KFC Radio - The Gang Solves Global Issues - Full Episode
Episode Date: October 1, 2024The Gang solves global issues including the constructs of society and government, fixing the Ozone and Bee populations, the rising prices in New York, religion, freeing Al Capone, and much more. If yo...u are here for an actual intellectual conversation on these topics then don't bother watching because we have no idea what we're talking about. Feits also tells a hilarious story from his weeked and his spider-man shower powers. KFC is preparing himself for back to back Mets streams with Frank the Tank. . Timecodes: 0:00 Feits' friend's brutal wake up call 11:06 Sleeping naked 17:01 Are children sociopaths? 40:43 We figured out the OZone and the Bees 46:13 KFC has two back to back Mets steams with Frank the Tank 49:43 Free Al Capone 01:02:32 Is now the best time to be alive in the history of the world? 01:09:51 RIP Kris Kristofferson 01:13:25 Video Voicemails 01:18:57 Fishbowl Starts Today 01:24:23 Feits wont drop the soap ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Presented by Jackpocket: New customers, use code KFC and you’ll get your first ticket free at https://jackpocket.onelink.me/sY17/KFC GAMBLING PROBLEM? CALL 1-800-GAMBLER, NY Call 877-8-HOPENY or text HOPENY. 18 or older (19+ in Nebraska, 21+ in Arizona). Void where prohibited. Promo code required for $2 non-withdrawable credit. Prize amount may differ at time of drawing. Terms jackpocket.com/tos/free-ticket-promo/ Gametime: Download the Gametime app today and use code KFC to easily score great deals with the new Gametime Picks! Helium: Get 1 month FREE with code KFC at https://hellohelium.com/kfc Express: Use code SADBOYSZN for an extra 20% off your purchase online or in storeYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
No!
It's like three other people in the house, and I'm already dying laughing.
KFC Radio is presented to you by Jack Pocket.
Jack Pocket.
It is the greatest thing that's ever happened to me.
Every day I think I'm hitting the lottery.
I just walk around like I got a secret from the world. I got Jack Pocket tickets in my pocket.
I am going to win Mega Millions.
Whatever you say is not important to me
because i'm about to be a mega millionaire jackpocket makes it easier than ever to order
national and state lottery tickets right on your phone for a chance to win big when the number gets
up there you know we've all done it you know some people play the lottery more often than others but
everyone's got a certain threshold we're like well this is worth a shot it's basically like
that all the time now.
It is always huge numbers.
And Jackpocket lets you choose your own numbers so you can use the quick pick feature.
You also get a photo of your lottery ticket and the serial number right on the app.
So you know it's legit.
No having to rush out when you hear the number.
No having to brave the elements. And say if it's tough, you just take out your phone buy two dollars five dollars
whatever ten ten dollars worth of tickets and you are good to go you are on your way to potentially
winning millions half a billions billions sometimes the numbers get bananas high so get the app right
now new customers use code kfc and you get your first ticket for free also those two dollars ten
dollars whatever i was talking about don't even matter to you you get a first ticket for free. Also, those $2, $10, whatever I was talking about, don't even matter to you.
You get a free ticket to a new life.
Free ticket to a new life.
Just download Jack Pocket today
and use code KFC,
Jack Pocket, America's number one lottery app
and official partner of Barstool Sports.
Gambling problem?
Call 1-800-GAMBLER.
New York, call 877-8-HOPE-NY
or text HOPE-NY.
18 or older, 19 plus in Nebraska, 21 plus in Arizona.
Void where prohibited.
Promo code required for $2 non-withdrawable credit.
Prize amount may differ at time of drawings.
Terms jackpocket.com slash TOS slash free dash ticket dash promo slash.
It's another edition of KFC Radio on the Barstool Sports Network.
I had worlds collide this weekend with Feidelberg at a wedding. Yeah. It's another edition of KFC Radio on the Barstool Sports Network.
I had worlds collide this weekend with Feidelberg at a wedding.
Yeah.
It's always funny when that happens.
This was the best.
It's pretty rare that it happens, first of all.
When Barstool World collides with your real-life world.
Or your, eh, it's not real.
But you know what I mean.
Outside of Barstool World colliding with your Barstool World. your friends outside of Barstool, colliding with your Barstool friends.
It could not have scripted it better with the people that met Feidelberg at a wedding.
And once I heard that they were at the same wedding, it all made sense.
Yeah, you said that.
Because I knew who was getting married, and I knew that my friends lived in the same city as them,
and they're like my favorite couple in the world.
They're like social.
And I loved both of them like individually.
They met at Rathbones.
They were like an Upper East Side, like boozy couple.
Always having fun with us.
Loved, like I could hang out with her without him, vice versa.
And then I learned, you know, I was like, oh, they probably were just like out at the bars in Newport and made friends with this girl because that's what your friend does and that's what these people do.
So they get together and get invited to this wedding not realizing that he's going to be there.
And then I'm getting texts from both of them being like, yo, I'm at a wedding with this guy Terry.
And he's like, oh, I'm at a wedding with Feidelberg.
And it was like worlds colliding in a – sometimes it's't, you know, sometimes it's like, I don't know.
I don't want that.
Sometimes it's very bad.
Yeah.
Sometimes it's like, I don't want it for, I don't want, you know, my real friends to
meet this person.
I don't want Barstool people to know these are my real friends.
That's, that usually can be a little bit dicey or it's like, it's like whatever, but I just
don't think you're going to get along.
Like this to me was like, you guys would probably be better, like good friends without me.
You know, like you could, you guys could just, that could be one crew whether I was there or not.
I think we were like the last five on the dance floor.
That makes sense.
That checks out.
This one friend of mine, he is like – we always called him the stray cat.
Like he would – he lived – we had like our crew in New York and he lived in Ohio.
So he used to just come visit.
But he visited like so often that it was just like he he lived in Ohio. So he used to just come visit. But he visited so often that it was just like
he basically lived here now.
And usually when you have
a guest stay at your apartment, you usually
stay with them and you
go places with them and come home with them
and all that sort of shit. We would just leave the door
open and be like, straight cat. You'll come home
when you come home. Maybe you won't. You'll be fine
either way. And then he
finally moved to New York. We ended up living together for a few years.
So he's like one of my tight friends to be.
When he said,
when I thought he just knew you and he was like,
yeah,
we lived together for a while.
I was like,
Oh shit.
I consider that like to be,
you know,
either I know you from like my childhood or if I lived with you,
like you are,
you know,
you're in,
you're in the inner circle.
Did you guys discover this at the wedding?
At the wedding.
Yeah.
Like,
I think I ended up sitting right in front of them at the wedding yeah like i i think i ended up sitting
right in front of them at the church and then we didn't talk until uh the reception but um
yeah i i didn't know how did it in fact we were talking about him at the at the wedding because
he looks just like brett's yeah so we were joking we were like oh another president yeah big tall red irish guy he actually not brett looks like brett's brother but we were like
we really we were sitting with brett and like hey dude we know mike was one of his brothers
we know mikey came i love it i wish i was there i was like here are these things i'm like
one of my favorite moments i don't even know if i i should tell the story but I wish I was there. I was like, here are these things. I'm like, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. These are my friends.
One of my favorite moments, I don't even know if I should tell this story,
but when I was living with him, it was me, him, and one other dude.
And he was probably when he first was seeing his now wife.
So he was going out and he was manscaping prior to.
And I don't know what happened. He got interrupted while manscaping prior to, and I don't know what happened.
He got like interrupted while manscaping,
the doorbell rang or something happened.
So he like ran out of the bathroom quickly.
And in that time period, my third roommate went to go to the bathroom.
And so everything was just still on the floor.
Like he hadn't cleaned up yet.
And you know,
we're just,
we're just like big,
goofy,
pale, hairy Irish guys, you know we're just we're just like big goofy pale hairy irish guys you know and my third roommate was like what happened he's like did you shave a bear
what is going on he was like like i think it was one of those moments of like this is why i probably
shouldn't be telling the story on air because i think in the moment he was like he rushed back
like no no no go in there don't go in there like like the deepest
darkest like the most vulnerable you've ever been you don't want to see someone and you've just
shaved your body oh my god but it was funny it was a good combo d you saying most vulnerable
has just reminded me of something that happened this weekend where one of my buddies we're out
saturday night no this is friday night this is the one of my buddies, we're out Saturday night.
No, this is Friday night.
This is the night of the wedding.
And I haven't even told the friend that's involved in this story this story yet.
And we get home from the wedding, like, late.
But we left the bar.
It's probably, like, 1 o'clock.
This is a big wedding, too, right?
This is, like, one of the big ones.
Yeah.
And it's, like, one of our best friends.
And, like, it's a late night.
All the partying. He has an early flight in the morning. So Yeah. And it was one of our best friends. And it was a late night, all the partying.
He has an early flight in the morning.
So we get home at like 1-ish.
This is the guy you've flown to the soccer game with.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So any of John's stories, this is like the guy.
He's the guy.
One of my buddies actually described him at the wedding as the wealthiest homeless man you'll ever meet.
Which is like the most perfect description of him.
Because he literally doesn't have a home.
Right.
He does.
He got fired by the accountant.
He sleeps on captain.
All these stories.
But he also jet sets everywhere.
And so he had an early flight in the morning after the wedding
because he's going to Oktoberfest and the Amalfi Coast.
Then the Vita does not have a home.
What is he doing?
I don't know.
He's also one of those guys.
He's on the course with some guys closing a deal.
What the fuck do you do for a living?
He sells something.
He is the guy who, when married with kids, guys are like, fuck, I wish I did it differently.
Or I wish I had my old days back.
He did it.
He's doing what those guys want to be doing. I wish I did it differently or like I wish I had, you know, my old days. Like he just he did it. Yeah.
He's doing what those guys want to be doing.
But we get home.
We're saying this Airbnb.
It's like three floor, three floors.
And I'm hanging on the living room downstairs and he goes up to his bedroom.
I was here.
Fuck.
And I was like, what?
He goes, I left my phone at the bar.
And I was like, all right, go to sleep.
Because he had to get up like 5 a.m. I was like, go to sleep.
We'll get your phone back
I will wake you up
or he said, wake me up when you get it
so I can put the alarm on.
Isn't he
leaving in the morning? Yeah.
But our friends were still at the bar. Oh, okay.
So we left a little early. Got it.
And I was like, I'll call someone, I'll make sure they bring it back
and I will
get it up to you and I will set your alarm. And he's like, alright'll call someone. I'll make sure they bring it back. And I will get it up to you.
And I will set your alarm.
And he's like, all right.
Thank you.
Thank you.
He falls asleep.
The phone gets back like an hour later.
And I go upstairs.
And he's sleeping ever so soundly.
Like a little baby.
Like cuddled up.
And he's got blankets on.
He's all tucked in.
And I'm just kind of gently shaking.
I'm like, yo, like gently shaking i'm like yo
yo i gotta yeah like i'm trying to put his face in front of the camera it's not working
excuse me so i was like i'm like yo yo you gotta you gotta get up you gotta like i gotta like um
set your alarm and he kind of just like he's sleeping right and he likes he like opens one eye
and he just goes
and he throws the blanket off, sleeping dead naked.
No!
Huh, huh, huh.
And he's like, there's like three other people in the house,
and I'm already dying laughing.
I'm like, yo, it's me, it's me, it's me.
And he looks down and sees this dickhead and goes, huh, huh, huh, huh.
And then he rolls over
He rolls over
And he sees his asshole
And he goes
And he's this big bear of a guy
And he just can't
But there's no way to cover your asshole
Like not daintily
And I was like dude I'm not gonna
rape you
just put your
fucking
just put your
just put your
fucking
I was like
just look at this
fucking
fucking set your
alarm
and then
I wake up at like
eight o'clock
the next morning
I text him
I'm like
yo did you make
the flight
he goes yeah
he sends me back
a picture of a
screwdriver
on the plane
of course
and I was like hell yeah I was like, hell yeah.
I was like, something wild happened.
A very funny story happened, but I got to tell you in person.
And he just goes, oh, man, I was having some wild dreams last night.
I was like, yeah, I think you were dreaming something was fucking you, dude.
Some ditty dreams, man. Bro, covering your asshole is such a funny thought. Did he dream?
Covering your asshole is such a funny thought.
That's so funny.
You can't do it like this.
You can do it like your fingers.
You can do this.
This can be fun.
But when you get the asshole.
Oh, oh.
I mean, we've painted the picture of him pretty well,
but when you really know what he looks like,
it's even better, too.
No.
Yo, sleeping naked in...
Sleeping naked when you know
someone's going to be coming up into your room shortly
is pretty fucking crazy.
I think it's kind of a crazy move anyway.
I think people who sleep naked
are always very surprised
when they find out other people don't sleep naked.
Yeah.
I think sleeping naked is pretty weird.
I'm a weather...
I'll sleep naked.
I won't sleep naked.
I'll sleep in a hoodie.
I'll sleep naked.
I'm kind of just like...
Yeah, I won't sleep...
I sleep... I made a naked. I won't sleep.
I made a shift.
I used to sleep in boxers and then eventually I made a shift to putting more clothes on.
Yeah.
In winter, it's actually nice.
I'll go with hoodie on. I feel more
tucked in. I'll sleep with a hoodie on.
I like to be cozy.
Yeah.
I also think once I like living on my own, I was just like, I'm going to put
the temperature down to like 62.
Yeah.
I just had full control of my life at that point.
I was like, I'm going to sleep as cold as I want it to be.
So then I, but I think sleeping naked, if you're not, like if you like are with somebody
and you're in bed and you hook up and then you just go to sleep naked fine whatever but i think it's kind of what i think it's a little
bit weird at home just like tuesday night like time to go to bed yeah like take it all off are
you saying like no boxers naked yeah yeah yeah i think that's weird i i i think for girl i think
girls can get away with it more but I think it's all weird
yeah
I think it's all
a little bit weird
unless you're like
fucking somebody
or just slept
you know what I mean
there's a reason why
but I think it's funny
to be like
I'm getting into bed
take off all my clothes
I'll do it like
if I shower right before bed
I probably won't put clothes
back on
if I shower
and go back to the living room
I'll probably sleep
with clothes on
if I shower right before bed
they say that
you know
they say it's good for you. They say that, you know.
They say it's good for you.
Well, I can also understand, you know, girls, it's a whole different situation.
Gotta let that thing breathe.
I don't know how that works.
You know.
But that's also the point is that, like, you're letting that thing breathe.
You also, like, hear war stories of, like, things crawling up.
I also used to say that all the time, and I don't think that's true.
I know.
But I think it's a fear.
You eat eight spiders in your lifetime and they crawl in your mouth.
But she used to be like, I'll never sleep naked because I don't want a spider crawling in my pussy.
I feel like a spider would get halfway in a pussy.
I'm out. No thanks.
Yeah.
The audacity for you to think that your pussy is somewhere that this
animal wants to live for like a period of time do they like to burrow i guess but do they though
like in in wet hot locations maybe i think you would suffocate that pussy real quick
because it depends on what that pussy's like but i don't know i i i feel like a spider would be
like abort abort, abort.
No, no, no. What makes him more likely to crawl into a vagina than my pee hole?
Well, the size.
Yeah.
I think it's a lot harder to crawl in a pee hole than a vagina.
Have you ever seen how small a pee hole is versus the hole of a vagina?
But if he's desiring a wet, tight place.
Well, he's not trying to fuck, John. He's desiring a wet, tight place. Well, he's not trying to fuck, John.
He's desiring a wet, tight place.
Spiders are all men, by the way.
That's a fact.
But if he's desiring a hole, there's another option.
I think my bet is there's one option. You want a dick hole or not, bud? Well, you got another hole, too. You got another option.
There's one option.
You want a dick hole or not, bud?
You got another hole, too.
But that hole, I feel like, is tighter than my dick hole.
Because you have the mud room.
I don't know which one's tighter.
All the holes really, really boggle my mind.
Like, the holes are, like, I can't, I'm pretty impressed that the vagina just pretty much stays closed.
With no other mechanism other than just, like, these walls are going to stay together.
Yeah. It's not that closed. But for the, like, these walls are going to stay together. Yeah.
It's not that closed.
But for the, like, I know what you mean.
It's not that closed. That's what I mean.
That's why I think it's a weird thing that it's like, you're just one little like poke
away from being open.
Yeah.
Like your asshole's got this like cyst, this thing, you know?
It's like.
Like if you were to stretch canvas over vagina, you could play it like a drum.
You can't do that on a butthole.
You know what I mean?
If you were to like take some, like, you like stretch, you know, like a drum, you stretch
it over like a hole.
It would make a noise.
It would make a noise.
It would be like.
It would be, it would be like a, not a snare drum per se, not a hi-hat, but it would be
some sort of noise.
What a dumb way to describe it.
That's crazy.
Is it wrong? No no it's 100 right
like you can you can you can play rhythm on a drum on a pussy on a butthole just sound like
you're hitting skin it's just like if you were to take a little pod plant and you were to put
it's like random um but like a like a p a b hole like it's like's like The doors I left the front door open
Hallway's narrow
But I left the front door open
The P-hole
Yeah
But a whole front door's shut
Yeah
Closed
Closed
But the vagina I think is like
It's like a screen door
It's like
There's no main door
But there's kind of just like
A screen door of banging
You know
But you can
It can kind of
You mean like saloon doors?
Yeah.
That's a great way to put it.
Just flum, flum, flum.
Just laughing.
Like a big gust of wind.
It starts making noise when it's windy.
We're done.
We're done.
We're done.
I got to fix that door.
Good talk. good talk.
The different thing I was thinking about this weekend,
I saw a video that reminded me of this.
Are children sociopaths?
Or like, so here's what I'm saying. here's what i'm saying here's what i'm saying like when i was a kid
i thought nothing of killing an insect ripping a leaf off a tree as i walked by something like
that if i saw an adult person do that i'd call the police rip a leaf off a tree i'd be glad to
do that you fucking psycho like like what the fuck is wrong with you i saw a meme the other day it was a video of uh
it's like next time you throw a rock like think twice and it was just it was like this long
cartoon video that rocks are like family living together and having like a funeral because one
just got taken and thrown out of the village and all the rocks are sad that like their baby rock is dead now the rocks aren't lit like we know a plant is living like a leaf is not i i can get
down with the bugs the bug the leaf is is a little more i once i swatted a fly once and my grandfather
told me he was on his way to to see his children oh my god and i i mean it stuck with me to this
day oh my god because i used to like like i used to love, like, old-school fly swatter.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like, when I was a kid, my – I was like, let me get it.
I'll do it.
Let me do it, which maybe was a little weird, you know?
And then one time I did it, and he was like – I can – I, like, can hear him saying it.
I was probably, like, I don't know, eight or some shit.
And I was like, oh, I should have been.
I killed the family.
But, like, as kids, we knew they were like as kids we knew they were alive and we knew they
were living things but i didn't care i didn't kill a lot of insects but i didn't care too like if i
don't think you have like the same like um grasp on life like you don't really understand how
fleeting it is i also think they kind of just didn't teach us you know they're just like i
don't know they don't count yeah they don't really have brains they don't count a lot of shit that just didn't really get taught to us like oh he
forgets in 24 hours like well he's alive right now right he's gonna like feel it right now i
fucking step on him or some shit i like like don't be wrong like if there's a ton of them i'll wow
swat and all that stuff but like if there's one single insect you go out of your way to kill an
insect uh-huh if you go out of your way to like kill one insect.
And that's what this video was.
This video was this guy running a test, I guess, on thousands of cars.
Where it's like kind of a rural stretch of highway.
And he had a rubber snake, a rubber turtle, and a rubber leaf.
See like which people.
And he put them all on the side of the road individually at separate times.
And he said thousands of cars. side of the road individually at separate times.
And he said thousands of cars.
I don't know exactly how many.
And he said 94% did nothing.
Just kept driving.
But then the other 6% hit it.
And they'd go out of their way to swerve and hit it.
And it was like, I think.
Turtle number one. It was a spider.
It was a spider, a snake, a turtle, and a leaf.
I don't know if I would see that.
Yeah, I mean, it was, again, it was rural enough
that you'd notice something in the road.
My rankings would go like, I'm getting out of the way.
Well, I think swerving to hit anything.
These were all in the breakdown lane.
So you were going out of your way to hit it.
Then you're crazy.
Crazy. Crazy. Especially a turtle it was it was you whack a turtle with a shell and like i'm thinking a turtle explodes yeah yeah i hate the thought of that like killing a
snake probably pretty gross but killing a turtle is disgusting turtles are like you know turtles
are i don't even like running over roadkill that's already clearly dead. Right, that's not dead.
But a leaf?
And zero people hit the leaf.
But people tried?
No, zero people went out of their way to hit the leaf.
Like a crunchy leaf?
It was all rubber.
Oh, maybe the leaf is real.
I don't know. Yeah, yeah, I can see that.
Definitely crunchy leaves.
I mean, listen, I'm not going to stand for this talk, by the way.
Leaves are not...
We're not caring about plucking leaves off trees. I don't do it. I mean, listen, I'm not going to stand for this talk, by the way. Leaves are not.
We're not caring about plucking leaves off trees.
I don't.
I don't.
I don't do it.
Leaves don't have brains.
Leaves don't have feelings.
They don't have emotions.
They don't have pain.
Get out of here.
I don't think you're like a pure psycho, but I don't do it.
I'm like, I just walk by.
I'm like, that's a tree. If I'm like walking somewhere, I notice I do that.
I'm like, stop.
You look crazy.
It's a little bit crazy, but I don't think it's like the same thing as like whacking the top of the doorway
yeah but it still hurts it does not it doesn't it doesn't don't be such a fucking pussy
there actually are like uh no bro things where like they do feel pain trees feel pain when you
rip a fucking leaf off it suck my dick
but there's suck my if you're cutting down the tree to build a home or something like that sure
but like if we're just walking by there's no reason to fuck with the tree it's okay to just
rip it you're using it it's like same thing with eating a cow like you're killing it to eat it
like there's just but if you're just like gonna walk by a cow and punch it in the face
the fuck is wrong with you? So true.
That's a good point, though.
We will slaughter a fucking animal.
But if you were to do minimal harm to it, you'd be thrown in jail.
Stop punching that thing.
We've got to shoot it in the fucking head, man.
Yeah, but a cow tipping is like a pastime.
Yeah, but those people are fucked up.
I also feel like I've heard that it's not.
No one actually does it.
Yeah, I can see that just becoming like a...
The only thing I ever really know about is Tommy Boy.
Right.
But I think that was in the movie because it's a thing.
But it might be a chicken or the egg sort of situation.
Yeah.
I think it was definitely a thing before that.
But I don't know how...
I bet you if you looked at like...
It's too early, but if you looked at like the google trends of fucking cow
tipping i bet you tommy boy had a big big play yeah big play in that it is it's yeah but but
animals killing animals is like the telltale sign of like you know you're fucked yeah especially
they always say animals i don't think an insect really counts as an animal well yeah i think i
think i think you are allowed to kill spiders in your home.
You're allowed to kill anything
like bugs that are in your home.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Standard ground laws.
Right.
What did you do with frogs?
What's up?
What did you do with frogs?
Oh, yeah.
We dissected frogs in high school.
Oh, okay.
No, you dismembered one.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
We brought it home.
I brought it home.
And then I was like,
I'm going to do a little more research.
I was like, this is kind of crazy. Looking back on it, I'm like, this then I was like, I'm going to do a little more research. I was like, this is kind of crazy.
Looking back on it, I'm like, this is crazy.
Yeah.
I'm going to do a little more research on this.
Bro, let me tell you what we were just about to happen.
When you said that, I was about to say, if Pabst has done anything on his own weird to a frog, I'm firing him.
And then he said, we dissected him.
I was like, oh, okay, good, good, good, good.
And then, nope, nope, nope. You captured a frog, took it home, and sliced it up? and then he said we dissected him I was like oh okay good good good and then nope
nope
nope
you captured a frog
took it home
and sliced it up
was it alive?
it was already sliced up
but I was just like
oh alright
but you didn't kill
a living frog
to look at it more
yeah
okay you're still
fucking weird
looking back I'm like
dude someone's really wrong
dude I never did
any of that
I don't
I never had
I don't remember
like field day and I don't remember like field day and I
don't remember, or not field day, the
presidential thing. And then
we never dissected anything.
We dissected, I don't think I did a frog. We did
owl pellets. Weird.
And then a worm.
A worm? Like a big,
like a fatty worm though, like a big
earthworm. I think earthworm.
I'm not sure exactly what kind
but like a fat one anything smell terrible oh i think because i think it was in like a
preserve like a formaldehyde yeah yeah smelling but yeah that sucked it was that's all i don't
you think that happens in school anymore i would think so i have no idea because they again they
didn't teach us you know i was thinking about the other day, now that my kids are in school.
Tangential to what you're talking about.
Because I think part of it is you have to be taught about these things to know that you're killing something, right?
And I was kind of thinking about when we were in social studies and history class and we were learning about slavery.
And I remember thinking now that my kids are in it, I was like, I don't think we really got a full picture
of what was going on.
Oh, no, it's very...
It was very, like, kind of glossed over, right?
But then the fact that we even glossed...
It was like, we gave you a ride to America
and then they had to work it off.
Right.
We're good.
We swear we're good.
The fact that I remember the term indentured servant
is kind of sus like they hammered
that as a vocabulary word it's when you have to work off your time yeah those are slaves
there's raising little capitalists now a ride to america you gotta work for a few years for that
obviously i uh i feel like now like i was thinking about my my kids are too young but like
they're getting there they're getting close to it i feel like in like late middle late
elementary school early middle school you start doing history right yeah so i was thinking like
how are these fucking dumb teachers who are all dumb you know uh gonna really like explain the
nuance of this situation you know they're probably
not gonna and i was thinking myself like i'm like they didn't for me it was like it was a thing and
we were reading fucking huckleberry finn that word was being tossed around and like just like
what the fuck and i'm sure a generation prior to us didn't even – they probably taught it because they were like, it was awesome.
So how does that kind of shit work?
I remember – I just remember having one black kid in class and just trying so hard to not look at him.
Like, don't look at Jamal.
His name was Jamal?
Yeah.
So I just wanted to look and be like, I'm so sorry.
We talked about this before, too, how I think you guys said it's still going on,
that modern history is the last two pages
of a history book.
It's a huge gap after
Civil War, and then it goes right to
9-11.
Last you picked 9-11.
Brush over World War II real quick.
It's like computers, 9-11.
I actually like the way America does it.
We just skip the punchline.
Yeah, we don't talk about that.
We'll just skip the golf floor.
We'll skip Vita.
If we lose, we don't talk about it.
It's like the Eagles Super Bowl.
I kind of like what you're talking about.
The Packers won the Super Bowl and the NFL had an off year,
and then they won the Super Bowl again.
That's what happened.
I know this is like sociology 101 but I this weekend I was having like a big like it like what the whole concept of like government is so crazy like we're all free
but then we like instill these like laws to like keep people together but like also the laws like
people steal and cheat and whatever because of the system that we set in place not to sound like
this sounds very like california whatever but like this fucking hippie over here
get this socialist out of here i was watching megalopolis the movie oh fuck which i wanted
so bad.
I know.
I wanted to all go see it together.
Oh, sorry.
Because I think some people are like, it's amazing.
I saw one too.
I know I'm going to hate it.
I know I'm going to like it.
Yeah, I know.
Dude, I didn't know what was going on like half the time.
And I was with like Yale people, like smart people too.
And they were like, what the fuck was that?
I, at first, like you're really like, what what's going on and then you are kind of like
towards the end of the movie like all right i guess i kind of get it but like it's so no i don't know
i i saw someone say what uh whether you loved megalopolis or hated it you're right
yeah and that made me want to see it but it's like i think like pretentious people are like
oh it's actually like really artistic I think that's pretentious
that statement
no the movie
sucks
this fucking sucks
you know what I mean
like you know
that sounds so artsy
to me like
if you love it
or hate it
like it made you
feel something
or whatever
to be fair
it wasn't saying
it like that
it was just like
it's everything
I guess it did
make me feel like
rethink the whole
structure of society
well yeah you came
in here with that
talking voice.
I don't even understand what you're saying.
Say it again.
You think that people steal because there's a law against stealing?
No, but because of poverty is because of this whole caste system, basically,
that has to do with, you know, like, I don't know.
There's communists over here.
I'm not trying to say that.
I understand what it sounds like. i don't know just i'm not this communist over here i'm not trying to say that like i know i
understand what it sounds like but so then people like lie and cheat and steal to try and like you
know yeah sometimes the system is kind of regular but but then it but then it's also like i don't
know who's to say that like do we have to put those laws in place because like man again this
is sociology 101 but like man it like would have lied and she'd oh yeah i think i think the
rules came about because of the actions but i i yeah i think people were like treating each other
like animals and then somebody was like we're gonna punish you if you do that i guess like
yeah not just like hey in case this happens we'll do it and then like resources so it's like
wherever there's a limit but i i mean maybe i'm like optimistic but like i do believe everyone's
a good person and like everyone's just trying to like we've had i think you said that too
he thinks the vast majority of people are are good but i think that's with laws in place i
think when laws are not in place i think people get real bad real quick i i i think i think it's
more like i don't even know if it's if quote unquote good i think just most people just want to
go to work go home have a beer have a laugh have a fuck but i feel like they've proven that like
when when you when they do these like experiments where they like give people power or take away
resources or whatever shit breaks down pretty fucking quick but i think that's the power
yeah rather than but yeah power. I think having like
deterrence
and shame
and public
like,
you know,
standing,
like,
be taken away,
like,
all that plays into it.
And I think
if that wasn't there,
I think more people
would be like,
I'm just gonna,
if I'm bigger than you,
I'm gonna like,
take your shit.
Yeah, they're gonna give people
a system to climb up.
They're gonna like,
climb.
Or more also like, you're gonna get taken away. Like, you either go to jail or'm gonna like yeah they're gonna give people a system to climb up they're gonna like climb or more also like you're gonna get taken away like you either go to jail or you like you're gonna be publicly shamed as like a piece of shit and no one's gonna you know what
i mean but if all that is was gone and it was back to like caveman times i think people would be like
i'm going to take this from you uh probably but like that so that's what i'm saying like with the
like most people just want like most of us don't want to be bothered and that makes – is a good person to me.
I just don't want to fucking – just leave me alone.
And so yes, the laws need to be for that.
Like I'll follow the rules.
Just fucking leave me alone.
Yeah, I think – well, I mean it's interesting.
I saw a headline or a tweet or something that said like like, we need to rip up the entire Constitution and start over.
Like, it's outdated and it's no good, which is, you know, you probably could debate that, both sides of that.
But I was thinking, like, it is pretty fucking old.
Yeah.
And at some point, we stopped being, like, I don't know.
Like, at one point, the Ten Commandments were all we had.
And then eventually it was like, we got to write some more. Yeah. Right? And I don't know. Like, at one point, the Ten Commandments were all we had. And then eventually it was like, we got to write some more.
Yeah.
Right?
And I don't know.
Magna Carta was something about, like, having – what's the Magna Carta?
Google that.
The Magna Carta, I think, is, like, the first time that we had, like, a code of, like, society kind of.
The principle that king and his government – so there was something there.
You know, they signed something in 1215.
And then a few hundred years later, we do this constitution.
But like, is there a new one?
Yeah.
In like 20, in 2120.
You know, the year 2100 is someone going to be like, we got a new fucking one that everybody agrees to.
I can't imagine that happening now.
We can't get anything done, let alone throw out the whole.
I guess it has to be like a revolution.
That's what happens yeah but it's like how does that happen where like you know those guys were like i guess those guys said peace we're out and started a new one
so if someone wants to leave nobody's leaving you can't leave anymore all the countries are
found all the places are are owned the yeah the uh yeah i i i don't know i i yeah i think we're probably do i think rogan
has a joke and triggered what was it you just brought to this conversation
but he was like i think rogan and triggered where he's like if you brought back the founding fathers
and showed them america and the constitution they'd be like you didn't write any
new shit you've been doing this the whole time you were talking about muskets and shit that's crazy
uh but so you so wait but finish your thought well i also want to say like i am fortunate enough to
not be like like i'm i don't hate the system in like there's definitely things
that like have gotten out of hand and like whatever but like i i think that there should
be some kind of structure to society but it's kind of like a when you really think about it
what comes first chicken or the egg and like at the end of the day it just comes down to like
we can't i don't it's just crazy that like we built all this really intricate
system when we're just like
these animals that should be just roaming the planet
but like we're free but like
we're not and I'm not mad
about it like shit has to happen
but it's just crazy when you think about it
I do know
what you mean yeah I think it's crazy
when the amount of laws that people
follow still always blow my mind
most people follow like a blow my mind. Yeah.
Most people follow like a lot of the rules all the time.
There's a couple of guys who go a little rogue.
But for the most part, it's like, do you break laws?
Nope.
Yeah.
But so like, doesn't that kind of prove me right?
That like most people.
But I think that it's like for the wrong.
I think that they're like not doing it because they don't want to get in trouble
but i think it's you don't want to get hassled you're like all right like that's that's kind
of how like i'm in your house what are your house rules i will do it just to keep the peace and like
this house is america or the world whatever you however big you want to make the scope i'm like
whatever you say the rules are i'll follow the rules yeah just fucking leave me alone yeah yeah yeah yeah hey that's that's what i'm about leave me alone
whatever system we can get in that you leave me the fuck alone but even like taxes and shit it's
like we you know john's the number one tax guy in the world like the tax thing is so it to me it's
so simple it's arguably the greatest republic in the history of the world yeah those are very
expensive to run.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I make a lot of money.
It's hard to make the argument I shouldn't be paying it.
I think when you find out, I think there's just so much corruption behind it that it's like, I think it's a great system when it's probably early on when it was like, hey, town, we need a road.
Everybody pool together and we're going to build a road, right?
Yeah.
And I was like, that works.
That's cool. I think now it's like but it's like like if you think about like nomads
like the hunters gave food to the whole community people were good at hunting by modern standards
we're pretty good at hunting yeah yeah yeah we should give it to other people yeah no i get that
but i also i think that when it gets to like it i i i think i'm just more surprised that like
generally speaking everybody accepts that like they're gonna take 40 of your money
yeah that's kind of crazy yeah well it's it's i i i here's why i want to just cut your salary
in half that's what you make so no one's taking my money i just make half of it that's what i
mean it's so we've just accepted it that it's like, yeah, it's just what happens.
It's like, wait a minute.
Can we do it without taking half my money?
Could we like cut some money over there and maybe take a little bit less and do it a little here?
Like stop.
But it's also.
Like when you find out that fucking jamokes like Eric Adams stole $10 million.
That fucking guy.
That guy's a fucking idiot.
Idiot.
And he's like scamming the systems.
I can't even imagine what these larger institutions of these families that really have power.
They're taking all the fucking money.
But no one's taking money.
All our tax money is just blowing up kids in the Middle East anyway.
I love when people are like. That's taking money. All our tax money is just blowing up kids in the Middle East. I love when people are like.
That's my point.
Not your point.
That's my point.
I don't use the police.
Why should I have to pay taxes?
Well, there's a lot more than the police.
We got a horrible wedding over in fucking Syria, dude.
You give about $5 to the cops a year.
Most of it goes to destroying nations
it's the fucking military industrial complex dude i saw burton dude they need all your money
i saw a flag the other day i was driving and i forget where i was uh whatever wherever i was um
somewhere in connecticut and i saw a flag on the front porch with like a like a blue lives
matter type flag but it had a green stripe in the middle of it so it's like a black and white
american flag with a green stripe in the middle what do you think that's for i just learned this
and i already forgot fuck the military construction industry i was like the fuck do they need a flag
for google to make sure i'm right but like is that what i'm talking like the military industrial complex sort of thing like the dick cheney's of the world that is
the military construction company yeah the military soldiers veterans police is okay well
if that's just for the military it's different okay it's for the military so that's just uh
veterans yeah that's a little different.
When I Googled it, the first one on the pile, it said, like, military construction something.
The Green Line USA flag for Army, military, sheriffs, law enforcement, federal agents, border patrol, park rangers, game wardens, wildlife conservation.
What?
Someone's got to claim this flag.
Because I want to know if I'm putting this up for the veterans.
Cool. If I'm putting it up for the game wardens,
I don't think I need to be displaying a flag on my front porch for them.
That is a little fucking crazy.
We should get a flag.
We should put a fucking...
Pink is for like podcasters.
Just like the softest, lamest color.
Just like a gray. Just podcasting. We, the softest, lamest color. Just like a gray.
Just podcasting.
We, the people of the internet.
The animals online.
All right.
Happens every week.
I tell you, you got to get out.
You got to go do shit.
You got to go to events.
You got to go to games.
You got to go to concerts.
You got to go to Broadway shows.
You have to create a fun life, and GameTime helps you do that.
You know how much we love GameTime.
Now with their brand-new GameTime Picks feature,
they're making it even easier to get to a game.
GameTime Picks filters out all the fluff to show you only incredible deals on great seats,
so you don't have to waste time searching through thousands of tickets.
You can open the app right now.
Let's see what's around this weekend.
I am in town this weekend, so I got to find something fun to do.
Bing, bang, boom.
Game time.
It is opening.
Oh, it looks like it is set for Denver because that's where I was last.
I used it to get tickets to the Rockies game.
Ended up being Todd Helton Day.
Great day.
I don't know how to change my location on here.
Oh, right there.
Boom, right at the top of the page.
Denver, let's change that to New York City.
Oh, Oasis with Cage the Elephant.
That's obviously not this weekend,
but that is a Game Time Picks deal up there.
ALDS is coming up.
Aces and Liberty.
Sabrina Carpenter.
Barclays.
Rangers and Devils.
Hockey's coming around.
Travis Scott.
There's just a lot of stuff in New York.
Open it. Oh, shit. Are You Garbage? Tomorrowockey's coming around. Travis Scott. There's just a lot of stuff in New York. Open it.
Oh, shit.
Are You Garbage?
Tomorrow.
Gramercy.
Maybe that.
See?
You open it.
Just even if there's not something you want to go see.
Open the app.
See what's around.
There is tons of good stuff all the time.
What are you waiting for?
I'm going to go get these Are You Garbage tickets right now.
Great price at Gramercy Theater.
Download the Game Time app today and use code kfc to easily score great deals with the new game time picks what time is it game time who um what else we got i was thinking
about this the other day um you know how there's like supposed to be a tsunami that's gonna come
up like within the next 200 years that'll just destroy Washington?
Yeah.
We were talking about that.
I'm like, we'll figure it out by then.
We'll stop that.
We'll figure it out.
But then everyone was like, when was the last time we really figured something out?
When was the last time we had a problem that's coming, like we figured it out?
Well, we all were thinking so deeply.
Ozone layer was a big one.
We fixed the hole in the ozone.
We fixed the ozone layer.
And they did not celebrate that victory
yeah
like for
for the
like for
you know
the government
and the United States
and whoever to not
thump their chest on that one
yeah
if that was me
that wasn't the United States
it was everybody
well that's probably the problem
is that nobody can claim it
yeah
it was the Montreal
Accord
what the fuck is going on here it was like 1990 the late 90s we saw like the is that nobody can claim it. Yeah. It was the Montreal Accord.
What the fuck is going on here?
It was like the late 90s.
Just a bit?
What's going on?
The world came together and signed the Montreal Accord.
Fact check this.
I mean, you would not say the Montreal Accord if you're not right. It's the Montreal something.
And honestly, it's considered one of the greatest uh like feats of 1987 protocol the montreal protocol phased out
uh ozone depleting substances why the fuck do you know that that's weird that's weird
and like we all agreed like that's not in the school books we all agreed to just stop using like whatever that stuff the air conditioner of furon furon
whatever it is yeah yeah and and uh ozone lord landers is healed that's probably the only answer
though i said obesity because of um ozempic but like it's only Only rich people take it.
We're getting our ass kicked by obesity.
We have a solution for it, but the right
people aren't getting it.
It's not a solution for the...
It's a solution for the symptoms.
Not the problem.
If you can fix the symptoms.
If people stop dying because of obesity,
and it's not because they don't stuff their faces anymore,
it's because they're taking a pill.
I wonder how much that documentary helps with obesity. stop dying because of obesity and it's not because they don't like stuff their faces anymore it's because they're taking a pill I don't know
I wonder how much
that documentary helps
with obesity
the
Supersize Me
Supersize Me
it didn't
it made things worse
I feel like
oh really
I feel like ever since
that obesity skyrocketed
I was gonna say
I don't think people who
it's much like
everything else in this world
like no one is changing
their mind
about anything
we even got an update
on the turtles
like since we all
started using paper straws
oh actually wait the bees oh the bees we saved the bees the bees they're good about anything. We've gotten an update on the turtles since we all started using paper straws. Oh, actually, wait.
The bees.
Oh, the bees.
We saved the bees.
The bees.
They're good?
The population's good?
The bees have skyrocketed.
Like, why we've stopped...
Same reason we've stopped
talking about the ozone layer.
Why we've stopped talking
about save the bees
is because we saved them.
So then, now what?
Now, like, everything's fixed?
The world is not
going to come to an end the the
population of bees has but what do we do as a people what did we do yeah i don't i don't know
we were out here just massacring bees but like do we like sign in you know the taxes they probably
stole our money and fucking saved the bees how do we save the bees because i didn't think that
anybody on a day-to-day basis was doing anything to stop the bees from, you know.
But I think even that is like...
Like did beekeepers, do we like give beekeepers incentives?
Do we subsidize like beekeeper work?
But like how did we...
I think...
Like nobody planted a bee garden.
Well, I'm sure a lot of people did.
You think people individually did?
No, but the government did.
Right, right, right.
And that's another reason why I don't mind paying taxes.
There's so many things happening that we don't even know about.
Yeah, but I just feel like, listen...
They gotta be more public about this, though.
Yeah, if you could say to me,
I'm taking XYZ dollars from you,
and I went to this fucking bee plant.
Like, if you don't think that bee gardens is the biggest money laundering scam of all time,
where motherfuckers are just lining their pockets being like, we got to build bee gardens.
And hey, yeah, we saved the bees, but there's a bunch of guys out there just being like, we need more bee gardens.
You saved the bees and the future of the world.
Take a couple extra bucks for yourself.
Get a nice dinner on me, bud.
Come on. A extra bucks for yourself. Get a nice dinner on me, bud. Come on.
It's a little bonus for you.
I think most of the stuff
that they broke down,
like, this is where,
like, do you want to,
do you want to give money
to the arts?
I'd be like, yeah.
Do you want to help conservation?
I think if you saw where
all your money was going,
I think it would be
the total opposite.
I think there's so many places
that you just don't even think about.
I think there's a lot of places,
and then I think,
then I think all the good places would be like...
Okay, most of it's just destroying community.
Most of it's just like, we're signing bombs.
I saw Zelensky signing a rocket the other day.
We should get to sign some.
I'm a fucking bought the thing.
You know what I mean?
Champagne bottle.
Chris in it.
Have a ribbing cuttings
just one headed
nice
just draw some
like pirate
with big tits
you know
how they used to do it
like
you know
like all the paint
they had like
world war 2 bombs
they had painted
the last thing you see
before your fucking
entire region
is eradicated
is a pirate
with tits.
Yeah, that would have been a t-shirt bonus.
Thanks.
We had a good Black Friday, so your wedding got bombed.
Boy, this is like the gang solves world problems episode.
I'm staring down the barrel of, we'll probably in this podcast in like a half hour.
We'll do some voicemails in a minute.
And then I potentially am staring down the barrel of about like 12 hours, like 10 hours with Frank the Tank.
Yeah.
That's tough.
We streaming Mets?
What?
Mets? Yeah. The Mets have tough. Do we still need Mets?
The Mets have to win one game.
The Mets have a doubleheader today.
And if they get swept,
they lose both, they're out.
If they win both, the team that they're facing is out.
If they split the games, both of these teams are in
and a third team goes home.
So,
I can't even describe to you
how badly,
how hard I'm praying
and asking
and just begging
for them to win this first game.
Yeah.
Because if they lose the first game,
I got to stick around
for the second game.
And there's going to be
a break in between
and then it's also like,
it's also like,
fuck, we might lose
and Frank is just going to be
out of control.
You'll also have the Monday Night Stream
working during that one,
so you'll have a lot of people screaming about different things.
Wait, I might go home then, no matter what.
Who's Monday Night Stream?
It's two games, right?
No, it's just one tonight.
It's Dolphins.
Oh, right.
It's Frank.
Yeah, right.
So if Frank has the Dolphins and potentially the Mets, I don't want.
You should slip in the Xanax at some point.
That would be so funny.
Posting Frank's like.
Just kidding.
Detroit and Seattle too.
Detroit.
Oh, there's two games.
Oh, shit.
Frank, if Miami and the Mets are playing at the same time.
I mean, down to 162, like four of the fucking playoffs with Miami playing at the same time.
That was hard enough.
I did that yesterday with the Jets and Mets when it wasn't, like,
everything on the line.
I mean, I even, I, like, dressed normal today,
and then I put these clothes on.
I was like, I have to be comfortable.
I have to be, like, physically prepared for this.
Like, I'm going to go in there.
I thought about bringing my fucking Sherpa.
I was like, I need to, like, be in my safe space if I'm going to be with
Frank the Tank for 10 hours.
If, like, the New Jersey transit also goes down today, he might legitimately die.
Maybe we should call in a bomb to the fucking New Jersey Transit
so he can't make it and he's just completely riled up to 9 out of 10.
How do you feel about today?
Terrible.
Terrible?
Terrible.
I've been saying all along, if the doubleheader games matter, we're in trouble.
And we're here.
I've gone through enough in my life that there have been times where I'm begging, praying for something to happen.
And I think I'm more serious about this prayer and this beg than anything.
Really?
Just praying to make it?
And then if you make it, it's just one game, right? just praying to make it and then if you make
it it's just one game right three oh okay so if you make it you get a little bit of series yeah
oh okay okay right is there a plan in the playoffs now there's not one there's no there's not one
gamer there's three just three oh okay there was when there was just the two wild card i think it
was a one yeah and that was they made three wild card they made a series oh okay i didn't i didn't
realize that yeah so now the like the best teams get a bye,
and then the second best division winner plays the worst wild card,
and the two wild cards play each other.
Which is a great example of, like we were saying earlier,
with the Magna Carta Constitution.
All sports are like, we'll change the rules.
If things get a little crazy, we change the rules.
But also, to be fair, we're always changing the rules.
I think we finally figured it out, though.
I always say with Al Capone, I don't know if that was really fair.
What?
I thought you got it.
Let's just pause for a minute and go back to Al Capone.
Do tell. When they're always like, yeah on, I'll get it here. Let's just pause for a minute and go back to Al Capone. Do tell.
When they're always like, yeah, Rudy Giuliani invented a law to get him.
Well, I didn't break any laws.
You invented a law.
Yeah.
Okay.
Well, wait.
First of all, Rudy Giuliani didn't take down Al Capone.
He didn't?
No.
Al Capone was in, like, the 50s.
Didn't Rudy invent Rico?
Yes.
So then how'd they get?
I thought they got Al Capone on Rico.
Well –
Then how did Rudy invent it?
No, they got Al Capone on racketeering.
But isn't that Rico?
I think they're very connected.
But I don't think –
So I guess he didn't – I don't think Rudy created it in 1970.
So Rudy didn't invent Rico.
I think he either think he i think he
either tweaked it i think he enforced it in a way that was never done before that's what it was
all right but even that is kind of like wait a minute what this guy just decided like hey we're
gonna apply it i think like i think the thing with rudy was that he was like a good legal mind to the
point that he kind of found like a little loophole that was like well technically if it says this we can apply it like that yeah and i think everyone was kind of found a little loophole that was like, well, technically, if it says this, we can apply it like that.
And I think everyone was kind of like, let's just let that happen.
If I had to guess.
Free Al. Free my guy, Al.
Dude, I didn't break any laws.
You made up a law. You know why you're saying this?
It's very Belichickian.
It's very like,
they changed the rules after the fact.
That touchdown was legal when we scored it.
Yeah, dude. Yeah yeah we were all over
your wide receivers there wasn't a rule against you you invented one i'll change how i play now
now i'll do now like so so so so by the way rudy like officially rock bottom done disbarred
oh really yeah he got hit like uh the same same day that all that shit was going down.
Whatever's going on with Eric Adams and all that on that same day.
I don't know if it was tied in or coincidental,
but he is officially disbarred from being a lawyer.
He was so corrupt, too.
They should disbar you from being a lawyer
the second your hair starts melting down your face.
We don't know what your policies are anymore,
but you can no longer operate.
I was actually talking about that.
You can no longer practice law if you have ink
just pouring down your face in public.
That was one of the funniest things ever.
Literally this weekend, how it's so crazy.
I remember going to my grandfather's retirement,
which I forget if he was 65 or 75,
because he was a judge,
and they make you retire he was 65 or 75 but because he was a judge and they make you retire
at either 65 or 75 because it's just i guess easier than worrying about if your brain left
or not yeah and like i'm like there are so many people who are like 90 years old in power well
my fucking grandfather had to stop being a judge on like regular shit regular shit so wait click
that rudy giuliani is often referred to as having completely it's
probably like re completely broken the mob when he served as the u.s attorney how much of the
mafia's decline all right this is probably gonna be too long but but yeah i think it was how he
applied rico that he was able to take down everybody all at once giuliani made sweeping
changes for law enforcement practices to reduce crime I mean he was that dude bro he fucking cleaned up New York and then he played the 9-11 hero like
real well he crushed that we were all like that is America's mayor he was very uh and I think part
of that I'm sure part of it was like a show but I think part of it was actually genuine too and
then he just even like even like, forget your politics.
Like, politics aside, it's like, bro, you were, like, an icon.
And then you just became a fucking clown.
He did that.
And I don't know the accuracy of this, like, as far as the show goes.
But he was a bad guy in Dope Sick.
Really?
He was, like, helping Purdue.
Again, I don't know if they were just using him as
you know because
it's a show
not a documentary
I don't know if
they were just
using him to
represent a bunch
of people
I think
I think they're all
bad
they're all bad
they're all fucking
bad
it's just easier
to live if you
think they're all
good
I agree with that
you just
you can just
pick what world
you live in
like I live in a
world where
everyone's good
that's what I want to think I don't know i could be wrong i could be right i don't
know that white privilege um but but al capone free out so al got al got pinched i what is
racketeering exactly?
Look if I know.
Google that.
Poor Al didn't know either.
He got his warrant.
He's like, what the fuck is this?
Rack of what?
I've been paying pretty close attention to the laws that I've been breaking.
Local criminals demand payment from business owners to avoid physical harm.
Okay.
I understand that.
That's just bullying.
Yeah, that's a good old, yeah, you're running a racket. It's like know you can you can you know you're the corner store but you got to give me a tax
yeah you know taxes uh yeah racketeering influence corrupt organizations rico so that was 1970 so
rudy gets a lot of credit for that i guess he just reapplied it in a different way but
i mean yeah this is one of those like acapone murdered and killed it's
like what they're doing with diddy too you know it's like we're they're like diddy flew girls
into his party so let's like nail him on that like was that like like interstate kidnapping
yeah right they say as soon as you like fly someone in your tech for and they have sex it's
like technically like crossing state lines for prostitution.
We have a video of him beating someone.
Like, God, I just... That stuff.
I mean, I understand why statute of limitations exists and stuff,
but that's why there needs to be the common sense guy.
The common sense dispenser.
There's one dude who we trust.
We got to figure out that one.
That guy can't be corrupt.
Got to really nail that one.
But he, you make the call to him and it's like, we got this video.
Technically, you know, assault can expire after like two years.
Because if you like get in a bar fight two years ago, you shouldn't go down for that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And the guy on the common sense law should go, yeah, yeah, yeah.
But this isn't a bar fight. This is a girl
getting senselessly beaten, so we're going to
apply it. And that's it.
He never leaves the room. No one ever can get to him.
No one can ever kill him. He just lives in
one room that's completely impenetrable
with a phone. And he just makes the
call on common sense. You're just inventing
God.
Well, God, if God wasn't such a pussy, God would still, you know, this whole, like, it's just God's plan and you're just letting it play out.
Like, God should, you know what God stopped doing?
Smiting.
Smiting.
God, when God stopped smiting.
Smite me, almighty smiter.
He became a big fucking pussy if you
if you if he could still whack you
with a lightning bolt
it'd be a lot better people would
they'd be following those rules that Jackie was talking about
a lot more they're like
if there was threat of a lightning bolt from God
I'm not gonna steal that shit I'm not breaking
that commandment I might get fucking whacked
from above but he just sits there and lets it all play out
like a pussy
you talking about like praying kind of remind me of this in that commandment, I might get fucking whacked from above, but he just sits there and lets it all play out like a pussy.
You talking about praying kind of reminded me of this.
A pregnancy scare for me will make me
pray to God.
It's the one thing that I'm like, alright, we're going back to church.
Take me to church!
All of a sudden I'm like, God.
Pregnancy scares for guys make you Google
things like, how to share your opinion.
Look, your body look your body your choice but if you're taking opinions i don't politely recommend yeah i do have an opinion technically i have it's 50
how quickly after a pregnancy scare
are you right back to your old tricks, though?
No, then I'm like...
But all of me to promise,
I'll be like, I promise I will.
Give to charity or something.
And then it's in the back of my mind.
I'm like, hey, well, I don't have money now.
So I still...
Well, the thing being,
it was all the money I was going to give to charity.
But I still owe.
I was going to donate donate about five six hundred bucks
anyways but yeah do you guys have anything as like sports like that that's like
um you kind of i i mean i really don't i really don't believe in any of it anymore
yeah i will say like please god but i'm but I'm not literally thinking, like, there is some power that's going to influence this.
I said it a lot more when I was younger.
I don't know if that's I believe in God less or I find myself in situations where I need some help less, but I certainly say it far less than you do.
Good for you.
Yeah, that's good.
Good for you.
Either way.
When I say, please, God, I just mean, like, I really, really, really want this to happen.
I'm not actually thinking about it.
I can't believe that there are people that do, that are.
What?
There are some people out there that are really like if I really ask her this enough in the right way.
You have to be so incredibly narcissistic to ask God for a favor.
Just like if you look look around the world you're
like yeah he probably wants me to get rid of this baby where where on the list of
people praying to god for things do you think your fantasy team yeah because there are fucking
you know mass you know there's genocides going on right now. I think their
prayers probably
beat you and the cover for Monday Night Football.
Just a thought.
Come on, God, please.
We just need seven more
yards for fucking...
I'll ignore the massacre
of the Uyghur Muslims in China
and I'll just fucking help you out
real quick.
I can't believe that
there will be people that think that i'll turn this light green for you
i'll give you a couple more points on your test yeah
fucking morons i can't but i really can't believe that there are people
the people who just say god's plan are the biggest assholes on the planet. When you're like, if God is so benevolent and all that, like, why are their children getting raped?
And they're like, well, that's just part of his plan.
Well, then fuck that guy and his plan.
How about that?
You know, without like without darkness, there would be no light.
Like, shut the fuck up.
How about that?
When they when religion starts bringing in like evil the concept
of evil like that's where it yeah yeah i mean at least the catholic church is built entirely on
guilt evil and taxes well also that's okay that's the other thing that's like to me it just seems so
obvious that religion is just something that like people said to keep people in line yeah
and make money.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, there's that.
But I could see how it started with good intentions,
just being like, okay, we got to give them morals,
and you can't lie and cheat and steal.
Yeah, it's like Jesus was a cool dude,
and Peter's the one who made the church, right?
Peter was apparently a fucking dick.
Peter's also the name was Simon.
Peter was Simon when he changed his name because he was probably committing all these he uh he was a fisherman oh these stories are so stupid i can't believe it's
just it's the greatest story ever ever sold man it's just like somebody wrote this shit and just
and a bunch of people told it and billions over a billion people believe it when did we start
getting like so much less dramatic
like all of them are like and then he was beheaded and his body was shipped off the river and then
like all this it's like nobody needs nobody needs to be beheaded like nobody needs their body
separate i don't know like this is so unnecessary but when did we get away from that like
when we get away from like a pound of flesh
yeah i mean you could argue we're still doing it with yeah yeah yeah yeah
the internet was getting spicy with that guy who got uh put to death this weekend yeah the missouri
yeah that that guy was very controversial there was somebody i saw a tweet that was like
we we were a better said it said America was a much more – I think he was using some religious terms.
He was a fucking asshole.
But it was like America was a better place when we had public executions.
And he had like a little picture that was like a little cartoon from like drawn back in the day when the whole fucking town would show up for lynching.
And I was like like this is a take
this is a take quake like when everybody showed up to watch people get lynched we were a better
more like i don't know how people make those arguments like like objectively speaking this
is the best time to be alive in the history of the world yeah like well how can you say
any time was better i think think I thought about that.
And I always try to check myself if I'm just being like the old guy who says like my time
was better.
I think there's probably a sweet spot though.
I think the 90s was pretty fucking sweet.
I think the 90s was really fucking gravy.
It was limited war.
Right?
Like it wasn't the no war, but it was limited war right like it wasn't the no war but it was limited war
internet hadn't like totally fucked everything up yet and i think people were just like living
yeah gay people couldn't get married what gay people couldn't get it was tough for them
it was tough for them a couple people there's a couple a couple uh groups that still might disagree. But I think that was a pretty sweet spot.
I think every year, the next year is better for the most amount of people.
I would mostly agree with that.
But then I start to think of, like, I don't know.
It just was an easier time when, like, I mean, there was just a whole generation where parents didn't really have to parent their kids.
They were just like, I don't know. Go do your thing i think everything ended up fine yeah i think you could
do that today i don't know i mean we we all have to just agree to do it then the problem is the
reason why i don't do it is because like no one else is doing it yeah be the fucking cool parent
be like yeah like i don't know he just lets the kids run wild when i was at a bar this weekend
kid was running all over the place i was like fuck yeah kid the um i wait i i don't know i don't know i i i think there's probably something to be said for
like i think kids probably learned more back then when it was just like i don't know i'm at this
event by myself i'm at practice by myself i'm at the game by myself i'm hanging out with my friends
by myself i'm and i just have to learn like what to do in this situation you know yeah rather than
just like turning to your parent or whatever so i think there is something to be said for that i think it is like what you're
saying like parent it's i everything is parents fault like yeah like like when parents complained
about us as kids well you're the one doing it right like when they call you like the participation
trophy generation like i didn't ask for him you fucking gave him me yeah you know i will say you
acted like this and now i'm like this the participation trophy thing is a funny one because i remember writing countless
blogs postification all that shit and then i had kids and i was like can you just give my kids
something too yeah he's gonna be so sad if he doesn't get one can you just fucking give him a
little trophy also i think every older generation also thinks that like that's like I think my parents got
participation trophies like
I think they've been around for a while
but every generation is like we're just rewarding
kids like
reward mediocrity. It's like I think
we just give kids things to make
them feel good. So they don't cry
we just move on. This weekend
I got like I took like a two hour
nap so I was kind of in a loopy state
and then joke yeah and then i went and i got like a kombucha from a um bodega and i rung it up and
he was like it's too like 29 and i like was still in loopy state and i stared at him there was like
30 seconds where i literally thought i had like time traveled back like 30 years and i was like
the fact that i just assumed that i time traveled rather than like a kombucha being like two dollars
wait why was it so cheap he just rung it no sorry i was like being dyslexic like it actually said
like seven any of those numbers sorry i'm happy you brought this up something happened to me for
the first time ever in my whole fucking life this weekend.
For the first time ever.
Well, I'm just going to – how much do you think a bag of Doritos costs?
$3.
What would you say?
$3.
$3.50.
$7.99.
What?
That's crazy.
It was the first time I ever reacted to a price for pretty much anything.
But definitely like for food.
Anytime I've gone to the grocery
store i couldn't you know well actually you know what sorry to interrupt i guess that doesn't i was
picturing a small bag you got a big bag when i said three dollars i was picturing like one of
those little bags i got a bag so like if we're talking like party size bag then i guess seven
dollars yeah yeah 7.99 is a lot for a bag of fucking chips bro that was the first if i go to the
grocery store sometimes i'm just running in for a couple things sometimes i'm doing like a full shop
but it can be 20 it can go up to like 200 i'm just like i don't know there's a lot of shit
in my cart or a little shit in my cart i don't know i don't care i need the food i want the food
buying it i i was buzzing myself and it said like 7.99 and i i was also buying like a taco kit or
something and i was like oh that
wait that must have been that not that
you know and then I saw on the screen like Doritos
$7.99 I was like
god damn if you're poor
a bag of chips being $8
butt fucks
like I still care but if
I was still you know if I was nickel and
diming and scraping by and I was like
get some Doritos for the kids and it was was $8, I'd be like, nope.
I'm certainly not saying it's good.
But for my math, if you've got candy bars, two and change.
So it makes sense.
But I think that's getting crazy, too.
Yeah.
Again, I'm just saying logically I see it.
Shouldn't things get cheaper?
Like, I always think about it.
Well, on the one hand, history is always like, a guy on the mill used to cost a nickel.
Yeah.
You're like, well, that doesn't, you know.
But I also think that, like, a car probably cost, like, all of your money in the past because it was, like, the most amazing invention ever.
And now it's like we can mass produce those. Oh, you can mass produce.
Yeah. amazing right invention ever and now it's like we can mass produce those yeah so it's like we get
better at like technology and producing things so things should get cheaper and they just keep
getting more well i i like i'm addicted to kombuchas i understand they're not even healthy
but like i have one a day they're like seven dollars i just did the math i'm spending like
250 to 300 dollars a month it's insane like like part of it it's a bad fucking
habit um but yeah i i uh and you thought you were like it's more yeah i probably time traveled like
i stared him for like 30 seconds and i was like that was crazy i just assumed i had time traveled
over like it's just being like two dollars ah i must have done a time travel over like it's just being like two dollars i must have done a time travel machine
god answer my prayers i swear to god i'm like i'm i'm a year away from being schizophrenic
i believe it i believe it if you if you had to pick a different time period if you think that
right now is the best time period ever to live but you can't live here anymore and you got to
go back at least like you can't just be like last year yeah no you're probably probably right with like the 90s
yeah so it's just whatever the closest but i i also like i shouldn't be allowed to own a credit
card i gotta go back to like the 50s i cannot oh every month i'm just like do i really have to pay
that you don't do that you go back to the 70s 70s yeah you're right i only have to go back to the 50s, you go back to the 70s. 70s, yeah, you're right. I only have to go back like 10 years.
76?
76 women were allowed to have bank accounts?
Crazy.
That was awesome.
That was such a flex.
It is nuts.
Again, almost like that thing where you're like,
people are like, society was better.
Society, if you look back like 20 years, it was loose, dude.
We had people on the moon.
You couldn't get divorced. You couldn't get a bank account.
That's when people were like, oh, on my day,
people stayed together.
They literally couldn't get divorced. They were not allowed to.
They just stayed there until one
of them murdered each other.
Like, divorce is up,
murder's down.
Alright, let's get into our voicemails.
I have to prepare mentally.
Dude, by the way
i heard that one that was right that was acl the sauce stuff oh brutal by the way um
chris christopherson died chris christopherson um and i don't i didn't know too much about him i
know i know his music and i know he's like he's a he's like a he's the fucking man
r.i.p did to come in with tumbo as well yeah but dude christopher christopherson ridiculous name
yeah dude listen to everything he was so i was reading his obituary i'm getting real old i mean
it's his quote-unquote obituary like rolling stone wrote it but songwriting was merely one aspect to the renaissance man who was also a star is born so he's he's got a couple oscars he songwriting was merely one
aspect to the renaissance man who was also a golden globe winning actor golden gloves boxer
road scholar author u.s army veteran pilot and one-time record label janitor which is where he like started what that's
fucking sick dude that's so that's such a list that's such a resume and he's like i was like
watching a few interviews of his and stuff like that he's just a fucking man but one of the
stories that was so cool was like it was two weeks after shaneet o'connor ripped up the pope on snl
and that was like a big big deal big deal it was a
huge thing like the world hated her and she was performing at msg two weeks later and christopher
christoph christopherson had had invited her on had introduced her to the stage and when he left
the whole crowd started booing and they were like ripping into her and someone said to christopherson
they're like you should go get her off stage and in his head he's like well i'm not doing that so he just walked out
there and he went don't let the bastards get you down and she went i'm not down and started singing
and i was like that's fucking cool as shit she was a gangster yeah she was pretty fucking awesome
i've seen i've seen some clips of her on uh on like uh i don't think it was bill maher but it was like a bill maher type show
yeah and she was just smoking fools she was no joke man she could she could speak meet helium
mobile a new carrier for visionaries powered by people and crypto helium mobile's unlimited phone
plan is just 20 a month for unlimited talk text and of course data no
gimmicks no contracts the coverage is unprecedented subscribers of the plan experience coverage from
both the nation's largest 5g network and the helium network which uh you're probably thinking
what is that the helium network is a new network here in the u.s built by people like you and help
and secured by the blockchain unlike other other traditional telcos, Helium Mobile protects your data by giving you control
and doesn't sell it to third parties for profit.
I'm sure everybody is getting countless spam texts like we do now.
Helium Mobile does not sell your data.
Instead, with Helium Mobile's unlimited phone plan,
you can earn crypto tokens called mobile
for anonymously sharing where you use your phone the most.
You can use those crypto rewards to pay for your phone plan,
buy new tech, or exchange it for US dollars and other tokens.
It's time to rise above the status quo
and make your carrier Helium Mobile,
powered by people and crypto.
Ditch the old phone plan and get one month free of Helium Mobile
with code KFC.
Get an unlimited phone plan that rewards you
and crypto for using it.
Go to Helium, that's H-E-L-L-O,
Helium, H-E-L-I-U-M.com slash KFC.
What's up, fellas?
On the roof, enjoying a nice doobie.
I've got a very important question
that's been tearing apart my friend group for years now in group chats in
at the bar um we talk about it far too fucking much um from being honest um what ethnicity
do you think mr potato head is
i think he's like bro Dominican. Some people say Jewish.
I've heard Puerto Rican.
There's a few different ways you could go.
I know it's not exactly a $1,000 question, but it's very important to us. So I need you guys to kind of take it seriously.
I think it's a great question.
Yeah, what ethnicity do you think Mr. Potato Head is?
Thanks.
Now, I am immediately going to Toy Story and thinking about his voice in that.
I don't remember what his voice is like in that.
It's very like, maybe like old man Jewish, old man Italian.
Kind of like, wow, Woody.
Like, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah.
Like a kind of a, well, let's see who does it.
We'll fucking.
I picture him and...
Do...
Boy, we got the worst guy on the Google right now.
He's the last guy you want for this question.
Don Rickles.
Oh, Don Rickles.
Okay.
So he's an old Jewish man?
I would assume so.
Yeah.
I picture him in Family Feud Guy.
Steve Harvey?
Steve Harvey is the same.
Well, because he looks it.
He looks it. he doesn't sound
but he looks it so so old black man yeah i thought my head went to like polish polish yeah
your head went to polish german something like that like why i i feel like they're heavy potato
uh oh okay i can see that oh okay you're so you're thinking i'm thinking a bit of the way he
looks this is interesting i'm thinking a of it The way he looks This is interesting
I'm thinking of it
The way he looks
He's got like
Darker
Darker skin
Yeah
Got very
Big features I guess
But you're thinking about
The meat
Yeah
Like his origin
Yeah
Like from the ground
Like a
Yeah okay
Alright I can see that
I always think that too
We are potato
When I was
Studying in Spain And like I was living with A billet family all right i could see that i i always think back to when i was uh studying in spain and like our i
was living with a billet family and the woman brought out this dish that she said she invented
and it was just sausage and potatoes and i was like i think the polish invented this and she
hit me with a spatula and she got really mad at me and i was like, I don't know.
That's where my mind was.
First of all, I think it's kind of weird that you don't think of Irish.
Irish, yeah.
I mean, I think of potato. I think of Irish.
I get what you're saying about Polish,
but to me, he doesn't look
Irish at all. I think he kind of
looks Jewish.
Then he's got this slick beard. He's got like a Freddie Mercury
thing going with the mustache.
It kind of has a Luigi thing going.
Like a Mario thing going. I can see Italian, too.
Yeah. Well, the Italians and the Jews are very...
Russian.
Russians love their potato. Potato vodka.
Again, I wouldn't say
potato Russian. I went Eastern
European with it.
His skin tone, yes, is obviously
that. I like Steve Harvey based on
look. Yeah, that's a good one.
The voice is throwing me off
a little bit because if there was no voice,
if I just looked at him,
I could see
Puerto Rican.
I could see Spanish. You know, that mustache.
Very...
Que pasa, papi?
Yeah, yeah. Maybe a little Mexican there.
It makes it a little hotter.
Or maybe like Spanish.
Spanish.
Not like Hispanic.
Like Spain.
Yeah.
That's like the...
Whatever the fuck it's called, you know?
Now, but are there other potato heads?
Like there's Mrs. Potato Head, right?
Yeah.
Is there a whole family of them?
No, he looked a lot like Steve Harvey.
He looked really black there.
I was going to say that picture made me think black.
Because like this little fucking kid is, that's a little black kid.
That's a black kid.
I don't know what that was.
That was a banana, not a potato.
Hmm.
The Mrs. there looks like...
I'm sticking with maybe he's Albanian.
I can see him in a velour
suit.
Oh, like a jumpsuit. Yeah.
Like a zip-up. Okay.
Kind of like fantasizing.
Bro, you just called him hot.
I just wanted to make sure you were on the same page.
Great question, though. Great question. i just want to make sure you're on the same page great question though yeah great question it's gonna make me think for a long time i'm gonna be thinking about all sorts of other toys too i hate it when pavs clicks on every single photo
that i can't use and i always like go back and find like the photos that i can use that like
kind of sound like what we're talking about. It takes like an hour to piece together.
I wouldn't stress too much about that.
Yeah. Okay. I'm sorry. You guys just
look up Mr. Potato Head. I appreciate
the effort. I think you pop in one picture. You're all set.
Okay. Throw in a couple.
I'm going to throw in a couple.
Skew my thought.
But the Steve Harvey thing is probably the most
the biggest
like doppelganger, if you will.
Yeah, for sure.
And I don't mean that as, like, a black thing.
I mean that as, like, a bald thing.
I mean it as a bald mustache thing, not a black thing.
This girl.
I don't mean it as a black thing.
Get out of here.
Steve Harvey was white.
You would have said that?
Well, Dr. Phil.
I could see Dr. Phil, too.
Another good one too Another good one
Another good one
Yeah
Time out real quick
Is your show starting tomorrow
So I was gonna
I actually have
Yeah I'll plug it at the end
Yeah
No don't plug it at the end
Let's do it right now
Oh okay
Yeah
Jackie's got a new show
No Jackie doesn't have a new show
Well Jackie's gonna be a part of a new show
That's gonna be a fucking
I don't
I
I'll believe it when I see it.
We're only doing one day a week, 5 p.m. Tuesdays, live on YouTube.
Fishbowl YouTube.
We'll see how...
I'm already making a contingency plan for when she has to go.
No.
It's going to come to a point where I'm like, this is like hold you back you have to go do that
this is like i think it's gonna be so much more what is it okay so it's a fishbowl fishbowl
it's a live show with me matt mooby smelly her kelly um grace malley and then peyton
is gonna be like behind the glass but we going to try and get her to talk.
It's a bomb squad show.
That's like,
you know,
as,
as I've told you girls on the internet off air,
trying to get your producer to talk is pretty difficult.
I know she's reluctant already,
but like I,
and you're probably like,
God damn it.
Just fucking,
but you guys were good,
but you just like hammered it.
You guys are so,
yeah.
If you give it like three years,
I was going to say,
we like gently tapped it for three years
until you like finally succumb i mean having having that squad of girls is gonna be fucking
and we're like inviting all the other girls in from the office also to and then the show is so
you have a fishbowl of topics that are put in from um what chat the office where does it come from so we've only had like one meeting
about this basically it's gonna be i think we're each gonna write like a few ones that we're gonna
go around the office have them write topics and it could be anywhere from like what's your favorite
movie to like i don't know like birds and then you go off there i don't know we
we're like movies and birds. This show's for you.
Those are the best kind of shows.
We're just like shooting the shit.
It actually is reminiscent of a segment we used to do on this show called The Office
that I think it was before you.
And it was honestly,
I thought some of our better stuff.
Like it was-
Go around the office and get people's topics.
We were just being lazy
and we didn't have topics to talk about.
And so we would go and be like-
Nate, what do you think?
What do you want to do?
We would do people's content without them. Yeah. Like Nate thought of this. We're going to talk about yeah and so we would go what do you think what do you want we would do people's content without them yeah like nate thought of this we're gonna talk about it
but yeah it's it's a good thing to like you know i found that it's in a perfect world
everybody at barstool would like collaborate all the time and you know because we have everyone
under one roof and it's like let's do stuff together and i think we've all just kind of learned that that doesn't really happen and
doesn't really naturally work that way but what you can do is kind of tap into all of like what's
going on and what people think and what people are talking about you know what i mean so it's
like not everybody can be on the show but if everyone's throwing into this fishbowl yeah
things that have happened things that they're talking about. You kind of do get like, you know, all of the material from the office without necessarily having to do it with everybody because it's not just it's just not, you know, realistic.
So is the YouTube page active yet?
Yes.
Technically.
Go subscribe.
I'm gonna do it right now.
Yes.
Thank you.
I think it's at Fishbowl Live.
I actually don't know.
There's no profile picture yet, but I will do that after.
And also like that was the other point.
I think we call it Fishbowl because we're going to do it in the radio room.
And so it's kind of like Fishbowl in itself.
And we'll see.
I don't know if people are way on Fishbowl.
I don't even really know how to do this.
How do I find it?
I don't even know.
Rampoff Heidelberg.
I just typed in Fishbowl live and i can't
find anything okay wait fishbowl okay yeah hold on there's a fishbowl live that has like
there's like alien footage yeah yeah we gotta we gotta okay i will gotta figure this out post the
link in the description or i will tag in the description the account okay how do i follow it right now
because you have about five more minutes where i'll follow this okay um fishbowl
show i think it's fishbowl show one word or two one word fishbowl is one word you know what i'm
gonna figure out i'm gonna put it in the whatever and also click the link
well yeah there's gonna be like an instagram there'll be links to it 5 p.m tomorrow on
tuesdays today today yes today tuesdays live radio get ready for the nighttime 5 p.m with the girls
fishbowl fishbowl thanks it's gonna be a smash. I'm very excited for it. Thanks.
I don't...
You have to find another person.
What?
You have to find another person.
No, I'm just...
I, like...
I don't...
Everyone's very busy,
so, like, all...
I'm not sure that this is going to...
I think it's a good group,
and I think it's going to be very popular.
Okay, well, thanks, guys.
Yeah.
First follower.
Hell yeah.
Did you find it?
How'd you find it?
Pat texted me the Instagram.
We texted us the Instagram.
Oh, the Instagram. Yeah. Okay, yeah. first follower hell yeah did you find it how'd you find it pat's actually the instagram we're texting us the instagram oh the instagram yeah okay second follower okay so on instagram it's fishbowl underscore show let's go there's we the one post is because you have to have a post to
yep so ignore that anyways yeah tune in put on my story i'm very excited oh well then maybe let me
delete this one okay yeah cool thanks thanks
good hands yeah that's a pretty good catch yeah you know i do that thing where you drop like a
ruler and you gotta catch it dude i, I'm the best at that.
I hate to burst your mind,
but I'm also really good at that.
You gotta get a ruler of some sort.
Do we have a ruler?
Dude, I'm so good.
It's actually,
like I did,
I'm so passionate because I did it again
in the shower this morning.
You gotta catch like,
yeah, you can catch like anything
that can drop really.
Like that.
Yeah.
And then you mark it.
I mean, you,
yeah.
It is somebody else's whole thing. I do it with so Yeah. And then you mark it. Yeah. I mean, you, yeah. Somebody else has to hold it.
I do with soap.
Yeah, you know what you're dropping it past.
I would be unbelievable in prison.
Like,
in prison?
Drop the soap?
I would never drop it.
I would never.
You don't drop things.
I wouldn't use a rope.
They would be like,
you just don't drop things.
I do.
Like,
literally it happens probably once a week.
Dropping things?
I'll drop the soap
and I catch it every time.
Every time.
Every time. I'll drop the soap and I catch it every time every time every time it's
it's great
I did it
I did it at the wedding
I dropped my knife
so proud of you bro
I catch it
I
sometimes I catch things
it's like Jackie being good
at jumping
sometimes I catch things
so fast
and I'm like
I'm like
dude
I do it and I'm like I'm like I feel like Tobey Maguire in spider-man like that
was insane I also picture you like doing the water thing and just think that you
have superpowers again the like I might start filling myself in the shower I'm
gonna start only fan for myself in the shower i might start the only fans where
i film myself in the shower just waiting for you to drop nothing sexual just crazy catches
i watch it was really that good like right now i'm laughing at you but i would love i'd love to
watch a video of you just all soaped up and i'm like whoa that was that was a great catch just
fucking sudsy cheeks dick Dick flopping around.
Whoa, did you see that?
Wow.
I did it today.
I think I was like,
soaping like a shoulder and it went flying
and I went like that
and I was like.
I might hire someone.
Did everybody see that?
I might hire someone
to shower with me every day
and be like,
you gotta tell people about this.
This is crazy.
That's a big time
white people thing with the soap.
What? Using the soap to wash you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Other people aren't even in that situation because they're not...
I like to challenge myself.
Make it slippery.
That thought of you
going like, that was unmultified.
How did I just do that?
Impressing yourself
is fucking good.
Somebody just got a contract.
It's like when you
nail a bottle into a trash bin.
You're like, fucking still got it, dude.
We're going to have to prove this somehow.
Finish up the voicemails, but
I'm going to throw things at you or drop
things at you or whatever. While we're talking
about
weird... I wasn't looking.
Well, the soap doesn't wait for you to look.
I am looking at the soap.
I was looking at my knife this weekend when I dropped it.
I'll do it.
It's just sharp things.
I don't care.
I'll catch it.
But while we're talking about non-podpodcast video type things i have two things
i want to pitch slash talk about i had an idea the other day of a segment maybe on the podcast
where let's say jackie you put in headphones and you put on some music and you start dancing
and we got to guess what kind of music you're dancing to okay i just used jackie as an
example because looking at you but we'd all have to do it yeah it's like my worst nightmare
it's right next to karaoke
really oh my god i was doing it like i was dancing in my apartment the other day
i was listening to me i like headphones in so i was listening and i obviously don't have
blinds or anything so i was like i wonder if they know i'm listening to punk rock
right now and i was like like you i think you could probably tell but there are other genres
where honey that gay guy's dancing
i think it's blink um and then the other thing i was i was thinking is, so for the out-of-order live shows, I'm going to do five minutes of stand-up.
And I don't know if it's better on the show or an individual video, but I, like, pitch you guys my jokes to see if they're good or not.
So we have to be honest, though?
Probably an individual video.
What if it's just, like, that joke stinks?
Yeah, if they're bad, please tell me they're bad.
Talk about night.
These guys are coming up with my night.
Dancing, singing in public, and then critique me to my face.
Jesus Christ.
Why don't you measure dinks next?
I'm not like, it's not something I do.
So if I was like, critique me on.
No, but the worst thing is I know that you think that it's funny.
Yeah.
And if I strongly disagree with you, I'll probably do it anyway.
But I invite the feedback.
I don't like feedback when it's not things I'm trying.
You know what I mean?
If it's just like, hey, you're an asshole.
Well, I'm not fucking.
I didn't ask you.
But now I'm asking you. If I'm asking you i i appreciate honest opinions how about i give you feedback
i don't have to be in front of you while i give the feedback that's fine i think the
laughter will be feedback enough like i think if you don't know that's what i mean like can i like
see it somehow without you being in the room no yeah i'm the worst at laughter what it's like because like it's gonna be so
funny and i would just be like that's fucking funny yeah so like if you think that if i'm not
laughing you know but i i think everything will have like what if you're performing like in here
and we're like in the the the green room watching i wasn't good at performing i was kind of you know
what i mean. Yeah.
And then from a distance,
I knew that was great and that sucked.
Yeah, I agree with that.
I feel like, yeah,
I feel like when I'm on camera,
I'm only really understanding
like 20% of what you guys are saying.
It's kind of like
the Charlie Brown teacher.
Because I'm so scared
and focused on being on camera
that I feel like a lot of jokes
are going to go over my head.
I don't think so.
They're not really intelligent jokes.
I'm not bringing on the Montreal Protocol
for you.
That's an incredible poll.
By the way, Montreal Accord, better name.
I like that better than the protocol.
This whole conversation that we had before,
I don't remember it. I don't know what was going on.
Which one? The Montreal Protocol thing.
Didn't we talk about that?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It was just that
that's where we
saved the ozone.
Yeah.
Okay, like, I kind of did,
but, like, 20% of it.
20% is such a low number.
To tell someone
straight into their face
that I only understand
20% of the entire time
I'm podcasting with you
is so few minutes.
But honestly, my answer's probably lower.
We always talk about it's like the Bermuda Triangle.
What are we just talking about?
No, no, no.
Remembering is different than understanding
while happening.
Right, right.
The fact that she's sitting here the whole time going,
I got nothing.
No, 20% is obviously low,
but there are some times where I just laugh.
You just laugh.
All right, let's go the
express brand is about one thing well it's about many things but one thing the most above all is
about creating confidence they want to make men and women feel uh their very best by helping them
look their very best if you don't like putting on clothes just try it one day you feel better
you feel more confident you feel happier you're like
i took time to make myself look nice that shows through um they provide easy everyday outfits to
help you look and feel nothing short of amazing for whatever life throws at you from job interviews
to first dates to milestone celebrations weddings like i was at this weekend all kinds of good stuff
they are quality clothes that look good and they feel even better.
The Express Essentials are versatile closet must-haves
for everyday effortless style.
They're the only piece you need to build your ideal wardrobe
for season after season.
You don't have to go crazy.
You don't have to be an idiot,
but you need the essential stylish stuff such as the perfect Pima cotton tee.
It is t-shirts, they got tanks, polos, all such as the perfect Pima cotton tee. It is t-shirts.
They got tanks, polos, all kinds of stuff in Pima cotton, which is extraordinarily comfortable.
They have the hyper stretch jeans and chinos that are comfortable enough to wear all day and look good enough to wear out.
They also have their one MX shirts and they have suits that are machine washable so you can wear them endlessly.
The modern tech suits are wrinkle resistant and machine washable so you can wear them again and again.
An elevated look has never been so easy.
Express has the best essentials that you need.
That's why we are excited to give you an extra 20% off your purchase in-store or online when you use code SADBOYSEASON.
That's S-A-D-B-O-Y-s-z-n and you can experience the hype for yourself
such a boy yeah whoa
what's good kfc radio this is mike or you can say the leader of the 21 because i contributed about 20 of that
black listenership so you know we do what we do we're gonna say what we say you know we flex
numbers we help out sponsors let's get some money let's get you a a bevel sponsorship that's fine
something i mean shout out but um you know yeah i'm a good couple year listening now shout
out to y'all y'all great fucking love the both of you guys you guys do what you do keep doing it
plain and simple but um i had a would you rather and a question for you guys would you rather is
would you rather have uh you can eat whatever you want with no repercussions, no health repercussions, no diet repercussions,
or would you be able to sleep anytime that you want
and feel fully refreshed?
So you can take a power nap for a minute
or you can sleep for fucking five years and do whatever.
And you know, you're still alive.
You're not in a fucking coma.
Your choice to do whatever you want.
So that's the would you rather.
And the question is,
said I might have saw're in the middle of a
quote unquote hurricane
I'm driving around at them why are the roads
so clear
find out there's a hurricane
so what do you do when you find out there's a hurricane
you grab the closest bottle
you finish it and you vibe for the rest of the night
you know roll something nice up
your choice CBD whatever
do what you do
put on a podcast put on a movie fast five do as you please so you know shout out to that but what
are some og things that you do up there like we have hurricanes here you guys have you know
windstorm snow storms up there never experienced that So do you guys just do the same thing?
Do you grab bottles,
grab some games,
go to a friend's house,
you know,
go straight to the bottle?
Yeah.
So, you know,
you know,
15,
16 years old,
the roads are flooding the street.
My boy,
you do some white boy activities.
We have my homeboy,
you know,
his brother had a F-250
snatch on a boogie board to the back.
Get the fuck out of here.
And he glided through the flood, flooded streets.
Mind you, that's my first broken bone sliding off of a boogie board going about, you know, 30, 40 in unknown waters of God knows what.
Hit the side of my side and broke two ribs.
One of the most excruciating injuries I've ever had.
So, yeah, you know.
That is some work.
Gain some scars.
Do what you got to do.
But, yeah, you know, grabbed the closest bottle I had.
But I did what I did.
I ran out.
So got to head to the liquor store.
Shout out to you guys.
I fucking love you.
Keep doing what you fucking do.
Well, we love you too first of all
second of all i didn't even get the the sign he was throwing up what what was that whole entrance
it was two to 21 right but but what was the music was like it was um hunger games i thought it was
x files it was oh you might be right yeah it, it's X-Files.
Oh, it is?
I thought X-Files too.
No, Hunger Games.
That's awesome.
21.
21% is one of the funniest things.
You know, you know.
You basically do the whole would you rather.
Eat whatever you want, sleep whenever you want.
I do exactly the would you rather.
Now that I am getting older, the sleep thing would be, bro, I wake up every morning at, like, 4 o'clock just in a state of panic and mind spinning and, like, cannot go back to sleep. And then if I do, I fall into, like, the deepest slumber ever so that when I have to wake up for have to wake up for real at like a regular time, I am like – can't function.
It is the worst.
I also am totally done.
I cannot just lay down and go to sleep anymore.
I have to listen to something.
I have a book that I listen to.
If I just lay down with my thoughts, I will never go to sleep.
Oh, I've always been that way i i used to be able to just like lay down turn my brain off and go to sleep and sleep like through the night and then
life just kept piling up to the point that none of it works anymore i hate it going to bed is like
a fucking struggle it's a fight the thought of now i could just go boom boom is very appealing
to me but food is food food i would choose the food i would choose to get me to eat whatever i
want because i do pretty much eat whatever i want but i do have guilt over it i'm like yeah i shouldn't i shouldn't
add that um sleep sleep i just i'm an easy sleeper i i do get up occasionally but like
i don't understand coffee i don't understand like i sleep and then when i wake up i'm up i'm with
you on that and like maybe i don't know i mean maybe i just don't not active enough that my body's not tired enough at night but it is a struggle to just stay asleep
through the fucking night the that i wake up just like my my like sleeping brain must let all of the
issues like come to the surface because then if i wake up and I like grab my phone and just distract myself,
dumb shit on, watch a video, like whatever, I like start to calm down.
But it's like I think my asleep brain is like now's the time.
We got to get him to like address all of his issues.
He can't bury this.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's not paying attention.
Sneak in.
And then I wake up and they see the blue screen.
They're like, fuck, he's burying it again.
He's doing it again
would you have survivor's guilt
over being able to eat and have no problems
looking at these fat people
people struggling diabetes whatever
and you're just sitting there crushing it
and you're like no repercussions
no because
just fuck them fat people
I've lived without them
so I know it's not so I know it's not that
like I know it's not that hard
but like I know there are ways to
avoid it
so I don't think I'd be like but yeah like I got a pretty good
deal right now but like yeah I also
know how to get around it I guess
um
I also struggle with sleep a lot
really? like a lot
do you go like is going to sleep with like a TV on Really? Like, a lot. Do you go, like, is going to sleep with, like, a TV on,
is that, like, a millennial thing?
Do you guys do that?
I can't do that.
I can't do that.
Just because I want to watch it.
I have, the books are the only, like,
the TV will, like, kind of distract me.
I guess I never tried, like,
oh, I have to have, like, white noise.
I'm talking about, like,
there's a difference between, like,
I need sound and I need to distract my brain.
Those are two very different things.
I guess I don't know which one I like.
I could have the TV on.
I need a fan, white noise, some rain, whatever.
That I have to hear.
And then there's another side of it where it's like I need to trick my brain
into calming down.
I think mine's sound.
The other night I fell asleep.
This is at the Airbnb.
I got home.
All my buddies were fucked up.
So they went to bed.
And I was like, oh, I'm going to watch some TV.
And old school was just starting.
And I was loving it.
It's a great night.
And I was like a legitimate baby on the couch, like fighting to stay awake.
So I was like, as I felt myself start to go, I'd eat some more candy.
I'd get
three more minutes out of it.
Then I ended up falling asleep on the couch.
I woke up at 3 a.m., went up to bed.
Even when I got up to bed, there wasn't a TV
in my room. I just put Seinfeld on my
phone and put it on the nightstand.
You're not watching it. I wasn't watching it.
I guess it didn't sound. I'm the king of
I'm on the couch.
Falling asleep. Then I go to bed I was just like, so I guess it is sound. I'm the king of, I'm on the couch. Falling asleep, falling asleep.
Then I go to bed and I'm like, lying in bed.
Like, let me just fucking read like Wikipedia pages about dumb shit that happened.
Like, did you know?
I have a big issue with sleep paralysis.
That's like in every night.
Then you're like afraid to go to sleep, right?
So scary.
Yeah.
Like I dread going to sleep every night.
But you don't, so you, when that happens, you don't, you can when that happens you don't you can't just say
to yourself like this is just sleep paralysis calm down it's okay but you know it but you can't get
out of the state but you know it's gonna end soon no but so it's like it's like this feeling of like
all you want to do is like sink into it it's like almost that scene from get out where he's like
sink yeah but you know that you can't so you have to like use all your muscles to like try and get
out of it i think i've had that then it's it's so like it takes so much energy like i wake up like panting and also i'm always
getting raped like i'm always getting raped and i can't do anything that's what happened to my
buddy the other night but it's kind of like you're like you're um like when you were just sitting in
the darkness dream or whatever it's like i, I'll just wake up after getting brutally raped and I'll be like, all right.
I'll start our day, baby.
When you get out of here, it feels really good.
Let me get a kombucha real quick and fire this one up.
It always feels good when you're like.
Well, like I have a lot of, I've been doing a lot of, but when you're sleep paralysis,
you're looking, you're like looking at the real world, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like my eyes are still closed.
I'm dreaming when I'm doing this.
And I am like, I start to like y dreaming when i'm doing this and i i am like
i start to like yelp i'm like a dog because i'm like trying to yeah in my in my dream i'm like
asking someone for help yeah and then they tell me that it's like i'm like
but i i've been getting a lot of like like the freddy krueger like double trick like in my dream
i'm getting out of my dream yeah and i realize i'm still in the dream yeah i'm like fuck this is
like a real actual horror movie.
So I've never had it where I'm like actually like awake, like my eyes are awake and I'm
like seeing things.
Because I do experience that.
Mine's like dream and dream and dream and dream.
I didn't know that that was kind of, I thought sleep paralysis was a little something different.
But I, that feeling of like, I need to get out and I can't is one of the worst.
But like, I just like, for some reason, you know, you can't like sink.
Yeah.
And it's like, why? It's the same thing as like, I just like, for some reason, you know, you can't like sink. Yeah. And it's like, why?
It's the same thing as like how there's like dream police.
Like when you know that like when like you're not supposed to say, oh, I know I'm in a dream
in a dream where else people come.
That's a common occurrence in like everything.
Have you never heard that?
No.
It's like if you say like I guarantee it, like if you realize that you're in a dream
and you try and tell someone
like by the way
I'm in a dream
somebody comes for you
that's inception
I know
but it's based off
of your life
yeah
to wake you up
what?
no no no
like in inception
you've seen inception right?
yeah but it's been a long time
when you start
like when everyone
starts attacking them
oh it's because you
acknowledge that you're in a dream
if you're acknowledging
you're in a dream
oh got it
and you're like
not supposed to like got it yeah dream please but i don't know
if that's real dreams are fucking wild it's weird that like even like two people have that common
occurrence i think dreams are funny where like people like i don't care about your dreams
i'm like kind of interested in them like i don't like is it a good story i'll hear a good story
or like if it's a quick just like yeah you were
you were fucking naked
and covering your butt
I've said this before
it also like
it tells the person
what you really think about them
like sometimes
someone will be like
you were my dream
and you like
fucked me over
and it's like
okay so you think
I'm like
I'm gonna fuck you up
yeah
I would not go around
doing that
my friend like
completely outed
that she was
Planning a surprise party for me
Because I
She was like I was trying to hide something from you
And it was around my birthday and sure enough she threw a surprise party for me
Really?
Keegan's having nightmares now and it's like very tough
For like a little kid to like explain
You know
He started crying like telling me about
the night he was like and he was like embarrassed i was like this is fucking brutal yeah why are
you having nightmares dude you should be watching like bluey um that's the second question the
it's it's why i hate that we've lost winter. The snow day used to be the day he's talking about.
There's nothing better than those days.
They're the absolute best.
When it was like you knew we're talking like 14 inches minimum.
So it was like we know we're having a snow day.
School or work is canceled.
Let's hunker down and get all the food, all the booze, get the movies ready.
And it's great with with
just your friends but it's also like great like the entire town and city like has a sense of
community because you're like it's us against the elements yeah like everyone in a bar is like
like you like we've had it like a million times like boston gets shut down you walk to the nearest
bar fireplace is going everyone like like when you show up at that bar, you're like, we've all made an agreement.
We're getting fucked up today.
I remember when we went through that spate of hurricanes when it was, like, Sandy and Isabella, I think, and a couple others.
We got whacked by them.
We kind of got, like, used to it.
And, like, my buddy who was in the flood zone downtown would come uptown and stay with me. And it was, like, our, you know we kind of got like used to it and like my buddy who was in the flood zone downtown would come uptown and stay with me and it was like it was like our you know and then inevitably
there was always like a this hurricane isn't shit man it's like people like losing their lives and
their livelihood and everything we're just in a bar being like it was awesome yeah i've never
experienced that there's nothing california man California? Oh, man. What? Yeah, I mean, you know, there's no weather.
I always was jealous that you guys, like, had, like, the fun, like, natural disasters.
You've never done a snow day?
Never done a snow day.
Oh, my God.
That genuinely, like, hurts me.
Since moving to New York.
Yeah, there probably hasn't been a single, there's probably been one snowstorm since you've
been there.
Maybe.
But, like, the levels to it, like, when I was a kid, this was really old school, but you had to watch the news and the, and the bottom line would have your
school closing and it would be like, it was like getting drafted.
Yeah.
School's closed.
Like this school and you, and like sometimes your school wasn't on the list and, but you
would sit there and wait and then it would loop over and like, and then it would get
added.
And as a kid, when you saw that or you got, or the phone rang at like 5 a.m because they had the phone chain or the parents would call each other and
said the school's closed like there were just little tip-offs that you knew and then it was
like no school that day is literally some of the best feelings i've ever had that's what everyone
says i've never and then as an adult it's like rarer but it was like blizzard's coming nobody's
gonna go to work let's get fucked up let's party you'll hunker down with like whoever you're hooking up with like whatever
that is two nights and great miles yeah yeah perfect yeah i remember there was a time based
on an article from esquire after the marathon bombing oh they got two people got two people
got like two people were together during the marathon bombing when the manhunt started and
they couldn't leave that's a little more morbid, but a better tale.
I think it was Esquire.
Maybe it was Men's Health.
Someone wrote.
The writer was a writer for that company.
Interesting.
Yeah.
All right.
We're in there.
Game time.
Good luck.
Ooh.
Ooh. Oh. សូវាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប� Thank you. Bye.