KFC Radio - The Greatest of All Time

Episode Date: January 26, 2021

Subscribe, Rate, and Leave a Review! -Tom Brady once again proved himself to be The Greatest of All Time this past weekend -Conor McGregor lost to Dustin Poirier and instantly became a meme -Top 5 Greatest/Worst Tom Brady Moments -Voicemails Let us know what you think on twitter: @KFCRadio @KFCBarstool @Feitsbarstool Subscribe to the KFC Radio Youtube Channel for the full podcast: www.youtube.com/c/kfcradio Subscribe to the KFC Radio Clips Youtube Channel for the best clips: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCspldj_2KhBix7eVxe2H8xgYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. I don't know. Tom Brady's dick and money are really the only two things I care about. It's another edition of KFC Radio on the Barstool Sports Network. Here we are again, John. How many times have we done this episode of a podcast? Ten, probably. Probably?

No. No. Six? Six, seven. Six podcasts where I have to say, yep, Tom Brady is going back to the Super Bowl. And this is the first time. I definitely, I capitulated a long time ago. Like, I gave in. I rolled over, tipped tip my cap called him daddy many

years ago a lot of the fun went away like where like there was that run when the ravens were beating them the jets beat him that one time there was enough back and forth and even a few years in a row where i was like yo brady is like a guy who you know he can't get it done there was a period of time when he like got it done young but then it was like his team and he's the mvp and he wasn't winning and it was kind of fun it was i think it was literally three years young, but then it was his team, and he's the MVP, and he wasn't winning, and it was kind of fun. I think it was literally three years. Yeah, yeah. It was a three-season span where he didn't make an AFC champion, too.

Well, no, no, no. But there was seven where they didn't win the title. Right. But getting the AFC champion. Sure. Not like he can't get it done, but when you reach that level, it's like LeBron. If LeBron doesn't win the title, it's like a lost year. You know what I mean?

So a seven-year run of me being able to be like, oh, like I do the Yankees, you know? I was like, oh, another year of, you know, clinking my champagne glasses. The Patriots lose again. What a great, like, tradition. And then it became like, this is stupid. I'm not even going to try to do this anymore. But I still hated him. And I still, like, rooted against him.

I'm always going to root against him. I am actually very confused because we watched the game together yesterday. I'm very confused by your still rooting. I felt like, so I guess your hatred is with Brady, but I thought it was more Patriots. My hatred is with Patriots fans. And knowing that all you guys still love him, I have to root against him. Okay. I want you to be upset.

Yeah, not going to happen though. Never. But I was looking forward to rooting for Brady. And then, like I said, I couldn't because Patriots fans want to see him win because you guys are just a fucking bunch of two-timing assholes. I mean, it makes perfect sense. If he went to the Jets, I'd want to see him lose. He goes to the fucking Tampa Bay Buccaneers and the NFC.

Who gives a shit? I know. But, I mean, you guys are rooting. You were rooting just as hard as if it was the Patriots. 100%. Right. So it's like, you know what I mean? It's like, all right, well then, I've always wanted misery for Yankee fans and Patriots fans.

Right now, usually it's the Patriots that cause that. It's the Bucs today, so I have to root against them. But when I saw his victory video, his patented bad boys video, and he's still just shrugging, like yeah i did it again 10 of 19 that to me because he's been in the league 21 years he's been good for a long time but this one is like i mean to me it like solidifies like brady uh belichick can go on like he has decades to continue to coach and maybe he'll have another dynasty and blah blah blah i don't think so he's gonna turn 70 this year right not decades but you know but coaching is blah, blah. I don't think so. He's going to be at 70 this year. Right, not decades. But coaching is, you have, I don't know, maybe not.

Maybe Brady outlasts Belichick at this point. But to just be like, okay, well, you don't want me anymore. You don't want to do what I want to do. I'm going to go elsewhere. We'll see how this turns out. And guess how it turned out. Super. Really fucking good for Tom Brady.

Pretty fucking bad for the Patriots. It's actually perfect that he's the first quarterback to host his Super Bowl. Of course it is. Of course. It's just like, and the last fucking check. If New England was in one of those Super Bowl destinations, he probably would have hosted four by now. Of course. If it was Miami or New Orleans. But he had the curse of playing in a weird place in New England.

Yeah, he plays somewhere in between Boston and Providence. It's not really... They need to just rename that like Bradytown, because that's all it is. It is. Everyone knows it's the town that Brady built. Fossborough was nothing before 2000, and now it's like...

I mean, it's still... He's made a rural patch of grass into a town. Right. But it's not like a fucking city. Like, he gets to be in the Super Bowl now. No, there's a Bass Pro Shop there, sure. And there's a bowling alley. But it is Tom Brady town.

And you know who is living the dream right now? Robert Gronkowski. Dude took a nap for, like, 80% of the game, but has, like, one big play that, like, kind of solidified things in a way. And then he just gets to be in, like, all brady's videos and on his jet and gets to go to the football again it's like but that's that's what i love about tom brady he's like a mob boss you know he's like if you if you like pay respect to me you show me loyalty like and and raw and

gronk seemed to be the guy like more so any other, I would imagine, why this all continued to happen. Gronk did the TB12. He didn't work out with the Patriots. He worked out at the TB12 Sports Center. And there were a couple other players who did it. He's Rob. I can't read a book, but he knows what's up. I'm riding with this guy.

That's my guy. Yeah. And you gotta give him credit, because Belichick is equally a guy that you'd be like, I'm going to ride with this guy. But you chose right. But I think you definitely chose right. And that was never clearer than this year. We're just like, there are a lot of free agents.

Or not free agents, but guys who got cut and talented guys who got cut. And then they're like, they didn't want to come play in New England. Right. They wanted to go play with Tom Brady. Yeah, they didn't want to get coached by Bill Belichick. Which I still stand by. Like Burnett, Antonio Brown. Like people are like, yeah, but you win there. to go play with Tom Brady. They don't want to get coached by Bill Belichick. Which I still stand by. People are like, yeah, but you win there.

It's like, but you win there because of Tom Brady. And if you're not going to get Tom Brady, I'm not putting up with all that fucking bullshit. You know what I mean? That is all well and good. But also, Brady definitely brought... I don't think this season definitively says one thing or the other. I don't think it definitively, but I think it really, really says a lot. If you want it on a superficial surface level,

then it does. Brady on the Patriots this year, they're not winning the AFC East. They'll probably compete for a wild card spot. He went to a good team. He took a non-playoff team to the Super Bowl. It took a 7-9 team to the Super Bowl.

It's a pretty big swing. I mean, I can't imagine. And to kind of just open this up to if you're not a Brady fan or a football fan. But, like, I mean, there's greatness. And then there's, like, LeBron greatness. And then there's probably, like, Jordan greatness. And then I think there's Brady greatness. I think it's something different.

Where it's, like, and he's so smart about it. Cause guess what? Jordan on the wizards is a joke. Tom Brady on the Buccaneers is going to maybe win a fucking Superbowl. It's like, I'll probably have to root for him. I just, because there are so many things.

Do you know, do you think he's like, who, who, who, who, who, who,

who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who,

who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who,

who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who,

who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who,

who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who,

who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who,

who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who,

who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, But I just feel like I would love to talk to the Bucs and I'd love to talk to the Packers after this

because I do believe a lot of them are just like, it's just different, man. It's just different. I think it's just like, yeah, we should just get smoked by the Chiefs, but we're ready to rock because we just know we got this dude. And it's also like it's all things that we say with the Patriots, but now it's applicable to Brady as well, where it's just like you don't beat Brady with field goals.

And then they kicked the field goal yesterday. And then like, you don't beat the Pats. The Pats let you beat yourself. Just the idea of them across the field is so scary that you do something weird. Like kick that field goal. Just like totally outsmart yourself in the worst way possible. Just like throwing the ball on the one. Why the fuck were you throwing the ball on the one?

Because you were just like, we gotta do something different because they're gonna, you know? Yeah. And it's just like, well, that's what the first 17, 18, 19, 20 weeks earns you. We instill fear in you. But I don't know. I wouldn't be surprised either way. The Chiefs could just roll or Tom Brady could pull it off because either way you're talking about

football greatness. But just like life greatness. Because if you're that good, I like to think if I I'm going to throw a couple of fun stats throughout the show, but you're not that good. Do you know Tom Brady is the third? He has

the third most playoff wins versus NFC teams. He's played in the NFC one time. So just from beating the Super Bowl? Super Bowl. Holy shit. I think it's like Favre with 13, and then Rodgers and Breeze maybe with 10,

and Brady has nine. That might be my favorite one. I didn't even play in this conference. And I'm third in playoff wins against your conference. I didn't play in this conference. That is disgusting. It's gross if you were that good if you were if you became you know if for what we do if we if you became howard stern do you think where it's undeniable if you're joe rogan or if you're dave now whatever. Undeniable that you are, like, the top of your field. Probably, I mean, it's specifically, like, so clear-cut number one with Brady.

With things like we're talking about, you know, throughout those three names. Like, one of those guys, you know? Do you think he would be, like, quiet, confident? Or would you at that point be like, I am the fucking man? Would you be like McGregor? Or would you be like Brady? Brady. I think so, too.

Because it wouldn't be a choice. It's just who I am. I agree. I would like to be like mcgregor or would you be like brady brady i think so too it wouldn't be a choice it's just who i am like i would i agree i i would like to be like mcgregor yeah i don't i don't know i think i want to be mcgregor right now i think like i think mcgregor kind of is like he's not the top like khabib is almost like brady he's just like i will kill you and mcgregor's like i gotta be a loud mouth and a showman to elevate my level that much higher but he's really not the best you know i think that's good for when you aren't the best i think it's like yeah fucking hype yourself up make people think around you because then you do go to a next level but when you are just on that level naturally being like you guys do the talking is so fucking awesome

like when i saw that video of him just shrugging again. Like, he has every right in the world. 10 of 19. It's actually bullshit. People can say it's 10 of 21. It's 10 of 19. What do you mean 10 of? 10 out of 19 seasons he's played football. He's been in the league for 21. Oh, God.

One, he was fourth on the depth chart rookie. One, he blew out his knee. It was definitely first quarter. I think it was in first drive. So that's your minus two. So he's 10 of 19. More than half the time he goes to super bowl and then 60 or 70 percent of the time he wins that super bowl and so he would have every right to make that video being like fuck bill belichick fucking new england fucked

it like i am the man but he chooses to still just be like yep and that is so much better. That's so the way to do it. It's so fucking awesome that he's just like, supermodel wife, dynasties, wherever I go, I win. Wherever I go, you win. But he's still corny as fuck. Anytime he does talk,

it's like, well, you know. Of course, him going over to his son after that game. Saw that? Asking the security guard, can I see my son? Yeah. Yeah, Tom. You can see your son.

And then Bridget was there, and Bridget was like, I couldn't be more proud of this man. He said he could do it. Yeah, well, listen, you know, she's got to keep the checks coming. That's fucking deadbeat. Bridget probably has more money than him. Bitch, I'm blue bloods. Brady's been playing for fucking minimum wage for 20 years.

Bitch, I'll support for her. Bridget's probably the – both of Brady's baby mamas are the breadwinner. That's the best. Again, that's the best. She's got that 30-episode per season CBS show on lock. Dude, that is so funny to think that he walks in and he's not the richest football player in the room ever. No. Aaron Rodgers probably has more than him.

Like, everybody, like, he goes to these Hall of Fame events or All-Star Pro Bowl, whatever. He's like, yeah. Did you see what he said? I make way less than you guys, but guess what? His fucking interview at the Super Bowl last year? What? They were asking, like, you know, what does it feel like to be here or whatever. He said, and I quote,

It's nice, but I won't be wearing a blazer to the Super Bowl next year. How about this? We have a guy at fucking Barstool who used to work for Brady, and he mentioned yesterday that at the start of every year when they're working out their calendar, they put the Super Bowl on the calendar every year. He said it was not motivational. It was not cockiness. It's just purely logistically speaking. We're probably going to be able to do the same thing at Barstool. We're going to be like, all right, I got to get my flights.

Like it's October. Book my flight. I'm going to – And it came true every time. It's so absurd. I love it. It's the best. It's the best being a Tom Brady fan. That is – I think that's because of like the way I am.

I would be – I would gladly have the sugar mama at home i would be totally silent i would be totally like calm cool collected because i'm not i've never been the mcgregor type i've never been the loud mouth so watching tom brady is just like oh that's that's what my that's my dream that's everything i could ever aspire to be and will never be close to. That's just putting yourself on a different level because this motherfucker. I'm going to read a few more fun stats. This is Brady's first season with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Tampa Bay Buccaneers were founded in 1976.

Tom Brady is the leading all-time postseason passer. Tom Brady has the most wins in playoff history since turning 35. He's got 17 since 35. Second place Joe Montana with 16. That's career. I mean. So, yeah, it is. So postseason wins over NFC teams. Far of 12.

Rodgers and Montana 10. Brady 9. Do you think Brady didn postseason wins over NFC teams. Favre, 12. Rodgers and Montana, 10. Brady, 9. Brady didn't play in the NFC! Do you think it even matters? I think there used to be an argument like Montana never lost in the Super Bowl and Tom Brady. I don't even think people throw that one out there anymore. Yeah, it doesn't. That doesn't matter.

You know what's funny though? Because guess what? Joe Montana lost in the first round like four or five times. So what's funny? Because guess what? Joe Montana lost in the first round. Right. A million times. So what's the fucking difference? What's funny is you look at basketball and LeBron is never going to get that. Because I think LeBron has surpassed that. I agree. I think he kind of did the same thing with the fucking Lakers and the Bucs.

He brought another team back. Well, in the Bucs case for the first time. But so why does he not? I remember thinking this that title for LeBron solidified it to me being like wherever he goes the title follows yeah so who cares he's the system that yeah yes Tom Tom Brady also the process is LeBron Tom Brady's the system yeah so but like and I think Tom Brady's gonna get the pass of like oh it doesn't matter he lost a couple because he's gone to so many even if he loses this one six and four like he doesn't like

he went to tens right but I but LeBron I think it will always he could win a couple because he's gone to so many. Even if he loses this one, 6-4, he went to 10-0. Right, but LeBron, I think he could win a couple more and I think it will always haunt him that Jordan was a perfect 6-6. I think it's because Jordan's more recent. There aren't any Joe Montana stans on Twitter because they're all too fucking old. But there are people who are like,

I remember Jordan because he retired in what, 98? In 2002. So there are people who watched him and are active on Twitter. There's just no one who's watched Joe Montana play. Is there anybody left who will critique Tom Brady? What do you mean? Criticize Tom Brady.

Is there anything left to even say? I don't know. People will find the thing. What could it even be now? What's his name? Scott Casimir? No, he played for the Rays. It's something like that, though. It's like Scott something.

And he's one of those fucking... Let me pull up his thing. I'm not going to tell you his full name because I don't want to give him attention. Because it's so fucking stupid. He's not a troll. He's one of those PFF guys. See, I... There was a long time where

like my job was to carry the torch and make fun of tom brady no matter what and there were times where i knew i was beat and there were times where i knew i like was at a severe disadvantage and i was like i just have to say these things about tom i just have to say the same old jokes and make the same points because someone's gotta to fight this motherfucker. And then even I had to give up. Like, I remember Dave, I think it was when they went, I guess maybe when they beat the Falcons, 28-3, and then they went against the Rams the next year. Does that make sense?

Wait. They beat the Falcons, and then they... Yes. sense wait they beat the falcons and then they um yes and i just i remember like we were doing a rundown and dave was like you're not even gonna like fight anymore are you and i was like no because i've never been like i'm not i i i will i will i will put on a show but i will not completely fabricate my takes and at that point i was like there's nothing left to say and that was a long time ago yeah i mean That was a franchise change. Max Kellerman finally last night.

That's what I mean. Max Kellerman said that since I've made the prediction that Brady will fall off the cliff, he has put on another Hall of Fame career. So if Max Kellerman is bending the knee, I don't know who's left. But this dude's pinned tweet is, I feel like I've been dealing with MAGA Trump supporters since 2003. I've just known them as Tom Brady fans because they're the same cult worshipping of a false god

and extreme ignorance to all logic and facts. I mean, it's just... Stop. Stop it. He says that ESPN has a Brady boost in their QBR formula because Brady's QBR was... Get the fuck out of here. It was 75.4 yesterday.

Who cares? People are trying to say Brady didn't play great. The first half, he should have been, I believe the half should have ended with, he had three drops. I think he was 17 of 21 or 16 of 21 for 200 yards and two touchdowns. So in the first half, he should have been 19 of 21 for 250 and two touchdowns. And then he had a few right there. And then like the one that the tip, the Mike Evans ball, not a great ball, but a very catchable ball. I mean, it bounced off your hands.

And then the arm punt, like there were there's one pick that was on him. I think one pick that could have gone either way. And one pick was just like, you could only say these things because the Packers blew it. Packers win that game. And it's like Tom Brady had that game and the Bucs, and he handed it back over. But you win, and it's like, eh, it doesn't matter. It's also one of those things where people try and be like, oh, he's lucky.

And it's not – I don't want to say people because it is not a majority. No. Most people have gone towards you. But it is like, oh, he got lucky again. He's going to his 10th Super Bowl. Yeah, lucky. If that's not luck anymore. That's what I mean. There's nothing

left to say. Luck doesn't play anymore. System doesn't play anymore. Belichick doesn't play anymore. Cheating doesn't play anymore. None of it. Nothing. It's just him. And when he plays, he goes to the Super Bowl. Every time.

That's it. It's getting stupid. It's a. It's getting stupid. It's a waste of time to discuss, to make up your QBR things, to even take calls on sports radio today about it. It's a waste of time. And it is tough for, as a Patriots fan as well, it is tough to see it because people are talking about that with Rodgers now. Aaron Rodgers fucking sucks, dude. I mean, he played a good game.

Aaron Rodgers not – Aaron Rodgers allowing that ball to be kicked is – That's what I mean. He can't be the goal because he didn't knock out Matt LaFleur and say, I'm calling this play. And you saw his quote that was like, had I known – he said, Matt, let me call third. And had I known we were going to kick it on fourth, maybe I would have done things differently. Well, then you say, whoa, whoa, third. And had I known we were going to kick it on fourth, maybe I would have done things differently. Well, then you say, whoa, I didn't know that was going to happen.

So I get to call fourth, too, because I didn't fucking know you were going to do this to me. So now I, you know, and you know what? If I was Matt LaFleur, I'd be like, OK, that was on you. Yeah, it doesn't work. I get to say Aaron decided to do this. So Tom Brady, like, what was that? If fucking I would heal someone. and decided to do this. So Tom Brady, like what was that? If, if fucking,

I would heal someone. If, if, if that was the Patriots or Tom Brady in a reverse situation and Steven Gaskowski or Ryan suck up right out of the field, it would have been like Brady would have taken off his cleat and fucking cut their throat open and left their dead body there. Well,

he said, who's going to kick? Nevermind. We'll run forth. Right. He legitimately would have been like, get back on the fucking sideline. And they would have all stopped and been like, it would have been like fucking Star Wars.

Get back. As it should be. That was insane. I figured it out. I kind of have my tears to this. As far as an individual play call of what to run, the Seahawks have the worst decision of all time.

Bar none. In terms of a strategy, clock, field position type of decision, this is the worst of all time. You think so? Yeah. I mean, this is one of those ones where it's totally inexcusable. It's one score. It was one score.

Here's the three things. It's one score. Tom Brady the ball back. Here's the three things. Four or five things. You have two minutes left. You're inside the 10. You are choosing to give the ball back to the greatest of all time. That is so disrespectful. Can I say, by the way? He was probably like putting his helmet on like,

I'm going to just go get a couple first downs in this game. You dumb fucking. I wish he walked over to them on the sideline and was just like, I'm going to just go get a couple first downs in this game, you dumb fucking... Like, I wish he walked over to them on the sideline and was just like, you guys are dumb. And four or five where I'm at, you also have one of the goats. So if you had fucking Brad Johnson back in the Tampa Bay Bucs days, like, yo, we need to rely on our defense here sort of thing, fine. But they have a goat. You have a goat. Taking the ball out of your hands and giving it to theirs? That's fucking insane.

You did something there that I'd like to shine a little light on. I want to thank you for being respectful. Because what you did, and I think this is very telling. You did it subconsciously. You called Tom Brady the greatest of all time. You called Aaron Rodgers the goat. It's a little like here.

The GOAT is a little phrase. Everyone's a fucking GOAT, you know? Dude, you fucking James Wiseman could fucking go 12 of 14 tomorrow night and ESPN will put up a highlight with a GOAT emoji. Suck a dick. We're talking about the greatest of all time. There's a fucking difference. There really is.

There really is. So for you to not rely on your like you know hall of famer to give the ball back to another hall of famer when you were down one score uh within you know inside the 10 within two minutes is like all of those things add up i think to like an individual runner run or throw it you know the seahawks will always have it but that as far as like strategy i don't i can't think of anything worse than that i mean it's over it was just like we had a chance and, I don't, I can't think of anything worse than that. I mean, it's over. It was just like, we had a chance and now we don't,

we were, we were maybe going to tie it. Now we lose. I mean, like you, I think they got the ball back with two Oh six. And there, so there are four clock stoppages.

They had their three timeouts. You got two minute warning. It's a lot of clock stoppages. It doesn't matter. So it's Tom Brady. They could have a hundred timeouts. Tom Brady was not going to give that ball back. He just wasn't because he doesn't because he goes to ten Super Bowls.

It's insane. Like I can't. You know when he won his first Super Bowl, Patrick Mahomes was in kindergarten. When he won his first Super Bowl. Oh, and also, I mean. Mahomes was pulling his pants down to his ankles to take a piss. That's what happened

in his first Super Bowl. He's the best! Oh, God! It is unbelievable just rooting for him. And I know we've done this for several Super Bowls now, but when we do the side-by-side of Tom Brady when he went to his first and now, I mean, he's a he's not the same person.

It's not the same person. It's not the same person. Tom Brady died in 9-11. They created another human in a laboratory. That's the Tom Brady you see today. I mean, that's just a fact. How about the fucking email he sent seven years ago? About that's about that was seven years ago? About, was that about Peyton?

That was seven years ago when he was like, he's done now. It was 2014, six years, yeah, seven years ago. November 2014, so we'll call it six. Wait, that was, was that deflacate? Yeah. Seven? Six years ago was deflacate? Seven would have been, because that was when the emails, I don't know, I don't know, maybe not.

Yo, I'll tell you something, man. You know, I hear this a lot from like mothers who have, who have like four or five kids, like they pump out, they're like either pregnant or giving birth like 10 years in a row. They also the same thing. They're like a piece of me died back then. Like in that, that era,

like a piece of me died to flake gate. Like it killed me as a person like that, that doing those rundowns every day for like, I think like two straight years, knowing there was nothing, but like I said, like having to like still carry the torch, it like, a piece of me died there. That fucking son of a bitch Kravitz just did a post about it. Was I wrong about Deflategate?

Probably, maybe, yeah. But spends a whole goddamn article explaining how the science was proving him wrong, and ends it with but just something in my gut tells me something happened that's not how these things work was i a mouthpiece for the league probably do i still believe something happened definitely what are you talking about you fucking son of a bitch i will never i will not be able to sleep naturally ever again because Tom Brady will be dancing in my head forever. So that's why I get my 3G. Oh, baby. The 3G.

Shout out to 3G, which is literally keeping Robert Fox alive right now. The only thing that Bob Fox has going for him right now. What's the why? Why? Because I'm not drinking, so I can't fall asleep. Oh, that's true. So I do a 3G every single night, and I'm in bed. I am unconscious within 15 minutes.

You will snooze, baby. It is the best. It usually takes me about three hours of fall sleep. 10, 15 minutes, I'm out. It is unbelievable. The last two nights I've started National Treasure. Can't even get to Independence. I haven't even gotten to Modern Times yet.

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The other side of the coin in sports is McGregor, which is just tough to watch. I don't think it's tough to watch. It was because he was winning that. Like, he was – I thought he was going to knock him out in the second round because he was winning. And I'm not an expert. That's the thing. You say that, but, like, when you find out how much his leg was fucked, it's like he – like, Poirier might have been like, you're not winning. I know exactly where we stand.

I know what's happening here. Like, you're not going to be able to stand in two minutes yeah you know it is like feels that way maybe but probably wasn't i i never thought of that that leg kick stuff as anything more than just like kind of like like a light jab just kind of like feeling out distances and things like that i always just thought it was just like that is the new shit that like novices learned in the past like year or 18 months i'm like oh yeah like the calf kick yeah you could debilitate it's debilitating, bro. It's debilitating. I never fucking knew that.

You know what the equivalent of that is? You know when you're watching football with your girl or someone who doesn't watch football and they're like, why do they just run it into the middle every time? Why do they just run into each other? And you're like, you gotta establish the run! That's the same thing. When I'm watching that, I'm like, stop. Sets up the play action. Just fucking watch the game and enjoy it,

alright, babe? Give me a beer! That's the meme from the Astros game. Sets up the play action. Just fucking watch the game and enjoy it, all right, babe? Give me a beer. That's the meme from the Astros game. Go set out the run. But that's me watching those fights. Like, stop just kicking him in the leg. Just punch him in the face. I don't want to see you kick him in the leg.

Just do something cool. It's like, yeah, this is the most important thing you can do. Yeah, he can't stand up anymore. Right. I'm going to win the fight. Yeah. But I like McGregor. I think McGregor actually has turned a little bit of a corner because when you talk so much shit, but then when you lose, you're just like fucking devastated.

I can't believe it. Like, congratulations. And I'm going to come back and try again. It's like, well, okay. Yeah. I don't know what else to say. He puts on a sore he's a a sore winner and a gracious loser which is a weird combo that just works where it's like but even he's not even a sore winner really because i feel like he always kind of he'll hype himself up but he always

kind of gives person the other person props or talks about them whenever so he's actually gracious all around he's just a showman but if if he's just irish yeah like he's just an irish person i know when you but when you just cop to it it's like okay well i mean you know all right yeah you were gonna i was gonna like clown you and you can't really i mean everyone in the sport is kind of just like yeah like gracious in defeat and like dustin loved him and like you know everyone's just like and and he just owns it like yeah he has like it's like irish also like bit of a hockey player thing where like yeah like i always like those are my favorite mic'd up hockey moments when like two guys get in a fight and they're in the box being like oh yeah yeah yeah yeah you're like i'll fucking catch you up at bio steel this year i'll fucking go again right right that's like that's how it is

yeah he's a fucking good lad like yeah and like yeah it's actually one of my favorite scrubs episodes is uh it's starting colin farrell andubs episodes. It's starring Colin Farrell. And Colin Farrell knocks a guy out at a bar. And then, like, he's just sitting bedside. And the doctor's like, who are you? He's like, I'm the guy who knocked him out. And they're like, I'm here to take care of him. Make sure he's okay.

And then, like, the cops get called. He's like, yeah, I did it. Yeah, right. I mean, that's. that's like yeah that's just dude you ever feel like you're you're a little more of that than me but i feel like i'm like i don't even like deserve to be irish sometimes but i see like cool shit like that i'm like oh man you're irish i'm not i'm like yeah i'm like 21 and me irish you're like irish irish you're fucking irish you know i spit into a tube they're like your mom fucked an Italian yeah you watered it down

your mom really watered the cool shit down yeah yeah I see I know but McGregor is like I actually I didn't

once I saw I knew like 7 o'clock I was like there's no fucking shot I'm making it to this fight tonight my kids were like being terrible

and then I saw that the ESPN stream had problems. Which it did for me. I bought it early. I don't know if that matters, but I bought it early on in the day just because I knew I was going to watch it. And so from when I turned it on, it never even flickered. I would have been so disappointed and all that shit.

So I didn't even get to see all the hype and the pomp and circumstance. But McGregor, you know what I think is a huge part of McGregor? I think he's got the greatest tattoos of all time. Yeah. Like, a lot of tattoos are bad tattoos. He's got just the three big ones. The McGregor, the lion, and, like, the eagle or some shit, whatever's on his chest. The lion's on the chest. Lion's, like, here. There's, like, a lion

face here. There's, like, the wing thing on the chest. I think they're together. Oh, okay. It's all one tattoo. And then the McGregor across the ass. It's the lion's face. i wouldn't call it wings but it definitely sprawls yeah what okay so that's all a lion yeah okay that is yeah no see look at that see the the lion's on the belly oh you're right the lion's on the abs the it's like a gorilla you're very right i thought that said notorious and then he put mcgregor across the abs in the middle there. Oh, okay.

Yeah, you're right. But, like, that's so dope. Yeah. That, like, just three like that. And then, I mean, he's got the ones in the arms, too, but, like, whatever. The chest piece just being like, what the fuck? Like, this is a warrior. But, you know, the accent, the swagger, the music, the name, the tats, all of it.

And but now it's just like, hmm. But you can't back any of it up anymore. Yeah. I mean, yes. It's my heart that wants to say no. And speaking of my heart, if Brady had lost that game and Brady got memed, I'd have killed myself last night. If I had to deal with losing McGregor and Brady the same weekend, I'm dead. That's the problem.

Yes, it's gracious and people in the sport will respect it. Jake Paul ain't respecting it. The internet ain't respecting it. That man now becomes a meme? That man is now reduced to Nate Robinson? Come on! That ain't right! But that's the fight game, man. That's why the fight game is so important. That's why it's

the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. He said that himself, even. Jake Paul was insufferable to start. He's the polar opposite of highs and the lowest of lows but that's he said that himself even but i mean jake paul is was insufferable to start and i mean he's the polar opposite of connor it's like like now probably wouldn't be the time to be like clowning him i mean mcgriner has never said anything to this dude right no he didn't he didn't say he gave props to jake to logan it's like fair play fair play you know but like jake paul is is

running up the score as if this guy like fucked his girl or something you know like if there's like this blood feud and it's just like dude he just doesn't fight you that's it he's like making the video laughing i'll give you ten thousand dollars now like your career is over it's like like no it's not like he's gonna get 20 to fight poor yeah yeah he'll fight yeah they'll do the trilogy maybe he'll win and then he'll get like a shot at the title again but i don't know though i mean i i can see again i don't know enough about it but it's like it does feel like i don't know he beat cowboys their own but even most people like yeah that was kind of like a tomato can yeah i i don't know enough about this this world to really

speculate enough like but like also it is wild to see. I think his stats after the fight was like, McGregor's like 35-5. That's crazy. Ever since McGregor became McGregor, I've watched every fight. I've bought every fight. I want to say it's like eight fights. Where the fuck were these? It's like 25.

I think that shit must be like an empty gym in Dublin. Also, what sucks too is that he bursts on the scene for people like you and I to watch when he became like the champ champ. Like if we were on the bandwagon early enough to watch him become the double champ, like that was truly the actual peak of McGregor. The persona of McGregor peaked like with us, but the fighter McGregor peaked before the hype thing. You know what I mean? So like the hype was like lagging a little bit, which kind of sucks because he was probably like, oh, that was when I was at my best. Now you guys are kind of on the wrong side of things.

But I don't know. That's got to be the weirdest thing in the world to like when you're, if you feel like you can't win anymore, it's like, what do you do? Or does he not? Does he feel like every fight, you know, like Khabib was talking shit

and he was like, I'll fight him right now. Like, Khabib will rearrange your face again, dude. I don't believe it. How old's Khabib? I don't think he was like, I'll fight him right now. Like, Khabib will rearrange your face again, dude. I don't believe. How old's Khabib? I don't think it matters. I mean, he's a bear. He's a human bear. He fights bears.

Yeah. Like, when he said, I want to change your face and then did it, it's tough. That is, I mean, he, that guy's got to come back and fight again, no? Everybody fucking comes back for one of these, you know? I feel like McGregor would be the one to bring him out. If McGregor somehow came back, I think it could be I'll go kill this guy. I think he's got a long way to go until that.

He's got to win like three fights before that. I know. I feel like it's kind of a wrap, but I hope not. I don't fucking care if he keeps losing. I just like watching I know, but at some point you we can't do this every time. You know what I mean?

Yeah. It's like calling Aaron Rodgers the GOAT, and it's like, well, he never fucking wins. It's even worse if he keeps losing. He has many NFC Conference championships. It's already. That's pretty good. All right, we watched one great continue his All-Star Hall of Fame career.

We watched one come to an end. But no matter what, Miller. How many Hall of Fame careers do you think Brady's going to end up with? Three? Yeah. He'll play at least until he's 35. 45. 45.

And he'll have like 37 to 45, 30 to 37 in his 20s. That's disgusting. Yeah. My dream is for him to win two in Tampa and come back to New England, and we'll go two more and win 10. It's not insane. No, it's really not. How many beers do you think you've had over the course of Tom Brady's career?

Woo, mama. Couldn't tell you. In the tens of thousands, right? Couldn Woo, mama! Couldn't tell you. In the tens of thousands, right? Couldn't even come close to ballparking. Don't know. Drinking Miller Lite from the time that Tom Brady won a title till now. But no, even then, no I didn't. When Tom Brady first won a title, I was 12.

Yeah, you weren't even drinking then. So from Tom Brady's third title. I didn't get into the drinking celebratory until Tom Brady's second act. Tom Brady's whole first act, I was too young. I was way too young to be drinking. Which is a funny thing people like to do on social media. You weren't even a Pats

fan. I think after your tweet yesterday where you were like, these motherfuckers are like, would you call me Uncle Tambert? It was very funny. But then they're fucking, and then someone was like, yeah, all Pats fans are frauds like they weren't even a Pats fan

until Brady got there I was 10 I couldn't have been I didn't even have the choice to like put on the TV I liked the Patriots I wasn't you're right

I was not a diehard until Tom Brady got there but I do think you guys are Tom Brady fans I'm also a Patriots fan but I'm also 100% a Tom Brady fan but I think you're more

of a Tom Brady fan than you are a Patriots fan I thought I thought I might have been. At the start of the season, I realized I wasn't. It's pretty fair. If they're both playing, it's balanced. Right now, I'm 100% a Tom Brady fan. So if you're of age, drink your Miller Lights and watch Tom Brady win again.

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that Miller Lite. So get that Miller Lite. Great taste, less filling. It's 2021. Time to switch it up. If you're not a Miller Lite guy, get on the train. If you are a Miller Lite guy, that's the one thing you keep steady. Just keep drinking that Miller Lite.

Go to MillerLite.com slash Kc to find the delivery options near you celebrate responsibly from the miller brewing company milwaukee wisconsin per 12 ounces 96 calories and 3.2 grams of carbs less than one gram of protein so get them delivered right to your door let the good times roll with miller light top fives today top five keep it rolling brady What are your top five Tom Brady moments? And I'll give you my top five least favorite moments with Brady. Okay. So we start one, right? Yeah, you start at one.

Okay. My number one favorite. Your first pick. I mean, this is top. No, it's easy for me. Really? Yeah. My number one favorite Tom Brady moment is that when Tom Brady got suspended for deflating.

He went to Capri and leave. That is my all-time favorite Brady moment. I went to jail. Brady went to Italy. It was a full-blown... He got off the phone with Goodell and was like, thank you for the vacation, sir. I'll see you in a month. I'll see you when you're handing me the Super Bowl MVP award.

Catch you later. And that picture with Gisele where he's just kind of playing with her butt, I don't know if he's spanking... I think he's pulling up her bikini. The best. He just like, yeah, I got a four-week vacation, baby. That was the best thing that ever happened because then he only had to play 12 games.

He was fresh. He was good. He was unbelievable. Best thing that the league ever did. The worst thing in their eyes. Like the worst thing that they did was give him a break. Yeah. Yeah.

That's – I might – see, it's impossible with Brady because like I might – I could go all non-football. Yeah. Yeah. You go non-football. I could easily go non-football. My worst is got to be 28 to 3 i think 28 to 3 because that one what you went hard i remember being in the i was at that game and i remember being in the stands like refreshing like i just like sitting down like slumped over

like refreshing twitter seeing your fucking bullshit hard Hard. And I was, like, I wasn't, I was not as, I was somewhere in between Desolate and Dave, because Dave was doing the exact opposite. Dave's like, Tom Brady's coming back, don't worry about it. Yeah. And I was, like, 28-3. Yeah, he's bad. You can't really,

I can't be that fake confident. Right. But I wasn't as, like, this is over-over, but, actually, at one point in that game, I did say this is over over but i actually at one point in that game i did say this is over it was the julio jones catch in the fourth right because that's where i was like because it was yeah and those fucking assholes just took like a 20 yard sack yeah it should have absolutely been over just just fucking sit there take a knee a couple times kick a field goal and it's over yeah it was it was that that was like that would never forgive them for that sack would drop me into my seat i was like fuck that's like because they were on the

comeback yeah that was but what's funny is as like i i've always told i wish there was a camera on me like behind the scenes because i was doing i was sending those tweets like oh fuck i don't know about this i'm texting with dan i'm texting everyone like until there's double zeros on the clock i'm not really confident at all and then it started to happen and i was like oh my god it's happening and then julio jones happened and i was like no no we're good and then and then that was that was the catch where like edelman like caught his fingertips that was another where i like in in the stadium i was like no way did he catch that and they showed up on the jump and mind you i'm watching this entire game game alone because Hank was on the exact night. Oh, no.

I don't know if I even want to look at these fucking tweets. Wow. You pull those up. Man. Hank was on the concourse. So it was just like I was alone by then. And I will say this because I was in a Patriots fan section. It was very, very clear to the fans in the section that something was happening.

Yeah. When the fourth quarter something was happening. Yeah. When the fourth quarter started, we all stopped. No one was high-fiving. Everyone was just like, just wait it out. Wait it out. Here it comes. Here it comes. It was very clear.

What is this here? The main one that went viral was Lady Gaga jumping off the roof. And I was like, this is all of the Patriots fans right now at halftime. These are all your tweets from that night? My goodness. There's a lot of fucking tweets. But, I mean, that's how you know. Bro, you sent 300 tweets that night.

Well, you're looking at my replies, too. So I was replying to people, I think. Oh, I see. I mean, there's a lot of fucking tweets of me just being like, yup, it's happening. And then me being like, yup, it's happening. And then me being like, yup, it's happening. You know, those are the two things. Being like, finally, they've met their match.

Oh, no, wait, it's just the same thing is happening. It was... Because that was... I do believe that a lot of times, if like... What would happen to Brady had he lost a couple of those? I think... I'm just just gonna jump to my second pick real quick is the seahawks game because the seahawks game restarted the dynasty

that was the bridge to connect and had he lost that and it was like we're going on like a decade of not winning or something i don't know probably not knowing who he is now but maybe he would have been like maybe giselle would have been like all right all right honey like that's enough and maybe he would have just fucking stopped or maybe the patriots would have been like, all right, honey, that's enough. And maybe he would have just fucking stopped. Or maybe the Patriots would have been like, we got to move on. Or something. When you have that long of a gap, but the Seahawks throw the fucking ball, and it just starts the whole machine back up again. And it was like, I mean, that was the most I've ever been 99.9% confident

in something. They catch that ball, and nobody can remember that guy's name. He should have one of the greatest moments ever in Super bowl history with that catch to set it up at the one and i was like squatting next to the tv like looking out the other guy that's a curse right might have been yeah yeah and i like i looked at like the one other guy at the super bowl party i was at one of the super bowl parties like girls nobody fucking cares you know and look at the one other guy being like this should be it like Like, they have Marshall Lynch and they're on the fucking like one. It's actually funny.

First in one. Like, they have to get in here. And then they do that. And I walked home in Hoboken. They lived in like southwest Hoboken. I lived on like northeast Hoboken. And I walked in the fucking snow. Just miserable.

Miserable. It's one of those things where like caitlin even knew like i'm not even not gonna even say anything like don't i'm not doing nothing no dishes nothing it's actually fucking funny that you you bring up the curse catch because the people who try and say it's all luck brady has been incredibly unlucky in like like in order to beat him you've had to have you're the lucky one where it's like the helmet catch the Mario Manningham catch the fucking the Javon

curse catch Brady throwing for 500 yards and four touchdowns and being the only quarterback ever to lose doing that and not in Super Bowls in football games the only quarterback to ever lose throwing for 504 is Tom Brady in a Super Bowl. You got lucky to beat that.

Yeah, and you needed a ridiculous play. Yeah, I mean, it's... He doesn't get lucky. You get lucky to beat him. You get lucky to even lose to him in the Javon Kerskis. Like, it is... You are the one with the luck. He is the one who is the greatest of all time, not the GOAT.

Don't you fucking abbreviate it. My second favorite moment is Tom Brady dancing at Carnival! The Brady dancing Carnival! There has never been simultaneously someone more for Giselle and less for Giselle than Tom Brady. He has absolutely no business being with her

and he's also the only person on the planet who should be with her. Yeah! God, his hair is on the planet who should be with her. Yeah. God, his hair is so bad in that, too. Like that weird ponytail. To piggyback on that, has there ever been someone more for Giselle and less for Giselle? There's also never been someone more cool and less cool. Yes, I know. He's impossibly cool and impossibly uncool.

Right. It's a beautiful thing. Like, you know, I will, my third pick is his Uggs sponsorship. I feel like Uggs and Tom Brady will just be like inexorably connected forever and it was always something that we could like

make fun of him for, but you know me. The whole time I was going like, I like Uggs. I think Uggs are cool. Uggs are really comfortable. You were in Uggs? No, I was, yeah. I mean, they're like, I like Uggs. I think Uggs are cool. Uggs are really comfortable. You were in Uggs? No, I was, yeah. I mean, Uggs and me embodies my relationship with Tom and me, my non-existent relationship with Tom Brady, where I'm like, yeah, it's fucking lame.

Fuck that guy. That's awesome. That's my entire existence with that guy. But we made fun of him for his Uggs, and then he made Uggs cool by just being like, well, if he does it, it's cool. And he also is like an owner. Right. Tom Brady doesn't do advertising. He goes, give me a piece of the company.

I'll fucking wear it. If he's fucking wearing your wallet. Which Giselle taught him, by the way. I know. Giselle taught him all his business acumen. Number three is going to be Brady's beer chugging stories. My favorite one is obviously the one he was on Colbert where he just fucking smoked it. But the one in Buffalo where they, I want to say it was Sunday night football,

maybe it was Monday night football, snow game, couldn't come home afterwards. They had to stay in Rochester for the night. They went to Dinosaur BBQ and Brady, they were all egging Brady on to all the offensive linemen. We're like, come on, let's have a beer, come do a jog off. And this is like late Brady. This isn't 24-year-old Brady. This is like, I want to say he's like 33, 34, something like that. Came in, said, just so you guys know, you're all going to lose.

And then smoked everyone, spiked the glass on the floor, and walked away. King. King shit. My next pick is that. That same thing. Because that was, like, I don't like Derek Jeter, and I don't think he's that cool of a guy.

I think he, like, sucks, and I think even as he won so much, eventually I had to be like, well, yes, on the field is undisputed, but off the field, this guy sucks. He's not nice. He's weird, the whole nine. When every story about Brady is the same, and even Jordan is not like Jeter, but he's not like Brady either, where it's like he's kind of weird and unapproachable and this goat on another level and all that shit,

whereas Brady, it's very hard to fucking hate when it's like, god damn it. Another fucking story like that is coming out, you know? So makes it hard to hate. Okay. Fuck you, Tom. Number four is – am I at four? Yeah. Yeah.

Number four is going to be the goat photo shoot. That was fucking like – Everybody's got a bad photo shoot, but it's then – Your bad photo to be the goat photo shoot. That was fucking like... Everybody's got a bad photo shoot, but it's then... Your bad photo shoot became the perfect photo shoot. Yes. Way, way before that was a thing. Goats weren't even thrown around. It wasn't like, oh, he's the goat.

Tom Brady was like 23 years old just taking a picture with a goat. When we just slapped that picture on a T-shirt, just ridiculous. That was a premonition. That was just like, here's what's... He's even confused in this picture. He he's like what the fuck is going on giselle was back there going like don't worry don't worry don't worry no this is before giselle oh yeah this is like this is like tara reed like coked out of her fucking tits like you look great tom you look unbelievable just keep doing that it's so funny to think that like tara reed would

just get like blacked out and probably devour Tom Brady's cock. You know, they were probably like doing some wild shit. He was blacked out too. He, when he, like his early 20s, couldn't pull the guy out of Faneuil Hall. Yeah. Just fucking getting ripped up in a Michigan fucking fitted, just drunk as shit with Tara Reid, slamming glasses of beer on the floor. Man. That is why it's also funny too, like,, with young quarterbacks, they'll be like, I mean, bad example,

but Manziel was one of them, where it's just like, oh, you'd never see Tom Brady do that. At his age? Yeah, you would. Oh, yeah, you did. Yeah, you would. It was just before fucking smartphones were around. He's so lucky.

So you couldn't tell. I can't, like, who knows? Like, what if there were some videos of that shit, and the Patriots were like, all right, fourth stringer, get him the fuck out of here. Right, right. You know? God.

I'll go with mouth kissing his kids. Why does he do that? I don't know. It's very odd, but like, I think he does it to his dad too. Yeah, there's that one picture of them, like, open mouth kissing. No, that's Belichick and his daughter. I think there's Tom and his dad too, though. Really?

I think so. I think so. That's so weird. In this case, it's his son kissing him. Look how long he stays there. That's a solid referee. Like, one, two, three. That's not three count.

That's almost a five-second violation of the NBA. And he's kissing him. That is insanity. Why do you do that? It's a lot. It's a lot. It's a lot. But whatever.

All right. My number five favorite thing about Tom Brady is going to – or favorite Tom Brady moment. I have one for you. I can't believe you haven't said this. It's like him acknowledging the Brady Four. You're like part of Tom Brady's history. Yeah, okay, we'll go with that. Yeah.

He said thank you for your service and then deleted it. Yeah. Thank you for your service. I think with prayer emojis or something like that. I mean. What up, TV? What the fuck is up, baby? There will come a time that he'll probably have to wait until he retires

because he just is such a pro. But he'll take you all to dinner or something like that. Or you'll be in the same place at the same time, and he'll have a beer and smash a beer. That will happen, and that will be the greatest moment of your life. Yeah, it will. I'm really nervous right now. Yeah.

I want to have a moment with him like where i can sit down with him and be like you ruined my life oh you know he will revel in that yeah he will be so happy to hear that i think that would appeal to him more than seeing you 100 you know 100 and i think that's more compelling and interesting because like he'd rather walk through a graveyard than walk through like the canyon of champions. Absolutely. Especially because he's done it forever. But that dude ruined

my time here. Made it infinitely worse. Gave Dave all the ammo. Gave Boston all of the... Everything. You ruined it for me. I want to have that conversation.

Or just be able to say that to him, you know what I mean? He might not say anything in the whole conversation. Because I'd be like, I got to meet Vinatieri. He'll be like, go on.

Yeah, yeah, right, just keep going. When I met Vinatieri, I was, I said that to him. I was like,

fuck you, man. And he like, got a kick out of it and laughed. And then like, just recently, Willie McGintis followed me

on Instagram. We talked a little bit and he was another one who was like, that guy's fucking awesome. You know what I mean? And I just recently, Willie McGintis followed me on Instagram. We talked a little bit. And he was another one who was like, that guy's fucking awesome. You know what I mean? And I was like, he said to me, I'm a fan of your work. And I said, I wish I could say the same. I am not a fan of your work. I am the opposite of that.

But they kind of laugh. And I feel like Tom Brady would not laugh. He would just be like, I know. Tell me. Yeah, tell me more. Tell me more. Tell me more. Talk dirty.

Talk dirty to me. Voicemails? Let's do it. Voicemails today are tell me more. Tell me more. Talk dirty. Talk dirty to me. Voicemails? Let's do it. Voicemails today are brought to you by Crossrope. Yay. Guess who's been jumping rope? Six days in a row. You lose any weight?

I jump rope. We weigh every Wednesday. That's why I'm going to weigh myself because I never weigh myself. Yeah. But the moment you left yesterday after the game, I had to blow some energy. Did a quick 25-minute jump. Yeah, I just put my mask on and put my jacket on and everything when they kicked the field goal.

And they were like, I was like, I'm going home. Goodbye. I'm leaving you guys. I did stick around to wait, but I really thought about just walking out right then and there. Yep, Johnny's doing his cross rope where he's getting his jump rope on where he's doing a mixture of cardio and muscle building. That's the main difference here.

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The jump rope itself, they have different weights, different sizes. So you can do it heavy. You can do it light. You can do it for cardio. You can do it for muscle. I actually like the half pound one the best. Really? Somewhere in between?

I have quarter pound, half pound, one pound, two pound. Two pounds, hard as shit. I'm awesome at it. Don't worry about it. But the – it is – I actually – because I remember during quarantine when I was working out at home and I would do the workouts with my dad. And I was always making fun of him because I was like, dude, you don't even know how to jump rope with a two-pound weight. You're just struggling over here. Two pounds is a lot to jump rope with.

It feels so heavy. You got to like really. Otherwise, that's like falling on you. You got to keep it moving. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's the difference with Crossrope, though, is like you're going to get a full workout. Your heart and your lungs are pumping, but also your muscles are working, too. It's exciting.

It's easy. It changes up so you don't have to just do the same old repetitive act over and over and over again. It's fun, and it gets the job done. The full body workout that you need right now, you can go to Crossrope.com slash KFC. Get $50 off your bundle. uh you get the get fit bundle you get the ropes you get all the different handles and you get 50 bucks off when you go to crossrope.com slash kfc it's the most popular jump rope fitness bundle in the world right now that's crossrope.com slash kf. So guys, so, uh, last night I was sitting around thinking, uh,

back to middle school or whatever, when zone out and think what you would do, you know, if time froze and you were the only one who wasn't froze and whatnot. And, uh, I was thinking, you know,

if time froze for 12 hours and you were the only one who wasn't froze, what would you do? Like I would try to get into top secret places or whatever and read some shit and see what's actually going on but i mean what else out there is it there that you could do or you know see here's the thing that's a great question but you also have to operate within the bounds of reality like okay time's free you don't have a key to get into any of these fucking doors or any of these buildings to get your secret documents. You know what I mean?

Yeah. My thing is pretty secret. I was just going to look at Tom Brady's dick. My thing. I was thinking about. I would just go Ted. I would just hope he's sleeping. Hopefully it's after 6 p.m.

And he can just be in bed and I just go check it out. I think I would do like a Celtic pride thing. I think I would have kidnapped Tom Brady. Then bring him where? I don't know. Because guess what? He's going to get out. No, I would tie him up.

I would lock him down. I would have Tom Brady in like a fucking saw box with his head. Like if you move, you're dead. I will let you out. I will let you out as soon as the game's over. I will. I'm not going to kill you, Tom's over i will i'm not gonna kill you yeah yeah but enough i'm not here to hurt you right yeah and like i don't even care you can

tell on me afterwards i here's my face right i'll be a fucking hero i will go down i will go to jail for that if i if i'm like i'm the guy who kidnapped tom brady to let them fucking lose it it is quite the legacy that would be awesome i would love that um fucking. By the way, my favorite meme, I guess, of all is the people that whoever sent the Aaron Paul clip from Breaking Bad where I was like the fucking like Tom Brady's doing it again. And Aaron Paul from Breaking Bad was like, he can't keep getting away with this. Somebody's got to stop him. He can't keep getting away with this. I forgot because the meme always has like

the first cry and i forgot that he just follows it up with the second just like anger yeah he can't keep getting away with this i would i would um there is also i i don't know because this is all this is one of those things where it's just like this is it's a very hard question i think realistically the best thing you can like the most actionable thing you could do is like get into some shit at work and like i don't know find out some shit like find out you know something that your boss is keeping from you or find out what your competitors are doing or something like that, right? Yeah, probably. What else is going to affect your day-to-day when 12 hours is up?

I mean, 12 hours, you could just walk around all of New York and just pop into every store and hope time got frozen while the register's open. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's probably the best thing you do is just go check where you can get money. Yeah.

I mean, if a bank is... I mean mean there's always going to be like some sort of vault situation but i don't know go bank to bank it is money is just such a lame i hate giving a money answer but it is it's like i don't know the homburg's dick and money really only two things i care about i feel like uh what if you are what if you were like you know what i would do okay how long you know what girls do? They would just look through their boyfriend's phone for 12 straight hours. They would just be like, let me use this frozen face, and I'm just going to look at his phone for half a day.

I would go... Actually, I have my answer now. I would go to Disney, Marvel Studios, and I would learn everything. I just hope someone's laptop's open, computer's open, and I would learn everything, and then I would say, I know learn everything. I just hope someone's laptop's open, computer's open. And I would learn everything. And then I would say, I know it all.

Cut and check. Yeah, I will tell them. I will tell all of them. Although, I'd probably get murdered. They would probably realistically murder me. Yeah, but that's why you got to do like, I have, upon my death, it will release to the public. Sort of thing. You got to set that up. But imagine if you were like, yo, I know what happens in the next like infinity war part two or whatever and they'd be like no you don't

i'd be like well chris evans comes back and they'd be like oh fuck he does know that's a good one that's that's probably the only realistic thing but i also believe that they would kill him i genuinely believe that and i think they'd be well within their rights yeah i think because i'm i'm threatening to expose a multi-billion dollar franchise. People have been killed for much less. Think about what happened to Shady McCoy when he fucking ruined the... When he spoiled Endgame.

And that was just a harmless... You didn't even realize. If you maliciously, intentionally did this, Bob Fox would kill you. Forget about Marvel. I wouldn't... Or, actually, that might be a better way to do it. I'll crowdsource it.

Like, I'll put up a GoFundMe. I know the answers. Oh, you want them? If this doesn't get to $70 billion. Oh, I like that. I'd buy billboards everywhere. And everybody would do it. I'd buy ads on radio.

I'd buy ads on television. That is a brilliant answer. It is. Discover the Marvel secrets. Hold them hostage. Like, the nerds would pay up. You know what I would do after that? They'd probably kill me. Again, this would all end in my death.

I would get the money, hit my account, I would go somewhere with Armie Hammer on an island somewhere, and then I would just release the secrets anyway. Just watch the world burn. Thanks for the money. Also, she dies. Just so clear, Jon Snow does not do a good job.

In the, was it the Eternals? The Eternals is going to suck. Jon Snow was only good as Jon Snow. Yeah, that's it. You know what I mean if you've seen MI6. I think that's the movie he's in. What a piece of shit that was. He was in that Netflix series, like the Interrogation or whatever, where they interrogate these people.

Oh. Terrible. Yeah, I know what you're talking about. I only saw, I saw like the firstation or whatever, where they interrogate these people? Oh, um... Terrible. Yeah, I know what you're talking about. I only saw the... I saw, like, the first season of that. Me too. It's, like, terrible. Not good?

Terrible. Next up. Kit Harington, you four-foot-tall fucking dick. What up, KFC? Bye. So, I have a story for you with a two-part question. So, I have a story for you with a two-part question. So I have a fat ass relevant to this

story. Anyways, when I was in college, I was hooking up with a basketball player. He was so infatuated with my fat ass that he just wanted to jack off onto it. I had to do nothing else but later and let him jack off onto my ass. Anyways, he's jacking off onto my ass. I get bored. I grab my biology flashcards. I start studying. So my question for you guys is, what is the weirdest non-sex sexual thing you have done? Do you think you could finish on a girl that is so uninterested and bored that she is literally studying biology? All right. Love you guys. Have fun with this question.

I'm in, bro. First of all, no. No to your first question. Oh, okay. But second of all, yes. Oh, second of all, no again. Really? First of all, no.

I'm not telling you the weirdest thing I've ever been infatuated with. I tell you enough, okay? We give you 99%. I'm going to keep 1%, please. Give me a fucking break. You know, how creepy would it be if it was like if like well one time

one time I was jerking off on her knees like no bitch I'll answer it I don't really have like there's nothing like I don't know a vagina

I don't know like it's either a vagina or an ass I don't know I don't really have anything that fucking weird actually I'm definitely gonna answer this

just so your minds don't run wild but that fucking weird. I'm definitely going to answer this just so your minds don't run wild. Clits and buttholes. That's better than where their minds are going to go. Those are the two things I get infatuated with. Clits, buttholes, and nipples. And mouths. I feel like I could...

This is growing quick. I'm not gonna tell you here's the five things I come on Tom Brady's dick and a half-back dive to set up the fucking play action pass I think I easily could by the way, number two I couldn't, I could

if that was the agreed upon thing I don't know, you're dating for a while or whatever and that's just like I don't think it matters how long. I could – don't get me wrong. I could do it. I could fucking get off right now. Yeah, that's what I was going to say.

I'll just – I will come anywhere, anytime. I'll fucking – I'll come on that granted sink. I'm brushing my teeth. Like whatever. I'll sack tap myself right now and come. It doesn't matter. But the – I would feel weird.

Oh, I wouldn't feel great about it, but I could do it. I wouldn't love the fact that she's got her flashcards out, but hey. I would feel like a pervert. I would get some like, she doesn't even know this is happening vibes. Uh-oh. And that would make me feel not good about myself yeah again i wouldn't feel great about it but i will achieve i will get there if it's like if you're like this is how i get off by like you jerking off while i study i don't know this i

guess i could do it i'm not i would i would be like you know what i'm gonna go to the bathroom real quick you just study yeah i feel you. I definitely think there's something. Usually, the problem is, it sounds like if she's studying, that they're in school still, right? I should probably just stop breaking this. Maybe the left side will be stronger. John's just standing on a wood sign, just hearing it crumble under his weight.

I've always found it to be like, usually it's like a married couple who it's like, okay, fine, just put it in and like, usually it's like a married couple who it's like, okay, like, fine. Like, just like put it in and like finish and we gotta go. And I'm like, that is the most, I hate that. I would never like, no. I'm okay.

Oh, okay. Blue balls don't exist. I'll just go to bed. Yeah. Like, I don't need that right now. I'll pop on fucking National Treasure and fall asleep. But if it's some weird kink thing where it's like, I don't know, dude wants to jerk off on butts.

She's like, okay. And I also got shit to do. Whatever. This is, I mean, how fat is your ass? Yeah, this ass must be fucking phenomenal. So does a picture. And listen, if it is that fat of an ass and she is the type to just let you do what you want to do, it's Valentine's Day coming up.

And you got to make sure. What the fuck? Yeah, man. I mean, we got to. What day is it? What's today? It's almost the end of January. So you got to get your yeah man i mean we got a day is it what's today it's almost it's the end of january so you got to get your uh blue nile orders in now if you're going to get some jewelry

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here um which by default makes me a peccate. And I work in sports. I'm a very educated sports fan. I don't watch a ton of NFL, but I cheer for the Packers. But it's not going to ruin my day if they lose, which you can't really say for a lot of people here. But on the other hand, my dad is from the Boston area. And so I've spent a lot of time on the East Coast and in Massachusetts, and my family is Boston sports fans. And so when people ask me who my NFL team is, I have to say out loud that I'm a Packers fan and a Patriots fan, which has to make me the biggest asshole on the planet, right? Like I'm self-aware and I know it, but it's still bad.

And so my question is, is there a more insufferable combination of teams that one single human can cheer for like by birth? I mean, the Pentacles. The Yankees Patriots. The fact that you think

the Packers make you even... On that level. I am disgusted. In football, there's many other teams. The Packers make you even. On that level. On that level. I am disgusted. Yeah, I mean, in football, there's many other teams. The Packers are a fine football team. They're okay. Sure.

They're not bad. They might be the most overrated thing in the world. I mean, the motherfucker has the same amount of NFC championships as Tom Brady. He played in one fucking season. It is crazy that people think Tom Brady. He played in one fucking season. It is crazy that people think Tom Brady had to go to you because as Coley said, Aaron Rodgers didn't have the balls to show up to a fucking Super Bowl. So Tom Brady said,

fine, I'll bring the fight to you. We'll do it at Lambeau. That's who won. You might as well be a fucking LA Rams and Patriots fan. Who gives a shit? For real. I'm insulted by the audacity to put it on the same level even pose this question to me fucking who gives the Packers who cares about the Packers fucking bunch of jabronis the Packers I'm a Packers and a Patriots fan couldn't get more

insufferable yeah yeah you're a fucking winning team fan and a Patriots fan I mean like just go down the list of like I don't know the list of if you celebrated all those Steelers Super Bowls and the Patriots. If you celebrate crossing over sports, there's plenty more. Plenty worse. Let's say there's 30 teams in every major franchise give or take. There are

118 other teams that would be more insulting than to be a co-fan with. That was a good rant. Yeah. Packers! The Packers! Get the fuck out of here.

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What's up, KFC? Fight, Nick, Jackie, whoever else. I had a question. I was listening to Two Bears, One Cave the other day, and they were talking about original thoughts. And it reminded me, my original thought that I believe is one time my dog shit on the floor, and I cleaned it up, like really, really cleaned it, like cleaned the tile, cleaned the shit out of it, obviously. And it dawned on me that that was currently the cleanest place,

cleanest spot in my entire house. And so if there was a surface that I were going to eat food off of, that would be the logical choice. Yeah, that's funny. I thought that was original. So my question was, what do you guys, do you guys think you've ever had a truly original thought? I got an original thought. And so what is it?

Thanks, Steve. I got an original thought. Shout out to, what is it? Thanks, Steve. I got an original thought. Shout out to Burt Kreischer, Bruce Kirscher. When I get rich and I have my designed rooms, you know. Open floor plans. Open floor plans. I am going to have a Christmas room. Putting up and taking down Christmas decorations is no more.

I have a Christmas room. It's decked the fuck out. Decked the goddamn halls. Fake tree, icicles, lights, stockings, the whole nine. And when Thanksgiving rolls around, I unlock that door. And we just now have that room

as part of the house. And when January 1st or whatever your cutoff is i just close that door you are gonna have one of the worst houses in the world every idea you have for a functional house ever your last my house is gonna be a whole goddamn room that you don't use well i you know i'm gonna have to be rich obviously we got rooms to spare and it'll just be like a little sun porch or an extension or whatever. I'm not going to put... You know what it is?

John, you don't put up decorations. Kevin. You don't do this. What do you mean? You don't put up trees and shit. Have you ever done that? Yes, I have. When?

Like five years ago. Seven years ago. The pain of putting up the fucking lights and all that shit. I found it just absolutely delightful. Actually, I don't mind putting him up. Taking him down is a problem. Kevin, you're going to be wealthy beyond your wildest dreams, right? And what you do is you put the kitchen in the living room and then you just –

Yes! And then you seal off a wing of the house. Kevin, you could just pay people to take a man cave. Yeah, that's true. And just have that room accessible. Make it a man cave.

Make it an office. Okay, original thought. I have a Christmas decorating team. Not original, original thought. I have a Christmas decorating team. Not original, but better. I don't know. Let's go. A logical thought.

I thought many businesses have probably had already. I'm going to hire somebody to put things up. I'm going to hire someone to do things I don't want to do. How about this? I have a room I keep clean. Or I'll get a cleaning lady. That's a good idea. That's great. I want my kitchen living room and my

Christmas room. Fuck you guys. It's going to be a great fucking house. I have had 10 million original thoughts. I forget them all almost immediately. You've got to write them down. Let me see if I have anything in my notebook right now. I don't believe I do. John's notebook is just a house of horrors.

John opens the pages and he goes like, ah! Like Banshee's scream. That is your brain on paper. It's a howler. Ugh. Nice. Is this an original thought? Water displacement?

I don't know why I wrote it down, but I have it written down. It's just water displacement. No doubt you were looking at a boat and you were just like i don't fucking get this it is my thought of the day buoyancy water displacement yeah um you're ridiculous i also have flight simulator these are just words john these are just phrases and words they're not original thoughts oh i remember that one that one was one i was telling that story i don't know if i was telling what when I was telling it, but it was in high school. And we used to, we had this kid who lived above us. I might have told this before, but he loved flight simulator.

And he would do it all in real time. And you like fucked him. You hacked into his shit. You just killed him on like the 16th hour. Yeah, exactly. You told it. That was the meanest thing anyone's ever done. Yeah, it is.

That actually made me question you as a person. I'm down with disco. I remember that story being like, you know what? That's a bad person thing to do. Yeah.

That's a wrong thing to do to someone. I think all my original thoughts just aren't original thoughts. I have batting cages written down.

I don't know what that means. Batting cages. These are Charlie thoughts. These are the ramblings of a crazy man. Down with disco. I have't know what that means. Batting cages. These are Charlie thoughts. These are the ramblings of a crazy man. Down with disco. I have I fucked a polar bear written down. I don't know what that means. I fucked a polar bear.

I know what that means. That's from Anthony Mackie. Yeah. Dinosaur butthole. That was last episode. Are you done? I think so. My final thought is episode. Are you done? I think so. My final, my original thought is blood. We'll see you next episode later this week.

I've got some issues that nobody can see. And all of these emotions are pouring out of me I bring them to the life in you It's only like this is the soundtrack to my life The soundtrack to my life To my life To my life To my life To my life Uh-huh To my life Yeah To my life Uh-huh To my life

Yeah Uh-huh Yeah Uh-huh Getting along Yeah Yeah