KFC Radio - The Solar Eclipse Is Overhyped ft. Walton Goggins

Episode Date: April 9, 2024

Timecodes: 0:00 Start 04:33 Airplane Solar Eclipse Picture: https://joncarmichael.com/108 22:29 Feits is getting worried about age 31:28 Billy Football for Congressman 40:09 Rec soccer game 45:31 Flip Flop between age 57:35 Drunk Monkeys 01:02:28 Drunk Monkeys Video: https://www.google.com/search?sca_esv=eae1723b12d3aedd&rlz=1C5CHFA_enUS971US971&q=drunk+monkeys+caribbean&tbm=vid&source=lnms&prmd=ivnsmbtz&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwje_MijjbOFAxUzv4kEHQlXDx8Q0pQJegQIFBAB&biw=2327&bih=1163&dpr=2.2#fpstate=ive&vld=cid:cbcbc024,vid:pmnzIhbX2bg,st:0 01:29:29 Feits' Edey tweet 01:31:46 Seinfeld Finale 01:36:57 Video Voicemails 01:55:23 Morgan Wallen arrested 02:02:09 Walton Goggins Interview +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Gametime: Download the Gametime app or go to https://gametime.co, enter your email, and redeem code KFC for $20 off your first purchase (terms apply).You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. New episode of KFC Radio is about to start right now, but before we do that, I need a favor from you. We've got a new YouTube channel. It's called the KFC Radio Clips Channel. It's a short-form YouTube with all of the best interviews, segments, and moments from KFC Radio, past and present, just a few minutes long, so you can keep up with the podcast and all of our greatest moments if you don't have time to watch the full episode. So head on over there.

There's a link in the description below. Click that, subscribe, and then come back and catch the full episode. Thank you. It's another edition of KFC Radio on the Barstool Sports Network. It's Solar Eclipse Day. Maybe nobody ever even listens to this. Maybe it's the end of the world. Who knows?

It could be. We got earthquakes. We got eclipses. Before we get into that real quick. Yeah. Do you feel the pressure to keep dressing better because you're doing it again? Totally. Bro. real quick yeah do you feel the pressure to keep dressing better because you're doing it totally bro i said it this morning i said it this morning as soon as you walked in i was like damn kevin looks good again here's how it starts i i was gonna i was gonna talk about it it's like it's

like when uh when dave started following jackie and she got all nervous yeah or when you have like a famous follower i absolutely do i found out what happened what happened was I just bought uh pants the only thing that's different is the pants top up is literally the same stuff I've been wearing it's just I used to just wear black pants every single day black pants black pants and now I just have a few pairs of corduroys a few pairs of other different types of black pants, but 100%. 100%. And then you get in your head where you're like, well, I can't disappoint people. It's like, no one fucking cares, John. But you're like...

Apparently they do. But apparently they do. Apparently they fucking do. I absolutely... I got that, the sweatshirt, which it was just a brown hoodie. But it was a Christmas gift. And I sent it to the person that sent it to me. And they were like, awesome. Cool, man. Great. Thanks for sharing. sweatshirt which is it was just a brown hoodie but it was it was a uh a christmas gift and i sent to the person that sent it to me and they were like awesome cool man like great thanks for

sharing it was i was on a group chat with the couple they were like great like we're happy you love it it's like it's a nice cool yeah yeah i mean great you picked the right brown hoodie yeah apparently i was picking the wrong brown hoodies before that. But I absolutely am feeling the pressure now. But now that that's out there, tomorrow I might just come in. I'll wear a full-blown robe. You're not going to control me. Fuck you guys. But yeah, no, absolutely, 100%.

It's very funny you said that. Yeah, no, it's Solar Eclipse Day. I still don't quite know what's really going to happen. Do you? Like, I saw a picture of somebody from South, I think it was a Southwest flight. Like, this is the picture I took during the. Yeah. And it looked like they were in goddamn outer space.

And I was like, if it's going to look like that that's actually pretty fucking cool i i i have really no idea but doesn't it only occur along that line along that line like people are flying to there's a line yeah yeah yeah right right but there's there's they call it totality we're like so everybody sees like some variation of it we're lucky that we are in like we're like 95 total if you go to buffalo it's on you i got a i got a text from uber blade saying uh what it was like 1950 bucks a pop will fly you from new york to like to the totality in buffalo and then right back and the fucking ad said don't worry you don't have to get out in buffalo and we'll bring you right back to new york but like i there this happened not too long ago but i think it was either overcast or something so it wasn't a big deal um i mean it happened during the trump presidency right because he

famously looked up and i was like fuck you guys so that's what i mean i don't know what's happening what it's going to look like i still don't know can you look at it can you not you're definitely not supposed to supposed to yeah but you know i don't do a bunch of things like i what it's going to look like. I still don't know. Can you look at it or can you not? You're definitely not supposed to. Supposed to. But you're not supposed to do a bunch of things. I think it's like looking up at the regular sun. I think it's like – Right?

I mean if you just look up at the regular-ass sun and hold your eyes open, it's going to be problems. I believe you're able to look at it better, but you're still getting those rays. It's like getting a sunburn when it's cloudy out. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Okay, that was smart. But this is all to say, I guess it would make sense that when the sun gets covered up, it basically becomes night.

And this guy, he said, try to do Southwest Airlines solar eclipse picture. I was like, this motherfucker looks like he's in outer space. Really? Like on a regular-ass plane. And I was like, if that's he's in outer space Really? Like on a regular ass plane And I was like if that's what it's going to look like Yeah that first picture right there He said was from a plane

That's kind of sick I was like wait a minute Unless I'm just like Right it's a southwest flight Like did you go to outer space In a southwest plane Because that looks like you can see the but i guess that's what happened at this point so i maybe that's you know we're not going

to see that from the from the the ground um but you know damn it's at what four o'clock like three two and four is like when it starts and then like I think 330 something is the peak of it all. I mean I know people like take a a hard stance one way or the other with these things. Like objectively speaking that is a cool ass picture. That's awesome. And that would be very cool to see in real life.

Bro, you don't think the eclipse is cool or at least intriguing? I don't know. You don't have any feelings about like at the very least i think it's fucking absurd that all of these things like fall into place perfectly universe you know what i mean gravity works in this and orbits work in such a way that everything is perfectly round and perfect the perfect distance that like it'll match up this one thing is that big the other thing is a fraction of the size.

And it all lines up perfectly. At the very least, you've got to go, Huh, that's fucking crazy. If you're against, if you're anti-eclipse, It's like, I don't know. I think it's pretty fucking cool. What do flat Earth people think on stuff like this? I still think they... It's definitively factual that the other planets are round,

so we're just the square one? That's a great question. I guess you could think... Like, we can now see that all the other stuff in the sky... Well, does the flat earthers think that we're square? We think that we're flat you could theoretically be a circle on its flat you know turned so they think we're a vertical flat circle that that would make no sense because that's where you're like you're falling off the

earth yeah if you tell me the earth is flat and that we are upwards i'd be like you'd be falling off um usually at that point they play the bible and the god card they say like oh god did that okay there's usually flat earthers i think eventually get back to wacko religion and play the card of like there's a grand designer who just like made that happen okay i think because that's their only card to play there's fucking nothing left um all i want to say is i remember i think because we could probably look this up when these last eclipses were i remember an eclipse when i was in elementary school at some point i'm sure you guys all varying you guys probably not but do you remember being a kid when there's an eclipse very vaguely maybe not like i'm almost positive when i was in elementary

school maybe when i was really early elementary school so you weren't really not there yet. Maybe it was first, second grade, so you were like – But they happen every few years, right? So like – I don't know. That's what I can't – I don't know. I think sometimes – I think the next one is 2026.

And maybe it's just – oh, really? Yeah. I thought this was not going to happen for a long time. I think there's degrees of totality and all that. All I want to say is when you're like a little kid or you're one of these people who do the thing with the shoe box and the paper that you just see like a little ring on a piece of construction

paper, who the fuck gives a shit about that? I kind of know what you're talking about. It's definitely ringing a bell. There's some way to like, you know what I'm talking about with the thing though, right? It's like you have a box and a lens and it just reflects it it's a safe way to look at it to look at it is just like if i just took a piece of paper and drew a line that's all you fucking see right yeah i'm trying to like i want to basically confirm that like i did it right

and like these fucking kids top left click that fucking thing these dickheads are just like holding that up there and then all they see on their little shoe box is like a little you know a little circle and it's like that is the sun being blocked it's like great i don't fucking care man look at that dickhead image appears inside on white paper yeah that's crazy that sucks dick dude they had us all outside looking down being like and they were like there it is and it's like i'm sure there's a million things it's like you know i don't know if you look at the shadow of something on the ground you're not like look you don't get to witness it yeah i don't i i again it's it's ringing a bell it's a vague memory i don't remember it being that clear where you're just looking at a reflection on paper. That's all it is.

Or a shadow on paper. And it was, man, hard to put together. I remember, like, you know, cutting and clipping. That bottom top, second row to the left. That's what it is. All the way. No, no, all the way. Like, that's what you see.

You look into the box, and you just see, like, a light flashing on a piece of paper. That, I could take a flashlight and just shoot it at a piece of paper and be like, that's an eclipse. Yeah. Fucking dorks. I'm just going to go out there. I'm going to do this. I want something that brings all of the rays into my eyeballs.

I'm going up on the roof for this. I was going to say, so we'll be here, right? Yeah, we'll be here. There's a pretty cool spot right next to it. Like, you see the Empire State Building, and I'm thinking that'll come right over. It'll be pretty cool. I was thinking the opposite.

I was going to get out of here, because I feel like the city was going to be lame and get up where there's not as much, like... Is that three? I don't have time. Oh, I know, I know, I know. I realize I botched this, like, literally right now. Yeah.

I heard it's bad luck, so if we miss it... Bad luck to miss or bad luck to see it? No, to look at it. Oh. Oh! Guess what, Jackie? It can't get much worse. Who fucking cares?

So, whatever. I'm pro eclipse. I didn't even quite realize. I guess there's a bunch of hardos out there. I could see myself. All of these things these days I always pause And I think to myself

Like what would 2010 me say And this is definitely one of those things That I'd like write a blog Being like you fucking losers You dorks And it would be funny And I would have some truth to it And some good lines

And like I would have fun with it But Now I'm just like Nah that's cool Yeah You know Yeah it's like That's kind of what I was saying With like where people take Like a hard stance one way or the other Where like I'm just like, no, that's cool. Yeah. You know? Yeah. It's like, that's kind of what I was saying with like where people take like a hard stance

one way or the other. We're like, I'm not like clear my plans. I must see this. But I'd like to see it. I'm pretty like, I don't want to miss this. Yeah. I will tell you that much. If we had, if our interview is like somehow run along, I would be like, yo, we got to

end this shit. Yeah. I want to go see the clips. There are no baseball games going on today. That's disappointing. They moved. They moved the Yankee game. Really?

The Yankee game, they were like, it was supposed to be a 2.05 start, 4.05 start, whatever it is. They moved it to 6 o'clock. Really? I think that's a bit drastic. I think it could have been a cool moment to have a whole stadium react to it. But I guess there is some fucking liability. I don't know if it was for the players. I think it was, it wasn't for the players. Was it for the, like,

I think for the fans almost. I can't imagine you being able to pitch for that, whatever span. You know when they talk about the shadows in like a day game? Yeah. Like all of a sudden it's, you know, the top of like the third inning and you got to fucking deal with,

all of a sudden it's a night game. We don't have the lights on. It's like if you have to like catch the ball and look up in the air and then you're just like. Hard enough as it is. Yeah. But they can maybe look at a piece of paper through a shoe box and track the ball and look up in the air. And then you're just like hard enough as it is. Yeah. But they can maybe look at a piece of paper through a shoe box, track the ball. So I'm for sure team eclipse.

Now the earthquake now. Okay. So you are a very pragmatic person. I was going to say skeptical. I would say you dabble in skeptical. It's a little bit of both. Yeah. No part of you was like

an earthquake three days before like a celestial event. No part of you was like, that's a little weird. That's a little crazy. I honestly didn't feel an earthquake at all. No. Not even a little bit. Where were you? I was in the shower. I got out of the shower and I texted my parents. Was that an earthquake for you? And I was like, I don't know what you're talking about. I think it really

depends on what, I mean, obviously, but where you are and what you're doing. Like, I feel like if you were, if I was moving and doing something in the shower, I don't know if I would have felt it because there's water splashing and like you're, you're moving around. I was underground. I didn't feel anything. That's even weirder.

I don't think anyone in this area felt it. I don't think anyone at the office felt it. I live right nearby and I felt it. You did? Okay. I was going think anyone at the office felt it. I live right nearby, and I felt it. You did? Okay. I was going to say maybe the city is just like, there's earthquakes fucking every time the train rolls. But I, my whole house, ooh, that was cool. My whole house rattled.

Really? I mean, like, windows are, and it was a solid, like, I would say a good referee three count, four count. To the point that I was like, no, you know, me. I was like, oh, my God, like the boiler exploded. Or the fucking air conditioning units could, like, fall from the attic. I was like this. My dad was holding up the pipes, he said. Like he could be stronger than an earthquake.

That would be great. I would love like some ring footage. Your dad holding it and something just wipes it out. The house falls around him, but he's still got the pipes up. It's like in Twister when they put a belt around that pipe. Yeah, yeah. The final scene, they're just flying away. I mean, I was like was like yeah this is something

terrible happening to me and only me but uh but it's funny to realize that like i mean we yeah like your dad like i don't know i didn't spring into any action everything went out the window i was like are you supposed to go under the doorways or not under the door yeah supposed to get into the tub or is that more dangerous? I don't know. There's a whole bunch of shit they told me, but I don't remember any of it. But I'll say this. It's like a 4.8. It was in Jersey. By the time it got to us, does anybody know the number?

It's probably like in the threes. I don't. I don't know. Probably like a three point something magnitude. It was enough to like rattle your house. Like a 9.8. Those things must be fucking crazy. It's one thing i i just can't even really 4.0 after effect after that's pretty that's more than i thought i thought the after

effects would be longer or like smaller like you've been in a really big rainstorm so i can kind of wrap my head around a hurricane it's like this but like really faster you know uh i guess like a tsunami is pretty you a hurricane. It's like this, but like really faster, you know? I guess like a tsunami is pretty, you can't really understand some of those things. But like, I feel like you can, you know, you've been in windy situations. Maybe you can understand what a tornado is like. I can't, I don't get, you know, it's like the ground opening up or like things coming. It's just, it is so fucking insane. I've seen San Andreas, so I get it pretty good.

Oh, you understand. Yeah, you know. Do we not actually have footage of like, I feel like I always see after pictures, but I feel like I don't see like the ground. You see like this shit like rattle, but is it like the ground opening up and like eating people up? I don't think the ground ever opened.

I think that's one of the really bad ones Well that's what I wonder That's what I mean Is it You know Crazy But no part of you was like I don't know

Maybe something funky is going on right now Literally until right now Because I mean I don't know if you Read Dante's blog If we could pull that title up one more time for us Maybe we'll take turns reading it

so goddamn long but they were doing quite a bit of funky stuff that i'm sure was just on the schedule anyway but yeah uh god particles devil worshiping and rockets aimed at the sun colon nasa is doing some really strange shit on april 8th for the eclipse period like firing off three rockets called, quote, the Serpent Deity into the actual eclipse period, while the geeks in Geneva are firing up the CERN reactor, again hoping to find the answer to, quote, dark matter. That was a headline of a blog on BarstoolSports.com.

That is – that's got to be the worst blog ever written on barstool someone uh replied and said i feel like i'm reading a dan brown novel and dante said this is the greatest uh compliment i've ever received there you go all checks out i said hey dante dan brown knows he's writing fiction oh man that's hilarious but you know what if they were doing like the the cern reactor and they're doing the the centrifuge and they're trying to like time it with the i don't know what any of this stuff is yeah that makes sense so like checks out the what i what i in reading that i i read i can break that down to a bunch of people are doing their jobs. Like, that essentially says to me, says, like, John and Kevin are doing KFC radio on the day.

While the, yeah. I'm sure, yeah, like, the people at CERN are like, yeah, we had this scheduled, like, always. We do it every Friday afternoon or whatever. But, I don't know. Part of me was, like, I was waiting for, like, one of those scenes where, like, next up you just see a flock of all the birds flying in one direction. Like, we got to get the fuck out of here. Jackie, where are you at on all this stuff? Are you into the eclipse?

What did you think of the earthquake? What all this the earth you know i just remember it also is like one time in element or like in middle school during it was like earthquake like prevention or earthquake like drill oh that's my thing out for you guys right yeah yeah yeah there was two earthquakes that day and so like that mixed with this makes me feel like the earthquakes are like they know when to just kind of fuck with people you know i mean not actually but um what's the worst you've ever been through not bad probably like five i would say oh wow um but yeah i i mean i was just like in my apartment it was actually kind of funny like i was in my apartment and like everyone in my apartment like everyone on my floor

stepped out and we all like we're talking yeah and one person just goes like wait why are none funny like i was in my apartment and like everyone in my apartment like everyone on my floor stepped out and we all like we're talking yeah and one person just goes like wait why are none of us at work right now and then and then they said something like like uh somebody was like yeah like i can text someone from california i was like i mean i'm from california like that definitely felt like an earthquake and then i became like the expert the like expert like so they were like should we go downstairs and i was like i don't want to be responsible so i was like yeah i everyone get downstairs no way and i didn't even go downstairs but i just sent everyone downstairs and then i went down later go to work and they were all waiting down there and i was like oh my

god you're the best that's so fucking hilarious. Everybody downstairs. And then like it was so awkward. Finally some peace and quiet on this floor. So wait, they all like in that exact moment or they all like were like, okay, let me get my stuff and I'll go downstairs. Well, because they kept being like, should we go downstairs? I was like, I think it's fine. Like you guys are fine. And they were like, I don't know. I'm worried.

And I was like, well, I don't want to be responsible if like an aftershock happens. And like then now I'm like the, you know, now I let them down and killed everyone. So I was like, yeah, I don't want to be responsible if like an aftershock happens. And like, then now I'm like the, you know, now I let them down and killed everyone. So I was like, yeah, get downstairs, I guess. And then, and then I awkwardly walked by them like 20 minutes later being like, Hey, yeah, I didn't go downstairs. I'm not a fucking pussy. I'm not a fucking pussy. So anyways, now I fucking am the ringleader of my floor.

Yeah. I was going to say, you're like the tribal chief of that floor now you are you it's like in in like a survivor you would be like running the show now yeah exactly that's great yeah everybody got upstairs i'm from california that's amazing there is something and this always happens and everybody and then there's the reaction to everybody was tweeting about it and then everyone from California is like oh

you're so cute and we do it with snow when someone tweets out like oh my god there's an inch of snow and we're like you guys are fucking pussies but there is something

about the shared experience of these like things where you just you feel compelled I mean everybody tweets like was that an earthquake oh did I just feel an earthquake holy shit earthquake everybody tweets, like, was that an earthquake?

Oh, did I just feel an earthquake? Holy shit, earthquake in New York. You know, whatever. You broke the news to me. Your tweet was like, I'm underground right now. This could be an issue. Yeah, it's crazy that you didn't feel it underground. You'd think, if anything, they'd be closer.

But it's just like everybody's got to get their shock out. Yeah. I mean, it rattled me. Like, I'm from California. It rattled me, too. No pun intended. I was crazy. I was like, I feel. I'm from California. It rattled me too. No pun intended. I was like, I feel like I'm being cast right now.

I didn't feel anything. I didn't even believe my parents. I didn't feel lying. I didn't feel the aftershock. I got a bunch of tweets being like, did you feel that one? I was like, no, that didn't make it to me. I just didn't notice it. I was walking in the house.

I had all my kids' bags. I was opening and no, that didn't make it to me or I just didn't notice it. But I was walking in the house and, again, I think I had all my kids' bags. It was opening and slamming the door. I was grabbing my kid and, like, I don't know. I feel like if you're just standing still, you might feel like a wobble. But if you're doing shit, I don't even know if it will register with you. But I don't know what it is. There is just a human nature thing of like let's talk about this yeah where were you well what happened what happened when the when the ground mildly trembled for you i don't know the same fucking thing as everybody else like took three seconds and then it was over

yeah that's that's all it is shea was bugging out shea the first thing they were like they didn't believe me they were like they were like that's not an earthquake i was like bro it's a fucking earthquake for real and then uh shea was playing on my phone and like I got the alarm like, I don't know, many, many, many minutes afterwards. So I don't even know what the alarm was for. I don't think I got mine until like 4 p.m. Yeah, I was going to say. It was like later, right? It was like later in the day because – yeah, by that point, we were at practice. So she came running over to me like this look of panic in her face

because she thought that meant like one was coming. So she was absolutely terrified. I felt bad for her. I was like, no, you idiot. We're good. So, yeah, earthquake, eclipse, there's a lot going on. Oh, we got our episode with the two bears are out. Our guest bear's appearance with Tom and Bert, which is a nice little bucket list moment to check off for the boys. going on oh we got our uh our episode with the two bears are out yes our guest bears appearance

with uh tom and bert which is a nice little bucket list moment to check off for the boys kfc radio meets two bears one cave the uh that was the that was i think they said the first time they've ever had two guests on with the two of them which is pretty cool um the clip they've put out is the fellow's clip which i think is i think i think it's arguably burt's favorite story of all time he loves it i was gonna say it's burt's favorite story of all time and he has a story that he really likes to tell yeah the i'm telling i've said it before i think it's your machine i think it's i know i know you and i'm sure you hate telling it and i you, like, don't want to tell it anymore and all that.

But when people get to hear it for the first time, it's spectacular. That one, Owen was in here before the show, and Owen had just watched, and I think Pabst had just watched too. And they were like, you told it great. And I was like, thank God because Burt set it up so fucking high. This is about to be the funniest thing you've ever heard in your whole life. No, but you did, though. Look at you. You're up. You're out of your seat. You're banging. Bro, you are

on your way, bro. You're like an American Idol. You're going Hollywood, bro. You have been so good the last couple years, and I think it's just the very beginning. I think you're going to be a star, bro. You're going to be a star. bro. You're going to be a star.

You're going to look back and it'll be like when people talk about your career, Barstool will be like the prelude. People will be like, and he did a podcast before that. There was a podcast and a couple of blogs in between. A couple of marketing campaign things that he made up, whatever.

That's all going to just be like the beforehand. I'll tell you what, that's nice to hear. It's super inaccurate, but it's nice to hear because I'm definitely going through an age thing right now. Oh, are you? Yeah. Like I've just learned what age is. Like if this makes any sense. I love how you said

like i've discovered aging okay okay like i i it's hard it's it's it's it's something i'm wrestling with so you guys are going to be hearing a lot about it uh okay but like pray tell like i i've i've been wait before i do this i do want to tell one quick thing about how the night before when we were at there. The night before the podcast experience we were at. Yeah. We were at the Austin party. The Porosos thing. And before I even met Rogan, Bert was trying to get me to tell this story.

I know. Where he was like – I wasn't even in the circle yet. I know. And he's like, fights, fights. Tell the – who's got swan, like, it was like talking, it was the least

conducive environment to telling a story possible. Also, you want to talk about bad setups. It's one thing on a podcast

where you're storytelling, when there's a bunch of guys just like, we were talking about like fucking MMA and elk and all that, all that shit,

the conversation was already happening and someone comes in going, yo, yo, yo, tell a story and you gotta listen to it okay okay one two three go yeah it's just like no fuck no thank you i had like such a moment of sheer panic and then someone said something else and it kind of derailed that's yeah i was like oh thank god i do not want to

fucking it's a good how i debut myself to joe ro. It's a good enough story that I think it could even overcome all of that bad setup. But golly, it is a – he did you dirty on that one. He was ready to just – because in his head, he's like, this is going to be great. It's going to be great. I think Joe would have been like, cool, man. Yeah, right, right. So have you ever hunted elk? It would have just gone right back to what he's talking about.

But the – so I've been-watching Friday Night Lights. We talked about this a little bit, I think. Which is one funny thing I noticed in Friday Night Lights. Do you know what actor has arguably had the second most successful career out of Friday Night Lights? One is Jesse Pommons. Is that Landry? Well, Kyle Chandler. That's Landry up there too, right?

Kyle Chandler's up there, but I think there's an – Kyle Chandler's probably three. Kitsch is probably four. Michael B. Jordan's also probably one. Oh, Michael B. Jordan's in that. Michael B. Jordan's probably two. Connie Britton. Connie Britton.

Okay, the drummer of Crucifixorious is – The drummer of Crucifixorious is – I forget his name, but he's the brother in Get Out. He's the son in American Made. He's had a great career. That guy right there. Yeah, I knew he was a three-namer. Wow.

He's got a crazy... Florida Project? I mean, I wouldn't say a great career. Dude, oh, three billboards. I forgot he's awesome in three billboards. No Country for Old Men. Does he have major roles in these? In three billboards, yes.

In American Made, yes. In Get Out, yes. I think those three right there give you... You don't beat Michael B. Jordan. I forgot about him. But... Oh, speaking of Michael B. Jordan, I'm going to stop talking about Friday Night Lights. But the – there's a scene where he's talking to Coach Taylor and he's talking about how his life and stuff like that. And he's like, since I started high school, I've had three of my friends shot and killed on the way to school. And I was like, what a funny thing that the first three seasons of –

during the first three seasons of Friday Night Lights, high schoolers across town are getting murdered at an amazing rate and it never comes up. Nobody cares. Like an incredible – Didn't even break the news. In town, three separate high schoolers were shot to death on their way to school. Someone bring it up.

Not the Panthers, man. They were focused. But Gary didn't give a shit about those kids. I'm saying this all to say, before I started re-watching Friday Night Lights, I would have said, Taylor Kitsch, that guy doesn't fucking age at all. He doesn't age a day. And then I started Friday Night Lights, and I was like, he looks like a kid. He age, bro. He doesn't age a day. And then I started Friday Night Lights and I was like, he looks like a kid. He age, bro. And I was like, wait, if he's

age, that means I've aged. I know none of this makes sense, but it also makes perfect sense. I'm going through something right now, so we're all just going to have to go through with me. Dude, join the club. I've been on this. Like, I was just reading.

Oh, I was reading J.B. Smoove in GQ this morning. And it was, again, this all connects to you being like, oh, you're a second act, whatever. When he was like, it was like J.B. Smoove didn't find his career until he was 40. And I was like, he didn't find his career until 40. I'm almost 40. That's crazy for him. And I was like, wait, I found my career, right? That's what I'm saying bro you haven't even found your career you have well i definitively have no i don't think you have you don't know that you don't know that by 40 you could be doing something

else that makes you be like well that's barcels where i got my start it is kind of crazy to think that though like like there are times where I compare myself uh I remember comparing myself to Craig Carton uh uh not not really Burt I don't compare myself to Burt because we're not stand-up comedians but like I've just watched his career we've talked about work and all that shit and he's like considerably older than us yeah and like and Craig with with sports radio was was always cool to barststool and put us on and would have us on the show and kind of treated me like a contemporary rather than like a fan and like on the come up. But he's also considerably older. We're talking like a couple decades older.

And it's like there's so much that can go on in between that time period from now to when i'm their age and all of us and it's like who fucking knows good orbit 52 i think so so like i have my entire career to go again before before you reach where he's at right now and and you know he's been he's been pretty good pretty you know really good for like what five six whatever years now but up until then it was a grind and it was like oh he's been on some tv and you're successful so like like barstool was like we're successful but no one would be like oh my god right so maybe that's i mean you know obviously i'm a little bit tongue-in-cheek because barstool is is what it is but the way burt and even leanne was talking about like those travel channel gigs burt was like this is what i do to make money this is how how I pay my bills. This is my career.

And then it is definitively not his career. He reached a point where it was like, that is my throwaway part. You know, you never know. I don't, I don't think Barstow will ever be a throwaway part because it's just so different and unique and popular in its own right.

But if you make it to a certain level, when you're winning oscars john i don't know man could happen um i mean you look around and it's like anything's possible like like billy football might be a congressman for all i know for all i know billy billy football is starting his second act or or maybe his first act, and apparently he's a politician. I don't know if it helps him or hurts him

that he looks so much like a Pixar villain. Like, it's like, he kind of has dark eyes, and he's slicked over. A big jaw. I wouldn't even call it a strong jaw.

It's not a weak jaw either. But it's just big. Don't say he's got a weak jaw. No, it's not a weak jaw. It's this. He's got a very Joker face almost there with a big jaw. A big chin underneath. I forget.

It's not. When you meet him, he doesn't come off looking like that. What's his name? Big chin underneath. I forget. It's not. When you meet him, he doesn't come off looking like that. And in most videos, he doesn't look like that. Nah, he's a villain. He looks like the prince in Shrek. Where he's just got that huge fucking... It's just like a... I don't know.

What you're describing is like predatory white males. Yeah. They're everywhere. This is what they do. He's got like a strong jaw. Again, I'm not saying Billy has a weak jaw, but Billy's is just like, it's girthy. It's got, it's just, there's a lot of meat to it. I see what you mean.

Rather than angular. I see what you mean. Yeah. When Billy Congress started this, I was like, this is so dumb. This is like, this is so stupid. I think this is a dumb gimmick. Like, what are we doing here, you know? And then I saw that appearance with Martha was her name or whatever.

Miranda, whoever on Fox News. Bro. Martha Callum. I mean, Billy was spitting. Billy was good. Billy was spitting. As far as, I will say this. I don't think anything, you know,

I don't know if there was any question. I don't know that he came forward with anything that's going to solve the world. I don't know if anything was, you know, that substance, that much substance. But he spoke as well or better than any politician in those spots. Sitting at those desks, on these shows, on those channels, he sounded just like any other lifelong politician who was, like,

getting votes and winning elections. And she was trying to go at him. She was trying to catch him in a lie or like fuck him up with the paperwork, which like he was right. He had that done. He might have a small mouth. That might be what it is. It is.

You know what it looks like? Wait, wait, wait. You know what it looks like? It looks like when you like dub a mouth over somebody else yeah it looks like he has a fake mouth that's photoshopped in there to do almost like a filter yeah look at that thing when he talks it looks like this little thing just moving along right that looks like a they put it on a canvas of someone else's face they erased their their mouth and just put his tiny little villain mouth on there um But you're right.

You're right about how he came across good and all that. And I wonder, does that make you feel like, holy shit. And Billy is not a dumb person by any stretch of the imagination. Billy's a smart kid, all that stuff. But does it make you feel like, damn,y can go up there and everyone goes oh shit that was pretty good and 90 of the people can't do 99.999 that'd be like why the fuck isn't anyone smart doing this like billy billy not a genius but not a dumb person at all i mean it's a little bit funny like prior to this if you ask me is billy football a dumb person at all. I mean, it's a little bit funny. Like, prior to this, if you asked me, is Billy Football a smart person?

Like, in the binary world of Barstool, like, there's the smart people and the dumb people. Yes. He's on our side of the dumb people. You know what I mean? We're not putting him out there with, I don't know, PFT or some shit. But now, I'm like, he might be the leader of the smart people. This is the same guy who would come on Barstool Radio and argue about Barstool basketball and sound like a buffoon and not make any sense

and talk in circles or not have a good argument. I'm like, which one of you is the, I don't know, are you on Adderall that day, Billy? Or are you just dumbing it down for us? Something's got to give. Something's different because those two versions of Billy, you know, it's just hilarious to think

about him crying in the backseat of his car about African football. He tried so hard. And they believed in me. And what is funny, you know, and I guess I don't know what the proper way to do it is,

but like, you know, Billy's platform is like no taxes, but like, you know, public reform and civil works and universal this and universal that, but no taxes and no government intervention, but we protect every people. His platform is no taxes? No, but I'm saying a lot of it is like, you know, we want lower taxes, but we want, you know, better infrastructure. Well, let's do things that don't go in there. And we want, you know, universal this, but we don't a lot of it is like we want lower taxes, but we want better infrastructure. Well, let's do things. Don't go in there.

And we want universal this, but we don't want to pay for it. And a lot of it is – but that's what politicians do. So it's like at the very least, you're playing the game just as good as all these other cats are. I don't know what's next. Like what is the election next? Do you have another – I think as much hope as we all have for this, I think it's like. Like he gets cut out.

Yeah. Like well, well, well before. The Long Island Republican Party, I think, from what I hear, and some of this is from Billy, like the Republican Party on the Long Island is very strong. Yeah. Yeah. They don't like people who are kind of making a joke. I've heard from other people, not Billy, where it's like, they'll kill him before they let him win.

Where's George Santos from? Billy's running for his seat. Right. It's not that serious. That's a great point, Kevin. I was going to say say the only other long island politician i know is him and he's a fucking literal clown that's an extraordinary lying clown i'm i'm okay so if you really want to break it down now uh if yeah bro how if you genuinely

wrong is the republican party on long island if a gay brazilian infiltrated it right right or i don't know if he's brazilian but Right? I don't know if he's Brazilian. We don't know if he's anything, John. We don't know if he's gay. We don't know if he's straight. We don't know if he's white. We don't know if he's Brazilian. We don't know if he has parents or if they're dead.

We don't know if they died in World War II or died in 9-11. We don't know if he was in the club that night that got shot up. We don't know anything. But if you asked me straight up right now, we're starting KFC Radioville And you only have two choices Between two people to run it George Santos or Billy Football

I'm picking Billy Football So at the very least he's better than this fucking Jamoke The other thing I was thinking about with this I know people draw a lot of parallels Between me and Jackie And they're all pretty accurate I see a lot between Jackie and Billy, too. So I can see Jackie falling in something like this.

Congresswoman Jackie? It'd be like V. She'd be like Selina Meyer. I could see her be like, what the fuck were you on that one? I mean, I can't, like, I've just realized, I've just never been good at like forming sentences.

Sentences. Yeah. Yeah. But I would have said that about Billy, Jackie. Yeah. You're good at forming, like you're, this is again, the same thing with like what you were just saying with like the binary world of Barstool, where it's a smart and not smart. I hate to break the fourth wall here.

Like everyone here is pretty fucking smart. Yeah. Like there's, there are a few. Well, no, but I would say like in the, in the grand scheme of like the world we're smart people comparatively speaking yes yeah yeah yeah no no one here is a genius but like yeah everyone here at least has a good balance of smarts and street smarts not everyone but 99 of the people here right have a good a good uh a passable real world balance of intelligence yeah there's there definitely i agree with that and and jackie you're in that crew i'll take it but like me and her were gossiping the other day and

and i was like this dumb bitch and she was like now i can't say that because that's a little bit of the pot calling the kettle black but she is pretty fucking dumb no jackie that person was way dumber than you i don't know about that but well if you're not gonna have any confidence yeah no then i'll just call you a dumb bitch too okay actually so genius um jackie played her first soccer game this this uh oh did you this weekend yeah i mean there again there's not much to report there but it it's like a rec league. Right. Men and women?

Yeah. So there has to be minimum two girls on the field at all times, and I was the only one, so I had to play the whole time. I am so exhausted. I'm so sore. Dude, that's tough. Yeah, it was tough. Wait, you played the whole time?

Yeah. And I scored a goal! Yo, what are you talking about? There's nothing to report. I mean, I don't know how much people care about that, but it was crazy. What was, like, the situation? Somebody passed me the ball, and then I shot, and then I scored.

How deep were we talking? Where on the field were you? Like, I was pretty close to the goal. Like, it kind of made, I don't know. It was like a short field, too. Did you have a celebration? It's like, I didn't know anyone to the goal. Like, it kind of made – I don't know. It was like a short field, too. Did you have a celebration? It's like I didn't know anyone on the team. It was my first time, so I kind of was like – I don't know.

Did they all know each other and you're the odd man out? Yeah. They all kind of were like, so what are you doing? This is like when you went on your hiking club trip. Well, also, yeah. Also, like, I had two friends who said that they were going to join, and they just never signed up. Bitches.

So then I was like – but anyways. But, yeah. But I also, like – but anyways. But yeah. But I also, like, realized how bad I was. Remembered – like, I forgot how bad I was. You didn't have fun? No. Like, I had fun. But I just, like, I suck.

Oh, how bad you are. Yeah, how bad I was. Well, you were, you know, a superstar on 12 and under. I thought you had said you were on the bench the whole time. Well, like, growing up, I was on the bench the whole time. Oh. Oh. Oh, I thought oh i told you well after nine like when i was nine i was clearly the star player but then um yeah i think it's so funny and still to this day like if if you have to pick out the biggest examples of sexism in the world today, it's these rec leagues that say you always have to have two women on the field.

They all have that rule. Every team, you got to weigh yourself down with at least two broads. And they got to be on the field at all moments so you can't hide them neither. You got to play these chicks because they stink. It's crazy. So I was the only one,

so we had to play with one player down because we had, it was mostly men. And you're doing, so you was the only one, so we had to play with one player down. Because we had – It was mostly men. And you're doing – so you did, like, two – do they do, like, 45-minute halves? No, it was, like, three. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go for it. Hello?

Okay, I'm not home, so could they leave it at the door? No. No, there's no way. I love this. When people call in the middle of the work day they're like you're not home no i have a job yeah i mean i'll be at work tomorrow too though so is there somewhere i can pick it up i guess dude she's giving me attitude of course she is they all do that and it's like the same way you are working right now is when other people work she like she was like what do you like she's like is there a way he can get into your apartment?

No. There's no way he can get into my apartment. What are you talking about? And if I could, I wouldn't let him do that. How about we do this – how about you get in the fucking call center at Saturday at 2 p.m.? You're not going to do that, are you? Because that's the fucking weekend.

These are work hours. I don't understand how anyone does anything. Like everything I need, I have to be home for. These are work hours. I don't understand how anyone does anything. Everything I need, I have to be home for. Or, what is it? Is this what spouses work for? That would be a great, I got to get married because I can't get my mail. I can't get any mail, so I got to go find a chick who will just stay at home for my packages. I've had that with trying to get blinds set up.

We can come by Tuesday at noon. I'm like, what the fuck do you think i'm doing tuesday at noon i gotta take a day off from work so i can get blinds that's honestly i think what people do yeah also when it's a delivery it's like what are what are you delivering the nuclear secrets just fucking leave it by the door and get the fuck out of there a pair of birkenstocks like just leave them at the door if they get stolen they get they get stolen. They get stolen. Right. It's like, you know, let them steal it. Don't fucking care. She – like when I said, can you just leave it at the door, she acted like I was getting bricks of gold.

She's like, ah, no. You can't just leave them at the door. Okay. Then it's – then you decide. Flip a coin. I don't know. Do whatever you want to do. Put them on your feet.

Who cares? Sorry about that. Anyway, Jackie's the superstar on the soccer field. Did you play? Is it a full game? No, it's like, I think it's like 25 and a half. Still, if you're running around for 50 fucking minutes. Yeah, it was.

Were you gassed? I was so gassed. I like, and then. I'd be throwing up. And then I realized, like, I really am getting old. Like, I was having back spasms. Yeah. It's not.

Well, you know my rule. What? Like, was having back spasms. Like it's not. Well, you know my rule. What? Like you're still young enough that you could technically do it. But when you're 30, sports are over. Yeah. So you still have many good years,

but like there's a, you know, semi decent chance you roll in this summer being like, I tore my ACL. Yeah. Especially if you're playing 50 minutes a game. I kind of think that. And I'm so scared of my nose job.

Like I'm thinking about it all the time. It's so not worth it, an environment that's not worth it to risk the nose job. I don't know. Wait, so is this the first time you're playing with your new nose and your new tits? No, I mean, I played with my new tits for a while. Oh, okay. But new nose, yeah. New nose, yeah.

I don't know. Anyways. Doing the math in my head. What else do you have today because jackie said she wrote down some topics no no no i was just saying like if we if we need stuff to report like i have like voicemail-esque thoughts yeah like okay i mean um okay well i guess okay speaking of age this is of one. So if you could choose an age, you have to flip-flop between, so if it's like 17, you flip-flop between 17 and 71. And you can flip-flop at any point.

So what age do you think is the best? And I think it's 25, so you go 25, 52. Yeah, 25, 52, back and forth. But then 24 is, again, I didn't say that any of these were like riveting thoughts and we're just gonna throw out like you can't be like 33 so I stay 33 forever

it's gotta be two different numbers I would say I guess that could be a choice nah it's a pretty lame one 25 is definitely great between 23 to 27 was the most fun I've ever had. But the reverse of those... You might be right, Jack.

Yeah. Because 30s and 40s objectively suck. If you're doing either the conventional way, it sucks. And if you're unconventional, it's like, it doesn't suck as bad as the people with families and shit. But they're all doing that stuff. So you kind of like lose that lifestyle anyway. You know what I mean? I think 32 and 23 is a contender.

But it's like there's not much that – I don't – I want some old. Yeah, yeah. Then you're not – like the benefit of this is that you get to live like a little bit of both. Right. If you're 30 – like the difference between 23 and 32 is – was very drastic for me but not like – I was going to say for me – like if you're a city living, 23 and 32 is like the same.

Yeah. You're not hanging out with 23-year-olds at 32, but you're not doing something that's all that different. That's crazy. Well, except like my 32 was like I had kids and shit, so I would never pick to go to 32 i would just stand 23 all the time but like i want to i they say it's like uh like how they say like 50 is a new 30 or whatever like yeah like city 30 is suburban 20 right whatever right so it's all you're still going to bars you're still going out it's like i think by the time you get back to your 50s You have come back around If you have kids

They're a little bit older You have money in your pocket You're on to your second career So I would say either 25 Or 26 Because 60s is almost the same thing Just a little bit more It depends on if you're going to be good in your 60s

Or breaking down in your 60s If you're going to be healthy 60s i think you become like the fun old guy and you almost get to ironically enough if you do that 20 like like let's do 26 and 62 you can hang out with each other yeah that's like the you know like finding that gap is like if you're at the party it's like hey like uncle whoever you're gonna come over over and do a celebrity shot in beer pong. And he tells you a story. And then you go smoke a cigar and pass out. You don't hang out with him and be the weird guy.

But you're the guy who's like, I could still run with the young bucks if I wanted to, needed to, whatever. Dude, I hung out with my dad this weekend, and he's like 62-ish. So I would probably go 26, 62. Yeah. Genetically speaking, that's probably where I'm going to be at in my 60s you're going to be great man so I would like to have that in the 60s

beats hanging out with my dad in the 60s beats hanging out with my dad in his 50s yeah you like it like he's different better not really but just like I'm older so yeah like I have more fun with it yep but there was not that there was ever a bad time hanging out like that, but we went to the cellar.

We had fun. Hell yeah. It was great. I feel like you're more inclined when you get older. You're like, when you're younger, you're like, I'm going to hang out with my friends. When you're older, you're like, let me hang out with my dad and see what I can get from that.

Dude, he – this is a constant update about my grandfather here. Still kicking, huh? He's – well, my dad is now – you know how I was just saying I'm struggling with an age thing? Yeah. My dad's struggling with his dad's dying. And he was – not like visibly. Like he doesn't realize it, but I'm like, you're doing this because – like he just like called me. He's like, I'm coming out of New York this weekend. i was like okay yeah i don't know why but okay yeah yeah

and uh so i was like trying to put things together like to do and so i texted sam murrell because i saw he was on the lineup for the seller and i was like yo can you get us on the list my dad's in town that's all i said and he's like yeah course. Sam knows nothing about what's happening. First ten minutes of what Sam said, just about your dying grandmother. Did you, like, look at your dad like that? No, no, no. Straight ahead, just, were you, like, cackling, laughing? Oh, yeah.

But Sam was just about dying. I was old and stuff like that. He's just talking about how – I think he's talking about how people say I have kids because you want to not die alone. And he was just talking about how it doesn't fucking matter. You're dying alone and all that stuff. And I was like – I texted Sam after, and I was like, I'm not going to tell you this over text, but I cannot wait to tell you about your satellite. Next time I see you.

But it was – I don't want to talk about it because it's all Sam's material, but it was so fucking funny. Yeah, he's a killer, man. He's such a good comic. Would you consider – I'm thinking about my teenage years in this because I do think – my favorite time in life was that 23 to 27 post-college. But there is something about like the early, early years that I also love as well. Would you do like a – but then you can't do like 12. Yeah. Because 12 and 21 is weird.

But I do do like little league baseball years are like some of my funnest fondest memories as a little kid I wish I could like get a little taste of that but then in order to do that

you gotta like 13 you can't I guess you can't even go young enough or how about can you do zero how about zero and eight

and 80 like if you flip my brain back to playing t-ball I'd be like fuck this. Yeah, that's true. That's true.

This sucks. Yeah. Get me the fuck out of here. No, but I think, I think you could make that argument for everything. No, if we're playing this game,

I think if you keep the same brain, like a lot of it is, but no, cause like, cause even when you're mid twenties, there are your nights where you're like, I just want to have a glass of wine. And you can do that in your fifties.

If you're swapping, swapping, swapping. But like, so if, if you flipped from your like 55-year-old body to your 25-year-old body, would you then be like, you think you'd be like, oh, I got like my young body back. Like I'm going to get fucked up. Or you think in your brain, you'd be like, I'm over partying.

Like part of it is your body slows down. You're a 25-year-old flipping to 50. So you would have a 25-year-old brain. Okay. Okay. So if you chose 52 and you're flipping to 25, then you have a 52-year-old brain. Right. Right.

I was picked – yeah, okay. Because I'm just – my point being that you could give me a really good body right and like no hangovers and stuff, and I still think part of me is like, I don't want to stand at the bar all night. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's my brain, you know? But if I went back to just – I think you should just – you just get to go back to that time of your life. Yeah, okay. That makes sense. Because then, you know, it's like then you could just be like –

but I don't know. Even Little League Baseball, I enjoyed it, but it's like looking back on it is what I – I'm like, man, I didn't have a care in the world. I was just worried about like, you, I didn't have a care in the world. I was just worried about like hitting dingers. Dude, did I tell you? I've told this story recently a couple times. I don't think I told it on the podcast.

Did I ever tell you about my buddy when I was at FSU who got offered to go back to high school? I don't think so. Dude, so – I mean you recently told this story. I told it, but I didn't tell it on the show, did I? I don't think so. I don't think so. You recently told this story. I didn't tell it on the show, did I? I don't think so. I don't know it. So I forget why this came up recently, but I was talking about it. My sophomore year of college at FSU, I had a buddy who, my roommate,

was in great shape, good-looking kid, all this stuff. And I guess he was at a Walmart. We lived right on the border of Georgia and Tallahassee. Not right on the border, but like 15, 20 minutes, something like that. And sometimes we would go to Georgia to get 40s because Florida didn't sell 40s. And he'd gone into Georgia to get 40s. And some dude came up to him in a parking lot. And he worked for the state.

And he handed him the business card, this whole thing. And he's like, you can look like a high schooler still. Wait. He was like. Are you what? I was about to say this is like 21 jump street huh kind of what this is it's very similar so fuck out he was like he was like he's like yeah thanks man and he goes you know i work for the state we were doing this study on because at the

time and i don't know if it still exists corporalal punishment was legal in Georgia. So there were some schools where... Still hitting kids. Still hitting kids. So what the offer was to my buddy is you go back to school, you go back to high school, undercover. How young did your buddy look? Not that.

I mean, okay, we were only sophomores and not college, so we weren't that far removed. I guess so, right, right, right. And he was like, go back. Just live life as a high schooler. They were going to pay him some exorbitant sum of the time. It might have been like $100,000 a year. Yeah, yeah.

You're fucking 19, 20. You hear that? You're like, what? Like, all right. I'll retire, sure. Yeah, yeah. And he came back to our apartment, and he's telling me about it. And he's like, I think I'm going to do it.

I was like, you think you could do it? You're going to forego your sophomore year of college to go to school and get this shit kicked out of you? And he was like, he's like, bro, but I could give those fucking high school kids what for in basketball again. And I was like, that's a good point. Never mind, dude. He's like, it's always – you can keep the $100,000.

Let me go drop fucking $20,000 and $10,000 every time. You get to play high school sports again as a grown man or at least a little bit more. Yeah. Like that's the – bro, I used to – as like a kid when I would like play, like in my imagination, it was always like 21 Jump Street type scenarios. I'm actually like a detective kid. What's up? Well, so that actually reminds me of like another thought I have with this question is maybe you choose like 17.

So then you go between 17 and 71. And like 71, you just – you buy all the alcohol for everyone. You're just like, one second, I'll just change my 71-year-old body. Buy alcohol, become the queen of high school. And then also you can make a decision or do something stupid and confer with your 71-year-old self and be like, is this going to be a dumb decision because your brain is more developed then? Flip between that. You could be very selective about it or it's like

when you want to buy something you just obviously you're gonna have more money at 71 so you just like you'd be more selective about it but you could like just really use it to be the coolest best 17 year old ever you're not you're definitely not wrong about that that's a another great line of thinking but you're kind of like it was 17 and 71 you're skipping all the good years yeah that's so true like 70 might be like you're in your 70s year it's rough yeah you don't you don't ever get a taste of the good life at 17 and 71 you might have fun at those ages but like you get you get like like young kid fun and like i have grandkids right maybe 16 16 would be good 61 16 61 yeah that's what i mean like so in your teenage years you're picking like you're basically child years and you know old

yeah well i guess 15 51 14 41 too young i agree i agree. I don't look back and fondly love 8th grade. I didn't even hit puberty 14, 15. I don't think I hit puberty. I was going to say, I don't think you hit puberty 41. Yeah. I think I really do. I think the answer might be that 25, 26 area. Yeah, you kind of nailed it right away.

Yeah. What else you got? Okay, so monkeys are pretty, they're developing like i feel like pretty they're just kind of on our heels evolution i was gonna say i gotta get you on the horn my uncle what oh yeah yeah yeah he just was the latest one it was like a month ago the latest one not the latest one was like two days ago oh uh there was one that so john has an uncle who's obsessed with the idea of like monkeys and and how, like Jackie says, they're on our heels and basically ready to take back the planet or take over the planet. And he texts John, of all people, like, if this was my uncle, I'd talk back.

I'd be like, oh, word? Tell me why. What's up with the DNA? I want to know why this is happening. Like, what are we doing to defend it? This is so interesting. And John is always like, cool, cool, cool. All right.

Thursday at 2.19 p.m. Oh, my. Dot, dot, dot, dot, dot. A Daily Mail article. Inside the sordid world of monkey torture. I didn't know he was, like, doing it this frequently. How many texts do you think you have? Okay, this one's from Friday, March 8th.

Dude, they're totally prepping for the invasion. And wait, nothing in between? I've had a little more regular stuff. My grandfather's dying. Sure. But if that wasn't happening, would it just be like, monkey, two weeks later, monkey, ten days later, monkey. Monkey and tech stuff.

You love them. I would tech stuff. You love him. I would love him. You're like, we're talking AI and monkeys? Let's go. But he also, like, he doesn't, he sent me the video of the guy, of, like, video of man wearing Apple Vision Pro prompts reminder police to cross the street the old-fashioned way. This is one, no surprise here, but glad to have it affirmed.

No joke. Apes have a sense of humor just like humans. This is Sunday. Robo-taxis going self-immolation. Waymo robo-taxi set on fire in San Francisco's Chinatown. Here we go the people have risen up NYPD ditches its $12,500

Times Square subway police robot after only four months yeah I mean this guy he's like no wonder why they loathe us strained brain trip implanted into monkeys to stop them taking risks unexpected twist hiring in China monkey king wanted to stop them taking risks. Unexpected twist. Hiring in China.

Monkey King wanted. Perks included. Monkey King wanted. But wait, wait, wait. Let me ask you this. Is there a... Did something happen that made him like anti-monkey?

No, he's pro-monkey. Pro-monkey. Yeah, he's saying because of what we're doing to them, they're going to come for us. Okay, yeah. Scared of monkeys. So did anything happen there?

And then two, did something happen where he thinks that you are interested in this? I respond to everything, but it's just like ha, ha, ha. Yeah. Like it's – Because like when I was – This was monkey headline of the day. Dancing monkey kept on leads found to have disturbing levels of constant stress. They're stressing the monkeys out.

When I was like eight years old, my aunt was always the aunt we went to for Easter. This aunt would make baked honey, honey baked ham or whatever. And she would put, she would garnish it with pineapple rings. And like one time when i was eight years old i like took a bite of the pineapple and i was like that's good good pineapple i love it and she shoved pineapple down my gullet until the day she died being like you love pineapple right like like everything was pineapple flavored or garnished or just like buckets of pineapple and i just had to fucking eat it because of this one time i feel like somewhere i feel like somewhere along the line you said something about monkeys and he's like i gotta

text john about the monkeys john you like monkeys right you know the power of monkeys right i mean like i don't disagree with him like we shouldn't be doing the monkeys what we're doing like they gotta be getting pissed about just being used as torture all the time i would have to i think well what do you think jack well here's my thought is um okay so like also so alcohol is just fermented what i'm trying to get past it oh alcohol is like fermented fruit basically so eventually they're going to discover alcohol and at that point what what is the world looking like once monkeys are getting drunk monkeys discovered alcohol dog drunk monkeys they have oh yeah but okay so then my thought also is like i think that monkeys sorry to interrupt the monkeys down in the caribbean put in the video

the drunk monkeys this is great oh yeah they're already like yeah these monkeys they'll steal your drink they get hammered they fall out of their trees and shit. That's right. Yep. Well, so I kind of think that that's like the cured planet of the apes. It's like we just crack a few beers with the monkeys. Here they go. This is classic, yeah. Yeah.

This is an old school. I remember this, yeah. Is this Fiji? They just fucking love booze. Can you watch this? Come on. This is so good. The way they scurry away with it is great.

Wait, rewind so she gets to see one of those good ones. Wait, watch him grab and run away. It's great. That's fine. Not a drop spill. I know. He's a pro. Look at that.

Got his baby in tow with him. Like, we're going to get fucked up, kiddo. This is awesome. Okay, so there are any... Now, these are little spider monkeys on the beach. I don't know if, like, gorillas are... I think there's a difference between stealing cocktails and gorillas figuring out how to ferment

alcohol, so I do think I know what you're talking about, Jack. Yeah. Like, the day that gorillas are like, okay, I gotta take care of my kid, we gotta hunt, we gotta get some food. Also, like, let me go leave the fruit in the sun under the, you know, whatever so that we can get

booze going yeah i think that that stops planet of the apes and then we just like we're just like chill as hell with them are you saying this looks like jackie on tiktok they wouldn't let me in one bar. They denied me from every bar. I was solo. Wait, this guy. He's the one. He's just hammered. He's like wobbling, stumbling.

Truck monkey. So good. truck monkey so good the are you saying that the monkey is the irish man of of our species yeah maybe yeah like like i was thinking like maybe we think it's like the opposable thumbs that separate us but like maybe it's the alcoholism that's's another Dante great. Remember when Dante tweeted that fairly recently? Like, this is the funniest sign I've ever seen in my life. It was like an exceptionally common phrase. Something along the lines of, like, God created alcohol to keep the Irish from overtaking the world or something like that. Yeah.

Like, one of the most common phrases of all time. It's like, who comes up with this stuff? It's great. It was like literally in a bar. You could tell it's on a Home Good sign. This is classic. I think the monkeys... Monkeys getting drunk.

Drunk monkeys I think would be a problem. I don't think it would be peaceful. I think they'd fight more. Like drunk Irish guys at the bar? Yeah. We almost need to get stoned monkeys. High monkeys, I think, are a good thing. Drunk monkeys is like, yeah, the drunk Irish at the bar.

You don't want that. Yeah. Also, why aren't we getting more animals drunk? I don't know. Get the pandas drunk. Let them roll around. A little drunk kitten would be funny. We don't know any animals drunk vibes.

I know, right? Who would be the best? Ooh, good question. If animals could drink, who would be the best and worst drunks? And this kind of is unfortunate because it's kind of like what just happened with the age thing where there's a pretty strong chance we already just said the best one. Monkey. Like a monkey. But there's... I but there's a bear could be drunk bear would be great drunk bear though would be i mean i i have i have some larger friends you i've called you a drunk bear before where it's like if you're bare if you're if the bear is drunk and you got to take

care of him it's like oh my god yeah this guy into bed they're gonna get this guy into the uber but he's a thousand pounds as a drunk bear i'm like dude fucking i'm good yeah he's always like i don't i have the all of this is made to be left alone there's definitely been times where people like you know like john's like passed out on the floor like should we get him to bed i'm like i think he's good he looks pretty peaceful to me he left you in whistle pig that one time i left him on his tennis court uh tennis court one time he just sprawled out people like should we get him i'm like look at him maybe maybe i'll spray him with bug spray but that's about it whatever i'm doing i'm it's exactly i want to be doing it that's a great like like whatever I'm doing, it's exactly what I want to be doing. That's a great, like,

like whatever I'm doing, I probably don't want to be doing. That's the life I've chosen. Unfortunately, I made a series of choices where pretty much at all times I'm doing something I don't want to do. You are the opposite. And I implore all of the listeners and viewers out there to live like John. Think of your life as a series of choices and options that you must make in order to get to the point where you are doing what you want to do at all times.

Seriously. That's genuine. I agree. I would recommend it. But it's actually – it don't plan. And this is actually an interesting connection I'm going to make here for a second because I see South Carolina up there. And I remember there was a big deal about Dawn Staley

with transgender women playing basketball and all that stuff. And people were like, this is going to end it as we know it. It's going to end women's sports as we know it. Well, then we'll deal with that when that happens. But right now, like, sure sure whoever wants to play can play and then if if in 20 years it's just which i can't foresee at all it's a bunch of fucking dudes well then we'll fucking deal with that then but like right now this is what we want to be doing so we'll do that and then we'll deal with that when that comes right with that when that comes it's too much projecting and predicting and yeah i mean

all the time we we uh even like here like when we're talking like barstool drama like a lot of times we like predict like well what well what might happen or like what's good well if that if if we go down this path like it could lead to this it's like could but why don't we talk about the path we're on what's happening right now you're right the worst case scenario might happen and we'll deal with that when it happens yeah yeah until then let's go in the real yeah now some things you have to like predict and prepare for i get that but you start to go down that road too often and it's like well now we're just making decisions based on like fiction yeah right like made up shit that may never occur at all you know yeah oh yeah well

brawny james could play for usc next year sure sure he could i mean that so what's going on with him he he's probably gonna pull back out right yeah i feel like that was a test to see if some franchise would be like we actually like him or is that like uh we almost going on here i'm going to league i'm playing with my dad we got to get this done quicker than than like like if if i could see a world where lebron is like i only want to play one or two more years and so he's like let me just go to league right now it's raccoon sorry be a what oh oh yeah yeah let's finish that first um drunk raccoons uh remember that video of that guy who feeds all those raccoons

uh little frozen grapes and they're just awesome they're like so friendly damn raccoons are drunk there's no evidence to say that raccoons aren't born drunk i think well their whole life is just them dumpster diving looking for like they probably are eating fermented and gross shit that fucks with their body it's just just raccoons are constantly on psychedelics. I had a good five years where I was a raccoon. I had a good five years where I was a raccoon. Period. Stop. End of story. In 2019 to 2023, I was a raccoon. Shit!

A trash panda human. That's fucking great. It did sound like you were going to finish the sentence with something else. No, I was a raccoon. I was a raccoon. Dude, I saw a video just last night that made me think of raccoon. It was a raccoon attacking a little girl. And she's like biting the girl.

The little girl's about to walk into her house. It's a ring cam. And the raccoon comes up and starts like, I don't know if it ever actually bites her, but it's like wrestling with her and scaring her. And the mom comes running out and grabs the raccoon by the back of its neck. Yeah. By the back of its neck. And she's holding it up.

And the raccoon's just like, what the fuck? And then she just chucks the raccoon and gets back in the house, but the ring cam's still running. The raccoon just lands, rolls, and it's like, what the hell was that? And just starts walking again. And I was like, yeah, no, I've done that a million times. I've been there. What the fuck was that?

That was crazy. That's it. That drunk raccoon was me after that stripper or hooker or something just to let out my ass. I was like, what the fuck? That was nuts. Anyway, anyone got a drink? My mom got in a scrap with a raccoon once.

My first family dog, Jax, was a small dog. And we were in – this was back when we lived outside of Philly. And it was, like, pretty suburban. So it was, like, we had a big backyard. And this raccoon, like, pinned Jax down and was just, like, clawing at him. It probably would have been curtains for Jax if nobody was there. Really? What kind of dog was Jax?

Shih Tzu. Small dog. And he was still a pup. So he was like small, small. And he just got pinned down. And my mom was on the back deck. I wish we had a ring camera back then. And she just fucking booted this thing.

And it like skirted across the wood deck. She grabbed the dog and got in the house and ever since then my dad's called a raccoon killing kathy clancy have you heard the lore of raccoon killing kathy clancy that was that kind of reminds me of what i would call jackie's coming out moment the uh jackie and her mom with the crows. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait, what was that again? When Jackie's mom used to just beat the shit out of crows. She would, like, put, like, dead crows.

She had, like, all sorts of contraptions to get these crows. Right, to, like, warn the other, the living crows, right? Yeah. We looked this up. It's kind of a real thing. It is a real thing. The, like, rats kept bringing her like peanuts at one point and she was

like I think she's like this is gonna make me sound crazy I think I'm queen of the rats like it's like they be me as their queen I don't remember if that was very much definitively your first but it was up there it was like this shit can like

spin a tail I remember the first time Jackie it was literally Jackie's first day. And she was Zooming in. And Nick had said something. And then Jackie was like, so when do I talk? And I was like, who does this shit think he is? So when is my time to shine? No, it was – you weren't, like, being, like, I talk.

Before you were asked to. You were just trying to, like, understand the show. And, like, you were like, so was you. You weren't like being like to like go before you are just trying to understand the show. And like you were like, so I talk and I think we were just like, well, you'll know when to talk. And then and I was like, who the hell is this person? And then you said something during that show where I was like, that's actually pretty funny. That was all over Zoom. So the crow was in person. So it wasn't until much later where it was like, oh. When do I talk?

No, I didn't. I have the video recording. You guys are like. Oh, wow, you have? Yeah, well, I just have. You're like, so we have a new intern, Jackie. And you're like, it's making me so nervous that people are watching. Which I guess at the time it was only Nick.

And then you guys were just like, this is so weird. Oh, yeah, yeah. That was strange for us to have that. and then I like I was just there and then you guys like asked about like college and I was like yeah and that was that look at that honker I can't see what you have bro even back to the age thing like I don't think I look that different but I look so different yeah yeah like we're all uh we're all the same general person. It's not like any of us is like, oh, you became, like, fat, or you now have long hair or no hair or whatever.

We're all still, like, the same mold, but it's just like, I don't know what looks different, but it all does. Yeah. You know, Kristen Wiig, have you guys, like – Jackie, your nose is so bad. It's so much better. Wait, wait, let me – Like, your nose job was so good. I don't remember it being so bad. It's so much better. Wait, wait, wait. Like, your nose job was so good.

I don't remember it being so crooked. That shit was a schnozola. Go back to the beginning. Oh, my God. Yo, it is hanging right, dude. I told you guys. That nose is running away from your face. That's why I'm like, anyone who told me not to get it,

like, fuck you. Bad people. Yeah, bad people. But just like, you didn't know anything else. I mean, that nose is awful. I know. I know. That's what I was saying.

I never looked at you and was like, I mean, I was like, yeah, she's got a little bit of a beak. But I was never like, yo, that... Look how curved that thing is! I didn't know the curve. It almost looks like it's so heavy, it's just falling down. Just filled up. I also don't like having these conversations about Jackie's nose,

because I'm just like, well, that's just mine. You're straight Aragonero. Yeah, it's straight, like if I got it fixed when we went back to look at videos we'd be like whoa Jesus Christ John

your nose is horrific but it makes you feel good though doesn't it Jackie well no yeah yeah now it makes me feel good but it's also like what else am I missing

like what other procedures I hear you but that thing was a glaring you know glaring knock on your ability to be pretty I'm so fucking

I wish I got it like earlier um yeah totally what was i gonna say uh kristen wick looks so beyond good in the new like tv show royale whatever that that makes me be like okay money is literally just like you're not rich you're oh yeah that was a funny thing that kind of popped up over the weekend or maybe it was like towards the end of the week where it was like SNL doesn't hire hot people. Right. And then everyone was posting pictures of everyone 15 years after SNL. Yeah.

After they were incredibly famous. Yeah. And being like, oh, really? And it's like, well, yeah. But they weren't then. And again, you could do that with anything. But it's – I would agree with that person's sentiment that no one on SNL is hot.

Jason Sudeikis got hot. Kristen Wiig got hot. I'm sure there's a million people who got hot. Brad Pitt's not joining the cast of SNL. Sudeikis wasn't a fucking looker when he was on SNL. No, because those guys are doing fucking movies and shit. What do you think the number is that you have to have

in your bank account to be hot like to like i've thought about this like because you need like if you got shitty hair you need the new hairline if you got a shitty nose you need teeth like what's the number then you gotta start dressing better the the food that you eat you have to have a personal chef it's good skincare routine well also there's it's not just money because it's motivation too yeah because you can have money and still be ugly you can uh you know you bet the number one beater of you don't have yeah money but but then when i got it i'm like i'm not really not doing anything you gotta also want to do it like i could probably get a chef and uh like i guess i see i don't even know what to do. Do you go get, like, a skincare routine?

I don't know what to do. How do you get hot? Like, okay, I'm going to give you a bag of money right now. What would you do to get hot? In the arguments that I've had about this, people that I want to answer has always been personal chef. The food that you put in your body makes you good. Yeah, right, right. Like, if you're healthy

not only do you like lose weight but i do think like your skin's better yeah bags under your eyes you don't look like all that shit i guess also you know like i'm sure somebody would give me eyebrows like bro you're running around with no eyebrows you look ridiculous here's some eyebrows it is is there like how much do eyebrows cost is there like an exterior designer for people? That's a great title. I'm an exterior designer for you. Obviously, there are stylists. But like you're just like, yo.

Basically, treat me like a 17-year-old girl trying to join a sorority. Just circle what's wrong. I'm like a block of clay. Make me. We got to break that nose, girl. We got to fix that thing. I'm sure if I either – if I got rid of my gray patches on my beard and got some eyebrows and ate better to the point that my skin was not like splotchy Irishman, I would look a lot better.

Yeah. How much does that cost? I'm not really sure. Everyone being able to afford weekly facials and everything. You think that really makes a difference? Yeah. I think something like food and exercise and shit makes more of a difference than... In the moment, you get a facial, get your makeup done,

you look awesome. But that next morning when that all wears off, I feel like you're still... I think the skin stuff's just water. Yeah, a lot of it is. What does that mean? I know... Oh, drinking water.

I thought you meant putting water on your face. I've had... Yeah, you drink a lot of water. My skin complimented by Whitney Cummings, and that's nice i've had my skin commented recently by will compton where he when we were at when we were at the uh the combine he's like dude what is your routine and i was like what are you talking about your skin and i was like i just drank a lot of water will will is a great example i do i put on as well, but I've never had a facial, so I don't. It must just be the water.

It's just water. I also think if you're born with fucking a smear of freckles versus not. Freckles are hot right now, aren't they? Yeah. Damn. Will is a great, a number one. Oh, yeah. A number one draft pick.

I can't believe that was the first time we brought up Will. Will should have been brought up immediately. For men, he is the poster child of you're not hot or you're just ugly or you're just poor. I mean, look at that dude. He is proof positive that hair and teeth are everything. It definitely matters the most about how ugly you are before the fame too, I think. Yeah. Because if you're just like fine looking.

You have a before and after to compare after yeah if you're just like like in the beginning you were like kind of good looking and now you're like a little bit better it's like whatever yeah when it's like you know you look like you used to chew on rocks will like that makes a huge difference i think the hair honestly makes a bigger difference than the teeth because you can always you can always like like smile at your teeth right keep them low-profile when you're walking around with a haircut like he had now Jesus Christ dude okay I'm gonna ask you question right now you would rather have that hair for the rest of your life your teeth for us your life I think the teeth when you had like he wills gotta this is good we're really

fucking glazing will like. Will, like... What do they say? Hop off it. Hop off it. Doing tricks on it. Doing tricks on it. Jumping on it. You're jumping on it.

You're doing tricks on it right now, kid. Will's smile is very welcoming. And I think that is a more attractive trait than hair. True. I get what you're saying, but I think teeth, bad teeth, now his are like horrendous

teeth, but you can have like a gap. If you see him smile in the Redskins jersey, they blend into the jersey. That's so bad. But I think hair still trumps teeth. Like, you can have bad teeth, and it almost, like, if you have, like, a stray hand gap, it, like, becomes your thing. Right. I think bad hair is bad hair.

And, again, you can hide your teeth. But stray hand has good teeth. There's just a gap. Yeah, that's why, I mean mean those two are two different things but like if you if you don't have jackie what would you prefer in a guy uh like a bad bald like we're not just talking like uh you know you don't just shave your head and get to look like you know vin diesel or something don't say vin diesel there's a very clear answer for the hottest bald man alive. The Rock? No. Coolest, hottest, I don't know what you want to call it.

Statham. Statham, yeah. Statham makes that preceding hairline work, dude. Yeah, he works it. But so you can't do that. We're talking like you either have the Will Compton or Brandon Walker haircut, or you have like the George Costanza ring, like bad hair. Because that's the equivalent of Will's teeth is like the ring

around the head. What would you rather have in a guy or what's worse I should say what's worse in a guy. Wait sorry sorry the two haircuts are you saying no no.

So you either have a guy who has like the bald ring and he does like the comb over with like little strands or he has like a great head of hair flowing hair. Yeah.

But he has like you know a really crooked teeth situation. But he could wear a great head of hair flowing hair but he has like you know a really crooked teeth situation but he could wear a hat you know so you're only concerned with what other people think yeah well also okay I also saw something too and it's like

as a man like you shouldn't be bald as a man what are you doing being no no no sorry stop being short stop being bald unless it's like absolutely like you know you can't hang on to it any longer or like it's like cancer or something like that like there's so much that women do like to keep up with like i dye my hair like i got the nose job i do skincare i do whatever it's like the one thing that you guys kind of have to worry about is hair so it's

like i want to see the effort i want to see the pills i want to see the you know well oh you landed the plane there yeah but i will say this up until very pretty much very recently there really wasn't much you like could do yeah exactly like now everybody should do the pills and you have like the spray if you have the bald up here in the back. And now like just now, plugs are becoming like somewhat regular people can get them. Right.

But for a long time, it was just like when your hair starts to go, it goes, you're fucked. You just have to like the effort has to be there. You know, like I don't care if you're actually, but like if you're just like complaining about balding and then you're not doing anything about it it's like also it's funny when they're like do you know the side effects on that medication it's like do you know the side effects on all the shit that women take yeah all of that shit has side effects

bro of course so yeah we're like constantly being pumped with hormones and shit. So wait, if I gave you a guy, he's six foot tall, six inches, six figures. I'm taking bald. You're taking the bald? Yeah, for sure. Over teeth. Like a George Costanza bald. You don't have to kiss their head. You don't kiss their teeth either.

Those teeth get in your mouth. No, they don't. That's like when people say kissing with braces. If your tongue is hitting the braces braces i feel like you're doing something very wrong with your kissing yeah but it's still just like the thought the thought yeah yeah that i understand that i understand yeah you're not feeling it but i sometimes like a crooked smile is cute like i get it when people are like you know i think you can work that better than you could just be like you're a bald old man i think i'd also rather like if you have bad teeth you're

you look poor if you have bad teeth, you look poor. If you have bad hair, you look old. Yeah. I think I could work poor better than I could work old. Oh, I'd rather work old. Really? Yeah. Not old in like a good way.

It's like you're middle age. Middle age sucks. Middle age is gross, dude. People don't respect poor people. People respect poor people. No, they don't. Yeah, that's true. Respect.

I was at the rock climbing. My kids are loving this indoor rock climbing place. And it's awesome. The kids love it. You can do obstacle courses and climb walls. And there's always like a couple guys that are just doing it too. They're like there with their kids. And they're not doing it to be like we're gonna do

this like activity together they're doing it because they want to fucking climb the rock the walls and they're like pushing themselves or like you know you can tell they're like timing themselves and shit that's insane yeah that's that's borderline borderline like going down the slide at the playground that's crazy i was gonna say like like going down the slide at the playground. That's crazy. I was going to say going to the t-ball field and hitting dingers. Yeah, same shit. I'm going to be a pitcher. I'm quarterback.

They get in a harness and everything. They're walking around like adult men with their fucking – everything's harnessed in. They're strapping in, and they're climbing up next to a four-year-old. That is so crazy. Like, my kid was up there doing an obstacle course with a grown adult. Dude, kill yourself. That is crazy town.

All right. Everyone knows we are presented by Game Time. It is time to do one of my favorite weekly activities. I am going to see what's in town this week by Game Time. It is time to do one of my favorite weekly activities. I am going to see what's in town this week with Game Time. I get it is New York City, so there's usually a little bit more. But you can do this in every city. You can be like, whoa, what the hell?

What's going on? Michael Jackson, the musical. My son's a queer. Merrily We Roll Along. I've talked about that. That's fire. Aladdin, fire. Hamilton, fire. Marlins at Yanke Along. I've talked about that. That's fire. Aladdin fire. Hamilton fire.

Marlins at Yankees. Nets are in town. I'm sorry, Nets are always in town. Raptors are in town. Rangers Islanders. Tomorrow night at 7, I will be in Chicago. Oh, Olivia Rodriguez at the Garden tonight? Yeah. Are you going? What? Are you going? I didn't realize you...

Dude, this is... That is kind of disappointing because I thought I had a plug with Olivia Rodrigo. I thought I was going to – I did poor planning with Olivia Rodrigo. However, don't be like me. Don't do poor planning. Go on game time. Get your tickets. You can get tickets to any event, Olivia Rodrigo, for exceptionally cheap.

That's right. With GameTime, the official ticketing partner of Barstool Sports, you shouldn't have to worry when you buy tickets to your next big event. GameTime is the fast and easy way to get tickets to all your sports, music, comedy, and theater events near you. They have flash deals for sudden discounts, zone deals for sudden discounts, zone deals for when you're feeling flexible,

and their lowest price guarantee means that if you can find the same seats for anywhere else, GameTime will credit you 110% of the difference. It is the best place for last-minute seats, up to 60% off your favorite events. What are you waiting for? I'm going to buy these Olivia Rodrigo tickets now. Take the guesswork out of buying tickets with GameTime. Download the GameTime app.

Create an account and use code KFC for $20 off your first purchase. Terms do apply. Download the GameTime app today. Last minute tickets. Lowest prices guaranteed. Did you see my ED tweet? No. So it wasn't my tweet, really.

I just screenshotted something I saw on Instagram. ESPN posted about oh yes yeah the nil yes yes that's so so raise nil okay let's so so um zach ed posted that he's not getting paid nil money because he's from canada even though he plays in america yeah in what world is that a thing i think it's just like the law hasn't caught up to the NIL yet. To what, though? It's like... People on student visas can't make money.

Oh. Oh, so it's just any money. Yeah. Okay, that makes more sense, I guess. It still doesn't really, though? Well, no, it doesn't make sense, but I understand what's going on now. Yeah, it's an older law that if you're on a student visa you can't so he couldn't even like go to a work visa you're on a coffee shop and make a fucking dollar as far as i understand

it yes i don't have a great understanding of it but that is but no that doesn't make any sense because if you're a student you have to be able to make money it's not every student's coming on a scholarship i wouldn't be surprised if the ncaa know. The only thing worse than, like, you take the NCAA rules and you mix them with the immigration rules. Yeah, yeah. And you're barely a human by the end of it. You're just a drunk monkey. Like, that is one of the.

But you can make money elsewhere, which is why a lot of big-time programs have started adding European tours and world tours to their off-season regimen so the players can make money there. You can make money not on American soil. Bro, I would do like, I wouldn't even hide it. I'd be like,

today we're doing like a group activity together where you walk away with like a million dollars. You know what I mean? Just be like, you can't get paid, but at the end of the year we're going to host this big event and we're going to do carnival games

and whoever wins the carnival games gets $500,000 today. Also, why doesn't he just go film commercials in Canada or Mexico? Be like, alright, I can be an advertiser for you. The shoot has to be in a different country. They're going to have to get with the times

because any European players or Canadian players are just going, I'm going pro. I can't waste a year of not making money to go to these programs. Times, because any European players or Canadian players are just like, I'm going pro. Yeah. Like, I can't waste a year of not making money to go to these programs. Fuck that. But the other thing I wanted to say, I watched the Curb finale last night. Did he do it?

Did he? He did. Yeah. It's – it was great. And I actually, in more thinking about it, I wasn't old enough to have a real opinion on how Seinfeld ended.

I don't, I don't understand another way to end these kind of shows. Where, like, it's, it's almost just like, it's like taking

Kate and Clark out with three minutes left or two minutes left, whatever it was, so everyone can give her the standing O. Yeah. Like, celebrate her.

Like, that's what these shows are. Yeah, it's a victory lap. It's not like a – But these kind of – things like Curb, things like Seinfeld, things like Sunny, and things like New Girl, The Office, Parks and Rec, there was character growth throughout the show.

So there's a way to tie them up where you're like – they had goals, things they wanted to achieve. This one gets married. This one has a kid. This one gets the dream job they've always wanted. In Curb, Sunny, and Seinfeld, I'm sure there are other ones that I'm not thinking of. The characters never had goals. It's just, let's just exist.

So you can't just be like, and by the way, now Dennis Reynolds is president. What the fuck? That was never a thing. You can kind of only end it by going through, like, showing their greatest hits and being like, God, that was funny. Oh, that was unbelievable. That was great. There really isn't, like, it would be crazy if, like,

the curve just ends in, like, Larry David's happy. No. Or Seinfeld ended in, like – Everyone's got to be a piece of shit. Jerry was a famous stand-up and Costanza was married. None of that would make any sense. Right. So I don't get why people hate him.

I can't remember what was wanted or expected at that point. I was too young. I think I was 98. So I was like, what, 13? So I was like, I watched it, but I wasn't old enough to like read articles and like judge the reaction on it. I think maybe because it was just like far-fetched

or like everything else about there was just like them like living life in their apartment in new york city and then all of a sudden it was like this it's kind of a wacky zany thing but i would guess that's a real that was a real law probably a real law but i just don't because like this is a real law yes he got arrested for giving water to someone in a voter line like yeah it's kind of the absurdity of a real yeah i would just say that like if you're used to just like kramer you know coming across the hallway and george and elaine are like on a date and now all of a sudden we're like you're out of the city and you're getting

arrested for a weird law and we're doing a trial like i don't know that would be the only thing yeah but like it was it was a mechanism too it's like we have so many amazing side characters and bit characters what's a way we can funnel them all back through here how about they're all witnesses to your trash behavior and we relive it like i think it was a little bit of a tool that they used i think maybe there was people didn't like them ending up guilty and in prison because this – spoilers, alert, it's coming. Jerry bails them out right away. See, that's funny.

And they're walking out and Larry goes, maybe we should end the last one this way. And Jerry's like, yeah, that's a good point. So maybe it was just the fact that they ended up in jail and they ended up guilty. And it ended with the jail cell closing yeah yeah i do remember that yeah they're just there so like yeah because i think part of it is kind of like like it's almost like so wait what really happens now like they're just in jail like for how long but you know like to be like the end if tony soprano ended up in jail it'd be like that makes sense it's like they're in jail at the end of this what are you talking about about? That I can see people being like, this is, it's just weird.

It's just strange. Jerry doesn't bail him out because he is found guilty. Jerry has a mistrial declared. But I also just think that we had not yet gone through all of the bad finales. That was one of the early ones. The early, this is an amazing, probably like the first when you think about it, right? Think about modern, obsessive appointment TV television finales. Yeah, I mean, I'm sure, I don't remember MASH.

I'm sure there's a bunch like. Yeah, MASH. MASH people liked, right? MASH was a very big one. Yeah, I guess I shouldn't say that. In the modern era, for sure. But like, yeah, MASH, I'm sure Cheers a very big one yeah i guess i guess i guess i shouldn't say that in the modern era for sure but like yeah mash i'm sure cheers had a big one but i don't know that felt like i feel like uh maybe the other ones had stuck it maybe that was it too i don't know

but like looking back on it comparing it to some of the other finales i feel like that was it was okay it's just a highlight over here let's run highlight reel. Let's get the fuck out of here. Yeah. I know there was that one show from like the, I don't know, 60s, 70s, whatever it was, where it all turned out to be a dream. I think it was Bob Newhart. I don't know. I don't say you're wrong. And people like hated that one. They were like, that's stupid. And then there was one where it guy had two shows, and I think

he rolls over in the end, and it was all I think I'm talking about the same thing. He rolled over and was like, I just had the weirdest dream. And it was him on his other TV show in bed with his TV show wife. But, anyway. Let's get to our voicemails.

Hey, everyone. So, i know a lot of people have been sending in videos lately for girl boss jackie and i actually want to keep that going because i think i have something that is going to absolutely knock her fucking socks off so i was listening to the episode from about a week or two ago where jackie talked about her movie concept for if flowers were like largely consumed by humans like if they were like veggies or something else you'd find in the grocery store and at one point i know you mentioned going to high-scale restaurants and them serving like really elaborate orchids well prepare to have your ass just blown clean off because a lot of common flowers are actually edible for humans. And I'm pretty sure, don't quote me on this, that if a restaurant serves something with a floral garnish that it's required it be edible.

So I have a little list here, if you'll indulge me, of some like common flowers that are edible there's carnations chamomile which is used in tea a lot chrysanthemums dandelions which is also common in tea geraniums hibiscus lavender lilacs marigolds this next one is really gonna get you going orchids are edible for humans there's also pansies peonies uh, like the girl in the new Hunger Games movie eats the rose petals, which I thought was whack, but apparently you can do. Sunflowers, tulips, and violets. So this was not an exhaustive list. There's still a lot more flowers that are edible for humans. I just picked ones that were kind of commonly known but there are also a lot of commonly known flowers that are toxic to humans so don't like just go out and start eating flowers but yeah if you get

a little cocktail with the little flower on top or sushi with the flower on the side technically speaking if you are at a well-vetted, respected establishment, you should be able to eat that flower. But that's it. I hope you guys enjoyed learning this little information, even though it kind of kills the movie idea. But Jackie, I hope you remember me when you're famous and you open your orchid restaurant. Aw, cute.

See, we got to make this bitchy flowers. You know what I was thinking about this? I remember one time taking a biology test cute we gotta make this bitchy flowers you know what i was thinking about this is like like okay in i remember like one time taking a biology test and like there was like a question about the brain and i forgot like one of the things the name was brain the brain was named or whatever and i was like that's a ridiculous thing for you to fail me on like you know for my brain to fail me on like you know the answer you work like that like why are you like not telling me how like the brain knows how the brain works but yet it can't tell us how the brain works you know what i mean so then it's kind of

like sorry you're probably like where am i going with this no so it's like in terms of like cancer in our body like our body some like knows that there's cancer in our body but it's not telling us like that when there's a tumor like so then i'm like here frustrated being like why are we spending like 30 minutes thinking about if flowers were edible but like you don't like want to tell me that i have cancer like i don't have cancer but like why did why does that not feel like like that is some important information that needs to come up?

Why are we focusing on the flower thing? Do you know what I mean? I know what you mean. I would argue that your body is telling you you have cancer.

You're not listening. But it's not like a known, like it doesn't, that is something that you gotta be super fucking clear about that.

You gotta let me the fuck know. That's an open relationship conversation. We have to both leave knowing what we're doing. Don't drop hints on that one. Yeah. The way that like anxiety, like, you know, it's like your body's like trying to tell you when you're in a dangerous situation. It's like, so whenever I'm in any kind of social situation, like you think it's the

end of the fucking world, but you don't think to like really let me know and like really send the signs when i have fucking cancer do you know what i mean well maybe i don't know maybe you will yeah i guess like but but i just feel like you know so many people like i'm thinking about alana like she she like suddenly kind of had something in the back of her head that was like i don't know this doesn't feel right but like i don't know there should be something like you know your brain knows like yeah by the way we have a lump like that is yeah i saw i saw her story being like she she only caught it because like uh they ran one test and it said like what is the probability that i will like get cancer under the age of 30 and her number was like

a little bit higher than usual and her doctor was like that's enough for you to get a scan otherwise like grinnell caught it yeah grinnell grinnell's what do you mean grinnell was feeling her boob and was like this is a bumper so girls let your man fill you up and save your life um we gotta make you eat flowers though by the way we're gonna do a taste test i also like was Charles, let your man fill you up. It'll save your life. We've got to make you eat flowers, though, by the way. We're going to do a taste test. I also, like, was that ever in question? I eat flowers not all the time.

No, no, that was never in question. Like, I always knew that there was, like, garnishing and everything. I used to eat dandelions all the time. I was a dandelion fiend. That's, like, the one that's, like, people really don't like. The yellow one. I eat a lot of the yellow ones. Was it a child or recently?

No, a child. That's a daisy. But you said that as if, like. The yellow one. I ate a lot of the yellow one. Was it a child or recently? No, a child. That's a daisy. But you said that as if everybody eats flowers. I don't think everybody eats flowers. I ate flowers. There wouldn't be full meals, but if I was out with the boys

and I got hungry. Fellas! Give me your dandelions. I eat grass. You guys don't eat grass? I eat grass. I eat leaves. I eat everything.

Yeah, that's weird. I would say that's weird. That's weird. I would say that's weird. That's weird. What's your favorite flower? In the minority. I don't know enough about botany to give you my favorite flower. I can't tell you. You bring in flowers like a lineup.

I go, that one's pretty good. I just ate shit. I just ate everything. Yeah, you were that kid. Do you eat worms? No, not with any regularity. I'm sure I've eaten a worm before. You're disgusting.

You disgust me. But I wasn't like, I wasn't the, like, I wasn't, I'll eat stuff for money. I didn't eat glue. Didn't feel love of the game. I didn't eat crayons. I would eat because I was hungry. You have standards. Yeah, come on.

Let's not get crazy. I was like, I'm hungry. We're in the woods. I got to eat. Why are you in the woods so often? I was just hungry. Me and my friends are in the woods all the time. You can see the house.

I can go get a snack right there or I can just eat these dandelions. I know what I'm doing. Yeah. I think you're in the vast, vast minority on that one. Again, I wasn't preparing full meals, but I'd be like, buy Aiden, go seek. No one can find me. I'm good at Aiden. Pop a sunflower.

I just eat whatever's around. You're disgusting. Next fucking voicemail. I did some fat shit last night. Oh. And the whole night I woke up, and I had bought, shout out Caramel Cone, ever since you brought it up, I've been buying it. Don't do it. It's like a drug, man.

It's a drug, but I probably had like three or four bites or in the night and then and then later the night i was like half awake just had to get some ice cream and then i basically ate the entire carton and then turned the lights on i realized i was eating my roommates ice cream that was a completely different flavor and i like your evidence and shit pav's not reminding things, just reminding me of something. Pavs, this is how strong the line was drawn in the race war. Pavs didn't realize until after the game yesterday that he went to USC. I was rooting so hard for Kayla Clark that after the game was over,

I was like, fuck, I went there. You had the ultimate out to not be racist. I went to school. Oh, okay, he's fine. That's hilarious, man. Yeah, he's like, yeah, I put my hat on today. I was like, oh, fuck, I went to USC. Dude, you went to USC like last week.

I was going to say, you were almost there with her. Jackie still doesn't believe I went to USC. No, I don't believe it. Literally, I've never heard him have a story from USC. He never talks about it. He's not a fan. I feel like I was just like, yeah, I don't believe it. Like, literally, I've never heard him have a story from USC. I've never, like, he never talks about it. He's not a fan. I feel like, like, I was just like, yeah, I went to USC. And he was like, oh, I also went to USC.

The different other USC. The other one. That's why we don't know each other. Like, you didn't fucking go to USC. You just did it. I don't remember a lot from it, dude. I was really drunk the whole time. That was it.

That's all I did. That's what you said. I was partying so hard, bro. So fucked up at USC. The Don Staley National Champion, not many time National Championship, but a recent National Championship again, has yelled at you before. He has yelled at me. Last night. After I heard Gangster's speech, I was like, I'm a fan.

She's just too cool to not be a fan. She's 109-3 in the last three years. Three losses the whole fucking... That is crazy, man. Kaitlyn Clark. The people hating on Kaitlyn Clark, like the Diana Taurasi's and all them. I think that's a good thing. Oh, I think that's pretty pathetic by them.

I think it's a good thing. Oh, I think that's pretty pathetic by them. I think it's very... But I think that's that kind of like crystallizes. It's just the same. Right, right, right. The old people don't like it. Only the young people survive in their game. They couldn't do it their way. That is fair.

Yeah, it's like you are so good that you have haters like that. I do get that. But it is some true hater shit to be like she has not solidified herself as an all-time women's player. Like get the fuck out of here. You can say like she doesn't have like the cherry on top. But to be like if she doesn't win a title, she does not join the ranks of all-time influential women. The fuck out of here. title she does not join the ranks of all-time influential women yeah the fuck the i i was most furious with i don't even know the woman's name but the woman who had the points record before

woodward or something like that oh that bitch the there's no three-point line and we play with a men's ball the line she had and the way the crowd reacted infuriated me like none other terrible you can't duplicate what you're not duplicating and the crowd's like oh she's spitting it doesn't make any sense what she said doesn't make any sense that was terrible i agree that was so bad for people to be like that's such a big like what are you fucking talking about it like like i wish someone just stood up and went like what explain that yeah it doesn't make what you're saying doesn't make sense woman right i'm I wish someone just stood up and went, what? Explain that. What you're saying doesn't make sense, woman.

I'm more annoyed by the crowd. You can get up there and say some dumb shit, but to let someone get away with it like that? No, no, no. You don't get to just say that shit. You just fucking dragged her. You can't duplicate what you're not duplicating. Awful, awful. I didn't even see that.

It's horrible. her you can't duplicate what you're not duplicating awful awful fingers i don't even see yeah yeah it was and like she said it like it was a bar and the crowd reacted it was a bar it doesn't make sense no yeah next voicemail shout out that girl she was nice dude oh by the way with that that girl's background the whole time for like not the whole time but for half the video i was like – not the whole time, but for like half the video. I was like, damn, she's doing this like on a mountain? Yeah, wait. Oh, no. She's just in a room?

Yeah. Wow, yeah. I thought she was outside too. That's funny. It's like, wow, this is a beautiful view. She just has her balls painted blue. Hey, KFC, Feidelberg, everybody else. I heard Feidelberg doing a game time ad last week shout

out game time um i too am going to the tim robinson show in a couple weeks here in nashville and um i don't really know what i'm getting myself into i don't know i'm not sure if it's gonna be like stand-up or sketch improv whatever it might be so my question is when's the last time that you bought something that you had no idea what you were actually going to experience thanks oh i went to a burlesque show in the west village a few years ago i didn't know it was like it's like hey do you want to come to dinner also there's a burlesque show happening and i was like okay and it was like there really isn't a great story that comes from it, but I walked in. I did not expect some chick's twat to be rotating above my table during dinner as it was.

He just threw out the T word. So casual. So casual. He threw that out like we all say it all the time. Bro, you ever had like – It was like – My answer to this question is coming on this podcast because I did not expect you to drop twat in my face like that. Bro, it was – so she was above the table and like in those – you know like the ropes or whatever that like Pink uses?

They're almost like sheets that people like swing on. Like from Can You Take Me? So like they had those kind of things. And she had her legs wrapped in them. And like, say this is the table. Like 10 feet above it is a woman who's naked with her legs spread apart. Almost like she's marinating the fucking meal with her pussy. You know what I mean?

You know what I mean? So like you would just kind of eat, and you look up, and you're like, that's a muff. A muff? This guy is on fire! He said twat, marinate, and muff in a matter of 60 seconds.

You are deplorable, dude. You are disgusting. Yeah, but I mean, as we just learned last week, I can eat around anything. You think in open pussies ruining my appetite, you are dead wrong, buddy. Everyone else is like, what the hell happened? I was like, you can finish that? Yo.

My answer for this... I mean, I knew what we were getting into in Amsterdam. I didn't really know we were getting into stilettos up the asshole. Yeah. That was a bit like... I thought we were going 80%. We went 100% that. So that's probably up there for me.

Oh, I can't answer this question publicly yet because the video is not out. But Chris Clemmer's rat race, I got into something I did not know what I was getting into. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a good one. This will make sense whenever that comes out. We'll go revisit this and we'll talk about that then. But I got duped into some shit that Kevin Clancy does not usually do and I was not happy about it. He was so mad.

So mad. It was – You said you've never seen my face like that. I didn't know how to handle it. Usually, like, I think we know how to handle each other. And I know I could tell that you didn't know how to handle it. You were kind of looking at me like, I don't know what to say here. It was one of those ones where it was like you had a face where it was like, don't make fun –

like, not make fun, but like, don't make this a good time right now. We're not happy. We're not having a good time. And if you tried to goober out, I would have been like, this a good time right now yeah we're not happy we're not having a good time and if you tried to go over out and be like shut the fuck up right now yeah yeah when i say don't make fun i mean like don't make fun yes like yeah like don't don't try and spin this let's just get this fucking over with and get the fuck out of here not now all right one more one more um for mexico city for mexico city i booked oh yes i booked a Not now, John. Not now. All right. One more. One more. For Mexico City, I booked. Oh, yes.

I booked a hot air balloon ride. And then breakfast in a cave. I don't know like what cave. Hell yeah. Oh, boy. And then some kind of like a boat. Oh, God. Boat like alcohol tasting tour.

Oh, good. Let's get the single female on a boat drunk. That is, Jackie, that's literally where the murders happen. Anytime somebody disappears, they're either on a yacht or a cruise or just a regular old boat. Because of the implication. They take you out on a boat and get you drunk. It's like a what? Murders happen where good times happen.

Yeah. Well, there's apparently karaoke on this boat. There's karaoke on the land, too. But it seems like a wholesome. I don't know. I'm not getting murder vibes. Are you going with, I'm assuming you'll be in another party? Other people will?

Yeah, I think so. I don't know. Again, I don't know who I'm getting myself into. I just signed up for a bunch of shit yeah that's a good list yeah right yeah what'd you say hot air balloon hot air balloon dinner in a cave breakfast in a cave breakfast in a cave meal uh drinking on a boat karaoke yeah no museum but that's okay well i so i'm not gonna like pre-buy museum tickets because i'm just gonna go go there. Because I don't want to like people to walk around and then go to a museum.

I really don't give a fuck about history. So I'm having a hard time. She's beating around the bush. She just doesn't want to go to a museum. But go to a museum with a tour guide. Get a personal tour. But you're the king of tour guides just lying. Yeah, but it's

fun. Yeah, as long as you just buy into the story. Yeah. I think I was telling the story. But you're the king of tour guides just lying. Yeah, but it's fun. Yeah, as long as you just buy into the story. Yeah. Dude, I think I was telling Jackie this story. When I was in Amsterdam and I was at the Museum of Modern Art, and there was pictures of these paintings of this man. And I've told you parts of this, at least, or maybe the whole thing. Pictures of this man, and he's just – it's pretty standard paintings. But there's always a city, lit lit name just spelled out in every picture.

And it's because he was running from Hitler. He had been – by Hitler, he had been labeled a degenerate artist and all degenerate artists were put to death. He learned he was a degenerate artist by getting invited by Hitler to the degenerate art show, got there and was like a lot of my paintings here and was like fuck this got out of town right away and then spent a good amount of the rest of his career maybe the rest of his career doing paintings and in every painting he would say where he is as a little fuck you at hitler no way that's gangster that's awesome yeah i was like had i not had a tour guide to tell explain never to me, I'd be like, okay, cool painting of a guy in London.

And I was like, that's fucking sick. So I always use that example. It's like, if you have a tour guide with you, you learn a lot more where you're like, wait, hang on. That's really fucking cool. And do we confirm that? You know what? You know what? Don't ruin

a good story with the truth. His name was Max. I don't have that notebook anymore. That's so good. Imagine being like giving FUs to Hitler. I want to say it was Max. The number one guy. Max Beckman.

Fucking I. Come on. Come on. That was fucking good. That's funny. Yeah, dude. All right, no more voicemails, but Jackie, you will be going to Mexico. Morgan Wallen, where was he when he did it?

Nashville. Nashville. See, that's crazy. So Morgan Wallen, the reason I bring it up is because when I was in Mexico, I alluded to this before, but I was at Señor Frogs in Mexico. We were smoking some weed on an outdoor balcony

of the bar. My buddy, Kyle, I just watched him all by himself. He was just alone. We were hanging out, but on his own, he just picked up a fold-up chair and just threw it over the balcony. I mean, we were hanging out, but on his own, he just picked up a fold-up chair and just threw it over the balcony.

And I was just like, dude, why the fuck did you do that? And he was like, I don't know, man. I don't know. And then he just did it again. And I am so not that kind of guy. I don't do any of that sort of shit. I don't like

vandalizing. I don't think it's funny. All that shit. And I guess I was just caught up in the moment. Spring break. I was drunk. And I was just like, I want to try that too. And it went into like a... It was just trees.

Kind of like a canopy almost. Just a brush of sort. And it would just go into like the depths and just disappear we couldn't hear anything at the bottom we were kind of like on i guess it was almost like a mountainside in a weird way it was like an outdoor mexican whatever but it wasn't just like there was a a lower level to the bar or it was just like smashing on a driveway it was just disappearing which on the one hand i was like that's good for all we you know hopefully it's just landing at like the bottom of rocks you know the other hand

i don't know there could be a fucking family of four living in like a hut down there that were just raining steel chairs down upon them but this was in mexico in a weird outdoor spot like i don't know what the fuck is going on that we almost got arrested there was like cops on the scene and we were getting into a cab and like the bar owner was like pulling us out to be like this it's them it's them and we just handed them all the cash we had to be like let us get in this car and go away that's the only reason we got away with it because we just paid all the bar owners this he was throwing chairs off of the bar in nashville yeah in the like i it's because that's a totally different story we've been we've the bar in nashville yeah in the like i it's because that's a totally different story we've been we've all been in nashville we've all been in those bars you're

not throwing chairs anywhere that is not dangerous yeah the bar is called chiefs it's uh it's uh fucking eric church's bar okay i don't know i imagine it's on broadway um chiefs bar he writes Chiefs on Broadway So yeah it was on Broadway So that's a You're throwing it to quite a crowd Inside? Like in the Or out onto the street

I understood out onto the street Yeah I mean you're throwing it onto Fucking like Broadway That's insane That's a That's a crazy move That is that is not so jackie do not do that okay okay i got away with it morgan wallen did not we don't want to see you get involved in that situation at all uh that that's you know you you gotta you can't be that guy yeah

that guy's an asshole that guy is the guy nobody you should never want to be that guy you know there's just like no no reason for that shit

I hate that stuff that is we threw a brick through the window like stop just fucking that's not funny it's not cool

it's not tough six story bar you're absolutely potentially killing somebody imagine if that hit someone oh you're done you're done your career is over because their life is over you're getting sued for every penny if not going straight to jail charged with three felonies that's no joke and that's the kind of shit that like they you know they like make a like a make it a make an

example out of you you know what i mean like we don't like this shit we don't tolerate this shit you're fucking done so Jackie no vandalism of any sort in Mexico okay deal deal I mean again I'm going alone so I don't know like who I'd be vandalizing with oh so you need you need a partner to vandalize you'd be one of those like you could be convinced by like your peer pressure that would just be crazy if I'm just like alone throwing chairs well that's what was crazy about my buddy like he didn't turn to me and go like yo you dare me to throw this chair off he was just like a little bit high it was just like it was like an experiment you're just like try it again wild all right uh we got an interview very important interview with one of the all-time most badass dudes ever, Walton Goggins is on the show, who arguably has one of the greatest TV resumes of all time.

Just one hell of a guy. New show coming out on Amazon, Fallout. You don't think what? I don't think it's crazy for me to say I love Wollongong. I'm in love with this man. He's got an air about him where it's just like, that's a fucking... I think the voice is part of it a little bit. It's very soothing.

Again, his resume, some of the greatest shows of all time but you just he's everything i thought he was going to be yeah for whatever reason i was like wallen goggins is going to be a really nice and like endearing and like warm inviting guy where it's going to just like feel like we're all buddies and we you know and and it is exactly that along with just unbelievable stories the the names, the experiences. It's incredible. I feel like what people say about celebrities when they're trying to really be complimentary is like, he's just a regular guy. He's just a regular guy.

Wallen Goggins is just a regular guy. He's also clearly not. I was going to say he's not a regular guy in my mind. He'll talk to you, but there's also another thing to him. Yes. He's got clearly not. I was going to say he's not a regular guy in my mind. He'll talk to you, but there's also another thing to him. Yes. He's got another level. It's not. He's the perfect blend of like he's artsy and cool,

but he is just a regular guy too who's like, I mean, I think after the interview he's like, what are you guys doing tonight? Right? I don't think it's crazy that me and Walton Goggins drink some whiskey in the West Village at some point. Right. He was like, yeah. It wasn't clear, but I feel like there was like a –

There's a spark. There's a spark. He said something like, what are you guys doing? He just said that. I don't know if it was he was asking like just being polite or if he was like – Like, do you want to hang out? He was like, what are you guys doing? Dude, his line about the boots is one of the greatest lines of all time.

I'll just leave it at that. The Walton Goggins boots steals the show. So let's get into it. It's a bucket list I didn't even know was on my list until I did it. Walton Goggins on KFC Radio. How you doing, man? I'm good, dude. How are you?

I am honestly, Mr. Walton Goggins, I am a lot better now that you're here. No, this is big. This is a big one for us. We are going to put you on that mic. On this mic right here. Okay. Is my jacket out of shot? You're all good, man.

You can do literally whatever you want here. You put it over my face? You are. Hey, man. Yeah, move this back. See that KFC? You got to see that. We are big

consumers of television. We watch a lot of TV. You're one of the goats, man. You're one of the greatest. The debate we were having the other day, one of our guys tweeted it out with the announcement of White Lotus and Fallout coming out and then the rest of your Lotus, uh, and fall out coming out. And then,

you know, the rest of your incredible resume, you might have a case for like the best TV resume ever. I don't know. I don't know why you're laughing. You don't think that? I got no pressure. Oh no.

Dude. Like, I mean, think about it. The run you've had and the run and what you're, you could have stopped. You could have stopped and not done fallout and, and not done Fallout and White Lotus and still been good. And you're going to add two of the biggest shows ever to your resume.

On top of Sons and Justified and Invincible. I feel people wouldn't even know you're doing Invincible. It's crazy. I'm very grateful. A lot of people move a lot of things around in order to give me these opportunities. And I'm very, very, very grateful for it, you know? I mean, like, you know, it's interesting the way one's career kind of evolves over time. I moved to L.A. when I was 19 years old.

From where? From Georgia. A little town right outside of Atlanta, Lithia Springs. You know Noonan? Say it again? You know Noonan, George? Yeah, I know Noonan. I dated a girl from Noonan Oh, yeah

Yeah, man Yeah, yeah, yeah Great spot 45 minutes from the highway How do you know Noonan? He got swindled into buying some real estate there Yeah, absolutely Of course you are

Yeah He's always pitching it I have to take the show down there 45 minutes to the airport Thank you very much We got a spot down there And then a hurricane came the next day, and this ruined everything.

But I hear it's a great up-and-coming city. Yeah, you get all of that. I just moved from Los Angeles to New York. Oh, did you? Oh, wow, you worked there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 30 years. 30 years in L.A., and I love it.

Wait, so when did you move to New York? Like this year? Two years ago so you're still pretty fresh that's a culture shock no really fresh yeah

so fresh from Georgia to LA to New York is like you're not ready for this yeah yeah and I mean like obviously

we spent a lot of time in the city but we we bought a place upstate oh there it is and the when we were kind of looking and we've been going up there for a really long time

my in-laws moved up there like 30 years ago. My wife and I have been together for a long time. But the one thing the real estate agent said and the guy whose house that we bought, the people representing it, said, you know, the thing about where we live, nothing happens here. There's no weather here. There's no chance for real hurricanes. There's no weather here. There's no chance for real hurricanes. There's no earthquakes. There's not really wildfires because everything is mold from wet. He said, and that's kind of about it.

It's boring. I said, not to me, man. I'm looking for boring. I was going to say, give me no weather events, please. What you just described is bliss, especially for a homeowner, man. I mean it man dude i'm looking at your outfit your hair your vibe and i bet you have just the most beautiful home upstate just just like just like straight out of homing go are you flirting with me

heading upstate it sounds like what's your favorite cocktail well okay Are you flirting with me right now? I love it. Come on, dude. What are you doing later on tonight? I could for sure see you. Heading upstate, it sounds like. What's your favorite cocktail? Well, okay. What cocktail do I not drink? Not drink. I can see you on the porch. She's rocking, sipping.

Well, I mean, but it's like there's a cocktail for every occasion. True. And I have a spirits company. So, I mean, like I know, like I like to make cocktails. That's my thing. And, but, you know, if I'm, like, the night before last when I was home before I came down, beautiful fire going, and I'm going to have a Manhattan. Yeah.

I'm going to pour it in my whiskey. And you do it a certain way, right? It's Mulholland. Mulholland Distilling. Yeah, but we do a whiskey, a gin, and a vodka. Anyway, I'm not here to sell you all my spirit, Brad. But we've been at it for a long time. And it just kind of came out of a love of socializing and drinking.

And drinking is a gateway to vulnerability, man. It's a way in which people have communed for thousands of fucking years, man. I mean, that's what it is. I always like to think about the first guys who, I don't know, fucked up and something fermented and they drank it by accident and they were like, what is happening? Let's do that again. That was so fun. And again.

And again. Keep doing that again. Put it in a bottle. Yeah, but I saw, yeah, like I'm a Manhattan, I'm a Negroni. I like, you know, saw yeah like i'm a manhattan i'm a you know a negroni i like uh you know this friend of mine has this this uh thing of sofia which is uh like a mezcal negroni but but with really with lime mezcal's having i love having a great yeah a great run i love watching you talk about drinking because it's almost it kind of like feels like you're talking to bert bert kreischer we're like you because like i i i Bert Kreischer. We're like you, because I'm with you.

We're like, I romanticize drinking and the idea of drinking like a public house, like way back in the day, like a true public house. We're like, we're not at work. We're not at home. We're at our third location and just talking. Sawdust on the ground. I mean, when water was that polluted, I mean, there's so many TED Talks.

We were fucked up for years. We just operated with a low-grade buzz for a year. A whole time. I was in Amsterdam. And it was pretty cool. It was all right. Amsterdam, they were telling us about how the water, because Amsterdam is lakes or some kind of body of water around it

that you couldn't drink. So they had to ferment everything. So they woke up and started drinking. It was like 1%, 2%. But every single person, man, woman, child, would wake up and start drinking. What's that movie where they all have a buzz with Matt Nicholson? Another Round. They're actually redoing it.

Leonardo DiCaprio's producing it and Chris Rock's directing. Oh, wow. Yeah, they're doing an American version. They try to always, this guy experiments with, I'm just going to try to be buzzed. And it goes off the rails. That idea, it's a good idea on paper. It doesn't really work out in practice, but it's a nice thing to romanticize.

So much about that. My cultural references are more often not from the South. That's where I'm from. That's where I was raised, even though I left when I was 19. But for us, growing up in the South,

so much of it centers around storytelling. We have some TV on, but not really. The stories that my family has or any other person's house where I was visiting, their stories are much more entertaining than really what's going on on television. And it would usually start with a cocktail, right? A sundowner. And it was whatever kind of cocktail that television. And it would usually start with a cocktail, right? A sundowner.

And it was whatever kind of cocktail that was. And it was oddly comforting. And it is romantic, whether it's in your living room or whether it's at a restaurant or whether it's in a different country. Who doesn't want to have a glass of wine at a Parisian cafe or whatever that is? You know what I would say, though,

is I think the same way about television a little bit i i think sharing especially in the modern era with uh i i kind of miss old tv yeah uh but with the streaming era and the binging era you miss old tv in what in what way i i really romanticize like i remember being a little kid and like seven o'clock this show came on and the parents and the kids got together and we all watched the same thing. And it was only on that time. So we all shut up and we all watched it. And now it's like my kids are like – they have their iPads. I'm like, can you put this on for me and this on for me? And I'm watching this and we're all kind of separated.

But that being said, what i do like is people nowadays have their shows you know like usually with a couple or maybe a roommate or something like that where it's like every night we're gonna watch three more episodes of this don't watch it without me or if you did this guy it was with sons wasn't it with sons oh yes yes it was you guys went through that experience re-watched explain it because it's it's insane so i i had already seen sons i'd seen it and then i moved in with a guy uh this is years and years and years ago and it was on netflix and he would want to watch it at night so we'd watch probably three episodes at night but he had a real job he didn't talk into a microphone so he'd go to bed at a reasonable hour

but i would get so hooked that i would watch three four more episodes till two in the morning and then i'd go to work the next day. He'd come home. I didn't have the heart to tell him that I had seen it already. So I... You're rewatching me. You're living like seven seasons of a lie.

You're a liar. Can you believe what happened? Yeah. Oh, my God. I didn't see that coming, man. Opie, oh, no. Wow. I never told him.

Nicer things never done. Because there is something when you're watching something with someone and you think you're experiencing something new together. Wow. I never told them. Nicer things never done. Because there is something when you're watching something with someone and you think you're experiencing something new together that if you know they've already seen it and I truly don't mind. I enjoy watching something again and showing it to a person. Yeah. But when you're watching something and you're going through something new together, it adds to the experience.

And I didn't want to. I love Sun so much. I didn't want to take that away from him. So we would sit there on the couch and I'd be like this is nuts and he'd go to bed and i'd watch three four more episodes and i just watched it again the next night dude talk about a show i mean you were the show in general but your character in that like ahead of its time not much like that at all on television really i think yeah uh but worked and people embraced it like i i i'm almost surprised that that role was in that time period.

Yeah, you know, it was an incredible opportunity. And when I was doing Django, when Kurt Sutter, the creator of Sons, reached out and there was a – and I've said this kind of in the press before so forgive me for repeating this but there was a an article that that kurt had uh done with someone and in the article he said the only two people that i could never have on my show are michael chiklis and walton goggins because no one would ever see them as anything but their characters from The Shield. Wow. And someone sent this article to me, and I read it,

and I sent it to him and said, fuck you, man. I was going to say, fuck that. I don't even want to do your show. I would never do your show. The only way I would do it is if I played a transgender. That was your idea? Yeah. Wow, interesting.

And, you know... What was the... Just to be so different? I had the opportunity to... I had auditioned for this movie five or six years, maybe seven years earlier, and I didn't get it, but it was for

A Transition for a Junkie. And getting ready for that audition was such a profound experience for me you know as a person that i i thought man you know if i ever get the opportunity to to to play that you know that i have that life experience uh you know i would i would really like to do it and so he he texted and said, were you serious? And I said, about what? He said, about playing a transgender. And I said, you got the pages?

And he said, yeah. He had already written? Yeah. Oh. Yeah. And he emailed them over, and I read it and said, okay. Like, let's do this. Let's run it back.

This was at a time where, you know, now I would never play that. You should never play that. Transgender would play that role, right? But for its time, I said, okay, we're going to lean into it with our hearts and do this as real as we possibly can. And she's going to be funny and she's going to engender a lot of pathos, hopefully. And it was over the course of that, of making that, and being out, living in Los Angeles and being out. There were many moments, but there was one in Whole Foods

where a transgender woman came up and saw me and just started crying. No way. And just hugging me and said, thank you. Really? Thank you very much for giving a shit. Yeah, well, there was no... I mean, I understand what you're saying, that in the sense of it makes sense that you played that role then,

but also for the way society was, nobody wrote that. Nobody had those characters. They weren't represented at all and never saw it on the screen. So I'm sure that was a big moment for a lot of that community I mean you crushed it that show man I love that show

that show always has a special place in my heart it's a great guy show a lot of people pose it as soap opera for guys and it's kind of that way we're doing gun shootouts in the middle of the fucking neighborhood and ridiculous shit's going on. But it's like, I loved every second of it.

Yeah, man. And The Shield is another one. The Shield, I think The Shield is the most underappreciated show maybe ever. I think if The Shield came out, I think The Shield paid for it. Let's start a campaign for that right now. Dude, I actually. On your. I don't know.

Is it on? What platform is it on you know it was it was it's fx you know being on a on fallouts on amazon amazon so we got i have to say that i think the first two i may be wrong about this forgive me you can call me out if i'm if i'm i'm not lying it's just that i don't know but i think the first two shows that amazon acquired uh and i just remember seeing ads for it and people telling me about it, but was The Shield and Justified. No way. They were like, let's get in bed with the Walton guys.

Those two. I mean, if I'm the CEO, if I'm Bezos, I'm drafting those two shows. That was pretty cool to start their catalog, and i think they started streaming the shield is it uh big time paved the way with you know anti-hero breaking bad tony soprano type stuff and if if any of those had swapped and they paved the way first and then the shield came second or third i think it would be in every conversation for greatest show ever i think i think it often is if people know who they're talking about but it is it was almost before its time. It was ahead of its time. Would you say it was kind of the first prestige TV? I mean, The Sopranos came out right before we did.

The Sopranos was early. But it was The Sopranos. But that was HBO. Oz and Oz was extraordinary. That came out, I think, a couple of years beforehand. So maybe Oz might have been that first kind of serialized experience. But it wasn't that long. And then I don't know if the Sopranos had any idea.

We certainly didn't, that we were going to be some of the first actors to experience the nuances of a character's journey over 84 hours. That hadn't been done before. Years and years. Right. That hadn't been done before. Years and years. Yeah, that hadn't been done before. Ever. It was a procedural.

Yeah, a procedural. That's very different than what these shows were. I think your guy's era was kind of what shifted. Movies were the big deal, and TV was kind of second rate. And then it was like, no, because you get 84 hours of these guys. They become a part of your life. Yeah, that

serialized experience was cool. I don't think it's cool anywhere. Great character, man. That was... Thank you, man. That show's intense, too. We've thrown out so many iconic things here. And we actually had Jeremy Allen White on recently and i

was asking him jeremy yeah irons uh jeremy allen white jeremy allen white fucking wonderful actor the man really really great guy but i had asked him and i imagine you're gonna give me a similar answer but like does he consider himself a comedic actor because he'd been nominated for for comedy do you have a lane you consider yourself because you're so versatile and so in everything do you just think of yourself i'm an actor and i'll play any role but you you know you mentioned working with quentin tarantino so often obviously danny mcbride uncle billy like there's there's so much you do is there something that you think that's really what i'm born to do? That genre, that style? Is this 60 Minutes?

That's a deep question. Hey, man, I love it. I love it. Are you funny or are you not? I appreciate it. I tell you, I don't know the answer to your question in the sense that I genuinely don't look at... I think dramas are funny and i think uh comedies are dramatic you know and so i i but i do think i was talking to a reporter right before we came here and uh and i and he said what

is a through line would you say through the things that you've been given an opportunity to do that's a good question for you well but but it speaks to your question which is so kind thank you very much but i i think there is a that there is a an opportunity to to make people laugh and make people cry simultaneously and more often than not the the dramas that i've been a part of or the comedies that i've been a part of uh the people that i've been given the opportunity to play are often coming from a deep place of pain. And, uh,

and there has, uh, I've been given the opportunity to generate pathos and empathy for people that you wouldn't otherwise kind of empathize with and see it from their point of view, you know? And so do you go into it thinking that that's a, that's like a heavy heavy responsibility if you consider,

if that's your approach to it. Like, I have to make people feel... I don't think I have to do that. I don't think it's a result because, you know, you care about them, right? But I bet a lot of people don't care about them. I bet a lot. I would imagine you seem like a pretty,

like an empath who does care. I'm sure there are people who are like, I'm just here to act. Oh, you mean other. Yeah. Maybe. Yeah. Maybe. So, yeah, for me, I.

Probably not as good as Wollongong. Come on. Y'all making me. Come on now. KFC. Where's some of the mashed potatoes? Who has a wing around here? Do you.

You said something interesting there where you find drama and comedy and comedy and drama and it reminded me of a line uh that um rob mcclain he has said once where he had said that he found i think it was when he's writing mythic quest where he found writing dramatic stuff easier yeah because then he does writing always sunny yeah and he said because i know what makes you sad i know what makes everybody sad yeah i don't know what can make you laugh wow and do you ever feel that when you're on set in those different it is different well you know i i'd love to hear what you know danny has to say about that i i can't i can't speak for him. He has his finger on the pulse of funny as well, or maybe his fucking hand on the throat of funny as well as anyone, I think.

He makes me laugh. So I think the recipe for any of this is you can't control other people's reaction to whatever it is that you are doing. The only thing that you can control is your own and i i don't i don't i don't say a line because i think it's going to be funny it's just the way that that this person baby billy would would say this line and and he could say it you know a million different ways i don't know the answer to that question it makes me laugh you know on the other side of it.

And if that's, you know, kind of a litmus test, you know, then, then, okay, I'll go with that. It's not, it's never result oriented. I've never been a part of anything where I've, I've put the result more higher than the process. You know, it's the process that, and doing everything. I mean, in conducting an interview, right? I mean, is it like, are you excited to get home and watch the conversation that you had? Are you excited to have the conversation with someone? You know, the result is irrelevant to me. That's a great point.

Yeah. That must be a tough place to get to, to get to that. I mean, also, you are, brother, you kind of, I mean, you're in the right and the wrong industry for that, though, because it's a very results-driven industry in a sense. You know what I mean? Like, there are. In what way? In what way? Maybe like for.

In terms of, like, if you're just focusing on what you do and your experience, but the ratings aren't there or the audience isn't responding or your castmate's not responding or whatever. Right. There is a lot more to think about than just, know your experience there is a business yeah absolutely but but you know i mean i i i had a my own show on network television and and it's something that was so deeply personal to me it's called the unicorn yeah and and i would and i fucking loved it that hit home for me man i was i was in the same exact uh spot when that came out living that living that and and you know what and a lot of people yeah uh were living that and the the the person that wade the felton uh was was based on our on on one of our producers and uh and it's a very under uh represented i don't know what the right

word is but like it's not something that gets a lot of sympathy or attention or yeah like like maybe like in in in that in in that context but we're all going through it we all have friends you know that that are are losing spouses or have lost a spouse. And at this particular moment, you know, leading up to that, I had like four or five friends, you know, women that had lost their husbands and husbands that had lost their wives. And this was an opportunity to make a comedy, you know, on CBS about this experience. And they were extremely accommodating to me and and our and our show

runner runners mike and bill and uh and our producers payton payton reed who who who i worked with on ant-man and and and the wasp uh payton was the producer on it and i said listen i'm interested i i'd love to do this i can't do a multi-cam you know if we do it a single a single camera and we uh we never write a joke and know if we do it a single camera and we never write a joke and we just kind of come from the heart and we'll make them laugh and then when they least expect it they're going to be crying their eyes out

at a half hour comedy on CBS and they said okay sure yeah you can do that yeah let's do that and we did, man. And the numbers are, God, I suppose you can kind of go back and forth in your mind

and justify or validate whatever the fuck numbers mean. That's for somebody else, man. What I know is that, again, like the experience with that woman in Whole Foods, I had, I'm going to say, 25 fucking people from a hike on Runyon Canyon to a dude picking me up from LAX stop and pull over and say, I lost my wife, and I have two young sons, and I don't know what to do, and I feel like I can talk to you about it.

And I said, you can, man. I got to be, I got to see my son, you know, but I've got like 20 minutes, man. Like, let's talk. What the fuck is going on? And, and that's when we're all in it. We're all going through it. And so that was a, it wasn't result oriented and it, and it didn't get picked up. It should have.

Right. And, uh, and it didn't. And you know what? One door closes another one opens it is it is what it is that's life right and but if you keep if you keep having the conversations uh the intimate conversations than you do that you do with the guests that are on and you open them up the way that you've opened me up you've been doing this for a very long time who knows what happens kind of after this with your next fucking interview just live your life with purpose man

that's what I think Rick Rubin and he said a quote that I love he said that when you start thinking about the numbers you're not participating in art anymore you're not participating in commerce that's a great line too

that's a great excuse for me to not look at the numbers Rick Rubin told me that. I'm not doing the art anymore. It's more about the process and the characters and all that, where it's more, like you said, from the heart. I think you very much embody that. I think it's very clear when you talk to you. One show I feel like that never got its due or its proper run.

I thought Vice Principals was so fucking funny, man. Walton Goggins shows that never get their due. Hey, man. That felt like it should have been like a 10. Well, here's the thing. I agree with you. Look, I think Danny McBride is arguably one of the most interesting storytellers in the last 15 years. I mean, look at what he's done. And just like if you closed your eyes and you listened to people in a room and you heard the volume of fucking laughter.

The three worlds that he's created, just in television alone. I just think he's one of the best out there. And I'm very fortunate to consider him and to be considered, you know, he's a very good dear friend of mine. But Vice Principals was only ever meant to be two seasons. Oh, was it? It was only a fall semester and a spring semester.

Okay. And it was based on a film that – Why was that, though? Did you guys not – like you just wanted to keep it – I think that's what he wanted to do. That's what he wanted to do. Because that – I mean – Yeah.

I expected that to go on forever. Yeah. You know, and maybe there's a – I mean, you know, we've had those conversations. You know, is there another – Yeah. Another semester? You know, kind of what that would look like. And I know he has it in his head a little bit.

It would have to be something radically different from that experience. But I would love to know what Neil Gamby and Lee Russell are doing now. Yeah. Incredible. Speaking of comedies, when you did – I'm sure you've been asked this So I apologize But when you did Misbehavin' Did you know? Like were you

Were you like This is gonna be a smash hit? Well you know Again I wasn't I don't think about it In those terms And to be quite honest with you Danny knew that I was a clogger

You know And then I kind of Raised that way You know And so I think maybe that was a part of it but I'm not a singer but I've got three or four

hits on Apple Music but I got a house that I'm working big hits on Apple Music but I was so intimidated by the process and Jennifer Nettles who plays Amy Lee.

One of the all-time great voices. Yeah. I mean, Rich Verlaine. One of the college. Yeah, mate. Yeah. It's like butter. And I'm like, oh, God, here we go.

But we got into the studio the first time, and Danny was sitting out there, and it's like, man, why are you fucking here? Like, honestly, why don't you just just leave i'm intimidated enough man it's like it's okay man it's okay uh but uh but we we did it and uh and i just thought you know i'm just gonna come from the heart and and do the best i can you know and sing sing my song and and it was uh i think that the the worst compliment i've ever been given uh was by joey or somebody i think it was joey like uh and he said uh he said you know what's great about you your voice is good enough to believe that no that for everyone to believe that you would never make

it as a singer I mean, so the list goes on and on, but Fallout is one of those worlds. Do you guys play? Are you gamers? I'm not a gamer I am a so I grew up a video game nut stopped and recently like within the last couple years

have re started really and it is like the only thing I really genuinely enjoy doing you know

outside like hanging out with my kids and shit like personally for me yeah I love gaming and

is it an escape for you is it a way to relax and like hours just like melt off I'll be like oh my god I was just playing for you? Is it a way to relax? Big time. And hours just melt off. I'll be like, oh my god, I was just playing for five hours. It's three in the morning. What just happened? Time travel.

But when I... So I have the... I'm lucky in that I have a whole... I have two decades of games that are new to me. So I'm always saying, hey, what should I play? And Fallout was at the top of like every list and so i just dove i just dove into that and i can understand why it has a whole universe around it and why it's such a uh you know it's it's not cult classic because it's so big but there's a cult following you know where you it's been around it's been around for i mean it's it is but there's a cult following you know it's been around for it is kind of that first

immersive gaming experience and it's one of the biggest games in the world and look if we were doing an adaptation of Donkey Kong Donkey Kong on Amazon Walton Goggins

I would have some context for it but no I'm not my gaming days have been gone for a really long time on the other side of Galaga but my son is a big Bethesda fan

and he plays Elder Scrolls. Yep. And so I talked to him about it. But I wasn't – I knew about the game. Everybody kind of knows about the game if you're talking with just anyone, even his crew. But I didn't really know the story, and I didn't know what it was about and when this opportunity you know came came my way and this long conversation that I had with uh Jonathan Jonah Jonathan Nolan and Geneva and Graham Wagner are writers um that you know they asked that question and I thought no you know I you know I don't I've never played it and I don't think I'm going to if that's okay I

really don't want to know anything about this game because I do believe that there needs to be somebody at the table that is isn't influenced by the need to honor certain aspects of this story ongoing there needs to be another kind of voice in that conversation because there were enough people there who was going to get that right. And Jonah's a big player, and Graham Wagner's a huge player of the game. And I just wanted to keep us honest, as honest as we possibly can, about what's happening to these people. And it's a – you know, I love it. I've seen three episodes now and it was uh an epic

undertaking like if you read it on the page you're like how the fuck are they are we gonna pull this off dude what does he have in his mind to life yeah but it's not a fan base that wants everything to be perfectly right yeah but it's not you know it's not it's not a retelling of a season or you know of of the game fallout it's its own story within the fallout universe and um and it's this kind of subversive absurd satirical uh comedic tone to it that is a part of the game. It's inherent in the game. We're not reinventing the wheel. That's in the game, built into the DNA of it.

But I've never seen a world like this and use comedy, use humor the way that we're using it on Fallout. Mind you, there are real consequences in this show. And as the story evolves over time, when it lands emotionally, it really lands. But there's an accessibility through humor that was such a fucking joy to be a part of. And they really struck a nice balance between, I think, what the fans are expecting and people that aren't familiar with the game. I think that's smart of you to kind of keep the whole crew grounded.

Because you can sometimes dive a little too into fan service. Especially video games. Video games are a video game. It's not a TV show, so not everything that fits a video game that's fun or good in a video game is good in a TV show or a movie. That's why it's an adaptation. It's not an exact...

So you need somebody to be like, well, I know the fans love that level of the game, but that's not going to be somebody to be like well i know the fans love like that level of the game but that's not going to be a good television show because of xyz or whatever so having that balance i think is and and i think it's a good it's a hard thing if you look at the very hard thing you look at the history uh actually we were just running down the list because we were talking about fallout the other day the list of more so movies than tv but the list of video games that are tried to turn into entertainment. And a lot of them are box office successful, and then a lot of them are just bombs in general.

It's not an easy thing to do, and it sounds like everything I've heard and seen is that this is done right. Well, you know, having had this conversation with with with several people recently myself and i i i've i did uh tomb raider um uh for mgm and uh and we were you know down and we filmed it in south africa that was the the second recent yeah yeah The recent one. Yeah, the recent one. And it's wonderful. It's a wonderful movie. And the reviews were great. We did really, really well. We never talked about it being a video game adaptation ever.

You just made a movie. It was just about the experience of these people and living their truth and and i every movie that every adaptation that has gotten it right or or halfway right or a quarter of the way right or has succeeded or failed i i think what these filmmakers and these actors have been doing is just establishing one beachhead after another how do we interpret something like this? This has never really happened before, right? In the sense that, I'm just trying to think of Super Mario Brothers or whatever we played as kids, right?

Whatever those games were, Pitfall, whatever that was on Atari, they became rides at Universal Studios, right? They weren't really making movies about them kind of early on and now the games themselves are dictating the movies that are being made about them some of the games

the newest games are almost at the point where they're movies and TV shows themselves they are and then there's the ones that are like it's great to bring them At the point where they're movies and TV shows themselves. They are. The cinematic cut scenes and the storytelling. Yeah. And then there's the ones that are like, you know, it's great to bring them to the small screen in a sense. And like Fallout's the one.

It's a perfect, like it's its own story. It's its own, you know, it's not just taking a character and now we have to make a movie. It's like it's got this script and then you turn it into, you know, its own piece of entertainment. And what's, you know, it's again, into the DNA of these games. It's like who's telling the best stories regardless of whether they're making a movie out of them or not. I mean the stories are extremely compelling. The people who make video games, I think we always know the best actors, writers, producers, and directors. You know all their names all the time.

And these guys over in the video game world are putting out products that sell hundreds of millions of dollars in the first day. You know what I mean? Absolutely. In terms of culture, it's video games. It's a little more – it's not as uh you know respected i guess i don't know but these guys are making you know world they're building worlds my son is my son is playing a game right now uh i i don't even know if i should say the name of it uh with fallout but but he is playing this game and and we have long conversations about it and his experience

of playing it is really more because there's so much space in between the action it's just about the story in between and it happens to be about a subject matter he's very interested in and it's really kind of that's one sector

where all of this is headed for him it's a That's one sector where all of this is headed. For him, it's like a 15-hour movie, a 20-hour movie, however long it takes him to get to the end of wherever it is that he's going. what we were so excited about honoring this particular property, Fallout, with a new version, a version that feels very, very, very familiar to everybody who's played the game, but it's something in and of itself. And then it explores the chasm between the haves and the have-nots in a post-apocalyptic world and it's uh it is it is epic in scope and and and so much so much of the locations were

no it really is they're they're practical we shot in namibia and we shot in uh and utah so a lot of these things were not you know we're not green screens it doesn't green. It doesn't feel that there's a tactile feeling to everything that you're watching. Do you, do you prefer being on location to green screen? Obviously. But do you, do you,

how much do you feel like it's taken away? I think any, I think any actor would, I mean, I, you know, there's, there's a place for everything and convenience more than anything else.

And being able to pull off, you know, things that, that are, uh, incapable of being photographed any other way right so so thank god for that technology but given the opportunity you want to be there you find it easier to be in the character i think there's a different feeling well i guess this is more this is not this is uh practical effects i guess guess, wherever. This is awesome. Hey, that's pretty cool.

That is. I actually cut my nose off. I have a real issue with that. I don't know what. I think it's because I chewed tobacco for so long that I have a real issue with holes in faces.

Okay. I know. It does not. You are the ghoul? I've seen you in cigarette packs in other countries, man. Dude, I'm so sorry. But I still want this yellow American spirit. Oh my god.

You got a half hour. I need this glass of wine to bring it back to our cocktail in Paris. There really is only one word for this and it is ghoulish you are ghoulish in this yeah you know and you and but it's can you explain though by the way because i saw another another headline where was it it was like walton goggins this was uh earlier this year walton goggins fallout role is more interesting than it may seem and this article made it sound like at first you maybe had a smaller role, fans thought you had a smaller role

and it's way more substantial than expected? I think people were defining the ghoul based on the ghoul in the game and so you have to play the game to really understand it.

But it was always who it was. It was never anything smaller than that. It was the writers that were writing about it thinking, oh, well, the ghoul, they're not really able to talk. They're rabid fucking animals. Walton Goggins is going to be salivating and trying to kill people the whole time. Yeah, that's not worth his day rate now he uh no and he's you know it it it takes place 200 years after uh the nuclear fallout right and and this particular guy the ghoul has been around for 200 years and seen the worst that humanity has to offer and and is our bridge

and our view into what the world was like before the bombs were dropped because he was there you know he lived in that life and he he had a name his name was cooper howard i can't really tell you too much about him. But it's fascinating. To play the same guy in two very vastly different realities. It's good.

I think people are really going to like it. I hope so. Are you prepared for the Comic-Con type fan bases? Because they go wild. When this game comes out and you're doing press and out in the streets, I mean, they're going to be – there's a whole – I feel like you could be as successful as you can be

when you start to dive into video game world. Yeah. It's a different ballgame. You ready for it? I'm ready. You ready? Bring it on i'm so ready i'm getting an apartment in every city in america i've ever seen the world

mumbai here we come yeah but was there uh as like the audition process goes you know not being a gamer or was there any thought to like I want to do a video game? What attracted you to the role? Was it the fact that Fallout has this success as a game? Jonathan Nolan. Jonathan. I've been a fan of his for such a long time. Obviously, he and his brother.

But the first time I saw Memento, I was like, who the fuck wrote this? What is this? What is this? It's crazy. It's bananas. Lock those guys up. I wanted to lose my memory. I went home and was like, I want to write

a bunch of stuff on my arms. Get some cool tattoos. Oh man, make some eggs. Why am I making these eggs? I've been a fan of his for such a long time and it was him. And then Geneva, who's a friend of mine and an incredible writer, and being such a big fan of Graham Wagner's, who did Baskets and The Office. He's in Portlandia.

He's an extraordinary writer. So it was really that group of people that it wasn't necessarily it was a video game it wasn't that it was a video game I'm not I just go where the best stories are

and it just so happens that this was the best story that I've read in a long time any of those roles did you not think were going to be good? Were any of those a surprise to you? Or when you picked all those roles, Justified, Sons,

were you like, these are good, this is going to be good? I guess you never know. Were you surprised by any of them being like, whoa, this one became a smash hit, this became a cult classic, whatever? I think I'm surprised really by any of them being like, whoa, this one became a smash hit. This became a cult classic. You know, whatever. I think I'm surprised really by all of them, you know, like because it's – what is it? You just keep walking with your head down and eventually you'll look up and you'll realize that you've reached a place in your life where there's a view that you never anticipated ever seeing the world from.

You are one poetic motherfucker. You dropped several lines. You're spitting bars. It's true. The Shield, no one thought... We didn't think it was going to get picked up and it wasn't going to. We were airing... We filmed it before 9-11 and

the idea of vilifying police officers after 9-11 was taboo right and and you know fx at the time it was between us and a show uh with jason priestly a pilot that they had and and they i think wisely said no this is the time to ask the question, what are we willing to accept in the name of our own security, right? And so no one knew about that. Chicky didn't know about that. We thought we would get, okay, we got picked up. Oh, my God, it was one season. Oh, my God, Michael won the fucking Emmy

and then the Golden Globe for Best Show. No one knew that. The same with everything. What's interesting is like, I mean, let me, I wrote down all like the, I'm just going to look at the list you have. You just, you saying a part of made me think, is there anything you really wanted that you didn't end up being a part of? You've done such a good job selecting everything. Was there one where they missed on not selecting you? What a cool, What a cool question.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. There were some movies that I didn't get that I wish I had gotten them. Just because I wanted to work with those people. I would really have to think about it. Part of me doesn't want to say. The transgender woman that led you to Venus Van Damme. So joining something like Fallout that already has an established culture and then White Lotus,

you know what White Lotus is going to be. But at the time of Shield, Justified, Sons, even Righteous Gemstones kind of, a lot of those are not like risks, but you had no telling whether they were going to be picked up. No, but we know that Rough House Pictures has a following. Yeah. And then people are going to show up to see what Danny's doing. So there was an idea that yeah okay vice principals is going to be very cool it's the next thing that those guys are doing the same with the

righteous gemstones and then it just happened to become like a like a like a thing you know uh and yeah mike white is now an institution but you know steve zahn is a very dear friend of mine and you know when he did season one and everybody else con Connie, even Mike, who I've been a fan of his like a lot of people since Enlightened. I mean, as an actor who knew that he was going to come at this place in his life where I mean the things that are a part of all of our nature and things that we're not proud of, you know, but we can't fucking look away from. He is operating on a whole other level. And, yeah, so now it's an institution. And Fallout had a, you know, it had a pretty good pedigree. So one thinks that – but you never know.

It's all in the execution, right? And that I can say. We have really executed it. I'm really proud of it. And so I hope people enjoy the work that we put into it. I think they will. Were you allowed to sit on set? I know Christopher doesn't allow it.

It took the process of becoming the ghoul. God, the hour. Yeah, it was so intense. How do you do the notes? What do you do? You just build out your face all the way out so that it looks like there's no... No, no, no, no.

For that in particular, it's the only thing where they put these little tracking dots on your nose. Oh, that is, okay. Right, and then they can take it out. Did you think they just built his face out? Yeah. How would they do that?

Makeup and shit. It's straight coming out of here. Yeah. And then one cavern for an artist. They just replicated his face on top of his face. Yeah, just like move it out and there's a hole.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, it'll be out Amazon April 12th Amazon April 12th Which also Amazon is a juggernaut in its own right Everything is coming together Yeah it's good company And last question where did you get those boots

You know Those are nice boots These are the real deal These are red wings Yeah they are I uh i i picked up when i was trying to impress this gal almost 27 years ago those got three decades on them miles on them walked in a lot of different places man those boots tell a story a long time. Yeah, but keep it quiet. I don't want you to tell most of the stories.

Those must be broken in. What a joy. Thank you so much. You are exactly who I thought you were going to be and I couldn't mean that in a more complimentary sense. Agreed.

Thank you. I can't remember the last time. When they say don't meet your heroes. I feel like we've been friends for a long time. The only thing missing and what we have to add to the mix the next time is a great cocktail.

Yes. I can't wait to come back. I'm always afraid to say this because the last thing me and he and I need is another celebrity podcast. You'd be great at this. Let's do it. You got story. If you want to join the show as a third mic, we can do it. After you're done with White Lotus and Fallout, come do KSU Radio.

Thank you so much, Paul. Thank you. សូវាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប� Thank you.