KFC Radio - Tommy Pham Watch Has Begun ft Camille Kostek
Episode Date: July 20, 2021Subscribe, Rate, Share, and Leave a Review! Subscribe to our youtube: barstool.link/KFCRADIO -KFC and Feits Recap our first KFC Radio Live Show back. Thanks to everyone who came out! Keep an eye out... for our next one. -We do our third every KFC Radio Callback to the guy who created Tommy Pham watch -We give Big Daddy Trent a call to understand why he was so confused about seeing Sweet n Sour sauce the other night -Top 5 SNL Case Members -We listen to a recording of a cold caller's first day at work that goes terribly wrong -Voicemails include obliterating geese & adopting chickens -(01:53:00) Camille Kostek returns to the show! We discuss her long-term (fake) engagement with Feits, funny moments while modeling for Sports Illustrated, her role in the upcoming Ryan Reynolds movie Free Guy, and much more! Let us know what you think on twitter: @KFCRadio @KFCBarstool @Feitsbarstool @JNics415 @nickhammy5 @Joshua__DM @mikeypavssYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
We're on the same page. We're agreeing.
We're escalating and yelling each other louder despite agreeing with each other.
That's the show. It's another edition of KFC Radio on the
Barstool Sports Network. It's Clancy
and Feidelberg.
We're back! Fresh off our
live show. Shout out to everyone who came out to Levity out in. Hey. We're back. Fresh off our live show.
Shout out to everyone who came out to Levity out in Rocklands.
We hit the burbs for our first live show back from COVID.
If you were there, shout out to you.
Got a couple hundred people in a mall.
In a mall?
It was a weird thing, man.
That's one of those, like, so Levity Comedy Club is in the mall,
in the Palisades Mall, which is like the 10th biggest mall in the country
or some shit.
Which Kevin didn't know malls were big. Bro, it's the biggest mall in the mall, in the Palisades Mall, which is like the 10th biggest mall in the country or some shit. Which Kevin didn't know malls were
big. Bro, it's
the biggest mall in the country. It's a huge one.
It's bigger than any mall you've ever been in.
It's bigger than any mall you've ever been in.
On the way in, which, oh yeah, by the way,
Kevin's the worst driver in history. What's amazing.
I am, I am, you,
just because you're scared
doesn't mean I'm bad at it.
You slam the brakes a lot.
Because I'm multitasking.
Yeah, that's bad driving.
No, it's not.
It's good driving.
Oh, you're incorrect.
I'm never going to get in an accident.
Never been in an accident.
I can't wait until you die in a car accident.
If that happens, you can call me a bad driver.
Until then, save your fucking pearl clutching for your fucking mom's car.
I'm promoting the show.
You had no idea I thought
you were bad driving. I absolutely
did. Bullshit!
When I first, the first time I had to
like brake because I was fucking
Yeah, you went up. And it was like
25 feet between us and the next car. It was about
a foot between us and a dog. There was
never any, that was crazy too. I was
just turning left. I was just turning left.
I was just turning left.
And if you've ever turned left in New York City, when the pedestrians are coming, you've got to slowly creep in.
Otherwise, you're never going to turn left.
But there wasn't a slow creeping.
There was a slow creeping.
It was a jam session.
According to me, it's a slow creep.
Just because you creep extra slow doesn't mean my slow creep isn't slow.
You sound like my fucking mom.
And now you know what's gonna happen
next time you're in the car with me
now I'm really gonna drive like an asshole
oh yeah guess what
never again
yeah good
good
good
and how much quicker did I get you there
uh
these guys left like half an hour before
I will say this
and they got there 20 minutes after
significantly
yeah
I love that
when I was like
Nick how'd you get there
he's like I'm not there yet I was like, Nick, how'd you get there? He's like, I'm not there yet.
I was like, we left 20 minutes after you.
It was amazing.
Made great time because of my driving.
Fuck you.
The timing was good.
The driving was subpar.
Jackie's in the back crying her eyes out because she's fucking like reading or looking at the screen or whatever.
Jackie's like, I'm going to puke.
That's also because you guys don't know how to, when you drive in Manhattan
and especially right now post-COVID,
it's a fucking post-apocalyptic war
out there, man. The amount of, you gotta
like, there are times I'm like
blowing past cops being like, I don't care what you're
saying, fuck you, I gotta turn left. Because if I
don't, it's another hour and a half on my trip.
You got motherfuckers who are,
they have no idea what they're doing out here in the streets.
Okay, but the issue with your driving, other than the fact that you don't even use your hands, you drive with your knees, but you also, when you switch, like, the issue is the jerkiness of your driving.
In the city, you have to do that.
It's very herky-jerky, you're correct.
You could so easily just, like, slightly, like, hurt lane.
No, you cannot.
No, you cannot.
You go, you go, like, horizontal, and then you pull your back in if you i want you to drive in
the city and tell me that you can just slowly glide in and out by the way this is you can't
this is a woman who's hit an 80 year old man and she's telling you she's telling you by the way
the last driving story from jackie was i hit a pedestrian
take your fucking california west coast driving bullshit and shove it up your ass.
It was a hard tap. I believe she said he was
dramatic about the whole thing.
He was.
Again, hit is
an aggressive word. Hard tap.
If you make contact
with a pedestrian and you are in the car,
that's the problem.
The definition of hitting is hard tap.
If I hit the dog, if I hit that Great Dane,
first of all, we would have been fucked.
That Great Dane would have broke my windshield.
If I hit the dog,
if I hit the dog, I would have
been like, hand up, I hit a dog.
I'm a bad driver. I didn't hit the dog.
You hit a grandpa!
The old man didn't fall,
like he didn't fall.
Well, because he's a fucking warrior, apparently.
Because his balance is still
up from Omaha Beach when he invaded.
No, my car hit,
like, made contact with him, yes. Oh, now it's the
car's fault.
Officer, I wasn't speeding, the car was
speeding. I didn't hit him.
The car hit him.
But the, I do say,
you did pull a move that I will describe as nothing less than legendary.
It's when, so we all text and drive.
It happens occasionally.
But usually, once you kind of have a situation, you're like, all right.
Put the phone down.
Let's fucking zone in here.
Kevin had to slam the brakes.
It was not his fault, by the way.
He cut across like three lanes of traffic to get in front.
Yeah, I remember that.
Well, no, you didn't because you didn't see it.
I did, but I got you.
No, you saw the car.
You didn't see where it came from.
Oh, right, right, right.
You did not know how many lanes he came from.
Right, right, right.
I got you.
I got you.
And so Kevin had to slam the brakes on.
And usually you put your phone down in that case.
Kevin didn't even brake stride in a text.
Dude, it's not even texting anymore.
I mean, I've edited videos driving.
Like, I will sit there and I'm chopping up one Miniman video to send to my brother.
I mean, it is – I don't even consider not multitasking behind the wheel anymore.
I mean, just like also just dumb things.
Like that the other day, like I needed to get out of the house.
I needed to get here.
I think it was that day i was like i'm on a tight schedule and i was like the
videos were too long so i was like i have to do this there are times where i'm just like checking
out the timeline just like wow this is getting boring i i give driving theater rules which is
which i know you don't abide by either which is if you text me i'm gonna reply to a quick text
but i'm not gonna fuck around on my phone.
Yeah, I mean, I
I'm just on the phone constantly.
It's a full-blown addiction.
It's like when you're in the car
if you're addicted to cigarettes, you smoking them? Yep.
If you've got an addiction, doesn't matter where you are,
you're fucking scratching that itch, man.
Put it on the board, it is, I refuse to
ever die in a tornado
and Kevin, we have to have a party when Kevin dies in a car accident.
Yes.
Yes.
I will die behind the wheel.
No doubt.
And when that happens, you can call me a bad driver.
Until then, you can call me an aggressive driver.
Sure.
You can call me, I was going to say reckless.
I don't really give you reckless.
I'm going to give you reckless.
But I don't, I've never been in an you until you what you're doing in the car is reckless
so you're being a reckless driver now you have now you have not uh reaped the rewards of that
just yet i think that until it's reckless it's like um i guess you're right i'm trying to think
like i guess the reckless is not defined by the results, right? Right.
But until then, you know what it is? It's like, until then, it's like when people say like, oh, you know, one day you're going to get what's coming to you.
And if you don't get what's coming to you, you fucking, you know.
I'm getting places faster for the rest of my life until I get in a car accident.
I was talking to a throat doctor and he was like, yeah, you show like no signs of chewing tobacco.
But it's going to kill you. But no signs right chewing tobacco but but it's
gonna kill you but you will die you know what it is too it's so open so weird i'm seeing you
tomorrow by the way so um but you're going back to the doctor yeah for for your mystery illness
yeah just a follow-up that's a good idea figure it out i think i think everyone i've talked to
has been very concerned that they were like i don't know hope it doesn't happen again it's like
what is this like the 1800s like i don't know hope you don't die some doctors do it take a stab mail time um
i am a worse driver that i am a bad driver when i have to drive properly that i like i i have to
drive the way i drive this this sounds like someone who like a high school kid who's like
i drive better drunk yeah because i focus yeah we know when i have to do like 10 and 2 and like drive the speed limit i like it feels weird
to me i like i almost i feel like i'm driving too slow and that's like the problem if they're
if i have open road in front of me i take it yeah when you're cautious that's when you get hurt
kind of that's what letty ortiz says it's like you know when yeah when you're if you're when you brace when you brace up
you fucking
I don't know who Lenny Ortiz
fast time
you don't know who Lenny is
come on
but yeah
when you brace up
you break all your bones
when you're loosey goosey
when you're good
that's me
just good to go
in and out
and honestly
I mean
I cannot tell you
how fucking
bad the traffic is it's a war out there it was bad that was my first time experiencing it I mean I cannot tell you how fucking bad the traffic is
it's a war out there
it was bad
that was my first time
experiencing it
I mean we
it was like
probably took us
let's say
50 minutes to get there
and 30 minutes
it was just getting like
to the fucking
West Side Highway
I think it was 150
I think it was an hour and a half
yeah was it
I mean whatever it was
but like the first like
30 minutes was just like
moving like three blocks
in the city
and that's where
Jackie was
and cops saying no you can't turn here.
Just go in.
Fucking get out of here.
Jackie, can you do me a favor?
Can you get me a glass of ice, please?
I'm just going to have a drink.
I get a weekend cold, and all day I've been saying,
just get through the head re-interview.
A weekend cold.
Is that what we're calling now?
A weekend cold.
That's what Josh's friend just recently texted him.
Should we be bailing on you?
Yeah.
A weekend cold.
Which I'm like, I'm using that.
That's awesome.
I was going to say, I almost respect that.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight, and she was like, hey, I haven't really recovered
from this weekend cold.
And I tweeted, I was like, the fuck's a weekend cold?
Is that a nice New York way to say you went to Common Ground and just did too many drugs?
That girl had a fat hangover and did too many drugs.
I almost have to respect that.
I'd rather that than an actual...
She softened it, but she didn't lie.
She rebranded.
Yeah, that was rebranding.
That was just good branding. If she said, I got to go to my mom's house, that like rebranded. Yeah. That was rebranded. That was just good branding.
If she said like, oh, I got to like go to like my mom's house and like, that's just a lie.
If she was like, I did too much cocaine this weekend.
Like, all right, girl, see you next weekend.
Maybe.
I don't know.
Maybe I'll get you on a Thursday before you go on your coke binge.
Who knows?
Yeah, right.
Like, I would love to have a hangover, a weekend cold with you.
We could have our hangover cold together, girl.
This could be the beginning of something beautiful.
We got Camille Kostic on the show today talking Sports Illustrated and modeling and whatnot.
John's fiance.
We talk a lot about nipples.
Put that on your fucking clickbait.
Camille Kostic talks about nipples on KFC radio.
Let's go.
Also, this week, we will have an interview coming up with Henry Gold that we did today.
Henry Golding.
And we'll talk more about it at length, but I just can't not talk about it.
He grabbed our dicks.
Like the hottest guy in the world grabbed our dicks. He got both of your balls, right?
He got my two nuts and my dick.
He's got a bear paw.
He's got a huge hand.
Huge hands. He only got one. He got a full dick and one nut. He's got a bear paw. He's got a huge hand. Huge hands.
He only got one.
He got a full dick and one nut.
I love this.
Just because I got one that's longer.
Had he scooped under, he would have got it all, but he didn't go too low.
He's got the ones at regular height.
So that is on the show this week.
We got more to talk about with him, i don't want to ruin uh that but the live show um like i said a couple hundred people um came out and zero from new york
city which i love makes sense after we spent how long it takes to get out there i i was under the
impression that that night this show was 20 minutes away oh i i tweeted it's only 40 minutes
away a lot of times well technically it is there's no traffic it's like Rocket saying it takes
by the way shout out Rocket
call him Poppy
when he says it takes 15 minutes
I believe
7 minutes I forget what time it is he says
but to get from Saugus to Fenway
and then Coley was like
I'm never again letting him say that to me
because it's been 45 minutes now.
I'm good, thanks.
And –
Yeah, it's like seven minutes if you fly.
Like a bird.
Rocket waited until three in the morning to do –
And he got you.
Yeah.
And he's like, look.
And I was like, I love it.
Oh, wait.
That's amazing.
He also said something like – he's like, oh, I didn't realize you were going to do it during rush hour traffic.
It's like –
That's when the games are, dude.
Oh, you wanted to go for a Sox game?
Yeah, that's going to take you longer.
I mean, if I was a KFC Radio fan and I lived in Manhattan and I got bamboozled into going to this,
like I was pitching, come on out from the city, it'll be a good time.
And I mean, I would take one look at the traffic and be like, oh my god.
Yeah, yeah.
Eat the cost of those tickets, whatever was all rockland people all people from the
burbs which is cool levity is a cool club because i think my guess would be that it started out as
like comics go through there when they want to work out some new material when they are trying
out new bits when they you know they don't they're not ready whatever but then so many people did
that that it just became like its own fucking spot because louis ck was there the week before and the the hallways was
like chris rod and gary simon and it's just crazy to me that it's in a mall it's like like because
there's no unless i'm wrong maybe there is but like there's no back way to get in right like if
like like if like a star shows up he he's walking by fucking Dave and Buster's
and right by JCPenney's
right through the front door, no?
There must be somewhere, right?
What does it tell us?
Yeah, those fucking assholes walk right in.
You know there's a hockey rink in that mall?
Oh, so now the mall's big, huh?
Now the mall's big!
That's what the whole thing was about! That's what the whole thing was about.
That's what the whole thing was about.
Now it's impressive.
Kevin was surprised.
I used to go to the movies at malls.
Yeah.
You grew up on malls at movie theaters?
I was like, yeah, that's every mall ever.
It's not, though.
The hockey rinks are new.
Go-kart things, those are new.
Those are big malls.
It's a big mall.
But a theater in a mall is not a big mall.
It doesn't make it a big mall. It just makes it a mall. That's not true.s. It's a big mall. But a theater in a mall is not a big mall. It doesn't make it a big mall.
It just makes it a mall. That's not true.
True. That's very normal.
I go to so many malls that don't have a movie theater.
If you don't go to the right ones, then...
I mean, all of the malls in New York
except for the Palisades don't have a fucking movie theater.
I'm saying it's a suburb.
Most malls are in the suburbs.
These are in the suburbs!
These are in the suburbs of New York!
No, I don't think so. I don't think so.
I would venture to guess that
95% of
malls have movie theaters.
Of actual malls.
Not around here. And not like a
fucking multiplex like yours.
Like when I went to the King of Prussia mall in Pennsylvania,
yeah, sure, that was the biggest mall in the country.
This one's like top 10.
Those are gonna have it. Those are going to have it.
Those are going to have fucking...
What are those called?
Ferris wheels.
Escalators.
Ferris wheels.
Ferris wheels?
Yeah.
Ferris wheels?
Yeah.
That has a Ferris wheel.
King of Russia does?
No, the one we were just winning.
It's too big.
I didn't see it at all, but...
It's a big mall!
I never said the mall was small.
I said theaters aren't crazy. I said theaters aren't crazy.
I said theaters don't make it a big mall.
A hockey rink makes it a big mall.
It's a huge mall.
It's a big mall.
We're on the same page.
We're agreeing.
We're escalating and yelling at each other louder despite agreeing with each other.
That's the show.
That's how KMC Radio works.
You asshole.
Pour yourself some New Amsterdam vodka, John.
Take that edge off.
It's been a long day.
We've been at work for like seven hours this work week, and it's too much.
Too much to handle.
I had to get up at a regular time this morning.
It was bullshit.
I woke up at 6 a.m., and I puked.
Yeah, we'll talk about it.
But what I need when I'm struggling to get through the work week,
it's a little New Amsterdam vodka.
When I want to have a nice after work cocktail, it's New Amsterdam vodka.
But I'm watching a game.
Whatever I'm doing, it's New Amsterdam vodka.
Anytime you want to have a vodka drink, which is my drink of choice,
my liquor of choice, it's a little Navi.
It's smooth and quality while still being affordable.
It's the official vodka of Barstool.
It's the official vodka of Chicklets.
It's the official vodka of NHL.
It's five times distilled, unparalleled smoothness, crisp, clean.
New Amsterdam vodka, the official vodka of Barstool Sports.
Thank you, sir.
Let's hear what this puke says.
You had a weekend cold i i i had yes the equivalent of that of parenting instead of like a partying cocaine binge i had children all weekend long
it was keegan's birthday the big 04 uh i had him all weekend long and Oh, yeah, Keegan thinks I'm his dad now.
Yes.
John sent a happy birthday video, and I'm, like, in front of Keegan.
I'm like, look at this.
And he goes, is that daddy?
I'm like, no, motherfucker.
I'm daddy.
Right here.
Still me.
You dumbass.
Is he saying we look alike?
No, I think he, like, I don't know what he thought.
His brain just short-circuited. Oh, so he's just an infant or something? Yeah, just a he like I don't know what he's on. His brain just short circuited.
Oh, so he's just an infant or something? Just a fucking four year old?
Is that daddy?
You idiot.
I'm better looking than that. He's ugly.
Look how fat his head is, you dumb shit.
Have you seen your dad's skinny head?
He's got a skinny head.
But so
the first day was so saturday we went to ride playland which is a
yeah you have it yeah we did uh the devour like food games the hockey we used to drink there oh
yeah so but so uh but you didn't do like the amusement park no no so we like the music it's
like a second rate third rate you know
tiny amusement park and they have a kid's section and it was 95 and hot as fuck and i just a lot of
asphalt though to cool down oh it's like the concrete jungle to the max they did have those
nfl like misters there's one part where there's like mist shooting out oh i was like let's just hang here for a while kids that felt great um i mean i just don't do those things anymore like if it's that
hot i'm like my kids were like i come up with indoor shit you know like i just don't do build
a fort yeah like all that kind of shit so but it was a big birthday celebration so we go and i mean
all of us and kids i've learned just don't feel temperature hot or cold they just and i remember
that as a kid like i would play like football and basketball till like my hands were frozen and it
just didn't matter and at the beach and in the summer like you're dehydrating and about to like
pass out and fun to go play like football and snowstorms right now it's like put on a t-shirt
i never in a million years would and so i'm like literally feeling like ill i'm pouring water on my head i'm sweating
i i mean just awful so i go we go do that for a while and uh and then and then i think like okay
that was the big like thing for the weekend and then the next day that actually his actual birthday
that was the day before so his actual birthday was sunday so stupid me thinking like his actual
birthday wasn't going to be as big of a deal, but we needed to do some fun shit there.
So we go to the park and it's the same thing again.
And so does he know it's his birthday?
Very, very little.
Like he doesn't quite get it yet.
He's dopey.
He's just like, whatever, dude, where are my presents?
And I guess all weekend I was like kind of sunburned, very dehydrated, not eating right.
Like stuff in like amusement park water, amusement park food and shit in my mouth.
That'll do it right.
And then I, instead of consuming 3G responsibly, I over-served myself, I think.
And so here is my scientific thought.
This is my Jackie thought for the day.
I think, because this has happened to me before.
If I smoke too much weed or eat too many edibles, I throw up in the morning.
And I think what happens.
How often does this happen to you?
Probably half a dozen times.
Because I am a high school child when it comes to weed and THC type products.
And I get the munchies like a fucking
like an idiot.
It's so cliche but I can't help it.
I can eat literally everything in sight.
My brain
is telling me that I eat too much
food and I get too high
and it stops the digestive
processes in my stomach
because when I throw up the next morning,
it is like I just ate it two seconds ago.
It's like full mini muffins, full buffalo chicken,
full cereal, whatever it is that I just had.
Together?
Actually, no, I'm not joking.
Yeah, maybe.
But it comes out like it just went in.
I'm like, my stomach has just been doing nothing for 12 hours.
You just did it into a bowl.
You could just eat it again if you wanted.
Almost.
If there wasn't like other bodily fluids in there, I could just eat it straight back.
And I think that.
Oh, fuck.
Is that a hot dog?
Yes.
If I somehow could have swallowed those things whole,
they would have been right there for the taking.
And so I woke up at 6, and I was like, oh, this sucks.
But I was like, I don't want to puke right now.
So I laid back down, being like, I'm just going to lay in bed.
I'm just going to, like, breathe deep, put on the air conditioner,
like, cool off.
And then I was like, oh, it's coming.
So I just puked my brains out.
Like, blood coming out. At 6 a.m. this morning? Yes. Yes. Boy, oh, it's coming. So I just puked my brains out. Like blood coming out.
At 6 a.m. this morning?
Yes.
Yes.
Boy, oh, boy.
And I went back to sleep until like 8.
I didn't puke, but I was up at 6 a.m.
That sucked.
I can't believe people do that.
It's crazy.
You were up at what?
I was up at like 6 a.m.
Like 5.30, I think.
Did you go to bed early?
No, because I was on shore.
I had to be here for an 11 a.m. interview.
So I took a ferry here.
It was an 8 a.m. ferry. And I took a ferry here. It's an 8 a.m. ferry.
And that took a little bit of a drive.
Well, that was silly of you.
It was a Zoom interview.
Yeah, I know.
But I wanted to be here.
I know.
I mean, it is better to be here.
It was a full day.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, getting up early.
It's for the birds, man.
It's not.
It's one of the most.
I don't understand why people just get a new job.
Well, I will say, COVID has kind of stopped this and it might be going
back.
Like everything else in the world is going back to normal.
So I suspect that like work hours will do.
Yeah.
But during the pandemic, like, I mean, I used to get up.
I used to when I was still with Caitlin, she would go to she would get to work.
I used to get to the office working at Barstool Sports at like 730 in the morning.
That is nuts.
When we first moved here?
Yes, when we first had the first office.
Because Caitlin would get up at like 5
to get ready
and everything before the kids got up at like 6.
And we would get on like a
654 train
or something like that. Which we'd get to the city
at like 7.30. So maybe I got to the office like a little
before 8. Because I was just like she needed to be to the city at like 7 30 so maybe i got to the office like a little before eight and because i was just like she needed to be like at her office by like
7 30 janitors here yeah and it was like and i guess i would go home early but i don't know i
just remember i just remember like this is terrible and i don't and i don't need to do this but it was
like then then like we'd have to take two trips to the train station and the nanny was getting the
kid it was just yeah it was but it was one of those things that like i probably should have just been like
no because i was like miserable going to work at like six in the morning just because like someone
else had to go to work at six in the morning you know remember be like this is not my job this is
your job why am i doing this so i remember it was just that's the type of shit no joke will kill you
that's what makes you miserable amongst other things you have a shitty boss you have a shitty like work that you have to do but the the hours and the timing in the
morning will make you want to kill yourself when i was dating the girl who actually who dumped me
uh with the bar and the crying the whole shebang i like i could tell that dumping was coming for a
while because whenever i'd sleep over her house which was like basically every night because i
lived with lewis and gas um she's just like she'd leave like she'd leave in the morning and she'd be like so
you're just gonna like not it's not gonna work yet and I was like no we have we have different
jobs you can go to the office I'm gonna fucking stay here until noon I just be like fat and
shirtless in bed she's like I'm being productive Anything you want to do? I was like, I don't know. Can I have the remote?
Before you leave, can you bring the clicker over?
Love you, babe. Just this fat
asshole in her bed.
See you at work for our healthy, thriving relationship.
Can't wait to see you later, babe.
Yeah, that'll do it.
I just see you look and I'm like,
she's going to dump me soon.
You know what that is, though?
That's jealousy. You know what that is, though?
That's jealousy.
You didn't do anything wrong.
You just keep different hours.
And maybe it wasn't the most attractive thing in the moment. Not a great visual.
That was the problem.
If I was hotter?
If you were sexy in bed and were like, I don't have to go to work till 11, bitch.
Had one fucking leg hanging out with like a six pack.
Yeah, you could do whatever you want.
Instead of just a translucent fucking meat man out here.
That's what my legs look like.
They're like big fat fucking meat mans.
And then a couple of tits up here.
It's a whole thing.
Yeah, you could have been getting up at six in the morning.
She doesn't want to see any of it.
All of it's gruesome.
And getting up to fight crime.
And just being like, oh, God.
I don't think I want that fucking moose around me forever.
Why are you bringing it up with me?
Well, you remind me of a moose.
You're a moose.
Yikes.
I actually feel like if you wanted to dump me, what girls should do is, it's easy, by the way.
I accept it pretty quickly.
But like, remember when Hasselhoff's kid recorded him drunk? Yes. me what girls should do is it's easy by the way i accept it pretty quickly um but like everyone
when hasselhoff's kid recorded him drunk yes to be like this is what it is right right just record
me while i'm sleeping just that's a good idea this is why i'm leaving right and you would have
to be like okay gross yeah i totally get it yeah i mean john's trying to leave himself
john if he could relieve himself on this planet yeah that anybody legitimately i i can't i cannot believe you must be an incredible lover when
you're awake no it must be great otherwise because when you are asleep it's absolutely
enough it could be true fucking love it could be absolutely perfect and i would be like it breaks
my heart but we have to break up this isn't gonna work or i guess you just you would just have to
be those couples who sleep in different rooms.
Yeah.
In like apartments.
But you have to get to the house.
You've got to put you on like the roof. Because you'll hear me.
I mean, your neighbors must hear you.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
It's disgusting.
Have you ever heard yourself?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah?
People have recorded it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So you do know how that is.
You know, I stole that idea.
No, but there was a dumb thing. But it was was just like this is what you sound like at night
can you believe that people have sex with that
that somebody
blows you
that's disgusting
lots of people have blown me
I know
it's crazy
many many
dozens yeah dozens I know. It's crazy. Many, many.
Dozens.
Yeah, dozens.
Which was the highlight of our live show, by the way.
You've got to come out to the show to see everything,
but the one thing we did, we were like,
we've got to tell this on the regular show.
We got a voicemail.
Actually, do you want to play the voicemail?
Do you have it, or should I just recap it?
Just recap it.
Voicemail of the show last week.
This dude made a bet with his buddy.
And can you look this up?
Can you get me his latest?
He's hitting 264 last night.
I saw you do that.
Tommy Pham of the San Diego Padres. If Tommy Pham bats 300 this season, this guy has to suck his friend's
dick.
And he was
batting, I think at that point, he was batting
like 230 or something.
And at the moment, he's
batting... 271? No, wait,
that's his career. So he's batting 260.
No, that is his year.
Wait, is it? Yeah.
So right now, he is batting 271.
Yo, he's a career 273 hitter.
You can't fucking bet a sucking a dick for the first time on a career 273 hitter having a pretty solid season.
I mean, well, to bat 300, it would be – I mean, that's a big year.
It's a big year, but it's not –
But it's not – yeah, it's not outside the realm of possibility.
273 is – Yeah, all right. He i think at the time he was batting like 230 or something
he started off really slow and i want to say he's just been like you know 30 40 points later
is now batting 271 and so i mean the tommy fam watch to me is the most electric thing in all sports.
I cannot.
Wait.
I want to film this dude suck his friend's dick.
Like, I want to be present for it. I said, if we can somehow, by the grace of God, go into game 162 batting 299.999
and all he needs is like a base knock and we electric chair these two guys.
Or even better. They're if we i kind of want
it to be uh ted williams style he's above it we're choosing to lose it was four he was 400
the day of yeah and he had a double header double header and he went nuts i think about six or eight
yeah yeah so i like if i want to see him get, like, it's 299.
He gets, like, a base hit to put him at, like, 300.
But he has, like, two or three more at bats.
And you know that kid.
Well, and then comes the funny part of the bet.
Because I was going to say the dude on the 300 side of things would be like, take him out, take him out.
Defensive replacement.
Or would you?
Because you want to get your dick sucked by your friend.
And the only thing we don't know, and we should, can we call these guys back?
Yeah, I'm going to find it.
I'm looking right now.
Okay, if we can, let's call these guys back.
Because what we do need to find out is if there's the other side of the bet.
Is it like you have to suck my dick if he bats under 300?
Right, right.
Because really then, you're not the winner.
What if it was just the other kid's idea?
It's just like his way.
His friend's like, okay, dude.
He's like, hey, Tommy Pham is doing this year.
I'll suck your dick.
He's like, okay.
All right.
He's batting 230.
Okay, dude, whatever.
He's like, hey, Tommy's at 276 now.
Right.
Great, man.
I mean, that's almost, yeah, that guy just wants to like just come out of the closet.
Yeah.
This is his very elaborate way of saying I'm attracted to you on a date.
Tommy Pham.
Do we get a number?
Give me a second.
Okay.
While Nick looks for that, if we're talking about coming out of the closet,
Luke Prokop became the first NHL player to come out.
Yes.
And I texted you. Yep. And I texted you.
Yep.
And I texted Ryan Whitney.
Yeah.
And I asked John and Ryan,
can I say this?
Because I have been,
they're trying to put me in a cage, John.
The man's trying to hold me down.
They put me in shackles after my Nigeria tweet.
And I've been told
that I can't make jokes of that nature anymore.
So I'm trying to navigate this new world
and I thought
what I had was a very
funny tweet.
It's just an accurate tweet.
What did Whitney say?
I said the same exact thing to both of you.
I said, can I say this? And he said, no, I wouldn't.
But it is true though.
And you said it's hilarious and accurate but you'll probably get in trouble yeah yeah so i my tweet i had it
written out i mean my my while driving i was driving into work today tweeting that out and i
said um listen all hockey players are a little bit gay luke pro cop is just fully it was and i mean
i i spot the lie.
I think if you add, because I gave you a little like a note where I said,
if you said, but congrats to Luke for coming out fully there.
Yeah, to add a little positive spin to it. Like a little positive in there.
But it is like, yeah, I mean, all hockey players are gay.
You guys are all so gay.
And so what do you think, do you think that is a good locker room
or a bad locker room to come out in?
In general, not his team.
I mean, like in the sport.
Do you think it makes it easier or more difficult that everyone's a little bit gay?
I would guess easier.
Yeah, I would think so, too.
I was just wondering if it's kind of like, you know, if you are going to be like an asshole about it, would you be like, oh, well, now you want to suck my wrench?
You know?
Yeah, you'll probably get some of that.
I would think it's all
through love and
friendship and camaraderie. I would guess that hockey
players, I think all, I think
in professional sports,
you're going to get assholes,
bad people, deeply religious
people, people who are against it. Well, that's what I think
the twist in hockey is. Not very religious.
No one from the South. Right. Like, yeah, I'm sure there are some religious people, no doubt. it. That's what I think the twist in hockey is. Not very religious. Not from the South.
I'm sure there are some religious people, no doubt.
But it's not like baseball and football it seems like where most of the players are Southerners.
Where they were raised in very religious communities.
I mean,
I don't know, but in
baseball, there's a lot of
praying to God after a home run
and a lot of post-game football.
I just want to thank God. You just don't hear it in hockey.
You're just not religious guys.
You've got a lot of Canadians.
You've got a lot of Russian guys, international.
But you just don't hear about Jesus.
You don't hear about –
No one thanks God for scoring a game-winning goal.
No.
Right.
Thank Jesus for putting that puck on my stick.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I did it.
So that's obviously – I'm sure there's religious people,
but it's all stereotypical generalizing. But I think that it's probably like the best – I could see a bunch of guys just being like, whatever.
Whatever, Lukey.
Whatever, Prokey.
Some fucking stupid nickname they have for him and they're just like, okay, cool, man.
Whatever.
Let's get back out there.
I do think – and I think in football there's an element of it too where it's like you like you're putting your body on the line, your life is on the line, so nobody really cares.
Yeah, I feel like it's almost like...
It's like we're brothers at war, basically.
I was going to say similar to military.
Yeah, whatever.
I feel like people get worked up about that when there's a new female Marine or something like that, and they're like, could she...
Could she pull her weight?
It's like, you're a fucking fat dude.
She's tougher than you, I promise you.
Anyone who's actually serving with her is like,
no, we're good.
I don't think you ever hear active people,
active military members be like,
can she fucking...
It's always some fat slob like me being like,
I don't think she can fucking do push-ups or whatever.
It's like, what?
So I think that it would be a good thing.
What team is he on?
Nashville. He's not on Nashville. He's a Nashville prospect.
He's not an active NHL player.
That's ballsy to
unfortunately, ballsy to like
it's technically a risk.
You know what I mean? Where you think this might fuck my chance
off of making a club.
He also was, I think he was like
a fifth round pick? Maybe a seventh round pick? He's not like I don't know how he's also was, I think he was like a fifth-round pick,
maybe a seventh-round pick.
He's not like a – I don't know how he's doing now,
but he wasn't like a top pick.
Right, right, right. So he might not make the league anyway.
I don't know.
But, yeah, I'm –
I would think it's going to be – it would be easy –
the easiest sport to come out – this is going to sound like nonsense.
The easiest and the hardest because i think everyone's
gonna be very accepting but also i think everyone's gonna want to make jokes yeah well that's what
they're already gay like we're already whipping our helicopter to our dicks around now we got to
do it and be like well are we allowed to do this or like i don't know whatever like it it's like
uh it almost it's like we want to just make like gay straight jokes. Now they're like gay, gay jokes.
Is that okay?
Are we allowed,
dude?
I hope,
I hope that he,
it would be different if he already was on a team,
but if he walked in and it was kind of like crickets and then he was just like,
what's up boy?
And it's like,
okay,
we're good.
We're still good.
Um,
but,
uh,
anyway,
just,
just, just pretend that I sent that tweet, and it's really fucking funny.
Good tweet, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Just tweet at me and be like, good tweet, bro.
Good tweet.
That'll make me feel like I got those retweets off.
We got a number?
We got a number.
Check, check.
Can you hear us?
Yes, I can.
This is Alex.
Alex, what's up, dude?
Not much, man. Just tickling. How are you doing?
We're good. So last Thursday night, we used your Tommy Pham voicemail for our live show.
Oh, no way. Legendary.
Legendary.
To say the least, man. We didn't know it was coming.
Nick screened it and made
like a little video to put up on on the big screen so we reacted the same way you know in real time
the same way the audience did and i gotta tell you it's like my favorite voicemail ever we now
are gonna put uh we're gonna put tommy fam watch out there and we're just going to like watch him like a hawk all season long to see if he can reach
uh 300 so which give me a little bit background of like how this happened what the circumstances
were and which side are you on you if you get your dick sucked if he bats 300 or you have to
do the dick sucking no so uh i will be getting my dick sucked. Okay. That's what makes it so incredible.
Okay.
So you guys are sitting around one day,
and your buddy brings it up, or you bring it up?
How does it all come about?
So with diehard Padre fans, he's my best friend.
He's also my roommate.
We watch every single one of the games.
Dude, we made the trade for Tommy Pham,
and he's been kind of frustrated for us as a San Diego Padre and i've always tried to be an optimist i'm like dude just
wait just wait and then he's with tommy fans about like 219 220 and my buddy's just losing it he's
like man fuck tommy fan this dude's absolute trash i'm like dude come on bro you got it and then my
buddy just losing he goes dude i will suck your dick if he bats over 300.
And me, as a guy, I mean, I'm a betting dude.
And if someone's going to offer you a free blowjob,
I mean, there's nothing that you have to do on the alternate side.
So that was my question.
It's not like if he bats $299 this year, you've got to suck his dick.
It's just like you either get a blowjob or not or nothing.
Yeah, it's BJ or nothing, man.
I can't wait.
And so he's raised his average like 50 points in the meantime, right?
Bro, literally the day we made the bet, I think he went like three for four.
And ever since then, he's been on a tear.
He's batting over 270. He's hitting 271 currently.
He's got some work.
I mean, we're almost in August, and he's got to raise his average like 25 points.
But if he's already raised it like 50 that means he's
batting if you throw out the first chunk of the season where he's batting 219 he's probably batting
like 330 right now to even make it come close so i think you and frank needed to do a bet like this
for lindor oh my god i promise you this i don't care if it's the bet is the sun will come up
tomorrow i'm not betting anything where i have to suck Frank Fleming's dick.
Okay?
Because that is just – you just don't – I said a couple years ago if Pete Alonso goes for 50 and 120, I will come myself and jump off a bridge.
He promptly broke the rookie home run record and did just that.
I still have Mets fans yelling at me that I need to come myself and jump off a bridge or they're never going to win the World Series.
So anytime you're making a bet involving coming or sucking you know you're rolling the dice but i guess so so first of all alex if there's a chance if somehow uh like game 162
he's batting like 299 or even if he's above 300 but it's right there we we want to do an electric
chair with you guys we want because it would be unbelievable watching this guy if he's above 300 but it's right there we we want to do an electric chair with you guys
we want because it would be unbelievable watching this guy because he's a Padres fan so maybe maybe
who knows maybe there's like a division on the line or you maybe you want to win but also at
the same time you don't want Tommy family get a hit because then you gotta suck your friend's dick
so there's a lot of different dramatic storylines to be had there so we want to uh we want to do an
electric chair if that's possible.
But also, here's the million-dollar question.
Are you rooting for Tommy Pham to bat 300?
100%.
So you want to get your dick sucked by your friend?
I have to.
I have to have to let it happen, man.
I have to.
There's no other way around it.
Bro, I completely agree with you like because you
gotta teach him you can't welch on a bet you made a bet you lost you gotta suck a dick it's like the
reverse of welching it's like well i gotta honor this bet yeah you're the you're the you're to the
victor go to spoils but the spoils are kind of weird because it's gonna be your friend's mouth
like you say the spoils are your friend's mouth so do you think you would even get hard
for your friend to suck your dick i don't know i think it's one of those situations where you
just close your eyes and just put yourself into a different zone mouth to mouth dude my fucking
my hope is actually that you kind of can't like you're drunk oh but this guy struggles
what i want you got a blow job not not my dick in your mouth alex what's your friend's name If this guy struggles. But you make him go through it. What I want to see is.
You better blow job.
Not my dick in your mouth.
Alex, what's your friend's name?
Carlos.
I want Carlos to have a soft dick in his mouth.
I want him to be trying to get you hard.
Trying to get you to cum.
Jackie's disgusted right now.
Just fucking pulling it like it's gum.
And I want Alex to be like, a little more, it's almost there
I'll get there
I'll get there
Oh my god almighty
This is fucking
Forget about Shohei Otani
Forget about the rest of Slam Diego
The storyline of the year right now
Is Tommy Pham
I will promise you this I will now is Tommy Pham. And I will promise
you this. I will make sure Tommy Pham
knows about this. Oh yeah, we need to get Tommy Pham to the
point that like come September, every
at-bat, he's like, boy, Carlos is
fucked. I am dialed in, dude.
Or every time he pops up, he's like, fuck,
I'm doing, you know, Alex is not going to get his dick sucked.
Tommy Pham is going to find out about this and whether
or not he wants to admit it, it's going to be in the back of his head
every at-bat.
This is one of the better storylines ever.
So, Alex, we will be keeping up Tommy Pham watch.
This is some real-time, like, grow-the-game stuff.
Yes.
Yes.
I want it to get to a point where, like, that fucking asshole Jeff Passan has to cover it.
And according to several outlets, Tommy Pham, I mean, the potential is through the roof.
So keep us updated and let us know what Carlos is thinking.
And we'll keep up on Tommy Pham watch.
And come September, if there's a chance for some real dramatics, we'll have you guys do an electric chair, right?
Oh, absolutely, man.
Thanks for everything, guys.
Go Padres.
You got it, man.
Go Tommy.
Thanks for everything, guys. Go Padres. You got it, man. Go Tommy. Thanks for everything.
We ain't doing shit.
You guys are just sucking each other's dick.
Oh, my God.
It's amazing.
All right.
Let's get into top fives today.
Completely switching gears here.
Just because it popped up on our timeline.
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Let me, real
quick, just
on the fly here.
Quick phone call. Yeah, quick phone call.
We'll see if he answers.
Big Daddy's not the type to answer, but we'll see what Trent's got in store.
He's probably like, fuck you.
He really, the man just does not, if he doesn't want to talk or text, he just doesn't do it.
I know, he's a hero.
It's amazing.
Oh, what's up?
Big Daddy, what's up, man?
First of all, yes, the Henry Golding video is hilarious.
I can't believe Instagram took it down because it's my balls.
So how can you take down my balls?
That's bullshit, man.
Secondly, we're on the podcast right now,
and we got to talk about this sweet and sour sauce thing, man.
I've never seen it.
Let me see this here.
What do you think about it?
It's really good.
It's delicious.
Are you fucking kidding me? So it's good. It's delicious. Are you fucking kidding me?
So it's sweet and it's sour. That's good.
I just never seen it.
I think this is a bit.
It's not a bit. I always get barbecue sauce in my chicken nuggets.
I always get mustard. What's this ketchup thing?
I can't believe this.
I've just never had it I've just never had it.
I've never had it.
Yeah.
It's beside every, every, every place in the world.
Wendy's.
Barbecue.
It's out.
I get barbecue sauce with my chicken nuggets.
That's it.
That's the end of the story.
Your story has just been rewritten, my friend.
Okay.
Because I'd actually like to talk about it because I'd like to clear a few things up.
Please do.
All right.
So I know what sweet and sour sauce is.
Okay.
The way it was – wait, let me – so the way this was posed on Instagram was Frankie was like,
I was eating my Chicken McNuggets, dipping them in sweet and sour sauce, and Trent said to me,
what is that?
Like as if you had like – like you were from a different planet and had never seen this. of chicken McNuggets, dipping them in sweet and sour sauce. And Trent said to me, what is that?
Like, as if you had like, like you were from a different planet and had never seen this.
So, yeah, please clarify.
All right.
So, yeah, we were at the airport.
I had walked to the gate.
We were on a connecting flight.
We were in Chicago.
We're headed back to New York City.
I walked straight to the gate.
Didn't stop to get any food.
Frankie stopped at McDonald's to get food, walked walked to the gate sat down at a table with his chicken nuggets and his fries and he took the top off of the sweet and sour sauce it was just an
open sauce container i walked over to him and i took a chicken nugget i took a took a fry and i
ate that i didn't dip it in the sauce but i looked down at the sauce and i said what is that so
looking at the sauce without the top on it,
just looking down on it, I didn't recognize it.
I've never got McDonald's sweet and sour sauce.
I just get the barbecue every single time.
So I looked down and I said, what is that?
And he's like, brah, brah, brah.
Yeah, Frankie, short of maybe me overreacting
about dumb things, Frankie is like the number one guy
in the world you don't want to make this mistake with.
What do you mean you don't know
I'm trying to travel around? I'm going to kill myself.
It was already like a horrific travel
day and now I'm on trial because
he thinks I don't know what sweet and sour is.
So wait, McDonald's... In reality,
I just didn't see what it was.
Right, right. Then our guy
Avery started taking the video and at one point
I sarcastically say
and it didn't land at all. I go, oh, it's sweet and it's sour, I sarcastically say, and it didn't
land at all.
I go, oh, it's sweet and it's sour.
I get it.
And people thought that I was like, I don't know what sweet and sour sauce is when I was
just being sarcastic.
And then, like you're saying, it turns into a whole thing, and Frankie had tweeted about
it before I even knew what was happening.
I think it was a setup.
Like, you knew it was coming.
So, wait. There's barbecue, sweet and sour, and then is there a third? I think it was a setup like you knew it was coming so wait
there's barbecue
sweet and sour
and then is there
isn't there a third
isn't there three main sauces
let me make that up
McDonald's?
yeah
between the hot mustard and
yeah but that
that's actually
that's very good
but that's
would you say hot or honey?
hot mustard
oh I think honey mustard's up there too
honey mustard might be up there
but my thing
I still might give you a hard time
because if you're at
if you know someone's eating McDonald's and the sauce is not the brown barbecue sauce, it's sweet and sour.
Yeah, I mean –
You still should probably know that.
And the other ones – I'm looking at them now.
There is honey mustard, hot mustard, habanero ranch, tangy barbecue, creamy ranch, spicy buffalo, sweet and sour.
Those – all the other ones you can basically throw out.
It's honey mustard, sweet and sour, and barbecue. Maybe I'd allow you to mix up honey mustard and sweet and sour. Those, all the other ones you can basically throw out. It's honey mustard, sweet and sour, and barbecue.
Maybe I'd allow you to mix up honey mustard and sweet and sour,
but for the most part, you've got to know that sweet and sour sauce.
It just really didn't look like it.
Like, the sweet and sour that I'm used to is the sweet and sour that comes with crab rangoons,
and it's got that, like, orange-ish look to it.
And for whatever reason, from above, it didn't look like it,
and then I just didn't know what it was.
But I know what sweet and sour is.
The narrative really got away from me because then Coley's tweeting about it
and Clem's tweeting about it.
And I just wanted to be like, I know what it is.
I just didn't know what it was visually when I looked at it.
I got you.
But it is crazy that I'm actually kind of on your side.
I'm not a huge sweet and sour guy.
Oh, I think it's the best sauce.
It's hands down the best sauce.
I actually just recently got into it.
You know what?
The hot mustard, wildly underrated.
Literally never heard of it until 30 seconds ago.
Wildly underrated if you put – I also – here's a take for you.
I don't like Chicken McNuggets.
I like nuggets from other places.
I think the McNuggets have a weird thing to them that weirds me out.
You want to hear something that's just downright psychopathic?
Yeah.
One of my best friends, a person you know, they get Chicken McNuggets like 20 packs and they peel the skin off.
That's crazy, but the skin is the problem.
It's weird skin.
Really?
It's weird skin.
It's different skin.
It's different than Wendy's.
It might be different.
Wendy's Chicken Nuggets are far and away the best fast food Chicken Nuggets. McNuggets are fine, but Wendy nuggets Are far and away The best fast food chicken nuggets
McNuggets are fine
But Wendy's are far and away the best
Wendy's might just be
Some of the best chicken period
Forget about fast food
They're just delicious chicken
For sure
Yeah
Now if you get the chicken strips
And shit
Remember the selects
Yeah
I don't know if those exist anymore
But
See that's my point
There was a different type of chicken
That's different than the McNuggets
And it's different for a reason
Because it's better
These are the McNuggets Isn't that like the pink paste Wasn't that it's better. Is it the McNuggets? Isn't that like the
pink paste? Wasn't that the thing that... It was.
I think they have since changed that, but I don't know.
Which is a lie. Which means they stopped letting
fucking news cameras into their factories.
Yes, exactly. They were like, we just gotta hide this better.
Yeah, we fixed it. We fixed it. Alright, well, I just wanted to clear that up.
How are... I think we were on
episode 6 of Breaking 100
most recently?
Yeah, we're on episode six and then episode
seven will air on thursday it's uh it's me and frankie playing at a place called village of
sands point out on long island so if you want to check that out it'll be on foreplay youtube it'll
be on partial sports.com we're just moving we're moving ahead we're trying to break 100 and that's
that's just the goal can i tell you something i think it was saturday night maybe friday night i forget one night i got i don't know why i'm
talking to the mic you're not in the mic uh but the uh the friday saturday night i got pretty drunk
and i had a dream that night that you broke 100 with me for the first time and i broke 100 because
i've i don't i don't even play Yeah. And it was the two of us.
We both did it together.
We might have to do that.
That might have to be.
It might be the secret sauce.
It might be the sweet and sour, baby.
Sweet and sour, dude.
I think, you know what my nightmare for you would be?
First of all, if you haven't watched Breaking 100 yet, go watch episode five first and watch the bunker incident.
Because the bunker incident is like a scene from a movie.
You know when people talk about bone tomahawk where they chop the guy in half?
And they're like, you know that scene?
I'm out. I'm going home.
You know what you guys should have done?
Reaction videos like Two Girl, One Cup.
Have bunker incident reaction videos to people just being horrified by what happened.
So go watch that, episode five.
What would happen?
What if you broke a hundred,
but like with no cameras and in unofficial capacity,
somehow,
some way that would suck.
Well,
no,
that would suck.
And that's why we're filming every single round.
Every time you play.
Yeah.
Like,
even if it's not like,
if somebody invites you out and they're like,
uh,
yeah,
you can like,
you can come do it,
but it's a very exclusive club,
but you can't, so you can't bring cameras. I i'd be like i'm not playing yeah because that would be
the day you break 100 or you make them film you the whole time yeah with the camera yeah
we're at the point now where he has to film every round that i play and it's
a little it's like almost a trap because i bet if i played just normally like me and frankie a
couple other guys you'd be better It's just a relaxed day.
I'd probably shoot like a 93.
Yeah.
I was in all the cameras around the pressure.
We have to film it.
If the pressure gets ramped up,
my heartbeat goes up and I end up sometimes not doing it,
but we have to film it around because like you're saying,
it's a nightmare.
If I break it,
there's no camera.
I got,
I have faith.
I think a episode,
I'm going to call it now.
Episode.
What would you shoot last time?
105.
Oh, boy.
All right, he's close.
And episode five was like 103 or 104.
I'm going to go episode, you're going to backslide in a week or two,
and then you're going to do episode nine.
Oh, you're doing that early.
It's coming.
It's coming.
It's coming.
It's definitely coming.
It's coming soon, so people should check it out. It's fun. It's a fun thing's coming. It's definitely coming. It's coming soon, so people should check it out.
It's fun.
It's a fun thing to do.
Me and Frankie just go out and we try to do it, but it's coming.
It's coming soon.
Trent, if I could make a suggestion, delay it a bit.
Oh, you want to milk this?
I want to get free vacations in the winter.
Get through the winter.
That's true.
Wouldn't that be the ultimate boondoggle if Trent could actually shoot like 89 and he's just like out here hacking away?
Yeah, like think about it.
If you fucking break it in August on fucking Long Island, people would have been sick to be in the Bahamas in December.
Yeah, and you got to get these views, dog.
You got to keep growing the brand.
It's funny because I was worried.
So I went down and trained with John Tillery, who's my swing coach, down in Georgia for the first episode.
And after I got done down there, I was like, I have the tools to do it.
And I was worried that I was going to do it after the first episode or the second episode.
And then as soon as I did those episodes, I was like, this could last until 2022.
It's one thing to know everything and know how to do everything right.
It's far, far different.
To do it.
It's far more difficult to go out and know how to do everything right, it's far, far different. To do it. It's far more difficult to go out and execute it, so
it could be a while or it could be the next episode.
Who knows? Alright, keep it up
and we'll talk to you soon.
Alright, man. Later, bro.
Alright, top fives.
Today is top five
SNL
cast members. I was going to say characters, but no.
Cast members. Who has the first pick? It's huge. It's me. That say characters, but no. Cast members.
Who has the first pick?
It's huge.
It's me.
That's bullshit, but okay.
No, it is.
It was because you three last time was fucked for the top five.
You're right.
You are right.
Okay.
But also, I don't think it's huge because I don't think I'm going to take who you're
going to take.
Okay.
Although now I want to take who you're going to take.
So I'm trying to think who you would take.
I actually put myself in a pretzel, so I don't know who I'm going to take.
I thought I had one in mind,
and then you said that, and I was like,
wait a minute, maybe it's not as clear cut, but now I don't know
who you think I'm going to take.
Fuck, we're both fucked.
Okay.
So I am going to go...
Oh, people are going to hate this so bad.
So I'm a...
SNL was a thing me and my dad did in the 90s it
was like when i was growing up it was i got to stay up late watch snl that was like my reward for
failing out of school um and i think so i so those are obviously all about the nostalgia those are
all my characters and let's also say there there are certain like legends of snl in the comedy
world that people how did you not pick this?
And it's like, I don't know, man. I just didn't watch that
season or those episodes or whatever, so fuck off.
But yeah.
Alright.
Okay, and this is
not... This dude is laboring
over this. It's hard because people are going to get
very... These are going to be
the meanest... Someone's going to call me the N-word if I have the wrong tweet.
These are the kind of things where I'm going to be like,
my favorite SNL member is this, and they're going to be like,
you cheated on your wife, you fucking loser!
Dude, I just like that skit, man.
Sorry.
Okay.
Okay.
I'm going to go Farley.
Because I can't miss pick.
I will be honest.
I wanted to go someone else, but I'm going that way, so you don't call me the N-word.
So I was going to go with something else that I'm going to go with, and then Farley crept into my head.
I was like, oh, wait a minute.
I got to think about Chris Farley.
There is no shame in the number one pick being Chris Farley, by the way.
No.
No shame in that game.
The only reason I wouldn't, except my number one pick, and my pick here is Will Ferrell.
That was going to be my pick, but I switched it because of you.
You son of a bitch!
And I almost switched it because you got it to my head.
No!
Because.
I'll trade you one for one.
Nope.
Nope.
I'm going Will Ferrell because here's the thing.
Chris Farley, motivational speaker, all that shit,
living in a van down by the river, Schlitz beer.
Actually, that's him going through it.
Maybe it is the better pick.
But when I think – my favorite parts of Chris Farley are his movies.
I don't know. Actually, now as I'm thinking about it.
He's got some classics.
My point is going to be, I think
Chris Farley was good, great
at SNL, and then he did Tommy Boy
and he did his movies that were even better.
Whereas, I think you can make the argument that Will Ferrell's
Old School was
my favorite, and he did a lot
of movies, but a lot of them are kind of like duds.
I think Will Ferrell's SNL shit is at him him at his best i drive a dodge stratus like he has some moments i
think we're probably peak will farrell where i think peak farley might have actually come in the
movies i don't know i mean as i start to did you did you have best of like did you like the dvds
yeah oh that's when you start to just rattle through their best skits all in a row.
It's like, oh, I forgot about that.
Oh, I forgot about that.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, that one.
And then all of a sudden.
So that's what I'm thinking about with Chris Farley now.
I'm like, maybe I'm wrong.
Maybe Chris Farley's SNL wasn't in the movie.
But the thing is, too, Farley was such a physical comedian.
Yep.
And that's not really my favorite.
Like, the Chippendale skit is probably his most famous.
I don't really care for that one.
Yeah.
Like, it's fine.
Like, it's not.
I don't think I've ever belly laughed at it.
Right.
Like, I like the guy who was on Weekend Update with Dormy Tom. It's like, it's fine. Like, it's not, like, I don't think I've ever belly laughed at it. Right. Like, I like the guy
who was on Weekend Update
with Dormant Donald
where it's like,
so I don't have good eyes,
so I don't own a toothbrush.
Yes, yes.
I love the Chris Farley show.
Like, remember that time
you were in the Beatles?
Yeah, that was awesome.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's just, like, so cringey.
And then, I mean,
Matt Foley's
motivational speaker
down by the river.
Matt Foley is classic.
I mean, yelling,
I live in a van
down by the river on government cheese and all that shit is absolutely classic.
But Will Ferrell, I think I just consumed the most of that.
Because we were young, too, for Chris Farley.
Whereas Ferrell was more of our wheelhouse.
And his Robert Goulet skits, I don't even really get it.
I don't really know Robert Goulet or why that's funny or why he get it. I don't really know Robert Goulet
or why that's funny or why he did it,
but it's so fucking funny.
I don't know why he was ever like,
I'm going to just do this Robert Goulet thing.
I forget the actress he did it with,
but the cheerleaders.
Yes, Spartan cheerleaders.
I was a Spartan cheerleader.
The only couples costume I could ever tolerate.
It was the Spartan cheerleaders.
You did it with?
My college girlfriend.
No shit.
And I would do a couples costume.
Now I don't give a fuck,
but back then it was like,
you're a fucking pussy.
You gotta dress up with your girlfriend in costume.
But she was like-
Will you join each other's company or something?
Fucking loser.
Yeah.
I had some guy dressed as the yellow M&M
being like, you fucking loser.
But she was like, let's do a couple's costume.
I was like, that's so cool.
And she pitched that.
Who was that?
Who was it?
Sherry O'Terry.
Sherry O'Terry.
Yes, exactly.
But the lovers, the hot tub skin lover.
Have you ever seen his audition?
His audition is amazing.
Because I think he does the Dodge Stratus one where he's yelling at his...
Or he's grilling. He's pretending to grill
and I think he's yelling at his family. But he walks
up. It's just an empty stage and he's like,
I'm Will Ferrell.
And he's pretending to grill and yelling
dead silent, no laughs. It's just
like, you gotta really be fucking good
to stick that with no feedback.
With no laughter.
This is funny. I know it's funny. I was doing a skit and someone didn't laugh in the first 30 seconds. With no laughter. This is funny. If I started doing a skit
and someone didn't laugh
in the first 30 seconds,
I'd be like,
I'm out.
I quit.
I'm going to be the plumber.
Absolutely.
So, I mean,
you can't go wrong
with either of them,
but I just personally enjoy,
like,
I consumed Feral the most.
Okay.
Man.
Fuck.
This is really hard. It's really hard to go off top, too. I think I'm going to go Sandler. Okay. Man. Fuck.
This is really hard.
It's really hard to go off top, too.
I think I'm going to go Sandler.
And again, Sandler was, again, I'm a 90s kid.
RA is going to text me that I don't have Belushi in the top two.
Are you going to take Belushi?
No.
Okay.
But.
Because he's also very physical.
Farley had other things, but Bel Belushi, he's a little too physical for me.
I also – like I can't tell you Belushi skits off the top of my head.
I don't know them.
I don't think I've watched them.
I really don't.
I mean I don't know them that well. I think about –
I don't know 80s.
You were saying Farley in like the movies.
Yeah.
Like Animal House, stuff like that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Blues Brothers.
But the – I mean Sandler – I feel like we just – we did something.
We've definitely come back around.
But there was like a 15-year stretch where we pretended Sandler wasn't fucking hilarious.
Well, he did put out some movies that were just like crudely stupid.
I understand.
But like – That doesn't mean he's not funny.
Yeah.
It doesn't mean what he's done isn't funny.
Well, you know what happened too?
Like the Billy Madison humor where he's like doing silly
voices like was super funny and then jim carrey was doing it too and then i think it like went
away and we liked like you had to be more witty vince vaughn type of humor and now i think it
kind of is back around again where it's like i don't know he's goofy and silly and you do like
dumb shit and it doesn't matter i completely agree but i think the reason it went away
is because he made it so popular we just got sick of it.
Yeah.
Like so many stupid people were doing it.
And we're like, you're not fucking Stanley.
Fuck off.
It's not Stanley.
It does take a...
I wouldn't find anybody else doing that kind of shit funny,
but I do find him funny.
Same thing with Jim Carrey doing Ace Ventura type humor.
Right.
I would hate that from someone else. But that was funny.
Weird that Jim Carrey was such an in-limbing color guy
and never SNL.
Why?
Just because he's a monster.
You just figure...
In-limbing color was like the black version of SNL,
how I always thought it.
And he's not black,
so I thought eventually he would have done SNL.
But I always said he's smart.
Yeah, he was like the one.
Fire Marshall Bill and all that shit.
But he also did pretty good.
That year, man, he did The Mask, Ace Ventura, and another one.
What's his other big one?
It was all in the same calendar year.
Dumb and Dumber?
Dumb and Dumber.
That was all in the same calendar year?
I think it was 94, all in like one year.
Shut up.
Was it later in that year?
No, that was a little bit later, I think.
Don't quote me on that, but I think quote me on that.
I mean, that's as hot a run as you can have.
They were all like in one year or like 18 months or something like bananas where it was just like, oh, yeah, he's top of the game.
I know 94 is like considered like the best movie.
The movie year.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I will go with Norm MacDonald.
Dude, he's so hit or miss with me too. with Norm Macdonald. Ah, dude.
He's so hit or miss with me too.
We're like, some stuff I forget what Norm
he has like one rather viral
clip of on a talk show.
I think he's on Conan. And he tells like
some story. I can't even remember it.
But it's just so fucking funny. It's so
deadpan. But there's a lot of him that I think
that it just doesn't miss.
Yeah.
I want to say miss because he's fucking Norm Macdonald.
Just that for you.
Yeah.
It's just not my style.
I mean,
him,
his celebrity jeopardy with Will Foe.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh,
Bert Reynolds doing the big hat.
You know,
it's funny because it's a big hat.
It's bigger than usual hat like that.
He was just like himself with that,
like voice and that style too.
I think he did a weekend update for a while. Right. So that was like a usual hat. He was just like himself with that voice and that style too. I think he did a weekend update for a while, right?
So that was like a weekend update.
I think it's like one of the only still surviving good bits.
By the way, while we talk about SNL,
just like to point out, as we all know,
that SNL could have had Shane Gillis
and had Tim Robinson for years.
And he was writing like tons of skits.
And as it was told to me, I don't know if this was an exaggerated number or a literal number.
But the person told me that, like, he only got, like, two skits on TV ever.
They only aired, like, two of his skits.
And maybe that was an exaggeration.
It's more than that.
But it was still, like, they were not using him enough.
So imagine if Gillis and Tim Robinson were doing skits every weekend right now.
I mean, it would be, like, must-see TV. They can't miss so uh yeah i'll take norm i'll take norm all right number three
i'm going to eat a fay i actually think tfa was the person who like got me into uh like you know
like it really hooked me in because i thought she was so god damn well she she's definitely part of
like the the the second wave or third wave, depending on how much you watch.
But, like, you know, after the Farleys and the Sandlers, I feel like it kind of died down.
And then Faye was a big part of the later years.
Resurgence.
I mean, she was a head writer for a while, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I think so.
Yep.
Yep.
Weekend Update is, I agree with you, like, it's my favorite thing.
Yep.
And she was who introduced me to Weekend Update is, I agree with you, it's my favorite thing. Yep. And she was who introduced me to Weekend Update.
Yep.
I'm going to go, may he rest in peace, Phil Hartman.
Oh!
Yeah.
Good answer.
I think.
I actually, again, I know his later stuff.
I actually don't know much Phil Hartman on SNL.
See, I kind of almost think the opposite.
I think of SNL when I think.
He was like,
obviously did well.
I think of,
what's Chris's movie?
Jingle All The Way.
Yeah, so he did Jingle All The Way.
He was on news radio.
He definitely had hits and success.
But I feel like he was,
and maybe I'm wrong, but I feel like he was on for a long time like where a lot of guys like stepping stone and then blew up and gone but i
feel like phil harman was there for a while doing a lot of skits so no can i i did oh man people
gonna hate this one because because i think the opposite of what we're saying. When people think of him now... Whoa.
...those eardrums out, huh?
Jeez, sauce!
What is that?
My phone's attached to my computer.
We need to gif and caption contest that.
What noise is playing in the headphones right now?
Ah!
I'm awake.
But my number four,
and again, this is nostalgia-based and yada, yada, yada, yada.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And I actually do think he's a cool guy.
It's Jimmy Fallon.
And I get the complaints about his interview style, which also I get very self-conscious about.
Because we do that.
That's what I do.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know about you, but I'm an over-laugher.
I know.
Yeah, yeah.
But his
Nomar skit killed me.
They were so fucking funny.
It's a
Will Ferrell
the hot tub skit is with
Jimmy Fallon. There's one where
Will Ferrell and I think Kristen Wiig
are making out and being over the top.
And Jimmy Fallon is just uncontrollably
laughing.
I love that one. He has no shot.
He would break.
In SNL, I think it's perfect.
It's live, and
it's not scripted, and you're laughing. I think it was a good
thing that he couldn't, and there would be guys
keeping it, like Will Ferrell just trying to get through the
scale, keep it, keep it, and he's just dying
laughing. Some people will hate that
pick, but I think it's a good pick.
In the 90s, he was the king.
Yeah.
Not king, but you know what I mean.
No, he was like that...
He was probably the main guy of SNL for a while.
Yeah.
It was maybe the dark years,
but he was that dude.
I'm going to go...
This is my fourth pick?
Yes.
With... I'm going to go Bill Hader. Are you? fourth pick yes with uh i'm gonna go bill hater are you yeah i think i think he was a good um he was a like a bright spot in in recent years where i think it was like snl sucks but except
for bill hater i i love hater and he also has like i I honestly think this is one of the more
inspiring stories
of all time
not of all time but you know
and Frank was pretty good too
but it's more like a believe in yourself
like a believe in yourself anecdote
which is him and Andy Samberg riding the
elevator together I've actually probably told you this
because I think it is like such a cool story but him and Andy Samberg were the elevator together. I've actually probably told you this, because I think it is such a cool story.
But him and Andy Samberg were both going to their audition at SNL,
and Samberg had a bag full of props.
And Hader was there, and he was like,
what the fuck?
He has fucking props.
Why do I not have any props?
And later, he learned Samberg was going,
he doesn't even have any props.
What the fuck?
And they both went up there and crushed it.
Be yourself.
Do what you're good at.
Different types of humor.
Yeah, for sure.
That's unbelievable.
That's great.
When is...
Barry?
Yeah.
I don't know.
Did that get fucked because of COVID?
Did that not shoot it?
I feel like it's about time for that next season, bro.
Oh, it's my turn.
Five.
Fifth and final.
Five is gonna be... I mean, there is a
monumentally important person
that I don't think either of us are gonna pick,
and people like Rui Ramon are gonna go
absolutely apeshit over it.
Someone other than Belushi?
Yes.
Man, I don't fucking know.
Yeah. There's a few.
Nah, Carell?
No.
No.
Eddie Murphy, yes.
But I just like...
I know, I know.
If I'm being honest, it depends.
How are we doing top fives?
Are we doing like what I think or are we trying to assemble like the best fucking arguments?
No, I'm doing my personal favorites.
I haven't seen... think or if we're trying to assemble like the best fucking argument to be my personal right that's what i mean if i were if i were to to round out my last pick if i wanted to make the best squad
i would pick eddie murphy i don't know i know the uh the mr robinson's neighborhood and i know
i was gonna say like i'm chris rock i'd love to take i don't i'm gonna tell you a character well
i don't think he i don't think he was on for that like i don't think he had that much an
illustrious snl career did he i i don't think so
but that's the point it's like you know it's like yeah i read in college i read the book uh i read
a book um just one um the it was just about like it was about farley and it's just like letters
from friends and chris rock had like he was on his time on snl with farley and he had a line i
thought was so weird where he's like i I remember watching them film Chippendale
skit.
And I was like, that's the day we lost Chris.
I knew that day he was going to die.
I was like, why?
Because he was a fat guy acting fat.
That seems like a little overdramatic.
Yeah.
He said it was so offensive and offensive.
I didn't realize how fat he was until I saw that sort of thing.
No, no.
I think it was just like that was the day.
Like, I forget exactly how his tone sort of thing. No, no. I think it was just like that was the day.
I forget exactly how his tone was.
Yeah, weird though.
But it was like, oh, yeah, he's going to go off the deep end now because we did this.
But I'll go fucking.
Okay.
I got.
Because of weekend update, I said, Seth Meyers?
No.
Oh, okay.
We're still good then.
He was on my list, but no, that's not it.
Yeah.
And I actually don't care if Seth Meyers show now. Yeah, but um but i love seth meyer's how we can update i i'm thinking so while acknowledging that eddie murphy is like probably the biggest fucking comics ever
go through snl like yes i understand that there's there's i mean a ton of others i mean dana carvey
was a huge one oh i love dana carvey's a huge one. Oh, I love Dana Carvey. Dana Carvey was a huge one.
I'm thinking about that.
I loved, I thought when I was really watching,
Daryl Hammond was like the impressions guy.
Like, he did all the really good impressions.
I think it's a, like, again, if you're drafting a team,
it's like, all right, I need the impressions guy.
I need the weekend update guy.
I need this and that.
Like, Daryl Hammond would be my impressions guy.
Another inspiring story.
He used to just, someone asked me how he got so
good at impressions he said he'd get a bottle of whiskey and just watch that person and then
just sit there just figure it out drunk and watch tv i still think i was like what a guy
i was like seven i was like that's what i want to do
because he did he did clinton so well during uh during that era like. Clinton was so important.
And he did someone else.
I mean, tons of people.
But it was Clinton and one other person.
I thought he actually.
Dana Carvey, church lady.
I remember when he was interviewing Anne Hash and he was trying to ask her if she wants a taco or a hot dog.
And he's like, well, just figure it out.
You can't keep wondering.
Which, by the way, probably wouldn't be okay today. I was going to say, you can't keep wondering. Which, by the way, probably wouldn't be okay today.
I was going to say, you can't do that.
But then also, you go to the other things,
and you're like, oh, I just wouldn't find that funny anymore.
I don't think, like, turtle, turtle.
I don't think that one would hit for me anymore.
But it was funny at the time for some reason.
I'm going to go, though, I'm going to go recent.
That's a little tip of the cap,
because they're the only guys still doing it. I think I'm going to take Michael. That's a little tip of the cap because they're like the only guys still doing it.
I think I'm going to take Michael Che.
Great one.
Che and Jost, I think, are a great duo of Weekend Update that can like not, you know,
I'm not going to take them number one as my Weekend Update duo, but they can go toe-to-toe with anybody.
And then recently, the most recent joke swap in this season.
Yeah.
And Michael Che is playing dirty because he can do the racist jokes and
Joe's can't.
Joe's is doing like you have tiny dick jokes and Che is doing like KKK
jokes.
Yeah.
You get blown out of the water.
But Michael Che, I'll take as my modern day guy.
I think Che's, I don't know if it's his most recent standup, but the one
where he's in the yellow sweatshirt, I think is one of the more underrated stand-ups of the last five years or so.
I don't remember what he's wearing, but I think we're talking about the same thing.
Because is he in like a, he's kind of like in a, he's not like a state.
It's not a state.
He comes out a little bit.
He's circular almost.
He's kind of like.
Like a stage Gaga would design.
Yeah, it comes out for sure.
That is some of the most like low-key just talking to you and just like spitting fucking jokes and facts that are hilarious all right so let us know
and get outraged about eddie murphy and john belushi and you know all that shit um i don't
care about those i i'm worried that there's like someone i genuinely like that i miss who would you
take nick anybody we missed uh i'm trying to think off the top, but there is one skit that, like, I would have picked Rachel Dratch just for Debbie Downer.
That first Debbie Downer, the rest of it.
On 30 Rock, she's like, I forget what she is on 30 Rock, but her character just annoys me.
So I kind of write her off now.
Did you guys say Sandberg?
We mentioned him with Hater, but Lonely Islander, yeah.
The digital shorts, like, at, like, 40 million. I went through, like, a wormhole, yeah. The digital shorts, like at like 40 million.
I went through like a wormhole and like was watching like Dick in the Box and Mother Lover.
Dick in the Box and I Just Had Sex and all those are.
I mean, Sudeikis.
I actually don't like Andy Samberg, though.
I never care for him.
It depends on character.
I mean, I love him.
One of my favorite movies, recent movies is Palm Springs.
I think it's a great, great movie.
But yeah, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, it doesn't care for me.
Which people love.
That got canceled.
It's a big deal.
Also, you could have said Kenan Thompson if he's been on the show for 80 years.
Yeah, I was watching...
I feel like that's almost an indictment.
His Steve Harvey is hilarious.
That is very funny.
And I love Kenan, but I almost feel like the fact that he hasn't left.
I mean, he went from all that to SNL.
He's like, this is all he's ever done.
Yeah.
He does it well.
I was watching a clip of Keenan and Kel the other day.
The Tuna one.
You know what I'm talking about?
What's about the Tuna one?
It was like...
Were you watching a Keenan and Kel clip the other day?
Yeah.
How?
Jack and Five Jones had retweeted it.
Oh, okay.
And it was like, He was on trial, and
it was just Kel.
You want to talk about an indictment?
Where did Kel go?
I think he's back doing all that again.
Oh, yeah? I know there was a rumor
that he died of an OD, but
there was really something.
It was Kel yelling. I think he said,
I put the screw
in the tuna. He was on trial for like there was something in the tuna.
And the whole skit is just him screaming, I put the screw in the tuna.
And he yells to the judge.
I mean, that's it, the whole skit.
And it was like, what the fuck?
I mean, not really.
Oh, okay.
I don't understand why it was funny, but it was.
Well, the tweet was like, we thought this was the peak of comedy.
And I mean, I don't remember that specific one, but I do remember Keenan and Kel, and I do remember all that.
But they were like kids doing ridiculous skits, and then Keenan just kept doing it as a fucking adult.
Who loves our soda?
Yeah, like even that.
Good burger, welcome to Good Burger.
I've never seen it.
It's not. the good burger like oh wow I've never seen it it's it's
it's not
yeah someone
tried to show me
it late in life
and I was like
this doesn't work
I'm sure it's not
very good
just like Space Jam
I'm sure
I mean the Space Jam
outrage is just
like crazy
40 year old men
are like
this movie's not good
it's a children's movie
like come on guys
come the fuck on
now I've heard
that it's
that it's
like the product placement is like like, overwhelmingly obnoxious.
If you want to talk about that, like, critique a movie where it's, like, one giant commercial, okay.
But if it's not a good, like, slapstick Looney Tunes cartoon.
I mean, also, if you go into it with, like, I thought that, like, Looney Tunes is funny and this is not a funny version of it fine but these people are going into it like this wasn't worth like uh you know
my date night with like my girl or something like that yeah i don't know you probably shouldn't
watch the fucking children's movie the uh by the way what you just said product placement
it reminded me of this morning when i was getting on the ferry a bunch so a bunch of us came to stay down at our house this weekend. And so me, Nate, Liz, Donnie, someone else, I forget,
came back on the boat this morning.
And as we're getting on the boat, I had a water bottle in my back pocket.
And Liz goes, is that a Crystal Pepsi?
I was like, is this a drink that they stopped making in 1996
that I'm drinking at 6 a.m. on a Monday?
Also, like, people drink bottles of water all the time.
Like, if it was a regular bottle of water.
If you had, like, an orange drink and she said, is that orange soda?
And you were like, no, it's not.
You know what I mean?
There's a very obvious, real, correct answer.
It's the most popular drink in the world, bottled water.
Is that a Crystal Pepsi?
When did Crystal Pepsi stop being made?
What's Crystal Pepsi?
You don't even know?
Do you know what Crystal Pepsi is?
There was a time.
You don't know?
Yeah, of course not.
They made Pepsi look like Sprite.
It was just clear.
Instead of black, it was called Crystal Pepsi.
1994.
I was so glad.
I actually think I said 94
when I talked to her.
I changed it to 96.
I was like,
did you guys think
this is a drink
that they stopped making in 94?
No.
And then they did
a reboot at some point
relatively recently.
I think they tried
to bring it back.
Do you remember Pepsi Blue?
I remember that shit.
Yeah, that.
Crystal Clear Pepsi
was a,
I remember so vividly, this is how old it was.
It was Van Halen right now was the commercial.
Shut the fuck up.
And that was like, it was out of the time.
That was the jam.
And it was like, right now is the time for crystal clear Pepsi.
Get a refreshing crystal clear Pepsi.
And it bombed so hard because it's like drinking milk when you think you're getting OJ.
You know what I mean?
It was just like, Sprite, Sprite, Sprite, Sprite, Sprite.
Nope, Pepsi.
So weird.
My family bought all of the racks, so I still have a bunch of them.
You have them?
No, I don't.
No, the Pepsis, the Crystal Clears.
What?
No, the Crystal Clear Pepsis.
Yeah.
No, we didn't actually buy them.
Well, because I know there was a dude, the LA Beast, I think is his name.
He does like food challenge YouTube stuff.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And he got off of eBay.
He bought a Crystal Clear Pepsi from 1994 and opened it up and drank it.
And he like vomited over it.
It would be $9 right now.
Yeah.
Oh, really?
I think we should get it and put it on the-
It actually, I think they brought it back this summer.
Yeah.
It was very recent then.
Okay.
Well, maybe he's not that crazy then.
No, but that's not what she was thinking.
Get the fuck out of here.
But also-
This dude, he opened it up.
It was also one of those glass
grenade-shaped
ones. They were like a
pint or something like that.
And he took it one sip
and puked everywhere.
The buying pallets of drinks
when you hear the least surprising thing in the history
of the world is that when
four locals going out of business gas bought like all of them yeah like dude gas's
bedroom at his old apartment like back this is back in alston like would it was just there was
a full stack of original four locos until i don't know four or five years after they stopped serving
them just keep drinking them? Yeah.
I think Gaz would probably just give them to other people.
I don't think he would drink them. It was like Jeter gift baskets.
You fuck a girl and take an original Four Logo with you.
You want a Four Logo?
Shout out to Gaz and his abs, bro.
Yeah.
Six-pack Gaz.
Six-pack sales guy.
Unbelievable.
All right.
Voicemails are brought to you by Shady Rays.
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Your funny bone?
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But, yes, I think that a sunglass, you should do that.
Because you will. I know you don't lose like a sunglass, you should do that because you will.
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Let's do our voicemails.
What do we got?
Okay.
So instead of starting off with the voicemails today, we've got our new summer intern, Mike, has, I guess, what is this, a recording of his buddy or something?
Yeah, it's my buddy's buddy. It's his first day on the job.
Okay, so his first day on the job as a cold caller.
And I guess we got audio of it, and I'm sure he's terrible at this. hello i'm gonna help you hey i was looking to speak with the owner of
is that you by chance depends who are you how can i help you my name is I thought it was funny
No, no, okay, so yeah
Hey man, I'm with
Have you heard of us before, man?
Dude, you suck at your job
You suck
You're horrible
Why don't you play pretend with the mirror With a friend You suck. You're horrible.
Why don't you play pretend with the mirror with a friend or
a classmate or
one of your gay boyfriends or something?
Hey, come on. You made me laugh when you said that.
Hey, come on now. Pull that dick out of your mouth.
Pull it out.
Pull it out.
I'm in homophobic.
You gotta prepare or pull the dick out of your ass.
Jesus.
You suck, man.
You suck, dude.
Jesus.
What's he got to do with it?
You suck at this job.
Run away.
You're horrible.
Oh, my God.
Hey, man.
Hey, man.
Hey, man.
Hey, man.
Hey, man.
Hey, man.
Hey, man.
Hey, man.
Hey, man.
Hey, man.
Hey, man.
Hey, man.
Hey, man.
Hey, man.
Hey, man.
Hey, man.
Hey, man.
Hey, man.
Hey, man.
Hey, man.
Hey, man.
Hey, man.
Hey, man.
Hey, man.
Hey, man.
Hey, man.
Hey, man.
Hey, man.
Hey, man.
Hey, man.
Hey, man.
Hey, man.
Hey, man. Hey, man. You suck!
Hey, man, your website looks pretty off to me.
Whoa, your website!
You're looking at my website.
You want to look at my cock?
You fucking f***ing nut.
Oh, wow, I called it.
I'm not noticing.
Dude, we have to replay that call, bro.
Oh, my God.
That guy was insane.
Fuck.
Yo, that guy absolutely has or is going to murder people.
That guy has some anger issues.
He's like yelling at your buddy like he's like Like he's 30 years into the career
You should start doing
You know it's a summer job man
You leave me the fuck alone
He didn't
You know he wasn't
The greatest off the top
He was bad at the top
He was right until he started dropping F-bombs
Yeah he wasn't very articulate
He didn't like get to it
He chuckled weirdly
But then
A nervous laugh is
A guy who does a lot of
nervous laughs. Totally a normal...
Right away? You're going to call me on that?
But I mean,
that was outrageous.
Take the dick out of your mouth.
No, no, no. Take the dick out of your ass.
Practice with your little boyfriends.
Dude, when he just goes...
Jesus.
Jesus.
That is so good. oh we got to get rudy in here yeah that made me think of rudy we'll do that on thursday we'll do that thursday episode okay okay he goes
like like dude i don't give a fuck about your website
jesus christ that guy absolutely beats beats people in his family that guy kicks the dog Dude, I don't give a fuck about your website. Jesus Christ.
That guy absolutely beats people in his family.
That guy kicks the dog.
That guy's an abuser.
That dude has children to kick the shit out of them.
I'm getting tired of this one.
We've got to have another one so I can beat that one too.
New toddler smack around.
Jesus.
That is unbelievable.
Oh, the way he delivered that. It's so good.
Did your boy just come home and he was like,
yo, you'll never understand the day I had to work?
Yeah, it's my buddy's buddy, so I think
that he just gave up after that. I'm not sure.
I think that it's over for him. Dude, that would be
I'd probably end up milking that one.
I'd be like, I'm suing
this company. You subjected me to abuse.
Bro, I would call that guy back every day.
We should get that guy's number.
We should get that guy's number.
We'll do callbacks and just torture him.
See, your website's looking a little messy.
My website!
We didn't talk!
Dude.
I actually want to get that guy's number and sick the stoolies on him and ruin his life.
Ruin his life.
Just every night in the middle of the night have someone call me and go, take the dick out of your ass.
Wow.
The life of like cold calling.
I know that's the only reason I work here is because my dad wouldn't give me a job.
Because he was like, he was like, and it wasn't his company, but he was like, look, I can get you a job at the call center.
You don't want that.
But you're going to be a cold caller, and you're going to kill yourself in three weeks.
I cannot fathom anyone ever having success at a cold call.
No.
Like, it has to work, right?
Well, you hit lonely people.
And they're like, oh, I think I have someone to talk to.
I guess, right?
And then they pay money, and then they're like, yeah, I'm so lonely, I'm going to talk to i guess right but then they and then and then they pay money then they're like yeah i'm so lonely i'll talk to you and then get
my get my credit card out i guess yeah right i can see like the boiler room shit where you call up
like unsuspecting people and be like i can make you five thousand dollars right now and you're
desperate and you're just like okay sure what is it like it's a penny stock or whatever yeah but
like this you know we just need to update your website. I mean, I guess you just get lucky every now and then where it's like,
you know,
I need a website and lo and behold,
the phone rang and like,
here you are.
I might,
I might as well just take you.
I forget what the company he said was.
I think we're going to bleep it out anyway.
But like when he was like,
have you heard of us?
Absolutely not.
As someone who works on the internet and does.
I was going to say that,
you know,
it's not like he said,
like,
have you heard of, um, have you heard of like say that. Absolutely not. It's not like he said, have you heard of monster.com or something.
It's just like, no.
Your bullshit company, I've never fucking heard of it, man.
Get out of here.
Wow.
Well, to all the cold callers out there, if you got any, I'm sure if he could dig up his recording, I'm sure other people can. If you've got apps, like, man, this guy's so mad.
Jesus Christ.
This guy really, really hates it.
He's, like, getting exhausted.
Jeez.
My friend actually sends it to me on the day that I'm starting here.
He's like, are you excited for your day tomorrow?
I'm like, yeah.
He's like, well, look how my buddy's first day
just like can't go anywhere.
Like, yeah, seriously.
Like, be thankful you got that gig
instead of this shit.
If you've got cold call
classic audio recordings,
send it our way.
It's got to be good.
But if you've got a moment
that stacks up to Jesus.
Can I hear it one more time, please?
Can I hear it one more?
Jesus. Can I hear it one more time, please? Can I hear it one more time?
Jesus.
You're looking at my website.
You want to look at my cock?
Jeez.
I don't even know what to say to this.
He's thinking there's nowhere in the binder.
There's no page to turn to to react to this.
Jesus.
So good.
Throw it back.
I'm going to throw up.
Or pull the dick out of your ass.
Jesus. You suck, man.
Jesus.
Jesus. I have a stomach ache and I'm crying.
Jeez.
How old are you, Mike?
How old is he?
22.
22.
Jeez.
That's got to be the most entertaining day in cold calling history.
I almost hope that.
I wish that. If I was a cold caller, I wish that once a day I could close someone and once a day I'd get that.
Jesus.
All right.
Next up.
What's up, guys?
I'm a bit speechless right now.
I just hit a goose.
I mean, I smashed it, obliterated it.
This thing just went into a cloud of feathers after I hit it.
I felt the car go right over it.
Yeah, I feel a little bad right now.
Dude.
I've got a serious question for you.
Am I the asshole in this?
I mean, this flock of fucking geese just flew right in front of me.
No chance for me to move.
Birds flew right in front, landed, started walking.
Didn't scatter as I got a little closer, and I just crunched it.
It felt like I was going over a speed bump.
I mean, I had my daughter in the back.
It was raining. I didn't want to daughter in the back. It was raining.
I didn't want to slam on the brakes.
It was hydroplaning.
So I kind of just let it go,
and I'm a case murderer,
goose murderer,
whatever the fuck you want to call it.
So am I the asshole for this fucking goose?
Because I think it's the fucking goose.
Dude, I didn't know what he said at first.
I thought he said,
I hit a goof.
And that was some sort of phrase like, I fucked up. I hit a goof. And that was some sort of phrase like I fucked up.
I hit a goof.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And I was like, what did you do?
I hit a goof.
There's fucking feathers everywhere.
I mean, I just.
The way he describes it, like there's hitting geese,
and then there's this guy.
He's like, I mean, I just obliterated this thing.
When he goes, he goes, but I got a serious question.
I was hoping it was going to be a completely new topic.
Who do you think built the pyramids?
I mean, this is famous Costanza.
We had a deal.
We have a deal.
You get out of the road.
You get out of the fucking way.
What's the point of having fucking wings and the gift of flight
if you're just going to waddle your ass
on the fucking street and get crunched by
a car? No, it's the goose.
The goose. Yeah, the move.
That might have been goose suicide
for all we know. The Native Americans could hear
horses coming from everywhere.
If you're on the street,
you should feel a car coming far, far
away.
Native Americans. Yeah, you're on the street, you should feel a car coming far, far away. But I'm good.
Yeah, you're right.
I just know you invoke the Native American name.
Okay.
Yep.
Yep.
But there is.
That's the famous joke.
Buffalo come.
What?
Like, there's some, I don't know the whole setup, but, you know, this guy and this Indian,
this Native American put their ear to the ground.
He says, Buffalo come. He says, really? ear to the ground. He says, Buffalo, come.
He says, really?
You can hear them?
He goes, no, sticky.
I haven't heard that.
But the – I'm just kidding.
I one time –
Have you hit a goose?
No, not a goose.
I hit a raccooncoon i believe it was and it is to this day
the most horrifying thing that's ever happened to me because i it was at night i was driving
through westport mass which is like a kind of a little out there where my parents live now but
at the time i lived in fall river and um it's like so kind of a little country. And I was driving down a dark road late at night.
That's when they come out, yeah.
And it stood up on its back legs and put its hands up like, oh, no!
Stop!
And I fucking smoked.
And I saw its face.
It's like chest and head hit your front, your grill.
Right in my license plate.
I saw the fear in its eyes.
Like, if that raccoon could talk, it would have said, like, no!
I have a family!
Like, we made eye contact.
And I was like, dude, it's too late.
It's too late.
I can't stop anymore.
And you know raccoons have those little human voice.
And they were up.
They were like, no!
And I had little fingers out.
And I fucking probably beheaded the thing.
I've always wondered that. When you see
roadkill on the side of the road,
does that mean they get hit and then
they limp to the side? Do they just skid across
the road? I've never... I don't know.
No, he just hit it.
But then they like... How do they get to the side of the road?
I guess...
Like in the shoulder. I feel like that must be like
they get hit and they're still alive and they limp.
I like to think that they almost made it.
Yeah.
Every time.
I mean, how dumb you got to be to get to be roadkill?
I mean, you're a real fucking asshole.
Oh, I disagree.
I mean, just don't go out there, man.
Okay.
Good point.
Counterpoint.
I was going to say it's on us for building interstates through woods and stuff.
We'll just don't go.
If we went off-roading and ran through them, we're the assholes.
We built a road.
There's a ton of traffic, and you decided to just try to cross this road?
Like, wait until there's no cars coming.
Learn how to cross the road, raccoon.
Left, you fucking bitch.
Come on.
Red light or some shit, man.
I don't think I've ever hit anything because i'm a good driver
oh i've hit i've hit things just do humans count
jackie you ever have any roadkill yeah grandpa he was super dramatic about it
the i you know what i hate hitting i think that's the only alive thing i've ever hit
um but i hate hitting things that are already dead
yeah you just but you feel it for them yeah just eradicate them it's like like flesh flying yeah
no it's gross i mean you know they if you hit the big a big enough thing like we were talking about
that great dana almost hit like a moose like they fuck you up man you you hit them and your car's
wrapping around that shit you know what i learned by way, do you know what? My cousin got hit by a car,
and it is real that, like, your shoes do fly off.
Really?
Because she went flying.
Yeah.
Is he okay?
It was awesome.
Yeah, he's fine.
I think you met him.
Like, he's good.
All right.
I learned, I was listening to Whitney Cummings' podcast.
You know she's, like, an animal freak?
Yeah.
And she was using it kind of as a metaphor.
It's an interesting one.
Kind of saying, like, when you're about to like get in a fight
whether physical or
or like verbal like
you gotta like keep calm and
you know fight the
the reflex to like jump
or go at them or whatever you know
and she said
she talked about moose and
grizzly bears try to take
down moose and and grizzly bears try to take down moose,
and they charge them,
and the moose just waits and waits and waits,
like William Wallace, like hold, hold, hold.
And at the last second, they just put their back foot out,
and the fucking grizzly bear just runs into it
and just fucking breaks its whole body.
Really?
Into a moose leg, and they just sit there,
and they're just like eating, doing whatever moose do,
and they're like, come get some.
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, come get some.
And at the last second, pow.
They got it.
Because they say,
you're not supposed to run, right?
From anything.
Well, like, prey runs.
Yeah, you gotta get big.
Think about it.
Yeah, yeah.
But I don't even know if that really works.
It definitely works.
But I think...
Imagine fighting a little person,
and they just go, rah!
I'm still way bigger than you.
I'm just going to kick your ass.
If they did that, I would be like, you're a little person trying to scare me.
But if I went up to a little kid and I was like, I'm about to fuck you up, and they were just like, yeah, come get some.
I'd be like, wait a second.
This thing is – this little kid is scary.
This is like Habib's brother.
What's his name?
Hasbulla. Hasbulla. Yeah. Yeah, I'd be like, wait a minute. Maybe he's not... This little kid is scary. This is like Habib's brother. What's his name? Hasbulla.
Hasbulla.
Yeah.
Yeah, I'd be like, wait a minute.
Maybe he's not a little kid.
Try it, bitch.
Yeah, come get...
Never mind.
Exactly.
If a little kid was like, come get some, you fucking...
Like that guy.
Fucking F word.
I'd be like, all right, never mind, bro.
Jesus.
All right.
Let's do one more voicemail, and then we got Camille.
Time to get some therapy.
Speaking of therapy and therapists, where's our pet?
Our class pet.
Yeah, where's Richard?
Well, you guys said no.
No, we said yes.
We said yes to all of them.
Then you guys said that you were going to, like, abuse this animal.
Well, no.
We said nothing of the sort.
It was going to be on a farm, and it was going to get beheaded.
We said we were going to let it free farm and it was going to get beheaded.
We said we were going to let it free range.
We were going to let it roam.
Okay, well then, if I bring in a gerbil on Wednesday,
are you guys going to complain?
Nope, not at all. Might kill it, but not complain.
Nick, am I allowed to bring in a gerbil?
I believe the rules were you
have to take care of the gerbil and keep it at your
house. And you are the person who puts things in your butt.
I believe the rules were we were each going to switch off weeks.
Oh, that's definitely not the rule.
Again, I have you.
We were all going to switch off.
You think I'm bringing a gerbil to my goddamn house?
I feel like I forgot to run that by you guys, but that was my idea.
It was like we each take a week.
Yeah, you definitely forgot that.
Here's the deal.
There's 52 weeks in a year.
You will take care of the gerbil for 52 weeks.
Shake on it.
Deal?
Deal.
You just got yourself a gerbil.
Sold.
You can bring it in every now and then.
Richard can hang out here.
We'll scare some guests.
It's also, I thought about it, like dick.
Like an ass.
Yeah.
Dick and ass. Dick and ass.
Dick and ass.
Yep.
Yep.
How was your weekend, Jackie?
Jackie, how many days were in this weekend?
Let's say there was Friday night, Saturday night, Sunday night.
How many times did you sleep at your apartment?
How many times did you sleep at your apartment?
How many days?
One?
Zero.
Zero.
Zero.
Okay. And how many times did you sleep in your apartment? How many days? One? Zero. Zero. Okay.
And how many times did you sleep in the Barstool office?
Okay.
The answer is two, folks.
The answer is two.
I don't even want to go over this.
The answer is two.
But the last one was because I was working hard.
And I had to sleep here because I was working until four in the morning.
So that one checked out.
The first one wasn't exactly the same scenario.
What happened?
You just thought it was a good idea to come sleep here?
I wish I knew.
But I.
You have roommates now, too, no?
I know.
Weren't they like come home with us?
I think that I just because I don't think I brought keys out.
And so I think I was just like.
Stranded.
I need somewhere to sleep.
Yeah.
And then I guess I woke up here.
But it was funny because my...
Were you in the studio or were you in the office?
I was in the green room.
It was like, I had a fantastic night's sleep.
I bet the green room was really quiet.
It's the place to sleep if you're going to sleep here.
I've done it several times.
Not after a night out.
Well, actually, that's why.
Don't tell Kelly Martin.
She'll kill you.
Don't tell anybody, a.k.a. don't tweet about it. Well, actually, that's a lie. Don't tell Kelly Martin. She'll kill you. I know.
I'm like.
Don't tell anybody, a.k.a. Don't tweet about it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I texted Jackie.
I was like, you will be on the next episode of the Dayport.
I didn't think about that.
I didn't think about that.
But, yeah, no, I woke up.
And it was also funny because, like, I don't think I really fully remembered going there.
But, like, it was black.
It was, like, all black.
It was pitch black.
And, like, my room was pitch black because, like, I don't have a window.
And so for five minutes, I, like I thought that it was in my room, and then I woke up, and I was like, oh my god.
Why am I in the office?
What time did you wake up?
It was like nine.
And that was Sunday morning?
This was Saturday morning.
All right.
So nobody here?
Nobody was here.
No, thank god.
That would have been so funny
I also like how we've
um
how you know
thank god no one was here
to see that
and then
Jackie
delete that tweet
to your
I don't know what
10,000 followers
yeah
yeah
but we'll tell it
on the podcast though
yeah
we'll tell it to a couple
hundred thousand people
it might have been
I did like a no comment sign
and you guys made me do it
lesson learned right
lesson learned
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Last voicemail.
Let's go.
What's up, KFC?
I was just listening to your most recent podcast, and you guys were talking about sponsoring a chicken.
I think that's hysterical.
And I think I can help you.
I got six chickens at my disposal that live in my house.
They're all female, so they all lay eggs and stuff like that.
But, yeah, I think that'd be awesome and hysterical if you guys want to sponsor a chicken.
So I got six.
So let me know if you want one.
Do you want to do the gerbil or the chicken or both?
Okay, well, sponsor a chicken.
What does sponsoring a chicken mean?
We buy it and we, you know, raise it
Okay, but how much is that going to cost us?
Because I'll do all six
I think we can afford all six, right?
I think we can afford all six
Can Jackie take care of six chickens is the question
Oh, oh, oh, no, he takes care of it
Oh, you want to sponsor it like the same way my brother sponsored that
Yeah, it's like the seal I own
And also the tree I own and the rainforest
And the moon, the star I don't have a star exactly yes uh yeah i feel like this whole thing is like
backfire like i sure did now i just put work like i yeah yeah but you got the whole time bad
decision for you you guys also like it's a team effort no no it's your it's your it's your job
you're the director of morale.
You're supposed to be gassing us up.
The way that you're going to gas us up is give me a chore?
Yes. I think I need more work in my life.
But then what's, like, so now I'm just, like, raising a gerbil on the side?
And six chickens.
Yeah.
I didn't hear the voice, though.
Yeah, no, we're getting six chickens.
We're getting six chickens we're getting six chickens
six chickens and a gerbil
you're telling me that can't be like an internet series called six chickens and a gerbil
you see the new episode of six chickens and a gerbil
it's amazing
by the way I think Henry would have loved it
if a gerbil was running around
oh sure and six chickens
I mean I feel like this is
this is Cramerica Industries
in Seinfeld
as far as I can like this is straight out of, this is Cramerica Industries in Seinfeld.
Like, as far as I can tell, this company is nothing more than a solitary man living in an apartment that may or may not contain a chicken.
That's all we're doing here.
Imagine if, like, the rest of our podcast had just been, like, there's a bunch of shit in the background.
Like, did you get him to shut up, Jackie?
Jesus, there's a fucking show going on here. Take care of your goddamn
kids.
I'm just picturing, you know chickens can
fly for like two seconds, and Jackie's just
chasing them while they glide through the air.
Feathers are going everywhere.
The gerbil's getting attacked by the chickens.
Morale's
never been higher.
They're all just pecking him apart.
Jesus, Jackie!
You're going to put him in my ass tonight!
You know shit's getting weird.
You come in, Jackie's chasing around six chickens,
but the gerbil's nowhere to be found.
Uh-oh.
We know where the gerbil is.
Nick's kind of waddling after one chicken.
Come to KFC Radio, man.
We got a whole team now.
There's like six humans,
six chickens,
and a gerbil.
Try and find it.
That'd be a game.
Everyone sits at a table.
Then you gotta keep
a straight face
and find out which person has a gerbil in their hands.
Mike is squirming over there, bro.
What did you do?
Mike looks really uncomfortable today.
That was just one episode.
Everyone who works on this show now is sitting at this table quietly.
Eventually someone's just like,
God damn it!
He bit me!
He bit me. He beat me.
Goodness gracious.
All right.
Camille Kostic joins the program now.
I mean, yeah, we're going to take you up on that offer for the chickens, bro.
Camille Kostic's on the show.
It's brought to you by 3G. Send us a price.
Let's negotiate.
Call us back.
We'll call him back live next time.
Zero. You're donating the chickens to the show, dude. You buy 3G. Let's negotiate. Call us back. We'll call him back live next time.
No, I mean, the price is zero.
You're donating the chickens to the show, dude.
No, I want to care for it.
It's one of those things you got to buy it to value it. How much does it cost to raise a chicken?
Yeah.
I'll pay for it.
Nope, they don't eat eggs.
They lay them.
They eat that like seed.
Yeah.
Okay, how much for the dirt a chicken eats?
It can't be much. It can't be much. It can't be much it can't be much i think i have
like 10 bucks in my pocket should cover the license lifespan three chi brings you today's
interview if you were listening to today's episode on three chi you were having yourself a time
now enjoy it responsibly and i don't just say that to be a nerd. I say that as the guy who overdid it.
But, man, do I love 3G, man.
Right now, I've been reading a lot.
Not a lot, but recently.
Excuse me?
I've been reading, like, not, like, anything serious.
All, like, fiction books and beach reads and summer reads.
How is this the first time I'm hearing of this?
Because it's only been going on in, like, a couple weeks.
You used to make fun of me for reading.
Well, yeah, you're a nerd. Can I make a Beach Read recommendation real quick?
Sure.
21 Truths About Love.
I did it last summer, but it is...
It's really good.
It's all written in lists.
I'll just give it to you.
Okay.
But you don't have to buy it.
But listener, I recommend it.
Well, you know, we're in different things.
I'm doing this sci-fi book right now that's coming out in...
That's right.
You're a nerd.
I'm not.
I forgot.
Right. You're just a pussy. You do romance novels. I'm doing this sci-fi book right now that's coming out. That's right. You're a nerd. I'm not. I forgot. Right.
You're just a pussy.
You do romance novels.
I'm a nerd.
You're gay.
That's what K-Serio should be.
Brought to you by
a nerd and a gay.
I'm so mad at you,
by the way.
Why?
If you were just actually gay,
we'd be rich.
I know.
Yeah, I know.
No, you're like,
for real.
For fucking real. this is if this show
was like a straight barstool bro and a straight gay guy and a gay barstool guy we would be getting
50 million dollar offers from spotify i agree and instead you eat pussy and we're poor you
fucking asshole just come out just do it come out come out i Just do it.
Come out.
Come out.
I think you were the one who came out last episode.
I know.
I'm trying.
What's that deal when you get over 30 and you just start loving cock?
So maybe I'll come out.
Maybe I'll come out. I'll bet you Tommy Pham doesn't hit 300 this year.
That's the new code for gay, you know?
I'm such a Tommy fan, bro.
Anyway, I love getting three cheat up.
And so the book I'm reading is Foundation.
It's going to be a new series on Apple TV in September.
I think it's going to be, they're hoping it's going to be the next Game of Thrones.
Although it's more, it's not like fantasy-ish.
It's more like space stuff.
But Star Wars is based on this. This is like the OG sci-fi book. more it's it's not it's not like fantasy-ish it's more like space space space stuff but star wars is
based on this this is like the og sci-fi star wars is based on a book i didn't think star well it's
not like it's not like like you're not gonna find out like luke skywalker's in this book oh okay it's
like that's where this that's where george lucas and everyone like got this like that's fine i get
the inspiration framework i thought like but even that even that i thought that like that star wars
was like the inspiration for everything.
I think that's where it all began.
And it turns out it's Isaac Asimov
and Foundation is the spot.
So I'm reading that.
I actually just started that.
So I'm starting reading that.
Give us the page number.
Like four.
Because sometimes the 3G puts me out.
I'm going to get 3G to read this book.
So you take some Chi and you get bed, and you read a book?
Yeah.
God damn.
I'm also doing a little bit of –
Look at you growing up.
Well, you know what happened?
I started out – I was doing – I started going to the pool during the summer with kids and shit.
I was doing books on tape, audio, audible.
And then I tried to do that.
I go right the fuck to sleep.
If I lay down, I'm like listening.
See you later.
So then I was like, all right, I'm going to get up.
You lose the kids and it's an old thing.
Then I was like, let me get the book,
and I realized it's not the form of which I'm consuming the book.
It's the THC in my system.
It's the rampant Delta-8 in my body.
That's putting me to sleep
because god do i love it though it's like you know you know some people like you take ambien
you try to fight it they say it's like funny i've never done that i've never done it but i'm like i
i get the i put it takes a three cheat i get my book out and i like the my joke to myself as i
wake up in the morning i look what page i'm on i'm like i got like half a page further uh it's
but it's just so peaceful. I love it.
And I've been a gummy guy, but recently I've been doing the vape pen.
And the vape cartridges, they just work so fast.
I mean, it's like I am stoned.
Like it's one pull and I am high.
It is amazing. If you don't know what 3G is, it's a THC extract, Delta 8, that gets you high
and helps you deal
with chronic pain and restlessness and anxiety.
And in the morning you don't have that like weed hangover and you don't get
that sluggishness and that, that paranoia it's psychoactive.
So it gets you the buzz and you do have to use it responsibly,
but it's also gets rid of some of the bad effects.
So go to three cheat.com, the number 3, C-H-I.com.
Use promo code KFC2021.
That is the year currently.
And you get 5% off your order.
That's KFC2021 at 3cheat.com.
You can get the vapes, the gummies, the oils, the tinctures.
You can put them in your own edibles.
You can get their edibles.
They have the brownies, the cookies, the Rice Krispies treats.
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Must be 21 or older to buy and consume.
Follow along at 3Channa and go to 3Channa.com, promo code KFC2021.
Let's talk to Camille Kostic on KFC Radio.
There she is.
Oh, nope, never mind.
Hey, back.
What's up, gorgeous?
Is there even anything to talk about anymore with us
I'm like I need to retire
Wait no I have things to talk about
Where's our relationship stand right now you and I
Wow
Are we still engaged
Are we like on right now
Oh hi
Where's our relationship
Are we still engaged
The longest engagement of all
time we're going like five years no no we'll get i'll get your real ring soon that's okay
that we're supposed to get like married like that's usually how it works
it just feels good right here yeah no i like that i agree with you that's what that's what
engaged couples say when they're doubting it. No, we're just good right now.
I don't need a piece of paper to show my love.
We don't need a whole thing.
We're just engaged.
We're good.
I got it.
I understand.
We should go back to that spot and have a breakup video.
Throw a drink in his face.
Are you in a relationship?
Why do I feel like you are?
You're right.
Yeah, with you.
He's cheating on you. No, you're right. Yeah, with you. He's cheating on you.
No, no, no.
It's with you.
You have a serious relationship, right?
Yeah, every time I talk about my girlfriend on the podcast, I'm talking about you.
That would be a funny little revelation.
Just a four-year bit.
He's like, yeah.
Yeah, you.
Yeah, she's in Sports Illustrated.
It's awesome.
It's straight up like my real girlfriend.
This is like when you're lying in seventh grade about who your girlfriend is.
She's not from here.
It's long distance.
She's in Sports Illustrated.
That makes sense why my magazine sits there.
I never want to break up because I really love.
I'm always in the episodes even when I'm not there.
You're in literally every single episode.
Honestly, one day we should. I mean, I do love it
as a little accent piece.
Why didn't you scream it?
Oh yeah, that's new.
Listen, girl, we got the, you know, you guys are engaged.
Actually, this was my engagement present to you guys.
I got it framed.
But I think one day we should stage
like a dramatic breakup where you're like,
ah, you smash this and throw it across the room
all dramatic.
And then that woman who was there filming our engagement she just happens to be there again
and she's like oh my god this is a mess this time says ksc radio one of my first stops uh since
finding out i got this cover baby that was a moment that was a hell of a moment for you
you look uh you look pretty good i'd say pretty decent pretty decent on the cover here how about
you in this like uh suit jacket here? You're looking more professional.
I mean, you guys.
Of course, I'm wearing blue bra top underneath.
There you go.
I mean, you've got a lot cooking right now.
You've got your own line of this, your own line of that.
I mean, you can be like Camille head to toe now, right?
Yeah, what aren't you doing right now?
I don't know.
A lot of things.
I don't have a podcast.
That's why I come on yours all the time.
That was.
Don't, don't do it.
That seemed insulting, in fact.
I don't know.
I'm in the new Ryan Reynolds movie, but I guess I don't have a podcast.
I don't do your dumb shit.
I always do your podcast.
I'm literally going to be 95.
Hopefully still in Sports Illustrated.
What do we have to talk about?
No, but it is true.
There are people who like you.
We do so many interviews where people are promoting a certain thing or whatever.
But then there are people who are just like, yeah, pencil it in no matter what.
I don't care what's going on or what's not going on.
We're going to chop it up.
I feel like I almost feel weird coming on.
Like if I do something, I think I remember talking to you guys
and then also with the chicks.
And I think I was going on to talk about like season two of Wipeout or something.
It felt weird.
I was like, oh, yeah, we're here to talk about this.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
There's a business side of this.
Right.
Wouldn't that be weird if your conversations in real life with your friends were almost like all podcast interviews?
Because we were just friends talking, but then at the end you have to be like, let me tell you what I'm doing.
At the end of every conversation, your friend was like, well, I got a business call at 9, and I'll see you on this trip at 10.
The other day, because I'm in New York City right now.
It kind of stinks that we're not.
What the fuck?
Why didn't you come over?
I didn't know it was allowed.
What are you talking about?
Yeah.
We stopped doing anything about a year ago now.
Yeah, we are back in action.
Wait, so you're just in a hotel room in New York City right now?
What relatively part of town?
Rob and I got an apartment here.
Oh, you motherfuckers.
So you just like kind of live here now?
Yeah, very, very recently.
But yeah, so, but I will say,
I didn't know I was going to be here to the last second.
So I'm really like in and out.
Shit.
Yeah, well, listen, next time you can come through,
we're back in action.
I mean, I will say I'm really enjoying being like barefoot
and sitting crisscross applesauce.
You can do that too. I'll fucking take
my pants off right now. We can just hang out.
Like this place is, there are no
rules here. I'm actually wearing shoes today that are
way too small. I'm taking them off right now. I'm doing it. Do it.
Done. Shoes off, Camille.
Why are you wearing shoes that are too small?
John sometimes wears a pair of boxers.
This is a specific pair of underwear.
They are a size small, Camille.
Wait,
what? Yeah, exactly.
So I forget that things come
in sizes sometimes, and I have
multiple, on multiple occasions,
I have bought packs of underwear
just in the front. I just grabbed the first ones I saw,
because why not? And it turns out
in the front, I keep the smalls. In the back's where the
larges are. But that's fine. Okay. You do that, and that and you're like shit that was stupid of me let me throw these out or
give them to someone who's small john just continues to wear them we're all the time he's
like six two three hundred pounds it's crazy what size are you wearing right now right now of underwear look that that'll be our our title like talking underwear with real costume yeah
it would be very disappointing it's mine
um so sports illustrated i mean i really do have to ask like wait which of your million
things are we really talking about today because you do have so many things so many so many business and adventures the magazine launched today and i haven't even
seen the magazine yet i don't even know what photos are in the magazine so i'm here talking
about it and i'm like dying to catch a break so i can go run out and get one to go figure out i'm
where i would guess they're pretty okay. I wouldn't worry.
What is in the world right now?
Where was your shoot this time?
I remember the first time we talked and you were,
it was the first time you were in the magazine.
It wasn't,
I was not your cover time.
And you were like,
you guys know how it is when you're like topless in Bali.
And we're like,
no,
we have no idea what that's like.
Absolutely not.
Where were you this time?
I was in Belize, but that time.
Oh, Belize, my bad.
Yeah, and then I was in Australia, then the Dominican.
And this year, we did it domestic.
So I was in Miami Beach.
I do know what it's like to be topless there.
That one I can relate to.
Do you prefer, is it nice to to be topless there that one I can relate to do you prefer is it nice to like
not have to fly like around the world
or do you actually like getting out there
oh my god I mean
going on an international trip even
if it's for two days and I remember
when I went to Australia where that cover was
shot I remember traveling for like 30 hours
and I think I was in Australia
for 30 hours and then
back on the flight to Quebec it was the most epic like one of
the most epic trips of my life but um I have to tell you I was so happy that they didn't take a
hiatus this year because of everything in 2020 and that they figured out a way to shoot um but
doing it's a much different situation when you're in belize on a private island topless
and you're in miami beach topless i didn't think of that yeah and there's the general public and
i'm like what's happening how so what is how does that work do you just like take the picture you
know hold them up like take the picture come back up them the whole time so you know you i'm i love that we're saying them like
the girls comfortable around the team so when you're facing the camera crew and everybody that
you like you know and love and has been shooting with you over the years like i you get really
comfortable so we actually had to put like little pasties on i'm used to just you know let it just
free the nip yeah let them go yeah so i was getting a little
comfortable when you're getting in the zone i'm practicing in my blazer you're getting in zone
in between takes or when you want to be in position let go and then you start again there
was no letting go so it was like juggling it was very do you ever is there ever like a new
hire or something where you're like, oh shit.
Like, you know, you have a crew of 10 and then all of a sudden there's like an 11th
and now you're like, well, wait a minute.
I think that's the, that's, I wouldn't say it's a problem to some people.
It is.
I'm so comfortable that sometimes even if I, I don't even know if I have like a quick
change somewhere in front of like strangers or something, I will undress.
And they're like, oh, my God, I'm so sorry.
I'm like, what are you sorry for?
I'm sorry I offended you.
Listen, I don't think anybody should be apologizing.
I think it's a pretty, you know, if you're comfortable, it's a win-win.
I think everybody's all good with that.
That happens to me on the subway all the time.
I take my pants off.
People are like, I'm sorry. No, no time i take my pants off but you're like i'm sorry no
no i took my pants off it's you're good now wait hang on i just saw as i was looking up uh the
pictures for this year i'm seeing megan the stallion in this issue that is everyone else
dude it's a real hot girl summer. Yeah, for real.
This is...
Yeah, I'm looking at the SI Swimsuit IG,
and it says that they did a sit-down with her,
so you can catch that.
I still haven't had a look at everything, so...
She's a baddie.
She's a baddie.
Do you ever interact with the other models,
or is it like you do yours, they do theirs,
and everyone just... I mean, I've seen group shots, but is it for the most part you're solo
or for the most part you're all together? Yeah. For the most part you're solo. So when someone's
flying in, um, and shooting the other person is, or you're shooting, someone's flying in and
getting ready. And then when you leave, they go into the fitting room and they get ready for their
shoot. So it's really like in passing, a lot of the times you don't even realize i didn't even know all the other models
that shot in miami even though we were all in the same hotel but it was just like done you're out so
um there's a couple girls i saw in passing i remember actually i was passing olivia colpo
when she came into australia and i was leaving and i was like dang i wish we could like both be
here together and chill but good job get out yeah she's in the comments of this all the look at all
these blue checks.
So this is Megan's picture, and it's like,
it's Olivia Culpo and Kristen Harper.
Everyone's like, oh, my God, I'm freaking out.
Slay queen. Yes, queen. All that shit.
I'm loving this.
It is funny to see that, like, you're all,
you can be on the goddamn cover, and you're still, like, fangirling over someone else
being on the cover, you know?
Yeah, it's unbelievable. We all all are like who is the cover no one knows we all find
out when everybody else does and like i said there's people are seeing my images before i'm
even seeing you know what they should do one year is like rock paper scissors between two chicks for
the cover that would be unbelievable i would watch that shit wait you just said do you have no input in it in any of
your pictures none wait wait uh like nobody or like you know like fucking giselle says she's
not doing something she's not doing something right i mean i'm not her so uh but i'd be like
this is like you're what third or fourth i was gonna say you should have some well let me talk
to your agent i got we got uh you know let me represent you when we when we do the i will say this year and and i think last year when we do the fittings i remember
just going in and be like put me in you know whatever you want like yeah i was happy to be
there but yeah and now but now that i like know my body type and i know like what's flattering
to my figure and and stuff like that um it's cool. MJ will be like, pull out some of your favorites.
It's cool in that.
It's nuts to me that MJ is like, she might be the more dominant MJ.
Like the moment you said MJ, I knew exactly who you were talking about.
Right. And the fact that we know like a photographer, I mean, she, you know,
Michael Jordan is second when it comes to dominating your field.
And Michael Jackson's not even in the conversation.
Forget about it.
Shit, that's awesome.
When I say MJ and Barstool Sports, you guys are probably thinking about the athlete.
No, not anymore.
Swear to God, I'm not.
Swear to God, I'm not.
When I first, like, found out not even who she was, I just, like, found her Instagram.
And I was kind of just like, at first, I didn't if it was a guy or a girl. Cause she was taking pictures.
And I was just like,
who is this lucky,
lucky person?
What a job.
It's that's so,
that's so interesting because I still don't know what she looks like.
Yeah.
Images.
She's there.
I think she,
she's in some of the photos that she uploaded recently.
She's,
would you know her by sight?
I wouldn't know her by sight. I have seen her. I Would you know her by sight? I wouldn't know her by sight.
I have seen her.
I wouldn't know her by sight, but I have seen her.
MJ Day, right?
Yeah.
Yeah, like, I mean, I'm looking at her now,
but if she had walked in, I wouldn't be like.
Gorgeous.
I mean, and she just.
Oh, look, there you are specifically with her.
It's a shot of you two.
No, that's not me.
That's not her.
Oh, well, it's a shot of you two no that's not me that's not her oh well it's on her instagram see what i'm telling you i don't know who she is it's just wild
but i almost feel like i have to like like pay respect to her because i feel like growing up as
a guy uh and even still now as an adult it's's like Sports Illustrated and Victoria's Secret are
the end-all be-all of modeling
in my mind.
If you contribute
to that, then I thank you.
It's what made me come out as straight.
You came out as a straight guy?
The Tyra Banks issue. I remember seeing that and going,
oh, that's what I like.
Oh, and you came out as multicultural as well.
Yeah.
You didn't discriminate at all.
I have a question about the shoots.
I remember seeing a Chrissy Teigen tweet long ago where she was talking about how often people drink on shoots because it dehydrates you.
Do people drink a lot of white wine on shoots?
Oh, I thought you meant drink water no no she's
she said that like everyone drinks white wine all the time oh i her shoot must have had a different
environment because it's chrissy or something because well i was gonna say yeah usually on my
shoot so we're drinking like coolers and coolers of water actually i actually can't believe how
long i can go without eating and drinking on set because when i'm in the zone like i i that's i'm like oh wow
like a lot of hours have passed by or the biggest time to break for lunch and i'm like i want to
keep going because when you're just there you just want you're just you're in that moment you just
want to keep going you're in the zone so yeah i feel like chrissy was letting it rip yeah i was
gonna say she must have had like a special request or something because I've never seen.
I forget.
It was one tweet.
I forget exactly what she was describing, but she definitely talked about models drinking white wine.
How about this?
Is pepperoni, is that universal or is that hers?
What?
That's what the photographer says if your nipple's showing.
Pepper.
I was going to say, I know what pepperoni means in the
modeling world but i don't know what you're talking about was it true you were talking
about like that people are eating pepperonis on set um yeah i know what that means that's
that's universal yeah but i don't like it i don't so wait wait wait hang explain to me
they just shower it out if your nipples are showing like pepperoni camille sometimes i think it's just so funny
why can't you just say hey your nipples out yeah
is that is that do they like whisper to you like pepperoni no i don't know sometimes like sometimes i haven't heard someone say that to me a long
time because i think if they said that they'd be like can we have another name for it can you just
tell me my that is what would you prefer okay okay let's come up with with the code word for
you if it's not going to be pepperoni and you can't just be literal about it what would you prefer okay okay let's come up with with the code word for you if it's not gonna be pepperoni and you can't just be literal about it what would you rather something better
than a sweaty italian yeah salami we got a mortadella showing what would be your code
word for nibs i don't know what's like we used to come up with like a cute one. Okay. Like, like,
I don't know. Are we going to describe it literally?
Are we going to say it's like a little pop out?
Mini mountain.
Mini mountain.
Mini mountain.
Sounds like something from Candyland.
This is awesome.
Nevermind.
We win.
Gumdrops.
How about that?
Ooh,
I like gumdrops.
I like that.
Gumdrops is cute cute you can say any candy
you can be lollipops your lollipops are showing but they're gum drop ass yeah right they could
be a lollipop ass too gum drop and i and i and i think it's uh you know it's all
it's about the delivery too you know like hey gum drop yeah you can't be like pepperonis your ronies are out girl we're
gonna revolutionize the modeling industry yeah have mj leave our stamp on it yeah we'll be the
guys how about we'll be the designated nipple watchers to just be like yep if we can apply
for that job i'm in i don't hope this but i kind of hope that there's a behind-the-scenes footage that will happen in the next shoot.
And I have a slip, and it's on camera.
And the photographer says, you're gumdrops.
I think you and the rest of the world want that to happen, too.
Gumdrops.
How about this?
Can you, next time you're on set, why don't you say that?
Why don't you tell your photographer, if there's a wardrobe malfunction, just say
gumdrops and we're going to start this movement.
There's no pepperonis when I'm on set.
Gumdrops.
And then I feel
like one day you can write like an
autobiography or something and you're going to call it gumdrops.
Gumdrops.
And then it'll be a cute little like anecdote
when you're doing the book tour. So why gumdrops?
Well, me and my fiance we had this code word for when my nipples are out.
Podcasts are fun because you can literally go off about a nothing.
Anything and nothing.
Camille, it's the only reason I have a job.
Yeah.
Just talking about nonsense.
If there was rules to it and structure that you had had to follow we would have been cooked a long especially specifically this show like
we don't have any rules this is episode 100 000 with neil kostick titled gumdrops yes i love it
i absolutely love it uh what what uh so yeah the ryan rey What, what, so yeah, the Ryan Reynolds movie?
What's the, yeah.
Are you guys going to go see it? Yes!
I mean, as a matter of fact, I'm going to call that the Camille Kostick
movie that Ryan Reynolds makes an appearance in.
Okay, no.
I'm not upset
about it. How much
interaction did you get with him?
If any, because I know sometimes these things are like, you know,
All the days that I was on set, he was always there because he was always in there but what
was cool is he he was giving a lot of direction as well so it's it's pretty sweet too because i
think i love acting a lot right now because it's something that's such a challenge for me and all
the things that i do i'm designing swimsuits is also a challenge but i'm finding that memorizing
the lines and not getting to really improv like i do with Wipeout where, you know, it's unscripted. It's not even just memorizing the lines. It's
what is your facial expression? What is your body language? You really can't go off script
that much until like, once you get it down, maybe they'll allow you. But it was such a huge
learning experience for me. So I was so nervous and I kind of like being in that state. I'm not,
I'm almost like very uncomfortable
but comfortable with being uncomfortable if that makes sense like i was like this is really cool
i'm pushing myself to like a new level and having ryan there be like okay now do it this way now do
it this way i love it that way like getting that reassurance from someone who's so legendary it was
it was it was cool and actually we did a um there was a private screening in Boston a couple weeks ago.
And Rob and I won't be able to go to the theaters together because he'll be in, like, football mode.
And I go out to shoot Wipeout next month when the movie comes out.
So when we found out that we were going to be able to go to this private screening the other week, I was like, this is amazing to get to watch the movie together.
So when we went there, Ryan was there.
And the two of them met for the first time.
And it was just, I knew the night was going to be special but i wasn't expecting this
moment to happen that i'll never forget when they you know shook hands met for the first time and
then to be standing next to these two men and him be like put his hand on my shoulder and be like
she's really great it was awesome and i was like whoa that was awesome. And I was like, whoa, that was cool.
You know, I was like a little kid in that moment.
You know, that's amazing.
For Rob about being in a film because I'm I'm not in films like that.
So.
Oh, wait, are we are we going to be are we a film girl?
Are we calling movies films now all the time?
Film, film, film, film, film.
Like proper lingo.
Yeah, no, it's movies.
You do film sometimes, too, right? I say film. I don't have proper lingo for anything. Yeah, no, it's movies. You do film sometimes too, right?
I say film.
I say film, yeah.
When you're trying to be, when you're trying to talk about it.
No, I say film for like cinema.
Like Fast and Furious is a film.
No, no.
No, Fast and Furious is a movie, not a film.
What's the difference?
Well, film to me feels like when you're trying to be like, I was in a film.
I won the Oscar because I'm in a film.
Oh, okay. I'm just being manly,'m just being a man yes that's a difference um don't be late to the movie because i'm in the opening scene oh wow lead off let's go i just i'm the person who sometimes shows up late
so i'm just telling other people no i'm there because i i'm i'm seeing all the the previews i'm doing
all that shit it's like impossible to be late to a movie now anyway though because there are 20
minutes of previews yeah and they're all awesome i love i'm not complaining about that i love them
yeah i've been waiting for the movies to open so i feel like it's like a thing to do like you're
gonna be it's time to go to movies it's five o'clock you know seven o'clock movie like just
what's your movie what's your movie order? Snack order.
What do you mean?
Like when you go to the movies, do you get snacks to eat?
Oh, of course.
What's your go-to order?
I get the big jumbo popcorn, extra butter,
pump it on top.
Do you ever do the straw?
You put the straw
underneath the
butter dispenser, and then you put the straw put the straw underneath the like butter dispenser and then you put the straw
into your popcorn bucket so instead of just getting the top you get like into the bottom
of the popcorn with the butter it's revolutionary i don't know why it could be caught no you're
allowed to do it come on you get a little messy you gotta be ready for it but but you get that
butter all in the middle okay so you get the jumbo popcorn.
And then you always have to get a chocolate and a sweet,
so I'll get like the Swedish fish
and like an M&M or something.
See, we go,
how about,
what do you think about Bunch O' Crunch?
The Nestle's Bunch O' Crunch.
You put that into the popcorn.
I don't do that.
I don't put the chocolate in the popcorn.
I don't put it in either because it melts the chocolate. You don't have to put it in but you do the bite you eat
the popcorn you eat the bunch of crunch okay i like that i like that and what's your drink i've
heard of that um i get a water and a lemonade oh a lemonade that's an interesting so wait
where you're rolling in you're getting a tub of popcorn, Swedish
fish, M&M's,
water, and a lemonade.
That's awesome. That's why we're engaged
right there. Yeah, that's love.
I can't even imagine what
your side piece, Rob, when you're out
cheating on John, when you're out with Rob,
you get all that shit. I can't even imagine when he's
rolling. You guys probably have a fucking Thanksgiving
feast.
It's not what you think.
It's the opposite.
It's the,
and I know he's not the only man out there.
So women speak up.
This is what happens.
I don't want anything.
Just get me a water.
Cause he's trying to be healthy.
Like no movies you enjoy,
but then he eats everything of mine.
And I like,
I don't share like that.
I'll share the popcorn.
I'll share the popcorn.
Yeah. But I will not. I'm going to be one pack of swedish fish get your own that's funny that is reversed though
it's usually yeah i could see every time he's always finish it i'm like it's not about not
finishing it's about letting me have my moment to just enjoy all of it before it's gone and then
you can have it i feel like there's some
deeper meaning here i mean you've had your time okay now it's my time and it's my sweetest fish
leave me alone i've worked for 10 months for a bikini like now i get to have a sweetest fish
leave me the fuck alone yeah is there do you have a moment like that after you shoot where you're
like you don't have to worry about anything for a little while and you just go nuts listen i'm like
not really
into that like diet culture so whenever i talk about like i'd have cheat meals after shoots for
sure like i'm not eating penne alabaca the night before i'm sure going to oh yeah i'm eating it
after but i just like i like i love eating clean i love eating healthy i do love if it's someone's
birthday if it's christmas if it's i'm eating all the cookies i mean all the carvel ice cream cake
i'm i'm enjoying it if you're gonna do it enjoy it don't complain about it's, I mean, and all the cookies, I mean, all the Carvel ice cream cake, I'm, I'm enjoying it.
If you're going to do it, enjoy it.
Don't complain about it.
Have to do that.
But, um, but my, I love Penne a la vodka and yeah, I just, that's my cheat meal.
I grab my girls.
We go out the bread, all the bread and oil.
I like how when you describe like holidays and cheat meals, it's just like a Tuesday for me.
That's breakfast.
I'm having a penny alabaga for breakfast.
I have, okay, is this disgusting?
In my sheets in my bed, I have, there are pockets on them, which are like, I don't know how that, they have like pockets.
Like along the side of the bed, he has like little pouches, if you will.
And I fill him with candy.
Oh.
She puts her
chin in her hand. Oh,
okay. No, I honestly
was just admiring my fiancé's face after
he said that. He was like, and I have
candy in there, and I put my hands in a pocket.
Aw,
that's so cute.
She loves it.
Are you going to sleep over i'll fill your side too don't worry about it i'll get you a bunch of swedish fish
what what would be your um last meal last supper you're death row, you get one more meal. You get an appetizer, an entree, and a dessert, and a drink.
Okay.
The appetizer would be probably like a big bowl of guac and chips,
and that has to be perfect ratio.
Like, let every dip, let there be a chip.
Then I would have penne alla vodka for the entree,
and then for dessert, I would have a full Carvel ice cream cake to my face.
What's your drink?
Um...
And I'll give you like a, you can have like a wine, if you will.
You get like a soft drink and like an alcoholic drink if you want it.
Um, um, um, um, um, um, um.
I'm a weirdo when I eat ice cream.
I love to drink water.
So I definitely need water on deck.
But, ah. Would you do the lemonade? I do a po when I eat ice cream. I love to drink water, so I definitely need water on deck.
Would you do lemonade?
I'd do a pina colada.
Wow, I did not see that coming.
Penne vodka with your pina colada.
Wow.
That is something.
Amazing. I love it. All right, well, we we're gonna let you go because you got plenty
else to do but we've got you know the jewelry we've got the swimsuits the swimsuit issues out
wipe out the movie free guy that's my birthday by the way if you want to wish me a happy birthday
when it comes out that's okay friday the 13th no it's actually august 14th i lied but it's the same
same weekend the Opening weekend.
What are you doing to celebrate?
I am actually going on a bachelor party that weekend.
I'm very selfless of me to allow
them to have a bachelor party on my birthday weekend.
I guess you're not throwing
a birthday party for your fiance.
Interesting. Really interesting.
So it turns out you don't have any plans. Good.
Alright, love. Thank you so much as always
I love talking with you guys thanks guys
bye
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