KFC Radio - The Worst Episode of KFC Radio Ever Ft. Kelly Keegs, Kirk Minihane, and Steven Anthony Lawrence

Episode Date: July 20, 2023

Timecodes: 0:00 Start 00:35 Barbie is NOT about imperialism 03:05 Hitler Segment 11:03 Chiropractor segment 28:08 Random Topic Generator 34:24 Prank Calls 37:40 Mission Impossible 46:14 Calling Kelly Keegs and Kirk Minihane 01:01:29 Calling Taylor Kitsch 01:07:49 Sushi Heinz commercial: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NSwNT3yXOcU 01:12:56 Video Voicemails 01:34:02 Calling KFC 01:41:27 Owen's cameo from Beans ++++++++++++++++++ Zbiotic Go to https://zbiotics.com/KFC to get 15% off your first order when you use KFC at checkout. Body Armor: Buy BodyArmor Now on Amazon! SimpliSafe: Visit https://www.SIMPLISAFE.com/KFCRADIO for 20% off any SimpliSafe system when you sign up for Fast Protect Monitoring. Cometeer: Go to https://cometeer.com/KFC to get a free 8-pack and a travel mug when you sign up. BetterHelp: This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Visit https://betterhelp.com/KFC to get 10% off your first month. Factor: Head to https://barstool.link/FactorKFC50 and use code kfc50 to get 50% off.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. I'm just still trying to record this podcast. Get the f*** out of here. We need like 15 more minutes, dude. Get the f*** out of here. It's 5 o'clock, y'all. I know, Kevin. It's so hard. Ready?

Let's clap. Action, yeah. Okay. It's KFC Radio. What does he say? It's KFC Radio on the Barstool Sports Network podcast. It's KFC Radio on the Barstool Sports Network. That was the best I could do.

We're going to do a quick episode today because I don't know anything. I don't know how to talk anything other than bullet points. This is going to be weird. For starters, Barbie is not about the Iraq War. Something I learned recently. I was also fooled. Bro, here's the fucking deal with them. They do it with the regular movies.

Like, they did it really with Oppenheimer. Yeah. And I read about the, you know, there's like all this talk about what a brilliant script it is and how genius it is. And it's not out of the realm of possibility that a bunch of people in Hollywood There's all this talk about what a brilliant script it is and how genius it is. And it's not out of the realm of possibility that a bunch of people in Hollywood would read a script about criticisms of the Iraq War with an overlay of Barbie and Mattel and be like, this is the most brilliant fucking shit I've ever seen in my life.

And I was like, huh, that's not what I thought it was going to be about. But it also made – that's the genius of their thing is that like commentary on American imperialism makes sense for Barbie. It is – it was – it would have been dumber if I was like I fucking knew it. At least I was like, whoa, this is crazy. I saw your tweet and I was like, that's shocking. And I started laughing to myself. And there's three of my friends that, like, are off of Twitter that are walking around right now, like, fully convinced. Like, ready to walk in a Barbie, like, waiting for some comments on the war. Dude, Kevin's not here today. It's Keegan's birthday and shit like that.

And I was texting him. Luckily, it was Keegan's birthday, so he was busy. But I texted him that tweet and was like, dude, I cannot wait for you to hate this movie. And I took a shower. So there was like a 10-minute window where I could have brought Kevin down with me like I always do. And luckily, by the time I got out of the shower, my head had cleared. And I just texted him, like, it's coming to my attention that these might not be real views. And I went to his Twitter.

I was like, fuck, did I fuck him over too? Luckily I didn't. But the, I don't know, man. Barbie's not about the Iraq War. For all of you who were concerned, I was very concerned. It's not about the Iraq War. But one, I watched the Glorious Bastards last night. Two, while we're talking war, let's talk the big one.

Let's talk World War II. This is going to be the stupidest podcast ever. Dude, I forgot. I was watching Glorious Bastards last night, and Hitler's a pretty focal point of that, if you haven't seen it. And I forgot, I think, to just talk about when I was in Amsterdam,

I went to their Museum of Modern Art. I actually tweeted a picture from there because it was straight out of Sunny. Like there was just an electric box in the middle of the room. And I was like, I don't know if this is art or if this is an electrical box. As I sit here right now, I still don't know the answer to that. I went late May, june um so you're gonna do a little scrolling here um but the uh i think i think the tweet if you want to try and find actually wait what's it yeah you're right scroll back a little more like it's just in the

middle of the room that's all right that's all right yeah that's just literally sunny where it's like it's an air conditioner it's just a lot of electrical thing whatever the point of all this is an interesting part of scrolling through the museum of modern art is it's done very uh era wise like it's you know the fourth the second floor is more modern modern art it's actually interesting that like the museum of modern art it has sections where the art was modern in its time which is theoretically all art was modern art in its time but it was like here's the 1940s modern art and i was like well that's just i think we just call that art now um but there was a section go so you're going through it and you realize that in every era, the art was pretty – had a lot of commentary about, much like the Iraq War, about like what was going on in the world. And as you move through the eras, you realize like it's almost like disasters.

You can compartmentalize them like time capsules, and you realize how much better life gets and has gotten. Like the 1940s modern art was like, it was in Amsterdam, so it was pretty European-based, but it was like artists fleeing Nazis. And one was fucking so sick dude one was this artist called max breckman breckman breckman and he so there was when hitler i think it was 1937 39 something like that hitler had something called the degenerate art exhibit and it was arts and pieces of art that he considered

made by degenerates i don't know how much you know about hitler hitler not a fan of degenerates liked him a little more than jews but not a ton more than jews and so if you were on display at the Degenerate Art Exhibition, not a good thing. He sent out, like, invitations to all the artists. Max Breckman rolls up with his wife like, shit, I got invited to this big art show. I'm in the show. This is crazy. This is awesome gets there sees the big sign degenerate art exhibition and is like oh boy this isn't the art exhibition i want to be at flees the country

grabs his wife flees the country which you gotta give it up for hitler that's a gangster way to let someone know you're gonna kill them is you put on an art show and hang their art and let them know that they are not long for this world he not a good guy by any stretch of the imagination that is some inventive i'm gonna kill your ass way and gotta give him credit i just as we do in every kfc radio episode i just gotta tip my cap to hitler real quick like that's that's dope that's fucking cool shit to invite someone to an art exhibition to let them know they're in big trouble um but anyway max breckman grabs his wife flees germany and then continues painting, obviously.

And the piece that was on display that day was, it's him and his wife in what you would call traveling clothes, which nowadays is like fucking Lululemons. But back then, very fancy clothes. He had a bowler cap very nice his wife had a big overcoat little bonnet everyone looked good but what he would do to motherfuck the nazis is in his bowler cap he would write where he was when he painted the picture and then put it on display so they were chasing him around all europe as he was fleeing and just flashing like here i am

you miss me motherfuckers and then he'd hang that painting up somewhere and that's i'm not gonna say more gangster than inviting someone to an art exhibition let them know you're gonna kill them but it's it's pretty comparable anyway you continue to go through the art exhibitions and shit like that and and you finally get to, like, the actual modern art at the modern art museum. It's not as good. Dude, in the modern art museum, first of all, that electrical box was one thing. Not great. that I remember very clearly was in, it was like a, an outfit that like a fucking, I don't know, a mechanic would wear where it's like,

you know, like that onesie kind of deal, but it's just got an Uber patch on it and it's in a cage. And I guess they're saying that Uber drivers are prisoners. And I just – I don't think that really compares to, like, fleeing the degenerate art exhibition and letting Hitler know where you are and staying on the run. They don't really compare to me. They were fucking – I was this is this is crazy and then you like can extrapolate that like since that art has been made and you think about like the eras of outrage that

and not outrage but like societal outrage that even i've lived through where like when there was the uh man spreading was my favorite one i don't know if you guys. I don't know if you guys remember. I don't know if you're old enough to remember. There was like a two-year window on the internet where manspreading, which is a guy sits like this. This is how most guys sit. Humongous issue on the internet. How wide the people who are traditionally larger with something hanging between their legs that is delicate,

how wide they sit was almost the only thing the internet talked about for roughly two years. Compare that to a guy who got invited to the degenerate art exhibition to let him know he was getting killed. It's not the same. I mean, that's egregious. That is. All right, never mind. They got sent. It is basically like the Holocaust.

All right. That's the end of the episode. Just wanted to get my Max Breckman takeoff real quick. What else we got? Let's see. I went to the chiropractor the other day, and I've been going. Tom, our chiropractor. I should probably ask him if he wants shoutouts or not,

because I don't mind giving him shoutouts, obviously, but he might prefer to be private as many businesses do um but he said the most insulting thing to me i've ever heard i think and it's not insulting and it makes sense but it's still incredibly insulting he was he was kind of stretching me out i got torn hip. We've been working on my torn hip. We're doing all kinds of hip exercises. And he's doing this thing where he kind of got my arm tucked under his – I'm laying on the bench like this.

He's got my leg and he's got my foot hooked under his arm and he's basically just pulling it out. And he's just wiggling it in circles and he's I don't know, whatever, doing what fucking sports medicine chiropractors do. And he's grunting and groaning and he finally just goes, Jesus, you got

a heavy leg. And it's so specific. Like, I know I'm big and fat, but like to be like, head your leg specifically is exceptionally heavy it's like the most insulting thing anyone's ever said like if you if you say you're fat yeah i got it if you're like you got a heavy ass arm i don't know next topic

um what else we got um um now i'm about out covered the iraq war covered the degenerate art exhibition covered i got heavy legs we can get six ads in here um you have to go for at least another hour That's going to be tough Alright just start throwing shit at me

We talked about this last time I don't talk unless I'm prompted I got nothing to say What is If you could Freeze anybody What's your favorite thing about our office You could freeze anybody. What's your favorite thing about our office? I was in the middle of something.

If I could freeze, I'll do both. Okay. Well, you didn't finish. Oh, that was it. If I could freeze anybody? I guess like in, yeah. If you could, I don't really know Oh, that was it. If I could freeze anybody? I guess, like, yeah. I don't really know where I was going with that. If you could freeze anybody and then take them just with you throughout life.

Probably Hitler. The man loves Hitler. He's got pretty badass views on art. My favorite Hitler fact is that he used to get shit on. Like, used to get literally shit on by his niece. I feel like people just say that about everyone famous just to bring down a good man. That's a fact. They say that about the guy who founded what children's hospital too. St. Jude's maybe. They say that he liked guy who founded what children's hospital to St. Jude's.

Maybe they say that he liked to get dumped on. I think I don't know, man. This is going to turn into a pro Hitler episode. But I think that Hitler's catching a lot of strays now. I think I think you can just say the things he did that are factual. And I think that covers enough that he's not a very good guy. I don't think we have to add in he might have got scat porn. This is the issue, scat play.

This is the issue with modern society. Everyone wants their pound of flesh and they got to go outside the realm of reality. I don't think Hitler liked to get shit on. I'll say it. I don't care. It's more fun to say he did though. Is it? I think it makes him more relatable.

Like, if you're like, oh, that guy liked weird shit. All right. I can put myself in his shoes now. If you, that guy's persecuted for his sexual fetish. Like, yeah, I get it, man. We've all been there. That sucks. Now I get why you lost your mind and got really angry all the the time if you just stick to he fucking gassed people i don't think he gets the relatability

what does it say about the art critic i mean he was a failed artist that was his original yeah that's why he didn't like the degenerates. He said these fucking guys could paint. I had a class in high school. It was called Human Nature. And, yeah, the made-up class. And how often Hitler came up was, like, concerning. Like, never in a negative tone. Always in, like, let's learn more about Hitler to the point where I was, convinced this guy definitely fucks with Hitler. He talked about two

things. Hitler and about how we all want to fuck our parents. You know that thing? Yeah. You're going to fuck somebody that looks just like your mom. That was most of the class. It was learning fun facts about Hitler.

Every pop quiz was, did your mom make you horny yet? It's going to happen. It's going to happen. I got an A in the class. You did? I got an A in the class. You were like,

Hitler's great, my mom's hot. Hey. I like the idea of becoming a teacher just to get the validation of children with your weird shit Hitler's kind of dope right

he's just got pictures of his mom all across the classroom I mean you can see it you can see how I would get like that I think Hitler was also I believe he was from what I learned from Brother Gary, that he loved his mom. Bro, what – see? Again, Hitler catches strays.

Like, Hitler was a weirdo who loved his mom. Again, you're making the guy more relatable. He's got some weird sex stuff, loved his mom. I can put myself in Hitler's shoes now. You're going to have to cut out so much dead air in this episode Okay, what do I like about The Office? There's not, like, I don't, like, actively hate it It's not, like, it's not a, it's a, it's a It's bland, so, like, there's nothing

You're not, like, it's vanilla ice cream You're not like this sucks you're like i wish it was better but there's not like uh i wouldn't say there's anything i really hate either if there's one thing you can add what would you add nothing there's it's It's fine. What's one thing I like? I do want to answer these questions. This is fun. What is this? This is a topic generator.

Bro, never mind. This is going to be a five-hour episode. One thing I like about The Office. It would be the people in it. That's a lie. Who's your favorite Barstool employee? Who's my favorite Barstool employee?

Kevin. Least favorite. Least favorite Barstool employee. Good question. Least favorite Barstool employee. I don't know

because I'm such a pussy about this where I'm like, well, they have appeal to other people. I honestly don't know who my'm such a pussy about this where I'm like, well, they have appeal to other people. I honestly don't know who my least favorite employee is. Everybody. Everybody is my favorite and everybody is my least favorite. What Barstow employee is most likely to kill somebody?

Oh, I saw this. What's that? I didn't. Oh, you didn't? Macrodosing had a video the other day where it was, he was the most likely to be a serial killer in the office. Everyone went pretty Francis heavy, as you can imagine. I think that's putting him in a box because of his tone of voice. You want to know something?

You want to know something? That fucking Francis is going to hear this and it's going to really bother him. Whatever. That fucking Francis is going to hear this And it's going to really Bother him Whatever I don't know I don't fucking care anymore The So we had dollar slices The other night It was great

It was actually way better Than I thought it was going to be Make sure you come to the next one When it goes on sale It It sells out way too fast The comics were unbelievable I thought the crowd had some

Times where The funny thing about Barstool fans It sells out way too fast. The comics were unbelievable. I thought the crowd had some times where... The funny thing about Barstool fans is that they, in my experience on social media, they're like very much the, people can't take a joke these days, and fucking, PC culture, cancel culture, cancel culture blah blah blah blah blah and then they go to a comedy show where people are making rather edgy jokes i wouldn't say that was like what the fuck this is crazy here but like at times edgy jokes and you could feel them pull back and it's like what the fuck it's fucking just having such a humor like don't cancel like it was it everyone laughed at everything this isn't like saying that i really don't think the the

laughter was representative of how funny it was maybe i'm wrong i was in the back you said you were in the mix i had a complete different take than you guys after the show you guys thought it was a really good uh the crowd was lacking a little bit i thought the crowd was great but also i saw what you're talking about where really good. The crowd was lacking a little bit. I thought the crowd was great. But also I saw what you're talking about where they kind of like step back a little bit during some... It's like, whoa, they're talking about race. Whoa, what's wrong with this?

Where they were almost afraid to laugh. Which is crazy coming from... And obviously, right, there were 180 people, there were 109 people, there were whatever they were. Zero of them could have ever said, fucking cancel culture, fucking...

People don't have such humor anymore, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Zero of them could have ever said that cancel culture fucking people don't have the humor anymore blah blah blah zero of them could have ever said that i'm broadly generalizing but the again we were in the we were like in the back we weren't in the crowd so we didn't have like the the laughter the crowd maybe as you said you were in it it was constant laughter but i got the sense that people were pulling back and like that's frustrating as someone who has for however long i've been here always read that you know whining about cancel culture like like oh hang on this is edgy i don't know if you can say that you can say fucking anything just laugh at it i say i bring this whole show up that whole show up to say that

during the show i had a barcelona employee come up to me a business employee and whisper to me that they wish they didn't come and i was like why fray was when francis was opening and i was like why and they like, it's just changing my entire perspective, my entire relationship with Francis. And I was like, what are you talking about? And they replied, I just didn't realize he's a really dark racist. And I was like, what the fuck? I got angry. I went over to Kat.

I was like, this is fucking bullshit. How are people supposed to sell comedy comedy they don't fucking understand comedy francis's set not only was not racist it was the opposite it was complete opposite it was the complete opposite all he was doing was making fun of how he was like a privileged white guy who grew up in a very liberal home and like you could you could make the argument francis's set was too liberal yeah and their takeaway was that francis was a racist i was like what the fuck are we doing here how is this ever gonna work if the people who are upstairs think that's racist that was very frustrating for me next topic railroads is next i have something on the topic of comedy shows though so i went to a comedy show for my girlfriend's

Birthday this weekend I took her to the cellar And the show was The lineup was probably 75% People under the LGBT Spectrum And those people

Had a harder time getting laughs Than the people who didn't fall into that category. Like, for example, the host was a trans woman. And she couldn't get a laugh to save the life of her because people were scared to laugh at her making trans jokes. And it was almost like you're scared to laugh at her jokes, but now you're making her job way harder. Like, you know, they're, like, scared to laugh at the trans jokes. But now she's the one having a way more difficult more difficult time right i can say it this is the easy part this is the only good part i get to fucking say it laugh at her jokes it was insane

i was like i didn't i know it's very it's very uncomfortable we actually missed something the other day when we were doing uh we were going through the off the uh the the offices weekend tweets and stuff like that and there was one and i'm gonna take you through the office's weekend tweets and stuff like that. And there was one – and I'm going to take you through the whole thought process here. Maybe we're going to cut this too. Who knows? There was a tweet that did not get brought up in the office roundup tweet discussion. And there's a lot of reasons why it wasn't brought up.

And I was told – I told the person who told me not to bring it up i'm probably just gonna bring it up later but the and i'm bringing it up now because it's a funny ass tweet and all we do here is funny that's all i care about and it's funny castellani had tweet he's talking about uh there was time magazine said that uh that america's love affair with ice cream is is nearing an end castellani quote tweeted it and said, you don't have to look it up. I know by heart. I have a tattoo parlor scheduled coming tomorrow. Castellani said he's probably gotten ice cream three times in the last year. I guess there was some people who, I don't know, whatever, tweeted him enough that Castellani felt the need to reply and defend himself for saying that.

And Castellani said something to the effect of, I like ice cream, you weirdos. I just have self-discipline. I just have discipline. And that's a very funny tweet coming from somebody who was very recently in rehab. just is it just is it's a funny tweet coming from like i just got a little thing called discipline and i understand castellani is

exceptionally open with his uh mental illness and i'm sympathetic to that but guess what I'm also a mentally ill alcoholic so I can fucking make fun of it I get to say it all right I get to fucking say it it's a funny ass next topic this segment is brought to you by z biotics z biotics let's face it after a night with drinks i don't bounce back the next day like i used to sometimes i have to do a podcast i have to make a choice i can either have a great night or a great next day that is until i found z biotics z biotics pre-alcohol probiotic is the world's first genetically engineered probiotic. Genetically. Z-Biotics pre-alcoholic probiotic

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Z-Biotics is backed with 100 money back guarantee so if you're unsatisfied for any reason they'll refund your money no questions asked remember to head to z by x.com slash kfc and use the code kfc at checkout for 15 off thanks to z by x for sponsoring this episode i like this one if you could make a holiday what would it be like what traditions would it have what would people eat on your holiday? Great question. If I could make a holiday, what would it be like? What traditions?

I don't know why I'm repeating it. If I could make any day a holiday, this is very easy. I would make Barstool Sports sales days a holiday. Any day there's a store in the Barstool Sports store, it's a sale in the Barstool Sports store, it's a national holiday. Because we now get 50 national holidays. The traditions would be

20% off in the Barstool Sports store. People would eat pizza on my holiday. And they would wear all kinds of merch. August 1st there's gonna be a sale on the barcelona sports store it's because things are going great so go buy a bunch of shit next topic i think that tax day gaslight everybody into thinking that's fun make it a holiday get some colors going get some snacks or like some, you know, pizzazz to it.

You gaslight everyone into thinking that taxes are fun. Make it a huge party day. Everyone loves doing taxes. I understand your logic. It makes sense to me. I think you'll be really hard to gaslight me into thinking math is fun. I think you're – it's an uphill battle. I – you want to know how bad I am at taxes?

But like giving away all your money to Christmas presents, like that's not fun. But it's just like giving it all away to the government. But the joy you see from that is fun. You don't see – I am actually pro-tax. Then maybe we do videos of the government being like, oh, more money. Okay, now we're on to something. Now I'm varying on that. Yeah.

Because I'm – it's a bold stance in this world. I'm pro-tax. I have no problem paying my taxes i wish it was utilized better but i understand and agree with all of the logic of paying taxes uh however i i'm so bad at it that i think even a holiday isn't gonna to save me. I'm currently avoiding my accountant like she's a bill collector. She's trying to give me money. But I have to get paper for her. And I'm ignoring her calls.

And this has been going on for months. Because I already know I'm late. So I already know I fucked late. So I already know I fucked up. So I'm just – I've paid. She's just trying to give me the good part of paying your taxes, and I've avoided her since April. What month is it now? Almost into July?

Almost into July. I won't return her calls. So it doesn't really fucking matter if you make it a holiday. There's going to be issues with me with taxes. Next topic. I'll lay this one out for you. If you could meet anyone in history, who would it be? Bobby Hull.

Not Hitler. We just reminisce about Hitler. If I could meet anyone in history, Bobby Hull. Bobby Hull. He's a big Hitler guy. Oh, that's a hockey guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The, uh,

if I could meet anyone in history, I don't know. I guess it would be, it'd probably be just a regular-ass person who's dead. Like, I, right,

at that point, does it really matter? Right, if you can meet anyone in history does it matter if they were a great person or not because you're talking to somebody who died i got enough there to go on yeah i'm not even gonna have too many questions to be honest i'm like what was it like and there you go sucked i knew it and then that's it alright I'll catch you later man the

yeah once you're talking to someone once you're talking to someone who's come back from the dead the gap is really small between president and fucking milkman you come back from the dead we got something to talk about.

So I guess I guess I would go with a T-Bird auto mechanic. Okay. Yeah. I have no reason for that. I don't know why i thought of the t-bird but i did

next topic um i feel like people are probably getting close to sickness so we'll move on after this one will technology save the human race or destroy it fucking neither the technology will do exactly what every piece of technology everyone's ever feared did mildly change things and then we just go back to arguing it's not gonna do either people we got worked up about every we talked i mean you can apply it to everything you talked about it with fucking uh the what do they call them the fucking gang gang gang, gang, gang. This is weird. Yeah, everything kids ever did, people thought was weird.

Every new technology ever, people thought was going to be the end of the world. What we need, my big issue with new technologies, we just got to stop making technology movies. So people who have dumb arguments can stop saying things like, haven't you seen Terminator? Once we take that out of their hands, they got nothing. So stop making apocalyptic technology movies. Then every new technology could be good.

Everyone's just seeing the benefits of it. They're seeing a cute little dog at Boston Dynamics. They go, that's a cute little dog. They're not going, haven't you seen the Terminator? You're going to attack us all and kill us. Just don't tell us about that part. What's our next segment? Let's prank call.

Prank call? People in the office. I like that. Why are you looking at me like that's dumb? Well, because you're going to have to do it. No, I'm not going to do it. I'm not a prank caller. Not that I'm a – I, in my friend group, I was the guy who just laughed. And I was the guy in prank calls who ruined the prank call because I was laughing too hard in the corner and everyone would hear it.

But – I feel like you'd be good at prank calls. You could do this. No, I'm not. I'm really not. I – it's just be good at prank calls. You could do this. No, I'm not. I'm really not. I, I, I, I just not something I ever did. I, I, I, I enjoyed being the observer more than the, the car itself. I had a buddy who would prank call.

This is the meanest shit of all time. His grandmother, she lived on fucking not Ellsbury street. Where was it? I don't know why it matters, but whatever. Lives on Ellsbury street across from Durfee High School. She had a two-decker ranch house. He knew that the only phone was in the kitchen downstairs. But he knew she only watched TV in her bedroom upstairs.

And he would just call to make her go get the phone. And then would just berate her. Like, not like jerky voice style, not like in a regular voice. Like, you goddamn asshole. But she'd be like, I mean, every prank called any old person ever. They'd be like, what? And put the image of her having to come downstairs to get the phone and then get yelled at by a stranger and then hoof it back upstairs only for the phone to ring again in five minutes and it being that same stranger

for for fucking hours on end we should be in jail we should be in jail it was funny um but i yeah it was never it never i didn't have the bug all right well then that's the end of that segment new segment time um okay i guess let's be done no no we have so many more ads that we need to fit in that segment was brought to you by body armor body armor is the official hydration partner of kfc radio we hydrate with Body Armor and ride with Team Body Armor. We have been drinking Body Armor from the beginning because they have the best products, best flavor, best ingredients, best athlete partners. There's Body Armor sports drinks and sport water all over this office.

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you are you're just in your head um can i say a quick um i watched mr impossible oh yeah i meant to ask you if you liked it um i think that the whole thing could have been avoided if they just had zippers on their pockets. Like, the entire time, they're just pit pocketing each other. They're putting, like, this key that's apparently the most important thing in the entire world. And they know that there's, like, this world-class pit pocketer around them. And they just put it in their loose pocket every single time. I venture to guess that pickpockets throughout time have beaten the zipper but your yeah but your your

your logic is there where it's like put it in something that's can't be broken into coat pocket is at least better than yeah right i mean sometimes robbers can get in your house but you still lock the door make it a little harder on them and then if you know if you feel somebody like and then just like if you see that girl kind of coming up to you cover your pockets i don't know it was bothering me so much did you like the movie aside from that or did that overwhelm you too much it's just mission possible like isn't my thing i think it is i i said it after i went to see it. I love Mission Impossible. I think they're great. But they're not. The jump from...

I've never seen a single one. Your regular action movie to Mission Impossible isn't as ginormous as cinephiles would lead you to believe. It was really cheesy. It's cheesy. So, I don't think you're a fast... No, you are a fast person. I am a fast person.

You've seen your episodes of a few seasons of fast god damn uh movies are fast but the like it it's all silly because when you break down action movies you can like there aren't all action movies are all action movies there's like five different kind of action movie you can make where it's like war this is gonna be like when michael scott lists the kinds of business war kidnapping apocalypse technology i think like bank heist yeah Yeah. Heist. Yeah. That's about it. Those are the action movies. I'm sure there are other ones,

but they're like, so every, when you bring it down to it's fucking studs, every action movie is the same. There's an issue that is one of those five. And the dialogue leads to three separate action scenes, four separate action scenes. And that's all it serves

the purpose is to get from one to the next but like that's what fast and furious is there i i acknowledge that the acting is better i acknowledge that tom cruise is a better actor than vin diesel but like they're not that dissimilar there – and then even like I was talking to Ken Jack about the other day. Like, well, the practical effects. And I understand that because I saw the new Indiana Jones. And like the whole first half hour is in CG and it's not good. It's like watching the Polar Express. It is like Harrison Ford's The Age, the trains, the cartoon. It's all watching the Polar Express. It is like Harrison Ford's D-Age, the trains, the cartoon.

It's not fun. The last hour and a half is awesome. I really like the last hour and a half of Indiana Jones. But there's a clear difference between practical and CG. But the Fast and Furious does a lot of practical effects too. We just had on fucking Neil Moritz talk about being on the street in rio when they're dragging the safe like they actually did that obviously there are cg effects and it didn't they didn't knock down buildings and shit like that but there are parts of it that they actually

filmed just like tom cruise jumping off the cliff yes he did jump off it but like i don't know the whole cliff is cg'd the landing is is cg'd in a sense that well it's not cg'd it's practical but it didn't happen on that jump i actually think that the the reason the the big that makes it a big deal the practical effects in mission impossible movies just as promo for the movie just for marketing purposes we're like it's that whole thing which we've talked about for two years now at least maybe three years that jump is like four seconds it's not there there's the jump which i will admit you get that pit in your stomach when the scene we've all already seen when you see it in imax and he fucking does like that he starts to free fall you're like oh shit um and that's sick and then

i think there's one more scene of him falling and you can see the wind actually blowing his face back kind of deal and then that's it that's the whole thing we've been talking about that for two years it's awesome and it's great but i think it's i think it serves a larger purpose in marketing than it does in the actual movie i thought the same thing with the halo jump from mi6 7 6 whatever but the the halo jump is awesome but that's also crazy cg'd because he's not actually jumping into a fucking storm so the whole sky cg'd it's not as like practical as i don't know i'm not trying to like because i obviously don't have the knowledge of how this works i have a layman's eye. But to my eye, there's a lot of CG still in a practical shot, so I feel like it almost works more as marketing than it does.

I will say, too, in Maverick, I could tell. Maverick, you saw their faces a lot moving at fucking Mach 10. Next topic. I watched the first episode of The Bear It's so fucking good Do you love it? Yeah, what's wrong with you guys? It's so good I'm glad

See, the issue with it And I feel like it's kind of happening now The storm, the pendulum swinging back Yeah Where Now people are like It sucks It's just in the middle it's i it's quality

it's clearly quality when you watch it it's just not for me and maybe that's boring i don't know but whatever i think i think the fact that you guys said it was bad made me go in and i was like oh no this is really good i think if i went in you don't you don't find it incredibly stressful particularly season one i like stressful though like my oh that no, this is really good. I think if I went in – You don't find it incredibly stressful, particularly season one? I like stressful, though. Oh, that's right. You love Uncut Gems. Of course you love the bear.

That makes perfect sense. I like that constantly on – that's the only thing that keeps my eyes on the screen. I don't know. I like high-stress movies all the time. That's like half-stress the entire time. I didn't even put that together. Of course you didn't like the bear. Jack, what's going on over there? Sorry.

Is it a lighter? You're just flicking a lighter into the microphone? Yeah. On a technical, yeah. But it was because there were, like, little sparks, and then whenever I'd flick it, it, like, the spark would go. Sorry.

I'm cutting this all up, but the spark would, like, go up there, so I was trying to figure out how it was. All right, that's pretty cool. That's logical. Right? Yeah. How long have we been going?

Well, there was a 30-minute period where it was recording, but we weren't saying anything, so it's probably been 30 minutes. That's it? Me, dude. Maybe 40, 45? This has been 30 minutes. That's it? Me, dude. Maybe 40, 45. This has been an eternity. Okay, we could try our new segment. The new segment that was Smash or Pass.

Smash or Pass? Yeah. Just like with actual people? No, no, no. Like things. Oh, yeah, yeah. Hey, I'm going to get a snack. Okay.

What do we do? Let's do a segment of me eating a bag of chocolate. No. I think that everything changes if me and Jack are sitting right there, like the whole vibe of it, but the fact that you're telling us up here that... It's like you're an audience. I think we should do smash or pass. The issue is I don't have anything to...

To smash or pass. Well, you can't... Wait, are we saying things? Next topic! Hello? Yo, we are recording right now are you in the office no i am not why that's okay thank you what's wrong what's going on nothing i just i i have to talk on a podcast to myself for a long time and i'm not very good at it so i'm trying to see

if anyone wants to come talk to me um i would have actually told me earlier um i i found out very last minute That's alright now I'm just going to put featuring Kelly Keegs Oh my god that's amazing That makes me feel special While we're here How is this sounding through the thing

Sounds fine Oh amazing I mean we can literally chat right now Well I was going to ask you We'll do it quick Out of Order will have aired by the time this aired What was your experience like on set literally chat right now well i was gonna ask you we'll do it quick but the how did you out of order will have aired by the time this aired um what was your experience like on the set you've been on it before um my experience on set was uh nothing but spectacular i asking what your experience was on set makes it seem very sexual like a porn yeah no it was it was a comedy. It does seem like that. That's why I'm answering a little vaguely.

It's spectacular. My only complaint about the whole thing, I think, was that it was a thousand fucking degrees. Yeah? It was hot. We rented a studio in Brooklyn and it was hot. It was extremely hot. Well, yes, Out of Order will have aired at this point, but I still have yet to see it. So I hope I look hot enough.

If I do, let me know. It's actually exceptional. It's really good. Okay, great, great. Thank God, because I've been pretty stressed about that. But no, that was so fucking fun. I always like doing those things with you. You know that.

I always end up texting about it after like a fucking loser. Like, hey guys, thanks so much for including me. Because I love to be included. It's so fun. I think this actually could be a bad thing But I think the Universal belief Amongst those who

Have made it and seen it Is that's the best sketch I do not think we've been right once With what we think The public will think is the best sketch I think we're wrong every single time But In the locker room everyone thinks that is the best sketch i think we're wrong every single time um but in the locker room

everyone thinks that's the best one i love that and now i can't even wait even any longer i um always see that too whenever anybody talks about what are the best ones what are the favorites i never can figure out what people are going to like but i think i've gotten to the point where i don't really care and i just pick the one that I like the best because I trust my own judgment because I appreciate art not bending the knee to the public mob look at you today you know what I mean

like tomorrow things will be different alright they were alright okay well thank you very much thank you for doing Out of Order thank you for being a future guest on KFC Radio I'm sorry for not being at work in the middle of the day like I'm supposed to be thank you for doing Out of Order. Thank you for being a future guest on KFC Radio. I'm sorry for not being at work in the middle of the day like I'm supposed to be. Oh, that's okay.

We're recording this at 8 p.m. We can just lie. Okay. Oh, that's right. You're right. Yeah. Wow. I'm so tired.

I actually already took my Ambien, so I've got to go. All right. Thank you very much. All right. Bye, Andrew. All right. Who's the biggest name in your contacts?

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There's no safe like SimpliSafe. Hello? Hey, Kirk. What's up? Hey, so I got to do some podcasts like alone and i'm not doing good when you just talk forever how do you do that are you are we currently on the podcast yeah oh okay i'm on speakerphone let me get my uh headphones that are better connected how do i how do i communicate how do i communicate as a human being when i speak by myself yeah like kevin's not in today so i'm kind of doing the show and and we've been doing it for How do I communicate as a human being when I speak by myself? Yeah.

Like, Kevin's not in today, so I'm kind of just doing the show, and we've been doing it for an hour and a half. I saw the tweet. Okay. Yeah, I feel like I'm not – I don't want to make this super specific, but I have a bunch of thoughts in my head, and so, like, I like to articulate them. So if you don't have many thoughts in your head you might come up empty fairly early oh that's exactly the disconnect i got that might feel like that

might feel like a target attack you it's not i'm just saying i could see how that might happen what what's been the what was your what was the high point when did you peak it's been pretty hitler heavy thus far um i assume that's Adolf Hitler? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I mean, you know, as long as you're... Are you anti? Pretty anti.

Yeah. Well, okay. Yeah, I mean, as long as you don't go, like, full... Like, I always say, every six months in the news... This is one of my rules. Every six months in the news, somebody goes, like, full pro-Hitler and, like, loses their job. I don't want you to be that guy. I'm a bar guy don't fall in that trap so no i certainly haven't done that i i i defend them a little bit with the stuff people are saying he likes to get shit on and i was like

we don't need to have that he's already got enough bad stuff i like see i like that i like that um if you i know you're a fan of motion pictures if you you delved into, I saw your controversial Mission Impossible. Did you get into that, or has that already been? Kirk, we already did that. We're fresh out now. We've hit Mission Impossible. Oppenheimer? Going to see that tomorrow.

Going to see Barbie at Oppenheimer tomorrow. But excited for both. I think you should learn, then, from the great hot takers now. I've noticed in boston i don't pay much attention anymore i used to do radio now these like writers like the sports writers are going now they just they've learned from the national guys they just make shit up they're just like yeah like like crashing the fire belichick like if they lose the first game he's gonna get fucking fired oh like i would just start going god how could you possibly care about

how did you do that for so long pretend to give a shit about that kind of stuff? Well, I wound up trying to kill myself, if you remember correctly. So it didn't work out for me. My point is, find something that you're into and just make shit up about it. Become a hot take guy. There's no hot take movie guy. There's no hot take TV guy. There's no Stephen A. Smith for TV.

There's no Stephen A. Smith for music. I just said moments ago how I can't i don't i can't imagine finding that entertaining or fun to do oh okay all right okay any other guests today nope good i think we're just gonna do is i think i think i'm just gonna get it's gonna be the worst podcast of all time in fact i'm almost now after calling you because you're obviously a great guest you have listened to mean girls before right before you know what kirk i'm actually you know what i got a new new thing you brought out a good idea in me not idea but i thought i had uh there was some hubbub around the office yesterday about the nickelodeon thing it's a nickelodeon thing so there was a video that i went i guess moderately

viral um from mean girls with uh jordan and alex arguing not arguing uh alex realizing that she says nickelodeon nickelodeon wrong she said it nickelodeon her whole life um and all right it's it's i think i think i think you've snapped i think you're at the point now where you're just it was too okay i mean if that if that's your journey that's your journey by the burg i can't you know i can't get in your way i think it's all right i think we say words wrong all the time who cares why is that what a big deal i think i say nickelodeon that's what i said and people said i was making it up i think think I say Nickelodeon too. Now I'm actually into it. How am I supposed to say it? It's with a D.

It's Nickelodeon. There is a D in it, but I was presuming the D was kind of like just not even silent, but just sort of ignored. Like that's an annoying D in the word. Just ignore it. I'm with you 100% here, brother. I think it's, I think I said, I think as a kid I was tricked with the orange color that's a neon color, and I think I kind of just conflated

the two, and I'd always say Nickelodeon. Well, the word for me when I was a kid was, I still don't know if it's nunchucks or nunchucks. Kirk, you are speaking my language today. Guess what? Am I right though? Which one is it? I thought it was none, and then I saw a video

yesterday that Colin Terrell, the very funny comedian comedian retweeted and the guy kept talking about his numb chucks and i was like have i been no you're numb with an m yeah am i right i i thought it was none i thought it was n-u-n can we get a google here jesus look at all coming together now you got a you know a show where you're recapping kind of mediocre, mean girl video bits. Yeah. This is good.

I'm the mean girl post-show. Look at this career you've carved out for yourself. I am happy, Kirk. I am happy. Oh, good. I will let you go, though. It is nunchucks, just so you know. I think you were saying...

I missed your text. We haven't got one. I haven't got one in a while, but that's okay. I'll have to get you. I'll get you another one soon. know, I think you were saying... I missed your text. I haven't gotten one in a while. I'll have to get you another one soon. Yeah, I'll be around. Hang in there. You're almost home. Get it done. I got like an hour to go, Kirk. It's a nightmare. Well, the callback is... I'll be around. Thank you.

See ya. Alright. Featuring Kirk Minahan. We are cooking with gas now, boys and girls. Call Dave. Just get that one. No.

I have numbers in my phone who I shouldn't have, and I'd call them before I called Dave. Who's the most famous person on your phone? I honestly don't even know. Like, I don't have a lot of famous people's numbers. Kevin's very good at that. Basically, every interview, Kevin's like, hey, what's your number? Let's stay in touch.

I don't do that. It's just another person I have to talk to. But I honestly don't even, like, I should start putting people's names on my phone with parentheses famous afterwards. No matter what level of fame they have. Because at least then I can just Google famous or search famous and I see at least who's in the conversation. I wouldn't even know how to guess. I just opened my contacts. Asa Kira is towards the top.

She's up there. We'll do this. I'll scroll through. We'll go letter by letter. I'll get the most famous person for each letter in my phone. Asakira for A. I have a lot of barstool. Burt Kreischer for B.

Like barstool. I got a lot of Coke for C. It's Brianna Chicken Fry for C. Yeah, Will Compton, Ian Cole, no. Right? Chicken Fry beats them. Whitney Cummings. Whitney Cummings might be more famous than Chicken Fry. Probably.

Dude, Chicken Fry's a monster. It's close. It's been a couple years, but right now it's Whitney. D might be Chef Donnie. No, Scott Darling. E is Ebony. Okay, that's enough.'s all Fidel brings Next topic Fuck

We probably have like 20 minutes of useful footage now So We're 20 total Of useful stuff No we're probably 30 40 40

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all right who else should i call you know who i on my phone and I'm not going to call because I have – I think we've been – obviously this is before the strike. So maybe that is even off the table at all. But there was talk of having this person on the show working something out. I have Taylor Kitch's phone number i don't know if it's i probably got it five years ago maybe more than that um like someone got it some girl i know like i was in california and this girl's like i have taylor kitch's number do you want it and i was like yeah and i've never done anything with it and i i thought it would be nice when I interviewed him to go,

just so you know, I could have been harassing you this entire time, but I'm a professional, and I haven't. And that's it. Whenever I get too drunk, my only fear is, like, don't call Taylor. He's your Twitter header, right? Taylor Kitchens by Twitter. That's more – yes, it is. But, like, that's Friday Night Lights.

That's me and Coach Taylor. But either way, you have a man's phone number that is on one of your pictures on social media. He doesn't know that you have your phone number. He has no idea. He didn't give it to me. And every single – like, when you wake up on a Saturday morning and you're like, fuck, what did I do? I have that same feeling. It's only about did I call Taylor?

Bro, I get two drinks in me, I make two phone calls. That's what my brain says. I think that desperate times call for desperate measures. I think now, if you're going to use your one time to call Taylor Kitsch, it has to be now. I don't know, man. I'm like so scared. KFC Radio.

I see you getting nervous. I am. You have to do it. I'm not. I don't think I You have to do it. I'm not. I don't think I'm going to do it. That would be insane. Wait, give me, give me. No, because what am I going to say if he answers?

Like, best case scenario is he doesn't answer. If he answers. I think you just hang up. I'm like. You can just hang up. Just hang up. Just see if he answers. Hang up and block his number?

Yeah. Like, or. Just say. Is this Taylor? And then when he says yes, hang up. Say like, he answers. Hang up the blogger's number? Yeah. Like, or just say, is this Taylor? And then when he says yes, hang up. Say like, hello, is your refrigerator running? This devolves back to Jack. We're actually doing prank calls

to celebrities. Wait, Google the 778 area code. That's where this phone number is. Canada. He's Canadian. phone number is canada he's canadian i shouldn't have this number i shouldn't be calling taylor yeah yeah michael b jordan i forgot oh yeah wow yeah i'm not gonna do it and then what's gonna happen is this is gonna go out and people gonna make you have to you pussy i'll do it next episode but i'm not gonna do it right now okay i i i think there is i think it's because he has he has sent me a video what what what do you mean i have a video

of tailgates going fights what's up like cameo no it's an old old thing i want to try this i'll have it it's on my instagram uh but I don't know if I have it. There's so many phones ago. It's the Dirty Honey Band sent it to me. They took it of him after a celebrity game years ago. That was fast. Decent Apple just saying, should have had more, but here we go. Fights, kick share, Decent Apple just saying, should have had more, but here we go.

It's like he had an assist in a celebrity game, and they sent me him doing his own recap, and pretty sick. Pretty sick. When I call him, i just play him that video he's like definitely was a lot shorter and less cool he didn't seem into it at all he's at gunpoint um but that was pretty cool um next topic next topic baby all right let's take a break But that was pretty cool Next topic Next topic baby

Alright let's take a break We've got a meeting at 3.30 We can do voicemails Oh yeah Oh yeah Alright We'll do voice Let's do some voicemails

Let's do some voicemails That's what they're for Well we do Am I the Asshole first Right let's Forgot about this Let's do the show the Asshole first. Right? Let's... Forgot about this. Let's do the show. Let's do the show.

Let's do the show. We forgot about One Minute Man. Let's do KFC Radio. We forgot to do KFC Radio. We were doing other things. We could have been doing KFC Radio the whole time. Am I the Asshole for giving me a Zoom? Am I the Asshole for telling my wife that I agree? Oh, wait. We're going to do Am I the asshole for giving me a Zoom? Am I the asshole for telling my wife that I agree?

Oh, wait. We're going to do Am I the Asshole now. Am I the asshole for telling my wife that I agree with her coworkers? Pat, I need a much more Zoom. All right. All right. All right. Am I the asshole for telling my wife that I agree with their coworkers?

Throw her away and on mobile. Let me need that information. Me, 30-year-old male, and my wife, Lexi, 28-year-old female, have been together for five years. Lexi and I have always had a pretty solid relationship. We do have our issues like any other couple, but we always work through it in the end. One recurring issue that has been causing some drama lately is Lexi's coworkers. About six months ago, Lexi got a new job at a local supermarket. Roughly three months into it, she started complaining about how her coworkers don't like her and she can't stand them.

She kept going on and on about how annoying they are and that her coworkers claim won't why they don't like her is because she's a constant downer i wouldn't say anything during these discussions but i would find myself secretly agreeing with lexi's co-workers i love lexi but one trait that has only been an issue is her pessimism lexi has a bad habit of thinking negatively assuming the worst in other people, and generally has a defeated attitude. Basically, a Debbie Downer. That's me, Debbie, Debbie Downer. After months of going on and on about how awful her co-workers are, I decided to take a look for myself. A couple days ago, I had the day off, so I went to Lexi's place of work

and observed her interacting with her co-workers. Lexi knew that I would be there and insisted that she would prove to me that she's being unfairly targeted. During several interactions, Lexi would endlessly complain about having to be at work. She would say nasty things about customers, etc. She also had very bad body language. She would roll her eyes and obnoxiously sigh when customers left her registry. It wasn't comfortable to watch.

I was there for about two hours when I decided to leave and go back home. After Lexi came home from work, she immediately started complaining about her coworkers and said how they were cold towards her for no reason. She felt vindicated and said, so do you believe me now? Now do you understand why I have to bitch all the time? Maybe now you can understand how I feel.

I explained to her that, based on what I observed, I actually agree with her coworkers. Lexi exploded on me. She yelled that I'm just like everyone else, and that I'm a slimy weasel for sliding with her coworkers. She stormed out of the house and is currently staying with her mom.

I'm trying my best to understand where she's coming from, but I don't know what else I can do. Am I the asshole? Jackie? Um. Yeah. No, no, no, no. Not Jackie. Not the asshole.

Yeah. I like calling on a kid in class who wasn't paying attention. I didn't even know you weren't paying attention but i knew like i didn't see you just to be clear no one was paying attention just like the listeners because this podcast song next topic i don't know. Figure out your own fucking problems. Do one more. We'll do one more. No, honestly, that one is just like, I mean, it's just what we talked about the other day,

where it's like. Actually, Pavs just basically did the same thing. He just decided that, you probably have stuff to say on this, you just decided that you were being too grumpy, and that you needed to. I respect that. You're like, I'm grumpy today, you know i respect that really i'm like i'm grumpy today i'm not doing that's i'd rather have that than someone do it grumpily because then it then it is a debbie downer you're not a debbie downer if you remove yourself from the situation and just be like

i'm gonna fucking bring y'all down if you are if you remain part of the situation and bring no energy and say this sucks then you're deb Dab. I think we've been doing it in a humorous way that I think it's okay. We're going to see a spike tomorrow for sure. I think we're I think it's the acknowledgement of the fact that it's not good.

This would be a worse podcast if we were like, we are fucking killing this right now. Acknowledging the truth and the fact of the matter that this is all over the place in a piece of shit makes it kind of a funny train wreck this might be the worst episode of kc radio ever for sure for sure all right take a break. Pabst, weren't you just about to say something? I had nothing to say.

You explain it. I'm being less of a Debbie Downer. Cool. Next topic. Next topic. All right, let's do voicemails. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. I need to go to therapy just after this episode.

This has been traumatic. I have probably PTSD. I need help. This has made me realize that I need help with basically everything in my life. I need to get it together. Sometimes in life, we're faced with tough choices and the path forward isn't always clear. Like when you have to do a podcast alone

and it's somehow way harder than you thought it was going to be and very stressful. And you're going to carry this with you for months and years to come because everyone's always going to remind you of how bad you are at it whether you're dealing with decisions around career such as this relationships or anything else therapy helps you stay connected to what you really want while you navigate life so you can move forward with confidence and excitement trusting yourself to make decisions that align with your values is like anything the more you practice it, the easier it gets.

For example, it's helpful to learn positive coping skills and how to set boundaries. It empowers you to be the best version of yourself. It isn't just for those experiencing major trauma. If you're thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to fit your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire and get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapists anytime for no

additional charge let therapy be your map with better help visit betterhelp.com slash kfc to get 10 off your first month that's betterhelp.com betterhelp h-e-l BetterHelp.com slash KFC. What's up, guys? So in regards to the Japanese mini trucks or the Kai trucks, you can get several different beds with them. They have a flat bed. Then they have a scissor lift one. And then they have a dump bed. I'm looking at the scissor lift one.

The only problem is I'm in New York. And you can't actually register them in New York for some reason. Now, there's a place in New Milford, Connecticut, right down the line, right down around the border, that has at least 25 of them for sale. He can't get rid of them because in Connecticut you can't register them for some reason. What you can do though is open up an LLC in Montana. It sounds a little sketchy, but then you register in Montana, and you have PO Box there, and you're all good. Now, for my question, and this is a weird one for fights

mostly, what's your weird food combination? Mine is the famous name is cookies and Tabasco Cheez-Its. You put them together, it is delish. Let me know your thoughts. First of all, I don't understand why it has to be Montana for the Chi truck. Why can't it be just a different state that allows Chi trucks? Because they're allowed in Massachusetts. For sure. I see them on the road. That's why I want one. Or I see one on the road.

But the weird food combinations i i obviously i have the slot bucket which is just everything right now currently in my slot bucket i got yams peppers broccoli broccoli, ground pork, and grilled chicken. So that's all in my slot bucket right now. But all that goes together. The slot bucket gets a bad rap on account of the name. Oh, rice as well.

There's rice in the slot bucket. But it's just food. It's a bunch of food in a bucket it's basically a stir fry onions are in there too um so the slop bucket i i don't know i saw a commercial yesterday uh that was beyond repulsive it's a commercial for heinz ketchup and it was on one of the streaming services I watched where it was a commercial camp in the middle of it and they're talking about

people who love Heinz and like I think it starts with a guy pulling out a ketchup packet in a steakhouse and he puts it on his steak gross but whatever and people put ketchup on all kinds of things I think someone put it on a popsicle whatever gross stuff someone had a ketchup car all of it is stuff where you're like

but nothing that gross then they show a guy sitting at a sushi bar uh yeah right here this one they show a guy sitting at a sushi bar dip raw sushi into ketchup. And I thought that was genuinely repulsive. And kind of turned me off to the idea of ketchup as a whole. I used to love ketchup. I've been falling on my love affair. I put ketchup on less and less stuff as I get older. But I might be off ketchup

as a whole now. It made me actually ill. I'm waiting to see it because I thought that sounded good. Sushi? Bro. I think you put any type of sauce on sushi and it's going to taste good. It's not that it wasn't that he put it on.

It was the dipping into it. You thought that looked good? That looked good. Oh, God. Next topic. What's up, boys? What's up, Jackie? This is the picture guy.

So I'm going to clarify a little about the best tits in the world. First of all, the snowboarding pictures, that was me. Oh, it was him. Okay. I figure you guys should put them in your studio, the new studio. And that was from my snowboard career. And as far as the picture of the tits, was me with jamie as well i was from warp tour when i used to go on tour with my sponsors and um the reason why that was not glossy is

because i was running out the door and i was trying to print it ran out of ink and it didn't come out so good but um yeah those pictures are me uh the name, the signature you saw was Jay-Z. My initials, not J-F. Close. And, yeah, that was a one of one because this one never made it to light. So now that I've showed you the best tits in the world, what do you think the chances are of Jamie coming forward? Zero.

Love to hear it. Thanks, guys. Hard zero. However, if you weren't alive for the Warped Tour era, I feel terrible for you. Because the Warped Tour era was so recognizable that I saw those breasts and I went, that's it, the Warped Tour.

I, it was, like we kind of mentioned time capsules earlier, I knew without a doubt, without a shadow of a doubt, I wonder if I even said it. I feel like I might have said it, that those are Warped Tour tents. That was the, I knew it. I fucking knew it. That was

at the Warped Tour. I knew it. That's amazing. To see a pair of breasts. I'm like a geolocator. I'm like KV. I'm autistic for Warped Tortoise. That was... I fucking knew

exactly where that was and what was going on around. I've lived it. I've lived it a million times. I knew it. That's unbelievable. I think that you put him on his story. I'm trying to lived it. I've lived it a million times. I knew it. That's unbelievable. I think that you put him on his story. I'm trying to find it. Dude, we lost the picture.

We lost the picture? Well, that's... Someone's trying to take it. This is like when my mom used to lose her Victoria's Secrets. Like, someone fucking took it and is using it. I had the context clues that it was from a snowboarder, so it was a leading question. But boy, did I fucking know it. I just knew, man.

The flat brims in the picture. Found it. Yeah. Oh, the red sunglasses. Oh, wait. Okay, I'm not cutting to that. The red sunglasses. The fucking

I just, it's just everything about this picture Screams Warped Tour I knew it Next topic I can just keep repeating myself, but I have like three things to say Like three sentences to say Hey KFC Radio crew

I actually got a uh story for you today actually about my dad so my dad used to go to florida state university and during his junior year he lived in a pretty sketchy part of town and he lived with a few of his friends and roommates and one day their sliding glass door opens They're all just hanging out on the couch. And a few gentlemen in ski masks and pistols walk in. And they start waving them around. They're like, give us all your money. And then my dad's friend walks out from the shower. Nothing, soaking wet, got a towel on.

The guys are like, he's like, what's going on? These guys are like, you're getting fucking robbed. Give us all your money. And then my dad's friend, you know, still in the towel, just hopped out of the shower goes, can I write you a check? The robbers disrespected by that end up pistol whipping him big gash on his forehead. He was knocked out cold and they robbers ended up getting out about 25 bucks from my dad and his college roommates. So yeah, I guess the question would then be, what is the dumbest thing that either you or one of your friends have said in a dangerous situation?

All right. Viva. I'm so poisoned by movies where I was like, this dude in the town was going to kick their ass. I thought he was going to like fucking rat tail them and then like wrap a towel around their neck and fling one guy through back to the sliding glass windows no he's got pistol whipped and knocked out cold um i mean a very similar story happened to me like eerily similar it happened at florida state university uh in tallahassee. I lived on Jackson Bluff Road.

I lived in Villa Cortez Apartments. I was taking a shit one day, and I heard my front door open very, very loudly. I knew my roommate, Adam, who went to Tallahassee Community College, was away for the weekend, so I was like, huh, that is probably not a good opening of the door. And I peeked my head out the bathroom door and saw men walking with ski masks, no pistols.

And I simply locked the door, sat back down, continued playing Brick Breaker. And once they left, listen to them rummage around the apartment. They were not shy. Listen to them gomage around the apartment like they were not shy listen to them go bedroom to bedroom the whole shebang and then when they left i played lifestyles of the rich and famous on my phone and listened to the bathroom i don't know why it was just a song i liked at the time uh warped tour baby and uh and when i got out i called the police because they had stolen my tv my, my roommate's laptop. I had a Dell.

He had a Mac. He was more upset. And then actually that led to me getting my first Mac, and I've never gone back. But I called the police. They came. They were like, I hadn't just moved in, but I had just bought a TV. And they were like, did you leave the box outside and i said yeah i did and they were like they that was dumb and i was like damn and they said did you see the assailants or the robbers or whatever word they used and i said i did i caught a glimpse of them and they said what color were

they and out of white guilt i was was like, I don't know. And one of the officers was white, one was black, and the black one went, they look like me or him, and I went, you. I don't think they ever caught him. But that's that story. The dumbest thing I've ever done in a situation like that i'm really smart like i i don't have pride or dignity or anything like that so if you come in my house and you're like i want all your things i don't

take my fucking things then i don't know the i would never never mind i was gonna say I would never crack wise I might crack wise hopefully anyone who robs me has a good sense of humor they're like ah he's being kind of funny I'm still going to rob him I'm not going to hit him but also

actually like the we were talking about when I had to go upstairs and check my neighbor's roof deck and Kevin was like they probably came to you because they can hear what a psychopath you are when you're hitting walls and stuff like that. I used to

hit walls back then too but in a different sense I didn't have a workout machine attached to the wall that invited me to hit it. I was just in a bad relationship and we're getting fights it was long distance so it wasn't that crazy but it's still pretty crazy but like it is funny walking into like someone you know is home and like there's a hole in the wall like in college

oh you guys got into a fight last there wasn't one there were like a hundred it was nuts you just know exactly where it's from bro the hallway from the living room to my bedroom. Because I would get a call, and I would storm out of the living room to take my call. And then I don't know why I didn't want to punch holes in my bedroom, but the hallway leading from my bedroom to the living room had 12 holes in it. It was nuts. There'm like i might crack wise like it was it was it was crazy and like my roommate like wouldn't even address it like he like he walked by jesus i'm gonna fight again last night i guess with what he was saying in

his head but he would not say anything out loud But it's also funny This picture like punching a hole in the wall While having a blackberry attached to your ear God damn it But yeah there were a lot of So at least maybe they were like A little nervous walking around I like to think that

That they were walking around my apartment being like I hope this guy doesn't come home Because he's a fucking nut job um but yeah they robbed my shit uh i don't i i don't think i would yeah no i would definitely crack wise i'd yeah but i wouldn't no no i would say that but you guys took a check it's funny uh i in other situations where danger is imminent, I'm pretty smart about it. Again, I'm not the kind of guy who's looking for a fight or is looking to escalate a situation. So I can't imagine I have many of those. I did punch a guy in the face once at a bar fairly recently.

Not that recently. In New York. I lived in New York. So it was years ago. But that was dumb of me. What was it over? He slapped a girl's ass. I was with twice.

The first time I said, don't do that again. And the second time I punched him in the face. And he was unconscious. And then people rushed me out of the bar. And then I just left. And I don't know what happened to that guy.

It was actually pretty sick. I threw the punch. And then as I was following through, someone else already had grabbed my hand and was pulling me out the door. And before anyone even knew what happened. I think he fell onto a table, if I correctly he's in brooklyn i think and he fell on the table on the glasses like movie style again that's how i remember it that might not have been reality um but i was ushered out of the bar very quickly and i just went home but usually i don't do that kind of thing. Usually I'm the de-escalator, much like I am on the podcast right now.

Next topic. What up, gang? Got a few things for you. First and foremost, thank you, Fattleburg, for helping me euthanize my animal last week. Had the guy for 13 years, broke my heart,

but I just kept thinking, click that button faster, baby. Let's get this over with. And now I get to blame you for killing my dog. Secondly, my parents are from Buffalo, New York. My cousins live up there, go up there often, but I grew up in Georgia. Not only did I grow up in Georgia, but I grew up in Noonan fucking Georgia. No way!

So, Jackie, hit your girl up. I don't live there anymore, but not too far away. We can tear up the town. I'll show you around. And third, see you fuckers in Buffalo at the Helium, number 18th, I believe. All right, peace out. Dude, what a great voice, man. That makes me feel good.

One, I love killing pets. The two, Noonan. Every time this comes up, Jackie, I remember you got to go to Noonan. I'm going to calendar up if you want to pick a date. Do you want it to be summertime in Noonan? Don't worry. You're not going to end up going on this date. No, I'll go. We're going to't worry you're not gonna end up going on this we're gonna go we're gonna do we we are very bad at that here at kf3 i'll go next week i think other franchises are much better at saying things and doing them we've acknowledged the problem that's

step one we we do need to get better at doing it and And this isn't you. This is mostly me and Kevin. Let's book me next week. Okay. Next week. When? Next week. You can do it on Friday. What's the date? Oh, wait.

I can't. The 27th is next week. Okay. I can't do. What do you have? I'm gone next week. Okay, I can't do... What do you have? I'm gone next weekend. I'd like to be here just so I can follow your updates. Yeah.

So let's do it in August, like first week of August. How does August 3rd look for you, Jackie? August 3rd looks great. All right, August 3rd. We'll put it on the books. August 3rd, Jackie's August 3rd we'll put it on the books August 3rd Jackie's probably going to

noon in Georgia most likely for the day how early flights give me whatever whatever you got whatever fits the $500 oh I don't think

it's going to be $500. If I had to guess, nothing's going to fit the $500. What airport would it be? I don't think it's... Atlanta. What airport would it be? As if it's not 35 minutes right down the highway. Fucking buffoon.

What airport? The Hub, baby. The Hub. The airport. The biggest airport in America. McLean Airport, I think is what it's called. It's definitely a Mick. You're so bad at Googling things.

Like, what could possibly come up? What did you Google? Well, I'm looking for flights right now, and there's three options. You're so bad at Googling things. Like, what could possibly come up? What did you Google? I'm looking for flights right now, and there's three options. There's Hartsfield-Jackson. It's definitely that one. I don't know where I got mixed up. That's what was confusing me for a second.

It's 100% Hartsfield-Jackson. No, it's Hartsfield-Jackson for sure. All right. I've got to fill out all your stuff. We'll do that. Okay. All right. Podcast is to fill out all your stuff. We'll do that. Okay. All right. Podcast is over.

No more topics? We done? Do you want to be done? How long have we gone? It says to 20 hours. Probably an hour. Probably an hour. Fucking done.

This is easy. Oh! Another thing New fucking Barstool stupid Corporate bullshit thing We got an email From Barstool people We're just having

Doctors appointments In the office now That's crazy Just Just we can just Go to the doctor In the office hi all we are excited to announce our next wellness office event this wednesday july 19th a biometric assessment screening we all know how hard it is to get to the doctor it's literally just a doctor's appointment we're just having a

doctor come in so we wanted to provide you with the opportunity to get a quick checkup so what does the biometric screening consist of good question it's a simple finger prick that provides you with cholesterol glucose and they take your blood pressure height weight and more the screening won't take more than 20 minutes the most accurate result is recommended you fast for nine hours prior to the screening what planet are we on and we just have doctor's offices coming to our office. For hundreds of years, people just left work and gone to the doctor. Or not, in my case. It doesn't matter. It's your choice.

Do what you want with your time. Why is there a doctor going to be in the office? Next topic. That segment was brought to you by Factor. Now that we're in the thick of summer, you might be looking for some wholesome, convenient meals to support Next topic. stay on track reaching your goals too busy summer too busy with summer plants to cook but make sure but want to make sure you're eating well with factor skip the extra to the grocery store the chopping the prepping the cleaning up to while getting the flavor and nutritional quality you need factors fresh never frozen meals never frozen meals already in just two minutes he's popping the microwave easy peasy all you have to do is heat and enjoy then get back outside soak

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When I just need sustenance, Factor is the move. Head to factormeals.com slash KFC50 and use code KFC50 to get 50% off. That's KFC50 at factormeals.com to get, you wouldn't believe it, 50% off. Yo, doggy. What's up? What's going on? Nothing. What are you up to? I am laying on the couch.

Yeah? Nice. Yeah. How about you? I'm just on the couch. Yeah? Nice. Yeah. How about you? I'm just still trying to record this podcast. Get the fuck out of here. We need like 15 more minutes, dude. Get the fuck out of here.

It's 5 o'clock, I know, Kevin. It's so hard. Don't make me laugh. I'm sorry. It's so hard. Don't make me laugh. Don't make me laugh. Sorry. We're going to do an out-of-order segment with Paz and Owen. But yeah, brother, you're not doing so hot.

Dude, I say we put out the episode and then we should release the full cut. We'll do release the final cut. We'll do, release the final cut. And it's just a five hour podcast. Bro. It's just, it's just me saying three sentences going, you guys think we should take a break?

I'm sure they've loved that. Jackie's so mad. She's like, it's going to be our shortest shortest podcast ever And it's hands down Gonna be my longest edit ever Like how long is it? It only needs to be What?

An hour? No we had six ads Oh no Fuck I've called Minahan I've called Keegs I'm gonna do an out of order segment Consider calling

Kevin I was done three minutes in Is. I'm going to do an out-of-order segment. Consider calling. Kevin, I was done three minutes in. I was like, I'm out. You guys have done this before, though. I don't know. If it was a Monday episode, maybe I would have had longer. But I don't do anything during the week. So, like, for Wednesday, I got nothing like i i can't paths paths literally for most of the podcast just has up a topic generator and he's just scrolling going what do you think about railroads dude i'm telling you

this might end up being the funniest podcast that's ever been published on our channel i bet you people end up loving this and that's how stupid podcasting is. We talked about Hitler more than we should. See? People will be like, tomorrow's Hitler episode is great. I guarantee it. They're filled with dead air. I'm not saying that our producers won't hate you

for life, but the fans will love it. It is not. Kevin, we started at noon. It's 5 p.m. And we're like. I can't. When you said, like, I got to finish this podcast.

Oh, my God. All right. I'll let you get back to it. How long was that? Oh, my God. That was two minutes? What? How is it?

I thought that was 15 at least. You have three. Yeah, I'm at 258. So we're almost there. If I ever need to negotiate again, I'm bringing this phone call on that episode into the office. And saying, oh, yeah? You don't need me? You need me? If you didn't exist,

it would just be me going, guys, we done? I came on the podcast today and I said, in case anyone's wondering, Barbie is not about the Iraq war. And then I was out. That's everything that's going on in my world.

You came to the table with one single tweet. I said about every topic I have three sentences. That's it. And then that's – And what do you think I do differently? I just give you topics to talk about? Well, you just – so first of all, I was –, no one else is even on, is even on the other now paths and owner there right now, but for the entire time, no one else was even on the

other couch. So it's just me on an Island and like, no one's saying anything. The, the entire episode, particularly when I'm trying to make jokes, like it's, it's the Joker. Like it's, it is, it is, is it's it's so bad dude it is it's fucking joaquin phoenix stand there no one laughed like they they were texting i'm just like trying to make jokes no one's even paying attention who's in the room let alone who's like listening to a podcast no one in the room with me is paying attention at one point i did a whole segment and i went jackie what do you think about that

because i knew she wasn't listening and she's just like i don't know and i was like paz what about you paz was texting i was like what are we doing here this is this is so bad there's the people in the room yeah i don't blame anyone. I'm not blaming you guys. I'm saying if you guys are physically in the room with me and you don't care, how is anyone listening to me in headphones going to care? I'm sorry, what was that? Dude, we should put the five hours behind a paywall.

Our first use of the pay-per-view machine will be this. Bro, I had an idea at one point. It was let's see if, let's do ASMR and I just eat chips. Oh my god. The worst, you should tell us the worst podcast that exists. Like, if you have any respect for yourself, you should not listen

to this podcast. Like, everyone's got 24 hours in a day use yours elsewhere yo i how would you want to make a bet this is one of our higher downloaded episodes if if if this is if this has anything more than half of our usual listeners i will be upset at our listeners i i'm gonna say i'm gonna say that this has a top 75% or whatever, 25%, you know, whatever, however that works. I'm almost guaranteeing it. You know what they say with fame, celebrity, and stuff like that?

The number one thing is you can never grow to like anything but love your fans yeah this would be like my wife shitting her pants in front of me i can never look at you the same again like this is the love is gone if you think that there's but people are gonna want to tune in just to say, you know, I'm usually like, I love the episodes, but it's just Fidelberg. But man, this one's... It's so bad.

Now, still beat. Still beat. All right. We'll pick this up for tomorrow. That's about it. That's seven minutes, I think. No, I wouldn't hang up. I was about to start talking to that mom.

She goes, I wouldn't hang up I can I was about to start talking about my own goes I wouldn't hang up yeah yeah this phone call I'll do a one minute ad for a six minute phone call and we got a new ad all right man I will uh I will let you get back to it. All right. Looking forward to seeing you again soon. I'll talk to you tomorrow. What's up, guys? I did have one idea to help the episode. Do you remember Even Stevens?

Yeah, Shia LaBeouf's breakout role. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My family got me a cameo from Stephen Anthony Lawrence, the guy who plays Beans. No way. I could play it. Put him in the thumbnail. Give it a whirl, baby!

Yo, Owen, how's it going, my dude? What'd he say? This is Stephen Anthony Lawrence, Beans from the Disney of the Channels. Oh, my phone died. No! No! Wait, just reenact it.

Yo, Owen, what's going on, my dude? You can see Lawrence from Beans on the Disney Channel. No way your phone just died. Oh, man. This is the worst episode. This dude's so bad. I think he's right, though. It's going to be, like, so good.

They're going to add, like, we're going to have so many views, like, ads. Can we do, we want to sign up for KFC Radio, but we want to do a really bad one. We want to fight. Did John find out an hour before he had to do it alone? That one. 10 years experience? 11. I think it was 11.

Out of order is out. Out of Order is out. Out of Order is out. In an hour. I don't know when this releases. This comes out tomorrow. So this would be Out of Order is out now. Episode 5. I thought this was my favorite one.

I would have to agree. I think the fact that we had so many. Not one location was in office or even around. We went to Brooklyn for three of the shoots all in one day. Shout out Factory 380, another one. Factory 380 and one just in – what park was that? Herald Square? No.

Washington Square. Washington Square. What's your favorite? Sketching this one? Yeah. I think Make-A-Wish or Dark Knight are like even for me. Dark Knight. Yeah. I think it's Make-A-Wish. And Knight are even for me. Dark Knight. Yeah.

I think it's Make-A-Wish, and I think it's going to end up being Lobster. Yeah. So as of right now, we have four good sketches and then one that makes sense if you're on acid. Which I like. Which Amanda Bynes is. Yeah, that's the joke. That's the joke. It's from Amanda Bynes' perspective.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's super meta. How long has that been? Do you guys want, like, show and tell or talent show or something? I can do the alphabet backwards really fast. Sure. Z-Y-X-W-V-U-T-S-R-Q-P-O-N-M-L-K-J-I-H-G-F-E-D-C-B-A. Oh, shit. That was, like, fast, fast. That would have been fast for four words. I was not saying that. really fast sure z y x w v u t s r q p o n m l k j i h g f e d c b a oh wow shit that was like fast fast that would have been fast for i was not that would have been whoa that was like a running joke

when we were in high school that like the cops stop you you could beat the dewey's you beat the dewey's and like i learned it like before i even started drinking i I was like, this is going to be something I'm going to have to know. Before your first sip, you knew you would also drop it. I'm going to want to know this one. I'm going to like this one. All right. That's about 15 minutes. That has to be 15. I think we're good

it's 11 did you already do the ads? no oh so could those be the 4 minutes? no you need to fill in the space with ads I see the dilemma there's not enough recorded

useful dude we started at noon 5pm how is that fucking possible that this is Useful recorded time. Dude, we started at noon. 5 p.m. How is that fucking possible? You do this for a living and do it well. You're like one of the best. All right. That's 12.

Go watch Out of Order. If that didn't get you to watch it, I don't know why. It's funny. Maybe. Probably. If you're Amanda Bonds and on acid. Yep. Good episode.

Cool.