KFC Radio - The Death of Kobe Bryant, The 24 Hour Flu, and Kirk Minihane Returns

Episode Date: January 28, 2020

KFC and Feits discuss the shocking and sudden death of Kobe Bryant, his legacy, and the public reaction. Feits tells a story about how he persevered through a 24 hour flu and lost a few pairs of boxers along the way. We invite Kirk back on the show to discuss his criticism of our interview with Shane Gillis.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. It's another edition of KFC Radio brought to you by Screwball Whiskey. We are live right now on a rooftop of our Miami hotel for Super Bowl week, a.k.a. Kobe Bryant week. It's a weird one here at Barstool Sports, but I always can rely on Screwball Whiskey to get a tasty cocktail in my belly. Screwball Whiskey has been a revelation of sorts. Use a screwball right now. Yeah, I was going to say I could use some whiskey.

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So, we are now 24, like 36 hours into Kobe Bryant mess. Not even, I don't even know. Yeah, it's closer to 24. Okay, 24. And it's a weird one now. We've done, you know, a couple podcasts. We've done a day of radio. And obviously it's front of everyone's mind. But I don't, you know, I don't want to be repetitive.

And I don't want to be gratuitous or over the top with it. So I was trying to come up with a new angle to discuss it, and there are two things I wanted to discuss. First of all, the line of too soon. Is it you who believes there's no such thing as too soon? Somebody in my life believes there's no such thing as too soon. It's an interesting philosophy. I guess I don't – I wouldn't say I don't believe in it I think things are too soon sometimes so I guess I do believe

in it well I mean yeah like right now if I'm just like cracking off color Kobe jokes but no but if it's funny I'm gonna laugh so I wouldn't say I won't say things but it's not like it's also not like I respect that it's like if I thought it I would say it's just not how my brain works right I don't have the kind of brain that would make a joke that you would call too soon

i want to say it was maybe someone like bill burr it was like a comedian maybe we had like like high stature who kind of said what you just said if it's funny enough and makes people laugh then you can make that joke you know one minute after tragedy but it's got to be extra fucking funny it's got to be a grand slam. Well, the reason I say that... Like, Jeselnik, who's obviously the king of that kind of stuff, had a quote tweet yesterday where it was like, someone tweeted that the Late Late Show with James Corden will now be syndicated on Comedy Central. And he just quote tweeted and said, like, boy, I thought this day was bad already, or

something like that. And it's like, you know, it's not really a joke about Kobe. It's a joke about James Corden. Well, and that's the way to do it, too. That's almost like that Dina Hashem joke that went viral with XXXTentacion. It was like, you know, it's about him, but it's like tangential. And that's kind of the way you should attack it. I just tweeted a picture right now as we speak of Ron Artest.

Metta World Peace tweeted his tribute to Kobe. I thought it was a very funny thing. It said something like, gone too soon or something like that. Very just generic caption. But the picture was him. If you're watching on Barstool Gold, we're right on top of the balcony. Go to BarstoolGold.com slash KFC. Ron Artest is laying in bed, like, flat, but his head is up.

Imagine if you're trying to look at your dick, basically. Yeah. Your chin's up. And he was wearing a Laker jersey that said 24, and it was signed. It said Two Diamonds. You know what that means? Is that like a nickname? I don't know.

Anyway, it's signed, and that was Ron Artest's tribute. But it was just a very funny Ron Artest thing to do because it's an awkward picture. It wasn't like a... Who takes a plane like this? So I did the classic what you see versus what she sees meme with the girl blowing you and the blonde girl. You're

looking down at her face and she's looking up at yours. That has nothing to do with Kobe Ryan. And the immediate reaction of delete this, this ain't it chief how how quickly do you think he deletes this at stool presidenta you should fire him like what like i'm getting ratioed like real fast let me see what it's at right now i mean i was like i did not even think twice uh it's something crazy but 15 retweets 335 likes 73 comments and people are uh you know what when swinging a miss

there's just no way you're gonna keep this up why would you post this show some respect he was mourning in this uh i mean just you know and then to be fair the the top two replies are you're gonna get shit on this but this is hilarious i laughed so there are some people with a sense of humor um but you know i mean no i i mean it is it's i guess it was a little risky but i i just um i didn't think so at all it's it's it's one of those things it's i people if i i think that bar when people say not like not the old barstool not my barstool stuff like that i think stoolies have not the old barstool, not my barstool, stuff like that, I think stoolies have changed more than barstools ever changed. I absolutely agree.

The fan base is way more sensitive than it ever was. Ever. I think it's fan consumption, at least social media-wise. And I think that's why it's like our podcast, we can always say what the fuck we want. No, like, our fans are our fans. And they're like, they think like us. And I don't think we've changed. No, I mean, that's not accurate.

We've changed. I don't think it's better or worse. There's been change. If there hadn't been change, it would be a problem. There's been change 10 years in our sense of humor, what we think of the way we look at the world, all that kind of stuff. And I think, but I think the larger sensitive stuff has come from stoolies. Stoolies? Not stoolers, which I guess we would be.

That's where it's like, oh, that's the old... Fans are applying, this is too soon, or whatever the fuck they're saying. That's hashtag not my bar stool. I never heard that once in the mid-2010s. I mean, that was... It's disappointing. Because it's like, you guys are supposed to have our back when someone else is doing that to us you're doing it to us yeah it's like infighting i uh there was the uh it's the

social media with kobe has been very weird it's been an interesting experience as is and and it's not even just kobe himself it's it's again it's just social media how it works now we're like this when we got off the plane the first thing jared said to me was did you say anything and it was almost like like we had just we weren't getting off the plane it was like we were walking out of the reception line right of like the bryant family like returning to civilization like i say anything not i didn't say anything right right i'm not a basketball guy. I liked Kobe Bryant. I'm sad he's dead.

Of course, it's a tragedy. That almost sounds like I'm saying it like, and look, I get it. No, I'm genuinely sad he's dead. I genuinely liked Kobe Bryant. He was probably my favorite basketball player. I also just think that there were better people, there were more qualified people to honor him. In fact, my lack of honoring him honored his dedication because I did not think I put in the work.

To even comment on this guy. To comment on him. I didn't watch the game tapes. I wasn't the one fighting with other people. You wasn't with me shooting in the gym. And I was like, ah, that sucks. But that's how social media has become now, where it's weird to privately be like, wow, that's sad.

I don't fucking hate the people who are like omg i think it's strange he's unnecessary so much that that was that was bizarre it was non-stop it just like i don't even i never saw the tmz article retweeted it was just quote to omg and and uh i can't believe this is real right tell me this is Tell me this is a lie. And I'm mad at those people because you've made me feel guilty for silently being like, wow, that's a loss. And you've made me feel like I need to raise my hand and say that I also feel sad about this tragedy. Me too, me too, me too. It should be assumed that I'm sad someone's died. But last night I was up at like 2 a.m. and I was in my own head being like, fuck, do people think it was a statement from me? To not say I'm sorry?

I know, I know. That's fucking so weird. It's a sad state of affairs, man. It's so weird. It's one of the biggest deaths ever, if not the biggest in my mind, combined with, I mean, every single day is the biggest day in social media history. Like every day it gets, there's more users, there's more followers, there's new platforms. There's always bigger and more, you know, attention. So it's, from here on out, anytime there's a tragedy,

it will be a new experiment as to how society handles it because social media will be that much more different. And I think right now, you know, we haven't experienced anything on this level since, you know think some people throw out michael jackson's death as being like the biggest death most recently i remember that i lived in college with a kid who was a huge michael jackson fan he was like legitimately distraught yeah like i never quite a mirror just played emanated throughout my apartment really like weeks i mean that's just a weird one because he was i mean i guess in a lot of ways it was comparable

because michael jackson had his you know, infamy as well. Right. But, you know, we have not seen anything this level with this amount of social media in our lives yet. So it is definitely an interesting experiment. Ultra funny or ultra ironic or whatever, knowing that Kobe was like the type of guy who wouldn't want all this attention, who wouldn't want games canceled, who wouldn't want the drama. Although he did like the spotlight, so maybe he's up there going,

yeah, that's right. Retire 24. That's right, bitches. But I mean, to me, the word I would use, I'm not like, I mean, I'm sad. I don't know him,

but I am stunned. Like every, every, once an hour, I have had this, just this thought of like, I cannot believe Kobe Bryant is dead. Like, what the fuck?

Like, it's not a— Unprompted? Yeah, it just pops into my head. Just like, I'm not kind of like, oh, wow, I'll never see him play again because he had already retired. And I was not an L.A. guy. So I'm not a like, you know, it's not like it's connected to me directly. Although I really was when I was growing up. Iverson, Kobe, Garnett, Wolves, Garnett were like my guys. I had all their jerseys.

I had, you know, like when I made a screen name or anything, I always used their numbers, 21, 8, and 3. Like they were my dudes. But other than that, it's nothing truly connected to me. But I do keep having this feeling that it's just like, what? Like, what? He died in a helicopter crash? So it is an interesting display and whatever from the social media point of view. a great experiment or whatever you what have you with um you know what your legacy can be if you have had you know some some some negative something negative in your past and you know how can you

overcome it kind of there was some backlash there was some off-color jokes and there was some people who just were bringing up facts not even even necessarily like slander, but just being like, hey, remember this happened too. But I would say it's 99 to 1. It's 99%. More than that. You know? Yeah. Which is, you know, if we would have played this out hypothetically,

like, you know, before he died, what will Kobe Bryant's legacy be? I think I would have said, but, you know, there's going to be this, like, level of tarnish, and there really isn't. No, I agree with that. I'm surprised by the lack of it. Even people trying to get attention or whatever, which I don't think just bringing it up as trying to get attention. I think it's a fair thing to bring up.

Obviously, we're talking about Eagle Colorado. I don't think it's unwarranted. I think it's a significant part of his life. You know what's funny that you just said that, by the way? Even that, like, you know, describing it as that rather than being like the rape case. Right. Whether that was subliminal or subconscious or whatever, like, people are, like, softening it for one reason or another. Right.

Rather than being like the Kobe Bryant rape case. It's like Eagle Colorado or, like, his incident or his past or, you know. He had a complicated past. Yep. And we're all kind of. He had a complicated past. Right. Yep. Yeah, he was accused of rape. I did it myself.

He was the poster child. It was like Me Too before Me Too. Right. But like, and also like Me Too isn't really rape. You know, like. Right. It's like power. Well, I mean, some examples are rape.

Some examples, yes. But I think largely the Me Too movement is like. Exploiting power dynamics. Or just like inappropriate office interactions. Yeah. Well, I mean, some examples are rape. Some examples, yes. But I think largely the Me Too movement is like... Exploiting power dynamics. Or just like inappropriate office interactions. Yeah, yeah, yeah, right. This is just an outright rape. Right.

All alone, like sexual assault. All alone, like sexual assault, yeah. And it's like... But it was like the first like rape culture... Superstar, I guess. Yeah, probably. At least in my life. There's probably stuff before me, but I don't even remember. Mike Tyson had stuff.

There's always been examples of powerful, rich, famous men and girls. And it's always been a dicey one where there are people who make up allegations. And to me, the difference was that statement that Kobe made back in 2003 saying, I firmly believe it was consensual, but I know now that she does not view it that way. I mean, that's like an admission of something. You know what I mean? Yeah. That's not a, these are false accusations.

This occurred, and we view that differently. You know, that's confessing almost in my mind. You know what I mean? It's certainly confessing to something, you know? And so it's about as, without having a it's a you know it's about as without having a full trial i also don't think that's an insane thing though i think no i think you and i and i don't even mean just i just mean remembering a night you can just ask you ask two different people like they will tell you completely different stories especially with sex and they're not even lying neither they're lying that's exactly

what happened in their head yep and and it know, it does get weird with fame. And it's like people put themselves in positions and take, like, some of it was, she said, you know, like the kissing was consensual. And then it stopped. So there is, like, it's just a weird situation. And that's why you have to be, like, extremely careful for anybody in these positions. But overall, the fact that it did go as far as it went and there are both parties admitting the fact that it's not playing into his legacy at all, really. No. That's pretty...

Especially in this climate. Like, you know, I'm stunned that the Me Too writers and whatnot aren't like remember you know I think that's a testament to we were talking earlier about how we've changed nothing monumental just really ages past I would say if you haven't changed in 10 years

you're a fucking loser but like how his life changed and what he became and you know whether or not it was spurred on by that incident or not but it was like you know kobe became a humongous advocate for women for women's sports for his children for his wife all that stuff and like maybe that was it but i think like a testament to his greatness is his ability to reinvent himself and be like okay i'm a different thing and you know what maybe

his game and in his life maybe it's not the purest of intentions either. You know, it's like a lot of times people get caught and then they donate to charity and shit and it's a PR move, but you know, there's like a philosophical thought about... But this is also so far away that maybe it might just be what he genuinely wanted to do. Right. You can't, there is, you know, part of, everyone should have like the healthy cynic being like,

why is he doing that? But there's also like, maybe he just, he did it with with with the ref when he called the ref a fucking fag yeah and he was then he like went to glad and like learned and i think then he became like an advocate for homophobic or anti-homophobic speech all that stuff it's like maybe it's it's but that's so much easier to admit to if you were just like yeah man like i said fag a lot and that was wrong and I will own that one. You're willing to own it because it's not going to cancel your career.

You can't own being a rapist. That's one that is a whole level. But you're right. But I remember one of the few things I remember in college. I remember taking a philosophy class. Philosophy always stuck with me. I enjoyed that, talking about the different philosophers and Descartes and Hume and all those guys. And there was some dude, I don't remember which one, but the idea was like, what's more important?

The meaning, the reason why you do things, or the end results? And it's like, if I'm a scumbag in my heart, and I hate gay people and I hate this, that, and the other thing, but I donate all my money to them and I work to help them and it's all bad intentions or selfish intentions. But the end result is that community is better off. Is that better or worse than if I feel it in my heart but I don't do anything? Where do you fall? I feel like who my heart, but I don't do anything. Where do you fall? I feel like who cares what your intentions are

if you're giving up your money or your time and you're helping them. If it's a PR stunt, who cares? Yeah, your money. Versus someone who could be like, I love them, but I'm not going around my way to help anybody. Love doesn't buy lobbyists. Love doesn't get results. It Love doesn't buy and get results. It's very nice of you.

Congratulations. Love doesn't tell me how much money worth you love me. Right. I want to know. I want to be on the Price is Right and be like, bet way know, donated all their money and then dedicated their life to that afterwards. And you knew that it was just like, I got to do this because the public is on my back. Yeah, who gives a shit? Would you? Yeah.

I mean, I would probably say like, hey, listen, these are not pure intentions, but also actions speak louder than words or actions speak louder than feelings. I always find that so weird with charities do that and political campaigns do that where it's like we're giving this person's money back because they're – Yeah, right. Well, bitch, I'm taking their fucking money. I'm even doing it. This awful person doesn't have as much money. Right. This is a good thing.

What is wrong with what I'm doing? They should be like, all right, you donated a million dollars and we're gonna take nine hundred and fifty thousand of it and give it to like the family and stuff and then fifty thousand dollars we're gonna make like an embarrassing statue of you being like a piece of shit we're gonna put that on display like fine do that but you know at the end of the day actions the end justify the means or whatever you want to give a bad person more money right like just like no i'm keeping your money but i also can understand from a personal point of view,

I could get petty and be like, I don't want your fucking money, you know? I don't, I think I'd always take whoever's money. Think so? You just gave me money, I think I'm gonna take it.

Like, joke's on you, man. Like, I don't fucking care. It's not like when I go and spend this $10 at a restaurant, they're gonna be like, oh my God. But I feel like you're

a man of principle. Is this so-and-so's money? Who do you hate, like, the most? I don't know. I don't have, like, problems on a deep level. Probably nobody, really, right? No. Kirk Minahan.

I don't hate Kirk. Kirk Minahan will be on the show later today. We'll actually do all the back half of it. We'll talk to Kirk. Kirk and his minions decided to trash me more so than John in this round, calling me stuttering John or stuttering idiot or something like that, talking about my interview, our interview with Shane Gillis and the way I asked him a question.

So we had Kirk on the show, and he did his whole hypocritical backtracking thing as per usual. But as always with Kirk, when we get over the bullshit and then we just start talking, it's great. He's very good at what he does, and the conversation is interesting. So if you want to hear the KFC Radio, Minifan, Beef, that's at the end of today's episode. But, yeah, it's all just very – it's sad on a personal level. I mean, as a dad – I'm such a pussy now that I'm a dad.

It's crazy. I mean, everything I relate to my own kids and my own life, and I get so sad over it. If I just think about it hard enough, if I just think about sad stuff enough, I could start crying. That's one of those things, as a dad, that people get mad at. It gets mocked a lot, like, as a father, as a mother, as a whatever. But it's just different. It is.

And you do change. I say I'm sorry, and I'm sorry, and it sucks, but I don't feel it. I don't feel anything, really. And it's not like I, you know, directly, but it's just like I have that extra thing to relate to that, you know, non-parents don't. Relatability is fucking king. Right. If I can't relate to it, then I don't feel for it.

Right. And if I don't feel for it, then it doesn't... I don't really care. Mm-hmm. I agree. That's part of, with the whole, like, not my barstool or barstools change. So, you know, I've been trying to I've had this little blog renaissance and I'm trying to write again. And that was I did that for multiple reasons, one being that, like, I feel like writing is my best talent and I wanted to get back into that.

And another part of it, though, was that a lot of the fans that I kind of lost over my personal shit the past couple of years liked me on the blog. And, you know, in an effort to kind of regain them or get them back in my life, I started blogging. And so while I don't usually like to put any stock in feedback, good or bad, when I do know it's going to be good, I like to try to soak it in. You know, it's like I do know it's going to be good, I like to try to soak it in. You know, it's like the rare times I'm going to get a lot of tweets or Reddit comments or comments on the blog that are positive. Let me go take a peek just for my self-esteem, you know? And the vibe that I've seen from so many people is like that I've changed, that I realized what

I was doing the past couple of years and came back and changed myself. And it's like, I haven't changed anything. You guys have just kind of come back around on me. Like, I did an episode of Podfathers the other day, and I said shit that I've been saying ever since I got a divorce. And now it's well-received. What did you say? I was just kind of like, what did I say? I was talking about like that.

It was coming on the heels of that five days alone with the kids and how I was talking about like that. It was coming on the heels of that five days alone with the kids and how I was complaining about that. And I guess what they were resonating was I was saying how hard divorce life is and how, to be honest, like if I could do it all over again, maybe I would have just figured out a way to stay together because it's just from a sheer difficulty level. I really don't remember what I was saying. It was not all that profound. And I certainly wasn't like, you know, I used to think this way and now I think this way. It's like it's just that I'm writing blogs again, guys. Like it really is such a weird like the people who are seeming to like me again the past couple years that I can't believe KFC is still taking these voicemails and still talking about sex. So, you know, I used to get credit too much shit for staying the course. But now all of a sudden you think I totally changed.

So it's all just, you know, how people perceive things. And the Barstool fans, they're the ones that have kind of really been changing recently. And I guess you could expand that to the world like the kobe reaction i think is different than it would have been a couple years ago and certainly like five ten years ago right it's a it'll definitely be one of the most interesting uh case you know stories ever and it's wild that it's all just occurring to us here you know like so much is crazy right now from being renting out a whole hotel and fancy miami another super bowl uh and the kobe story taking it all over we are here and we're doing it

but it was it was touch and go for a while there john the fact that we maybe kfc radio would maybe not even be here at all if it wasn't for John. Let's call it persevering, to be perfectly honest. Overcoming the odds. John sitting next to me today is a testament to his, your just ability to live. Like life finds a way. You will always, I do. And this is, John's fortitude is brought to you by SimpliSafe.

You know, tragedy can strike at any time and you got to protect your family. And, you know, what we learned from Kobe this week is that family is everything. And so you got to make sure your wife and kids, your husband and kids and your belongings and all of that is safe. And SimpliSafe is that they will protect your home better than any home security system, safer and easier and more affordable than anybody on the market. SimpliSafe, there is no hoops to jump through. There's no hidden fees and costs. There's no long-term contracts that lock you in forever. There's no technological coding problems. It's

a simple technology. It's simple hardware. It's an affordable monthly fee and there's no gotcha. You can go to simplysafe.com right now. S-I-M-P-L-I safe.com slash KFC radio and you'll get your free shipping and a 60-day risk-free trial with your security kit. You got nothing to lose and everything to gain keeping yourself and your belongings safe. Go now to simplisafe.com slash KFC Radio so they know that we were the ones who sent you. We get the credit for it, and you keep your family safe. simplisafe.com slash KFC Radio. John, you're a hero.

I don't know about a hero, but... You are an inspiration to me, at least. It's... I mean... Dare I use the word M? The M word? Miracle. It's a miracle that John Henry is here.

It's very... If you're watching on goal, he just readjusted himself. He sat up. He's leaning on the edge of his chair here. He means business. We're lucky. The dramatic pause. Wow.

I battled through one of the worst bouts of the 24-hour bug. So bad it lasted 48. And it was actually, it got to a point where I guess I didn't imagine what it's like to have a kid. Oh, boy. I was my own child. That is one of the reasons, too. I don't really have interest in kids. You lost me.

That was like some deep meta shit. I have a kid already. It's me. And it's like I have to deal with him all the time. And it's like I feel like after dealing with like a sick kid for like a day, it just becomes funny and you're laughing maniacally. You're losing your own mind. So like I was dealing with a sick child.

But it was you. But the parent had lost his mind. Right. So I was just laughing. Well, I feel like you're off. You know, i use this analogy way too often but walter white and heisenberg there's like the adult version of you and the kid version of you and this time the heisenberg took over you went full kid it was never go full

child it was everything i'll tell the story so i i i i got sick i got sick right i got sick on thursday wednesday morning thursday th morning. And I I'm always sick. So I'm never sick. Right. Like I everything always hurts. You always feel like a shit. I wake up. You never get good rest. Like that. Yeah. I wake up. It sucks. Like I was going to stomachache. I got a heartburn. My chest hurts. My back hurts. Everything's fucking. I'm not great. Again, the paradox, you're a child, but you're an old man.

And it's deep. It's very. I think a lot. Again, the paradox. You're a child, but you're an old man. It's deep. It's very, I think a lot of it, too. My mom wouldn't take me to the doctors when I was sick. So I never think, like, go to the doctors or anything like that. And so I woke up, and I was sick. And I was like, well, I guess we just got to, my stomach goes 3 a.m. And I, like, woke up. Because it's 3 a.m. and I'm calling everybody in my phone.

It's 3 a.m. and I want to go to bed. And I pooped in it. Oh, Jiminy Cricket. So I woke up at 3 a.m. and I pooped in my bed. I almost think we need to pause and give a disclaimer because when you call KFC Radio, when you listen to KFC Radio, maybe the caller is going to be talking about poop. You can usually rest assured that John Henry is going to be the one to stop the poop talk. Yeah, yeah.

And he pooped so much you became poop culture. I'm a poop guy. You became a poop guy. I love being a poop guy now. Yeah. So just brace yourself because what's about to happen is a lot of poop talk. So I pooped in my bed. And it wasn't a lot, but it was a little bit.

I think of pooping in your pants as very binary. You either pooped your pants or you didn't. It had gone through my pants onto the bed. Let's say that. So you shit yourself in your sleep? Yeah. Like you were asleep and you woke up into a puddle of poop. I didn't realize I'd shit my bed.

I woke up because I had to shit into the toilet. I got to poop in the toilet. It's time to use the bowl. I had to go shit into the toilet. It wasn't until I came back to my room that I realized I'd already shit all over my bed. You're sitting on the bowl like, so I can't,

I can't believe there's any more left. So I'm standing in my bed like doing the uh, uh, you know how you try

to just exhale things out? Yeah, wait, you said you're standing in your bed? I'm standing in my room looking in my bed. okay,

got it, got it. And I'm like, time to get back in bed and I kind of like mosey and over. Oh no. And I pull my sheets. And I'm like, time to get back in bed. And I kind of like mosey and over. Oh, no. And I pull my sheets back. I'm like, ugh.

I just turn around and I go to the couch. And now I had poop in the boxers, but I just didn't realize it was the kind of poop that I had gone through to the bed. And so I'm still wearing the poopy underpants. No, no, no. Once I pulled those down, I'd seen it was a disaster. I realized it was Chernobyl. The ronkin. 10,000 ronkins.

We were at fucking 100 million ronkins in them underpants. And so I fucking... I went to shit, and again, when I pulled my pants down, I was like, boy, there is a lot of shit in these underpants. So I crumpled those things up, throw them in my closet. Oh, no. Jesus. Have you washed those yet? Put on a new pair of underpants, right?

And I went to leave the bed. Saw a bed covered in shit. Couldn't deal with that. So I go and just lay down on the couch. Right? And again, this is probably like 4 a.m. now. It's still really, really fucking early. I'm out of it. I don't have a lot of sleep or anything like that.

And I'm like, all right, gotta go back to bed. I wake up. Oh, no. Two hours later Did you shit yourself again? What woke me up Was shit dripping down my ass I was sleeping like on my side

So tired I just felt like Like dripping down my cheeks. Yeah, like gravity just took over. I was like, why is water going down my cheeks? I was like, I'm shaking my pants. Right? This is a low moment. This is a low moment for the podcast... This is a low moment.

This is a low moment for the podcast. This is a low moment for your life. So, so I fucking... This is a low moment for my life. So I get up, go poop in the toilet. And, and I get through that whole thing. Throw those boxers in the closet. Put another pair of boxers on.

Right? And then at this point, like've been on twitter so long i've been doing this again just coming out of both sides of you just trying to puke it at this time i hadn't puked yet okay um and so so i'm now at this point box a pair of boxers three sun's not up yet and uh the son's not up he's on his third shit pants of the day and so so now i'm fucking i'm like all right we gotta get back to bed and then i i i'm i'm laying on the couch and i'm not trying to fall back to sleep i got tv on and i gotta fart and i you know by now you've got to know you can't safely fart Hang on a second You know it's like a

You're knocking on the door You're like Hello it's the police Or is it the poop The poop's on the other side With the battery ram ready to just fucking BAM That's a better joke

We're workshopping. Where it's like, there's a knock on the door. And you're like, is it the police or is it the criminals out there? Right. The police are a fart. And yours. Bad guys are a poop. But when you're conscious, you have the control of the sphincter to crack the door open.

Right. And take a peek. So let's see what's back there. Eye hole. A peep hole. Yeah. And it was just a little bit of a fart. But I realized while doing that, almost I had workshopped myself just there where I

was like, what's happening is when I'm asleep, I'm not, I don't have the sphincter control. So I'm just shitting myself. So, so I was like scientifically breaking this down. I was like, I was like like I can't fall back asleep or I'll shit myself it was like in Friday the 13th

no Nightmare on Elm Street it was like Nightmare on Elm Street where I was like I can't fall asleep or I'll die I was like I can't fall asleep or I'll fucking poop in my pants

and one two poop is coming for you so now I'm fucking I'm I'm actively trying to stay awake.

I'm like, I'm like not, not like exercising, but I'm like drinking water and eating food and just trying to get energy in my system. Blasting music. So I don't fall asleep and shit my pants. And then, and then so I'm up and I'm like going back to the toilet. I mean, I shit so many times it's crazy. I mean, the text, the running text I got from you about the whole thing, just chronicling

your shit pants. I would just get a random text Friday at 3.21pm. It just said four with a period. It said four what? It said four pants shit. But so this had gone on and by 10 o'clock or whatever I texted you

I was like, dude, it's not gonna... I had been holding off texting you because I felt bad we had an interview that day. And I was like, there's no way I'm getting in. And now I'm getting tired. Later in the day, I'm getting tired. And I'm like, I'm going to fall asleep. It's going to happen. And you're going to shit your pants.

And I'm going to shit my pants. So I make myself a diapie, right? I get – so what I do – I forgot about the diaper. So what I do is when I'm wearing clean boxers, I also go get like windbreaker pants. He described it as waterproof pants. I hadn't had the energy to – yeah, waterproof pants. I hadn't had the energy to change my sheet during like that, so I'm still sleeping on the couch. And I can't shit my couch because then after that I'm't had the energy to, yeah, waterproof pants. I hadn't had the energy

to change my sheet or anything like that so I'm still sleeping on the couch and I can't shit my couch because then after that I'm sleeping on the floor. So I was like,

alright, I'm going to get, I'm going to wear like Lululemon shorts or I had a pair of like swishy pants and I'm putting those on and just creating

a force field so when I shit my pants, a force field! So when I shit my pants when I'm asleep, again, not an if, when, I'm going to shit my pants so when i shit my pants when i'm asleep again not an if when i'm going to shit my pants and i can't have to get onto the couch and so i finally i'm like all right i am i'm wore it up i'm ready for a nap yeah kg i got a couple max i got a couple you know rocket launchers fights like i got a couple diapers. I'm storming into that Colin-esque dream sequence. Like, guess what, bitch?

You're not getting on my fucking couch cottons. It's also, you can't poop on the common room couch, you know? No, I mean, it's more of my couch. Everyone lives in their own rooms. Yeah, but still, you know. Yeah, you can't be shitting in the couch. You can't shit in the living room. You shit in the toilet.

You may be shitting in your bedroom. You can't be shitting in the living room. You can't be shitting in the living room. You can't do it. So I wake up, full pants of shit, and I have to now get rid of everything. Now, this stage now, while I'm not getting nauseous, because, I mean, I'm shitting everywhere. There's poop on the walls. There's poop on the floor.

The ceiling. There's shit everywhere. And now as I'm taking off my pants, shorts, underpants full of shit, I'm also nauseous. And I just start puking everywhere. And now I got, I'm puking like eight minutes straight. And there's something

about puking into the toilet you know you just pooped in a thousand times. Right. It's flushed and it's gone, but it's not. But it's not. Oh no. Oh it was. It's like on the bowl. All over but it's not. But it's not. Oh, no. Oh, it was. Yeah, because it's, like, on the bowl. All over the place. This is a fucking gross podcast. In my right hand, I was holding all the pans of shit.

So, like, I didn't want to get on the ground because then I had to scrub the floor. Right? And so I'm just like. Heaven help me. Okay. So, now. I start to feel better. I never really, for this entire 48-hour window, really, I never go to bed. I don't usually a lot either.

But, like, eventually my body would tire to the point where it was like, I got to sleep 15 minutes, dude, and I'd wake up in 15 minutes in an absolute panic that I'd shit my pants. Just wake it up. Yeah, oh, yeah, like immediately like immediately like no we're good okay but so the next day finally feeling a little bit better friday it's probably friday like four o'clock let me just read you the text from friday thursday night 8 p.m i have pooped 15 plus times today and i probably cried close to 10 i was yeah i was just weeping two of those poops claimed pants as my victims.

One claimed my bed. My house is a fucking wild scene right now. But then what I love about it, it's going to be a great podcast segment. I said to him, are we talking full-blown shit pants or are you sharted? He goes, there's definitely close to sharts, but they're the most I've ever shit my pants. It happens every time I take a nap, so now I'm scared to sleep like my asshole is Freddy Krueger. I said, you woke up in a puddle of poop. He goes, it wasn't a puddle.

It was definitely a significant stain on my bed. So now I'm sleeping on my couch in waterproof shorts or pants to protect the fabric in case I fall asleep and poop attacks. I said, this is straight up medieval. So this is the most disgusting I've ever had. It's like I have a baby except it's me. It's so fucking funny. Dude, and the, so finally Friday, it's like Friday at like 3 o'clock or whatever. I did say, I said, if it makes you feel any better, Shay slept in my bed that night and she peed the beds and she peed on me.

I said, if it makes you feel any better, Shay peed on me. He goes, peeing the bed's light work. Pee in the bed is light work. That's child's play. Been doing that for years. I almost enjoy that. I want to be an adult. Come take a dump in my bed.

But so Friday at like 3 or whatever, I'm feeling better. And I'm like, all right, you know what? Now, at this point, Friday at 3, I haven't eaten since Wednesday at 7 3 or whatever. I'm feeling better. And I'm like, all right, you know what? Now, at this point, it's Friday at 3. I haven't eaten since Wednesday at 7. Jesus Christ. And I don't even know where this stuff is coming out of. I don't know where it's coming from. And fucking – so I'm cooking.

Yeah, you got to get hungry at some point. And I'm cooking, cooking. I'm not ordering food. I'm cooking. We know John's on his HelloFresh kick, so he's rattling those pots and pans. And they're going to wish you didn't say their name. So I'm cooking, right? And I got music going.

I'm like, you know, it's like dancing where it's like, we good to dance? Oh, we do have the energy to dance. All right, we'll bop a little harder then. I definitely do this when I'm sick, too. I think when you get really sick, you always jump the gun on being healthy. Like, all right, I can go back out. Like, I'm good. And it's like, oh, wait, I should not.

I'm not over this yet. I'm not ready. This is a dip of the toe in the water. Yeah. All right. This isn't so bad, is it? And so I have prepared the chicken. I have prepared some greens on the frying pan with the chicken.

And it is now time to boil the water. It's now time. I've thrown the couscous into the water. The couscous. It is now the food's so nice they named it twice. And it is now. He loves saying that. He says it every time.

Every time. And it is now time to put the chicken into the oven. Put the chicken in the oven. I bend down. Oh, no. Put the chicken in the oven. Classic mistake. And it was like my stomach saw what was happening, like it's got eyes.

And it was like, what the fuck do you think you're doing, buddy? doing buddy yeah and he goes let me just remind you what's happening in here that was punishment for like who do you think you are like we are at defcon one red alert and you're just gonna go fucking hook up some fruscus i don't think so outside the fucking body right now you might be feeling like a holiday and it wasn't a ritz a Ritz, but you might be at a holiday level. Inside, it's still a war zone. And as I went down, I just shit in my pants. For the fourth time. For the fourth time in 12 hours.

But at this point, at this point, it was. Couscous is really hard to cook, right? John. It's really hard to cook. John. At this point, it was couscous. It's really hard to cook, right? John. It's really hard to cook. John. You got to stay mixing it. No.

No, you don't. Not when you shit your pants. And the chicken, I didn't want to burn. No. So I just cooked the rest of the meal with bullshit. John. John. It wasn't bullshit in my pants. It was just a good amount of poop. John! John! As I was,

like, it wasn't bullshit in my pants. It was, like, just a good amount of poop. John! I already told you

there's either shit in your pants or not. And it was like, it was like, John, I am, like, sorely disappointed

in you. Like, like, like, when I walked as I was continuing to cook. Oh my God!

You're walking and cooking with poop in your pants? I could feel the shit like getting stuck to a cheek. And it was like, because here's the deal, Kevin. Here's what would happen.

I have two options, okay? You have one option. It's go clean the poop out of your pants. No, because here's what's going to happen, right? So I don't have time to go shower. I don't have time. That's off the table. Otherwise, the meal is ruined.

The meal. This fucking meal. But I would have had time to go change my boxers, right? But then I'm just dirtying up another pair of boxers. You're going to shit again, yeah. I haven't cleaned my cheeks yet, so I'm going to put on a pair of boxers. Do a poop. I'm just leading lamb to slaughter one and so i cooked a whole meal and then when i was done i went and showered changed my poop pants

put on new pants and how long would you say you just sat there and let the poop marinate how long was i in my own filth yes 20 minutes oh my. Oh, my God. I mean, that's how you get ratchet. Probably seven. That's how the plague started. If I had to guess, the recipe said let the chicken sit for 17 to 20 minutes. I would say 22 minutes I was sitting in my own poop. That is literally how like one third of the world once got wiped out is people just living in their own filth. And you, in the year 2020, you just chose to live in your own excrement.

Well, yeah. Yeah. As a non-poop guy. It was, I mean, so, like, that was, yeah, it was a scene. You know, one of the more ridiculous parts, too, where, like, I would, like. One of the more ridiculous, I mean. Well, just, like, on one of those. The whole thing, John.

Friday night, I started getting, like, my laundry together and shit like that because I had to come to fucking Miami on Sunday And it was like You didn't just throw those out? You like cleaned them? I throw the sheets Did you send your poop boxers to the washing post? No I just did this myself

Because if you send that to like Min Lee you're a fucking asshole But I'm like picking up things right? And I was in such a fog of war I was picking up things I was like I don't even remember shitting in these. Like, I don't remember shitting on these pants. You got to remember. I mean, I can count like all the times I shit. I can remember all of them because they're very few times.

You had, you pooped in your pants enough times for a lifetime in a 12-hour span. I was going around my apartment picking these up. I was like, when did I shit on this? What the fuck are you going on? Are you kidding me? I was like, I got shit on my shirt? When did I shit on my shirt? What is happening right now?

John, let me ask you something. But that's the story. That was my Thursday, Friday. Now that I, I mean, obviously the world knows now, but as this is going on. The sheets, by the way, I cleaned. And then when they were clean, I was like, these are still dirty.

It wasn't like a feel. It was noticeable. This is still a pair of poop sheets. You're going to wear those boxers again? Like wearing poop boxers? I really wish you didn't ask that. You're wearing them right now, aren't you? I wore them yesterday.

And I shit on them. And I shaved them. There's a pair of striped boxers in my closet right now. They're the same Freddy Krueger. Not Freddy Krueger. They're Jason. They're Jason boxers. Wow. They were Freddy Krueger.

That would have been an all-time fucking coincidence. I don't know what happened. I mean, not only. I was going to keep this one secret, Kevin. I was going to tell it. At this point, John, the secrets. I mean, they're all on the fucking table. All right, fine.

I pooped myself in the gym yesterday. I still haven't. Oh, wait. That's what I. Yeah, no. I washed them. They were clean. I pooped in them again.

I still. John, you're healthy. No, I still haven't taken a normal poop. But you're healthy now and you're still shitting your pants. No, it was... John, you're healthy enough. I'm healthy enough. You are now just a pants shitter.

I'm healthy enough where I shouldn't have shit my pants. It was... Were you on the elliptical? Just like... No, I'm not on the elliptical. Come on. You can't get cats like these on the elliptical. The, uh...

Yeah, no, I was just stay in the gym. That's what you get. You know what that's got? Right now, John, Dan, and PFT are all going to the gym on vacation. That's why, and that'll explain why I was so defensive this morning when you picked up a pair of boxers of mine. And I went, they're not pooping those ones. Yeah, so we're in John's room.

And I'm curious about John's other underpants, not his poop-stained ones, his size small boxers. Because if you've been listening, you know that John, even being a fat, dumb bitch that he is, he has a pair of small briefs. And I grab them, much like you would a piece of evidence, just like two fingers. And I go, are these? And I was going to say the small boxers. And he goes, nope, there's not poop in those.

Nope. Like, ha, ha, ha. Nope, nope, you thought you got me but I didn't you fucking idiot you didn't know how close they were though I know they were right behind that door so now you you're now on day like four of pooping your pants yeah you're like a four-day span and you're much healthier John you're out drinking I'm still diarrhea though I know but I don't know what that's about you can you can have diarrhea and you still can make it John. You're out drinking. I'm still diarrhea-ing though. I know, but you can have diarrhea and you still can make it to the bowl. You are now a pants pooper. Yeah. And now let me ask you this. So I said the whole world obviously knows, but as this is going down,

what are you telling the romantic interest in your life? Are you? Because we are both very much, or at least it used to be, on the same page as far as like we don't do poop jokes or open honesty with our lovers when it comes to this stuff. What were you doing?

I mean, I'm not feeling good. Yeah, but like so is she going to find this out from the podcast? No, this is a podcast. But like, okay, so that's my point. She doesn't know that any of this happened. She knows I was sick. Right. I don't know. She knows I puked, so it was like I was in the bathroom. But doesn't know that any of this happened. She knows I was sick. Right. I don't know.

She knows I puked, so it's like I was in the bathroom. But if this comes back to her some way, she's going to know that her man pooped himself 45 times. Yeah. Yeah. We talked about it earlier in the show. This is a Trust Tree show. Yeah.

Big time Trust Tree. That's it. You know what? One of the weird things that happened afterwards, too. I mean. On Saturday, my mom called me, and and she was like how are you feeling and i was like i'm like it i was healthy yeah right i was like i'm fine but it's i am still i'm old enough where like i i was in recovery like i was in recovery from being sick. You know what I mean? When you were younger, you were just like, oh, I'm not sick anymore.

Right, right. Go play, yeah. I'm not sick, but I can't go upstairs still. I'm not sick. Transitioning back into life. But I get winded walking into the kitchen. And at any given moment, I might poop myself. Yeah. It was a very, I was like, I'm no longer ill,

but I could use electrolytes and I need to hydrate. And then, and maybe in two days after some fluids, I'll be okay. Adult men are just fucking disgusting. You're like an adult body with a baby control. I mean, you think about 2020 and the things people do in the bedroom,

even to guys now, it's like, you know, ladies next time, next time you're going south of the border and you're going way low, think of, like, that man might have shit himself four times in 12 hours. God damn it. Hello, John. Nice to meet you.

You are a fucking animal. You are a literal animal, man. I know, I know. So often, you know, here on KFC Radio, we've been talking, we've been talking on the record for 10 years. Like you said, we've grown,

we've changed. And so there's often going to be times where, you know, maybe we said something in the past and many years later, we've, we've changed and we've grown. But this is a text. This is, this is a spiel from John.

A mere 10 days ago. What do you got? I've never had poop fall out of my butt. You've never been, like, you know, rushing to the bathroom? Not once in this life have I had poop fall out of my butt. I have poop fall out of my butt is when I wanted to. I have complete control over my sleep. Next time. That's an all-time old take six pose. I have I have complete control over my Wow

That's an all time old take I mean and you know what That's a freezing cold take But very apropos to you It didn't age poorly At that moment in time You had complete control Poop did not fall out of your butt

I never said it'll never happen Right It has never happened And now it absolutely has Poop did not fall on your butt. I did not. Like, listen to me. I never said it'll never happen. Right. You just said it had to happen. It has never happened. And now it absolutely has. I honestly can't remember a time I had either. Maybe it's just like everyone's pants shit's stored up and then, like, you know, they're like, yo, you got to catch up. No, no.

I don't think so. Most people shit their pants at least sometimes. No. I don't think that's the case. You think that there's like a quota Like a finite number of pants shits And some people get it over the course of I feel like you poop your pants when you're a baby You poop your pants when you're like 80 plus

And then in between you're good You just had this little blip on the radar At the age of 30 Yeah, and let's make sure we know that it's a blip Let's hope it's a fucking blip Let's get into these voicemails Alright, today's voicemails are brought to you by Roman if you are

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It's GetRoman.com slash KFC. Voicemail time. We're going to do a little dealer's choice here. Handsome, ugly penis hypothetical or physically or emotionally dead? Wait, I'm sorry. Do it again. Handsome slash handsome, ugly penis hypothetical or physically or emotionally dead? Handsome, ugly penis. My or physically or emotionally dead? Handsome, ugly penis. My man, that's a good choice. What's up, KFC Fights, Super Producer BC.

So my roommate and I were having a conversation, and the question came up, would you rather be an incredibly good-looking man with a micro penis or an absolutely hideous man with a micro penis or an absolutely hideous man with a fucking hammer? Let me know what you guys think. I mean, that's an easy question. It's an absolutely easy question. The good looking guy with a micro penis.

I thought he was going to be asking about handsome penises. Yeah, so let's come up with our own hypothetical there. Would you rather have a normal dick, normal looking dick, but, like, small? Like, I'm not going to say micro-penis because that's, like, people, like, kill themselves over that. We have, like, a one-inch dick. Let's say it's, like, about four inches.

It's small, but it's, like, you know, usable. Yeah. Or you have, like, an eight-inch or whatever girls deem to be, you know, big and thick enough, but not like a problem, you know, you got to fly in your face. Uh, but it is, it's gruesome.

Let's say it's uncircumcised. It's multicolored. It's got like a lump on it. It's curved. Uh, the bottom is like wider than the head. It looks like a tree in Lord of the Rings. Yes.

Yeah. Right. It looks like beard tree or tree beard or whatever his name is. I know what you're talking about, but I know what you're talking about. Gnarled and twisted. Looks like a tree man from India. Bearded. Yeah, just lumpy and

almost looks like it has an STD, but it doesn't. A four inch. Yeah, probably. Now, but what about let's say not totally gruesome, but let's say uncircumcised. I think having a handsome penis is a very important thing. Yeah. I was once told.

I think we've joked about that before. I've never been told. I just know. I got a handsome peep. I was told I have the perfect penis if I want somebody once, and I was like, stop it. And they were like, no, no, no, don't get me wrong. I don't mean it's like huge, but it just like looks like I close my eyes and I picture a dick, and that's what I want it once and I was like stop it and they were like no no don't get me wrong I don't mean it's like huge and like but it just like looks like like I closed my eyes on a picture of a dick and that's what I wanted to be and it was like it was the most genuine like you know

like if you tell me I have a big dick or you tell me like you're the best in bed I'm like no I'm not but the way she described that I was like thank you that's that's very sweet of you I still I mean I definitely have the Neapolitan ice cream thing going and some people are weirded out by that i think that's pretty common if you ask me uh but i think i got like a nicely shaped dick that's that's really you can hang your hat on that at the end of the day hanging out on my dick literally and make it metaphorically imagine if i just took my cap and i just hung it on there tell you what if i took these pants off a lady who was painting a nude i'm just talking about anyone but if you can say if a lady was going to paint my naked body and i took my pants off

she wouldn't be like whoa she probably wouldn't get wet but she'd go well that looks nice the way you hit the t on it she wouldn't get wet she would be like okay that's what it's supposed to look like yeah that's speaking of the sculptures that what I have. I have like a doctor's cartoon in like a book. Right. It's like textbook dick. That's a penis. It's a penis. You take my pants off, you know it's a penis.

I actually think sometimes the textbooks are doing us a favor. I think sometimes the textbooks are like pretty small. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Pretty weird looking. Yeah, but it's the right proportions. Yeah. It's like, oh, yeah, this matches what I saw in the textbook once. What do you think about when Michelangelo was making the David?

I mean, that dick is so tiny. Do you think that he had beef with David? Do you think he wanted to slander David? Wouldn't you, if I was an artist and I was like, I'm going to make a sculpture dedicated to David. This guy, he pulled off the biggest upset in the history of battle. Wouldn't you throw him a bone? Give him an extra inch or two? Well, you know what? Everything back then was reverse. This guy, he pulled off the biggest upset in the history of battle. Wouldn't you, like, throw him a bone? Yeah.

Give him an extra inch or two? Well, you know what? Everything back then was reverse. I bet. Having a small dick was hot. I mean, his is so small, it's like a turtle. I'm kind of kidding, but not kidding either. It's going in, and it's resting on the balls.

Yeah. Like, give him a little bit of, like, let it hang lower than the balls. David's got a dick like that pig who shits on his balls. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that guy. That's OG internet. You said that and I knew exactly what you were talking about.

The guy had such fat balls he would just poop and it would just slide out onto the balls. It would just get stuck on his balls. That's what David's dick is. It's just a piece of poop that got stuck on his balls. A lot of pooped off today. Oh, yeah. You have to think that Michelangelo was actually a Goliath fan. He was like Team Goliath and he was like, I'm going to make this little i think i i got like it was like what like you know pale skin hot being

right being fat hot little dick hot yeah i mean i've been flat chest little dick bush we could go if we could get that going again that'd be good yeah it wouldn't be too bad um let's do a couple more here i'm looking at the uh fiancé about girls he hooked up with. What a terrible idea that is. KFC fights above average to produce a PC. So I got a question. I have a fiancé, and she's recently found out through other people that before me and her were together, I kind of got around and I'm still friends with a

lot of the girls that I slept with. And she's finding out now as she's becoming friends with these girls in my town that I had actually slept with a lot of them. And so she's kind of got on my ass about it and has been mad at me for not telling her before she befriended these girls that I had slept with them. So am I, like, an asshole for not telling her? Or is it the other way around because she's freaking out on me just because she didn't ask about it or anything? And I slept in the dark. But either way, she's really been ripped. You are not the asshole.

Anything you guys got. No, for keeping this a secret. She is the asshole. Not an asshole, but, you know, are not the asshole. No, for keeping this a secret. She is the asshole. Not an asshole, but you know, curiosity killed the cat. You shouldn't ask those questions. Don't ask what you don't want to know. My thing is more these people

who stay in the same town their whole life. This couldn't even happen to me if I wanted it to. To be in this big friends group and you're staying in the same town you were. And it's like, yep.

Fucked her. I fucked her. I remember her. I fucked that one. It's just like, I don't even keep friends from like, let alone like, here's the,

uh, there, here's the advice I can give on this. We're just like the, it's really not advice. It's just a solution. Like live your life like chapters of a book. Okay. Yeah. And then, but like it's an anth advice. It's just a solution. Like, live your life like chapters of a book. Okay.

Yeah. And then, but, like, it's an anthology book. Yeah. I think the better example is more, like, live your life like an anthology series. And each book is, like, done. You know, like, move on. It's tied together, but it's new characters. We do not have the same cast.

Right. Right. It is. Right. I like that a lot. I have, like, four people in my life who have been with me my whole life that aren't doing my DNA. Actually, no, I have zero people in my life who have been with me my whole life. I have four people who have been with me since.

That don't have your DNA, you said? Yeah. Yeah. Like I have like four or five people who have been with me since high school. Everyone else is you live in this world. Oh, I'm so the same way. It's a completely different world. Yes.

And guess what? We don't do crossovers. No. I think that actually people think I'm a little bit weird, or my friends, especially because I moved a couple times too. So I have my Bronx friends, my Westchester friends, my Philadelphia friends. Oh, I don't even have them. They're not friends

anymore. It's not like that. Yeah, they're just gone. We can never revisit that world. It's never coming back. That's pretty harsh. Yeah. Well, the same thing will happen with Barstool. You think so? I was just about to say me and you are lifers. Oh, no, you and I, you're probably around. I don't think anyone else. Really? I mean, I don't know.

I'm obviously exaggerating. No, you're probably not. Most of the people are co-workers, and I like them, but there's really, you know, when we move on. There are more people, but like, if I'm allowed to continue my joke when Barstool's done, I'll never talk to any of you ever again.

I mean, sometimes I feel like people want, like, my friends will want to meet my Barstool people, or like a girl wants to meet the Barstool people who are friends from home, and I'm just like, no, why? It's independent George and relationship George. Not that I have things to hide, but it's just like I'm one person here, I'm one person with you. Once things get serious, it's like you have to share worlds with each other.

I suppose. But again, why? Largely speaking, even in a perfect world, there's only one other person you ever have to share those worlds with. Right. Because it takes a long time to get to the level where you're like, all right, you want to meet these people i would say it's like i got childhood friends it's like and also i don't cut people out it's just the faith yeah things happen but i don't

have any friends from home very few friends in high school zero friends from college never had another job so this is it my i would say my life my my social life, my romantic life, my professional life can best be summed up as American Horror Story. Yeah. It is a harrowing tale, a horror film, if you will, every single year with different cast of characters. Similar. Sometimes people are in both worlds, but they're completely different types of people, and they don't ever connect. I just keep that horror story separate.

Smart. Alright, time to get into our interview, if you call it that, with Kirk Minahan. It's brought to you by the Barstool Sports Store. All Viva items have been restocked. The blue hoodie is the hoodie of the year. The red hoodie compliments it well. We got the Viva blankets back in stock. John has his entire series, entire line of the year. The red hoodie compliments it well. We got the Viva blankets back in stock.

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Double Deuce, Roadhouse. We got Dorcea. Yeah, you went deep. You got some deep cuts. Yeah, Dorcea's the best one. I was looking at it last night and people were like, wait, is that a Dorcea t-shirt? Yeah, buddy.

Yeah, I got fucking Dorcea t-shirts. Yeah, those are about one. That's the line of t-shirts for the year. What is it? Doeiley Cantina or whatever. That's the Star Wars one. Star Wars one. The back of that is so sick.

Yeah, that's fine. You will never find a, was it, whatever, That's the Star Wars one? Star Wars one. The back of that is so sick. Yeah. You will never find a, was it, whatever, something about wretched villainy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. To me, the Garrison is the one. The Garrison one is so sick.

The Garrison one is just the color. It's like this beige. It looks like a white t-shirt that's aged, but it's just like intentionally like that. Super fire. So go to the Barstool Sports store. Store.barstoolsports.com. Grab all your gear.

Let's talk to that fucking pussy. You fuckingunt you fucking fuck kirk minahan all right so we have we got kirk minahan here um for reference so everyone knows what we're talking about in case you are not a minifan and you haven't heard his podcast this is audio from their podcast playing audio of our podcast where they're making fun of the Shane Gillis interview, where they're just laughing like fucking buffoons, over-exaggerating the clip of me setting up a question, acting like it's incomprehensible and I'm stuttering and stammering and not making any sense and not getting to my point,

when I firmly believe it's a pretty basic concept and a pretty standard question. So we'll listen to this audio, and then we'll get Kirk's reaction. That fucking idiot. They went too bad. So we got into it with them because we were basically like, that didn't surprise me.

Like, you were going to, you were about to start a job at Channel 4 NBC Network, and they found some shit, you were saying some pretty all-color stuff. I feel like that's going to happen a hundred out of a hundred times. Yeah. And,

and we are kind of of the school of thought, especially we've been doing this a long time. So like, we've been making edgy off color jokes, getting in trouble for it. And it's like, you're not canceled. If it's the whole cancel culture thing,

spiral out of control the other direction of my mind. So we were kind of saying like, it makes sense that NBC was like, listen, I don't know we can't do that maybe it's more to the story that i don't know but on the surface what is he talking about channel and so yeah by the way the consequences whereas the minahan show they will champion anybody at all times no matter yeah what the flaw is so those assholes as opposed as opposed my foot you've made my philosophy clear. As opposed to the Minahan

show, where they just, you know, defend free speech. But not only that. Hey, Shane, you know those guys that defended you? They'll defend fucking anyone. They'll defend rapists, racists, anyone that comes in. As opposed to the Minahan show, who will defend anyone who says things? What did he say? Kirk Minahan joins the

program now. Miami Kirk is in the building. Well, actually, outside the building. God damn it. And that's the interview. Go back home. You don't want Mike's not here, right? Yeah, like we're not going to just laugh incessantly at everything you say here.

I feel like I'm trapped here. I don't like this. You got to keep your head on a swivel, you fucking idiot. I don't like this. You got to keep your head on a swivel, you fucking idiot. I don't like this. So I feel like you're severely out of place in Miami. I feel like you're not out of Miami. We all are, but I feel like you are. He's got a pink shirt on, peach shirt we'll call it. Yeah, I think it's salmon.

I like it. Salmon, yeah. So I was just telling you guys before, I only have like six, seven hours to kill in between my show and the radio show today. So, and Kevin can confirm Portnoy told me that I'm here specifically only show and the radio show today. And Kevin can confirm importantly he told me that I'm here specifically only to do the radio show. Dave is very rattled about any potential Kirk Manahan show shenanigans. Which is absurd. So I went for a little walk.

Why would you have any concern about that? So I went for a little walk. I mean we're all trying to get our legs under us after the tragedy that's happened recently. So I went for a walk and I literally got so fucking lost. I ran into Dave doing a pizza review and he said you're a block away. And I went for a walk, and I literally got so fucking lost. I ran into Dave doing a pizza review, and he said, you're a block away. And I was.

Doofus. You guys watch Sopranos, right? No. No? Would you? I've seen George and the Mountain King. Shawshank Redemption? Yeah.

Okay. I was like Brooks when he got out of prison. Watching cars go by, confused by the sky. Maybe you should just hang yourself. That's stuff considered. So I woke up this morning, and I guess somebody was tweeting me about the Kirk Minahan. Oh, yeah, somebody tweeted a rundown of your show, and it said at the six-minute mark that Shane Gillis puts KFC's brain in a blender or something. Right.

So I tuned into it, and the way you guys were setting it up, I thought, I was like, because I don't ever listen back to my podcast. I don't either. And so I was like... Do you? No. Fuck no. Are you kidding me?

I mean, we hate ourselves. And I don't want to... Yeah, I hate myself. I don't understand people who... I didn't mean to get in the way. You're rambling again. But it is... Like, people who can listen back to themselves,

I feel like are the most... Serial killers, I think. I feel like as soon as I hear my... As soon as I start talking, I'm like, nope, turn it off. Anyway, I decided to listen back, and I was prepared for me to embarrass myself the way you guys were setting it up. Okay. And I thought it was the most...

And I'm the king of exaggerating. Right. That was the most gross over-exaggeration I've ever heard in podcast history. Okay, well... I said, like, uh, twice, and that was it. Otherwise, it was a very basic point of, I can understand why NBC, a network channel, would fire you for saying vulgar things.

I think you're the idiot for not being able to comprehend that. Well, again, this was three minutes of a three-hour show. I had forgotten about it. I'm glad that it's so important you want to bring me back here to talk about it. I mean, you were the one who talked about it. The guy basically... And I know you saw it, too, because we got him first, you are the one who talked about it. The guy, basically, it's you two. And I know you saw it because we got him first, and you didn't get him. He turned you down like three or four times.

I had no problem with that. I actually have no problem with that. You guys need guests. That's not a big deal. But so what you have been all along is you guys are both like, there's no cancel culture. There's no cancel culture. And Gillis was basically like, no. That is not an example of cancel culture.

And Gillis was like, no, there's a cancel culture. And you're like, well, I understand. Well, NBC, I mean, you were. That is not an example of cancel culture. He had you on your heels. He had you on your heels. Indisputably, no question about it. I can't believe.

See, this is where you guys lose credibility talking about cancel culture. And this is why when you guys. What's credibility? Tackling and laughing like a bunch of buffoons over me saying that Kirk Manahan show will defend anything. And I use the word anything on purpose because you defend all of it blindly. I would always. Always.

But it loses its emphasis. To who? To you? I don't care. Anybody. To any of your listeners. I don't think that's true. We talked about this downstairs today

when I was walking by with the Kobe stuff. What's the comedian's name between that stupid fucking name? Ari Shaffir. Yeah. Great. Let him do it. What's the big fucking deal?

It's a stupid thing. We say it's stupid. We move on. Right. But what Shane Gillis did in the way you guys are viewing and discussing cancel culture in the modern 2019, 2020 world, that's not an example of it. That's been happening forever. If a buttoned up, tight network... Twitter hasn't been around forever, but I know what you're saying.

I'm talking about NBC. I'm not talking about Twitter. What do you mean it's been around forever? NBC and SNL would have fired someone for those kind of comments a long time ago. I don't know if that's true, but I think you would agree that it's much easier now for that stuff to surface. And there are people who are actively hunting for it. Sure, but... That's the difference. I mean, there are people who are actively hunting for it. Sure, but that's a difference. There are people who are digging through old tweets.

I mean, they are looking to bring people down. We see it all the time. Look, I don't, you know... If they do it, great, whatever. So is your argument more that like... Are you blaming NBC for that or are you blaming social media? Well, yeah, NBC should say... Lorne Michaels should say, fuck off.

He has the power. There are a few people in entertainment. But when has that ever happened? What if someone's dropping a racial slur for a non-cable network? You're going to get fired. You saw it this weekend with Rogan when he endorsed Bernie Sanders. These people, other campaigns,

are looking for old Joe Rogan tweets. He's a comedian. I guarantee you a comedian has fucking said off-collar stupid shit in the past. My point is, so what? What changes? You're right. I mean, they're going to fire him and there's going to be backlash, I guess.

But if they had said, I even think it's like with Francis. If they had said to Shane Gillis, hey, go away for two weeks. We're not going to pay you. He comes back. Nobody says anything. He moves on. Well, that's why I have said before, if I was in charge with Francis, I would have suspended him, not fired him.

And that, I think, is a better example. So he's an example of canceling. No, because we Barstool is a place where off-color jokes and pushing the envelope happens. So then to fire someone over that, I think is where you can get a little bit hypocritical. For NBC to be like, we were going to hire you to do family-friendly sketches

and then we dug up... That's not... It is now, though. It's just that place is going to fire him, whether it's now, then, whatever. If you catch somebody saying chink,

and you're at Channel 4 NBC, that's not going to fly. Isn't the issue with NBC not doing their due diligence? Yeah. And we discussed that. They had no idea. They gave it 24 hours before they did the announcement. And he said he had

thousands of hours of podcasts to listen to. But if you hire a comedian like that, these are simple, like, I don't know. That's a simple Google search or a Twitter search. He said that, I think, I don't know if it was in the interview or on API. I saw that, yeah. It was one of the I think it wasn't on the podcast, so you probably haven't don't know if it was in the interview or his book right away. Yeah, I saw that. It was one of the, I think it wasn't on the podcast, so you probably haven't heard it.

But it was like, he said something like, they called me the day before and he was like, should you listen to my podcast? And they're like, you have a podcast? Right. No. I mean, is that unbelievable? So I kind of was like, do you think it's just that? And he kind of chuckled it off, but it was like, yeah, it was bad.

It was definitely bad research by them. One of you guys, I think that guys, I listened to the interview. I thought the interview was very good, by the way, which I also said, which you didn't mention, which is fine. I praise the interview. Which is another thing. You and your fucking lackeys are praising it to me personally. You go on your show and you cackle like a bunch of buffoons. I said on the show you did a good job. Which also made no sense.

You were talking out of both sides of your mouth. You can have one shaky moment in a good interview. Yes, if I did have one shaky moment in a good interview. Yes. If I did have one, I would admit it. Do you want me... You guys talked about Kate McKinnon with the Hallelujah thing and that, right? Yeah, that was ridiculous. I mean, once they did that, I was saying this this morning, once they did that, the fucking

show was over anyway. It's a comedy show. It's over. I mean, you ever come out... I don't know if I just intentionally suppress it from my mind, but every time someone brings it up, I remember getting fucking laughed at. Didn't you? Didn't you?

It actually is one of the funniest. It's true. I kept waiting for Baldwin to walk out as Trump and like do a duet or something. Right. When, when did the joke, when's the punchline?

I mean, it just started crying for real. He had said he wants to sing Hallelujah. That's the lowest moment. Yeah. That was fun. I mean, uh, well, you know what? You want me to moment. In Trump. Yeah. That was fun. That was fun. I mean. Well, you know what?

You want me to apologize? I'm really sorry. No, I didn't mean to. I'm more worried about you. Like, you got to maintain a little bit of credibility, Kirk. Where do you want this? Like, the way you set that up. This is between you guys.

I told Kevin, Kirk, come on. I probably don't have much to say. Whenever I'm here, Feidelberg has no interest. Yeah, he is. He has no interest in you. It's not I have no interest in you. It's unbelievable. I have interest in you, Kirk. I like your shirt. I no interest. He has no interest in you. It's not I have no interest in you. It's unbelievable. I have interest in you, Kirk.

I like your shirt. I said it. You people have interest in. It's actually what I do. I just compliment people's shirts, and I'm like, I'm good. I think she liked the show. Fine. Fuck you.

You like the shirt? Okay. It's your henchmen that are the problem. That's a you issue. No, that's like a world issue. I mean, we do. So what's your problem? It's not really a problem.

It's just that when, I guess it's your henchmen and your fans. I mean, your fans are the worst. My fans are the best. I mean, even you don't like your fans. I love my fans. I'm so loyal. No, you don't. Of course I do.

You really don't like your fans. I'm about to go. Do you want to show them? It's very funny how much you hate your own fans. In a week and a half, I'm going to be in the northern part of the United States with my fans. Mattawaska, Maine. That's how much I love them. Then we're going to your old haunt, the Wilbur, in June. The Minifans

are the greatest people on Earth. And by the way, they like you guys. Yeah. No, I mean, we don't like them. They listen to you. They support your program. We talk about your show. I would actually prefer they don't. I don't know what the Minifans are. I know what they are. Minsell's great people. I don't like...

I always just mute people who have parody accounts. So I guess I mute them a lot. I do with PFT Commentary. If there's a barstool or something, I just mute them. If you're not connected to us, you're gone. But that's good to have support. That's nice. It's part of your job, isn't it?

I mean, no? What are we doing here? I mean, again, I was just concerned for you next time that you do some grand setup of being like, we're about to listen to a stuttering, stammering tirade. It was like, oh my. And this is another thing we talked about downstairs.

You guys can say whatever you want, and then the minute someone responds, they're a pussy. I mean, that's ridiculous. That's not true. Well, that's what you and all your fans say. Who said you were a pussy? You and all your fans. When? I think you, I mean, to be fair, I think you did quote tweet and say, what a pussy. Yeah, but that was like early this morning.

That doesn't count anymore. Statute of limitations on that one. Yeah, I mean, you do this thing. Do you think it's an overreaction? Do I think it's an overreaction? By you? Yeah. No, I mean, I think you have a habit of causing overreactions, which I guess is a...

No, no, no. It's causing a reaction. It's not overreacting for me to be like, wait a minute. You guys were... I mean, you do understand that it's also you're kind of amplifying and having some fun at it. You are. You're a henchman or not. Who cares?

I mean, what do you mean who cares? I'm not going to lose sleep over this. You care what Steve Robinson thinks? I don't really care, but it's just like you said, what we're doing here, none of this matters. But if you talk shit and then also are behind the scenes begging me to name drop and stuff, I'm going to bring it back up.

Who's begging you to name drop? Well, I'm Mike. Okay, not me. Yeah, no, you're good. But I'm saying just because I react to something doesn't mean I'm crying and losing sleep over it or overreacting. I'm just reacting to people who are criticizing my work who are doing it hypocritically. Were you really that concerned? Again, not really concerned. I'm talking the final part.

Were you really that concerned that weekend before you came on my show? You said you texted me like you were worried about it all week. I didn't text you. We talked about it on the podcast. Oh, is that what it was? Sorry. I texted you after. What do you think? I sent you a personal text like, hey, Kirk, I'm crying. I think I texted you that you were coming. I didn't text you. We talked about it on the podcast. Oh, is that what it was? Sorry. I texted you after. What do you think? I sent you a personal text

like, hey, Kirk, I'm crying. I think I texted you and asked you if you were coming on, didn't I? Because you guys are actually like the polar opposite, the other end of the spectrum of cancel culture. Why would you think so? We get along fine. Because you guys would try to go out of your way to cancel someone. Yeah, but not you guys. Well, you never know. Based on what? You guys are fucking, you're a lunatic.

You have no loyalty to anybody but yourself. I support the shows I like here all the time. Yeah, but I'm just saying. All the time. I love this show. Like you just said about your tweet. That was a morning ago. That could just flip.

I don't know if he's ever talked to me on the show, but I'm not like 10 times. He dreads it every time. I don't dread it. I don't have interest in the cancel culture thing. You're just like, who cares? I'm tired of it by now. I am tired. It's definitely something that's run its gamut as far as I'm concerned.

I agree. But you had Shane Gillis on talking about it. Right, but you were talking about it every fucking week. No, we don't. Some days we don't do it at all. Really? Yes. I feel like that's all I've ever heard from you guys.

So you're getting mad at me. You're going heavy with the promo of it. Your promo is... But he's getting mad at me for talking cancel culture, for reacting to your show where you talked about it. I'm not getting mad at you. I'm saying you're a one-trick pony with that. One-trick pony with that.

Well, Jesus Christ, now... I'm a born entertainer. King of come on the show and talk about it, and if I have you do that, now it's an overreaction? I'm happy to be here. You're overreacting. You stuttered. You stammered. You sound like a shithead.

I mean, again... You got called out for it. It was embarrassing. I was prepared for me to be like... It was one of duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh. I said, uh, like one time. Listen, yeah, but the content of it made no sense. It made perfect sense. You were on your heels.

My guy Shane Gillis. I wasn't. And Shane completely understood it. It was like, I think you guys are unintelligent for not being able to understand it. Saying that a network channel is going to fire you for racist, racial comments is a very basic thing. What don't you understand? I'm so uncomfortable in this city.

I was saying this earlier. I ran this morning. There's a tremendous amount of cats. Are there? No, I haven't really been outside yet. What do you mean? I haven't really done anything yet. When did you get here today?

No, I got here yesterday, but I've been laying low. Someone's trying to rob that. What are you going to do? What's your big stunt this week? I already saw you live on Periscope. Who were you yelling at on that one? I was investigating how to get into the NFL thing there. It's close to Wednesday, the experience, which is very unusual.

And then I was trying to talk to a bunch of Jehovah's Witnesses. And I was just wandering around. I wanted to get good question for you. Are you? I got to go find someone to yell at. Mike, this is my issue, though. I did the podcast this morning for a couple of hours. I'm on at four.

You were here, Kevin. Dave said you're just here for the radio. But I feel like I have to do stuff. Yeah, we actually were talking about that last night because there is the pressure put on. For six hours, I feel like an idiot just sitting around. I'm glad you asked me to do it. People at the media at Super Bowl week, you get the meetings where it's like, you've got to do work. And people come down here and just do stupid things.

It's like, ah, I don't know. The office has been moved here. Do work here. Do what you would normally do. Do what you do. Don't go out of your way to do something stupid. Rowan was talking about it last night, his first Super Bowl, where he's like, I wish I didn't do Punk Buddies or whatever it was.

That was terrible. I just did it because it's Super Bowl week and I thought I had to do more. But Dave breathes that by saying you better work, then you get people doing idiotic shit. Well, that's the thing. They go down there and do the stuff you do on Periscope. I'm like, well, all right, but what does that mean? So you just walk around the city looking for people to do that? yeah i mean i don't know what the fuck else to do true or false true or false you are are intentionally you're having blind mike not tell you what he's

planning so you have plausible deniability false false and not only that like you know like i understand the hierarchy here i work for people so when, hey, there's this and that, I'll question it. But once they say no, then you say no. Dave is banned, Mike, from all Barstool activities of the podcast. He's like, I don't trust him. I don't want to be part of it. And you know what? If that's the way it is, I disagree with it. But what can you do? But why do you disagree with it?

Well, because I think it's a guy who wants to do stuff. I think he's trying. And I think if he reaches out to Dave and says, hey, I'm trying this, Dave should at least look at it as opposed to saying, blanket, no, and say, well, okay, that makes sense. But, I mean, I feel like he's seen Blind Mike's body of work. He has experience with him. It's like there's a million fans out there who would want to do shit for

Barstool, too. You're not going to just let anybody do it. Yeah, but he works for Barstool. He's a Barstool employee. Yeah, I mean, as far as... Basically because of you. If Dave had his way, it wouldn't be the case, so I don't think he wants him doing anything. If Dave had his way, then he

wouldn't be here. I think he's just like, well, that's Kirk's decision. I think it's weird. I think it's strange that he's the guy that he wants. I can't figure this company out. I like it. I like working here, but half the time I'm baffled. I just feel like even today, Dave I like it. I like working here, but half the time I'm baffled. I just feel like

even today, Dave's like, what do you got planned? What do you say about Kobe? Why'd you hire me? Do you have any trust in my body of work? No, I think that makes sense. I think that's a fair confusion on your part. You are who you are.

He does have a little more faith than you. He does not have any faith or does not find Blind Mike funny. That's fine. I don't mind that. But we've been over that where it's like, I don't want to have to go to bat and fight the media for something Blind Mike says, so don't do anything. That's pretty clear.

We got into a fight a couple weeks ago, and I said to him this idea that the media is never going to like us. That particular group of the media is never going to like us. We're never going to win them over. Who gives a shit? Yeah. I mean, like, who? Like, who's going to?

Who? Yeah, but I think it's, as always, it's like if one of us do something, he's willing to have to answer the questions and do the interviews and go through the drama. If he does it, if it's good. I mean, it's like what they always say about Kaepernick, right? Where it's like, well, you don't want that kind of drama for a backup quarterback. It's like, if you're a starter,

you can bring the media circus. Sure, but I don't think the blind mic drama is going to reach the zenith of Kaepernick. But it kind of is because they just say Barstool. They just say Barstool, though. They're not going to say, like, somebody at Barstool. The people who always hate us. So fuck them.

I mean, is there something to that or no? I do think that... I can say fuck them because I don't have to deal with it, but I understand not having to deal with it. I don't think we might be reaching the point where Dave has been fucking answering it for like 10, 12 straight years

and would like to try to minimize it. And that's not like being a pussy or running away from it. Is that kind of how you lose what you were, though? You start giving in, you give in, you give in, and all of a sudden you're...

You know what I mean? I do not think stopping blind Mike from doing stuff is going to change the Barstool culture. I don't disagree with that, but I'm saying when you start doing stuff like that, that becomes your mindset. Maybe I'm overthinking. I think you're overreacting. Well, no, I think about this stuff.

I don't think of it as giving in. I mean, I don't know. I guess it's the definition of giving in. I don't know what it is, the actual definition of giving in. But I'd be like, I just don't want to deal with it. Is Dave going to get arrested at the Super Bowl this year? He would if the Patriots were. He would.

If the Patriots were here. He's not going to try to sneak in this year. Why were you arrested outside Fenway, by the way? By the way, we played that. I thought that was a totally fair criticism. People were tweeting at me, of course. They were like, fucking Feidelberg hates you. He fucking called you out.

I heard it. I was like, that's funny. I did the protesting and I didn't get arrested in front of Fenway Park. I could have got arrested. I didn't. I chose not to. Pussy. You fucking pussy.

I respect the boys in blue. Fucking fuck. I respect the boys in blue. You stupid fucking cunt. And they're also. You talentless fuck. And they're also talking about, like, you know, Dave's like, well, you made things difficult for Karabas at MGM.

The last thing I care about is making things difficult or easy for Jared fucking Karabas to sit there and suck off the Boston Red Sox for a weekend. But that, I guess, is kind of the point. It's like, Dave does have to worry about shit like that.

You don't. Right. So, like, if Blind Mike ever made my life even 1% more, like, annoying or difficult, I'd be like, shut the fuck up.

Would you fire him? I mean, I don't think you can fire people just because you don't like them. What's the line of talent if Barstow were like, so Blind Mike's below that. We're above that. What is the Mendoza line of? Who do you think that means? Who do you think is the last person Dave would defend, and then after that, it's like, no good.

Who is that? Where are we at? That's a fucking tough question. Off the top of my head, I would say KB. If KB got in trouble with a blog, he would have his back. You think he's the newest guy? That he's like, yes, made man kind of. I like him.

But Dave also, like, that's just, I think that's a lot of personal, too. I think Dave likes KB. Like KB, yeah. Yeah, it's definitely like, you know, which way the wind blows with Dave. It's just like, if I like you, I like you. If I don't, I don't. What show did you guys, what's the show today? Is this the show today?

What are you doing? We're going to talk about Feidelberg shitting his pants for a week straight. We're going to do some movie talk. It was so fucking funny. Yeah, I'm fine. It didn't sound funny. He was just a bug. He was like excited to shit his pants.

Somebody talk about it on the show. I shit my pants. I was in spring training with the Red Sox doing the EI six or seven years ago. I went for a run right by the hotel around. It was like a four-mile run. About a mile and a half in, I went for a run right by the hotel around. It was like a four mile run. About a mile and a half in, I was, I could,

it just felt like a typical fart. Oh no. I was like, I can do a sideways sort of, you know what I mean? Yeah. Shart or shit? Fucking explosion.

No. And it was right at Target. I ran to the Target. Like down your pants? It was down, yeah, it was down. Oh no.

Back of the knees? I fucking, I took, oh he's going to puke. So much no. Back of the knees. I took so much shit. I was in Target, so I actually grabbed a fucking pair of underwear, a pair of shorts, and fucking Vaseline. My asshole was all fucking chapped. Oh, all right. Jesus.

It sounds like you did a marathon. You were a mile in. I was a mile and a quarter in. Because you know when you feel like, all right, this morning I did well. I'm like, all right, it sounds like you did a marathon. You were a mile in. I was a mile and a quarter in. Because you know when you feel like, all right, this morning I did well. I'm like, all right, it'll be fine. And I couldn't have been more shocked. Your asshole betrayed you. I didn't know.

Something happened recently where I used to hate burp and fart and poop jokes. And I was shitting my own pants laughing out loud. During this? Yeah. I was sick for two days. Just shitting my own pants laughing out loud. During this? Yeah. I was sick for two days. And I was like, it was one of those things where you just throw your hands up. And you're like, I don't know what to do anymore. I would try to keep the poop in the toilet.

No, I meant with the laughter. Like, it happened again. What are you going to do? I didn't guess you guys would do that. Then you'll try and out-Kobe each other. What's your Kobe thing? I love Kobe more than you do. No, I don't really have a Kobe.

I really did like Kobe Bryant. I'm not a basketball fan, but as far as... The weird thing to me that stuck out yesterday was all of the... Obviously, all the Twitter replies. It's the first time where I think

it's gotten to the point where, like, I feel bad that I didn't say it. Like, I didn't tweet anything. And it's almost like where you get in your own head, you're like, well, fuck, am I an asshole for not, that's how over the top it is, where, like, it tricks you in your own brain. The outpouring of emotions. You're a shithead for not saying it.

Well, it's just got, to me, like, particularly our site, like, I think got out of control. When we changed it. I think changing the Twitter, Abby, was a pretty strange move. A man died. And I feel terrible for his daughter and for his wife and his other kids. A guy died who, to be fair, had a complicated history, to put it kindly. We got it on the podcast today. And the idea that he's like this.

I mean, we have people at barstool like like like tweeting poems yeah yeah let's like you know this is not i tweeted i mean i was i was kind of where feidelberg was you said it was the tweet anything but then i you said it's the worst i think it's the biggest story like the biggest sports death at least of my gen of my lifetime and maybe possibly forever well what was on the i mean what was on the garrig clementee? Well, we didn't throw out Gehrig. I guess Gehrig is up there. Clemente, Herman Munson. I think it's one of those things where –

I don't think any of those guys are on Kobe's level. How did Gehrig die? Was he hit by a car? I was like – I think the suddenness has to count. That's what I mean. The circumstances. It's also the social media part of it too.

Right. And then it was the right timing of it all so i said three things i said that i said um uh the media was kind of covering it wrong when they were like oh abc mentioning his daughters and then when i found out his daughter did die i said this is like more than just sports so those are like the three things that actually i actually had that reaction those were going through my head so i tweeted it i think there was a lot of people trying to tweet things oh my god i mean like i only said things that came to my mind. I mean, like, I get it. That came to my mind.

I get it. Even that, I got in a little bit of hot water. People said I was trying to debate, like, who has the better death. And I was like, well, I mean, I guess you could look at it that way. I was thinking of it more of an homage to his career that, like, this is the biggest death. It's weird. I don't know. I don't like criticizing, like, how people mourn.

Yeah. People do it their own way. But you say that, though. It's not a fucking family member. Yeah, but at the same time, I've weirdly teared up over celebrities who died. I've never wept or anything like that, but I've been like, oh, wow, this is fucking sad.

And then I've lost my best friend and I didn't really cry. And it's like, I don't know how the fuck emotions work. I don't get it. I'm not going to pretend to. You think that when you die, the Twitter reaction will be similar to Kobe? I think it'll be, you know, I never paid somebody $2.5 million in a rape settlement, but I would

say it'll be all the evil things I ever did. Was that the number, $2.5 million? Well, that was the max you could do in Colorado. Oh, because I was going to say that's not enough. Back then, well, I mean, if it, you know, and I believe it happened. Like, I did a lot of, you know, I kind of dug in. Well, I mean, you know, you know, and I believe it happened. Like, I did a lot of, you know, I dug in. It definitely happened, right? Well, I mean, you know, he wasn't convicted, right?

So it was a civil case. But when I die, it's going to be fine. Wait, I'm sorry. Is there any debate that there was money given to him? Oh, that happened. Right. Yeah, I'm sorry. Yeah.

But no, it'll be all the fucking, he's an asshole. He said this. He did that. He got suspended. He was a fucking lunatic. I suppose all the great things have happened. But honestly, I think that's what makes him an interesting, intriguing person. He was complex.

There was ups and downs. So that's the thing. I think you can say he was a really good dad, lived the second half of his life, it seems pretty well, was a great player. And then in that whole thing, there is room to say, well, wait a minute. At least on this one night, he did something I think really bad. I don't know why that can't be part of the story. No, I agree with that. We were talking about it in the car last night. I don't know why that can't be part of the story. No, I agree with that.

We were talking about it in the car last night. I don't think it's one of those, like, this isn't the time to talk about it. No, I think it's... I wouldn't bring it up just because I don't fucking... My thing is... That was something else I said. I did think when... His daughter died yesterday.

Yeah, when his daughter dies, when his other daughters are, like, mourning, and then they have to see these tweets and shit from a bunch of fucking nobodies, that's not the right time. I will say the other side, the ass kissing was very well represented, though. Yeah. So it was balanced. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. It wasn't like everyone was doing just that. What do you think they're going to say when you die? Probably nothing. Just throw me out in the trash. You don't think. Here's the thing. Like, so you've been.

How long have you been at Barstool for? Ten years. Nine years. Forever. Right. Ten. Ten years. When you die, let's say you died today in a helicopter crash, or you,

Barstool would not change the avatar to you. No. Dave, I don't think Dave would mention me on the rundown. No. I think he'd be like, after the show, what else did we get? Oh, yeah, I mean, KLC died. Literally, they would not. Changing the avatar to me was when I said that.

That was bizarre. I don't want to say Kate McKinnon-ish, but I think it was. I still want to know who made that call. Who is that? Who makes that call? I don't want to say Kate McKinnon-ish. I still want to know who made that call. Who is that? Who makes that call? I don't know. I meant to bring it up on the rundown to see if it was Dave. If I had to guess, what did you say?

I meant to bring it up on the rundown to see if it was a Dave call. I would guess it's Dave. Yeah. He was very into the, you know, tweeted the quote, and he was very affected by it. I mean, that's definitely, I would imagine that's not a low level thing so it's whoever the highest person on social team is i also think that they needed to change it back from the promo for rough and rowdy so it was maybe like we got to change the avatar anyway let's just do a little pit stop here for kobe i don't know it was it was a strange 24 hours it's it's it's

a wild move there's no doubt about that it's what the hell? And it was one of those things, too, where it's like, if it was one of those, like, fucking Charlie Hebdo, whatever the times were when everyone was changing their avatar. No one else has changed their avatar. Nobody was doing it. That's true. I never thought of it that way. That's a good point. Yeah, when everyone changes out the rainbow for gay pride. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

A lot of times in history. If it was like a trend and like nobody else was. A popular Twitter account was staying with trends, I get it. It hasn't happened anywhere else. Speaking of popular, the Greg Hill Show, pretty popular. Pretty good ratings. They did well, yeah. Were you surprised by that? I mean, this amateur bullshit.

You and I are done professionally. Why? It's a Christian Bale quote for being an amateur. Anyway. Were you surprised by those ratings? No, I think it was the fall book. Do you think that you maybe contributed to that by talking about it

incessantly? Yeah, probably, but I don't care. I mean, I think you do care. Come on. You wanted that number to be low. That shows my grandkid.

The show that replaced me, Mutt and Jerry, fell like 50, 60 percent and Jerry got fired and Mutt got moved. That, to me, was my fault. But, I mean, when that Greg Hill show started,

you were playing audio of it and it was terrible. Does this sound good to you? I mean, I haven't listened to it, but I'm just saying you wanted that it was terrible. Does this sound good to you? I mean, I don't, I don't, I haven't listened to it, but I'm just saying, you wanted that show to not be good. Well, I think it will. I think in six months, we can have this conversation. What do you, you know, Well, that's why I'm wondering if you think that it was

just the Kirk Minahan effect, or if you think this guy's going to do, I mean, he's not doing the ratings. He did a 13, correct? Uh, 15. Nah, I believe it was a 13. Well, I'm happy to send you the information. I have it on my fingertips. I've seen Kirk look really happy twice this show. Once was when he said he shaved his pants, and the other was when he looked at me and raised his eyebrows 15.

I would like to know whether that's the Kirk effect or if Greg Hill is just doing numbers. I think he's probably doing fine. I don't know. How much money do you think a guy like that's making? You know what's funny about Greg Hill? I'll give you another story. This is a few contracts ago.

I was renegotiating a contract with the VP at the station, and I went in the office, and he went out and Greg Hill's contract was right there. Sitting there? Sitting there, so I read it. It was not a lot. Really? Not a lot. So I read it. You can't believe in personal... Well, that's not my fault, right?

No, no. I mean, to leave very sensitive information around when Kirk Minahan's lurking, that's a bad idea. The big, big, big... Kirk, you didn't see my contract. I did. Oh, my God. Kirk would pass the lurking. Like, that's a bad idea. The big, big, big money. Kirk, you didn't see my contract. I did. Oh, my God. Kirk would pass the fuck out. I think that's one of Kirk's favorite things to talk about.

Yeah. I haven't given you shit for being a bad businessman once today. I know. That's true. I had to do it. I had to be like, hey, remember? Remember? You hate me.

You hate my contract negotiations. Ironically, it was because of a show at the Wilbur. That's what you were there for. Yeah. Yeah, that's true. I guess it's not that ironic. But do you have an actual contract? I do have an actual contract. How many years

before? This is last year. So you have a year left. Yes. So when do you start negotiating? Dave suggested soon. Oh, that's good. Would you have any leverage? Probably not. Good. I like that attitude going in. I mean, even if he

did, he would not use it. You wouldn't leave ever? No, I've said that on a million shows. Would you know? Would I use leverage? Would you leave? I mean, I'm not up for a couple more years. I'm just saying.

Say your contract ended in March or something. Or whatever, June. And you're like, nah. I don't have a family, and I don't really intend on having one. And I make enough money to live, and I like this. So that's pretty much it. I've seen your bed, yeah. We're going to have to legitimately cut this for your own goddamn negotiations.

You're doubling down on being the worst. Yeah, whatever. Have you heard, very famously, I don't know if you actually said this in negotiations or you thought it, but their question was, how low would you go? And you said, half of what I'm currently being paid. You could give me a pay cut and I would take it. Yeah, but it just costs a living where you live now, though. You couldn't do that. What's that?

It just costs a living, though, for you now. Dude, I live in a fucking flop house. Me and my roommates have it. I have multiple roommates. Our ages combined Over 100 years old I live in a repurposed living room I'm a simple man

His room is cut off Of the living room So when you flip the light on He can't control his own lights If someone in the living room wants to turn on or off the light It affects his room Why are you doing this? I don't know.

It doesn't make any sense. Because he's lazy. I think I actually looked up what people... I think it was like your living expenses or your housing expenses should be... XYZ of your... Oh, give what you're making? Like 25% of what you're making a year, right? That's probably right, yeah.

I spend like one seventeenth of my salary. Are you saving it? Yeah. That's good. Yeah. That's good. Get out early? Retire? Live on the water? That's the way to do it. I always wonder that. Nobody ever leaves.

So I want to see it through and I want to cash out my equity and if that were to happen and if I were to maybe get an offer somewhere I wanted to land the problem is there's no anybody else. If there was like several other barstools i think we'd be able to like you know maybe explore it but it's like do i want to go somewhere where they're going to censor what i say and not give me freedom of speech and all that shit you know

one could argue that's going on here but yeah it's fine one could make that argument it would be a very a very it'd be a stretch. So you're staying? That's a big addition. Are you on contract? Yeah. How long? Two years. It'll be like year to year.

Two years. I don't fucking know. Two year deal. I don't know your business. To me, I think they'd get out of it today if they could, though. They're sick of you? Yeah, if we do this one over, life's easier without this fucking interview. Yeah, I mean, at any point, do you plan on changing? Changing how?

Like not being a pain in the ass everywhere you go? No. Well, I mean. Like at some point you got to get sick of it too, no? I've enjoyed. But I enjoy. You enjoy it. That's fine.

You love the chaos. I also enjoy. Such a fucking asshole. I also enjoy this place. I like most of the people here. What? Like I like Barstow. I haven't.

You like like three people here. Like you guys? You know like five people. You like three people. But I like that they do. Literally, they have never edited a word I've said in the podcast ever. Yeah, that'll never happen. It helps that they also don't listen to it.

Right. They don't know shit about it. That's a wonderful thing. But you guys are king of like, I don't need any promotion. I'm on the island. I don't. But then when someone else gets promotion, you guys are like, this is fucking bullshit. But that's funny.

Yeah, you guys are like, you guys are the king of the girlfriend who's like, leave me alone. Leave me alone. Why aren't you paying attention? Yes. Give me the tip. All the time you're complaining about like, leave me alone, leave me alone, why aren't you paying attention? Yes. Give me the tip. All the time you're complaining about you didn't get invited to things. When have I ever been invited to what? What was the tweet today?

What was the tweet today? You're not on the fucking mural. That's a joke. You think I care about the mural? But that's the thing. You are joking. I think the people tweeting it do. Yeah, your fans and your co-hosts believe it all.

Yeah, but sometimes they're legitimately mad. I don't care about the fans. I think the person sending that co-hosts believe it all. Yeah, but I don't know if I'm legitimately mad. I don't know if I'm taking care of the fans. I think the person sending that tweet does. I sent the tweet. You sent the tweet for the MidFans show? You run the Minahan show account? Oh, I thought you meant the picture of me on the thing. No, the Minahan show account had something about it, where it's like, oh, Kirk. Oh, my show? Yeah. Oh, I don't know. Yeah.

So I think the person sending that tweet does care. Stephen Blind Mike really believes it. I have never. You can ask Dave. I have never. No, I don't think you need this shit. Have you ever had a conversation with them being like, you know, I'm just like busting balls and joking, right? Like they take it dead ass with Steve and Mike. No, because sometimes I'm not. What the fuck? Well, I mean, sometimes I'm like, what do you want?

Sometimes I'm legitimately mad that sometimes we're just dicking around. Yep. You're an asshole. You just talk out of both sides of your mouth. Like whatever fits. Whatever fits the story. It's not true. Like you said, hour to hour. Well, that tweet was four hours, whatever fits. Whatever fits the story. It's not true. It's not true. Like you said, hour to hour.

Well, that tweet was four hours ago. I don't mean that anymore. That's not true. Get the fuck out of here. Fine, I'm going to go eat some lunch and then do radio or whatever. I can't wait for the awkwardness of your radio show. No, it's going to be brutal. Look at what you see in her face.

The mirror of your dreams Make believe I'm everywhere Give it in the light Written on the pages is The answer to a never-ending story I've reached the stars My fantasy Dream a dream And what you see will be

Sun and candle, secrets real I'm pulled kindred, a sacred spirit I'm both behind the clouds And there upon a rainbow is The answer to a never-ending story Story Soaring high