KFC Radio - Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce Dating Rumors are Confirmed by Brother Jason Kelce - Full Episode

Episode Date: September 21, 2023

Timecodes: 02:35 Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce 06:57 Hasan Minhaj lied a lot in his special 30:00 Lauren Boebert Getting Felt Up in Theater 41:26 Raise the ticket prices for broadway 46:32 Video Voicemails 01:18:48 Gary Gulman Interview Preview +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Stacker2: Buy Stacker2Chew Energy Gummies and B12 Energy Shots at Dollar General, where you can find all your favorite Stacker 2 products, or go to https://Stacker2.com. Gametime: Download the Gametime app or go to https://gametime.co, enter your email, and redeem code KFC for $20 off your first purchase (terms apply). HelloFresh: Go to https://HelloFresh.com/50kfc and use code 50kfc for 50% off plus 15% off the next 2 months! CBS: Buddy Games, new Thursdays at 9/8 Central on CBS and streaming on Paramount Plus BetterHelp: KFC Radio is sponsored by BetterHelp. Visit https://BetterHelp.com/KFC today to get 10% off your first month.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. So, uh... So Joe Biden said, that is one of the funniest things I've ever f***ing heard. Today's episode of KFC Radio is brought to you by Stacker 2 Energy. It's another edition of KFC Radio on the Barstool Sports Network. Many, many people might notice

the change right now that my microphone is on the left side. I know people are looking at those details. How long has it been broken? My microphone. An infuriating amount of time. My microphone for my audio podcast has been broken for legitimately

a couple months. I was going to say months, yeah. They changed the mic out. Didn't do anything. They changed the plug out. Didn't do anything. Today, Nick just grabs a microphone that is 36 inches away and just moves that one over. He goes, oh, yeah, that one's perfectly clean.

Perfectly clear. Motherfucker. It is nice to... I mean, it could be like... It's fucking with me, by the way, though. It's over here now. It is like... You're a double mic.

You look like you're at a press conference. There you go. Any more questions? We could do the rest of the show like this. The... Yeah, I don't know how... I mean, I use that mic every day. Not every day, but every interview I use that mic.

Right, you go over there. How stupid are we? How fucking dumb are we? It's not even like, oh, that was the forgotten mic. You go sit there every time we do an interview. Always used. And we're like, yeah, that one works. And then you leave a working microphone and I go back to a broken one.

Insanity. I'm sure they clean it up, but legitimately four to five times a show, if I were to even go like this, if I just move my mic, I used to be moving it all around. I trained myself to stop, but every now and then I want to fix myself, so I would just move it, and the producer would stand up and go,

put your plug back in, and I would stop, plug it in, and re-say what I was doing five times a show two months I so I haven't been in the room for like a month and I started listening to the show so I'm like caught up on it it's not getting cleaned up that much you're you're just fucking silent most of the time and it's I'm like god damn it so I talked to the control room they tried to switch one shit I don't know I'm I'm at the point I'm about to just buy all new equipment well that's i i said at one point i said fix the fucking problem and they were

like okay and then it didn't get fixed and then i even got a text from jackie being like i fixed your microphone and i was like to jackie i don't know if that's her forte exactly. And she didn't. Okay, what do we got today? Let's start with your girl Taylor. Okay. I mean, this bitch has got to stop dating famous people. She just has to stop. Well, I don't think you... Come on, that's crazy, dude.

She's gone through like three fucking major boyfriends in like a year. It's like... If that was a friend at that age, you'd be like, stop. Just be single. Yeah. Stop it. Stop it. Well, no, I wouldn't.

I love friends who have a fucked up life. Well, yeah, that's true. Like, I don't know. The... It is... It's not what I'd do. Yeah. Yeah, you're right.

Like, the overwhelming irony of like, you wouldn't tell your friend to do anything, but you will scream at a celebrity. Yeah. If it was my friend, I'd be like, I mean, I think you're an idiot. Yeah. If it was a guy, I would say like, I mean, I think you're an idiot. If it was a guy, I would say, you're an idiot.

I wouldn't be like, stop doing it. I'd be like, you're an idiot. I've had guys, I'm like, that dude, that chick sucks. Well, no, I mean more like if... I never say that. I will never be like, I hate that girl. I only did it one time. I told the story before. I'll never do it again didn't do anything um but if if somebody was like i was in a relationship broke up it was a problem dated another guy or girl that was like

an issue and then like two months later you're dating i would be like just be single stop stop no but then i would be like whatever i would do I always do, which is I would tease them about it until they stopped. Right. Right. I wouldn't have an honest conversation. Do you remember when – I'd be like, whoa, look at someone dating a new famous person, huh? And I'd needle them until they stopped.

That's exactly it. Exactly. That's what friends are for. That's the difference, I think, between guys and girls. I think guys are there to needle you and make fun of you and bust your balls until you change your ways. And girls just do it behind your back. I'm not trying – like when I do that, I'm not like trying to – Change you. Change your mind.

Here's the thing I always – I don't always think, but like, I thought recently we're like, it was like yum yucking. You know, I, I am a true believer in don't yuck your yum. Yep. But also I'm, I'm a true believer in like, if it is my yum,

you can't yuck it. Like, like, I'm unyuckable. Like people make fun of me all the time for how much I like Taylor Swift. I like Taylor Swift. People make fun of me all the time for how much I like Fast and Furious. It's like,

but the times I've faked things, the times I've been like trying to convince myself I like it, then it gets to me. That's an issue of security. And as much as we joke around about no self-esteem, I think we're both very secure in what we like and don't like. It's just like, I don't care. I don't care what you think. It's the difference between saying you don't care and truly not caring what other people think. Because a lot of people do.

Because when you are trying to put on airs, you do care because you're trying to impress them. And when you're getting teased about it, you're like, they know. Right. So like I – Yeah, you're feeling it yourself and then you carry yourself that way. When I saw the Out of Order skit about the Spotify raps. Yes. And I heard that's real. Not to that extent, but that people will play songs overnight

on mute to get their Spotify wrapped to say certain things. I was like, yo, if you do that, you should legitimately kill yourself. Remove yourself from society. That is insane. First of all, nobody has to see.

You don't have to post it but if you want to post it so bad and you want it to look a certain way that you schedule playing music that you don't like to show other people that you listen to music you dude my mine is the exact opposite and like i i'm mad when I'm like Drake. I am as basic as a fucking comic. Yes, totally, totally. My shit was like – I thought I was like unique and I thought I'd been listening to that new Counting Crows live at – where'd they play?

It's what I'm listening to right now. Whatever, but like some live – I hate that. Live at Town Hall. And it's very disappointing when it's like it is all Drake. Mine is always all Taylor. But then I cross over with that too where I'm like, I'm not in the top 0.01%. Yeah, that I do show a little bit of pride in.

I've never had an honest shot at it because my kids have half of it. So, like, I'm never going to get into anybody's top all one percent i would like to know i don't know what do you by the way what do you do at night what do i do last night you texted me did you go to do that you want you to text me a podcast clip were you just like like i do you text me a podcast clip and like are you just are you just listening to podcasts at night or did you go to listen to that to find the clip? I went to listen to that to find the clip. Okay.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That would be weird. It was like 11 o'clock at night and I said to you to find the clip. I was like, have you just been around listening to podcasts? Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, that's an interesting topic as well. I saw the article in The New Yorker about Hasan Minhaj and his special, which I think this is kind of crazy. I really like him.

He's a cool dude, and I thought he was like – I was very impressed with how far he made it. And just like, cool guy, likes basketball. I thought we clicked. All good, and I still think that is true. But the report in the – The whole thing is weird. It's an article in the New Yorker that talks about how the stories in his special are not real.

But it's including him in the article. It's not like a hit piece, really. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. It's not like accusatory, but it kind of is. So the tagline is like his special. So is he the one?

Did he admit it? That's what I don't get. I wonder if he was trying to get ahead of it. I wonder if someone came and asked for a comment, and maybe he said, like, let me sit down with you. Let's play ball. Yeah, yeah. Or maybe this person was not really writing it. You know what I'm guessing it is?

He's going to get the Daily Show host and people are going to find out. That's a great idea. That's a great point. I actually thought he already had it. He was one of the guest hosts and stuff like that. That's a good point. There must have been a groundswell of people being like, this shit isn't true for him to do this yeah and and that so the article is like uh his his act talks about experiences of racism and um and and all this stuff of being a muslim american and an

indian american you know period and it's just like does it matter that that some of these things never happened so it wasn't it's almost it's all it was more like positing the question like yeah hey is this okay what how do you feel about it? Rather than being like, this motherfucker is lying and he's special. And so at first I saw that and I was like, this is bullshit. Everybody fucking exaggerates. Everybody embellishes. You take this guy from this story and this place, put it together to make it better.

And then you learn the stories of which is true and which is not. One of them being that he went to prom with a white girl. And when he showed up to the house, they were like, you're not good enough for her. And she went with a different guy. And he made a joke about dating white women. But it was like, yeah, that was the first time I really experienced racism or whatever, prejudice for being Muslim. This is not true yeah that and and that girl he put her picture up on the fucking big screen during his act and i think he like lightly blurred out her face but he left the boyfriend in and i think he used her name like

it's like the kind of i mean it's not like it's a bit like i can vividly remember the billboard right the red dress. Yeah, yeah. I haven't gone to watch the special. I watched it when it first came out when it came on the show. But I remember the picture. It's a prominent piece. It's not like a quick, here you go. No, yeah.

It's like. Because that part of his act is having the big, big, big, big screen. At least just use a fake prom picture. Right, right. Or just, you know, like you don't even need to. Well, there is with that. Like I, you and I texted about it last night. so I'm going to repeat myself to you a little bit. But, like, the, I don't think anyone else would check other comedians' jokes. Like, you wouldn't be like, was Shane really in Australia and a guy pulled his hat off?

Yeah. Like, it would, you, but Hasan, or Hasan, his, a lot of his jokes have points. He's actually a perfect Daily Show host. Yeah, it's a little bit preachy. It almost becomes a little like, this is a thing that happened. The joke, that's not a punchline. Right. That's a...

Well, and you know what? Usually, in that act, in that special, if you've seen it, there is like a punchline. And then he like turns to the camera and he's like, but that's when I realized that I had – and it's like – Right. There are jokes in it, but the point isn't to make you laugh. The point is to make you think. And which is like – I mean you're still doing your job there. I'm going to have like a real wishy-washy take on it because like I see both sides of it.

We're like – but I do think at times he's using the i'm a comedian as a crutch where it's like but you're not being a comedian right there yeah right there you're being like a daily show like a and that's and actually in on the other kind of the other side of things that's why i never cared about brian williams when people were like he's a news anchor like he was on the couch telling a story with his phone we're like people don't realize those guys are basically actors. He wasn't delivering the news. He was telling a story. That was a little weird, too. That was weird, too, but that one was like –

He said he was on a helicopter that got shot down, right? But he said it got shot at, and they were on a helicopter, and they landed in a hot zone. I don't know. Oh, I thought he said he got – it was like Black Hawk Downs. No, but I was like, I don't know. That's fucking – you're telling Stephen Colbert the story the story maybe you got shot at and maybe the bullets were just flying it's like bro i'm trying to keep my 30 million dollar a year job i gotta i gotta keep up the act but i agree with that the only thing so there was a story about the the family that

was basically racist the story about um once he started, once he started getting big and he was talking about politics a lot and putting his opinions out there, someone mailed him a letter that they thought had anthrax on it. And in the special, he says he opened it and the powder got on his daughter and they went to the hospital. None of that was true.

There was a letter mailed to his house. They thought it was anthrax. It wasn't. That was true. Never went to the hospital. Nothing ever happened with the baby. And that was also a big was a letter mailed to his house. They thought it was anthrax. It wasn't. That was true. Never went to the hospital. Nothing ever happened with the baby. And that was also a big point where he said his wife was like, if you ever endanger our children again.

And she still could have said that because she's like, yo, we're getting weird shit mailed to the house. That's why that was particularly weird too. Just don't go to the hospital. Just say that. Yeah. Because, bro, and let me tell you this. You, maybe I'll just say this for myself.

You can embellish any which way you want if i was ever telling a story that shea got anthrax yeah and went to the hospital and it wasn't true and people found that out i would be mortified yeah mortified like that is i don't know it's karma shit like you're putting that out in the universe you're using your kid for that and like you just didn't need to you could have just been like a letter got sent to the house that's enough dude the you could even still say the same thing your wife said like a wife would absolutely still be mad about a fucking letter of anthrax showing up even if you didn't sneeze it onto your baby bro i remember the back in milton when someone fucking put a dildo on Dave's door.

First lady was like, cause they like that. That's enough. Right. To be like, you just know your home has been invaded. Quote, so to speak. We're like,

people know where you live now. People, people who want to hurt you or at least scare you know where you lay it. Like you're not comfortable in your own home anymore. That's a violation enough. That, and that's like, so that's what makes me feel.

So there's two parts of it in my mind. There's like the business side of it where it's like, can comedians do it? The other side of it is just like, that's a really weird lie, dude. Yeah. That's a,

like, I don't like that. That, that line about your kids getting anthrax. And then the last one was the story of brother Eric, who was a white dude who converted to Islam and they were playing – they played basketball together and stuff. They hung out. And he said, I knew that he was, like, working, like, for Al-Qaeda.

Like, he was in, like, a splinter cell or whatever, right? And then one day, like, it turned out that he was an FBI informant. And the whole story was that his dad was like brother eric is like so good and hassan was like no no you know that guy's a little weird and he was like and i was proven right when one day the police showed up and he made a joke about a bomb yeah this whole joke about getting his pilot's license right yeah like all these things about like 9-11 and and that guy's in the article and he's like i have no idea why he would say any of that because that guy that guy is a real person and he's just like we used to play basketball

and the old white guys used to like we we would joke that the old racist white guys who don't like us would like foul us hard and like so that's what we would joke about like that stuff but that is so now like you're telling you you're using a real person saying that he was an fbi informant and might have been involved in terrorism you said your baby got anthraxed and the family who he used in his special said that they got like death threats and letters and shit being like you're racist loud aggressive and straight out of the attitude era i'm not talking about feidelberg man i'm I'm talking about Stacker 2. The original. The OG

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I think those are two. Maybe one. Maybe they want. Maybe it's all homecoming. all homecoming i think so yeah yeah i'm pretty sure it is yeah yeah i think you're right that's right even if it's always spread over two that's a lot to have three lies that if you lie and it's just a joke i'm fine with it if you lie and it's a joke and you're using it for preachy messages about racism stuff i get a little bit like meh because it's a joke and you're using it for preachy messages about racism stuff i get a little bit like meh because it's like you're now you're now fabricating racism yeah but at the end of the day that race that kind of racism does exist and if you want to comment on it that's fine so i'll give you like a half pass if you lie and it's preachy and it negatively affects other people because

you use the real names and there were pictures and all that shit that is you can't do that it is like i'm like i'm like towing the line because i do think like comedians should get to tell their stories right like yes like when you talk to dave bargazzi bargazzi is like like one of our favorite stories is bargazzi with the horse yes and dead horse and climbing my mont rainier yeah and he's like those are two different days like weekends or whatever. But those are still true, and he just kind of melds them together, and it's like – It's one of those things – and actually, when people always say slippery slope, I'm like, I don't think the slope is that slippery unless you want it to be kind of deal. Unless you slide.

So if you start being like, well, this and this and this, and every comedian's joke is like, yeah, it's fucking – no comedian was like, I was at the mall last week. No, you weren't. Yeah. That's what Daniel Tosh has that, where he's like, I was at the mall last week. No, you weren't. Yeah. That's what Daniel Tosh has that where he's like, I was at the mall last week. No, you weren't. Tell your joke. I mean there are guys who even say like, so I was at the mall last night. No, I wasn't.

That's just the premise for my joke. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's fine. But the – yeah, this is obviously bigger than that. Yeah. I didn't know brother eric was real i i i i thought it was just like the prom thing and that was like weird but it was whatever like yeah i don't know like a family which like that that i thought was just real like i don't know like that doesn't surprise me that

like what a white family in california that's what i mean like those stories even fabricated someone i'm sure someone had that experience yeah you know so like go. And I don't think it's just white families that do that. I'm not surprised that a white family would, I'm sure. Totally. I think Akash said on Flagrant that the Indian family would have said it more if he brought home a white girl. Yeah. It's like a joke, and it's allowed in Italian and Jewish culture. Where it's like, it's not an Italian, it's not a Jew, what are you doing bringing it to me?

Yeah, that is a very normal thing but then if you're just joking about like the greater thing don't specifically put someone's fucking face on your spot yeah i mean that is that that is some sociopathic shit where you're lying and you could just get away with it by that girl probably would have been like that's not how that story went down but whatever but you put her face and her name out there crazy dude absolutely fucking crazy and like and uh akash was saying on his podcast that like 10 years ago 15 years ago whatever they had a private conversation sitting eating dinner and and uh hustling till hustling told that same story like like not in front of cameras not on the mic committed to the bit i can't yeah i mean

i yeah he's the uh daniel day lewis uh the meth actor yeah he's been he's been you know that that is some shit though like there are people who tell lies for so long they believe it you know yeah like you start to lose the but i I do that, too, with, like... Where I'm like, did that happen? Like, I actually... If I'm not positive about a story, I've started telling it. Like, that's how I remember it. Yeah.

Yeah, which is smart to do. Because I think people just do that where it's like, that... Like, I did it on radio the other day where I was like... I think Lou told the joke or, like... Because I don't know who it was who told it, but, like... It's weird, like, you get it in your head where you're like head i'm just telling the story and then like someone had to have said it i'll just pick someone yeah and then someone's like no i said you're like oh okay whatever but those are immaterial like it's like fine whatever you know if you were saying though like you know

hank one time said like i'm racist yeah you gotta get that one right. You know? That's a good point. So, I mean, the whole thing just felt weird. That might be – you might be right that like this feels like I got to get ahead of something. So let me do it with like maybe he knows someone at the New Yorker. She writes this article for him. We'll tell the facts. We'll pose it in a comedic license way. Let the people think what they want. Because as I was reading it, I was like, I was like, okay, you know, like I said, I like the guy.

And okay, yeah, that is an interesting question. It doesn't matter if it's real. And then I was like, wait, what? No, this is fucking crazy. So they were kind of leading me down a path of, like, this is just poetic license. And halfway through, I had to realize, like, we're lying about babies getting anthrax and people being racist and people being terrorists. Like, these are big fucking lies. It is particularly, like, weird. I don't know.

Like, the jobs. It's to make you think. I don't know. Like, that's not what I wanted to do anyway. So why don't you, like that's not what I wanted to do anyway. So why, like why don't you just tell me the jokes? But also,

I was reading like a thread on it where it's like 99.9% of racism isn't something that you care about. Yeah. Like it's just little things.

Yeah, so like you make it. So you have to make it. But then you, but just keep it anonymous. Yeah, like my girlfriend in high school.

But also, but that's like, the story, that show doesn't have to be about that unless you want it to be. Like if your life is just – like I think Dave was kind of hammering this with – and we've kind of said it before too. It was like just work – just focus on yourself. Just think about yourself. And like when I'm like – I'm just always Just trying to be like I make myself The center of it

So there's nothing Anyone else can do Does that make sense? Yeah yeah yeah It's like I control my own story I control my own work I control

I can't hurt people I can't It is It is all about me Whereas most of his things Are about him But they're about What people did to him

And they're bad things Yeah You know If it was funny things Or just like But not real yeah it's not real yeah yeah i mean i'd rather i would rather i find out that that dude just completely made up those things i would be more willing to forgive that it's like oh he's you

know he has an imagination he came up with this racist thing and told it in a funny way yeah then he took a real story and twisted it and put it on someone that's one like i i'm not a professional i'm not anything like that but i feel you can tell that story in those jokes without without it being you and then therefore it's fine or even like i you didn't need to put brother eric's name on it i didn't need to see the picture you can tell those things in generalities and it still would have hit And you can tell it as a story Rather than like this happened to me This is like

I don't know how to do it I think there's a way To tell that story And get people to think that way You want them to think Without having it be like This happened to be on Motherfuck giving like dates and

stuff yeah right dude we can just check the police report that was another thing um he said it was like 2002 this is a little bit nitpicky but it just goes to show how deep the lie went he said that brother eric was an fbi informant for like homeland security or something like that yeah and it was 2002 and that division didn't exist until 2006 and it's like so it's just you know yeah i wonder if that's how deep the lie went or that's how little he cares yeah it's like i just said this thing yeah yeah yeah um but you know that's also where you get in trouble and i would i would venture to guess if i had to guess i don't think this is gonna like he'll probably still get the daily show he'll be fine i bet when he goes into comedy clubs for the foreseeable future people

will be busting balls yeah and i think that is because he goes down the road of like commentary comedy yeah you know if those were just jokes i think people would make fun of him but they'd be like it's's all good. I, I think there's probably already a vibe with him again, totally speculating. I don't know. I mean, I know, I just know some of the people in the comedy world, but they haven't said anything to me, but like, because he does those little after joke things of like, and that's why in America it's hard for a Muslim, you know, the, like if he, if he didn't, if he just took all of those out of his set and just told those jokes

and they were lies, I think people would be like, whatever. But you get preachy with it and he obviously leans a certain way politically and you start to go down that road of commentary and thinking and all that and then that proves to be false? And I don't think it was... You know what it feels like? Which has been

very swept under the rug and never really mentioned again. Remember when, like... It's like one of those things, I think if you're, like, happy about this and celebratory, like, you probably wanted that you were like, like, see, he's a liar. Like, you're probably a little bit fucking racist yourself. Right, right. Like, that doesn't happen. They're a liar. Like, you're excited to have something to point to. And, like, it kind of goes to saying, like, there has to be a big thing rather than people just acknowledging that it's mostly small things.

And like – remember LeBron? What? Like LeBron had someone like spray paint on his house. Oh, yeah. Like – Wait. It's a good point that I don't even really remember like the full details of the story. He had someone do that?

It was – I don't know, but I think like it – because it was a big deal and then disappeared everyone's like wait yeah what about that it was like somebody put like the n-word on a garage door right yeah i think it was a front gate or something like that or but like yeah i'm not saying this didn't happen but like it i think people point to it now was like it was a big deal and never brought up again a racial slur was spray painted on the front gate of James's home. Police receive a call Wednesday around that. This was in Cleveland. My family is safe.

That's what's important. Yeah, I do remember this. And then it just disappeared. I actually probably shouldn't even brought it up. But like it does where it was like I remember being such a massive deal. And then the next day it was nothing. And I was like, that's kind of weird. But maybe that's how LeBron wanted it.

I have no idea. I mean, it seems a little – you would think LeBron would not want that. Yeah. But I think he was probably like – it's just different when I think you're trying to get me to think a certain way rather than laugh. Yeah, you open yourself up with that where there was like – Norm MacDonald said about the problem with Bill Maher where he's like he's not a comedian comedian. Like he's a comedian who wants to make you laugh. Bill Maher – I think he also talked about – what's the name of the guy who used to do Monday Night Football with Kornheiser? Miller.

Dennis Miller. He's like, they want to be smarter than you. They want to be on stage and show how they're smarter than you. They want you to think a certain way, kind of force you to have this ideology in a way, and that is never really cool, I don't think, in comedy, but certainly right now is the big hot topic.

And I don't know if that's completely true with Hudsonusson. I think it kind of is. I think also. I'm not sensitive. I'm skeptical with it because, again, I like him too. So I'm obviously pussyfooting. But, like, I think Husson, you know, I mean, he's a political correspondent on The Daily Show.

He had a political show on Netflix. He's not just. There's obviously another side. He does the fucking correspondence dinner for a reason. So once you start getting your career advanced in a major way because you go that direction, and then that kind of is like not true. It's like, oh, well, now you're fraudulent. You know what I mean?

So, I mean, I also – if I – I don't know him enough to say whether I think he's taking the stage to be like, I'm going to try to be smarter than you. I think that is just an element of truth that like – I think most people would be like, oh, he's also a well-learned man. But whether or not he is like, I'm going to – like that's the point because then you're just also a real asshole too. Forget about the lying and the morality of it. Just like, oh, you just want to be like a nut with all. Ugh. So either way, I would imagine, I mean,

if I'm him, I don't think he's that much of like a hit the comedy seller, hit the comedy store, like do my squats. I've seen him drop in the cellar before.

Have you? Yeah. I would probably chill out, lay low for a little bit. Just do the daily show and sit on your fat checks and, you know,

watch out for those anthrax messages. That's crazy, though. GameTime, the exclusive – exclusive – what did I just say? Exclusive tuketing partner. I didn't catch that. GameTime, the exclusive tuketing partner of Barstool Sports, created by fans for fans. GameTime is the tuketing app that allows you and makes it easier than ever

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enter your email, and redeem code KFC for $20 off your first purchase. Terms apply. We can't not talk about Lauren Boebert on this show. We talked about it on Barstool Radio, so if you listened to that, you heard some of our thoughts already. But it's just one of the all-time great American tales. And it's the perfect story. By the way, I'm sorry to interrupt. You continue, please.

No, go ahead. I don't know if you were going to like it. I want just that clip. By the way, I'm sorry to interrupt. You continue, please. No. Go ahead. I don't know if you were going to like – I want just that clip. By the way, I'm sorry to interrupt. Please continue. It was something that I meant to say on radio the other day, and I didn't, which is a funny thing about radio. We're like here.

We're in our safe space, and it is – I can tell this real quick. I don't know if you feel with radio, but there's a way that i can tell us real quick i don't know i wonder if you feel with radio but there's a weird dynamic sometimes where it is like i either will say things that don't have to be said or won't say things i wanted to say because i'm like they're all gonna hear it and i mean like oh really and like interesting where i'm like i don't know like i don't want to, really? Interesting. Where I'm like, I don't know. I don't want to fuck you. Here, it's just us.

We're just talking. I mean, I... Whereas there, it's a more open space. I'm like, I don't know. I'm not just talking to my friends here. And I don't know. I get what you're saying. I guess it's like doing anything where you are, quote unquote, performing for your audience.

Here, our audience is jacking pads. I'll say what the fuck. Fucking retards and the like out there it's like it's not like i it's not like i won't i'll just say things differently it's like anything like if you're doing a show you kind of like i'll say it this way i'll do it i get that i think i have committed on barcelon radio to being a little bit more of an asshole because like someone's got to do it without Dave to be mean with ease. Like, you know, I mean,

it's happened several times. I'm just like, and then fucking Nate said blah blah blah. I know he's right there, but we gotta do it. That's not the kind of talk I was talking about, though, where it's just like I guess I can't really think of how it is. It's not like a specific person I don't want to upset. What triggered this?

Lauren Boebert's not like i'm not like it's not like a specific person i don't want to what triggered this uh just like like lauren bulbert's not that hot she's but she's politics hot exactly she's athlete funny yeah with looks yes where i was like i don't want to get into this with everyone in the office she's sarah palin like she's you know it's the same basically the same fucking thing yeah i mean she does have bombs it is like those those tits are undeniable go go back to that last go back to that i see like politics bro that's hot come on yeah yeah no you're right you're right look at those tits dude that's what i wanted to get it's politics yes we're playing a different game for sure you put her up against an instagram model it is i mean i would fuck that girl in real life i would fuck that girl in real life. I would fuck that girl in real life for sure. She's a grandma. She's a grandma?

Yeah. How old is she? She's like a 38-year-old grandma. Oh, okay. Well, that's funny. That cracks me up. That's why you're giving handies in the fucking club. Grandmas are getting their titties fondled while vaping Beetlejuice.

America's got a problem. We are rising. I love it. I love it. America's back. That chin. I'll tell you what she needs. She's the chin done. That thing's got to go, dude.

Come on. You're in the big leagues now. You've got to get that chin. Are we in a sorority house? Do a little work here. If you're going to be in it, you've got to go toe-to-toe with AOC. You've got to get your fucking chin done. I was going to say, those are fake, right?

That doesn't look like a very believable bottom third. Yeah, but I'm just saying, it's at least like people are asking. People are asking, are those tits fake? I love that Pat's put the question mark in Google. So they're just gigantic, whether they're real or fake. What's crazy is that this girl is like, this is my moment now. No. See, I don't know how.

I think Lauren Boebert's a much bigger deal than you knew. She's had a million moments. Today, this is probably, I guess, the this is i wouldn't even say this is her biggest mainstream moment i mean i guess she's the the drag queen girl that was her yeah but she's like like she's a very big this is her not not powerful so to speak but like she's a popular politician this is her jump into me like outside of politics uh for sure yeah yeah so like this is where you become like i have aspirations of the white house one day what did there was an onion article i remember reading it on in bed on the blackout tour uh about how it was like i think the headline was like all 2040 presidential

candidates have been eliminated because of their facebooks or something like that and the complete opposite has happened. Yeah. Whereas like you, that's how you rise to prominence. You need a bigger thing. You need a scandal to get big. I think we've actually just, I think we've just reached the point of under,

of these people really understanding that. I think Trump was like ahead of his game. I think people started to realize like, even, even like, you know, Morgan Wallen and these people who benefit from it. think they were like oh wait shit like this is okay not only is it okay we're doing better and now i think you're gonna see people like weaponize it where it's like because you i mean it's an old that's an old attack it's that's another thing is bad press

yes but i think also like uh i want bad press i think is where it's at yeah i want a scandal because that rallies people where it's like, oh, this person needs me to fight for them. And that's what these dumb motherfuckers do. They all, you know, rush, rush, immediately rush to someone. Like I said, I had so many people being like, it's just two adults, like, consensually, you know, blah, blah, blah. I'm like, why would you be so quick to just defend people hooking up, getting handjobs in front of people in public? I'm not saying they should belong in jail. I'm just saying it's hilarious. But it's – they're on my side.

I will defend anything. So it's better to just be in the public eye for something that gets you the most eyeballs, which is something salacious, and then you get the most support i i would not i would i would i would think that something like this is perfect and would will try to be like replicated like let's do something a little bit scandy but not illegal let's do something that some people will think is funny or cool you'll get support blah blah blah blah blah and then these people are like you know i'm not saying it's gonna work by the way i'm just saying that don't be surprised in 2028 or whatever she's like i'm running for president i don't know she lost her last she her last or like or like you know i have my own show now i'm on fox news or you know all that i think that's more her side uh the because she she won

it funny enough she won in a recount um she But she initially lost her seat In the House last election Before we knew that she was given hand jobs In the theater though You make yourself the girl Who fights for children Against the drag devils And I'm also hot

You probably have a new Fan base now. A new voter base now. I know this isn't disqualifying, but she's also really dumb. Come on! Brother! No fucking kidding! She's at the regional performance of Beetlejuice, the musical, giving handjobs!

Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't think Trump is a dumb person. She does things where I'm like, that's what a dumb person does. Trump is super savvy. She's not sad yeah she's i i still my favorite trump moment forever and always will be when he asked about nuking the hurricanes because that was pretty dumb but so real like we tried to blow it up yet america like oh i mean yeah everybody everybody kind of went Well I mean Did it work? I don't know Have we tried it?

I saw Armageddon It's I will just also I just dropped to my knees And thank god That it was in Beetlejuice It's just like Well it's also

Very unfortunate Like Beetlejuice is forever I can't make We kind of talked about it With like It happened with Veep Where it's like I don't know I can't make we kind of talked about it with like it happened with Veep where it's like

I don't know I can't make fun of this it's that one truly is beyond parody like trust me I've tried to think of something you can't do it

it can't it can't be thought like that is the parody or I guess I guess someone smarter or funnier than me could do it but like I

was thinking on it for all weekend I was like how can we do this what ordinarily would have happened would be like, they were at Hamilton and then you and Sass and Owen got a hold of it and said, what if it was the regional performance of

Beetlejuice? But it was. That is what's fucking ridiculous. People were even defending that part of the story. Imagine getting fucked while bugs are crawling Out of someone's face

Are you getting harder? What the fuck She's like hotly whispering I can feel you getting harder Wait are you getting harder? Bro there were people Who were like It's the same show

And it was at a really nice theater In Denver it's not that crazy and i was like oh my god yeah you feel the need to to defend what show she's going to you're not like you're not wrong like i get it like i grew up going to plays in like providence and boston and they were like the new york uh troop on tour and stuff like that and my mom would always be like it's the same it's not not it's not the same like even as a kid i be like, it's the same, it's the same. And I'm like, it's not. It's not the same. It's not. Like,

even as a kid, I was like, it's not the same though. Like, it is. And even, we're at the PPAC. I'm almost,

yeah. Yeah. I'm pretty sure that it also isn't usually like this. That guy's in a fucking Patriot sweatshirt. Which is not to say,

like, on Broadway, people dress like shit too. It pisses me off. But, uh. Yeah, well, Broadway went a little mainstream,

I think, over the last 20 years or whatever. the mean the most outrageous actually that's the only way i could get crazier is if they brought when i went to see hadestown and the motherfucker next to me brought their uh they went to chili's beforehand raise the ticket prices on broadway let's fucking tell me he brought let's get that back right leftovers uh they brought it was two women brought their leftovers cracked open their calamari in the middle of the performance. I was like, what the fuck? I was sitting right next to everyone.

I was like, is John farting down there? No, I'm not farting. This animal next to me is eating calamari. Raise the prices. Raise the prices. No, no, no. Price those people out. If you're taking Chili's to go to eat it at the fucking Broadway play,

I don't want you there. Pay every bottom line, baseline ticket price should be whatever Hamilton is. That's what every play should be. Yeah, I grew up thinking Broadway was like, I'll never go to a Broadway show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not because it's not my thing. I was just like, I won't know how to do it. I won't afford it.

I can't. You know what I mean? Just like, that's not. And it's like going to movies. Yeah. No, really. I also think that like too many shows – Don't you animals want to – I mean I guess it is kind of like –

I'm in a fucking pig pen watching people sweat on stage. You're ruining the art. God damn. John's become a Broadway snob. I love it. No, I bet. He's there with his monocle looking on the stage. Quiet down, you pigs. I've been a Broadway snob, I love it. No, I bet. He's there with his monocle looking on the stage. Quiet down, you pigs.

I've been a Broadway snob, dude. Try to watch the art. I guess you – I get that out loud groan when they announce the understudies tonight. I'm like, ugh. I think it probably is like the movies, right, where there's a bunch of good ones every year. There's only going to only one good movie but i feel like maybe i don't know if it's me uh knowing about it more or the internet or whatever but

i feel like every i hear like every show is like the best show ever yeah you know and like when i was growing up it was fucking cats cats was on theater only play i've ever walked out of that how how cats ever grew to be be Broadway's longest running show. If you lived in New York, we saw that commercial on like Channel 11, Channel 9. Every two seconds, it had that fucking cat going up in the air on a tire. And it would be like, at the Winter Garden in Manhattan. It's Cats, Broadway's longest running musical. I could repeat it in my head.

And I was always like – I was too young to be like – I was like, it can't just be about a bunch of people dressed as cats, right? And then it is. I thought it was like that's just the name. And I was like, but those people are wearing those Cats costumes. And then when they tried to make it a movie, I think the world evolved past Cats. Yeah. The movie was like, this is the worst thing we've ever fucking seen in our lives.

Also, people were worried about the buttholes. Is that, what do you call it? Like, what is this? Why would anybody, I actually never watched it. I planned on watching it because it was, Taylor was in that? Yeah, I think a little role, but yes.

That's how big of a disaster it was. Right now, if Taylor did something, like a movie, it would be no matter what. I still think Cats would fail. You think so? You don't think you'd have Swifties being like, it was great. Taylor's part was great. I don't... It's so bad. It is so bad.

I've never seen it, and I know it's so bad. That was one... We go to plays as a family seen it, and I know it's so bad. Like, that was one. Like, even, you know, we go to plays as a family a lot. And there were times when my dad wanted to leave, and I was like, no, what's the thing? And that was one where my dad was like, we're out of here. And she was like. And Polly was like, yeah. Wait, so you saw that recently?

No, I was a little kid. You were a kid. Okay. I was a little kid, yeah. So, I actually think think in a weird way though broadway needs cats yeah yeah because that that was back when people would be like no it's on broadway you know like like everybody watching that had to be like this thing fucking sucks yeah but we have to like protect the the stage almost you know so that's back when it was just like

the emperor's new clothes. Everyone's just pretending, and it's this thing you put on airs. Now I just feel like every show is groundbreaking. Every show is Broadway's longest running, Broadway's biggest, blah, blah, blah. It's like, they all can't be that, can they? So bring back the snobbiness,

price out poor people, get racist, do whatever you gotta do to make Broadway great again. Give me a vaudeville show. I them out. Get racist. Do whatever you got to do to make Broadway great again. Give me a vaudeville show. I have 42nd in Broadway. Bava over here. All right. Voicemails, and then we'll get into – do we have an interview today?

Gary. Oh, hell yeah. Gary Goldman is just the nicest dude in the world. Truly the nicest person in the industry. It's so easy to, like, win me. But, like, at one point in the show, I mentioned the BCFSU game. And I mentioned my dad went to BC. And he's like, Isley, that's right.

And I was like, you even kind of remember that? You remember that? That's fucking nuts to me. We talked a little bit about Seinfeld in the beginning. And I feel like sometimes people pussy fit around their real thoughts on Seinfeld. And it's like, I think Gary tells it like it is, and it's good coming from the nicest guy. Yeah, yeah.

I really don't think you could find a nicer person than him in the industry, show business, entertainment, whatever, you know? So we got Gary on the back half. Let's do voicemails now. I had an almost disastrous issue last week. I forgot to put in my HelloFresh order. You might starve to death.

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and use code 50KFC for 50% off plus 15% off the next two months. They're just giving it to you. Go to HelloFresh.com slash 50KFC Use code 50KFC. What's up KFC, Fidelberg, the boys, Jackie. Quick question.

Self-deprecation is obviously a pretty big running theme of the show. So what do you think is one thing that would be considered a weakness of yours that with the slightest bit of effort you could turn around and it'd be a strength? Thanks. Whoa. That's a – wait. I have to repeat this. What is a weakness that I think if I turned it around?

With a little bit of effort, it could be a strength. I mean, mine's my home life. Like, my apartment. Okay, okay. I could go home and, like, I actually was, like, thinking about this weekend because, like, this weekend was, like, not great. I just, like, I this weekend because like this weekend was like not great I just like I wasn't feeling it the whole thing and I was like it's actually so easy how you can tell where like I

It's a little different for me because I have dishes next to my bed, but like if I But like I was gonna try so hard to be serious And it's kind of a real topic. It's a little different for people. You know how it is. And everyone has that. You know how I do.

I think it's a long thing. You can tell how bad you are. Yeah. It's actually nice. I know right away what kind of day I'm going to have. When you wake up on the wrong side of the bed, I know. Totally. Is it dishes up or dishes down?

Yeah. I wake up and I put my feet on the floor and I'm like, not tonight. Not yet. I just go get in the shower and that night I'll have two dishes in my bed. And there is like – today I had like – or this – and I still do actually. But today I cleaned it up a little bit. But like I'll have like pants on the floor in the living room and socks on the floor in the living room. It's like I just can't do it today.

And the – I know if I put a little effort, I can get it better. But also I know like I just – I do – it's almost like easier for me to leave it and i i guess there is you know you can fall into holes and that kind of stuff but like there are days i wake up and i'm like i want to like i cleaned up all this morning yeah like i feel great and i like because it's like there's a difference in like wanting to do it or because you feel good or doing it because you think it'll make you feel good yes totally and like i prefer doing it when i feel good yeah and like i like it's like this morning i woke up at like wait till you have a good day and then and then i did cleaning i did so yeah not a lot not too much this morning but like i at least i ate this morning and i was like okay today's like

i know what today is totally but and i guess with effort i could spin that around and I could like have a nice apartment and all that stuff. And I well, I go back and forth. Like, first of all, I think it's wild that depression manifests itself in the form of like leaving a towel on the ground. Why? Why? My our brains and our bodies are like, I'm just not going to pick that up. And you don't realize this because you're depressed. It doesn't matter.

Yeah. But so that i i do sometimes i this is probably like a you know your broken brain trying to spin it to keep thinking the way it's thinking but sometimes i'm really like it does not matter if that pair of pants is on a hook or on but ground. But it really does. But it literally doesn't, but actually does. You know what I mean? It's just a piece of fabric, and it's either here or there. The world does not matter. That doesn't change anything in the world, but it does to your brain. I'll even deal with my doors when I walk by my –

I have a bathroom between my bedroom and my living room. I'll see if the doors are open to my laundry room, right? Right there. And if they're open, I'm like, all right, it's one of those,

like you're not going to go close that. Are you? Okay. Yeah. Right. Yeah. But it's also like, it's like,

I like something I've done recent months and stuff where I'm just like, I just give myself that. I'm like, okay, we're not gonna do it today. But that's what I mean. Like, it's,

it's not, but it isn't, it at the end truly doesn't matter. Yeah. I'm like, okay. We're not going to do it today. So that's what I mean. Like, it's not – it isn't – at the end, it truly doesn't matter. Yeah. Like, so – But you can't, like – You can't let it slip and all that. You give yourself it and you're like, okay, you get a day. Yeah.

Whereas, like – I wonder if there's something, like, animalistic about, like, animals groom themselves and keep, like, their cave or whatever, like – Oh, I guarantee. Yeah. So, like, we feel the same way about but it's not like i mean like we wash our bodies and shit like but something like your clothes clothes being folded like you know biologically makes you be like yeah you know but i um And I think there – the days – so my thing is like my body and diet and exercise and all that shit. And I think there are – like if I could harness what I feel like when I wake up in that 5 o'clock hour that I've talked about where I wake up initially.

Like when I first wake up too early, I am like, I cannot live like this anymore. And I go back to sleep and I wake up and I'm like, time to start the day. And then I just have – I do this and I run home and I go to practice. I mean I am just constantly running around doing something that when I'm done, I am done. Yeah. And it's like if I added the gym into it, it probably in the long run would be good. But I cannot even imagine having to do the gym also. Because then there are days like Fridays we usually don't have a lot. But I'm like, I want to chill. Like I need one day to chill.

But that should be like the day I finally do something. Yeah. But I think if I was not – if I didn't have a broken body I think I think everything would have been better Everything would have been better I gotta fucking I think the thing with that Is like

Like I think about that every day It's a pretty common thing But like I feel like whenever I Was younger And I like started working out I was like

I'm gonna look like Brad Pitt And it's just like Oh that shit I was like, I'm going to look like Brad Pitt. And it's just like, Oh, that shit. Yeah. Like, I just like, I think my, my favorite joke of all time. Yeah. That, that was, that was the joke that before I want to be the before picture. And, and like for someone like yourself, you're probably like, like, just, just jump rope and like, you'll be fine.

But that's, you know, the dishes for me or whatever. I'm just like, I'm not doing it. The jump rope is a huge one. It's so easy to have. It's like the for me or whatever. I'm just like, I'm not doing it. The jump rope is a huge one. It's so easy to have. It's like, I got the 20 minutes. Yeah. But the other thing I have that if I focus, I could probably do it and I won't is Connections, the New York Times game. It infuriates me.

I fucking hate that game. Of course these two. Of course these two. You haven't even heard of it. i have no idea what it is i feel like the people who make it think that like they have it like i'll be like how the fuck was i supposed to guess dude they're trying to trick you they're trying to trick me and i won't stand for it like the bowling thing they do this where they put five that all fit. And they're like, oh, guess what four it is.

It's like, I only have four guesses to guess. Wait, wait, wait. It was like a spare. You're not explaining this well. A spare got me. You're not explaining this well. I'm looking at this and I can't even comprehend it. No.

So like spare, lane, ball are all bowling things? Oh, no, but you would think they're spare. You would think so, Kevin. No, but you only get four of them. Oh. So, the ones that are most specific to bowling? I would say alley, pin. There are four separate groups of four words.

Oh, okay. Okay, I see. So, all of them are going to get clicked? Yes. Okay. So, mug. Close, Pavs. Real close.

I would say pins got to be a part of bowling. That's correct. Nope, that's one away. Okay. Wait, so it's four or five? Four. Four. Okay.

Okay. So then you got to think what other categories. I would take alley and go to ball. No. Alley. So, yeah, you really got to think about all the categories at once yeah okay because alley is also going to be like what is alley in there extra alley pen fuck this game yeah bro i've been trying to play it and it's like this is such a funny answer for this question you're like my depression I'm like my

hell you're like connection it is so god damn annoying and like I mean I can't figure this out it's that like there's the top it's like there's extra something so spare goes with um backup extra and copy the top, or it's like, there's extra something, so spare goes with, um, backup,

extra, and copy. Oh, those are all multiples of things? Yeah. Got it. See that? I like that though,

because we were dumb being like, it's bowling! And it's not. But there is a bowling. Lane, alley, pin, and one,

I guess? No, ball and lane. Yeah, there you and one, I guess? No, ball and lane. Yeah, there you go. That's got to be it, right? Huh. Okay. One? One.

Is it 4, T, 8, 2? No. No? Merch. That's insane. It's harder. The green is obviously easiest yellow and then i mean merch is like the biggest fucking you can sell everything bro the purple ones are so goddamn hard it's i would have got that before like i i started to say 4t8 like i was i was thinking that

way with numbers before i was thinking of merch the um it's it's it's an impossible game i get it wrong like i get it it's like i get it wrong six days a week and then like i get it one i'll be like all right next week i'll fucking these are good things to do though because i i bet you uh your brain like i i am you know i've been saying for a while i i'm forgetting like a lot of shit yeah and i'm like starting to kind of get worried about it that i'm like all I've got to do stuff to keep my brain going. I'll play matching games with Shay where you flip this over and then flip that over, and she whips my ass. I'm like, all right, I'm going to try to win this one.

Smokes me. She's like, Daddy, you only have two connections. I've got 14. I'm like, fuck. Puzzles, she bangs out jigsaw puzzles. I'm like, this is not going together. All right. That's a great question.

Fuck that guy. Ruined my whole day. That's going to be voicemail of the week. Calling all campers on CBS. Summer isn't over. It's just only beginning at Camp Buddy Games. With the kids back in school, it's time for adults to have all the fun, and with Josh Duhamel as the camp counselor, it's going to

be a blast. Inspired by the real-life tradition among Josh and his friends, six teams of best buddies reunite and relive the glory days of the ultimate summer camp throwback. Their friendships will be put to the test as they battle it out in an epic competition. From giant beer pong to cornhole to the muddy buddy

pit, the games will push them to their limits. With $200,000 on the line, only the bestest of friends will make it to the end. Let the games begin. Buddy Games with Josh Duhamel. New series premieres Thursday, September 14th after Big Brother on CBS and streaming on Paramount+. I feel like that is a great idea. It's truly like a bunch of dudes who get together for like the

first time in a while. And it's like, ah, I haven't seen you in like 10 years. Like let's go compete for 200 grand. And it's like, we used to be best friends. So you fall right back into it.

And you also might win $200,000 and you're doing all the shit you used to. What's money buddy pit by the way? I would imagine it's a muddy pit that you are, uh, something like a, uh, uh, like three-legged race type deal with it. Okay. I just made that up. Muddy Buddy Pit.

I'm going to say you're in mud wrestling, but you're a buddy. But the buddies is important. They said it alongside beer pong and cornhole, so I'm like, that must be something very popular right muddy buddies delicious treats yeah okay wait muddy buddy oh it's a mud run ah it's like a mud run um so head over to cbs on thursday nights nine o'clock or paramount plus yo kfc fights whole crew um got a question for you guys just got back from vacation uh i was down in new zealand and fiji um when we were in fiji the hotel we were staying at is the place where all the love island people were and jackie you could definitely do that definitely hotter than like

some of them um but anyway with all the traveling I've been doing, kind of really got me irritated about the people who stand on the escalators and the moving sidewalks and don't like move out of the way and just kind of stand there and ride the whole thing out instead of letting me just walk past. So what is your guys' biggest travel pet peeves? Thanks. If you categorize that as a pet peeve i'm fine with it but i mean i'm probably the king of these things

but i get i'm at a point where it's just like don't i'll i'll get out of your way i'll give you the left lane but yeah if you stand in the hallway you're an asshole but i don't think you should you should expect people to walk up the escalator. I'm fucking staying still. I love when someone stands because guess what? Gives me an excuse. I can't move. No, escalators. Escalators to me.

I'm parking my ass on the right side. Moving sidewalks. I like to walk because I feel like I'm flying. Yeah. Biggest travel pet peeves. You know, the typical like people get up on the plane too early um i i i think it's it's uh mine is um that doesn't bother me i i i do not run into that nearly as often as talked about i i don't think it just doesn't affect like i just look at that person like why are you getting up so early like like? I fly a good amount. It doesn't harm you.

No, it's not a ton, but I fly – I guess in our world I don't travel a lot. I guess in everyone else's world I probably travel a ton. Yeah. And I don't run into it as often as people say. But also when you do run into it, who cares? If anything, they are ready. When they – like the one out of 20 times I fly, I might see it, and I'm like, you fucking dick. But I get they probably have a connecting or whatever.

Totally. That's what I mean. And then they are ready to rock. I stand up. On the flight to Auburn, I stand up. I'll even do the thing... My legs are like... I want to stand up and stretch.

So even if I'm underneath the thing, I'll kind of bend down a little bit down a little bit it's like why do you fucking care yeah if you're like i don't know stepping over me and causing a scene then you're an asshole but i don't let the person stand up i think there are uh oh i i have this is this is not this is not plane travel i'm just thinking about transportation if you don't get out into the intersection yeah to make a left turn and you just stay at the line and then i i'm stuck with the red light i am running that red light and i'm gonna run you off the road and kill you i will i will i will get out of my car and i will kill you with my bare hands i think it's just so fucking stupid and obnoxious and i and i'll do a little toot honk and like being like and i and i kind of go like this. Can you just go out a little more?

And they're like... We need... You know how in Tesla, your horn can say things? I did not know that. You can program your horn. Because if somebody made the horn humdrum, is there a horn? Oh, yeah, yeah. I need like five buttons.

I need a horn that says, can you please move up a little bit? I'm trying to get through the light, too. Nah, but you can do that. It's all in the hand. Yeah, but these people... Yeah, yeah, you please move up a little bit i'm trying to get through the light too nah but you can do that it's all on the hand yeah but but these people have yeah yeah yeah these people are fucking stupid i need one that's like i'm late and my ex-wife is gonna fucking kill me please let me go please let me get around you i but then you would you would abuse those you know yeah you need buttons like i need that button i can use five times a year like a muscle watch you know like i and then once i've done my five like that button no longer works for another 365 because then you start abusing them but if it was like i'm not being an asshole i'm

actually in a rush it's an emergency or whatever it is i'd be a lot more inclined to be like oh let me get out of this guy's way or like let me you know help out or whatever we need to be able to talk to each other it is kind of of weird that traveling via cars, there's no communication. It's just road rage and guessing what the other person's doing. It's like, we'll make one side of the car blink and the other side of the car blink. That's it. The rest,

figure it out. I'm not going to do that. I've said before, my college roommate, he just run red lights that he deserved. Totally, though. I deserved that. They were going too slow.

I should have made that. Yes. If that person wasn't there, I would have made that. A hundred percent. Yes. If it's clear, I didn't get there in time. But if they were doing their job, we all would have got through. Yep.

My buddy's dad was a statey in Massachusetts. And I don't know if this is universal, but he had said that in their battalion or whatever you call it, if the excuse was unique, they could go. Really? That's cool. The one he would tell us, they pulled over some fucking Russian car, some car speeding, had the fast and furious lights going like 141 night. And they pulled over, and they didn't turn the music down. He going like 141 night and they pull it over and like, they didn't turn the music down. He's like,

it's going to be a drug bust. Like this is a big one. And he gets up there and it's a Russian guy. And he's just like, I had to drive off the car. I had to drive off the car. Drive off. You know,

I went to car wash. And he's like, all right. I think that would work. If you're like, all right. I didn't see it. That's fucking great. I think that would work if you're like, the guy in front of me was going slow, and I deserved that. Yeah, it's his fault. I wouldn't have caused any danger if we had just gotten through.

He actually caused the problem, your officer. But my biggest pet peeve would be, I guess I have two. And one is rather timely, the Delta sky lounge um that's like broadway like i i don't i i said i don't even know if i'm allowed in the delta sky lounge anymore but whatever the rules they made are good because i i never i was i'm foreign to the whole delta sky lounge thing i didn't realize that it was a thing that people loved and i didn't even know yeah like because i just i never traveled at all so prior to like barstool so i never got it but people loved it because it was like you could lounge it was like nice you could yeah free food it was fine it wasn't like gourmet meals but like the drinks were free dinner was free right and like and then they opened it to

everybody and then they opened it up like yeah it got easier and easier to get in. And then it was just way too big. You couldn't find a seat. It was jammed. It wasn't fun. And it is fine. I thought it was overrated when I was there. Because, again, the food's fine. It's like finger food and shit like that.

You're probably not getting better in an airport, but it's not like, whoa, one of the best it's eaten. But then you can sit and like all this, I was like, this sucks. This isn't even fun. Like some, particularly some of them are like, you know, there are some really nice sky loungers. Others are like a fucking closet. What am I even doing in here? But the, so that's one, the pet peeve of too many people being in the sky lounge.

And then what do they do? They made it exclusive again? You have to be the first class or something? It's not first class, but you've got to have, I think it was like 6,000 sky miles or something like that. I don't know exactly what the rules are. I remember seeing the number 6,000 flying around. But the other one is, it kind of goes hand in hand. There are too many groups boarding planes.

Yeah. I agree with that. Dude, like it's like first class. You're like the seventh group of people to get on the plane. Yeah, yeah. There's like the military and then the handicapped and then the special. And then after first class, there's like four more groups. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I'm not talking like zone one. Group eight now boarding. I mean before you even get to the numbers. I mean it's like then you have comfort plus And then you have this It's like just put the poor people below Like we're going to do soon anyway It's how we're getting there

It's just like we keep moving seats Like these are more important And by the way we're not changing First class seats now are just regular seats First class isn't getting better Everything's getting worse They don't want people to fly in economy First class seats now are just regular seats. First class isn't getting better. That's what's happening. Everything's getting worse. That's what's happening.

They don't want people to fly in economy. That sounds bad. Regular. So they call that comfort. Then comfort plus. And then first class is just like. First class has gotten worse. First class is just an old.

Everything's kind of like met in the middle. But not even really. Everything's regressed. No, it's just the top has become the what used to be the norm where it's like 99% of the time like first class is just a regular ass plane yeah it is not like you see those videos of like the fucking uh i don't know swiss air or pods and beds yeah like that i think when you fly international first class if it's a direct flight it's probably pretty baller but everything like domestic is going to just be a fucking chair yeah well i figure where did i just come home maybe a little bit of an armrest i think it's when i came from louisiana the leg leg leg room is like not

like totally regular now but but that one i had like one of those ones that were like beds and like people were like going crazy i've never seen this on a domestic plane i was like like it's fucking new and we're flying for three hours I'm not going to go to sleep The first time I had that when we were flying back from California It was the greatest thing that's ever happened to me But those aren't most times You'll see your influencer on Instagram Have their room

Most of the time it's just a regular ass seat That's all it is So they're making everyone else's seats worse And it's just like Give everyone regular seats. It's all 9-11, bro. It's all because of 9-11. It's so annoying.

9-11 just fucked air travel forever. And we're just going to let it be that way. It's crazy. We can just get rid of like those taxes and TSA and all this shit that was necessary for like probably six months, 25 years ago. And make everything more affordable and then the stuff that is expensive is actually worth it but instead we're just going to keep taking off our shoes and sitting in shitty shitty seats like it's forever for fucking ever there's just just eliminating the middle class we're eliminating the middle class okay it's fucking

crazy all right last voicemail joe biden tweeted the other day i think i think if you go to college philly you go to middle class i don't think you should have to go to college to be middle class kfc radio is sponsored by better help do you ever find that just as you're trying to fall asleep your brain your brain suddenly won't stop talking brother do i ever it's the worst and as i'm what i'm learning is that like it's i thought it was just me i thought i've you Won't stop talking. Brother, do I ever. It's the worst. And what I'm learning is that I thought it was just me. I thought I've got a weird life, a weird job, some fucked up shit happened, whatever. I'm learning that like everybody my age goes through it.

I'm like, why didn't you tell us about this? Probably because we wouldn't make it. Do your thoughts start racing right before bed or any other inopportune moments? It's like right when I go to bed. It's right at 5 o'clock in the morning. It's terrible. One great way to make those racing thoughts go away, though, is to talk through them. Therapy gives you a place to do that so you can get all the negative thought cycles out and you can find some mental and emotional peace.

Yeah, I think what people don't realize about therapy is just saying it. Like, yes, of course, having a licensed therapist on the other side of the screen to help you through it is a good thing, and that's what BetterHelp provides. But it could be a frozen picture of somebody. As long as you're talking it out for real, just get it off your chest and be like, all right, I got to go. I think you'll realize how much you benefit from that. So whether you're going to text or call or do video chats, BetterHelp gives you the chance to schedule it on your own terms. You don't have to commute. You can do it from your own home. And so if you're thinking of starting therapy for the first time, give BetterHelp a try. Entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your

schedule. You just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist, and you can switch therapists at any time for no additional charge. Get a break from your thoughts with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash KFC today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P, dot com slash KFC. KFC fights, wrestling gang. I got a would you rather for you. So would you rather die from falling out of an airplane and a parachute not working

so you know you're going to die well before you hit the ground, or would you rather die in a Titanic situation where you're sinking, everything's going down, you basically know you're going to die? First of all, we were in a tank or something, right? I thought we were in a train. As a conductor, it clearly isn't because it paints the road at the end. Yeah, that, I think that's got to be it. I mean, man, to be honest, bro, I couldn't even understand the question because I was too busy. Yeah, it was a conductor. It clearly isn't because it pans the road at the end. Yeah, that – I mean, man, to be honest, bro, I couldn't even understand the question because I was too busy.

Yeah, it's a Mack truck. That looks like which buttons shoot the guns and which ones shoot the missiles and shit like that. What kind of rig we were in. I was trying to figure that out the whole time. Is that what big rigs look like? Not even big rigs, but like a Mack truck? I've only been in one once.

Look at all those fucking dials. Yeah. What is that? There's speed and there's gas. What the fuck is the rest of them?

I guess it must be, but I don't remember this. We're not men. We're not men at all. Would you rather have a parachute that you know is not going to deploy

and you're just floating to your death or, you know, not floating, but falling or Titanic slowly like Oh, parachute. Yeah. I mean, like

what the fuck? I mean, Titanic is like, I've been with a parachute before and I get mad when they pull the parachute out. That's not even a joke. That's not even a suicide joke. It's just way more fun when I'm like now I'm bored. Oh, yeah. Yeah. They've been parasailing. We're just like, well, I'm just sitting here.

Yeah, they should. There should be The fear of something might happen is gone. There should be skydiving for experts or whatever where you can pull it at like 100 feet. Yeah. You know? People who are like, I'm not an expert, but like, I don't know. I'm good with whatever happens. Right, exactly. People are just like, whatever.

Yeah, because you free fall for like a second and then you you i float for like five minutes right i've done it twice one day was a really cloudy day and like we we right away we shoot we pulled the shoe and like so i was just sitting there like that sucks falling through a cloud truly like you jump out and it was like like i never even saw the ground. The rush there is just jumping. Yeah. And it was like, but like,

because everything's pulled up. So you just got to you just got to sit a fat baby. You're like this. You're a babysitter in one of those baby boards. Floating through the sky.

I'm like, all right. Can we pull it in again and go a little further? There we go. Pull it in again. Cut that thing. But the second time I went, we and go a little further? Go in again. Cut that thing. But the second time I went, we fell for a lot further,

and it was a nice day, so I saw a lot more. How fast did you pull it on the most dangerous game? It was pretty fast. Like what do you guys mean, like 10 seconds? No. Five seconds? I would say my first one was sub five. Wow.

I would say we were like 10. My second one was probably 15 something like that but like maybe 10 i don't know that my i don't know a good 10 is a long time you know to be fucking flying through the air my first one was like right away and you just you don't you you got you would you put your arms out right so you're not like moving or anything like that right no yeah because that's where it gets really like talk My friend kept trying to talk to me, and I was like, well, now we have so much more time. I don't want to make conversations. My buddy had a – Yeah, I mean you got somebody like their dick strapped to your back.

You got to like talk to them, right? When I was – this is probably the same summer actually. One summer in Newport, my buddy's car broke the radio, and when we would like – we'd like go party at like Buddy's apartment on the Cape and stuff like that, and when we would like we'd like go party like buddy's apartment on the cape and stuff like that and when we drive he had a note he had cheat sheet of just things to talk about and we caught him one time like what's in your hand over there wait while you were driving wait wait what a cheat for you guys to talk just like for topics we'd be like you guys see what's going on? Your friend? G-Man.

G-Man had a cheat sheet to talk to his friends? It was like one time, but it was like a... It better have only been one time. What? I actually don't even think I was in the car. I think I was in a different car. I think he had prepared it I think he was going with our buddy Sully Were they not friends?

I think they met So Joe Biden said That is one of the funniest things I've ever fucking heard Put that in a skit right now Do you have a cheat sheet to talk to me and then they became like best friends because they started bagging on them yeah the focus of cheat sheet over there so megan fox and machine gun kelly broke up i can so vividly remember like sitting on the couch in our living room and watching g like writing like, what are you writing? He's like, I just stuff to talk about.

My man has social anxiety to the maximum. But I was thinking about that because, one, that was the same summer. That was our first skydiving. But, two, having like fidgeting so much in the skydiving, he's trying to be like, hey, hey, settle down up there. Settle down. And then he's pulling out. He's like, so what do you think about the Ukraine? Settle down. Settle down. And then you pull it out. It's like, so what do you think about the Ukraine? Settle down.

Settle down. All right. Last one. Oh, that's right. OK. Cool. All right. Let's get into our interview with Gary Goldman.

How are we doing, dude? I feel great. Yeah? Yeah? I feel great. Yeah. How about you guys? Fine.

OK. I'd like to give you more energy than that. Actually, it... Pretty average. What time did you have to get up today to go to work? I got up at 9. Put it this way. We're now on our fifth hour of recording.

Pat's played late last night. Oh, right, right. I stayed up late Saturday. It's a whole thing. A nice run of home losses. You guys stink, by the way. I honestly still don't think they stink. Dave thumping his chest like we're a top five team in football.

He said last night after the game, he said we might not be top five. Okay. Finally. The most ridiculous point I've ever heard. Yeah, probably not top five in the AFC East. I still think there's something. I still think there's something. I still think there's like – This is where you guys are truly first.

This is your first foray into like being a bad football team. Here's the thing. Watching it, and I've already touched on this a bit with you last night, where like I think it's because we've been so lucky with so many championships where like everything's at a lesser – I'm not speaking for the fan base. Unless you listen to sports radio in Boston. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But for me, I'm like, I wish they were better, but they're not. I'm the same way. But it's clear. One thing that's been proven beyond reasonable doubt, I feel, it's sort of the – I call it the Larry David principle in that you compare what Seinfeld has done without Larry David. Yes. And you compare what Tom Brady did without Bill Belichick.

It's clearly the genius. Yeah, yeah. B-movie notwithstanding. So you think Larry David was the true genius behind that all? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. Are you kidding me?

Right. Yeah. I think the – Is that a pro-Larry take or an anti-Seinfeld take? A pro-Larry, but also have you ever heard a story of Jerry Seinfeld being kind to someone? Well, there was. I actually always stick up for Seinfeld because of one particular story where he was railroaded by Gawker back in the day where it was like, look at this asshole. And it wasn't a video or anything like that. It was a story where he was in the Hamptons.

Someone had hit his antique car and he was a little upset about it. You start this sentence with my antique car. But it was like, I don't know. And in the Hamptons. As they say in Reservoir Dogs. It was like, he was just trying to get insurance from somebody and they were like Reservoir Dogs. It was like he was trying to get insurance from somebody.

I get it. Like you're allowed to. Yeah, I'm sure he was really polite about it. Do you even have insurance? Well, why would you even insure a car that isn't a 1911 Porsche Carrera? He is the definition of like pompous ass. It's just also just not necessary. Like you're so successful.

You're so much money, so much fame. You've got it all. Just like – But it's almost perfect for him. I'm still angry that in 1993, just out of college, broke, bought his book, Sign Language, and it was just his act. He had typed up and bound his act. And so when I wrote my book, which I came on to promote, I said, I'm not just typing up my act.

Because it was 1995, which in 1993, to a college kid, that was a lot of money. And the only solace I could take was, I remember looking at the cover and thinking, thank God I don't live in Canada. Why is that? I think it's the exchange rate, but also

it's they get health insurance, whereas we don't. In the long run you pay a little bit more for books, but you get your cardiac arrest covered. You know what's interesting that you say that? Because I'm going to come clean about something. I only got it Friday, so I've only read like 200 pages.

200 pages is a lot of pages. So many pages. But also he's rounding up from 160. Yes, I am! Yes, I am! I just started fifth grade. Why even? Why? It's just a nice round number, dude. 161 would have been fine.

At least I knew you were telling the truth. You should have rounded up on chapters. I'm up to the 10th chapter. Bro, as I was saying, I know he's going to call me on it. No, that you even opened it, I'm impressed. It's amazing. That means so much to me.

I love it. I'm such a big fan. But it's interesting that you said that you said that Jerry's was all his act. It's interesting reading it where there's some parts where I'm like oh he's going to go into a great depression thing right here and then you don't that's probably the previous one I didn't want people to seek revenge

on me 30 years later on a podcast Goldman sold me his act twice yeah but a few interesting things I remember from reading it. And again, I haven't finished it, so forgive me if you go on to explain it,

although I think I did hit where you do. You use God a lot, but you don't spell God. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That was in, I can't, I'm saying CCD, but it's not CCD. In Hebrew school. Hebrew school, yes. Jewish CCD. Yeah.

Yeah, you weren't allowed to write out the word God because it was using the Lord's name in vain. So I used a dash, and I'm still superstitious about that. You still won't do it? To this day, yeah. Just in case, right? Just in case. Yeah, just in case. This is one of his little things.

Everybody's got something that sticks with them. It might be a book from 1993. You're always up there like that. Motherfucker. little things. Everybody's got something that sticks with them. It might be a book from 1993. I don't know. You're always up there like that. You're just my name and name. All over that book. I'm some fuck up here. Those rules are so funny.

Are you religious in that regard? I believe in God and then I've cobbled together a religion based on... You are one man. If you told me this is the gospel of Goldman, I'm serious.

You, I think, out of everyone I've met in this industry, I think has the best moral compass and probably outlook on life. I think I would listen to you over, like, maybe anybody. That's really nice to say. I mean, I've put together this kind of philosophy or how I get by with like six of the Ten Commandments,

Christ's Sermon on the Mount, basically the closing piece, which was do unto others as you would have them and do unto you. That's the big one. And then quotes from the goodreads homepage so many really great ideas and thoughts on there i'm like all right this is this is one to live by we got this too shall pass yeah this too shall pass is from it's from yes from from the old

testament solomon at king solomon wanted a way he, make me a ring that will make a happy man weep and a sad man happy or something like that. I'm probably paraphrasing it badly. And so the man wrote on the ring, this too shall pass. So you don't get too high. You don't get too. It's very Jewish thing. It's laugh now, cry later. It's that whole thing.

But I've found thinking about that helps me through a lot of different things and can temper some of the unwieldy joy that occasionally comes my way. I'm like, all right, just don't get too cocky, kid. It's also the star wars yeah it's a good it's yeah probably the best i think it's the best piece of advice you can have is maybe maybe maybe more so for like work and stuff oh yeah like totally maybe not in you know love and family and stuff doesn't apply but when it comes to work and success and money is certainly fame and all that stuff don't get too cocky totally and i i really think everybody should at least kind of either journal or take down their their accomplishments and and things that they overcame because one

thing that i learned from doing this book is that every single thing that I became any good at initially was overwhelming. And I was like, I'm never going to be able to literally tie my shoes. How am I ever going to figure out six times nine? How am I going to ever get over my first girlfriend leaving me? And I just wish there was somebody who would say, you will figure all this out, even the girlfriend thing. Sometimes my wife will walk past me naked. I won't even look twice. But in 10th grade, I was like, oh, I'm never going to kiss a girl. And now I'm indifferent to a nude woman if the Celtics are playing.

If anything, it's like, put some clothes on. What do you know? The society. Right, isn't it? Yeah. We just, we figure it out. And so I just try to remind myself of that. Even in writing the book, initially,

I thought I have to do a really hard thing that I've never done before. And I kept going back and forth with the editor, and it would be try again. And I thought, oh, I'm never going to finish by the deadline. And eventually you figure it out or you give the advance back. Did you get a nice chunk of change? I did okay. Not enough where my family would be impressed, but enough where I was like, all right, this makes rent a little bit easier. I believe last time you were on the show, you said something about the money you have is like all you need.

Oh, yeah. This is it. I don't need a dime more than this. But it's nice to have. No, it's nice to have because we know that you really have to save for retirement or else you're in trouble in this country. But I feel like I will leave my wife with a nice nest egg where I'd die in an untimely death. And I'll get by in my 80s if I – We'll figure that out.

Exactly. I will figure that out. Exactly. I will figure it out. I hate how much we either through family planning or money and work or whatever it is, I feel like we kind of punt on our like 30s and 40s and even 50s for our, like, 60s, 70s, and 80s. And it's like, I'm not going to be able to walk at that age. Fuck it. Like, fuck now, you know? That's such a great point that we hoard all this money and time. We won't spend any time on things that really bring us great joy.

And it's great if your work brings you joy but also it's still work there's still anxiety and there's still pressure and it's just it's i i really i admire people who have two or three shows they're running at the same time that they've got this series and they're working on a movie and and i think no thank you i i like to be a guest star on things. I show up and go home. I remember I was in Europe recently, and they were talking about – I was at dinner, and someone next to me was talking about Americans. And we all know, you know, what's the phrase? Americans work to live. Europeans live to work or whatever it is.

Reversed. I think it's reversed. And they were talking about uh their friend and it was this guy was like i have this friend and she's a marketing director at pepsi or whatever and he's like do you know what she works 50 hours a week and he was like wow guess how many weeks guess how many weeks a year she works 50 weeks a year she gets 14 days off and he was like i work 30 weeks a year and i was like god i yeah but also to an extent like i can't like i've tried to give myself okay that's the real the real shame is that we've been like indoctrinated because it's like i can't even yeah even if i have a day

to myself now to do nothing uh two hours into it i start feeling guilty i start to do shit it's like i wish i didn't i have to for yeah no wish I didn't I have to force myself indoctrinated I used to like you know indoctrinated is the right word because we are a cult

of capitalism yeah I have a brother who is clearly ADD ADHD he we went to a Celtics game

one time Larry Bird's prime and I think Bird had like 36 points and 14 rebounds what do you think and he didn't my brother didn't pay attention to any of the game he was poking me Same one time. Larry Bird's prime. And I think Bird had like 36 points and 14 rebounds. And he didn't – my brother didn't pay attention to any of the game. He was poking me.

He was irritating me. He was going up for snacks. And back then we were just like, oh, he's hyper. He doesn't know how to behave at basketball games. By the way, he was 11 years older than me. You're picturing him being the same age as me. I was 10 sitting quietly. He was 21 years old. And so now he works with his hands and he's great at it, but he works ridiculous hours because he can't sit still unless he's working.

Like there's some guilt or something. And part of it is you grow up poor and you're always worried you're going to be poor again. So there's that. But it's also like the poor guy, he can't even take a night off to come see one of my shows. Really? That's crazy. Yeah. Such a bummer.

I feel like I would kill to be one of those people who are just kind of – just have a little bit more of a simple view of life and are just like, I'm good. Yeah. I told this a few weeks ago. I went to the cracker barrel for the first time and uh and on the menu it has a to-go option you can you can take some meals to go and i painted this like ridiculous picture of me uh of me and other people like you go to the cracker barrel you have your breakfast and you get like a meal to go and you take it back to your like like, modest but cozy house,

and you eat your Cracker Barrel on your front porch in, like, the summer sun, and you're just, like, thrilled, you know? You're just like, that's all I want to do. It makes me happy. And I don't know if those people exist, because I'm sure there are some people who are like, I don't want to eat fucking Cracker Barrel to go.

But in my mind, it was like so cheap. It was like soul food, comfort food. I was like, all I want to do is eat Cracker Barrel to go. Because in my mind, I romanticized it as something that's relaxing and you're not pushing yourself too much and all that. Yeah, Cracker Barrel is a big staple for comedians on the road. Really? Yeah, no matter how remote your show is, you usually have to do radio. If you're performing in a town with a Cracker Barrel, they're going to make you do radio in the morning,

at 6.30 in the morning, and then you're starving, so whoever is producing it takes you to Cracker Barrel, so you're saving some money. And then Cracker Barrel, yes, it's a restaurant, but it's also in the middle of a candy store and garage sale. Chachkis, yeah. Yeah.

And then on the outside, they make all their money on the rocking chairs. That's where the money is because the rocking chairs, everything else is like a nickel. And then the rocking chairs are hundreds of dollars. And they're strong. They're good rocking chairs. Everything else is like a nickel. And then the rocking chairs are hundreds of dollars. And they're strong. They're good rocking chairs. But that place is a furniture store with a breakfast. It's the first Ikea.

Yeah. Instead of meatballs, they serve crunchy fried chicken. I'm just thinking about some crunchy fried steak. Here's the deal. We'll give them the eggs for free. But that Rocky chair is going to be 600 bucks.

It's like, what is it, one of the movies? It's actually a pop-up. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Totally. And a lot of the stand-up comedy clubs, they're making all their money on the chicken fingers and the drinks because they're paying the middle acts a dollar.

Dude, let me tell you. Two things that I've learned having interviewed a ton of your peers. Number one, stop doing that radio. Stop it. You wake up at 6 in the morning when you're used to probably waking up four hours later to talk to three people. No, I know. Radio, maybe that was a thing back in the day, like way back in the day. Yeah. It is.

Just say no. Thank you. And the other thing is that the pay is crazy, man. Oh, I know. I remember Rich Boss and Bonnie told us that they hosted a show. This was like sometime last year. And they got $120 between the two of them. Two like lifelong legends of comedy.

Yeah. And they had the nerve to hand them five or six. My word. It's so gross. What? And I know that we're in the middle of a comedy boom. And everyone's watching specials. And you can't get tickets and all this shit.

And you're going to give me $60? I'm going to light this place on fire. There's a boom at the top. But for everybody starting out, it bucks. Yeah. I'm going to light this place on fire. Yeah. There's a boom at the top, but for everybody starting out, it is, man, they haven't received a pay raise. They've more than likely gotten a pay cut to open for these people.

I'm generous with the people who open for me because I used to tour with a guy who didn't pay me. Didn't do that. Didn't pay me. Yeah, say his name. Didn't pay me very well. You do a little bit of Googling and you'll figure it out i i just yeah it i can't do that and and i mean i'm basically a

socialist in in that i love to share the wealth yeah i have i have plenty when you make it you know totally rosebud maybe who told us that fact. I think features are getting paid the same amount they were in 1985. How the fuck does an industry stop for four years? Just stop. Yeah. It's fucking crazy. Because they literally don't have an agent. They don't have it except themselves.

And they're hoping that they'll do well enough that they get brought back. But even if they do well, yeah, you should be being paid a reasonable rate. And it's not, yeah, it's, I,

I'll match whatever the, if there are people, I have people who open for me, but I always match whatever the place pays, which is at least five hundred dollars and then pay for their flight and hotel and everything like that so you usually walk away with fifteen hundred dollars from a set from me which is which is five times what i used to get when i was that's like awful how it should be you know um you're an interesting person to have on i think

because i i think you are a, obviously incredibly talented, blah, blah, blah. That's not what I'm doing. But the, you are so clearly someone who's suffered from real mental health issues and things like that and overcome them. And I mean that in a very obvious way. No, no, no. I understand.

That's the proper way to say it. You don't have to walk on eggshells around me. But like, do you think that, do you around me but like do you think that do you look around nowadays and do you think it's gotten too much like do you think do you think there's stolen valor amongst us oh that's an interesting question one thing i always think is man i'm glad i got my special in when i did because it's not that unusual now to talk about mental health but when i first started there were people talking about mental health, and I remember thinking, oh, my gosh, they're going to let this room full of strangers know all this about them?

And I thought, wow, that is ballsy and also really – it made me uncomfortable. I remember thinking if I didn't know anything about mental health, I would have been uncomfortable. It actually made me very happy. I was like, oh, I'm not alone in this. But the one thing – Is there one that jumps out at you? There was one woman named Barbara Swanson who talked about being on Prozac in 1993. And I was like, oh my gosh, I take that. And I don't want anybody to know that she's selling all these

strangers. She has so much courage. And so I think it's helpful for everybody to talk about it. I don't know that they're going to get a special out of it so I feel like that's a bummer that most of the specials about mental health have been done but there'll be it's mine, it's all mine but I felt that way I felt like I was covering territory

that had been covered because Chris Gethard had talked about it really deeply and Maria Bamford and other people and I thought, I'm just walking over territory that's been trampled on and well, and they did it so well

I mean, I saw Gethers and it was great I thought Great Depression was a different level Yeah, but also when you can name the two or three that did it, it has not been trampled on, it's been lightly walked on Right, you can name like the two or three that – Right. It has not been trampled on. It's been lightly walked on. Right. It's still right now even though it feels like it's overkill.

It's probably still a new – Yeah. I think it's – if you make it your entire thing, that's fine too. I just don't know that – I mean again, I don't know that you'll get a special out of it but you should share these things because i think overall it's better that people are comfortable talking about it and discussing it than the way i grew up with which is don't my family was still very private about these things and i've sort of but also i think there's a difference between like talking about it like in everyday life versus like making it part of your act

because i do think it would be a little weird if like your everyday life just in social settings you were just i'm see i'm not even referring to just strictly the comedy where i i think like and i have a very complicated relationship with it because i i've done it before and i i i i think i think there was one i can particularly i can point to the time where it kind of got where dak prescott was wearing it on his wrist where where he had, like, you are not alone. And I was like, you know what, Dak? That makes me feel more alone. I think it is important to talk about, and I do believe all that.

And then there are other times where it's almost like we were talking about Max Kellerman today, where I was like, I don't believe you saying it. Where, like, Max Kellerman talked about, like, Brady falling off a cliff, where I'm like, you're doing an act. And, like, I guess if you genuinely believe it, then yes, by all means, please. But I think there are – I think there's a good amount of people who are not. I think there's probably a handful of people who are kind of phony about it. Which is the case of any industry. Yeah, yeah. People see money in it.

I think almost the real problem is there are people who are phony and they know they're phony and they're just – those people are assholes. Yeah. They're just like – you're just like scamming. But then there are the people who are phony and they don't know it and they think they're deep and it's just like, oh my god. It's just a walking cliche. That's interesting. But with Dak Prescott, I think it's helpful in this way because I remember and hardly any athletes were talking about this when I was coming up. So I think in the 1990s, Terry Bradshaw talked about having been depressed, like so depressed he couldn't get out of bed.

He was sick with depression. And he said that people would say to him, but you're Terry Bradshaw. Yeah. And I remember thinking, can't you just pull out one of your Super Bowl rings, put it on, and feel better? And then you realize, oh, it has nothing to do with accomplishment. It's a chemistry. And that was illuminating. I didn't feel any better, but I realized that I wasn't going to be able to achieve my way out of thinking I was a piece of crap.

I needed specials. Yes. I remember that. I was a piece of crap. I needed – yeah. Yes. And that was really helpful because to me, Terry Bradshaw was sort of the epitome of machismo and strength and masculinity. And also you could – sometimes people say, well, Jerry West is very depressed because he only won one championship. But that's silly. Yeah. and and but that's that's that's that's silly yeah yeah that's silly that his worth is dependent on him losing to the celtics but then you you quadruple it with terry bradshaw and you see oh he's depressed with four superbowls and okay now the picture is becoming clearer that this thing

isn't about working hard and getting somewhere it It's about fixing these things, sometimes with talk, sometimes with chemistry, and sometimes with thousands of electric volts. Yeah, there's an important note. It's the bubble I've created for myself where I see it so often. But then there are times where, like, Jake Dabrowski on the Bruins, like two years ago when Bruce Cassidy was still the coach, he had a hard time and he was not a great player. And whereas I'm thinking, oh, it the Bruins, like, two years ago when Bruce Cassidy was still the coach, like, he had a hard time.

And he was not a great player. And, you know, and whereas I'm thinking, oh, it's a little old hat, you know, but there's still callers calling him, like, cut his ass. And now, right? Now he's a digital sword. Yes, walk it off. Yeah. Yeah. Do you, when you, because you have gone through the electrical treatment, right?

Yeah. Electroconvulsive therapy, it's called. Yeah. Which is like, you know, it's like the shock treatment, rightconvulsive therapy yeah yeah it's like you know it's like the shock treatment yeah yeah yeah almost yeah movies it looks crazy but like they actually do that for real right yeah so like do you get uh in the same vein as his question are you like oh you like you you know you talk to your therapist about your bad day. I have electrotherapy. Like, you know, take a walk in my shoes, man. No. Yeah, that's why you're the best.

Well, I remember really, like, in the book, I really like how, like, interwoven throughout are your trips back home to when you're 47. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I remember you describing a Post-it note in your room. And I forget what it said. I actually did write it down. But what did the Post-it note say? I mean, one of them said, what did the post-it notes say i mean one of them said um what did nothing last forever nothing lasts forever not not even what is it yeah nothing

lasts forever not even unbearable yes or something like that or even cold of every yeah and it actually it reminded me of uh when i went to visit my friend in. I was still in high school and I went to his dorm. And the only thing he had in his dorm was a post-it note by his bed that said, don't kill yourself. Wow. Yeah. And I remember being like in high school being like, what the fuck is that all about? Yeah, it was a quote from Michael Chabon who wrote The Amazing Adventures of Cavalier and Clay, which if you haven't read, as soon as you put down Misfit, grab that book. It's really good.

But the – excuse me. But the – there's like – well, I was thinking and reading it where I was like a 47-year-old who had to move back home and was hanging this note in his room must see someone being like, I had a tough day. They'd be like, all right. Come on. Like it is – and i know you you're so great yeah but it's but the whole thing is it's all on a on a spectrum and your brain is telling you similar things to what my brain was telling me which is that i was worthless and and a really good idea is to end it all today well i used to say that about uh

like when i would see uh college kids on Twitter being like, I've got my finals tomorrow and I'm going to like jump off a bridge. It's so crazy. And I'm like, I got two kids. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But like then you realize that like that person's brain was not experienced. Two kids and bills and divorce and all that yet. To them, this is the worst thing that's ever happened. So you guys are feeling the same shit. I mean, that's something that keeps coming up in the book is these things like one of the chapters part of the chapter is about me not being

able to find a library book and getting all kinds of trouble with my mother and the teacher and the and the school librarian and and somebody said you made it seem as if this was a suspenseful, horrific trauma. And the truth is, is that when you're a kid, the stakes for everything are enormous. Whether you make a basketball team or whether you return a library book, whether you're able to make a new friend or a friend calls you back or a girlfriend calls you back. Yes. These things were just enormous. And so we get older and we're able to put things in perspective. But when you're a kid without a therapist or without – I don't know if –

my parents weren't people I could go to for much more than 24 hours with a problem. After 48 hours, it's like you're going to have to figure out – Yeah, just get over it. Yeah, just get over it. You're still hung up about this girl who broke up with you 10 days ago. Little do you know that every once in a while, you'll have a dream about people you haven't seen for 35 years and it'll fuck you up. Somebody who's passed away.

Like I have a, I lost a very close neighbor when i was growing up this woman named margie and i had a dream about her last night she she passed away in 1993 and i had a dream about her and i was saying goodbye to her in the dream and i remember thinking why do i see her so infrequently and when i do i don't make a bigger deal out of saying goodbye because just before i went to sleep tonight she had been dead for over 30 years it's just the brain is the brain and the dream thing what is it trying to tell me i think one of the things is you wonder how people who are no longer with us would react to something big like a book.

But we know because there were things similar when we were alive. My father got so excited if I took a pitch that was a little bit outside. What an eye on you, son. Son, what an eye. you son what an eye I said I could have knocked it out of the no son patience patience I always think about that

you know what's so funny you say that because my son is going right through that and I thought the first the first like nuance of the game that he learned was to take a pitch that's so good see ball hit ball catch ball catch ball, throw ball. But then the first time he went to swing and held it up, I was like. It was high and outside.

It was high and outside. Oh, Kev, that's awesome. That's a good dad. That's a good dad. Because some dads would be like, be aggressive. If it's too close, you swing away. It is the – I always think – I'm always going to relate to hockey. But it is – when you're at a hockey game, a very common thing is shoot it, shoot.

And you really know what someone is talking about. They know what they're talking about. When they're like – they'll say something like, oh, that was good patience there. Patience is the most important thing in sports, in life as you're talking about. Like it will pass or it'll work out. It's also a motherfucker to have it. Because you want to shoot it and you want it to pass. Is there a sport that is a bigger disparity between TV and live than hockey?

No. My word. I would say tennis. Oh, I've never been to a U.S. Open. Really? As big a gap between hockey and TV? I think I would venture to guess. Close, huh?

I've watched maybe 10 matches in my life. And I was there and I was like, this is the greatest sport I've ever seen. That's a revelation, man. It was Carlos Alcaraz. He was the number one player in the world. But still, it was like... Tennis courts are huge. I didn't – yeah.

Like when you – like I've only been on a couple in my whole life. Yeah. So I think of it as like basketball court and then I'm trying to measure it. Right. And you see how big it is. It's like holy shit. Yeah. How much ground they cover.

And then when you see how fast it's going. Yes. I just watched a clip the other day, Andy Roddick, you know, many, many years ago, served it into the clay. Yeah. It was crazy. Dude, you know, they still serve like a buck 30. Yeah. A great player.

Wow. But Roddick was a buck 50. I mean, 150 miles an hour. Like, think about that disparity if there was a pitcher. Right. Everyone, he was like, I guess, you know, compared, like, it's maybe 12 miles an hour faster. But, like, he's 12 miles an hour faster than the next guy. Like, forget it. No 12 miles an hour faster. But like he's 12 miles an hour faster than the next guy. Like forget it.

No job. That's crazy. That's insane. Like the hockey is still the – because tennis is even a little more nontraditional. Of the big four, if you call it that, hockey is the one. Yeah, football is the worst. Football, you go and you're like – Oh, football life is terrible.

Terrible. I would say – Unless you're on the team. Every seat stinks. Even if you're on the team every seat stinks even if you're on the team unless you're actively playing that's so true I used to not play in high school

I'm like this sucks I have no idea who's blocking well whenever some of these die hard football fans are like oh they dropped back into a cover 2 with the spy I'm like, take time to learn all that. Cover two was my undoing in college football.

As a tight end at Boston College, you had to recognize whether they were in cover two or not. And if you couldn't, you were going to get the ball in the back of the head when you were supposed to turn. It was just, yeah, I could not read defenses. That's a pretty important part of it, yeah. It's enormous. They were like, you see this rolled up corner?

I'm like, no, no. But it is interesting. We're like – it is – it's one of those things where like sometimes you just get it. I have a story I remember all the time where like Gronk was here after he retired from the Pats, before he got on the Bucs, and we were talking about – I think Manziel was big in the news at the time, and itronk was here after he retired from the Pats, before he got on the Bucks. And we were talking about – I think Manziel was big in the news at the time and it was how he never used his iPad and this and that. And Gronk was talking. I was like – he had his buddy.

I always forget his name. It's not like Beast, but it's something of the like – whatever you think Gronk's best friend slash bodyguard name is, that's what it is. And he was like, ask him what the usage on my iPad was and I was like what is it he's like 0% and I was like

how did you know he's like I don't even Gronk was confused he was like I don't know I just do it I just look at it and I get it like I don't know

what to tell you if you're bigger faster and stronger than everybody you're playing against then you don't need an iPad but I was

yeah I was in the middle of the pack I needed I needed to have a high football IQ which I never I was going in the middle of the pack. I needed to have a high football IQ, which I never did. I was going to say, you're a white guy. You need to have a high football IQ. You're a grinder. Do you still follow BC at all?

Yeah. They had a near upset over Florida State the other day, but the week before they nearly lost to Holy Cross, which is a high school JV team. Yeah. I went to FSU. I don't understand it. And my dad went to BC, so we kind of always –

Oh, right. That's right. Yeah. And I was like – I knew Red Bandana Game was going to be an issue. Yes. Red Bandana Game always is. Oh, my gosh. But it is – when I was a kid, we used to go to a lot of BC games and stuff like that

because his buddy played for BC. His buddy was on Flutie's team. And so we'd go up and we'd tailgate a lot. And, like, back then, this is early 2000s probably, late 90s, like, games were games. Oh, yeah. BC games were real. You know, I'll never compare to the SEC, but, like, it was a football game.

Oh, yeah, totally. And it's kind of sad. That was the Red Band any game, so there was a bigger crowd. But they were a lot smaller than they used to be. Yeah, it's a bummer. I mean, the ACC is so competitive, and pretty soon they'll just be two conferences. Yeah.

What's going to happen, what they try to do with the Premier League and stuff like that in soccer, it's going to happen in football. And it probably will be owned by Saudis too. They're doing a lot of sport watching. We're just on a collision course to Saudis owning everything. Fuck it, let's just get to Saudis owning everything. Fuck it. Let's just get to the finish line here. Can you imagine the Bama boosters being like, wait.

We got sheiks. Yeah. We mean he's running the program. Totally. There were a few other interesting things I thought as far as I got in the book. Favorite letters. I love F. I think the F is I got in the book. Favorite letters. I love F. I think the F is the

best letter there is. Feidelberg being my last name, I get to write it every time I ever write. I'm writing an F. The capital F in cursive is majestic. It's just a gorgeous letter. There's a lot of calligraphy going on.

I mean, I resented how much time they spent on cursive writing when I was in second grade. They could have taught us a second language. Instead, they taught us how to sign checks, basically. My daughter asked me the other day, what is cursive? And I was like, I don't have an answer for you. The biggest waste of time in second grade I ever ran into. It's a silly way to write that you're going to have to figure out to pass the test and then never do again.

Yeah. It's insulting. I love you on you're going to have to figure out to pass the test and then never do it again. Yeah. It's insulting. I love you on second grade. F is a good one. F, I mean, G is great. G is a nice one. I don't do it in the standard cursive where it almost looks like a harp. I'm like a –

Yeah. L is good too. A capital L has that whoosh, whoosh, whoosh. Oh, yeah. And L is a lot of fun. It's very soothing. What's the worst one? There's a lot of zen. I mean, the Z is a lot of fun. It's very soothing. What's the worst one? There's a lot of zen.

I mean, the Z is a nightmare. The cursive Z is weird. The cursive Z is a nightmare. The discrepancy between the cursive Z and the regular Z is huge. And then a lot of the lowercase m and stuff is very – I'm making mistakes all the time. I'm crossing out. It's not worth it. Mostly I print and I'll sign my name.

But, yeah, it was – I can't even write like period anymore. I write so little. Oh, really? Yeah. That like the other day I had to write – it was a parent-teacher night. So I had to – my daughter left me a note and then I had to leave her a note. And I had to write like three or four lines and I was like –

My hand was cramping up. And I was misspelling things. The handwriting's bad. Oh, man. Exactly. I would have loved to have gotten a note. My dad used to go to the parent-teacher conference and he'd come over. My parents were divorced.

He would come over to the house afterwards and he'd give me some baseball cards or something. He was really good at being a proud dad. Yeah. He really, man, he... but the bar was so low. And it irritates my brother. My brother is like, he made us think that we were really special. And I said, yeah, that's what a parent is supposed to do.

And I hope you're doing that with your kids. You're going to have plenty of time to get the real world and the rest of the world's interpretation of them. A dad has to be this person you can rely on to boost your ego. Yeah. Yeah. It's like going on Jimmy Fallon. Yeah. What do you think about – what do you think about kill yourself jokes?

What's your opinion on that? Well, there used to be a thing where kill yourself or die in a fire was something that was just a mic drop, right? There was nothing you could say. And now it's so common. It's like, I remember my mother saying to somebody in an argument, drop dead. And I thought, oh my gosh,

the worst expression I've ever heard in my life. It's so final. in an argument, drop dead. And I thought, oh my gosh, that's the worst expression I've ever heard in my life. It's so final. And now we've become inured to it. Like the finger, I'm not exaggerating when I say, if you gave my dad the finger on the highway, your day was going to go a lot different than you anticipated. And I remember my college football coach, Jack McNell, who coached Doug Flutie famously, he was late to a practice session in the summer because he said, somebody gave me the finger on the highway and I pulled him over on the side and had him over his trunk.

And then he always says, and then I came to a very safe decision, he said, and didn't hit the guy. I'm like, wow, he went really far in that. Just about to, oh, my gosh. But back then you could be a celebrity and get away with something like that. Now it would lead at least the local news. Yeah, so I just – it bothers me that people are so quick to say the worst possible thing. But it's being said so much that I almost think that you should take it seriously if they're threatening to kill you I guess but I also think like oh these are empty really

cruel and really dumb things to say I would never say it and I've thought it I've thought it I hope something horrible happens to this person who ruined my day but I don't want that on my record

what do you think when I hypothetically if someone was like, my quarterback just tore his Achilles, I'm going to kill myself. Oh, my gosh. Not like directed at somebody. That's the problem with the English language is there's not a lot of in-between in terms of suicide and depression and everything like that but yeah i always i always think that i i understand using it amongst your your friends and and you say oh my because i said it in the book and in high school i remember listening to the to the theme to cheers and saying this is the funniest

show i've ever seen and the theme song makes me want to jump off a bridge. It's like, making you win the world today. You want to go to this bar where everybody's a drunk. And no one can pour a beer. Yeah. But at least they know my name.

That's how low the bar is for companionship. That they know my name and they're glad I came. I have no family. I've drunk away everybody who I was ever close to. But I could come here and they know my name. And it just, oh, it was the saddest thing.

And the funniest show on TV at the time. There was nothing like it. Yeah, it was like number one for years and years. I've watched that fairly recently. I haven't gotten through it since something like 12 seasons. I'm surprised how well it holds up. Especially the pilot. Like I've read a lot of books about writing screenplays and pilots and things.

And they all point to the Cheers pilot as being like this blueprint or Rosetta Stone for writing a modern pilot. Like the opening scene is this clearly 13-year- old kid comes into the bar and says to sam uh what did he say uh uh can i get a beer pal and and sam says can i get an id and he gives a kid the id he says uh oh you're 38 years old so you were in vietnam it's a it's a military ID. You were in Vietnam? He says, yeah. He says, what was Vietnam like? He says, gross. And Sam says, well, that's what they always say. War is gross. And that's the opening of this series.

You're like, of course it was going to be a hit. It's brilliant. It's brilliant. And he says, sorry, soldier, I can't serve you. And then the kid, and he's a kid, he says, and this is the thanks we get. I mean, just brilliant. I'm telling it to you and it's getting laughed. What shows do you like?

Now, I love this show called Poker Face. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's on Peacock. Yeah, and I love that show that I think is a great comeback to what's that about Natasha Lyonne

Natasha Lyonne yeah the I feel like with streaming everything became everyone had to say what's an 8 hour movie and which is great

and I love those too yeah but they it kind of lost the procedural where I think Poker Face is a great like yeah every episode is this great

and it's created by the guy who did the, the, um, the glass onion. Yep. And, and Ryan Johnson. Yeah.

What's the first one that, that was so big? Knives out. Yeah. He did that. So it's, it's got that, that mentality and that,

and that sensibility. And the other show my wife and I really like is this show called top boy, which is on Netflix. They say it's like a British wire, but it's so much darker and bleaker than the wire. But it's so well acted, and I really like that show. Anything I found, like BBC and anything overseas, BBC hits pretty well. Yes, BBC. What, Better?

Better, I haven't seen it. I found BBC and anything overseas hits pretty well. Yes. BBC. Is it better? Better? I haven't seen it. It just came out on Hulu from, not BBC, the other one, Sky Network, Sky TV, whatever. It's the other British one. It's just another kind of Luther-esque crime procedural. And it's just like, yep, I'm in. Not procedural, but crime. And then the sitcom, I was on Life and Beth on Hulu.

And we shot a season this year. And I got to work with Michael Rappaport and Tim Daly. And the late Jimmy Buffett was on an episode. And Maria Bamford was on an episode. Amy Sedaris was on a couple of episodes. We got to film in New Orleans, which is so fun to be – to have a small part on a show that is on location because we had so much time to do stuff when I wasn't having to act. It was – I was going to say Amy Sedaris must be awesome in New Orleans. Amy Sedaris was hilarious.

And then the woman who played – What's Buffett like in New Orleans? The woman who played Stifler's mom. What is it? Coolidge. Jennifer Coolidge. She was on. She was incredible.

I mean, so funny. Yeah, we had a great time. I feel like Buffett's kind of like a king in New Orleans. Yeah, but I wasn't on set that day. No. Yeah, I didn't work with Jimmy Buffett, but I did get to hang out with Rapaport, who's hilarious. We had so much fun. Oh, I didn't realize that. He's sued Kevin.

Oh, no! So fuck you, Gary! Wow! Fuck you! I don't... Kevin's been in a disposition. He's been in a disposition over Michael Rappaport. Let me tell you, he and his lawyers did not present a good case.

Alright, I'm going to sit this one out. Jeez. We were friends. Man, do I step in it sometimes. He worked here briefly. A brief and shitty tenure here. It just did not end well, and then he became very combative. Very combative.

I think we're still getting sued, actually. Really? It was like a dead case, and then he revived it or something like that. Shoot, what was I just going to say? I think we're still getting sued actually. Really? It was like a dead case and then he revived it or something like that. I – shoot. What was I just going to say? The business. Yeah. It's industry stuff.

I guess that's why they don't call it show friends. The – I forget if you told us this off air or on air so we can cut it. But are you still – is there still a show in production with McKay? Oh, no. We're doing it as a film with J.J. Abrams. Really? Yeah. No way.

Yeah. I mean, that's before the writer's strike. We were working on it as a feature. And J.J. Abrams is really nice and cool. I mean, the most important thing, I think, at that level is some humility, whereas some people who are legendary like that, I imagine it's very uncomfortable to talk to them because you're just intimidated. But he came to a show and he came backstage and was friendly and complimentary. It was really awesome.

And it's going to be based on your life, right? Based on my college – my ill-fated college football career. Yes. Yes. That's crazy is i don't know jj abams from anything other than not not nothing but like i know him more as like large yeah star trek yeah but he also has a pretty diverse portfolio in terms of writing and and also the films that he's produced and things like that so it's myself ira glass and and here

the producers on the on Ira Glass is a pull cord on the book. You have a murderous role. I have some strong blurbs on the back of the book. Which is the hardest part of writing a book is asking people to read it and then make a nice comment about it.

It's like, can I just write it but then you have to promote it. These are fun but sometimes I go and people have not even looked at the cover of the book. Sometimes they only read 160 pages. Yeah, right. They'll say things. Now, you separated it into chapters. Tell me about that.

What was behind that choice? Well, Dickens was a big inspiration on me. He would separate into chapters. So I thought I would bite some of his work. I was talking to my mom about the book because her and my dad had called me and they just bought me Judd Apatow's book. Which one? The Sick in the Head? The Sick in the Head. Oh, yeah. And I was like, actually, I've already read it.

He came on the show to promote it. Yeah. I've already read it He came on the show To promote it And I was like I was like And I watched The Great I watched The Great Depression With my parents Before I ever really like Told them stuff That was kind of going on

With me So I would give them nudges Like hey Pay attention here That's His version Of the crying trees Watching The Great Depression

With my parents going That's interesting Hey Hey Hot mom Hot dad What do you think of that? It sounds like it sucks, doesn't it? But I was telling them about how you were coming in to promote Misfit,

available now on Amazon or anywhere books are sold. And then I flipped it over. I was like, oh, shit. Judd Apatow has a blurb on this one. There's Schumer, Apatow, Ira Glass. Yeah, and Adrian Nicole LeBlanc, who's a – if you need a book to read, it's called Random Family. She immersed herself in the life of this family that lived in the Bronx. And there was – some of the people were criminals.

Some of them were just nice people dealing with poverty. But it was such a beautiful book called Random Family. So she wrote a really good blurb. And then Seth Meyers wrote a really nice blurb. So I really, yeah, I really, I was so grateful to everyone. It makes sense, though, man. You're just one of the nicest dudes in the world. Oh, thank you.

I can't imagine there's anybody. Thank you. I truly can't imagine there's anybody that you came across in the industry, at least. Maybe in your personal life. Maybe you're an asshole. I don't know. I can't imagine anybody being like, fuck that guy, Gary Golan. Like, true.

I can't think of, like, there would be one person or one reason. I remember Paul Newman had this great quote where he said, a man with no enemies is a man with no character. So I probably have some enemies and my mother wasn't crazy about this book. I bet she's a little bit like that. She's still living in a denial over what actually happened, but it's like a bitter sweetness for a Jewish mom to have her son write a book but also be like, maybe you shouldn't read it. It makes me sound completely clueless about his depression. But I always say nobody knew.

Nobody would have understood. It's hard now. Yes, it's hard to tell if you're kids because part of the thing about being depressed is you hide it so well so that you can kind of manage. So, yeah, I don't hold any ill will. I'm just reporting the story. It's just funny, right? Yeah, it's funny. Exactly.

It makes us laugh. Your next book could be called Everybody Loves Me But My Mom. Yeah, my wife said to her, she said, my mom's name is Barbara, she said, this book is about Gary. It's not about revenge or anything. She said, you'll notice, Barbara,

it's not called Surviving Barbara Goldman. Yeah. And that got through to my mom. So my wife is excellent at – She sounds like she really was like – Yeah, she's really – You stumbled upon going there to help you survive. Yeah, she's the most valuable player in my life.

Yeah, I'm really lucky. I remember my mom went to a – you know Chris Herron? Oh, my gosh. Yeah. So he's like – He was – OK. The younger brother of a guy I started Boston College with, his older brother, Mike Herron, who is a basketball star. It's the same high school, Durfee High School.

So Mike was in my class. And then the year after I graduated, Chris was a freshman at Boston College. And he still had a long ways to go in his fight. But he is incredibly inspiring. I really admire him. Yeah. He wrote a great book too. He's from Fall River from fall river where yeah he's like a family type friend i remember bumping into him at the movies him and his wife and uh it was just after

it was just after everything had come out uh not everything had come out but like the the 30 for 30 had come out and all that stuff and um my mom was like she said that she's like this is the real mvp right here and i was like mom you can't say that to him right now and that's so funny but it's true i'm sure he'd agree to that the only thing i don't the only thing i don't like i don't know if this ever happened to you but somebody will say uh you really married up to me and And I'm like, I'm a handsome, talented man. There's a quality in this relationship. I'm just saying, you can. Yes, exactly.

I'm so insecure about being, like, it was a chiropractor who said it. He said, we married up. And I said, you may have married up. This is my weight class. Yeah. The very fact – I forget. Someone has a joke where it's like, the very fact that we're together means we're in the same league.

They don't put men's league team out against the Celtics. Totally. But it's all my insecurity that I feel insulted by this thing that the person said in past i'll i'll say it and have someone repeat it and then i'm like what the fuck you think you're saying that like i opened the door but still that's classic yeah i can make fun of my mom you can't i can say it you can't it makes all the sense in the world so well man it's always good to see you doing well such a pleasure thanks for having me having me on, guys. I always look forward to this. It feels like you're really crushing it.

We'll look forward to anything you do. What if I said this? Say that again. It looks like you're really crushing it. It looks like you're really crushing it. Guys, I'm crushing it. All right, Seinfeld thing. Thank you so much, Gary. សូវាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប� Thank you. Bye.