KFC Radio - Surviving Barstool Episode 1 Recap Ft. Paul Walter Hauser

Episode Date: December 5, 2024

Timecodes: 0:00 Start 05:32 Surviving Barstool Episode 1 Recap 22:05 Biz has uncovered a ring of gypsies 30:53 Feits and Jackie did the Mook Can't Sleep stream 35:54 Rone's having twins 39:58 United Healthcare CEO got shot 43:37 Jaguar is catching heat 45:42 Spotify wrapped 48:13 Beyonce named Billboard's #1 Pop Star over Taylor Swift 57:10 Sabrina Carpenter and Barry Keogan Split 01:07:38 Kendrick Lamar wouldn't be blowing up if people didn't hate Drake the way they do 01:16:51 Video Voicemails 01:34:14 Paul Walter Hauser Interview Links: 32:46 Grape lady: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=STbhaqsBJB0 +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Presented by Jackpocket: New customers, use code KFC and you’ll get your first ticket free at https://jackpocket.onelink.me/sY17/KFC GAMBLING PROBLEM? CALL 1-800-GAMBLER, NY Call 877-8-HOPENY or text HOPENY. 18 or older (19+ in Nebraska, 21+ in Arizona). Void where prohibited. Promo code required for $2 non-withdrawable credit. Prize amount may differ at time of drawing. Terms jackpocket.com/tos/free-ticket-promo/ Tommy John: Go to https://tommyjohn.com/KFC for 30% off your first order Aura Frames: Exclusive $35-off Carver Mat at https://AuraFrames.com. Use code KFC at checkout to save! SimpliSafe: Head to https://SIMPLISAFE.com/kfcradio for 50% off any new system with a select professional monitoring plan. Express: Find all you need this holiday season at https://www.express.com Pepper Palace: Save 20% on your next order by using code KFC at https://pepperpalace.comYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. I mean, we've had conversations with Spade and Sandler and Tim Meadows and those guys. Yeah. And I think part of them is they're not thrilled about it because they're a little concerned about, like, is this going to be a sob fest or is this a celebration of Chris? But what I think got people on board now, including the family is that we are trying to reintroduce Chris to a whole

new era of people. And we are trying to celebrate him in a victory lap of like, it's not just this dead comedian. It's this, this light that burned out too quickly jack pocket america's number one lottery app jack bucket all you got to do is download jack pocket on your phone uh and i I keep showing you how easy it is. Let's see where we're at.

Because we had 500 million Mega Millions and 200 million Powerball. Let's see. Powerball is up to 240. Mega Millions, 579. So we keep on going. I want my dream. I love this shit. I am obsessed with when they change the lottery rules to make these mega, mega, mega lottery jackpots.

I love it. It's just crazy to me. It's just like, boom, someone becomes a hundred millionaire. It's fucking nuts. My dream is to have dueling $1 billion jackpots. A mega million billions and a Powerball billion. And they both hit the same night, and we have two billionaires, like, out of nowhere. They just have to change lists across the world because some jamoke bought a $2 ticket on Jack Pocket.

And right now you can get a ticket for free when you use promo code KFC. All you got to do is let's do. As always, we're going to order. I'm going to go $2 quick pick. Place order. Confirm. Done. Still haven't won.

It's very easy to do it. Apparently it's hard to win. Yeah. And that's really the key is not just playing the lottery, is winning the lottery. You got to keep going at it. And I stink at that. I am top notch one of the worst lottery losers,

one of the best lottery losers in the world. Over $540 million in prizes have been paid out to Jack Pocket users. You could be one of them. Download. Use promo code kfc get your free ticket today could be for the mega millions the power ball whatever you want jack pocket america's number one lottery app and the official partner of barcelo sports gambling problem call 1-800 gambler new york call 877-8-HOPE-NY or text hope ny 18 or older 19 plus in in Nebraska, 21 plus in Arizona. Void where prohibited. Promo code required for $2 non-withdrawable credit.

Prize amount may differ at time of drawings. Terms jackpocket.com slash TOS slash free dash ticket dash promo slash. Oh my God. I didn't realize you said 11 slash 1130. We were just saying how much I fucked that up. I should have just picked one or the other. I just assumed 11.30. Are we recording right now?

We are recording right now. That's actually the smart assumption. Assuming 11.30. Because I actually was going to do this on Monday's show. I was going to go, hey, what time do we record the show? 11.30. There it is. Is it? Every night it's either you or you are always text.

No, I never say that. Are we going to 11.30 tomorrow? We go 11.30 every day. 11.30? Every day. I never say that because I always secretly hope it's earlier, but now I actually don't hope it's earlier. Well, but here's what I do. Right now,

11.30 is, when we have a guest, I don't like to record and then have, like, a gap where we do nothing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? So, but yeah, we should probably just. Well, it's not even like, it's just what we do. It's like, we do it 1130 every single time. That's not true. I need confirmation. It's like being in a text on, like, Sunday, like sunday like hey we're gonna record it all tomorrow yeah well yeah we record on mondays and wednesdays i don't know there's

always there's more yeah no i was i was surprised to get the text from you last night because i don't think you've ever done it before this operation, dude. It's always so funny. I'm always like, 9 or 10 o'clock before a recording day, I'm always like, we're about to get a text. 11.30 tomorrow? Yeah. That's what time we do the show. Every fucking week.

How about Jackie's response last night? What did you say? I didn't even see. Si, senor. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That was crazy. That was crazy. That was weird.

I was on my couch trying to figure out how you said it and I was laughing at myself while I kept going si senor or that was

that's the cartoonish version or si senor yeah yeah like something like a gruff like Spanish man would say

that was how I said it oh man I don't understand what it is. I don't think that you can. I think you got to pull. It doesn't really matter. I think that one snapped. It feels like it's magnetic.

You're like fucking Chris Farley at the meeting, just like breaking things. It's like a pull snap thingy. No? No, it's like a twist. I honestly don't know what it'll be. No, you don't. No, you don't.

No, you don't. No, you don't. To be fair also, though, you are always off to Italy. Yeah, right? You got out of order. I feel like I'm always wondering. But we do it at 1130 every time. Yeah, we all do other things, but we do this at 1130. No, okay.

Next time I get to do anything next recording, you're going to be like, wait, can we do it earlier? That's a fair text. If it's like, hey, can we do 10 tomorrow? But of course, that's a different time than we usually do. We usually do 1130. Alright, well, it's another edition

of KFC Radio at 1130 on a Monday morning. Surviving Barstool kicked off last night. A couple things. First of all, I don't know about you. I've been getting asked a lot why we were not on it, and we were just not invited. It's being posed to me like, why didn't KFC go? He doesn't do anything.

It's like, I would have been there if I didn't. So I just want that out there. I don't know if you're getting that, but I get a lot of like. I don't know, but we were invited. Yeah. But I also like, I don't. We did it. Like, you don't have the.

Yeah. But it's just a lot of repeats and we weren't in it. I think this ended up being weird where like, I think the original cast was almost entirely different except Dave and Dan and Will, the winner. And then so many people dropped out that they ended up pulling people back in. But so. Yeah, we weren't. I would have been there.

We're not there. I also saw a clip. This is back when I think they were talking about cast members. I saw a clip of Dave on a name show, and they were like, how are you picking people or whatever? And he was like, we want new people or we want crazy people. And he specifically said, he was like, John and Kevin just aren't crazy. And I was like, that's worth

$250,000. $125,000. Dave thinks I'm sane and reasonable? Perfect. That's a good point. But I don't know. I've somehow got like this after the Chicago Combine where all of a sudden people are like, you don't do anything anymore.

You don't say yes to anything. It's like I've done every fucking thing at Barstool Board. 15 got things that I fucking hated. I did all the fucking time. So somehow it became this, you know, why aren't you there? You should be there. You don't do anything. I'm like, it would have been fun. I wouldn't do anything. Like, it would have been fun.

I wouldn't have won, but, like, it would have been fun. Well, part of it also, I mean, A, coming out of that, I was like, I never want to do that again, you know? So I'm okay with, you know what I mean? And just from what I think we know we're going to see, I'm happy that was another part of it. I don't know what I would have done this time because I can't run my same game back.

So my thing is, I don't think we ever would get as close as we... I think that was our best craft. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I think we came very close. It's like, what do you want to go do it again for if you know it's going to be lesser than

every other time you ever do it? Maybe down the road if it happens again and there's been years in between. But it's like, we were right there to the final. If you were like 18th this time, I'd be like, that sucked. Well, that's funny. Watching the

last night, I saw Caleb. I was like, there's funny. Watching the last night, I saw Caleb. I was like, there's a world in which, like, the way I played Survivor the first time, there's a world in which that happened to me. Yeah, where you just got the boot, right? I was just like, I wasn't as, like, I don't think as, like, my goal was don't fucking do anything. Caleb was, like, laughing about, about, I don't care about this. I was like, just be quiet.

Caleb is also hard to read. So I think everyone was like, you're just like, yeah, I'll do whatever you say. Caleb's like, maybe I'll do what you say. I don't know. Nobody really knows what he's doing. My strategy was be useful. Caleb's was be a cog in the wheel. He was actively trying.

Everything he did, I was like, why would you do that? I mean, he was like his Sunday conversation in a video and a reality show. There were so many really funny... It's actually funny because I obviously don't watch a lot of reality TV and

when it started, I was like, this fucking sucks. It was like 15 minutes of introductions. And obviously that's boring to me because I fucking know everybody. But there's a million people watching who have never seen anyone, so you have to do those introductions. But I was like, oh, my God, get to the fucking – I was just home alone like, this is nuts.

And then I started to understand storytelling and all that stuff and uh and then once it once it really got going i was like oh this is fucking really good but and there were like a lot of clips that made me laugh out loud but one of them was caleb talking about his alliances because he he was just like i got an alliance with white socks dave and arian and i got a white sock i got an alliance with ria i got an alliance with he's like he's like counting off his life i think i think dave's the only person i don't have an alliance with they were they were it was so well honestly everybody you have an alliance with nobody really right like honestly a really – it's not interesting. Well, it is interesting.

A cool part of it is like the stories unfolding. Again, it's something to me that I obviously know and don't really think about often. But it's so crazy when you're going to confessionals and it's like biz being like, yeah, I'm pretty good with a stick. I played in the NHL for 10 years. And then it cuts to fucking Jerry. I would have liked it less if it was fast cuts. This is always over the hour and a half. But then later, Jerry's like, I'm pretty good at picking whacks. I was a crack addict.

And then 10 minutes later, they're yelling at Wallow. Wallow's in jail for 20 years. I have the biggest contract in NFL lineman history. The collection of people is crazy. It is crazy. That's the appeal of Barstool, but this is like a condensed, hyperized version of it all. The shot of Gilly after he said that

where it's just like a bunch of smoke in the thing. That was my favorite part of the line. I've been blowing gas. It's just him rolling on the ground going, while I was in jail! Will's like, he didn't in jail! Those two were great. I love when he was like, I guess I should have seen it come out.

He was like, my connection with my cousin means absolutely nothing. It means everything to me. We are thick as thieves. I don't give a fuck about it. That's great. Wallow and Gilly Very often

That's the joke they make Is that Wallow was in jail He'll fuck a guy And And very often Every time Dude I will

Cackle with laughter Like every Like yeah It's like Evan Costello Just like throwing Like a fastball And he's just like

while I was in jail watch out he'll fuck you Robbie shut up Gilly shut up Gilly don't sleep on your stomach don't sleep on your stomach and I'm on my couch

like this is fucking brilliant so I mean two things that that I thought was was funny you know when if you're playing Survivor and you say something,

what was the exact quote from Smitty? It's so unspoken. It was like, it's so unspoken, I think we've literally not spoken it. It was something like that about why they were voting. There was two moments that I knew Smitty was fucked. First of all, when everyone else's light bulb went off, they were like, there's eight people and seven beds. And everybody was like, oh, shit.

Somebody's going home before even the first night. And Smitty was like, I'll sleep on the floor. I'll sleep on the chair. I'm good, man. No, you fucking. That's not what's happening here. They need to fucking forget a bed, dude. Imagine that. They're like,'re like oh shit production fucked up i really don't know anything about this season because i don't

want to spoil anything and like so i didn't know that that smitty got voted off last night and i was like oh because i was so confident i believed him he says it throughout the whole episode he's like mincy's a sacrificial lamb blah blah and i was like yeah that makes sense and then he was not he was not so what else was like oh you poor son of a bitch i mean after everything that unfolded too it's a tough one it's like okay yeah yeah it's like we're we're you know it's like time travel we're watching this all in reverse now uh the other thing was nikki smokes's tweet which was pretty it's pretty uh pretty direct being like it makes me he said something like it makes me sick like i want to puke that mince was the uh the replacement for brie and, you know, intimating that,

um, yeah, I know he, you know, he qualified it. I know my place at the company. I know how little I moved the needle compared to the rest of the surviving Barstool cast,

but, uh, me being cut and seeing Mincy as Brie's replacement is actually a joke. Didn't have to be me. Uh, I could name five other employees who would have changed the, changed the game. Um,

that's going to be a thing. I don't know that I could have named five. I could, I don't know. who would have changed the game. That's going to be a thing. I don't know that I could have named five. I don't know who would have changed the game. I don't think Mincy should have been in it. I think we should obviously stop rewarding Mincy for his. It's what we talked about yesterday, though. Surviving Barstow is a weird thing. It's like, are you really playing to win,

and are we putting out a challenge or are we making content it's some weird hybrid that i would say is like 70 real 30 content yeah right maybe a little more i would i would yeah i think i think the formula is different for everybody my formula i would say is probably more what do you mean like you personally going into it? Yeah. I'm saying on the whole though, like it's not a joke. We're competing.

We're trying. It's real. But there is some level of like, we should keep the funny guy. We should do this. Yeah. It's never like manipulated. I don't want that.

That's not what I'm saying, but I'm saying like there is an element of like, I don't know. I, I don't think during when we were playing, I don't think I ever didn't vote someone or vote someone content-based. That was real. That was one thing real the whole time. Correct.

But I can also see the logic or thought behind, like, is this guy a better competitor? And does he care more? Or it's going to be hilarious when Mincy fucking doesn't know how to write with a pen you know what i mean yeah yeah in terms of casting you know the casting voting booth casting yeah like the game itself is is very real but the overall production of like who's in it and the games we play and some of the stuff is going to be geared towards like let's make put this person in a compromising position you know what i mean so like in that sense like smokes is a young dude he's he's pretty athletic he probably you know he needs the money he would go balls to the wall you just don't look as funny as mincy crammed into

a size small t-shirt you know like and that's not fair that's not fair but it's like you know dems the brakes it's like it's it's almost like comedy in general, too. It's like, I don't know, like, it's funny to, he looks funny, and he sounds funny, he has a funny voice, and everything about him is funny. And you could be over here. I just say my vote here? Like, you could write a million jokes and

bust your ass to be as funny as you could possibly be. And it's not as funny as Mincy just walking in a room like, right? Like, that's just all he has to do. My shirt's not as funny as Mincy just walking in a room like... Right? That's just all he has to do. My shirt's too small. My voice is funny. And I don't know even like...

I don't know anything about the world. I don't know anything. Should I just say my vote out loud? No. Bro, no. You cannot get that anywhere else. I told Mincy about it on November 5th. Was that?

Trump! Walked out. That's how Mincy voted on November 5th. Was that? Trump! Walked out. He's Michael Scott. Walked out, smoked a cigarette. He's like, I got that one. He's, I declared bankruptcy in a real life human, you know? So I get what he's saying. And, you know, there are five other employees that fit the other version of surviving contestants.

But Mincy is like one of a kind kind now it's for better or worse like it's unfair it's worse we're rewarding like this ridiculous you know we did that last episode but i totally get it you know what i mean i like if you said to dave like do you want for almost any content that's like you know do you want like a normal like straight guy who like you know smokes is funny but he's just like i gamble and i you know all that shit versus like this caricature of a human i think it's gonna be the cartoon character every fucking time yeah so it sucks for you know the people who are probably right if you if you're on the list right beneath mincey where you would have gotten the nod i get it it sucks but it's also like bro that's gonna

happen every time i don't know but you gotta figure out a way around it because mincy ain't going anywhere apparently i don't know the but i also like again while i agree with smokes's overall point like we should stop rewarding ineptitude i don't know five other people who would like change the game yeah well there's also because there's like not many left there's a thousand people in season when i saw that picture it was row after row after row of employees it was like the whole fucking i mean look at that there's not five people left it's like us four oh, it's four, and that's it. I mean, like, they're, you know, let's see.

The foreplay guys have not done it yet, right? No foreplay. I think Riggs would be a maniac. Riggs would be. Riggs would be good and crazy. He would obviously be pretty good. But he did it before. Yeah, but he took it seriously. Yeah, yeah, okay, okay.

I think some people are upset at Brandon Walker. I've seen some chatter that B. Walker got snubbed. Brandon Walker, I would like to see it. You know what I really, really, really like about Brandon Walker? Nothing. But if I had to pick something about him, he tries hard at everything. Like, he does not mail in a single fucking thing. He's also very like he

we actually i think we're gonna have paul walter hauser on this interview today and i mentioned to him like a lot of people who i find most entertaining are people who grew up wrestling yep and like that's brain i mean he yes he he he brings the wrestling uh vibe to it. But he also, like, he just knew when he got the nod that it was, like, a life-altering opportunity and, like, ran with it. Actually, I can't say. Maybe he's mail-in these days. I don't know. But I know in the beginning he was really fucking going after it. He would take surviving very, very seriously.

Yeah, for sure. Arguably too seriously. Yeah, yeah. yeah so so that and he is too seriously yeah yeah and and he also like clashes with dave and shit like that to the point that that would have been if those two had to be on the same team or if or if they had to vote each other out if brandon walker led like a charge voting dave out or you know what i mean that so that's maybe one person but i don't know about five you're right i just it's pretty much about pat pat pat probably would be an interesting uh member pat's done a lot of the other ones, too.

Yeah. But, yeah, that's the bomb squad right there. Business pictures, unbelievable. Tommy John. Hands down, the most comfortable lounge pants that I have and underwear that I have. Yes. And I'll tell you what, when I'm wearing the lounge pants, sometimes I don't put the underwear on. It's really comfortable.

They got the breathable, stretchable fabric. The boxers are like the only – a lot of the high-end boxers that don't have the fly is crazy. Yeah. And Tommy John was like, we're going to give you the soft material. It's going to be the comfortable waistband. It's going to be all high-end. And then you get a fly. It's like perfect.

So this holiday season perfect for stocking stuffers it's perfect for the guy that you don't know what to get uh it's a much appreciated gift anytime you get it uh you get you know comfortable underwear you get some lounge pants you get things that it's like that stuff that i'm never gonna buy and bam christmas rolls around and i have a whole bunch for myself they have 20 million pairs of underwear sold. That's crazy. That's a lot of fucking underwear, man. That's 40 million balls.

That's a lot. That's a lot. Thousands of five-star reviews, and it's a great gift-giving holiday tradition. So great days begin with great underwear. That's a great tagline, man. When you are down to your last underwear and it's a bad day, they don't fit or they're old or whatever, you're like, nope, this is going to suck. I know the underwear I have. Yep.

Tommy John. When I put it on, I'm like, this is not. I'll be honest. I'm not overselling. I'm not like, this is going to be a great day. But for that moment in time, I'm like, this is a good start. It won't be a bad day with Tommy John. Yeah. I can guarantee that. So go to tommyjohn.com slash kfc for the holidays

get 30 off site wide shout out to them for going 30 that's a good that's a good sale tommyjohn.com slash kfc so we didn't really talk about the fact that biz has uncovered like this illegal ring of gypsies yeah uh and and the guy uh whistlebl the guy, Whistleblower from CA, Whistleblower from California, the Twitter account. So the guys that Biz fought, I should just say beat up. I don't even know if they got any in on it. I guess it took some game more. I will say this.

I don't think we spoke about this at all. It was a much more badass story before the mug shots came out i thought it was i thought it was like young college guys like athletes who were drunk i mean he beat up a bunch of like senior citizens i probably could take these days i i mean no and i also six on one is still six on one i'm also very much kidding because the video that got released, the one of them hitting. From the golf club. From the golf club where he's swinging on chicks. Yeah, that was crazy.

Dude, arguably the toughest thing you can do is swing on chicks in public. If I see someone swinging on chicks, I'm like, that dude is a fucking maniac. Give a fuck. Well, that's what these guys are. These people are like absolute pieces of shit, dude. The Irish travelers. They're legit like a gypsy cult that they just make a living scamming people from – I mean, like this is crazy.

Just be throwing like full punches while girls are right there is fucking nuts, man. Punching guys? Oh, God. This guy's nuts. So, yeah. Actually, I, you know, despite the fact that some of those other guys were old men. You ought to have a fucking screw loose. For sure.

These guys, though, are, like, their main scam is they just, like, hire, you get hired for them to do your, you hire them to do their, your driveway. And they just do a shitty job and run away with your money. Yeah, yeah. That's, like, their main scam is people give them, like, nine grand and then they just, like, roll out some tar and they just bounce. But there was also um they also take out like insurance policies on old people and kill them really like there was one story about like a old woman who like they you know got a policy out on her and then were like trying to like hire someone to murder her and then there's uh just like regular you know shitty stuff like

the one of the one of these guys wives like, there's a video of her just wailing on her kid. And then wearing a fucking t-shirt with a screenshot of the video of her beating her kid. Really? There's a picture of her like proudly like wearing it. That's another thing. Crazy. I don't want to fucking tussle with you. Right. Well, that's another thing we're like crazy you're like i don't want to fucking tussle with you right well that's the thing this this guy the whistleblower i don't know i don't know what what his deal is uh he either has been wronged by the irish

travelers or just is like a fucking righteous dude who like wants to do right in the world yeah he is like like i almost i was gonna make a video about it and i was like i don't think i want smoke with the irish travelers i just don't want to get into like legally what i can and can't say and i don't need these guys like in my dms yeah they're like going after him they're trying to get his account suspended they're they're like closing ranks because they are like being exposed as this family an extended family of like shitty gypsy criminal scumbags so So not only did Biz, obviously, just like, you know, you save the restaurant managers and shit, but like might have exposed this cult ring of criminals in like upstate New York or some shit.

Did you see the clip of him in Marchand before the game? Yeah. So good. So good. I mean, that's what Biz, like Biz is invaluable to the NFL, to NHL. I hope he's getting a fucking bag from them. It's all relative because a bag from them is probably like 75 grand. But he is bringing that kind of stuff.

That is a game changer because those moments go viral. And the players love it. I said it when he first got a TNT job. I can see a world in which in 20 years we're talking about how Paul Bissonnette is, like, one of the most important things that happens to the NHL. Yeah. Now, I do think the NHL has the biggest problem in the history of the world, which is just the fact that the highlights do not translate to vertical video,

and you can't get over that. Like, the highlights do not work on vertical. Really? Because it's just, like, you can't see the – You can't see. There's too much horizontal movement, and it just doesn't – Wow. I never thought about that.

That's a very specific thing. I've noticed it now for a few years, and I'm like, this is going to be a problem. And they can't, like, zoom in? Because you would think basketball is kind of the same, no? Yeah, but I guess basketball, once the ball at least leaves your hand, it's easier to follow. Yeah. You can't follow the puck once it's shot anyway. Yeah, that I guess basketball, once the ball at least leaves your hand, it's easier to follow. Yeah. You can't follow the puck once it's shot anyway.

Yeah, that's tough. When you're watching a hockey game, there is always three angles they show. And one is you never see the puck. But that's the close-up. Right. And you can't get that. Like, even last night with the Bruins game, Zadarov had just, like, a fucking missile shot.

And I wanted to show it and be like, oh, this is what Zadarov's good at you can't do it you can't you can't see it it's not yeah it's gonna be a problem i don't know we'll see if biz can overcome that one you can take on the gypsies maybe you can take on vertical videos too we'll see um so uh um what else? I mean, I guess we'll keep it with Barstool and then do the rest of this shit. Yeah. One thing from surviving. Dave at the end.

It sounds so funny, but also because I think I align 100% with Dave on this. I'm like, there is something to it. When he thought he might be going home. So he's looking for an idol. so he's he's looking for an idol and he's like kind of looking and he's kind of just like moving stuff and he's like i'm just not a looker i'm not a looker i'm not i'm not good at looking i wasn't born to look and like it is such a thing where it's just like well just look and then you're a good looker and like no it's not i can't i can't also said he was a good looker and then he found two. Yeah.

So it's like maybe they are good lookers. I think – no. Well, there is – yeah. Yeah. No, I think there's good lookers and bad lookers. Yeah. For sure. I look for literally zero seconds on our season. I didn't look at anything more.

But also there's something – like there's a – there's also like a physical – like there's a reason why you can open up the fridge and be like, we don't have any fucking milk. And then like your mom will be like, it's right there. Yeah. Right. Right. Right. Like there's, I used to call it like refrigerator vision.

Cause it's right in front of my face. It happens to me all the time with just everything. Where's my, I can't find my wallet. I really think my, my brain like puts a different fucking picture in front of my face. You know what I mean? It's like, I swear to God, I looked there and it wasn't fucking there. So I think there's something to be said for that. But I mean, yeah, if you say you're a good looker, then you go find two.

I mean, you're a fucking great looker. You're a great looker. Also, Rico, if you're going to do the fake idols, you have to actually put an idol so that they think that they have an idol. A clue that leads to nothing means absolutely nothing. And it just makes people suspicious about you. But then he goes, I just want to be an agent of chaos. I cannot stop watching him blink now.

All the time. I still haven't noticed it. All the time. Not as extreme as that one clip, but he's always just like, I want to be an agent of chaos. There's a lot of agent of chaos, but I want to be an agent of chaos. Oh my god, your eyeballs have got to be dying. The clip where he was like, I'm not taking my meds. And then it shows his highlight reel and it cuts back to him going,

I'm gonna take my meds. It's so funny. There's so many such funny moments. They're great at it, man. I do not understand. Here's a question. Do you think that there's hours and hours and hours of footage that they just don't look at, or do you think they go through it all?

As an editor yourself, it just seems impossible to me, hours and hours of footage that they just don't look at? Or do you think they go through it all? As an editor yourself, it just seems impossible to me. 24 people, 24 hours, cameramen everywhere, and then you've got to sit down and make a video. That is crazy to me. I would be like, this is good enough. There's

36 more hours that we didn't look at? Whatever. I think there's a lot of footage that's definitely been on scene, but I know that there's definitely people taking notes. Yeah, so you don't think they missed anything. They mark it on the camera where it's like,

that moment happened, that moment happened. Okay. Because to me, it's like, there's no possible way you go all through that, but what if you miss the funniest moment?

But I guess if you have someone always ready to be like, here it is, here it is, here it is. Yeah, I guess they have a system for this. Yeah. Makes sense. Makes sense.

I can't help but notice that you didn't ask me as an editor. Just wanted to say. You go through the whole thing. I know you do. Yeah. Because you complain about it incessantly. Yeah, yeah. But, like, me getting up the video yesterday, I mean, like, I couldn't even, like, see.

I was, like, so drunk. Dude, the, I was, so we did Boot Can't Sleep Monday night. Yeah. And I didn't realize, because you didn't drink a lot. At least it didn't seem like it. Yeah. And then, but then we did it from, like, 10 p.m. to, like, 2 a.m. I don't remember anything class when Bree got there.

Was it bad? Was it bad? Bree we did it from like 10 p.m. I don't remember anything last when Brie got there. Was it bad? Was it bad? Brie got there probably like. One. One. No, it wasn't bad. All I noticed was your laugh. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

The dragon laugh thing. Remember when I did this last time and I turned it off because we recorded 1130? Oh, God. The, the, no, it was the dragon laugh. the uh the um no it was the dragon left you you like you're like it's a little cuter than that it sounds like someone it sounds like someone has hit you in the throat yeah yeah wait i didn't notice know that when that when you did the sound of the black hole.

That is you. That actually was me edited to the. Yes. Oh. I was like, that sounds a lot like me. Yeah, it was like, it said NASA has figured out what the inside of a black hole might sound like. And I pressed play and it was just kind of like a – almost like a sonogram. I was like, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah.

I was like, that's not good enough. And then I just put it in there. You sound like Grape Lady. You know that viral video? Yeah. I was going to say a donkey who got the wind knocked out of it. But like Grape Lady is basically the same thing. This is one of the very first viral videos, the woman stomping grapes.

You don't know this? Pull up Grape Lady. Grape Lady is... I don't know if it'll resonate with the younger generation. No. Because it's so much content. This was the funniest thing in the world for like 10 years. This is what you sound like. Just so you know.

This Saturday, you stop music, eating international foods, having wine tours and tasting, in-ear tours, seminars, arts and crafts. It's a lot of fun, a whole day. Stop. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Hey, I can't do that. I don't know. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

That's your laugh. That's your laugh. That's your cute laugh. But when we laughed I left at 2 and Jackie was like I gotta go edit the podcast now and I was like I had heard that laughter

for a little bit and I was like that podcast is not getting up in the morning I hope I didn't say anything in that one but I woke up next morning and it was already up

so we fucking crushed that gangster yeah that mook stream is a problem, man. That's dangerous. It was very, very fun. It was so fun, yeah.

It's dangerous, though. Mook, we're doing shows together in Austin, December 14th. Get tickets. We just announced it today. It's in two weeks. But go with Nick Tarani, Chris Bader, me bader me mook are gonna do some shows um it'll be fun look at the boy down in fucking austin texas doing comedy holy shit

oh my god call me joe the uh i literally think vitalberg would turn down jo Joe Rogan I think he would say no I'd be like what do you want to talk about I don't want to We're going to talk for three hours right now Are you going to fucking simulation me Simulation me But yeah

Moog can't sleep Moog's my new favorite He went Peyton Peyton bullying him Oh my Dude Peyton

It has I mean He's put She's put that kid In his back pocket For like years now She was like Shut up bitch

This is my show Like to the point Where Moop was like That was the nicest thing She said I think Brianna was like She just doesn't Because you have a crush

And she's like No I want to be very clear She's like I think heanna was like, she just doesn't go, you have a crush. And she's like, no, I want to be very clear. She's like, I think he's a weak man. She said he has a ginger box. Oh,

you think he's a vagina? A box. Yo. Yeah, she scares me. She's one not to fuck with. You're getting on the wrong side of Peyton. When did that start? Why did that start?

Because of the takedown. Why did she take him down? No, the takedown was second. The coffee was first. The coffee, yeah. Remember what we talked about on the show? He was walking to... He was walking...

They'd never met. He was walking in with a coffee. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And she kept showing him a gay little coffee with whipped cream and a straw. And then she's like... And they was walking by each other on the street, and she laughed out loud at him.

Did she know who he was at that point? Yeah, she knew he worked with me. She's like, what the fuck was that? She's like, you're just a weak little man. The takedown was unbelievable. The takedown was nuts. It was like a wrestling fucking clothesline, like jump on him. It was like a wrestling fucking clothesline. Like, jump on him. It was unbelievable.

And then to round out the rest of the Barstool universe, Roan's having twins. Twin boys. And I've known about it for months and kept it a secret. I've known about it for two weeks and kept it a secret. But Roan didn't even tell me. Roan doesn't even know I knew. How'd you know?

Because I'm old. We were out at Omikase two months ago. No, she wasn't even there. But they had gotten back from Japan recently. And Roman was like, I don't know why I didn't get Omikase in Japan. I was like, you didn't get Omikase in Japan?

What the fuck's wrong with you? It's like sushi, but you sit at a bar and it's like one at a time kind of deal and he's like yeah Allison wasn't eating shellfish at the time and I went

pregnant I didn't make a big deal on it we just kept it moving but I was like pregnant it's kind of like a woman sense

of like figuring out I'm surprised you would I did this with a few of my friends when when Shay was first coming along.

And, like, nobody, none of the moron friends I had noticed that Kayla wasn't drinking. And we were drinkers. I was like, how the fuck did none of you notice this? Like, every single, you want to drink? No. Like, that right there should have been like, she's pregnant. I'm used to that, though. Like, honestly, I think drinking I wouldn't catch. Because I'd be like, fucking there should have been like, she's pregnant. I'm used to that, though. Honestly, I think drinking I wouldn't catch.

Because I'd be like, fucking chicks can't drink. But I was like, a woman didn't eat sushi? She must be pregnant. Twins is crazy, man. Twins is... The good thing is when you have twins first, you know nothing else. Yeah, right. You go from zero to kids, whether it's one kid or two kids.

You go from no kids to kids. If you have a kid, if you're one and then you have twins, I would probably put a bullet in your head. There is no way you can be like, I'm going to have to do that again, but twice as hard. That's like, hey, you got to go back to war, except this time just double the enemies and less the guns. This is impossible. That was World War II. You got to go back to war, only this time it's Hitler.

Yes, having twins is like World War II. Like the World War I vets going, we got to go do it again. What did we do the first one for? That is crazy. You got way worse dude imagine calling it the war to end all wars and then like 17 years later we didn't even last

fucking at all we had another one right away in the grand scheme of things right a fucking way I kind of feel like it's like a two like I guess I'm a woman so like my body being pregnant for nine months versus 18. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. That, that part's good. That part is good. Especially if you can get a real lucky and you have fraternal twins, you have a boy and a girl. Yeah. It's like,

boom, we're done. But then the rest of it sucks. Yeah. My three best friends, uh, their mom first had twins and then a year and a half later had triplets. Could you imagine?

The only thing crazier than that is, is when twins, then a year and a half later had triplets. Could you imagine? The only thing crazier than that is when twins and triplets. Five kids in a year and a half. That is nuts. That is crazy. The only thing crazier than that is Charlie Wisco, old school KC Radio producer. His parents had four kids and they wanted like one more and they i think i think they got triplets twins or triplets but either it went from four to six or four to seven dude if you if you said his dad was like like like catatonic just like like you should get government money you really

should if you're trying i don't know how they do it i really don't know how to do it if you have if you're trying for a kid and you accidentally have three kids. They should help. Your government should help you. They'll be like, dude, that's not your fault. The worst thing is triplets. Because if you go four and up, you get on Oprah and shit like that. You go viral. You get like Pampers gives you a fucking free diapers for life. Triplets is just normal enough that it's like, you are fucked.

Fucked. I mean like. Fucked. Yeah, I saved up for a kid. I can afford one kid through college. I have three now.

Did you see that the United Healthcare just got shot in the town today? Although I did find out he's not like the main CEO. That I thought was,

there's like eight other CEOs, which makes a little more sense because I was like, eight CEOs? Yeah, there's like, because it's, I mean, it's such a big company. There's like divisions

on the CEO of this division, the CEO of that division. Like the main, main guy, I don't think is walking like anywhere, ever. Because it's a $500 billion company. It's half a trillion dollars. So I, when I thought, I thought like he was like

the, and I should have known, 50 years old is pretty young for any of this, but I thought that it was like the head of I should have known. 50 years old is pretty young for any of this. But I thought that it was like the head of UnitedHealthcare just got fucking blanked. Now, I mean it's still a very big deal. I don't want to take anything away from it, but it's not the head of the head of the head. But this is some movie shit. What happened there? So he was getting – he was going into the hotel at 6 45 in the morning he got there early to prepare for his his presentation to the annual investors and

so like the guy knew to be there early and he knew the door he was walking in and he had a silencer so that's like somebody i believe i don't i know the other two i don't know for sure about the silencer but i did see that's the big one yeah yeah but i don't know i think like knowing where these guys are at at you know like if he got there early and i'm sure he was just like going through i don't think he was like walking through the front door and some guys just like pow um but it sounds like to me that's i don't know if i'm i mean i'm literally watching the day of the day of the jackal which is like about assassins yeah so maybe a little bit uh dramatic right now but that feels like somebody being like he's gonna be here at this time like

go do it whether it's you know an inside job or whatever but he just fucking boom boom boom and then hopped on a bike gone. They don't have them. They were like, the only thing they had was that he had a cream jacket and a gray backpack. And that was like it. He had a mask on. Otherwise it's like fucking see you later. Aura frames are the perfect holiday gift,

uh, for grandparents, for regular parents, for anybody that, uh, is decorating, wants to put pictures up on their wall. It's the new school way to make sure that you share all your family pictures and you

can have it right there on display for everyone to see. It's a digital picture frame that gets connected to anybody's phone via an app. So if you're taking pictures of your kids, it gets uploaded right to the picture frame. You want to send them to grandma and grandpa, bam, new pictures uploaded right away. It's a sleek looking frame, so it looks classy. And then rather than just having a regular picture in there, you got the digital screen so you can upload unlimited photos and videos. So you can have a little video on loop. You can have a slideshow so that you stay in contact and in touch and still see your family and your loved ones all through the holidays.

You can pre-order a frame online and have it come with pictures already uploaded to it, so you can give it to your mom, your dad, grandparents, whoever, and it already has all the pictures of the kids and everything, the dogs, whatever, already loaded on it, so that way you're not giving just an empty frame to somebody. Download the Aura app, and it's ready to use right out of the box. So it's the perfect gift, and you can get it at auraframes.com and you'll get 35 bucks off their best selling frame, which is the Carver mat frame. So that's auraframes, A-U-R-A, frames.com. Promo code KFC, get 35 bucks off the best selling frame today. This is exclusive to our podcast,

so use that promo code KFC. Get it in time for the holidays. Terms and conditions apply. Jaguar is just fucking Bud Light 2.0-ing themselves right now. Brutal. We'll see you fucking later. This company is cooked, dude. First of all, has Jaguar not been cooked?

I don't know. Yeah, yeah, that's probably true. I think my neighbor when i was a kid at a jaguar that's about it yeah they did this this weird commercial thing that everybody got all upset about and then they're why do people get mad about it what's mad because i still haven't seen it it's woke john but why is it woke um it's very like uh androgynous and non-binary and all that shit and then the the brand strategist the head of the brand strategy got up at like their keynote and like that was like any commercial to me all he

talked about was like gender inclusive bathroom and shit which is like what does this have to do with fucking sports cars man like i don't know it's it seemed like the – whether it's right or wrong or you think it's, like, you know, good for, like, the right thing to do and good for the people and all that shit. It's like this is going to go badly. Yeah. We saw what happens when – Bud Light, I think, is a little different than Jaguar. Like, I don't think a bunch of people being like, I'm not buying a fucking Jaguar because of this. It's like, all right, dude.

Can't afford it. Well, but yeah, that's what I mean, though, is kind of like Bud Light was already like, you know, Bud Light's kind of just like a low-level beer. You know what I mean? Yeah. I feel like that does not appeal to, like, I don't think the rich men of the world. I just don't know what a Jaguar is, you know? If you're trying to get people, if you're a sports car brand, I don't think that's your target. I think most people who have a Jaguar have no idea about any of this.

That's probably true. People who drive Jaguars probably aren't heavy Twitter users. Yeah. Dude, you're fucking driving a Jag? They had that bald chicken in a commercial. What, dude? You never know, though. I mean, everything's so politicized now.

It's like that. Remember that? There's that video that dickhead who bought the Taylor Swift guitar at the auction. Yeah, I broke it It's like what are you fucking? What's going on here? How is your rap just Taylor your number one Taylor number one Taylor was Mark Roberge number one song That gonna be me Song I think there's a chance I Am the number one listener to OMG on the planet Earth.

I think there's a real chance. I was in the top 0.0005%. 0.0005? I don't think it gets lower. I guess there's one, 0.0001, but

the Mets song. Got it. And I was really thinking about it. I don't think even the Clubhouse listens to it as much as I listen to it. Between how much I liked it, how much I was watching the Mets, and then how much my kids liked it, because my kids basically dictate my Spotify rap at this point, I was like, there might be a chance I'm number one on the planet.

You got to assume that it comes from the Mets fan base or the Mets themselves, right? So it's already a pretty small pool. Yeah. And I'm in that. I'm heavy in that. There's a real chance i'm the number one person on the planet um because it was like it wasn't that many but it's only completions you know what i mean the amount of times that i listened to it maybe not fully through way way yeah even reported so what reported was 0.%. I feel like I might be the highest in the world. But Taylor was my number one this year too.

Really? Yep. She's taking over. Did you get the message from her? Yep. Yeah. But I was like... Seems like everyone got that.

This guy's already got a special message for Taylor. Bro, I think if you listen to like Taylor Swift song you got the message just check it just check it I was watching that I was like this is probably

one to a lot of people but oh man maybe I think I was in like the top 34% of listeners and I got that bro see I was top I the top 34% of listeners And I got that bro I was top 3% this year Which is back

34 is getting the message I was thinking maybe That's a little bullshit She was in her little Same video Maybe you got a special one She didn't have tears Top 35% I'll give you kind of a thanks While she's walking into the tunnel in Kansas City Maybe you got a special one? I don't know. She didn't have tears.

Top 35%. I'll give you kind of a thanks. While she's walking into the tunnel in Kansas City, mine is like, I'm taking some time to thank you. You're a top 3% guy. That's pretty good. That would be smart if they did that, to be honest. What do you think about... Well, there goes that dream.

What do you think about her being number two pop pop artists of the century i um i can't say i have a huge reaction to it i think the it's yeah it's i personally i think it's taylor i don't think pretty objectively it's taylor i would agree with that too but like So here's where Billboard fucked themselves. Here's where they lose. But the Century, Beyonce has what, two surprise albums with video? Beyonce arguably brought back music videos in 2007. She has plenty of influence as well.

Yeah, but I'd also say, so here's where – this is Billboard fucked themselves. And Billboard would have got got in like the courtroom movie moment. This would have been the moment where like the whole crowd goes like, oh, fuck. You're screwed. Because they came out with a statement that said Beyonce had a full 25 years. She was around in 2000. Taylor came out in like 06, 07. It's not like she came out in like 2020, 2018.

I'd say even before then. She was probably 05. Right. So there's a couple years where Beyonce was around and she wasn't. Those are big five years. That's big five years. That's Destiny's Child, right? That's fucking all the single, not single ladies. Okay, but then riddle me this. Rihanna is number three.

Rihanna hasn't put out a song in like 12 years. That one's a little surprising. So if you're going to put Rihanna three and not Rihanna hasn't put out a song in like 12 years That one's a little surprising So if you're gonna put Rihanna three And not ding her for the years You can't say that Beyonce beats Taylor Swift Because of a five or six year difference Yeah Pretty quickly Taylor

It's not like Taylor started slow She was right away winning Grammys and shit So it's like okay you have six years on me Tim McGraw's her first song And then I would say the difference between the two over the last, like, ten years and then definitely the last, like, five years outweighs the beginning. I think it's only since Eras is it clearly Taylor, which is two years. I think before that, it's pretty.

I mean, Beyonce was doing probably, like, what, five years ago, six years ago? She was doing an on-the-run tour with her husband, Jay-Z. No, that's longer than that. That's longer. That longer? I think so. I think that's. I would guess that's seven, then.

Let's see. Because they both have been out of the game for, like, a while. Beyonce popping up here and there. Oh, Beyonce was on a massive tour all year. Right, right. But I feel like kind of the 2013 that was 2013 that was longer i thought that's what i'm saying or maybe was it called yeah on the run tour yeah 20 2014 sorry um it's kind of crazy to think, though. Like, I don't think it's –

I look at the numbers now. Like, Jay-Z and Beyonce went on tour, and they did 900,000 people and made $100 million. And, like, SZA does that, like, by herself. Yeah. Jay-Z and Beyonce were on tour together, and it was like – I think that part of touring is also that touring became more of a thing. Yeah. You know? I think that part of touring is also that touring became more of a thing yeah you know like

it's not if Jay-Z and Beyonce were at their peak and they toured now I think they would have a multi-billion dollar thing as well you know what I mean yeah yeah cause I didn't see I haven't seen like a ton about this but I saw one of Keegs' tweets that I again I agree with the sentiment I personally

think Taylor is one but Keegs was like they're pitting the two biggest fan bases against each other. Of course. But either way, you're going to be pitting them. They're one and two. I think, but I think Taylor being two. They announced Taylor was two a week ago. And they got a week of outrage.

I think if Beyonce was two and everyone knew Taylor Swift was one, it would be more accepted than the other way around. And I think they did that to get the outrage going. That's fair. Because I think as big as Beyonce is, it's like the beehive. Taylor is like everywhere. Yeah. Everything.

Yeah, but I think it's also like – I think that Bomani Jones was like, there's two Americas. Yes. Like we think Taylor Swift's massive. I was going to say that. Black community. Black people are like... I mean, some of the comments are like, Taylor Swift is not talented, and she's not that big.

I'm like, God. It's like, yeah, we can't even talk about this. You know what I mean? We view it so differently. I was so underwhelmed by the last half of Beyonce's career. I loved her. Not loved her. I loved Cowboy Carter.

I really liked Cowboy. And that's not my type of music. I think peopleboy Carter. I really liked Cowboy Carter. That's not my type of music. I think people who like that did think that was a good album. To me, it's not even close. They would say the same thing. Totally flipped. Then Billboard is sitting there like, we're going to get all of our clicks.

Because that is the perfect storm for them to do that. Taylor is bigger right now i i don't so to put her second right now is going to stir up more controversy because right now she's the bigger artist i agree with that but i also think people always just like claiming things happen for clicks i think is kind of lazy like how often here is there a list where like two and one like it's factored in like what's going to get me the most clicks people try and make their best list possible i don't know you try and get clicks with your headline you try and get clicks with stuff like that like maybe people here do things for attention i don't know i feel like most people are are more uh like manipulative or like

focus like they do do it for here no but like i don't think we're the only media like the only good media company in the world you're probably right i think people are like i want to put my best list i think the running joke on social media is jay-z's check cleared for this one uh like poly market and all these things that were like predicting it yeah like taylor swift was number one number one number one and then all of a sudden everyone's like oh jay-z's check cleared like which is you know just a funny thought but i mean i i also think like drake has a claim as well. Yeah. I was surprised.

I mean, Rihanna being above Drake, I think, is crazy. And if you're really going to talk about numbers-wise, it's Eminem, I would think. Bad Bunny is recent. But Eminem sold like hundreds of – like 100 million albums. Yeah. So it depends on your criteria. If you're going up the decade or the century or whatever it is like yeah i think m&m has a real argument to be like considering you number three just put out an album now that like like there have been plenty of bad albums but they all sell like millions of records yeah fucking insane so yeah you know

there's a lot of different that's you know lists are lists man that's what these fucking yeah probably bts should be number one right i don't know like they probably have like a billion fans so um it's also like it's the whole idea of lists is clickbait in and of itself so like i don't people again the people i know who work in media are trying to make their best fucking list possible but i think that's the norm i think notoriously here, all of our maps and stuff, everything, it's, like, four clicks. Our maps?

Yes, that's true. Yeah. But that's, like, a running joke with us. Like, when we come up with, like, map of the best, or, like, every state's most. Yeah, like, school party's the most, and it would be, like, from Delaware. So that's what i like the that's true essence of like those things are to get clicks but that i think that's different than

like when steven che puts out like his best quarterbacks list i don't think he's doing that for fucking clips he's like he's like these are who i think are the best quarterbacks che would put those lists out for nobody other than himself you can tell them that nobody's reading he's yeah um yeah so there is a difference but i think of this as more towards like you know this is what i think the draft is gonna get drafted like i'll tell you what's crazy i get it that i think it's because we're at like a quarter mark but like we're 25 years into the century yeah that's a weird time to do the best of the century like but taylor and beyonce could get blown out of the water by

someone in 40 years from now i don't know yeah i mean it's a very i think it makes sense they're the best of the century till today yeah yeah i think it's a 25 year thing um but it's like so but why 2000 you know i don't know it's like it's just an arbitrary i don't think it's arbitrary though like 25 years from 2000 and now that doesn't sound arbitrary yeah it's a round number but it's it's there's just so much left in the century yeah you know so you i mean you like you could say like the best artists last 25 years yeah that's probably just that's semantics but i think that's probably a better way to put it then because this list will not be the list

but yeah everyone went wild on that one um are you guys cool if i like to sit some conversations out like does it make you uncomfortable no i forget you're there yeah i'm just like scrolling no no you can sit out whatever the fuck you want i just i just i just i'm not informed enough well let's talk about like add in like stuff that i'm like well let's talk about sabrina carpenter and barry key barry key oh i don't i don't know to just add in stuff that I don't like. Well, let's talk about Sabrina Carpenter and Barry Key. Barry Key. Oh, I don't know that much about that. No one knows much about that now. No, no, but actually, actually, I did. The second that she came out with the song,

like, please don't embarrass me. I was like, shit's obviously going on behind the scenes because you've been dating for like two months and you already have gripes against him. Like, if he's already acting up and pissing you off in the first two months, don't date him. And then you got the already acting up and, like, pissing you off in the first two months, don't date him. And then you got the Libby Dunn angle

and everything. And then you have the Libby Dunn. Yeah, you don't know anything about him. Just refresh me up. Is that a TikTok thing or is that real? Is that, like, the TikTok thing or is that real? I mean, it's...

Yeah, I mean, so the girl that Barry Keoghan cheated or allegedly cheated on with is a Libby Dunn, like, lookalike. Breckie Hill. She looks with is a Libby Dunn-like lookalike, Breckie Hill. She looks a lot like Libby Dunn and does shit on purpose to be like Libby Dunn, I guess. Wears the same shit and acts the same way, which is kind of fucking weird.

This person looks like Libby Dunn? I don't know what Libby Dunn looks like. So then Libby Dunn posted a video being like dancing and the caption just said when the whole world like sees her for what she really is. So it's a whole TikTok, you know, fest.

Would, I don't know, yeah. I think it's weird that they made an announcement like, did anyone really know, like they did the video together. Was it a big deal that Barry Keoghan and Sabrina Carpenter were dating? Sabrina's kind of in that Taylor world now. Really?

Yeah. It's kind of like her versus Chapel Hill, Chapel Roan. She's kind of been embraced by the Swifties. Barry Keoghan is the new hot shit. I think people were shipping them, as they say. There's not much. That picture of him, I'm like, that guy sucks. That guy sucks.

Other pictures, fine. That right there, I'm like, this dude blows. He's a very bad dresser. He's a really bad dresser. For a guy who I would think would be good. Yeah. If you told me that, I'd be like, oh, he's probably stylish. He's probably into that shit.

The Europeans get the... And he's Irish. The Irish people don't really fall into the European pot, despite the fact that they're European. But you're like, oh, Europeans dress well. Irish and Brits? No, they don't fall in that. Yes, you can certainly dress really well. And then Brits No, no, no, they don't fall in that. There's this, like, there's, yes,

you can certainly dress really well, and then there's just, like, the dirtbag, like, white trash, Irish and British. Oh, it's tough. It is tough. No, no, that, I would never be like, oh, he dresses so European if he's Irish or British. Yeah. Those are different things. Um, I also knew it was doomed because the power dynamic of, like,

she can date anybody in Hollywood, but he can really only date her because there's probably not anybody else shorter. Oh, is he tiny? Oh, yeah. They're really tiny. She's like a – oh, wow. He must be like 5'3". She's like 5'0".

I don't know if there's anybody else in Hollywood. Oh, wow. So then I was like that must be a power dynamic just being like, yeah, go fucking find someone else, Barry. Oh, that is – a power dynamic just being like, yeah, go fucking find someone else, Barry. Oh, my God. How tall is Elordi? Elordi is big, though. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He must have been pissed when he found out he was doing a movie. Bro, that looks like a father and son. That looks like a big brother, little brother. That's crazy. That looks like a Dave that hit the third. You know what's crazy? Remember when I, probably like six months ago, I was like, it's weird how all the A-list stars are still our stars. Like Taylor Swift and stuff like that.

And since then, there's been a million new A-list stars who are like the, like at the time you guys threw out like Olivia Rodrigo, I was like, oh yeah, that's a good one. She is a young star. And then it was Chaparone popped up. Sabrina Carpenter popped up. Lordy popped up. Fucking.

Huh? Butler. He was kind of Butler. Chalamet was there. There were, like, there's one or two more artists who I can't think of right now. I'm like, oh, okay. It just happens. Huh? Charlie XCX.

Charlie XCX. Yeah. It was like, I guess it makes sense. Like, you wait until the stars age into their 30s, because, like, Ariana Grande is now in her 30s. And then you bring in the new crop. Well, there was that, I think it was Variety or maybe Esquire had, like, the new Hollywood.

But those are all TikTokers. I didn't know a single fucking person on there. That was, it's like the new A-list. Yeah, I mean, that's part of getting old is that. Like, if I was not doing this job, I am doing this job and I'm still pretty behind. Yeah. Like, my regular friends, if I said Chapel Rowan to them, they'd be like, what the fuck is this? Yes, absolutely.

No. 100%. Then that happens in the next two years then. Because everyone knows Chapel Rowan. I do not think that's true. Really? Yeah. They know the song then, if you played the song.

She's got the biggest song of the year. Yeah. Maybe because my guys have kids. Really? I don't think my friends would know how to go. Really? Maybe i'm being dramatic maybe that is bigger than i realized but like nowadays when you're also when you're not like listening to the radio and you just like you know what i mean like my friends would just like

go to work go home listen to their shit do their thing and i don't know where they would intersect with chapel room really and so maybe she's a bad, like maybe she is too big, but like whatever the next step down is, like no shot, you know? But yeah, but it's not just like, and you'd hear it in stores, you hear it at games,

you hear it like, it's played everywhere. Yeah, but it might be like, I've heard that song before, but like, That's what I'm saying. If I said to you like, who sings this,

they'd be like, I don't know. Yeah. I think. You get old and shit's like, again, even trying to keep up, I'm like, I don't know what this word means. I don't know who that is. I don't know what that song is.

And then, I mean, the rappers, forget about rappers. I rap. I'm out on, I don't know. That's also because the genre is down. I don't care what anybody says that like, no, it's just a new, no, the genre. Do you know who Ian is? Ian? That's his name?

I would say Ian's the newest, hottest rapper. I'm going to show you this guy. Is he white? Yeah. Okay. You guys are going to like, but that's him. I would say he's the most popular rising rapper. Is he from Georgia? What's his biggest song?

No, this is the guy. I got to fucking shout him out then. Dude, fucking Wayne Jetski called this like two years ago. Yeah? Really? Wayne Jetski on his Spotify, I'm sorry, on his Instagram was like, yo, this dude Ian is going to be a massive star. Wayne Jetski fucking drilled this.

Because the only reason I remember it is how long the Instagram handle was. Yeah, that's a stupid name. That's so annoying um how about dave dave the really fat guy who sits on stage you know that guy oh i saw that guy the other day dave what's his name type in fat rapper dave his name is just like dave roberts or something like that um dave dave dave big x to plug right no no his name is dave oh yeah dave blunts dave blunts bro this guy like uh we got a fat shame a little bit that's not he was first of all the song is terrible it's uh he's addicted to lean and his song bet he is. Yeah. And his song is I Can't Put Down the Cup.

And so it's just auto-tuned to the fucking maximum. Like, can't put down the cup, can't put down the cup, can't put down the cup. Over and over. And Snoop posted him and was like, who is this fat motherfucker? And then so Dave Blunt was like, fuck Snoop. And he performed at, I think this is at Tyler the Creator's thing maybe or wherever it was um it was at no juice yeah um he just sat on a couch like ours i mean he is like enormous he's enormous and he had a fucking oxygen tank to sing he's the same size frank was i was gonna say it's it's and he say, he has the same dementias as Frank.

Oh, that's bigger. He's bigger? Yeah. Frank at his peak was all like that. Yeah. Frank now is way down. He weighs over 220 kilograms. What's that weigh in pounds? That's got to be four and change, which I think Frank was.

48. Oh, that's bigger than Frank. That's bigger than Frank. Yeah, but it's not crazy. Frank, that one. That's bigger than Frank. That's bigger than Frank. Yeah, but it's not crazy. Frank was probably 450. Was he that big? I don't know. I shouldn't say, but I think he was really big.

I think he's down like 100 pounds and still in the threes. Yeah, that's true. But to me, this is garbage. Oh, man, this sucks. We've just completely mema five like yeah While Gilley had a guy on I don't even know his name He was like my songs are a minute and 30 seconds. I'm in and out like that sucks that fucking sucks I know that I'm old and like a four and a half minute song is probably to you guys like an eternity

But like give me three verses a couple choruses a, that's a song. A minute and 30 seconds is like a skit, an intro. Like, get out of here. I just, it's so, we let the game go so bad. Why did Rap get so down? I don't know. I don't know. I really don't. I mean, like, I don't know.

I think everybody tried to copy Kanye and people, so people weren't making their own styles. It was very copycat. Like, once it was like, you like you went viral i'm gonna try to do what you do and i think the sound just like blended together because it used to be like this guy raps one way this guy's commercial this guy's underground this guy raps fast this guy raps slow this guy now it just all sounds the same but again i might be old but i mean it's i think it's objectively shitty i mean it was the first year that there was no rap album for album of the year. It was like the first year that there was no number one.

I think before Kendrick came along with not like us, other than that, I think there was like no number one rap songs, which is funny though. Cause that rap right now is like, it's very top heavy. Like the peak is like all anybody can talk about with Drake and Kendrick. And then like everything after that,

I think is fucking trash. I guess's like travis scott and but even he probably would sell crazy whenever he puts out an album but i think there was like a five year five year span where everyone sounded the same and then we found out that there's no longevity and just sounding the same yeah like the yachties and now To me, that's all just the same exact thing. And I didn't know if I was getting old or not, but it feels like even the young generation does not embrace it anymore. I think the Kendrick and Drake thing is,

I was at, it was such a funny flip for me. There was one point where I was like, I am obsessed with this. This is like everything I, I don't want to talk about anything else ever again. Like it's got the again like it's got the music it's got business it's got politics it's got finance tech battle rap like all of it in one story and i thought that probably like right before thanksgiving and by like saturday

i was like i can't even like wait what story is this just the drake you know the the lawsuit was really what sparked it yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I was, you know, to me, that's all very fascinating. I know people, I think we one day will study the hatred of Drake is powering like a whole career and industry. I don't think if people hate, if people don't hate Drake as much as they do, Kendrick is not what he is. I think Kendrick is very popular right now, but what's part of it is they wanted the other side to lose. It's a very Jake Paul sort of thing. It's like we're tuning in to see this guy lose.

They wanted to dance on that grave. And there's a lot of Kendrick fans who are like getting both, but there are a lot of people who are like, I just want Drake to lose. And so now I am a Kendrick fan. So that's fascinating to me. I think what Drake is doing is any other person in the world at any other point in their career would be the hero. And people are siding with the billionaire scumbags of the music industry because they hate this guy so much. That's crazy like any if anybody else took on the music industry would be like you're the like the punk rock anti-establishment

hero yeah and people are like fuck you drake they're siding with like universal the ceo of music like oh to the i think taylor is thought of as kind of a hero now but i think she it was fuck her when she first did it too what did she do she wouldn't put her music on apple until they paid apple store apple but she's another one that was during an era where people hated taylor swift yeah yeah i think like so i shouldn't say any other time there's like two people who are like super super hated if taylor did it now i actually think probably taylor might have i think taylor might be wrapped up in this some way i think dra Drake might be like, I know what's going on over there and I want some of that.

Cause I can't imagine Taylor just has like the regular, even the, the popular cut. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like she's got to have something, but that was people, people said about her when she didn't have,

when she didn't put on Apple, again, this is all, if I remember correctly, but the, she wouldn't put on Apple and they were like, fuck her. She's got so much money in the world.

Just like, why are you negotiating for a bigger salary or whatever? And it was like, I'm not for me. I'm doing it for other fucking artists. Now, what's happening with Drake is Drake is doing this because he lost. Drake is doing this because he wants more money. Drake is doing this because he fucking hates the people at the label. But what he's doing is good for the little people. So it's like, are your motivations there no but what he is doing is objectively the right thing right the the way

those the the labels and the apps collude are it's fucking shameless like we we've talked about this before with like when snoop came out and was like i get oh one pennies per stream yeah like that is a model that will not last. I don't know if it'll take a hundred years. Maybe Drake speeds it up. At some point, the artists will either like literally unionize or they will just kind of like unofficially get together and be like, no more. Yeah. Because it's fucking crazy.

I get you. I get billions of streams and I have to go on tour to make my money. And it's kind of like a labor dispute with sports when people sports when people are like you're a millionaire already it's like fine yes i'm a millionaire i should be a billionaire like i should be making more than i you know what i mean like it's like uh with with all those things and i i i understand how it gets foggy for a fan to watch it but like be it sports, be it music, be it movies, people get mad at the middleman, which is the athletes, the musicians, the stars,

they're not working class by any stretch of the imagination, but they are the working class of that industry. Yes, that's the thing. It's like this is just an agreed upon industry where it's so valued, sports, entertainment, whatever, that the money is, just take it and add a zero. If you were making $50 and add a zero if you were if you were making fifty thousand dollars a year and you should be making 500 you'd be like

what the fuck these guys are making like 50 million and they should be making five billion whatever it is you know you're just mad at me because i'm the face of it but the fucking nameless guy in the ceo is making 700 million this year so and that's what i would say about sports where it's like yo that guy has a300 million contract. It's like you know that because for whatever reason this is all public. Their books are closed. They probably made $300 million on the fucking TV rights alone. Do you think Jerry Jones is losing money this year? Right.

Do you think fucking Robert Kraft is losing money this year? Think about this. They're able to pay that guy and 25 others. You know what I mean? And they'll end the year making probably 100 million themselves right it's it's like fuck those people who are just keeping all the money for themselves but people hate drake so much that they're on those guys side that is a level of hate i did not think was even possible because to me i i i actually i shouldn't say i'm surprised by it but like i thought there would be more people who were like, fuck Drake, but he's the good guy here.

And there is not. There really is not. There really is nobody taking his side. And it's kind of crazy. The only people I've seen taking his side are people who are like in the music industry or like I have seen how much this is fucked. And I'm telling you, these are the bad guys. He's the good guy. Like, nope, we don't like him.

It's crazy. Drake, apparently, I don't know, like, what, they, one of the, Joe Budden, on Joe Budden's show,

he said that a music exec said that Drake's catalog is worth more than the 60s, 70s, 80s, and 90s combined. Everything. How are you supposed to, how are you supposed to be okay with just like a regular deal, if that's the case?

It can't be the case. I believe it's worth a lot. That's probably hyperbole. It's worth the Beatles, the Rolling Stones, the fucking Springsteens. But currently, you know what I mean? At their peaks, maybe not. But right now, the value of those catalogs are probably not that high. But they're like $500 million.

They just sold them all. So they're all $500 million each? They said that Drake got a $400 million deal and I guess right after he signed it was privy to more information or whatever. They said he instantly recouped his $400 million deal and was like,

what the fuck? Now I'm working for free. So it's like, hey, it's kind of like sports. You signed a bad deal. You should have bet on yourself free. So it's like, hey, I mean, it's kind of like sports. It's like, you signed a bad deal. You should have bet on yourself more. But it's like he is into such uncharted territory. And I say that with like, that's why I think Taylor must have some sort of deal as well because it's like she's up there as well. It's like you can't walk in the room and be like, give me $5 billion.

You know what I mean? Because it's just never happened. It's like there's just such a gap between him and the rest of the industry where it's like i don't know you know they would never i think this is like the first time that these deals well he's i think he wants equity is the main thing yeah i don't want to have to work for every penny i make i want to just i want to make all this shit you know what i mean it is the whole thing is very this i mean i could talk about it forever but it's like he is viewed as a culture vulture and has given everybody their number one hits how can you be the vulture if you've made other careers yeah and i understand they view it

as like you're white you're jewish you you came in and you got big because of these guys but he also gave them all their first number one hits and made their careers so how am i a vulture if i gave back yeah and it's because it's not he's not like i'm doing it for the music it's like who cares what his motivations are as long as that's the result but people do not they do not see it that way they're just like fuck that dude and then so kendrick gets to ride the wave of like he's you know good and riding it perfectly and making good music but it's like the hate train is what put a battery in your back and just um let's do voicemails most we got to do voicemails it's the holidays you know what that means you know home alone you know they want you got all the gifts in the house people are traveling

the wet bandits are coming out so what better time to make sure that you make your house safe and your loved ones safe and all your belongings safe and all your gifts safe than right now with SimpliSafe. They have a big Black Friday deal that's still going on right now, 50% off a new security system. And this isn't just your regular security system where, like, you open a door and it goes, we got HD cameras. We got HD cameras. We got motion sensors. We have indoor and outdoor. So you can keep your property safe where you can stop anything from happening before they even get to your house. They have 24-7 monitoring. It's not only just burglars. It's fires. It's floods.

It's any sort of damage or danger that can be to you and your family. And it takes active guard with the outdoor protection to prevent crime before it even happens. So right now, Black Friday being extended for the KFC Radio listeners. Go to SimpliSafe.com. That's Simpli with an I. S-I-M-P-L-I. Safe.com. Slash KFC Radio.

And get 50% off. That's SimpliSafe.com. Slash KFC Radio. Half off on your alarm system today. Whoa. KFC fights. Jackie, what up? Don't mind the voice.

I know it really doesn't match for such a skinny guy. That could be the end of the wisdom. KFC fights. Jackie, what up? Don't mind the voice. I know it really doesn't match for such a skinny guy. Also, I'm taking a nap in my car over my lunch break. Anyway, how many times

would it take for you to do open heart surgery successfully on someone so you get a team of doctors fatigue doesn't play a factor you get unlimited tries obviously you're going to kill just a shit ton of people how many eventually you're going to luck into it right no you're going to learn you're going to know like which to take, how to do certain things. Walk in today. How many times would it take? A thousand? Ten thousand? A million?

I think I can probably do a thousand. No fucking way. Bro, do the doctors help you or you're on your own? I mean, you're on me. If you're not getting instruction, I don't think ever. You get one YouTube tutorial. Okay, one YouTube tutorial. Oh, wait. I was actually going to say, if I could watch endless YouTube tutorials, I think I could don't think ever you get you get one youtube tutorial okay one youtube tutorial oh wait i

was actually gonna say if i could watch like endless youtube tutorials yeah i think i could one one one comprehensive youtube tutorial that you can watch unlimited but it's like everything you need it's everything you need it's step by step and it's like there's there's captions it's one two three four i'm sure bro i still think this takes you like 20 million tries. Think about like you give me a step-by-step recipe to make some food and it comes out pretty shitty. Let alone keep – I do not fundamentally understand how you can like chop a heart out and put a new one in or fix it or whatever. Like that's crazy to me. Sometimes I'm like I actually don't understand how they're doing that but like then kind of when you just see all the idiots in the world it's like i guess it can't be

that hard because like if we're able to do that it can't be as complicated as i agree with you i i think there are i think i think i'm under a thousand no yeah I'm under 1,000. You guys are crazy. I'm under 1,000. 1,000 searches? Oh, my God. If I do anything, I think I could get like, Jackie, you've done the podcast 1,000 times. You still fuck this up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you fucking occasionally, most of the time you don't.

Most of the time you do a really good job. I guess so. I guess so. So all you need is one. Okay. All right. I actually know, guys. I legitimately think 75.

That's my guy, dude. That's my guy. That's my guy. I said a thousand like a pussy. I'd do it in ten. That is up there with Big Cat saying he could beat Floyd by a weather. Start bringing in cadavers. I'll fucking knock this thing out. It's actually the opposite.

It's a funny question because I've been thinking kind of like this recently because i i'll sometimes get these videos of like um manual laborers yeah and and the caption is always something along the lines of like there's no such thing as unskilled labor and it's a manual labor doing something like perfectly i would never in a million years think of like someone laying like brick on a roof and they're like it's a perfect shovel and it's landing perfectly. And it's like, well, that guy's done it a million. I actually think the exact opposite. Apparently he's done it 75 times.

I think there's no such thing as skilled labor. I think everything is repetition. Everything you can figure out. I don't think so. Every job you can figure out. I don't care if you're a salesman, a doctor, a lawyer. I'll figure it out. Okay.

It'll take me time. It'll take me a long time, but I'll figure it out. I think there are certain things that are 90% you're right. And then I think there are certain jobs. And like, you know, you could say that about sports. Like you will never get on the field with a professional athlete. That's fair. You know?

That's fair. And I think that maybe open heart surgery is that version of doctoring. But there's no kind of like physical. You have to slice... You have to break their ribs and, like, remove their lungs and slice their heart open and shit. I'm not thinking you have to be, like, super jacked to, like, do it.

That's not what I'm saying. I'm just saying that's complicated. Now you have to be strong. But think about it. Like, on time 50, you're like, I've done this. I've seen every part of the heart. Yeah.

Like, I... Then there's probably not even 75 parts to the heart. I don't know what a part is. Look, we've been on tickets a couple times. We're killing 74 people. We haven't even started yet. We're not a heart expert. We're not a heart surgeon.

It's like the phrase is it's not brain surgery. That's what we're talking about. I genuinely believe 75, I'm joking, but I genuinely believe I could figure this out. It would have to be like. I think you need hands and everything too. I think it is like sports. I think you can be a good doctor but not be a good surgeon.

You got to be precise with this. Fucking easy, dude. I mean, you look like you're like be like precise with this guy fucking easy dude i mean you look like you're like i do think there is some truth to that every profession whether it's silly or traditionally like impressive lawyer doctor whatever there's a bunch of morons i don't know if it's like good heart surgeons that you won't die. I wouldn't be... So first of all, to be clear here, this would have to be something like a genie gave me this punishment.

There's no money you could get me to do. It's not like there's a billion dollars online. I don't want it. I'm not doing a million open heart surgeries. I'm not a looker. Some magical power was like, you have to do this until you succeed and then I'll let you go. In that case, I'm not a looker. Some magical power was like, you have to do this and you have to do until you succeed and then I'll let you go. In that case,

I would eventually succeed. Probably in about a week. I think it would take like 10 million. I think I would just be dead person after dead person after dead person. I actually, I guess. The hardest thing would be the death. The hardest thing would be the mass death. After like

two months in, I'm like, I'm fucking getting up there on numbers now. That's another question. That's funny you said two months. Like, what do you think you would do? A couple a day? Or do you think you would just keep going? I'd keep going. Yeah.

Because I think surgeries take like 10 hours. Yeah. So I think you get to do like one a day. I think most of these are going to last about 20 minutes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 10 hours If I'm getting to 10 hours I'm right there dude Bro I think you would get to 60 so quick And be like I have not even opened up the fucking chest Like Dude stop cutting his carotid artery But eventually you would stop I'm not gonna nick that artery

You know what I think about a lot Is like Thomas Edison Inventing the light bulb like he had a thousand and if i was like on like 555 i think it's just not for me like i'm just i was not more to invent the light that's crazy that he got to a thousand but but heart surgery like again if this genie is like you gotta figure this out okay all right but yes i agree with that like the the ability the ability to fail and keep going is crazy but nobody had figured that out but like if if so many people do open heart surgeries and they do nobody actually likes what they're doing in their job let's see how many heart surgeons are there like i guess in america

let's say this this will be telling I might be wrong here. Maybe it's like going to be, you know. There's only 4,500 of them. 1,300 in 10 years? There's only 1,000 people on the planet the last decade that do this, and you jamokes are going to figure this out in two months? In America. Come on.

Come on. There's not a great crop of people to choose from in America. I mean what let's do China and India but I think a lot of them come here because that's where you make your money being a doctor or anywhere else

so we have the top surgeons definitely so then America is the count there's 12,000 in the world. That's a small number, folks. That's a small number. Yeah, but there's 300 NBA players. Oh, my God.

75, he says. Let's get some good average up here. I'm not saying you're going to live a long, healthy life, but I'll get you out of that operating room. That's what I mean. Like, when you're following a recipe, it might not be the best. Yeah. It might not be the best turkey, but we're eating turkey tonight, you know?

Boy, this is a classic. This is an instant classic. I don't think you could get the heart back in and connected and pumping maybe ever. That shit is crazy. It's just, there's like what, five valves? How hard can it be? It's probably like plumbing where you just kind of like. Right.

It's just plumbing. Put a pipe there. It's plumbing with really high stakes. Yep. And. The deaths would get to me. That would. Yeah.

The deaths would be a factor. It would be daunting. I'd have to take therapy breaks. He's like, what are you up to now? I'm like, dude, I've killed 13,000 people. The therapist would probably be like, I don't know. All right, close your eyes. Breathe in for eight seconds.

Breathe out for eight seconds. Find something in the room that's blue. I found something that's blue. It's a guy that's fucking killed again. I mean, you guys are thinking about adults the whole time. Give me one kid and I'm like, sorry. Give me a dead kid. I kill a kid on the table, it's a wrap.

75. Imagine that. Your seventh person is an eight-year-old and they're dead and you're like, well, I got to do 1,000 more of these. Don't bring it out. I'm going to do 74 more. Fucking idiots. Next up. What up, boys do 74 more. Fucking idiots. Next up.

What up, boys? And Jackie, of course. I got a question for basically all three of you. So, this just happened literally tonight at the bar. Ran into a girl. I haven't seen her in a couple months. And basically it was the typical, hey, how you doing? Good to see you. You look good. You look

good, too. You know, walked with my boys. She walked with her girls. And good too. Uh, you know, walked with my boys. She walked with her girls. And then when I got back to sit down with my boys, the biggest thing hit me. It was, what is she saying right now to her friends? How did she just explain who I was to her friends? And I think who you are as a man kind of ranks in like three categories in that instance of how she explains who you were. Right. I think the lowest tier, like tier three is, oh, it's just some guys to talk to. Right.

It's just you brush it off. I think the middle tier is kind of like, oh, it's some guys I went on a couple of dates with. You know, we did it for a bit and then it just didn't work out. It's like, OK, you know, that's middle tier. And I think the top tier, which to some girls might not seem like the top tier, but to guys is, oh of girls that she used to fuck you and they can physically look over and see what you look like, that is the top tier. And, Jackie, you can tell me if I'm wrong, if there's other tiers, but, boys, that's the top tier. The floor is yours, Jacqueline. Well, they already know.

She's already told them the second that they went on a date. Everybody knows everything, every move. Like, they already know all your shit. They know how big your dick is. They know, like, if you made a... That's some shit that is going to put some people in a torture chamber. Yeah, sorry. Just knowing that, like, wait a minute, they know everything about...

Yeah, but, like, it's like, trust... Yeah, then you don't got to sweat what she's saying. Like they already know. Sorry. I, I obviously, but I don't, I actually don't think, I don't know if I'm weird or anything like that. They've seen all your texts. If you're ever texting a girl, if you, if you're ever texting a girl, the first two

weeks is not her. It's her friends yeah that's this issue right they agonize over everything it is funny how you guys just get allowed to break privacy laws yeah it's like they will just like oh it's like chicks yeah we show your dick yeah right right right i'm just like i show you fucking twat to everyone they'd be like that's a violation of privacy. Like, all right, whatever. When do you think that stops? So how old, you're 25?

So now, like, yeah. I was going to say, if you meet, right now your crew is like your crew. But, like, you met, if you were to go out right now with, like, the Barstool girls that you're, like, newly friends with. Yeah. You know what I mean? So as you get older, there are more times where people don't know everything about you yeah yeah yeah and also like again like now that i live alone like it's harder to share every detail of everything and whatever but i guess yeah if it was if i was explaining who i thought he was gonna say it's like i think the top tier is if they want to fuck you. You know what I mean?

I'm a little lost on what the question is. Yeah. To be honest. What's the best way as a guy was the best way a girl could describe you? Piece of shit. I mean, yeah, yeah,

yeah. Cause I think the best way a girl describe you is, is you have a lot of girls that describe you a lot of different ways. That guy's the best. That guy's a fucking asshole. Yeah. that guy's the best that guy's a fucking asshole yeah that guy's crazy there is something to at some point i feel like most you know a general human tries to be a good person so speaking about like that sect of the society not to just like blatant assholes right i think you have to realize that like you will be the

asshole to somebody in life yeah there will be a girl that like you not on purpose but like you treated her poorly because like you thought you loved her and then you didn't or you were like oh i i shouldn't have got into a relationship with you right now like there's plenty of girls where i was like oh i thought i was ready to like date again and i was not you know and they probably think i'm a fucking asshole you know and that like weighed on me and i mentioned i was like i don't know that's just who i am to that person and like do you you love me you hate me that's That's just how it's going to go, you know? I think you've got to just be okay with that. Well, probably the best is he was an asshole.

That means you want him. Yeah, exactly. And he even decks you back. But, like, if you're an asshole and you have a small dick or something like that, then that's the new story. See, this is where size doesn't matter. No, no. I'm not actually saying that. No, I'm not actually saying that. But then that's the new story. See, this is where size doesn't matter. No, no. I'm not actually

saying that. No, I'm not actually saying that, but like that is the narrative. Actually, you know what? That might be it. I'll harp on that. That might be it

is if a girl is telling other girls that your dick is small. I mean, I guess if you just have a really small dick, it's not good. But if you have a pretty regular dick

and a girl is telling everyone that your dick is small, I think it's because you like... I've never understood that insult. It's not necessarily like because of them it's like you you gotta like run with the narrative that's gonna make yourself feel best about like whatever he's a small fucking dick right but like that only works if i only works like the only way that

affects me is like if i lost my virginity to you and i've never had sex with anyone else yeah yeah yeah yeah, yeah. Otherwise, you're like, you got a small dick. Still beating. I'm going to fuck this guy. I mean, I guess if it was like. If I've never seen porn and I've never hooked up with anyone else and you're like, you got a small dick. I'd be like, oh, no.

I do? I've existed in the world. I'm fine, you fucking weirdo. Well, but I guess. You've got a fucking huge vagina. I think if you do have a small dick, it probably cuts deep. Yeah, but I think 99% of the people they say that to have just normal ass dicks. Correct.

And if you've got normal ass dicks. Your ass dick is normal. Most people have normal dicks. Yeah. And if you're a most person, then why would that bother you? Yeah, I think the average is five, right? Five. I think it's like 5.1 or something like that.

Normal ass dick. Normal ass dick. But I think if... Hey! Normal ass dick. Normal ass dick. Normal ass dick. Hey, I want to say something before we move on. That's a normal ass dick. Normal ass dick. Hey, hey, hey. I want to say something before we move on.

That's a normal dick. It doesn't affect me at all. Because I have a normal dick. I have a normal ass dick. Express is, I got to imagine, the longest running clothing brand store in the world. It's been around ever since I can remember, ever since I can imagine. They're one of the OGs.

Somebody hit me with their Spotify rap today, and they said, KFC Radio, my number one podcast for seven years in a row. And I was like, wow, that's crazy. What's crazier than that is that's half our fucking show. Yeah. I was like, yo, good on you, but you're not even considered an OG. You came in halfway. That's what I feel about Express. I feel like KFC Radio and Express have been around since the dawn of time.

And that's because Express puts out a quality product, whether you're looking to be casual or formal, whether you're looking for T-shirts and jeans, or you're looking for button-ups and suits, you're looking for high-quality sweaters. They got everything covered, whether you're buying for yourself or if you're getting gifts for people this holiday. You're in a Secret Santa. You got to get gifts for your brother, your father, your uncle. They do the ladies, too, but it's mostly the men's gear. You don't know what to get.

Somebody is hard to shop for. You can always go with Express. You can always throw the fastball right down the middle and get the quality gear from Express in-store or online. So this holiday season, go to Express.com and get loaded up with all of their gear. The Pima Cotton t-shirts, the Hyper Stretch jeans, the modern tech suits, the Merino sweaters, all of it available at Express.com today. Should I go no glasses? Does this create a glare? It's good for us.

Whatever you're comfy with. Could not care less, I think, right? You can do whatever you want, man. Say whatever you want, do whatever you want. I'm going to leave them on. I can see you guys better. My eyesight is psychotically bad right now. I really appreciate you asking

in that case so wait you were just willing to just go like blind the whole interview i mean i'm kind of flying blind right now in general what's what's your uh i love lewis black he's the best he's the freaking he's the man is this close enough am i good i i get i get mic adjustments fairly often i want to make sure i'm wait how bad how bad is your vision in terms of 20, 20, 20, like 20 what? I don't know the ratio. I don't know the number, but I know that I was told that I was... Is it nearsighted, where you can see near but can't see far? Okay.

Or is it farsighted? I'm not sure either. It's like right brain, left brain. I never remember what I got a 50 50 shot I still don't know but uh but yeah no I I went to some some eyeglass place and got looked at in Brentwood when I was living in LA and the guy's like yeah yeah you're probably getting headaches all the time because you're squinting because you can't see anything wait did you know

you were blind or it sounds like this guy kind of something was off my what my wife called it out she's like you're always squinting when you're like getting to a stoplight and you're trying and she's like you should get your eyes looked at i'm like i'm fine yeah you are legally blind we're straight up magoo bro we're straight up mr magoooo. It's like when Jameis Winston was – Jameis Winston, I think it was his senior year at FSU. It might have been later than that. I forget. But he's a quarterback.

If you don't know, he's a quarterback at FSU and now the Saints. Of course I know that. I had a feeling you did. I'm a man too. I'm a guy too. He's on the Browns now, right? That's right. He's the Browns quarterback now.

He just won the other day. He plays for the Browns though. He was an NFL – I believe he was an NFL quarterback. And they were like, dude, you're blind. And he got LASIK and was like, oh, I can see. Did the team subsequently do better? No, everyone thought they would. That's perfectly Jameis.

It's like, holy shit, Jameis can see now. They're going to be awesome. Actually, that's part of what made you so good is you had to adjust and learn under that guise. Probably, right? Dude, the NBA Jam thing is amazing. I'm obsessed with that freaking game. Really? I have so many memories.

There's something about the two faces and the fact that I learned the button swap where I'm like, oh, you can be B.J. Armstrong or Paxson and Horace Grant. You know that the Boom Shakalaka was like a mistake? They wanted them to say something else. The guy was supposed to say like another phrase and like fucked it up and they just rolled the Boom Shakalaka. Seriously? Really? That's like the French

dip. They just dropped a roast beef and some au jus gravy and boom. It's on the menu. Was that a mistake? Essentially. Boom Shakalaka is like a part of culture. Right? Imagine if he didn't say that.

I wouldn't. Remember the original phrase was something. It's like a PG curse word. Yeah. It's wonderful. There's something. I've been saying it over and over again on this show, and I know it's not really true,

but I think it's true that there is just a... Everything was better then. I do think that those video games in that era created a lot of shit that I think is really standing the test of time that I don't know if it's happening right now. And I know every generation says that. Is there an NBA jam right now? I don't know. I don't think there is.

A lot of it is, you know, as things evolve, you suddenly have competition in every facet. So it's like back in the day, there were only like two video games for NBA. Right. So it was like we were more satiated with it in its simplest form. Yeah. was like you we were more satiated with it in its simplest form yeah and then as things evolved we kind of also became these accumulation monsters who want everything to be bigger and better and it's like well i need the graphics to look like kevin durant's sitting on my lap yeah okay well now you can do your your 3d goggle thing and it'll for eighteen hundred dollars you can feel like spike lee like by the way it was uh there was a 1969 song uh oh i want to take you higher by sly and the family

stone and the lyrics were no that's great and then and the guy messed it up and said boom shakalaka so it wouldn't have been that different but boom lakalaka doesn't feel the same as Boom-Shaka-Laka. No, the shock is you. The shock, you know. Shaka-Laka does shock you. The Laka. I also think this with wrestling. I think... Are we on right now? Yeah, this is it.

Did we just begin? Yeah, we just roll. Are you sure? You guys don't look dressed for work. You look more like... You look like this is kind of a lax place. Well, this is particularly a late-back day. The interns can show up stoned and still do a great job.

Unfortunately, that's not true. You're not far off. No, I'm kidding. What were we saying about wrestling? I think that the WWF Attitude Era is the greatest. For those that don't know, the Attitude Era was a time in the late 90s in which WWE began to flex in a way where the comedy

and the sexual content and the violence all became so heightened and I do believe it coincided with the rise of new metal bands like Limp Bizkit, the popularity of Rage Against the Machine and young men everywhere were going this is the content we want and it only lasted about four years

but boy was it an explosive four to five years. I think it's the funniest bit. For those that don't know. Just a quick little synopsis. I was a wrestling fan growing up, but I was a wrestling fan. It's actually been interesting working here at Barstool because a lot of the people who I think are either the most talented or that I find very entertaining were wrestling guys.

And I was like, oh, maybe that's where they learned it. But when I liked wrestling, I liked the violence of it. I didn't care about the cut and promos and stuff like that. Yeah, there's mic work and then there's the in-ring work and you want the violence. Yeah, well, that's also like movie watching. Everyone's got their preference on genre or sub-genre. And it's like my thing with mic work versus the action

or the violence is like, how do we put Sorkin dialogue in a Fast and Furious movie and make it exponentially better? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's kind of what I had always hoped for in any programming. And once in a while you get it where there's really good crossover. I think right now WWE is doing a really good job with the Bloodline storyline where Roman Reigns and all these Samoan wrestlers that are maybe literal

extended family or not, and they're just Samoan, and they're like, you're my cousin. But that storyline has gotten to a place where there's some actual drama and long-term character work that feels cinematic while also still having these cage matches or what have you. And I think that's when it's at its best, is when you can kind of marry those two.

To me, yeah. Mankind, Undertaker, Hell in a cell awesome uh hardy boy match awesome shane mcmahon flying awesome but if you could have like for like the rock and stone cold and some of these guys who were you know they're good but they're nothing special if you could have just like told me the outcomes of the matches you know what i mean like i don't even think i would need to watch the matches i want to i want to i want to see the promos i want to see the mic work and then if you told me like and you know fast forward the match the rock wins i'd be fine with that and i think that's what's that's part of what's missing in wrestling today is people forget that the

larger than life characters are what got us on board you know um there are these restaurants sometimes right you go by a place and it says, we got tacos, we got burgers, and we got spaghetti. And it's like, I don't know that that's a good thing. I do all that pretty shitty. Some people are kind of just doing it. Sometimes you have to distill it to what is your thing you're really good at. And the guys who have gotten over, so to speak, in current wrestling are usually the larger than life characters those being uh mjf dan housing um in the wwe i guess uh this guy la knight who kind of has an attitude or a swagger about him where

he gets on the microphone it's a little bit like hold up hold up hold up i'm talking to the homeschool kids here like ready to immediately go in and start roasting them like that type of comedic edge or character confidence i'll call it yeah is is what really needs to kind of emerge again because for a while it was just tattooed in shape dudes and it was like i'm braun stevenson and you're jack jordan and it's like yeah well, it just feels like Vince McMahon took a crap and, you know, this is the this is the, man, I did not mean to mention Vince taking a crap based on the allegations you just

said. Forget that I said that. I, I, a veritable, veritable crap, not literal crap. Then you have to qualify that. Boy, that man was out of control. I heard something about him trying to start his own media company now, and I just laughed my face off.

I was like, this guy, he's never done anything in the world that was outside of wrestling that was actually profitable. So what are you going to do? Are you going to make the next Gilmore Girls? You don't know what you're doing. You couldn't make a tv show if your life depended on it also it's like brother you know you had a run did some terrible shit did some awesome shit just go spend time with your grandkids and keep them away from the search engine like go be a human being you idiot stop trying to prove to your dead father that you accomplished something.

Go find God, man. Did you watch the doc? Yeah, and I mean, the doc was weird where it was partially about Vince, but it was also kind of like a video Wikipedia page for the whole company to then introduce everyone to the new Netflix induction. Right. I mean, it was basically a marketing tool that was kind of an expose. Yep.

Yep. Um, I, you know, if, if it wasn't on Netflix and Amazon or Hulu did it, I don't know that it would have been as sure tempered or they're like, careful. It's spicy. This is mild salsa. Yeah. It doesn't taste like hot stuff. I've been working with MLW lately and doing some stuff with AEW.

And WWE is incredible, but there's so much good wrestling now, it's insane. It's hard to even keep up with how good wrestling is. How does this all work where you are wrestling with MLW, right? I have, yeah. On December 5th. This guy, Cor Bauer, just heard that I was doing the indies, and I think most of it was the interest of this random actor that I like is actually trying to wrestle. I'll bring him in, but I think I proved myself to him that I can hold my own.

You wrestled Matt Cardona for like a 30-minute match. Yeah, we had about a 20-minute match. Matt? That's not like there's plenty of people who pop in and hit somebody with a chair or pin somebody or whatever like you're fucking wrestling man thanks man yeah I think I think the internet's been pretty harsh on me as they enjoy doing well just in that way of like uh when's this guy gonna get out of here and they keep saying like oh fat David Arquette and stuff but it's like that's also a dismissive conclusion if you actually watched three or

four of my matches in its entirety you'd see me doing a butterfly suplex off the top rope. Yeah I would think the total opposite you'd see me doing the Texas clover leaf that Dean Malenko does you'd see me bleeding in the ECW arena from my forehead yeah like David Arquette when he won the fucking

belt I can understand wrestling fans be like this sucks the poor guy for him i think it was just like maybe i'm helping wrestling by shining a light on them i was in scream i was in yeah it's hard to say no to right if you're a lifelong fan they said we want to make you like win at wrestlemania or whatever whatever he did what occurs yeah that i can i can get diehard fans not liking that giving a guy a hard time who's wrestling on the indie circuit putting in like like real matches to me feels like the opposite i would embrace that and be like this guy's awesome i'm also not getting rich it's not like i'm yeah i'm wrestling in front of 500 people in a town in texas truly for the love of the game

and lowering all my rates on autographs and stuff because I also know this isn't some big city market. I'm not going to tax this dude who freaking drives a snowplow to take a selfie with me. Totally, yeah, yeah. No, I think it's fun, man. I tell people, I told Colbert, I was like, Bruce Willis had the harmonica,

Kevin Bacon's got his Bacon Brothers band. Right, right. Guys have this other thing. And for a lot of guys now, it's like golf. It's like golf is the other thing in your life. It's like a side chick almost. But for me, I thought wrestling was something I'd try. And now I love it so much that that's my harmonica.

Yeah. It's also interesting that people, I know how the internet works and humanity works and stuff like that, where you kind of just make a snap decision but like i'm a fan of yours so i know you approach things sincerely and and you put in the time and the effort and all that stuff and like any fan who knows that is like well he's fucking wrestling he's not like just a guy who's gonna come over and like you're committing to the to the craft yeah and I think, to be fair, I've seen it go other ways where sometimes I'll see a rapper show up in a movie and I'll be like, the rapper's in a movie. Or any musician, for that matter. And then sometimes they're really surprising.

You go, well, Steph can act. He's actually really good. And so I've been judgmental in the past, too. I remember when Heath Ledger got the Dark Knight. Sure, everybody had that. I was like, ugh. Because in my head. I remember when Heath Ledger got the Dark Knight. Sure. Everybody had that. Everybody. Because in my head I'm like it should be Sam Rockwell. Yeah.

Or it should be Michael Shannon. Like I had a million other people other than Heath. And then you watch it and it shut me right down. I think that was also. Was Sam Rockwell in the Contender for Jokers? Oh, I just mean guys I like. I think Michael Shannon would be a great one too. I think those guys I like. I think Michael Shannon would be a great one, too. I think, you know, those are great picks.

I think, I'm sure it happened at every level and generation, but that feels to me like kind of, that was at least the first time I, and I think the public on like a main level, mainstream level, thought, like learned, don't judge a book by its cover sort of thing. Because then, like, then you did start to see you know down the line it's like like when mcconaughey does true detective and when and when people have their i do rom-coms but all of a sudden i i had a breakout role and won an oscar and it's like oh you know just because i do one phraser with the whale sure that was a big moment too where like you really can't judge a book that was the first one at least one of the first big ones I remember being like,

oh, boy, Heath Ledger. Yeah. And in my adolescent mind, when Heath did Brokeback Mountain, I was probably 17 or something. So, like, obviously I have this very warped sort of immature mindset of a movie like that. I watch it 12 years later, and I'm like, this is amazing. I love this movie.

I don't get away from Anne Hathaway shirtless. I want to see them get in the tent again. I'm literally on board, you know? But at that point, yeah, just the immature mindset, like, oh, this guy's doing this. And then it's like, wow, I like it more than Nicholson. And I know the thems are fighting words for some people, but I don't think anyone will ever top what Heath did.

Would you consider yourself someone like that? Or do you think, like, because you started in comedy and things like that. And then I think with Blackbird, probably I, Tanya, right? Like, it was like, oh, shit, Heath, you're going to act, act, act. Do you think you were someone who was i don't know probably not to that level i think i think for a lot of people it was a thing of you're playing a lot of ne'er-do-wells and a lot of like outcasts and and people that are kind of have like a false bravado that danny mcbride thing of like i'm so proud i don't even see the stain on my shirt yeah but um but i think what

really helped was richard jewel and blackbird within a few years of each other yeah i think people yeah it's not a fluke it's like yeah i think i went from the david kechner thing to more like the john c reilly phil hoffman thing of like oh you can we can put you in a drama and and you're pretty fucking good spot to be and by I was going to say, man. And by the way, I say that loosely. I only say that because those are names people have interviewed me or compared me or thrown at me. But, you know, I would have been very...

I love David Koechner. Right. I love Nick Swardson. Like, I think these guys are hilarious and I was totally content with doing that, but I had secretly always hoped maybe someday I'd get thrown into a a serious dramatic film so early on i saw guys like jay moore and jerry mcguire um jay moore even i don't want to bring him up i guess somebody brought him

up the other days in my head but jay moore uh did hereafter a movie with matt damon and clint eastwood back in 10 20 years ago and it's, I did see comedians sometimes get cast in dramas. And I was like, clearly it's possible. I just got to kind of wait around and go to somebody. Right. So wait, were you,

I mean like, what was, what, what's your, what's your, your track? Like, cause there's comedy,

there's acting, there's wrestling. Like that all happened at once. Did one start before the other like where what was the original plan because i feel like the plan right now is you're doing all of it but yeah no and and thankfully that's those avenues have kind of opened up or i've i've sort of knocked on some of those doors and found them to be unlocked thankfully but um the original plan was comedy comedy comedy it was just yeah my dream was my dream when i was a

teenager was i'm going to go to tish school of the arts at nyu get a four-year degree in filmmaking acting whatever and i'm gonna get on saturday night live and snl will be my gateway to other film tv stuff and then eventually i'll direct like rob reiner and i'll do like a spinal tap and a misery like the idea of playing in different you had a real plan yeah that was like a full-out plan that was like the dream plan and then i had an educator kind of tell me like you don't really have the grades for tish and i didn't even investigate it i just took him that got cut off real quick which whoever it was and god bless him i didn't spend that tuition money yeah that i didn't have uh and made it some

other way but it was always like the dream was i'll do stand-up and i'll write scripts i'll try to get an snl and then eventually you know you the snl thing is very direct yet elusive where it's like you join a comedy school comedy theater you kind of give your life over to them and show like crazy amounts of loyalty and you'll get plucked to do the auditions and i was like i don't really want ucb taking credit for all my creativity yeah sure i've been writing and performing since i was like seven yeah i'm not gonna i'm not gonna say like i'm the second city yeah i'm the ucb guy so i kind of in my own pride got away from that and just started I've written like 20 feature-length movie scripts really since I was a teenager shit and never sold or made any of them

but um but I've gotten people attached at one point I had I mean I've had everybody from freaking uh Richard Jenkins to Arnold Schwarzenegger to Bobby Moynihan attached to stuff like just random people in different phases of iteration but I think now because of the acting maybe that's going to help open the door for me to make my own stuff

the way Bo Burnham did 8th grade and Jordan Peele a comedian made Get Out it's like clearly there's a path. You can do it if it's at a certain price point and you can prove yourself and get some help from buddies. Can you do some of those old projects, you think?

What's that? Are you talking about like doing those old projects or just now you can do new ones? Yeah, or just one of the newer ones that are probably way better than the ones I wrote 12 years ago. Yeah, but it's funny too, though. If you become big enough where it's like, and you feel like those are quality,

it's like, I got 10 of these bitches ready to roll. Yeah, or even like realistically, like, of the 10 of those bitches, of them, two or three are really good. And those are the ones I'll focus on and try to make attachments and stuff.

But yeah, no, I hope to, I'm already producing some of my projects. I'm producing the Chris Farley movie I'm attached to. I just produced a movie that went to the Toronto Film Festival that I starred in. Tell me about that Farley movie. Yeah, we're hoping to shoot it Q4 next year. That's the hope. Josh Gad's directing.

Wow. You're a busy guy, huh? Holy shit, yeah. What do you do shit I work really hard I try to line stuff up because my whole thing is I never know what's going to fall apart either You got the wrestling You got

Farley coming up this year Or next year I guess technically You're in Springsteen This year I shot four movies back to back I did. This is good. After four months of doing nothing, too, I had a dry spell after I won the Emmy for Blackbird back in January,

and then in February I had a Netflix movie come out called Orion in the Dark. It's like a kid's movie, animated. But for four months I didn't work, and I was getting kind of scared like I really thought the Emmy win might help yeah I'm not doing anything when you say you're not doing anything what do you mean I was one staying at home hanging out with my kids like is there is there literally zoom meetings with some filmmakers I'm reading scripts but like it the only offers I'm getting are like this small indie films that are like hey can you come do one day we'll throw you a bag of cash but really this isn't the type of project you want to do it's

more of a favor to us and you'll make quick money and i yeah i'm trying not to do that i'm trying to get involved in stuff that i'd be really proud of and want to pay my 40 50 bucks to go see because you figure babysitter plus popcorn plus ticket whatever whatever. It's probably even more than that. So I'm always thinking of the consumer when I sign on to stuff. Are people going to give a crap about this? Can I swear on this? I'm not trying to swear. Say whatever the fuck you want, man.

If people will give a god darn. So you win the Emmy. Nothing's really coming. It's quiet for a little while. I remember I did get... What was the offer? I got... There were a couple offers for things

that just didn't line up. And then out of nowhere, everything kind of hit at once where Damon and Affleck came on board to produce a movie that I co-wrote and I'm starring in. The Instigators. No, but who?

Damon and Affleck. Matt Damon and Ben Affleck. Oh, okay. Yeah, but who? Damon and Apple. Matt Damon and Ben Apple. Oh, okay. Yeah, I've heard of those guys. They made a film called Dogma. One of them was in Reindeer Games, yeah. Damn, that's awesome. I'm developing a movie with those guys that I'm starring in and co-wrote and producing.

And then the Farley thing hit, like where new line cinema bought it in this little bidding war we had with a couple companies and then i got fantastic four got offered to me and then naked gun was a last minute thing where they had someone cast and they fell out they're like do you want to play liam neeson's partner akiva shaffer at lonely islands director i'm like of course i want to do that are you doing like farelli and walberg too isn't that wasn't that me yeah no peter fairley who did green book uh and famously did all those comedies with his brother bobby i did a movie with him and walberg it's it's me walberg uh benjamin bratt molly shannon eric andre sasha baron cohen Benjamin Bratt, Molly Shannon, Eric Andre, Sasha Baron Cohen. Jesus. It's an absolute riot.

It's insane. Have you shot that yet? Yeah. Shot all this. This is all in the can. The Springsteen thing is what I'm doing now. That's why I'm in Jersey. So you're really about to, like, I mean, you've already made it, but you're really about to blow up.

It depends. It depends on how the films perform. Sure, sure. And if I'm at the height of my intellect and ability or if I'm phoning it in. Sure, but I mean, like, when those things hit back to back to back, you know. I hope. That's the idea. No, it's getting all the bullets in the chamber.

It's like, okay, a Marvel film, a giant studio comedy uh another giant studio comedy a smaller film writers and directors and yeah like that's that's the hope that's the dream is to do all that there was a year i study other actors in their careers too just to see um what me and my agent and manager talk about all the time it's it's uh oh what is it uh career architecture and and there was this there's this guy caleb landry jones you feel yeah get out his brother and get out okay um yeah the creepo brother and get out he's incredible he's in like a ton of stuff but there was a year where he did and i forget what year was it might have been 2017 actually there was a year that he did the florida project with willem defoe and sean baker he did get out with jordan peele

he did three billboards outside evan missouri with martin mcdonough and francis mcdormand and sam rockwell the tom cruise one too and he did American Made with Tom Cruise and Doug Liman. And I remember looking at that year and I remember going, I want a year like that. Yeah. I have to have a year like that. And I think next year might be that. Being able to do it is super rare. Everyone's always talking about manifesting. Manifest.

I can speak about growing a tail or a unicorn horn it doesn't mean it's going to show up yeah i'm very much a spiritual dude that believes you know god gives you what you can handle and a lot of people think that means stress like god will only give you so much stress you can handle it's like yeah i think it's the other way around it's usually like blessings like how what can you steward well and what are you ready to take on yeah because a lot of times we are stressed beyond belief and i was gonna say god you can stop throwing it's like it's like most people are juggling you know and that's the other thing about hollywood being out of touch sometimes with regular genuine people is like we can sometimes

magnify problems as if they're these big problems and they're not. Most people are trying to, most people can't afford organic vegetables and fruits and they're dealing with their dad's hospice bills and they hate their boss and are looking to transition, but have no options. It's like, that's a real life thing but i think like in my case i've been very lucky that i felt like god teed me up to do things when i was ready for them because i wanted them years ago but i wasn't ready i was arrogant or i was immature or i just hadn't learned enough yet but he's also he's teed you up pretty well for a long time because i was talking about the big g man yeah when we long time. We're talking about the Big G, man? Yeah.

When we were thinking, when you were talking earlier. Big G, bold italic underline. We were talking about your original plan where you wanted to do Tish and then SNL and all that stuff. And I thought that was interesting that you obviously didn't do SNL. But I would say that you have done the three generation-defining comedies of the current era like like between i would say sunny key and peel and i think you should leave oh wow like those are three sets and be involved with of like no and that meant a lot to me to get to do stuff that i was a fan of previous to booking yeah yeah particularly i think you should leave because the sketch connection but like sunny to me is like i grew up with sunny like i think people

talk about how they grew up with uh snl like it was a huge thing and like to be on those sets and that at such a young age because you did sunny before you you left la after sunny how old are you right now yeah i was i'm uh 38 but i i am young I did It's Always Sunny my first year in L.A. My first year in L.A., I booked like four jobs. And it was very successful, at least on paper, where it was like my booking ratio was good. But I didn't know how to manage money, and I was a freaking idiot. I was like buying $12 paninis at cafes and drinking beer all the time.

That doesn't sound that bad. I thought you were going to say, I bought a Benz. What a panini. When you're living in LA and the cost of living is so bad, you may as well be buying it. My Maserati was a $15 sandwich with bacon and

arugula. But no, I very much prided myself on being comedy capable and then getting to do key and peel community it's always sunny unbreakable kimmy schmidt reno 911 i think you should leave um cobra kai where i'm doing comedy there like that has been so i take a lot of pride in showing up in comedies and trying to crush it right because i love comedy so much it's so near and dear to me that it's a big deal for me to get to do those uh sometimes i'm reaching out where like i just saw that show what's the the new show on Netflix with Kristen Bell and Adam?

Oh, nobody wants. Nobody wants this. Yeah. My wife and I watched it, loved it. And I call my reps immediately. I'm like, I'm texting Tim Simons and Kristen Bell and people I know on the show. And I'm like, I will do any any guest star on that show. Please put me on that show.

Because if I'm a fan, do it. If I'm a fan, I'm i'm a fan i'm just gonna put it out there you never you never know if they'll call you or something glow was the one i really wanted yeah because you're a marion guy too right what you're mark maron guy oh i adore him yeah adore mark maron great actor by the way he's always so like down on himself like you know i act sometimes it's like dude you're an actor. Stop. Like Todd Phillips and these people are like casting you in stuff and they could cast anyone. They cast you because you're good.

It sounds like you're really like a student of the game. Very much so. Yeah, the way Michael Jordan used to be on his driveway. I'm going to take a million of these while it's dark. Like I was that way with I'm going to watch a Cindy Lumet film. I'm going to read a script. I'm going to read this Meisner book. I'm going to take a million of these while it's dark. Like I was that way with, I'm going to watch a Cindy Lumet film. I'm going to read a script. I'm going to read this Meisner book. I'm going to study SNL.

Like it was just. And then, and then like, even just the desire, it's like, I want to do these things. I'll, you know,

I'm sure there are people who, you know, that's the, I won't, I won't make enough money doing that or that's not worth my time or whatever. But it's like, if you really love it and you want to do a guest spot and you,

and you see the value and you know, all these things, it's like that, I think is how you build like a foundation to then be ready to pop. When the big G man gives you the chance, it's like I've got my 10,000 hours in or whatever little thing you want to call it. Like I'm ready to go. I think some of it is also self-amusement. Like a lot of the things I do are because i actually like them yeah that's a huge part too you're doing it for the wrong reasons or like you know i thought that was very clear

in the um i believe it went viral i don't know uh the clip of you on rick glassman show when you got oh yeah inside out too and you were oh yeah it was very cool you were like i'm just i'm having a moment right now and like because i really enjoy what i do was very cool that you were like, I'm having a moment right now because I really enjoy what I do. And I think you said some people would not have this. I forget what you said, but it was kind of beautiful in a sense where you were like, this matters a lot to me, and I'm just taking this in. Yeah, it did, and it was the smallest role in the whole film.

But it was like, you know, there's a bible verse that says uh better is one day in god's courts than a thousand elsewhere i'd rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my god than dwell in the tents of the wicked and i think that's kind of that sums up me in film and television i would rather be a doorkeeper in a dope show or movie right then be the star of something that sucks and maybe makes money, but it's like got a 20% run tomato. And then you're never going to make any money again because that's what you do.

Because there's something dishonest about that. You can't say you love Amelie and then you're making Fast and Furious 30. Well, hang on a second. Hang on a second. You can get the fuck out, sir. You technically can, but to me there's something weirdly dishonest about it.

It's like saying you're going to go to a Michelin restaurant, and then you're like hawking corn syrup to kids. Yeah. There's just something a little off about it, and it's not as damning as that. Obviously, go make whatever movie you want. Make a movie about vampires having sex in midair. There's two sides to it that I equally respect. Someone being like, this is all so silly. We're just

pretending in front of cameras and there's more important things in life. And it's like, people think I happen to be good at it or people think I'm good looking and so I get these roles or whatever it might be and they're kind of like, this is crazy. I respect that.

But almost on the other side of the spectrum, but the equal amount of respect, meh, this is crazy. I respect that. But almost, you know, on the other side of the spectrum, but the equal amount of respect, probably a little bit more, is taking it as serious as you do where it's like, I'm going to... I think so many people don't want to try. You know what I mean?

Or they want to perceive that they're not trying and they don't care and all that shit. And it's like, no, I care about this. I'm practicing it. I want to learn it. And then, because obviously the whole thing is when you fail doing that, you look like an no, I care about this. I'm practicing it. I want to learn it. Because obviously the whole thing is when you fail doing that, you look like an idiot.

Where if I don't care, I can't fail. But it's like, no, it's not cool to not try. No, and in no other facet of work would that be seemingly acceptable. You don't want a locksmith who's like, I don't know, maybe door works. It's like, what do you have, fucking ass brain? I think like, you know, my wife and I talk about it a lot. My wife uses the term excellence. She says, we want to do things with excellence. So if we have people over at our house and we're just putting out a charcuterie board, it's going to be the best charcuterie board we can make.

And we're going to have five kinds of meats and chocolate mousse or whatever. Some preserves maybe? Some preserves, certainly. Preserves make a big difference jam for sure i remember my boss yelling at me when i was young and a bad worker like i was probably like 17 and he was like he's like if you and i had like you know a 17 year old level job i was like on a boat i cleaned a boat and i didn't clean it well one night and he was like you think this is all you do you think this is like who cares about this he's like but you think this is all you do? You think this is like, who cares about this? He's like, but it doesn't matter if you're a toilet cleaner.

Someone is going to notice you clean that toilet well. Oh, interesting. And I was like, that's a fucking pretty good way to put it. Okay, I'll start trying. Good point. So you scrub the fuck out of that toilet, man. I love that. But like doing it with excellence.

Like do it so people will notice that the fucking someone tried doing this. And I think the bad version is when we get our... When we get our... What is the word I want to... When we feel our worth or value is in our excellence. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because then you're just saying like, I only matter if I'm great at something.

And it's like, well, that's not good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And especially when you start factoring in feedback and outside people talking and it's like... That's not good yeah especially when you start factoring feedback and outside people talking and it's like you know that's why I go to the self-amusement because I'm like even if like I had this producer I won't say his name but this big time producer guy who's worked on some big stuff approached me in sort of a scummy way at this award show and he was like he was like hey uh why do you do that Cobra Kai show? You're like an award-winning actor now. And I was like, I do it because they pay me well to have fun and do comedy.

Right. And people love the show globally. And when I go to an airport, little kids are tugging on their parents' jackets going, is that Stingray? Like, it's adorable. It's fun. It's cool. It's like, oh, I just made this nine year old's day by taking a selfie in the.

Also, you know, it's, it's, it's on, it's like six season of, of a Netflix show. It's not like you picked some garbage.

I get what he's saying. I mean, I signed on second season when it was still YouTube red, but like, it's that idea though of like, it's funny that his purview is that this is beneath you. And I'm like, fuck that.

Not if it's good. And I'm having a blast. So that's like beneath you and i'm like fuck that not if it's good and i'm having a blast so that's like my dream with wrestling is like i would love to i would love to be a tag team champion in mlw by 2026 but also be working with aronofsky or the coen brothers or whoever now is there a problem with that though like like what happens the day that you get a role and then you, like, break your fucking arm wrestling? And it's like, shit, now I can't do this role that I, you know. Let's hope that doesn't happen. Yeah, I don't want to put that on the universe. You made a face like, I didn't even consider that.

Is your manager ever like, we got to cut this wrestling shit out, bro? I mean, I don't think they love it, but they're supportive of me and they know that the way i talk to my wife and reps about it is this i say i'm taking calculated risks yeah i'm not jeff hardy you will not see me climb a 12-foot ladder and do a swanton bomb through a table yeah like there's no reason for me to do that but i can learn how to take and give suplexes and get clothes lined off the apron and do a Boston Crab. I can do that. And that's also where some people are like, we don't watch Paul Hauser wrestle. And it's like, well, look at the world of hip hop.

They're not all created equal. There's an Earl sweatshirt, and there's a Most Def, and there's a Common. Then there's Run the Jewels, and then there's Despot, and then there's Kendrick. It's like there's all these different flavors and types of things that in wrestling, not everybody needs to be doing a Hurricanrana off a ladder through a flaming table. Some of us like doing Russian leg sweeps and back breakers. That is okay. It's okay to do that.

Pepper Palace, a new sponsor of ours, is a line of small batch, handcrafted hot sauces and barbecue sauces and seasonings and all the stuff that makes your food taste good. I've become such a hot sauce guy. It's a real problem. Bro, I love hot sauce.

I'm like Hillary Clinton. I got it in my bag. Hot sauce in my bag. Dude, once you find one you really like, this has the Serrano lime in it. To me, hot sauce, it's not just about hot. You got to have the flavoring. I like the spice, but the flavoring is really where they get me. And Pepper Palace has all sorts of different flavors.

Here's the Serrano Lime is one of my favorites. They got the Fiery Heat if you're like a crazy person who wants to set your mouth on fire. And then they got the regular ones. So from wild to mild, Pepper Palace has got you covered. They have over 90 retail stores where you can go and try a sample of all of their different flavors before you buy them. Or you can just order them online.

Get the seasonings. Get the wing sauces. Salsa is not just hot sauce. It's any sort of, I guess we'll call it condiment, right? Yeah. Condiment. Condiment. We start getting blurry.

Salsa. Salsa. Dip is not quite a condiment. I'll call it condiment. It can be used in condiment fashion. Yes. Yes. So save 20% right now when you use promo code KFC.

You can visit them in store or shop online. And like I said, if you go in person, you can test them out or go to pepperpalace.com. Use promo code KFC and get 20% off any of your condiments. I take it you're a hip-hop fan the way you're speaking about that. I am. Not in the sense that you can quiz me and I'm going to be like, that was 1993. But there's no one I have more respect for than Kendrick Lamar,

and that was way before the last couple albums. I just think that guy is living right, and he's doing it his way, very much on a self-amusement and self-preservation kick of keeping himself unpolluted from the world. So then what do you think about Drake? I think he's a very talented guy who's probably wildly immature and needs to have the growth that someone like Kendrick has had. Two pretty good answers.

It's fair to call someone. I'm not much of a hip-hop guy, so I don't really know that world that well, but I'd say those are two good answers. I listen to everything. I love country. I love hip-hop. I love the occasional pop. I can bop to Miley Cyrus' Flowers, but I'm also bopping to Johnny Mathis,

and I'm also bopping to Johnny Mathis and I'm also bopping to, you know, a rage against the machine. Yeah. So, uh, I'm, I'm back to this Farley thing.

Cause I'm the following. Cause I'm, can we talk about how fresh that hat is by the way? This one is a nice hat. That's Chris. I noticed that we've been recording earlier. It's a good hat. It's,

it's also like my, my team's it's tough. I'm a Mets Knicks guy, and big like blue and orange hats. Sometimes it's hard to wear. I don't know. I like that it's like a little muted. Yeah. No, I'm for color coordination or for getting crap from other fans?

More like color coordination. It's just like this hat I can wear out. It doesn't work with everything. Yeah. Well, this hat – so every Father's Day, my kids get me a Mets hat. And I think their mother just does not even try to get the right size hat for me anymore. He's a 7 and 5 eighths. It's a 7 and 7 eighths, bro.

I think I'm like 7 and a quarter. I got that one, man. But it's nice to have one that fits me. Thank you. No, Farley, sorry. I didn't mean to go off. Farley, I just, you know, he to me, you know, going back to NBA Jam, I'm a, like, 90s nostalgic freak, and I think, you know, that era is amazing.

It's my own. I love it, you know. And I just think Farley is probably the greatest what if, you know, ever. Yeah, man. And I think they've tried to fill that role with other people, and some people are great too, but I don't think it would have been anything. But then I go to, like, you know, was he that way because of all his demons? Like, is it, you know, it could go a million different ways with him. I think he's fascinating.

Well, but he was brilliantly funny before he dealt with fame and all the stuff in New York that, you know it could go a million different ways with him i think he's fascinating but he was brilliantly funny before he dealt with fame and all the stuff in new york that you know i i think i think he was getting into the drugging stuff in chicago i don't think that the drugs were as prevalent back in wisconsin for him right but um but he was funny back then i so i think he was funny because he was funny but i think you know the the yeah the demons were just completely out of control and and you got to believe the other thing is too i had to make a conscious decision for myself because all the guys i grew up loving jim carrey and robin williams and chris farley these guys also are pretty open about dealing with drugs and alcohol and depression

and feeling like they have to be on. Like I have to entertain people all the time. I remember I was working at a summer camp, and there was a night where everybody was paired up on this night out. You get one night out a week to blow off steam and go to dinner and hang out with your buddies instead of watching the kids. I was with a bunch of staff members, and all the guys and girls are paired up, and I'm like the odd man out

with no one to, like, snuggle under a blanket with by the riverbed or whatever we were doing. And I remember this girl said, make us laugh, Paul. And that feeling of, like... Fuck that, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I already feel terrible.

Dance, monkey, dance. Yeah, it was very much your monkey Derek dance, like from Zoolander. And I just remember feeling that and going i never want to feel that again yeah and that moment at 16 or 17 really helped me start to slowly pull away from being the wind-up thing yeah and i got better at it as i got older because i still i'm three years sober too i. I was very much following in the footsteps of Farley of just like my weight got up to 330 pounds at one point. I was smoking weed like every other day.

Like it was just normal and just binge eating, binge drinking. Everything was fun, but it was only made more fun if I was loaded. And so like all my heroes, Chris Farley, Philip Seymour Hoffman, it's these these guys are all going down this similar path so i thank god i i had a pivot but i could have been in that same exact boat i think farley was the king of you know make me laugh right it was like yeah or at least he felt that he had to at all times and also like screw those people that also made him feel that way yeah and didn't just have a level of respect and just were like, can you take your shirt off and jump in that snowbank?

Screw those people. It's funny you said the snowbank. I'm sure you've read the same book. I read it back in college, and I forget what it was called, but it was like a collection of stories by Farley's friends. The Chris Farley Show, yeah.

That's the basis for our movie. Okay, so I was going to mention to you a part of it that again I'm sure you're aware of because it sounded like what you were just describing I think Chris Rock in it explains that the Chippendale sketch was where we lost Farley for good yeah he and Odin Kirk and a few people are very vocal about that yeah that I set the tone for I remember hearing was it Odin Kirk maybe another one set the tone for his comedy remember hearing... Was it Odenkirk? Maybe another one. Set the tone for his comedy identity. Yeah. And I think Chris Rock, I think if I remember that book correctly,

I remember reading it in class, which probably wasn't great, probably why I didn't finish college. But I was reading it in class and that line stuck out where it was like, that line was where, that sketch was where we lost Chris forever.

Because when he was like uncomfortable. Fuck that sketch. But like, it was the literal dancing monster. Yeah, it was with him and Swayze. No, but yeah, I know but yeah i know the sketch i'm saying like he didn't because it was just like a look at me i'm fat and dancing like yeah i think he was the but it also was it was so fun yeah the joke wasn't the conceit or concept it was your and and really what what if people go back and watch that and they go farley is sexy and he is cool and it's

funny because he's big but it's also funny because he's so agile yeah it's like in a way he is holding his own yes yes and so like that becomes part of the endearing humor and it's not just a pincushion sketch yeah but of course if you're impressionable and you're an addict you're going to feed into that. That's going to, you know, you won't have that kind of confidence. And I always had the, I have some weird dogged confidence, competitive streak in me that like, I'm not saying I'm as good as anyone at all,

but I'm saying I'm dying to work with DiCaprio and Denzel and those guys. But it's not because I'm just a fanboy. It's because I want to steal the ball from Jordan. Yeah, I was going to say. Part of me is like – I'll play on the court with these guys. Part of me is literally like watch me hold my own. Yeah.

And that competitive thing, which is like the athlete's mentality for an artistic person, it's like I think that's a good thing. And I wish Farley had had more of that to not have been like, Oh, maybe someday I'll be Belushi, but I'm better than Belushi. Yeah. Right.

Cause I think that, that helps us survival. Totally. I was going to say, then you, then you start to think longterm and you start to think I can't do this. And was it that book as well with the, has the Lorne Michaels quote where he talks about how he like sat Farley down to give him kind of a lesson? And it was something along the lines of like,

Belushi was fucked up for the 60s. I might get the decades wrong, but he's like, fucked up for the 60s, doesn't remember the 70s, didn't make it out of the 80s. Don't be that. Yeah, no, he had a couple like, come to Jesus, come to Lorne moments where he wanted to break through to him. And he did for a time. I mean, I think Chris had two and a half years of sobriety at one point before Black Sheep. And I think Black Sheep was what really derailed him. The movie, he didn't really want to do it

and it didn't go the way he wanted. And, you know. Turn to the demons again, yeah. And dude, I'm three years sober. Granted, I have a wife and kids. It's different. Yeah. But if I had a movie I starred in not go well, I like to think.

I think it's one day at a time. But I like to think that I wouldn't relapse over being disappointed in a movie. Yeah, right. If anything, I'm going to go do a hardcore match with Sammy Callen. We're going to beat the piss out of each other. But you know what? Honestly, it's not the healthiest thing when when they say you know you kind of swap one addiction for another sort of like that but if you channel it in a way where it's like he maybe he didn't have

that you know maybe maybe if chris raleigh was wrestling on the independent circuit it would be like i'm gonna go do that and yeah and when you don't to your to your point i love what you said though like it is the great what if. I think he would have been like the number one. Imagine Chris in a movie like Anchorman. Right, right, right. Imagine Chris doing the Fatty Arbuckle drama and playing a historical figure and getting an Oscar. Yeah, I think he would have been the guy who would have had a run.

I don't think he would have been in Anchorman. I think he would have been, instead of Will Ferrell, it would have been his time to shine. They could have had a run like i don't think he would have been in anchorman i think he would have been instead of will ferrell it would have been you know his time to shine right like but i had a whole nother character i think he's the guy who like 20 years after that he could have been a drama and then you go oh shit this guy can really act and phil hartman too i'll say something that bothers me is the same way bill murray and bob odenkirk have had dramatic moments in an otherwise comedy status career, I think Phil Hartman could have had his Better Call Saul

for his moment. More heartbreaking in a different direction. Jesus Christ. He was so good that as a child, I remember watching Jingle All The Way, and I was like, this guy is unbelievable. Get your Schwarzenegger guy off the screen. Get more more of this guy that voice and delivery and everything is so good

so wait oh for the farley movie um uh does it have the like co-sign of the of the farley crew you know the the sandlers and the spades and all those guys that's a good i know they're kind of like protective over him in a way i feel like like. And they are for the right reasons. It's not for the wrong reasons. They very much, I mean, we've had conversations with Spade and Sandler and Tim Meadows and those guys. Yeah. And I think part of them is they're not thrilled about it

because they're a little concerned about like, is this going to be a sob fest or is this a celebration of chris but what i think got people on board now including the family is that we are trying to reintroduce chris to a whole new era of people and we are trying to celebrate him in a victory lap of like it's not just this dead comedian it's this this light that burned out too quickly and this light can also be rebulbed at least from the the rewatchable standpoint of teach your kids about chris farley and yeah there's a lesson there about like self-worth and addiction stuff and being safer with yourself but also like in a dark world it's the world is the darkest it's ever been yeah

we need a chris farley right now we need chris right we need freaking shrek 5 like give us something to freaking breathe out and believe in and and enjoy because we're so distracted from the onslaught we don't realize that we've been psychologically recalibrated in a way that we're so distracted from the onslaught. We don't realize that we've been psychologically recalibrated in a way that we're not even aware of. The way we grew up, the three of us. How old are you guys? In your early 40s? 30s. Oof, that hurt.

I only said it because he looked at me like I was a whippersnapper. I said 30s. He's like, oh, you're young. Lights up a pipe and starts reading guideposts. Well, I thought to myself of, I mean, at the same age, and you've done a lot fucking more than me, brother. I'm sure there are a lot of things you've done that I haven't done. But I very much, I feel as though we're just in a place right now

where we don't know the repercussions long term of having the 24-hour news cycle having the twitter having people giving criticism in real time constantly as if they have any expertise or any logical reason to be giving criticism yeah it's messing us up and our children will be it will be their new norm. It'll be their, their like life. I'm hoping it goes back the other way. You know that the next generation. I don't think you can put the toothpaste back.

Yeah. It's one of those things that it's here. Unless you have things to distract and you have positive voices that aren't just like freaking pop stars, like shaking their groin in front of a vehicle and throwing money into a crowd like i if we can have the chris farley's and the poets and the the people that start clothing lines out of their garage and like the dreamers that is that is hopefully what can embolden people rather than just we're living vicariously and then we're i made a career out of talking about other careers on tiktok it's like that's

that's what we want to get away from we want young people to know that they have a voice that we need to hear rather than you're going to be part of the cacophony of people criticizing other voices yeah it's like shut the hell up don't make something before you tell anybody how to do anything yeah so if you had to pick, let's say, what would you say, let's just call it like, to be the, win the belt at WrestleMania. Whoa. Win a Oscar. Whoa.

Win or, Emmys don't carry the same clout, but let's say you have like a TV show that is, you know, an eight-season classic is you know a eight season classic you know something like that so basically the pinnacle in television pinnacle in movies pinnacle in wrestling what in what order would you put those things oh man um there are men and women and and folks who have worked way harder than me in the wrestling world who I think deserve those championships and those opportunities far more than me.

So I would put that at the bottom, even though secretly that's a desire to someday be good enough. Yeah, like what if you got there? What if you did it, like I said, when I say the pinnacle, meaning like so then you do this for 20 more years and you pay your dues and the fans love you

and so that belt is actually earned. Would you pay your dues, and the fans love you, and so that belt is actually earned. Would that be the best? If 10 years from now I was holding an Intercontinental Championship in WWE, it would be the coolest thing in the world. Or in AEW, and I'm their TNT Championship, which is what Brodie Lee and Cody Rhodes and all these great guys have had. That would be unbelievable. MLW, like to be the open weight champion in MLW

or to be a tag team champion in that company would be incredible. So, yeah, no, I mean, I guess I have the Golden Globe and the Emmy. For me, it would be. I'm working with your criteria here. This is it. I didn't throw it on the side. I think it would go a wrestling championship number one and Oscar number two and then maybe like a spoken word

or comedy Grammy number three. Hell yeah. The Emmys have been there, done that, got the T-shirt. I also make music. I put out a... All right, fuck off. I put out a...

I'm not saying it's good. It's like saying like, yeah, I have two kids. Doesn't mean I know how to make love well. I just got someone pregnant twice.

No, it's the idea of... I put out a hip hop EP two years ago under the name Signet Ringer, and it's called Murder for Hire, but Hire is spelled H-I-G-H-E-R. What's the meaning of that name? Signet?

What is it? Signet Ringer. What does that mean? A signet ring is one of those rings where it can make an impression like a king would put ink in it and mark stuff. Ringer, of course, being like someone sort of incognito. Sure. How was that received? I don't know that it was received much at all just because it didn't, like, have some big moment in general to even be received.

But I put it out and I enjoyed making it. I was going to say, I would love to do something like that. Like, I'm a big hip-hop fan. Why wouldn't you? Yeah, I know. I've thought about it. But, like, just – and I literally would not care if a single person listened to it but if it's fun like in the studio and work with you know what i mean and just like i did that i think you should

you also have an audience which a lot of people don't have so like even whether it's well received or not you should honor the fact that you have that interest and you have a built-in audience with which immediately you have ears because i mean that's what people want that's what yeah yeah no kill for an audience amen brother several hundred thousand people i got a question for you i've heard you refer to yourself as a character actor a number of times what is where does it change because like i would call i call you an actor where like what is it what is a character actor? I think a lot of it's insecurity and self-deprecation. Okay, there's the answer. All right.

I know that game well. Like, I've heard of that, you know? I want to be as good as Denzel and Robert Duvall and DiCaprio. I want to be as good as them. But also, I feel like until I look more like a leading man and I drop Wade after Farley and until people start giving me more opportunities to do something different and not just play dark ne'er-do-wells, I wonder if that's –

I don't know that I'll ever feel that way, obviously. Okay. Well, if my categorizing helps at all. By the way, by the way, my favorite actors, we talked about it earlier with Sam Rockwell and Michael Shannon. Most of my favorite actors are not the guys on the cover of People and everything. It's funny you say that because I don't think you need that necessarily to lose weight and look like a certain way. Well, I want to lose weight so I don't die at 70. But on top of that, selfishly, I'm also like, maybe I'll, you know.

It reminds me of, I saw once, I forget where I saw it, but someone said like, I like how we invented a phrase that just describes good actors rather than people who got the job because they're hot. There's obviously some truth to that.

But yeah, no, the guys I grew up loving were not freaking all-star hot dudes. They were Phil Hoffman, Paul Giamatti, Michael Shannon, Sam Rockwell. Regular dudes. Peter Sarsgaard. And now the guys that still – oh, Sarsgaard's so amazing. It's incredible. And the guys that I'm continually impressed with are still sort of like normal looking, not ungood looking, but normal looking actors like Mahershala Ali, Mads Mikkelsen from Another

Round. Oh, yeah. Who's the guy I just worked with? Stephen Graham. You guys know Stephen Graham? No. Oh, my God. Stephen Graham.

He's so good, man. He's been in a lot of gangs in New York, Boardwalk Empire. I saw him in a movie called Boiling Point. It's one single shot. Oh, yeah. I know this guy. He's great.

He's following a kitchen crew on an important night in the restaurant he's he's brilliant yeah but once again these are not guys on the cover of people you're not winning uh sexiest man alive right do you think we i'm thinking about it now like current era i feel like we have pretty actors but i feel like like when we were growing up you had to have abs and pecs and like like a lot of the guys i think you're right it was more constructed that like you were jack like mcconaughey we talked about like people more jack whereas now you have like lordy and and chalamet and butler who are obviously not like they're pretty they're handsome good-looking people but they're not like

they don't look like a gi joe in a case no no. No. No, I think the G.I. Joe guys are, you know, Jeremy Allen White got into very serious shape. They're not until they are. And then it's like, oh, shit, you can do that too, huh? But they've still got Channing Tatum, Gosling. But those guys are also multi-talented too. But they're also, I think they're probably all in their mid-40s, right? I think of them more as our generation rather than new guys.

I think the guys that make the most noise are guys that just do the the work in general i think chalamet does the work yeah i think uh paul dano does the work jesse plemmons every time i see him pop up i'm like grateful every time i see plumbers i don't recognize him every time he pops up he looks like a completely different person yeah his weight fluctuates he's got some christian bail in his body yeah no i but I love what I do. I'm so spoiled. And you guys love what you're doing, your freaking dream job, or at least one of them, amongst other things you want to try.

And I would encourage people, and maybe this is obvious, but I'll say it for those that don't know it's obvious. I'm not special. I'm just someone who worked really hard at what they loved and they didn't give up. And one day God said, Eastwood's going to call you and offer you Richard Jewell. Was that the breaking?

Was that the, uh, like the breakout role? Yeah, I think, I think I taught, I think I did a show called kingdom, which was about MMA fighters.

That was kind of my, like earning my associate's degree my bachelor degree was kind of like itania through richard jewel yeah and suddenly people know your face yeah they don't know your name but they know your face yeah and then because still to this day people don't know my name they're like oh you're that guy you're the bomber yeah we're at an airport can you not say the fucking bomber please but uh but i think with blackbird it was like i started my first year now in my master's program and it's like the next four or five years i'm trying to earn my master's degree doing these other projects and eventually

producing and directing you know and so now you're doing what uh eric bischoff's one shot i am that is dude mlw uh i was just doing a interview with bischoff and i bischoff's one shot. I am. That is. MLW. I was just doing an interview with Bischoff and I. Bischoff is, you know, I mean, the Monday Night Wars. I mean, he was there right there, neck and neck with Vince McMahon. Obviously, Vince is the name that like Eric Bischoff was that dude. Incredibly influential. Yeah.

Great mind for the business for sure. And and I was just kind of like egging him on. like the one of the main things i wanted to ask him and i i was just like would you ever do this again like why don't you because he talks so much about what he doesn't like in wrestling yeah it's like then do something do the thing that you know how to do so well and he hasn't done it so i it was funny that it just kind of organically came together. Corp Bauer immediately was like, yeah, I listen to his podcast all the time. Let's do it. It became a thing very quickly.

They had a graphic up like hours later. It was hilarious. It's funny. I was doing some research for this podcast, and I was driving home back to New York yesterday from Massachusetts, where I'm from, and I was like, I'll listen to a podcast. And I was driving, or I was at a red light, and I just typed Paul Walter Hauser into Spotify and just clicked play on the first podcast that popped up. And the second, I don't really know Eric Bischoff, the second he started talking, I went, this is a wrestling podcast. I forget exactly what it was called but it was uh and you also have

the wrestling voice too where it's like it could go football it could go wrestling the voice yeah yeah oh this is a wrestling voice all day yeah much much to my own insecurity and detriment yeah this is a wrestling voice if it was if it was a football voice it would have to sound more sure of itself and and a and a little more masculine. There's a little bit of a back-of-the-throat Muppet voice going on here too. You're not going to hear that on Rich Eisen's show. Man, you do it all, dude. You're unbelievable.

I would say good luck, but I don't think you need it, man. I think you're working hard enough and it's all going your way for a reason. So long as I stay sober and I'm accountable to my wife and kids and my loved ones, I think everything will fall into place. And for anybody watching who's like, you do all this stuff, just you do all this stuff. Like nothing is stopping you. Just get weird and love yourself enough to pursue something. Get weird and love yourself is words

to live by, man. Grab the bottle, a lotion, get weird and love yourself. That's such a perfect note to end on. I hate that I have two more quick questions. No, say it. One. Grab the Cetaphil. Sorry. You know I didn't use Cetaphil for a long time

because it sounded too... It sounds like prescription or something like that. I didn't use Cetaphil for a long time because it sounded too... It sounds like prescription or something like that. Medicine-y? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, I can't use that. That's good enough. Sounds like you're contracting something the moment you turn the thing and it pops up. I was like, I'm going to end up in the hospital if I use this.

It's like, I go dry. But your child, I believe it was your son, Harris? Yeah. First acting debut at five weeks old. Yeah. I'd always wondered where they get infants in movies and TV shows. Are they usually- They buy them.

They have a basement of them in Hollywood. Let's not feed that story to mine. Are they usually someone on set or one of the actors? Are they usually someone's kid? Because a toddler can act, but I always think an infant is you don't really they're not going out for roles i i know i think i think it's about approximation to someone in production okay where it's like oh my my my friend janine just had her baby eight weeks ago we need a newborn let's we can make that work okay uh for me it was my wife was strolling by a production office with our son three weeks

after he was born just seeing producer buddies of hers and the producers were just like we actually need a baby for the movie and uh and my my son is a boy but played a girl in the scene with josh dumel and uh eliza uh cuthbert. Alicia Cuthbert. Alicia Cuthbert. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And, like, my wife was there watching behind the monitor, and Mel Gibson was there playing a supporting role, and he's like, man, that baby photographs well. It's a beautiful child.

My wife is like, this is it. It's in the bloodline. Is there money involved for that? Oh, I don't even know if we got paid for it. But if you were to put your kids up for an audition or whatever, would you get paid for something like that? Or is it never like that? I think so. Yeah, I think in usual circumstances, yeah.

I'm going to start paying for that. Like in my movies. Start earning your rent, kids. Get out there. Ron Howard and some of these guys put their family members in their movies all the time. And part of it is like they're going to have SAG insurance because they did two movies a year for every year. So, you know, whatever.

So I'm sure I'll be throwing my kids or family members and stuff to the way Samuel does it. Literal Nepo, baby. And honestly, it's just it's the idea of having fun. When you go make your movies and you're successful enough to make your movies, you throw in your cousin steve and i won't give a crap right i'll be very happy for cousin steve and then the second question i had and this is a very quick one but the i saw the behind the scenes of you on sunny and i don't know how i've been talking that episode's gone now i don't know if you remember seeing paul and sunny because he's a juggalo. Right. But it seemed like they were kind of letting you riff and whatnot, and that was your first ever role.

First ever televised TV role. Televised TV role. What was that like? Because you were a Sonny fan, you said, right? Yeah, big time. I was going to a tiny college in Oak Park River Forest, Illinois, called Concordia. And it was one of those Christian colleges like if you're a pastor's kid and you got a's b's c's and d's you

can get in or whatever um and i went and stopped going to class and became friends with key and peel before they were keen peel mad tv had gotten canceled and i was repped for screenwriting out in la so their manager was like do you want to write the script for canceled and i was repped for screenwriting out in la so their manager was like do you want to write the script for them so i was like getting wasted and partying and writing a movie for keen peel and i dropped out of school and was just living on campus and eating off my meal plan and uh hell yeah and just chilling and while there wait what was the question this all added up to something Who cares about the question

No no the question was What was like being I think what was like being On Sunny Oh Sunny So but But around that time This is

We're talking March April of 2009 I was Watching It's Always Sunny Drinking Keystone Light With my buddies

In our underwear Like sitting on the floor Of somebody's Dorm Yeah A year later I'm auditioning for the show In LA And I book it drinking Keystone Light with my buddies in our underwear, like sitting on the floor of somebody's dorm. A year later, I'm auditioning for the show in LA, and I book it. And suddenly you're getting paid five grand to do four or five scenes at a show

with your comedy heroes at that time. So it was gnarly. And this is a great thing to end on because it's prevalent to what's happening now. On that show, I was very reverential to those guys, but I followed my instincts and I improvised without getting permission. I'm good enough to hang with these guys, right? Once again, trying to prove that you're good enough to hang and you can dribble the ball with Jordan. And it worked out and they liked that I was improvising and invited it, and it made them break character once or twice.

I was going to say, in the behind, they're dying. There are other outtakes they don't show. They're like, it was me making Charlie laugh or him making me laugh. You also look. You're a big guy, but you're not a big guy. You look so much bigger than Charlie. I'm massive. That was me when I was like 325, 330.

I'm down to about 265 right now but that's the plan after Farley I plan to take it all off Chris Pratt style it's all coming off all coming off what's the Fantastic Four role

yeah so the director of that episode of Sunny remembered me from It's always sunny and saw me in itania and saw me in blackbird and maybe two or three other things and uh and he offered me a part in fantastic four so i'm in that movie i can't talk about what the involvement is per se but um but it's in a capacity where i mean i'm in at least part of the movie. And it's from the comic books, like a character that's been established. And I'm really proud of what we did in the short time I was on that set. You know, the main, main characters were there for months and months.

And it's a huge undertaking. Huge. And I got to come in and play and do my thing. And I really had a blast. Matt Shackman is such a supportive director, and that cast and that script and the production design, everything I got to see and be a part of made me think this is one of the more special superhero offerings.

Really? I think I get to be in a good one, like a really good one. Any one of these things we've talked about today Would probably be like a career definer Or a high point, high peak High water And you're doing like all of them in a couple years span It's amazing dude

Naked Gun, Pete Farrelly Springsteen and Fantastic Four It's just stupid But that's what I mean when I say like self amusement I didn't a lot of these products fell into my lap yeah somebody fell out of the liam neeson naked gun thing yeah but you're there you know it's the old so it's like it is that thing of just be ready you know yeah it's like you don't know what's gonna happen and for me it's like peter pan syndrome on steroids

it's like i'm swimming through the scrooge mcduck of like toy bins or something did fairly mention and this is i promise this will be the last thing did i because i just read this the other day about the other new movie he's working on i play rocky movie yeah that's that's his next one with that interesting dude so i just read this dude true story it's called i play rocky is the movie that fairly is. And it's about the making of Rocky. Right. And so fucking badass. So Stallone, I'd heard about him doing softcore porn before, but I didn't know he was homeless

living at Penn Station when he wrote Rocky. And he was so poor that he had sold his dog. And then he writes Rocky. Like a country music song worth of attrition. Yeah. And he takes it to the studio He writes Rocky Takes it to the studio

Studio says We love this We'll give you 20 grand You fuck off Because Burt Reynolds plays Rocky And Stallone said No I play Rocky I play Rocky

And he was homeless Sold his dog He's so poor Got offered $20,000 In what Early 80s Mid 80s Whenever Rocky was

Yeah And For inflation That'd be like 75, 80,000 And then he goes then they go they go fine we'll give you 50 and then you fuck off and he goes no i play rocky and they got to 350 grand i think it was and they said and now fuck off and he went nope i play rocky

so then they got him to agree to this contract that was basically a contract no one can fulfill like it was like if you fall one day behind on shooting, you're off the project. And we're giving it to Burt Reynolds. And he goes, fine. Trying to set him up for failure. Right. He goes, deal. And then the first day they made him film all of the running scenes in Rocky.

So the first day he ran 18 miles. Dehydrated. Ended up in the hospital. In the first week, too, part of that story, too, is he had to punch the meat, the meat hanging from the meat locker, and it wasn't thawed out, so his hands were just bleeding and cut up and broken. And because of the schedule, they didn't have time to thaw. They were like, maybe we can get some blow dryers, but it'll take a few hours.

We don't have time. I'll just hit it. Broke both his hands. An underdog story. Literally Rocky. Yeah. I think the Farre fairly quote i read um with some of the lines of like in the movie rocky he doesn't win the fight but he survives the fight

and that's what i thought was the coolest and that's what stallone did on on the set yeah wow i'm excited for that it's gonna be spent i think it'll be another green book for him where it'll get a lot of the the kind of attention you. And I think also like Pete Farrelly is a human. Hopefully you get to meet him someday. He'd be a great interview. Which Farrelly did I meet? Was it Peter or his brother? Oh, that's right.

You were at a wedding with one. Bobby is the other one. I can't remember. I just remember being. Are they New England guys? Sorry to interrupt. I think so. That's why.

That's why. Everything's always based on these. Providence, Rhode Island. They're Providence boysimbledon guys. Sorry to interrupt. I think so. Everything's always been that. I used to go to Providence, Rhode Island. They're Providence boys. I think I was in Massachusetts or Connecticut, I think. And I heard whispers that one of the Farrelly brothers was there. And he came up to me and was like, oh, I love Barstool. And I've seen some of your work.

And I was like, what? What, dude? You're one of the Farrelly brothers desperately want to make love to a school boy my favorite line in dumb and numbers it was exactly that man no but that but that man, he's the sweetest dude ever. And so is Wahlberg. That was like an embarrassment of riches working on that movie. I cannot wait for people to see it.

And while we were shooting it, I had all these moments where I'm like, is this good? Like I couldn't tell. Yeah. And I was second-guessing myself a lot. More so when you star in something if i come in and i do a supporting role a lot of the pressure's off yeah i know how to do this thing i'm gonna come in pew pew pew leave yeah but when you're carrying a movie or co-carrying it's way

scarier yeah uh and and by the end of it pete fairley was like just come over to my place and watch some footage. You haven't watched a single bit of footage, which was by design. I'm like, I don't want to get in my head. I don't want to say yes. Yeah, sure. And then we watched it, and he showed me like 40 minutes of the movie, rough cut. And me and my wife and my manager and my agent were laughing our heads off.

Really? It was so funny. It was such a great feeling. So I feel, Oh God, it's like, I got to not get cocky about it. Cause it just was literally what felt like a throwback comedy. It felt like wedding crashers, dumb and dumber, not modern comedy,

which is sometimes anti-comedy. But Pete Fairley got to get him on the show. He's the sweetest guy. If somebody has a problem with Pete Fairley, they have a problem. They're the problem. Well, thanks so much, man. You're obviously a busy dude.

We appreciate the time. This was great. No, thanks for putting me over here. December 5th, right? MLW? December 5th, MLW, one shot, Eric Bischoff at the Melrose Ballroom in LIC. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's cool.

Come by, please. Appreciate it, man. That's cool. Come by, please. Appreciate it, man. Thanks so much. Thank you so much. Oh, and you can watch for free on YouTube. You can't make it. Everybody loves that. Great, man.

That was awesome. Thank you so much, Paul. សូវាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប� Thank you. Bye.