KFC Radio - Thank God Johnny Knoxville Chose Jackass Over SNL Ft. Kelly Stafford & Kevin Hart + Nelly

Episode Date: February 10, 2022

- Nelly accidentally posted a video of him receiving oral on IG... during our interview with him - Pastor Brian Suave is an a**hole, but he may have a point - the new Jackass is amazing and Johnny Knoxville chose Jackass over SNL - Howie Mandel posted a video of a dog with an ALARMINGLY large penis - nobody is watching the winter Olympics and the people who are saying the nuclear power plants are cooling systems are annoying - AITA - Video Voicemails - Broken arm excuse - Jackie tests the under the shirt method - Raptors fans - Amazing interview with Kelly Stafford on dating the backup quarterback to make Matthew Stafford jealous in college, prepping for this Sundays big game, Matthew Stafford skipped Kylie Jenner's Party, throwing the pretzel at a fan, and much much more. - Kevin Hart and Nelly on their new series The Real Husbands of Hollywood, Sean White, Rams and much more (FT the "ooh no" when he posted the video) ------------------- Subscribe, Rate, Share, and Leave a Review! ------------------ -------------------Subscribe to our youtube: barstool.link/KFCRADIO ------------------------- ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Timecodes: 0:00 - Nelly posting nudes during our interview 00:09:27:14 - Pastor Brian Sauve 00:26:46:02 - Jackass is the best 00:41:49:00 - Howie Mandel's giant dog dick post 00:51:39:21 - Winter Olympics and the nuclear plants 01:06:00:26 - AITA 01:33:25:25 - Voicemails 01:51:47:14 - Kelly Stafford Interview 02:07:56:26 - Kevin Hart & Nelly Interview ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Baked By Melissa: Go to https://barstool.link/BakedByMelissaBSS to order your Valentine’s Day gifts now. Betterhelp : Go to https://barstool.link/BHKFC for 10% off your first month Napjitsu: Go to https://barstool.link/napjitsuKFC for 30% off of your first purchase TODAY. Sling : Go to https://barstool.link/barstoolsling to sign up now and try it free Would: Shop Would at https://barstool.link/WouldKFC or at your local CVS.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Subscribe to the podcast, KFC Radio on YouTube. Bang. Eat that six-pound dog if I got to keep his cock after. What? What did you just say? Wait, what did you just say?

All right, so if there was a genie, there's a magician. It's another edition of KFC Radio on the Barstool Sports Network. It's Feidelberg and Clancy where you are here to fuck around. We got our new special microphones that allegedly allow us to bang the table. Yeah, we're going to fuck your world up. So I hope that's true because now I'm really going to fucking bang the tables. I am back in studio. We got our Thursday episode coming up.

That means he got Am I the Asshole? Of course, video voicemails. We got a couple interviews, including one with Kevin Hart and Nelly, which I was excited about. I mean, Kevin Hart's always been an amazing guest for us. He's a super mega star name. He's always been gracious enough to come on. So he's always been gracious enough to come on so he's always a highlight and then as like a 90s and 2000s rap fan nelly get these guys together

i was always i was already excited for the interview for that reason and boy do i have an entirely different reason to be excited about it now yeah one of this is the interview itself was kind of a dud yeah straight up not. Not to throw shade on anybody, but the... Well, actually, it's not even... No, it's justifiably a dud because we interviewed

Nelly and Kevin Hart and it was via Zoom and they were doing a press junket and it's kind of like, ah, that was... It was awkward. We were stepping on each other.

They were telling inside jokes. They weren't really engaged. They were talking to each other. We couldn't even hear them. We couldn't hear them. So I was like why do they even you know why even bother doing that we find out as we were doing the interview like right in the middle of the interview nelly had a sex tape begin to go viral that somehow got posted to his instagram so on his instagram story is just a close-up of some girl sucking a huge dick.

And I'm so mad that that interview wasn't just like 30 minutes later because there is nobody, no podcast better on the planet Earth to have that conversation. If Nelly and Kevin Hart would be open about it, we could have a real discussion about a sex tape going viral on your Instagram. I would guess they wouldn't be they wouldn't be but if if if they could and if they would we would be the fucking guys to do that but unfortunately we didn't hear about it till afterwards but that made for an even better moment when we were like oh wait a minute that's why nelly was looking at his phone that's why

they were distracted so we go back and look at the tape and nelly's reaction to learning that he has straight up his his dick or somebody's dick getting absolutely fucking sucked just right on his instagram so have you seen video or anything i just saw one picture black oh you haven't seen it no no i mean it's got nelly up in the top corner and it's a big was that actually on his Instagram story? I mean, unless someone, like, while we were on. I have a theory. You know, I have my tinfoil hat on.

They're promoting this new show, Real Husbands of Hollywood. They've got some salacious shit. I mean, if you're down with it, and you're already, like, a superstar. Is his wife on this show? And does this woman look like his wife? I don't know. If it's not his wife, it's probably a problem. But, I mean, this girl is just absolutely sucking this dick.

And it's just got Nelly up in the corner, and that's his fucking Instagram story. And it's just some deep throat dick sucking going on. And Nelly, in the middle of our interview, looks down at his phone and just goes, Oh, God! Yo, I think he was younger than that. I think he was like 14 when he started winning the next game. Man, listen, man. Oh, God. I love that you were just going to try to lie about the Olympics like that, dude.

With that Nelly voice, like, Oh, God! I want that to be like a drop, like a sample in his next song. Like the chorus, the song should be called, oh, God. And then the chorus is just Nelly going, oh, God. I mean, he would. And then after that, you know, Kevin laughs. He shows it. He looks at it.

He shrugs. And he's like, okay. The level of money and freedom and confidence that Nelly must have to just look at that and go, oh, okay. I guess that's happening. See, because I found him to be rather combative in the interview. And I thought that was because you kind of challenged him on rap to start. Which is ridiculous, by the way. Trying to tell me that rappers aren't, like, known to be cocky and arrogant and boastful.

It's like, yeah. It is like, it's what, that's also kind of like just the way the world is. Well, it was just something that's the kind you consume. Like, yeah, but it's the kind of, and I guess this is the point Nelly was making. It's like, yeah, it's the kind that's played on the radio, but I understand there's sad rap. I understand there's like. If you were to talk about generally speaking. Yeah.

Rap is not like, you know, introspective, self-deprecating guys. Get the fuck out of here. It is about grandiose. Right. Grandiose. How do you spell that? How do you say that? Grandiose.

Grandiose. Okay, that's right. But yeah, he definitely was like pushing back on that. But then we like ask him like about like, are you rooting for the Rams? Are you Rams fam? And he was like he's like i'm not letting two white boys take my bag what does that mean well but then that all

makes sense because he's like well yeah if you're on edge thinking about like well wait a minute i have my dick on my yeah i don't think right now i don't think i was stealing your bag bro yeah i don't think anything you said that interview like, like, I like the Rams, could have fucked up your day any more than a dick on your Instagram, dude. Yeah, I mean, it made a lot more sense that some of it was a little, like, disconnected. Even Kevin was like, what are you talking about? Kevin Hart was like, just answer the fucking question. But yeah, I guess if, you know, half your brain is thinking, like, did I post that? Did my wife post that?

Was I hacked? Was that, is that revenge porn? What's going on? And then I'm asking you questions about fucking verses or whatever. But that, the actual, like he was, as much as that might have affected the interview, the actual initial

reaction of just like shrugging and being like, I said it was like he forgot to put the garbage out this morning. It was recycling. I like to say like I wouldn't care about New Zealand Leet. It's something that's been threatened to all of us before. But I don't care who you are.

You definitely have a moment of like, you're embarrassed. I'd stop an interview. Sure. An interview I clearly wasn't having fun in. Right. I'd stop that. I got a crisis to handle right now. Sorry, guys.

We got to go deal with an emergency. What is it, Nelly? My dick's on fucking Instagram. But, you know, oh, God. got to go deal with an emergency right what is it nelly my dick's on fucking instagram but you oh god i mean i i that i want that to be like in the meme hall of fame of just like anytime you check your phone and something's wrong oh god it was an amazing moment so you'll you can you know the interview like we said not that great but when you imagine so now like gonna do a little like role playing cosplaying if you will while you listen to the interview later in the show, imagine that's what's going on the whole time. And it probably becomes wildly entertaining.

Yeah. We're talking about the Olympics. We're making fun of BET. We're talking about verses and comedy. That was funny. And the whole time, he tried to get us asking us if we have BET. Yeah.

And I lied. And I said, yes, like a liar. So that, along with our Kelly Stafford interview coming up later one of the greatest interviews we've had who was Matthew Stafford

I called him Matt a few times because I thought Matthew was just her thing yeah no apparently it's a big thing not Matt, Matthew as soon as the interview got over I went to her Instagram and like the first post

the post was Matthew not Matt yeah I did I slipped in a few masks I was like I was going back and forth I didn't know what to call her because she was saying Matthew Instagram and like the first post was Matthew, not Matt. Yeah. Yeah. I did. I slipped in a few masks. I was like, I was going back and forth. I didn't know what to call her. Right. She was saying Matthew. I thought maybe that's very clearly a Matthew thing.

Bro, if I was Matt, if I was Matthew, I'd for sure go by Matt. I don't know. Matthew's a mouthful, Matt. Matt is, Matt's kind of a scumbag. What? Yeah. Well, I mean, all your, your understanding of all names is based on like who you grew up knowing. Well, you know one guy who's named Matt. That's a scumbag. What? Yeah. Well, I mean, your understanding of all names is based on who you grew up knowing. Well, you know one guy who's named Matt.

That's what I'm saying. Matt's not a scumbag name. Matt kind of is a scumbag. Matthew is like a... For sure. I'm Matthew Stafford III. If he wasn't like a fucking... Everyone named Matt got suspended at least once.

That's for sure. No way. Matt is like a lacrosse player i think i picture matt wearing like like in middle school wearing like sweatshirts and cargo pants and smoking cigarettes and like like matt hung outside hot topic and harassed women that's that's what fucking Mads do, bro. How about Mads with one T? Those are like Greek scumbags or something. Mads with one T, their last names are

Sadin and they're great hockey players. So we'll get into an interview with Kelly Stafford who has completely swayed me. I am pulling hardcore for the Rams now. This is a ram's hand this is ram yeah this is ram's country this is the ram's fan um so we'll get into that we'll also

get into mi the asshole and uh and of course voicemails but i gotta i gotta start with this pastor brian dude this guy sucks so fucking bad this pastor who went viral for talking about how women are trying to seduce and how his Christian brothers need to fight the temptation. So this was the Twitter thread that went viral a couple days ago. A brief thread of, I don't even know what exhortation is. Sing and exhortate. Loudly exclaim. Cool. A brief thread of loudly exclaiming to my Christian brothers in light of the absolute tsunami of sexual temptation they face every day.

Brothers, you have no choice but to live in a world. That's kind of good. I kind of nailed that. Absolutely. Emphatically urging people. Brothers, you have no choice but to live in a world where some of your professed Christian sisters parade their bottoms and breasts in front of you. If you are a grown man that says bottoms about other adults, you're a fucking creep. You're a fucking creep. So he goes on i know this is the world we have no choice to live in

no choice but to live in because every time i give common sense exhortation to christian sisters concerning modesty things that would have been uncontroversial obvious uncontroversially obvious to most christians living from his own ancestry this response their response is absurd ladies send pornographic videos and images to me in my direct messages. They quote tweet my tweets with wildly inappropriate pictures of themselves. They curse and rage and say all sorts of utterly disgusting things. Bro, I am just going to copy and paste this thread and post it. Some of these women. That's what fucking happens.

Some of these women are even professed Christians. They will dress in clothing so tight as to be akin to a skim coat of latex painted over their most private areas. They'll leave little to the imagination. Some of them have no idea what they are doing. Others know full well. Either way, you and I will have to deal with it. How? First, by grace and through faith, you need to determine that you are not okay with a wandering eye. You are not okay with pornography of any kind ever. You simply will not tolerate it, whatever provocation is given you. Be as radical as you must

to kill the lizard. Second, delight yourself in your wife. In Proverbs 5, one of the answers to the temptation of illicit sex is good sex. So be intoxicated with your wife. Quote, drink water from your own cistern. Flowing water from your own well. Third flowing water from your own well third don't give

in to the bitter and despairing cynicism that ultimately makes it easy to throw off responsibility for yourself and cast it off to the sins of the world yes the world is full of women who have forgotten their face of their fathers yes it is unprecedented yes you live in a time when you cannot take your guard down even for a moment yes it's not fair kind loving or kind, loving, or reasonable. Yes, the cowardly church has made it far worse by refusing to rebuke the sins of the common women. Yes to it all. And yet, you go and be a glory. You go out armed with the spirit of God,

a band of brothers, and the scriptures, and refuse to be manipulated by any of it. Be a glory. I feel like I'm getting a pep talk. Be a... Let go! Be a man. Tell him, Brian!

Be a man with high walls and self-control. A man who can't be dragged into the tar pits by any passing whore. No matter how loud the call. Be what they are so often not being and love your enemies. Love them enough to honor them, even when they cannot even be bothered to honor themselves. And when you fall, remember your father's mercy. How slow to anger. How he looks on Christ and pardons us.

And if you sin, repent quickly and freely and Christ-rememberingly. Your father is for you. He sent you an advocate and a helper, and he will see you through. Be strong and courageous. You are the glory of God. You know what? I don't know. We ready.

We ready. We ready for y'all. Tell them. Tell them. We ready. I'm never going to fuck again. Dude. This guy, I started out, I never actually read the full thread.

In the beginning, I was like, fuck this guy. By the end of it, I'm like, put your dick away. Go out there and be a glory. Be a man with high walls. Don't fall in temptation to the tar pits of whores put that dick away it's gone it's fucking john shit off let's go varus on these whole thing tucked up this guy never have i have i ever thought that fucking is as lame as I do right now after reading this guy's thread? Fuck fucking.

Fuck fucking. I actually thought going into it, I also hadn't read the full thread, but I thought, from what I've seen, he's making some points. And now that I've heard the whole thing, Pastor Brian knows what he's talking about. There's bottoms everywhere. Bottoms out. Dude, bottoms all over.

We talked about it with Don now. Too much ass out there. I can't look anywhere without seeing a bottom. I can't look anywhere without seeing a breast. It is... Breast. It is frustrating. Bro, it's a tsunami.

It's a tsunami of sexual temptation. That's a fact. He put it so perfectly eloquently. I have to find it real quick uh this is in pastor brian brian suave okay he had pretty funny that's named suave yeah um i mean he you know when he said it's absurd it's absurd it's absurd it's it's there's just too much pussy out there i'll say say it. There's too much pussy. There's no way you, like, the world is saturated with pussy. The average guy who used to just settle down or just, you know, deal, like, whatever he could get, marry, settle down, date, whatever.

Now you're on your Tinder, you're on your Swipes, you're on your this, you're on your that. Even the ugliest fucking guy in the world this dude brian suave is a preacher who has said he's inundated with dms of news dude he's like how can women won't stop talking dirty to pastor brian which again why i'm just copying pasting all he wants to do i'm gonna copy paste and pound off to all my quote brian suave his his twitter bio is christian pastor husband father of five and classical school founder and he's just drowning in internet pussy he can't stop it he's fighting him off with a stick and he's radical as you must to kill the lizard that's fucking real talk that's fucking real talk right there. I simply will not talk.

Every time I go out, every time a man goes outside, what's out there? Pussy. Boobs. Tits. Nipples. Hide the nipple. Put the nipple away. Put the pussy away. Put the boob away is a great put the nipple away with the new Adidas

ad campaign. Tits everywhere. Just a bunch of floppy, slappy tits. Middle-aged men shirtless is what it looks like. Put them away. It's a problem. You know what? Let's get some full coverage underwear back. Too many thongs. Too many cheeks out there.

It's impossible. You walk outside and it is, as Pastor Brian says, it is a tsunami of sexual temptation that the average guy can't handle. There's no way any guy out there with a pair of balls and a dick can go throughout his life in a regular way. We've said it time and time again.

We're off sex, and guess what? We're with Pastor Brian. We're killing the lizard. Yo, kill the lizard. I'm going to kill the fucking lizard. Kill the fucking lizard. Every time you go outside, oh, look go outside oh i'm a hot chick i want to fuck get out of here we're not doing it i'll tell you this much john i i i want to test myself as a as a christian brother walking in christ i want all you to send me nudes so that i can fight back and resist the temptation and prove to myself and Christ up above that I'll go be a glory

and that I'm going to kill the lizard. I actually do really hope. I want to retweet this thread, and I want to tag Asa and Abella and NoFaceGirl and Phoenix Maria and all the people that we know, and I just want them to flood him with pussy. You want to see a tsunami of sexual temptation? I'm going to show you, Pastor Brian. I want this to go through the whole OnlyFans community.

I want this to go through the whole porn community, and I want that thread to become a mockery. I just want people blasting off, pounding off. I don't. I don't. I know how hard it is. I know how hard it is, Pastor Brian. Every time Christy Mack

has to post a Mac Monday, guess who's gotta fucking go and find the bathroom? I'm like the anti-Superman. It's simply... I see. No Face Girl promotes an NFT. I'm like... She's trying to talk about crypto. I gotta go jerk off again.

No Face Girl, you gotta relax with the retweets, by the way. Some of us look at Twitter in public sometimes. It's crazy. Some of us have things to do. It's flat out inconvenient is what it is. I got to do my job. I got to take care of my kids. I got to do chores.

I got to run errands. I can't be looking at the endless tsunami of tits and ass in my life. It's simply a time suck. I got to go in the bathroom again and jerk off. And then I got to clean it all up again. I got to run around with a boner. I got to put ass in my life. It's simply a time suck. I gotta go in the bathroom again and jerk off. And then I gotta clean it all up again. I gotta run around with a boner. I gotta put it in my waistband. It's ridiculous! I'm just as...

It happens just as fast as Clark Kent to Superman. Where I go from fucking... I go the Hulk to Bruce Banner. Here, real quick. You wouldn't like me when I'm horny. But the fucking... This one right here is real talk.

This one is, yes, you live in a time when you cannot let your guard down for even a moment. Keep your fucking eyes up. Blinders on. No fucking puss. Head on a swivel. Yes, it is not fair, kind, loving, or reasonable. You're right.

It is the hardest time possible it's ever been to be a man. That's a true statement. No, that's a fact. That's a a dead ass fact we don't get to do whatever we want and people try to make us horny all the time and you know what it is you know what it is we live in an era you live in the hardest time it's ever been to be a man in human history everyone get that i think you're joking warrior i'm not joking but i'm not i'm not joking i'm not joking it's so fucking hard right now it's just because of how easy it's been

Historically speaking It's been impossibly easy The bar was really low I'm done with that I'm done with talking about the past I'm talking about the now It is so fucking hard to be a guy with a dick I've said it before on this show

But there's examples of people who have transitioned from female to male, and then they take the testosterone treatments, and they become a man, and they go, holy shit, I'm sorry. I never understood how fucking hard it is to handle this, because the shit that's going on inside here, it's impossible to control. And now we have to still be macho and manly,

and make the money, and be the breadwinner, and be the dad, and be the husband, and control the house, and do all that shit. But we also have to be we have to still be macho and manly and make the money and be the breadwinner and be the dad and be the husband and control the house and do all that shit. But we also have to be super sensitive and be an ally and be progressive and help and be a feminist and all that shit. And those two things don't exactly jive. And then all while that's happening, women now know women now know their worth more than ever. They are wielding they are wielding the power of the pussy like a goddamn Excalibur. They know exactly what they're doing with the internet. They know

exactly what they're doing with their texting, with their Instagrams. They are Tentresses and Sirens and it's a hard journey out here for a man who's just trying to stay on the straight and narrow. I love when we go off on a tangent where Kevin just had some stuff he needed to get off his cat.

Hypothetically speaking. Just trying to keep, you know, in a world where we used to just be able to joke about what we want to joke about and post all sorts of pictures and all sorts of asses and smoke shows and guessing this and posting that. And now it's like, you can't joke about this and you can't do that and you can't. It's impossible. It's impossible.

You at least got to meet us halfway. If we're going to do, if we're going to do, if like Me Too movement and the independent women movement and equality and all that's going to happen, well, then you've got to stop with the tsunami of sexual temptation. Because those two things don't jive. Well, I'm just done with it. Me and Pastor Brian, we're done with it.

We've explicitly stated it. We've got to go be a glory. I will be a glory. Be a glory and kill a lizard. I'm going to kill a lizard. Kill a lizard. And by the way, my lizard is the size of Godzilla, so it'll be a battle. That inner lizard. That inner lizard is just...

My lizard breathes blue fire, so he ain't going to go down easy. He ain't going down without a fight, let me tell you that much. It's going to be some King Kong versus Godzilla shit. King Kong is fucking Brian and God just trying to take down our lizard and we are fighting in the Pacific Ocean. We are throwing haymakers at each other. He's King Kong but like before whatever happened to

King Kong. Yeah, when he's just a fucking regular gorilla. He's a monkey. He doesn't have much of a shot. No. When it comes to God versus my dick, my dick's probably going to beat him. Dude, my dick spits literally nuclear fire, okay? You're not winning, God. Brian and God are not stopping this nuclear dick, okay?

But in spirit, I'm with Brian. I'm with him. I get it, man. It's fucking hard, dude. It is hard out here. Fucking hard. But man, this guy also sucks so much. What's his Patreon?

That guy sucks. Like, you have got to be such a dork to be this upset about sex. Yeah, just say you want to fuck little boys. Right? Why is it a long thread

for something that's probably like 100 characters? I like fucking kids. Seriously, just wait for this guy. You know what I love too? I love... Allegedly.

I don't even know that's allegedly. Because I'm the one alleging. What is that, 24 patrons? 24, I was going to say. Please tell me it's 24 patrons. That would be great. You know, and listen.

I would love for everyone to go drink from the fountain of their wife. I would love for everyone to bathe in the sex of the one woman they've chosen or whatever. The problem is that stops. Everybody would just fuck their wife and their husband if the husbands and wives stayed hot and kept fucking each other. But we don't do that. So everybody else spends on fucking everybody else.

It's super easy for Brian to just go, yeah, fuck your wife. Guess what? A lot of people out here, it's not that easy, Brian. Christ almighty. Be a glory. Kill the lizard. Get your baked by Melissa. Today's episode.

Today's episode is our last before Thanksgiving, before Valentine's Day. And so we've got our baked by Melissa. We got our little cutesy, what is it called? Cupcakes right here. A little assortment of. I like the pink ones. I don't know what's in them. That chocolate one is fucking delicious.

So Baked by Melissa is a perfect example of a modern woman who's out here doing it right. Right? She's using her talents and her skills with a female-owned business making these unbelievably baked pastries that people love. She's a mom, a baker, and the founder of Baked by Melissa. Her name is Melissa Ben-Ishay. I don't know how to say her last name. But she is an inspiration to all of us.

She's approved by KSDd radio and by pastor brian alike so uh everybody can get down with melissa because these treats are absolutely fire she has a new valentine's day assortment we're looking at it right here it's all chocolates and um and red velvets and uh pinks and swirls and it looks very pretty and it tastes even better and so it's a valentine's day assortment that kind of doubles. This is almost like getting a bouquet of flowers. Only better. But also you can eat it. It's almost like you can eat the flowers.

It's got decadent dulce de leche. It's a nice way to separate yourself. Everyone's going to get flowers. Everyone does the flowers. So go the extra mile. Do both. Absolutely. The list of what you need to do is ever growing because it's the hardest time in human history to be a man. And it's the hardest time in human history to be a man. To be a man.

And it's just – I'm going to eat another one. It's just really good. There's the dulce de leche. There's marshmallow, creamy milk chocolate, and they ship nationwide, and it's guaranteed to arrive fresh. You can choose your arrival date. I would recommend Valentine's Day. But also get it all next week. And it's also not just for Valentine's Day. But also get it all next week. And it's also not just for Valentine's Day.

It's also not just for women. You can get it for your guys. You can get it for your family members, your loved ones, your coworkers, whoever. They also have all sorts of dietary specific type treats where if you're vegan and no nut and gluten-free, all that stuff. So right now you can also add the limited edition Valentine's Day gift box set. You get a box and a card and you can add that to any assortment to make it the perfect

gift. It's the day after the Super Bowl so make sure you take care of this and you can stock up on all your Super Bowl on Sunday and then make sure Monday you take care of your girl and your loved ones with Baked by Melissa. So, go to bakedbymelissa.com order those Valentine's Day gifts

now. So, kill the lizard. By the way, speaking of the lizard, if anyone, which I assume is everyone in this room, hasn't seen Jackass yet, must see. God, I'm so fucking mad I was sick i i was saying how

that was going to be the first movie uh in years that i was like gonna be at opening night for it and i couldn't go if you've seen it speaking of the lizard segue it does make sense it opens with quite a lizard scene um dude i saw someone tweet you and say um i'm going in blind like i know nothing and i know nothing about this like or something like that like you know i haven't been spoiled yet like what do you mean in fact most of the movie is like redoing stunts which i didn't even put together seeing the movie until after when they're doing like side by sides of the old one that's great they're they're they're twit they're they're old things with a twist, but they've done something.

I mean, there's only so many ways you can fuck someone up. No, but you can keep doing it forever. If I can spoil something for you, remember on this show when we talked about, is it okay if I spoil a stunt for everybody? You can't spoil Jackass. You can't. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's not like a... That's why it's great. It's unspoilable. You could tell me that they put a pumpkin on someone's head and hit him in the head with a baseball bat, and I'm going to watch it and still laugh. There's one scene, the dark room scene with the snake. I literally thought I was going to have to get up and leave the theater.

Because of laughing so hard? I was in so much pain. If it didn't end when it ended, I was going to have to leave. Were you high for that? I was high for that. Yeah, I got to get high for this. For sure. Bro, it was so sick, dude. Is just like running around from a snake in a dark room

He doesn't know where it is No no no People are yes But there's not an actual snake But they make him think It's a pitch black room It's fucking unbelievable I forget their names

Who's the guy who has the best scared face? Where he's always... It's not Aaron. Aaron and someone else are my two favorites. I can't remember the other guys. How are the new guys? New guys are good. Yeah?

Yeah. They're not great, but they're good. Zach, I think, is the bigger new guy. I mean, I know there's Knoxville, Steve-O, Pontius. It's Poopy. Poopy? I don't know. Poopy, yeah.

Poopy's new. Poopy's new. His name is just Poopy? Poopy's the best new know. Poopy, yeah. Well, Poopy's new. Poopy's new. His name is just Poopy? Poopy's the best new guy, and then Zach's also a great new guy. But there's a jackass. One of the other guys is old. Camillo. Brian Dunn.

No, Ryan Dunn, he died, right? Yeah, he died. Dan Margera's not there anymore. That was what you were confused at, by the way. Dave England? You'd heard that at the end, there's a thing for Bam. It's Ryan Dunn. It's like a little forever thing for him.

Where is it? Hang on. It's Dave England. Yes, exactly. That's exactly who it is. So Dave England and Aaron are my two favorites. But the... Remember, we talked about it on the show.

I think we talked about it with Chaps, maybe when we were doing Dick Talk, how you can do whatever you want to a dick, to a flaccid dick. There's like... You run over with a car. I believe I compared it to a dick, to a flaccid dick. There's like... You run over with a car. I believe I compared it to a rat where it can fit into any hole.

Yeah, yeah. I mean, I could twist my flaccid dick like 25 times. Kevin, they mash their cocks. So thin and so small, they turn them into ping pong paddles. They have these two plastic, clear them into ping pong paddles. They have these two plastic, clear, see-through paddles. What? And then they screw on the ends so tight that their dicks just get fucking matched.

And they're like, it doesn't hurt at all. It's fine. It doesn't. It's crazy. You know that game where you have a paddle and you have the ball attached to it? Yeah. They're playing that with their fucking dicks. I mean, it's crazy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, we've said that. I think you could run over with a car. It would be fine. I think you could, like, step on it. Pawnee's just like, I don't know. It doesn't hurt at all, guys. The balls are, you know, terribly sensitive, and the dicks are indestructible.

Indestructible. I always knew it. Even I was a bit flabbergasted. Like, wow, that is a flat penis. It was the size of half of a paddleboard, a ping pong paddleboard. It's crazy, man. I love them. I love them.

How about that story that Knoxville chose Jackass over SNL? I saw that headline the other day. I didn't read the article. Neither did I. It's like, who cares? I mean, I guess if you were to think that if it was early 2000s, let's see, what does it say there? If it was early 2000s, that's actually a big deal

because that's like Will Ferrell SNL days. That's not like if you turn down SNL right now for something, like, of course, yeah, that makes sense. But if Knoxville was ever, if he was offered to do it in, you know, not the heyday, because the heyday is like the 90s with Farley and Hartman and Sandler and Rock and all that shit. But that early 2000s. But yeah. 2000s. So that's like, you know, the only other time that I would really like vouch for SNL and be like it was comedy greatness would be then.

And what I love about it is, again, I haven't really read the whole article I think Johnny Knoxville is a pretty funny guy. I don't think he's like you know I think that was an example of Johnny Knoxville and probably like his agent and manager and whoever knowing

their limits and knowing what they're good at and what they're not good at. You know where Johnny Knoxville's value is? It's not in writing little skits. It's in going to the fucking limits. Could you imagine him just like, it'd be funny, him doing more cowbell with Will Ferrell.

It'd be all right, but I'd rather watch him turn his dick into a ping pong paddle. I'd rather watch him demolish his friends with violence. He doesn't do it. Violence and poopy do it. But you know what I mean? I wonder, because again, turn his dick into a ping pong paddle. I watch him demolish his friends with violence. But you know what I mean? I wonder, because again, we kind of talked about it with Shane Gillis.

Shane kind of knew that he was never really the right fit, but he was like, fuck it, I'm going to do it. This is more money than I've ever made before. This is prestigious. I'm going to say yes. And I don't know exactly where Knoxville was in his career, but thank God that he and his manager and whoever were like, well, we're going to do this MTV thing over here

because this is where we're going to make our money. That surprises me. I'd have to read the article. I remember reading a GQ cover story on Knoxville. We were talking about he kind of just wanted to be famous, would do anything to be famous. Well, he had. It was MTV or SNL, so I be famous, would do anything to be famous. Well, he had, it was like MTV or SNL,

so I don't think it was like SNL or nothing. But it seemed like he arrived in LA with a new name and no money, is kind of how it was portrayed. And obviously, that doesn't seem to be the case. You think that he would have... No, no, no.

I just think, I believe that he was offered an SNL spot or whatever this is, but then it just seems like maybe the tale told to GQ wasn't quite accurate. It seemed like he had no other options. Okay, so that's not true. So he said on the Drew Barrymore show. His name's not Johnny Knoxville.

He said, I was really honored that Lorne offered me five minutes on the show each week to do what I wanted, and I had to choose. I was going to go on to an established control, established show where I had a little bit of control. At the end of the day, it's like, am I going to go into a situation where I have no control or am I going to bet on myself and bet on my friends and go in that direction?

And ultimately he bet on the ladder, which could have been a disaster, but luckily it worked out. I mean, I guess that makes sense. If you bet, you could still arrive to LA with nothing. If it did,

they didn't let that part out. They left it, they left they let that out they they made it seem like he had no like there was nothing out there for him no everyone it was all no doors closed i mean there's probably not i mean it's yes that's obviously contradictory if saturday night live is offering you something but uh it's i i wonder if it was risky, you know, and I'm sure in hindsight, he could maybe romanticize this and be like, we always knew we were going to be famous or whatever. Cause on the one hand you could think there,

this might not work cause it's just me and my dumb friends. But you know, there's, it's prestigious to be on Saturday night live, but it's still technically a dime a dozen. There's always a new cast member, right? What there's not a lot of are those guys

and and you know there's there's a couple new cast members but really if you think about it since they started it's only them and there's been there's other like daredevils and other youtubers and other people who like do dumb shit but it really hasn't become like a second and third generation of jackass guys no like it's kind of them and then like they were truly like a flash in the pan and i like to romanticize because i think it's the funniest thing ever but i think when this you know this now ends jackass forever is kind of over um i don't know if it'll be done again because especially the way the world is going like i just don't know if there's crazy motherfuckers out there doing doing it the way these guys did it. I think they also changed almost what it was to be a guy.

Absolutely. Pre-them, it was... When I think of 80s action stars, I guess Schwarzenegger is one. Although I think of him more 90s.

There was the action star era where it was the Lone Ranger kind of deal. Bruce was more average him more 90s but like i there was like the action star era where it was like the the lone ranger kind of deal like but like bruce was like they were more average looking dudes and then the 90s came and it was like everyone was a superhero right it was like shredded and like monsters that's what men were and then the 2000s and it was like dudes are like last guy like skater grungy and like also but like they. They also made it... They made being gay mainstream. There's so much dick touching.

Yes. They took a hockey locker room and made it. They combined a hockey locker room and a skate park. The camaraderie of a hockey locker room with the humor of a skate park. It was fucking unreal. They did more. This is going to sound crazy. The jackass guys hockey locker room with us the the humor of a skate park and it was fucking unreal they did

more this is gonna sound crazy the jackass guys did more for the gay movement for straight people than anybody like like in within the gay community there's certainly i don't know who it is but there are gay icons that were so much more important to like the gay the progressive movement for gay people but for straight guys who were like like before them it would be like i don't want to see your dick i don't want to see anybody naked like that's weird that's gay and then like they kind of come along and it's like okay well i don't know i think it's funny oh you think it's funny too okay then whatever we can teach those dicks we can touch each other we can fuck each other we wait what

uh jackass forever there's so much dick, it's wild. And it's just, but like everybody agrees that it's funny. So like all of a sudden, I remember just being like, oh, okay. It's just funny to like, I can look at your balls and touch your balls and slap each other and fucking touch each other and fight each other and wrestle each other and shit. And it's just funny. And it's not like, you don't have to be homophobic. I think they stopped.

I think they stopped homophobia within the straight community more than anybody in the gay community did. And it was just funny. And it's not like, you don't have to be homophobic. I think they stopped, I think they stopped homophobia within the straight community more than anybody in the gay community did. And it was on us. It was only straight people who could end homophobia. You're welcome.

You got to get the straights on board. You guys will be in your own community. It's the same thing with racism. Balls in our court. Exactly. White people are going to be the ones who get credit for ending racism.

You got to get the whites on board to end racism the same way that you had to get the straights on board to end homophobia. And that's what the jackass guys did. They said, it's okay. Dicks and balls. It's all good, man. Being gay is funny. I mean, being gay is inherently funny. It's just funny.

Dicks and balls are by far the funnier of genitalia. Yeah, for sure. Like, girls aren't doing funny shit with their pussies. Like, what's the female equivalent? No, that chick was funny. The one, I forget if it was a voicemail when you weren't on or not. The one who wouldn't stop talking with her pussy? No, I'm not on.

That's not funny. That's not funny. That was weird. Oh, hello. No, I don't like it, but you turn your dick into a fucking ping pong paddle and we're good to go. Mr. Pac-Man's hungry. I'll challenge any of the girls out there who think that they can be funny with their pussies. Leave a voicemail, video, whatever.

Prove me wrong. Show me if... Use that snatch. I don't know. I want my pussy to sound like this. I was going to say, this is what pussy sounds like when they talk? Sounds like a rover. Oh, hello. I've been hungry all day.

I'd like a sugary treat. Maybe a salty treat as well. Sounds like you're chewing on your tongue too. You sound like a... John's pussy voice is real weird. Don't worry about the blood. I bit my tongue. Oh, heaven, the Betsy.

Goodness gracious. I'm going to be like an octopus and strap myself to your face. What? Say what now? This is how sex works, dude. Don't pretend you don't know how to do sex. This is how I do sex.

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slash kfc uh get 10 off your help um i guess while we're on dicks, I just want to show you something real quick. Oh, boy. You going to show me your dick? Yeah. Can you go to Howie Mandel's Instagram page, please? What? Howie Mandel's dick? It's not Howie's, dude.

Howie wishes he had a cock like this. What? It's actually, it's honestly graphic. They might have taken it down. I think they took it down. Nope, never mind. No, they didn't. They didn't. It's honestly graphic. They might have taken it down. I think they took it down. Nope, never mind. No, they didn't.

Bottom left. Keep going. One more. Yeah. This is honestly graphic. Jackie, maybe look away. Six-pound Yorkie hung like a 600-pound horse? Oh, my God. That thing is swanging like a grand...

Look at his little tongue. Look at his little tongue while he's licking. Wait a minute, wait a minute. That is a massive cock on that dog. That's also... The coloring is obviously the weird red rocket, but that's a bizarrely Human dick on that dog

Yeah I know That is a human cock On a canine When he moves that leg It's like Cause you see it bounce around Cause you see it swinging But then you see it

Oh that's a dick Yeah you can see his dick And then it fucking Like right there Wait don't move it Don't move it Right there That looks like an uncut human cock

Yeah Uncircumcised human dick Is on that dog And did he say like Who, who's this dog? Who is it? Is it his? I don't think so. Just hashtagged it puppy.

Howie, why do you post shit like this? Not comment. Why do you post shit like this, Howie? It is a wild. That is. No, no, no. I'd fucking. That's right there.

I'd eat that six pound dog if I got to keep his cock after. What? What did you just say? Like. Wait, what did you just say? Wait, what did you just say? All right, so if there was a genie, there's a magician, right? You said I'd eat? I'd eat the dog.

You'd eat that dog if you got his dick out? If that dick magically went to my body afterwards, I'd eat that dog for that dick. For sure. For sure. Would you kill that dog? Yeah. Skin it. Cook it. Eat it. I don't want to skin it. I'd eat it dog for that dick. For sure. For sure. Would you kill that dog? Yeah. Skin it. Cook it. Eat it.

I don't want to skin it. I'd eat it with my hair and my skin. You have to kill it. You have to hit that dog in the head with a hammer. Oh, no. I'd shoot it. Okay. You have to take a gun.

Shoot that dog in the head. Yeah. Someone else will skin it, and you have to eat everything that's reasonably edible. I'd eat that whole fucking dog for that dick. And then you get that dick. Bro. I walk around. I'm like, that dick. And then you get that dick. Bro. I walk around. I'm like, you like my cock?

Oh, my God. That thing gets fully exposed. It's so. It is swanging, dude. It is a great. And you know what is just crazy? It's a massive penis. It's dragging on the ground almost.

You know how uncomfortable that tip is while it drags on the carpet? You think we're upset about how much bottles and rest are out there? Look at that. This dog is like, if I see one more thing that makes me horny, Pastor Brian, bring me to salvation, please. I am rubbing my dickhead raw on the floor here, dude. You know what I feel bad for is some other little six-pound Yorkie that he's going to try to fuck. Because that thing, that dog should go fuck an elephant.

That dog needs to fuck like a buck, like a big-ass deer. Some little Yorkie's like, oh, yeah, you're cute. Let me just pop that ass out for you. Wait, no. It's as big as his tail and his legs. When that dog fucks another Yorkie, Yorktown, it comes out of her mouth. Absolutely. That's one of those anime porns where it comes out the stomach and shit.

Every time he fucks, it's a murder. Probably. That dude leaves a trail of sad owners. That dude... That dude is putting the local vets out of business.

The pound. Like, we got no dogs to kill because Thor over here keeps fucking them out their mouths. I'll actually... You know what? You know what?

It's unfortunate. I bet... I bet... that dog has done something. I bet a human has done something. I bet a human has done something to that dog. Yeah? Yeah. I just don't think that a dog has a hammer like that

without, like, word getting around town. Remember when Rhea's dog was Red Rocket all the time? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I remember thinking that's an actual problem. I don't know what I would do. You can't have that around kids and company and stuff. And that was a normal sized dick. If you have that dick, the only way that dog

can like... That dog needs to join the circus. That dog needs to fuck humans. The big cock canine comes trotting in with the bearded lady And fucks her mouth That's exactly what I'm saying The only person who can take a dick like that

Is the bearded lady That's exactly what I'm saying That is a carny dog And that needs to be You know Put Are you looking up average dick size of dogs? And if you're not

Let's do it I mean yeah We might as well I would say the average size of a Of a six pound dog dick is three inches. Six and a half? No, centimeters, centimeters, centimeters. Oh, oh.

I was like, I don't know, dude. So, yeah, I think that's like three inches, six centimeters. I live in a region of the country where the dogs have the littler dicks, then. But I think 24 inches is, you know, so if 6 is 2, then 24 is 8. So that's, I mean, I guess that's the Yorkie with the 8-inch dick. A dog can have a 10-inch dick? Yeah. Get out of town.

We just saw, dude, what do you mean? Get out of town. We just saw proof of it. That one's a 10-inch? Yeah, yeah. Yes. Yeah, you're right. It was scraping the ground.

You're right. You're right. That thing. It has little 10-inch legs and a 10-inch cock. You need a map quest to get to the end of that thing from the base. There's like a turn. The GPS is going to interrupt you. Stay right. You know what's happened to that dog right there while he's licking and stumbling?

Because all of the blood in his body, all of the blood in his tiny body is going to his dick. He probably passes out every time he gets a hard-on. Because there's no goddamn blood in his body. All of the blood in his tiny body is going to his dick. He probably passes out every time he gets a hard-on because there's no goddamn blood in his brain. His lungs aren't pumping because all of his bodily functions are moving towards his dick. Holy Christ. How

about this? Okay, here's a fucked up question. Would you rather have a human micropenis or that exact exact dick like it's weird colored but you get that or a micro penis that's a fucked up question probably that i'm taking that dick dog a dog dick a thousand times out of a thousand that's fucking because you i mean imagine you're like why is it purple it took it from a dog shut up exactly picture this yeah you're either this or an acorn deal you bring a girl home for the first

time. She takes your pants off and she goes, whoa, whoa, what is that? And you go, listen lady, is it that or a micropenis? It's a dog's dick. Was it your first time? You ever seen a dog cock before? It's a little bit different. Now shut up. I mean, that's... What does it look like? It's a fucking Yogi's penis.

That is... An adult man. That's a weird looking dick, but way less weird than a micropenis. Yeah, for sure. It's... I mean, as a girl, Jackie, what would you prefer? Yeah. Like, if I don't know, it's a dog's.

Yeah, yeah. Well, let's just say... But it looks just like that. So you probably would say This human dick looks a lot like a dog dick But you don't have to know that it's actually I don't know that I would You prefer that?

Jackie's fucking dog dicks I would just be like Say you were in an acid attack once What? You were in an acid attack Yeah, What? You were in an acid attack. Oh, like, yeah, I have a mangled penis. Yeah, like... Well, you know what's weird?

I broke up with a girl, and she was so furious, she dumped acid on me, and most of it landed on my penis, and now you have this thing. You may think it's a dog's penis. It's not. It's an acid penis. It's a mangled human dick.

Don't worry. They do make, like, weird dildos and shit that are the dragon dicks and all that. Expensive too. Okay. Was it not on this show? Was it on? I was sure it was on this show.

It was on this show. We looked it up. Prices are pretty high. Yeah. I mean, if there's people out there. They'll just give away fucking dragon dildos that come in here. Oh, right. We did that.

If there's people out there who willingly buy like like, the dragon dildo, then there's people out there who will fuck the dog dick. Yeah. It's an icebreaker. Actually. Hey, what's up? Do, do, whoa. The archer.

Wait, let's try to find, see, like, wait, wait, wait, slow down. Slow down. Let's go. Like, bottom right corner there is kind of like that dog dick. Like, no, no, in the red boxes. Bottom right, yeah. That's kind of like that red dick. No, no, in the red boxes. Bottom right, yeah. That's kind of like that red dick. It's baldest.

You know? I bet you if we look through this, we could find a dick that's just like that Yorkie's cock. Yeah, yeah, definitely. And it's like if they're selling these things online, that means some people are down with this shit. So, of course you picked the dog dick. Look at that one.

Micro penis. Oh, boy, that's attached to a grenade. It's attached to a grenade. It's attached to a grenade. Yes, it is. This one's just called John. You want the John? I'll tell you what. 2021 alt porn winner.

That is not based on Feidelberg, I'll tell you that much. No, I have circumcised. That thing's uncircumcised. I don't appreciate you giving me a bad name. How about that one with the fucking Mario box? That was a dick. That was a dick design with the Mario Brothers boxes. That's amazing.

You hit that thing, get some coins out of it. Wow. I'm glad the dog didn't disappoint. I was worried that it would. It seems like it didn't. I mean, Howie's out of control, dude. Yeah, Howie's just posting. Howie's out of control, dude. Yeah, Howie's just posting. Howie's out of pocket on fucking social media, dude.

Goodness gracious. All right, so we got to get into Am I the Asshole? We've got our voicemails, of course. I have a new person that I hate the most on the internet right now. One of the funnest things that I got excited about was seeing the goddamn nuclear wasteland in the Chinese Olympics. And the people who are now correcting you to say that it's not actually a nuclear power plant are the worst. What is it? I don't know. It's like a cooling tower.

You know, like, who fucking cares? power plant are the worst what is it i don't know it's like a cooling tower or you know like who fucking cares the point is how absolutely absurd it looks okay i don't i didn't really actually think for a second that they were putting anybody in nuclear danger the point is that they put people in this some sort of industrial complex that looks like it has nuclear power plant smokestacks i used to live right by a power plant when I lived outside of Philly. Shout out to Limerick Power Plant. We used to go on fucking field trips from Valley Forge Elementary to a power plant that looked exactly fucking like that.

So when the goddamn Olympics are being hosted there, it looks really fucking funny. So the people who are like, actually, it's not really a nuclear power plant. Like, actually, you should kill yourself because nobody likes you. Because we're all just making fun of how ridiculous China is right now and how bad it looks. And Mr. Literal over here is taking all the fucking fun out of it. I think it looks more ridiculous zoomed out, which is crazy to say.

Like, that you can have cooling towers that look like that. People think at first glance are a nuclear power plant. Look at that. As you're zooming in, you're like, oh, no, it gets worse when you zoom out. All those other, like, stacks and buildings and pipes and all that shit. I mean, all of it. Have you seen, like, the food that they're eating, like the Russians posted? Well, I mean.

Honestly, God, if this was the last Olympics ever, it wouldn't surprise me. I totally agree. This has no buzz, in America at least, has no buzz. It has no pageantry. I'm sure the athletes fucking hate it. Look at that. I mean, I could have told you that, like, you know, some of the, like, massive, like, a massive. I'm not saying that there's, like, no good food, no good Asian food, obviously.

But, like, when you're doing something like this. There's a lot of very good Asian food. Right. But I'm saying when you're doing something like this on, like, a massive scale, I could have absolutely guaranteed you that you were just getting weird shit slopped into a fucking styrofoam bag. I think that's just the Olympics as a whole because I read a quote from- I'm sure it's been bad in Russia.

I'm sure it was bad in America. I'm sure, you know, like I'm sure none of it was great. Usain Bolt said when he won in Brazil, maybe I think it was, the only thing he was eating was 100 chicken McNuggets a day. Right. Because it's like the only thing he could trust was his body. Right. The only thing he knew how his body was going to react to it.

Like, I know it's bad, but at least it's fucking something I've had. The W-no type feeling. Yes, exactly. I mean, all of, anytime you're doing, you know, the lodging at the Olympics is always terrible. I'm sure the food, all the logistical stuff when you do the Olympics. Was it last Olympics or was it this one where they made everything out of cardboard? Yeah, that was Sochi, right? No, no, no, that was more recent. No, that was Sochi, right? No, no, no. That was more recent.

No, that was the last summer. Right, but that was more recent than Sochi. Probably. Last summer was... That was to make sure they weren't having sex on the beds. I feel like that was a lie. Like they broke the beds? Yeah, but it was... I know someone said that.

I know it's been said, but I think it was just like it's just easily recyclable. It makes more sense than building a ton of beds. I'm sure it's hard to fuck on cardboard, but I'd be surprised if that was the main reason behind it. The main problem here is that I think the very modernized and what we're used to as Western culture countries, I think realize how fucking stupid it is to host the Olympics.

Because you're ruining everything? Yeah, I mean, it's just expensive. It's a fucking pain in the ass. It is... It's just not... The return is not really... I think there was a time where it was very prestigious, and I think some of these developing countries want to do it because they want to

prove they can host these things on a big scale. But I think for America, it's like, we're all set. You know what I mean? And I'm sure they still want it. I'm sure they want it. I don't think it is what it used to be. Didn't LA just get it? Huh?

Didn't LA just get it? I think they're coming up. I think London was relatively recently, right? London was relatively recently, yeah. London was, I want to say, like, 2008, maybe, something like that. LA is 2028. So I'm sure, you know, I'm not saying they're not going to do it, but I think it's just like, yeah, all right.

The time zone doesn't help. The time zone and the fact that you can't do anything. You can't post pictures. You can't, like, promote it. And they're jamming Peacock down your throat. They don't allow the internet to cover it. The way that the rest of, like, sports in general has kind of globalized, it's like, I don't know. There's just not much appeal to it anymore.

Also, I guess it really depends on – whoa. That was weird, whatever was going on on the screen there. We are all mesmerized by – Google has some sort of thing Where baseballs fly across the screen And we are all like puppies We're like little kittens with a fucking Little laser thing on the Laser pointer on the wall I can't even talk

What is that? Why is this happening? Why did you Google Tori Stone? When you click on the Google logo It brings you to whatever day it is, and they're honoring Tony Stone today. Tony Stone's like the first female black player or something like that, I'm assuming? Yeah, to play a professional baseball woman. And all these baseballs fly across the screen.

This is going to be a horrible segment right now. You don't know what's going on, but all of us were like frozen in time. Would you go to the Olympics if like... Yeah, definitely Really? I don't even think I would go I definitely, I mean it's a cool experience It's a story to tell, something will happen I'd absolutely go

What would you want to watch? Winter Olympics? I'd go watch hockey for sure I'd probably watch A real Olympic sport A real Olympic sport? I'd watch figure skating I'd watch I'd watch Luger i'd watch uh i'd watch luge or skeleton um bobsled i'd watch uh halfpipe i'd watch big air i'd watch uh slalom racing i'd watch i'd watch a

lot of them really i'm not interested in any of that even when i I do tune in, the Eileen Gu storyline has been the big one, and I saw her 1640 double cork, and I was just like, oh, okay. I don't even know the difference between good and bad. It's all good. That's the Olympics. It's all like, holy shit, that was sick, and then they have the judging

system, but it's all, oh, I definitely go to curling. I fuck with curling. Curling for sure, and if there's big dramatics, like, I would have loved to be around for the Nancy Kerrigan, Tonya Harding shit. That was... theater at its finest. That was... I don't really

remember. She got hired a fucking monster. No, no, I mean, I know that... I mean, I don't remember in the moment. I know the story. Yeah, that's so sick. When did it happen? 96? 91 no i barely remember it's even years anyway there's no it's not yours 94 94 okay that is uh that i mean you'll just never get something like that i mean if that happened now you know yeah like there i don't know It's probably just the internet. But there was a level.

I wonder what the cutoff is. It's probably like 1994 and probably like OJ. Because like OJ was crazy too. Nancy Kerrigan was wild. And these are stories that I remember. But like the, maybe it is the internet and how everyone has a platform now. The think pieces and the coverage and shit of a story like that, a fucking mobster breaking some chick's kneecap,

is so absurd. Yeah, but I guess it's different because it's soccer, but it's also one of those things where I feel like because the internet is so big and everyone weighs in, that opinions just get like... Washed out. Not even washed out, people just get sick of reading them. I felt like that with Tom Brady.

Where it was like, when Tom Brady retired, everyone had an article. And I was like, I don't need to read it. Yeah, it was too much. I ended up reading like none. But that's also, you know, retirement is just whatever. Retirement is the greatest of all. But what I'm saying is, it also just happened. It was soccer, so it's different.

But this exact thing just happened. What? With PSG, Paris Saint-Germain. The starting striker, the backup striker hired the mobster to break the starting striker's knee. The exact thing happened. And they're like major players? PSG, yeah. It's PSG.

PSG is like one of the – No, no, but the players are a big deal. It's women's, so it's less. I mean, if that was like the World Cup or something, I feel like I would be more interested in it. But it's the classic question of what do you wish Twitter was around for? Because some of these stories just feel like I can't even imagine what would happen if some of that shit went down today. But, yeah, I don't know.

The Olympics, I don't know what it is, but nobody cares. It's got to be a time thing. But there's always been time problems. Yeah, because I have the last few nights where I've been kind of flipping around TV, and it's on. Peekaboo street and Lindsey Vonn. And like, and I, and I do know that I do know Eileen goo and like that story, but like, I mean, I guess Sean White is retiring or his last one.

Other than that, I don't know anybody about anything at all. And I guess the, the, the summer Olympics sometimes has more juice with the swimming and the track and field, but boy, there's nobody goes, Oh fuck about this. It helps when there's not a genocide taking place in the country yeah i mean that that that's no i mean i don't think anyone's not putting it on because of that because we're fucked um but like it is what do you think's going on with eileen goo why do you think she wants to compete as chinese instead of american i don't i don't know i've noticed you keep saying that name. I don't know who that is. Yeah, she's like an 18-year-old snowboarder. Beautiful chick.

Amazing snowboarder. Born in America. Lives in America. American dad. Chinese mother. And somehow she's just being allowed to compete as Chinese. China doesn't allow dual citizenship, so they don't even know how this is happening.

I'm sure they just dropped a duffel bag and it was like cut play for us instead but um well if you're i mean if you're the host country the uh statute for whether or not you're a citizen compete for them because if you're a host country you're guaranteed someone in every event so therefore you can't it's harder to you know like there are some things where some sports – your country doesn't really play. But I would imagine snowboarding. I would guess snowboarding. But they use their one designated whatever. Yeah.

I think I was saying with hockey, when the NHL was going, Brandon Yip was going to be the captain of the Chinese team. The NHL is not going anymore, so I don't think he is. Yeah. But I don't know what happened to that. She said, when I'm in America, I'm American. When I'm in China, I'm Chinese. I was like, that doesn't sound like the rules to me.

I think it's a lot more than that usually to qualify for a country on the Olympics. But China is super corrupt. The Olympics are super corrupt. I just can't imagine. I don't know what America. I mean, it's up to her. But I would imagine the American Ski Federation was probably like, please play for us. She would be.

She's a snowboarder? Yeah. What's her name? Aileen Gu. She just took gold in the big... On the power plant thing. She did a 1640 double cork or something, and she was something like only the third woman

to ever even complete this trick. But she just took home gold as a Chinese athlete. But she's, I mean, she's, she's, she also got a 1580 on her SATs. She's going to Stanford. She's, like, the perfect specimen of a human. She would be. Oh, wait, is she a skier? Yeah.

Sorry, I was going to say snowboard star. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was going to say Chloe Kim was, like, the shit. Yeah, yeah, sorry, skiing. And maybe that's part of the difference, too, if snowboard's, you know, sexier. But, yeah, sorry. Skiing. And maybe that's part of the difference too. Snowboard's sexier. But, I mean, if she was American, I think it would be like

on some Michael Phelps type shit. People would be like all over her. The double cork 1620. She spins four and a half times while rotating twice off axis with 20 feet in the air. I mean, it's preposterous. Four and a half? That's insane.

It is. All right, let's get into Am I the Asshole? Am I the Asshole? Today is brought to you by Napjitsu. If you are like us, you're tired and unhealthy and dragging ass pretty much always. And so people come up with all sorts of ways to try to get through the day you're doing energy drinks you're doing caffeine you're doing coffee and all of that

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little packet that gives you a boost of energy. Sign me up. Napjitsu.com slash KFC. Get 30% off. Don't say I never did anything for you. 30% off your natural energy. I'm going to start with am I the asshole. Okay. Am I the asshole for wearing the shirt? Because my –

That's an evergreen comment. You could probably use that about like every other week. Once a week. I think the answer is somewhere yes, somewhere no. Because it is... One of the best reasons to ever watch KFC Radio on YouTube is right now.

To see John's t-shirt. If you're listening, stop what you're doing. Go over to YouTube, subscribe, and look at John wearing this goddamn Winnie the Pooh shirt with Eeyore and Tigger hugging each other. Okay, so we got a good look on it. My aunt got this for me for Valentine's Day. I am 33 years old.

My aunt, I don't know exactly how old she is, but she's older. And she got me this for my Valentine's Day. In like an ironic way? No, no, I don't think so. Are you a Winnie the Pooh fan? Nope, not so much. Like when you were growing up as a kid? She said we talk think so. Are you a Winnie the Pooh fan? Nope, not so much. Like when you were growing up as a kid? She said we talk about it on the podcast.

Winnie the Pooh? Yeah, I said, I don't know. Do we talk about Winnie the Pooh on the podcast? It's come up several times that that's one of the leading franchises in the world. Yeah. That was like one time. Maybe disgusting, but it's not like it's like, I mean, I do like Winnie the Pooh as a kid, but it's not like I have some weird adult fetish or something.

You said, I'm Tigger. You said this shirt reminds me of... Well, the wonderful thing about Tigger is he's the only one, and you are one of a kind, John. But in this shirt, the context would be that I'm a happy person who hugs people. Yeah, I mean, you are, you are. I think the context is you're holding on to depression as hard as you can.

I mean, if anyone was ever to get John some sort of Winnie the Pooh material and say, you are XYZ character, it would make sense if they said Eeyore. But also sometimes Tigger. Yeah, because you are manic as fuck. So in a weird way, you are that shirt.

You know what She's fucking right Maybe she just didn't want to say This is the yin and the yang Of this bipolar depressed kid But that right there Is the duality of John Henry Feidelberg Sometimes in a deep depression

Sometimes in a like Let's go go go She got me two She also got me one that's orange And just Tigger on it Wow That one's kind of sick too So maybe

They're both so bad they're great So so that's really with the am i the asshole question am i the asshole for wearing a shirt that's an inside joke with just me and myself yeah like this shirt is hilarious to me because of all that stuff that no one knows and i wore i was wearing it like walking on the work today and i could like in my head feel people watching it being like what the hell's that shirt i I was like, you don't get it. My aunt got it for me. It's ridiculous. That's why this shirt's funny.

And no one else is ever going to know that. I think it plays though. I think it's kind of like a little hipstery, artsy, like throwback nostalgia shirt. Like if you were to walk around wearing something else from the 90s and the childhood, it would play. Yeah. Like I don't think they know all that shit that we just talked about.

See, I don't like it for that reason. I don't want you to think it's, like, a whole thing of stuff. This is funny because my aunt thinks it reminds her of me of her. If you were wearing, like, a Care Bear shirt that looked like a vintage retro-drunk dot-com T-shirt, people do that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. People have the Oregon Trail shirts and all those things. But, no, no, no.

There's a deeper meaning. Yeah. And it's fucking weird speaking of t-shirts while we're at it i've been talking about on social media uh we are trying to nail down a new logo for the show not even really for the show we want to make some kfc radio merch uh because you know we we make here we focus on actual like merch like sad boy season and the moon man line and hoodies and clothing that you can actually wear. But we don't have anything that really represents the show because the name sucks and because it's weird.

It's hard to just have. The name is great. Okay. It used to think it sucked. The name is great. Now it's coming back around. Yeah, it's so bad. It's great.

Now, Pav's put together this – it's kind of looking like a almost like a you know a gym where athletics like gold's gym or something honestly something i'd been wanting to make like full i didn't even think about doing for kc radio but i was like i remember talking to nardini about it like a worn like barstool thing this is like six years ago inside out like frayed but what i love about this is seeing that established 2012 like 2012 is a long time ago. That's a long time ago. I'm proud of seeing that number. When it was 2018 and we had been around for a while and you see 2012, it's like, whatever.

This is our 10-year anniversary this year. In June of this year, it'll be 10 years. So I like seeing that established. July. Huh? July. No, we started in June. July 14th. Isn't that the date that the Twitter started everything? July. No, we started in June. July 14th.

That's like, isn't that the date that the Twitter started everything? July 14th. I'm pretty sure it was June. Yeah, June 14th. June 14th? Yeah. So I like that. He's going to be out by tonight if you want to push him.

Those are we at? Okay, yeah. So on sale will be the new just classic KFC radio. We're also trying to come up, though, with. So On Sale will be the new, like, just classic KFC radio. We're also trying to come up, though, with something for the chicken heads. With all these NFTs, with the bored apes and the sad boys and the, like, lazy monkey and the tired lion and all these things, there's got to be some sort of funny or cool or sleek or minimalistic chicken logo. And we've gotten some cool chicken-related type logos that I've sent over. But nothing that I've thought I'd be like I would rock a t-shirt or a hoodie with that.

So everything that we've gotten has been like clip art feeling or very like listen to our radio show. We got these chickens with headphones on. It's like, I want something that, you know, like these NFTs and these things that are actually cool. And, and so,

I mean, we have our people like, why don't you, you know, have your design team do it? I'm like, we're trying. We just haven't come up with anything.

So we're opening it up to all the chicken heads, anybody who has any talent or digital design, or if you just got a cool, it could be something as simple as like Feidelberg's sad boy season sketch, you know? So send it over on social media or email or whatever. And if we do pick you, we'll throw you a few bucks. So get on your merch grind and help us out. And let's get into Am I the Asshole today.

Am I the Asshole for ruining my work colleague's wedding and getting them arrested? Title sounds bad, but hear me out. Yeah, that sounds like you're going to have to convince me. I, 38-year-old female, had two work colleagues, Mary and Adam, both in their late 20s, early 30s. Mary started the company first, and then she got Adam to join. They worked in different departments. Mary was in mine. Later, Mary left the company to pursue another career.

That's when they started at the company. They were already married for a few years. Now, Mary is the kindest and loveliest person I've ever met. She was always polite, helpful, and would cheer anyone up. We missed her dearly. So it came to a shock. So it came to a shock. What does that mean? When we found out that she is divorcing Adam because he cheated on her.

I have called her to express how sorry i am that this happened to her and we were talking about blah i was uh impressed how well mary holds herself in such a situation she wouldn't bad mouth adam and the only thing she mentioned was how her wedding dress and a few family heirlooms went missing when she was moving her stuff from their apartment she thought they might be misplaced in a different box and would turn up eventually a A few years passed. Jesus. I now work in the same department as Adam. He's a good work colleague

but can be dismissive and ignorant sometimes. Adam invited me to his wedding to his wedding with the lady Adam invited me to the wedding with the lady Chelsea that he cheated on Mary with. Okay. Follow? As the entire department was invited. I said yes, making sure Mary is okay with this.

I've also told her where the wedding would be. On the day of Adam's wedding, I noticed that Chelsea is wearing a similar dress that Mary wore in the photo of her wedding a couple years ago. So without thinking, I snapped a picture and sent it to Mary, saying, doesn't this dress look familiar? Mary saw the message, but she didn't respond. About an hour later, the police show up at the venue. I need to add that the police in our country is ruthless,

and any theft is considered a criminal matter. Police have asked Chelsea to take the dress and all the jewelry off. Chelsea refused and started arguing with them. Then Adam joined in. As they were rude to the police, they were taken to the police station. Everyone at the wedding had to leave. I tried to call Mary, but she wouldn't pick up the phone. We found out later that Chelsea was wearing Mary's wedding

dress and her heirlooms. Mary spotted them on the picture that I sent and called the police. Apparently, she has previously asked Adam if he had them. He declined, saying he never saw them. So after she saw the picture, she called the cops. Chelsea had to leave the wedding dress and the jewelry at the police station and go home

wearing her underwear and Adam's jacket after they were bailed out. Yesterday, Adam returned to the office and went completely mental at me, blaming me for sending a picture to Mary. Woo! Woo! She brought it around. No, you're not the asshole.

I mean, ultimately Adam is a fucking scumbag thief you know but also it's like what are you doing taking pictures and send it to my ex yeah i mean but but like yeah i agree you know it's kind of like you're only at like what was best case scenario is like you just ruin mary's day and create drama you know what i Yeah. Like she didn't say like, look, this woman stole your dress. Maybe she was just saying,

maybe she was, if it was a genuine, like this bitch stole from you, we're going to pinch them. Okay. But if it's kind of like, wow, look at this.

Like the new girl is wearing a dress just like yours. It's just like, ah, you're just throwing the pot. That, that I completely agree with. I think, I think we,

I forget what shows you're on. Um, but we talked about that recently with, Oh no, I think I – I forget what show it was you were on. But we were talking about that recently with – oh, no. I think I was talking about Brad Williams where it was like when people say things – like when I was in Vegas, people were like, dude, I don't know why everyone hates you. And I was like, okay, well, you don't – You don't have to fucking say that. I don't need to know that.

I know. And Brad Williams did it to us too. He said – he's at Caroline's. I'm not going to tell you. How about that? I'm not going to tell him. Kevin doesn't need to know. Well, you have to tell me now. He was at Caroline's to say he was coming on. Half the crowd went crazy. Half the crowd booed.

Wait, wait, wait. Wait, he said when we went on stage at Caroline's? No, no, no. He told, we interviewed him Monday. He did Caroline's Sunday night. And he's like, tomorrow I'm going on, I don't know if he's at KC Radio or Mars. Why the fuck would you say night, and he's like, tomorrow I'm going on – I don't know if he's a case radio at Barstool. Why the fuck would you say that?

And he was like, yeah, I have to cry with a crazy, I have to cry with a boot. I was like, all right. He must have said Barstool. Yeah. I would imagine that's much more a Barstool thing and unfortunately a Dave thing. I hope. Let's just throw Dave under the bus. He threw me right under the bus the other day, so I'm throwing him under the bus on that one.

I didn't say it. That was Kevin Clancy. He shouldn't have said it. Yeah, I get – I actually like the most form of support that I get are people when they finally are fed up with hate and then send me a message being like, you get so much hate that I want to help balance out and give you some love, which is cool. But you just don't need to say that. You don't need to be like, oh, I see nothing but an avalanche of hate on you. So I'd like to try to be a drop in the goddamn ocean. I'll be a deck chair off the Titanic and try to help you here. You could just say I like your stuff.

I go out of my way to not. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you see the tweet? So we talked about it, saying that when you hosted the show alone I got a lot of tweets being like Kevin doesn't need to come back And then you didn't get any tweets from people Just saying that you did a good job And then someone goes

Someone tweeted both of us And brought that conversation up And said John you did a great job But I'm happy to have Kevin back You guys are the sum How does that go The greater the sum. You guys, how does that go? The greater the sum and the greater the parts. And then he goes, it's why I don't listen to your solo

show. You were so close. You were so fucking close. You didn't need to say that. I saw that one. I'm like, I hope they don't see that one. It was like three lines, three sentences. Good, good, good. Totally ruined the whole thing.

You guys have no couth. You have no tact. But I'm hoping that was more of a barstool reputation. I mean, there's really – I can't imagine a crowd at Caroline's booing this show. Yeah, we're not on that level. What is funny, speaking of Dave throwing me under the bus to those three guys, I got a message from the youngest brother of that trio. They're all brothers?

Yes. Okay. But you can tell that there's two brothers and then there's a third brother. The one guy who didn't say a word during that whole debate. The fact that it happened at midnight, it's like the Olympics. I just didn't even see it. You didn't see it. I knew it was happening, but I didn't see see anything and then by the time i woke up i guess

it all blew over we talked about a little bit on the show but yeah he the the third one apparently is like a day one 2012 kfc radio listener and had sent me a message being like it's not what you think and i was kind of like i don't know what i think it is but i don't want to get involved in any of this so appreciate the support i'm done it. Unless they want to hire us to create propaganda or whatever. Cut the check, bro. Absolutely, for sale. Imagine if we just have a second career one day and it's like taking down Dave and Marshall.

Superpacks have a ton of money, right? Okay. They do, but I heard that. I think the whole thing about Superpacks is that they can raise unlimited money, but I heard that those guys raised like $4 million, and I was like, that's not enough. I'll get me.

Well, if it's $4 million going to me. Yeah. But, you know, I'm for sale and the price is less than $4 million. Way less. Way less. Okay. So final answer. You know, you know what?

I think final answer. I think she's still kind of the asshole because it's like, okay, it's not cool that you got your dress and your heirloom stolen. And unless we're talking, if that's like major money, then, you know, whatever. It's been years. It's been years. And when you go on, if you know that you live in a country where some motherfuckers are getting their hands chopped off because they stole something. So now you've ruined these people's weddings. Which, whether or not Adam's a sleazebag, you don't like him. This other girl, Chelsea, is completely innocent.

She doesn't know any of this shit. She just got a gift and got a wedding, and you know what I mean? So you've ruined their wedding. She's naked in a fucking, I don't know, Turkish jail or wherever the fuck she is now. And Mary's at home just being like, eh, fuck. It's like nobody really wins here. So just stay out of people's shit also just wait don't fuck up a wedding that my sister's broken up by the cops right and it was like literally do it you do it tomorrow or whatever you know it was like 10 p.m a little after 10 we had we had a full band at the house

and shit and like there's neighbors aren't very close to us but someone called the cops they said someone downtown like someone in down my parents live in like a very rural area they said someone downtown called the police like someone in town and we're like what are you talking about they're blasting off like nobody could hear it in town and then the cops showed up like they had like four cops cars show up like lights are blaring like what do you do what do you do right now to and again it's a very small town it's like we what are you do? Get over yourselves. What do you do right now? Again, it's a very small town. It's like, what are we doing here? Well, that's why.

Because small town cops love that, you know. Yeah. In this small town, people have a sign that says, we love our hero cops. There's 500 people who live here. Bro. I don't know if it's. I don't want to start to play, you know, who's, which cops are better than what cops. But small town cops are not heroes.

Heroes. I mean, you're not a hero. Hero is a word that means things. You have to. Pat Tillman's a hero. That's. Yeah. Yeah.

Right. Are you putting yourself on that level? Yeah. That's what I mean. Like, hero used to mean you, like, sacrificed your life at 9-11. Not if you're a rural cop who, like, one day broke up a wedding. Come on, man. Hero. It's just a crazy thing to say.

Like, I'm a hero. Well, you're not. No. You can't. You actually, as a matter of fact, you cannot. You're a person who has a job. And that's respectable. You cannot proclaim yourself a hero.

No. If the words I'm a hero ever come out of your mouth, you're a fucking asshole. It's got to be decided by other people. It's like giving yourself a nickname. It's like the fucking Curb episode when Jeff and Susie's daughter is dating a former Marine, and Larry doesn't say thank you for your service. Right, right. And he's like, I don't know.

Everyone said it. He's like, yeah, but I wanted to hear from you. I was like, wow. I don't know, man. Fuck that. Fuck that. I don't know. I have to call you a hero? Everyone else is calling you a hero.

I got to call you a hero, too? All right. Am I the asshole for kicking my mom out of my house because of how she reacted to her partner not liking my wife's chili? That's a lot of moving parts. So wait. Her mom. This mom's chili. That's a lot of moving parts. So wait, her mom, this mom's partner.

My mom's partner didn't like my wife's chili. Okay. Weird way. So let's say I got a partner. I know partner doesn't mean. So my mom's a lesbian. Her lesbian. I know partner means both, but this is just giving me lesbian vibes.

Yeah. So let's just say mom and girlfriend. And the girlfriend doesn't like my wife's chili. Okay. That way. My mom and I have just come off a three-year estrangement. Her and my wife hated each other from day one, just really clashed, and my mom was going through some stuff in her personal life and acting out.

We mutually agreed. Sounds like a lesbian. It wasn't fixable. Sounds like someone was coming out of the closet. And we should go our separate ways. I recently reconnected with her at a party and told her that I wanted to try and fix things. My wife supported this.

My mom is with someone I'll call Rob. Ah, not a lesbian. I'm pretty sure they are engaged, but to be honest not 100% sure. So this is weird. If you don't know whether your mom's engaged or not, this is fucking weird. We've seen my mom a couple of times since reconnecting and I can tell she's really trying she seems extremely anxious and too nervous to talk so we're taking it really slow but i do believe that is her trying recently we invited

my mom and rob over my wife was making chili in the crock pot and it was done but we weren't ready to eat she had some tortilla chips and said that she likes dipping it in the chili and invited them to have some while we waited. Rob took some and gagged. I don't think he did it on purpose, and he seemed embarrassed, but my wife's chili is very sweet. She uses maple syrup, chocolate powder, cinnamon, and brown sugar. My mom laughed, which upset my wife because she has always been smug about not thinking my wife is a good cook. I could see my wife getting annoyed and snapped at my mom.

Rob kind of looked ill and excused himself. My mom stood there for a minute in silence and then bolted after him, started banging on the bathroom door and demanding to be let in. He was ignoring her and she started freaking out and said that she wanted to be hugged. She has some anxiety and PTSD related stuff and that is her comfort person. Just as I got to the door to tell her to stop banging, Rob let her in, and I heard their conversation. Rob was saying that they had to get out of here because he can't eat that chili. My mom was kind of teasing him about, oh, you didn't like it,

and telling him that she served it with rice and with raisins and sugar and a chocolate sauce. That's a lie. And he said it tasted like dog food with sugar, and he was going to have nightmares. I saw red, and my mom was laughing. It just brought me back to how smug she used to be and how she looked down on us. When they came out, I told her to leave. My mom got really quiet again, said it was creepy that I was standing outside the bathroom door. She said she's been trying and she feels I'm looking for reasons to hate her.

I told her to just go because I was too emotional to talk to her. She left willingly, but Rob told me I can't just nitpick and kick her out. And then thinking that when she's putting work into the relationship. I mean, here's the deal. I'm not a chili expert. I feel like chili is along the lines of barbecue where people feel strongly about their chili. I love chili.

I love chili, but I also can't differentiate. The Wendy's chili is fine. Yes, I actually really like the Wendy's chili. I like the good meat soup. I really like their taco salad. I like that a lot. And I do know that sometimes people put cinnamon in it and shit, but this seems rather extreme that there's four different types of sugary sweetness in there.

But here's the deal. Here's the deal. Got to make better chili. You think that's it? Got to make better chili. If you make chili that is so bad that there is an involuntary – that's bad chili. If you're putting chocolate powder in your sugar, cocoa powder, putting fucking maple syrup. But even that, I could see one of those things where it's like, hmm, what's the special ingredient?

And Anthony Bourdain would be like, it's actually cocoa powder. But when you're doing all this shit, the fact that – That's like – unless fucking Buddy the Elf is coming over for dinner. We don't need that many sugars. Chocolate and maple and cinnamon and brown sugar. I mean, that's the four sugars. Short of powdered sugar, that's all of them. But, you know, like you said, it's meat soup.

It's some beans. It's taco meat. It's sloppy joe. It's all in the family. And it all kind of tastes in this range, you know, where you just go like. But if it's, you take a bite and you're like – that means you've done something drastically wrong, and I don't care about the PTSD.

I don't care about the estrangement. I don't care about Rob. That's on bad chili cooker, especially because if I go to your house and you're like, let's have some – we're going to have some chili, I'm expecting edible chili. Yeah. Like if you came over and, hey, we're going to have some chili, I'm expecting edible chili. Yeah. Like if you came over and, hey, I'm going to grill. I'm going to make some dogs and burgers.

And I overcook the burgers and the dogs are just the dogs. It's like, ah, whatever. Kevin's not a great grill master, you know? But if I'm like, come on over. We're going to have some chili. Or like, come over and have some barbecue or something that's specific like that. I feel like that's a thing and you're doing it because you're good at it.

Clam bake. Yeah. Unless I told you like, yo, I'm trying to learn or something. Like I had this new recipe. If you say a specific thing like that, it's a thing. I'm expecting it to be good and when it's disgusting. And now what? I got to sit and eat a whole bowl of this?

Now I got to slop up a whole fucking thing of a crock pot of it? Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope. I mean like you could just say no. I don't think you can because it up a whole fucking thing of a crock pot of it? Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope. I mean, you can just say no. I don't think you can because it's a whole chili thing. It's not like I could say you overcooked the burgers, I'll just have a hot dog. It's a chili. It's a chili event. This is a situation where everyone...

He said he's going to have nightmares, John. Everyone should acknowledge that. Like, hey, you know what? This family was born accidentally. Let's just all go our separate ways. Doesn't that suck, bro? We don't fucking... The amount of, like, in-law...

In-laws just suck. Like, we've talked about it before. Like, even if you don't, like, hate your in-law, you very rarely, like, love your in-laws. You know what I mean? Like, where it just clicks. Where it's just like, you're as comfortable as you are around your real family. I think that's even weirder than liking them yeah when you when

you just yeah yeah i think there's a a good healthy now you're fucking like a family member right i think there should be a good distance if there's if blood is thicker than water so blood should be different than you know what i mean your blood relationships are always going to be different and if they're not that's weird But also when it's like the extreme opposite where it's just like, yeah, man, we were like, we're brothers, we're sisters, we're siblings, whatever. We are like on each other, like, you know, we love each other. We're like, you know, almost identical.

And then like you just date and marry someone that nobody likes or they don't get along or they're totally different. It's just like, well, I don't know. This family's ruined now. You know what I mean? It's just like, it's going to be awkward for the rest of the time now because we don't get along or they're totally different. It's just like, well, I don't know. This family's ruined now. You know what I mean? It's just like, it's going to be awkward for the rest of time now because we don't get along.

That's fucked. That's why I still always believe separate holidays until like the last possible moment. That should be like standard, canon in relationships until you have kids. Kids, you got to start to share and show everything. Otherwise, go to your separate corners. Kevin's rules to relationship are always just don't be in a relationship. Don't be in a relationship. No.

Separate dinner, separate room, separate TV, separate holidays. It's don't. The way to make a relationship work is to not jam the square peg in the round hole. Because certain things do fit. And the things that don't, don't try to make it work. Because they're not going to. Don't fucking cook the chili. Don't cook bad chili for people who don't like it.

And don't spy on your mom. If someone's going, I think that is something people do. People are that nosy, curious type thing. When someone wants to be alone, I just leave them alone. Where it's like, why are you putting your ear to the door? But that whole display, banging on the door, I need a hug, you're my cover person. Everyone involves an asshole. ETA, everyone's the asshole. But that whole display banging on the door, I need a hug, you're my cover person. Everyone involves an asshole. ETA, everyone's the

asshole. Get the fuck out. Alright, voicemails. Video voicemails today are brought to you by Sling. Make sure you hit the video voicemail line, aka film yourself and send it to us. If you go to the KC Radio Twitter or Instagram, you can see the link to submit the videos.

You can also just tweet at it or DM it to us. Submit your questions and your videos that way. But it's all brought to you by Sling. If you love watching live sports, but this actually, forget about it. I'm throwing this fucking, I'm throwing the copy out the window because Sling is just a must-have. Cable, it's done. It's over. And I used to be like the main

I'm not cutting the cord I haven't used cable in Years now And I still just sit around paying for it like an idiot And once sports became a thing I was a staunch Like you need sports and you need news And the streaming packages

Just never had that now they do And so there's just no fucking reason. Go a la carte with Sling. You can pick all the services you want. You can get the sports. You can get live action. And you don't have to pay like $200 a month and have the boxes and the cords and the activation

and the up charges and all that shit. You can get all the movies you need. You can get all the sports you need. You can get all the entertainment you need on Sling. When it comes to sports, ESPN, FS1, TNT, all of that. You get everything there. You can watch college hoops, pro hoops, NBA playoffs, football, all of it. Formula One, because people are fake liking that now.

Every sport in the world you can get on Sling. Plus, there's the Barstool Sports Channel. And that's the only streaming service right now where you get a 24-7 Barstool Sports channel that includes stool streams. It includes the Yak, all of the video podcasts, all of the video content we provide, all for free on the Barstool Sports channel that is exclusively only on Sling.

So if you like your sports and you like all your entertainment and you're a Barstool fan, you go with Sling because that's the only way you can get all of it together. Sling.com slash Barstool. up now try it for free uh first three days totally free and then it's just 35 bucks a month no contracts no long-term commitment 35 dollars my cable bill is like 210 it's crazy really i don't know i have no idea mine is either it's probably very high i mean i i guess it, because you start to buy movies and shit. All of a sudden, it's like, whoops.

If I want to watch something, I just buy it. Right. It's very easy. How about sling.com slash bar sold and try for free. I'm going to run on the presidential platform. We've talked about it before, but I just want to state it. I'm going to eradicate the do you want to watch your movie now there is one scenario and one scenario only where you when you click rent and then it says are you

sure you want to rent it and then you click yes and then it says do you want to start it now it's like you're going to click like four more times to watch it the only scenario i can see is if i am going out and I have a babysitter coming and I like buy the movie that I know my kids like and then I can have it all teed up for like the babysitter.

That's the only thing I could even wrap my brain. Well, even the babysitter knows how to do it. I agree. But I'm like, the only way I can consider it is if it's like, hey, listen,

they love this movie. You don't have to find it because sometimes kids are like, put on the Johnny show and they're like, what the fuck is that? Right, right, right. So maybe. You don't have to find it. Because sometimes kids are like, put on the Johnny show. And they're like, what the fuck is that? Right, right, right. So maybe. But other than that, there is no scenario where you would buy,

where you rent a movie and not watch it right then and there. It's fucking insane. It is. It's bonkers. They use voicemails. Let's go. What's up, KFC radio team? So I think a few episodes back

I think it was John who was talking about the R.E. Garbage guys how an adult with a cast is a really rough look I forget exactly what the context of the conversation was but, so, just turns out that I am a soon-to-be 30-year-old man that broke his wrist this weekend. Um, don't exactly want to get into how it happened because it's a little embarrassing.

Um, but I soon, uh, realized that me being a 30-year-old man walking around with a cast, people are going to ask what happened. So I have to come up with a story that makes me not seem like a complete piece of shit. I looked up the fractures that I have, and it said the most common occurrence is from falls. So I think I'm just going to be simple, easy, fell off a bike. No. No.

No. No drinks involved. I'm not being the alcoholic piece of shit that I really am. But I think that's a believable, simple enough. No one's really going to question. What are you talking about, bro? Do you not have a mirror? That's not believable at all.

If this guy told me. It's not even his weight. That was rude. That was mean. It's not even his weight. Because there are plenty of people who are bigger who ride bikes. He just doesn't look like a bike guy. But that also makes sense.

The mustache, the fucking... That makes sense that he would fall off the bike then. No, because he knows how to ride a bike. He looks like a normal human. But he's... He doesn't just... The guy looks like me. He doesn't look like a bike guy.

Yeah, yeah. You're certainly not like a cyclist. No one's going to... That was not a weight joke. He's not that big. He's a regular size guy. He looks certainly not like a cyclist. No one's going to, you know... That was not a weight joke. He's not that big. He's a regular size guy. He looks like me.

He's fine. He's a proportionate individual. He looks a lot like you. Yeah. The final verse expands. I want to know how he broke his... I mean, how can you break your wrist? Yeah, it's such a...

I mean, it's probably just like a drunk, like... I believe it was Mark Twain. If a story's embarrassing, it's a story worth telling. Or maybe if a story isn't embarrassing, it's probably just like a drunk, like... I believe it was Mark Twain. If a story's embarrassing, it's a story worth telling. Or maybe if a story isn't embarrassing, it's not worth telling. But you can't... Well, fucking tell me the goddamn story. And you can't be like, I'm not going to tell you. It's like, fucking...

You're not going to tell the story on KFC radio. You're calling in this stupid show to begin with. Just tell us how you did it. What is a good reason to have a cast? Winter, you can get around yep winter ice but but it is like i don't that's you know when i when i fell down the stairs like a month ago and i was like and i took the fall and i was happy about it like the day that you're just like i fell on the ground and my body's broken is a sad day yeah that's some old people shit

where it's like oh boy boy, I'm done. I wouldn't shake a stick at ice because I know it can happen to anybody. You think you're tougher than the ice? I know it can happen to anybody. Nobody's tougher than ice. One day the ground can just reach up and... Gotcha. Sniper gets you. So ice is a decent one. Breaking a wrist.

Breaking a wrist. I mean, I have kids. I feel like there's been a couple of times where I've almost broken bones, like fucking around with my kids today. I was, I was watching them. They're home from school and I'm at, I'm at their mom's house and she's watching me and she's like, Jesus Christ. When you're with these kids, it's like, it's like a athletic thing for you, huh?

I'm like, yeah. She's like, I don't do any of this stuff. I was like, fuck, this is bullshit. I'm't do any of this stuff. I was like, fuck! This is bullshit! I'm going down into the basement that's fucking freezing with them and I'm playing double piggyback rides and doing wheelbarrow races and shit.

I'm like, what are you doing with them? This is bullshit, man. That's how long I'm going to break my wrist. You can go, the winter you can have skiing. Skiing's a fine one. And a wrist is like, you know, I got a hairline fracture because I fell snowboarding. Done.

Yeah. Again, I don't know if you're not a biking guy. I don't know if you're going to get away with the skiing thing. No, you can get away with skiing. This guy, though, like, if it's the toss-up between fucking biking and bar fight, go bar fight. That's a bar fight face. That's a bar fight face. The only thing I was thinking when he's like, when you're an adult male and he's embarrassed about it, is I think violence.

Yeah? I think he got in a fight. I think he got in a bar scrap and didn't want to say that he's fighting as a grown man. I think he punched a wall. Punched a wall. Punched a wall. He said wrist. I'm a big wall puncher.

Yeah, you're a freak. You're a freak. Punching a wall is fucking... You're a violent madman. I know. That's crazy. That is crazy freak. Punching a wall is fucking... You're a violent madman. I know. That's crazy. That is crazy behavior. It is.

Smashing bottles, punching walls. You're an animal. You're an absolute animal. I like being violent. Being violent is fun. I was just going to say, that was so genuine. It is. I like being violent.

Being violent is fun. I got to be violent a little that was so genuine. It is. Slap it on the nerve. I like being violent. Being violent is fun. I got to be violent a little bit this weekend. Because it is. There is that little bit. It's like, I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. And I get out there and someone slashes me.

And I'm like, oh, I'm fucking furious. And I get in the corner and I fucking hit him in the head a few times. It's fun. You get a little Marchand on there. He's crazy, man. Just hitting him and fucking punching that goalie in the face and then hitting him with a stick. That was wild.

What a maniac, that guy. Next up. What's up, KFC fam? First time in a while. Troy here from up in Saskatoon. So on Monday night, I smoked a joint and was watching the highlights of the Bills-Chiefs game. I guess my first question is, up in Canada with legalized marijuana, all we got is these pre-rolls you can buy.

Do you know if 3C is going to make it up here anytime soon? Because you guys make it sound like it's a gift of God. That's not my real question. I was having a high thought, more of a Jackie jacked up thought. I want to get your opinion on this, Jackie. Why don't the running backs or the receivers, every time they get the ball, just put the ball inside their jersey, tuck it into their jersey, and run with it like that?

Then you don't have to worry about fumbling it. I know it's a high thought, but I don't want to get Jackie's opinion on that. I hope you guys have a good day. Viva. I've thought about that every single time. Yeah? But I just figured, like, they have to have come up with something against them. You know what is, like, better than a shirt holding a ball is a super strong professional athlete holding it with his muscles.

I couldn't believe it. I thought I misheard it. He thinks hide the ball in his shirt? Like, put it underneath the shirt. It's so much worse than... Yeah, but they don't even... Yeah, they have the super strong quarterbacks, but then they fumble. Quarterbacks?

Quarterbacks are the weakest. Whatever, running backs, it doesn't matter. They have really, really strong arms that hold the ball rather than just shirts. No, but sometimes it doesn't work. Right, but it works way more. Shirt is a foolproof plan. No, no. No, it is.

No. She has spoken. Jackie has spoken. Where's the ball? I don't think we have it Oh here Pop it in your shirt Jackie come over here

Make Feidelberg fumble So this is So Feidelberg has this shirt The ball inside is Tigger and Eeyore's shirt Okay but your But here's the thing Okay now whack it out Nope nope nope

Just whack it out of his Just fucking whack it out of his Just fucking whack it out of his shirt Whack it out No, no, I can't do it, I can't See, look how close It's really close Okay, but like, one more whack and you're getting it I know, but

You're not running around like this But I can't run fast like this Why? That's how you do it normally. No, you don't. You have one hand normally. Why do you look so awkward when you do that? Because that's awkward.

Okay, so now try that. Now try that. Now we're trying that. Now hold it and try to walk it out. Now hold it. Yeah. First one second. Touché! The jacked up throwback.

First one second. Second. Touche The jacked up throwback This one I was gonna hide Yeah You can't just grab that Don't move it Try to whack it as hard as you can He's not even gonna move it Oh my god That's hard

That's You know what? The hands are better Yeah The hands are better That's hard. That's, you know what? The answer better, yeah. The answer better. First of all, tickle. The sneak attack tickle was good. Would work.

It would work. I was not expecting this. No one expects the Spanish Inquisition. We have one more? One more. One more. One more voice mail. We'll get it to our interviews.

What's going on, guys? I just wanted to run something by you about the idea of quitting sports fandom. Just a little context. I'm Canadian, and I'm a fan of the Toronto Raptors. And every time I go on Twitter, the Raptors fandom on Twitter is just the worst, man. They're just so obsessed with the team to the point where for me, it's just getting annoying and it kind of weirds me out. And where I'm stuck is I'm 19.

So I have a long way to go with watching sports, but they won in 2019. So I've already gotten my championship and I'm a fan of the Bills. So I'm never getting rid of them so my idea is do i just jump ship now and because i've already gotten my championship and i don't and these fans no longer have to live in my head rent free or do i keep going for a bit and if it just keeps getting worse and worse and worse i just i leave let me know thanks you know man i think i this is one of my favorite voicemails of all time. Why?

What are you going to say? Because I just know exactly what he's talking about. I relate to him very heavily. Yeah. Because it is the, like. I mean, I hate. I do as well, but I don't have the chip, like, in my back pocket. Like, I hate the majority of Mets fans now, and it drives me nuts. But, like, I don't have that championship.

Yeah, yeah. But the championship aside, I don't. that championship. Yeah, but championship aside, I think you can jump ship if you want, but you'll never replicate your hometown team. So that's my thing is, on the one hand, I want to tell you, do whatever you want because who fucking cares anymore. Just root for whatever team you want. But also, you know what is so much easier than that? You just root for the team and the city you live in. Yeah. You're from Toronto. You just root for whatever team you want. But also, you know what is so much easier than that? You just root for the team and the city you live in.

Yeah. You're from Toronto. You just root for the Raptors. You'll never get a second love like that. Right. Because it's natural and it makes sense. Your first love is bullshit in fucking sex. Your fucking first love in sports is, that's 100% real.

You'll never love the team. It's where you're from or where your family and your dad and your mom make you root for whatever. That is as pure. It's almost like in-laws and your family and your dad and your mom make you root for whatever. That is as pure. It's almost like in-laws and blood family. You know what I mean? Your first team is like your sibling. You're born into it.

And if you pick another team, it's like having an in-law where it's like, yeah, we get along, but it's not really natural. But I also, you know, he hates. I would never have imagined that the Raptors fan base is one that you hate. Well, that's the thing. You hate every fan base. If you're on the internet and you're on Twitter and you're a fan and you follow the guys who are diehard dick riders, who the team is never wrong,

you follow the Frank the Tanks, who the team's never right, every fan base has irrational assholes that are going to make you hate the other fans of the team. So why jump ship? It's a game we talk to too many people now. Yeah. We hear the opinions of too many people and it ruins things. It's not even just anything.

What Brian Suave was talking about is everything. There's an avalanche of sex. There's an avalanche of fandom. There's a tsunami of politics. There's an overwhelming tidal wave of, of, of sociology, like, everything you like and enjoy, uh, comic books and movies and television and all that shit, it's like, I, it used to be like, um, oh, I found, like, the Reddit page of the show, and I can dive in deeper, and I like it, or I find this community where we all share it, and it and it enhances everything. And now

it's gone too far. Where you find these things and it becomes too much and it ruins the thing that you love. Well because what happens is you associate them with it. And you're like well I don't want to be like that. I don't want people to think I'm like them. Yes. I don't want to think I'm a fucking psychopath. But there was probably a sweet spot

where like I remember like Lost was probably a sweet spot where, like, I remember, like, Lost was probably, like, the tipping point. Like, the beginning of Lost, I remember, was the first time I found, like, it was probably, like, message boards and shit like that. And it was cool because it was like, oh, that guy's got a really good theory. And I never thought of that. And it was, like, this second screen type of thing that made it better until it went too far and all the theories and everything fucked it up. And the same thing with True Detective when we did it with that. And it's the same thing with Marvel Comics and Game of Thrones and all the entertainment.

And then they do it with sports and you do it with politics and you do it with everything where it's like, well, if you take this fun hobby or this little thing of enjoyment and you follow the obsession side of it. It's a turn off. Whether it's this side or that side, the obsession side sucks. It's an absolute turn off. Anything, it's all like everything in moderation. Everything else is – it sucks. It's like the – I think I talked about it. The Reddit thread I read once recently.

I think it was named by the asshole or whatever it was. But it was the girl who's born into a Harry Potter family. And she's like – her parents got mad at her because she's hanging out with people into a Harry Potter family. And she's like, her parents got mad at her because she's hanging out with people on a Harry Potter day. And she's like, I just want normal friends who like things a normal amount. And it's like, every fan

is a short for fanatic, which implies insanity. So it all is fucking nuts. And it sucks. Because then when you're like, I don't like this because you like it too much and it's fucking weird it's like oh you're a quadrillion like no i'm just fucking being right like it's just i still i still enjoy it right i just don't want to be associated with your joy i don't want anybody to look at me and think that i'm like you yeah we're different yeah we're not the fucking same you and i are not the same man the uh by the way

um we talked about signs with Josh Potter the other day. And we got a couple comments on the YouTube video about signs. People were very passionate about it. And one guy was so defiantly fucking stupid on the internet, I couldn't believe it. He goes, he tried to correct us. He was like, you know, at 1527 mark. He goes. Just random guess. he tried to correct us he was like you know at 1527 mark he goes just just random to guess

he goes he goes he goes it wasn't that water killed the aliens it was the specific water from that town like no it fucking wasn't i was gonna say i didn't i didn't know that i i i nick i think read me that comment the other day and um i was like oh i didn't know that. Nick, I think, read me that comment the other day, and I was like, oh, I didn't know that. I just took it. He said something confident enough. I said, all right, he's right. How would they stop the worldwide invasion with water from one town? I don't remember the movie well enough.

I don't know if it was one ship. It amazes me that people get this wrong about signs. The aliens weren't allergic to all water. It was the water specifically from that town where they lived. Like, absolutely no, it's fucking not. And actually, in the movie, they say that it started, they figured it out in the Middle East, you dumb fucking asshole.

I'm concerned that it was 1527. 1527. Nailed it. You had that one. Fucking nailed it. I hate this guy. I just can't believe when people are so defiantly wrong. You know, I'm like, no, this guy I just can't believe when people are so defiantly wrong like yeah you know I'm like no you know you are so fucking stupid here but then I did you

see the thing I tweeted where they said it's not aliens at all this is a ten-year-old theory that I'm coming coming around on for the first time so if you've heard it I'm a decade late at least yeah oh yeah the theory the theory that I read was like a 2012 blog post and that's not they're not aliens at all they're just like demons and then it's all religious that's why mel gibson's a pastor and it's all about uh faith and that the water is holy water because you never see a alien you never see a ship you never see anything that's actually like extraterrestrial and that it's just like demons from earth or whatever and i'm like that's one of those things though it's like sure it's just it's a and that it's just, like, demons from Earth or whatever. And I'm like –

That's one of those things, though, where it's like, sure, I get it. It's a sideways move. It's just like, okay, I don't know. They were like – they said that's why. But it's like when, like, J.K. Rowling was like, this character's gay. It's like, well, okay, but you didn't – you gave me nothing to believe that. Right. Like, you didn't tell me that in the story.

I guess the thought was people always say about signs, why would aliens who are perceived to be smart traveling to another planet go somewhere where 70% of the planet can kill you? But they probably didn't know that. Well, that's what my thing was. But people were saying if you think of it as demons and holy water, it makes more sense. But the water was blessed. So that's why I was saying in the movie they talk about how they figured, like in the Middle East is where they figured it out, where the water might be blessed, and they believe that the water in the movie that we see is from the girl, and they think that the girl is some sort of like angel.

It's a whole fucking thing. Yeah. I don't know. I'm going aliens. Yeah. It's, yeah. Talk to a 10-year-old movie breakdown here on KFC Radio. All right.

Get into our interviews. We'll start off with Kelly Stafford, who is just one of the most ride-or-die chicks ever. We found out that she was doing Good Morning America, Ryan Seacrest, and Us. That's the only press she's doing. Super Bowl quarterback wife. And she was like, I'm only talking to these guys from KFC Radio. And we got to know her. She did say they listen to us in bed. I know. She said they put the kids to bed

and they listen to us, which is like... I was kind of like, you guys ever fucked? Our voices have definitely been playing while they've been fucking. And that's actually... So I was going to say, we talked to her, we learned about her and her relationship with Matthew Stafford and the Lions

and now the Rams and her famous neighbors and the Kardashians and all this shit. And it's cool. 95-year-old Ron. 95-year-old Ron who used to be their neighbor in Detroit. Love it. But now I want to have her back on and ask her things. So are our voices on while you guys are fucking? Because if you're down with KC Radio, you can really get down at the interview uh so give it a listen and i as a

like card carrying member of the like joe burrow dick riding you know fanatics club i have been swayed i want the rams to win i want matthew stafford to get his chance. Rams fan. Rams fan for life. So if I can be swayed by this. What? Fam. Fam. Ram fam. We're Ram fam. Hashtag Ram fam over here.

And because Joey Burrow is going to get his time. He's got to pay his dues. He will get his championship. This one's for Matthew Stafford and Kelly. So give it a listen. Kelly Stafford here on KFC Radio. What's up? You guys, I'm so excited for y'all.

Yeah, let's do it. Are you good to go over there? Yeah, I think we're good. Are we good? Yeah, we're good. Let's dive right in. We got Kelly Stafford on the show, hooked up through the infamous Sophie,

who is like the big, like the internet matchmaker when it comes to Barstool and guests like this. She is just connecting the dots for all these years now. And as I understand it, you're only doing a couple shows this media week. So thanks for putting us on the list. Honestly, y'all were top of the list. I love you guys. Now you're pulling my leg.

You got to shoot higher then. No, this is the truth. No, this is the truth. Maybe, but it's the truth. No, you guys are Matthew and I's guilty pleasure. I'm not even kidding. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What's guilty about it?

Well, it's not guilty. You're right. Why can't we just be a pleasure? I guess it's a guilty pleasure because we have to wait until the kids are in bed, you know, that type of thing. But no, we thoroughly enjoy you guys. I mean, the amount of laughs we thoroughly enjoy you guys it i mean the amount of laughs we have with you guys is is awesome so i was so pumped when sophie told me this was happening i'm gonna be totally honest real quick i'm i'm like hot and bothered like i i'm i'm

beyond flattered and i'm uncomfortable but thank you very much there there's like that's what i'm here for to make you uncomfortable i think there's's like two things you can say to either member of this podcast. It's either like a compliment on our hair or say that you listen to our podcast. That's it. That's the only thing. Guys, the hair looks great too. I mean, I know it's a three-year-old. Stop a go on.

Although you have a hat on, so I guess I don't really know what you're – but the beer is great have you have you been listening for a while or are you yeah you know it's podcasts are new for us but um a good amount but you know the whole barstool family in general we we love and uh feel like we connect with i don't know maybe because we're all the same age and we laugh at the same shit i have no idea but um we do we thoroughly enjoy the same age and we laugh at the same shit. I have no idea. But we do. We thoroughly enjoy just getting on and listening to you guys. Love it. Love to hear it.

Since you brought up Matt, I do have just one quick question. Let's say one day when Matt retires, which will probably happen, right? Yes, it will. Do you think he'll thank the city of detroit in his uh retirement statement um yes he will yeah i know that city means a lot to us we can't say anything bad about that place besides the weather is terrible but uh no he for sure will and you know matthew tends to say all the right things but i'm hoping if he gets on some of y'all's stuff that he'll open up a little bit.

Cause dude is funny. I mean, funny and inappropriate, but chooses not to show that version of himself. Does that, that's gotta suck. Yeah. I mean, obviously for Matthew, but also for you, like knowing someone's real side and knowing that he just gets up there and has to answer the questions the right way and all that shit. Right. We were actually talking about the other day. He was saying, you know, he had an interview with actually some of our friends, um, Aaron Andrews and Chris Thompson. He's like, I hate it because I feel like I just have to like

play the part. And I was like, you have been in this league for too long. Stop playing the part. You've played the part, be yourself. Let it fucking rip. I mean, say it cuss word every now and then. Yeah. I know, but you know what? He's like, it's my first year in this organization, so I gotta make sure I'm, you know, being good. Well, I think he's good now. I think he can do whatever the fuck

he wants. If he wins the Super Bowl, he's gonna let loose, and I'm praying it happens solely for that reason. I mean, a lot for him. I'm hoping it for him, but I'm hoping he does it so he can just show his true colors. That's a great reason to want to win the Super Bowl, so I can swear in public again. It would be nice. I feel like I can feel a lot better about myself and my language.

So I'm here for it. I feel like at the same time though you have this podcast and and you've known to mix it up with fans and whatnot is there like a is there kind of like bro i don't i don't i'm not the i don't play quarterback i'm not in the league i can say whatever i want there there is but there's also my husband sitting at home going hey you you're also a representation of me in a way so like can we just you know pull it back just like i will say the podcast he kind of lets me ride um i don't like i'm sure y'all are too busy but there is um a segment on uh and don can sue in one of my podcasts and um i made him listen

to it to make sure it was okay to air it and he was like yeah let that let that shit fly i'm like great um so yeah i there is there is definitely a part of me that has to be rolled in. And he's doing it less. But, you know, I'm kind of a wild, I'm an open page or wild one or wild card. I don't know how you call it. But I'm a wild card. So, yeah, like the San Fran incident was definitely a Kelly moment. Was that like, yeah, was Matthew like, yeah, no surprise here,

but like everyone else is shocked by it, but not really that big of a deal? Yeah. You know what? He looked at me and he was like, well, two things. I wish I was playing better. So then you wouldn't get so, you know, upset or people wouldn't be talking shit. And I want to bet he was in the first five minutes of the game, but it's okay. What was the other thing?

You got so hot, you're so in. I wish I had your accuracy. Was that working, your accuracy? Yeah, he was like, I wish I had your accuracy that game. Clearly, you had more accuracy than I did. So, yeah, you know what? He's kind of used to it. As long as I don't touch on my

politics, which I did once, which was a disaster, you know, he's kind of used to it as long as i don't touch on my politics which i did once which was a disaster um you know he's pretty much like you're good just you know isn't it so stressful it's so stressful having just a significant other and a podcast people don't understand how hard it is because you're gonna say you don't think that anyone else can hear you and then everyone else fucking hears you it doesn't make sense you know you're talking to a microphone but for some reason you think no one will ever hear who cares i'm so i'm right there with you i feel like he gets like nervous he's like all right what did you talk about and i'll tell him he's like okay that's that's okay but i always feel like that i feel like no one's listening i'm like this is fine. I think when it was in our guest house, he felt more comfortable.

He was like, definitely no one's listening. But now that we're in the studio and Action Park's behind me, he's like, shit, there's a lot of people listening now. Okay, tell me what you said today. Relax, it's fine. But yeah, we have a good time with it.

He'll listen to it the day before it goes up just to confirm everything's okay. But it passed, you know, however many weeks. He's like, I don't care. I just don't care. I was going to say, it's like, I think we've learned, like the whole world has figured out that people are not, like everyone's a person.

Like you can be an athlete. You can be famous for whatever reason. And you still say the same sort of shit and do the same sort of things it's like yes i think for the most part people have kind of started to accept that that you're not fucking robots that like who who would talk this way of course you guys have a personality and your own feelings and yeah wouldn't people want us to be the normal people that talk this you know talk the same and and they don't we don't pull like i don't know like Well, here's the thing. It doesn't change.

It's very, the internet is a fickle beast because it's like, I don't know how or why, but there are certain people that just sometimes are viewed as likable. And then there are certain people that get vilified. And it's like, and it's really sometimes through no fault of your own, where all of a sudden everything you say on the internet is taken the wrong way, or people are, you know, coming at you rather than like, like, Brittany Matthews and Jackson Mahomes, where it's like, everything that girl does right now is viewed as, you know, I saw people saying, what about the people who had to drive home, you spraying them with champagne they might get a dui like what are you talking about you know whereas i bet i bet if you popped a bottle people would be like oh my god matthew stafford's wife is so supportive and fun and cool it's like what's the difference there you know oh i don't i don't know if they'd be saying that about me um and if i if i pop the bottle i would i I think I I'd spray myself. If you know, well, I almost did in the NC championship,

but I backed off off that, but like, yeah, it sucks. I want to be honest, they're young. I don't know how young Brittany and Jackson are. And obviously I've, I've seen it. I've been through my own fair share of shit that, you know, you look back and you're like, Ooh, yeah, that wasn't the best decision. But you just have to sometimes own it and just say, shit, that was the wrong decision. I'm sorry. And move on and hope that people will move on with you.

And if they don't, you know, that's their decision. But, yeah, it's crazy to watch what's happening over there. And I hate to say it. I mean, I don't know. I don't dive into it too much, guys, because I just, you know, I try to stay away from it. But I feel for her a little bit like she is getting absolutely crushed. And again, I'm unaware of everything. I am unaware. So I don't want to talk too much on that.

But, yeah, she is definitely, you know the the villain over there which i i couldn't imagine going through there there are like times where you and they are so young so it is it is hard to like really they're so young yeah and but it is like there's like the champagne i have no problem with i think i think anyone who got upset about that is is lunis it says crazy town but then like the free britney shirts if she's leaning into that that's hilarious if she if she's genuinely feeling like i have a conservatorship that's nuts but i mean it's it's one of those things it's like it's all it's all based on the perception of them because if i thought that was a funny if i thought she was a funny person and if i knew her better

and and maybe she is a funny person, I think that was hilarious. But because I don't know her that well, I'm like, what is that all about? I know. And I totally agree. And I like try to put myself in her. She was like,

Hey, if Matthew was on a super bowl winning team when we were 19, 20, 21, I don't know how old I was. I was 19 when I moved to Michigan. Who knows what I would be doing? Right, right.

You know, we went through the thick of Detroit. And I think that really actually was very important for us. But yeah, there were no champagne celebrations in Michigan. So, you know, we came through this a different route. Yeah, so wait, how long have you guys been together his entire career? Since college, yeah. Wow yeah jesus that's crazy and our our college relationship was you know the typical uh college i would say relationship where there wasn't really one yeah uh because he didn't he didn't want one that asshole um could you blame him could you blame him no No, I couldn't. That was the problem. I was like, I understand, but damn it.

So yeah, we went back and forth there for a little bit with the love-hate. And then when things started to get serious was when he was talking about leaving. So yeah, it was... That was a crazy ride, but we've been together since college. Or maybe right before the heat went through.

Are you still... When you get in a fight, are you still bringing up things from college? Are there any moments like, you remember that time in fucking junior year? You know what? We hadn't. We hadn't.

But some of my podcast is our story because it's a funny, it's a really funny fucking story because we were all over the place. I dated the backup to piss him off. That was the type of situation we were in. You dirty dog. That is fucking grimy. You deserve whatever was coming your way after that move. Listen, he deserved it, okay?

He totally deserved it. I respect that. Wait, wait, wait. Hang on. Hang on. Thank you. As fucked up of a move that is from you, that backup is crazy. What is he doing?

You know what? He was like the bad boy. You know, Matthew's like this genuine soul, and then it was the bad boy. Yeah, but he's the backup. If I'm Matthew, I'm sending the offensive line after him. Like, get this guy off the fucking team. Get him out of here. I mean, I don't think he saw the field after that.

Yeah. So there might have been some of that hope it was worth it you know what it got to i was gonna say and it might have been john you might have been i'm not gonna lie but in the end you know what in the end i always told him we ended up together and we had to go through all of it so the backup had to happen yeah i mean it got his attention so here we go god bless the broken road as rascal flat say yeah you're aging yourself again yeah that song was a heater i was a sophomore to be a junior in high school that song was hot it was i i was right there with you i agree right there was uh as as you're watching, like, the, knowing now that he got out, if you will, and he's in L.A.

And, you know, at least has made it to a Super Bowl. Is it like, I guess it's just like playing in Detroit is such a unique experience to Detroit. And like, to be a guy that was there his whole career up until this point. And then like your family is there. And I was saying prior to like him getting to LA, he was going to be one of those guys who like his numbers are hall of fame worthy, but the team was never winning and blah, blah, blah. And now having a chance to like do that, it almost, I just,

it's a very unique experience for like him and the whole family that not many athletes get to go through. You know what? I, I, and not when you say that, I think about like the Calvin Johnsons of the world. Um, and the fact that we did have the opportunity to leave, um, that, that Detroit gave us that opportunity or gave him, sorry, say us, gave him that opportunity. Um, but I think the 12 years in Detroit is what made Matthew the player he is today I mean it made him he had to be tough as hell it made him put shit on his back when you would hope you know he's

carrying it felt like he was carrying the team the organization in that city because to be honest they rely they are sports driven and I love Michigan for that I really do I'm a sports girl I grew up playing like Michigan is fun when it comes to that but when you're not winning it's not fun um so that that was tough but it also made matthew the the man he is today the person that goes on that field when we're down the fourth quarter because in detroit we were down a lot that doesn't think twice about it it's like i'm gonna go play ball and i'm gonna make i'm gonna try to make this work um so i do think those 12 years were super important not only to him but our family went through a lot in michigan um and coming here with all the expectations put on him like you make to the super bowl or your failure um that was felt that's a tough thing for year one yeah that's a pretty high bar

it's a pretty it's a it's i mean that's basically the epitome right like that's what you want to get to um but you know he welcomes that me on the other hand i'm a nervous wreck i'm like oh my gosh did we make the right decision like you have to get this rule hell we didn't even want a playoff game in michigan like i'm like and now we're expected to make it all the way um but you know what he welcomes that he like loves that shit i'm i'm not really that type i'm just not that you know brave i don't know i don't know what the word is but um yeah i think to be honest without michigan this doesn't happen in a way even if we are drafted to a awesome team clint matthew would not be the player he is today right so um i i like thank grateful for michigan and that's why he will be thanking

michigan when he wins this when he retires or whatever um so so yeah i again michigan huge part and they're a huge part of why he's here today so how how has like your job so to speak evolved like since because matt's been in the league for what 12 how many years you've been in the league this is the 13th year 13th year so like we're old as shit too i was actually i was high school uh college roommates with people who went to high school with Matthew. So we are right around the same age. Oh, really? Yeah. But the – what's up?

What are their names? Damien and Ross. I think Ross played football with them there. But the – Okay. All right. Highland Park, right? Hyde Park?

Highland Park. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But how has your job changed, really? Because I feel like the wives and girlfriends, way back when, like early internet days, it used to be like, here are the wags of athletes. It would be like a slideshow of women in bikinis. And then now I feel like it's almost become,

like the wives and girlfriends are almost mini reality shows where like like the instagram like like i've i've had friends who are like obsessed with up here in new england like mackenzie andrews um and and sydney esiason like they like love the kids love like it's almost like a look into the athlete's life do you is that something you're conscious of or is it just like that's my instagram that's what oh yeah no you know oh yeah i'm conscious of or is it just like, that's my Instagram, that's what happens? Oh, yeah. No, you know, oh, yeah, I'm conscious of it. I know all of my following follows me because of who I'm married to. So I'm very conscious of that. Now, all those people I feel like you were naming are very young.

So the mini reality might, I'm not like this. I mean, I'm fun, but I'm definitely not going to put it out there on social media, everything I'm doing, because I probably get frowned upon. It's not even a fun thing. It's more like it is like they like the kids. They like seeing like the behind the scenes of like a family, really, which I guess would also be like everybody. It is.

And I do put out, you know, I'll put everyday stuff out there with my kids and Matthew with the girls, because it's a side that people don't see. It's also a side that he tends to not want people to see. So that's a balance that we have to come up with as well. Matthew's a very private person. He hates the spotlight. This week has been absolute hell for him. Like everyone's stopping him. He's like, I just I don't I'm not comfortable. Like, oh my god, I do I need to do this for you. But yeah,

no, he it's, it is like a mini, you know, taste into their lives and their everyday lives, especially off season. But, you know,

I'm hoping again, if, if he wins this one or when he wins, I'm just going to put it out there that he'll calm down and, and let me post the fun things, you know, the things that the, the statement or the comments he made, he made where he's like, you can't put that up. You should have a segment called You Can't Put That Up.

Yeah. And once he gets his Super Bowl, he has to agree to let you put it up. And it's just all the things that Matthew Stafford's wanted to say for the last 15 fucking years. I mean, it would be so good. Like, you guys would be so entertained the dude is fucking funny and like to be honest he really is and to be honest he looks at me the other day he was like so if we win and i was like when you win he's like when we win should i do like an instagram just one post and then shut it down i'm like oh he's going jay-z with it hell yeah that would be pretty fucking cocky that would

be that would be a move i mean i was like what is that like what does that give you and he's like i don't know to say that i had social media one time i'm like yes listen you and the super bowl do whatever the hell you want i don't care has he never had any any social media at all he had twitter for like a hot second and then was like, too many people have access to me. Yeah. Twitter is, I would never, I would advise against having a Twitter at this point for any human. But certainly people who have a lot to lose and a lot on their plate. But not having Instagram.

He kicked me off of Twitter. He kicked you off? He kicked me off of Twitter. Oh, yeah? That's probably for the best it was definitely are you just sitting there on sunday just like fuck you fuck you fuck you know yes and i got absolutely like one fan came back i was like i'm tired of hearing all the boos for our home team or whatever and he wrote back yes i'm tired of your husband passing it to the wrong team. I was like, that's fair.

Damn it. I was like, nah, this is probably not. But, I mean, for so long, the whole time, Matthew Stafford was never the problem. You know, the numbers speak for themselves. The, you know, fourth quarter comebacks, the yardage, the touchdown. I mean, the only thing missing was basically what he can't control. And that's where if you're sitting on social media and you're thinking about that and you want to defend, you literally cannot

win. It's like an impossible battle. Yes. The no-win situation, for sure. So he immediately was like, just, you need to get off. And I was like, I love Twitter. Because, you know, I'm a woman and I love to get, you know, I love to fight a little bit. That's one of my favorite quotes.

He's like, exactly why you need to get off. One of my favorite quotes ever about Twitter was someone asked Clooney if he had Twitter and Clooney said, I like to drink and I like to fight. So no. And I was like, yes. That is like a perfect response. I mean, that's really all social media, but but i mean you can't get rid of all that you can but so i can't in that 49ers incident was that yes so you throw the pretzel at this yeah

i throw a piece a piece of a pretzel okay it's like literally tea tiny that's it that's it that's an important part of the story i thought you were hurling like a bavarian pretzel from the movie theater like like frisbeeing it at him. No, I took a piece and I don't even think it was salted. What was the last straw that made you throw it? What was the final thing that he said? It had, I mean, honestly, it's all a blur. It was just about my family. And, and I, I'm a very loyal person and I was done. And I think Matthew had already thrown a pick at this family. And I'm a very loyal person. And I was done. And I think Matthew had already thrown a pick at this point.

And I was just over it. And when I threw it, y'all, I literally threw it like this. Like, I just threw it behind my head. I didn't, like, chuck it. I honestly didn't even think it would hit him. It hit him, I guess, square on the head. I didn't see it because I threw it behind me. Like, just, like, shut up.

And he just ran and got security. That's a bitch move. Like, that's downright insane. Like, that truly is. I don't even care. If a man, like, threw a pretzel at me, I'd be like, I don't know. Who cares? To get mad at a quarterback's wife is crazy.

So, and, you know, it was probably the goal that was intended which also sucks but you know what i um i don't want to say too much because i'm afraid i'm gonna get sued by this man i'm not even kidding he like he scares me oh yeah and immediately security's like she didn't throw it because i i don't drink a game because i i've been getting sick because i'm so nervous um and they're talking to me there she's completely sober she definitely didn't throw I don't drink at games because I've been getting sick because I'm so nervous. And they're talking to me. She's completely sober. She definitely didn't throw it.

And I was like, no, I threw it. Hand off. You're right. I am completely sober, but I did throw it. Yeah, that's on me. I did do that. It was a piece of her pretzel. I didn't think he was going to go get so hot and bothered about it.

But yeah, I offered to buy him drinks and food, and he stood up. I told him, I was like, listen, it was me. This is why I did it, I offered to buy him drinks and food and he stood up. I told him, I was like, listen, it was me. This is why I did it. Offered to buy him drinks and food. And he stood up and basically said, this is Kelly Stafford. She threw it, get her out. And I was like, okay, dude, really?

How old was he? I don't know how old he was, but he was older than me. He was probably, he's probably like, he's probably y'all's age. Oh, you bitch. You bitch. Damn it. No like he's probably y'all's age oh you bitch so i'm like i'm basically y'all's age i'm i'm 30 i'm 32 i'm basically y'all's age so um so yeah i uh it was i don't know i just that moment i was just i was fed up at that point and i literally looked at him and i said it's probably best that that just happened because

the friends that are with me weren't going to be so nice about it and they escorted all of us out because uh the guys behind me are like our close our matthew and i's closest friends and they were hearing all of it and weren't sober like me um and so it was probably the best case scenario that we got escorted elsewhere during that game right yeah it it probably worked out for us. But damn it, I was like, did it really hit him? I wish my dad didn't teach me throw so damn well. So anyways, yeah, one of those moments that I wish I could probably just be like, not my best, but come on.

It wasn't his fault. Yeah, I know. Those are the moments where you're like, we're going to be this soft. I mean, but at the same time, you have to remember, you have to remember that was probably his goal. And to just like, let it ride. I'm like, well, you know, I'm not one to just let shit ride.

Like, I don't, if people talk bad about you, I'm going to say something. Right. Whatever. It is what it is. We beat him in the end, so it's fine. I hope he was at that game. What is, what is it like for you this week? So it's a lot for him to take in, but I mean, it's new for you too,

being on, you know, the successful side of these things is a lot different. Yeah. Um, I'm realizing that going to the Superbowl is a lot of fun for everybody else. Um, there is a, you know, there's so many fun things happening, but because it's in LA, um, I'm trying to make it as normal as possible for Matthew, like a normal work week. So I'm doing fun things happening but because it's in la i'm trying to make it as normal as possible for matthew like a normal work week so i'm doing fun things um but it's you know it'll be fun i we're just gonna go like literally wake up that morning hop on a bus head down there pray we get

in on time with all these damn lines um and just i don't throw up for the game but yeah it's a it's a wild week i mean lots lots of coordinating and like lots of people asking for things where i'm like i i don't see the ticket prices i don't have spare tickets like it's not i wish i did it's not that type of situation right now um so you know i'm looking forward to the game being here because it's kind of a lot right now. I'm trying not to show stress because I'm sitting across the dinner table from Matthew, which in a normal Super Bowl week, that's not the case because the team goes, you know. Right. And you don't see him. But right now I'm like sitting across the table.

I have this person begging me. And I'm like, oh, yeah yeah we're at dinner let me just like put my phone down and be with him and talk to him about anything else so anyways it'll be a crazy week but it'll be fun it'll hopefully end up with a you know when and it is matthew's birthday today he's 34 oh wow happy birthday matthew yeah totally forgot about it had to text him later and be like our four-year-old daughter reminded me that it's your birthday that's crazy you forgot his birthday for real birthday during super bowl week okay well it serves him right he forgets my birthday like every year how is this possible

yeah we have a lot going on i don't know i going on. I don't know. I hear about this. I see this in movies all the time with people forgetting their significant other's birthday. That's crazy. Oh. That happens all the time. Oh, he's forgot my birthday. Yeah, but he – My birthday is in August. August what?

He's getting hit in the head. He has an excuse. You don't have no excuse. This is bullshit. Listen, he's got the CTE over there. I am here with him. I have to deal with it. He has it. Okay? No, yeah. around me you don't have no excuse this is bullshit cte over there okay um no yeah august 2nd so it's right in the little training camp so obviously you know he's got a lot going on too but

i have a lot going on right now i know he's about to play the super bowl yeah but i you got people that actually honestly your job i might i might think you have the tougher job this week and in the dealing with people asking for tickets. And that's the worst, dealing with people like that. We've had barstool parties before and there's stuff during Super Bowl week where people are like, can you get me in? And that's just guest list, let alone into the fucking Super Bowl itself. That has to be – because you don't want to say no. And then you've got to be the bad guy just by saying no or being unable to do something.

You're the bad guy. It's like or being unable to do something. You're the bad guy. It's like, oh, what do you mean? Yeah. And they're like, I mean, it's like people text me expecting tickets, not even asking, expecting. I'm like, do you see these ticket prices? I love you, but I don't love you that much. Come to the first. I'll have a ticket for you for the first game next year.

Okay. Like, that's the best I can do. How many people have reached out? Oh, i hundreds way too many yeah probably so you know matthew and i have a a fun you know relationship because of the fact we have high school friends and college friends that we're all friends together and that group is ride or die group and they've been with us through michigan in the 12 years and come support us in michigan and so they're they're all coming that's like a group of like 30 to 40 um yeah so that's it that's like you're you're that's you're filled up 30 to 40 people i'm tapped and then i have my own family like my and his family and our girls which is going to be

chaos getting in um but mat But Matthew wants the girls there. Yeah, I was going to say, so you have, what, four kids? We have four kids, yeah. And they're four and unders. They're babies. I mean, they're young. And you're going to have them there? We are, yeah.

So, again, once in a lifetime. You never know. Hopefully it's not once in a lifetime, but that's, you know, it could be. And he wants them there. So I'm going to pay a fortune to bring my four kids who won't remember but i was gonna say and forget about the fortune just thinking about so now you've not to not to scare you here but you're gonna be like you said trying focusing on not puking and throwing up you're gonna be watching the game of your life as well

and you're gonna have four under four. It's a disaster. Honestly, thinking about it, it gives me anxiety. I mean, I don't know what I'm going to do. Yeah,

I know. And it's going to be way past bedtime. I mean, they're going to be tired. They're going to be cranky. They're going to hate life. The only thing that saves me is I don't let them use iPads unless we're out of game.

Okay. I was going to say it's iPad for five hours straight on Sunday. Yes, and they'll do it. But then again, I'm sitting there and I'm like, we just paid so much money for y'all to sit on your iPads. Whatever. Whatever. It'll all be worth it

when the confetti is coming down. Like four kids crawling on him. It'll be an amazing moment. You keep saying these words paid so much money. What do you mean? You gotta pay for everything? The quarterback's kids have to pay to go to the game? Oh, yeah.

It's not. Yes! The quarterback of the fucking Super Bowl can't get anybody in for free? No. No free tickets. Get out of here! Not even a plus one thank you oh maybe we do get two comp tickets i think we get two comps i think you have the option to buy at market value like 10 more tickets or something yeah at market value and

then your ass is on ticketmaster which i have been like spending and i mean seven grand for nosebleeds that's the most ridiculous thing i've ever heard it's outrageous who's buying those i remember i got me i went to uh i went to the pats uh ram super bowl in atlanta um okay a few years ago that's where i'm from and from. And I have a friend who was on a team, and he was like, he's like, yeah, I'll get you tickets. But he's like, it's the same kind of deal. He's got face value, no big deal. And I was like, word. And this is a couple years ago.

And I was like, all right, sounds good. And he's like, here, call this number. She'll take care of you. So I call it, and I'm like, hey, can I get three tickets? She's like, yep, no problem uh it'll be 24 000 and i was like oh i misunderstood the deal we had i thought i was just getting tickets i was like i don't have 24 000 for tickets listen i don't know who your friend is but he's totally saying to a scalper because that is not face value. I'm not getting any money out of you or something. They were great seats.

Even in this game. They were really good seats, but it wasn't nosebleeds. I was like 12th row behind the bench, but it wasn't fucking cheap. I'll tell you that. Did you go? Yeah, I called and asked my dad. I was like, Dad, I got to borrow some money, bro. I am here for it. Do what you got to do.

That is so good. Yeah, all my friends are like, yeah, we'll take nosebleeds because that's all we can afford. I'm like, okay, at the face value or whatever. So that's where all of them will be sitting. But, yeah, all those people just, I don't know. It was a lot. It's a lot to coordinate. It's expensive as hell to's a lot to coordinate.

It's a lot of, it's expensive as hell to play in the Superbowl. You really understand it once you're here. I remember Sarah Ryan, Matt Ryan's wife, when they went to the Superbowl, she was telling me that same thing. She's like, it is really expensive to go to the Superbowl.

And I was like, okay, not that bad. You're going to the Superbowl. I don't feel, yeah, I don't feel that bad for you. But now that I'm sitting here,

I'm like, damn, it's expensive. She was not kidding. Now you, but you know, once in a feel that bad for you. Now that I'm sitting here, I'm like, damn, that's expensive. She was not kidding. But, you know, once in a lifetime. It's okay. I'm telling myself that. I'm glad you brought up Sarah Ryan because you recently told a tale about Sarah where you guys were playing volleyball.

And Leo looked her ear. Guys, it was – honestly, I felt really bad about how bad this story blew up. Wait, what? I am unaware of this one. Tell me the story. So Matt and Sarah and Matthew and I are really close friends. We met them at a Pro Bowl a few back. We lived in the same neighborhood in Atlanta.

Long story short, we go on this vacation and we run into Leonardo DiCaprio. And his girlfriend at that time was Nina Aguilera. This was a very long time ago, just so we know, because I feel like when it blew up, it was like recent. It was not recent. We had a good time. We played them in volleyball. We played them in ultra-christianity.

How did Leo hold up against two professional athletes? That's not fair. I was just like, he keeps challenging them in sports. I don't understand it. But, you know what, whatever. We'll do whatever Leo wants. We're over here like, he keeps challenging them in sports. I don't understand it. But you know what? Whatever. We'll do whatever Leo wants. We're over here like, yes.

Whatever Leo wants to do, we will do. So we do that. Then we play a drinking game one night. We're playing beer pong. We play a drinking game. And have y'all, it's called a piccolo. Y'all heard of this? No.

Oh my gosh. It's a time. So it's on your phone. And it's basically like you're on your own team and it comes up with these dares or you have to drink and as the game gets going it gets a little you know dirtier or whatever and so meanwhile i get the phone i'm like all right leo lick sarah's ear five times or drink six sips four times i don't know what it was for fully thinking like okay he's just gonna like drink the sips y'all he like slow motion gets up and i'm looking at sarah like holy shit this is

happening like this is incredible i wish i had my phone but no i don't because then he wouldn't do it so he like slowly gets up starts walking over to to her. And I'm looking at Matthew. I'm like, and Matthew's like, man, this is happening. And he gets in her ear. In the hole? Oh, it was so good. It was one of the good ones. And you know what?

We were like laughing about it later that night. I was like, all right, I'm going to take a shower, go to bed. She was like, yeah, I'm never, ever taking a shower. Yeah, I was going to say, who, take a shower, go to bed. She was like, yeah, I'm never, ever taking a shower. Who's not laughing about that? Matt Ryan. I'm sure Matt's over there. Like, yes.

Yeah. Are you kidding me? It's Leo. 100%. I mean, would you get your ear licked by Leo? Yes, absolutely.

Hell yeah. Yeah, that's exactly whatever you want. If I was Matt, i'd be like you're not looking at my wife's ear you're looking my ear get in here big guy can we change the name i can't say can we change the names on the phone who's making my name but people came after me after i told that story like i can't believe you would want another man to lick your ear and i was like he's first of all y'all need to relax and have some confidence in yourselves yeah but like second of all it is not just another man

yeah like come on but yeah anyways that story it's a it's a good one it's a good vacation story that's a story like not uh nine hundred nine nine million nine or nine thousand times out of whatever a million. Matthew Stafford and Matt Ryan are sitting at the table. They are those dudes. They are the guys. This is the one time where they're like, oh, fuck. Yeah.

And, you know, as well, we're sitting there and Nina Agdahl is there. First of all, we're playing volleyball with Nina Agdahl. I'm sure Matthew's just, like, in a tranceance, like can't even focus because the girl is beautiful. And I mean, I feel like I'm like that. I'm like, got you. It's good. And then there was another model that was with his friend. And then there's Sarah and I.

We've had kids. We're like, oh, this is just, you know, we're looking down ourselves like, well, at least we have something good. I'm pretty sure you're holding your own, girls. We are the ones on the line while courts say the same thing. Like, damn it. These girls look good. But anyways, it was a trip of a lifetime. I mean, things we'll never forget.

But yeah, I got in a little bit of trouble for telling that story, and I'm glad I just told it again. Listen, if that's what's public, if those are the stories that you could tell, I don't even want to know what happened late night and throwing the keys in the bowl. This shit is not being told. Get out of here. That's going to be for a podcast when he's done.

I bring all the things down. We're going to go through them because there's some good stories out there. Is that something that's happened more often now, like those kind of celebrity-type run-ins in L.A.? Detroit, I figure you guys you guys probably hung out with Kid Rock all the time but now it's the the window's a little wider you know what we did we did kind of hang out Kid Rock Bobby is his name a little bit first name basis with Kid Rock huh how's Kid Rock party I I mean, he's fun.

He's a good time. Matthew knows more than I do about that. And I'll just let that rest over there. So I've become friendly with the band OAR. And their first concert tour they ever did was opening for Kid Rock. And they had to clear it with their parents. They were so young. They were like, Mom, we're going on tour with Kid Rock.

There are strippers on stage and flamethrowers in use very often. And I imagine it's kind of just gone up from there. Oh, yeah. What a wild ride he's had. I mean, we had some fun, or he had some fun with them, but he also, you know, he stayed in his lane. So, yeah, we get here, and it's wild here. I mean, our neighborhood is filled with the a a list celebrities um we're like a z list celebrity or he sorry not me he is a z list celebrity in our neighborhood um and so that's been kind of a crazy i mean our neighbor in

michigan was a 95 year old guy named ron um love him death. He would always get our mail during the off season like he's a sweetheart. But the change of pace that we had moving from Detroit to LA was pretty good. Who's the neighbor now? Who'd it go? Ron to who? Kylie Jenner. That's amazing.

You guys got to get everybody together ron kylie oh i mean we and like our friends we all laugh our asses off like we're like you went from ron to kylie and i'm like i yeah i know and how is kylie the neighbor have you had any interactions with her yeah she's actually she's super kind um she's obviously very mature for her age. I forget how young she is. She just had her second baby. Yeah. Angel. A few days ago or whatever. Yeah.

Is that his name? That's what the internet sleuths have detected, yes. I don't know if that's true. Wait, what's the name? His name is Angel? Angel, I believe. All of their friends are commenting on the post, can't wait to meet my little angel.

And I think people will decipher that. Oh, interesting. Yeah. Oh, well, I was going to ask her, but I guess you just broke the news for me. No, she's really kind. She had us over for Stormy's birthday, which I thought was very nice. We were, you know, that was a little stressful because I was like, please don't just fuck anything up. I just can't have that on my plate right now.

Because, you know, like, it's like a big deal it's a big deal and they're kids they don't give a shit you know they're just running around destroying things and i'm like oh my god okay i don't know how much longer i can take this no i i have two kids and anytime i'm a guest somewhere i'm freaking out you got you got double that and you're at fucking Kylie Jenner's house. And I have like, yes. And Kim's sitting here and Courtney over there and it's me. And I'm like, hello, I'm the neighbor.

What do you even bring? What do you show up with? So she's been to our house once or twice and we have this mini slide that goes into the pool it's like a blow-up thing and she loves it so that's what we got which i thought was great yeah it's perfect gift i'm sure they opened it we're like what is this but you know what that's not true because i don't

care how rich you are kids are the great equalizer where it's like you know like my kid likes this little slide that was 24.99 from fisher Price or whatever. Like, doesn't matter. They bring you back down to a humble life. They're like, they don't care about anything designer. They're ruining a hot second. I mean, I can't, I could never put my little ones. You know, we were given some stuff, but they spit up on it. And then you're a hot mess because you're like, how much?

I mean, I don't know. Just, it's too much. So the slide was great. I think it was a big hit i don't know she didn't open any gifts but there was a raising canes truck do y'all okay do you guys know raising canes at all i know that's when i hear about that yeah it's like uh you have to have it before you die sort of thing right god it's like do you guys know zack's piece which isn't good but it's backspace i know okay well it's it's probably like a 20 step up from Zaxby's. It's a best fried chicken

sitting in her driveway. And meanwhile, all I want is some Raising Cane's, but my kids, I'm like, alright, let's go get some food. They're like, no! All mommy wants is some damn Raising Cane's. Get out of the house. Kim, can you watch the kids for a second? I'm going to go get some chicken.

Yo, Kanye, grab me some Raising Cane's on your way back. Oh, my God. Y'all, I was so out of place. But you know what? They were all so nice. It felt like a barbecue. All of them were nice and completely down to earth when I met them all. And so it was fun.

It was just a little stressful on my end. And, of course, Matthew comes home. He's like, how'd the party go? I'm like, it was good. And he was like, yeah, I was going to come by but some golf thing was on. I was like, you could have walked your ass

across the street and helped me. Meanwhile, you're just sitting at the house watching golf. He's like, yeah, you know, it's Saturday. It's my day to relax. He was like, you know what? Back up. Back up. That's all I got to say. Exactly. He's like, don't give me shit for this like i can't believe you just made me do that by myself but anyways it was fun they're good they're all good people but there are some i mean like i keep learning about different people in our neighborhood um which is a wild

time i mean miss ron i do i pardon me mrs ron a little bit yeah he's also like our security which i'm realizing you know everyone has in our neighborhood but um like he'll like not let people in our you know driveway or whatever but uh a funny story too is we little wayne is uh on the way like next to us as well and every time we drive by my girls, they're like, mommy, little Wayne's house. Do you even know what little Wayne looks like? No, but daddy tells us little Wayne's house. I was like, well, you know, he has like long hair, whatever. They're like, no, he's a boy. I'm like, okay, you're gonna have to learn this quick, especially being in California. Boys can have long hair. Okay. So just because it's a boy doesn't mean they can't have long hair.

Right. So that, you know, they're going to have some lessons to be learned, but it's a, it's a wild time here. And it's, yeah. I mean, so you probably went from what it's kid rocking Eminem and the Stafford family is probably like the three, you know, royalties of Detroit. Right. I, yeah.

I mean, I would say Matthew, but yeah, the royalties of Detroit. Yes. And which was, you know, a crazy experience. But yeah, now it's. Now it's like everybody. Now no one gives a shit, which is really nice. I was going to say, that's actually, you know, you went from Big Fish, Small Pond to, you know, you're just one of the other celebrities.

Just another. Yeah. It's it's really nice. Like in Michigan, you know, going out to dinner and going and taking the girls to the park, anything like that was a lot because, you know, you never want to be rude, especially to the fan base that's been so, you know, loyal in a way to you. So he obviously stopped and did it for everybody. But it got hard.

You know, that got hard after and especially the 12 years he was there. It just kept growing. His face was known and known and known. Then our girls faces were known and known and known. And so that that got a little, you know, different. But moving here was kind of like a breath of fresh air for him. Moving to L.A. Nice breath of fresh air. Like, oh, it's so easy. It's crazy. No, it is. No, it is crazy. But he blends in like we go to LA. It's a nice breath of fresh air. Like, oh, it's so easy now. It's crazy. No, it is crazy, but he blends in.

Like, we go to lunch. We do all these things. Now, I will say this past week has been a little crazy, but we can do all the normal things, which, like, if you get to know us, we're very normal people. Like, again, I mean, Matthew has been very fortunate enough, and we are very blessed financially and things of that nature.

But coming down, like if you spend time with us, I mean, we like to drink a good beer. We like to, you know, it's nothing, not everything's super fancy. I mean, we're both from the South. So take that for what that is. But yeah, so it's, it's, it is nice. And to be normal, which is, I feel like hard to do, but that's what it feels like for us because we feel like just a normal family here.

Right. Awesome. I mean, you're not, you're absolutely not, you know, but you are. But we are. Yeah. We blend. How, how are you health wise? Like clean bill of health with your brain and everything's good.

Yes. Everything's good. everything's good. Yes. Everything's good. That's amazing. Yes. It is a wild time. I had clean scans before we left Michigan and we'll do another set after this season. Um,

but I feel great. So I, I'm pretty sure those will be clean as well. Um, but yeah, what a crazy, what a nice little curve ball that was from life, huh?

Like in the middle of four kids and, you know professional yeah oh by the way we're gonna do brain tumors now how's that feel i it was and it was thrown at us a little bit we weren't expecting that obviously no one expects that news but you know we sat down with that doctor and they just literally like put it in my face it's like here's your brain tumor like what what right like didn't like don't foreplay at all. Into it. Yeah. Right. We got to get through this.

So here, here it is. Here you're watching. And I was like, okay. Yeah. It's like, that may just be another day at the office for you, doc,

but maybe a little bit side manner here, pal. I mean, I just had my third baby and I'm like, wait, what? Yeah. Yeah.

You know, it's going to continue to grow. So you need to figure out what, and I'm like, okay. I mean, I didn't say anything. I didn't ask anything. I think Matthew and I both blacked out. Yeah. And then, you know it's going to continue to grow so you need to figure out what and i'm like okay i mean i didn't say anything i didn't ask anything i think matthew and i both blacked out yeah and then you know we went through the whole thing and met with doctors and decided the best thing to do was just take it out and did it and yeah it was emotional time but you know what it

all all things in life happen for a reason and i feel like we grew individually as a couple and as a family so much during that, I'm sure because of how much we relied on each other that, you know, it set us up maybe for a move across the country and all the expectations that were thrown in. I don't know.

You know, it just makes you, yeah. It's like, you know, all of a sudden you start worrying about, you know, interceptions on Sunday and,

and what the other fans are saying on Twitter when you have a real scare like that, right? So it puts everything in perspective. It takes a brain tumor, but you know, sometimes it takes to get you off of Twitter. So here we are. Are you guys the only family in America right now who's like, fuck Joe Burrow?

Is everyone a Joe Burrow fan? What the hell? Joe Burrow's hot in the streets right now. Joe Burrow's cool. We have to agree Burrow's hot in the streets right now. Joe Burrow's cool. We have to agree. He's cool. He's a cool guy. He's cool, yes.

He's cool. How old is he? He's another one. He's like 21. No, he's like 25. Okay, see, I'm going to need him. I'm going to need him to spend some more time in this league before he goes and wins a two-role, okay?

We've been at it, or Matthew's been at it for a long time. It's our time. You can leave. No, I have seen, seen like obviously i see his pre-game attire which is amazing um and the shirts y'all made out of his stuff i mean meanwhile i'm over here like matthew stop wearing dad clothes we gotta get your likeliness up whatever but um no you know matthew i literally looked i was like do you know what you're wearing circle and he's like no like okay he's like i'll just find something in

my closet i'm like wait wait what if we put together an outfit for matthew right now how about some big baggy corduroy pants okay and then and then listen if you can dad up an outfit, he'll wear it. But unless it's like straight dad, like dad bod-ish kind of outfit, you know? Like a suit from the 1970s. It's all corduroy, okay? It's big. It's baggy. It's daddy.

It's... Like a statement. Dude, come on, Kelly! Spice it up. He's got to do his one Instagram post. He's got to look good for his one social media post. Everyone comes in dressing all flashy, all the jewelry, all this stuff.

Joe Burrow's got the sunglasses. Matt Stafford walks in like he's going into a Mad Men board meeting. The internet won't know what to do. Hey, that's it right there. Flared pants. Flared pants. All right. Smoking a cigarette.

Yeah, have them smoke a cig on the way in. They'll go great. Yeah, for a day. You can't do that. Look, dad smoked. I can smoke. No, listen. I'm going to get y'all.

We'll get y'all in contact and i'll let you guys handle that one because i have this even if i tell him to wear something he's like yeah no i'm not wearing that wait this is actually my assortment of hoodies we can give him sweatpants and hoodies for days if that's what he wants to roll in there that's that's i mean the the least flash the like the less flashy the better for that dude i mean you can't the one thing he does love is a good watch and it's usually covered by a jack i'm like great but listen when you are uh when you're a super bowl quarterback you do whatever the fuck you want okay whatever he wants to wear whatever he wants to do i say he's earned it probably more so than like any kind of like

what you said about burrow it's like put put you you need to pay some dues i mean the dude doing what he did in detroit and like and then making it happen here it's like there's there's really nobody else who deserves it more than that guy thank you please and please promote that come on seriously it's like and and it really is it's it would be such a nice it sucks that uh in terms of, you know, your legacy and your career, you do need to win one because it's, you know, out of your control. But it would just be like such a fucking career cementing, you know, event for him that would turn it from like, yeah, you had a great career. It's a Hall of Fame career to, you know, Super Bowl winning immortal career. It's crazy how much it can change. Yeah, it change yeah it would

be it would be amazing and i know i hope if he wins it he's like fuck it i'm doing whatever i want because that's the man i love you know that does things his way um but what was i gonna say i want to i want to see the man who skips kylie j's party. That's like, nah. Meaning when he knows I'm wrangling all the kids, he's like, ah, she can do that. That's from Miracle. When Herb Brooks yells at Jim Craig, I want the guy in the now who wouldn't take the test.

I want the guy who doesn't go to Kylie Jenner's party. Well, that's him. That's him for you. Yeah, that's so good. He, yes, I agree. He deserves this shit. And you know what? If it happens, great. We'll ride it out.

And, you know, you'll probably see him doing some drunk press conferences the next day, I'm sure. But, you know, if it doesn't happen, we'll back to the drawing boards and he'll just try again. I want to see a 13-year career, 12 years of the Detroit Lions, one year in L.A., Super Bowl winning, like, exhale. I don't know what that's – like, you saw Tom Brady in the little boat parade in Tampa. It's going to be childlike if Matthew Stafford shakes one down. And I will live for it, and I will document everything. And I will document just in case he gives me the green light.

No, it's going to be fine. And you know what? It's funny to see Detroit right now, you know, with all the support they're giving. It's a great, like, they are, I mean, loyal to the fact that Matthew was theirs for 12, and now they're acting, you know. They have, like, Detroit Rams shirts being sold out.

Because he did it right. Like, there's nobody nobody who's you know he he paid his dues he did everything he possibly could and like i don't think there's a lions fan alive that's not rooting for him right now he deserves all the support it reminds me to an extent of what we did in boston with before our run of success when i was very young with ray bork who was like our beloved defenseman on the Boston Bruins. He's the captain. He's the legend. And then I think – I forget how old he was. He was older than Matthew.

It was like his last year, one year left, two years left, whatever. And they traded him to the Colorado Avalanche so he could get a trophy. And then he brought the Stanley Cup back. And he got one? He got it. Yeah, you guys had a parade, right? We threw a parade for him in Boston. It was probably

97, maybe, something like that. It was before our succession. How amazing. If the Rams win on Sunday, Detroit's popping bottles. They got to take their wins where they can get

them. I know. I hope they do. I hope they do because they're a big part of it. They're a big part of the way, you know, why Matthew is the way he is. So I hope they do. I mean, but yeah, that whole city, that organization, they did us a huge, you know, favor. Well, they got a lot from Matthew.

I was going to say, I don't think it's a favor. I think it was like an equal relationship. Yeah, I agree. And y'all are right. Like I always thought, you know, the dude is has a broken back and I'm sitting there at the table and I'm like, please do not play. Cause there's nothing on the line. Right.

There's no playoff chance. I don't remember what year this was. And he's looking at me and he's like, no, I'm playing. I'm like, I don't, I don't get it. And he's like, well, and that's of guy. That's why I'm like, he just deserves it. That's the guy who then makes it to the Super Bowl. That's how he takes that type of mentality to do it.

I really do. Fingers crossed, man. It would be an epic ending. I would imagine the episode of the podcast post-Super Bowl would be a fun one. Oh, yeah. It would be definitely no sleep. How are you? How's the podcast world treating you?

It's good. It's fine. I mean, again, I started in my guest house, which was a hot mess, just to see what it entailed. I had no idea, you know, the amount of podcasts and the amount of people that do this. Coming to Action park was awesome they took me in and made me realize you know what it is actually about doing a podcast um but it's been fine i've enjoyed it i mean it's something that's my own you know like yeah absolutely yeah matthew has a small part of it but not really it's right so um and hopefully super bowl Bowl Monday or whatever, you know, Monday after Super Bowl, we'll be coming in on no sleep and discussing the victory.

That's that. Will you have Matthew Stafford as a guest on your podcast? I'm dragging his ass in. Too good not to. You better believe it. And I'm hoping, you know, we'll still have cocktails in our hand. I'm still in the clothes from the game or something like that. We'll see.

It depends on how late or early this podcast is going to be on Monday, but it'll be a fun one for sure. I'm pulling for it, girl. I am as well. You've swayed me. All right. I'm a big Joe Burrow fan. I like Joe Burrow as well, but this is Matt Stafford's Super Bowl.

We are a Rams household now. Okay, this is what I came here for, so I'll see you guys later. Just this way, you guys, all right? That's what I came on this podcast. Mission accomplished, girl. Thank you so much for the time, too. I appreciate it. No, it was so fun.

This is definitely by far my favorite one, so I appreciate it, guys. Next time, next after the Super Bowl is done and you guys have won, come on and we'll really chop it up and really have some fun and talk about all the weird shit. Put the kids to bed and get weird with it. That would be amazing. And can we have some shots lined up or something that every time someone does something, it's just –

Yes, we can. Yes, we can. Done deal. Don't have to twist my arm on that one. Let's do it. All right. Put my mom life on hold for a while and your dad life, I guess. Do you have kids too?

Fuck. Do I look like I have kids, Kelly? I don't know. You never know. There's a lot of people that don't look like they should have kids. No. I had kids. The state took them away.

Okay. See, there you go. That's what I'm talking about. All right. Good luck. To be clear, I'm kids. The state took them away. Okay, see, there you go. That's what I'm talking about. All right, good luck. To be clear, I'm kidding. You know, I wasn't going to ask a second question about it just in case you weren't. I felt it fall a little quietly

just so we know. It's a joke. It's a joke. You're good. No worries. All right, guys. Thank you all so much. Hopefully, we're talking about a, in a couple weeks or something. Good luck. All right. Bye, guys.

All right. Thanks, guys. All right. Bye. Let's do it. All right. We got a little two-for-one special here. Kevin Hart and Nelly.

Well, a little one-and-a-half special. Come on. Already? Already with this? I mean. I'm listening. It's ridiculous what he's doing. It's ridiculous. It's ridiculous what he's doing. I mean, I'm listening. It's ridiculous what he's doing. It's ridiculous.

It's ridiculous what he's doing. I mean, come on now. Low-hanging fruit, Nelly. Come on, man. All right. I appreciate you boys doing this. Thank you, man. It's actually a perfect combination because I was just putting out a video

for our Instagram page, talking about how TI is given. He's trying out standup comedy right now. And I having a rapper and a comic on the show together is perfect. Cause I think those two worlds kind of go like hand in hand in a lot of ways. I feel like they're very, very similar and very different in,

in certain ways. But do you guys feel like you guys click being one being a rapper, one being a comic? Click as in get along? Yeah. Yeah, of course. Oh, we do? Oh, yeah, yeah. What do you mean?

Yeah, we do. What are you talking about? You want my clothes? We get along. My clothes is friends in the business. We've been friends for years. Yeah, we are. What do you mean?

Until the camera goes off. What are you talking about? That's what I thought our relationship really thought. We're strong. we're strong. We're strong. I'll tell you what, you don't really see, you don't see the rapper coming to the side of comedy. You see the comedian try to go and be the rapper.

Right. It's the first time that you've seen the rapper come and do comedy. But, and he's one to see him. Yeah, Nelly's seen him perform. Yeah, I saw a couple of uh chocolate fat uh chocolate sundaes and then um he did some improv he's doing great man he's only been doing a couple weeks he's something like that and i and i praise him all the time because you put yourself out there you're vulnerable you know what i'm saying it's not like when you're doing your music because you're

comfortable you know you know what work you have a go-to song. You have a go-to move. And here, man, he's just out there, man. But that's Tip. He's a courageous guy. What was cool about it? Kevin, do you think that's kind of cheating, like already being famous? Like how we feel when you fucking famous people start podcasts? And it's like, no, no, no.

You had to grind. You had to get a fan base. That is bullshit. No, that sounds like hate. Rich people doing podcasting is bullshit. Leave podcasting to the poor bullshit. Leave podcasting to the poor people. Leave podcasting to the poor. It's a very honest

thing that you just said and I respect it. But, hey bro, there is an advantage, of course, when you have some success in the following because you're going to get some love when you go up there. But comedy is a different animal. It's a different monster. Silence is silence. I don't care if you're famous or not when it comes to telling jokes if people don't laugh well then the jokes aren't working and that reality hits you fast so you have to

actually be able to entertain what's what's i think cool like with rap like rap and and comedy i feel like it's similar there's a lot of punchlines and wordplay and callbacks. But I feel like in the rap world, it's usually about being cocky and arrogant. Hey, hey, slow your up, bro. Yeah, you know you're the richest, you're the best, you're the coolest. In the rap world, it is a world that can be whatever you make it. True. The rap world is not a topic.

Rap music runs the world. Therefore, the topic is, in the words of make it. True. The rap world is not a topic. Rap music runs the world. Therefore, the topic is, in the words of the T.I., expeditiously... Come on, man, think of some shit. But what I'm saying is... But listen, rap is usually like, I'm the biggest, the best, the richest, the coolest.

I think comedy is a lot more something. You're listening to the rap music that's being promoted by people who don't come from rap music, who see the numbers and want to profit. You're listening to the rap music that's being promoted by people who don't come from rap music, who see the numbers. You're listening to pop rap. Pop rap. I'm not going to sit back on this one. If you're going to tell me that rappers are out there...

You don't have to sit back. You're going to tell me that rappers are as self-deprecating as comics are with their stand-up acts? No fucking way. You're skipping the biggest point. You're skipping the biggest point. You're skipping. To your artists that are your quote-unquote biggest artists, they have something to say.

Right? Being that if I just sit and I'm talking about what I have, ultimately, I'm not saying anything and anybody can duplicate what I do. But when you talk about the craftsmanship that goes into the art of rapping, there's some that do it at a high level. In other words, my life, my story,

my why is in my music. So those are the artists nine times out of 10 and not just have a following, but those are the artists that you feel like you understand. But nine times out of 10, that's just one song off of their album. If you go listen to some of their albums, they have other songs that's more in song off of their album if you go listen to some of their album they have other songs that's more in depth but they're not as promotional because we do not own our own radio stations so they're gonna play what they feel yeah so you got to get your paper bro when you were when you were doing verses did you feel like, like were there songs you wish you could be playing, but you knew you had to play the hits?

No, because you can only play 20, bro. Yeah, right. I got a lot of fucking hits, bro. You got a lot of fucking hits, dude. Mo got a lot of hits. And you got to remember when me and Luda did that, Versus was still kind of in its infancy. It had only been so many people.

It's not what you see today. No, if you guys had had the stage. Oh, my God. Fuck the stage. I wanted the investment. Damn, Swiss. The production, all of that stuff. You guys were way, way, way early.

When's the comedy versus coming, Kev? I don't know, but let me know when it do so I can watch it with you. That's got to be your next endeavor, man. I think that would work so well, having two comic chairs staged like that, talking about their greatest hits. This is the biggest mind melt for me. Music and comedy aren't the same.

If you know a joke and you heard the joke, you know the fucking punchline. He's trying to make you laugh. I'm trying to... You can't. You can't. There is no battle there. Like when you say, okay, I'm coming to do

my best stuff from old. Well, you know it. You already know it. There's no world where that's going. It'll get old fast. It'll get redundant fast. So the idea of comedy

in a verse is being attached to it. i don't i don't personally see the success in that but what do i know you know you know a lot i would probably trust your yeah i know he didn't know his ass was gonna get pulled over today i'll tell you that all right okay that's just a lot i'm sorry you got pulled over that's not that's not even well ridiculous yeah they pulled his ass off. Okay. Jesus Christ. How fast?

No, it was because of the tent. I had some tent on my car. Yeah. Let me tell you. Tell me about Real Husbands of Hollywood because I feel like that's got to be a different, like, switching gears for you guys, no? Yeah.

Look, this is where we get to actually do what we want, have fun while we're working, and provide a different level of laughter for our audience, right? You're looking at one of the first ever unscripted parodies of this reality world that people are so in love with. So there was a time where this was the thing. And we did five seasons of it, and then we stopped for like five, six years. And to be able to come back, present a limited series. We only stopped because your prices went up. Your prices went up.

You were fucking up the budget. You were fucking up the budget. You were fucking up the budget. It's good. But you were, I'm with you. You were fucking up the budget. Nobody needs to know the truth. What I'm saying is, what I'm saying is, what a time, right? So now, now, now, now say, look, let's just do something for us.

Let's come back, give the fans something, bring all of the guys back, make sure everybody's taken care of, make sure everybody feels respected, valued. And we came and we did another another like little six episodes. So we'll see how the fans react. Maybe we do more. Maybe. Maybe. I don't I don't know. But I think the best thing about it is that the relationships,

it's the relationships that we all have, the fun that we have, and that there truly is nothing like this. Come on, Kevin, land it. It's a comedy gym. A comedy gym for us. The plane just went down. I gotta talk. I gotta give it context. You got it, buddy. Nelly, are you

claiming Rams the Super Bowl? You know what? This is a very tricky question. It's a very simple question, actually. I read the statement when you first left. You said they're on loan to LA. Nobody wants to hear the long back story about that. Am I a Rams fan?

Of course. How can I not be a Rams fan? Well, because they fucking ditched you. That's how you could not be. You just fucking bailed on your city. Well, technically, the Rams only championship is out of St. Louis. Until therefore,

so we don't know. I just want to say hi to the Barrow family. I love the Bengals. Hi to the Bengals. You're doing some strong fencing right here. Yeah, for real. Are you a Rams fan or not?

That's all the question is. I like football. Oh, man. I mean, come on. Kev, what is this? You're a Philly guy. You're a Philly sports guy. You ain't going to fuck up my bag, man.

No. I ain't going to have the two white guys on here fucking up my bag. It ain't going to happen. Y'all ain't going to dump my bag. It ain't going to have the two white guys on here fucking up my bag. It ain't going to happen. Y'all ain't going to dump my bag. It ain't going to happen, Kent. We'll talk about it tomorrow. But y'all ain't taking my bag out. That is

as a Philly sports fan. I love football. You're going Rob Lowe on us. You're just putting on the shield on a hat. Nelly's like, I just respect Roger Goodell. That's all. I like the product he puts on the field. There you go, bro.

Kev, if the Eagles or one of your Philly teams ever bounced and left town, I mean, it would never happen in a sports town like Philly. But if it did, would you follow? And Philly gets no team? We get no team to replace yeah let's just say somehow some way football's gone would you follow them too i gotta i would follow them that would be my team if philadelphia didn't get a replacement if we as a city don't have anything or anyone to cheer from well because that team and i have history i would follow you know how much anxiety you have to have to be a Phillies? I mean, to be a Philadelphia sports fan.

I'm sorry, just one of the biggest sports cities in the world. Public-wise, not championships. Where y'all got championships? How many championships? Do they even have? Well, for the piece of it that I can remember, due to the fact that I had a high level of alcohol in my mouth, I'm going to look at our last Super Bowl.

Super Bowl? Yeah, our last Super Bowl. Super Bowl? Yeah, our last Super Bowl, which we won. They didn't even call it the Super Bowl the last time. One of Tom Brady's darkest moments in his career was called by Eagle. Beautiful. What do you mean win? Well, we beat the Patriots in the Super Bowl. It was like four years ago.

I mean, what are you doing? Who was quarterbacking? Foles. Oh, yeah, yeah, I did. Big Nick. He's probably remember that. Look at that shit. What do you mean?

Foles. What an amazing time. Go Eagles. Fly. Eagles. Fly. But what about Ben Simmons? What is this?

What is this? I'm not kidding. Yeah. He's not kidding. He's talking about it. I'm sorry. I'm not sorry. What are you talking about?

This is ridiculous. Yo, Kev, how was? Go ahead. I'm sorry. What are you talking about? I don't know. Yo, Kev, how was... Go ahead. I was going to say, have you guys watched the Olympics at all? Yes. We're trying to find someone who cares about the Winter Olympics this year. Nobody gives a fuck about the Olympics. All right, I lied.

I was going to say, you have not been watching the Olympics. That was the biggest fucking lie. Kev's like, yeah, I checked it on the figure sheet last night. I didn't even know which season the Olympics was in. There is one big thing happening. I do have to say one big thing happening. Sean White is retiring after this year, and that is a big deal. Sean, he's fucking 30.

Yeah, but I'm just saying, he's Sean White. Is that all in snowboarding? Sean White, the popularity that's attached to snowboarding, you do have to say Sean White. He's no LeBron. Le popularity that's attached to snowboarding, you do have to get Sean White. He's no LeBron. LeBron's 37. Of snowboarding, he is the LeBron of snowboarding. He's no Tom Brady.

Of snowboarding, he is. No, he's a great athlete, but he's got to hang in there. He's got to put some more time in, man. I wonder how old he really is. No, I'm thinking like 30. He's been snowboarding since he was 17. Wasn't he winning, like, X Games at 17? Yo, I think he was younger than that.

I think he was, like, 14 when he started winning X Games. That's what I'm saying. Man, listen, man. Oh, God. I love that you were just going to try to lie about the Olympics like that, dude. Like, what if we were like, oh, okay, let me hit you with some questions about the Olympics. If you had hit me with something, I would have hit you with great answers. Hey, that's what I'm saying.

I saw you guys. I saw you made a turn, and I can be honest. What was, I watched True Story when that dropped on Netflix however long ago. I feel like that had to be a fun-ass experience to be, like, choking dudes out and probably, you know, playing out some of your frustrations with the industry. Right. Absolutely. It was weird because it was like this feels like a real story. But then all of a sudden you answer your own question. Murdering dudes. No, that's that's the fun in it. You know, the the the art in the art is trying to have a mind melt for your audience. So, you know, how much of this is true?

How much of it isn't? Is he his self or is he playing somebody? Is it character? Is it real? There's a lot, you know. I'm very happy that we got to do it. And shout out to my guy, Eric Newman from Narcos, helped me pull it off. Heartbeat Productions, by the way, one of the best production companies in town.

Doing a lot of great work. I'm not just saying that because I stand at the top of it. A lot of talent. A lot of talent under this company. It's really good. Proud of you. Heartbeat Productions.

Proud of you. Y'all call boss stools, but y'all sitting in chairs. Like, what the fuck? You don't see it back. They probably got stools, but y'all sitting in chairs. Like, what the fuck? You don't see a back that probably got stools, though. No, no, no. No, he's comfortable. Nelly's trying to call us out on that.

I can't sit on a bar stool very long. My back starts to hurt. It's a whole thing. It's a real process, yeah. Talking about an amazing brand, bar stools. You sell a stool seat? No, the bar stool seat. Oh, I'm like, I thought.

That brand is definitely blessed. Kevin is selling everything. I would be surprised. No, Kevin's been on Barstool a few times now. You've always been one of our biggest guests. I always appreciate you coming through. You guys are doing amazing, man. Thank you.

Congratulations. You keep on going up, which is a great thing. Thank you, man. As do you guys, obviously. You're never down. All right. Because nothing's down there. All right.

Tell the people where to find Real Husbands of Hollywood. Whoa. Whoa. What's the guy doing? You guys can go BET+. We will be available, I believe, on the 10th, the 10th of February. So go get yourself some laughter, man. Go get yourself some feel good.

Since y'all asked us about the Olympics, you wanted to be asked, we're going to ask y'all an honest question. Y'all got BET? Do I have BET? Oh, no, don't stutter. For sure, I got it before. Yo, Miss Pat. Yeah, Miss Pat, comedian Miss Pat.

We watched Miss Pat. Miss who? Miss Pat. Miss Pat? You guys just did the Yeah. You guys just did the move. You guys just did the white guy say to one black person, you know, move. Yeah. Yeah. Miss Pat.

Miss Pat. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Miss Pat, come save us. It's better than knowing zero. All right? It's better than nothing. Better than not having nobody. Good job.

That was one of the chamber. Yeah, one of the chamber. Good job. This morning. Always appreciate y'all, man. Honestly, you guys show nothing but love, man. Thank you very much, guys. Have a good one, man.

Good luck, bro. I ask nothing of you. There's only one thing in this world I ask of you as fans. We don't charge any money. We don't ask a lot at all. No, we ask this a lot, but they're not listening to us. Well, we ask for voicemails. They do that.

We ask you to follow some accounts. They do that. We ask you to follow some accounts. They do that. I ask you to subscribe to YouTube. You don't do that. I ask you to subscribe on Apple and Spotify and give us a five-star review and leave a review. And you sometimes do that. So please, let's just make this a semi-annual thing where you make sure that you're subscribed on Apple and on Spotify. Click five stars and leave us a good review.

It helps us out tremendously to make sure that we can sell more ads at a higher rate and make more money, make the show bigger and better for you to consume for free. All I ask you to do is take two seconds, subscribe, rate, review. Thank you. Bye.