KFC Radio - Tommy Lee, Cody Ko & Noel Miller Interviews, From Death to DILFs

Episode Date: October 6, 2020

Subscribe, Rate, and Leave a Review! -The start of our OnlyFans career -We plan for our deaths -Top 5 Hottest Dads -Voicemails include special skills, hangnail stds, and fugitive status. (01:19:15) The Legend Tommy Lee joins the show! We discuss how he created his new album Andro, taking time off of music, the undisputed cure for hangovers, his relationship with MGK and watching himself be portrayed in The Dirt, and much more. (01:51:30) Cody Ko & Noel Miller return to the show! We talk about why they haven't started a Tik Tok house, the deep dark websites of early internet, the rise of Tiny Meat Gang, we play Answer the Internet, and much more. Let us know what you think on twitter: @KFCRadio @KFCBarstool @FeitsBarstool @MrTommyLand @CodyKo @TheNoelMiller Subscribe for Daily Clips to our Youtube Channel: youtube.com/c/kfcradioYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. You're thinking about like sexy dudes you want to kiss. Yeah. I'm thinking of like Dave Grohl would be a fucking awesome baby daddy. What else does hottest dads mean? Except dudes that want to kiss. All right.

It's another edition of KFC radio on the Barstool Sports Network. Right now, my esteemed colleague, John Feidelberg, sitting to my right. He's got a bag of Doritos, a fucking bucket of tobacco, and he's on his OnlyFans account. And he is scrolling through to find the new. Well, he's supposed to be, but I'm looking at him looking hot chicks. He's gotten distracted. But he's supposed to be looking for the newest member of OnlyFansNation, the newest performer. Oh, I can compose a new post.

Should I post something right now? Yeah. You can post. You can just, once you sign up. I didn't know that. Once you sign up, you're a consumer and a creator. So right now, if you wanted, you could fire off a dick pic. Like, no hoops, no hurdles.

No problem. I got one. Don't be a pussy. Why don't you post a Google dick pic right now? Just Google image of your dick. No, I'm not going to do that. And post it. See how people react.

Oh, we're just going to take a picture of us? Yeah. That would be funny. If you put up a tweet saying, like, I just posted my first picture to OnlyFans And just see what the fucking fiasco is about Why does my thumb look dirty? Because you have dirty thumbs Because you're a fucking grimy circle

That's a good picture of you Yeah? Then post it man I got a sexy picture up on OnlyFans The newest Alright I just posted it John officially Is an OnlyFans

Creator Yeah Top 5% In John officially is an OnlyFans creator. Top 5% in... We are on OnlyFans, folks. I am literally an OnlyFans creator right now. Yep, yep. What is your name? I let them randomize it. Can I say it?

Yeah, sure. T-M-I-P-O-R-T-1-4-3. No, wait, I didn't let them randomize it. Can I say it? Yeah. TMI Port 143. No, wait. I didn't let them randomize it. That's us. That's me. Okay. So back in the day.

It's better than U-Ball, though. TMI, too much information? I guess so. Probably. Portsmouth Abbey? I imagine. No, no, no. Port is Portnoy.

Oh, right. That was your. I imagine. No, no, no. Ports, Portnoy. Oh, right. That was your. I hope we changed the password. I hope he's changed it since then. I'm going to say it now anyway. Back in the day, our password to get into the Barstool Sports. Email.

Email. Which was a big deal. Yeah, big deal. That was back in the day. Port fights 143. Right. And Dave did not understand that it meant I love you cause like didn't like Gaz make that or something no cause Rene did it like with

Stella it was always like Stella 143 that kind of stuff so it was port fights 143 but who made that you? Dave did it so Dave made that so he? Dave did. No, Dave made it. So Dave made that. He just didn't know what 143 meant. So he thought it was like 246.

Yes. 123. Yeah. So Rene makes a password that's like, I love my dog. And Dave's like, okay, I got to make a password. I'm using it. Feidelberg's using it. Port fights.

And I need some numbers to keep it safe. 143, I love you. Port fights 143. And getting into a, let me tell you something. When we were blogging, email accounts were like having access to the Instagram account now. Having a 9 million follower Instagram account that you can post to was a big deal.

Back then, as a New York blogger, I would have killed for the Boston tips because there was just that many more fans who would email tips at Barstool Sports instead of NYC tips at barstool sports so we had and the common phrase was always that email the email account is the lifeblood of the blog because that's where we got funny pictures and tips on stories but this was before like twitter where you have instant access to everything and it would just be someone being like yo yo, check this out in my town. There's a mayor who fucked one of the students or some shit. So that's a big deal. And Port Fights 143.

So why did you do TMI? Too much information, I would guess. Too much information, Port. Did you do this when you were wasted? Yes, definitely. Okay, I was going to say, why don't you know the answer to these questions? So Fights is now on OnlyFans

under the name Tmi port 143 and you are officially a only fans creator i yeah i want to do you think we get a tip for that i'll send you a tip i'll send you a tip i don't even know what my how to log in or anything i'm definitely gonna post my dick on that it is really only a matter of time at some point at what point will you just become an only fan subscriber uh performer pretty soon right i mean i'm being dead ass at this point like taiga i'm not being dead ass but i'm being i'm being dead ass. I'm being pretty sincere. You're unhealthy ass. You're like COVID ass. Might die.

Might fully recover. I forgot to subscribe to Tyga. So Tyga is, you know, I'm not saying that Tyga is a fucking superstar and a wildly successful music act. But, you know, he was part of Young Money. He's got some hits.

People like his songs. For what he does, he does it well. He ran in the cart. How did he date Kylie? That's illegal. Wait, why? Because he dated her when she was a teenager. Really?

And he's like 30 now. So he was like 20 20 which is not like you know i always think it gets a little bit shady how do you spell tiger tyga okay so it's not tiger i think his name's like t raw or something like that on twitter it is at least tiger has his own chicken place now and he's got he's an entrepreneur baby he's not just a rapper. He'll show you his dick, and he'll show you some chicken fingers. Is he going to show dick? Well, yes. So his dick pic apparently, quote unquote, leaked this weekend.

And I think a lot of people were, like, woke to it and were like, this is only just to. Subscribe for $20 a month. All right, I'm going to pay $20 for this fucking thing right now. Dude, one hour ago, he just posted this. So it's like music videos. are on twitter yeah but like this is the kind of shit i think you can expect it's like hot chicks having orgies with fucking taiga how about this this is the world we now live in right this is taiga his his uh his twitter bio is order at eat Tiger Bites now at TigerBites.com. So he has a fucking chicken joint fucking company.

And then his link on his website is his OnlyFans account. I mean, that's the world we live in now. He's got 47 posts. That's a lot of posts. Today we'll be talking to Cody Coe. It's just him shirtless. Well, his be talking to Cody Coe and Noel Miller. Well, his dick was out there at least on Twitter. It's all just shirtless pics.

How about this picture though? Oh! Wait, it's his dick! Yeah! Oh! Good dick! That thing looks like a fucking I mean, first of all, that's the straightest dick I've ever seen. I know not everyone's curves, but that is That's how straight my dick is. You got a straight dick like that? My dick, I could look around the corner with a fucking spy camera.

Really? No, not that bad. But I definitely hang around. I'm straight R. Gennaro. I definitely – you know what is funny? Have you ever – Wait, Tiger just posted his dick on Only – How about that picture?

Because that's what he's doing, man. He's just a porn star now. Because I'm saying, this is the world we live in. We're going to talk to Cody Cohen, Noel Miller. They started out as YouTubers. Now they're rappers. Next thing you know, they might be on OnlyFans too. We live in a world where everybody diversifies

every fucking possible stream of income they can have. Wait, Tiger tweeted OnlyFans. What's your favorite sex position? Missionary, doggy style, on top, on your stomach. I do not ever have sex on my stomach. I think he means her on the stomach. I was like, there's only one way you can have sex on your stomach if you're this guy. And if that's what's going on in his OnlyFans, that's going to be some shit.

Yo, this is just pussy here. Yeah, there's that one girl eating. Wow, she's like spread out. The one they posted on Twitter is him him with like five or six other girls and one of them's just going down on the other chick. It's some hardcore shit. Yeah, Tyga's playing for keeps. He's not just like, he's not one of those only fans where it's like,

look at me like doing cartwheels in my bikini. It's like, oh, no, here's my fucking straight aero genero cock. Big one too, by the way. What is this one fucking blurred for? That probably was on another platform and then he had to and he just posted it over here so here's my thing taiga like i said that can't be taiga's dick i mean he's very much like openly like i'm on only fans why why can that not be his dick first of all there's tattoos all over the place i think we can find out very very quickly if it is or not why are you so surprised i just

think that i'm very shocked that super celebrities are posting okay they're straight so that's what's interesting would you call taiga a super celebrity he has a kid with a kardashian right i just know travis scott those two to me are the same he has a kid with black china he dated kylie when she was a child i don't know how he got away with that i mean that's just a it's just. It's so straight. Have you ever seen your dick from the opposite angle? No. I don't think so. What, are you some sort of pussy?

Like under? Yeah. No. Like if I look at my dick from my point of view, it looks pretty straight. If I see it from the other point of view, it's... Really? Yeah. No, I know. It's curved. I got a straight ass dick. From the top. It's... Really? Yeah. No, I know.

It's curved. I got a straight-ass dick. From the top. I got a real straight dick. I'll look at it from the bottom. What else do you need? I got a straight-ass dick. Like Nick's straight-ass dad.

I got a straight-ass dick, man. You know, I mean, obviously the preferred... If you had to really pick your dick, do you want it to, I think straight looks nice, but the curvature is, you know. Oh, I'd like it to curve up if I could. I mean, that's how you give the come hither. If I can do the come hither with my penis. Yeah, no, if it was up to me, curve up. How about the people who curve down?

That's weird. But also good for doggy style. Yeah. I've seen ones that are full blown like, like. From where? Fucking rainbow. Yeah where yeah yeah where have you seen these pornography websites yeah well imagine that's what it was but like not like my boyfriend or something I don't know if I've seen I feel I figure that like downward dogs are not allowed in porn. Our new guy, Zach, is just cracking up over there.

Can you get a camera on him? He's just cracking up. I would say Tyga. If he was Travis Scott, yes, that's mega celebrity, which a lot of people, Tory Lanez and Trey Songz, same person. Travis Scott, Tyga, same person. That's not racism. That's just stupidity on my part. I think he still,

though, was pretty big. If you've been on songs with Drake and Lil Wayne and Young Money and shit, to then resort to showing your cock is a pretty far fall from grace. What's a Tyga song? I don't know a Tyga song. I don't know either. I can't believe Tiger posted this.

This is blowing my mind. And by the way, what you just did there is funny. You have to really specify it's Tiger. Because if you run around telling people that Tiger joined OnlyFans and you can see Tiger's cock, it's a very big difference. I've never seen that. He's got that weird dick where it's wider in the middle than it is in the tip. That's strange.

When your shaft is wider than your tip, that's, I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing, but it's wider in the middle than it is in the tip. That's strange. When the middle of when your shaft is wider than your than your tip, that's I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing, but it's certainly a weird thing. Tyga's number one song. He goes, since y'all already leaked it, send tips for more content. That's a good dick. A lot of people are saying that that is like leaked. Like, well, I might

as well start my OnlyFans then. It's like, yeah, we're on to your shit. So let me play you. This has 891 million streams on Spotify. You know this song? With Offset. Taste it's called.

It rings a bell. So, this is every Tyga song ever made. It's just always, he did a lot of DJ Mustard beats. Mazzarana beat, huh? That all sound like exactly the same. Boy, none of these are really like

ones that I would expect you to know though. Let me play like, you know, his Young Money shit. You would know him from like, he was on, he's on like Bedrock and like all those young oh better i love that i'm pretty sure he's on bedrock like all those times that young money like got together i think can you can you google that for me um but yeah that's that's what i mean

like actually looking through it it's like wait a minute maybe he's not uh you know a mega star maybe he should just be showing his dick he's on the wow remix with post malone you know, a mega star. Maybe he should just be showing his dick. He's on the Wow remix with Post Malone. Wow was a big one. This one I know. This one you know. Chris Brown and Tyga. Ayo. This song's fire.

My God, I don't know. Come on, you know this. No? No, I don't think I do. When it drops, you know this. No? No, I don't think I do. When it drops, you'll know. Hey-oh. That makes it go. Yep, okay.

Yep. Yeah, yeah, definitely. So, like, that's a fucking dope song. It's Chris Brown. It's a big deal. And that guy is now showing his dick. It really just further proves to me everyone's going to be doing this soon. Everybody's going to be showing dicks and pussies.

I mean, we're literally doing it. We are? Yeah. We are? I mean, we didn't show dicks, but we're literally doing it. We're on OnlyFans. We just posted to OnlyFans. We're posting on OnlyFans.

So that's how it starts. It's a gateway drug, bro. I will show butthole. Oh. So, like, that's how it starts. It's a gateway drug, bro. I will show butthole. If tips get enough. He said that so. Folks, for you listening at home, he looks me right in the eyes. I will show butthole.

I actually won't because I think I have cancer. What? Yeah. First of all, why? And second of all, why does that mean you can't show your asshole? I don't know. Do you have cancer in your asshole? I'm pretty sure I have butth have cancer. What? Yeah. First of all, why? And second of all, why does that mean you can't show your asshole? I don't know. Do you have cancer in your asshole? I have butthole cancer. You got anal cancer?

Rectal cancer? Yeah. Why? I don't know. I just got a thing. Trust me, I don't want details on this, but I can't let that go unchecked. You have to at least provide some color. I just have a, I don't know, I got a feeling.

Does your ass hurt? Are you having problems out of your asshole? I was walking home the other day and I was thinking about... Oh my man, this podcast, dude. I'm gonna die in the next five years. Do you get that? I've been prepared for that, yes. Okay.

Let's all take, let's all take expose this. I was thinking about like just how we're gonna do the podcast, like me in like quarantine cancer dead situation. Okay, like you're getting to do the podcast, like me in quarantine, cancer, dead situation. Okay, like you're getting chemo and I'm like, okay. And we're going to be able to do it. This is dark. It'll be fine.

Yeah, and then you're dead. I know it's going to happen. When you die. I will die before 40. Why do you say that, man? I'm just really sure. From cancer? I'm pretty sure, yeah.

You're not like one of these people like, I'm going to get hit it's gonna be tragic like it's gonna be no no no it'll be get a disease i brought upon myself 40 i i bet i die before i'm 40 now to be perfectly blunt about it like i will be sad if i lose my friend but as far as like business goes if we haven't like really fucking finished this job by the time you're 40, if we're still just grinding away Tuesdays and Thursdays every fucking week, nine years from now, I'm going to be disappointed. So I'm hoping that by the time you're dead when you're 40, I can be like, well, all right, I got retired. John's dead and I retired.

Because I don't need to do this anymore. I do do this because I need something to do, but he's dead now. I'm just going to hang up. Done. I'm sure of it. Be ready. Be ready. Start saving your money.

See, this is what's so fucked up. John, because of this era that we live in of hot takes and giving takes and being right and wrong, you're going to try to kill yourself by the time you're 40. Just to be like, you'll be 39. You'll be like, how do I kill myself? August 13th, if I'm 39? Watch out. Kill myself.

Just to prove myself right. It's going to be like 2027 or whatever. You're going to be like, how do I catch cancer? Can I go get it somehow? Start smoking cigarettes out of your asshole? I mean... Now, would you be upset if I got a new co-host? No, not at all.

Who should be your replacement? They won't be as fun as me. Let's pretend. Like, who could it be? Marty is the first name that comes to mind. Okay. All right. Marty and KFC on KFC Radio.

Want me to change the name at least? No. No. Do you want me to do anything? No. Do you want me to give a eulogy? Nah. It's to change the name at least? No. No. Want me to do anything? Nah. You want me to give a eulogy? Nah. That's already on the trash, right?

I mean, you could say like, hey, wish Sean was here. Anyway, it's Marty now. Yeah, that's fine. That's good enough. Acknowledge that I'm not here anymore. Yeah, like, it's another edition of KFC Radio

on the Parcel Sports Network. John's dead. Marty's in. Done. I do believe now, I'm going to,'m going to respect your family's wishes, obviously, Polly and company. I don't know. You never know in Bali.

But I would imagine they're going to want to do a funeral and whatnot. But I would, like permission right now, to actually throw you out in the trash like Frank Reynolds. Deal. Now, are we going to get cremated or are we talking about your body? Cremated. Okay. I'm going to be cremated. So I will let your – oh, okay. So then I'm going to throw your body out in the trash like Frank Reynolds. Deal. Now, are we going to get cremated or are we talking about your body? Cremated. Okay. I'm going to be cremated.

So I will let your... Oh, okay. So then I'm going to throw your body out in the trash before the cremation. Oh, deal. Yeah, yeah. So I'm going to take you to the morgue. Right? That's where you cremate?

At a morgue, maybe? Or a funeral home? I'm going to collect your body from the cancer hospital. Just a quick pick in the trash. Right. And I'll... That would be a funny-ass picture. I will tell your family, like, let me take care of it.

You guys mourn. I will go get John. I'll pick out the urn. All that shit. But on the way to either the funeral home, the morgue, the crematorium, wherever you fucking do these things, I will have Nick. Did you just make up that word?

I think that's a word, crematorium. Yeah, that's a word. There's no chance. No. Crematorium is a word, right? Crematorium is not a word. It's no chance. No. Crematorium is a word, right? Crematorium is not a word. It's funny that it's like crematorium. Yeah, first thing that popped up was crematorium near me.

Yeah, listen. Put a pin in that. Write that one down. No, I already know. I know where I'm getting cremated. It's good. So I will take you there to wherever it is, and I'll have Nick recording. I'll have Zach setting up.

You can't pick me up, though. I was going to say, I might need a little help. I'm going to Zach. We'll have a little video of me just throwing you into a dumpster. And then we'll make a video, like a YouTube, like a Twitter promo clip that has Frank's voice, like, just throw me out in the trash.

You're going to probably, people aren't going to like it, but you have my full permission. The real ones will love it. Yes. Because they'll know. What if you're dying? How does that work? What if someone's dying?

I hope I'm skinny. I hope I die of cancer. Well, I was going to say, I need you to lose some weight so I can pick you up. Let's make sure it's a decently long fight with cancer so that you're down to like a buck 30. I need you to be like Vibs' size for me to throw you in the trash. Okay? So make sure it's a long, hard fight. What happens if somebody's last wishes are like pretty ridiculous?

Obviously, you can't do anything like criminal. But if like you, you know, you're like, okay, let's open up the will or whatever. And it's like my last wishes are like a lot. Can you just be like, we're not doing that. Oh. I would guess that I'm not doing anybody's last wishes. If I'm involved you just be like we're not doing that oh i would guess that i'm not doing anybody's last wishes if i'm involved in the last wish what what would be like the cut off for your like if i die and i have a last wish that's like somewhat sentimental whatever i have

something you want i want done what would you do and where would you cross the line like no we're not doing that do i have to leave the room? Yeah. No, no. I mean, that's a joke, obviously, but I would do whatever you said. Really? Yeah, for sure. Even if it was some ridiculous shit? Yep, 100%. I would.

If I had to get on a plane, I would do whatever you said. Out of what? Like karma fear? Or like you want to, like, I'm dead, bro. No, I think it would be a nice last experience for this. Out of the fucking dirt, or i'm i'm dead yeah no but okay but what if all right so if it's a cool experience what if it's not what if i do some corny shit i'm like sprinkle me over the city field would you be like listen

you're corny bro i'm not gonna do that to you what if i said feidelberg has to do it see i think i'd be like i mean i would obviously do it if i had to go to queens you wrote this when you were dying of rectal cancer you were You were out of your mind. You know? You don't actually want that. I know what you want. I know what you want better than what you want. No, I would do whatever.

Yeah, if I had to do it on Citi Field, it's Queens, bro. It's 45 minutes. Well, I can promise you that won't be it. You know, I don't want that. I would do whatever you said. Absolutely. I'm not even kidding. I would do.

All right. What if it was like, i want you to cream in my body meaning you i want you to take me out in the backyard and light my dead corpse on on fire yeah you probably enjoy that yeah it'd be exciting i think it would be cool to if i if it were me for you i would i would have you go somewhere was that me like i'd have you go to like because you don't force me to travel yeah that'd be cute that'd be cute i'd have you go somewhere. Was that me? Like I'd have you go to like, cause you don't want to travel. Oh, you'd force me to travel? Yeah.

That'd be cute. That'd be cute. I'd have you go to London or I'd have you go to Paris or Spain. Yeah, that'd be cute. But see, I wouldn't do it. Yeah, I know you wouldn't, but like I would, that's what my, my. No, I like that. What if I, I mean, you're doing it now, but I, I like in order, like same sort of thing

for you, I'd be like, my last wish is that you take me to the waiting room of a therapist's office. Oh, man, this is a fucking dark conversation. Fucking dark. That bundle of joy was brought to you by Proactive. Oh, yeah?

Yeah. Now, let's make sure, you know, when I'm dead my body looks nice and my skin's clear. Nobody wants a... Nobody wants... What happens when... Look, I got a mortician. You'll be all set.

Yeah, right? What happens if you die with acne? You just have, like, you know, pimples and shit? Right. Now, the mortician pops it. Do they? I mean, it made that up. I bet they do, though.

If you have, like, whiteheads... Oh, my God. Imagine popping pimples on a dead body. Why is it worse than a live body? Cold. It's cold. on a dead body. Why is it worse than a live body? Cold. It's cold. We got gloves on. Yeah.

Boy, I don't know why that fucked me up, though. That's dark. Proactive's going to love this. Proactive. Promise you it's the first time Proactive ever had dead body in their ads. Proactive, honestly, is so important because it doesn't kill you. Speaking of being dead, Proactive is not going important because it doesn't kill you. Speaking of being dead, proactive is not going to make, not going to have any like dire consequences like some of the other acne medicine.

And I know they're probably not going to really like that part of the ad read either, but that's super important that this is like a good way to clear your skin that's not going to mess with you because other medicines and treatments in the past really have fucked with your head, and Proactiv is not going to do that. It's the number one acne brand medicine in America, adults 18 to 34. So it's one thing if you've got acne when you're a kid. When you've got it when you're an adult, it can absolutely fucking ruin your life, man.

The confidence issues you have, the insecurity issues you have. I mean, terrible, right? So it's the best treatment to clear up your skin, and it combines three different systems. The first one is the proactive solution. It's the original system suitable for all skin types. The second one is proactive plus. That's for sensitive skin types. And then proactive MD, which is prescription strength for the stubborn breakouts where if you got real issues.

So pimples, they can come from a million different places, from stress, from cleanliness, whatever. So you never know which way they're going to happen, but you know the one way to fix them, and that is proactive. So no matter how type of whatever type of breakouts you get, you can make sure you clear them up with proactive. They've got you covered. So go right now to proactive. It's a great time to sign up because for my listeners, you're going to get an exclusive offer only available by going to proactive. No E on the end there.

P-R-O-A-C-T-I-V.com slash KFC radio. Not just KFC, it's radio. So KFC, it's proactive.com slash KFC radio. You're going to get the hydrating duo as a free gift. That includes four hydrogel masks and the green tea moisturizer. I love a good mask. Love a good mask. And anything green tea, you tell me green tea that just means

that means clean and and like and and healthy and exfoliating and all that shit so uh you can get free shipping on top of all that so once again it's proactive.com slash kfc radio to take advantage of the special offer and subscribe to clear skin what is a bundle of joy is our friend kate uh who announced today that she is uh gonna be a mama she's the first ever barstool mama the first ever i know now we've had a few guys here have babies um but not a a woman so we're watching a one of your favorite barstool personalities go through the whole pregnancy process for the first time ever and I think that's pretty cool I didn't really understand like it's kind of crazy

the path that I went on I mean Dave was already married but like I had the first barstool wedding that was a big deal and then the baby because Dave was already married so like the first one to actually happen was me and then actually happen was me.

And then first baby was me. And it ruined, it all ruined my life. So I think now we're in a place, I hope, where like it's just a regular company now. So you can come, you can get married, you can have babies, you can do normal human things. It was definitely, like I remember your wedding was definitely a thing.

A thing. And at the time I was kind of, I thought it was cool. I thought it was fun. I thought it was definitely like, I remember your wedding was definitely a thing. And at the time I was kind of, I thought it was cool. It was fun. It was gonna be memorable. I thought like it was, uh, it made it that much more like exciting and, and all that.

And then looking back, it's like, you know, especially for, you know, I signed up for it, but for her, it's like,

it would probably, it would have been nice to just have a normal fucking wedding. You know, I remember like the engagement photos, the leaks, remember that people wedding, you know? Remember, like, the engagement photos leaked. Remember that? People were posting. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They got me, like, logged into.

The website was private, but somebody, like, got the photos and posted them. And I was like, whatever. They're just photos. But it's like, when it's something that's supposed to be private, that's not. Boy, I wish I could do those over again, too, though. Those are bad. But I'm hoping now we're in a spot where, you know, it can just be, uh, normal shit,

but it is, I think it's, there's some extra like whatever to it that you're going to see. Like one of your favorite personalities is like, I great job hiding it. Great job of hiding it. Yes. I had no clue.

I told her this. She called me yesterday. Yeah. She had her bangs and, uh, and like was glowing because of that. I thought it was the first time i've really seen the glow in hindsight i think it maybe was pregnancy i don't know but i i had said to her

and i was like i'm not just saying this now because everyone starts to shower you with compliments but there was several times where i was gonna say like kate's looking great these days but i was like that's gonna be a whole fucking thing cheating jokes come out it's like i just can't say that someone looks good right now without it being a whole fiasco but um i mean i would never in a million years have guessed so the hiding is a very funny uh this all came about because i invited kate on friday night pints and she was like yeah i'd love to but like full disclosure i'm not gonna actually be drinking and i was like i think i know what that means like what see i i guess it's weird i think once you have a kid but you recognize that you would you would not have like i've been

like okay cool whatever you want to do but it's the way she posed it though like she was like fair warning i mean i guess not i guess you could just think of it as like it's a drinking show and i won't be drinking so is that okay but it is that that is the first that's how you know uh for normal people for like-minded people like us the very first sign that you're having a kid is always alcohol related i remember hanging out with uh my caitlin's friend uh his name's mike and so we became close it was like guys you know I mean? But he was her friend and he's like, he's just like a dopey dude like the rest of us. So we were out at the bar and he was like,

what do you two want? Cause I was, I went one year in like dad mode in the bar. You're always like, like I was always hyper aware of it and trying to hide it. So like I would always get to the bar to order the drinks. Like, no,

this rounds on me. So I could go and be like, just give her a club soda. But we were in a crowded bar and he like he was in front and there was just no normal way for me to be like no no i will order you know he was like just what do you want so i was like um i was like well i'll have a vodka soda and like she's just gonna have water and he was like okay cool like whatever and i was like okay you know i said it very like all right the cat's out of the bag and he was like all right cool i was like okay never mind we dodged that bullet she was like okay i guess we're good still you know uh and that's just again because you know but like if you know us

and the way we used to roll it was was weird for her to not get a drink. And I think that's the point. When you're in the world that we live in, you go to a bar, you go to a restaurant, you drink wine, you do shots, you always drink. So for her and for me to not be drinking was a red flag. And I thought it was so funny. We were in Hoboken, and we had a regular bartender at the Madison, if you're familiar with hoboken and she we would always go and like drink martinis and so one night we show up and uh we were like well like only one of us drinking tonight and she was like oh my god like she knew right away and she was saying she's like you'd be surprised how many people i was the first person to know about their baby not family members

not co-, nobody else. Just bartenders who are usually getting you absolutely fucking annihilated. That makes sense. Because you have to tell them first. Everyone else you can kind of skip and hide, but if you go to a bar and you're talking to your bartender, you got to. So it's like the most intimate of disclosures happen first to someone you don't even know their last name.

You're just like, oh, yeah, I know that person. That makes a lot of sense. Yeah. I get it. And you do kind of become, I think, barbers or hairstylists and bartenders are like pseudo-therapists too. You know what I mean? See, I don't treat it that way. Bartenders, you don't?

I get it. I know stereotypically that's the way it works. Yeah. But like bartenders or hairstylists, I don't? I get it. I know stereotypically that's the way it works. Yeah. But like bartenders or hairstylists, I don't like. Obviously, Fleischman. Yeah. From OKC. I talk to, and she's a friend of mine.

But like it's typically not the way I treat things. Well, I think that's also just you. You don't tell many people anything really, right? You keep it close to the vest. I think other people are inclined to be like, what are you drinking? It's like, I'll have a Bud Light and also my boss. It's like, oh, Jesus Christ. Whether or not they want to.

Because I know that's your reaction. No one gives a shit about my problems. Who the fuck cares? So true. It's like, whatever, dude. But that's how they make their tips, and that's how. I do like having some sort of connection. I like having a bartender.

And that doesn't mean you have to use them as your therapist. But I like having, sort of connection. I like having a bartender. I like having a, and that doesn't mean you have to use them as your therapist, but I like having, you know. Oh, yes, definitely. But it is also funny, like, it is funny that I remember thinking when I moved, I was like, we should go say goodbye to her. We've spent two or three nights a week with her, like, multiple hours

because we would always post up in the corner of the bar, and there was a lot of young people in Hoboken so they'd be, like, dancing and grinding and making out with each other, and we would just, like, chill in the corner of the bar and there was like a lot of young people in hoboken so they'd be like dancing and grinding and making out with each other and we would just like chill in the corner and watch and like people watch and make fun of so we had like we would talk to her a lot it wasn't just like ordering drinks and i remember thinking like all right we should like go say goodbye i don't think i ever ended up doing it just because like timing and shit and then it was just like never like i'll never see you again you know and like my doorman at old buildings i used to see

this guy timmy every day i'd stop we'd talk we'd hang out there'd be times i would literally just like hang out downstairs with him rather than go up to my apartment and then i move and you're out of my life forever for all i know timmy could be dead see i think he could be a murderer i'm the i'm i so i have three bartenders who i'm like like, friends with. Yeah. And I've moved because it's at my old apartment. And, like, I still go to that bar. Yeah. It's a 30-minute walk. I was going to say, you're on the west side now.

It's a far walk. I shouldn't even think of that. And I still go all the time because they're, like, they're my guys. You're friends, yeah. Right? So, like, it is. That's far, but it is doable. But I also don't tell them, like, my deep, dark problems.

Yeah. Like, we fuck around. We're friends. We have fun. But also, you kind of started that during, like, my deep, dark problems, right? Like, we fuck around. We're friends. We have fun. But also, you kind of started that during, like, I feel like it's really picked up during Corona, right? No. No?

No. No, it was before. Yeah. Like, I talked to them a lot when I was, because actually, I used to have, like, five bartenders because it was before Corona. And then they. I'm saying, like, we might not even make it through this. Right.

They left and stuff like that. Right. Oh, yeah. They were, like, they had to go back home home right like yeah like yeah yeah it is just funny though the amount there are certain people in your life that you are i remember like i like these people more than like my friends you know because it's a very surface level relationship where it's like i don't ever really bog you down with anything i might like tell you some problems but it's never like i'm really putting you out you know and vice versa you

just serve me booze and i give you tips like it's all good you know it's a very it's a very good relationship i mean i had a bartender on the upper east side at a place called uptown his name was felipe felipe espinoza i was at his birthday party and shit we were and we would give this guy so we you know we we fell so victim to like the – I'll give you like a $150 tip on like a $60 bill. And I was like I'm spending way more money this way. And I remember seeing – we were friends on Facebook way back in the day. And I'd see like his kid who had – they were like – it was like – what was his name? I think it was like Felipe Jr.

It was like his fifth birthday party and he's on like turntables and shit. And I was like, I bought those. I funded that right there. I'm buying a fucking five-year-old tables. Like, I should really cut back on the tips. Kevin, I one time had a drug dealer who brought his five-year-old child to my apartment. And he asked if he could buy my skis. The child.

Adult skis? Adult skis. The five-year-old said to you, I wantis? Adult skis. The five-year-old said to you, I want to buy your skis. I was like, they don't fit you, man. Like, I'm arguing with an infant while his dad is telling me drugs. This is the degenerate version

of the tweets we make fun of. You know, we're not doing politics here. So a five-year-old walks in. He was in sick-ass J's, though, the kid. Of course. I was like, fuck those. Because his fucking drug dealer is fucking lacing him with all the fun. He also asked about my Of course. I was like, fuck those. Because his fucking drug dealer is fucking, you know, like, lacing him

with all the files. He also asked about my toaster. He's like, what about this? I was like, wait, what about that? That's such a different thing than my fucking K2 skis. Walk out of there with my skis and a toaster oven. Toaster. Wow. I mean, that kid, he's... I was like, no, you can't

have either of them. Just give me the drugs, please. Yeah, it's a wacky world, man. The people you come across. It's like I like my friends, my family, and then like a few ancillary people that do services for me. It really comes down to like I like booze and I want you to make my hair look nice. So I like you. Yeah, right. That's really it.

That's all it is. So few people in the world provide value for you. Your friends and your family, they're just leeches. They just drain from you. They take, take, take. They never give back. Bartenders and fucking people who service you exclusively are giving to you. I'm ugly.

You make me look better. I'm upset. You make me drunk. You are the most valuable person in my life. The MV fucking P. Anyway, this is all a long-winded way to explain. We are getting into our top fives today because of Kate announcing that she's going to have a baby. The top five hottest dads in the world who – and I hope that we're – Kate's baby daddy.

I hope that we are – she's as lucky to have men like this in her life. So top five today is brought to you by Crossrope. I'm back on the game. Are you back in? Yo, I. So I don't know if you've noticed. Nope. Whatever you're about to say.

No. Yeah, you have. I look significantly better. Oh, okay. And totally notice. It's only been one week. Oh, definitely noticed. And I work out in the morning,

and I work out when I get home. Every day? Yep, every day. Wow. What time are you waking up to work out? I get up about 8. I probably work out about 9, and then I come into work after that.

And then when I come home... And how long is your cross-rope workout? Cross-rope is usually between 17 and 22 minutes. God, that's so short. So it's better. It's an episode of TV without commercials, man. It is easier to work out with like, easier,

but it's better to work out twice for 20 minutes than once for an hour. Because you get two metabolism spikes. Oh, a little interval shit. Yeah. And it's much better

and it's fucking... I like things like that. It's like, oh, it's less time and somehow better and I get a break. Okay, sounds good. I work out.

It's so easy. Like, it's not easy, obviously, but I work out twice a day, both cross rope. They have like challenges like daily challenges or monthly challenges and it's like a 30-day plan to you know what your jump ropes are yeah i do it twice so i i knock it out in 15 days i look good all right i'm gonna do that i'm gonna do that okay i'm gonna do this i'm gonna jump some rope and do some push-ups and

shit right that's part of it, like body weight training. So that way you get some cardio, you get some weight lifting. It's not like all just fucking cardio because I hate cardio. You like to switch it up, yeah. And it's like, all right, here's push-ups, here's mountain climbers. God, there's nothing worse than cardio. I'd rather my muscles burn on the last set of lifting something or whatever than that feeling of like I'm going to die. My lungs are on fire, I can't breathe, and I think I'm think i'm actually gonna die oh my heart's like thumping through my throat you feel like a pulse in your ear

no thank you man and that's what uh like cross rope avoids all that doing just a little bit of cardio then they do the body weight um challenges so you can do the get lean you can do the get strong it's all in the app so you buy the, you can buy the light ropes, the heavy ropes, their weighted ropes. And then you download the app that has all of the different workouts and the different goals. So you can work out your core, your back, your shoulders, your arms, your glutes, whatever, no fluff, just a fun, effective workout for anybody. And you can see, you can track your progress on the app. And right now there's a 60 day risk free money back guarantee and you can start working out at home right now at crossrope.com slash KFC

get 40 bucks off your get fit bundle plus free shipping when you go to crossrope.com slash KFC that's 40 bucks off plus free shipping get good looking like John top 5 dads sexiest dads that was cool uh you go first top five

sexiest dads fuck or you know it's gonna be sexiest it could be hottest it could be you know richest most attractive kind of however you want to uh i'm going sexiest okay um because i'm not gonna no i'm gonna do a bunch of i really i i have Kate in mind as I do this, which is very funny, by the way, as I was describing this final birth. I thought I was talking about my ex-wife the whole time. And he's like, I am not comfortable with this. I'm not going to pick dads based on her. I was like, why not? It's Kate.

She's just announced she's having a baby. Oh, I thought you meant your baby. Jesus Christ, John. No, I really that might be the first time i've ever told you i'm uncomfortable with this yeah yeah yeah and by the way like you absolutely should be if that's what i was talking about i would be like holy fucking christ i do not want to do this i'm uncomfortable i do not appreciate this idea like i don't think it's funny i don't understand it i've always like

no matter what even if i like slightly disagree with it i'm down like whatever fuck it that was the one where i was like i do not like this idea no i totally get it but you know kate kate put out her blog saying like not that it's anybody's business but you know he's he's a wonderful guy by the way how about dave's? Did you read that blog? No. So Kate calls Dave. She Googled, like, workplace pregnancy etiquette because it is one of those things where it's like, do I have to tell you? Do I want to tell you? Should I tell you?

You know, all that. Dave goes, okay, is this a good thing or a bad thing? A fair question. A fair question that you fair question. That you don't ask out loud. You think it. But if someone is telling you, you can pretty much rest assured it's a positive thing, John. No one's ever like, hey, just want to let you know, heading off to Planned Parenthood. They're telling you it's a positive thing. It's an announcement.

When you told me, I was like, is it good or bad? If you're like 15, maybe it's like, I need help. That's why I'm telling you. Otherwise, if someone's telling you, you can rest assured they want to tell you because it's a good thing. My girlfriend's 26. If she tells you, it's a bad thing. Well, you would know whether it's a good thing or not. If she came to me and told me, I would. No, I would turn know whether it's a good thing or not. If she came to me and told me, I would turn to John.

I guess it's a good thing or a bad thing. You're right. You're right. All right. So top five dads. Frankie Munez announced that he's a dad today. We can rule him out. He is not the father.

You are not the father. But plenty to pick from. You want to go first or what? All right, I'll go first. Ryan Reynolds, done. I win. Yeah, I mean, that is certainly a good start. He is kind of, I mean, he is like the gold standard of men right now.

God damn it. Right? He's so fucking hot and sexy. Like, straight up, not even a joke. Like, I'd make out with Ryan Reynolds. I don't know if I'd suck his dick. I probably wouldn't. I'd probably let him fuck me.

I would rather get fucked than suck his dick. Yeah. But, like, I would kiss him, for sure. I mean, honestly, so I just, like, pulled up a list just to jog my memory. Like, the first picture is Ryan Reynolds and his family. I would definitively, I want. I mean, honestly, so I just pulled up a list just to jog my memory. The first picture is Ryan Reynolds and his family. I would definitively, I want to be very clear about this. I would definitively make out with tongue with Ryan Reynolds. I wouldn't even hesitate, Kevin.

I'd be like, yes, I'm going to kiss you on the mouth and enjoy it. All right. But now that we're talking about it like i might be bisexual for right you might just be bisexual like i would like it's not i wouldn't i can't stress how much i would not hesitate to kiss ryan reynolds so this should become top five like dudes you want to kiss well that's what it's gonna be yeah you all right it's the top five hottest dudes it's gonna be top five dudes you want to kiss. Well, that's what it's going to be. It's the top five hottest dudes. It's going to be top five dudes I want to kiss. I don't want to kiss ugly dudes.

All right, ready? I'm going to go a different direction then. Dave Grohl. Wrong. He's not going to be like this sexy hot guy. You think Dave Grohl is the hottest dad in the world? No, I'm not. You're the one who keeps saying hottest dude.

I thought the category we're doing was like top five hottest dads. Hottest dads, but you're thinking about like sexy dudes you want to kiss. Yeah. I'm thinking of like Dave Grohl would be a fucking awesome baby dad. What else does hottest dads mean? Except dudes that want to kiss. That's the intro like I I fundamentally don't understand

the confusion like top 5 hottest dads top 5 dudes I want to kiss with a baby with a baby alright alright alright Dave Grohl was on my list again though I have a different angle here okay so my number one pick Eugene Levy

oh great answer do you want to kiss him great answer I'd kiss yeah but the same way you want to like

slobber on I want to suck Ryan Reynolds' tongue you put some stank on that tongue yeah Eugene Levy right now with with uh with um with uh daniel and and twyla what's her name uh sarah in real life i mean he is like the gold standard

for dads right now yeah he's hot as shit yeah yeah yeah and those eyebrows whoop big time big time i have you ever had someone suck your tongue? Yeah. Have you ever sucked a tongue? Of course I have. It was when I was younger, and she was just like, give me your tongue. And I was like, what does that even mean? Just stick it out. She was like, stick it out. And then she just sucked my tongue.

And I was like, this is an interesting move. I would do that to Ryan Reynolds. I was going to say, yes, and, oh my God. Number two, Chris Hemsworth. Ah, fuck, that was going to be my second pick.

I mean, Hemsworth is an absolute goddamn weapon. Yeah. He's like a joke. Like,

he's like, he's like a statue. He's like cut from, chiseled from God himself. 100%. You know? Like, the fact that he's Thor,

right, he's that Hemsworth, right? Yes. I mean, that's like his Thor. Oh, I don't care for the other Hemsworths. Chris and Ethan? He was kind of the laughingstock, but then he's in Westworld.

He's the guy in Westworld this season. Laughingstock. That makes it more of a laughingstock we're talking about. Which one marries Miley? Chris. Liam. Liam.

Okay, yeah, so he Liam. Liam. Okay. Yeah, so he's laughing stock. Okay, I'm determined to make this at least a little bit different from you and not just be here. I want to suck on tongues. Jason Sudeikis. Great answer. Ooh, I like yours better than mine. Don't want to suck his tongue, but do kind of want to be like... I want to suck his tongue just because of Olivia Wilde.

Yeah, it's like, I want to get secondary. Olivia Wilde tongue, yeah. Dude, Sudeikis is part of one of my favorite stories, jokes, whatever, ever. Olivia Wilde was on some late night show, and it was posed to her, how did Sudeikis lose so much weight? And her answer was, we fuck like Kenyans. I don't even know what that means. I don't think she knows what that means. Do Kenyans fuck? If you said I was running like Kenyans or something like that, fine.

But do Kenyans notoriously fuck? What does that mean? I don't know. By the way, to fuck enough to lose weight? Yo, you're doing some fucking. I gotta use a lot of Romans before I do that. I never understood that. When it's like, yeah, sex burns a lot of calories. It do. I never understood that when it's like, yeah, sex

burns a lot of calories. It's like 35 seconds long. It's like walking up the stairs. In the moment it does, but that's about it. The moment doesn't last very long. The moment is exceptionally great. It's like if I hit the treadmill and ran really fast for 25 seconds.

That's it, man. You're not losing weight from that, bro. Me? Yep. Number three, I'll go Idris. Fuck! That was going to be my pick. Really? Yeah. I'm just fucking underdogging you the whole time. Underdogging. Idris Alba. What a fucking... I'd suck his tongue. Have you

watched Luther yet? Yeah. Parts of it. I don't think I've seen the final season. I have Googled in my life Luther jacket probably ten times. Because he looks so fucking good in that jacket. He's got so much swagger. And he also, he's just, the words he uses. I'm a mind guy.

Good like, oh yes. Now you want to suck on his mind? You want to suck on his vocabulary? For a while I had just a list of words that were used in Luther. Like what? Give me an example. Rouse. So these are probably just, like, British words, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But they're cool words. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Rouse! Rouse! What does that even mean? Like, I don't know. I forgot.

But in the moment. He's yelling it, and he's like, rouse, rouse, rouse. That's a dope word. I forgot what it meant. But, yeah. Alright, I am gonna go, um... Well, this one I will just go straight up fucking fastball right down

the middle, Brad Pitt. Because he's also just like the fucking dad of all dads. He like, produced them. Because he's also just like the fucking dad of all dads. He produced them and then he bought them. Produced kids and then bought a bunch of them from Africa. Just got a slew of children. Yes, that's me. I am all that is dad.

I got him naturally, I got him artificially, and I am just a fucking father. I produced children from Africa. Okay, I got one from Africa. Um, okay. I got one here.

This is a good one. Ethan Hawk. And now Ethan is not exceptionally attractive. He's, he's obviously very handsome. He's in the handsome men's club on like the Kimmel skit. Remember that? Yes.

Yes. Um, he is in that club, but he had like, just, he had a very cool answer about raising his daughter, and it stuck with me forever. And I think I'm going to stick with it because of that.

I'm going to find it right now. But it was just about how he's going to let his daughter make her own mistakes and that kind of stuff. Yeah. Let me see if I can find it. Oh, so you're going like a real dad answer here. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I like that. So it's on his daughter's sexuality. Yeah. Let me see if I can find it. Oh, so you're going like a real dad answer here. Yeah. Yeah.

Okay. I like that. So it's on his daughter's sexuality. Yeah, I remember this. I remember this because it was kind of like it made some people uncomfortable, but it was like, you know, this is real life, man. His daughter's Maya Hawk, right? Yes.

She's in Stranger Things. Yes. Who's that? Which girl? She's the one that ends up being a lesbian. Got it. Yes. Now that I know that's the one that ends up being a lesbian. Got it. Yes. Now that I know that, you can kind of see it.

So what he said is he was asked about raising his daughter and her sexuality and all that stuff. And he said, first of all, you know, everybody does their own thing. But there's this thing that goes around with men that they're supposed to be scared of their daughter's sexuality. I remember my oldest Maya when she was turning 16, and it was, oh, I better keep those guys away. Keep a shotgun at the door or something. I was like, you know what? I'm going to give Maya permission to be her own shotgun.

And if you acted all scared of her sexuality, then how was she supposed to feel? Juliet fell in love with Romeo, and you know what? It's beautiful. Is she prepared to fall in love? No. Were you? No.

Nobody is. You're never going to do it all right. But you can give her confidence. Confidence to know that she's in charge. She doesn't need to be scared of him. She doesn't need a dad with a shotgun behind her. She can handle herself and she can go and have a good time. And she can make mistakes and she can recover from them.

This idea of innocence and this idea that we're not allowed to make mistakes. We're all allowed to make mistakes. We're allowed to grow up, and if we don't, then we're just going to live in a tiny, tiny glass world. I've given my daughter permission to make a big fool of herself, and if she wants to break some hearts and get her heart broken, then that's fine with me. I think that's a fucking cool answer.

Well, let me just say two things. Number one, we have taken a sharp left turn from these are just dudes I want to suck on their tongues. You're right and number two I agree with everything he said I would hope though that we're not using Juliet as the standard he didn't expand on that it's just like

Juliet fell in love with Romeo and they fucking killed themselves because they were young and stupid and they're made up people. It was a fictional person. All right. Well, then I'm going to go also. The last line of that, I think, is very cool. I think also saying you're your own shotgun is cool.

Yeah. And like, I'm going to give you permission to break your own heart and to break other hearts. And you will. And it'll be terrible. And like, that's just how it goes. All right. Well, I'm going to go with my fourth pick. I'll go sentimental as well.

I'm going to go John Legend. Oh, good answer great dad obviously going through what is truly truly an unimaginable tragedy and then to also on top of that have the the stoicism and like just the the um the just like rock solid to not stoop to like the internet's lows and fight about the fucking you know the people who are giving chrissy teigen a hard time and all that to just be like a rock for your family and stay above the fray and raise those two kids and then help your wife through uh you know what is god i mean really just i can't think of anything worse like that is the worst thing to go through and so uh and then on top of it just being you know

i would i mean i yeah i would probably still suck his tongue i definitely suck his tongue i would suck the fuck out fucking his tongue last pick for you last pick god damn this is a tough one i think i got a great last pick. Yeah? Yeah, you better not undercut me. No, I don't think I'm going to. Ah, boy. Oh, easy answer. Never mind. He's not on the list, which is a big miss by that list.

Tom Brady. Tom Brady, by the way, threw five touchdown passes this weekend. Yeah, not too shabby. Tom Brady. I mean, he has a little bit of a deadbeat, but whatever, you know. A deadbeat? I don't want to talk about that, but whatever. What are you talking about?

Like when he just ran away from his first kid. He didn't run away. Yeah, he did. No. Okay, this is. Okay, no, we're going to close this real quick. She says they broke up first. He supports.

I mean, Ben is like very much in his life it's hardly a deadbeat situation they broke up and she's like whoops I'm pregnant and he's like whoops I'm dating Giselle and Giselle talks about that how she was like it was very hard for me to decide to stay with this man because he was like Ben by the way I have a kid like I didn't know I was having a kid

I have a kid he's a fucking five touchdown passes Kevin five touchdown passes this Kevin. Five touchdown passes. This weekend. He went down. The defense sucked. Sucked in the first half. He said, don't worry.

I got this. I'll take care of this. I'll throw four more touchdown passes in the second half because I'm Tom fucking Brady. And if you want someone to suck on your tongue, all you got to do is be his kid. Hell yeah. And they'll suck on you. You want to learn how to French kiss? I got you.

People learn things from their dads all the time. You just want to learn how to kiss from Tom Brady. I would let Tom suck my tongue. You think that Tom Brady would suck on your tongue? No. The guy who doesn't put anything in his body that's not like perfectly regulated. He's like, I'd rather have a strawberry. That tongue is just a hunk of dead tissue that sits in your mouth that somehow lets you talk every now and then.

Other than that, I don't think you have any taste buds. I don't think you have any fucking enzymes, whatever you're supposed to have. It's like a black giraffe tongue. Terrible. It's terrible. You're right. My last one, fucking Obama. Fucking Obama, man.

I was going to have Obama in there. If you undercut me on Obama, I would have been very mad. Very mad. Obama is aging like a fine wine. Forget about your politics, because there are plenty of people, even from the left, who are like, you know what? He didn't really do a good job either. But now that you get away from all that, and it's just like, well, he's like a slick-talking,

cool cat. Obama's a man. He's got jokes and shit, laughs at himself, well-spoken, you know, the whole nine. So Obama, the first dad up in this pitch. Obama's a good one. Obama! All right. All right, we're going to get into our voicemails today. So Obama, the first dad up in this pitch. Obama's a good one. Obama. All right. All right, we're going to get into our voicemails today.

They're brought to you by Blue Nile. You're trying to get an engagement ring. You want to get some diamonds, classy diamonds, safe diamonds that are cut the right way, got the right clarity, got the right size, got the right color. You want it all at an affordable price and an easy, you know, internet exchange. You got to go to Blue Nile. They've got jewelry experts available for you to pick out the right ring and the right diamond for your loved ones. Ladies, go to Blue Nile and get your man a diamond ring.

Just kidding. The double standard is crazy. You won't ever have to worry about this but the fellas not only are you gonna have to be the one planning how and when and where to pop the question but you're also gonna have to spend pretty much every dime you've ever made leading up to this moment where you got to buy them a piece of jewelry and that's crazy so two things number one you want to save as much money as you possibly can because you don't want to have to spend every dime you've ever made. And number two, you want to make sure you get the real deal.

You want to make sure it's the perfect ring. You don't want to get something that she goes like, ah, okay, that's nice, but I wish I had this one. You don't want to be like that guy who had to propose five times from M.I. the Asshole. You want to be this guy who got it right on the first shot, got sent a safely sourced diamond with the right color and the right carrots and the right everything. And make sure you do it with some extra money in your pocket so that you're not totally broke. It doesn't have to be engagement rings, too. You can do jewelry for birthdays and anniversaries, whatever the occasion may be. Blue Nile dot com.

It's the original online jeweler. They've been around since 1999. That's pretty fucking early. That's got it. It truly is original online jeweler. They've been around since 1999. That's pretty fucking early. That truly is the OG online retailer. I don't even remember 1999. Did 1999 even happen? That's crazy. 30 years ago, right? Yeah, man. No.

21. I mean, 21? On its way to 30. I'm not a math guy. It's upwards of 30. I'm not a math guy. Definitely not a math guy. So go to BlueNile.com. Celebrate your love and life special moments with BlueNile.com. And KFC Radio listeners will get 50 bucks off your purchase over $750.

And this podcast is, this podcast includes loose diamonds, which is a big deal. You want to get those gems. You want to get those fine jewels. Again, we get, you know, sometimes advertisers give us a big deal. You want to get those gems. You want to get those fine jewels. Again, we get you know, sometimes advertisers give us a little taste. I would like a big bag of diamonds, please. At least one. I just want one diamond. No, I'd like a bag. Well, I would like

a bag. I'm going to shoot for the sky. Yeah, let's ask for a bag and maybe we'll end up with like two. Each. Two each. Let's get 20 each. 20 diamonds each. In a bag? That's about how much you fit in a bag, right? Depends on how big the bag is. I would like 20 diamonds, please.

I don't think that's too much to ask. How much do you think 20 diamonds cost? Excuse me, I would just like about $60,000 worth of diamonds, please. Go to bluenile.com, promo code KFC, and you'll get $50 off your first purchase of $750. Now, 20 diamonds in a bag is more expensive than $750, so you will get the discount when you use promo code KFC. Every order is insured, ships for free, and arrives in discreet packaging, so it won't give away what's inside. I need to do that meme. Porn, Blue Nile diamonds, handshaking, arrives in a discreet package, so nobody knows what it is.

Shop stress-free and get your forever peace. Go to bluenile.com today. Voicemails, let's go. KFC, Mike, PC. So got a little bit of a weird question for you. So shot of a cannon, what is your, both of your guys' brain man skill? So like, you you know for example like mine is like i really

fucking like math like i don't know if it is whenever i travel anywhere like i'm just really fucking into like math and geography and like that kind of shit um you know anything like along the lines of like numbers or lines or whatever, just something you're oddly savantish at that you would describe as your Rain Man skill. What do you think it is? Your Rain Man skill. Well, we know it ain't math for you. We know that's for certain. I also don't think it's maps.

We know that. Why not maps? I just don't think you're good with maps. I'm very good with maps. What does that mean? What do you mean? I don't know. That's what his thing was. I don't know you're good with maps i'm very good maps what does that mean what do you mean i don't know what his thing was i don't know he said maps for him well i'm maps i can do maps yeah what you can just plug things into fucking google maps that's it i'm fantastic at maps i guarantee you're not well we're gonna turn this into something right now okay like if i if i if i

give you a point a and point B. Pull up a blank map. No. Oh, oh. Did you listen? We're not talking about like geography. We're talking about like navigating maps. Oh, well, yeah. No, I don't know what north and south are.

I was going to say, I don't know why you're being so defined about this. I know you definitively suck at this. Yeah, no. You're right. Like how many states, like name states and capitals. I could name the whole world, I think. Oh, okay. I'm going to pull up. name the whole world, I think. Oh, okay. I'm going to pull up.

I'm not even. I'm going to pull up. Forget about if I pull up like Africa. There's no way. I'm going to give you Europe. Okay. I bet you. Okay, I bet I get 70% of Europe.

Okay. Also, someone else is going to need to grade this because I can't do this. Blank. Blank map of Europe. europe okay i'm feeling good here i mean i'll be super impressed because this is fucking that's hard oh boy okay right i mean again i'm just gonna be like yeah. Spain, Portugal. Yeah, that one I know. England, Ireland. What's the deal with Scotland?

Scotland is a real place? Scotland. Or it's just like a half a place? Okay, so I got five. Italy. Italy is great. 70% huh? I got Italy. As soon as I saw that blank map, I was like, this motherfucker is screwed.

Nope. Italy, Spain, Portugal, Ireland, Scotland. Where's Germany, John? Yeah, like I'm not even asking you to give me like, again, African countries that you don't know. I'm asking for Germany. I'm asking for France. I'm asking for. I am awesome at math. I don't know.

I feel like this is almost a lie. I pulled up a fake map of Europe. There's no way. That's a decoy map. There's no way all these countries are in the European Union. I thought there were about nine countries in the European Union. There's so many. You've got to start thinking about Eastern Europe with all the Slavas and all that shit.

No, no, no, no. Niente, niente, no, no, no. Okay, hang on. Oh, boy. Whoops. There's a different language. It filled it in. I pulled it about, but it was it.

Deutschland. What's Alamagne? What is that? Alamagne. That's got to be. Albania. Albania? That's huge. That's got to be. Albania. Albania? That's huge.

Albania can't be that big. I mean, I obviously don't know. Yeah, yeah. Wow. Yeah, you're fucked here, man. Oh, boy. So you stink at all sorts of maps. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I mean, no kidding. What are you good at? Push-ups. Okay. Push-ups are my... How many do you think you could do? Right now? Yeah.

There was a time in my life I could do 50 push-ups. No problem. No question. I feel like I remember you doing this at barstool. I said, like, a man used to... I was like, never mind. All right, we're going to do it. Oh, boy.

I'll give you 30, but I feel like... I don't think I can do 30. No? All right. That's why I said I'll give it to you, because I want to have faith in my boy, but I feel like... No? Alright. That's why I said I'll give it to you, because I want to have faith in my boy, but I feel like we're going to hit 20 and we're going to be really laboring. And then you might start to fake it

and not go all the way down, and you get to 30, and then after that, you're cooked. The flannel is coming off, ladies. Get your vibrators out. Get ready. John will be grunting as he does these push-ups. He's taking a sip of his body armor water. He's getting ready.

Deep breaths. Are you doing them on the table, Nick says. I mean, I don't want to break the table. He is stretching out, arms back and forth. He's doing that Michael Phelps thing like he's about to get in the water and swim. He has the red kerchief. 30? Yeah.

He has the red kerchief around his neck, which he is now removing. Ladies, again, try not to get too wet. Get a mop and a bucket. John Feidelberg is doing push-ups. The pen hat, he rearranges it. He gets down. Count them out. Straight back. 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, halfway, 16, 17, 18, not slowing down,

19, 20, 21, 22, a little slower, 23, 24, he's good, 25, he's popping off 6, 7, 8 9, 10 31, 32 33, 34 30 fucking 4 Downward dog, he's back for more 5, 36, 37 Give me 40, fat boy, 38 Come on, he's leaning to one side now, like one arm just kind of

gave out, 38 39 That's 40, that was 39 Give me 40, fat boy He's leaning to one side now. One arm just kind of gave out. 38. 39. That's 40. That was 39. Give me 40, fat boy. 40. Wow, he's doing 50. He's regrouping onto one arm now.

Shaking it out. One. Two. That ass is starting to stick up a little bit. I can see your small underwear from here. Three. Four. 2, that ass is starting to stick up a little bit. I can see your small underwear from here. 3, 4, shaking out the legs.

5, get some. I mean, I'll give you a million dollars if you do 5 more push-ups right now. There's just no shot. 45, ain't no slouch, man. Nah, he's down for the count. He's finally on his knees. His ass is up in the air.

It's 45, which is remarkable. Nothing. I mean, nothing to be ashamed of. 45 push-ups when you just were not even expecting to do. By the way, you are going to regret that. Why? No, I don't get sore.

Don't get sore. Don't get hungover. You're just a fucking piece of shit. 45. Kid still got it. I remember that when you were like, you're not a man if you can't do 50. I was like, I am not a man. I am no longer a man myself. I've transitioned.

All right, so push-ups is yours. I have no discernible skills. I have no talents. No? No. I can talk. You can talk. I can talk you can talk i can talk that's it under like even just that yeah while i was displaying my skill you were just

yeah you know what yeah there we go we go together well i can just fill air like if you ever need uh like um you know like you're in an awkward social situation or something like that i guess i could wingman but in a very specific sense like i'm not going to get you laid or whatever, but if you need to walk into a room or a happy hour or a business setting or something, and you just can't have dead air, I'm your guy. I can just fucking talk. You can.

That's it. As I started that, I was like, wow, he's making this interesting. It's me doing push-ups, and he's somehow making this interesting. Well, there we go. That was both of our Rain Man skills on display. Good shit. Next voicemail. Let John recover.

What's up, KSC? Fight, BC. Got a question for you guys. Kind of a two-parter, but story behind it is I got a girl coming over right now. I know it's kind of trying to hook up. And got a hangnail and I know she gets around. And so my first question is, do you think you can get an STD through like the opening of a hangnail? And second question is, what would be the weirdest possible way to get an std that is

not sexually related first of all you absolutely can get aids through a hangnail and i don't care what the fucking internet or the doctors say i did it just doesn't make sense why you wouldn't be able to we're talking about an open wound put inside of something that has aids i used to get so afraid of that as a kid. As if girls I'm going to finger in like 8th grade. I wasn't fingering girls in 8th grade. As if girls I was going to finger in sophomore year of high school are going to have AIDS, Kevin. One of my funniest blogs I ever wrote for Barstool Sports

was about my third blog I ever wrote. Do you remember it? No, about this? The AIDS blog? I mean, that rings a bell. I don't remember the specifics people were upset about it yeah that's what you thought you could catch aids right like you thought it was like contagious my roommate i mean age definitively is contagious but my roommate worked

for a gay man with aids oh god and he like go to his office go to the apartment every day and i was And I was like, are you wearing gloves when you use this computer? And I was like, do you put toilet paper on the toilet seat when you take a shit? I'm going to get AIDS from you. It was a joke. I think the blog was titled, I Wouldn't Shake Magic Johnson's Hands. Yeah, I remember that one. I remember that. Yep.

Good old days. fucking good old days you can just be ignorant as fuck but but seriously shake but that one that's different than like i i used to be like i mean everything i learned in health class it's like open it's an open wound and you're talking about putting it in there like why why can you not get aids through a fingernail i actually this is very weird that we got this question because yesterday on the train i was thinking about getting aids i don't know why but i was and i was thinking i got it through a blood transfusion yeah again i was conscious it sounds like a dream but i was conscious just thinking about this right and if I got it through a blood transfusion I would just say I got

it from gay sex because blood transfusion sounds like such a lie I'm like whatever I got it fucking a dude dude if I got AIDS from a blood transfusion I would be furious at whoever transfused my blood you gotta be kidding me I gotta tell everyone I'm gay now. Like, I would.

I would be like, I had a... Either I would become a heroin addict, or I would say I was gay. I would not say... It just sounds like a lie. Well, yeah, no, it was from a blood transfusion. No, it wasn't. No, it wasn't. You fucking liar. This answer here says, like...

Well, this is just a fucking message board, so who knows? But it says, like, you'd have to, like, soak, which sounds disgusting, by the way. It said you'd have to soak it through HIV-infected semen or blood or vaginal fluid. Imagine that, just like a bowl of it. But I really don't get it. You'd get a bowl of HIV-positive cum. Yeah, right. I mean, that is.

But I don't understand why it's not. So doctors, can you get at me and tell me why it's not a concern? Because it feels like it absolutely should be. The worst way to get an STD – well, I mean, is that your answer? Like blood transfusion? Yeah. I would say the old urban legend of toilet seat. Imagine if that actually happened to you and you were like,

I got gonorrhea from a toilet bowl. Well, you can't get STDs from someone who's been tested for STDs, as we all have hopefully. The doctor told me that he's like, yeah, you can't get STDs as long as you shower afterwards.

He said, and again I quote, this is always the line I give, he said, you can swim in gonorrhea. Yeah, that's just not right. As long as you shower afterwards, you're fine. That guy just doesn't deserve to have a medicine license. I mean, that is just not correct.

I just don't get how he was a doctor. All right, let's do one more voicemail because we got two interviews today. We've got Cody Coe and Noel Miller, and we got fucking Tommy Lee. Tommy Lee, by the way we got fucking Tommy Lee Tommy Lee by the way we interviewed Tommy Lee last week obviously when when Robbie did I spent my entire weekend just telling anybody who would listen about our Tommy Lee interview I mean I think it's I think it's our best interview ever all-timer he's certainly uh the best like he's probably the best got like the best get because like we've had bigger names, if you will, but not for our purposes, for what we do and who we are.

And just like guys and our generation, there was a lot of shit that we couldn't even get into the interview. But Tommy Lee represents so much more than even what we just talked about, where it to keep this to 30 minutes because these three left unprompted will go for three hours. I was like, fuck, yeah, we will. If I could get one reputation in the industry from publicists, they'd be like, these conversations go too long. These guys are too good at this shit so we gotta we gotta keep our like keep we gotta rein it in i was i was so flattered by that that and and uh he said that to us and he and he and he called bob fox a rad dude i told bob fox i would literally go get rad tattooed on my body in the mayhem font you know yeah and i have it say rad in the same way that his tattoo says it

and I'd be like, that's because Tommy Lee called me rat. That's fucking insane, man. Last voicemail of the day is brought to you by Healist. Modern life.

Ooh. That scent is what? Citrus. Citrus. Fuck yeah. Healist restores your body's natural balance and cultivates its innate capacity to heal,

I'll tell you what, my capacity to heal is at rock bottom, so I need all the help I can get, living is a constant state of stress, and anxiety, and exhaustion, that's just like the way it goes man, that's not even like,

oh I'm a soldier at war, that's just like yeah, I live, I exist, I'm over the age of like 22, and that's it's it stress anxiety exhaustion and uh it shouldn't just be the norm though you shouldn't just like succumb to it it's time to defend our wellness using things like helist it's 100 natural vegan and clean ingredients cbds uh

cbd oil that actually works that's the main thing people People always kind of say with CBD, does it work? Does it actually work? With Healist, it does. It's organic CBD blended with other clinically tested natural ingredients. So right now, I'm looking at this one. It's the Sleep Drops Double Strength. It's got the 40 milligrams of CBD, but it also

has essential oils and a terpene blend. So we're going to mix in a little bit of chamomile. know we're gonna mix in a little bit of chamomile we're gonna mix in a little bit of lemongrass a little bit of jasmine all these things that like you know the the that are viewed as kind of like hippy dippy and it's like this shit works man there's a reason why so they combined it with the cbd and now they've got the uh the natural stuff to go with it so you can get the dropper on. I'm going to hit that. I mean, I don't want to go to sleep just yet, but you know what?

For the love of the game, you know what I mean? Yeah, you did. Ooh, it's tasty too. Yeah? Yeah. What the? No THC, so you won't get high. Triple lab tested for potency and purity.

All natural. They publish all their lab tests if you're worried about all that, but you're not going to fail any drug tests. You're not going to be sluggish or paranoid. It's just all the good healing properties and the trial size of their best-selling peppermint-flavored calm and sleep drops you can get for free right now. They last between 5 and 10 days. It's peppermint-flavored calm and sleep drops, and you can get that today when you go to healist like realist but with an h healist naturals.com slash kfc radio sign up and get your free sample today that's healist

naturals.com slash kfc radio hey kfc fights first time long time hey i had a quick question for you guys i want to hear what you guys would say about this. If you guys were a fugitive and running from the law and had to change up your appearance, what would you guys do to change it up? Would you shave off all your hair, dye your hair, grow a beard? What would you do about changing your clothes? Whatever you got to do to lay low from the law. Turn it to you.

Imagine that, if you just like turn it to me and I turn it to you. I was like, are you KFC? But nope. No, I'm not. I understand the confusion, though. I'm on a podcast with him. Just fuck with people. What would you do if you had to switch your look?

I know you're into your look and you love your look, but what's your secondary look? If you didn't have your look and you had to hide, what would you want to be? Like a skater look? Would you want to be like a gothic look? Would you want to be like a gothic look? Would you want to be a preppy look? I'm a little bit of everything.

Yeah, you kind of are, which makes it tough to switch. I can't do the opposite because I bounce around everything. I think I'd shave my head. Shave your head. I've actually wanted to shave my head for a while now. By the way, that's the best way to hide. If you have hair, a decent amount of it, and then you cut it off, shave it off, no one's ever going to... I really want to shave my head. I'm just scared it won't

grow back. Absolutely. I'm terrified of it. It's like looking a gift horse in the mouth. But yeah, you don't want to tempt fate, man. You fly too close to the sun on wings made of a fucking barbershop. I am convinced it wouldn't

come back if I cut it. And I don't know why. I feel like you have a stronger hairline than I do. You're in the front? I think so, right? Dude, your hairline's straight across. Really? You have the strongest hairline ever besides Jerry Ferrara.

Jerry Ferrara is just like a centimeter above his eyebrows. I've got the power alleys for sure, but I've always had that. People tell me I'm going bald, I just have. It's crazy. You get the free end? I've got the power alleys for sure, but I've always had that. People tell me I'm going bald. I just have like a widow's peak, which sucks, but also at the same time,

it's like, I'll probably just look like this when I'm dead. Right. It's not the best when you're in your 20s. It'll be good when I'm like 60, but I've always had that widow's peak. You just are straight across. I don't know what you're talking about.

Yeah, but there's like a little bit here. The motherfucker's fishing for compliments. No. I just get more across. I don't know what you're talking about. Yeah. But there's like a little bit here. The motherfucker's fishing for compliments. No. I'd probably get, I'd just get more tattoos, I think. I don't think that really changes your look enough. I don't think it does either. Unless you become like that dude.

Like face tattoos? Yeah. I'd get like the Christy Mack like cross. If you shaved your face and shaved your head, you just had a, you'd look like a Q-tip, just like a white knob on top, you know? And you got some face tattoos. No one would know you. No.

Yeah. I would get the Christy Mac, by the way. What's up, baby? I love you. The half the head or the tattoo? No,

the, the, the, the cross she has on. And like, I think the eye drops overplayed it, but she has, well,

the eye drops are supposed to be for a few murder people. Yeah. But, but some of them don't get that. Yeah. That like, I think I would go, um,

maybe I'd throw it back to seventh grade me, and I'd start wearing jerseys and Timberlands and shit again. I feel like you get canceled for that these days, though. You can't do that anymore. You hate the Tims? I would probably... What could I do? I mean, I would love to shave my head again, too. I like my hair, but I love the idea of just no mess, no nothing.

Oh, my God. One day soon. Sometimes I wish you. Will I do it together? I'm not going to, but one day. Here's the thing. Sometimes I actually think about, like, I wish I started to go bald, because then I would treat myself like a cancer patient.

I've always said if I ever get cancer and I'm on chemo, I would shave my head to be like, no, I'm not going to, like, slowly go bald. I'm just going to do it. Oh, no, I would do it. I'd let it go. Yeah? You would rather have clumps of it coming out? Too many people shave it.

Well, you want the sympathy, too, don't you? Of course. Yeah. Like, oh, look at that guy. Yeah. That dude's ugly. He's got a shaved head. If I had tufts missing, they'd be like, oh, he's got a disease.

He's got cancer. Sure. Nothing better than good old sympathy. All right, let's get into our interviews. We're starting with the legendary Tommy Lee. It's brought to you by Thursday Boots. They bootstrapped this startup. They've been shaking up the industry with ridiculously high-quality boots

that they sell at direct-to-consumer, unbeatable prices. Head on over to ThursdayBoots.com and try it today with free shipping and free returns. If for any reason you don't love your size or fit, Thursday Boots has got you covered. Check out their survey afterwards. You have to check out to let them know that I sent you there. Tommy Lee on KFC Radio. What's up? What the hell's going on, bro?

What's up, man? How are you, brother? Fucking killer, man. How are you guys doing? We're good. How is my man, Robbie Fox? You guys have a good convo? Dude, that dude's rad.

He's awesome man he's super cool he's like 23 going on like 63 with his knowledge of of music and like he's an old soul you know i noticed that man he knows a lot of shit wow way more than i do i'm old i'm 35 turned 36 and he's like he's telling he's schooling me about music I'm like shit man but we just we just listened to some of the new shit off andro fucking take me down dude that I'm I'm like kind of uh my my

musical preferences skew towards like 13 year old girl shit you're a pussy right and then I fucking heard that dude I was like headbanging at my desk that's all it goes who's it's with was it kilvain is that how i would pronounce the guy in it yeah kilvain dude he fucking smashed it yeah oh my god he murdered it dude yeah you'll have to turn your camera around and show me the the broken pieces in the room that track definitely wants it makes you want

to break shit yeah but you know at the same time though uh the way you've structured this is pretty cool where it's like two sides to it right there's like the shit that goes hard and then i think you kind of phrase it as almost like male and female or like macho or however you you break it up it's a cool way to do it i think it really works yeah it's cool man that the it's funny because when i was done with the record you know i had all these tracks and i'm trying to sequence it like okay i want this track to go into this track then this one and i was like no matter what i did it didn't it wasn't really it didn't feel right so then i i don't know and i didn't plan on this is fucking weird but i all of a sudden i just took

the female and female energy tracks and i put them on this side and I've put the male energy tracks on this side and it ended up making, I speak like an old school terms like an album or something, but I, and I am releasing vinyl. So it's cool. Like one side has got all this male energy and testosterone. And then the female energy side is uh it is the same but with female energy so it turned out really cool and that's the that's why the record's called andro all right that makes sense yeah it's just it's got a dope dope vibe and i honestly i don't think

anybody's ever done a record like that too. That also got me excited because it's something I don't think anybody's done. Well, Nelly had Sweatsuit. Nelly did famously do that. Yeah, Nelly. Sorry to burst your bubble, Tommy. You're not the trailblazer you thought you were, bro. Nelly had you. Nelly.

I don't think I was a female male. That was more like in the club and, I don't know, a lounge energy. I don't think I've ever heard the album. I just remember famously Nelly had an album't think it was female male energy. That was more like in the club and, I don't know, a lounge energy. But I don't think I've ever heard the album. I just remember famously Nelly had an album called Sweatsuit. Did you keep an eye, Tommy, during quarantine on what the rap world was doing on Instagram with Versus? I did see a little bit of that here and there but um so so the the concept was like either producers or rappers would kind of go head to head on instagram and they would go track for track

record for record and it was you know it was a battle with like we would declare a winner as fans but it was really more just like these are fucking two dope artists and it's like a celebration of their music but if you had to do something like that in in your realm of music who would you want to go head to head with as far as it could be against a drummer against another band as a producer whatever you think who would you want to uh battle over uh over social media for the fans well you know first of all i hate fucking competition shows okay so so do i so i i'd probably i'd probably fucking say why why is that what what don't you like i just think like just today in general like everything's a fucking competition yeah it's like really dude um i don't know i'm just especially tough with music you know music is obviously a subjective thing and you could be in a male mood of female

vibe mood like it all varies and changes uh yeah i get that yeah and it and it takes it out of the you know or i'm sorry it it it's in that fucking you know uh what are those stupid shows like american idol yeah the voting i can imagine i could imagine uh you know people in the music industry hating that shit that's like let me just fabricate a superstar. Let's vote on it. And now you're an artist. It's like, fuck that. It's against the whole way. Yeah. Totally. This took you two years to make, right, Andrew? You've been working on it for two years? um you know uh it sounds like a long time but really um that's just that's just how long it took i mean you know only and only because yeah you could put a bunch of bunk fucking filler tracks on it but i really wanted to make a full record where every single track is killer like you know

so there's there's a bunch of stuff that didn't make the record but once i felt like i had i'm like okay this shit rips i'm always so fascinated with music like you've been doing this shit a long time now man right and like it's kind of one of the only industries or or arts if you will you know when you're an athlete you have a prime your body gets shuts down and eventually you can't do it anymore. Music, you can just fucking do it forever. But, like, you know, the industry changes. Even the way you were talking about albums, it's like,

I feel like people aren't even doing that anymore. It's all just singles. So, like, the business changes, but obviously you can still just keep churning out music. Are you thinking you're just going to do it forever? Well, I mean, as long as I'm, you know, you know as long as you know it still blows up my skirt you know yeah i mean yeah dude i i love i fucking love music i breathe it like i have you ever had a moment in your life or career where like it wasn't doing it for you? Did you ever like take a break or, you know, just never, it wasn't blowing up your skirt?

Yes. Yeah. In 2016, once the Motley final tour was done, I was like, that's it. I'm done. You know, we're done with Motley. I'm going to take a year off. I'm not going to listen to one song. I'm not going to put on any of my favorites

i'm gonna like just air it out like and that's what started andro was i just literally disconnected from everything and i came down here i made it almost a year and it came down here into the studio and i just started going at it i had all these ideas and they weren't inspired or influenced by anything they were just like this is on my mind right now and this is this is what i'm feeling so i think everyone everyone underrates that so much specifically with creative brain well if you just keep going and going and going and going you just get fucking burnt out and like even a week you got a year a week whatever like just that little time off you're like i'm not fucking doing it i'm just shutting it down for a bit resets you and you get like a completely new inspiration new

lease on life totally totally otherwise you're just kind of churning out what you think is you know cool but it's just more of the same and that's that's no fun for anybody shit did you know was this done before quarantine andro yeah dude yeah it was done before quarantine, Andrew? Yeah, dude, yeah. It was done before then. And it's funny because since quarantine, dude, I have almost another record. Wow. Ready to rock, yeah. I've just been down here just like, well, can't go anywhere, so fuck it. Dude, so I was going to ask.

My girlfriend is a big fan of britney's podcast and so i was good i was gonna ask like what is what does quarantine look like with britney and tommy lee but apparently it's you just working it dude you know what not a day a minute a second goes by around here where my fucking my cheeks hurt or sorry or don't hurt because right i mean she's fucking she's fucking hilarious and she's always doing shit around here where i'm like oh my god you know like so it's uh uh boring it is not um she's just she's wild um well uh and she's just you know everybody's always laughing around here. There's always some dumb shit going on.

We read something saying that you were kind of already doing quarantine before quarantine even started. Right. You were just chilling and staying at home in the pool, just rocking out pretty much. I mean, I don't typically leave my house that much anyway. So when quarantine came, came, I was just kind of like, well, I'm not that much anyway so when quarantine came came i was just kind of like well i'm not not that much has changed when when i was actually listening to you on the podcast turning point and um you were saying that like you're like i'm just gonna lay by the pool and drink when tommy lee lays by the pool and drinks like it sounds like a casual activity how many like how many drinks we throwing down and what are we throwing now that's the the real question. What's the drink of choice? Vodka. Just vodka?

Straight? Just fucking pretty much straight, like a glass like this size, filled pretty much with vodka, and then an eyedropper with maybe a little cranberry or lemonade in it with like maybe- Just for the color. Like a garnish. Yeah, at one point, I think I even got like a little spritzer like a little like nah babe it's a mixed drink it's a mixed drink we're

taking it easy tonight yeah yeah yeah yeah and and my wife's like god you know fuck you drink more than anybody i've ever seen like maybe you you should drink some water. And I'm like, there's so much water in these ice cubes. I'm good. I would have to imagine, man, when it comes to like putting drinks back or just having a good time, you got to be one of the greatest to ever do it. No, I mean, you got to be one of the most skilled, talented drinkers, partiers the world has ever seen.

You know, I definitely do enjoy it it that's for sure um and and sometimes and sometimes too much sometimes too much but hey you know whatever we uh i've seen the dirt right love the dirt mgk who's real hot in the news right now played you and he uh he just released an album which i love tickets to my downfall let's say you MGK, because he's talking a lot about partying on that record. Let's say you and MGK are partying head to head. Can you take him down? Oh, dude. Yeah, we went at it actually during the filming of The Dirt, the movie.

We were in New Orleans where they were filming. And Nikki and I went down there like the first week of filming so everybody's just kind of like you know it's that first week everybody's still kind of getting to know each other and uh although i've known machine gun kelly for quite a while before this but anyway we get there and of course you know they're playing us so yeah you know you got you got you know us there and them there and like dude we we went out to some some clubs and some dinners that uh those those poor places were like oh my god you're not gonna fucking believe who came through here last night you see you see that crew walk through the door it's like oh oh pull the fucking fire

alarm i'm off tonight totally yeah we're close what what is it like uh you know do you sign off you have any say in in a guy like mgk playing you or or like how does that's got to be a weird feeling where it's like do you co-sign that? Are you going to do me right? Do you tell him how to do it? Or do you let him do his thing as an actor? That whole experience has got to be a trip. Yeah, it is. It is a trip, you know? And yeah, we were, you know, it's interesting because, um, you know, obviously, uh, you know,

we wanted, you know, some sort of, you know, control, uh, in who, we wanted, you know, some sort of, you know, control in who's playing us, obviously. But this came completely unexpected. I get a phone call from from Coulson and he's like, dude, you're not going to believe this. I'm like, what? He goes, dude, I'm playing you in the movie. I was like, what? And I not me immediately in my head. I'm thinking'm thinking dude this is fun there couldn't be a better guy like we have the same build with the same height right same we we almost like we even walk the same if you were to walk behind us and watch us walk you'd be like the fuck these guys

brothers like yeah it's it's we have there's so many similarities in our personality and all this. And then once he told me he got the dude, I'm playing you in the movie, he goes, dude, I'm going to make you proud. I'm going to fucking kill this. I got the script. I'm coming over. I want to know. I want to know if the shit went down like it went down. And if it didn't, I want to know how, know he goes i want i want just i want it to be perfect so he comes over and we go through it several times um he's come over a couple different times and we went through it line by line and his dedication was just insane and then the dude goes out and he takes like four months of drum lessons to learn how to twirl and do all the shit. Yeah. All my mannerisms and shit that I do when I play.

And fuck, we went there to go watch the first week of rehearsals with the band playing. And Nikki and I were sitting there and we're watching. It was the most surreal thing to see. You're sitting there watching yourself. You're like, like dude this is fucking crazy yeah it was super surreal and the guys they all they all murdered it man they really did a fucking fantastic job now there's one you're saying he wants to know if it really went down like this it really went down like that there's one scene in particular from that movie that

sticks out to me and it's it's opening scene it's no not the opening scene not the opening although the opening sticks out as well i guess i got a couple but the one who who who starts a movie with the squirter that's how you know we're setting the tone in my experience tommy those are towards the end bro oh only here baby only here but there's the scene where i think it's it's earlier on and i think it's when you guys first started with um with ozzy and you're opening for ozzy you're by the pool right you're drinking your big cup of vodka a lot of ice in there so you got all your water going and then ozzy comes out and just like pisses and then blows a line of fire ants i think did he really do that shit dude he absolutely did it what is wrong with you guys you're all fucking lunatics man dude well i mean if if you i don't know if they really

covered pre that uh in the movie because he got some this giant bag of fucking cocaine and he was like dudes i i got i got the shit i'm riding with you guys so he wanted to ride with us on our bus because we had a long we had a long overnight drive to texas so you're opening for him and he's like i want to roll with you guys yeah i mean that that's the best cosign you can get man man. Right? Yeah. He's like, fuck. I don't want to ride with my guys. I'm riding with you guys. And we're going to fucking party. So we're literally up all night just doing fucking mad rails and drinking, being fucking crazy.

We pull in to that hotel, the scene in the movie. It's like 10 a.m., dude. It's like a fucking four seasons with, like, the family it's like 10 a.m dude it's like a fucking of four seasons with like the family and kids by the pool well i'm talking like a nice four or five star hotel but families and we are fucking wasted and what do we do we go we stop by the bar and we just we just go out to the pool and here comes fucking crazy town and we just kind of set up shop around the pool and ozzy's like i i gotta fucking pee and we were we we were in this we were in this thing with ozzy it was just like who could kind of out rock star out gross right right so that that that's where we were and all of a sudden he just whips out his dick and is peeing at the four seasons pool i i look over i see moms grabbing

their kids covering their eyes and going come on honey let's go he's clearing the pool and so um my my point is ozzy pees as he's peeing ozzy i could tell because ozzy was just about done and ozzy was going to go down to lick up his own pee oh god and yeah and so but so in true crew fashion before he could lick it up. Nikki beat him too. So, so, so now, so now Nikki's licking up Ozzy's piss. And then, so obviously Ozzy's looking for Ozzy's looking to one up.

Right. And he looks over and some kid left a little, you know, an ice cream stick, you know, the little, the little ice freezes. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um, a popsicle stick on the ground and there's a fucking mad trail of ants going to this popsicle stick he looks over and he sees it he goes uh and he just gets on the ground and and he just starts ripping this line of ants and we're like okay you win yeah the wildest thing is I hear that and I'm like, oh, that's so gross. Whereas me and my friends eat moths intentionally. Everybody kind of does it. Everybody has their own. When we lose at beer pong, it's like, all right, the punishment is you got to go suck a moth off the wall.

And it's like these big, nasty moths. It's awful, Tommy. You'd hate it. But that sounds cool, though. Yeah. No, it is cool. It's such a bonding experience. You're like, oh, that's gross.

Fuck yeah. What does a moth taste like? It doesn't taste good. You got to get it fast because it still flutters in your mouth. These are like big moths, too. We're not talking about the ones that are just all wings. These are like chunky, gooey, fat moths. They taste like dusty.

They're not good. I like that I made Tommy sick. Yeah, that takes a lot to make Tommy fucking Lee get grossed out. That's saying something. Yo, what do you think would have happened back on those days if, say, those moms and kids had phones and shit? You think the crew? You guys would have been fucked with social media.

Dude, could you imagine? Like, I think about that literally all the time. I'm like, do you realize that we got away with fucking murder like maybe literally it was like i mean fuck we didn't have to have fucking chicks turn in their phone at the fucking tour bus door like this was this was before people were even fucking with condoms like you know what i'm saying like it just it was just like everyone just ran it till the wheels fell off there was no instagram there was no everyone just fuck it would be it would be, that time will never happen again.

No, never. One of the coolest things about the movie is I see it from a lot of people who weren't around at that time. And a lot of their messages to me are like, God, man, that just must have been the most insane fucking radish time to fucking be alive. Like, I'm so bummed I missed it. And I'm like, yeah, you know what? You should be. Yeah.

It was fucking crazy. And I'm alive to tell you, it definitely won't happen again. What is it about the, like, I guess rock star life? I guess maybe you alluded to it already, saying you're trying to one-up each other. But know rappers party and country guys are slinging beers everyone has their fun but like why are you guys so fucking crazy is it are you rock stars because you're crazy or are you crazy because you're rock stars which how does is it chicken or the egg um fuck I don't know, dude. I, you know, I, I call us shit magnets. Okay. Keep going.

We just, well, yeah. Like it's just, it, for some reason, um, you know, we're just at the wrong place at the right time. Or I just, I don't know how, like, I look back and try to figure it out. Like what the fuck just happened? Like we, you know, we're these four guys from fucking, from fucking LA that somehow put a band together and the fucking band blew up and we went around and toured the world and, and just created fucking mayhem everywhere. And,

and the four of us are still alive like i don't even understand how that works like you know like i don't know dude i don't know i you know i think we're all uh extremely uh you know i i believe lucky there's there's talent in there talent and there's just yeah and there's there's plain fucking just just sheer stupidity that just has had us, you know, now what we do, I guess. I don't know. When quarantine ends and you guys get back on the road, 2021, right? We're doing the Motley stadium tour.

Yes, sir. Hopefully God willing. What does that look like? And how different are we? Are we still fucking, we still ripping and running? Yeah, pretty much. Yo, you're not tired by now, man? I'm so washed up.

If I have, like, a bottle of wine, I'm like, oh, I'm hungover. My head hurts. You guys are still rocking at this age? No, dude, I've been trying to tell him, you just got to keep doing it. And then, like, you fucking, you just get used to it. Yeah, it's like a fucking hangover. Like, what are you going to do? Fucking sit there and, like, you like you know no just have another one

and you're good like just just keep it moving you you know like it's a well-known people like oh wait we're not gonna have a cure for hangovers there's a cure it's another fucking man exactly exactly fuck when will people learn like sitting there nursing a hangover with asthma i don't feel good and eating like weird food just have another drink dude and you will be money tommy tommy we're gonna teach everybody you and i baby you and i so we got some folks out there that need some help you know so we got this game called answer the internet where we have these weird questions we ask our guests we got we got a handful of them we're gonna run through with you if that's cool all right the internet all right all right let's see would you rather be a pig and be able to orgasm for 30 minutes straight

or a lion and be able to have sex 60 times a day oh the fucking pig sounds awesome if you could feel like that for 30 minutes yeah dude guys get the shaft guys feel it for like half a second it's like one second done it's over Fucking pig sounds awesome. If you could feel like that for 30 minutes. Dude. Dude, guys get the shaft. Guys feel it for like half a second. It's like one second. Done. It's over.

I want to have like a girl orgasm one time. Yo, 30 minutes. Dude, 30 minutes? Think about 30 minutes. When you're on minute like 24 and you're just shaking and shit. Dude, we would fuck. We would explode. Plus, I feel like you guys probably already were like lions you probably were fucking 50 times a day that's probably not even a a big deal for you

guys dude exactly that's not even a thing the 30 minute orgasm what how many what do you think your record is how many times you think you fucked in one day in your prime uh uh five oh all right all right that's good i'm happy i'm like i'm all right i'm kind of somewhat on the same level as tommy lee all right next up what do we got all right if you could be the patron saint of something what would it be patron saint be could be the patron saint of something, what would it be? Patron saint of. Be the what? The patron saint of something. Like, what is it?

St. Valentine is the patron saint of love. Yeah. So Tommy Lee would be the patron saint of. The saint of. Oh, my God. Rhythm. That's a bold one. God. Rhythm. Pace. That's a bold one.

That's a real answer and a good one, dude. If you could have footage from one memorable moment in your life, what would that video be? Holy shit. You know what? Probably watching my first son being born underwater in a bathtub. Oh, you did the water birth? That's crazy. Yeah. Yeah. Probably watching my first son being born underwater in a bathtub. Oh, you did the water birth?

That's crazy. Yeah, yeah, home birth. And, like, probably, well, just that in itself is just an epic sight. But my reaction would be priceless to have that footage because I was sitting there, and as you're watching a baby's head, I'm watching my son's head come out. Of the fucking vagina. That's how it works. Right. Right. And and it's underwater.

And I'm and I'm sitting there like a fucking moron. I'm like, you got to get him out of there. He's going to drown. He's going to drown. like a fucking moron i'm like you gotta get him out of there he's gonna drown he's gonna drown and then and everybody's like dude he's he's been in liquid for fucking you know months and months and months he's fine but i but i i don't know that all that logic went out the window and i was just thinking he was gonna drown and i was just freaking the fuck out, probably just throwing more panic into the whole situation. I thought one cool one you said on that Turning Point podcast was being able to see your parents the night you opened for Ozzy

when they were like, yeah, he made it. He's serious. He definitely did this music thing. Dude, that's another priceless one, man. At the end of the day, one of the big things that we want is that fucking

approval or affirmation. Yeah, that affirmation or approval from your parents going like, man, the motherfucker did it. He said he was going to do it, and he did it. It's not like he said he was going to do it and kind of did it. Right.

And I would just remember their face. They're looking around. This is at the forum in L.A., and they're looking around, and there's probably 17,000, 18,000 people, and the look on their face was just like this. Yeah. I mean, that's just pure pride and joy. Yeah.

Told you I didn't need high school. Yeah. Yeah. I told you. Fuck high school. All right. Last one. We'll let you get out of here.

If you could upgrade one body part, what would it be? Oh, man. One body part. I think we be? Oh, man. One body part. I think we know what it's not, Tommy. I think we know which one we're going to leave alone. I guess, fuck, one body part. It can be like looks. It can be toned.

It can be whatever the fuck you want it to be you know um i guess it would be my uh i i i would improve my my uh my skinniness i wish i was like a little like a little beefier that's all okay you'd add a little i think you're gonna say you'd get skinny i was like you're fucking spelt as hell man you look great no it's fucking dude it's the craziest thing I still weigh the same I weighed in high school. That's crazy. What? You've got a hell of a metabolism, man. And I eat like a motherfucker and not always the best shit either.

I don't know. Maybe I got tapeworm or something. Well, let's get out of here on that, man. Andro is out october 16th tommy lee man it's a fucking pleasure bro thank you dude really appreciate it man man nice talking to y'all you guys be good and uh be safe and all that shit and uh it was nice to see your pretty faces i mean just the man let me tell you let me give you a little just let me just give you a little

look behind the curtain obviously if you know tommy lee there is one topic topic of conversation surrounding tommy lee which we did not broach which we could have talked about for hours but we were we were asked to not bring it up so we said okay when you can have like a legendary interview with someone where you did not tackle arguably the most memorable thing that's how fucking interesting you can make the argument that tommy lee's the first dick i ever saw that wasn't mine it's not an argument i was gonna say you could you could state the fact yeah it's probably it's certainly the um you know what tommy lee did and and i we brought up his dick real quick and if you could see if you're watching it or you see a clip of it

he was kind of like okay funny yes i have a hammer we don't need to talk about it like i've talked about my dick for like 20 years i was like all right i tried it i broke the topic but i like that like yeah like listen i gotta do my job and then you can kind of like shut me down and in a nice way fine we're good tommy lee i think like let the world know white guys can have big dicks too that's an important thing he's like the reverse jackie robinson of dicks like we're not all just small peckered guys we've got hammers too not a lot of us not me but tommy does unbelievable i mean i i cannot stress how much i enjoy can i can i tell you, I've seen a lot of chemistry in podcasts and whatnot. You and Tommy Lee clicking over the hangovers was like watching two, like, best friends.

I mean, yeah, yeah, you're right. No, you're right. Exactly. That's what I'm saying. Everyone always says it. They're like, why don't we have a cure for hangovers? We do. It's alcohol.

He was like, Nick, can we get a clip of that? Because we're leading with that. Yeah. I mean, he was like, yes, dude. In that moment, there's times where we're talking to a celebrity, a comedian, and we make them laugh. And we're like, wow, I just made XYZ laugh. For Tommy Lee to be like, fuck, fuck yeah this dude parties you know this dude knows what's up that's a ringing endorsement it's crazy so uh unbelievable stuff let's get to it now with

cody co and noel miller two guys who uh are just dominating the internet game and doing it in a way i like them because they're not like they're not we talk about it they're not like in a tick tock house and they're not like kind of corny. You are on YouTube, but they're just like regular ass dudes. You know, it's brought to you by Bubz Bubz Naturals. I did not know this. Bubz has taught me so much. Things like collagen. We need collagen.

Did you know that? I thought collagen was like, you know, girls put them in their lips. Yeah, we need collagen. It like it's like what leads like wrinkles and droopy skin, but it's also what keeps your joints together and what keeps your ligaments strong and stuff. I don't have collagen in my body. All news to me. None, right? I don't know this stuff, and I certainly don't have any collagen.

So Bubz Naturals replenishes all the natural things you need in your body that you're not even thinking about. So, yeah, the extent of my knowledge is like protein and like fucking water. Protein and egg whites. Right, right. Which are just protein. And Bubz is coming in with collagen peptides and MCT oil, all of these things that are sustainably sourced, grass-fed, pasture-raised, collagen peptides, no fillers, no flavors, no impurities. It's a powder that you put into hot or cold drinks, and you get all of these natural things

in your body. Whole30 approved, NSF certified for sport, keto and paleo friendly, GMO free, and everything that you buy, 10% of it goes to charity. So you'll be getting that MCT oil powder powder and you'll be helping out a good cause while you get collagen and peptides and all these things that help you burn fats and, uh, and keep your body clean and healthy. Go to bubs, naturals, B U B S naturals.com promo code KFC for 20% off. That's bubs naturals.com promo code KFC for 20% off Cody code's bubsnaturals.com. Promo code KFC for 20% off.

Cody Coe, Noel Miller, what's up? We were actually just talking before you guys got on here, and then Noel was kind of making a joke about it. Do you guys not, do you just roll like just you two? You're not a part of a clique, a gang, a house, a clan, all that shit? Is it just Cody and Noel? Yeah, I was explaining to him that not everyone in la has to do that so that's the thing is like in la it's so expensive that people had to make shit up for

having 17 is that really it i mean i guess i'm so naive to it it's like oh is that what it is we're all go like 17 ways on our rent yeah because then it's like why do you have 17 people in your house oh we're a we're a tiktok clan that's all it is i guess yeah yeah very 16 people in your house. Oh, we're a TikTok clan. That's all it is. Yeah, yeah. We're 16 people in a studio apartment. So what you're saying is you guys are just fucking rich enough that you can have your own houses. What you're saying? I have empty rooms in my house.

I was going to say, what are we doing here, man? You got no fucking books on your bookshelf. What's the one thing? Because I don't need them. I'm too rich for that shit. What is that one picture on the shelves back there? It's probably of his feet. Oh, no, there's more.

There's more. Hold on, hold on. Which one are we talking? That one in the corner? Oh, the way your head was blocking it. The closest one there. Yeah. What is that?

Oh, that one. Yeah. That says, it's death. It says, fuck y'all, I'm rich. It says, have a beer with me. All right. Okay, I like that aesthetic. And there's a gaming in progress sign back back there because you know I like to game.

Two diving awards from when I was in college. You're a diver? You're a diver? Springboard diver, yes, I was. Thank God this fucking TikTok, this YouTube shit worked out, bro. Otherwise, I'd be a diving coach right now. That's an interesting thought. I really never put the pieces together there that people are living together because they almost fucking have to

but i feel like bro yeah i mean i almost moved in with my ex-girlfriend because we just needed to save right yeah man that's like the most common shit in la is you don't need people in like forced relationships because of rent yeah same thing in new york i'd leave i'd leave her but then i gotta fucking pay the full amount and that is and it gets expensive you can really put like a flat out dollar amount on your love for a girl

I didn't even question it she was like should we move in together I was like yes absolutely there's a lot of economical benefits to being in a couple yeah man you know my favorite shit is you can't put a price on love yeah you can ask anyone who fucking survived the 2008 recession there's a fucking number yeah on their relationship add up your cable and your utility there are people who are still married from a 2008 recession

they're like i don't even like this person she just gave me i would have left this motherfucker but the mortgage is so crazy on this thing we went upside down on a boat like listen I love you but I also really love having red zone yeah man shit adds up you keep getting those when you order the movies

and they're $19.99 because they're not available for rent yet that shit goes up you gotta date somebody in like the fall and spring months when you're not using the heat or the air conditioning. And then you're allowed. Then you can love freely. Those high winter months, man. That's half the Barstool listeners.

Those motherfuckers who can't pay for Red Zone. She's such a good girl, man. Yo, half is a low number, man. It's 100%. It's 100% of the listeners. Don't you hate her she got red zone man i gotta stick around dude yeah the amount of people the the longest running joke the biggest cliche in the world right is is like the netflix password and streaming service passwords and i

mean that shit is really it's like 8.99 a month you know it's so low and there are people who are but it adds up so me and my girlfriend are doing it right now right so i just do my girlfriend and because of rent we all have the both of us have hulu we have netflix we got prime we got fucking peacock we got all of them and we're like we gotta we gotta decide who's gonna keep what and i And I'm like, I'm going to keep it all because whatever goes wrong. Yeah. That's the new prenup. I'm going to keep my own streaming services. Wait, wait, wait.

What did you say? Peacock? That's NBC's. So Parks and Rec just went there this month and then The Office is going there at the end of the year so like i mean i need those two shows do you guys watch tv not like that like i'm just gonna go ahead and say i think that's a white guy thing wait wait wait or just fucking television is uh no like

like re-watching sitcom shit that is like yeah that, that's your thing. I mean, you're 100% right. Cody, do you watch the shows? Oh, yeah. Yeah. White power. Yeah, man, listen. Come on. Kevin basically just threw up a white power on that.

I said white power. I hit the P, and I was like, wait a minute. Wait a minute. We'll edit that one out. I got to go. Thank you so much. We did it. You know what I learned?

Love Leslie Knope. What power. What I learned, though, when we started to get into the YouTube shit, is how much the younger generation will... The guy here that we have is the YouTube expert. At night, I just pop on YouTube, and I run through all my subscribed channels and like that's how I watch TV at night.

And that's, I think I'm, I don't know, I'm just a little bit too old for that or like that was never my thing. It's, that's so foreign to me to be like, that's my entertainment for the night. I go on Cody's coach channel, I go on this channel, that channel. It's like a whole different way of entertainment really.

Yeah, well, it's crazy because like it's wild to make a piece of entertainment that people like to put on in the background yeah yeah really that's what it is right welcome to podcast yeah that's every podcast yeah i just learned that because i'm not really a podcast listener but i finally there's one show that really like grasped me and i started to listen and i realized in like an hour long i'll probably pay attention like 15 minutes that shit there's someone naked cleaning some shit right now they don't care about anything right absolutely and then it almost it's bad news though because it lowered my bar even further because i was like well who fucking even cares if that episode was that good no one's really

even listening anyway yeah yeah see now see now you know what it's like to be a youtuber especially for you it's the same thing with anything even movies now right oh yeah we're sitting on the couch watching a movie last night and i'm like are you enjoying this my girlfriend she's like i love this she was on tiktok for 45 minutes i looked up one time i'm like you don't even hear it i don't understand what movie and then i did the exact same shit right afterwards yeah what movie we were watching the James Comey role oh

that's how was that the one about James Comey it was great I'm not gonna ask your girlfriend but I'll ask you yeah see that's the problem

when I was actually watching it was great and then the TikToks after that were fucking hilarious if you watch some dumb shit like yeah

TikTok's fine it's like when you're trying to keep up with a real movie like that and you're still just on your phone half the time it's like you don't know you didn't watch that you don't know what you're talking about no no when you guys hit a certain number i mean i what what are you guys at subscribers wise it's got to be a fucking joke of a number how high is it um do you even know anymore do you even look yeah i mean cody hustles way harder than me so he's's like five. I'm like hovering around two.

At what point do you guys, are you still like hustling for subscribers? Or are you kind of just like, we're set. Like we have enough and it's going to keep growing? I don't think you ever feel like it's enough. Yeah, it's like a weird, like, I don't know. Hey, Noel, it's enough. Yeah, trust me. You have enough.

You can spare some, bro. You're enough, brother guys whenever i don't whenever i'm like oh i'm good i don't i don't need to post a video for these two weeks because i'm doing whatever they're not this is like that nagging feeling that's like oh yeah but the algorithm really like oh man yo the algorithm is another thing we just like i'm starting to learn about and the algorithm giveth and in the balls, man. Yo, the algorithm is another thing we just like, I'm starting to learn about. And the algorithm giveth and the algorithm taketh, man. There are times where I'm just like, fuck you, algorithm. Why not?

What did I do wrong, algorithm? Why don't you love me, man? It's crazy. And you upload some shit that you don't even think about. And that, for some reason, takes off. And you're like, I'll even try. Yeah. You ever spend like half your brand deal money shooting like

scripted sketches and just for people to be like, I don't like this. And you're like half your brand deal money shooting like scripted sketches and just for people to be like, I don't like this. And you're like, cool, yeah, fuck me. So do you guys get in, do you get into the comments and whatnot? Do you like, do you like pay attention to that shit? Sometimes, like if there's a comment I don't like, I'll fucking bark back. I don't care. Do you?

Yeah. I'm like that too. He's not, I do that and people are like, they act like it's like, oh, I'm in your head or it's like a sign of weakness or clearly. I'm like, I don't know. Sometimes I just want to like fight. Sometimes I want to clap back. It's not like the end of the world. I think it's a selective thing.

Sometimes someone says some bozo shit. I'm like, no, man, you're just a dude with like a fucking 172 video Minecraft playlist. I know you dress like shit. You don't got good opinions. I do too. Fuck you. I like how you went to that. That's it. You look like an asshole. You dress like a goddamn son of a bitch. What about you,

Cody? You mix it up? No. I don't. No. I don't even really look at them anymore. I was going to say, do you even look? So that's the key. I used to be all about it. I used to read every single comment and i didn't understand when people were like i don't read the comments because i'm like you gotta know what people are thinking and then and then i used to like search my own name on twitter all the time like do that shit like go deep and then i don't

know everyone just hates me now so i don't read shit anymore what oh cody's exactly me everyone hates you and you're like whatever it happens yeah this guy once you're like on the internet for long enough it's just people just start hating you everyone hates you it's fine whatever man well i wish you didn't hate me i wish you didn't but you do and i'm not gonna kill myself over it yeah maybe i've always thought not yet at least i've always thought i don't know you guys are on a higher level, but for us it's like the worst level of quote-unquote fame, where it's like you're big enough to have people who hate your guts, but not so big that you can't see all the comments, you know what I mean?

Like the Kardashians, those people, they can't even keep up with comments and feedback, because there's so much of it. I can keep up with it, but enough that there's just random assholes who will say nasty things all the fucking time so yeah i thought i mean like for the most part i don't reach it like that's the funny thing is like i'll get on twitch and people be like i tweeted this thing at you i'm like i never saw it yeah come on man yeah yeah i muted your ass in fucking 2016 i just like don't read notifications man it's just uh i don't know this is well you guys also aren't in you're not as heavy in in twitter right twitter is just a fucking hellscape i mean i think we both try to pop in and get a joke off and then run away yeah that's how we look at it well how many

all the time did you yes yeah i mean we're we've been doing it for like since like oh nine and i mean i'm a full-blown twitter addict so and it's just terrible for your psyche in the past like couple years that place is a twitter is a shithole nightmare i think it's i think when it's good though it's the funniest man because it is like that's where clever people like you said are getting jokes off and when it's good it's great and it's just very rarely good there are great jokes on there it's just like now it's like 90 it's like bro percent jokes and and 90 it's too many kids and moms too many kids and moms get the kids and the moms off the internet get them the fuck out of here they ruin everything they ruin everything this the internet is for fucking drug users alcoholics people who hate themselves. This shit is like self-abuse.

This is not for kids. This is not for moms. I love that. Get the kids and the moms out of here, man. You should have a drug test before you tweet everything. You have to be positive. You have to test positive.

That's great. You know when you tweet something and it says retry, this one right to your drafts? That's what happens. If you're not on drugs, it just goes right to your drafts. You had to have been fucked up in the last 72 hours to be on the internet. Like, for the internet, there should be a reverse breathalyzer on your phone and your PC. You got to trace amounts of cocaine detected. Send that shit.

Thank God. Finally. But you know what's fucked up? Guys, I'm shitting. You know what's fucked up? We're still going to get shitty old people on because they're all fucked up on opiates and stuff. So they're going to be like, they're going to pass that shit with flying colors. And we'll still get moms because they'll test positive for like.

All right, you're right. The drugs, they're out. The drugs. Everyone's on drugs. That's not good enough. Everything but white wine. If you test positive for white right, you're right. The drugs, they're out. The drugs. Everyone's on drugs. That's not good enough. Everything but white wine. If you test positive for white wine, you're out. That's it.

No, wait, no. The kind of moms I'm thinking about are the ones that are fucking clean. You know, like soccer mom, eat your fucking crap. Well, we're going to get a lot of... Yo, they're not getting a lot of care. Yeah, those girls are on Xanax all day long, bro. They're not.

Yeah. But yeah, I watched the social dilemma recently everyone's been talking about that on netflix i just started that it's like uh i think it's just the facebook crowd and i say once those people all die i think we'll be in good shape no one young you got your your audience is not on fucking facebook right they don't even know what it is and so there's like 200 bazillion people on there all spitting politics and fake news or whatever it's ruining the world but they'll all be dead in like i don't know 30 years whatever and then we're fine then we go back to normal yeah what's that about social dilemma it dude it's it's everything that we know

as engineers just like overly dramatized again like dude that's exactly why i'm not gonna watch it it's his own i know i know it's bad i know it's not good. It's people from, like, Twitter, LinkedIn, Facebook, yada, yada, talking about how they created a monster. Yeah, they make, like, some decent points. But, you know, it's just, like, they're using some media that's, like, old as fuck. Like, it's just people being like, I created the like button. I didn't know I was going to make teenagers want to kill themselves. That's really it.

We were saying that the other day. We're like, uh facebook invented the like button and we as people were like where the fuck's the dislike button i know that's all we wanted they were like yeah so you can like this well no no i want to show i hate this yeah man okay yeah that's the real social dilemma there's not enough ways that we can show hate each other bro the okay the fucking here's the thing the part about like kids growing up with this shit i thought was fair i'm like that's crazy like being 11 and having people being like why your fucking ears look like that yeah that that's messed up but as far as like being on the internet like when i was 11 i was on

rotten.com i was looking at people oh you were you were rotten guy by helicopter yeah yo my babysitter used to watch rotten with me and we would like like i saw mother theresa's fucking autopsy that's a real thing that happened i i don't know if it was actually hers but i saw a person who looked like mother theresa getting cut open i i watched that little girl i watched get hit by a train, man. I was in like fifth grade watching people get hit by locomotives. Like, no fucking...

If you're upset by the dislike button, the like button, whatever, you did not grow up in my era. You don't even know about old people. That's light work, man. What about the dopamine that releases every time you see your light? Dude, I watched a person die. Talk about the rush that releases every time you see your light? Dude, I watched a person die. Yeah.

Talk about the rush. What about whatever nerves are firing then? It's like, oh, you thought you made something bad with the like button? Talk to the Rotten.com guys. Yo, I saw. We were just getting fucking autopsy pictures and uploading them. We were just click baiting. We said Mother Teresa.

For all we know, that was just some fucking dude. We didn't even know who that was. Yeah, Mother Teresa just clickbaiting. Like, we said Mother Teresa. For all we know, that was just some fucking dude. Like, we didn't even know who that was. Yeah, Mother Teresa had a hammer cock. Dude, I saw on Rotten, I saw fucking two construction workers with chains wrapped around their dicks. And they were just pulling each other. And they were having, like, a tug of war with their dicks. I watched that. I was nine.

Let's dance, baby. This is why you guys rewatched The Office, so you could bleach all that shit in your fucking head. I saw the dude with a helicopter blade hit his head, and it split his shit open, and once I saw

that cornucopia of an image, I was like, I don't know if I ever want to come back here. Cody, did you not fuck with any of this stuff? No, I did. All right. He's like, I just don't want to relive it. Was it E-Fucked? Yeah.

There's that guy on E-Fucked with two dicks. That one fucked me up. That was a weird one, man. The worst thing I ever saw on E-Fucked was a deaf girl having sex. Oh, man. And she, like, like dude it was bad it was bad we've hit the limit

we've hit the YouTubers limit we get it kid gloves for you guys so you got a new song out stop stop the new joint is Sophia and I mean

we kind of have again on a much lesser level than you guys there's a group here who started a pop punk band kind of as a joke and then they realized like everyone is a pretty talented musician and we got a front man all of a sudden they started making real music I feel like Tiny Meat Gang is like

obviously humorous but also you guys can just put out bangers. It's just good music. Thanks, bro. Shout out to Diamond Pistols, man, because if we were making those beats, we would not be here saying that. Is that it? You feel like you just linked up with the right people?

Totally, man. He's great, man. A thousand percent. If we had any bit of whack beats, we'd be out of there. Yeah, I know that, but at the same time, I'm sure they're happy to have you guys you know on their track i feel like it's yeah two-way street right yeah yeah no no uh he's great man he um he he took a chance on us in the beginning and just continues to be like yeah let's let's keep let's keep at it so you know we just try to get better when you when you get better, are you trying to make people laugh?

Are you trying to, like, spit bars? What's, like, the goal here of Tiny Meat Gang? Money. No, no. Let me tell you what doesn't make money. Let me tell you what doesn't make money. Music. You guys going to be pissing on your Grammys one day?

Yeah, basically. When he peed on that thing, I understood. I yeah you did all that work for what pee on that shit man no we want to like we want to make people laugh but we also want to make good music that's yeah that's what it is yeah i think some people some people like are upset that we don't just do like the super on the nose-nose humor, but you can't do that all the time. Yeah, nobody likes that. I mean, the deeper level is where it gets real clever and funny.

That Kanye shit was funny, though, because I feel like Kanye, I'm pretty sure it's universally known that the music industry kind of fucks the artists. I feel like we've all known that for a while. It's like Kanye just learned that or something, where he's like, Wait a second. Hang on. You guys keep 80 or something. Where he's like, wait a second. Hang on, you guys keep 80% of the money? That doesn't sound fair at all. That's part of it, he has a label.

Yeah, right. I was going to say, you're doing it to someone else, bro. There's so many producers tweeting at him being like, oh yeah, this shit is bad. Why don't you fucking give me my money then? What did Luke Bryan say? Luke Bryan, I forget what his big song was but he's like i made like 300 on that song it's crazy they just oh so wait are you guys you guys are obviously just like putting everything out on your own right you don't even need to mess with any of that shit

no we were indie but then we signed to arista for a um for an ep deal which was you know which is great and they've been um why do why i do that what's the benefit there for you guys i feel like you already have your platform and distribution and all that no um they definitely help grow our music and um yeah they uh you know as far as like yeah getting the song getting some of our music out there they've done a great job with that so interesting yeah also super collaborative and they don't tell us like how to make our shit and um yeah it's cool that's the goal all right we're gonna play a little uh answer the internet i believe you guys uh dabbled in this once we've

kind of recently rolled it into uh a podcast because it's tough to do it remotely with covid whatnot so today you guys are going to be the first ones ever though we're going to determine whether you won or lost Answer the Internet today. Based on your answers. Wait, is this the first ever Zoom Answer the Internet? Yeah, well, this is going to be the first one where we're talking like it's a win or loss. We've been trying to figure it out over Zoom, and for whatever reason, it doesn't quite translate. So instead, making it into a podcast segment.

I'm going to get a pen out. I'm going to do it. Yeah, we're going to grade your answers. All right? Okay. So we'll determine whether you quote unquote win or lost, and then we'll take it from there. All right?

Uh-oh. Let her rip, John. Question number one. Uh-oh. He's thinking about it. Can you dump someone whose parents both have cancer? Woo! Can you dump someone whose parents both have cancer?

Coming in hot. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, not if you share a Netflix account. Bravo, bravo, bravo. All right. You got to check there. Boom.

One. That's a win. Let's go. If you, this is an existential one. If you ate yourself, would you double in size or disappear? Would you double in size or disappear? You guys might not be high enough for this one. Although maybe you are.

Who do I know? Damn, is that like some lizard shit? Like some regenerative, like, if I eat my fingers, like they'd come right back. Right, so then you got a belly full of your fingers and you grow your fingers back but I don't know do you regenerate but realistically wouldn't you just eventually be a torso and then just a pile of shit

yeah Cody going all doctor on us I suppose yeah you'd be head ass and shit you'd be head ass has alright you get a win there done Yeah, you'd be head ass and shit. Has.

All right, you get a win there. Done. Has been. Okay, good. You got one? I got one here. If you could ask one person, dead or alive, any question on live TV, and they have to answer it honestly, who are you asking and what are you asking? Oh, I'm asking Putin.

Did you guys actually cheat? Okay, Cody. His answer is yes, by the way. You guys actually didn't think that happened? Of course it fucking happened, you idiots. Oh, no, no, no. Can I take it back? Can I go to Bush and be like, so how did you orchestrate that whole thing?

Just leave it at that. That whole thing that went on it at that that whole that whole thing that went on how'd you that must have been a lot of work where did that start i'd probably ask jason statham for his autograph honestly hell yeah oh man both great answers check you guys are fucking three fights is happy with. Yo, how awful is it that fucking Fast got pushed back? You a big Fast guy, Cody? I mean, I like the franchise, yeah. It got pushed back like four weeks, didn't it?

Yeah, it got pushed back a month. Oh, no, now he's got to watch The Office for the 69th time. Oh. That's how white guys live in time is just uh office reruns yeah how old are you i'm uh 17 offices deep yeah yeah yeah every year is just looking forward to the new fast drop yeah i mean i feel like you're making fun of us but you're also right that's my that's my steelo man that's my shit all right should you lie about your height on dating apps fuck yeah yeah you should say you're six five and then when you show up you're

just like i don't know man it's too late you're pot committed yeah yeah no then you're like come on man you want to eat what's up i might be five seven I'm still paying the bill, though. Yeah, you going home hungry and empty, or you going full with personality? Come on, what's up? I think you lie shorter, like 5'4". Oh, so you're a surprise, like a good surprise? Yeah, so that you show up and you're like...

But then you run the risk. She's not even going to say... I mean, it's going to be harder to get matches, for sure. Yeah, no doubt. But then it's like, surprise, Mitch, I'm 6'1". Once you do, it's going to be a home run. Yeah. Just put, if you're in LA, just put, I manage basketball players.

You're going to fucking... Is that a big thing over there? What? Like, managing athletes? I mean, that's a big thing anywhere. Is it? Fuck yeah. I mean, living in New York, I've absolutely never heard that.

Well, the Knicks is not. Yeah, the Knicks isn't. I managed four Lakers. Hi, what's up? I started the Kyle Kuzma petition that he shouldn't get a ring. You'll get dudes showing up. I mean, I wasn't into you like that. I just had to know more about your Lakers management.

That's really sick. All right, last one here. If you had to be Noah in Noah's Ark, you'd only save two people from each race, who would you save? What? Yeah, that's right. That's right.

You want to win this or lose this? Let's go. I can't answer that. What are you talking about? It's not like I'm saying you have to pick which race. I'm saying who are the two best white people. Who are the two best... Okay, that's where your brain went, Mr. Racist, okay? I'm saying who are the two funniest or best black people,

two best white people, Asian people. No, man, because this is a fucking... This is a trap. It's a trap. It's a big trap. Why do you think we say that for five, bro? No, man, because this is a fucking, this is a trap. It's a trap. It's a big trap. Why do you think we say that for five, bro? I knew there was no chance. If I'm Moses and I gotta pick two people from each race,

I'm killing myself. I'm not. I'm just not taking any white people. That's the loophole. Nah, I take Tom Hanks. I take loophole nah I'd say Tom Hanks I'd say Tom Hanks yeah yeah yeah I'd take Tom Hanks

and Celine Dion for white people I think Celine? yeah but then including you that's three so what happens no I'm out

I'm out I'd kill myself oh okay alright you'd kill yourself alright I don't deserve to be on the boat that'd be ridiculous okay

so you pick all the people and then you just die so you can't get in trouble I'm like peace boys and then you're a true hero though Then you go down in the history books I'd be like that guy on Titanic who fucking He's like yeah I'm out of here later

Alright so what's the final verdict Do they win or lose I mean you went 4 or 5 You get a huge fucking X on that last one That's fine I mean you gotta take Denzel, Kerry Washington, right? And then. All right.

What about Dave Chappelle? Oh, fuck. See? Nah, I got to take Denzel. Okay, fair. I think I'm taking Chappelle over Denzel. Yeah? Although Dave Chappelle would like hate you.

Like, I don't want you to save me, white boy. Get out of here. Everyone should hate me. Yeah, well, we do. We do. save me. White boy, get out of here. Everyone should hate me. Yeah, we do. So, all right. So you guys get the official W, uh,

you're four or five. You got to nominate someone else now, though. I need someone to play answer the internet. Win or loss. Fuck. We have to nominate anyone. Yeah.

Anyone. Any of your friends, your acts, people on the come up, anybody you think would be good at it? I mean, like you said, you don't have anybody, you know, living in a house or a plant. Cory Booker, man.

Something tells me Cory Booker would stink at Answer the Internet. I don't know, bro. Give it some thought. Give it some thought. When this drops, give out your official endorsement, official nomination, all right? Oh, man, it's got to be right now. We're here. Let's go.

Make it happen. Who's in the industry right now doing some shit that you, you know, in the YouTube world, TikTok world, whatever world that you are into? Yeah, man, if you got a TikToker on here, any one of them,

make it happen. I'll ride those fucking floppy-haired weirdos to the top, man. I don't give a shit. Give me those views. Those fucking hot 18-year-olds, I'll ride those fucking floppy-haired weirdos to the top, man. I don't give a shit. Give me those views. Those fucking hot 18-year-olds, I'll ride. I will ride an 18-year-old boy all night. Do you guys work at Instagram?

This is crazy. All right. The new single is Sophia. Tiny Meat Gang doing their thing. Of course, Noel Miller, Cody Cole on YouTube. You know it. So subscribe, go download, watch, listen, all of it. Thank you guys, as always.

We appreciate it, man. Of course, man. Thank you guys for having us, man. I can't believe I brushed my teeth for this. I didn't. You brush your teeth for Zoom calls? Fuck yeah, man. I just feel my breath is going to come through the mic.

I can smell it from here. Minty fresh, man. All right. We're going to go watch The Office. All right, man. You know, I just, I always feel my breath is going to come through the mic. Just, I can smell it from here. Minty fresh, man. Yeah. All right. We're going to watch The Office. All right, guys. Later. I've got some issues that nobody can see.

And all of these emotions are pouring out of me. I bring them to the light. It's only like this. It's like to my life. It's like to my life, to my life, to my life, to my life. Uh-huh. Yeah. Uh-huh. Yeah. Uh-huh. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.