KFC Radio - The Miz, The Terror of The Tank, and There Are No Rich & Famous Bald Men

Episode Date: November 10, 2020

Subscribe, Rate, and Leave a Review! - Election Recap - (26:00) Four Seasons Mixup - (31:30) Who's back of the Week - (54:00)The Feed Willie Burger controversy - Frank the Tank terrorized us during Stool Streams Jenga - (01:11:00)Top 5 Alex Trebek Moments - (01:33:30) Voicemails (01:56:00) The Miz joins the show. We talk about developing his persona in wrestling, coming onto the scene from reality tv, the crazy, gutsy first date he had with his wife, and much more. Let us know what you think on twitter: @KFCRadio @KFCBarstool @Feitsbarstool @MikeTheMizYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. I will never forgive Nick Tarani for this bit. I will never forgive him for this joke. Because he is an agent of chaos. It's another edition of KFC radio on the Barstool Sports Network. This is our post election episode, our wrap up after the weekend of some people celebrating, some people whining, vaccines being announced, contesting the elections going on. Like anybody who thought it was going to be over, sorely mistaken. I'm sure it will be this way for weeks and weeks and months and probably years to come.

Well, there was a report that Trump is telling aides he might consider a run in 2024, which is a concession. Absolutely. But if you're saying I might run in 2024, you're conceding. Yeah, well, that's what's interesting about the conspiracy theory with the vaccine. If he wants to play that card, he has to concede because it admits, it implies that you lost. If you say, oh, very convenient for the timing of this vaccine to come out after I lost the election, you have to say that you lost the election. Because in his mind –

You know Pfizer was the only person who didn't take government money, though? So they're just – so that – so the conspiracy theory of – They were the only one of the – I think it was Project Rapid Speed or it was Project Warp Speed. Well, Project Warp Speed was what Trump was backing. Right. That was like his thing. They did not take any money from it. Right.

So they – so they – Project Warp Speed was what Trump was backing. They did not take any money from it. Right. So they... Project Warp Speed is such a funny fucking term. Yeah, it's like Space Wars. Yeah, it really is. It's like a kid naming thing. Yes, yes. Project Really Fast. Yeah.

We got to get this vaccine done really, really fast. No, no, no, no. Not really fast. We got to do Warp Speed fast. We got to go light speed, man. But the conspiracy theory is that this vaccine came out after the the election on purpose and you can look at it either as like they wanted to not wanted to not benefit trump or you can think of it especially

if they didn't take any money that they just didn't want it to be politicized at all. So like we're going to hold off, let the people vote on every other issue. There's also the possibility that it just it's just how it happened. Yeah, I find that to be very probably unlikely, but it could be that way. Yeah, I think I think it's first of all, it's not done. We don't have a vaccine. Right. It's not like they said that they need to get that.

Ninety four people test positive they need to get to 164 before they like clear like uh declare it like a vaccine and then that would be ready for the third quarter of next year so even so it's almost like i think i think i think the opposite of everything then because i think that like making this announcement totally unnecessary so like you're almost adding fuel to the conspiracy theory fire which like just don't make an announcement we don't have a vaccine yeah but i think that it was i think that it's enough of a a uh uh results but like if i was gonna do something next fall i wouldn't tell you today uh yeah but i think that there's probably reasons to do to like i think that there's a reason why

they announced it be it for like their own stock price or their own benefit or whatever um or like for science in general like this is the way to do it like we're on the right track there's enough that came out that they were like this is when they would speak up like they're not just like willy-nilly doing it it's like this is far enough along with enough positive results that there's a reason to talk about it because there's been you know there's been all sorts of trials going on that nobody there hasn't been like an announcement like this because this is the furthest and the best that has resulted so far. But we're still a year out. We're still a year out from being able to administer it to everyone. But as far as being the –

We're not a year out from like – Having 15 to 20 million doses. Right. But we're not a year out from that. And then all those aren't even coming to us. That's the logistical shit of how to administer it, but as far as the research of the medicine of it, they're on it right now.

But I think I believe, and I could be wrong, I believe when it's done in a year, they will have 15 to 20 million cases to distribute worldwide. You'd have to imagine that's going to be important people. I think it's like legally it has to go to everybody, almost like housing kind of deal, like when they build a big skyscraper, like something's got to go here.

I think it has to go everywhere. But the, I mean, so this is an announcement saying nothing. That's not saying nothing. As far as how it affects. If that's the vaccine, it's like as far as how this is the if this is if that's the vaccine it's like now we need to like administer it but if they figured out the science that's a big deal that's but like the logistical side of it is different than the medicine side of it yeah in a year we will have enough kate vaccines for i don't even know the math 15 out of 7 billion yeah

so i mean they got a long way to go of course course, to curing it all. But if I mean, if this came out during the campaign season, Trump would be riding that hardcore. There'd be a lot of people who are like Donald Trump, like got the vaccine done. Project Warp Speed worked. Right. So I think people would be quick to give it to him. But like, I don't like I don't think a politician deserves. I wouldn't know. This doesn't matter who's in the office. I don't think like I think he would have won if he got a vaccine out oh i don't think so at all i do you'll play five million votes i i think that would have switched severely if there was like i mean maybe

if it's like when the campaign started a year ago but like i mean if they had if say they were it was probably too little too late if they held it for a week the thing is his campaign didn't have like he didn't have a campaign really he did you know like he didn't but he didn't have like a campaign message but the first time he did the first time it was like you know i'm not a politician drain the swamp yada yada and that really resonated with people this time around it was just like i mean he had a campaign message it was build the wall like he didn't do any of the stuff right but he but he had like something to campaign with and this time he could have made up stuff again yeah he should have what i mean i don't know why

he didn't do anything but if he had a message. Yeah, he should have. I don't know why he didn't do anything but if he had a message of I got dealt the shitty hand of Corona and within months I had a vaccine, I think that would have made a huge difference. I mean, Corona's why he lost. So if he could have... I don't think that either.

Oh, come on! I don't think that's why. I think obviously everything plays a factor. I mean, if there was not a worldwide pandemic, I think we would have just kept going exactly how it was going, which was trending that way. But I don't think that, like, yeah, it played a big factor, no doubt. But I don't think a lot of places in red states, they back their guys because of Corona,

because it's like, we're all in this shit together. Let's fucking flow. Yeah. So, like, the argument is, like, a lot is like a lot is like it's like all right mainly we all got dealt a shitty hand let's let's get behind each other let's do this that's how but i think like in general like the like when the economy tanks like you usually lose your presidency too right so like if it's just uh if times get bad people are like we need to change something because we just can't keep doing it like it is and corona was just just like the ultimate, like times are going bad.

So I think like states like Pennsylvania where there are people who are like skewing towards Trump, but we're like, this is just too much of a fucking shit show. We got to try something different. If it wasn't a shit show, if it was just going the same way it was, I think people would have just been like MAGA, MAGA, MAGA. I think the people who are MAGA, MAGA, MAGA

are MAGA, MAGA, MAGA no matter what. But the swing states, which is what it all comes down to, I think would have that message of anti-politician, anti-establishment could have just kept going because there was nothing pressing. There was no reason to stop it. Now they needed to stop it because it was like, well, we need someone. We need the adults in charge because we have a major, major problem on our hands. If there was no major problem, I think would have just continued with the the wall and the

maga and like the the fluffy yeah but also you have to like once it became concrete and you didn't have anything concrete i think he was fucked yeah you know yeah i guess i but i also think like you know you have to look to the root of the problem of the pandemic where it's like why is there a pandemic particularly bad in america because we didn't have a politician. Because we had someone who put like Jared Kushner on his cover on a task force. I think Biden announced this today and it's like six doctors. Everyone's like, whoa, this is weird. Six epidemiologists.

I wonder though, I guess short of a... I don't know if Kushner was on it, but... Short of just a national mask mandate, which is a big deal, admittedly, but like what... What can you do? I don't know the answer to that but i know it's worse here than everywhere else yeah but that see that's what i also go back to like it is his fault but i think had there not been a coronavirus and there wasn't you know 25

percent of the deaths in america i feel like he would have just kept beating his drum and dumb people would have just kept going for it probably so Then that's what you're going to hear from him. When he finally does concede, whenever it is, or when he finally moves on in some regard, he's just going to be like... He's doing campaign rallies. Yeah, I mean, I think he's...

I think you'll hear... This is going to be a four-year-long campaign. I think he will... Like, I just said in one minute, man, like, okay, you won, but, like, did you really? Because now you're going to have to listen to Donald Trump campaign

for four straight years. Should be fun. i i buckle up the only conspiracy theory i have is that he wanted to lose and that he just i would have thought that he has this macho man thing but i think he has like they have like plans for trump tv and yeah i think that was the original idea was to get all the publicity right campaign and then like i'm not actually gonna be president let's just go launch that that's the thing that everybody keeps talking about the like he wants his own channel like oprah whatever but i think once he got into it it's like when you watch portnoy operate so he doesn't really care about these things but then he gets into it and then the ego kicks in and now he cares about it so i think now it's it's too late but had it happened like had he somehow could have like

bowed out after like a year or something that he would have been like yeah i mean i never wanted this the first place let me just go back to being you entertainer. That's why, if I was him, I would concede by just being like, eh, you know. He should have resigned as soon as he got it. I just wanted to show you. Just prove the point. Yeah, and that I think, then he still would have kind of been the, he's certainly not lovable, but like this

entertaining, you know. I honestly, my thing with him has never been political, and it became political once he became a politician. I've always hated Donald Trump. I find him insufferable. Yeah. I just don't. I don't find him.

I never understood. Even Mac Miller had this song. I'm like, I'm not Donald Trump shit. I was like, this song fucking sucks because that dude's a loser. Yeah. He's a loser's idea of a cool guy. Yes. He's like the rich kid in high school who has money.

Right. You can party at his house. You're a fucking loser because you have a nice car. I'll hang out with you. But there was something like, there is something funny about it unintentionally funny but there is something again it's very similar to dave where it's like the way he like gets shit wrong or or like the way he like is just like a braggadocious idiot makes you like it comes across as entertaining rather than anything else.

I see, I find Dave's funny probably because I know Dave personally, and I know he's last name, so I don't give a shit. Yeah. And I don't know John personally, obviously. Yeah. But, like, there was never, like,

I don't know if it's, like, the celebrity, but the celebrity reference was, like, a hit show for a while. I was like, this show fucking sucks because I have to do the dickhead. Yeah. There was, I don't know. Yeah, but, like, most people,

like, the you're fired became a thing, and, like, he, you know, made the appearance in, like in like Home Alone, like little things like that where it's like – But that was – I mean that was like – He was just a rich – Yeah, but that's what I mean. He was a rich kid. For so long, he was the rich guy who just was like – he's always an asshole. I get it.

But I think there was most people – the reason why there were rap songs and shit about him was that it was just like a, this is this cartoon character almost, you know? And had he just played that and like, like, like early on, it was funny. You know what I mean? Like we were laughing at the campaign shit.

I don't think I ever did. Oh, I hated when we were selling the hats. I hated when we did that. Yeah. We like that at that point, it was still like, nobody thought it was going to go down this road of like horrendous fucking

everything, you know? But, uh, had he just been like, I just proved that your whole fucking system is trash, that all you lifelong politicians are garbage, and I just clowned your whole fucking industry, but I'm out. I don't need this. You know what I mean? I think it would have been probably more of a statement than anything, than anything he accomplished if he was just like, see? You guys have no idea what you're doing. i still feel like to some extent he did that how so like i mean it'll probably bounce back in a sense of uh like go back to the politicians we

kind of talked about it last episode but i feel like he did kind of leave a mark of like there's a fuck ton of people but i mean like 71 million people who were like he's not the first act like reagan was an actor he's not the first no no i mean i mean the first person to like uh kind of shifted in the sense of like there's 71 million people who feel like you know they're not their voice isn't heard they're not represented that the whole system doesn't work for them like all that shit i feel like he kind of empowered a whole bunch of fucking a lot of fucking assholes but like you could say that about any losing election yeah but i feel like he like the way his his like whole campaign ran i feel like was more of a statement than other than other losing campaigns like well because he won the first time around so i feel like that was the point was made like

um and then i think this time around like i said i think if it wasn't for covid i think it would have just kept going i think it would have been the whole idea of like we are bucking the system we're like you know the the lifelong politician is not who represents us anymore all that kind of shit but i think it has what represents who like most of america well i mean a fuck ton yeah like the majority of states you know like it's all like the you know the concentration no doubt but i feel like you know the, yeah. Like the majority of states. It's all – the concentration, no doubt. But I feel like the majority of states and the majority of like middle America, like huge swaths of the country I guess. You have like obviously pockets of densely populated cities but like the map of – But all the cities. But like the map – the map is so – I hate when they show the map because the map is just a lie.

It looks so red. Right. It's like it's just – that's not where people live right where people live almost like if you look at the maps like where people live we're all blue like every even in red states if there are people who live there it's blue and then like it like ends up looking like red and it's like let's not that's not indicative to what actually happened yeah well i mean yeah i mean it's it's obviously down to the numbers no doubt but i think that the the losing I think, in this case still is a, like, I think the perception has really kind of changed in how politicians will approach people going forward. Yeah.

I think it's hard to be like, you know, I don't think even though you won, it's like there's a fuck ton of people who do not agree with how your side rolls at all. But that's every election. But I think more so than ever, it's the most polarized it's ever been. And I think it's hard to like – I think it's polar. There's no coming together here. There's no like, well, I think in the past it hasn't been as much like hatred or like complete opposite the way it is now. Yeah.

Well, I think it always has been. It's just now the social media. Yeah. But I think that social media rallies people and changes people to like, once you have that understanding and that knowledge and that information, it just, it pushes you even further apart.

Yeah. So I feel like there's just no, like you can't just run. This is kind of like what Cal Penn was telling us, like where, how it, it trickles down. Your vote does matter because they're like, Joe Biden has to be like, a lot of people disagree with me, and so I have to run things somewhat accordingly.

But again, that's what happens with a loser. He's going to win the election by the biggest margin ever. So every other election would be like a lot of people disagree with me. I think he's going to win – I think they say he's probably going to win 52 percent. In my life, I've never seen it be this much of a clash where it's like – I mean in other elections when one side loses, they're not happy about it. But I've never felt it where it's been like you cannot – like we disagree categorically on absolutely every single thing you stand for. And I think that's what you have to look at like why. cannot like we disagree categorically on absolutely every single thing you stand for and i think that's what you have to look at like why i think i think donald trump plays a huge factor in that

yeah well yeah but i think that he kind of played like he became it but i think he he and whoever runs his campaigns and shit i think like identified it and exploited it right and i think that that was there and it was like bubbling and they like were like, there's something here where if you rally these people and give them the voice that they feel that they have not had, you'll become. Who's the voice who didn't have the voice? That middle America. But like middle America overwhelmingly voted for Joe Biden. Like working class people overwhelmingly voted for Joe Biden.

I mean, I personally think because of coronavirus. I think if shit did not hit the fan, I think they would not have. I think that the working class middle American feels that like the liberal elite are like these smug assholes who don't represent them at all. And 60% of them voted for Biden because of the coronavirus? Yeah. I think that the coronavirus and the economy like fucking scares people. Like we need to change something. I think if you're that like fuck the liberal elites, like you're going to blame the pandemic on Trump and you're like, all right, we're back with the liberal elites.

I do. I mean, I think that that was enough to make like the pennsylvania's and let's swing states of the world the liberal we have to stop saying liberal elites by the way it's insane but that's that's what that's what i mean that's what people people are like i hate liberal elites and i'm voting for a guy who lives in a fucking gold tower that's why it was a reality tv host like it's the stupidest thing of all time it's the greatest like scam that's ever been pulled that they convinced a huge chunk of people that he is a populist and he's for the people it's insane it's like he would literally spit on your face he would kick you like he would not he would not break bread with you he wouldn't look your way he wouldn't fucking piss on you if you were on fire

he would spit on your face he lived in all he ever wanted to do was be famous and be in Hollywood and be elite. And then he just was like, nope, I'm going to pretend the opposite. And these motherfuckers bought it. It's crazy. But that's because, like I said, I think they were like, it could have been it should have been someone who who would actually like who represented that. It would have made more sense. But I think they would have latched on to anybody who preached that message doesn't matter clearly doesn't matter who it came from because they just wanted that message to be like out there and heard and they

would even let allow a fucking billionaire elitist the most elitist of all time to deliver it for them but i also think like the middle class working like middle america working class gets misconstrued and like it's it's stereotypical of us to think like anyone at a trump rally is like middle america working class whereas like i think largely that's not the case like those are rich people like like if you look at those those events and like trump rallies and things like that where you see people in like jacked up like seventy thousand dollar trucks with their like fifteen thousand dollars worth of guns yeah they're not middle america you're not working class you're rich yeah you're a rich person but yeah and that

and that's like they they have all convinced themselves whether it's donald trump or them or their neighbors that they are like the down and out like fucking we need the unheard voice like you're a white man and eighty thousand dollars you're just racist you're just fucking racist and angry that's like, all those things. You always saw these big trucks and these dudes with these... All that shit is fucking expensive. You're not working class if you have all that stuff. Right, right.

It sucks. Right now, I don't think it can be viewed as anything other than just horrendously divisive and all that shit. But I think one day when they do the Harvard business study or write the books on it or whatever, like,

like it's just a shame that he was such an asshole because I think there, there could have been like good to come out of like the idea that like, you know, these guys who have been in, in place for 50 fucking years who only look out for their own self interests and like the way that the system is run is trash. But then, you know, the one guy who

could buck the trend like did it worse yeah i i always thought that was silly that was always like a thing that i feel like people when they first wrote for him they always made excuses as to why they were voting for him and it was like oh we need washington needs a shake-up that was always the one that like a lot of people said they just didn't want to say like i like his tax cuts just fucking say it stop being a pussy and just fucking voting with my wallet i think that's like totally a valid thing to do and it's not an honorable thing not a you know you maybe not proud of it but if it's just like i i worry about my money and my family and this is what affects me so i'm voting for that right and it was like like it didn't need to shake up because look at like we shook it we shook it

a lot yeah we fucking hit it with a goddamn earthquake. Shaken country syndrome. And everyone who was there beforehand was there. Like the drain in the swamp stuff. Everyone's there. Mitch McConnell's still hanging out. It's all the fucking same. The thing that pisses me off, not pisses me off, it just like it annoys me.

It frustrates me. It's like it is never going to change for me. Like I'm going to be fine. I'm a white guy who to change for me like it like i'm going to be fine i'm a white guy who does pretty well for himself i'm always going to be fine yeah and then when you like i don't like seeing people on social media who are like and look at this like my life hasn't changed at all despite it's probably like yeah i know some people's lives we're fucking lucky man like i'm very lucky i'm like my life is not going to change nothing changed in the last four years right nothing will change in the next four. And it's going to be the fucking same.

But I think it's just such a cop out. People are like, well, life doesn't change. It's a very short sighted, like, closed minded view. But I also can understand, like, the I guess it's funny that the people who there are some people who, like, don't have the luxury to look past. Like, their, you know, their fucking minimum wage, their 95, their their taxes, you know. And then I can understand being like, I, I don't like that there's fucking racism or kids in cages or whatever. But I need like this to happen to in order to survive. But it's the people who actually like do have the luxury, you know, sense you know what i mean like you can say that your

your your day-to-day doesn't change because like you have everything you know it's like those are the two extremes it's like the one guy who could be like i just need to worry about my day-to-day because i can't fucking survive worrying about anything else yeah those are the people who get to say that the people like who are saying it are the ones who actually could you're the ones who saying, I'm good no matter what, so let me try to speak up for the people. But that's also a very idealistic way that I don't expect many people to do. I don't do it myself. I can't be like, I'm not out here trying to be a hero for the underrepresented people of the world because I'm good, because I still have my own shit to worry about, and I'm kind of selfish. I think that's what – someone tweeted Chrissy Teigen that once.

Like, why do all you celebrities want to vote for Joe Biden? Like, don't you know he's going to put your taxes up? She's like, yeah. But I can afford it. I know, and I can afford it. So, like, it's kind of the same thing. But that's, I do understand the people in the middle who are like, I can't afford it. But the people in the middle, like, that, I think that also is just because people, like, you hear one thing and you just kind of, like, agree with it.

And you, like, never, like, look, like, Joe Biden's not becoming a social. Like, remember when it became a meme where it's like. When 50 Cent said there was going to be 62% taxes. But it is higher. It's higher, but it's money over $400,000. Yeah. No, you're not... Almost everyone freaking out about that.

You don't have to worry about that. You're not going to hit that. Right, right. It's chill. Yeah, yeah. Remember it became a meme? If your pillows look like this, don't worry about Joe Biden's tax plan.

If you have a bag full of bags under your sink, don't worry about Joe Biden's tax plan. There was one that was just clearly like a frat bro's dorm with the tables looked with just shit everywhere. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The one guy was like, I know exactly what you're talking about. I'm just worried about Biden's tax plan, man. And it's like, you can't see the fucking floor. Dude, the bag with the bag is probably, I want a full sociological study, psychological study on that. Like, everybody just does it for some reason.

I don't know why. It's just like, if you had somebody in your family who did it, then when you're old enough to do it, you do it too. I didn't think much about it. And you know what I will say, though? I kind of use them. I never use them. I guess I use them mostly with my kids. Like with diapers, I tie it up.

But I actually use those bags a decent amount. I lied. I do use them in the bathroom trash bags. Yeah. So, like, it actually – that's my own. That's the only form of recycling i believe in is just using those fucking bags it feels very stupid to just take those and throw them out for whatever reason putting them underneath the sink that makes much more sense to me it's something that everybody

does uh just like masturbating everybody masturbates just like the people if you put your bags under your sink you masturbate if you don't put your bags under your sink you masturbate everybody masturbates since the beginning of time, jerking off has just been, like, the same way. It's like Costanza said with the toilet paper, where it's like, it's never changed. It's never gonna change. Guess what, Costanza? The game done changed. We flipped it on its head.

The game done changed thanks to Trojan. Trojan has come out with Tantrix pleasure sheets. Now, I shouldn't say that masturbating has never changed, because they tried to change jerking off. They have these devices and these electronics and these big

plastic things. As someone who's tested a couple of them, dabbled the worst. You gotta clean them. Cleaning is crazy. You know when you close the window and you're like, oh, I'm disgusting? Try cleaning your jerk off toy. It's ridiculous. It feels like they're all big and bulky. It feels like you're like, oh, I'm disgusting. Yeah. Try cleaning your jerk off toy. It's ridiculous. It feels like they're all big and bulky.

It feels like you're fucking a fridge. Like you're just, you're trying to hold a gallon of milk with two hands and jerk it off. It doesn't make any sense. You know, you know the old euphemism, like a hot dog down a hallway.

That's what it feels like. It feels like I'm holding like a skyscraper and I'm trying to have sex with it. And then the cleanup, it's already messy enough for us guys. Now we have to like a device that I, gotta get out like the power washer like blasting the hose through it to clean it off to be alone in the shower not with my jerk off toy like fucking soaping it down it's this thing so trojans come out basically with this disposable pleasure sheet

so you rip it out you wrap it around your dick you use a little bit of lube and next thing you know it's like you're having sex and then you just throw it away and next time you want another one you grab a new sheet you don't have to worry about hiding it you don't have to worry about being ashamed of it cleaning it it's just the hiding it is the worst because those are in you ever hit a fridge it's hard to hide those and classic how many times we made the joke about what you know if i ever die you got to go to my place and get everything out from underneath the bed because i don't want people finding that nope don't have to worry about any of that it's a new way and a better way to masturbate after like 10 000 years trojan has done changed the game so go to uh amazon walmart walmart.com anywhere you can get them and make masturbation that much better shout out to Trojan Tantrix changing the game

that's that was a straight up that's the onion come to life that's an SNL skit Trump and company doing their big like you know an important fucking announcement an important press conference if you will

in front of this four seasons landscaping and to me the tweet from like the CEO or whatever the founder I don't even know if you call, in front of this Four Seasons landscaping. And to me, the tweet from the CEO or whatever, the founder, I don't even know if you call it a CEO. Did you see that? Where he was just like, we here at Four Seasons landscaping. Wait, that was real? I thought so.

No. Oh, I thought that was a tweet. Was that a joke? Oh, I thought that was real. I saw that tweet. If that was from the CEO, that would be fucking hilarious. I thought it was real. See, the whole situation, that's a difficult situation for me. Because on the one hand, it is absolutely hilarious.

It's just very, very funny. But it's also like people took it too far and ran with it. Like they accidentally booked it. They didn't accidentally book it. They booked it at a stupid place. But it wasn't an accident. No, not at all. The people who think that's an accident are just either you're trying too hard to bash trump like it's just it's funny on its own yeah

they just chose that place to book it right but in what world do you accidentally book the four seasons landscaping like it's impossible no yeah yeah it's literally like hello four seasons landscaping hi this is Donald Trump campaign. We'd like to book an event there for a press conference. What? You know, the daughter of the business owner who's like 16 years old getting her first job. Right. Yeah, that sounds great.

We definitely do events. Awesome. Lovely. I have no desire to talk to your event manager. I do not want to know. No details. No nothing. We'll just see you there in a little bit.

Lo and behold, presidential conference. That's just not how those work. You ask to speak to people, you ask to talk, you confirm, you tell them what the address is, you tell them it doesn't happen like that. So they meant to book four season landscaping and that in and of itself

is hilarious. Just let it be. It wasn't like a fucking i mean and the fact oh the fact because this this part they definitely didn't know they did not know that it was fucking it's two neighboring buildings were a crematorium and a sex shop he didn't they did not know that that i'm sure of they they they knew they knew they were booking it at a landscaping company they did not know that fantasy island in between fantasy island with the it was a dildo store and erotic novels is right next door it looks like a fucking house it looks like like fucking i don't know a discount kink

shop like kink set because it's like it is just like you know how like sex shops are like you can't really have windows i guess unless you're unless you're in new york city right most fucking x-rated buildings have no windows it's like a box and it's just this tall it actually looks like that thing you did like a one minute man on or or uh mail time where it was yeah the window was building for the nsa to hide the the spying yeah yeah that's like something's going on maybe that's what's going on maybe the four seasons is like where they hide the spying. Yeah, something's going on. Maybe that's what's going on. Maybe the Four Seasons is where they hide the fucking Area 51 shit. And then the guy got mad, the guy, the owner, because people just kept calling.

And obviously, like people were doing with the voter fraud hotlines, they're just calling and pranking it. They just called and pranked everyone involved around it. And I hate the people who are going on Four Seasons Landscaping and giving it bad reviews. You're a fucking loser. I think they had a pretty cool statement where they were like, we were honored and we would have hosted absolutely anybody. Of course, I think they just wanted it.

They said they just wanted it off 95. Right. Like, we don't want to be in Philly fucking at all. So we'll just go off and go. You shouldn't want to be in Philly because that fucking Harlan Hill dude decided he wanted to go to Philly. And then just everyone just kept following him. Like, Philly is, I make fun of Philly, but like, Philly is the city you don't fuck with. They deserve, yeah, they deserve the reputation.

You don't tell them you're going there for war when you look like a fucking frat boy who didn't make the cut. Like, who wouldn't go fucking elephant walk. And everyone's like, get the fuck out of here harlan you're cut like and you just walk around and people just follow him like harlan with them hands at with them hands at because guess what philly will fuck you up and if they all overwhelmingly voted for trump as they did probably not the best to go fuck with a mother in the middle of the party no did you see like they're at they're like the elmo dancing they had fucking a bunch of gritties dancing which is the funniest shit ever every gritty meme fucking killed me.

And then they just had this huge fucking bird. Do you see that? It's just a monstrous Eagles logo. Like someone just had it. That wasn't something you could have built that fast. They were just like, yeah, we got our giant Eagles. Had it laying around in the backyard. Dude, I didn't realize that the first person they brought up was a fucking sex offender. Daryl Brooks, the first person Rudy Giuliani

called up as a witness to the baseless allegations of voter fraud at the Four Seasons Total Landscaping in Philadelphia was Daryl Brooks, a convicted sex offender who exposed himself to little girls. Just an all-around well-executed... So you know what? The gamers in the gamer world

have created, in virtual reality, they've created the landscaping and furries have invaded it. So there's just all the, in the gamer world there's all these people in VR furries just like fucking each other outside of the Four Seasons landscape

thing. I mean, it is hilarious. It is too good. Like just the fact that Trump misconstrued it. And I was like, we're going to the four seasons. Whoops. There might delete that tweet. We're going to the four seasons. Total landscaping, which implies the belief that there is a four seasons part landscaping.

Like total. This is the full one. We only do bush pruning. You're looking for total. If you're looking for a new lawn. By the way, I got a segment. it's called who's back of the week uh didn't steal it from any podcast certainly not one of our sports totally unique totally original i think the who's back of the week is the american flag and you can rock it again and not be worried about being called like i think right like it's it it's like um i'm trying to

think of a brand that's like a strong comp for it we're like i guess maybe yeezys would be one we're like you never had a problem with how they looked you never really had a problem with the organization as a whole but the people who wear them are douchebags and you don't want to be associated with it we're like it wasn't a political thing like i hate america it's not a good thing it's just like everyone who has this is a loud asshole and it's just fucking annoying to be around and then i was just walking to grab drinks with uh nate and nick saturday night and people were out and like i just saw people with american flags i was like it's like a totally it might not be an asshole yeah like it might just be a regular person yo the amount of because

like it's it's it's straight like it strongly not, it was never a political, like, I was never embarrassed to be an American. I was never, like, it was just that, like, they had been overtaken. If you were waving a flag on the back of your truck or whatever for the last four years, it was... We said it recently, that the one way you could know someone was going to have a shitty tweet is if that, if they were in your mentions and they had an American flag in their hat.

It's almost like the N-word. We're taking it back. We are re-appropriating it. We're going to empower it. We're going to empower it by using it. It was like, because people had like seven different American flags on them.

I wonder if, do you think Oakley's can have a glow up now? Those glasses were the other sign. It was the American flag and those guys with those fucking glasses. Being bald-headed, wearing those sunglasses and having the American flag were out the last two years.

It wasn't the full four years, but it was two years and it took a little while for everyone to realize, wait a minute, everyone who does this is being a dickhead to me. Why? It's not even like, again, it wasn't really't really political it was like you're just an asshole yeah i just don't know what you happen to all wear this flaunt that and have that haircut it was it was like imagine being at i mean there's no like owner of the american flag per se but like but but when all

those if you may if you manufacture sunglasses like that and that meme goes around, you're probably like, fuck. Fuck. You sold cars you were pissed because everyone's taking a fucking selfie in the driver's seat. If you sold a truck. Dickhead. Yeah. If you liked the cab of your truck, you were fucking an asshole. This guy is going to have something in his fucking bio where it's like professional asshole or something like that.

Like, fuck your feelings. You know what else is happening right now? Facts don't care about you. He's going to have something frustrating in his Bible. And a proverb. And a proverb. Maybe the Bible's going to come back too. The Bible's going to come.

I wonder right now, we're going through a, and I think I'm leading the charge here. You cannot, you can no longer tweet a story about your child. You can't do it. You cannot tweet my blank, blank year old child XYZ. You can't do it because nobody will believe you. And most of them, and again, I'm leading the charge because most of them are so blatantly fake and so

ridiculous. Which one? It was, I think it was after the Bruce Condon where it was like, I forget. It was with, when Shay was like, what are you talking about?

Oh yeah. Yeah. My own version of that. She was, she said, what's a president. She doesn't fucking know any of these things. Uh,

S E cup had a good one too, where it was like, she asked her son, what, what qualities should be in a president? And he was like, medium sized, has a good one too, where it was like, she asked her son, what, what qualities should be in a president? And he was like, medium sized, has a mustache.

Like that's the real answer of a, of a four year old. There's people who are like, I mean, if you're going to try to tell me that your kid knows the vice president, like, no, she,

no, they fucking don't. But I got a couple of DMS this weekend of, uh, people being like my like four-year-old like did kind of have like a funny moment that was real but i'm afraid to tweet it you cannot and you really can't be even like you can't be inspirational about a dead person right now like if you say some some corny shit about about trebek or somebody it's like you get you

just get lumped in with rukanda. Someone said, I think it was after, I think it was on Saturday. No, it was yesterday. So I forget if it was after the election or after the Trebek, but someone said, like, right now is like the purge, but for bad tweets. Yes. We're just allowed to have it.

Get him in. So did you see the mural of Kobe, Ruth playing Jeopardy? Yeah. And Adam the Creator made that. And Adam the Creator is usually pretty? Yes. Playing jeopardy. Yeah. And Adam, the creator made that. And Adam, the creator is usually pretty good.

He rolls a Frank, Frank, thanks Sinatra. Like, but his tweet was just like a heart emoji and like a flag. And like, it wasn't really like a LOL. Like,

like I'm, I'm playing. Cause he's like, he's like, is he tricking me into thinking? That's what I know. Like he's good enough and smart enough that maybe he's just riding this wave and not being like, yeah, this is a totally normal thing to make,

a totally normal mural. I love how they covered up Kobe's score, too, by the way, and Kobe's money. Ruth Bader Ginsburg had like $91,000. Chadwick Boseman had $82,000. Kobe clearly would have got trounced. By the way, I don't know. I don't know if I agree with that.

Kobe's very smart. Well, he was smart for, I think't know much about it. I don't know if I agree with that. Kobe's very smart. Well, he was smart for, I think he was like athlete smart. I mean, he was like, I don't know if he was Supreme Court justice smart. Well, no, I think him and Bozeman probably would have been battling for the runner up. So Chadwick Bozeman, that's the soul. I think he's getting a lot of credit that I don't know if he deserves. I mean, he's just an actor. And I know he played like influential roles and like did a lot but like he when when when like when they both died i know it just

happened because they died at the same time basically but like i don't know we were putting on like the supreme court justice level unless i'm wrong maybe he was he like this activist was he he's he was certainly not i don't know enough about it okay i'm gonna distance myself from that take though just to be safe. But you know what I mean? Isn't that kind of crazy that he's like, you can't. I mean, he definitely. He is like canonized, Chadwick Boseman now.

He is like. I think he knew he's been dying. Sean Connery died, too. Are we. Who? Sean Connery died, you know. Maybe he's a bad example because he slaps women. Yeah, he was.

But did you see that Avengers video where Sean Connery was in it? Yeah, that was insane. I think that was just a joke. women. But did you see that Avengers video where Sean Connery was in it? Yeah, that was insane. I think that was just a joke. Yeah. But some people were like, no, no, no. I think that whole thing was a joke. He was like, he had his views. He would have been there.

I think that was a joke, guys. I just think that Chadwick Boseman, for what I know, and I know Black Panther is more than just a movie, and he played the role, so I get it. It's important. But I don't know if that was uh denzel washington's kid was his name or one you know another another or if it was lakeith stanfield or whatever you know like would that have been but he's he's known he's been dying for like five years so he's for like the five years like phil and thopper because he's on the way out and been yeah and i know i guess he hasn't known he's

been dying he's known he's had a difficult form of cancer. I think he did beat it at one point and then got it back and all that stuff. But I think he had kind of one of those epiphanies where it's like... I saw the children's hospitals and he did good things. But there's other

people, actors, entertainers, whoever, who also are involved in charities or whatever. He got immediately elevated to this Supreme Court justice level I feel like. Maybe he earned it. I don't know. I think RBG probably deserves to be on a different level than Kobe and Chadwick Boseman. Right. But I think he intentionally took activist type roles and things like that.

Jackie Robinson, Black Panther. The next one coming out is going to be a big one. Yeah, and then he had also, I think he was in what's the one with the Vietnam, the Netflix movie? The Chicago 7. The Six Bloods or whatever it is. The Five Bloods. He's in that, right?

Excuse me, I'm pretty sure he's in that. I think that was like an all black. Well, whatever, then I'm just an uninformed white guy. Fuck you. I also don't know. I'm pretty sure he's in, I think that was like an all black well whatever, then I'm just an uninformed white guy, fuck you I also don't know, I'm speaking from, I know he he definitely has a run of activist

he ain't no Alex Trebek okay, let's put it that way yeah, he was into Five Bloods and he also played Thurgood Marshall and then the next one coming up is I think a jazz singer who fights, you know, fights, who has to deal with racism. Ma Rainey's Black Bottom.

Yeah, yeah. Alex Trebek, though, kicks the bucket. See, I guess, I guess. Oh, before we get to Trebek, I got another thing I want to say. Yeah. One of the stupidest things that's happened, did you see Saturday Night Live? I didn't, and I got on I you still haven't seen it?

no oh you have yeah I know all you have to watch is the monologue because I think I started I got up to when he talked about his great grandfather

and I was like this guy's been bought and sold more than I have oh yeah he got no money for that but the what's happened afterwards is so insane how like

people are quoting what he what Chappelle was saying in his monologue like he was speaking in front of Congress. You know what's happening to Chappelle? I feel like I've seen this word thrown around about him a lot recently that he's a communicator.

I've heard him be called the greatest communicator on the planet. And I understand why. But I think he would probably be like, I'm a fucking comedian guys like that was and he he also i mean maybe he wouldn't because he does take on he knows what he's taking on he knows he's like he's speaking on important issues and like i think he does take on like a responsibility of it but at the end of the day he's still that's like a stand-up yeah so he's on a comedy show doing comedy yeah and like the hill the new york post yeah

what's washington washington post yeah they're all like quoting it like he's saying something like like it's a fucking inauguration speech or something like it was insane how it was happening because that was i laughed out loud a lot in that monologue it was fucking they should let him when when he was talking about the like the um the meetings from the town, and he's like, my kids are trying to go to bed, and all they hear is the N-word. He's like, from me or from you? Dude, he had so many different fucking parts where, like, my favorite joke was fucking when he talked about Trump getting COVID. And he said, Donald Trump getting COVID was like Freddie Mercury getting AIDS. No one was like, well, how did he get it?

It's about right. It's about right. It was more like, what took you so long? I can't believe it took this long for you to get that shit. But he was talking, he had like, I think he had like, he's like, I don't get why white people don't wear masks. Like why middle America, why the South doesn't wear masks?

He's like, you wear the mask at the Klan rally, wear it at Walmart. Yeah, I heard that one. I don't even think that was particularly funny because it's like, yeah. That's a broad stroke. Yeah, it's funny, don't get me wrong, but it's not like, oh, only Chappelle could have said that. No, anybody can say that. But like, they're quoting that like, this is what Chappelle, or when he's talking about, he's calling like white people the new N-words. No, I didn't say that. But like, they're quoting that. Like, this is what you felt. Or when he's talking about, he's calling white people the new N-words. No, I didn't hear that.

He's like, he's like. Oh, boy. He was like, he's like giving out N-word lessons to white people. Because he's like, remember when Reagan said that it was like, it was like that black people are on welfare and drug addicts. Takes a drag a cigarette. What does that sound like now? He's like us black people just trying to move forward,

and these white N-words keep holding us back. He is unbelievable. He was at him, Chris Rock, and Jim Carrey were all at the stand on Saturday night. Really? I don't think Chris Rock and Jim Carrey were all at the stand on Saturday night. I don't think Chris Rock and Jim Carrey performed. Chappelle was running through his monologue for the last time. But all three of those guys were there.

Next time there's comedians in town for Saturday Night Live, you go to the stand. That's where they go. Is that where they go? For whatever reason, the owners are open. They have the outdoors. They're also a staple yeah i think that's what burr went to right yeah yeah they for whatever reason the owners or i think oh because they're open they have the outdoors that's probably why so they're the only ones open but they're also like a you know a staple of new york city comedy but like if you saw

you know and you know what's funny about that trio that trio there i think of jim carrey being the not by any means like the best but like that's the i can see running into chappelle or chris rock at a comedy comedy club i just don't think of um carrie as a stand-up anymore so like seeing that would be the they act but they they do yeah those are stand-up comedians doing our lifetime i don't think so yeah maybe since we've watched comedy since his like you know uh ace ventura like you know start the mask all that uh I don't think so. But I guess, I mean, I'm sorry.

I want to say I've seen a Jim Carrey bit in black and white. No. I don't think he's done a stand-up special. I think I've seen the black and white stuff. Right? Yeah. I think he has black and white stuff. No.

Yeah, because he never had his own special. He was on. No, guys. No no it doesn't make any sense so it must have been shot in black i was gonna say maybe yeah it was just shot in black okay but it's not i mean television was in color in like the 60s yeah it's all like i think i think you know honestly like it makes sense i don't know if you maybe he didn't do stand-up i just know he did like in lemon color right so he did he definitely had stand sketch comedy but like but i i think you know uh i've it's never happened to me but you hear these stories of like

we were at the stand and louis ck came and like it happens and it's it's rare but it's cool but to see like a fucking blockbuster movie actor to be like also there to me that would be like the whoa yeah this is crazy because you can catch burr you can catch those guys but you're not gonna catch you know it'd be like seeing adam sandler this is crazy. Because you can catch Burr. You can catch those guys. But you're not going to catch, you know. It would be like seeing Adam Sandler there. You know, it's just like, whoa, this is. Did he do stand-up? Sandler?

Because he had that thing on Netflix that was like a pseudo stand-up, like a pseudo special. I would say, like, everyone, they've all done stand-up a little bit. Isn't it where he did his songs and stuff? Yeah, that's what I mean, though. It's like, you know, he had, like, he performed in front of, like, arenas. But it wasn't like a. But I guess that is stand-up so but yeah that uh next time snl's got a con i feel like they're gonna do i hope they do more of that like i don't know maybe not

maybe bill burr and them are like gave him bad press like like polarizing press but like did they notice that the last two times they did it were the only two times people were on saturday night live did you watch like i i turned it on? I turned it on Saturday night to watch it. Yeah. And the intro to Saturday Night Live is so impossibly long now. There are like 40 cast members. They're playing that sax music. And it's like, Breck Burnett.

And it was insane how long it was. You got to realize at one point it was like Chris Farley, Adam Sandler Will Ferrell names and names and names at one point Eddie Murphy I'm not even saying they're bad it's just so many of them that's probably why there's so many of them

one of them is going to get funny it used to be like I don't know because SNL was SNL at that then i think they all went on to become that name it was yeah but and so yeah retroactively i guess if all of a sudden all these people from snl had movies you would look back on it that way but i think we're at the point where it's old enough where young people like truly like gen z people probably do not get it anymore that they don't even understand yeah oh, I think I'm the last.

I think my age is the last that would get it. Because me and my dad used to stay up to watch it. And that was Will Ferrell. That was fucking Jimmy Fallon. That was like that era. Tina Fey. But like if you told a young kid now like Chris Farley, Adam Sandler, and like David Spade used to all be on SNL together, they'd be like who, who, and who. Not Adam Sandler. Sandler, and, like, David Spade used to all be on SNL together.

They'd be like, who, who, and who? Not Adam Sandler. Sandler, no. But, like, they wouldn't understand, like, every Saturday night you could tune in to see, like, five to six, like, awesome people do funny fucking bits. Now it's, like, maybe once a year you get a good monologue. Yeah. It's crazy. I can't remember when.

I don't think, like, Lorne Lorne Michaels like ruined it or anything. I think it's just like comedy. Well, yeah, I guess it's like, you just don't need to go through SNL anymore. Right. Yeah.

You could just like, I have the internet and I, I don't need this, but I should incentivize it somehow pay them more or do something to like make them come back because God damn, you had a weekly lineup of that. I can't remember when we stopped, but like,

we didn't like, there wasn't a, you know, active, like, we're done with this kind of deal. Because there never is. That's not how the world works. But we definitely just fell off it. And it was probably when I was, like, 13 or 14, maybe. So I don't know what year that would have been. Nah, it might have been later. Maybe we didn't fall off it.

Maybe I just went to school and started going to the park on Saturday night. Yeah, you just started going out and shit. You're not around Saturday night. But, like. But, I mean, that. Because I also think we've seen, like, a renaissance, if you will, a resurgence in stand-up comedy because of like Netflix and specials and shit. I think the casual viewer is taking an interest in like actual stand-up comedy more. And so if you could – if there was a show where they all were on it, like I think it would be the fucking highest ratings ever.

But you'd have to pay these guys. I could do your show or I could could do a Santa special for $100. Tim Robinson is like, that's what SNL should be. Yeah. It's just... And it probably took him a long time to write that, but I think you should leave with Tim Robinson is just six, five, six episodes of perfect SNL.

Yeah. Like, perfect. There's one or two misses in the skits, but every episode's about a half hour. There's probably six, seven skits. They're all fucking home runs. Fucking great. And it's just Tim Robinson.

Right. And he was an SNL cast member, or writer, not cast member. SNL writer. And you know what? Maybe that's the answer, too, is that it's more about the writers than it is the actors or the performers.

But, yeah, I think, sadly, it's officially, like, SNL's a thing, about the writers than it is the the actors or the performers but uh but yeah i think sadly like it's officially like snl is a thing but they'll never understand like what it what it once was or how it meant like if you look at the track as you had to go there first or if you went there i wonder because we kind of always associate like network television and main staple television uh shows with middle america and I wonder if like in middle, wherever the fuck people watch SNL regularly. Yeah. And some of that is probably Northeast.

You know, I'm being stereotypical, but the, is there anyone who knows like that's like cast? Like I couldn't tell you a cast member name. I mean, uh, uh,

Colin, Colin, Colin, Colin, Colin, Colin, Colin, Colin,

Colin, Colin, Colin, Colin, Colin, Colin, Colin, Colin,

Colin, Colin, Colin, Colin, Colin, Colin, Colin, Colin,

Colin, Colin, Colin, Colin, Colin, Colin, Colin, Colin, Colin, Colin, Colin, Colin, Colin, Colin, Colin, Colin, Colin, Colin, Colin, Colin, Colin, Colin, Colin, Colin, Colin, Colin, Michael. Yes.

But they're like they're also the head writers. Yeah. So that's they've been around forever. Right. And I mean, the new up and comers, the regular group, that one girl, the guy who plays Putin. He's pretty funny. But see, that's what I mean. Like, I don't know.

He's been there forever, too. Yeah. He's an older guy. He's funny. Even guys like Daryl Hammond, you know, like he's not he didn't go on to become this like 20 million dollar movie guy but like I remember his impressions and like all that you know and even the skits

themselves like the Sean Connery Alex Trebek like the running jokes Will Ferrell as Robert Goulet like when you know the skits not even the names of the people that's when you know you're fucking cooking and that was just every week every fucking was every fucking saturday crazy man it's i guess it's more we should remember like the golden era as the anomaly and not that like oh it fell off i don't

think so because it went from it was only only started in the 80s so it went from like yeah but do you think that maybe they just caught lightning in a bottle for a period of time that was like... It's not that they like, wow, you ruined it. It's that like, wow, there was this perfect

time where everything came together. But I guess it probably is more like the internet fucked that all up. All your favorites probably would have gone through there anyway. The DiStefanos of the world and that kind of shit would have gone through there instead of just being like, I'll go on the internet. All right, we'll get into our top fives in a little bit, our voicemails and interviews. But first, we're going to do a little Barstool roundup, a little inter-Barstool talk. I know you guys like the behind-the-scenes drama.

We did a couple competitions. We got a fierce showdown with Frank the Tank in Jenga, so let's talk about it. It's brought to you by 3Chi. I'm going to need some goddamn 3Chi after that match with Frank the Tank. I'm going to need to mellow the fuck out, and I'm going to need a shit ton of Delta-8.

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pairs off and cooks for him and then he is the the judge and decides who uh was the best cook round one where did you know As I was writing the blog, it hit me that Feed Willy is like Free Willy. Oh, that just hit me right now. Yeah, okay. So I'm not an idiot. As I was typing Feed Willy. As you said it,

I was like, well, it must be some double entendre and it just came to my brain at the last possible second. And then I had to clarify in a parenthetical. If that wasn't the intention, I am not calling Willie Colon fat.

I'm not calling Willie Colon a whale. The logo should be him standing with a fucking whale. Or maybe Willie jumping. With a Kraken. With a Kraken. There you go. Is that what they did? No.

That's what they should do because it was for Kraken rum. Consult me, please. Thank you. Delicious double bacon cheeseburger recipe with this maple rum glazed bacon where I whipped up some maple sugar, some maple syrup, and some dark crack and rum. I mean, it was phenomenal. And then double cheeseburger. So

Whites Whips up these two fucking massive juicy burgers. And we had a leg up on Casey versus Marty because we won the competition. Whatever. Can I say something about this as well? I prefer cheeseburger clubs. On the bread, you mean?

Yeah. Well, I don't prefer that. I don't prefer that, but the buns that we had were not. They were on the brioche bun, and I grabbed it. It was like a stale bun. Yeah, it was. In this case, some soft white bread might actually be better. So, yeah, I get what you're saying.

But, I mean, we blew it out of the water. The presentation was amazing. I guess I shouldn't have put the fries in there. I honestly thought of the fries as a garnish. I didn't think we were being fucking judged on the fries. I wouldn't have put them in at all. And then also, he said our fries were cold and theirs were not.

They were in the same fucking oven. So I don't know how that was. So whatever, the fries, whatever. Willie takes a bite of our double cheeseburger, which, by the way, if I was eating, I would not have liked how big that was. I hate monster burgers. Agreed. I can't. I want like even like at Five Guys, I like the single patty.

I like thin burgers. Yep. But Willie grabs it, and it was like when Andre the Giant holds a can of beer. It looked like a slider. It looked like it was a White Castle burger. Yeah, it looked like a White Castle slider in Willie's arms arms so i'm like okay whatever it's not too big anymore i'm not worried about that and then he takes a bite and i like my shit like medium that's like i don't really dabble with the uncooked like i grew up kind of like white trash irish catholic

like we overcook our london broil and like that's that's how we roll and so i was like oh no is that gonna be like he owns a restaurant he's like he eats food with large he's rich like he might be one of these guys who eats shit like raw like rare maybe now to be clear when i so what happened was after the um after the match we were hungry i think it was around noon it was lunchtime and we were hungry we had leftover meat we're like let's just fucking cook up a burger yeah yeah and then we it on the stove for about five minutes or so. And they were like, we need to clean up. Clean the space. So we were like, fuck it.

We'll put it on the burger and have a bite. I took a bite. It was raw. It was raw. And I turned it. And Willie said, that's the way I like my shit. So he already said he likes undercooked or not heavily cooked burgers. Takes a bite of our burger.

And he's like, he spits it out burger, and he's like, and he spits it out. Yeah, he's like, this is raw. And I kind of started laughing, being like, what? No, it's not. I'm like, are you doing a bit here? And then he's like, yeah, this is not cooked.

And I look off camera at one point, and I go, oh, all right, I see what they're doing here. Because it was so preposterous that Willie would try to tell people that was undercooked that i thought they wanted casey and marty to win for some reason i thought they wanted an underdog to win i truly genuinely in my brain was like oh this is a we became well yeah because we beat them in the in the first they were so dysfunctional when

they were cooking marty wasn't doing anything we had this beautiful beautiful – it looked nice. It looked – it was like an – So it became – Our burger was like an Instagram girl. I took pictures in portrait mode, and I was like, this looks like a foodie. It looked sexy. Yeah. I will be honest. If Willie's – because we both ate the burger after Willie did it.

It was fine. It was meh. Yeah. It wasn't – it wasn't – If he said that burger tastes better than this burger, it's like, okay, that's a personal preference. Right. It is cooked. But he said it's raw, and I'm like, we're looking at it.

You know, it's like, again, that's not a, if he said like, it's too undercooked for my liking, I would be like, I'd still, I'd still question it. But he said like, it's raw. And I was like, look, no, it's not. It's like someone telling you the sky is yellow. It's like, it's just definitively not. So I start being like, oh, this is like a bit that they must be like, we can't have fights in case you win for whatever reason. So give them the – that's how silly it was.

I was like, there must be something else going on here because this man is telling me it's undercooked when it's like a gray burger. It was like pink. It was like the normal amount of pink. It was the – It was actually like the perfect burger as far as the cook, like how to cook it. And then afterwards, like no cameras on. He's like how to cook it and and then afterwards like no

cameras on he's like yeah the bacon was good like just the burger and i was like oh so you're really not fucking around like this is what is going on robbery bro i guess people like i would there's a difference between i would like to cook more which is crazy despite the fact that i just showed you a red burger minutes before and you said you, that's the way I like my burger cooked. Yeah. But you want it cooked a little more versus it's raw. This is raw. Not cooked. I prefer a puck. Fine.

Some people like that. I think it's crazy. I think it's ludicrous. Right. But some people like a hockey puck. Well, he told me he didn't like that. He said he likes it fucking red. We gave it to you.

A thin line of pink, a lot of gray on the outside. Perfect. Perfect burger. For me. Actually, most people would say that that's like overcooked. Yeah. If anything, I would say it's overcooked. Yeah.

So one of the all-time highway robberies here at Barstool Sports. I mean, not the most prestigious. It's not like this long-running thing. It's just these new series feed Willie. But as far as rulings go, never have I been robbed more than that. No. Because it was just a blatant, like,

it was like, we did a math challenge. I said, two plus two is four. And they told me, no, you know, it was just like,

this is, this is just legitimate fact here. So, um, fuck off, Willie, fuck off, feed Willie,

uh, onto another large gentleman who we competed, uh, against. In our, uh, Jenga, J the Tank, in our Jenga tournament. A must win for us. We had lost our first two both times to Rudy and Billy. And so at this point,

we need to rattle off at least three in a row. We probably need to go four and two. So we need to be undefeated from here on out to move on to the knockout round to even be in a chance to win the $10,000 in Jenga. And we're playing Nick Tarani, Francis Fleming, Frank the Tank. I will never forgive Nick Tarani for this bit. I will never forgive him for this joke because he is an agent of chaos.

How many times have I said I don't want to do content with these guys anymore because they just fuck with me too much, man. It's always Nick and KB just running circles around the old guy. And today we're playing Frank the Tank. Now, let me just set the scene for who I am competing against today. Earlier in the day, it's 2.30. I run out of the studio, the radio studio, to go to the bathroom in between my, like, three-minute break

on SiriusXM, commercial break. And I walk into the bathroom, between my like three minute break on Sirius XM commercial break. And I walk into the bathroom and as I'm walking in, Frank, the tank is sauntering the opposite direction. He's going to the bathroom. That's what he does, right? He just floats. It really does look like he's an animal floating through the sea. And as we walk in, this is on me.

I decided to make small talk because of me. I'm uncomfortable around him and I don't know how to interact with him because he's from a different planet. So I say, Frank, we got a big Jenga match coming up yes we do and then then we're both walking in together now we're inside and as we're splitting off to our respective i'm going to the urinal he goes into the stall i say hey do you really think that steve cohen's twitter account that's the big hubbub in the mets world right now is whether or not our new owner is actually on twitter or if someone's running the account for him I hear Frank start to answer me and I hear his buckle undo

and then I hear his belt slap onto the ground I'm like oh boy Frank's pooping and then as I'm peeing he's can he starts talking and he's like yeah you know I just don't know if that's his account and he lets out this tugboat fart i mean i felt the tiles on the wall shaking i think it i think it registered on the richter scale it was like that little wasn't there an earthquake in providence over the weekend or something like that no it was in uh there's in bristol county which is where far i mean it was like a four point something this was a five point something on the richter scale. Frank, Frank, there were birds flying out of trees, you know, like lawn furniture falling over. Yes. Yes.

There were tipped over chairs everywhere. And I'm like, oh, my God, that's so funny. Frank just let the biggest fart ever. And I'm still peeing. And then I hear him like, yeah, I just can't imagine it. And it's like, I just can't imagine he's... And it's like, kerplunk. I just can't imagine he's using that Twitter account. You know? At least somebody's going to be paying attention, though.

Are you fucking kidding me? Swear to God, Frank the Tank just... You can't... Just pooping while he's in the conversation with me. What the fuck is wrong with people? Just pooping while he talks to me. You can't do that. It's just...

It's un-unspoken. I think it's in the Constitution. We're anti-Constitution. Except for some parts of it are pretty good. And the part that says when you're in the bathroom with someone, just focus on your fucking self. That's why. Now, it is my fault for starting a small talk. But I thought we could rely on good old logic dictating, well, while I'm trying to push poop out, I won't talk. It's

simple. When you go into the bathroom, if you're already, here are the rules of the bathroom. They're very, very easy. Yes, I understand you have a slight blame here. I don't blame you that much, because someone should just fucking know. Now, you're making conversation going into a bathroom, right, that's normal. Yeah. Once you're in there,

then it's fucking, everything done. All done. But you, if you're in the bathroom, in a stall, when someone comes in to pee, and you're done there. Then it's fucking everything done. All done. But if you're in the bathroom in a stall when someone comes in to pee and you're done, too bad. You're still pooping until that person leaves. Right. You don't come out while someone else is in there. No. You wait it out. That guy can wash his hands for the next 20 minutes, whatever.

You got to wait. You don't make any noise. You don't poop while they're in there. Right. Nope. Even if you're not there, you're still pooping. You hold it. You just sit there.

You fucking hold it. You don't let out farts. No. I don't want to hear farts echoing off the toilet bowl. I don't want to. You don't let out farts. I don't want to hear farts echoing out of the toilet bowl. I don't want to hear the kerplunk of the poop. I don't want to hear a kerplunk. You just fucking sit there. Just like everything in the world, once you get into a room, you try your best to become invisible.

Blend in. Now, I can understand that's not the easiest for Frank Fleming. But in that moment, he was behind closed doors, and he had every ability to just hold off on the conversation. And I quickly said, okay, okay, Frank, sounds hold off on the conversation. And I quickly said, Okie dokie, Frank, sounds good, see you later. And I ran out of there back to the studio. So that was my interaction prior to Jenga. And then we are facing Frank.

And, I mean, I've never been in more of a lose-lose than this situation. The best case scenario is me and Feidelberg, like, whoop on Frank the Tank in any sort of competition. That doesn't go over well because, let's be honest, the optics are just not great there. If me and Feitz are dunking on Frank the Tank in anything, from Jenga to sports to anything. Frank's like a protected class. He's like an endangered species. You can't really say.

You've got to handle it delicately. Frank's t-shirt was soaking wet. I was scared to ask why because I thought people might say I was bullying him. I was curious. We've seen it before. Frank, why is your T-shirt soaking wet? There was that patch of. Just like his whole stomach.

I thought it was a shadow at first. I didn't get to ask him why. Hey, listen. You had a wet tummy. You know what I do? Sometimes you get a wet tummy. And then, you know what? We showed a lot of kooth.

We showed a lot of class because Frank was about as dirty of a competitor as you can get. Screaming into our ears while we tried to play Jenga. It wasn't even that it was like getting into my head. It was that he was physically getting into my head with the sound. It was into my brain. Like this man is just screaming in my ears. And I got to hand it to him. You know, Jenga is a game of skill.

It's also a huge game of luck, but you do have to have some, you know, soft touch and some understanding. And I could have seen Frank just like rolling in there, like a bull in a China shop. And he made it to like 30 something blocks with us. He was going block for block. There was one point, my second to last round, I was like, it's a wrap. Like I pulled one out, and I was like, I know for a fact there's like no blocks left that are going to be an easy pull.

And he found one. And I was like, you've got to be fucking kidding me. And then it came back around to me, and I pulled another one that I thought I was fucked. And I swear to God, if Frank pulled that one out, I would have just kicked the tower over. If Frank found a way to push it one more round, I would have just knocked it over and said, I'm not fucking playing anymore. But lo and behold, we did, in fact, advance over pubes too.

And then, you know, when we go back to our desks, I looked at Nick and the whole time, the whole match, I kept saying, I'll never forgive you for this. I'll never fucking forgive you for this little bit. This little bit. It's a bit that Nick's doing. And he just goes, oh, no, no, don forgive you for this. I'll never fucking forgive you for this little bit. It's a bit that Nick's doing. And he just goes, oh, no, no, don't worry, dude.

You look totally cool beating him. You guys look totally cool beating Frank the Tank. Don't worry. You bastard. Son of a bitch. So we are now one and two. We need to rattle off three in a row. We have not played Ronan and Big Cat yet.

Is there anybody else in our division? No, that's it. So we'll see each of them twice, right? Yeah. See them two more times. Yeah, them twice, and we'll see Nick and Frank or Nick and whoever if he cuts them. Right? Or you only get cut after pool play.

No, you can get cut. I don't believe you can cut after pool play. Got it. I think you can cut during pool play. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so a couple more. And I think if we go undefeatable, we'll be four and two. That should be enough to at least hopefully get in and maybe force a tie break. I don't know.

If Rudy and Billy are in the top at all, we're fucked because they own a huge tiebreaker over us. But we're still alive. But most importantly, we kept our dignity. And I guess our dignity. I don't know. It was a definite loser. I don't think we have our dignity and i guess our dignity i don't know it was it was a definite loser i don't think we have our dignity no none none at all uh but hey that's the inner workings here at barstool right now frank i mean you can't talk when you poop man you just can't it's a simple bathroom rule you can't do it all right top five uh moments of

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boop boop, boop boop. It's like this shit's like 40 at cvs you open the thing it goes boop boop boop boop it's like this guy's stealing these really expensive blades three dollars right now when you go to harrys.com slash kfc alex trebek died this weekend aside from my father he's probably the most important male figure in my life i wish i was kidding i was i was never a humongous jeopardy fan i didn't dislike the show obviously but i wasn't a nightly guy such as yourself. But my parents are, so as a kid, I was more of a nightly guy. I kind of got it. And I said this about Trebek in a tweet this weekend.

Because I probably started watching it with them in middle school. It wasn't like a family thing, like everyone gathered around, but it was on a lot. That's kind of what mine was like. It was definitely not like, hey, kids, we're watching Jeopardy. It was like, dad's watching TV. He's got control of the remote. We're all sitting in the living, hey, kids, we're watching Jeopardy. It was like, dad's watching TV. He's got control of the remote. We're all sitting in the living room. We're all going to watch Jeopardy.

Yeah. And it was – I said that – because, again, it was probably middle school. And there are – it is so hard to make a middle school-aged child think that, like, being smart and learning and knowing things are cool. It's cool. Yes, I agree. And Trebek made it cool. And more importantly – Trebek knowing things are cool. It's cool. Yes, I agree. And Trebek made it cool. Trebek made being smart cool. That's one of the most difficult things to do in the world.

And not even being cool, he somehow took the most smug position in the world and made it nice and relatable. This is Jeopardy. We're not one of the fun game shows.

You're not doing cool stuff. You're not winning. It's not the best prizes. It's not the best challenges. Everybody loves the wheel in Wheel of Fortune. He didn't need any pizzazz. It was just straight. He is just built on his persona.

His character. His aura. There's zero flash to Jeopardy. That should be – Just Trebek that sells it. Meat and potatoes, man. And that should be like almost anybody else who's like a French-Canadian who is like, I'm smarter than you. You'd be like, fuck this guy.

But Alex Trebek made it like, yeah, man. You don't have to do – It was great comfort. We talk about The Office and all these shows being comfort TV. There is nothing more comfortable. And that's the nicest thing you can say about a host. I've never done this, but I heard you guys have been doing Jeopardy on Netflix. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. I mean, that's a great idea. I've been I've been I'm I always watch it, you know, seven o'clock and I'm a set 7 p.m. It's the real OG Jeopardy. I don't give a fuck about you. 730 crowd 7 p.m. First, you can do that little 7 p.m. first. You can do that little bitch boy say jack with his little fucking idiot Midwest Wheel of Fortune nonsense for the dessert.

The entree, 7 p.m. Jeopardy. I did it like nightly, so I never thought about binging them. But the idea of just like, you probably get smart doing that. We're like cooking dinner and stuff. We just have it. Yeah, it's comforting. But it's also like, you know, you pick up some tidbits. You pick up some information. I've always said getting when you can answer Final Jeopardy, you know, it's like once every

like decade. I've probably done it maybe 10 times my whole life. I mean, that feels like that sets my week up. I'm like, I just got Final Jeopardy right. I'm good for like a month. Or if you get a daily double or when you get a sports category and they don't know any of them and you rattle all. Yeah, I'm like, I just got Final Jeopardy right. I'm good for like a month. Or if you get a daily double. Or when you get a sports category and they don't know any of them and you rattle all of them off. I'm smart and all, you fucking morons. But, I mean, that game is run and driven by Trebek.

It will never be the same without him. So today we're going to do top five Trebek moments. Okay, my number one is one that was very viral over the weekend. And it was when, I forget the kid's name, I believe he's a Brown student maybe, I forget, but he's a younger kid, and he did not know Final Jeopardy, or he just took a dive, I don't know, and he just put, we love you, Alex, for $19.95.

You're smiling. I like that. Let's take a look at your response. Did you come up with the right one? No? What is we love you, Alex? That's very kind. Did you come up with the right one? No? What is We Love You Out? That's very kind. Thank you. Cost you $19.95. You're left with five bucks.

Okay. Let's go to Kyle. Now, there are two things about this. One, the way Trebek cried was the best old man dad cry ever, where he just smacks himself in the hand with a card. And he's like, let's see how much it costs you. Now, I do have a major problem with why the kid fucking gave $19.95.

He had like two grand left and then he had five bucks left at the end. Why he wagered $19.95, I do not understand. And it bothers me. Like, why didn't you do like $19.80? Because I believe that's when he started doing Jeopardy. Or do the year he was born. There might be significance to it that I just don't know.

But the fact that I didn't know what 1995 meant bothers me. It's like, why did you wager 1995? Because maybe if you only had like 400 bucks left and you kind of just got to wager whatever. But you had enough to wager a relevant amount and you are, you are angry. It has nothing to do with the very heartfelt moment for Trebek, like losing his life and getting thanked. Why did you wager 1995?

It doesn't make any sense to me. Like it's like when you don't get something, you lash out. But I mean, maybe it was, maybe it wasn't the year he was born. He was a kid, right?

Maybe it was like a college tournament or something uh it could it would have to be very yeah no i guess it would it must have been recent because it was you know he was sick but the i guarantee you are the only person who talked about that with this club oh in the whole world it was so frustrating i watched it a million times because again everyone boasted this weekend and i just kept being like why why did he wage in 1995? What is the fucking significance? God, I hate your guts. But the way Tribek cried was fucking beautiful.

Yeah, he was trying to get through it. Trying not to put the, you know, he was like keeping it moving with his job, you know. I'm going to go back to where it started his 1984 debut where alex trebek is he's just a black man have you seen it no it's crazy he he is in the full-blown mike turrico uh like like when when when mike turrico was like i'm not black i was like wait what this is almost the opposite of it he looks like forget about was he invited to to the cookout he might be hosting the black he might be hosting the the cookout look at this black twitter flips over vintage emo uh image of I mean that's a black man he's got like a fro jerry curl looking he's like he's looking dark uh i mean he's jewish no he's not jewish

he's canadian he's he's french canadian i would never look at that man and be like yeah that's like that's a white canadian guy so uh but then you also have the whitest picture of all time i just love this shit of uh like lol at this beautiful african-american man i guess this isn't i guess he's not like like here he just looks like like like he's out of oh my god like he's out of fucking he almost looks like um yeah yeah i can see that um but yeah i mean this look at that man that's a black man what is he can get it for 2000 look he looks exactly like lionel richie yep it's crazy uh so yeah i'll take it all the way back to where it all first started 1984 um okay number two i am

going to go when he went on celebrity jeopardy because we got to have a little homage to celebrity jeopardy here yep yeah and when he went on with trebek and sean connery which were when i was a kid that was we were talking about SNL a little bit earlier, and my dad and I would always watch it, I would laugh like a fucking son of a bitch every single time. That's gonna have to be my pick. I mean, the influence, the

like, without him, there is no SNL Jeopardy. I mean, it was, I was a kid, I was young, and actually, in re-watching those I actually don't think Daryl Hammond's Connery is very good but I thought it was so funny he just did a scotchman accent

I talk like this for work but when Will Ferrell every time when he was like my favorite one is when the Final Jeopardy is just pick a number, any number have you seen that one? and he writes a V and he's like ha! despite your best Like my favorite one is when the final Jeopardy is just pick a number, any number. Have you seen that one?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he writes a V. V. And he's like, despite your best efforts to mess with me, that is in fact a number. What did you wager? Suck it, Trebek. Or like that's what your mother said. I guess this isn't really Trebek-based because it was Jeopardy-based. But when Connery would read the

words differently. The rapist. The rapist. I'll take the rapist for $400. I'll take... Swords. I'll take whore ads. And it's like, it's called Who Reads. It was...

I love it. Let it snout. It says, let it snow. Let it snow. It's a French phrase, Trebek. Let's take you. You're going to a good day, madam. Let it snow.

See, I love too, though, that it ties back to Trebek. So I guess my official pick could be the moment where during the little interviews, somebody brought up Sean Connery and he was like, or I think he brought up SNL, and he was like, oh, yeah, I don't watch that. I don't watch that, because anybody who's frequented Saturday Night Live knows exactly why. He was very aware of it and played into the joke that he knows he gets made fun of.

Oh, see, Daryl Hammond actually had a tweet being like, he told me he loves it. Yeah, he did. No, I mean, in a very playful way. He was like, you know, it was a total joke, but he was like acknowledging on the air that like they did it. So, so yeah, I mean, without that, that, that to me is one of the most memorable skits, you know, ever.

And it's all basically it's, it's Connery of course too. And if we can't forget about a norm doing turd Ferguson, doing a, doing Burt Reynolds. It's funny. Cause it's a bigger hat bigger than usual hat size. So yeah. Jeopardy frozen cat. It's funny because it's a bigger hat. It's bigger than an unusual hat. So yeah, Jeopardy. Frozen cat. It's funny because it's a cat that's frozen.

I'm going to go with something of his that I feel like is almost a catchphrase in a way even though it's nothing memorable. The way that Alex would go, oh no. Like when you got your daily double wrong or when

when it was when it was a bad answer and he was trying to like be polite about it but it was like boy that really sucked and he was just like no and it was kind of smug and kind of condescending because he's kind of like yo there's a level here you got to keep up on my set here merv griffin set that was really fucking dumb, but also I'm not going to like shit on you. So, uh, yeah,

I'll, I'll like that. Who knew that that's the perfect tinge of smugness in them. Um, okay. My number three is his pronunciation of words, but in particular, the way he pronounced genre,

he would, he, every time he says genre, genre, it fucking. Did you see the supercut? Of genre? Yes. It's amazing. It is so goddamn amazing.

What genre of music is this? Oh, it's so good, man. It is. It's like that again is something when he was a little French Canadian accent came out. Anybody else who pronounces genre? I'd be like, fuck you you dude but alex does it and it's just like yeah man genre he changed that pronunciation in my mind to me that's like yeah in fact i'll probably never say it another way again that was almost like the the black twitter

coming out genre uh all right my pick uh i have to imagine that the Jeopardy writers did this one on purpose. But when they had an entire category for rap lyrics where that just required Alex Trebek to rap every single clue. I mean, I think he did T.I. He did Lil Wayne. When they made him do designer and he was just like, Panda, Panda, Panda, Panda, Panda, Panda. I mean, you know, he had to like look off at the judges, whoever, like, fuck you. What what is this shit about? But yeah, I think it was like Weezy, T.I., a couple other like hardcore rappers.

And I mean, those that's he's a he's a dude, too. I bet you all rappers like respect him. He has clout in the rap game. So yeah, Trebek spitting bars is something I never thought we'd see. Thank you to the Jeopardy producers who made that one happen. Okay, number four. When he called that girl a loser. And I don't remember exactly.

Here was the beauty of it. And it's like the perfect beauty of Trebek. Is because like right away, I forget the first thing she said but she said something where your gut went loser but he let her dig her own grave and continued to list the reasons why she's a loser and then just give her enough rope waited until we had all the information it was indisputable where you could call a woman a loser on national television and it wasn't rude. And he's like, so in other words,

he was almost like, let me give the too long don't read for this terrible story. So in other words, losers. Beautiful. It was, because if you interrupt, oh, that's kind of a loser. People are like, well, he's kind of being a dick.

But it was perfectly true back to let her go on and on and on and make it irrefutable. There is no doubt in anyone's mind Trebek is now just speaking what we all knew from Jump Street. Yeah, he's a man of the people despite being like the elitist. He's like, yeah, I know what y'all are thinking at home. Losers. All right, my number five moment. It is for the people like us. I mentioned it earlier, when they can't get sports questions right.

And there was one category relatively recently where the entire panel got every single question wrong. I think it was an NFL category. And he just kind of stopped. It was like, oh, so you guys are big football fans, huh? And just, I mean, again, thinking exactly what everyone, saying exactly what everyone's thinking. Just shut down. These three people, probably the smartest, you know, top 001%. He's just like, you fucking clowns.

Because I get the feeling that Alex would be a pretty well-rounded contestant. You know? He knows the sports. He knows he could do the rap. He knows. He's not just an egghead nerd like they are so that little dig like oh so you guys are big football fans huh last up all right my number five is when trebek chased down a burglar from his hotel room um because i as someone who's lived

a situation like this wouldn't do it you pussyed out despite the fact that he's probably i think it was in 2011 so he's like a 70 year old man yeah at that time he got up and decided to fight for his life for like i mean she's they said i read here that it was 650 bucks in a bracelet it's like you're trebek dude you probably like 50 million dollars a year there's no chance i fight anyone not even a strange woman in my room for 600 who later claimed to be a prostitute by the way she said i wasn't robbing anybody i was there fucking he said why was she in his room he was there with his wife she says he wasn't that like that she was never in the room so i think she was lying i rushed down the hall after this woman i didn't see her when i got back to the elevator bank but a few seconds later she came out of the little ante room where the ice machine was i said

what were you doing in our room she said said, I wasn't in your room. I said, yes, you were. I saw you. She said, no, I wasn't. I said, well, let's let the security decide what happened. I went to the phones in the hallway next to her elevator. She said, oh, and took off. I'm in a T-shirt and underwear.

I'm running down the hallway. All of a sudden, I heard a click and I collapsed. Immediately, I had severed my Achilles. I struggled to my feet and got back to the phone because I had contacted security just before she took off. I got back to security and described her, and then they found her. I mean, pop in your Achilles. That's why. Was it worth $650?

Yeah, no, not at all. Just roll over and dead. But it's worth having that moment. I mean, he transcended. He wasn't just on Murr Griffin's set. He was a fucking legend on and off that set. He's like a goddamn crime fighter. Shit. All right, right my last one here I guess more I was gonna say like the way he like ran the

tournament of champions because anytime you think about like Ken Jennings and Brad Rutter and and uh and Roger Craig and uh James Holzhauer all those guys like he was the one who like made that all dramatic and hosted it I mean those were more about those guys though i guess as far as like his actual performance the fact that he worked until he was fucking dead i mean he was recording like last week he was doing episodes i don't know how he i don't know how he died like i don't know how he i feel i figured we were gonna eventually be like you know i i worked as long as i could but it's time for me to like go on hosp, bed rest, whatever. And I guess I just had a bad night over the weekend or something and succumbed to it all because he was working

as of last week. They said his last episode I believe I heard, his last episode is going to air on Christmas Eve. I will be a puddle. I will be an absolute god damn puddle. December 24th, I think. Don't hold me to that, but I believe I saw that.

So working up until... I honestly think that's what's going to make his legacy so different, too. Like, so much higher. Like, Bob Barker probably has, like, the other claim to be, like, the best and most memorable game shows. But he retired, and he's been gone for so long. But he's... I mean, I feel like if he had died on the job, you know, you'd get that much higher. So Alex was like, fuck it. I got a job to do with doing, like, his... I mean, I feel like if he had died on the job, you know, you get that much higher. So Alex was like,

fuck it. I got a job to do with doing like his, I mean, really, when you'd be like Alex, you've done like 50,000 episodes, like just go spend time with your family, relax,

be well doing it. And he was like, Nope, I got, I got, I got a gig, man. So Trebek working up until the very last minute,

he's an absolute legend of life. A guy that I watched every single day, pretty much almost literally, you know, there's some days I would miss jeopardy, but for the most part, every single day of my life, even now,

he's watching every day. Like I'll, I'll, I'll at least catch like, I mean, it depends, you know, seven o'clock bedtime ship.

And if I can, that's always baseball season is a little like touch and go. Cause it's a seven o'clock start. But for the most part, since I was like old enough to watch TV, it was either my dad watching it or then me. I was texting with my two buddies, like the last two guys I live with before moving in with Caitlin. And they were like, he was our fourth roommate on 89th Street. Like we watched and talked about like nothing but Trebek. So, I mean, a weird like, you know, your sports figures that you watch a lot, but they eventually retire.

Your favorite actors, like, eventually they stop. Like, Trebek, he started in 84. I was born in 85. Did it literally my entire life. So, RIP to a legend. Let's get into our voicemails now. They are brought to you by... Voicemails are brought to you by Crossrope.

Johnny Crossrope. The kid is jumping rope and fucking throwing hands and flexing on the haters because cross rope has been the only thing that's- Seven days in a row right now. Seven days. In the middle of November Knockout Challenge. On the app, they have basically challenges. Yeah.

In the midst of the November Knockout Challenge, I'll tell you what, today's workout was pretty difficult. Was it? I usually do it in the afternoon or the evening when I get home from work. And today, we had to get here early, and I just did it. I woke early to do it and i was just like right away i was like oh this is not the work i needed the morning is so envious though like i'm so envious people get up and do it because when you're done with the morning workout and then it's like man like whatever happens today i have like you know when people say make your bed because you've accomplished something

i'm like fuck you you know i've been making my bed if you pat yourself on the back because you're making your bed fuck you if you get up and do a workout though and it's like 7 a.m or whenever you get up then you have to be how early it is but if you the first thing you do is like well from here on out i've burned all these cows and you could just put it all back on maybe that means you eat a fat lunch with some big dessert or whatever then you break even either way working out in the morning is like – I'm so jealous of the people. Morning people, man, their whole life is better. Yeah, I agree. Well, I don't know about that.

Think about it. Yes, it is. I guess probably. You can get up and work out or you just get up and you're – people like to read the paper. You go for a walk. I don't know, whatever. It's like that's peaceful in the morning. I really – I mean it all depends.

Like normal work people got to get up and go. I guess if you have the luxury to get up and either work out. Yeah, we definitely do. I just don't. I just don't do it. You said making the bed, though. I've run into quite a predicament, and it's starting to get to me. Because I don't know.

You got to make the bed when you're living with someone. Yeah, I disagree, but okay. It's also why I'm divorced. She always gets up first. She's like a morning person right so then i'm the one last one in bed who has to make the bed the last person out i might start getting out of bed or just to not make it just to not make it wow you're gonna say you think yo babe what you said you're along for like 7 a.m 659 here it comes been something i've considered wow it's i mean that's good of you and that's that's a good uh it's a good

thing to like keep everybody happy when you first move in i never really thought of like you have to make the bed because you're living with somebody else i i for some reason i never made it when i lived alone i just think that like yeah that's good i mean i remember like you know my ex-wife hated that i didn't make the bed and maybe i should have made the bed i'm a notorious not a bed maker maybe it would have and she was and it was always like well fuck i guess i have to make it again uh but that was that was i was the king of like but you make it like you you have such a special way that you do it oh i don't do it very well i do it when chicks make beds it's like right it's like military shit you know it's like full

wrapping a present yeah yeah i can do that no i can make the bet i just like choose not to you know just don't think it's worth it but literally what do i know uh but the crossroad man seven days in i mean when you were in quarantine and you hit like a couple months and you were in the best shape i've seen you in a while so uh they got the app like you said where you can follow along where uh they have different workouts different it's so easy i i honestly of all our sponsors this is maybe the one i recommend the most it's 17 to 22 minutes per day do it especially right now if your gym's not open or you're not comfortable going anywhere 17 minutes and you and you work out your cardio you work out it's muscular it's so it's cardio so much more muscular than you thought it was until you do it you're like my

biceps are sore why i? I just jumped rope yesterday. Well, because they have the interchangeable ropes with the different weights. So you can do it for speed. You can do it for weight. It's all highly durable. And it's fun. It's not like just standing. My dad's a big jump roper.

So I've always jumped rope in my life. I'm actually quite good at it. But he just jumps rope for like 20 minutes to a half hour. Whereas this is like 45 seconds of this. Okay, now do push-ups for 20 seconds. And you get breaks in there too. It's fucking – It says it works your core, your back, your shoulders, your arms, your glutes, and more.

No fluff. Just a fun, effective workout. You can jump in as a beginner. You can swap the weights in and out as you get stronger. Work out every single part of your body, including getting a cardio workout as well. And you can do the Get Lean fitness. You can do the Get Lean-like program. Work out every single part of your body, including getting a cardio workout as well. And you can do the Get Lean fitness. You can do the Get Lean-like program.

You can do the Get Strong program, depending on what your goals are. Or you can get both. Do the monthly challenges. You can get the Get Fit bundle, which is everything, the lean and strong. Oh, yes, yes, yes. Okay, we're talking about some different things. Yeah, you're right. So 60-day risk-free money-back guarantee right now. When you go to CrossRope.com slash KFC, you can get $40 off the Get Fit bundle. So that's where you get the lean and the strong all together.

It's CrossRope.com slash KFC for $40 off the Get Fit bundle. Yo, what's up, KFC? It's the Dislustrid KFC here. Got a quick question for you. I know you don't use dating apps, but if you did, what would be your go-to gift? Like, for instance, I've been using the Frank Reynolds, can I offer you an egg in this trying time? It's not working, but I know once it works, it's going to be a banner, you know? What does this exactly mean?

Like you just make a profile and it has your one gift choice? I think he means like you could just send a gift to start off the conversation and get it going. It's not like there's one of them that has the profile. That would be a good – that's a good – they should do that. If you can make a profile and it's like you get to pick one gift to represent you. You probably could do that on some of them, I think. Yeah. I mean we kind of have done this with our top fives in the past i mean given the circumstances like i think

if you're on like if you're out if you're out there just looking for like some strange if you're just out here trying to fuck if you did the the jerk off guy the cowbell jerk off guy or the or the saluting jerk offoff guy with the flag. I think mine's, I think it's either Brady. Of course. Let's fucking go! I think he just says, let's go. Let's go!

And it's just like, yeah, we're going to fuck. Yeah, we're going to fuck. Or Michael Scott. No question about it, I am ready to get hurt again. That's what I mean. You can either go with just a gif that is funny or represents you or whatever, or that's dating relevant. Because, yeah, that would be perfect. I mean, that one is tough to beat.

You could go fucking, what's his name, Miles, the ringmaster. The ringmaster. The fucking ref, boxing ref. In like Celebrity Deathmatch. Let's get it on? Yeah. That guy? Yeah.

Let's get it on! That's a pretty good one. I like that one. What is that guy's name? Something Miles, right? I think it's Miles, right? Yeah. Let's get it on.

Throwback. Yeah, I like that one a lot. I mean, you know, if you're a chick out here right now, you can throw out the WAP fucking gifs or whatever. I would just have Vin Diesel just like the, this is Brazil. But I wouldn't say this is Brazil part, just him raising his arms like, what up? This is me.

Guess who's fucking here. I'm fucking you tonight. I like that Michael Scott one. That might be the one, though. Michael Scott. Because it kind of inherently implies that, like, you know, if you're on the dating apps and you're consistently using them, that you're not finding love and all that shit. Who's the jet ski dude?

Well, you guys are crazy. I'm still going to fucking send it. Just send it. Nudes with a send it. That's a good one. Tweet at us at KFC Radio with what Gif you would use to put on your dating profile that represents you or your online dating game or you know what

you could have said like thank god someone finally swiped right swipe right is yes swipe right like this has been me on the dating app and then Kevin with the chili or it's just like you do something like that but I think that Michael's self deprecating humor always plays so yeah kt5 to producer bc nick jackie whoever's in the booth my girlfriend

just asked me an unbelievable question and it has my mind in a pretzel she asked who do i think the most famous bald man is and i'm stumped i'm my brain has so many bald men and i gotta know what the correct answer is and i'm sure it Spike's big fucking brain will figure it out. It's easy peasy. The most famous man in the world. Say it one more time. Most famous bald man. Um. Most famous bald man. I can't believe it's taking you this long.

Well, now, I mean, the most famous, the first thing that came to mind was Mr. Clean. Who were you thinking of? The'm not thinking of The Rock. The Rock's bald? Oh, The Rock is certainly bald. I don't think it was like a bald guy, though. He's a man without hair on his head.

Yeah, but I mean, he used to have hair. He had a little bit of hair. The Rock never had a full head. Oh, no, The Rock used to have like a flat top. It was a flat top with a six head. Well, yeah, he always had a bad hairline, but he had hair. He had hair. And I mean, I feel like up until relatively recently, he still had like a short buzz cut, you know?

I don't think so. I think the Rocks, I mean, the Rocks been ball since Fast Five, at least. Do we think internationally he's bigger than Pitbull? Pitbull's a great one. Yes, I think he's bigger than pitbull pitbull's yes i think he's bigger than pitbull internationally but see here's the thing like that i almost think like i think of him a lot like this like wait no way yeah you're a loco hombre and like that like his old school one you know the old school like that that's what i mean like pitbull i've never seen with hair but i think he a bald man. The Rock is a guy who now has no hair or has gone bald. Pitbull is a bald man. I would accept this argument, that they're both too famous to the point where you don't see bald.

You just see The Rock. You just see Pitbull. I don't see color. I don't see bald in extremely wealthy men. I don't see anything with him. I just see him. I feel like to be a bald guy, you got to be poor. To be a bald guy, you have to be poor. Yeah, for someone to think of you as bald, you got to be poor.

Because if you're rich, it's just like that's the rock. I'm not like that's a bald man. If you have a persona about you. I've never thought of Michael Jordan as bald. Right. He's bald? I've never thought about it. So I think what's going on here, like, yeah, you just picked the most famous man who happens to be bald.

Right. Same thing with Michael Jordan. I mean, Michael Jordan's probably the answer. He's like the most famous person to ever live. And he happens to be bald. But he's not a bald man. Because he's rich. Rich people aren't bald. I think be bald. But he's not a bald man. Because he's rich. Rich people aren't bald.

I think beyond bald is he's famous. I think the fame matters more than the rich. Yeah, that's why you've got to be poor. Because if you're a stockbroker, if you're a hedge fund guy, and you're worth a bajillion, but you're bald, I would say you're bald. Like Nate's bald. Yeah, Nate's so bald.

You don't have to be poor. I mean, you can't be mega famous and be bald. You're just not. You're just not. You're just famous. Right. This is another one of those Caribbean things. This makes sense. It's crazy, but it makes sense. There's no such thing as a rich famous person who's bald. It just doesn't exist. He was bald, man.

I don't even think... I never even thought of Mr. Clean as bald. That's just a guy who likes to clean. No, Mr. Clean is bald. Steve Harvey. Huh? Steve Harvey. Steve Harvey's bald?

I had no idea. I know he's got a mustache. I didn't know Steve Harvey's bald. See, I think there's such a difference between going bald and being a bald guy. I think you have to be bald since your fame to be a bald guy. Because everybody eventually will be bald. I don't think SVP is bald.

No, that's a good one. That's a good one. He's a good one, but the only time I think of SVP as bald is when people point out how SVP is bald. Because he's made a brand of his to come home. I think since SVP has been famous, he once had hair too.

It's not like he's forever bald, but once he was SVP, he was bald. He worked for SportsCenter with hair, but he became SVP. I don't think anyone... He was Scott Van Pelt when he had hair. He was SVP when he got bald. Right. Van Pelt, SVP,

bald is part of who he is. Bezos. Never he is Bezos never thought of Bezos as bald I never in a million years would have yes he's a bald man but I never would have listed him on my bald people cause he's fucking rich this is proving more and more accurate the more names you show

like I'm not arguing that these people aren't bald I'm just saying never in a billion years would I have said that person that name never would have crossed my mind. Bezos I think I might have. Like Howie Mandel is super bald right now but I wouldn't think of him. Oh, you know

who's a good one? From Star Trek. Patrick Stewart. Jean-Luc Picard has been bald forever. Bruce Willis is a good one. He's got a pretty big bald. Never was, never. You're just listing people I wouldn't think of because they're just too

famous to think it was bald people. Billy Corgan is very famously bald. Smashing pumpkins. Yeah. Come on. Yeah. Well, I mean,

I know he is, but like, I mean, they're smashing pumpkins, but they were a good band. When's the last time they missed? Actually, I think they,

no, no, no, but as far as bald men, like you're, you're thinking more about the famous side of it. I'm thinking more about the bald side of it. The guys who being bald are who they are. Or like who their only look is. I think you need to be permanently bald in your entire time of fame to be a bald guy.

Because literally everyone eventually loses their hair and goes bald. So you have to be bald from the beginning of your... And I think you have to be white because I think too many black guys have shaped heads and it doesn't resonate. That's pretty true. It's pretty true. They muddy the waters with it.

Just too many. And, I mean, okay, now what are we qualifying as bald? Because I would say like George Costanza, like the ring around the hair bald you're george you're bald costanza's a good one yeah that is like who it's part of his description it's part of like who he is but that's also you know he's got like the ring of hair you know like this this has mike tyson like nobody would ever be like describe mike tyson

bald man yeah no come on bez Bezos is pretty good bald. There's a lot of black guys here who I'm just not going to count. Just leaving them out, huh? Yeah, because they're all. Not people. It's like Shaq's bald. No, he's not. Shaq is bald.

Samuel L. Jackson, bald. Black guys have bald heads. This guy is a good bald one. What's his name? Sir Ben Kingsley. Oh, yeah. He's always is bald. Samuel L. Jackson bald. Black guys have bald heads. This guy is a good bald one. What's his name? Sir Ben Kingsley. Oh, yeah. He's always been bald. Sir Ben Kingsley.

No, never mind. I was going to say I believe he's Indian, but I think it's actually the opposite where he got flack for playing brown face. I thought he had some touch of it. I think he did have a touch of it. Yeah, I think this guy, he's not famous enough. The guy who played in Letterman's band. He's like a bald guy.

I mean, I swear to God, I think my answer is actually Mr. Clean. I'm going to stick with The Rock, but I think the larger message here is we don't think you have to be poor to be bald. I think my bigger message is that to be bald, you have to be bald your entire time as a famous person. You can't go bald. You have to be bald from Jump Street like Pitbull or like SVP. You have to have always been bald. Okay. I'll accept that.

I think it's wrong. I think I'm a writer. I think I's wrong i think i'm a writer but the uh i think i'm more right i'm right but the it's just it's just like you're listening to people yeah i just i see them all the time but i just never think oh i'm looking at a bald person right now last voicemail brought to you by hello fresh get fresh pre-measured ingredients these last two fucking ad reads have been just my shit i was was going to say, well. Two things I do on the daily. You go get yourself some ground beef, some bacon, some maple sugar and brown sugar and some maple syrup with some crack and rum.

We'll hit you up with the recipe to make yourself some bomb ass double bacon cheese. Or you could take a better one and just get a little fresh because they gave you bomb recipes. Their recipes are so good. I brought one to have double bacon cheese burger. Or you could take a better one and just get a HelloFresh because they gave you bomb recipes. Their recipes are so good. I brought one to lunch today. John packed his lunch. I packed my lunch today. I made last night. I made cheesy chicken and mashed potatoes and carrots in a mushroom sauce.

I didn't leave mushrooms on the chicken, but I just kind of spoon the sauce onto the chicken as it cooked. And it was fucking delicious. And I knew I'm making steaks from hello fresh so you cooked that and saved it for the morning well i cooked because they're coming meals are two right and um i my girlfriend wasn't hungry last night and so i just had an extra meal i knew i'm having steaks tonight for the path jets game so i was like well it wasn't gonna go bad i could have left it for tomorrow night i suppose right but i was like fuck it i'm just gonna take you to lunch warm it up dude the responsible and uh you know adult thing to do of you not only not spending money on lunch in during the day but cooking it yourself cooking the night before i fucking love bringing it in anyway my family

listens to this like get me like well don't give me cooking lessons for my birthday or for christmas because i'm not gonna go to those but just and honestly you don't need it with hello fresh you don't have to have any skills you don't have to have any pre uh you know preconceived notions about how to how to uh cook the nicest thing i say about hello fresh is it made me lose respect for chefs yeah i just don't have any respect for chefs like if you just give me the list i can do it yeah i can fucking do this just give me the ingredients as long as you like the instructions i'll just do it all you need is like the basics at home as far as like pots and pans and shit like that every everything else you need pots pans butter salt and pepper that's everything

everything else comes with it and it all comes in pre-measured packaging so like it's not you know you just dump that whole thing in and you're good to go you can't over season it or under season it obviously once you get better at it and you start to cook a little more, you'll know what you like and season things to your taste. But in the beginning, no stressful planning, no stressful cooking. Just follow the rules, follow their recipes, pop in their ingredients, and you have yourself a delicious meal, which means you'll save money because you won't be doing takeout. You won't be doing delivery fees you won't be just relying upon like let me get pizza again or let me get like some fatto like mozzarella sticks or whatever these are you get to pick from 20 chef crafted delicious meals uh every week to help you break out of that recipe right you try new things you're trying food that you probably never thought you would before and it's

just 20 minute meals they have uh low vegetarian, and family-friendly recipes and more, along with all sorts of different choices that fit your diet, that fit the season, that fit whatever it is you're looking for. HelloFresh has it. You want to pick my menu for next week right now? Yeah, let's do it. Okay, because I thought I forgot. I got to change it.

I have until Wednesday to change it, but let's just do it right now yeah let's do it okay because i thought i forgot i gotta change it oh i have until wednesday to change it but let's just do it right now um okay i i like uh so so little uh little little look into my weekly choosings here my girlfriend doesn't really care for pork so i don't get a lot of pork and then i don't really like making the burgers that much i'm just not much of a burger guy you make them raw apparently um okay so we going to go with the pork tenderloin. I just said, well, I like this one, so fuck it. All right, and then let's see. Chicken over garlic Parmesan spaghetti, maybe. Let's see what we got here.

Toasted coconut tempura shrimp, maybe. Cherry balsamic bavette steak, yes. Add that. I love the bavette steak. Balsamic. Yep. And then let's see. Pulled porkamic bavette steak. Yes. Add that. I love the bavette steak. Balsamic. Yep. And then let's see.

Pulled pork fiesta bowl. Maybe. Chicken sausage and tomato risotto. Garlic butter shrimp scampi. Shrimp scampi. I fuck with that. Oh, pork sausage and pepper. I can't get two pork.

That's going to say we're throwing her right out the window. That's three now. Oh, chicken tacos. Oh, done in. Girls love that, too. She'll love the chicken. All right. So we're going chicken tacos, pork tenderloin and steak, pork tenderloin and steak. Beautiful.

Done. There you go. We just made John's meal for the week, and you could do the same thing at HelloFresh.com slash KFC 90 because you are going to get $90 off. It's one of the best deals we've ever had, including free shipping, which can be a lot because you've got a big box with a lot of ingredients coming your way. fresh.com slash kfc 9090 and get 90 bucks off your orders now uh when you start picking up meals for the week you gotta uh you gotta get involved with it because it's and there is something about you know like i said when you like work out in the morning well at night when you make yourself your own food it's like you feel good dude fuck yeah this morning i worked out made my bed and i'm gonna cook dinner when get home. Despite the fact that I just had a lot of tacos.

Boy, the heartburn's kicking. From lowering the bar. From lowering the bar. Let's specify. Telefresh.com slash KFC90. Last voicemail. Let's go. Hey, KFC.

Fight whoever's producing. I had a conversation with a guy, and I want to know your guys' thoughts. I am a Rangers fan, so I have had definitely a rough couple of years. And I just met this guy who's from Long Island, whose parents tried to get him to be a Jets and a Mets fan. But he chose to not pick any team for any sport and quote, just wants a good game. No matter what sport, no matter what team he's playing, he just wants a good game. He just picks a team within that game, I guess. I don't know.

So my question is for KFC because apparently fights only picks good teams. Would you rather be a Jets and Mets fan and be miserable your whole life, or would you have rather just not picked anybody from the beginning and just wanted a good game? Thanks guys. I mean, looking back on it now, I think I,

you know, I would say like, man, yeah, I wish I was just like kind of casually watching sports and just rooting for overs and rooting for good games and stuff. But that's just not who I am and not who I would be. Like I,

if I didn't grow up like living and dying on on every pitch of mets baseball or you know like the excitement i felt during like nick's playoff games in the 90s or you know just the like who i am is like getting my ass kicked on sundays as the jets i don't know i mean it's like asking me to like be an entirely different person kind of so i guess in hindsight i like, yeah, I wish I was just like, hey, I don't know. The Rangers were good. I'll root for them.

And hey, the Giants, you know, I guess like when I rooted for the Giants to beat the Patriots, that was the closest I ever got where it was like, I'm just rooting for New York. Not really even because it's New York. I actually anti New England. That was fun. And I like had a good time and it didn't hit like I won a championship, but the team I wanted to lose lost. And I was like, hey, I was just rooting for the city there and it felt good. like I won a championship, but the team I wanted to lose lost. And I was like,

Hey, I was just rooting for the city there and it felt good. It worked out, but I don't know. I mean, I don't think I could go back and undo it and live a different way. I go back and become the other side and be a full blown fan of that. Right.

Again, if my dumb dickhead grandpa just didn't hate the fucking designated hitter, I would probably be a Yankees fan. And then I would have been great. I would have been golden, would have been a fucking like they go goomba so but you know it would have been winning so i could do that but i don't think i could just be like a i just root for everybody i get jealous of you that you even have those moments of like

watching another game that doesn't involve your team at all and caring about who wins we're like yes if this person wins my enemies will be sad. If I'm watching a Yankee so-and-so game, that was a common shirt sold in Faneuil Hall. I root for two teams, the Red Sox and whoever's playing the Yankees. But you used to feel that, no? No. Never did?

I never really paid much attention to them. I hated the Yankees and I hated Yankee fans, but in a game i wouldn't like if any game that the red sox were not involved in i didn't that's why i mean you know everyone like it's like i know i understand no one will ever give me credit as like a fan because it's not my team but when i'm rooting against the yankees i become an abs for a 10-day stretch in a seven-game series, whatever, I become a diehard fan of the Cleveland Indians, the Detroit Tigers, whoever it is.

In that moment, I promise you I'm getting as much satisfaction as the fans of that city are. So every baseball season, I have a moment of bliss for 19 of the last 20 years. So in a way, I always say business is booming as a Yankee hater. We are in the middle of a dynasty. I am in the middle of a 20-year dynasty, a 19-out-of-20-year run. So who's really losing?

Who's really losing at the end of the day? I think it's become more and more common, too. I just like the sport. I think it's become more and more common, too. I just like the sport. I think it wasn't so much a thing ever. Basketball really led the way with that. You think so? Because they just have so many stars. Where it's just like, I want to watch this guy

go off. And I don't think they have as many rivalries because they don't really do like, there's no division rivals. Nobody's like, oh man, the Atlantic this year is going to be tough with the Celteltics and the knicks yeah you know they you see each other a lot but there's no uh there's nothing like that really where it's like i can't this year had a bit celtics sixers philly philly and boston like and within the eastern and western within the conferences you'll break it down exactly no they are but i'm saying that like but i'm saying that's

more of like an eastern like like we know eventually we're going to meet in the same division? No, they are. But I'm saying that's more of like an Eastern. Like, we know eventually we're going to meet in the East to go through. Yeah. Whereas, like, in baseball, it's like, you know, the AL East is like, you're going to face them 19 times, and it's going to be a battle within this bigger picture, you know? Hockey did it where they just changed it to, like, they only play, like, two times. I forget what number it is. But, like, it used to be like we played the Canadiens, like, eight times a year. Yeah. And it was fucking.

It's on. It's like a little series within itself. I think it's two. It might be four times a year now, but I think it's only a home and home, which is crazy for the Bruins-Canadians. Yeah, that's terrible. It makes no fucking sense. Yeah, they got wacky with their –

Gary Bettman, you goddamn fucking dickface. Yeah, him and Manfred just trying to one-up each other as far as how bad can you fuck up your own sport. All right, interview time. We got The Miz. The Miz from, you know, old school,

real world fame. If you're a MTV, if you grew up on MTV, like I did a modern, a modern day wrestling superstar, heavyweight champion, intercontinental, every type,

every, he explains was every belt he's had. So the Miz is brought to you by Thursday boots. This company bootstrap their startup, and they've been shaking up the industry by making ridiculously high-quality boots that they sell at direct-to-consumer, unbeatable prices. Head on over to ThursdayBoots.com to get a pair today with free shipping and free returns. And if you don't love it for any reason, the size, the fit, whatever, Thursday Boots has you covered. And please do me a favor. Do their survey after a checkout.

Just click a couple buttons and let them know that KFC Radio sent you there so that we get credit for it. Just a few buttons. That's it. Easy peasy. Click clack. You get nice boots. We get nice credit.

Good to go. Thursday Boots. The Miz brought to you by Thursday Boots. Let's go. What up? Yo. Oh, you're looking sharp. Always dapper for kids.

You kidding me? Let's go. Motherfucker. This is not what I like to see on a Friday. We got the one-minute man up in here. I love it. I love it. Thank you.

Guy has a one-minute man that every single one is like three minutes long, by the way. By the way, and he's doing this. It's like going speed, speed, speed. He's got 14 different computers. He can go this one, this's doing this. It's like going speed, speed, speed. He's got 14 different, like, computers. He can go this one, this one, this one. Three different cameras going the whole shit day. I love it. Yeah, I found out that I am not – I got too much to say.

I like hearing my own self. I'm like, all right, I'll keep it to a minute. Next thing I know, it's like four and a half minutes long. But it's so entertaining, though, because you're going so quick and the cuts and everything. I mean, you got the whole system. I'm trying, man. It was one of those things like, you know, I've been doing this shit for like 10 years.

And I was like, all right, I can do this. I can just go. So hopefully it's working. I hope I'm happy to hear you like it. It entertains me. Well, I feel like it means a lot coming from you because you got the gift of gab, man. You got it. And you've always had it, whether it's wrestling, whether it's, you know,

reality TV, uh, whatever, whatever endeavor you, you go into next, you got it too, man. Do you have, is that something you knew about yourself from like, you know, day one? No, no. You're a liar. I'm telling you like, yeah. Do I, uh, do I speak well? Sure. Okay, great. But like, even when I was. But even when I was in high school, I'd have book reports and stuff. And I would be the person that people would be like, oh, you'll be great at it, right? Because you talk it up there and I'd kind of freeze.

And I'll never forget, though. But when I was in high school, I was running for student government president. And there was four people running. And I went down and asked my dad. I go, Dad, can you listen to my speech and tell me if it's pretty good? And so I give him this speech. I pour my heart out to my father. My dad goes, that was terrible.

That was horrible. Oh, that's great. I'm probably going to lose this. He goes, let's work on this. So my dad stayed up and worked with me on it. And I went in there and I did the speech and I got like a standing ovation. And then I ended up winning the presidency of our student government. That's a hell of a story, man.

So was that your very first time? I feel like everyone who kind of works in media has that moment when they're younger where you realize like, oh shit, people are entertained by me. Was that your first one? That was the first time where a speech worked, where I was like, where I felt the goosebumps and you felt like, ooh, I got them. Like I got the crowd. Yeah.

And so I guess that was the first time that that ever happened. But the first time I was actually in wwe as like a host uh i was hosting like the diva search and i'll never forget like i was supposed to say this one catch phrase it was like i couldn't remember it was like the sexiest women uh on the planet or something like that and when i was announcing the catchphrase the tagline that i was supposed to get i messed up the the words and i messed up the tagline. And I was like, and in my head, I went, oh my God, you just messed up the tagline. Oh my God, you just messed up. Then all of a sudden my brain froze. Mind you, there are 15,000 people watching

live in an arena, millions watching at home. And all I'm thinking about is what's my next line? I don't have a line. I have a cold sweat going going i don't know what's happening and then i have to remember the phone number and i wrote it on my wrist however i was sweating so much that it ran the phone number off my arm so i was like just call Just call. Google it. And thankfully they put it up on the Tron, but I messed up the entire thing. I remember going back into like the gorilla position as we call it and looking at Vince going, Vince, I promise you this will never happen.

I will work on it nonstop. And I've been working on it ever since to never have that feeling of just freezing. Bombing. And I don't know if you guys have ever froze, like even when you're on the radio or anything. But when you freeze, there's nothing that can help you. The first time I was in, I worked at the radio that I went to college at. And I was just doing like the one minute, like I guess minute man stuff back then too, where you're just doing like a sports update.

And I had, you know, just like a piece of paper. You're supposed to just read the scores and the schedule. And it was like when you're running downhill and you can't keep up with your legs, you know, and I just I got ahead of myself and I couldn't keep to the script. And I was like, I was not it was not even English sweating theating, the whole nine, out of breath. I almost, like, passed out. I was talking. And mercifully, this update ends, and I, like, walk back out to, like,

the bullpen area of the radio station, and everyone's looking at me like, well, like, and one guy was just like, well, we'll have to work on that. It was, like, totally almost unspoken. Like, yeah, that fucking stunk. And it's also funny because, like, I still will slur a word here and there because we're live like you don't get two takes three takes we're live i'll slur a word and it aggravates me so much because i want everything to perfection you know like i want to people to be able to feel it like i remember this one promo everyone says it's like my best promo i've ever done i watch it

and i can't stand it because i am bummed because i you know when you get really angry like really heated you can't speak because your brain is going so fast that your mouth can't regurgitate what's going on in your head i had one of those moments on a show called talking smack on on wwe and i went off like i remember feeling like the, the just heat just go. I remember getting goosebumps and just going blank. And I don't even remember what I said or what I did. I got done and everyone was just like, Whoa.

And I mean, I got texts from my people that like normally don't really ever text me being like, that was the greatest promo I've ever seen. I had to go back and watch it because I don't remember what I was saying. And I watched it and I go, Oh my God, this is terrible.

I'm bumbling. I'm, I'm slurring words. Yeah, but it's real, right? The emotion. Yeah.

Nobody really cares about the technical execution. They're just like, Whoa, this dude is fucking raging right now. Or, or he's being funny or whatever the emotion is. That's what the people want to see. They don't care about the pronunciation of a word here or there.

Yeah, but I want both. I want the execution and I want the feeling. And sometimes it just doesn't happen. Right. But that's, you know, that's I think that's what your personal drive is. But as long as the audience is here and the passion, like, you know, the rest of it catches up. I feel like in wrestling for me

like the the mic work is is it you know like you need of course the the high flying stunts you need the mankind's of the world to take the bumps you need all that shit of course but you know the the greats it's all about the mic work right yeah i mean when growing up my favorites were in energy as well yeah like my favorites growing up were like ultimate warrior and ultimate warriors promos would just be screaming and yelling nonsense and literally you just love the the the the energy that he gave you because it made you feel that. And then I'd watch up into my high school years where The Rock would get in there. And anything The Rock would say or do, you would want to know what was going to happen next.

Right. And so that's what I carry over to what I wanted to be able to ensure that I gave the energy and passion and believability to an audience that they will believe anything I say. And when I say I'm going to do something, I'm going to do something. Like right now, I'm Mr. Money in the Bank. Being Mr. Money in the Bank means I have a contract that I can cash in anytime, anywhere on a WWE or Universal Champion. Right now, it's Randy Orton and Roman Reigns. Now Roman Reigns is the champion of SmackDown, which is on Fox. Randy is the champion of raw, which is on USA.

And I can go to either show and cash in. So let's say, let's put something out there. See Randy Orton gets thrown through a table. I can walk out there and say, I want to go up against Randy Orton right now. He can't even get up. Good. That's even better for me. I'm going to hit him one, two,

three and be WWE champion. I have like, I'm like Willy Wonka. I have the golden ticket. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, that's, that's the kind of shit that I love most about wrestling too, is like, I remember when they, when they made the hardcore belt. And it was just like this whole new fucking idea. Like it just radically changed what it meant to like win a belt or when you could have a match or whatever.

To me, that's like where the creativity of wrestling is like unparalleled. Is that something? Like those broad ideas. Is that Vince? Is there like a team of story writers? It's a team of everything, to be honest. A lot of it is like the WWE universe and what they're gravitating towards. Right. You know, no one would have believed, uh, like I think eight months ago that Otis would win the money in the bank

contract in a ladder match because Otis is like a big guy. Like he is just round. He's like 300 pounds of pure, solid muscle. And he's just incredibly entertaining. And it ended up where he didn't even climb the ladder, but the briefcase got taken off the thing and dropped right in his lap. And then cut to eight months later, I tried to get the money in the bank contract off of him. I didn't think that was ever going to come to fruition. I had no idea. And it just, as time progressed, developing and developing, it started becoming a reality where I was like, oh man, I should be Mr. Money in the Bank because I can do what no one else can do with a money in the bank contract. I am a bad guy. I am the ultimate opportunist.

When an opportunity presents itself, I will cheat. I will lie. I will steal. I will do whatever it takes to win because I'm a winner. Right, right. I love it. How fun is it to have that be like your persona and your character? Oh my god, imagine you get to do whatever you

want in a WWE ring. Imagine being the Minuteman in WWE. Do you have any idea how much fun our fans would have with the Minuteman? Yeah. Oh, my God. Let's make it happen, Miz. Come on.

I mean, I'm made of glass, so I can't take any bumps or anything. But let's play out this idea. I could get down a little bit. You could be a manager. There you go. You could come in and you could just chit-chat your way all the way through and just have the guy get beat up, and you're just like, hey, I'm just right here. I'm just being a minute man here.

I love it. I love it, dude. I mean, the name is perfect. Let's go. Are you – is there anything – so, like, you know, you've done – you're in different – you're doing different projects in different fields. Is there anything where you – some guys don't break character at all. Like Undertaker famously was – I think up until very recently like never was out of character.

Is that something you get to decide or they decide or how does that work? Well, it's kind of me. Like to be honest, like I've got Ms. and Mrs. Like, I have a reality show where you can watch literally how I am with my wife, Maurice, who is another WWE superstar. You can watch me with my child, my two little girls. One's two and a half. One's one. Madison Monroe.

And it's kind of a reality show. And the way my wife and I said we were going to do this show is only if we could do it how we wanted to do it and what's real and what's true to us. And so that's kind of how this developed. And luckily, all of our drama ends up being really funny. So all of our hell ends up being everyone else's delight. Are we doing the Kardashian thing here with the Ms? Is that a theme?

Everybody going to be an Ms? Is that what we're doing? I't i don't i didn't realize that was the a kardashian well they they famously did all it does unimory the production company that does keep it up kardashians does do miss and misses so maybe they got it from there i don't know i mean they're widely successful so uh it's a good recipe to have i don't know Would they have 10 seasons? No, 18. Let's ride that way, man. I think they did 18, no, 19. Yeah, I think it was like 18 years, 15 seasons,

something crazy like that. Yeah, that's the dream right now, man. So this, I gotta, we gotta talk about this personality real quick. So your character, it's just you?

Like, you're just this confident and happy? You're witnessing it right now. God damn, that must be. What is that like, dude? What's it like to just be confident? You don't have any of that? No, I'm Miz.

You have to be kind of confident to have your own radio show. He sells himself short. Miz, we do it in a room fucking empty. I noticed you. I was literally looking at that. You two look like you're hugging. It's like a really tiny room in New York or Chicago. No, we're in New York.

That's what it is. You guys are just squished in. You have your crappy lighting tools that you use. I don't think you guys use lighting. I feel like you're using lights. My wife bought strategic lights for every – she has LED lights back here. I don't know if you noticed that like she made it really professional i feel like you guys just said hey give us a tv screen

throw the logo on it give us some headphones let's go call it a day this is why i have no confidence because we have thousands of dollars of lighting in here but you know we don't have i think what we needed is like the touch of a woman. Because when I come in here, it's like, let me just blast this pasty face with this fucking spotlight. We needed someone to be like, let's work your better side. Let's work this angle. Yeah, you're a plant. Yeah, look at that.

You got foliage. You're a plant in there. Show a little color. How is it like working with the lady? I'm always interested in people's careers. Honestly, how's it like working with the lady? I'm always interested in people. Oh man, it's honestly, it's amazing. Like when, when we were working as a WWE superstar, I was the intercontinental champion at the time and she was by my side. I don't think I was ever better in a ring than I was then. I mean, whenever you have a beautiful woman, basically backing up everything you say, if you say you're the best,'re the greatest you're number one and then you got this hot smart like sexy strong woman next to you saying yeah she is he is right he is it's like

yeah here we go let me you gotta believe it right right but okay but then what happens now we get to be with mrs and mrs where we get to film our day-to-day life and honestly it's brought our family closer together like the only reason my dad ever comes to my house isn't to see my daughters his grandchildren no it's to be on ms and mrs that's it i go hey dad want to come for thanksgiving he goes are you filming ms and mrs i said no he goes well then no it's covid right the but i mean you're such a grinder you work so hard to do everything does it ever feel like when you come home you're still working because of the show and you most of the time you are no uh not really like when I'm home I'm I'm literally throw the camera throw

throw the like the phone out and I just play with my daughters and like the the cool thing about so with all the negativity and everything that's going on with COVID and everything, like it allowed me, usually we're on the road 250 days a year and we have live events all over. I'm traveling all over the world. Now I'm only traveling once a week, which is very, very minimal for me. So I got to actually spend time with my daughters and really get to watch them grow and not only that i taught my daughter how to swim and it was like the coolest moment when you to say it's okay jump in the deep end you're two and a half years old you got this

and she jumps in and swims to you and you're like i i did it right i mean i'm a man i'm not gonna cry but you know i did i was gonna say i was like i feel like you're teaching your kids to swim is just throwing them in the deep end it kind of yeah well jumping they jump themselves i'm not throwing them in what's it like so so she's hyping you up in the ring right and then uh what's what's it like though on a night where you guys you know rocky night you guys are fighting or something like that and then you got to go out there and you're doing your your your work and you're the fucking man and she's got to be by your side but then when the when the cameras are off you guys go home and you're like well no like fuck you have to focus on your job. Yeah, that's not easy. Like, we have arguments. But the best part about my wife and myself is that we respect one another. We know that we're not always going to agree on everything. Like, it's just it's just impossible. Right. And if I did agree with everything, then I'm just being you. And I don't want she doesn't want me to just be her. I don't want her to just be me. I want her to be her. That's why I married her. And she wants me to be me. That's why she married

me. So we like, we'll go butt heads. Like we fight all the time, but the best part about our fights is that we learn, uh, new things about each other and whether we agree or disagree, we end up making up and it's usually a lot of fun. Now, that's a very strong relationship you're describing. Not one that usually starts off, as I understand, with you coming out of the closet to her. Was that what happened? You were trying to learn French

to impress her and you just said you're gay? No, I did not. Never did I ever do that. Oh! Well, first of all, you agreed with it. No! Definitely not. I was reading ever do that oh well first of all you agree with it no no definitely not i was reading i was reading a website that was like when you were trying when you guys were getting to know each other you tried to learn french to impress her and okay that's why you have uh real news where you can get it from me or you can go on the internet or that really really

i mean obviously that's a way no teresa sounds like a story like my dad goes on podcasts and he embellishes the truth to make it better a better story so he lies a lot so sometimes it's probably a podcast my dad was on like i don't know yeah this is said that in french you said you were gay you said you botched the the wording and came out to her or something that's what what the internet said. Never, never. No, no. So my wife didn't speak English when I first met her. Okay. And I was the host of a diva search and she was a contestant. She walks in and she was like, hello, my name, Maurice.

I don't speak much English. And I was like, hey, just, you know, move along, whatever, blah, blah, blah. So anyway, two years down the line, she speaks broken English. We were out in WWE. I asked her to go out with us afterwards after Monday Night Raw. And she's like, sure. Okay. I go. No problem. I'm sitting at one table. She goes and sits with the guys at the other table. And I'm like, well, why would she do that? So then after everyone left, it was after hours. We go out. We're in the parking lot. We're chit-chatting. And she was like, I'm getting tired.

I was like, all right, well, I'll make sure you get home safely. We're driving to the same spot anyway. So as she's driving, I go, pull over, pull over, pull over. Like, I call her. And I'm like, pull over. Look, she pulls over. And I take her to, like, this adult, like, this adult toy store. Because I was like, look,

I don't want to get in the friend zone. Like I want to make sure that this girl knows like I'm into her. Like I'm really into her. Like I'm not a friend. I'm not your buddy. I'm not the guy you pat on the back. I'm the guy that you're with. So we walk into this adult toy store

and she is just looking at me like, this is weird. I've never, because it was a very seedy adult store like i was thinking like it was gonna be like a larry flynn on sunset or something like that now this is not so much not in wichita kansas not in wichita kansas so we go into this place and there's like swings and like you know there's a mass with a ball and i'm like are you into that you know i'm just i'm sitting there i'm just asking her like you're into that just trying to figure out what she's getting more weird and more weirded out as the time i'm like look we just got to go so we ended up going into the parking lot and we ended up talking the entire

night up until our flight which was like four in the morning. And so after I got done with that conversation with her, I told myself, like, I need to find a woman like that. That's the type of woman that I want. And this was 2008, maybe. And I feel like we've been together ever since. And by the way, I flew home that day and went to Barnes & Noble and bought a French-speaking book and tried to learn French. It's pretty hard. Yeah. And didn't learn French.

Didn't teach me anything. But I married the girl, so it worked. Well, what did you end up buying? Well, that's the real story. You know what? Better. Better. It's a better one.

That's a bold move, though. Have you ever done, like, pulled a bold move on a first date or when you met a girl? That was a first date. No, I know. Is there anything more bold than that saying, hey, let's go to an adult toy store? Have you ever done one like that that didn't work? This one clearly worked. But have you ever done one that just completely blew up in your face?

I mean, that was the riskiest one I've ever taken. No, nothing that, like that really blew up in my face nothing I can remember off the top of my head how about you? yeah we only got 10 more minutes bud did you end up buying the swing and the mask or what? we did not

and we haven't still to this day I think I freaked her out I mean if she wants to buy a swing I'll buy a swing I'm not saying no I feel like you've had so much success freaked her out. I mean, if she wants to buy a swing, I'll buy a swing. I'm not saying no. I feel like you've had, you know, so much success and it all kind of all began at the real world, right? All began in the reality TV realm. Is that something that you, uh, like, there's been, there's other entertainers, uh,

who have come through that road and I think sometimes try to downplay it or not talk about it or bring it up to you. do you care? Or is it something that you. No, I love it. I loved every moment that real world brought to me. Like I was on MTV is the real world back in 2000 and 2000, 20 years ago. And, uh, you know, I wouldn't be where I am to this day if it wasn't for the real world, the real world taught me like for where I'm from which is Cleveland Ohio you go to a college once you're done with college you go

back to Cleveland you get a job you get a family and that's due for the rest of your life and blah blah blah once I got once I tried out the real world and I made it on the real world it showed me that I could do whatever my mindset is is in there and that's where I said, I'm going to be a WWE superstar. So if it wasn't for the real world, I'd probably be working for my dad at his local sub shot of Mr. Hero. Yeah. Hey, listen, that sounds good. Mr. Hero, I'm down with that. Well, it's cheesesteaks.

So your boy Dave Portnoy can go there and he can do a little cheesesteak review. All right, we should set that up. I'll whip up one for him because I used to work there literally my entire high school time. I was like, he's doing cheesesteaks now? Are you kidding me? Was there any moment when you first started that like was that did anybody like give you shit for coming from reality TV to the wrestling world? Like you got your dues and all that shit. I moved to LA and no one,

like, even if I was a very, like, they wouldn't even let me audition. Like I wouldn't be able to audition because I was, we already know you from real world. We already know you from reality. We don't want that.

Like back then, like you were the, the worst thing ever. Like you were the worst thing to come to Hollywood. Now I feel like everything is embraced because everything's a reality show. You know, everything like you look at, you know,

YouTubes or, or like Instagrams, like, you know, you know what the biggest movie star in the world is doing the rock because he posts every, every, every day.

By the way, during the pandemic, what kept me the most entertained was like your nine dot nine episode documentary that you did on Instagram for Barstool Sports. Like it was fantastic. Like those those things kept me like I couldn't wait for him to come out every week. So I was like, oh, man, this is I mean, it was amazing the way that Barstool was brought up. And now it is a huge entity. Yeah. And we were kind of the same way.

You guys were working hard with it. Yeah. And at times it used to be kind of looked down upon or, you know, you're a blogger. The hardest, when we first started, the hardest thing was like telling family members what we do for a job. Oh, you're a blogger. You try and like explain it. Like, oh, I work in sports media. I work in media.

I work on a website. Like you would never say blog. Yeah. I'm a writer.. I work in media. I work on a website. Like, you would never say blog. Yeah, I'm a writer. But you believed in it. Yeah. You believed in everything that you were doing, and you were able to do what you wanted to do. And I just think that's so admirable.

Yeah. I mean, kind of cut from the same cloth. You're just, you know, running around in your underpants. We've actually talked about that before. We're like, people say, like, Barstool's big now, and it is. And we always felt like we made it, quote, quote unquote when we just made enough to pay rent like it didn't it didn't like that was like all right we made it that was the goal we're happy doing our job and we make enough to live so we're good we made it did you what what's your like i made it when did it snap for you was that road rules or was that man i'm still trying to make it like uh

even in wwe sometimes i feel like i don't get the respect i feel like i want maybe that i i feel like i deserve uh i've won every title there is to win um but yet sometimes i feel like you know you'll you'll read twitter here and there and you'll see all the negative comments you don't deserve to be there but honestly i look at those as compliments because they motivate me. They drive me. And it's some nerd in his basement just typing away. So I use it as fuel. And then also, like, I'm also working on our – my wife and I are working on our production company, Mad Row Productions, where we're developing shows now.

So not only do we have Miz and Mrs. Not only am I a WWE superstar. Not only is my wife a WWE superstar, but we also have shows that we're also working on to develop for the masses and other people as well. So, you know, it's always a never-ending grind. Like, I'm never satisfied. I've always want more. That's the method.

That's how we roll here. One of the things that we spun off of from the show is called Answer the Internet. So it's a series of hypothetical questions we've gotten from our readers and whatnot over the years. We're going to hit you with a couple right now. So The Miz does answer the Internet. What's your go-to game plan if the zombie apocalypse hits? And you can't just say, like, I'll die.

What's your game plan? I don't think The Miz was going to say he does. No, I don't think so either. No, I'm ready to fight. You got guns? You got guns? What's your go-to weapon? What's your game plan? Are you fortifying the house? I've got a shotgun and I've got a

9mm. I never was a gun guy until I lived in Los Angeles in Hollywood. I have a family. I would leave and they always tell you, don't ever tell anyone where you live or where –

not where you live, but, like, that you're leaving. Like, don't put it on Instagram. This is live. But I'm on a live television show. Right. They're going to know. Like, what do you want me to do? And I'll never forget, I put cameras all over my house,

and my house had an attempted break-in. And it happened on numerous weeks. So I took my wife i was like look you're getting a gun we're gonna take you we're gonna learn how to shoot them and figure out the best possible way to do that so we are protected if we ever need to be protected you got the real life game what happened there was four guys wow four four grown men coming into my house like who knows what could have happened right right is that the same situation that led to your, and maybe this is true, maybe it's not,

because I read on the internet, that led to your wife putting the house on the market without talking to you? Yeah. Yeah, we moved out of there. And we actually left Los Angeles. We moved to Texas for a year. And then now we're in a guard-gated community.

And we have gates. We have the whole shebang. Like, really high alert security. Smart. All right. At what moment do you think you officially become a man? First hair. You can do the hair down there.

You're a man. This is an interesting question. If you can create, you are a man. I was very late to that. And my high school team, like our hockey showers after practice, I remember everyone was like, oh shit, Fites has pubes now.

And it was like a big deal. This is a question we ask other people hypothetically. You're kind of actually living it. It usually goes, how much money would it take for you to be the villain on The Bachelor or Bachelorette? Now you already kind of play a villain. that ever something like you know you you wanted to be a face but they told you to be a heel and i'm naturally a bad guy like i'm naturally a person i

just have one of those faces that you want to punch so i disagree with that i think i do that way i i you got a smile that you No, I think you got a nice face. I'm going to stand up for the mission. Thank you. If you were doing something like The Bachelor, though, or Bachelorette, if you were a dating show type of thing, would you be the villain in that? 100%. It'd be so much fun.

Like, think about all the things you could do to the other, like, men that are, like, vying for this woman's, like, you could just prank them all day long. Especially you, dude. I mean, you can put those kids in a locker. You're a three-headed monster, and you have to select the other two heads. The first head is one of your idols. The second is your biggest enemy.

Who are the two heads you're picking? Oh, God. I don't really have a lot of enemies. It doesn't have to be an enemy. It could be someone you hate. Just the person you hate. Right. I don't really have a lot of enemies doesn't mean any could be somebody you hate is the person you hate right I don't hate people come on you just said you wanted to be the villain

so I would have who I would have my wife as the second head because I can just talk to her all day long get smooches that'd be great and then I would put you you know what? I'd put my mother-in-law, my mother-in-law Marjo,

because she is something else. Let me tell you something. Like, when you live with your mother-in-law, it is a whole new world. Everything revolves around your mother-in-law and it is crazy it is chaotic and it is drama filled all day long and you can catch it on the ms and mrs are you each and every thursday like is there ever a time where you're like look come on you understand that this is all mine right like you honestly be like i run ever a time where you're like, look, come on. You understand that this is all mine, right?

Like, you honestly be like, I run the show. I know you're running the show, but I literally run this show. Wait a second. Are you married? This is ours. Yeah. This is ours. Okay.

It's not mine. I'm talking about the mother-in-law. Yeah, no offense. Yeah, I was going to say, if anything is hers. If I decorated any room in this house, do you think I have a man cape? And if I did have a man cape, it would have her decor all over it. I'd have no say in anything in this household. But doesn't that make you want to be like, this is crazy.

Why don't I have any say? Oh, yeah. You say that to my wife. You do not. Have you ever had a girlfriend or wife that are being gaged? I feel like you haven't. I feel like you're a single guy in a house, a studio. He just moved in with a girl, and I always tell him, like, this is how it's going to go.

And he's like, not me. Not me, dude. I'm like, all right, we'll fucking see. No, it's always not me until it's me. Yes. You're the one guy out of the eight billion who's figured it out. Not going to be you. Nope. I'm going to figure it out. And I'll write a book when I'm done. You're the one guy out of the 8 billion who's figured it out. Not going to be you. Nope.

I'm going to figure it out. And I'll write a book when I'm done. You better if you do. I'll teach both of you a lesson. Next year, we're going to do the same thing. And you're going to be on. And you're going to go, yup. Yup.

You get it? I understand now. I love it. All right, dude. We really appreciate the time. You're a busy man. Get back to it. So Mrs. and Mrs. is out every Thursday, you said?

Yep. Every Thursday, 1030, 930 Central on USA Network. My man. Thanks so much. Keep it up. All right. Thanks, boys. Thank you.

Have a good one. Thank you. I've got some issues that nobody can see. And all of these emotions are pouring out of me. I'm bringing to the life. It's only life. This is the soundtrack to my life. The soundtrack to my life.

To my life. To my life. To my life. To my life. To my life. To my life. Yeah. Uh-huh. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah.