KFC Radio - The Chernin Brothers and Rob McElhenney Pranked Danny DeVito (Episode + Interview)

Episode Date: August 20, 2024

Timecodes: 0:00 Start 01:23 Update on Feits eating 36 eggs in 8 hours 05:56 Feits is quite literally a pig 15:45 Hooking up after plane crash 20:15 Happy Birthday Texts 25:18 Famous Birthdays 34:22 Video Voicemails: Weirdo laws 43:59 Video Voicemails: One night stand with anyone from history 51:44 Video VoicemailsVideo Voicemails: Male Icks 01:05:01 "Incoming" movie 01:09:17 The dr*gs of our generation 01:14:44 Comedy movies are dead 01:21:34 Writing for Always Sunny 01:28:29 Writing the script that pranked Danny Devito 01:36:22 Sunny --> The Mick 01:38:18 When Chernin (aka their dad) bought Barstool 01:41:47 Questions about Incoming ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Gametime: Download the Gametime app today and use code KFC to easily score great deals with the new Gametime Picks! SimpliSafe: Visit https://Simplisafe.com/kfcradio for 20% off any new SimpliSafe system when you sign up for Fast Protect Monitoring. BetterHelp: KFC Radio is sponsored by BetterHelp. Visit https://BetterHelp.com/KFC today to get 10% off your first month.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. You wrote that? You wrote that? That was our first writing assignment for Sonny. We had written a script that year, and then at the end of the season, Rob came into our office. He's like, I've got this idea for an April Fool's prank for Danny. There was a time.

Are we running? We're rolling. There was a time when I first had my kids where me and John were like in a long distance relationship with a time change. In different time zones. Like we would be ships in the night. with the time change. Different time zones. Like we would be ships in the night. He'd be going to bed at four. I'd be waking up. Like we would either be connecting at weird hours or not.

Like I would text him and be like, John's going to see that in like 12 hours. Or he would be texting me and I'd be seeing it. It was crazy. Those are dark times, man. How many years ago are you saying? Like, I mean, you know, when my kids were, like, you know, under three. So, like, you know, five, six years ago.

Yeah. Oh. Ripping and running. Yeah. Yeah. Like, five, six, seven. Like, seven years. I mean, when they were born.

And then, like, it slowly got better until when they were, like, three. But in those beginning years, it was like, yeah, he was still ripping and running, and I was screeching halt. Screeching halt on that front. We are recording this on Thursday, the day after this man ate 36 eggs. Yeah. Glowing. Looks fine.

Yeah. Yeah, I think ultimately, I was like, I didn't eat too much yesterday. I think you probably lost weight yesterday. Probably, probably yeah we should have done a weigh-in that was stupid of us yeah you had three donuts and a pizza and yeah i did eat a whole pizza that's like on top of that's i would say it's standard for john it's all still inside nothing nothing yet nothing from it it might have had like a problem. We might, we're getting to like problem areas. Something's got to come out of something.

I hate when you keep saying it's all so inside. It is a gross way to say it. It's the grossest way to say it, but it's also like the least gross way to say it. Yes. I haven't shit my eggs yet.

I do feel like if I were to like slice your stomach open, like not organs, not blood. It would just be an egg. Oh man. That is, uh, that is,

is that something that eggs does? I don't know. Maybe that's like, you know, if you eat like a lot of cheese or some shit. Yeah. Yeah. I would imagine like you need some fiber.

I don't think they've had fiber. Yeah. We got, you got to go eat some raisin bran dog. Just throw a whole box of that on top i feel like the the the brand or whatever would get into the stomach and be like oh my god there's just too much for us to handle we need we need more get a little laxative this isn't gonna be enough i had a slice of pizza last night it got my stomach was like is that 36 eggs we're used the ice cream, but what the fuck is going on in here?

Who invited eggs to the party? I was ready to see my buddy Sour Patch Kids. I was ready to see fucking grilled chicken. Where did you guys come from? Oh, my God. That is – I mean that either proves one of two things or maybe both could be true at the same time. One, that challenge is just not as hard as we think it is. Or two, John is a pig.

He's a pig. I mean, he was struggling at the end. Were you? I was struggling once with the hardboiled because they got me some gross hardboiled. Like they were. You didn't cook them? No, they got them at the deli next door, which I've eaten from once. Not very pavs.

Is not good. But I was going to say, also, you eat those. What? Hard-boiled. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you eat the

hard-boiled in a pack, sold at the airport. But these were gross. You could tell? These were so Once I puked it

up or spit it up, Pavs was like, oh, yeah, that was disgusting. I'm guessing they put them in there in the morning, and it's just been sitting

in the water. When I bit into the egg, water had seeped in. It squirted into like a gutter like squirted into my mouth and i was like this i can't i can't eat this yeah and it was it was i think because of the water it was so diluted that it was flavorless and like it's just the texture it's just the texture of egg like i don't even like i don't even like the taste or texture particularly but i don't i don't i don't love it yeah i don't they're not i don't even like i don't even like the taste or texture particularly but i don't i don't i don't love it yeah i don't they're not i don't refuse to eat them but i'm i don't i won't

order eggs out like i won't get an omelet or something okay what do you think would like what would have been harder that's a comparable sized food like like 30 like 36 donuts would have been harder probably i feel like those are heavier that's probably heavier what's a good comparable for eggs i also just want to say real quick that after you ate like you're on your high horse about that one egg but like after you ate an egg a raw egg that you tried to eat that you then spit up on the frying pan and then you fried it up she's right and you thought that the other egg was a little too like like don't come crying about the fucking hard boy like when you were slurping raw ones.

Slurping. Oh, and then you did a raw one with salt and pepper, and you were going to put ketchup in it. That was pretty good. Would you rather have done another raw one than the hard-boiled? Yes, for sure. That's crazy. That's crazy.

I don't think I could do one raw without throwing up. It was a lot easier to shoot it out of the glass than it was to suck it out of the shell. The way the verbs you're using are just disgusting. It was just too easy, though. Too easy. I think you're a pig. I mean, the challenge, at least the way I saw it months ago, was in a waking day. And I did it between the hours of 11 and 6.

Yeah, I mean, you smashed the time record. When do you think this would get hard for you like 60 age 60 probably but at the same time you know also like I think at one point I posited that I am I have the most eggs inside of me any man's ever had inside of me

you think that like boxers and wrestlers and all that shit well then we googled it and Joey Chestnut once ate 141 eggs in 10 minutes. Yeah, those guys are – Yeah. I was like, oh. And then I felt like a real bitch to be like, oh, yeah.

I've been worried about – You've been hyping this up. I might spike my cholesterol today. Shut the fuck up, John, dude. I do think, though, that there's a strong chance that if we – let's submit you to the same testing that Olympic boxer had. I want to see your chromosomes. I want to see your DNA because I think you're part pig.

I think you have hog, like swine DNA. It would explain the pink undertones. It would honestly check a lot of boxes. Yeah, you live in Spain. Explain why I always shit on my balls. Is that what they do? There's one pig that like living filth? I always shit on my balls. Is that what they do?

Yeah, well, there's one pig that like, his balls hang to the back. It just like, slides down him. It's gross. But yeah, you do live in filth.

Yeah. You're pink. You eat like, anything in front of you. Okay. You know, and you're a lovable guy. But pigs lovable? Well, pigs are misunderstood. Pigs are like, what we do a lovable guy. But pigs are lovable?

Well, pigs are misunderstood. What we do to pigs is terrible. Pigs are, like, right below dogs. And we slaughter them en masse. We decorate their own homes. Right. They have emotions. They are very intelligent.

They make a living space. They decorate it. They, like, have partners, like, like all that shit and we wreck them yeah okay but it's like if one dog was ever to be killed it would be like a national story i have i have less respect for them because the sorry sorry sorry but in terms of headlines jackie in terms of evolution like i always talk about this how like i don't think there's just some certain species that aren't fully evolved. Their whole sweat glands thing,

the fact that they have to roll around in mud to just get sweat glands. You don't sweat. You don't sweat. You're a pig. Bro, you're a pig. What if I'm a pig? At the very least, you have a chromosome in there. You might be half pig. My mom did refer to it as her double birthing day.

That's very pig-ish. You actually had a litter. She has a litter on August 14th. You're a pig. Bro, the sweat cleanse thing is weird. That's solidified. Remember when we went to Whistlepig? He was like best friends.

They were kissing and hugging and eating food together out of the trough. They loved you. Everyone else was a little like, I'm a little scared. And the people at Whistlepig were like, be careful. John was like eating. He put an apple in his mouth and the pig ate it out of his mouth. The pigs were like, you're home. One of us.

One of us. This is not how I thought today's episode was going to go. You're a pig man. You're ManBearPigMan. I am a pig man. John asked in earnest what he thought his undertones were. What do you think? Jackie's been very kindly.

I bought some shirts that are kind of risky colored. And Jackie's has been like, not your color. Not your color. And I was like, what is my undertone? And to be fair, I went, is it pink? What the fuck do you think it is? You don't tan? I actually tan.

I don't burn, really. Is this you tan? Like, what's your tan line look like right now? Oh, you're tucked? Are you tucked? Yeah, I wasted pants on, too. Such a ****. Do you, like, when you go out in the sun, do you load up on sunblock?

I'll put on like 30. If I'm at the full beach day, I'll probably put it on twice. But you'll just pop the top and sit in the sun like this? Yeah. I mean, not for long. If I'm going to be outside all day, I put sun tan lotion on. If I'm a regular day. It's not a worry, though. No, Yeah. I mean, not for long. Again, if I'm going to be outside all day, I put sunscreen on if I'm a regular day. It's not a worry, though.

No, not really. Like, okay. That's crazy. Because you're pink. But I don't spend too much. If I'm going to the beach, I'm putting on sunscreen, for sure. But like, if I'm going to the beach,

I like dread it and hate it, and I'm like trying to plan it and all that shit. Yeah. No, I don't do that. I've had bad burns in my life. I think I'm probably just a pretty normal person when it comes out. Well, you're not normal.

You're not normal. Period. Let's see what happens with pigs. Do pigs tan? Yeah, I mean, from now on, I'm just going to have to base my handling of John on how we handle pigs. Yeah. Let me find out that pigs have problems with depression and self-esteem and i will i will cancel the show i can't do a show with a literal pig

like pigs don't feel good about themselves do pigs have feelings yeah they definitely do though it really is crazy how much we you know how much we kill pigs because other animals don't really know what's going on you know the chickens and the cows it's just like you know they're alive they're dead they don't really know what's going on pigs are like please don't slaughter me and we're like we're slaughtering you um the uh it reminds me that my my buddy like lived in like upstate california working on a farm and he had a. He got a dog while he was out there. He bought off a heroin addict. And he got a van with it too.

Got a what? He got a van with it. Right. He bought a dog, and they threw in the van. Yeah, threw in the van. That's great. But no, honestly, that's great. That's like a story.

That's like a book or a movie. It's like, and now me and my dog are going to drive cross-country in this van. That's what they did. It made skis. That needs to be like cross country in this van. That's what they did. Yeah. And made skis. That needs to be like. It's a movie. It's a movie. That needs to be called like me and my pig or like a boy and his pig or some shit like

that. Or a man, a pig in a van. He became a vegetarian because he learned that like the pigs were smarter than the dog. Yeah. And he was like, oh, this sucks. But then I accidentally gave him. Well, I didn't accidentally give him. I just gave him an Italian sub one day and he ate the whole thing.

And he's like, God, this is the best. This this is so good and then he remembered his fucking food it was meat i know somebody the same thing they found out uh they saw like the comparison between a pig and a dog and they were like oh my god pig is so much smarter they started eating dogs no but i do know you know robert kennedy but i do know people who don't are not like vegetarians and shit, but they're like – but I don't eat pigs because I think it's fucked up. Yeah. But I'm like, bro, you, one person, like have some salami, bro. The thing about pig is it's so versatile.

Like you might be like, I don't like bacon, but it's like if you have like any lunch meat, you're – aside from turkey, you're basically having a pig. Or if you have any sort of pork – how is it so – I think it's salami is pig, any lunch meat, you're, you know, aside from turkey, you're basically having a pig. Yeah. If you have any sort of pork. How is it so? I think it's pig, right? Actually, I shouldn't say that. I don't know. I know like ham and bologna and pork. All pork.

But it's just so. But pork chops are pig? Yeah. I think so. And lamb chops are lamb. Yeah. But I always, I think of those two things together, but they're totally separate. So, pig is very

versatile. You know, it's like, it could be a slice of bologna, but it can also be like this, you know, nice piece of... Look at that. Look how much we eat off a pig, bro. We just... Look at that. Look at that, man. This is... There's ribs. This is the bacon.

This is the ham. This is the fucking... is the bacon this is the ham this is the fucking oh people eat pig jowls you're disgusting but this is also good to know that if we ever get trapped in a in a like a snow setting we can eat john he's i've always said i should be the first i'm gonna look at this fucking chart and i'm'm going to be like, all right, slice off his ass. That's the ham. Jackie, you're eating his jowls. Jackie, you didn't even smile. You're like, yeah, you were probably going to be anyway. That's always a good question, too.

Yeah, that's you. You're the pig man. You are the pig man. That kind of looks like me. Honestly, that one definitely does. Who is that? That is for sure you. John Pork is a thing for some reason.

John Pork? Yeah, it's probably because of Final Pork. John Pork is called. Oh, my God. Oh, my God, dude. Bro, if you put on a bucket hat, that would be you. That's me. Johnny Bacon.

I'm in for that. Johnny Bacon's great. I'll be a pig. I'll be a pig. He's got more followers than you. He's got more followers than you. Do me a favor. Get a shirt and a hat like that.

Just that right there, that first picture. And we just got to do a side by side. I want you in that shirt and hat. You do the half vocal already. Have we done that like officially for this group? If we were like, who would we eat first? I would be last, right? I could see like a boys thing being like...

Yeah, like ladies. No, no, no, no. The opposite. Let's just get rid of Jackie, right? Oh, no. I don't think I would be part of that. I don't think... Oh, yeah.

No, me neither. I would be chivalrous too. I think... No, it's not about chivalry. I just don't think that Jackie's like an appealing... Oh, my God. Thank you so much. But looking around, I don't...

I think I'd be like guys it should be me. But would you mind starting with the legs so I can get a few bites for her? It would be like day two

and John would be chopping on his own leg. I'm hungry. We found a bunch of fruit and I'm fucking hungry man. Chop on my leg. We would have like we would be outside

like when we were on the blackout tour and we got stuck outside one night like it would be like that where we were on the Blackout Tour and we got stuck outside one night, it would be like that. We'd be outside for a night in civilization. I'd have my fucking belt off. I'd be getting a tourniquet on my leg. I'd be fucking sawing it.

Dude, there's a McDonald's. It's going to open in three hours. You can get Taco Bell. It's 24 hours. Do you think that the eggs have cooked inside of you right now? Yeah. Like, what if? What if it's the opposite? Maybe the embryos are growing.

That's what I'm saying. Three of them I didn't fucking chew. Three of them just went down as a full embryo. John could get pregnant right now. John needs to have a chicken abortion. Imagine you go to the clinic and they're rubbing on you. You're like, there's three chickens. What?

They're just coming out of your mouth. You're a half pig, half chicken. I posed the question. I was explaining to people yesterday your new rating system of how many days. Oh, yeah. And then it evolved into another discussion. If you were stuck on an island, same situation, how long before you are allowed to cheat?

Oh. Yeah, I kind of thought about this too. I think a month you could be like. Yeah, that was kind of the consensus in the discussion I was having. But I was also thinking like I wouldn't blame anybody for anything in that situation. So this is how kind of the conversation went. It was like if you were – say you were, say you crashed. Here's what's funny about this.

If you crashed with your boyfriend or girlfriend, I think you would go longer before you had sex than if you crashed with a stranger. Yeah. Right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because you'd be like, not now, babe. Like, we're fucking, I got to find clean water. I got to find food. We got to find shelter.

Like, there are days, there are times in a relationship you go a couple of weeks without fucking and you're just living in civilization. Yeah. So why all of a sudden when we're on an island, do I have to fuck you right away? Like, you know, because we're in a relationship. It's like, I'll get, I'll get to you in a month. We have to worry about other shit. But if you crash with a stranger after like eight hours, you think you want to fuck. Yeah.

I mean, that's just a testament because we're all pigs deep down but i if you if you fuck somebody and then like you know this the the the rescue plane came like in a day and you go home and and your girlfriend's like you couldn't wait a day dude okay but also the questions that come after are more about like you don't have to you don't have to say that part like the questions are gonna be i'm saying like but what if you just found out but like the thing okay if they found out like it because yeah i mean obviously we both just take that to our grave like we're good but like if if it was like if you know the other person went on the media tour and was like it was romantic we were fucking you're like bro come on but then another interesting wrinkle

if you're gonna do it i say you got to get it done within the first 72 hours because then everyone starts getting gross i was just yeah you know you don't showering no one's shaving everything is nasty uh you know people might have eggs in their bodies like who knows and it's like now i don't even want to fuck you so but if my girlfriend came home and and she was like i fucked that guy the first day i think i'd be like i don't even want to fuck you so but if my girlfriend came home and and she was like i fucked that guy the first day i think i'd be like i don't know you're probably under some pretty extreme such like circumstances and you're staring down the barrel of like we're we're gonna die here like we're i'm never we're never getting out of here i don't know whatever i don't think i blame

you it's intellectually i would understand it i don't i don't know how i would yeah like emotionally you don't really know until you're in it right but like intellectually i'd totally get it right i would and i would definitely get it after like a long period of time yeah i but i also think after a long period of time then you then your body adjusts and then like you don't need you know how like you don't need deodorant or shampoo so then you become less gross but then there's like your body just becomes less you don't care as much because you're both just becoming like

animals but also it's like I feel like then you resort to like natural like figure out some shit yeah some aloe

or like you just don't need I don't know and then and also you get more desperate as time goes on so that's just like

whatever can you imagine desert islands like six months in sex I don't know I know what you mean but I think it's just I think you would get hotter.

Like, yes, you would be gross for a couple months, but then your body would adjust. You'd be tan. Yeah, you'd lose weight. You'd be skinny.

You'd grow skinny. No one gets off Survivor and they're like, looking good. Yeah, because you're not like working out. You don't get protein and shit. You're just wasting away.

You're macy. But maybe like some fat people would be like, this is great. I'm fucking, I'm skinny. What? Nothing. No, I'm skinny. What? Nothing.

No, I'm saying. Pabst is like what? I'm just thinking of Pabst watching World War II footage. Damn, those people coming out of those pants looking pretty skinny. You want that concentration camp diet? The Nazis were just trying to get them hotter, that's all. They weren't killing them, they were fucking them jesus um you could be a runway model after a couple months yeah it's like what were you i just had you know like cigarettes and fucking it's like the the runway model cigarettes and cocaine yeah

we're on uh nothing but like gas and fucking... Never mind. Move on. Move on. I had three texts yesterday. I got a text. What's that? It's Love Island. Love Island joke. You wouldn't know.

You started at USA? Season six? Yeah. Let's go. I got three texts that were awesome. One, I got out of my shower last night and i texted my buddy like my best friend and like i was his best man um godfather to his kid like and i saw my phone i was like what's he texting me and this is my birthday i was like

we don't have that kind of relationship and then i opened the text and it was just yo did you introduce me to lost dog street band and i went yeah why and he went they're good and i went yeah and he went yeah and that was it okay he doesn't know it's my birthday thank god that would have been really weird if he knew it was my birthday that is such a good guy text too though i would have been like it would have changed the course of our friendship what the fuck fuck, dude? Yeah, I mean, that's a... Birthday texts from guys are a whole different animal than from girls. I feel like if you don't get it from a girl, that changes the trajectory of your friendship, right?

Yeah, yeah. For real, though, you'd be mad? I personally wouldn't just because I forget birthdays a lot. But if there's people who should remember, yeah, I hold it against you. Really? You do? You do yourself? Because i feel like in my mind i feel like at the heart of all of women's problems is like one group of girls because like like they all hate it seems to be i see every girl hates to do uh bridal showers and baby showers and they seem like bachelorette shit is such a fucking headache. And they like things like this.

They didn't remember my birthday, but then, then, but they all hold it against each other. Like if you all just agreed to not care about those things, you would just be like guys. So I feel like it boils down to like one girl who said she was mad about these things or we have to do these things.

And then all the girls followed, but you don't actually want to do it. Am I making sense? Yeah. I get, I don't know enough about like bachelorette parties and all that yet like i saw a video of uh it said like pov you're on a bachelorette party and the bride is an influencer and she had like 10 girls behind her and she's teaching them this dance you know for tiktok

and i was just thinking like how fucking insane is that to be like like you're a dancer and influencer fine but you're gonna make these like 10 girls some of the all different shapes and sizes all different coordination levels and they're all trying to learn this fucking dance for you and it's like but i also i think all that is like it like it matters the woman yeah that's what i mean like they all seem to be like oh it was such a headache but then when it comes time for you to do it you do it but what women i feel like what women like lack in like holding stuff like that against each other it's like they make up for in supporting each other yeah yeah exactly all that so that's all

i feel like my brother's fiance, they had a bridal shot. I didn't even know about it. And then I was like, how was the day? And they were like, it was pretty nice. Depends on the stuff that you make people do. But I see it's like you have to buy this, wear that. You can only have your hair this way. You're dressed that way.

What's that? So I feel like it looks so fun. But I have heard. I think it also depends on how many you've done because i think in the beginning it's like oh it's the first time and then when you're like 35 and you're like we've done this it's like expensive times yeah because it's expensive it's also what did you getting out of the shower have anything to do with in that it's just when i saw my phone like my phone was out and like got it yeah i could have just said i grabbed my phone yeah for some reason it was like why am i picturing him in a towel

okay who are the two others the two others were two other famous people who i share the same birthday as and the so and like so sammy adams is one maddie Trump! And we've said it before a few times. We acknowledge that we have the same birthday. So yesterday I texted him, happy birthday, dude. And I got back a thanks, man. And then, and then, and then. That's happened to me before. That's brutal.

I just didn't reply. It's a birthday, buddy. Yeah, thanks, man. Jen Vrabel texted me. She's like, it's your birthday, right? Happy birthday. And I was like, oh. It's a birthday, buddy. Yeah, thanks, man. Jen Vrabel texted me. She's like, it's your birthday, right? Happy birthday. And I was like, oh, that's right. I owe the big man a text because Vrabel has the same birthday.

Same thing. I was like, happy birthday, you old bitch. And he was like, thanks. I'm 39, you motherfucker, or something like that. Wait. No, then I had to Google it. He's 49. He lied.

Oh, okay. I was about to say, if Mike Vrabel's the same age as me, I'm blowing my head off. Oh, man, that's tough, man. I feel genuinely bad. Like, my heart hurts right now for you. That sucks so much. That stinks. It's like straight up Michael Scott.

Yeah. Like, happy birthday, Jan. Oh, I thought we had the same birthday. You didn't say anything after that. No, no, no. Both of us laughed. I was like, fuck. Man.

Sam Adams and Rabel were probably just going through the phone. Thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks. Didn't even think about this pig, fuck. Man. Sam Adams and Braybel were probably just going through the phone. Thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks. Didn't even think about this pig, man. Yeah, so I saw this. You're the 130,000th most popular August 14th birthday ever. Okay. That's not great. That's not where you want to be.

I was like 49,000 or something. Just saying. Just saying. You're the 12th most popular Leo podcast. Wait, but yesterday I was 21st. Wasn't I? You're just dyslexic. No.

Well, I didn't know. Pat, you told me this because then you were like, well, Glennie's 11. I wasn't one behind Glennie. I was a lot. Oh, that's right. You bumped up. It's because of the eggs. Yeah, the egg bumped me up like 10 spots.

No way. Joe Rogan and Alex Cooper, that's tough. These are all Leo birthdays? These are Leo podcast hosts. Bro, being the 12th most popular Leo podcast host. I will fairly take behind Cooper, Rogan, and Lex Friedman. I raise issue with the other ones. Wait, Sean Williams is hot ones, right?

No. No, Sean Evans. You don't have a picture either, though. I mean, if you're faceless, you're definitely not. Oh, you're faceless. Yeah. Oh, yeah. My bad.

Wait, wait. Stop swimming so fast. So Cooper, Rogan, Friedman. Yes. Glennie Balls. Glennie Balls is above Glennie Balls. Well, Glennie's bumped up too. Glennie was 11, now he's 9.

All right, now go down to the bottom. So I think you're third on this, fourth behind Lex. Spike Eskin I recognize. He's at WIP in Philly oh you're more famous than him yeah he was at wfm for a couple coffee and who's at the very bottom no yeah you're the fourth most i would even say like in certain circles it's so weird cooper and and rogan obviously above you in certain circles you are way more popular than lex friedman uh yeah yeah and then in certain circles he's way more popular than you so i would say circle i'll take the normal circles

yeah honestly the regular like he has way more like the statistics will say like he has more followers and shit but regular guys alexis kind of started to creep into that because guys are nerds and they like and he's gotten political and all yeah but i would say you are like tied with him let's like let's say me and and Lex Friedman go to a fucking Rangers game. Right. That's what I say. Yes, yes. You're getting more shout outs.

I'm a blue collar guy. Yeah. Yeah. And more importantly, people might be like, oh, that's like Lex Friedman, where people with you would be like, who's got smaller, you pink bitch? You fucking pink man, what's up?

How many eggs you got in your belly right now? People would know you, dog. People would know who you are. Alright, let's do mine. Am I in there? Yeah. So on the 46,000th most popular March 6th birthday. Gotta give a shout

out to my man Shaq. Gotta give a shout out to Michelangelo. You just never interviewed Dave Chappelle. I love how me cheating is trivia. Holy shit. Trivia. Fun fact. In a Twitter video, he said, I've ruined my life.

That's the funniest thing that's ever happened. That is the funniest thing ever on the internet. Fun fact. Hey, you got a fun fact? He said, quote, I've ruined my life. Holy Christ on the cross. Now, wait, I'm the number 40, I'm the 45th most popular 40-year-old Pisces? We are really getting specific with the rankings here. How many 40-year-old Pisces are in are really getting specific with the rankings here.

How many 40-year-old Pisces are in the game? I'm the number one March 6th author. That's pretty good. That's pretty good. I mean, I'm not an author. But I'm a writer. I'm the number one March 6th writer in the world. I think Michelangelo did write a couple things, though.

Man, I got some heavyweights, though. Keep going down. Is that Kevin Hart? Oh, no, that's just... First name Kevin. These are just people named kevin people are 40 and this is crazy um i'm the number five clancy who's got to be other than tom well though this is on the birthday right but who like you know tom clancy that's it i'm more famous than all these other motherfuckers yeah abby clancy i recognize that name uh i feel like

she's maybe a guess that Ass person back in the day. Really? I definitely recognize it. I don't know why. But yeah, I would say. Behind Tom. I'm the second most famous Clancy ever. No, am I? There's got to be another Clancy.

No? Clancy's popular, but not. I don't see it. Yeah, there's only eight on here. Yeah. Four, eight, ten. There's no famous Clancy's? But again, I think that's birthday. Yeah, it's what you share the birthday with. That you don't see it. Yeah, like there's only like eight on here. Yeah. Four, eight, 10. There's no famous Clancy's. But again,

I think that's birthday. It's yes. With that, you share the birthday. You share the birthday. Oh, right. So,

but who else is famous Clancy? No, I don't think that you share the birthday. Click the last name. Clancy. you might be right. Like Tom, Tom Clancy has your same birthday.

That would be a surprise. Yeah, yeah, yeah, right, right, right. I would know that.

Yeah, that's just, that's just, yeah, now we do. Okay, nevermind then. Huh? What are you so fucking surprised about, Pat? Huh? Yeah, yeah, yeah, right, right, right. I would know that. Yeah, that's just... Yeah, now he does. Okay, never mind then. Huh.

What are you so fucking surprised about, Pat? You're a huh. Fun fact, he's a philandering piece of shit. Fucking hate the internet. I truly hate the internet. Before fame. Fuck you. It is crazy how they knew.

Paz was like, how did you like Tandy Elementary School? And I was like, what? How do you know what schools I went to? Yeah, that is crazy. Wait, go back real quick. What's really funny is... Even knowing I did my freshman year at a local high school and then went to a different school. I've said i went to ports with abby i think you would just like yeah i would never know your your other shit but also

i made podcasts about dave chappelle a rod and ryan lochte i never interviewed them i was like i never day chappelle what no i just talked about them it's also ryan lochte is kind of a random one to throw yeah yeah yeah you know the big guns no it's because it was there was like i had a like documentary podcast thing and those were like the three main ones oh okay the ryan lochte one was a joke actually um i have a one of my business ideas is yes is we haven't done jacked up in a minute like somebody that you can hire to respond all your birthday texts for you so so have you seen instagram create the ai version of you anybody you can create an ai profile now that

does like things like that that like will reply to dms for you in like your tone of voice and i'm sure it would do things like that as well oh so they basically are creating this already well and i think it's for um if you're labeled like you know professional or whatever on instagram i don't know just like anybody can do it but anybody can just click professional you know so i think you create like a second page and i think it would say like jackie nichols and look like you and all that and people would think that like they're following you and talking to you but it's or maybe it's like integrated into your page it's not a second page but either way but i don't want

that like i had a few texts yesterday that i didn't reply to because the last text that person sent me was happy birthday and it's like oh we just don't have a relationship and that's okay cycle break the cycle of that if you if you see happy birthday thanks then you see happy birthday, thanks. Then you say happy birthday, thanks. And then they say happy birthday, thanks. Done. Stop that. That was the – yes, stop that. But also like I didn't say happy birthday to them. So it's just the last text we have is them saying happy birthday to me and then it's another happy birthday to me.

It's like we don't fucking – Also, that person is pathetic. If I pull it up to happy birthday you and you didn't happy birthday me, I'm done. And I didn't even say thank you to the last one. Oh, so you're just leaving them. So they have back-to-back happy birthdays with no response? Yes. Pathetic.

That person needs to kill themselves. I can't believe Nate did that. Game Time is the official ticketing partner of Barstool Sports, meaning anytime anybody at Barstool goes to a live event which is a lot of people going to all the best live event stuff in the country from sports to concerts to uh comedians to broadway shows anything live we go with game time because they are the best easiest and most reliable and most affordable ticketing app in the world and right now they have their new game time picks feature which basically cuts out all of the fluff, all the bullshit. When you go on your app and you see there are these tickets that are wildly like nosebleeds and badly priced or you see these really expensive front row. It cuts out all of the outliers, all of the bullshit and gives you the best deals and the best tickets that normal people like you want to see.

So you don't have to filter through all these things that are outliers, all these things that nobody wants to buy. It's all of the best tickets right there available. All you got to do is click and buy. Everything downloads easily. Everything can be transferred easily to the people you're going with. It is the most seamless ticket buying process on the internet today. Right now, go to GameTime, the app, use the promo code KFC, and you can get all of these deals, flash deals, different geographic deals, different times, all the best prices available. That's GameTime. Use promo code KFC. Check out their picks feature today. Hey, what's up, guys? I was just listening to a couple episodes ago when you guys were saying that

there should be like a common sense law And that pretty much anyone doing anything abnormal should be putting a felon time out. And I think that's a great idea. I think there should be a whole weirdo law enforcement. If you catch someone doing something weird in public, you call the weirdo police. They get arrested and sent to weirdo jail for a couple of days and then they get put on trial in front of a bunch of normal people that's the jury just all selected normal people and then if they're convicted uh they have to uh go on like an official weirdo registry and walk around the neighborhood.

Love that. And tell everybody whatever weirdo felony they got convicted of. And if everyone wants to, they can kick him out of the neighborhood. This guy hates weirdos. So yeah, I think that's the end of Kevin's presidential run this year. Dude, weird is having a moment. The word weird all over the political world. Yeah. That like, you're weird. No, you're weird. Weird having a moment the word weird all over the political world yeah that like you're weird no you're weird weird is a great word though because when you're a weirdo

and you're just being weird people don't like weird it's weird weird is weird arguably the most successful political campaign ever yeah you're right they're weird dude i'd rather be like somebody call me like dangerous or violent or because that weird is like no you don't want to be the weird guy you don't want to be the weird guy it is like the weird is weird is bad and the first thing that came to mind when he said this the people who talk on speakerphone in public weird it's a weird thing it's a weird thing it's just it's just weird that you're like first of all this is pretty well talked about have you never seen anything where like, you're an asshole for not having headphones or whatever? And secondly, like, why would you think that this is an okay thing to do in public?

You're weird. There's a guy at the gym the other day doing it. Just like, I was like, dude, we're in a gym, dude. You're announcing your fucking thing. Now, but I think there's levels to weird. Like, that guy's weird, but he's probably not as weird as, like, a guy who goes out to a girl and does weird shit at a bar you know the other day a guy um i was in like the duane reed below and he was kind of like checking me out and he went up behind jackie oh sorry you're good now can you hear that's not so easy um and he came up behind, like, when we were in line,

and it sounded like he got on a fake call. And he was like, I said, fire him. Or he didn't say I said fire him. He said, I said, like, take all of his accounts away or something like that. It was, like, something, like, super threatening. And, like, I was listening. There was nobody on the other end.

I'm 90% sure he, like, was just faking that. I've done that when I was like 18 really yeah it worked though i said execute the trade for 10 million dollars it was like it like i was like the ceo or like vp of an insurance company she was an older woman i peter oh yeah yeah yeah yeah um yeah we were watching the denzel movie I forget what it was was that also the one with the you left like a note on the fridge or something like that no I checked the fridge to make sure they weren't kid pictures

right right that's what it was I knew there was something about the fridge yeah fuck sorry oh it is just unplugged can you hear me now that was your mic so I have 50% to blame sorry anyways oh one thing that i've been thinking about

for a full 24 hours what the fuck welcome to the third chair dude by the way third chair already everything i've wanted to accomplish has been accomplished yeah totally so much better that yes sure jackie you're doing great oh right away she's like we gotta fix the lighting Everything I've wanted to accomplish has been accomplished. Yeah, totally. So much better. Yes, sure. Jackie, you're doing great. Oh. Right away, she's like, we got to fix the lighting in here. We're all going to look fucking amazing. We've been looking like dog shit for 15 years.

One episode in, we're going to look amazing. Every time we have a clip, I'm like, I don't think I look like that. First of all, I was talking about the lighting over there Jack's like we need new cameras and we're gonna yes

yes it is like I I don't know take it away from me I'm not a man of authority Jack's been hit in the face with that like too many times

I was gonna say one more and I think she's going to be mad. I turned the corner yesterday and hit her with one. I had it on auto, whatever. I'm not a two-way guy. Safety? No, the other one.

Automatic? Automatic. It was like. Yeah. It goes like this. And it's just not very accurate like that. The first bullet just drilled her in the face. I was like, fuck.

Single shot is a little more accurate, but it's a good game. Anyway, you're a weirdo. So much hair on that. Yesterday I saw... I feel like I always have homeless man stories. It was a guy... He had one of those accordion full binders. I feel like I always have homeless man stories. It was a guy, okay, he had like one of those accordion full binders with a bunch of lemon slices in it.

And so for the past 24 hours, I've been thinking, is he trying to organize his lemon slices? First of all. Second of all, maybe like he just wanted to store his lemon slices somewhere and like that just happened to be

the only container he could find how is he slicing a lemon like I guess it's not a crazy thought that he would have a knife but like

what's the purpose of you even like that's a crooked ass shit to do you know that's crazy there dude

just a gorgeous binder of lemons is hot it's so cool it's a real Charlie Day show. Yeah, I was going to say. It's like he walked into a meeting and he's like, Charlie, take out the papers. What's in your paper?

He's like, no, these are lemons. And it's also like the trope of cricket with the lemon. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he was literally shuffling his lemon slices. I was like, are you reorganizing? I honestly, I trust that he... Was he sitting on the corner? Where was this? slices i was like are you reorganizing i honestly i'm sitting on the corner um this was honestly nearby where we it's like on the yeah but i'm saying he's just on the street he's on the street

yeah but i almost like trusted he was so like it was so organized where i'm like you have a system yeah with your own incisors well i mean he would be offended if you thought it was 2 000 bananas you Yeah, exactly. I get it. I respect it. What if he offered you one? Take it. I'd be like, which letter?

I offered you a lemon in his trying time. No, it's okay. I probably wouldn't take it. No, I might. I might.

The guy takes great care of his lemons. You're taking a stray lemon? I don't think putting lemons in accordion folders is that good of taking care of lemons.

He clearly has an order. Yeah, but it's not like a Tupperware or something. Look, when I cut up a lemon, there's nonsense to it. I don't know what's happening with the lemons. He's all business. He knows what he's doing. He's got a plan for his lemons. You've got no plan.

Your lemons are just plant lemons. Can I tell you something? Most lemons I cut up, I throw in the trash. Because it's always... Wasteful of lemons. It's always part of the recipe. Yeah, you need one squeeze and then the rest goes away. But I don't even do that.

Because I'm like, that's not going to do anything. Oh, I love a lemon. I love lemon. Yeah. Like, if there's a lemon squeeze, I'm squeezing that lemon. But I like getting just, like, the concentrate. Because I don't like dealing with... Well, I love...

You know what I love? Those yellow bags you put over the lemon. Oh, those love those catches all the catch all the seeds and all that shit but you get the juice that's one of those like simple um underrated uh inventions yeah whoever made that's probably like a billionaire yeah yeah yeah yeah that's a good one um anyways anyways the weirdo court i think we'll probably need to go like full-blown china here with like black mirror like social social scores yeah but i think like you there is levels to your weirdo and like you need to like you you carry around like your cell phone like lights up blue if you're like kind of a weirdo and like red is like you're a super weirdo you know what i mean reds you've been convicted

of rape yo you are so weird because it's like i don't want again like you know oh that one time i like you know was really like i i went on our first date and i was awkward versus like you know i'm a total deviant weirdo yeah it's like we gotta know these things yeah so like like it's just like it's like regular court it's like you've been convicted to like uh probation versus like life in prison it's like there's levels to it it's like you were kind of weird you're on weird probation i don't think you can get voted out of your neighborhood and i don't even necessarily need think you need to go around announcing it like like a sexual like a like a pedophile does but i think like your mailbox should have a flag

on it like you're kind of a weirdo and if you're cool like your mailbox is a different color and it's like oh you're you're like i'll be friends with this neighbor it should be something you could look up and i also think you need to be able to uh earn your way out of it like i have been not weird for like you know six straight months it erases my weird my one weird thing i like weirdo court too weirdo court's great i almost think you need to mix in maybe a a little bit of weirdos like in your in your jury though you know like you kind of it's like i don't like the weirdos but they you gotta they deserve to be heard on some level you know or maybe a reformed weirdo or whatever it's like a jury of your peers it's like you got to make sure you have the right mix of races and creeds

and all that can't just be normies because we'd all be like, kill him, put him. Isolate him, get rid of him. But Weirdo Court is – that'll be a part of my KFC 2024 Weirdo Court coming your way. What's good, KFC, fights, all y'all? Long time, long time. I was listening to the Cleopatra thing on the last episode. It made me think, right? I'll just get straight to it right if you could with anybody anybody in history have just like a one-night stand and just go back like you go back they don't go to you you go back to them like you get to choose

the year you get to choose when they're in their prime all that shit who would it be like i'm pretty sure i've had this conversation with my friends before, and, like, we've gotten some weird answers before, but, like, I feel like there's a lot of baddies back in the day. Like, I feel like there's a lot that if I could just go back one time, like, I would. So I'm curious. Who would be, like, your one-night stand in all of history? All right.

Peace. I got an answer. I got an answer. I got a lot of answers like helena troy's like you launched a fucking war like a like a legendary like thousands of people lost their their lives over you you must have been something or i want to be like you guys were crazy this bitch is just like totally normal like you should like, we got thousands of her in 2024.

Yeah, that's the thing. Maybe this was a big deal in ancient Greece, but like she gives bad head, dude. I don't know. What was the fuss? Helena Troy has no ass. But that was my historical one

was for sure her. I think Helena Troy, I had, you know, there's Cleopatra, Medusa, sure all those guys. I'm not fucking with Medusa. those guys i fuck with medusa i fuck with you you definitely yeah you would risk turning to stone for a chance i'd be like i want eye contact i want eye contact yeah yeah she has snakes for hair if you look at her he turned to

stone no i know i just i would fuck you i gotta go i gotta put marilyn monroe on the list marilyn monroe sure she i've actually looked at like that's something that like people said it was almost a superpower like she would be incognito and be like do you want me to turn the marilyn on and then like all of a sudden they would be walking the same thing and like everyone would just look at her i believe it really oh my god i want an aura like that yeah i'm for sure but i mean she had like you know the like some of the most baller men ever at her fingertips, you know, like,

and I mean, a lot of girls can do that, but when you have like JFK, Joe DiMaggio, Frank Sinatra, like all those guys, like you had, you were doing something.

There was something. Oh, Nancy Reagan. Yeah. It's throat code. But I don't want to, yeah. I'd be like,

Nancy, you're just sucking my dick. That's it. I am not reciprocating to Nancy, Nancy Reagan. There's also, like, Abe Lincoln. Naturally. I think Abe Lincoln had the worst dick game in the world.

I think fucking Abe Lincoln is one of the worst guys you can fuck. He's all tall and gangly. I think... Do you think Abe Lincoln, like, threw down? I like i think i i think you think abe lincoln like threw down i don't know i think i'm just thinking this because of the new play oh mary uh but the abe lincoln was gay abe lincoln was gay i could see that yeah i could see that yeah i could see that there's like there's like no aside from mary and his kids there's no evidence of him being straight his entire life like he lived with guys for four-year stretches. He was a gay guy.

That's good. Abe Lincoln was gay. That's why you're into him. But I just think it would be sick. I don't even care about the fucking. In fact, it would be dope to any time Abe Lincoln. The thought of you fucking Abe Lincoln is It's so horrendous. Just like giving Abe back shots.

I don't think that Abe is like the... Footstool? Still has the hat on. He's got the hat and the beard, and you're just blowing his back out. But wouldn't it be sick, like, any time... Like, Abe Lincoln comes up pretty often. Abe Lincoln's a pretty still-disgust person.

Like, wouldn't it be sick just like... Any time he's like, oh, I fucked him. pretty often. Abe Lincoln's a pretty still discussed person. Like, wouldn't it be sick just like anytime he goes, oh, I fucked him. Oh, Abe, yeah. No, Abe sucked my dick. How about, you know,

Kennedy had that thing with his buddy. Remember when Kennedy said, like, his best friend, like, I'll allow you to suck my dick, but I'm not gonna suck your dick.

I would probably, I would probably let JF allow you to suck my dick, but I'm not going to suck your dick. I would probably, I would probably let JFK let me suck his dick. That's cool. I agree with that. Who would it be for a guy? I mean, Paul Walker was the first one that came to mind. Great one.

Paul Walker is probably the hottest guy who ever lived. Yeah. Do you have any historical people? I'm, like, so bad at history, too. I don't really even know. Also, to speak up here real quick, if I did go back in time and fuck Abe Lincoln... Let's just go back to Abe real quick.

I just want to clarify a couple things. I'd take the credit. I'd be like, you know, I'm the one who told him the freedom of the slide. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was a little pillow talk. It was a little pillow talk. I was like, Abe, you know, I think all humans are humans.

And he'd be like, you know what? That's not so bad an idea. Let me write this address for you real quick. What if I went back in time and fucked Abe Lincoln, and I told him, and I was like, just so you know, because like homosexuality didn't become a thing until like the 17th century. Maybe – no, 19th century. Well, I mean the Greeks were fucking – But like the idea – I was like, hey, you know, your people are going to be persecuted too.

You want to be on the right – Yeah, yeah, yeah. What? Yeah. Yeah. They're not exactly the work in the field types. But they're going to have their own issues. They're like, we've got to stop this.

I would take so much credit for freeing the Slays if I fucked Abe Lincoln. I think for guys, you'd have to go. I think Sinatra and Kennedy are two heavy hitters i think uh i think i would want to i think i would pick george washington i think he was i think i just think that's one that it's kind of like that's gross i think it's gonna be gross but like i think he was like when you're six three and everyone else is like five three and you're the general and the president and all that shit i think he was just like the big swinging dick yeah he was the man i think about who's the guy i don't know what really i think about him a lot but who's the guy who like they tried to kill him like eight times and he just wouldn't die they like would

shoot what he was a uh like a political guy he was like almost a political guy he was like 50 cents he was like fucking... Wait, what's his name? It's not Rasputin. It's... Oh, wow. We're going deep. Maybe it is Rasputin.

Rasputin? Yeah, I don't know enough about Rasputin. Yeah. I don't know. But they tried to kill him, and he just would have died. And I think that's kind of hot. Jackie's like, that's the only kind of people I can fucking believe he was shot three times

Rasputin yeah that's probably him then but they also like then tried to poison him they tried to poison him and then

even when he was shot three times then they threw him in the lake and then like when they did his they looked at his body it's like he didn't even die from the gunshots

it was like he died from just like drowning like at the bottom of the ocean really he was that dude and there was something else too before then like earlier in his life somebody tried to shoot him again is do you know all this because i believe there's a rasputin movie coming out is

this what is that why you know this or do you know jackie master base she reads rasputin i've been trying to fuck him for you. I literally don't know anything about history, but that was it. I mean, Rasputin's a deep cut. That was a good poll. I'm Googling to make sure there is a movie, but I think Willem Dafoe stars in a Rasputin movie coming out. Yeah. All right, last voicemail.

Sup, fights, Jackie, Kevin, the whole gang. First time, long time. So I'm currently following my girlfriend in a U-Haul. And she's a very, like, independent woman, you know. Like, love her to death. I respect that. Love it when she kind of takes the reins. And we're moving cross-country right now.

So she's kind of wanting to, like, step up and, you know, do the things that she normally wouldn't do. And driving a giant U-Haul right now is one of them. And driving in a place where we haven't been before and just watching her almost hit like four cars on a street and take like five wrong turns because she wants to be, you know, how she put it, useful. That's her words, not mine. My question for you guys is, you know how girls do that, like, it gives you the ick thing? Is there a guy version of that where their girlfriend or someone they like or have a crush on, like, does something that's just like, oh, fuck.

Yeah. I guess that's my question for you guys. When you see their underpants. That's a great version for guys because watching your girl do something like that. When you see the underpants in the laundry. What's going on there? Love you guys.

That's what's just happening down there all day. That's such a fair point that's why laundry became a stereotypically women thing girls were like don't do the laundry I've actually had that thought before I wouldn't even want anybody, a man ever touching anything

a t-shirt that I've worn the amount of spray tan stuff on it is just like... It looks like I'm melting off. Dude, the U-Haul thing... It's probably my favorite Family Guy clip. I know they have a lot of timeless ones. There's the Italian

salad. It's great. The pizza salad. Whatever you call it. Pizza shop. They just cut a head of lettuce in half and a tomato in half and they throw it in. Any pizza is's perfect yeah but the u-haul clip was a guy driving a u-haul on the highway just running cars off the road and he just leans out the window and he's like sorry i'm making a go of it in a new city like anyone who drives a u-haul i mean it's it's crazy that like you you think you can do it it's's very, very hard. It's very different than driving a car. You can't see out of the back.

Like it is very fucking hard to do it. So when your girl is like, I just want to be useful. It's like, this is probably going to be worse than you being not useful. Yeah. Yeah.

I've never driven it long. We drove from New York to Boston once. Yeah. With the couch. So just buying a couch in Boston. And I drove it once. I drove once. I was moving to Boston. I was kind of molly and uh the we were moving and i just found a pill and i was like should i take it yeah it was mom it was like 7 a.m i was like fuck it's gonna be a

long day so this was it was now midnight so i wasn't really on molly anymore but i was driving to u-haul that's very fun and uh but it was on star road drive from boston like it's you can't it's a very like it's gonna happen today like they they move it like august end of august is a big moving day oh yeah someone always will crash like you all don't fit on star drive and i was like fuck i'm on star drive and there's nothing you can do yeah luckily i had an exit before ever i got to a bridge everybody everyone will crash into yeah'm on Star Wars Drive and there's nothing you can do. Luckily, I had an exit before I got to a bridge. Everybody hits it. Everyone will crash into, not everyone, but every time there's a moving day, someone will hit a bridge on Star Wars Drive and back everything up. I think the male ick is... I have a question.

Yeah. Sometimes I feel like girls will almost like run tests on guys. Yeah, that's stupid. I hate that shit. Do guys do that for girls at all? I think that's such a dangerous game where it's like, you know, I was testing you and it's like you passed or failed. It's like, fuck you. Not necessarily like an on-purpose test, but like.

But it's like something occurred and we're going to watch. We're going to watch. I'm going to see how you handled it. I mean, that's, yes. I've done it. I think if you get food at a restaurant and it's not cooked to your liking and you flip out about it, it's like, I didn't set up this test,

but this was a test that came up and you didn't handle it well. Yeah. But I think if you do anything to set that up or do it on purpose, you suck. Yeah. I've had like, hey, can you do me this favor? And then they don't do it

and i get mad about it internally yeah but i'm like i didn't it wasn't a setup i just asked you to do something for me because i was busy or whatever and then you didn't do it and that kind of pissed me off i wasn't it wasn't a grand plan to see something it's just like girls don't really do things yeah if you ask them to do things i don't really do things what do you mean i don't know it's like girls do all out of their shit, but I feel like I feel like guys don't really often ask

Yeah, that's why you remember it. And then when you do, it's like, can you do it? Yeah. It's like the one time that will be like, I need a little help. And then if you don't do it, it's like, well, that was like my one ask for the last decade. So it's probably going to stick in my brain for a long fucking time. But I feel like girls are always the ones doing stuff in relationships.

Yes, that's what I mean. You do all the shit that you do. But when you need stuff. But if I need maybe something else. An ask. Yeah. I just think that it usually is. We'll work on it.

Sorry. I'll talk to the girls. We'll figure it out. The next meeting, you can bring it up. The guys say, do their favors. The ick's so hard to do because ick is such a perfect word for it like i i don't i can't think of anything i mean anytime you know every time you eventually break up with someone they've done something or a string of things to make you feel like i don't want to be around you anymore yeah you know ick is a little more

specific than that where it's like you give me the heebie jeebies. But like, I also think it it feels like most of X are men being or looking not particularly masculine. Yes. Whereas like you jumped over the curve. There's a lot of like masculinity is so tightly defined that there's a lot of ways to slip out from that. Yeah. Whereas I think femininity is a lot broader and maybe I'm wrong.

Yeah. But like it's hard. It's also hard for a girl. of ways to slip out from that. Whereas I think femininity is a lot broader. Maybe I'm wrong. It's also hard for a girl to all of a sudden look like not a girl. Right. You'd have to do something really extreme, like lift a thousand pounds. Right. There could be a funny version of that. Like if I

saw a girl do like, I think I would like it actually actually but if a girl did like one trip from the car with all the grocery bags it was just like walking like a strong man and like plopped him down i either get the ick or i'd like get down on one knee one way or the other you know but i also feel like there's like this like perfect little dainty you know thing that we have to like try and be yeah i mean if you like fart or some shit that's gonna get a lot of guys ics yeah yeah yeah the uh if you're in the bathroom and you know it's probably something about eating like if you ate like you know that big that thing that i'm probably

not much of a trend anymore but like girls or guys couples filming themselves trying to match the speed that they help their partner eats at partner eats at. I found that one strange. I feel like those guys eat fucking fast, but I guess you would do that. I was going to say, it's all I see now. Yeah. Like, every time I'm eating next to a girl, I'm like, I'm done. You've had two bites. Yeah.

I think I might be more like a girl on that one, though. I'm not wolfing things down. But I've also been on dates. Like, I say that. I've been on dates with chicks who just fucking whack wings wiping it i noticed but it didn't really bother well that's the ultimate thing is at the end of the day it's like okay that was weird let's go fuck yeah whereas girls will be like i never want to talk to you again that's the problem watching love island makes me feel better about like x and everything because as like a viewer

all there's a point throughout the season where you hate there's like every character you hate at some point or not hate but you're just kind of like you get the egg from them a little bit and then they can come back around like there's always like well yeah the yeah it's like x are just like little things that are like harmless that the person didn't do on purpose that women throw you to the fucking curb over it's like oh maybe i should have given that guy a second chance because he tied his shoes bunny ears instead of you know that would be fun for me historically the uh number one thing a girl can do to give you the ick is fuck you you're like the ick is fuck you yeah that's like the ultimate like

you guys like after you fuck yeah it's not an ick it's just uh well that's what i came for yeah yeah your brain you don't you don't realize it and then your brain kind of betrays you you're like fuck i don't want to feel this way but i definitely i'm not into you anymore or it's or it's like do you want me to be honest about my emotions yeah not so into you it's like when they're like like when girls like i just like just be honest it's like okay i was really really into you and i thought i was like in love with you and then we fucked and everything changed but why i think i don't know it's biological it's fucking chemical it's i mean i have had that where guys not related to fucking,

but I'm just like all of a sudden like, oh. I mean, I think there is actually something biological where it's like we're supposed to fuck multiple women. It's like, all right, that one checked off the list. I'll tell the girls about this in the meetings. Let them know. We're fucked. All right, we girls, we have to change biology.

All right, show over. You know what I just found outside my house? Deer bones, okay? The vertebrae of a deer. I don't know what that means. I don't know if that means that there's some coyote that's eating up my precious baby deers and just leaving the bones near my door. I don't know if there's some sort of cult who's doing animal sacrifices.

I don't know if there's some sort of cult who's doing animal sacrifices. I don't know if there's some sort of burglars leaving a calling card. All I do know is that I got to get SimpliSafe installed immediately to find out what's going on. I don't know whether I'm fighting against humans or ghosts or ghouls or demons, but I will find out with SimpliSafe because they are the best in home monitoring. 24-7 protection against floods and fires and burglars and other natural disasters. They have their fast Protect Monitoring System, which means after an alarm, they will respond in five seconds. Right now, when you sign up for SimpliSafe.com,

use promo code KFCRADIO, you get 20% off your first month when you sign up for that Fast Protect Monitoring System. That's SimpliSafe, S-I-M-P-L-I, safe.com. Use promo code KFCRADIO to get 20% off your first month of protection. Hot out there. Bro, it's the worst. I'll be running. I'm just ready to rock.

I'm over the summer. And I've been over it for a long time, but 90 degrees. I just came back from a summer trip too, like a week off. Now I'm really done. I've done my summer things. And we'll talk all about your project in a second. I've got to get this off my chest.

Yeah, yeah. If you don't mind, hold on. Thanks for coming. I'm going to complain about the wood. Let me just tell you something that happened to me. I'm an Irish guy. I'm pretty fair-skinned. But I used to be able to get tan.

I would burn sometimes, get tan sometimes. As I got older, I can't be in the sun. This trip, something happened to me, bro. And I Googled it, trying to figure out what was going on, and I narrowed down what I had. Do you want to know what I had, what it was called? Please. There's three different terms for it.

Most commonly known as hell's itch aka the devil's itch aka suicide itch it means like like it's not like when you get a sunburn it's just like topical like something on your skin's reacting this is like your body's like internal allergy it's like an allergy i have an allergy to the sun basically great my skin wasn't even red. My skin was not red, and it was itching so much. I was up to, like, three in the morning. I took, like, a two-hour shower in the middle of the night. And then I wake up in the morning, and my kids are like, let's go to the

beach! And I was like, no! Do you have the proper apparel? Like, are you out by the pool dressed like a beekeeper? Now I've got, yes. I'm, like, one step away from, like, a hijab. I'm gonna show, like, nothing but my eyes. I got a big hat. I'm like one step away from like a hijab. I'm going to show like nothing but my eyes. I got a big hat. I got a sun shirts on, a hood on.

I keep my pants on. I go to the beach like dressed like this, but with a long sleeve shirt. Do you go gloves? Are the hands exposed? Bro, I'm at the point where if you will give me something to cover my skin in the sun, I'm fucking doing it. I mean, kudos to you for not coming back absolutely scorched. I just stayed the fuck out.

I was like, I told, I mean, I went to the beach the first two days, the last, like, four days, and I was just hunting inside with my kids. I was like, do you want to play video games? We can do that all day long. Looking around, this is a pretty fair skin. Yeah, we are. I mean, I'm watching people on the beach who are putting on, like, oil, you know,

like, not even trying to stop the sun, they're trying to, like, enhance the sun. Yeah, yeah we feel you the fisherman spots another fisherman from afar we had i don't know if you know the comedian miss pat it's like one of my highlights of the show she came on one time and she sat down she looks at me and she goes what are you and i was like a man what do you mean and she's like, what are you? And I said, I'm white. And she goes, nah, honey, you pink. I was like, yeah, he got me there. All right, I'm pink. That is great, man.

I'm very happy to have you guys here. It's the new movie on Netflix. I watched it. It's awesome. And I've always wanted to sit down with people who write like a high school party movie because I want to know the, I guess, the research that goes into it. Like you, I don't want to give away spoilers, but there's one scene where you make a specific choice and the kids aren't snorting cocaine. They're snorting ketamine. Is that what high school kids are doing?

I don't know. You watched a couple of episodes of Euphoria and made some changes to it. We went to a lot of high school parties and just observed from outside. And we're just like, what do you think that's in there? What's going on? That's not cocaine. We did have a real conversation when we wrote that because we'd never done ketamine. And we're like, I feel like we've got to get some ketamine.

Write it off as a business meeting. I have since done ketamine. I'm happy to report. Did you like it? Did you do it or did you micro-dose it? I did it. You did it, okay. Like you were in a K-hole.

Oh, yeah. I wouldn't say the K-hole. I took it easy. I took my toe in the water. Oh, yeah. I wouldn't say the K-hole. I took it easy. I dipped my toe in the water. But, yeah, no, it wasn't for me. I knew kids in high school were doing ketamine. Like my friends were doing it. I was like, I'm still drinking like 40s of malt liquor thinking I was badass.

And they were like, do you want some ketamine? I was like, isn't that how horse track was? I did ketamine for the first time recently. And I did it in an inhaler form. Yeah. Very awesome. They made a pretty good stuff. I will say this.

Whoever does ketamine's PR, magic. Ketamine's having a moment. A moment. It used to be like meth, mescaline, and ketamine, speed. Stay away from that. And now it's like your doctor will prescribe you ketamine. Just get that shit on the internet. The movie was funded mostly by big ketamine i give you credit for trying it though because i feel like a phony having never

tried it and written and writing about it yeah yeah you are you're authentic you're the real you also wrote two dudes banging in the closet we did that was mine. That's why you're a duo. Those guys were great, though, because they came in and then we shot the scene and we could tell one of them was like, OK. And you have an intimacy coordinator on set for all this. We could tell he was uneasy, though. He wasn't saying anything.

And we're like, hey, man, are you OK? What's the problem? He was like, I just do whatever you want, but if you could not show my face, that'd be cool. I'm like, why did you take these jobs, man? But we did cut it in a way that we didn't expose his face. He made that request?

Yeah, it was just like... I feel like you get like cancelled over shit like that. That's fucking crazy. It was a reasonable request. It was weird to have it like after he's showing up for the job. It was pretty clear about what it would entail. Did you read the script? Did you know the character? You had no lines, by the way.

You're the gay guy in the club. That's crazy. I think he was maybe a little worried because we did a few takes. We were like, will you throw, like, devil horns to the camera on this one? And he would do that. And then we decided, like, all right, that's a little crazy. I guess when you're young, I don't know how old this person was, but I guess when you're young, you don't want that to be your thing.

He was not young. He's not young. You can't get a young kid to come in and do that. Let's make it very clear. Was not a young kid to be on the set. Which, by the way, it shows on screen. They're like, why are two 35-year-old men getting in there? I was like, damn, man, I could get the best week.

They don't really look like that in high school, I don't think. That's funny. I was like, damn, I go get the best week. They don't really look like that in high school, I don't think. But, okay. That's funny. I remember it was like when we were in early college, my buddy had gotten dumped and his girlfriend started dating a model. And we would always make fun of him. Like, ah, you know, she's picking a hotter model, whatever, blah, blah, blah. Not hotter model.

Hotter upgrade. Supportive friend. And then that kid got his big breakout role was a commercial where he was doing herpes medication and then i'll take the other guy never mind you now god bless i remember uh it was katherine blanford the comedian on our show her boyfriend broke up with her and then started dating jennifer lawrence and then like a minute later she fell up the stairs of the osars and became like America's darling. And she was like,

fuck. It's a tough one. J-Law is a tough one to beat. We were talking about high school parties. The weird thing that kids didn't mind was robo tripping. What's that? They would drink. Robo-tussin?

It was one kid in particular. He was a good baseball player, and he was like, he didn't want to start drinking and maybe mess up his future. Sure. I was like, dude, this is so much worse than having a fucking Bud Light or two. He would start every party. It was actually kind of cool where he was the kickoff of the party, and he would just stand up and chug a bottle of Robitussin.

And we'd be like, let's go! And he made it to the majors. This is Shohei Ohtani. And then Shohei Ohtani came over to America. We had a kid who drank Listerine. And we had an intervention

as seventh graders. We were like, John, you gotta stop doing this. He would drink a bottle of Listerine. Yeah, I remember Tylenol PM

going around like, don't go to sleep. Yeah, you gotta fight it, you gotta fight it, man. I'm in the corner. We had, I went to a school where we had like, it was a boarding school, so we had like infirmary on campus

and all this kind of stuff, and if you got caught drinking, they'd spit test you to figure out if you had alcohol or not. So we had all these weird things in our rooms that we thought would kind of beat the system. The spit bucket. If you told me that you had spit on deck to fake spit. Stop telling me that. Clean spit.

I need clean spit. He's got clean spit. The wizenator of spit. Dude, we had jars of peanut butter sitting on their desk in their dorm. I would think that would work. We would put a handful of peanut butter in our mouths. It never had to happen, so we don't really know if it works or not. But we'd have a handful.

And you were ready. Yeah. And a penny under your tongue. The penny. That was a thing. You'd get pulled over for drunk driving. A handful of pennies. Charcoal pills?

Charcoal pills. Charcoal pills. I was in a car once that i should not have been in with a person that should not have been driving and he showed me them and we all kind of took them he took it i think preventatively in case something happened we were all like fuck it let's all do it we pulled up to the diner for like late night food i'll never forget like five of us spill out of this car and we just have charcoal all over our lips and teeth like what's up guys and they were like what the fuck precautionary the cops won't know we've been drinking i recently was getting really into

charcoal as like a hangover cure and then one of my buddies is a doctor just started like forwarding me all this medical research saying like that does nothing it's actually probably worse for your hangover i was just like all right i I remember my buddy's sister is a nurse, and her telling us, like, just drink fucking water. It's just water. Water and time, man. She doesn't know what she's talking about. I feel like all of this shit that's going on right now,

I hope at least, is all fake science. I want, like, a doctor to come out and be like, ice baths don't do anything. Sunlight doesn't do anything. I definitely a doctor to come out and be like, ice baths don't do anything. Sunlight doesn't do anything. I definitely need sunlight to not do anything. All these things that these internet influencers are saying to do. We are living in a world.

There's no way the ice bath, I mean, it doesn't have to be that cold. It's also gotten to be like, all right, you pop in, you get your muscles cold, whatever. These people are like, I stay in it for 24 hours. Also, my friends who are into it, they're talking about like, all right, you know, you pop in, you get your muscles cold, whatever. These people are like, I stay in it for 24 hours. Well, also like my friends

who are into it, they're talking about like, I'm just running a peak like operation now and I'm just like, dude, you're doing fine. You're doing okay.

Right. You're not Elon Musk or something. That's what I don't get. If you are, yes. Well, I think it's like people see like the rock is into ice baths

and they're just like, well, that's what i need to do right look at yourself you're not the fucking rock yeah you know these guys are also on all sorts of other shit that you know it's like unless you are you know lebron james sleeps in like a cryogenic chamber and then he goes and he he he bees he does lebron james you don't need to do that to go to your your desk job no but i think people believe oh if i just need the chamber bro just get the chamber that's all placebo i remember once i went to like a um turkish maybe bath house go on and it was one of those ones where like you know you go to the schvitz room for however much time and you jump in the ice bath and then you go into this room

which is a little hotter and then you jump back in the ice bath. I will say this. The communal experience was fantastic. Everyone was so eager to help the new guy and stuff like that. John was like, don't show my face. Talk more about the communal experience at the bathhouse. They looked great. I'm just worried

I'd get in one of those Eastern Promises naked fist fights. I don't need that. They whip you with those. That was exactly the guy who like. I don't want to get whipped. I want to be naked and getting whipped with leaves from an Eastern European guy. It was exactly like that.

Like, it really, like, he had, this dude had, like, big angel wings tattoos on his back. And he's like, I'll show you around. I was like, all right. And then he's like, you want to lay here and I'll beat you with these leaves. And he's like, and then he's like, it puts the heat into your bones. And I was like, I'll show you around. I was like, all right. And then he's like, you want to lay here and I'll beat you with these leaves. And then he's like, it puts the heat into your bones. And I was like, okay, cool. And as he's standing there, I'm laying face down in this thing. And he's like, yeah.

You know, when I started doing this, I realized this is better than cocaine. So I got sober. And I was like, I don't think you're doing the right cocaine. This is definitively not as good as cocaine. Technician came up like, get out of here, you animal. Sorry, that guy keeps sneaking in here, beating the customers. Talking about the bones.

I don't know what he's doing. I got fired the next day. I think you're doing ketamine, brother. That's funny. About the movie, I feel like it's almost become... I think there was some truth to it, and then it kind of got a little bit exaggerated, and I don't know where we are

now. The idea of the comedy movies are dead. The big budget, big name, Will Ferrell type, the Judd Apatow type movies in the early 2000s, and then I almost think it became kind of like a cliche.

Everyone was saying that. And then it was like, no, there's this movie and that movie. I do think there's less of them, but did you guys ever... Do you feel that way? Did you write this with a purpose? Or was it just like, we're going to make a comedy? I think we wrote it with the purpose of we don't feel like there's a lot of comedies

being made, and certainly not as many comedies that are just like 95 mile an hour fastball down the middle. Because I do believe in that too, that we're missing something. It's definitely harder, but I think good will always find its way through, I think, you hope. Yeah.

But we did set out to write, because we wanted to write a script, it was pandemic, and we were talking about what ideas we had, and we just decided that's the dumbest one we have. That is just pure funny. Let's just do that. That sounds fun to write. It felt like a lot of movies were yelling at us at the time. Everything had a message or a lesson.

And we just, you know, you've come to the wrong place. You're trying to get that from us. Amen, bro. So we sought out to write something. What's the run time on this movie? It's like 88 minutes. I was going to say 90 minutes is what I would think of it. That's what funny movies should be.

Every movie, you know, even great movies that we liked in that era, like two hours, 15 minutes for a fucking comedy. It's like, I don't need that, man. At one point, we were worried it was going to come in at like 64. This is just an episode of television. It's like, do we have a car chase? Just for a little time. That's great.

Call Game of Thrones writers. They'll give you some filler. People are upset about that one last night. I didn't stick with House of Dragons. I watched Thrones, but... I didn't stick with Game of Thrones. No? Did you?

You jumped out? I never really watched. I feel like I would watch the pilot every now and then because everyone was watching it. And then by the time I felt like I needed to watch it, everyone was just like, it sucks. Well, even last night in this finale, the cheapest of pops, which I'm okay with,

but one of the guys has a vision and they showed the White Walkers and they showed Daenerys getting her three dragons and they're just like, we're going to throw a Game of Thrones pop in there, which is cool, but then I was like, oh, wait a minute. Yeah, this is all building towards a terrible ending. I'm fucking out now.

But so the comedy, like, I – Vince Vaughn just had a cool quote about that when he was on Hot Ones. I saw that. He said something along the lines of, like, it'll come back. Like, everything's cyclical. I feel like it's been a long time. It's been a while. Those movies are, like, 20 years old. Yeah, yeah but like like i watched the campaign last night that's like

yeah that's 2010s they i feel like they're one-offs where it used to be like you're getting this one and a sequel and a trilogy and you know every every uh summer there was one but it also makes it all the better when when you get a fun one and and you have that like coming of age i think so people look for star power there's all sorts of things that you like need to check the boxes up i mean credit to the the producers of this movie who were just like we like it we'll make it let's go um and that was outside the the big studio system so do you think star power is actually interesting because that was the next question i was going to ask like do you think there is someone right now who is kind of like of that ilk of like where you're like that can be a leading man in comedy i'm sure there is but like for this particular movie we really didn't want that

you know we didn't want you to recognize too many of the characters the the gal in the back of the car uh who has the accident she's a massive social media star okay got it love her forever such a gamer that scene was like yeah i was watching that with a friend and she was like it's like she was getting visibly yeah the opposite of the guy saying don't put my face in yeah yeah just be like can we get the peanut butter for Lauren? And just cover her in head to toe. Probably the least lucrative thing she's ever done. Great sport.

Yeah. I did love what you said, too, though, about where everything had a message, where I think that was for a while. And I don't know if I credit him, but I think Tim Robinson was kind of the first time where you're like, it's just dumb. It's just funny. It's just dumb like there isn't really just laugh a point to this it's just silly yeah i feel like stand-ups and and just like those kinds of comedians can they don't have to navigate the the system right like writers but they sometimes do like even the comics you think

are like these are like you know these are comics who come from like the clubs and the streets and it's just funny. And then even they're talking about their message and shit. Yeah, yeah. But yeah, to just be like, that's it. The movie just ends and there's no... And it just sort of ends.

Well, I think like, that was the cool thing about like working on Always Sunny is like we'd come to them sometimes. We'd be like, we can't do this. Ken, we and Rob would just be like, sure, we can. Why not? Well and Rob would just be like sure why not well he had a great quote too recently I can't remember what it was

but he quote tweeted somebody saying that the comedy's dead and he was like Seinfeld Seinfeld's the king of complaining about it so I love Rob taking shots at Seinfeld that's gotta be great for business but yeah you know I think his quote tweet was something along the lines of like,

we're doing season 17 over here. He said you can't make fun of homeless people or whatever. Or anybody. Or whatever you can create. He was like, can't you though? I remember. That was great. He was on our show probably three years ago or something like that.

And he was talking about, I think we asked him, how does Sonny still do whatever they want? And he had one of my favorite responses where he was talking about, I think we asked him, how does Sonny still do whatever they want? And he had one of my favorite responses where he was like, I think you know watching the show where our heart is. 100%. And yes, we make fun of, I feel like when people say things like, I make fun of everybody, there's always a specific, because they always say it in defense of something.

Yes. Well, I can tell you make fun of this group a lot more. Yeah. I couldn't tell. I don't know what group of people sunny makes fun of the most no there's definitely an unspoken agreement between those guys in the audience that like they're not the pieces of shit that they portray right but i also think it's a credit to them for like they're not you don't really see them i mean now as they've grown you see them outside of the show but even

when it was just them as the actors i don't know you just kind of knew that maybe because they linked up with danny devito or however they did it it was like you just know that these guys are just fucking around yeah and with other people sometimes you're not so sure it's like you're a comedian and you're going for a joke but i also think you believe some of that shit you're saying well every now and then you know we'd like go to a hockey game with rob and some drunk guy would stumble up and you'd be like, I don't think he gets the joke. He's not in on it. That has got to be, I mean, I don't think anybody ever expected it to be where it is.

I mean, years ago, because we started there season five and like around season nine ten like there was loose talk about like how do we want to wrap this up like how do we want to put a bow on it that's almost like halfway now it's just like go forever now I almost think the joke is to go forever well it gets funnier and funnier the older they get and they're still doing the same thing

that's what's wild we're going back for the new season for the first time in like eight years that starts what next week right not on TV Charlie posted on Instagram that the writer's room I'm going back for the new season for the first time in like eight years. That starts what, next week, right? Next week. Really? Not on TV. Charlie posted on Instagram that the writer's room starts next week. I did see that, yes. KFC Radio is sponsored by BetterHelp, which is perfect because right now your boy needs some therapy.

I know that we all should be out there doing it every day, every week, working on our minds, working on our brains, the same way we work on our bodies. But I'm not that sort of guy. I think a lot of you people out there are more similar to me where we kind of push everything down and suppress it and then eventually it all comes to a head and we can't take it anymore and we got to get it off our chest and talk to somebody and that's why we use BetterHelp. I use BetterHelp. You should too because it's as easy as that. When everything comes to a head, your professional life, your personal life, your financial life, your romantic life, when everything comes to a head and it's like, oh my God, I need to talk to someone right now, BetterHelp has you covered because it's all online and they can find you a doctor like that. Match up with someone in just 24, 48 hours and you can talk to them via

text, via phone, via FaceTime so you never have to waste any time and you can get it all out. If you don't like your doctor, you can switch to another one, no cost, and that way it makes it the simplest, best way to get therapy going as fast as possible. So go to BetterHelp.com slash KFC. That's B-E-T-T-E-R-H-E-L-P dot com slash KFC. Get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp.com slash kfc um it's funny you say season 10 because i i have a belief that and i don't think it's like unique to me but i think seasons two through four

are your seasons i love hearing that like love that no not not for sunny like for just like for tv in general because i think like season one shows like these guys got something let's give them some money let's give them some access to stuff and and they can go a little further and then they usually once you get to four you're kind of like you've used all the writers tricks and like you know this this couple has you know they will they won't they that's already happened and they broke up or whatever you're just kind of out of tricks after that but sunny i've been re-watching it recently and like season 10 is like like what was season 10 starts off with the whiz right is that see i think i think that's later you know what's crazy i think the biggest testament to always sunny is other

than just their their appearance and like the camera you can't really tell what season is what you know what i mean yeah when you're watching it live you kind of you prefer certain seasons but now you just they're all just one you you could be like oh that was season three or seven or yeah it was just fucking funny that's what it was fat mac kind of helps there are certain things that that's actually the yeah the uh like the compass of the show is raw fat is he skinny that's where you can check it is he absurdly jacked i also think there's something to me i i think this about sports stars, and there's something to be said for these guys as well. When you start your show on standard deaf, shitty camera television, and now you're watching it on 4K. I was watching LeBron highlights the other day, and you can't even see it's LeBron because the camera sucks so bad.

And now he's in these video games where he looks perfect. Same thing with Sonny. But you watch that first season, and you can tell it was know, you can tell it was filmed by, like, me. Yeah. I love the first two seasons. I don't think most fans do as much. Oh, really? That's crazy.

Or, like, most average fans I talk to, like, kind of get in after DeVito in two. Well, there are fans now that weren't born for that. Yeah, it's crazy. I remember where I was. Like, it's almost an embarrassingly important moment in my life. Like, I was at a high school party. Someone just chugged a bunch of Robitussin. And underage drinking and national concern was on. That might be my favorite Sonny episode.

It, like, caught my eye. And I was a little older than when it came out because it was on DVD. So I hadn't heard of it yet. And I was just watching. I was like, what is this? And I spent the entire party just sitting there changing the DVDs out

and watching that show and be like, you guys all calm down for a second and watch whatever the fuck this is. I was watching that show on an iPod Touch. Oh, wow. I was going from Fordham's campus school here in the

Bronx to the Upper West Side. They have a shuttle. I would watch it on that. Now I have two kids and do this. It's still on. Are they allowed to watch it? No. I

was playing a video game that was similar to GTA the other day. My son is seven. He was like, can I play? I was playing a video game that was similar to GTA the other day. Grand Theft Auto. And my son is seven. And he was like, can I play? And I was like, maybe. I was thinking about it. I was like, eh.

And then there was sex and N-words. And I was like, nah, I don't think so. Not great. A lot of pausing and explaining. What was the process like of jumping on in season five? How did that come about? I had worked for them on season, it coincided with, like, season four of Sunny.

They were doing another show called Boldly Going Nowhere, which was, like, Sunny in space. Oh, I didn't know that. That we wrote, like, six. The gang was. The gang was. It never came out, but it was really, really fun. Well, not the gang act. They were kind of acting.

They weren't really in it like David Hornsby, Cr it was really, really funny. Well, not the gang act. They were kind of acting. They weren't really in it like David Hornsby, Cricket was in it. I think Glenn did a bit part in the pilot. Can we get this going? I mean, it would work now. And the scripts were so funny, and they've been picked clean and repurposed for Sonny

now. I'm trying to think what we took from that. Like, Wine Out of a Can came from that show and then when it didn't go you're like that's just as funny for sunny that's amazing yeah so i worked with them for that and then i was rob's assistant uh he was my first boss out of college and then uh the next season they were cool enough to hook us up with the writing job really wow so it's good because you guys have obviously become very ingratiated with them because caitlin was in the mic yep and incoming we've written a couple i got the job through a sunny script and then we You guys have obviously become very ingratiated with them because Caitlin was in the Mick. Caitlin's in Incoming.

We've written a couple. I got the job through a Sonny script, and then we've written a couple more and kept showing them to him. And we're like, hey, we can do this, and we want to do this. And those guys were just great about shepherding us in. So if you've got to pick one, you're picking Rob. I love... I can't say that.

I love Rob. I almost got him. I almost got him. But I know you guys have Glenn in here. Yeah. He's the man. Charlie's the man. Caitlin is our muse.

We'll ride for her forever. We got to get Caitlin. We were supposed to have Caitlin in early on, and it never happened, and we just haven't had it. Oh, she's the coolest. You would love her. Have you guys, in working on other shows, and I guess you've already answered the question, how often do you bump into people who are not as down to ride?

I feel like, Sonny, you write whatever, they're like, I'll do it. Those guys are down for whatever. I feel like we did whatever we wanted on the Mick for the most part. Yeah, we've been lucky. I mean, no one rides harder than Caitlin and Danny DeVito, I would say. Danny, we talked to about the scene. It was like a prank where somebody wrote the very, very racist. No, we wrote that.

You wrote that? That was our first writing assignment for Sonny. We had written a script that year, and then at the end of the season, Rob came into our office. He's like, I've got this idea for an April fool's print for Danny. You guys just take some shitty spec script floating around and turn it into, but our jobs were not secure at that point. So we really wanted to do a good,

we put our all into this nothing script. That wasn't even real. It's very funny. That is the most important script you ever wrote. It was very funny. We talked about that. We were interviewing Danny DeVito for Dumbo. For Dumbo.

For some fucking reason, Dumbo wanted Barstool to promote. So Disney's in the room. And we're like, is there anything you ever said no to? And Danny's like, there was this rape script. Disney was like, oh my god, what's happening? Disney came up to us after and they were like, look, can you just cut how many? Because he said rape a million times. Can you just cut the whole rape conversation?

And then you can put it out in a couple of weeks and just pretend you got Danny back again. Because we're just trying to avoid the rape talk while promoting Dumbo. We didn't even know Danny at that point. Because he's not involved in the writers room or whatever. But I remember he shot us an email after that and was like, I know I'm always telling you guys to push the envelope. I just never realized the envelope was my asshole.

I think he said he Even that he's joking. He called his lawyer halfway through the script to just be like, I don't know about this. And his lawyer finally called him back and was like, you should finish the script. What a testament that he was even considering it yeah that to me is uh it's so well known and he's been on it for so long that i think it's almost taken for granted that he that he did the show you know because if it was like a one or two

season appearance it would go down in history as like, remember the time that this mega actor just dipped in with these cool guys for a minute? And now the fact that he's done it for so long,

it's almost like he deserves more credit, but I think he gets less because you're just like, yeah, that's Frank. He is incredible. I mean, incredible. He could have never done Sonny

and had a Hall of Fame career, you know? And now you just tack on 17 seats, or however many, minus the couple he wasn't in, of his career. It's also like, why are you doing that?

Yeah. Because it's awesome. It's awesome. It's like, if you could pick any show to be on, and it does, at least it feels like, it's not one of those shows where you're like, so what was it like behind the scenes? And you're like, oh, it was a fucking nightmare.

Like, the show was great, but this guy hated this guy and this guy didn't get along and the money and it seems like everyone's kind of like no i think it's fun we try to bring to everything we do is like those guys are having so much fun and like that shows up on screen like what a ball those guys are having that they're just fucking around everyone gets along everyone loves each other like and that shows up because you watch other shows and like you know like oh those people hate each other it reminds me of the uh um schmitty jason sudakis yeah when he's like well charlie you're not having fun doing it so don't have fun watching it how much of the um because i know there's been a whole episode based on it like an incredible episode gang tries to win an award but how much of the um because i know there's been a whole episode based on it an incredible episode

gang tries to win an award but how much of that like permeates or bothers production and writing like is there's definitely an air of it right like how the fuck have we never been nominated i think it's more confusion than anything else has there ever been any clarification like have you talked to anybody who's like well you know I honestly think it was just timing. When they first came out, other shows were always being up for best comedy and then once they were more established then stuff like Louie was showing

up and it's like, well, that's smarter, so we should give it to that. And then I think they've just been on so long now that people are like, yeah, whatever. Yeah. Same thing about Danny. You just take it for granted. But at some point there hasn't been one person in the room, the academy or whatever. If it bothers those guys, they don't tell. Yeah.

It's gotta though. Not to the point that you lose sleep over it. I think it bothered the writers more than those guys. Yeah, I could see that. I think they're pretty stoked with what they've got. Right, because they're good. But I do feel that for those people. I don't know.

Never rule them out. Those guys are capable of putting something amazing on television still to this day, every season. I would say that probably the last three incredibly emotional television scenes I've seen were all from – It's Charlie carrying his dad up the mountain. It's Rob coming out to his dad. And the other one's not Sonny, but it's Mythic Quest. The pandemic episode. It's so fun to watch those guys slip into that gear

because you forget that they're all really great, classically trained actors. It's like, oh yeah, I can go to shakespeare and i can also come over here and you know devito's my favorite like the end of like where mac comes out with the dance and like they just push in on devito's face and you're like oh i forgot this guy is one of the greatest actors ever to live just like slip into that gear for a second but even doing that dance or all the shit rob does putting on that weight, it's pretty inspiring to watch someone work that hard. That's what I say, too, though. It's not, it's like, they're doing the things now,

or have done the things that you usually get the credit for. If you lose weight for a role, you get a fucking Oscar. If you do something coming out, like, you're pulling on the heartstrings, they're doing it, they're doing it well. It's like, at that point, I could understand maybe some of the early stuff, but it's like we've done that way it was the craziest he also talked about like you know if i did this for a drama like everyone would talk about it

right yeah yeah that's what's the bullshit like and then and then you know i i just have such a problem with some of the things that get qualified as a comedy in in well it's in a weird place it's it's very weird. Comedy or musical? What the fuck is that even? We just watched this show called Such Brave Girls, if you haven't checked it out. It really reminded me of Sunny. It's on Hulu.

Really? That's high praise. It's incredible. It's English girls. It's the most purely funny show I've seen since like Sunny or Broad City. Such Brave Girls.

No shit. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. It like took me, took my breath away how funny it was. Hell yeah.

All right. Let's have them do it. I think they're doing a second season. Okay. And you think that they'll get the recognition you're saying? No, no. Of course not. No, they'll get fucked too. Yeah, but it's very hard funny.

I remember we talked to Alan Sepinwall 100 years ago. He's at Rolling Stone now, but I forget where he was at the time. And he said that the Academy doesn't like admitting they were wrong. So if they weren't in on you in an early season, they're never going to get it. And I feel like they just wait for you to go away. But these motherfuckers are not going away. Well, they did it great at the past Emmys when they came out. And it was like, Danny's like, no, I want two.

I think they've gotten two stunt nominations for Sunday, which is hilarious for a show that doesn't do stunts. It's like the only Emmy nominations we have. At this point, I want them to win that. I want some bullshit Emmy and none of the greatness. Well, it was always like I feel like the writer's room would lose their minds when Emmy nominations got announced because we'd be like, Caitlin, nothing for Caitlin. She's the only one. That's a less competitive category.

That would really upset us. So when you guys went from Sonny to... Was it Sonny then The Mick? Yeah. Is that just looking for something more? What's the impetus to move on? Between those, we did a pilot with the Sonny guys starring Bill Burr that did not get picked up.

What the fuck is going on? It was called Pariah and Bill was playing like a sportscaster who like... It's very topical this week. He's like a sports center anchor who made some uncouth comments about a trans

boxer. Oh, really? In 2012. Starring Bill Burr and Regina King and since that did not about a trans boxer. Oh, really? Legitimately a trans boxer. Starring Bill Burr and Regina King. And since that did not get picked up, Bill has become the biggest comedian on the planet. Regina has won every acting award imaginable. So when that happens, I'll let you finish that in a second,

but when that happens, do you go back to whoever said no or shoot an email or a phone call just like, hey, dickheads? No. I don't think so dickheads no I don't think so it's hard it's just so competitive who knows what they had on the schedule that year we don't think we beat ourselves up

because Burr was our comedy hero at the time there's part of us that feels like we probably let him down didn't get it done we learned so much and I think we went into the mic uh the one mistake i think we made doing that show is like we really tried hard to collaborate with everybody and like allow a bunch of cooks into the kitchen uh and at the end of it no one like patted us on the back and was like you guys played ball though you know it's just like these guys didn't get it done so if there's yeah there's one thing i've learned you never it's like i'll do this because

it's the right thing to do and somebody will like recognize it later down the road they do not and that's not to say you got to be an asshole but like at the end of the day we went into the mic like we're gonna we're gonna make the show that we want to make yeah uh and then getting caitlin on board we kind of knew we had a pretty good shot yeah she's the best she's incredible um so the churning name obviously very uh intertwined in the barstool were you were you guys involved in any of that or is that no dad and and and you know a whole separate arm of churning? We have no involvement in that whatsoever. I don't know who the fuck you two are. We're fans of Barstool.

It was just that they went on on such a crazy limb that, like, I mean, it forever changed everybody's life here. It's not often we talk about that shit with him. Like, you know, we stay out of his business. He stays out of ours. But I remember thinking that was cool. We were fans of Barstool. We had friends that loved Barstool. So it was like, no, we love our dad. Daddy, I love you. Yeah, no, it was just cool. It was different

than some of his other investments that we don't care about. I still don't know how we convinced him. Mike Curran's convinced him. Yeah, he asked us at one point. He's like, do you guys like Barstool? And we're like, yeah, we love Barstool.

And he was just like, thinking of getting a piece of that. And we're like, the fuck are you talking about? By a piece of it, I mean like the whole fucking thing. He got a deal. Holy moly.

I'm pretty sure like the ink was dry and they were like, they turned to Dave and they're like, you're never negotiating again. We would have paid 10 times what we just paid. We referred to your dad exclusively as the big swinging dick at the Cracker Factory for five straight years. I don't think I ever said the name. He refers to himself as that.

That's all he says. Did he have a lot of TV knowledge to help you guys? I remember I asked because I remember right when he bought us, he came in and kind of had one meeting with us. And I believe it was Dan Big Cat who asked the question, but it was something along the lines of, like, we're cool, but we want to be popular and cool kind of deal. Like, how do you get from that level to the next level? By the way, in hindsight, that was a very funny moment.

Like, it just happened one time. Your dad did kind of like a town hall with us because I think he just felt like he probably had to. I just bought all these people like, do you want to ask me some questions? And we were like, how do we get bigger? And he was just like, I got to go get on my private jet. But he was like, it was about,

we were using, or Dan was using Arrested as an example. And he's like, it never kind of got to that other level, but it's still such a cult following. And he's just like, well, I put it on air and I took it off, so I'm the right person to ask. And I was like, damn, okay, that's a pretty cool statement. But does he have any, like, does he, you said it's your world and his world. I think he's really first of all he has killer taste and so like i like his opinion just uh not even as someone who's like been in the business but just like i i trust his taste a lot i think he watches cool stuff i think he knows

what's going on he has really good business advice from like 30 000 feet i would say yeah but then there are also times where he'll be like okay you got to call this person and you're just like i'm not calling the head of the studio like they're gonna get out of my room well it seems to be going uh pretty damn good man so i mean these these other projects that didn't make it i feel like let's let's circle back as they say yeah let's go is that something that like that happens like once you get more success a world like like arrested development coming back on netflix i thought was like a moment where it was like oh people are listening now like if you and like you know family guy friday night lights those

things that got re-picked up but that was something that was already on the air is there ever like a unfortunately i think these are dead but even like you know the but that was something that was already on the air. Is there ever like a... Unfortunately, I think these are dead, but even like the Mick was something that we pitched around town for a little bit, and then it didn't work out, and we revisited it five years later. This movie was something that we had kind of had in our back pocket

for like 20 years, 15 years. Really? Yeah. So what makes you decide to finally do it? Oh, you said Pandemic was part of it? Pandemic, and then I think we just like in trying to age in out of yeah we were just i remember we sat there for like the first two weeks just like paralyzed like what the fuck are kids doing these days once we took like cell phones out of the equation because we were kicking ourselves over like how do phones work into your everyday life as a teenager and then we just decided like let's just write it as if we were in high school and then we'll go put the

phones in later yeah if you're I mean if you're gonna focus on that it would just be the total forget it the bench was great he was awesome Benj was really really great yeah that kid's a little movie star he's got that twinkle the uh I loved his uh nevermind

I don't want to say it cause you gotta go watch the movie yeah you gotta watch October August 23rd August 23rd on Netflix

yep but yeah it was it was really really great cool thank you guys I appreciate that and uh I mean

good luck how did you get actually one more the talking about like actors being like I don't know I don't know

Bobby Cannavale how on fire did he get he lit his arm on fire did he yeah Bobby's the man dude that was such a fucking

we lit ourselves on fire first to show him it was cool did you yeah I think but the guy who actually came in and did Bobby's the man. Dude, that was such a fucking... We lit ourselves on fire first to show him it was cool. Did you? Yes. Really? But the guy who actually came in and did the human torch thing, he was the coolest motherfucker that has ever walked the earth.

Every show he's seen. Really? Oh, my God. Yeah. And afterwards, he lived... It's a shame to be a burned up freak any day now. He lit himself on fire. He did it three times, like head head to toe fully engulfed and afterwards

like we came up to him we were like dude thank you so much and he like looked into my soul and was like thank you yeah like i just lit you on fire there's a guy sitting at home going like i would love to set myself on fire i just don't have the place to do it yeah do it if you take one thing away from this interview you can all do do it. All set yourselves on fire. You'll be fine. Well, during that scene, I was remembering. I've never done a flaming shot. Never been handed one. Never been around one.

And I was remembering back in the day, like, internet, when they would go very viral. When someone would do it. It would pour down their throat. It would set their face on fire. It was a nightmare. But also, I the the teacher who comes very relatable because we i remember my i had the senior party after graduation at my house like nice i had the big party and i remember being there it's probably like midnight at this point

and i was like is that fucking i think everybody had that mr o'connor i didn't invite him it's a very relatable character in everyone's life. Everybody knows that guy. I went to my, I guess his 20th high school reunion this past year, and we saw him, and I was like, how's it going? It was not going well. It was going about as well as you thought, the guy who was coming to the party 20 years ago.

No, Bobby was the man. To come in and do that, again, not a glamorous role for him. He's just sitting in a jacuzzi, fully clothed, getting lit and fired. He was a great sport. That's awesome. He was the coolest dude. Yeah, and I think in between doing movies for Scorsese and someone else, we were just like, what are you doing?

He'd give us a lot of shit, like, that's not how Marty does it. Yeah, well, we don't know what we're doing, Bobby, so. No fucking kidding. If I knew how to do it like Marty, I wouldn't be here. We have a kid here, Glennie Balls. I love Glennie Balls. Bobby Cannavale is the hottest guy alive.

He's the most handsome person on the planet. He's very handsome. Very charismatic. You might be a little too Italian. One more question I have for you. Like I said, I've been re-watching sunny and i'm really putting you on the spot here because there's 10 million different answers but like do you have one joke or one scene that is so shockingly funny that sticks out to you and i'll tell you what the

reason i ask it is i referenced the whiz earlier but when at the very end of that scene when when charlie's singing and he's like i'll talk to the cops they gave me this car and he gets lit up and i remember watching that live covering my mouth and going oh my god oh my god but laughing through that well you know what's funny is we i think we left sunny in the middle of writing that episode and so like we we had helped break it at that point. It wasn't a musical yet. It wasn't a musical. We were still talking about that. And so we didn't see that for the first time until the premiere party.

And I remember, same thing, I was just like, no fucking way. You guys just lit up a kid. It was weird. I remember one day being in the writer's room and uh rob and glenn walked in with just like ear to ear grins oh no we just wrote something awesome and it was the implication speech yeah it was robin charlie robin charlie yeah that's so good because i think that was the first script that got written that season and yeah i just remember those guys like coming down the hall and just like and i had read it at that point and i was like charlie that is the funniest

thing i've ever read and he was like he knew it was funny but also was like oh yeah yeah like we got in a good rhythm like it turned out okay yeah the how many things i said i know i said one more question but this is the last one i promise. The I was thinking about this actually the other day in relation to Larry David, but I think it applies to Sonny as well. We're like, how many things were things before they became things? And I will explain. I promise the like, like Larry David, like I'm sure he dated someone with man hands.

Yes. And then it became something in the show. And then it became something that is globally recognized now. Like you kind of reference like drinking out of cans that one you said that's not a real life thing but like i know from listening to the podcast um serial defense was just something that was real that was a glen thing yeah uh i think it's little things like you know you know in like the beginning of the high school reunion episode where they just start smashing their bottles on the ground. We were just like, I remember us going through a phase at that point in our lives where we would like walk out of like, we would sneak a beer bottle out of a bar just to smash it on the sidewalk for no reason.

It's a great entrance. Yeah. Out of a cab and smashing it and walking in. But I do remember like when that was happening we went to some party in new york and like as we got out of our taxi cab i smashed a beer bottle on the street and the bouncer was just like there's no fucking way you're coming in here and i like that's fair yeah well i started getting into it with him he was like no man maybe like you'll learn a lesson like and i was just like what the fuck are you giving me lessons for like i thought it was

definitely stuff that just stems from you shooting the shit in the room yeah i'll say something that'll be coming up how old how old are you guys 39 41 so yeah i mean you were pretty young when yeah i was like 23 i think when i started yeah i mean if you're young enough to be dumb enough to be smashing bottles for fun. I was a very immature young man. We've aged out of the bottles. It was very fun, though. God damn it. That's crazy. Well, good on you guys.

That's awesome. Thank you. Yeah. All right. So incoming is August 23rd. Netflix. Very funny. Exactly the type of thing that people are asking for you guys delivered.

So good shit, man. Awesome. Thank you guys. Thanks for people are asking for you guys delivered. So good shit, man. Awesome. Thank you guys. Thanks for having us. We're big fans. Thank you so much. Thanks for having us. Yeah. សូវាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប� Thank you.