KFC Radio - The Mets Have Given KFC a New Outlook on Life - Full Episode

Episode Date: October 10, 2024

Timecodes: 0:00 Start 3:37 Feits' stomach hurts from eating a fistful of everything 11:41 The Mets streams with the Barstool aliens 36:35 Kamala Harris on Call Her Daddy 38:56 The old KFCR studio used to be the party room 45:09 Vegas destroyed the Tropicana in the most Vegas way 45:42 Vegas blowing up Tropicana: https://www.usatoday.com/story/money/2024/10/09/tropicana-hotel-casino-implosion-las-vegas/75347373007/ 50:05 Video Voicemails +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Presented by Jackpocket: New customers, use code KFC and you’ll get your first ticket free at https://jackpocket.onelink.me/sY17/KFC GAMBLING PROBLEM? CALL 1-800-GAMBLER, NY Call 877-8-HOPENY or text HOPENY. 18 or older (19+ in Nebraska, 21+ in Arizona). Void where prohibited. Promo code required for $2 non-withdrawable credit. Prize amount may differ at time of drawing. Terms jackpocket.com/tos/free-ticket-promo/ Bespoke Post: Get a free Mystery Gift with your first monthly shipment when you sign up at https://BoxofAwesome.com and enter the code kfcradio at checkout. Express: Use code SADBOYSZN for an extra 20% off your purchase online or in store Helium Mobile: Get 1 month FREE with code KFC at https://hellohelium.com/kfcYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

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The first five numbers are 1 through 69. Okay, 69. Yep. 1. Okay, top and bottom. 3. 3. Jackie picked 35 and said, 35 is my favorite number.

65. 65? That's insane. Whose favorite number is 65? And then she goes, well, it's because six is my favorite number. I was like, well, then six is your favorite number. No, no. It's because, okay, when I was younger, I was counting.

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69. Three. Three. Three. 12. Lindor. 20. 12 for Lindor.

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slash free-ticket-promo slash. A partner of Barstool Sports. As much as things change, they'll stay the same. I can't tell you how many times we've been starting the show and John's been practically laying down like this and he just goes, I'm so full, dude. That's

probably happened 250 times to start a show. And he's That's probably happened 250 times To start a show And he's gonna tell it Why you're full and it's gonna be great Why are you full bro Because I ate too much But like

There's Eating too much At like 5pm is fine Eating too much in the morning is some dog shit, bro. What'd you eat? Like a big breakfast? I ate so much, dude. I ate so much.

Don't you normally not even eat breakfast? I normally... I never eat breakfast. I've been eating breakfast for, like, two weeks now because I think it helps me eat less all day. So I just eat it. I just make myself sick in the morning. But what are you eating? Like a good breakfast?

I probably ate a pound of turkey. What? Dude! That's such an aggressive way to start a morning. Just straight raw dog turkey? I started at 5am I just was doing fistfuls of turkey and then I ended with turkey and kale sandwich but I had

a bunch of popcorn. I had a protein shake with blueberries and carrots and kale and raspberries. The protein shake should be it. The pound of turkey has like – A little extra. The protein shake, I drink it out of the shake maker. It's the full thing. The full butt leg.

It's not like, oh, here's a little glass of protein. It's the full thing. it's the whole thing it's not like oh there's a little glass of protein like it's it's the full thing it's the full thing and it's it's got i go fistful of raspberries fistful of blueberries fistful of baby carrots fistful of blackberries uh fistful of cherry tomatoes 30 burgers scoop of protein scoop of peanut butter scoop of yogurt um and then i think that's about it there might be one other thing i forget but we're gonna call that the feidelberg i want people to try that that if you're a smoothie maker at home try the feidelberg i think fistful of turkey is like a great cover band name. Fistful of Turkey is... I mean...

The amount of times John describes his eating habits with the word fist is concerning. I was like literally miserable standing over the trash eating a sandwich. Being like, I don't want to... Almost like hoping it would slip out of my hands and fall into the trash so I could be done with it. You don't have to feel like, I almost like hoping it would slip out of my hands and fall into the trash so I could be done with it. You don't have to do it, dude. Bro, I don't eat until most times. I am always like, okay, we're going to do the podcast at like 11.

I'm going to like pop in and pop out. And then we end up like going long and something happens. Then I'm in traffic. And next thing I know, it's like five o'clock. And I get home and I'm like, oh my God, my stomach hurts. My head hurts. I'm in traffic and next thing I know it's like 5 o'clock and I get home and I'm like oh my god my stomach hurts my head hurts I'm like seeing double I've starved myself for like 18 hours that's exactly why I started eating in the morning because then when I get home I'm like

I eat two dinners and start snacking and all sorts of shit I would be like I'm I'm sick like physically yeah like I and then there are times I'm like oh I gotta go to practice first and then I like drop Keegan back off and I have to hang out with him. It's like 745 and I've had nothing. And then I take a sip of water.

And you know when your stomach's empty and the water, you can feel it in there. I'm like, I'm going to die. I'm going to die. And all I have to do is just eat breakfast. That's also crazy. Yeah, you've talked about this issue, though, and you've never corrected it. It's so easy to just like it's just not though because here's the problem when i when i wake up like i i have not had an

ounce of hunger in me what time is it 11 30 like so when i wake up i'm just not hungry and i don't want to eat and i don't want to force myself to eat and then we get here and we just get going and then i got shit to do and then i'm starving so it's like yeah we we work through lunch i don't eat in the morning that's what i'm supposed to do jackie how can i fix the problem jackie i've forced myself to eat so far not better but yeah well you need to you need someone else at the end of the day, you need an assistant. Everybody needs an assistant. Most people get wives. That's really what it is.

It's like, do you have sex with your assistant or not? That's really kind of the answer at the end of the day. I need someone to tell me how to be a human. Yeah. When they say, she'll make an honest man out of him, and you think of it as like you know you're gonna settle down you're gonna stop fucking around with girls and start stop partying and stuff it's all that but it's also like she's gonna teach you how to have a normal breakfast yeah oh yeah she's gonna teach you how to go you know how to not go 18 hours without eating and like harm yourself it's not even like teaching it or just she'll just

do it like she'll make you do it. It's like you're embarrassed to do it in front of another person. That's really what it is. You need shame. You need another person in your life, be it romantic or otherwise, to shame you into behaving well. And more often than not, it's a female partner. I can't let this person know I'm scared of checking my mailbox.

I guess I got to look it. I mean, like when girls I don't know if I've ever made a guy better like honestly that's because you're like one of the guys no no no

you need to go find a guy who's like you know girly bring you down you gotta meet like in the middle and usually it's like the guys are up here

the girls are down here however you want to view it and then you I pull you up you pull me got to meet in the middle. Usually it's like the guys are up here, the girls are down here, however you want to view it. I pull you up, you pull me down. We meet in the middle. I'm kind of a Jackie. I don't think anyone's ever made me better. I think many people have tried. All have failed.

You might be impenetrable. You truly might be impenetrable. And you might be too. Word's still out. You've got a few years left before we'll know about you. But you might be impenetrable. And you might be too. Word's still out. You got a few years left before we'll know about you. But you might be impenetrable. There just usually is something in you. I know there's something in me that's just like, I'm like a pushover or whatever.

Or I'm like a, what did you say the other day? Justice for the pushovers, right? That was the phrase, justice for the pushovers. And it's like – it's not even really being a pushover. It's more just like I will do what you want to do most of the time. You know what I mean? And then so like you set the tone and I'll just like do that. It's like do you want – like you pick the meal times.

You pick the – you know what I mean? And then I just end up doing them. It's not like I need to be changed or better. It's just like I'll just go with what you want to do and then luckily I have somebody if you have somebody

who's like doing it normal then you do it normal too and that's when the real fun happens is when you link up with people with other bad habits

and then it's fireworks because nobody's making anybody better you're just making each other worse and you're just fucking and it's a nightmare.

Isn't it great though? Everybody should live through that once. No, everyone should have multiple toxic relationships. If you can survive them because also I genuinely think this like being a part of like a failed one, being a part of toxic ones,

being a part of getting dumped, being a part of getting dumped, you dumping, whatever it is, you really know the next time. Yeah. A lot more. If you, if all your relationships like kind of work and you just keep like getting

dumped or whatever. And it's like, and you're not changing or growing, you know, you're just like, I don't know. I'm going to do the same thing again. That was okay.

When you start to get in some failed ones, you're like, I'm not doing that again. And then you do it again. And then you you're like i'm really not doing it again and then you probably straighten out and then but then once you get in a normal one you're like oh this is really easy yeah i was like what's the problem here what's going on how come people can't do this i can finish a recording of a podcast i don't have 50 text messages this is fucking easy piece fucking great yeah it is funny once it gets easy you're like

oh I guess it's not all of them huh thought for a minute it was all you yo I I'm so happy I'm so happy

Mets yeah I'm just no it's the Mets and I'm just so it's it is the Mets

but when it changes my disposition and I just start thinking about everything else in a happy way, and I'm just so happy. You know what I mean? Like I was watching Fishbowl, and I was like so happy that Jackie has this thing. And I was watching the game with Pavs, and I was like,

how fucking lucky that we finally finally found a producer cameraman editor who's like great at it and he's also like a normal dude and he's a mets fan that i can watch games and then like you've got out of order and i was just like my team is just so good everybody's good the bets are winning i'm so happy man man like all of that existed prior to a couple days ago before the bets are winning i just was not thinking about it i'm just so grateful for everything in my life right now it's been that way for a while it's sick how it affects your it's sick oh i mean it's a legitimate mental illness like it's it's terrible it's nervous it's nerve inducing it's anxiety inducing it's uh joy inducing it's all of the it's all of like this you know the ups and downs of any

like substance or any addiction it's like this is fucking sick and you have truly no control over it at all oh man it was so great that fucking loser smitty oh my god when he came in did you see that the way he came in it was so perfect dude i don't know if he came in late on purpose or or if he was just late because that's what he does but he came in in like the second inning and he comes down the hallways going fuck you grimace and like and the philly guys are like trying to get excited about it and he comes in all like General Smitty next pitch Alonzo. It almost is like I almost get what it probably

feels like when anybody's had to do Barstool stuff with me where they're like it's not going to work for him. I was like as soon as he came in I was like we're winning this game. I was like on my phone and like Alonzo hit enough I was like that's a home run. Oh man. You get cocky fast.

It's not gonna dick. It's just like, yeah. I mean, it was like too perfect. No, I saw that. It was the next pitch, I think. I didn't see it until after, but I was so happy that it all happened. Because when he walked by and he smacked your hat. Bro.

I was like, what the fuck was that that's why that's why like that was it for me like smitty i i really don't like little things like that too like yeah like nobody likes that but i really hate that shit and if i was a fucking lunatic like smitty screaming in the workplace i probably would have lost my shit but i was just like gonna stay calm. And the next pitch was a fucking home run. I was like, you fucking loser. Near hours after fucking erupting on me in Erica's office, like an emotional freak show circus act, spitting and screaming on me, and then come in and do that.

I was like, you fucking loser. I can't wait to beat this team yeah like that is i was already invested in the series that got me invested that was that was something man i was like i mean jackie's face yeah wow i think i can't beat up smitty or anything but i was just just like, this is, and I said this from the jump. I was like, the cave has been so much fun. And I was like, Smitty's just going to totally ruin the vibe because he's brought this whole fucking, that downer blog and his fight with Dave. He's brought it all into the mix. And it was just like, nobody wants this dude.

And it wasn't nearly as bad because we just beat the shit out of him. So it was like, you know, he didn't have any sort of impact on it. But, yeah, that flip of the hat, I was like, I wanted to just like nut tap him. What a fucking asshole he is. That clip and then the clip of Paz I watched like 100 times. Which one? From last night or the? No, him.

Dude, because I called it before the game. I was like, Clemmer's sitting next to Paz. Paz is an active sports watcher. Clemmer can't take a punch. I was like, what did I say? The spot to watch in this game is Paz being Clemmer. Paz is an active sports watcher. He gets jacked up.

I don't know if Clemmer can handle the hugs and high fives. I'm afraid I might accidentally kill Clemmer. Cavs is an active sports watcher. He gets jacked up. I don't know if Clemmer can handle the hugs and high fives. I'm afraid I might accidentally kill Clemmer tonight. And he's like. He's like. Give him the business. He's like yelling. I think he was already yelling to be fair to Clemmer, but he's like. No.

Man, that's fucking funny. That is so good. Dude, the... I don't know if I mentioned this before or not on the stream, but they just keep doing it. Clemmer and Phil never shut the fuck up. It's just constantly words coming out of their mouth, right? I always just look over my shoulder at Pavs like,

can you believe me? And he knows exactly what I'm saying. And they do these things. Every single strikeout, Clemmer goes, get him. And I'm like oh my god and then phil was always talking about some dumb shit and like they had these little like things they do all the time and i'm like i fucking hate you guys you better win this game now man that is like an interesting part of the stream too like just it's so many different styles methods of watching sports

like yeah like i i was always before streams like that i was always i'll go out for regular season game playoff games i stay home and watch on tv and like we don't talk we just watch the fucking game and you know obviously a big moment you get jacked up but there's no little side combos you're watching the fucking yeah there's a lot of like hypotheticals and like history questions when's the last time I met shut the fuck up which I think makes for an interesting stream

it does it does because I don't want yeah I would just be sitting there looking at the ground the whole time yeah I'm a boring streamer so it is

it makes it more interesting but it makes it a lot fucking harder but this was if you ever need like example of our mental illness this was like

the easiest playoff game of all time it was basically like you know four nothing six nothing seven two whatever it was the bats were dead the whole time they cruised and were able to save their bullpen and i still was like stomach i saw the whole time your shoulders are up the entire time like this every inning every time every game in the sixth inning i'm'm like, my neck hurts so much. What's going on? I'm like, oh, I've just been flexing for two hours. I think it was the sixth or seventh when it went from two to four.

That was when I let it down. I was like, all right. And then it went from four to six. And I was like, Phil is just the weirdest and the best. I love the aliens, man. I love Mets fans. Mets fans have become low-key the best fans in baseball. Seven Line is incredible.

They do these block parties outside the stadium now. They figured it out. I don't know. I guess Cohen came in and just bought probably great PR and great entertainment companies and all that. Whatever that shit is. Whoever comes in and overhauls all that. And you get lucky with the song and Grimace and all that shit.

But he's outside shaking fans' hands and taking pictures. And you got Grimace and Seymour Wiener and the Seven Line and Frank. And it became they're winning, but they're also the cool team. it's not cool because like look at this this is objectively not cool no it's cool yeah yeah yeah you know it's

not like like there was there was some clip of uh somebody called into wip in philly and was like the song is lame they they do this like dumb the seven line does this dumb chant with two strikes and like they got grimace like but like at at no point was I afraid to be there. I was like, yeah, man. Because we're normal fucking people at a baseball game cheering for a Sesame Street mascot. McDonald's mascot. We're not going to fucking stab you or puke on you. We're normal fucking people.

How did you get grimace on your side? I love that it's gonna be how did you get grimace on your side he i love that it's like on your side oh he threw out the first pitch one day as like a you know they have um leave that leave that up sorry don't scroll yet the uh you know like sometimes like they'll have like someone from barcelona at the first pitch but they'll also just do like charities and organizations and i guess one day it was a mcdonald's probably like mcdonald's kids thing he threw out the first pitch and like from that date on, we took off. So it was like the power of Grimace.

And then people think that Grimace is gay, kind of. That's like an undertone. And then we got really good during June, which is Pride Month. So it was like the gay Mets. It was Grimace and rainbows like everywhere. It was fucking unbelievable. It was great. Dude, scroll down to that video I was just playing.

I think this is the clip from the game last night. Yes, this one. I love this guy with his girlfriend. Like a pretty girl, and he's just sitting next to her. What do you think of that one, Hunter? Babe, you want to go to game night? Yeah, sure. Can I get a message?

She's like, yeah. I'm not wearing mine, actually. I'm going to be wearing a Grimace costume. Imagine you're sitting there just like we're just sitting there like what the fuck you look over just like so you want to you want to get hot dogs can you get me a beer dude i'm so happy because i was watching on my tv at home and i don't have dvr i can't rewind and i saw that i want to take a picture so bad i was gonna talk about it i can't believe we have the footage of it.

It was like, because she kind of had the ugh face and then she looks over and her boyfriend is just sitting there in a fucking Grimace costume. They pan around the field. There was like seven people dressed as Grimace. I got it in that bag right there. I got that exact costume in the bag.

I got my bag of goodies it's like my mary poppins bag i carry i don't even know why i bring it to and from i could just leave him here because i'm watching every game here but i bring that duffel bag back and forth home every single night every single game and it's filled with all my my like superstitious the grimace costume stays on after a while. I have not worn the Grimace costume yet because I keep thinking about when can you break out the Grimace costume

and then end up not looking like an asshole? I think you're good now. I think they need to win the series. Obviously that would be fine as well. I think you can wear the Grimace costume. But after yesterday, yeah. You think so? But after yesterday, yeah. You think so?

See, if they lose, Wheeler pitches game five and he's like the best pitcher in baseball. So like you're not done yet. No. You know? Five games sucks because it's like,

you know, you really got to finish the fucking job. This is kind of what we talked about the other day where like how you root for the team starts changing. You're like, you got to take risks. Like sometimes you you are gonna look like an asshole well the other time it's gonna be fucking awesome the other thing is i don't want to sit there nine innings in the grimace it's hot as shit man i know the i have the exact one these guys have i ordered off amazon

and it's like felt it's like you know fur felt like heavy you know and i was like i'm gonna be dying under there but it would be pretty funny to just check in the stream and you just see me just sitting there and there's also it's it's four fingers so it's like this so I'd just be like oh my god yes I love it I love it yeah it changes it changes my whole life changes everything man I personally have never wanted a team to win so bad I don't know if it's because of you guys or just because of everything but But I do think people like rooting for us. I think we're a likable gang because we're such losers that it's not like you're not rooting for Dave to win his millionth bet and millionth game. And it's like we've just never had it before. I'll tell you this much, though.

If and when it happens, the Padres are a formidable opponent. They have a fucking fan base, man. They are loud. They got Blink-182 with their necks. They got those towels. They're fucking loud, dude. And they're just beating the shit out of the Dodgers. The Dodgers, if they lose, nobody will care.

No. They're the most overrated team ever, and nobody will care. But, yeah, it's terrifying that this could just keep going for another couple weeks. Oh, my God. My mom was like, can we just – she was like – she started talking about how badly she wants to beat the Phillies. And then she was like, I don't even know if I care about the rest. I just want to beat the Phillies. And she's like, I don't even know if I care about the rest. I just want to beat the Phillies. And she's like, I don't know about the other two teams.

And I was like, and then you know what could be possible down the road. Yeah. And she goes, oh, my God, I don't want that. She goes, can we just get eliminated? You'd rather get eliminated than face the Yankees? But there's this family in Philly. So we lived outside of Philly for a few years. And my mom was friends with this

a mom of a kid my age and one time so in 2007 the Mets were really good and they blew it down the stretch like really bad worst ever they had a huge lead with 17 games to go and they blew it and the Phillies made the playoffs over us and right before that happened my mom was on the phone with her we had moved back to new york so they were like long distance and all they did was talk on the phone and they like had a nice conversation and at the end of the phone call this woman just went to my mom we're gonna catch you and hung up and then they did and it was just like the most infuriating thing ever right so that was like number one then number two she cut off all contact and never spoke to her again after my cheating scandal really which is fucking psychotic like my mom called her and like left a message and was like it was you know around the holidays

or whatever and she was like yeah you know things aren't so great around here right now like we're going through some stuff as a family and she was she said she was like i was calling her almost to be like i kind of need a friend right now yeah and she said she left a couple messages and nothing ever again just because of that so i'm really relishing the thought of beating the phillies just to know that i would bring misery to that family because i just found out about this like two weeks ago really i felt horrible my mom is not very social she doesn't have like a lot of friends so i was like oh i didn't know that now i hate this family with the fire of a thousand sons fuck them let's go like so so i'm really relishing the thought of beating them and then i'm like anything after that i'm like i don't know

what the fuck's gonna happen but let's get through the first step i remember being that way in 04 being like just win this yankee series and then like we'll get we'll i i thought i think i think the common thought was the opposite of what i thought which is that they would win but i was like they're gonna be so emotionally gassed right after this like they're gonna get swept by the cardinals and it's gonna be over but like just win this series and then like we've at least gotten over that hump, and then we can build on that. Make the next step. And obviously the absolute happened.

So maybe you get through this one, and it's just fucking easy sailing. I can't even fathom that. The fact that you guys got to the World Series, and we're just like, yeah, no, we're just going to win this whole thing. Was it a sweep? Swept, yeah, yeah, yeah. Crazy. The Sox always sweep.

Yeah, and the Rockies too, right? Swept the Rockies. Cardinals. The next time we beat the Cardinals, I think we beat them in six. And then I don't even remember who the other team we beat. Who did we beat in 2018? Was that the Cardinals? Who did we beat in 2013 then?

Dodgers. Dodgers were one of them, I think. Yeah. That's got so many championships. I don't even remember who we beat. Well, I'm happy you're rooting for us, Jackie. Yeah, I'm very invested. Do you know, like do you know like you

don't know any of the other teams i'm just wondering from like a like a girl's perspective like what what each fan base kind of like represents i feel like know about otani now what's it tani otani yeah and like are rooting for him. Um, but, and then also like, I say this, I say like the girls, like a lot of girls know about sports. I don't, I'm not,

whatever, but, uh, giants, like I should because Bay area, but there we didn't, I think we're like out. Yeah.

Yeah. You're not. Um, so I guess like, yeah, I like that. If you're not into sports, don't be into sports. Yeah.

I think, you know, just for like anything else, just like you might want to know like who or what is going on for the sake of like conversation at a party or something. Yeah. But like the people, guys or girls who fake it when all of a sudden, you know, I'll tell you what's going on right now. A lot of Yankee fans being like the the Mets are like fun to watch, like fuck off, get the fuck out of here.

Really? Very strange. Very, very strange. A lot of calls in WFAN being like, I'm a Yankee fan, but, and it's like,

I don't know if that's, it's this new generation who are not those like gobble ghoul fucking assholes. I almost prefer those guys better. It's like, you're on that side. We're on this side. You have always won. We've always lost, but like, that's the fucking way it is. I don prefer those guys better. It's like, you're on that side, we're on this side. You've always won, we've always lost, but that's the fucking way it is.

I don't want any... That's why I respect Tommy Smokes, because he's always like... I was going to bring him up. Yeah. Tommy Smokes, I would say, is a downright mean fan. Oh, terrible. Every time he does it, it surprises me. I'm like, Jesus Christ. And you know, his mom's a Mets fan.

He calls Mets fans sewer rats. his mom's a Mets fan. Yeah. He calls Mets fans sewer rats. His mother's a Mets fan. What? Yeah. That's why I like him, though. He's fucking psychotic about it. That clip of him, that is one. I don't think anybody else thinks it's as funny as I do.

I think it's that funny. When Aaron Judge struck out, he got so mad and was like, this is getting fucking ridiculous. And everyone was like, dude, come on, relax. He's the MVP. And he goes, I'm going to text my dad my real thoughts. It's the funniest. He's holding like a little stuffed animal. And he's like, I'm going to text my dad my real thoughts.

Was that on the stream the other night? I haven't seen this. Here it is. It's so good. Jesus fucking Christ. How is this possible? here it is it's so good I mean I'm not listening Aaron Jones aren't the long leashes getting on the tabloid dad my real thoughts

I'm gonna text my dad my real thoughts the most Tommy thing ever so when a girl if a girl watches a stream like this, not like sits down and watches it, but just like sees a clip or like knows this is going on, what do you think of it? I get kind of FOMO.

Yeah, okay. I wasn't sure if it's like, these guys are such losers. I would imagine it's the least attractive thing a guy can do. Yeah, yeah, I'm surprised. I can see it going one way or the other. Okay, but also like, I guess I'm kind of warped because I'm, like, surrounded by it. Yeah, you are.

You are indoctrinated, for sure. Well, it's just also, like, that's also, like, I was saying I was hanging out with the Yale people the other day and, like, literally could not be more. Look at me. I'm like, no, but, like. They were probably like, get this trash bag out of here. No, that's exactly what they were doing.

Like, I was like, oh, my God, I could not be more opposite. It was like they were talking about the books that they were reading and the authors that just have sparked the most philosophical, whatever. And every time I would say something, I'd be like, oh, I definitely heard of that podcast. Okay, anyways. Oh my God, the worst. And so at he'd be like, okay, anyways. Oh, my God. The worst.

And so at first I was like, yo, fuck this guy. Like, fuck these people. But then I was like, wait, wait, I got to check myself. Like, I'm surrounded by actually the biggest idiots the world has to offer every single day. Like, one step above cavemen. Jackie's like, I was work going. I was like, I don't know,

a 40-year-old guy quoted Batman the other day about his birthday party. Jackie's like I was work going I was like I don't know 40 year old guy Quoted Batman the other day About his birthday party Ted Lasso quotes Are now inspirational That was the big thing Oh my god Yeah there was

There was a birthday party It's like the office There's a bird A funeral It was a whole thing Like Jackie Jackie It's an interesting thought

From that book You know I heard An interesting thought The other day Be curious Be curious Not judgmental dork that was that was the worst blog ever written truly the worst so bad so bad but but i could see

it either being like it's almost like uh it's like goodwill hunting almost you know i mean those those it's like those people could be assholes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And we're just having the fun. Or it could look like a bunch of like middle-aged aliens who it's like, go home. Go to your family, you fucking weirdos. You know? No, but it does. It does like, that's something whenever guys will be like, oh astrology and all that stuff like you guys are

so dumb it's like you guys have all your dumb yes yeah also like i'm thinking about it like in terms of a female being on their period what i have really thought is like what you really need to watch out for is a hangry female and that is something it's like like keep kamala fed that's what you gotta watch out for that's the equivalent of like male testosterone and like i've always been like okay shut the fuck up about women on their periods that's where it's like you got us there i'm saying gree is not something you want to deal with um anyways uh i i as as we're talking about this it's funny because i screenshotted a couple of the comments regarding this whole to do over the live streams and because you know like i'm into the games and now i'm i'm invested in like the who's at the live stream and who's not and like all these things

that matter severely in our world and then outside of our world it's like literally means zero percent and so like you check in on some of like the outside like the civilians if you will and just some of the comments are just so like which one of these guys is smitty is he one of the fatties or the dork and then this guy's like it's obvious it's obvious you've outgrown what barstool wants you to be doing which is fine and there's nothing wrong with preferring to watch games with family over smelly rooms with giant fat co-workers screaming about gambling. He goes, but that said, that is literally the job now.

So it really is. And then this one I thought summed it up too. I also don't get why this company cares so much about these live streams. A bunch of misshapen dudes sitting on a couch, breathing heavy, and crying about other grown men playing games. Does anybody actually watch that cesspool? On second thought, that sounds kind of hilarious. And that's really what it is. I do get where it's like, what,

like what are these, these, these streams when they go good, they are entertaining. You know, they really are. It's which one is me, the fatty or the dork?

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That's boxofawesome.com, code KFCRADIO for a free mystery gift with your first monthly shipment i'm happy you brought up kamala though you see alex cooper catching heat yeah i i for i could not be more on her side on this for not dressing up for the kamala interview oh she wore her hoodie oh what did you saw something else i just thought i just saw heat for people being like you have kamala oh just being, just being political? Yeah, just being political. But that's like, obviously Kamala's team was like,

I want to come on. Like, you can't turn that down. I mean, totally. First of all, it's Kamala, right? Didn't you guys correct me? Oh, sorry, sorry. Yeah, it's Kamala. Okay.

No, I don't. I was making sure. Since you guys corrected me, I've been saying Kamala. I mean, there's been a debate for weeks now. It's crazy. We don't know the name of the probable future president. It's for sure Kamala.

The sweatshirt. You say sweatshirt? That's what she wore. She wore her Unwell hoodie and, like, sweatpants. But that's the show. Yeah. That's what she does is, like, it's always been on the couch in that. It's not like she's dressed up for other people.

And actually, look, she has, like, some high heels and, like, I think it's always been on the couch in that. It's not like she's dressed up for other people. And actually, look, she has like some high heels and like I think it's the leather pants or whatever that is. So it's like just the hoodie, which is like her thing. She makes like millions of dollars selling on real hoodies. On like one of the most viewed. And also the point, like I don't think Kamala's team wants her to dress up. Yeah, I think the point is go do the show the way the show is done Dave wore a suit for Trump

I think when you go to the White House it's different because that's the difference she's on her turf if Alex Cooper did Kamala at the White House

I guarantee you Alex Cooper would dress to the nines to go to the White House when you come to my studio and I'm sure they talked about this I think it would be crazy

for them to not have like thought of this I think like talk about a pre-show i well yeah like the the product like her team yeah and they're like yeah we don't give a fuck but i also mean like her team internally being like should we wear yeah should you wear branding should you do this should you do that i'm sure they arrived on it's going to be one of our most watched the whole point is to do like yourself don't sell out do it you know the the real way um i also feel like it's just how the rich stay rich it's like this is going to be one of the most viewed interviews that she has she has merch

to push you don't you don't sell pantsuits you sell fucking if you want to unveil the call her daddy pantsuit then you know you probably should have done that. I don't know. That would have probably made millions too. I think – I don't know. I think that's crazy. Like, again, if somebody came here and we dressed up for our spot, I think we would look like fucking pushovers. You know? It's like we don't – Okay, don't say pushovers in a derogatory tone.

Justice for the pushovers J-O-P What's up Oh you leaned into the mic I thought you were about to say something Oh no I was looking at levels Do you guys know that Pav's threw a party in here

I don't know why you think that He just started like I just cleaned up Like I did notice He came in with a spray bottle Cleaning and I was like Well I spilled my salad yesterday

And it was I kind of made a mess And I was like I don't want to do this now. I got the Mets on. So I was like, I'll do this tomorrow morning. And then one thing led to another

and I just got all involved and I'm cleaning up this whole place. I don't buy it. Like, he cleaned this whole thing because he spilled the salad. I did notice that. Were you throwing a party in here? No.

I have a weird twitch. Like, it happens in my apartment sometimes. Like, once I clean one thing, it's like, all right, everything has to be cleaned right now or else there used to be some some some ragers back in the old office oh yeah i was never really a part of those because i that was i was i was still married at the time i was a part of those i was throwing them you were you were like the

you had it all there were some participants in in those that when I remember finding out about them, I was like, really? Whoa. Like coworkers or outside people? Coworkers. Like guests outside people? Yeah. Those didn't surprise me because it's like they're like famous people party. It was more the barstool people who at the time I thought of as like kids who were like kind of like weird

and dorky and then they're like no I fucking party but I would always be like that person? in that studio? what? on that beanbag chair? he knows exactly what I'm talking about

so that's what that stain was I never sat on that beanbag chair? He knows exactly what I'm talking about. So that's what that stain was. I never sat on that beanbag chair again. The old KFC radio studio definitely used to be like, because I would come, like that would be like my desk and I'd have to like

blow out the dust. That was a co-crum. The old KFC radio studio. That was the spot? I was injured and I came in and I had to clean it up. It's just a really convenient spot for an office.

You'd be in a costume at MSG and be like, go back to the office. It does work well. Penn Station, the garden, everything. All the cameras would be turned the next day. That's what you meant. Penn Station, the garden, everything. All the cameras would be turned the next day. It's funny. It is funny because after I'd blow off,

you would come in just the most disheveled I've ever seen. I'd be like, oh. Checks out. Simple math. That is great. That is great. That is great stuff. The good old days, man. I mean, it's funny.

Everybody is fucking old now. I mean, there is like – I'm very interested to see how the young generation carries the torch because most people won't be lifers here. Yeah. Why would you be? It's just a job and you move on from it. Maybe you do, you don't, but you're certainly not going to take it like as seriously as we did. We're,

you know? Yeah. So, uh, I don't know if that means you're more inclined to like party here and not give a fuck. Or if you're, or if you're less inclined because you're like, I don't want to go to work and like,

right. You know, I would think less. We spent more time there because of it. So yeah, I've never like my, my, you should get the fishbowl girls fucking raging. I want to go to work. Right. I would think less inclined. We spent more time there because of it. Yeah. I've never, like, my... You should get the fishbowl, girls. Fucking raging.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, Pabst is already on it. Just mess it up with the Pabst boys. I don't know who was in here with him. Fucking Clemmer and the gang. Post-game fun. Imagine if Clemmer was just fucking railing lines. Further than that stream. I get asked a lot. Imagine if Clever was just fucking railing lines through the medstream.

I get asked a lot. They're like, why don't you actually hang out with work people ever? And I was like, because nobody parties that much. Do they not, though? Or are you guys just doing your own thing? I think you guys always go out.

Jackie and I are also doing our own. Yeah, I guess we do our own thing. I think that's better. I think it's probably fantastic. I I when I see people whose like entire lives are work you go out with them sometimes people live together I guess we're just not invited

to that's the other thing sometimes it's like oh so you guys like you guys were doing all that and I just wasn't there nobody parties here it's like yeah

nobody parties here you're the asshole not invited you were saying with everyone getting older, I realized at the wedding I was at last weekend or two weekends ago, whatever it was, I was saying the last two weddings I've been to were low-key,

but the last one I went to, the after party was intentionally down a notch. Usually the after party is like, you go to a bar, it's crazy. We went to a nice bar and just chilled. It was great. You loved it. I was the first one there. when you go to a bar it's crazy like we went to a nice bar and just chilled and it was great you loved it yeah like the we i was the first one there listen to a piano me and my crew and they were like you can change the music and i was like dude leave this music on if someone else tries to change it let me know do not get this party started let's not get retarded yeah i mean dave the other day was on the rundown was like you know he's pushing

50 and he was like he said he goes to bed at nine o'clock really which is you know when he was you know dp40 and and and uh you know j hammy days and shit and even you know relationships after that he was going out in clubs in miami till like 8 a.m yeah so i think he's got to do a lot of catching up so i mean i texted him last night at like we've been texting over smitty you know i haven't heard from the guy you know in like years and he's like did you see um and i'm doing the same thing back um i texted him at 9 42 last night i didn't i didn't get anything back till 7 a.m. He's like, you're an adult. Yeah, he's out there forming scallops. Like, wow.

This is, I don't know. It's coming to an end or something. We're all going to be dead soon. I don't know. All right, voicemails? What do we got? You got anything special? I actually don't really have anything.

This isn't really a big thing. I actually think I saw it on Twitter as Paz was flipping around, but I did see it last night. I think Nate might have had a tweet of it just now. I hate Vegas with a passion. I think it's a worthless city. And I do have to tip my cap to them

because they're the only city in the world that would make it like a touristy event to blow up a building oh they blew up the tropicana at 2 a.m and made it like a fucking scene that is cool wait which building's blowing up which oh my god fucking yeah you gotta tip your cat to vegas that's cool that that's cool that's really sick you can't cross the street in that fucking city but they blow up buildings sometimes it's like a tourist attraction

imploding the fucking that is great man what would other cities do like what would other cities do I was actually wondering that the other day cause there's always new hot casinos and then like old ones and I was always wondering that the other day. Because there's always new, hot casinos and then old ones. I was always wondering what happened to them.

I guess they demoed them. The Drop of Can I, I thought, was one of the big ones. I guess it's not. I feel like we stayed there recently. I thought so, too. Maybe I'm wrong. I think there were live shows there in Vegas. Oh, is that where?

No, I'm thinking Margaritaville. We would demo. New York would demo. It's got to be like a building. There's like areas of New York I'd like to wipe out. Port Authority? Yeah, that's a great one. That's a really good one.

I mean, you could never. It's's actually super super integral to the city but as far as just the cesspool that you don't want to go into yeah i think i think i just like accidentally had a verbal terrorist threat yeah you're gonna come knocking on the door the main port of the biggest city in new york that's like that's like Bane's fucking plan in Batman. What would they blow up in LA? Like what building? Yeah. Oh. That fucking place on top of a hill. The Hollywood side.

Oh, the Hashimoto's? Yeah. No one ever will have to walk this we'll just blow up the mountain it can come down we'll never have to walk up that fucking Mount Everest

again I still never forgive you for that John had to take off his shirt John was mountain climbing with his shirt off

I was sweating and tired the rest of the night it wasn't even that good it wasn't even that good I had a fantastic espresso martini you said you do yeah I was sweating and tired the rest of the night. No, it wasn't even that good. a lovely night. It wasn't even that good.

I had a fantastic espresso martini. You said you do? Yeah, I thought it was pretty solid. Yeah. It was great. Nothing is worth that. I would never be like,

if you told me, let's do that again tomorrow, we have to do the same walk, I'd say absolutely not. But it was fun when we got there. It was the fun of the world. There were those kids

running around though, remember that? When it was like, how many people have walked up here? It's like zero. Zero. It was the final zero. There were those kids running around, remember that? When it was like, how many people have walked up here? It's like zero. Zero. Like, are you-

Four, five. Yeah. Might want to change that in the till, brother. All right, let's do it. The fall is here, which means you got to have your staples. You got to have your must-haves

inside your closet. And I call the must-haves a nice cotton t-shirt. I say you've got to have a nice pair of jeans and or chinos. You've got to have like a button-up polo. Western denim perhaps. A little double-breasted western denim.

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What's up, KFC crew? Quick question for you. If a door is closed, is it on or is it off? Like it's on because it's doing its job keeping people out but also like people can't use it then so if it's open and it's on then people can like get in and out of it what's your take on it? I love this question. This is a very Jackie question. Okay, wait.

So if a door is on, is it working or off if it's closed? I think a door is on when it's closed. Yes. That's when it's dooring. A door is made to be able to close things off. Yeah. Close the door.

But the whole point of like... But if it's unopenable, I'd be like, the door's broken. And broken to me feels like off. Like you can't get out. It depends on what side of the door you're on. Yeah. I feel like the whole point of off

is that it's the absence of... Something. So it's the absence of something. So it's like if a door is closed, it's like the absence of a merger. See, that's the exact opposite. I think when a door is open, it's the absence of a door. Yeah. Yeah. I think the first person, I think they made a door because they were like, we need to close this. Yeah.

Like we got to stay in this cave and close this. Okay. So that to me would be like the on. Correct. Or the pro. It's like why you made a light so I can see. Yeah. When a light's on is when you can't see.

Right. You made a door to shut everything out. But it is kind of the first person to close something probably put a bunch of fucking rocks there and then was like, I can't get out. Yeah. So that's a bad door. So it's more like the one I always reference. What's his name? The escalator bit.

Mitch Hedberg? Yes. Yeah. Like it's both. You know both you know what i mean yeah like when it's on it's opening and when it's off it's just can't close maybe you know what i mean like if a door if you had a door on the hinges but it like couldn't close i I would consider that off. But that's broken. Broken. That's broken.

It's on and off and broken. Yeah. By the way, all the doors in my house are just falling off. So I think what happened, they look fine, but I think the old people

who I'm almost positive died were so inactive or not at the house that the doors were closed. And now when they're open, the hinges are like hanging. And they just haven't had that happen to them in like 100 years.

So the top hinges just keep breaking. You have to just keep putting doors. Walls. I told you about the other week, my dad with the glue and the matchsticks Just doing that all over the house Doors are breaking everywhere So what do you say final answer

Okay Final answer you guys That is very sound because the function of a door is to close Yeah But in my head like A door is off a closed door is off An open door is on. I think, though, like an architect would say the function of a door is to open and close.

It's not a one-way thing. So it's always on. A door is a hingeable. I think if you had to define a door, you would say a hingeable, like, piece of wood or something that, like, swings. Can I be scientific real quick? Yes, you can. You do not ever have to preface that. You can always be scientific on this show.

Okay, so with a light switch, when you turn the light on, you're closing a breaker. And you're making a connection. My dad loves that one. So when a light is on, the door of the light is closed. and you're making a connection. My dad loves that one. So when you're

when a light is on the door of the light is closed. Wait. When the light is on the door of the light is closed. So when the door is on the door is closed. So when you flip the light on

you're closing the door. I think that's the answer. Scientific! That's science! That was scientific! on closing the door that's more like engineering okay I'll take it I'll take it that was the only time science has ever been applied seemingly correctly ever on the show that might have an engineer be like that's not at all but right now it feels like you just smoked that i was so out because you made the accurate face you made the face you should make when i say can i be scientific

and it's a face of extreme doubt and i was i was like yes jack Jackie's making the correct face because I think I'm actually going to win this. I think I got something here. Okay, now you want to go a step further though, like a revolving door. There's not really an open or close. It's just a...

It's moving or not. The revolving door is the sun. That electricity is always running. Oh my god. Mr. Isaac, you're over here. Whoa, Einstein. It might not be on for you at the moment, but it's on for somebody.

The definition of a door is a hinged, sliding, or revolving barrier. That was the word I was looking for. At the entrance to a building, cupboard, or vehicle, or in the framework of a cupboard. So it is considered a barrier, which I would consider to be a closed thing. Yeah. Because an open thing is not a barrier.

Yeah. You actually don't need a door to get from room to room. So that's... Right. Correct. But you need a doorway. Or else you're just not going from room to room. You're just in the same room.

Wow. Just one big room. If you don't have doorways. So the doorway is... Yeah, open floor plans. Ugh. Gross. Gross.

Gross. I don't... Have you guys heard of the Harvard... Business Mirror? I'm sorry? Business Mirror. The Harvard... Wait, what is it?

It's like the Harvard something mirror? Heard of the Harvard school it's basically no it's like business it's like um uh when there's an elevator yeah the harvard harvard business school mirror i don't know and i'm probably gonna butcher this but when i don't know why it reminded me of it but when there's an elevator um you like they couldn't there was in some building there was this really slow elevator and everybody was complaining and they couldn't figure out how to make it go faster so instead they just put mirrors in like make it look like it was going no no no like in where the people were waiting but people just got so distracted by looking at themselves that nobody complained i could definitely see that so now if you ever see like a mirror, it's like, it's actually just distract you from that.

I bet they do that. I bet they do that all over the place. I bet you, if there's like a, if you're waiting for your table in like the front of a restaurant, put, put mirrors up. I bet people stop complaining.

Yeah. I bet you there's mirrors all over the place. That's a waiting room, doctor's waiting room. Cause people just be like, sitting here all day. Yeah. Yeah. it's great

fucking we're the worst i've always wondered like in a gym would it be better to have a fat mirror or a skinny mirror like to make people fat motivates you but that motivates you but the skinny also like then if you see progress then you're like oh i gotta keep you probably need like a little bit of both dude the fat mirror skinny mirror thing is such an insane thing that happens in this world. Meaning what? We should just have universal mirrors. Well, I don't think – People don't try.

I think some of them are designed that way, but I also think some of them are just like the mirror is a little warped and old and shit. Like with us, I'm sure people who – Also, I feel like it's the lighting. Lighting. When people are like yeah this mirror looks good it's like no you have lighting in that room that looks good when you look at the mirror you know if there's top lighting you're always gonna look uh skinnier if there's lighting that's universal like this you're gonna look a little bit fatter i feel like if there's a top light then like you look like let's get some fucking top lights in well there's are like i mean but this is like if i turn off all if i put all the lights in here then you would probably look a little bit fatter but

if there's just a light directly on top let's do that no no no then you look like chunky because then your bags come out in your eyes yeah then it's showing every kind of like yeah yeah i always think about that like when we i i'm sure mirrors aren't a big thing to people who just live in their home, like 99% of people, but we travel so much. Every hotel I'm in, I'm like, I have no idea what I look like. I don't have a fucking clue what I look like as a person. I have no idea. You'll walk out of a hotel looking like a full asshole.

You get down to the lobby, and you guys will be like, you look like shit. I didn't know this was stained. I didn't know this didn't fit. I didn't know my hair wasn't done. Between the cameras we use and the different places we shoot and the different mirrors we have and different hotels we stay in,

I don't know what I look like. I'm going through an existential crisis. Am I fat? Am I skinny? Am I ugly? Am I good looking? I don't know. Sometimes I'll be in a hotel and I'll be like i mean i must weigh 300 pounds this is insanity my mom

like only buys fat mirrors so whenever my sister and i go home we're like we're not fucking eating it's insane but wait when you say that what do you mean like like are there ones that are like you know are fat like Like, marketed that way? Or you just know the thing? No, it's just like she accidentally, she just has a bad run of buying mirrors. And we're just like, you did it again! Another bad one! 25 years in a row!

It's been the mirrors! Maybe that's just what you look like. Take that back. Did you ever have a fat phase in college? A fat phase in college? A fat phase in college? Yeah, like looking back on it I definitely like Fluctuated

Probably like right after When I came to Barstool I definitely gained That was probably my most Really? Yeah Why do you think that was? Just because like

I wasn't working out Because I was working Because I was like doing school And this So I wasn't working out because I was working because I was like doing school and this so I wasn't working out and Yeah What do you sound very convincing pause there, but you do Pilates I've never Fucking love and it's my favorite thing in the morning like a studio

I go it's like an it's my favorite thing in the morning. A what? A studio that I love. I go, it's like an hour away, so I go on my walk. You go to a gym an hour away from your apartment? Walk an hour away? Like 45 minutes.

That's crazy. My gym's a block away and there are many mornings where I'm like, 45 minute walk? What are you doing? Well, it's probably not going to be that fun in the cold.

Yeah. You're never going to go in the winter. Yeah. So I'm'm gonna get fat start preparing for that i mean it's great it's amazing if you stick to it because you get 45 minutes of a walk and then you're working out yeah and 45 minutes back well i'd take the train back i'm so scared of pilates from veep there's a scene where dan egan is joining kent and dan's

like trying to do it. And he's like, it takes years to develop this kind of core to be able to use this. He's like, you're going to be sore tomorrow. Yep. I can't,

I have a feeling like Pilates. So the thing, our hockey coach, he's always yelled at us to like, just like the different kinds of muscles you use. Totally. Like he would always bag skate us like first day. And he would just stand there and just keep yelling.

You might be in shape. Gentlemen, you're not in hockey shape. Yeah. It's true. It's gentlemen. You're not in hockey shape. Yeah. It's true. It's true. You do some yoga shit and all of a sudden you need something. You wake up the next morning and you're fucking,

that tendon that connects your dick to your legs is fucking hurting or whatever it is. I'm like, tendon that connects your dick to your legs. It might be scientific real quick. Oh, sorry. I forgot I was talking to you. You guys don't mind if I break out a little physiology on you. You know that one piece of rubber that connects your dick to your legs? That groin though, right?

That's the groin? That thing is like – if I ever tore that. Oh, yeah. That is what it is though, right? The groin? I think so, yeah. The muscle? That thing feels like it's fucking.

I feel like if you tear that, it snaps back and breaks your knee. It's like a little leather, like, yeah. Kind of like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like that thing, but like super thick. Ugh. I was going to say something about Pilates. I'm also pretty new, so I'm still like –

it might not even be working. No fucking joke. Oh, I know what I was going to say. I signed up for a yoga program. Whoa. But it's more – I have not done it yet. And it's more of a thing that I'm doing. I got got – that's like the only only thing I maybe could do. I got

got on one of those. It was probably an ad. Such a good marketing thing. You click your age, your height, your weight, your body shape, and then what do you want to achieve and how often do you work out? You put all the information in.

I click it and it was like, by November 21st,'re gonna lose 20 pounds and it's like yeah fucking no i think i think that's definitely possible well yeah but i mean i'm sure i'm sure also when i go it goes like check your email for the plan i'm sure the plan is gonna be like don't eat and work out fucking nine hours a day and by you know three weeks you'll be fucking i mean it's it's the middle of october yeah it's by november but those like first 20 go so fast yeah i guess so i guess so i that i mean obviously you're not as big as frank but like frank like shred like 50 pounds and like well i'm just talking about weight loss he is the most prevalent example of weight loss we have right now frank burn boy but like for like other

people you would probably pause and go i can't compare them to frank no for you for me you just kept going if we just kept going if we were talking weight loss with anybody if you were talking to jackie you would be like yeah you know look at frank no it is true though but it's more my point more was I think I've had this new thing where I'm old and at night I'm like sleepy and I'm just fucking on the phone the other day

I got an Amazon package and I do not remember this and I don't even know if I did it maybe you guys will speak up maybe it was a prank I think I put the pieces of the puzzle together i got a wearable watch bible that showed up to my uh house the other day it looks kind of like a like a fitbit does it have the whole bible in it uh it has like seven buttons and it's like, I think this is one

part of the what are those called? The four books? According to Luke. The gospel. It's like this gospel, that gospel and different things. Old Testament, New Testament. And I was like, it showed up and it said, it had my name on the address.

And I was like, what the fuck is this? And I couldn't figure out what happened. But I think I figured out because then the other day I saw an ad for it. And it was this guy reaching in and grabbing lube and tissues. And it said, like, whenever I think of doing this, I do this. And I think I thought that was funny. And I was like, I'm going to give it to one of the gang. Because when I saw that, I was like, this thing popped off.

And I was like, I think that's funny. And I think I saw that a couple weeks ago and thought it was funny. And that's why I bought this. I think that makes perfect sense because it definitely wasn't me. But I think you should start wearing that on streams. And when fucking people go deep just start quoting scripture i'm now a god guy i've got verses for you what's that god says i will slay it yeah smite me almighty smiter i don't even know yeah i guess it i guess it i guess it talks to you i don't even know what it is it's got to talk

to you i guess i'll bring in the I'll bring in the watch Bible next week. Everybody gets a week with the watch Bible. You have to wear it and listen to God. All right, next voicemail. That was a good one. Look how far we went on the door question. We went from the door, light bulbs, Harvard mirror. You don't know what you look like.

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Ditch the old phone plan and get one month for free of helium mobile with code kfc go to hello helium.com slash kfc then use code kfc get an unlimited phone plan that rewards you plus one free month it's hello helium.com slash kfc code kfc yo what's good kfc radio jackie fights kfc pass okay 21 21 um i guess i got a question and so i guess it's kind of on topic maybe hopefully goes on to the next episode but um you guys were literally just talking about haircuts and microdosing haircuts fights was talking about and jackie went on went ahead and said that she doesn't like when guys did haircuts but i was gonna ask this question me personally you know for being honest

you know i think i'm a 5.56 like if you look at the last video i just sent i'm looking at the video i said i wanted to make the video you look like a five you look a little bummy with the haircut so that same week i just got a haircut i had a couple plans over the weekend i have to get cleaned up um so then, you know, you get the haircut. I looked at myself after the haircut. I said, look at you, Mike. You're solid. 6.8.

7.2. They come together. But then, I realized if you had the universal big man sweat rag this thing will this rag in itself

will turn that 6.8 to 7.6 I'd go up to an 8.4 if I hit the pat right with a nice little spit game so you know I would start talking to my boy about it. And I said, you know, this rag is the equivalent of a Wonder Bra or the yoga pants that cheeks in the back.

But, yeah, I'm just I was thinking about it. And what's the male equivalent of the Wonder Bra to the woman's Wonder Bra? You know what I mean so shout out and i was also gonna say uh i think it's a black thing i said maybe it's a black haircut do white guys look good after fresh hair because i'm having black haircuts are very good i'm just like look like a like a naked mole rat but you know you know. You got to start going to more, you got to have more barbers and less salons. More barbers, less salons, so, yeah. I think, as he was talking,

I think a black haircut's different than a white haircut. I did think about this in the moment last time. It's also, like... A fade is completely different. That looks good. For them, too, though. Like, I don't even necessarily think, know if... I do, I mean, if girls look at, like, a nice fade and they like that, fine.

But I think when they get lined up, they are like, I look fucking good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? Like, it's all about the confidence thing. They're like, you know, they feel... Because if you have a fade and you don't get it you know done frequently like it looks like shit yeah it's like really great you know so the difference between having one and not having one is like night and day so that I can understand you like a fade

yeah like a fade on a white guy like so many white guys that did that and I was like I I don't like it's so white like you that. And I was like, it's not for us. It's so white. You know what I mean? I don't like how I look. I'm with Jackie. I do not like how I look post haircut. I like how I look a week after a haircut. I get out of the salon and don't Erica block yours.

I'm right away like that. But you also have a shaggier hair look. You know what I mean? Yeah. away like like that but you also have like a shaggier hair look you know what i mean yeah but the like like i'll i'll i'll like bring a hat because i'm usually wearing by the time i get my hair cut it's usually long enough that i wear hats so i'll like wear a hat to the salon and then i like leave and i'm like yeah they put it on um not all the time but i actually don't do that often but i want to all the time remember when – doesn't Jeff D. Lowe get a haircut every week? Yeah.

And he's like, this is just, like, so good. He's like, my barber's just so good. I was like, okay. He has, like, a network of barbers. Like, wherever he goes. Wherever he is, he can get a haircut. He has a guy. He's got a guy.

Yeah. I mean, I've thought about that before because I do like what I look like when I get a haircut, and I hate when it gets – like, right now, it gets very puffy on the sides. And then if it's not done, it looks terrible. And I'm like, I should just get haircuts more frequently. But I still – it's just so ingrained in me that you go like every once a month, every six weeks, whatever it is. I think I get my haircut like once a year. Really?

I think maybe twice a year. I think probably every six months. I need my haircut so bad, but I can't afford it. So I just have to. It's like $600. That's crazy. That wasn't like a token. Is that because you get it colored and everything?

Or literally just to cut it? Yeah, because I have to get it colored too or else then it bruises the like. Yeah. What's it called? You got nice hair though. Thanks. It's always greasy, honestly. But it's like there's a lot of it.

It's like full. Yeah, thanks. No, that's. It's a battle. It's a strength of mine. There's a lot of it. It's like full. Yeah, thanks. No, it's a strength of mine. How did you handle your greasy other day? You were telling me you were so greasy, like your phone was going to fall. Yeah, I was using Jackie's phone to record videos,

and I was just going to slip out of my hands. Covering grease. Yeah, I don't know. She looks like that guy from the Phillies, Marsh. Pull him up for Jackie, just so you know. Is it Marsh? Yeah, i think it's marsh yeah you don't look greasy really thank you i saw i saw like a comment the other day being he dips his hair in water before every game and we say he looks disgusting that's that's you with you yeah that's that's you yeah and you know what sometimes it's because i'm coming from pilates can't write can't type yeah um i don't think it looks greasy thank you so much i saw well

right now it looks a little greasy okay well right now it's actually i put in it shouldn't be greasy right now um i don't think it looks greasy at all thank you so much i well it's one of those things where like sometimes you see a comment and you're like oh my god does everyone think this about me and then like so one of the comments Where like sometimes You see a comment And you're like Oh my god does everyone Think this about me And then like So one of the comments Was like girl Jackie like your hair

Like what are we gonna do About your greasy hair Or whatever And I was like Oh my god Does everyone think That my hair is greasy So then this is very

Those are the worst comments I wouldn't have said it If you said it But a lot of times Like it is I just like I'm Italian I can't

Like I can't I can't control it Grease balls Yeah Those are the worst comments i prefer the like you should kill your fucking self yeah we had that on our story like just yesterday where she was like you can say the meanest shit to me and i don't flinch but this stuff makes me enraged it was like oh i think it's about her hair i think it was like

your hair needs a trim who the fuck are you to say that to me motherfucker yeah that shit drives me so much crazier it's like you i wish your kids fucking aborted i don't i don't that doesn't matter whatever man but it's like you know your beard is like ugly i'm like fuck that is the answer for by the by the i don't be this the the fat guy towel i think also is like a black guy thing. If you're a big black guy and you have the towel, I think it's like part of your look and your confidence and your thing. It's also like probably better to just have that and not be sweating. Yeah. But I think if I was walking around with a towel, I'm a sweaty guy. If I walked around with a sweat towel, I think people would be like, get out of here.

Get out of here. Does getting the car Elizabeth mean anything to you guys? No. Okay. So it's like there's this scene. I actually don't know what it's from, but it's all over TikTok. And there's this guy. Yeah, just play the. Oh, my God.

It's so hot. So hot? Oh, God. Oh, God. I already hate this. So now whenever a guy looks. Hold on. How you feeling, mama?

Nauseous. Let's go for a drive. Some air? I should get these inside. There's ice cream. Get in the car, Elizabeth. Oh my God! It's so hot!

Get in the car, Elizabeth. stop it right now oh my god this is like your honor example a yeah i don't know i don't know what we want i've never known i will never know that was the corniest, lamest shit ever. You want to know what really turns women on? An AI guy telling you to get in the car. I don't even know how to. He goes, how you doing, mama? Oh, my God. Imagine if any of the three of us did that. Locked up.

Locked up. We'd be locked up. No, but so now whenever somebody looks kind of like that, like has the beanie or something, they're like, please do it. Like get in the car, Elizabeth, or whatever. So that, so it's like a whole thing on TikTok. That is amazing.

I can understand the look and even a guy just like being assertive, you know, but like that specifically, I thought you were going to say that it's like a joke on TikTok, like how fucking stupid that is. Someone made that trying to be hot and they're stupid but you all your girls think it's hot i i had you fell out of your chair you slipped right off oh my god clean up on aisle jackie right off the fucking leather chair i i basically have to have this happen once long time ago my girlfriend at the time was like in a brawl with her family like we were at her house they were all just screaming at each other and i it was like everyone was screaming at her

it was like her versus everybody and i was like i lost it not like lost it lost it but i was like get outside let's fucking go yeah and we left we got in the car. And we're driving. And she's like, that was the sexiest thing. And I was like, what are you talking about? I was like, you pretend. I was like, literally the second we pull out of the driveway, she's like, that was the sexiest thing. Maybe it's not even the assertiveness. We just like being told to get in cars. Like, literally, it was that.

And I was like, it's insane I just talked to you like that. She's like, no, that was so hot. And I was like, well, I can't keep that up because then I'm an abusive boyfriend. So I don't know what to do. I can understand that, though. Because that was, like, protective. That was, like, you weren't yelling at her. I was yelling at the situation.

Yeah, you were yelling at her to, like, protect her from them. But, yeah, just run around telling girls to get in cars. You're, like, getting on around telling girls to get in cars. That should be the new trend. That actually, I really want to see, people should do that on TikTok right now as a real trend

to like real wives who are like mothers of three and shit. Like get in the car, Susan. Shut the fuck up, Tim. I have to put the groceries in. You never help me the kids are you know see if that works in real life maybe we'll duet that with you guys all trying

and this and this is widespread this is not just like you and your friends every girl wow i mean like again i mean that guy just looked like some like vato like gangbanger you know so give me some like like a like a like you know x-con who will tell me to get in the car and i'm just dripping like miguel you know miguel from love island people have like been begging him and he finally did it has like millions of views 11 million views hilarious how you doing mama what do you say to like let's get some air yeah we're outside asshole you're getting into the car to get air you fucking what we get in the car we're turning the air off you dumb shit the doors are closed it's like the life light switch all right last one hey chicken head here um so i have a story that kind of is a story it really

isn't and i'm trying to just make it short and sweet girls know how to tell them huh so thursday when us mets fans went through a emotional roller coaster and just all over the place i got a text that morning saying mets win bjs for all and i had no idea who the number was turned out it was the wrong number the guy was like oh my god I'm so sorry this seems so creepy I was just a number off I was like all good gave me a good laugh I love GM but it made me question because I'm nosy one was he sending this to a girl and no way like hey I'm gonna get this BJ from this girl if the Mets win and I'm sure he was stressing like the rest of us were, but he was stressing extra hard because, hey, wasn't going to get a BJ. Or was he like sending this to his friends, but then he should have his friend's number.

Like, are you an idiot? But then this made me also add it to my long list of for the past 20 years I've had my number. What are some instances where people have had the wrong number call or text them? This isn't the first this isn't even the worst or the funniest but it's the most recent one and being that it had some connotation to the mets winning like i want to know did he get his bj did he give his bj like what's the deal let me tell you exactly anyway i'm wondering if you guys have ever had a funny wrong number moment i'll tell you exactly what happened because we went through

this um meek phil last night said i would suck a dick for a double play and it fucking happened double play a line drive double play like one in a ten thousand you know never would have happened and we were like well you gotta suck somebody's dick. So we started going through the list of whose dick you would suck. And Meek was taking it far too seriously. I was like, Frank's coming back tomorrow. And he was like, no, no, no.

I was like, well, then who would it be? And he's like, well, can I pick from anybody in the whole world? And we started talking and talking. That friend group had some sort of conversation like that where they said, I will suck a dick for a win tonight. And they said like,

who would you suck? And he probably said, everybody. And they said, all the people or whatever. And so he was trying to text the group or the person

or somebody something saying he was sucking everybody's dick tonight because the Mets won. That's the text I sent to my Hurricane and Rally Boys every... To every Bruins win.

BJ's for all. I mean, it is weird to be typing in a number and sending that text that feels like a text you should be sending to someone yeah whose number is saved you know yeah yeah because it's like that's a maybe it's a girl who even types in a number anymore oh that's you know that's got to be a okay that's that's what that is that's a girl he talked to or a guy he talked to who what that is that's a girl he talked to or a guy he talked to who said something like that and she gave him the wrong number or maybe it's a gay guy who's like i will yeah but that like because you don't you don't type in numbers anymore really you know what i mean you might in the moment but i feel like a lot of times if you

get a wrong number a lot of times it's a girl putting in her number and giving it like one off yeah yeah so because if i was if i would it would be very weird to be like the meds have won let me text that person nine one four you know yeah yeah so it's like you have to have it stored in your phone in some capacity no i could see it like maybe you just met at a bar you know that um at coachella there's a blowjob tent? That like there's this one woman and she just... Okay, this also could have been a dream. I'm going to be honest. But I have it in my notes. We can figure this out pretty quickly.

And I think I was talking... Yeah, there's a blowjob tent. There's this woman and she... You give her... No, this is not a dream. You give her a... Money and she sucks her dick. You give her money and an STD test and she sucks... Wait, hold on. My friends told me about this. And she sucks her dick. You get money and an STD test and she sucks.

Wait, my friends told me about this. And she sucks. Does anyone remember who the camping blowjob girl is from last year at Coachella? And is she going to be there this year?

Blowjob tent. Watch public deep throat at Coachella from Hot Blonde. No, that's just a porn site. Coachella, does that tent

come with a blowjob? This is from 2008 though, so I don't know. The internet is obsessed with this Coachella Does that tent come with a blowjob This is from 2008 though so I don't know The internet is obsessed with this Coachella Ferris wheel blowjob I'm not saying So what did you What did you think happened Or maybe does happen that we don't know about yet

People there's like a woman at Coachella And she Like you give her money obviously And like proof that you don't have an STD And then she like you give her money obviously and like proof that you don't have an STD and then she like sucks your dick. Okay. It's a pretty simple business plan. Imagine just being like here's a paper. It's like that guy with the ID like I am 12

or whatever. Yeah. Yes I'm clean. It's what the woman in New Orleans did to me. Oh yeah. Afterwards handed it to me. She's like just in case you wanted it I'm clean. I was like I wasn't. Now I am. now I really am if you got this on hand now I'm really fucking concerned

if you got that on deck that's crazy that is crazy I've never gone for an STD test I've really only done it once I've gotten if I've been at the doctor check up and they go you want to just test

but I've never been like I've been at the doctor, check up and they go, you want to just test? I'm like, yeah, why not? But I've never been like, I have something or something's going on and I think I got it from a girl and I go get tested. Oh, I knew I had herpes. I didn't end up having it, but I got a call from a girl who I just slept with and she's like, I have herpes. And I was like, why did she tell you after? She just found out. She had just found out.

And then I went downstairs in my apartment and I was like boys i got herpes and they're like from who and i said who and three other guys were like fuck no what a moment that's a great moment though that's so fucking funny did any of that happen no no no no so i i've told this story before i've i think i wrote a blog about it too i think i might have done one thing I learned. It's where I... So we all went to the clinic the next morning. This is in Newport. What a moment. And we all went together.

And the doctor, he had cargo shorts on. I definitely remember the cargo shorts. And he came in, and I was like, I have herpes. And he's like, I'll be the judge of that. And he goes, why don't you take your pants down? And I take my pants down, and he's like i'll be the judge of that and he goes why don't you uh why don't you take your pants down and i take my pants down and he like lifts it up looks under it it's so weird when they lift it they just take this little thing and they go he's like nah you're fine and i was like i don't man i don't know like did you have something no but i got a call 24 hours

earlier like there was nothing on i mean like no nothing on it. But she was like crying. She's like, I have herpes. I'm so sorry. And I honestly, shout out me. I was like, what are you going to do? She was like, thank you for being so nice. I was like, what are you going to do? This is what happens. Maybe it didn't knowingly.

It's a different story. But like, hey. Yeah, this is literally what happens. People fuck each other and get diseases. That's the game, girl. hey um yeah this is literally what happens people fuck each other and get diseases like and uh so i i asked the doctor i was like can we be like a little more you look a little closer and he's like i can give you a piss test and i was like that'd be great it's in your pee yeah that's a blood thing and then so we so he said like pee like is isn't whatever he's like but we can piss test and i I was like, yeah, let's do that.

This doctor's not a doctor. And then so we piss tested. He's like, no, like I said, you're fine. And I was like, dude, she called me and told me she has it. Like, I don't know. I feel like I have to have it. He's like, we can do blood if you want. And I was like, yeah, can we do blood?

And then. Why didn't you just start with blood? Yeah, it's like just cut to the chase. I guess some people don't want to. I don't have an answer for you there. The guy was probably like, I don't know how start with blood. Yeah, it's like just cut to the chase. I guess some people don't want to. I don't have an answer for you there. The guy was probably like, I don't know how to take blood. And then before my blood test came back, she called me and was like, it was just an ingrown hair.

And I was like, oh. She didn't know that she had. She had been to the gynecologist, and the gynecologist had told her she had herpes. They need to do the blood test. And I was like, we should probably pump the brakes before the gynec before i don't know the gynecologist tells you have herpes you tell everyone you have herpes like i know imagine making that call because you can't when you call people back and say just joking it's like okay still not fucking yeah you get over it i have like a crippling fear of stds Like it's like taken in terms of like my leg fear.

You had them too many? What? You had them too often? Yeah, exactly. No, I just like, I can't. Like it freaks me out. Yeah, I mean, it's a good thing to have a healthy fear of. You should strive to not get them.

I do not have that fear. Huh? I do not have that fear. That freaks me out. The guys don't have that fear. Do as I say, not as I do not have that fear. Huh? I do not have that fear. That freaks me out. The guys don't have that fear. Do as I say, not as I do. I also am a very – I've lived in such a way where I think if you're ever like putting it in like this is dicey, then like you kind of deserve what you get. I really have never fucked any girl that I've been like more than the normal amount of like

you've had sex with other people and like you never know but if you're just like fucking a guy or a girl who is like you know is filthy it's kind of on you that's like crazy I don't know though I mean like you know what I mean I think there's a lot of people like in the moment who will just be like whatever

or like you think you're gonna use a condom and then you don't. I've just always been – you're not like a virgin, but I think you're pretty clean and I know I'm pretty clean. But that's how people get STDs. That is the fucking playbook. There was this girl at USC and she was like homeless, I guess. She didn't go to USC, but she would just come to, like, one fraternity's parties in, like, in order to...

She would just sleep with everybody. And so then, like... In order to what? In order to, like, have a home. Like, stay, have a place to sleep. And so, like, she literally went around, and I was like, oh, my God, I don't know why... Like, every person would be like,

I would never fuck her. And then, like, she would go for you, and she was really hot, and then she would go for you, and then they would, like... They would be like, okay. What do you her and then like she would go for you and she was really hot and she would go for you and then they would like they would be like actually homeless what do you mean well she wasn't actually homeless but she was like she just didn't have a home like by definition was she a student i really don't know her deal i didn't she was not student no fascinated she just lived in the area so then she would come to the parties.

This just sounds like a slut. Yeah, well. But that's how she would like. If you have a home. If you don't have a home and you're like, I need a place to stay every night. I get it. Yeah, that's what it sounds like, right? But you said she lived in the area.

Or I guess she just existed. Well, yeah, so I don't actually really know. I think that she did have like. I think she lived with her parents. Like she has homeless but like in order to yeah stay out or like she wanted to try she like was fighting with her parents at the time i don't know the details of it all i know is like i'll show you i'll show you mom and dad you go fuck a whole fraternity and then like you would hear of like the hot guys being like ah i was a victim like i felt like not i was a victim like i i yeah you know and then you'd be like well i would have fucked you but like now this girl yeah that's that thing where you know

it's like you fucked you fucked that guy you fucked everybody yeah they show you like that chart you know what i mean where it's like you fucked that one person and that person fucked that person. You fucked everybody at school. It's like, not really. You know? Yeah. It's not like, if you didn't catch anything from that one time,

then you're good to go. Yeah, I'm good. But yeah, I've never worried about it. So I feel like it's one of those things where it's like, I didn't worry about it so it didn't happen.

If I'm not afraid of it, it can't happen. But again, that's how you get a steezy no but i also feel like yeah yeah sometimes it does also sometimes feel like almost like getting pregnant too where it's like there's the couple who tries forever and can't and the 16 year old gets pregnant there's like the person who's like safe and the one time they're not they they get something there's the person who dodged the bullet every single night you know it's kind of great being a guy though i feel like it's it's way way less for us right it's almost

like everything what i think our uh us contracting stds i think is way lower than girls really yeah i think i think because it's just like like hpv doesn't go like into them you know what i mean yeah it's like harder you got to get like into the little hole where they just have this huge cavern i just sawvern just gets all the diseases i just saw this tiktok of this guy and he was like and he was saying he's clearly like i don't know like the homeless whatever but if he said to you get in the car yeah oh my god um he was saying he was like i have i think it's either a really bad case of jock itch or um like some kind of std i'm trying to get it checked obviously i've had like a fungal shell for the past 20 years

and everyone's like i'm sorry wait can you go back to the focus show like the what fungal what fungal shell i don't know what that is but apparently he's had a fungal shell for the past 20 years and he was like starting to work at Goodwill and he's like do not google that is that what you're gonna do I don't want to see the fungal show you guys don't want to see it yeah you guys can do it

no I don't want to see it I'll probably out of all the weird I also can't charge it so I can't charge it can't smell it is that how you think you sell fungal

yeah yeah yeah he sold it F-O-R-I-A Is that how you think you sell fungal? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. F-O-N-G-A-L. That's right. Oh, you gotta let him go. Gotta let him learn on his own.

Fungal. Boy, you are illiterate, huh? You're a pretty smart guy. How are you so dumb with words? I don't know. We'll just stop there. i don't know we'll just stop there i don't need to see a yeast infection on a dude yeah okay so anyways but then he was like saying he started working at goodwill and he was like trying to clear up his fungal shell before he started working at goodwill because then he said anyways now i'm never gonna thrift

shop ever again and yeah yeah yeah yeah it's like you got you get that fungal itch on your your shirt your vintage like guns ands N' Roses shirt. One time I fucked up so bad, it was disgusting. I got a thrift shirt. I got a shirt from the thrift store. And like I washed all of it. And I guess I just like didn't put one of them in the wash. And I wore it for like an hour.

And I was like, I took it off. Just red everywhere. Yeah. I was red for like 12 hours. But it was like, I was like, this is never going to go away. It went away, but I was like really, really worried. I was going to go to the hospital. I was just red. It was crazy. I don't think I've ever washed something from Goodwill

before I wore it. I've washed it after, but I just buy it and put it on. That's nuts. I'm just learning now they don't wash it. I'm sure they smell it. I'm just learning now they don't wash it. I mean, do they smell it? I've never had one. I'm sure they're supposed to and they say they do,

but if you think that they're making sure they wash and fold and iron or everything that comes through there, it's like, no way. I'm not a huge vintage guy, so I don't have a ton of experience with it. I also think there's a difference between vintage and Goodwill. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you're a high-end vintage shop, you're probably doing it. If you're Goodwill, Salvation Army, you're like, here's a fucking t-shirt. You'll wear anything. I've been fucking...

We have them now. Here, show me the shirts. We got the OMG shirts for the Mets, which is the collage montage of everything viral that happened this season. And we got it available in a crew neck. And it's the song and the sign. I had one of these. And we're now several playoff games deep. And I had been sending out my laundry because my laundry room is all under construction.

And so I was just hand washing barstool shirts. And I was like, this is insanity. I've been here for 15 fucking years. You were like, what, over the washboard? I was like washing the armpits. The first one, I just went in the shower with it. And then the next one, I was washing it by hand. And I was just like i i was

like can i get some more fucking shirts god damn it she they were like uh we sent them to meekville i was like those are gone i had to work so goddamn hard just to get a fucking met shirt it's i have none of them from this season because everyone stole them yesterday we got a huge bug apparently third floor came down took them all all. What? I was like, I'm crazy. Rats. They're literal rats. They're in the walls.

They creep down here and just steal your shit. It's nuts. I had streams one time and he's like, the content doesn't even matter. The content never stops. All right.

We'll see you on Monday. Hopefully the Mets have advanced. Otherwise, I will have killed myself. សូវាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប� Thank you.