KFC Radio - The Disney Boys Prove that Barstool Sports is Not Scripted Ft. Chael Sonnen
Episode Date: March 9, 2023- This podcast is slowly killing us all - Is Feits' har too long? - Feits' dumb question about cooking raw meat - Disney Boys leads to a twitter discussion about whether Barstool is scripted or not - ...Girls dancing on Tik Tok in sheer dresses - KFC saw fat Joe last night - AITA - Video Voicemails - Chael Sonnen Interview ++++++++++++++++++++++ Timecodes: 00:00:00 Start 00:02:36 This podcast is slowly killing us all 00:08:35 Is Feits' har too long? 00:22:00 Feits' dumb question about cooking raw meat 00:33:05 Disney Boys twitter discussion 00:43:11 Girls dancing on Tik Tok in sheer dresses 00:55:42 KFC saw fat Joe last night 01:05:55 AITA 01:26:43 Video Voicemails 01:55:38 Chael Sonnen Interview ++++++++++++++++++++++ Sportsbook: Must be 21+ Gambling Problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER Pirate Water: Go to drinkpiratewater.com to find pirate water in a location near youYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr
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You are foul, mother-----.
Foul.
Ugh.
I wouldn't be surprised if we lost sponsors for that. All right, KFC Radio Live is going back on the road.
If you are in Texas, in the Austin or Dallas areas. Houston as well.
Dallas, Austin
and Houston, we're coming your way. Also
Boston and Connecticut. So our April
dates, it goes Dallas, Houston
Austin, I believe. April 26th, 27th
29th. No, it goes Houston
Dallas, Austin. Okay, so check
out our link. You'll see we're at the Improv
we're at the Moon Tower and then
April, May
12th is the
Wilbur. We're back in Boston. I think that's
like almost sold out. There's like 50
tickets left. So get your last tickets to that.
We're only doing
one show! One show!
One show at the Wilbur. And then
I think the 14th, we're in Stanford, Connecticut.
So check out
at KFC Radio Twitter, at KFC Radio Instagram.
You will find our links to our tickets.
Please come. It's fun. It is fun.
It's a good show. It's genuinely a good show.
I think it's a good show now. We figured out the formula.
Not now. I always think it's been a good show.
I think it's a really good show. We've also figured out how to
go on the road and build the show
after a couple days. And then I think
we're going to be announcing sooner rather than later
we're doing like a Pittsburgh, Milwaukeeburgh milwaukee ohio type swing uh we're probably gonna do like a dc area so buffalo
toronto area that's gonna be cool yeah so we're coming to a city near you and all stops along this
tour are sponsored by pirate water which is now uh everywhere we go is starting to pop up.
It's very cool.
I was just at my local market the other day, and it was just there.
And I was like, oh, this is actually kind of fucking dope.
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I hear it's in Walmart.
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So join us for the show and join
us for some Pirate Water. It's another edition
of KFC Radio on the Barstool Sports Network.
It's Feidelberg and Clancy.
Hello!
Maybe this show is slowly killing all of us oh
you know why is that i mean it's obviously taking its toll on us yeah jackie got vertigo
she apparently couldn't open her eyes for 24 hours i do not mention something that to us
i mean talking to the mic.
I don't know.
I just dealt with it.
Like, it was just... What a fucking soldier.
I'm over here.
I'm like,
let's open the show.
I've got a hangnail.
Jackie's got vertigo for a year,
for a day.
No, like, this happens, like,
whenever I'm just, like,
exhausted and my body's like...
No more. I slow down like i will
and so i like had a feeling it was gonna come because i was like so tired like in the week
before and then all of a sudden like once it hits then it's like i it's like the most it's not
painful because it's just like dizzy and nauseous but it's like the most like uncomfortable so like i have to like literally lay down dark room if i open like i had to go home i was a cat
sitting for friends i had like go to her apartment so i would just stayed here went home or went
there threw up like everywhere like it's like the most like uncomfortable it's like but it's but
it's not just not it's okay so there's something about balance and shit it's like dizzy so i like when i was like here and like i i ran into like a
wall like it was like i've never like been that dizzy where it was like ran to a wall like like
fucking wiley coyote it was like yeah it was like well usually you're such a clutch that would have
been like there goes jack again running into the wall i didn't run into a wall but like i like
fell into it like i like had to put my hand there. Did you guys see it?
No, but we did a little expenses party because we were trying to be adults on Friday.
I never did any of my expenses.
Not today.
It's so easy.
My God, I didn't even know.
It's so easy.
I keep hearing that.
I know it's easy, and it's not easy enough.
It just is not easy enough.
I've done it before. I've done it before.
I've done it like probably
I think we get our cell phone bill paid probably
three out of 12 months a year. I will do my phone bill.
Same.
I wonder how much money Barstool has saved off of me
not doing expenses.
Probably a full year salary.
In the last three months. Ten grand?
Yeah. Like over the years I don't think I've
expensed like anything.
I pay $160 a month for the 3D software that I Three months. Ten grand? Yeah. Like over the years, I don't think I've expensed like anything. Not nothing.
I pay $160 a month for the 3D software that I use, and I've expensed it twice.
Yeah.
And I've had it for three years.
But yeah, we were just sitting here, and she just like got up and was like, I have vertigo
and like stumbled out of the room and then was laying in the green room for like two
hours.
Okay.
Well, first of all, first of all,
if you need time off or you need a break,
I don't need you passing out and dying.
No,
no,
no.
I mean,
it's all right.
This is not me being like,
Oh,
I got to take care of Jackie.
It's like,
I don't need any fucking employees dying on my watch.
So I'm thinking about my goddamn self.
Take some time off.
No,
I know.
But it's also,
it's like,
it's like,
I just realized
I
Tuesday's kind of the only night
Where I get a decent night's sleep
That's because
Thursday, Friday, Saturday
I'm also being
Monday, Wednesday
I'm editing
But Thursday, Friday, Saturday
I'll be social
And I'll
There's always somebody
So it's just like
I just have to reel it back
I'll be social
No no no
Yeah I like to get social On Thursday, Friday, and Saturday.
Dude, I was so social last night.
No, no, no.
I must have drank 10 socials.
I'm not saying I'm going out and getting drunk Thursday, Friday, Saturday.
It's because Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, there's just always something.
Something always pops up where it's just like, yes, man,
I need real back. I'm sick. It's on
me.
I very strongly get that.
I have a
difficult time saying no to people. That's why I'll be at brunch
with my aunts on Sunday.
I get that.
I swear to God, nobody
in this world
does more with their aunt
than John Foy
I have like
seven of them
that's even crazier
so you hang out
with all of them
yeah
whenever people
are in town
I'm gonna hang out
with my uncle
on Friday too
not once
have I hung out with
I actually have
a set of like
second uncle
or some shit
second cousin parents
that I've hung out
with them
but the real
aunt and uncle dude they are they didn't even like ask and like and they're all old too so they're
all kind of losing their minds and it's it's it's a lot i mean i've had i've had i have rich i have
very rich aunt and uncles who will be like well they're like you want to come to our house in
the hamptons you want to come to our house in jersey you want to come to our house in the Hamptons you want to come to our house in Jersey you want to come to our houses in Florida and I'm just like oh see I'd do that I would very much yeah
I have like crazy answer dude why I always do like like brunch at a Broadway show yeah crazy
that's this is they're they're going I did not get the invite to the Broadway show this time
they're just going to brunch but I'm just going to brunch um but dude I had a different night when
I was at the christening last weekend who I went to say goodbye to her and she was sitting down at like the brunch
afterwards and she just went like this just put her head down like to kiss her hair what i and i
i didn't i was like i'm not gonna do that so i'll just see you later then i went to go say like like but like a king or queen will be like like this kiss the rings what and and it wasn't a bow it was like kiss my four kiss the
top of my head it was yeah and i didn't i moved on so what did so did she just go like give it
like a like a three second violation and then just put her head back up i went to a different table
i don't even know she might still be there the i went to a different table. I don't even know. She might still be there.
I went to a different table to say goodbye to my cousin, who's a child.
And I went to give him knuckles.
And he stabbed me with a fork.
I was like, I'm getting the fuck out of here.
This is it.
I'm done with this.
Good fucking bye.
That's some wacky shit, dude.
The Benjamin Franklin hair is, or George Washington hair is almost here.
I don't even know what the new
It's here. This is the longest I've ever had.
Is it really? Okay.
Do you have a hair tie?
This is not as long
as Pandemic. I think Pandemic was even longer.
I think, no, actually pre-Pandemic
you had some going.
I don't know, but maybe it's growing slower.
It is the longest I've ever been without a haircut.
You go on Twitter and type in fight Chris.
Even pandemic.
Huh?
Even pandemic.
I believe so.
I don't think I've ever gone a full year without a haircut.
I'm now at a full year.
So you got a haircut between like March of 19 and-
Did you straighten it?
March of 20?
I didn't straighten it.
Okay, so while we're still talking about the Christmas, what I did- You did something close to straight of 20. I didn't straighten it. So, okay. So, while we're still talking about the christening, what I did was you did something close to
straightening it.
I didn't straighten it, but.
While I, so I don't know how I, so when I, again, christening, this will be the last
time I mention the christening.
This goddamn christening.
I was home and my sister has one of those like Revlon rollers or whatever.
And my mom's blow dryer sucks.
So, I just use that to dry my hair.
And my hair looks fire.
It looked really good.
Like, people, like, I had people.
Those are weird.
Like, your hair gets, like, flowy and fluffy for some reason.
I don't know why.
And people were, like, people, like, strangers.
Like, in line for fucking body of Christ.
Like, women are, like, I killed that ass.
What did you do with it?
Like, it's like this now?
I just did the Revlon roll over thing.
I don't know.
But you didn't comb.
You just let it, like, kind of go like this like and then and then so obviously i fucking
amazon prime one immediately yeah and well listen i'm more of a dyson air rap kind of guy but either
of those companies feel free to send these things our way and and i've used it yesterday and i
showed you pictures of yesterday of me on the rundown and Is it better today? Because I did the same thing today.
I wanted you to be able to see it.
I felt like I deprived you of getting to see it.
The pose
or like the
hair in the rundown
that one
still shot, it looks like
a toupee almost.
It's like a...
You don't have it pulled back at all. It's like
flowing across half your forehead.
Send that to Paz.
That screenshot. Did you ever take a screenshot of it
or did you just pause the video? No, no. I did a screenshot of it.
Yeah. Because that you looked a little
like... How do I do this, Jackie?
You put it around your wrist
and then you pull it like through
your wrist.
On your wrist.
Yeah. I've never had my hair like through your wrist. Have it on your wrist. Yeah.
I've never had my hair like in a point.
I don't know if I, is my hair long enough to do this?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It'll be a tiny one, but then.
So now pull like from your wrist over your other hand.
Yep.
All the way through.
And then it'll catch on the hair.
I want to pay you $15 for a drink right now.
Do like twist an X, you know what I mean?
And then pull it back over your hair the other way.
But then it's not tight enough.
Let me do it for you.
Yeah.
This is some girl dad shit.
Yeah, for real.
You got to get new hair ties, girl.
I know, I know.
That's just like a mask strap that's on your hair.
This might not be.
Wait, you gave John a mask strap?
Yeah.
What's a mask strap? Like. What's a mask strap?
Like a strap to a mask.
What?
There's no elasticity to this.
I'd want to give you my good hair, man.
What do you do?
Would you just give me a string?
Yeah, just basically I'm tying it with hair.
And that's as good as that thing is going to do it.
What's up, Jack Mac?
I don't know what's going on with that guy's hair.
That shit is wild.
Is it?
Um, you know what?
I mean, as always with this fucking guy, it's like you probably could pull it off a little.
All right.
I'll be a ponytail guy.
Right now you have a ponytail, but like some's down a little bit.
So that's why I called you Jack Mac.
I need someone to come up.
Because that's a fucking crazy way to wear your hair, Jack.
But if you could do like a full ponytail almost but look so pause you look like some movie character and i can't you know what it is it's um it's from yes the bad guy in
goodwill oh oh that too that too but no what i'm thinking of is, I think it's one of two things.
It's either something Dickie Child Star.
Remember that movie?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I think it was David Spade.
Nick Swardson, I thought.
Nick Swardson.
He kind of had, I think, his hair ironed down like that. I i don't remember i know the movie but i don't remember like what people look like
or i want to say one of the amish guys from oh i could see kingpin i could see yeah yes i'm trying
to google that but kingpin is like it's bringing up like daredevil the the comic book it's one of
those things like i clearly i very clearly need haircut. And the more obviously I need a haircut, the less I want a haircut.
You totally get pushed.
Like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's Randy Quaid, I think.
It's this guy from Kingpin.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Randy Quaid in Kingpin is very like flat iron down, bowl cut.
That part's not, the bowl cut's not there.
But when you had it like coming down
across your forehead
yeah yeah yeah yeah
yeah yeah
that's a good one
that's where we're going
that's where we're going
yup
that's exactly
what I had in mind
um
um
what a great movie
that was by the way
is that the Cullen Brothers
or the Farrelly Brothers
there's the
uh
I think Farrelly
oh Farrelly
uh no no no
cause everything Farrelly does is a set in New England you know what I learned recently um and I this is oh it is Farrelly Brothers. There's the, I think Farrelly. Farrelly. No, no, no, because everything Farrelly does is a set in New England.
You know what I learned recently?
Oh, it is Farrelly.
Okay.
The Coen Brothers.
I just learned this recently about The Big Lebowski.
If you're a diehard, I think The Big Lebowski is like the best comedy.
Maybe it's like your favorite movie, but I think it's like the best comedy maybe ever.
I've only seen it once, and I saw it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You got to watch it. So, I got to see that. I got to see it. I was going to watch Heat last night, but we had the De the best comedy maybe ever. I've only seen it once, and I saw it in a hotel room.
I was going to watch Heat last night, but we had
the DeStefano thing that went too long.
But the scene in this, it's Woody
Howson when he goes, they're just sitting at the bar, he goes,
Who you calling a psycho? Me and my friends
went through like a half a decade
every time we were sitting at the bar.
Who you calling a psycho?
The, uh,
I guess if you're like a big diehard Lebowski fan,
this is well known,
but the dude like never has an original thought.
Everything is repeated.
He repeats everything he hears.
From in the movie?
From the movie.
That makes sense.
That's pretty much the future.
Yeah. He's just like, like you know someone will be like uh uh you know like the revolution is over
the the bums won uh the bums will not win lebowski and then he turns to donnie like later that scene
and he's like you know dude like you know man the revolution the bums lost it's over whatever it is
he repeats like there's a there's a super cut of it where it's the entire movie.
And that means something, I guess.
Or it's just a funny thing that the Coen brothers did.
It's so well written in that sense that I think it is rewatchable on a very deep level.
It's very funny to rewatch, but I think if you start looking at shit like that, it's the best.
Have you guys heard how
over the top they are with
this is what we wrote, say it
verbatim. The Coen Brothers? I heard they
script down to the uh and the um
and the pauses and shit.
We ain't improv-ing. Everything means
something. I think there was even something about
Walter is a vet,
like a veteran, and then there's
a corvette that he calls the vet and there's like some there's like double layers there i think it's
like deep shit that that is more funny than you realize star no brother where are the george
clooney uh clooney said during that movie uh he wanted to get the dialect right so we sent it to like an uncle that is actually from
that region and had him record it all and then listen to it back and the only thing the it was
like a while into filming the coen brothers are like why do you keep saying darn instead of damn
and it's because his uncle is so like hardcore religious he wouldn't say he would say darn and
said and but they liked it and they left it in for most of them.
That's where you get deep. It's kind of like
you probably don't need to, but it makes it awesome.
It's like making fucking videos.
I did a video the other day on the
Vanderpump Rules scandal.
Tom Scandaval, great nickname for a
villain involved in a scandal.
I had to cram so much
in. I thought Pabst
sped it up. i couldn't believe how fast the word
you know because pavs does the one word popping up it was going so fast and i thought my voice
i could see my lips going so fast and look at that doesn't look like it's doesn't that look
like it's fast forward yeah i had to ask him if he sped it up and it was just
like nope and so the um it doesn't actually end up feeling that fast i think it does yeah
i um uh comments by celebs posted it they have a thing called comments by bravo it's like for
only bravo and i was getting your woman yeah well they posted so somebody else in the in the vanderpump universe commented an inside joke it
was a guy named rob and he said something about that guy should have posted a tv in under seven
minutes a very clear deep cut from the vanderpump world or some shit and some people were commenting
that so they posted it but in the comments beneath you were shredding me people were just crushing me what because uh the one girl was like um is this like do they speed this up like he's talking so
fast super annoying lol and i commented the only time i've ever commented on a comment i wrote back
like you try to explain this whole shit show in under 60 seconds you bitch and uh instagram said
like are you sure you want to post that or do you want to edit that and i was like i'll edit it like i don't want to go to jail i'll fucking edit it um i don't even
know why this ended up coming up but um oh i was gonna say uh when i make these fucking tiktoks and
i make these videos i try to cram in absolutely as much information as i possibly can and do it
like as good as i can and you really
don't need to you just you just can put up something behind you and be like here's the
scandal that happened yeah and point to it and you get the same amount of views the same way like i
think you can make these comedies where it's like yeah that was funny or you can get fucking like
deep with it and have all sorts of double meanings and double entendres like it's like um that rest
of development's like funny and then you go deep and it's like this is brilliant yeah i, it's like, um, that rest of development's like funny. And then you go deep and it's like, this is brilliant.
Yeah.
I think it's the same thing with those guys.
Uh, anyway, back to your hair.
Crazy.
Ridiculous.
I mean, just madness.
But you do, you can't wear like that again.
That was nuts.
That was crazy.
Was that like hat head or was that like, no, I did not wear it.
So you like combed it and then it just like, I used the fucking Revlon thing.
Oh, right.
I used the Revlon roller and then I just fucking came to work and then i don't know i walked around i didn't look in a
mirror i guess i walked around thinking it's totally normal and then that video came out and
i was like really like where did people like notice and comment were they like what the fuck
is this or they don't care nick tyranny said he said you change looks so easily yeah which is
almost like uh i feel like that's kind of
like the passive aggressive, like, I love how you look good and don't even try.
Yeah, right, right, right, right.
I love that you don't even wear makeup.
I took it as a compliment when he said it, and then I saw the video, and I was like,
I think he was being mean.
But yeah, I mean, listen, we said, you said to me last time that it got long, you're like,
why didn't anybody tell me? Yeah. I'm here to tell you it's long. I'm not here last time that it got long. You're like, why didn't anybody tell me?
I'm here to tell you it's long.
I'm not here to tell you it's bad.
Last time we said you looked like Jackson Maine.
And it did not look like Jackson Maine.
Now we're saying you look like the Amish guy from Kingpin.
So we're more on the right level.
So this time what we're saying, you actually look better than.
Last time we said you were here and you were down here.
This time we're saying you look like you're here, but you're actually kind of up here.
It's a cool.
I'll take that.
You can pull this shit off somehow.
And I think also I'm scared to go get it cut because one, Erica Fleischman is going to yell at me.
And two, I'm going to ask her to just shave it.
And she's going to get mad at me for that.
I don't think I've ever seen her shave somebody.
No.
I mean, you'd be insane to go to a high-end salon and pay money to have them just go buzz it.
But, like, it would be a great video.
I'm going to film.
No matter what, I'm going to film myself asking her, Erica, you can't hear this.
I'm going to film, like, Erica, can you just shave it?
I don't even think.
I'm also going to ask.
I don't think they could.
The clippers they have are like the little one for like your neck and shit.
I don't think it can do heavy duty.
I'll go buy one at Duane Reade.
Can you just shave it?
I will.
First of all, I will interrogate her and be like, everything's good, right?
Like if we shave this, we're going to look normal.
Oh, but you know she's going to say no.
She'll lie.
And guess what?
You have a lumpy head, and your hair's not going to grow back.
All she has to do to me is lie, and I will be like, okay, fine, we're not shaving it.
The one thing I remember I was talking about for like a bit for the math,
I was talking about bleaching my hair.
She was like, if you do that, it'll never grow back.
And I was like, end of that joke.
And I never even got off the ground.
My hairline's falling, right?
Like, I'm all set.
Like, it's not going to look ridiculous.
I don't know why hair wouldn't grow back.
It's not like you're fucking with the foul.
Well, I was saying that to my mom.
If you, like, rip it out, maybe it wouldn't come back.
But just cutting it is like.
As far as my hair knows, it has no idea how long it is.
That's what I mean.
Like, it's still in the fucking.
Your hair is so dumb.
Your fucking hair doesn't even know how long it is.
It has no idea. It's just fucking. But maybe. By the way, speaking of dumb, I don't think my question was so dumb. Your fucking hair doesn't even know how long it is. It has no idea.
By the way, speaking of dumb,
I don't think my question was that dumb.
Let's talk about it.
I've been waiting for this.
You're discovering new ways to get food poisoning.
It's ridiculous.
This is the dumbest thing you've ever said.
It is. Now here's the deal.
John tweeted out,
if you were to just hold your food in your mouth for a long enough time, would it cook the food?
I think you specifically said meat or food.
I didn't say meat because I didn't want everyone going, ah, dick's in your mouth.
So I said raw food.
Oh, okay.
Yes, I was implied.
You were thinking meat, right?
I was referring to raw food.
Yes, yes.
Bro, and then I said this is the dumbest thing you've ever sent.
And then you sent back the internal temperature of your butt.
I didn't know if your butt was hotter than your mouth.
I Googled it.
Turns out it's not.
Same temperature.
So you got butt heat and you got mouth heat.
Yeah, because they take your temperature in your mouth or up your ass.
Yeah, I got two oven kitchens.
And I think there's a little bit.
I got two oven kitchens.
I got two oven kitchens.
I wanted to see if the bottom was hotter than the top.
I didn't know.
Once I read it, I was like, oh, that's right.
Your internal body temperature is the same everywhere.
But I was like, maybe your butt gets hotter.
I think your asshole is a little bit hotter.
I think you get a more accurate up your ass than in your mouth.
The screenshot I sent said it runs between 97 and 100.
All I know about your mouth is it's 98.2 degrees inside your mouth.
98.6 degrees.
Six degrees, yeah.
Now, let me ask you this.
What food have you ever cooked at 98 degrees?
None.
Shout out Nick Lachey.
None, but I've never, I've also never, is that why it's called 98 degrees?
I don't know.
Internal body temperature?
Maybe.
Gotta be, right?
What else is 98 degrees?
I think.6 is too wordy.
Yeah, 98.6 degrees would be crazy.
Not scientists.
What if they did Kelvin?
We're like, 14 degrees Kelvin.
That would be a good Bizarro World
where there's some Celsius group.
They're like, 32 degrees Celsius.
Celsius assholes.
Celsius, I hate to admit it, though.
It makes a lot more sense.
No, it doesn't.
Zero to 100.
No, that's Fahrenheit.
No.
No.
Fahrenheit makes no sense.
Fahrenheit makes the most sense.
32 degrees is freezing.
Makes no sense.
98.6 is our body.
212 is.
It's not.
Wait, dude.
Fahrenheit makes way more sense.
Why?
Because it's like a test.
No, you're thinking of Celsius.
Are you just referring to weather?
No.
Yeah.
Celsius is...
Yeah, I'm referring to weather.
Obviously.
Celsius is...
We're talking about everything else.
But no, but also...
I'm talking weather.
If we're talking Fahrenheit and Celsius, I think weather.
Oh, okay.
Fahrenheit makes the most sense.
I was thinking of more like...
If you got a zero on a test, it's super cold. If you got a zero on a test, it's super cold.
You got 100 on test.
Super hot.
That's Celsius.
No, that's Fahrenheit.
Celsius is like 30 degrees hot.
No.
Oh, a hundred is boiling.
Zero is freezing and a hundred is boiling.
That's what I was thinking of.
I think it makes a lot of sense in scientific terms.
Fuck science.
I actually am back on your side now
because i think if you're imagine if you're doing fucking uh science right chemistry and it's like
how hot do you need something to boil and it's like 212 degrees versus like it needs to be 100
to turn the only time i ever talk about temperatures is that weather outside right so that's
a lot because fahrenheit makes a lot more sense. The Fahrenheit makes a lot more sense. But you can understand, if you were doing science, it's like, it freezes at zero, it boils at 100.
That's a good thing.
Guess what?
I'm a majority guy.
Yeah, what does that mean?
More people aren't scientists than are scientists.
Because the problem with Celsius is the range, right?
It's almost like-
Like four degrees in Celsius is one degree in Fahrenheit.
Yeah, that's a problem.
It's like a big window for what one degree is.
And that makes a huge difference.
Yes, totally.
When I was home, I don't have control of my fucking apartment here,
but when I was home, it was like 66.
68 was too hot.
Totally.
66 was...
So you need to have down to like half degrees the ability to move fahrenheit
yeah yeah yeah fahrenheit i think it's one of those things along with the what do they call
it the content the colonial system or the continental system imperial imperial because
it was like fuck britain fuck fuck the uk fuck the the monarchy like we're making up our own
thing that's why but like inches and all that shit is stupid 12 instead of 10 that's crazy that yeah okay like centimeters there's 10 centimeters 100 centimeters
millimeters they all you know thousand it all is is zeros the the the inches for us is banana town
um like 12 inches and a foot it's like why didn't you make that 10 i think it was the the urban
legend i've heard it was the size of the king's foot
I thought it was the whole thing was that
they were bucking the king
like they were like bucking the trend of like we're not doing
what the king does
but maybe not because we're dumb
why are we talking about this?
oh my butt
now this is all to get back to say
like you know
that you cook with fire and really hot ovens and electric stoves and stuff that are exceedingly warmer than 98 degrees.
Yes.
Look, here's the deal.
I get it now.
It's been explained very well.
But that's scary.
Bailey Carlin actually explained it the best.
He's like, what you're thinking is if it was 100 degrees outside, we would be cooking.
Okay, shout out to Bailey.
I see stomach acid.
What are you talking about?
Stomach acid.
Talk to the mic.
When you're breathing, you know how acid cooks raw fish?
Yes, the VJ.
Lemon.
You put it in lemon juice and it cooks it.
So you have stomach acid that's coming up when you breathe.
I can see that cooking it.
It's so great how dumb both of you are.
What are you talking about?
Lemon, by the way, does not cook fish.
This is a connected.
It's lime, I think.
I'm not sure lemon is the same thing.
But it's almost like a sushi thing, right?
Where it's like it's considered cooked.
It's cooked.
It's considered cooked.
Okay. Okay. No, it's considered cooked. It's cooked. It's considered cooked. Okay.
Okay.
No, it's like cooked.
But it's like the acidity is what's cooking it, not just the juice.
Right.
Isn't that more like it's getting rid of...
It's almost like sushi.
You're like...
The way they cut it and all that shit is like it's getting rid of the bacteria or making
it safe.
But you wouldn't say it's cooking it.
But it's not sushi.
Sushi's raw fish.
I'm saying like...
I'm just using it as a comparison.
I think ceviche is considered food.
Somebody Google this.
But like, I get it.
I'm not so dumb that I'm sticking by my beliefs.
But no, this is the problem.
And like I said, shout out to Bailey.
First of all, shout out to Stephen A. Smith as a client.
Yeah.
Monster.
And also shout out to him for, you know, he's a teacher talking to dumb kids and he broke it down for you.
It's the fact that you needed an explanation.
That's scary.
But I know.
That you thought that 98 degrees was hot enough to cook food.
But when you cook something on a low heat, it just takes longer.
So I'm cooking it on a low heat.
Like, you can cook things on low heat, it just takes longer. So I'm cooking it on a low heat. You can cook things on low heat.
The knobs on a stove have low.
You can cook on low.
I don't know if you...
You left the steak on 98 degrees
I think forever. I don't know if it will get there.
It would never get hotter than 98 degrees, which now I get.
Would noodles soften up over time?
No, because you need boiling.
Oh, I mean if if you had like natural, like real pasta.
Oh, no.
I mean, like the hard pasta.
I don't think you could ever get.
No, you can't get a pot to boil unless it hits boiling.
Yeah.
Like, it's not like 98 grows.
Now it's been there for an hour, so now it's 99.
I could cook an al dente meal in my mouth.
We were referring directly to meat, but I could cook al dente pasta.
Let's see.
The acids will then quote-unquote cook them.
However, we don't recommend using bottled lime.
What's it called when you cook fish in a little lime juice?
Cook that.
Like, that's still, we're talking about some raw ass meat.
But that's five minutes.
You cook it longer.
Like, ceviche is like overnight, I think.
But it's still going to be a cold dish, right?
I don't like ceviche, by the way.
But it is considered cooked, I think.
They're putting cook in a quote for a reason.
Anyway, you're dumb.
That's the dumbest thing you've ever asked.
Because I know you're also being a little bit silly, but not really.
That was an earnest question really that was an earnest question
it was an earnest question I get it now
but at the time it was an earnest question
then you were honestly asking me if you could
cook meat in your butt
I was honestly asking Google by the time I got to you I knew
it wasn't
the mouth but by the time
when you sent me the butt heat
I was like maybe my butt's hotter
when you sent me the butt heat you were still thinking my butt's hotter. And then, so I was, when you sent me the butt heat,
you were still thinking about,
well,
all right,
my mouth doesn't work,
but you would send me the dumbest guy alive.
And I sent that being like,
I got dumb.
Oh,
okay.
Okay.
As long as you're acknowledging,
not being like,
actually,
well,
actually I Googled,
Googled my butt heat.
So no,
okay.
Yeah.
That was like,
that was,
um,
staggeringly.
I was wondering if I shoved a fucking mutton up my ass,
would I cook it?
Would it marbleize?
You are so fucking dumb.
I remember once a girl I was dating
was cooking macaroni and cheese for us.
And you know how it says to add like butter,
whatever.
She put the butter in the water.
Like she took a stick of butter and put it in the water before there was, you know, like you boil the mac, then you pour it into the strainer.
Then you put the butter on the newly cooked.
She just had a pot of water and a stick of butter and was like stirring it until like the boiling started.
You think that's the norm?
But like as I started the story, as I started the story, I was like, John's going to agree with this.
I don't.
I don't.
I've never.
I've made mac and cheese a million times, and that's not how I do it.
Like we make butter water.
What's the difference?
Like, okay.
I would imagine butter water doesn't really convey the same flavoring as butter.
You make the noodles.
I think you double up the butter.
So you put the butter water.
That's fine.
And then you put more butter in after.
I feel like boiling the butter will take away a lot of the butter.
But yeah, you're right.
It's just extra.
I put salt in the water and I put more salt afterwards.
True.
True.
Google what happens when you boil water.
It's not how I would do it.
It's not how I've ever done it.
I would hope not.
But I could.
Oh.
But she was.
Maybe I'll do it tonight.
It was like she was just like stirring.
The pot hadn't boiled yet.
So it was like a cold pot of water with a stick of butter.
And she was like stirring. And I was like a cold pot of water with a stick of butter And she was like
Stirring and I was like
You're pretty dumb
So you're dumb
Alright I'm gonna have to
Recalibrate the conversations we're gonna have
Click that one that says can you boil down butter
Top one
Yeah of course you can
But they're not talking about water
Right
Right right right Boy is this show just the dumbest Yeah, of course you can. But like, what is it? But they're not talking about water. Right. Boiling.
But right, right, right, right.
Boy, is this show just the dumbest?
God, do I love it.
Oh, wait.
While we're talking dumb, while we're talking dumb, I got in a I know just last episode.
It's more of a Twitter argument.
It's more of a Twitter discussion.
I got in today and I'm just going to read it.
I already muted the guy, but I think I can find it.
Are you talking TV? What show?
No, no, no. I'm talking Barstool.
Maybe it's a little inside Barstool type deal.
I tweeted this morning
about the Disney Boys.
I'm obsessed with the Disney Boys trip.
I think it's very, very funny.
If you don't know, Dave,
Jeff D'Lo, Ken Jack, Bob Fox, and Clem did a day trip to Disney together.
This was on the table like many, many months ago, maybe even a couple years ago when Dave went to Disney.
Thought that he went to the Disney, thought he went to the Star Wars like section of Disney World.
Turns out he missed the whole thing and went to the same one that's been there since the 80s.
And Bob was like, you missed the actual Star Wars attraction.
And he was like, all right, now I have to go back.
And the plan was, let me take the Star Wars boys, and they'll do it all together.
So it's a complete.
Which Dave says, Dave says that first ride goes toe-to-toe with any of the rides he's been on today.
The first one?
Yeah.
From the 80s?
Yeah.
He was like, it was the best ride ever.
And they were like, that one's 40 years old.
Yeah.
So.
I think they ended up going on that again to compare.
And he, as they were walking up, was like, I might have overhyped this.
But I think that's a dangerous.
He's also dressed as a Nazi.
So he's walking around as an Imperial soldier, like higher up general, whatever.
They look heavy Nazi and I say to you right now
none of you should
photoshop any swastikas onto that
picture don't you dare
put a fucking
put a Nazi flag anywhere on
that man's suit he's wearing shorts
Nazis were big into shorts with their suits that's right
that's how Tom Brown got his idea
but the
so I tweeted.
I loved it.
And someone replied, this kid Alex replied,
I always find it so...
I guess this is really more of a discussion I had with this kid,
and he just wasn't listening to me.
He says, I always find it so fascinating when Barstool folks
go somewhere for content and post tweets.
Like, do you just pause everything to send out some tweets,
or do you walk around planning it all?
I quote to that. I said, do you use Twitter a different way than I tweets or do you walk around planning it all? I quote to that.
I said, do you use the Twitter a different way than I do?
No, there is no pausing your planning.
You kind of just go about your day and tweet about it like most days, really.
And and someone said it takes 10 seconds to fire off a tweet.
Yeah.
He replied, lol, you're not prez tweeting the millions.
This guy, Gilberto, replied, lol.
So the more followers, the longer it takes a tweet.
That's a wild take.
Alex, no, but when you go out to do content and they have a massive amount of followers,
I imagine their shit plan to maximize engagement, promote the brand, etc.
I finally chimed in with that.
I said, if you think that you haven't followed us particularly closely for the last 15 years,
I imagine our main account and stuff do things like that,
but I don't know anyone here who runs their personal account like that he said i
hear what you're saying but i think you're being a little facetious about all the behind the scenes
stuff hence when someone like yp doesn't follow the script it's such a big deal i said i honestly
don't know what you're referring to with yp but it seems like you're not going to believe me no
matter how many answers i provide that's's okay. Have a lovely day.
And then he's still, he'd been muted,
but he's still going on
replying to people. He sent the picture of
us, or I think your tweet of me
in red with you side by side
of me standing there in Amsterdam and then the one of me
in the casino where I have my jacket off
and I'm sitting there.
And he said, so this is 100% going on
with their days no script and and
and yes it was a hundred percent just going about our day now obviously it was like we're at a theme
party and i'm dressed a little different than i would usually dress we said we said we're in
amsterdam with burke reicher and like we're going to be making content let's go all out we were told
to wear red but like i'm going about my day once I wore red. If I was at a fucking bikini bash and I'm in a bikini, I'd pretend I'm at a tiki bar.
Heavens.
I'm not going about my day.
Please don't let that happen.
I'm participating in the event, and I'm dressed a little differently.
But once you're in there, you're like, just take a picture.
Yeah.
And I know we can never win with those heels.
I know there are people who think Barstool is all scripted and stuff like that.
You give us far too much credit. I've said that a million times.
Totally. We'd be incredible.
Yeah. We would be so incredible.
We're so goddamn dumb.
We don't think to do that stuff. We're too dumb to write
scripts. We're too dumb to plan engagement.
We're too dumb to do anything. I'm just talking about
goddamn cooking food in my mouth.
We're not
intelligent people. It's not a thing
that... This hasn't been a mastermind.
Taylor Swift has a mastermind where it's like, I've been doing all this on purpose.
None of us is doing anything on purpose.
We would be like Oscar award winning writers.
I have said, I put myself in situations for stories to happen.
That's the most planning that goes on.
Where I'm like, this is going to be crazy.
Let's just do it and see what happens. Well know what is interesting though it's funny you bring this all
up i totally agree with your side of it but i'm also i see the other side in the sense of last
night we went to the premiere for uh chrissy d's new show um super retro uh on. And we were there
and it was awesome. It was like this lounge
bar that had like a 70s type vibe.
And Chris, of course, was there.
Joe DeRosa,
Sean Evans, the Are You Garbage Guys,
Homeless Pimp,
Mike Cannon, and that was like...
Jess Curson. Jess Curson. It was like the crew
of comics that
we have met and worked with,
but actually like,
and are really friendly with.
Uh,
it's not all of them,
but they all were,
there was not one that I was like,
Oh,
this guy,
you know,
we were all very friendly and it was a very cool scene and it was a cool event.
Chris looked awesome.
It felt like a,
like a cool thing.
And I was like,
I don't have one piece of social media up about
this right now nothing i didn't tweet that i was going there i didn't tweet that i arrived i didn't
take any pictures and i was like i'm gonna i'm gonna take some pictures right now i grabbed
foley i did a selfie i grabbed you and kev we took a picture and uh i tried to snap some candids of
you and and sean terrible tried to snap some candids of you and Sean. Terrible. Tried to snap some candids of Chris and DeRosa.
They came out terrible.
I posted those anyway.
Long story short, my point being that I was about to go this whole night and not show the world at all.
And I actually liked that because I was enjoying myself and I wasn't thinking about it.
But then I did think about it and think I have got to get some content up for this but but that's i mean like a college girl at a bar
does that that's what i mean it's not like that was not that's like a barstool thing that was
just like a it's a it's a little bit heightened because it's like i have followers and this is
actually good for my career more so than like i just want to take i want to show the world
you know i want cloud or whatever this is like it'll be good to show that i'm at this party
with these people. But even
if I, let's say I'm on that side of the fence,
even once you decide that, I was
just like,
put up a couple of captions,
done. It's not like it's a
planned out, hard thing to
accomplish. It's very simple
to do. Again, it's how
people use social media. It's just social
media. We just do it to a bigger following again it's how people use social media right it's just we just do it we just do
it to like a bigger following and it's more like transactional like i hope this leads to more
followers which leads to more money and more sponsors but it's the same way that a girl at
a club is like we got a show that we're in the vip yeah and the guys are showing bottles
so we're drinking so right i mean that's what do. It's what social media is. I'd argue we're way worse than a regular person.
We're worse if we don't post as much?
There are some people here who are better at it.
Yeah, that's what I mean.
We fall in the worst category.
I was about to not post a single thing about this very cool event with a bunch of people I really like.
Right.
And I was not even – forget about posting.
I was like, I'm not even going to have a single memory from this.
Not even to be like, oh, look, that was the timing.
But those – fuck that. Fuck fucked up. Fuck that shit.
Taking pictures for memories. Who the fuck goes around and looks at their
pictures? I have noticed.
I've never once looked at a picture.
Do you go through your phone
and look at old pictures? Yeah.
All girls do it.
Every girl I know does it. I've seen girls
be like, I'm going to show you this picture.
And they'll go to their photos, and they'll scroll so fast,
and they'll know how many scrolls to do.
It's nuts.
I couldn't tell you fucking shit.
I don't know anything.
Although, now that you say that, what I accidentally scrolled to
was me and my buddy at the Liverpool game.
I'm like, oh, that's a good picture.
Girls always go back and look at their pictures also i feel like girls i've heard this phrase
before so i was stalking myself and blah blah but you'll go to your own social media right and
you'll look at your own pictures as if the same way you would almost look at your if you were a
stranger looking at it yeah you're looking at the comments you're looking at how many likes and shit
but you're effectively just sitting there looking at your social media page.
It's kind of wacky.
Looking at your comments when you're just like a regular person who's like just your friends follow you.
Must be a delight.
Oh, must be amazing.
Oh, okay.
I thought you were going to say it's so stupid.
It's crazy.
I mean, it is crazy.
It's all people being like, Slay Queen.
You look great, Mama.
The babies are amazing.
I can't imagine i think i
said last show i've never opened instagram comments and i i can't imagine there's a nice
thing in there very very i very you look great who the fuck would say that to me
or like well girl again girls do this they all have a little uh either either they get together at the monthly meeting and they put
it in in writing or it's an unspoken social contract that everybody's got to post flame
emojis on each other's shit you know and everyone's got to be like okay queen and all that shit
because they all do it to each other and you know that behind their back they're like oh my god that
bitch looks so fat oh i fucking hate her can you believe that she actually wore that and all that shit but then they just go put a little fireball on on their
comments and you've fulfilled your female duties uh shout out international women's day as we
record this you dumb bitches while we're talking uh women uh jackie i noticed you're wearing a
rather um i don't know what you call that shirt. What would you call that? What's that material?
It's an S, doesn't it?
Well, yeah.
Sheer?
Yes, I was going to say Shein, but that's that shitty company.
Sheer.
What is the deal, and I guess, Jackie,
you probably have a better answer for this, with the sheer dresses I've seen around
where, like...
They look like they're see-through.
Like, you can just see pussy lips
oh yeah you know the dress the pussy that takes a breath no oh man it is so fucking funny where
did i see i know i've seen it they're like the tight maxi dresses and it's and you and they're
not wearing an underwear and you can just see their pussy lips hanging what you got to do is
the sun has to be behind you yeah so. So it casts almost like a shadow.
And then also these girls have fucking flaps.
These girls have like pussies.
Is that like a...
Do you know what we're talking about?
Those are girls that have vaginas.
Other girls have pussies.
Those girls have vaginas.
I feel the opposite.
I have a penis, not a cock.
Yes.
Yes.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That sounds like a Che Durena post for sure.
Yes, I think it was.
Yes, Che has made an entire career off of these.
Oh, no, it wasn't.
How is it?
It's stunning that Che did not post this one.
He has posted many of those other ones.
Let me see.
Breath.
Five second.
The tweet I saw, it took a breath at the five second mark um
but the tweet i remember was like totally convoluted okay i got one i got one this is
the blue dress yes nope no but this is but this is the dress i'm referring and that's the girl
that's her whole shtick i think oh really but i've seen it in different girl yeah this girl
has many of those but i've seen it with different girls. Yeah, this girl has many of those. I've seen it with
different girls. So is this the new
TikTok
leggings that make your ass pop?
I guess.
Here's the dress when you want to show your pussy.
Regular girls walking around in that. I'd like to
wear one one day. No, I mean, there's regular girls walking around
in that. They just wear underwear.
But even if you can see the
underwear, like, guess what?
Underwear hugs your vagina so tightly,
it looks like you have lips. Nah, bro.
Not with these girls who have vaginas.
Those things are flapping in the wind
and then you put a thong on it and it just
tightens them up. It's like a jockstrap.
They're wearing a jockstrap for their lips.
Mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah.
I gotta find this one.
I'm supposed to be hungry.
How can I do like an advanced
took a breath? I just typed took
and it auto-filled took a breath because I think other people
are searching for this shit.
Yes. Okay. Okay.
Yeah. Okay. This is the one.
This is the one. Okay. I saw this one.
Okay. Wait. So I've seen this video. This is the one. Okay. I saw this one. Okay.
Wait.
So I've seen this video and I have no idea what you're talking about.
Okay.
I thought this was just about the dress.
Around the halfway mark.
You won't be able to see it because I'm going to let go and the bar won't be there, but
you'll see.
Okay.
Yes.
Okay.
Now I see what you're talking about.
Okay.
It just goes.
It's right when the beat cuts out,
she throws the ball up, and her pussy... And it goes full pack, man.
And her pussy just goes...
I've seen that video,
and I didn't know that's what it was about.
That's actually the exact video I was referring to
that got me thinking about it.
It's like halfway through.
When she throws it up, you'll see.
Oh, I've seen this
Now let me say two things
Of course Pat was like oh I've seen this
Pat's probably posted this
I don't like this
I don't think this is hot
Oh the dress is hot I don't like seeing like I don't need this I don't think this is hot The dress or the
Oh the dress is hot
I don't like seeing
Like
I don't need to see your lips
I don't need like
Your labia
Like flapping in the wind
I'm good with labia
I'm not
I'm not
Listen
I'm not gonna get painted
Into a corner
As some guy
Who's like
You need to have your labia
Fucking
Labiaplasty
Or whatever that's called
You know what I'm talking about
Yeah yeah yeah
I don't need
Your curtains flapping Under In the shadows yeah. I don't need your curtains flapping in the shadows.
Nah, dude, I don't mind.
I like that.
You like this?
Yeah, bro.
I like my shit like fucking, like...
You know something bad's coming.
Like, what could a good comparison be?
Oh, heavens.
Like in Captain America.
Okay.
When Chris Evans dives on the bomb
Dives on the grenade
Like if you sat on a grenade
With your pussy
Like a
Again happy International Women's Day
You like your
I got it
And then like you like the pussy
to be exploded by a grenade? What are you saying?
You want to see your pussy blown up
by a grenade. I'm going to do this more for the joke
but I'm going to keep going with it.
The sound effect you made
with the grenade going in was
I'm sure it's happened in some superhero movie
that I can't think of right
now but like they throw a bomb into a black hole like that's how we get rid of it yeah like uh
it's like yeah just kind of fucking you smothered it dude when you were saying philly when you said
uh what what's a good example never in a million years i think captain america was gonna come out
you could have given me infinite infinite guesses and i wouldn't have got there um yeah i'm not i i would much rather these girls
turn around and let me see your butt while you're doing this i do not want to see your pussy really
like i also don't like porn where they like spread it open and they zoom in on it and all that yeah
yeah you know like i don't need to see i don't i don't want a colonoscopy of your pussy right but the uh but the uh yeah i don't know man just
some because because guess what those other ones it's like when you're looking at fucking playboy
when you're a kid and you're like i can't even fucking see it like that's just fucking there's
nothing that's yeah you want you want something to it a little something to it yeah i know what you're talking about it's just like that's just
fucking like that that looks like your fucking leg like there's there's nothing there there's
not it looks like a barbie doll i'm like fuck that yeah i hear i want barbie have some fucking
fat lips there's uh there's a porn star uh one of those anonymous ones her name is miss impulse
she's super fucking hot but her pussy is like it's just
like a literal hole it's like a literal slit yeah it's like a quarter it's like we put a quarter in
the vending machine right right it's almost like it listen i'm pushing the clit like i want a refund
i think uh i'm down with um like if let's if you've got a serious curtain situation and you get, like, the surgery and you get, like, snipped a little bit fine, this looks like she chopped, like, her whole lip off.
Like, it is gone.
Yeah, imagine a mouth without lips.
Right.
That's what, yeah.
Her face looks like a dish.
It almost feels like.
Did you get a hole in your face?
It almost feels, I mean, I almost think you need the lips a little bit to close the door.
This almost feels like she just has an open hole.
Like a wound.
Now bugs can crawl in there.
She keeps getting better with it one month because it just falls out due to gravity.
I feel like things can get in and out because there's no door.
Can't stop having preemies.
He took it too far folks he took it too far he took it too far she's not allowed to do jumping jacks doctors like you gotta fucking
all right we'll move on i i do want people to be able to see because we're obviously – we can't put this on YouTube, right?
Can we?
The girl is just dancing.
Oh.
I'm going to put a screenshot at least.
I didn't know what you were –
Because I do want people to see the – if you're listening, you got to see the pussy take a breath.
Send it to Joey and ask if we can get the rights.
We can shut the music off.
Okay.
Because it's like she's like –
I'm all right with it.
I'm worth it. My man.
That's something.
I mean, that girl, literally her vagina is like.
But also.
You're about to play fucking.
Hold your breath through the tunnel.
I was going to say like hold your breath in the water.
Yeah.
Now, I'll just say this if you are a girl who's self-conscious how long do you think you're
gonna go i think you can get 45 seconds before you start to like less yeah you're already starting
to hurt right holding your breath as an adult is like i'm lucky if i get to 20 seconds as a kid it was like who could send a water the longest and my feet would be flailing out of the
pool but my head would still be under there like two and a half minutes now it's like my brain is
shutting off i have vertigo like jackie and i need oxygen immediately you're you're you don't look
like you're struggling yet you are yeah yeah that was probably not even a minute maybe a minute i
do not keep trying i was overheating i'm getting really hot like really really hot i would say if
you are a girl who is um self-conscious about your could have cooked a steak in there That thing traps the heat in.
I don't think it will turn away many guys.
Puss?
Nah.
Unless you've got a kite down there that can catch wind.
Doesn't matter, man.
Even then, I feel like I'm in, you know?
Bro, I'll fucking ball that shit up like a ponytail and suck your lips.
Five minutes.
Like when Homer Simpson gets skinny.
He's got it all pinned back
I'll turn that pussy
into Homer Simpson's
back bitch
yo you are
vile
you are
foul
motherfucker
foul
I wouldn't be surprised
if we lost sponsors
for that
I would not be surprised even we lost sponsors for that.
I would not be surprised.
Even like 3C would be like, we're out.
Like our most hardcore guys.
Nope, we're fucking done with those guys.
Three times this episode, it's just been silent.
I had a point, but boy, that just totally... I'll give your pussy a blowjob, dude.
Yo, let me blow your pussy as a fucking...
I actually...
Again, if you're listening, John just did the double-hand pepper cracker blowjob.
Jesus Christ.
Your mic is running away.
Your mic's like, get me away from this man's mouth.
Maybe I'll get an Indian sunburn on those fucking things.
Smoke's coming out of your hands.
Oh, my God.
By the end of it, it's smoked jerky.
It's just fucking meat cooked.
You can eat it.
Ceviche.
It's cooked.
Put some lemon juice in there.
You know? with some lemon juice in there I have had
I've had a
you know like if your lips
kind of like fit around my chin
I kind of like that it's cool
you know like your tongue
bro you went from fucking
from fucking I don't like lips to I want a reverse birth.
Swallow me head first.
I'm just putting this out there for the girls that I know are self-conscious about it.
Unless you have a catastrophic situation down there, nobody's going to even probably notice.
And I'll even go as far to say shout out chloe kardashian
who used to i think she was the first one to put fat pussies on the map because she was like i got
a fat pussy girls i got fat lips and i like it it's puffy and it's fat and like we're good
there's a little bit of like you know it's like you kind of clap them you can clap them cheeks
you can clap them lips too you know um so you know any any of my lipped up girls you're out there lipped up you're all
good don't worry saw fat joe last night oh yeah just a quick he he parks in my garage and he
pulled in in a baby blue rolls royce suv that was like matte blue and the rims were blue and i was
like that oh he parks in your garage garage when you park it at work.
Yeah, because the Knicks game was right there.
But he was driving and parking in the garage.
I thought it was kind of weird.
I don't know.
I would think you would either have a driver or get dropped off or whatever.
He just pulled into the same garage I do.
He probably paid his fucking car.
You're waiting to get out of his traffic after the game.
That's what I mean.
Getting out of there after a Knicks game is a disaster.
We saw him at Kanye too, right?
He was in that tunnel we took out of there.
He's in the streets.
Fat Joe is like a real New Yorker.
He's always out there.
But I saw that car and I was like, that's got to be somebody famous.
And then got out and it was fucking Fat Joe.
It looked awesome.
Star-studded night for us between the comics and Fat Joe.
It was a good time.
It was a good...
Chris, he's going to be on the show.
We have him as a guest tomorrow.
So it'll air next week.
All right?
Yeah, I would guess Tuesday.
Yeah.
So we'll talk to him then.
Chris is on another fucking trajectory, another level right now.
Absolutely awesome.
But he planned the perfect event for a 38-year-old like myself.
Started at 8 o'clock.
I got there at 7.56.
Got a drink,
open bar. We had sandwiches
from Joey DeRosa's sandwich spot.
Joey DeRosa's perfect...
Legit
delicious. Joe, I'd never had it
before, and Joe was like, you gotta go get one.
And I got so nervous
about that because i was like what if i'm not a good actor what if they're terrible what if it's
not good and and it was legit delicious like i actually i think i went too much over the top
telling joe yeah because he thought it was like i was like i was like dude i was gonna lie to you
this is really good like this is awesome yeah um so it's in the east village joey roses i recommend
that i i had a couple of them i came back i was like telling people i was in line i probably got five sandwiches and to be fair they
were like slivers yeah it was not cut in half uh but the and i was i'm getting them for a bunch of
people and i brought them to our table and no one else ate them i i kept like i'd eat one and i
wait like five minutes i was like i don't know who's gonna get that one i'll get that um so i
had a couple it was dark so i couldn't really see all of them.
But one I could definitely tell was like sausage and peppers.
It was spicy.
That one was fucking flames.
Yeah.
It was – so we had the hors d'oeuvres, like sandwiched basically, like open bar, 8 p.m. start.
I think it went until like midnight.
But Chris kind of hit his breaking point around like 10.30.
I was like, so did I. Perfect went to like midnight, but Chris kind of hit his breaking point around like 1030. I was like, so did I.
Perfect night to me.
Actually, I could go earlier.
I could go 7 to 10.
Perfect.
And like got home, still could watch some TV.
It was great.
I was so tired because like we were there for like three hours, probably something like that, two and a half, three hours.
And a lot of small talk, a lot of fucking jibber jabber, this and that.
I was the most exhausted I've ever been.
Like, ever been.
I've had days where I've been. Took it out of you.
Fucking Amsterdam.
Went skiing for a full day and worked out and had these days.
I was not as tired as I was last night.
And it was so draining on my body that I slept eight last night.
I had dinner before I got there.
I had five sandwiches while
I was there. And then
when I got home, I got in bed. As soon as I got home,
I got in bed at like 11.30. And I
woke up to an
empty bag of Justin's peanut butter cups,
an empty bag of... Oh, you slept eight of them.
Yeah, an empty bag of
Red Hot's blue chips, and an empty bag of mango slices, you slept eight of them. Yeah. An empty bag of Red Hot's blue chips and an empty bag of mango slices.
Don't remember eating them.
Wow.
I was just so hungry because I was...
You are an animal.
I put forth so much effort.
That's a lot of effort for me to small talk for like three hours, three and a half hours.
You are an animal of a human.
And it was just like, I was like, where the fuck did I eat that?
I don't remember eating any of that.
I had like wrappers of Justin's peanut butter cups in the bed yeah
are we talking like a a couple or like a bag a bag of like little ones yeah bag of little ones
like not like a massive it wasn't but yeah it wasn't a reseal it wasn't like i had two cups
no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no, no, no. Oh, I know. I don't do that. You're an animal. You're an absolute beast.
I went home.
So I had a few espresso martinis.
I was pretty drunk.
Go home, pop on my favorite Texas 911 or whatever that show's called.
Never have I seen a more ridiculous episode of television in my life uh there was a solar flare that affected earth like knocked out electricity and and cell phones and traffic lights so there's all these crashes
and all these things and the fire department has to save them all and all that shit. And then part of the show is the dispatch thing.
You know, one of the characters is dispatch.
The astronaut calls dispatch and says, I was trying to reach Houston, but the solar flares like crossed up our wires.
I'm talking now to Austin.
And she's like, get the fuck out of here.
And he's like, no, this is like, you know, Commander Tom Smith.
I'm on the International Space Station.
And she's like, oh, my God, is there anything I can do for you?
And he's like, not unless you can fix acute radiation poisoning.
This dude got rocked by a solar flare.
So his skin is, like, falling off.
And, like, his co-pilot's dead already.
He knows he's toast.
He's like, can you do me one favor, though?
Can you patch me
through to my family and she patches him through and she's like smith this is like blah blah blah
dispatch like i have your phone your husband on the phone and she's like get out of here no you
don't he's in the space station she's like no i do and like so she realizes what's it realizes what it means. He ends up talking to his wife and his baby daughter.
I'm drunk and weeping.
Really?
I was sobbing.
This guy's not even a character on the show.
The voices that were, you don't even see the people on the phone.
You just hear their voices.
They were horribly like fake phone voices.
If you talk on the phone in a movie, it's fine.
If you do a fake phone, you sound different if you if you talk on the phone in a movie it's fine if you do a fake phone you sound different you know what i mean yeah and she's just like daddy
why is mommy crying right now and he's like i'm always gonna be with you like i'll always be up
there looking down on you and i was like sobbing so shout out to my re Reno, Texas 911 Firefighter show.
Any of my fans out there that might have seen
the Solar Flare episode.
Do you watch these live or is this like
you're going through the catalog?
Not live, but are you on
this week's episode? No.
I think I'm like eight seasons back. I've been around for a while.
And it's also my show that's like
I'm going to fall asleep
in a half hour,
so I don't want to put on
a real show,
so let me put on this show.
And I just watched my man Rob Lowe
just fucking crush it.
But I was like,
I can't believe I'm crying
at Texas 911
or Lone Star 911.
I don't even know
the fucking name of it.
But somebody out there
was like,
all right,
here's my pitch.
Like,
Solar Flares. And they were like, yep, let let's go i have the idea i have a feeling they do so many of those shows
like blacklist and all those shows where there's like 24 episodes a season that any idea that's
pitched they're like go do it yep absolutely like we've got a million episodes to make
keep it going what a job that must be. Ugh.
Just coming up with dumb shit like that.
I would do that.
The son is fucking with the phones.
Perfect.
Love that. We're in.
We're in.
The very first scene is there's two gay guys, and they kind of are breaking up.
And he was like, I'm sorry, man.
And he's like, it's all good.
It's not like it's the end of the world.
And then everything starts to go haywire.
And I was like, tell me we're getting an alien attack on Texas 911.
Even better.
Solar flares and dead dads.
Great.
The whole time I was going, they're going to fucking kill this guy.
Right now?
On the phone?
Are you going to?
It's like, I'm getting old, man.
I'm drunk and crying at stupid TV shows.
Can't even fall asleep
because I had too much espresso.
It's true.
It's true.
I was crying.
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It's been a long time since we've had a good or a viral Am I the Asshole, I feel like.
This has 23 million views, this picture.
It says, the tweet said, are you all ready to hate somebody?
Yeah, it has 4,000 retweets, 7,000 quote tweets, 82,000 likes, but 23.4 million views.
That's a lot of opinions.
Yeah, that means a lot of people are just looking at it, though, being like, oh, my God.
So this goes, am I the asshole for expecting my partner to pay half of my hospital bill?
So I'll tell you what I was thinking when i heard that when i hear partner
i'm thinking it's a gay couple okay and i am thinking that this is going to be that is true
gay people have partners straight people have significant others or just you know you say
boyfriend girlfriend wife husband whatever yeah um and i'm thinking that this is going to be a drunk incident
where you were responsible
for half of it
I wouldn't have, drunk driving or something like that
I wouldn't have even gotten hurt
if you weren't drunk and playing with the knife
or whatever
it's not that
decidedly not
coming here is a last resort because i genuinely think this is a problem
that could end my marriage also throw away account because my husband is a frequent redditor i'm sure
he hasn't well guess what about uh like uh like an eighth of america has seen it so uh my husband
35 and i 32 welcomed our first baby three months ago we've been married seven years now and decided
it was time to expand our family everything was going well and we were in our little newborn bubble of bliss until the
hospital bills came both my husband and i have jobs and everything financially is split 50 50
but we've always kept our money separate with the exception of a joint account for bills we were
just talking about this i think that's the way to do it keep your account separate but you have
one joint thing that manages all of your joint expenses uh so i think that's the way to do it. Keep your account separate, but you have one joint thing that manages all of your joint
expenses.
So I think that's a good plan.
Throughout the duration of my pregnancy, I plan to go for an unmedicated natural birth
with as little intervention as possible.
That was up until I hit the 24 hour mark of labor.
I caved and got the epidural, which I was open to having if needed.
My husband, by the way,
just for the people out there, if you're going to try to do this, I think often once you hit
a certain mark, they can't give it to you.
So I don't even know. There's a little suspect, but
get the epidural.
Just get the epidural.
What is the argument against an epidural?
It does take longer because your body,
you don't feel it as much.
So you're not, I think, the contractions aren't as strong.
You're not pushing as much.
There's not the urgency.
So it will be longer, but you're fucking numb.
Sounds nice.
Yeah, it's like.
I'm enjoying myself.
What am I going to rush it with?
I think people also, you know, it's probably the same thing.
Natural birth.
Yeah, vaccines and shit.
You want your baby being poisoned. It's like, well like well you're gonna try to push a bowling ball through a
fucking pinhole dude i would tell you what my favorite response we were in like health class
or whatever when we're in uh school and um one of my buddies they're what i forget the example
she's talking about the childbirth yeah and one of my buddies is like girls are just whiners
which is a crazy thing to say like a female health teacher love it though love it and and the teacher's response was do you
understand how small a hole what you're pushing through it would be like pushing a watermelon
through a cheerio and he goes why would that hurt me and she's like, come on. That wouldn't hurt me at all. She self-did.
Come on.
Yeah.
That was up until like 24 minutes.
I can't even remember.
I don't know.
My husband had no problem with it, even encouraged it.
When the bill came, he brought it to me and told me to pay.
When the bill came, he brought it to me to pay all $8,000 after insurance for my personal savings. I asked why. He said,
you're the one that couldn't hold out for a few more hours and jacked up the bill with all your
meds and an extra night's stay, and he shouldn't have to pay for all my extra requests. If I wanted
luxury, I should expect to pay for it. I was stunned. I flipped out, but I'll spare you the details.
He refuses to budge, calling me a princess for expecting him to pay all the quote extra
add-ons I requested at the hospital.
This is by far the biggest issue in our 14-year relationship so far.
I'm so lost on where to go from here.
I gave in and paid the bill, but since then we haven't been talking and honestly, I just
feel disrespected. Do I have the right to feel this way or is it just hormones? This is such a catastrophe because you're a brand new mom with a newborn,
and now you've got to be a single mom.
Because there's just, I mean, there is no way you can stay in this relationship.
I mean, obviously not.
It's insanity.
But, I mean, he's making good points at the same time.
We have separate accounts.
I fly first class.
You fly coach.
I like to pay for luxury.
This was, that was, you chose how to spend your money.
If it was me, I would shit it out natural.
You needed some help.
I'd have given birth to this thing in the tub.
Well, if only you had big pussy lips, it would have solved the whole problem.
You'd think it would have fallen out a couple months ago.
Well done.
It is, I mean, it's insane.
Of course, yeah.
There's no arguing this one.
But the, I respect this man.
Look, I respect anyone.
Do not co-sign that.
I respect anyone who stands by their insane beliefs.
Yeah.
I like to picture this guy leaning into it.
Like, he's bringing her a donut to sit on.
He's like, here you go, princess.
How's you and your fucking ripped up pussy doing?
Oh, you can't lift heavy things either, you fucking wuss?
Just like, refusing to get up?
Did this woman have the only the only logical
explanation for how this man is treating her is she cheated they're there they yeah they are
celibate she cheated and she's trying to pass it off as an immaculate conception like that's the
only logical explanation for for what could possibly be running through this man's head.
I mean, it's insane.
But what sucks is you're staring down the barrel of like,
all right, I got to raise this kid on my own now.
At least you don't have to separate finances.
You already got your separate accounts.
You need a lawyer.
Save money there.
Don't have to pay for luxury of a lawyer.
Yeah.
But I mean, I don't think it's salvageable no bro it's such a you are really fucking somebody over like in their
absolute moment of need like bro i don't fucking give a bill for anything like i've never charged
a partner yeah significant other for fucking literally anything and to fucking walk in there like like i i like
he's like don't worry i'll go take care of it i'll check us out i'll sign it and he goes and
he says hey room 108 um our our health insurance is up we've been here 20 minutes now we gotta get
the fuck out of here right um i'll go i'll go close out and he goes and closes his tab at the
bar and he comes back and his tab at the bar.
And he comes back and she's still in bed.
And he's like, here you go.
Here's the bill.
The hospital wants you to just write a check for this.
Dude, that is... The balls, bro.
It's genuinely unconscionable.
And I can't help but tip my cap.
I would say this is probably the most heinous, misogynistic thing that's ever happened.
Like, bro, I didn't have a baby.
You had a baby.
Fucking get out of here.
Well, oh, let me guess.
You want me to pay college tuition, too?
I didn't fucking have that thing.
I was willing to pay for the abortion.
You were the one.
I already made my offer, yeah.
You were too pro-life to fucking. That's a good deal. I'll pay for the abortion. You were the one. I already made my offer, yeah. You were too pro-life to fuck in.
That's a good deal.
I'll pay for the abortion.
If you want to have it, you have to pay for the epidural.
That's great.
That is great.
See, I told you I'd take you out to dinner.
I didn't say like a steakhouse, you know what I mean?
I'll buy you McDonald's.
I didn't tell you the best.
I said, let's grab a drink.
I meant during happy hour.
I'll pay for any abortion.
You got to pay for the delivery.
I'll get a little real with it, but that's a...
I might have made that deal before.
Maybe you said this exact phrase before.
I'll pay right now.
If you cook it, it's on you.
Cook that thing in your ass and it's all yours.
I was going to make a dinner at home.
If you want to eat out, you want to pay for luxury.
Oh, man.
Shit, man.
I haven't made that deal.
I would make that deal, but I haven't.
That was one of the jokes in the Chris Rock special I did like.
He's like, I paid for more abortions than all the women in this room.
It's like, goddamn, Chris.
How fucking many do you think he's paid for?
It reminds me of how many times that Britney Spears' sister was killing those cats.
Remember that?
Like nine cats. Remember that?
It's happening all the time.
I gotta at least be a dozen cats the way she
was talking. That's at least a
dozen abortions for Chris Rock.
Okay, and while
we're at it, I'm gonna open up a box.
I'll grab a card from our
new game, Who's the Biggest Asshole?
where we took all these type scenarios
that go viral on the internet and we put in our own
These ones are all ours
Yeah, well not, yeah, these are a lot
These are a lot ours, but yeah
These are just things that happen in our miserable lives
I read one the other day
that I was like, oh, that one was mine
and I forgot and I was like, Jesus Christ
This is fucking crazy
We've read a couple where I'm like was that mine was that yours
yeah that's what's funny you never know
um
let's see a good one now
there's some in there that are so direct at people
oh totally totally
I refuse to do my wife's laundry
even though she does all of mine I can tell
it pisses her off but her clothes are so
complicated to wash totally on his
side I am obviously totally on his side.
I've only ever lived with one woman before.
And happy Women's Day to everybody.
I don't do laundry.
I don't do that.
I don't do laundry, man.
I cook.
I do dishes.
I pay rent.
I don't do laundry.
So you send yours out, right? Now? That's what you do you go like wash and fold no oh no i now i do laundry but if i'm paying rent
i'm not doing laundry i do i do flat out straight up believe if you live with a woman, you have to do laundry.
Like, straight up.
Like, 100%.
Happy International Women's Day.
Hear me out.
Hear me out.
Because,
this one might be mine.
This one might be mine.
Because,
it is often,
it is often way more complicated.
Women's laundry.
I don't think it is.
Women's laundry, I think a lot of times it's like this is made of silk and this is lace and satin.
And you've got to put your underwear in one of those fucking bags because Lord knows that the washing machine is going to eat up your underwear
because it's like this fucking big in the first place i will and then it's like oh well you
shouldn't have walked you shouldn't have dried that because it's like cashmere and and oh that
one like you know the coloring is a blah blah blah where it's like my shit it's like yeah i shrunk
that and it's discolored and i'm either just gonna throw that out or i don't care anymore you know
so to me it's like you're gonna be doing your laundry the right way and
why don't you just like throw mine in too come on yeah come on i i i um i don't do laundry for a
different reason um it is because it is because i hate you um that's sort of from some show i
forget which it is but the uh i i i have folded before and i guess i have a certain type of how
you fold no of of woman who i okay tend to be with and folding your clothes makes me feel like a
pedophile expand please it's just so so small oh oh yeah yeah it's so tiny the girl's clothing i'm
like i'm like this is a...
Dude, when you look at their t-shirts...
When we're out, we look like two adults.
Yes.
When I'm doing your laundry, I'm like, this is a child's...
Pre-teen girl.
It is unnerving.
No, it's crazy.
I don't even know how to...
Do I even fold this, or do I just throw it in the bin with the rest of the dolls' clothes?
Yeah, you can't even fold some of the things things because it's like, it's like just folding
like a little napkin.
It's like, eh.
And the t-shirts are bad enough, but then you get to like the fucking Lululemons and
the biker shorts and you're like, this is, this is not on an adult.
The leggings are like this fucking skinny.
I don't even know how they squeeze in there.
It doesn't make sense.
I mean, their underwear is ridiculous.
Their underwear is like a little fucking just piece of train.
The underwear for a reason gives me less concern.
It's the regular clothes.
I'm like, what do you mean?
You just wear this out?
Underwear wears me out because that feels like a little girl.
But I guess it doesn't feel like a little girl because it's like adult.
It's a cut, you know?
But it's so tiny.
And then the t-shirts are like super shrunk.
And they put them on and it just like fits them like the Santa Claus.
This isn't...
This isn't a really cool person.
I'm having sex.
I mean, this is pretty much absolutely definitive.
A huge snowstorm came through last winter and I took advantage of the snow day to get drunk in my kitchen
while I watched my dad shovel the driveway by himself.
That was definitely me.
That was for sure.
And while I will say this,
like you're definitely the asshole.
Like he's a dad.
He wants to get out there and get out of the house.
Trust me.
You get out whenever it's like,
Hey,
go do some manual labor.
Go,
uh,
go,
go mow the lawn, go shovel the driveway. Shoveling kind of sucks. Cause it's like, hey, go do some manual labor. Go mow the lawn.
Go shovel the driveway.
Shoveling kind of sucks because it's heavy and it'll work out.
But it's still like, go do this thing.
Go sweep your fucking basement that's flooded.
Okay.
Put my headphones in.
Go do the thing.
Put my phone in a fanny pack and a safe.
All good.
And don't let anybody see it. Took me a quick second to realize that.
Let me just change my passwords.
Let me do a little two-factor verification before I go shoveling.
I will never forget, man.
Like two, three, four, whatever days later
when that snow melted and I saw that phone.
I was like, this is a scene out of a movie.
I was like, there it is.
Found it.
Because I looked.
Obviously, I looked.
And I was like, that shit is gone.
And then it was like, it was right there.
You just didn't dig deep enough, bro, or whatever the fuck it was.
You know, I must have dropped it, shoveled and put it on top.
You would have seen like the hole buried my own.
I buried my own body.
I literally, I literally dug my own grave.
The other thing with that, assuming that is my card,
what my dad does is he is obsessive about shoveling.
So he sets alarms.
He goes out every two hours.
Because he doesn't want to get too big or too heavy.
So I'm like, here's the deal.
If you want to wait and shovel at a reasonable hour, 10 a.m., get up, we'll make some breakfast,
we'll go shovel, I'll help you out.
But we're not starting at four.
I'm not waking up from a slumber to go shovel.
That's crazy town.
I also think like...
Also, guess what?
You don't want to shovel that much, you shouldn't have bought this house, motherfucker.
I'm here on vacation I would rather shovel
Like once heavy
Than go back outside
Get cold, put the gear on
Take the gear off, hands are numb
You know, it's like
It's like one trip
The wind knocked out of me three times from pushing the shovel
I mean to me it's like
The same thing as I do one trip from the
Car with my groceries, you know what I mean
I'm not going to go back and forth.
We're putting this in until my fingers are getting cut off circulation with the fucking handles.
And I'm ready to fall on the stairs.
One trip, one shovel.
All right.
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there's got to be a thing remember this is brianna's thing yeah i want to leave it up to
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like that okay so it's buried treasure you open up the the bag boom there's a pirate water get
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It's up to Brianna.
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them um the um before we get into voicemails real quick uh you saying hiding made me think of this
i believe it might have been a comment on the uh am i the asshole we did earlier the birth one
someone said that uh a woman replied i believe it was in context to this, but it was a tweet I read somewhere.
But a woman had said that
she didn't know she was giving birth
until she gave birth.
And her husband had felt it kick
and just kept a secret.
What?
What a secret that must be.
To just fucking have.
Like he was just rubbing her belly
and all of a sudden, boom.
And then just didn't say anything.
The power you must hold in your hand
to not tell another person
that there's a person inside of them?
That's the dream right there, folks.
Bro, that's probably like illegal.
I feel like he was,
I don't know if he was keeping it a secret
or just being like,
well, didn't feel that.
Be like, I don't know if she had
Mexican for dinner tonight. Could have just been a little rumble. Just a little fingers crossed. Like, I didn't feel that. I don't know if she had Mexican for dinner tonight.
Could have just been a little rumble.
Just little fingers crossed.
I didn't feel that.
Yeah, that's almost like a denial.
After the fact, it's like, yeah, I definitely felt the kick.
Jesus.
I wouldn't be able to keep the secret
because she'd piss me off.
We'd get in a fight and I'd be like,
well, guess what? You're fucking pregnant.
There's a kid in you, just so you know.
Yeah, guess what?
That bottle of wine you just drank?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You just killed your kid.
Yeah, yeah.
I'd hope she was sober.
Yeah.
She's just like, you want another one, babe?
That guy probably fed her all the foods and all the drinks she's not allowed to have.
This is my guy, Julian.
He's one of the producers and co-hosts
on the new rory and mal show which is um a show i've been listening to a lot i made an appearance
on them a couple months ago um rory and mal were used to be on the joe budden show that that whole
thing went down they started their own show and it's basically like a kfc radio uh version but
they also just talk more hip-hop which is like my fucking dream come true
and so i've been keeping up with they also have a whole crew like they have a jackie and a pavs
and a nick and so shout out to damaris and maul and julian and ed and all those guys uh so they
have like a whole team it's kind of like watching a bizarro world like uh uh version of kfc radio
with like where not everyone's white. And so they
had this episode,
they had this saga unfold recently
where one of the guys
was hooking up with this chick
and it kind of went south.
So here's his video summarizing it.
It's perfect for Am I the Asshole and perfect
for the chicken heads to weigh in on.
My name's Julian
and I am dying to know who the
asshole is from this insane New Year's Eve story that I have. A girl that I matched with on Raya
about four or five months before New Year's told me she might be in New York for New Year's
staying with a friend and the idea was we might see each other not even commit to spending New
Year's together. She then tells me she still wants to come, but she's now,
she can't stay at her friend's place. At this point, we were already kind of talking. I was
like, you know what? Sure, you can stay with me for a couple nights. And then somehow two nights
turned into four. First night goes well. We end up hooking up. Nothing crazy. Second night's New
Year's Eve. Third day comes around. She said, hey, I'm going to go meet some friends for some coffee
and do some work and then maybe get
some drinks I was like you know what great I came home at six because we agreed to have dinner at
eight I figured that gave me enough time to get ready 9 30 rolls around hey the kitchen for the
second restaurant is going to close soon um we can scrap dinner all together but please stay out with
your friends I'll just order food no stress I end up end up ordering food. And as I'm going down,
she's coming across the street towards me
while I'm making a left.
So I stop on the corner and kind of like turn around
with like my umbrella and I look.
And the person she's with is wearing
a Lululemon backpack that I lent her.
It's a man that she's standing with.
And then I see,
and they just start aggressively making out
like four or five times just keep making out and then i come up the stairs and come in and i said
how was your night and she was like oh it was so great i caught up with these girlfriends that i
haven't seen in so long and it was so good to see them i didn't think i was gonna be able to see
them i was like that's so i'm really happy you. That's great. Where does your girlfriend live? I don't, I don't know. I'm not, I'm not sure. So I was like, so when I
just went out to go pick up the food for dinner, I saw you aggressively making out with someone,
correct me if I'm wrong. And she was dead silent. I saw the, the, the alcoholicist.
And then I was like, okay, I'll take your silence as I'm right. And she was dead silent. I saw the, the, the alcoholicist. And then I was like,
okay, I'll take your silence as I'm right. So I continued, you didn't get what you wanted. So I
was like, how about I do you both a favor? How about you get all your stuff? And I have this
office in my apartment, take it and you can go with him. She tried to rebuttal. I quickly
brushed that off. I said, please just save save it i don't want to hear it just grab
your stuff and go and then ultimately she did that uh she grabbed all her stuff and uh left
my apartment and so they they then followed up on another episode that was on their patreon they
eventually released it they ended up calling her and her friend almost acted like her lawyer
and was kind of like what the fuck like you
know she didn't do anything wrong why did you kick her out the whole night it became like the train
girl saga for rory amal uh that's right he trained her in yes he trained her yeah it was his train
girl she like took like a four-hour train in um and i think what started to kind of develop was it was not as smooth as he maybe thought
the first couple nights were.
He was like, we fucked.
So it couldn't have been that bad.
But by like night three,
I think both of us were kind of like,
this is a lot for two people
who like really don't know each other.
But in that scenario,
can you go do that?
And if you do do that, and if you don't think you can do that, can you kick that person out?
Yeah.
Well, you can do whatever you want as long as you don't get caught.
Right, right, right.
But you can't – if you get caught, you're fucked.
You're in the wrong.
Yeah, you're the one in the wrong.
You're 100% in the wrong.
And she was lying about it too, being like, I went with my girls.
If she was just like, yo, I'll be honest.
I ran into an old flame and like, I don't know.
If she just copped to it, then it's like –
But see, I do appreciate a lie.
Don't tell me.
Yeah, don't be like –
But like if I was just – obviously, is it Julian?
Yeah.
Obviously, since Julian saw, it's a different situation. But if I was just like you know, obviously, is it Julian? Yeah. Obviously, since Julian saw, it's a different situation.
But if I was just like, hey, how was your night?
And you were like, you had just been hooking up with someone.
You're like, it was great.
I was with girls.
It sounds fun.
Totally.
Easy.
Don't ask, don't tell.
We get away.
We move on.
You could even be like, you know.
If I fucking saw you.
If I saw you, like, you're out of the house.
Also, it sounds like they kind of had a, you know, he was like, we were supposed to have dinner at 6, and then it was 8, and then it was 9.30.
So she was like blowing him off in the process, and he was still pretty cool about it, being like, all right, you're having fun with your friends.
Because again, you're not even close to dating.
It's very strange when you do something that is heavily like dating.
Not even dating.
Like, you're living together.
You're playing house for four days.
But you barely even know each other so you went from zero to a thousand but you don't really
have any uh that person doesn't owe you anything they want to go fuck somebody else like they can
it's not like you're not cheating it's kind of like you're a rude house guest you're getting
fucking blown out by this other dude i think i think they he suspected that like they were fucking and then walked home too so it's like he fucked her she fucks him he catches her and then
says how about you get the fuck out now the friend was like how are you gonna throw my girl out on
the streets and she was like she was like i didn't have her gonna go like you just fucking went out
with friends and shit like that but also even, even if not, I don't know.
I find it like it's a lot to ask someone to be like,
I blew you off all night.
Fuck some other guy.
You caught me.
And now you have to let me stay over your place? There's no chance you stay in the house.
And it's not a house.
We're talking New York City apartment.
Maybe in a scenario like, I remember, not to bring up a bad time, but I remember Dave,
when he was explaining all of his personal life shit, he said there was one time he flew
out a girl.
They didn't, like, get along.
And she just, like, stayed in another room for the weekend.
And, like, and then she went home.
But he had a house where he could be like, you stay on the couch or I'll stay on the
couch, whatever.
You're in a New York City apartment.
It's like, this is fucking crazy.
And also, you've just slighted me. And I'm your host.'m your host like so fuck you bro it's not even about the making out it's not
even about the potential sex what's this motherfucker doing in my backpack yeah why do you
that why is he wearing my backpack that is i'm so happy you brought that up because when i was first
listening to this it was the backpack that got me it's like that he was like I'm going to put on homeboys
was he wearing my goddamn hoodie too?
yeah right right right
did you steal my clothes and give it to him also?
what was he being like I'll carry your bag for you?
you know like
chivalry?
it's a backpack
she clearly put like hoodies, sweatshirt, umbrella
whatever in it
somewhere along the lines he's putting on my gear.
That's like, that's disrespect.
I remember the first Nate at Night here when Mark Roberge came in.
And Nate like was drunk and like went to strum his guitar or whatever.
And it was like, Mark was like, seriously, you don't touch my guitar.
You do not touch another man's guitar.
Don't touch my, if someone else is in my goddamn clothes,
we better be having sex.
That person?
Yeah.
I imagine anyone who's ever worn my clothes,
aside from my brother and shit like that,
anyone who's worn my clothes...
It's because we're having sex.
Someone I've been inside.
Right.
No one's just putting on my clothes.
No, no, no.
And it's one thing, too, if it's like, I didn't know about it.
If you were like, hey, can I wear this?
Yeah, fucking wear it.
Right.
But if you're like.
Sneak wear.
If you just come out in the living room and you're in my sweatshirt, I'm like.
What the fuck?
That's mine.
What the fuck was that?
What are you doing?
Let alone if it's a stranger and a guy who just fucked your girl for the weekend.
It's like, you ran up in that pussy
and now you're also wearing my stuff?
You've got to be a gentleman about it.
The guy, I believe,
I think they debated whether or not the guy knew.
If you're that second guy
and you know what's up,
do you still fuck that girl?
Yeah.
100%.
That's what I liked about him.
He was like, I have no problem with this dude.
No, dude, I have no problem with it.
He's all good.
He was like, I was happy he beat two.
It's just that, like, fuck this girl.
But you know what?
People who are like, dude, I'll have sex with a married woman.
I don't give a shit.
That's not my business.
Dude, like, I don't fucking.
You don't feel any sort of guy code to like somebody
you don't know someone i don't know yeah no i have no code towards you at all that's like that's
your i i don't think i've ever done it not to my knowledge no one's ever been like here's a picture
my husband you want to have sex um and maybe if like maybe with all the cards on table maybe i'd
be like i don't want to get it yeah like you have kids and shit like that but like uh yeah yeah if
i was told outright up front i don't know how I'd react.
Maybe I would be a little different than I think.
Right, right.
But like, no.
If someone was like, I'm married afterwards, I'd be like, cool.
What do you want me to do?
What now?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, no, I mean I'm fully on board.
And the lesson here, I think, you can't do four days with someone you've like just been talking to on an app.
Yeah.
You can do even like two nights.
Like you play house with somebody for like you,
you,
you,
you see them at night.
You probably fuck them.
You go to sleep.
You wake up,
you have a day together.
You have your meals together.
You fuck again.
You go to sleep.
You wake up again.
You do a whole other day.
Sleep together again for days and nights
together like that's a fucking vacation i don't like you only do that with people you know no no
no yeah i don't like i don't even like being with them but people i know right no right even
there is a scenario where i would almost rather do it I would rather do four days with just some fucking random slut
who we just have the most bomb sexual chemistry
and we just fuck each other for four days straight.
It's the like, let's hang out in the daytime.
If you're just like, we don't even come up for air,
we just fuck for 196 hours, whatever it is,
I could do that better than I could do four days
with a fringe friend.
Oh, easily. That's so fun
because it's almost like you're living out
a movie.
We know this is ending.
Who fucking cares? Let's just have fun.
It's not like
there is light at the end of the tunnel.
No, there's nothing.
Am I doing this forever?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You're just going to fuck this person forever? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did I somehow agree to do this forever?
Yeah, no, no, no.
They're going to leave.
There's a time constraint.
Let's get it in as much as we can.
And that can actually be pretty fun, obviously.
It's the other side.
Once things were a little bit like we're having an awkward second day,
and if you both agree to have your separate
third day that means there's some shit that's like not going well but for her to just go be
like i'm gonna go find some other dick like okay you do you but i'm not you know i'm not
fuck you after like i'm gonna what like let's watch jamaica like that you're that guy's cub
is probably inside of you and we're gonna fuck tonight uh i don't think so i'm not a cuck yeah yeah you've cucked me but with my backpack let alone
anything else back and get the fuck out yeah i was i'm fully fully uh team julian on that one
i might i guess no now that i know like she has friends and shit like that i would like if i could
potentially say like you can stay until tomorrow and then you got to go.
No, no, no.
You're out.
Maybe if you are –
Pay for a hotel?
Yeah.
If you are in the middle of nowhere and you genuinely don't know anyone else, I'll get you a hotel.
Right.
But if you're like, yeah, but I was out with the girls.
I was out with this guy.
You got people.
You got people.
You got places to crash.
But if you're like, I've never been to New York City before, i'll get you a hotel but like i don't really i don't yeah like if this
this relationship and by i mean by relationship i mean that it's like it's core like what to relate
like this this friendship this relationship whatever you want to call it obviously it's
on a relationship um but this is right on its course right there's no reason to for us to be
in an apartment totally totally next up what's
going on boys uh got a question for you so i was listening to one of the old episodes about a
couple weeks back i think it was around the super bowl um but pat was talking about on long island
it's basically the culture for the night before thanksgiving um most people either go to Patchogue, Babylon,
Huntington,
but he was talking about how he got into an altercation
in Huntington. So,
it made me think about two,
maybe three years ago, I
saw an altercation happen in Huntington
across from Rose's Pizza,
but it
was the first time I ever saw somebody get curb stomped.
Jesus.
The first time?
American is 3X or maybe like a TV show or something where I'm like, oh, fuck.
Like that person got curb stomped.
That's crazy.
Seeing in real life, though, was completely different.
Like it was nuts to the point where you are smiling too much apartment
and i saw it go down and i was like holy fuck i need to go outside and like call the cops
so my question is like what is something that is portrayed in tvs and movies and is like something
that's like crazy but once you see it in real life you you're like, oh, shit. Like, that's intense.
Like, holy fuck.
Like, it's completely different once you see it in real life.
Let me know.
Bro, to be like, curb stomping is crazy in the movies.
But in real life, it's also fucking crazy.
Curb stomping is really uncomfortable.
That scene is like with the grinding
on the cement.
That is not a scene
where I'm like,
fuck yeah,
this is sick.
Although I guess
I'm saying that
and Curly's obviously
exceptionally graphic
but when I watched
The Last of Us
the other night
and Joel was like,
I'll pop your kneecap off.
I'm like,
fuck yeah, dude.
And if someone said that
in the room with me,
I'd have a little more concern.
I think there's two things.
Number one, there's just something incredibly graphic
about the idea of smashing the act of it.
And I do believe American History X
is the main thing that people think of it.
I think they invented it.
Has it ever happened anywhere else?
So there's heavy racial undertones to it also.
So the first time, to say that it's crazy to say this is my first
time ever seeing a curb stop to imply that you've seen it multiple times or that you're gonna see
it more often is fucking nuts it's the craziest thing you can do to someone like violently i
believe in my mind uh and i don't think my opinion would change of it i would only continue it like
whoa this is actually bad right this is way
worse than i thought it was gonna be it's a curb stomp you fucking psycho losing their lower jaw
now i mean what i'll say like a very easy and obvious answer is like you grow up watching
sex scenes and you realize they're not like that at all i was squirting squirting it now no it's not it's actually more of the aftermath of it yeah like oh yeah now i now i
have to sleep on the floor yeah yeah i i've had incidents uh where it's it's laughter, like straight up laughter.
Like the amount that has come out, and it's just like, whoa.
It's almost like pause.
Everything stops, and we're just like, holy shit.
That was crazy.
And then, yeah, it's just like, now fucking what?
I've had it before.
Someone say to me, it was like we finished
and then she
rolled over me.
There wasn't much bed left over there.
She rolled to the other side of me.
I didn't really have an option but to
slide into it.
She said, and I quote,
you made a mess.
You sleep in it?
You made this bed.
I don't think I... I guess I'll take the credit. you made a mess. You sleep in it? You made this bed. Literally, you sleep in it.
I don't think I, I mean, I guess I'll take the credit,
but if we want to break down who made this mess,
you made this mess.
I've had that fight, not that fight,
but the opposite of it, like who gets credit, not blame.
Yeah, yeah.
Because it's like a cool thing.
Who do you think deserves more credit when somebody squirts?
Well, this flies in the face of what my argument just was.
But yeah, like anything in life, I want the credit, not the blame.
I totally think the guy gets credit.
I would think so.
Because the notion of girls are a squirter or not a squirter.
Every time I've ever done that, I would go to the bathroom and go, you did that shit.
Yeah, yeah.
She didn't did that shit. Yeah, yeah. But I've also all but dispelled the myth on my own
that there are squirters and non-squirters.
Unless I have just had an incredibly coincidental streak.
Where it's not like I can and she can't or vice versa.
It's like you all can.
You almost all can.
Did you have Revitalite today?
You're good. Yeah, like you got to be You almost all can. Did you have Revitalite today? You're good.
Yeah, like you got to be a little hydrated.
You got to be very into it.
But if you took a couple sips, you got some body armor in you,
it's popping off.
It's popping off.
We're losing advertisers left and right today.
Bites KFC, the gang.
I got a would you rather for you.
So would you rather once every week for the rest of your life
be shot by someone hunting you down?
Won't break any bones.
You can't bleed out.
Nothing like that.
Can't die.
But you will feel all the pain from it.
The stipulation is
if you can find and shoot this guy
before he shoots you every week,
you're done for the rest of your life.
You'll never get shot at again.
Or would you rather once every quarter,
at least once every three months,
get shot and it could possibly kill you,
could possibly break your bones,
but you'd never get shot in the head anywhere
where it will instantly kill you,
which would you rather take a chance on them.
What's my guy
driving? A Mack truck, I think, right?
Is that...
It says ACK on it.
What's a Mack truck?
A Mack truck is like a big box truck.
Nah, it's like a smaller...
It's like a box truck. I know the phrase
Mack truck, and once I see him,
I go,
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
Um,
but let me just Google it real quick.
So he's saying you either,
you either get shot.
No,
Mack trucks are fucking 18 wheelers,
dude.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well,
I think that the back 18 wheels,
you can put anything you want on the front of those rigs.
Right.
But like,
but like that's the part,
right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Right. All right. My fucking guys do long haul. I like it. front of those rigs right the map is like that's the part right yeah yeah yeah yeah right right
all right my fucking guys do long haul like it so he's saying you either sign up to always get shot
frequently but you you're guaranteed to not die or you can get shot and die but i can fight back
and if i you put back in both situations. Okay.
So in one situation... I don't know.
I don't get this.
You either got to play it back or explain it to me
because I don't quite get it.
As I understand it,
it's either you basically get flesh wounds.
Okay.
Every whenever.
That's open 24-7.
Oh, okay.
Or once a quarter...
It's going to fuck you up, buddy.
It could fucking...
It could hit a gallbladder.
It could hit a liver. it could hit a spleen.
It could barrel roll through you
and tear shit up.
And then there's also this, if I catch him and shoot him first,
it's over.
Which, that one's off the table.
My Rambo?
I've fired a BB gun five times in my life,
never hit the can.
So it's just the highly inconvenient
flesh wound, gunshot wound how would
you like i wouldn't even know how to begin hunting my hunter no the only way i have a chance is if
he shoots me point blank and i the only thing i think you can do is knowing that he is coming for
you you can maybe like set up shop but i can't i I know. Also, I don't know what the background checks laws are these days.
I don't think I can get a gun.
If I can get a gun,
I'll get you a gun by 2 p.m.
They should improve background laws.
Yeah, right.
You shouldn't be able to.
So if I can't, there's a problem.
What's he been diagnosed with?
Maybe not.
I think I'll take the flesh wounds and just have constant scars and shit
and be like, I got shot again.
You'd be Mr. Unbreakable.
You'd be like a hero.
There goes John again.
He got fucking shot.
He's like got another fucking added to the list, but he's still alive.
At one point, people are going to start asking questions, though.
Yeah, clearly.
Why do you keep getting shot?
It's like this guy who's seen a bunch of curb stomps.
Yeah.
Why is this guy getting shot every day?
It's a long story.
I made a bet with a genie.
This was the better outcome.
I know you're not going to believe me.
I turned into the Black Knight from fucking Monty Python. It's just a flesh outcome. I know you're not going to believe me. I turn into the Black Knight from fucking Monty Python.
It's just a flesh wound.
The other thing is
like so it's
you're still going to
get quarterly
gunshot wounds.
Yeah.
So it's not like
it's like once every
ten years.
And one of those
could be the one
that takes you out.
That kills you.
Yeah.
So I'll take
now I guess you're
going to have to
assume that it's
like if it's 24-7
you might be getting
shot like multiple
times a day.
It's crazy.
Yeah. Like if you're just getting shot multiple times a day. It's crazy.
If you're just getting... Every day.
Guys break into the hospital to shoot you.
Come on, man.
You don't even go to the hospital.
You're just wet.
I'll be fine.
I'm allotted right now.
This is not fair.
You're literally shooting fish in a barrel.
It really is Monty Python.
Just a flesh wound.
But any scenario where you end up
dead from the most part i'm staying away from yeah because this is also like if i'm dead i'm
dead if i know i'm signing up for death fine so be it if this is just like any given moment might
be the day that i get shot in the fucking liver or the stomach or whatever it's like yeah i think
i'd be i'd be more apt i'd probably be more apt to do it
if I lived in the country
I guess if this guy's a hunter it doesn't matter
but I couldn't walk around New York City
I'd have too much anxiety
every single guy is my assassin
too many people
that's both scenarios as well
but now you're not going to die
but yeah
speaking of anxiety
We're officially off mental health
Done with it?
Done with it
We've been off it for a little while
But what was the final straw?
Calvin Ridley said that
He didn't blame his gambling
Which I think he did nothing wrong
He was in a state where gambling is legal
He bet on not his football games
The NFL has a fucking million ad deals
with gambling companies
who cares
absolutely no problem with that
but he said around the time
he's battling depression and anxiety
I don't fucking
John Morant kind of alluded to it too
like I'm going to figure out ways to handle my
I think he called it stress rather than anxiety
whatever
alright
enough
it's not the end all scapegoat
you can't blame absolutely fucking
every single thing on you
it is a little over the top
I think everything kind of jumps a shark
at some point
like any word it becomes so overused it means nothing anymore.
I think we've probably hit that with depression and anxiety.
It doesn't help depression and anxiety anymore.
It doesn't help depression and anxiety anymore.
Yeah, no.
You've overused it to the point that the people who really suffer from it are like, no, no, no, for real.
It gets diluted and it's like, yeah, all right.
I was battling depression and anxiety, so I was gambling.
What the fuck are you talking about, Cal it's it's that's that's an excuse it's like there's reasons
and there's excuses you know like sometimes you're like oh that's an excuse like no i'm just telling
you why something happened you know it's not that i'm blaming the whole thing on it and i didn't
read his full player's tribute article so maybe he explains it more eloquently than the the tweet
i read said um but the tweet i said it it was like, what are you talking about?
The Paul brothers have both blamed, or given reason,
however you want to explain it, their boxing losses on wet dreams.
I saw Jake say that.
Jake had a wet dream the night before the Fury fight.
Logan had one the night before the KSI fight.
The weirdest part of all was they both found out about it through their mother.
What?
Logan was like, I was talking to Mom,
and she told me how you had a wet dream before the Fury fight.
I had the same thing happen.
And their other co-host, George, was like,
why are you guys talking about this with your mom?
I don't think I'd tell anybody.
I get it.
I get it, though.
They call it building your batch is what Logan said.
And that you want to have all that is what Logan said and that they you know
you want to have
all that testosterone
built up
and that they both
woke up the morning of
and were like
fuck
shit
I think it was more
just like you can't
have a good day
after you wake up
with a wet dream
you can't have a good day
you wake up with a
batch of cum in your pants
still sticky
your hair gets like
twisted up
I've never had a wet dream
before
if I ever have one
I'm not coming to work
it's so fire
I'm just going back to bed it's so fire it's like the best sex you've never had a wet dream before. If I ever have one, I'm not coming to work. It's so fun. I'm just going back to bed.
It's so fire.
It's like the best sex you've ever had.
Cause in your head,
hopefully you're like fantasizing about like,
you know,
the ultimate girl or whatever.
Yeah.
Fuck her.
It feels so real.
And it's like,
yeah,
I'm fucking,
you know,
like that girl from high school.
It's happening.
I came amazing.
And then you wake up with a fucking diaper full of cum.
Shit,
man.
All right. That's it for us. We got an interview with Chael Son like, ah, shit, man. All right.
That's it for us.
We got an interview with Chael Sonnen, one of the greatest all-time talkers.
He's got the gift of gab.
Former fighter who is just, he knows who DB Cooper is.
We debate Biggie and Tupac.
We talk about how to launder money.
He stole $15 million from the government.
I mean, this guy, the stories you can tell, unbelievable.
It's Chael on KFC Radio.
Let's talk to him.
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Awesome set, buddy.
You just came over from Bob Fox?
Yes, yes.
Great guy.
One of my favorite guys. Very likable crew you're working with over here. Bob Fox? Yes. Great guy.
Very likable crew you're working with.
Bob was a 13 year old
sending us t-shirt ideas
and blog ideas back
like 10 whatever years ago.
I think it's the only place
he's ever worked.
Only place he probably ever will work.
I love those stories.
There was a guy in the UFC when it started way back in 1993,
and he found an email, which people didn't really have in 1993.
Yeah, really?
He found an email, and he started sending emails,
and he started making phone calls, and he was harassing them.
He was telling them everything they were doing wrong.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He got somebody to listen.
What the fuck is your problem?
You know, you keep telling me.
So the guy finally says, well, why don't you do it then?
So the guy does it.
So then he ends up hiring him.
And to speed the story up, his name is Joe Silva.
They couldn't pay him, so they gave him 2% of the company.
Woo, baby.
For billions of dollars.
He cashed out at $40 million.
It never worked again.
But that's how Joe Silva got that job.
He just found a contact and started calling him.
And he said, this is what you should be doing.
You know, it's so funny, though, because I've seen that go both ways.
I've found that that can rub me the wrong way where it's like you're just emailing me every day and you're not even saying anything new.
You're just like, I want a job, I want a job, I want a job.
But then sometimes, you know, catch somebody in the right mood or with the right thing.
And next thing you know, they're, you know, here's a job.
Wow, that's a great one though. I love those stories. The guy who did the painting at Facebook and said, keep the cash.
Just give me a percentage of the company or whatever.
Those are the real tales.
I actually never heard that.
Yeah, it was like some graffiti artist or something.
And it was going to be like $5,000, $10,000, whatever.
They don't have the cash.
Just give me like a percentage.
And they did.
Wow. Crazy. Wow. And they did. Wow.
Crazy.
Wow.
And they honored it?
They wrote it down?
Yeah, I believe so, yeah.
I mean, who knows?
Maybe this is internet lore.
You know, you hear these things all the time.
He made $200 million.
$200 million.
We got a guy named Bowerman.
I can't one-up that story.
That's pretty good.
But I'm in Oregon.
We got a guy in Oregon named Bowerman who gave $10,000, nothing written down, but gave $10,000
cash to a guy named Phil Knight.
And Phil was going to start something called Nike.
Yeah.
And he was just pouring rubber into a waffle maker at the time.
He was closing it and cooking it like a waffle, cutting it out.
Really?
Is that how he really was doing it?
Yeah.
Like, wow.
In his apartment.
Yeah.
On his apartment in University of Oregon.
Anyway, with nothing written down, he gave Bowerman back
$4.1 billion.
Bowerman was the coach. And could have
easily said, like, hey man, there's nothing
in writing. That's not what we agreed to.
Wow. And I love those stories when I tell you
this is the right thing. Yeah. I don't hear as much of it anymore.
I... The paycheck has to be worth something.
Agreed. Agreed. I can't...
I could never live
with myself. Like, i would be convinced of karma and
something coming back to bite me in the ass you know what i mean just just blatantly fucking
somebody over like that has to there has to be i don't know if you believe in god you believe in
aliens of anything there has to be something that balances that out in the long run because it's
such a dickhead move you know especially when you've you've got it. People justify it, though, too.
Phil Knight's worth, that's a drop in the bucket.
But how many people, if you give them 10 grand, will go, yeah, but I gave you back 10 million.
I'm a superstar. Yeah, but you owed me 2 billion.
A deal's a deal.
And I'm with you on that.
You're not worth a damn if you can't be counted on.
Now, I also
was lucky enough to come into some money
for
my job here at Barstool.
I was one of the early guys.
And I saw you talking about your money laundering skills.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Now, this is clean money, but I almost want to get some dirty money.
But that's the devil's plan.
Right.
An organized crime, the money launderer is king.
His top dog, right.
That was me.
And you were...
What operation was this?
So here, that's the funny thing
about it, is they never fully knew.
They knew there was $2.2
million missing. But then
by some other calculations, it was $8.7
million. Oh, this is your
personal money? And then it turned out there was about
$15.2. So now it's a mess.
You don't know where it is, you just know it's gone, and you know that more is in the process of being taken
and less a deal can be reached, and a deal was reached.
So it's not really about the $15.2 million that I took and washed.
It's about how much more I didn't that I was prepared to.
Really?
Yeah, we made a deal, and everybody got up and went home.
I stopped.
I stopped my addiction.
And this is just for, you know—
No, no, no, no.
Oh, no, no. This was
Robin Hood, for sure. No, they
took my grandmother's farm, you know.
But quite literally, I have a family farm.
You can go and look that up. It's at Broadacres, Oregon.
80 acres. And they took it from my grandmother because they got her
to sign some paperwork. This is what they tried to say. They said,
well, she signed here. It was called a refinance
and she didn't even know how it worked. She was at a diminished
capacity at best. Right.
And when they tried to argue that she signed,
I said, oh, that's how we're playing the game.
She had a grandson, me,
who was pretty good at getting them to sign.
And they did for $15.2 million.
And my grandmother died in that farm.
Wait, okay.
You've got to talk to me like I'm an idiot here.
That's a true story.
You just ripped through this quickly.
So slow down for me.
They took a farm from my grandmother.
And when you say they, the a farm from my grandmother The government
The government came
And she owed them some money
Based on
She signed something
She could afford the farm
She didn't need a refi
They talked her into refining
There was a lot of that going on
There was somebody coming over
Reverse mortgages
So now all of a sudden she's 60 days behind, she's getting defaults,
and she's going to get kicked out on a loan that she didn't even know that she had.
But as they said, she signed.
So she had a grandson that was a conniving son of a bitch, wouldn't you know.
And he got them to sign, and then he got them to sign again and again and again.
Then he got good at it, and he liked it.
And then he took a little fee for himself, and he bought her that farm back and a Cadillac.
And he took a little bit of a broker's fee for himself.
Just a little bit, yeah.
Robin Hood stole from the rich and gave to the poor.
I stole from the rich, but then I kept it.
Gave to myself.
It was kind of heroic.
Hell yeah.
In those terms, it was pretty heroic.
Now, was there any legal recourse because of this?
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You talk about it very openly.
Is this something –
I got a felony.
I got to go before the judge.
I got probation and these types of things.
Okay.
But no jail time or anything like that?
No jail time, and it was a fine.
It was a $10,000 fine.
So I handed them $10,000.
That's interesting.
I was going to say, you would think that the fine would be $15.2 million if they're trying to –
You would think that it would be.
You would think that it would be, but there was more coming.
It was a pretty organized plan, and there was more in the works.
And you're like a one-man operation doing this?
I did it all by myself.
Because I thought you were working for local wise guys or something like that.
11 felonies in 42 minutes one time.
Wow.
26 years old.
11 felonies in 42 minutes.
Can you believe that?
That's a lot.
Where is this income – where is this money coming from? That's a lot. Where is this income, like, where's this money coming from?
That's the thing. Where'd the money go?
That was a big problem. That was a big question that they had,
too. Where did the money go? Well, then they hypothesized,
though. They hypothesized. I mean,
from digital currency, which wasn't really known back
then, and then they're taking passports and looking at a guy
that travels a lot.
Where did the money go? That was a big
problem as to why they really wanted to stop.
It was reached.
It stopped.
Everybody knew what they said they would do.
Yeah.
I was also, I mean, in fairness to the story, I was in the lead.
I was running for public office, but I was also winning.
I was crushing.
In Westland.
I was running for state congress.
I would have represented Westland, but for our state assembly.
And I came through the primary, and I was just getting ready for the general election so there was other reasons
they were trying to give me a hard time in all fairness i mean i really felt it's funny how
underhanded you get into the world of politics and money and it's you know even at whatever level
yeah no well i thought it was very underhanded i mean on one hand i i did take the money and
washed it that's true but i did it in retaliation to what they did to my grandma.
Sure.
I mean, eye for an eye.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And they were a little bit level-headed.
I mean, they halfway understood that.
So you're 26 years old and you're doing this.
Yeah.
Did you – have you ever – had you ever done anything?
No.
Like, at that age, I would not have the confidence nor the mind or the means to be like, I'm going to go run these guys for $15 million.
Were you going to like – did you scam them and you're like, wait a minute, that worked.
And if I keep doing this, I can really run it.
To a degree.
To a degree the way that you said it is true.
Yes.
I thought this was going to get known on the very first deal.
I'm going to buy her farm back.
Then everybody is going to yell at each other over the $900,000.
And then it just,
then I enjoyed it.
Yeah.
But again,
so where's like,
I enjoyed taking them.
Was there a business
that was,
this money was coming from?
Like,
was the farm generating money?
Like,
where is,
Oh,
well,
the farm did,
oh,
like,
how did I wash it?
Like,
what were the,
yeah,
yeah,
yeah.
What's like the,
again,
it gets a little bit,
no one knew.
That's the thing.
So,
you know,
Breaking Bad famously,
they had the car wash. I had a fight. They would just sit there. Okay. So there's the thing. So Breaking Bad famously, they had the car wash.
I had a fight promotion.
And they would just sit there.
Okay, so you was the fight promotion guy.
No.
No, but that's what they looked into.
So that was a great diversion.
One of the things that fight promotions were used for all the way through the 50s and 60s
was the government had to step in in the first place to start regulating.
I mean, think about how filthy a sport is when the government has to regulate it.
The government doesn't regulate any sport.
Not in a free country.
They do in communist regimes, but not not in free except here and except fighting but one of the reasons they had to
do that is uh it was so used for money laundering now i had a fight promotion that was very well
known it was very successful but so that's where they looked and they were wrong it wasn't it
wasn't so guys but that took all their attention away you know that took all their focus over there
they would use boxing and fighting as a way to, you know, in the sense of like how much
I'm paying this boxer X, Y, Z amount of dollars and he's paying for this.
The promoter's getting that and just money moving everywhere.
Yeah, well, kind of.
I mean, it's a cash business.
You brought up Breaking Bad.
That only works because it's a cash business of the car.
I'm sorry.
I thought that you understood this, but let me back up just a step further.
So if you're doing a fight promotion, you will advertise it, you'll put a flyer
out, you'll let people know. And then you have
to pay the state 6%, so you
will come in and you will tell them we had a walk-up
at the door. We had 10,000 people
walk up at the door at $20 a piece.
I have $200,000.
Here it is, and here's your 6%.
So I now give them 12%, but I
just cleaned the rest of the money.
I've always wondered, though, something like that doesn't get audited?
Like the next time you run a fight
do they send someone in and be like
there was no walkout but they just don't.
Yeah, they could. Now again
the government stepped in a long time ago
back in the 50s and 60s and 70s
they just did it.
And still to this day we still have
a lot of boxing promoters and a lot of fight promoters
that are nothing more than money laundering. That's true yeah but you would still need somebody to check
and then you know how are you going to audit that so like in the it looked like there was a hundred
people there you said there was five thousand who knows right yeah it's one of those things you know
sold tickets they didn't show up though that kind of shit uh so a guy like don king like he as far
as i knew like general casual fan he was the the first mega promoter that I think the general public kind of knew.
Would you agree with that?
Yeah.
Is that like a clean operation when you reach that level?
Yes.
Well, that just wasn't what Don did.
I mean, Don was a very corrupt guy.
Is he a murderer guy?
Yeah, he did some time in prison for that.
He robbed Mike Tyson.
His word was no good.
But he was not sophisticated or organized enough to work at that level.
The launderer is the smart guy.
Yeah, that's right.
He was just kind of a dirtbag that talked fast.
Don did a good job at what that was.
But no, I can't say that he was putting on events and laundering.
Was there ever a desire to do it again?
Oh, yeah. Let me find another grandma. Let me find another person who deserves some help. Was there ever a desire to like Do it again? Oh yeah
Let me find another grandma
Let me find another
You know
Person who deserves
Some help
Oh yes
Yes
I mean
Are you doing it right now, Joe?
There was a very heroic feel to it
No, no, no
Yeah, that really has got to be like a
I fucking
I got one over on you
The biggest motherfuckers in the world
That's right
Well, they knew that
I mean, this whole thing
When you make a deal
The whole thing gets done in a room like this
It's very quiet And you go make a deal But they knew that. I mean, this whole thing, when you make a deal, the whole thing gets done in a room like this. It's very quiet, and you
go make a deal. But they acknowledge that. Hey, we
see what happened here. But
we still represent them. I see you represent
the wrong side. You know, this whole FDIC,
everything you're doing, talking about the housing collapse
and the regular person, you're the scumbags. You're the
scumbags on the other end of the phone. You're the biggest organized crime in the fucking
world. That's right. Every single one of these that I did,
I'm talking to a bank in Chicago,
in Maryland, in New York.
That person disappears.
That person doesn't have a badge number, a seat number.
Their name isn't on anything.
They disappear.
And they're the ones that told me how to send that paperwork over.
The government was very much on the wrong side of that in that regard.
And then there was dirty, filthy people like me that got greedy too.
That's also a side of it.
I feel like almost –
By the way, can I tell you something?
You did such a great job. i didn't even know we'd started
you cut a promo yesterday i saw it yesterday i believe it was you cut a promo though about
the jake paul yeah it was so good and you said something in there and it changed it the whole
thing was just genius the whole thing was vince mcmahon-esque but at one point you put a little sprinkle of so people have told me yeah almost as though you didn't know almost
as though it wasn't even worth and i just watched and i go now that's a genius well you know the
thing is that was honesty because i don't know the fight game that well and i know bob fox uh my man
large there's a bunch of guys here who do know. And so as I'm watching that fight, I'm texting them.
Here's what I'm thinking, but I don't know what the score is.
And I don't know who, you know, was that a good fight, bad fight, blowout?
Was it close?
And so, you know, I got some info from them.
And then I went to do it.
And I realized I was kind of, you know, just spitting what they told me.
So I was like, at least that's what they say.
Can't pin it to me.
That was what was so great.
There was just a little bit of an arm's reach.
There was really no way to rebuke it.
Once you sprinkled in, so I've been told.
And I was just like, oh my God, he's good.
What did you think of that?
Well, I'm into the whole thing.
See, I sit on the other side of the fence.
A lot of people really hate this and they're against it.
And I think that the show that the Paul brothers have brought has been fun.
It's the circus.
It's wrestling.
It's fighting.
It's entertainment.
Yeah.
If you don't like that, you don't like fun.
Sure.
I can also see the other side.
You're a purist.
You're coming up in that game and you're fighting blood, sweat, and tears.
And then some guy who has followers on YouTube gets the other big show.
But I believe you have to pay your dues to get to the top of anything. and tears and then some guy who has followers on youtube gets sure a big show but you know like
i believe you have to pay your dues to get to the top of anything and where you pay your dues
is kind of blurry these days you know so yeah you were in the gym he was grinding out internet
content he made more fans and more money than you and like he can parlay that over here but it's not
like he was just handed this he He grinded in a different arena.
But I could see if you're really into the purity of the game
and of the fight game and you watch some of his technique and all that,
it's probably like, oh, come on.
But, you know, there's good boxers, bad boxers.
As long as it's somewhat of an even fight,
and we've seen him do it with older people, retired people,
and now it was finally like a younger guy who's on the come up.
What's the harm?
To me, it's nothing more than like I don't like that you are succeeding.
Right.
It's just pure hate, you know what I mean?
I love that you said that.
In all fairness, boxing is my second favorite sport.
I like amateur wrestling.
It follows my boxing. But, I mean, I is my second favorite sport. I like amateur wrestling. It follows my
boxing. But I mean, I was very committed to it. My father and I, we had a dream. I was going to
pursue and try to make an Olympic team in 2000 for boxing. I was very into it. And I was 28 years
old when I met my first boxer. I was a professional fighter and turned professional in 1997. I didn't
turn 28 until 2005. I used to live at the Olympic Training Center, which has a boxing program. And
I will repeat for you, I met my first boxer at 28. The first time in my life, I had met a man who had
put on gloves and on a Saturday night got in and stood in the ropes opposite another man. I was
28 years old. And I think when most people hear that story, they're going to go, yeah, you're
right, Chael. Most people don't even know a boxer. I know a guy that boxes. No, I don't think you do.
Don't tell me you're a bus driver or your neighbor. You know a guy who hits a bag at the gym for fun.
You tell me a guy that you know that put on the gloves and got in there on a Saturday,
and most people don't know him.
And the only reason I bring that to you is if you want to be a top ten boxer in the world,
raise your hand.
Nobody's boxing.
I don't even know where a gym is.
I don't know where a coach is.
I don't know where to take my son.
I don't even know what sporting goods store to go to to get him the gloves and the mouthpiece.
It's really not a real sport.
It's truly not.
It's done a terrible job.
And also, even at its
peak, it was, like you said, a money laundering
device or whatever.
So it's been, I would say,
with Wilder and Fury
and the Paul brothers, it's had this little
revival. But for the most part, it was dead
and gone. So why are we
not celebrating anybody?
If you like boxing, you should be happy for any
reason that people are buying pay-per-views again and and and paul and i think jay paul's very smart
about he puts on younger boxers and uh what's her name amanda um whoever i know who you're talking
about the girl who had like you know she got her her big celebration after like a long career he
put her in his pay-per-view he's very smart about giving back to it so katie taylor's a girl named
katie taylor there's amanda something they bought each other right sold out yeah because of him and after a long career. He put her in his pay-per-view. He's very smart about giving back to it. Katie Taylor. There's a girl named Katie Taylor.
There's Amanda something. They fought each other.
And they sold out.
Paul was a big part of that.
They get to fight in front of a sold-out crowd.
Everyone knows their name.
They do that not out of the goodness of their heart,
but out of business as well.
Smart business, guys. They're good.
The internet is very
similar to the fight game in in the sense of like you know
how you hype yourself up and build an audience and then the product we deliver is is different but
it's it's all the same shit and i i it's funny that people don't seem to recognize that have
you been around the pauls have you ever i i know logan okay logan's always been very good to me
uh i don't know jake i um The coolest guy of my lifetime is The Rock.
The Rock would be the guy that the other guys are like, hey, that's a cool guy.
And I came home, the first time I met Logan, I came home and I told my wife,
I said, it's going to take 10 years, but I might have today met the guy
that at some point will be cooler than The Rock.
And it was Logan.
There was just an aura.
There was something about him.
Jake's a great guy, too.
I'm sharing with you, there was something about Big Brother. There was something. When he came in the room, you it was Logan. There was just an aura. There was something about him. Jake's a great guy, too. I'm sharing with you.
There was something about Big Brother.
There was something.
When he came in the room, you could feel it.
And I don't like to say it about other guys.
I mean, I got an ego, too.
I want to be cooler than the Rock.
I don't want to say it's going to be this guy.
No, definitely.
But the Pauls have something.
There's something there.
I think it takes Logan and Jake, but both of them are very young still and were, obviously,
even younger when they first started out.
So people don't want to say that about 18, 19, 20, 22, 23-year-old guy. But when you're doing it that young and you've been doing it since you could function and you're good at it, they're going to succeed.
They're not going to stop.
And, I mean, the fact that I'll go box.
I'll go wrestle.
We'll do crypto. We'll do this. We'll do that. And I mean, the fact that I'll go box, I'll go wrestle, you know,
we'll do crypto.
We'll do this.
We'll do that.
And they run into their ups and downs, but that's,
that's part of having your whole life and your whole business enterprise,
like put out there.
You know,
I don't think people,
people realize how hard that is to like,
what are you never going to fail?
I'm going to be a businessman from 18 to my death.
Of course,
I'm going to have screw ups and some slip ups.
Sure.
I mean,
it's Logan Paul in the wrestling ring though. Might, might be even more impressive than Jake in the boxing ring.
I totally agree with that.
And wrestling in general doesn't get that same level of respect because it's fake and all that.
The fact that he just jumped in and is high-flying, taking bumps, all the shit that real wrestlers do, it's fucking amazing.
And claims he never trained.
Did you hear that claim?
I mean, I can't imagine it. Jim Cornette called that on him jim cornett goes wait a minute this guy's
never trained but here's the problem with it with the world of social media the trainers would have
wanted credit the workout partners would have wanted credit whoever's gym it was would have
want there would have been a photo there was none nobody ever said i saw him in the gym no one said
i worked with him no one ever took a picture right so when he claims i never trained you kind of
scratch your head and go,
God damn, is he telling the truth?
I mean, they are, you know, they were like high school wrestlers, right?
Like top level, state level, you know?
So they obviously are athletic.
I wonder, they probably just got a fucking wrestling ring in one of their mansions
and they're just fucking high flying, jumping around all the time.
What a, I mean, what a.
It's a good way to keep a secret, right?
If it's you and your brother.
We'll just keep it hidden over there, yeah.
With what time? When did he have time to do i mean it is crazy it really is pretty impressive
you know the bumps you were talking about taking those hot man those are hard spots while keeping
the reaction of the crowd i love the people who say it's fake and it's like okay it's fake but
like go jump off the fucking table and land on the ground right now and tell me how that feels
you know it's still having a cooperation as opposed
to resistance and fake are not the same thing right it still happens yes that's happening
yeah it's not a figment of your imagination um people still get injured people you know tear
this and that all the time that to me is just you don't like those guys because they're young
and they're rich and they're cocky about it sure but
there's nothing they're not bad people they're not you know criminals they're not there's a lot
people have done way worse that are you know given a free pass or whatever so i never understood that
but i i guess i do understand people just saying now that guy's a punk you know because that's
always it's how the world works right like old guys call young guys and that's just it yeah but
trying to get attention for money
That game's been around for a long time
Putting your body on the line
Actually taking the risk
I see it the way you see it
There's something in the gym here
That we have to go
Good job guys
I see it the same way
I know you've talked about this before
But I can't not bring it up
We gotta talk DB Cooper I know you've talked about this before, but I can't not bring it up. Sure.
We got to talk D.B. Cooper.
Yeah.
I'm into that kind of stuff, whether you call it true crime or conspiracy theories and mysteries and all that.
I'm big into it.
And so you know, you say you know who D.B. Cooper was.
He died.
To the extent that the FBI has spoken to you?
No. Is that true? No. I thought I saw
a YouTube that said the FBI reached out to me
about... Okay, there's some truth.
Yes, but hold on.
I got a phone call, but I think I might have been catfished.
I got a phone call from somebody that said they're with the FBI.
They told me the unit
that we used to work on, they said, Chael, just so you understand,
nobody's ever going to call you. There was only two of us
to start with. We both long left. There was no open file on D.B. Cooper
because I always thought it was a little weird that the FBI wasn't contacting me. I mean, I'm out.
I wrote a book about it. And I've given a number of details as well, but they're details that nobody
else has given. For example, about every 10 years, there's a new story that comes along on D.B. Cooper,
but it's the same thing. It's a new producer. It's the exact same information. Even with the Freedom of Information Act,
they haven't gotten anything new in 30 years on this,
and I had two new pieces.
So I even said this publicly.
I said, I feel like we're in a game of chicken
because I want to be contacted.
I want them to beg me.
I want them to ask me what I know.
I want to go through the whole thing.
You want to be wooed.
That's right.
You want to be blind and dying.
That's exactly right.
I want to make a deal.
I want to get a little something.
I want to pardon for stealing the $15.2 million.
Maybe, but I have these kinds of fans. They don't even call me. They don't even reach out.
So I go, okay, I'll go first. I'll give you two things.
Two things that you, the FBI, knows that
you've never told. I'll go first. So you can
verify that. Yeah, so that I could prove.
And then I did get the phone call. I did get the phone call
from the person who said, just so you
understand, there was only two of us to begin
with. In this case, there is nobody
over there in langley
that that even has an open file on this yeah but um i did have a couple of details one of the big
things is there was really only one eyewitness to this and it was the woman that he took there
was there was one flight attendant i think he even handcuffed himself to her a number of people gave
eyewitness testimony but they really never saw him and he was just a customer that passed through
this woman was with him start to finish and on on day one, she said, he's Hispanic.
And the internet wasn't around.
Twitter wasn't a thing.
Facebook wasn't a word.
Getting your message out was tough.
And she told anyone that would listen, which wasn't very many people, he's Hispanic.
And where she had the ethnicity wrong is he was Indian.
And so she saw those dark features and whatnot.
And where he jumped, a big deal was they didn't think he could get out.
It was forest between wolves and bears and all this ridiculous dish you hear about that
he just simply couldn't get out.
And it was government land, thousands upon thousands of acres, but it backed to Indian
land.
And that is where he camped every single summer growing up.
He jumped into his backyard.
I maintain that he was home for dinner, that his wife didn't even know he was gone.
I personally believe he had a motorcycle hidden down there,
and that that's how he got out of the woods.
That's me adding to it.
I don't know about that.
Is that just a speculation?
That's how you would have done it?
Or do you have reason to believe?
He used to race motorcycles.
He was super into dirt bikes, so I just speculated about this.
His wife lives back in Salem, Oregon now,
and she
does not have the foggiest idea that that he was db cooper uh and i know that his nephews and i
said this has anybody ever approached her and said it no and i asked my mother i said hey if i if i
went down to susan's house and i asked to come in i said uh and i told her what i think and here's
why what would happen to me?
And my mom said she would slap you, and she would kick you out of her house.
She has no idea, and she would be terribly offended.
She would not think that was cool.
And when the composite, you know, there's a sketch, and it's an artist.
It was him, and my aunt asked me about it. So that composite is accurate?
Oh, yeah.
And my aunt, well, except it's not a Caucasian.
You've got to put it with the dark features.
And so that was a little bit that was tough, that as soon as you hear that, you go, oh, my goodness.
But my aunt asked him flat out.
She said, are you D.B. Cooper?
They're all having dinner.
And she said, are you D.B. Cooper?
And he said no.
But the way that he said no, the tremble in his voice, the eye contact, this is what everybody did.
Oh, crap.
My aunt was only part serious when she asked it until he said no.
Why did they
speculate like well the picture had come out and then the bigger clue that they had i mean don't
forget this guy's from portland they db cooper boarded the plane in portland um but uh they were
from a very small town like the graduating class was of like 13 or 50 it was really everybody knew
each other they hadn't even seen an airplane let alone been on an airplane. It was a really small town. They hadn't even seen an airplane, let alone been on an airplane. And this was a
very close friend of theirs, and it turned out he was
taking skydiving lessons. So, they didn't
even know that anyone in this hometown had seen
an airplane, let alone traveled somewhere.
He's taking skydiving and didn't tell his
friends. I mean, that would have been huge news.
Where's that kind of shit going down, though, if he's in such a small town?
It went down in Aurora, was the name of the airport.
And there's an airport, and there's places you could do it.
You would just think that you would share that with your friends.
I have a pretty exciting life.
And if I would jump from an airplane, I would find a way to mention that to you.
Yeah, yeah, right, right.
Like that's a really exciting thing to do.
But if you were planning a heist, you wouldn't.
Yeah, and so it came out and they found a photo and then they had to go back and ask him.
And he kind of tried to downplay it.
They're like, this is unbelievable.
He's jumping from airplanes and he's not telling anybody that he's doing it.
And then a number of years later, this happens.
The picture comes out.
It looks like him.
So when my aunt asked and he said that it wasn't him, he then came to my uncle's house a few days later.
And he said, hey, about dinner, about what Paul had asked me.
He said, she's not the only one.
The FBI has been in my house.
So keep it down.
I'm leaving town.
And he did.
He left and went to Arizona for about seven and a half years
now right now on a federal charge so what you're in arizona versus oregon but there was a different
time man the 70s was a very different time you could rob a bank move two towns away and you're
gone in general i think about that all the time like you can't do anything now and start over
right you can't get away from an ex you can't start a new job you can't start a new
life you know it's like it literally used to be like well you know uh i fuck this life up like
i'll let me move down here and i'm you know start over yep and everything's so interconnected now
uh i almost can't fathom that life i mean i'm like how old you uh yeah so we're like i'm 38 in in a couple weeks like right on that edge
thank you of um of you know we we are in the internet era but we remember life prior to it
but you know decades before that the idea of like i feel like you can get away with anything yes
then you know including you know yeah robbing people jumping out of a plane that's right including including it's such a hijacking it's such a strange crime though it's a very unique crime to like set out to do
no like what was his motivation yeah i agree i think there's easier ways to go about stealing
some money yeah and it was only two hundred thousand dollars right i mean there's even more
to that what he did with the money i mean i i could expand on this story but maybe that's the
part where i'm waiting for the fbi to contact me and not tell him everything.
But they ended up pinning on a guy.
There was a guy that had robbed at least a bank.
And they killed him in a shootout.
The cops ended up killing him in a shootout after he'd done some heist.
And so they go, oh, he was D.B. Cooper, too.
That was him, so they can check that box.
Yeah, it got a little bit weird.
I mean, they did that with the—who was that untalented guy that people say was great?
He was a singer.
Tupac.
Tupac.
They do that with the Tupac thing where they never arrested the guy that killed him, but
they go, well, but we know who it was, and he's dead, so it's case closed.
It's like, yeah, fair enough.
I mean, it's a very common thing that the police do when they get beat.
Right.
They don't want to have open cases.
It's –
Why did people think he was so good?
What did he do that was so good?
What song did he sing that was so good?
I'm not going to take any Tupac slander here.
What I will tell you.
What would be a song that he sang that was good?
Can I show you something even more interesting?
In the rap world?
Yes.
Sounds, are you not that big of a rap fan?
I used to like rap a lot.
Okay.
I used to.
So, you know, you're familiar with Biggie.
Sure.
Juicy.
Yeah, yeah, that's right.
Juicy.
Juicy.
Okay.
Listen to this.
Oh, that's you on my TikTok right there.
This is not Biggie.
Okay.
It's a man named The Notorious B1.
Okay.
A.K.A. Big Daddy.
Okay.
In Mississippi in 1993.
Oh, he came along before?
Before this comes out.
So he's Notorious B1, Big Daddy.
We have
Notorious B.I.G., Big Papa.
The same song.
He's a bigger guy. Same sort of
flow. The only thing I
found, I see this TikTok, a couple
podcasts, music podcasts have
mentioned it nobody really dove any deeper uh the only thing i found is like a screenshot of an email
so that's allegedly from this guy okay and he said yes we obviously saw what was going on i
was down in mississippi i was working for dragon records was my label we we
like knew what was going on and we were you know trying to stop it or or you know get in contact
with him and then he got murdered and we left it alone okay between 94 and 97 when he got murdered
is he's being heralded as the greatest rapper ever sure and this guy doesn't come out and say anything doesn't try to you know
make his his records known but it was right before that era of like now that person will be on the
internet the next day like this is my song you know but i also think there's a chance that this
was you know done intentionally and that guy was paid off or whatever sure but that that's too much
that song that sound and the name is too much for me.
I hear what you're saying, but I don't personally know of any one-of-ones.
I mean, The Rock isn't a one-of-one.
Hulk Hogan wasn't a one-of-one.
Ric Flair wasn't a one-of-one.
Elvis Presley didn't write his own music.
I mean, I've never really understood that.
People try to do that for me.
They'll have a great line.
They'll come in and Joe Rogan's big into this,
saying about stealing a joke.
It's like, Joe, I've never sat around and written a joke in my life.
Every joke I've ever told,
I'm a pretty funny guy. I took from somebody else.
What are you talking about?
You don't own that stuff.
And you have people that try to say,
oh, it's intellectual property.
It's like, man, you're a dork.
There's nothing intellectual.
You do your bit and I'll do mine.
And if you do your bit
and I think it's better than mine,
I'm going to take yours
and I'm going to do it louder
and one of us is going to win
and it's probably going to be me.
Elvis Presley didn't write those songs,
but there's a reason he's up there
wearing the jumpsuit.
But I just bring that to you
because so what if B.I.G. got influenced or ripped this guy
out?
This guy didn't know, you know.
It's one of those things where you spot somebody, you see what they do.
I'm picking up manners that you're doing today.
I just told you about one where you sprinkled the thing.
I'm going to go and use that.
I'm not going to pay you 10%.
I'm not even going to pay you a thank you.
I'm going to rip you off.
If you're good, people rip you off.
This is true, and you can wear it like a badge of honor
but when you get nothing from it and they if you know you could argue that this guy
like to me i would say why does this guy not become big right and it's probably because
puffy and the guys he worked with were like i
know this guy and not that one but i i would hope that there was some some sort of like yeah we took
your style here's some money for it here's a percentage of what we're gonna make you know
because to me like you said about uh you know somebody would speak by now there would be
somebody would have come out and said yes like i worked with b1 and we made this song first
unless someone said if you ever speak up you, you have to pay all the money back or there's going to be consequences or whatever.
Maybe.
I just wonder how much of that shit went on back in the day when you couldn't get your word out there.
Sure.
I just don't know who the cooler guy is.
I mean, it's like from the social network, the movie.
Maybe I'm thinking of this because you mentioned Facebook earlier.
But when Zuckerberg tells those dorky twins that stole all the Bitcoin, if you created Facebook, you would have created
Facebook.
I mean, I think there's a lot of truth to that.
It's like, what did this guy do wrong?
Who did he not know how to call?
What context did Biggie have on the streets of New York that this guy didn't have out
in Mississippi?
And maybe there's an answer to that.
Right.
But everybody gets influenced.
There is no such thing as gimmick infringement.
Everybody gets influenced by somebody.
Muhammad Ali was influenced.
I totally agree with that.
If they tell the truth truth it all goes back if you're paying homage to to some fat
black guy that was good with with lyrics it sounds like a compliment not an insult right
right right no i i definitely believe in that idea of like i if especially when it comes to
comedy and just talking on a podcast or telling a story or telling a joke and it's like you made
that up or it's fake or you stole
it it's like you know what if i were to sit around and write some of these stories then i'm a fucking
world-class writer you know what i mean and if i'm if i this is fake i'm a world-class actor
so i'll take that compliment because i couldn't even make up some of the shit that you know the
things that have happened and the stories we're telling. So which is it?
Is it that it's real or that you think I'm a fucking mastermind entertainer that can, you know, make up this lie and have this career?
So I think, again, to bring it all back to the beginning, it's haters.
It is.
Just don't let them see people who are charismatic and successful, and you're definitely one of them, man.
I appreciate that.
I could talk to you forever.
But who would be the insult?
That's what I'm asking.
The guy that ripped him off, he wasn't original, but he got over,
versus the original guy, but he didn't know who to contact to get his message.
I mean, I don't know who the cool guy is.
I want to be embarrassed to take someone's idea.
I don't think it'll ever be an issue anymore because I think, you know,
like in basketball there was Earl the Goat Manigault,
who was just like this unbelievable player who never made it to the league because he had life issues.
There was people that had talent that never got in front of an executive or whatever.
That's done now because that person is going to get on TikTok, that person is going to go viral, and that person is going to be found out. I think that now, of course, there's going to be some people,
but the chances of there being world-class talent anywhere in any industry
and it just goes unfound, I don't think is going to be a thing anymore anyway.
I think that's right.
This guy was probably one of the last generation that could have that happen.
But, man, that's going to suck.
Yeah.
No, I hear what you're saying.
I don't know.
I don't know if there's a value that comes with it it somebody else took your idea and did something with it you had
an idea you did nothing with i don't get it i'm with the person that turned it into money that
did it yeah yep amen brother um appreciate the time man i mean you know can i tell you something
before we go sure did you know that uh bellator's got a grand prix coming up did you know we're
gonna do this on march 10th this is not showtime this is bellator mma so it's a million dollars a million dollars goes to the winner eight-man tournament and're going to do this on March 10th? This is not showtime. This is Bellator MMA. So it's a million dollars. A million dollars goes to the
winner. Eight-man tournament. And guys
used to do eight-man tournaments. It's something that
our sport has gotten away from, which is very sad.
It's really a sport about politics now.
It's about who can draw, who can position
themselves. It's the power of the pen. And I understand
those things. But one thing that
fighting and pugilists don't have anymore,
aside from the Olympic Games, is a tournament
where everybody that says they're so tough, great, let's put you all together and let's just find out in a, aside from the Olympic Games, is a tournament where everybody says they're so tough.
Great, let's put you all together and let's just find out in a straight line bracketed
format, just like the NCAA does, just like the Olympics does.
And Scott Coker is doing that.
So we've counted down to eight guys.
Five of them used to be world champions.
There are five former world champions and the sitting, reigning, undefeated world champion
named Nurmagomedov, a name that you might be familiar with
for being undefeated champions at this weight class.
And they're all going to get in there one after the next.
We're going to start this thing on March 10th.
The winner's going to get the world championship.
The winner's going to get $1 million.
It's all going down on Showtime.
So how does it work?
One V8 to start, and then what's the time?
You're exactly right.
So we'll start in the quarterfinals.
So of course, take us to the semis
and then to the uh the championship
and i think that's going to take about in one event no it's going to take about 12 months okay
i was going to say this is like yeah all right to play the whole thing out to have your champion
your million dollar check will be about 12 months got it very cool though but it starts on march 10th
just so you know beautiful all right that i mean that's the sort of stuff that i think the fight
game does need uh especially like drawing on something like March Madness, where it's like, I get
this. I know this. I can watch this
tournament, and it hooks me for
a year. It keeps me interested. I love it,
dude. By the way, you got a sponsorship?
Yeah, we... What do you got here?
We got Whistlepicks. So this is a whiskey that...
Oh, I see. They came to us.
Piggyback! Yeah, they came to us,
and we did our own bottle. I don't know if
one of these these are
their regular front one is this is ours if you would like some no i just i just would like this
was our uh we we went up to their beautiful farm and we did a tasting and this is our it's our 10
year anniversary was last summer yeah and um we we picked out you know out of their different um
all the different mixes and whatnot all the different barrels this is what we picked out out of their different – all their different mixes and whatnot, all their different barrels.
This is what we picked out.
So this is our anniversary bottle.
They are – they came to us and said, we want to work with you.
I was like, okay.
I always say –
Like what a coincidence.
Yeah.
I always say – to go back to Phil Knight, it's like if Nike comes to you and says like, you want to wear our shoes?
It's like, you want to do Whistlepig Whiskey?
Yeah.
So yeah, that's what we're about.
But if you'd ever love any, if you ever like any, we'd love to send it to you.
I appreciate it.
That's very good.
I'm glad that I brought that up.
And, boy, that smelled powerful.
Did you like it?
Yeah, my father was a drinker.
D.B. Cooper was a drinker, by the way.
True story.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
I mean, I bet that dude has a lot of stories.
He only took $200,000.
I mean, if I was in his spot, I would have taken more than $200,000.
Was there more to take, though? I don't know. Because then you get greedy, right? I mean, you're was in his spot, I would have taken more than $200,000. Was there more to take, though?
I don't know.
Because then you get greedy, right?
I mean, they're going to park the jumbo jet, and they've got to bring it to you in a briefcase.
And then you've got to whip parachutes.
Maybe if you said a million dollars, I don't know.
There's a tipping point there.
Yeah, probably where all of a sudden the cops don't rest.
That's right.
Or maybe it's a weight thing, even just carrying the cash.
There's a dye pack.
Yeah, right.
Very interesting.
I mean, he didn't get greedy.
Maybe he was going in volume.
He's going to do a whole bunch of planes.
We'll turn off the mics now, and you'll tell me the two pieces of evidence?
Sure.
I'll tell you with the mics going.
Okay.
Well, the Indian is one of them.
They haven't given out.
They continue to tell this flight attendant.
They continue to silence her.
I believe she's still alive today, but she is very quiet about it,
unless somebody goes up and asks her.
She will tell you from Jump Street
I told them it was not a Caucasian.
That story just never went out. That's not even the
FBI's official take on it.
And two is speculation, is the
motorcycle. I think that that's how he got
out. And the fact that it
was government land that backs to
Indian land, that's also not told in any of the documentaries.
That can simply be Googled and looked up and proven,
but they never have mentioned it until I did
Do you have any third and fourth?
Nah, that's all I got
Alright, thank you brother, appreciate it man
Great stuff
You're awesome, thanks buddy សូវាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប� Thank you. Bye.