeah, yeah, that looks just as silly as I feel like it looks on me Yeah, it looks big. I'm just wearing big hats on I used to I had a big head when I was young Too yeah huge. What are we talking? I my parents just always just tell me my head was massive when I was born But I don't think it was I didn't have to stay in the hospital

I wasn't hospitalized with a fat head Just can be dangerous like you might not ever like they had to make sure that it got a little bit So you know what I like just your stability One of the first like milestones don't look at your head up. Yeah, it's a lot of fucking weight on a little baby neck You know I was also I was born with like 12 fingers Yeah For real yeah, it's like a real thing they chopped them off. Yeah, they're not like actual fingers. They're little digits There's you have like scars. They're like, yeah. Yeah, you can see him

Yeah, so like if you They're like little just like no pretty much with a finger now, dude, my buddy's dog has them don't He calls him Henry the girl it's a dog girl dog, and her name's Henry, and he's like, oh, look at Henry's little jellies, because they just kind of hang. Yeah, they just hang. And I'm like, don't call them that. It's like when you do that thing with your pinky.

Yeah, yeah. No, it's literally like that. It's exactly like that. And- I would cut those off myself. Yeah. Like if a doctor, I would get some piano wire. I thought it was like funny at first,

and then my mom showed me- Oh wait, how, so you had them like- No, no, I got them removed right away. Oh, okay. So you saw the map No no I got them removed right away Oh okay My mom showed me like a photo of that Got it got it And uh yeah they were fucking disgusting Yeah

Nasty And dude if I like bang my Were they symmetrical? Kind of yeah In the same spot? Yeah if I like hit my finger hard here it fucking kills Well yeah cause it's like the phantom pain Yeah

Like this is where our digit used to be Yeah you can feel where it is Feel right here Oh my god Oh my god Pain where our digit used to be. Yeah, you could really you can feel where it is You there's a hole I think it's not that uncommon to be born with it. I think it's like... But it's definitely not normal. But like if they just let him grow... I don't think you would have massive inconvenience.

You're just banging him on things like you said. Like imagine, that hurts now. If you had a little nub and you would catch on like a door or something. Rip it off accidentally. What do you think, let's say you meet a fella. No, I can't. Yeah, 12 fingers. You meet a guy, six foot tall, six two,

great head of hair, great job, everything's all good. 12 fingers, nubs. Nah, 12 fingers is crazy. 12 fingers is crazy. But there's a chance if they okay so the nubs I think actually worse I would rather have another finger I think and then you just kind of like nobody can tell yeah I'd rather have four fingers than have six four fingers it's like oh yeah I got an accident like that's that what you have right there that black guy not to that extent not wasn't that big much smaller? Oh?

That's terrible thumb thing Four fingers versus six fingers see like that is that six fingers that doesn't look that crazy The nubs are crazy, but just like the extra finger there I can't imagine look at that look at that guy in the middle right there that kid looks normal no that one he looks normal Yeah, yeah true. Yeah, it also freaks me out when I see people with like deformed hands because I like my simulation theory it looks like yeah yeah it's like yeah it is kind of I got deformed hands probably that was a

personal in terms of like adaptation wiseuins, I just learned like they also like they eat rocks because they can't digest the food. And they also like huddle all winter because they're so cold. Like they just shouldn't be living there. It bothers me so much. They should just be like extinct. Yeah, like how about the dire wolves, by the way? Yeah, pretty cool. Yeah, I read about that. I didn't know dire wolves were real. Neither did I. I thought that was a Game of Thrones thing. Yeah, me too. I guess they're like not actually dire wolves. They're like genetically modified, like a dog. Genetically, it's genetically modified gray wolf.

Yeah. And they said domestic dogs, whatever that means. It was like a surrogate. Were surrogate, like they give birth. But they took a gray wolf and they tweaked it to be white. So it's like. This sounds like when like my buddy had a Siberian husky growing up. He's like, I have a wolf.

Yes, I know what you're saying, but they said they used DNA from a skull and a something else to like, whoa, make these things. Yeah, that's pretty legit. I mean, I feel like this is very very cool of Jurassic Park. Like scientifically, it's cool. cool, but I don't know. I imagine it's not going to be really wolf-like. They're the company doing, they wanted to do the wooly mammoth.

Remember, that's been the news the last few years. It's the same company. They're doing wooly mammoth, the dodo, Tasmanian tiger, and the dire wolf. They're four things. Hell yeah. It's a good year. They should have started with the wooly mammoth

That was that was that's they're like They made a always talking about bringing back the wooly man. Oh, they never fucking do it. I think it's hard It's like flying car go extinct. Oh, I actually feel like I was alive for this I remember the dodo going as I feel like I was alive too feel like that kind of been 2002 2003 I would have guessed 90s what do you think oh I've no fucking 1920s the 1600s really yeah oh I thought I was the opposite I thought the dodo went extinct like like thousands of years ago oh I thought like it was a phrase 2002 over here Like oh, it's like we talked about Dodo

But it's almost like the Bermuda Triangle and fucking yeah, but saying like you talked about it a lot as a kid I agree, but I never talked about them being alive. Did you I thought I thought it was the thing about the Dodo was that It's extinct. Oh But by the phrase I always said or at least the one that sticks condor something like that It's like I was thinking about the Dodo sticks... You're thinking like the condor or something like that. It's like birds that would extinct. No, I was thinking about the dodo. I was definitely thinking about dodo. Because like, I remember either saying or hearing a lot the phrase, it's going the way

of the dodo. Yes. I agree with all this. Which means it's going extinct. But I guess I just processed it as like, it is in the process of going extinct. I thought this was like the woolly mammoth, like dodos were around like 10,000 years ago and died it does look like a bird that like wouldn't make it yeah like it looks like a like a shitty like fat dorky bird yeah does like we're just gonna eat you real quick

flights you ever get you ever get impacted by the piping plovers in the dunes yeah yeah Westport mass yeah they would close the beaches in the summer because the piping plovers were there. There was some bird that was like threatened. It was like you couldn't go in the dunes, which sucked as a kid because all I wanted to do was go in the dunes. Well it got to a point like probably around 2010 where they were just closing the beaches in the summer because of these birds and people were so fucking mad. People were like threatening to go kill the birds. I don't want anything to go extinct.

You're ruining my beach time. We're gonna fucking wipe you out, dude. I paid like, you know, this is like my family vacation. I rented a house for a week and I can't go because of these fucking birds. Yeah. I just met somebody who like, he was saying his parents were allergic to dogs and cats

so they got doves And I was like why was that the next I would just go no no That's not the same Dog really different I'm a firm believer in You if you have any animal in your house other than a dog a cat and Like I guess I count you can have a

good aquarium you know fish yeah but legit I think other than that no yeah I'm a grab fully like you have any other rodents you're a freak I think if you have birds you're a freak if you have snakes forget about it what durable you get away I mean I guess I would give me a kid. Yeah, if you're an adult. That's like I have a hamster That's fucking crazy my fucking rat Like the ferret people yeah Totally trash like every time there's no normal people with a ferret I don't even really fuck with people in New York who have like big dogs. Yeah, that pisses me off I'm always like people are always walking down my street with like a husky to you're like dude

That dog is like you're torturing that actually though I feel like the big dogs are the ones that just like chill on the couch, right? Yeah, but like dogs like that want to be out in the cold. Yeah, and like run around They don't want to be in a fucking either in an apartment in New York that radiator is literally fire Either in an apartment in New York that a radiator is literally putting out fire Like this poor dog has to go like an elevator every day. Yeah, like that's not what a dog like I feel like there are entirely too many people who get dogs like it should not be if you were like single and

Living in a tiny apartment like that just should not be on the table for you right? Yeah, yeah Yeah, right. It's just like you know once you have a backyard a tiny apartment, like that just should not be on the table for you right now. Yeah, get a cat. Yeah, right? It's just like, you know, once you have a backyard, a house, some kids, like you're gonna go on walks, like then you can get a dog. There's people who are like, I'm out all the time, I'm working all the time, I party, like I can't provide for it, like I'm gonna get a dog?

What? Yeah. Yeah. It's not now. There's a lot of people that are rehousing their dogs. Right, right. That's gotta be the ultimate move of shame. I've done it.

You can't. Oh yeah? Does it feel bad? It feels pretty bad, yeah. Yeah. I'm sure. It is the right thing. It's better than being a bad owner,

but to be like, I cannot do this, take it away. I would never, yeah. I would let that thing go before I re-housed it. It got kicked to a dime, I don't know. move to FSU like my first year at FSU I didn't know anybody I was like you got a dog in college like like there should be shelters and and and puppy stores whatever they say you're just a solo college kid you're not allowed I had just driven down from Massachusetts to Florida I was there for like a week. I decided I'm gonna get a dog. I had the dog in an hour

I'll get you a dog and a gun by 2 p.m. I'm 17 years old just drove cross-country. Don't give me a dog Yeah And then I had a dog for like a week and it shit everywhere and it destroyed the apartment my roommate who I didn't Even know was like fuck you. You can't if this is it you can't have a dog No, this is Villa Cortez, this is the apartment I got robbed in Yeah Lucy no Lola was her name. Yeah, that's tough. Remember when Lena Dunham gave her dog back?

Yeah, it was like but she had it for like 10 years. Yeah, I had it really gone to her That's great. It was it was a crazy move, but people did like shame the fuck. Yeah I mean, but if you're also like if you're that like rich just get someone to take care That's what I thought was weird just from a PR point of view. Like don't take this hit just be like, yeah You you run you take care of this dog to a family member. Yeah And the dog Ten years old take care of it for 11 But it was

Die soon anyway She established, she's like, this is my dog. This thing's gonna die soon anyway. Yeah. Just let it happen with you, dude. Did you hear Burt's story when he came on KBS4 Radio last week? I don't think, oh, which one? Bro, he, that phrase is truly, it takes a lot,

I mean, we've been doing podcasts forever now, and we've had a lot of guests and heard a lot of stories. It takes a lot for me to be moved by something. He was like, we had a dog named, what was it, Alfalfa? Alf, Arfer. Arfer, Arfer. Arfer, he's like, we had a dog,, um, was it Alf Alf? Alf, uh, Arthur, Arthur, Arthur. He's like, we had a dog, Arthur. And he like explains a couple of things about it. And then he was just like, I'm pretty convinced that my dad killed that dog with a baseball bat. I lost it, dude. I did not expect the phrase killed that dog with a baseball

bat to come out of his mouth. He called his called his sister they were like yeah, there was this time that like he was hosing down the patio His hands were bloody Kill that dog killed a messy too There really is something like I I put up a fight. There really is something like I, I, I would consider myself a dog person until like the world was taken over by dogs. And I'm like, okay, you guys are freaks. You're absolute freaks. And there really is something that like switches a little bit, at least for me when I had kids where I was like, I like dogs, but like, yeah, it's like Tom Segura had that old bit about. Yes. And, and, and it

really kind of puts things in perspective once you make that switch where you're like, I don't know, man, whatever. It's just dog lives or dies. I don't know. I like him. I don't want any bad ass. I'm doing my way.

It's like, yeah, I'll survive. I'll be sad for a little bit, and then I'll get over it. I mean, I guess if you're one of those dog people who really means everything to you Duncan is you know up there in age now, I think he's 12 or something. Yeah, but he's like aging not so gracefully, you know, he's one of those dogs get like the lumps Oh, yeah I don't even like to pet you now It's like touching

Started liking him with Mazie. Really? Where I was like, I'd like to just grab him. No, no, it's got the lumps in it. He's got like a wart on his eye and his teeth are rotten and bad breath. It's like, oh, his head is weird shaped, got 25 headbands on. It's just like a, oh Duncan. My mom's always like, so, like she went to the vet and then she was like it's good news Yeah dogs like that live forever to

Like eight more years in it. Yeah I saw there was some something on Instagram that it was like the longest cat ever. I think it was 38 Damn, I should have it a that's same pet for 30 Years at least cats though like for 32 of those years, but I didn't see yeah It was just like you know hiding somewhere in the Atticus or shit If you haven't seen the trailer for warfare, it is out now. The movie is coming out this weekend. It looks awesome It's a 24. The movie is coming out this weekend. It looks awesome. It's 824. It's Alice Garland. Alice Garland, if you don't know him, Civil War, which you did with 824.

That one I actually didn't really like in theaters and have since really liked it at home. Alice Garland also did Ex Machina. A couple others, but he's unbelievable. He's great. But he and Iraq war veteran Ray Mendoza did warfare. Okay. It's a visceral boots on the ground story embeds the audience with Navy SEALs stationed in Iraq in an apartment building. Just trying to get out, trying to survive. If you like my movie recommendations, it is right up my alley. It looks awesome. It is in IMAX and theaters everywhere. April 11th. Get tickets now.

Great cast as well. I believe Michael Gandolfini's in it God there a couple of people But I forget but it's in theaters everywhere April 11th looks great looks like it just an awesome awesome war movie Which does feel weird to say To be entertained by it, but I am and it looks like it's gonna entertain me So go check it out in theaters now to be entertained by it, but I am, and it looks like it's gonna entertain me. So go check it out in theaters now, or in theaters April 11th.

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question for you wrap up can we do can we do a little tax talk? Tax talk? Yeah. Okay. Oh about you and your taxes? I just it's not even mine specifically why am I involved in this process? Yeah. Why am I why are you even talking to me? I'll play devil's advocate because I'm with you on this but I think it's like so they don't rob you. You know what I mean? Like they could theoretically if you were just like not involved at all. Yeah. But they do. I do a guy who- Every two weeks they take my fuck they take it. Why am I involved now? Well I- 51 weeks a year.

You don't talk to me about it. I do not understand when you owe or receive money. Why why get it, right? Yeah, here's how old here's my money. Here's my state. Here's my dependence Take the right amount out and don't fuck it up. Yes. Yeah, it's like why the whole tax return thing is a little bit We like I used to always get money. I was always like hey, it's tax season I'm gonna get like two grand I have this I don't know taxes this year first time ever But it's because I also had these guys tell me you have to pay like every couple months. I was paying Yeah, I did so it's like like installments. Yeah. Yeah, it's like you prepay or whatever and and so I'm like, oh, I don't owe money It's like well, you fucking paid it. Yeah, it's like why is it what comes out of my paycheck should just be it

Just take with a lot. Honestly God. I'm what I'm an easy tax person. I'm not a tax whiner. Just take what you fucking want Yeah, give me my money and we'll be done with it. I know a guy who one of my my uncle's like he I Think you can elect to not have any wages taken out and then you just pay everything at the end But he was like he managed his own money and like did all that shit So he was like I'd rather have all the money and I can invest it and do what I want with it And then I pay everything at the end, but you have to like stay on top of your shit You know yeah, so I think you're involved because you could do those sort of things if you want But for the average person who doesn't want any fucking problem. I don't want anything to do with this just fucking don't right

I didn't even know until like yesterday. I realized it was tax season and because my yeah my accountant fired me She just didn't call me this year We've had a tumultuous relationship. It hasn't been great much like all of John's female relationships She's outright didn't like me and like didn't respect me and like didn't and that's like I wouldn't want to talk to her because like she was gonna be mean to me. Do you think that it was kind of like a like you know like like dating though it's kind of like oh you don't want me like you don't you always want what you can't have sort of thing? Yeah. Like you did call her up last year like please take me back. I did last year I had to beg her like do you please take me she's like alright fine but you because you're a good

client but like don't be an asshole. I'm not an asshole Just tell me what you need for me Like this needs to be a better system well cuz in some countries don't they just they just send you a letter in the mail No, this is how much you owe Yeah, that's how it should be or don't even tell me just take it from me I'm trying if you are taking if you're garnishing wages for taxes Just get it right. Yeah, I know like complaining about taxes and anything original or new but like I don't get it You're not complaining about like like you're like I'm willing to pay

I like paying taxes. The mechanism that we use Yeah, John is the most pro tax guy. It's so fucking great. It's crazy that people are anti-tax It's it's not when you... If my money, if I felt like all my money was going to like schools and roads and like infrastructure but I don't think that's the case. No, it's not. There's a lot of people lying in their pockets. So fuck that!

70% is going to Medicaid, Social Security, Defense, and military spending. That's, or, there's- Right, but I'm saying even beyond that, I also then think that there are people putting money in pockets. I can afford dinner, so yeah, buy the kids some fucking books. You know what I mean?

Like, yeah, get it. Yeah, yeah. Like, what, sure, yeah, take some money, help the kids out, fucking build a park for them. Well, I'll say this, if we're gonna be doing this crazy tariff shit You better get rid of taxes. Yeah, that was the whole thing, right? It was like we're gonna like make The rest of the world pay for it. It's like well if I'm paying the taxes and the tariffs well now

Now what the fuck are we doing? Yeah, I don't know enough about that shit, but it's like you can't Just snap your fingers and put shit in place If there's no like factories and manufacturing in America yeah I do agree with the idea that like if America was self-sufficient and not relying upon China like that would be a good thing in order to do that you need manufacturing and distribution and all that shit in America you have to you have to be planning for this for like five years you start

building all the factories and shit now and then you do this you can't all these small businesses are like we can't do it yeah it's not possible they just said that that she was like three three times with that the cost of shoes was gonna triple because this shit from China I saw that like yeah didn't I think Nike moved a bunch of their shit to Vietnam and like Apple did you the plane? Five-way yeah, yeah, that's awesome any multiple planes just filled with iPhones We're not importing we're just flying them here Like that I mean you literally have like drug runners. They're just smuggling iPhones literally crazy, but anyway the taxes are

Last year I like fucked up my taxes where I was paying like California taxes and New York taxes and then it was like all of my money yeah I became like really Republican for like three days fuck this but then I realized then then I get my back which it's like when they come back with the actual number it's like it feels like a math equation that like I'm getting like a test that like I got something wrong like if you know the actual fucking number just tell me the number It's like there should just be you're in this bracket. It's this percentage I understand if you get like a bonus you make extra money at the end of the year all these other incomes But if it's just I have one job and there's the paycheck like get it fucking right to the my shit is fucked Is it? Yeah. Why is that?

Cause stand up you get 10, nine, nine. Right. So you're in every different state, right? I had to pay taxes in like 20 different states last year. Dude, that was- That's enough for me to just be like, I'm not doing this correctly. Mine got so fucked that it lasted until November.

And then I got an email when I was home for Thanksgiving from HR at Barstool saying that the IRS Contacted them and said to freeze spend my pay. Yeah Until I paid like a certain and then I paid it like on the spot Yeah, but it was like it was like there was a lot building up to that. It was I've always my thing is always like Like we will do a live show right? We get like 10 grand or something like that. I'm like, that's not enough for the IRS to care, is it? Right?

They will track down every fucking penny. Yeah. Bro, that's what, so again, in my taxes, I've been discovering, I learned what, like you turn into a Republican, you say, right? Like I know Republicans always talk about taxes, taxes, taxes. I learned, I looked at Trump's tax plan.

Do you know how much people are saving taxes? Like what the top 5% say? Oh yeah. They don't pay anything. What do you mean saving in taxes? Like not like, like so versus common is tax ban, but I believe, or at least the tax plan that was in place. So maybe it was, oh, is it the Biden's or commons? I'm not sure. But there's been for the top 5% or the top 4%, there's been one change. And then for the top 1%, there's been a change. The top 1% is saving 30 grand a year.

The top 4% after that saves 7,200. And I was like, wait, that's the fucking world, like... The richest people in the world are freaking out about 5 grand, 7 grand? What the fuck are we talking about? I know, but it's got to be more than... It's definitely more than that, it has to be. I feel like it's a lot of like capital gains. This is crazy that this is where we're at in the podcast.

Pull up Trump's tax plan real quick. What I don't like, like when I was talking about the tariffs, I was like- Go to, just go to images. I said something like, I'm not an expert here, but like this, you know, that idea. Oh, I have no idea what, I have no idea about any of this. But like that, 71.60 for the top like what is that on average or is that

a person that's got to be per cuz you know what it's it's when you have like a we're talking about annual savings of half a bet what most of this company does So if you're making 900 grand you save 30 grand. I Mean, I guess though when you start I don't make one. I don't know 9 million. I'm now saving you know fucking 100 yeah, but then why is For like looking for the next 4% where it's like so you think I don't know we're not gonna figure this out All I know is that rich people really fucking hate taxes, and I don't think it's cuz it's 30

I think that's like I thought we were talking about like hundreds of thousands of dollars Yeah, I think there's levels where you are making you know where it is that big of a difference the 1099 shit is like you get all of your so like I don't get taxed right you get everything up front I get everything yeah, and then at the end of the year you owe like what? What so much like if you were paying every two weeks. Yeah, every you know your paycheck I know, that's where you gotta like manage your shit or you can get in trouble. Oh yeah, big time.

Cause like, oh, I spent that on a car. It's like, well, you still owe that shit. Yeah, like I can't even imagine what like, like what I owe, like the big guys, like Bert. Dude, we have like a hundred million dollar year. Like it literally must be like, they owe like 20 million bucks right now. Yeah. I'm sure they are. they are sure there's some sort of difference

they pay like Cuban that we did that last year Cubans like I just wrote my check for 140 million dollars yeah he has a billion hundred million dollars right that I know but there I feel like there is still just some level once you've been rich for like 30 years maybe, but like if you went from poor to rich to then like rich to like mega rich, it's writing a check for a hundred million dollars that just goes away,

I think it still takes some adjusting to get used to. I'm sure it takes adjusting to get used to, but like don't you feel, you have to feel good about it. Where you're like, I made this much. I made this much, I'm so rich. I understand where you're coming from. I don't feel like people feel good about it To a bunch of corrupt politicians, yeah, but like I don't know like every time I pay taxes

I'm just like I probably went somewhere. You don't know where it's going. Like why are you assuming it's going somewhere evil? Yeah, you can just choose to believe what you want over the Even just million dollars. I'm gonna start asking some questions It's also when you when you hear that it's like our military budget was 21 trillion. Oh my god I know where that's coming from Guess what it's not us. It's not like it's 21 trillion dollars I bought a 9mm

That's definitely true I bought a 9mm like, what the fuck? That's definitely true. I would just, I just think this, getting in a little tariff war with China when they have all the factories and manufacturing seems like a bad idea. It's tough, yeah, it's tough. It's like, we're gonna charge you 100% of nothing

cause you don't pay anything for you. We're gonna charge you 80% on everything in your world. That doesn't sound like a good idea. I also, what I hate the most is like coming into this. I know he did run on like he said this, but like prior to Trump, no Republican, no normal Republican would say that part of their political ideology is 80% tariffs. Everybody would have been like, that's silly, that's stupid.

But now Trump decides to do it, and they just adopt it. They just automatically are cool with it. And you know what I mean? It's like, you can't question anything this guy does. Like, what would it take for somebody to be like, this is a bad idea? Yeah, I agree with that. Because it's like, if you can't question this,

like at least question, I don't know if this is a good idea. Maybe it works out, but right now it's a little precarious. Probably not a good idea to charge China 80%. And you're like, oh, you don't know this is a good idea maybe maybe it works out but right now it's a little precarious probably not a good idea to charge China 80% and you're like oh you don't know what you're fucking talking about I think that's a pretty basic idea to say this might be a bad idea yeah it's kind of like just the dick riders on both sides right and they want and put it this way if it was flipped if Kamala came up with this the Republicans would think this is fucking crazy yeah yeah so it's like yeah you know how about you just look at actually what's

happening but this is like completely off topic but I mean it's like, yeah, you know, how about you just look at actually what's happening but This is like completely off topic but I mean it's just about like Republicans one thing that I think about once a week that I cringe at is I was in Vegas with like College people and I always mess up open carry and like open kid like being able to I was like around everyone I was like, is it open carry? And they're like, no, I was like fuck I was like around everyone. I was like, is it open carry? And they're like, no, I was like fuck So weird around me after that and then I like didn't realize and then later I was like pretty much I was like Somewhere that's open carry being from somewhere that isn't open carry is wild. It's why?

In Austin, which is at this point like, you know, like a cookie cutter hipster city Yeah, but there are still signs that are like, you know, don't brandish your firearm words like that It's just a sign in your store One of my friends that moved out there got a gun and he said it what he said No joke was easier than getting an iPhone Out of the store in like 15 minutes Did you see that guy the viral video the dude who got in a fight on the boat Which one this kid on the boat and he's spraying them No, it was like it was after they're on the boat and this guy went like whizzing by really fast

Yeah, and they were arguing afterwards and this guy was he was the biggest hard. It was unbelievable He was like I'm on the water 300 days a year. I am the best charter captain You could even fathom yeah, and then he ended up They pulled the boat up close and he stepped onto this guy's kids boat. The kids like dude. I'm a kid I'm a kid like I'm sorry and this guy is screaming at him. And the internet was saying like, this is technically an act of piracy. You illegally ordered someone's. So he's facing felony charges, all this shit.

But my point being, there was a lot of people reacting to me like, oh, I wish this would happen to me. Like I long for like the opportunity for someone to do this. Cause like they would, you know, on the other end of my fucking blah, blah, blah gun. And I'm like, you long for the day to shoot somebody? Yeah, yeah. That's what I'm like. They're like, like I just you know I how come this doesn't happen to me like I

wish this would happen to me so I could kill someone. What? I just want to be able to just finally kill someone. What the fuck is wrong with that? You know like soldiers going to war like this sucks I have to kill somebody. I always think about that. You're on the boat in Austin being like man I'm about to kill someone. I hope someone b boards my ship illegally. Yeah, I always think about that with like the, like, I'm not, I'm not like a really pro or anti gun, but the people that are online that are like, like they fantasize about like home invasion. Yeah. And they'll like, they'll post a video of them shooting like a fucking 500 Smith and Weston Mac,

like the strongest fucking gun you've ever seen. It shoots bullets like this big. And they'll show a video of someone like blowing up a watermelon with it and be like, good luck trying to escape my house with this thing coming at your back. And it's like, realistically, it's like, dude, if someone broke into your house, you bring out that gun.

It's obviously, it's good to have the gun. But like, you're probably not gonna need to blow up that guy's fucking head. Like you probably could just call the cops and be like, Hey, the guy ran out of my house when he saw my gun. He's running down this street. Yeah. It's probably not going to be the best thing when that guy's brains are splattered all over your living room. Your kids come downstairs and there's a headless body. And you're like, well, he was in our house, kids. Well, they're still scarred for life. Yeah, dude, most of those guns,

like I've watched those videos sometimes, most of those guns outside of like a nine millimeter or like a 10 millimeter bullet, like your head will explode. Explode. Like a close range in a house. Like they won't even know who the person was. They'll have to be like,

did he have his wallet on him? Yeah. Like, like, like if you shoot someone with one of those guns, like it's not going to be a fun scenario. It's going to be like, we're going to have to go stay in the Marriott down the street for the next six months. Because there's going to be a full investigation as to why this guy's eyes 20 feet away from his body. I want SASS. I need SASS to get on like Rogan. I want to see SASS go do the, you know when when Rogan takes those guys to the technical, the tactical gun range and they hit them. I want to see SASS like that. Goggles on, hitting all the fucking targets, you and Rogan chopping it up. I've been to gun ranges, Like I've been to, we went to one in,

me and Mook went to one in Phoenix. This was years ago, it was fucking hilarious. Cause we had, neither of us had ever been shooting and Mook had never even like used like an airsoft gun before. Which I was shocked at how similar it is. Really? Like I had airsoft guns growing up and it's like, dude, it's the same thing.

Take the magazine out the same way and you load it the exact same way and we've been teaching you this since you were a kid yeah I remember using it sorry go no you go yeah the I was ever using an airsoft gun as a kid at my friend's house yeah where we were in his bedroom second floor shooting across a pool trying to hit a coke can and his dad was laying into me oh yeah being like can't even shoot I'm fighting over here I'm pretty sure this is like a Bob Lee swagger shot I've never held a gun before

you're like controlling your breath and shit like dude like across the whole backyard like changing levels we're talking about coke can not a fucking target golf, sex and guns three things that guys think they're just gonna be able to do Seen porn I've watched golf. I've seen movies. I can fuck play golf Yeah, I don't know I went to a gun range once. I don't think I hit the fucking paper Oh, yeah, I've ever been like pow pow pow pow and I was like, I don't think there's any holes

Being able to shoot a gun and knowing how to like load a gun properly I will say there is it's part of it that you're like, this is you're like, yeah No, I don't I knowing how to like load a gun properly. I will say there is You're like, yeah, I don't I know how to do this. Yeah If I was watching somebody else fumble around with it, yeah Yeah, you're a pussy. Yeah, it is pretty sick. But also it is like Like I don't have any interest really in going to a gun range More than like once every day because it's like it is every time've been, there's been a situation where I've looked like a total fucking idiot. And then those guys are like, it's like walking into like, like a skate shop and there's like

a fucking teenager. Like a poser. Yeah. It's like that. Like we showed up, me and Mook and we were like, we never shot a gun. And they were like, well, what do you want to shoot? And we were like, well, what's good for someone who's's and they were like, I don't know an ar-15 and we were like

Yeah, maybe something smaller than that. I don't know But every little lady gun But then I shot in denver, uh last year and we were shooting we were shooting a 9 millimeter Then we shot an ak-47 which was sick, but the 9 millimeter it's like you're like I was up and I was lining up to shoot it and I was holding it with my my thumbs crossed like this and I'm like lined up about to shoot and the guy comes over and like Removes the gun from my hands and he's like if you shot that bullet you would have lost your thumb

Oh, and I was like, well, maybe step in like Cuz I was lining up with that gun for like 30 seconds straight and he didn't say anything. But I guess the way I was holding it was like the, the slide was gonna come back and then it would have like pinched my thumb and just like ripped it off. I don't know if it would have been that bad.

He made it seem like it was gonna be really bad. I also feel like, I remember there was guys next to us in like the next lane or whatever you call it that were shooting like Automatic weapons and I was like these guys just turned You know and then I started I remember talking to my friends I was like what if these guys are anti-gun nuts, and they just want to prove how easy it is Yeah, that could happen. Yeah, just turn around kill us all and then we're all in the news And they're you know and they were like dude, would you stop? And then they got the fucking guy in the range who's supposed to I guess be there in case that happens

Yeah, ready, but it's like he has a pistol and they all have the biggest guns. Yeah Yeah, I think they're gonna win. Yeah in Phoenix. Yeah, I mean in Arizona you can shoot you could shoot a fucking rocket That was the same thing I was thinking about that the whole time We're shooting a pistol the guy at the range has a pistol the guy next to us had a sawed-off a head Every time he shot it the entire building shook Clearly that guy's winning the fight My dad would take me when I was like, dude, clearly that guy's winning the fight if the shame goes down. My dad would take me when I was 16. You're not allowed to go.

And I remember I would post about it and think it was so cool. And I cringed thinking about that. You had it on the IG? What? Yeah, I had it on the IG. Anytime, especially when it is a chick, they've got the headset on. And they're like, just the goggles.

Yeah, I look cool for sure. That was MOOC. MOOC was like like I literally was like I at one point I think I had to like wrap my arms around him to like show him how to hold the gun Because that was in the later and do the thing with the It was literally like that and then the thing it was and he was in Denver He was in Denver when we went and I was like you want to come and he was like not at all I Would just go home before I ever yeah. Yeah, let you you know do the teach you how to putt. Yeah All right last thing before you go on do we resolve the son of a boy dad kettlebell issue? Oh, yeah

Yeah, we had Ronan talking about that that was the kettlebell is here The problem with the kettlebell now is that we can't even have it on the desk because the cameras focus in on Joe Rogan's face So we just don't it's there's no use for it. It's just turned around. It's just a normal kettlebell now Like we were recording the other day and I went I was like why is the kettlebell and I turned it around and Then Owen came over and just turned it right back. Oh, good. It's like he's like the cameras focus in on it. We're all blurry so Which makes sense because it's like if it was this table it's front and center. It looks like every single camera How is Boyd are you guys gonna do like live shows or any of that shit? I don't know I always like to do live shows within New York. Yeah I don't know

I don't really have a ton of interest in traveling for life especially because we all travel so it's tough But like in New York is always fun. And then obviously Rhone's gonna be gone For a couple weeks right with the kids. So We banked a shit ton of episodes that The next couple of weeks are gonna be. Are you done? Smooth sailing. Yeah. I've always thought about like, like part of me,

even every now and then it'll be like, we record both episodes on like Monday and I'm like, we're done for the week. Yeah. So I'm like, why don't we did that for like the month. Yeah. Yeah. But it's also.

Well people do that. That's what like the Comtown guys used to do. They used to go and go to a cabin and bank episodes for the entire summer and then just not record the whole thing. The only thing about that, I mean you got to be really good, really funny, have a really loyal audience that like you're not talking about anything topical or if you are it's completely dated. Yeah. People don't care about that. Yeah, that's our problem is that we talk about topical shit all the time. Yeah, we banked episodes a couple months ago and we made a joke about Trump getting assassinated.

And then that weekend, Trump got shot in the face. And we had to re-record the episode. Wow. That's crazy. Well, all right, it's doing well. It's good shit. And I'm sure Lame Mascot's gonna be awesome. So go follow Sass, check out some of the boy dad,

get ready for Mascot's, and we'll. Thank you guys for dad. Get ready for mascots. I will see you next time sweet I'm going to be using a So I'm going to be using a Thanks for watching!