KFC Radio - Squid Games and Shaq is Done with Fame

Episode Date: September 30, 2021

Subscribe, Rate, Share, and Leave a Review! Subscribe to our youtube: barstool.link/KFCRADIO - KFC Roasts Feits' fit - Who is the ugly guy from 98 Degrees? - both KFC and Feits are convinced they have alzheimer's - Shaq has retired from begin a celebrity - KFC's Tax problems - Adriana Checkich scene - Dont breath 2 - Squid games - Am I the asshole - guy won't stop wearing his favorite pants - girlfriend asked for a g*n to her head in bed Voicemails: - Dodgeball - worst yard sign? +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ 00:00 - Intro 01:08 - John’s Fit 04:02 - 98 Degrees 16:48 - Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson 27:43 - Alzheimers 33:12 - Shaq Retires from being a celeb 40:35 - Everyone a celebrity 49:53 - ATI App 56:51 - KFC has more tax issues 01:01:47 - Adriana Checkich scene 01:07:31 - Don’t Breathe 2 01:14:52 - Squid Game 01:20:09 - AITA 01:38:38 - Voicemails +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Let us know what you think on Twitter: @KFCRadio @KFCBarstool @Feitsbarstool @JNics415 @nickhammy5 @Joshua__DM @macczack21 @mikeypavssYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Where does this end? It ends with you dead and me in jail? Absolutely. But I'm at least going to try it. It's another edition of KFC Radio on the Barstool Sports Network. Feidelberg just got waxed 7-0 in rock

paper scissors. Two game sets each. So he lost 14 straight rock, paper, scissors. 14 of 15. Well, you tied. You didn't win any. No, I won the very first one. It was a three-game series. So you won the first one, and then it was 14 straight after that.

14 of 15. You fucking loser. It's nuts. That is nuts. This day for John? It's nuts. That is nuts. This day for John. It's been going great so far. I've had a marvelous day. Well, I mean, I guess that's saying a lot.

Because you got absolutely obliterated. And you are the laughing stock of the office because of this outfit. I think I don't know. Go on and have a great day. I look nice! I mean, go watch on YouTube, folks. Like this man, his head

is now through the roof. I'm just trying to make sure you can see the whole thing. I think I look nice! No, I know you do. I know you think you look nice. Uh, how about this? Zach, who's gay, said, he said, he said this is continuing the trend that John can wear whatever he wants and make it look good.

So, that's the thing. I think there's a difference between pulling something off and looking good. Fucking Gollum. I think you, if I were to wear that, I would be literally laughed out of the building.

I would have to go home and change. You do, like, pull it off where it's like, I don't know, that's just John. He wears, like, pull it off where it's like, I don't know, that's just John. He wears, like, fashionable shit. He looks like a fucking skateboarder, like, hippie homeless man. Homeless. Yeah, homeless. Mostly homeless.

It's just a homeless look. Hang on, I'm not wearing the full thing. I don't think you saw what I wore when I came in. What more can we add to the ensemble here? I think it really ties it together for me. That rug really tied the room together. I just... It might be a rug.

I just can't imagine putting on that outfit in the daytime, in the morning, and being like, here we go. I'm going to tackle this day. And now I'm talking, you know, I'm just a guy who wears like hoodies and jeans and fucking, you know, joggers and sweatpants and hoodies. I'm never going to be, no one's ever going to be calling me on the cutting edge of fashion. And that's what he wants to do.

And that's what he does. But when the cutting edge of fashion are just gigantic corduroy pants, like enormous corduroy pants. Like, enormous corduroy pants. Someone said, give Frank his shorts back. That's how big these fucking pants are. They look like Frank Fleming's shorts. They look like someone took, like, rolls of material.

Like, they took the drapes off of their fucking window. No, that's nice. That actually makes it look better because it covers up your dumb shirt. Ties the whole thing together, bitch. No, no, it hides your homeless person shirt is what it does but it all it also is so wide and boxy that it makes you just look like a fat square homeless person homeless person who's eating good and i but you are a paradox because i don't know why oh and also

your hair just looks like we said you look like a reject member of 98 Degrees. I was in the band. You were in the band and then like failed to transition into anything else of success. So now you just. I'm the guy. You're Nick Lachey's brother, right? No, no, the other guy. The bald guy.

Yeah. The guy who like, he didn't even work out for the album cover. It's just him and a black wife be like, Steve Lawrence. That guy. They're like, Steve, not even a curl, huh? Can you find me that guy's name? Shout out to that guy who I think was like, almost like a social experiment,

Marshall Henderson style, where he was like, these guys don't even know how to find it because they're like, who the fuck are they talking about? Yeah. They got the youths over there being like, 98 what?

Who? Drew Lachey? Yeah. No. That's the brother. All right. If you put ugly guy from fucking 98 Degrees. Justin Jeffrey, Jeff Timmons, and then the Lachey brothers.

It's not a Lachey brother. Because they're hot. Justin Jeffrey. I think that that guy was. Jonathan Littman. Justin Jeffrey. It doesn I think that that guy was... Jonathan Litman. Justin Daphne. It doesn't matter. We threw out like five different names.

That guy I think was showing up to work, quote unquote, showing up to work every day for 98 Degrees being like, I can't believe they're letting me in this fucking band. I can't believe I'm in this blind boy band. This is unbelievable. Like Backstreet Boys at that point were on top of the world. Justin Timberlake was on the precipice of superstardom. And that guy, look at that fucking guy.

Oh, he's not bald. He just had bleached hair. And that dude was like, I'm in a boy band? Look at him. He did put on the shirt, though. He did put on a beater Like 98 degrees Would go to the pool

And he would swim With his t-shirt on And that guy He was like I guess I'll just get He showed up They've been planning This album

For fucking Years And he's like Hang on You guys will lift away Like We need shirtless Album cover

Nick Lachey was probably like Bro you didn't do a single sit-up. I don't think my email has been working. No one mentioned a shirtless album cover here. Look at him with that terrible hairline, the fat face. I'm sorry. I don't mean to knock this guy because deep down, this is actually an appreciation segment because I love the fact.

It's way deep. It's a real deep cut. You set up an oil rig, you can find it. Like he did the impossible. He was in these boy bands. If you weren't around for boy bands, you don't understand. They were a phenomenon, man. They were a sexual music revolution.

The whole world wanted to fuck a bunch of 16-year-old boys for a decade. For a long, like forever. Let me explain the 90s to you. There it is. Grown women wanted to fuck young boys openly for a decade. And the young boys were leaning into it. Like there was always hot women in music. You got Madonna and Mariah Carey and these sex icon women.

But then all of a sudden, the boys took back the power. But back then with the young women, even in the 90s, men had learned how to be perverts. Men would say, ooh, she's going to be a problem when she grows up. Right. Women were just like, I'm going to let that guy stick. Women were like, let me see Justin Timberlake's cock right now. You had moms of the actual targeted age group being like, I'm going to fuck my daughter's favorite singer.

I'm going to go to the concert with you. We're going backstage, and I'm going to leave you out there while I go fuck Chris Kirkpatrick. There were people named Martha laying in bed with her husband saying, if I had a hall pass, it would be that 15-year-old boy down in Orlando, I think. But, like, all the bands had one ugly guy. There was Howie. Howie wasn't ugly.

No, no, AJ. No, you did someone. Give me AJ from Backstreet Boys. AJ McLean. So Clem's wife. I don't know his last name. Well, you need to know his last name because I fucking know what I'm talking about. Howie, AJ was.

This dude's not ugly. He was like kind of the. Hey, this is Dancing with the Stars. This is different. We're talking 90s. These also. Hang on. Every boy band had a guy in the band who were like,

you're like, is he a security guard? Is he one of their dads? Like, how does it make any sense? AJ was that one of the Backstreet Boys, I think. It was just like, it was a bunch of 15-year-olds, and then it was like, why is there a 40-year-old in the band? Yeah. Right.

What's he do? He was a problem. Did he just drive them everywhere? They also had Kevin Federline in Backstreet Boys. Also a handsome man. Kevin, Kevin, not Federline. His name's Kevin. It's just Backstreet Boys Kevin. Maybe Kevin Richardson. Something like that.

You're giving, you know, really, we're being liberal here. We're being pretty liberal. I mean, that's a handsome gentleman as well. Well, I mean, yes. Again, you gotta understand, we're talking like sex icons, though. Yeah, Brian Lut this guy's jawline. Yeah, Brian Luttrell's jawline could

really do some damage. What the fuck? Brian Luttrell's jawline looks like a... You could perform surgery with his face. That was weird almost. Yeah, there's

sunken cheeks. That looks ridiculous. Yeah, that was... That's how they kept the 15-year-olds going. It was a lot of cocaine. Then over on NSYNC, you had famously Chris Kirkpatrick,

who was the one with the hair that looked like the end of a devil stick. Remember those things? The end of a devil stick. Remember the devil sticks? Oh, yes. The devil stick. Yes, yes. Okay.

And so he was the NSYNC member that was like, how the fuck did this guy get a job as a fucking, again, sex icon. It was just like he was the guy who delivered food to them in the booth. Yeah, it must have been. They became so friendly. They're like, you want to be in the band? You can dance, right? Come on, man. And then there was 98 Degrees, which in general was a knockoff. It was NSYNC and Backstreet Boys. And then there was 98 Degrees, which in general was a knockoff.

Like, it was NSYNC and Backstreet Boys. And then along came 98 Degrees. And then there was, like, O-Town and all that shit. But those were the two. Ashley Parker Angel, what's up, brother? But 98 Degrees was for sure. Your knowledge is impressing me right now. This was the golden era, dude.

98 Degrees was Nick Lachey and his brother. And then I think, like, they're two buddies. Yeah. And I think, you know what I think happened? You know what a legit thing happened? I think Nick Lachey and his brother, and then I think they're two buddies. Yeah. And I think... You know what I think happened? You know what I legit think happened? I think Nick Lachey was the goods, right? He was the star.

He was the bread. I think he should have just been like, I'm Nick Lachey, the pop star. But I think it was like, I got to bring my brother along for the ride, but we're going to be like a brother duo? That doesn't work. Let's get Johnny and Joey,

and we'll be a fucking band. What was his name? Justin, the other guy? Like, Justin? So the Lachey brothers were born and raised in Ohio. Yeah. They're actually normal cats, by the way. I really like the Lachey brothers.

I would love to talk to Nick Lachey. Nick, come on the show. He's just like, he loves sports and beer. He wanted to just, like, marry Jessica Simpson, have a hot wife. And then I think he just needed to be like, well, we need to be a band. So we can't just be like. Jonathan Whitman? I think it's Justin Jeffrey.

I think it's Justin Jeffrey. It is astounding how much we're struggling to find the name of the band. It's like there's got to be one way to find out the name of this guy. The guy in 90 Degrees who wears a shirt all the time. What's his name? This is crazy, guys. It's Justin. I'm going with Justin Jeffers. We got a crack staff of three

people here with three computers and we just can't get a couple names? It's Jonathan Whitman, right? I don't know. You guys have the computer. Jeff Timmons. This Wikipedia doesn't have a photo? Why? Yeah, these guys don't even have their own page, huh?

That's pretty bad. God, no. Justin. John Lippman, for me, comes up as an author. Okay? So, the point of this all is, is that that dude to 98 Degrees looks exactly like someone who was raised in Youngstown, Ohio. Right. Like, the Lachey brothers were like, we're blowing out of this town. We're going to Hollywood.

And that guy happened to be hitchhiking that day. I think. Let's go. Jump in the car, bro. So, yeah, we're talking Justin Jeffrey. There we go. Justin Jeffrey. Well done.

Justin Jeffrey was like. Nick, your guy's not even in the band. Yeah, it says past members. You said he was a past member. They're all past members. It's the only past member. The band's broken up at this point. Nick Lachey's a past member.

Bro, Justin Jeffrey was like, he like dealt them weed and fucking oxy or some shit. And he was like, come on. You're in the band now, bud. They are – now that I'm thinking about it, I really would love to talk to all of them because they were – it's like a spoof that worked. Like they're not boy band material. I don't think they really knew how to dance. I don't think they ever actually did like intricate dances. I think they were always just the kind of guys like snap

and move your feet. Like, yeah, whatever. Nick was clearly the hot guy. He was the superstar. And the rest of them just have no fucking business being these sexy crooning. No, bro. No. Bro, 98 Degrees had some heaties.

I know, but they shouldn't have but they but they just did like you i think you're saying they shouldn't have been the sex icons that they were which i agree with you just the songs were good you yes that's fine but it was just by the nature of like if you're four guys who make songs where you're singing about like fucking girls and being in love and stuff you're gonna be to be in a boy band. Oh, good question here. By the way. You photoshopped me into this video. Who looks the most ridiculous?

I was going to say, let me compare their pants to your pants right now. It's about the same fucking size. Look at that. Pause, pause, pause. Look at that. That fucking sweater, the V-neck sweater with the backwards hat. Red and orange. And this guy, how about him?

He shows up to the video shoot just wearing like a polo shirt. You know, just like, I'm wearing my best polo my mom laid out for me last night. You know, you'd love to talk to them. I'd love to talk to a wardrobe advisor just from any time in the 90s. And Justin's only wearing sunglasses inside because he actually needs glasses.

And they just didn't want to have to be like, yeah, he's 50 years old. Just give him sunglasses. We'll pretend he's cool, not blind. Let's go through a couple more looks here.

These fits are... I can't believe this was the best they... No, just go through the rest of this video. It's fine. The fact that these were the video outfits. Wait, wait, wait. Also, you're going to have to type in 90 degrees. Because I forgot about the music video that's all shot in a boxing ring. God!

Right there, yeah. The hardest thing. Oh, yeah. Turn this bitch up. Oh, yeah. You can't. But whatever. I want to listen to it.

Got some strippers up in the mix man Nick Lachey is like a Cinderella man boxer We got the leather jackets on the billboard Leather blazer coming back by the way You'll catch me in one this fall We're going to talk about fashion Look at that the turtleneck sweater

The ribbed turtleneck sweater That was just an emaciated man jumping rope I mean these these guys. I'm learning now that it's not that boy bands were jacked. It's that I was five. It's not like, oh shit, they were all in such good shape. It was just like, no, they're just adults. Yeah.

And you were a child. Yeah. I mean, we got cargo pants and we got lugs boots chains that looks like you have that store structure that's who i remember that they just wear everything like like long sleeve crewnecks that the sleeves were just too long like everything was just like down to here for some reason big baggy pants one of my favorite facebook comments of all time, a buddy of mine posted a picture of him,

I don't know, flexing or whatever, and this is in college, senior year of college. Maybe even after that. Maybe even early 20s when we were still using Facebook a little bit. And he was only in a pair of structure boxers. And he thought he looked good. And someone just commented, bro, structure went out of business in 97.

Or something like that, whatever year it was. It was like 10-year-old boxers, dude. And then it just got destroyed. It was one of those things where you're getting so destroyed you can't even take it down. Right, because then, yeah,

you just got to wear it. Because then everyone just comments on all your other pictures about it. Yo, but this, like, I mean, you're right, whether or not, put your preferences aside, they all do this thing, though, where mean, you're right, like, whether or not, put your music, your preferences aside, they all do this thing, though, where they all just walk around in

the background. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They don't dance. They just walk around while one of them's in the foreground singing. It's not you're a hype man. It's your lioness. Everyone else in the band is a lioness. We eventually graduated the hype man.

Everyone else is just walking around like sad boys in the background. This is some good sad boy shit. Heads down, kicking sand. Not my turn to sing yet. This is where Jessica came in, I guess, huh? Yeah, because this is what happened. Nick Lachey bagged, like, I think the hottest chick of that era. It was always Britney and Christina.

And then Jessica came along, and I was like, yo, that's the hottest girl of the fucking bunch. And they became the It couple. Don't even get me started on Newlyweds, the original reality TV show couple. You know what Jessica Simpson and Newlyweds is? Oh, exactly. That's our Jessica Simpson and Newlyweds. Do you know anything about Newlyweds?

Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey just had a reality show where they just lived their lives, and Jessica Simpson would just say ridiculous shit all day long. Like she asked – she got confused with tuna fish. She didn't know if it was tuna fish – if tuna fish was fish or chicken because the brand was called Chicken of the Sea, and she was like, am I eating chicken or tuna? And Nick Lachey was sitting in his living room, and he was like, he's looking at her.

It's actually very funny knowing, unfortunately, they end up getting divorced. They're sitting there just eating tuna fish out of a bowl, which, again, is some pretty normal people's shit. They never should have been famous. And she's like, am I eating fish or chicken? And he just looks at her like, my wife is so fucking stupid. And he kind of pauses for a long time chicken and he just looks at her like my wife is so fucking stupid and he kind of pauses for a long time and he's like what are you asking me right now like like

like are you fucking is this a real fucking question can you pull the clip up where's the remote we turn up the sound I knew the pause he like I think he like puts down his fork and he's like you don't know if this is fish like Like, what the fuck is wrong with you? The buffalo wing one. The buffalo wings is amazing too. She doesn't know if she's eating chicken or buffaloes, right? Is this chicken what I have or is this fish? I know it's tuna, but it says chicken.

And he's just looking at her like That's stupid. He doesn't What He just shakes his head like I've had tuna fish Like sandwiches and stuff like this You and I have eaten tuna like this before Why is it called chicken

By the sea or in the sea? Chicken of the sea is the brand. She still doesn't get it. You know, because a lot of people eat tuna. It's like a lot of people eat chicken. It's like chicken of the sea. I understand that. I read it wrong.

And he just, like, wants to watch the fucking game and he's just like he's sitting there like how much the camera panned around like the Browns are down 60 to nothing and you know

he's just sitting there like I mean I know I marry you for your looks but like how much stupidity can I tolerate how much more

can we get the buffalo wings that was another one that's the same sort of thing right she doesn't know if she's eating buffalo or chicken? Yeah. She's like, where are their wings at?

Yeah, she's like, their wings are so small or some shit like that. Yeah, you hear him be like, babe, come on. What? Huh? Why are they on buffalo wings? Babe, because of what? That's a Jesus Christ. But here's the deal

I didn't know Like it's also crazy How young they were In this Like they're probably Early 20s Yeah they're babies Like I don't know

That I knew at 22 Why buffalo wings Are called buffalo wings That might be true But I just thought I do buffalo sauce With the hot sauce I did not know

It was invented In Buffalo New York That's fine I knew it was chicken That's what I mean It's one thing to be like Oh I didn't know It was the state Or like the city But I knew it was chicken. That's what I mean. It's one thing to be like, oh, I didn't know it was the state or the city, but to think it was like the animal is pretty fucking dumb.

That is one of those things my brain refuses to retain, like buffalo sauce was a myth in Buffalo. Every time I hear it, I'm like, oh, yeah, that's right. If you ask me outright, I could probably tell you, but it's not something I think about when eating buffalo wings regularly. I'm not like, oh, thanks to Upstate New York for this. But when PMT just did the thing with

I forget the name of the place, but I was like, yeah, we needed the sauce. I was like, oh yeah, buffalo, okay. You're an idiot too. Today, Jackie asked if crocodiles are different than alligators. That's exactly what she asked, Nick. I feel like that is what she asked.

It's verbatim. I said, there was a brief moment where I just like... Is there a difference between alligators and crocodiles? But then I asked a question that stumped you. Well, I don't know the exact specific difference between them. But I know that they're different.

It's like Mac and Charlie arguing about I forget what. And he's like, I don't have enough information to prove that you're wrong, but you're wrong. Yes. But in this case, it's very. But are. Yeah, this is what I didn't know. What is the difference?

Like, are they from the same family tree? Are they different breeds of the same animal? All that. But the initial question was, is there a difference between crocodiles and alligators? As if you would just like a nickname. They're crocodiles or they're alligators, but they're the same thing.

No, but my issue was, I'll admit, I was wrong on that. Yes. My issue was you being like well that's pretty you idiot that's pretty dumb but no it was it was pretty dumb that would be like but then but then if you can't give me one crocodile fact after like are tigers and lions the same thing like they're very no no no no like looking back on it it was dumb, that's all I want to hear. But I want you to give me one crocodile fact because if you're going to act all high and mighty about crocodile facts,

then give me a crocodile fact. She's fair. Or an alligator fact. Now, if I can say something, I believe it has to do with eye placement. I believe one has eyes. Saltwater freshwater. I said I don't know which is which, but I think it has to do with size. I think it has to do with their tails.

Pabst actually knows a lot about crocodiles. I don't know what's what. When you left the room, Pabst was like, I actually know a ton about crocodiles. I was going to let it. What a freak. Speak up, crocodile weirdo. I don't know that much. It's just always in my grandparents' backyard. I live in Florida, so I did some research.

Is there a gator or a crocodile back there? It was an alligator. Gators are in Florida. Crocodiles are in Georgia. One weighs like 700 to 1,000 pounds. The other weighs like 1,000 to 1,300 pounds. And then the snout is the biggest difference. Sure. Okay. If he were to aggressively

come at me and be like, oh, you idiot, that's acceptable. I'm not high and mighty about crocodile facts. I'm high and mighty about things having different names. They're different things if they have different names. Why? My initial point was, why would they have a name for a crocodile and an alligator if they were the same thing?

They would just all be crocodiles. That's a fair point. No, no. The more we argue, the less – I don't want to argue this. The more we argue, the less I'm seeing the argument. That's how having a bad argument works. Oh, you're the best. All right.

The more we talk about it, the dumber it sounds. We've been, like, obviously integrating the whole team Here into the show and it's just getting dumber and dumber We find out people can't swim We find out people don't know things For many years it was just John disclosing weird secrets to me And now it's like at least we got three other people

To take some shrapnel for you You're getting covered because there's other idiots in the room. It is nice. John's dressed like an axel. Oh, yeah? Well, Jackie doesn't know what a crocodile is. It's all just people accusing each other of fucking up. Hide behind my nectar sunglasses here, which are my edible.

You've been wearing them? Well, I just got them yesterday. are my... You've been wearing them? Well, I just got them yesterday. I know, you've been wearing them? Well, you know my... I know what I mean, but they're nice enough that you've got to wear them. I know, I was going to say,

I'll wear them next Memorial Day. But they are sharp enough that I want to get some wears in. My feeling is that they're sunglasses season, and that during the fall and winter you don't wear sunglasses. I've been pointed out by many people that that is

abundantly stupid. But I've stood firm and I do have to admit though that I want to get my nectar on so I'm going to rock these anytime there's a little bit of sun no matter what the temperature is. It's an East Coast brand which I like. I feel like

sunglasses are always like West Coast, floofy, fluffy, fucking Jackie, you know, California shit. Give me some fucking New York glasses, because you know they're like I could fucking, yeah, they're not going to break. They're not trash. They're going to stay fit. They're fully

sustainable. Drop these in the gutter. They'll fucking be fine. Yeah, when they go to the fucking subway and the alligators are in the sewer, or is it a crocodile? I don't know. Look at the snout. We'll find out. I'm here in New York.

If you wear those things walking by a Sbarro, they go, no thanks, not for me. These are made out of 100% recycled water bottles, which I think that means that we are in business with Nectar because we drink so many water bottles here. We balance each other out. We drink so many water bottles at Barstool Sports that it got me to care about the environment. That's how many it is because I take note and I go, this is crazy. We're ruining the environment. But no, because this ships right

over to nectar sunglasses. What did you do? Bite yourself? No, I get like these weird tendon things. Oh, no. Another thing taken to the hospital. Oh, you got it in your pocket. It's in your hood. Meant to do that. Made from the recycled water bottles. And I've been dropping a lot of things.

I think I'm having a lot of problems. I think I have Alzheimer's. Oh, I definitely have Alzheimer's. Okay, good. We can die together. First, but let me tell you, You can go get these sunglasses For our funeral For my funeral You can wear the sunglasses

Everybody wears funeral sunglasses right Yep You can wear nectar to my funeral Once I'm dead And you can get them for just 50 bucks They're stylish They're polarized And if you don't want to get shades

You can get the blue light blockers Which are like the regular glasses That the 98 degrees guy wears That'll keep your eyes sharp Even when you're looking at screens and blue lights and all that. Right now, you get a free pair of their best-selling blue light blockers when you go to Nectarsunglasses.com slash KFC. You could win a free pair when you shop during the holiday online shopping season.

Nectarsunglasses.com slash KFC. You could win a free pair of the blue light blockers, and you're going to look sharp with a, and you never have to worry about anything because they've got a lifetime warranty that covers literally everything. Anything happens to these, and you want to get a replacement pair,

the day that you buy them until the day that you die, you can get a new replacement pair. I've got Alzheimer's. Why do you have Alzheimer's? So, it's a thing that's been happening forever. We started it with the fly. I just forget to pull my pants up every time. Then the

sleep eating was happening. I don't think that's a symptom of Alzheimer's, but continue. I'm not sure it's sleep eating stuff anymore. Alright, last night I went to It was more than 7-11 We just got some ice cream And an Uncrustable You know what's funny

You've always been an ice cream guy I'm on a crazy First ever in my entire life Ice cream kick And it's like we're just The amount of ice cream that me and you have probably eaten In the past like three weeks. I use a spoon and I eat them when I'm awake.

You use your fists, your, your, your hooves and you do it while you're asleep. But nonetheless, the ice cream consumption is off the charts. But I, so last night I went at like 9 30 PM,

9 30, 10 o'clock. I went to seven 11. I got, uh, I think some ice cream, beef jerky, some protein bars, Uncrustable peanut butter and jelly, which I ate on the street. And right outside, I just ate it over a trash barrel outside of 7-Eleven. While a homeless man was standing next to me eating a cheeseburger,

he just wound up inside. Have we just totally given up? Is that what's happening here? Have we given up on life? I think so. Truly? Like, it's been a running joke for a while, but now this sounds like the behavior of a flat-out homeless person.

You're eating an Uncrustable right outside of 7-Eleven. I just threw the wrapper in the trash. It wasn't actually. Also, it's an off-brand Uncrustable. It was like a flat PB&J. I forget what it was called. It was in a purple wrapper and everything, but it was a knockoff on the Crossbow.

Yeah. And I was eating it while a homeless guy was sitting there eating a cheeseburger. And you're dressed, obviously, in something similar to this, right? No, it was a new Phoebus sweatshirt, which I stole. I don't know if you noticed. I stole the green and black one. I like it a lot. Oh, well, stop.

Not a great endorsement. Someone was about to buy them and saw that they're like never mind um but but then i woke up this morning and again i did it 9 30 10 o'clock i was not asleep yet i was i was a little tired but what was morning i was like did that do that happen last night like your behavior is so despicable it might be a fever dream. I was like – it wasn't even the trash thing. Trash. It was just the whole process. The whole like – I was like, did I go to a 7-Eleven last night? And I had to check the trash.

And I was like, I did. I went to a 7-Eleven. So that's Alzheimer's. That's big time Alzheimer's. That just happened. Yeah. Like that's – I looked in the trash to see if there was – Oh, I got some twin snakes too. Like that's I looked in the trash

To see if there was Oh I got some twin snakes Like that's what You got what? Twin snakes I thought you said steaks Yeah I was like what's a twin

It's like we really are becoming Like Charlie Kelly We're doing milk steaks here Sloppy steaks When you have to Examine The room for evidence Like an investigator would

They would go through the trash And be like With with their gloves on, they'd be like, Boss, I got a receipt from 7-Eleven. He was at 7-Eleven last night. You had to do that for yourself. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I wasn't looking for receipts. I don't have receipts.

In fact, oh, here's another Alzheimer's thing. When I got to 7-Eleven, I'd forgotten my wallet. Thank God for Apple Pay. I used my phone. I was like, oh, here you go. I just didn't have my wallet on me i kind of just have like one example that's a little funny you have alzheimer's i've been driving around and i park and i just get out of the car and i leave the whole thing

running yours is the most outrageous i know i know. So I've got like, I've got quality, not quantity. You've got a lot of examples. I've got really, I got two really bad ones. Like I got out of the car. I get my, I go into this bagel store. I get a whole bunch of bagels and muffins for the kids and stuff. And I come back out and I'm like, kind of like, all right, this is my wallet. There's my house keys.

There's the phone. And then I'm like, wait a minute, back pocket. I had a hoodie on. So I'm checking, kind of like, all right, there's my wallet. There's my house keys. There's the phone. And then I'm like, wait a minute, back pocket? I had a hoodie on, so I'm checking all my pockets. And I'm standing by the car. And as I'm doing it, I hear the car kind of just like. Are the children in the car? No, no, no, no. And I open the door and like radio on, air conditioner blasting.

It's nice and cold in there. And I lean in. And the fucking keys are in, ignition's on, car's in park. I was like, yo, that's bad. But I was like, I don't know, whatever. I was in a rush or some shit. And then, like, a couple days later, I just did it again. How many times have you done it? Twice.

Okay. But in, like, a four-day span. So, like, I'm due for number three. But that's why the automatic key is bullshit the automatic key should not exist i have a turnkey jesus christ i said i'm the last person in america that has a fucking metal key that you turn in so i forgot to like like yeah that's that's kind of understandable because you just you know you maybe forget to push the button.

You get out, you have the fucking thing in your pocket, whatever. I have a thing that I put in the dashboard and turn the key. And I just left that in there. I'm telling you, Mr. Notebook over here, you got to be reading me about my fucking life in 10 years. That is bad, bro. Just going to play episodes back. What?

Play episodes back to you. Yeah. No going to play episodes back. What? Play episodes back to you. Yeah. No, this could be me. I think we both need to retire from public life. I've always wanted to do that. I mean, Shaq just did it. Shaq retired from being a celebrity. I think that we are getting to the point.

Or, or, or do we not retire we let it ride see what happens and we have this out there and then we can just do whatever we want celebrities they're just like us

sort of thing and it's just like I don't think we're big enough though I think in our world we are in our world we are I guess but so it like like if we

if you see me like with like ice cream dripping down my face in the park and you're a stoolie, you're just like, oh, well, you know. That's Kevin. He's been talking about the problems he's been having. The rest of the people. You see me over a trash can with even homeless people.

Yeah. On a Tuesday night. Maybe we just need to become, like, mole people and live in, like, the tunnels and stuff. I'm ready to go right now. Like, I always want to. I have literally. I kind of want to Unironically Eat a hot dog

Over a barrel fire With like a can of beans Like the guy in Dennis the Menace You know Oh dude We actually This

Kevin wasn't in When you were gone Casey Casey filled in one episode And she was talking about Something Where someone was dead And they weren't found for three days.

Mm-hmm. And, right? That was on the show? Sounds familiar. And I was like, I could disappear for three days. Definitely. And she's like, it was so sad, like, no one found him for three days. And I was like, if I disappear for three days, no one would even flinch.

No. But, like, someone's finally being honest. But I would. It wouldn't but much more nick said that he has protocol oh yeah if i'm not responding to text messages he goes to check my tweets and he's one last time i tweeted was my family tells me about this all the time yeah like i've had you know how close to the edge your toe is gonna be for people that have protocols they're like all right i have had my family send out.

It's overall positive. I've had my family send people to my apartment based on my lack of text and tweets. They've been like, I haven't gotten a text, and it's been this many hours since his last tweet. Middle of the night, they're sending people to my house. And I finally roll over, and I pick up the phone, and I'm like, what? And they're like, what are you doing? And I'm like, I'm sleeping. They're like, we haven't heard from you in eight hours.

I'm like, it's nighttime. That's when you're not supposed to hear from people. It's 2 a.m. I haven't heard from you since like 10 o'clock. I went to bed and I'll wake up in the morning, guys. But they're so scared of me that they're like, send out. We need proof of life It's crazy

It is It's a fucked up It's a fucked up world And I think that's why Shaq left it But Actually I got some interesting things to say here Do you? Yeah

About Shaq retiring? Not about Shaq retiring Which I love the Shaq's quote Okay so Shaq Shaq had I got a lot on this I got a weird amount on this Shaq retiring from celebrity Shaq's quote. Okay, so Shaq had a lot on this.

I got a little weird about it on this. Shaq retiring from celebrity. Shaq retired from celebrity. And there's levels. Like, retiring from public life is the top dog. That's when it's like, you'll never see me again. I'm gone. Retiring from celebrity, what does that mean?

But it means, I think, nothing. No, nothing at all. I think it just means that Shaq does not want to be referred to as a celebrity. Correct. Like, Shaq's not leaving NBA countdown. No, everything at all. I think it just means that Shaq does not want to be referred to as a celebrity. Correct. Like, Shaq's not leaving NBA countdown. No. Shaq's going to be getting checks from the general. No doubt. From everyone in the world.

Shaq gets paid by everybody. Shaq's like the mob, man. He shows up and everyone's got to give him a check down, like walking down the block. He says, these celebrities are going freaking crazy and I don't want to be one. I denounce my celebrity-ness today. I'm done with it. See, I respect that. Because everyone who's a celebrity is a fucking asshole these days.

But do you know how disconnected from reality you have to be already to realize that celebrities are going crazy? When you've been a celebrity since the mid to early 90s? But I get what he's saying because it's not like it was in the mid to late 90s. No, it's... It's so much worse now. I don't think so. Everyone's a fucking wacko. It's all political.

You got people taking sides and vaccines and all this shit. No, I think it's been this way forever. No. Yes, it has. No. Yes, it has. Because they've been... They stayed in their lane.

Nope. They did. No, I just genuinely don't think so. Give me an example of like someone from the 90s who – like a celebrity who – Well, I don't remember. I wasn't around for it. But I think celebrities have been crazy forever. It's just like you're like, celebrities go crazy these days.

Celebrities have been crazy forever. Well, fine. Because of what celebrity does to a human brain. Like you're just not supposed to be – the human brain is not wired to be able to handle the criticisms of the world on a daily basis. Sure, but that's like the world is just getting worse. So, like, I think when you were a celebrity, you were weird, but you weren't the wacko that you are today because you have social media, because you can't leave the house, because you get wrapped up in fucking conspiracy theories and vaccines and QAnon and all this shit that's like, new celebrities. I don't think celebrities are like about that stuff though. Like your regular celebrities is like

deep in QAnon? Well, like the Backstreet Boy guy. Yeah, like I think people get wrapped up in politics way more now because of the internet and social media. Like I don't think, you know, you don't have guys like Kyrie Irving doing vaccine shit if it's not for the way the world is today. I think this is one of those things that I think is just the way the world's always been and just we

everyone because of like main character syndrome, which Kyrie has, we all think it's like the worst right now, but I think it's just like it's more prevalent. It's like everything. I think the example I always use is like people think the world's more violent today when it's just like it's just not. We just hear about people who got shot in Arkansas. But in this case, being able to

hear about everything is what's making you crazier. Yeah, there are parts of it. But he says he just doesn't want to be called a celebrity. He came from nothing. Don't lump me in with these fucking weirdos. But, like, that's such a celebrity thing to do. Like, I'm not a celebrity. Don't call me a celebrity.

It's Michael Scott declaring that. Just yelling it out. You can't do that. It's also – Shaq is just definitively a celebrity. out. You can't do that. It's also, it's also. Shaq is just definitively a celebrity. Yeah, you can't, like, if there's ever a list of, like, hottest celebrities, Shaq's not available to pick. Right. Like, I'm no longer a celeb.

But I can see a guy like him who did come from that, like, past generation really being, like, celebrities are just supposed to be about, like, money and parties and popularity and nothing else. And all these fucking weirdos, I don't want to be lumped in with them. I don't want to be known as one of these guys who thinks he's an influencer or believes he's a role model or thinks he's speaking for one party. But Shaq does all that. Shaq does all that. What does he do? The role model stuff.

Oh, he's like brand partnership with Walmart. Well, I think, yeah, he's like a good role model almost. I think it's more like, I guess actually when you look at it, it's like, okay, Shaq, you pretend to be good role model almost. I think it's more like... I guess actually when you look at it, it's like, okay, Shaq, you pretend to be a police officer. You endorse everything under the sun. Yeah, Shaq was a reality TV star. Yeah, he's kind of...

He's probably the most celebrity. Of anyone who could say anything. You are a living, walking cartoon. You were a genie. You're a video game star. You've never once had you turn down a check. The definition of celebrity. And I love Shaq.

Everyone loves Shaq. If I ever get those chances, by the way, I'm taking them. Of course. When people kind of laugh at that, I'm like, bro, I'll be your prostate pills. I'll endorse your toothpaste. I'll wear adult diapers. Whatever. Give me all that fucking money.

Let me cash in. I mean, when you're a 7'3", 400-pound freak, you might as well just cash in on everything the world has to send your way. But the thing about celebrity I was reading, I don't know if I read that and then did some research or whatever, but I was reading an article about how the internet has turned everyone, so to speak, into a celebrity, which we know, obviously. And there were two interesting things I read in it.

It was actually an article by Chris Hayes in The New Yorker. And one was that the internet has made all of us a fennec fox, which are foxes in the Sahara Desert. They're very little. And they have humongous ears. And the ears serve two purposes. One is that because they're in the desert and the blood has to flow through the big ears,

it just keeps them cool. And the other is that... I hear motherfuckers gossiping about them. Is that it's in the fucking... You know, you hear all the scorpions and shit like that. But yes, that is basically what you're saying is yes, is that like we all have those ears now. And I guess there's an exhibit at the Bronx Zoo where you can put – it's like fake Fennec Fox ears. Yeah. But you know about it.

I think I do. Okay. I think I do. And it just like amplifies everything. And you can hear everything. Yeah. And it's like – and atc Fox ears. Yeah. But you know about it. I think I do. Okay. I think I do. And it just amplifies everything. And you can hear everything. Yeah. And at first, it's kind of cool. And at first, it's overwhelming.

And then you can learn how to harness it. And you're like, oh, I can hear that conversation. And then you realize, wait, oh, that person said something I don't agree with. What the fuck? And oh, I hate that person. Sure. And oh, wait, that person just says I look like an asshole. And then you have the need to respond to everybody.

That's absolutely the internet. And oh, wait, that person just says I look like an asshole. And then you have the need to respond to everybody. That's absolutely the internet. It's like I've always been saying the world, the humans are not designed to be stimulated by like 10,000 people in a day. And that's what happens when you follow that many people and see that many things on your timeline. It's like that's too many opinions, too many arguments, too many articles, too many everything that you're just like, yes, no, wrong. Right. I agree. I disagree. You're not designed to do it. Like not even close. You know, you still talk to like four people in a day. People used to come home from a long day of work and be like, oh my God, it was terrible. I spoke to Johnson and then my boss gave me a hard time. Two people. That was it. And now it's like, well, I got canceled and the mob said this and this came after that.

And I got outed by this person and doxxed by that. You know, it's like. But then. And then. So that all sucks. And then the good of it doesn't come anymore. And this is fucking kind of dark, to be honest. So the example was used of how

it's not even just people who are celebrities or have platforms. Everyone on the internet thinks they are the star. They think of themselves as the star. You've got to Photoshop your pictures and post them. Someone with 400 followers. It doesn't matter. They want their likes up. They want their things up. It doesn't matter. Everyone is the star of their show.

Right. And so it's not just what I'm about to say isn't about like just people with platforms or celebrities or whatever. It's about literally everyone with an account. And it was the – a philosopher named Alexander Kozhev in the 1930s, a Russian philosopher who taught in France. And he came up with this – I don't know if it was a thought experiment or whatever you would call it. But it was the master-slave relationship. Where back in the day, all a master wanted was that his power and authority be recognized by his slaves. But because he did not recognize them as human beings, their recognition meant nothing to him.

He thought, so he just chased it and chased it and chased it, and it just never fulfilled him. Now that's what happens to people on the internet. Because you think of the people who follow you as, like, lesser than you because they follow you, and, like, their likes don't mean anything. And you're just constantly chasing that. Well, that's why – yeah, you know, if you would have told me at one point I would have 400,000 followers, I would have been like, oh my God,

that's like all I ever need, you know? But now it's like, well, I need 500, I need 600, I need 700. Yeah, you're just chasing more, chasing more. You're chasing the dragon for everything. All this shit, man. And it's like, the reason I was like, boy, we're getting gross. The comparisons we're making on the internet

are now master-slave. Like, Jesus Christ. I've been saying it. I think that they're going to look back and be like, can you believe that humans used to be on it for, like, 24 hours a day? They didn't limit it at all. They just let their brains fucking, like, do it. There's just no way to be.

Or we just, like, humans just totally shift into, like, a different fucking creature. Right. Because the old way just can't exist anymore. we just like humans just totally shift into like a different fucking creature. Right. Because the old way just can't exist anymore because it, you do it with like likes, you do it with followers, you do it with money, you do it. I guess,

I guess there's been forms of this where you're always chasing something, but this is so vapid and so empty that it's like, you're never going to find any level of satisfaction. Just a bunch of corpses is what you're going to find. And it's the ultimate, you know, there's always somebody. You know, they say there's always somebody richer than you, more successful than you, whatever. But there truly is on the internet somebody always was. Yeah.

Another follower. I have one more than you. I have two more than you. I have ten more than you. I have twenty, you know. And you'll just never find satisfaction out of it. Never. But also, then when you, like, have your epiphany and you're like, I'm done.

I quit the internet or I deleted it or whatever. It's like you can't even participate in regular life after that. I know. I'm so true. Because you're the weirdo who doesn't have an account. Hey, did you see this meme? Did you see this trend? Did you see this video?

It's like, no, I had to delete all that or I stay away from that because... Because it consumed me. Right. And now I can't communicate with people. Because you got – yeah. I mean, what do you do? You almost have to like create your own fucking like communities where it's like – I guess I'm trying to think it's almost like an alcoholic, but you just have to get to that level where like you can still go to the bar.

But I think there are a lot of people – And people can look at the internet around me and – I think there's a lot of people though who don't do that and they're like, I just hang out with like other sober people. Yeah. Because I don't do that. And they're like, I just hang out with other sober people. Because I don't want to be around the weirdos who are just – Just go to the woods. Because especially if you do truly break away from it, you probably truly notice. Look around.

Everybody's got their heads in their phones. I'm literally posting on Instagram as I cut cameras right now. Yeah. So you probably are – we already know that. But you probably become hyper aware of like you're looking at your phone oh you're photoshopping your picture again you're you're taking your 10th fucking selfie in a row you're you know i've recently done that where i like i've made the the effort to when i'm at dinner a bar whatever to like i will sometimes

i'll open to first of all, I try my best to not even open social media at all. But if I do it, basically just double tap, get to the top of my likes, my interactions, and double tap, get to the top of the thing, just to see if anything massive happened. Like I'll scroll my mentions real quick and like if something huge has happened, someone will probably say something to me. And then I put it back down. And it's like I try not to do

things that are just like literally just me just ignoring what's happening in front of me I was thinking the sneaky thing about it is how unbelievably passive it is you can very easily just like it doesn't disrupt like everything like if we were out

but because I've started it because I've started to be like okay I'm just not gonna I know what you're doing but like if we were out i but but because i've started it because i've started to be like okay i'm just not gonna notice how i know what you're doing i'm like yeah right like but like if it was and i there's no comparison for like 50 it would be like the equivalent would be like like if you had to speak on the phone and we were out to dinner and i was just like hello and i had like a 20 minute conversation you'd be like what the fuck but because i can casually just be like oh yeah yeah i know yeah like yeah i can keep the conversation up while i do it it allows you to just subtly slowly steadily be a bigger asshole

and then you're doing it at the same how many times have you seen like i grab my phone so then you grab your phone right yeah i i'll try hard my heart is to be the first person not to but as soon as someone checks i'm like okay there almost should be like designated time. It's like, ding. All right, everybody check your phone, put it back. But I really wonder, I remember when the iPhone first came out, because my brother was always, he's always like on the cutting edge of all technology and apps and shit. He was one of those like, you know, iPhone nuts, like we got to get it. And I remember thinking like, it's a new cell phone, the way like the Razr was a new cell phone. And when I got new cell phones, I cared about like how cool they looked, not like what they could do.

And I do – I think I said this before, but I remember playing around with this the first night being like, I don't get it. I don't think it's going to be a big deal. It's just another phone. Not realizing that it's like literally going to, literally going to completely 90 degree alter humanity. Right. I guess like they had to have known that when they were making it. Like Steve Jobs is creating this thing being like, I'm going to own all of humanity. Like I'm going to harness.

The purple computers aren't really selling much anymore. And he's like, just wait till you see what I'm dropping this harness. The purple computers aren't really selling much anymore. And he's like, just wait until you see what I'm dropping this time. Exactly. Who gives a shit about that? Oh, the earnings call didn't go that well this week? Doesn't matter. And when you hear down to, like, they make the blue, the color blue is appealing. So you want more of it.

And the sounds that you hear and the simulation makes you excited. And, like, it was like we are purposely – Fucked up how easily manipulated we are. I know. But I'm sure they studied that. I'm sure they knew all those things and were like, let's make a device that allows us to just – what? Speaking of, we have a new update to ATI, and it is very addicting.

I got lost in it. The new – dude, Nick just turned ATI into TikTok. He did. It's unbelievable. Really? Nick just turned ATI into TikTok. He did. It's unbelievable. Really? That's 100% what I did. The new update is – I told them, make it look like TikTok.

When you open up TikTok and it just immediately starts and the volume is on and the clips are playing and you can just swipe up and scroll through. If you download the new ATI app, you have the latest update. It just plays random clips, so you don't have to pick which celebrity you want to hear. You're not picking which question. You're not looking at which deck. It's just ATI.

Here's a clip. Here's a celebrity answering a stupid question. Here's another one. Here's the next one. Here's Burt Kreischer. Swipe, it's over. There's Tom Segura. After that is Bill Burr.

After that's a porn star. There goes a bellow. There goes the it's I mean and you just you'll never stop I don't know how to update apps you're up for it

yeah your update won't it's coming like tonight oh okay so if you want to look at it I got it on mine I mean it really

it's just it's the same like look it's cool as I like denounce it for being like evil I'm like great job Nick I mean, it really, it's just, it's the same, like, look, it's cool. As I, like, denounce it for being, like, evil, I'm like, great job, Nick. Oh, yeah. I mean, it's the same exact format, the same exact look, and you can just keep scrolling. I mean, we just went Burt Kreischer, Annie Lederman, Bella Danger, Ari Shafir, Henry Golding, Tom Segura, Annie Lederman, Lisa Ann, Jessa Rhodes.

I got to go cum. That white shirt. The white shirt. I'm going to say Jessa Rhodes, the white shirt, like stonewashed color jeans, is a timeless outfit. Her appearance on ATI and Barstool Sports. Like, I'm not even trying to be perverted. My penis hurts. I remember seeing her.

I remember looking her up real quick. I remember looking her up when I knew she was coming in. I was like, okay. Like, you know, super hot. Blonde porn star. Cool. Then I walked out and I saw her sitting in the lobby and I was like, what the fuck? Like, what the fuck?

Like, there's hot women. There's hot. There's like hot. And then there's like showstopper. Like, what the fuck? Like, what the fuck? Like, there's hot women. There's hot shit. There's, like, hot, and then there's, like, showstopper. Like, what the fuck was – what is that? What am I even looking at? Like, that's a dick wrecker. I've met women before. You're not one. You're not – yeah, you are a different species, man.

Whatever you are, I've never seen. I mean, that was – and, by the way, as you list out the people on ATI, COVID fucking unfortunately just wrecked Answer the Internet for the time being. It just killed the momentum. It was... I think for a while, Answer the Internet was the biggest YouTube at Barstool. I think it was even bigger than the main account. It was growing faster than anything.

It was like the best YouTube account we had. One of the most intriguing, interesting things on the internet because it had such star power and we're asking such at times sophomoric questions, ridiculous questions, thought-provoking questions. Just like an unbelievable product with the best of the best in the game. And I just like, I was thinking of like, how do I, how do we like remind people of that? Because the algorithm is,

is down because we haven't, we, we didn't have the same schedule of posting during COVID. And you know, that's the entire game is, is getting YouTube to like play along with you. And we're still having trouble getting guests in the door because of the Delta variant and shit.

But it's like, I just need people to remember how fucking good answer the internet can be and when you get the right guests and the right questions and it's clicking i truly think it's like the best thing on the internet because you get the celebrities that you never hear talking like that they're now talking like that and answering things you would never like ever imagine so if you if you haven't been on ati in a while you don't have the app you didn't have the game whatever like and and if you're learning about it for the first time now's a great time to go you can go all the way back on the youtube download the app scroll through the the the new update that's like tiktok buy the game

play it yourself it's it is just like one of the best things we've ever done and covid i i've been i've been thinking like for the most part, like COVID, we're fine at times. I feel like we even enjoyed like what happened because of it. But ATI was like the true, our one big like victim of COVID. So fuck that. But go back and make sure you watch all of them and listen to them. And the new app is going to like melt your brain and enslave you.

You're welcome. Great. It's alright. We both got Alzheimer's. The world is like a dystopian wasteland. And you're dressed like a homeless person now. Yeah.

Cool. Oh, well, I've got I've got I've got a couple got I've got a couple I've got an update I've got a situation We'll do some ATIs And answer the internet In a little bit

No And then our voicemails Of course But I got I got money issues I got tax issues Surprise surprise

Wait I think I did I looked in here To see if I wrote Something down I could have sworn I wrote that down money money never stops uh oh yeah i did it was on the back page irs okay i got an irs problem too no no it's not for me oh it's you told me right yes okay uh luckily i got sling tv where i don't have to worry about how you know spending a boatload of money every month to get my entertainment fix.

Sling TV has all major sports live. So right now we've got the NFL cooking. We've got baseball playoffs in full swing. You think the Sox are going to make it? Yes. You think they'll make the wild card? I mean, it's fucking Orioles. If they don't make it, then fuck them.

They don't deserve to. But it's Orioles and fucking Nationals. I'm very worried the Yankees are going to win the World Series. That fucking short porch bet last night pissed me off. What was it? It was like plus 800, Stanton to go deep, and they win. And that happened? Yeah.

Yeah. That's the problem. Right now, Judge and Stanton are healthy and cooking, and that's what they've been waiting for for many years now. It's finally happening. Then you got NHL and nba tipping off soon uh and that every all that's included on sling espn nfl red zone sec network golf network fs1 tnt and nb uh nbc sports network i mean they got everything for sports plus they've got the barstool sports channel right now uh barstool has its own channel on slling, 24 hours a day,

all original programming. So if you want to watch our podcast or our original video content or video series, you can watch Barstool on your TV on Sling. And right now, it starts at just $35 a month, and when you sign up now, you get your first month for just $10. Go to sling.com slash barstool to sign up now and get your first month for just ten dollars go to sling.com slash barstool to sign up now and get your first month starting at just 10 bucks i got a letter in the irs i shit you not i was on the phone i was on the phone talking and we were having a conversation uh about the irs and taxes

and shit and i was saying on the phone with the IRS? No, no, no. I was on the phone talking, and I said... I remember a time when I used to love tax season because I was always getting money back. It was like a bonus. And I was like, now when I get a letter from the IRS,

I gasp in panic. And as I was saying that, I was going through the mail and a fucking letter from the IRS was there and I was like I couldn't believe it because I never checked my mail I literally take everything from the mail and I throw it in the garbage

that's why I have tax problems and for the one time I decided to check it because I got like hospital shit with Shay and I was like maybe it's important I see an IRS and I was like that was some Truman Show shit. You want to talk about star syndrome? What's it called?

Main character. Main character. Oh, it was the main fucking character right down there. So I get a letter from the IRS saying, we recommend that you pay $3,900 in taxes on October 7th. For?

For my taxes this year. They recommend. I don't have to, but they're recommending it. Now, the reason they're doing that is because I get butt fucked every year in taxes. Like last year, I owed like $21,000 in taxes. And I was was like what the fuck is going on here just take more money out in my paycheck yeah yeah and oh fuck the same thing happened to me and they were like we'll just make this change and you can do that and i just never

did it so you're gonna well so what they recommend so i when i first paid it i i they i got like a letter back saying like you're good, you paid your shit. We think that you should pay this quarterly. Wait, wait. The state of New York owes me a bunch of money. Fuck you. I forgot about that. Sorry to interrupt, but continue.

No, go ahead. Why do you get your money? No, I don't know. I don't know. I just remember it from two years ago. Why? They owe me like six grand. don't they just send it to you normally fucked up what do you mean i don't know i i gotta know i honestly don't know more than this and i'm never gonna do it i was gonna say well can i do it for you and claim the money or something i'll split it with you all right let's go so they're saying like every i and i and then

i remembered i oh first i opened up i was like what the fuck is going on here and then i remember they said like in october and then like uh march and then june whatever it was they had like a payment structure where i would just pay them you know a few thousand dollars here and there so that i didn't have to pay like 20 and come like April or May. Which I logically understand, but also fuck you. Like, I might fucking, you know, die. Yeah, yeah. I might get hit by a bus and need a payment.

You might have to give them the money before you have to give them the money. Yes, I might need every penny because something terrible happens. I might get the opportunity of a lifetime and I end up $3,900 short of it because I fucking preemptively went with the IRS's recommendation. They said we recommend. The first thing that went through my head was old school. I wanted to be like, well, I recommend. You know what I'm talking about? Oh, I have an idea.

I think it's the funniest. If I had an idea. I think it's the funniest. If I had to pick, I think it's the funniest scene in movie history. Just like the funniest. You're in the back seat. It is the funniest scene in movie history. Actually, that line of thinking might be the most logical, logical line of thinking ever on this planet. Not paying the money until I have to pay the money? No.

That too, yes. But not putting on the money. But, like, yeah, like, you're in the backseat. What could possibly happen? That was just how people – The moms who wanted to fuck teenagers, that was their line of thinking. Oh. No, you're in a captain's seat in the back of a van.

You're fine. We need a seatbelt. Do you put the seatbelt on the back seat? Oh, we've talked about this before. Well, I'm more of a – I put a seatbelt on. First of all, I couldn't tell you how awesome I sat in that back seat. No, in a cab, no, I don't. In an Uber, no, I don't.

That was the other thing. You don't put your seatbelt on in a taxi cab or an Uber. No, no. That's really gay. That's what I mean. It's super gay. You get in the back seat of – especially a taxi where the backseat is just a bench. They're not even seats.

And you're going to put a seatbelt on? That's the gayest shit ever. You get in the backseat in your mom's car, put your seatbelt on? I can't tell the last time I was in the backseat of a regular car. I can't answer that whether I put those belts on or not. I would bet a captain's seat I do, a bench I don't tell you the last time I was in the backseat of a regular car. So I can't answer that whether I put those belts on or not. I'm going to think. I would bet a captain seat I do, a bench I don't. Okay.

I'm a seatbelt guy. I'm pro seatbelt. In the front seat? In the front seat, definitely. Okay, well, I will say this. I am a pro seatbelt guy in all cases at all times. Do as I say, not as I do. Okay.

I'll say I'm a pro seatbelt guy, and then you can catch me tomorrow in the backseat of a car not wearing it. Catch me in the backseat of a car like Adrian Tretjik with a leg up. Yes, sure. You don't know that scene? No, I know exactly what you're talking about It's just a ridiculous, obscene thing to pull out right now I always like to mix in a squirt whenever I can Bro, do you know that scene?

Yeah When she does it with You're talking about also when she actually fucks the Uber driver? No, no, this is a different one This is like I think it's just like the intro to like One of those tushy, whatever, maybe black, whatever it is.

Yeah. But there's one scene where, and that definitely is in the intro for it, where she just fucking, she's like a sex animal. And like, she's like chained up. And the guy's like, you got to see this shit. It's like two dudes. It's, like, two dudes. It's definitely on black. It's two black guys.

And they're like, you got to see this chick. She's crazy. And then, like, they walk in the room. She's like, she's, like, a sex monster. And she's, like, trying to, like, shake the chains off. And then they, like. Is she, like, wearing, like. She's a first.

But she's just a girl It's not like she's supposed to be an actor She's just a human being who is addicted to penis And they like take the chains off her And she just like sprints And like tackles the guy Rips their clothes off Can I tell you

Truly, John, look at me I'm going to tell you the hottest thing in the world About Adriana Cechuk the hottest thing in the world about Adriana Cechuk. The hottest thing in the world. I have an interview with Pornhub Area coming out in the next couple weeks. She was telling me about Adriana. She's like good friends with Adriana Cechuk. Adriana Cechuk does not, I don't think she ever has,

and if she has, she never will again. She does not watch her own Stuff Because she's like appalled by it She's like What I do is so disgusting I can't watch it She's like what happens to me in the moment

I do it and then if I see it Afterwards I am embarrassed And I am like I'm disappointed in myself because of what i do which is insane it's like michael jordan not watching game tape you know it's like you're the greatest how could you don't you don't like you know what that is i don't even know how i would go about finding this to be honest there's a fucking old story about uh john you found it you found it no i think i know what video you're talking about, though.

Search splits in half. What? The title stuck out. Nick, did you watch this last night? No, recently. Splits in half? What's happening? Let me know if that's it. Oh, squirts in half is what you're referring to, and yep, you're right.

Squirts in half? What is she squirting half? I don't know. Maybe they meant to say splits because it doesn't really make sense. That's why I remembered it. I was like, what the fuck is going on here? Can you believe that she never gets to experience her own porn? Isn't there an old baseball story?

I think it's Ted Williams. Fenway is known for their hot dogs, right? Fenway Franks? Yeah. They're regular ass hot dogs. It's either Ted Williams with the Fenway Franks or somebody who played for the Dodgers with Dodger Dogs. Who was like, they asked him about Dodger dogs and he was like, I don't,

I've never had one. I'm playing every fucking day. That's Adriana with her porn. Like I don't have time to watch it. I'm fucking making it. I make this shit. I don't watch it. Like you,

I'm a fucking God of this. Wait. Oh, I think I found, we're just taking a pause to watch. Yeah. Look at that. Look, she's got in her eyes. We're just taking a pause to watch for them. Yeah. Look at that look she's got in her eyes.

She's legitimately chained up like King Kong. Like when they try to transport King Kong in the Godzilla movie. She's ripping the chains off of her neck. Those are like actual chains. Those aren't sexual chains. She bought those at Home Depot. Yeah, no, these are like junkyard dog chains, you know? Tackled.

She made an open field tackle to rip that dick out. Now, now I want you to pause. Close your eyes, John. I'm going to set the same exact scene. Adriana Cechik is being unchained by, by me or you, right? She's ripping, she starts to rip the chains off. She gets out. She starts sprinting across the fucking hotel room and she double clotheslines Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer and then they fuck

her with a strap on dildo on their dicks. Bro, I thought you were going to say like picture she's running at me and in my hair I was already running and crying. You're like the white girl in a horror movie. You're falling down, getting up, falling down. She's not even running. She's bounding after me. She's running on four feet.

Speaking of horror movies, let's just talk about that before we go into Am I the Asshole? One of the most fascinating movie things that ever happened to me went down this past week. I watched the movie Don't Breathe 2. And I Googled it and I read a little bit about it. And I kind of like I could understand. My basic understanding was you don't really need to watch Don't Breathe 1 in order to watch Don't Breathe 2, which technically you do not. But if you do it the way I did it, you're missing out on some seriously key important plot points. It is one of the craziest things in the history of cinema that Don't Breathe 1 got a sequel.

And not just a sequel. It's a redemption story for a blind rapist. I'm just going to say real quick. We'll get to it in a moment. Not a rapist. And I'll tell you why. Because I am the biggest defender of this old blind man. I was at the bar and I said to John, I said,

you've got to watch Don't Breathe 2. You're going to love it. And John was kind of like, yeah, okay, maybe. And then it came up later again. I was kind of like, dude, Don't Breathe 2 is right up your alley because it's action-packed, and in the movie he's a blind, retired Navy SEAL. So he's killing motherfuckers left and right with his blind skills, and he's doing

these macgyver things blowing it up so it's like a thriller mixed with like a you know faster than furious type action and again john's sort of like i don't really you know i don't think so man and then eventually we get to start talking about it and and don't breathe one comes up and i was told like don't breathe one is like yeah the guy he's a bad guy in the first one but he's a good guy in the next one I was just kind of like oh that's cool whatever you know not thinking too much because I was like whatever these are just like action thrillers kind of like a

horror thriller thing no big deal and then John and Colin who's at the bar with us for our Mets event start explaining just how bad it is and a couple things started to make a little bit more sense and don't breathe too like there's a moment where uh they're like should i tell the little girl the truth or should you and i was kind of like put it this way there's a moment in don't

breathe too where the bad guys have this little girl and um they're still trying to be quiet, you know, and so they're like, you know, should I, or they're trying to draw him out, or whatever it is, long story short, he's like, should I tell this little girl, or should you, and in my head, I go, there's literally nothing in the world that you could tell this girl right now that's worse than the current situation that's going on right now, whatever your past is, it can't be be as bad as this she's still gonna be on your side and then i found out and i was like oh no there's a discussion to be had she might want to go with the bad guys she might want to go with the bad guys like i was thinking the whole time no matter what she's gonna want to go with her grandpa and uh and i was like oh no no she might say never mind i'll go with you

guys he like end the fight i'll just get in the car with you he would just tie up women in his basement and rape them no sir what do you mean no sir no sir i'm gonna spoiler alert you now but it's like a six-year-old movie so what he would do what he John, his daughter was run over by a drunk driver and killed. She got off on like a technicality. So he kidnapped her and he kept her in his basement. And he said, it's only fair that you took away my daughter's life. So you have to give me a new one. And he just wanted to impregnate her with a

turkey baster that's all that's right i forgot bro in the movie it's insane he reaches into a fucking freezer pulls out a vial of cum again spoiler alert if you haven't seen don't breathe one although i do heavily recommend going to watch both these movies Because it's a wild trip So maybe tune out for a second Puts the cum on like a frying pan To unfreeze it Yeah Grabs a turkey baster

And this girl is like on a swing And he goes up to You know Impregnate her with it And they stop her Him at the last moment And then They stop him

And there's a fight scene or whatever She takes the turkey baster Puts it in his mouth, and karate palms it into his mouth. And he's like, and there's cum everywhere. It's one of the more degrading scenes ever. I forgot about that. But he literally says, as she's hanging there and he's got a turkey baster full of cum, he's going, and he's blind. So imagine this. His eyes are rolling in his head.

You got a turkey baster full of cum. He's like, I'm... And he's blind. His eyes... So imagine this. His eyes are rolling in his head. You got a turkey baster full of cum. He's like, I am not a rapist. He's like, you're gonna put a turkey baster full of your cum inside of me, bro. I don't know what that's called, but you're that. Okay, well, guess what? I don't consent to what's happening. So... Right. Whatever you want. What this is called is worse than rape,

and I don't consent to it. But it is unbelievable. If you watch these movies out of order, I actually recommend watching these movies out of order simply to think about movie magic and how they, like, because I'll tell you this much, the plot that they come up with in Don't Breathe 2, the bad guys, what they're doing is so heinous

that there's an argument to be made that you should still root for the old man. Even I went back and watched Don't Breathe 1 and I saw how horrible he is. And I was like, even still, what they're about to do, I would root for him. Actually, no brainer. Bro, look at this. This woman is tied up in a basin.

She's in a sex swing. It's actually like a sex swing. They have a zoom in where he's turkey bastering it up out of the cup. It's like just filling up with cum. And I'm like, Jesus. Holy shit. So he was like waiting for that girl to get pregnant and carry the baby to term. And he was like, I'll let you go.

He's like, nine months of your life. You killed my daughter. Nine months of your life, and then you can go. That would work out well, I'm sure. Yeah. Nope, I can't envision any problems there. That guy has to be kidnapped for nine months. Yeah.

Well, then there's an ending to Don't Breathe 1 that obviously leaves the door open for Don't Breathe 2. And just for the sake of the sheer insanity, do yourself a favor. Watch don't breathe one and two in reverse order. Although now that you know a lot of what I just said, it kind of takes away. But it's – give me an example of something you would root for the old man in. I don't know. I don't want to spoil it, but the scene, the idea they came up with really is so diabolical that

like, again, whoever, I think his name's like Fede Alvarez. Well, that's what they did in Breaking Bad. They were like, Heisenberg's gonna be so bad, but we need a final thing where he's the good guy, so let's get Nazis in the mix. Like, literally, modern-day Nazis in New Mexico. Okay, sure.

Sounds good, Vince Gilligan. Let's just fucking bring back Hitler. Him versus a bunch of cyclists who are like, we got to stay on the road. We're also cars. Like, kill him. While we're doing a little quick movie TV talk, I saw you tweeting about Squid Game. So I don't know if you're done or whatever.

Season six, you're right, is crushing. Episode six. Episode six, I mean. Episode six of Squid Game is one of the most emotionally trying. After it finished, I was like, whoa. Yeah. That's tough. I don't like the ending.

Despite the ending, it's still great, which is nice. It's the two most predictable things of all time. Yeah. Both twists are like, yeah, no shit. Yeah. I think I started saying both twists by episode three at the latest. Yeah. Yeah.

But the – my issue is in episode two, I think. Okay. Which is – this isn't, like, this isn't super spoilery. It's the game they play, which is the star circle triangle umbrella. Yeah. Everyone should have known what that game was. Why? Because the moment they, before the rules were explained, the moment they opened their thing, they were like, oh.

Like. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, like, everyone should have just lined up behind the triangle. Yeah, that whole thing confused me. Maybe someone with a better idea of Korean culture can explain to me and say that's only played in this one little neighborhood but if someone knew it they all knew it it might have just been that they know the they know about um breaking out like a cookie they didn't know like the shapes though like it could always be different shapes but in this in that flashback for some the one that they were yeah the one that they are it is

was that specific thing so it's almost like you were like you know american culture i guess if you would or any culture it's cards but if they're like they're like okay here for there's a a jack a queen a king and an ace yeah and the game you always play the very big public game of the culture is pick the highest card right right pick your card everyone behind the ace yeah yeah yeah that didn't really make any sense why i didn't understand why everyone immediately went oh because i would because i was like what is it it? It's a very weird, convoluted game of cracker and shit. I think Ji-hyun, he immediately goes, I'm dead, because he had the umbrella. Yeah, it's like, well, you shouldn't.

What did you think? It's the four things. Why did you not know? I think that's more of an oversight than anything, because that really doesn't make much sense there. It was very frustrating to watch in that, this game. Very cool, very cool very cool show though like a uh you know in in this day and age the landing no they didn't miss the landing they didn't land it perfectly they didn't carry shrug it right it's fine and they said they

needed to set up a season two i think they're gonna have one um but i think in this world of everybody says there's nothing except remakes and Marvel movies and shit, this is like wholly original. Maybe there's like some Black Mirror type shit. There's some Black Mirror. There's some Saw. There's some influence from other things. But, yeah, I mean, I guess not wholly original, but like.

There's nothing wholly original. That just doesn't exist. Yeah. Wholly original is a fallacy. Yeah. It's got a lot of influences from other places you can see. But I also didn't know what it was going in at all. Yeah. So that is a fallacy. Yeah. It's just, it's got a lot of influences from other places you can see. But I also didn't, I didn't know what it was going in at all. Yeah.

So that's what I mean. Going, if you just are like, I'm just going to put on this show because I've heard good things about it, and you see what unfolds, you're like, oh, whoa, I didn't think this was coming. You know? It's usually, you know, everything you watch is like, I've got to get redemption for my family. I've got to save the kidnapped person. I've got to move the drugs. And this was like, no, no, no. We're all over the

fucking... There's a lot going on here. So Squid Game is my number one recommendation right now. Must watch. Go binge it as soon as you possibly can. I'm in love with Se Hyuk. I saw you say that. I was very surprised. I didn't think that was your type.

Oh, boy. Se Hyuk is... I think she's like a model or something.. I didn't think that was your type. Oh, boy. I've seen a couple other people tweet about that. Say, yuck is. I think she's like a model or something. She is, but it's not her look. I mean, she is stunning. She's got like freckles and she's gorgeous, but she just looks like she would hate me. The last person on earth that would date you.

Oh, God. She would despise everything about me. All right. Am I the Asshole today is brought to you by SimpliSafe. SimpliSafe is the number one home security company, and they just launched their wireless outdoor security camera. So now they've been keeping inside the house safe. Now they've got the outdoor security camera with all the advanced tech and security features you need,

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Am I the asshole for refusing to stop wearing my favorite pair of pants? My girlfriend, 23, and me, 22 male, keep fighting over a certain pair of pants that I love to wear. The pants are slightly darker in real life. I love to wear. This is perfect. You got a picture of the pants? Yes. Hang on.

I love them almost, you know, this is just serendipity. I love them almost everywhere. I wear them almost anywhere when we grab to go. I'm sorry. I can't read today. I love to wear them almost anywhere. When we go to grab food from the local grocery store or shop. When we go walk our dog.

Or when we're just chilling inside. They are light and airy. But also long. So I'm almost never too warm or too cold in them. They are probably my favorite pair to wear. And thus I wear them very often. My girlfriend on the other hand thinks that they were made by the devil himself. She hates orange.

And she hates the pattern on the pants and she hates them as a whole because she believes they are ugly and inappropriate to wear. She also says I should get some proper pants to wear. Also, some of her friends trash talk the pants, as does my only male friend who cares about fashion. Now, I do admit I have zero fashion sense, but I believe the pants do not look awful for shopping in the supermarket or walking the dog. I also believe that I'm not there to impress anyone. I just want to feel good.

I would like her to like what I wear, but I do not want to dress well, so I am dressed for others, if that makes sense. I have offered to buy the same type of pants in a different color, but she dislikes the pants as a whole. I do not own many pants, and I would like to buy a nicer, more formal pair, but I think they are hard to come by. Money is not a problem, I think. Obviously, this is not a

my husband didn't come to his own birth and I got mad type of post and none of us are real assholes. We're just tired of talking about it and want Reddit to solve this for us. These are the pants. I mean, what are we doing here? You can't wear those pants.

You tell me, John. Yeah, but okay, but here's the deal. These pants are, we'll put a picture in if you're watching YouTube. All the more reason to head over to the YouTube KFC radio, subscribe. You have to watch now because John dresses like an asshole

and somebody spooks on a day. That's not a new thing. Right, that's what I mean. You have to watch. You have to watch because because John dresses like an asshole and somebody spooks him. That's not a new thing. Right. That's what I mean. You have to watch. You have to watch because there's always something to see. And this guy is wearing pants that are checkered like almost like a tablecloth. Yeah.

But they're green checkered. They're like green and yellow checkered. And then from like a little above your knee to the middle of your shins are just pink orange squares. Yeah, okay, let me see this. That looks like the legs were like stitched in. Here's the deal. Here's why this guy can't wear these pants. Because he's this guy.

I can wear these pants because I can already look at this outfit right now and say what I would do differently and I'd pull it off. This guy... I don't like this. I don't like that you say this. If you're wearing...

You know what? I'll tell you, you're dense. you're wearing You know what I'll tell you You're dense You're gonna be on a fine line The guy who can pull These outfits off Is not the guy who says I can pull these outfits off

Oh but I've always had I can pull these off It's just But it's not like Oh it's some crazy difference It's just like You can't wear blue with that You can't wear red shoes with that

It's pretty simple to fix It's like It's just have a fucking brain There's no fixing that And there's no fixing this Those pants You could get away with It. Those pants you could get away with. Those pants you can get away with at the Met Gala, bro. You could get away with those pants.

But they're asshole pants. You're the asshole, bro. But what you're wearing with them lets me know that you don't have what it takes to wear those pants. Okay? And I'm the asshole here. Have we done an Am I the Asshole yet? Where it turns out the guy talking about it is the asshole? Because we've just breached it.

Yeah. Yeah, this is what bothers me. This is what bothers me. And I know this is just how it goes. Fashion, trends, things come in and out of style. But like, you know, a matter of months ago or last year, if I'm wearing those pants, you'd think I'm the biggest dickhead in the world. And now it's just cool because somebody said so.

Yeah. That's annoying. I mean, it's annoying. It's just, yeah, the world's annoying. Yeah, but you have to understand why. Yeah, well, cars look like changes. Everything looks like changes, and it's annoying, but that's just the way the world works. But it's not really.

What TV shows are change, what movies are change. Yeah, but it's almost more like if all of a sudden cars just started to look exactly like they looked like two years ago, and we now say they look good. It's not like it's new. Like, cars are always evolving and changing. Right. This is like, these are pants, like baggy corduroy pants were in at one point. Yeah.

And then cars go retro, fucking beer cans go retro. Beer cans. Like logos. Like, ah, we'll do the old one point. Yeah. That. And then cars go retro. Fucking beer cans go retro. Like things. Beer cans. Like logos. Like, ah, we'll do the old one again. That's cyclical. That's what's cool. Right.

But it's always determined by just somebody telling you that that's now cool. Yeah. As long as, you know, as long as you. I mean, that's just what the world is. No, not really. Yeah. Because that guy had that dickhead corner where he's like, I don't want to dress for other people.

Like, okay, well then you're just People are going to be like, well, you look like an asshole Like, oh, I don't want to follow trends I want to dress the way I dress And I'm going to dress that way my whole life And at one point I'm going to be like, alright, you're dressed like a dick But that's you That's how you dress, but it just happens to be that you follow the trends

I don't get mad about it Me and my girlfriend can't stop arguing But he's not mad about it, he's just saying He's the one who's like, I just want to wear this, the girlfriend's mad But he's like, I mean, he's making't get mad about it right this guy's mad well my girlfriend's up arguing but he's not mad about he's just saying he's the one who's like i just want to wear this the girlfriend's mad but he's like i mean he's making a reddit post about it that's like i'm not mad well the end of it's like we just if you read this edit he's like i haven't laughed this long in a long time he's the one who's just like i want to wear these pants she's the one who's like you can't wear these pants but it give it like six months maybe those pants that makes sense like if you're like if you go out with someone and you're like like you just look like an idiot you know i don't want

to be seen with you you look like that's that's reasonable in a relationship i don't know i think i i think that you can't i think you either i think you can't date that person then i don't think you can tell them to change their pants i think if he's like these are my absolute favorite pants and i love them i think you either have to to be like – if the person you're dating tells you that they love something, that this is like – it brings them comfort and they like something and they want it and you don't like it, I think you either got to be like, well, then you have to decide whether you can't be around those pants anymore or you have to just like it. I see like every angle here.

I'm like matricing it, i get it all i get i get every argument from every person it all makes sense but like if you can if you wear those and you're fine being laughed at like if you're like no these are my comfy pants i like to dress like this and that's how i make my happy like it sounds to me like he just goes out in them and goes to the grocery store goes to the dog walk the dog but if you like staunchly defend it and like no these are the pants i like. You're just like, yeah, it looks ridiculous.

That's a different thing. True. If you're like, but if you're like getting upset because your girlfriend's like, your pants are fucking ugly and you're like,

no, these are my, we gotta, we gotta, we gotta splice the clip in of John standing on the table going, I think I look good.

I like the way I look. I look nice. Yeah, but I i'm like i'm laughing at it having i don't think you can make the argument i haven't laughed at how i look there no but i think deep down you i think i look good yeah but i'm also like i understand it's ridiculous that you can do both yeah this this looks ridiculous it's also looks good why is that i don't know it's so weird like i don't know if it does look good? I don't know. It's so weird. Like, I don't know if it does look good if you don't know you. I think it looks good if you know you.

I think if someone just sees you on the street, I think they'd be like, that guy looks ridiculous. But if you know you, you'd be like, you know, John always knows, like, the trends and what's coming. And, like, because what it comes down to is if you're the only person who dresses a certain way, when, like, people start to single you out like i've never even fucking seen a pair of pants that exist like that yeah you know those are like almost like i don't but pants for some professional you stay on your knees all day that's a that's a brick layers pants that is those those pants belong to a stone mason in the past life those are my masonry pants um but like some people will be dressing like this you know this season right or something probably and then it'll make and it makes more sense because it's like oh you know there's other people wearing that because that's what's in stores and that's

what's that's the other thing too is like if that's what's going to be on the rack on the fucking uh at the stores that's what people are gonna wear so that's why the trends like matter it's like any algorithm it's like what tiktok feeds it what the stores feed that's what people are going to wear. So that's why the trends matter. It's like any algorithm. It's like what TikTok feeds you, what the stores feed you, you're going to buy. Right. But if you're the only guy wearing your masonry pants, that's a different story. Yeah, where do you find that guy? I think I want a pair of these pants.

I think I want these reddit pants. Wear them with a white shirt. I think I like the attempt to match the sneakers to the patches. Matching your sneakers to things was what Ashton Kutcher did on Punk'd. Yeah, this is like a picnic table. Tablecloth. They're a lot. In order to lay bricks.

Quite a bit. Let's see what Reddit thought on this one. They say, people are basically like, these pants are too ugly. Like, yeah, we always side with the person who's just like comfortable in their own skin and wants to be comfortable, but these are too disgusting. They're tough pants. If you're not the kind of person who can pull off tough pants, they're really tough. My dad dresses, My dad dresses funny My mom makes fun of him all the time

But he rolls with it Yeah, dads can do it too Dads can tuck in their shirt My dad wears the Viva clothes all the time That's what my dad started Because we make fun of him He's like, fine, I'm just going to buy your clothes And guess what, can't make fun of me anymore, motherfucker

Well, my dad wears that and my mom makes fun of him for that she's like you're too old to wear that stuff stop what do you got all right this one this one isn't am i the asshole this is a-i-t-p am i a-i-a-i-b-a-p m-i-m-a-i-b-a- Yeah. Am I bad? No. Am I becoming? Close. Being. Being a pussy. Yes. Am I being a pussy?

My girlfriend, 19-year-old female, wants me, 20-year-old male, to hold my Glock to her head while we're having sex. And I've been taught gun safety since I was six years old. I'm not sure how to go about this. I don't want to do it, but every time... I'm pretty sure how to go about this. I don't want to do it, but every time... I'm pretty sure how to go about this. Don't do it. I don't want to do it, but every time she sees it, she says, you should hold this to my head while you rail me.

What do I do? Here's what you do. Well, she's a little too young, but I was going to say, break up with her and give me her number. Hold your gun to my head while you rail me there's something about when a chick says rail by the way that kind of revs my engine dude kind of lights my fire yeah i see it a lot on tiktok when it's like yeah it'll be like uh it'll be like when uh like it's it's a sound or a trend playing and it's like when i'm thinking

about uh like him railing me later or something, and I'm like, Jesus Christ. Tell you what, I didn't agree with you. Railing is, like, when they say cock. But they kind of. Like, when a girl says cock, you know she means business. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When she says rail, watch out, dude. You better strap in.

You better have your Roman ready because, like, there ain't no fucking around time now. She wants to get railed i think this is isn't this something that richie april did in the sopranos then he fucked tony's sister with a fucking held at gunpoint yeah i mean i know people especially this guy says you know i've been taught gun safety and so to them thankfully the people who follow the rules it's like you know the most important taught gun safety and so to them thankfully the people who follow the rules it's like you know the most important thing in the world you don't point it at people you do you clean it you do this you do that keep the safety on you keep it you keep the bullets locked away from you know all that shit but also can't you just like fucking make sure there's no bullets Dude, I... Come on. I... My elbow again. I don't...

What is this? I don't know. No, this always happens. Don't worry about it. But the... It is... I don't think... Because where does it end, Kevin?

You know where it ends? This is... It ends with that fucking gun going up her ass is where it ends. At the circus. At the fucking circus. It ends with you having to do fucking her ass is where it ends. At the circus. At the fucking circus. It ends with you having to do fucking a knife to her throat. Yeah. It ends with, you know where it ends?

It ends with two dead bodies. It ends with maybe best case scenario, it ends with you and the slammer. Yeah. Because guess what? One day she's going to find a text on your phone she didn't like, and she's going to tell the police she used to fuck you. With a gun. She wants, you know, you do it enough, and then guess what? One day she wants to put it on camera. Yeah. And then she's gonna tell the police she used to fuck you with a gun she's got she wants you know you do it enough then guess what one day she wants to put it on camera yeah and then get she's

yelling a lot guess what you're it's because she's a fucking criminal master absolutely everything that in the moment is hot and consensual one day is can be used against you in a court of law the text messages you send the things you do with your hands and your dick it can end up coming back to bite you in the ass. This is definitely. I agree that this is, you know, give an inch, take a mile where it's like, I'll fuck you with my gun to my head. And then you're right. Next thing is like, you know what the real danger is? Okay.

Now I want to hold the gun to your head. And it's like, well, I've had guns since I was six. You don't know what you're doing. I'm going to end up fucking dead if I give you the gun. You fucking psychopath. I think that. But also. If that – But also – If you –

But also – Stop being a pussy. If you're having this conversation with me at dinner, no chance. You're having this conversation with me when my penis is hard? Yes. That's what I was going to say is like this is – I have always said I will do anything once, and that includes put a gun to your fucking skull. Okay?

I just won't say no. I'm not proud of it. I should say no. Where does this end? It ends with you dead and me in jail? Absolutely. But I'm at least going to try it. That is the truest shit ever said.

You know what it is? It's like, my girlfriend wants me to point a glock to her head during sex what do you recommend i do i recommend you stop you do it let's see you do it but i mean that only say for a few more years probably you know what i think though um i think what you do is you get a toy gun. Get like a fucking – Is she one of the difference? Yes. Get like a BB gun or some shit that's like non-lethal, something that looks really real.

And then you fucking – You know when they like kind of jam it around? Yeah. You really – That would annoy me. I'm going to pull a trigger. God damn it hurts. You know what you do?

You know what you do? Be like, okay, fine. And then you like – You're rough with this shit. And then you're like, you're rough with this shit. So then she's like, we're not doing that ever again. Like, you got to make sure it's a one and done. The chance of that backfiring, though? Yeah, like she likes it too much. And then it's like, fuck, now I got to get a shotgun out next time.

This thing ends with, let's go, we're fucking honey. Man, that's a tough one. i feel like ultimately i'll do anything i i was joking i don't think i can do that i i i i've held a gun one time i did not yeah i wasn't holding a person's head i usually yeah i usually really i don't enjoy anything guns related but but also just being honest like i don't know. That would truly be the devil and angel on my shoulder. I am very squeamish around guns. I'm a fucking libcuck northeast city slicker guy. I don't really need to play with them.

I don't need to go to the shooting range. I don't get off on them. It doesn't make me feel powerful. All that shit. But also when I'm in the bedroom, I'll probably just say yes. So I'm like, which one will win out? That's unstoppable force versus a movable object. Yeah.

That's why I'll never have a gun. Reason one is I don't use it on myself. Reason two is no one asks me to use it on them. And that's a jar. Yeah. I feel like, yeah, that ends up in other places. And then she's asking you to pull the trigger and stuff. It's just stop.

And by the way it was like 19 and 20 that was right yeah yeah jesus yeah christ yeah you two are going to prison at some point in your life i mean that girl let me just say this i got five more four more let me just say uh if you like in the in your world of i don't want to kink shame i don't want to stop anybody from living out their dreams or whatever. But it should kind of be like a steady ascension. Start with a finger where it

shouldn't go. Eventually get into some rougher stuff. A choke here and a spit there. Different holes. And it just steadily goes. If you're 19 and you're doing glocks to the head what do you you gotta leave room for 45 yeah you gotta start thinking if 19 year old me has a glock to the

head what is 50 year old me doing what is what is a 19 year old female she doesn't even hit her sexual peak until she's like 39 or whatever yeah then she's gonna be like adriana chadrick she's gonna be chained up like an animal fucking penis can't even walk by on her peripheral before she goes nuts. Christ almighty. Voicemails are brought to you by Upstart. I'm going to need Upstart to pay my recommended taxes, apparently, because Upstart will help you consolidate your debt and manage your debt, get a loan if you need it,

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Yo, what's up, KFC, Fights, and the rest of the crew. I was just listening to your top five about best gym games, and it just reminded me of, I guess, collection of sense stories. But when I was younger, I would always make sure that we got Dr. Dodgeball. I would always try to pick Dr. Dodgeball in the game because then I would be the doctor and I knew all my crushes in elementary school weren't going down. And I thought I was the hero.

I thought I was hung, you know, saving all of them. So I guess the question is, what weird thing did you do to a kid, I mean, you did as a kid that made you feel, like, heroic, or you thought, yeah, I'm gonna get the girl because of this. Like, what was something dumb? Like, for example, me was just, me thinking, picking, like, Resident Girls and Dr. Dodgeball

was gonna give me their hearts, which is pretty dumb. I was like, why aren't you kissing me at the end of the game? I just carried it, but it never happened. My bomb-ass gym teacher, I thought, you know, he invented all these games and came up with all this shit. I thought this was an original one. Maybe this kid is from fucking Valley Forge, Pennsylvania, and he knows. Dr. Dodgeball is, there's one person who, like if you get hit, I'm reading it now.

You're basically like a medic. So you're playing dodgeball, and if you get hit, you're usually frozen frozen and one person can come and like tag you and he brings you back to life okay sometimes it's secret so sometimes you have to wear a penny so you know who the doctor is and then sometimes there's secret dr dodgeball where so then the other team is obviously trying to get the doctor out because he can keep your team alive yeah yeah so then there was secret dr dodgeball where like one person would be nominated and he would secretly try to revive people. There's a version of this with tag too, right?

Freeze tag? Probably, yeah. Yeah, yeah. You can unfreeze people. But usually anybody can unfreeze you from your team. This is one guy. So this guy would be Dr. Dodge. He would be the doctor because he would go tag girls and free them and be like,

I'm going to fuck you with a Glock to your head. So what weird things or silly things did you do as a kid that you thought were going to be smooth or like I was going to be the man? Goddamn, that's a tough one. It is all stuff like this, though, like in field day or gym class or recess. I can definitely remember when i was telling you about wall ball yeah at that same school wall ball was winner stays on and if you like there would be times where you'd be on the playground and one dude is like the the winner

for like all of recess and like people would gather around there'll be a line of kids waiting to play and all of a sudden you'd be like yeah i've won like seven in a row motherfuckers and that that's more just like a macho that's that's tail tail as old as time like be good at the sports like win the game win the girl sort of thing but i remember thinking like if i can win a few games dodgeball of uh wall ball here like i'm walking out here with a girlfriend okay i i have i've won just came to mind. Oh, I got one too. So one – I actually – I think I referenced it last episode also. That's probably why it's on my brain is I would take the blame in class all the time. I was like, I don't give a fuck.

I mean, yeah, no kidding. What? I mean that's just like so you. Yeah. Like I brought up – Who did it? I remember one was like throwing the eraser. I talked about throwing the eraser. Yeah. Yeah got that was one specific instance in like third grade like

i remember you saying it being thinking like that was oddly specific yeah i was like i did that took the fall for kids i used to do it regularly like i can understand if it's like well we all have to stay after class if no one owns up to it so i'll just oh no no yeah it wasn't it was yeah it wasn't like okay that's fair yeah i get I get that. That's like honorable. Yeah. And then the other thing I used to do because I thought it made me look like a badass is in like little league baseball and like that. Like players are pitching to us from that age basically through high school.

If I got hit, I'd say I didn't get hit. I'd get hit. For all the girls watching. Yeah. And the young ones would be like, take your bass. I'd be like, nah, it didn't hit me. Even if it, like, plunked you? Like, if it plunked me, plunked me.

Yeah, yeah. But I was like, you know, like, I'd jump back and hit my foot. I don't know, I'd hit something and I'd hit a rock or something like that. And I was just like, I'm a fucking badass, man. I want to, what do you think about me? I want to go single? Fucking no thanks. Yeah, like, pitch is getting off easy right now.

The thought that there was some, like, girls in the stands being like, John Henry doesn't get hit by pitch. I was going to say, there's no girls even, like, watching your Little League games, you know? No, that was like, here's the thing. North Park, people watch them. Well, then maybe you're right. Maybe you would.

No, no, no, no, no. It didn't work. No. I remember going on, did you ever do, like, field trips to, like, a wilderness, like a woodsy place? Like we went to somewhere in the Catskills. We went to this place called Green – it was called Green Kill. And it was basically like a summer camp, but you only went for like a day.

So we did like very summer campy type of activities that usually involved like teamwork things. A lot like fucking Squid Game games squid game games where you have to get across the river and you know like i remember one specifically it was like you you had like little islands of like wood and things and you had planks that you could lay down and get people across but you only had like two planks you have to get people over and all that kind of shit i would was my time to spit some game. I would always find my crush there. Kevin, I notice you have a lot of implication situations. What did I say last week? It was hiding in bunkers during manhunt.

Yes, yes. A little stuck on his plank out here. No, but doesn't that make the most sense? That's like when you're in're in like the fucking action movie when it's like, I'm going to save you. We're going to get across the river or whatever.

But that would, I would always, and you're doing like trust falls and shit and those dumb fucking activities. And I would always like pair off with somebody there being like, yeah,

if I do the trust fall really good, she's going to fucking, the last thing in the world that anybody would give a fuck about. Oh, I disagree. You think,

you think that was working? If you don't kiss me, I'm going to drop you. That's an implication situation. It's implied, is it not? You go over the kiss before the trust fall. It's just out there. Hey, you haven't fallen off the table yet. I don't think there's much else that I...

I just never even tried to be a badass. Oh, during gym class, like presidential award type shit, I could always do the sit-ups. Oh, you mentioned this. And sometimes I could do the sit-ups. Oh, you mentioned this. And sometimes I could do the pull-ups. Didn't you fart one time, though? I did, yeah. So that year, John, it backfires. That year, Becca

did not work with Becca. But I remember getting the presidential level and just still banging him out. I could go on forever! Date me! I can do 54 sit-ups in a minute.

I did that, but it was with the sit and reach because I was just flexible. It's so funny you say that, first of all, because that ain't getting any bitches. The be sit and reach. Nope. When you think about it, it probably should. That's like the one thing that might actually come into play.

That's what I always thought. Is that he is flexible in the bedroom. It never. But no, it doesn't. But I. He's like, I can put it on my head. Again, you get to a certain age, it comes into play. I crushed the V sit and reach.

And I just remember it was me and all the girls. And I remember being like, I might start faking it. I might start being like, can't go any further. Meanwhile, I can like, you know, fucking put my whole palms on the ground and shit. Are you still, can you still do it now? Yeah, actually the other day I tried stretching for the first time. And like, I can still put my palms flat on the ground. That's pretty crazy.

That's insane. Yeah. You can still do that right now? Yeah. I can touch my toes. I don't think I can do, do palms on the ground right now. Palms on the ground pretty crazy. That's insane. You can still do that right now? Yeah. I can touch my toes. I don't think I can do... Do palms on the ground right now. Palms on the ground is crazy.

You can't even touch your kneecaps. I can get, like, probably to mid-shin. That's deplorable. Yeah, he's like, if I'm going to do this, I'm going to fucking get it. Wow! Not a single problem. We're all doing it now. Yeah, now you got it.

I mean, I'm going to tear a hamstring. I'm going to have a problem later, but yeah. I'm going to tear a hamstring trying to get to my palms. I'm also particularly stiff right now, so. Go to... That's fucking impressive. I can get fingertips on the ground,

but I can't do palms. Go to the hospital. My fingertips are on the ground, but I can't do bombs. Can he get to his ankles? Hold your ankles, bitch. Don't bend those knees. Don't bend them. You're cheating. With your fucking Mr. Smee pirate pants. It's hard to tell that he's bending in those pants, though.

I know. You can't tell because he legitimately has pirate pants on. I think you're bending. That's it. That was actually further than I expected. You were hovering above the toe tops. I'll tell you what. It feels kind of good right now, though.

I've got to do it again. You've got to run it back? It wasn't on camera. It was, but not a lot. Oh, this one's on now. That is so easy. Dude, Nick, I'm turned on right now. He just went.

Kiss the knee. Kiss the knee. Kiss the bunny on the nose. Look at that. That is insane. That was even crazier. Yeah. All right.

Wow. You are a special boy, Nick. All right. Last voicemail of the day is brought to you by. Hang on a second. I think Pat just came out of the closet finally. Oh, boy. Oh, my heavens.

Pat and our boy Joey Camasta. I mean, they definitely fucked. I'm not laughing. They fucked. You laugh at that. There's no way there's no way that you do this photo shoot

I mean it has to be for Joey's show it absolutely is and looking at their outfits this had to do I'm sure one day in school

Pat fucked a wrestler and they had so they had to wear wrestling leotards singlets whatever but these pictures again

go watch on YouTube actually I don't even know if I, at your own behest, that you're, buyer beware here. They had to have fucked you up. Joey got a donk on him though. I mean,

look at that thing. That's, fucking Pat looks like olive oil from Popeye. Joey probably put a heart, you probably cracked Pat open. Last voicemail of the day is brought to you by Thursday Boot Company. Thursday Boots is a company that we have collaborated with many times. Over the years, we made our own customized boots.

This year, we finally got into the sneakers game. We collabed with their sneakers subsidiary, which is called Nothing New. So Thursday Boots makes, obviously, the boots. You can get Chelsea boots and military boots, any style of boot, any color, any material, all of it available at Thursday Boots. And now nothing new is their sneaker brand, which is all sustainable sneakers made out of, you know, sustainable materials and recycled materials and whatnot. And we each have designed our own pair. Fights, the Sad Boys Season 1s sold out instantly.

We're working on the restock now. So that'll be available I recommend going to sign up for the waitlist go to the store at BarstowSports.com find the Sad Boys season 1's and there's the waitlist I recommend that the Moonman 1's are the pair that I'll be dropping

later in October it unfortunately got pushed back to late October but I believe the date we're shooting for now is October 26th. So the Moon Man ones will be out. We'll put some pictures in the YouTube video, the stock photos and the shit that we took, which when we first started making the sneakers, we walked into their showroom, and we looked at all the different models and all the different styles they have,

and they said, do you want to do a low top? At this point and all the different styles they have and they said do you want to do uh i want to do a low top at this point it was still the summer and they said do you want to do a slip-on or you want to do laces and immediately i was like laces i just think laced up sneakers look better but then i they made a a sample of the slip-ons as well and the slip-ons i wore like into the ground right away, just sliding them on and off. And I asked them if they can just do both. And they were like, we've never even like heard of that. I never even like considered it. So they were like, fuck it, let's do it.

We'll see if we can make it. So they rearranged some of the elastic and some of like the laced up eyelets. And so now the Moonman ones, you can, it's your choice. You can either lace them up or if you want to take the laces out and just rock them as slip-ons, they are good to go either way. So your choice. You can swap in and out the laces because the elastic is still going to hold your foot in place.

So kind of a new, versatile take on the low tops that can be slip-on or laced up like black canvas material, the leather toe. It's just like a good everyday staple shoe. That will be out October 26th. Essential. Essential. A must-have. And so that – I made like the dark color offering. Those are also going to sell out in 10 minutes.

So be ready at 10 a.m. Absolutely. I think we're even trying. We're hoping that they can maybe include a few more. I don't know if they can get it ready in time. But Fights got you the white pair. These are the dark pair. Both must-haves for your closet.

So mine will be late October. And Sad Boys Season 1s, we're working on the restock now. So check out Thursdayboots.com. Check out Nothing New. Follow them on social. If you want quality boots, you go to Thursday. You want some comfortable, stylish sneakers, you go to Nothing New. And make sure you got all the essentials for your closet.

Last voicemail. Let's go. Hey, what's up, KFC and Spites? So I was just driving around, noticed you know people in their yards they got like mr. fence if they got a brand new fence the company always like puts their little lawn sign out for a little while so you know people driving by see the nice fence like okay he's really got it or you know new roof they always get the roof sign out or paint or whatever. My question is, what would be the worst thing to have advertised in your front lawn?

Like Mr. Smith's therapy or... Well, there's an antiquated date. I don't know, if you got stomach problems, like a stomach doctor, or it even could be stuff in your house like oh um like dildo website Mr. Smith's body removal

like when you get your house painted the people who just painted your house they put like a little thing in your lawn that says like you know so this is like what thing would you not want advertised that's basically happening at your house? He said therapy. What? I don't even understand it.

Like you're a therapist? No, like you receive therapy. You're a therapist. Oh, okay. Yeah, that one's not. So like, you know, it's got to be something embarrassing or incriminating or... This is... Fuck. Steve's Artificial Insemination Station.

Wow. Wow. So that would mean... You got it in the basement. Huh? Yeah, that's turkey bitters in the basement. Yeah, yeah. That's Don't Play It's Toss.

I had one. This is growing up far over. By the way, just trig. Get working on it right now. Get working on the logo for Steve's Insemination Station right now. Steve's Artificial Insemination Station. That's S-A-I-S, Steve's Artificial Insemination Station. Say's.

We'll work on that. Man, if we could really get that into ISIS, that'd be great. The Gillian Keyes skit, have you seen that? No. That's exactly the premise of Gillian Keyes. Oh, have you seen that? No. That's exactly the premise of Gillian Keyes. Oh, the car one. ISIS. Come on down to Bob's ISIS dealer.

To be clear, we are not affiliated with the terrorists. But remember when that happened with one of the guys? Someone sold their truck, and then his truck got bought by ISIS. Yeah, it was like a construction worker. I feel like they're always driving little pickups. Yeah, it's like a little Toyota pickup. They just put the turret on top, and they just have a machine gun. I'm going to see if I can get an unbelievable backfire.

Very funny. I'm going to go to an ISIS construction truck. So he's just like, yeah, so I sold it to this guy in my neighborhood for like, you know... Texas plumber sues car dealer after his truck ends up on Syria's front line. Syria? Mark 1 plumbing. Oh, it still had the fucking...

Yeah. That is... That's honestly the funniest thing I've ever seen. Mark One Plumbing sells his pickup to, you know, local Ford dealership. They sell it to some guy who ships it overseas to fucking Syria, and it's turned into a terrorist mobile. Holy shit.

No. Imagine just... Wait, where'd he go? Like, goddamn Syrians couldn't just like... Look at this fucking... 409-935-4188. Bro, look at this fucking picture! This is more clear.

Hang on, wait, I gotta go back. I gotta go back. Oh, no, no, no, no. How the fuck? Okay, so from that one to this one. Yes, here it is. Boom. Yo, can I tell you something really funny?

The pictures of the Taliban and ISIS and all that, they're always smiling delightfully. What is up with this thing where we take pictures of the Taliban in pool floats and partying and stuff? The Taliban's always dancing or floating on pool floats, laughing and smiling. It's always just ridiculous scenes where they're having a good time. You guys were off Friday Night Pints last week. This is exactly what they talked about. Really? Oh, yeah. You'll have fucking CNN

being like, the Taliban has retaken Kabul, and there's a picture of them playing hopscotch. They're playing all the lawn games we're talking about. The Taliban's playing mat ball out there. Them and the duck boats where the guy just brought his RPG on the duck boat. Yeah, duck he's got a fucking rocket launcher and they're just peddling around look can you imagine being mark and like you're sitting home after a long day of plumbing imagine snaking drains and stuff and then you see your shit look the fucking bumper cars taliban bumper

cars and they're just like little kids. You know what it is? It's because they are all like they are their brains are, you know, not formed all the way. They're like severely uneducated people

who have the brains of like seven-year-olds. So they're just like, oh my God. Oh my God. This is so much fun. It's like when you take your children to like

ride Playland. It's like they're just seeing that shit for the first time. Mark the plumber. Pour himself a glass of whiskey. He has a big old white mustache. You see the picture if you're watching, and he's like, yeah.

Bro, I thought you didn't see it yet, and you were just like, oh. No, he was seeing it. No, that top quarter. But you know that he sold that one, probably upgraded. He's probably like, oh, now I got the F-350. Got home, got my whiskey, my chicken steak. Might as well pop on the news real quick. You gotta be fucking kidding me.

The centers in Syria have, like, you know, taken over the city and killed the women and children. Driving this car, Mark 1 plumbing. I mean, what are the fucking chances of that? And the fact that, like, the Taliban can't just, like, you know, I don't know, throw a coat of paint on that. Can't just scrape out. They can't take off the decal. Can't hook up Mark.

Like, even the. Dude, he was only suing for a million dollars. Oh, I would sue for everything. And sue for so much more than that. Million dollars, I should even go to court. I should just pay that because. They like. Oh, yeah oh yeah yeah you're right absolutely we owe you a billion bucks that i feel like even the fucking isis guys would be like bro let's paint this over yeah like come on we can't do that guy that dirty we can't fuck over mark that bad you know what we're about to

go do in this fucking truck? You know what? Mark doesn't need that on his hands. Right. Let's go backwards. Love that move. On the elliptical backwards is the game. Gotta work those hamstrings, man. And they're all...

Look at them always running around all excited. These people, I swear to God, are... With fucking... They're just driving in circles. I swear to God, are... The... Of... With fucking... Are they just driving in circles? Google U.S. troops teach jumping jacks. Yeah, the best. I mean, it is...

The fucking... When they clap... It jumps. It doesn't make any... Oh, it's amazing. Well, that's why when they say, like, they're like, these are the people that, you know, we're training to win the fight. And then it's like, well, these are the people on the other side.

And they're the guys who can't even lift the fucking bar. Oh, it's the best. Wait, no, not that. I don't think this is the one. Oh, no. Well, that's like the one. Yeah. And you see the guy pointing.

Like, no, no, no. Stop. Wait. Get them together first. But, like, imagine trying, like, I don't know. Like, the first time I ever tried to do a jumping jack, I was 28 years old. I'd have no idea what I was doing. I don't know.

Maybe, but I also think. I still do. I do jumping jacks regularly. I still fuck up jumping jacks all the time, bro. I do jumping jacks probably every day. How do you fuck them up? Like, just like sometimes it gets off beat. So like.

But you get off beat like once. You're right. And then you get it together pretty fucking quickly. I'm telling you, man. That looks like if I'm trying to teach Keegan and Chet to do jumping jacks, that's what they do. These are fucking grown men who are going to go fight a war. Okay? Bro, what was this voicemail about?

No one look it up. Don't say. I don't even remember. Oh, I know. It was like if you wanted a sign outside your house. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Which is, like, I hope that guy was super high.

That's a weird question, man. Yeah. Sometimes I'm, like, thinking. Oh, but we never got to what I was going to say. There was one in Fall River. It was at the bottom of Pleasant Street, I believe. It was called Ned's Dental. And it was clearly in someone's garage.

And not a nice home. Like a three-story, like, individual family, three-family home where someone was just doing dental out back. I wonder if it's definitely, like, you know, the government found out about it and shut it down. That was just a guy with a pair of pliers who was like come on in I'll rip the teeth out of your head Yeah right I'll change your oil while we're doing it It is If I could find the sign

If someone out there could find me the sign I think it was Pleasant Street I'm not really sure It was like just hand painted On the side of a house Like Ned's dental Back here It was just hand-painted on the side of a house. Like an arrow pointed. Ned's Dental back here. It was insane.

It was insane. There has to be a picture of this. I mean, how low do you got to be to go to that? Again, I think it was Pleasant Street, but it's the bottom of a steep hill in the north end of Fall River. It's called Ned's Dental. I'll never forget it. It was as scary as walking past a Hot Topic,

driving by Ned's Dental. You thought someone was gonna pop out and grab you. Yeah, that's like the premise of a horror movie. Yeah. The dental murderer. There was a story recently about some, I think a kid who got some sort of large toy

like stuck up his ass. What was it? Fuck. It was, uh, it was on the blog not too long ago. I mean, I was just thinking if someone made a house call to get that thing out of your asshole. Like having that on your fucking... No idea how it happened. Million to one shot.

Yeah. All right. Well, wrap it up on that one. Yeah. Go support Mark One Plumber. We'll put up a picture of Fights Is Fit. We'll have you vote on that one. Go support Mark one-plummet. We'll put up a picture of Fights Is Fit. We'll have you vote on that. Go over to Twitter and vote whether it's hot

or not. Hop on Twitter and let us know. Give us any feedback on what was the best voicemail today? There's only two. So, the other one. What was the other one? What did you used to do to impress girls? Yeah, yeah, yeah. what was the other one what did you used to do

to impress girls oh yeah yeah yeah that was a good one hop on twitter let us know what you used to do when you were a kid

to try to impress girls or boys if the girls used to do anything to impress boys girls were like I just showed up and I breathed that's all it took

but give us feedback on am I the asshole and hit the voicemail line 646-807-8665 we always want new voicemails check out the new updates on the ATI app, get on the wait list for the Sad Boys Season 1's, be on the lookout

for the Moon Man ones, we've got the new color block hoodies that are out right now those are fucking fire they got the red and blue Nintendo Switch color. We got the Easter color and the mint colors as well. So new hoodies are out. Sad Boy season, let's define it right now.

I had that thought, by the way, because temperature for me is very different than temperature for you. When I wake up, like fucking Sad Boy season has already happened if you wake up at 6 a.m. Yeah, I would say 7 a.m. Temperature at 10 a.m., three days below 60. Three days below 60. It's coming. And we will drop everything. We got stuff coming.

We got heater stuff coming. I mean, like tomorrow at 10 a.m., at 9 a.m. at 61. Tomorrow at 8 a.m. will be 59 degrees. 10 a.m. is 63. So if the forecast is off a little bit and it's, say, 59 at 10 a.m., we could technically have the first day to start. And we'll see if we can get through it. And then the clock resets. You've got to go back to day one, you know, one day if it's above 60 degrees.

So place your bets. What day will Sad Boy season official? October 17th. Fuck, I was going to say that. I was going to say October 21st. Okay. October 27th. 27th. Late in the game. Jackie? July.

October. What are we I was going to say she wasn't paying attention at all. I can see that on her face Thank you. Thank you.