KFC Radio - The Age of Aquarius Gender Draft

Episode Date: March 11, 2021

Subscribe, Rate, Leave a review, and share with a friend! -KFC is optimistic because we're entering the age of aquarius -A Cuban ESPN Anchor was dummied by a falling tv -Meyers Leonard gets caught saying a antisemitic slur on a video game stream -A tik tok enlightens us about gender norms and we host the first gender draft -AITA Thursday -Voicemails Let us know what you thought of the episode on twitter: @KFCRadio @KFCBarstool @Feitsbarstool Subscribe on Youtube: www.youtube.com/c/kfcradio Subscribe on our youtube clips channel www.youtube.com/c/kfcradioclipsYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. I'm down to believe in fucking happiness. Shut up. Another edition of KFC radio on the barstool sports network. I think things are just going to start looking up for us, John. Well, cause you're hosting again. I agree.

Back in the saddle. Feels good. Feels good over here no but um did you know that we're entering the age of aquarius oh no i know what that is every 2 000 years we shift and we're shifting right now it's going to be our 2 000 years but what does that mean every 2 000 years the constellations and the stars and the celestial objects move you know naturally and these are all things i believe in and so um well i mean no that does happen no i know but if you're about to start telling me about my goddamn fucking zodiac sign maybe i've just heard we are we are literally entering the age of Aquarius, which means... Which is a movie, right? Maybe a song.

There's a song. Yeah, there's definitely a song. There's a whole thing about it. And we've been in the age of Pisces for the last 2,150 years. Now we're moving into the age of Aquarius. Don't ask me why. This is before Jesus got here. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Jesus brought on Pisces. Well, this is, you know what? There's 12 zodiac signs and there's 2 000 year chunks so this has been going on for i don't know 18 000 i don't know how many thousand years uh we i mean early on in pisces we just killed the son of god so we were definitely setting up a bad omen for the next 2 000 that's the thing let's not execute any any deities in the age of pisces has been a fucking disaster so i'm thinking the age of Aquarius is about to pop off. And for some reason, even though you're moving from Pisces to Aquarius, that's a good sign for Pisces.

So I'm set, baby. Things are looking up for me, not you. Fuck this Wii shit. It's all about me. Okay, well, you started with the Wii. I didn't add the Wii. I know. I wanted you in, but no, it's just Pisces.

Fuck you. You're out. Okay, so Leo. the we i didn't know i wanted to keep i wanted you in but no it's just pisces fuck you you're out okay so leo so there's seven celestial objects that are moving like you know in in alignment with the aquarius constellation which is actually that's a thing happening like that's actually real whether whether you believe in the zodiac shit obviously that's silly but this shit is going on in the sky and if you do believe in any sort of, you know, celestial type shit, because I think there's like silly zodiac sign stuff. But then I think like there's this shit, like all this stuff is lining up. And if there's like, you know, I don't know, fucking solstice and equinoxes and shit like that.

If you believe in any of that stuff, there's some shit going down in the age of Aquarius. And what? We don't know it's just i didn't read any further i just know that about a pretty shitty 2 000 years so everybody's losing their shit because the 2 000 year like switchover is happening right at the end of 2020 and everyone's like yeah that was the very end of age of pisces and it fucking sucked dick and now the age of 2021 is the start of Aquarius? Basically.

I think like February 2021 is when it kind of officially did start. Okay. Because I was like, well, you know, it's been pretty shitty. I think they said like December or something like that. But these people just start making things up. Like, no, it was February. Oh, something bad happened in February. It's March.

It's like Zorp. It's QAnon and the Zodiacs. But I'm down. I'm down to believe it. I'm going to have a 2,000-year run. Why are you down to believe anything good is about to happen, Kevin? What are you, a fucking idiot? No, I'm down to believe in fucking happiness.

Shut up. Shut up. Don't fucking get everyone's hopes up real quick. Oh yeah, the stars are moving. It's about to get happy. Suck my ass. You and fucking Sagittarius can fucking... You fucking take my ass.

Sagittarius can take my dick. Fuck you both. The stars are moving. I'm about to be happy yeah man god that's a fucking rock bottom shit right that's when you have when you have literally no other reason to be optimistic like tell me tell me one reason why your life's gonna be happy and you're like my friends no my family no my job no the stars are moving you're basically a fucking homeless heroin addict who just saw a penny right side up on the street.

He was like, today's going to be great. No, you're going to get hit by a fucking bus and OD today. I feel like that homeless heroin addict, he sees that penny up and he does go have himself a good day. Yeah, right. By doing heroin. He shoots up some heroin and has a fucking day, bro. I'm down at this point.

I'll hold on to any goddamn thing, John. Why? Let it all go. Well, because. Let it all go, Kev. Because what if it would be easy to, what if we could just blame the last 2,000 years on something like the stars in the sky? If you were just like, nah, man, that was the age of Pisces.

And they're like, well, what about this? And what about that? And what about this? And you could list things for 2,000 years and, that was the age of Pisces. And they're like, well, what about this? And what about that? And what about this? And you could list things for 2,000 years, and you could say, age of Pisces. Big window. Whole thing. Age of Pisces. Big window to this.

The last 20. Look, this is the age when everything becomes unified. We will break free of centuries of false doctrines, destructive indoctrinations, and absurd ideas. Oh, absurd ideas. Yeah, no, we're done with those. Okay. Makes sense. You can't have an Asian and spurious poster. This is irresponsible of you, what you're doing right now.

This is irresponsible of you. Why am I giving people false hope? Because you're like, someone's listening to this podcast right now going, I believe this, and their grandma's going to die tomorrow. Yes. They're just going to have a family member or someone close to them. Someone listening to this podcast will hear this and think maybe things are going to turn around, and someone very close to them will die within the

next week well then you know what i tell them it hasn't started yet if you see the here's the thing it's a it might even be me maybe someone close to me i'm like kevin told me it was sagittarius guess what it's a i gotta go to a funeral now if i give you a 2150 year window that gives me you know give or take like a couple decades you know what i mean like i don't think so if you're claiming february you know that's what i'm saying you got like a six month window for the start all right fine i'll take the six months six months if things don't turn around in six months you can come back to me and say this was i wish i didn't give six months because six months like probably is like-vaccination. You got two months. Things aren't even a little bit better in six months.

Actually, my teacher just talked about this, I just remembered. And she said, sorry, she said, this is like a direct quote from her. Hold on. See? Even college professors are talking about this. No, no, no. I'm going to read the quote, and you guys are going to. College professors, people who walk in. This girl probably walks into No, no, no, no, no. I'm going to read the quote and you guys are going to. College professors, people who walk in. This girl probably walks into Jackie's class and goes, what's up?

I'm Tammy. Take whatever off you want. We don't give a shit. It's college. Who fucking cares? We're on Zoom. I don't give a fuck about this anyway. What is this quote?

So apparently in. It was. I wasn't fully listening to this part. Because you told me to call her by her first name in order to feel cool with you guys something about her first no the ninth conscious this is a direct quote

there are some people who can the ninth conscious is going to be stronger or something and you can put yourself in another location in space and time with your ninth conscience. That's what's up. So if you had class, but you wanted to be in Coachella at the same time,

reminder, I go to USC in LA, then you'll be powerful enough in this era because your ninth self is going to be powerful. I'm going to ask Jackie to stop agreeing with you right now. Bro, my ninth self. It seems like she's losing the thread. Like how she was like, mind you, I go to school in LA, so it's not that crazy to be at Coachella and in class at the same time.

I'm just saying, like, that's possible. It's not going to be UVM. It would be possible to be in both spots. I know. Don't guess. I'm not crazy. I know it's a hundred mile window. It's like the biggest you can escape in your ninth conscience. Listen. Listen, fine. Mr. Mr. Fucking

no ninth conscience over here. No, no, no ninth conscience. We don't have a single conscience. No, I have I have over nine. Yeah. Yeah. They are in constant war with each other. I'm like fucking James McAvoy and split. Not all my consciences are met, Kevin.

Hello, it's Tabitha. What are we doing today? Yeah, we heard it. We heard it last episode. Anytime John hosts an episode, his multiple personality syndrome comes out to play. Goodness gracious. The only takeaway, your hair did look good last week My hair looked good last week?

The hosting was a disaster but your hair looked good I was wearing a hat I don't know what you're wearing Fuck Your hair looks good now I'm cutting it all off tomorrow I'm going to get a cut too We got Fleischman doing Friday Night Pints this week

And they're sponsoring today's episode So another Fleischman push for the warmints this week, and they're sponsoring today's episode. So another Fleischman push for the warm weather. If you're going to get back out, I mean, you got to think there's a lot of people who probably just haven't even cut their hair, haven't even done their hair in months on end. And now if you're going to get back out there, you're going to go to happy hour. The weather's getting nice. You're going to hit up rooftop bars. You're going to sit out in the park. You're going to go see your friends again for the first time.

You can't be looking like a schlep can't have it can't have i mean you come out of there looking like you come out of a pandemic looking like fucking tom hanks and castaway that was my but back when i thought the pandemic was gonna be you know just a fucking month or two two weeks whatever it was gonna be i was like i'm not shaving or cutting my hair the whole time remember we got a little ridiculous but you can see it was like a long beard yeah imagine if i just stuck with that. If you just kept doing that, there's probably a lot of people who did. It would be horrendous.

It would look like I fucking passed out and you shaved a woolly man as balls and he just glued his pubes to my face. It would be his very long, stringy auburn hair just coming down. I mean, Flesh, we would never let it happen. She would literally show up at your place, into your apartment and trim your beard and cut

your hair she wouldn't allow it she uh i i got that text like you need to come in for a haircut i got it yesterday too yeah she and like she's right i've been thinking about it because it is when the summer gets nice i don't really want to do like the blow drying and all that stuff i kind of want to get out of the shower rub it and be done so i was like i'm cutting it all off uh soon and like as i was thinking that probably tuesday yesterday i texted her like i think it's time for a haircut for you she has like an internal clock like yeah the age of aquarius she just knows it's time for a haircut uh so if you're in new york you can go book an appointment at any of the fleishman salons all across the city but if you want to get down with fleishman and have your hair look good as you come out of pandemic and the quarantines are lifted,

go to Fleischmansalon.com. They've got shampoo and conditioner, which smell good and feel good. They've got... And suds like a son of a bitch. Like a motherfucker. It really makes you realize how bad your other shampoo is, where it's just like,

oh, this feels like I'm using hand soap. You know what I mean? It doesn't bubble up at all like the Fleischman stuff does. Then they've got the styling cream and the styling paste for if you want to do light work or heavy work they've got the sea salt spray that's the big one the sea salt spray the sea salt spray even the woman in the office used the sea salt spray is not just for men that's for everyone but it is it smells delicious gives you some good fucking texture you don't really have to do your hair if you put enough of that in you do it the right way exactly it just kind of like holds it firm that's what my

goal is uh i hope erica listens to this before i get there tomorrow so she can't intimidate me once i get in the seat but my goal is i want to be able to spray a bunch of that and then blow dry it a little bit and then it's kind of just tussled like i went to the beach that's that's my summer hair hustle yeah i like a nice tussle one of your personalities is for sure female if you're throwing around, you want your hair to look tussled. But they've got the promo code right now. The running is KFC. You get 20% off.

They also have 15% additional off when you get their bundles. You can do the we've got it all covered, which means you get one of everything, including the hair gummies, which helps your hair grow. So if you're getting old like me and your hairlines need some help uh the the gummies keep your hair growing and keep it thick and they got the boys of summer uh bundle which is just the sea salt spray and the paste so a big bundle a smaller bundle you get an additional 15 off on top of the 20 off when you use promo code kfc so you get like 30 something percent off 40 off when you go to fleishman salon f-l-e-i-s-c-h-H-M-A-N Salon.com and use promo code KFC. We got some M.I.D. Asshole today. We've got voicemails.

I think one of my favorite clips maybe ever came out on the internet today. I had an up and down day on the internet today. I had an up and down day with the internet. First I had that clip of the fucking Mets celebrating the World Series. I'm on that. I think that's the kind of camaraderie building

nonsense that helps a team win. That's some shit. That's some fucking Belichickian Vince Wilfordfors got to catch the ball with one hand in order to practice the end. Those are the Patriots. That's some Boston Bruins shit. That's some idiot shit.

I get that this will get you made fun of. Yeah. But I think that- When you do this, if you are a championship team, it's all good. When you're the Mets, it's all the Mets. I genuinely think it is, as someone who's played tons of professional sports, I think it's very important, professional athletes, to remember that it's just a fucking game. And I think things like this help that.

You know what? I have no problem with them doing this. I hate the media for putting this out. The Daily News were tweeting this and being like, the Mets practiced celebrating Game 7 of the World Series. They were doing a drill. You have to get 27 outs with no errors. They said, let's pretend, hey, with no errors they said let's pretend hey 27

outs also let's pretend it's game seven they got the outs they were like hey we won the world series you do that shit you goof around in spring training goof around in practice it gets tweeted out to the internet and now you look like the dumbass mets who are practicing celebrating the world series and people are just gonna laugh at you yeah it's not that it's not a big deal but right now there's two sides of people being like this is what it's all about like why like i don't get why people are upset it's like no you're an idiot too because this is is cringeworthy you get made fun of for this and then there are the people who are like well the season's over i mean i will admit that like now the season's probably over like you can't win it you can't win in a year

that you do actually you know what i will say this they didn't do a great job no well not not a great world series if you Not a great World Series celebration. If you're going to do it, do it. Yeah, like the benches got empty. I mean, it reminds me of when I put a condom on when I was masturbating getting ready for sex. You know what I mean? You got to practice for the real thing. And I fucking went in.

You know what I mean? And you had a bigger celebration than they did. Yeah, I did, bud. Yeah, I did. Took a little bit longer, but I did. So if you're going to do it, do it, you know? So that brought the mood down. And then I saw this ESPN Deportes clip.

ESPN Colombia. Colombia. Makes a lot more sense because this needed to be a bizarre country. This dude on the set of what's probably like football tonight gets absolutely crunched! Oh my god! By the walls of the set falling

on him. And this guy is the one that fucking gets me. Tranquilo, tranquilo, tranquilo. Is that what he says? See, I haven't heard the audio of it. Listen, put it on your headphone. A hundred times. Tranquilo, tranquilo, tranquilo, tranquilo, tranquilo, tranquilo, tranquilo. He says it tranquilo, tranquilo, tranquilo. He says it over and over and just tries to, like, the show must go on. That is the most professional anchor in the world.

He just watched his friend get fucking pancaked by, like, a metal wall. I disagree completely. I think in moments like that, you want to see humanity in an anchor. That looks like some shit Sean Salisbury would have done to John Clayton. Where, like, a wall would have done to John Clayton. Where like a wall would have fallen on him and be like, fuck it. Everyone relax. Let him bleed out.

Like, get up. Run over there. Like, ay, mi amigo, mi amigo. Like, fucking get your boy. He's like, hey, wait. We're not ready for a commercial break. We got to wrap this segment yet. Fuck that.

Go help the guy and cut the commercial. Well, I don't know. This guy, look at the slow motion, dude. I don't know. Look at that. Whap. Oh, my God. I don't know if this guy, look at the slow motion, dude. I don't know look at that. Whap! Oh my god. I don't know if this guy wants to be on camera, John. I don't think he wants his family seeing

that because there's no doubt in my mind he was decapitated and his solar plexus was shattered. No, he's completely fine. Yeah, I know. Is that true? Yeah. No, he did a video afterwards. I don't know what he said in it, but he was like He was like I'm fine. I'm fine. Everything is fine. That guy, I'm, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I Pointly flat on the desk. And fucking all of them just looking at him. Nobody even threw their hands up.

Holy shit. They just were like, wow, look at that. It is fucking five people who hate that guy. This is some Carrie shit with adults. They're all looking at it like, oh, we all took the screws out about an hour ago. Surprised it took that long to fall. Bro, not since the goddamn Wizard of Oz with a house fell on that bitch has someone just been crushed by a piece of a wall.

I mean, that dude is completely gone. Tranquilo, tranquilo, tranquilo, tranquilo. He lasts until the end of the episode. We figured that was going to happen during the Juventus-Porto segment, but no. This guy, fuck you, that wall stuck up there. Great balance. They actually sent that wall stuck up there. Great balance. They actually sent like a fucking cameraman back there,

like, yo, go push the wall real quick. Like, it doesn't seem to be tilting. Well, that was an easy tweet. Like, the next episode of Sports Advisory, if you don't think that a wall is falling on Stu Feiner's head, you're out of your fucking mind. They're going to throw all sorts of shit at him. That guy, I mean the the concerning lack of humanity like dude like there's when this fucking thing falls it just tilts and gets caught by a tv i

see the whole thing i go like that i'm like kevin's gonna be hurt like no he's you'd survive if that fucking little piece of plywood fell on you if that tv just fell on your fucking head and i was just like, SimpliSafe.com. I mean, Jesus. Necesitas tranquilo? SimpliSafe. If the walls of your house are decapitating you and your loved ones, SimpliSafe.com. Jesus fucking Christ.

Only dude in sports who had a worse day than that fucking guy. He has been Colombia. Myers Leonard just career and life over because of because of video game rage, which I will say the one half of his his like racial slur stuff. Not very relatable. I don't think there's many people who who would drop the k-bomb there's many people i don't even know who if i said the k-bomb they're sitting at home going like yeah you're doing like like the fucking meme where you're doing the computing math yeah yeah yeah cunt no no uh but the other side of it like just being a dumbass while playing video games like i

do think that maybe we there needs to be some new rules and i'm not saying we need uh like leniency for like racial shit but video game rage anybody's ever played video games i think can understand that you just go to it you become a like you like i used to i used to play with kids who would fucking like kick the box and pull the fucking reset that you know what i mean people like normal friends who would go into like a fit of fucking rage and I was like, whoa, you really went somewhere on that. Never seen it anywhere else. Not on a basketball court,

not on a baseball field, but in a video game world people go to another, and we said this on the rundown too, the hesitation from him. You can't. You can't be like, you fucking you have like a solid two count. He was running through like You can't. You can't be like you fucking you have like a solid two count.

He's running through like, I can't say that one. I can't say that one. I can probably say this one. Also probably one of the worst ones you could do in Miami. Yeah. So that's what's funny. That's what's funny. But you know, his league not that big of a deal.

Relatively speaking, his town big of a deal, relatively speaking. His town, big deal. Not great. He could go back to practice right now and a bunch of guys would be like, what up, Myers? Do you go get a coffee? Yeah. No, sir.

No, sir, Myers Leonard. You ain't getting served at a steakhouse or a restaurant anytime soon. That's a racial slur that, like you said, you had to go deep in the Rolodex for that. I haven't heard that since american history x since like danny vineyard like a dark was like really like hitting it hard yeah because it's got it's got two hard letters that's the thing it's it's phonetically a hard word you know you're right if you if you didn't know what it meant you hear that you know that was a bad thing that person just said some shit i don't know exactly what a compliment i know i know I know something's going on there. I mean, that sounds like Hitler wrote that word himself.

It does sound German. Yeah, like it was invented. It's not German. It's like Nazi German. That word first popped up in like 1936 and like raged hard until the 40s where people were just hitting those. And it was just a nice German word before. Like the swastika. We used to call each other that all the time.

It was the Hindu symbol of peace and it was the German word for hello. But it was just... We just decided they had the right fucking angles for us. The hard fucking Ks and the hard fucking angles. The swastika and the Ks have the pointy. It all comes together. We want these words and symbols to cut you. Really, man.

They will. But I also don't get the video game rage. Never had it. I don't think I ever had it because I don't think... I think I was good at video games, and then when I wasn't, I stopped playing them. Yeah, I just quit. I still do it every six months. When you're nice at video games, you don't do that because you're winning.

You know? Every six months, I'll get it. I'll get this dry, and then I go, no, I quit. Never mind. I quit. I simply quit. But you will be, you will, in those six months, in that one night, you will be called racial slurs and demeaning names. I have been, yeah. No, I think I just quit.

Make a bold statement. I think I've had enough of this. It is one of the more... I think I've had enough of NBA players calling me Jewish slurs for the night. It's time to just watch New Girl and chill out. Can you imagine? Can you have a glass of whiskey with a Myers Leonard fucking resurrecting the Third Reich on me? Because I got killed right in a fucking spawn spot. There's some 14-year-old kid who's like, dude, Myers Leonard just called me a fucking – what?

What? Mom, what does this mean? I mean that is – and it's not worth it. I think you got to take a long, long hard look in the mirror. It's like doing live TV. Live might not be for you. Live streaming might not be for you. Live streaming might not be for you. If you are a racist, if you are famous,

and you're going to play video games where you're going to be competitively live, maybe you can go Instagram live and just talk. People get themselves in trouble there. Now you're going to be playing against each other and potentially getting frustrated and losing. It might not be for you, bro. If that's where your vocabulary

goes, if you go to that Papa John vocab, you know, Myers-Leonard, see you in 20 months, bro. You know what I'd love to see? I'd love to see this get explained to Kevin Garnett. Oh, my gosh. Just like, KG, yeah, this guy's in trouble. He was in competition. He said something kind of fucked up.

Imagine. And he's like, what's the problem? He's like, no, he said like a slur. Yeah, I heard you right. What's the problem? He's like, no, he said like a slur. Yeah, I heard you right. What's the issue? Did he wish Tim Duncan a happy Mother's Day after his mom died of cancer on Mother's Day? That is, is that like, that was true? That was true.

I've never heard anyone refute the point. That one is bad. That one's a bad one. He didn't say, who was it? That makes me happy that Tim Duncan just kind of owned him his whole fucking career. my mom's dead but i have five rings you fucking asshole who who is it who had alopecia uh charlie villanueva charlie villanueva that one was just like he was when he's called a bald bitch or something he said he had cancer yeah you were a cancer patient i mean like just straight up and down charlie villanueva was like you right you're right he told carmelo

anthony that la la tasted like Honey and Cheerios. That one's tough. That might be worse than a Mother's Day. I actually think it's probably hard for that because I think, yeah, more or less racial stuff, obviously no, but more or less in between the lines, anything goes. Anything's fair.

They at least have the NFL films like, we're going to cut out all the N-words. Don't worry about it. But no one's cutting it on FaZe Clan. No. It's a live stream, bro. There's no seven-second delay, bro.

It's just going out to the... I mean, how quickly do you think his agent just texted him? No, it rang. It what? In the video, it rings. Yeah? And he answers it, and he's like, hey, guys, my wife needs me.

I got to go. The picture of him on his phone, where can just see it's like setting in like that. Oh, fuck. I forgot about the microphone attached to my head. Yeah, bro. I mean, $9 million this year. Supposed to be $10 million next year. 9.4 this year and 10.2 next year.

Probs not going to happen anymore. And that. I don't think it's this video. There's an extended one where, like, he gets a call. The, the, uh, He's got, he's got,

I guess it's probably not a red flag. I'm sure, you know, his, like, very Jewish agent calls him, like, you're fired. Yeah, yeah.

Find new representation. Faze fired him right away. It was like, man, that's the thing, is, like, you can do this if you are, like, you can weather the storm if you are like a superstar.

Yeah, if you're like Riley Cooper. Bro, that one in hindsight, he got away with that one. Yeah. Because like – If you're a mid to low level slot white receiver, don't worry. You'll be in the league. But what's his face in – the country singer. All these names. Morgan Wallen. Morgan Wallen miles leonard all this shit's on the thing

uh you know that was like he was like in his own driveway and like it was stupid riley cooper was like screaming it in a violent fucking way and it just i mean it didn't get brought i didn't watch he caught hell for it but like not yeah he got he had like a day or two tough on sports center right and that was it he was like the last the last one i feel like that was right after that we entered an era where if you did that again you are fucked you're yeah you're fucked but you're not like morgan whalen wallen's fine right like he like he didn't get like fired his record label dropping they did yeah and he might be able but see the thing is, he'll probably, you know, it's like you can go start a Patreon.

You've probably got people who like you more now. Oh, I mean, there was a headline that like, despite the N-words, like Morgan Wallen has like, you know, five songs in the top hundred. Not despite. Because of. Yeah. Same Dr. Seuss shit. All that stuff.

Like, we're truly in that no such thing as bad publicity era. But I think when you did it the way Riley Cooper did it, that was some fucking hateful shit. Morgan Whalen has been number one in the charts for eight weeks. Holy shit. What is that?

What message does that give to the music industry? I guarantee you there's someone out there going like, you know, maybe we should cook up a little controversy. I don't think it's controversy. I think it's say the n-word I think it's like, because guess what

as we learned recently, there are a lot of people who like that word, and they're like he thinks like that I like that guy, I'll buy that record put it up on Spotify, they're probably Apple Music people fuck them alright, we'll do Am I the Asshole in our voicemails?

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At this point, they're just telling you straight up, this is not CBD. This is a psychoactive thing that will give you a buzz. So please be careful. Not a drug guy, but pretty goddamn closed this is a psychoactive thing that will give you a buzz so please be careful not a drug guy but pretty goddamn psychoactive buzz guy yeah put that on the shirt psychoactive buzz guy that's the new motto three cheat.com promo code kfc 2021 for five percent off what do you got for me all right i have not seen this yet all right this video it was oh fuck it's gone got it okay the it's just this stuff i didn't know this is tiktok tiktok is the smartest tiktok tiktok is the smartest place in the world you learn one of the things i love about history is that you

realize that we're we're just making everything up take gender norms for example guess who this is franklin delano roosevelt in a beautiful white dress. And this is Hemingway. You want to know why? Because up until the early 1900s, it was absolutely standard to put young boys in dresses until they're about seven years old. Up until the 1940s, boys wore pink and girls wore blue. A magazine article from 1918 says that this is because pink is a stronger and more decided color. High heels were originally a men's shoe. Here's my boy Louis XIV with his red bottom shoes on. Only nobles that Louis favored were allowed to wear red heels.

Which may or may not be where the brand Louboutin got its influence from. And for all these things, one day we just woke up as a society and said, now we're going to do the opposite. Because it was all made up. And it still is. Most of human culture is just stuff we make up. Thank God we switched with the girls with the high heels. That was stupid of them.

I agree. You want to wear the high heels. You fucking little sassy little bitch. An extra two. Who doesn't want it? I don't need it. Right? I don't really need it.

But it would be nice to just be like a little bit. Like, I mean, they still have like the Cuban heels out there. Oh, yeah. You and fucking Ted Cruz. That's Cruz fucking Rubio. Rubio. Rubio. Rubio.

Rubio. Rubio. Rubio. Rubio. Rubio. Rubio. Rubio. Rubio.

Rubio. Rubio. Rubio. Rubio. Rubio. Rubio. Rubio. Rubio.

Rubio. Rubio. Rubio. Rubio. Rubio. Rubio. Rubio. Rubio.

Rubio. Rubio. Rubio. Rubio. Rubio. Rubio. Rubio. Rubio.

Rubio. Rubio. Rubio. Rubio. Rubio. Rubio. Rubio. Rubio.

Rubio. Rubio. Rubio. Rubio. Rubio. Rubio. Rubio. Rubio.

Rubio. Rubio. Rubio. Rubio. Rubio. Rubio. Rubio. Rubio. Rubio. Rubio. Rubio. Rubio. Rubio. Rubio. Rubio. Rubio. Rubio. Rubio. Rubio. Rubio. Rubio. Rubio. Rubio. up a bit. You ain't wrong. You ain't wrong. I like the heels thing, too, because, like, next thing a girl asks for a fucking pair of red bottoms, be like, fucking check her skirt. Like, oh, you want some red bottoms? You got a dick? Don't think so.

King Louie doesn't fucking favor you as one of his favorite nobles. What? I mean, if you're talking about the gender drafts, last pick would be high heels. They're a disaster. Yeah, well, look, I don't want to walk in fucking, what do you call them?

Fucking the pointy ones. But like I said, nice Cuban heel. Cowboy boot. Let's do right now a gender draft. Okay. You got to draft something from chicks.

Okay. First overall pick. Pick one, thongs. All right. That one's been brewing for quite a while. I've literally only put a thong on once, and I was like, this lace feels amazing on my dick. Oh, man. It's just like if you're laughing, you're like, that's crazy.

Fucking go home and put your girl's thong on real quick. Your opinion's going to change. You'll be like, John might be on to something here. Go home, put your girl's thong on real quick. Yeah, you'll see what I'm talking about. That's your KFC Radio homework for the day. I hope that somebody's girlfriend walks in on them going, what podcast are we doing?

Yeah, it's just a joke. Chill out. Hide in the closet. Pop out in the stairs. You to do it. Yeah, it's just a joke. Chill out. Hide in the closet. Pop out in the stairs. You'll get it. Make sure there's some porn out in the background, too. Totally a joke. I will go...

I'll go with leggings, I guess. I had quite the experience. This is coming down to what women's clothes to be worn and found comfortable. Definitely. Next up. Next up, this one I don't – I wouldn't pick anymore, but I think it's almost a legacy pick.

It's a Kobe contract. Okay. And that would be pink because I think there was a time when, like, the guys took pink back. Yeah, coral. I think that was, like, the 06. Maybe. Yeah, Quarrel. I think that was like the 06. Maybe I was just in prep school. But it was like...

Maybe I was just experimenting. Everyone was just in fucking pink polos everywhere we went. It was like everywhere you went was a goddamn Vineyard Vines commercial. Cam'ron made pink cool for a while. Yeah, Cam'ron. Kanye was always wearing them. Yeah, Pink Louie. Ralph Lauren was born before I wore them.

Yeah. So yeah, I think pink had its day. Ron Kanye was always wearing them. Yeah, Pink Louie. Ralph Lauren was born before I wore them. Yeah, yep. So yeah, I think pink had its day. I don't wear much pink anymore, but there was a time when I brought pink back post-1940s. I'm taking a sundress. A sundress? I want to wear sundresses. Yeah, you want those balls to breathe.

I just wanted dresses in general. Them fucking thangs, clang, clang. Yo, if I wore a sundress. I think a sundress, because of that, you have a long ball day, it's a problem. I'm going to take the maxi dress. Cover that shit up. Keep it nice and comfy, but cover that shit up. If I ever wore a dress, you'd just see me standing at the bar just like this. Just fucking.

Like a pendulum when I'm grandfathered. Just slanging. Just slanging and banging. What's that noise you hear? Like. Audible groan. Come on. There's not much else I want from chicks.

Number three, I'll rip a dress. I mean, I'd be not to right i see you still have to buy me a dress to wear uh i make it pretty um but the uh and then like i think i think now like you should start just popping keegan in a dress be like dude they did it in the 1900s chill out this is actually you should do you should put keegan in a dress and then just fight with strangers in the streets. Honestly. That sounds like a really good idea. Like, why are you dressing your boy in a dress? Because this is what masculine norms are since the 1900s.

Because Franklin Delano Roosevelt did it, motherfucker. This is what men did for 1900 years. Just because you put him in a pair of Oshkosh Pagosh and a pair of Converse right now doesn't mean he's a fucking man. I'm going to be like, oh, you are living in the age of Pisces. That is such an age of Pisces thing. I'm in the age of Aquarius where boys wear dresses. I don't think there's anything else

about the life of a chick I would take besides their clothing, though. No, I always wanted to make way less money. Yeah, right? I draft the wage gap. That's got to be a girl's number one overall pick, right? The money. I'll take the fucking money.

I don't want your balls. I don't want your clothes. I want the fucking money. The money and walking with comfort at night those are my first two picks money and safety thank you thank you would would you um you sticking with your dick sticking with it yeah would you like if you could switch it out yeah like there was no there was nobody knew. It was just like that, it's just the opposite way. Would you take a pussy?

I'd do two buttholes. Just be the guy with two buttholes. That was not an option. That was not an option. If you were to offer up anything in the genital region, a fucking, yeah, it's a reach pick, but whatever. So you want an ass where you're where your pussy would be funny i think i think i'm getting a little tired of the responsibility of the dick yeah i mean why you want that what are you doing to it i mean it's a whole thing

to get it ready and get it up it's like it would just be nice to be like i don't know it's on you oh the burden's okay that's you know what i mean i get that this hole is always open for me it's always just a hole yours shape shifts bro you gotta make that thing go you gotta make it dance i think i'm over it i i okay i'm with you there you know it's like girls you're dealing with your period shit i don't want all that but it's like the minute you're fucking doing viagra and shit it's like there's a whole whole generation of men who are like fuck you know they don't want a pussy per se but yeah i don't want to deal with that a whole generation of men who are like, fuck this. They don't want a pussy, per se, but I don't want to deal with the...

Heavy lies the crown. With great power comes great responsibility. That 24% makes sense now. I've got to get my dick up all the time. Exactly. I need extra money. I have to count my drinks at fucking dinner so I know I can fuck when I get home. Thank you. Girls never worry about it.

Another shot? Sure, let's do it. I just got a pussy. I'll drink all night long. There's still a fucking pussy there at the end of the day. So sick, goddamn stupid. It does. It gets to the age where like the fucking guys are the ones like pouring shots

under the table. Yes! Like she's going to want to sex with me. Right! Happy New Year! Fucking get through that thing. The fucking guys are the ones like pouring shots under the table. Yes, she's gonna want to sex we go right There's some whiskey on your toes you want my heart my dick don't tell my friends don't tell my friends you're not getting fucked i'm telling you man it's not easy out here shit all right let's get back to reality here am i the asshole brought to you by zebra the number one way to save uh on insurance costs is through the zebra americans collectively overspend 21 billion dollars on insurance costs is through the Zebra. Americans collectively overspend $21 billion on insurance. Okay? That's too much.

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We got a couple. You texted me, right? Am I the asshole for not saying quack when I fart? My. First glance, no. 38-year-old female, partner of nine months, 40-year-old guy, have built a relationship that is fairly tolerant of normal bodily functions. Like, we're all human, bro.

Get down with the fact that our flesh suits do things we don't always want. It's good. Herein lies the problem. When he farts, which is fairly regularly, it's extraordinarily loud with all of the letters of extraordinarily spaced out. So it's really fucking loud. That right there is ridiculous because you can quiet fart. Everyone can quiet fart everyone can quiet

fart just quiet fart yeah you can you you can control it to an extent bro quiet fart is fucking easy unless it's like a surprise fart a quiet fart is i mean i agree but then but like i'd say one out of every 10 when you try there's no control no i disagree this is you know you fucking just fucking pretend you reach in your pocket just Just pull a cheek a little bit. Like sometimes you'll get the accidental balloon. That's the beauty of thongs. Watch out. Like a bottle rocket.

95% of the time, this guy is completely odorless. Would you rather be smelly or loud? 95% of the time, it's odorless? Yeah. I think smelly. I think you got to be silent but deadly, and then you can run out of the place. Yeah. When you're loud loud the whole room looks at you Pretend you don't take a piss

When I fart which is usually only when I'm unwell Or I've inadvertently eaten something I shouldn't Every girl is lactose intolerant by the way Every girl you drink some milk I fart Every time I eat something I shouldn't Which is fucking cheese and ice cream. Every girl is lactose intolerant and bases their diet on dairy. I know.

It's crazy. Cheese doesn't agree with me, but let's get a fucking cheese plate everywhere we go. But do you have Gouda? How about this? This girl says, I'm allergy central. No, bitch. You just fart sometimes. That would be up there in the draft, I bet.

I would take girls girls lack of farting it's not lack of farting it's just they pretend it's a fucking gastrointestinal issue it's like no it's just it's not an issue you don't have to go to a doctor for you don't need a pill for it and if it's like fucking probiotics you just fart sometimes dude oh how about this she says so she's silent but deadly i try to rectify it as much as i can by airing it away, but she goes, they can be pretty brutal. I mean, if you're saying that about yourself, you fucking – Yeah, guess what? This fucking girl is lactose intolerant and won't stop eating cheese.

I mean, this sounds like you're going to gasp. Take your fucking charcuterie board to the bathroom. Eat that shit in the toilet, you fucking animal. What? animal bro but you imagine the guy fucking trying to pull this shit that girls do it's just like yo this thing makes me fart brutal fucking farts i'm gonna fucking make you make it for dinner every night like what the fuck planet are we on right now, for a girl to say they can be pretty brutal means that you are just gassing rooms. You are just gas chamber, noxious gas, Agent Orange every time you step in.

Sometimes I think it's really funny to lock the door with the fucking padlock so it's harder for him to get out. So, all right, listen then. So this guy, he said, warn me when you're about to fart. He says, say quack to pre-warn him so that he can brace himself. And holy fuck, I just can't bring myself to do it. I tried once, but when I was about to, I just looked him dead in the eye and said quack. And then laughed so hard that I spit my wine out and I'm just not sure I can do this. Wine, guess why?

Because she had a charcuterie board in front of her. He quietly gagged in the corner and helped me clean up my wine. But there has got to be a better solution to this. Before you say, just leave and go to the next room, the vast majority of the time, I don't know if I'm going to fart. So preempting it is very difficult for me. So am I the asshole for not saying quack? Girls are fucking insane. They think they're the only people in the world that have to deal with a fart.

It's not that hard to go into the other fucking room. It's not. Like, oh, I just don't know. It sneaks up on me. Your farts aren't different than my farts. We have the same fucking farts. Farts are asexual. They're bisexual. Whatever one it is. I don't know. Pansexual. Pansexual. Farts fuck up everybody. It's easy to get in the other room with it.

Yeah. It's not hard. I mean, you know when your body's about to fuck it. Right. You fucking. It creeps up on you. You feel that fucking thing ghosting right past your pussy. You feel that thing making your goddamn floorboards creak. Who's that tiptoeing on my waist?

It's a fart, you animal! I tried to be mature. Sometimes I feel a ghost move swiftly past my pussy hole before I fart. No, it's not a ghost. It's a fart. Fucking get up and go to the other room and deal with it. Words of wisdom from Final Breath. I mean, quack is ridiculous, but I'd be like, hey. I mean mean it doesn't really matter because you know what I'm going to tell you to do

but I'm like hey can you go get me a sweatshirt or hey can you go get me a glass of water if we were in the other room I could say something and you're probably going to catch on eventually but it's better than quack so you're going to ask them to leave the room that's what you're saying well if this fucking lady is so

incapable and so fucking glued to the couch with her farts then i yeah i guess if it's gonna have me fucking clawing at the walls then yeah i'll leave the room like i don't mind getting up if i'm fucking like like just throwing chairs in a window trying to break it open and escape i'll leave I don't have to go around those lands to be like, this is my house and I pay half the rent and you gotta go fart in the bathroom. Remember that rumor that Charlemagne changes pants if he

farts and then he goes and he farts in the bowl? If he ever farts, he changes it. He takes his pants and underwear off to fart. Yo, if Charlemagne can have a goddamn wardrobe change before a fart, I think you can give the whole warning out there. Maybe change rooms.

It shouldn't be that hard. Charlemagne's like fucking Claire. Was it Claire? What's her name? Tommy Lahren. No, I was going to say, is it Claire? It was Claire.? Tommy Lahren. No, I was gonna say is it Claire? Not Claire Underwood. Carrie Underwood. Carrie Underwood at the fucking CMA's 17 outfits

for a day. If he can fucking pull that off, then... I think I don't want any of this. I think the farts, they do happen. I don't find them funny. I don't find them endearing. I don't like to share them, I don't like to make a thing of it

everyone try to suppress them go in different rooms, I agree and then when they happen, it's don't ask, don't tell and you don't bring it up I mean, I guess, yeah, like literally if it has me crawling, if it has me trying to get out the window, I guess so I'm preparing fucking paper towels

by the sink like the house is on fire. He rises! Get down! Stop drop and roll! Cindy farted! Stop drop and roll! I mean, yeah, if it's going to be like that,

I guess, but you know when you catch a whiff and you're just like, well, alright. Someone farted in here and it wasn't me and there were only two of us. So we know what happened and we're just gonna pretend like it yeah oh yeah yeah i bury my head in the sand but again like if he's in the corner gagging like what is he on lowering the bar like just fucking sniffing farts when one day that's gonna happen with lowering the bar it's just gonna be like you sit there and frank farts and you have to smell it oh my god frank farts into one of those like gas gas masks oh my god one of those i almost got into some saying it now yeah nah i know i know man

what else we got for Am I the Asshole? All right. Next up is, am I the asshole for telling my GF, girlfriend, when she can shower? Sub headline. Am I the asshole for telling my GF when to shower? Very much the same headline, but just slightly different. They do kind of change, though. When to shower and when you can shower are two different things.

Yeah, that's true. That's very true. It does change the meaning quite a bit, in fact. So my girlfriend and I have been dating for six years. During this time, her ex-husband has remained in her life as not only the father of their daughter, but also a friend. I've tried to be very reasonable and not be jealous of their relationship, but it's very hard. This is especially true because the ex wants to reconcile, though my GF has no interest. i should also mention that he's a very wealthy man oh yikes yeah to avoid lots of backstories and details suffice it to say that things have gotten progressively worse where the ex is concerned she spends almost every evening with them they

usually go out to eat about every evening together the daughter is 19, so she is gone and seldom at home. Now to the problem at hand. Buddy, I think we're already there. Oh, come on, dude. How can you be so oblivious? Now to the problem at hand. When the ex hanging out with her in the evenings until 9 or 10 o'clock, she has been showering and preparing for bed.

When I first heard about this, I told her it made me uncomfortable. Why? Because the bathroom doors are glass double French doors. She's agreed that she wouldn't take a shower until after he left because he could see her the whole time. This lasted about two weeks and then she decided that it was ridiculous for her to wait.

She's been taking a shower ever since, saying he has no interest in seeing her naked. He still wants to reconcile and so much about this relationship makes me uncomfortable. She says I am being controlling, manipulative, and insecure. Am I the asshole for trying to stop her from taking a shower when she wants?

So she showers late at night, like after she fucks this guy, right? Is that what's going on? That's gotta be what's going on. Right, so she's like, I gotta shower before I go home because I'm like covered in his cum. This is the problem.

This is why I hate all the catchphrases like gaslighting and manipulative and shit it's like no you are fucking your ex and trying to cover it up and this guy has an exceedingly simple request to stop not even stop doing it just stop showering there and you're like you're being overbearing. You're being a controlling manipulative. No. No, bitch. No. Dude, I honestly. This is insanity. I do think he's the asshole, but it's not for that reason.

Bro, your girlfriend is going to eat with her wealthy husband every night of the week. Until 10 o'clock. Until 10 p.m. When the daughter that they share is not there. She's 19 years old. She's off at uni because these are all fucking grits who have these goddamn asshole problems. British people can't come up with their own fucking – they can't answer their own problems. Yeah.

Can't answer their own questions. She's off at uni in a flat with her fucking roommates and she's in her fucking wealthy ex-husband's flat getting fucking DD'd. Yeah. That's dick down. I don't know why I said like down like i'm going to dig you down i'm getting dig down like this is this is you're the biggest asshole in the world for letting it happen even a little bit i mean she's an asshole for clearly banging her ex and showering off like all the evidence before she comes home. I almost feel like.

I mean, can you imagine? Could you imagine thinking you need to include the details that there's a French double door that's wide open? That's not the problem, buddy. The contemporary shower is not the issue, man. He gets a glance of her nipple through it. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. He just came inside her, man. Jesus. It's actually also like, and I, it's because I have, no, no, no, no. He just came inside her, man. Jesus.

It's actually also like, it's because I have such a poor sense of smell, but future reference, anyone hoping to cheat on me. Don't shower. I'll be more suspicious. Yes. I won't smell anyone else on you. You used to come home fucking, you know, with your breath fresh like mint. It's like, yeah, your parents knew what was going on. Your hair's soaking wet.

Right. What happened here? I just showered. You happen to fall into a koi pond? You definitely weren't fucking anybody, right? You just went swimming in the pool, right? Oh, yeah. Okay, totally.

Everyone's the asshole there. Except for the old guy who's just like, I guess I'm just going to keep fucking my ex. Yeah, I guess I'll just be rich and fuck my ex girl around. That works. That sounds pretty good. All right, last one, and then we'll do voicemails. Am I the asshole for assuming which name belonged to the human and which one belonged to the dog?

My mom lives in a 55-plus community. You're insane if you live in a 55-plus community. 55 years old, just fucking live in society. You're not that old. If you're 80 years old, sure, go fucking find a community with a bunch of other races you can fucking fly Confederate flags at. But fly confederate flags at but 55 years old you're very tom brady's almost 55 years old like you're very much part of society just fucking live regularly you fucking psychopath that's really what it is though that's that's an n-word society that's like i live with a bunch of people who let me say racist shit so

if you're 55 you're like i could live in regular society or I could go live in the Confederacy. That's so true. Just live. Like, that would mean, like, 10 years ago, my parents cashed out on regular life. We drive golf carts and fucking play shuffleboard all day.

We used to talk about you, weirdo. You're, like, still hot at 55. Brad Pitt's like 60. My mom lives in a 55 plus community. I lived with her for five months last

year, so I got to know a lot of the neighbors well. It's a new community, so a bunch of people have moved in since I lived there. I moved out of state and was visiting my mom for a long weekend this past week. While walking my dog, I had seen a woman and her dog a few times and was friendly to her, making small talk.

One day I ran into a neighbor I knew and she pointed to a house and asked if I'd met Dorothy and Squeaks yet. I said, I think I... I said, I think I had talked to her, but I hadn't officially introduced myself. Dorothy and Squeaks. Later that day, I saw the woman and her dog and introduced myself and said, oh, you're Dorothy, right? I mean, totally.

Absolutely. 100% you assume the human is Dorothy. The lady made an offended face and said, Dorothy is my dog. My name is Squeaks. She walked off. offended face and said, Dorothy is my dog. My name is Squeaks. She walked off. She walked off and the rest of the time at my mom's,

she gave me dirty looks every time I passed. So maybe these people do deserve to live in their own community. You fucking psychopaths can go live in the 55. All you fucking Squeaks and Sparkies can go live in a 55 all you fucking squeaks and sparkies can go live in a 55 plus community my god it's dark i'm squeaks oh my god Oh my gosh! Like, like... If for some reason your nickname is Squeaks, and you name your dog Dorothy,

I could understand that this happens, and maybe... Like, I could understand how this happens, but you could be offended by it. You have to go like, I see what happened here. I get it. Oh my gosh. I see what happened here. I get it.

Oh, my God. I get it. My dog. I have a dog named Michael. It's fine. I understand. I did the same thing with Spot and Michael earlier. I can't breathe Dorothy and Squeak I'm Dorothy

my dog this is my dog Squeak wait no I'm Squeak I can't even get it straight in the joke I'm Squeak and I can't even get it straight in the joke.

I'm Squeak, and this is my dog, Dorothy. We're on our way to water aerobics. A bunch of 49-year-olds. Also, I'm 10 years away from Medicare. Oh, my God. Oh, man, voicemails. Voicemails are brought to you by Cuts Clothing. Cuts Clothing. For anyone who's not living in a 55-year-old and up society where you have to worry about looking sharp and putting on real clothes every day.

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Thanks for taking my call. I have a quick hypothetical for you. I was talking to my fiance last night, and we're thinking about celebrity doppelgangers, and then taking another step and saying if you look more more like your mom or dad based on your features and i've always had a hard time recognizing this for myself i mean i look in the mirror a decent amount um but i still don't think i would i recognize any of those things so it got me to thinking you know if i saw a carbon copy of myself walking down the street i don't think i'd recognize myself um i think my family thinks that you know he can recognize himself walking down the street i i i i i feel so bad for this guy

who has to sit here and listen to his ridiculously dumb girlfriend say that she can't recognize her own goddamn face it is he's got to play along with this and she's like i'm gonna call kfc radio and he's like yeah yeah yeah okay like i get what she's saying actually when it's like do you look like your mom your dad i don't play that i don't know how to play along with this. And she's like, I'm going to call KFC radio. And he's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Like, I get what she's saying, actually, when it's like, do you look like your mom or your dad? I don't play that. I don't know how to play that game either. But if I saw my goddamn self, I would know. It is.

I would fucking know. It is a psychological experiment. That it is a, it's not as crazy as you think it is. It's a pretty well-known, we've talked about it before. Are you saying, like, if I, if you walked, saying if I went a crowded street and you walked past me? I didn't read the full study. I'll walk past you. I walked past Casey the other day. She didn't recognize me and I just kept moving. I drove past you two weeks ago

and I told people in the car not to honk at you. They were like, wow, that's weird. I was like, just say goodbye to him. Yeah, we don't want to do that. Thank you for that. I'm totally down with that. We just finished Friday Night Pints. I was like, no, just drive. Yeah, I'm with that.

Because guess what? We're going to pass him before he sees it. He's going to throw his hand up in the air. Definitely. There's no reason for it. But are we saying that if I, the clone, stepped up to me, I would be like, you know. I would imagine that.

In passing, I understand. Yeah, I think it's more like, I think it's a new generation thing. Not like a Gen Z or anything like that, but a more recent fad in the world that, like, we're all so body dysmorphic that you probably wouldn't recognize yourself walking down the street. All right, I can get with that one. But it is. Body dysmorphia, I'm down with. Totally get that. It's the only comfort I have in this world.

I'm like, I just have to bank on that being true. you guys don't see what i see because what i see is a catastrophe i'm just going blind like i i still don't know if i believe that i still think that some an ugly person invented body dysmorphia uh and like was just like yeah no no no like that's not what you look like yeah i mean i'm with you like i i understand it's a diagnosed thing but i'm with you in the sense of like i don't see how you could see me any other way right or i can understand like extreme cases where you have like eating disorders but like the regular ass me i think that i see my mediocre face and i just know it i don't look that good see my fucking handles and my fucking tits and yeah my yeah yep that's about right that's just what a body that's just what i am yeah yeah

for sure and i'm not like it's the most grotesque body of all time. But, you know. I'm pretty close, though. If I had options, I'd make some changes. Yes. If I would just. Many. If there was a wand and they were like, you want to fix anything?

I'd say there's a whole bunch I'd like to fix. Yes. It's not. I don't cry myself to sleep at night. I'm not about to have an eating disorder. Right. But if I could snap a finger. It would happen.

I would snap it. We'd redecorate. No doubt. For sure. sure fast no doubt about it also by the way i just i could i i know my my family is very clear genes in the sense of like two of us look exactly like my mom's side yeah yeah two of us look exactly like my dad for sure it's very clear very powerful genes that get one got overpowered half the time. Next up. Hi, guys. So I'm listening to your episode about I heard the voice mail about how the guy said how many times that you've like ruined someone's day or something like that.

And it made me think of a question um how many pictures do you think that you are in the background of randomly like you know whenever you see a picture on facebook or something and you're in the background and you just look like a hideous creature and you're like fuck my life how many of you think that you're in the background of like looking like a freak when someone posts on Facebook, they're like, Oh my fucking God, look at that loser in the background.

It keeps me up at night when I think about this shit. Six. I think I'm in like six pictures. I've never thought about this in my entire life. Oh, I have. I've thought about it. Maybe it's because I don't do anything anymore,

but I do not ever worry about being in the background of the picture. I don't go any places anymore that people are taking pictures. I've thought about it not personally. I've thought about it in the sense of celebrity.

Like, I've thought about it just like, how many times, even before, you know, like nowadays, celebrity goes out like they have an entourage

and that shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But like, I'm talking like, like how many times is Barack Obama in the background of the picture in the 1980s oh okay i just like like if like people looking at like wait is that obama is that obama back yeah i mean like no that's crazy he's like wait no we're in honolulu or right chicago we're fucking with the college uh the he was born in hawaii Went to high school in Hawaii.

I don't know where he was in the 80s is what I mean. I don't know how old Barack Obama is. He was in ISIS. He was Muslim back then. I feel like I get what you're saying, but we're not fucking – Chief Devin. We're not fucking Ghislaine Maxwell here, dude. We're not in pictures all over the place No I think back in the day we are Just like walking in the background

People just took pictures I think I'm in the background of a lot of pictures You think so? I'm not posing I feel like she always has a weird look on her I'm not looking at the camera Yeah of course you're fucking Go to Disney World

You go to Disney World. How many do you think you're in? You go to Disney World for one day, you're in the background of 700 pictures. I've been to Disney World a couple times. I've been to Six Flags a few times. Any scheme outing. I'm in the background of every picture.

We thought about maybe releasing some of the footage from that Disney trip on our next live show. Oh! What do you think? On the next live show? I thought it was going to be a, excuse me, a goal, a subscriber goal, but i'm down for either one i don't care either way we have a live show coming up uh wednesday yeah that thing's like 90 done and it just got

kind of buried with all the other work i'm down to release it when we can do it as a subscriber goal too i think i do it's fucking good what it's like, how many subscribers do you think? I mean, so what are we at now? 51K? What do you guys think? Do we want to do 60K? 75K? I mean, I thought of the 25K marks, but it just will be a long time before that. Yeah, let's do every 10.

Let's do 60. 60,000 subscribers on YouTube. Go to KFC Radio on YouTube. Subscribe to the page. If we get to 60,000, when we do that, we'll drop the Marty Casey Feidelberg family vacation to Disney World. I believe it's called the Rat Family Vacation. The Rat Family Vacation. It is so fucking good.

And it's just one of those things that just got buried over time. It's like the lost tapes. It's unbelievable. I remember it just starts off. I think we're early in the morning on the way to. It's unbelievable. I remember it just starts off. It's like we're early. I think we're early in the morning on the way to the airport. And me and Marty are arguing about fires. So it was supposed to be one five-minute video.

It turned into, I believe it's separated into five-minute videos. But for this, I'll release them all at one time. All right. So you're getting like a 30-minute show almost. So go subscribe to the YouTube. If I remember correctly, it's us going to the airport because Marty in a car with an Uber driver just asking him ridiculous questions. He's like, you think I could climb down that fire escape? Yeah, the fire escape.

We got a big fight about fire escapes. I don't remember what it was, but I just remember being – He's the king. I know exactly where we were. Did you see his latest? We were at the corner 31st and 3rd for this flight. I remember where it was. Did you see his latest with the toothbrush?

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, he just makes the puppets dance. It's unbelievable. Everyone being like, just put it in your mouth first, you idiot! He's the GOAT. We got that. We have us getting delayed at the airport and drinking.

And then we have us actually taking the flight and getting there. And then Disney and dinner. Dinner was its own thing. Dinner was drunk. Dinner was like one of the first times you gambled, I think. Like it was early on. Oh, really? Yeah.

I don't remember that. I was drunk. They're throwing the card around. All right. ronka yeah they're throwing the card around all right so 60 subscribers 60 000 subscribers on uh kfc radio youtube will release the rat family vacation oh so next week the 17th wednesday st patrick's day we'll be live on location uh at a bar somewhere we're going to test some things out to make sure we can pull it off but it will be the st patrick's day episode of kfc radio so if you want to submit questions you want to submit videos you want to be a part of the saint patrick's day show

it's brought to you by miller light so get your drink on and uh next kfc radio next wednesday kfc radio prime time with a another live episode uh that'll be the monthly episode from march also uh ufo hoodies are on sale now for the kevin clancy show self-doubt hoodies are on sale now for the Kevin Clancy show. Self doubt hoodies are on sale. Uh, our crew necks are on sale, uh, with the old school team USA logo. So a couple of new pieces of merch for you to go pick up. Uh, both of those are at store.barstool sports.com. Uh, so go buy the merch, get ready for the live show and subscribe to the YouTube to get the rat family vacation footage released.

Last voicemail. Let's go. So KFC fights. Um, I just want to ask a quick question and address something very quick. Um, but, um,

what is like something that somebody does that? Like when you see them do it, it certifies that they're a crazy person like they had the crazy person move like for example fucking jackie and her goddamn headphones tangled up can we please get this woman some headphones that don't have i hope you never because when i wake up and see that shit on Twitter, my head is already in the wrong mind space. Now I know she's a crazy person. So what do you think if it's something that someone does

that certifies that they are a psychopath or a crazy person? It's a waste of time. Like, they still work. I don't understand why everyone has such a problem with it. But, like, I guess because you're small, it's fair. But, like, that wouldn't, it just wouldn't reach my pocket. Like, I could have put my phone in my pocket with that. Yeah.

So I guess because you're little, you can probably reach it into your pocket. It's so small. But my torso is longer than that thing. This is like 18 inches long now. Don't get me wrong. The more that people push back the more I'm going to tingle them. You know what? And that's why you're on this show.

That's why you work here. That would make me – it's when people tell me to get rid of the wires on my television. I'm like, I am going to add wires that I don't need. I'm going to have fake wires just that lead to nothing that you're going to be able to see now. Fuck you. I love my wires. So, I mean, I wear the wired headphones. I don't let them get tangled like that because that's crazy.

But once people start pushing back, then you lean into it. Yeah. Then you should make tangled shit your brand. You're a psycho if you don't lean into it. Yeah, right. You just have to lean into those things. So many people would just be like, oh, my God, I don't want to get made fun of. I'm just going to untangle it.

Fuck that. No. Fuck that. I don't know. This is a hard thing because it's just like it's something you got to see. Yeah. It's like porn. You know it when you see it.

It is – you know a crazy movie when you see it. Also, I feel like people will say things like – I've heard this one before. Like if you don't use like a dog voice when you see a dog and it's like – I don't think – I think there are plenty of people who are like not like – What's up, fucking Dorothy? What's up, Dorothy? How are you doing, Steve? I think there are plenty of people who are like, not like. What's up, fucking Dorothy? Squeaks for Dorothy. How are you doing, Steve?

Like, not everything that you might do that other people don't do is good as fucking psychopath, you know? You're a sociopath. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, there definitely are things. I'm trying to think, like, off the top of my head. I got one, and this is, I know I'm wrong wrong here. It was something that bothers me. Someone who doesn't clean their fingers after every buffalo wing. Ah, I like that.

Someone who just stays messy the whole time. The face is ridiculous. I get it. And they just sit there talking to you, and they're all over their face and their hands. So yeah, man, I think LeBron's going to win tonight. I cannot even fucking... Did you see that video that was on the Instagram like a week or two ago? No. Guys who were eating wings and they're just like, yo, what up, bro?

Like, what's up, man? How you doing, dog? And they're just – I was like – but yeah, I'm with you on that. Yeah, you're going to make a – you're going to have a ton of fucking paper in front of you when you're done. You're going to fucking – That's why when I say I need extra napkins and they're like, here you go. And they give me like a couple more pieces of toilet paper. I'm like, no, no, no, no, no. I need a whole fucking tree And they're like, here you go. And they give me a couple more pieces of toilet paper.

I'm like, no, no, no, no, no. I need a whole fucking tree. Just bring the bark. I'm going to wipe after every single time I touch this thing. That's a good one. I like that. I think someone who fucking folds their toilet paper. Well, not folds, but refolds.

Like wipes, takes it out, refolds, does it again. Yeah, put that in the toilet and just gets it. I mean, unless it's like dire situations. Basically what I'm talking about is like, I want to take down trees. If you like trees, you're a psychopath. I'm with you though, to be like, you know. That bothered me when we watched Middle Ditch and Schwartz. When Thomas was talking about, he's like, I get like, he did the double fold.

He's like, I get great pride in like using a ton of toilet paper. Now you have fucking one wipe with the TP. Yeah. Fucking no matter how much is on there or not on there. You just get some new. Yeah. Yeah. I'm with you. I like that.

Those are, those are two good ones. I mean, there's like so many, but I just, I don't see many people like their ass though. So that's, I just, I just saw him mime it. I have never seen Thomas actually wipe his ass. He could have been lying. Uh, the, um, fuck. I just saw him mime it. I have never seen Thomas actually wipe his ass. He could have been lying. Fuck. I mean, I guess, you know, naming your dog with some weird shit is kind of a weird one. If you call yourself Squeaks and your dog Dorothy, I probably don't like you.

I probably hate your guts. This is something we should like open it up. People who button their pants to fold them. Wow. That's exceedingly specific. It's a fight me and my dad got into. It was one of the first times where I went, ooh, I'm good at arguing.

I was like seven years old, and I came downstairs, and I was like, whoever buttons my pants, stop buttoning them. I thought it'd get stupid for me to have to unbutton them to put my pants back on yeah and

my dad goes maybe they're easy to fold that way i go so it was you and my mom just starts dying laughing like this right away i was like all right fine it was you i understand human interactions now you are that's why you fucking defended it you son of a bitch because it was you uh and that stuck with me for some time now apparently so apparently so just fold your pants and put them in the drawer why you fucking need to button them i i say over the next week uh by two next next tuesday's episode or next thursday's episode whatever uh we'll keep an eye out for these things okay because there are things that happen you know like there will be things that i'm like oh yeah you're not a normal person at all yeah get the notebook out i'm just i'm just trying to see if there is anything in here it's probably

all i mean like we have that mi the asshole not too long ago we're like the family ate the oranges without fucking peeling them yeah you're fucking crazy i don't know tom brady breaking the ends off his bananas i don't know i don't know what goes on with you banana freaks i don't do bananas i don't know if the ends are good or not so i don't know if that's a weird thing or not but that's something i don't know uh but we'll uh we'll we'll compile a list of things that make uh and and and we'll tweet like we'll take them from twitter as well uh things that make you you know just an absolute fucking weirdo if you do or don't do we'll compile the master list that's like us and our listeners that's that our Bible. The question is going to be like what's something a crazy person does?

What are things you like to do? What are things? Just tell me things. How do you spend your Tuesday afternoons? We'll compile that monster list. Once again, go subscribe to the YouTube channel. Be ready for the live show on Wednesday. Buy the new UFO hoodies and self-doubt crewnecks

along with all our other merch, of course. And I'll see you guys next week. I'm going to wish you a good week. I've got some issues that nobody can see And all of these emotions are pouring out of me I bring them to the life of you

It's only right This is the soundtrack to the life. It's only right. This is the soundtrack to my life. The soundtrack to my life. To my life. To my life. To my life. To my life. To my life.

To my life. To my life. To my life. To my life. To my life. To my life. To my life. To my life.

To my life. To my life. To my life. To my life. Uh-huh. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.