KFC Radio - The Internet is Coming Full Circle

Episode Date: February 16, 2021

Subscribe, Rate, and Leave a Review! -We kick it off talking about the new Clubhouse show we're going to start called ASL (Tuesday night at 730) -KFC breaks down why Chris Harrison is finding himself in trouble -SPOILERS: We break down the season finale of Your Honor. Go to this time code to skip: (00:48:30) -We're going to start going live covering tv shows after they air. Tweet at us to let us know what shows you want us to cover. -KFC watched a ridiculous movie called Tentacles -We reveal the first tier to our #RaceTo100k -Top 5 Tuesday: Feelings -We go over the argument that was held in the office the other day, what's the most ideal way to consume porn? -Voicemails Let us know what you think on twitter: @KFCRadio @KFCBarstool @FeitsbarstoolYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Here's my order. I would give you a no-tongue kiss on the mouth would be number one. Okay. Number two, spit in my mouth would be number one. Okay. Number two, spit in my mouth. Number three, make out. We're going to have to do this. It's another edition of KFC Radio on the Barstool Sports Network. We're Zooming it today.

I think I'm really happy. As soon as you said, like, it's another edition, I had an immediate smile. I'll tell you why, John. It's the only thing that we're good at in life is this, you know? Yeah. So, you're right. You're right, you know? So so it's just like yeah uh this is our time to shine right you know like like a candle not like a sun or a big flame just like

a little flickering candle we're decent at it you know so let's let it rip we got a bunch of shit today i wrote it all down on a fucking envelope i'll tell you what this envelope is by the way it's all my tax shit which is because, you know, we all did taxes late this year, or at least I did. So I know you did. Did you do your taxes, John? I did mine on time. Yeah. And guess what?

So I owed the federal government money, but the standard clerk owed me money. And I have not asked for it yeah I think that's kind of just a direct deposit situation I think you I think you probably got it well no no no I need to no no I did not I I need to ask them um I need to send them my pay stubs which I haven't done and I'm probably not ever gonna to do. And that's basically it. The state of New York is going to get money from me because I'm not going to do it. It's astounding. Like, I looked at my online banking and I saw my cell phone bill.

And I was just like, I could submit that. I'm just not going to. I don't know why. Yo, you want to hear something crazy? Sure. That's why we're here. Do you know that Barstool Sports pays for your cable? No.

No. No. No one knew that. No one has any idea. I just learned this on Friday. Again, you have to submit it. You have to submit it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, I'm never going to do it, but it's so, so, so they'll pay for my phone and my cable. And they just keep this a secret conveniently, huh? Apparently. Yeah. Yeah. I'm literally never going to do it, but it is nice. God, we are so obnoxious, you know. Here's free money. No, thanks. Because I got to click some buttons and write some things. I've done it.

I've actually done it occasionally with my phone bill. It takes 15 seconds. It is so fast. Well, and the reason I brought it up is because I did my taxes in like July because my accountant, you know, he was all backed up. Shout out to Kenny. And like, so I get my W-2 and shit in the mail and I'm like, it's not time for taxes.

I just did taxes a couple of months ago. And it's like, well, yeah, but now we're back on track. It ain't Corona anymore, brother. And I'm like, oh, fuck, which wouldn't be that big of a deal except I owe money every fucking year. And every fucking like, oh, fuck, which wouldn't be that big of a deal, except I owe money every fucking year. And every fucking year I say to someone, I say to my accountant, I say to the

finance people, I'm like, make this stop. Just take out the right amount. I don't know why I owe, just pay the right amount of taxes on my fucking paycheck. And they never do. And so I always owe money. And so now it's like uh well i wasn't planning on having to pay fucking thousands of dollars anytime soon god hell yeah let's have a tuesday boys why not let's let it fucking rip so i got i got all of our topics to write down here uh i am excited to announce that we are trying to keep this reality tv show train rolling after the success of surviving barge school people have been saying what's next season two a new show what's happening now i have

plans and aspirations to do another you know know, hopefully another season of Survivor. I want to do a whole new original type of show. But in the meantime, to A, keep the train rolling, keep that momentum up, and B, get involved in the newest platform, we are going to do a little clubhouse action tonight. So tonight, 7 p.mpm we're on Clubhouse. Now some of you aren't on there yet. Clubhouse is weird because it's blowing up but it's still very much in it's like beta form

where like very few people in general are still on here. You got to get invited so if you know a friend that's on there try to get invited. Tonight what we're doing I have like 8 passes by the way so if someone wants to tweet at me I probably won't. I was going to say, you shouldn't have said that.

You should not have put that out in the universe. I literally probably won't give it to you, but tweet at me and ask me. Well, you know what? No, hold on to it because I think we're going to need to invite some of our contestants sometimes. So what we're doing is a little game show we like to call ASL, Age, Sex, Location. Because if you haven't noticed, Clubhouse is a chat room. It's a big old fat AOL chat room.

And instead of typing, you're just talking into your phone. The world and the internet has come full circle. And we are back in the chat room, just chatting it up with strangers. So what we're doing for ASL, I got three guys and three girls and we, and it's going to be me, Fights and that magnificent bitch, Kelly Keegs. And we're going to host ourselves. It's going to be like a dating app slash newlywed love connection, dating show, game show type of thing. We're asking questions and trying to match make and then part, you know, just audio podcasts, audio entertainment where we're going to be, you know, making fun of them and discussing sex and relationships and

dating and blind dates and all this shit. So I've got three guys, three girls that are, the girls are sexy, the guys seem charismatic. I went ahead and I got my casting director on. I found some people in the DMs. I was astounded, by the way, John. We kind of kicked around this idea. So let me tell you what happened. I went on Clubhouse.

I went on this, I went into this room called Shoot Your Shot with these NYU kids. tell you what happened i went on clubhouse i went on this this i went into this room called shoot your shot with these nyu kids the youths john the youths are crazy they there was i mean must have been thousands of kids probably hundreds but it looked like thousands i was just scrolling and it was the room was fucking full and what these kids were doing they were shooting their shot at their crush publicly so they there was a few moderators and they'd be like okay john like the floor is yours and you'd be like what's up i'm john like i live on you know i live in this dorm like here's my major i just they kind of like bullshit for a

minute and then he's like so um you know like jessica like i'm shooting my shot and she'd pop on her mic would go live and she'd be like oh oh my God, no way, I can't believe it. I was like, this is crazy. Like so nerve wracking. So awesome. Yeah, it was very cool. It was like, I wish, I guess, you know, because it's not. I would never do it in a million years, just so we're clear.

Right. Very awesome. I wish I, I wish I would, you know. You always have that confidence. There's no video. You know, you're not face-to-face. Maybe it makes it a little bit easier. But, yeah, they were just truly shooting the shot.

There was one girl, too. She came on, and she was like, hi, I'm at NYU Dentistry School, and, like, I've almost got my master's. And, like, if you guys need a free cleaning or any work done, you know, you can do the, the, the, the, and then like one of the guys, like moderators hopped in and was like, bitch, you're going back to the audience. No one cares about your teeth. We're here to shoot our shot. And I, and I love to have a teeth.

And that was the moment, John, I left the room because I was like, I'm so old that i was like uh excuse me uh yes i i could probably use uh some some touching up on my veneers how did i have to put teeth cleaning hell yeah we're washed we are washed but i saw the how many people were in it and the buzz that it was getting and i was like all right we gotta we gotta do some shit like this so that's where you know, we've always kind of wanted to do some sort of dating show bachelor type of thing. The problem is the problem is you got to worry about like freak shows. You know, we, we were to do like a real bachelor and match like a girl with a stoolie.

And then he turns out to be a fucking psychopath. Well, then we're all on the hook for some dangerous shit. You know i mean no i think we're all we're washing our hands the whole thing immediately like this we are just here to chat in a chat room and then whatever happens after that is up to you crazy kids the girls who sent by the way weapons rockets absolute rockets there's mad very pretty girls maddie carlene which is a word i've never heard before a name like kathleen mixed with carly so there's maddie carlene and uh i want to say samantha um and i i was you know thoroughly impressed john like i said we were all excited for it it's um yeah samantha sam sam jean samantha je was like, okay, I can get that.

Beautiful, beautiful woman. Yeah. And so I, I tweeted this out over the weekend. I said, I need three guys, three girls, single, uh, who want to maybe do some, some content, some dating show content. And I was like, I was thinking I was going to have to call in some favors, call it, you know, talk to a girl that I know who's single. Hey, you want to like, help me out and try to grow this thing. Boy, did I underestimate how, how, how horny and desperate for attention some of our fans might be. Pandemic people want to have sex.

That I guess is very true. I flooded with DMS, a bunch of guys who seem to be like pretty charismatic and cool and funny and down. The girls look beautiful. So tonight, 7 p.m. on Clubhouse. If you're on, come join us. If you're not, try to get an invite, because I think we're going to try to do this every week. And then after tonight, tomorrow night is our monthly edition of KFC Radio Live. It'll be the Valentine's Day edition featuring the girls from Because We Got High. So me and Fights, along with Kelly, Rhea, and Brianna. And so we'll be able to recap everything that happened in age, sex, location.

And we'll take, you know, we'll do some voicemails. We'll do some questions. Actually, as you're listening to this, if you want to pose some questions to us and the girls, the idea is going to be kind of men are from Mars, women are from Venus sort of thing. Listen to the differences between us and the girls and age differences, sex differences, the whole nine. So we got a lot popping off this week.

I got a feeling, John, I feel like seeing the matrix right now. You know, like I was thinking, you know, originally we were talking about doing Clubhouse and we were like, let's just, you know, put open up Clubhouse when we do a podcast. And it's like, no, because that's fucking lazy and stupid. And that's not what people want. And I was like, all right, fuck it. Three guys, three girls. Let's do this. Let's do that.

And it like materialized so quickly. We've got a live show coming up. We've got a lot cooking. I'm ready to just fucking annihilate content this year. You are. If I could buy stock in anybody, I would buy stock in Kevin Clancy right now. Wow. That's a fucking that's that's I'm honored. No, no. I mean, it's easy. It's a no brainer stock buy. Because honestly, like the things we're doing, most of them are your ideas. That's not true.

No, it is true. Like most of the things we do are your idea. Well, that's the thing. I'm just always, I think I'm at a point where done this long enough where every, like I said, Clubhouse is coming full circle. Like the internet's coming full circle where I think if you just are around long enough, maybe it's some Malcolm Gladwell shit, 10,000 hours, whatever. I don't know. It's just like, I think when you've been around long enough, you've seen how things work. You're just kind of ready to strike at all times, you know, and also surviving Barstool. Surviving Barstool made me realize we can do anything like we we made a

fucking tv show john in like two weeks like we sat down we talked we didn't you did no but no but we didn't because because it was a wee thing because we talked it all started just trying to plan out a bit for our live show and it was like yeah let's do some survivor shit had a conversation with tommy me and you have a conversation mb gets in next thing you know we're doing after shows we're doing like the production team is making a full-scale show and we have like like that so i'm like fuck it yeah let's do this clubhouse thing and by next week we're probably gonna have a full-blown dating show and we'll do we'll do the live show with the girls and next thing you know we'll have like our own bachelor after show you know like the girls i mean it's just anything feels possible now because we've been around longer than anybody like we've lasted

longer than fucking anybody here on the internet by the way the um these guys i have not seen the fellas yet in this this live show that's coming tonight. Okay. And you are definitely describing them as fat girls. As what? Fat girls. No, no, no, no. They're charismatic.

No, you're right. But, no, I'll say this. Like, they are good looking. I have not, again, I haven't seen them. So I am not judging judging i'm not doing anything i'm just saying charismatic is not a way to describe a man well when i was talking to the girls i was like i wanted to ensure them that they're not like i think that almost is a good thing like i was like you know they're funny they've got a personality they've got a sense

of humor you're right it does sound like fat, fat girls. Yeah. But they are good looking. I think, I don't know. We'll find out. I'm I almost want like a train record too. You know, I want someone to be like, I just got out of a relationship and I don't know what I'm doing, but I'm here. Let's fucking go. We need the one, the one, the one train wreck because here's what i realized so you know we called it asl i called john said i got it we're gonna call it age sex location and to me and you and everyone our age asl has a spot in your heart in your soul

in down to your bones that is like you know, you say that, that's one of those, tell me how old you are without telling me how old you are. You know, those things? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You say ASL, and everybody knows what it means. And so if you don't know it, like I asked around, Rhea had no idea what that meant. But Rhea didn't know?

No idea. You know what she said? American Sign Language. Rhea had no idea what that meant, but Rhea didn't know. No, you know what she said? American sign language said, you know, she thought it was English as a second language type thing. Oh, my God. You got it. I mean, yeah, you got to remember, you know, Rhea's a pup. She's a baby. Now, Fran did know.

Fran knew, but she did not. She knew of it. It's not like she participated in it. She was like, I've heard you guys say it, and I know what it is. And Brianna didn't even answer Kelly's text because she was hungover from the night before. So it was very much like you see the progression of ages. Fran, the oldest, even though she's still a baby, she knew. Rhea didn't know.

Brianna couldn't even answer the question. I've been kicked out of multiple ASl chat rooms like a lot of them i'm for i i got kicked out one time for saying the word dyke uh i i i was a lesbian chairman i said what's up dykes but that's so clubhouse is this new hot shit with entrepreneurs and like fucking Silicon Valley tech guys and stuff. All you guys are doing is you're in your AOL chat rooms. OK, and maybe it's a little different because you're putting your name and your face to it. But if we were to if it were to be anonymous, you know, people will be doing on Clubhouse. They'd be pretending to be lesbians they'd be pretending to talk about eating pussy 100 that's what we do in

chat rooms that's literally all i did my entire life that's that's how i have to be who i am i had some dark thoughts about that like how often do you think we always joke? I was probably talking to you when you were talking to me. How often were we talking to another 13 year old boy pretending to be, by the way, we always pretended to still be underage. We're like, I'm a 16 year old female. Like never once did we try to be adults. You know what I mean? Not me. I was, I was hitting 18. You were hitting 18. I would still say, I would still say a child. I don't know why, so that's one thing but how often do you think you were talking to a predator

you think that happened a lot or a couple times or like i don't think that often i think there were so many guys like kids yeah okay but you say that now you're right. So where did the predators go? The places where there are so many children. So you're, you're right. You're a hundred percent right. But I think that they were just, the numbers,

there are too many kids, too many kids pretending to be adults. But do you think it ever happened? You think once you were talking to a guy? Like, have you ever, did you ever? I've sexed with a grown man before, for sure. Did you ever, ever like, I'm assuming you never actually met up with anybody, but did you ever like talk about doing so?

Or did you always just keep it like the chat? No, i think we were just always talking about boobs yeah which i think is the time that you weren't talking to a predator because i if anybody out here was ever you know asling in an aol chat room and someone was like hey meet me you know at the movie theater in town that was probably a predator. Oh, yes. Anybody who took it to that level, they were trying to fuck you. I just talked about boobs. Literally, I was like,

tell me about your nipples. Oh, man, I wish. We talked about if you can see your sexts in the light of day the next morning, like the Jared Porters, how fucking absolutely cringeworthy they were. Imagine getting your AOL chat room transcripts. No,

no, no. That might be the ultimate. That's a great addition to a ATI. You know, it's like, would you rather your, your internet search history go viral or your sex tape go viral.

I think we need to replace that with your AOL 14 year old boy in the lesbian chat room. Transcripts go viral. I actually, I think I would be into that. I think that would be funny. That would be hilarious. 12 year old me, my sex team. That's just fun. I'm sure I remember if I said like I mean I just don't think I at that point I hadn't even kissed a girl

so like was I talking about fucking was I talking about like going down on girls was I or just was I talking about boobs nope I was talking about I did a lot of boob talk and then I talked about going down on bull dykes

you say going down I don't know there was definitely like some kind of going down eating out something like that yeah because you know what I remember Alanis Morissette when she said would she go down on you in a theater? I didn't know what that meant.

And I remember, like, I was going to say I Googled it. I probably didn't. I probably had to ask around the playground or something. But that was the first time I heard about going down. I just didn't even understand what it meant. Like, oh, yeah, you put your head down there. You got to fucking get all up in that. So, yeah, listen, Clubhouse can you can fucking say what you want it's the new hot shit you're you know on

the cutting edge of technology it's fucking chat room it's an aol chat room and we will everything cyclical right like yes thing is going back and forth it is literally just a chat room and that's what i mean that's why i feel like we are seeing the matrix where it's like, you know, a lot of other places come and go. Websites go under, like, you know, a guy like Sports by Brooks. Like, you know, at one point he was big. He disappeared. What would Tyler Durden do?

Don't know where that guy is. Delisted. Oh, I know where he is. JL? No. No, he's just on Twitter. Oh, yeah. He's just hanging out?

Okay. Yeah. I mean, some people uh just couldn't keep it moving perez hilton you know he he i don't know what he's doing um but we've like stood the test of time so we're kind of like ready to fucking bounce at at any moment and it's like oh by the way uh um i i i read that clay tra Travis's website's worth like $1 million or something. Now, remember. I know he pitched Whitlock on a $100 million Unix a month.

Wait, 100 million people a month? 100 million Unix? Yeah. Not true. Well, that was a guy who I believe said to Dave, like, you know, I bet you in like five years I'll be worth like $100 million. Remember that one? Yep.

Oh, yeah. You know, here's the thing. Dave is worth that. And it sounds like you're not. That's a tough one to swallow. That one hurts. There's 100 million uniques a month, he said. That's like Pornhub numbers, bro.

I don't think anybody in entertainment can achieve that number. That's insanity. That's like a fourth of the country. I never thought about it like that. Yeah, 326 million Americans? Yeah, something like that. It's crazy. That is. That is.

That is. So we've been around long enough that we're ready to fucking rip. So we'll keep the game show rolling. We'll keep the reality rolling. So tonight, 7 p.m. on Clubhouse. If you're on it, join us. If you're not, you got plenty of time right now to go try to get an invite and join us for what should be an absolute shit show.

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If you or someone you know has a gambling problem, call 1-800-GAMBLER. So let's talk TV. Let's talk Chris Harrison first because that's a little bit of news as well before we get into just some of the the tv we've been watching chris harrison i'll break it down for your fights because i know you're not quite up on the bachelor world and i know a lot of our fans probably aren't but it transcends it's it's kind of more into the cancel culture and just more of a commentary on society than anything one of the girls on the show this year, her name is Rachel Kirkconnell.

Also of note, The Bachelor is black. The first guy, male, black, bachelor. Matt James? Matt James, yeah, who's like hot in the streets, seems to be like a cool dude. I know he's like a friend of the program with Rhea and the girls and

Trent and them. It's got that extra element of like racially charged stuff because he's black. Now, this girl in 2018 went to a old South themed sorority party. It was an antebellum theme party on one of those plantation houses. They dress up like debutantes. You know, not great. Just didn't do anything bad, but it's just like there were slaves on this. You know, this is a plantation that was a place for slaves.

And obviously Old South has a lot of connotations. I believe there was other – like she dressed up as a Native American once for Halloween. And I guess some people on TikTok were just saying that her friends are racist people. A lot of kind of like pointing the fingers and he said, she said shit. Now, Chris Harrison was like bizarrely defending her. He went on an interview on Extra with a different Rachel. Her name is Rachel Lindsay. She was the first black bachelorette. So she now works for Extra and was kind of like talking to Chris Harrison, kind of being like, you know, this allegation came out weeks ago.

We haven't heard from her. Like, not a good look. And Chris Harrison was just like, you know, the woke police out here is getting ridiculous. I would bet that 50 million people went to those sort of parties. And, you know, I think we need some grace while we like let her respond. And, you know, it's only a problem because we're looking at it through the lens of 2021 and right the other rachel was like well it was only 2018 bro like he's playing this card as if it was like 2009 and uh you know 2018 is like you're you're in the middle of the movement really you know it's in the middle of trump's presidency it's in the middle of Trump's presidency. It's in the middle of the Me Too movement. You have a lot of like Black Lives Matter going on. It's it's not you know, you can't play that card in 2018.

But anyway, Chris Harrison now is taking a leave of absence. He's going to miss their finale, which, you know, having dabbled in about five minutes of reality TV, if I didn't get to do the, the announcements of Tommy, I would have been so fucking mad. I would have been so upset. I mean, I know he's done a thousand of these, but you know, that's his, that's his big deal. And then the thing is they start recording or filming, whatever it's called, uh, for the bachelorette right away. So if he's going to be on an indefinite leave, I don't think he'll be a part of that season then or at least the beginning of it and that doesn't air until like the spring like no one's

going to give a fuck about this in like a couple weeks the fact that he's going to give up like a season of work for it i mean chris i know he's he's a friend of the program too like you got the best gig in america and you're one of the best at it? Just zip your lip. Let that girl fight her own fight. Don't, you know, coming in here talking about the politics of it all and cancel culture and woke police. Just hand out the roses and cast your checks, Chris Harrison. I don't, wait, I don't really get what is happening, so to speak.

Like so was it a theme party or was she just at a plantation? I think it looked like a big sorority party, like every every girl was in like a big debutante Southern Belle dress. If I had to guess, it was probably like a sorority fraternity formal of some sort. I don't know what when they say antebellum i don't know you know really what that means that's a word i i don't know um so i'm agreeing yeah yeah i i think you know these are all things that like like that girl's i don't think that girl's a racist bigot i think that she you know did some southern shit and a lot of that is rooted in like you know some bad stuff but like as as someone who went to school in the south

yeah and i'm so happy you used the year 2009 because that was the exact year this happened yeah i was at a like um at party. It wasn't a theme party. It was, like, my grandmother's sister's birthday or whatever. And we were just at a party on a plantation. And I was just like, this is fucked up. I was going to say, I've never encountered this at all. I don't leave New York. I've never been to any of these places and I was trying to think if I like rolled up on

some massive Victorian home uh in like Virginia or some shit where there's like tobacco fields or something or deep in like the cotton fields if I would be like you know this doesn't sit right or or it was weird yeah right right and again it wasn't a themed party. It was just an event. But it was just like, this is fucking... Right. So if dumbass, young, partying John Henry can feel that in 09... Right. I was a college junior, I think.

And I was just like, this doesn't feel right. This is a little awkward. And that doesn't mean... Again, I don't think that girl's as far as I was just like, this doesn't feel right. This is a little awkward. And that doesn't mean, again, I don't think that girl's like, as far as I know, I don't know anything about her. Maybe she is racist. But that, I don't think, makes you racist. But I think, like, okay, that comes out. I think that that girl needs to issue an apology. I think it took her a while.

In that interview, I think the other Rachel was like, it's been six weeks, which is kind of weird. People are, like, calling you a racist for six weeks and you haven't, like, spoken up one way or the other Rachel was like, it's been six weeks, which is kind of weird. People like calling you a racist for six weeks and you haven't spoken up one way or the other. But I think, you know, you put out the apology that everyone puts out, like I was ignorant and that doesn't excuse it. And I'm going to have to be, you know, make changes going forward. And I'm sorry to everyone that I upset. But Chris Harrison, this girl must win or something. He must know that she's going to be like the girl at the end because he was like staunchly defending her being like, she's a good girl. We need to like give her some time and some,

some space because he must be thinking like, fuck, we got like, you know, six more weeks of, of the show. And then she's going to win and the whole thing is going to be botched. Cause it was, it was like 15 minutes of him just being like, what's the big deal. Shut up. Well, police was like, Whoa, for a dude who's like, you know, him and like Seacrest and those guys are always like on the ball. I mean, man, if he fucks that gig up,

that is some shit where you just got to like put a bullet in your head oh my god yeah just shut up like you have one of the best gigs in the entire world just shut up and say like you know that that's one of those things where like i would never ever be like have i would never have beliefs i would just be like whatever people say is right. Especially, you know, like, I don't know. I go back and forth with the idea of like, you have a platform and you should use it. We kind of encountered that in like a fractional way when people were like, you know, no one at Barstool has spoken out about George Floyd.

And I felt like compelled to do a podcast or write a blog, but like, Chris Harrison's here to churn out the guiltiest of pleasures. You know, we want to watch people like, you know, fuck inside a windmill and we want to watch them like cry and get drunk and make asses of themselves while they pretend to fall in love

in a matter of two weeks. I don't need to be hearing from any of them about the state of, you know, racism in America and, you know, the social problems with cancel culture. It's like, Chris, give out the roses and shut the fuck up. I mean, that guy, we did the math the other day. Wasn't it like, wasn't he making like $10 million per show? And he does like three of them per year.

It's like months. He does what? No, it's not that much, but it was like, cause he does bachelor, bachelorette and bachelor in paradise every year. So he's like constantly.

And then I think he does millionaire and all this shit. So I think he makes a lot of fucking money for what I'm sure is, you know, I don't like to say it's an easy job. Cause like I said, it's around the, around the clock. Like he's always't like to say it's an easy job because like i said it's around the around the clock like he's always doing it but it's it's as cushy of an entertainment job as you can get do not botch that one same thing with gina carano like just shut the fuck up and cash the star wars

checks man like you went from disney plus to making movies with Ben Shapiro on his website. I can't imagine that was worth it. I can't imagine, you know, your your statements that you've made about being a Republican was worth giving up Mandalorian money. I don't think it's Republican. You're allowed to be a Republican. I don't think you could say that it was it was that being republican like being jewish during the holocaust yeah yeah that's different just so dumb so fucking dumb again i don't care where you fall on the issue like chris grace harrison was really trying to like talk about cancel culture and i know a lot of people agree with that but just shut the fuck up and

gina carano as like as as ignorant as that comparison was. And I think, I think she said a bunch of shit over the years, over the months, like as I read it, it was like they've been looking for a way to get rid of her because she won't shut the fuck up about this stuff. But okay. Let's just say, let's say she didn't use the Hitler, the Jewish Holocaust comparison. Let's just say she was talking about being a Republican in Hollywood. Like, shut the fuck up.

Just fight with the fucking lightsabers and play with the Yodas and make your money. And you can talk about that shit afterwards. It's crazy how much people jeopardize from the famous people down to like the regular people who we see get fired from like, you know, your nursing job. All because you have to speak. You have to say something, you know, people get fired. Yeah. There was, there was, there was some nurse during, you know,

during black lives matter who said something, she gets fired. There's some guy who works for, you know, a hedge fund who gets caught on camera, you know, cause he had to like speak out about being an anti-masker, whatever it is. You can be famous. You can be like a regular schmo. These people all like lose their jobs and lose their fucking lives to just for what you have to get your opinions off. It's crazy. Then the nurse and then we're thinking about different nurses. Was she the one who was like,

I go out and I don't wear a mask and I cough on people and stuff? Because that's a pretty fair firing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know if it was the one who was coughing on purpose. I think this was more of a racist one. All pieces of shit. Don't get me wrong. I'm not defending them.

I'm just saying the compulsion to be like, I'm going to put this on the fucking Internet right now. And then your job's like, OK, you're fired. And then they then they make a GoFundMe being like, I was unfairly this and that. That was that was the other day. The it was the best scam that's ever happened on Twitter. And it was the girl in the MAGA hat. What was that one? It was it was a black girl who had a MAGA hat. What was that one? It was a black girl

who had a MAGA hat, and then she just faked text messages from her mom being like, you're kicked out of the house, you're gone forever. And it was like $100,000. And it was just all fake. And then what? Does she get to keep that money?

I mean, can't knock the hustle, man. Great. One of the best scams of that money? I mean, can't knock the hustle, man. Great. One of the best scams of all time. That's how, that's how it worked. The fucking internet. That's that. You want to talk about seeing the matrix? That's not going to see in the matrix, dude.

I watched your honor was on shout out to Brian Cranston. He came on to promote that show, which I actually found wildly entertaining. I'll be right back. Yep. It got a little silly. It got a lot silly if you watched it. It's the story of a son who hits a kid with his car, kills him, turns out to be the son of a mob boss. And so now his father, who was Bryan Cranston, is a judge.

And he's got to try to hide the fact that his son killed this kid from the mob. Meanwhile, the other mobster son is on trial. He presides over that case. It's like this wacky mix-up of mob death and, you know, a dirty cop mixed with a dirty judge. So, I guess right now, I'll say spoiler alert. If you still got to watch the last episode or you want to watch at all, just stop. You know, fast forward a couple of minutes. But Adam Desiato fights. I'm ready to call it. He's the dumbest character in TV history.

He's the worst before. And because you've always been like a little bit ahead of me as far as the show goes. I don't think he's that bad. He's not great. He's not great, but I don't think he's that bad. So when he decides to start dating the sister of the kid that he murdered, when you forget at that. Not really. Also, Thea, by the way, is one of the more perplexing people I've ever seen in my entire life because she's

hot but she also looks like a man. Like he doesn't. I was about to also say, let's be careful because they at least are teenagers in the show, John. Well, she's pretty hot. Whatever you want to say the word is. She's got those eyebrows.

She looks exactly like her father. Yes. Somehow attractive. Yes. It looks exactly like her mom boss father in the show so he he's fucking his teacher he's dating the sister of the kid he murdered he uh constantly shows up to the trial for no no fucking reason. So spoiler alert here. In the final episode John.

He's at the. He goes to the trial. And he like has another panic attack. And he whips out his. Inhaler. And starts using it. And that's. And the mob boss sees it.

And knows that there was an inhaler. Found at the scene. So now he knows that Adam did it. And he invites Adam to come to the, to like their hotel to, you know, meet like his girlfriend's father, whatever. And then Kofi's brother shows up with a gun. Who's Kofi's brother? The fat kid with like the little fro oh right right right

so carlo gets off the kid with the best idea in the entire world by the way the the money laundering the church thing yeah what a genius 13 year old right that was his thing he was smart and good at math and he was going to be like a good part of the gang so kofofi, so Carlo gets off for the murder of Kofi, which. The whole trial, like, I don't know how he got off that. That was another thing that bothered me. So in the, the big moment is that Carlo said Kofi came in my jail cell, closed the door behind him. And that's when I was terrified for my life and needed to.

Are you terrified? Yeah. to uh terrified yeah he ended up he ended up saying like he was scared but listen so he says the door was closed and then he's like yeah um and then like we walked out and then the lawyer's like how would you walk out the door was closed it's prison like you would be locked in and it's like oh but it's like i don't know don't you think you're like as a a, as a TV viewer, I was kind of like the lawyer wouldn't have like gone over that part of the story that like you were locked in a jail cell, but you just happened to walk out like the big, like gotcha moment was.

The big reveal. Yeah. It was like, that was like the, what, where they had the case, but then, so after they reveal that he still gets off. And so Eugene, Kofi's brother shows up to the, to the case. But then, so after they reveal that, he still gets off. And so Eugene, Kofi's brother, shows up to the hotel, pulls out a gun, goes to shoot Carlo, and he just kind of moves out of the way, right in Adam Desiato's neck. Just bullet to the fucking neck. And Brian Cranston, this was another thing. So Jimmy so so so jimmy baxter calls up brian cranston he's like your son is at my hotel and i know he did it so like get fucking ready like i'm gonna kill your son so brian cranston runs outside he gets to his car to drive there there's a car like blocking his driveway and rather than just like driving over your front lawn or going through the,

like the hedges, he runs to the hotel. What? You know, you know, his jogging has been a part of the whole show. So he puts like his, his hood on like this. If you're watching on YouTube, he's got the hood all pulled up and he runs there and he's like sweating his dick off. And then he looks through the window and Adam gets shot in the neck. He runs into the hotel and he like holds Adam.

And then it just cuts to black and it shows. That really bothered me how much he wears those fucking running sneakers. Yes. On Chet Hayes, the most broken ankle of all time. All time. He just jams it in there. Here's an ultra boost for you. It was fucking

insane that's what so i guess i'm kind of happy that it came back to make sense a little bit bananas that he was always wearing like running sneakers and always jogging and like it was just so i mean the in the end episode 10 like the the his lawyer, girlfriend, the detective all put the pieces together and figure it out in a matter of like five minutes. They never go into in the second last episode. They introduced that Robin was cheating on him. They never bring that up again. Right. With the the black guy with the hat. Right. He had the hat on the bed. Yeah, I guess. Yeah.

Oh, I didn't even realize that. Yeah. All right. So they never like they never flesh that out. They also never flesh out that like Robin, why Robin got murdered because she was taking pictures of like the gangbangers. And they said, like, she might have known like all these loose ends. And then, pow, the kid just gets shot in his neck. And I got to say, I do hate.

That never comes up again. Never. The Robin cheating never comes up again. Never. The Robin cheating never comes up again. Like like like in that in that episode, they talk about it. There's one conversation where Brian Cranston says something like she did so much good in her life. One mistake doesn't mean she's a bad person. And she's saying that he's saying that to Adam. And I think it's supposed to be like, you know, you're not a bad person for killing that kid.

It was bad. same exact thing murder murder and cheating same like same same conversation it was i i did enjoy it it was one of those shows that like it went from uh i was like oh this is really good to being like okay this is more like entertainment than like solid television writing and creating for like three episodes and then it got but i always found it entertaining because i do like cranston there were flashes of what yeah he's the best and and there were flashes almost of breaking bad where he had to come up with like really creative ways poisoning the kid with the drugs and all that like things that were kind of heisenberg-esque and then then it then the ending just got so fucking silly um it was i loved probably the first three episodes and then after that it it got a little but i did like

having that the the the water thing that's basically the only thing he did like everything else was kind of um i thought there was some slick i can't even remember now so i guess it wasn't memorable but i thought there was some slick like he get get himself out of a jam sort of thing um it escapes me now but i thought he had a couple like resourceful moments where he was using like his his smarts and his like law the same way that that heisenberg used like like chemistry and science um but it's it was nice having a sunday night show though i did like that i did have something to look forward to it was a week-to-week show um and then i saw I was watching I was watching something on Hulu and I think I was watching Snowpiercer

on Hulu that's another show I like that's a Monday night show I've never had a Monday show in my life Mondays are like not a show you know it's not a show night it's a TNT thing it's a little bit like sci-fi you know have you seen the movie no no i've heard

great things but there's chris evans is in it the idea is like apocalyptic worlds everything's like 200 degrees below zero and so they have to live on a train and then within the train is like first class second class third class and there's a lot of like social order type things anyway uh i also see this preview for a blumhouse movie you know that like there's these series of blumhouse movies so i have not seen a good one yet i don't know why that guy what what was his claim to fame like like i think he did like the grudge and the ring and stuff like that back in the day huh is that a person or is that a product i i know the name oh yeah okay i mean I think it's like

Blumhouse Productions I just figured it was like I don't know Jimmy Blumhouse or some shit like that Jason Blum founded it I don't know whatever he got the green light on like all these he has like five Hulu movies out this one Tentacles John

it's insanely bad is it that bad well it's it was interesting you you will you will appreciate it as as i did the whole thing is kind of a is symbolic of when you are in a relationship where you're just fucking and you are like consumed by the sex and consumed by like you're in lust and you're infatuated and you start to like lose yourself and in this movie it's it's like physical like he he's being like poisoned by the girl. And then eventually it turns out like she has the scar down her chest. And eventually like she, like it all unravels. She, she's a bad guy in it. And these tentacles like burst out of her. Yes. But also it's funny. So like the whole time I kind of knew where it was going and I was like, this is so fucking dumb.

But it did have this interesting idea of like, you know, it is like. Symbolic of what can happen when you're like in lust. I didn't think it was going to manifest itself as like a literal monster. And then when it did, it was also bad CGI graphics. So it's so fucking bad. And it takes eventually, like the idea is that she takes on the form of like her victim.

So she becomes this guy. And the final line, I don't even know if I want to say it to you because I want you to like almost see it. The final words uttered in that show might be the worst line in movie history it's it's i almost wonder if i could pull it up real quick because it's all about how they're like obsessed with sex and he like runs into another uh another like one of the monsters

if you will i guess there's like more of them out there and they have this quick conversation and it is like what's the movie with um Robert Pattinson where the final scene is uh 9-11 for me yes this honestly might beat it from a, from a, a, um, from a dialogue point of view. Like, I mean, maybe having the, the, the nine 11, maybe being in the towers is like the worst visual, but this, this line it's, it's gotta be, it's gotta go down in history. I don't know if I'm going to be able to like, Hulu's got this, like, you know, is there anyone in this movie? Like, is there anyone in this movie no i don't know why i watched it i can't even i i i it was unfathomable that i even wasted like two hours

of my fucking night it was so fucking bad and i i i almost loved the whole thing obviously the whole fucking thing because they did do a good job of of uh it was good enough that i was like well i gotta see where this goes sort of that's what that's what all these blumhouse movies were i'm like this is a weird fucking premise and i'm not gonna be able to sleep if i don't know where the fuck we end up you know i've actually googled blumhouse and there actually are like they do good movies recently but they do fine movies how about that what what else do they have in there um okay so split get out oh oh oh those are this black klansman um the first purge uh halloween sweetheart bloodline upgrade glass i wonder like these are those are like um awesome movies in theaters

maybe like their blood like their their theater movies are legit. These ones that were on Hulu and on streaming were just so bad. Is this part of the six movies they were releasing where it's like they're all connected, so they're trying to like build the universe? It would very well be because I watched a couple of the other ones as well. I watched the one that was like, there's some black and white. You saw a movie and you hated it. And then you were like, I got to see more from these people.

You hit the nail on the head, John. You got it. You bet your spanky. It was. They did the one. This is actually a movie I do want to see. Freaky. The one with Vince Vaughn.

Yeah, there's a huge billboard for that near our office that I always see, right by that church. And I have not heard anything about it, though. Is that good? It's been out for a while. It looks entertaining. I'm sure it's terrible But it looked entertaining I was going to watch the drinking movie you love But it was subtitles And it was late And I was like I'm just going to watch this tentacle porn movie instead That movie

That movie is the type of movie Remember like last week I was talking about like oh I wanted to You see these movies and you want to live them in real life It's like I want to get a house with my boys And live here for the summer Now that's one, I want to get a house with my boys and live here for the summer. Now that's one where I really think about maybe we should do that.

I'm going to do it. I bought breathalyzers. But the problem is though, John, then you become an alcoholic. Well, no. It's actually the rules of this world. Okay, so I'll break down the movie real quick. The movie is called Another Round and it stars Mads Mikkelsen.

From Dark, by the way. Amazing. He's in Dark. He's one of the main characters in that show, Dark, that I love. Oh, is he? Yep. He's also – he's a star at Hannibal, the TV show. I've never seen it, but I've heard great things.

But basically what they do is they're all – it's like 40 45 40 to 50 year old men um and they all are incredibly depressed um which is terrifying one of the scarier things that i think about is like just stagnancy like they're they're all just very stagnant, and they just have nothing to do, and they employ the belief of a Norwegian philosopher who says that human beings were born with 0.05% blood alcohol level too low. So they all just decide to start drinking to 0.05%, but they only do it from when they wake up until 8 p.m. And then they stop. And they only drink during work hours. Not on the weekends or anything. So, yeah, it's not to party.

It's to, like, make your blood right. It makes sense. And guess what? They do great. Well, the movie. They do great for a period of time. And then they go awry right then they're like let's make it 0.08 let's make it 0.0 and then that's why i said you become an alcoholic

it's like yeah we should uh we should just do a little bit of heroin every day it'll be fine it'll feel great wait let me see i think i got to the i think i got to the scene. Now, again, you'll have to really watch the first one hour and 21 minutes of horrific television to truly appreciate this. But again, this is another monster who has found him, and he's like, how did you find

me? And then this is the final. This is like the profound ending. You know the stories stories put the pieces together is there anything more calming than the ocean yes and what's that okay what that's it that's the end of the movie

fucking is not nearly as calming as the ocean is there anything more calming than the ocean fucking fade to black i was like this is and, the, the, the reason he says that is because he's a sex crazed fucking monster. But I, I mean, rare, very rarely will I have like, I mean, it actually kind of happened with your honor when you fucking got shot in the neck, but when the very end of something hits and you're just like, Oh my fucking God. Oh my fucking God. Oh, what have I wasted my entire night on? What am I doing here? Fucking.

I mean, I appreciate that someone wrote that down and was like, fucking nailed it. Fucking nailed it. Like this is a profound commentary on sex. Let's fucking go. Oh, uh,

that tentacles, your honor. Uh, anything else that you, that, that we need to be, to be on. Oh,

by the way way if there is shows we're talking about doing again internet comes full circle we used to do our show uh binge and watch lists and all that um we'll you know we had a lot of success with the surviving barstool after show and so if there's a show that people want us to do uh we'll do it we were kicking around the idea of doing some old school shows uh i think we should do sex in the city you want to do it okay yeah we so so girls guys who are secure in yourselves if you want to ride with us i think we've never seen it i've seen episodes i've never i didn't watch it pieces here and there but yeah.

I've watched it, you know, a couple of times with like some girlfriends here. I never watched it alone. That was, that was when I was still like, that shit's fucking gay. You know, like there were those shows that at that point I was like watching, you know, NBA on TNT every single night I possibly could, you know, back when I was like sports and chicks and everything else was gay and lame. So I'll go back and watch that again. I think that'll be fun.

I think that'll be very interesting. And I think that we are going to learn a lot. Oh yeah? You think it's going to be educational? I do. I do believe it's going to be educational. In what regard? I don't know.

I don't know either. So we can also, we'll take requests as well. If you want to let us know what shows, every time we reach a new milestone on our YouTubes, maybe we can, if you want to, you know what we should do? How about this? Every time we hit like a new milestone on our YouTube, maybe we'll do like a movie commentary, like a one-off where we'll watch an absolutely abominable movie and, and we'll we'll do some visual shit. We'll make a good video, whatever. We'll we'll, we'll do some content around that. Along with all the other weird requests you fuckers gave us.

Everybody just wants us to bang, John. Yeah, no, I saw that. I saw a lot of kissing. A lot of mouth spitting. I'd rather spit in your mouth or you spit in my mouth than kiss you. What's that? I'd rather do spit in mouths than kiss you. Yes, I agree with that.

Because if I kiss you, I feel your fucking hair. Oh, I'm not worried about that. I'm worried about feeling your tongue. Oh, no, I got a nice tongue. You're good. Well, I'm sure you do. I don't want it in my mouth, okay? Here's my order.

I would give you a no-tongue kiss on the mouth would be number one. Okay. Number two, spit in my mouth. Number three, make out. We're going to have to do this. Well, so this is how sick and how desperately embarrassing this YouTube situation is. And I think this is affecting me more than anybody because I went on like a Twitter storm about it. I do find it fascinating.

And I also find it mortifying. I find it fascinating that there's like a YouTube. There are people who use YouTube and there are people who not. We've talked about it. I do find it fascinating. And I also find it mortifying. I find it fascinating that there's like a YouTube, there are people who use YouTube and there are people who not, we've talked about it on the show. I don't want to beat it to death, but the amount of stoolies who are reacting to me being like, oh yeah, I only search for videos. I don't ever subscribe to anything. And it's like, okay, I take a little bit of solace knowing that it's just a demographic thing and not necessarily that we suck at this um i'm the same way i i i'm subscribed i'm not subscribed to our own channel kevin i know it's hard for me to ever like complain because it's like i i'm just

as hypocritical i i don't i don't subscribe to anything either well i would subscribe to it i'm just not allowed to well that's the other thing, too. We got our strikes and they won't let us out. It's kind of like, you know, submitting expenses. It's not going to happen. It's not going to do it.

But it's mortifying being like, how many for 10,000 more subscribers? Like other people are fucking ripping through them. And we're over here. People are being like, like well I'll subscribe

if you guys suck each other's dicks god damn it how low do we have to stoop to get some fucking subscribers on this god damn channel fucking bullshit but yeah I think somehow eventually we're going to have to spin each other's mouths god damn it

alright so let us know dvr content coming your way um okay so yeah we'll be doing we're doing a lot more like visual content um along with our live shows uh maybe we're gonna start i was thinking nick what do you think about doing the shows just live on youtube uh what the whole podcast or the after shows to the video no the whole podcast like we don't we don't really edit anyway it's like you might as well uh like get people let people get like an inside watch when we record it live and start building the channel that way but either way

we'll be doing more content on the youtube right now we're at like 40 something thousand subscribers and when we hit 50 um johnny boy is gonna. Some people requested that. It's going to be the worst episode ever, but yeah, I'm going to do it. It's not. It won't be. First of all, you're better at it than you realize. Second of all, even if it is bad, that's what's funny. And also that means we're going to hear that goddamn brogue

so fucking often. It's another edition of KFC Radio. Every ad read is going to be in an Irish accent. Of course. I mean, that's, that's the fucking deal. And I can already hear, I can already like hear our clients being like, Oh yes, let's go. Give me the fucking Irish broke, uh, ad reads. So, uh, 50 K we'll switch it up and, uh, you know, let us know any other, any other milestones, every 10,000, you know, we'll do something for you fuckers as long as you subscribe.

So head over to the KFC Radio YouTube and the Kevin Clancy Show YouTube and the Barstool Confessions YouTube. Fights, you got the new show with Chapsy popping. Let's talk about it. It's brought to you by HelloFresh. John, Barstool Confessions and HelloFresh. That's talk about it. It's brought to you by HelloFresh. John, Barstool Confessions and HelloFresh. That's what you do. Go get that box, baby. I signed up recently. They also are getting down with One Minute Man. So I got to give a shout out to HelloFresh for supporting

everything that I'm doing. I signed up for the two, and I did the meat box. There it is. Hello. Hello. I actually forget what I got today, but let's figure it out. Oh, wow. We're doing an unboxing, a HelloFresh unboxing. Who's on your shirt there, by the way?

Is that a mugshot? It's a Bella. Oh, wow. That's an awesome shirt. Yeah. Yeah. It's a six-win shirt. Yeah. All right. What do we got john unboxing hello fresh uh chicken block burrito bowls oh wow pork carnitos tacos and um

szechuan pork and green bean stir fry um a lot of pork my girlfriend doesn't like pork so this is all for me okay it's so easy you just have like bags like okay you just cook everything in this bag i could not recommend this again i say it a million times i cannot recommend hello fresh more than i already do it is is the fucking best. Dude, this is, okay, so this is six meals here, right? Right. Yeah, six meals. And it costs $60.

Six meals, $60? Can I tell you what I did? I spent $60 at McDonald's last night, okay? Of course. Like shit, too. If you order Seam you know any of those things one time first of all it takes longer to get there than it does to cook and second of all it's more expensive than the week's worth it is an absolute no-brainer get hello fresh it's

fucking insane if you don't have it also the thing is it's like when you order i order from like the same spots i get the same meals this is like all of a sudden i'm eating carnitas pork and i'm doing you know uh burrito bowls and i'm doing all this sort of shit it's like i'm living it's funny that we we promote this Like, it's like, yo, have you heard about what they're doing on KC Radio? They do dinner, bro. They cook dinner, man. My dad learned about water. Like, I learned about cooking food.

It saves you money and it saves you time. It is. And it feels better. You feel like a real human. It's the real deal. And I know it sounds silly, but if you are like a young, if you're like a yuppie in the city, you know, you don't cook a lot. And then you realize when you do, it's pretty fucking good.

It tastes good. It's fulfilling. You save a lot of money. You don't feel like a scumbag. There's something very, you know, adult about it, where you just feel good about yourself. Everyone I've cooked this for is like, holy shit, you can cook like no i can't no yeah following instructions what you also you know you start to learn a little bit it's like all right now i'm sure you know you're not perfect but let's

say next time you had all those ingredients but you didn't have the recipes or you were missing a couple things i bet you could improvise you remember all right this much here, that much there. I like how you keep saying this because you're very wrong, but it is. I need HelloFresh. It has to be HelloFresh. I cannot cook alone. No, I can't. Go to HelloFresh.com. Let me get it right.

I always mess up the order. I get dyslexic on the call to action here. It's hellofresh.com slash 10 KFC. And then you use code 10 KFC for 10 free meals plus free shipping, which is nice because it's a big fat box with ice and all sorts of stuff. It's America's number one meal kit. And you can get 10 of those meals for free. When you go to hellofresh.com slash 10KFC. Use code 10KFC. Fights.

I saw, I mean, if there's ever been a clip to just rope a few people into the podcast, it's Chaps saying, when I say the word Sodom, what do you think of? Brother, the words weren't even out of his mouth, and you were like, anal sex. Which is wrong, by the way. Really it's just perverted sex so it's also I thought you were gonna say it's like not sexual at all so so it's the overarching umbrella of perverted sex we just kind of take it to mean butt sex yeah anything but a vagina interesting so when you technically when you sodomize someone that could be you know you perverted sex, we just kind of take it to mean butt sex. Yeah, anything but a vagina. Hmm, interesting. So when you, technically, when you sodomize

someone, that could be, you know, you could be fucking their mouth? You could fuck a face, yeah, for sure. Hmm. But so on this episode, we learned about, um, a lot, and I don't know if you've heard of him a lot, but it is,

it's basically the prequel, the precursor to Sodom and Gomorrah. Okay. Kevin, it is crazy. Sodom and Gomorrah was just like two cities that like, you know, they just like fucked and burned it to the ground or some shit. Yep. And I'm going to tell you all about it right now. It's quick it's very quick but so these two guys get to a town which is sodom right and everyone in the town

every man in the town is like we gotta fuck that guy we gotta fuck those guys that guy so we're doing gay sex yep yep they're like we gotta fuck those. So these are sinners. We just have to fuck them, right? And then the hospitality was such a big thing back in the day, right? It's why they make it such a big deal about how

Mary and Joseph were turned away from the inn, right? And so they were welcomed into this guy's home a lot. And the entire town boys men everyone everybody around the house and they're like we need to fuck those guys right and then the guy lot walks outside and says guys i have a different idea what if you fuck my virgin daughters and they were like nah nah, not interested. We need to fuck those guys.

And then. By the by, this is Old Testament, correct? Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Big time old, right? And so, so he's like, he's like, no, you can't fuck them. Like, you just can't fuck these guys.

And they decide to storm the house. And as they're storming the house, the two guys in there, snap the fingers blind everybody because they're actually angels right and then so what they say is they say look we're they tell lot his wife and his two daughters they say we're gonna leave i'm sorry they say you can leave and we're gonna burn this town down we're gonna burn to the ground but you can never turn around and look at what we're doing here lot's wife turns around as they're leaving she's immediately turned to salt sure and then they they lot and his two daughters because the wife is gone lot and his two daughters go hide in a cave

for like ever i guess and the two daughters realize we're never going to see a man ever again we're never going to be able to have children we need to get dad drunk and then fuck them so we can get pregnant and both the daughters get their dad drunk and fuck them and get pregnant. That's in the Bible, dude. And these motherfuckers have the nerve to complain when, you know, like we want to use a condom or something like that, or we masturbate or some shit like fuck you. That that was in the Bible that first of all, they wanted to just gang rape two guys.

What's up with that? I mean, I guess, but that's, I guess this is all like they wanted to just gang rape two guys. What's up with that? I mean, I guess this is all like they're sinners, right? Like these are bad people. I guess, right? I mean, yeah. They're not good dudes. It is. It is a crazy story.

And it's actually awesome to hear Chaps tell it. Chaps is so fucking smart. What do you think? He's so smart but he was almost a priest which you got to be really fucking dumb to do that yeah i said that at one point i was like who can read this and be like this is something i want to dedicate my life to yeah and even okay like i'm not going to go as far and most people who really are into it acknowledge that like it's not real or it's not meant to be literal but if this is like the foundation or if you will for any of it how can you be like yeah this is yeah i'm gonna make my living my career my life about this story about people turning to salt and

getting butt fucked by their dad and stuff it's actually in um to to throw back to your honor uh fia makes a great point when she's talking about... Abraham and Isaac, I think. Huh? Abraham and Isaac, I think. Something like that, which is like,

you're going to kill your son, you're going to burn him on an effigy or whatever it is. And then it's like, just kidding. And that's the guy you're going to go to? That's a very good... That's a dude? It's all, you know,

it's all a fucking scam. It's all religion's dumb. We know that. And I love that you guys are going to be making fun of it. Like exposing it for what it is and having a good old laugh and learning some shit. Because it is a good story. As long as you don't

take it literally and hate gay people and all the bad things that come from religion it's a great story you can take a lot away from it and have a good combo you know that's the biggest one i've learned also we talked about tithing in this episode no reason um but uh if just just by chance if like a co-worker or two happen to go to a church and pay tithes and then turns out to be a cult. I don't know. Whatever. Yeah.

But the most interesting thing I've learned so far is that the word homosexual never appeared in the Bible until 1947. Right. It's like they just decided, like, we don't like this. Let's backdate this and put it in the Bible until 1947. Right. It's like they just decided, like, we don't like this, so let's backdate this and put it in the book retroactively. Exactly. I think we were saying the same thing about abortion. It's like, were they doing abortions back then? I don't even think they knew how to do any of that shit. They definitely did not know how to do it.

Yeah. I mean, give me a fucking break. Anybody who buys that stuff should get sodomized in any of their holes. Let's do top fives. Top five Tuesday. All right. Top five today. Top five.

This is perfect because today's top five is top five best feelings in the world. And it's brought to you by 3C. May have already been my pick. I may be exposing one of my picks right here, right now, because 3G is one of the best feelings in the whole goddamn world. It's because they have unlocked the secrets of Delta 8. Delta 8 THC is, it's magic. It's like, you know, when Elon Musk talks about all these like wacky things he's going to do, but he never delivers on them. 3C did it. 3C came up with some THC that will get you high and make you feel good and give you the euphoria, combine it with the CBD to get all the

medicinal benefits. But because it's Delta 8 and that's an extract of THC and not Delta nine, you're not going to get paranoid. You're not going to get sluggish. You're not going to get that weed hangover the next day. It's all the good, none of the bad. It seems too good to be true. If it's too good to be true, it's 3Chi. Go to 3chi.com. It's the number three C-H-I, and use the promo code KFC2021, because this year is the year of the chi, baby. Three chi is going to take over this planet Earth because it's legal. You can buy it right off the website. You don't have to meet a guy.

You don't have to do anything shady. You don't have to buy, you know, good or bad shitty swag. You can just get the real deal. I got the gummies i got gummies like all over my house where's my package the gummies are the gummies are dangerous because much like the gummies uh that that we take for fly shooting for our hair they taste good i eat a gummy and i'm like i want more like you can't do that you can only do one always enjoy it responsibly because it is in fact folks the real deal this is not like you know your cbd

only products where you can have a handful of them this is you know this is for the the the legit people only uh so use kfc 2021 at checkout you'll get five percent off your order it must be 21 or up i prefer the gummies but they also have the delta 8 vapes they've got the tinctures where you can just do the dropper straight into your mouth or cook it into your favorite edibles. But 3C is one of my best feelings in the world. So let's get into it. Top five best feelings in the world. It's inspired by our guys Joey Molinaro, Bob Fox, and our man Sulk.

The Sulk from Family Guy, Alex Sulkin. He's a friend of the program, a longtime writer for one of the longest-running, funniest cartoons ever, Family Guy. Those guys have been tweeting about top fives for the last few months. I believe they have plans for something bigger. I saw Joey tweet that there's a podcast in the works. I'm always texting with Sulk.

Our conversations are exclusively trying to come up with like, it all started when I did Is September the most universally loved song of all time? And so he's always hitting me with other choices or potential options. So he's always thinking, what are the most important pieces of content in the world? And so those guys are always doing top fives. So they did top five feelings, excluding sex the other day. I think we're just going to include it. So top five feelings, period, in general. I'll let you start us off, John. I start? Yeah. Okay. I'm going gonna go sneezing great one great one sneezing is give me give me a fake sneeze like sneeze how you would sneeze well you don't have to i mean are you really gonna be able to sneeze right now that'd be impressive no that would have been if you could sneeze on command

that's the best thing i've ever seen. Okay, so I like that. It's a good sneeze. Like, when I sneeze, I get obnoxious with it. I'm going to give you, this is how I sneeze. I go like, like, I will give you, I will yell on the way up. It will crescendo, and then I will smash you down to earth. I don't think one of the more masculine things you can do is have a good sneeze. These people, girls, you know, like you said, it's a masculine thing.

So when girls go like, I'm like, okay, it sounds like fucking Zelda when you're playing with link and he jumps. But when I see a guy do that, it's not even a masculine thing. I get worried for them. I feel like this is your body gearing up and trying to expel this out of your body. You're flexing your muscles. You're fucking convulsing. And when you try to hold it in, I feel like you're going to crack a rib or something. I feel like you're going,

you're going to like, your brain's going to explode. Your blood's going to come out of your ears and your eyeballs. You gotta, if I were to, if i were to hold it in i feel like my my nose would pop it's it doesn't make sense to me that these people i think it's also a very much a dad thing i think dads have a different level of sneeze and and maybe i'm a dad because i sneeze very very loud well think about it. No, because that happened to me. My dad, I guess I was always a power sneezer, but my dad sneezes eight times in a row every time he sneezes. And recently, eight, eight. I swear to God, John, one day you're going to see. One day

you're going to see. That's too many. Yes. And one day you're going to see on the news. In the Bronx, New York, Tim Clancy has been stabbed to death eight times and you're going to see on the news in the Bronx, New York, Tim Clancy has been stabbed to death eight times and it's going to be my mother. And she's going to say, yeah, I stabbed him one time for every sneeze because when he starts sneezing, she acts like he can control it, which to be honest, like you said, to be fair, eight seasons is almost too much. It's like you do have to control yourself. I don't know. You have to stop after five. You have to stop after four. I don't know,

dad, figure it out. But he goes to you get two sneezes. Well, I'm saying I agree. But if he's doing eight, I can't I can't hold him to two. If he's got eight and then you've got to get to at least four. He's got a lot to get out. And I'll tell you what, John, I became a dad. And all of a sudden. I'm pushing six. It's crazy. You sneeze six times? The other day, my kids started laughing their heads off at me. And Shay said to me, what's wrong with you, Dad? I said, I don't know, Shay. I don't fucking know.

Kevin, I'm going to say it again. You sneeze too many times. I do. And luckily, I do it at home usually. But God forbid we're ever in public. I remember one time I sneezed on the rundown. I still, to this day, I claim it's the only sneeze in rundown history. Nobody sneezes on the rundown. Nobody sneezes on the run. Maybe I feel like you may be a sneeze. Uh, I've definitely sneezed.

I feel like between when it's me, Dan and Dave, I don't think those guys have ever sneezed on the rundown, but if I, but it was like a one and done, if I sneeze like eight times on a show, or like, let's say we're live i sneeze like eight times on a show or like let's say we're live and i sneeze eight times it's scary are you driving it's bad news it's bad news but it does feel good it does feel good it's i mean it's the best feeling but driving is what what i've heard tale of like if you sneeze while driving you you drive like an eighth of a mile maybe something like that you would run a person over if you sneezed while driving i believe it i mean you lose you know you lose control of your body i think and it's one of those things right it's like physically

impossible to sneeze with your eyes open your body like automatically does so um but it you know and conversely if you lose a sneeze it's one of the least you know one of the worst things that can ever happen to you it's like you gotta look at the light you gotta sniff the pepper you gotta do whatever you gotta do to get that sneeze out because losing that is like that's the real blue balls you want to talk about you know myths like losing the sneeze is a blue ball. So that'll, that'll, that'll keep me up at night. And I've become very conscious of sneezing since our, our clubhouse, um, with the ATI question where if you sneezed and change sexes, I've become very conscious of like how I sneeze. I'm a, I'm a one-time sneeze.

I would be a woman for a long time if I did that. Now me, I'd dick, pussy, dick, pussy, dick, pussy. On the eighth time, I'd be back to my usual self. All right. My number one overall pick for best feeling. I mean, it's, you know, I don't want to be cliche, but I'm going to have to take it as, you know, just coming, coming. You say that John, but I'm going to have to take it as, you know, just coming. Coming. You say that, John, but, you know, you do it every day for a reason. I do it multiple

times a day. Yeah. So I'm not even going to say sex. Well, what do you think a better feeling is? Starting sex or finishing it? You know, like when you first put it in versus when you're done. Sometimes that first initial, like, okay, yeah, I remember why I do this.

I remember why I put up with you. I remember why we go through all that hell. Because this is pretty good. I think I'm going to go starting. I think it's better to start than it is to finish. Okay, so I'll give you that. I'm going to take... You want that as your pick? No. Okay. Alright. You can have both.

Alright, so I'll just take sex then. Okay. I am going to go... Give me sex slash coming, Nick, okay? Thank you. Wait, what did you say? I said give me sex slash coming. Well, that can be one and you. Wait, what did you say? I said give me sex slash coming. Well, that can be one and two. No, I want that as a

package. Okay. Just to, you know, because then we can get to the more interesting picks. You gotta pick that to get it off the board so that, yeah, we all like coming, you know what I mean? Um, I will go number two, I will go Cr two I will go

cracking your back see that's why I shouldn't have gone with the pick to just get it off the board because cracking my neck is like you know the best thing that happens to me well I mean cracking your neck is available no I'm not going to do that to you I'm not going to piggyback on you that's bullshit that's a great pick

I think I think it's a fair pick to take your neck. I mean, you're a neck guy. I am a neck guy. Oh, it feels so good to crack it. That zap, pal, right down your fucking spine. We'll see. I might take it, but again, I don't want to. We'll come up with something better.

That's a great fucking pick. I'm going to do it right now. See if I can get my back a little bit. Oh, yeah. It's just so good. I do it literally nonstop, and can get my back a little bit oh yeah it's just it's just so good i do it i do it literally non-stop and it's because i sit like this basically my entire life i sit the the way i bend my body for 90 of the day it's like a shrimp

you're just like curled i'm just like like, I'm, I'm at all times. Yep. Yep. Yeah. That, that is where I mean, posture, just horrific. Absolutely. I also, one of the worst things that's ever happened to me. Now that I got two of my, my, my vertebrae have been fused.

I lost a lot of my crack ability. Sucks, bro. Sucks. It's like, I used to have two vertebrae Fused is insane People don't give me enough credit John I should have killed myself a long time ago

I should have killed myself I used to be able to do the thing Where you lay down, you put your leg over your side And you kind of crack yourself You know what I'm talking of like this i'll show you i'm gonna go lay down for a second this is how i like this doing the zoom yeah yeah yeah yeah so you lay down you kind of put this leg over here ah yes yes yes like that it actually is better if you have someone like a trainer like push your arm and your but i used to just be able to do this and and i would crack it but now you

know titanium and shit i've explained it before but you know what they did right they they took cadaver bones they made a cage they took a they took the disc out they put a metal cage in there and they put a little piece of bone cadaver bone in the cage and then the the cadaver bone just grows like your bone is gross and like that eventually just becomes one big bone it's fascinating that's in your body it took somebody else's body i got someone else's bone and they put it in the cage and then like that bone just naturally grows with your bone i guess like it it sparks like your bones to grow so then it just have a dead person's bone in your body two people one up here one down there because i think the alternative what you know we should do you should meet the people

the parents of the people whose bones and do those like those like heartwarming things where it's like yeah you know your kid fucking died in a car accident. I got his bone in my. Let him check your heartbeat or whatever. I don't know. I'll get him one of those Build-A-Bears that has like their voice or some shit. You know what the alternative was, is they take your own bone out of your hip. They take a chunk like a like a melon scooper and take a fucking chunk of your bone out and put it in but that like obviously hurts and shit so they just took it from a dead guy it's like i'll take the dead the dead guy's bones thank you yeah man it's

crazy and i can't crack my back because um okay best feeling for me after sex um i will go with it's ironic because i don't ever do this that's why it becomes so like special to me uh getting into bed when it's like nicely made good sheets cool pillow tightly made uh you know, long after a long day. I'm in a dark room. I got my weighted blanket out like the whole nine just sliding underneath that. Oh, it is better than you know what? I'm almost mad at my number one pick because how many times do we say it's better than sex? It's better than sex. But man, that's better than sex. Things you as far as things you can do in a bed,'s sex but there's also just getting into it sleeping is way better oh well so i never i never had this for a long time i just never thought of this as wasn't a big thing for me it is unbelievable getting in like a clean

bed it is and that's why you know why we love it? Well, at least for me, like I never do. It's like, I never make my bed the other day, man. I let the fucking, the kids were sleeping in my bed and I let them eat Oreos and fucking lucky charms in there. And I got in, it was like, I was in a goddamn sandbox. I'm like, I wait, I got like oats sticking to my arms. I got Oreo crumbs in my feet. I was like, fuck this, man. So when you get in a fresh sheet, fresh bed, yes, please. Dude, I used to go months, years without washing my sheets.

Like, I would go, like, six months, and I would never, ever, ever wash my sheets. Now, I'm with you on the towel. I saw that debate this week. Yeah. Towels, you know, how often do you wash your towel for real i mean i i don't ever don't but does your girl do it for you but like when i lived in my old apartment when it was just me did you did you cycle in other ones or you legit just use one no i literally had one towel it was a blue ripped towel that I ripped in half. It was like,

that was my towel. That's the only towel I had. I had that one, and then I had a Pete Frady's polar plunge towel that just didn't dry at all. It was using a piece of paper to dry me off. It did not work.

And that's why you don't dry off. That's why you just fucking put your clothes on. That's probably why, yeah. I just get out and I just get dressed. But I have now become such a little bitch about, like, the moment the bed is even a little bit dirty. You're going to clean the whole thing? Now you're a bed diva. How could I possibly sleep in this filth?

All right, what do you got? All right, number three you got? All right. Number three. I mean, a good poop. Who doesn't love a good poop? Mm-hmm. Well, okay. Let me explain where I'm coming from on that one.

I don't enjoy it. Like, sometimes we get calls. It's like, what's better, coming or pooping? And, like, I think of, I don't, like, sit down, like, this is going to be great. No. I think I don't like sit down like this is going to be great. No, but but when it's like an emergency or like it's hurting or you got to go and you do go, it's more of a relief to me than like that felt good, if you will. But relief is is definitely definitely. I'm just saying that it's like it's not like something I elect to do. It's like I have to do it and I'm happy I can just do it and it's safe

and gone. It's not like I look forward to boot camp. I have to do it once a week. You are so fucked up, dude. It is. I think you've said it before where you're like, you're an alien. I genuinely think you're right.

I don't think I'm a regular human being. You are... You got a little bit of Bert Kreischer in you in the sense that I think you are one of the worst specimens and one of the best specimens all in one shot.

I think you're right. I think... It happened last week. If I just work out for a week, I'm just – Yeah, you got that Mickey Mantle gene in you. And you – I kind of think about this myself as well. I should be morbidly obese, and I'm not. So that I think actually means as far as you and I,

like our metabolism and like our body are actually our body are actually a pretty good body. Imagine if we treated it well. When I treated it well, when I wasn't drinking. You're great. No. It was oddly. Yeah. You looked good, though.

Yeah, I did. You had that cut shirt on. You looked sexy as fuck. I wanted I did. You had that cuts shirt on. You looked sexy as fuck. I wanted to spit in that mouth, you know? All right, my pick. I'm going to go with, this is one of my favorite things. It's been happening to me since I was a kid. My mom still continues this tradition to this day on Christmas,

so I'm going to get specific with it. It was always in my stocking. Putting on a fresh pair of socks. No. Soft socks. My mom, like, it was one of those things you almost make fun of, like, what did you get for Christmas? Like, socks?

But I'm like, fuck yeah, I got socks, brother. Once you hit, like, 27, socks. That's all I want. What do I want for Christmas? Socks. What do I want for my birthday? Socks. What do I want for Father's Day? Socks. Give me all those socks. And when they're fresh and cottony, I don't like those dress socks. I don't like

I'll wear like the no-show socks for style purposes, but like a normal-ass athletic Nike sock that's not too tight, but not loose and cottony soft. Oh, I could come in that sock. You know what?

I actually don't think I've ever come in a sock. Mm-mm. Yes, I have. I mean, I definitely have. But I have not made it like a regular thing. But, you know, when I'm in a jam, I've come in a sock. I've wiped cum with a sock. I've never come here. I've wiped cum with, name it, I've not made it like a regular thing, but you know, when I'm in a, when I'm in a jam, I've come in a sock. I've wiped come with a sock. I've never come here. I've wiped come with name it. I've wiped come, you know? Okay. Here's one. This is my number four. Yeah. It's going fast.

Telling Netflix. I'm still watching. That's like a little uh a little peaceful rebellion silent rebellion like yeah i am fuck you you know i control my life you hear me netflix i am still watching and also i do want to give them a shout out because i think they got shit for that for a long time they got they got roasted where people were like you know stop judging me netflix that kind of thing until you got hulu and then you realized it's a very necessary thing from three episodes gone because i fell asleep and it's still going yeah i will wake up with hulu three seasons later yeah i wish hulu would ask me are you still watching and you don't know where you updated to the point where they now say again later or um don't ask me again or something like

that and it is it's a very very necessary thing but it does feel good to be like yeah no i'm still watching it's like it really is there's some level of just a little control in my life like the one thing i finally fucking can do is is tell you um all right my pick man there's so many like i don't know if i can do like just uh five here um i will say um hot shower when you really need a good shower, whether you're like fucking filthy or cold. You come in from like skiing or being in the snow or whatever it may be. The perfect temperature when you're when you got an itchy asshole and you're freezing cold and you need a shower. You know? Yeah, that's right. I said it. Shout out Dane Cook. But when you, when you're,

when you're grimy and cold and you get that perfect shower, Oh, those showers, those are the type of showers I could stay in for like, I know you're a long shower guy, right? I'm not a long shower guy. I run the shower for a long time, but I'm not in it very long at all. Oh yeah. You're just hanging out like shitting and hanging on your phone and stuff. Yeah. I'm just chilling long shower guy. I run the shower for a long time, but I'm not in it very long at all. Oh, yeah? You're just hanging out, like, shitting and hanging on your phone and stuff? Yeah, I'm just chilling in the bathroom. I've been kind of hanging out in the shower, like, with my phone.

Just hanging out these days. You told me this the other day. You just lay on your phone in the shower? Like, I'll put on a podcast, and then I kind of, I have, like, a little thing, like, a little ledge that I can put it on. So I'm cleaning, and I'm listening to, like on a podcast and then I have a little ledge that I can put it on. So I'm cleaning and I'm listening to a podcast. And then they'll say something and I want to look it up. I just kind of dry my hands off and start looking it up.

I love that you become a podcast guy. It's good and it's bad. Because one, I do think I'm learning. I'll listen to something and I'll be like, that was annoying the way they did that. And it's like, oh, I do think I'm like learning, like I'll listen to something and I'll be like, I didn't, that was like annoying the way they did that. And it's like, oh, I do that sometimes. Like I gotta, like, it makes me cognizant of what it's like to be a listener. But also then I find myself being like, did you hear what this guy said? Did you hear what that guy said? Or I agree with them. And it's like, well, that's a take i would have said anyway on the podcast because i believe

in that as well but now that i heard him first i feel like i'm stealing it so like that kind of shit gets a little bit dicey that's exactly why i don't not all podcasts but particularly bar school podcasts like i do not want to like take someone's take yeah and i'm like if i just don't listen to it then i can't have taken their take but i i that's why i'll always be like i heard uh tim dillon say this i heard josh potter say this i heard uh joe rogan say this but then i feel kind of like a cuck where i'm like you know those are like my contemporaries and technically my competition and here i am like i heard them say this but i'd rather do that than like people know I listen to those guys and if I all of a sudden I'm saying the same thing then I look like a thief

I'd rather be like a cock than a thief you know but also to me I think of us as like huh I'd rather be a thief than a cock yeah different strokes different folks um i i was thinking this the other day i think that part of why we're like so successful is that we or uh maybe i'll speak for myself but i think you're in the same boat i and i do this with sports a lot like i don't like to interview the players because i just want to be a regular fan you know i don't want like access that regular fans don't have or i just want to be able to like speak the way that my listeners would relate to you know and so part of that is kind of being like i know that our listeners do listen to rogan and and other shows so i feel like i'm able to be more like relatable to our listeners and not rather than be like,

I, like I said, they're a contemporary or they're a competition. So I'm like not going to listen to them. I still think of it as just like, we're supposed to be like the average guy and that's, this is what the average guy does. They listen to these shows. The same way we talk about a TV show, you know, I would never be like, Oh, I can't talk about true detective because you know I do I do my own form of media or whatever you know what I mean does that make sense yeah yeah

but it's like yeah they listen we listen whatever but yeah I think that was a hard thing for a while when we like you know in the early days of our school where it was like when we were becoming friendly with athletes it was like you can't it's hard because you humanize people. And it's like, well, yeah, I don't want to fucking shit on this guy because he had a bad night. Like I had bad night all the fucking time. But that's why, yeah. I mean, that's where I don't like that. Cause it's like, you know what,

at least specifically with like sports in the Mets is like the, the thing that Mets fans are going to relate to is me being like this fucking bullpen sucks, you know? And when I like meet a couple of the guys, I can't do that anymore. You know, it ain't, it ain't going to work. So I'd rather like, I actually do genuinely like to keep the distance. It sounds easy to be, you know, it's like, I don't want to meet the famous people. It's like, well, you know, you don't have to worry about that bro they're not like they're not knocking down your door

but i do actually like it better that way um but yeah i'll pop the podcast on in the shower and you know because i'm also oh we got we got to do the the porn debate as well let's finish up top five because then we got to talk about how you watch porn your last pick? My number five is jaywalking. The best in the business. There's nothing. I wish this was my number one. Did you just say

you're the best jaywalker in the business? Because you're not. No, I would. Yeah, no. We could have a contest about it and see who dies first. But I think I am the best jaywalker there is. You are so, you are such a distant second to me. You can't even see me while I cross the street, bro.

I've been jaywalking in this goddamn city since I could fucking walk, okay? I am the greatest jaywalker alive. Look me in my fucking eyes. Greatest jaywalker on the planet Earth. I think you'd be hard-pressed to beat me.

I just do. Here's what you have. I have the skill. You have no fear of dying. And those are two. That's the unstoppable force versus the immovable object. I have, again, to use the phrase, I see the matrix. I know how fast that, I know that when you have the blinking hand,

you get 12 blinks and then five seconds of steady hand. I know the lights. I know the grid. I know who's going to stop and who's going to go. I can see it all. And I plan it out perfectly where that, that tire almost hits my toe. The, the, the, the box car of like the truck right by my nose. I got it down to a science. You, I think sometimes walk out

there with your eyes closed hoping you get hit by a car i have regularly like punched cars oh i could give it a little tap i could give it a i listen i almost turned it into a fucking instagram series i was jaywalking and there would be a car that would go by and people would think that was my jaywalk. And then a second car would come by that was like, like really close. And I had people replying to my DMs being like, dude, you have kids. Be careful. I wrote back. Shut up, pussy.

I'm fine. I know how to cross the street. Do you remember when Asa Akira said, so fuck any guy who can jaywalk? Yep. I was like, that was really part of, I was a jaywalker before that. And then I dedicated like my life to it after that. I was like, okay, if girls want to fuck jaywalkers, I will jay fucking walk, man. That's a great one.

Because again, also that's a little, a little like silent protest in this world, you know, like a little Ted Kaczynski. I'm not going to wait for the fucking light. I'm going to, you know, if I got to be somewhere, I'm going to fucking go. I'm going to do it. It is literally the most masculine, like I said, masculine twice now, but it is like my biggest, like, man, I'm just going to walk in front of you. Like who cares? Yep. I like that. All right. Last one for me. I had it in my mind and now it's slipping. I mean, again,

there's just, you know, you think about like, you know, the feeling that music can give you the feeling that like love can give you your family. I I'm, I'm, I'm thinking I got to go something food related, like, but it's kind of, you i don't know what would you say like the best bite of food you know i don't know no food food who cares about food um um i'm gonna go with nick can you read mine back to me real quick? You've got a sex slash coming,

getting into a mate bed, new socks and a hot shower. The strong ones. I was going to go, I was going to go towels out of the dryer, but guess what? My dryer is fucking broken and I haven't had hot towels for quite a long time. I am a big masseuse guy, massage guy. I could go with that. I like a good, like, oh, I might go with that. Like, uh, oh, like a head scratch, a girl scratching your head, a girl, a girl giving you that scalp massage or, or a girl giving you a little back rub. Um, that, that to me, yeah. Head scratch should have been my number one.

Truly, legitimately, I made sex my number one because that was, I don't know, that's what makes the world go round is fucking. I've said this before. You give me a girl who, like, treats me right, who's loyal and supportive and loving, and all she's got to do is scratch my head. And I am a happy fucking man. That's all I need, bro. Really?

I mean, if I had to pick between sex, I strongly disagree here on head scratch. I just don't want to be in touch. I know that's, yeah, that's why you don't want to come. You don't want to have sex.

I think that you might've been molested by that man in the woods. I think you, you, you have, you are so strangely averse to touch. Something's wrong. Do you ever worry about that? Oh, constantly. Yeah. I'm regularly worried about why I don't like being touched. Oh, can I, how about, I have a honorable mention for both of us here uh and maybe anyone in our business um like going viral for like the right reasons or like just a like yeah yeah like the like right getting getting the that dopamine rush from the you know seeing like when

we used to when i would wake up in the morning, Wednesday morning, check the latest episode of ATI and see that it had like several thousand, several hundred thousand views on YouTube. It's like, oh, the algorithm hit. Oh, the algorithm put the algorithm into my fucking veins. Let's go. But that's, that's us. That's our weird world where, although I guess most people, everyone can relate. They're probably just like, oh, when I get 10 likes on my photo. And for us, it's like, you know, when we get we get 10 000 but everybody can kind of relate to that right the 10 000 was a flex

i actually don't get 10 000 i i if i get 10 i'm that's where you start going what's that like we don't get it regularly but like that's when it yeah that's what let me see i mean uh my late my last picture yeah last picture was 8300 i don't get to 10 i don't get i hate when i see chicks you get fucking four million views don't talk to me one minute man but you are you are you are the million man i i stepped in it well and i'm not gonna give a fuck but people are talking about this chris harris I did the Chris Harrison video and everyone's like, you're so soft.

Like my take was Chris Harrison. She shut the fuck up and cash his checks. I'm not saying that, you know, like we should just like cancel culture is fine. Just cash your fucking money. That's not the soft. That's not that's that's the opposite of a soft take. That's the hardest fucking take in the world.

Just make your money and fuck everyone else. Fuck you guys. All right. We got voicemails? Oh, no. Okay, first, we'll get into our voicemails in a second. But first, this was a debate that we have to touch upon here on KFC Radio. It's brought to you by Revitalite.

Revitalite was founded by a couple of guys who were sick of wasting time going from the baby aisle back to shopping and the checkout. I got to be honest, that's a very specific complaint in life. It was a complaint of mine. Yeah. I mean, it's one for our demo for sure. It's like our demo is like, if you could ask them, like, what are the worst things about your life? On that list would be like, I can't get my hangover drink all in one shot. I have to go to a different aisle of the store to get it. And I get it. I understand it.

You feel weird in that aisle. Yeah, it's a strain. And you're wasting time. It's like everything else in this world gets delivered right to your door. Everything's customizable and on a schedule. And then here you are where you got to like go go to an aisle you don't ever go to. You're next to the moms and they're looking at you like, what the fuck are you doing here? You clearly don't have a kid. You're you're probably on some list somewhere. You're a weirdo. And it's like, no, I'm just hung over. So Revitalite comes along with the electrolyte

formula that's found in the baby aisle, in those baby hydrating drinks and in the pharmacies. And they put it with all the other drinks. In some cases, you can find them right there with the liquor. You get your vodka and you get your Revitalite as the mixer. It's sold primarily in liquor stores and convenience stores so that it's saving you that extra trip. So you don't need to run over to get the beer and then you got to hit CVS as well to get the Pedialyte. Nope, not anymore. You hit the liquor store to grab your vodka and it's like, what are we mixing it with tonight? Should we do soda? Should we do juice?

Nope. Grab the Revitalite and got everything everything you need to have a night have your cocktails and not get hung over the next morning so uh i recommend you you use it as your mixer because then you hydrate as you go and then yeah i mean and it's also good the flavors are good so it's like you can have a good cocktail and you're hydrating while you do it that's one of the um that's like a life hack that like, maybe it's real, maybe it's not, I don't know, but it feels it's a placebo effect where I'm like, I'm actually being healthy right now. I can feel it. I'm getting hydrated. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. This is, this is actually better for me. Uh, so, uh, you do use it as a mixer and then you drink, you drink half a bottle before you start your night. Drink half a bottle to end your night. Have one by your bedside the next morning. And honestly, it's almost impossible to be hung over after you got that much Revitalite in you. Go to drinkrevitalite.com. Revitalite is R-E-V-I-T-A-L, vital, light, L-Y-T-E,.com slash find, and you can find the most up-to-date info on where you can purchase Revitalite.

Hashtag hydrate responsibly and make sure that you fight back on those hangovers, especially if you're a 30-plus man and you're not John. The hangovers can cripple you. Patty, Patty, Patty Mac from Barstool Breakfast and Out and About tweeted this out. And he said, how do you watch your porn? It was a poll on the bird. It said, do you watch it on your phone? Do you watch it on your computer or do you stream to your television? And I know we've been talking.

It wasn't random, by the way. I was in the office that day. There was someone who said they streamed to their television. Now, when they said stream, does that mean like Chromecast? Like you have it on your computer and you're zapping it to your TV? Or is it like you search for it on your TV somehow? They weren't specific but i i took it to mean streaming meaning like you use it on your computer and then broadcast to your to your tv i added the porn hub widget on

my roku which is it takes many steps it's not easy i think it's because like they just don't want like porn all up on their roku it's not just like adding your other channels. You got to add it on the website and then update your system. And then the thing is, it has, you know, it's like when you're on your Roku, it's got a big fucking square right there. And as soon as I had some company over, I was like, I don't know if I can just have this out there. You know, I've seen it on yours. Yeah, probably. there, you know? I think I've seen it on yours. Yeah, probably. Well, you're not the type of company I'm worried about.

Yeah, I wasn't. I didn't think so. Yeah. But it's also, it's not quite ideal yet. Like, it's annoying to sit there like, up, down, up, down, like scrolling with your fucking remote. You know what I mean? Do you know who was the streamer? I don't know. do you know oh i know yeah i was there is it was it jack mac no okay because he's usually you know he eats the chips when he's pissing and all that shit

oops with spoiler alert from a couple episodes ago but who was the streamer um someone who works in tech. Tech guy, Andrew? No, maybe his boss though. Pete? No! I mean, it makes sense that he's, you know, like, cause he's, he's probably getting off from the fact that he like successfully streamed it to his television. He probably comes because it's like, oh, it's on my, like, it's in all, it's all my screens on the, in the house right now.

Oh, wow, I did it. Fucking creep. I think there's a generational divide, by the way. How so? I think that you answered computer, and I think a lot of the youngins were, like, horrified. Oh, you're 110 right. I thought you were talking TV versus laptop. No, yeah. I mean, yeah, TV is, we're 110 right. I thought you were talking TV versus laptop. No, yeah.

I mean, yeah, TV is, we're not there yet. Like I did it. Pete can do it. I added it the one time. Eventually, I think it will all be seamless. Right now, it's too many steps and it's a little too weird. But yeah, I'm a laptop. I'm both.

I'm an equal opportunity porn guy. If I'm crawling into bed at night, I got my phone, I'll do it there. If I'm, you know, like I said, if I'm in the shower, I'll pop open the phone. But when I am, when it's a set, I use you made me question myself. You gas lit me years ago on that. I think it's super normal to jerk off in the shower. It's just, I just don't like jerking off standing up.

Well, you know, you're a lazy fat piece of shit. What do you want me to say? You're right. I like being able to fucking break out the hair conditioner and blast off down the fucking pipes. Wait, you use that? Yes! You lube up with that? Yes!

Yes! Let me tell you something. I didn't know that part of it. I thought it was crazy enough to begin with. No, no, no. Hair conditioner. Phenomenal lube. Phenomenal. It looks like cum. It's like you're jerking off with the cum already. Who doesn't

want to jerk off a dick covered in cum? What are you, fucking gay? Of course you got to jerk off with cum on your dick. Yeah, you said that to me years ago, and I was like, is that? I don't know. Maybe I'm the weird one. I don't know. I think it's like there's a reason why there was that urban legend about so much cum in the showers.

Because I think people jerk off in the shower. No, you're right. I just don't want to jerk off standing up. I'd rather lay down. Okay, but let's say it's I mean, it's hard to separate the two things, but it's like you understand the

ease otherwise, right? The clean up and you're starting your day. No, no. I get it. Yeah. It's just... It's literally just the standing up. Standing up's hard, man. I don't like Yeah. Yeah. It's just, it's literally just a standing up. It's standing up hard, man. I don't, I don't like standing up for anything, let alone. Yeah, no, I agree with that. I, I, I'm like, if there's,

if it's between standing and sitting, I will always pick the sit. It is, there is a moment sometimes where you're kind of like, yeah, you got the hand on the wall and you're starting to like lean over. You're like, all of a sudden, you know what you are? You become a shrimp. All of a sudden, you're like standing there like, well, I'm done. OK, my position. But you said computer and people were like, what are you? The typical like, well, you're a sociopath. You're a psychopath. And I'm like, listen, I get it. Maybe some of you kids have your phones you know surgically into your hand these days but don't tell me that watching watching porn on my computer

is a sociopath thing that's still a pretty normal fucking thing guys it is literally the more sensible thing to do it is on on on the phone it is what three inches at best right right talking about the board on my dick uh both and then and then on the on the laptop you can fucking like i i think people who use phones just don't understand that you can fucking see thumbnails the entire time like you can just skip and you can see what yeah definitely it doesn't make any sense they even have they even have little fucking notifications they're like oh here's where the anal starts yes the little the little the little nod on the uh on the time scroll bar huge on the phone no i agree uh i also i don't know if this

happens to you when i open up when i hit my, oftentimes I'll get a pop-up in another tab on my phone, and it freezes the video. Yeah. You know what I'm talking about. So then you got to go to that thing where it shows the open tabs, and you got to X out of like Chatterbait or one of those, you know, freejasmin.com or one of those things. free jasmine.com or one of you know one of those things and then your video will start playing again um yeah i'm all about that man i'm gonna refresh like something like one yes yes bullshit dude so you think about it it's like when you uh would you watch like a a movie on your phone no you need like a little bit of a bigger screen to get the full effect. Come on.

Yeah, I only watch Tenet on my phone. That's it. Anything else? I, you know, again, I will use the phone, but, you know. Yeah, that's also, I should clarify, I regularly use my phone. I just prefer to use my computer. For sure. It's like an ease of use thing.

I just pulled up Pornh. For sure. It's like an ease of use thing. I just pulled up Pornhub right now. It's perfect. It's got most viewed in the United States, recommended for you. You know, it's like a whole easy thing. Also, there's this shot of this guy. John, this is preposterous. He's got his boxers on. He's got his dick not out through like the hole, through the bottom of one side of his boxer briefs.

He pulled the leg all the way up, turned his boxer shorts into boxer briefs, and his dick's coming out that way. That's preposterous. Can you send me a picture of that? I want to see what you're talking about. Can I do that? Can I send a picture on this somehow, Nick?

I mean, just take a picture with your phone. Oh, yeah, yeah. There you go. That's a picture with your phone. Oh, yeah, yeah. There you go. That's a good idea, John. It's just a silly move. I'll text it to you, but I'll also show it to you for all of our

YouTube viewers out there showing porn on the YouTube. You got our channel taken away. Probably going to have to blur it. Wait, Kevin, say something. Oh. I mean, that's a preposterous. See, I'm very happy I asked you to see it because I couldn't really picture

this. Yeah. This is, I thought it was just the dick. I didn't realize it was a blowjob. Yeah, I mean, and it's just, think about the pressure that's on your top of your dick from their tight box screws.

You know, these people sometimes. So bottom line, though, in the office was many people, mostly people on the phones. I mean, like, basically everyone is on the phone. Well, let me tell you something the real beaters phone ain't gonna cut it on the chest yep real beaters no the real ones it's it's again equal equal opportunity but if i have my pick when i'm you know when i'm getting sexy with myself for the night, it's computer or Roku.

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Here's the fucking real food. Here's the bread. Here's the, this is the, that, uh, I mean, everything in life, label it, know it, keep it clean, keep it neat. And it's one of those things it's, you know, they say like making your bed in the morning will make you happy or whatever. Bullshit. Having everything labeled in your life, though, knowing where everything is. Like the other day, I was looking for scissors. I couldn't find the scissors. I almost had a mental breakdown. I was like, I can't do anything right. I can't live. I'm a wreck. I'm not organized. I'm not mature. I'm not an adult. My kid needs

some scissors. I can't even find them. I was ready to just end it. If I had a label, I could have been like, oh, that's the scissor drawer. There it is. I would have been an accomplished drawer. Kevin, just a, just a, just a drawer with just one set of scissors in it. This scissor drawer. So go to Pete touch pro by brother.com. That's P the letter P touch pro by brother.com and tackle your toughest labeling jobs with the p touch pro label maker voicemails let's go fights bc nick jackie whoever

else is there um so i'm 23 now uh you know just graduated college me and all my friends were living in the city working working, all that. And the other day, went over to a buddy's house, right? Him and his wife. They had just bought a house. They're really excited about it. And they took us on a tour. A tour?

What the fuck is up with house tours? Okay, so we start. We walk into the living room. You know, we wait for everybody to get there. We're having a little dinner. Everybody gets there. We start saying, okay, this is the living room. We go downstairs for everybody to get there we're having a little dinner uh everybody gets there we start saying okay this is the living room we go downstairs oh this is the basement wow nice tv we go upstairs fucking yeah i don't want to see your room dude uh so yeah what else do we do like house tours that's just fucking weird pleasantries i guess in today's

world anyways thanks diva hmm i completely disagree with this really i agree with it you do pleasantries, I guess, in today's world. Anyways, thanks. Viva. Hmm. I completely disagree with it. Really? I agree with it. You do? I agree to an extent. I'm kind of somewhere in the middle. I think that if you have a new house that's

really nice or something, when people throw... I did this a lot of like in Manhattan, throughout our twenties, like an apartment warming party where it's like, here's my converted bedroom and here's like my, uh, my closet, like my arm war, my freestanding closet. Cause I don't have a real one. And you know what I mean? It's just like this apartment sucks. I don't need to fucking see see this but if you have like a dope house and you're throwing a party

and you want to show me some shit but sometimes i do think it's a little self-serving it's like oh it's it's you're yeah you care about your new basement that you furnished and this and that it's not mine it's kind of it's it's a little bit reminiscent of looking at vacation photos where it's like i don't this i don't care but it's also like it's just little bit reminiscent of looking at vacation photos where it's like, I don't, this, I don't care. But it's also like, it's just something to do. Yeah. Well, that John is an important thing that you just said, because I, I made a brand for many years, the theme of this episode continuing again with everything coming full circle.

My brand for many years was kind of pointing out whether it's small talk on a conference call or work interactions or the little like social pleasantries that you have to go through and talking about how fucking stupid they are and like to see you next year's all those things. And then you hit a point where you're older, where you're like, well, now I'm socially, I have social anxiety and now anything that will just fill the time, I'm okay with. So, sure, just show me the tour of your house, because otherwise I'm going to be like, what am I doing here? I don't have anything to talk about. Yeah, when you walk in my apartment, like, I'm just going to be like,

hey, here's the bedroom, here's the whatever. Like, what are we going to do, just hang out in my living room? No, that's weird. I got to show you around the whole place.'s the whatever. What are we going to do, just hang out in my living room? No, that's weird. I've got to show you around the whole place. Now, sure, and what's good about that, at least for usually here, it's kind of like bedroom, living room, here's the kitchen. Oh, yeah, we set up the island, a couple, whatever. Now, the other side, do you remember the tour?

Were you there, the tour of 11 in Miami? I was there. I was not really present consciously. Okay. I wasn't sure if you, did you physically go on the tour with me or no? I did. I did physically. I vaguely remember.

So we, last year, we're in Miami for the Super Bowl. We go to 11. They're very gracious. They'd roll out the red carpet for us. And then they wanted to give us a tour of the restaurant and the club and the private rooms and this and that. And I mean, it's like a 25 minute tour. It was a lot. It was like I'm trying to party and go see my friends. And a couple of people were smart and were like yeah yeah i'll catch up with you and they just peeled off and i think me and you being like the suckers like sure man thanks so

much i would love that next thing you know i'm like meeting the fucking chef or something like the the waitress i'm just like i what i thought this was a strip club like what what's happening here so sometimes the tour can be a bit much, especially if you pronounce it to her like this guy. Hi, KFC fights, Nick, shout out to Jackie, Catherine from Boston. Just wanted to get your guys' opinion on something. This is the threesome girl, the swinger girl. My husband.

Oh. Last night as we- Wait, did you hear that? No, it started over. I just went, as we are- Wait, did you hear that? No, start it over. I just want, so we'll replay it, but this is Catherine. She was the male woman then, but she goes to swingers clubs. She used to call CCK all the time. She's amazing.

She's a really, she's, her and her husband, Joe, voicemail Joe and Catherine from Boston are two people who made me radically change my my like point of view about life where I was like you know we talk we say that they're the crazy ones and they're like so happy and we're the ones doing things quote-unquote normal and we talk about like killing ourselves every day so go ahead let's hear from Catherine hi KFC fight Nick shout out to Jackie. Catherine from Boston. Just wanted to get your guys' opinion on something before I put in the divorce papers for my husband. Last night, as we are just about to sleep, all of a sudden I hear some crunching.

I turn over. It's a joke. It's a joke. Raw dog and Oreos. Okay, this is going to be a joke. It drove me crazy. And he does it a lot. And i kind of just threw it off but like this time it was like he was definitely trying to hide it and he's got a stack of oreos

on the nightstand he's just housing them no milk which i think is my tipping point and i it's like why are you eating them raw and he's like you don't eat oreos raw they come raw and i go that's like the most psychotic way to eat an oreo so i just want to know your guy's opinion uh he does have a nice life insurance package so okay i that scared the shit out of me i mean i was perturbed i was like very upset about that i was like very upset about that. I was like, Oh, this is, I actually don't, if we were being totally honest, I was very happy. That's going to be very funny. That's perfect. I was good. That was, I mean, you can see my face on it again.

If you're watching on the YouTube subscribe, I mean, I just proclaimed how like they're the happy couple and she's like, I'm getting divorced. I was like, no, but obviously it's a joke talking about him, raw dog and the Oreos in bed. I think I'm on Catherine's side here. I think like out of all cookies and all things that you might dip, the Oreo is the number one must dip. I agree.

Number one, John. But also, I do it with water regularly. I see. I actually, I would guess that I dip it in water. No. I put it in my mouth.

No! I do it with everything. I do it with pretzels. No! No. I do it with everything. No. I do it with goldfish. I do it with pretzels. I do it with pretzels. Put it in my mouth and then I take a sip. No. No. Why?

Simply no. No. You're a bad dog. Sit down. No. Hank running his Oreos under the fucking faucet. Marty eating his Oreos in the shower. You're eating your goldfish, mixing it up

with water in your mouth. No. I think it tastes the same. It's just a nice moisturizing aspect of it. Well, you know, people eat fucking crackers and crunchy things because they're

crunchy. They don't want them fucking soggy in water. Fucking gross. Now the milk gives it the perfect, oh man, Oreo that's soaked just the right amount. I like it pretty soaked. I leave mine in. I like it. Some people just like dip, dip.

I like hold it in and the bubbles are coming out. Like I drown my Oreos. Oh, I do the fork. Yeah. And then so you can get it all the way in. Sometimes if I don't have the fork, I I'll put, you know, just like the tip of my fingers are in the milk and they go numb. Cause I leave it in that ice cold milk for so long. And I don't want to have even go numb, Kevin. Yep. Yep.

Yep. John. I, they do cause I don't want to have even like the last like nine tenths of the cookie. I don't want it to be crunchy. I want that shit to be drowned. I want to waterboard my Oreo. I want to go Abu grab on my fucking Oreos, man. I love it that way. Um, so, but you know, I guess it's weird if you're, you know, you're, you know, your husband fucking raw dogs them. But, you know, whatever. You can eat them however you want. He's an idiot. Yeah. I do way weirder things in bed than fucking eat raw Oreos. And let me tell you something.

Catherine and her husband do way weirder things in bed. You know what's so funny is that I've never heard from him and i don't know i mean at this point like her voice is very much out there she started an only fans uh like she's out there but i you know i would have thought by now i almost feel i wish i did hear from her husband because i feel like uh i want to be like this is right? You cool with the fact that we talk about this? I feel like I'm breaking guy code, you know? You haven't heard from her husband because he doesn't know about any of this. Well, that's what I thought.

But I'm thinking, like I said, our OnlyFans is out there now. And her face is out there on the OnlyFans that she calls in. Her OnlyFans is out there? Yeah. Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah, definitely. Definitely. It's like it said something like I'm a – I think it said I didn't know that. Yeah, definitely. Definitely. It's like, it said something like, I'm a, I'm a,

I think it said I'm a MILF trying to have fun. She's pregnant too, by the way. So she's got a kid on the way. But I'm always like, are we good here? I'm telling you, man, they live a fucking wacky, interesting, happy life. The latest was that they, she told me they get on like group chats sometimes with the couples they swing with and then every now and then they're like group sexting kind of and but her husband will be like you don't ever say that about like my dick what the fuck and they get in like little little little

fights over the fact that they're sexting with four other people i feel like a group sex two months from here too much i would i would do better in group sex than group sexting oh that's an interesting question do you think you'd be a better orgy participant or text orgy i still think i know what you mean but i am good at texting and sexting and i'm not good at throwing dick so like i think i i think i could you know the only thing that's weird is that there's a guy in there and they're virgin you know yeah right only thing that's weird is that there's a guy in there, and they're a virgin, you know? Yeah, right, exactly. Like, I would not be able to be, like.

Would you rather group sex with a dude or, like, double team a chick? And I'm not talking, like, Eiffel Tower. I'm talking, like, the double team. Double team. So you'd rather have, like, your ball slapping than text for them easy not even a question kevin really me like sometimes you slip out and like your dicks rub together that is way easier to deal with than just fucking like whispering sweet nothings via text message with a guy on the chain well i i would always i would be so in my own head with that right because the the sex is just fucking whatever right like that's

that's just primal that's just easy in a group text i would just always like go back and look and be like oh my god i can't believe i said that yes but like i guess it all depends on how you perform in your group sex like if i if i threw down i'd be like whatever i held my own it's like i went out there and you know i got my buckets but i don't even know how i would incorporate him in the group sexting well that's that's what i was gonna say is i don't think i would i think i would just sex the girls oh yeahers? Yeah, and like just pretend he's not on there You know? Well, that's

That's not group sexting then Well, I'm sexting both of the girls And then he can chime in And then the girls chime in about us But we don't ever have to It's like, okay No, this is perfect Fuck you

Because it's like If we had a threesome But I don't fuck you or kiss you or touch you it's still a threesome yeah but you have to acknowledge my existence no i don't why do i why do i have to i mean we could just have like an ignite like like okay we're switching positions and you know it and i know it you know it's just like it's a natural flow of the game i mean it's a threesome ritual where you high-five your dicks. That, you know what that is?

You've been hanging out a little bit too long with Marty Mush. That was a Marty Mush line. You rats don't high-five your dogs? What are you talking about? I don't think I'll be high-fiving dicks. You'd be good with touching dicks, though, in a threesome? I mean, it wouldn't be my goal, but if it happened, I would be okay. By seeking it out, per se.

I really think – I actually had this thought to the day. I don't know why. Probably because I'm a perverted freak but i was thinking like if you had a threesome with another guy and and he and he totally outlasts you what do you do you just like come and go like you just get your fucking clothes and leave you bring him a glass of water yeah that's what i mean he's like at that point i feel like he you know you have to like become his servant like he wins terrible uh all right last voice now what we got although robin hood news has got me thinking this is something i've always wanted to do if you could invest in anything the way we invest in stocks what would

you do long term short term whatever Thinking like favorite bands, favorite podcasts, generic stuff, toilets, any people, whatever. Anything that could have value that could go up or down. I'd probably invest in the song Mask Off by Future. Thanks, Viva. I mean, I know what he's saying. There'll be a moment when the pandemic ends and everyone's playing Mask Off, but not really you know yeah no no that i would not invest in that i would you know i get where he was going but no

um i would invest i said it earlier in the show i would invest in kevin clancy i am so flattered i would rather uh extend that so to to kfc radio because i i said it where we maybe we said it on like the New Year's podcast. I said like, I think it's going to be our biggest year just because we have everything figured out for the most part. Barstool has kind of like settled into this new world, like Dave's in Miami and like we're just able to do our own thing with like the support of Barstool, but without like the, the bad, the bullshit of it.

I just think we're, we're ready to cook and like fire on all cylinders. So I would buy some stock in us. You know, I would buy stock in the poet chick from the inauguration. Oh, good one. She's on the cover of time,

I believe already. Um, and she did. Didn't she, she's some of the super bowl bowl didn't she commercial or a poet yeah there was something yeah like they're gonna just throw her on everything she'll be the face of you know the whole administration and and the culture she's talented she's a woman she's black she's young i mean she's got she's checking every fucking box she'll be you know she'll have like a

netflix special in like a year. She'll have a podcast. She'll have a book. She'll do it all. I was going to say something similar. David Poshnok. I would invest in him. Poshnok, not as a hockey player, as like a fashionista.

He's just a man. He's just a man. Yeah. This isn't going to make any sense to you at all, but I'm going to say it. My favorite David Poshnok fact is that he played with Dennis Seidenberg's dad. Yeah, I mean. It doesn't make any sense to you. But I can understand the concept of like, yeah, that's how young he is.

Dennis Seidenberg won the cup in 2011 with the Bruins. And Posta played with his dad. Dad? Wait. Wait, what? Dennis Seidenberg was on the 2011 Stanley Cup Bruins team. Okay. And David Poschnok was on his dad's hockey team.

That's bananas. Yeah, it's crazy. That's crazy, Dad. I mean, like, it was one of those things, like, he was in Germany, I think. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Posta was, like, 17. Right. It's crazy. I mean, like it was one of those things. He was in Germany. I think. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It was like 17.

Right. It's insane. That's also along the lines with hockey. Uh, that stat about Gretzky playing against the Nashville predators. That tweet did not get the attention. So the tweet was, it was breaking down all of Gretzky's points against other franchises.

So he's got like 250 points against the Anaheim Ducks. He even got 80 points against the Oilers, which that hurts. You know what I mean? That's five. Yeah. But like 20 or like eight, 10 points against the Nashville Predators because. It was eight points and he did it in two games. It was one goal, seven assists in two games. It was one goal,

seven assists in two games. Seven assists. And that was like, what? Cause like, you know, his last year in the league was their first year. His last year.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, crazy town. That, that guy absolutely nuts. The, the stat that,

that chick was put out was like hit him against the, the ducks and the Flames is like Ryan Whitney's entire career or something like that. It was fucked up. Yeah, I think it was exactly those two teams. He did wit dog dirty. There's no need to frame it that way. What was the question?

Oh, stock. I know it's not like, this is kind of just an actual answer, but like, why aren't we buying like weed stocks? We should get in on one of these. It's gambling, we're in on, and weed. Those are the two things that are being legalized. I know you got to pick right, because there's like 50 million different companies but there's got to be like a bitcoin of cannabis where it's like this is the one you know it's nick lachey that's who i'm buying stock nicky nicky lachey i don't buy stock in nick lachey he is i believe like the moment Ohio legalizes weed, I think Nick Lachey becomes a billionaire. Billionaire. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. That's my number one stock. Great idea by you. Nick Lachey. Okay. And I will then stick a little bit with the, you know, boy band pop theme. I'm going to buy stock in Brittany because I think I'm buying low and I think she's going to get free. I think it's going to happen. I think it's going to gonna take a while but i do think she will be set free and then it's gonna

be either a boom or a bust she's gonna like spend 250 million dollars on like crack or i think she's gonna become you know a feminist hero icon of music and pop culture. I actually hope she does that. I hope that not that one, the first one, the crack one, he gets, you know, the conservatorship, whatever it's called. I hope he gets free of that and then just lights all of her money on fire. Wouldn't that be great. If she, if she does it in a way, like I don't want her to be destructive. I want her to be spiteful and be like, dad, you know, uh, guess what? I'm donating all of my money to whoever, not you, you know, just fire the fire.

I'm donating it to the, to the atmosphere, by the way, in case people don't know the full extent, I think there's a lot of confusion. The latest ruling I know, this is like my deflating. Like I know all like the legal rules. This judge ruled that Jamie Spears is no longer the sole owner or person running the conservatorship. So at the end of the day, he had like final say he had individual power. Now, Britney came along and said, I want this trust company. I think it's called like Bessemer or something like that trust to run it. And this judge ruled their 50 50. So it's like a step in the right direction. But he still is the the conservator. But I saw like on Twitter, the judge's daughter tweeted like I could have told Mr. Spears that like my mom doesn't

fuck around. She's not one to play with. It with it's like well then why didn't she fucking just end this shit like well you know she's not one to play with why not just be like you're no longer the conservative i mean i'm sure there's appeals and things that like if you don't do it the right way you might blow like the whole operation you got to do it like in in steps but wouldn't you be if you were a judge wouldn't you want to be like i'm going to be the hero who just frees this girl and like gets the pop like gets the credit gets the you know like the free britney movement will love whoever finally does it yeah you you'd be what ito yeah i was gonna say judge lance ito but in a good way where it's like you didn't fucking let off a murderer there are very few judges who are remembered

forever and i want to be one yeah yeah exactly what do you think of the jt apology i okay so i we kind of talked about this um in the office the other day um and i i still haven't seen the the hulu documentary so i i don't want to pretend i'm speaking from a place i'm not um There's not too much, by the way, it really is just the cry me a river video. And then the clip of him being like, yeah, I got in her pants. So I don't think the cry me a river video is bad. I think that's fine. I think that's what artists do is they make art.

Total double standard with guys and girls on that one. You know, Taylor Swift makes a video about being cheated on. It's like girl power. The guy did it. And for some reason it's, I don't know. I think it's very odd that people are so mad about that, that he like. I think it was more just shitty that it did like, it led to her downfall. That was like where it turned from like, she's a pop star to like,

the media is just going to put a bullseye on her back and call her a whore so that's why i bet you like if i don't know if justin timberlake saw the way that shook out he had a crystal ball i wonder if you'd be like all right i don't want to do that like that's i didn't want that reaction but yeah you get cheated on you're young too you want to like clap back in a way you want to make some art over it you do it right but also like we might cut this i don't know but like i mean it kind of happened to you and like your yeah right like yeah it is you know like it was something that happened that was you know made clear that like you cheated or whatever and like you're okay like you didn't go i mean you go crazy i mean it did like you know Torpedo a lot of different things but But yeah like I

Yeah I don't think anybody I just don't think it's fair Don't get me wrong I know it was hard I obviously know it was hard for you I'm sure it was hard for Brittany but like But nobody would go Claim that like Caitlyn shouldn't have done You know what I mean like it's like you have the right to do

That when that kind of shit happens right yeah but the other one was the uh was him just being like yeah i fucked her which is like yeah it's not the the most tasteful thing but but i i that one again again i want to i want to be very clear here it is i have not seen this i do not know exactly how it was said or anything like that but like he was on a howard stern type show as i understand it and he was like what 20 years old probably yeah and like you know like fucking who was it um who's the guy from that 70s show ashton kutcher no the other one the uh uh dover Doe for Grace? Nope. The, uh, the guy who fucks a lot of girls? Yeah.

Wilmer Valderrama. Wilmer Valderrama. When he was on Howard Stern and he just, like, laid out, like, everyone he's ever fucked. Yeah, yeah. Right? Like, when you're a young person

on a show where, like, the person is a bigger celebrity than you are and they're kind of pressuring you and you kind of just fucking say things. Yeah. I also, I guess the whole thing was, like, people were saying, than you are and they're kind of pressuring you and you kind of just fucking say things yeah i

also i guess the whole thing was like people were saying well britney was trying to tell people she's a virgin and he like outed her it's like well it's not outing when you're the one telling the truth you know like you she's lying the whole world knows that we fucked i just said it that was such a weird trend in like the late 90s lie and say you're a virgin everyone was pretty he was like aguilera yeah i think jessica simpson actually was simpson like why was everyone you know maybe she was like why was just everyone pretending to be a virgin well i guess it was like a you know a sales thing like you want parents to buy you know this shit for your daughter.

What's weird is Christina Ariana Grande comes along and just didn't say anything one way or the other. You don't have to proclaim, yeah, I fuck. You don't have to be like, yeah, I've never had sex before. She's like, my boyfriend's got a huge cock. Then

she just went like, yeah, you can 69 me and come in my pussy. The whole Jt thing was crazy to me it's like people wanted an apology he gave them the apology it wasn't good enough it wasn't the right way it wasn't the right time like you can't win that's why when people it's like yeah he didn't do well with it i thought it was good i thought it was actually very it thought it was actually very, it was, it was definitely like a PR thing. That's another thing is like, you don't get to just like do your own statements when you're that famous, you have a team, the manager, but it was like, I, I specifically want to apologize to Britney Spears and Janet Jackson. I like, I was young and dumb. I work in a system that is geared to make things work for me. And I realized that and I like I'm apologizing, but I know that doesn't fix everything.

And I'm just going to be better going. It was like everything you really need to say. And people were like, why did he do it on a notes app? The only reason he's doing it now is because he's getting negative attention and it's too little too late. It's like, well, then why are you clamoring for a fucking apology? If it's too little, people are like, I already wrote him off. Well, then fine, then write him off. But you can't ask for an apology,

get the apology, and then say, no, that doesn't count. I do want to watch his movie, though, by the way. It is good. Oh, you mean the movie Palmer? Yeah. I have to think about the doc. Some people were saying that's the other thing.

He's doing it for publicity for Palmer. I was like, I mean, I don to think about the doc. Some people were saying that's the other thing. He's doing it for publicity for Palmer. I was like, I mean, I don't know about that. But he's like an ex-con who got out of jail or something? Yeah. Yeah. All right. I'm going to go watch that right now. How about that?

You know what? I think I want to do it too. All right. That's it for us. Go subscribe to the YouTube, KFC Radio, The Kevin Clancy Show. Go subscribe to Barstool Confessions. By the way, we've been recording for like three and a half hours. I know.

I'm sorry, Nick. That was a long one. No, it's not. It's just like this is a good episode. It's a little President's Day miracle for you cool kids and cats. Tonight, Clubhouse. Nick, how do you tell people to find a clubhouse? You just search the name?

I think search for you and then if it it's following you, it'll show. Okay. Your fight's Barstool in there? Let me check. Zach's more the clubhouse guy, and he's not in here right now. But I'm pretty sure that's how it's done. I think I could tweet it out, too. Oh, yeah.

Okay. Yeah, I'm fight's Barstool. All right. Tonight, 7 p.m. Clubhouse. You can find me on there. KFC Barstool. Feidelberg's on there as Fights Barstool.

We'll also tweet out the link. Age, sex, location. The premiere of the first ever social media dating show, game show, dating app, podcast. Me, Kelly Fights, breaking it down with three guys, three girls trying to find some love, make some matches, have some fun, crack some jokes. And so join us for that. And then Wednesday night, KC Radio Live, Valentine's Day edition, featuring the girls of Because We Got High. Subscribe on all our YouTubes. Follow us for the shows.

And we'll see you Wednesday night for the live show. And, of course, later in the week for our regular episode. see you Wednesday night, the live show. And of course, later in the week for our regular episode, see you motherfuckers later. Bye. Out of me, I bring them to the light for you It's only like this is the soundtrack to my life The soundtrack to my life To my life, to my life, to my life To my life, to my life, to my life

To my life, to my life, to my life Yeah. Uh-huh. Yeah. Uh-huh. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.