KFC Radio - This Episode Will Make You Sh*t Yourself Ft. Tyrese Gibson and Adam Pally

Episode Date: April 14, 2022

- Feits' Woza Cardoza story, aka our only wholesome story told on this podcast, is going viral - AITA - making my bf feel uncomfortable at girls night - switching to dairy milk and making my roommate sh*t herself in an interview - Video Voicemails - F your hot cousin or ugly step-sister? - cost per nut - sh*t your pants every time you yawn or throw up every time you sneeze? - Tyrese Gibson Interview on his legendary a benihana in it, getting arrested for walking out of filming with his Morbius gear on, becoming part of the crazy Marvel Universe and much more - Adam Pally Interview on trying to have the most fun while traveling, coaching improv to Ilana and Abbi, and much more ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Timecodes: 0:00 - Woza Cardoza is going viral 5:51 - AITA 23:51 - Video Voicemails 48:16:19 - Tyrese Gibson Interview 1:20:14- Adam Pally Interview ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Gametime: Download the Gametime app and redeem code KFC for $20 off your first purchase (terms apply). Ikon Pass: Score the best prices on winter 22/23 and get all the early season goods at https://barstool.link/IkonpassBSS Mugsy Jeans: Use code “KFC” for 10% off sitewide at https://barstool.link/Mugsy Would: Shop Would at https://barstool.link/wouldBSS or at your local CVS.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. He just made everyone... He's about to do it, too. Pat's about to do it, too. Yep. We just made everyone listening shit their pants. All right. We got to talk about one of the most, like, one of the weirdest phenomenons. Are you done over here? Crinkling and crackling.

Why don't you chew into the microphone? They love that. People love that. If it's not the crinkling bag, it's the powder coming out of the bag or the chewing. I think that's what they love the most. Goddamn animal. You're lucky that you bring funny stories to the table that go viral. We officially have the most viral KFC radio clip in our show's history. I don't understand where it's going viral.

Literally no one's tweeted to me. TikTok and YouTube, right? TikTok, YouTube, Instagram. So you're just everywhere but Twitter, you idiot. I guess, but I guess, yeah. Who gives a fuck about Twitter? Twitter is the worst. People don't know that it's you.

They're finding it and just relating to the story, and then they're making fun of Kevin's hat. That's all they're doing. The story is the tale of Woza Cardoza. Is that CGI? His best friend growing up was a man named Loza. Woza? Cardoza. Which is the most, that's the most bizarre.

For a show that has had like the Always Sunny Gang and the Bella Danger and the funniest comics in the world, because I was looking, like I think Glenn, we had a clip with Glenn that was like 900,000 views, a clip with the Bella that was 900,000 views, everything before that was like 900,000 views, Clip of the Bellow that was 900,000 views, everything before that was like major celebrities revealing things or talking about behind the scenes or a porn star. This story about John's dad doing dad jokes is actually, it's very funny that a show that

is so negative and pessimistic and nihilistic the most uh viral clip in our show's history is is one that's because people are like it's heartfelt and cute and being like oh my dad used to joke like that too and oh we have a similar name or we had a similar moment or isn't that funny and then also yeah me dressed like an asshole the thought that half the people were like dude what was a cardo? That's just like dad when he used to do like Penny McMenny or whatever. And then the other half is like, look at this fucking guy's hat. Is this guy serious with his dumb hat? It's a crazy hat.

It's funny because it's bigger than the usual hat. It's the perfect storm for a podcast clip. We're at like millions of views on TikTok and YouTube and Instagram, and I still don't really know what it is. I still don't know what you're talking about. But gas station stickers on the wall. They were so popular. I don't know why you can't remember them.

They were like you do it with – I can't remember because I've never seen them. I guess maybe in the city you haven haven't but it was a regular thing like you pull into a mobile like you would like give a dollar like you like sign a name and you can hang it up it is yeah never i never heard of that and then the fact that woza cardoza is the name and the way that your dad played it and the way that i mean it, it is a cute story. Your dad was pumped about it and loved the joke. You guys bought it, you know,

took the bait and we're like, Oh my God, it's a funny story. 20 years. 20 fucking years. It took me a long time. I'm still not a hundred percent sure he's fake. I'm pretty sure it's fake.

I think it, I'd have to re, I, I, I was, when I was so much younger, I wouldn't really think to compare the handwriting to my dad's fake. I think I'd have to read. When I was so much younger, I wouldn't really think to compare the handwriting

to my dad's handwriting. Santa Claus always suspiciously had the same fucking... I would need to research harder. I would imagine that the gas stations were not saving my dad's pictures. However, if they were,

I would like access to those. Yeah. Maybe do some handwriting analysis. An original Woza Cardozo would go for millions. Millions on the market. This is an original, like, in a main fucking gas station somewhere. You know what's funny for all these views? It made $5.

Fucking YouTube, come on. YouTube's such a motherfucker. Millions of views. Here's a Finski. Here's a five spot. Don't spend it all in one place, kid. Give me a fucking break, man. Listen up.

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You can basically ski for free all season long as long as you go skiing like once or twice. So go to IconPass, I-K-O-N-Pass.com before April 22nd when prices go up and spring promos go away. That's IconPass.com before April 22nd. Today we begin with, am I the asshole? This is an important one, I think. Am I the asshole for making my boyfriend feel uncomfortable after he insisted on joining us on girls night?

Boyfriend, 27, started asking me to join in on my girls night in. Every time I tried to say no, he'd be like, I have to join you or you'll have to cancel. It made me and the girls miserable having to sit there with him in the middle. This past Friday, he insisted on joining again. I had enough. I had enough. I had enough. I came up with an idea to get him to hate hanging out with us, made a plan and told the girls what we were going to do and they were down for it. The girls came and my boyfriend immediately sat with us and started ruining our conversations by steering them towards him, his work, his achievement. So here's what I did. I started bringing up gross slash embarrassing subjects and the girls were eating them up by talking about them.

Subjects like sex, periods, cramped diarrhea, hairy legs, fart getting trapped in the vulva and coming out the front. Squeezing shit out of our faces, cramped diarrhea. Cramped diarrhea, dirty underwear, and faces, cramp diarrhea, like, you know, yeah. Cramp diarrhea, dirty underwear, and again, cramp diarrhea. We talked about this stuff in boring details. Like, I could feel his discomfort

without even looking at him. But God, when I turned to see when he got quiet suddenly and he was getting red in his face and had sweat all over his forehead, I bet he found himself unable to relate to these subjects and couldn't be part of the conversation.

He got up from the couch ready to head out. I looked at him and asked where he was going and he was like ah i just remembered that i have an important meeting with a guy in about 10 minutes and i uh i have to go now he rushed out telling us to have fun the girls and i started laughing hysterically he came home and berated me saying i made him feel uncomfortable sick with horrible subjects i kept bringing up i said what are you talking about this is the typical stuff girls talk about all the time but he insisted i made

him upset and caused him to leave. He declined to speak to me again, to speak to me, and has been quiet since. The update is like, it's his apartment. He tells me who is and isn't allowed to come. And I thought this was fine since it's his place, though I help with the bills. So what do you got? Who's the though I help with the bills. So what do you got? Who's the asshole? He's the asshole.

I think it's him. He's the asshole for doing it in the first place. That's what I mean. They might have done a little bit it's a harmless little prank. It's a little bit rude to be like, let's single this person out and embarrass him. I thought it was going to be like they made fun of him. Yeah, me too.

It's just you being uncomfortable, dude. That's still on you. Right. It seems like, honestly, that's all I pictured, that all those subjects are the only things girls talk about. That's that in real housewives. Dirty underpants. I mean, at least they acknowledge they're dirty underpants.

At least they know. Lord knows we don't want to look at those. Well, let's go subject by subject. The period cramp diarrhea is a new one to me. I didn't know about that one. Apparently that's heavy. I'm sorry. It's not a new one to me now.

It's a newer one to me. I've learned about it lately. Through this, basically. We do a lot of this talk. Yeah. Sex and periods, no big deal. Cramp diarrhea, kind of gross. Definitely gross.

Hairy legs, not my favorite to touch or look at, but you can talk about them. Fart getting trapped in the vulva coming out the front is... I don't understand what most of those words mean in that order. I mean, it's a fart getting trapped in your pussy and just coming out your lips out the front. But I don't understand how that works. Neither do I, but I am not a fucking, you know, aeronautic genius. Are they talking about, like, when you kind of fart and you kind of just fucking rolls up and it feels pretty good? I guess so.

It just rolls up their pussy. You roll it up the back? And it squeaks out the top. Just between those tops. When you get a rolling fart, that's just good stuff. It does feel like it's like... Did you see that Indiana Jones guy just get

rolled up by the ball? No. It's so funny. It's at one of these places where they do that Indiana Jones guy just get rolled up by the ball? No. It's so funny. It's at like one of these places where they do an Indiana Jones show, and they have the giant ball. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he's supposed to run and get to a rope, and he just doesn't get there in time, and he just gets smushed by the ball. And everyone's like, oh, yo.

It must be pretty light, right? Yeah, I don't think it's anything. Oh, I haven't seen this angle, but yeah, look. He just gets rolled. It doesn't look like it's fun. No, that's an inflatable ball. Dude, that's heavy. An inflatable ball that big is heavy.

I don't think so. I definitely think so. Do you think he went to that doctor or anything? I think that you could wrench your neck. I think if that ball hits you in the neck, you're getting a shitty neck. I think he's he's all right i think yeah yeah yeah yeah um uh the so this but does it but hey i'm not done with the pussy fart yet yeah okay uh jack he's like let me make this clear i don't fart out of my pussy. Like, do pipes go in the same? Does a fart pipe, does that go into both holes?

Where's the fart pipe? What's the fart pipe? The butthole. But what in the inner workings of the plumbing? There's no inner workings. The fart comes out of the butthole. But what pipe is sending it to the butthole? The colon.

Okay. Right? Your colon is where your shit's made. Not in your intestines. That's a different thing. I think your intestines go into your colon. Okay. Your large intestine is your intestines and your small intestine is your colon.

And do any of your intestines go into your vagina? Nothing goes to your pussy. So this is a rolling fart. So what pipe goes into the vagina? There's no pipe. The pipes going to the vagina are like the baby pipes. No. There's got to be pee pipes.

Well, that's a hole at the top. But the hole in your pussy is like. But what pipes go to that hole then? Is there any way that there's some cross-pollination between holes to get a fart and maybe a pee together? Not the pipes outside, outside yes because that's what happened their fart rolled forward and then it went into their vagina and then you got to like the same way it kind of gets caught in your butt crack sometimes it was i don't think i think it was more in their vagina i think the fart came out of their vagina oh i've seen i've seen on

ken jack's tiktok it could roll up and get stuck in there so You can see a fart? How can you see a fart? No, no. Girls will be like, when a fart rolls in your pussy. Then they have to fart it out the front. The fart is not originating in the pussy. The fart originates in the butt. It comes out of the butt.

It comes out and just goes, and it gets, because for some fucking reason, God decided to put a pussy and an asshole this close together. Right. And so it rolled out, and then to put a pussy and an asshole this close together. Right. And so it rolled out and then it just- It rolls out and then rolls in.

Well, it rolls up. It's just a queef, right? No. No, because a queef is the air originating in the pussy. This is a fart that goes up your pussy. A queef is air just coming out of your pussy. Right. Like an air pocket.

But so this is- One of the worst words in the English language. That really makes me uncomfortable. People talk about queefs. Like that would get me to run out of your pussy right like an air pocket but so this is one of the worst words in the english language that really makes you uncomfortable people talk about queefs like that would get me to run out of the room girls are like oh when i queef it feels like this like no no no but what's funny is during during sex it's like whatever but talking about it i'm like you're vile the vile bitches but uh far getting trapped in the in the lips and rolling off the top is so it goes it's in the lips it doesn't go into the hole. No. I think it does.

I think that air pocket was right inside the hole. You have to have a tremendously loose pussy for that hair to just be for that air to just be able to pop in the hole. I don't think so. I think it can seep in like a rat. Like a rat? Air can just get skewed. I think it's more like a little leek. Like the genie going up.

It probably depends on what you're wearing. You've got some tight pants on. You've got a thong on. You fart into it, and then it just pushes it along. The next thing you know, it's in there. I'll tell you what. I wouldn't leave this room at all because I am interesting. This is fascinating.

I'd be like, I had my hand raised the whole time. I'd be like, all right, back to that fucking cramp diarrhea. What's that all about? Oh, my God. Is there ever any paper in it? That's technically a callback to last episode. It's fucking funny.

So, yeah, but listen, the reason I really wanted to do this, didn't think we'd be talking about the pipes, but the main thing is if you are a girl hanging out with the boys on boys night, you're a boy hanging out with the girls on girls night, you are hated by at the very least all the guests and maybe by your significant other too.

And even if they like you, you could be a cool girl that the boys like. You could be a cool boy that the girls like. Although I think that, I think it's still easier to be a girl who the boys like.

Yeah. Because if you drink and watch sports and shit, you can fit in. Trying to fit in with the girls is like, you can try to fit in, but you're never going to be one of us.

It's just never going to work. It's not. When I try to hang out with the ladies, I basically, I overcompensate, and I basically become like the court jester. Yes, yes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're like, what a funny story. Right, right. It's not cute. And even if you're happy and your girlfriend or boyfriend is happy to have you there, the rest of the room is going, get the fuck out of here. So we can talk about the guys we want to fuck know farting out of our pussies or whatever burn up our pussy up no out of no up it just put it Kevin this far goes up your

present it propelled your pussy propelled it John so like silly so it's like with like it's lips I think it's more like like horse. Horsey, yeah. I think it could be like a... Like this. Kristen, was that a fart? Kristen, did you just fart out your pussy lips? That's got to be gross, man. I feel like it shoots

Enough at you Imagine you fucking Sit in there And you just hear your friend Fart out of pussy That's like I just Pussy farted In the middle of the fucking

In the middle of the night I can tell by the vibration That was out of your Fucking pussy I've never heard Something like that In my life I mean it depends On how limp you are right I've never heard something like that in my life.

I mean, it depends on how lippy you are, right? Is that just a fat fart out of your fat fucking lips, Kristen? You're just like, no, no. And the girls are like, yeah. Yeah, we know you have a fat pussy, Kristen. We know you have a fat pussy and we know you ate Mexican. We saw you at breakd dancing when you came home drunk. Anyway, the point was don't crash girls night or boys night because all the friends will hate you. Your significant other might hate you. And even if they don't and they like you,

you have to recognize that they'll grow to resent you because you're ruining what's supposed to be a special thing with the homies. Yeah. Or the ladies. Ladies can be homies too. Ladies can be homies too. Ladies as pimps too. Ladies as homies too.

Ladies as pimps too. Come on. Brush your shoulders off. It's just a fact. Okay. Next, am I the asshole? Am I the asshole for switching from non-dairy to dairy milk and inadvertently making my flatmate shit herself in an interview?

I'm going to go ahead and say yes off the bat. We'll see if there's any details that exonerate you, but that sounds pretty fucked up. I'm not lactose intolerant. I buy hazelnut milk because I love hazelnut milk syrup in my coffee, and adding hazelnut milk makes it even more nutty. My flatmate is severely lactose intolerant though and has been drinking my milk ever since she moved in with me a few months ago. I don't have an issue sharing with her, but the issue is that she drinks so much of it all day every day that I'll get a single cup of

coffee out of it, out of an entire carton. I can't read today. Sometimes she'll drink the entire carton before I've even had a single drink and then she never replaces it or refunds me or even acknowledges that it was hers to drink. She's swaying me. She's swaying me. At some point, she stopped buying her own milk, and I was having to buy new milk daily. This is like these milk bitches. New milk every day is crazy. I asked her many times why she was drinking my milk, and she said that if she does,

she can just buy a new carton, and she would say sorry, and that she would grab the first milk she saw, and that she'd get me a new one, but she just never would. She started getting annoyed when I brought it up, and would say I was being overdramatic when I mentioned how much it was costing me. Last week, I got sick of it, and decided to go back to drinking dairy milk, thinking that as she's severely lactose intolerant, she would stop and buy her own milk. I thought wrong.

The dairy milk is clearly labeled. It has a bright red label on the side that says cow's milk, but she still helped herself. Unfortunately, that day she decided to drink my dairy milk was the same day that she had a new job interview, and the effects of the dairy-laced coffee she took with her kicked in, she was in the middle of it. She didn't make it in time.

She came home absolutely furious and laid into me about how I ruined her life, how this job was the opportunity she needed, and destroyed it for her by being a selfish cunt, thinking that I did it deliberately because I was too uptight to share my milk. Here are my reasons why I think my flatmate thinks I am in the wrong. One, I knew she was lactose intolerant, so if she drank my milk, she would get violently ill. So by switching to dairy milk when I knew she was drinking my milk

and might potentially drink it again, I was putting her at risk. Two, she also said that sharing milk isn't a big deal and that I'm selfish. She thinks I was overreacting and being cruel just for the sake of it. She has threatened to report me to the police, but I don't think she has a leg to stand on.

Regardless, she is making our flat very uncomfortable to live in. She's taken my leftovers from the fridge and opened up my milk and left it to ruin leaves her mess everywhere for me to clean up and has misplaced documents of line of mine no i thought not the asshole at all i didn't realize that like i thought she like poured like yeah no not like like cow's milk into a regular into one that's just okay this is just this is like this girl is so used to just me providing her with an endless source of hazelnut milk and she just opens that shit up grabs it drinks it pours it mixes it doesn't even think twice about it i like i like to think that she saw it and she's like i don't even care

like she's like i'm gonna have my coffee. She's like, I'm going to have my coffee. I'm going to take my coffee and I'm going to fucking bite the ice cream in the bathroom. I'm going to eat that thing on the can. This is how much I need my dairy in me. This is also classic chick stuff. This is like the... Yeah, I had 45 cups of milk and I can't believe I shit myself. This is the charcuterie. I spent the whole weekend with the girls eating fucking cheese.

And I'm farting out of my pussy. Now I don't understand why I can't stop shitting these diarrhea farts or whatever they were. Diarrhea. Cramp diarrhea. Cramp diarrhea. No, it's because you just ate a whole cow of dairy. It is also crazy to think of like When you say you shit yourself at the interview

Do you mean you had to embarrassingly run out of the interview To get to the bathroom in time Or did you shit yourself I like to think of a Van Wilder style Yeah like into the garbage can Into the garbage can Dude you ever get That

Was disgustingly graphic That Your body moves That was like body acting That was disgustingly graphic. Your body moves. That was like body acting. That was disgusting. Bro, one time when I was coming home from King Richard's Fair, I had to shit so bad that I bought a magic necklace. And the magic necklace would make me not have to shit.

But my sister just kept taking it from me, so I'd be in the backseat of the car, like, sweating. You know when you get that shit in the gear? You just have to hold it in? Yeah. I'd be like, please can I have it back?

Please can I have it back? How old were you? God, I was probably eight, two, six. I don't know. Same age as I always say. That is so mean to do to someone. To steal their magic necklace when they're in a poop

tragedy. Obviously, it was a placebo, but it was just... It was like, alright, alright, I don't have to go. I don't have to go. And I didn't want to make a scene in the car. So I would just be like... You were having a poop emergency and you had something to lean on and she just kicked that crutch out from under yeah that ain't right bro that ain't right i didn't end up shitting myself

to be clear but i did have to stop at dunkin donuts unreal but it works better than magic necklaces getting to a toilet and shitting in it. I was like, where is King Richard's Fair? It's in like Norwood, Mass, I think. I forget exactly where it was, but basically it was going to be like two hours in the car or just, I don't know, stopping shit. King Richard's Fair, man.

What a legendary place. All right. Voicemails today. Mugsy jeans are straight up the most comfortable jeans in the world. I am a guy who, as I'm getting older, I value comfort over everything. Let's be honest. I've always valued comfort over everything, but now in my old age, it's certainly the case. And especially post pandemic. Once I got used to that world, that life of constant sweatpants, I was like, I can't go

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That's the KFC for 10% off your entire roommate. Let's just get to the point. Would you rather fuck your hot cousin or adopted stepsister? Me, I went with... So it's not what I thought it was about. No.

Even now. Cousin? I don't know what that has to do with something. I feel like... Your sister is still your sister. No. No, you fuck the person who has no blood connection to you. You goddamn lunatic. Now, I'm assuming he meant hot cousin and not hot stepsister. Yeah, yeah.

Because otherwise, if they're both hot, there's literally no reason to pick the cousin. Now, if your adopted sister is butt, now, now there's a discussion to be had. Also, but the, I think more so than the actual DNA

matters how much time you spent with them. Oh, well, then you're fucking your cousin. Uh-huh. Then you're probably fucking your cousin.

Well, it depends. Did the stepsister come into your life when you were, like, 15? Either way, your stepsister, you're seen every day of your life. If youhuh. Then you're probably fucking your cousin. Well, it depends. Did the step-sisters come into your life when you were like 15? Either way, your step-sisters you're seeing every day of your life.

raised together. If you were raised together, like... Okay, let's be clear. If you're raised together, you're absolutely not fucking them. Right.

Okay. That's what I'm saying. But if they come into your life late, but you see them every day and you're trying to avoid that, you're going to probably fuck your cousin.

Probably, yeah. Because you don't see cousins that often. You know what I say? If you fuck this girl and you see her every day, that's just consistent pussy, bro. That's just like, sorry that my mom and your dad fell in love. We're still going to fuck. I think you're opening yourself up to a world of

a world of hurt Donnie I think talk about shitting where you eat that is a difficult like cause then right things go awry

now I gotta break up my parents your family now I gotta fucking somehow convince these two to get divorced cause I'm tired of seeing his daughter

around the house that's a whole thing now I have to turn into an evil villain yeah now I need to run you out of town that's tough that's. That's a whole thing. Now I have to turn into an evil villain. Yeah, now I need to run you out of town. That's tough. That's tough. If I just fucked my cousin, I would never see you.

How about this? She can go back to Alabama, wherever she's from. Well, you know, I know what you're saying there, but she's not from Alabama. These are just normal New England people that are going to be fucking each other. Yeah, no, you're right. I was trying to skate on that one. I feel like, I mean, she's super hot. Like, cool.

That's a bonus. You're not going to see her all the time. That's a plus. But I think you try to take the non-blood every single time and just. How about this? I take. Would you? No, I was kind of pussyfooting around.

I'm going to put my foot down here. You're fucking your cousin. I'm not fucking the person who lives in the house. Okay. How about this? Would you rather fuck your stepsister secretly or out in the open? Secretly, dude. I'd rather fuck everybody secretly.

I don't want anyone to know I'm fucking everyone. I think there's something to the idea of if I tell you. I'm going to be the first straight guy on the down low. That's what my life goal would be. My overage in the straight closet. I'm straight on the low, i just fucking fucking yeah our basements yeah you don't you don't ever know who i'm fucking i feel like if you fuck your adopted stepsister and you do it in secret you are playing into the idea that it's like taboo and it's wrong if i if i start fucking

my stepsister i promise you i'm coming out with it i'm getting ahead of it and i'm spin zoning it being like this bitch there's no reason i can't fuck her except a piece of paper yeah yeah no but because if you because if you start to hide it you sound like then you think there's then you're you're you're saying it's wrong it well it is just it's not wrong it is it is it's not wrong you sound like you sound like not wrong. You sound like Johnny Depp when he gets arrested and blow with all that weed and it's like,

so what do I do? I took the magical plants over some of the lines. I moved them. Yeah. So what? I broke a couple of fucking immoral rules

because I can't do it. That's what I mean. There's nothing immoral. Unfortunately, those lines are real. Okay, how about this? And the rules you broke are laws of humanity.

How about this? How about If you Fuck Your Uh How about if you fuck Like your friend's Sibling

It's not a big deal Nah I still do it on the low though Fine you can do everything On the low you creep But all we're talking about Is that the girl You choose to fuck Happens to have

A Familial connection To someone else in your family. What's the big deal? Sounds like you just said that person's in my family. No. You said a familial... A familial... A familial collection... Jesus.

A familial connection to someone in my family no they the person you're fucking is connected to someone

familial connected to a person that another person in your family is fucking that's all this is like

if brothers fuck sisters is there a problem with that no I rest my case I've never argued that there's a problem

I so we're on the same page you can fuck adopted step siblings we're on the same page you can fuck whoever you want as my case I'm I've never argued that there's a problem I I so we're on the same page you can fuck adopted steps of it so we're on the same page you can fuck whoever you want as long as I'm the low um no kids no kids that's the most on the low bro they were super on the low about that for a while that was that was really I I feel like a lot of times people will be like oh my god i gotta set you up with my this my that so why not be like i gotta set you up with my daughter as a matter of fact if i were to fucking get married and there was and there was a brady bunch situation i would probably have these kids fuck each other, keep it all in the family. It's like ten birds with one stone.

Boy, you are... I'm going to start a revolution. You are starting to shred in some dangerous waters here. I agree. Yeah, sure, I would be my kid's pimp. That's what I'm saying. I think if the relationships break up, you're right. Everything goes to shit.

If they don't, Christmas, birthdays, everything is just all in one shot. This is brilliant. I know. This is Costanza and Jerry. This is brilliant. And when Jerry's just like, well, I'm not going to do it anymore. Like, it is. Restaurants together, dinners together, whatever he says.

And it is never going to work. You are going to have to poison your children with poisonous envelopes so that they die and you get out of it. It's not going to work, but there's not a reason why we shouldn't try. That's my point. It's not like there's a hard stop with blood. Bro, here's the deal. It's adopted, bro! No, what you're doing is making sense to me, and that is an argument against it.

That's true. That's true. I'm like, yeah, that makes sense. Sure. Risk a humongous risk for a moderate reward. It depends on how hot she is and how good she fucks. As long as you're not, by the way, I want to be clear. I mean when you're pimping your kids.

Oh, yeah, yeah. When you're pimping your kids, the risk is that you – The risk reward is way off. It's way – like the reward is moderate at best. Honestly, the reward probably sucks too. It sucks. Like, oh, yeah, we spend more time together. There's no reason to pimp your kids.

This is – there is – Yeah, I want to be clear. Like I don't want any sort of Woody Allen shit. I'm not doing anything to my stepkids. We're talking step-siblings. That should be allowed. But you said if you were the husband and you – Yeah.

Now, thinking it through, it's not a good idea. It's a bad idea. It's always a bad idea to pimp kids. That's probably true. It's like Ronaldo. It's always a bad idea to slap children. Sometimes they end up autistic. Next.

By the way, severance I don't think has anything to do with this. I'm sure. I mean, you've only seen a few episodes, right? I don't think has anything to do with this I'm sure I mean you've only seen a few episodes right I don't think I'm sure there's

a big scene maybe I feel like it's more just like philosophical debates and shit like that but everyone's buzzing about it

I watched like an episode and a half and it did not grasp me I was so excited about it and the first episodes are

pretty weird so maybe I need to go back and give it another shot hey KFC fight Nick Jackie coming at you live from Nashville Tennessee weird so maybe i need to go back and give another shot hey kfc fights nick jackie uh coming up live from nashville tennessee excited to see you guys here in a couple days my question to you guys

today is kind of a a metric that i made up to gauge a relationship um it's called cost per nut so this all came from my best friend has never lived in the same city as his girlfriend. She lived in Mississippi. He lived in Alabama. Now we both live in Tennessee and she lives in New Jersey. So every time he sees her, he spends a ton of money and only gets a couple nuts off. So it's cost per nuts through the roof. He's currently thinking about moving to New York City with her, which would just increase his cost per nut even more so yeah let me know what you guys think an appropriate

cost per nut in their relationship is and we're both really excited to see you guys here in a couple days that's a depressing question because you don't want to do that Matt not with John Feidelberg John Feidelberg values nuts so little it's crazy no no no Not with John Feidelberg. John Feidelberg values nuts so little.

It's crazy. No, no, no. I think the math is like, I would get, it's weird because like. Yeah, I know what you're going to say. It's high, but it's also like you don't value them at that. Yeah. But you end up paying them at that. I would bet it is, whew, like cost per nut over my lifetime. Brother, I'm divorced.

Do you know what my cost per nuts are? I'm divorced. I'm divorced. I had sex two times in four years that resulted in two kids. My cost per nut is in the hundreds of thousands. There was a four or five year stretch where my sex was hundreds of thousands of dollars of nuts. Because it was just too... I forgot I'm playing this game with fucking O2 Shaq.

Oh, you had a couple long distance relationships. Oh, you had a couple bad relationships where you can get... Yeah. Don't try it, bro. Don't come in the paint with me, dog. Get out of here. I was going to say, in college,

I had to fly southwest. God. Oh, man. I can actually... You know how bad my cost per nuts is? I have the billable receipts. I can show you

physical receipts on this shit. Every time my kid needs a new fucking activity, put a tower towards that nut. This nut just keeps getting more expensive. Yeah, your nuts just grow. They grow in perpetuity. They grow forever. Once my kids go to college, tack it

onto that nut. Millions upon millions of dollars for those two nuts. Literally millions of dollars for that. That is... I don't even remember that in either of them. That is... So, like, every time I have sex now,

unrelated to that, it's like a deck chair off the Titanic. It's like, add another nut that didn't cost any money, you bring the average down, like, $15. Good. Now it's down to, you know, $14,990,000. God damn it. Pussy's down to $14,990,000. God damn it. Pussy's expensive, man.

I was going to say, speaking for the normal people, which I guess I'm the abnormal person because I'm not divorced. Most people are divorced. Don't paint me like that. I honestly, I would think it's in the thousands.

You think that No no no Are you saying what is your cost per nut Or what it should be But that's wrong I think it should be It's probably pretty close to a thousand dollars Every time you've come No no no I'm talking about like in relationships

And stuff like that I'm thinking I relationships and stuff like that. I'm thinking about... No, because then you... I don't know, man. I think most nuts are very expensive if you factor in your mental health. Can you put a dollar amount on peace of mind? Because then... In that case, I'm going to start to...

I might argue that I have expensive nuts as well. You can come this way, bro. Oh, yeah, I can jump in the pool. You can be co-captain or something like that. No, you'll be first mate on this ship. You can come this way, bro. Oh yeah, I can jump in the pool. You can be co-captain or something like that. No, you'll be first mate on this ship. You deserve it. Because then it's like, yeah. Really, in my mind,

in my experience, what he's talking about, I don't mind. I don't mind literally cost per nut, like I have to fly and then pay for dinner and shit. Because as we've talked about, the long distance relationship can be a very good thing. If you are, whatever it costs,

it's worth it, baby. Right. What I'm talking about is the non tangible. If we want to assign a dollar amount to, I fucked you because you are a freak in bed. And now my life is like a wreck because of it. That sort of cost per nut is thousands upon

thousands of dollars because my mental health aspect and like my my my happiness is just like not there you know it's like it's there when it's there when you're there and then when you're not there it's a fucking nightmare and not in a cute way. It's a whole fucking thing. Yeah. You're right. Yeah. I mean, I'm long. I would not move to New York. I have a long standing. Ever since I was in college,

I've said long distance is the right distance. Long distance relationships are awesome. I agree with you until you meet the right person. That's really what's sad. Why we agree with this is once you do find someone you like to be around, you want to be around them. Well, I'd like to be around them. It's just like I also like to be alone.

It is just like... I would argue... You can like to be around a person. I like to be around my family. There are times when I'm living at home, I walk in the house, I'm just like, what the fuck are you doing? I agree. But I do think that, allegedly, there are relationships where that ends and you're happy to go home. No fucking chance.

Are you never a little disappointed that there's someone else in your house when you go home? That just doesn't happen? Suck my fucking ass. Have seen this the show the ultimatum no it's the new it's it's the same thing as love is blind it's just like a new you do reality shows you're getting out of control with this well it's amazing it's nick lachey and uh vanessa lachey are the hosts again this is is, so me and you are dating. I hit you with an ultimatum. Like, you have to marry me.

Like, you have until, like, whatever date to propose or we're done. We bring in a bunch of other couples who all are, one of them is issuing an ultimatum. And we all just swing. What the? Yeah. That was a twist I didn't think. Yeah. Yeah.

Wait. So don't fucking talk down to me because my shows are awesome. What? This sounds like chaos. Yes, it is. It's sickening, actually. These producers who do this should be arrested because they are literally torture artists. So, like, I would date Jackie.

You would date Pads. Nick would date this, that. And it's like to see maybe I'm not going to take your ultimatum because i found someone else maybe i will there's one other person on a six so so they they there's i think there's like probably like i don't know let's say 10 couples and they spend three weeks with another person like i think fucking and hanging out i haven't watched all of it yet and then come back after three weeks and decide whether they want to A, accept basically your ultimatum. B,

maybe be with the other person. C, like don't be with any of you. But it is jacked up, dude. And because what made me think of it is there's this girl. There's one guy and one girl. The guy clearly wants to just be with her. And he's like, I don't want to be doing this.

I just want to fucking date you. You're the girl of's like, I don't want to be doing this. I just want to fucking, like, date you. You're the girl of my dreams. I don't want to be here. The girl is like, I haven't been single since I was, like, 18. And so, like, being wooed and flirted with, like, feels great. And then she's doing her confessional. She's like, there's no way. There is no way he's not excited to be around another woman for three weeks with no strings attached.

Like, no way. And I know what she's saying. But then they cut to this guy crying in the bathroom. And he's like, I don't want to do this. And she's just like, I'm here to fucking. I want to fuck this guy and get all the attention. And, like, so does he. And he's like, no, I don't.

It is whacked out, man. It is fucked up. So I know what you mean. But, you know but there are some people who are like, no. There aren't people who never, ever are just like, get the fuck out of the house. I want to be here. Of course never. I want to watch TV alone. That's all I want to do.

I think that there are people out there who find the right one where it's like vast majority of the time. I'd rather you be there than not. It's crazy. It's crazy. It's fucking crazy, man. It's like vast majority of the time. I'd rather you be there than not. It's crazy. It's crazy. It's fucking crazy, man. It's tough. There's also, you know, apparently there's fucking unicorns and Loch Ness monsters too. I don't know what to tell you, man.

Do me a favor right now. Just smell yourself. Just give yourself a whiff. Just like a... You probably smell terrible. You probably smell like nothing. You probably either... At worst, you smell bad.

At best, you just smell boring. There's nothing better than smelling good and being clean. And when you look good, you smell good, you feel good, you play good. Shout out Deion Sanders. So that's what you got to do with wood. Barstool Sports' grooming line with everything you need from the shower to the power. That's right, Jackie. From body wash and shampoo and conditioners to lotions and creams,

all sorts of toiletries, everything in the bathroom, everything's under $15. And right now, Wood has different scents from the Golden Hour with smooth brandy and Madagascar vanilla. That's available in deodorant, shampoo, and conditioner. They've also got grass tracks and beach smell. All these different scents that are all great for guys. So make sure that you smell good and you groom yourself and you look good.

Go to GetWood.com, W-O-U-L-D, or go to your local cbs get wood today what's up kfc fights nick jackie whoever else is producing quick uh would you rather for you um would you rather every time you yawned you shit your pants or every time you sneeze you throw up and both of those happen immediately after you yawn or sneeze. In my opinion, I'd rather throw up every time I sneeze. Oh, I'm taking the sneeze. No, I have to take the yawning, yeah. I mean, I yawn all the time. All the time.

I'm a big yawner. I don't sneeze that often. I yawn all the time. Okay, so I don't sneeze that often, but I've told you recently when I do, I think I've done it a couple times here, seven or eight sneezes. Maybe I'll get to two, but I'm one loud. I'm pretty loud too and pretty forceful, and then I do seven of them. I almost sneeze and throw up as it is right now

because it becomes such a production that I'm sneezing, and there's saliva, and then I swallow it. It's basically it's basically like pukes using and just throw fucks but yeah it's like a drool in and shit but the thing about the yawns are you're gonna yawn first the time at night. Here it goes. Yep. I'm re-tuned. So contagious. We just made everyone. He's about to do it too. Pat's about to do it too.

Yep. We just made everyone listening shit their pants. And then once it starts, you know, right now as we record, it's 445. We've been recording for like four hours. And I start to get tired. And then it's just they start rolling in. Yeah. And that would mean

that it starts rolling out. You could use the gift for evil though. Isn't that crazy? It's one of my favorite things in the world. I don't get it. I never will get it.

The contagious yawn is probably the coolest thing about humans. If we just made you yawn please tweet us that we made you yawn. Because we could do it. We could just make the world shit their pants. Yeah.

Like all at once. Like, watch out. That would be fun. Like, you can't make someone sneeze. If you take the yawn, I'm not going to do it this time. I'm not doing it this time. I'm not doing it this time. If you take the yawn, I didn't do it.

If you take the yawn, you have the ability to make anyone shit their pants whenever you want them to. Yeah. And, yeah, you got to take a bullet yourself. Yeah. Can I say this? It's not like you don't walk away un- messy, but, you know. Like, you could really use that for evil. Like, you know, you're in business.

Oh, you start giving yourself enemas to go. Well, how about this? Bro, what if you gave yourself an enema And then you went And made someone Shit their pants What about this Because you couldn't Shit your pants Face time I'm just on the bowl

And I call you In the middle of your Fucking presentation And I just go Yo John I'm on the bowl I'm like And you're on stage

In front of like 200 people Like oh shit That would be awesome That would be great That's like a superhero With a superpower And you're on stage in front of like 200 people like, oh, shit. That would be awesome. That would be great. That's like a superhero with a superpower. You all right?

My left nut hurts so bad. I don't know why. Why? I just kind of got tightened up. Is it twisted? I don't think so. It hurts though. All right. All right.

Let's call it on that note. Jesus All right. Let's call it on that note. Jesus Christ almighty. Let's call it. It feels like someone's twisting it right now. Yeah, it sounds like someone's twisting it right now. All right. Let's get to our interviews. Today we've got Tyrese and Adam Pally in Sonic the Hedgehog 2. Tyrese is an awesome dude.

Just like full of personality. One of the guys who I look up to in the sense of when people say like, if you got rich, what's the first thing you would do? Tyrese did all the cool things. Like it's like, you know, I would get a McDonald's in my house. Like Tyrese is like, yeah, I'll do that. You know, he had the Benihana. He had the Starbucks and the soda machines and the Transformers. Like his house is like a fun factory. He had the Starbucks and the soda machines and the Transformers.

His house is like a fun factory. And all the while doing it, he was an R&B star and then just parlayed it into acting in one of the biggest franchises of all time. Now he's getting that Marvel money. And he's a delight to talk to. So we got Tyrese on the program. Smoking a hookah, by the way. What a move. Just sitting there like Arabian Nights or something.

Puffing away like the Cheshire Cat. Unbelievable. Tyrese is brought to you by GameTime. GameTime tickets is one of the biggest initiatives at Barstool in a long time. With baseball being back and NBA and NHL playoffs on the horizon, you want to be able to get last-minute tickets, you've got to get the GameTime app. We're talking all the best seats you can get,

you know, from behind home plate, courtside. Before GameTime was ever a sponsor, I used GameTime. Really? Yeah. So that's the proof you need. I love fucking having a few beers and being like, hey, let's go to the game. A little impulse decision.

That last-minute impulse buy is what Game Time does. It's the last-minute price drops that they have for all the seats right when the game's about to go off. People got to sell their tickets. They want to move it at whatever cost, even if they got to take a loss. And so next thing you know, you're sitting courtside because somebody's you know the the tickets dropped so low in price at the last minute and uh you you know that that that you're right that that um impulse buy of like yo should we just like go to the garden right now and you're like no but yes why not we can't no parents there's no one stopping me and then you look the app and it's like, it's not even going to cost me that much either.

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Lowest prices. Guaranteed. Oh, what's going on, man? What's up, Tyrese? How you doing, brother? Man, what is going on? I heard we gonna be talking for 30 minutes. I got some stories to tell y'all, man. What do you got for us, man? I feel like you're one of these dudes who has

the most stories in Hollywood low-key. I ain't been around that long. I ain't got the most stories, but, low key. Like you want, you want, you want tales. I ain't been around that long. I ain't got the most stories, but I got some stories. I got to tell y'all, man. First of all, I don't know how deep, I'm never going to assume.

I don't know how deep y'all are into this Marvel universe, but bro, it is a level of secrecy, like nothing i've ever experienced in my freaking life i can imagine come on even like i mean but you've been in the gay you've been in the mix in in universes like i i know when some characters some actors get in and they're like oh i've never done something like this you got transformers you got fast this is still like even crazy compared to that hey man listen bro the transformers mafia and i'm i don't say mafia in a bad way i'm just talking about the level of secrecy because you can't be somebody to talk and run your mind you can't be backed into a corner people get tortured and they

never talk you know if this is it for me this is it for me, this is it for me. And you just there fucking hanging. Bah! Bah! Bah! They fucking, they're electrocuting you. You can't say nothing. So I've already been electrocuted. I've already had a scary pit bull barking at me. Okay, I won't say nothing.

I've already dealt with all of that. But this is a different kind of mob. So I have to just tell you all a story. Let it rip. OK, so I got to set. We shot this in London. I got to set. I did all my scenes for the morning.

I was very impressed with the first AD because he's like, we're going to get you in. We're going to shoot your scenes. And then a little glitch because, you know, the overcast in London be real. It was like, you know, before lunch, the sun was out and now we got a little overcast. We apologize. And they gave I can't give you my secret name, but they couldn't even say my name on the walkie talkie. They couldn't say Tyrese. They couldn't say my characters that they just gave me a code word. So you're getting like, like the U S president, like the Eagles landing kind of code word. Yeah. Like that. You know what I'm saying? So, so, you know, I love smoking hookah. I'm smoking hookah now. I love to smoke. So I go to the hookah lounge on my lunch break.

And then they told me that after lunch is over, you don't have to come right back and film. So I'm like, cool. I'm going to go hit the hookah lounge for my break. Bro, I'm at the hookah lounge. I probably got four puffs in, bro. I'm like this, chilling. Next thing you know,

I go back up. I go back up. My hookah flies out of my mouth because it's a metal tip. They pulled out a magnet and the whole hookah flies out of my mouth because it's a metal tip they pulled out a magnet and the whole hookah just went and flew up on the wall and i'm like what the fuck is going on 12 suvs pulled up they they came up on me my hookah my food is all up against the wall fucking with me what oh i'm telling you they put me in handcuffs i got in the back seat and they said we apologize code word without saying my name

you left the set with your morbius clothing on oh my god okay now in the, it shows my arm. I can talk about it now. Shows my arm. I went to the hookah lounge with my arm on. I had it covered up, bro. My sleeve was down. You know what I mean? I went to media training. They told me, cover up your arm. So I'm smoking hookah like this, bro.

I'm like, cover up my arm. Dude, that is, yo. That's crazy's crazy but i gotta be honest tyrese hitting the hookah lounge midday on the lunch break is a move bro i love doing the interview with you i love doing your man listen i'm fully committed to my craft because at this point i'm just trying to figure out how sexy can I be while smoking? So you got the hookah that comes out the front. You got the hookah that comes out the side. So I'll be talking.

I'm flirting like this. How often are you hitting the hookah? Look at that. Is this like every day you wake up and you're just puffing? Hey, man, listen, man, you know, I'm about that life. I haven't gotten into the vapes, but I'm about that life. Yeah, apparently. But I'm about that life, you know what I mean? And I don't do nothing else.

But I was like, you know, if y'all telling me I ain't got to come right back after lunch, then, you know, I went on Google Maps and I looked up a hookah spot. And I went to chill. I didn't know 12 SUVs was going to pull up. So wait, so you're in London solo at the

Hookah Lounge. I'm there with two people from my team. Okay, so you weren't solo, but you're just hanging out. But they arrested me. Did they actually throw you in cuffs? Bro, I was in the back seat, man. Get out of town, dude.

I was in the back seat, man. I'm going to tell you, once I got in the back seat man i'm gonna tell you once i got in the back seat they like darkened all the windows and i'm looking around like yo man i don't even know where i'm at if anybody had called my phone like where are you where are you where did they take you i don't even know i couldn't even know man i couldn't look out the windows man i couldn't give up no cross streets bro you gotta count how many lefts and rights that's how you get there we took two lefts and a right but i have to tell y'all another thing that people don't know and it's because again i'm not gonna assume that y'all not super heavy marvel comics spider there's people that live online on TikTok and social media,

and they're grabbing every Easter egg, and they're making all these connections. I've never experienced that, bro. That's crazy, dude. They go so hard, man. It's like it is their passion, their life, their everything. They go hard, bro. The greatest FBI agents are fans of the Marvel Spidey universe, man.

And I'm playing on all sorts of cases. I was going to say, Simon Stroud could probably use a pointer or two from them. I'm an FBI agent, Agent Simon Stroud. I'm in this thing, man. And I'm like, yo, man, how y'all know more about my job than me? You know what I'm saying? Like, why y'all got all these trucks pulling up, man.

I'm just here smoking hook. I ain't bothering nobody. Yeah. It's a lot of pressure playing those roles to those fans. Like if you don't deliver there, they're not happy with this shit. Let me tell y'all something. We wasn't allowed on the set when we wasn't filming our scenes because they wanted us.

They wanted all the other scenes in the movie to be a secret. They sent me my pages for the stuff that I'm doing in the movie to be a secret they sent me my pages for the stuff that i'm doing in the movie and that's it so you don't even know any like you you know nothing about other characters nothing about the ending whatever i watched the movie last night for the first time no shit i was able to watch the movie from top to bottom now as far as what i remember before the movie started, I had to pee. And I forgot that I had to

pee, man, because I could not take my eyes off the screen. That's the sign of a good movie. That's the sign of a good movie. I know they paid me a lot of money to be in the movie, but they can't pay for my opinion of the movie. Right. Shit was amazing, bro.

Shit's good? Jared Leto is the monster, bro. Leto's got a bit of a reputation for being a bit of a maniac on set. He sent you... I remember back on Suicide Squad, he was mailing them all weird stuff. Nothing for you? Don't worry about all that.

It's whatever it takes to deliver. And if I gotta get to that level to get what I just seen in the movie, I'm on my way. I'm inspired. Listen, man, go ahead and get your interviews in now because when I go shoot Morbius 2, I'm not talking to nobody.

So how big is it for you? Transformers is obviously a huge franchise Fast and the Furious is going to be the most prolific franchise of all fucking time when it's said and done

so when you when you get the part and you're in the Marvel world is that you know where does that rank is that a big deal and the orange juice hookah and orange juice

I love it man I love the whole style but how much how important is that because you've already been a part of big time franchisesises, but Marvel... Was that chicken? Croissant! Croissant!

I thought it was chicken for a second. I thought it was chicken because it was brown. Croissant with butter. Absolutely. Croissants are on the radar, by the way. Croissant sprinkled on my sweater. Go ahead. How important is that Marvel... Croissants are on the radar, by the way. The croissant sprinkled on my sweater. Go ahead.

How important is that Marvel, you know, getting in that Marvel world when you've already been a part of, you know, monster franchises? First of all, it was a world that I was beyond proud to be a part of, man. But it was a world that came with a level of secrecy that drove me nuts, bro. Yeah, that's got to be tough. That's weird. And guess what? I now understand, man. It was like people were taking pictures.

Every location that we went to, we had people booking hotel rooms to take pictures of our set. Really? Like, I've seen that shit with, like, Game of Thrones, like that. You can tell they got, like, the telephoto lenses from a mile away. Bro, listen, man, Jared Leto had a couple of scenes that he shot where he had to be around the general public. And we shot some scene in the general public. Stuff was leaking on the Internet. I was like, yo, who does this? Who goes this far? Yeah. Like also, why? What's the point? Like, why do you want to ruin it for yourself?

Just just wait for the movie to come out and watch the movie. Listen, man, when you walk up to somebody and you see that they got a camera in their hand and they filming on the set and they don't even speak English and they're in London, you expect like walk up to somebody and you're like, hey, man, put your camera down, man.

What we doing here is confidential. And they start speaking in a whole nother language. You're like, hey, man, put your camera down, man. What we're doing here is confidential. And they start speaking in a whole nother language. You're like, oh, my God, you actually flew in town. Yeah, yeah, yeah. To take pictures of the set because you want to be the first one to give up some Easter eggs and some secrets? This is ridiculous, man. And now I understand why 12 black trucks pulled up on me. Yeah, it's big business.

I'm looking out for my best interest. Yeah, yeah, for real. Yo, speaking of Easter eggs, we were just talking about this one on the internet from Fast and the Furious. You know the details a little bit better than me. So we want to ask you this question because it's on Reddit. Like Fast and the Furious fans have been debating it for a while now. Now, Tyrese, I would like to say something real quick. First of all, this is so crazy.

You do know I went to media training, right? You do know you're not going to be able to get me to confirm or deny anything. No, no, no, no, no, no. This isn't. I already see it. I already see it going up in the sky. I'm going to catch that thing midair like a comic book character and go, no. Bro, hand to God.

See, I was just saying, why would you want to ruin it for yourself? I'm not trying to. No, we're not doing that. This is old school fast question here. So the question is, in Fast 1, when Paul Walker goes into Vin Diesel's house party, I Got Hose is playing. Tej Parker enters the Fast universe in Too Fast, Too Furious. So who is singing I Got Hose is it tez parker or is it

ludicrous who is it man who is it okay that's a really good question now we found out when we shot too fast that they were fans of ludicrous, the rapper and Tyrese to sing, which is why we were a part of the soundtrack for too fast, too furious. That makes sense. You'll notice fire soundtrack. We have not been a part of the soundtrack since then. Right,

right. So what's that one, though? That's that in between. So they used us and all of our fans and the music side got them to follow us into the movie side.

And then when shit blew up, they ain't want it. They ain't want to have the crossover going. Because it gets confusing. It's who's singing what in the universe at that point.

It's called a crossover. They crossed us over and they told us to never look back you can't go back was that always part of the plan i mean you like you know you got oh Area Coast Hose Hose I like to think it's Tej. I like to think before they moved down to Miami, Tej had a little rap career going and then decided to focus

on the street racing. I agree, bro. That's what happened, man. Even listen, man. Go look at the video, man. We got Paul Walker in the music video. It was like too fast. Yeah. Too furious.

Yup. Too fast. Too fast. Oh, man. Hey. Fire. We got out of there, man. It was like no more videos for y'all.

It was like, damn, man. This is when the mafia started. Right there. Yeah. Yo, if you, all right, here's a question for you. If you had to marry, fuck, kill your three franchises, you got to marry, fuck, kill the Marvel Universe,

the Fast Universe, the Transformers Universe. I know you're not going to answer the question. You've been to media training. Give me your little dance around for it. Wait, hold on. You say what? You got to marry one, you got to fuck one, and you got to kill one. I'm not doing none of that, man.

Yeah, we knew. Because of all of the franchises, man, I'm able to order a chicken sandwich at Chick-fil-A and put cheese on it, bro. That's that level. That's the level you want to reach. What do you get? You can't always get the cheese on your chicken sandwich, bro. I go spicy chicken with the pepper jack.

What's your order? Come on, man. I'm ordering that number one with no pickles, man. You know what I'm saying? All the pickles, man. Pickles are fucking unbelievable. Not for me. You telling me people got different tastes or something?

I'm a weirdo, bro. I'm the only person that says, hell no to tomatoes if you try and put it on the burger. But I'll eat tomatoes on top of my taco. I'll eat spaghetti sauce. I don't hate that. I don't hate that. That kind of makes sense. I think a tomato on a burger, the texture doesn't mix well.

It makes it wet sometimes, too. It's too messy. It makes the bun soggy, right? I'm with you, Tyrese. I'm with you, bro. You's too messy. It makes the buns soggy, right? I'm with you, Tyrese. So wait, we do have to pour a little out. R.I.P. End of an era. You sold your house.

Oh my God, don't talk about it. That's my question. Why did you sell this house? The next place must be fucking incredible. You haven't seen the next place? No. Is it up?

Can I see it? Is it on your Instagram? Come on, man. You got to go to Architectural Digest. You got to go to YouTube, man. We went up. We went up. It went up from there.

Bro, how did it go up? You're talking about you got a choice of three. Fuck, marry, kill. I'm not killing nothing, man. Come on, man. What are you talking about, man? What are you talking about, man? All three of these franchises, man, they got chocolate is spreading, man.

Chocolate is spreading. Darkness is spreading. Come on, man. That house, dude, honestly, truly, one of my favorite moments of entertainment news and viral moments and shit, the Benihana stuff is honestly some of my favorite because the videos,

I think it was Aziz Ansari's videos. It was honestly, genuinely the most fun I had seen. You know, like when celebrities are together, it's kind of like egos and shit. Yeah. Everybody fucking everybody name dropping, sitting around, talking about all the projects they got. But you guys have Benny Hanna. I just woke up in a Bugatti. Everyone having so much fun. I woke up in a Bugatti. It was amazing.

It was crazy. I'm going to tell you something that I did. And I hope the person who buys my house, I hope they don't see this interview. I feel bad. I feel bad. I sold them the house. I gave them the nightclub. I gave them the Starbucks.

You know what I'm saying? I left the signage up. I could have took the shit down. I gave them the screens on the outdoor theaters. You know, you know, I basically I had the grove in my backyard. Yeah, I had I had I had Venice Beach. It was a full on backyard experience. But what we did was we sold the house and I had to sell them the Benihana or the Gipsy Hana, whatever. I had to sell them that. I could not physically move that out the yard, but I took the grill.

Yeah. That's fair. I think that's fair. That's a good. I was like, hey, man, listen, man, listen, man. There's sentimental value. I fed Paul Walker on this grill. Yeah, dude.

That's got memories in there. I fed John Singleton 20 times on this grill. Yeah. You know, I got real. I fed my mom on this grill. My mama rested. You know, I had to take my sentimental value. So you get the Benihana's, but you don't get the grill.

Now, does that mean that Gibbsy Hana's coming to the new spot? You better believe it. Okay. You can't have that in your life. Reincarnated. There's no way you can lose that. It's called a multiverse, baby. It's a crossover.

We're going from, I don't even know what the new restaurant name is going to be. Because we ran with the Benihana gipsy hana i might call it morbiana now is there anything in the new spot like like do you have to keep one upping so like you got the starbucks got the gipsy hana but what's like i'm not going all out i already got a bumblebee and a and a and an Optimus Prime at the house already. You guys got to see Architectural Digest. We just shot it. No, no, no.

I want an invite. I don't want to see it in the magazine. I was going to say. I want to come out. I have something to tell you, Tyrese. Y'all are invited, bro. Y'all got to wait. Y'all got to wait because if I feed you and I don't feed you at the grill, you got to know that this is the same grill that we fed Paul Walker at.

Yeah. No, here's the thing. It takes it up a level. You don't understand what you're doing to me right now. Again, I told you I'm the biggest Fast and Furious fan alive. Literally. If you tell me I get to eat at the same table, at the same grill as Paul Walker, I'm going to be tweeting you every day, Tyrese.

No, no. Let's take it up a notch. The first person, the first group, the first time we ever used a restaurant, Paul Walker ate there. He's a legend. He's a legend. Because whatever we did or didn't do, you know, it's like, what do you call it? It was a crash. We was. What do you call it when somebody does it for the first time? Crash course. It was a crash course meal. And I was I was looking like, does he like the food?

And he kept talking, you know, when somebody is talking and they're not complaining. Right. Customer service is excellent. And then I went online and Paul Walker wrote us a review on Yelp. Shut up. Do you remember what it said? You got stories, dude. That's what I'm saying. I can't tell y'all what it said. He wrote us a rave review and he wrote us a rave review under an anonymous name.

Dude, that's unbelievable.'s what a guy you honestly he had that p dubber p dubber he he had that that kind of that history about him right i remember there was a story of him buying the engagement ring for the couple he was he was a very giving guy yeah he's a big heart, man. But yeah, I'm telling you, it was the first time Paul and Vin ever hung out with Will Smith. Really? Bro, you got to pull up the picture, man. It was the most. And then listen, even though I got the pictures in my phone. I've never posted them. But sitting next to Paul Walker and Vin and his daughter was there with him, Willow. Sitting next to them was actually Bernice and Dexter King, which is the son and daughter of Martin Luther King and Coretta Scott King.

Jesus Christ. How did you get these people to your house? I don't know. I don't know. That's a crazy crew, dude know that's a crazy crew dude that's a wild crew insane listen man listen let me tell y'all something i have to tell y'all that my rsvp list it doesn't exist bro the people that i was able to get to eat right next to each other they would never be able to do that at Nobu.

It's other levels to this thing. I swear to God, you have done it. You have lived the life as a celebrity, as a singer, as an actor, as a personality. You've done it right, dude. You have fun. You know everybody. You have the best house.

You have the best parties, the best everything. Hey, man, listen. You guys are invited. First of all, I just love y'all energy. It is the most exclusive list, and y'all are now on it. Listen. Don't play around. Don't do this.

Don't play around. Don't do some dumb like I was on an interview, and we will fucking show up. If I hear you telling this to other people. Yeah, listen. This hear you. Yeah. Yeah. Listen, this happens all the time. We interview someone when they're doing the press and they say something very nice to us. And then we hear them say the same exact shit to someone else.

If you invite us, I'm fucking coming. Hey, bro, listen, man, I'm a man of my word. That's why my relationships are still great to this day. First of all, I know we've been talking about a lot of random stuff, but I have to tell you, they paid me a lot of money, but they can't afford my opinion. Morbius is incredible. It stopped me from peeing in the middle of the movie. That's the nicest thing you can say about a movie. I just didn't.

Because everyone does that. When you get up, you go to the run. You're like, like all right i really gotta go if you're like no i'll just mind myself whatever my bladder my bladder was no longer of concern when the movie started i could not leave i could not take my eyes off the camera all right off the screen that was a bro that's a very nice thing to say about a movie that you forgot you had to pee now i'm gonna ask you if you would go one level higher, would you have peed your pants if you couldn't control it anymore?

Would you have peed your pants to stay in Morbius? If I wasn't sitting next to my girl, I probably would. I don't want my girl to call me the dark-skinned pee-pee man. I can't give her that.

No. That's what we're going to call this episode. We interviewed the dark-skinned pee-pee man. I can't pee-pee. You know what I mean? And then, you know, when your girl is in the theater, naturally they want to put their hand on your lap. Yeah.

Come on, baby. Watching a movie, don't be touching me. You know what I'm saying? She's been touching on pp i can't do that no pp you mentioned uh you mentioned your boy will how how's he doing have you talked to him after all this nonsense and i love will man and i just i feel like in this town man listen man people say and do things we we are far from perfect you know we we make mistakes we do things but what's what we're lacking in know, we make mistakes. We do things.

But what's what we're lacking in this town is accountability, man. When is the last time you heard somebody get accused of something or they actually do something or they make a mistake and they apologize like that? Just, you know, so I was like, if somebody is looking to have will to no longer be their hero, how can you not still have that man to be your hero when he makes a mistake and he apologized? I'll just leave it at that, man. You know, what was it? Listen, what I have to tell y'all is this.

I don't have no excuses for nobody. I'm not going to look for no justifications. I'm not going to smear it over. It is what it is. It happened. What I will tell y all is this. When you grow up and you got cameras on you from the beginning of your life all the way to where you are now, first of all, we're blessed. Second of all, whatever you say and do can and will be used against you. Right. And so when you make a mistake you got to

tell everybody yo man i apologize i didn't mean to say that i didn't mean to do that and come clean and now you just got to let people keep having fun they're gonna be like oh my god when is the next thing gonna show up on the timeline yeah something, yeah, yeah. Something else will pop up. And then everybody moves on. Yep. You know, he's got I Am Legend 2 coming up. Yeah. Michael B. Jordan. I've already offered to do catering on I Am Legend 2. I told him I got Gipsy Hana ready to go with the same grill I cook for Paul Walker on.

Just, you know, let me show up. Let me handle the catering. You're going to move this thing forward. Wait, let me ask you this, though, before we move on. You don't have to speak for Will or anything serious on the matter anymore. But when you saw it. I don't want to talk about it no more. No, but I just want to know, your first reaction when you saw it, was it like, oh. I don't want to talk about it no more.

I want the media training, man. You're not going to get me. I'm not going to tear that black man down. I'm not doing that, man. That's my brother. That's my hero. That's my mentor. The conversations that me and Will Smith have had over the years is the reason I am this successful and I have multiple franchises. Well, that's actually not going to get me. I'm not going to use my stage and platform to tear that black man down because I love him too much. He has changed my life forever.

That's what it is. Go ahead. Y'all want to tear him down? No, I'm not tearing down. I'm not doing that. I'm not saying y'all. I'm not saying y'all. Anybody.

I'm not doing that, man. That's my brother, man. I love him. How did you guys get laid? We were actually talking before this episode that I remember when I was in college and i was like going through fucking hard times depression all that stuff i was reading an article about you in i believe it was gq maybe it was men's health and you were talking about how will saved you how will kind of kind of gave you a line i believe it was something along the lines of like i may not be the funniest guy i may not be the smartest guy i may not be the best looking but

if i get on a treadmill next to you either you're getting off first or i'm dying and that's like that's a line i've remembered forever since i read that that's like a chinese proverb man that's that's like i think i was like 18 when i read that line and i've remembered it ever since that's so mafia yeah dude you're either getting off the treadmill before me or I'm going to die. What? It's a wild thing to say. But I remember in that same article. It tells you everything about his work ethic, man. It tells you everything about his level of, of ambition and

focus. And, and it's like, take the journey, right? Like it's not over. Even once you get past the finish line, are you going to just plop on the ground? Are you going to like get them last couple runs in? Are you going to go all the way through it's it's powerful it's powerful stuff so i i get why you'd be there but in that same article you had something along the lines where you were saying that you were going through a time period in your life where you couldn't look in the mirror i believe is what you said yeah yeah yeah when was that yeah you're the most fucking handsome guy in the world you're're like, come on, bro. If I looked in the mirror and saw you or any version of you,

I'd be the happiest man alive. Wow, man. Thank you, man. You're my proof of that. You know that. Look at those teeth. Look at those teeth. That's fucking, you know exactly what you got.

No, no, no. Wait, wait. Hold on, hold on. You know exactly. Listen, man. This is what I'm going to say to you. Thank God for Zoom, you know, because I'm able to crop, you know, all of this shit up here. All of this shit that's allowed to be in the box.

I'm projecting sexy. You know what I mean? At least you have the ability. I can't project. I've never projected sexy once in my life. Top, bottom, left, right. None of it. None of it, dude.

None of it, man. All right, man. We appreciate the time. You don't want to see anything from the camera cut now. First of all, I got on pajamas. Look, I got on, you know, my top half is right, but I got slippers on. It's real, man.

All right, bro. Thank you so much. I'm sure you got stories for days, but we'll let you go. Morbius is the movie. Everybody go see it. You know the deal. It will make you know the deal it will make you not pee it'll make you not be or if you're if your girl's not with you it'll make you pee your pants oh and that's right and just tell me popcorn all on the side being able to go like come on man every movie that's ever been released before all the streaming shit popped up, you go to the theaters, man. The surround sound.

There's nothing that could replace the movie going experience. Now, I get it. Some folks would rather stay at home, and they've gotten used to staying at home. I got it. COVID, pandemic, I got all that. Bro, when I seen the movie, I understood why they stood their grounds and never took going to streaming in theater as an option yeah you cannot watch morbius there are definitely some movies you gotta be any other way but being in the theater i'm so proud i can't believe a minute

i'll take five minutes i would have did extra work I'd have did anything cannot believe it Jared Leto is a genius Daniel Espinosa as a filmmaker is incredible and until now I could not wear any clothes that said MCU UCM nothing and now I'm finally able to tell the world a new Marvel legend arrives. Morbius. Oh, I was trying to say it with you. I fucked it up. God damn.

Wait, wait, wait. I got you. I got you. Let's do it again. Let's go. One, two, three. Morbius. No.

What do you mean no? You still didn't do it on time. It was right on ours. Do it again. Okay. Morbius. One, two. Okay. Morbius. One, two, three. Morbius.

Yeah. Yeah. Thank you, Tyrese. We'll see you at the Ghibli Hana soon. Let's go, baby. Send me a DM right now. Send me a DM right now. I'm doing it.

All right. Done. Later, bro. Thank you, bro. All right. Big thanks to Tyrese. You know, I don't know what he was talking about a lot. I really don't.

The magnetic stuff and the guys in the armored cars. I'm going to say I think that wasn't real. I think that was not real. Or I think he thought that was happening. I think he thinks that's real. I think those guys were,. Or I think he thought that was happening. I think he thinks that's real. I think those guys were like just security guards and they were like, Tyrese thought that we like captured him with a magnet. Like in the cartoons, we have that big U-shaped magnet and you like suck someone over. It's like, no, man, we just rolled up on you and said, can you come back?

You forgot to change out your costume. But you know what? He's a great time to talk to, so it doesn't really matter. He's awesome. He's like proof positive. Just be an enjoyable conversation. It doesn't matter what you're talking about. Which is why we've got Adam Pally on the show.

Funny dude who we can't figure out if he hates us or not. This is the third time on the show, once in person, now twice on Zoom. The second time he definitely hated us because i think our fans were like assholes to him so i think he was like fuck this but now he was like more playful and kind of busting balls but at the same time you could hear a hint of genuine like hate in there yeah not hate but just like these guys suck um and he jokes a couple times and i'm like you're not joking yeah he's like i can see how you like didn't think this was a good show yeah okay yeah yeah we tell a story about

a guest of ours that didn't like it. He's like, yeah, I get it. I get it. So you be the judge. Does Adam Pally, I think we've done this before, like does Adam Pally like us or dislike us? We'll put it out to a poll. You let us know. It's Adam Pally on KFC Radio. Let's talk to him. Skip the dispensary and head right to 3C.

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Shitty, like everybody. Shitty. Did you toss on the blazer for us, or you're looking good? No, no. I was actually going to take it off for you guys. I was going to say, I'm stunned you didn't. That sounds more like us. No, I just turned 40, so I...

Oh, congrats. So I sleep in a blazer now. It's just permanent. Always ready for business. Are you out in LA now? I'm in LA for like 36 hours. That's always the best. Wait, so you're going to LA for 36 hours to do an interview with us on Zoom?

I imagine you're doing other ones as well. I have a movie premiere tonight. And then I go back. I'm shooting a travel show uh for true tv and hbo and i um had a two like a day and a half off so i was able to come to la go to the movie premiere and then after the movie i head off back on the road oh so i had a day and half off, so I decided to work on it. It's that Jewish grind. It's that Jewish grind. It never stops, man. They could come at me at any moment.

I imagine the movie premiere is Sonic 2? Yes. Yeah. I remember we had Ben in here when Sonic 1 dropped. I had seen it and I was like, as I, the decider of things, I saw the screen of this, and I decided this is a franchise. This is going to be big.

I heard that you told Will Smith before he went to the Oscars, don't take any shit tonight. It's true. He sits atop of Hollywood and makes all these. The puppet master actually decides everything. Nick Luminati. Nick Luminati. How, I mean, Sonic, to me, like if I could think, if I could pick a dream gig to do like a major video game type movie

from like our generation's childhood and get involved in a franchise like that. I mean, that's a dream come true to me. That would be perfect. It's a dream, yeah. It's nice to have any... It's nice to work. Obviously, I like to work.

Yeah, clearly. To be able to do it in a franchise of a video game that I played as a kid, yeah, it's so fun. And then to do it in a franchise that like a video game that I played as a kid. Yeah. So it's so fun. And then to do it with Ben, who, you know, we grew up together. We were comedy partners from the time we were 20 at the UCB in New York. So like to get to do it now, 20 years later with him on this level is exciting. And then also for it to be my face,'s seen and not his is also a real yeah yeah you beat out ben and idris elba idris

elba doesn't get any face time but adam palligan's at all love that well you gotta you know the ladies want it well he wore the blazer to the fucking you know audition they were we gotta have this guy on the screen oh yeah yeah yeah no no no yeah i wear this blazer everywhere wait so wait how does that work they're just doing like voiceover work or are they involved in any of the actual like physical acting uh no no they they voice it and it's it's so technical and and computery and and there's so many things going on during shooting that they then come in but the the fun thing is that, especially Ben, like he told me when I went up to do the first one, he was like, please text me anything that you improvise

that is funny because then when I get into the booth, I can improvise back with you. And so I think in both movies, a lot of, you know, like especially in this one, we got to really like you know it felt like being in a room with ben which is cool so wait you text me what you improvised that's gotta be hard as hell yeah to like remember no it's not no i mean ben and i talk you know all day about the dumbest shit right you know so it's like It's not hard to be like, I think I really killed this joke

about a bagel. When you get in there, look for it. That makes more sense. What else do you guys talk about all day? Do you want to read the script? You text it to us and then we'll do a script reading of it. Or just send us your text messages between Ben.

Read us all your private conversations. The last text message I got from Ben was at 11.27 this morning. Okay. And it said the definition of hot sauce, which was the name of our sketch group.

And it's a link to an Instagram for that meme of never let them know your next move. And it's like it's like a guy being insane. And so, as you can see, it's like it's not hard to be like ben i think you should improvise around my bagel joke yeah right uh i mean when when he got into the improv game um well not got into i guess i should say when i discovered him doing improv uh it kind of opened up my eyes to the whole that whole world of of improv and i feel like even if you're not putting on an improv show, just that skill to be able to punch up a script or whatever it may be, go on the fly on a scene,

I feel like that's got to be... Either you can do that or you can't. You know what I mean? I feel like if you're good at that, I feel like that's an amazing thing that can add so much to a show or a movie. Like anytime as a fan,

I hear about like, did you know that whole scene was improvised or they don't even write the script or whatever. To me, that's like the coolest shit about a movie or a show. I think, um, yeah,

I think as someone who is, was doing, has been doing it since I was a kid. Um, I think that, that what I learned, which is interesting, is, like, the skill of improvising on stage and, like, making a show up from nothing is very different

than the skill of, like, improvising and working in film and television. And so when you get to film and television, I think, especially for me, I was, like, shot out of a cannon, and I started just, like, I would, like, throw the script in the garbage is like a, an act of defiance. But I think what I realized is that, um, is that improvising is not just about like reading words. It's about like putting yourself into something in the moment. So I had to learn how to like get myself down to just acting,

you know, in a lot of ways. And, um, and I think that then having the improv background has been a real plus because like when you're, when you're working on Sonic the Hedgehog and you're like talking to a tennis ball and you're not getting a response,

it's you, you can like kind of pull on a bunch of different tools. You, you said you got an improv as a kid. Do you mean you were doing acting classes or you were, as a child, you were like, I want to do improv? Well, I mean, it depends on what you deem a child. I mean, I think I first saw...

Well, let's get legal here, Adam. I don't know. There's a couple different... Well, to me, it's a sliding scale. Are we in Alabama? Are we in New York? It depends. No, I... The first show I saw,

so like Andy Daly perform when I was like 16 at a small theater and it like blew my mind. And then I, I went back, then I went to the university of Arizona and like, you know, or, or I, I enrolled there, but I didn't go there. Yeah, no, no. we just went over my whole list the other day I had five colleges like that so yeah I spent two years enrolled and not

going there which my parents were like not psyched John went to a commuter school that he got kicked out of he would leave the house drive to the school and then just still not go to the classes and then my parents sent me to Florida State. Guess where I

didn't go to the class. I didn't even get into Florida State. I applied to the University of Arizona. I applied to the business school at FSU. Smart. If you're going to do it, do it right. Dude,

you know what you got on the SATs, right? You don't even know. I don't think you could count to 100 if we paid you 100 bucks to do it. So they were like, how about you come and you can be in the creative writing program? Because that's fake. Because, yeah, that's fake. Just like everything else about you. And I went.

And everything else about college. Yes. I agree with that wholeheartedly. But, yeah. And everything else about college. Yes. I agree with that wholeheartedly. But yeah, so and then I came back to New York at like 19 and I started at the Upright Citizens Brigade. I knew it. I mean, I feel like everybody that age goes through UCB at some point, right? If you're lucky, right? This was 20 years ago.

So this was 20 years ago. So it was really small. And the shows were at a theater on 22nd Street and then moved to the theater on 26th Street underneath the Gristiti's. And you were seeing top-tier talent every day. I mean, like Paul Scheer, Jason Manzoukas. I mean, those guys were my teachers. They taught me. Sick.

Amy Poehler, Matt Walsh. You guys just hanging out above a Gristiti's. Underneath. Below a Gristiti's. Underneath, yeah. Excuse me. Gristiti's. There's a Gristiti's in my town

where I grew up in Westchester, in Pelham, that I'm convinced was just a drug front. Because it was a whole ass grocery store that never had anything stocked and was always like things were expired. No, this was like at the time the supply chain was rich. I swear, man, the supply chain is one of those terms. I'm like, I swear if I hear it one more time, I'm going to fucking kill you. I'll use it for the rest of my life and I'll never learn the definition.

That's a promise. I believe you. If you can't deliver on anything in your life now just supply chain yeah um but yeah that so that's the ucb it was just it was just a different like it it was just in the i got i was so lucky to like find it at 19 and and grow with it, you know? So you got this sonic job by nepotism through Ben, huh? No, I think no. I think other way around, probably. No, no.

I think the crazy thing about all the people that were there at the time, and I'm sure someone sometime will write a book. I'm sure there's been articles written about just like the immense wealth of talent, but like everywhere you turned, there was a person who is now so successful that they have formed the culture, you know,

like I used to coach improv teams, like to make scratch on the side. And while I was like, you know, like I used to coach improv teams like to make scratch on the side. And while I was like, you know, auditioning. And I remember these two girls were like the funniest. They were they were so young, but they were so funny and Jewish. And like I got along with them right away. And they were like, can you come coach my improv team? I was like, sure. And they paid me like 60 bucks to coach their improv team, like for six weeks every Monday or whatever.

And it was like, you would never, you would be like, yeah, that's what happens in New York. And those girls are now Alana and Abby, you know? And it's like, that's, that was not uncommon. That was, and, and, and I think that they would say like, yeah, you, you, it was, I wasn't even their first choice. I don't think, I'm sure I was their last choice. I'm sure they were going after, you know, the top tier. And at the time I was like, you know, but, but that's how it was. like when you think of when i think of like the people that that

coached me you know it's it's pretty insane like the the person that directed my first sketch was matt walsh which is like he's an emmy nominee yeah it's crazy oh also i think the only person ever cut an interview short with us oh he hated us oh i buy that you guys don't seem like his cup of tea hated us like poison it was like it was such a normal interview it really was it was like yeah just like it was a benign yeah nonsense it wasn't gonna win any awards but it wasn't like we weren't being like off the wall it was a very normal interview and just i believe that that podcast wasn't gonna win any awards in. In the middle of it, he just goes like this.

And his publicist goes, we gotta get up. Wait, this is over. It was so bad, man. I was so gassed up. I love everything he's done. It was in the middle of Veep's best run, best season. I'm sure we remember it differently because we have such bad

self-confidence. Yeah, well, that's true. Now imagine and uh and then i'm sure we remember it differently because we have such bad self-confidence yeah well that's true but i think i think well now imagine now imagine like uh showing him a sketch that you've written yeah right right yeah that's what we basically did we're like hey look at like our thing and he was like you guys suck yeah how are you you know how are you even getting found like when you said you were doing improv coaching were were you, was that like Craigslist back then? Or were you kind of like, like,

well, no, it was like, it was like the scene just, you know, the same way. It was a lot like punk rock or something. Like this person's playing with this band.

And then someone says, Hey, can you come jam with my band? And then, you know, and like at that time they were on, they were on a Herald team. It's like a house team. And then in order to be on a house team, you needed to and like at that time they were on they were on a Herald team. It's like a house team.

And in order to be on a house team, you needed to like be to rehearse, you know. So it was just like it really it was it was organic. Is there a lot of like improv beef? Um, I don't know. I can see that getting like petty and territorial and like. Yeah. Yeah. I'm sure there was. And I'm sure I was part of it.

But I also I feel like I was like my main thing was that I didn't like taking notes. Shock, shocking. I know that. Yeah. But other than that, no, I mean, like it really is. And even people that like maybe I didn't get along with back then, they've now made it so big that there's a certain like camaraderie to just having gone through those trenches yeah that it's so weird how we like we look back on the like with like those rose colored lenses and sometimes like that like we were talking about like earlier days at work here we're like it was that was when times

were great like no they were no they sucked yeah no we're just different they're just different you know you're young and you don't mind like 60 bucks for three hours of improv coaching like hell yeah you know like um but it's just it's because you you i was listening to flea on howard stern this morning and uh and I was actually lucky enough when Flea was a monologist at ASCAP like 10 years ago, and I was lucky enough to play that show. And I think he's one of the coolest guys.

And he was saying that like, sometimes people in the arts, they say like, well, I knew I had to do this because I couldn't do anything else. I was like, that's cool. And then he went further and he was like, but for me, it's in the moment. It's like, I need to do this because i couldn't do anything else i was like that's cool and then he went further and he was like but for me it's in the moment it's like i need to do i need my show to be so good right now because i can't do anything else and i think sometimes you like overthink the

the macro of it you know you're like oh i need to be a famous actor because i can't do anything else but back then there was like a real um like spark to just being like i need this scene to be the funniest scene and i need this sketch to be the funniest sketch and it didn't accumulate to anything it was just like to be the best in that moment in that competitive place and so i think i there's a there's like an earnestness to that but you you're so young that you can afford it. You can afford to not be treated like shit. Where's this travel show taking you? Have you done a lot of that filming yet?

It's been really fun. Yeah, it's with my buddy, John Gabrus, who I also met 20 years ago at UCB, who's a super funny comedian and podcaster. And we we've gone to it's all over America it's kind of like trying it's it's it's kind of like doing Anthony Bourdain if you didn't learn any lessons you just got fucked up the whole time so pretty good one I'm in yeah that's a pretty good idea. Green light for that show. It's called 101 Places to Get Fucked Up Before You Die. Oh, yeah.

Dude, that's fucking awesome. Yeah, it starts this summer behind Impractical Jokers. That's a nice little lead in. Nice little lead in. And we've gone to Denver, Richmond, Moab, Puerto Rico, Miami, and Atlanta. Wait, what was the second one? Denver, Richmond, Moabab yeah yeah utah utah it's in utah it's like the middle of nowhere it's like being on mars like so like kevin actually just recently was had kind of discovered a it's like a a drinking uh was it binge drinking by county it was excessive drinking by county in america a color

scale if you're i would love to see that chart so it was it was dark blue was like heavy drinking binge drinking by county in America? Excessive drinking by county in America. A color scale. I would love to see that chart. It was dark blue, heavy drinking, and all the way white is less drinking. And Utah, the whole state entirely white. Just not a drop of alcohol.

So were you doing booze and Moab, or were you doing shrooms and shit? Both. Both nice. booze and moab or are you doing like if it's a milano you're doing like shrooms and shit both both nice yeah yeah yeah it's not like tight tight tight it's not like it's um like you heard the title of the show you can like get alcohol in utah right it's like a lot of more yeah no it's yeah don't drink but it's not like it's banned or something it's not prohibition weird laws there's weird laws like you can't order multiple liquors and stuff. And like, you know, but we found a way around that.

And a lot of the, a lot of the interactions we were having or things we were doing in Moab because that's, that's the way the city is, is like you're out, you know, you're,

you stop at the liquor store and buy like a 30 pack of Miller High Life and you go fly fishing for four hours. And like, that's what you do. That's life. That's like, that's living. So when you say you can fly fishing for four hours and like that's what you do that's life that's like that's living so when you say you can't order multiple liquors does that mean like at a liquor store or like in a bar like if you know like if you go to they don't serve

Long Island iced teas but like if you go to a bar and you're like uh give me um a shot and a back of beer it's like they're're like one before the other. Oh, I thought you meant like if you get like a whiskey and you later decide you want. No, you can do it later. No, but it's not in one round. You just can't multiple order. That's what I was saying, Long Island Iced Tea. Could you get something like that where you're mixing all your booze together?

I think you can get it, but you can only order that. Got it. You know, then that becomes one thing at a time. So it's like one round at a time. Oh, that's the most annoying, you know then that becomes one round at a time so it's like one round at a time that's the most annoying you know it's so it's so it's like little things like that that make it so annoying that sometimes you go like just fuck it let's just go home let's go do shrooms yeah because because it's i don't know it's against like some religious rule but what's the what's the best place you've gone best and worst i guess moab because the pain in the

ass let's say honestly every mo Moab was rad. Like everything. Everything's cool when you're getting fucked up. Yeah, like the fun part about the show is that you're not like, there's no pressure to be like this place rules versus this place sucks or like this place is, you know what I mean? It's like you just go and you get to do the fun thing that they have and that's it and it's just and then you do you you do as many jokes as you possibly humanly can and are you like actually bombed you're getting like really mangled or are you just like all right let's have a couple and dabble with this or is it like let's go

i would say you you can decide for yourself okay got it you watch understood there are they could dude that's like i mean we've done that plenty of times with like nights out and something that we never had a travel show or anything like that but like there have been things where like like a patriot super bowl i go to the super bowl after party and then like i get fucking hammered and like i'm like wrestling with bronkowski's and then i wake up next morning like i don't want to look through that footage you're that's the job you kind of you get through that i i get such yeah i mean that's that's the thrill of the that's the thrill of the job and kind of what we wanted to do was we have you ever seen the trip uh the steve coogan it's a steve coogan

movie they made like four of them with rob bryden and basically it's it's the them as their real selves going around england and spain and eating and drinking wine and then writing about it for a magazine oh hell yeah and it's very sophisticated and funny but it's all bits it's all like you know that's where like the michael kane bit comes from and all that stuff so we were like well let's do that but like the way americans would and the way americans would is like to get a fucking shithouse and and so we try to keep that level of like it the jokes are tight and improvised and like especially with editing we're able to like really speed stuff up and make it feel almost scripted and so the tightrope like the magic trick is to make everything feel like

it was in real time and just one night you know and and i'm fascinated by this i could ask you a million questions on it is it something that like go for i saw i saw eyes go that way i was just checking i was just checking liverpool school liver Liverpool's a 3-1 in case you were watching. Oh, cool. Impressional. Oh, yeah, I was ignoring you and watching sports. I did a quick look. Oh, cool, because I thought it was like we're getting the hug. You're just doing your own interest. That's cool.

Is it like mixing business with pleasure? Like everything becomes work eventually. Are you ever like, I don't want to go eat and drink in this place? A hundred percent, and we film that part and that's the part where like it gets really fun and funny like you never see guy fieri you know have like firea yeah yeah right you definitely see us be like we cannot do this and like so you're not really at the mercy of like a a restaurant or a brand or a drink at the We're at the mercy of ourselves and jokes. And like the whole point of the show,

especially coming out of these last two years, like, you know, we watched, me and my buddy John watched a lot of travel shows and cooking shows. And like, they became really popular, like craziest houses or like craziest cars. And I think it's all because everyone was stuck in their fucking house.

And they're just like, I just want to see what's out there. And so when we got the opportunity, we were like, let's not bum people out. Like everyone knows that most places in the world have been affected by imperialism and it sucks. And we try to like deal with that as little as we can so that we are honest

about that. It happened. And then we just like have as much fun as we can right because like now that we got that out of the way let's well you can't go to puerto rico and not talk about the fact that they're not a state right you know like it affects everything they do now does that mean that we didn't like get fucking shithoused and play with a band no we did that we definitely did that. We definitely did that. So it's like, that's the fun.

Did you go to the cockfighting ring? Were you in San Juan? We couldn't go to the cockfighting ring, but we were able to play craps in an area where we could only film in one direction because if we turn the cameras that way, the police would be able to identify it. No way. Wow.

Really? Yeah. Shit, that's cool. Sketch. It was sketch. But it was also so thrilling. The cockfighting is not for me, man. Did you have any desire?

Dude, I went there with my family probably, let's call it four years ago. No, fucking longer than that, 10 years ago. And my dad was like, you want to check it out? Part of the culture. And me and my brother were like, I don't think so, dude. Because it's like a stadium. Yeah, and it's bloody it's like big big yeah yeah no i didn't i didn't we didn't do that we don't again it's not like jackass in a way like it's like we're not trying to to do things superhuman like the whole point of it is just

like the crew is on camera all the time we say we're travel show hosts we tell you when we can't eat anymore we get too drunk in a lot of the restaurants we don't order the right food we never sit in the right place we drop everything we you know what i mean like it's the whole point of it is just to have the most fun and have the and have it feel like everybody's having a really great time. Did you do something in New York? No, we didn't do, we left out our home cities. I was going to say, it's not like you're really. Also, we really wanted to do stuff that was like,

you know, there was this other thing that happened over the last years, which is people started traveling in America. And like, people were like, well, I don't know if I can get overseas. So I've always wanted to see Denver, you know, or I hear Richmond is popping off or Portland is exciting. I've never been out there. like well i don't know if i can get overseas so i've always wanted to see denver you know or i hear richmond is popping off or portland is exciting i've never been out there it's like so we really wanted to do like kind of like under the radar cities and then we added like a couple like miami because i i can't not go to miami scooted in there yeah it's in my blood you should

do new york and do like you know we're drinking 40s on the street and like in the tunnel. You know what I mean? Like, yeah, no, no. Do it like that. I hope so. I mean, the show's called 101 Places. Yeah. And we titled it that knowing that after they put it on the air, there's a pressure.

You got to do 101. Smart business. Should have named it 1001. You're working for the rest of your life. Well, we want to live. We want to live. Speaking of wanting to live in any scenario, could you see yourself ordering a footlong Subway sandwich with the tuna fish?

Extra mayo. With extra mayo. At this age? Yes. Let's say yesterday, hypothetically. No. Because why? Because you're a grown man who wants to survive and you have standards?

Yeah. Yes. First off, I'm'm like i'm trying not to eat fast food like that and i do consider subway to be kind of it's it's a gray area but yeah i think it leans that it's a gray area i see what you're doing you're going more the outback route yeah okay well mostly just the the blooming i like lone star i like lone star steakhouse would you maybe would you follow up the the the subway tuna sandwich with delivery door dashed outback the steak at the surf and turf with a delivered lobster tail stuck in a carton for an hour while someone would you eat that for dinner first of all no okay no i would not eat that for dinner i might eat the blooming onion uh would you then rip two cigarettes and then wake up the next day and eat wings is that where we're at right now yes that's right that's

your diet for the last week i've had a lot of two days you saw me yeah yeah i've had a lot i will tell you this i recently recently i did walk into a bar in Richmond, Virginia, and eat a burger called an A-Cab, which had four patties and four slices of cheese plus bacon and an egg. And I ate one and a half of them. Whoa. Big boy. No way.

What did they do when you said, let me get another? Well, I turned to my buddy. I was like, you want to split this? And he was like, no. And then I was like, all right, I'll just eat half. And then he ate the other half, too. Wow. Was the waitress or the waiter like, are you sure?

Yes, they were. Shout out Cobra Burger in Richmond. And yes, they were concerned. They were concerned they were concerned I was concerned and after I was like I was like can I get some like to go and they were like we don't have anymore you ate it all

that was a lie for your that's like in like Bad Boys 2 when like the girl's gonna die in the club and they like drag her out to the alley like we're not having Adam Pally die in here like normally yeah it was like Disney shit and like normally i would agree with you but when they broke it down for us and they're like we're a stand we only yeah okay okay and you and your buddy just ate 12 you guys just cleaned us out like i hope i hope you enjoyed it but you

know we're shut down for the day because you fat asses yeah that's spectacular copy that um so i mean so you travel in the world eating and drinking doing whatever you want all the while doing uh you know a franchise like sonic is things are going pretty good yeah pretty pretty pretty good pretty okay yeah life is good life is good i miss i'm looking forward to getting back to new york next week uh and and spending some time with my kids for a while yeah life is good how old are your kids now 10 9 and 4 yeah drake is 4 drake is such an awesome name that's the same name that is so cool gotta love the drink good kid yeah he loves yeah he goes into class now and he tell and he tells everybody because like they've been working on nicknames.

I'm Champagne Poppy. He's like, Daddy, what's my nickname? I told him. So then the next day, we got a text from his teacher that was like, I think it's adorable that he tells people his nickname is Drizzy. I was like, yeah. See, I feel like naming your kid is a – we were talking about this recently. Oh, when Kylie Jenner just rescinded her kid's name. She named him Wolf.

Yeah, I didn't like that. And then like two weeks later, she was just like, well, I kind of like it in the sense of like I think the name is cool. I would have left it. But if you're not feeling it and something's wrong, I think you should be able to be like, you know what? Mulligan, I'm not going to just stick with something forever because – It must have been as someone who's named three children one of them drake and the other one the and one of them gg not short for anything just ggs um wait just two g's just gg wow that's sick i like that

and tell me the third one is like Tom or something. Cole Archer. Okay. So they're all like cool and unique. Jazz player. Yeah. Well, we're cool. I mean, but they're not like, they're not like Wolf or out there. But I think like I have a friend named Wolfie and I feel like, you know, something else must have been going on.

Well, you know what her story said after seeing it everywhere we took which i don't like because it's like if you're that means you're forcing it to be unique you know yeah i think she's losing it a little probably and that's natural after you have a baby there's your hormones are like insane and you do crazy ass shit and so like i can see i can see her being like focused on that when maybe that wasn't the thing that was upsetting her. Right. But I think also, yeah, do whatever you want. Who cares?

Rename your baby. They're not going to they don't care. It is going to be difficult when like they have to explain this when like they Google their name and it says like formerly named. Yeah. But you got an F.A. Mommy, what happened? She's like, I freaked out. You're two days old and you got an F.K.A. You got to changeKA. Mommy, what happened? She's like, I freaked out. You're two days old and you got an FKA.

You got to change the birth certificate. Whatever. I just feel like naming your kid, though, is like a part of me feels like you give your kid a cool name like Drake. And it's like you've set him on a course destiny to like destined to be a success and be cool. And but it's also like a lot of pressure. I feel like in a way, too. It's like, well, now do I have some name to live up to or i wonder if it matters is it does it you know

i don't know i mean what my wife and i did is like because i think i think that is a big thing with parenting is like to over to overthink and analyze everything you do and assume that it that it is part of an equation that is somehow your responsibility um and i think oftentimes as parents we get too like caught up in that it's like you you guys are adults do you remember ever like how long were you like fuck my name like a day yeah yeah you know right right so i think it it is a lot more of like parental like things. So what my wife and I did for all of our kids was like, we picked the name that we liked and then we tried to make fun of them and roast the name as hard as we could.

And the least roastable name was the one we went with. Do you, do you remember at all any of like a name that you just absolutely massacred? I hope they weren't John and Kevin. Like, yeah, no kevin john and kevin john and kevin was nowhere near us no i was gonna say that i mean we were probably like the bottom bottom yeah if they ended up with drake gg and cole archer no no we we um let me think. What did we almost end on? Oh, well, we were thinking about naming our first one Cash. We need to use a C.

Cash, good. And we were like, Cash, a Jew, that's tough. Wait, why did you need to use a C? Well, we're Jews. So when people passed away, so my mother passed away like 10 days before my son was born. So we were like in a scramble to find a c we we've got a cashier is that a jewish thing that you have to name we have to the most recent uh it's not it doesn't have to be after most recent it's just like it's customary sometimes to name your kids with the letters of the of people that have passed away

to like keep your family going it's a it's a thing that I like to do in our family, but we pull it from everywhere. Gigi was named after my wife's favorite aunt, Gertrude, who used to smoke cigarettes and give her coffee. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. Like, hell yeah. Trudy.

Gertie it is. Gertie it is. We have a girl who has a cash here. She named her baby Cash. And I was hoping you were going to roast it and be like, anybody who names their kid Cash. But she's not Jewish. I was all in on the name Cash.

But I was like, it's just like naming a bagel or something. This is our kid Lox. Here you go. Yeah. This is my son Hollywood. They're telling us to wrap it up. So Sonic 2 is the movie. We've got the Travel Channel show, 101 Ways to Get Fucked Up.

Places to Get Fucked Up. Man, you're doing it. Enjoy yourself. Enjoy your life. You guys are. I look forward to talking to you soon. Have a good one, bro. Thank you.

Later, dude. សូវាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប� Thank you. Bye.