KFC Radio - Taylor Schilling, Celebrity Mugshots, and Kindergarden Monsters

Episode Date: September 29, 2020

Subscribe, Rate, and Leave a Review! -Spotify Employees are threatening to quit if Joe Rogan isn't censored. Is it a hoax marketing scheme? -Spider won a free 10k bet -A man was refused a kindergarten teaching job because of his tattoos -A woman is having trouble finding work as a doctor because she won the Ms Bum Bum contest -MGK's new album/Megan Fox -Top 5 Celebrity Mugshots -Voicemails include childhood trauma, too into porn, and positive social media -(01:35:00) Taylor Schilling returns to the show! We discuss her new anthology show Monsterland and what the scariest type of horror is. We also talk what Taylor wanted to be growing up, her strangest jobs as an actor, play Answer the Internet, and much more. Let us know what you think on twitter: @KFCRadio @KFCBarstool @FeitsBarstool @TaySchilling Subscribe to us on youtube for daily videos: youtube.com/c/kfcradioYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. We need to end this episode because I don't know what's going to come out of John's mouth next. It's just progressing down KFC Radio on the Barstool Sports Network. And my esteemed colleague, John Feidelberg, just moved from one piece of content over here, where he was puking on himself with a crowd of people watching.

It's become like appointment television. Absolutely. Feidelberg, like, will he or will he not puke should be a prop bet on the Barstool Sportsbook. Download the app today. They got all sorts of cool, like, fun props that Big Cat and the company are coming up with. I think we got to start making in-house ones,

and that should be one. Will Feidelberg throw from the latest lowering the bar at like what is it you know minus minus fucking 10 000 um it wasn't that bad again it's i thought this one was absolutely horrendous but the mere fact that this is what we do for work is insanity today i showed up to work. I played Jenga. Then I ate a sea cucumber. And now I'm recording a podcast. And you get paid handsomely to do so.

It is a wild world that we live in where that is – that's what the people want. It is. It also – it makes – it's almost sometimes you wish you were a coal miner. It's like when someone asks you, like, hey, can you wish you were a coal miner it's like like when someone asks you like hey can you do something at x time and like nah i can't i got jenga then yeah and it's like what are you talking about especially like jenga we we will do episodes on this very show like talking about mental health and like the anguish we go through and the stress we're going through and like the other day i was like venting to caitlin about like work and shit

and then you know she checked in on me and she was like how are you the other day I was like venting to Caitlin about like work and shit and then you know she checked in on me and she was like how are you doing today and I was like well today I played Jenga and I like that I'm feeling a little bit

better because I like playing Jenga so today we're good so yeah it does make it a little bit tough and definitely makes you feel like a man baby child

100% well I've been like I've never thought anything else I've always been it's been pretty written in the stars. It's been pretty apparent

for a long time. I was just talking about before the show when I was talking as a child my greatest aspiration was to live in a treehouse with my Barbie dolls.

And you basically are. Yeah, no, I got a little bit higher. This is a gigantic treehouse and it's not quite Barbie dolls but it's like little play things. Yeah, it's actually nice.

I don't have to live in my parents' backyard. You have a little autonomy with it. It's really the best of both worlds. A little freedom, a little privacy and adulthood here. But it is important to recognize when you have a good thing going and just kind of, you know, yeah, sure, you want some more money or you want some more respect or you want some more opportunities. Of course, everyone wants more and more and more. But it's also important to realize when you got a good thing going.

Yes. Speaking of getting a good thing going, I got to give a shout out to John from Bill Ricka. Cause he gave me this jacket and like, who is that? And what is that? Show the back. People understand exactly what it is.

Oh, wow. Well, um, well, like an official coach, Taylor, John from,

what are you saying? Bill Ricka, Ricka mass, Ricka mass, uh, where the fuck is mine? I thought it was a thing for you for a reason it's just a kfc radio i think who only sent one i think he specified one thing i learned um but it is kfc radio he said he said both john from bill ricka yeah shout out mac twos john head over to Mac2s Play Store and get arrested Well, yeah, when you're getting sent

cool shit and you get to puke for money you should just kind of shut the fuck up and let a good thing happen If you're working at Spotify Spotify did the impossible in my mind. Spotify got me to change something. I was an Apple Music guy and I switched over to Spotify because I think it's far superior impossible in my mind spotify got me to change something i went i was an apple music guy and i

switched over to spotify because i think it's it's far superior at least for music i don't think for podcasts but for music and then now they're making their big play into podcasts and they did joe budden and then they go and do joe rogan and i would imagine things it's pretty good like the eaton's pretty good at spotify right now and i imagine the future is even brighter and these people who are threatening to walk out because of joe rogan i mean you better be the full story to me and the listeners okay so so joe rogan started he went spotify exclusive on september 1st we're like three weeks into this shit and it's a fucking nightmare september 1st he brings all of his platform, audio and video, to Spotify. So Spotify carries the video?

Yes. You can still get the 10-minute clips on YouTube, which is what a lot of people watch anyway. But if you want to watch the full three-hour show, video is on Spotify and the audio is exclusive to Spotify. You better have your fucking phone plugged in. Yeah, I actually don't even know. I don't know how I would watch the video on Spotify.

Maybe if you pull it up, it's easy. But audios is... Is it? I feel like I just listened to a Joe Rogan podcast on iTunes. I must have listened to a backlog. It might have been October 1st. For some reason, September surprised me. Because I definitely just listened to Whitney Cummings and Joe Rogan

and Annie Letterman on there. So the Joe Rogan experience... No. Yeah. and joe rogan and and annie linderman on um on there so the joe rogan experience no yeah so it just says it's out i must have had my secret down oh no there it is okay so yeah i don't know it may be it may be it's in the process of happening i thought it for sure already did happen because otherwise what would this stink be but anyway um immediately when they start transferring over the backlog all of the episodes involving his right-wing conservative guests are not uploaded so like alex jones milo uh i guess there's jordan peterson i think is not a crazy person he's just a conservative it's kind of fucked up right you're getting to the

point where like if you're a, you're like a Nazi. And it's like, some people are just conservative and those episodes just mysteriously were not uploaded and everyone's like, oh my god, Spotify is censoring Joe Rogan. Then, a couple weeks later, Joe Rogan does a podcast where he's talking about the protests in Oregon and he says that

protesters were setting things on fire, which I guess was not true. Right. There definitely are protesters lighting things on fire, which I guess was not true. Right. But, I mean, there definitely are... I saw that. Right. There definitely are, like, protesters lighting things on fire,

but I think that what he specified and where he specified... He was saying starting forest fires. Oh, okay. So that definitely isn't happening. And he put out a video apologizing, saying, I read it. I read a headline.

I didn't fact check it. I usually do. I ran with it. My bad. That was stupid. I take this very seriously. I don't know whether he would do that or not. He does take it seriously, and I could see him.

He's the type of guy who is, like, hand up. Like, I fucked up, you know? What I really do like about Joe Rogan, he definitely has his values and his, he definitely, I think, like, leans right politically and has made his points and his opinions clear. But he's very open to having a discussion with anybody. And he's always like, I'm not married to my ideas. He referenced this in that same episode I was watching with Whitney Cummings. He referenced this archaeologist talking to a geologist. And the archaeologist said, like, the Sphinx is from 5,000 years ago.

And this geologist said, you know, we're looking at, like, some erosion in the sand that would show that this is, like, 12,000 years old. And this guy, like, laughed years old and this guy like laughed in his face and was like you're an idiot and it turned out to be true and it was like rather than just being like excited like oh my god i can't like there's a new revelation in my field he was so married to like the way he had done it and and and he's like i never want to be that way which i think is one of the most the most admirable thing on the internet right now because we always say like nobody can just be like oh shit i was wrong right and so even if he leans away you don't agree with the point is joe rogan will always have the discussion and is willing to like think about it and talk about it

so i my point being i think he would have made that like may a couple video anyway but it does i've never seen him do that before and the spotify thing is looming so he put out the video saying sorry and now recently the most recent thing is looming. So we put out the video saying sorry. And now recently, the most recent thing is that Spotify employees are threatening to quit and or like stage a strike and a walkout if they don't have like censorship and editorial control over his podcast. What they want to do is either

be able to edit old episodes so they could go back and take that part out, which that sounds, you know, like an effective thing. But, you know, like that opens up Pandora's box. If all of a sudden we're going to be able to just go change old episodes, you know, like an effective thing. But, you know, like that opens up Pandora's box if all of a sudden we're going to be able to just go change old episodes. You know what I mean? What level are these people?

So let me just explain and then we'll get to that. They either want to be able to edit old episodes, like have say over new episodes and what goes out. Or they want to put like trigger warnings in the episodes and in the descriptions. And then have links this actually i don't think it's too bad how they want to have links to fact-checked articles that reference like the conversations being had i think that would actually be good for every show yeah if like we talked about something and it's like if you want to read up more on this here yeah someone wants to do that that's fine go ahead probably wrong go ahead um that's what i don't know i if

i had to guess i bet there's like five employees at spotify who are like making us think about this some reporter gets wind of it and it's like i'm gonna run with this for my own headlines because the world fucking sucks because i let me say this i it better be that because i was getting to the point where i was like is this all one elaborate scam is this like a marketing scheme because all i hear about now is Joe Rogan and Spotify, Joe Rogan and Spotify, Joe Rogan and Spotify. And all of the issues being argued about are things that I would imagine

are the very first things you talk about in an agreement like this. Before you talk about money and length and all that shit, you would say like, do I have control? Can you edit it? And Joe Rogan's that type of dude who would be like obsessive over that. So I would have to imagine that Joe Rogan and the people who matter at Spotify are completely on the same page.

For a $100 million deal, some rumored to be $100 million a year, I think we would have had this hammered out real fucking quick. Yeah, we gave you $100 million. We forgot to discuss editorial control. Like, no fucking chance. We forgot to discuss creative control. Like, no fucking chance. We forgot to discuss creative control. I threw on my tinfoil hat today, literally, and I said it would make more sense to me that this would be a conspiracy theory, guerrilla marketing thing than that having not been discussed. So I think it's more like – and then so I started thinking about it. I was like, how could this possibly be? But then I brought it, like, in-house.

Like, whenever I'm trying to figure things out, I, like, apply it here. Like, Dave went on and did that shit with trump and like at the top level or of everybody who matters it was all kind of agreed upon and there were employees here who didn't like it but that doesn't mean that like barstool as a whole was like revolting against dave the way that spotify is like being characterized now right it's like tyler and a few other people didn't like it we unfortunately lost somebody to that i'm sure a few other people had their opinions about it well ty i feel like tyler you know oh i thought that was the nail that was before i thought i thought tyler before whatever maybe i was okay yeah i think you're actually right yeah okay but my point being all of that

the trump thing and everything that was going on with dave was like you know there can be people out of company who don't co-sign what's going on. That doesn't mean that they really have any control or say over what's about to happen. But I think if I'm a journalist, a blogger, whoever, I don't even know what outlet is writing these stories. But they're probably like, oh, Spotify is threatening to quit over Joe Rogan. That's the bigger bullshit in all of this. Yeah. That's the ultimate clickbait. That's the fuck the classic people are.

People are saying. Who? What people? Right. I'm not saying name names, but give numbers. How many people are saying who what people right? I'm not saying name names, but like give numbers. How many how many people are saying or or like it could be one or two people. But is it like the CEO and CFO? Is it the people who like make the technology run at Spotify?

Because if those guys leave, you know, is it anybody who if they were to leave Spotify would be like, oh, shit, we're fucked. Because then I would be fascinated if Spotify was like, we have a hundred million dollar deal with like the dude. But like these guys are like the most brilliant coders we have or something what do you do you know then then you can find more coders i would imagine i would certainly imagine but um but it's you know maybe you can find them but it's like fuck i don't want to have to you know so then you're like hey joe can we maybe like tone it down i also think there's an element of he i think the big thing people talking about the the oregon thing and alex jones and all them he had somebody on uh to talk like lgbtq issues and he he's you know like if there's tampons in the men's bathroom he's kind of like this is

fucking ridiculous and he's not like hateful about it but that's where he falls and i think that is actually what's creating more issues than the alex jones and milo episodes people are kind of focusing on that but i think it's more of like an lgbtq thing going on right now but like i mean again in my mind it's like context and intent like matter like joe rogues not a hateful dude you know he he does i think skew conservative he's pretty like you know old school and macho in some ways with this shit, but I don't think he's like, fuck gay people. You know what I mean?

So I mean, if it, but I don't think any of this matters because I would be willing to bet that the people who matter are like, we know exactly what Joe Rogan is and was. We know exactly what the deal is. And like everything we agree to is going just as we planned. I wonder what that's like for the lower people or for whoever it is who's saying they might leave. Just, like, the concept of principles is pretty foreign to me. Or the confidence to—

Like, I want to sacrifice a paycheck? Yeah. In this climate? In a pandemic? Even not even mildly. Like, there are plenty of things that happen that I disagree with, and I'm just like, ah, it sucks. Right.

More foreign to me is this level of self-worth where you think you matter enough. Oh. Well, it's interesting to say within these walls because it's a bit of a pandemic at Barstool Sports. Yes, you're right. you're right self-importance you're right before from people who don't before before you got in here there was someone in here being like i'm gonna fucking fight everybody it was a woman and she's like everyone thinks

they're fucking important and i was like four people who are who would have thought yeah i mean everybody's celebrating what's the word anniversaries every two minutes. It's my six-month anniversary. It's my nine-month anniversary here at Barstool Sports. Everybody's got an anniversary. Everybody deserves the best guests. Everybody deserves full control, the best promotion, the best time slots, the this, the that. And it's like almost exclusively none of you matter.

It's down to like two people, you could argue. I mean, I don't even, I can't, there are things, there's nothing that I think I could, like, threaten where they'd be like, okay, like, we'll listen to you. Yeah. You know, I think, I think they would tell me to take a walk, and I think that, like, a bunch of dickheads at Spotify will certainly be told to take a walk over Joe fucking Rogan.

It's not even up for debate. It's just like that's what's happening. I would hope. Someone on our fucking practice squad is upset that Cam Newton wore a blue jacket. Okay. See you later. See you the fuck later, man. Someone is upset that Joey Bosa voted for a Republican.

He's a mad guy. Guess what? He's a fucking monster on the field. See you later. You do not matter. So I think if Spotify wanted to, like, again, I don't think any of this matters, but I feel like Spotify, for, like, the Joe Rogan crowd, if you're going to go, you're putting your eggs in that basket, you know, I feel like they should be, like, publicly say that.

Like, be like, all right, you can walk then. And win a lot of fucking people. You can't publicly say that. That you can, that you can, you don't think you can say that. Be like, alright, you can walk then. And win a lot of fucking favor. You can't publicly say that. That you can... You don't think you can say that? I don't think you'd win a lot of favor. I think you'd be like, we can hear you. People just don't like black and white.

Or everything is black and white. And it's just like... Yes, that's exactly what they should do. See you later. Go get another job. I don't care. It sucks that you can't say that, though. I would be like, yo, we thought about all this. We've talked about all this.

We are smarter than you. We made the move. And now you are publicly... In my mind, Spotify is like a laughingstock right now. It's not going to affect them in any way, but I feel like people right now are like, Spotify, like, fuck off. I would be like, shut your goddamn, over this? Yes.

I don't think anybody's on Spotify's side. I think everybody is like, this is ridiculous. So why is everyone saying Spotify, fuck off then? Because, I mean, like, those employees. Oh, yes, yes. I thought you were talking about Spotify. You're saying Spotify, but you mean the employees, like, you guys can see later. Yes, but I think overall,

to me, it is because the headlines are saying Spotify, I am smart enough to be like, it's some little fucking crew sitting in the corner, but I'm sure there are people who are just like broad strokes, like as we do, black and white, Spotify is snowflakes and anti-Rogan

and blah, blah, blah, blah, you know? So, I mean, I wish you would be able to be like shut the fuck up because you're making us look stupid right now and you don't know what you're talking about but I guess yeah not in this world I mean I guess if you can't even fucking do a podcast you certainly can't be like drawing lines in the sand like that but it's

like yeah go ahead I mean I guess Pat did the research and it said that Spotify employees make like on average between 120 and 130000 a year. So it's a pretty good gig right now to just walk out on and go ahead. Yeah, go sell fucking podcast ad sales elsewhere. Right. Go do your fucking – come work here probably.

We'll take you probably. Yeah, you probably won't like us. And you can come here and you can be self-important with the rest of it. Imagine leaving Spotify for Barstool Sports because you were mad about Joe Rogan podcast. I don't know if that's

really the career path. That's not the move. That's at best a lateral move. And come on down and you can pretend. I mean, in my mind, there are four people

who matter at Barstool Sports. Dave Portnoy, of course. Big Cat, Partner in Crime. Eric Bernardini, taking it to the next level. And Spider. Dan DiIorio, Spider HQ. Clap it up!

Yo, when he was like, yeah, yeah! I mean, he turned into the fucking meme with that guy ringing the bell. Spider, this weekend, if you weren't paying attention, the Barstool Sportsbook is out. Everybody's placing bets. Everybody's having a good time. And Dave, the puppet master of this whole thing, he

says, Spider, I'll give you $10,000. I'll place a $10,000 bet for you, and it's yours. He didn't say for you. He just said, Spider, who you like, I'm placing a $10,000 bet. But then he did specify. He told him after. Yeah. But it was I think it was after Spider made his pick, though. Okay, so I

heard this. I'm sitting there. We were sitting watching, and I heard them say that Spider is supposed to be making a pick. And my one rule here is I don't give anybody picks. A, because I don't know what I'm talking about, and nobody would ever come to me in the first place. But B, then you're on the hook, and if you win, nobody cares, and if you lose, it's all your fault.

But then I heard one of the guys go, yeah, Spider is beaming, his face lit up. And I was like, why? I need to talk to this kid right now, because is, you know, he's beaming his face lit up. And I was like, why? Like, I need to talk to this kid right now because I don't think he understands what's going on. And then I heard it's because Dave's actually going to give him the winnings. And, you know, for Spider, who's, how old is Spider? Do you know, Nick?

He's probably like 24. 23 or so. 23, 24. You know, 10 grand. It's a life-changing amount of money. Life-changing. No, no, no. Life-changing. In the moment. Yes. For the next, you know, year or, it's a life-changing amount of money. Life-changing? No, no, no, life-changing. In the moment.

Yes. For the next, you know, year or the next few months. I believe it's significantly more than his net worth. Yes. Yes. Probably. And so he places a bet, you know, Bucs, Broncos under, did not look like it was going to hit, had no business hitting,

and then threw. I think the halftime score was 28-10. They scored five points in the second half. Yeah. Yeah. So it was like 23... It was probably 20... They scored five points in the second half, which is weird. It was a sack. So what is it? It must have been 23-10

and then 28-10? Yeah, that would make sense. And the under hits... And then he's given the offer to go double or nothing. What would you have done with that? So he could have walked away with $10,000, or he could have pocketed two from the winnings on the first bet and gone double or nothing with that $10,000 to hopefully make $20,000.

I would have probably walked as well. You think? I think I would have let it roll. Really? If it was $10,000 or nothing, I would have taken the 10. If I'm 23 years old on a whim out of nowhere on a day, I had no expectations. I've already made two grand. And I mean, put this and then so I if I can pocket two and then potentially make 20 and

have my rent covered for like the year, I'm going to go do that strictly because you have to think about it like this. How many days in your life are you going to wake up and have a 100 millionaire offer to just place $10,000 bets for you? Never. Never. I think I'm going to try to milk that forever. Now, the only thing that is smart, like it had to be a bet that night, and it was really only Sunday night football and

the Celtics game so like he you know he liked the Celtics and the Saints and so he would have he would have lost either of the bets he was gonna pick so he can rest his head easy now I I'm surprised he thought I thought the Celtics had no shot last night and that would have probably been my bet and I would have driven me fucking insane had I walked on it and then my bet hit. Yeah, that's true. It's so much easier to say in hindsight. But I really do think if I could have already taken two grand and then let it roll, not only for the content too. He's already the king.

But another live stream of him sweating it out. Potentially walk away with 20. You do great work promoting the app for your boss. And it's like you're just never going to have that opportunity again. Or I don't know, maybe Dave does it again next week. Who fucking knows what Spider-Man is. I don't think he's going to do it with Spider-Man. I think Dave should keep doing that. But you've got to do it like

first of all, the reason why it really worked is because like I said, Spider-Man is the most important person here. Everybody loves him. He does so much grinder work and everybody loves him. Without a doubt, the most well-liked person here. 100%. Maybe it's him and Za, I think. Or one, two. Because they both just do they just do things to help. They only add value.

They're not one of these people running around celebrating their fucking anniversaries. They'll book your tickets. They'll buy you your shit. Spider gets me weed. I don't know if I'm supposed to say that. Like everybody they are just good people who do good things for you and so you always want to give back. And I mean

the whole world, I saw Trent tweet that right away the entire world is now rooting for this under there was not one person out there that was like fuck that spider kid, I don't want him to make free money it is, it is like, it's impressive at a company where everyone you know, there's a little chippiness everywhere, not chippiness, competitiveness

with everything, everyone is just like finding a way to kind of disparage someone else. Spider's just the fucking king. Spider's like, yep, that's my guy. My king. He deserves it. He deserves two, he deserves ten, he deserves twenty. I think they should keep doing that with like

employees who don't typically gamble. Yeah. Because then it's like a first time rush. Yeah. Holy shit. You want to talk about making a gambler. Oh, maybe that looks pretty fun and then but spider i did talk spider he said if dave had oh three one final one up liverpool um the uh spider had said if he said five so you can keep five walks for five he would have taken double nothing yeah yeah i mean that at that point you know now he could have got real crazy with it and start hedging and shit. You know what I mean?

Like, he could have placed his own bet. I don't know how much money he's got in his pocket to place a bet to offset a $10,000 or $20,000 bet. But, you know, you could get real interesting with it and start calling up some true degenerates and be like, you want in on some of this action, you know? But either way, just an electric moment for an electric kid. And that Fordham education coming out, him just taking the safe, safe bet. Yeah. Give me that 10 grand and walk away with it. It's so funny to see it in the moment too.

Like let it ride. And then he's like 15 seconds to fucking think about it. He's like, actually, I'm going to take it. I'm going to go home with it. Smart man. Great dude. And that's like anybody who buys bird dogs. You're smart.

You're smart, man. And you're great. And you're comfortable if you're rocking the bird dogs. Right now, everybody knows them for their shorts. But now they're getting into the pants game. Everybody knows they kidnapped the Lululemon designer. They rolled up to their house. It was a home invasion.

They rolled up with a van. They pulled the masks down. They broke into the house. And they tied up the whole family. They had fucking duct tape and guns to their head to say which one of you the fucking lululemon designer and the kids were like it wasn't me they knocked the kids out they're like it's not the fucking kids threw them in the basement lock them in there it's down to the home invasion down to the adults and there's the mom the dad and like a son who's like old enough that maybe panic room you know yeah yeah, and then there was a panic room.

And it actually turned out it wasn't any of the people in the living room. They go up against the wall and they're like, wait a minute, this is a fake wall. There's a panic room behind here. And Jared Leto had cornrows. He was there for some reason. Yeah, he was in the corner. He's actually part of Bird Dogs. He was one of the people kidnapping them. They realized that there was someone in the panic room.

It was the Lululemon designer. Kidnapped them from the panic room because they said, we're going to kill your children if you don't open the door to the panic room so they were like fuck we have to do it it turns out it was the grandma it was grandma lulu it was grandma lulu who she has the keys to uh to designing comfortable pants so they kidnapped them brought them back to the bird dogs factory and now they're making the most comfortable pair of pants ever and you know what grandma l Lulu came up with? Underwear in the pants. Revolutionary. You don't have to wash your underwear.

It's less laundry. It's more comfortable. It's easy peasy. So they've got the comfortable shorts, the comfortable pants, and the revolutionary underwear in there, the stretch, the material, and the look. They're comfortable, but they're also stylish. And best case of all, best scenario, the best part of all, is when you go to birddogs.com

and you use promo code KFC, you will get a free pair of nunchucks. So if there's a home invasion, you can fight them off. Yes, when you inevitably get the job as Lululemon designer to fill this person's shoes. You don't need a panic room like a pussy. You just fight them off with the nunchucks

in your comfortable pants. You'll be able to move because you're wearing the bird dogs pants and you'll be able to kill them with the nunchucks. So no kidnapping and comfortable pants. It's a win-win. Go to birddogs.com. Enter promo code KFC.

You get the free pair of nunchucks and the most comfortable pants in the world. All right, we mentioned Spider, who's got the greatest gig of all time, and the Spotify employees, who should probably just shut up and continue with their cushy jobs. But it's not all roses out there. It's not all sunshine and rainbows for people in the employment world uh what was the first one i got the the the the the butt girl who's the other one uh guy covering completely right and what job did he lose teacher yes

kindergarten teacher it's it ain't sunshine and rainbows particularly for teachers who will like you to you know teachers teachers act like they stormed the beaches of Normandy every Saturday, every, every September when it comes time to go back to school. It's, it's the Normandy invasion. It is like they're in Nam and they're doing tours of duty. I mean, this is one of the more unpopular takes on the internet. I feel like, in fact, I don't even think it's the take on the internet. What? The teachers suck?

Shut up, teachers. I think that's coming around. I think, I think people are starting to realize. Now, it's funny because I go back and forth because when I'm around my kids and I'm taking them to school, I'm like, here you fucking go. And anybody who puts up with these monsters should get paid a billion dollars a year.

But I do believe that. But you should just shut the fuck up about it because it's... Well, squeaky wheel against the oil. Yeah, absolutely. So maybe maybe they've got the plan. Maybe they got it all figured out. But when you get the vacations and everything off and and then you walk around acting like you, you know, save the world as we know it.

Just shut the fuck up. And again, keep your cushy job. Just be quiet. You get your pension, get a good paycheck and you get months of the year off every fucking year. I don't think you get a good paycheck. I think that's – I think it depends on where – I mean, I know teachers who make six figures in, like, you know, cushy, like, suburban towns in New York. So it depends on where you are.

Yeah. I think it's always, like, one of those things where it's like, oh, we're not paying enough. My thing is always, like, we have to buy our own school supplies. I just don't. Just don't do that. Don't. Just don't do it. Hey, parents parents you have to get your kids school supplies there it is I don't need this place to look pretty you don't want to be here I don't want to be here

just learn and go I mean it's got to look pretty so I can get distracted from the lesson you're teaching but the I don't know just like once we start have a bake sale and we'll get the fucking that's how you buy your pencils and paper we'll get the paper with that sell some of my mom's, and we'll get the fucking paper. That's how you buy your pencils and paper. We'll get the paper with that. Yeah.

Sell some of my mom's cupcakes, and we'll get it with that. It's stopped. And it's actually come up again because of all the Trump stuff and his expenses and things like that. Taxes, yeah. His taxes, where teachers are only allowed to – what's the word I'm looking for here? Expense. Yeah, tax expense. Expense $250 a year of their own money

of supplies so anything over that they don't even it's on your own yeah you can't even do a tax rate and they said that Trump had $70,000 in hair

yeah I mean $750 in taxes is staggeringly low but it's also like those are the fucking rules yeah like I mean if it turns out

you're doing something illegal that's one thing if it's just like yo if I reinvest all my money I Like, I mean, if it turns out you're doing something illegal, that's one thing. If it's just like, yo, if I reinvest all my money, I don't have to pay taxes. Like, what do you expect me to do? Pay taxes when you don't have to? Everybody hates taxes. It doesn't matter how rich you are. You know?

It was $0, I think, 10 to 15 years, and then $750 a few years. That is stunningly low. It doesn't make any goddamn sense to me. I'm not a fucking IRS agent. I do feel like the IRS has taken note. There's a reason for that. I would hope that they change. I saw an interesting tweet that said they know that rich people can lawyer up and fight these things.

So they actually go after the poor people because they're like, you're just going to have to. You're just fucked. You'll just pay the taxes anyway. That makes sense. What a hellscape we live in. I mean, that is so grimy i mean it's like it's like when like you were younger and it was like thank you america's like you owe us money what do you mean i owe you money yeah you don't have money in your bank account yeah well how am i supposed to

fucking it's a little bit of a circular thing here you have somebody you can call up and just make demands like you own the place oh yo i'm not paying for any of this yeah like there's the uh what was i did it the other day for the first time it felt real big it was a while back anytime I say it was the other day within the last five years they're like okay we can get you a new card

it's going to be a $15 fee and usually I'd be like fine whatever and I was like no I'm not paying how about this they said to me I get my new card they go it'll be there within 7-10 business days I was like bro I need my card sooner than that. And they were like, but no, they didn't even try.

They were just like, they didn't try to be. They were just like, OK, we can send it express. I was like, well, then why would you do that at first? You motherfucker. How much could possibly cost? I mean, not much. 15 bucks. But they, but like, they're like, oh, OK, you'd like it free?

Yeah. Yes. I would like it free. And I didn't have to be like, we're also changing banks. But they were like, okay, we'll get it to you for free. We'll waive that charge. You just do that to people who don't have enough money to be like, okay, I can make some demands.

I could say, no. That's how the rich get richer and the poor get poorer. I have just a bajillion fraud charges on my American Express. Nothing crazy, but just like $10 in Uber and $50 in Target and San Diego. And they are like, your bill's late. You gotta pay your bill. And I was like, I'm not paying my bill

until we clear all this shit up. And they're like, we'll reimburse you for any charges that aren't yours. And I was like, no! No! I'm not gonna pay you on shit that I didn't spend and then just hope that you give me the money back. No! And they were like, okay. Alright, that makes sense. I was like, you're goddamn right it does!

Fuck off! The whole system is fucked. Anyway, the teachers. They're complaining. Blah, blah, blah, blah. This teacher, as far as complaining teachers go, he takes the cake. He is. I'm gonna get the full story up right now. Do you know where this was? Nope.

Let me get the full... This cat... I mean, if you're sick of teachers complaining about the job... Oh, he's French. Wait until you hear about teachers who are complaining when they don't have the job, because this is next level shit. A school teacher whose body... School teacher? School teacher whose body, face, and tongue are covered in tattoos and who has had the

eyes of his... Okay, let's start again. Just do it in normal ways. And who has had the whites of his... Okay, let's start again. Just do it in normal ways. And who has had the whites of his eyes surgically turned black. Holy shit. Said he was prevented from teaching at a French kindergarten. Kindergarten! After a parent complained he scared the children.

Look at this motherfucker! I thought, no matter what, I was like, you're one of these tattooed Ripley's Believe It or Not freaks. You don't get to work as a teacher. I thought it was going to at least be like maybe high school or something. This is a literal monster to a kindergarten kid. That is what is under your bed at night when you are five years old. Imagine that motherfucker sitting up there being like, all right, now here's how you make a five. Bro, I can't stop staring at you.

This is just next level thinking. He doesn't have to get fucking school supplies to decorate the classroom. Just look at me. That is a walking piece of art. Bro, that is, he is horrifying. That would scare me. He looks like every nightmare I've ever had

combined into one. He looks like, have you ever seen the movie Little Monsters with Howie Mandel? No. He's a monster in it, and that's what he fucking looks like. He just turned into an actual monster. Dude, I saw it on Guinness Book of World Records

when I was a young child. The most tattooed man in the world. He had his penis tattooed. He had everything tattooed. And I still, to this day, never... I was probably seven when I saw it. Like, that's the age I always say. And it's, like, I've never...

If he says the other day, it's within five years. If he says when I was a kid, it's between five and... It's just seven. Yeah, look, that's the movie I'm talking about. Look at him. that's i mean that's him put a fucking horn on that guy's head he's little monsters howie mandel i'm actually surprised he doesn't have horns with yeah they do they can you can do that now does he have you know i know that the guy who i dream of with tongue has he had the fork tongue that freaks me the fuck out what would you do if you took a girl home and she had a forked tongue just whatever just keep it good keep it moving right uh do sex with the hot lady kevin that's what i'd do yeah you would fuck a girl like this wouldn't you fuck a girl like that

head to toe tattoos that dude that's a lot but i i think she was hot what if like everything else was pretty i think you can't even discern if they're attractive or not i don't know what this guy looks what if her body was banging though she? She's got, like, long, nice hair. I think I draw a line with face tattoos. Neck, you can get up to the jawline. What about she's got some teardrop tattoos? Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, like, extensively. Yeah, listen, if you're a gang member who's murdered people and you're signifying them on your face,

no big deal. You're Chrissy Mac, you got a fucking cross or whatever she's got. Yeah. Or that might be someone else. What about, like, a head, she's got half the head shave and the head tattoo? Yeah. So we're okay with head tattoos, face tattoos.

No, head tattoos. See, you even get a little Freudian slip there. We're okay with head tattoos. What about, um... And stick and poke face tattoos. What about, um...

What about if it's like something cute, but it's like on your fucking forehead? Even worse. Yeah? Yeah. What about if it's just

a cross on your forehead? Nah. All right, what about everything else is fine? You can discern that she's super hot, because she doesn't have tattoos all over her body, but she just has face tattoos. No. What a fucking pussy you are. Face tattoos just weird me out, man. If this was 2009, I'd call you an F-word right now. That dude could

be a chick, and I'm just having sex with him, looking up at me like that? Yeah, that is true. You wouldn't know. That is an androgynous being right there. And you're surprised that little fucking Francois doesn't want to. Wait, but did he get fired from the job or just not allowed to have it? Okay, because I thought that sounded like he had it and then got fired. I was like, what are we doing, France? It's one of the more staggering things.

It's almost like it was a practical joke. The eyeballs. Like, his friends were like, you gotta go fucking. What about that? Hot girl, no tattoos on the face. Eyeballs are whatever color, though. Like a full color? Yeah, I could probably do that.

Black around the eyes. That could probably be, like, fun. I could do that. Like, this guy has, like, fucking religious symbols and stuff. I mean, this is psychotic. This is crazy. You look like a monster. I mean, this is psychotic. This is crazy. You look like a monster. I mean, an actual monster.

I can't believe that he even let him in the door. Right. It's like if I signed up for a job as a fucking Girl Scout. Here we go. Okay. I go in and I sit down and I go, not what we're looking for. Out of here. You're profiling.

No, man. No, no. Yes, I am profiling. In your coach's jacket here, you just look like a fucking suburban dad who's just a real prick. Yeah. Just a real asshole. I am.

I'm a real asshole. I won't let scumbags like this teach my kids. I go in there. I say, Mr. Principal, are you kidding me? You think fucking Rick? I love it when people say, Mr. Principal, are you kidding me, bro? Are you fucking kidding me? You think you're letting Tattoo Rick teach Francois how to fucking smoke cigarettes?

I think that's what you learn in French kindergarten. I don't know. And then you puff on it like it is. Oh, life is shit, kids. Like, that's all. Maybe this guy's a great teacher now that I think about it. He might be a fantastic guy I don't know. And then you puff on it like it is. Oh, life is shit, kids. Like, that's all. Maybe this guy's a great teacher now that I think about it. He might be a fantastic guy

for all we know. Like, in a French kindergarten? What if, okay, what about this? What if we learned, maybe not, who cares? French kindergarten, you learn how to mime, cut baguettes,

and smoke cigarettes. That's what it is. And surrender wars. That's it. That's all you get in France. What if, forget about teaching kindergarten kids because that doesn't even fucking matter.

What if this dude shows up at your job to be, as always, we always fall back on accountant. What if he's the most fire accountant in the world? Like he's going to find you, you're going to save a hundred grand a year for your company because he's like finding, you know, money elsewhere.

You think he gets a job? Yeah. Money. You think cash rules? Money talks. Yeah. We'll just put you in a fucking back room. What about if it's like some sort of, what about if it's a sales thing?

So it's frontward facing. Like you got to go into meetings looking like that. I don't think he gets that job. No. I mean, unless it's tattoo sales. Yeah. Well, this guy, I mean, let's call a spade a spade. This guy just needs to get into porn.

He needs to get what? Into porn. Oh, into porn. Yeah. Yeah. Some sort of fet porn. Oh, into porn. Yeah. Some sort of fetish. They're only fans. Whatever, you know? When you're doing this, at what point do you think you kind of be like, boy, I might be

making some real life altering decisions here? I would imagine, I mean, that's a lot of tattoos, right? That's got to take you years to do, right? Oh, yeah. But it's also, it's planned, right? You can see that that's like one big, it looks like fucking starry night on his body it's not like he just got like oh i'll get this one and then this one and this one and this one it's like all of a sudden you're like oh shit i'm covered this was like from jump street he knew his

whole body was gonna be covered right like look at that chest that's all one thing covering his entire chest dude that gives me this really makes me uncomfortable like really a lot really really a lot i don't like this. Why? It freaks me the fuck out. That guy cannot be trusted in any walk of life. He clearly has some mental issues. I mean, can you imagine that guy just like on a fucking just a regular, make a regular decision for me, pal. How can you trust him?

How do you be like, dude, pizza or Chinese tonight? Whatever he says, I'm doing the opposite. It's freaking me out, man. You're a rat. It's, I mean, I'm doing the opposite. Freaking me out, man. You're right. I can trust him to make decisions. He's made a lot of them. I'm more pro just make the decision. I don't care if it's right or wrong.

You just make the decision. Have I told you you never have to make another decision in your life, but all decisions are going to be made by this guy? Done. Sign me up. Wow. And you've got to do whatever he says. Do whatever he says. Oh, man, that's a bad idea.

I'd fucking. You are reckless, sir. I would. Wait, I don't get to. Everything I had to do could run through him. Everything. Everything. And you never have the stress ever again.

But it's like. And it's not like a process. Imagine just somehow like your brain just knows what to do. But it's based on him. It's like Krang in Ninja Turtles. He's in your fucking stomach pulling the levers and shit, and you're just the big, fat, dumb body that does the work for him. Oh, he's got a tattooed tongue.

Yeah. How does that work? I mean, you're a monster, bro. You are a literal monster. You know what my thing is? You know what my main thing is? Out of all this shit The forked tongue The forked tongue might be number one

Because that's just crazy Lee Raven disagrees The fat fucking earlobes What are they called? G That to me Is the worst I hate that

Especially if you ever catch them without the thing in. Without the thing, it's a real problem. With it, I can kind of deal with it. No. You can date a girl like that? I wouldn't want to. It probably wouldn't be a complete deal breaker. I would be like, you should probably get those fixed. Because you can't get them fixed.

You can? Yeah. Janice Griffith used to have them. And then she has regular years now. I would guess you'd probably cut it and sew it. Let it grow? I don't know. What makes you want to do that? Not a great process. Hey, man, my dad doesn't love me, so I'm going to have fucking fat earlobe holes.

Do you think this guy always wanted to be a kindergarten teacher? I'll tell you what, I actually don't think. I might be putting my professional future in jeopardy. I think that this guy is not even – he never wanted to be a teacher. You think he's just a tattoo advocate? I think he's a tattoo guy. Like American with Disabilities Act? He's looking for the French with Tattoos Act?

Yep. I think he works for Spotify. I think he wants to cause a stir and be like, I'm being oppressed and all that shit. So he's like, what's the one job I know I'm not going to get based on my appearance? Let me go in and then cry prejudice. He could be doing that. And in that case, brilliant man. Yeah.

Genius fella. What he should have done. No. If you're going to do that, you have to be like our girl in our next segment here. You have to get like a couple tattoos. A lot, but not enough where the whole world is logically going to be like, come on, asshole. If you had like a sleeve and you got told you couldn't be a kindergarten teacher i think that's fucked yeah you know this this girl uh who's a doctor uh is having trouble finding work which is like what does that mean like you're having people like trouble finding people to like

operate on or something like when you're finding work you know what i mean well i would guess like a hospital employs you yeah but i'm and i'm saying like if you yes but uh so anyway she she uh competed in the very well regarded and well known here at the barstool sports at least miss bum bum competition in brazil for best ass in brazil which is honestly a best ass contest in brazil is like a best cigarette smoking contest in France. Okay. I mean, that's what they do. They do ass in Brazil. So we've been covering that.

And Mike in Brazil is got to get him on the podcast. That dude's dead. Kevin made to break it to you. Mike in Brazil is I don't know, but he's got to be him. And Naomi Russell are just dead in the casket. Fucking see you later. They're he's got to be him. And Naomi Russell are just dead in the casket. Fucking see you later. They're probably buried next to each other. Naomi Russell was the first time I ever realized I might have some superficial issues.

I was like, she's got a lisp? Gross. I can't believe how much she talked. That's a girl who has to shut her fucking mouth. Just stop talking. Everything else is great, but you have a lisp. And we're not giving speeches here, Naomi. We're just fucking

on camera. You can just stop talking. I could do a Megan Fox's toe thumb. We gotta talk about Megan Fox. But the lisp was just like it just didn't need to be done. When you're trying to do sexy talk and you're lisping, it's just like this.

Have you ever seen it? It's worse than a baby voice. Yeah. Would you like me to do like, you know, sexy talk and you're lisping. It's just like this. Have you ever seen it? It's like worse than like a baby voice. Yeah. Would you like me to do? I'd be like, that's creeping me out. But I want to suck your dick. Well, guess what? It's not even around to suck anymore. My dick.

That's not even available. Do with all the fat. Have you ever, one of my favorite porns ever for for not even like sexual purposes have you ever seen naomi russell and that crazy german bitch uh fuck what's her name annette schwartz i know who you're talking about i don't know there's a fucking scene with her because like naomi russell's like kind of a normal porn star and that other one is not and they're doing a scene where this girl the german chick just goes so crazy and so hard and she's like spitting and slapping her and shit naomi is laughing out loud because she's like

what the fuck is going on it's got one of those you know one of those masks with like the dick coming out of your mouth yeah those are involved and naomi's just like what the fuck is happening and and then it's just like punching her and spitting on her it It's insane. I need a new agent. How did I get booked for this gig? But yeah, believe it or not, and I'm not, you know... Miss Bum Bum I'd have no problem with. That guy can't teach my kids, but Miss Bum Bum

can operate on me any day. I disagree. Why? She made her money fucking stripping to pay through med school. I know. I guess that's pretty cliche, but then you gotta leave it then you gotta leave it behind I know this is horrible and I know it's stupid and backwards and misogynistic or whatever but

a couple months ago a hot doctors thing was trending for this very reason it wasn't like Miss Bum Bum but it was like an attractive doctor who was getting a hard time and they all were posting pictures of like themselves out of work and then like in their scrubs and i was like i'm being honest my gut shot reaction here is like you're you're too hot to be a good doctor i know that's crazy but i want like some fucking indian dude operating on me and not this sexy chick with thirst trap instagrams i know that's wrong but if

i'm just being honest they were too hot to be doctors they were so fucking hot i i get it because party is like what made you do this right like what are you you're a good person is that why you went into the medical field this is just i'm not saying you got uh you know you don't have a steady hand to operate on me i'm saying your decision making is off if you planned if you went to medical school for like a thousand years rather than just be like i'm gonna be hot and rich because i'm hot it's just bad decision-making you're not efficient you're not a very efficient worker i mean it is fair to question doctors it's like it's like what we say about every profession like i grew up with you man i know you're not good at this yes i know you're not good at anything right i i've known you my whole life i know

you're an idiot i know i know people in like politics who are like hookers. Growing up, you're a hooker. Now you're in politics. I know a kid who was drinking Listerine who was in a boated position. We were in seventh grade and he was looking to get drunk and was drinking fucking mouthwash. You know a kid who was drinking Listerine who has a podcast, too. You were drinking Listerine to get drunk and was drinking fucking mouthwash you know a kid who was drinking Listerine who has a podcast too you were drinking Listerine to get drunk uh not in seventh grade but like we would do it in school how much would you drink I mean I don't even know if it was ever successful but like yeah it was kind of more like sitting in the dorm like it was like bottoms up drink bottle Listerine no we just like disgusting by the way how many shots would you do John I

mean I wouldn't say a ton I get I. John, how many shots are we talking? Because all these numbers you keep dancing around. Is it like seven? I was going to throw three to five out. Five shots of Listerine is a lot, buddy. That's a lot. And then we'd put peanut butter in our mouths because we thought that that would cover up like a spit test we had to take. Like sometimes you'd get like randomly selected for spit tests to see if you had alcohol and we heard that the peanut butter was mask it peanut butter would

mask it and then a penny under your tongue so my buddy once bought charcoal pills you ever see those uh and because he was driving when he shouldn't have been and we were all in the car and like eating them like like they were fucking candy just kind of out of like solidarity and we fucking stumble out of his Jeep Wrangler at the fucking thruway diner it was like our drunk spot and a crew of girls from our high school pull up and they were like kind of drunk but not where we were

and we like fall out, we're like what's up girls and we just have charcoal all in our teeth, all over our lips and they were like horrified wait, they don't make you puke? I thought you were supposed to puke Wait, it'll make you puke? I thought charcoal was a puke. No, as far as what I understood, it was like you beat a breathalyzer with it.

Oh, I thought the point of charcoal was... I think when you get your stomach pumped, they make you eat charcoal. I think it's to absorb all the alcohol. It doesn't make you puke. So maybe it was like we were trying to sober up quickly, not beat the breathalyzer or whatever. We had no...

I don't fucking care. I'm just black. So idiotic. The other one we used to do was smoke teabags with a Hall's menthol in your mouth. That was supposed to get you high. Smoke – like you roll it up? Yeah. You roll the teabag.

You get the leaves out or you just smoke the actual bag? You smoke the actual bag. Wow. That seems so stupid it's i again i don't think it ever worked it was one time on like an eighth grade field trip where we like was like an overnight field trip we were supposed to go to dc but 9-11 happened so we changed it to west fucking 9-11 have you smoking tea bags we changed it to western pennsylvania and went to amish country instead god damn terrorists and uh The real tragedy Your motherfuckers had me churning butter

In Pennsylvania Dutch country It's supposed to be DC with a stop at fucking Six Flags in Jersey On the way down Instead just Western fucking PA Um but uh The yeah we tried that Again I don't think it worked The lengths that people will go to

That's how you know it's human nature to get fucked up we want to alter our state of mind I'm seven years old and I'm like rapid fucking I'm not seven years old

I wasn't seven this time it's the one time I wasn't seven I was in eighth grade and I like standing on the bed like tying bags around the

smoke detectors fucking subbing towels under the door I mean people smoking out of apples and cans and everything under the fucking sun.

Humanity at a very young age. I just want to feel not like this. 12-year-olds. That's the world we live in. 12-year-olds are like, I got to fucking. I got too much on my mind. I got to fix this shit. I got to fucking get drunk or get high or something.

Dude, that's like there's that interlude on MGK's new album with Megan Fox where she's like uh the the there's that interlude on uh mgk's new album uh with megan fox where she's like do you even remember like when we what's happening it wasn't it wasn't like do you remember like tonight or do you remember like she goes do you remember when we hang out together that was her question question do you remember when we spend time together mgk we got to talk about it was brought to you by the zebra. Now, the zebra, I feel like the zebra gets a lot of shit. Like, the animal. I feel like the zebra is like, you're just a horse with stripes.

You're just a horse with a paint job. No respect for the zebra. None. The zebra. And I'll be honest, I don't know if I have it either. You don't respect zebras? I don't know that I do. Have you ever heard the noise that a zebra makes?

Never once. Never once. Nick, pull that up, please. You know, horses, nay. Donkeys, hee-haw. What is a zebra? I just did it. It's a little bit of a mix of both.

Is that like a little... It's kind of like a banshee. Yeah, a little hyena, too. Yeah. Hyena, donkey, animal. A horse, zebra. Horse, hyena, donkey. Hyena. Yankee, hyena, donkey. Hyena.

Or donkey. I'm a donkey. I think zebras deserve more respect. Jesus Christ. Let her rip again. All right. That wasn't too far off. You were really not.

That sounds like a squeaky bed on someone fucking. I feel like we've done this before. We did animals. I don't think we did zebras. We did zebras, yeah. We did like camels maybe. Yeah, they make some weird noises too, man. But that's when you think of the animal, the zebra.

When I say the zebra from now on, I want you to think of the insurance website. Because everybody needs insurance. If you don't have insurance, you're an idiot. Your car insurance, your house insurance, all of it is one of the most important things you're going to buy. You have to do it, and so you should make sure you save as much money as you can doing it, and that's what the Zebra does. It's almost

like Kayak or Priceline Negotiator or all those websites that compile all the best deals for planes and hotels and travel. They do that, but all for insurance. I mean, there's so many insurance providers. Like I used to think it's just like Geico and it's just Allstate. And it's like, there's so fucking many of them.

So you can get them all in one shot when you go to thezebra.com slash KFC. And you can save up to around 670 bucks a year is the average. $21 billion is how much Americans overpay every year in insurance. So don't be one of those suckers. It's a staggering number, dude. So go to TheZebra.com, T-H-E-Z-E-B-R-A.com, and you can save on your car and home insurance today. It's completely free.

They don't fuck around with your information. They don't sell it to spam. They don't do any of that nonsense. It's just TheZebra.com slash KFC to start saving today. MGK's new album's out. And I don't know if it's because I'm not, I mean, this pretty much is my introduction to punk rock. I know. Oh, buddy. I know.

You missed some angsty years. Yeah, yeah. I wasn't like a little emo bitch boy. You know what's terrible? I was in elementary school when I started listening to like fucking Blink and stuff. You know what's terrible? I think I didn't like it then because i couldn't relate and now as a 35 year old grown man of two children i am relating i can really relate to mgk's

lyrics on this album i think that's a very bad sign he has a song that's basically like yeah like i'm never gonna grow up and like i'm like yeah that's fucking me man i think the album is fucking amazing i was talking to frankie and he's like, you know, someone who's obviously very into it. He's like, it sounds like the same three songs, like, over and over again. And I'm like, yes, but I really like those three songs. I think it's a good album. So I'm okay with it.

Bob Fox co-signed it, which I think is, like, the best co-sign you can get. I really, really like it. But what is really weird and jumps out at me is that Megan Fox is, like, on the album, and I feel like you can tell a lot of like some of the lyrics are about her and all of the promotion and all the pictures she's everywhere with him now and and the reason this popped in my head too is we were talking about the feet and finger toes and stuff her feet are always in the picture yeah the album cover the bloody valentine cover and then they took a picture on the on that fire escape they climbed and her foot and her high heels.

I'm like, you guys are into some foot shit. But I said like, isn't this a little weird to, this is like, I think this is MGK is like big moment. Like he made it in rap, but not really.

And like now he's made it in like with the genre change. And I think tickets to my downfall is going to be known as like his career changing album. And which by the way it's so funny travis barker executive produced it he drummed on everything he wrote a lot of lyrics he was basically like i'm gonna show you how to make a pop album a punk album and i'm like did it but i was like this is gonna be his album and when like he inevitably breaks up with megan fox because that's how these celebrity couples go she's gonna be like all over this and then

john went pepe Silvia on him. John was in the basement smoking those French cigarettes. I was actually on my porch jump roping. You've got the brain power working. My feet hurt from it. I was walking around this morning being like, why the hell do my feet hurt so much? And I jumped rope on Saturday.

And it was my first time working out in probably, I don't know, four or five months. And the endorphins got me going. And I started – it was weird because we were thinking about it at the exact same time. Because I was listening to the album while I was working out. And I started connecting some dots where you think it's odd that Megan Fox is all over it. I think it's entirely intentional that Megan Fox is all over it. Johnny PR is in the building right now.

Here's the deal. Okay. that Megan Fox is on. Johnny PR is in the building right now. Here's the deal. There was recently on 2BIG's podcast, Brandon and Willie's podcast, one of Pete Davidson's former roommates. Friend, former roommate. He's a comedian. I forget his name.

And he said that Pete was a very funny comedian and is a very funny comedian, but what he's best at is getting famous. Which is a skill. He said that Pete was a very funny comedian and is a very funny comedian, but what he's best at is getting famous. And he said that. Which is a skill. He said that Pete would, and this is like a current friend. It's not like a guy who's got some bridges to burn, as far as I understand it. Current friend.

And he said that Pete would, when he was younger, keep his ear to the street, so to speak, about whatever rapper just broke up with whatever girlfriend. And then he would go after that girlfriend. And then he rode that wave because TMZ would then report, so-and-so's ex seen with Pete Davidson. And then Pete Davidson's out there, Pete Davidson's out there, Pete Davidson's out there.

And he rode that to Saturday Night Live, where he continued to do it up until Ariana Grande. Again, this is a meme. Big Sean. This is what I heard in that clip. Pete Davidson's best friend is one Machine Gun Kelly. He had a guest starring role in, not guest starring, but guest role in King of Staten Island. I believe MGK famously flew across the country when Pete wasn't doing well.

Just two tall, lanky guys having fun. And then leading up to this album, I mean, the reason why he even was in my fucking, I even heard about him, was the run he had with women. MGK with Halsey, MGK with Kate Beckinsale, MGK with Summer Rae,

and then we interviewed MGK, and he was like, it was a great song, I loved Bloody Valentine right away. I listened to it because that's what he's promoting on the interview, and I was like, oh, this is fucking dope. I love this song. And I had no idea what was like, it was a great song. I loved Bloody Valentine right away. I listened to it because that's what he's promoting on the interview. And I was like, oh, this is fucking dope. I love this song. And I had no idea what going into it because I wasn't an MGK fan at the time. Neither was I.

He totally turned me. I had no idea if I was going to like the song. I didn't know what kind of song it was going to be. I was like, oh, shit, this is fucking awesome. And in our interview, he's like, bro, just wait. Just you wait till you see who's foot that is. Just you wait till you see who's in the music video for this. And not like, you know, like I'm dating a new girl I'm in love. Like, just wait till you see whose foot that is. Just you wait till you see who's in the music video for this. And not like, you know, like, I'm dating a new girl I'm in love.

Like, just wait till you see who's on the cover. Wait till you see in the video. This is, like, all intertwined with his music and his business. And I think that this was this. We're like, they met on a movie, and Pete was like, you know, Pete kind of told MGK, like, yo, here's a way to kind of get more into this. Now, so you think she broke up with Brian Austin Green, and then he was like, all right, so that's the blueprint.

She's now single, and she's obviously a hot, iconic type girl. Yeah, let's get together. Let's make this happen. Because as awesome as that song is, and as good as it is, I don't think it's anywhere near the hit it is if it's not like, holy shit, Megan Fox is back. Because that video was like – It's definitely coupled with it, yeah.

I blogged that video with the caps locks, Megan Fox is back. Because that video was like. It's definitely coupled with it. I blogged that video with the caps locks, Megan Fox is back. It was. And now, like I said, she's at, you know, they climbed. They were climbing outside that fucking club. And, like, the TMZ wrote an article being like, you know, there was a screenshot of the email being like, can we find out why Megan and Colson were climbing? They're doing things that are obviously, they're cutting the fucking ribbon at his coffee shop. Everything is together. She's in the vlog videos, the vlog videos,

behind the scenes, all that shit. She's everywhere. So it's not like I have a new girlfriend and I keep that separate. It's very much. And maybe there's- Every quote, right away they said the twin flames and they're like, everything's been very public

and like, oh my God, you know? be and maybe it's real maybe it's real maybe it's like like in a rom-com where it's like like yeah this started as a bed yeah yeah yeah but like i fell in love with you kind of yeah yeah and so like maybe that's what happened i don't know but this is definitely and i don't think it's anything groundbreaking like definitely it was a PR move to get the song and the album going, and that's why she's all over it, because Megan Fox's name carries a lot of fucking clout to every man in the world. At that demo, you know what I mean?

That one's probably going after her. Oh, man. I think, though, the album, to me, all aside, I mean, there's a run there. I mean, I love really all these songs, but the title track kiss kiss pretty good drunk face then it goes bloody valentine forget me too with halsey all i know uh i love i mean there that's a three song run on an album that i that could go toe-to-toe

with any three in a row for me and really four and five and six if you include the first three i mean i just i haven't listened to albums in so long really right and if i have it's been like a kanye album that i've been disappointed in or whatever when there's fucking 15 tracks you know 13 or or 12 songs with like interludes and whatnot and i like a lot of them that has not happened for a long time yeah usually it's a single five really good songs yeah that's a big deal of this day and age to drop like five at once like that and the one with halsey is just fucking that one's very good her her like punk rock voice or she kind of like goes like a little higher or whatever that's see they should those they should have stayed together that's a couple right there that's a fucking couple uh we'll do some top fives and then we'll do our voicemails

today's interview is with taylor shilling who i i think is um i would characterize her as as the number one like what the fuck is kfc radio i don't even know who these guys are and then someone sets up the interview and she does it and now we're friends yeah i love taylor she's like great to see you guys again yeah yeah i think she really likes us uh boston girls why yep yep did you notice though she said she went to NYU for grad school and she just hides her Fordham pass yeah I was gonna call her out on it but I was like I get it yeah I get it all right let's just get right into top fives then uh top five today since we are doing Orange is the New Black star Taylor Schilling we decided to do top five celebrity mug shots of all time which is a great category from uh our intern, Jackie, because there's so

many directions you can go. You can go with hot. You can go with iconic. You can go with important. You can go with surprising, old school, new school. There's a bunch. I am going to go number one. And I am going to go with the queen

I think it's her right the queen of mugshots Lindsay Lohan if you didn't take Lindsay if Lindsay got to me I was going straight Lindsay it was going to be all I bet she has five

am I taking the one or am I taking Lindsay Lohan? Because she's got so many and they're all fucking fire. They're all fucking great. She looks better in her mug shots than she does in her glam shots. Her head shots don't get her gigs. Her mug shots do. She is so fucking hot as a blonde in all of them. There's the one where she's got like, yeah, I mean, look at that. That top right

is just like, you are a dime, babe. And there's the one where she's like, she just looks like evil in one of them. It's all of it's either like you're sexy or you're dangerous. Like this one right here. That one, she's got a little bit of red hair going like that. That's the one with the bomber jacket

or the members only jacket. That bitch will fuck you up. And then, of course, the blonde hair one is like is the one so uh lindsey the queen number one boy oh boy i'm gonna go number one let me look at that jesus jiminy cricket she's so you might do it all lindsey i'm gonna wait a minute i didn't realize that and that are two different ones yeah no i think she has five um the let's see i'm gonna go one i'm gonna do mine as in there's gonna be ones that you kind of didn't really know about okay they're not gonna be the most famous they're gonna be like surprising kind of deal okay number one bill gates wow i didn't even know bill gates got arrested in 1977 in albuquerque for running a stop sign and driving without a license. The following year, he transferred his startup company to Seattle and received three more speeding tickets while driving his Porsche 911.

Oh, is that? Yes, I just thought. Yeah, that's a great one. Dude, so wait, how old was he? He's driving a Porsche, huh? That was probably when he was young and had fuck you money. He was probably a kid at MIT or wherever the fuck he went to school. And he was like, I don't give a shit.

I'm rich. Fuck off. That is – that's one I would – I never knew he even got arrested, let alone had a good shot to go with. My number two pick, iconic, the Frank Sinatra mugshot. Blue Eyes. Frankie, yeah. Frankie with the Bergen County on the fucking little thing you hold up. It's always in black and white, but have you seen it in color?

No, I don't think I have. I don't know if this is real or if they colorfied this or whatever. They probably did. I don't know. But they gave him the blue eyes. That's awesome. Yeah, that picture should just be used. Be like, hey, if you really don't think Ronan Farrow is fucking Frank Sinatra's kid, why don't you take a look at this?

Yeah, that's a great point. That is a great point. But to me, I mean, that goes along with every other picture of Sinatra, like the rat pack and all that shit. It's like his best one might be when he's a kid with the hair falling in front of his forehead like that. Frank Sinatra, number two. Might be sexier than Lindsay, to be honest. Number two here. This is just a classic.

This could be a picture of me on any Saturday at about, any summer Saturday at about 7 p.m. It's one Mr. Nick Nolte. I guessed it. I haven't pulled up a month. Yes. That is a great one. I mean, that's got to be the all-time worst.

The all-time worst. It's so good. It's so bad. It's good. I love it. That hair, man. And it almost gives me the vibe of like he knew the person taking the picture. He's like, all right, Marge.

I'm back again. This is my fourth this month. Here we go. Fucking A. We know. All right. this month here we go yeah we know um all right i'm gonna go with another classic this is one that um kind of changed the world especially the world of sports tiger woods that tiger was mugshot that hair is terrible those eyes are the most fucked up eyes of all time that's the i was trying to fuck on ambien i was doing i was doing xanax and blow and fucking everything else on the sun

and i got caught that was when he was like in the middle of like he was just in the road right like at a red light like i sleep with the car oh yes right that's that's like i'm so fucked up i'm sitting and i think he like tried to talk his way out of it it's like dude you are in the road didn't go to rehab after that one? I think so, yeah. I think this was like the straw that broke the camel's back. So, Tiger. All right, number three. This could be me on any Saturday at about 7 p.m.

James Brown. I didn't know it off the top of my head, but once I saw it, I was like, yup. And this one is a bad arrest. He is arrested for domestic violence but i'll tell you what it looks like james brown's wife beat the shit out of him it looks like he got you lost you lost the fight you might have started the fight fucking your wife ended it bro like he does not look like he fared well. Not at all. Okay, my number four pick. Hot guy.

Yeah. Hot guy. I mean, you keep saying this could be me on any given summer, this could be me on any night. This could never be me. Could never look like this. This guy is so fucking hot, it's ridiculous. You know how fucking hot you have to be to be incarcerated?

Once he gets out. I'm fucking. He has a career now. He's a model. I don't care if he's locked up for murdering a baby. This guy is so hot. We got to take pictures of him. He's got 1.6 million followers on Instagram.

1.6 million? Yep. God damn. And it just says all inquiries email you know this fucking person and he's just you know so god damn hot jackie what would he have had to what crime would he have had to commit for you to like not go out with him like if i told you like he was so he's a gang member he went down for um he he was arrested during a, honestly, that makes him hotter. He got arrested in a gang sweep.

It's like, oh, he weren't doing anything in the moment. He was just caught up in a gang. You're a crip. No big deal. So yeah, all right. He went to prison for, he had a firearm and grand theft charges. So he's just robbing cars and got guns. I was going to say, the teardrop was really hot.

Yeah. Yeah, so if I told you this guy had murdered before Would you still fuck him? Like you said like that Okay not a baby murder he murdered an adult Okay Talk into the mic Murdered an adult depends on what happened

Let's say it was It was a gang thing it wasn't like he just like Picked an innocent bystander he's a crip He killed the blood just over some turf Done Done I love it He just picked an innocent bystander. He's a crip. He killed the blood just over some turf. Done. Like innocent murder? Innocent murder. Jackie, I'm proud of you.

You can be part of the team. I'm happy you said that. Innocent murder is tough. Gang is like, you kind of signed up for this life. Okay, my turn is going to be um number four is josh jackson josh jackson like from my ducks yeah he got arrested for assaulting a security guard at a carolina hurricanes hockey game blew a point he looks like uh like did he get that during fucking Mighty Ducks? He looks young there. He looks like he's 24 years old.

I would guess he was probably around D3 time. Yeah. Wow. And, I mean, Charlie Conway, you know, everyone said he's a fucking, you know, he wasn't tough enough. Yeah. Going in there fucking time to fight a security guard. I'm going to prove my shit right now. You push a man to his edge, he'll fucking find out for you.

Yeah. Holy shit. That is, I did not know that one. I have not seen that one. security guard i'm gonna prove my shit right now man to his edge he'll find out for you yeah holy shit that is uh i did not know that one i have not seen that one in my last pick god there's a bunch of good ones to pick um i'm not picking this but nina dobrev has a fucking mugshot that again i mean that could go toe-to-toe with with lindsey look at that one nina dobrev is an all-time smoke under the radar i oh man there's so many good ones tupac in new york is great uh snoop in murder was the case oh i might have to pick that one i think he made that his album cover did he do that can you pull that up can you pull up the murder was the case album cover for me?

Because that might sway my opinion. If you get arrested for murder and go to trial and you beat the case and then you make the album cover your mugshot and call it murder was the case that they gave me, that's pretty. No. Okay. All right. In that case, I am going to keep it. I'm going to be real because this one jumped out at me um boy you know what's funny like non-famous people there's so many hot people

like who's that girl super hot oh super hot yeah super hot that one i remember yeah i remember her too i remember that i think i i think i like tweeted with her or something like she was she was the female version she was there was hot mugshot and she was attractive convict i definitely interact you talk to her yeah yeah she's married now classic uh i'm gonna go beebs beebs smiling with the lesbian haircut i love that one that that to me and and the reason why uh because i'm gonna couple it with his deposition video. Remember that? Yeah. Where he was just like laughing in people's faces like that. I mean, he looks like Ellen DeGeneres.

One thing we were talking about earlier was like, oh, yeah, we'll tell the banks. Like, waive that $15 fee. It's another thing to tell the law, suck a dick. Yeah, man. You know what is funny about this, too? You're doing it here, Johnny Law. I'm Justin Bieber. Get out of here.

Hey, this is funny because it's like look how like defiant beebs is smiling right and then there he's about to cry in his profile he's like fuck this is real i'm going to jail bro last pick for you all right i got two now i will give you my honorable mention first it's matthew mcconaughey just because it's so funny how he got arrested he got arrested for playing his bongos naked. Too loud. Yep. Classic.

Got caught with weed. But this was Hot Convict 2. I don't know if you remember this guy. He had like a fucking strong neck. John Feidelberg. Forgot about your mugshot. I forgot about my mugshot. Fuck!

It would have been one. I would have picked that number one. That's right. Dave had his prep school face, and Gaz did something else. But, I mean, that went under the radar, Phil. That's a great picture. It's a great picture. Pull that back up.

You got, like, the sunglasses thing going, too,'t you have like a tan and i also had eye black on so it's like a yes i mean you look like a heart you look like you just came out of a west virginia coal mine where you murdered someone and an innocent murder yeah yeah and they were like you're going to jail motherfucker it is it's a strong picture of me. That's great. I don't know if you always want to look like the hot guy going into jail, but I look like the hot guy there, man. I was going to say, our five picks could not be more polar opposite. Bieber looking like Ellen with a smile and his hair flat top to the sky,

and you looking like a West Virginia coal miner murderer. Yeah. You right. You right. You right. You're good, baby. That was a good top five. Well done, Jackie.

That was good. So, I mean, there's so many good ones. Elvis, MLK, 50 Cent from 1994. Looks like he will murder the shit out of you. There's a lot of good ones. So, tweet us with your picks for top five. What are they called? Mugshots.

All right, let's do our voicemails today. They're brought to you by healist modern life has made it seem like living in a constant state of stress and anxiety and exhaustion is normal it's not i definitely think that way like i think about i think about spider and i think about some of the guys here who just don't have any responsibility and like at all moments i'm worried about something worried about my kids worried about work worried about my personal life my past my future my health i mean i'm always fucking freaking out about something that's not normal that's not normal shouldn't be that way and so it's time to uh get back to wellness and be normal i'm just talking to myself now folks you

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Like, yes, fucking please. A five to 10 day free trial. Why not go to healist? H E A L I S T healist naturals.com slash KFC radio to sign up and get your free sample today. Yo, what's up guys. So I was just thinking about like the elementary school days. I thought about this time I was at recess and there's probably like

300, 400 kids outside just like running around doing whatever playing and'm in first grade, and I had to take a shit. But, like, it was recess. I didn't want to leave recess, so I was just trying to hold it in. And all of a sudden, like, I couldn't anymore. So I'm just standing there, looking straight forward, trying to focus so I don't shit my pants, just focusing as hard as I can. And this girl I had the biggest crush on comes up to me.

And she's like, oh, my gosh, like, are you okay? You look sick. She's, like, trying to see what's wrong with me. Meanwhile, I'm just trying to hold in the shit. gets crushed on comes up to me and she's like oh my gosh like are you okay you look sick she's like trying to see what's wrong with me meanwhile i'm just trying to hold in the shit and while she's asking me i just i start to shit my pants and i'm like borderline tears i just run away from her and i have to go see the nurse and get a new pair of pants and so like i had to walk back into class after recess with a new pair of pants on so like everyone knows like this kid shit himself um and it's still haunting to this day so i'm just wondering if you guys have any

stories from like no early childhood no they'll just like haunt you bro you want to know why why people walk around in a constant state of fear and stress it's because it's shit like this happens um okay a couple things i mean if you shit your pants, you just go home today. Go the fuck home. Because first of all, you have some problems. There's something. You are sick in the moment if you're shitting yourself. No, I don't think so.

If you lose control of your bowels, there's enough wrong with your body that you can say, I need to go home. No, it's like shitting on your lunch break. Fucking hold that in until you fucking get back to the office. Shit on company time. Get paid for it I'm not shitting at recess buddy I'm playing dodgeball motherfucker

I mean talking to your crush While you simultaneously shit your pants Is so emotionally scarring This kid should probably just end it all He has no chance of ever being normal No shot I almost think That he has a bigger crush on her because of this.

Like he'll forever be interconnected? Pooping feels good. Let's call it what it is. It does. I don't really agree with that. You don't think pooping feels good? I mean, not the way some of you guys characterize it. It's not a fucking out-of-body experience.

When people on Answer the Internet are like, would you rather, like, cum or shit? I'm like, cum, bro. Like, some people are a little too into it. Well, it depends on the moment. Yeah, yes. I get it. I understand. Sometimes there's a gross cum where you're like, this is disgusting of me.

I'm an absolute animal. And sometimes there's real shit. Sometimes they're both good. I don't know. You are a fucking animal. You are an animal. I don't really have one that personally ever happened to me. Not that I can really recall.

I do remember one when a kid got a pencil shoved up his ass. It was so funny. It wasn't up his asshole. It was up his ass cheek. I think I rounded up my asshole. At least there's a hole it's going into. You're just ripping through my flesh. Someone had sharpened the pencil.

Not me. Someone had sharpened the pencil. Someone who sat right on the other side of me, though. So this kid sat in the middle of us. You could have stopped it. You could have done something here. I knew it was coming. And it was me and my best friend.

And so it was me, this pencil kid's me and my best friend and so it was it was me this pencil kid and then my best friend on the other side and he's like yo he's like yo it's kindergarten he's like yo i'm uh we'll call him steve i'm gonna get steve how are you gonna get him he's like i'm gonna sharpen the pencil he's gonna sit on it and i was like oh boy that's fucking funny uh cosign i'm in for it and so he went and he sharpened the pencil. You know when you sharpen the pencil so fucking much that it's just like half wood and it's just like the sharpest pencil in the world? Yep.

And this kid's coming to sit down and he just last second gets it under right in time. Oh, my God. Your full body weight like that? It goes directly into him. Like right up his cheek. Yeah. Did he like a blood curdlingurdling scream great yeah kevin the loudest thing ever like this was right i would like sue that fucking kid yeah i would pull that out of my ass and stab him in the fucking throat i would kill that kid and and so he gets up and he

just runs out right away like yeah runs out of the classroom and it was about lunchtime or recess or whatever it was we were leaving the class i cannot believe you are mentioning this kid with the same guy who just pooped his pants this man was assaulted this is just a moment i remember from elementary school and so we're walking to again where whatever it may be snack time well snack time was in the classroom so recess or lunch one of the others and we walked by the principal's office and the whole class knows what happened yeah at point. We're like, yeah. Frank's a fucking sociopath. He shoves the pencil up his ass.

And everyone's like, oh, my God, that's horrifying. Blah, blah, blah. It's bad. And then we walk past the principal's office. And they have kind of like a desk you can see in. And the kid is being held by the secretary, crying his eyes out, obviously. But then a pencil sticking out of his ass still. The whole class just erupted into laughter.

Like it was just sticking out of his jeans. Again, I mean, you wonder why people have anxiety. This fucking kid, he gets stabbed to death and people are just laughing at him because it's funny he's got a pencil in his butt. It was, I mean, a pencil in the butt's funny, man. I mean, victim. That man is a victim of a heinous crime. He don't, no doubt. I mean, it pencil in the butt's funny, man. I mean, victim. That man is a victim of a heinous crime. No doubt. I mean, it's legitimately assault.

That kid should go. Did that kid go to jail? No. Did he end up being a total failure? No, still a good friend of mine. That's some pre-crime shit. That kid, you cannot trust him. Goodness.

But that kindergarten got me thinking, too. Oh, when I was in kindergarten, this French bitch smoking cigarettes. Her name was Garance. She bit me. Bit my leg. The leg? The leg, like the shin. We were playing duck goose.

And she was, like, breaking the rules or some shit. Said she tagged me. She didn't. I was too fast. I got back down. And she did it like a fuck, almost like a cartoon where you're, like, chomping on it like it's a corn on the cob. She just like pulled my pants.

I'm like, pow. She got the pants up too? Yep. She got the flesh, bro. That's impressive. That bitch. I'll get around to calling me. Yeah, she'd probably be a keeper now.

At the time, I was like, what's wrong with you? Now I'd be like, what's wrong with you, girl? Come be wrong with me. But I was thinking about kindergarten and how goddamn fucking weird it is that we have the pledge of allegiance every day that's fucking yeah because like culture yeah that's so weird stand up there and stand up you know it felt very uh like like that's that's like if you show me that like a videos of like kids in north korea yes i'm gonna say it seems like why do they do that germany Al Hitler type shit. Do they still do that shit? The pledge?

Yeah. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America. Oh, yeah. And for the republic for which it stands. Can you do it? Can you do it? Start over. I think so.

I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America and to the republic for which it stands, one nation, under all, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all. Under God, bro. Under God. No, that's gone now. Is it? I was going to say, did you get it right? I didn't get it right. But I do believe it's been like, I think

at least some schools are taking it out. In which case, people are freaking out. Like, oh my god, they're getting God out of the schools. Separation of churches saves the thing. You know what's a little funny? Indivisible. Indivisible. It's pretty divisible. Like, all takes exposed. The Pledge of Allegiance allegiance get whoever wrote that one

for sure divisible and by the way fucking separation of church and state was like never a thing never they said it and it never once happened dude we used to just

fucking we had one kid in our like I grew up like in like a catholic town yeah and we had one kid who was a Jehovah's Witness and it was just like yo go sit in the corner while we fucking paint Santaanta claus like it was fucking loose it was insane yeah like it's

like oh you can't you can't have any halloween candy because you don't like fucking go sit in the corner then it's like you got time out because your parents were jehovah's witnesses it was insane like legitimately punishing children because they're he's like i don't know what the fuck it means dude the witnesses The witnesses are so annoying. He deserves it. They're such a pain in the ass. The most we ever did to defend his religion was someone brought him cupcakes on his birthday once and a teacher just threw them in the trash.

Joey, such a horrible witness, you idiot! Bam! See, again for trying to be nice, Stephanie, you dumb broad. Do you not even understand the concept of other religions? How disrespectful of you to wish Joey a happy birthday. Go stab someone with a pencil and get the fuck out of here. Know what his mom did this morning when she woke him up?

Nothing. Why don't you follow suit? Next voice now. Hey, KFC Funnelberg. So me and my boys was out here having a little bit of a debate. So this was somewhat recently, but me

and the boys were all kind of hanging out, watching some porn, and we were trying to figure out the name of this chick, and one of our buddies is a little bit more into porn than the name of this chick and one of our buddies is a little bit more into porn than the rest of us and he basically sounds like you're all into porn

let me see, let me see and we flipped the screen around he took one look at her and he spit the name out like it was nothing how the fuck did you know that because we found out he was right I recognized her by the freckles on her back and they weren't super distinctive

but it was like second nature to him. And we were just wondering, do you think that that is too into porn? Or is that how into porn you guys are? I'll tell you what I think too into porn is. Watching it with all your buddies. Yeah, dude. I think a group porn session, you're all too into porn. Watching porn without masturbating is one of the more psychotic things a human being can do.

Ever. More psychotic than a full-body tat. It is. And then walking into a kindergarten classroom. It is insanity to just sit there with your friends and be like, all right, what do you guys want to watch? You want to watch Avengers Endgame? You want to watch fucking Green Book? You want to watch fucking the football game?

No, let's watch Riley Reid's compilation. Like, no, you're a fucking, don't come to me like, is that how in a porn you guys are? I've never watched porn with anybody but perhaps someone I was about to have sex with. I watched porn once. My freshman year roommate was crying over his high school girlfriend breaking up with her. And I was like, we got to get you over this, bro. So I was like, we cracked a bunch of beer and I put on porn. I was like, watch this.

We're getting over it. I was like watching weird shit too. You turned him into Blanca. That was funny. That was very funny, John. Well done. You win today's episode. Turned him into a fucking government experiment. But yes, if you're watching

porn in a group setting with a bunch of guys... You're too into porn, bro. Don't come into my house and accuse me of fucking wrongdoing when you're over there fucking getting hard-on with your buddy. Fucking doing limp biscuits and shit like that. Like you're fucking in CCD. That's the only time it's okay to get hard with all your friends. Religion, in church.

In CCD when you're practicing fucking First Communion. All right, Bobby, your turn. Don't think so. John, your turn. Don't think so. Get over here. Have Samantha go. How about that?

Can't tell she's soaking wet. I don't know what just happened to John the last like 10 minutes of this episode, but he just lost it. You just lost your mind. Talking about little girls getting their first communion being soaking wet. I meant, I didn't, I still, as soon as I said that, you meant confirmation.

I was thinking confirmation. As soon as I said get wet, I was like, fuck, wrong, wrong sacrament. God damn it. I meant confirmation. God damn it. I meant confirmation. God damn. I didn't get hard in second grade either whenever I got my first communion.

Intentionally at least. Maybe in church. Not the first communion. Maybe the second or third. Not the first. Definitely wasn't hard for the first. My family would have known. By the way, to answer answer the question noticing freckles

is maybe a bit much but when you start to notice when you got some favorites you'll fucking notice bro I was one time shamed for recognizing Riley Reed's back tattoos no that's crazy that was on a guess that ass I think he sent it to me or someone sent it to me like is this too much of a graphic guess that ass and I was like oh Riley

Reed I don't know like what do the rest of them look like because they're like wait how'd you know it was Riley Reed I don't know. Like what are the rest of them look like? Because they're like, wait, how'd you know it was Riley Reed? I don't know. The Chinese symbols all the way down her fucking spine. Come on. Yeah.

That's, that's crazy. Tattoos, any other birthmarks and shit. Freckles, like I said, are a little bit, but if they're like,

you know, I, you know, they're really like jump out freckles. Yeah. I don't know. Why don't you fucking, I mean,

I, you know, I could probably pick out a couple of girls by their asshole alone. Can you fucking break? Again, it's the group setting porn, not the identifying teachers. You're the weirdest ones, not us for recognizing tattoos. One more, and then we'll get into our interview. What up, boys?

I was just listening to Tuesday's pod, and you guys were talking about Twitter, where you don't get to say anything or whatever. Anyways, I had a much better idea than that. TM this. What do you guys think about social media app like Twitter or Instagram, but it's just people hyping each other up? Like, you post a tweet, they say that's funny as fuck. You post a picture, you're cute as fuck.

Anything. I like how you want to be called cute. Only positive vibes. I'd love a good cute. The vibe tribe. I think. I'm just thinking. First of all, I think that was the intent of social media.

That guy on Social Dilemma was like, it was such a flex, by the way. He's like, hi, I'm John Smith. I worked for, like, LinkedIn. I worked spotify and uh i invented the like button like holy shit just a casual resume but he was like i thought it was gonna change the world for good like we're all gonna be positive i like that and didn't realize how much that's because all the people who made this are fucking idiots and like yeah, yeah, you're good at tech. You're not a sociologist. But that doesn't mean that it's going to be used just when you like things.

No, it's even worse than that. They just didn't understand humanity as a whole. They were like, hey, we got this like button. And what did we say right away? Where's the dislike button? Where's the thumbs down? Give me a thumbs down, Facebook. That was like the first thing we said.

How do I say I don't like this? Oh, comment that they should kill themselves? Deal. Okay. We'll make it just a little button if you like it. If you don't like it, tell them to commit suicide. Tell them their fucking children are ugly. They should be hung.

They should be hung. They should be Little Blaze like Shireen. We need to end this episode because I don't know what's going to come out of John's mouth next. It's just progressing down a dark, dark path. Little Blaze like Shireen. Or maybe we keep doing voicemails. I feel like the clock is running out on this guy when he's just getting hot, you know? I mean, it was like they should have consulted a sociologist

and been like, yo, what do you think would happen if we got... Hey, what if we quantify how much you like things with a number? Would that be good? Hey, we're thinking about starting this community where the whole world is together in one place. How's that usually worked out? Ever. Ever in history. Wars, typically would have been the answer. That's it.

They just thought for one second. We got people together. What happened? Death, destruction. They fought, killed each other. Oh, man. Were they different in even the slightest way? Yeah. Then they tried to kill each other. Then they proclaimed that their belief or race was superior and tried to murder the other ones.

But sure, good luck with the website, guys. It all resulted in ethnic cleansing and genocide. Any differences at all, one person would rise to power and try to eradicate the others. The only one that's fairly successful is New York, and that's because they keep everyone separate. All right, Koreans live over here. Chinese here. Italians here.

Don't intermingle. Good old segregation. Would you sign up for this all positive, though? Yeah, I wouldn't make a whole new app, but if everyone wants to start gassing me up on Twitter, I'll accept that. Yeah, that's the thing. It can't be a fake. If I knew I was going to the fake happy club, I'd be like, I'll accept that. Yeah, that's the thing. It can't be a fake. If I knew I was going to the fake happy club,

I'd be like, this is not real. But it's like smiling to trick people. You know what they gotta do? Remember when you found out that eHarmony was actually deeply religious? eHarmony is? I didn't know that. Is that why J-Day got invented? Yeah, basically.

Christian Mingle was like, yeah, obviously. But I think eHarmony is made by an evangelical catholic dude the dude in the commercials i believe it yeah right and i think they did they did a good job of like hiding that they were hiding their their religious like uh persecution yeah but i think like stormfront yeah yeah they i don't even know if they're sneaking it anymore they they stuck in the beginning and then she's just laying on the back she's just a big old nazi um but uh uh i think if you just started a new app or if all of a sudden there was like hey we have like a new like section of twitter check it out and it was just all positive i'd be like wow they really like me over here not realizing that like that's it's only allowed yeah

but yeah you'd have to trick me i don't think i could sign up for no subterfuge yeah you can't just be like because then i know it's fake. It's like, you probably hate me. You're just not allowed to comment that. By the way, if we're doing, let's do a quick little of the boys. I have a prediction. And that is that Homelander tortures of some kind Becca. And that's how she gives up where their hideout is. Because first of all, when

Butcher and Becca are fucking under that tunnel, I thought that was doppelganger. Because it's a very weird setup, how it happens. It's like, she's like, she leaves Butcher, comes back, and then just fucking opens the door to the kid's room, and the next thing you know,

it's like the car rushing in. And then they fuck, and I was like, oh, that's doppelganger. Maybe it was. opens the door to the kid's room and the next thing you know it's like the car rushing in it's a very weird like and then they fuck and I was like oh that's doppelganger maybe it was maybe oh right right and um and then uh but Butcher just reveals too much information

when she asks how life's going he says it's going great or sarcastically or something like that or terribly whatever he says he says I'm living in the basement of a pawn shop in Flatbush. That's too much. You wouldn't say that. You would just say live in the basement.

Right, right. Especially a guy who's like, you're supposed to kind of be like plausible deniability. Like you're not supposed to tell him. You're supposed to know these things. You don't need to know exactly what basement. Basement is enough information to know things are going great. Like I'm not living in the basement of the Vatican.

Like I'm in a basement. Yeah. It's not good. Things aren't ideal. Yeah. You don't, I'm not living in the basement of the Vatican. Like, I'm in a basement. Yeah. It's not good. Things aren't ideal. Yeah. You don't need any more information. It sucks no matter what. My prediction.

Under a pawn shop doesn't make it that much worse. I think Homelander is not going to become, like, good. But I think he's going to be the one to, like, stop Stormfront. Ooh. Yeah. Like, kind of good. Kind of come back around. Some sort of redeeming arc at some point.

It is also weird. Because, like, he's the only one who can, like, stop her. Although, I don't know Kind of come back around. Some sort of redeeming arc at some point. It is also weird. Because he's the only one who can stop her. Although, I don't know, that whole mental asylum, there's a lot of bad motherfuckers there. Yeah, that girl. Yeah, Cindy or whatever her name is. You explode. Do you think, like, how far back are these shows written? Because they are all, obviously this is, like, before things got, like, bad, bad.

But, like, it's got everything. The smart people are usually, like, they really know what's going on in society. Like, police murders. murders yeah I mean homeland protests and all that shit yeah protests I mean even like Stormfront is like was Trump yeah where she like came in she's on social media like she just has whatever she wants yeah yeah yeah she just shoots from the hip

and all that and it's like here's how to get people to like you a more nefarious thing it's like all of it it's like oh that's pretty apropos to what's happening right now let me let me hit you with a KFC Radio Boys crossover. Would you get a blowjob from yourself? No. Thought about it. Don't think so.

You did really think about it. Yeah. No, I gave you the real deal. I don't think there's much there for me there. I don't think I need to. It's not like I've ever wanted to see myself suck a dick. Yeah, and you see me on lowering the bar. Probably don't give a great blowjob.

You would give the worst head. I can't put my pinky in my mouth, bro. It's not ideal. You would make a terrible bro. And also, I'm not hot. If I was Homelander, maybe. I think about it, for sure. You know he's 46 years old, by the way?

I saw your tweet. I mean he looks great for his age but I didn't think he was like a young guy. I thought he was like mid to late 30s. Okay. But yeah I thought you thought he was like 20 something or something like that. No no no no. I didn't think he was a kid. He's a good looking cat man.

God he's such an asshole. He is. Such an asshole. But he's a perfect guy because he's like likable in that sense. And I think that's how they're going to like Stormfront's going to become like the main villain and he's going to come back around somehow, someway. Interview time with Taylor Schilling. This interview is brought to you by Thursday Boot Company,

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and let them know that we sent you there. Go to ThursdayBoots.com to get yours today. Taylor Schilling, KSU Radio. Let's talk to her. Hello! Can you hear us and see us? Hi, can you hear me? Yeah, what's up? No, you're good. How fun is this? The most awkward feeling in the world every single time

i know it's so weird doing these things it's like i'm like in a corner of my house put like a i put like flowers yeah so part of what we do is judge you we we always judge our our guests on their background and um i mean there is that bouquet of flowers yeah and what's that an exercise ball back there all right swiss ball in it okay all right flowers and sit-ups let's go like i'm basically in like a like a storage closet i have no interest what's happening in the home? You know what I mean? And what's crazy is like, it's not getting better. I mean, it's actually probably getting worse at this point. I figured by now we'd be used to it or like it would, it's just always off every time.

I was reading this other thing about like how we're supposed to be careful of like how to plan for a winter pandemic, like winter time in a pandemic. And it's like, I can't, I mean, we can't even, our world is on fire in every capacity. Even literally in some regards. Oh, how about those pine cones back there too? Boy, you really, you dressed it up for us. Is that what those are back there? They're not pine cones.

They're like little pieces. They're little lumps. They're like little tiny sculptures all over the place just beautiful i mean this is like a whole studio i would i've been quilting in here i have like my paint set up you have no idea if we could if you could see this side i have like an entire other world is quilting is quilting a new hobby or is that something you've done or is that is like, all right, I got to do something during quarantine. I'm a quilt. No, like I've always like, I've always like, I've always done. I've always kind of made things like that.

But this is the first time that I'm actually spending time doing. You know, what's very funny is I was just kind of searching your name on Twitter before we came on. And I think you have, not you personally. It's a blast. We were stalking. I wanted to enter a room here in Detroit.. We were just searching your name on Twitter. Well, the one, it actually. It's Twitter where nothing gets, you know, crazy or inflammatory or weird at all. It's exceptionally apropos because it, I believe the account was called like Taylor Schilling's PR company or whatever.

It's obviously not real. But the tweet was Taylor Schilling's PR company or whatever. It's obviously not real. But the tweet was, Taylor Schilling gives out major Leslie Knope vibes. And Leslie Knope loved to quilt. Big quilter. Leslie. Wait, I want to Google. Who is that?

It's Amy Poehler's character on Parks and Rec. It's a good thing. Don't worry. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Amy Poehler's character on Parks and Rec. Oh, interesting. I wouldn't come in on Twitter with some negativity. That's not me. That's not even something that I want to know, but thank you.

Twitter is just a hellscape that we probably should have never created. It's one of those things where it's like, what is that quote? Like, they were spending so much time creating it, they never thought about whether or not they should have created it. It's one of those things where it's like, what's that quote? They were spending so much time creating it they never thought about whether or not they should have created it. Twitter just shouldn't exist. It's a disaster. I have the biggest headache from doing these Zooms all the time.

Do you get headaches doing these? Well, I think I've had a headache pretty much forever. For your whole life? Yeah, it's just like that's how my head feels so sure i get it i get it um i have you seen the social dilemma yep yep did it freak you out it sure did but i mean the idea of like twitter sort of ruining every i think that's it's speaking more for its instagram and facebook i think facebook is the

problem and my hope for the world is that everybody who's on Facebook eventually just like gets old and, you know, dies. And then the young people are not on Facebook. And maybe that'll solve some of the problem, maybe. Because Facebook is just a catastrophe. It truly is. It truly is. But I think

that there's no way eventually that will happen. Let's hope sooner than later. I didn't watch The Social Dilemma because it's like I know. I just don't need to know-know. You know what I mean? I know it's unhealthy, but I don't. I know.

I mean, you think you know, and then you watch this, and you know in a different way. It's interesting. I was listening to a podcast, a different thing, but similar theme. They were talking about how they're listening not even when you're talking anymore if they hear you like sneeze and cough that you'll get ads for like benadryl and antihistamines and that if you're crying that they'll send you like i don't know links to shit that makes you happy and i'm kind of like on board with that aspect of it that

doesn't sound so bad to me some of it's bad yeah invasion of privacy and like the government listening and shit but if you're gonna send me stuff that's gonna like stop me from crying okay i mean i'm all for that if it didn't like side like the side effect wasn't kind of like demolishing our democracy it's a big uh a big bill to pay okay you sent me benadryl but also you know like a prescription drug like didn't you think those civil uh social dilemma was a little bit of its own like hysteria i feel like what they were talking about is it kind of became its own it's like a self-fulfilling thing where it's like all right well you almost seem as much propaganda as you're talking about in a way so you're saying like that they that the that that it was like inflammatory yeah i mean i know it's bad but the one guy they were like so what's like the best case scenario he was like

civil war i was like well i mean calm down man but i mean listen we calm down man but like look around. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're not wrong. They're not wrong. They're not wrong. Like nobody, I don't know, like we haven't been wrong. But I think, sure, like I think that it was kind of meant to be a little inflammatory.

Yeah, to get the point across. To have like a little bit of a counterpoint. It feels like, I mean, I'm totally with you. And I think kind of things like that, they're so deeply curated. We can't look at them as necessarily factual, but it's kind of helpful to have some information to counterbalance the messaging we get all the time. That's my main problem with,

I've stopped watching documentaries for two reasons. Number one, I like to watch mindless stuff. And that's really the big one if we're going to be honest here. But number two is they have become so like mainstream that they become false almost they become there's so much fabricated you'll watch one and then you'll find out that there was like a huge missing piece where they just didn't tell you because they try and make it so salacious exactly but that that's actually to that point was why i was so like interested in the social dilemma and then i wanted to go and like

you know do more research on the redhead and then I wanted to go and like you know do more research on the redhead you know I forget what his name yeah I know he was uh was that um was that um Tristan I think so that was so your name's Tristan dude Tristan oh I don't know I mean he he was specific about pronunciation and more power to him. You know what I mean? But that notion that we're all living in our own Truman Show, like kind of curated, the content is so curated, which is like exactly the problem with documentary. Like it's everything.

It's just so curated. Well, I have an irrational fear that I'm living like the actual Truman show, not like a metaphorical individual one that you're all actors. And maybe that's like the most narcissistic thing in the world. But I also just get so deeply nervous every time I'm like, every time I look goofy or I'm watching porn or something weird. I'm like, you're all watching. You're all watching me.

Just tell me. Why don't you tell me the truth? So, yeah, I'm a crazy person. So whatever. What I what I do like, though, so there's so many documentaries and like things that can scare you and shit and then i feel like right around this time of year there's like good fun tv and shit to watch with the season and halloween and i feel like that's what's going on with monster lands the new show you're on in hulu where it's just like get get back to basics. It's that time of year.

We're going to write some scary shit and we're going to have some fun and scare you. And like, it's fun to watch. I'm very scared of scary stuff. And I didn't have, I can't wait to watch the show. I'm serious about that. That's not just some- You're scared of the trailer.

That's not some interview pampering, but I was scared. It's a scary show. It's really scary. See what I think is so i'm not like uh i like move in and out of like kind of being interested in horror i've had moments of like thinking old school horror was really cool but i'm not like that's not like what i click on you know but um this show is the way that they make our sort of inner demons they externalize them

into like our, what you're talking about, like those, like kind of the like the things we all experience, the shadow of our all of our inner lives is alive and well, but they kind of, that kind of, that becomes the monster that's the scariest monster possible

that really is, I'm not scared of the I'm not scared of Jason, I'm not scared of Jason. I'm not scared of gore. No. I'm scared of just what's inside here. The only thing. I know. The saving grace. I know.

That's why this is so compelling. And it's still scary, but not overwhelming. It's too real. Yeah. It's more interesting to me than a jump scare. It's like a mix. 100%. But it's the one.

It's the scary that sticks with you and possibly alters your life because you start thinking about yourself in a completely different thing like Monsterland could potentially be a life changing show you watch because it just changes how you think about yourself forget about the social dilemma this is going to revolutionize the world

the best part about inner demons is that they're inner if you externalize them it's a fucking catastrophe. Or isn't. Or does it let the games of healing begin once we externalize them? That may be. Okay. Now, when the trailer starts, Caitlin Devers, I don't believe I caught her name in the trailer,

but she says something along the lines of when you're born, you can choose who you are. You're a bank robber or a doctor. I forget what she said. you can be happy or sad and basically like how what what what self are you being do you think you're being your best self right now right now does taylor feel her best self exercise ball and i tried so hard to put flowers out for you. Yeah. This is the reality of my life. Intentionally, like, purely, like a poorly curated thing. But then you see the truth, too.

When you were, like... I think so, for sure. When you were, like, a little girl in, like, kindergarten, like, kindergarten graduation, and it said, what do you want to be when you grow up? Do you remember what you thought? A little...

A pioneer woman. What the hell does a pioneer woman mean? Like living on the frontier? Like Laura Ingalls Wilder. Wow. I wanted a bonnet, and I wanted an apron, and I wanted to, like, you know, like, boil a pig. Like, that was all so quaint until we got to boiling a mammal.

Is that part of Monsterland coming out? Is that a scene in the new show? Goodness gracious. When I was actually looking, I saw Caitlin Devers in the trailer, and I was like, where do I recognize her from? And I kind of went through her IMDb, and I got low enough where I stumbled upon something where

it was just like, range. I was like, Caitlin Devers is in Monsterland, and also starred in Barney. What two projects do you think you've done where you're like, I can't believe I was in both of these? I've done it all. That's so funny, though. She starred in Barney?

Yeah. I was obsessed with Barney. I've done so much. I mean, what have I done? I mean, I would like... What I think of, what I'm thinking of in this moment is the time where I was in New York and sent

on some commercial audition where they asked me to skip down a park bench. They brought a park bench into this warehouse space and they wanted me to hop on on it sort of like skip like everything like i'm skipping it was an anti-depressing commercial that's what people do skip down park benches and then there was a mannequin at the end and they want me to kiss the mannequin and like make out with it a little bit like just like a like with it a little bit. Like, just like a, like a, like a horrifying, like mannequin.

This sounds like somebody's deep dark cape or something. That was something horrible. But that, that, I, I think of that and I think I can't believe I was there and now I'm here. That, I don't know how that bridge was crossed, but it was. Those are definitely two different two different genres I'll say I mean I don't know I I don't know I've done so much weird before uh before Orange is the New Black what like if that didn't happen what do you think where do you think you'd be oh I mean see this is the thing before orange is the new black i've been after so i went to

nyu i went to grad school to learn how to like breathe out of my armpit and be an actor and so i went to grad school but like after grad school i was acting like i was making money and like paying my rent and it was fine like yeah yeah so i felt like I'd always felt like I was like living the life. Right. Right. You never had that struggle. Like, like the struggle. But like I was like, I probably would have just kept, you know, I was just like, I love doing what I do, you know. So I was like when that happened, I was like, yeah, but like I was I've been doing that. I think that's the biggest like you made it moment when not like the the massive contract not the massive shot on the massive paycheck just like the okay i'm doing what i enjoy and i make enough to live yeah that's it

and like like when we first started making enough like blogging where i'm like i don't have to that was always my goal think of yeah like all right i'm good now i got it you know i'm not i don't have some lavish lifestyle and all that stuff, but, like, I'm doing what I like, and I can sustain myself on it. Consistency, yeah. So I made it. Well, I was looking at – Yeah, I mean, I told – that was my experience totally.

Just, like, I feel – yeah, like, that was everything. Like, what more could I possibly have wanted? When Schitt's Creek cleaned up at the Emmys this year and everyone was telling the story about Annie Murphy was, like, had burned down and she was like, I'm done with that. I'm not doing any more auditions. And then she landed Schitt's Creek. But now Schitt's Creek's over and it's like, well, I don't even know that. Yeah, it was like her life was like truly rock bottom.

And she had said to herself, like, if I don't get this, I'm going to go do like a regular job or whatever and then lands the life of roll of the lifetime. And now, you know, you would assume that this opens a lot of doors and stuff, but you know, when you don't, when you haven't had that consistency, the way you landed, it's, it's, I mean, it's a scary industry. If you're kind of like going like hail Mary to hail Mary, you know? Yeah. I mean, I think it's the thing. I think actors are,

I think we're all living in a space of absolute uncertainty most of the time. But like actors just have to deal with the reality of that. You know, like we other people like a nine to five job, you can kind of like, like you still might get hit by a bus. I mean, everything, nothing nothing's certain like nothing is in your control but you we can kind of like fake it but like you as an actor you just can't you you are like in constant constantly confronting the fact that there is no certainty i mean i hear like yeah is there as an actor is there is this is this your first time on a set of like this

magnitude of a horror movie or of a thriller, psychological, however it's classified? I mean, I did a movie once that was a very weird horror movie. That was another moment in my life. That wasn't the making out with the mannequin. There was something scarier than that? Okay. Is there a different vibe on it it's just a terrifying thing about like but like the like left turn like the choose your

own adventure where that could have gone yeah so um i uh no not one that was well written like this and like kind of with the caliber of cast and the director and the way it was set up i mean this is this was like a real guilt show i mean it's beautifully written is the is the vibe super different on these things like like is it are they actively trying to get you unsettled and things like that like i remember hearing about like jared leto on when he's the joker and he's trying to like mess with everyone's brains by like sending them like condoms and stuff like that yeah the exorcist was one like that too too. They made the set really cold, and they used to make banging noises to keep people on edge. Yeah, no.

No, we're normal. That was weird shit. Yeah, forget Jared Leto, that psychopath. But it is, I think there's been maybe, I feel like American Horror Story and House on Haunting Hill, there has maybe been a little bit of a revival or renaissance or whatever you want to call it of these kind of shows that I think really work.

And it's not gory or too gratuitous, but it's well-written, like you said, and it's fun. And it comes out this time of year and everyone wants to be scared. It works out really well. Yeah, I think it really does. And I think there is something where...

I mean, this show just does it on the nose, but I think in general, kind of like these shows allow us to just in sort of a safe way, confront really shadowy parts of ourselves. And that's fun. That's good. That's not like, it's, it's a great mix between. Like it's, it's titillating, you know're not it's you it can become mindless because it's so all it's all encompassing that's how i feel about horror stuff it's it becomes mindless because it's so consuming it like consumes all of you watching it it's so uh does the anthology aspect of it allow you to kind of change how you approach it? Like, do you just let it fly?

Like, fuck it, whatever, going back. I think that, like, the idea of having a different cast for each episode, it was just, like, everybody had a juicy little part, and you come in for a couple weeks, and it's, like, done. And the, like, weight of the world is not on one person's shoulder. And it was just such a fun job for that reason, knowing that it was this great contained thing and you could kind of go in go and go like full all all the way and then um you know you're done that's it yeah you just leave it all in the field well we're about to uh we're about to go down a dark path with the game that we call answer

the internet and where we're going to hit you with questions that are from the deepest, darkest corners of the World Wide Web. Are you ready? I mean, best of luck to all of us. Let the inner demons externalize here. First one. Let the inner demons externalize. Really, that's what this is.

Would you rather have toes for fingers or fingers for toes? Toes for fingers or fingers for... Toes for fingers. Toes for fingers or fingers for toes? Toes for fingers or fingers for... Toes for fingers. Toes? Oh, no! Little stumps? How do you eat? Look at me trying to open up

my bottle with my toe fingers and shit, you know? Oh, no. No. At least, like, fingers for toes. I can't buy it. I think having... You can actually kind of use them but like like i could imagine trying to use them but like if my fingers were toes i'd be

flip-flopping all over the place yeah you just get a size like 13 shoe and you just run around it's like you can hide those at least you got a big clown shoe and you're good to go also i have baby fingers so i i have toes for fingers aesthetics and more about functionality but continue all right let's see toes for fingers if you could have footage from one memorable moment in your life what would that video be which by the way is an interesting question like going forward kids are gonna be like we already have all the footage you know what i mean i know that's weird but i maybe that maybe that mannequin moment that's

that's someone's got to have it somewhere right see it i know that i don't know about you like on it like that camcorder somewhere i mean someone has to but i i that got pulled out of recesses of my brain i can't are you sure that wasn't like a just a nightmare you manifested like that was a paid gig was that some weirdo like that was real that was that was real um would you rather have one song stuck in your head for the rest of your life or never be able to hear music again wow i don't know that's tough it's really hard because there are some songs i could see myself, uh, Ferris Hollywood's not America just came to my brain.

Don't know why it's on the sad boy season playlist. Um, but like, there's also the, the aspect of fear where that could just, I mean, that could drive you crazy. One song. Absolutely insane.

I mean, I think I'd lose my mind. That's why I would say no music. I think I would go crazy. I think eventually, like if I couldn't stop, even if you love the song, even if you loved it you'd hate it and if it was like smash mouth all star you would go bananas i mean isn't that also torture yeah that's what they do right they blast music and just upgrade that's how they torture it's not i think they leaned if zero block 30

zero dark 30 taught me anything. It's they lean towards the heavy metal, which isn't a genre I'd be dabbling in here, but it's, it's definitely a torture method. Would you rather lose all your old memories or never be able to make new ones? Lose all my old memories or never be able to make new ones. Wow. These are so good i think in in in the name of being in the name of forward motion you know lose the old ones everyone's gone huh i don't think must be nice to be someone who's been in your life at this point not interested but you never like i don't think you can like uh i feel like so much of like your decision making is based on the past where

it's like well i remembered last time i did that like i got hurt or i got injured or i you know and that's yeah that makes me want to lose all my memories that's but i think that that would be like absolutely that would liberating that's a full freedom yeah you get to become a whole new person like you forgot where you came from yeah i did completely completely gone um all right we got two more for you here would you rather drink exclusively hot drinks for the rest of your life or you have to move to and stay in forever Boise, Idaho? Oof. Oh, my God. That's a good question.

That's a good question. I'd like, you know, I'd be cozy all the time. All right. All right. You're working out, right? You just ran like a half marathon and then it's like. Oh, that sounds like a nightmare. Like a hot coffee, you know? Yeah, that's horrible.

But I would do, I would prefer it. And no shade to the people of Boise. I was going to say, you just lost all 45 fans in Boise, Idaho. Goodbye. All right, last one. Yes. What is one rumor, true or false, that you'd like to spread about yourself? I would like to spread the rumor that in my off time, I am a shepherdess.

Not state, New York. I'm boiling pigs. I can just see the TMZ headline now. Taylor Schilling boils pigs? I'm just a sweet pioneer woman. Just little house on the Prairie. I loved the show as a kid. I didn't have any desire to move there, but I enjoyed watching it.

I know. I know. I read all the books. Obsessed. Well, you put the flowers out, so you're on your way. You did that. All right. All right.

Great stuff. Thank you so much. So Monsterland is October 2nd on Hulu. It's great for the season. It's going to be a lot of fun. Very scary. Very, uh,

titillating. As you said, thank you so much for the time as always. Thanks. See you guys. Bye. Bye. That nobody can see And all of these emotions Are pouring out of me

I bring them to the life It's only like this is The soundtrack to my life The soundtrack to my life To my life To my life To my life To my life To my life To my life, to my life, to my life To my life, to my life, to my life

To my life, to my life, to my life Yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah