KFC Radio - Steve-O || KFC Successfully Didn't Get Drugged at His 20th High School Reunion

Episode Date: November 14, 2023

Timecodes: 06:45 KFC had his 20th high school reunion 28:44 Alex Cooper coming to the office 35:06 John's calling is being the beloved podcaster's husband 50:36 Red Zone for c***ing skit 57:32 Thank god for Hitler 01:06:00 JFK used to let his boy b**w him 01:12:20 how to take an elevator with a woman 01:23:32 Video Voicemails +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Stacker2 Energy: Go to https://Stacker2.com/Barstool for $5 off. Pirate Water: Go to https://drinkpiratewater.com to find Pirate Water in a location near you or order on gopuff Factor: Head to https://FACTORMEALS.com/kfc50 and use code kfc50 to get 50% off. Ritual: Visit https://ritual.com/KFC to start Ritual or add Essential For Men to your subscription today.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Now, I know some people would be like, if your best friend sucks your d***, you're gay. But that's not gay. JFK, it's not gay if your friend is like, I'm gay, and I love some d***, and you're like, I mean, you can suck mine. That's not gay. Tickets are on sale for KFC Radio Live. Click the link in the bio.

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We are coming to you live from a cleaned-up KFC Radio studio. And I am disheartened to report it still looks like shit it was a great effort by Jackie I kind of disagree it looks infinitely better oh infinitely better but my point being I don't know

I think we should have just stayed in the old room yeah well yeah we gave Jackie did a great job she's nothing to do with Jackie she was texting me all weekend do you need this Well, yeah, we gave – Jackie did a great job. She's blood, sweat, and tears to clean this fucking place up. She was texting me all weekend. Do you need this? Do you need that? What can I throw out?

I was like, just get rid of fucking all of it. There's spray bottles. I think it looks good. It looks as good as this space can look. Yeah, that's what it comes down to. So shout out to Jackie for making it happen. We did – we were tempted. There's a bunch of bags.

She finished up cleaning everything and then bagged up like merch and samples and things that might be important, labeled one bag KFC, one bag John, one bag new merch, put it all on the couch, and we were tempted to just grab it and dump it all out in a pile in the middle of the floor. I actually took a picture of the-

What do you mean? I don't know. I just needed something to bond with the bag. I don't know. I went so far As to take a picture Of the four bags Sitting on this couch And

I was going to text it To the group And be like Wow nice job Jackie And then And then I was going to do it And be like Holy shit

Did you guys feel that Earthquake? Part of me still thinks You should do that Part of me still thinks You should do that Jackie would quit Jackie would quit.

Jackie would be well within her rights to quit if we did that. I just got to say, I think in all of the history of Barstool, how many unnecessary and weird things we've done, that wall is number one. Can you spin the camera all the way around? So it made sense sort of at the time. We were going to try to use this studio for – and this is actually a good lesson that I think finally like crystallized it in my head going forward. At the time, we were going to have this half of the room be the studio for the podcast. And that half of the room was going to be the studio for anything else you wanted to film. And that wall would be a green screen,

that wall would be a brick wall, and this wall, you could hang three different things and shoot three different cameras and have technically three different studios. And so what we had is this wall on wheels that spins out and then closes. And I remember at the time being like, okay, I mean, that's not something I've ever heard of or came up with, but like, cool.

Sounds great. I understand the logic. And I mean, we have never used that wall once and it has only been in the way of ATI every single time we're trying to film it. We just have to – and it's heavy and it's not an easily – like the hinges are fucked up. The wheels are fucked up. So it's not just like a – it's like lift, pull, and I just – it's such a good lesson as far as like you just don't need all the fucking – you just need like this.

You need a chair and a microphone, and that's fucking it. You need a green screen against the wall, maybe a ring light, and that's fucking it. And you can use all the bells and whistles. And, you know, I'm sure if you do it all to its potential, it's great. But, man, did we overthink that thing. That's become a hurdle, like a real detriment to wanting to do ATI. I got to move the wall. I got to move a wall. I got to move a wall.

It's like a rain day when you want to go to the gym. Yeah, it's like, I can't possibly go outside. Yeah, it's like a fake Manhattan wall on wheels. You know, it's just like, but it's a microcosm. It's symbolic of the whole thing where it's like, you just don't need them. But anyway, it's nice and cleaned up. We're back. Corduroy boys today.

Yeah. Patrick Corduroy is a tough look for the boys. I disagree. I think it looks good, but I think it's a little funky when two guys are wearing corduroy. I think we got less. This happened to me last this weekend. I came downstairs. One of my boys had corduroy on.

I had corduroy on. And then we had three other guys. It's like it's rather we all corduroy up or nobody corduroy up. Nobody corduroy up. You can't actually have one or five. I think corduroy is a popular enough material. I remember Dana Beers recently tweeted a picture of five dudes at a bar all in leather jackets.

That's too much. I think corduroy is okay. I feel like cord is a little bit rare. In the grand scheme of things, there's jeans and khakis and chinos, the khaki umbrella, that world. And then, like, down the road, there's the corduroy. Really? I have a lot of corduroy.

Yeah, but you're, you know, weird. Like, you're not. I think this is my sixth pair of corduroy pants. I have a lot of corduroys. I just don't wear them. I just don't wear. I get a lot of pants, and I just don't wear them. I just keep to my rotation.

It is actually crazy when you go through your wardrobe, and're like, I wear everything like three times a season. Right, right. It's like I don't need any of this. But anyway, the real reason I wore this is I wore this to the – I had my 20th fucking high school reunion this weekend, which was a – It was a great time. But leading up to it, I was like, I'm going to it I was like I'm gonna die soon I'm gonna die soon Like my life is

Legitimately over at this point I feel like I had My 15th forever ago Really? But no I've No I I've never

I went to I went to The grade above me 5th Grade above Grade above me Grade Above me's 5th That is hard to say

And I think I don't think I went to my 5th And then I haven't been 5th is stupid Grade above me's fifth. That is hard to say. I don't think I went to my fifth. Fifth is stupid. In hindsight, it's like we were all hanging out with each other still. It's like, this is dumb. But you're still in party mode, so it's just an excuse. But there's no reuniting really going on. Um, so I remember feeling like seeing, um, people like who, who have their 20th anniversary for college, high school, I don't know, whatever reunion, 20 years being like, you're a fucking ancient.

If you have a 20 year reunion, I guess I feel like more 25 is what I hear more often than 20. I feel like I remember my dad's 20th. Yeah. Like that's what I mean. College, college. He didn't go, but I remember the invitation and being like, I'm not going than 20. I feel like I remember my dad's 20th. Yeah, like that's what I mean. College, college. He didn't go, but I remember the invitation and him being like, I'm not going to that.

Fuck that, yeah. I mean, I don't know. So you did not go to any of your reunions? I didn't. I might have been around because there was a Newport. No, like I might have been around and might have seen them out at bars for my fifth. I think I went and did shit i

was like you obviously haven't had your 20th yet no will there be one like is is there someone like in your grade who'll organize and stuff i don't know would you go if there was is one i think probably i'm not i'm not against it i would i would say this after having gone i never i never doubted going i was like i'm gonna go i i liked a lot of the people I went to school with. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I just – I don't think there's any – unless you like – I don't know. Unless you've gone really south and you're really embarrassed or whatever, I think you should go. Because I went and – my school is, I guess, a little bit different from people. If I had like 1,000 people in my class, I maybe wouldn't go because it's like I'd probably just pair off and hang out with my friends.

And that's what we do anyway. i had 100 120 people in my class total and of that like i think the i think the the rsvp list was like 80 something and i think 60 something showed up so we just like filled out a room yeah and i was able to like hang out and see and talk with like literally everybody and it was great it was like I remember a bunch of people I forgot, a bunch of people I haven't seen, great conversations with people I never really did have conversations with in the first place. And I walked out of there feeling like I was like in the moment,

I was like emailing the girl who organized it. And I was like, can you send out an email? And everybody can put like their social media on it. I want to keep in touch with everybody. And like, you know, that's like the um you sent that yeah yeah afterwards yeah that's crazy yeah and then like you know it was like it was like within it was probably like the same night of I was like it's great to talk to this person that person and I'm sure within like two days I'll never talk to these people the same way again but in the moment I was like it was it was good for me who doesn't i'm always you know i don't want to do this i don't do that and and i did it and i was like that was awesome yeah

there's a lot of awesome people like a lot of people did a lot of interesting shit a lot of funny memories too there's one this guy unlocked this one memory for me we had one teacher an english teacher who was awesome he was the man and he was so much so the man that we basically let him get away with just kind of being a pervert. Every school's got that. So we had a senior talent show, which in hindsight was pretty fucking funny for a bunch of amateur high school kids

who don't know what they're doing. I probably wouldn't put it on today and think it's funny, but in the moment it was like we we wrote sketches we had like dances we did routines we had dialogue we did it all but we had a sketch i played the teacher and three girls in in my grade like three like the hottest chicks in our grade just dressed up in like britney spears school girl outfits walked out like flaunting it on stage like one at a time being like hi mr smith and i was like oh my god like like gawking at him and then at the end because he was fat i drank a bag of sugar and it was signed off on the crowd laughed the parents didn't care i don't even think the teacher cared

i was nuts i was like i don't know what's crazier the fact that he did that that we did that that all you guys got up on stage and did that and then i was like yeah give me give it to me or the fact that like nobody not a parent said a word nobody, wait a second. That's my daughter, and she's in his class. Like, what? Fucking crazy. That is. I feel like every school does have one of those, and it is funny. Like, 10 years ago, we just joked about it.

Everyone was fine. And I don't know. Everybody, you know, everyone's like. 20 years ago, yes. Everybody's like, you know. It's like, what old days? And I'm like, I don't know. It was fun to joke about.

Life was certainly easier. There were no protests at school. There was no worrying. There was no nothing. You just sent your kids to school and you crossed your fingers it was okay. And like 99% of the time it was. But I don't know if it's that good that we just have like open perverts in school. I mean like it's that good that we just have, like, open perverts in school. I mean, like, it's crazy, but I bet every school, everyone can be like, yeah, I know that teacher.

He was a great teacher. I learned so much from him. I actually remember the word lascivious because afterwards I said, what did you think of this kid? And he was like, it was a little lascivious. It means, like like a little too. A little on the nose. No, no. It was a little like, I think like perverted a little.

You're like, yeah, I agree. Debauchery. Like, yeah. That was the point, bro. Good. We nailed it. But I mean, it was funny. Like, you know, people just got some people just got fucking trashed.

There was one dude who I heard his wife was no plus ones are allowed. Wives. Oh, really? Girlfriends, boyfriends like nobody. That's cool. Awesome. Yeah, that's the way to do it. At first, I think a lot of people do like only spouses, but I think it should be nobody

because first of all, it becomes a whole fucking production money space, whatever. We just rented out the room that like all the high school um all the um sweet 16s were in it's like the same fucking room that we partied in for 16th birthday because we were in for this so we didn't do it like fancy it was just whatever and then it's you know you're just about the class and you can kind of like you don't have to put on a show for like oh my wife hey guys like my wife does not know that i you know you can do whatever you want but this one my wife thinks i was a hot shot or yeah yeah yeah or like she doesn't know that we like used to booze and you know party whatever but this one guy's wife i

heard called him for two straight hours just on repeat he didn't pick up what fuck yeah hell yeah i told you i'm going to reunion i'll be back tonight fuck you but it was i'll turbo call you till you die bitch it was a good scene though it was fun i i would i i i can't i don't know what other high school experiences are like uh i don't know whether they're like like if it's different sizes in different places if it's the same but if you are on the fence about going, I would absolutely go to it. It's so lame to say no to those things. I tweeted. I said, my high school reunion is tonight.

And I made a joke like on the way home I'm going to grab a coffin because I'm almost dead. And the first reply was this guy I went to high school with, which is so weird. We follow each other on Twitter. I have never seen a tweet of his ever. But on the night of the reunion, he was the first reply. And so I clicked on his profile and I saw he tweeted and said, my 20th high school reunion is tonight, but I'm not going

because I don't live in the past. I only look to the future. And I was like, get the fuck out of here. Like, what? That's so lame. You know what I mean? Unless mean unless you like listen if something went terribly wrong you really don't look great you really feel at your lowest i understand not wanting to parade yourself out there and be like look how far i've fallen i get that there are

certain people for sure but if you're like in it i actually it was there was a moment where a lot of the talk was i can't believe how good everybody looks like everybody had hair nobody gained weight everybody looked like pretty much the same and i was like all the people who didn't aren't here yeah i finally put it together we're missing about 40 people they're probably all fat and gross but uh so i get that but if not like i i think it's lame to say no to that shit just because if you're worried or you didn't like like i you know a bunch of people knew barstool and that's cool and all but even if i had a regular job or whatever i would have gone there's no like unless it is really bad i don't think there's any reason to say no it's like get over it yeah

no i agree slip it didn't matter it didn't matter that i was from barstool and she's a corporate lawyer and this like nobody even talked about what their jobs were. We just started drinking and reminiscing again. It had nothing to do with currently. It was all about back then. So who fucking cares? I'm with you on that. I walked out being very happy I went.

But I texted my mom and my sister. I have a group chat with them, right before I went. I said, my 20th reunion is tonight. I forgot to tell you guys. I'm going to see the whole gang, and I'm going. And my mom says to me, make sure you don't drink anything that's already been opened. And I said, Mom, do you think I'm going to get roofied? I'm a 40-year-old man.

Going to a high school reunion, you think I'm going to get roofied? I'm a 40-year-old man. Going to a high school reunion, you think I'm going to get roofied? And she said, I watch the news. She said, I watch the news. People know that you've got money now. You've got to be careful. And so now I'm like, let's take this a step further. You think I'm going to get, like, roofied and, like, held for ransom or something? They're going to somehow get money out of

it not just sexual pleasure and murder what is the what is the steps here and she texted me like in the in the middle of the night like in the middle of like you know the reunion like how are you doing and i said i'm good it's great and she wrote back is this code what is this code i mean i think she's at that point was somewhat joking but she wrote back is this code what is this code i mean i think she's at that point was somewhat joking but she was like is this code like when chris christie is standing with donald trump and i'm like i don't know what you're talking about anymore you're crazy you've gone crazy woman but i mean my mom being afraid i was going to get roofied at my reunion is a new one held captive bingo one of those like you wake up at the morning, you've been to, like, seven ATMs.

Right, right. I don't have any money yet. That's exactly what I was thinking. Like, you know, take $1,000 out at every ATM. Here you go, Steve from high school. There was one moment that was funny. This dude told me, he's like, you know, like, I see things have gone well for you. And I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

We start talking about it. And he's like, I remember, man, I remember. We were at Brian's house, and you sat down with mike and tom and i was there and you you you guys laid out your plan you were like we're gonna start this thing called barcelona sports and you know what i did i just said yeah yeah there's no way there's no way i could have looked that guy in the eye and said you completely fabricated that so i just i just let that guy in the eye and said, you completely fabricated that. So I just let that guy think that I came up with Barstool Sports in high school with two other friends.

What's my alternative there? No, dude. Not even one shred of that happened. I didn't even know about Barstool in high school, dude. It was nothing. I remember you sitting around starting that. Okay, totally, man. I literally did just that i was like yep yeah and then i quickly was just like how about you you know i'm doing taxes or whatever i'm like okay ever since then it's

yeah i remembered in that moment you know i always follow your dreams none of that none of that is true. And the absolute highlight, they had one of those they had one of those photo machine, photo booths. And this girl this girl was like, you know, everyone was waiting to

take group pictures and this one girl hopped in alone and was like, hang on real quick, hang on, I need new head headshots and use that to get her headshots really like you know because it's way like like like that's like that's like a toy yeah yeah yeah no i mean like obviously it's not going great like looking at cut corners whatever and it was somewhat joking but like because usually it's a wide shot so she like moved all the way in and then, like, got down, like, squatted down and, like, made it, like, so it was a head shot. I was like, that girl's making a passport to kidnap you, having a false, fake identity. You better watch your bank account, bro.

For real, it's all gone now. Did you see a dude on the Seahawks got his identity stolen by his wife's new boyfriend? No. His wife's new boyfriend? Earl. Ex-wife's new boyfriend. Earl Thomas. Really? Earl Thomas' ex-wife is now dating a dude who just took his picture, but all of Earl Thomas' information and made an ID like that and took him for like $2.9 million.

Hell yeah. I was like, dude, you know how fucking mad you got to be at your ex-wife if her new boyfriend runs you for a couple million? I fucking told you that guy sucked. Yo, for real. Like, that shit is messy anyway. And then he, like, he bought cars and property and just took out cash and shit. That's got to be. What if your identity gets stolen by somebody who's smarter than you?

And you're like, no, I like what he did. I'll take it. Ah. So, like, you catch him. He's made some business investments. He's burned some property. Got a nice car, too. You're like, no, that's pretty good.

It's like a personal shopper. Yeah, you should just get to keep all those things now. Right. You should have the option. Like, yes, it can all be returned and soon, but you can be like, no. It's one of those things like Catch Me If You Can where the FBI hired the guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're now my business manager.

All right. Yeah, I'll be Bob. You're Earl Thomas from now on. Dude, it would be pretty. He's just like, whose house is this it's earl thomas's this is a fucking nice hey cool how many people out there do you think if you gave them the option right now they could start a new identity start their life fresh would they take it or not take it

no very slim percentage you think so? Yes Like, like You're talking like, like WITSEC? Or just like, how? What's up? Like witness protection? Like you're gone? No, like, like if you could just It's a genie

You're gonna have a new name Start fresh, whatever I guess you could just do that if you want to do that I mean, anybody with like family and kids Well, actually, some people Sick enough with family and kids Probably like, actually, some people are sick enough with family and kids. They're probably like, yeah, give me that shit. But I don't think many people.

I think. You think people are happy with their lives? I think people are. Or they're, like, too lazy to, like, start it all over. Moderately happy with their lives. But I still think most people aren't ready to get up on a dream and and well i'm thinking of this and i can like start my dream now like i've i've gotten into this like but you i think you i think you kind of feel like you cheated it if you're like you're like no

i i can still do like yeah and it's not necessarily your dream as in like you're gonna become a professional athlete or whatever but but your dream, I think, changes as time. It's always changing to become more attainable, and you hope it meets somewhere. Yeah, you meet a bill. Your dream comes down, you go up. Yeah, it's not your childhood dream, but you have this vision for your future where you're like, I think I can do it. And I think most people probably will still want to get that. Well, what's funny coming from the reunion is, like, everybody – like, there was weird kids, dumb kids, clowns, geniuses, you know?

And, like, I don't know. We were all in the same relative spot. You know what I mean? It was like, that kid, like, I thought he was a fucking lunatic and he's just got like two kids and like runs a fucking like car dealership or something it's like yeah everybody just kind of evens out eventually but uh anyway yeah so i'm fucking 40 almost did you get your email list uh i don't think she did. No? She's like, he's not going to want this. There's like three people I really mean.

There's like three people that I'm like, oh. There was like three people that I like forgot about existed. And I was like, you guys are very pleasant people. Yeah, yeah. You know? And the rest is like, I mean, you're fine, but we didn't talk for a reason. So you wanted everyone's like yeah i mean you're fine but we didn't we didn't talk for a reason so you wanted everyone's like twitter instagram that that was my idea was like send that out so if people want it you like if i have three people you have you're just looking to get followers yeah you're like

you pick up 55 followers you know what i fucking do by by the way? Fuck Instagram. Right in its stupid face. Fuck Zuckerberg. Right up his dumb asshole. They just... There needs to be, like, a government injunction on these social media platforms. Because, like, shadow banning and shit is just, like, you're fucking with people's businesses. It's like my video views are, like, through the roof. Like, they've,'ve like recently just tripled

and not a single new follower that's not possible and it's like and and if it if it was just like hey man like your your videos aren't doing well and you're not getting followers i'd be like whatever but it's working well and i know some monkeys back there just going oh you got this many new followers nope now you're still even and it's like stop fucking with my shit man why like do you think that would be like if you know if back in the day like at the end of the fucking work week somebody just comes into the register and like takes half the money and it's like nope you stayed even like you did all this work you're doing well you had this many customers but we're just gonna keep you nope no growth for you what why do you even do it why does fucking meta give a shit that i'm are they eliminating like like fake accounts miraculously

the exact number of followers i get every day within five to ten i have the exact same loss of followers every single week really so i don't know how they do it if they're eliminating bots if they are just literally pushing buttons to just change the number on display i don't know but i i just it's like and then every now and then if i go like really viral like the uh the um submarine thing i had like three videos i like millions and millions and millions so so many more people were seeing me and following me they like let it they let it slide because they're like it would be so obvious yeah but this is enough that it's just like oh no i don't know a bunch of people unfollowed you the exact same number that did follow you fucking assholes i'm lucky enough that like we have the company but if if i was if you're solo and you start your career based on you know

your your accounts and then all of a sudden they just shut your shit down yeah i remember that was always a you're fucking with my business a sticking point throughout barstool be it like it was like before back in milton and it was like oh owned and operated was always coming to our website that can yeah they can't change the rules they can't i mean i i think we were and probably are the last that still does that. Like, I mean, obviously traffic is down, but we're probably still way higher than. Yeah, well, both sides are just gone now. Like, yeah, you're right. Like, they just cease to exist.

Yeah, yeah, right, right. You don't even have a webpage anymore. Yeah, but what would have been nice is, like, if we had the technology and the balls and the time and the money to start our own type of social media 10 years ago. And it would have sucked in the beginning, but maybe by year 10, there would be a decent amount of people on a Barstool version of Twitter or something like that. And then it's just like we have. That was Twitter for a while. Just Barstool? Yeah.

I feel like the only people who used it were barstool people i remember being like we put all our eggs in the twitter basket and it didn't work and then twitter had like this little little uprising in the last couple years but it wasn't really a good good version yeah but i figured it's getting more attention like no such thing as bad publicity more people will be on it more people will use it you know i don't know like tucker uh t Carlson, when he got, like, 100 million views, everyone was like, people are going to take their content just to Twitter. And I was like, now's our time to shine. But, no.

That would Twitter clearly fudge those numbers like Instagram does with the opposite with you. But they're like, we'll just fucking jack these up. Absolutely crazy. I heard a rumor that Rogan might do Twitter. I can't imagine that. But when that dude's contract comes up, and I think he's just going to go back to being solo,

and I would imagine just go back to YouTube, I think you're going to see a lot of views. For Rogan? Yeah. I would think so. I think the return of Rogan to YouTube is going to be a big one. Yeah. yeah big one people talk about the bump that rogan used to give you before and after uh going to spotify i think he wants that back that that to me would be the one thing like you know you got a bajillion dollars and all that stuff but the the rogan effect was like if you call my show

i am a king maker yeah and then that just kind of disappeared i would want that back that that's fucking awesome like i'll just you know you grace me with your presence and your whole life changes that's fucking sick um anyway last thing while i'm talking about that uh i saw a clip of um kirk talking to jared about alex cooper and how you you know of course he didn't like the way we interviewed her and all that shit. And Kirk didn't. Yeah. He was like that interview. He was like, boy, can Pat, Borstel, Pat give a good blow job.

And, um, and I kept saying, Alex, like people are calling you the new Oprah. And I say that a little bit tongue in cheek, more so that like, I'm like other people say that about you, but you know, and so Kirk brought that up. But I started to think about it. I was kind of like, but I think she is. I guess. I don't even really know what the old Oprah is. Obviously, it's Oprah. But I don't really know what Oprah did.

That's what I mean. I think it's just like you're talking about a woman with a talk show that has extreme influence. I think Alex Cooper and Unwell Media will probably be, like, a billion-dollar entity at one point. And, like, she's, I don't know, whatever the new form of Oprah's fucking talk show is, what she does. It's kind of crazy. It's like. She does, like, more emotional interviews, right? Yeah.

But so. Kind of? That's kind of what. I don't know. I have no idea. Yeah. Like, Oprah, I think, you know, while Alex Cooper's talking about, like, sucking dick,, I think Oprah was talking about like, you know, I don't know, bettering society or some shit.

But Alex is like moving that direction. Also, the world is moving Alex's direction. So but I think like she's starting at the very beginning of having like a media company that she will be the top of, which will probably, I really think, be like a billion dollar thing. And then what? She'll have a talk show where she gives out fucking cars to people like all the things you know all that shit's like very attainable it's kind of i i i was saying the oprah thing as a joke but then when i when kirk was

like kind of rolling his eyes about it i was like well i don't know i guess the question would be pick another woman who's going to be the most influential female in media it's gonna be her yeah right like she'll be the biggest thing in female media so um you you missed you missed a good one on that one i i i remember i i didn't buy my i didn't buy wi-fi on my flight we were out to chicago and i landed i texted you like holy 25 minutes with Alex, and I was like, I have no idea. Yeah, that was a poorly worded text. And I was like, what? But never in a million years did I think you were referring to Alex Cooper.

Crazy. Yeah, it is funny. I said it last episode when you weren't here. Once I realized that there was a documentary camera crew following her around things started to click yeah yeah that was like that was when i landed in chicago and dave was like were you in the office for alex and i was like do you know how time works it's 4 p.m in chicago dude like what do you mean she's like still at the office right now I'm several states away from her

that is a funny thing I don't think you had told me maybe you had but he was like yeah I see your whole documentary and I was like ah and I'll tell you what that documentary I said it again on last episode is very much

female in the workplace you got treated differently because of your gender barstools you overcame barstools misogyny which is so fucking gay that's it's interesting i know you guys touched on this when you talked but like it's hard to be a female in the workplace when you don't come to the workplace was it hard to be a female was it hard to be a female not in the workplace? That's what I should have said. That's fucking great. When I asked her, I said, have you had any contact with Sophia?

I was like, I got it. I got to get that sound bite. And she said, nope, nothing. And then she said, there's really nothing to discuss. I said, I bet Sophia disagrees, bro bro i think there's plenty of things to discuss you just don't want to discuss them yeah yeah we got nothing to talk about yeah that's uh man that's gonna be the all-time bag fumble but it was almost it was like no way i i you know i just don't think that was the one scenario where like it all broke that way i feel like if they stayed together it doesn't oh i was the one scenario where it all broke that way.

I feel like if they stayed together, it doesn't. Oh, I completely agree. It all kind of fell into place that way. Let me tell you about Factor Meals. Throw out the ad copy. I don't even care. Factor was a sponsor of Surviving Barstool, and I got my first taste of Factor Meals, and I haven't stopped since.

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coming with different types of potatoes and different seasonings, rosemary and reduced wine. I got the Baja salmon. I don't know how they do it because it's microwave, but it's delicious. The chicken is tender. The meat is cooked perfectly. How is fish in the microwave good? I don't know, but it is. How do you microwave this filet mignon and not have it come out overcooked and like bark on a tree? I don't know, but they do it. It is perfectly cooked, perfectly seasoned. The flavor comes out.

All you got to do is poke a couple holes in the plastic over the top, two minutes in the microwave, and you have yourself a phenomenal meal. And on top of it, most of them are like three times as much protein as it is carbohydrates. So it's good for you on top of a lot of that. They have a party dip. That's a buffalo chicken dip in one thing and a spinach artichoke dip in the other. I mean, whether you're snacking or eating, whether it's breakfast, lunch, or dinner, Factor has you covered. I'm about to ask them to be my permanent meal source, my permanent food source, and just give me Factor Meals every single day of the week. Head over to factormeals.com

slash KFC50 and then use code KFC50 to get 50% off. That's KFC50 5-0 at factormeals.com slash KFC50. You can pick all your meals, all your flavors, all your styles. I cannot recommend it enough. Alright, anyway, what do you got for us today, Johnny? Open that book

up. That book of horrors. What's in there today? Oh, wait. I guess this kind of uh pairs with alex i recently discovered uh i think my calling oh your calling as in your your professional calling your personal calling your professional i think i found my ideal job um you currently don't have it i thought i did and i just and i just thought of this and i was like fuck i would be so good at that oh okay uh pray tell beloved successful podcast hosts spouse oh that's a good one i think i would crush that i think I'd be so good at that. Crush that. They would be like, he is so cute and funny.

Like, oh, hey, girl. I don't even know what this is about. Yes. Play dumb the whole time. I don't know. Yeah, like you separate whites and colors. I think I'd be fucking. They're like, oh, John, he's so dumb.

He's so dumb, but in a lovable way. Yes. You have, like, one good clip with, like, the kids or the puppy or whatever. I think it was a combination of things I've seen throughout the weekend where you sent me the Travis and Jason Kelsey clip. Yep. And then I saw Girls Gotta Eat. I think Ashley has her boyfriend on the podcast for the first time. And I was like, I'd Ashley has her boyfriend on the podcast for the first time.

And I was like, I'd fucking nail this, dude. That is where guys like us have existed. Yeah. You know, like your friend's moms are always like, ah, you're a rascal. They kind of like you. Bro, just the other day, Dante put up a picture of me and him at that Chicago thing. And he put like, I think he called me the original John Boy, because that's his new bar in Chicago. Yeah.

And my friends, and I just like reposted it. And my friend's mom replied, you're my original John Boy. Yeah. We got it right at him. Totally. That is a great role to play. Dude, do you do a double hand wave when you sit down? Hey, girls.

I pretend I don't know what's successful. I don't even know what you guys do over here. What is this called? You're on Twitter. What is this? Basically the 90s sitcom wife. That's what I'd be good at. It's like, what are you rascals getting up to today?

You'd have a stupid nickname yeah they would call you like the hub or something like that yeah jessica's hub is just like so darling there is anyone out there any women out there who have a very successful podcast and are looking to add a character dude i'm telling you though the new world is probably like manufacturing that which is sick yeah but i bet you there is some single girl out there whose manager is like okay you've made it like but what we need now is the boy like you know it's happened in media forever you need you know the the the pr couples and things like that why not i don't know you i it't get me wrong. We'll have to scrub all of this because I can have no idea what a podcast is. I don't know what this is.

Act a little goofy. Dress a little. Actually, everything you already are. It's like, he's like stylish. He doesn't know what's going on. He's got a dad bod, but he's like strong. You'd be perfect for it. I'm glad you a dad bod But he's like strong Yeah you'd be Bro

Okay good I'm glad you said Dad bod thing So this weekend I journeyed up to Maine And I went And got I went to

Tony's Shirtmakers This is crazy Yeah Do you know about Tony's Shirtmaker pass Yeah It's insane Insane

Insane And he just gives you Whatever he wants right No No So that was Do you have a say I went up I thought it was like Soup Nazi Like you get what you get And he just gives you whatever he wants, right? No. No? Do you have a say? I thought it was like soup Nazi. You get what you get and that's all you get.

It is. Tony Shirtmakers is – he's the man. He's a guy from Staten Island actually, a really great guy. I would not have guessed that. Is he like a – you don't want Staten Island guy? No, not like that. I thought he was like a crunchy granola. No, he's from Staten Island.

He was like, you can post anything here, so I don't think I'm speaking out of school here. I'm just saying. I'm sure it's in the article. But he's a Staten Island guy who moved to Maine during the pandemic. According to the Wall Street Journal, he's arguably the best tailor in America.

Now, is a tailor Also creates clothes Or he literally just alters other people's clothes No no no he creates It's all original I know tailors Obviously also do that but no Tony shirt makers makes everything

It's him and his wife Laura up in Maine And so me and my brother Got me for my birthday like a commission he does like he does does mostly custom commissions on his website he has some ready to wear stuff but it's mostly just custom shit and so I went up there tell me he was like laughing about your I go ahead sorry and he was like so we get in there my brother was like my brother's got fucking sketches and fucking like now i emailed you this and i emailed you that and like this is all to create a shirt right uh i went with a barn jacket um okay but one one garment yeah got it he makes like 12 garments a month wow which is like the big deal no how does how does he even like get found out as like the best tailor i don't know

like you probably open up a shop right and then like that town is like this guy makes great shirts well no he was he was he moved to maine in the pandemic he was in new york he was in brooklyn so okay but you open up shop you know at some point in new york you open up a shop and you're like and everyone's just like he he's that good yeah like you get national look i guess like anything else but it's just funny that like the way you cut shirts or whatever is that different bro i was was putting on shirts he's already made there. I was like, this is the most amazing piece of clothing I've ever put on my life. Really? It feels that different?

It feels that different. Isn't that so stupid, though? We've talked about this before with t-shirts where if you want a nice t-shirt, it's like $80 or $90. And most people's heads explode over that. They're like, my t-shirt's cost $7. But your t-shirts look like they cost $7. But why can't, I don't know, the ones that are $7 are cut like this and the ones that are $90 are cut like that.

Why can't you just cut them all, you know? Like why does, what makes that one, or do they do that on purpose? Like if you want a nicer one. I would think it's a part of the, I obviously don't know, but the material and the time it takes to go into it. One thing I learned was that, anyway, my brother had all this stuff and i i was like i was we didn't talk about it in the car it's four hours so it's a train to massachusetts and then me and my brother drove four hours to maine in the morning we were there for like an

hour and a half drove four hours back we we left we left our house we left my family's house, at 8 a.m., got there around noon, got back to my family's house around 6. So it was like a 10-hour day for like an hour, hour and a half of meeting, for sure. But he was like, all right, John, what are you thinking? And I was like, but as I was explaining everything, I was like, dude, we had a four-hour car ride up here. You didn't tell me? They didn't prep me right. You had a bunch of shit. I had my phone. I could have done some I was like, dude, we had a four-hour car ride up here. You didn't tell me? They didn't prep me right. You had a bunch of shit. I had my phone.

I could have done some stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We had four hours. So that was for his? That was for his, yeah. And you were, oh, no. And he was like, Tony was like, John, what do you want? And I was like, I don't know.

Classic. I didn't know we were doing this. I was like, Tony, what are you in the mood to make? And he was like. I kind of like that, though. He's like, actually, I've been doing these things with floating pockets. I was like I kind of like that though He's like actually I've been doing these things With like floating pockets

I was like done Let's do that Yeah So I got a barn jacket Like a new style barn jacket With floating pockets What is a floating pocket? It's just

It's like It's just kind of like It sticks out Got it This would be great by the way For your podcast husband bit And he didn't even prepare Yeah

He went all that way And he didn't even know What shirt he wanted. And the girls go, oh, my God. And it was amazing. It was cool. We went through fabrics. And it was a really cool experience.

But then we were just talking, and we're getting – he's talking about pants, because he had a great pair of pants on. And I was like, did you make those pants? And he's like, yeah. I was like, do you make pants? And he's like, I'm thinking about getting into it, blah, blah, blah. He's a shirt maker. He's talking about pants because he had a great pair of pants on. I was like, did you make those pants? And he's like, yeah. I was like, do you make pants? And he's like, I'm thinking about getting into it, blah, blah, blah. He's a shirt maker. He's not a pants maker.

Yeah. He's like, it's really hard to make pants because, like, you really need everyone's sizes. And he's explaining how, like, most shirts you can kind of, like – Ballpark a little bit. Yeah. He's like, if you wear a pair of pants that fits, you're like, I cannot wear another pair of pants. He's like, it fits your thighs and your ass and this. You like i need all the time i need this exclusively and uh he was like what size pant are you and i was like i probably get 34 and he just chuckles he goes yeah good for

you and i was like i was like i was like what do you And he's like, you are not a 34. I was like, no, I'm literally wearing a 34. He's like, no, I know you are. But just like that's not what size you are. And I was like, what do you mean? I've kind of always thought that, too. Do you know what size waist I am? I mean, you're thick, bro.

You're probably like a 42. 41. I've always thought that. You are a fucking solid brick of stone. He was like, when he was making my shirt, he's like, I'm probably going to add about a half inch in the front. And I was like, why? He's like, it's just supposed to hang a little more and I was like he's like and we have the same material on the front and back like sometimes it doesn't add up and as you say that you kind of went like

this and I was like I was like but you're it's not you're not fat you're not you are but my brother caught trying to he goes yeah you got a bit of a tummy I was like bro what the fuck did happen again no you you are No, you are a barrel. You are a barrel of a man. And there are definitely times where if we get something that is remotely the same size, I'm like, how is this possible? You are a pillar of stone. I think that's a lot of people, though.

I bet you. No, what he said is that when pants became mass produced, it's literally just vanity. People don't like buying their number. And I was like, God damn it. Well, they did it with chicks. I used to tease girls that were like size zeros and stuff. And I didn't realize that we were all so guilty of it. So I apologize to all women that I did not know vanity sizing was a thing in men.

And I'll be honest, now that I know, I'm happy it does because – If you were a 41, you'd be yourself. 41 sounds a lot different. Now, to be fair to me, the 41 measurement was over my belt, and he's like, maybe you're a 40. And I was like, man, I'd really like to be a 39. Three handle. belt and he's like maybe you're a 40 and i was like man i'd really like to be 39 have you ever heard of um um the i'm trying to find it the great male renunciation of course i have the 1860s dude

that is so cool i just learned about that the other day where they just said, fuck it. We're not dressing like chicks anymore. Yeah. Arguably, the most. Was it the 1860s? No, it was before that. I think it was before that. 1820s maybe? It was in the end of the 18th century.

1860s it started. 17. Wait, how does that work again? I could have sworn it was 1860s. I feel like it's 1860s. I wouldn't just make that number up. 1840. Okay, that's close.

The movement in America. Mid-18th century means 1700s, right? We're in the 21st century now. So, 1800s and 1700s. So, 1700s. It started in France during the French Revolution. The Western was the 1860s. It is the declaration of we are no longer...

You look at all the old paintings of famous people in France and the kings and all that shit. And they all dress like chicks. And they have wigs. Ben Franklin took the wig off. That was the first... They were like... He was like, I'm not doing this shit anymore. Which is pretty gangster.

He's like, I'm dying of fucking syphilis. I don't need the wig off. That was the first. They were like, he was like, I'm not doing this shit anymore, which is pretty gangster. He's like, I'm dying of fucking syphilis. I don't need this wig anymore. But it was the end of men dressing like women, and they instead concentrated on plain clothes and dressing utilitarian, whatever you do. Now, also, to be fair, very largely that was the royal class. Yeah, like the average person wasn't doing it. The common man wasn't doing it. Right, they were already dressing like a fucking blacksmith or a farmer or whatever.

But the fact that for the rich people that changed, and then it changed to dark colored or black clothing became the standard for men and the renunciation. High heels were out by the 1740s tight-fitting breeches that suggested better tailoring and exact accentuated the strength of the male figure were replaced by pantaloons and all the fat wigs and all that shit were that that's probably a little bit uh uh american revolution too right like we're not doing it like they do it i feel like we changed everything yeah over here like fuck you guys we're gonna do the opposite of you but if that doesn't happen and like the

world continues that way i mean imagine if all like the popular like you know important and influential and famous dudes were just running around dressing with wigs and big like ball gowns and shit like that to an extent they are the styles of the world if you're looking at the cultural aspect of it rather than the ruling aspect yeah the you can go back to like the rock bands of the 60s 70s like they dressed like women yeah but the but i'm thinking more like men in suits as opposed to like like if the president was just coming out that's what i'm saying yeah, like a big poofy fucking Cinderella dress, and it's like, yeah, I'm a rich man.

That's what we do. That's one of the biggest – I mean, I think you obviously know that. I don't think most people would know the great renunciation. No. But that's probably one of the things that affects your life the most is that back in 1700, 1800, some guys eventually just said, we ain't trying to like chicks anymore. I'm sure there is something

biological at some point where some dude was taken off like a dress and then a corset. He's like, fuck this shit. I am not doing it anymore. And it was probably something, you know. The wife's friends were going, he's so silly. You gotta be so bored.

Don't you miss it a little bit, guys? Don't you miss that a little bit guys no don't you miss that like no no i'm dressing up it's fun to play dress up i think it's hard to play dress up i think it's easy for you and it's hard for most people because if you dress up you're taking a chance and like putting yourself out there yeah and if you do it wrong you get made fun of but then you do it wrong and you're like yeah you know i tried today i'll wear something different tomorrow? Most people can't do that. Most people can't take an L like that and just be like, it's okay. You're right. You're right. This is a little extreme.

Now you're a temper back a little bit. Most people, that's why I, whenever we talk to the comics, I'm always like so flabbergasted where I'm like, you just you just continued to fail like every night for 10 years. You're okay with that? If I fail once, I'm like, nope, not doing this this anymore it's like in doing anything where you're like when in i'm sure comics went through it where you failed but you were like but this little part worked and then you're

like okay so i'll work on that little part and then like you put on clothes and you're like all right i missed with the shirt but the pants worked and i'll try that with something else now and speaking of art i got. Speaking of art. I got something to speak in art, too. Red Zone for Coming is literally internet art. That is. That is. That is. That is maybe the funniest concept I've seen on the internet in a long time.

That's a Nick Turani special right there. That is a really, really funny skit. Dude, Nick, that was – first of all, we have added Nick and KB to Out of Order. That's like grabbing, you know, that super team shit. Yeah. That's like getting Durant and fucking – Easy. Huh?

Easy. Most of the teams Didn't work right I don't know Who's the other guy That picked up on the Warriors Let's go with that one I was trying to find

Like a big four The only thing I came up with Was like Celtics Rondo Pierce Well a big four Is just a good team Like the Bulls in the 90s

Had like six good guys You know Eventually Just have a good team Yeah So we I like very I was like very nervous To call Nick And be like Do you guys want to do. Eventually he's going to have a good team. Yeah. So I was very nervous to call Nick. I was like, do you guys want to do this?

And he's like, yes. And I was like, yes! That's how it should be, man. The fact that you were nervous to say it, and they were probably like, we wanted to ask a long time ago. It's fucking crazy, man. But that was the hardest thing in in red zone for coming that i realized will be again it's a champagne problem but like an issue going forward is filming with

nick is so hard because he's so funny yeah he's like every everything he says just is like so his delivery voice it's like what he stopped like do you remember the only i keep thinking of when we were filming and he was like we were in the conference room and he was just kind of like fiddling with that like is this the hole that the cords go through for like the phones and he's just fiddling with it and it looks like he's fingering it and then he's like yeah fuck it and then he talked about he's joking about someone walking by and him being naked with his dick just sticking through and being like, Nick, is that you? He's like, no. Is that your dick?

It's not mine. As I'm saying this, none of this makes sense. But in the moment, it was the funniest thing I'd ever heard. Bro, I also – I got to give it to the other guys. I'm always so impressed. Like you guys we now know can all like act. But like Jeff D'Lo being like, I'm not – I'm not understanding. Jeff D'Lo is great. I'm not understanding. I don't quite get it. other guys i'm always so impressed like you guys we now know can all like act but like jeff d low being like i'm not i'm not jeff d low is great i'm not understanding i don't i don't quite get it

jeff was jeff was jeff was you guys were so foul those clips were like like all blurred out but you still knew exactly what was going on that interracial one is like whoa the interracial one. I was like, whoa! The interracial one. One thing that I don't think... We'll skip it. But the... Say it. It didn't...

It wasn't edited out because we were like, ooh, it's edgy. It didn't work that well. It was when we were like, go to the Giants. I was like, I'm for the interracial points. That's what I meant. And I was like, oh, I thought that's the Steelers. That's in the end. That's in the filling in the racial points. That's what I meant. And I was like, oh, I thought that's the Steelers. That's in the end.

That's in the post credits. That's great. That's awesome. But then we had an Octobox, which didn't work with blurring because it was like, started with the Octobox, and then we're like, let's go to the Octobox. And it was going to be eight tentacles and one pussy. That is a concept. To me, internet skits and sketch shows are about 90%. No, it's like 75% the concept and then 25% the execution.

Because even if it's like the acting wasn't that great or whatever, just the thought of someone being like, what if you did Red Zone but for porn? It's like that is so fucking funny that someone had that thought even just in the first place. I would say in my little – I guess we're probably coming up on a year now, like 10 months, experience with it.

The most important thing is the concept. Yeah. The second most important thing is Pabst. Pabst and Owen. Yeah. Like the way it looks. It's insane. It's crazy.

Like how they make conversations look. They're making movies. Like, guess what? Like, most of the time, it is not as smooth as it looks. Yeah, sure. But like, Pabst and Owen, like, make it look like a comic. But that's. It's.

I've learned that, like, again, I have very little experience, so I don't know what I'm talking about. But the most important part of any movie, show, whatever it is, that person is not on screen. But then what happens is when you – even just doing commercials and little things, when I start to know how good they are you kind of get more confident being like this is gonna this is gonna work out yeah you know and then you're more

confident you do it in a way or you take a chance or as long as we get this will be good and then i think everything like everybody gets better at it because just just knowing that you have this ultimate safety net of like even if this sucks they will figure out a way to make it possible right and if it's good it'll be great and if it's great it'll be fucking legendary because like watching i'm like that's a mystic that's a natty that's a mystic how the fuck did he chop all that together and make it look like a real conversation i don't know how they and that's all relatively can you imagine like i was talking to the guys who were doing survivor you guys have like 12 hours of 12 people for five or six days they're almost done with that and they

were like yeah i was like i was like you know can i let me tell you some things because i know obviously you're not going to watch everything and they were like no we're watching everything i was like no you're you're fucking lying they were telling me one part of the day that i think it's gonna be very funny on camera i think there's gonna to be dozens of legendary moments. We'll cut this, probably. But Rob was just telling me because he had me do a drop for it, where he's like, it's this important meeting, and everyone's talking, and everyone's this.

And you're sitting there, and you're nodding, but then you're never talking, and then your eyes start glazing over a little bit, and you kind of keep looking off to the side. And then he's like, and you start looking more, and you're getting a little interested in what's happening over there. And this is this really intense conversation about who to vote for, who to vote for. He's like, and everyone gets up and walks away, and you're still sitting there, and you just go, go hey are there any more of those cookies i think there's gonna be so many moments that are so good for you of of everyone else taking it way too seriously and you and then like you being the comedic relief like it doesn't matter. You are going to shine on that series, man.

Shine. He's like, no, everyone already left. But you're still whispering. I need more of those cookies. I was like, that's pretty funny. I don't know about you. As I've gotten older, I've realized that I need to take my health more seriously and that I need to take vitamins and get the right things in my body. And I don't know how to do that.

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That's ritual.com slash KFC. But speaking of art, I had another thing the other day that I kind of had a realization i guess uh this should be good a long dramatic pause like this i know something colossally stupid is coming do you ever think how lucky we are to have hitler existed here we go. I knew it was going to be Hitler. I don't know why, bro.

It's always Hitler. Bro, no, but here's the deal. All roads lead back to Hitler. Here's the deal, dude. I was watching a trailer for Masters of the Air, which is a new Austin Butler movie. Yeah. It's like everything awesome. We're killing Hitler. Yeah.

What would we have done if World War II didn't happen? World War II was fucking fire. I'm obviously not speaking about the Jewish people and things like that. I'm clearly speaking about entertainment. What would have happened with entertainment if World War II didn't happen?

If there was no Hitler and no World War II, what would be entertainment's ultimate example of good versus evil it we got not they'd be like no but like i mean what would like what stalin's hair was too nice like uh i mean they probably it was probably like the american revolution for a long time right at least in our in our world was but that was not like good versus evil that was like politics yeah like who who is uh they're trying to tax us i also think you know what i

don't think there is an answer for that because i think it's very interesting that everything would probably end up being the god stuff but i you know luckily we had the devil incarnated and we could do that. Movies, television, all of that started at a time when that shit – you know what I mean? It was like they kind of were happening at the same time. Yeah. So like – It's also like the Revolutionary War, it's too old. World War II stuff you can do and it's still modern enough. Yeah.

Right? Where you're still like – Yeah, you're not like talking about – Tanks and machines. Yeah, you're doing like Genghis Khan. It's like, I don't know. That was, like, another planet, you know? But that shit was, you know, modern day.

Like, it's still everything, every great, like, and by great, I mean, like, an epic. I mean, there's great, like, Olympus has fallen. But, like, epic, epically great action movie or drama movie is World War II. Yeah. That's all we got. If it wasn't for World War II, Hollywood would be in shambles. It probably would be God. It would be all religion shit. It would be

the devil. God versus the devil. Because that's really like, it was like, oh, we have that in human form. This is fucking Satan on Earth. If that didn't happen at the time it happened, what would they be like in writer's rooms? Who's the evil country? I don't know norway like like there's there's with germany we're a really lucky germany exists yeah what it was like the obviously there's a little russia there was

there was uh it was always like people rebelling against like a government. There was the empires, like Roman Empire. The Crusades is a big one. Yeah. The Crusade. What? North Korea. North Korea. But that's new.

He keeps that under wraps too. It's also new. We don't really know what he's doing over there. And he's kind of funny. People laugh at him. I don't know. People are afraid of Hitler. They laugh at Kim Jong.

I don't know. It's just. It is what it is. But I'm just thinking. You got Napoleon too that's coming out now. Yeah. And that's just like a small guy. But even that's like – that's a little too old.

Yeah. Like it doesn't really – it obviously – it translates to the screen in small doses. But like without – like you're not going to go see a ton of Napoleon movies. You'll see the Napoleon movies. But even that, all of those things, it's like there is an epicness to what they were doing. They were conquering the world. There was there was religion there was whatever but like even like if you look at fucking the american revolution it was about taxes yeah it's not like this epic tale it's like fucking stop taxing us you know this was like he's we have to stop this like like he's

you know he's evil pure evil. That does not really exist. Man, shout out to Hitler. Yeah, it was like I was watching the trailer. Greatest muse of all time. The trailer looks great, but there was a line where he's like, we got to go stop Hitler. And I was like, fucking right you do. Yeah.

But what would have happened? It's all just comedy movies. Things are just great. Well, you know what I think it was? I think it was a lot of love, epic romance movies like that you know yeah i'm sure i'm sure we would have found things to make movies about but they just wouldn't hit it wouldn't it wouldn't have slept you need you need that tension of the evil there's just it's just so 60 years later 80 years later he's still the guy it's so incomprehensibly evil. Like, there's nothing that even came close.

Right. Like, even all of the terrible things that are happening in the world right now, Middle East now, 9-11, like, all the modern shit, it is a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of what that guy was doing. I'm trying to find... Nah, this is going to be a hard Google search. It's not going to be one I can do right away.

Because, like, I'm trying to i'm trying how many movies are about just like movies that villains that were inspired by hitler like but like everything's coming up is like you know obviously like fucking the dude from inglorious bastards exactly number one you need like like like like star wars is probably like some good and evil i i thought that. That's what I was hoping to see, that Vader was inspired by him. I'm sure there's some level of that. Yeah. Number five, Dr. Joseph Mengele. Yeah, no shit.

He was inspired by Hitler. He was like Hitler's fucking employee. Right. Yeah, that is an astute observation. It's kind of like how every pop song is about love. Every movie is about World War II. Yeah. And they're all great.

They're all awesome. Because there's just something inherently about like. There really is just that good and evil in the world. You know. And it's never been on display. That was like fact is stranger than fiction sort of thing. Yeah. Like if you made a movie but

prior to hitler being like we have this guy slaughter millions of people and then you'd be like i don't know it's all extreme he did it in real life i would say prior to him though it's uh i don't know it's probably like us you know we were probably the evil people we were just writing the history books are Are we the baddies? Shout out to Hitler. Shout out to Hitler. Well, there's a few other things here I've thought of through the weekend. Oh, dude.

Dude. Brown. Dude. Brown. Dude. Two quick things. One, the – no, never mind. We'll just do this one.

You texted it to me. I can't believe it hasn't come up yet. The JFK thing. JFK thing? Yeah. I texted you about JFK? Yes, you did. JFK used to let his boy suck his dick.

That's dope. Oh, yeah. I got to make a one-minute man about this. JFK, his best friend was gay. And first of all, shout out to jfk shout out to johnny boy for like like he still rolled with him and we'll you'll explain it we'll know why in a minute but like back when it was like you're trying to be in politics you have a gay best friend who's always around that's the sort of shit that torpedoes your career back in the fucking 40s 50s 60s you know and he would just lincoln well maybe maybe So there's probably more of a precedent for this than you realize.

But publicly, Lem Billings is his name. John F. Kennedy and Lem Billings, which, by the way, Lem Billings, rock it. Both of you guys were great. I mean, that picture is so funny. I'll send you this video, Pavs. It is so fucking gay, but it's also kind of like boys being boys in like the 50s and 60s. Yeah, I've heard about this. They're in like, you know, they're in there like.

Do you know how many pictures I have with the fellas? We can be like, these guys are gay. They're so gay. Billings told JFK about his romantic intentions toward him in a love note written in a piece of toilet paper at their elite Connecticut boarding school. The future president wrote back, I'm not that kind of boy. But one point Billings confided that his relationship with the future president included oral sex with Jack always on the receiving end. So he was like, yeah, we can keep hanging out. You can keep sucking my dick. That's incredible.

I like picturing him doing it as like a favor. Yeah. Where he's like... Wait, wait. Jack giving his dick up as a favor? Yeah. Oh, I'm also thinking of it as like, I'm having a fucking rough day. Somebody call Lem in here. I need some head real quick. He's like,

Lem, you can't go out there. Everyone's homophobic. Stay inside. Suck my dick. That's's too dangerous you got a perfect dick right here you got it you can't fly i mean they're beating gay people lab stay inside now i know some people would be like if your best friend sucks your dick you're gay but that's not gay jfj it's not gay if your friend is like i'm gay and i love suck it dick and you're like i mean you can suck mine that's not gay i like he he honestly probably wasn't he's just being a bro he's like he's helping other homies don't tell anybody that they're gonna beat the shit out of you seriously at a time when it's hard to get your dick sucked

i'll just graciously offer up mine. Yeah. That's being a pal. JFK was like the bro-est bro of all time. Like before you could be gay, he was like, I'm cool with it. Don't tell anyone. Don't suck on this dick. Just suck on this. Just blow me.

And you know Lem was probably like, do you want to fuck me? He's like, no, no, just keep going. We'll do that next time, I promise. I'm not bro is fucking marilyn monroe and then getting his dick sucked by lem that is hilarious what would you do if you met a guy and he was like jfk he's like looks like looks like jk he's fucking the man he's the president he's like the full package. He's like, I had a friend who used to suck my dick. I don't know. He's like, damn. Wasn't prepared to answer that one. Do you know how to clout with JFK?

Yeah, I'm telling you. This guy is the full fucking package. All good? Is it still going on? Oh, it's still going on. Yeah, what about that? But he's still JFfk and i would just like every now and then like you're like hey where were you and he's like i was with lem and

you're like okay no i don't think i could be cool with that what if what if what if you knew lem and you really liked lem he's like one of the girls. It's like Lem is a delight. It's just every now and then he blows your mind. Well, also, like, is he – then we're in competition. Yeah, that's the other thing. Then you know who's the winner there? JFK. JFK.

Always coming up JFK. That's what he did. He was probably like, you know, Marilyn pops her head up and he was like, that was pretty good. I mean, it wasn't like Lem, but the next time she's going down there like – That's why JFK popped the top down in Dallas. He's like, I've been fucking – I haven't missed in 40 years. There's no way this goes wrong.

My life is awesome. Dude, I am filthy rich. I married up. I became a president. I've had my boys suck in my dick There's no way this goes awry It's so good Alright Who's our guest today?

Do we have a guest? Steve-O With a wild conversation This actually In hindsight now Steve-O with a wild conversation with Steve-O. This actually, in hindsight now, talking about World War II, JFK getting his dick sucked, the conversation we had with Steve-O, reunions and all. This is what podcasting, this is a pure podcast. Before podcasts got bastardized and just turned into like clips and monetization and

money and stupid entertainment where it was like just fucking weird and interesting conversation that's what this podcast is all about but the conversation with steve-o i'll i'll bet you any amount of money you want there is no way you could guess what half of this conversation with steve-o is about no way no chance it's about when we left the gold standard i said that with jfk with steve-o inflation with steve-o it is a it's it's an interesting conversation it's probably one you were not looking for to have with steve-o but kind of makes it all the more interesting but the fact that that's the same guy who was also like now fucking hit me in the head with this baseball bat dude the uh it's a real time here i was um i was in chicago and this this

has been a thing that's happened to me a few times recently i i think i have to stop riding elevators with women. That sounds bad. Well, I saw a TikTok about, like, how you're supposed to ride an elevator with a woman. Have I been doing it wrong? Well, that was the thing. The answer is no. You haven't because you've been being normal. Right. You just, like, stand off to the side, like, away from them.

But, like, now I have, like, the instructions. And so I don't know if I'm doing it right. Give me the instructions. So it's, like, so first of all, you're supposed to hit your floor first. And then. Ask her what she wants. Yeah. And then, like.

Oh, so she can just. Just so, like, I guess it's to keep them comfortable. And if you get on here, it's like, I'm going to your floor. Then they're like, what the fuck? What the fuck? And then, like, it's never – So – Never let them get off first.

You always get off first. Right. And because then they don't think they're going to get followed. They're going to get raped. Yeah. And I don't know. I just rode an elevator blissfully ignorant all the time and never thought about anything like that. I mean –

Never thought about raping them. Yeah. But just never thought about – Right, right. Never thought about fucking making sure – One way or the other. They mean – Never thought about raping them. Yeah. But just never thought about – Right, right. Never thought about fucking making sure they knew I wasn't going to rape them. Are we talking like just you and a woman in an elevator? Yeah. Okay.

Because like I'm also like if you're at the front, you get out first. You know what I mean? Like there's – Right. No, it was just – Because we're in elevators a lot now. We travel and stuff like that. I get –

If you get in an elevator, if you walk on an elevator and a girl, either way, if there's a girl on first, you walk on and it's like 10 and you just go and you don't push a button either, it's going to be weird. And then if you're like,

after you. But that's a weird one too because usually you're supposed to be like, girls go first. But it's like, no, it's the same thing with opening, like going in the revolving doors, like you go first

because then you push it for them. So sometimes you're supposed to go second. But I can see where someone would be like, well, now I'm going to nine. You can go to ten. Fuck you. So like when we were in Chicago, we got the hotel kind of late and I was probably like 10, maybe 930, whatever. And I got in an elevator and and i was just like it's almost like when they when someone sees like when you meet an animal or a pet and they're like don't be scared it knows

you're scared yeah and so like i know i'm not ripping you i'm not ripping you i'm not ripping you to the elevator like i can feel them being weird yeah this is the worst thing like like there is not a human alive more in their own head than John Feidelberg. Dude can't even get in an elevator anymore. Because I'm like, I'll go. John's going to get in an elevator and just go, I'm not going to rape you. I promise not to rape you. What floor are you going to?

I'm going to four. It's like an argument for ignorance is bliss. I'd never thought about someone being uncomfortable. And now I'm like, okay, every woman around me is uncomfortable. And now I'm being jumpy at the elevator buttons. If you get in an elevator with a dude, are you ever thinking I'm about to get knocked out and raped? I've never thought about that. Yeah.

No, because you're a normal person. And I was a normal person until I got fucking red-pilled by this goddamn video. And now I can't be a normal person in an elevator anymore. I mean, like, you ever been in, like, a – I'm thinking – I'm trying to think of scenarios. Like, if I was in a parking garage at night alone with a woman, I don't know. I'm trying to think if I would be like, it's okay. I'm just going to my car. I don't know.

I'd probably just be normal, but – I've done that in Boston walking home. You know, when you almost get in sync with a woman. I promise I just live in Seattle. I can't get by you where I just started jogging. I just jogged past her and then got to the end of the block and started walking again. You make things so much worse sometimes. It wasn't like a full

You make things so much worse sometimes It wasn't like a full job How about just like turn left And go on a different street Well I didn't want to work Farther than I had to You'd rather jog? You'd rather start running?

It was like from here to the window It wasn't a far But it was like Yeah And I'm just Get back to my normal game There is no one in the world More awkward with women than you.

It's crazy. I don't know if it's the internet or just your brain, but you are just like, what do I do with them? I'm not going to kill you. I'm not going to rape you. I feel like everything. But not really. Let's just let me run past you. I feel like everything I see is like, guys are terrible.

Chicks are scared of guys. I'm like, I'm not. But I don't know how to do that in a normal way. It is true. There is a lot of that. I get that there's a lot of videos and content like that. But I'm around women. I don't know.

I'm not like that. I'm around chicks how dads are around black people. Yes. It's like, I'm trying to show you I'm cool, it's coming off weird yep yep i'm jive to your way whoa jesus christ dad calm down you're trying too hard to show you're not racist it's coming off very uncomfortable for everybody totally that is very that's a great comparison for sure now like i think about that if i'm walking down the street and somebody's walking behind me and now i'm thinking about they probably think that i'm worried about them so i I'm walking down the street and somebody's walking behind me and now I'm thinking about, they probably think that I'm worried

about them, so I will slow down to make sure I'm not like they don't think I'm speeding up. See, I'd be like, I keep slowing down. That's a funny skit. You guys never get where you're going. Eventually your boat just stops.

Your boat just stopped five feet away from each other. It's like you're like battleships just stopped five feet away from each other. What the hell is wrong with this goddamn ship? It's like you're like battleships in the water. Just read me already. Just fuck me. Hey, let's get this over with. Just fuck me.

I got places to be. You guys are ridiculous. I just get in elevators and go where I'm going. I just walk to the places I'm going. I walk to my car. I don't give a fuck. That's what I did until I see these videos. Guess what?

You're going to think about it now. I'm going to think about it, but I'm not going to. God damn it. I've got to think about it. If I'm in a situation like that where I'm walking behind a girl at the same pace, I call my mom. I just do that. Hi, mom. Just coming back from the shelter with puppies. I know. know Yeah another day

Rape free When you walk around Do you like Are you like On the look Out Are you like Head on a swivel

Yeah That I learned about How much just like The average chick Is like Like I know multiple girls Who are like I look at shadows and reflections and shit.

I'm like, God damn, that sucks. Like you're just a regular person. Like you're not living in a bad neighborhood. You don't have a reason to really like, you know, but you're still like,

I have to be ready. That blows dick. I have case. My cousin had moved to New York for like, she'd probably been here like six months and I just got around to getting dinner with her. And she's like, do you ever feel like unsafe in the city? And I was like, no, but I'm like – I got a 41-inch waist.

I'm like a bigger guy. So like no, I'm never like – and she's like, I feel unsafe a lot. I was like, really? I know. It makes sense though. Yeah. I mean there are times like – I never –

Like I was thinking about this the other day. I was walking to my car by the garden, which has become like, you know, a lot of drugs, a lot of homeless people, a lot of vagrants walking past like the stoop, people screaming, yelling, needles fight. I don't know. And I just was like, I'm just walking in my car. It doesn't even phase me. And I was like, this probably should phase me a little bit because I could just get snatched up just like any other chick. I'm not going to fucking, you know and I just was like I'm just walking to my car it doesn't even phase me and I was like this probably should phase me a little bit

because I could just get snatched up just like any other chick I'm not gonna fucking you know what I mean but I was just like I don't know I've just been so a part of this my whole life that I'm just like I don't know whatever the only time I feel unsafe is when I'm walking like by scaffolding or construction at night

because sometimes rats scurry the rats are the ones. That's worse than the humans. On my street, they're doing construction by the subway. There's a big hole in the ground, which obviously disturbs some rats. And there's

not scaffolding, but I guess there's some scaffolding. And they always scurry back and forth. So I'll go around the block. I don't. That scares me. Don't fuck a rat.

I'd rather. If a rat came out and, like, ran across the front of my feet, I would scream. Like, no one's ever screamed. I had a tail hit my ankle one time. I would die. Really? I would die. You're that bad, huh?

That's from that one time that rat took over your apartment you got ptsd from the rat dude the rat dude that like i would die i don't know i i think i i don't know i i i don't know what i would do if a rat's tail on the tail a tail on the ankle is particularly like, ooh. Oh, my God. My mom used to tell me that rats at Shea Stadium were legitimately the size of cats. She was like, no exaggeration, a full cat-sized rat. I don't think I knew this was his thing as much as it's his thing.

We should do like a lot in the bar with some rodents. I honestly don't think I knew this was his thing as much as it's his thing. We should do like low in the bar with some rodents. I honestly don't think I knew either. It's kind of like the fear of the – if we did low in the bar, I bet I'd be fine. It's the unknowing. If you're like here's a rat in a box. Yeah, I think I'd be – I wouldn't love it, but I wouldn't be like no. But it's just like a rat might fucking come running out here. Also, these rats in the streets, they're cut different.

They're different animals, literally. All right, let's go. It's the holiday season. It's a little bit early. I'm going to call it before we get to Thanksgiving. It's the holidays. They are here, which means it is time to get your drink on, get your party on, reunite with some friends, have some cocktails. Sit by the fire.

Party. Whether you're having. I just had my high school reunion. We were getting together, throwing them back. Whether you're. It's Wednesday night before Thanksgiving. Whatever it is, it's time to drink your pirate water. I was going to call it party water because that's basically what it is.

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yeah you want to warm up on the ski slopes drink drink some Pirate Water. It's 10% alcohol by volume in a 16-ounce can that costs $2. You can find them in your local bodegas, corner stores, gas stations. $2 a can. You can buy them as loosies or you can buy them in a pack. Four different flavors and all

of them are very cheap and very much get the job done. Go to drinkpiratewater.com to find the Pirate Water location near you, or you can order it off of GoPuff. Also, follow along and tag at Pirate Water on all social media for a chance to be reposted. That's drinkpiratewater.com to find a location that sells Pirate Water near you today. What's going on, KFC Radio Gang? Jackie, Pabst, Fights kfc um got an am i the

asshole question for you for this voicemail um but quick little update i don't know if you guys remember i was the guy that basically blew somebody off uh blew a girl asking me out yeah off to avoid dc traffic yep she saw the other voicemail thought it was hilarious how oblivious i was um and thought it was funny because traffic was the whole reason why i was just completely focused on something else um been on a couple dates with her been pretty fun so far but the am i the asshole stems from a debate we actually had the other day. So I buy, uh, I only buy really two Christmas gifts a year, um, for my buddy's younger kids. Uh, they're seven and five, seven year old boy, five year old girl. Um, and I buy the boy a Hestoy truck, um, every year. And then I buy his daughter a Barbie every

year. And the MIT asshole comes from her, like the girl that i'm seeing she was basically like you're an asshole for buying the same gift every year and i'm like well first of all they've been getting the same gift every year for the past like two to three years and they're kids so they don't really care that they're getting the same thing every year they're getting a different version of it every year it's not like i'm re-gifting the same thing every year. I just want to hear people's take on it. Am I the asshole for getting these kids a different version of the same thing every year? I don't think so, personally. I mean, I'd like to hear KFC's take on this since you have youngish kids too.

So I just want to know. Am I the asshole? Both these things are like collectibles. If you're into hedge trucks, did you ever have them as a kid? I didn't have them, but I know. I'm an asshole. Both these things are like collectibles. The Hestrux, if you're into Hestrux, you know, did you ever like have them as a kid? I didn't have them, but I know. But there's one every Christmas. I was like, I was, my aunt always got them and I always wanted to know what each year was.

One year they had a helicopter, one year they had a this, they had a that. And Barbie dolls, you can get like infinite Barbie dolls. Yeah. So if you get like the same remote control car every year the same fucking thing literally every year i think eventually they're going to be like i don't want this but they're young it's things that change every year and they're collectibles i i think the i i do it with my nephew where i just gave him the same thing but i gave him the same genre i give him sneakers that's what i mean but like yeah you got him the same sneakers every year, you'd be like, what are we doing?

Yeah. But it's like every year you get a pair of this, a pair of that, the new one out, the new color, the new, you know. You're very in the clear. Totally.

Totally in the clear. I mean, that's totally fine. I thought it was going to be like you get the boy a truck and the girl a doll. Yeah.

It's what they want. Yeah, it's what they fucking want. Oh, by the way, real quick. That is a fat joke. Rule of thumb with kids, you can't get them anything alive. You can't get them anything that makes noise. And you can't get them anything that has over, like, 10 pieces.

Like, somebody gave Keegan a Lego box that said 890 pieces. Who the fuck do you think is going to have 890 pieces? Who do you think is going to be doing that? Ham or me? That's crazy. Crazy. I don't want to put it together. I don't want to hear the drum set.

And I don't want to have to keep the thing alive. Those are three things you cannot get any children. This guy has a hammer. Yeah, big old lip. KFC fights past. That's got to be for show. Quick thing. I know I'm a little late, KFC fights pass that's gotta be for sure uh quick thing just uh

I know I'm a little late but this whole sign stealing thing going on with Michigan and uh I just don't get it it's

it's it's fucking retarded to me if you if your signs can get can get stolen that easily then you just probably need new signs

and you know I'm a Yankees fan so I know like we got fucked by the Astros but I didn't give a fuck about that like I don't see why can get stolen that easily, then you just probably need new signs. And, you know, I'm a Yankees fan, so I know we got fucked by the Astros, but I didn't give a fuck about that. There's probably some girl walking ahead of him in the darkness right now. If I can sit there and watch your game and figure out what it means when there's...

Dave Portnoy, once again, has, like, the football team to rally around. Bro, I told you. It's happening again. I'm obviously very... And it's also when the when the patriots are bad whenever the whenever michigan was bad he would just go i don't care about college football i'm a i like nfl yeah now everyone's like the patriots suck and he's like i'm fighting a war over here in college football and they're good and it's like and it's again the

same thing of like well regular people are like i don't really think that's cheating so they are kind of like this the victims almost. It's like, how? You can't keep getting away with this. Dude, we were in Chicago, and I was like, I'm obviously aware of this, but I haven't dived into it. It doesn't affect me at all. So I don't have the knowledge of it like I did with Deflategate and Spagate, and I didn't know fucking ideal gas law and shit like that.

So I was like, just give me the rundown, like what's happening in Michigan? And he's like, it's basically like Deflategate. And I was like, I fucking knew it. I'm so jealous. And he's like, it's awesome. I had a friend, not a friend, a Stooley listener DM me and was like, I work in college athletics, like rules. I can't remember how he phrased the jurisdiction some shit he's

like this is gonna be a big deal this was a couple weeks ago he was like this this is there and this is not gonna just go away and i was like i don't know it seems pretty stupid and he's like i told you so i mean it's like the best thing that can happen to you yeah it's like what i was talking about with taylor swift re-recording her songs you want like just a little bit of controversy that doesn't really harm you but gets everyone to be like, let's go. It's like now somehow Michigan is the number one team in the country. They're like the underdogs.

Fucking incredible. With like they got the fucking Connor Stallions. I believe his name was Jim McNally was the Pats guy. Yeah. I thought it was the plate and the balls. Yeah, you have all these weird characters. Dude, it's – And then – Dave keeps going, Connor Stallions. Yeah, you have all these weird characters. Dude, it's – And then –

Dave keeps going, Conor Stallion is an American veteran. The veteran of war. Dude, Conor Stallion represented himself in court. That's gangster. And said the reason his neighbors were suing him was because they fucking – they hate the Marines. He's the best. It's like –

Yeah, like that's – even if you're wrong, you're right. Bro, and then the fucking hardball gets suspended and the whole team just tweets bet. Dude, that guy crying. Did you see that? Yeah, yeah. Fucking love you, dude. He doesn't have cancer.

He's just not allowed to coach on Saturdays. You'll see him tomorrow. He's at the Ritz right now. He's totally fine. It is. And they're going to win like every single game by 50 regardless of if this happened or not. And then it's just about the playoff. And then you have a little bit of extra motivation. It's's incredible it's the best thing that can happen i'm so i i i tweeted that i was like what i would give because i

actually you know it's kind of funny this comes up because like i obviously have had uh not obviously i don't know but like there's been i have noticed or realized now that there's been something missing in my sports life for a while. And it's – I haven't had a villain. You like to say that when the Yankees get eliminated, that's your championship. So you have this villain. And I haven't really had one probably since like Peyton left Indy where like – You also had a villain in a weird way of like, what I had with Lindor. You had famous

David Price, you had Tuca Raskin, somebody to rally around. But the... So when Peyton left Indy, obviously that was kind of the end of the villain arc of him. And then the Patriots vanquished so many villains that there weren't any for a while, and then you just started fighting the league, and that's when

the Flaygate came in. And like the yankees they fell out like i don't really remember exactly when it was but oh four was definitely the i don't know if it was the final blow but like oh four was kind of like okay it's not the same anymore right you really like we're equals in this fucking yeah it's whatever yeah um and i haven't had one and the canadians have sucked and the can have sucked, and the Canadians are kind of – Sorry, we're going to interrupt. Have the Yankees ever in recent years gone through the Red Sox while winning a World Series? No.

No. No. I don't think so. Obviously, O-9 will be the only option. Do you think they've either lost to them or didn't get the job done? I think they lose in the playoffs most times they play. But we played the Canadians on Saturday. Yeah.

And fucking the fans sucked. And the refs sucked. And they got little fucking dirtbags on their team again. And I was like, I forgot how much I love hating you. Sports is about hate. Like, I need you. Love is whatever. It's hate. It really was some Joker Batman shit.

Where it's like, we need each other. You need me. I need you. I can't. Like, I fucking Brendan Gallagher. like, we need each other. You need me. I need you. I can't. Fucking Brendan Gallagher. I forgot about that. Because the Bruins had beaten the Canadians ten times in a row. That wasn't...

They had a little... They played in the cup in the bubble, but that was fake. Carey Price just threw it on his head. I think they were an eight seed that got into the playoffs, but then all the regions shifted and they had an easier path. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It ended up being, you know, they made the cup finals,

but they got fucking, I think they got swept by the elite lightning. But there hasn't been, like, a hate. And I was like, oh, this is so important. Like, this, rooting for your team is amazing. Whatever. I saw a clip of DMX earlier today, and he goes, I had a lot of hate in my heart. He's goes, I had a lot of hate in my heart. He's like, I had a fun life.

I had a good time, but I hate things. Who wants to be happy all the time? You want to take advantage of your youth to be happy all the time? Fuck that. You need some hate. Yes, yes. It was. It's not like.

It's not through you. It's that. It's not because I don't. It's like you need an enemy. You need someone to focus your hate on. You need Hitler. Yeah, you need Hitler. You need fucking Hitler.

Luckily, the Canadians. Oh, you need a Hitler. You need a fucking Hitler. Luckily, the Canadians. Oh, my God, bro! That's like the evolution of, like, when you guys were kids, it was like, fucking, I'm going to put a pumpkin on my head. You hit me with a baseball bat. Now it's like we have access to epidural drugs and crazy doctors and shit. Let's go. That is –

Jesus. That's got to be the most illegal thing you've ever done, right? Or I guess they've – I mean there's another one where I get general anesthesia in my veins while I'm riding a bicycle. Can we see that one? Yeah. We'll do it. We'll do it. Yeah. There's one where I get general anesthesia in my veins while I'm riding a bicycle. What? Can we see that one? Yeah. We'll do it.

We'll do it. Yeah. That is fucking with, like, again, if you're just doing, like, crazy shit that you can grab around the house or, you know, whatever is one thing. General anesthesia is, like, the most dangerous thing. It's like you go into a coma. Bro. We put you in a coma.

Well, you stop breathing. Yeah. That's why they put a tube down your throat for surgery. like you go into a coma. Bro. We put you in a coma. Well, you stop breathing. Yeah. That's why they put a tube down your throat for surgery. So you're riding a bike. Yeah. Hey, we should start. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did we start already?

We started. Let's go. We got it. All right. So you're riding the bike. Yeah. And you have a tube? No.

The idea started as a tranquilizer dart bit. I wanted to line up for a foot race. And it starts like, on your mark, get set. They shoot tranquilizer darts into our butt cheeks. And then we see who can run the farthest before they fall on their face. And we found the guy with the tranquilizer dart gun ready to go but he tells us that that what's in the darts is animal tranquilizer also known as ketamine yeah so i'm a drug addict in recovery i'm like oh god and this is like the most like tug of war Like this is just like

The two things most important to me Colliding Yeah You know like My ambition and my recovery Right Like it doesn't get more Now

But it's I mean it is ketamine And that's not a drug you want to fuck around with But all of these things Like even the anesthesia Right Those are like drugs But it's just

The thought of it being a Recreational drug that you could use Right Drugs you haven't done for fun I love ketamine Oh okay even the anesthesia and the those are like drugs but it's just the thought of it being a recreational drug that you could use right drugs you have a body yeah i love ketamine okay i love ketamine that's a problem got it and um since i got clean and sober i've had like tons of surgeries and endoscopies colonoscopy like they get, I get knocked out of general anesthesia. That doesn't affect you at all. I mean, I always look forward to it. That last second before you pass out on general or whatever,

when they give you, like, a little bit of a sedative, and then they have you count down from, like, 100 and you get to 98, and I'm always like, can I get to, like, 97? I just want to get to 96 one day. Those four seconds were great. It is awesome, but i've never relapsed over it so i felt like pretty comfortable afterwards uh you do you don't do pain meds or no when i would like you just i've been sober for 15 years now and i've never even filled out a prescription so you'll have major surgery and just gotta like yeah i mean hurt your teeth and go through it?

Whatever they give me in the hospital is fine. Like I'll take it. But it's just once I leave the hospital, like I don't want to be in possession of painkillers. That's why you're doing

crazy stunts. Yeah, they'll give me like whatever comes through the IV, like you know. Whenever they give me in the hospital, I just don't take possession

of anything. We mentioned, there's an email getting sent out when we have guests coming in, and I was hanging out in the content area, and people were like, whoa, Steve-O's coming today? And I was like, yeah. And someone asked, I thought, a good question where they were like, of all the famous addicts, who do you think had the highest run? Who do you think has done gone the craziest?

I don't know. Charlie Sheen's a pretty good bet. I thought you had your peak. You got control of it. Not control, maybe, but you put a pin in it and ended it fast, I feel like. Well, I mean,

that's kind of what typically happens is that it gets super bad. Nobody gets clean and sober because it was kind of bad. Yeah. You keep doing it through that. Yeah. That's the... I have a friend from my hometown, a family friend, Chris Herron, who – famous addict.

And he – Great at basketball. Great. Probably would have been the greatest of all time. He has a recovery foundation and stuff like that. But he had a – I saw him give a speech when I was in high school where he had a kind of cool quote where he was like, picture an addict. And everyone pictures someone in despair and all that. And he's like, that's not what an addict looks like.

An addict looks like a regular person. What you're picturing is someone at the end of the rope. Like a regular addict is functioning and is fine. You're picturing someone bad. And I was like, oh, that's a pretty good point. I feel like there's still people – there's been a big movement in mental health and drug addiction that people are like – whenever somebody tragically passes away, it's like you have to speak up about it and like it could be anybody. But it's still – I don't think people get that it really is – could be anybody. Sure. I mean the disease of addiction does not discriminate i think we're

clear on that i think that the stigma of being an addict or an alcoholic is is gone i don't think that you don't think so i feel like there still is people say that but like in everyday walk of life i feel like people will still judge or be super surprised or it's not controversial to say i'm clean and sober you know like in recovery yeah like that's not gonna like in the beginning that was a concern for like the people who started aa and stuff they're like whoa you know we don't necessarily need to broadcast that we're alcoholics right but i think robert downey jr which isn't too long ago that was like a big deal you interviewed him no no i'm just saying like yeah like the fact that he got – like getting back into – I think he started back with what, Ally McBeal or something like that.

Right. He's been sober for a long time. It was like – I think there was a lot of red tape that they had to get through to get him to be Iron Man because they were – Disney wasn't sure about it. Right. I mean he's got to be one of the greatest examples ever of recovery and success. Yeah, big time.

What is still very stigmatized is sex addiction. It's not very cool to jump up and say, I'm a sex addict. Are you sad? I'm a sex addict. Yeah. But you're married now, right? I'm engaged. I'm engaged. And my partner, my girl, Lux, I think I can speak for her that she's grateful that I make it a real priority to keep my shit on track, to have integrity, do the right thing when nobody's watching.

She knows that that i i keep it right yeah and i'd rather i'd rather be the guy who says i'm a sex addict and i work really hard to do the right thing than the guy who doesn't say anything and it's just a scumbag yeah well it almost keeps you accountable right in a way by just by being open about it maybe a buddy or somebody's like don't go there or stay away from this or that. I'm super ignorant about sex addiction, so forgive me if questions go wrong. Yeah, go for it, man. But like does that happen with Lux? Are you like – do you always want to fuck?

Is being a sex addict and living with a woman like living with a bag of heroin in the house? No, no. I love that question. Because you're allowed to fuck her. I love that question. Right. one in the house no no and i love that you're allowed to i love that question right i think that that the difference between sex addiction and say alcoholism or drug addiction is that it's really black and white with the the chemical substances you just don't have them it's black you know like you don't have them you're not supposed to have them. You're better off not having them. So it's just like that.

But when it comes to food or sex, you've got to eat, and you can't change the fact that you're a sexual creature. So it's not about eliminating the behavior. It's about finding a new and healthy approach to it that doesn't cause shame and destruction. And you never considered finding that newer and healthy approach with other addictions of yours? There's no healthy approach to cocaine.

Put that on a fucking medical board study. There's no healthy approach going hey dr schievo right and like you know a lot of people a lot of people can smoke marijuana and have no problem with that but you know weed's actually one of the things that i've no i've ever been like i gotta stop doing weed because because that weed sticks with me the day. I feel like the fog and stuff like that. Weed is one of the few ones where I was like, I think I'm just going to – I still do it occasionally on the weekends and stuff like that, but I stopped smoking weed as often as I did. Weed is the one thing that I can say that I miss the most.

Really? Yeah, but I also believe pretty strongly that my weed bone is connected to my booze bone and my booze bone is connected to my coke bone. My coke bone is connected to my booze bone and my booze bone is connected to my coke bone my coke bone is connected to my pill bone like it's all just like dominoes that fall down like if i try to do one thing then i end up on everything yeah so like it's really like california sober doesn't doesn't work for me right right what do you think about that like the california i i feel like what people i think think Demi Lovato was California sober and The Weeknd was – what was he? Sober light.

You're just like inventing words to describe not sober. Yeah, I don't get why you feel the need to use that word, especially when there are people out there who are like busting their ass to be fully sober. It's like just say you don't drink or you don't do these drugs but you do these drugs why i can speak for the entire recovery community when i say that there's no judgment in whatever approach you want to take like if you can smoke weed and be like happy and and healthy and have a great life, then hell yeah. That's all any of us want. It's just our experience that what makes us addicts and alcoholics is that we just can't do that. If you can, that's great.

It's kind of like if I was diabetic, then I wouldn't be mad at you for ingesting sugar. I just can't have sugar. Nick Swartzen had a good bit about that. If I was at the dinner and someone didn't use ketchup, I was like, do you mind if I put ketchup in my fries? Yeah, go ahead. The exception to that is with weed because I don't want to be breathing it into my lungs. Then it's entering my body. I love the way it smells and it makes

me sad because I can't have it. It's been tough here in New York. You walk around anywhere on the sidewalk that you might be. It's powerful, overwhelming marijuana clouds. It's that powerful, overwhelming marijuana clouds. It's that no fucking around weed too.

It's not just let me get a couple hits and smoke a whole joint. It's like, oh, I'm high. Weed's too strong for me now. I want to go back in the day where it's like shitty. It's gnarly. It's really, really gnarly. But yeah, man, it's good to see you guys again. It's great to see you too, brother.

I'm super stoked. And you – I would imagine most people when they do recovery are like going to live like a low-key, chill life. And you go out there and do the exact fucking opposite of that. Do you think – I think you also might be like a thrill addiction, no? Attention addiction for sure addiction. For sure. It's like, stop doing this shit, Steve. Just sit on the couch and watch some TV, you fucking maniac. What was the process like getting Bill to drag you around the helicopter? Oh, dude.

We didn't realize it the first cut. Yeah. The second cut, I was like, that's Bill because I knew he flies helicopters. Yeah, Bill Burr, man. I wanted the opening sequence of my Bucket List special. I always want the opening sequence to be epic. Dude, I remember the last – I forget the opening sequence of my Bucket List special I always want the opening sequence to be epic I forget the name, I'm sorry I remember the last one you drove

duct tape to the bus and it was called Gnarly, and dude, thanks for knowing that we drove you down the highway I love the fucking roses on the map well the whole show is really a love story so there were two things I wanted to do with the opening sequence i wanted to um like grab a rope ladder like attached to a helicopter and just like grab it and have it lift me off and fly me around and um and and i wanted

it to i wanted to drop from the rope ladder onto the roof of my moving tour bus kind of as a way to get me to the theater. And then we got more ambitious. We started figuring out how to swing me through electrical wires and have all kinds of crazy – Is that real? That was a lot. The phone company came in and installed special uh telephone poles oh shit and like the what they call transistors trans trans transformer box yeah like um yeah we definitely took some liberties with that just to make like watch out

for the wires and that's the thing is that I had filmed that opening sequence. And then I showed it to Bill. And I was like, hey, Bill, could we shoot you flying a helicopter to cut it in so that you're the helicopter pilot flying me all around? And what a bro. He was like, dude, you rent the helicopter, I'll fly it. Are you friends with him? You were friends with him prior to this? I've known him not super well. But he's just always been, like, really supportive.

Yeah. And, you know. There's nobody that doesn't like you guys. He's like everybody, you know, would be, like, down, you know, be with you guys, work with you guys, whatever. Not everybody in stand-up comedy has really, like, embraced Steve-O the comedian. I could see that. embraced Steve-O, the comedian. And Bill is like, Bill's actually pushed back

on other comedians to their faces, saying like, what, you got a fucking problem with this guy? It's pretty rad the way that Bill Burr has stood up for me and signed off on me and supported me. It's just really rad. You've also done it in a very clearly your own Steve-O way.

If you were up there just being like, I'm a traditional stand-up comedian, and you cut the corners, and I don't know. I feel like if you can fill a room with your fans, you get to be on the stage and do whatever the fuck you want. But I do get that there's pay your dues, and there's this history behind it all. But you're very much like, you're going to watch these clips.

We're going to do outrageous stuff. It's very Steve-O. I appreciate that and I agree with that. I think that above all else, it is a very democratic art. If the people like it, you're a singer-songwriter. It's democratic. If people people want it then they're going to support it if if you're not delivering a show that satisfies the audience then there's not going to be an audience and you're not going to continue and if there is one like you got to

shut the fuck and you don't like it you got to shut the fuck up right you know for sure whether it's your style of comedy or the jokes or man, woman, big, small. It doesn't – you know what I mean? Yeah. It's crazy to me. In the beginning, it was like, oh, wow, this would be great. Like if I can establish myself as a stand-up comedian, then like when breaking bones and shoving things up my butt doesn't make sense anymore, like I'll have that. Like there's more longevity in that.

You think, dude? You think? butt doesn't make sense anymore like i'll have that like there's more longevity in that you think yeah and and that was back in 2010 when uh when i when i started the comedy club circuit and over the course of the last 13 years like my worlds have just like grown closer together and ultimately just collided yeah where it's just where it's jackass meets stand up so this new show the bucket list it's the the wildest most over the top shit that i would never even be able to do for jackass and that that's the bucket list and the show is a journey through the bucket list in descending order of my fiance's approval and support in the beginning she's all about it she's filming it yeah in the beginning like she's she's all and then she's like yeah she's not loving it

she's like kind of and then she stops showing up and then and then like and then we've got problems you know so that's why it's a love story you know that's why it's that realist depiction of love right i put the fucking relationship to the test with this bucket list and so yeah it's rad and and having been a stand-up comedian for 13 years like i developed the craft to the point where now it's like i'm operating at you know high levels in in the whole thing all of it put together and yeah like i'm not emulating what i think a stand-up comedian is you know not even i'm like all right i'm gonna take you on a fucked up journey and what's fun about it is that, I think most comedians either entirely make up the stories in their act or ridiculously exaggerate and embellish. You're the only one.

Not only do I, like, specifically stick to the truth. After I tell the stories, then I screen the video, which provides the receipts for every implausible detail. It's like hearing somebody tell you something. Yeah, I bet. Yeah, sure. And then you see the exact fucking thing in the video, which is so much fun. I wonder if Steve-O could even

tell somebody a lie. It's a tough one. He could tell me anything, and I'd be like, he's telling the truth. If like i you could tell me anything and i'd be like that's he's telling the truth yeah yeah there's nothing if you played two truths and a lie i'd be i don't fucking know man they're all you did them all that it's it's it's tough and here's one thing that people will accuse me of being dishonest about and i categorically was not like the in the bucket list one of the earlier stunts that that my fiance is totally down with was called the vasectomy olympics because we don't want to have kids we just want to have a farm with a bunch of animals and fuck children so so yeah that's not what i meant epstein's in his grave like hey that's my thing

yeah that's funny yeah we get you we got you thank you for clearing that up and and so like so i got a vasectomy and the idea like i heard a joke when i was a little kid what's the definition of macho it's a man who jogs home from his own vasectomy and i always remembered that joke because i love the idea of being macho and so i literally grew up with the idea that i should get a vasectomy and then just go ham doing wild shit you know and so like the idea was you know get a vasectomy and go like bareback horseback riding most people go home and sit on the bag of peen is the joke right and then and then i'm like dressed up as a pinata with little kids whacking me in the balls with a stick.

It's outrageous. It's over the top. It's really funny and the bit pays off with like a gnarly aftermath. Your dick's gotta be begging you to stop. Yeah, your dick and balls got dealt the worst

fucking hand ever. Could have just been connected to a nice vanilla sex normal person. Can I be an accountant in Nebraska? I've been beat to death. I've had alligators bite me. I'm getting tased. I'm getting fucked constantly. Jesus, just leave me alone, dude.

I don't disagree. Staples. Yeah. But the thing, the actual procedure of the vasectomy is like minimally invasive. I thought the footage was

underwhelming. I'm like, man, I'm glad I went so crazy afterwards. Do they go in or they open you? They make like the tiniest incision and then just like tweeze out. Like underneath or like in your... It's called a vas deferens, which is the tube that delivers sperm

from your nuts to your wiener. And they just like pull it out with tweezers and cut that thing. But as soon as I started the tour, I'd tell the stories and then I'd pay them off with the video. When we played the vasectomy bit, we learned that people in the audience were straight fucking passing out. Really?

Yeah, we would average a person a show. Then the shows got bigger because I graduated to theaters. Probability. Yeah. The numbers. like a person a show then the shows got bigger because i graduated to theaters and um you know probability yeah you know like the numbers right still the sample size gets bigger there were always some shows where nobody would pass out but we had shows where like the most we had was 11 people pass out yeah and this one like yeah or just like boom boom boom they all drop a sex to me and then the the epidural foot race. That one makes you pass out. When chicks get the epidural when they're giving birth, a lot of times the doctors will tell the dad to either look away or leave the room.

Really? Because there are dads who are like, I'm cool. I'm fine with this. And then you see them go in and they pass out. Yeah. And then there's the cauliflower ear bit where like my my ear just completely fucking explodes because the greatest mixed martial artist of all time is whacking it with a hammer i'm trying to do what with a hammer yeah like why do you need a mixed martial artist

yeah but john jones yeah which which you did like. It just exploded. It looks great now, though. I had the who's who of the UFC Hall of Fame do everything in their power to try to give me cauliflower. Chuck Liddell, Ronda Rousey, John Jones. And it turns out that I seem to be one of these people who cannot get cauliflower here, no matter how hard you try. So you would put it on – like he didn't hit you in the head with a hammer, just your ear, right? So you hold it and put it against something? He has this workout machine with a super heavy metal base,

and I lay on the ground and put my ear... I was going to say, I don't think I would ever pass out or something. If I was forced to watch that, I think I would... We sandwiched my ear between the metal base of his workout machine and his current light heavyweight championship belt. And he took the hammer to the belt until my ear literally exploded. Oh, my God. And people pass out from that, too.

But it looks good now. I mean, it never stopped looking good. I mean, there was a huge piece that was just flapping off, and John cut it off with scissors. Did it grow back? It didn't grow back. It just kind of healed. Oh, my God. Dude, that is...

Do you think you're like an alien? I don't know that I'm an alien. Do you think that there's something physiologically, biologically different from me and you when it comes to pain or whatever? That it's not just mental that you're a little bit you actually feel differently than I do? I think that I have an attention-seeking disorder. I don't have a special threshold for pain. I just have a desire for attention

which outweighs my desire for comfort. You're fucking telling me, dude. The understatement of the century, dog. Yeah. That's crazy. The people passing out. Okay, so at the taping, I had been making a big deal out of people passing out

kind of throughout the tour. And for the taping, I told the production company, like, look, I need to go bonkers and have more coverage of the audience than there's ever been for a comedy special. Because wherever in the audience somebody passes out, I need to get it. And we taped this special in one night, two shows. At the early show, five people passed out. The the early show five people passed out the late show three people passed out i could not have planted this dude myself and this is what i'm saying people are

going to accuse me of being dishonest they're going to say that i hired an actor to pretend to pass out and i'm telling you i did not and and i was i even said it on stage didn't make the cut but i was like man people people are gonna accuse me of playing this guy because he was in the second row and in the second seat in from the center aisle and it's it's perfectly well captured you can see him like he's like oh, oh, dude, to his buddy, he's like, oh, I got to get out of here. He tries to get past his buddy, but he just kind of slumps over him and lands on his face in the center aisle, which is carpeted, and slides across it on his face. And then he's just out, face down. The dude had the gnarliest carpet burn on his face and like

you know there's a uh what do you call it like it's called cable cast there's a big sign on the on the wall when you go in the theater it says like by entering this area you you agree to being filmed you know like you release your image but because this guy like did this gnarly face plant and like now like he's the center of attention like that they went to him the producers with the release from they're like oh man can you sign this so that we can show that and the guy was embarrassed so he's like i'm not fucking signing that no way so so it's like we blurred his face okay so like the only real downside of that

is that you can't see the raspberry that he had on his face you know because that would like there's nobody that I mean you can tell

if it's not fucking fake you can tell it's not but dude it's just so is there any liability like

I mean dude like the first thing you saw the warning at the top. Like there's a chance he might pass out. You're watching at your own risk. Before the vasectomy video, I always say, like, you know, for legal reasons, I have to say you're watching this at your own risk. That one's so funny.

I wouldn't think that's that gruesome. Which one? The vasectomy? The ear thing, for sure. That sounds like you're watching New Evil Torture. The vasectomy, and I would love to encourage people to get vasectomies. It's like for the person getting the vasectomy, it's just like going to the dentist where they make just the area of the tooth numb so you do feel

the little prick when they inject the the anesthesia in you know to make but then you don't feel where they're grinding on your tooth whatever like you don't feel it because it's numb right the only thing you feel is the initial prick. When did you decide on the vasectomy? Shit, I decided years ago. I feel like your wheels are spinning. Well, because that's my – like I don't want kids. And I just keep waking up every day being like maybe today – I'm not getting a vasectomy because I'm like maybe today my biology will flip and I want a kid.

And everything I'm like – I get when I'm like, fucking God, there's not a kid here. It's pretty gnarly if you think about it. I mean I get it that there was a time when people generally lived on farms. Like they needed workers. They did have more kids because there's a lot of work that needs to be done to run the farm. Which is fucking crazy when you think about it. And there was also the philosophy of have a bunch of kids because when you're properly elderly, you're going to want to have those kids to care for you in the last days of your life. But that's not what's going on.

Nobody lives on a fucking farm. And no kids are taking care of their parents. It's the other way around. You just keep going forever and ever. The kids are fucking 45 years old and they still live with mom and dad. It's the most expensive pet you could possibly get. That's the same thing you're saying with like they take care of your den.

You're right, they don't. And then like I'm going to invest money for 60 years so someone fucking buys my – like there's a nurse around. Right. So do you – I mean like I'm very, very clear on not wanting to have kids. The first time I brought up the vasectomy Olympics was around the time that we filmed our first Jackass movie over 20 years ago.

The first Jackass movie just turned 21 years old. Wow. And I remember it was around that time. I said, Dad, it's going to be great. I'm going to do the vasectomy Olympics. And my dad was like uncharacteristically emotional. He said, son, don't do it. Don't do it.

Because it's very permanent, right? He said, if it were not for me and my sister, emotionally said son don't do it don't do it because it's very permanent right he said he said if it were not for me and my sister that his life would not be uh as full and as enriched and i said yeah well dad you got kind of fucking lucky you know you were this close to having the worst situation which you can possibly be in which is a parent losing a child right you know like they're like they like that the idea of having a child it's like your heart now resides outside of your body and like is vulnerable to i i couldn't stand the fucking the pressure the anxiety of that and like i have three main reasons number one is my problematic dna you know i was wondering

if you were worried about passing on so on my mom's side of the family a hundred percent of the family trades riddled with alcoholism addiction gambling, gambling, and suicide. Not fun. It's not fun. You know, like passing that, like me having a kid would be, it would be like playing Russian roulette with a fully loaded weapon. You know,

like I'm going to have a problem. Right, right. When people, again, there's no, not one piece of the DNA can squeak through. And I feel like sometimes, I mean, that sucks. If you feel like you really want to have kids and you have that family history.

I don't know what you do there. But it does feel like you're going to bring this person into the world and you're really going to burden them with some shit. You might not want to do that. I don't – Usually having kids is not selfish in a sense. But in this case, it is. I don't want to have kids because the second reason i like i don't want to give up my life you know like i don't like when you have a kid you all of a sudden no longer have a life like now you just have a priority which is your

child's life and like you know i'm just really okay with admitting that I'm way too self-absorbed. I'm way too – I don't think there's anything wrong with admitting that. Right. I just like – it's just not – It's better to be honest with yourself than have somebody – like a girl convinces you to have a kid. Right. And you're deep down, you know, I don't want this, but I'm going to do it anyway.

And then you're a shitty dad or it's a shitty relationship or whatever. It's like – And then the third reason, like, look at the fucking world. Like, do you really want it on your conscience that you created a person to deal with this fucking situation that the world is becoming? That I would push back on, though, because, like, the flip side of that is, like like look how awesome the world is. Look what you're doing. Look what – like the people you've met, the shit that you've done, the – you're living out a dream. That's pretty optimistic. Well, I think as – the worst part of the world being like a war-torn, violent, whatever, blah, blah, blah, is the one extreme.

And then like living out your dream is the one extreme and then then like you know living out your dream is the other extreme okay so you don't you know you have a kid it's like you're not guaranteed to like die in a terrorist attack the same way it's probably you're probably not going to become uh an athlete or an entertainer or whatever but there's in between all right i mean i i applaud your optimism i think i think it's i think it's The way I view it, we live in an age of straight mega threats. Mega threats. Like climate change is a lot gnarlier than anybody wants to admit. You know, like the number of like more than a billion dollar natural disasters is just preposterous.

We were talking about preventing the erosion of Manhattan the other day, and it's going to cost 53 billion dollars. I mean, dude, that's just the regular waves, the regular water. Forget about a tsunami or a fucking earthquake.

Or one way that could prevent it. Every little half-ass fucking hurricane is over a billion. These weather events. Do you notice on the news? Do you see why I'm not having kids because the weather is hilarious? Do you notice on the news they talk about a once-in-a-century storm? Every year. Once a year.

Once a year. It's like once a month. It's crazy. We did that with New York with the hurricanes. it was you know hurricane sandy was a once in a lifetime and then it was like ida and there's like rattle off like five names right and it's not all even hurricanes it's just like like whatever like like just but you don't you don't think that like you're you're also an example of how awesome life is well i i do i do i think i'm i'm profoundly grateful for how fortunate i've been and i'm not comfortable um risking it i'm not comfortable betting on my offspring having such

good fortune as i did that's fair that's i mean because it is a one in a million shot and i'm guessing like maybe you guys which generation are you like uh i was born in 85 so okay i'm born in 74 we can lump us in with the same generation fuck it so we can probably still say that your parents are our parents uh graduating from a university meant placement in a career of their choosing. For us, not so much. It was like consensus would agree that a university diploma was helpful, but not a guarantee of anything. And now for our children, a university diploma, it means absolutely nothing but being mired in debt.

Mired in debt and, like, you know, bed, like. That was the, there was a, Biden said something, I don't want to get too political, but Biden said something the other day where he was like, I think going to college should be a gateway to the middle class. I was like, that didn't used to be a gateway to the middle class, dude. Sure. The fact that it's not, yeah, that's crazy. How about this?

Like, we don't have a middle class anymore. The middle class fucking evaporated. The middle class evaporated and the disgusting wealth disparity has ceased to be funny. Like the dwindling opportunity where hardworking, honest, good people cannot afford their rent.

You know, like it's just really fucked up. And on top of that, the debt, I mean like the $30 trillion in debt does not even factor in what's called unfunded liabilities, which means like Social Security, Medicare. Once you factor in all of that, which has to be paid by the government, you're talking over $100 trillion. It's just like such a fucking number. It's just like what are we talking about? And there's only two ways out of it. You pay it and we can't do that. We can't even pay the interest on it.

We literally can't even pay the interest on it and that's why we have oh, they're going to shut down the government over debt ceiling talks because we're trying to figure out how to pay the interest on what we owe. We're never going to pay the debt and the only other way is to inflate the money away. So we're like post-World War I Germany where they're wheelbarrowing a loaf of bread.

Yeah, we're fucked. We talk about that a lot. We're like, what if China just wants their money back? I'll tell you what they're doing. We wake up one day and they're just like, we're like what if china just wants their money back i'll tell you what they're doing what if we wake up one day and they're just like we're taking it back i mean they they effectively are they're selling off their u.s debt and and and they china as well as all of the big central banks of around the world are buying gold because when when the U.S. dollar turns into complete fucking worthless bullshit...

But even gold is a fucking made-up thing, too. Not really, man. Gold has been... But only because it's agreed upon. Understood. But for thousands of years, it has been undeniable. And I'm not even saying that as an opinion.

I'm just pointing to the fact that China, like all these central governments, are just buying up gold. That's why the price of gold has maintained – it's pretty crazy. I mean the minute we untethered from the gold standard. It's like you just started making up the rules. Yeah, I mean, dude, it's fucked. It's like the whole debt situation, the whole world, it's just fucked. But do you think that's going to trickle down to like,

I have two kids, right? So you're saying you don't want to have kids. And you think the debt situation will like directly impact their life? Yes. In a way that's like it's not worth living. I understand that. I'm not going to say not worth living.

Buying a house, having a job, earning enough money to live is just going to be too hard. I had a conversation with my longest friend. We've known each other since we were nine years old. His name's Abdullah. We graduated together from the American school in London. You know, all fears of high school, I was in London. And Abdullah went to Brown University, graduated with a 4.0, went to Cornell Medical School from there, and then went on to become a pediatric surgeon at the Mayo Clinic, where he invented ways of operating on unborn babies in the womb, like fixing them so that they could be...

He's the most incredible dude ever. And as kids, I would pray with him to to mecca and stuff very like muslim and obviously our paths went very differently but we stayed in touch and we got together at one point in i think it was uh like 2012 something like that and i said to abdul i was like man same thing our parents like you know university diploma men all this great stuff for its dwindling opportunity i don't have it on my conscience i don't want it on my conscience to create a person abdullah says to me in africa with the famine the poverty the disease do you think people are any less happy? And my gut instinct is like, well, yeah.

Yeah, a lot happy. And Abdullah genuinely believes, he would even state it as a fact, that that is not the case, that happiness is not something which is determined by quality of life. And I get it. What he's saying is that you can strip somebody of everything,

but you cannot strip somebody of their capacity to love another. And it's in the capacity to love another which we really derive true happiness. So I get it but I still got the vasectomy and I'm sure this is the last conversation anybody expected to get from Steve but to answer your question about is it going to affect your kids

I think that it's never possible to predict the timing of an event but given the fundamental facts of the debt of you know all the rest of it i think that we can state with a fact and we can state it as a fact that shit's going to change. I think particularly for America now that China, Russia, you name it, the world is conspiring to get off the fucking dollar as the reserve currency. I mean, it's not going anywhere. The dollar will be the reserve currency for the whole world for the foreseeable future. But for the entirety of your kid's life, I don't know.

And once we get off that fucking – Once the dollar is not calling the shots anymore, then we're just straight up Roman Empire over here. And it already feels like – It already feels kind of like Roman Empire-y. Right, right. It's not as good as it was, and it's just like... I mean, it's really gnarly.

If not us, our kids are the first generation, which doesn't stand a chance of doing as well as America. Since the founding fathers, since America was born as a country, every generation did better than their parents. Upward trajectory for every generation until us or our kids. And now it's just like, you know, and whatever. I should have had kids.

I'm going to say John's going to leave right now. But there are a lot of people who are going to say that the biggest problem is depopulation because the baby boomers was the the biggest generation you got more baby boomers than any other generation which means that right now is a particular time of crisis because that the working age people who are generating tax revenue is the smallest number and the retired people with the most health problems and the biggest drain on social security like medicare like all of the most expensive people who are not even fucking paying taxes they're just a suck on the system are all these fucking baby boomer you know like 70 80

year old people and and that's what's happening like all over the world is that that the the consensus general like demographics it's it's more old people who are drained and less young people who are earning money and so that's a problem that's going to continue and continue and it's like all right like we can't support this shit amen brother i mean and whatever like and and and at the same time too like like i i put it but last time i saw you guys i was promoting uh my second book you know my second book it was called a hard kick in the nuts and in that book you know i paint this picture of why i don't want to have kids, and I really shit on having kids. My publicist was like, hey, I want you to know I strongly disagree.

I strongly disagree. I don't think it's a good look the way you're shitting on having kids. I think that it's going to bum people out, and I don't think it's true. That's his opinion. I urge you to talk to my publicist. All right. You got to go. So I appreciate it.

Yeah, dude. That was great, man. Dude, I love it. The bucket list is the most fucked up thing that I've ever made. That's crazy. I thought you would have topped yourself, like, years and years ago. The fact that you keep one-upping it. And really, for our generation, you guys are some of the most beloved people, and you stand out above the rest with everything you're doing. Well, thanks, man.

I showed you guys the four-inch needle going in my spine. I didn't even tell you about the part where I blow a load simultaneously while I'm falling out of an airplane. That's a great way to end. That's how it goes. It's at steveo.com. Check out the bucket list. And thank you guys so much. Thank you very much, Steve. សូវាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប� Thank you. Bye.