KFC Radio - The Worst Identity, Sticks & Stones, and The Crowd Work Special (with Andrew Schulz)

Episode Date: August 29, 2019

John might have got a guy deported. Is KFC's identity worth stealing? The latest Chapelle Special "Sticks & Stones" How to stay calm during the zombie apocalypse, how much sex should I have in my 20s, sex or a relationship with dream girl. Andrew Schulz stops by to discuss his latest special The Crowd Work Special, how to stop a hurricane, the Amazon fire, and how to get a shadow ban liftedYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. That's another edition of KFC Radio. Today's episode is brought to you by SeatGeek. The summer is almost over. That means you still probably got a couple, like, outdoor concerts to go to. That means football's on the horizon. Playoff baseball is coming. Any sort of live entertainment for any season of the year, the best way to get it is through SeatGeek. It's the best app that compiles all the tickets available on the secondary market in one easy-to-read place with full ticket transparency, a guarantee for authenticity, and the best prices possible. Because showing every single price available leads to a fair market. And you know whether the price is getting jacked up over here, whether this guy is just trying to unload them for retail over there. So you know you're going to get the best bang for your buck whether you're looking to sit front row or nosebleeds.

Concerts, comedy, sports, whatever it may be, live entertainment, there's only one place to get your ticket. And that's SeatGeek. And there's only one way to get your $10 discount. There's actually many, many ways. But the promo code here. Nardini said she, and that's SeatGeek. And there's only one way to get your $10 discount. There's actually many, many ways. Nardini said she's getting me some SeatGeek. We're going to a play together. Oh, yeah? Yeah.

Her choice or your choice? Her choice. She said she's going to choose. I said, he might want to have me choose. I was going to say. The authority over here. What are you going to take me to? Cats?

Come on. I'll take you to something you don't even know about yet. What the fuck is Cats? I've said this before. It's the one play I've ever walked out of. I'll take you to something you don't even know about. What the fuck is Cats? I've said this before. It's the one play I've ever walked out of. I mean, it's a disaster. And they're making that a movie. The commercial for the movie was like, this is the creepiest thing I've ever seen.

The movie is the perfect. I know you've never watched 30 Rock. But there's a full episode on 30 Rock based on Tracy Jordan creating a porn video game and they talk about how it's the valley of the valley of the something and it's about how in in animation things are either uncanny valley uncanny valley the uncanny valley is it's like you're too real or it's like too fake and it's like but it's not sexy right and it's like here we have mario and he's like i love mario and here we have tom hanks and the polar express and it's like cats is just tom hanks in the polar yes it's too weird and i mean it's cats just like

it's a terrible subject there's no movie it was called there's no story to cats yeah there's no story no it's just a bunch of cats introducing themselves alley cats that's why they were like so there are 50 actors in the movie it's just cats being like i'm snuffle up i guess and then they sing a song and it's like here's a new cat there's no story to cats just here are 50 cats do you remember you remember scoffield street oh yes when my grandma used to live in the bronx the stray cats? Riddled with stray cats. I'm talking 50 on the block. She'd throw a tune outside her window?

Is that what it was? I mean, I don't know what it was. They were like, all night there would be like cat fights and shit. You'd hear them like clawing and rolling. There was like a point in my life where I finally was like, oh, wait, this is weird. Because it was so prevalent that I was just like. You just thought it was the norm. Yeah, I guess cats just kind of like live everywhere.

You just grew up surrounded by alley cats. It was fucking disgusting thinking back on it. Fuck cats. The real thing. Fuck cats. They play. But if that's your cup of tea, go check out. Go get your tickets on SeatGeek.

Download the SeatGeek app. Use the promo code KFC to get $10 off your first purchase. Fuck, I forgot to bring it in here. You know a little dude, Matt, young kid who comes to all of our shows, comes to all of our events comes to all of our events he met me outside he wanted to contribute something to the KFC Radio Wall of Fame

the motherfucking Luis Castillo bobblehead he's like you son of a bitch it's on my desk right now if you're watching on gold you can see all the shit we got on the wall if you're a fan this guy's a true supporter of what we do. He loves us and we love him.

If you want to donate anything to this show, you can mail it to the office. You can stop by the office. Anything you want on display, we'll put it up there. It's almost so bad that I like it. Who in the world as a Mets fan would have a Luis Castillo on the ball head? It's on the lam for drug charges.

Shout out to Matt and Luis. Go to barstoolgold.com slash KFC if you want to see us. I'm rocking my new specs here. Yeah, I can't take mine off. They're not for me. They're not you? Nah, I didn't look good on me. They're very small on my head, and they made my face look like Big Evan.

It hurt. Yeah, you do have the chipmunk thing going for you. These are big on me. I have a pea head. I have a very tiny head. I have a long head but not a wide head. So hats and glasses and shit don't fit me. I got a pea head.

I'm sorry. Yeah, well, it's better than he's got the big head. I got a big head. So like somewhere in the middle of. That's not very Irish of you. We would have been, yeah, we would have been like a good human if we like... What's that? You had a big dick if you're just doing everything anti-Irish?

No, no. I got one of those Irish heads where it's just like... Wait, which one? Well, I have a huge head. That's Irish. And I'm just saying, which head? Oh, this one. My dick is kind of like an upside-down Christmas tree, maybe,

where it starts skinnier and gets bigger. You got the Tiger Woods going on? I mean, it's not like Tiger Woods. Tiger Woods is baffling. It's millimeters of difference, but it's definitely skinnier at the base. It should gradient, like... Yeah, it should go out. Wait, wait, wait.

Upside-down Christmas tree is right. No, no, no, wait. No, that's like if I'm laying on my back, it's an upside-down Christmas tree. But, like, the tip goes out. Yeah, that kind of makes sense. But overall, to have a pull upside down. I'm painting a very weird picture. It's a very normal penis.

It's just if you were to break out like a protractor, there's a slight angle in it. I mean, I have realized about myself. I am fucking blasting off to the left. My left. Your twist? Big time. You know, everybody's got like a little bit, right? But I've just...

I have no hook. Really? Nothing? Yeah, no. Right down the fairway. Just boom. Piped it. You're hitting fairways all day long.

Yeah. Really? Who's a golfer who hits a lot of fairways? It's not Tiger. Let's call it... I wanted to say it's Bubba Watson. I think Rory's a fairway hitter a lot of fairways? It's not Tiger. Let's call it... I wanted to say it's Bubba Watson. I think Rory's a fairway hitter. Rory?

That's good. I think my dick's a Rory McIlroy. My dick's so straight, you can call me McIlroy. I feel like... And the joke usually is to the left. I feel like maybe Jim Carrey said that once, and maybe that's why. But I also feel like maybe guys are hanging out to the left. It's not like... also feel like maybe guys are hanging to the left yeah uh it's uh it's not it's not like it's it's like being pulled it's like it's almost like there's like

an invisible like piece of string that's just pulling it that way like if it were a puppet right if it were a puppet and i was like puppeteering my dick i would just be like left-hand dominant and just always pulling it this way and i've come to learn this about myself in years oh you're not even maybe that's why you're a righty righty pound guy trying to straighten it out yeah you would think i would be pulling the other way right i could get into the specifics of it but i don't want to but it does feel like there's just like anatomically i can understand why it's being pulled that way when i look down i'm like yeah that makes sense how uncomfortable is he now that's where it's

personal gold we did that we did the producer cam uh montage if you will super cut from the last episode where i was talking about sucking dick and all that shit i asked me during radio it was what was that about what were you cringing about and i just said so many things so it was not one thing it's just but it was mostly me blowing cavemen. Yeah, that was definitely the hard hand and face. Right. But yeah, I mean, in recent years, in this digital age of occasionally Snapchatting, snapshotting my penis,

at certain angles, I'm like, this thing is flying off the highway. I'm breaking through the median. I'm off-road over here. You're like a girl who's like, no, this isn't my angle. This isn't my side. Yeah. This is my bad side.

For real. It's like, whew. I almost need to, like, I'll tell you what. If the G-spot was directional instead of in, I'd be, like, the best at sex. I need to, like, I need to turn. I need to have sex, like, perpendicularly. Yeah, you got to play to your hook. I need to turn I need to have sex like perpendicularly and then I'll be hitting him you gotta play to your hook

yeah when you're golfing you just gotta turn that way I'm just gonna shift my angle and you're gonna be coming all night long shit you almost got someone deported today huh I did yeah I choose to believe that that man got deported

I choose to believe he didn't get deported I bet you do but I choose to believe that you man got deported. I want you. I choose to believe he didn't get deported. Well, I bet you do. But I choose to believe that you assured this man he was good and that, like, he pulled up at home and ICE was there, like, threw him in a cage and sent him home. I mean, look, let's just be straight up. There's a chance that happened. There's like a, I would call it a 50-50 chance. Let me explain myself. Let me explain myself, if I may.

So I get in the lift today it's a little hotter than than usual i've been walking to work because it's been nice brisk i mean it's actually very nice today yeah well it's like that was like a high set of mid 70s already shit okay like it was you know this all week it's been 60s mid 60s so a 10 degree in different uh 10 degree increases is a strong difference and uh so I call a Lyft. I'm a Lyft guy. And I get down. The guy's sweating. Guy in the car is just sweating. Turns around to me and he's like, do you mind if I call my lawyer?

And I said, yeah, yeah, sure, no problem. In my head, three stars. And he's got the thing on. Like it's not even music. He's like, it's like's just it's a speakerphone yeah and it's just bringing he never gets in contact with anybody makes probably like i mean by the way that's kind of weird i feel like you know i got my lawyer on speed dial right now yeah i don't know otherwise like yeah let me call my lawyer the same way you're like let me call my my mom

my uncle who are at risk is my right that's your you have you everyone has a guy who's a family member or a friend who like be past the LSAT. That's my legal consultant. It took pre-law for a year. If you're at risk for getting deported, you might know a lawyer. Well, I guess white people don't need this, but maybe everyone else might not have their lawyer on speed dial. And so we're going cross town, so it's a little while. But in the cross town time, he makes about three calls.

I hear every goddamn ring. And he never once connects to anybody and he's like still panicking and he turns around he's like do you know about the security card theft uh security number threat i said i did take pre-law um and he got your charlie kelly on i was like i was like no man i don't know anything. He's like, I keep getting calls. They say they take my security number, and I'm in trouble. I'm going to get deported. And I said, oh!

I was like, dude, that? You're good. That's a scam. That's a common scam. That's been going around. You're totally fine. It was like I told this. I definitively proved to this guy there was heaven.

A weight was lifted off his shoulders. Oh, yeah. He was so happy. Oh, my God. Thank you, my friend. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. I was like, dude, don't even worry about it.

It's like that's a bit like everyone's getting scanned with that. You are. You're good. Don't waste. Don't spend dollars on your lawyer. You're fine. And he's like, thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Drops me off right at the front door. Walk up the stairs. Get out of breath. waste don't spend dollars on your lawyer you're fine and he's like thank you thank you thank you drops me off right right at the front door walk up the stairs get out of breath i sit down at my desk and i was like oh boy really hope that was a scam yeah this is seinfeld this is seinfeld getting a boo deported remember i mean that's you can't as a white man you can say these things someone calls you up and says give me your social security number uh you say get the fuck out of here i might want to delete this like i feel really bad about this this guy's back in pakistan right now he is back in the middle east as we look it's a scam i'm right it was it's a very like if it was coming from a place where i was like i goddamn i can't hear another phone ring i'm just gonna tell this guy i lie and get him

fine it is it did not come from that place. It came from a place trying to help and relieve a guy. There are scams that do that. But I'd imagine most scams are at least somewhere rooted in truth. They don't leave you a voicemail like, we're going to deport you. It's like, sir, you need to call it. It's like the deportation police. Right.

It's like the hospital callers are like, sir, you have AIDS. You'd be like, son of a... But that's a scam man well you don't really have a good francis got his cancer results on a voicemail well i think we're proving my point now yeah and there you go uh i i just you're you're 50 50 you're you're you're nah i'm 70 30 70 30 all right you know what fine 30 chance that you ruined a man's life. Have fun sleeping tonight, pal. I would not rest easy knowing there's a 30% chance that that man, probably by himself, ripped away from his family.

Oh, come on. I don't need this. Now I need someone to tell me that Kevin's doing a scam, and it's all going to be fine, and I can get this weight lifted off my shoulders. I mean, if it's real, what was he really really gonna do about it anyway yeah sure because call his lawyer like you told him not to call his lawyer he calls lawyer he was fucking if he didn't still call his lawyer that's on him yeah yeah yeah you still got it like i can't be like well my passenger was all good but i i do think like that as well well i just hear from one person if one person tells

you what you want to hear right anything in life, you're done. Yeah, that's all we're ever looking for is confirmation. That's 100%. We've been talking about the Amazon and the amount of people who are like, you fucking morons. You listen to one celebrity who said the Amazon. One celebrity? I didn't see any celebrity say that. I didn't even know that either.

I did read an article, but it does sound like the 20 of the oxygen is is a little uh uh inflated and that the fire isn't that big of a deal the amount of people who are like you fucking morons believe everything you read read this they send me a forbes article saying the opposite forbes is like a it's like that's like a fake publication now forbes is barstool it's yeah it's one of those like crowd source like you can oh you you're freelancing we'll publish your shit yeah so the amount of people who are like you can, oh, you're freelancing? We'll publish your shit. So the amount of people who are like, don't believe what you read on the internet, except this over here. Forbes website. What?

Oh, the... Yeah, I'm just doing hand motions. You got to get gold for this. Get the fuck out of my face is what I'm doing. Get out of that fucking Forbes website. I don't give a shit about you. Hand wave goodbye. Yeah, but those people wanted to believe that the Amazon forest fire

was not a big deal. They found one article saying that. That's gospel. That's truth. And I'm down with that. I find an article that tells me that the sports team is good or bad or whatever I want it to be. I'm like, oh, there you go. Yeah, I mean, there are so many TV shows now that is what am I going to go read six articles

and get a fair and balanced view? Come on. I mean, what a waste of time shows now. What, am I going to go read six articles? Get a fair and balanced view? Come on. I mean, what a waste of time that would be. Let me read something that educates me on this one thing. And now let me go seek out something that says the opposite of what I just read. So then I just get canceled out and I'm back in the middle? Right. That's why I don't read anything.

Oh. Gut instinct. That's what I use. Go with my gut. Right here. What do I think? What the old noggin says. I think the brain force on fire is bad. I's what I use. Go with my gut. Right here. What do I think? What the old noggin says. I think the brain force on fire is bad.

I'm running with it. Well, that's the other thing, too, is you can kind of, for this specific case, are we losing 20% of the Earth's oxygen? Probably not. I've always been team trees are going to grow back. No big deal. So I'm the OG, like this is not a big deal. But if you had to, I mean, you would think these people are like rooting for the forest

fire. They're almost like, nah, it's not a problem deal but if you had to i mean these you would think these people are like rooting for the forest fire they're almost like nah it's not a problem what that should burn like set some more trees on fire because it's because i don't care what dicaprio says like well i would prefer to live in a world where all the trees don't burn down yeah i don't think it's that big of a deal but if you had to give me a choice god bless you you keep on sneezing in the middle of this show you lost it oh you were so close you were right on the verge there a lot of sneezing in the middle of this show. He lost it. Oh, you were so close. You were right on the verge there. A lot of sneezing during this program. It's crazy. A lot of sneezing. I was actually talking about that with I think PFT recently

where I think Katie Nolan had on her Instagram story about how it's weird we've never seen an athlete sneeze. And PFT was like, well, I mean, think about it. When's the last time you sneezed on the podcast? I said, all the time. Consistently I sneeze on the podcast. I think until you sneezed on the rundown it's only the second sneeze ever uh the second i had the first and only sneeze ever in rundown history and then i think you

sneezed relatively recently remember you were talking about sneezing and you sneezed i blew my mind no one else in the world cared about this we were talking about sneezing and it happened he manifested this sneeze but yeah you sneeze on this podcast like every fucking day. It's got to be the microphone. I think it's the lights. Well, the lights are definitely what, you know, if you don't know that trick, by the way, just I'll change your life right now. If you're about to sneeze and don't want to lose a sneeze, look into the bright light and it squinches your eyes and you automatically sneeze. It's like that's one of the best things I've ever learned.

I can't i can't imagine there are three people in the world who don't know that yeah if there are that you are the dumbest person if you're listening to this podcast that's one of those things just blew your mind you're the dumbest person that's so real like you know push your tongue up and it gets rid of brain freeze like not so much not really and like all these other tricks like what what is people put like uh something cold on their neck because they're about to throw up it's like that kind of eases you, but not really.

You look at a light when you need to sneeze, you fucking sneeze. Yeah. It's a guarantee. It's the only, yes. That's why everyone knows it. Right. And that's Western medicine as far as I'm concerned.

That's not some like trick. That's like a doctor invented that. But yeah, you got a guy deported. Yeah. But speaking of scams. I'm getting scammed for a free iPhone. Right. Well, that's what we're going to say is

scams are getting too advanced and it's not fair anymore there or is it do you think scams are getting too advanced because i remember being 12 laughing at people getting trojan horse and nigerian prince and stuff like that now i'm 31 i'm starting to fall for him do you think that is they are getting more advanced which is what i'm'm blaming? You're getting stupider. Or it's just like we're getting out of the technology age. I mean, like at some point you have to understand that you will no longer be savvy. You will no longer be technologically or socially savvy, and that's what's happening right now. You're also just getting like aptitude and intelligence-wise, you're getting stupider. So you're getting less advanced, more stupider, and they're getting stupider so you're getting less advanced more stupider

and they're getting better well we let's let's let's use the royal we here i mean you just asked us what started like hey did you guys get the update for the free iphone did you get so on the calendar update i wish it's like gone now which makes it even weirder but yesterday i had a calendar like alert uh blocked off like in my thing that said like your your your iphone is available and a girl that i've kind of been seeing had it as well so so you both got free iphones how lucky yeah i'm like well that's definitely someone scamming like both of us i probably know who it is but i i'm like but i i saw that and i was like you know a free iphone like i just paid eleven hundred dollars for this one if i could get like another one and like sell it or i mean free iphones are like gold free iphones are gold man

in this in this era free iphone is worth me, right now, you know what I just realized right now? I'm going to take my glasses off for this. Where am I looking? I have the most worthless identity in the world. Like, go ahead and steal it. Who would want this identity? Think about it. I have the least desirable identity in the world.

I have, like, a scarlet letter on me publicly professionally i am in debt now i i mean that's pretty much it really but those are two really big fucking things like not one person in the world there are nigerian princes who are like no never mind like like they they send the email and i write back and they're like, we got one. We got a live one. And they look it up and they're like, never mind. They're actually like, let's actually send him in some inheritance. Like this guy could use it. Let's actually follow through on our scam because of this poor bastard. I have the least desirable, least theft worthy identity on the planet Earth right now.

I am going to say something that you're not gonna like i think i agree with you yeah i think even brennan's like the way when i was talking about doming yesterday and you were like making a lot of sense it's a pretty good argument i mean that that's that's how i'm feeling right now it's it's you're like yep yep really hard for me to uh let's try and sell your identity to see if you can get rid of it. If I put my identity on eBay, I don't think there'd be a single bid. Just like social security.

Passport number. What do you guys want? Kevin's like writing up the selling thing. He's like, all right, look. I got debt. I got a left-hooking dick. I got the scarlet letter. Anytime I tweet anything ever, people yell at me.

And my home is covered in Band-Aids. Who wants to tweet at me? Would you like this? I have the least desirable life ever. Because you really, if you're buying the whole cow here, you know, like, yeah, i'm sure there's some people it's like well my salary is higher than yours but if you're assuming all my bills and all my debt and shit trust me it ain't great i'd rather go back to uh 2010 whatever i was making back then and uh and yeah if you got to assume any of my responsibilities kids ex-wife

like annoying boss kids, ex-wife, like, annoying boss. My identity stinks. I just want to let that one marry me. You ever have a moment? You ever have a moment in your life where you realize, yeah,

you only get one life, right? Allegedly out when some once you're dead maybe maybe there's some reincarnation or something but for the most part we're pretty sure you only get one of these yep and um and mine's terrible mine is so not desirable i should kill myself it leads me it leads very well into the we were going to talk dave chapelle and so let's let's break down dave chapelle's uh newest special because he comes in so hot with a bit that i wish i had spoken to dave chapelle ahead of time i could have been that that second half of that joke. I know. I know. Dave Chappelle. That's the first thing I thought of when I watched it.

I might cry this episode. I might actually start to cry this episode. I texted you the first joke is great. Yes. I was like, oh, shit. I can't believe I said that to him. It's actually perfect. It called sticks and stones and like thank god for that that proverb that old adage because that's the only reason i haven't killed myself sticks and stones may break my bones i was like as soon as i texted you that, I was like, oh, shit, I should have said that was a great joke.

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on Chappelle's show, I'm not going to do spoilers if you haven't seen it, but this first joke is unbelievable and it comes in so hot and it's one of those things that like only a guy on dave chapelle's level can touch uh oh i disagree with that but it was oh i think a lot of guys would that would be considered like in poor taste if like some scrub was doing that i think people would be like ooh and a nine like come on that's fucked up and i think with dave

chapelle it's just like go off king really oh yeah i think i think anthony bourdain was one of those weird dudes people were like crying over anthony. I think Anthony Bourdain was one of those weird dudes. People were crying over Anthony Bourdain. Oh, I forgot about Bourdain. Okay, okay. I was thinking the part we were just laughing about. Oh, the vote locker guy? Yeah, yeah.

Nah, fuck that guy. Okay. When Anthony Bourdain died, I get it. It was tragic. He was a very cool dude and influential in the food realm and all that shit. But there were people who were like, you would have thought a family member died. Yeah, for sure. He's still just a celebrity who like but dave chapelle says you know this guy

lived such an amazing life traveled the world eating food beloved rich famous everybody and he fucking killed himself and dave chapelle knows this other guy who's like just living the worst life ever and i mean i don't even remember the details of it but it was it was some dark shit he fell in love in college well we aren't gonna do jokes here but it was it was he fell in love in college and got married got divorced and now he's 42 working in a footlocker dressed in the fucking referee outfit and dave's he was like and not once has that motherfucker considered killing himself now that could have been me that really could have been me you know what it really could have that joke like going forward if he's still ever doing that joke

it should be me like this motherfucker he lost because you know i'm gonna come back around on all this all we just said that dude's got a worse identity than you um maybe i don't know i don't know man because you know people like his i lost my dog too people don't realize that i lost my dog that's true that's that's one that's like not i mean i lost my dog years ago and then the divorce then the marriage goes to shit and then there's the divorce then there's the public scarlet letter and now there's all the financial debt the dog is the kicker man if you were telling that joke and it was like, and he also lost his dog, people would be like, that guy should kill himself. He really should.

I think I should be the new standard for comedians if you're trying to make a if you need a reference to a pathetic existence. I'm your guy. Maybe I should just start doing it. Maybe I'll just get up on stage. Maybe I need a special I should start doing it. Maybe I'll just get up on stage. Maybe I need like a special.

That's just called like pathetic. Kevin Clancy stars in the new special. Can't get that love, that plastic surgery that you got to just keep everything. That's true. Um, but did you like the special as a whole? I did.

I, I, I, um, I thought I was, I was thinking about what you had said and to see if I agreed or disagreed. And what I had said was? That like you had already seen all this material. Now, when you say that, do you mean like the jokes or just the topics?

A little bit of both. I mean I definitely see all the topics. Yeah, I mean the topics are just like current events and what's like kind of i think a lot of the punchline issues and shit but i don't you're talking specific punchlines i mean not specific punchlines but specific ideas of punchlines where it's you know maybe it wasn't delivered as perfectly but i've been on that journey already before huh i've been on like in other specials or just like even just like twitter yeah twitter like i i think like i think the problem with comedy now is that comedians take such a long time to and not not comedy in whole like i think older comedians where it's you're only doing an annual special you take so

much time to cultivate that with relatively topical material and you're doing it in the age where everything is out right now. That shit is over 24 hours later. You're doing it a year later. I didn't want to do topics. Today we're talking about topics for this podcast. I didn't want to do stuff that went viral Monday. Yeah. And this is Thursday.

And I was like, well, that's old. That's old. People have heard that before. No, it is tough. So when you're doing – That's why – and that's why you alluded to like the second half if dave chapelle had a a podcast and he was just up to date and relevant all the time i think that would be the most listened to podcast like ever i think i don't know i wonder like the take where it's like no but you know what do you think dave chapelle you know we've we've come across a couple

guys not on his level but guys who are like oh that dude needs to sit down and write his jokes like that guy needs like time to be funny he can't just like no i don't think that because of the last 25 minutes of this special where it's he's being very he's getting prompted by the audience he's being hysterical and i i think dave is like smarter than he is funny and i think he's yeah incredibly funny but not even smarter uh interesting i just like anytime dave has a talk has talked about something i'm like what's what's dave's take on yes and if you're only giving it to his annual i guess that's how you get such a big paycheck yeah i'm on this thing yeah but it's it's also like i think you could still get i think dave

chappelle could make i don't know 10 million dollars a year if he just had a podcast well that's the thing like uh francesa used to always say in a different way, he was like, why would I give you my thoughts on Twitter for free? You've got to come at 1pm on my radio show when I get my ratings. And I understand that. Dave Chappelle was probably a little bit similar. I could just let my jokes out all the time on Twitter or put them all together.

I wouldn't want him to have a Twitter. I'd want him to have a podcast. I don't want to see him tweeting. A place to see him weekly. There were so many interesting things he said just talking about Trump, talking about how comedy formed him, talking about – I thought it was so interesting. I don't know if you saw the thing with Daphne, the transgender woman. So he tells a story about how – I was watching the Mets game, so I was in and out of the whole thing. He tells a story about how when he was doing shows in San Francisco and there was a transgender woman, Daphne, who was in the crowd.

And he's like, she came to four of my six shows that weekend. She was laughing her ass off. Like she was really getting something off her chest. And he says that, you know, the first show, I was like, oh, boy, I feel bad because she's having a great time. And I got these transgender jokes to unload. And he said she just laughed harder at those and all that. And he said when he got done with the show, he came out and she was sitting at the bar alone. And she's like, Dave, come on.

Come have a drink with me. And he was like, ah, fuck it. Why not? And he's like, I'm sorry. She's like, I feel like you get such a bad rap for your trans jokes. He's like, thank you, but you don't have to say that. It's OK. She's like, no, no, I really mean it.

I read in the New York Times how you had normalized, I think, Michael Jackson. I forget what it was. No, normalized R. Kelly. You normalized R. Kelly by making jokes about him. And I wondered why they don't say you normalized trans people by making jokes about us. And he's like, I never thought about it like that. And I was like, shit, I never thought about it like that. That's a pretty interesting way to say things.

It's just like he has these little insights. And it's great. That's not even Dave Chappelle's perspective. That's a pretty interesting way to say things. Yep, yep. It's just like he has these little insights. Great, like his perspective on things. That's not even Dave Chappelle's perspective. Right, that's someone else. But he could tell, yeah. And it's all like he had to say. What would you ask him if you were in that crowd? Oh, boy.

Because those questions, the first couple were really bad. I thought they were just like, who, like, what's your most inspirational or whatever? And he was like, what advice do you have for someone starting in comedy? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The question sucks. But even that was really funny starting in comedy? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The question sucks. But even that was really funny, his response. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When he said that, it's like,

another person fucking my girl, but I fuck her better or whatever. That one was, Jesus, I don't know if that's an insult. I never thought about doing brain surgery, but I saw this guy do it, but he came in that hard. But that to me,

if you were like, all right, you have one question to ask dave chapelle and like you got to make sure it's something that he respects or wants to answer i don't know what i would ask i mean i wouldn't ask anything but uh i don't i don't know i love the the r kelly bit when you're just like i just don't know that motherfucker it's not that i don't want to you know i just don't know him I just made a joke about him. He really does – like I – there is some stank on his LGBTQ shit though. Yeah, for sure. Where it's like – I don't think he's like homophobic, but I think because of their response, he's now at odds with them.

Even that one for like – for a punchline, what I thought was was you've heard that from just like ignorant people all the time where it's like what if i decide i'm a chinese man now yeah and it's like i wasn't offended by it all that shit but it was just like oh damn i've heard that a million times yeah i mean uh some of it was a little that and i think with the lgbtq shit it was a little like uh hack not hack is like a strong word for a guy like Chappelle, but it was like, you're just making like gay jokes, you know? And like, and I think a lot of it is now

their reaction was so over the top that he's like, fuck these people, not because they're gay, because they're like sensitive and they're fucking with my comedy, but then it almost feels like he's like, it's hateful.

And that did kind of become weird. I was like that, even the way he was like, you know, the alphabet people, they all have their own letter and it was like, damn,

it feels like you really don't like these people. Oh, it's always does like the LG,b and everyone's like oh so many letters and yeah it's just stuff it's there there's a lot of it that i was like again the delivery is different and all that it's chapelle but there was just a lot where it's just like i've heard that i've seen that tweet yeah i've done that and i almost think of it like uh chapelle is shakespeare but on twitter we're all monkeys with typewriter yeah we're gonna hit it we'll get him yeah if you're taking every if you're going yeah when you have access to the entire fucking world of comedy meaning everybody even trying to be funny right you're eventually gonna if you're writing a punch if

you're gonna write a punch line someone is gonna stumble upon that in the week that's beforehand i did i mean to me though like the the highlight of the things I did come in and out of on the game when he was talking about school shootings and he was just like, I'm going to be real with you, son. You're probably going to get got. Like, who else is up there being like, I told my kid, you're probably going to get fucking murdered. That's unbelievable.

That is so fucking good. I say some shit. Stay low and zigzag. probably gonna get fucking murdered that's unbelievable that is so famous dad i say i say i say some shit stay low and zigzag when he was talking about how they were training the shooter yes yeah that kid is sitting here too i actually never even held his hands that that that was great where are we gonna meet yeah when he was like so so where do we meet and the way he just held his hands out it was like that is fucking hilarious man and i i mean i i i've always thought this for a long time but nobody does it better than dave chappelle when you are allowed to incorporate the n-word into your mix it's just so much funnier it is just so much better that you know you could we we were gonna

say guy dude motherfucker whatever when you can hit that and the way he can do it with his voice it just instantly becomes funny i strongly agree with that i'm not asking to use it but i'm saying when someone facts the facts when someone just ends the joke with comma n word i'm like i'm good bloody shit you you and that n word that's funny. No, I mean, I think overall, though, I was probably more into this one than I was his last couple. The last round of two. My favorite one is still the bird revelation, I think. And that's because that's the one that's almost podcast-y to me. He's just sitting there smoking cigs, sitting on the speaker or whatever that was. I thought that one was very funny.

I think he does – he's good. People just be like – they say, oh, it's canceled or whatever. He does controversial things, blah, blah, blah. He does offer interesting insights into things when it's just like, yeah. He kind of does it in this special again where he's talking about how the – you can't hang up a phone with, like, Louis C.K.? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And even the way he, like, did the impression, quote-unquote, of the audience being like, oh, I'm going to dig up something you did, whether it's five years ago, 10 years ago, 15 years ago, and, like, you're going to be ruined. That's you, motherfuckers! Like, that to me is, that is very cliche, I think, in a way, to be like, it's never been harder to do comedy and all that shit. I think that's nonsense.

But I think coming from a guy like Chappelle, I respect hearing that because I think he would know. I think if he's telling me that when he's writing jokes, it's different for him now and harder for him now and whatever. I think that's more fame than comedy. Yeah, probably. But that to me is Dave Chappelle is the biggest, the funniest, the most famous, the weirdest in a way. And to hear his perspective on whether or not that holds true, because I think it's very easy for non-funny people to just be like,

well, the same guy is like, I can't even hit on a girl anymore. I can't tell jokes anymore. You're just not that funny and you're not that like desirable to women that's the problem there exactly but when you are dave chappelle and you know you are funny and he's saying it's tough for me to like try to appeal to this audience i find that interesting i tend to believe that from him then what was he not saying uh i don't i also don't know if he holds back that much i think he might just let it fly being like um like we'll see what fucking happens like i think he definitely knows he's dave chapelle and he's like the best there is so he can get away with it but also i wonder i mean i would be

that that would be my question like dave you know you said it's hard to uh like appeal to the the masses right now like so do you curtail anything, and what would you want to say? Because I can't imagine there's much else. I don't know. Yeah. Unless the original R. Kelly joke was like, I don't think it was that bad. I don't know what else he could be saying. I mean, he said that with Michael Jackson, so I don't think he'd hold that back.

I just took it as. When he talked about that kid. Well, and he did the little boy voice. Well, I got my dick sucked by Michael Jackson this weekend. So he's like, I don't know, man. Sometimes it's just trying to get your butthole looked at. But I took it as all like, yeah, these jokes are acceptable now. But 15 years from now, he might like get put in jail.

Oh, so like – Because things that were fun – like acceptable and funny 10 years ago, 15 years ago, now people are getting murdered for it. This same audience that's laughing right now. I don't know. I mean, I don't know exactly what you're saying, but that's kind of how I took it. He's making these jokes, but somebody 10 years from now is like, he was making light of pedophilia. So when he's, what is he, like 50 years old now? When he's 60, he might be like crucified for that.

Right. Interesting. Yeah, I mean I do think there's some validity to that, and we do have – we got Andrew Schultz on the episode today. He came through and sat down. We talked about his new special, which is exclusively crowd work, which I think is a very cool idea. And he's always thinking big picture and what's next for the comedy landscape and how to produce and uh change and grow and all that shit and he's very much uh of the school of thought of you know anti pc and the audience is is like too over the top and all that shit so some insightful stuff from Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Those girls' faces are hilarious. Let me see the face. I didn't look at their faces. That thing is cavernous. Holy shit, man. That's fucking... An atrocity. I mean, that person, that's just sex crime. That person is a sex...

They need to register as a sex offender as far as I'm concerned. What was... Oh, we're good. Nate tweeted every 45 seconds, there's another, oh my god, randomly in the office. Alright, let's get into these interviews. Was that recording? Yes.

Alright, you know... Can we get a clip of that? Sure. Just to reply to Chaps with? Yeah. That was... That person should be – the person who did it, the person who tweeted it originally, they need to be put on internet probation. I think there needs to be something called internet probation. I think there needs to be like a board that presides over social media and the internet, and you need – the internet's a privilege.

It's not a right. I feel like you need to like have internet privileges you want to tell the people what just happened so there's a open for a surprise picture floating around twitter you know those the way that twitter like it's usually a cute dog yeah like you know the way the the picture gets shrunk for the tweet is like the top half and then you open it up and you know there's something surprising in the bottom half and yeah it's usually cute or like oh my god i couldn't believe that this was like a pack of like what's supposed to be like hot girls taking a hot picture and then and the bottom is just this guy bending over spreading his asshole wide open in his life it's one of the more gaping assholes i've ever

that guy that guy gets absolutely butt blasted every night. That guy gets fucked in the ass. I've seen some things. Tavernous. That's a gaping butthole. You could go spelunking in that butthole. That thing is huge. So Chaps introduced it. Chaps, too.

I might have to put him on probation for introducing that into the Barstool timelines. That is horrendous. What else would you suspend somebody for on the internet? Oh, boy. Just being a reply guy, retweeting. Does reply guy just mean when you're thirsty, replying to every girl? Yeah, I think that's what it really means,

but I use it in a much broader sense. If you're a a well actually guy yeah yeah reply guy someone who someone who replies a reply guy a reply guy to the president yeah that's that's what i'm saying like i think reply guy does usually mean like thirsty but reply guy meaning like i'm trying to get this reply in there so like everyone sees it like if you're if you're a reply scavenger fuck you let's get into these voicemails. All right, let's get into these voicemails. They're brought to you by the farmer's dog. Uh, if you treat yourself right, you feed yourself quality food. You treat yourself to the occasional nice steak, nice dinner. You're always looking at your diet. You're always worried about what you're putting in your body. Well, if you

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to have some happy, healthy meals for you and your pup. What's up, KFC? Probably super bad BC. So I have a wedding gift question. So I guess all my friends have been writing down what they get from like everybody like for their wedding. And they just like re-gift the same thing to the person.

Like, so if you give a hundred bucks, you get a hundred bucks back. Now I've gone to all these weddings solo. So should I expect twice as much when they come with a plus one? Let me know your thoughts. Thanks, bye. You got to cover your plate. Yeah, I think that's an interesting, I actually thought about that just the other day because that does matter.

I don't think people think that far and they just write it down. We have like a spreadsheet, but you're not taking into account one or two people. You got to cover your plate. I mean, you have to cover your plate. I'm not going to, I don't think I'm going to write things down. We're not going to,

girls are going to. But I think I'd be like, why are you writing that? What are we doing? We're just going to get them a nice gift. I mean, that is, that's the polite and generous way to do it.

But I think going tip for tat was stuff. When somebody, when somebody like shafts you, it is kind of like sometimes, I mean, that's the polite and generous way to do it. But when somebody like shafts you, it is kind of like sometimes. I mean, there was definitely a couple people I was surprised. And I was like, oh, a word? Okay. But I'm never going to be like that makes me want to give them an even bigger gift to make them feel like an asshole. Yeah. So I want to write it down and then go over the top with it. Here's a fucking house.

Here's a grand cash. But, you know, the girls want to do that, I think. The girls do that. I think it's for thank you cards. You write down, yeah, who brought you stuff. Oh, I mean, I'm sure. Well, what? You want to be able to say, like, thank you for the $250?

I mean, I think that's usually what they. That I get. Because, I mean say like thank you for the 250 dollars i mean i think that's usually what they that i guess that i would because i mean the thing i don't think you've referenced the cash amount in the thank you card oh no you'd write it down but you'd say like generous or and if it was a gift you thank them for the thing that they gave you yeah it's just cash but not everybody gives cash i think i think well all the weddings up around us are always going to be cash mostly and i i think that it's it's you maybe you're saying this for the thank you but i think it's people want to know what who gave them what uh i would never think i would write down presents so i can say i mean thank you guard is very easy and

methodical or it's just like thank you so much for coming yeah enjoy having you can't wait to use the blank yeah and like so i would write for that so i can have that same sentence of how you know the personal anecdotes you know i'm not writing the same fucking card every time. But I don't think I care how much I know. I won't care how much it costs. I have like a standard gift. I get everyone like the same gift. Yeah.

Well, I think it's interesting, too. It's like, you know, if I came to your wedding in 2010, you're probably gonna get a different gift if I came now. Right. You you know it's like people have their means and life situations and whatever like um meaning i'm fucking broke now and i got bills you ain't getting shit um so like it's i don't think it should be held to this like tit for tat sort of thing and i think it's actually pretty petty if you're like well that person stiffed me so i'm gonna stiff them right back it's like pretty petty if you're like, well, that person stiffed me, so I'm going to stiff them right back.

It's like you should just be a generous person because that's what you want to do. It really shouldn't be like I'm giving you a gift because you gave me a gift. It should be I'm giving you a gift so you can start a happy life with your wife. Exactly. And I do think – but part of it I think is you should cover your cost of your wedding. Yeah, you should cover the cost of the plate. To an extent. Like, if someone's an asshole and they go get the most over-the-top lavish wedding ever

and it's $400 per plate, like, fuck you. I'm sorry. But I think you should take into account one versus two people. That's a pretty standard thing. I think you should, yes. But I also think that guy who went to everyone's wedding solo... I don't think he's going to go well for you. I don't think you're going to get back twice. No one's going to

2X your gift. It ain't happening. So, I don't know. Bring a date next time if you want to stack those gifts in the future. Kevin, Jonathan, what's up? Quick hypothetical here. Would you rather be able to choose who you could have sex with only one person for the rest of your life uh it could be anybody's celebrity so um let's say you

choose sofia vergara you know you snap your fingers she's there you have sex with her and then when you're done she disappears no other interaction with her whatsoever um also meaning if you ever want to have a wife or other relationship with random people you meet and have sex, you can't do it. That's the only person. Or would you rather marry that person, be with them forever, take them out on dates, do the whole marriage thing? Well, you never get to have sex with that person or touch them in any way sexually ever. Meaning if you want to have sex ever again in your life, you either have to convince that person that, you know, you could have sex with other people or you have to essentially just cheat on them.

Let me know what you think. Later. I think this is a good question. I got a question for you. So you either can have sex with the person forever and never get any other benefits or you can get all the other benefits but never have sex and it can be the person of your choice I think you gotta take the non-sex

and pick just like a baller ass chick yeah I agree with that I thought the question was gonna be you could choose who you have sex with blah blah blah and you get one person celebrity or you just get regular life yeah in that or you just get regular life yeah in that case

I would take regular life just because I wouldn't be able to make the choice we kind of talk about this on radio where I just put a gun to my head and choose one person forever

I got no fucking idea yeah but I think anybody at that point you're like a monkey throwing a dart at a dartboard I think you're going to be happy

with a certain pool of people yeah like if I just told you right now it's Emily Rat radikowski maybe that's not your number one but i think you'd be okay with that i'd probably be okay with it yeah i think if you picked any victoria secret model you'd be okay with that i think that's actually the way to go pick like uh uh servia morgar is a good answer because i feel like she gets she gets down except in that case now that i i know my buddy joe i'd be like i can't do that to joe um i i think if you pick like a chick who you know like kate beckinsale you know how she's like when she's always kind

of alluding to how she gets freaky deaky kate beckinsale's a good one yeah like olivia wilde always olivia wilde's always my choice for these you know you're having threesomes with her she's a lesbian and everything she's ever played. She also says that, what is it, they fuck like Kenyans? Yeah. That's the line. Right. You say a line like that, how Jason Stake loses all his weight is to go to the gym? No, I just fuck him.

I'm going to hire a personal trainer slash sex partner. It's Olivia Wilde. Kate Beckett said joking around about gangbang porn. Very cool with that what did she say she went on uh like kim ohm was talking about how i think she was talking about how there's like a a photoshop like of her like a sex picture of her and then like she was basically alluding to like she was like so and i think her mom saw or something that and he was like

she said that well there was like multiple participants in this and it was like oh you watching like you're watching that dirty dirty girl so i i think in that case rather than regular life just be a regular old me like trying to bang regular chicks or even if it's just one but it's like the hottest freakiest girl i think i'm gonna take that i think i would just i would just take like a really old lady i would just if it's the what the wife thing yeah well so that that to me like i'm taking the queen of my baller ass chick i don't mean like a hot girl no well fucking hang out with a hot girl for the i want to hang out i don't want to hang out with anybody well if you're taking the sex you take a hot girl right yeah and if you're taking the uh I said if you're taking the other side, you take a baller chick. Yeah.

And that's why Sofia Vergara is good for both because she makes $100 million a year. But I would take the Queen of England. And I would just be like, I ain't fucking you, bitch. But I'm living in the Buckingham Palace. I'm living like a royal motherfucker. I'm hanging out with Harry. We're rubbing elbows with the elites of the world. So that's the Oprah sketch.

Yes. Oprah's a great one. I think I take Virginia McCaskey. Who the fuck is that? The lady who owns the Bears. Okay. Sure. Or like Martha Ford.

Her name's probably not Martha, but also probably is. Like one of them. I'd be like, you're a billionaire. You own a sports team. How about I think she's dead now but marge shot who's that she owned the reds remember that chick the old like foul-mouthed lady who owned the cincinnati reds i think the i think the queen of england i think oprah you don't know her no she got suspended just like i think being racist yeah she was just like an old

nasty bitch she was a real cunt. Yeah, I think that if you're not picking... If you're going with sex, I understand it. You pick, like I said, the sexiest, freakiest, hottest chick. If you want to just live a great life... There is absolutely under no circumstance would I be choosing sex in this game. None whatsoever. I think there's a chance i pick the sex i i can understand the idea of living uh you know because and then the other side is

basically like you know if you play these games right you're not having sex with anybody at all and you know i know you don't care about that but i'd like to have some sex no okay no you know what's up kFC fight Super Bowl BC so me and my girlfriend were chilling we've been going out since like high school and

I mean we kind of averaged like one one fucking night I figured I was normal like seriously just

trying to go to sleep you know what I mean it's not nothing crazy we've been going out for eight years so I mean it's pretty regular

but our group of friends that we've been hanging out with eight years. So, I mean, it's pretty regular. But our group of friends that we've been hanging out with since high school, none of them have sex on a regular. They're like two to three business days is what one of them said in between. So, like, are we weird? How much sex should you be having in, like, your mid-20s as a regular couple? Hey, what's up? I'm super rich. My friends don't have as much money. Should I have less money?

Yo. I mean, I just whipped out the calculator. I mean, 365 days a year times eight years. He's fucked this girl 3,000 times. That's got to get pretty fucking repetitive at some point, huh? But for this guy to

think that into like your late 20s into a lengthy relationship that two to three days in between is like a drought brother it's gonna get a lot worse than that i've never like when i'm like dating someone i've never gone like more than a day yeah but i've had you've never really been like older right i mean yeah i've been like 28 and how long did you date her i don't know like a couple close i don't know like a year yeah yeah that's not enough if you're if you're dating eight years eight years and you're still having sex once every two days you consider yourself like in the top one percent like that's lottery type shit i i always just feel like i should like it's on like i'm not i'm like i i think maybe i just date sexual deviant i'm always like i know they want to have sex it's not like i'm like well i've never like trying to do convincing like it's fx i'm

like i'm the one like i gotta perform for this yeah yeah yeah no i gotta put food on their table right now mama bears got it like you didn't like praying mantis type shit like yeah they're just gonna eat my head if i don't fuck her yeah i i have to have sex yeah but i i mean i i don't think you've had anything. You haven't lived with a girl, right? No. And you haven't had anything like a year is a long time, but not really. And you haven't done it like later in life, like late 20s, early 30s. I think two to three days is pretty fucking solid. Yeah, I don't think two to three days is long.

But it's just like when you go to bed, you have sex. Yeah, I mean, that's the way this guy described it. He's like, you know, you gotta go to sleep. It's like jerk it off. You don't have to jerk off. It's like, well, we're in bed, we have sex. No, I think that changes when you move in, bro. Perhaps. We'll find out. Yeah. I just

think that everybody usually thinks that they've broken the system. Like, like nah not me not my girl and then uh just eventually everyone loses loses it's lesser and i know i'm coming from the other extreme so i'm jaded in the other way but i do think that's more uh the norm at least for almost everybody i know in my life i don't know anybody who's dated anybody let's say over a couple years who is happy with their sex life just flat out i don't know a single person that lives together and all that shit so eight years every day is uh like i wouldn't want to do that yeah i mean they're like i i don't want

to have like daily like sillyilly rabbit. That's not. Well, he said he was averaging. So maybe he stacks it up. Eight years in, you're having sex multiple times in a day? Relax, try hard. Mr. Rover. But also, if you start dating at 16, it's different. Yeah, is that what he said?

I don't know. If you're mid-20s and been dating for eight years, what? But I don't know. If you're fucking every single day when you're in high school, then that's almost weird, right? i don't know mid-20s i've been dating for eight years what but i don't know that also like if you're fucking every single day when you're like in high school and that's almost weird right yeah that's hard you're like sneaking out and like fucking in cars and shit at that point um but again that could be the average thing that's really all right we'll bang out seven on a saturday and i'll see you next week i remember um i remember going on cosmo Radio, and the dude who was hosting that show was like – this was like right around when I was getting engaged.

And he was kind of like – it was like a sex show and all that shit. And he was like, yeah, how's it going? I was like, fine. It's good. All the time. And he was like, oh, really? He's like, man, I've dated girls for like, I don't know, I'll go like a couple months like once we're serious. And I was like, oh, word.

Okay, well, then me too yeah like he was the first guy that ever just publicly admitted and he was done on the airwaves too like yeah like you're not gonna fuck as much anymore and i was like oh okay good because i was convinced that like i was the only one and oh so all my friends are lying too okay good all right good good to know good to know you almost you almost let go at that point and then then then you really stop once. Once I felt like I didn't need to keep up with the Joneses, I was like, oh, they're not fucking either. They're not fucking either. And then I just never did.

That's the dream, baby. Sounds like it. John might actually break the mold. He might love marriage because all the things that everybody hates, he's like, this sounds great. You're never going to have sex? Amazing. Never going to talk to me yes i'm never gonna go out and do anything fun great i enjoy sex i just i get pressured into it a lot you know john gets raped i do i do i think every gets raped. I think every guy gets raped pretty often.

Really? I think you're so wildly off base, it's almost comical. Okay. Well, I've been thinking about this. Right? So no means no. Right. Oh, boy.

Here we go. How many guys, when a child is first proposed, say yes, absolutely? Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. So then. Oh, yeah. Everybody gets raped. Then you're manipulated. Right. You're tricked into it. You got to have a kid. No, yeah. So then, everybody gets raped. Then you're manipulated.

Right. You're tricked into it. You gotta have a kid. No, that's true. A kid you said no to. Yeah. A kid you said no about. And then you got,

what, 20 year investment that's gonna cost a couple million dollars that you didn't even want. That sounds like, that sounds like a bad rape. But that's not gonna be you,

by the way, right? Not gonna be me. Not gonna be me. Not gonna be me. If you flip the whole, like, timing of when you have to have sex to try to have a kid on a woman like if you were like listen it's at this time you have to absolutely have to do it like never this is what i'm saying yeah no it goes on both big guys get raped all the time when you get

married men mostly that that ovulating schedule type shit i I mean, I assume I didn't have to go through that, but I don't think I'd be able to do that if she was just like, it's the 27th, 6 p.m., get that fucking dick up with the curve into the left and you put it in me right now. I'd be like, I'm sorry. Not now, not now. I forgot you didn't have to do any of that. Yeah, I mean, unfortunately.

Unfortunately, we're just popping them out. Yeah, that to me, I think every guy is probably like, I have to have sex tonight. Fuck. That really, if it was different for girls, there would be no appropriation. She's going to be really mad at me if I can't have sex tonight. Yeah.

But if I don't perform tonight, she's going to be pissed at me. I don't want to make her angry. I guess I'll do the sex. I'll come in you, I guess. I mean, look, if we're just talking on fucking Webster's Dictionary definitions here, that's an R word. That's sexual assault. You caught an R word there. This is just a fact.

I'm just, I'm not opining. I'm just saying, look at the dictionary. It's not an editorial. Look what the words mean. That's what happens. You make, she's going to, if I'm not, if I don't have sex with her, she's going to be really mad at me. Maybe hit me. That's an R word.

She's going to hold me down and do it to me. Yeah. Hey boys, I got a question for you. A friend of mine is doing the online dating thing and she was proposed a question by some guy that kind of looks like Kip from Napoleon Dynamite. I don't know if he's an hedge fund manager or a doctor, but besides the point,

he wanted to know before they met up for their date if she would fuck a stranger. Now, it's obviously a hard no for her, but I guess my question is why? I've been out of the game for a while, and I know this is not a thing, but does he want her to smell like Badoosie or is this just like something deep-seated from his past? I don't know. Thoughts? Did he say Badoosie? I definitely heard Badoosie.

Is that like black dick pussy? It's like butt pussy area. Okay. Butt pussy? Butt pussy? I heard Badoosie. Badoosie pussy area. Okay. Butt pussy? Butt pussy? I heard butt dussy. Butt dussy, yeah. Okay.

So wait, they met on a dating app, and then he was like, would you have sex with a stranger? I think he's looking for like a threesome, right? Like he wants, he's not like looking for a relationship. He's like, I have a girl who wants to have a threesome. Are you down with that? I mean, he didn't say a female stranger, right? He just did a stranger either way i think that's like i want some group sex i thought it was just like him

i'm a stranger would you fuck me so hypothetically would you fuck guys you meet on uh dating that's what i figured i thought you were talking about him he's wondering if he can get some badussy that to me i that read to me is like i are you interested in like swinging almost i guess so i mean whatever it means probably isn't good i probably wouldn't go on this date someone's just randomly asking me if you had sex with a stranger it's probably also like which which of the apps did you meet under what pretense did you meet you know what's your profile like strangers that's what i said yeah he thinks that it's the person being like, so, are you down in strange sex with people you just met on a phone?

I think that's more angling for a threesome or some sort of swinging cock situation. All of it's some kinky shit, though, I think. That's what I think is going on. I think it's just a guy who wants to get his dick i think is going on i think it's just a guy who wants to get his dick sucked by a stranger i think it's just a guy who's like do i have to

buy this dinner or are you just gonna come over and fuck me so do you think that would just be phrased as like so do you want to fuck yeah but i think it's kind of one of those fucking strangers tricky way she says yeah sure like well i'm a stranger yeah maybe that's like the follow-up punch line yeah either way that i can can tell you what's going on there. They're looking to fuck. They're not trying to find a husband for happily ever after. Also, I wouldn't meet with this person, but just prude bitch. Last one.

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So I'm just watching The Walking Dead right now, and I have a hypothetical for you guys, or just kind of a scenario in a sense. How long would you last in a zombie apocalypse? My friends and I were talking about this the other day, and we all said maybe in a couple days, but then we died because we don't know how to use weapons. Another thing that could come to mind is the lack of faith in other groups of people.

All right, so let me get your thoughts. Well, yeah, as we know, if you've ever watched an episode of Walking Dead, it's not the zombies you've got to look out for, it's the humans. The humans are the true monsters of this world. The zombies are a very basic people. Is that one of the messages of the show? Oh, yeah, every time. Every time, the humans are worse than the of this world the zombies are a very basic people the messages of the show yeah every time every time the humans are worse than the zombies the zombies

are very simple they just want to eat you the humans get manipulative and backstabbing and they think you're safe and then they kill you or they're trying to eat you whatever it may be the humans what you got to watch out for they've literally been recycling that for 10 straight seasons it's stunning it's like oh rick and the and the gang found like find some shelter and meet a new crew but it's not what it seems to be like it's they're safe finally or are they so uh but i i mean listen there's a zombie apocalypse i'm finding the nearest pharmacy i'm breaking in I'm hunkering down I'm eating all the food and the water and doing all the drugs

and then when all that expires I kill myself that's it I have myself already in CVS when does it depends when the when the zombie apocalypse starts

if it starts on a weekend I probably won't find out about it for a few days and like like if it starts Friday night, Monday morning, I might look out the window. That's how I check the weather. Monday morning, I'll look out the window,

see if there are any umbrellas. I'll probably see a few zombies. I'll go, oh boy, zombie apocalypse. I'll never leave my apartment. Until that, however long that lasts, right? Yeah, I'd probably survive until I die. No, well, I guess, like... Of old age.

You think that, like, zombies can't get upstairs and shit like that, I guess? I just think I wouldn't make enough noise for them to come care about me. Like, zombies don't go looking for you. But you gotta go get food eventually. That's the problem. Eventually, you gotta leave that apartment. I agree with... The bodega is quite literally across the street.

I could... But the bodega guys will be zombies. And then they're like following you. Nah, I don't think so. No? Nah, he's a cool guy. He'd leave you alone or he wouldn't become a zombie? He probably wouldn't become a zombie. He seems like he knows what he's doing.

And he's just going to keep the bodega open to sell to normal people that are also being sour patch kids? My guy doesn't fuck around. I was in there the other night at like 11.30. He's like, you still make sandwiches? For you, my friend, anything. Gets back there, fucking whipping up sandwiches. Big party

comes in. I also had ice cream and chips on the table. He accidentally charged them for the other people and put them in their bag. I said, also had uh ice cream and chips on the table he accidentally charged them for the other people and put them in their bag he said i said where's where's my ice cream sandwich and my and my nachos he goes that was yours my friend i charged the other people go get yourself one for free for free and he was you know just hooked me up my guy my guy's gonna be like he'll probably call me yo john not a zombie come on over come on over i got i got sour patch kids in a tin i'll hook you up exactly exactly what it'd get me i'll give you a couple of the

the shitty bottles you know what i actually would recommend you do is you almost come up with like a device like a tube like a pipe that runs from your window to his bodega and you guys can kind of like shuffle things between it that way there's way there's no exposure to the zombies. He can seal up his bodega and live in there and you can get your shit through a tube. Making a lot of sense, Kevin. Wouldn't it be kind of cozy, this zombie apocalypse, if you're in like a high-rise apartment building?

They're not going to get to you. They're not going to get to you. You do have to figure out how to survive. Sustenance, food, water. But if not, it would be the ultimate team indoors moment. Like I cannot leave here. No pressure. When you look out the window and it's cold, it's snowing, it's rainy, it's slushy, and you're like, yes.

I do not have to leave the apartment. Well, what if instead of you looking outside, it's not just cold and rainy. It's flesh-eating monsters are everywhere. Like I am doing nothing but Netflix and masturbation today. That would be great. That's right, this movie. Yeah. It's not an apocalypse that doesn't really affect you.

It's just like a minor inconvenience. The one bodega that stays open during the zombie apocalypse. That's so easy to set up, too. Like, in the beginning, I'm best friends with my guy. Yeah. So you're meeting Usman, just hanging out. And Usman's like... You do like a milk carton with a string like i was singing a bucket i drop yeah and yeah i just pops it in he's like oh good my friend yeah i was are you are you beneath i

was thinking across the street it is across the right so yeah we can take some liberties with the movie yeah i guess but i think a tube crossing the street's funnier and uh and then they're just like they're clawing at your tube and you just got a little pulley system going i mean uh that's the whole movie nothing ever happens in that movie it's like panic room except like we're having fun could you imagine that though like i'm you know you're you're you call me and you're like how's it going man i'm holed up in a cvs like i'm high on fucking whatever i got with like an ak like i'm holding it down at the cvs man ah come on over i got all the drugs and the snacks and the food you can have don't worry they're never gonna get us and you're like i'm uh i'm watching the chapelle show yeah i'm good man good me and usman are gonna make some

uh three dollars sub yeah usman's pretty pissed off about me getting his brother deported but we hushed that over i did notice i had the same accent i did notice i only have one i got the one thing i learned get up arcelor gold i like i had to address it i was like the bahamians in this store will have jamaican accents that's the only one i can do my man you got irish jamaican and you do a little like a middle eastern there yeah what you guys want a special ride what is it you want yeah i'll get you a red stripe i'll get you the blue and the white that's very irish and jamaican there it's very mixed by the way i didn't notice until uh like a couple days after the fact when i uh had to run out of radio the other day and you had to do the last ad

and you just paused and you were like it's brought to you by it's like ah he did it again motherfucker he did the irish accent again all right andrew schultz is here let's talk to him uh schultz is one of the most successful comedians in the game right now who has fully embraced the digital side of things the re renegade style. He just dropped a new special the same exact day as Chappelle, Crowd Work Only, the Crowd Work Special. It's nothing but him interacting with the crowd, which is where I think he really shines. If you ever watched any of his stuff, he just roasts people in his crowd. So it's a very cool special the way they chopped it all up

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Why is everybody so sad here? What do you mean? I hope we're recording. Every time I walk in here, it's like dark or some shit like you think it's all like beer pong you would think you would think it's beer pong and dip tapping it's negative energy yes big time right what is going on that's top down brother it comes from the top down holy shit like there's a weight when i walk it's a weight this guy he's a perceptive one he knows see this See, this is why I like you, Schultz, because you think next level. You observe.

You feel things. You get it. You experience it. And that is, I mean, there's different management styles, right? That's how Portnoy wants it. He wants everybody worried that today's their last day. That might increase productivity,

but I mean, I couldn't work in that environment. It's interesting because I'm polar opposite from him. Yeah. And in some ways, I think that like as big as we are. So Dave is always kind of like, well, why would I ever change anything? Like, look around. Going pretty good. The works don't change it.

And in my mind, I'm like, well, if we did, if we cooperated a little more and did some more positive shit that maybe we'd be even further along. Right. But, you know, and the way he runs his little group is kind of like rule with fear. And we're a little more friendly, right? Yeah. But his shit is always done. Nobody takes advantage of him.

Of course. And, you know, sometimes on our side, it's like, oh, all right, you can get to that later. Oh, don't worry about that screw up so i i i've learned as i've gotten older that sometimes being like the bully or or being a little more ruling with fear is actually kind of uh it gets it done effective yes yes but you're you can't um you'll never have i don't want to knock no no you never have i don't care about i don't care about knocking him i care about knocking people below him you're never gonna have real talent working for you because in order to have real talent you have to let them operate outside the box and if you have people operating within your box that's gonna be fine but the second they get big enough they're leaving

your box and that's kind of where like he leaves like kfc radio alone part of my take does their thing you're kind of you're allowed to operate within but then you're still underneath this like umbrella of of uh doom yeah i mean it's it's it's but it's weird because it's hard to yeah i don't know i i don't criticize people more successful than me that don't make any sense right right but but um i don't know do you find joy in that it's hard being a leader though and It's hard being a leader, though, and a boss. Being a leader is easier than being a boss. Well, you know what's funny? So we had this guy.

His name is Brett. He started out as our office manager. He was booking flights and fucking making sure there's coffee. And then he kind of moved on to like, I think he was analyzing traffic and all that shit. And Dave, he was Dave's punching bag for, what, three years now? Four years? Whatever it's been. Yeah, three years now four years whatever whatever it's been and uh you know to an extent sometimes and i was like damn like relax dude you know yeah

and brett uh he's moving on to another company now and like he put in his notice and dave wrote this like glowing blog about him and had him on the radio show being like you know you were an idiot sometimes but you're great and it's like as soon as he as soon as somebody leaves even with francis that things ended poorly yeah privately on the phone he had like great things to say to francis and like wished him well i'm like why don't you ever fucking say that when people are working here man it almost feels like um feel like the scene in the office when michael scott's like talking about pam and he's like look she's a great artist and a great woman and really funny i'd never say it to her face why would you say it to her face that's you know what i mean that's like look she's a great artist and a great woman and really funny I'd never say it to her face why would you say it

to her face that's you know what I mean that's like some real like Irish parenting yeah it's funny that he's a Jewish guy

that's the least Jewish yes right that's actually why at the end of the day I think I can operate within it because this is in my blood

but some of these other people why would you give me positive reinforcement what would you do that you want would you give me positive reinforcement? What would you do that for? You want to plug in? There's a thing over there.

But yeah, it's just an odd... But this is why I like having you in because it's an insightful conversation always with you. I thought it was me at first. No. I thought it was me.

Nobody else has ever really said that. I don't think anyone else has ever picked up on it. That everyone here is kind of like. They feel it, bro. Yeah? They're just not saying it?

It's got to be. It's got to be. It's a palpable energy. But I think some people are just oblivious to those things in general. Maybe. You walk into a bar. You walk into a party, a room, whatever it is. We've gone the opposite.

We've had people come in and say they love the energy. Yeah. They want a job, though. It's like, no. Like, Len Howard was one. He was like, you guys got such a good energy. And our old office which was a little different it was more well lit this has like the um it has like a draconian design to it where everything's just cement yes it's like here it's like you're in a very industrial yeah the whole place yeah whereas the older office

had the hardwood floors everything was bright bar and all that shit yeah there was there was a little more to that office as far as as far as fengui goes, here it's very like you're walking into Pacino's office in Devil's Advocate. Here's a vibe. There's a feeling. It's sick. I'm just talking about the energy. But again, you can't have a frat house because nothing gets done at the frat house. Well, a lot of people think that it is like we're just like, you know, playing beer pong and like fucking chicks.

And it's like, no, we're sitting down writing blogs. It's just the job in a lot of ways. You know what it is? It's like anybody, it doesn't matter what type of personality you have, like the military can turn you into a productive person within their system. He's very Belichickian. Belichickian, right? So you can take anybody and then get it out.

It's like your management strategy, which is probably similar to my management strategy, we have to be diligent about HR. Yes. I can't hire someone without integrity. Right. Because my assumption is you have integrity, so you're going to get the fucking work done. Right. So when you don't get

the work done, you make me tell another adult to do their job. Right. That is embarrassing. Right. Just do it yourself and get your own shit done. To look at tell another adult to do their job. That is embarrassing. Just do it yourself and get your own shift on it. To look at a fucking adult and tell them to do what they know they should be doing? Why would you make me feel like, why would you make you feel like that?

Why are you doing that to me? Why are you doing that to us? It's just so awkward. I resent you making me tell you to do what you're supposed to do. That's why I'm super strict about the type of people that i hire right it's like you got to be high integrity really invested this ain't a fucking like hobby for you this is your whole life so like did you hire kaz and akash you know those are my guys right okay but like akash he's like that like if i call him tonight and be like yo we gotta write we gotta have something up in the morning it's up in the morning yeah like we will figure it out you know and then kaz was definitely

someone who i like knew on the periphery but i just liked him i thought right so you guys are kind of like the i'm talking about like the coast and then underneath that and we're trying to go out from there right right right mark this guy got on so it's like do you throw out like are you like apply here or are you like i know this guy let this guy. Let me see if he wants a job. Yeah, it's more like people like we work together organically. They might cut up some clips. Everybody who's ever like I've ever hired has just like done something for me first. Right.

I don't ask that, but they're like, this is what I provide. Yes. Not even like a stranger. Alex was a court officer and he was just cutting clips for me and his name is Alex Anderson that's his fake name and I had a comedian friend named Alex Anderson so when he tweeted me

I was like oh that's my comedian friend he was just making shit for me thinking it was my boy for like weeks and then I found out it's this Puerto Rican guy

right and I'm like oh shit but you're good and he had no fucking clue what he was doing but he was working his ass off and he was on YouTube figuring shit out every night here yeah dude it's like give me self-made

don't give me no fucking like you went to like theater or film school because you're too regimented shit's obsolete too by now it's like that doesn't even matter anymore youtube buddy yeah right just figure it out with your fucking phone it doesn't matter figure it out like yeah that's what we did we just figured shit out because shit does adapt so quickly that it's like whatever you did learn whatever you thought was going to be the thing is no longer the thing and do you have the ability to to change that on the fly now if you're the type of guy who's watching youtube and teaching yourself you do that's the type of guy who was like well i have a diploma you fucking know what are you gonna do for me right it means nothing to

me i just need guys who could move and also we're creating the thing so now we're at the point where like we're the tip of the spear so we need to innovate the thing right every single time make the thing right so everything is next yeah this is what i want to do how are we going to do it all right i'll figure it out that's it's like even with the shit that we just released yesterday it's like the new special the new special is like how do you if i'm doing crowd work the whole time, how do you feel what the audience feels? How do you feel like you're in there? How do you feel like you're- How do you make it look like that?

As a viewer, you're saying- As a viewer. How do you feel like you're in the crowd? When someone is roasting or even fucking with the people in the audience, there's a certain amount of time spent looking at the comic, and there's also time spent looking at the person they're talking to. So if you don't show that person— You lose half the joke. So it's like we had angles covering them, and then you feel like you're in each part of the audience. Right.

So when did you decide you were making the crowd work only special? Well, I guess we kind of thought of the idea going down to D.C. That was like a week ago. When did you decide you were making the crowd work only special? Well, I guess we kind of thought of the idea going down to D.C. That was like a week ago. Okay. So it was on the fly. You were just like, I'm doing a show in D.C. Yeah, I was doing like eight. And by the way, I'm probably going to do a lot of crowd work.

Why don't we make crowd works only special? Yeah, I was doing like eight shows in D.C. That's obnoxious. You realize that, right? Yeah. Just want to make sure you know that when you're telling this story to people, that they're on the inside going, fuck you, Schultz.C. That's obnoxious. You realize that, right? Yeah. Just want to make sure you know that when you're telling this story to people, that they're on the inside going, fuck you, Schultz. Good.

That's what you want. If you don't retweet it, I want you to be furious. We were planning it. We scoped it out. And we did it once. And it didn't work. And we did it twice. No, we did it in a week.

No, we did it in a week. And we edited it in 30 hours. 30 hours straight, right? 30 hours straight. We didn't sleep. And this was two days ago. But it had to go out the same day as Chappelle. Had to have it happen.

Had to. Yeah. It had to because. It was a smart move. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, it has to be.

Yeah. It is because it's like, it's the perfect, it just becomes the marketing vehicle in a way. Yeah. That's the angle. And if you're not really competing with – Yeah, exactly. I love it. You hijacked it. It's amazing.

Of course. Did you watch the Chappelle? You've been busy doing your own. I watched a little bit of it. I watched a little bit of it. I mean, he's just a goat. Yeah. I was going to ask you where you put him.

Yeah, he's a goat. To me, the goat is Patrice O'Neal. But outside of Patrice, he's a living goat. See, I didn't think it was bad, not by any stretch of the imagination. But I thought, and I think this is what you're really great at, is I think when you spend, like, and I don't know much about the comedy world, but I feel like everything he said, I watched the full thing. I feel like everything he said, I'd heard before. It was funnier and all that. I'm so happy that you're talking about this right now.

This is why I did this special way i did okay the last special i think i was here talking about we were here last time this is so crazy yeah so i was like maybe five or six months ago and i released views from the sis yep and the reason i did it was i specifically did every topic you're not supposed to joke about and people have gotten canceled for trannies me too uh just like women's like bodily functions or whatever like that just donald trump grabbing pussy i justified every horrible thing that you're not supposed to say and it was because i felt like the culture needed the culture meaning like all of us we needed anti-pc shit but everybody's like well i don't want to be the one because i could we can get in trouble did you see kevin hart can't host the oscars i did that

so my whole risk was the people want it all these guys making millions of dollars don't want to risk that i'll put this out and if it's successful you're going to see comedy come around and you're going to see the big guys start to do it so So I knew Chappelle was doing this. Once the views from the CIS got 6 million, I'm like, the next big guy to put it out is going all in. Burr has always been all in. Burr never changed. But Burr operates on an island. Don't tell me you're going to be taking credit

for Dave Chappelle pushing the envelope with jokes. No, no, no. I'm not taking credit for that. What I'll say is that we cause a ripple effect in the ecosystem. And when you cause a ripple effect in the ecosystem, that's what happens down the line. Do you know what I mean? The butterfly effect.

Exactly. It's like going on Rogan and talking about that. If I don't go on Rogan and talk about that, all these people don't even know. If I don't go here and talk about it, those people don't even know.

But every little bit pushes it further. It helps, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then it creates a place where it's okay. Bill Burr has been always talking about this. But for whatever fucking reason, Burr operates on an island. it helps yeah right and then it creates a place where it's okay bill burr has been always talking about this but for whatever fucking reason burr operates on an island yeah i think he's arguably

the best working now too like he's and he's he's definitely rushmore like he's fucking unreal but for whatever reason it's like i don't know what the fuck it is and he is when you say on island you mean that like he doesn't he's a kind that he's immune from the blowback of these things? But he's also immune from the praise. Yeah, yeah. Because I was going to say he doesn't get the level of respect he gets. But I also think he... I don't know if it's the way he looks.

Obviously, the talent, yes. But the way he looks, the way he delivers, who he is, how old he is, whatever it is, he seems to get away with what would cancel other people or other people would freak out about. i think he doesn't hit the the well also i think he gets away with it because he's so funny yeah i think that's funny always wins but i think i think he gets away because he's so funny i think the reason he doesn't like cross over to those mainstream conversations is because women don't fuck with him that much and once women fuck with you you blow over completely like you have to have household name type shit that's why louis who is not more funny than bill in my opinion was so much bigger because women loved louis he was the adorable dad which is funny loved his kids

and now women hate him but you know what i'm It's like, women can be fickle audience members. Right? They love you when they relate to you and then... And you cross a line and it's over. No, Bill Burr could say anything

and dudes will be like, no, you can't say anything. They wouldn't even debate it. That's what's happening. Agree or disagree, whatever. You hit your wife.

You know what I mean? Whatever it is, right? It's like, we would forgive because that's just who we are. Exactly, right? So it's like, so I'm not in any way taking credit. I? It's like, we would forgive because that's just who we are. Exactly, right? So it's like,

so I'm not in any way taking credit. I'm just saying like, what we did is we started, we started something that eventually became mainstream enough. Like,

you do six million views on a TV show, you're the hottest sitcom that week. Just think about that, right? You do six million videos on a special,

that's the most viewed special this year outside Chappelle. Guaranteed. So it's like, we did have an effect on culture i just wouldn't didn't have the end for netflix on it right to where people looked at it yeah yeah the medium for sure matters i think the uh when you when you like you you put out clips and stuff like that do you think about that because that's like it wasn't even just like i've seen what chapelle says in specials i've seen i've just seen a tweet about it right i've just seen one person go viral with a tweet.

I'm like, I've seen that joke already. You were great. You have the delivery. You're Dave Chappelle. But I've already seen that joke. So this is why – yeah, this started the conversation I want to talk about. So this is why we did this. After the PC shit is kind of like attack.

We all go to PC. We all agree we hate PC. Now we feel confident saying we hate PC, et cetera. Then it starts the fucking think piece era where we got think pieces about Popeyes. Like how many think pieces do you need? We have think pieces about think pieces. It's like we need an opinion about everything. Yeah, not everything is that fucking big of a deal.

Stop thinking, bro. Stop thinking. Right right just live a little so my whole point with this special was i'm not thinking i'm doing so when so when you did those shows yeah the special is just crowd work or the the night like you just went up there with no material and did only crowd work i did did you just put out the crowd work or there was only crowd work to be filmed no no i did some materials for the shows but that what is in the special is just right yeah so that to me has always been the hallmark of like a true next level comedian where it's like you can sit down and write the best jokes in the world and that's a very specific talent right but

then if you can go out there and it's like all right well that guy's got funny hair and that guy's fat and this girl's that and that's gonna all be part of my act right then you know that it's all it's like freesty my act then you know that it's all it's like freestyling it's freestyling it's like you gotta have funny in your bones you can't do like

the math problem that was my favorite part of the Chappelle special when it ends you know the secret 25 minute part oh no I didn't know so when it ends

you have to sit through the credits and then like it basically you can't fast forward you have to sit through the credits you can't fast forward

through it it refreshes itself and then it's 25 minutes of him when he did the show on Broadway and it's him just sitting there and it's not the of him when he did the show on Broadway And it's him just sitting there And it's not a bit

The audience can ask questions and all that shit That was way more interesting and funny to me Than the whole hour was It just felt I want to stress it was very funny But it just felt like I've heard this before It didn't have new ideas and stuff like that That's the thing

We've heard every idea so much Every joke has been told in a way Every topic has been talked about in a way with podcasts with everything it's like there's so you can only speak about the same thing so many times before you run into a similarity like we have a very similar uh magic johnson bit that i gotta kill from my act now and i'm not gonna lie my bit's better yeah it's a better joke It's like he uses it as a couple throwaways to get to the R. Kelly thing. Me, it's just about Magic Johnson, Michael Jackson. And it's like, but I got to throw it away because he's the GOAT. You're the GOAT, and that's the fucking rule, right?

Which is weird that we even have that with like, what is it called when you patent thing? Like, what a stupid idea that is. Patenting things? Like, you make a zipper, and then some guy in fucking Uruguay is like, I'd also like to close my jacket. And then you go, no, I invented closing jackets.

Like it's just such a stupid idea. The patent, right? It's like, yeah, but, but owning land is also stupid. Like you own it for what?

Like what? Yeah. But if I make an idea and then you just take that idea from me, that's different. I took, yeah, but, but, but we took patent past idea and then you just take that idea from me. You approve, I took. Yeah. We took patent past that and we're like, no one can have it anymore. You know what I'm saying?

That's why I don't blame the Chinese for just taking shit. They're like, pull up. What you going to do? I invented the wall. Okay, so I live outside now? It's just stupid. Whatever. But I respect respect comedy so much

that you gotta yeah yeah yeah but the point is like i just felt like we were done with the think pieces like people just need to have fun and enjoy and the idea with the special is like literally there's no crowd in comedy is more diverse than my crowd you have every different race gender religion etc in the crowd and i'm making fun of them to their face and they're laughing at themselves yeah yeah yeah so in the most sensitive time in comedy where everybody supposedly can't take a joke and everybody's supposedly so sensitive which is horseshit that's two percent of the internet i don't even like pushing that out there in the world like it's a real thing yeah we we talk all the time about people are saying or the internet

said and it's like literally three minutes you on the internet i'm on the internet right i'm not saying it you're not saying it i'm not that guy is but who cares yeah you know what i'm saying it's like it is it is an asinine idea we're out there in the streets we're doing live shows we people we know that people want to laugh this just shows hey we're all laughing and everybody's laughing at themselves the comedy's not dividing right that's the idea uniting yeah i think i think that's always a thing that's said about comedy like is this gonna kill comedy it's like like no ever i don't think everyone's as sensitive people pretend they are really like it's hard some people are but not everyone there was a time where like you doing

comedy got you arrested right like it's not that like it's not a difficult time to be funny there's you might get a couple mean tweets about you it's not not that fucking hard to be like, like you said, everyone, when you're just looking at people, they just want to laugh. It's not like the... Even just going to a comedy club. It's like, I'm paying money to go in here so I can laugh at something. And you generally know that if you're going to be in a comedy club, it's going to be

some fucked up shit being said. You're not going to just be telling knock-knock jokes. And if you're someone who gets up and tries to stop a show because you're offended, the entire audience consumes you. You're canceled. You're a kid. I had an audience singing. I didn't start it.

They just started going, na, na, na, na, na. That's great. Because they can't wait. You're ruining their time. So I just want to get out there. Just like with views, the idea was, hey, you could be funny about anything. If you're funny, it's fine. This one is a little bit more subversive, but the idea is like we have a sense of humor.

Yeah, the world has a sense of humor. The brown people do in the audience. The Asians do. The women do. There was one – there was somebody on your story a couple months ago. I want to say he was like this hillbilly dude or something who just got out of jail. Oh, yeah. And you were clowning on him, and he was like – and it was was one of those it was an instagram story that was like probably three or four little

fucking sticks long and the first couple i was like i think schultz is about to get murdered by this guy and by the end of it he started laughing like it took a while and and you were going in on him i don't remember what you're saying but it was like somebody yeah yeah or just gotten out of jail and he was harping on that being like so did you shoot someone with a gun he did eight years in jail i think that's manslaughter right and like, so did you shoot someone with a gun? He did eight years in jail. I think that's manslaughter. Right. And like,

yeah, that's, that's, that's not a little time. Yeah. That's somebody is no longer on the planet because of you. Yeah. But by the end he,

even he was laughing and it was like, thank God he was by the way. Cause that would have been, it would have been a wrap for you. I had to take that down. That was going viral. Really? Yeah.

We did like, cause it was like half a million in like less than a day. And then I got emails from the dude like, we didn't know that you're filming this, that, the other. And I was like, I don't want to deal with none of this fucking smoke. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Plus there's also. I feel like that's one of those things.

I think here we have a sign where it's like, you might be filming. Now we do that every time. Now we got our sign. I feel like that's just something you understand walking into a comedy club. You should. Someone's filming. You should. Yeah, I agree.

But it was one of those things where it's like, we got so much good momentum. This clip doesn't make or break me. I also, I don't like to fuck with people too much. I don't know, that guy and his parole officer or something is a problem.

All right. There'll be plenty more jokes. You're a funny dude. You don't need to ruin someone's job or whatever. No. You see what Pete Davidson did last night?

No, what happened? He was on stage and he called the audience. They were filming. Everybody was filming him. Yeah. And he said, some combination of

you're all little spoiled fuck retard assholes and that's going viral today. Oh, and then he said like millennials, which I thought was fucking weird because he's right smack in the middle of that whole demo right there. And we were talking about just the idea of filming at a club. Yeah. And i know it's

a very sensitive thing for comics because and that's where like i i knew i i already knew you were yeah i get that like you know your jokes might get spoiled or whatever but it's it's the best thing go viral on the internet with my material and people are like no put your phones in a bag like listen this is the best thing that can happen for Pete. Yeah, well, that's the other thing, too. It's almost like we know Pete because of viral moments. I don't know any of Pete's bits. And Pete is a funny comic.

At least when he was coming up and he was young, that motherfucker was funny, man. I remember it specifically. Anybody who said to me, how did he get SNL? I would ask them this. I'd go, can you name a funnier kid at 21 years old? You tell me one other comic that's that funny at 21, and then end the discussion. So it's like, but at the same time, it's been way more antics than it's been pieces or material out there. So if that's how things are happening, and you have a movie made about your life because of it keep going well that's why i don't know i don't know if he's like

is he doing that on purpose is he like i'm gonna get up there and rant at the audience i don't think he's that guy listen i think he's kind of a weird quirky like emotional dude who actually i think maybe right now he's like, fuck it, let's roll with it. I never assume, I'm not saying you're saying stupid, but I never assume stupidity for people who are successful. Anybody who's successful. You think everything's deliberate and like everything? It's like these fucking idiots that think Trump is stupid. And I'm like, why don't you do it?

Yeah, you go become president. That motherfucker is ten times smarter than anybody else in politics right now. Ten times. And that's why he's able to manipulate you. That's why he's going to nuclear bomb a hurricane, bro. Son, this is what I don't understand. This is what I don't understand.

What if that works? I got a question. Is this like, I got to ask a question. Maybe it's not a nuclear bomb. Maybe it's some like hurricane shit, but like,

what did they do in the movie Tornado with Bill Paxton? Twister. Whatever it was. They put the shit in and went around and then they you know about those pepsi cans right like yeah you gotta ask the questions man it's not a crazy idea that maybe you do something to the hurricane it stops being

a hurricane you know who's very excited about that a bunch of people in the bahamas putting the fucking roof back on their house every time the hurricane comes like but we got these like elitist new york california liberals who are just the same oh how dare you can't just nuke as well the fuck you know about nukes it was it was hurricanes or nuclear bombs it's an ice cube you drop a big ice cube in the 40s they tried they dropped a huge ice cube Oh if you cool the center It falls apart It collapses on itself

Did it work? They didn't have the right size ice cube apparently Now we can do that What was refrigeration like in the 40s? You had a fucking ice box Now we can make a much better ice cube We can make the best ice cube ever The biggest

Dude those glaciers are melting. Just take that shit. Dude, we just saved everybody. Done. And I don't even buy that Amazon shit with the forest. What do you mean you don't buy it? Is this not happening? Fake.

I think that's fake. There's no fire happening. No, it's a fire, but I think it's a normal amount of fire for a year. I love this. What is this based on? What is a normal amount of fire for a year? I assume there's fire. You think that the Amazon regularly burns?

I think most things burn. And I think that this is a regular amount of burn. Because if it was a real problem, Brazil wouldn't turn down the... Oh, you know why that's happening? Oh, this is the best story. Okay, go ahead. I just learned about this. Also, $20 million is nothing, by the way.

Nothing. That's how you know it's fake. Nothing. But that's how you know it's fake. If the UN offered me anything under $8 billion, it's got to have a B. If the UN or the G7, if the whole world offers me $20 million, that's like leaving a dollar tip. I'd rather have nothing than $20 million, you fucking assholes. So what does that say to you if they're giving the $20 million?

What does that say? Fake life. It's all made up. That it's not a real problem. Because if it was a real problem and the Earth's lungs are flung. 20% of the Earth's oxygen, bro. I don't even buy that. I also think that trees grow back.

Okay. There's plenty of trees. Yes, 100% yes, too. Second of all, if you provide 20% of the earth's oxygen, you'd be charging. A Brazil tax on every breath you take, man. Son, you enjoying that? Look, you like all that right there? I need 20%.

20% on me now. Now, if we said charge money for air, that would be absurd. Right, right, right. But we charge money for land. Right. I own that. I own the oil. You charge for the oil.

I own the air. Brazil owns the air, bro. Brazil owns the air, bro. You're making a lot of sense. If you're in the Middle East and you're on top of all the oil, you own the oil. If you're in Brazil and you're with all the trees, you own the air. 20% of it. You fucking own the air. 20% of percent of the air you own the air i want to disagree with us huh who owns the water penguins

we do own water penguins bro you gotta go way the fuck out to the international waters like we right this is america's water it is true there's the fucking brazil's waters down there drew a line an arbitrary line in the water. In the water. That said you can't drive your boat into this part of the water. How absurd is all of this? You can do the drugs over here. You can't do them over here.

That's why people are so stupid. It's just like, just do it. Just fucking do it. So this is why Brazil turned down the 20 million. Yeah. There was a Facebook post. Okay. About the French first lady.

Macron's old lady. The old bitch. Yes. And literally old. Literally old. Was his teacher. Was his teacher. And a random Facebook person said,

more or less, Bolsonaro, the Brazilian president, his wife is hotter because she's younger, and she's old and ugly. And Bolsonaro liked it. I love this guy. And that's it. Feud. Petty. And now they're feuding and he's like,

until I get an apology, you're not getting any money. Macron said that? They don't got no money. So yeah. Macron said something back. Because of that. And then so Bolsonaro's like, until I get an apology, fuck you, I'm out. And I'm just going i'm just gonna let the amazon burn so stupid because macron's wife is too old to understand what's happening on social media she got no fucking clue that

actually we were talking i didn't think about the fact that she might not even know what's happening on social media no but but we were 60 years old i was saying though to the point that like if if it was up to me and it was like well i could like shake hands with this guy hands with this guy and we could put out this fire and, like, save the environment, but my wife knows that I buried the hatchet with the dude who called her old and ugly, I ain't doing that shit because it ain't worth the headache I'm going home to. Fuck it. Let the world burn. Let me ask you a question. Would Trump ever get himself in that pickle? No.

Say whatever you want about his fucking wife. He don't care. Are we ready to do a deal? He probably already said it about her. Exactly. But are we ready to do? Oh, you said that about my wife. Yeah, we make mistakes. You ready to do a deal? He probably already said it about her. Exactly. But are we ready to do? Oh, you said that about my wife. Yeah, we make mistakes.

You ready to do a deal? Can we make some money here? It's just like, how are you? These people, they put their ego in everything and they have no fucking clue what to do afterwards.

That's all politicians are. They're fucking girlfriends. It's like, you're never going to forget anything. You don't want to make some money. It's all grudges. But I do respect the grudge though. Do you?

I wouldn't. I'm not going to let it get in the way of myudges. But I do respect the grudge, though. Do you? I wouldn't. I'm not going to let it get in the way of my team petty. Like, fuck you. We're done for. You've got to let profits convert, man. You've got to let people convert. If you're a prophet, you've got to let people convert. Not saying you guys are prophets, but I'm saying that's the mentality you've got to have.

Everybody says, fuck you. I don't personally do it. You can say whatever the fuck you want to me. You can say whatever you want about whoever. And I'm certainly not going gonna fuck with my money over it but someone else but i will respect it if someone else do it i'll be like i'll take my captain like you take you take a grudge to the grave because someone said something about your girl and it's like this is so like some half fields mccoy shit yeah i want your son to kill his son

that's how bad i want grudges to last. No, bro. No, dude. Like, come on, bro. Just tell the jokes and make the money, man. Don't do it. Don't do it. At least in business, at least in the business we're in, we have to understand that we're thinking of ideas before any of these idiots. You guys have been podcasting longer than a podcast has ever existed, right? Like, on the

mainstream right right so like when a howard stern goes a podcast and a stoop or something like that you just got to go okay they don't know yet right i don't it'll take a little bit longer for them yes you're gonna figure it out and then when you figure it out welcome aboard bro right right it's not a big deal like you know how many comics i'm sure have talked shit about me throughout my career and said horrible things about me probably to networks and to all this shit and now all are doing the exact same blueprint that i've laid out so that's what's fine i think and it's for them by the way it's for all of them right right like it's for all the business for the industry i knew what was gonna happen i knew what i was gonna do with my career you didn't know see okay so this

is what i think is interesting about you and i wonder where like when i've seen the clips i think you actually just reposted one from uh when you're on rogan being like i don't need to be on netflix i don't even want to be on netflix i don't care if 10 people watch it just recently but that's because you pop now right that's not about pop it just wasn't the right thing that's interesting because i was my point was going to be like a lot of people can say oh anybody can go we had we had somebody in here recently being like you know i didn't want to go on like netflix i was happy being on like a smaller thing and it was like bro no like that it just wasn't in the cards for you but someone like you it actually seems like that was the real deal because you took you took it and ran with it

and did youtube and did other things and now are probably more successful than if you had just a hundred percent but you understand what i'm saying it's very easy for other comics to go i don't need netflix or i don't want to be on netflix it's like netflix ain't coming to you yeah it's like you know there's a difference dudes are faithful to their wife like you're broken ugly it doesn't count i just love my wife it's like you just have your wife that's all you have and you better be fucking grateful that you have your wife okay but there's some people that have abundance and then they make a choice right so it's like i had no choice nobody wanted me so i had to build the youtube shit and instagram shit and then once i started having a choice i made the decision i thought was best for me in my career right so and you really thought no netflix was the way to go well

my theory was was this was i post on twitter and instagram for free and youtube for free well why wouldn't i post on netflix like it meant nothing sure and i got offered uh a show on netflix and then another offer special like i got part of one of the uh i got part of one of those series the special series and um and i was considering it. And then another, another offer came in. It was like, it was a game changing offer.

So from, I can't say, but like it was to the point where like, yeah, it's like it, it would, it was multiple commas in the offer. So when that comes in,

I have to say, Hey, we're doing, we're probably going to in the offer. So when that comes in, I have to say, Hey, we're doing, we're probably going to look at that. But if that, if that says no, if I say no to that, which I could very easily say no to that.

Like I made my money without getting paid for specials. So you can't, you have no leverage over me when you offer me money for my special. Right. My bills are paid without it. Like Jim Gaffigan needs to make his 2 million a year per special because that's built into the bug budget the mortgage the 10 kids you gotta take care of right like it's like hey what do we do and this guy works you want to talk about a worker that motherfucker in the clubs with 15 minutes notepads it's like amazing but

what i'm saying is i never did make money on specials so that's not part of my mortgage my mortgage is somewhere else. That's icing. So what is the podcast? Podcast and then the road. I monetize the road. But to the point that when multiple commas comes in, were you guys like, fuck yeah?

Or was that just like, okay, that's good. I was excited, but the story with it was like, I had a meeting about Views from the CIS, like a week in LA before I was going to drop it. And this company was like, yo, don't drop it. We want to buy it from you. And I was like, it's a million dollars. Now, keep in mind, nobody wanted to buy it from me,

so there's literally zero value on it. But I just made up a value, because it was like I promoted this so much that it would cost a million dollars for me like I promoted this so much that it would cost a million dollars for me to not put this into the comedy ecosystem. I knew they weren't going to pay for it. Comedy needed it. I truly believe that in my heart. Comedy needed a special.

But it was a number that was so absurd. But what that number did is it started a value proposition for me. So the next time they came to me with an offer. Then you're starting there. Yeah, yeah. Right? So it's like, that's what we're talking about.

You just make shit up. Hey, I own this land. What do you mean you own it? Yeah, this is worth a million dollars. Wasn't it Colin Quinn who had that great joke about the Native Americans or something like that? Like when the Westerners came over

or the Europeans came over and they were like, yeah, we own this land. We'd like to buy this land from you. And the natives were like, these idiots think you can own land they thought they won the deal from it had right we got some corn out of this shit like we're all good here man right so like yeah yeah so that yeah so the netflix shit so yeah so the netflix offered me for this you know this degenerates thing.

I think they'd pay you like 25 grand or something like that, which is fine. Which is fine, but let's say I have to take a weekend off of work to do that. I lose money. I lose money doing it. So I don't make money doing the Netflix thing, but I would do it if it was the right thing for exposure. I'd be grateful. I'm not anti.

If this was a few years earlier earlier i feel like a lot of people got netflix specials netflix shows like sitcoms and shit like that it's flooded right but had this been like maybe i don't know what like let's call it five years ago or something like that where like if you if a new sitcom came out it was going to be a big deal if a new drama came out it was going to be good now it's like so flooded that it's it doesn't mean anything but if it was that time period would you have just jumped just to be just to get that netflix stamp on it yeah sure man yeah it's all timing yeah dude it's yeah and it's people think that i have this like gripe against netflix there's no enemies in business if the right veal comes through we can

do business for me it's just what's the best thing like when i was saying netflix is dead i'm making an observation on the weather. The weatherman doesn't hate Tuesday because it's going to be rainy. He just thinks it's going to rain on Tuesday. So my feeling with Netflix was you never had the best content. You were just first to market, right? Like you got into streaming in the same way we got into podcasting before most people did. We established this big fan base, and we set the tone for what podcasting is.

When I say we, I mean the three of us right here, instrumental in probably creating what podcasting is, probably more so you guys than most people. How long have you been doing this show? Seven years. More so you guys than most. Why is a podcast an hour? Well, because motherfucking KFC Radio is now.

That's why. If it was two hours it would have been like you created the rules right right you invented what that is but i honestly think the next thing is realizing that there really are no rules like you guys so if you want to do your podcast five days a week you want to do it for two hours you want to do it for 10 minutes you want to do it for you want to do a video you want to do it guys in the room what is that the internet right it's a visual podcast right but it's like minutes. But it's like you guys, you guys don't – you are creatives. You don't – I don't know.

The thing that I love most about Barstool is people's perception of Barstool. It's like you guys are Trump in a way that – I mean this in the most positive way. It's like people are like, oh, it's beer chugging. It's like you don't even realize that you're outsmarting yeah you don't know what goes into it you don't realize that we realized recently like i love the fucking uh every time that i think it was hbo who did this they came in they walked around for like two days three days a week whatever i think they did it for six months they did it yeah they're here for a long time and uh then they put their piece out and it was the regular old like hatchet job

and it was like they sat with the girls who work here who said it's great and they watched us all be like intelligent and all that shit and they just still ran with the same old shit and everybody got very bent out of shape being like we thought hbo real sports was going to be like the real deal i'm like this is great like let them do it because all of a sudden we are like renegades we're these fucking like pirates on the pirate ship who i'm a fucking internet nerd i'm a dork i'm soft i'm like you know what i mean but now all of a sudden i'm like the bad boy go ahead give me that fucking soledad o'brien says like they're vile people or he's a vile man whatever it's like yeah sure and everyone goes what are these guys about when you knew the real story about me it's like i don't know i like i'm

worried about my twitter followers and i watch tv at night like it's not that interesting but you make me interesting with this stupid made-up story so go ahead and tell it it's all urban legends it's all tall tales about us we're robin hood yeah really really it really is you you walk in here as the kings and you know the, the representatives, the prince, the sheriff, and they're like, oh, what is all this riffraff going on over here? Organize some things. Da-da-da-da-da-da. Get out of here.

You tell everybody in the city how horrible Robin Hood is, and everybody in the city is like, man, well, what's so bad about it? It just gives you shit for free. It doesn't charge you $10 a month, and most of the shows suck. I kind of like these guys they just do it themselves and they got their brother there i would like to work with my brother and they just have fun right anybody who's level-headed who takes a second to actually think for themselves it's like oh this is this is pretty cool dude but the problem then comes in

like you were getting shadow banned right and that's a different story where it's like well now now you're actively like working against me. I'm convinced that's happening to me on Twitter. Just by the way, I've gotten like a thousand Twitter followers in like six months. Am I? No, no. Oh, give me a, after this, give me your phone and I'll look at one thing to see.

Are your tweets protected? No. Okay. I don't think so. Cause they did that to me. They switch your settings. They turn your shit to be. Yes.

Oh, maybe like i don't have a lock next to my name that's what you mean well afterwards we'll look at it and we'll go through it but like they basically made it so nobody could see any pictures of mine unless they like clicked on it yeah like view sensitive material or whatever yeah yeah change it for you right and so what did you do that they got the shadow band set this off yeah i had some like somali clip your clit off riff oh i saw that one it was part of like i think it was that because i think it's just an algorithm right i think there's a couple things that happen i think they're like they look at engagement and they look at like

being problematic so if you're problematic with two followers they don't give a fuck right like think about all these kids that like might comment on your picture you fucking suck right whatever like that they'll like say horrible things about your family. That don't matter, yeah. But Instagram doesn't care because it's not out there. But if your engagement, like our engagement was insane.

Like I was doing like over 100% of following with my videos. And they're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Yeah, now you're like moving crowds. You're moving the needle here. We got to control this.

We can't have problematic individuals have influence. Right. God forbid, yeah. So people are getting unsubscribed from my youtube they're getting my youtube isn't popping up on their subscribe list even though it is like they're in which pissed me off and that was instagram as well that was instagram they just shadow banned me meaning if you type my name in i wasn't doesn going to know. It doesn't pop up. It doesn't pop. Rogan talks about it on his podcast. Fixed. That was awesome. That's power, really. Yeah, it was some wild shit. And I asked him.

So you weren't on the show, but he got wind of it. I told him. I texted him. I was like, bro, what do I do? I'm shadow banned. He goes, let me see. And he put it up in him and Jamie. He was like, they're typing in like A-N-D-R-E-W-S-C-H and like everything else pops up except his

shit. And Rogan's like, man, fuck this. This is like some bullshit. Next day. Done. I asked him about it and I was like, cause he's the goat to me because he has everything to lose and he puts throat,

puts it on the line every time. Like he could piss off Instagram and piss off YouTube and piss off all these companies. And they could be like, well, we don't want to support your videos. Get out of here. But he doesn't care.

But like, I also feel like he is big enough where if they tried to do that, the country would revolve. You can't fuck with Joe Rogan. People are trying to get him to fucking host a presidential debate. YouTube needs Joe Rogan.

It's not like, oh, we can tell Joe Rogan to go fuck off if we want. YouTube needs Joe Rogan. People are going to try to get him to be in it one day. I feel like, forget about hosting. They're going to fucking want him to run one day.

Oh, absolutely. Yeah, they need him. He wouldn't. Yeah, no. He knows exactly – he's built for power like 100%. If you look at him, all he does is give back, supports comics, promotes comics. Smart dude, giving guy. That's all he does, and it's genuine.

That's all he wants to do. But what he said, he's like, dude, I'm a flashlight when shit is fucked up. I just point the flashlight. And you don't need to do anything else past that. Once you illuminate shit, it's like the masses. What's going on over here? That's fucked up. And then so you haven't had any problems since then.

What about YouTube? I'm coming back now. But they'll throttle you a little bit. They won't let your shit go into the popular page like right the algorithm i mean we've seen it with answer the internet where it's just like you you know you're doing well with views and all of a sudden they decide to throw you in and it's explosion and it's like crack to me i'm like you love it injected yeah uh when we see a video overnight went from you know 50 to like 250 i'm like it's the best oh my god the

first thing i do i wake up in the morning when it's like something important yeah and i and i hit that refresh and you i always under predict yeah that's probably at 120 yeah when it comes in like 180 how many subscribers you had on youtube i think we're at 670 670 we just hit 100 and we were like i saw that stuff over it I'm like, I'm looking at like 600, I think Josh Wolf's at like, three quarters of a million, I'm like, that must be fucking,

but you guys built that from zero, I remember when you were building it, you know what I mean, and I remember, I thought you were doing it on the Barstoolies YouTube, but you built it from zero. so we're doing,

you know, there's been debate about how to do it, how to handle it, we're kind of like, almost like spokes on a wheel, like there's a central one, but everyone else is kind of on their own and every

almost every every video we put up there's at least one or two people commenting how does this this page not have more subscribers

because when you run down the list of the people we've had so I got hope that eventually it just has that like tipping point moment where are you at now

you're at 100 we just passed 100 so probably like 105 now or something like that the reality is subs don't matter as much as views right people confuse subs subs are meaningless if no one's watching your shit right there's a lot of accounts that got 2 million but they get 30,000 a video

right you guys have 100,000 and we're getting 100,000 views 500,000 250,000 million i think theo's got like a million. Developed danger to four. So it's like that is way more valuable. To me what that says is your content is hitting the algorithm outside of the Barstool community. It's just hitting the ether you got out there. And if you're doing that consistently, your subscribers don't matter. Interesting. I really wouldn't even put any value in the subscribers whatsoever. know there's like a just a cloud thing to it a cache

to it like but no no i think it matters i think it matters if you if you open up a page and you see that there's like 10 subscribers you you are not going to think of that the same way if the same way you open up a video that's funny as shit but only has 100 views it it does change your perception i agree with you saying you can't do everything for the clout but having those numbers be right i think helps you along with like the overall status that's why like instagram's getting rid of all their stuff aren't they isn't instagram getting rid of like likes and i heard about all the numbers i think they've done it in different countries i think they're like considering bringing it to america i think they've done it in a bunch of places and now they're like yeah like what dude like you need that you still

you need your view i mean so you don't believe in subscribers but you need to see views no i like what if you just didn't have views i need to know views yeah because i want to know it's resonating that's how i that's how i judge the market and take the market also like yeah yeah you 100 want to know views they want to know views because that's a fucked up thing they'll take the way that data from us but they're not going to take away from them i mean the youtube is just like if you're not in the data business you're not in business i don't care what business is it sweet greens is in the data business give us your email you want your receipt give us your email everything is give us your email right because that's the only way to sustain right if you do not have in direct link to your people it's over for you they can shut

you out in any fucking second like Do you guys have an email list? Yeah, we got some sort of newsletter. Get that shit going, dude. Because that's true. If they shut everything down, it's one email, you get everything back up. I think so. But we're also lucky in that we're like, Barstool Sports isn't reliant on Twitter or Instagram.

Because we're like a site people just call. I think still to this day, like despite we'll have, you know, Instagram, uh, Facebook videos go viral. It's like that. Still to this day,

most of our hits come from someone typing in barstoolsports.com. Yep. Which is like, I think what I did, whereas I rather you saw a tweet go viral or whatever, you know, so many companies have their, their whole business model is based on that. And like,

if Twitter disappears tomorrow, like, I don't know how to get my links out and stuff like that. But like barstoolsports.com is still, still uh a site that people like try and go to it's really it's it's really brilliant it's very you get the power they can't take it away from you they don't know what to do it's like like that's the reason why they'd never take you uh let's go rogan off youtube his data is too valuable to them they want to know all those fucking bajillion of people watching.

Are people really into UFOs? Okay, do we need to monitor this shit? Right, right. Are people really into... Who's this... Who's Jordan Peterson? Why do so many people like him? What are his opinions?

Why are his opinions valuable? Do we need to address some of these opinions? Should we gear the algorithm to... They are constantly tweaking and... I want to know who Mr. Algorithm is. What team that is. there's got to be one guy you know there's a ton of people there's got to be one person who's making that final decision being like all right like you know retention matters this much and this matters

that much that guy he controls the fucking he controls that's like controlling the federal reserve almost yeah he's a green span of the internet and that's and it is it's all like drug it's like how do I make this shit addictive? How do I, oh man, that is, yeah, I would love to sit down with that guy.

What a brilliant fucking human being and evil in a lot of ways. Yeah, right. Oh yeah. Right. But yeah, sometimes the evil. It's like the same thing as the guys who make lines in Vegas.

I'm like, sometimes I'm like, why don't you just be a gambler? And like, yeah, why don't they do that? They're not good. I,

I, I, I, I, I saw a story I think is near time this is probably five ten years ago my dad sent to me you're not Jewish good come I was like the article is about how like 90% of the games are off by over 10 points. Like the lie, like every week when they're like, it's on, it's those it. And it's like all the other games were fucking blowouts.

They weren't even close, but everyone always harps on the one they got right. And it's like, I'll have to find the articles. I've referenced it a couple of times. It's like most of the time they're not even close. Do you gamble? No,

not really. I'm so happy. It's like the one vice i don't have because we watch some of these guys here and like i mean dave is down dave doesn't even know how much he's down he he's saying 840 units it's actually 84 units so there's a big difference there like you're so bad you don't even know what fucking how much you're down right now dude uh but yeah to me i i just in a weird way i'm happy i don't have that itch. Yeah. But with the way the internet's moving and everything being legalized, I mean, we have this fall coming up.

You have to move into it. You have to. We have an enormous company-wide push coming into the gambling space. And it's just like, well, I don't know the first thing about it. I don't really want to get into it because it's a bad habit. But also, it would be great for business, great for our careers if we were two gamblers like some of these other guys here so uh it's just an interesting like how can you get you when you see a wave coming it's like cannabis and fucking gambling are coming so how can you get in on that if you're not already one of those people what do

you think i don't know i mean solve it right now because because their their thing dan and dave are the two guys looking for monetization you're looking for monetization or you're looking for eyeballs? Which one? I mean, at the end of the day, I'm always looking for monetization, really. I always find monetization after. Yeah, yeah. You got to get that. But I'm saying the end goal is to make some money.

But you know, some businesses, it's like, how is this business viable? Okay, let's put it out there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I always take the kind of Uber approach, which is like, let me be, I'm just going to paint the town with it. And then when I'm ubiquitous with that town, I'll then find a way to charge. We did that. We went through a phase

of that where it was like, only videos we would make were, and this is a company-wide thing, where it was like, well, videos only get made if they're sold already. And I hated that. I was like, no, we'll make the videos. Let us do stuff. And then when's the first one to hit? Sell the second one. I don't want to just wait for you to sell a concept.

Let me just do the video. Yes. Create because you love it. Exactly, yeah. Well, so these guys, I mean, their main thing has just been like you'll live stream them watching a game they have money on. And when you watch them get their fucking hearts ripped out, people love it. So they've got to be putting up their own cash and losing their own money and then then you can sell it i honestly don't know what's going to happen because i i do think

it's coming to a point where they're kind of like if you want this business like i can't keep gambling all my own money away but then if you're if you're like fronting me or covering my losses so like i don't know so i think we're still very much in the wild wild west of like the gambling era where these guys they are like real og gamblers so like it's it's all very how unethical would it be to like just videotape degenerate gamblers here like you bring them in and you guys are like the like like bum fights it would be incredibly unethical but i think it's fucking genius i guess that's kind of what they're just setting up on their own yeah but if we just bring in strangers like we don't we don't do it but these two do listen that's this idea came about in our in our space it's yours it's yours it's yours i'm not going with it i um but yeah no i think

i think you got to find an entry point and it doesn't necessarily have to be you guys i think you guys can be the orchestrators of it but you guys are smart you'll figure it out i i just yeah i i love that you know the wave is coming and it's like you guys it came early like it was like i think they expected it churning i think churning bought into barcelona like for gambling thinking like 10 years from now it's gonna go legal and now it's like five years early look at this guy what's up man how we doing what up son what's up man how you doing good? What up son? What up boy? Here, you switch with me man, you get in here

Are you on air? Yeah, we're just kind of recording, it's not live, but we're just popping I'll leave you guys in a sec But yeah, we're just talking about gambling That's like the new wave that if you're not gambling. So that's genius. So that's why Portnoy is so pissed off because they know that they fucking raped him on that deal. Yeah.

They bought him for peanuts when the company is about to be worth $100 million. What did they buy him for? $10 million? It was like $12.5 million. Fucking idiot. Still eating pizza on the street. Dumbass. That's about all you're going to eat.

Dude, that's about all you're gonna eat dude yeah that's hilarious holy shit it's gonna be worth 100 million it already is yeah i mean well here's my thing it's like until the fucking somebody buys it and the check clears it ain't worth shit you know what i'm saying like yeah it's listed as 100 million but until that fucking actually right it's not real money but if you add the gambling aspect to it and becomes the biggest gambling it becomes the biggest sports gambling site that's 500 million that's a billion oh buddy and what the reason you needed the brand name is because you needed the equity and the consumer confidence to start that site you can't start it from scratch because why would I gamble there? But I'll gamble with the guys that I love talking sports to all the time. That have been doing it forever.

What does Portnoy still own with the company? How much? I don't know, to be honest. I mean, I know initially he – 50? I was going to say 50, and I know he negotiated that he has control over content and all that shit. Yeah, yeah. They don't care about content.

It's kind of like watered down. Oh, that's cute. Make your little videos. That's adorable. Just keep gambling, monkey. What do you guys want to do to that office hijinks this is so funny this is how billionaires make money man

they take your asshole and they fucking stick it on dude no saliva nothing what percentage does he still own I bet they bought in again did they they bought in again, didn't they? They bought in again! Ah! Ah!

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Dude, this is insane. Yo, I'll tell you what, though. Two out of ten of 500 million, though, whatever, right? Dude, brilliant. Yeah. Brilliant. Brilliant. I'll take it.

The guy gets it. No question. The guy understands content better than 99% of the people out here. I'll take it. The guy gets it. No question. The guy understands content better than 99% of the people out here. I truly believe that. But this is what happens with billionaires. Billionaires don't play. These are the fucking savages of the world. This is like that.

That's the Epstein shit. They already made us forget. We don't care. We did pretty move on pretty quickly from that. Yeah, that was a week one popeye sandwich they put out billionaires put out the best fucking chicken sandwich in history and we're like okay it's not teenage girl it's just it's wild it's next level shit we have a list of hundreds of women and hundreds of rich people have been raped people but hang on check

out this hand over here and they're like all right do you see the woman outside popeyes that was pretty funny she was so tired man she was tired of those sandwiches anyway guys i love y'all thanks so much appreciate it man i appreciate it man yanni p work uh go check out the special what's the actual name of it i know it's the crowd work okay yeah uh yeah man brilliant stuff as always thanks a lot thank you so much and now we roll right right into our boy, Giannis Pappas. Yeah, man. Thanks for having me. All right.

Big thank you to Andrew Schultz. And right there at the end, you heard us seamlessly transitioning into our interview with Giannis Pappas, who is a guy that Schultz has co-signed and is producing his new special. He's Chris DiStefano's partner and co-host on History Hyenas. Very funny comedian who's been in the game for a long time now veteran and og but he's really popping off now his answer the internet is out right now latest episode with him so you can go check out him uh talking about fucking ghosts and that shit about him jerking off wearing the stockings and the high heels is bananas that's a lot that that was like that's a story that takes a lot to get the kc radio guys

blushing i was like is that real dude holy shit so janice poppist will be on uh next episode but shout out to schultz and uh we'll catch you guys next week on kc radio turn around look at what you see in her face the mirror of your dream make believe I'm everywhere give it in the light written on the pages is

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