KFC Radio - Taylor Swift is Bigger and Better Than The Beatles Ft. Joe DeRosa

Episode Date: June 13, 2023

Timecodes: 0:00 - Start 17:29 The Whale has the funniest opening scene 22:05 Feits almost got k*lled 36:34 Jackie went door to door looking for a charger 46:05 Was Ted Kaczynsk.... 56:54 The world isn't ready to hear about aliens 01:07:28 Taylor Swift may be bigger than The Beatles 01:13:43 I-95 Overpass Collapsed 01:14:18 Bridge inferno Video - https://twitter.com/stefanielaine/status/1667933663605161985?s=20 01:14:25 Philly Guy Interview - https://twitter.com/MarcusFOX29/status/1667914696534507520 01:17:03 British Guards Passed Out - https://twitter.com/itvnews/status/1667568403073171458?s=20 01:20:48 Zion is getting called out 01:26:03 Feits' Hokusai museum trip 01:29:56 Freddie Gibbs 01:32:42 Bill Murray and Kelis Are Dating 01:36:32 VanderPump Rules 01:47:15 A Day in the Life Guy 01:54:33 Video Voicemails 02:19:31 Feits ate a BAG of apples at The Dozen Live ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Omaha: Don’t wait - go to https://OmahaSteaks.com and type KFC into the search bar and order the Dad’s Favorite Gift package for Father’s Day today! Pirate Water: Go to drink piratewater.com to find pirate water in a location near you or order on gopuff Turo: Find your drive. Forget boring rental cars at https://bit.ly/3Lwerc1You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Roan came upstairs after they got eliminated, and it was the first thing he noticed. And he was like, what the f*** is this? It's another edition of KFC Radio on the Barstool Sports Network. It's your boy KFC in Feidelberg. We just came from what we have agreed is probably i think maybe not even probably i think decided decidedly the most uh famous guest we've ever had i think i think i think it's the only of that main avenger

to be on barstool sports yeah i mean we we've danced around it with with anthony mackie and they're all avengers sure they're in in the Avengers. But there's like four Avengers. The Avengers, the core four, it's Robert Downey Jr., it's the Hulk, it's Spider-Man. I guess there's five, right? Spider-Man's not one of the original. No, he's not one of the main ones.

I think it's just Iron Man, Hulk, Thor, and who am I missing? Captain America. Captain America. And it's motherfucking Thor on KFC Radio. It'll be out this Thursday. Oh wait, Nick, can you don't pull up the mentions, but can you just or somebody just read me

like I tweeted this morning this morning. I'm interviewing my biggest celebrity crush. Very nervous. No one got it. I have said on this show many times I'm a Chris Hemsworth guy. Totally. I don't know if I would have guessed it, though. Really? I think I would

have first of all said Taylor Kitsch. Because you have other guys. Yeah. But whenever we start really talking, we're talking like, oh, that's a cool guy. We're talking like, the guy I want to be in bed with? It's Chris Hemsworth. If we're talking about a guy I want to suck his dick, if you're talking about a guy I put his dick in my mouth

or other holes in my body, it's Chris Hemsworth. Whose warm embrace do I want to be wrapped in? Yeah, it's Chris Hemsworth. Do I want him to spoon me afterwards? It's Chris Hemsworth. I think within the realm of KFC radio, though, people would say Tim Riggins. They would say Timothee Chalamet.

There are running jokes throughout our world. If you're talking about like just fucking. Just. Just sex. You know. Just pure sex. Just use him like a sex monkey. Let him use me, man.

He is gay. Gay. I love that. That's so good. Were there any other like main guesses? Any guesses that like stuck out? First of all, the funny part was not a single person guessed a female. Yeah.

John said my celebrity crush is here as a straight man, and not one person said a single female. It's all just dudes. And was sexy. So we heard that Chicks in the Office sent a message to Kelly. I think, you know, maybe being a little territorial saying, wait, did KC Radio also get Nina Dobrev? Because she's in the office.

I'll find out if that's a surprise or not, if I can say it. But I think they saw that, being the morons that they are, thinking John would say that about a female. So they were like, wait a minute. You're sexually attracted to women? Crazy! That's so gay. So they were like, wait a minute attracted to women that's so gay so they were like wait a minute what it's like no no no don't worry but yeah you guys got riggins got it i mean listen

it's it's crazy that we got chris hemsworth it's out of the realm of possibility that we would get leonardo dicaprio yes also if we're talking about straight looks, he dusts Leo. Dude, Leo, very talented actor. Leo doesn't get my blood boiling. Not anymore. Not anymore. He has aged appropriately. I walked into that room with Chris Hemsworth, and I almost fainted. Dude, he is.

Leo, I'd be like, what's up, El? I actually think if we had more time. So we did this 20-minute interview, like a press junket, which is like quick hitter. So you really don't have too much time to get things rolling. And as much as he probably would rather talk about like his the movies and the acting and like his life, I think what is like unequivocally the most interesting thing about him. I know that sounds rude in a way, but it's like you're how good looking you are is what not from the point of view just like dude you're so hot i want to be like what goes on inside the mind of someone like we today we spoke to the best looking man alive there's what about four

billion men on the planet yeah we talked We talked to number one. Legit. That and that Pauline Nagretzky guy that we know. The friend of Pauline Nagretzky. Jeremy Cohen? Jeremy Cohen, who's always actually still floating around. Oh, whose name I really know? That was crazy that he just had that. Dude, meet Jeremy Diaz.

Well, that's what I was going to say. Meet Jeremy Talk. He's always kind of in our world, a little bit commenting and shit. So he is right up there. They actually kind of look You know they have similar features But this guy is number one He's so hot in these pictures

And they don't do it justice Which is nuts Because usually you know You're photoshopped You got good lighting All that shit To then just be like I'm in a room

And I'm gonna Like I'm in person And he's still The scruff looked like it was painted on the eyes twinkled the scruff was crazy it was amazing I'm so happy you brought it up

at one point I got lost in the scruff forget about the eyes I was staring at it, I was like what the fuck the scruff was painted, it looks like it's not real the eyes are the eyes, they're amazing we've seen big, beautiful blue eyes. That's a thing. I've never seen scruff that made me go, that's scruff.

The eyes were like an Icelandic volcano. They were full of water and frozen over. It was a dormant volcano. Beautiful. A dormant Icelandic volcano, exactly. It's like a peaceful white walker found fresh snow and put it in his eyeballs along with a sapphire. It's incredible. They make other... I mean, I think we have some nice blue eyes.

And we look like... My eyes are the color of the wall. Look like somebody took a shit in my eye sockets when I was around him. There's something about not even the blueness. There's something about the way his eyeballs reflect light. Like he always has a glimmer. And I was like, we're in the same room under the same lights. How is that happening?

But, okay, the eyes. I kissed him when he was born. The hair is great. Obviously, he's got great posture and a great body. All that shit. But the scruff. The scruff. The scruff borderline still does.

Because scruff is like, for you and me, we have it to hide our fat faces, or at least I do. And then along with that, I got like a patch of gray, and it grows too low here. Sometimes I forget to trim it when it gets up to the White Sox Dave region. So then it just ends up looking like, his Scruff looks like Bob Ross. Painted it on.

If you were in a museum, and you would get close enough to a picture to see the... One of those really realistic paintings. Where they didn't even use a paintbrush, they used the fucking mixer, and they kind of just slabbed it on like that. It's a strong look. He's got good follicles.

And it fades in color. It gets darker around the edges, and then lighter. He looks like it's painted like you would see it on an instagram video someone would and they would flip it over at the end and that would be chris hemsworth and his scruff and you'd be like holy shit i can't even tell if this is real life or a painting it's he is but but with that like i know most people think would think of that as like like shallow or whatever and it is we're talking about like looks and that's materialistic and superficial and shit but i also um i've talked about like

wanting to do this with with females as well and it's harder because that comes across as like creepy you know yeah but when you are so good looking and on some level whether or not you're gonna admit it and you won't you'll say like what chris said today like ah i don't want to give too much away keep you know but when he said back at you that was the most patronizing it took him so long to say it was like you're so good looking he's like a girl being like, you're great, buddy. Like you too, pal,

as she pats you on the back. You look great today. Your eyes are popping. You got the blue shirt. It was, he's just like, I don't even know what to say to you. Back at you.

But I would love to know, because you can downplay it all you want and i do know that people have uh body dysmorphia and all that shit he even has a series that we talk about on disney plus where he talks about his anxiety and his stress and it's like you would think that chris hemsworth has none of that stuff but he's a normal human too so i get it that he doesn't like wake up every morning just being like i'm gonna jerk off to myself but you know what society deems to be conventionally good looking yeah and you know what society just seems to be like unconventionally good looking like holy fucking shit it's the eyes the jaw the height the hair the chiseled body and it's like check check check check check and on some level you have to be like it's almost like being an athlete where

it's like you have to acknowledge that you are better than everyone else. So we got to start training. We got to start worrying about what you do in public. We got to get you an agent. We got to – you're gifted. At some point, you have to be like, I'm going to be famous. Like I'm so good looking. I saw an interview when I was doing research for this and somebody said, like, you're Thor, huh?

It was like that first one, maybe, like the first movie. And he goes, like, how did that happen? And I wanted to be like, I woke up in the morning. I showed up at the audition and said, I'm going to be Thor. And they said, yes, you fucking are. It's the most obvious Thor of all time. Of all time. Anyone else, you're like, oh, I can see him in that role.

Yeah, no shit, it's Chris Hemsworth. He's Thor. It's like he plucked from the fucking comic book pages themselves. He is. And then on top of it, he just seems to be like, you know, what you would think, like a cool Australian dude who like, you know, he was down to clown. But I really wish we had more time because, you know, it would take 10 minutes for me to say i set it up i'm not just talking about your good looks i'm talking about you know the psychology around it and what does it feel like blah blah blah the interview would be over but i would love to know when you know

yeah it's like yeah you know i when i can't i can't go out i you know i have to be different around like single women or like people that i meet like it impacts this and that the other thing because it probably is like i just can't even imagine, you know, uh, every room you walk in people, or it's all that people bring up, you know,

like right away I was like the whole gang didn't know what to wear. We, we, we, you know, how, how do you dress for, for Chris?

He's probably like, I don't know. I was fucking whatever, you know, he did compliment my outfit. He did. Yeah. Yeah.

It looked like that took some time. Yeah. And it did. It took about a week. And despite you guys, so I, I, I, well was well no this outfit took very little but it was getting arriving at this outfit arriving at i look like i didn't try too hard it was very yes yeah yeah um but the you know we just talked for five ten minutes whatever we talked about him and clearly he left an impact on us i promise you chris hemsworth will never forget us. Oh, you left, we left way more of an impact on Chris than he did on us.

There's a chance that we did, we had a moment that is the most memorable interview moment in Chris Hemsworth history. I promise you, I did something to Chris Hemsworth that no one's ever done to him and probably never will again. It's true. I'm a unicorn when it comes to interacting with Chris Hemsworth. Me and John looked at each other. We were all, three of us, sitting in a triangle

that was probably one foot by one foot by one foot, the tiniest little triangle, like knees touching. And I just didn't even look at hemsworth and i just locked eyes with john and it was just the moment of like it was like a i can't believe that just happened dude and john replied with his eyes like i fucking know what are the chances and in my head i was like that's super crazy but it's also good because it's gonna be you know good for business but holy fucking shit did that really just happen? I know, man. We said a thousand words with just this eye lock. That was unbelievable.

So that will be out on Thursday. We'll talk more about some of the actual shit that went on during the interview for next episode so we don't spoil it too much. But check it off the list as far as, you know, met the best looking dude in the world, had our biggest a-list celebrity on the show uh left a very lasting impression on him it was a big day yeah it was a big day it was a massive day um i guess we're also like the entourage people now like we showed up with with the jfc radio team and they were like whoa you got a lot of people here. And I was like, okay, shit. I guess we got to trim the crowd or something. I don't know. Jackie, go home.

Get out of here. I will say it was very funny. Kelly Keegs dolled herself up thinking that Hemsworth was coming to the office. So she did her TikTok. If you follow Kelly on TikTok, at Kelly Keegs, she does her outfits of the day. And I find them to be mesmerizing. I'm always just like like I scroll and I stop and I'm just like, I watched the whole thing.

I'm like, what's Kelly wearing today? Dude, I had an idea to do that back in Milton where I was going to change my Twitter picture every day to just what I was wearing that day and I think it was David was like, that's stupid. And I was like, alright, you're right. Feidelberg was going to do outfits of the day like ten years early.

Like nine years ago. And Dave. I was like, every day. I wish. I don't know for sure it was Dave, but someone was like, ah, it's fucking dumb. I was like, yeah, you're right. You're right. You're right.

You're right. It was Dave. I would love to somehow tap in. It might have been Keith. It might have been Keith. It was Dave. I would love to tap into that time period. Like if we had reality TV tapes of it,

which is how many ideas were like shot down. Or you never even voiced because Dave was just like, that's stupid, which is every business. I'm sure to be fair, but totally. But you know, we were in this hyper competitive, masculine, insecure, like where either it was a good idea and I don't want someone else to do it. So I personally intentionally sabotage them or like my, my first reaction is just to say no that's stupid because i just don't want anybody doing anything like there was just so much of that going on that

like the truly truly the genuine opposite of creativity and brainstorming and fostering you know like content it was just like no gay wrong loser you know uh but um anyways this is all to say that it was um they were they they were, yeah, you brought all these people here. I was like, I don't know. Got a big team. Yeah, we rolled deep. Chris Hemsworth from the KFC radio. So what I was going to say was Kelly dressed up, thinking for the office, and Jackie decided to not wear a meat hoodie. Usually she has her Italian sausage and or like, you know, what is it?

Sausage and other cured meats. I don't even know. Meat markets. Meat markets. Jackie's meat markets. So she comes in all dolled up wearing like this white outfit. She still had her disgusting sneakers on, which is an interesting choice to like. I'm going to really put effort in except where my homeless feet.

Yeah, that's crazy. Yo, what the fuck? You guys are the same. These are beat up, beat up. Yours are just dirty. His have almost like a... You know when Tom Ford sells the sneakers that are already dirty for some reason?

Why can't mine be just beat up, beat up? Because they're not. Those are worn. the sneakers that are already dirty for some reason. Why can't mine be just beat up, beat up? Because they're not. They're just a little bit dirty. Beat up, those are worn. Yours looked like they were clean this morning and you walked through mud when you got here. This feels like a double standard. This feels like a because I'm a girl thing. It's partly that, for sure.

Oh, this is all because you're a girl and we make fun of you relentlessly. Bro, pay me more money. Let me get some sneakers. You could have cleaned your sneakers, though. Yeah, pay me more money and let me get some sneakers. You could have like cleaned your sneakers though. Yeah, I know, but. Yeah.

But since we were like rolled so deep and it was this press junket where they just like cycle you in like me and John were the only people in the room.

So, you know. All the office ones did nothing. Yeah. That was your chance, Jackie. He was going to he was going to be like I'm, you know, happily married and have this family,

but I met this girl with these fucking hands and these feet that were just... I had to have them. So Hemsworth on KFC Radio this Thursday. We got Joe DeRosa on the show today, who I think is maybe the only man, I think in my mind, if I could be so bold and put

myself in the mix i think it's like lewis black darosa and me as far as just the angriest haters to have ever existed in the content game i mean darosa is just fucking he hates humanity yeah he's fucking great i saw an old clip of his the other day saying uh if you if you are successful if you're like at the peak of your career, you are a piece of shit. You're a fucking piece of shit. It was just great. He's got so much hate in his heart. So a perfect fit for KFC Radio. So DeRosa will be on the show and we'll do voicemails and whatnot.

What else? I got a few things. You got some things? Okay, hit me. I got – we'll go three things. I'll narrow it down. I got three things. Okay. One happened a few got... We'll go three things. I'll narrow it down. I got three things. Okay.

One happened a few weeks ago, and I just forgot. I wrote it down in my notebook. It's in my notebook like three separate times now because I just forgot to get to it. Bro, I watched The Whale. Brendan Fraser? Yeah. Yeah. Have you seen The Whale?

Yeah. You have? Yeah. And you didn't tell me about it? Well, I mean, we live it every day at the Barstool Sports Office. I mean, it was a good film. Oh, I didn't get past the first ten minutes. Oh, okay.

The opening scene of The Whale is... Is that when he's, like, jerking off or something? Without a doubt, the funniest scene I've ever seen in my entire life. Bro. Is that what it is? Yeah. He's jerking off to gay porn. He, like, drops a popcorn or something.

I had to turn it off. Because you were laughing? I was laughing so fucking hard. That is... It's supposed to be the most introspective, heartfelt, I texted the out-of-order group chat. I was like, let's do the opening of the whale shop for shop. There you go.

That would be so funny. If you have... I want to pick... I'm not just laughing at a fat person. I want to paint the picture for the listener right now who hasn't seen The Whale. Oh, God. It's a dark room. It's going to be erotica.

Right? You come in. You've seen it, so you know what I'm about to say. But, like, it comes in. But I don't remember it, like, all too well. Okay. Let me enjoy it. It's a dark room.

It's behind a couch. A camera comes in, like, through a room behind the couch. You see the top of Brendan Fraser's balding head. Yeah. And it's kind of shaking a little bit. And you know going top of Brendan Fraser's balding head and it's kind of shaking a little bit and you know going into the movie he's obviously

a morbidly obese man and you hear grunting and your first thought is he must be jerking off and then you're like there's no fucking way this movie starts with this morbidly obese man

jerking off and then the moans start coming and you realize that there are no female moans you realize that this morb no female moans. You realize that this morbidly obese man is jerking off to gay porn.

And then this morbidly obese man starts jerking off to gay porn so hard he has a heart attack. So this morbidly obese man is jerking off to gay porn on the couch having a heart attack. Going, And in order to quell this heart attack, to calm himself down, this morbidly obese man who's jerking off to gay porn so hard he has a heart attack grabs a book report on Moby Dick and starts reading it aloud. And then this man who's morbidly obese jerking off to gay porn so hard he has a heart attack

reads Moby Dick a book report someone starts knocking on the door and he assumes it's his nurse so he tells him to come in but it's a strange man it's a strange man who comes into the house and it's like

what the fuck is going on and because he sees a morbidly obese man jerking off to gay porn so hard he has a heart attack and he's reading a book report about it and then he hands the book report to the strange man who starts

reading it and he's going and the guy's like what the fuck is going on he calls me Ishmael and it makes me sad by the way have you heard of Jesus because the man who walked the door is a Mormon who's going door to door to that. And then it just stops. And that's the opening scene of the movie.

Bro, I was in absolute fucking tears on the airplane. I was, like, blocking my fucking TV so no one could see I was watching the fucking whale. It was like, you know when you're trying to stifle your laughter, your shoulders are popping up, like you're going over the fucking whale. It was like, they're trying to stifle your laughter. Your shoulders are popping up. You're going over the road strip. John, so many people cried while watching the whale

and John was the only one doing it in hysterics for laughter. For comedy. That is funny. I watched that, but it didn't trigger in my mind. What the fuck is going on here? He's eating a fucking fried chicken. And then he goes to take a shit. but it didn't, I don't know, it didn't, like, trigger in my mind. Like, what the fuck is going on here? I was like, this is the most terrible.

He's eating a fucking fried chicken. Bro, and then he goes to take a shit, right? Yeah. Doesn't look like a guy who washes his hands. So he comes back to the couch with cummy, shitty hands and just starts eating fried chicken. And that also disgusted me because they definitely do it on purpose. Like, it's Mike Duff. It sounds like you're in his fucking mouth.

And I was like, I can't take this movie seriously anymore. He, it's Mike Duff. It sounds like you're in his fucking mouth. Yeah. And I was like, I can't take this movie seriously anymore. I turned it off. Yeah. Put on Fast Five. It's not very, if I remember, it's not very, like, uplifting. Oh, I don't think it's, yeah.

Well, like, the end. I mean, like, I think there's, like, supposed to be some sort of, like, and then he, you know, mended the bridge and, like, learned. And I remember being like, hmm,

this ended on a pretty like, you know, ambiguous note where I think if I was him, I'd still probably kill myself. Still rather just like welcome death. I don't know. That was great. That was like a,

the, when you're playing that telephone game and you keep adding on more, he'll be his man jerking off to gay porn. It's not that he has a heart attack and he needs to read Moby Dick to calm himself down. I was like, there's no way something crazy is porn. It's not that he has a heart attack. He needs to read Moby Dick to calm himself down. I was like, there's no way something crazy is going to happen. Wait, there's a Mormon involved? It was nuts.

It reads like Mad Libs. Yeah. The fact that that got such high praise is, I understand why it did, but I also could see why it wouldn't. People would have been like, get this off my fucking screen. What are we talking about here? That was a wacky ass movie, man. Then another thing that I'd like to talk about.

So I've been watching, I told you this a little bit, the show Based on a True Story. It's good. You're looking at something to kind of casually watch. And what is that about? It's like a satire on the true crime genre with its podcasts. It's very

Only Murders in the Building-h okay it's a little more funny i've i i only i'd only watched season one of birds in the building i'll say this more jokey than only murders in the building is the most overrated show in the world not in that i don't like it in that the way that the people who like it talk about it i'm like okay relax yeah you know it's like i felt i get it it's it cute. It's the odd couple, odd trio. So, like, there's, like, this element of, like, young and old and, like, true crime. It's all cute, but the people who like it, you would think it's, like, truly the greatest show of all time. Yeah, it does have a great show of all time.

This season, they're adding, like, Bob Odenkirk and, like, Helen Miriam. It's got crazy names. And it is good, but goddamn, some people treat that like... I think I'm going to watch season two, but... Well, I kind of did the same thing. I watched season one, it was good. But this is a similar kind of thing where this couple gets entrenched in the murder. It's comedy?

Yeah. It's more jokey than I remember Only Murders in the Building being. I feel like Only Murders in the Building was like, this whole thing, this whole idea is funny, and there aren't so many jokes in it. This is more jokey. more but also it does have a hard time finding its voice where it's like are you offering commentary on this situation or are you just being in front of it um but so i'm watching it last night uh started and also in this one they kind of make a deal with the like they know the murderer and they're like we won't turn you in but we're gonna do a podcast about it and you know that's kind of cool yeah um and uh so episode horrifically immoral but yeah yeah yeah they're like a rich couple who just lost their jobs and like they both need a

little money so like it's it's not like heaven some down-to-earth people who are like they live yeah he's a former tennis pro who like got injured and like but he's got his job done. Whatever. They're definitely really like – it's so outrageous, that part, aspect of it, that it kind of takes you out of it a little bit. We're like, no one would just know us. We'll make a deal. You can't kill any more people. That's what you're on my podcast. But the episode three starts off with the wife, Kaylee Cuoco.

I don't know the killer's name, but she's married to Chris Messina, who you recognize. He's the agent and heir. And the murderer comes into the house, and she's scared he's going to kill her because they're just getting this. He's been offered the position. We know it's you. Again, this is all very early. I'm not spoiling anything. It's the premise of the show. Like, we know it's you. Again, this is all very early. I'm not spoiling anything. It's the premise of the show.

And there's, like, a lot of tension. And there's, like, all this tension in this scene where, like, is he going to fucking kill her? And she's like, you can feel that. And there's a fucking wrap at my door in my apartment. And I open the door, and it's these two girls who live on the fourth floor of my building. And they look terrified.

Like, they're white as a ghost. Like, for real, like, for real. And you're building, like, three units, right? Yeah. Yeah, so, like, neighbors is, it's not, like, it's a big deal when neighbors reach out to each other or whatever because there's only, like, a couple. Yeah, and, like, we've met a time or two.

We've seen each other in the hall, but, like, we don't really know each other. So they're, like, they're both, like, really scared. And they're, like, they're, like, we're so sorry to bother you. It was probably, like, 10.30 last night. Like, we're so sorry to bother you i probably 10 30 last night like so sorry about you but like can you please come upstairs because we think there's somebody on our roof and how old do you think they are 20s mid to late 20s yeah uh they've been living there four years i imagine it's maybe their first new york apartment okay so

something like that um and uh i was like already so tense from this show like honestly we're just like so scared like it's just like there's there's just somebody on our roof like there is it's just like this is a script right out of of curb i could see larry going no thanks close that's what you do that's what you should do yeah and what are you gonna do I was like I was like yeah just just give me a second and I'm putting my shoes on and I'm grabbing my keys to my apartment so when I close my door I get back in and in my head I'm thinking how did you not leave like okay dude and I'm like vigilante vitalberg over here I was like the whole time I'm like there's

i'm just like they were so it was so clear in their face that like they're not they're they're they were genuinely scared people like it was it was obvious that it wasn't like a like oh we heard a bang like they were scared there is a person on the roof and what time is this 10 o'clock something like that though yeah and um and so i'm just walking up the stairs i'm behind them and i'm just trudging up the stairs i'm just like i'm just i'm going to die right now yeah i don't want to be and now i'm just gonna be murdered with these other two girls like do they come they could or they were like see up there let me know they're like we're so they're apologizing apologizing the whole way up they're like like we're so sorry to be honest our roommate who's kind of the voice of reason she's not here today but then when they were like we always call the police i

was like well let's just call them let's just do that yeah let's just do that and then we get into their apartment which by the way obviously my first time in their apartment i was like oh this is what a home feels like so i was like i have a two-bedroom apartment that i should be able to make feel welcoming. It's probably like Bizarro World because it's probably the same layout and shit. They're just nice. Yeah, it's just like, oh, this is a welcoming apartment. And then I have to go upstairs there.

And it's a very, like, if someone, it would be crazy for someone to be on their roof. Okay, because I was going to say, like, a New York City building, I would just be like, okay, I don't know. It's not like in your neighborhood someone's on your roof. That's a be like, okay, I don't know. It's not like in your neighborhood someone's on your roof. That's a big deal. I don't know. I just think you're on the top of a building. Lock your door and fucking hope for the best. It would be like –

It would be weird. Someone would have had to scroll. I got it. Okay. And they're giving an example. They're like, this is what it sounds like. And it's like they're just opening and slamming a door. And actually what ends up happening is once i get up there they are

reinvigorated with confidence where one of the other friends is like because i was following them up and then i just followed them all the way up yeah she's like oh just go just go just open it and like we would feel better now that you're here and i was like i guess we'll go down the ship together and there was no one there and it was fine i went back down we'll start watching tv but like the fact that i was so willing to not – to die. Again, the look on their face was like there's something up. There's a problem happening. It's either a monster or a human in either way.

And I was just like I don't want to be rude. I guess it would be awkward to say let's just call the police. So I'm just going. I'm just going. I think I could be like, yo, man, like come fucking stand on the train tracks with me. There's a train coming. But you got to do it. You got to do it.'d be like well i couldn't say no it like i what am i gonna send these these women these girls back upstairs well i do i do feel you on that because i yeah to just

be like like that's why i say lowry david you'd have to be such a selfish asshole to just be like nope nope but i know i was like yeah just give me a second And I like Let my My door just closes on itself So I was like Yeah just give me a second And I just let it close While I put my shoes on On their face Or they

No it was like It wasn't like I didn't No but they're still On the outside of the door But you know how You kind of like Hold it for a second

And they're like You can do what you want With this door You can either put your hand there Or not So it closed And they didn't You should have just

Gotten For quiet or not. So it closed. And they didn't. You should have just gotten quiet. Get out of here, girls! He got me! Call the cops! But the, I was so, as I was putting on my shoes,

I remember vividly looking at them until I left two on them, my two fingers right here. And I just went, I hope they're not there when I open that door. Yeah, so they came to their senses. We're being ridiculous.

Let's just go. And I opened the door. They were right there. Fucking there they were. God damn. That is funny. I don't know what I would do. I think part of me being realistic, I would say to them, I'm down to try to help you.

But girls, what do you think I'm realistically going to do here? Yeah. If there is somebody up there, do you think I'm going to fight them? Yeah, what is... Now that I think about it, none of us, we walk, because you walk into their apartment and they have a spiral staircase up to the roof. None of us grabbed a weapon, but I should have got a knife or something. It's a testament to you.

They thought, let's go get the guy from downstairs. I guess, the guy who stole our downstairs. The guy who stole our flowers? The guy who steals my flowers and leaves that rotten meat out there all the time. I bet you they call you rotten meat. Somebody get... There's somebody on the roof. What do we do? Get rotten meat. Look at that animal on the second floor.

I do still have the lightboxer there, so probably he can hear me just... Do you still do that while listening to like comedy and just laughing no that's jumping rope the lightboxer

has it's own thing so that's so fucking funny but do you still do that you jumping rope hysterically laughing yeah the guy who

ah ah ah ah ah ah jumping rope and laughing they just hear

incredibly loud banging and rotting yeah let's go get the he'll go scare them off like They'd be jumping rope and laughing. They'd just hear incredibly loud banging and rotten meat. Yeah, let's go get the – he'll go scare them off. You're going to get the troll in the basement. Go get the creature. I'm obviously the person you come to now that I think about it. Have him bring his skeleton.

If all you know from me is – yeah, yeah. There's still an eight-foot skeleton on his fucking porch. I'm surprised they weren't just like, it's rotten meat. He's up there. Rotten meat's upstairs. You're looking to scare something away. And you only know me from observing me in the building? I'm the guy.

I'm a junkyard dog who lives in that building. They probably think, oh, that's the super's son or something like that. He works there because he doesn't have to pay rent because he fights away the fucking rats. You're Charlie. It's Charlie work in the basement. 100%. That's so good. That makes perfect sense.

They came to me. But I called the super and he goes, you go get the guy downstairs. The rotten meat guy. And they probably at the same time go, the rotten meat guy. Yeah, the rotten meat guy. He's a pussy. He go, the rotten meat guy. Yeah, the rotten meat guy. He's a pussy. He won't say no to anything. All right, let's do it, ladies.

Yeah, those are moments. I mean, I kind of had one with the haunted house recently where I'm like, all right, I guess I'm going to do this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And something—I've always told myself I'm not going to do these things but here i am doing them i don't know why it was just just like actually i was thinking of um a scene as i was walking up the stairs from a great movie another bedtime type movie for me um girl the dragon tattoo when daniel craig at the end comes back into the house for Stellan Skarsgård. And he's like – Stellan Skarsgård right now has him tied up in the basement and he's got the noose around his neck or whatever it is. And he's got a glass of whiskey and he's just like very medically, I guess, telling him what's about to happen to him.

And he's like, you're going to make a mess and I'm'm gonna disembowel you and this and that and that and he's just like why did you come in here he's like because because if you remember the movie he's running away right and he falls down the hill and he's like come in have a drink and he's like every part of your body told you you knew who i was every part but you didn't want to be rude so you came in anyway and it's gonna be and was like, I was walking up the stairs going, I'm doing that. I'm just doing the move. I mean, this is the extreme level of it. Like, you know,

you're willing to fucking risk your life because of stupid shit. But the amount of stuff that gets done out of people's being afraid of being rude or being their reputation or how they're perceived. If you can harness that, if you're just a person

who's like, I just do what I want to do. I know this person is uncomfortable. I'm going to make them do it anyway. The people who are comfortable enough with silence are the best negotiators and the best business people because they'll just go until you go like, okay, we'll take the deal. Silence are like the best negotiators and the best business people because they'll just go.

Until you go like, OK, we'll take the deal. Yeah. And it's just like that's like the littlest example of it. But if you can if you can be like, yeah, I know the average person is going to like walk in here and I can kill them then. So like I'll just make they'll do it because they're all fucking puppets. They're all just little little babies. Like, I don't want this person to think I'm rude it's like who fucking gives a shit i should be like get the hell out of here yeah just slam the door in their face and say hope you don't die but if you do to be honest doesn't really matter to me sincerely rotten meat see you later man here's the truth dads want steak when

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Type KFC into the search bar. And order Dad's Favorite Grill Package for Father's Day today. omahasteaks.com. Keyword KFC. And then the last thing. I'd like you to lean forward with me for this one because was this what you were talking about before when we were walking downstairs you were like i gotta tell you something no that was the way okay okay yeah yeah yeah before we move on because this is on the same topic um jackie you want to explain what you did to your neighbors last week? Oh God. Another Jackie situation. I, um, so I, I had was like editing the podcast, but it was late and I realized I left my computer charger here.

And so then I, like, I just realized like, I don't have a way, I didn't have a key card cause I'd lost that. So I didn't have a way of getting into the office. So then I was kind of like, well, what do I do? Like I don't really have like any backup chargers or anything. So then I went, I decided. What time was it? This was.

Jackie's a night owl. This was 2 a.m. at the time. We get texts from Jackie at like 1 1 45 in the morning can you do those ads i think like the podcast should be up like now so that was so that was the night when oh no the different night sorry anyways so then uh anyways it was like 2 a.m and i was like okay i need like to finish editing and like do a whole export or whatever so i went i have seven floors in my building i went door to door i pressed my ear up against every door to see if I could hear anybody like awake, to see if I could hear like any rummaging from inside.

And then I, there were three, like I heard like kind of like rummaging. We got rummaging. Rummaging around from three people. I knocked on three doors. Only one guy answered. And he was like old and foreign, didn't even like know what a computer was pretty much. So he was like old and foreign, didn't even like know what a computer was pretty much. So he was of no help. And then, and I actually went like twice pretty much because I was like, somebody has to be awake.

Nobody was awake. And then I ended up. Up and down seven flights? Yeah. How many flights? Eight per, so seven times eight, 56. 56 apartment buildings. 56 apartment buildings. Did you bring a glass or just go, you just.

I just like went up and just put my I wish somebody would have seen that but what happened so that it was a whole fucking thing then I was like I couldn't even picture

Jackie walking away from the foreign guy going you're of no use you have no hope to me he was so excited he brought me out he was like oh I have it and it was like

one of those power strip things and I was like oh no so then that's such a set up to be fucking heartbroken. Yeah,

I know. He's got it. Yes. Then I like. The white thing, the white plug. And he brings out a fucking power strip. Yeah,

he brought out like five different like, whatever strips. He kept being like, oh no, no, no, I know what you're talking about. It was just like different power strips every time.

It was like stuff. And then I, uh, go puffs a like. Yeah, there you go. Big, huge charging block or whatever thing. 40 bucks for it.

And I was like okay this has to work. It just said whatever. And then I had like a double penetration thing going where I had like the charging block thing. Jackie just stop. You cannot. You knew what you were doing there right? No I'm just saying

it was like you know we were going in from both ends. Oh, okay. As long as that is the actual reference. No, no, no. We were just glossing over. No. So I'm DPing my computer.

But wait, I actually don't know what you mean. What does that mean? So I just had a phone charger with a cord in one thing. But that wouldn't, like, it was not powerful enough to do it. But it was keeping it alive. And then the other thing was kind of keeping it alive too so i was like so like before it would be like it would last five minutes but then if i it's a whole thing where like it's so boring but like it would last five minutes if i was like on my computer but then if i closed it then it would go up by one so then i was working for five minutes closing it waiting five minutes working

so like it was taking forever and i was like this isn't gonna get through the export so then when i when i did the double penny thing then i had one there one there would last 10 minutes so then i did one that i would go work for 10 minutes close it whatever and then i just eventually i got through the export and everything but it took four times the amount that it should have taken because i was just five and exports always take a long time as it the export takes like a lot of power, too. So I was like, this isn't going to get through the export. So it worked, but it was just not. It was just the most ratchet. Yeah, that's a Jackie project right there.

That is, but I'm sure people would. But I adapted, I improvised, and I overcame. See, you're going to tell that story in an interview one day. And you should. You should. That tell that story in an interview one day. You should. I didn't have my key card. I couldn't get into the office. Here's how I overcame. Maybe leave out the double penetration.

My biggest takeaway is that you call it double penny. Everyone fucking had a dope and pincer there. Double penny. I imagine Jackie and a few of the gals in her crew call it double. Yeah. It's not like, it's not like I'm like,

yeah. Yeah. Um, no, that is, that reminds me of, I love like the stories of like young people. Yeah.

Of what we talk about sometimes, like the, uh, blackout tour, like getting close to Peter Pan buses. So we can steal the wifi. I love it. It's like, it's just fucking fucking you just had to do what you had to do yeah but there's a lot of people who don't do that shit who would just be like i don't know like the podcast didn't work today right and and it's like yeah no not you because you're the best

producer in the world what are you associate senior yesterday i i no producer or sales of your frank the tank but yesterday i um so I had to get the ads. We didn't put on Dropbox. So I had to get in the building to get the ads from that just to do one movement, one click of the mouse and move it over. But once again, I don't like key cards. So I was like, okay, I don't know how to do this. How did you lose your key card? I don't know.

I just don't know. It's one of those things where like you didn't, you don't lose until you lose it until like one day. Like I knew where it was the whole time and now I'm just like, I don't, whatever. I also don't know i just don't know it's one of those things where like you didn't you don't lose until you lose it until like one day like i knew where it was the whole time and now i'm just like i don't whatever i also don't know if we really get two key cards for the kc radio group that would be fantastic yeah well so i got you guys and your dirty sneakers and your no key cards it's just you're just mirrors of each other it's unbelievable but basically it's again it's like a long boring story but basically i was like okay this was early in the day on Sunday. I was like, I have to get in the building somehow. I literally DMed a bunch of people being like, is anybody in the building?

Nobody responded. So I was like, okay, I need Enrique's number because Enrique can send me the code so I can get the app or whatever. That's all it takes? Yeah. I texted 15 people. There's a code? There's an app.

There's an app or whatever. To get into the, and you could like buzz that? To get in? You're talking about? Yeah. Oh. Just whatever. So then I was like,

I was like, I'll be good quick. But basically I was just like, okay, and I texted a bunch of people. Nobody had to read his number. I texted Grace O'Malley because Grace O'Malley was maybe going to go to Gubball

and she was like, she had her key card and she was like, I'll bring my key card if you come to Gubball. So I was like, okay, now I have to go to Gubball.

So I went to Gubball. Go all the way to a fucking festival to get a key and grace and grace goes oh i forgot so then so then i that sucks where you have to be polite about it because you're still the idiot in the situation but you're like but yeah exactly like it was not her fault by any chance but right right and like i don't also like my other friend wanted to go whatever so then i come back and it's like like, 9. I had texted multiple people being like, somebody has to have Enrique's number.

I waited outside with my friend. We went across the street to have drinks at Triple Crown to see if I could see anybody going in and out of the building to see if I could catch them. Sat outside for an hour while I'm texting a bunch of people seeing if anybody had Enrique's number. And Enrique finally sent me the thing. And I finally went, got in, did the, um,

whatever. Then went all the way home. Sorry, everyone. What time is this? This is at like, like now 10 PM or whatever. Then I went all the way home,

realized I dropped the wrong file. Oh my God. Jackie came all the way back here, dropped the right file, went back. And I felt so bad. I got a text at midnight being like, wait, is the ad that John did where he's just eating crackers the whole time?

I'm like – Just eating fucking chips. I'm like, no. It's definitely not. There was just a video, a six-minute long video of you just eating chips and laughing. Of course not. What is that? I don't know. I don't know why that was there.

It was on Friday. I just hit record when you walked in. And then you sat down. I didn't know you were going to eat first. So it was just rolling. And then I reset it when we went to go actually do the ad. That's fucking funny. So there's just six minutes of you eating chips.

Oh, so you saw the time and date and everything. You're like, this is the one. It was called Kirk Ads. But there was also Kirk. There was also two kirk ads files so i realized i dropped both in but then the the main one didn't make it yeah um and failed so anyway man if i knew all that i would have been like i don't know put the pot out on tuesday whatever you know that's yeah those are the stories of of like there's everybody has a

story like that at work whether it's a podcast or a presentation or whatever. You're just dumb. That's why you just need to have jobs and live a few years and do things first because you're just like, I have to make that mistake probably three or four times before I stop making it. But eventually you will,

and then you'll be 30. And by the time you're like 50, you're like, I figured everything out. Time to die. But you'll just know. I mean, maybe not. I could see Jackie forgetting her charger like tonight. Right away, doing that again.

But usually you're like, all right, got that out of the system. I love and learn. I mean, the fact that it was two weeks in a row that you had the exact same issue with the key card was killing me. Yeah. But I figured it out. I adapted. I improvised. I overcame and now I have the key card was killing me. Yeah. But I figured it out. I adapted. I improvised. I overcame, and now I have the key card.

That's like the Marine mantra. Yeah, it is. All right. Wait. Last thing. This is actually kind of the segue. Yeah, let me lean in. We got to get cozy here, right?

The segue is going to go into One Minute Man. And actually, it could even count as the first One Minute Man. Mm-hmm. Was Ted Kaczynski that dude? As time has gone on, his manifesto sounds more and more like... Oh, I read it. I read it this weekend. Pretty good.

Pretty accurate. Pretty good stuff. Dude, I remember that Netflix series. Yeah, Manhunt Unabomber. I remember being like, now you can't blow up Planned Parenthoods left and right. But what are you saying? Not Planned Parenthoods. It was universities and airports.

Oh, who was the Planned Parenthood guy? I don't know. That's how you know. University, airport, Unabomber. But all of this stuff about technology and society. But here's the thing. Here's what I thought while I was reading. Industrial society and its future.

35 pages of the big picture. You read the whole fucking manifesto? I skimmed some parts. I was like, I get it. And don't get me wrong. Some parts of the ramblings are madman. Other parts are pretty good. Like, as I was reading it and nodding along.

Next week at KS Radio Book Camp, Book Club, mine comes. I was reading it, and I was like, this is how, like, I was picturing it where, like, if someone was pitching me like being gay if they're like if they were like like like if he's like dude are you fucking sick of jackson yeah yeah yeah he's like you want to fuck like do you fuck holes but not be bothered by do you love hanging with the boys like fucking yeah he's like isn't it just the best doesn't this suck like yeah he's like isn't this part awesome like yeah he's like what do it just the best Doesn't this suck I'm like yeah He's like Isn't this part awesome

I'm like yeah He's like What do you think we fucked dude Or What do you think we start Blowing people up I'm like Are you

It's a hard right I'm right there I'm right there dude You just You lost me at the very end With a hard turn There's just this one piece Of my brain

That's saying no to that one But aside from that We're good Pretty simpatico Yeah The He was so right On like all that shit to that one. But aside from that, we're getting pretty simpatico. He was so right on all that shit. You know what I was thinking, again, as I read

Industrial Society and its Future? I don't even think it's that he's right. He was right, so to speak. But I don't even think it's predicting the future. It's just we've had the same problems forever. Yeah, he's articulated it the future. It's just we've had the same problems forever. He's articulated it very well.

He's talking about transgender. He's talking about protests from the left. By the way, you might think because he's like he was he hated the left. Really hated lefties. But he's also

just like, and also I'm concerned if you fucking idiots. It's like, you want to talk about a guy who's fucking a middleman? Even Steven was Ted Kaczynski. He was like, Mr. Impartial.

Mr. Bipartisan. He was like fucking roasting motherfuckers. You left, you suck at this, this, this, and you idiots on the right. You get mad about how they react societally. You don't think it's because you make sweeping changes in business radically? You fucking idiots. And I was like, dead split bars, man.

Get him. Get him. Get him. If he didn't fucking blow up innocent people. No, he did. No, I'm saying if he didn't, it would be... He didn't. I do remember... I also thought for sure he was dead 20 years ago.

I've watched a good amount of the Unabomber documentaries and our shows and stuff. What possesses you at 81 to finally do it? Or did he just get the opportunity, maybe? Maybe he's been waiting and he's like, alright, the guards finally left me alone or something. How weird is that? know like you think if you

make it this far you're in for the long haul maybe and and like or i guess maybe eventually you just get sick of it you're like fuck it but but yeah if he was i also i know that um you know you shouldn't kill people yeah shouldn't bomb innocent people and i also know a great deal of like his legacy was like the the fear and the hysteria but his body count is not that impressive it is it's three deaths 23 injuries i think 28 that happens at the mall like every day like if you go to school in America, that's recess. Are we really that impressed? You come back from lunch at Dunkaroos,

you're missing a few classmates. That's just Tuesday, dude. It's like a hunt back in the Spartan days. Not everyone's coming back. Right. You playing tag? Bring me back on my shield.

Give me a proper death. I mean, like, yes, sure. Nobody, you know, within, like, a several hundred mile radius would even open their mail or go to work or any of that. For 20 years. Yeah, like, I mean, at some point, you know, within like several hundred mile radius would even open their mail or go to work or any of that. For 20 years. Yeah, like, I mean, at some point, you know. Motherfucker had evasive tactics. Yeah. It was live in the middle of nowhere.

Yeah, that's the thing. If you just live the shittiest life possible, it's almost like who cares about catching him? Just let him stay out there. He's only killed three people. Whatever. Just let Ted sit in the fucking woods. Who gives a shit? You know what's so easy?

I'm just so fascinated by... So that was his brother's wife recognized the handwriting? Yeah. Because he's an incel. Ted was like the first incel. Him and his brother had a fucking virgin bond. Right. And that's why he fell out with his brother because his brother started fucking chicks.

His brother was like, I got pussy, bro. He also was going to have transgender assignments. and that's why he fell out with his brother because his brother started fucking chicks I got pussy bro that's why I always maintain before you start killing people fuck especially when you're a young dude if you're shooting up schools there's no way you fucked yet there's no way you're steadily hooking up

because you would just be so excited maybe I'm getting a blowjob this weekend who knows and you would put down the gun if ted just got some pussy like his brother was like dude ted this this shit sucks this is great over here you should try it no no i'm gonna go blow this shit up he was when he worked at like a wood uh i don't know treatment plant whatever where you cut down trees and take down trees and get them ready to be made into 2x4s and all that stuff. And he was dating a woman there. And I don't know about dating, but they were...

Bro, let me tell you something. If you're one of those girls, or that only girl probably, where you're like, I was entertaining the thought of dating the Unabomber. I've got bad taste in men. I think she like... I don't think it ever became anything. I think she quickly was like let's just be work friends and uh he again like said he was like the first to incel yeah no i don't know if that was what started it but it was like he started writing limericks dirty limericks about her and posting them around like that's that's in your

like yeah boy that's why you didn't want the... I mean, he was like, if you guys make the internet big, a lot of people like me are gonna say shit. Trust me. Trust me because I'm talking about me. It's gonna be a goddamn nightmare for everybody. You're gonna give me

a voice? And all my friends? Holy shit. You know, like, really smart guys who can't form personal bonds. It's going to be terrible for everybody. It was. Yeah. I mean, he was,

but man, but, but yeah, what I'm saying too is like, it is just like, it wasn't like, Oh, we saw it.

It was just, it's just what happens when he's like technology and, and just this, the same problem in the world. It is. I think it's interesting though though when you have the foresight to be like I think there was an article

an interview with David Bowie. Have you ever seen that clip where he's talking about the internet? And like I don't know I guess I'm a little bit skeptical now but more often than not like I don't think AI is going to be the end of the world. We've talked about that. I think like self-driving cars will probably figure it out,

and it'll be normal. But some people really right away can be like, this is going to be used by pedophiles and rapists and terrorists, and this is going to happen, and that's going to happen, and this is going to be bad. And then when that comes to fruition, it's like, oh, you're right. You're pretty accurate. It was kind of interesting, his argument, which I get to,

where it was like, I think you were talking about the aristocracies. Aristocracies? Aristocrats? Aristocracies. Whatever. Aristocrats, yes. Aristocracies. Aristocracies.

I was going to say this is one of those that you got to flip the inflection. Documentaries. Aristocracies of the past. I don't know about specifically medieval times, but he's like, they got bored because you just could push a button and you got what you wanted. You didn't have to work for it. But as humans, we need to fucking work for it. That's the only way we can get gratification and shit like that.

And that was a bit of a prediction of the future. If you can just get stuff brought to you, there's no gratification at any point in your day, ever. And I was like that one makes sense i am hungry though but on that note let me let me go puff a fucking uh phone charger i i uh i um like there's such a, you know, like, if that dude just, like, put all that into, like, a fucking campaign and, like, ran for office or something, could have been, you know, like.

No, see, I was thinking about that. I think he would be awful because, again, look, obviously. Or just wrote books and fucking was a, you know, college professor rather than being a a goddamn terrorist i i still look at it i'm a middleman and and i'm a centrist and it was everyone's like oh yeah yeah that's but like the only thing worse than radical extremes are the middle where everyone just goes fuck you like everything he was saying again makes sense there there is i'm not arguing for anything here. But you read it. You're like, ah, I see what you're saying. In at least the parts I read more, I got kind of glossed over after a while.

I can't wait to go through the manifesto and find some insane shit and be like, look at this clip of John saying the manifesto. At no point did I read where he's like, we should bomb shit. I think the threat was publish this manifesto or I bomb shit. But it's like – I was like, yeah. Okay, that makes – but as I was reading it, it was like this would piss off these people. This would piss off these people. And you're like – Everybody, yeah.

Everyone would hate it. Then they did. But the – this is all to say the political future is what popped into my mind at first. And then I was like, never mind. Everyone would fucking hate it. Dude, there's only like one thing in the world that is, in the country, I should say, that is bipartisan, and it's all this UFO shit. All of these UFO, like, groups and, like, new departments are all, like, equally backed

by the extreme, the politicians on either side. Really? Which is funny because I remember, I always, you know, people say all the time, like, the one thing that would bring, like, humankind together is if there was, like, an extraterrestrial threat or something like that. And it's not even a threat. It's just like...

Yeah, we bang pots and pans out the window for about three weeks, and then we all go back to killing each other. But even just the, like, the progress they're making on talking about it. It's like both sides are like, yeah, we got to talk about it. I don't get it. There's an interview coming out.

It's going to be like a YouTube exclusive because I couldn't put it on the podcast. But Sunday early morning, I woke up at like 4 a.m. That's what I do now. That was something I forgot to say when we were talking about things that make us old. You had put up a sort of like, I get one wake up now. Yes, and that's it. I wake up and the brain starts working and the anxiety

racks you and you're just like, well, I guess I'll just be up for the day now. But I was reading an article from this guy, Michael Schellenberger, who's like sub stack, independent journalist. He's been on Rogue and a Bunch. He's like boys like matt taivi there's like a crew of them that are kind of like those guys who are on just like exist on the internet doing journalism yeah so they're not beholding to any uh any any networks or anything like that but um so i i interviewed him for like an hour

and a half the other day we were just talking talking about the aliens and the UFOs and shit. And so that'll be out. It's not on the pod, like the regular feed. It'll just be video only because it's not. It was just so weird. I was like, it's a little bit different than what we're used to here. But I can't. I cannot believe it.

It is so fucking crazy to me that this is happening. And for the most part, again, people are just kind of like, what's going on with Vanderpump Rules though? And – I guess because I'm not on the other side of it by any means. But like my – the argument I would make is like, well, what can you do? Well, yeah yeah there's no but just more so he was like i'm not talking about my beliefs or whether i want or don't want aliens i do not he doesn't put really any opinion into it he's like all i'm talking about are is the

information and how it's the whistleblowing the like the way it's being disseminated the way it's being censored, because those are tangible issues. Whether you're talking about UFOs or COVID or Trump or whatever, you can talk about information and suppression and all that shit. So he's sticking to the facts about it.

But he's like, I've been a journalist for a long time. I'd like to think I know what I'm doing. I am talking to people that in my experience, I can deem to be extremely professional, smart, like, do things for the right reasons, very credible. And they're all telling me there are 12 to 15 fucking spaceships from other goddamn species that we like have. I mean, that's fucking crazy. Yeah. And people just kind of move the goalposts where it's like, they're like, oh, that was

just some Nevada like farmer in Roswell. I need to hear from someone credible. And then it's like, okay, well, someone from the government and the military is saying it. And now a lot of people are. And they're like, oh, yeah, but they never, you know, it's all anonymous it's all anonymous it's like okay well now we have one who's putting his name on it and he's being backed by like a retired colonel and an air force fucking admiral or whatever you know and then they go well i need video and they're like okay here's videos of it like well that's

not high high quality enough and it's like until i put you in a fucking spaceship and send you to fucking outer space are you, you know. Are these people, like, I don't deny it. I'm like, yeah, I think that probably is true. Yeah, there's a lot of people in this guy's case that were like, I have been, like, a fan of yours and I'm really, like, I've been singing your praises about how good of a journalist you are. And now your credibility is like totally shot because you're going down like the rabbit hole of aliens like how silly is that and he's like i don't know man like if if you have access to like dozens of really like important and intelligent people and

they're all saying the same thing he's like okay maybe i'm a victim of like this massive disinformation plot and i'm a part of it okay i guess that could be happening yeah but chances are it's more than there's just like something going on and the fact that his thing is more like we we deserve to like know i actually don't know if i agree with that on him yeah he was like i think everyone could agree that most – there are some secrets that we want kept secret, nuclear codes and fucking whatever. And he was like, I think this is something that the public deserves to know about. If it's a threat, if it could be an asset, if it can be this, that, the other thing, we deserve to know. I'm like, I don't know about that.

I'd argue that – I think it would actually cause problems and hysteria and all that. We should not know because people like you and I, we're fine. But there are those fucking people who the only thing keeping them from, I don't know, being a total and complete piece of shit is the promise of heaven. Yeah, yeah, the religion. Let's not keep that. Right, right. There's a good barrier set up.

Let them have that fucking barrier. Let's give it a hundred more years. Because right now there are still religious wackos. I think we're slowly just getting away from that. And when that group of the population is down to like 5%, then we'll do it. The only person who's a religious wacko is someone who's susceptible to being a lunatic or psychopath. Oh, okay. So have the one thing between them and embracing their lunacy be, when I die, I go to heaven.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Let them – Right. Let them – let that stop them. Well, you know those assholes will also just spin it and be like this is what God this is all God's plan too alright losers you guys were wrong you got proven fucking wrong

they're doing the same thing they'll be the opposite of the people who are like well I need to see video we'll just keep moving the globe well God made aliens too we just lost that part of the book yeah the also they're like well how come there's only like We just lost that part of the book.

Also, they're like, well, how come there's only like a couple people? And he's like, no, there are stories all over the world all the time that people either just write off or don't pay attention to or whatever. But the latest one, he's funny, too. He was like, I've only tweeted about this a couple times. There's parts of it. He doesn't talk about the life forms. I'm just talking about the information and spacecraft. Because he's like, I don't think the people are ready for that.

Which is interesting because I thought as a journalist, you would just be like, here's all the facts. You do with it. But he's like, I don't think my audience or any audience is really ready to talk about. And he kept calling them beings. And I thought he was saying beans. And in my head, I was thinking about, they always call that one video the tic tac yeah but that also could be shaped like a bean so he was like i don't talk about the beans and i was like oh okay and then he said beans beans beans and i was like so what do you mean by the beans and he was like well you

know i just didn't think people were ready to have that discussion about the beans and i was like but what are beans and he was like look you know we were looking at each other i was like oh beans beans okay okay um but the one one article he was like i was hesitant to even talk about it but you know if you want to talk about other pieces of evidence and information and stuff. There's the latest one, I think, was in, I don't know, somewhere in Europe or some shit. Middle East, I think. This guy found, like, an aircraft

and says he went into it and that the inside was bigger than the outside and that when he left it four hours had passed in like earth time and you know we're like inclined to just be like i don't know that's fucking crazy but he's just like i don't know there's any because he said there's that is uh consistent with a lot of ufo uh encounters that people say that thing about inside bigger than the outside. Really? Which is like where it...

What fascinates me about the whole thing is if this sort of shit is true and they have the technology and the ability, that means there's some sort of time travel, that means there's some sort of... It's just everything you know gets thrown out. Yeah. And things like...

That's why you just never know anything. Something could be bigger on the inside than it is the outside. That is now possible. It's just like, that's my dick, girls. It feels bigger when it's on the inside, I promise you. But anyway, that's out on Wednesday. It's just like me and him just talking for like an hour and a half about that report and everything like that. But I was like, so what do you do now you know and he was like i'm gonna keep like i have

a lead like a new lead on like more information that i'll keep doing but like i don't know i don't think we're really ready for this yet but what are you gonna do i think i i think the most logical thing would be that there is something going on there are more leaks and shit happening and i i almost feel like they're like this is gonna get out so we better like start preparing them yeah there are ufos and there are non-human because in like 50 years you're gonna learn that like the fucking president's been an alien for the last 100 years shit like that but i don't know it's part of me it's crazy how much people still just continue to talk about the regular

dumb nonsense going on in the world. But that's what we're here to do today. One minute, man. It's one of those things where you can't. It's like anything.

If you had cancer, you can't stop living your life. I don't want to just talk about the cancer. Right, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It sucks or it's weird or whatever's happening

is happening. But you know what? I can get down with still live your life, but almost some of the stuff that you're getting bent out of shape about, it's like, I don't know, bro, stop. There's aliens. I'm going to get eaten by a space force. Yeah, so let's just have a good time here.

I'll check the roof. Yeah. Your cult has gone too far, John. Swifties are now wearing diapers to Taylor Swift concerts so that they don't miss songs. That makes sense. That checks out. That is – I saw this a while ago.

This is one of those things where I – I think probably what? Like one girl took a picture wearing it? I'm sure a person did it. Oh, I'm sure there's somebody. Do you think there's someone who took a shit or pissed in the diaper? Shit, probably not. Piss.

Piss. You think there are people? There's girls who put on a diaper, went to Taylor Swift, in the middle of the concert were like, I've been drinking, I have to pee, but I think she's going to do a maroon tonight, and I'm going to fucking just stand here and go. I think so. Yeah. And maybe it's because I'm the rotten meat man.

Like, I'm not. Maybe it's because I've also done that. I wouldn't. I just don't even do it with a diaper. That's the step. You would just piss your pants? I'd probably just piss. No.

Like, if I was at. Here's the deal. If you were at, like, a fucking Woodstock, maybe. Yeah, yeah. No, if I'm at Gillette Stadium woodstock maybe yeah yeah yeah no if i'm at gillette stadium i'm not gonna piss my pants yeah i went i wanted to tell you i wanted the show i used you went to the bathroom yeah um it is funny i something i never thought about the because it's usually the reverse at at stadiums the girl the women's line is out of

control yeah because you know they take longer and there's only stalls, there's no urinals, and then this is 95% girls. So they just start... There were some girls at, I think, one of the first Gillette shows that got... Or wherever, Philly, maybe, that got kicked out because they went in the men's room. Which is crazy, because guess what?

The men's room was empty. You were more than... Yeah. You could have come on in, why not? I guess some security guys saw them and fucking kicked them out. So they spent all this money and they were like, we had to go. We went into the men's room and they were like, get the fuck out. That's crazy. I mean, you're a total narc asshole to do that.

But yeah, just go to the bathroom. But also, I mean, it's just – it's gotten – so here's my question. I think – I don't think we've talked gotten so here's my question I think I don't think we've talked about this on the podcast I don't know if I posed this question I think I'm not quite sure because I was a little too young for Michael Jackson to really understand

what was going on but I think she's the biggest thing in music of our lifetime for sure you think she's bigger than Michael Jackson again I can't really speak to exactly i feel like people when they talk about him that he was like on some other level but like from breaking ticket master to even even a rumor or a story about doing this even being possible fucking putting on diapers so you don't miss a song and the money and the you know how fame and

all of it i just nobody's even touching it. Not even like Beyonce. Beyonce has a tour going on right now that's like, eh. I'm sure in certain circles they talk about it all the time, but in the general public, it's like Ed Sheeran's on tour right now. They're selling out and all that shit, don't get me wrong, but it's just like, whatever, you know? I mean, yeah, she's like, you know, she probably will fucking, you know,

they say she's going to gross a billion by the end of the tour. She's probably making like a quarter of a billion just on like the East Coast, like up and down like the main markets on the Northeast. But you know what? Also, people were criticizing ticket sales prices and stuff like that. And people were like, you know what? The Beatles, the Beatles was $5 or whatever it cost to see the Beatles. And obviously that's your, you know, whatever the price was,

inflation and things like that. They talk about their first show. Do you know what the Beatles did? This is like their first show in New York. You know how long their first show was? 40 minutes or something. It was like 26. Yeah.

Taylor gets up there for four god damn hours bro I don't know why sports gets this treatment but music doesn't but like you know everyone's like they were

playing against fucking you know accountants and shit like baseball and basketball like those guys were part time players

like music was probably the same way it's probably like these guys are like sports is almost like an athletic in it's own right.

You know what I mean? Like, to tour the way. Yeah, music. Like, to tour the way she does, to put on a, like, and her and, like, everybody, you put on, like, a four-hour show and you do it three nights in a row every fucking weekend. It's insane. I was tired from going. From just being, standing up. I had to run around and do all the singing and shit.

I do it on a podcast. Put it on a 60-yard stage. She probably runs like five miles a night on stage. I can't even do a few podcasts without losing my voice. Give me a fucking break. I genuinely don't. I haven't done podcasts. Grant, we scream.

Here's a question for you. Does she wear a diaper? What does she do? Does she ever got to go to the bathroom? The fuck? That's what I do. Outfit change. Quick piss. imagine she's just popping a squat like i imagine that has to happen probably yeah like yeah i'm gonna get some dehydrated out there you're like you're sweating and shit

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That's going to be a fucking shit show. For months, they said. And so an overpass collapsed in like a oil tanker like exploded which then i think caused like an overpass to it lit on fire it was on fire underneath it like you know inferno jet fuel doesn't melt steel beams for a while the video i saw was like a crazy like big black smoke and big flames like coming up and over and then this was before it collapsed like the people drove through and they were like holy shit and i think like moments later it collapsed in did you see the video of the guy who they interviewed about it

i was passed out i mean that accident was so good and just to be like i was fucking like passed out like like you know you're on an interview with the news or whatever he was like oh yeah i was i was fucking like you know those in a coma i was in my fentanyl coma i couldn't fucking i didn't hear about the fence the the uh overpass collapsing out is a funny thing i'll say it could mean a bunch of different things i mean i was sleepy i actually start saying i knocked out yeah when i fell asleep because pass out usually implies a substance. I'm like, ah, I fucking knocked out my bed. When I say passed out, it usually means I fell asleep. But that guy, you definitely are thinking.

I saw someone say, and it made me realize, that the regional accent is going the way of the dodo. Interesting. Because the internet, TV, it's going the way the dota interesting because the internet tv yeah it's more and more rare you know the pockets where these these accents exist like they're smaller and smaller tighter and tighter interesting that when you find someone like that it's like put him in a museum seriously like record that voice and keep it there for that'll be remember when they uh that they did that they became the meme the the mummy voice where they thought they could recreate the voice

we need to like you know a hundred years from now you you go to a museum and you press play and you they did that. They became the meme, the mummy voice, where they thought they could recreate the mummy voice. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. We need to like, you know, a hundred years from now, you go to a museum and you press play and you hear the fucking Delco accent. You're like, holy shit, these creatures used to talk like this? These fucking dirt balls?

But I mean, 95 is kind of a disaster as is. I can't even imagine the shit show in that area. People, if you commute to and from work and you get on 95 and the trucking and the you know delivery all that shit this is like why why i think i saw something just do it i saw something that said like meanwhile in other countries and they had like a time lapse video of i think it was france where they just like in a night it

said friday night and it was like time lapse from like friday to sunday they like fixed the whole fucking thing like built the whole bridge so i don't know if it's you know america or i i you know i don't want to get tinfoil hat about that but we just we're hearing enough about trains derailing and fucking highways exploding now i'm like what's going on with the infrastructure something's going on here i don't know why this one little strip of philly is such a problem, but you know. Gotta go through all this red tape. Get rid of the red tape. Turns out the red tape was keeping things together. So 95's fucked.

But then also the red table then is what makes it forever to put it back together. Right. So it's like without it, it breaks. With it, it takes six months to build. Right. Right. So it's like without it, it breaks with it. It takes six months to build. Right. What are you going to do?

What are you going to do? Um, these fucking over across the pond over in England, these fucking British guards passing out. Oh, I, I was in hysterics when, when the one who was face down,

like face down, talking nose on the pavement and then when they run out with the little world war one cops yeah and then as they're picking one up another one goes by in the background i just have this vision of just like like traffic like two-way traffic of dead bodies that was a rehearsal oh that was a rehearsal that wasn't even the real thing dude they're doing a parade for the king which in my mind wasn't even the real thing dude they're doing a parade for the king which in my mind isn't even a real thing like if you if you are i know that that that's like their version of military so you know they're brainwashed they're part of a cult but if

you do that to yourself if you like pass yourself out because you're in your furry hat and you're like i gotta play i gotta play the trombone for the fucking king you're an asshole and if you're if you don't help somebody you're an asshole and if you do all of that for a rehearsal i would be like okay conductor i'll do it right tomorrow but it's 120 degrees so this is just a walkthrough right you know i'm 50 years old right i'm gonna do this for 30 years all right i'll just do it we'll be good it's the same the same song, man. It's the same. It's never. We just walk and we play. It's fuck. We're good.

You are an asshole if you do that for someone. I like how down in Death Valley, LSU football now has air-conditioned helmets. Meanwhile, the British Guard still got to wear them. Let's put on our fur hats. Put on the same thing Luke Skywalker used to stay alive inside a fucking kangaroo. The amount of people, by the way, in the military, we know not to lock our knees. We know to do this and that. Same thing with all the California people last week.

Try living in California where our air sucks all the time. I'm like, congratulations. It sucks for you always? Whatever, dude. Fuck off. Those guys, though. Some of those pictures. Oh, my God.

Dude, I watched it, and I was just like Been there man Like I've been there a million times What do you mean? Bro just You're at a party You fucking knock out For a little bit

Party keeps going on You get up You good? I'm fucking good Been with some fucking Couple of ladies Coming Let's go to bed

Fucking fine That really was The little medical team that came in? Babe, why don't we go to bed? Why don't you fucking let the men talk around the fire? Give me your keys, babe. I'm driving home. I'm fine. You've been asleep for 45 minutes.

You think maybe it's bedtime? I think we're just getting out of the fucking bottom of some good stuff over here. What I need is another beer for you to shut the fuck up bro i've had i've had the cop brought out to me many a time metaphorical and maybe in some cases literal cot but it's so fucking funny i had the fucking the fucking warrior mentality is that you take that turn around i'm all set what i need is a fucking lighter for my cigar. Dude, that is so funny. You do have the uncanny ability.

I think it was last year we were at your house, and you were starfished on the tennis court. And I was like, I think he should probably go to bed. And everyone was like, no, he probably like go to bed and everyone's like no he's fine he's fine and you woke up like 20 minutes later and and you outlasted me by like several hours i'm good i'm good the the cots though are so fucking funny like if you are a part of the royal british guard or whatever it's called and you get caught it off that's got to be like the biggest stain on you and your family's name like oh i can't imagine you'll be harry and megan's butler get kicked out of the fucking country uh we also we were um

like right after we put out last week's episode was the zion news so zion's knocking up uh porn stars and getting aired out by his baby mamas or soon to be baby mamas. And I guess it's just, it's a different lifestyle of like fly out culture and multiple women and, and all that. But that Snapchat of just being like negotiating, being like,

so tell me how much you expect me to be paying you. And once you move to new Orleans is fucking crazy. I didn't see that. That's the thing. I'd like you to educate me a little bit. Because I've seen snippets here and there. I haven't really read many articles, but I definitely know Mariah Mills. I definitely know her, and I definitely know she's going off a little bit.

But, like, from what I see, and this might even be, like, I might not even have a unique take. This might be the overwhelming opinion. He's done nothing wrong no no okay it's just like you're stupid for like yeah i don't know getting fucking caught up with chicks and having your you know you clearly are picking women who are quick to air you out and all this sort of shit you're fucking porn anytime you fuck a porn star yeah dude i wish i picked better women too wait let me tell me those are the ones who would fuck me. I saw a guy being like,

this is a phenomenal case study in exactly what you should not, what other people should not do, but probably will. Like kind of like you're not, a lot of people like, you know, throwing stones or judging. When you're not in the position of having like multiple porn stars throwing themselves i think mariah mills is like a porn star i think the other girl was like an only fans girl or like

i think they're both involved in fucking on camera i guess one is pregnant the other one was like i'm late so you better hope she was like yeah you better hope i'm not pregnant because i'm late right now and he invited both of them to come live in New Orleans, which is that's what I'm saying. Like, I don't know. It's just such a different world where you'd be like, I'm like fucking all these girls in different cities. And I guess this is where I think you can maybe blame a little bit worse. It's like, what are you going to invite? It's like inviting all your girlfriends to the party.

Yeah, because the one girl was like, what did you think was going to happen? Like her tweet was like, did you think I was not going to find out about this? Like you're the goal. Yeah, it was either that you one of us was going to happen? Like, her tweet was like, did you think I was not going to find out about this? Like, you're inviting people. That was the goal. It was either that one of us were going to die, was really what I was hoping for. Yeah, it's like, yeah, clearly I was trying to juggle you, and I fucked, like, it didn't work.

That, like, I saw that was like, how you spit in my mouth, first of all, Mariah Bills, let's fucking chill out for your first date, but the... Like, standard, baby, standard. She's like, I thought your first date. But the... Like, standard, baby. Standard. She's like, I let you spit my smile at you like you were

fucking other girls. He's like, yeah, I didn't think you were going to find out about each other. Clearly. Why didn't you tell me you had a girl's partner?

Because it would have been awkward. Yeah, because I would have been in trouble. Right? I don't want to get in trouble. That's why. Like, I assume you're fucking other guys, too.

Don't tell me. Yeah, don't guys too don't tell me yeah don't ask don't tell like her really all i've seen are like her tweets being quote tweets and stuff like that and everything she says no don't get me wrong she obviously sees popularity i'm sure she's way up to point up charts and she's marketing herself as she probably should expect her to and she probably should but like i'm like what is she even talking about yeah what like i it wasn't like we were married it wasn't no no there's no like official cheating there's no uh consent issues it sounds like uh if one girl is pregnant like i i think you know there's no like i'm not paying child support or anything it's just like i think some people view it as

distasteful i guess i don't know yeah, I think some people view it as distasteful, I guess. I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. I think people look at it like as, you know, Zion's been a little bit of a bust. You know, he's viewed,

he's being viewed as like the next fucking generational talent. He hasn't been that. Now it's like, you're clearly a little reckless with your dick and you get clowned. Who the fuck? Who is wreck? Yeah. Who is wreck?

You were going to say wreckful? I wasn't going to say anything, Kevin. Who is wreck... You were going to say wreckful? I wasn't going to say anything, Kevin. Who's... Who uses their penis in a good way? Responsible? Responsible is a good word. In response to that, smart guy. Do you think we ever would have landed there no it's an sct word for you responsible nba finals tonight seeing a captain morgan's

commercial like drink respond there it is there it is that was the one i i wonder if i i mean do you have enough smarts or do you have enough team people on your team to be like like don't fuck those girls like fuck these kind of girls like a boy you know what i mean because to me it's like you you never know a girl's crazy until she does it yeah you know it's like i thought you were normal and then you aired me out on the internet what what do you want me to do i didn't see that coming if i did i wouldn't have been with her yeah like you know i guess it's like you should have seen some signs or like you you know whatever it's like i guess you know usually people like if they if they they fuck crazy they are crazy it's like i don't know i you know i was rolling dice i was hoping they weren't

you know clearly i was i was trying to talk stupid i not that stupid. It's just like you can do two things. This I feel like is a good time to bring up something that I've been thinking about the other day. Oh, boy. And so I went to a museum and I went to see an artist, Hakusai. And you actually all know him. He is the Great Wave is his major piece of art. It's the wave emoji on the phone. And I was just kind of going through the.

Is he a real artist in addition to emojis, or that's what he does? Oh, yeah, no, he's in, like, the 1800s. They just use that as the emoji. The hand? No, the wave. Like, the wave. There's emoji the hand? no the wave there's a wave wait what? no no no like the ocean

yes okay I've seen that and so I was looking at some of his work and there's one the mansion of the plates is a woman coming out of a well and she's got plates that turn into the mansion of the plates is a woman coming out of a well, and she's got plates that turn into the bottom of her spirit.

And it explains that the... This isn't an interpretation of the art. This is just something next to it. I explained that. And all Japanese are women. Ghosts are almost exclusively women. And then I learned that there's something called a Hanya mask, and it's supposed to resemble a woman who's so overcome with negative energy

that that's what it represents. And then that made me think of, like, banshees, which are women, screaming women, who forebode danger. And I was thinking of all this, staring at this painting. And I was like, look, it's a stereotype and it's a trope and all this stuff. But it's been going on for thousands and thousands of years. Something's up here. Do you know what we call stereotypes that have been going on for thousands of years? We. Something's up here. Do you know what we call stereotypes

that have been going on for thousands of years? We call them facts. Truth, yeah. One plus one plus equals two is the stereotype. Math is just a stereotype. No, it's a fact. I was like, is it going on for this long? I know.

You don't call... Sirens with Odysseus sirens I was hoping for a third example there it is it's never a fucking it's never a man who like

manipulates you through sex and then ruins your life it's always chicks man they're always it's always you guys that's when when people are like Jackie any comment

sorry yeah no you're good it doesn't count like yeah people are like Jackie any comment sorry yeah no you're good like yeah people are how do you not hear what we're saying

we're saying it's a pretty fucking offensive I think we're learning we've learned this for the last couple weeks every time we've

asked them to weigh in on the podcast they just go oh wait we're not listening we're not listening it's not working

we're so loud and shit though like they just the other day we're not listening. We're not listening. We're so loud and shit, though. We're over here like, fucking women suck! Jagged, like, what'd you say? Oh, I didn't even know you guys were talking. But listen, if it walks like a duck,

talks like a duck, walks like a duck. I want to see exactly what the mask is called. It's H-A-N-N-Y-A. Yeah, Hanya. I don't know the pronunciation of it. I was going to say, does that matter? You can spell it and say it. I did not write it down.

Did you look them up or see photos of Hanya masks? I'm just picturing on the wall. What do they look like? Horrifying? Yeah, that's what they look like yeah i'm sure they're hot and you fucked them and then they turn into that yeah i didn't think they were gonna turn into that monster

what do you want me to tell you sorry he's eyeing like sorry he had a twitter account did you see what uh fucking freddie gibbs's girl did to him it's like a month ago she similar thing like um like like a kind of a threatening tweet like you i you know you spit my mouth i let you spit my mouth and she was like for i can't believe like you would talk like that about me publicly when i've got pictures of your asshole. Of Freddie Gibbs' asshole? Oh, that's some rowdy shit.

And then people started calling it his stink star. And they were like, bro, your stink star's out there on the internet. You better be careful what you say. Freddie Gibbs is a rapper. Yeah, that is a hard thing to like shake and you're in the rap world you're supposed to be like tough and cool and shit and then it's like yo your girl's gonna put your asshole on the internet like that i can't think of anything more i'd rather you put out like actual if i had like actual skeletons on my closet like like I was a violent person

or bad, committed crimes. I would rather that than put pictures of me showing my asshole to the camera. Let's pop this on the list here. Juanito was never going to kill me. There's one more. I forget what it was. I made a promise.

I promise. Dear listener, you'll never see my asshole. Not fucking never. You might see my dick one day. There are people who put that out there. You might see my dick. You might see me naked. I don't know. I think the laws have gotten pretty strict on that, but

it's possible. You could see me naked one day. You're not going to see my booty hole. That's a fucking problem bro what was his girl like he was was he just like i'm just picturing him like before you go into jail or like like imagine like a rapper like like oh man bro it's one thing to see an asshole. It's another thing if there's souls with the feet in the shot.

It's equally weird that I can see the back of your knees right now. As opposed to... I mean, that is... Like, yo, you get down like that, and you do... Freddy gives you a freak. You do some freaky shit, freak. You do some freaky shit and then you do some freaky shit on camera. Like, you know, okay.

But like, goddamn, that is tough to know. That is like having the nuclear codes. That girl has her finger on the fucking trigger. Just like, you sure you want to say that? Boom. That is fucking scary, dude. Goddamn, man. A couple more here. I want to admit a man. Then we'll get to voicemails real quick. Goddamn, man. A couple more here.

I want to minum in, then we'll get to voicemails real quick. The new power couple, this was also last week, Bill Murray and Khalees is insanity. That's crazier than the aliens. If you would have told me, yeah, I have an alien in this room right now,

you can talk to him about the spacecrafts, or over here, Bill Murray and Khalees are going to be fucking. I'd be like, well, one of those is ridiculous. That is nuts. uh you can talk to him about the spacecrafts or over here bill murray and calise are gonna be fucking i'd be like well one of those is ridiculous but that is nuts they um and the article said like that like bill murray like saw her in concert and was like taken by her and then um they said that they like shared uh like a trauma bond they said they had like similar bereavement was the article in the post so like i don't know they both had somebody die and like like connected on that and they've been like

smitten kittens with each other and they're like traveling around to each other's business and fucking and they said like they're not like exclusive everyone's still single but they are seeing each other they're not exclusive until she finds out bill murray got someone else pregnant motherfucker let you spit in my mouth we're gonna see bill murray's asshole too seeing each other. They're not exclusive until she finds out Bill Murray got someone else pregnant. What the fuck did I let you spit in my mouth? We're going to see Bill Murray's asshole soon. I mean,

that is like, I can't think of anything. Dude, you know what's funny? Khalees is like, she used to, she married Nas. She was like Jay-Z,

like during like the Jay-Z and Nas beef. I think he like insinuated he fucked Khalees. Oh, I didn't know anything. I just know it was milkshake. Yeah, no,. She has gone at

Beyonce hardcore. What? I thought she was like a Disney channel. No, no, no. She's pretty like gangster, I think. It was Nas and Khalees versus Jay-Z and Beyonce. It was kind of like the couples almost. So she was like, fuck Beyonce. She's like a fraud. And Nas was like, fuck Jay-Z.

And then it gets really dark. I think she accused Nas of being an abusive husband. There's like a fraud. And Nas was like, you know, fuck Jay-Z. So, uh, and then it gets really dark. And I think he, she like accused Nas of like being like an abusive husband. There's all sorts of shit, but like, so all of that. And then she's like fucking Carl Spackler from caddy. What?

My favorite part of it is that, um, or he, I don't know. Is he called Spackler? I don't know. I don't know. Yeah.

Is that, yeah. Um, the like Bill Murray is almost like a tyson zone type guy where like everyone's got a bill murray story he used to come to newport a lot so like people talk to anyone who like did a summer in newport they'll tell you bill murray like came part of their apartment all that shit you hear any bill murray story like i think he always did stuff like like there's a bill murray story like he went up to like fucking someone at a restaurant and just start eating

off their plate. And I was going to believe this. Right. Yeah. I actually think he almost jumped the shark at some point. Yeah. This almost kind of brought me back in where it's like, you're really walking the walk.

There's still, that's what I'm saying. There was one where he just started, like someone was like in an elevator in a hotel in Vegas and he just started wrestling in the elevator. And then the elevator got to the floor and he just walked off. Like, like he, Bill Murray did wild shit. Everyone was like, that's classic Bill Murray.

Then he started dating Khalees and everyone was like, this can't be real. We got to draw a line somewhere. Everyone believed Bill Murray stories for 20 years. That's old Bill. That's got to be cool for him though because

when you reach a point where you can do wild shit and nobody reacts, and you're like, I finally garnered a reaction again. I've got to say the N-word or something. Give me the first of the month lyrics. You think Khalees just rocks his world? He's 73. I think she's 43, which is like 30 years.

A lot. Don't get me wrong, but it's not like she's like 20. She's like a woman. Yeah. It's not as crazy. She was younger too, but like,

it's more the, the culture clash, you know? Yeah. What do you guys talk about? What is not, what is, what is,

what is Bill Murray? Like crazy. So, but I don't know. Good for, good for him. I don't know if it's great for her. I don't think you go home bragging to your girls

like I'm fucking Billy. You do it for the story, but I bet that's a stinky dick. Anytime you can start a story with, you're never going to believe who I fucked. Yeah, that's true. That's true. The Vanderpump Saga continues. I can't closely follow it. I was listening to the legs thatump saga continues. I don't, I can't closely follow it.

I, I, I was, I was listening. Um, the legs that this thing has, I, the reunion was like a month ago.

I was taken aback when it was an episode last week. Yep. I think I just heard someone say there's a new episode this week. Well, they, I think they, they, they were dying and they have this and it's,

and for some reason it's taken, like there's cheating scandals everywhere on every show. I don't understand. This one has. I think that guy is so unlikable. He looks like a villain in a movie. And everyone's kind of hated him for a decade. But without really having a reason.

And now they had their fucking reason. But I'll say this. I'll say this. And it was really shitty cheating. It was like his wife or his wife partner. They're not formally married, I don't think. But it was like really shitty cheating. It was like his wife or like his basically like wife partner. Like they're not formally married. I don't think, but like live together for like 10 years.

And this girl that fucked him was like down and out. And his wife like took her in and was like, you can stay with us and I'll like help you. And while I was happening, fuck. So like some really sorted details. But if I'm not mistaken, those two originally got together cheating yeah she his wife fucked him

when he was in a relationship so it's like all you guys are at this hollywood fucking restaurant looking for clout and looking for sex sir is like where the the lisa vanderpump owns this restaurant called sir and they were all bartenders and waitresses that was the show that was the premise like oh we all work together and we all fuck each other it is but they but it's you know they work at the restaurant in real life and then they did well not anymore you know like but in the beginning they were all like waitresses bar backs hostesses and they were fucking how long was that for uh bro if i was on a reality show and it's just me at work, I'd be furious. I think that would be like one season.

No, no, no. I'm on season five. They're still working there. I think they would go to the restaurant and like – Imagine that. You're like cleaning up tables. I'm on a TV show. They're like, motherfucker, go bust table seven. Are you kidding me?

I got a vodka. This is nuts. That is a good point because they did need to keep up up the, I think, like the appearance of like this is. Well, you know what they did? The episodes of my podcast. This is crazy. The original thing was it was a restaurant that the housewives used to go to. The real housewives of Orange County.

Lisa Vanderpump's one of the housewives. And one of the housewives and she and one of the episodes like it was like wizard of oz like it like they just like you were watching the housewives and then all of a sudden it just shifted to like the waitresses and the bartenders became the focus of the episode that's kind of cool and yeah like chrissy teigen when all this shit popped off chrissy teigen had a tweet that was like the real ones remember when we were watching the season finale of real housewives of orange county and we all said what the fuck is going on right now and then a whole new world like opened up to us like yeah it was like they like they kind of trojan horse this whole show but it was like in the dumps and now they had their thing

and they're squeezing it all out but everyone is so appalled but i'm like you can't you did the fucking same shit yeah so you know it's like i don't know the only thing i did think was funny was that they had that one girl 100 yards away because of the restraining order during the during the oh i knew someone was in a trailer she was in a trailer that's fucking gangster like she was just sitting there like reacting like like she was supposed to be there, but she couldn't. Yeah, dude, I saw all that. I didn't know why she was in the trailer. We are talking about, like, who's the biggest asshole of the assholes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, it's like, so, really. But, I don't know. Are we going to talk about this forever? The trailer. We've got aliens to talk about, people. Stop talking about Sandoval. The trailer, too, was funny because they did have her. They brought her on

at one point, but they had to have Sheena leave because she was the one being sued. Although, in the middle of it, it says that she's dropping the restraining order. So it's like... That would be funny. The glass breaks and she can come 100 yards within you. The restraining order ends at midnight. She comes in her own.

We had one of those girls on the show. Do you remember? No. We had... I think maybe at midnight she comes in but yeah we had one of those on the show you remember no we had um i think maybe kristin or kirsten doubt kirsten rings a bell did like you have a crush on her a trend had a crush on her what did you say you had kristin dodie on i think so yeah yeah so she's the one that tom sandoval was dating and then cheated on to go to. Even like, like I'm, I'm someone who obviously is disconnected from this and I have seen the clips.

The two clips I saw from like last week, I, I just, I can't understand the appeal of like, I saw the clip of the girl being like, I think Dave tweeted the video of like, this is the girl who did the cheating, not got cheated on.

And it's, it's the, it's the most fake crying you'll ever see in the history of your life. Like, I can't like, how could I, I can't watch that. Both of the,

both the people that were like the center of the scandal, like were notoriously fake crying. But like, so like, how do you watch that? Well, it was everyone else calling them out and being like, like we're notoriously fake crime. But like, so like, how do you watch that? Well, it was everyone else calling them out and being like, fuck you.

This is fake bullshit. But I mean, like I would just go, this is fake. I changed it. It was, it was so offensively fake. Well,

it would almost be like if you were fighting with the significant other and they started doing that, you'd be like, what do you do? Why are you fake crime? Like it would take you out of the argument. I'm like, why are you fake crime right now? take you out of the argument i'm like why are you fake crying right now i mean they're all of it i think is fake and phony that

but it's so like but you know it's all all those realizations are fake but this is so clearly fake that it takes you out of the fact that you're even allowing yourself to be immersed in this fake world it's like it's just oh this is just fake yeah well i mean i i guess if you to them it's like wrestling it's like it's real to me but a bad wrestler would take you out of yeah right right oh this is this guy sucks well i will say that the the the the reunion shit i saw those people fucking like hate each. I don't know if maybe they're at the end of the day, they're all like, we're making money, so

fuck it. We're not really sad. But they seem to spit venom at each other. That I'm like, if you guys are... Even that, I saw the how dare he say that. I saw the clip of Sandoval saying like, yeah, we fucked with a shirt on. I was like, why is that so? What I thought was real was

like he tried to apologize and like muster up some fake tears and right away some guy was like this is fucking bullshit and i was like that's how i would react like i wouldn't be like okay i'm gonna wait for my turn i'd be like god this is fucking crazy right like so some of that but yeah i mean i don't know these people are all fucking uh i say, going back and re-watching it from the beginning right now, it is some of the most entertaining reality TV. Back in the day, they were letting it fly, and I think a lot of the people on that I heard have been canceled since, so I'm excited to get to that point.

You know what it was, too? Stassi was on that show. She's this blonde chick who was like... She, at her peak, was one of the biggest villains in reality TV ever. She's prime reality TV. She said something like... She has a quote about the devil that says something like

the devil wakes up and is afraid of me or something like that. It was like, what the fuck? But now she's like a family woman and removed herself from that. But when she was in her shit, she's like a family woman and like is like removed herself from that. But when she was in her, in her shit, she was like fucking hardcore.

I'm trying to find out. It might, maybe was Sheena. What's her name? Sheena. She has a better station. The Shaw. I thought it makes sense.

And I was about to say, I was about to say, Sheena Shaw was on KC radio. And I was like um but i can't find like i know we had someone on the show bro i saw an interview with sheena shaw once where it was like what like a pre-porn interview and she was just like wait sorry in searching for this i found a headline you wrote about a blog for one of our episodes kfc doesn't think that gay dudes culturally culturally appropriated gayness from the greeks because kfc is dumb but yeah no wait sheena marie wait did you guys have oh no

that's who's sheena marie sheena marie might be sheena her Her last name's changed a few times. Okay, I think that was it. I stand by that take strong. But I didn't think that. The Greeks invented putting your dick in the man butt, not the gays. That's not even up for debate. That was just a fucking tough-ass Greek dude. I bet you say that lie in here.

Being gay wasn't being gay back in the day. It was being a man. Back before Jesus came down and started telling everyone that being gay was a super no, gay sex was just dude stuff. It was called a wrestling match. In fact, having intercourse with women was considered to be pussy shit. That's where the slanderous term you're a fucking pussy was invented. In ancient Greece, you bang vaginas, you're a fucking pussy. You're not a man.

You're a pussy fucker. Milo of Croton famously said that in 708 bc again i'm not offering opinions on this blog i'm just stating facts luckily i was there to point that out to kevin he's still under the wrong impression that those guys were gay but that his journey but that's his journey to acceptance that he has to embark on i can only give him the direct gay guy stole being gay from the Greeks. They used to bang dudes back when men were men. Oh, man.

We were so funny back then. That is such a funny fucking blog. It is so funny. There was a little precursor to the whole thing. It said, Kevin's a pretty smart guy, but like all smart men, they have a weak spot, a mental vulnerability where they just don't know what the hell they're talking about. Kevin's is gayness. Luckily for him, I've got a pretty good grasp on the matter, as my place on the Kinsey scale is as fluid as the weather. A light breeze and a nice pair of slacks could send me spiraling at any moment that was in the year the year of our lord 2017 that was actually

not even that long ago but fuck i mean i guess that is kind of long ago now but um shit that is funny sheena shea it's gotta be her but how funny no that's her that's had i known you know vanderpump would i don't know i wish maybe maybe we could find maybe we have some good quotes from her who knows but if she was like i think that guy tom's fucking that other okay um oh last thing there's this video going viral of this guy just doing a day in the life of him just he wakes up he goes to work he goes to the gym he he hangs out and it's got like a hundred million views on twitter and a lot of people are like this is so sad this life is so bleak a lot of people are like i this life looks great and i wish i had it i i kind of i mean it's it's apparently this is this guy's thing he just does

regular ass videos on tiktok um this is um there needs to be more of this like again when you graduate college this should be like your final your final final at college should be this video and be like brace yourself this is it yeah like this is what you're gonna do probably for the next at least like 10 years if you're lucky you know and then you know one percent of you will find something cool and go on to do something different than this another one percent of you will like become like you know crack addicted assholes and die and then the other 98 are just gonna do this and buckle the fuck up some days this sucks this sucks, and some days it's great. Yeah, like right now he's playing with his dog.

It looks awesome. He goes to the gym and eats leftover Jersey Mike's. Not that great. You know what this guy has? You know how so many people do this, and this is actually all they do? This guy also has a passion and seems to be a bit of a knack for being creative and editing. So he has the hobby. Most people be a bit of a knack for being creative and editing so he has the hobby most of you don't even have a hobby right right he's got a pretty strong hobby and i think the

thing with this pass can you pop the music on for real quick the uh uh This is a pretty good video. Right, but it's a great video. Put the camera in the fridge. The ASMR. That's terrible. Poor. Terrible. You learn...

I think it was the... Someone, like, film class, they made them watch like... just pause it for a second. The, whatever, some space movie, Space Odyssey 5000, 3000, whatever it's called. Space Odyssey 2001? 2001. And made them, made a film class watch it with no sound.

No score. And you see what music adds to the thing. Like. Oh, yeah, that music you no sound. No score. And you see what music adds to the thing. Oh yeah, that music you're talking about? Yeah. And the sounds and all that? Pat, restart it for me. No music though. What are you going to play, you asshole?

Ha ha ha ha! Open that Dell computer, baby. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey! Okay. Look at my dog. That's my dog. Uh-huh.

We in the building. We're in the motherfucking building. Let's go. Lunch snack. Uh-huh. Jersey Mike's. That's so fucking true, man. It's so good.

Fucking, what is this guy's name? Harsh is in the building. It's, look at him, he's at the gym. He's at the gym. I mean, perfect. Look at the dog dancing I'm not with different crews look at him grabbing a fucking drink hell yeah

good crack yo life is great. This guy's a fucking baller. His life is incredible. Tell the friends that it's time to go. Perfect. The exact amount of a drink verse. 20 almost perfectly synced to that. Remake that right now for TikTok.

That is such a great point man any you just change the the the fucking scope yeah of the lens of it all put the music behind it i mean that's like um they've been doing that for years on the internet where they like remake uh like they make a children's movie look like a horror movie by the way that it's cut yeah yeah you can do that with anything they made the shining look like a fucking happy it's kind of like a perfect book and it's you can do the opening scene of the whale with with fucking comedy hysterically i mean that's anything with depression and comedy just like it's just the way you tell it and that could be really sad you know or it could be really funny you you've you've said that a few times recently i think that's your like

your manifesto but uh that like because when nate wouldn't tell the burrito story and you shut up and you're like funny stories are depressing stories it's just all in how you tell them and i think that is a pretty novel thought to be honest i don't think I've really ever heard that articulated. So like, obviously, but that might be your, your legacy. Depression's funny. It's fucking hilarious. Like life's hardships are awesome because they're good stories.

That, that my friends is, that's how you make that life. That video becomes cool with that song that that's your life it becomes cool when you just make it cool yeah that's what i used to originally i was like my job sucks but my life out of work was awesome that was when i was my happiest it wasn't anything crazy but it was like i went out like every night happy hour and and dates and hanging out with my friends like and i was like this is i'm making sure that all the money I make,

I spend and I'm happy because this shit sucks, but I'm going to make my life outside of it. Awesome. And that's how you got to fucking live life. I also feel like it's like the, that's like a lot of girls have the same day in life, but they're just like lighting candles, like in between,

like there's just more like aesthetic stuff, but it's like, just like less candles. Throw candles, bro. Guys are just chicks with no candles. That's the only difference.

That's the only fucking difference. All right, voicemails, and then we got the roast. This is going to be a long fucking episode. Yeah, dude, I mean, we did our classic thing, walking down after the meeting.

Just be a quick one. We can just knock one out. We'll do three things, quick one minute, man. Two hours. Voicemails are brought to you by Pirate Water. Pavs and Jackie just went to the governor's ball this weekend they were raging with all the pirates all the swashbucklers

uh it is the drink of the summer for partiers and ragers it comes in bahama mama it comes in miami vice it comes in margarita it comes in my miami vice margarita sex on the beach i always forget sex on the Beach. I don't know why. It's probably because I don't have much of it. I do like drinking it, though. It is just the ultimate start to your weekend. I've said before, it is for partiers.

It's for ragers. It's for fucking everybody. I got a buddy who just drinks them. He's got two kids and a wife. He drinks one in the shower, drinks one at dinner. He says that's how he spends his night every night. Go to drinkpiratewater.com. pirate water at a location near you or you could order it on go puff you've seen burt kreischer drink it you've seen whitney cummings drink it i forget

who else we've had our jay farrell's come on and been like what the hell is this this is delicious it is awesome drinkpiratewater.com find a location location near you. What's up, guys, gals, Jackie? Got a question for you guys. So last week, I went golfing, put on my headphones, my Beats, and when I was leaving, took the case, put it in my pocket, and then somehow ended up losing it on the mile-long drive. So I had one headphone in my ear and the other ones in the case that were in my pocket that somehow just disappeared into the darkness i have no idea where they went but now i'm just left with just one beat which is the most

inconvenient thing ever because you can't even charge it and i've had to go back to these absolute trash headphones recently that don't fit my ear. I don't know how people actually use these. But my question is, what is something that once you've upgraded to, you can't live without? That's a great question, but it's a stupid example. Oh, I don't know if I would say it's a stupid example. I won't say it's a great example. But in my, like when I get into, when I get into my apartment i have like a bowl of shit

um and in that bowl i have one bow's headphone two left airpods and one beat that's very funny dude those the airpods and i mean that the royal airpods whatever you know that wireless i actually might have two bows headphones but i lost the case so i can't charge the wireless earbud thing is the is a very good example of more technology is not always better it's i i mean people say to me like you you're so poor with your head with your wires like yes okay they do get tangled sometimes the alternative to that is constantly losing them constantly having them dead even even the way they they sit in your ear when you have wires for whatever reason holds them in better when i put the regular ones in they're falling out of

my ears the whole time to me they're just not better i will always i would always rather have and i and i guess you can just talk with those ones in and the microphone's good enough but i need the little fucking thing hanging hanging there and i'll even hold that closer even though you don't have to um i i'm wires wire headphones like probably till i'm dead like like i'll do it for like four as long as i can still plug them in as long as the iphone doesn't eventually they'll just, they won't even let you plug them in. But if it's there, I could be 90 and I'll still be fucking rocking the wires.

So fuck that. It's actually a cool thing. I believe. Yeah. It's kind of come back around. Like, I think it's almost like, uh,

like if you were to, uh, if you were to like draw a picture of me one day, you're like, yo, we got to make sure we got the wires in. Cause he's always got the wire headphones. You know what I mean?

But the question of what can't you go back to, this is too broad, but I just really always want to make sure people appreciate air conditioning. Like we, it's not even a good answer because it's like, it's like answering water. Like once I discovered oxygen and water, I can't go back. Air conditioning is like an inalienable right that we all deserve to have.

But it's like there was a time, and not too long ago, really, when you think about it, that, you know, certain places, you might have a window unit in your house here and there, but certain businesses might not have it, and certain places you go, you stay at a friend unit in your house here and there, but certain businesses might not have it. And certain places you go, you stay at a friend's house, whatever. They don't have it. Like,

yeah, Europe. Yeah. Taxi drivers, cab drivers. I can't, cannot live, cannot live without it.

I wouldn't even, I would not entertain going anywhere. Like if I found out you could book me a beautiful European trip and you're like, yeah, but it's going to be hot at night. I'm'm not going i'm not going i'm glad you brought us up because you are looking at did you get a recognition i was about to say wait a minute as i say this i sit a man sits before me living air conditioner list you got an air conditioner yesterday a unit or like you got the thing fixed or something uh no i just bought a new one are we doing uh uh uh one with the tube yeah

upright yep okay it's still ridiculous and poor but okay i got bars on my window i can't oh right you can't do it okay yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah so so you broke you because it's actually been cool it's it's it was you get to like 75 at night, you're done. Because guess what? Now I have to buy a comforter. I don't have a comforter. Because you've just been fucking laying. It's just too, in the winter, it gets too hot. The unintended consequences of having blankets.

I'm freezing. I got two blankets off my couch last night. John, wake up. John's dead. He froze himself. He had fucking blankets in his little waltz. Dude, I went to Home Depot yesterday. And I just...

I'm such a pussy that I wouldn't even... I wouldn't ask someone a question. So I just stood there on my phone waiting for someone in an orange apron to come up to me. And they didn't. So I left. But also, it didn't look like they had what I needed anyway. They only had two sizes. It's on 23rd.

Two sizes, and they were both from medium rooms, and I don't think my bedroom's a medium. I think it's big. And so I was like, I don't think it's going to work anyway. So I went across the street to PC Richards and Sons, which plays on a loop. Oh, yeah. Hell, yeah.

And, I mean, this guy was talking to me like I was. Like you're buying a vintage car or something? He's like, no, these things are going to say. 10, yeah. And, I mean, this guy was talking to me like I was. Like you're buying a vintage car or something? He's like, no, these things, he's going to say. 10,000 BTUs. He's going to say 12,000 BTUs. He's going to want to knock two off that because they're fucking bullshit. He's like, bro. He's like, you know what size is your bed?

And you can walk around it. And you got bureaus because I don't know the outlay. Yeah. And I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Right? And we're talking like fucking two guys. Like men, you know. And I was like, because I had the other one right? And we're talking like fucking two guys. Like men, you know. And I was like, because I had the other one that I plugged in

and it just didn't work. And I was like, I didn't know how to set it up. And I was like, but just to be clear, all I care about here, this is just plug in and press power. And he's like, yup, that's it. I was like, I just, that's it. Plug in, press it. And he's like, yup.

And I was like, he goes, ah, actually, you know what? You are going to need a screwdriver. And I go, do you sell screwdrivers here? And he's like, no, just any screwdriver. Like, you know, the one you have in your house. I was like, do you sell them here, though? And he's like, a screwdriver is fine. I know what you're saying.

I can't be more clear with this guy, like a screwdriver. He's probably thinking you mean drill. No, no, no. I know the device you speak of. I don't have them, and I haven't for many years. I'm just moving. I don't know where it is. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I've been moving them for three years. I'm just getting out of the box. I just want to make sure I can sleep tonight before I get to unpacking them all. Protecting. I think I'm on year four. I know. A screwdriver. I need to acquire one from you. It's fucking hilarious.

I'll find it. I'll find it. It went back across to Home Depot. Some other good answers Depot. But yeah. Other good answers. Air conditioning. I would say. Remote control.

Well, yeah. Yeah. Like the five things to me are like microwave, air conditioned, remote control, internet. And there's like another. I think like I said, elevators or something like that. Like you can't go. Big boy. Yeah. and there's like another i think like i said uh elevators or something like that like yeah um i i would think um it would be tough to go back to regular regular ass tv now yeah just like you got to flip through the channels and find something that you like that's pretty we're pretty spoiled in that now yeah where it used to just be like

like the phrase nothing's on tv is not a thing anymore you said that all the time yeah nothing's on tv out of all the channels like oh i don't like the movies that are being aired right now in the same time it's almost harder to find yeah in a weird way you can still say in fact when i can't find something i don't have any shows right now. Or like, do you have any shows for me? But you're not like, there's nothing on. When I can't find something to watch, I just put it on the spectrum. Do you? So you have cable?

I actually don't have cable. In this new house, I used to... This is how stupid... You ever look back on something that's something you were so steadfast about and like it's so dumb i remember being like i cannot have the like 10 to 40 second delay on sports like i can't have that yeah like i'll be hot i'll be behind on my tweets

and now and then i like 15 seconds yeah 15 seconds in the whole world that's the amount of people that it takes your time to look at your phone and find the tweet. Like, you know what I mean? I went through that. I cannot have that. What? You fucking narcissistic asshole. Because of the Bruins.

So I would have to watch on the NHL app. The world's going to know 15 seconds ahead of me. People are going to yell at me that I'm not watching in time. And now I'm just like crazy. ever gave a shit totally now that i've even gotten off twitter like entirely when it comes to sports i'm like oh it doesn't matter if i like saw it in real time at all it doesn't matter if i you know what i mean like i i don't even you don't need my opinion every second let alone every literal second you know what i mean it's no one's gonna see this anyway the one you yeah i might as well just text my mom um i'm trying to think of any one like there's iphone i actually i find this to be the opposite i you're finding a lot of things

most of the things you think you can't live without it's actually you can live without yeah it's it's like uh you just have to like muster up the the courage if you will to do it yeah or you're like yeah just oh i can't live without texting i bet you can would you would you say like i know you're heavy like pay with your phone and stuff would you do you care like i don't know if you had to go back to your car or something like that carrying around like that with that that's a great one yeah because i forgot my wallet today and i was like fuck and i was like i called nick and i was like can we check can i check into that interview without my id and he said yes and then i was like okay wait i don't i don't need it for anything yeah never mind we're good but if it was taken away i would have no

problem going back to my wallet because i'm still like i would say like 90 10 i still use my card but for you it might be it annoys me particularly it's a very i think it's a city thing it's pretty urban that you can use your phone use the phone but like when i go home my parents and i'm like it's just like this is gonna take you know what you know what does not take i went to the other day i i was driving around after I fell in the well. I went to a Home Depot. I went to two, potentially three. No, I went to two Home Depots and the Lowe's. None of them let me pay with my phone.

And then I was like, and all I had to do was go home and get my wallet because I had dropped the kids off at school. Didn't think I need my wallet. Realized I was going to run errands afterwards. Anyway, and then I was like okay uh i i just refused to go back home and then make two trips so i was like okay i'll go to the bank and just take out cash from the atm with my phone and i and i found like the one chase bank that wouldn't let me do it so i struck out four fucking times i was out for like an hour and a half trying to get the phone to work and i couldn't.

And you would have thought – I was like, we're living in the fucking Middle East. This is crazy. We're living in the Stone Age here. Just get your fucking wallet, you dumb asshole. All right, next up. Is this Fun Fact Girl? Yep. Let's go.

Hi, friends. I'm back. I heeded your word. I waited. I get it. I'm obnoxious. No, not at all. I understand. Anyways, etymological fun fact for y'all today actually this is a double duty fun fact first off the etymology point the term cracker originated by the sound of cattlemen and cowboys from the state of florida

cracking bull whips while they were rustling up cattle that had been left behind by the Spanish. I've heard it. The cows that are here are not native to this area. They were brought over by Spanish conquistadors, which is a fun word to say. So, yeah, I do want to push the point that they were cracking whips for cattle, for cows. So, yeah, it would make a cracking sound when they would, you know, the whole Indiana Jones thing. Anyways, and then the second part is cowboys originated in the state of Florida.

So yeah, there you go. I wouldn't have guessed that. I would not have guessed that one. I have heard the cracker from the whips of slave owners. I don't know if that's true, but I've heard that said before.

Pretty fucked up. I used to think it was because we look like saltine crackers um but i heard like dry i thought it was like dry white boring crackers yeah that's what we are that actually is more apropos than the actual you know what i mean right you guys are just like saltines your music your style your food yeah you're just i wouldn't order you you to a restaurant, but if it came... If it came next to my soup, I would crush you up and put it in it, I guess. I don't know. While I talked earlier

about going to the museum and the Hakusai exhibit, I learned there, through his paintings, that Japanese women back in the day, once you were married and with child, I believe.

Your eyebrows were shaved off your head and then when you went in public, you had to paint your teeth black. Like, no one's fucking you. You've got shit to do with the house. Paint your teeth black. Yeah, I think this is like the 1800s in Japan.

That's so funny though because like I don't know, maybe it's just like a cultural, I don't know. It's like, you find me a chick who has like a fat ass and a dope body and you paint your teeth black and you have no eyebrows, I don't give a fuck. You fucking just described a woman like Kanye West

is going to be married to by the year's end. I hate those two by the way. That last picture of them where she was in like a weird lady gaga like bubble and he was in like shoulder pads and like like spandex i was like what the fuck is going on this is your king uh but yeah like you find me a really hot chick and her teeth are black because they're painted and she's like yeah i also lost my eyebrows i'm like i don't even have eyebrows myself by the way i'm thinking about for content dyeing my eyebrows or whatever they do yeah i think that would be funny because for me for me yeah i think in person it looks okay i think yeah pictures i got no eyebrows really i mean if there's a little bit of sunlight and i take a picture especially if i've had a little bit of sun,

no eyebrows. I look like Charlie Villanueva, bro. And every, I mean, every, every comment. Where's your eyebrows? Where'd your eyebrows go? Where'd your eyebrows go? So I think it would be funny if, what do they, they, they like brush it or something?

Like they brush it and dye? You, you. Or is it like makeup? Is that bladed? Is it dyed? I got the same issue. Just mustache. Dye. You like kind of trim on. Just get that. Put it dyed? I got the same issue. Just mustache dye that you kind of trim on.

You just get that, put it over. You have the eyebrow thing? Really bad. You have dark Italian. No, it gets crazy. In the summer? Yeah. Mine are like nothing.

That was the most Italian thing Pat has ever said. I got to say proud. A little dye job. A little bear. There you go. Good to go. I got go so so you do that like one time and it lasts for a long time or it's like a permanent thing no i'm talking about the opposite i'm talking about making like dark it's like um a uh very nice pretty much like it won't last forever but it lasts for like weeks or like it's's like days. I don't actually know.

That's past. Also, and you just match it to like you pick out like a color like on the wall or like dark, dark, a little bit less dark, a little bit.

Because I don't even know what color I would pick but that would be funny. I'm freaking out with color. Yeah, I think that'll be funny to have. Like KFC gets eyebrows for the summer.

Last voicemail, what do we got? What's up gentlemen and everybody else? Quick aside before I get to my question. I live in Colorado now, so I did go to the

Denver show last year. It was awesome. Super fun time. Oh, yeah. I brought my Polaroid because I had this idea that I was going to get a picture with Kevin

in fights afterwards, a Polaroid. Got in line and approximately four minutes later, I remembered, I don't want to wait in lines. I don't want to wait in lines for anything. I don't want to wait in line for the elevator. That's true.

I'm not going to stand in line for an hour with a bunch of goons just to tell you two how cool you are. So got out of that line real quick. But then I did run into Jackie and Pabst. Got a sweet Polaroid with those guys. Oh, cool. And it was great. Good times.

Anyways, here's the question. So, Fights, I agree. Games are too short. The MLB overcorrected. I just got back to Colorado today from L.A. I went to go see the Red Sox play the Angels. The game was two hours and five minutes. I flew cross country for the game, two hours, five minutes. Well, that's awesome. The next night, the game was two hours and five minutes i flew cross country for the game two

hours five minutes well that's also the next night the game was even shorter um so this girl wants to have sex with caravans what are the new rules that you like what do you think can go away um i think batter's clock is redundant we don't need it uh Pitch clock solves the problem. No one's going to be stepping out of the box doing no more level hand jives with the batters or with the pitch clock going. Truly egregious is the man on second for extra innings. We're putting a man in scoring position for extra innings. This is not Little League. Listen, girl, I'm all for anything ending the fucking extra innings as fast as we can I like the question though what do you think are

new, forget about just sports new rules that we have in place that you're like I don't know about that hmm like is there well this actually this is we had on the bracket

last week we did fucking citizenship fouls. Fails. Fouls. Which one? Fouls. Fouls. Like things that you should revoke citizenship for and all kinds of stuff.

Is there a specific one? One was – one that people got upset with. One was – I forget what it was. We were just talking about driving as a whole. I don't use my blinker at four-way stops in the suburbs. I just don't. When I'm driving recklessly on the highway, I don't either.

I don't fucking ever. I was like, you should never be so on my ass that where I'm going matters. That's on you, bro. I might hit you from behind. Fucking wait two seconds. The only time I need it is when I'm merging in traffic almost, and I'm letting you know I got to get over it.

Yeah, when I'm cutting you. Yeah, when I'm being an asshole. But another one we talked about a lot was tipping. The over-tipping culture we've gone through? Yeah, and it's a whisper. It had been a whisper where it's like, is getting a little fucking ridiculous now it's a roar it's a it's a i mean it's it's we're there it's up we're there it's up there but uh i i think this tweet actually went fairly viral um because it's just you can't be true so the new york posted an article last

night it's got two million views so I think that's pretty close to viral. Here's why Americans are getting tired of tipping. I read the article and I quote to it, this number can't be real. 65% of sit-down

diners always tip. That can't be true. Meaning it's too high or too low? Way too low. I agree. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would have said it's like almost, you know, 90. Like there are 35% of people who don't tip at all.

It says they will always tip. So I'm guessing maybe it was a misleading question where it was like, if they smack you in the fucking mouth, will you tip? And you're like, no. Right, right, right. That doesn't count as always. Right, yeah. Because like, I mean, I would think i i don't know anybody i've never met someone who does i've dined with people of

old young all races all everything the whole country i travel like i i've dined all over the place i've never seen someone be like i'm not and and i think i'm trying to think of if i've ever encountered it i can't think of it specifically but i feel like it's probably happened and it was like egregiously bad service or something it was never just like a i didn't like the food and you took a little long so i'm not tipping it was like you like you know spit on my girlfriend's face or something like i you know i had to that's crazy i'm i will publicly bitch about tipping in the moment. I will tip every time. The tipping is not service-based to me. I'll always tip that.

It's the, like, when I swipe my card at CVS and it's like tip 20% or something. What the fuck is this about? I told this story. I went to, it was when I went to go see Blackberry. I was at, I would grab some soft serve ice cream beforehand. I was was like killing time in like a plaza in mass in hang a mass, which I told you it was like, because I drove all the way up. Yeah.

And it was like, it was like, this fucking sucks. Oh yeah. Keep forgetting to watch it. Oh yeah. And, uh,

watch tonight. It's really good. Um, but so I go and, uh, I could not possibly have done this more alone. Like I walk into the self serviceservice i get my cup you do that whole night alone right but i filled it up with ice cream myself oh and then you saw the tip i did

all the scoops myself i weighed it myself and then and then they fucking paid it and and the options were 25 30 32 or something like that maybe 25 28 that's the other thing the percentage thing it's like like i came from a world of a cab driver got like two dollars because i drove like eight bucks seven bucks ten bucks now that's become a percentage thing where you know if you take a decent trip all of a sudden it's like a ten dollar tip yeah what the fuck and same thing with like bar tabs like if you pay like at the end of the night i do 20 but like if i just get rounds it's always like you keep two dollars you keep three dollars you keep a dollar or whatever however the math like works out but everybody all of a sudden just became 20 25 percent or it's like wait what your boss should pay you yeah right and actually sometimes the

other way too where it's like you know 25 20 of this is like 72 cents because it's like i'm getting one thing delivered or whatever i'm like well now you're kind of fucking yourself yeah because i probably would have like left you 100 tip because you know i don't want to be too low but it's just that and this the um charities do you want to round up for like jude saint jude's i'm like that this is a scam this is absolutely not going to some fucking children's hospital that went viral on tiktok it's not that they're donating what you gave them it's that they're already going to donate that money and you're rounding up takes away from what they have to pay fuck that yeah so yeah so fuck them i never i never clicked i never did that yeah that's crazy i didn't know that yeah um

but yeah i i would say the the rules have to go with the tipping. Yeah. Tipping is insane. It's a good one. I've always heard and been told, you don't tip in Europe, you don't tip in Europe, you don't tip in Europe. Yeah. And I've always been like, that's fucked up.

You're just scumbags. Tip them, right? And I was taking a bike tour and we gave the guy like 20 euros or whatever afterwards. And he was like like this is very nice very much appreciative generous yadda yadda yadda he's like

but don't he's like never feel like you have to and I've heard all this before but he said it in a way where I was like oh

because he just goes if you have a job here you can afford to live and I was like do we don't need I was like I've never must be nice I've heard living wage said so many times? I was like, I've never, it's like, must be nice.

I've heard living wage said so many times and that's kind of just white noise to me. Which is like, if you are employed, you can live. You're all set.

And I was like, oh, I guess that's a pretty cool thing. It is wild. Like, I don't know. I honestly, sometimes even with the guys here,

I'm like, I don't know how you do it in New York City. It's fucking nuts. It's fucking crazy. But, we have air conditioning. Alright, Joe DeRosa on KFC Radio.

Let's talk to him. Wait, by the way, before we leave the cameras rolling real quick, we just might not go in, but I just scrolled my Twitter. I forgot. I wanted to show you the White Sox Dave thing. Oh, yeah. I can't believe you haven't seen this. No, I didn't.

It is. So this is like me and Dana are just dancing on the other side of this. Have you ever seen Handy Go More? Yeah. You know that scene where the caddy comes up to him and he's like, just don't let me say anything stupid. Okay, we'll do it. All right, we're live.

Dozen Championship Night Intermission Show number two is the championship. That is very fucking funny. That is very good. Wait, hold on. While we're on that, eating ten apples in a row? Oh, yeah, wait a minute. Yeah, we have to. Wait, wait, wait While we're on that, eating 10 apples in a row? Oh, yeah. Wait a minute.

Yeah. We have to. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Okay. Brother. Sorry, Jack. I had a conversation with our buddy, our friend, Carly Aquilino. She commented on something funny on your post.

She said, I worry about you endlessly. Yeah. on funny on your post like she said i worry about you endlessly yeah so i just i sent her a screenshot of that because right underneath mine under her comment was my comment where i said that's too many apples and i just said the man ate a bag of apples and she said kevin i say this with peace and love after the slop bucket i really started worrying but but eating a bag of apples is he a horse and then she said i want to be a chaperone 24 7 but but like first of all just her knowing like it's so funny that she's like keeping an eye on the show and just that she knows about your slap slot bucket and to be like like that girl was like at home like oh john it's a slot bucket like and then a few weeks later, she's like, I'm back about.

Is he a horse? Out of all of your food habits, and I'll call them accomplishments. Some might call them low points. I'll call them high points. The sleep eating, the what do you call the chicken?

The chicken hand or the fist of chicken or whatever? Palm of chicken. Palm of chicken. All of it. 10 apple cores just lined up in front of you like heads on a spike. Like you were almost trying to scare off other apples. And also the bag, like a bag of apples is crazy.

That might be your craziest. I did people were people like, like watching you, like running through them, like throwing cores down and grabbing another one. The best was like, this was like, I didn't, I obviously like made it content a bit because I posted it, but like, this was just like an internal thing. Like it was like, i was up in a balcony what does that wait what the fuck does that mean the man ate a bag of 10 apples and he goes it was just an internal thing why the fuck he was doing the intermission shows not talking about it like

i like everyone else up there with me like didn't know what happened like it wasn't like guys i'm gonna crunch all these apples it was just, so we were in the green room and there were a bunch of pizzas and bowls of candy and all kinds of stuff. And it was just funny to see this bag of apples sitting there untouched. Were they red or green? Red. And I was like, this is fucking ridiculous.

It's funny that they got the apples and they thought someone would touch them. It's funny watching them sit here in this graveyard of of carbs yeah and sugar that like they're just they're just there like a fucking oasis and i was like i'm just gonna take them just gonna eat them all and and so i go up to the to my uh fucking we had like like where the halftime show was shot and we watched the whole little balcony tournament yeah like a little overhang yeah show was shot and we watched the whole – Little balcony or some shit. Little trivia tournament. Yeah, like a little overhang at the theater. And I just sat down and started eating apples.

How long did it take you to eat 10 apples? I did – well, I suck at math, obviously. So I was like if I eat two per show, I'm all good. About halfway through, I realized there were three shows. That's six. That's not 10. Yeah. So you had to start eating faster.

So I had to whack four. So I realized that I was on pace. I realized after the second show I was on pace to eat six. That's not ten. Yeah. So I had to whack four. So I realized that I was on pace. I realized after the second show I was on pace to eat six. And I was like, uh-oh. So I had to whack two real quick. And then I had to whack four in the finals. Yeah. And at that point it started.

During the finals I was going pretty good click. And people are not hearing just like. Not until Roan came upstairs because he was in it. And you're leaving them all out. Or was that just for the picture? No, they weren't as neatly lined up, but they were in front of me. And Roan came upstairs after they got eliminated. And it was the first thing he noticed

and he was like he's like what the fuck is this? I was like I was like I'm just eating a bunch of apples I mean it is what it looks like buddy I'm eating a bunch of apples

I don't know what he's going to tell you here and then why don't you take a guess Adam? I don't know it's a man eating a bunch of apples and then like he was like he you take a guess, Adam? I don't know. It's a man eating a bunch of apples. And then like, he was like, he started taking like pictures and videos of me.

And, and then like five minutes later, Dana looked over, he goes, what the fuck? Like, like no one noticed. That was like seven or eight apples deep. And then, did it like affect you? And then Chief was like, what the hell's going on?

He had like a phone up like that. And it was just like, what the hell is going on? He had a phone up like that. And it was just like, I just thought it was funny, and I just did it. I mean, it is. It's amazing. Did your stomach hurt afterwards? No, I was very full. A lot of people were like, oh, he's going to shit himself. I don't know.

Do apples do that to you? I don't know. No one's ever had more than one apple in their lifetime. I don't think anybody has ever had like two apples i i genuinely don't think in my life i don't think i've eaten 10 apples to the core like that like not not like in that fashion like i'm sure like sliced apples sure you add it all up but like i don't think i don't think and you have the little like you know little curvy thing and you just throw it away from a week ago and you take 34 years i don't think i got 10 cores in my i don't think i got a body count of 10 uh maybe maybe i'm floating right around there but yeah it's certainly like your parents would hand you an apple you eat a few bites yeah to be

like i'm done with this whole fucking thing i don't think i fucking i don't think so either. But I can absolutely say this. If I ever ate one to the core, not even one iota of me said, I need another one right now. No one has ever said, like, oh, you got a bucket of apples? I don't care a second of it it wasn't even like once I got full I was like this is getting tough

first bite I can't even fathom nobody has ever said like yo you got a new bucket of apples? Like, give me two. Or like, I finished one, and I just need more apple. An apple serving size is the absolute maximum amount of apple, and you blew through that times ten.

That is fucking wacky, man. It was funny. You are one of a goddamn kind. It was a personal challenge. But, like, if you ate 10 bananas i felt bad about getting flown out there for 10 minutes i was like i don't want these apples to go to waste too i'm just on my budget conscience i think out of all the fruit like if you ate 10 bananas i could be like i don't know that you know whatever that's a thing uh 10 10 apples

it's like the hardness of it. All of it. Sore teeth. Yeah, sore teeth. Even if you have the red ones are still a little bit sour. Sometimes they're mealy

and acidic. It's just like this is madness. Yeah. Madness. They were crisp. I'll give them that. They were crisp.

They got a good chunk. Oh my God. They're mealy. Forget about it. All right. Let's end this fiasco. How are you guys doing? Good, man. Fantastic They're mealy. Forget about it. All right. Let's end this fiasco. How are you guys doing? Good, man.

Fantastic. You look great. Oh, yeah? I feel like you're looking trim. No, I'm doing it. There's no reason for it. No, I know. We can talk about it.

I've been taking a cholesterol medicine. What do you want? Some kind of statin. One of the statins. I'm on amlodipine. Turn my whole fucking blood around. That's wild. Oh, dude, I think I'm almost dead now.

I'll tell you what. I'm almost dead. I'm going to put a gun in my mouth and kill myself because these are the conversations we have now. What cholesterol medicine are you on? Amlodipine, kid. Five miggies a day. It changed everything. It turned. it's crazy.

You could feel it? Like a difference? Oh, I can't feel anything. I can't feel any difference. And I'm trying to do other stuff to deal with that. But like I just started taking these liver cleanse like supplements. Like I forget the name of the one, but it's like a pretty – Supplements?

St. John's? St. John's? No, I take milk thistle. Milk thistle. That's what i meant milk thistle yes yes and then i took another thing like like wives tales those actually work oh yeah no i asked my gastroenterologist and he's like i never even heard of that you might not be a good gastroenterologist i swear to god you've got these guys get the worst doctors in the world he always tells me that he's like in some basement talking to some guy who's like you can drink drink your face off. Don't worry about it. A liberal basement. But this guy's a different one.

This guy's old. My cholesterol was 256, and it's now – my cholesterol is so good now from – it's perfect. Oh, wait. I misspoke. What's a good number? I misremembered. I'm on blood pressure. Blood pressure.

I was going to say, I think your cholesterol might be bad. My good cholesterol is up. My bad is way down, dude. What's a good number, though? I think 256 is very high, right? Like total is like mid, like 160 or something like that. So you were like way over. Something like that.

I had my – Bad is – once you hit 200, it's bad. I had a conversation recently that – it was basically like a real-life version of Who's On First because I'm so stupid where my good cholesterol is low and i just could not understand what she was saying which is like your good cholesterol is low and i was weird that's yeah good it's a weird she's like no that's bad that's the bad cholesterol is not good she's like no the good cholesterol is bad the bad cholesterol is good did you know something like how did you find this out you got a checkup random checkup and they said hey this is high or you were like feeling something because i'm worried i don't go to the doctor i just like something hurts or whatever yeah oh is this it all right is it really all right we got

about 55 minutes left it's not gonna get better i didn't know if we were just uh we uh yeah um i just did my yearly you know my yearly, I went in for a physical and whatever. See, I haven't done my yearly in about 10 years, so. I would venture to guess that you are probably baseline healthier than I am. I mean, look, here's my problem. I never played sports as a kid. I wasn't good at them, so then I never had a liking. So then I never tried

so that was kind of that was it so I was always a big art kid like I was into music and I was you know video games and nerdy shit comic books and drawing and all that shit so like I when you don't

do that and that's very not common. Like most kids play some sort of sport as a child, something. And when you don't do that, you are so far behind the eight ball by the time you get into high school. Wow. And so, but I'm lucky I have a high metabolism. So I should, thank you so much.

I should, I dodged, i danced between the raindrops as they say for many years like i i my cholesterol was fine enough just because you had the metabolism your body yeah the doctor really look man so you would if you would be fucking shredded if you had that metabolism and you were in in you know if worked out, I could probably really be in some fine shape. But I've always been the – Janine Garofalo used to have that great joke. I'm a straight C-plus student. I've never asked the question, will there be extra credit? I am 100%.

That's my philosophy. So I always am into like what can I – how good can I – how much is enough without killing myself? Totally. I don't know about killing myself. I hear killing myself. I think right away like you mean the real thing. That too. I'm not proactively killing myself.

I'm doing it slowly because that's enough. I don't have to put any effort into it. I don't have to be dramatic about it. I don't put my brains on the wall. I'm just doing it over time. I've described my life philosophy as I'm quiet quitting. I'm not storming into the office and being like, I'm fucking out of here. But I'm doing things that make it clear.

I'm making my exit. I'm on my way out. Packing up that cardboard box. Yeah, I think – He doesn't have any pictures of his family at his desk. I don't plan on being here long. I argue this with some of my comedy friends or entertainment friends, I should say. I just go, you know what?

I don't understand this mentality that every dollar must be made. Agreed. Like, enjoy your life. Take a breath. Have downtime. And look, I have never had millions of dollars waved in my face but i've been i've been lucky to live a pretty comfortable life doing what i love to do and being uh let's be honest a fucking pig it's like your like your your health it's like i could be shredded and in so much shape

but i'd rather chill and be just good i'd rather be i'd rather be and this is not a shot at either guy because i'm a huge fan of both of them but i'd rather and and they're both wildly successful incoming shots here we go i love it but no it's not a shot i'd rather be anthony bourdain than guy fieri got it like it's just dead and i'm huge fan of both guys and anthony bourdain was wildly successful obviously. But Anthony Bourdain, if you like follow his path, he didn't pop until he was like in his 40s. But he was always just like, hey, man, like have fun. Drink the drink.

Eat the food. Smoke the cigarette. All that stuff. Yeah, yeah. And it's like – and i just agree with that more and like he clearly was a guy that subscribed to like hey man i'm gonna do what i want to do i'm not gonna be a slave to the but like you said it's funny it's like okay tall striking handsome charismatic famous guy it's just easier to say you know some of these things when you i i wonder sometimes in his like darkest days of like of uh in terms of business when he was like failing he got pretty dark i was

yeah not not not that part because that was actually the peak of his success right but like when he wasn't succeeding if he was kind of like well it's okay because i'm just doing what i love or if he was like fuck i need to make some money and blah, blah, blah. Well, there's a – one of the most inspiring videos I ever saw was him talking about when he got that break. I related to it. It blew my mind because he was talking and he was just like, I couldn't make rent. I couldn't do this. I couldn't do that. And he was just – and I was like, i was like god like i just i relate to this like i understand what it feels like to be in this zone with your

career like and like to be struggling uh and maybe i'm very fortunate now to not be in that place and and but i've been there i've been there. When I moved back to New York in 2019, I hadn't worked in three years. Where were you? I was in LA. Oh, shit. How long were you in LA? Six years.

Oh, I don't think I realized that. For the first three, first three, it was a windfall. I did everything. I worked and I booked and I did all this stuff. Just on luck? Or not luck, but you just happened to?

It just did all. It was like new, one of the new guys in town and whatever. And year three, it just dried up. End of year three, it just dried up. And in those last three years in LA, I didn't work. I couldn't get arrested on the road. And when I did get a gig on the road, it was not good.

It was not well paying it didn't really make a lot of financial sense uh i got dropped from a major sitcom uh i got my manager and i split i was called living biblically and i was supposed to be a recurring character on 10 episodes and they told me two weeks before the shooting of after the we shot the pilot they told me two weeks before the first table read that i was off i was gone just the character were they yeah i played like an office like lethario and i was kind of the foil to the main character and they they were so mean to me through the whole pilot and we couldn't understand why and then they cut the character and we kept arguing he's supposed to be unlikable that's the point

and then like right after they cut the character me too hit and I was like these they knew they fucking knew me too was coming interesting and they were like hang your hat on that though all you need is someone else to blame also I'll say you know the last thing you

want to be is creepy Lhario when that movement hits who knows maybe they would look at you and you know be like oh that's the guy who was the pig on that show i guess so i mean i just watched an interview with tyke watiti whatever the fuck his name is what we do in the shadows yeah he talked about tyke what we do in the shadows yeah i don't know what that i think it was the marvel guy fx well he made the movie what we do in the shadows he he oh we're all thinking three different things yeah but well the show is based on the movie okay yeah yeah but uh it's like a vampire thing yeah but he directed thor ragnarok oh okay it's not world yeah but he did jojo rabbit and he played hitler jojo rabbit yes and he said nobody famous would

take the role because they were like, I'm not going to. He goes, I think their agents didn't even show it to them. They're like, I'm not going to ruin my client's career by having them play Hitler. And I was like, that's weird to me. Why would you ever ruin your career by acting a part? You're playing a part. I agree with that. But I watched the morning show and Steve Carell is a Matt Lauer creep type guy.

Right. And, you know, he, prior to that was, you putting water in your coffee? It's too hot, and I got to cool it off because I'm a pussy with heat. Well, that's fair, but we could have got you like an ice cube or something that's wacky to water down your, now it's just a shit.

Would have been nice if anybody offered. Well, I didn't know, like you said, you didn't tell me you were a pussy. But I do look at Steve Carell, not like I look at him differently, but I don't know. I just have this... I used to just have these goofy images of him in my head.

Sure. And now I have this picture of him raping a girl. Would you play Hitler? I'd play anything. Yeah. I would play anything. I would play a pedophile. Would you?

Yeah. You know D'Elia, that shit? Remember D'Elia played a pedophile on... Yeah. Remember when he did it like four times? He did it on you. Would you? Yeah. You were with D'Elia, that shit? Remember when D'Elia played a pedophile on Workaholics? Yeah. Remember when he did it like four times? He did it on you, that show you. Oh, it's funny. When I first met him, I said to him, you're amazing on Workaholics.

It's so nice to meet you. I go, that was one of my favorite roles I've seen all year. And he goes, yeah, that really did well for me. It got me a lot of notice. He goes, you know, people didn't want to do it. And I go, I had this conversation. I go, I don't understand me. It got me a lot of notice. He goes, you know, people didn't want to do it. And I go, and I said, I had this conversation. I go, I don't understand why you're playing a part.

Like, who cares? Well, you know, some people aren't my part. We did, like, we're doing a sketch over here. Wouldn't that be funny if you went back through in history and, like, anybody who played any of those roles was like, it's because I was secretly. Well, I think maybe that's kind of what Taika, I can't believe I can't remember.

I think it's Taika Waititi. Taika. Yeah, Taika. That's it. Yeah. I think maybe that's what he was referring to is like, or maybe. Maybe he was saying like, you know, sometimes you find out that people that play these parts are a little too close to the part, and that's why people are afraid to do them. But anyway, all this terrible shit happened career-wise in L.A. in the second half.

And it just all hit at once. I remember the one season I wasn't on Better Call Saul was in that three-year period. It was just everything that was going to be not great was going to happen right fucking then. And then also, Me Too hit, and all the BLM stuff was starting to happen. Well, it wasn't quite happening just yet.

Bubbling. But the point I'm getting at is straight white male became a pariah. So it was a lot of different factors. And I couldn't – I didn't fucking work for three years. I was out of money. My podcast at the time, I still have it, We'll See You in Hell, which now does really well. But at the time, we almost stopped it because we were like,

we've been doing this for almost five years. It's not making a fucking dime. Everything was just coming to a head in the wrong way. And I was like, I got to move to New York. I have to move back to New York. I don't know what I'm going to do. I can't be proactive in this city. I had two pilots sell, go to fall apart in negotiations.

We lost the pilots. I sold two movies that never came to fruition. You mean you wrote them? Like wrote them, sold the idea for like sorry, I shouldn't say sold. Had the idea sort of commissioned into development for like a few grand and then the idea was we'll make this and then we'll give you a lot of

money and it never fucking happened. I feel like that happens. Yeah, yeah. In Hollywood it's like for me the moment I would think of, hey I made it, is like 10 steps early. it's like you for me the moment i i i would think of hey i made it is like 10 steps early yeah it's like hey we're putting we're shooting your pilot i'd be like we're doing it it's like they're not even close dude it was it was a brutal run and i and i i i was like i have to move home and i remember trying to move i moved i moved back to new york almost entirely

on credit cards i was in so much fucking debt when I got back here. And I started doing comedy all the time again. I was like, this is why I came back. I can be proactive. I can start rebuilding myself. So you weren't really doing comedy in L.A.? There was nowhere to do it. Like the venues, you know, one of the main venues to do it in was the Melt meltdown comics room uh nerd melt that closed um like the

spots i couldn't get past at the store okay the improv used me spread there just isn't stage time there's just not a lot of stage anyway i moved back to new york and i started doing a lot of comedy i was doing the set all the big clubs in new York. And I was like, this is where I moved back. And I started making some money just doing sets again. And I was like, I'm going to rebuild myself as a comedian. Fuck yeah. And then the pandemic. Yeah.

And that was the darkest I've ever heard. Was it? It's as close as I've ever shaved to suicide. Did you ever have some serious thoughts? Were you at an ideation level? I was the first. I don't know that I had any thoughts of actually doing it, but that was the first time in my life,

the only time in my life, where I had people calling me and saying, we want to come get you. We're worried. Are you okay? It was bad. It was dark. And then it all turned around amidst all of that.

Yeah, well, I was going to say, that's funny because a lot of comics thrived and like exploded during the uh pandemic and i feel like that's when i really started to pay attention to to you and your work is like through that maybe maybe i'm just not remembering it like the timeline but i feel like that's what you started to pick up yeah that's when i met you i was definitely after. That's when I met you. I was definitely after Saul. Cause I remember watching better. I didn't watch better call Saul till later.

And I remember like the first season or two where I was like, wait, is that Joe? That's fucking Joe right there. How did that come about by the way? Just like, just auditioned. Auditioned.

And they were, they were, they were really nurturing and really good to me. Awesome. They still, they still, still stay in touch with everybody. Not everybody, but a lot of the guys.

Jonathan, I still talk to. The best. He's awesome. So, yeah. But, you know. So, anyway. Bourdain was the whole point. Sorry.

No, I love these podcasts. Yeah, it was Bourdain. I saw a thing where he was like i couldn't pay my rent and i just was like any and he goes and he's describing this whole thing and i'm like almost getting like teary-eyed like jesus christ like i get this man yeah and i'm like god this must have been when he was in like his 30s or 20s or something and then he goes i was 44 and i was like holy no yeah you like you don't realize that yeah and he said but this is the part that really stuck with me because i'm 45 now

i feel like i feel like the pieces started for me to come together when i was around 43 i by no means feel like oh i've I've made it or I can coast. I don't feel anything like that. I feel certain things, which is I have two podcasts that are doing well, and I'm very happy about that. They might not be in the top 10 of comedy podcasting, but they do well and they're out there and people are listening and fans are out there. I feel so grateful for that.

I feel so grateful that I get to go on the road now and do the types of venues I want to do, the types of shows I want to do, the type of material I want to do without any question, without any pushback, any problems. And then I have Joey Rose's in New York, the bar and sandwich shop. Yeah, I'm just saying that you have a whole dream set up, you know? These things, I'm so lucky to be doing this stuff at my age of 45. And he says in this thing, and I had thought this, weirdly almost around the same age.

He was, he talks about, he sold this art or he, his article got sold to the New Yorker. I think it was, or it worked. It got published in something. And then,

and then he got his book deal. And that was like what started the dominoes. That, that book would have come in such a, I don't want to call it Sopranos recently where it became like aspirational and I remember like hearing about Kitchen Confidential

so much and I read that later in life too and I was like how the fuck did people read this and be like that's what I want to do it is like the whole book is like we're doing black tar heroin in the back room I don't find a different says he says in that interview and this is the line that stuck in my head he was like i was very cognizant to not fuck this up because he realized after all this shit it

was finally coming together right and i was like holy shit man that's how i feel like don't fuck it up dude like you know it really is wild though People don't realize how long it can take, how old people are, how even, like, comparing. You know, you're like, maybe my show's not, like, top five. But it's, like, you know, there can only be one or two of the best shows out there. The rest are, you know, it's like on TV. It's like every different night of the week you watched your favorite show of that there's plenty of space there's plenty of time there's plenty of you know fans there's plenty of everything where it's like the idea that you have to make every

dollar be the absolute most liked favorite top whatever uh or do the most you know it's like we we are calling our tour the one show only tour. We're not adding shows. If we sell out the Wilbur and we're happy with that, we're done. Cause I don't want to add the second one. And then you struggle and then you get upset. And now you've,

what's something, what should have been like an amazing achievement. We're now looking at it as, as negative. And that's, you know, and it's, it's just like,

you could do that forever. You can just keep adding and adding and adding. And I mean, we've actually done a great deal of that in our careers. Oh, almost exclusively. Yeah. I think in the internet world, there are a zillion failures. It's like 99% of people who set out fail.

Then there's – in that 1%, there's a small sliver that just skyrockets because they had the right show or the right TikTok or whatever. And then the rest of us are kind of chasing that and you got to keep up with the joneses you got to download the new app and you got to try the new formats and all that shit i like though i think if you if you jump on a rocket ship right away and you're at the top god bless you and if it's something you can keep riding sure so you're dead then you've made it made it but there's a lot of people like you said those first three years you were like i'm good but then you know you might right now you might be thriving on tiktok and then the government shuts it down and you're like i i don't have any other skills because i've only feel lucky doing this you know i feel really lucky that my eggs were never in one basket

and it's been stressful you know and keeping those balls in the air is stressful. Yeah, you're juggling, right. But I feel very lucky. I look back on things now that didn't work out, that at times I was ready to hang it all up over. And I go, thank God that didn't happen. Right. I was so misfocused. Like, I thought that that's what I wanted but I didn't and now because that didn't happen it made me do all this

now I get to do it like this and this is way better I will not function well I would not have functioned well as an all eyes on me guy like I just wouldn't have do you know why that you think mentally or you think you just like

i worry oh you're a pig i'm a pig yeah wait a minute this guy's a fucking pig no i worry about everything i have anxiety it's it's a constant struggle and like you know like look man i've I've been attacked a lot online, a lot. I've been trolled hard. It's not pleasant. What's your worst? Did you have like one joke or moment or something that was like? I talk about it in my new hour about this new hour, this one-man show I've been doing because it's about the culture. And I talk about the bullying that you receive or can receive. And I don't do it in a pity me way.

I just talk about, but one of the things I touch on is alt-right, Hollywood left, bicyclists, pissed off bicyclists. Yeah, nurses. They all act the fucking same. Not one of them acted any better than anybody else. Bicyclists are Yeah, nurses. They all act the fucking same. Not one of them acted any better than anybody else. Bicyclists are funny though. They're brutal. Everybody to a man who has ever dipped

their toe in that world with a joke or an accusation or whatever. I mean, they actually got him good. They suspended him. They got him suspended from Twitter for like 12 hours and then as soon as it was expired, they would get him suspended again. And they just kept on fucking nailing it.

They blamed. Call a radio show. They blamed me for, I want to say it was in France. There was a terrorist attack where someone drove a U-Haul. Yeah. No, no, no, no, no, no. That was different. That was different.

It was someone, someone like just like some psychopath on the West Side Highway just like veered off and hit a bunch of cyclists. Yeah. And he's like, see, that was he. the cyclist community was like, see what you do? And I was like, you think because I said cyclists suck that someone heard that? I do think you said you would run them down with your car. But you didn't do it, and that's the important part. That guy did.

I appreciate you think I have that level of power. Don't get me wrong. He was not wearing a Barstool sweatshirt. He didn't have a note that said, Fife told me to do this. No, no, I got you. It was just a guy who hit people. Yeah. And they're like,

this is what the rhetoric you're putting out there does. It's, I mean, people, I get it. I understand that words can hurt and I understand that, that,

that, I don't know. Look, I've always been of, of the mindset and I don't think I ever won't be, but who knows, but I've always been of the mindset, and I don't think I ever won't be, but who knows. But I've always been of the mindset of if neo-Nazis open a bakery in my neighborhood and some guy goes, you know, I discovered the neo-Nazi bakery and I love it. That fucking guy was going neo-Nazi regardless.

He was going to end up there. It doesn't take a bakery or a tweet or whatever to push somebody over the edge. If you're going to move in a certain terrible direction, you're going to move in that direction no matter what the fuck happens. I don't know, though. They got real good banana bread. I was going to say. They got real good banana bread. I love banana bread. Banana be that you would go to the neo-Nazi bakery?

Meaning, I should have qualified. If you shop in the bakery, you have to be in it. I have to go. I have to get tattoos. My point is, it's a ridiculous example, obviously, but my point is, it's alcohol. Right. Ooh, he's a bad drunk. He hits women when he drinks.

No, no, no. He's a bad guy. The alcohol just removes something that allows him to be himself. It's the video games. You shoot up a school and play video games. No, no, no, man. That's a fucking psychotic kid. That was the

Riley Cooper. Riley Cooper was on the Eagles and he was at a Kenny Chesney concert, I believe. And he said the N-word and he called everyone there

the N-word, I think, which is wild in a Kenny Chesney concert. And he was like, I can't apologize. He was like, my bad, I was drunk. And I was like,

I don't think so, man. I remember what Roseanne was. I was on a, not Anivar. Anivar is a steroid. Ambien. Amb bad. I was drunk. I was like, I don't think so, man. Roseanne was I was on a not anivar. Anivar is a steroid. Ambien. Ambien. You say you do get loose on Ambien, but whatever's in your heart comes out. Tiger was like, I piss on girls.

I was on Ambien. What are you fucking talking about? The like, what's it called? I actually think Roseanne deserves a second chance. I don't really know anything about her that she said if she's on Ambien. I don't even know what she said. I wish she... I don't think there's anything too bad, right?

Was it like a hardcore N-bomb or anything? No, she said Valerie Jarrett looked like Planet of the Apes, but then she also said, I thought she was white. Which, Valerie Jarrett, it's believable enough that I'm willing to give Roseanne the benefit of the doubt what is she from? I just wish Roseanne would be funny again I'm such an admirer

I grew up on Roseanne I hate that that new special is just her being like I can't let the assholes win who cares do jokes now so many really fucking talented and funny people who are not even maybe necessarily funny,

but just like entertainers who now become political pundits and stuff. It's like, what are you doing wasting your time doing this? I almost think of it like the Al Davis, like the Just Win Baby. Complaining about them. Yeah, brother. I mean, that's a tough one. You tell me that's not a white woman? Yeah.

That's tough. She does look kind of white. She looks a lot of white. Yeah. You show me just that picture. Yeah. Now, there was some other ones where it's like, okay, there's, you know. But the, what was I going to say?

She's just an ugly white woman. She's not an ugly black woman. Sorry. I forgot what I was going to say? I thought she's just an ugly white woman. She's not an ugly black woman. Sorry. I forgot what I was going to say. Yeah, no. I don't think, like, everybody that defended Roseanne said, too, like, Roseanne's crazy. She's not racist.

Monique defended her and said, Roseanne, like, stood up for me as a black woman. Like, Roseanne, I just don't think Roseanne Barr is racist. No, we get that a lot here, too. Like, Portnoy's been involved in it a lot. I've got it a couple times. I mean, I've bluntly done stereotypical racial jokes back in 2010 where I was like, I'm joking, but I did say

something fucked up, you know? Dave was involved in this, I don't know if you followed the women's basketball. It was a black girl and a white girl. They both were acting cocky on the court. One girl was like, oh, that's so cool. The black girl was a white girl they both were acting cocky on the court one girl who was like oh that's so cool the black girl it was like you're classless and he was he was calling her classless but that's because he lost 250 000 on a bet because the other team won and he was and

he's like but everybody thinks he's racist he's like i'm not racist like there's i do think that term got like spiraled out of control maybe i'm'm insensitive. Maybe I said some dumb racial shit. Maybe I don't think when I talk. I don't hate anybody because of their race. Racism, sexist, Nazi, these terms are all, none of them almost mean anything anymore. No words mean anything. Once they get outside the bubble that it was created in, nothing means anything.

It doesn't mean anything. And the bubble, what bubble? It used to start like in real, let's say real journalism it started, and then it got outside of it, and people started to use it improperly. But now there's not even a bubble of real journals. They're fucking assholes too. What's so weird now, or interesting,

now, like I read an article last night about Melissa McCarthy. You know, she's playing Ursula in the new Little Mermaid movie. And there was backlash from the drag community because Ursula was based on a drag queen. And they said a drag queen should be playing Ursula in the movie. And that wasn't the case because Ursula was based on Divine, apparently. I thought Ursula was just a chick. That's what I thought. Well, I don't know.

She's definitely over me. In any case, there was some heat about Miss K. Now, Melissa McCarthy is saying, well, I used to do drag queen performances as a lady named, I think it was Lady Y or something like that. So I have done drag. And now people are like, well, that's cool. Disney's doing their best because she's technically. But then I'm like, wait, a drag queen has to be – I thought it had to be a man that dressed as a woman. That just means you're a girl who dresses flashy, right?

Here's my – here's what I'm getting at. Now in a world where people can say I identify as this, I identify as that, these are my pronouns. I'm a woman, but I'm a drag queen. Where it kind of all meant everything, now all of it kind of means anything anymore. So I'm just like, I guess that's good. Now we can maybe not get too wrapped up in, is the person playing that role exactly by blood and lifestyle,

this exact thing? Maybe. I don't know. I don't know. It's a weird time. I forget what even story my dad referenced. It was with my dad yesterday.

I forget what it was. Here's about this issue. People got hot about that, huh? No, they didn't. Yes, people send it, but if you talk to someone, anyone, it's like, oh, I don't actually care. So many people are so many people

are bored with the internet and they're just like i can just send this tweet and i i it is you you remember it forever and then the headlines start doing like the people are doing this and it's like no one you i forget what an issue an issue that really hits is like if it's going on outside the internet yeah you know like tons of shit's always going to be happening on the internet people are going to be saying, reacting, whatever. I guess this is my point. I talked about it yesterday and I don't remember what it was. It clearly wasn't a big deal.

I remember when Occupy Wall Street happened in New York. I was blogging about it, posting exclusively that all day long, talking about it. But also, if I were to go meet my friends at happy hour i we'd say what's up and then we'd be like did you see this walking by wall street that's crazy like it can't you know yeah it actually reaches conversation and real life sure so many things now don't you know there are too many things it's almost like a like trump was a microcosm where it's like he did so much stuff you forgot he did the other thing yeah it's like so much stuff is a big deal now because everything we're on to the next one well the the you know corporate media well i should say more importantly corporate news is the most irresponsible shit slinging

pariah fucking business there is out there it's disgraceful the media in this country the real media meaning the news media should be fucking ashamed of itself the violence and and issues and divides that they cause it's just it's just incredible to me that they stoke these flames they they are completely unaccountable they are held to zero standard they can do whatever the fuck they want they get away with fucking murder they get away with they get away with murder like when when when the fox news texts leak and you see tucker carlson or whoever being like these fucking people actually buy this shit and then the next day those fans are right back on there rooting him on it's like they are they're like trumping it where it's like you can just keep doing this all and you can even get caught doing like the wrong thing nobody cares it's all it's all sides of it

it's all sides of it and you and you have people in in middle america you know i was talking about this on pig de stefano's podcast fucking oink yeah yeah pig slaughter that fat boy i go if you read the news you think new york is the is a fucking war zone it's the most dangerous city on earth i go look at murder rate statistics in this country the highest murder rates are in cities that are in the midwest yeah like new york doesn't even make the top 20 in murder considering how many people there are and how crazy it could and should be is probably one of the same you know how many murders there were last year in new york how many i think 450 out of you know nine million fucking people yeah so so when you go just on numbers new york is number three there are nine million people here that's a very so my point is is like you know i go on gutfeld on fox and uh and i like greg's an old friend of

mine and i don't agree with some of the takes he has. I agree with some of the takes he has. I get called a libtard every time I go on. People say I'm shutting this off. I hate this guy.

Libtard talks so flat. Which is weirdly flattering. Yeah. Do I think Fox News does great work? No. I go on there because I'm like,

I feel like I can talk about something and give an opinion. I've seen a fucking shit ton of people watching. That guy does great. And the people that are cool no i go on there because i'm like i feel like i can talk about something i'll tell you i go on there to give an opinion fucking shit ton of people watching well that guy does and the people that are cool that watch it are great yeah they're great people can just kind of yeah like irrationally watch it but it's like it's like i'll go on a show i would go i would go on a show like that on cnn and say my opinions well that is the difference it's another barstool thing we get a lot of us have been invited to go on fox news ducker carlson whoever to do these

like quick hits on things that are funny but slightly political whatever and so you know dave will go on and do it get a lot of exposure and then people are like you're a fox news fucking all the right races and he's like i'll go on cnn tomorrow they just don't invite me i do think those i think the right side will tend to uh get down with comedians and more entertainment i don't invite me. I do think those – I think the right side will tend to get down with comedians and more entertainment. Tucker, I don't know if I got – I don't know if I would do Tucker. I turned down Tucker. That to me was too much. It's too – he's a little too like I've got something to prove here.

Whereas Greg, I feel like will say what he – What he believes. His take. Yeah. Well, he'll – and also too, if you could say to Greg what are you an idiot and he'll laugh and you go back Greg has said to me

off camera like I like when you come on because you make it like a conversation and we go back and forth it's not just like a yes I agree with you whereas Tucker I feel like would be like but don't you think you know well this is all tied into your appearance here nicely. The brilliance of taste buds is you can do that argument, those type of arguments, about everything.

And really, that's what's going on on the internet. It's people arguing about everything and anything. You guys just can take it a step further and be like, let's argue about Pop-Tarts. We just talked about this on Chrissy Chaos. Chris said – Chris was talking about embellishment on podcasts for comedy's sake. And we were kind of debating whether – and he said, are you going to sit here and tell me you don't ever embellish on taste buds? And I go, I swear to God, Chris, no no because that was like a hard rule we made for ourselves we were like it can never be a fake argument it can never be fake anger it can never be fake passion when we get to that point

it's real yeah like and that's no and if you like fake it it sucks like that's why we don't fake it right but i can see what he means like you, you know, you're not going to ever actually, you're not going to lose a friendship over cinnamon brown sugar versus strawberry. But we never, but we would never say we would. Yeah. But yeah, I mean, when we start arguing about shit, I'll find myself like dying on the hill of a flavor or a song or something that is completely objective. Here's one Kevin died on the hill of recently. I'd like to hear your take.

Do pigeons exist outside of cities? Are pigeons in the suburbs? That's a great question. I've never seen it. Exactly. I mean, they must somewhere, right? There's dirty rats who fucking flock

to the urban spots to get the dumpster food. It's like there are suburbs where there are rats, but you're less likely to see them. I'm not denying that there's not a single pigeon in those suburbs. No, you were denying. Right. Then I was embellishing. Wait, I have one more stupid question. Sorry, before we move on real quick.

Timothy Pallas, one of our guys who made some posters around here, fantastic graphic design artist, DMed me a question the other day, and it was one of my guys who made some posters around here, very classic graphic design artist, DMed me a question the other day, and it was one of my favorite questions I ever had. Are the E's in the word P silent? It could just be the letter P followed by silent. I think they are. Wait, say this again?

The letters E in the word P, like I took a P, are they silent? No. But if you drop them, you're still saying P. How would you pronounce it? Yeah, but and the word P. No. I took a P. No, they're silent. But if you drop them away, you're still saying P. I would use a pronouncer. Yeah, but no. But they're not. I agree. The A in P's P, like eating peas, that's silent. Yes. But the double E.

Well, no. The E-A can make an E sound. Right. Depending on like B. I guess if you were to take away the the a and p e a it would be like a pay not a p yeah yeah i don't know if that still counts as silent a or not because it's more of a combining yeah yeah to make a difference but uh yeah you know i could find myself 25 minutes later being like obviously they're not silent you know but but that's not faking it it's like i do you know what it is is i it's not the topic it's competitiveness the desire to win the

argument i fucking hate his stupid face so i want to be right and you want to be wrong yeah my point is is always and by the way chris wasn't chris wasn't saying like you guys are faking it. He was just saying, like, are you telling me there's never a time? And I'm like, no. It's such a fucking hard rule that we have episodes where afterwards we're like, was that a dud? Because we don't. Go hard enough? Yeah. Because, like, you can't.

That's it. Like, if you're going to have a debate show, it got to go – it's got to be a real debate. Once you start pretending, then it's a problem. Taste Buds is inherently let's be ultra serious about something that's not that serious. That's not embellishment, but that's just like let's – But the ultra serious – I hate that it sounds like I'm putting such a fine point on this dumb podcast. It's a fucking food argument. Who gives a shit?

But that's how it works because you do take it seriously. But that's the thing. Sal and I started doing it because we got into those arguments so much in real life. And we were like, dude, we're fucking crazy. This is a podcast. What was the original? Chips and Oreos? Is that right?

That was the first one. And then the second argument we had when Sal said, I think this is a podcast, was the bagel, which was our second episode. Cinnamon raisin versus everything bagels. But we were like, people around us were like, Jesus Christ, guys. And they were like getting into the...

My point is, is if he and I weren't weirdly wired like that, we never would have... It wasn't like, what if we did hard debates about this benign shit? It's natural. It was like, no, dude, I care this much. I am with you on that. And I'll get going about crazy shit too. And if you're not like that, people look at you like you're fucking crazy.

Yeah. But it's like, I don't know what to tell you, man. I get passionate about my donuts. I get passionate about my sport i get passionate about whatever and sorry you can't relate but like i'll fucking scream and yell for however long you want to go i'll do it you know yeah yeah yeah no my movie podcast uh me and pat walsh do a show called we'll see you in hell and it's like we're it's the same thing like in the beginning pat Pat and I argued a lot, a lot. There were some episodes we didn't release because we were like,

this is too much. What were those about? We had to re-record our review of Logan. It got personal. What did you say? What was like the worst thing you said in that? Or what? He said.

Who said the worst thing? I don't even remember because we deleted it. But he, I remember I called him disgusting and he took it really personally. And he was like, he was like, you referred to me as disgusting and i was like like because he thought i meant physically like i was saying he was repulsive and i wasn't but he was really like and he i don't fucking release that i deleted it dude it got ugly it got to a point where he it ended he was like i'm leaving and he was walking out of my apartment in LA. And I go, if you walk out that door, don't come back.

No way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We are done. You and I are done professionally. It sounded like, again, the podcast was making zero money. I don't even know why we were doing it. That's why Taste Buds works, though. Because you were willing to do arguments like that for $0 at one point. Because you really mean it. That's why Taste Buds works, though. You were willing to do arguments like that

for zero dollars at one point. Because you really mean it. Right. But here's my point, too, with We'll See You in Hell. Pat and I got to a point where we stopped arguing like that. And the podcast now does even better than it ever did then. We thought the whole thing was...

And we said the same thing. We can't ever fake it, whatever. But we really thought that the crux of this podcast was, oh, like the Siskel and Ebert-y debate about movies. And we found out later it really wasn't. People just liked us talking about movies together. Now, like, even when we disagree, it doesn't get heated anymore. It's just very much like, I don't know, man, you know. What if you think Chase Bud buds can work that way?

I do. Do you think taste buds, if you were like, I agree, sir. Brown sugar cinnamon is the best. I do, because I noticed something. Everything won that debate, right? I noticed with taste buds. Everything bagel. I'm with you on that, but I would

I know that's a losing battle. I think they're disgusting. They're not disgusting. They're just like garlic and shit all in your mouth right away. Just first thing in the morning is weird to me. Totally. I've gotten chip – like pretzel chips, you know, that have onion – everything flavoring on it. And I will dip that in cream cheese and I'll have it with a soda or a beer at like night as like but like as an animal i'm an animal but i but but as a bagel in the morning

dude dipping something into cream cheese is like that is like disgusting and i get the whipped you know the whipped one you can you know do it easily i remember actually speaking of gutfeld he was on a diet once he was like the first guy I ever knew that did keto, like before anybody talked about keto. And he lost all this weight. And I was like, what are you doing? He's like, it's the easiest diet ever. And he would go out drinking and then he'd be like,

I'm going to the deli. I'm going to get bacon and cream cheese. And he would dip the bacon in cream cheese. And he was losing weight. And I was like, what the fuck is this diet? Try not to have carbs and you're good to go. Want to know something repulsive I do? And it's genuinely not repulsive, but it is out of the ordinary.

Yeah. I forget the brand name, but at the market by my apartment, basically they sell these big pepperonis. Yeah. They're in a package, so they're all kind of lined, almost like shingles. Yeah, yeah. Rather than the little ones, they're like the big round ones. Yeah, big round ones and they're all lined up.

I know what you're talking about, the pre-sliced. Yeah, and so I just rip that package open, full thing. I get some Dijon mustard, square it down the middle, fold it up like a big taco. Oh, you fucking pig! You eat the whole package at once? Jesus Christ!

I've been doing a ton of prosciutto recently. I do goat cheese and prosciutto on a Ritz cracker. I hate goat cheese, but I love prosciutto. I'll take down a whole one of those pre-made, pre-packaged. Yeah, yeah. Prosciutto actually is very low in calories

all things considered. It's high in sodium, so I try to dodge it as much as I can these days because of the sodium intake. But I do, I used to, when I was in college, I used to buy a stick of pepperoni, like the Hormel stick or like the Boar's Head stick, and a stick of

Cracker Barrel cheese, and I would bite each you fucking trash yeah you're a landfill that's great but um but no the um um with prosciutto is great with i my favorite snack in this realm that we're talking about i love i'll get triscuit crackers have you ever done uh taste buds on crackers have you ever done a ritz cracker debate with something i don't think we've ever done do like ritz versus triscuit i would love to do that i think the ritz cracker is the most underrated thing in the world a ritz cracker buttery salty goodness phenomenal so good but triscuits are my go-to when there's a Couturement. If plain Triscuit, I would never eat.

I mean, I would, but like – Oh, yeah, yeah. That's right. But if you're dressing it up, Triscuit to me can't be beat. But anyway, Triscuit, Cracker Barrel, white Vermont cheddar sharp, pepperoni. And then I'll also get Super Sot and like Asiago or sharp provolone and i'll do both and then on the salami and on the supersat and uh uh provolone one i'll sometimes put a little fig jam you get some fig spread forget it dude forget it i'll do i'll make whole charcuteries oh yeah a good meat and cheese board you got the do you have a PS2 in here?

PS5 and 2. Well, I was just about to ask if you are a gamer. I don't think I knew how much of a gamer you are. Yeah. We just got the PS5. We just got the PS5. We got the Nintendo 64. I think we got an Xbox of some sort.

And then the PS2, yeah. I have a PS5 and an Xbox. I mean, I have like 40-some systems at this point. 40? Yeah, because I collect through the ages. So I started, you know... There's different ones? Because there's not 40, right? Oh, you're counting like Atari.

Oh, I'm saying from Atari. But even still, there's 40? Oh, yeah, dude. There's tons I don't even have. I'm thinking, like, if I were to list them, I mean, I'm thinking Atari, Nintendo, dude. There's tons I don't even have. I'm thinking, like, if I were to list them, I mean, I'm thinking Atari, Nintendo, Super Nintendo, PlayStation, Dreamcast, GameCube. So we can walk through. PlayStation 1, 2, 3.

But, okay, we can, but I'm just saying, like, even if I started to go through it, I would get to, like, 10 or 15. I don't think it was 40. Ready? Yeah. Let's do it. Okay. Atari, I'll try to do them categorically.

Atari 2600, Atari 5200, Atari 7800, Atari VCS. That's four. Can somebody keep count? Yes, I got you. Okay. Intellivision 1, Intellivision 2. That's six. Right?

Yep. ColecoVision. And then I have a Coleco alternate called the Gemini. Eight. 32 left. Okay. Nintendo. Super Nintendo. Super Nintendo.

Nintendo 64. GameCube. Wii U. Nintendo Switch. Nintendo Switch Mini. Game Boy. Hold on. That's seven right there, right?

Was that seven? I'm keeping total. We're at 15 total. Okay. Game Boy. Game Boy Advance. Nintendo 3DS. Okay.

Super Famicom. Okay, that's where I'm like. I knew all those ones. Super Famicom? Super Famicom. Okay, that's where I'm like, I knew all those ones. Famicom. Super Famicom? They're the Japanese versions. Okay. Okay. Keep going?

Sure. Ready? Sega Master System. Oh, boy. Sega Genesis. Sega Genesis 2. Sega CDX, Sega Saturn, Sega Dreamcast. All right.

What was the handheld for that? Sega Game Gear? Sega Game Gear. Game Gear, yeah. I have. Atari Lynx, I forgot about. Alright. PlayStation 1.

PlayStation 2. PlayStation 3. PlayStation 4. PlayStation 5. Xbox. Xbox 360. Xbox Series X. Motherfucker's gonna get to 40 like on the nose um are we running out of gas though i've got other handhelds i'm not remembering at the moment what about um it was

a tekin tekin was a game right wasn't there like a a red uh i want to say there was a game, right? Wasn't there like a red... I want to say there was a... Something that was like 128 bits when 64 was the rage. I think there was another... I don't think so. How many are we at, by the way? We're at 37. I think you haven't hit the Xboxes like 360.

No, I said those. Oh, you did? Yeah, but I'm also not counting like... Game Boy Advance SP. That's 38. That's a variation. I've got a Game Boy Color. That's, you know?

Yeah. I've got like, oh, oh. Oh, the new thing that just came out that plays the cartridge collections. I'll have to look it up, but just trust me, there's another one. Yeah. The fact – You listed 30. That's 40 on the notes. That's 40 on the notes.

I have more stuff. Like I have a ton of plug-and-plays. Right. Like I have an old Pong system, so that's one. You're crazy. I would never have more stuff. I have a ton of plug-and-plays. I have an old Pong system, so that's one. You're crazy. I would never have guessed it. I would have said there's like – but I also – I would say Xbox is one. But they're not because obviously like one, two, and three PlayStation.

So anyway – Yeah. But you have PlayStation 2 games here. Yeah, we got that too. We got PlayStation 2 and PlayStation 5. But you do have a – because the two games won't play on the five, right? No, no. But we do.

This is two. Well, you know what I just learned? I didn't know this. The two will play all the one games. I didn't know that. I've been plugging

my fucking PlayStation 1 in and then plugging my PlayStation 2 in. I could just plug the two in. Those, they let it go and then as they, you know, now they want to make

all their money. Five will play all the fours though. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Those, they let it go, and then now they want to make all their money. Five will play all the fours, though. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I think the newer one, as long as it's the same. Four wouldn't play anything. Four was just four. Three would play a lot of the ones, but not any of the twos. Because they want you to fucking buy.

Yeah. Xbox is pretty good, though. The Series X, I i think is almost fully backwards you were like a video game nerd uh i like gaming man you know i i what do you think is the greatest console of all time well i that's tough that's tough i would answer derosa i would have what if i was on taste buds and you're like well i don't know. I like them all. Shut the fuck up. Give me a goddamn answer. Be a man. There was, oh, oh, Steam Deck I have. That's another one.

Is that what you're talking about with the? No, no. There's another console. Now you can play like everything in the world if you like jailbreak. Yeah. I'm keeping this like I'm a court stenographer. Every time I'm like, I'm actually going to play 42. Yeah.

I can't believe it got that high. Well, I have, well, Greatest Console is a tough one. My favorite console to collect for... My favorite two consoles to collect for are Atari 2600 and Intellivision. Those are like old school. The most nostalgic. I really do enjoy the simplicity of the games. I like that there's...

You can sit down and play Pong right now. Well, Pong isn't really Atari. That's a little pre. But I'm saying a game of that level. You play Intergalactic or whatever. Pong's a little too whatever. But no, I wouldn't enjoy Pong. But Atari, Spider Fighter, and Pitfall.

I like that stuff. And television is better graphics. You had to pick a company. But I'm not saying those are the greatest of all time. Here's what I'm saying. Favorite versus greatest of all time is two different things. If most played unit right now, I would say my PS5, my Switch Mini, or whatever the new Switch is, whatever the fuck it's called. And then my Steam Deck get the most, they get the most traction out of me right now

but greatest system i would hand it to you know you got it the nes you know atari sega genesis i mean playstation one i'm gonna give it to one of the things that like undethroned everybody else you're giving it to like the johnny unitas like you changed the game the bobby or you're like? The Big David's better. I can think of... PlayStation 5 is going to be the greatest machine you've ever played. I can think of four systems that I can remember that changed

the fucking game where I was like, holy shit. It was Atari 2600, Nintendo Entertainment System, which is probably the biggest of all of the ones I'm going to name. That set the world in motion. Sega Genesis, because Sega Genesis managed to temporarily dethrone Nintendo. Yeah. And then PlayStation fucking dethrone Nintendo.

See, I... There was no other... PlayStation was supposed to be a Nintendo system, and Nintendo fucked up the deal with Sony. Wow. Really? Yeah. Because they got their dicks kicked in during the GameCube and Wii era. They were doing it a little bit.

I had the 64 as a loyalist because it had Star Wars games on it when it launched. I think 64, and maybe this is just your age and how it all happened, though. I mean, I think I would give it to Nintendo just because it made the world of video gaming in my mind. Atari and all that, I understand. But Nintendo. But I think Nintendo 64 was what felt like we hit warp drive into the future. I think it's one of the worst systems ever. Really? Yes.

That's crazy to me. In hindsight, when I first got it, I liked it because it was, let me tell you what I hate about 64. Like Goldeneye, Mario 64, Mario Kart, like those classics. Goldeneye was amazing. Star Mario Kart, like those classics. Goldeneye was amazing. Star Wars Rogue Squadron was amazing. I remember playing Shadows of the Empire and running around in a first-person shooter, shooting stormtroopers.

I was like, holy shit. Mario 64 is incredible. Mario 64 is great. Mario Kart 64 is what, like, Super Nintendo said it emotionally, but Mario Kart took it. I didn't like Mario 64. I recognize that it's a great game. I'm not taking anything away from it, but I didn't like the game. I didn't like...

That is why... That was my biggest gripe with the Nintendo 64, in hindsight, and I didn't realize it at the time when I was experiencing it. I got Ocarina of Time as a masterpiece. I was just about to say, I'm going to take this TV and smash you when I was experiencing it. I got Ocarina of Time as a masterpiece. I was just about to say, I'm going to take this TV and smash you in the head with it. Saying it's one of the worst of all time is insanity. Well, I'll tell you why.

I'll tell you why. Because there's so many other shitty ones. One of the worst, let me rephrase. Let me reframe. Dreamcast? Like, suck my dick. Dreamcast was Dreamcast is renowned as one of the greatest systems ever made but you fucking just didn't that just didn't do as well as it should have that's probably true like you had the technology but yeah so it didn't do well but uh i'll say this about n64 uh i didn't realize it at the time. N64. Donkey Kong 64. You're so dumb.

That's one of the worst things I've ever heard. No, no, no, no, no, no. Donkey Kong 64 is, it's okay. But like the, wait, I'm going to give you an analogy. Just if you'd shut your fucking mouth for a second. Star Fox. Star Fox was way cooler on SNES. It was way more impressive.

But it had the 3D polygon thing going. Yeah. On SNES, it was like, what the fuck it had the 3D polygon thing going. Yeah, on SNES it was like, what the fuck? On 64 it was like, yeah, okay. Let me tell you what N64 is. N64 is the band

doing the fifth album where you're like, hey guys, some of their best songs on this but overall this does not hit as a whole as a whole the way the first few albums do i get that's what n64s dude n64's library n64's library was uh can somebody look this up i think it was i think it was a total of it's it's in the hundreds of games. In the hundreds. PlayStation 1, I believe, hit somewhere in the ballpark of 4,000 titles released for it.

Now, if you're making an argument that quantity is what... N64, well, but here's the other thing. N64 focused entirely on 3D polygon games. They abandoned almost entirely anything side scrolling anything two-dimensional which that system would have shined at doing uh instead they made lesser than versions of 3d polygon games that his system is nowhere near as powerful as a playstation uh the cartridge is its achilles heel because nintendo was so fucking snotty that they didn't, they will be different or whatever. They fucked it up for the developers.

And I didn't like the shift when all of a sudden, all of my favorite characters like Mario, earthworm, Jim donkey, whoever were suddenly in these 3d worlds. I didn't care for that. And the fact that they did that and completely abandoned the other stuff, I was like, this is... That I can understand.

And it doesn't age well. Those games are not fun to play anymore. Oh, suck my dick. We could play fucking Goldeneye right now and it'd be awesome. Goldeneye, Goldeneye. I literally played it last week. It's terrible. No, I mean, I played it last week too. Goldeneye's still kind of fun if you're

like drunk with some buddies. Bro, it always hits. How many titles for the 64? It says that there's 388 licensed releases. 388 licensed releases. How many releases for the PS original OG PlayStation? How many of those games are good?

Oh, dude, so many. So many, dude. Shmups alone on the PS1. Blow anything. I feel like PS1... Dude, here many. So many, dude. Shmups alone on the PS1. Blow anything. I feel like PS1... Dude, here's what PlayStation did. PlayStation was like, we're going to do some perfect arcade ports, guys.

We've got the ability to do it now. Let's take some of your favorite games from the arcade, like Raiden or whatever, and we're going to port them right over and give you the arcade experience. Nintendo did none of that with the 64. Their hubris was so fucking out of control. They fucked Sony over.

They fucked Sony over. Don't embellish, DeRosa! They fucked Sony over, and Sony was like, well, then go fuck yourselves. We'll do it on our own. I don't think I realize that. They're idiots.

I feel like the Switch has really caught them back up in a way, like they're back in the conversation. But I feel like from GameCube, even through Wii, because Wii was one where they were like, look, you can wave the wand. And I was like, I don't fucking want a bowl. I don't want to do Wii Olympics. I want to play real... When you had to play a real video game and you had the weird remote...

Wii was a temporary phenomenon. It was a game changer it was the first time i had ever seen do we got a number um it says 4k across i got pretty spot on 3,289 okay yeah all right the guy knows stop questioning so when it comes to video game numbers. But the Wii, I'd never – that I could remember. I had never seen people line up for a game console in my life. I had never seen that. That was like the virality that Oculus is kind of grabbing now where like there would be a viral viral clip of someone throwing their remote and hitting the TV. It's almost like advertising for them.

You can destroy your TV. It changed the way you... I want to fucking sit on the couch and be a fat piece of shit and play a game. And then it immediately went away. It was like PlayStation and I think PlayStation and PlayStation Move and then Xbox did the

Kinect and nobody gave a fuck about motion controls. PlayStation 5 is really that impressive? Have you played it yet? Look, they're both the Xbox is more as far as I understand the Xbox is the closest

to PC gaming you can get with a console. So I'm playing Resident Evil 4 remake on xbox right now and i i looked it up online and side by side videos everything the xbox experience for for that game is as good as graphically as you can get which i'm excited about because resident evil 4 is one of my favorite video games of all time yeah uh so i wanted the best experience ps5 i find um is a little more exciting because the controller there's like a thousand or ten thousand or some stupid amount of vibration variations in it so like and then the audio aspect of the controller

like when the game games that are fully designed for the PS5, they really draw you in. I heard that the PlayStation with their new controls, they can do heat and cooling. Is that true? That I don't know. That'd be pretty cool. It's just going to be a full-blown vibrator at some point.

The PlayStation is going to make you cum. But the Xbox is a powerhouse with Game Pass and everything. I mean, it's like you can't fuck with it. Was it PS2 that started, like, if we're talking about how you changed the game, was it PS2 that was the first system with, like, you can play with your friends in a different house? I remember playing, like, Socon Navy Seals. I don't know.

I felt like I started to see that all happen with PS3. Was it 3 maybe? But I... I want to go with you. It could have been. I was pretty late to the game and all that stuff. I had the N64, like I said,

because I was a Nintendo loyalist. And also they had these great Star Wars games that were exclusive. And then I still stuck with them and I got the GameCube. The GameCube I still think is a great system. That shit sucked. It was very child heavy, right?

It was like geared towards kids. And those little discs were so stupid. Yeah, because Resident Evil 4 came out on GameCube exclusively first. Okay. GameCube was when they finally started to be like grown-ups. Because I remember being very childish, and then there was GTA over on PlayStation. Yeah, they didn't have anything like- Kill people and fuck people and rob and steal. I think GTA eventually went to game. Very childish, and then there was GTA over on PlayStation. It was like, I don't know. They didn't have anything like...

Kill people and fuck people and rob and steal. I think GTA eventually went to game. Eventually. Yeah. I might be wrong. I don't know. I don't know if it was just ours or if it was all of them, but our game was purple. Were they all purple?

Yeah. Well, mine was purple. Yeah. No. A lot of variations. I think the one I have now is purple. I mean, it did look cool as a cube, but I was like, I don't fucking really care. I'm playing Spider-Man on PS4 right now for the first time, just years later.

Yeah. And I read that they were like, and I think that's a fucking masterpiece. Which one are you playing? Spider-Man. I think it's just like Spider-Man. Miles Morales on PS5 is insane. So I played that one and Morales on PS4 and I think that Manhattan and the swinging

and the frames per second, all that shit already looks amazing and the article I was reading was like, PlayStation 5 blows that out of the water and I'm almost like,

I don't even understand how you could. Like, how much better can these graphics get? That's why it's funny how easy the change, how you can't comprehend how it could be better.

I remember doing that with HD when HD first came out. People were like, go to 806. It's way better. It doesn't look any different. I've seen steel. Now you go back to San Francisco. It's like watching underwater. I've seen footage from racing games where I can't

tell if it's real or not. That's fucking crazy. On Xbox, in Resident Evil 4, you can see the sheen on his hair. Like, you can see the shininess of his hair. I don't know. It's fucking wild. Can you imagine the Kumail Nanjiani joke where he's talking about Call of Duty or something like that? And I forget where Kumail's from, but the game takes place in his hometown.

And he's like, they've got every hair, individual hairs bouncing as he runs, but all the signs in the town don't speak the right language. He's like, that's not the language. Like, how are you this precise? And that's not the language we speak. That's funny. We're not going to learn your culture. We're just going to be able to know how to make your hair look good.

That shit is. I feel like I feel myself slowly slipping back into gaming because I did it as a kid, and then I kind of stopped, which I didn't because I would have just been like a Twitch streamer from the very beginning and probably been a million, billion dollars richer. Yeah. But I can feel myself. I'll go home and play video games for like six hours, and I'm like, whoa.

Yeah. I sometimes feel like I should be streaming but why not yeah i just feel like especially you can do some old school shit for like the older guys who want to watch there's just so much of it out there already and it's just so hard if you did like if you did some comedy with it at the same time and i know i i have a i have a video game i have an idea that i am gonna do and it's not it could be a streaming thing it could also not be a streaming thing i'll tell you about it after okay but uh but but i do want to do something in the video game space i just felt like going being yet another guy that goes on twitch and streams and goes ask me ask me anything.

I was just like, there's enough of it out there. There's enough people doing it. But there's a way to differentiate that. We'll talk about that. But yeah. Yeah. So. Would you go blank?

Yeah. Well, I'm just, you know, we talked about TasteBuzz. We talked about, you know, I'm thinking if there's anything else that you know around the road touring whatever yeah um and the sandwich the sandwich shop yeah is that i have to talk about it i don't know i feel like we have to i'm interested i i had it for the first time at the seven o's party it was good it's genuinely i was so i'm so nervous consuming someone's passion in front of them and what if that's and And you were like, I want to watch you eat it. I was like, fucking shit.

How about that asshole eating the peanut butter and jelly? Who asked you if there was peanuts in it? Mattern? James? That's so funny. We've been talking about that for like weeks now. I don't think I know. James is great.

He's great. That's so funny. Is there peanuts in this? You're eating peanut butter, dickhead. No, no, no, no, no. He didn't eat. He said, is there anything on the tray I might be allergic to? And he goes, I have a peanut allergy.

And I said, well, there's a peanut butter jelly sandwich on there. He, I think something touched. Oh, I thought he was eating. He like took a bite of it. No, no, no, no, no, no. He had peanuts in his hand. He's like, it's peanut butter jelly. If you have a peanut allergy, like, yeah, you can't even whiff it.

So there you go, being all hard on the kid. But is this the new, this is the new water, by the way? Is this the new liquid? No, that's booze. Oh, pirate water. Everyone thinks it's water. We might have. Well, it's because it says water on it.

Yeah, no. Well, liquid death really fucked you up. That never would be water if it wasn't liquid death. We partnered up with the four local people. So this is 10% alcohol. It's 16 ounces jesus two dollars what is see you later uh it is four different flavors it's uh like all all you know it's like a truly uh no well yeah it's not like a yeah it's not it's not like just plain it's

all flavored though it's not just like um it's not just like seltzer it's like a malt flavored with sex on the beach bahama mama margarita and miami vice so it's all for you know brown bag in it and so you get a margarita it's a canned margarita yeah yeah pretty much got it yeah that's awesome yeah and it i mean it it says 10 alcohol by volume you have like one of those and you're like i'm i'm almost there i would drink one but i got shit to do yeah you still booze right you're one of the oh one of the last few out there you guys gotta hold on i ain't going down it's too fun why does anybody stop i don't understand the hangovers started to kill me i haven't like fully stopped but not fully but in practice basically yeah but like we went to when we went to amsterdam with bird like i can still get out to kill me. I haven't fully stopped. Did you quit? Not fully, but in practice, basically, yeah.

But when we went to Amsterdam with Bird, I can still get out there and do it. But the everyday, a few times a week, just go out and fuck up.

Yeah, that I get. Yeah, I get it. You can't have that. I'll have a few espresso martinis. I like a lot of those. I've been drinking those forever. But I'm not the type

who's going to go home and just whack a six-pack and be like... No, no, no, no. I've never been that kind of drinker either. The most I do at home is maybe a couple glasses of wine with dinner but you still like that wine that wine goes fast i'll be like i'll have a glass of wine and i'm like i'm on the second bottle yeah i live alone though too so like drinking at home is not a hard thing

for me to avoid you know like it's not that fun but you still go out and fucking throw them back like 20 drinks i'm single so it's like you like 20 drinks? I'm single, so it's like you know, it's kind of hard not to. Right. Are you on the apps? Fuck no. I don't need that bullshit. These bitches just come to me. That's not what I meant.

That's not what I said. But I know how to have a conversation. These bitches flock to me. Ha ha ha. No, I just, you know, I live in New York. You meet people left and right. And you know how I know how to have a fucking conversation. You go up to women at a bar?

Are you a goddamn predator? I don't need to. You get thrown in jail for that. No, no, no. I don't need to approach anybody. Once again, bitches. These bitches come to me. No, I don't mean it like that.

I just mean like, no, I just mean like. Friend of a friend, you go to a party, you get a news. Dude, I'm a stand-up comic. Next thing you know, you're inside them. I mean, I do stand-up comedy. I own a bar. I work in entertainment. I podcast.

Pussy. You meet people. Pussy. I make sandwiches. I'm just saying like you. Pussy. There's no shortage of opportunities to meet other human beings is my point that's why i've always said i'd like you

know because everything is work with us where it's like where'd you meet that person like that person i'm at work and then yeah then also too you have like you see your friends and friends also do you have your hangouts you have places like i live in the lower east side i have places that i that i go to and you go and you meet people and you know like it's like fuck you they just like oh my god you're joe de rosa i want to suck your dick it's just how it goes to this guy some guys are they got it like that get me canceled i'm trying to get oh i, oh, you know, I'm the player. I don't mean it like that. Those things are so fucking bad for you.

It's unbelievable. It's like looking at fucking TikTok. Eight dates a week. It's like, what the fuck is wrong with that? Dude, I can't think of anything. No offense to anybody in the room on the apps. I know we got some young people but i can't think of anything worse for you than reducing yourself and reducing somebody else to a series

of bullet points and i don't care how much people think it hastens a process i don't care how much people think it cuts bullshit out of them all of that stuff is part of life and it's part of what a human connection is made out of. You can connect to a human being that you never in a million years thought on paper you could ever have a connection with. Those apps will alleviate the opportunity for that. Some processes shouldn't be hastened, particularly the person you're going to spend most of your time with also do you want to appreciate something do you want to appreciate a person that you are with well you know yeah you got to go through some trial and error that that's what creates appreciation i think seeing someone you could read the bullet points and be like yeah they're good but you see someone how they like behave at a bar, how they order a drink, how they're with their friends.

You can get much more of a vibe off of someone that way than answering, oh, it's my favorite movie. Not to mention, too, think about the mental damage it's doing to people, the amount of people, male and female, that are misrepresenting themselves on these apps, that are lying about how they look, that are filtering their photos, all this stuff. You hit three, four of those in a row. Think about what that does to your trust of other people. Yeah. And what your assumption of what another person's intentions may or may not be. It's bad for you. Yeah.

It's fucking bad for you. And look, if you live in the middle of – we're losing the audience. If you live in the middle of bumfuck Idaho or something like that, and you're like, hey, man, what do you want from me? There's not a lot of opportunities out here to meet people. I'm certainly not going to pick up on people at the Bonefish Grill or whatever chain you live near. That, to me, is a little more understandable but people doing this that live in new york city yeah or los angeles or or they love it in la are

you on raya no get away from me um raya is raya is the one too where it's like it's almost like with twitter when like the minor league baseball player everyone got a check mark yeah raya was the exclusive thing and it's like oh fame the guy who djs at the irish pub is on raya how the fuck did that i mean it's just yeah yeah like you know you live in a major city what are you doing dude get out in your city like experience your city go and meet people like like sorry there your life is not a fucking job interview man you you you can't just tick boxes it takes time it takes effort if you think swiping your way into true love is the answer you deserve to be alone for the rest of your life. And I stand on that. Ending right there.

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