KFC Radio - The Internet is Torn Between Doors vs Wheels Ft. Emma Willmann

Episode Date: March 8, 2022

- Marty Mush joins to try to explain how man-made islands are created, specifically in Dubai - The Batman Review - Are there more wheels or doors in the world? - Top 5 is inspired by Charlie Sheen's return in Hollywood - Voicemails - time when technology failed you - free LA Fitness memberships for the crew - Rock Paper Scissors stand - Interview with Emma Willmann on being a worse sleep-eater than Feits, going on tour with Louis C.K., commentating porn, and much more FIND YOUR TICKETS TO LIVE SHOWS HERE: https://linktr.ee/kfcr ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ 0:00 - Dubai 9:27 - Marty tries to explain man-made islands 26:47 - The Batman 55:06 - more wheels or doors 1:15:21 - Top 5 biggest partiers in the world 1:48:51 - Voicemails 2:18:05 - Emma Willmann Interview ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Hellofresh : Go to https://barstool.link/HFKFC and use code kfc16 for up to 16 free meals AND 3 free gifts MVMT: Join the MVMT and get 15% off today by going to https://barstool.link/MvmtKFC Betterhelp: Go to https://barstool.link/BHKFC for 10% off your first month. Roman: Go to getroman.com/KFC to get your first month of Swipes for just $5 when you choose a monthly plan.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Come on, guys! We got this! We're gonna go out there and fucking kill it! We're gonna win the championship! All right, about to get into a new episode of KFC Radio. First, listen up, Boston. Our show, our live show is almost here, March 18th. Now, when we put tickets on sale, Boston showed out.

We sold out the first show in a matter of minutes. There are still tickets available for the second show. So I'm telling you now, if you want to celebrate your St. Patrick's Day weekend and do it right and make it a classic, come on out for the second show. There are still tickets available. We want to sell it out. We want to blow it out. We want to have a monster weekend.

So we need you guys to step up and buy that second ticket. You know we're going to be the second most famous people on stage? What do you mean? The bagpiper we have. Oh, that's right. She's like a TikTok legend, right? Yeah, we're going to have bagpipes. We're doing it up for St. Patrick's Day.

So if you're at the first show and you want to just buy the second show and stick around with us all night long, please do it. If you are available that night and you want to get tickets to come out for the second show at the Wilbur, do that as well. So, look in the descriptions of the video. If you're on YouTube, if you're on social media, check out our bios. The link to buy our tickets are in there. We're going to blow it out St. Patrick's

Day style. So make sure we sell that second show out. Philly, we're coming to see you in May. You can get your tickets there now. And Nashville's sold out. Chicago, get ready. We're coming for that ass too. We're announcing that soon. So Boston and Philly can get your tickets there now. And Nashville's sold out. Chicago, get ready. We're coming for that ass, too. We're announcing that soon. So Boston and Philly, buy your tickets. Subscribe to the podcast, KFC Radio on YouTube. Bang. Alright.

It's another edition of KFC Radio on the Barstool Sports Network. Abu Dhabi Jackie's back. Got a nice tan going. It's fake. Really? You went all the way over there and didn't get a... I guess you're not allowed to show your skin over there, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You go to jail. I guess if there's actually one place where there's a bunch of pale bitches, it's the Middle East. Yeah, so I had a fake tan because I am. Now that she's back, can I say the tweet that made me laugh out loud? Well, I was afraid... I didn't want to cold-thinks expose us, but somebody tweeted at us that she's the number one person that would go overseas during a world war breaking out and then get stuck there.

And I didn't want to like retweet it because I was like, don't put that out in the universe. It might happen. A couple of people on Twitter, a couple of people. I just want to say abroad. They loved me there. Oh yeah.

I bet. I understand. Like I i get you know because i'll probably like show more skin whatever but i mean it was i almost didn't come back the men were men were swooning after me in the street i am not surprised one percent jacklin surprise on this side of the list. That checks out. I was like, I don't think I want to come back. I almost didn't. I don't know what I can say, but yeah, that makes sense.

I don't know how to proceed right now, but all I'll say is if you... Between all the people involved, you and people in the UAE, I get it. I could have predicted it. If you want... That's in the UAE. I get it. I could have predicted it. If you want. That's probably super ignorant to say I get it, but you know what I mean. No, no.

It's just crazy to me. If I was a chick, if I was in your spot, it's like, yeah, you could get this job here and work and be a normal person. Or you could just go over there and live like a goddess for the rest of your life. I was a celebrity. It was so great. Right. Just like you live like a goddess for the rest of your life. I was a celebrity. Right. Just like you. Paper everything for the rest of my life. Done.

It's amazing. Now you also run the risk of, I don't know, getting your hands chopped off or something because you wear the wrong clothes at the wrong place. I don't know. They were so sweet to me. What are the rules in Abu Dhabi? Was it Abu Dhabi or Dubai?

It was Dubai. Those are the same. I call it Abu Dhabi. I'm missing the point. I went Dubai, Egypt, and then Tel Aviv. Okay. I heard Tel Aviv is like South Beach. It's like a party.

It was so cool. Yeah. Dubai is too, right? What? Dubai is too. Yeah, Dubai is cool, but there's no history to it. Oh, you don't like that. Dubai is the one where they built an island.

Yes. They built that in like 2015. Which I do not understand. No, I mean. Yeah, we built an island. We have built islands here in America too, right? They built the island. It looks like a thing, doesn't it?

It's like a palm tree or some shit, right? It's crazy. Designed or not, I do not understand how you build. How does it not float away? Right? Because it's not... The dirt doesn't touch all the way. There's not thousands of feet of dirt, are there? That's a great point.

That's a great point. There might be to anchor. Or maybe they anchor it. Maybe they build it on cement. I mean, I'm sure we can figure this out. And then on the bottom of the cement is an anchor. And then even, but even, you're building a shitload of feet.

It's not floating. So it's all dirt right down to the bottom of the ocean floor? It's probably like a shallow part that they were just like, all right, let's fill it. Maybe they just filled water in. Maybe they didn't change the land Maybe they just filled water in. Maybe they didn't change the land, they just put water in. If you're telling me that it's actually just a very shallow part of the ocean that they put a little extra feet on,

then I don't think you can say you built an island. That was an island that was already there. When I tried to Google it, like, autofill was, how'd they build Dubai? You know how much it's just high people, was how they build dubai you know just hide people how you build dubai um okay let's see how was dubai built like how i want to know how deep process called land reclamation which involves dredging sand from the persian and arabian gulf floors the sand was then sprayed and vibro compacted into shape using gps technology for precision and surrounded by millions of tons of rocks for protection now i know that doesn't really explain it but god damn that's some smart motherfucker there was there were a lot of words

in that that i don't understand vibro by vibration um let's see let's let's get a but so that sounds like they dredge the sand that means you dig up up all the sands from these gulfs and bring it over. So it probably involves just like – But then like – so like I mean you can't – but it still can't be – maybe you're not in the middle of the ocean. But there's – I mean how deep is the ocean? The ocean is hundreds of feet deep, right? Huh?

Not there. Yeah, I guess not there. I don't know. I guess if you just build it like in the shallows, it's... Then that doesn't count then. That's not a built island. That's we moved some dirt around. The Dera Islands.

But they're fucking fire, though. It's all... This is probably one of my more ignorant segments ever. The rules... Yeah, this is what... People are going to love this. Yeah, we should ask Marty how they do this.

But I was going to ask, the rules in Dubai... Dubai is basically America, right? Yeah. Oh, really? Yeah. You can drink there, right? You only drink on hotel property, I think, right? I don't know. Well, where do you drink, Jackie? Well, I just... wherever.

Again, Jackie Jackie you know probably different rules probably different rules Jackie's like I don't know the Sultan house was fine I didn't I didn't see now wait

here's the thing mostly I drink in the Sultan's day bed I just met like 30 other girls and we just like hung out in this I think he called in this harem?

So wait, are we talking about like just those? Because like that's pretty small. Like just the little I think that's it, yeah. Because it looks like there's that one and that one. Those are relatively small. That I could see like, you know, you probably could

Yeah, like that's, you know, that's just like a little fucking... Is that where the whole thing is? No, the Palm is just a small part of Dubai. Right. Oh, okay. So I think the actual Dubai is just a regular ass piece of land. Yeah, all right. So Dubai is a great marketing team.

You are not a built island. You're mostly just part of a fucking continent. Also, we're idiots. There's probably tons of people who don't think that. I don't think so. I think everyone thought Dubai was a built island. Also, though, Dubai has buildings that are 5,000 feet tall, right? Yeah.

So all that shit is architecturally crazy. That's where they go. Like into the clouds. It's fucking nuts. Yeah, that's where they jump in Fast and Furious. Naturally. They jump from building to building. The car, it's crazy.

Oh, yeah. When I said to jump from building to building, you thought I meant jump. No, no. With a vehicle. Fast and Furious. Thank you very much. So, Jackie's back. What did you feel?

How did you feel about Boys Week times two where we accomplished more than like any other podcast in the world has ever accomplished? That's not true. That's not true? That's not true? That's not true. You guys just like happened to. Really? Is it coincidence though? No.

It's like a year straight with you here. None of this happens. You leave. Everything goes great. No. It's just interesting. It just makes you go, huh. I will say like everybody kind of.

You guys were kind of fine without me, which was a little, like... What did you expect? You were going to leave and we were going to fall into pieces? I don't know if it's going to crumble. After, like, 15 years, we're going to be like, what do we do? Jackie's gone! Marty, come on.

Sit down. How do you think... I like your shirt, by the way. I also like how Zach in respect to Coach K is wearing a t-shirt tucked into slacks today to honor the death of Coach K god that guy sucks so much

we'll talk about that in a minute it's insane that there's any Duke fans in the world they're so lame and somehow they have the biggest fan base in the world what the fuck how do you think they they have like the biggest fan base in the world. What the fuck? How do you think they make the man-made islands in Dubai? You know what I'm talking about? Those like

palm tree islands? I've been having trouble with the man-made stuff. Yeah, we... I thought lakes were man-made. Well, some of them are, right? Ponds and shit, anything like with the hole I thought was man-made. Alright, so first of all, I agree with you to an extent. I think ponds are...

Most ponds... No. No. No. I agree that the ones that are man-made, it's confusing. We're talking about these things. In Dubai, those are like...

That's man-made? Man-made means... You think that's natural? Yeah, who the fuck thinks it's in the shape of a palm tree? You think that the world just happened to build islands in the shape of a palm tree, Martin? I just don't get man-made shit. It doesn't make any sense to me. So how do you think they even would go about creating that?

If I said to you, Marty, I want you to make an island that's shaped like a palm tree so people can live on it and have buildings and restaurants and nightlife and shit, how would you go about that? I feel like you just got to trace it on a piece of paper. That's right. Okay, all right. So let's say we build a big plastic tracer. Tracer.

That's step one. We drop it on the ocean. Now what? Just cut it out and then color it up. And then what? Color it up? Yeah, color it up. Now we have a big plastic thing in water.

We need land there. You're asking too many questions. I don't even... I just thought about fucking lakes and shit. Have you ever seen a square pond? No. Nope. No, you seen a square pond? No. Nope. No, you're right.

I haven't. Why would I see a square pond? I don't know. Why isn't there? If it's man-made, why are they all square? They're not man-made. Some of them are. They are.

They are, yeah. But like in general. But also like why aren't the regular ones sometimes square? Exactly. I don't think like naturally occurring. But it's not erosion. Because there's not erosion. In general, wind and nature and shit is never going to give you

perfect 90 degree angles. Pools are square. Yeah, you got us there. Would you bring land out to that water or would you bring water to a desert-y place where there's already land? Would you bring land out to that water, or would you bring water to a desert-y place where there's already land? Would you bring land to that?

Yeah, there's just the ocean right there, right? And I'm like, build some islands. So you bring dirt and sand and rocks to the water? No, you bring water. You bring water to a place where there's already land, and you fill in the water part. Because water is a bunch of buckets. Just get the buckets.

Just get everybody with the buckets. You know what's crazy? All these answers are obviously exceptionally stupid, but when you look at the pyramids, right? How do they build that? Marty would be like, I don't know, get a bunch of people to drag rocks there.

That's what they did! Sometimes that's just how they did shit. That's not how they did that. They didn't bring water. They brought the land. No, but I'm saying you can look at, like, you know, architectural marvels and it's like, I don't know, they just had millions of slaves carry rocks and build them in a triangle. That was it. Land. Like, because I've been thinking about, like, is every piece of land owned right now?

Like, can I go out and buy a piece of land? Like, where's, who owns the woods? No, I don't think every piece of land's owned. I don't think so. I think that's... No, I actually know... I know for a fact that there's a couple, like, small islands that you can buy. There's islands in, like, the New York... In, like, the Long Island Sound that you can buy for, like...

I want islands, though. I want... I can't afford that. Can I buy a piece of the woods? Yeah, probably. I don't... God, you're fucking... Holding our feet to the fire on this one.

This is where, you know, Marty's brain is a marvel, though. Marty's brain is great. I wish he was in for Guys Be Fucked. Where it was like, yeah, I don't know the answers, but nobody knows the answers to these things. Those are the only answers I want. You probably could go to a conservationist or something like that and buy plants. Marty is like the anti-Henry Ford. Henry Ford's claim, not claim to fame, but what he would say was, I don't know the answer to things, but I can get the answer for you.

Yeah. And Marty, you ask questions that I cannot get the answer to. Yeah, but I could also say things and you'd be like, maybe he's right. Yeah. Yes. No, you've mastered saying things that I can't the answer to. Yeah, but I could also say things and you'd be like, maybe he's right. Yeah. Yes. No, you've mastered saying things that I can't prove right or wrong. It's like I know because I've read a book before that's not the case, but I can't tell you why.

I was talking to some schmuck this weekend, and he was talking. He was all upset about politics stuff. I was like, why do you worry yourself with that? Worry yourself with things that are fun. And affect your life. Or it's like the woods, for example. Imagine I could build a hut on this wood

and then I could maybe sell snacks out of it. But it's a cool snacks shop. You know what I mean? And you're working about fucking Byron getting upset about it. It's like, hey, who's Byron? The guy who says Byron. Joe Byron. So wait, what snacks are you going to sell?

What the fuck, Marty? What the fuck, man? Where in the woods would you prefer to be and what kind of snacks would you sell? What kind of foot traffic do you think you're going to get in the woods? You're telling me. Depends on how good the snacks are.

Yeah, you wouldn't go to a snack place in the woods if it's kind of sick. Nope. No, dude. How far into the woods are we talking? Honestly, no joke. I have a question. When was the last time you were just in the woods? When I had my first three-way kiss.

But I would want 27 steps in and a little bit to the left, and that's it. Off of a major road or off of a campsite? Yeah, like a little bit to the left and that's it. Off of like a major road or off of like a campsite? Yeah, yeah, yeah, like a highway. Just like everyone pulls over. Like people pull over for hot dog stands. Okay. They wouldn't pull over for my snacks. I used to do it in high school.

Yeah, like a little farm stand where it's like get your fresh fruit, get your fresh vegetable. Except it's Marty selling like Cheetos. So in your perfect world, Marty, let's just put this out there. Yeah, paint that picture. What your professional job is, in your fantasy, your wildest fantasy, is a little deep into the woods, you have a sign that says

something along the lines of free candy. Yeah. Where you just lure people out to the woods. Oh, I see what you did. You're a bad kid. You're a bad kid. Maybe I should do it in a more open space.

Bring the family, bring the kids too. For some reason, no one comes back out of the woods with my boys. Oh, shit. This is why I don't like coming on here. Everyone is small in this grunt of laughs.

The pan video was perfect because it was like did it work or did it not work I don't really know and I can't really say and and then

next thing you know it's like you have a whole new franchise yeah no it's fun two idiots on TV how'd the clapper go

the clapper was great did it work clapper's old school that old lady it's three it's three claps it's three claps it's a little much but watching you guys do that shit it's it's like watching if you want to old school barstool stuff like it's like watching the fucking air conditioner fight yeah it's like because I was watching I was

listening to you guys and like Dana was clearly giving you the wrong instructions. Dana's instructions for the clapper were clap, pause, clap, pause, pause. And in no world can you pause, pause. Double pause. That just means quiet. It means stop making noise. Right, right. So I was like the whole time.

I'm watching it on my phone. There's no way it says pause, pause. It just can't. It so I was like the whole, I'm like watching it on my phone. Like, there's no way it says pause, pause. Like, like you just can't. It's obvious. It's gotta be the opposite, right?

It's clap, pause, clap, pause, clap. And, but pause, pause would make no,

I was, I was watching it. You can't double pause. It's infuriating. But, but screaming. He's raising the instructions wrong. Think about it, Marty. But that's raising the instructions wrong think about it Marty

and I can understand the people who are like this can't be real I've been dealing with that for four years if I hadn't been changing it now I don't know what to tell you that's how I am you would have gone crazy by now acting this stupid for this long

I'd be fucking Leo I'd be literally like an Oscar. For real. It's impossible to keep acting like this. So next I got ShamWow. I'm going to put like barbecue sauce and fucking lay out my own place. When those things do work it's incredibly satisfying.

Yes. Because everything on camera is like wow. And then you get it and it sucks. But if it does work you got to get into the billionaires. Remember the other one, the FlexiSeal? I think I'm going to do a little boat. I think that one works. I don't know about where there's a stream of water and he slaps it on.

But I've used it on things that are just dripping and it works. You've used FlexiSeal before? I was a homeowner, bro. I had a fucking house that sunk. I'm not talking about man-made islands. I lived on the flex seal tape i don't know about the other shit but the tape really works i don't know if you can smack it onto a you know an exploding dam and have it like or like you're in the middle of

a sinking boat and you just seal it up for a year there's so many products so many dude i could just keep buying and like i don't know how they get away with it where it's like, I think the vast majority of them don't work. No. And there's no sort of like Better Business Bureau being like, you can't just sell shit that doesn't fucking work. Like, I wonder, there's got to be a threshold where it's like, it kind of works. I feel like it kind of works for like the first time, too.

But then after that, it starts to really build shit. You put it in the oven, you put it in the washer or whatever. I'm going to be clapping for days. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I almost feel like the Better Business Bureau has. The clapper is fucking fire. That's a great invention for getting out of bed to turn the lights off. Sucks.

I think the clapper is before it's time. I don't ever have the lights on when I'm in bed. It's very rare. Basically, when I... I am like... You ever seen Bruce Almighty with Jim Carrey? When he does like the... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like I step into my room fully clothed.

Are you about to get naked? I think so. Are you about to get naked in the story? No. Well, no, not usually. But it is like pants down, shirt off, light switch off, into bed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's like it's a very smooth –

Right. And then I have a TV in bed and I watch that. But the – Yeah, yeah. But some people's lights are further away from their bed. I think people who have the lights on in bed are what we call readers. I was going to say, people who read, yeah, like stupid. I'm not much of a reading guy. I tweeted, I think, two weeks ago now.

I started a 600-page book. How long did it take to finish? How many pages have you read since then? Zero. Zero pages. Since then. I've read 23 up until I sent the tweet. I've read zero since.

I just don't know how anyone could read it and comprehend it at the same time because you're reading the words in your head, but there's also thoughts in the head, so everything's clashing together. So how can you just keep reading for that long? See, that was one of those things that you didn't say right, but it's right.

People do that all the time. People do that all the time when you're reading. You're just reading the words and not processing the story. Yeah, and then you flip the pages and you're like, wait, what the fuck? I can't listen to music and text. I also just don't listen to music anymore. My guy. Yeah.

Dude, I... I can't stand when he says this. I was... This is the man who stays up for like midnight Taylor Swift drops and shit, but he doesn't listen to music. But again, it's an exaggeration, but like today, I picked up my headphones and I walked out of my

apartment, and then I was like, why did I do that? I'm not listening to music today. Yes, I just walk with my thoughts. My thoughts are way more entertaining than fucking music. It depends on mood, but most of my moods do not involve music. Do you just listen to your own thoughts and think to yourself, wow, I am fucking ridiculous? Oh, see, I'm the exact opposite.

I don't have thoughts. Oh, I have tons. I'm out. It's just empty up there. I'm fucking... You just started giggling to yourself for like 10 minutes this morning. Well, I usually don't have thoughts. Everything said there's a little barrier here, but like...

What do you think legitimately goes on in your brain? I don't know. I always... We will never know. Bro, I always compare myself... i always compare myself into your brain like the matrix so bad and just be like it's just like a ping pong ball bouncing around in this empty room it is nothing going on there the the comparison i would use for myself because i'd noticed it at a young age i was watching boy meets world and who's the oldest brother eric eric eric participates in a sleep study yeah and and they're like they're like we don't. Why isn't anything happening in your head?

And I was watching the show at like 7. I was like, that's what it's like for me. I have two things. I have mostly every day I play a game over-unders of what I see on what people are wearing. Like a blue shirt? Yeah, like if I see,

I'll do over-unders 6.5 of seeing someone wear a sports shirt or like if i see like i'll do over under six and a half of like seeing like a sport someone wear a sports shirt or something that's fun that's this is bro this is some autistic shit yeah big time but it sounds it's it's like you know when you go on a on a like a long road trip back in the day before like phones and shit you like count license plates out of town and shit and like do things like that to keep you know busy it's like you just do that with your everyday life when I'm stationary I just put myself in situations with three words

every time you both just went like this at the same time what does that explain? this is certainly autistic but it also sounds entertaining yeah like kind of I'm gonna say it's confusing this is some, like, it's kind of, like, it's, I'm going to say it's confusing. This is some highbrow shit.

You do, like, Caterpillar, President, fucking Coach on Coke, and you're just all three of them at once, and you just kind of act it out. What do you? What? What does that mean? Act one out. I guess you guys don't do it. Coach on Coke.

It's like, you just think about it. Caterpillar do it. Coach on Coke. It's like, just think about it. Caterpillar president, Coach on Coke. Like, you're the president. You're the president of the United States, so you're like this. You're a caterpillar, you're a coach on Coke. Come on, guys. We got this. You're going to go out there and fucking kill it.

We're going to win the championship. Or something like that. You just do that while you're sitting at home. Or in my head. What does that mean? I don't know what's going on. I mean this is off the rails even by Marty Motio. Now give Kevin three words

stacked out. No, I'm not autistic! You don't sit around your apartment pretending to be a cat. You do not. Me and Dana will be like Dana be like Dana give me three words And we just do it

Really? Yeah What do you mean? Can I make that up? Give me three words I'll give you three words You do one word Yeah

Okay Chocolate What are you acting like? Chocolate I'm eating my chocolate ice cream Seagull Chocolate ice cream That Seagull. Chocolate ice cream that I got from the beach is good. Teacher, you're a teacher.

It's fun. I mean, you guys are two retards living together. This is the most fucking Charlie Kelly, Frank Reynolds thing I've ever seen in my life. Absolutely. This is a more complicated version of Nightcrawlers. What's crazy is that it's hard.

You know? I bet you the normies out there can't act out three random things. Oh, it's really fun. Give him some. I'll give you one. Fat. Sloth. See, these kind of relate, though. So far, so good.

John's just going to stand there. John's just going to go, done. I think I was just looking at him. Let's go. Let's go. Go go fat sloth and say, man who lives in the mountains. Let's do Olympian.

Okay. Heroin. And apples. Proceed. Is this gear? Proceed. All right. Is this gear? Eating that apple?

Or maybe he's eating the heroin. This is so stupid! This is so stupid. The best ones are the coach, because you've got to give a speech while you're all fucked up. I can just see when one of them throws out coach.

I got a coach. Oh man, it's always fun seeing the boys. Get out of here. Where can people watch the new As Seen on TV stuff? On YouTube, social? My YouTube and my Twitter.

Martin Mush, ladies and gentlemen good lord i feel like every time marty's in the room i'm on three chi i'm like am i is this happening or am i absolutely high as balls off of some three chi uh edibles the uh i got uh i don't know exactly what happened i don't know if it's maybe they meant to send one to you, but I got two shipments of 3G. Oh, yeah? So I got two of everything now. They sent me the cartridges, the edibles, the oils, and they sent the drink.

I can tell you how much they sent me. Zero. Zero. So, yeah, it's a little two-for-one special. It sounds like they might have been a little bit of a mishap. Well, there's so much in there that I'll bring the other one in. The drink, I still have yet to do it. It just comes in those little pixie stick type packets.

You pour it in and you're going to get fucking hot. Get high. We should do that. We should do that soon. We should just drink a bottle of water and get high episode. Okay. Because drinking water and getting high is like... Is that a good time?

If you told people that in the 60s, they'd be like, what? You're describing alcohol. No, it's different. It's not drunk. It's high. I feel like if I came from the future and I was like, I can get high on water, people would be like, what? Take me to your leader.

They'd kill you. Yeah, for sure. They'd stone me and throw me in the fucking, burn me at the stake. We got in the 60s. We immediately went to medieval times. No, in the 60s, they would be like, yeah, man. We have cars, dude. The 60s was dope, huh?

That free love era. They always say that the era between, it was after birth control was invented and before the AIDS epidemic. Oh, yeah. You said that. Everybody's fucking. Everybody's fucking. There was just no reason to say no to anybody. It was like, whatever. You're ugly. Whatever. I don't care. Your dick sucks. Whatever, man. I'm like, let's you said that. Everybody's fucking that. Everybody's fucking that. There was just no reason to say no to anybody.

It was like, whatever. You're ugly, whatever. I don't care. Your dick sucks, whatever, man. Like, that's just fucked. Nothing bad can happen. Can't get pregnant, can't get AIDS, whatever. Although, like...

I mean, everyone had gonorrhea. Well, that's the thing. Don't get me wrong. The world was rich with gonorrhea. See, here's what's weird. This is why I don't believe that stat, if you will. There was no AIDS, right? So you can't even envision a world where you would die from sex.

You know what I mean? So why would anybody at that moment be so... It's almost like they were running around going like, we can't die from having sex. Let's fuck. But it's like you would never even be thinking that. It's almost like there would need to be AIDS and you get rid of AIDS. And then, you know what I mean?

I see, yeah. Because there would be no reason to even fear that. Yeah. So I guess it would just be more. Well, you could. You could die. You could get pregnant. And then you die.

Just because, like, your life's over. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I was thinking about. Also, you could die from pregnancy. But yeah, I was thinking more like, well, now I have to. Your life's over. We should throw funerals for people who get, like, gender more like, well, now I have to. Your life's over. We should throw funerals for people who get like gender reveals, but you also just throw a funeral.

Your life's over. Because I think it would almost be better. I swear to God. I swear to God it would have been better for me to just accept that my life was over. I did not understand that your life is literally over and you start a new life. When did you not accept it? Like the first like year, like the first. That's it.

Not until Shay was like first several years, really. Like I used to always still like, I thought that I was going to be able to go out. I thought even just little things. Like I was like, I can't wait to go home and watch the Mets game tonight. Like, oh, it's like the Mets are playing the Phillies, like big series. Like, guess what you're not doing? Because you're going to put your fucking kids to sleep all night long.

You know what I mean? And I would like, I would, I would like fight it. I'd be like, okay, if I can get them, if I can get her to sleep in like the next hour, I can catch like the last three innings and da-da-da-da. And when that wouldn't happen, I would be like, fuck, this sucks. I get that. And then eventually you just are like, I'm not watching the game tonight. I'm not doing anything tonight. And then you become okay.

Then it's like, fine, you know, it's just like, I don't know, this is life now. Yeah, no, I mean, what you're saying makes like, because people, and you do see like people like panic, being like, if I could just get a moment to myself, like, well, if you stop recognizing yourself as alive, you don't need moments. You don't need moments. What are you going to do with that moment to yourself? That's the other thing you realize, too.

It's like, none of this is even fun anymore. None of this stuff is even good. The stuff that I'm longing to do is just meh. And I struggled with that in the beginning. So if someone had thrown me a funeral and been like, it's over, I would be like, okie dokie. Got it. And I would just sit at home on 3G. So Delta 8 is CHC in the form of vape cartridges, edible gummies, edible snacks, oils that you can make your own edibles with and like we mentioned the drink

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and get 5% off your purchase. Must use responsibly. Don't do it if you are a surgeon. Have you seen The Batman? I have not seen The Batman, no. So fucking fire. It's good. See, Nick was explaining to me earlier today, and he was like... Did he not like it?

He thought it was good. No, I thought it was good. Oh, it's so fire. I don't like the villain that they teased. I'm kind of sick of that. I mean, you had to know it was coming, though. Yeah, but there's like... You can't do it. Oh, they did the Joker.

Yeah, I mean, yeah. You know it. Yeah, I mean, it's just like... I thought people were excited for that because of that guy. People are excited about it, but no matter what, people are going to shit on it. I don't think so. I don't think so. I think the world is open. They do have

that buffer of fucking, what's his name? Yes. We'll shit on that. I think two things happen of Jared Leto. Yeah. Oh, I forgot about him. And people openly hate that one. I think two things have happened. I think the Batman world

is open and accepting, and kind of all of superheroes. They're accepting to the idea of different people doing different things. I don't think they're as like you. We've done like 50 different Batmans, and people don't get upset about that. I think the Joker is one that we have a clear, this is the greatest one ever, and we haven't had another one yet. I don't know. I don't think people would agree to this.

Oh, and Nicholson. So yeah, I mean, listen, there's a lot of different shit out there. But I think this Batman, I do still think that people think the Christian Bale Batmans are like on you might like the original Michael Keaton Batman, but you acknowledge that the Christian Bale

Batmans are like its own sort of thing. And this one comes along and does something very similar. It's more of like a – when people are like, what's your favorite comic book movie? And they answer with the Batman Begins or the Dark Knight Rises. I don't even – to me, that's not a comic book movie. Yeah. I think of Marvel comic books as comic book movies. And I understand this is stupid because Batman is definitively

a comic book character but the way they did those movies turned it into something different altogether same thing with the Joker, I didn't really like the Joker but I wouldn't call the Joker a comic book movie I see what you're saying because they're too dark I also think that's what I think that the Marvel

has made it very family friendly. Yes, fun, exciting. Whereas I can't believe it took DC this long to be like, oh, we'll just do the opposite. Just do the opposite. Don't try to keep up with the Joneses here. But just do the opposite. Although I honestly don't even know if they ever did try to be like them.

No, honestly, in the past 10 years, they have tried to be gritty, and it's just kind of sucked. Well, there's being gritty and adult. I think Peacemaker does it perfectly. Yeah, Peacemaker's fun. They have tried to be gritty and it's just like kind of sucked. Like there's nothing gritty and like adult. Like I think Peacemaker does it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like Superman snapped a guy's neck in the first movie where it's like, what the fuck was that?

Where it's like, that wasn't really for kids. I think, I think like Peacemaker, when you say gritty, I think you're saying it's like, like how it's shot. I mean like the content.

Oh no, yeah, no, that's it. Make it adult. Yeah. They wanted to make it like, well,

that's what like this one is. Yeah. Even the justice league, like Batman They wanted it to be great enough. Well, that's why this one is fucking... Even the Justice League was like, Batman is fucking shooting people. And everyone was like, he's very against guns. That was weird.

And everyone was like, what the fuck was that? I thought it was a dream sequence. And people were like, oh no, that was part of the movie. The real thing that

DC did stupidly was they tried to catch up with Marvel in like two years. Like Marvel planned that shit for 20 years. They were like, let's just do Justice League right now. It'll be our version of the Avengers. And it's like, no, dude.

Collect all these things to stop the alien. Right, except we don't have 15 years of buildup. But this Batman is dark as fuck. I mean, you couldn't show this to a kid. They swearing it? I think somebody said there's one F-bomb, but it's PG-13. It's not. Well, then I wouldn't like, but it's not like a noticeable thing.

Right. Like I never was like, he would have cursed there. Like in my head, I'm telling you absolutely they curse. And if you told me they don't, it's like, wow, I didn't even realize that. The music is so fucking dope. Music is incredible. I've never like. Like. The music is so fucking dope. The music is incredible. I've never like... Like original score or is it...

Yeah. Well, there's a Nirvana song in it that plays like a big role, but there's this one song and Batman is like, it's like when he's walking out of like a shadowy tunnel and it's like his footsteps along with this music

and it was like, holy shit. I've never seen this tonight. He's... Yeah, it's really... I mean I mean it's too long it's 2.56 you know when people are like that movie's 3 hours and it's like 2.35 this is a full 3 hours and there's a spot in the middle where I'm like I checked my clock my phone and I was like

it was 2 hours in I was like I have another hour of this but right in that moment it picks back up so for me it was a lull but then it like i think they did that badass car scene like right after that so it went up so here uh he's an awesome batman he's a bad bruce wayne i think he's like the nerdy fucking like zach bruce wayne so uh he's that that i didn't like cat woman is is zoe kravitz she's so hot they are i thought my only critique of that was that they were kind of stuck between doing michelle pfeiffer cat woman

where she used she has these like corny jokes kind of like at one point he's like don't ruin your life and she's like i got nine of them honey it was like, but then other times she's dead ass serious. So I was like, kind of, which one is it? But that's kind of how Catwoman goes. The Riddler is fucking unbelievable. What's that dude's name? I forgot it. Paul Dano.

He's Clitzy from Girl Next Door. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I know him from some other fuck. He plays some fucked up characters. Do you remember Prisoners? Oh, yeah. Hugh Jackman beats him with an inch of his life.

Who was our ATI? Oh, that was Andy Haynes. Remember that? Yeah. If you could beat up one celebrity who would it be? Let's get that clip back out there. I'm trying to find this fucking movie.

Maybe I'm misremembering it it's like him and like another guy who looks like him and they're just like weird murderers or something like that wait are you talking about Swiss Army Man it's him and Harry Potter and Harry Potter's a corpse no I know that one Paul Dano's in that

is it Dano he's also in Love and Mercy I've seen a lot. Paul Dano's in that? Yeah. Is it Dano? Dano, Dano. He's also in Love and Mercy. I've seen a lot of Paul Dano movies. Which I did think he... You know what is funny? They live across a lake from each other. Maybe I'm thinking of a different guy. But the...

I did see a quote from him where he talked about being his character, which is the Riddler, right? Yeah. And he's talking about how he gets so wrapped up in it that he couldn't sleep. I don't know. I'd probably just keep that one to myself after Heath Ledger.

Yeah. Yeah. I also, it's like... Heath Ledger, Jack Nicholson? Yeah, a lot of people have said it. But Heath Ledger also was just... He's on a bunch of drugs. He's a drug addict, right?

He's on a shit ton of downers. And he wasn't... He was filming a new movie, and they said that. I feel like this is a... I think that was marketing that they tied it to The Dark Knight for some lore. I honestly would not... We only

talk about this with Batman, with the Joker and shit. There are other horrible roles out there. Way worse than that. Way worse than a real. You play a real life murderer, a real life rapist and shit. And it's like, they're fine.

Yeah. I always loved that Anthony Hopkins role. It was just like, I don't fucking know. I just act and I just like, go home. But this, I think,

I think who else said it once? Fucking, who's in, guess who's coming to dinner or whatever it is. Is that Sidney Poitier? Yeah, Sidney Poitier.

And someone was talking about something. I forget what it was. And they were talking about how hard they were trying to find this character and become this character. And he just said, darling, have you thought about acting? Yeah. It's like, just pretend, dude. Not to say that acting is easy, but if you can do it,

if you can do it well well you should be able to just that's why I always kind of get like like if you can act are you ever like if I can act I would also act like for the public

when I wasn't even doing a movie oh yeah yeah yeah it's like is George Clooney really cool or does he just like know how to be a cool guy and act that way

you know what I mean that's what we ran into with Mark Paul Gossett yeah yeah when he was like I'm not cool I'm like does he just know how to be a cool guy and act that way? You know what I mean? That's what we ran into with Mark Paul Gossett. Yeah, yeah. When he was like, I'm not cool. I'm like, but you know exactly how to be cool, so just do that. There was a Jim Carrey clip that just went viral where he's like, Jim Carrey is a character. I want you people to like him.

He's like, what do you mean? But also, I don't. Also, he's very. He's an asshole. Is he? I don't find him to be endearing at all. I think he's very cocky. I think he's been a lot more political lately.

Ever since he kind of became a recluse for a while. Yeah, that girl killed herself. That was weird. Yeah, there was a lot of really dark shit around him. Ever since then, he's been a little touchy. Yeah, he's been a little... I might be prisoner of the moment, but if you told me the Riddler was your favorite villain, I would not have a problem with that.

Really? Because what I do think, I won't say it's a better performance, because what you're doing with the Joker is you're playing this creature almost, whereas the Riddler is just a crazy dude. But the story is much better told i thought like the riddler uh the joke is just like i'm a fucking crazy person and you know every time you do start to get his origin story it always changes with you know what i mean like this was like there's a reason why and they told it very well and it like all kind of comes together so i thought the riddler was incredible i thought the biggest miss was um alfred this alfred stinks and this is fucking what's his name? I didn't even know him.

Andy Serkis. Who's that? Oh, Andy Serkis is Alfred? Yeah. Oh, I was thinking Commissioner Gordon is Jeffrey Wright. Oh, now that. He's like one of the best Gordons. Really?

Yeah. But I also just love that dude. Yeah, Jeffrey Wright. What's his name? Jeffrey Wright. Yeah, his voice is perfect for it. You know what's really funny? He calls Batman man a lot.

Like, he'll be like, you're killing me, man. What are you doing? He's like talking like casually to this fucking freak in a bat suit. It's very funny.

It is funny. He's like, we gotta get you out of here, man. Wait, who is the guy who plays? Andy Serkis. He's Caesar

in Planet of the Apes. Yeah, he's like a very talented voice actor. Well, he does everything with CGI. But I mean, come on, he's like a very talented voice actor. He does everything with CGI. But I mean, come on, that's not a big deal. But no, he also was in Black Panther.

He's been in a ton of stuff. I thought he was... Not even him. He was on camera for like five minutes. It's not a big deal. Which usually... And then I just... Colin Farrell...

Just doesn't look like Colin Farrell. It's just like... Why didn't they just get a guy who looks like that instead of making Colin Farrell dress up like a different human? Colin Farrell, there's videos of him talking about it. He's like, I got to go into a Starbucks for the first time. And he's like, man, they treat you a lot different. Oh, yeah.

Oh, shit. I mean, look at that. That's fucking insane. And I actually didn't remember it when I watched the credits. Yeah. Oh, that's the other thing. Do not wait for the post credits. It's so stupid.

Oh, don't they just tease? I saw Clem's video saying, like, don't wait for it. Don't they just tease, like, the website that, like, has all the Riddler shit on it? I mean, I honestly, I guess I don't want to spoil it, but it's just words on a screen. The TikTok kids will figure that out. Yeah, it's dumb. And it's, like, you know, 10 minutes of credits. It's a long wait.

But it isn't, like, I don't think of, and this is what I was going to say about Paul, Dano, whatever. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe this is the point. I don't think of Colin Farrell as like a great enough thespian to be like, we'll transform him, but we need like his acting. I wouldn't think so either. But I'm also wondering, Paul Dano and him,

do you reach a point where if you've been around long enough, you are a good enough actor? Obviously, some people are good, some people are bad. But these are guys, we've watched them, Colin Farrell and all his bad B movies.

We've seen Girl Next Door. Great B movies. Great B movies. We've seen Girl Next Door. Great B movies. Great B movies. We've seen Girl Next Door. But, like, eventually you get a nod to do, like, a fucking role, you know? I'm going to be very insulting. I would have thought of Paul Dano as a great actor and Colin Farrell as not one because one's attractive and one isn't. Yeah.

And it's like – But I almost think the opposite. Wait, what are you saying? Wait, you're saying that he, that Paul Dano is... In order to be successful in Hollywood and not be crazy hot, you have to be really talented. Got it. Okay, then we're on the same page.

Well, and that's why this role, I mean, he is awesome. He is not ugly. What's really cool about this role, I shouldn't say cool, it's realistic what goes on. awesome. He is not ugly. What's really cool about this role, I shouldn't say cool, it's realistic what goes on. And it's like, I hope somebody doesn't do this.

I mean, actually, I shouldn't say that. It kind of like already kind of does happen in this world. It's just like radicalized crazy shit that goes on. But it's fucking awesome. If it was two and a half, I would be a little bit more happy. You know what was a little bit weird because batman is like anti-killing people yeah in that car chase that we've all seen so it's not spoiler alert i mean there must have been like a thousand people dead

they got a fucking entire highway explodes into fire which that was real they actually ran that car through a giant fireball yeah all that shit's very i almost wish they didn't. I know you've got to hype the movie in some regards, but if I didn't see that until the movie, when he comes out of the fire, and then when he sees him walking towards him, so dope. One of the reasons I think I need to see it again to give it an honest review,

because right about at that moment, I went to one of those theaters where they bring you out food, and it was right then that a waiter knocked in a full water right into my lap. Oh, that sucks. That's going to ruin your time. This is what I would text you guys about. In full KFC Radio fashion, I just think, can I get more napkins?

I was like, I'm in the middle of the movie. I'm not going to get up and leave. That should be like, you know, refund me everything. Yeah, no, I definitely probably could still hit him up, but I was like... Full lap wet the whole time? In the movie, there's like another hour left, like I said, so you're just sitting there with your piss pants.

I was like, I'm not going to stand up. I'm going to block the people behind me. By the time you're walking out, did it just look like you pissed your pants? By that time, it dried. Yeah, I was going to say, it is a long enough movie to hear.

But yeah, I fell asleep. Really? I fell asleep for about 30 minutes. Because you didn't like it or what? I was just like halfway, two hours and 50 minutes. About a two hour mark, I was like, wow. That's exactly when I looked at my phone because I was like, where are we going here?

And then they do this scene at MSG that I think is like, I almost think in their mind, they were like, we want to have our blowing up Heinz Field moment. We want to do a big spectacle. And it looks cool. But at that point in the movie, it was kind of like, why are we doing this now? That's one of those ones that could have just cut all that. Yeah. But I think it looked awesome.

And like it was like, holy shit. But I was like, this is kind of strange to do it right now. I mean, there was definitely the part of criticisms. But I like I also think you can, you you can say what you don't like about a movie and still fucking love it. I would watch it again right now, even though it's three hours and some of the things. You don't have to love every single aspect of a movie to like it.

But I'm super pumped for this hopeful trilogy. Are they doing a trilogy or are we just assuming that? Yes. So they announced a trilogy. They're also doing three spinoff shows. They're doing The Penguin. Colin Farrell's getting his own Penguin show. You can't do spinoffs.

You can't announce spinoffs before you do the first thing. Yeah. You know? They announced that. There's an Arkham Asylum show. Then there's a Gotham PD show. They already kind of did that with the dude from the OCO we talked to. Yeah, Gotham.

Which people liked. Gotham which people liked. Yeah. What it also is cool about this one is it's like crime oriented to like real life drugs and mob and yeah. Yeah.

Like corrupt. That's what we're saying. He's like he I think I think Matt Reeves said a statement where it was like something like people forget that

Batman is the world's greatest detective detective. Yeah. Yeah. Detective. Right. So he's doing detective work. Right. He, yeah, they definitely do that where like he like looks around the crime scene

and he's picking up more than the average cop. At the very, very beginning, he's like doing a voiceover and he's like, he says something like, you know, they're afraid they're going to see me in the shadows, but I am the shadows. And I was like, oh fuck, we're in trouble here like this if it's gonna like this the whole time i don't know about that but then it like they do a good job of

balancing that kind of like almost cheesy corny batman thing so dope movie i still gotta see jackass i got i went to see batman before i saw jackass part of me was like can i just i'm just gonna peel off right here go see jackass dude i've done that before that's like that's my move yeah go to a different movie and yeah go to the one you really want to see. I got to go see that next. The lines were out of control. The lines were bad, yeah? Yeah, Batman was nuts. The theater I went to was probably playing in like five different rooms,

and I still missed all the credits. I saw a headline today, and I've since seen other headlines that corrected it, but it was like the Batman does six million dollars in Korea as box office is still weak or something like that. And then... That would surprise me. That was like, Batman did 134 million dollars. It was like DC's biggest release in a decade. It's gotta be.

There's no way this didn't do good, I don't think. Yeah, 128 million. Second biggest. You know what? By the way... I don't know why. Why would you even report on what it did in Korea? Who gives a fuck about Korea? We need to drop. I think it's still in complete lockdown. I have no idea what I'm talking about.

I was like a narrator in your own brain, like correcting. It's amazing. Why would you say that? Bro, we need to drop pandemic now it's not i'm declaring the end of the pandemic it's over the pandemic's over we're just going to movies again like that's that's bullshit to compare it to like some other movie that came out in like march of last year yeah like those, there were people who were trying to have you go to the movies like

during the peak of this shit. It's not the pandemic era anymore. I mean like, I think that is actually pretty fair to say. Like you can't compare this to other pandemic eras. How long are we going to call it the pandemic era? Like you know what the first one back was? You know what this is?

This is two pauses in a row. What is this going to be? A pandemic forever? This is really unfair to like Fast and Furious. Oh yeah, exactly. I think Fast was the first movie I saw back in theaters.

And I would have gone back pretty quickly. Can you try to find like, I guess, pandemic era movie gross box office, something like that.

But when I went to Fast and Furious, it was still mass, like separate seats. Right, right. A fraction of the people filled. I don't think you could sit next to the person you went with.

You're right. That's what I mean. Like you probably had like half capacity. And I mean, there's just no way you can compare 100. You do $138 million in the movie theater for a weekend. There's nothing wrong with the movie. We're not in an era. Right.

That's like what fucking like Harry Potter did. That's what Aquaman did Adrian Grenier's Aquaman I was about to say I don't know if you should compare it to Aquaman but the fake Aquaman you see what Doug Ellen's doing I did not

Charlie Sheen is going to be in a TV show that I think they play themselves or something it's Connelly and Dylan are in it and, uh, and, um, Dylan are in it and Charlie Sheen and Doug Allen's like the creator. I think he like funded it himself.

Um, quiet place was the big one, right? Like a quiet place came out, like quiet place in theaters is a very different thing than, than fucking this Batman. Give me a break. So I think I went,

I went quiet place. Then I went fast and Furious. So I don't know what Charlie Sheen for the kids who don't know we're all over the place on this podcast real quick. We're going to get to wheels and doors in a minute. We're going to get back on track

with the nonsense debate. Charlie Sheen was he was like the first person to get cancelled he didn't get cancelled it was just like the first person to get cancelled that like he didn't get cancelled it was just like the world agreed like alright that's enough yeah like you're out of fucking control

like he almost cancelled himself it's not like he wanted to make movies and people wouldn't he just was like okay I'm gonna go on the sidelines for now and we were like good idea he was the tiger blood winning remember when he just lived with like a bunch of porn stars? Yeah.

Like, dude, I remember, bro, oh my god. Porn stars hanging out with a guy who has AIDS is a bad idea. Who was that? Oh, Brie Olsen. You know, he doesn't have AIDS. He doesn't have AIDS. Yeah, yeah. Actually, I don't even know if that, like, does he have any of it confirmed?

Like, I thought that was like, not. That's what Tiger Blood was. That was the question. It was like, don't trip HIV. And he was like, I have tiger blood was i was the question was like don't trip hiv he's like i have tiger blood which is great spin what an answer what an answer i don't fucking know doctors can't figure it out um they probably couldn't they're probably like we've never seen this in a human the uh the winning when i i i like found out about brie olsen through him I think

right because that was also the grunt girl right no anyway keep going different girl I think but I went to her

Twitter page and she had a tweet that was like one of the most offensive like I as a horny 21 year old

or whatever I was was like Jesus I'm not jerking off to you that's fucking ridiculous. That's the kind of girls that, I mean, Charlie Sheen was waking up

like, I mean, 24 seven, just like, and he's like, drugs, sex and rock and roll, like full blown

out of control. That, like for people who don't even, what interview was that? Was it with like Oprah or something? Was it like a big, no, I don't think so. But you know what I mean?

Was it the interview the world has been waiting for? Or was he just talking to Entertainment Weekly? I think it was just like... Yeah, I think it was someone basically... Because we... That was one of those moments for blogging that was like, there's catchphrases and quotes and moments floating around here like a motherfucker. Remember the first shirt we put out was the wrong one.

The first shirt we put out, I think Dave wanted Tiger Blood. Oh, really? And so we made the exact same shirt with that like, good old blue. Dave must have always loved that shirt. It was just his blue face. The shirt was white. Oh, okay, yeah. So the face was

blue. And I think it said like, I have Tiger Blood. Because Dave thought that was going to be the big quote from that. And then okay, yeah. So the face was blue. And I think it said, like, I have tiger blood. Because Dave thought that was going to be the big quote from that. And then, like, very quickly after that, we realized everyone was saying winning, and we just switched it. But it was cool to see, like, how, you know, like, Dave had, like, a radar for what works and doesn't work on t-shirts and, like,

happened to pick wrong, but then the internet decided and we just pivoted. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that was one of our first... I think Dave still says that shirt...bolt of money. Kept our school afloat. Yeah, like it funded basic... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Yes. God, I would actually... That's a great throwback now. Should we just sell that again? We didn't get C&D'd or anything on that, I don't think, because he was just like... He was in a fog for like six years. I was just about to say a heroin fog.

We're about to catch it. He's going to wake up. You know what we should make is his and yours, like those bowling shirts of his. Yeah, yeah. We should make one that's like... On fire shirts. Yeah.

I mean, he made that shit popular on Two and a Half Men. And people do not understand. He was a fucking megastar, dude. I think he was getting like a couple of million... Describes his drug use more than anyone could survive like i genuinely think that like if you okay you know what you don't need to lie to the doctors and when what's his truth like like when you're like you know like how much you drink like oh i don't know like two or three drinks a night like i've been told that they automatically triple it i don't know if there's truth to that, but I've been told by someone

in the medical field. So when Charlie Sheen says I have like 10 drinks a night, they're like, okay, we'll make that an even 30. And that's on top of the heroin. You know what? We'll pivot. We'll do top five people who can just do the most drugs in the world of all time. We'll do that

in a minute. But first, Wheels and Doors. Wheels and Doors is brought to you by HelloFresh, brought to you by John Henry Feidelberg, HelloFresh, the most underpaid spokesman of all time. And when I say underpaid, I mean zero paid. The greatest advertiser to never be compensated for a product ever john henry fuddleburg and hello fresh and that's how you know oh wait well that's how you know that john's a bad businessman and that

he fucking loves hello fresh because he eats it and he cooks it and he reps it and he does it all for not only for free for for for cost he he still pays for his own hello fresh which is just nuts but when you're getting things like beef tenderloin and cheese fondue, miso sesame shrimp and bacon ramen, when you're getting that, I understand why John pays for it. Yeah, I got Italian chicken over lemony spaghetti tonight. Done. Meatballs with bulgogi sauce.

I don't know how to pronounce that word. Bulgogi? Bulgogi. Bulgogi sauce is real good stuff. It's like an Asian. You got some chili. Bulgogi. Bulgogi sauce is real good stuff. It's like an Asian... When I made it last, there is some chili like, not pepper, but chili

sauce in there. So it's got a little spice to it. But it's almost like Hank's barbacoa. It's more barbecue than spicy, but there's some spice in it. And then the one pan pork. No, no. What is he? Buffacoa. Buffacoa, yeah. Barbacoa is like a meat or something like that. Buffacoa is a great idea by him.

Yeah, one of his best. Yeah. One of his best. And he's got a lot of good ideas. He's got a lot of good ideas. He's like, he's feast or famine. Yeah. He's Adam Dunn.

He's home runner strikeout. So you get all these amazing dishes delivered right to you. They only take 20 minutes to cook, and the recipes come. You know the deal, man. Come on. You know the deal by now. You know what we're talking about with HelloFresh. You know how easy it is to cook. You know the deal, man. Come on. You know the deal by now. You know what we're talking about with HelloFresh. You know how easy it is to cook.

You know that you don't have to go shopping. You know that all the ingredients are pre-measured, so you just dump it all in, stir it around for 20 minutes, and you get yourself a meal. And you know, you know that your boys are going to hook you up with a... They did it? They fucking did it. They did it! They fucking did it.

16 free goddamn meals. Sixteen! They fucking did it. Let's get the calculator out. And every time we say it's like saving a thousand dollars! It's gotta be up to two thousand now! They fucking did it. I think this time they probably have officially crossed the thousand dollar threshold.

I... I... I didn't think they could do it. This is like Jurassic Park, folks. This is like, I didn't think it was humanly possible, but here they are. Hello, Fresh. Do you know when it started?

They gave you $1,800. $1,800! By our math, you're saving $1,800 a month on dinner. That's right. I don't think it is. Did you just multiply by 100, but it took you that long to do $1,800 a month on dinner. That's right. I don't think it is. Did you just multiply by 100, but it took you that long to do 1,800? No, I did 50 times 30. No, I did 30.

Oh, I went up to 50. Hang on. 30 times 36. Yeah. Yeah. 1,080. That's it. I thought you said 1,800.

I did say 1,800 at first. Now it's 1,800. It's 11,000. I mean, when we started, it was like KFC 4 for four free meals. And then they've just been upping it and upping it. And I keep thinking, all right. I truly thought we were done at 12. And then 14, I was like, damn, these guys are crazy.

And then 16, I was like, oh, they're doing it for the people. And I'll be honest. They're for the people. They weren't even at 16 for that long. No. They ramped it right up to 18. I mean, it must be one of these things where they're just making money hand over fist doing it this way. So, I mean, we'll throw a party, a HelloFresh party at 20.

20 free meals is insane. That's just like two for one at that point. It's crazy. So, here's the deal. You go to HelloFresh.com slash oh i read wrong it's still 16 shit no i thought that was an eight my eyes are going i'm 37 years old just dub me in going 16 every time 16 for emails go to hellofresh.com so all right hellofresh here's the deal now you have to go to 18 i look like asshole. At least just do like one week where it's KFC 18. Because it is, it's KFC

16. HelloFresh.com slash KFC 16. Use code KFC 16. Get 16 free meals and the three free gifts. Whatever those may be. Maybe they're... So there's a whole new kind of seltzer or candy or not candy, but I've had

kind of like a I guess a grain bowl of sorts. You kind of just pop that in the microwave. It's very easy. Oh, so it's just more food. Yeah. So that counts like two meals. 16.

It goes to 18. There you go. Hellofresh.com slash KFC16. This has been floating around on the internet, and I said I'm going to wait. I haven't even allowed my brain to really think about this yet because this is what we do here. This is like, this is right up KFC radio alley. And I, I just want to like one of these days, actually it doesn't really work now because we are like content creators.

Like if we made up one of these questions, it would be like, all right, that's just what we do for work, you know? But like somewhere there's like one dude who who was arguing with his friends at a bar and tweeted about it, and it goes viral. And he's like, I'm the guy who asked this question. Imagine being the guy responsible for this. Because it went like wildfire, as they always do. We did chairs versus trees.

Yes. Chairs and trees was a big one. Trees and long shot, right? I think that's what we determined. That certainly was my guess. No, we did chairs versus people. People is what it was. And now I think chairs. We did chairs

versus people? Yeah. There was a trees at some point, wasn't there? I don't remember that one. It was definitely chairs versus people. But these things, whatever it is, you could do a ton of argument. It's like bottle caps versus fucking shoelaces. But it's got to be the right two things to really captivate people. And you know when you got a live one and it just spreads through the Internet all of a sudden.

And people, I mean, especially with us, everybody sends it to you, which is we always appreciate it. But also these people are like, I got one for you. And it's like, oh, you do. Not the 2,000 people in my mentions who have been saying this for the last 72 hours. But wheels versus doors went viral. So let's do it. Now, I would have said, when I was sitting in my apartment. Yeah, what's your initial guess?

For some reason, when I was sitting in my apartment, I went doors. No questions asked. And Betsy, no. But then... Wheels. It's got to be wheels. Wheels, for sure. I don't think I've gone outside yet.

And then once I went outside, and I just realized the sheer amount of wheels. But also, like, because, all right, so here's the deal. In Manhattan, there's more wheels. But in rural America, there's probably more doors. I don't think so. I think in a house... In a...

Oh, fuck. Here's the deal, too. In Manhattan, it's tough because you've got the high-rises. You've got a lot of doors. Okay, but what about this? Let me count the doors in my apartment right now. One, two, three, You got a lot of doors. Okay, but what about this? I'm thinking about... Let me count the doors in my apartment right now. Okay. Okay?

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen... Bro, where do you live in fucking... Eighteen. Batman's castle? What is... Nineteen. Nineteen?

Twenty. Oh, you're counting the whole building. I'm counting cabinets bro cabinets are doors okay okay it took me a second I was like where does he go

the riddler over here I have over 20 doors in my apartment cabinets is a good dishwasher 21 okay so that actually changes things what about my

cabinets is a good thing I didn't think of but I still feel like when you do wheels and you you know how many things like engineering wise have like wheels inside them gears and thing I didn't think of. But I still feel like when you do wheels, and you know how many things, like, engineering wise, have, like, wheels inside them?

Gears and ball bearings and things that are, like, spinning. I think that's not in the spirit of the rule of the game. I think that those aren't... If it's a wheel, like a ball bearing... I'm thinking about these chairs. Yeah, man. There's wheels everywhere.

Like, if someone if someone like grinds i don't think that comes with it i think it has to be able to roll it can't be a sphere because that's different from a wheel i think that's like a ball like a full sphere is like a ball not a wheel yeah but i think it has to be able to roll like on its own like like you can't have just like a gear that's round yeah because that's like it doesn't just roll on itself but i think you know every car you have is going to have at least have four uh all sorts of engineering every toy every toy car oh toy car you get toy i mean you get doll houses and shit with doors too but like toys you're gonna get a fuck ton of think about all

those little model cars all the little matchbox cars every every truck has multiple sets of wheels when i mentioned rural america now farm equipment tons of wheels tons of that shit almost exclusively wheel i didn't i didn't think about cabinets because that is going to be the only thing that really multiplies doors like exponentially i think is like cabinets right because you have you know you have you have bedroom doors and like in like outside you know doors to the inside and outside, right? But are there any doors? Doors aren't doors, right? I would not say that.

Dresser drawers? I wouldn't either. I think a door needs to pull open. But are there any? But all these four wheels we're talking about, all those cars have doors. True. But they're not, I think, so on average, you're going to get four wheels and probably four doors, but you have two-door coupes. You have trucks that have more wheels than doors.

You have, you know. Yeah, but I think that comes pretty close to balancing out. When you, so every car. Oh, you're thinking that. Every car is a wash. Okay, yeah. Right? I mean, it's not, but you're right.

Like, I don't think you can call it a wash because, like I said, there are trucks that have double sets of wheels and cars that only have two doors. No, but I'm saying every car, every sedan is a wash. Yeah. Well, but I guess, you know, like I said, like inside, if you have wheels and shit, like gears and things that we're going to count. But I don't think we can count those because we don't. Like, what are the gears inside a car? I don't know. I'm just sure there are.

Okay, fine. But I'm sure there are, like, you know, wheel type mechanisms inside of things i would get i don't think anything re-roller okay um so i think every sedan and then so so yeah i guess i guess there are more types of doors because if you cut out cars i mean bikes are going to be a big winner. There's no doors at all. Bikes are big. You have a ton of bicycles. You have a ton of motorcycles.

You have a ton of four-wheelers. You have a ton of unicycles, four-wheelers. Roller skates. Roller skates, roller blades. Good one, Jackie. Welcome back. Finally contributing. Yeah, so I'm there contributing. Those are big. If you want to say cars are a wash,

which maybe not, but bikes and all the other transportation versus all your actual doors. Do you think you need to include cabinets and all that shit to outweigh bikes and four-wheelers?

Yes. Can I also say, the definition of a wheel is like moving something. Yes, you've got to be able to move it. Did everybody see my tweet about my... No, Jackie. Okay. Must have been a glitch in my notifications.

Usually I see all of them. I usually have my notifications on and then I usually write them all out and put them on my fucking bedroom wall. I see all of them. I usually have my notifications on and then I usually write them all out and put them on my fucking bedroom wall. I miss you guys zero. Well, this is like, this just ends the conversation right here. Doors have handles. Doors have

door handles. Door handles have wheels. Sliding doors have wheels to slide. Wait. Was this one of your rap lyrics? No. This have wheels to slide? Wait. Was this one of your rap lyrics? No. Or is this supposed to be an actual argument? Everybody thinks everything is.

Doors have door handles. That's correct. I guess not all of them. Sometimes you just push the door. Door handles have wheels? That's the one I'm going to have a point of contention with right there. Like you think like a door knob that you turn? They don't.

They don't. But they don't. They don't. Why do you know that? Prove that. Have you ever heard? Well, we can't just start saying things. Like John said, I can tell you the inside of my engine has a door.

Why have you put together a door handle? Wait, why? Wait, hang on, hang on. Where is there a wheel on that door handle? There's inside. There's not. The inner workings. It's not.

That's not. No, yes. Yes, no. No. Why do you think that? I'm not going to say yes or no. Somebody break open a door. Everything that moves pretty much is a wheel.

So that's kind of what I was saying. I do think mechanically. It's like a latch. It's two bars. Where do you think the wheel is in there? I guess I don't technically know. You have to become a parent. Yeah.

But no, but I'm with her on that where I'm saying that, like, I do think, like, wheels, when you talk about, yeah, let's see. Where is your wheel here? Yeah. No wheel. Well, that's one. That's one. I'm talking about the other doorknob.

Okay. So sure, that's the patent for the doorknob. Look, there's the wheel. All these are wheels. She's thinking about the... I do get what she's saying. She's looking at the washers. She's looking at the...

No, no, no. She's looking at the big washers. She's looking at the interior knob. I was looking at moving plate and rows. Well, a cylinder is a wheel. That's what, you know. I don't think a cylinder is a wheel. So what you're looking at is the actual door knobs.

That's what you think is the wheel. I got to stop making arguments. I don't know. That's the only wheel-shaped object up there. Yeah. So it's a door wheel-shaped object up there. Yeah. So it's a doorknob is what you're thinking. Okay, well, even if you cancel the doorknob theory, there's a lot of wheels in the world.

Okay. Okay, so just as you say it. I'm thinking, like, I'm trying to see because like when you look at a wheel is one of those things what's it called where you use like the pulley

and the inverted plane and the machines or something like that what's it called basic machines what is it so yeah machines or something like that? What's it called? Basic machines. What is it? So, yeah, I'm just thinking that means that they've got to be used...

Actually, let's start this by just doing the definition of wheel. Because maybe it does have to carry weight. Maybe it does have to move a thing, you know what I mean? Okay, so being literal about the wheel, it says a circular object that revolves on an axle which i guess makes sense but like i was thinking of something

i guess you know most wheels that move anything will have something that goes between yeah but maybe so maybe there aren't examples of things that like where it's in mechanics or part of an engine or part of whatever. I guess most wheels are going to have some sort of thing running through it. I think most wheels that aren't inside doorknobs probably would. One inside doorknobs. One of the crazier things.

What? Sorry. I could tell that one wasn't heard. Here's my thing. If you were to, like, those big tires that strong men flip over, it's like that's not a wheel because that would just be like a tire is a part of a wheel, but it would need to have the thing going through it.

Well, yeah, but how many of those are there? Very few. I was just trying to think if there are things that aren't necessarily on a car or on transportation that, you know. Yeah, I don't think that changes my view of what a wheel is very much. That has to have an axle through it. I think that's what I was counting the whole time. So, full disclosure, we stopped this argument and then did an interview and now we're coming back to it.

So I'm trying to remember where we're at. I mean, cabinets and all that shit. We thought cars kind of washed out. Canceled out. But then we remembered bikes and motorcycles and four-wheelers and all that shit. Toys will probably still cancel out. Whatever exists

car-wise in real life also exists in toy form. So that can kind of cancel out. A lot of canceling out, which is why it's a good question. Because it's about that. I'm going to go with doors. Let's see a poll of the room. What do you think? Doors. Wheels.

I'm on wheels. Were you on doors before? I was doors, and I went to wheels, and now I'm back to doors. I think doors because most cars have four wheels, but they also probably have four doors on those cars. Right, but you've got to have two doors. You're going to have trucks.

You're going to have 18-wheelers. I think a gear is a wheel, too. Huh? A gear is a wheel. See, that's what I don't know. I don't think a gear is because that's combining two machines like we were talking about. But if you have a gear running and you have some sort of...

It's a wheel shape. If you have like a gear inside of a machine that has some sort of, you know, axle or something going through it, then like that's a wheel. There's like 35 wheels in this room. Just on these chairs. Right. Yeah, I'm leaning towards wheels. All right. That's a good selling point because now you're doing the whole office. just on these chairs. Right. Yeah, I'm leaning towards wheels. All right, that's a good selling point because now you're doing the whole office.

But rolling chairs is a good thing, but it's still kind of niche when you, like... But not in office buildings. But also, all right, office buildings, you're going to have a shit ton of cabinets. You're going to have a shit ton of... Not that many cabinets. You're probably right, yeah,

because one chair is going to get you like six. I'm on team wheels. But sometimes when you extrapolate these things, like, well, what about buildings? Or what about companies? That's also going to mean a lot of doors, too. I'm just comparing it here. And obviously everything is a very small world view.

But Barstool Sports, I think, has infinitely more chairs and doors. Wheels and doors. And I think that's going to go through the whole office with that. There's going to be way, way more. Yeah, that's probably a good – like a lot of these things do seem to cancel out or at least eat into each other. But something like office chairs is not going to be balanced out by office cabinets. And when you think about the sheer fucking volume of offices in cities yeah even in fucking regular that's even that their offices in the suburbs they're yep i think i think office chairs might might be the

the the because we were getting a lot of balancing out but i don't know i don't know what balances out office office office chairs wheels so and just to be clear a door is including hinges sliding revolving that makes sense and they say okay is a building room vehicle or a cupboard so like those are like the four places you're going to find it that's weird that they put that in the dictionary this is very helpful right yeah a building a room a vehicle So the vehicles probably cancel out. The cupboards are a... So yeah, okay, here's what it is. That's a very clear pronunciation of cupboard. Cupboard.

It's cupboard. Cupboard. What did I say, cupboard? You're saying cupboard. Because I say cabinets. I don't say cupboard. I say... Cupboard?

You're saying like C-U-P-P-A-R-D, cupboard? I'm saying cupboard. Cupboard. You say... I'm saying cupboard. That's how it should be pronounced is cupboard. Cupboard. You're cuppered? I'm saying cupboard. Cupboard. You say, that's how it should be pronounced, is cupboard. You're saying cuppered. I'm saying cupboard. You're saying

cuppered. Cupboard, yeah. You're saying cuppered. Mine should be that way. I think it is. You're stupid, but it's the correct, like that's, mine should be, it should be my way. It's spelled your way, but there are plenty of words we don't pronounce how they spell. Right, but I'm saying, I'm not saying cuppered, but I am hitting the P.

So it should be cuppered. It's a silent P. You're not even doing silent P. You're switching the B in for a P. Correct. That's how a silent P is pronounced. No, it's adding in a B. No, that's how silent P's are pronounced with a B.

Is that a joke I'm not getting? No, just a lie. It should be cuppered. Cupbird. Cupboard. Cupboard. It's a cabinet, motherfucker. No, I might say cupboards.

You probably do. Bougie ass. Really? I feel like cupboards are like... It's in the cupboard. Go get the china from the cupboard. feel like cupboards are like, it's in the cupboard. Go get the china from the cupboard. We're having supper. No, I think I say cupboard.

That's what it feels like. What's the cupboard? Cupboard. Cupboard is crazy. That sounds like you should be like, Ma, go to the cupboard. Yeah, I wouldn't even call it bougie. It's just what I say, but I don't think it has a bougie word. So there's two different things.

The pronunciation sounds like white trash. Cupboard. Calling it that over cabinet feels bougie to me. It's in the cupboard. Go to the cupboard. I feel like George Washington called it a cupboard. I feel like it was old school. That dude with wooden teeth, he was bougie as shit, man.

George Washington was bougie. He was a king, bro. Yeah, he had wooden teeth, but... You know what the other people had? No teeth, motherfucker. You had to be pretty bougie. He was a king, bro. Yeah, he had wooden teeth, but... Yeah, you know how bougie you gotta be? No teeth, motherfucker. You gotta be pretty bougie to be like, I've been king for eight years, and I'm a little tired of it.

It's just so wild that he... You really don't... You can't really even understand and put into context what it meant to be six feet tall back then. That's crazy. That would be like if we were eight feet tall. No, probably even more.

Really? Like everybody was like, you know, it would be like more like if we were walking around like eight feet tall. I mean, everyone was like five foot nothing. He had like a full like foot over everybody. He was 6'2"? 6'2 back in the day when everyone was like five feet tall is insanity. Imagine if you had 14 inches on the average person.

That'd be like running around like 7'6 or whatever. That's like your mid-7 feet. That's crazy. Yeah, that's a little much. And you're not like a basketball player. Imagine if our president was like 7'7 or something. It'd be nuts. Usually those guys just end up being freaks.

That's the problem. He probably was like, yeah, I run this shit. It's like, why? Because I'm huge. Who's taller than me? That's basically what it is. That's how guys get chosen to have sex now. That's how we chose kings back then.

You can have sex with anyone here. Alright, you can run it. So here's the deal. Bottom line, what it comes down to in the cupboards. Cars cancel out. Cars cancel out. Cabinets is a clear

win for wheels. Cabinets is a clear win for doors. Yes, yes. But then I think buildings and rooms with various things in them is the big win for wheels. Yes. Because a room is going to get you like one door. You know what I mean?

But so I think there's two. There's like two X factors in favor of wheels. One in form of the cover. I completely agree. That's why I've switched back and forth a time or two. Final answer. Final answer. Wheels.

Agreed. Okay. Final answer, Wheels. Agreed. Okay, top fives today in honor of Charlie Sheen is going to be top five degenerate users. It's the biggest party animal monsters the world has ever seen. It's brought to you by Movement. Movement watches, join the Movement. We just had a meeting talking about the KFC Radio brand, and we went through all these charts and all this information.

We were talking about some of our sponsors and just how movement has just still been there, down to ride year after year after year. No matter what, you can always count on movement being a part of KFC Radio. And it almost kind of translates to the way they are around for the consumer, too. It's like every summer you want to get a new watch, some new shades. You want to look fresh with the accessories. Every year that you got, your eyes are strained from looking at the screen.

Every time you need that, they're just there for you. They're a part of the family here, and they provide good accessories and products that you need as well. And the movement's only grown to just be like a fucking steamroller. I mean, it's a juggernaut now. They were a movement back when we first started, and now they're in like 200 different countries and are a $100 million plus company. Pretty nice.

Yeah, pretty fucking nice um started with us like a thousand dollar ad read and now they're worth like 100 million dollars we probably should have just made our own watches shout out to you guys though you know what you're doing go to mvmt.com slash kfc get 15 off your first order today plus free shipping uh and free returns if for some reason you don't like anything or size aren't right or you want to return it that's mvmt.com slash kfc top five biggest partiers in the world can i tell you something real quickly about myself yeah i'm proud of myself why because one of the least stubborn things i've ever done i upgraded or what's it called when your phone like resets was updated my phone and uh i don't like doing that because it seems like there's always like a quirk or

something wrong or i'm always seeing people complain about it so i kind of hold out for the last possible this update puts the url bar on the bottom at the bottom and i was like what the fuck is that i've never heard someone in my life be like, you know what bothers me? The URL bar is on top. We put it on the bottom. And a lot of people being like, I know it's weird. It's going to bother you.

But it makes so much more sense to put it right where your keyboard is and where you're always typing. And I'm leaving it there. And I'm trying it out. And so far, I need to get a little more used to it because I end up clicking at the top and nothing's happening. But it does make way more sense to just have it right there.

I have not updated, so I still don't have it there. It's strange that sometimes I go to click and it's just like I'm clicking nothing there. But it is one of those things that people love to bitch about and then in three days forget that it's ever a different way. That's why I'm saying I'm proud of myself because ordinarily I would have switched it back and never even done the three days.

Like one, I guess. i'm proud of myself because ordinarily i would have switched it back and never even done it uh like one i guess yeah um but also at the same time people are like somebody said to me you know you're irish like me we don't have like big hands so we need it on the bottom i'm like it's not like i'm walking around with an ipad right i can go to the top or the bottom like sometimes i have to stretch it a bit yeah i know i get it yeah and that's why ultimately but it was like you know we can't be we can't have the url bar on top we can't do that i'm pretty okay with it but uh anyway proud of myself so okay top five partiers you wanna go first uh i think you always let me go first okay i'm gonna i going to give it to you.

Defer is the word I was looking for and couldn't find. I'm going to go with... I'm sure that there's like... And I'll try to Google this as it goes on. I'm sure there's like some historical people that I don't know. You know what I mean? Some like King who like, you know, never stopped partying or something like that.

So I don't know if these are like, you know, I'm going to just, I'll go right off the bat with just Andre the giant safe pick. I know for a fact that he drank, you know, like 60 beers a night and used to drink like bottles of wine nonstop and was just such a freak specimen that he could just pollute his body with booze and women and party and shit. Like he was just, I mean, look at him.

He's just, he's just like, I'm bigger than, he's George Washington. He's just bigger than all you, so I run the show. And he was a wrestler. He's a like, but he's a gentle giant people loved him uh and just able to pollute his body with more substances than probably anybody else like again so this is it this is just to be clear on what this is we're debating here who can who can do the most drugs I think so right That's kind of what Charlie Sheen is, right? Yeah. I'm just going to say, because if it was who's the

hardest partier, I was going to pick exclusively dead people, because they did it to death. But it's like, yeah, I think that Andre the Giant consumed a lot more than some of the dead people. You know what I mean? He just didn't die from it. Yeah, well, that's just, yeah. That's a fair one.

In that case, I will go Keith Richards because it is the most cliche answer of all time. But we've been joking for 20 years. For the better part of my life, I can remember popular movies and TV shows making jokes about how Keith Richards refuses to die. And it's like, I've been around him for a long time now. And in the early 2000s, I was like, that guy, he's never gonna

die. And now it's 2022 and he's still ripping. I think he's still ripping. I don't think he's sober, right? I would imagine. He's still at least out there. He probably slowed down a little bit, but sober for a decade. But it doesn't matter.

Okay, so he went for like 70 straight years. He better be. he would be fucking dead there's like a difference between two even like wait go back to the news for a second in 2018 he cut back on his drinking I got fed up with it

that's in 2018 he took two years off of drinking he's back it's 2020, the article. It looks like he stopped in 2018. It was interesting to play sober. Bro, if you're calling it playing sober, you are a fucking madman.

So I was playing this imagination game. We were playing pretend. Playing sober is one of the most hardcore things I've ever heard. That's awesome. Are you sober? Did you stop drinking? No, I just play sober. I'm playing sober is one of the most hardcore things I've ever heard. That's awesome. To be like, yo, are you sober? Did you stop drinking? No, I just play sober. No, I'm playing sober right now.

That's so funny. I'm just playing a role. We'll be back in a couple years when this project's over. I think that's also a thing. I think Andre the Giant was just a drinker. If we're talking about what substances you can take in. I'm sure Andre the Giant had a boatload of Coke up that nose. Yeah, yeah, he probably had coke.

He's more of a drinker than a drug user. And if you're, you know. Well, that's why. He did all the coke. He did all the heroin. He did. I'm surprised you didn't go with this pick. I know what it was going to be,

and I was going to take it my next pick. Clanswoman Thompson? No. Oh, no. I'm surprised you didn't go with him. Isn't he the one who has like the. Yeah, my favorite list. I think it's fake,

but it's like one of those things that it is. But it's one of those things, if that list is fake, the real one's close enough. It's like Mark Wahlberg with his wake-up schedule. If they're even making that joke about you, you're obscene. Yeah. But yeah, his ludicrous drug routine. It is one of the all-time great viral things that I think it has been dispelled or whatever. I also forget that fucking Johnny Depp shot him out of a cannon, right?

Is that what he did? Something crazy like that, yeah. Like his ashes. The trunk of the car looked like a mobile police narcotics lab. We had two bags of grass, 75 pellets of mescaline, five sheets of acid, a salt shaker full of cocaine, and a whole galaxy of multicolored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers, and a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of Budweiser, a pint of raw ether, and two dozen amyls?

I don't even know what those are. I don't know what most of those things you just listed are. A-M-Y-L-S. I don't even know what that means. When you're doing drugs, I don't even know. A-M-Y-L-S. I don't even know what that means. When you're doing drugs, I don't even know. A-M-Y-L-S. I don't know most of the drugs you listed. That's insane.

I don't know what screamers are. I don't know what laughers are. None of that. The used by inhalation. Oh, that's like nitrous? Yeah. Whippets. He was doing whippets.

Whippets. Yeah. And you know that these guys had like, you know, these guys had Quaaludes. Poppers are literally the worst thing of all time. Yeah. The, uh, and you know that these guys had, had like, uh, you know, these guys had, poppers are literally the worst thing of all time. Yeah. I can't imagine.

Unless you're just doing it to get your fucking ass open. Oh, here. Oh, poppers. But like, I've done poppers and like, I don't,

I don't feel my ass open. I just get a really bad heady. I get a really bad head rush for like 30 seconds. I'm miserable for 30 seconds to a minute. And like, I don't sit there and shit myself. Maybe if you had a dick in your ass you'd be like, alright, that was better. I don't understand how it fucking...

I'll tell you this. When I did poppers, I felt no looser afterwards. How about this? The acclaimed journalist and founder of the gonzo journalism movement what does gonzo mean because i only know that to me yeah it's like uh it's like less scripted it's like you're i think like you're you're in the mix kind of deal oh so gonzo really is important then yeah because that dropped the whole like scripted porn nobody needs you to do the fucking pizza man yeah right, right, right. We're just going to fuck you.

I believe that's what it means. Shout out to Gonzo for sure. Yeah, Hunter S. Thompson. So who was your pick then? Who was your? Steve-O. Oh, wow. Yeah, that's a good one.

That's a great one. That was like a, he's like a death. He's like, I don't think he's like a party. I think he's like a death defying act. You know what I mean? That one picture of him, man. They have this scene in his stand-up special. I think he sold all of it on his website that he promoted on it.

And everything that's in that man's body is poison, really. He's 100% full to the gills in poison. That was hard to watch. It's amazing that he survived it. I will go with... I'll go back to the drinking. And I'll go with... Wade Boggs.

Wade Boggs? 64 beers in the cross-country flight. That's a great one. Because, again, we know that one story, and true or untrue or exaggerated, if the rumor is that you did 64 in six hours, at the very least, you did... You probably hit 50.

Yeah, 40, 50. They claim that he drank 107 in one day. So, wait, that's the same thing on a cross-country flight? That's bullshit. We know it's not 107. No, I've heard the 107. I've heard it was like 107 in like a 24-hour period because before the flight, the night before,

he was out drinking. That makes a lot more sense that it's in one day while making the cross-country flight. I think it's probably, let's go down. Yeah. So, so this one says 52 beers from Australia to England, but also the rest of that day, you know, was another 55 of them.

That's entirely possible. And I think, you know, you're playing baseball in the eighties, you're doing fucking amphetamines, you're doing Coke, you're, you're drinking more amphetamines. You're doing Coke. You're, you're drinking more than just booze. You know, you're probably, you're probably doing it all.

It's just, what a savage. It is one of the more impressive statistics you'll ever hear. Yes. Um, I will go Hemingway. Next one. Hemingway.

I think, I actually think I was misremembering too. Um, I, it was, it's Hemingway's daily routine is the viral one. Oh, okay. So the Hemingway. I actually think I was misremembering too. It's Hemingway's daily routine. It's the viral one. So Hemingway's daily routine is... Maybe I'm misremembering. Maybe it was... I know there's one for Hunter

S. Thompson. There probably is one for both. Yeah, it is Hunter S. Thompson. Hemingway, I feel like... You know what Hemingway is? Hemingway probably would look at Hunter S. Thompson and be like, only pussies count how much they actually drink. You know what I mean?

I always hated that kid in high school who would keep the tabs off of his beer or write down. I don't fucking know, man. I'm just drunk. I always say, I think counting drinks is fucked up either for you or for all the people to do of you. How about this?

Why am I in a goddamn business? Do you mind your own business? Yeah, and because it either makes you get pressured into drinking more than you want to or whatever. It's just like, and then you also always, when you reach the point where you're like uh tolerance sucks dude i remember like being like early 20s being like i wish it wasn't like

this i wish i didn't need 15 of these fucking things i would love to be a dubious queer you know fuck it i well i don't like that because i've become that and i don't you're right i don't want to be like i don't i want to be able to put some back and not have to worry about I know now I have like three glasses of wine I'm like because it's just

a time thing it's like I got to be out for like three more hours and I'm already drunk so what do I do stop altogether exactly

it is not better to be a cheap date I regret it's just less expensive never and yeah but we're talking like eight bucks beers yeah but I do remember a difference like you know I regret. It's just less expensive. Never. And yeah, but.

We're talking like eight bucks beers. Yeah, but I do remember a difference. Like, you know, some nights in like midtown Manhattan when I'm, you know, living in Hoboken trying to like party in the city for the night. And it's like, you know, if you do 10 beers and a bunch of Jager bombs and a few shots, all of a sudden the bill's like $700 when that's like your rent for the month. Fuck. The. Oh, so. S. Thompson did not drink I'm sorry Ernest Hemingway did not drink while writing

if you ever heard of someone who drank favorite drink was I'm just trying to find this thing here's the Hunter S. Thompson 3pm rise 3.05 sh shivis with morning papers dunhills what's dunhills cigarettes okay 345 cocaine so 45 minutes after waking up coke 350 another glass of shivis and another dunhill 405 first cup of coffee 415 cocaine the cocaine after the coffee after the cocaine huh 416

416 orange juice and a cigarette 430 cocaine 454 cocaine 505 cocaine 511 because he needs to pick me up coffee that's insane after doing this is all pm by. Yes. He's woken up at 3 PM. Right. So by two hours into your day, he's had two cups of coffee, three, four cigarettes, two glasses of Chivas, and five sessions of cocaine, whatever that may be, however many lines. 5.30, more ice in the Chivas. 5.45, this is my favorite, cocaine, et cetera, et cetera. What do you do in Paris to write down? I'll tell you what.

You're probably jerking off there. Trying to beat that dick? Yeah, doing that much cocaine. He's probably going to want to be jerking off at that point. I mean, that's crazy. 6 o'clock, weed, because you've got to take the edge off. Yeah, I'd say so. 705, you'd go to lunch.

Heineken, two margaritas. Coleslaweslaw a taco salad a double order of onion rings carrot cake ice cream a bean fritter hang on i'm gonna start calling a little bullshit here yes you're not eating that much food after that much cocaine no way no way another heineken cocaine for the ride home a snow cone which he poured chibis into nine o'clockclock, starts snorting cocaine seriously. Those were just little warm-ups. Now we're talking. 10 p.m., drops acid.

11 o'clock, chartreuse, cocaine, and weed. 11.30, we do another cocaine with etc. etc. That's probably sex then, actually, right? After that much cocaine, no. Maybe at the first etc. etc., he could still need a little sex a little jerking off and that much cocaine we're off sex is off the table bro midnight he begins to write 1205 to 6 a.m chartreuse cocaine grass chivas coffee heineken

clove cigarettes love clove cigarettes so much. Grapefruit, cigarettes, orange juice, gin, continuous pornographic movies. Just on a fucking loop. 6 a.m., the hot tub champagne, dove bars, and fettuccine Alfredo. That's amazing. A nice light night snack. What's Halcyon?

Halcyon is, I think it's like lewds. Quaaludes? I think. At 820, go to sleep. Legend. What an asshole. Like, what an asshole. I'd be like, yo, hey, Hunter.

Yo, what up? H, what up, Hunt? You do too much drugs. Like, you just don't need to do that much drugs, do you? It's insane. So this is pushy know, this is pussy shit until following that. Hang on real quick.

Halcyon, it looks like a, is that an anti-suicide? No, it's for, it's like, insomnia. Insomnia,

yeah. I saw something about suicide. Oh, yeah, yeah, you took that much cocaine, you're gonna need some halcyon in you. Hell yeah.

But yeah, this sounds pussy, Heavy Ways sounds pussy compared to that one. Heavy Ways is on a typical evening, so it didn't start until the night. He started out with absinthe, drank a bottle of good red wine with dinner, shifted to vodka in town, then battened it down with whiskeys and sodas until 3 a.m.

That's a good old night of drinking. Yeah. I'm going to bump him back now. Come on. Your pick or my pick? Mine. No, yours. Sorry. This is the winner of the draft on my fourth pick, Ozzy Osbourne.

Oh, you dirty dog. That guy. Great pick. I mean, that man is, the reason why he should be the number one overall pick is because he is alive. Like, the fact that he's like, shout out, Sharon! Is because he's like a dead man walking. He absolutely should be dead. I actually want to say, I might have made this up,

but I'm pretty sure he has been resuscitated like once or twice. Like he did die and did overdose and needed like the defibrillators or needed the fucking, the adrenaline to the heart or whatever. But I might have made that up. Been found dead in this hotel room?

Yeah, I think, but that also might've been later in life, I think. But I think, I think he had an incident where it was like, you know, they thought he was gone.

He, cause he used to be like a lot of people kind of got their first taste or their most, their most Ozzy Osbourne, you know, exposure through the Osbournes where he was puttering around ever

I mean he's in his robe and his slippers had far more longevity than Jersey Shore Jersey Shore had a good season yeah Osbournes killed I mean with the kids

and Sharon and him like they had multiple different characters that all could play but him being like Sharon meanwhile he used to be like he had subtitles yeah he had subtitles he was speaking English he didn't have subtitles on multiple different characters that all could play, but him being like Sharon, uh, meanwhile, he used to be like subtitles.

Yeah. He had subtitles on the show. He was speaking English. He didn't have subtitles on. He was speaking fucking English. No one else had subtitles. Ozzy had subtitles. He was the OG team subtitles.

But, um, but he used to be like, you know, front man on a microphone to be like the voice of a man. Like, that's crazy. Right?

Like to be, to be that guy. It's like, uh, you know, it's also crazy that, be that guy, it's like, you know, it's also crazy that, Kelly Osbourne was like, you know, she's on The View now,

or was for a little while. Yeah, yeah. That's nuts. What happened to Jack Osbourne? What did he do? I think, I want to say he married someone famous.

Kelly kind of got hot, I think, she definitely did. Jack Osbourne is, is straight, or is he gay? Straight, I think.

Yeah. Yeah, he looks just like a normal-ass regular dude. And... Yeah, Lisa Sally. So maybe he didn't marry someone famous. Lisa Sally sounds like a porn star name for sure. Can you look up, like, Kelly Osborne, like, what, 2018? You think she was hot then?

Because I feel like there was a period of time where I was like, whoa. Get it, girl. Kelly Osbourne absolutely had a glow up. A glow up, right? Yeah. Yeah, she's rocking there. Yeah, Ozzy is fucking king party. See, this is the thing, too, that now it's so hard

because once you open that door, now I have a million other guests. I mean, that's also the fun thing. We're kind of choosing some fun names, but the honest answer is just anyone who's a rock star in the 80s. Yeah. Like it is. Yep, yep.

I mean, I guess not. I guess not. I guess Hunter S. Thompson is not. Excuse me. I would put... I put Steve-O out there. I don't know that he beats the lead singer. I don't know if he beats Nikki Sixx. I don't know if he beats Nicky Six.

I don't know if he beats Tommy Lee. Are you going to pick your boy? I've got to pick my boy. Which 80s band partied the hardest? Molly Crew. The 15 most notorious party animals in rock. This is from VH1. 15, Dave Navarro.

14. I never even considered him. Why is he listening? He was in a band and then he became himself, right? Who was his band? Yeah, that was when he married fucking... What's her name? He was in Jane's Addiction. Right?

But I never heard of her. And then he became... What was his wife's name? Dave Navarro? He married Jenny McCarthy? No, he married Carmen Electra. Carmen Electra, that's who it was. what was his wife's name? Dave Navarro? he married Jenny McCarthy? no he married Carmen Electra let's see real quick Jane's Addiction

he had an orgy room he decided to kick it up a notch by shooting up in the middle of the proceedings and then began attempting to use his syringe to write on the wall with his own blood the mansion has always been somehow holy to me, and I began to feel weird.

All my life I wondered what it was like, and here I was at 30, squirting blood on the walls with three naked girls at my feet. So I cleaned it off, but it was too late. They had the whole thing on video. When we left the room, several security guards escorted me out of the mansion. Oh, this was in the Playboy Mansion.

He did this. Jesus. But that's a one-time thing uh dave has kicked the junk and moved on to hanging out in much more subdued ways like hanging from meat hooks oh he does that shit that fucking d snyder does uh 14 and 13 van halen dav, David Lee Roth, and Sammy Hagar. Again, 80s band. Let's see if there's a... Yeah, this is just like... They have sex tents on stage. On stage is cool. They'd put a tent on stage and they'd fuck.

Sex tents on stage. Would they bring girls up and then fuck them in the tent? That's wild. I think they thought it was part of the deal. They were like, well, this is Van Halen, and the guys want sex tents, right? Diamond Dave had a bonus program, which was

the roadie who gives out the pass. Okay, hang on. David Lee Roth gave a stack of backstage passes to his roadies, according to Spin100. The roadie who gives out the pass pinned to the tube top on the floor of Diamond Dave's hotel room is given $100 and a commendation.

I don't quite understand that, but there was some sort of bounty. Yeah, a bounty system. Slash from Guns N' Roses, party animal. He once became convinced that his shower was being invaded by a malicious alien predator, but they were a fraction of the size. So he punched his way out of the glass shower and ran down the streets of now of arizona naked that sounds punching out of a glass shower is awesome that sounds acid though acid yeah i mean that's that's more hallucinogenic type yeah if it's not gonna if it's you know i don't think acid is something you think of like oh that's a party

that's like uh how about this this this will change your mind because to me there's drugs booze and sex yeah so slash would rent out several hotel rooms and cycle through them to keep everybody happy so what would he like does everyone just know he's in a different room probably somewhere else it was also a time where he apparently wandered around his house with multiple guns uh but yeah it sounds like he was more like i mean maybe you could be like i'll be right back baby and they just don't ask questions you just go fuck someone else yeah but that's like like even even though even the person who's got the quickest stamina right is they're gonna be like well where are you what's happening yeah yeah um 11 and 10 see this is funny when I think of Aerosmith I think of like

don't want to miss a thing and like him being a dad almost to Liv Tyler and shit but Steven Tyler and Joe Perry I'm sure we're out of their fucking minds is Joe Perry fucking

what's her name's dad? or no it's the other guitarist there's a guitarist who was briefly in Aerosmith is Mickey Kelly yes Joe Perry claims to have used drugs There's a guitarist who was briefly... Mickey Kelly. Joe Perry claims to have

used drugs, a lot of drugs as a... Yeah, it just says that they did a lot of drugs to become motivated and shit. Number nine and eight, Jimmy Page and John Bonham of Led Zeppelin.

Those guys go hard. I'm sure. Seven through four is all Motley Crue. Nikki Sixx, Tommy Lee, Vince Neil, and Mick Mars. It's so sick. But also, who's above that? I guess Ozzy. We'll see.

Let's see. Three, Ozzy Osbourne. Two, Keith Richards. Number one, Keith Moon. I have no idea who that is. Who's that? His own thing or was he in a band? A drummer. Also drank himself to death.

Drummer of the who? He blew up his drum kit on national television. Passed out in the middle of an arena gig. Do you know how hard it is to fall asleep in an arena? It's like the loudest thing in the world. Terrorized the population by making hilarious fake announcements on the PA system installed in his car.

His penchant for practical jokes and elaborate costumes and getting naked is only matched by his superhuman intake of alcohol and drugs. He also created hotel trashing as we know it. Sometimes employing cherry bombs to blow up toilets. That's such a fucked up thing to be like, I'm going to

invent this thing where we just destroy. And it has defined rock for decades now. If you're not destroying a hotel, you're not a rock store. The plumbing bill and they put his plumbing bills across his whole career at $500,000. Other times, he wrecked rooms the old-fashioned way with his hands.

I forgot something, Keith said. He ran back to his room, grabbed a television, and threw it out the window into the swimming pool. Then he got back. They left. This is ridiculous. They get in the limo. They're driving to the airport. He says, oh shit, I forgot something. Go back.

Throws the TV into the pool. Gets back in the car and goes, I nearly almost forgot. I mean, that is crazy. Absolutely nuts. You take monkey tranquilizers that's that's you know yeah that's the kind of shit where you're talking like

next next next level so like you know this you're gonna look at my list and be like oh really did you try not letting him take monkey tranquilizers like that that would have been the move like we tried everything how about just not that dude

um the uh when did he die oh he died in 78 but also yeah I feel like overdosing is kind of like but like like so like I'm surprised even on that list like there isn't fucking uh Freddie not do uh

Mercury there's not Elton John like they're fucking partiers oh yeah I would never think of Elton John as like Freddie... Mercury. There's not Elton John. They're fucking partiers. Oh, yeah. I would never think of Elton John as like... In Rocketman, he was... Oh, yeah. He was hiding that he was gay. That's right.

He was a fucking disaster. I don't know. When did he get married? When did he come out as gay? He was older, right? Yeah, for sure. For sure. He came out in 92.

92. Yeah, I was alive. Jesus Christ. That's nuts. is gay like he was older right yeah for sure for sure um he came out in 92 92 yeah i was a lot jesus christ that's nuts i'm trying to uh you know as the number one feminist podcast in the world trying to come up with a chick kate moss i just saw that yeah kate moss love cocaine like paris hilton they were like partiers they're not like It actually is kind of fucked up that... Lindsay, I think, used to go hard. Most of their... Like a lot of the famous... Women of the early aughts were almost exclusively attempted to be taken down. Yeah.

And we now don't even consider them as partiers either. I know. I know. It's crazy. That's all it was. It's like, look what Britney Spears is doing. Look what Lindsay Lohan's doing. Right. They were just like going out. Yeah. It's crazy. That's all it was. It's like, look what Britney Spears is doing. Look what Lindsay Lohan is doing. Right.

They were just like going out. Yeah. Like they were getting fucked up. But it was, you know, I think they were, I'm sure they were all doing everything. So wait, this is not my pick, but I found hers. Demi Lovato. Oh, Lovato. A lot of drugs.

A lot of drugs, yeah. But my pick, I think, is, and i'm saying this because it's almost like mail time when i always tell you that people are like yo man i like to mail it in a word i got fired on tuesday it's like that's not that's not what it's about same way as if you fucking drink yourself or party yourself to death it's like well you're dead now. Yeah. So in that vein, being successful, Robert Downey Jr. Because that guy was down and out, broke, wandering into people's homes. I don't know if he did drugs, though. Oh, no.

He didn't. Heavy drugs? No, yeah. He was a coke guy. I'll do RDJ. Yeah, RDJ. I mean, this whole thing came about because of Charlie Sheen. Neither of us have drafted him.

I think you have a pick left if you want to take him. I was kind of thinking Charlie Sheen doesn't count because it's in his honor. Right, right, right. I guess that is going to confuse people on the graphic. We'll just put Lifetime Achievement Award or something like that. Yeah. I think Colin Farrell's up there in the RDJ vein. But I'm going to go with – I took Tommy Lee four, right?

So then I will do last pick. I will do, ah, fuck it. I'll go, I'll rip Kate Moss. Yeah. That's my bitch. That's my bitch. Kate Moss is actually awesome too because it's like she had the famous, I believe her famous line is nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But like also, I don't know, maybe bring up the cocaine. That's probably what's helping you not eat anything and keeping you quite skinny. You're not just on a diet. Not your will to be like, nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.

Cocaine tastes better than skinny feels. What are you having for dinner? Cocaine. You ever had gasoline drip down your throat? It's pretty delicious. You know who might make the list in a different way is all these rappers who are popping pills and drinking lean and shit like that. Shoot, we said strictly white men. Until we got to Kate Moss, it was just here's a list of white guys acting like white guys.

Doing what the whites do. I actually don't know. Oh, you know, Jordan Belfort is a good one. If that's all true. I don't know how much of that was exaggerated. Because he was like the Quaalude King, right? Yeah. I don't know if that was true or whatever.

But yeah, black guys, I'm sure there's a bunch of them that party hard, but white seem to really. Who was your best? Robert Downey Jr. Elvis was probably a good one. He probably went hard. See that new Elvis movie coming out? You like cheeseburgers.

Not cheeseburgers. Peanut butter and reals. Yeah, he was a fat boy, right? Yeah, big old tub of lard. Bro, dying on the toilet's the worst. I don't know, man. You couldn't have helped your boy out and just thrown him in the bed or something? Medical examiner couldn't just be like, I'm not wiping his ass, too.

So he'd just stay here. Talk soon. So there's probably like, don't, I don't want to see, well, this is a surefire way to make sure it happens. I don't want to see your tweets like, how could you forget? It's like, there's millions of people to pick from on this list we picked five each so get at us your biggest partiers drinkers substance abusers yeah yeah for real uh all right voicemail time brought to you by roman we haven't talked we haven't heard from them in a little while but speaking of sex addicts yeah baby we're back on

back on track this is this is what fucking uh who was it was going room to room slash slash this is what slash could use since he was could you imagine for two seconds at a time maybe a nice roman would have helped him out could you imagine back in the day doing that all natural no viagra no roman swipes rock stars just had hard dicks. Those guys just had sex drive like a motherfucker. But for the normies out here, the regular people who just have regular jobs, just want to have some regular sex,

but you want to make sure it's good, you want to make sure you please your partner, Roman is here with their swipes. Now, most of us probably lasting what? Two minutes? Two minutes to get you there.

Yeah, two minutes to get the job done. I feel like you want to try to make it to five. Five is the spot. I feel like five is a solid. Anything over ten is enough. Oh, anything over ten is like you're running off the score. You're being ridiculous. Five minutes is like we had sex.

Anything under five minutes is going to be like you're probably going to get clowned a little bit by the girls. I don't know how it works with the gays. I don't know. But girls,

anything under five minutes you're getting roasted in the group chat. Five minutes is just like we had sex. Yeah. Ten minutes, I think I've said before

13 is the number for me. 13 is your speed. I think 13 kind of including I'll go down on you for a little bit. So it ends up being like it's probably seven minutes of foreplay, five year of school. I think 13 kind of including, I'll go down on you for a little bit. So it ends up being like, it's probably seven minutes of foreplay,

five minutes of sex. Yeah, okay. So that's what you should shoot for, but actual penetration, five minutes, we had sex. No, you know,

no disclaimer about it. That is an undeniable fact. We've had sex for five minutes, we've had sex. We've had sex. Anything less than that is going to be like, I don't even count it as sex.

And girls being like, yeah, that doesn't, it's like, you don't even have to fucking deal with this. You don't even get on the body count if you're under five. It doesn't even count. So in order to make. What more fucked up phrases ever invented? The fact that we just equate having sex with people to your murder count. How many dicks have you murdered? But if you want to have

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All right. We got the girl who found her friend in a... I know the porn niche. I don't think you were here for it. But I don't know if I can say it with her face being out there. Because it's aggressive as fuck. Oh, wait, hang on. We just got a little update here.

Did you see this 17 hours ago? Before we get to voicemails uh someone added us on a tweet where they uh and adriana just favored it when they called her a true warrior and uh so adriana said 17 hours ago okay ironically i went to do something and injured my neck so bad i had to go to the hospital and just got my scan back. I have a disc disease, C5, 6, 7 with spasms and I'm currently not able to move my head much. I know this is directly from pile drive.

She's the queen, bro. Did you see what she did live this weekend? I wish I witnessed it. I only saw the aftermath where she was retweeting people and there were clips. It was two things. It was people who clipped No. I wish I witnessed it. I only saw the aftermath where she was retweeting people. And there were clips. It was two things.

It was people who clipped shots of it and also people just being like, thank you. You're the greatest. She set up 10 pins on like a runway and lubed herself up totally naked and went naked bowling. It was amazing. She played that new video game, Eldon's Ring. she played it for like 12 hours she played until five in the morning and she stopped and did this shit she was doing like slip and slide that's what i was looking for with the stripper pole in the background love it totally naked pussy out just and she took a ton of lube apparently and just like lubed up the whole runway and what's funny she did a couple

that like totally failed that was a good one the first one she i mean look at that and like not even recognizing that she's just like she did one on her stomach that was like slip and slide when there's no water on she just went like she was like well that sucked uh but naked bowling was like people were like this was the most epic thing that's ever been on the internet. I mean, look at her. Just drooling on that one. I just like him. There's just nobody better. She is the greatest at her craft. It's tough to beat. It's Jordan.

It's fucking Tiger. It's Chechik. She's the best in the game. Brady, Chechik. It's undeniable. We got the girl from last week who found her friend while she was watching porn. The question was, would you bring it up and tell them that you found them?

Because in order to find what porn she was doing, it's kind of like if you snoop and you want to confront the person. And then they're like, well, how do you even know that? It's like you both committed a crime here. You know what I mean? I mean, one committed murder, one committed robbery. Right, and that's the thing. It's like you can't tell me. You can't be like, oh, my God, you watch that?

It's like, oh, my God, you do that. Yeah. So you can always bring it up because you have the trump card on her. But I will say the whole time I was listening to that i was like how bad could this be and it's not bad because we don't kink shame but it is rather unique i uh found out that the the category was that's fine i'll tell you what it is the only thing that's going to get me going with ****. Do you like ****? I've never saw it out. Oh, I thought you were about to say you never saw it.

I was like, you're a **** liar. No, no, no. I've come across it in my porns before, but I don't think I've ever typed **** into a bar. Oh, I have, but out of morbid curiosity. I've never done it to be like, I've got to come. But I think it's more like it's a Cirque du Soleil thing. Well, it's a fucking thing Adriana just throws out there sometimes. Apparently.

That's how she goes. I just like the thought of when you see it like, oh, like... There was one time I saw it. It was like, it was Bella Donna and Jenna Hayes, and it was like Bella Donna explaining to her how it works and how to do it, and it was like Belladonna explaining to her how it works and how

to do it, and it was almost like watching Pejo teach fucking a curveball. Here's the hand placement. Look at two of the greats just kind of sitting down having a chat. I almost did one time.

I almost **** somebody. What? I got like it was attempted yeah it wasn't like a oops an extra finger juice slipped in it was now it was no no it was like i think it was like bro you better be careful i think that's illegal in some states i don't think it was like hey hey up there i'm about to but i think it was like, hey, up there, I'm about to fuck you. But I think it was like, you're pretty comfortable with like three in there right now. There's some space to operate. So what do we got?

An update here or all new? No, just a different situation. Okay, me again. I actually have another thing that I did want to bring up. I had my car broken into last weekend, and I had to get a new window replaced. So Safe Flight came, and sorry, no free ads. They came and they were fixing the car and the really great kid, like he was like probably young 20s and fixing my car. And I was just like sitting on the side of the road, like on a bench nearby, listening to my AirPods,ods listening to kfc radio

and um it was the great providence piss story and um he turned on my car to check the window and it went through sync and uh started playing through the car radio and um his reaction his face really said it all was just kind of like, what are you listening to? And, um, honestly could have been way worse. What did like the things you guys have said could have been a lot worse. Um,

so, um, I just wanted to know what, if you can name a time that technology has failed you, um, in like the worst possible way. I know people that have accidentally had porn on a Bluetooth speaker

instead of their headset, but when has technology truly failed you? I was going to ask also, what do you think the worst KFC radio segment is to play in a situation like that? By that time, you tried to bring back the N-word. That was weird. Not to joke, friends.

I mean, I feel like that's a story all this time nowadays. I think the Bluetooth goes out and it sinks in with someone else, which is why I keep everything fucking air-gapped. I don't connect shit with shit. I don't have an Alexa in my house. I don't have a Bluetooth in my house. I'm fucking a record player, bro. I don't Bluetooth. I in my house I don't have a Bluetooth in my house I'm fucking I got a record player bro

I don't Bluetooth I'm getting a goddamn typewriter I don't Bluetooth I don't cloud I don't connect anything I mean I do cloud but like oh you're crazy

well I don't want to it's just my phone makes me no you don't have to do that you can turn off your cloud all my shit I can keep it off yeah well that's already up there

well yeah it's too late now but like I don't I don't have my iMessage connected to my laptop and shit. People who do that are nuts. Crazy. And that's not even like, you don't have to worry about getting caught. If you're not doing anything fine, at some point you're going to be talking shit or saying things you shouldn't or whatever.

Text messages are very easily taken out of context. Right. Especially when you're going to connect it to a computer because computers are where you do work. You know what I mean? I'm not that passionate about it. Right, right. But it's going to look awful when you read it.

The Bluetooth and the cloud are... I mean, yeah, listen. You want to talk about technology fucking me? I've got a story for you. I was shoveling the other day for the first time in a while, and I was like, I put my phone in my pocket, and I was like, ha-ha. Yep.

Zipped it up tight. Yep. Did put it in the pocket with the buttons. Yeah, that would be my technology failing me story. Yeah, that's a pretty good one. No, the worst things are just straight up if you've ever been in uh the cube like having excel or your monkey work crash and it's just gone oh yeah it's truly genuinely like the most disheartening thing that can happen i

think that should be a fair excuse for college kids if like your work too i think if i went to my manager i said like yo excel crashed i'd be like i don't know tell the client like his excel crashed we've all been there right yeah i feel like i feel like you should be able to like If I went to my manager and said, yo, Excel crashed, I'd be like, I don't know, tell the client, his Excel crashed. We've all been there. I feel like you should be able to call up fucking Putin and be like, sorry, the Excel crashed. Let's press pause for a minute here. Their Excel crashed. We understand how ridiculous it would be

to do that back to back. So fine. It would be insane. Truly nuts. Give them a minute to get their composure. I don't even think college kids would have to do that whole crash. Can I have an extra 24 hours? No, no, no.

You're never getting it. My shit crashed. Oh, that's it. Yeah, I did it. Yeah. You have to give me a C plus or something. Yeah, you'll never read it. I don't know what to tell you.

I'm not rewriting it. Yeah, for real. If you have to rewrite the whole thing, nope. It's fucking crazy. Yeah, no, that's over. But I've definitely had the – I've had porn. It wasn't like porn. I've had the same kind of thing where I was in control of the music, and I think it was when I was living at home for lockdown.

And it was like – it didn't get to the extent that it really mattered but like I noticed right away and it was like I think it was probably a porn star I follow on Twitter and I just scroll on Twitter and I was like oh pop that video a little bit longer and I noticed

like very quickly the sound cut out and I like saved it but it was about to be like I've prepared for now yeah yeah yeah people but like you like you forget about Bluetooth like you forget you're running the music yeah I mean it's like but like that but that it's a cold glass of water get thrown yeah you like oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah all right next one what's up kfc fights nick jackie i think she's in fucking asia or egypt or something um rest of the gang paths uh this is fitz down from atlanta georgia and i actually work at la fitness and i'm the general manager and i fucking love y'all show this isn't really

as much of a question more as it is an offer but i'd love to just give y'all all free gym memberships like no promotional bullshit none of that stuff but seriously everything y'all do is fucking awesome and hilarious and i'd love just to give y'all some free gym memberships um y'all be able to go to any gym in the whole country um but yeah just let me know hilarious how can you be such a big fan and offer us something? No, I'll take him up on that. Are there LA Fitnesses around here? Is that a thing in New York? I do not know the answer to that one. There are LA Fitnesses. Paz has looked it up.

Paz is going to take a free one. Who has gym membership here? Nick just left. You, you're gay. You have to. What do you mean no? That was either a yes or're gay. You have to, right? What do you mean no? That was either a yes or no question. You have it, but you don't use it? Well, that's having a gym membership.

I have a car license. I don't use it very often, but I have a license. You have a gym membership? Do you use it? Yeah. What about the beans? I know. Well, that was a new thing, so I don't do beans anymore.

I don't do beans. What does that mean? You got enough money to have a gym membership now? Yeah. Where do you have a gym membership? You don't have an exact location. Like a chain? Equinox.

It was a Christmas present for my parents. For like a year or something? Or like forever? No, for a year. Yeah, it's just expensive but if you use all that Equinox offers if you are like a gym goer and really it's a part of your life you should probably pay for it

because it's sick but if you're going to be an asshole it goes like once every six months that is one thing I will always tip my cap to Equinox for I did not go for like six months at one point, probably longer, and then went again and tried to walk in the door like nothing had happened. And they were like, oh, your membership's expired, but we stopped you after two months.

That's cool. Rather than just fucking you. Rather than just continuously charging me. So I was like, oh, I respect that, Equinox. We charge these people $1,000 a month, so we'll let you go. Equinox nickels over here. I think Equinox when I was there was

$280 if I'm not mistaken. It was a Christmas festival. That's a car lease, man. I'm above the beans now. $230. With an initiation fee. When you've got to get initiated into a place meet me in the sauna

time for the initiation I got a Planet Fitness one and I did it in Florida during quarantine and the only way I can get rid of it is if I go back to Florida so it's $10 a month

so I just pay yeah that's it forever well that's well yeah I guess you'll have to do it when you're in Florida but that is a $10

signing up for $10 a month for the rest of your life. Although I guess, Noah, I don't. What are you telling me? You wouldn't do that or something? $10 a month for the rest of your life. I mean, it's $120 a year. Okay, so that's like one time leaving the house. So it's barely even $1,000.

All right, I'd let it rip. Because it is like, I mean, I couldn't even tell you the things I have anymore. I really can't. There is an app that does that, right? Yeah, but I wouldn't even want to know. You keep it secret. There's too much. There's too much nonsense I have.

Unless that app is like, here's all the things and with a push of a button we can disconnect you from all of them. No, that is what the app is like. I believe so. I don't even want to know how much I've spent, though. You know what I mean? That's a gut-wrenching thing. They want to see if they can put together how much coffee you've got.

That's why some of the best stuff that can happen to you is when you lose your credit card. And then you have to re- Yeah. And it's a bitch, but it's like, now I know I'm only paying for what I need to pay for. That's true. None of my stupid phases. But that's how lazy I am. With that one night of paying for things, I'd rather just keep paying. Like with that one night of re-logging into everything i know i know it's a bitch that's

why i think shout out to uh american express and i think chase has figured this out too like american express is a new number but like not really like the like the last few numbers are the same and like you don't need to change it for some reason oh really i don't know how they do it but there's something where like you can leave it as is and chase now like when you're getting a new card, it automatically goes right to your phone. So even before it's mailed to you, you have it on your phone. They're up in their game with that shit. I did not know that. I'm going to go throw my American Express out the window now.

Just to get my money's worth from American Express. Dude, I remember I recently got an American Express and someone was like, why'd you get that? And I was like, I don't know. And they're like, is it worth it? I don't know. It's a credit card. I don't do anything with it. Did I tell you about my credit score? Yeah. Yeah. Let me tell you something, folks. I haven't

done it on air, did I? I believe you did. Did I? No, it was just with us. I think I just bullshitted. I don't know how credit works. I have been afraid to check my credit score for the last, like, five years. Ever since the divorce, selling the house, I just, like, once I became, like, a bachelor again, it was, like, you know, all sorts of bills slipping through the cracks, all sorts of responsibilities out the window.

And I, like, I had tickets that I hadn't paid and bills i hadn't paid a couple collection agencies were hitting me up i was letting my gonna hit my collection agency for like for like a you know small thing here yeah um but yeah but like a couple things that like i didn't even know and i would never pick up the the random numbers and like the one time i did they're like you know we've been it was like a gym i think was hunting me down for some money. And, uh, and I was,

I was letting my, I was always paying like the minimum balance, but I guess that's like, that's okay. As long as you put the minimum balance, I haven't, uh, credit score is damn near perfect.

It's eight 31, eight 31. And I think the highest eight 50. That's a fucking good. So I'm like, I don't know what the fuck. I was genuinely nervous. And I was like, I was, I kept thinking to myself, I'm like I don't know what the fuck I was genuinely nervous and I was like

I kept thinking to myself I'm going to get this barstool money but like still not be able to get like a house or something because my credit's going to be so bad

so I just don't know how to build your credit score I would say that the collection agency's bad but it is like I remember when I didn't have I had like zero credit they're like

you're in collection agencies too and then I just called the collection agency and I was like, where do I owe you? And they're like, 50 bucks. That's what I mean. It was such a small amount. I was like, oh, okay, here. And then it was like, okay, here you go. You have great credit. And I guess, yeah, once you do that, it gets rid of the black mark. It gets cleared of debts.

Right. And that's a debt. I guess so, yeah. I was like, looking at one eye, and then it went like, that little half arc. And it went all the way up. And I was like, oh, that must be like a banner ad or a GIF or something. And I was scrolling and I was like,

no, that really cannot be mine. And then I thought maybe this is an example. Like, click here to get yours. And I kept seeing the same number. I was like, fuck, it's mine. Amazing. Last voicemail. Is this the same guy?

Same guy, yeah. What's up, KFC Radio? KFC, Fights, Jackie, Nick, Pavs. Pavs, I actually went to the same school as you. Go Gamecocks. But I was, and the rest of the team. But I'm on my break right now. Y'all have actually answered some of my questions in the past

about The Rock versus John Cena, who had won in a death match, and y'all having a pissing contest. Um, so I had another random idea come up. If you were to set up a table in a popular area and on the front of it, it says rock, paper, scissors, you win, you get $50. I win, you pay me $50. If you were to just sit there and do that to strangers all day, how much money do you think you're losing or how much money do you think you're making? All right.

Appreciate it. Everything you do, fucking awesome. I don't think, I think 50 is too high. I don't think the average person is running up on you and doing that. You don't need to be there and play. Yeah. You need to pay like five bucks. Yeah.

Like 20, I think would be like, maybe some Yeah, like 20 I think would be like maybe some people would like. I think if I'm walking by, but I guess the flip side is like that's enough to entice somebody to try to win. But I think the average walker, passersby is not going to be like. I mean, it takes 30 seconds, less than that. You can pay for 20 bucks. I think people would be like, oh, that's enough to win me over. I'm saying it's like the risk averse.

Like I don't want to lose 50 bucks right now. Yeah. The average person would be. I'm saying it's 20 will definitely get you to stop. Yeah. We're agreeing. Got it. But the.

It's an interesting idea for like homeless people. Like, like before you're disgusting and no one wants to be around you. Right? Before you like, you have a layer of soot on you and everyone's just like,

whoa. Like when you're like down on, you know, it's like i lost my job like a week ago instead of just begging be like yo i'll play you this is this is your uh your idea to fix homelessness is gambling i didn't i didn't think about what happens when you lose it's like well i'm homeless here's the rub if i win you give me 50 bucks if you win i explain to you that i'm homeless and i don't have any money but hey it makes for a great story right that's honestly what i think that would work if i if i was like right and i won and someone was like, here's the deal. I'm actually broke.

I have $0. I'm homeless. This was my hustle. I'd be like, you know what? Here's your $20. That was worth it. This whole exchange is worth it for a story. You earned it.

It's almost like, hey, you want a lifelong story? That's a lifelong story. You will tell that story at every cocktail party, on every date, in every social engagement for the rest of your life. Here is a story for $20. You know? You have a $20 story

for the rest of your life. This is a homeless man who duped me. Yes. The time that I got tricked by a vagrant. How you doing? I'm John.

Nice to meet you. I've been tricked by homeless people before. You know the people society as a whole considers the least smart of the bunch? Then,

outwitted. Pulled one over on me. Do you think that you would run up, you think you'd win a lot? Yeah, I'd win a lot. I mean, well, as we have seen with you, what's your overall performance, good or bad? Probably like 50-50, right? It's actually, yeah, it's probably about 50-50. I mean, that's how it works. Nah, it might be a little subpar.

I would used to argue that I'm one of the greatest Rock of the Year shoot players of all time. That is a great lie to tell people. There's been a hole popped in that balloon. Yeah, it's hard to tell now. Yeah. I just had one example of me beating Dave who had said he was the greatest. He was the greatest. And then so I was like, well, there's a video out there.

Yeah, yeah. That's a good – I feel like that's a good almost like pickup line is to say that things like that. Greatest Rock Paper Scissors player of all time. She quickly finds me out. By then, we played a game. I'm not good at it.

I'm not good at it. I'm sure you're fine at it. No, but I do think there's a way to... There is a way to play. I remember reading about it when we were doing it here. You were studying for a rock paper scissors test? Yeah.

I was like, is there a way to... I was just like, I'm going to play, but I was like, is there a way to win? They do say something like the average mind is inclined to switch when they lose. So, if they just threw rock and you beat them, then you can probably guess it's going to be paper.

But right away, you have to figure that out in a matter of seconds each time. So I was like, okay, he lost, but he played this. But I'm not going to do it. And then when I read this thing, it was like a short article. The very end was like, the best way, if you're not going to be able to do all that, the best way is to like truly just clear your mind and play and i was like now that i can do yeah that's that's my uh strategy that's literally what although but then i would i would accidentally like i i my mind would be so clear i'd forget what i just yeah yeah and then people would like

you threw rocks 11 times in a row well that was a thing too. That's why they do a rock counter on the Stool Streams feed. Rock is so popular. So then you know that's a lot. Honestly, there was one time for like the games were 2-11, and through the first two games, I'd only thrown rock. And it had been brought up to me. Yeah, and you didn't even know? I forgot to switch it again.

Oh, that's funny. It was like I'd thrown two rocks. Your brain is so stupid, so empty that doctors was like, and like, it had been brought up to me. Yeah. And you didn't even know? I forgot to switch it again. Oh, that's funny. It was like, I'd thrown. Your brain is so stupid. So empty that the doctors are like, we don't know what's going on. Jake Marsh was like, he's like, dude, stop throwing rock. You keep throwing rock. And I was like, all right, word. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.

There is something psychological about rock, no doubt in my mind. I don't know what it is. If there's a strong masculine thing. If it's a, yeah, yeah. But it's like, no, because deadly paper covers it. Yeah. It's so stupid.

It doesn't make sense. Uh, have you ever seen the, the, the chicks, uh, the Asian chicks playing rock, paper,

scissors on TV? No, it's awesome. They like hold, well, you said that was like sexy. Yeah. Well,

it kind of is now. It's almost like the darts thing. Um, do like Asian. Yeah. It doesn't have to be girls, but like, yeah, yeah, yeah, it kind of is. It's almost like the darts thing. Do like Asian... Yeah, it doesn't have to be girls, but like... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Click that picture and then try to find the video that goes with it. Yeah, yeah.

This is one of them at least. It's like watching the darts shit. Yeah, this is it. You hold your fingertips touching, like touching, like, ready to go. I hate the Daily Mail player. It's a trash. With the embed codes at the bottom, like it's 2000. Look at the crying.

Do you have the volume up? jack and queen there's something that's so much better almost about just the way they do it like one two three throw yeah like the rock paper scissors makes it like cutesy if they're just like go like your life depends on it there should be a snuff film version of this where it's just like you throw, it's like scissor. Gone. It's harder though. I feel like I'd give hints. I guess not if my knuckles have before us. This makes it chaotic. You can't really watch what I'm about to throw.

I feel like if I was that, I'd be a little more open. Maybe two fingers up more because that's what, and then people would be like, they would notice that. A little imperceptible differences. Did I tell you about the couple at Whistlepig? At the brewery? No.

Before we did the speeches and shit, these two came up to me and they were like, do you want to play... They were even like, we want to play you and Jenga, they said. And I was kind of like... I think it was supposed to end up being both of us, but you ended up talking.

So I was like, all right, let's go. And they were like... so i was like all right let's go and they were like i was like are you guys like good and they were like you know we're pretty good about what about you and i was like well we play in the office for ten thousand dollars so like you know but i wasn't i was just like so take that for what it's worth like sometimes you know we take it seriously or like we play a lot and they were like okay cool do you play that you have to like you have to pull the first block you touch and i was like well for a penalty and they were like oh okay, cool. Do you play that you have to pull the first block you touch? And I was like, well, for a penalty. And they were like, oh, no, we play like as soon as you touch it, you got to take it.

I was like, damn. Okay. That's not even Jenga. That's chaos. I was going to say, I don't know if that is a rule or whatever, but they stepped up and they were like, they would try to move it. They're like, fuck, that one's not loose. They would just sit there and wiggle it.

I was like, you guys are nuts. This is, yeah. Who has an eternity to play a game of jank yeah racing i want it i almost want it to be like you know like some men watch the world burn you know what i mean like you guys play all the time with that rule i guess no it would be faster it'd be like because you're gonna oh true you're gonna pull but it does take like because if you're sitting there sitting there yeah so i would just like look for the ones like that one's clearly loose and I would like pop it through. But they played First Thing You Touch always.

I was like... I wonder if that is a rule. I'm not sure you say that. There might be like an official way to play. Probably. All right, interview time. We got Emma Willman on the show who is a funny comic

who opened up for Louis C.K. She has an unbelievable bit talking about going on the road with him when he was, you know, at his peak and getting involved in certain activities. Uh, very funny girl. We had a,

uh, it was funny. We had a bad interview before her that same day, which will be airing later this week. And then she came in a couple hours later and it was like, holy shit. The difference between interviewees yeah interviewees where it's just like this was so much easier and more enjoyable uh also both of you with just one of

the dumbest moments of all time with the shower water just astoundingly crazy i don't remember it wasn't i at one point i asked what do you think the average temperature in the shower is? How hot do you think the water is when you guys shower? We will say the 70s? Yeah. Yeah. Astoundingly stupid. Just think about how you are 98.6 degrees, John, your body. Think about how much colder 72 would be to your body and how much.

Yeah. No, I mean, you're making a lot of sense. You're making good points. She also, Emma texted me on my birthday, which was very nice of her. And she said something like inspirational and corny, being like, this is your year. Like, we're going to make the best of this year or something. And she said, she meant to say, as I sit here eating Cheetos and scrolling TikTok, but eating autocorrected to rating. And I was like, I'm pretty sure this is an auto-correct, but I really hope you're sitting there

rating Cheetos. 7.9. This brand, 6.2. Because that would be some depressing shit. I rate my Cheetos. All right, Emma Williman on KFC Radio. It's brought to you by BetterHelp. If you are down and out

and you're just sitting around rating your Cheetos and you need some help, BetterHelp is the way to do it. It's the modern version of mental health help. It's the modern version of seeking out therapy. You don't have to find a doctor. You don't have to travel to the office. You don't have to wait in the waiting room. You don't have to wait weeks to get an appointment. You can find a doctor within 48 hours to match what you need them for. And then you can do your therapy over technology. That

means you could do as little as text with them. You could do a phone call. You could do a video call. All which ways you could communicate with people, you can now communicate with your therapist. We are the card-carrying mental health champions here at Barstool Sports, telling people to go give their thoughts out to their therapist. By champions, we mean losers.

Yes. I mean, you can do it when you're down and out, or you can do it when you're in good shape and you want to just keep it up. A little maintenance day. Yeah. It's like me. I got skinny fat because I just never went back to the gym at all, and now it's too late.

Basically, the therapist would be like, it's too late for you, bro. But you go to BetterHelp once a week. You shoot some texts. You make some phone calls. You do some video chats. And you keep yourself happy and keep yourself balanced and maintain those mentals. Right now, you can get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com slash KFC. That's B-E-T-T-E-R-H-E-L-P.com slash KFC.

Over 2 million people have tried it. It's more affordable. It's easier. And you don't have to deal with any of the stigmas still attached to it. It's betterhelp.com slash KFC. Emma Willeman on KFC Radio. Let's talk to her. They're pretty good.

Sweet. Things are pretty good? Yeah. Oh, good. You figured it out? I was talking about these guys. I was like, oh, good. You finally arrived? You pretty good? Yeah. Oh, good. You figured it out? We're talking about these guys. I was like, oh, good. You finally arrived.

You went through? Yeah. I gave it an honest thought. Two people didn't react to it. True. I had to think about it. Right now, I'm pretty good. I watched an episode with Tom Segura where you're talking about sleep eating.

And I do that, too. Oh, yeah? Yeah. It's like a big... And I did it last night. You carry it better than he does. Yeah, yeah. Oh yeah? Yeah. It's like a big and I did it last night. You carry it better than he does. Yeah, you look at me.

You were a sleep eater. I got no idea. What did you eat last night? Give me a little color on that. Are we cooking? Are we just grabbing a snack? It happened when I was a kid I used to always eat to get I guess, I don't know what it was. I used to just overeat at night to get tired. While you're awake. While I was a kid, I used to always eat to get, I guess, I don't know what it was. I used to just overeat at night to get tired.

While you're awake. While I was awake. But then as I got older, I started doing it. I think it's like a stress response. But now it's just like out of control. Like I ate a chicken the other night. So there's like bones in the bed. Like a rotisserie chicken?

No. I don't even know if you do bones in the bed. No. Have you done bones? I don't think I've reached that yet. I've done bones in the bed, dude. It's disgusting, though. Yeah, it's gross.

Don't get me wrong. You're vile. But that's cool. And then your peanut butter, that's happened to me, too. It's not good. I've done it. Let me tell you something. Anytime you can intimately relate to my co-host here, that's a red flag.

You don't want that. I've done chicken. You did the, you pawned the chicken. Yeah, like there was one time where I kind of came out of, like came into consciousness, I guess. Where I was like hunched over in front of the fridge. No. With just like a bare hand of chicken. And I was like, I had my fucking stomach hanging out.

I was just in like fucking briefs. I get it. And I was like, I was like, oh my God, dude. This is, I mean, it's good. It's so intense. Did you finish the chicken? Of course I did. I was just in like fucking briefs. I get it. And I was like, oh my God, dude. It's so intense. I mean, it's good, but God. Did you finish the chicken? Of course I did. Of course.

I mean, I've heard stories or read stories of people who were like dieting and working out and being like, this is not working. I don't get it. And it's because they're eating like full meal. Because I also feel like there's evidence. There's bones. There's mess. There's wrappers.

Right. You know what you did. So it's like, are, like, doing the dishes and throwing out all the evidence? And then, you know? You never do. In my experience, you never do the dishes. But also, I'm a little bit awake. Right. So, like, I feel like if I'm being totally honest, I could, I don't know if you feel this way, but I feel like I could stop myself.

You just don't want to. I just don't want to. I lean towards that as well. You know what I'm saying? Like, it's a little. I don't eat, but I sleep, walk, and talk. And I always have, like, a, it's never like, I don't, what? I didn't know as well. You know what I'm saying? I don't eat, but I sleep, walk, and talk. And I always have like a – it's never like I don't what. I didn't know I did that.

I can kind of remember it, and I'm like sort of 50-50. And so if I was an eater and you put a wonderful fucking Entenmann's donut in front of me, I wouldn't – in my sleep state, I wouldn't be like, those are empty calories. I'd be like, those are empty calories. I've done it before where I sleep ate a meal, which gave me heartburn. Then I got up and went,

I woke up with a mouth full of Tums. Because I ate so much that I gave myself heartburn. I get that. Then I went to the medicine cabinet and I got those. I don't know how much I gave myself heartburn. I get that. And then I went to the medicine cabinet, and I got those. I don't know how much you deal with heartburn. Not much.

Not much. Okay. So now Tom's has a new style they come in, which are quite good. It's like a candy, but it's a hard shell. So you got to really let it sit in your mouth. Oh, you have had those. Those are good. Wait, were you a fat kid not to get?

Because I was a fat kid, and that's something I would have said. Those are good. So you got to let it sit in your mouth. You were a fat kid? I would never guess that. I appreciate that. I guess you work hard at it because you don't look like you would be there at all. I appreciate that.

Thank you. I used to talk about it more, but then people would be like, I was a fat kid too, and then sometimes they would show me a picture of them when they were a fat kid, and they would be like a fatter kid than I was, and I'd feel bad. Oh, I'm not fat.

Oh, you're gross. And then they'd be like, let me see a picture. I'm like, yeah, it's not important. I'm just a little chubby. Oh, yeah. The evidence, I feel like, in the morning is, I mean. Oh, but I woke up and I was... I had someone in bed with me and they were like,

you were choking and then you realized what you were choking on and you never woke up and you just started eating them and you just turned to a big smile that you found candy in your mouth. Like 6 a.m. It's like, what is it yep oh it's strawberry it's candy this is and it's well it went back to bed and that's you are just that is how you become this there was one video he sent to the group after we kind of like revealed this in our group chat where he like the video just like meandered from his couch through the kitchen

to the bathroom of Of you asleep? Of me waking up afterwards. Oh, got it, got it, got it. There's a wrapper here and the garbage is pulled out and the fridge was open. It looked like Hank the Tank, the bear who's terrorizing California. Just eating everybody. It looked like someone ransacked a house except it's just his house. One time I had peanut butter on the light switch.

So I was in the bathroom and I look up and I saw this like, it was like a murder print on the thing, but of peanut butter. And I was like, God. You were Winnie the Pooh-ing it? I know I was doing that, which is awful. It's so, have you ever said something when you're sleep talking that you want to say in real life, but won't? And then you said it, because I did that one time. What did you say?

I was in a relationship and I was like, am I allowed to swear? Oh yeah. I was like, I don't want to fucking do this anymore. Like this is a goddamn disaster. And then I, like, am I allowed to swear? I was like, I don't want to fucking do this anymore. This is a goddamn disaster. And then I, yeah, exactly. And then she said I said that in the morning and she was like, and you said, I can't fucking stand how you watch TV all night.

And I was like, I didn't say that. I actually think that's brilliant though if you are a sleep talker to use it to your advantage because I have been on the other end of intense manipulation that I did not realize until after the fact. Oh my God. I was like these two times,

two different girls were like snooping through my phone and shit like that. And there wasn't, it wasn't like anything to find, but it was just like, they were bringing up details and being like, you said that in your sleep.

And I was like, oh, I didn't say that in my sleep. Nice try. I remember what it was. I was like seeing somebody, but we really weren't like fully dating. So she went through my phone, saw that I was talking to other girls, whatever, having like being single. And then she told me that like in my sleep I said that. And I was like, you know, dude, I guess so, because I don't have evidence. But I was like, I don't think I would say that.

Like, I know what I do. Usually what I do is I say words, but it's just gibberish. Exactly. I'd be like, whiskey bottle, phone, mic. And they'd be like, what are you talking about? Right. So I was manipulated that way. But, you know.

That's a bitch move. Oh, yeah. That's a bitch move. But also, like, tip my cap. Pretty smart. Well, that's the thing. Pretty smart, but it's going to make you question your entire existence. Right.

You're not going to fall asleep. And every time I went to sleep, I was like, just keep my throat. You know what I mean? Keep that shit quiet. Can't we get wisdom tooth surgery every night? I'm stopping it in there. Yeah, I didn't realize it until way too late. And I was like, that was fucked, man.

That was really dirty but I also think on the flip side I think we should do it more if you're afraid to say something just be like I don't think this is going to work out I really have love for you in my heart but I don't think I'm in love

with you I just can't commit right now one time I was um had a nightmare that it was something like um the room was on fire and the the air conditioner was like the source of the fire or something like that but like that doesn't even matter long story short is i woke up and thought there was a fire and I just ran and saved myself. I didn't help her.

I didn't get the dog. I was just castanza running out. There's a rapist in the mix. What? I got to the front door of my apartment, opened it up and that's when it snapped me out. Usually I like had one thing that kind of like, did you get caught?

Did you tell her? Did she know? Oh yeah. No. And then, and then she told her no. Cause she, cause I woke up and I must've been saying something. one thing that kind of like did you get caught? did you tell her? did she know? oh yeah no and then you told her? no cause she cause I woke up and I must have been

saying something fire or whatever and then she was more in the first the first couple minutes was kind of like she got out of bed and she's like

are you fucking okay come back to bed and then she was like you know you thought there was a fire and you didn't really do anything you were asleep asleep you were asleep also I'm not a fire and you didn't really do anything. You were asleep. I was asleep.

You were asleep. Also, I'm not a hero. Right. What are you supposed to do? If there's a fire, it's every man for himself, dude. You didn't want to wake her up. That would have been a whole thing. Just let you die in your sleep.

You'll be fine. I want to stop sleep eating so bad, though. Because it drives me nuts because I'm just so sick of it. Every night thing, sort of? I took a pause for maybe four months and then it came back about a week ago. And I kind of forgot about it. And then when I was watching your episode, it came flooding back. That's who you are.

I do this all the time. You started having a born supremacy. Yes. Oh, yeah. I do remember my training. All of a sudden, she's a chef. Have you tried anything to curb it? I've tried taking magnesium at night.

I tried meditating. Are you just not asleep enough? Because I know for a fact I talk and walk when I'm going through very stressful times in my life. Yeah, that would make sense. When I'm not stressed, I just go to sleep. When I am stressed, I'm in some sort of weird limbo. I feel like I'm not that stressed right now. I even got a watch to monitor my stress levels, and it says I'm not that stressed.

That's the most stressed thing a person can do though. Right. Try to figure out how stressed I am. Is it your heart rate and blood pressure and stuff? Yeah, it's supposed to be. It's supposed to be. Yeah, 112 BPM. What I want is a watch that maybe that's how it measures it, but I want

the screen to be like stressed as fuck. Break it down. Like You need to chill. Seriously, this is getting dangerous. I'm like, I don't really get the numbers. Those are probably not good. Actually, that's true. You're right.

102. 102 heart rate? Yeah. That's a little high. Really? Yeah, I want to say you're in the 80s. Remember when I got to 120? Oh, no.

I'm in the 80s, and I'm crazy high. What? Also, we're not doing it, it's not resting, we're basically running. There was one time we had a heart monitor and I strapped it on and I was in the 90s and the 100s and I started to freak out, remember that?

Right. And then I was like, let's see how high we can get it. I would just get myself hooked up and it was like 110, 115, 120 and I was like, I'm going to die podcasting. Cause of death, heart exploded while doing a podcast. Viral video. Yeah, man.

Sure. I definitely, if I'm going to die soon, please let it be on camera. Amen. I say that every day. All the fucking time. Or maybe not die. I want to be able to reap the benefits of the new followers. And then I can cash out.

True. Absolutely. See you later. I'm sure you've probably talked about it and told the story a million times but the bit from your stand up about being on tour with Louis is just it's so

fucking funny thank you I appreciate that and it's obviously you know there's some obviously not funny parts of that story but it's also so unique you're one of like the only people in the world that were like, unfortunately, but for a comedian, kind of interestingly, a part of it. I was worried about doing that one. Cause I didn't want it to seem like I was like making fun of him.

I just want to be making fun of myself. And I'm kind of nervous. Cause like I've seen him around a couple of times. We always have like really friendly exchanges, but I wonder if he's seen that joke. And then I want to be like, wasn't making because I used to have I mean not to get too into all of that but like I didn't want him to think I was making fun of him

yeah well so for the people who don't know you're kind of saying you were the only person that Louis didn't do that in front of I'm sure he didn't do it in front of a lot of people yeah my mom asked she was like did he jerk off I kind of made the whole thing up but I mean I did open for him but some version of my mom was like did he jerk off in front of you and i said no

and she was like oh were you the only one and then i like do a whole thing about it but i like didn't want it to seem like i was making fun of him too much right right no i i didn't i never took it that way okay i thought it was just a very good self-deprecating bit about like well why wouldn't you jerk off in front of me what the hell you do kind of get to like a what am i not hot enough exactly i literally got i had um bad acne and i took accutane like pretty much around that and not like that kind of like pushed me to go in and do the accutane that was it because i had like bad acne and like i was like i'm scared of taking accutane because yeah you might kill yourself exactly so i went in and i was like you know what like i'm ready like let's do it

i told that she was like you need to go be on something else i think it's deep depression and insecurity you might have some other issues that's fucking hilarious accutane was wild we've said man they i, I think Accutane was – how old are you? I'm 36, but I didn't get Botox. So right. That's why I look maybe younger. But this era of ours grew up on like, hey, you got pimples. Take this medicine.

It will fucking work. But you also might kill yourself. And parents, mothers, everyone were like, okay. Yeah. Because you know what else is going to kill this fucking these pimples i'm gonna kill myself over this fucking face i remember i was taking a medication that it was an acne thing i forget what it was it wasn't accutane it was but it was it was something that was like harsh on your liver right and i started taking when i was like 14 or 15 and and i never even had that but i

got like a pimple and was like mom i gotta go to a dermatologist like that like when you're a kid it feels like the end of the world. Right, right. Getting like one. And so I go to a dermatologist. I get on this medicine that's like, again, pretty harsh on your liver. And then when I end up, when I'm like 22 or 23, I go back to a doctor. They run the full test.

And they're like, your liver enzymes are like a little high. Like, do you drink alcohol? And I was like, yeah. Yeah. And they're like, well, you. Do you drink alcohol? I was like, yeah. And they're like, well, you're not allowed to on this medication. Oh, shit. And I was like, well, they gave it to me seven years ago. No one mentioned it. It wasn't at a time when you would tell someone.

Someone along the way should have told me, hey, if you're still on this medicine, stop fucking drinking on it. Information I could have used months ago. Imagine that, though. You're 14. the doctor's like, so listen, in a few years, you're going to be a degenerate binge drinker, okay? And you can't do that, kiddo. And it was. I was of legal

drinking age for a year or two, but I'd been drinking for probably five, six years. Probably like a year after you got that. Did it do permanent damage? No, no, no, no, no. It was all the other behavior that did it. Right. But, I mean, no, no, no, no. It was all the other behavior that did it. Right. But, I mean, between the Accutane,

girls getting on birth control when they're like 10, and Ritalin and Adderall. Yes. Like, I mean. It's a lot of pills. Yeah, and I'm pretty sure we're all going to hit, you know, like 70 and go like blind and deaf and drop dead, and they're going to be like, why?

Like historians will look back to be like, why? Historians will look back and be like, they were doing all of that? Oh, and they were on phones and computers 22 hours a day. I think about that too. I always say I think that sociologists or whatever are going to be like, can you believe that they just had access

to social media all the time? They never limited themselves at all. Crazy. Because that's doing shit to our brain that I think is worse than anything. Yeah. And when you try to limit it, like, I feel like it's mocking me almost like the other day,

Instagram said, I set, try to set a thing where I could only be on it for two hours. And then it said, you've, it was, I think it was literally maybe 9am. And I was just like,

and it says you reached your limit. And I was like, Oh, we're just getting started. We're running it up today, baby. I was like, no, no, no. My phone will literally say i've been on social media for like 20 it'll sometimes i swear it's like 24 hours yeah no it's nuts it's crazy and then uh uh i i went away for a couple days like which is a very rare occurrence and my screen time was down 26 percent that week and i was all proud

of myself but i realized it was only because because I just took a couple days off. I went right back up. It's not because I changed any habits. It is sickening. I've gotten to the point I'm on the phone in the shower. Really? That's impressive. I listen to podcasts and music in the shower

and I just have a little shelf that I put it on so I can hear it. But then it's also right there. You don't have a waterproof protection. Doesn't it get water splashed on it? A little bit, but it's like... That's crazy to be like, well, yeah, of course it does.

It's like parallel to it. You've got a system. It really doesn't get wet. I'm sure some splashes, but it's just because... I will say this. Shout out to Nick, our producer. I'm going to buy you an Amazon thing. How about that? An Amazon thing?

Like a fucking speaker. Oh, yeah. If I bought you a speaker, would you use speaker, Kev? I have a speaker. I already have. So the answer to that is a no. Yeah. But the problem is, too, you've got to get your hands on the phone.

Otherwise, it's going to be stuck playing something you don't want to be stuck listening to. Sometimes my alarm goes off. I've already had the shower get turned off. But we always get credit. We always get mentions that our volume is high enough, Nick. So good job. Because a lot of these podcasts out here aren't high enough. And even though I do have the speaker, I don't have it set up.

So I put it near me. But then here's the thing. I also enjoy the shower. I'm hanging out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's kind of like a little party. It's you time. So then I'm like, yeah, let me check out what's going on. Absolutely.

Just browsing through music, browsing through podcasts. I've done it. Yeah. You don't act like you're above being on the phone. I've done it. I am 100% above being on the phone in the shower. I'll say that. I'm above literally nothing else on the planet. Why?

Why don't you go above that? You should try it. It's great. I don't have... To me, the shower is a social time. I'm hanging out. You know how I very generously offered to buy you a speaker? If you perhaps very generously offered to have a

handyman come build me a shelf that sure that close to sure my shower head yeah now it is a high shower head i'm a rain guy oh okay oh a nice shower head is like it would be in fact it just went there just went like a viral clip with like guys talking about guys get there get shampoo out of their hair by looking at the shower head. And girls get out behind it. Wait, what? I think that's just a short hair, long hair thing, to be honest.

At least a short person thing. So you'll go like this? Yeah, you turn around. I think so. I thought it was going to be a short hair thing. I look at the shower and I put my head down. I don't know what the hell I do in there. I think in general, not like to wash my hair. I think in general, not even just washing your hair, the idea is supposed to be that girls turn.

Oh, no. I think I go like this. I go face. I'm drinking it. I'm spitting it. I'm just giving myself a face. It is. I think it makes more sense.

Now, I think it's because I don't think it's really a guy-girl thing. I think it's a height thing. Right. I think it's because I don't think it's really a guy-girl thing. I think it's a height thing. Right. Because most women are under the shower heads. Right, right, right, right. Whereas a guy, like, when the shower's hitting me in the shoulders. Right. So, like, leaning back like that would be crazy.

Yeah. So it's easier to just turn this way and go like that. I've also potentially come up with another thing as well. Because any girl I've ever been in the shower with makes that shit hot as fuck and I think that's a hype thing too I hate, I'm not into doing the shower stuff, I feel like it sounds better than

actually, 100% I'm talking about literally, again, just hanging out shower sex and 69ing to me is you're done when you're fucking 15 it's cool, you put your nose in some totally agree. You're done when you're fucking 15. Totally. 100%. It's cool. You put your nose in some places. Totally.

You see some things. Right. But you're not receiving. You're not enjoying it because you're not relaxed. You're not doing your best because your neck's all fucked up. Yeah, it's a whole thing. I disagree with everyone here. I know.

He's a weird little fucking- Oh, you're good 69. Well, but I think we're on the same page that it's not like- It's a novelty. It's a novelty. You're having it for the effect. A lot of novelty. And so is shower sex where it's just like, ironically, the water makes things drier. It's a novelty. It's a novelty. You're having it for the effect. A lot of novelty things. And so is shower sex, where it's just like, ironically, the water makes things drier.

It's crazy. Have you ever been in a shower that has it from, I was in this really fancy shower once, and it had it from multiple, and you go like this, and then different ones would shoot out. You can clap. Like a clapper? Yep. Whoa.

See, I'll tell you what. I wouldn't, I don't think I'd shower. You wouldn't? I think I'd say say this is a little confusing for me this is above my pay grade too much clapping whenever i shower at a friend's place the miami hotel i knew it about him this was a moment where i was like we really are like a married couple yeah we got to miami we go to our separate rooms i go to take a shower it was like a high-tech one and i filmed it and i was I was like, John's not going to know how to do this.

John's going to be out on this shower. I tried, and I didn't even know how to do it. I jumped in the pool. I was like, I'm not doing this. Too many knobs. Yeah, when you're trying to figure out what does what, this is pressure, this is temperature, this is so-and-so, this one's this nozzle, this one's that nozzle. Do you know what I'm a huge fan of, though?

The moving one? Digital temperature. That's a what I'm a huge fan of though? The moving one? Digital temperature. I don't. That's a world I don't live in. I also appreciate that too. Because then you just know. Yeah, that's the clapping one. I was at some relative's house and they had a really very nice house when I went in. They had a digital thing and it played music

in there. It was pretty sweet. I feel like I've only done it once. Really? I would guess 80. I was going to say 72 for me, but I don't even know what temperature I like. Really? I would guess 80. I was going to say 72 for me, but I don't even know what I'm talking about. Guys, you're both idiots. Really? It's like 100.

Really? Yes. 72? You said 72? I'm all fucked up with temperature. 72 is like the ocean temperature. Yeah, it's a nice temperature. To shower in?

I'd go a little warmer than that. Like a nice ocean. 70 degree shower would I'd go a little warmer than that. Like a nice ocean. 70 degree shower would be like freezing cold. Really? Yes. Because I've got this, what's it called? It's like an infrared sauna sleeping bag thing. Oh, yeah.

Lovely. What's that? I can't recommend it enough. There's one called higher dose. No, it's like that, but it's much smaller. Actually, it's not like that at all. It's like that and it's a health thing, but it's the opposite of that because it's super hot.

But that, I think, is 100 and I'm sweating my brains out. Well, yeah. I mean, you're, you know, a hot shower. Maybe it's 180. Really? Really? Now that I look you in the eyes, I think I got that right.

It's not like, I think air temperature and water temperature are very different things. I remember when we were in Miami the eyes, I think I got that wrong. It's not like – I think air temperature and water temperature are very different things. I remember when we were in Miami, that – I remember pushing it to like – I was like high 100s. And I wanted to be like, I'm going to get to 110. I want to get to 110. Oh, high – okay. I was thinking like high 100 and like – No, no.

Yeah, 100 to 110. But whatever the number may be, fucking fucking 32 degrees whatever uh you just know it so you just get in the shower and boom right and then you know your shower that you know because even to this day i know kind of where my knob needs to go but not totally really so little things like that make your life so much easier and streamlined yeah because there's so many things where i'm like man i feel like everything's a thing because i always am losing stuff and another time minute of your life don't have the time gotta get back on Instagram

I'm not having time for this shit I do feel like my temperature does change sometimes though sometimes I get in and the same knob I'm like this is burning me but what I was saying about the girls is we're closer to the shower head

and that water pressure is changing that much. Because if you like sit on the floor of the shower, it gets like cold. You've had some tough days, huh? I was just going to say, the only time I've done that is when I'm super depressed. But I get it. I so get it.

I so get it. I told you, it's a social thing for me. I'm hanging out in there. But yeah, also wildly depressed yes you sit on a short floor your shower is a tough visual what is it

better than you're better than me if you were sitting in your shower mine well no why would you sit in the shower be better than me because okay I can tell you exactly why because I would in my shower I would be crisscross applesauce. So would I. No, because you have a tub shower.

No, I don't. Yes, you do. I mean, I have a tub, but I have a shower. Oh, you do? Ooh, lovely. Okay, all right, so I'm misremembering your bet. I think in a tub shower, when you're more fetal position.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. That's it. You're a pervert. No, I would just do Indian style and just sit there I love it if I could take an hour shower every day

I basically do I just build that hour in I'm going to hang out here for a while not an hour, that's a really long time do you guys do cryotherapy? I've done freezing it's so cold

I've done Russian baths's cold or hot? Freezing. It's so cold. I'm not a fan of that, I don't think. I've done Russian baths. I've never done that. You go back and forth. They have the ice room, and then they have the ice pool, and then they also have the Spitz room. It's crazy. There was a time I was there once, and this dude was like, he was,

the characters you run into at a Russian bathhouse. I can imagine. Are literally exactly what you can imagine. Yeah. Like, there are no surprises at Russian Bathhouse. Right, right, right, right. It's like, boy, you really are living up to the service. Yeah.

They are exactly what they are. On the nose. And there was one time where this guy, he had, like, he had, almost looked like, you ever seen the movie Eastern Promises with V.O. Mortensen? No. Like, the fight, naked fight scene? It's like 10 naked dudes fighting. It's a wild scene.

But they're all covered in tattoos like Russian mafia men. And this guy is covered in tattoos, got big angel wings on his back. And they're all very nice. They all – Do they talk in there? Yeah. Oh, talk. Oh, I hate that.

They want to grow the community. So they're teaching me how to do it. So they're being like, all right, so here's how you – because I wouldn't know. Right. You want to be in here for only three or four minutes. to do it. So they're being like, here's how you do it. Because I wouldn't know. You want to be in here for only three or four minutes. Then you jump into the cold pool. Okay, that's nice. Then you head over to the Russian bath for three to four minutes. How long are you in your thing?

The cryo thing, two or three minutes. But the sauna thing, I'll sit in there a long time. Is it a sleeping bag, you said? It's a sleeping bag. It's an infrared sauna sleeping bag. I think you're only supposed to be in there for 45 minutes, but when I'm really cold, I'll run home and then go get in it. Do you have clothes on?

Yeah. Yeah. I tried doing it without clothes. It wasn't good. Can't recommend. Don't recommend. Don't recommend. Zero out of ten.

Do not recommend. And I kept moving my legs and feet around. It was too hot, and I was like, eew, eew, eew. Instead of getting out, I just kept wiggling myself and then finally I was like, but it's the type of thing no one's going to have any sympathy. Yeah, no, you're doing that to yourself. I have not done this yet, the sleeping bag thing.

I'm a huge weighted blanket fan. I like a weighted blanket. I like a weighted blanket. I don't know why I don't love it. I don't know why I don't get hot, but I don't, because people are always like, I'm going to sweat

and I run hot and I don't sweat. I don't know.. Because people are always like, I'm going to sweat. And I run hot. And I don't sweat. I don't know. I also have one that is technically cooling. I don't know how that works. It's a blanket, but it's cooling. Yeah, they do that a lot with the blankets and the comforters, cooling comforters. What is that? Is it just a marketing thing? Probably. I wish I thought of something like that.

Cooling socks. Maybe I'll try to do that. Just say it, though. Cooling is from the Himalayan mountains. Buzzwords. The Himalayan mountains are right. They're big time right now. If the Himalayan mountains could sue, they would. Oh, absolutely.

You're just using my name on everything. Yeah, none of this shit comes from me. But the blanket, inherently, the main job is to keep you warm. Right. So then how can you say, but it's also cooling. Right. It must just be like it can breathe a little bit or something. How weighted is your blanket?

So I've got a 25-pounder. Okay, maybe that was my problem because I've got a 45-pounder. Whoa! Yeah, it was a lot. It was like the heaviest one. I cranked it up. You've done two. I've done two that got me to 45.

Yeah, it's a lot. Got me to 40. 45. It was comforting, but then I remember when I had to move it, I was like this. That's got to be like half your body weight. That's a lot. Yeah, that's also like. I think it, this. That's got to be like half your body weight. That's a lot. Yeah. I think it was 45.

I got to start paying more attention to numbers. I'm an idiot. I'm really dumb. You get that. It happened to me, so I imagine it's happened to you as well. But when you're under 45, your feet are going. Yeah. That is a problem for me.

If I sleep very soundly under the blanket, I wake up and I'm stiff because I haven't even wiggled or rolled over at all because that's just keeping me locked in. Right. But it's also keeping me asleep because I'm depressed and anxious at night and this thing helps me out. I'm glad you don't sleep from the anxiety. Yeah. Because I think that maybe if we got a heavy enough blanket blanket I even thought one time about tying my feet to something so it would wake me up before I could get up but that seemed too much

like getting either a really heavy weighted blanket or tying my feet like if I know I'm going to be super anxious oh so you're not moving and shit and so I don't wake up and go eat I even put a lock on my refrigerator one time oh you are deep in the game I'm deep in the game.

It's a big problem. It's crazy. It's crazy. If you've got like a padlock on your fridge, you're nuts. Well, I never locked it though. I couldn't cross the line. I put it on there. Yeah. This is what I was single to and I was like, I can't have someone over to the apartment

and then like, how do I explain this? Oh, that's just my sleeping life. Yeah, but yeah. What about, God forbid, you fucking tie yourself up and there's like a fire or something. That's why I didn't do it could you imagine they find your remains and it's just a charred

fucking ankle tied to it by myself like who is she with I've heard of auto association how about

you know arson that's why I didn't do it but that's as close as I got to like being like I gotta figure this out that is

those are extra steps that's like you really I got to being like, I got to figure this out. That is. Those are extra steps, though. That's like you really have. The only extra step I ever took was like, I'll get really high before bed and maybe I'll sleep deep enough. And turns out that makes you hungry. You know what the problem is? I eat too much at night. So what I'm going to do?

Smoke weed. I get so stereotypically high. I get giggly and eat. Oh, giggly is nice. It's nice, but it's like, I can't, you would be annoyed to be high around me. Because I'm like a high school kid who's giggling, and then the munchies.

Have you ever been high before? I'm like, yeah, it always happens this way. I get that. But then I eat. There was a period of time where I was smoking a lot, I was just eating. I'm admitting a lot of depressing things. I was just eating straight fucking slices of white bread. Oh, yeah.

Good old Wonder Bread. I fucking love white bread. What? I love, because I didn't grow up with any of that stuff. My mom's a health nut. I remember I had this friend, Harrison Hines, and his mom had white bread. I remember I'd always be going in. I was stealing from them, basically.

At that point, I crossed the line from, oh, your friend can have some snacks. Like I was eating all their white bread. And I remember it so well. I loved it. My mom and I one time broke into a friend's house. To get their white bread. No, to steal their cake. Oh, what?

Like that joke was not far off from the reality. No, they had a cake and it was really good. My mom was like, you want to go in and get it? I was like, fuck yeah, I want to go in and get it. His mom is a recurring character here. That might be her weirdest story. What? Break in?

You couldn't ask for some cake? She knew they don't lock their doors. She was like, they don't lock their doors. Was this some sort of special couldn't's not just they make a really good story and so we just like we were like outside i have to have this cake now it's a good ad for some incredible cake how much did you guys have we ate we took the cake oh did you ever tell them i i think maybe no no maybe maybe we just took a few. Nah, we must have taken it. Because that would be bad burglars.

Because they probably wouldn't notice a slice or two missing. If it was just a whole cake. Oh, you wanted them to know. If it was fresh. Yeah. If it was fresh. But like in Seinfeld, Elaine, when she's like, there's already a piece taken. Or she kind of cuts the edges.

Oh, yeah. You could if it was already sliced. It was definitely already sliced. Because the reason I wanted more is I already had a slice. And I got home and I was like, hey, they make great cake. How old were you? Two years ago. I would say I was 11.

Your mom just, you never had a shot, dude. You never had a shot at being a good person. Did it affect your friendship with these people? Were you at their house? No, they're family. Do they know it was you? We later confessed. What do you guys have, the five-year-old?

Not in a week after, but in a five-year-old. It wasn't super long until we confessed. Right, and they weren't freaking out. They weren't like, what kind of psychopath? They knew it was good cake. When you got good cake on the property, people are going to try to break it. That is the best compliment you can get. Absolutely.

It might be such a bomb-ass cake that people fucking break it and steal it. I hate to victim blame, but if you're going to keep something like that in the house, lock it up. You're asking for it. Social media these days, someone's going to just clip that. You're like, I hate to victim blame, but... And then just cut something like, oh, God, just on loop. You know what I mean? Like Zales Jewale's jewelry they lock up when they leave the house

true okay precious you got a fucking cake in there you're locked door just a chocolate cake it was um it was it was her grandmother's recipes my aunt's grandmother's recipe it's always a fucking grandma and yeah i used to work for her um I was much younger as like butter. It's always the secret. Yeah, just butter and salt. Butter and salt. Butter and salt. It was like she had a catering company. And I was like, you make the best lobster corn chowder.

What do you put in it? Butter. You make the best cake. What's in it? Butter. It was always just like a shitload of butter and everything. It really is an easy cheat code. I actually was just reading Anthony Bourdain, and he had the same thing.

He was like, people are like, how do you make food because it's good food? He's like, it's butter. It's all butter. If you're out to eat, ordering the healthy meal, you're eating just shitloads of fucking butter. Did you read his biography? I didn't. I never read books.

I didn't. I read Kitchen Confidential recently, which I thought was good. I wasn't like, holy shit, it's unbelievable. I thought it was very good, but that's the most. I'm not like a Bourdain maniac, but people tell me a lot. People love him. I mean, he was a cool cat. Absolutely.

One of those after-death things where he became an icon. Absolutely. He wasn't even in live. I think he's an icon in a field, and then after death, people just talk about it more. Yeah. He was already a monster. He was super. For sure.

But that's what I mean. I think he became more of a life icon not just a celebrity chef sort of thing. Yeah. Because it was tragic and he overcame drugs

and then obviously succumbed to it so a lot of it was like that. I should read his biography because I probably read a couple biographies a year but I would read his biography. Yeah. I mean he seems like one of the most interesting cats out there. I read Kevin Hart's one. try I probably read like a couple biographies a year but I would read his biography yeah I mean he seems like one of the most

interesting cats out there I read Kevin Hart's one did you guys read that one no he's awesome yeah I read that one that was great he is

he's almost too successful I know what the fuck I'm glad you said it we kind of we just interviewed him and Nelly a little while ago

Nelly yeah you guys had them on the same episode yeah they were together whoa are they friends you want to hear a story please Nelly the reason I ago. Nelly? You guys had them on the same episode? Yeah, they were together. Whoa, are they friends? You want to hear a story? Please, Nelly. The reason I brought it up is because their wives

are doing a Real Housewives sort of thing. I can't remember the name of it. It's called the Husbands of Hollywood. House Husbands of Hollywood. Okay, so that's what it was. My point being that I was like, how much money do you need, Kevin Hart? But Nelly is on that with him. While we were interviewing him,

Nelly's sex tape went viral. I didn't know Nelly had a sex tape. So, well, sex tape is a broad term. A video of a girl sucking a dick, we don't really know if it was his or not, was posted to Nelly's Instagram stories. So it says, like, Nelly, and then she's going at it.

He came out and apologized. It was him. Oh, really? He tried to play the hacked card at first. Which is so silly. It definitely must have gotten hacked. Even if it is him, he probably didn't want to post it. I think he said that was supposed to be a private message or something. Yeah, I'd say so.

But get this, while we're interviewing him is when the thing goes viral and we're mid-interview. And he looks down at his phone. He goes, oh, God. And his whole demeanor shifted. And he showed it to Kevin.

And Kevin was like, oh. And the whole interview was very kind of disconnected. And we were like, well, that kind of sucked. What's going on? And then we went back and looked afterwards. Like, oh, it's because he realized his dick was on the internet mid-interview. That's insane. Yeah, he wore it well.

Yeah, he was just like, eh. If I had a sex tape leak in the middle of this interview, I'd be like, hey, I got to run. Yeah, yeah. 100%. I would just walk into traffic. I got to go kill myself. You know, I'm mad at that.

Yeah. I'd grab that and I'd walk into traffic. I'm out. Nelly is awesome. Nelly was, I mean, it was,. I'm out. Nelly is awesome. Nelly was, I mean, it was, I wanted to crack at Nelly

because it was not, you know, but he, yeah, he is very successful. I don't think people quite realize how many records he sold.

Like, 10 million. That's a big number. Was it 10 million? His first album went fucking diamonds. So many times. Even,

I was like a fan of Murphy Lee. St. Lunatics? Yeah, absolutely. We got a guy here who he loves St. Lunatics and he went to jail one night for intoxication purposes, whatever he did. And he said the last thing he remembers was a St. Lunatics song came on

and they were like, yeah, shots. And he did that and then went to jail. Woke up in prison. What'd you do after that? I get starstruck by musicians. Yeah is that your thing? I don't know what it is, like with actors or comedians I mean I'll be like oh great whatever but like something about like the only

time I've really geeked out was I was backstage somewhere so it's totally inappropriate because backstage supposed to be like keeping it cool and it was for this like big outdoor concert and ashanti was there and i was like a pretty big ashanti fan but for whatever reason i watched her go by and she was on a golf cart going to the stage going really slow so she's moving slowly by me and security and as she's going by really slow she's just looking forward i went i'm a big fan you're gonna be awesome big fan big fan big fan and then she doesn't even turn her head and just keeps going slow pace too. So you, she doesn't turn.

And then the security guy just went, really? And I was like, ah, you didn't do anything. I mean, that's fine. The only thing I would say about that is it's not cool.

I know. I like Ashanti. I know. But you know, if it was like Mariah Carey or like a diva, but Ashanti. I know. I like Ashanti. I know. But, you know, if it was like Mariah Carey or like a diva. But Ashanti's like, Ellie, I had like,

you know, three, four hits. And this was probably, maybe it was like eight years ago because I remember she was like, thank you guys so much

for coming out to see me but it was like a big concert and I was like, I don't know if they're here to see you or the overall show. So I was talking shit backstage too.

And she was like, I'm the princess of hip hop and R&B is here and I was like, I don't know if they're here to see you or the overall show. So I was talking shit backstage too. And she was like, I'm the princess of hip-hop and R&B is here. And I was like, Rihanna? But literally moments before I was like, I love you! It's a fucking monster. But I geek out by music. I think Nelly, I'd be like... You are a comic and

it's similar to acting that you're not as impressed with that. Maybe. Are you musically inclined at all? No. Yeah, me neither. Not at all. I would love to be a drummer.

I think that's the coolest thing in the world. Or just have good pipes if I could sing. Totally. But I got nothing in that department. Me neither. Nothing. And not that I could be a stand-up comic or an actor, but it's like,

I could, in some sense, I could be on set for a movie scene. Absolutely. There is no world that I could be on stage singing to a fucking sold-out arena. 100% saying. Not a chance. Not a good world. If you could, would you do music?

Or if you had your pick of winning an Oscar, winning an Emmy, winning a Grammy. And being actually good at the thing? Yeah, yeah. Oh my God. I guess a Grammy because it'd be so out of left field. Everyone would be like, what?

You didn't know about that? Yeah, I can sing. You didn't know? You should have a Latin award. Yes. All of a sudden, you're like, yeah, I'm huge in South America.

Could you imagine? That would be the shit. That's such a card to play too. Oh, Brazil loves me I get mobbed when I go to Brazil I was about to say I'm big in Wisconsin even in this hypothetical scenario I'm like yeah North Dakota

loves me we can't get enough that's like Hasselhoff in Germany and that happened with Mark Wahlberg which I didn't know until you just brought that up oh really? because you know he had his rap career in the beginning. Of course.

And then he stopped doing that, but he was big in Hamburg. Huh. Germany just loves bad music actors. Germany loves white guys. There's something about this guy. We love him. I have a question. Anything.

Are you actually a porn commenter? No. Okay. No. Because that is a good line to keep as well, I think. Thank you. I appreciate that. And he's asking because I have a joke about it.

Yeah. He's not just like looking at that shirt. I don't really comment on porn because I'm getting a vibe. Comments are vibes. Yeah. No, the collar's too tight on that shirt. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I do.

You can stretch that a little. I've thumbsed up. Well, this was. Okay I do. You need to stretch that a little more. I've thumbsed up. Well, this was, okay. Okay, you're getting there. I'm getting there. Do you have a name? No.

Okay. The day that you sign up, that's the first domino that falls? 100%. Because once you're going to do that, you might as well just fucking let her rip. Absolutely. What would your porn name be? Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Shit. I don't know. I'd have to really. Do you know what your porn name would be? I mean, I guess I would just do my regular handles. But if I was doing a porn name. You as a porn star or you as a porn commenter? Commenter.

Oh, yeah. Commenter, I'd be like. I'd probably do the same thing. My commenter name, I would do one of those fucking things that we did back in the day. Right. Like your porn name would be this plus this. Mine was always fire.

It was your first pet plus the street you live on was the one I grew up with. Godzilla Highland. Your dick is way too small to be Godzilla. You gotta have a hammer of your Godzilla. You have to have been in a factory accident to be Godzilla.

His first pet plus first street name? Yeah, the street you grew up on. I would be Jax Fordham. I kind of like that. Jax is cool. Fordham is a bit... One time I lived...

Jax Witherby ooh and I would be like like a you know I'd be a porn character that like is yeah you'd be fucking

the maid or something yeah exactly that it is one of those things that like we did this recently with like you're drafting like football players as movie characters

movie characters as football players and uh anything you say you can say it as a football player and a porn star is kind of the same thing. Like Jax Fordham.

You say that voice with that name. Oh, yeah, he fucks. Basically any name but John Feidelberg. He can make you sound right. But you also said something interesting. You said you view it as the guy, right? Yeah, I always watch straight porn. So I always self-actualize as the guy. Yeah, I always watch straight porn, so I always self-actualize

as the guy. This is something about porn commenting I learned recently. So my girlfriend was like, before she knew I was a porn commenter, she was like, I can't believe people actually think that those aren't robots. She was like, all the comments on porn videos

are robots. And I was like, not all the comments are robots. 99% but but i didn't know that uh i didn't is that true like how smart can these robots be i think when you see ones that are like come check out my wet pussy on my page that is you know but then sometimes you see one where like this has kind of made me sad like she was like when you see the one's comment like oh like it's supposed to be from a girl like oh i wish someone would fuck me like that i'd watch those like yeah fucking hey and she said no that's why i mean i'm not gonna do it but porn hub specifically their comment section is one of the more pleasant comment sections in the world and you do have the guys who are like you know uh i wish i had like

love but i keep finding myself on porn hub and it's you know not good for me and in the comments like you got this king don't worry dude yes i've seen thoseub and it's not good for me. And in the comments, you got this, King. Don't worry, dude. Yes, I've seen those. It's so funny when that's happening, but then sprinkled in is like, my gaping asshole's on my page. It's like, we're doing something here.

Okay. Try not to be serious, Connelly. Rotsy, okay? Steve's having a hardship right now. That's actually what made me write about that was because I saw someone post like that. He was like, dude, I just came. I'm so lonely.

I didn't think I was lonely and then I found this. Also, will anyone play Minecraft with me? Thumbs up. Yeah, I play Minecraft. Let's fucking go. But wait, so you watch and you kind of pretend you're the dude. Yeah, like seeing it through those eyes. Yes, so I always

I've never I've always watched straight porn. Sometimes I'll even watch gay guy porn. I don't know why. I'll tell you why. Well, I kind of know why. Because lesbian porn sucks. Lesbian porn is for 14-year-old boys, and that's it.

Yeah, it's true. Because you're thinking it's just like boobs and more boobs, and then like they're eating pussy. Watching someone eat pussy is so boring. Yeah. It's like this, there's no motion. There's no, nobody pussy is so boring. There's no motion. There's no, oh, he's choking on anything. It's just boring.

If someone was talking really dirty why someone was eating their pussy. But if someone's talking dirty, I can pretty much get into anything. You know what I'm saying? You said that. You said you're verbal. Totally. Actually, yeah. I could probably much, if someone was just eating Cheetos, I'm a fucking whore.

I'll be like, yeah. You could have a book and just read it and I'd be like yep yep yep. That's true. These are the stages. We're fucking deviants. Most people are like I want to watch someone have sex. I'm like I love the interview ahead of time where they

list out explicitly what they've done sexually. When was the first blowjob? What was their first anal? I'm like more more. Did you see that documentary about the like porn house in Florida? I don't know I'm like, more, more. Did you see that documentary about the, like, porn house in Florida? I don't know why I'm putting it in quotes. Did you see that? No. I did not.

I avoid porn documentaries because they make me sad. Yeah. Yeah. I was going to say, in good faith, I don't know. I don't know what the moral line is to recommend it or not recommend it because it is good info. But, God, it was depressing. Oh, God. I was watching and there was this one girl and she was like, I just can't believe that there's actually like

men out there that think, it was talking about like, she was doing a porn where it was like her uncle got left at home with her or step uncle and then they fuck or something. She's like, I just can't believe there's actually guys out there that think we would want to be with like

an older like ugly guy like that. And I was like eating popcorn like, I know, I know. I just kind of did. But it's like it ruins it and you see like the aftermath of

her boyfriend in real life is getting made fun of at a party like isn't your girlfriend like a porn star and he's like well she's like does a lot of wonderful things too

like I really love her they're ripping him I mean yeah I've always said out of every genre of people we've ever interviewed the adult stars

have been the nicest coolest people oh really oh that's interesting. That's awesome. You know, as a whole. Sure. Like, everybody's really cool. Probably millionaires a zillion times over, you would never know it. I hope so. I hope they're getting, like, the back end.

Yeah, we do talk to the tip-top because that's the thing about porn. True, true. The gap between top and bottom, very, very different. Totally. The ones we talk to have the... Their pussies are molded after them i mean you know when you are mass producing your pussy you've made it have you guys interviewed anyone you've like had sex with their pussy for sale no no that that's a good question but that'd be interesting we. I feel like that's a great... I would be awkward. Yeah, I'd be hard to bring it up.

We had a third co-host for a while, Asa Akira, who's one of the top porn stars for 15 years. Everyone else is in and out. 15 years? Oh, at least. How did she do that? She's Asian and ages well. That'll do it!

And I think she takes care of herself naturally and medically and but when we started like co-hosting with her I was like

I don't think I'm gonna watch your shit anymore yeah no for sure it was weird and when I would I'd be like

that's my co-worker yeah covered income I couldn't agree more I don't want a hint of knowing anything about the actual person. Yeah, I need it to be separate. I need it to be totally.

Especially because it's like, I need to demean you and treat you like a treat whore. Exactly. It's a technical glory hole. Yes. It is. An emotional glory hole. Right. I have to put that up.

A complete separation here. A separation of church and state. I like that. Yeah, that is good terminology. I like that. An emotional glory hole. Maybe that would be my porn name. That would be. I don't know how, but that's a good special name.

Your next special should be called emotional glory hole. That's a great name. Thank you, I appreciate that. I didn't know porn stars were getting so much money on the back end. It's not the back end, it's OnlyFans and stuff like that. I have a friend that does that. That is amazing. I didn't know porn stars were getting so much money on the back end. Well, it's not the back end. It's OnlyFans and stuff like that. That's huge. I have a friend that does that.

My friend Karen. She's a comic. She does that. Oh, yeah. Yeah, Karen. Yeah. She talks about it. Karen.

Yeah, she does. She talks about her stand-up too. Oh, Karen. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. If you do get to the level of the fleshlights, though, they say that's like their biggest paycheck as well. Really?

Because motherfuckers are buying those apparently. See, I'm glad they're paying them though and they're not just like slapping their name on it because it's not like most people would be able to actually tell if it's like,

you know what I'm saying? Alana Rhodes told us she was like, I just want everyone to know like my pussy's tighter than that. And I was like, I put my dick in some things before.

They make a lot of those things pretty tight. If your pussy's tighter than that, you might have some sort of problem. Right, totally. Also, how would she know? Is she fingering it to be like, ah? Probably.

I'd probably sit there and be like, mm. Which, like, put up a glory hole, like, which one's real? Which one's not? But the flashlight thing is like nobody admits to it. Very few people would be like, I have one, but they are all out there and a lot of money. That's great. Good for them. I bought one once and I threw it away. Really?

I used it and I threw it away because I was like, I can't be cleaning it. Yeah. I couldn't picture myself in a shower with one. Yeah. And I was like, in the shower with this. They're humongous.

Really? They're like the size of this bottle. Maybe probably bigger than this bottle. And I was like, I can't be showering with a bottle of whiskey.

Yeah, how do you clean it? Did you fuck it or did you jerk it? Did you hold it? Emma, it is nice to meet you. You can tell I'm very comfortable with Emma. Yeah, of course. This is the highest compliment I can give you.

I've seen porns where they, like, I've watched porns where they'll, like, fuck the light. And then I've also watched ones where they do that. I don't really get it. That's just, like, when I'm clicking around and it pops up. They do need to just make one that just... Does it for you? Yeah. You're talking fuck machines.

But what if... But I don't want to buy a machine. I want to buy something that just goes on and just... And I go... What if it had a technical glitch, though? Yeah. That'd be a huge liability. Right.

You'd be like... Twist it up, take it off, and fly it around the rooms. Too much. But that's a good idea. Yeah. How much does that cost? Leave a stamp idea. Yeah. How much does that cost? Leave a stamp on the world. How much does a flashlight cost?

$50. I want to say, no, over $100. Oh, good. Yeah. I'm going to check it out. They got you by the balls literally on that one, so they know. If you're at the point of checking out, they can be like, here's a flashlight for $99.99,

and then when you get to check out, they're like, actually, it's $2.99. You're probably committed. You're right. That's true. I'm buying that shit. That's true. We crossed the line.

I know Adriana Cechik bought all of her. $80. $80. Okay. That's a good deal. Yeah. I feel like that's. If you use it and want that shit.

Absolutely. A lot of nuts out of that. 100%. Yeah. That's a good. Crack a lot of almond milk in there. And also, it's a nice you don't

I feel like if you're paying less for that then it might you want to pay like trash yeah quality yeah

fuck toys that's in quality it'll last yeah imagine that review like it broke after two days right ripped a hole in it right away

Adriana Chachik bought all of her autographed pictures off of eBay really so that like she's like I own the market now if you want my autograph you gotta pay like 500 bucks for it Adriana Chachik bought all of her autographed pictures off of eBay really? she's like I own the market now if you want my autograph you gotta pay like 500 bucks for it did it work? I think so

she said at the beginning of her career someone would put a stack and now she's like well I can get like 100 bucks a pop for those or whatever it is I'm sure even more these girls are out here hustling I read Jenna Jameson's book way back. That's like the only porn star story I know.

She was queen. She was. Now she's like. Something popped up where she like, they said she had some kind of disease, but then something popped up like, oh, actually she doesn't. That was the last I heard. I'm with you. It was like TMZ article.

Like, yeah, she's an awful thing. And it was like an obscure thing. And her husband or fiance was like, it was like a big reveal. reveal like this is what like she has she wasn't able to walk and then it was like a couple days later i was like actually she doesn't have that so i was like so why can't you walk then and then there was nothing it was weird she was still in a wheelchair still unable to walk oh fuck that's 24 minutes ago oh shit yeah because i read about it it was probably like a couple months ago where they said it was like jenna jameson has something something yikes i know

she was awesome but now it's so funny that she was considered like you know tame i'd be like she was awesome she was she was uh top top dog for a while there she was you can make the argument she invented the game you think so? Not invented but turned it modern. She's like the missing link between the two eras. Yeah right. It's a big compliment.

Turned it into like hot, blonde, big tits, porn you know. Yeah. Anyway you want to go to answer the internet? Absolutely.

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