KFC Radio - Tommy Pope and Chris O'Connor are Challenging Themselves to Try Babe Ruth's Diet - Full Episode

Episode Date: October 13, 2022

Tommy Pope and Chris O'Connor join us today for one h*ll of an episode talking about - Feits is going to London - falling in love with strippers - the Hawaiian punch flavors you drank as a kid show weather your dad loves you or not - Babe Ruth's wild diet that began with a pint of Whisky in the morning - Martha Stewart might be the first hot chick - don't catch Tommy on a day he works out and cleans a dish - and much MUCH more +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Freedom Grooming: Go to https://barstool.link/FreedomGroomingKFC for 20% off. Curve: Sign up at https://barstool.link/CurveBSS to receive $20 in Curve Cash. Terms and Conditions Apply. Manscaped: Get 20% off and free shipping with code KFC at https://barstool.link/ManscapedBSS Thursday Boot Co.: Go to https://barstool.link/ThursdaybootsKFC and try a pair today with free shipping & free returns SiriusXM App: Get your first 3 months for free of the Sirius XM App when you visit https://barstool.link/SXMKFC to sign up. Offer Details apply MVMT: Join the MVMT and get 15% off at https://barstool.link/MvmtKFCYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. In between the two suppers, he had four more hot dogs and four more bottles of Coca-Cola. Dude, who works harder than his asshole? That's gotta be... It's too bad they didn't have any low-cal Hawaiian cards. He didn't wash the head down. How about the

guy who... It was just around the corner. He could have cleaned the whole guy up. Three more, 300 more home runs.

Are you ready? I was telling them that the same friend who texted me yesterday texted me yesterday morning that he's like because we were at a wedding and we just got really fucked up and he texted me yesterday morning and he was like hey I really think I'm going to quit drinking like it's too I'm going to quit drinking it's too bad now we stopped drinking

on Sunday it's Tuesday I'm still not feeling great and then see you Thursday within six hours he texted me you want to go to London

this weekend for the Liverpool game and I haven't said no yet oh you're going no I was telling Nick that if I was supposed to go home to see my nephew

and stuff like that, and if I wasn't going to do that, I would go. And I'm still not 100% out, but I still also have those flights to London that I have to stay. You're going. I'm just talking to myself. Stop fucking pretending. I said by the end of this podcast, John's going to London. Yeah, I mean, Tommy will come in here.

You're going to London. I mean, look at the little twinkle come in here. You're going to life. I mean, look at the little twinkle in his eye. He's fucking going. I honestly don't think I am, but I want to. No, because here's what's, the only thing holding you back right now is that it's your nephew. Yes. But you're also going to come to this realization where it's like, that baby's so young. He doesn't even know me.

It would just be for me. Oh, I'm going to see my mom and my sister. Yeah, that's what I mean. And then, so it's like, I'll come home like the next weekend, guys. So what's the point of living this life if you don't just go to London? Go to the fucking Liverpool? I'm going to tell him maybe. Just jump to the fucking VIP tickets to Liverpool, man. Come on.

You're going. He's got the tickets already? Oh, you're definitely going then. I thought it was like, let's buy tickets and go. No, he forgot he had them. He's like, fuck, I forgot I have Liverpool tickets. Let me catch up to speed. This clown's going to London this weekend, and he's trying to pretend like he's not.

He's fucking going. His buddy tried to quit drinking. Within six hours, he texts him, oh, wait, never mind. I've got VIP tickets to Liverpool. You want to go to London this weekend? And John's like, maybe you're going. For what? Just be honest with yourself.

I'm trying to be honest with you. I don't want to go. Oh, that's such a fucking lie! I want to go. I don't want to be the guy who goes. You don't want to disappoint your mom and your sister. I don't want to be the person I am. I'd fucking rather do that. The only thing that can stop you from going

is focusing on the hangover in... Yeah, coming back. You think you were bad this week? Yeah, yeah, yeah. When you're halfway around the world, and you're like, what did I just do?

Why am I here? If you go to Liverpool, you won't be back until next weekend. The following weekend. You'll just do the episodes from London. What's the problem?

I'm fucking lost. Okay, so he went to a wedding this weekend. This is a good topic to have you guys on for. I think specifically you. It's not you guys. I'm just fucking sorry. This is also 100% the wrong. Nobody doesn't get hangover depression like this guy.

He doesn't even understand what you're talking about. He genuinely does not. Dude, I swear to God, it is the most frustrating thing in the world. You get dark, right? He's in a cave underneath his bed. He goes underground like a fucking hobbit.

He, nobody... You just bounce back? More than bounces back. I get better. I get stronger. You have to like work it out or like you just – your hangover is gone. No, I have to work out in the morning. You just have like discipline and you get fucked up but then you work it out.

It takes decades of training to get to this fucking level. I don't know. You got to earn it. Yesterday I was so bad that I was doing – I was getting up and I was doing 10 push-ups and I was getting back in bed. And then I would like will myself to get up and do yesterday yesterday we did our pocket we did an interview and then we had to do our fucking like trivia show that we do here and that kept getting pushed back and he just sat with his head on the microphone and he would go

and then so the next day I come in and I'm doing an ad read and I uh I was gonna take a swig of whiskey for it and I'm like like this one's not opened I'm doing an ad read and I was going to take a swig of whiskey for it. And I'm like, this one's not opened. I was like, this one's not. I was like, where's the open one that was like full to here? And everyone was like, well, John drank that. He drank the whole bottle. Not the whole bottle.

It was three quarters of a bottle. Was this the cure previous time? Yes. And that backfired. So that was one day. And then yesterday was the day I didn't drink. He went to a wedding that was like a four-day fucking royal wedding affair. Where, Qatar? Who the fuck has four-day weddings?

It was in Sea Island, Georgia. It was a private island. There was a, you know how you show up on like Friday and there's like a happy hour? Yeah, yeah, yeah. There was a tennis tournament. Tennis match tournament. Yeah. I don't even know what they're called.

I've never heard of that. How white are these people? Super. Super white. I went and said hi to the tennis tournament and then we went right to the bar. That was at like, I don't know, 9. How white are these feet? Super. Super white. I went and said hi to the tennis tournament, and then we went right to the bar. That was at like, I don't know, 9.30 a.m. It was every day, like 9.30 to 4 a.m. drinking. Big time drinking, big time hangovers afterwards to the point that a few of the group were like,

I mean it this time, man. I think I got to take a step back and drink. But then the same guy that said that also was like, wait a minute. I forgot I have vip tickets to london uh to liverpool you want to go to london he also his his sister just had a baby so he's supposed to go home and see the baby i'm telling you this right now i think i'm thinking back to the we're talking what a few weeks old uh yeah i would say yeah like it's so stupid then like it's just it's stupid you're just feeding them and putting them to bed.

There's no playing. You say you have COVID. That actually might be it. I got to go to London. Just bring back a baby Liverpool jersey. I'm genuinely thinking that. I'm a dude, so whatever. I'm just going to text, did you sell those tickets yet?

Because he asked me. I was like, dude, I don't think I'm just going to text did you sell those tickets yet? because he asked me I was like dude I don't think I can do it if you were to text your mom and sister like you know like some shit has come up but like I'll come

you know I can't come this weekend I think they'd be like okay fine oh they would 1000% be but I just don't want to be who cares here's what's going to happen

we're going to do the podcast my mom called me on the cab on the way here I didn't answer I'm going to call her on the way home and I'm going to say I think I'm going to go to London

and she's going to go that sounds great yes so then you can say I didn't even know you were coming home this week right so then't answer. I'm going to call her on the way home and I'm going to say, I think I'm going to go to London and she's going to go, that sounds great. Yes. She's going to say, I didn't even know you were coming home this week. Right. So then we're done.

You're going to London. Yeah. Also. Bro, I just want to tell you, man, there's going to come a time where, well, maybe there won't come a time. I don't know.

But think about, for other people, there's a time, their life, you can't just pick up and go to fucking London. Yeah, I know. As much as you hate

how much this song is, Have you been to London before? Never before. All right. Dude, dude, dude, dude,. Yeah, I know. As much as you hate how much this song Have you been to London before? Never before. All right, well, dude, dude, dude, dude, hold on, hold on. This is an emergency. Is this the strip club?

The strip clubs are extremely dangerous, dude. I'm telling you. What happened? Dude. I can't can't. Shane and I, Shane and I,

we went, we saw Dave Chappelle live. We were like, met Chappelle, We saw Dave Chappelle We met Chappelle Hung out with Chappelle Greatest night ever Should have just gone home We leave the theater That's funny because I've heard that story

But you didn't tell me the rest of it We spoke to Bloch That was it Then there was just a guy in a rickshaw Outside of the theater. And I'm like, yo. Thank you. This guy's just like, let's go.

We'll go to the strip club. And Shane's like, let's not do this. And I'm like, come on, man. Let's see what it's like. Dude, they literally like, it's like you get sucked in. They throw you at a table. They start like just doing, you're doing coke off their tits. I swear to God, In less than three minutes

You're like You don't even know What's happening They're big British titties Dude yeah England is a big time Titty world They have no ass

But they got tits I swear to god In 30 minutes Shane and I Had racked up Like a $2,000 bill And we were like What the fuck is happening

We didn't even like You're not paying for all that You don't realize it right Your face is in their tits But it's like It's a brilliant marketing You're paying for that coke Dude

One time I got a lap dance For like six straight songs But they were like quarter songs Doesn't matter So I thought it was like Start and finish Start and finish Like 350

Dude I'm telling you You know what For what It was like A minute and a half This was like You walk into the bar And three girls Came up to each of us First of all They separated us Immediately It was like a minute and a half of a song. This was like you walk into the bar and three girls came up to each of us.

First of all, they separated us. It was like, dude, we were moving like Navy SEALs, dude. They were just like fucking. They know exactly what to do. They grabbed us. We wound up both at different tables. It was like, what the fuck? Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

Help! And then the man, oh, help, dude. He literally was exactly like. he doesn't even do coke he's doing ketamine on some black girl I've never tried this shit before help me I swear to god all of a sudden the girls were just like yeah that's like

that's 750 pounds and I was like wait what no and then the meanest madman in the world came around and just browbeat us until we paid up dude it was horrific that sounds exactly like what you do the guy he's going with has has been a part of this pot he should he should just be a part of the show yeah he is such a wild one uh he he he emptied his 401k to go to vegas one time just has like a 25 year old kid just for no fucking reason and then the guy on the phone was

like are you sure you want to do this like you're gonna pay like you know a 75 penalty you're gonna lose like everything you've ever earned for it ended up being for like three grand to get to vegas yeah and then he goes well if you're gonna do this i fire you as my client and then his accountant fired nah i'm doing it the accountant fired him. Nah, I'm doing it. His accountant fired him. Like, I will no longer do your books because you're so stupid. He's that kind of guy. So you go to London with him, you're going to end up like that in a fucking rickshaw.

Dude, there was one time he called me. He called me on like a Tuesday morning at like 930 in the morning. And like, you answer that call because what the fuck else? Like, it's got to be something important. And he's like, bro, I just got fucking fired and I was like no shit like what happened it's like I don't know some shit about me never coming in dress code not coming on time my numbers not being good and my expense account too high wait I was like so every single thing. Do you remember? His expense account number was a comically over number. He worked at a very big national company,

and he had the second largest expense account in the country. It was like the CEO, then him, a mid-level employee. You got to spend money to make me. He just kept golfing. I'm out of your ground in the pavement, dude. During COVID, he just kept golfing. So he just kept your brain. You're pounding the pavement, dude. During COVID, he just kept golfing. So he just kept going out. And he was the only guy left who was fucking still on the golf course paying.

So he just kept racking it up. Like, everybody. It's business. It's business. It's business. So you'll for sure. What? I text him.

Did you sell the tickets? He goes, not yet. Why? You're gone. Give me the phone. Why didn't you call him? Open the Delta app. Call him. Nobody knows his voice. Did you look up flights?

I have not looked up flights, but I have a lot of... This guy has the tickets from a canceled COVID thing. Let's fucking do it right now. It's free. Let's do it right. When is it? This weekend? This weekend, yeah. So I have to leave Friday.

Bell can't sit luckily. Dude, if it was next weekend, I'd go with you. Yo, what up? I've had a thing with Mark. Yes, yes, he has, bruhs. He has. He's firing me as the co-host. You're going to London.

You want to do a little day trip to London and see this game? Yeah, not even a day trip. Make it a whole weekend. We've got to do a weekend if we're going to do it. I mean, totally, dude. I literally just flew back into San Francisco right today so I can hop on a flight Friday

and get to New York and get to London. He's going to go to San Francisco and New York and London for a day. Okay, I've got to make one more call. I'm on the podcast right now. We're talking about it. He's got to call his mom.

And everyone's like, you're a fucking idiot. Of course you're going to this. What other call do you have to make? I got called my mommy. And I got left. I was kidding. Better to ask for forgiveness than permission.

No, it's actually that he has to ask for money because his mom controls his money, too. Really? I'm going to give you a shout in like three hours. I will have an official answer then. But boy, I think we're going to London, baby. That's so funny. Mom, I got to liquidate some assets. How much do I got left in my cocaine budget?

Okay, wait, no, don't buy it yet. Because I think I have enough to cover our flights from New York. I think I have like a shitload of miles that I have to spend by December 31st so let me check that first all right I'll catch you later the most important thing in my wallet right now is my curve card because it basically is my wallet I can take my debit cards my credit cards all of them throw them out the window put them all into one place here with curve you swipe this card you insert it just like everything else and then after the fact when you're done paying the bill you can

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I'm so jealous of this. And this is shit that I would never do even if I was single and like had no kids and everything. I'd probably be like, I'm just going to sit

on the couch all weekend. But when you can't do it and you see someone do it, it's like, oh. You have to go. You have to go. You have to go. And go to the strip clubs on purpose.

Have you ever done it? Just so you know, you have to find a new podcast host. I'll die. That's fine. I want you to go out in a blaze of glory. Dude, I'm just telling you, be on guard. Handcuff yourself to your friend when you walk into a strip club so they can't divide you. At least for the first 20 minutes.

And that sounds extreme, but every strip club, they know they spot the one guy who's like, hey guys, let's not do this. Don't spend money. They get him the fuck out of there. They find the mark who's spending all the money. Chris probably walked in with a bag of merch from London.

Welcome to London t-shirt. We're going gonna rack him yeah my body language says take this guy take him every strip club

I've ever walked into they pluck me off and they just throw me in a room they're incredible they are first of all Santino and I

went to a strip club in Vegas immediately they just grabbed me you're gone if you go to good ones first of all they're like

fucking acrobats they're not even dancers they're fucking fucking acrobats. They're not even dancers. They're fucking Olympians. They're actors. They're businesswomen. They're fucking – Yeah, criminals. Let's get to the fucking good stuff.

They're amazing. I want to marry them. That's why, I mean, you fall in love with the right stripper. You should – he had another stripper who – Sapphire. She's got Sapphire. She had her name. I saw her number, I think. It was like, you know, when people say, like, the stripper likes me Sapphire. She had Sapphire. She had her name. I saw her number, I think.

It was like, you know when people say like, the stripper likes me. Yeah, right. No, but this was like the real deal. Yeah, yeah. She knew who he was. She was like, are you famous? Yeah, Jacqueline from Sapphire. He played a coy.

He played a coy the whole time, and then she pulled up a video of him and was like, no, this is you. And I was like, oh, yeah. And he just never did anything with it. I pulled one from her. No, because what happened was like... The phone was dying, right? That was the 1%.

That was the 1%. But then the next day, I don't know how I found her pictures, but I did somehow. It wasn't her Instagram because I'd still follow her. My Facebook. I wouldn't unfollow her.

She found you on Facebook. You probably found Jacqueline on your comments or something. That might have been what it was. At once she wasn't hot. And she was not what I remembered. That also happens sometimes. Dude, there's still a stripper in Indianapolis named Paris that I'm deeply in love with.

Dude, I searched the Facebook page of the strip club and the Instagram of the strip club. Just be like, please tag her. I sat outside the dumpster for hours. Please tag her in something. I took one home in Virginia once. It was my biggest accomplishment. I mean, yeah, actually conquering

that is pretty fucking awesome. You got a meet at a train station? They do, but you can't take them out of the club.

Oh, so she left, you left. It was a work event when I had a real job and me and my then boss got into town really early. It was like a big

corporate event that night. We got in at like three and he was sober. So this maniac wants to go to a strip club sober. And he's ripping like 30 reds. Does he have like wife and kids and shit? Yeah. No kids, a wife.

Okay. Yeah, no longer a wife. This story gets fucking crazy. I can't tell the whole thing because I don't know if... Yes, you can. Well, yeah, I can. Yes, you can. Too late.

He's going to London. You can tell the story. No, it is. Whiskey bottles are rattling I'm salivating I'm like tell the fucking story Dude it's like Pavlov's drunk It's a sound the whole podcast Alright can we get some cups

I'll take a shot I did it I know I did it. Can we get some cups? I called this whole thing with you. Mick called it and I said, we better not.

So we sit down. The lights are still on. All the strippers, there's only like three or four of them setting up tables and shit. So we're sitting down having good conversations.

So I got to get to know this girl. And then it got to like four. The thing was supposed to start at five. I look at him and he's like, yeah, we'll stretch it. It goes to six. He's like, we don't have to show got to like four the thing was supposed to start at five or look at all he's like yeah we'll stretch it it goes to six he's like we don't have to show up to like seven

so we just never gonna hurt now yeah yeah never showed up i'm talking about personally i was like glasses i was like uh so i know i i know this is a no-no and i was like maybe you know come out come out with me and, like, come back, you know? It was like so – Think about it from her point of view. It's like we can do this and I can get money for it or we can do this and I could not get money for it. Yeah, of course. And she left early.

It was like 10 p.m. And she's like, look, I've also never done this. And I was like, I kind of believe you because I know how hard it is to do this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So this is like a – this is a notch that I know will probably never happen again. For sure, for sure. And she's like, the problem is the bouncer has to drive me out of here. And then I have to grab my car and I have to meet at the strength station.

Now I'm asking my boss. I would go to the end of the earth for this one. Oh, my God. Now I have to ask my boss who's like rattling on like 30 fucking Red Bulls. This is like Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy. I'm going to leave a briefcase at the airport. Here's the end of the story.

So I had no idea this guy was a recovering alcoholic. No one told me in the company. So over the course of the next month and a half, two months, he slowly unravels. This guy was like asking me to go to like bachelor parties But he would drive behind the bus and shit

I was only 23 or 24 so he wants to hang out with us and just like you know be part of the system without booze He starts drinking nippers at work. Oh Going to the fuck and he would be so drunk and out of his mind He'd be like we're gonna have to go to the library he would say stuff like that oh let's go to the library that's how up he was he didn't know he didn't he thought he was hiding how drunk he was meanwhile he's eating chinese like shirtless when we showed up by the way by the way i had nine pork gyozas for breakfast cheers cheers cheers cheers to whistle to Whistlepig. He was throwing up at lunch and shit,

and then slowly his wife left him. But you think that night was like the... I saw the signs, but I didn't... If one of those people were like, hey, this guy's a recovering alcoholic and he's on a thread right now. You almost got to wear a badge or something. Yeah.

These carnival events where all he needs is one fucking push. I took him on like seven parties. I turned this guy's life upside down. Guy's divorced. Do you know where he's at now? I have no idea. Is he alive?

There was one time I was in. So he got fired, got divorced? You know what the fucked up thing is? This guy's probably still a fan of Tommy. Of course. He's never had a good time for two months. I pushed him back to the life he wanted. I got that boring bitch out of his life. Guy was living in like Roxborough

for fuck's sake. But I was in like some town like north of where he used to live and I was in some random ass bar. I don't know why. I don't know what the fuck. And I looked to the left and I saw a guy that looked exactly like him drinking in a bar and looked exactly like I'm drinking it apart And I was like I turned white

I was so nervous Cause I was kind of upset You gotta write a book About this guy I was upset Cause everybody lied to me And it was like This guy was like

My hero and shit And then he just went Completely fucking Wait why You think he was sober If he didn't drink He thought he just never drank Yeah he's just like

I don't drink anymore He just like lied to me Everybody in the office Knew he was a recovering alcoholic. His best friends and who was a woman who was part of management and shit.

Crazy. Upper level management. This guy came in at pharmaceuticals and started in finance because he sold this small portion of his company

so he had a shit load of money. So I thought he was a big wig and I was like, oh, this guy's a great guy to, you know, a little tutelage. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Different type of tutelage.

I sometimes wonder if we had normal jobs. Like what? I would never have a normal job. No. If I had a normal job, I'd be dead by now. You would tell yourself? I don't know if I'd kill myself, but it would be like I would have gotten fired already.

Because when we were talking to Steve-O, he's like, I just knew I could never work a normal. Yeah. Yeah, and I've known that since I when I landscaping one summer Morning it's a normal job. Yeah, this is landscaping with mics. Landscaping was fun. Landscaping was dope, but I just knew I had to wake up every morning. I had to be there every morning. Anything that lines up with elementary school hours is undoable. Because you're just like, you wake up, you have to be there at a certain time.

You get a little recess, and then you back. It's hell. What am I, 10 again? That I think, like I knew the guy, I had one dude I worked with that I would have like, like we,

we were there for like four or five years together and in the first year we identified each other as like, we'll be drinking buddies and as the second year

we like talk shit about everybody. Third, you know, and I just imagine by like 10 years we'd be fucking out of control. Yeah.

Because it would be like, we're so miserable. And we're all each other's got. And we'd be at strip clubs. And we'd probably like kill a man by now. You know. I just don't know where it would have gone. Yeah. If you're so miserable outside of work, you got to scratch that itch somehow.

And who knows how to do it, you know. Eight or nine years, I corporate. No shit. What did you do? I started as an engineer Then I went to Consulting IT consulting

Wow And then advertising I slowly took like Less You know Less And now you're just doing this Yeah

Since 2006 8 2008 Or 9 Since 2008? You've just been doing this? 9

Yeah 8 or 9 Crazy But you 2009 Stop Island just started or nine. Since 2008? You've just been doing this? Nine. Yeah, eight or nine. Crazy. But you, but stuff, stuff, stuff, stuff Island just started. Yeah,

yeah, yeah. So, but you've been doing podcasting and other shit since? No, I started stand-up 2009 and then I got it.

Got it, got it. Then we started. I was going to say, stuff Island is a lot worse. But you're not, you're not up on stage? Do you stand-up now?

I just did for the first time last Friday. You got back out there? Yeah. It was good. Yeah. Because I thought, when we,

when everybody first connected, I thought you were still up there because and when you said you weren't I was like why fucking not I know five years off

yeah that's a long time man baby's back though yeah well you know what's interesting is all these fucking everything I ever hear

from these comics is they need it they have to go up there yeah yeah no I don't want to do it it's ridiculous it's so gay

I gotta get up seven times a week and if I don't want to do it anymore. It's ridiculous. It's so gay. I've got to get up seven times a week. If I don't, I slap my body. And if you meet somebody that thinks like that, trust me, you don't like them. They are terrible people. Meet that motherfucker in a green room, you want to kill yourself.

You want to work corporate. I can't. Wait until it starts going well again. Tommy will be right back in. I fucking need it. I can't imagine. I can't imagine. How many sets you got tonight? Shut up.

Dude, anytime we go to a bar and there's some hot chick in the bar, Tommy's like, look at this fucking piece of shit. She thinks it's all fucking. And then she'll come up and be like, hey, how's it going? And he'll be like, dude, she's actually really smart. She's actually grounded. Did you get that? When you're throwing up words like grounded,

you're really trying to win your friends over. It'll be the same thing with stand-up, where he's like, fuck that shit. Fuck that. And then as soon as he's going to... Well, it's also different because I'm with you, and it's like we can control. Now that we have fans and like...

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a different experience. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's totally different than being like open mic shit. it was like a sold out club yeah all that yeah it was so i was listening to just stephano on uh bobby keller bobby kelly on just seven oh and they were talking about um chris was just talking about how fucking like gay the industry has gotten he was like you know he used to sit back i guess it's the comedy uh the cellar table they always talk about that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it was like the old veterans and everybody's busting each other's balls. And now that doesn't exist anymore. And Bobby Kelly was like, yeah, because you guys are all fucking pussies. You're all fucking gay about it. And Chris told some story where they were at that table and somebody started talking about his kids. And it was really awkward. And Bobby was like, you should have said,

shut the fuck up. Nobody cares. Shut the fuck up. And then it would have been over. Instead, everybody's worried. So now the whole landscape has changed. I feel like people are doing so much other shit now too. Yeah, it's also not just the podcast.

Yeah, you're not just doing stand-up. Everyone's got to have a fucking podcast and be making all kinds of other content. You know what I mean? I feel like people much more now are doing spots and then just going. Going, leaving. I think DeStefano said that when we interviewed him a while back. He was like, yeah, since he started his podcast, I do a lot less stand-up now.

He's like, it's just like I can still scratch the itch a little bit, but also it's not. Also, it's mentally tiring. Yeah. It's also like he says less stand-up, but it's still every weekend the whole weekend. When he comes home, he does it less. I commend you guys, though, if I had, once I had any ounce of success, I'm not flying

to fucking Omaha and Idaho and shit. I'm hitting major markets and back home. Maybe not. Every weekend, they're like, here's $45,000. You're like, oh my gosh. I guess that's it. You're like, I really like it.

Once I have a routine set. Well, I don't know what my number, it's funny because it's like, I guess it's not enough money. If you're making a little bit of money, you go because you need it. Yeah. And then it becomes so much money that you go because you want yeah, it's just that well They're also the podcast, you know, I get this goes not to Chris as well as like Like you forget you said something about like you almost forget you're funny when you're not doing stand-up

So for five years before I started doing the podcast I was like, I don't even know if I want to do it Yeah anymore and then you do you do this for two hours and you're like non-stop fun people are like i i could do this yeah and then you meet other people that are doing well you're like what the fuck right i want to do that now you know so like you you a little time off a little low in stand-up you're like all right now i'm hungry i'm a different person i want to do it i have something to say we're like i gotta find some stuff to say that That's the hardest part. No,

that I can imagine like being a grind of like, you know, oh, that's a bit. Oh, that's a joke. And let me write that down.

Dude, I shut that down. Oh yeah, that is, that is, that is like an annoying thing. Yeah. When you're just like,

you're just doing the podcast and spots, you know what I mean? You're like, I haven't really lived at all. Yeah. Everything is scripted. Everything's material.

That's why you gotta go to London and learn something. Exactly, dude. You gotta get a stripper story ready for the stage. I'm so grateful for him because he comes with the stories. My story's like, my kids were being annoying to me. It's like, nobody cares. He's like, so I was dead in a gutter in London. I'm like, yes, hell, go.

On the mic, yes. But I picked myself backter in London. I'm like, guys, help. Go. On the mic. Yes. But I picked myself back up. Welcome to KFC and Party Tornado. One thing I absolutely hate, though, and that I hope it's changing and will fully change, is the idea that if you get big on the internet or have a big podcast and then succeed in stand-up, that it somehow is like you didn't pay your dues, you didn't earn it.

It's like I earned it by all these people on the internet thinking I'm funny. Yeah. And also other comics. It's huge. You know what I mean? I did Montreal.

I did other things. Leading up to that, I've known these comics for a decade. Right. But my thing, I don't care what, I don't care about that. You can fill a room with people, and they think you're funny because they found you doing like 10 minute sets

for 10 years, or one 10 minute video on the internet that blew up. Sorry guys. But come on dude, there also has to be a reason why I spent 10 years. And that's what it is. You can't tell me I was just

wasting my time somebody's catching the right hook it's gotta be no don't get me wrong that's gotta fucking stop yeah yeah

but for the next guy coming up to be like well no I'll just bang my head against the wall for 10 years because I have to it's like

or I'm just gonna make a video on Instagram just sit in my bedroom and that's not easy it's not magic the fucking two TikTok stars on the side of a helium I'm just going to make a video on Instagram. Yeah, just sit in my bedroom. And that's not easy either. It's not magic. The fucking rage scene.

Two TikTok stars on the side of a helium hot comic. Just slowly gripping. What I don't believe in is like those people shouldn't get like a Netflix special. That's fucking annoying because that's just bullshit like nepotism, politics, whatever. But if you can sell tickets, that's a direct thing. also then you earned it that's what the executives are thinking you're like right it's a million guaranteed downloads not granted it's a million waterheads you know 13 year old kids that don't know shit right it's money in their pocket yeah i mean until they until they we started where it was just Netflix very clearly doesn't care about quality no and that's not

all just with comedy i mean have you ever watched a Netflix movie? Do you remember when it used to be like the new Netflix thing is out? It was guaranteed to be good. It was auto-watch, instant watch because it was a drama, a comedy, a fucking two-hour movie. It was like, if it's out on Netflix, it's good. And now it's almost the opposite. What I learned is that...

Fucking algorithm, man. I read an article about how if you look up what the top ten most watched shows in every algorithm man here put another one in there will you I read an article about like how if you look up like what the top 10 most watched shows in every country are on

Netflix it's fucking insane they're all terrible right all terrible and it's like we have to learn what Netflix did

was they learned that the viewer treats us like a Saturday afternoon on the couch they're not really watching it so let's just give

them what they want which is garbage right but it's on and it counts it's like Diners, Drivers and Dies for a specific amount of time I'll fuck with Guy Fieri

for 12 hours straight are you kidding that's the best background music there is I've never seen an episode what? never seen an episode you didn't see that one

that is so disrespectful we used to watch Bar Rescue right I watched some Bar Rescue whatever everybody has their own thing I would like to beat the fuck out of Tapper.

You would love Tapper. I bet I would. Do you know his whole story, man? He invented NFL Red Zone. What? He came up with that and sold it for a billion dollars. I want to hug the shit out of Tapper. He came up with shit that...

I think he invented bar stools. He invented the modern bar as we know it. The way you sit. The rainstorm in the Rainforest Cafe. Yes. The rainstorm is him. Because it goes off every half hour. And when you hear it the second time, you're like, all right, time to get the fuck out of here.

And that turns the tables over. Holy shit. He's like real – Oh, look coming out of the – The mist? I got to quibble with this NFL. What do you mean

he invented NFL? He like invented the idea of, which I don't like, by the way, that was, I feel like every dude had that idea.

He like sold it to direct TV or whoever. He knew who to call. My uncle Donnie doesn't have so I guess he spent all the time in bars.

Yeah, he probably heard that a million times. Yeah, there's some guy going, I said they should only show touchdowns. What do you mean? But he made all of his money off of that and then flipped it into all these restaurants and bars. And there's a million stories like that.

He came up with this idea and that idea. He's a brilliant dude. And then we talked to him at the beginning of the pandemic. We were like, what does this mean for bars and restaurants that are on the close and da, da, da? And I asked him, I was like, are you just going to swoop in and buy all these places for pennies on the dollar? And he was like, yeah, probably. He's like, I want to be-

He's got to do really well in this pandemic. He was like, I'm not going to be predatory, but I'll buy all these people out and then flip them and turn them back into restaurants. And yeah. He was like, restaurants are going to go out of business. The kitchen is already built. I'm good to go. I'll swoop in right away.

Dude, that's fucking crazy. So there was a second reasoning for that show, for him hosting that show. He's just prospecting. Yeah, probably. A lot of that is those bars, they turn around. They last for six months, and then he probably goes in and buys them. Yeah. I mean, when you see some of those people, it's like, you're not going to keep this guy.

He's like, yeah, we were locals for years. We didn't want to see the doors shut permanently. So me and Donna decided, we're going to ask for some money and open the place up. We got onion rings. Exactly it.

We got chips and beef jerky. They got Budweiser too. Why is this place going down? It's like, yo, fuck face. Those are my favorite episodes. It's like a Roach Hotel. Gordon Ramsey's like, he's like, yo, fuck face. Those are my favorite episodes. It's like a Roach Hotel. Gordon Ramsey's like, he's like,

120 entrees? What the fuck were you thinking? You know, I don't know. Dude, eating at a dive bar is my favorite thing. We went to a dive bar this summer

where it is like the diviest dive bar in history. The one we went to. The Westport Social Club in Massachusetts. You went to that. Oh, yeah. Oh, this is the best yeah this place is the best but they all the only thing they serve like you said is they have chips and they have stuffed quahogs yeah and it's not the kind of place you should eat fish at what the fuck is a quahog it's like a big clam oh my god you're eating clams at a VFW

the one you're always throwing up in the trash can the only thing I'll give him is that it's still so bad they're like everyone's like yeah no fucking shit you got food poisoning from it and then ate it again as leftovers the only thing i'll give him is that it's like cute kind of near a river so it like is near ocean. I mean, Westport is on the ocean. The restaurant, the bar itself is a little setback. It's more about

the turnover of how often are people buying these quahogs. This place was the best. A quahog. Look at this Philly trap. They don't even know what a quahog is. It's the town from Family Guy. Yeah.

Oh, okay. There you go. This place was... Tell them in cartoon terms. Let this fucking idiot know. I had no idea. Will you take me? Yeah, we'll bring it. It's a great bar. We went in. We brought... It was him and his sister's birthday.

So a lot of young people showed up, like young girls. And there's not that very often. Well, there was an old lady who was not happy about this. And she was like, I'll beat all your asses, basically. Said some really, like, really rude shit. I was like, whoa. It's the kind of bar where people are outright racist. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

She's like, what are you, a black girl in the bar? Yeah. That's not a made up line. It was like something along those lines of what she said. Yeah, it, yeah. She's like, what are you, a black girl in the bar? Yeah. That's not a made-up line. It was like something along those lines of what she said. Yeah, it's like seeing someone from the future. There's no windows, right? There are no windows. Are you one of them?

From the TV? You're darker than a peach. Sit down here, darling. Try one of my cohobs. I remember on the wall was all these like printed out just just printer paper not like pictures but pictures of people on like eight and a half by eleven just looking again like time traveling they looked like they were just from like the 90s and early 2000s just pinned up on the wall yeah and me being the asshole that I am I'm like what are like who are these people you know and I

walk up to it and I start looking at it basically ready like go back to the bar and make fun of whoever they were yeah And the bar owner comes up to me And he's like these are all the people that we've smuggled out of um of the ukraine like for the war We were raising money and like and like I was like I've never felt like a bigger asshole in my life. His girlfriend lives in Ukraine, and she works for the state. And so if she leaves, they fucking kill her. So she can't leave.

But her daughter and family and all this. And at the local VFW, they raised like two grand to get them home. Holy shit. Or home, not home, like out of there. And I was like, oh, I was going to make fun of their haircut. I'll go kill myself now. I guess they've been a little busy with the war.

They just put them on a ship and cover them in cox. Every now and then you just hear a puke under a pile. Why am I getting food poisoning? We got a fat body puking under the quarks.

Dude, I used to... I grew up going to this Polish-American club. I was a card-carrying member because my brother's best friend was a Polack. Polish-American club? Like kind of like an Elk Club sort of thing? Like an Italian-American club? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And you go down steps, but it was like no hours. You know what I mean? It went to like four or five in the morning in Philly. It's Delco. It's like a big's like it's a yeah you go wherever you want and they were like if you walked in there with like guys your age at like 20 21 22 they were like all the heads would shift from like their asses planted for yeah there was nowhere to sit because everybody had their own

station yeah there's one guy had like one tooth we called him a can opener couldn't you remember the old school Hawaiian punch cans? You'd have to punch him. Just pop his fucking head. But they were so wildly openly racist. It was just beyond belief. If they smell cologne on you, you're like, this gay stuff.

Kill this guy going out in public. I feel like that's even, what are you, under 40? You're gay. That's coming for us all. Also, I was wearing this shirt. He wasn't far off. Those places are, I think,

built for that reason. They drink out of plastic cups. If they're drinking out of plastic cups, that's good stuff. Keep your wits about you. They have this system because they're so, that's all they do is drink all day long in the same stools. They only know five people, whoever's to the left or right of them. They're disgusting human beings for the most part.

Good people down deep. You've got to dig for it, but they're there. They have this system where they have wooden chips. That's how you get somebody a drink. Oh, yeah. There's no fucking – They have little – Little wooden chips.

Yeah, yeah. There there's no fucking... They have like little... Little wooden chips. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But there's no money exchange. So it's all for a release of endorphins. They'll go, yeah, get two for Carol down there on me. And then fucking... It was a donation, right? No.

Well, they would just tip at the end, but like the guy wouldn't pull money going, yo, this one's on Don. You know what I mean? They would just give it to him. They'd be like, this next one is on Frank. And then Frank would be like, yeah.

They're like best friends. You just wouldn't pay any money because they're like $2 drinks. And you go to get a liquor drink, and it's like 90% fucking, it's a fastball, we call it. 75% liquor, and it just splashes something. And I'm like, it's good. Thank you. You don't have to doing me any favors. Yeah,

that's those exact wooden chips at this bar and I still have like two of them because someone came up to me, that guy who wouldn't leave us alone that night has given me multiple wooden chips

over the years, over the years, over the months and I was like, this guy is such a nice guy. He's buying me all these drinks. I haven't turned any in because I just think

they're cool little, you know, like a little token. Right, yeah. I just take them home with me. I'm like, I'll buy my own $1.50 drink. I got it.

I think this is cool to have. Oh, big city guy. Dude, I did that once. We went down to a wedding in Clemson, and it was like we were broke. I was probably 22. I don't even think I was making a paycheck. I was getting – Dave would put a fucking check in the mail and just send it. Maybe, if you're lucky. lucky yeah once every couple months yeah and i went down there and like it was a wedding

and i didn't know anyone at the wedding and i was like i kind of want to fit in and i get myself a beer and they're like that's a dollar and i was like oh okay i'll just buy everyone's fucking drinks all night and they'll love me and i was like i was like the whole night's on me boys yeah dude the best walked out of that wedding like the coolest guy in the fucking world. I remember I went back to Fordham like once. I didn't want to be the guy who lingers around too long, but I went back like one time after having money where it was like $4 pitchers and fucking $3 buckets,

and you feel like a god. It's all on me. It's like a $400 tab for the whole night. Yeah. I mean, it's like, you'll never feel better, like cooler. Yeah. No matter, you know,

whatever the circumstances are, you feel like the man. I'm still waiting for Shane to buy his cars like Oprah. Guys, go outside. Here's some keys. Let's do it. And he's telling his friends,

his other rich friends, like, it was nothing. These guys went wild. Who's keys? You read those? I even... nothing. These guys went wild. Who gives a shit? I even forgot how cheap Philly is. Yeah, it's unbelievable. Dude, when we went back there for this show, like, our guys that were, like, make our merch and selling our shit were there. Just, like, drinking a ton.

And I was like, we were like, we'll pick up the tab. And I was like, this will probably be, like, $200 or $300. It was, like, $54.90. Yeah, I know. I was like, what? Where were we recently? It might have been that bar. I don't know.

Wherever I was, I remember being like, no, no, no. I meant like all of it. Yes. And they were like, you know, $34.50. Oh, yeah, it was that bar. I mean, my drinks plus theirs. I'm like, yeah, I know. Oh, and then because that woman, I was just leaving, like, $50

tips, because I was like, I expected this to be $80. It's $30. I'll give it to you. Not even once did she, like, change her demeanor. Like, I was thinking, like, she's gonna come over. What do you need? Like, I got you. Wait a minute. You know, this guy, he's the king of this place. She was like, thank you. Like, I'm never gonna see you again,

City Slicker. Fuck you. I got the one-tooth can opener. I gotta see you every week. I gotta pay attention to him. again, City Slicker. Fuck you. I got the one-tooth can opener that I see every week. I got to pay attention to it. This guy brings the money. Both the Pearl Jam, both the Pearl Jam, and now, oh yeah,

both the Pearl Jam and now the Red Hot Chili Peppers concert at the Apollo are now live on the SiriusXM app. If you like good music, you can't miss these shows. The kicker,

you can sign up and listen to these shows on the SiriusXM app and get your first three months for free. Enjoy ad-free music channels for every genre and every artist-dedicated channel. Stay informed with world-class news from every angle and hear the brightest stars in entertainment with original talk and exclusive comedy on the SiriusXM app.

I'll be honest. I would love to. I like to watch concerts on TV. I mean, we're doing full live shows. Yeah, like that's incredible. Bro, if you don't know about full live shows, they're so much better than albums. You turn all your lights down. OAR, 34th and 8th, come the fuck on.

Turn all your lights down, bro. That's the album. Like, you know, put the volume up. You're in your spot. You're watching them from the couch. You get the vibe. You get the emotion from the crowd. You know what?

It's so much better. It's better than being on the nosebleeds. You know what I mean? Yeah. yeah you got first row seats fine anytime otherwise you're like getting in they're zooming in on the drummer they're getting backstage you hear the music you hear the crowd and you never leave never need to leave your house get it at the serious xm app and subscribe at seriousxm.com slash kfc radio to get the first three months for free. All for details apply. How sick was cracking the Hawaiian punch, though? Dude, I used to fight my family.

Dude, and the gum side? Just two triangles? What's an IQ test? You gotta do the other side. Put a tiny one on the other side. Yeah, because you gotta give a clear differential between the spout and the breathing hole. What color are you rocking with? Oh, just red.

Straight up. I mean, you need something else in red? Oh, blue, baby. There was no blue. How old are you? Oh, yeah. No, there's blue. Oh, there's blue, baby.

This comes up a lot with Kevin. Are you talking about how old are you? Hold on. You're about children because you have children, right? So like childhood, there was no different color. Yeah, no, no. It was absolutely blue. When I was a kid, I drank blue.

Look it up. Wait. Fire up when blue Hawaiian Punch came out. I don't want to step in shit here, but did you have a dad? Post-2000. What kind of dad lets their son get blue Hawaiian Punch? It's gotta be post-9-11. That's the differentiator?

The world changed. I don't know if you've been reading this. I heard Lee Green would sing about it, dude. Wait, how about this? When do you think Hawaiian Punch just in general came out? What year? I'll say... It's got to be 40s.

I was going to say 60s. I was going to say 60s. 60 sounds good. 34. Whoa! You were close. I would not have guessed. It's a World War II.

Dude, it came in a spaghetti can. Why'd they get rid of it? That was in case they dropped the nuke on us and brought that downstairs. Dude, first of all... That is 100% a soldier's drink. That was in case they dropped the nuke on us and brought that downstairs. Dude, first of all. That is 100% a soldier's drink. I was just going to say, that's like the African children being served like cocaine to go fight in the war. Give them a spaghetti can full of fucking sugar. These dudes are ripping fighting the Germans in bunkers.

So it came out. I bet it was like Yeah I bet it was sent To dudes in the Pacific Sometime in 2054 I bet it was like A German thing Like if you see red lips

Above the top Motherfuckers on one He'll kill the whole village That's Captain America That's a super soldier Just hunker down And wait for it to pass He sold his sugar rush.

Dude, you would also be stunned how many flavors there are. All of these flavors. It started out as rosy red. Two more flavors. Rosy red and sunshine yellow. 1966, they added orange and grape. 67, they go cherry, strawberry, lemonade.

69, they do fruit juicy red low calorie That's when shit got gay 79? So it was like free love and fucking low calories Cherry in 71, 75 They came out with a bunch of cans 75 they also came out with drink mix flavors

Like against the pouch or whatever And then post 1980 is just like everything. I think it was. I apologize. I think it was. But I do think it was like nine. Like, I think it was a thing when I was a kid. Like, they came out with a new flavor.

Yeah. So it wasn't like they always had it. I thought the packets were all Kool-Aid, not wine. Blue Typhoon. I can't believe they had fucking low-cal in 69. I know. That's insane. That's insane, right?

I didn't even know they knew what calories were in 69. Exactly, yeah, yeah. You eat steak and you eat potatoes and that was it. Dude, did you see the thing the other day

about Babe Ruth diet? I mean, I've seen it a million times. It's hot dogs and hookers. Dude, it was. I'm going to pull it up. It was, because someone was like,

let's do the Babe Ruth challenge and I actually would fuck with the Babe Ruth challenge. Probably with you boys, to be honest. But it is... Hey, I'm going to pull up. I know Billy retweeted it yesterday. Is it like some Winston Churchill shit? Yeah.

Like eating and drinking? No, the crazy thing was he only drank in the morning. He had a gallon of whiskey for breakfast. Okay. Oh, wait, no. I'm sorry, a pint. I was. He had a gallon of whiskey for breakfast. Okay. Oh, wait. No. I'm sorry. A pint.

I was going to say a gallon. Yeah. That's a ball button. Even for the babe. Take a look. But I wouldn't believe it. You know, I was right on the edge. Salted up swing?

This honestly can't be real. I'd love to try it one day. Dude, a bad whiskey holder. Why does he keep doing that? That's how he hit those home runs. He was corking. I'd love to try it one day. Dude, a bad whiskey holder. It is. Why does he keep doing that? That's how he hit those home runs. He was corking. Corking with Whistlepig.

Breakfast was a pint of whiskey mixed with ginger ale, then steak, four eggs, fried potatoes, and a pot of coffee. Okay. For an afternoon snack, it was four hot dogs, east-west, down with a Coca-Cola. I like that. I can get down with that. We had an early supper and a light supper, each the same.

Two porterhouse steaks, two heads of lettuce drenched with blue cheese dressing, and two platefuls of college fried potatoes, then two apple pies. Oh, in between the two suppers, he had four more hot dogs and four more bottles of Coca-Cola. Dude, who works harder than his asshole?

That's gotta be... It's too bad they didn't have any low-cal Hawaiian punch. You need to wash that down. How about the guys who- It was just around the corner. He could have cleaned the whole guy up. He could have 300 more home runs. How about the fucking bozos who are like,

no, Babe Ruth's better than Barry Bonds. This is what he was fucking doing. Yeah. Barry Bonds was doing andro, baby. Right in the fucking bozos Who are like No Babe Ruth's better Than Barry Bonds This is what he was Fucking doing Yeah Barry Bonds is doing Andro I got hot dogs And fucking

How old was he When he died Babe Ruth I think he was I don't think he was Like a shocking You know the story About Babe Ruth's wife

I just found this out Wild shit She died on a pile Of shit She suffocated on their steaks. No, it's way worse. They got married. Oh, never mind. He died at 53.

That makes more sense. For every one story you hear about, like, Grandma lived to 107 because she drank nothing but whiskey. There's a 53-year-old who died. It's like, why'd you do that? Even the head of lettuce, I imagine him just eating like a fucking. Yeah, you're coming up on 53.

So he got married or like was, I think he was really, you know, really, you know, date, like very serious with someone or married in Massachusetts when he was on the Red Sox. Isn't she like an Eskimo? Do they look alike? I swear to God. What do you mean? I don't even know what that means. What the hell are you doing Eskimo women look like Eskimo men he married Babe Ruth with a wig

I don't want to bring it up but we're already reeling from a PR crisis Tommy said despicable, what happened? Tommy said despicable things about Lizzo. Shut the fuck up. And now we've lost

all 13 of our hot girl followers. Dude, did you Well, in the Uber you said it was the funniest line you ever heard. It was the funniest line.

Well, you can say it here. Oh, yeah. I don't remember. Okay. No, say it here and then we'll bleep it. He was mad about them giving the flute to Lizzo.

He goes, they give it to this... Great line. No, I didn't. No, I didn't. I support large women. I like Lizzo a lot, actually. Me too. I mean...

Look, Cameron. I think she's a great... Hello, Lizzo. I think she would be a time to Lizzo and Don Tapper Don Tapper what's his name

John just please don't don't clip that Eskimo shit Eskimo women look like Eskimo men so Babe Ruth gets married Eskimos are hot this is her

so they get married. They do look alike. But I don't know why we're talking about Eskimos. Is Babe Ruth an Eskimo? Wait, why is Eskimos being talked about? They do look alike, but was Babe Ruth an Eskimo? No, no, no. Oh, okay, they look the same.

I actually think Babe Ruth... Yeah, they do. That looks like his daughters. That looks like two Eskimos. Really? Yeah. I mean, I've heard that rumor. I don't know the answer to it, but I have heard that people thought Babe Ruth was black.

That definitely looks like his daughters in all these pictures, like for sure. So what's the story with the wife? So he gets married in Boston. Now we're going to take a turn. Moves to New York. Anyway, cut the last 10 minutes. Gets traded to the Yankees moves to new york she stays

he starts just being like a big wig in manhattan has like a penthouse he's just fucking chicks they basically have like a separation but not divorced she stays in the house for a little while after a couple years she just moves in with another dude which is his name i don't remember his last name she says dan smith she just moves in and just starts going by the name smith and they just said they were married and like because it's fucking 1930 and there's no none of this shit nobody knew who she was or who she was married to there's no fucking you know so everyone just thought that they were married and And all of a sudden, one night, the house burned down. She burns alive in the house because she took too many sleeping pills and was not able to wake up.

And there's, like, a couple conspiracy theories that either he or the other, like, the new husband did it because it was, like, shady in the way that it all happened. It got, like, ruled no murder, no foul play. But, like, everyone's like, no, murder, no foul play, but everyone's like, no, no, no, baby, burn that chick alive. So wait, Babe Ruth burned his wife to death? Is that the facts? That's the rumor. That's the conspiracy. So she just left for a side piece.

Yeah. I bet she was talking shit. Oh, I think that's what it was. I bet she told Dan Smith, she was like, at any second I could leave you and go to the best baseball play. You want to do that to me? Yeah. Could you imagine being that guy? Just being like, you know, like, please don't do that. Also, like in the drop of a hat, you'd go fucking banks to her.

I haven't seen that pic before. I mean, no, no doubt about it. He's a gangster. I take that back. She's not hot. What, for that time? Oh, yeah, she's hot. For that time, but the bar is super low.

Dude, she's very hot. Who do you think got a hunk of ham for a nose? I would not burn a house down with her. His nose looked like it should be sliced. Who do you think is the first chick who was, like, modern hot? That you wouldn't say she was hot for her time. Just straight up hot. What do you mean?

In history? Like, from pictures? Yes. Who's the one in Dreadlocks or Cornrows? Sports Illustrated. Yes, that's kind of where I'm going, I think. Wait, what? I forget her name.

I think we're thinking of the same person. Also, who's that? Oh, Jane Fonda. She's a good one. Way before that, dude. Way before that? There's a couple women, black and white actresses. You would know this.

Raquel Welch was fucking great. Raquel Welch was a great one. Elizabeth Taylor was hot. Elizabeth Taylor was hot. There's some Italian chick in La Ventura that is absolutely smoking hot. Dude, all the starlets in the 50s were like... Dude, Marilyn Monroe was hot. Elizabeth Taylor wouldn't eat cheese.

She'd get swiped on Tinder, bro. No, I disagree. I think that was gorgeous. Alright. I got one more scene that one was gorgeous. All right. What the fuck? I got one you haven't seen. Fuck. Look at that woman. Come on, dude.

That's a stunner. Who's the fucking painting? The older cooking lady. That backfired. That's also what I mean, though, is a lot of these things like, you know. Oh, Martha Stewart? Look up young Martha Stewart. No, she's a fucking.

Look up Martha Stewart fucking yesterday. 100%. Look up old Martha Stewart. I would love to hook up with Martha Stewart. And you know that she gets down. Oh, she does. And she's way older than you think she is. Yeah, she's a piggy.

She's in her 80s. She gets down for sure. Oh, my God. Dude, look at this one. Look at this one. This might be the one. Yeah, that picture. She is fucking hot.

That's Martha Stewart right there? Yes. Get out of town. She might be my new answer. Look at her now. Yeah, look at her now. That's insane. But wait, go back to that really hot one, Pats.

She did time. What year is that? People don't serve time and come out looking hotter. See, you drop that girl into a bar right now, people think she's hot. Even the hot pictures you're talking about, people would still be like you. You know what I mean? You're almost out of place. That girl is hot right fucking now.

She could have a podcast and talk about getting fucked. It's insane. Who's the other one? Go back up. Go back up. Two things. Dude, what about Ingrid Bergman? Like, look at that chick.

Come on. Get out of my face. Who is that? I don't know. Ingrid Bergman? That's Martha? So like Martha, Martha, Martha had a glow. I had a feeling that was going to backfire.

Dude, that version of Martha is like, yeah, whatever. Ingrid Bergman from Casablanca? No, I've never seen that movie. Dude. You've seen Casablanca, dude? I'll tell you what, I watched it in like high school. Dude, Casablanca's good. I don't doubt that.

You're going to cry there. I mean, again, this goes fine. This goes fine. You're an eagle sweatshirt. I didn't think you knew black and white. All his memories Are black and white Dude our household

Is a constant battle Between a good movie And fucking I don't know Someone welding something On reality Oh fuck off Sometimes I want

Background stuff That's old Ingrid Bergman A young Ingrid Bergman I'll tell you what That name will get me solved Ingrid I don't care what she's wearing That name is gone man

You can't be like Do you like that Ingrid I don't care what she's wearing That name is gone man You can't be like Do you like that Ingrid? Yeah you can Miss Berkman coming For the order You know it was a smoke It was Bonnie From Bonnie and Clyde

That chick Oh she's hideous Guys we all have different tastes Yeah Not like the original Yeah no the one with Whatever that other guy's name is I mean I assure you

She's not hideous She's hidden fucking asshole i hate her i hate her so much i know you're about to bring up and i really hate her she's why she just looks like his mom she looks like my mom young i'm, I don't know what it is. I fucking hate her. I don't know what anybody sees in this picture. Faye Dunaway. Faye Dunaway. Why do you hate her so much?

I hate her so much. I hate her smug face. And soft vape falls out of your teeth. Condescending. She just looks like she's condescending. Dude, he smokes a vape like my cat smoked Winston's in the fucking 70s. She's grounded. No, no, she's got a job.

She's really smart. You gotta be there. She's got a great sense of humor, man. Holy shit, how pathetic. I want to apologize. On behalf of my heart and my balls. I didn't mean any of it. She leaves him like, ah, she was a pig.

Fuck her. Fuck her. God damn it. I miss being here. What? I miss being here. You guys are great. This is a great time.

Get those enemas off the fucking table. They're worse than anything. Dude. No. You want some? Everything in there will be in a diaper. Dude, I grew up

on these devil dogs and Hawaiian punch. Let's go. This is how you create the man you see today. Jesus Christ, dude. You're not going to talk for 30 minutes, dude.

Just on that one bite, you're not getting that down. Yeah, washing down in Edmonds with whiskey, it's going to be the first time it's ever happened. I swear. If my dad watches this episode, single tear. Invasion to stay already passed, dude. Sorry, Pop.

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Start the movement today. Get your movement watches. So, speaking of fathers, I feel like we, uh... Well, this is going to be deep. No, I feel like we, we, uh... Wow, this is gonna be deep. No, I feel like... What a shift! I feel like we achieved, um... Uh, like...

I never had a dad that was like a... Like a, I gotta make my dad proud, and he like, you know, like, didn't show me love or affection. I never had any of that shit. So it was never anything where I was like, I gotta go out there and make my dad. Yeah, man. I was like... But I... He didn't want you to go out to him.

Ironically, that's the red flag. How you doing, huh? Guys. Nailed it. That's 30 more seconds to stand up. Right back on stage. Write that down for me, Chris. I'm blacked out.

Write that down. Give me over the notes. I'll text it to you. I'll text it to you I'll text it to you do me a favor write that down text that to me right now it was a callback

to the red and blue Hawaiian punches you understand I'm sorry dad tell me about your your dead dad I like to start to hit room with your dad

yeah that would be good if his dad is dead he's like god willing he would love that I swear to god I hit room with your dad. Yeah, that would be good. He's like, God willing. He would love that. I swear to God, I'm not even kidding you. If my dad could fake his death right now, I think he would do it. I think if I could drop a duffel bag and be like, there's a passport, a gun, and $100,000 in cash, just go,

I think he'd be like, I'm out of here. He wouldn't need the gun. You're right. You get a passport. He's good. That gun's going to rip. No, but You're right. You get a passport. He's good. That gun's going to the river. No, but you're right.

You have to have a bunch of mercenaries after him that I don't know about. No, but he's right. My mother will go after him. Worse than a hundred

mercenaries is my fucking mom. He's right. You gotta put the gun in there to make it seem exciting. That'd be great to put the gun inside the

passport. John's in London He'll pick you up at the airport Anyways, this is all to say I think we did the one thing that our fathers Would actually be proud of us about Is we got our own whiskey Oh, fuck yeah

Oh, shit They threw a little sticker on the side there And we went and we did a tasting I saw the pics for that That's what that was for? We don't know what the fuck we're talking about but we just tasted a bunch until we were like we like this one we like this one they mixed them all up that's a dream of mine yeah that's what i'm saying so like it like i don't know whatever else you can achieve doing this shit but this was like a that's if nothing else happens buddy i think i'd be pretty

yeah the wildest thing about this was that they had us do the whiskey tasting at 8 a.m. Oh, my God. And then in the afternoon, we had different just regular activities. Yeah. And we were like, why did you switch these? Why did I drink six glasses of whiskey? Just like the strippers with Chris, I knew exactly what they were doing. They were like, as soon as these two white guys come in, get them all fucked up.

Separate them. The afternoon will be great. I feel like the equivalent. The afternoon was regular. The evening got a little dinky. The equivalent for my dad, if I got like a Stuff Island table saw. Dude, wall. If wall and Stuff Island collide.

A planer or something. Dude, my dad can do all that shit and didn't pass it down to us at all. And I blame him for it because every time there was something, I'd be like, dad, let me help. And he'd be like, yeah, sure, son. Clean up. Come here.

And then as soon as I kind of got in the way or whatever, he'd be like, just let me fucking do it. I want to go to the bar. Can I be your therapist real quick? That's absolutely not on you. Well, it might be. Let that go. Let that off the shoulders.

What were you doing wrong? Yeah, right. Was everything square? What'd you go for in T-ball that day? My dad would always be like, yeah, you want to help? Grab the broom. And I would just the whole time just sweep and run. Just sweep shit up.

Clean up after me. Stay out of my face and sweep. By the way, when you're done, I'm going to have to sweep up because you fucking suck. Yeah, exactly. That's what my mom said about doing my dishes. She's like, I'm just going to have to do them again. Just put them down. I love when inevitably we get back to the domestic situation.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know this guy doesn't know how to clean a dish. You know he doesn't know how to do laundry. He doesn't know how to do laundry. This is what I was saying earlier. Alright, cut. We're done. Thanks for coming out to KFC Radio. This guy, if he works out and washes a dish,

he's ego through the roof. He's just walking around just being like all these gay guys are trying to fuck me. Every girl's in love with me. That guy kicked that guy's ass. I can hit a baseball 10,000 yards. Dude.

First of all, say something incorrect. Well, it worked out this morning. Son of a bitch. Well, congrats, man. That's fucking cool. You do stay in shape, though. You're always... He's jacked.

Why don't you pop the top and show it off? Let's get the Stuff Island numbers up. The page. Take your fucking shirt off. Oh, you got the shirt. Fuck yeah. I love that shirt. Oh, the Bert and Ernie.

Dude, the Bert and Ernie. Wasn't the Bert and Ernie Yeah Dude the Bert and Ernie Wasn't the Bert and Ernie Born at During Friday Night Pints Didn't you guys say that About your shirts Yeah yeah it was Yeah yeah

Yeah But was it here Or somewhere else It was Friday Night Pints Yeah yeah yeah Bert and Ernie is fucking We'll give you 10% 10% of this whiskey

Yeah We'll literally give you 10% of the whiskey This is a lot of Fucking whiskey dude'll literally give you 10% of the whiskey this is a lot of fucking whiskey dude so yeah I mean

I feel like business has gotta be fucking real good it's going well it's a lot yeah it's a lot better

than it was not 10 months ago yeah things are great we were both unemployed well I've been unemployed for 12

fucking years yo do me a favor get him two tokens that's We were both unemployed. Well, I've been unemployed for 12 fucking years. Yo, do me a favor. Get him two tokens. That's what I did for 12 years. Throw him a couple chips, will you? Walking out like, give me a baseball. I'll fucking crush you.

And still, during that whole 12 years, a workout and a dish cleaning. And he's the king of the world It's never gonna change baby I was like Don't even catch me on a day I do laundry Oh yeah Forget about it You know how many fucking t-shirts I just folded

Dude just swinging on lampposts It's not even raining I didn't even need the fucking thing The gap they use I just fucking crushed it easily Dude What did they use in the game? They use I just fucking crushed it easily dude Like a paper thing like a cardboard thing Yeah, no, I know I can fold the fuck out of a t-shirt anything else you do

What do you do like the Asian one where you live a like snap it? No? I'm more of a blue square folder. Do you do the sleeves in and fold like a square or the triangle? Yeah, it's up. It's up. And I go sleeves in and then I kind of like flip it, block it out and go down. What do you do? What?

I know you fucking, you know, Holly Homemaker over here. How do you do this? Yeah, I know. I think that is the one thing in this world that you – You're not. I do the same thing. You haven't folded laundry in a year. No, 100%. I haven't folded laundry in five years.

The one thing in this world that is absolutely worth the money is the wash and fold. It's a dollar a pound. I think you're insane. You need a little constructive... I need structure. I need to go to prison. You would be great in prison.

I would be amazing. You guys should do a scared street. You would be amazing. Hold my pocket, you scared gang. I'm going to be like, yeah, okay. If you could set it up with Scotland Yard this weekend, that would be incredible. I used to drop it off, but then I have

a washer. You lose a bunch of shit. I'd be in the house. If I had to go to the basement, I wouldn't do it. That's a trade-off I don't think I'm ready for. I'd be in the house. I'd use it for sneaks. Yeah, occasionally here and there. But it's still. It's the fold. It's not the wash. I can put shit in a washer

or push a button. Put shit in a dryer or push a button. It's button it's the fucking bro can i tell you how easy it is to fold shit it's not you drop it on the couch you watch the tv and you know i hate it it takes 30 seconds no no it doesn't no it's really it's not that it's hard it's it's but it is i think what we have we all have like or maybe i'm just speaking for myself like ptsd to think about folding my entire fucking family's shit. Yeah, but I use a whole shit for six people. How often do you do it? It's just me now.

I know, but I'm doing it like at the end of – if I'm not sending it out, I do it at the end of the month, and it's like 50 pounds. Yeah, I do it like monthly. Oh, my God. Oh, I hate that. See, I need reasons to leave the house. Yes, you drop it off.

I'm so sad. I need a coffee. This guy is Yes, you drop it off. I'm so sad. This guy is like, yes, it's laundry day. I get to walk my laundry down the block. I see the sun. It's incredible. You know, you could just go on a walk. But you can't, right? I know.

When people just walk, the best thing you can do for your body is go in for walks. Dude, him on a walk, though? This is wild. I don't know. It's also definitely not the best thing you can do for your body is go in for walks. Dude, him on a walk, though, this is wild. I don't know. It's also definitely not the best thing you can do for your body. I've been in Moa, the local coffee shop we go to. I sit on the right. It's a tiny box, dude. I'm talking.

This wall to that wall. I'm right there. This bird brain walks in just slow, bow-legged. You're very bright. He doesn't see me. this bird brain walks in just slow bow-legged. Bird brain. You're very bright. He doesn't see me. It's a bow-legged bird brain. He walks into a room and doesn't like peruse real quick. You know what I mean?

That's so crazy. And then he walks directly to the fucking barista, gets his coffee, goes to the shelf, turns around, still. No peripheral. Nothing. And I'm like, Chris! I said it like twice. This has been like three times

you walk in and out without even seeing really not very aware bro really dude I yeah when you walk

you walk with a purpose yes dude I am so focused you're a Navy SEAL on what I'm not I'm focused on

being in the movie I think I'm in like I have like the camera following me there's some kind of good song playing and like that's like everywhere I walk I'm in a movie yeah so I'm in like I have like the camera following me there's some kind of good song playing and like

that's like everywhere I walk I'm in a movie yeah so I'm not seeing anything else I'm focused on my lines I'm hitting my mark that's it what are you thinking about I just I'm just I'm just I'm going through just I'm just like I'm just paging through I thoughts I don't even know see I don't know it's so fun it's so funny like We were joking around The other day Where you're like Like what the fuck Do you do all day It's just like

I'm thinking about Important shit He's like what I don't remember You know what I mean In the moment though It's super important I swear to god

I'm asking the deep questions And dude I wish it was something I could like throttle up Like I wish it was something I could just dial in At any moment.

Well, you should just have something in the can. Yeah, lie to me. Yeah, lie. Dude, I can't come up with that stuff. Yeah, you can. He's too busy thinking about this other shit. Come up with one thing and keep it ready. My dad's really sick.

And I go, is it code? And you go, we'll find out tomorrow. The tests are still in. There you go. Jesus Christ, I don't want to talk about it. And you go, all right Alright I'll leave you alone Yeah alright That's such a Tommy lie

You got to dig deep dude Dude So Tommy got blacked out What was it Monday night? I don't know Yeah Tommy got blacked out Monday night I show up to the

Our trainer at At 8.30 the next morning And What's with the lady? The trainer goes Is Tommy sick or something? He said he was sick I was Coming off a long weekend at 8.30 the next morning. And... That's a lady. Trina goes, is Tommy sick or something? He said he was sick. I was hoping

he was coming off a long weekend. No, he's not sick. I said that in the mirror to myself this morning. You're coming off a long weekend, dude. I was like,

it's Wednesday, bro. Hold on. Hold on. First of all, time doesn't matter for people like us. Secondly, you know your body enough when you've been doing this long enough to go, look, if I don't get at least one good sleep at this moment right now, this ship will turn.

It's going to turn around the entire direction against the wind, against the current. And I knew that was the night. Because I was like, I started like tasting things differently. I'm like lackadaisical when I shouldn't be this smells are off and I'm like I don't see what what qualifies as a good okay six hours six five six oh I banged out 12 last night that's well that's every like six day that's about what it was yeah yeah yeah this was like a half coma. I needed one half coma, and I had my trainer at like 10. And I was like, dude, I went to bed at 6.

I hate when we tell stories where he talks about sleeping, because none of you guys understand. We're going to have to film him one time. What, sleeping? The snoring. Oh. Oh, yeah, I'm bad. The snoring.

I think I'm bad. I don't think he is recovering, because, I mean, I really can't even make a noise with my mouth Did you sneak a second Enneman's by the way? One lot do you want it man If you don't I will Kevin's like did you guys sneak two more whiskeys? To each their own alright

We all got our vices leave me alone That fucking merch bag That's a real heavy one That's what I'm fixing my chest hair on my jay We all got our vices. Leave me alone. That fucking merch bag better be real heavy. That's what I'm fixing my chest hair on my jay. You're such a fucking... Dude, I know. You are such a ginzo, man.

I'm turning into such a cartoon wop. It's unbelievable. You're half and half? Huh? What are you, half and half? Mostly Irish, I think. Yeah, that's what's crazy because you're such a fucking gini.

My mother's 100% Irish. Yeah. And your father... So you're like 50% Irish and then like mutt Italian? I think it's like... Who knows? I'm not gonna think it's like, who knows? I'm not going to like say, well, who cares?

Did you see what I did this morning? Well, what do you mean? And it's Halloween every day for you. You just dress up like something you're not. You know? No, I think most of it. What am I, coming in like a fucking throwback jersey with a fucking- 65 Irish, 10 German?

Leave it at that. Sounds like Sounds like There's some Polish In there You got any fat Polish jokes Chris

Fucking fat pigs Dude did you see What I did this morning No Where so there's A volcano went off Oh I did see that Oh in Stromboli Stromboli a volcano went off. Oh, I did see it, yes. Oh, in Stromboli.

In Stromboli. Dude, also, great movie, Stromboli. You ever see Stromboli? No, dude, I've never seen Stromboli. 1943, classic. It is, Italian cinema. But I quoted it, and I was like, having a volcano named after food is the most Italian thing ever.

And everyone was like, are you the dumbest person alive? Like, Stromboli was invented in Stromboli. You fucking moron. Ironically. And I did not get that at all. Never for a second did I think that. It's like champagne. Look at that.

Name this whole city after this drink. In an incredible quirk of fate, you know who's in Stromboli? Who's that? Ingrid Bergman. And she is so hot. She's hot because all the dudes are so fucking hideous it's like the tallest midget syndrome you see all these dudes

you're like oh my god look at this angel why do you know about fucking both Stromboli and Ingrid Berman I come home I'll walk in the door like 3pm and all you hear is you tell them to me sir you're watching that kind of shit

he's watching a black white movie we just actually talked about the other day the transatlantic accent is what it's called it's like because it's not English

it's not an English accent and it's not American so it's like right in the middle it's made up though yes like it's not a real thing they made it up for Hollywood he was telling me something

about the microphones right Nick yeah I also I might have just made that fact up I think I heard I like that one let's stick with that I like the equipment the microphones picked up, Nick? Yeah, I also, I might have just made that fact up. I think I heard it somewhere. I like that one. Let's stick with that. Is that like the equipment, the microphones picked up your voice better if you're talking like this?

It picked up mid-tones well, so they just did that. But that whole thing of the women being like, yeah, I'm gonna love you. You gotta love me, babe. Right? We're gonna go, yeah. Imagine that, like, cuts, and then they just start talking normal. Yeah, one day I was like, hey, why are we doing this? I'm tired. Just talk fucking normal, man.

Jesus Christ. That's like Gosling. Gosling's accent's all made up. Gosling's accent? Yeah. I didn't know he really had an accent. It's like he has like kind of like gravelly type voice.

And it's not that it's made up. It's not like it's that he's Canadian and he didn't want a Canadian accent and he loved Brando. And so he tried to do like a Brando

with his like as a kid. Land on his own. And he's kind of like that's the voice. But he can stop it or that's just how he talks now? No, I think it's just how he talks. Who was the first person to talk normal? I bet they were like fucking Jimi Hendrix, dude.

I bet it was just like, no! What does that mean? None of that makes sense. What do you mean talk normal? Why would it be Jimi Hendrix? And what do you mean those kind of people? Jimi Hendrix? And what do you mean those kind of people? Jimi Hendrix was the first person to talk normal? This happens a lot when I'm on a podcast.

You guys are all wrong. What if he talked normal? We were just talking about it. And I don't want to alter it. We were just talking about being like, Who's the first guy to just be like, Yo, what's up? How are you?

Welcome to Q102.7. I love the thought of Jimi Hendrix showing up on a fucking set of a movie like, stop talking like that, guys. None of you talk like that anymore. I'm Jimi Hendrix. This movie's different. I'm telling you, it happened on Stromboli. That's my nickname in college

Let's see Who directed Stromboli? Look that up right now Just Google Who's the first person To talk normal And see what the fuck it gives you It's gonna be a zero results

I'm at least trying to find out When that accent ended Who's the first person To talk normal on radio? It was quick man It went from the late 1910s to the mid-40s. So there's only like 30 years of that. The rise and fall

of a Hollywood trend. It says Cary Grant, Scarlett O'Hara, Audrey Hepburn all talk like that. Julia Child, Franklin Delano Roosevelt, and then Julia Child? That's a very British. Just put in more butter! It'd be funny if Yoda's see. Julia Child. That's a very good one. Just put in more butter.

It'd be funny if Yoda's back. Let's see. Where is the trans exact Julia Child? She just shrunk. She was inside of her... He was inside of her heart, just pulling levers. I'm gonna grab the beef. Not many people even know this, but Yoda was voiced by Julia Child.

There's slice of data. Cover in a lot of film history. Exception, they say. Yeah, though the accent has long since lost its allure after Jimi Hendrix told everyone to stop fucking talking. You idiot. Like, what? It would be. I'm saying it would be like Jimi Hendrix listening to it.

Like, it would be where you'd be like, this sound. I've never heard this before. You know? No, I honestly don't know. I usually throw people a bone on the ass. I hate to do this right now. Sorry, but we got to hustle up. I left the audience being judged in the comments.

We are in game two. Oh, shit. The day game? Yeah, baby. Sorry, pal. I was with you. I was so good. I didn't rib you.

I didn't rib you personally. I didn't rib you online. I didn't say nada. You guys were good. We also didn't know the Phillies were even in the playoffs. Dude, when I was watching the Mets Brave series. How'd that go? It didn't go great, but I was watching it.

Wait, are you a Mets fan? Yeah. He doesn't know what he is. I'm Mets and Phillies. Exactly. I didn't know that. What? What's wrong with that?

What's wrong with that? You're Mets, Phillies, Eagles? I'm with him, you fucking flyers, I imagine. Mets, Phillies, yeah, flyers. I've never had someone in an Eagles sweatshirt tell me, no, I'm a big Mets guy. No, but I could, you know, Phillies, yeah, Flyers. I've never had someone in an Eagle sweatshirt tell me, no, I'm a big Mets guy. No, but I could, you know, sometimes like, oh, my grandmother liked this, but you can't be a Phillies.

You can be an Eagles and a Mets, but you can't be a Mets. I can do whatever I want. It's America. I can do whatever I want. Look, see? Your reply is America. It's America. It's America. I can do whatever I want. You represent America, and you represent that city. You're retorting. It's America. It's America.

I can do whatever I want. And you represent that city. You definitely can't beat the Phillies. That's why I think Pittsburgh does it the best, because Pittsburgh, they're all the same colors, too. Yeah, they're all white. Come on. Come on, guys.

We're still doing it? The jokes? Write it down, Tommy. Now, when even, like like the Mets beat the shit out of the Phillies in the regular season but every time we did it I was like

I don't know man I know we're winning all these games but this team is a fucking problem that's why I don't chirp and it was like Harper's gonna get healthy

and they they kick the ball all around the field all the time but if they stop doing that they're gonna be a problem there you go yeah

a little more bullpen will be real decent yeah I think a seven game series series is going to be tough. Yeah, of course. Because eventually some of those warts start to show. But it's also like the Phillies got their one, but other than that and prior to that

they were just as much of a fucking laughingstock as the Mets. They're just one of those loser franchises. And then now they're just not, and it's just like we're left at the fucking... You guys can be fans of the Mets, too, if you want. Come over to my side. Oh, my God. I'd sooner have fucking Babe Ruth's diet.

We're going to do that one day. Literally. One day? Yeah, like a look at dish. We do Babe Ruth's diet one day. I feel like I need it. We need a snippet of that. We need a team.

Like four of us do it. One has one meal, one has the next meal. I'll do post-dinner. No, we all do it. A 24-hour look at dish. Let's do it soon so we can cook in the backyard because I want to do a barbecue. I'm 100% in.

Otherwise we're going to be sweating our dicks off. After four guys put their hands in the backyard. We all have heart attacks at midnight. To start the day. Great episode. First of all, you have to start Look A Dish drinking a pint of whiskey. What's the problem? I think we all need a pint of whiskey today. As long as I get to the gym first.

Bring four of these and then steaks for the rest of the day Alright boys Is there anything we're plugging in specifics or no? No it's Stuff Island You guys doing live pods? Our Patreon rules We're gonna start doing live pods The best in the business

So I was actually texting a friend this morning And I was like it's so easy going into Like yesterday we had an interview. Oh, wait. Wait, how much time do we have? He's complimenting us. Yeah, you're right. As much time as you need.

I was like, we're going to, like, yesterday, we're going to trudge through 20 minutes, half hour, hopefully get through it. Today, I was like, it's going to be cake. I bet we walk through an hour. We're at an hour and a half. Oh, really? Oh, Jesus Christ. Yeah, it matches well. What time does the game and a half. Oh, really? Oh, Jesus Christ. Yeah, it meshes well.

What time does the game start? 4.30, I think. Can we just do a couple more minutes with you guys? Yeah. Of course. Oh, I thought you were saying we got to go. He didn't even know they were playing. Oh, I thought you were saying we got to go because the players are playing.

Yo, I thought it was a 2.15. I just wanted to say it out loud. Oh, you're such a dickhead. Jesus Christ. Let's get some voicemails going. All right, one more whiskey then. Daddy! Yo, I'll tell you something. You're such a dickhead. Jesus Christ. Let's get some voicemails going. All right, one more whiskey then. Hey! Yo, I'll tell you something.

You see that pink bottle? Take a donut. I don't want to fuck it. Why not? It's rich frosting. It's disgusting. It's not. It's rich frosting.

That's not real chocolate. Just try it and tell me you don't like it. I've had a thousand of these. You then got backhanded by my father. I don't want to eat a fucking fake chocolate donut. I swear to God, if these were fresh out of the fridge, I wouldn't take those for an answer. You know what I'd eat? The coffee cake one with the little buttholes on it?

I buy those every week and you don't eat them. You do not. You need to be nicer. I bought them at least twice. This one. Thank you. Chris, I'm telling you. Just eat one.

We gotta keep these two separate. It's insane. These guys are like in Ghostbusters. Like, don't cross the street. Don't let these two in a room Can I leave all my shit here dude if we both lose a cold. We'll just start doing our own show. We're like wife swap. We'll put the keys in a bowl.

Stuff KFC. When you die in London, he'll be sitting there. We really could just do some swapping, bro. It really would just be plug and play. Next man up. Do your job. Oh my God. These are our voicemails.

I just drank it. I can't believe you took that I know it's crazy uh all right what do we got Thursday Boot Company is a startup that makes the best handcrafted boots and sells them direct to consumer at some of the lowest markups in footwear industry honest quality at honest prices handcrafted to the highest quality materials to be comfortable versatile versatile, and durable. That's why we did our collabs with them because of all that. I'll shoot you straight. If you're interested in our show and you want to advertise and the price is right and we're

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My name's Mel. Oh, why'd you pick this one? I've been single for a very long time. And I've recently gone back out in the dating game. And I've noticed guys like to ask, what do your parents do for a very long time and i've recently got back out in the dating game and i've noticed guys like to ask what do your parents do for a living or are your parents still together and so i have to come back by saying no my parents aren't together the day the divorce was finalized my dad killed can i go first and then they're like i'm so sorry i'm so sorry and i say no pause my life's better off without him.

And I probably sound like a psycho. So if you guys were on a date with a girl and she said this, what would you think? Because I need to know what the men are thinking. Thank you. Bro, first of all, call me. So I can make it juicy for you. All right. God, I had a lot to notice.

Well, I commend you for... The pause is the part that I love. It's the lamest. Oh, this is my dad. Listen, if you were at that age and you have recessed lighting, you're getting money from your parents. And maybe it's the dad's will. I was going to say, she's definitely getting money from his parents.

It's the life insurance. Oh, dude, you's definitely getting money from his parents it's the life insurance oh dude you don't get it right yeah I disagree with every part of this oh I agree with I agree with the first part

I judge you wholly on your parents you would what do you do if you asked you seriously ask no I don't actually ask but when I find out

I have a different thought what do your parents do your first no no no I would never ask it but then once I go to your house, I'm like, ah, fuck. You're poor. This isn't what I wanted to do.

Actually, I've never once thought about this. I'm making a joke about the recess lighting. I don't give a fuck about that stuff. I don't care what girls' jobs are or what they're... I don't care about anything. I don't care what girls... They got you hot and cool. I care about what family I'm going to have to deal with for the rest of my fucking life.

That's true. But we're getting ahead of ourselves. I'm like here too. But you might as well just cut it off. Might as well figure it out. Yeah, well, we're talking about Mr. Self-Sabotage here. The point is... Let me bring over this girl as fast as I can.

Now your dad's in landscaping, I'm out of here. To answer this girl's question... Is he hiring? If your dad's got grass in his teeth, I'm leaving. I'll do the second shift of landscape. They got it. To answer this girl's question, yes, if you answer like that, you sound like a psycho. Psycho.

Dodge the question. Or just be like, no, they're not together. I think keep it moving. Like, I don't know. Yeah, my parents aren't. I mean, at some point, if you're serious, that's going to come out. You know what the real problem is? It's 2022.

You're not going to be like, my parents are divorced, and someone's going to be like, why? What are you? You're one of 60% of children with divorced parents? That's amazing. Do you even want to live in the suburbs? What do you think's worse? Her being like, no, they're not together.

My dad killed himself. Or, no, my life's better off without him. Those are two, like, jeez. It goes from bad to worse. Like, holy fuck. I like that line. It's cool that I laugh at Those are two like, jeez. It goes from bad to worse. Like, holy fuck. I like that line. It's cool that I laugh at it. Because it's a funny line.

That also is true. You've got to deliver it well. Like when we had Brittany Schmidt here making fun of her mom who killed herself, it was like, that was funny the way you told it. So we're able to laugh. If it's just like, my parents are not around because he's dead and I love it that way. It's like, okay. A little comedic timing, please,

if you don't mind. Yeah. What does your ideal man say in response to that? Yeah, what is the reply? My dad died. I need to laugh out loud.

My dad killed himself after the divorce. What a bitch. I was like, hey, I'm Tom, my dad, I'm the bluest

fucking bridge out. That's some gangster shit. That's my dude. Well, I'll tell you what, I would do that for you, babe babe I'd kill myself for another day Just so you know I aspire to be your father

One day I'll have a cojones Like your dad's death Way too soon I don't know about dating her But you say those two things And it's like check please Let's get out of here We'll go out and fucking roll around in the...

Proceed. The floor is yours, sir. I mean, the damage in the eyes might be a good night in the sack. That's what I'm saying. It's like, check, please, let's go, because we're about to have the time of our lives, and then I'll, you know, hopefully hide from you forever. You're just mid-fucking-air being like, your dad didn't kill himself.

Look at me when I say this. I mean, it's part of the rules. I can tell. Zero, zero, zero. Oh, yeah. Yeah. We had two girls. I know the six, six, six.

Yeah, so we came up with the zero, zero, zero. It was zero opinions. Opinions. Zero gag reflex. And zero fathers. Find a girl with all three of those. Put a ring on it. Opinions. Opinions. Zero gag reflex. And zero fathers. Find a girl with all three of those. Put a ring on it.

Until then, don't even call me. Swipe left or whatever. This is the slogan for Barstool. I think you just renamed Barstool. Next up, who we got? So I was thinking about this last night um growing up i had this one friend that like i hung out with a lot uh and her parents were like they had like stupid rules like stupid strict rules that like my parents just didn't have hate that yeah um like her bedtime was like seven o'clock crazy time was 8 30 yep yep which i was eating dinner at seven o'clock she was going to bed um they.30. Yep. Yep. Which I was eating dinner at 7 o'clock.

She was going to bed. They weren't allowed to like watch certain shows like on Disney or Nickelodeon, like shows made for kids that their parents like deemed inappropriate. Things like that, like weren't allowed to like play like in the woods behind their house, like things you do as a kid that like they just weren't allowed to do. Where do you think? Which is funny because this was also the same friend that I discovered porn with on the internet at, like, 10 years old. So parents weren't doing that good of a job.

But anyways, my question to you is what is, like, something really stupid growing up that, like, your friend's parents were strict about that, like, was a buzzkill? Oh, man, I can't even tell you how much i fucking hated going to that kid's house when the mom's like you got to take your shoes off and we don't have any soda in the house we have like oh you want a snack here's like celery i didn't know any of these people no you just had dirt bags all over the place yeah our house was like like we had a pool and no fucking rules it was like you know here's some liquor and you want to play with the power saw let's go so yeah everybody was like we had a pool and no fucking rules. It was like, you know, here's some liquor and you want to play with the power saw? Let's go. So everybody was like, come here.

Or the worst would be like, you know, if kids were like, hey, you want to go to my house now? And I'd be like, no, let's just stay here. We're like, the Coca-Cola is flowing, man. Just jerk off to that fucking internet porn. I remember I had a buddy who hadn't seen Terminator 2. I was like, you've got to come over right now. And he was like, let me ask my mom. I was like, oh, Jesus Christ.

He just called his mom to see if he could go to London. I did not. I called my friend. I'm going to call my mom. We're done. Not in front of you guys. We're done. That, I actually

That's a good idea I might employ that I might make my mom My financial advisor It would have saved me in London I can tell you that right now Up until what a year ago? She fired you

About a year ago About a year ago He would have to be like The Nyack show I had just gotten access to my money because I was going to buy everyone at the show shots. And then I did the math and it was like $7,000. And I was like, that's why my mom doesn't let me have my money.

Okay. Brilliant. Brilliant. Yeah, but like he would call like regularly to be like, you know, I'm going to like, I got to go to a wedding. I got to give him a gift. Like, I need some money, Mom. But it's my money.

And it's not like I need to borrow my money. I mean, also, her name is still on my check. All right, so what happened that incited this control? What do you mean, what happened? No, it wasn't. It was more the opposite. It was just that he never, because I don't know, when I grew up, like my parents, when I was like a teenager,

did have control of it. What money did you have as a fucking teenager yeah it's not control it was my main job when I went to college yeah I was a landscaper as a teenager

I had cash in my fucking oh well I mean I didn't I was doing a cash job I would put my cash in the bank my boat shelf how much money do you have

that your parents have like no it wasn't like that it was just like her name is also on the check yes joint account yeah it was a joint account and like she also had access like that. It was just like, her name is also on the check. Joint account. Yeah, it was a joint account, and she also had access to it, and it was just in a different state.

So it would be like, can you send me some money because I need to. And you're still doing this? No, not anymore. But just recently. Just last year. You had a joint bank account with your mom. Oh, we still have a joint bank account. I just have like, I got it emptied into my other account.

What is going on? You got a slush fund? Why is not everybody erupting right now? bank account. I just have like I got it emptied into my other account. What is going on? Why is not everybody erupting right now? I got one too, bro. I got a joint account too. In New England we have joint accounts. I have the check right here. Her name actually might not be on it anymore.

Darylene? No. But I know what you got. I have the same thing, but it was like she's not like she doesn't have access to it now. But if we ever do need to like transfer funds to each other, we can do it without it being a whole thing. That's why it's actually pretty convenient. She learned my signature so she can sign shit. Yeah.

Does that answer your question? Does any one of your friends have stupid rules that they have to abide by? John Steele. John Steele. Lead with that. My 33-year-old friend. Mom, good girl. Hey, Mom, I want to buy this hoodie at fucking Old Navy.

Could you just approve this? Is that why you haven't seen Terminator 2? You're like, Mom, Terminator 2 is on Amazon Prime. He's getting turned down at AMC 10 years ago. It's actually some of the point with Terminator 2 where I don't even want to see it anymore. What are you talking about? Oh, you actually haven't seen Terminator 2? I actually have not, no.

It's around here somewhere. Ken Jack gave me it on Blu-ray. That is crazy. We hung it up. I'm done, by the way, with making people see movies they haven't seen like that. Because, first of all it never lives up to the hype because people are just like, yeah, gotta see it. And people

go into it with the mindset of like, it's just gonna be a movie. Whatever. So I just don't even fucking try anymore. You find a real fucking video and you just send it to your buddy via text and they don't know yet. Yeah, so it's like, watch this and it's some fucking, you know. That's fun. Dude, I watched Terminator 2 recently. Terminator 2. That's fine. Dude, I watched Terminator 2 recently.

Terminator 2. T2 rules. T2 is one of the best movies of all time. I'm sure it's awesome. Who's passionate about Terminator 2? I'm with you, bro. That's a psychopathic fucking... I'm with you, dude. T2 is fucking...

Who isn't passionate about T2? Special effects for the time and everything. I'll make you a promise, Chris. He runs so fast he turns into metal? Yeah. That's T-1000. Have you seen Olympus is Fallen? This is why we have to watch fucking diners driving dives every night. Yeah, balance it out.

Dude, he literally every night. Balance what? With the trash? Have you seen Olympus is Fallen? No. Okay, I'll make you a promise. I'll watch T2 if you watch Olympus is Fallen. Yeah, yeah.

Okay. Maybe even London is Fallen. I like that one a little more, but Olympus is the birth of the franchise. I'll tell you right now. How many times have you fallen? Olympus is Fallen, London is Fallen, and there's a third one. Are there three or four? There's three.

There's Angel, but four. Night has Fallen is coming out, and they've also signed on for two more. So it's going to be at least a six-week season. Is this a Marvel thing? No. It's Gerard Butler being a fucking gangster. Gerard Butler is like the principal. The president's

right-hand man. Secret service guy. But he retires and comes out of retirement. Is the president Jamie Foxx? What? No. Strictly anal. I just tuned in. I was talking about Gerard Butler and Jamie Foxx all of a sudden you're

strictly anal there's no movie talk that can survive strictly anal continue no he said you beat up girls in comedy I got news for you strictly anal

that's when I lock in IMAX strictly anal oh man IMAX porn that would be crazy Jesus Christ just you and your dad like I'm sorry

The only IMAX I ever went to Cinema was like 4D One of those 4D theaters The facial is spray though I took my I said no spray I thought the spray would be more viscous He's very hydrated They just pump Clorox into the I thought the spray would be more viscous. I don't know.

He's very hydrated. They just pump Clorox into the air. The cum shot still smells like bleach. What's the IMAX movie with the blue cretins jumping on trees? Is that out yet, the second one? No, I don't think so. No, but I took my pop to that. He was like oh man

that's like if you were to take those Polacks from the VFW to that I think they'd have a heart attack that's my father

he went fucking wild we went into another universe I still haven't seen that one I should probably watch that Avatar

it sucks I've tried to watch it three separate times I fell asleep every time it's just strictly like at the time the graphics were like incredible. It was awesome.

It was a good story. It's alright. It's like watching fucking any children's cartoon. It's like this is great. You talk shit and you're like, holy, I'm crying. This is almost like Paw Patrol. I love this. You know what the problem is? I wasn't crying

because those things, they look so goofy and weird that I was like, I don't know. They do. I actually. Like, I'm not going to get choked up over a baby. I don't know how he ended up on Avatar, but I actually don't think these are good graphics. I think it's actually like pretty fake looking. Yeah.

I kind of agree. It's insane. You're waiting 10 years. But even. How come, by the way, maybe Mr. Cinema over here will know this. Don't you feel like graphics have kind of just stopped getting better? Like, if you go watch Jurassic Park in 1992, that was, like, spot fucking on. Well, because there's practical effects.

Well, this is the new one. Those are practical effects. Oh, it's the new one? Okay. I guess except for some of the... Practical effects. They were making dinosaurs. No, that looks hot as shit.

No, but the difference is now... Tell me you wouldn't. Sure, of course I would. Of course I would. I mean, that's what everyone talked about difference is now Tell me you wouldn't Of course I would Of course I would I mean that's what everyone Talked about when watching Tell me you wouldn't If you fuck a guy avatar

Is that gay? I feel like you're just Fucking a whole other Right Species That's why I want to Stay alive until 65 If you fuck a male dog

Is that gay? Cause I'm down But I don't want to be gay Cause if so I got a lot of answers Dude we We were at Whistlepig event

No the lighting And shit is better now Is this the most recent Yeah This looks This looks pretty sick Yeah I'll fuck with this

But that also The unreal engine dude I'm sure you Would be better off But who fucking cares I'm sure you would be better off, but who fucking cares? I'm sure you could do a little... I want to see the cheeks

on this green bitch. That was so genuine. It's small... I want to see the cheeks. It's small, tight butts. They got no ass. They got small, tight butts which are coming back.

No, they're not. Small, tight butts are coming back. Oh, I don't disagree with that. They will come back. Dude, this guy... These two Spider-Man coming back. Oh, I don't disagree with that. They will come back! God damn it. These two Spider-Man fucking point at each other. We haven't talked about it since the fight in the green room.

This is not related to small tight butts, but it is kind of. We fought in the green room? Yeah, we fought in the green room because he doesn't think you can learn how notes sound. He thinks it's either genetic or you'll just never learn. I was talking about whistling.

You're talking about notes. We were talking about playing the guitar. You can't learn what an E sounds like. No, singing. We were talking about singing. And then I made a comparison to a guitar and you were like, you can't do it! But you can get better at singing. You can't be a good singer

if you start off not... It's just... You can take better at singing. You can't be a good singer if you start off not... It's just... You can take singing lessons. You can go from good to better or better to great. You can't just go from shitty to great. I think you're right about that. You can. Of course you can.

But I think you might go from shitty to good. Yes. I think. You can learn what a note sounds like. I tend to agree with you, but I don't think it is like... Absolutely not. No. It's the same thing.

You can, if you're like- It's genetic. Awkward athletically and you just put a zillion hours into it, you could get okay. These opera singers and these high elite singers, they have it. It's instinctive. Yeah, there's a genetic component to it. It's like athleticism, but you can learn to be- No, athleticism is part genetic, but not like singing.

Oh, no. Not to top singers. I disagree. Top singers, you're born with it. Some dude's just going to bellow out in fifth grade at a fucking Catholic play where he's St. Joseph, and all of a sudden everyone's like, holy shit. Frankie Spagnola is unbelievable.

But if he works at it, yeah. If he works at it. No. No. They have music school, Tom. I'll pay for your lessons. You start working for one year. You got to do a fucking one year. One year. You're pay for your lessons. You start working for one year. You got to do a fucking

one year. One year. You're paying for the lessons. 100%. But only if I learn what an E is. Through the stuff I own LLC.

Signed and delivered, baby. I'm taking music lessons. The timing was perfect. Right as the hand sheet. What an amazing. The rumors of I own LLC. It's amazing. Dude, I can't wait till you're like,

He's bellowing like a cow being sued. Like an Avatar character. That's why you guys are more successful than us. Just a lamb being sold off. He goes to London, I get music lessons. Cocaine's a hell of a job! Damn, dude. Also, I wasn't going to give you the little notes.

I got so many fucking comments going, this dude's yakged out of his skull. That's just me. Three cold brews. Maybe it'll work out. Maybe I'd get my laundry. I was fucking hyped. Dude, yeah.

Fuck you. That's our last voicemail here, I've got to answer the internet too. This one's brought to you by Freedom Grooming. Bald men in our audience, this one, this one's for you fellas. I'm going to be honest, this is our first ad for you guys. This is Freedom Shaving. Freedom Shaving's got the pre-shave oil, the sandalwood, no big deal. They got the shaving cream, sandalwood, no big deal.

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FreedomGrooming.com slash KFC for 20% off. Again, that's FreedomGrooming.com slash KFC for 20% off. Get it. Get it. Got it. Good. Bye. What's up, Kevin, Fikes, Nick, Pabs, Jackie, the whole crew. Tommy, Chris.

I'm CJ. I'm the guy who sent in the Whiskey Dick song a couple months ago. Long-time listener, first-time caller. I was listening to the Always Sunny podcast a few weeks ago and they were talking about all the times that they had been arrested when they were younger. And I have a story

and a question that goes along with it for you guys. So a couple of months ago at college, I drank a whole bottle of whiskey. It wasn't Whistlepig. No, that came. The last thing I remember is... Dying there. You don't have the balls to finish that in one swig.

And the next thing I remember is banging my head against the glass in the drunk tank. My hands cut behind me, and I was wearing an orange jumpsuit. Lucky you got glass. I've had glass once. What had happened, the detective explained to me, is I had gone to a Taco Bell, and they were the only Taco Bell in America that was drive-thru only, and I had walked there, and they wouldn't let me in the lobby, and I essentially beat up the restaurant.

Windows, doors, all broken. But I got out of it. Charges were dropped. Taco Bell never even... I wonder how that happened. So what's the dumbest thing that you guys have either done or seen one of your buddies do

when they were absolutely obliterated? And then also, what's the biggest example of using your privilege to your advantage? I know full well that I got very lucky in that situation. So what's a time that... I murdered this minority immigrant and So what's a time that, you know, has something like this happened?

I murdered this minority immigrant and my dad's a lawyer, so I'm just driving around now. Imagine being a southern monkey and being woke at the same time. Like, holy shit, dude. I mean, as far as... How many detectives did they have on this case?

What the detective explained to me was I beat the shit out of a taco bell. Here's how the detective explains. Get the fuck out, you idiot. Dumbest drunk thing has probably got to be a pretty long list for this, the people in this room, right?

Yeah, it's pretty long. I honestly don't know. All the ones I got arrested for, I was not dumb. All the ones I got arrested for, I was just drunk and underage. And then also sober and handcuffed at

NFL headquarters. Those are my only... I have four arrests under my belt. Three of them underage, drunks. One of them... Grown man protesting. Grown man being upset about Tom Brady's situation. Do you guys know that story? When they... When Tom Brady got suspended, him,

Portnoy, and two of our other guys went down to NFL headquarters in Manhattan, handcuffed themselves together, and had, like, free Brady signs. And what started out, I was like, I'm sure they were like, let's just go down there and get video footage. They got fucking, they went to jail. And the funniest

rules. I remember, because I was just paging through trying to find the guest that ass And then I saw that and I was like The Brady 4 Yeah the Brady 4 The biggest thing about this iconic picture Is I'm not in it I'm like right behind Dave I think

The amount of times The amount of times that guest that ass made me jerk off at work Hey think about the ones Fucking posting it brother The amount of times that guess that ass made me jerk off at work. Hey, think about the ones fucking posting it, brother. I looked for an ass for fucking two hours today. You think I'm not going to come over it? Is that real? That's real?

Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's fucking real. Well, because also some of the cops were like fans. Fans, you know, let's take pictures. But go back to one of the pictures that has all of them. The guy in the blue Patriots 12. He, they got to jail. It was like, you did 24 hours?

You did an overnight? We did an overnight. We didn't think we were going to do an overnight. We thought we were going to be able to get out. Because we got in at the worst possible time. We got in at like, I want to say 4 p.m. Right? Like judges can't do it.

Right? So like you have to stay until you can see a judge. And I forget exactly what time it was, but it was it was later in the day. So still. So we slept. But still thinking at the beginning, thinking they were going to maybe get out that day. And then like, if not, worst case scenario, you do got to spend the night in the morning. Then 45 minutes, the kid took a shit in the fucking like communal toilet in the junk in the holding tank

so you would do it you just pointed at you so everyone's quiet I mean there was an open his asshole knows no bounds it's a Dude I have to say this His asshole knows no bounds Yeah It's a human function Well That's what Hank said So I mean

The stories are endless There was this guy Diaper boy And they like You know There's too much to tell now But the funniest way They described it

Was at one point You know You're kind of All in different cells Where there's walls But it's all open But you can't see each other. And all of a sudden they just heard the little, like a little tank noise of shit hitting a metal toilet.

Oh, he took a rabbit shit. And Dave goes, Hank, are you? No, it wasn't Dave. It was someone. It was somebody else. It was someone at the end of the corridor. And we thought we were the only three in jail at noon on a Tuesday and someone just goes

did you just take a shit and Hank very kind of like like reservedly goes uh yeah and he goes N-word what I've been in jail three times this week and I've never taken shit

that's a crazy move Because I've been in jail three times this week, and I'd never take a shit. That's a crazy move. Like, hold it for, like, at the least. Did it smell? I'm sure it wasn't great. I don't know. I don't think it smelled. Like, I never smelled it. It's just more like.

So no harm. I still fell. You heard a fart echo throughout a metal toilet. And, like, everyone was like, what the fuck was that? Yeah. I mean, you can't. You don't think you can hold it until, like, the morning? Yeah. That's what I said. You know, it's like, pee is one thing. No, you can hold shit for, like, you know fuck was that? Yeah. I mean, you can't hold it until the morning.

Yeah. That's what I said. You know, it's like pee is one thing. You can hold shit for like, you know. There's one time where I will not shit, and it's on a team bus if it's over 85 degrees. That was the most specific thing. I did not see that coming. Hey, Siri, what's the weather? I got to shit.

If it's over 85 and you're on the team bus, you cannot shit. That's the only time. Expect cloudy skies. Temperatures will be fairly consistent. Going down now, right? That would be 84 degrees. Buckle up, boys. It's time to shit.

If you're playing a team up north And you got a long drive You can shit Dude If you're down in Florida As someone who played A little A little New England hockey

Yeah I'd shit Yeah Yeah dude But if the squad's in Florida Yeah You cannot shit And you're in trouble Just hold it

Madness You can't shit in Florida On the team bus Yeah dude You cannot Oh my god You playing at Disney World Smelling Unadulterated dump In Jacksonville Hold it. Madness. You can't shit in Florida on the team bus. Yeah, dude. You cannot. Oh, my God. You playing at Disney World? Smelling unadulterated dump in Jacksonville?

It's like eating the ass of a rhino. All right, let's go to Answer the Internet. Stuff Island. Check out the podcast. Check out the Patreon. Tickets for Chris on stage. Are you not... You're not...

We're going to be getting the tour going. We're going to be getting the tour going not We're gonna be getting The tour going We're gonna be getting The tour going We're gonna get the tour going We got the tour going Alright Wait what's your guys next Are you doing a Patreon

Like goal thing This many thousand people You're gonna like kill each other Well we were doing Four thousand And going to Monza But Monza passed And we did get to

Four thousand What's Monza It's the Italian Grand Prix It was the beginning of September I think we're gonna to go to Brazil. Oh, I heard this on the podcast. Somebody was talking about it. That's not like a...

That's just awesome. You guys should just do that anyway. Oh, yeah, yeah. But we're going to do like a look at dish. We're going to do a... Also, Babe Ruth. Oh, yeah. We're going to do Babe Ruth.

Yeah, we're going to do Babe Ruth. November? Oh, we're going to burn down houses and chicks. I'll set a date. We have to do it in November. Yeah. That's the last. All right.

You pick the date. I'm definitely in for a baby. All right. Yeah, yeah. Thank you. We'll do it. Let's do it on a football Sunday. Oh, yeah.

I like that a lot. Yeah. Fucking pint of whiskey for breakfast on a football Sunday? Yeah. Hopefully they're playing in London. We can start early. I got swamp ass. It'd be unbelievable.

I know. I tried to tickle you and I got wet. Hello, mother. How are you? I have a request. I'm going to bail on this weekend. Is that okay? That's totally okay. Yes, of course. Okay. I'm going to go to London. Oh, you're going to London?

Yeah. He called me this morning and he has tickets to the Liverpool match and... That was on the Liverpool match. Oh, great. That was always on the potential agenda anyway, wasn't it? Right, and I have to spend that money by the end of the year. I have until December to spend it,

and it kind of makes a lot of sense to line up right now with him. Yeah. So I'm going to get our flights. He's got our tickets, and I'm going to go on Friday, I think. Beautiful. I'm excited for you. That's really think. Beautiful. I'm excited for you. That's really cool. Are you?

Of course I am. All right, because I almost bailed because I knew I said I'd see you this weekend. Oh, for God's sake. All right. All right, I'm going to go. I'm going to do it. I'm so excited for you.

That's great. Thank you. Bye.