KFC Radio - Tommy Smokes Is Known As "Intimidating" Around the Barstool Office - Full Episode

Episode Date: October 31, 2022

Tommy Smokes talks about trying to get cancelled, being the leader of the Yankee pack, advancing from "Alarmingly Stupid" to the Tommy Smokes he is today, getting laughed at by bouncers and much much mroe. Catch the rest of the podcast here: https://linktr.ee/kfcr #KFCRadio #BarstoolSportsYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Yeah, I put a bunch of, I don't know, just random stuff on there. Put, uh, what's-her-face on there, thumbnails of her, and then get all the views from that. Oh, milk her like a cow. Hello, Thomas. Tommy. Tommy. Tommy.

Tommy. Tommy. Tommy. Tommy! Tommy! Tommy! Tommy! Tommy! Tommy! Tommy! Tommy! Come, this way would be easier. This way would be easier, right? There's less stuff. It's up to you.

Maybe not, maybe I was wrong. Tommy Smokes! Hey, Tommy. What's your name? Thomas Michael, probably? Yeah, how did you know that? Because you're a fucking... Because you're a dumb Italian.

Thomas Michael Scabelli is like... Thomas Michael Joseph. We include my confirmation name. Oh, my God! Why did you choose Joseph? Because he's a dumb kitty. Grandpa's name? Well, one grandpa was Michael,

other grandpa was Joseph. Yeah, Joseph Michael, it's, you know... Anthony is my dad's middle name. Grandpa's name? Well, one grandpa was Michael. Other grandpa was Joseph. Yeah, Joseph Michael. Anthony is my dad's middle name. He's Thomas Anthony. You've really covered them all. Pretty much. You greasy watch. I mean, I can't really make fun of that because mine's Connor.

Yeah, you're on the other side. John Connor Feidelberg. No, it's Connor, my confirmation name. John Henry is my middle name. Connor is my confirmation name. And I strictly chose that because it's one of the characters in Boondock Saints. Oh, that's right.

The worst. One of the most embarrassing things about a person they can admit to. Yeah. They picked a permanent type thing, whether it's a tattoo or a name or whatever, based on the Boondock Saints. I did think as a kid my confirmation name was going to matter a lot more. I feel like when they're like, you've got to pick your confirmation name. It doesn't matter at all.

I could have told you guys it was like Jamal right now. When I was a kid, I wanted to change my name to Steelers quarterback. Cordell. Your first name. I was in CCD. I would sign my CCD

fucking worksheets and stuff like that. I'd write Cordell Feidelberg. You have to fucking stop doing this. That's not your name. Elementary school. It's funny that you don't realize. And then I want to change it to Terrell. Once Cordell got shot down, I want to be Terrell Davis.

You think of it in your mind at that age. You're just like, I like these football players. And on the CCD instructor's mind, they're like, this fucking kid just wants to be a black dude. I'm thinking so much deeper than that. What is going on? But yeah, I wish I had the foresight to know that confirmation names, to be a little funny. Be like, Mom, I'm Jamal. Oh, I walked downstairs with the Boondock Saints DVD case in my hand. And I was like, it's going to be a little funny. Be like, Mom, I'm Jamal. Oh, I walked downstairs with the Boondock Saints DVD case in my hand.

And I was like, it's going to be Connor. Your parents were like, he's so fucking stupid. But the name you picked was fine. Yeah, yeah. If you came in, if the name was like Shillelagh or something, you'd be like, well, all right, relax. You could just lie. Maybe I'll just start lying.

There's no proof of your confirmation. When do we even have to say it? Never. If somebody asks you. Even my confirmation itself was achieved under false pretenses because I forged all my community service.

Not like I didn't go and mail it in. I forged the papers that said I even went anywhere. You created the papers? I forged it all. Shay the other day forged a signature. Didn't even know it was great. That's awesome. Shay, the other day, forged a signature. Didn't even know it. It was great.

When you do homework, you have to have your parents sign it. That used to only be when you failed. And that's when I learned how to do my dad's signature, which turns out I now have the exact same signature. Funny enough. I bet. My mom had such a distinct... Actually, I'll write it out in a second.

But Shay said, I was like, did you do your homework, baby? And she was like, yes, I did all my math and all my English, and I even wrote your name for you. Thinking that she was doing me a favor. Extra credit. I was like, that's not how this works, baby. Also, Keegan bombed his standardized tests. I don't think that my five-year-old son knows what it is or how to do it.

Rhyming, not his thing. He got a 0% on – Yeah, he will not be a rapper. I guess it's not really – It was like a – It doesn't matter what it's out of. It's zero. It was like a chart of, you know, these fucking standardized tests.

How are you – What is he getting, four? How are you doing standardized tests at four? That's what I'm saying. He's five now, but it's like, yeah. These were called the map growths. So it's like a, you know, early growths so it's like a you know early detection sort of thing like is your kid fucking stupid we got to find out now uh zero on that test isn't

great yeah yeah yeah so like counting he got a 20 but i'm like bro i know you know how to count i watched him count so like i've seen him count but like higher than shea who's older one time he got high he kept going it was like almost like a Tommy chant he was like 31

32 33 and he clicked and you just keep going back to one I was gonna say once you I can do it

I can go on forever once you get the hang of it counting exceptionally easy so easy one of the easiest things you can do like I remember thinking like how could I count that high?

It's not high. It's just a different number. But yeah, on phonological awareness. What does that mean? Is that rhyming? Phonological. Phonics. It means like your iPhone.

How good are you? This is max. Phonics. Yeah, it's like sound basically so they did matching sounds which i guess would maybe be like you hear like a a drum and you have to say oh that's the sound of a drum i guess we're like a macaw you think that's a chicken i don't know this sounds really hard and i don't know what a drum sounds like a snare drum with the hi-hat. And then they did rhyming sounds, which I'm assuming is probably like, you know, what rhymes with bet? Is it get, got, or, you know, and he got a fat goose egg.

You'd think he'd even stumble into one of those. Oh, no, I'm sorry, matching sounds. So maybe the hard part, he got a 20% on rhyming. Okay. But either way. Rhyming's hard, too, if we're being honest. Eh. You know.

I mean, there are the easy ones like bet and get, but then there are some that are fucking, like, wait, those don't even, at the end, they're not the same letters. How does that rhyme? So we've been talking about doing, we're going to get it. Actually, I have it in my possession. We just haven't done it yet. You will not be invited to this because you'll win it and you'll be annoying about it. Okay.

Sounds about right. I think we kind of did it on, lowering the bar did we take a test like young kids tests uh we did like a elementary school math test like multiplication tables which i did win yeah i thought i won that uh no no it was um something that i uh i crushed though but i don't think you were in it or something oh i, I do know what you're talking about. No, you were in it, too. It's just I don't care about these things, and it doesn't make my personality. Right, right, right.

It does do that for me. There is something you beat me. I don't remember what it was. It was like school-related, though. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It might have been like we took a third-grade test, maybe, or something at some point. I think I dominated you on the peg game, too. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I pegged the shit out of you I think. But then I learned

how to do it for the lowering the bar tournament. If you memorize it, it's like the same thing all the time. It's like a pretty basic thing. Anyway, so we're going to do this test because we're dumb and shit's different now. I tried to help Shay with her homework the other day and I like, we did it completely wrong the first time. We had to erase the whole fucking page and do it over again. I tried to help Shay with her homework the other day, and we did it completely wrong the first time.

We had to erase the whole fucking page and do it over again. I mean, they make you do math very hard now. The common core or something? The question was 9 plus 5. 14. Yes, but what they want you to do, or let's do it was 7 plus 5. John? 13.

12. Close. 12. What they want you to do is get to ten. So they want you to take three out of the five and add that to the seven. So you get ten. And then the two remaining from the five, because you took three out, you add to the ten. It's twelve.

And so they said, draw your counters to add this up. So they make them draw like one two one circle two circle three circle four circle and then you count it all up and i was like and it makes sense but i'm also like you know what's easier than this just like kind of memorizing that seven plus five is twelve yeah just not being an idiot yeah like i would rather them just like you have to look at that until you know it right like multiplication tables are memorization right like eight times seven you're not thinking about right you're just like seven sets of eight you know the numbers but i think now they actually try to 56 32 40 48 56 yeah yeah yeah i shouldn't

spoil that did you how about uh I'm all over the place here, but this is all to say that the kids' school is stupid. Oh, and to the rhyming point, there was a picture of a bib, and it said circle all the things that have the same sound as that. And I'm sitting there going like, pig, pig. Okay, we got that one. Pig is the same sound as bib? Pig and bib.

But that's what I mean. It's not like rhyming. It's like sounds like. What? I don't like that. That's not. I know. So I'm going through all these pictures.

First of all, some of the pictures, I was like, is that a book or a bag? I don't even know what I'm looking at. Crib? Crib's one. So Crib was on there. But even that one, I was sitting there, I was like, there's another word for Crib.

A cradle? Whatever it was, I was like, I was saying that. Manger? Huh? Manger? No. Not a manger, bro. 3 B.C.? We're in Nazareth right now. But it's all to say that I was like reading it and I kind of got scared.

And my nanny looked at me and she was like, you don't know what you're doing, do you? And I'm like, no. I'm hoping that it gets a little bit easier. Like it's almost like the really early shit is confusing because I don't know how they're doing it. And then like algebra or calculus and shit. I don't know. But maybe in the middle I'll be helping. You're hoping to get to high school.

Yeah. It's hard to teach. I feel like a kid. Like I tutored like my senior year of high school, like a sixth grader. And it was like if you didn't get it there, well, you're a dumb. Yeah. I also 1,000% believe that I would be a terrible teacher because I have such low expectations. No patience as well.

But like such low self-confidence where I'm like, if I know how to do this, then you should know how to do this. You should be. I'm so dumb. You have absolutely no excuse. If I can do this, there's no excuse for you not to be able to do this. Right. And I think about almost everything.

I just told you it. You know, like I would have one way to explain something, and if you still got it wrong, I'd be like, well, that's on you. Like keep reading what I just told you. Read that over and over again until it sinks in my my mom is a a teacher of sorts now um she she works at like a uh i can see it's basically she she volunteers at like um i don't want to say it's not a halfway house but it's a it's a home for where young kids live who have been basically but it's not an orphanage either i i can't really explain it it's kids who are not healthy mentally um and i mean that like from trauma

points and stuff like that living in a home and my mom was like i'd like to volunteer here like we'd love to have you and then she gets in there and they're like you're gonna be the math tutor and i was like oh but i don't know how to do math. Well you'll probably be better than them. No she's not. She'll tell you she's not. I hate to, after meeting the kids a little bit, I hate to be the bare bad news here but this feels like, some of the kids their hands aren't allowed to be in pockets. Their hands have to be visible at all times because they're that kind of danger to themselves.

And I was like, I don't want to diminish schoolwork, but this feels like really low on what their needs are. We got a couple other things to do first before we're learning the mathematics, the timetables. This kid's going to put a knife in his mouth. He doesn't know what 7 times 6 is. The kids love her because she doesn't

baby them. They're like, oh, finally someone in my life would as a baby. I'm sure. I could see Polly walking in like, dap it up. Handshake, doing gang symbols. The whole night. I say all this to say that she's, as a math tutor, they're absolutely not

supposed to use calculators and that's you know and your child child maps you're definitely use calculators and then like once they get like five right my mom's like you know you can do it why do you have to do 30 of these yeah you're done you're good you get the idea behind right which i think makes a lot of sense how what you grew up old are you? 26 You're still pretty young You've been around for so long I forget that It's getting hard I'm pretty young

But every year it gets a little harder to say that I'm so young 27 is it I'm at this point Vince Vaughn on Wedding Crash is like Just a couple kids out here having fun How old are you? 34

Oh, you're old. But to me, fights is like 30 forever. Because when he was really young, I thought we were closer in age. I think there was just a period of time where I didn't know how old Pied of Borg was. And I assumed he was like, I was 25, and he was probably like 24 in my head. But you were probably like 21 or actually 12. We can do the math, right? You're four years? Four years four years yeah so like i was like i didn't realize that at first and then so at one point i thought he was older and then i realized like no he's younger and now you're just like permanently 30 yeah i'll take that yeah just and you're i know you're not in

your 20s that's all that's all i can say about it but so you grew up in, what was your SATs, 2400? Yeah, 2400. I do not respect anybody who had the 2400 SATs. I think I had the second to last year of 2400 SATs. I had the very first. You had the first year? Oh, I don't respect you either. Huh. I would have thought you were a 1600 guy.

I was an 1860 kid, something like that. 1860 at 2400? That can't be very good. I didn't get into any colleges, so. I mean, I was a 2130 for some of the scores, but. 1860, yes. It was in the 18s. So it was like math and verbal were the same, and then they added reading and writing, right?

So if you were to take reading and writing. I got a perfect score on that. If I was taking writing out. Well, yeah, if you did like a 1600, what would you have gotten? 1440. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You scream like good SATs. i love a good test yeah i like it like i'd much rather do that than like an essay i was always like an essay i gotta work on a bunch or like a project

like a test you just go and it's over yeah it's just like an hour for sure uh were you like i i did always love the kids were like i'm just not a good test taker it's like no you're an idiot oh yeah two things like first of all – No, you're an idiot. Well, yeah, two things. Like first of all, yeah, no, you're just an idiot. Second of all, that's the thing. If you're not good at that, like sorry, dude. I think Daniel Tosh has a joke about that where he's like, you mean the way we test your intelligence?

You're not good at that? Yeah. So it's like someone being like, I'm a great artist. But once I put paint to a canvas, it just falls apart. I'm not a good artist. I interviewed once to work at a trading desk on the NYMEX where they trade natural gas and oil and all that shit. And I did end up still getting it 100% because it was a favor. But I was just going to be the bitch who runs their trades and puts them in the computer. I was a clerk, they call it.

But part of it is that you kind of got to know what's going on in the trading world, and you got to be able to add up these trades with these trades. And at one point, they just say to me in the middle of the interview, they just go, 67 times 42. And it was kind of like what I was saying with my kids. They want you to go like, well, 60 times 40, and then you add them all up, right? In the interview, I just went, I was like,

oh, hang on a second. I'm sorry. I'm just not very good at mental math. And it's like, I believe... That's what we were testing you on, is if you had good mental math skills or not. You just fucking told it. Yeah, so... I think maybe. I mean, the tism's coming out. That's what we were testing you on is if you had good mental math skills or not. You just fucking told it. Yeah.

I think maybe. I mean, the tism's coming out. No, no, 2814. 2614. I don't even remember the numbers that I gave you. 2814. Oh, it was 2814. Yeah.

Okay. Sorry, I shouldn't have doubted myself. Don't question the tism. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't question it. But to just blatantly, like the guy on the other side was like, ah, like don't say that. Like we're going to have to hire you because, like, you're a friend. But, like, don't blatantly let everyone know that you can't do math. You know, nepotism.

You got the job. It's fine. One of the greatest, out of all, like, the mush and bad luck that I've ever had, I was going into this interview. I mean, at the time, I was going to make, like, $20 an hour or something, which was like fucking over the moon type money. What have you been more? Whatever it was, I was super excited about out of college. This was my junior year into senior year. And that was the other thing.

I was like, I was going to try to do finance. And now that I think about it, I think it was probably even more than that because I have a family friend who made millions day trading and he was young. He was like 24 at the time. And so he was like, I'll slide you in here with my friends. And I was like, I'm not like,

they were kind of like, his name is Kevin too. Like, Oh, you're like, Kevin vouchers for you. Like, you know what you're doing.

I was like, Oh boy, do you not know what you're about to get into? There was this book. That's like the Bible for options trading. It's like, everybody has to read it if you're going to and sell options and shit and before the interview I'm sitting there and at the last second I legit open up to the middle of it just

being like I don't let me get some like last little bit and it was like the first question in there was that page like I the question was if I gave you a dollar if you roll a dice and whatever comes up on that die, you get $1 for. And I think we got five rolls. How much money would you pay me for the right to play that game? And I had just read the formula. And it was like $12.50. And he was like

there's only one way to do that so like if you know that you know you know your shit you're good and i was like oh my god what a stroke of luck i mean like truly it ended up just being i got a summer job but it was like if you just think about the the chances of it all one in a zillion that i happen to just boom get to that and you know you do the math it's just like simple math once you know how to do it and I think in the interview I was like did you guys did you see that anyway this is all about

Tommy Scabelli are you coming to my party on Friday yeah am I officially invited yeah I officially invited you yesterday you were on that rundown you gotta be on well you were there, weren't you? You came off like a Yankees tape thing, didn't you?

I heard your voice. We asked who's the leader of the Yankee pack, and you said me. Oh, I said myself. I didn't know you guys were talking about a part. No, Kelly Keys was like, oh, you going to John's party on Friday? And I said, excuse me? She was like, hey, he's building a skeleton or something. I was like, that sounds...

Yeah, it came in today. You want to see it? Yeah, sure. It's fucking... The box is so fucking big. But yeah, I'll be there. I mean, I would like maybe... The box actually does not do it justice.

Yeah, it looks like a pretty normal box. I was going to say... What are you talking about it looks like a normal box? My fucking neighbor put a note being like, can you pick up your box and take it out of the apartment? I'm just telling you, the box doesn't do what you think the box does. Really? Nick, show it. Can you send me the screenshot of the parts? I'm just telling you, the box doesn't do what you think the box does. Really?

Nick, show it. Can you send me the screenshot of the parts? That does it justice. The box just looks like a box. It's a fucking humongous box. It doesn't look that big. Big vagina. That box needs to be

hitting the ceiling for me to be like, oh, whoa, it's a big skeleton. But it's, all right, I guess the part, so it's crazy. I tried to take it up myself. Wait, do I, like,

if I come, I gotta, like, build it? No, no, no, no, no, no. The party's gonna be happening while we'll be constructing it. He's gotta be a part of it. And maybe Donnie, if Donnie can swing it. Gotcha. Yeah, I would love to come and just not do any manual work.

Yeah, yeah. I think we're gonna have a live stream. What time should I be there? Let's say 8 o'clock. Oh, okay. Nice. By the time we listen, this is a skeleton below. I've already been constructed. Oh, true.

But while John thought, I think that it was going to be like putting together a mannequin. Like, put the arm in, put the leg in, and then we looked it up, and there's like the pelvis and like the humorous leg. How long do you think it's going to take? So now, I mean. Does it have like a i i texted to you um is there like somewhere like like you're streaming this i think we're gonna live stream the skeleton the party will be in a different room um but i think we're gonna live so you can do all the drugs you want um but the uh it's i don't want to open the whole fucking page you wait for it but it's like uh you know you got oh my god all these but it's like you got all of these parts

it's like putting together that's not a skeleton what do they call that thing I guess it's a skeleton is it I feel like there's a term for it in med school cadaver? I guess it's a skeleton I'm just saying it's not like a Halloween skeleton

it's like a fucking med school skeleton it's going to be a pain in my goddamn ass. I regret everything I did with this. Well, I mean, as always, you regret. But we're going to do something with the live. And this comes out later, so it doesn't really matter about the live stream. But we're going to live stream it with subscribers. However, I think we're going to think of a number.

And however long, how many subscribers we get from it is how long I have to leave the skeleton up. So like every 50 is a week or something like that. and then it'll send up staying up for the rest of your life depending on the numbers the skeleton might be with you forever it is it is but Tommy's imagine the party because Tommy loves being invited to a party I love being invited are you gonna come in costume do I have to you don't have to get some like cat ears or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's encouraged though.

It's encouraged. I'm not going all out. I really hate costumes. Why do you hate costumes? It's just so hard to go find one what's good. It's so impossibly easy. No, I disagree. Or you can walk into a CVS and get one.

I don't like it. I want to go as like an old viral – I want to go as like Alex from Target or Ken Bone. Like something that's very clearly outdated, but pretend like it's like – You guys haven't seen Alex from Target? I was going to say, if you go too old, then it becomes kind of funny. It's like, cool.

It's like an Island Turtles kid or something. Yeah. But like that in-between of like it's not old enough to be nostalgic and it's not new enough to be cutting edge. You just – Ken Bone is a good one. We like i'm getting bones i'm gonna kill you you could be seriously theoretically you could be serious theoretically if you're ken right right ken bone's a good one um oh you don't go buy a sweater and shit no it's perfect do the ocean spray skateboard guy but that's just last year, right?

That's what I mean, though. It's like you're just doing a band. Being a year late is brutal. You know what I'm talking about? The guy, it was not Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young. It was Fleetwood Mac. Fleetwood Mac was playing, and he was skating, and he just chugged ocean spray.

You know that, bro. You absolutely know, right? It was the beginning of tiktok beginning of pandemic everybody loved that he was playing fleetwood mac and roller uh and skateboarding down like the california boardwalk drinking ocean spray i'm judging a book by its cover i mean i guess you know what head tattoos we explained it a thousand times exactly and he's like he doesn't know i'll pretend i guess i'll make you guys like like that that's almost like the test taking It's like we explained exactly what he is. Oh, he does.

Yeah, he looks familiar. But I don't know. I mean, you can't explain it any more than that. I was surprised. Maybe he was and I missed it. And again, as I said, I'm judging a book by its cover because he had head tattoos. I'm surprised he never got milkshake ducked. Yeah, I think he may have.

I might be judging a book by its cover as well. Yep. Yeah, I think he... He may have. I might be... Yep, yep. Might be doing what I shouldn't be doing. But the... I mean, you got head tattoos. I gotta assume you have some kind of criminal past. Right. That's just...

Yeah, that's a fair assumption. I think that's a very fair assumption. That's why you should... Tommy, you should get a head tattoo. Do you have a tattoo? No, I'm open to the idea of getting a tattoo. I just don't know what I want to get. I don't want to put something that I'm not.

Why don't you get a fucking Yankees NY on your neck, you fucking loser? When I was a kid, I was like, I'm going to get the Yankee NY. I knew it. In red, white, and blue with the Italian flag draped over it right on my bicep. It's like, this is why I am how I am. I decided not to do that. I think it'd be funny to get a date that's very random, like Jason Bateman's birthday.

It's like a very random date that has no significance to my life. They're like, oh, what, is Jason Bateman in your family or something? No, he's in The Changeup. Love Identity. Identity's the worst. Oh, I can't stand it. Oh, my God.

It's the perfect Bateman. It's so... I turned it off. I don't even know that one. That's crazy. Melissa McCarthy. It is. It's still the same.

It was early in Melissa McCarthy's career when she was still doing the, I'm bad, I'm funny, huh? I actually find Melissa McCarthy very funny now. I think she's kind of changed her tune a bit. She's great. Bridesmaids, she's amazing. Bridesmaids, she's amazing. This was after Bridesmaids,

I think. Yeah, but it was like that, her thing had worn, right around this call, of course. But Nick Tirani has said to me before, and maybe I shouldn't be explaining his tattoo ideas,

but he wants to get just the date that he's getting the tattoo. Yeah, that place too. Right, right, right. Very meta.

We get it. You're so clever um okay now that i would imagine you have enough perspective to not get a fucking yankees yeah i my favorite thing with the yankee fans is i remember uh tom lay and frankie it was right at the peak of every game i was taking pictures of the crowd and tweeting out all the skills and and creatures from Yankee Stadium. What does Skell mean? Sorry. Like you're a degenerate scumbag.

Doesn't like Rico. It's like you're like a – Skell gets used a lot here, and I kind of just nod my head with it. I've never really known what it means. It's like you're almost like a – Which was bad. You're like a vagrant fucking – I don't want to say homeless because it's not like a synonym for homeless,

but it's kind of like you're a skeleton, you're a piece of trash. Yeah, okay, there you go. So I just remember them being like, you could do this with any fucking fan base. It was everybody. And then I think it was one of the one-game wild cards. It was a treasure trove. It was like a thousand in a row and tommy uh tom and and frankie were like it was

like jesse from uh breaking bands like this can't keep happening why is it every single time i was just laughing all my way to the bank because that fan base is just a bunch of fucking absolute zeros we did buy the big yankee chains the other day, the gold chains at the Yankee store. 40 bucks for the cheapest gold chain ever. The fact that those are so popular. This was last playoffs, last hockey playoffs. And I went to a Bruins game and I saw just tons of them. And I was like, what the fuck is going on? How are these so popular?

And I was tweeting about it. Every person I see has one of these on. And then people who worked across the country, people who worked in gift shops and stuff like that, were like, we can't keep them on the shelves. People were replying, being like, they just fucking fly, fly, fly. Did one athlete start it? Was it like a... I think it maybe is born of the turnover chain.

Yeah, I mean, that would be the first time I ever heard of it. They were selling also wrestling belts with the Yankee logo. Guess how much money? $1.20. No. $500. What? Or $450 or something.

And they said they sold out. Was it like metal? They sold out. I didn't touch it or feel it, but insane to spend that money on that. And to sell out. And that's why they sold out, because a bunch of fucking Yankee skills are wearing them everywhere you go. Yeah, I guess. I don't know.

It's bizarre. You are, so to go back to where we started, Thomas Michael Joseph Schiavelli. I can't remember that. But you are just the furthest from a Thomas Michael Joseph Schiavelli. You are a Joshua. Benjamin Morton style. I was going to say Joshua, but yes, Mortenstein. Perfect.

Benjamin Mortenstein. I wear shorts with Converse sneakers and black tube socks pulled all the way up with a baggy t-shirt. I got my Yamacon and I'm blowing my nose. I think I'm allowed to get offended by anti-Semitism. That's how Jewish I basically am. Bro, if we were... I'm burning all my Kanye albums.

You can't say that about us. If you were outside on the street with a yarmulke and a billboard burning Kanye albums, not a person in the world would question it. Yeah, that fits. Yes. I could see other Jewish guys walking up being like, shalom, brother. Yeah, man. Yeah, you're the most Jewish Gentile that I think has ever existed. I guess other than Jesus.

Yeah, true. He was kind of like that. He was Jewish. I guess he's the other way around. He's the most Gentile Jewish guy ever. You are the anti- I'm the anti-Christ. There's your title.

But it's staggering how much you're not Jewish. You and Mark Normand, you know him, the comedian? He's not Jewish either. Exactly, right? Wow. New York City guy, Mark Normand, curly hair. He even said that in one of his bits. He's like, kind of what we just said. He's like, I'm so close.

Come on. I went to a show at The Stand. He performed. Ari Shaffir, you guys know him. He performed. I was sitting front row, which was a mistake. And he pointed out to me. The Stand is also close quarters.

He said something to me. He was like, so you're Jewish, right? And I was like, no, I just look and act it. And he was like, yeah, you really do. Yeah, I mean, if there was a Dave Chappelle racial draft, I don't even think you would be, like, traded, or it would just be like, yeah, he's on the Jews. It would be one of those things, like, it happens in hockey sometimes

where there's, like, a family member of, like, a legend on this team. Like, I have a Patrick Watt's son, I think. Okay. Where, like, no one took him. He wasn't going to be... He's going to the Avalanche. He wasn't... Or whatever. Canadians. He wasn't a great player.

So it was like, no one take him. Let him go to the seventh round. Yes. And the Canadians will take him. And that's the kind of deal. Yeah, no one would even fuck this up. Yeah. Because they need each other.

It's already a done deal. Just let it happen and go. That's fucking great. That is funny that is funny or yeah like a free agent going home you know what i mean yeah it's like like when savaris went to the leafs it was like let tommy go to the jews we know where it's hard but also yeah like i want to say this and this might be controversial i was very impressed with the tribe and how they handled Kanye West. They made quick work.

Swift. Very, very good. Like, quick, fast. They shut that shit down. And I think that was kind of proving Kanye true by being like, they run shit. It's like, yeah, they do, bro. They took away your bank account.

They took away your fucking Spotify, your albums. But it was... And we've seen every race and every ethnicity get offended by some loud mouth somewhere over and over again white black everywhere in between and and nothing happens right it's like you get you get some heat on twitter you maybe get some pushback here there lose some fans within a week or two, the Chosen's just were built different. We are built different.

He closes school today. He closes school today. Doesn't he have to? First of all, I don't know if you have to, but everyone paid $15,000 tuition. Yeah. It's only in October.

School started last month. What even was the school? If you're irrational enough to send your kid to Kanye's school, you wouldn't think you're rational enough to pull them out now. Yeah. They're probably riding through it. The only footage I've ever seen of it. Of them singing Good Morning?

It was very culty. It was very culty. But I guess all those things are very – it's just like the frame with what you watch. It was kids singing in the morning. I was like, that's a cult. All those things are very... It's just like the frame with what you watch. It was kids singing in the morning. But I was like, that's a cult. But I'm sure some of them were all in the same clothes.

They were all wearing black. That changes kids singing in the morning? All in their own outfits that their parents picked out? Beautiful. Kids singing in the morning. Kids singing in all the fucking exact uniform? Like a hood on and shit? You're a cult. Yeah.

I also... It's not a real school when Antonio Brown and Aaron Donald and all these athletes are the heads of it. No, that was different. That was Donda Sports. That was a sports agency. All those guys were leaving. I thought they were part of the board of the school.

No, Jalen Brown in his statement had something like, I've made a relationship with some of the kids at Donda Academy. I look forward to keeping that together. Oh, okay. All right. They were just represented by Donda. And they all bounced on the label. Yeah.

I mean, that's crazy because he's done. Yeah, I don't – I'm still going to listen to – Like, who is not going to – I think even Jewish people will stop listening to Con. The Jews will kick you out. No, they're not going to stop listening. They're –

Jesus Walks is such a banger. You can't stop listening. There is – It is weird. Music is tough. People still listen to R. Kelly. I was going to say,'t stop listening to it. There is – it is weird. Music is tough. People still listen to R. Kelly. I was going to say, if you listen to R. Kelly or Michael Jackson, you're going to be like, Kanye said mean words.

But I think that a lot of people will think twice or not buy the sneakers anymore. I think that a lot of people will. I actually had a dream last night that they were all going for $50. Or maybe that was real. I don't know. I could – I mean, that – this will be very interesting because I think it's the first time that someone of his magnitude, you know, in the spotlight. Like Harvey Weinstein was huge. He was like behind the scenes.

This guy has a huge fan base that usually will like die for him. And I've seen enough of the people being like he did this on purpose because he wanted to get out of his contract. And he doesn't really mean these things. He just needed to get out. And this was his only way to do it whatever you think like if he can if he somehow still makes money and has juice through this then like he's the goat because when you have every lawyer label doctor scientist whoever is like no man we're not fucking with you if you somehow still pull off success, he's the one. I would be very surprised to see Kanye get back from this any time soon.

I feel like he will. What are we defining as get back? Like have a new album. Have an album out? Oh, I bet he has an album out within like two years. Okay, but there will be recompense before that there will be like he'll have to say i'm sorry i went to i went to a mental health counseling i mean america loves tearing people down just to build them back right right yeah there is i yeah i'm not saying he'll never

make music again but there will it will not just be like i think it's more than for a while that kind of makes a new album the music is one thing because like you can i think you can kind of self-produce these days and put out on your own. Doesn't he have that thing? He had his own player or something. What's it called? Dental or something? It's like a Donda thing.

Yeah, like it was his own. He calls everything Donda. I think it was a different name, though. I think he might have some other issues. I think it's similar, but so he'll probably put his shit on there, and the really true diehards will find it, and nobody else will,

but anything that's like, I think it'll be hard to like tour or do any other business because you're gonna run into some guys it's actually crazy at some point someone who signs a paper is gonna have a stein or a wits or whatever and they're gonna be like we made it i legit feel like there was do you you remember when... Remember like pre... You probably don't know this, but before the internet, when it snowed out,

there was the phone chain to tell you like, hey, I call Feidelberg. I actually don't think... Do you know that? We just got like a call from the school. Okay. We used to have like...

I know what they are, the phone trees, but I don't think we ever had them. Okay. We had like, I call the Scabellis, the Scabellis call the Feidelbergs. Why not the school just call everyone? I think it's just a lot of work for that person to just.

Oh, I guess. So it's like we place one call, and then they do the rest. Ours was like, I think ours was just basically like, watch the news. Yeah. You're on your own. Right, right. But this is all, I think that, like, they picked up the phone and said, like, it's DeathCon 1. DeathCon 3.

And they all just agreed. Everyone called up and said, nobody fuck with Kanye. And then that's it. It was quick fast. It was very impressive. I'm very proud of your people, Tommy. Thank you. So these are kind of behind the blog-ish.

Did someone cancel last minute? No. I think I got to like 30 seconds before. No, I will be transparent. We've been trying to do this with Frankie for about eight weeks straight, and I'm at the point where maybe he'll never come on ever again because you can't turn down someone like eight times in a row. I expect me to continue asking.

Yeah, he's just a bad person. Also, Simple Trent is his... Simple Trent's his co-host. Yeah, Simple Trent has to carry a drool bucket around or something. Just in case. We're facing off against Evan the Dozen next week. I'm so excited.

Carry a drool bucket around. I'm not laughing. Open offer to Trent to come on the show and then he can respond that is one of the meanest and funniest things I think you can say about someone so I was talking to Trent the other day me, Nick and Trent we went to the bathhouse

oh you hit the bathhouse I love the bathhouse I'm stunned you love the bathhouse I'm Jewish it's literally like Jewish Turkish people Tommy's like I had a schvitz yeah by the way i learned i learned there that a schvitz isn't i thought a schvitz was just like jewish or um hasidic uh what do you what's a hebrew sweat eat for sweat yeah i didn't realize a schvitz is a kind of it's a it's a kind of uh sauna oh you go in like the schvitz schvitz is a kind of sauna.

You go in like the schvitz room. Schwitzing, interesting. Do you let the people whip you with fucking reeds and shit? Yeah, that was fun. I know you're Jewish, but you're also the germaphobe. It refreshes your body. I'm in a new mindset right now. That's why I say we start.

I've been meditating. Trent's been meditating too. And Trent's like he's able to. I just started, so I could do it for like Five minutes with an app And Trent's like Yeah I do it 20 minutes By myself every day And I'm like You have to be so stupid

To be able to clear your head For 20 minutes Like not a single thought Going through that Iowan little head of his You can do five I argue I do I argue I meditate

Longer than anybody alive I argue I meditate You're a lifelong meditator more than Dalai Lama. Like per day. He's that guy when your girlfriend's like, just tell me what you're thinking about. And he's like, nothing. I was like, no, come on.

It's like, no, legitimately, it is. I'll watch fucking three Netflix episodes, not register a single thing that you're still watching. I was like, I didn't even realize I was watching. I was deep in thought. God, you're so dumb But So

I would say In the world of Barstool People have talked about Writing books about this whole thing And people say Dave's going to write a book one day Or we'll all write a book one day And I always said We should drop like six at once.

And everybody has to pay for it. All incredibly conflicting stories. It would be like the Bible. You decide the truth. It would be like the gospel according to Feidelberg, the gospel according to KFC. And it's like, well, this guy said it happened like this. These guys got mad over that.

That would actually be a good way to – it's almost like a choose-your-own-adventure. If you're a Feidelberg fan, you want to hear the story according to Feidelberg. I couldn't tell you anything. I don't remember shit. I wasn't paying attention. I was meditating. But I always said that Hank is actually the guy I think should write one

because when you look at where he came from and where he's ended up and everything in between – and I'll tell you, Glennie Balls is on his heels right now. As far as guys who it's like, you know, Hank was the kid using the butter knife to break into the fucking stadium, making up schools and collecting tickets at a museum or some shit. And ended up, you know, now being like an executive at Barstool Sports. He's like the Jon Snow of the Barstool Sports. Yes. To a degree.

You can tell it through his eyes. Right. But you, though, your story might even be the true – we have to see where it ends up. But if you weren't at Barstool, your life would be it would be miserable radically different yeah radically if you think about

where you were and like just who you were at Alarmingly Stupid to now I think your life's very different how were you Alarmingly Stupid? I was a the worst Google searcher

rundown fact checker yeah gout yeah like yes gout these guys might yeah the question we were trying to figure out something about gout you know your google search was seinfeld i don't like these fat guys anymore we're just going what what

tom interview with me you're like three seconds away from getting kicked out. Tom, with the same teeth every day. He's like so stupid. This is a classic rundown, though. It's gone a million different ways. Alarmingly stupid is the thing he's going to say. So mean. That is so brutal. That whole exchange was like surreal watching him react. He might be able to get us credentials next year. Ten minutes behind the times

and like way off. Alarmingly stupid. Tom, alarmingly stupid tom alarmingly stupid no listen it makes sense it does but it also about if you got the answer it would have been it would have made sense you didn't have the answer no i was so far you gotta talk about what it's called when a boxer um like gets hit on the head and they have a when hasan rockman had that like remember that or some that was his name when he has that ridiculous bulge on his head we were looking for hematoma I believe

yeah yeah that's what you were looking for but I thought it was gout no I thought it was goiter

I thought it was goiter but I got goiter and gout confused I remember there's an episode of Seinfeld

where the is it a guy or girl so I typed in Seinfeld gout that was my search to try to figure out what a hematoma on a boxer's head was. It was so bad. And Loud Sean, he's the one that blew me up because he was like,

his search is literally Seinfeld gout. And it was right when Dave was kind of in like, you know, fuck these people mode or whatever. He's been in that one for a while. Yeah. But he was like, you, you are alarmingly stupid. And that stuck for a long time. And probably, I mean, your life, if you didn't sign up for,

if you didn't get in with Barstool, and then if you got in with Barstool and just stayed as alarmingly stupid, didn't have that March Madness run. Right. Because that's why I say your book would be filled with, like, talent and funny and, like, actual work, but also just filled with a fuck load of luck about your, you know,

I mean, becoming Dave's bottom for like a month during March madness. No, I went over his house for like a night for like six hours and he called me an Uber home. Gave me a gift basket and sent me on my way. I mean, look at this man. at this boy this is september that interview was so bad i bet it was well to be fair i thought i was interviewing with erica uh-huh based on the email that was really just office manager brett sending

it but i walked in there and it was i just saw dave oh wow so you were like holy shit yeah i was and that interview went really bad it went bad i was saved by the fact at the end that i i told him about the survive or uh survive which ironically enough because i ended up being survived barstool but the survivor barstool like i wrote a fan fiction story right that was and dave like had seen that and he was like oh i saw that like it's comforting to know you're a college kid writing that and not a 40-year-old. Actually, I don't know what's... They're both equally kind of weird.

Yeah, but at least it was easier to hire a college kid for an intern. Oh, I see what you mean. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, okay. He was impressed by that, wanted to hire that person, and if he found out that guy was 45 years old, he was going to be like, oh, fuck. Probably, yeah. Yeah, yeah, okay, I see that.

Yeah, I mean, the March Madness run mirror it was a miracle it was magic it was it was march madness within march madness it was like your run was better than the basketball i was like me and sister jean yeah but because again like the fucking the the uh loki like uh time what do they call those? Timelines? Variants? Variants, yeah. There was a world where you didn't go on that run,

and that version of Tommy, I think, is not even in the same stratosphere as this version of Tommy. Yeah, I don't know what I would be doing. People always ask me, what would you be doing if not Barcelona? I don't know. Well, you were doing WFUV. I probably would have tried to... I knew I kind of wanted to do

on-air, so if I had to go to fucking Nebraska and call minor league baseball, I think I might have done that. I feel like if you go to Nebraska, you get a better gig. I feel like it's more like you stay local and do the shit minor leagues. Right, yeah, I don't know.

I'm saying if you were offered, I don't even know if they do this, but an actual full-time gig doing the Staten Island Yankees. Right, back then. Yeah, or you could go to Nebraska and be like you know, I don't know, an important...

I thought I would have done the Yankees. You would stay local you know, I don't know, like some important radio. Yeah, or maybe not even that. I thought I would have done the Yankees. I mean, it's the Yankees. Yeah, yeah, you would say local and do garbage rather than go. Yeah, I never, like, had to put too much thought into it because I had Barstool. And then even before the March Madness run, I started to do more. Like, I would come on Barstool radio with you guys.

Oh, really? That already began? So that actually happened because there was, like, Fordham and was playing in jamaica fordham basketball yes and big cat and dave bet on the over or something in the game and the the rims were dying and it was the under and frankie and hubs were like you know like alarmingly stupid is in jamaica calling the football games or something and dave was like what i like he listened to like a clip of me doing play-by-play he was like oh that's actually like good pretty good and i remember had a meeting with gaz a week later and he was like look right now it's about to be graduated like i don't think there's a spot to give you a full-time job right he was like is there anything

else you want to do and i was like yeah i'd like to help out like radio like thinking like i'd help radio brand make a prep sheet or something yeah and so he was like all right and then he like came back like 10 minutes there was like yeah i talked to dave said you could just be on the show i was like oh all right that's not really what i have in mind but i'll take it for sure it's very funny and it was me you fran and dave when was that a fucking show what did we talk about this is like uh december 20 well this is one episode this was a show. You three were pretty. Fran? I think it might have been December 5th, 2017.

December 6th. Something like that. Yeah. You three did it. I mean, I used to rotate so much. But I think you three had a streak of doing it relatively consistently. Fran. Fran.

Not Liz. Fran. Fran. Wow. I blacked that out. I don't remember that either. Yeah. I don't know if it was a fill-in for a limited amount of time.

But it was. I feel like maybe the Eagles. was that the same year the eagles won the super bowl yeah it was so like maybe like every time you know the eagles like undefeated or whatever they were throughout this for that throughout that season and i don't maybe she came on for that i think liz got hired until that january okay february so so i mean that that's funny because it is i don't know that that is a good like as much as you were like I didn't have a plan, it's like you went to Fordham where they do radio. Whether or not you went there because of that, who cares? You ended up doing radio.

You were doing the play-by-play. And then, you know, like it is actually whether or not you planned it, you kind of earned it. I almost went to Georgetown. Like I was deciding between Fordham and Georgetown up until like midnight of earned it. I almost went to Georgetown. Like, I was deciding between Fordham and Georgetown up until, like, midnight of the deadline. Yeah, I was going to say, with that 1430, what are you fucking doing at Fordham?

Yeah, but I was just like, Georgetown, like, I was like, what am I fucking doing in D.C.? I was like, I don't really want to be, like, I visited a couple times and it was very, like... So let me go to the trash bag hood. But at least it felt like... I'll tell you this, D.C. is not the city of power. Like, Fordham's like... I'll tell you this. DC's not even a city of power. Fordham's like everyone

from New York, New Jersey, Connecticut. Totally. And Georgetown was like everybody there was like a son of a senator, like powerful. And I was like, I don't fucking fit in

with these people. So I was like, I'm just a skinny Jewish kid from Long Island. Let me stay on the island with my fellow people. So did you pick Fordham? You realize that everyone

being a son of a senator Is an appealing thing For most people But not if you're not Well no why Then you get yourself In those circles Yeah

I'm not a power guy I don't care about power I want to be liked And I don't care about power I concur with you on that I don't really care about power I just want Everybody to like me

I'm actually surprised You care about being liked Well no I don't know You want to be I just want everybody to like me. I'm actually surprised you care about being liked. Well, no. I don't know. You want to be popular is what you want to be. Yeah. You don't care how you get it. So I remember in a college class, it was like rank.

You'll step on someone's fucking face to get to the party. But it was like rank, fame, power, and money. Okay. It was like how important are they are to you. I know power was like. I think I might have went fame, power, money. Because I was like fame you can leverage into money. I would guess at that time I would have said, in college, I would have said fame, money, power.

That's what I said. And now I would flip fame and money. Money is number one. Money is number one. I had a different opinion. 34-year-old me, money is number one. I think it's easier, though, to convert fame into money than it is money into fame. Agreed, but I don't want to convert it, so'm good okay yeah i would i would go money power fame and by power it would

be like i can just make my own decisions in my own life but that's what i think i almost think that that comes with fame it's like it's like yes and no it's like i just want to be i guess you can't like when people think of power i think you think of like i can make you do this and you do that i think the power yeah i think of power as like independence like i can do this show and nobody can fuck with me right that's what i think of power i don't want to boss you around and shit and i don't want to be known by people i just want to be rich and be left alone to do my own thing that's all i want i never want to tell anyone what to do yeah i don't i don't i don't like that i don't don't like – I've had like countless requests from family friends or like people my dad works with where it's like, hey, could this kid's son be your – this guy's son, could he be your intern? And I'm always like, no.

No. I don't want an intern because I'll just go get my own lunch because I'm not going to ask him. So then you're just a fucking person hanging around. Right. And then it's not good. Yeah. How about this for awkward situations? Because you don't want – you don't like it because you feel awkward doing it, like bossing people around.

Yeah, I agree. So I believe, in my mind, the worst, most awkward thing. How are we doing on time? We're good. The most awkward thing, I think, in the world is when movers are moving your stuff. Never had movers. Oh, it is an experience that is just like. I've also never had movers. moving your stuff. Never had movers. Ugh. It is an experience that is just like... I've also never had movers.

Really? Never. You also, you just have like a stick and bindle, and you just go to your place with like, you know, a pillowcase full of fucking candy, and that's it. My first apartment here six years ago, my dad helped me move in, and then when I left that apartment and moved to

where i live in now i like yeah like exactly i carried two bags in yeah but if you've got a bunch of shit moving is just it's like i'm paying these guys i know i'm gonna tip them well this is the gig but when i'm like yeah you know it's a two-story walk up and we're going to like another two or three-story walk up it's like i like I'm giving you like the worst fate in the world. You know what I mean? You forget that you're paying them to do it. Yes, yes. But then I get to the point where like –

But it also doesn't matter. I'm like – Even though I know I'm paying them, it doesn't matter. Unless I was paying them, like in my mind, because I just know how much I hate moving, the cost should be like $250,000. I'm definitely going to use movers next time. The number one thing in the world, once you have a little bit of money, is movers.

If you have the money, not getting a mover is just like you're being ridiculous. That and wash and fold, two things that are worth the money. I haven't had a mover. I like doing my own laundry. Because you're a fucking idiot. You know what my dad does, which is insane? My dad, when they have landscapers and stuff at the house, my dad helps helps so that's what i do with the moving i like grab a box here and there i also but i also try to get out of their way because sometimes i think they're like get this fucking

scrawny guy out of the fucking way we're trying to move the couch the the my favorite thing so like he had like gardeners and all that kind of shit and like they're they were lining like the fucking driveway with plants or whatever and they they're digging holes. And they're digging a lot of holes. A lot of little holes for plants. And my dad's like, he goes, Jacques, what's his name? Jacques Goumer. And Jacques is like, he's like, Jacques, what the hell, man? He's like, look, I'm in good shape.

I exercise. He's like, you're digging 30 holes between every one I dig. Yeah. And Jacques just holds up the shovel and goes, John, churdy-us. Churdy-us. I dig churdy-us.

That's true. All right, yeah, good point. Yeah. Yeah, because those guys, they know how to shovel. It's not just like do it. It's like if you lean this way or that way, painting.

You ever watch them paint a wall? They're like, oh, yeah. Whereas I'm like, I get paint in my eyeballs and it's like half done. I got two shoe racks and I don't think I'm able to build them myself.

I think I got to get a tasker out of it. Yeah. I really don't. I have like three paintings in my apartment that I haven't hung. I've had them for three years. I've been painting for three years and I haven't hung. Dude, they're sitting on the floor. I'm like, I don't know how to hang this, dude.

Would you say you're like the least handy guy in the world? Oh, yeah. Yeah, you're real bad at that. Dude, I'll give you a run for your money. He's going to say, oh, sir. I've got to build a fucking skeleton tomorrow,, I'll give you a run for your money. He's going to say, I've got to build a fucking skeleton tomorrow, but I'll give you a run for your money.

No, I think I'm just going to get a bunch of more shit and then just have a task rabbit knock it all out. Oh, so this is my new stuff. Can you assemble that and then also do this, by the way?

I think they get paid by the hour. Yeah, that's the other thing. I mean, these guys, it's like they want to do this. This is why they're here. But I feel so mortified. They'd also love a 10 a 10 minute job and they get to charge you for an hour for sure what i've always thought would be a funny prank i might want to do one day is you hire a

task rabbit to to get a painting to hang a painting and then the painting is just a picture of their profile picture and they come and they have to and they're like that's what how they react that would be funny fucking weird as shit i'd be like uh there's a serial killer here that's that is it's funny though i mean the like i i feel like it's because it's also like there's a manly thing to it it's like i can't pick these things up and you can uh so and then they're just sweating and they're not i mean this guy bailey who moved us this kid from Philly, he's just a fucking horse. He works for Blue Line Moving Company. They're the guys who moved me.

They're awesome. Everybody should go use them. They do like celebrities. They handle everybody's top notch belongings and it always goes smooth. But I know it's your job, but I'm asking you to do the worst thing in the fucking world. And I just feel so incredibly awkward. It's my, what do you think is your number one most awkward, like social interaction

you have to deal with? It's a tough one. This is like, I mean, this is like out of all your Tommy's two cents, Tommy or Tommy thoughts, like the most awkward thing. Those are my two cents was one of the funniest. Tommy's two cents. Yeah, I mean, that's my two cents. Some would say I –

Clankity, clank, clank, clank, clank, clank, clank, clank. My favorite thing Quigs did was we made like a graphic of fake Tommy two cents. Which was like a shower curtain of like Tommy two cents, like handbags. That is great. I mean, I think – Tommy's thoughts are still going, right handbags. That is great. I mean, I think that- Tommy's thoughts are still going, right? Not real. Come on!

I love it! I do them on TikTok or- Well, that was like the whole joke that everyone jokes is like, Tommy's Thursday thoughts got- We got our production budget cut. At the company meeting in- Well, I had stopped doing them in like March because like, you know what? I was like, I'm fucking running out of thoughts. And I wanted to focus more on like the Smoke Show series. So I was like, I'm, well, I'm fucking running out of thoughts and I want to focus more on like the

smoke show series. So I was like, I'm going to not do these for a while. Right. Then like a month later, uh, I like the big production company meeting. It was like cut shows.

Tommy's Thursday thoughts. It's like, first of all, I stopped doing this. Second of all, I'm recording myself. What do you mean? I'm cut. Like, so I actually think I i'm gonna do a video soon where i bring back

tommy like like sneaking around the office like is tommy fucking thinking don't you let that man have a thought is he thinking on company time right now that is a very funny idea like we're we cut our employee from thinking. Do you remember? And recording it. Actually, I kind of had a similar thing. This is probably 11 years ago. It was very early in my blogging days, and I had this blog series I was trying to start

where it was called, I think it was called I Think Therefore I Blog. And it was just like bullet points, thoughts. It was basically like tweets because Twitter wasn't that big at I Blog. And it was just like bullet points, thoughts. Creed thoughts. It was basically like tweets because Twitter wasn't that big at the time. It was basically just tweets. Ahead of your time, brother. And I saved that blog.

And Dave emailed me right away and said, if this was the first blog I ever saw of yours, you'd be fired. Damn. A simple no would have been fine. It was like back when Dave was approving blogs It was just all the subject line If this was the first blog you guys saw You'd be fired

Which is so funny though It was such a simple thing It's so Seinfeldian and Larry David-esque I don't get why Dave He encouraged me to do the Thursday Thought That's where I started a year-end meeting He was like start putting do the Thursday thought. That's where I started like a year-end meeting. And then it got crushed. He was like,

start putting some of those thoughts on a blog or something. And then another year-end meeting, he's like, you're not doing those anymore? I was like, no, I still am. And then they got crushed. Not that I don't think he had a single say in that. So what is your, what would you say you do here?

You do fucking everything. You do advisors? Yeah, advisors every week. Do neighborhood eats? Do neighborhood eats. Are you on PB and Slay? I don't know. Maybe.

We're like testing it out. I go on. I do the bracket every week. I do the smoke show video series, random TikToks. I was blogging the Dave Portnoy show. Sometimes random blogs. No one bites the dust. You got to think of one.

I mean, I just feel like I'm always... Why don't you think of the Dave Portnoy show? I always get... I can't go back at Dave. I don't have that. You're too much of a pussy. Yeah. Oh, no.

I meant like you just... I think Dave's done with it. I meant like you just... Nobody cares what I have to say. That'd be funny if it was like the Dave Portnoy show featuring Tommy Smokes. And it's just you. Like being a Los Angeles Angel of the Night. Yeah. Yeah. The Dave Bordone show featuring Tommy Smokes. And it's just you. Los Angeles Angels.

Yeah, the Dave Bordone show starring Tom Scabelli. I don't think anyone – like people care what Dave has to say about inner workings of Arsenal. Like nobody cares. I agree with that. People just want dirt. By the way, what did you think of yesterday's prize for the – Oh. Buddy. What are you talking about?

We got an update on top of... Tell me we got an email. So yesterday... No, we haven't got an email about that. So yesterday, the prize for if you wore a costume to the happy hour, you got entered into a raffle. Not even like best costume.

Oh, it was good to wear a costume? Yeah, if you wore a costume, you got entered into a raffle to win a gift card to the Barstool store. Yeah. I don't want to be mean here. Well, there's another thing where if we

start working out, we could get money and if we send a photo of that, we got a physical, we could win money. And if we send a photo of that, we got a physical, we could win money. Because my dad does insurance, I knew companies do this. You know what I've said? If their employees work out, if their employees get physicals, it lessens your employee insurance.

You know what every company needs? Every sports team, Barstool, a common sense department. I've always said just like that whole happy hour. I don't want to be mean. I'm sure there are people that are dressed up that I like. But when I saw that email, first of all, I saw the email. I said that to every group.

I was like, what's happening to this company? I was like, we should have actually used that as an experiment. And whoever showed up to the happy hour dressed up last night, you're fired. You don't understand this company I say it all the time about sports I say I want to I'll do PR for the Mets pro bono

you can still have your team and then when you say to me we're going to have the guy play the trumpets at a game I'm going to say no no don't do that fans are going to hate that and then you can do what you want I don't have final say doing it for free I'm going to tell you me And then you can do what you want. I don't have final say. I'm doing it for free. I'm going to tell you, me and my colleagues, we will eradicate this.

Or, like, this is a cool idea, go ahead. But have somebody with some common sense give it a thumbs up or thumbs down before it goes out. That's what I think every company could use. And it's sad that we could now. There was a time where we didn't even need to think about that, but now we need that. You're going to give out a gift card to the Barstool store? No. No, heavens no. I don't think that's the move.

No. That place would probably get free stuff from anyway. Why don't you give them 50 bucks instead? Let them spend that money wherever they see fit instead of right back in our coffers. Also, especially when you consider the whole gift card thing from a few years ago. I know. Maybe if they're trying to make a joke, I will give them a little credit. I don't know.

I'm not giving them the benefit of the doubt. I'm not giving them the benefit of the doubt. I'm not giving them the benefit of the doubt. I'm not giving them the benefit of the doubt. Me neither. I think it is. I think someone from content needs to be placed on the party planning committee. Yeah. Because I think there's no one from content there.

There needs to be a liaison that floats between the two, and there's not. We're doing these lunch and learns now? Yeah. Say what now? Oh, you don't know these? I don't know these. You don't know these? Oh, you don't know these? I don't know these. You don't know these? No, I do not. If you want to learn about a department and have some lunch, we have

Lunch and Learns once a week. Once a month. About a specific department that month? We had one. One was like Tuesday. I've been going for the free food. I don't stick around for the meeting. See, they do know what they're doing, though, in some ways. Yeah, I mean, you don't hear at the meeting.

Yeah, this Lunch and Learn was the brand strategy task force. Okay. And so you go, you eat free food, and then they say, like... You can just get the food and come back downstairs. That's what I do. And that's not to say I should probably learn about these things. And I complain. I don't know anyone here.

There's ways to learn, John. But there's also ways to eat lunch alone. And I always opt for that one. One of the other – boy, we just got – it was a tough month or whatever for you because also the short porch was on that list as well. Yeah. The short porch is still going. Yeah, but we still do it.

We just don just like a producer we have that shout out intern jack helped us throughout the uh playoff yeah so it's just like you can do it yourself sort of thing yeah i wasn't like such assholes they really are yeah it was not really cut like uh i don't know if it didn't really affect me yeah do you think that maybe like you should just stop doing that though in general just because it's like who fucking cares about the yankees anymore yankees i mean it's not like i mean i love the yankees but it is like it is like it's not my favorite thing to do at barstool is like talk about the yankees yeah i remember when i did section 10 and i was like it was like twice a week and i was like guys i don't know if i can

keep talking about the goddamn fucking red socks like yankees suck red socks good what else we talking about right because like you have to like Whatever You have to critique the team Like it takes you out of the fan mindset Where it's like It's not just like I just like watching Yankees Yeah You know it's like

I don't want to always Have to be battling With people on Twitter That I'm done with I think I'm done with that The whole city of Cleveland I have muted You also can't

Like win anything You know what I mean It's like I'm not going to convince you That Francisco Lindor is good And you think it's bad Like we're never going to agree? I'm not going to convince you that Francisco Lindor is good and you think it's bad. We're never going to agree. So I'm done. Once Tuca retired, I think I was done

with the quote tweets to dunk on somebody. If you have a stupid opinion... But there are times where people are so stupid. They are so stupid, but also sometimes I think this is the gig. Sometimes I do the quote tweet and I'm like, this is more of a reply. I could just reply to this guy but

oh I want people to see me yeah but that's also that's what we're here to do is like to have these conversations and stuff be in the mud yeah yeah yeah

so I'm like I don't do it serious anymore I'll do it playfully but there are times where I was like I hate this fucking person fuck you I'll do it as like a joke

and have some fun with it but I am done quote tweeting people I genuinely disagree with and like genuinely I am mad at. Right. Yeah, and it gives you just such hate through your heart. I'll see a response and you go to their

profile and it's like, I'm imagining you dying. I want you to die. I literally want to watch the life get sucked out of your eyes. How do you what? Okay, I thought you said ass. I was like, Jesus. Whatever. I'll suck the life right out of your asshole.

I don't care where it comes out of. It's fine with me. There's just crunch away in there. They love that. The audience loves that more than anything. If I can tell you any recommendations for podcasting. Chew into the microphone. Chew into the microphone. They love it.

Remember when you were doing ASMR for a while? Oh, yeah. Didn't you do it with Isabella? Yeah, me, Marty, and Isabella Dela Danger did it together. Did you come? Have you ever watched? ASMR is not a sexual thing. Okay. To me.

For many people, it's not. For many people, it is. My follow-up question. Did you watch the Abela ASMR that she did with just a butt plug? I did not. That sounds interesting. I watched that one. Was it just like...

Yeah. Really? I mean, ASMR, it's oddly satisfying. I mean, like... Yeah. Really? It's more just like... It's oddly satisfying. I mean, it turns into a porn. It's like a browser's video. Why don't you do it? It starts with a bell and it's doing...

My only fan's days are over. Let's talk about that. Your only fan's foray. Did you really make out with Tico? Yeah. Yeah. That's why the Astros won. Did you not see?

That's why the Astros won. You think that was trick photography? I saw the picture. I did not subscribe. Can I see the kiss itself? Yeah. You got to subscribe, bro. No, it's on YouTube.

I only made it to make a video. I never was actually going to. Did you get any subscribers? I know you had two. I ended up making, I gave her a cut. I made sure I made less than $600 because that's when they send you a tax form. So I think I ended up at like $570 and I shut it down. I sent Tico like $150.

Dude, $570 is not bad. Bro, when you were talking about – Bro, you had a hell of a year, right? You won $10K like five times. Oh, yeah. You're like Pete Alonzo. All of his salary is just like – Bonus.

Right. In Home Run Derby and shit. Here. It's a long buildup, but I'll show show you the Here, I'll put it on here. Are you air dropping it? No. Oh. Dude, this is so awkward. Oh my god. Oh my god.

She is totally running the show, you know? Is there a tongue? No tongue. Oh, are you sure? Tico wants tongue I am Wildly uncomfortable

And a little bit aroused I was going to say a little bit aroused myself I'm committed to my art I don't know if it was Tico doing the titty thing afterwards I'll tell you what I have had worse if it was Tico doing the titty thing afterwards but like that was I'll tell you what I have had worse kisses that was oddly sexual for something so

incredibly awkward yeah I might have it was like quiet in my head a new fetish unlocked the whole office the whole office

was watching I bet Erica walked in like right before oh my god that is so wild what if you guys just fuck nah

I don't shit where I eat what I know you said there was no plan B but literally what do you think you'd be doing like do you think you would have gone to like WFAN and been like one of those guys I mean I always like there was a time where I wanted to write like TV I thought would be cool,

which is something I still think is possible. Yeah, yeah. That's not a job that you can just do though. That's like, you gotta have another job first I feel like.

Right, right, right. Yeah, I'd probably be, I don't know, maybe a producer at fucking ESPN New York or maybe I would have been able to get like an overnight on air shift.

But like all of these are like still pretty fucking good jobs, but like. I mean, Fordham's a great program. They really do turn out people. What did you do? What was your role at Fordham?

You covered the Yankees. Did you do one-on-one? I did a lot of beat reporting. What did you do? I did Yankee beat reporting, Giants, Knicks, Rangers. I did one-on-one. I did baseball play-by-play, a little football play-by-play, and color for basketball.

I just like podcasting stuff. But I always liked the creative. You did podcast at Fordham? Yeah. I just can't even process like podcasts existing in college. I mean, yeah, it was only like six years ago. Like one-on-one. I'm just like picturing my own college experience.

Yeah, it was like we turned – there was like On Deck was like the MLB podcast. NFL Friday was the NFL podcast. And I always liked that stuff more. I thought Play-by-Play was so boring because it was like a beat report. A beat report I like because I have to go to like every Yankee game. But like it was just like there's no room for creativity. I remember I – No, there's room for creativity.

Just pretend to believe DMs that are made up and stuff like that. No, we're talking about play-by-play instead of – Oh, at least in the beat. You said beat too, right? You said there's no creativity there. Yeah, there's less there, but at least there could be more. Yeah, Ben, shut up.

The play-by-play shit is like... Also, you're never going to... Once a guy gets that position, he's there for like 30 years. Forever. So if you want to be one of the New York City guys, it's like... Especially once a guy like Ryan...

You got to put out a hit. Ryan Rucco. Rucco. I can never say it. Rucco. I mean, he was like 25 when he got the gig. He's not going to stop doing it until he's 75. There's a 50-year window where nobody else can do it.

You know what I mean? It's like, you're done. I also remember this summer, I worked this summer doing the minor league teams. Life of the Miners. Life of the Miners. And I was assigned to the Mets. All of the guys assigned to the Yankees.

This is, by the way, it's like – can I get another water? Do you have another water over there? Yeah, a bunch of kids do the Staten Island Yankees. A bunch of kids do the Brooklyn Cyclones, which is the Mets single A. And then every week you put together like a four-minute radio podcast type thing. So every week there was like a theme. You learned how to do interviews and how to cut up the footage and then write a script, all that kind of shit.

Everybody from the Yankees just quit. They just didn't do it. I actually think Gunz was one of them. Really? Yeah, he was one of them. He just didn't do it. I actually think Guns was one of them. Really? Yeah. He was one of them. He just didn't do it. It was like a team of, like, four or five.

Everybody quit. Everybody fucking quit the Mets as well. I was literally the only kid doing it that year. Maybe one or two others would, like, pop in every now and then. So I went to – I would try to go to both games. Like, I was driving from fucking Brooklyn to Staten Island because I was, you know. A young go-getter? Yeah, yeah. I wasn't – fucking Brooklyn to Staten Island. Because I was, you know. A young go-getter? Yeah, yeah.

I wasn't, I mean. And I was doing the Yankees. I don't drive highways. So I would take the Long Island Railroad from my house to Penn Station. Then I'd take the subway, the one train down to South Ferry. Then I'd take the ferry to Staten Island. It was brutal. Why don't you drive on highways?

Why don't you do that for a video? Why don't you do that for a video? Yeah, it's time to learn to drive the highway. That is crazy. It was brutal. Why don't you drive on highways? It's just at this point. Why don't you do that for a video? Why don't you do that for a video? Yeah, it's time to learn to drive on the highway. That's a good idea. Life is a highway. Yeah, I'll get to it eventually. I just haven't gotten around to it.

But you live in the city now, so obviously you don't do that much anymore. I went to college in a city. I live in a city. At home, I don't really have to go on the highways. It's whatever. Are you going to have kids, like a family and shit city. At home, I don't really have to go on the highways. It's whatever. Are you going to have kids, like a family and shit one day? Yeah, I guess. Imagine your dad

can't fucking drive. If I had to tell my kids I can't go on the highway right now, I would kill myself. I'll have to figure that out by then. But I'm at least 10 years, 15 years away from anywhere. Dude, I had a girlfriend like that where her mom wouldn't drive on the highway. So her dad would have to drive them everywhere.

But that – I know moms who do that kind of shit. Dads can't do that. My grandmother also didn't have her license. So, like, my grandfather would drive her everywhere. But I'm like, that's a relationship of yesteryear. I don't play that shit. It would be times where my grandmother was going to New York to have a weekend with her friends, and my grandfather would fucking drive her and then drive home

and then drive and pick her up and then drive home. And it's like, what are you talking about, man? You're from an era. You're from a different time, and you're letting your show get run right now? No, but that is from also an era i could see that also the era is like my you know women are completely useless so let's drive my lady yeah oh no sweetheart and it also obviously wasn't he didn't love it it wasn't his idea that she couldn't get a license it was like it's like

why don't you get a goddamn license she's like well i'm 60 now yeah i know you have 20 years left i mean tommy you're gonna be saying that forever i mean i have a license, why don't you get a goddamn license? She's like, well, I'm 60 now. Yeah, I know. You have 20 years left. I mean, Tommy, you're going to be saying that forever. I mean, I have a license. I just don't drive a lot. Yeah. No, that's, yeah. Whatever. If I end up having to do it one day, I'll fucking figure it out.

It can't be that hard. It's really not. It's easier than driving right now. I don't like driving in general. I get distracted. I'm not a driver myself. I don't really care to drive. I don't mind doing it alone. I don't like driving in general. I get distracted. I'm not a driver myself. I don't really care to drive. I don't mind doing it alone.

I don't like driving a group of people. You guys all fucking complain. If there's a group of people, I make sure I'm not driving. It was the first day I got my license. You get to a destination and just crack a beer right away. I'm like, oh, I can't do it. It was like senior year, and I was one of the first two-ish of my friends to get a license. And so I drove home from school. It was like a Friday. I was one of the first two-ish of my friends to get a license. And so I drove home from school.

It was like a Friday. I was like, I got the car today. Like, we're going to go to whatever, fucking Wendy's, like after school. And like we pulled out like a block and a half and I almost got hit by a car because I didn't look both ways at a stop sign. Or something like that. Or, you know, we had a stop sign. They didn't. And I looked one way.

Then I forgot to look back the other way, and we almost got crushed. That really put a damper on how much I like driving. Everybody was like, you fucking suck at driving. I don't want to do this anymore. I once was in the car with a kid. We were driving on the highway, and all of a sudden, he just kind of slowly veers off.

I was like, dude, careful, careful. Careful, careful. Dude, dude, dude, like slowly veers off and i was like yo dude careful careful careful and he like woke up and was like like swerved back in we're all good and he was like we were all like mike are you fucking kidding me dude like you were asleep and he was like i'll be honest the way that that felt like that could have been like two minutes i think i was asleep for like a long time. So, there was one time I was in high school. Another friend was driving on like a – it wasn't a highway. It was like a turnpike.

You know, maybe go 40 miles per hour. There were red lights. Okay. There was a clear red light. It hadn't like turned recently red. And he just mosey on, like not even thinking, just went through the red light. And like all of us had to say, like, Jason, like that just went through the red light. And, like, all of us had a thing. We're like, Jason, like, that light was red. Was it other cars or no? I mean, we didn't get hit or anything, like, thankfully.

Like, that could have easily been a story of, like, six teenagers, like, dead. I don't know if you've ever been, like, drunk or anything. It would have just been, like, just kid forgets what a red light means. Like, forgot he had it. Like, just went through it without a care in the world. I've always said 16 for license is nuts. It's very, you know. Here you go.

At that age, it felt like you waited forever. But, like, looking back now, you're like, I shouldn't have been driving. Here's a 3,000-pound fucking, you know, death trap for you that can only go 100 miles an hour. My roommate in college had a rule that if he felt he deserved the light, he'd run the red. Like, if someone was slow and they were the last one to go through, he was like... I should have gotten that.

I agree with what he's saying, I just don't think you can take it. It's a dangerous principle to apply. A very anxiety-inducing process every time I drove with him. Because guess what? He felt like he deserved a lot of fucking points

that I disagreed with him on. I was like, you didn't deserve that one. You didn't deserve that one. There was no vote. It was just a dictatorship whether he deserved it or not. One of the questions that we do on ATI is what's something somebody can do that makes you instantly hate them. If you are, if you're turning left and you don't go halfway through the intersection to let other people get into the intersection too.

Oh, yeah, that's a good one. So you just take, because, you know, certain lights, like, you only basically get one turn per fucking, because of oncoming traffic. Right, right. If you don't give me the room, and then I'm honking, and people are like, it's a red light, or people are coming, I'm like, I know,

I don't want you to go all the way, I want you to go half the way. I'm screaming at that. I hate those people. Afterwards, I chase them down, and I try to run them down. I do like good road rage, but selectively.

I'm not going to honk at someone that could take me. If a little old lady rolls through a stop sign, it's, fuck you, bitch. You old skank get off the road. Mine is just me in the fucking car. I don't ever honk, but I'll punch the shit out of the ceiling. I'll punch the shit.

There are times where I've been punching the steering wheel so hard where I'm like, I got to chill out. The airbags are going to come out. Which is so funny because you're so like whatever. It's got to come out at some point. I prefer it happen in the confines of my car. Which is so funny because you're so, like, whatever, you know? It's got to come out at some point, Kevin. Yeah. I prefer it to happen in the confines of my car. He's, like, incredibly calm, mild manner, and then, like, in a car, like, this piece of shit. I hope he wraps himself around a pole.

I've said that before. Growing up, I was scared. You never see your dad. I didn't see my dad angry. So it's like, geez. My dad had inanimate object rage. He would never get mad at us or people, but we would piss him off, you know, and he would just build it up. And then, like, one time I watched him basically, like, massacre a dishwasher. He's also the king, and he passed this down to me, like, when the other day I was vacuuminging and the plug was pretty...

What? Vacuuming. I know what it is. Do you? I'm surprised to hear you were doing it. I was vacuuming. Is that that crazy that I was vacuuming? I don't think so.

No, I don't. Why is that crazy? Why is you vacuuming crazy? Yeah, is that crazy? Two children. Yeah, you don't think I got a vacuum? Is anyone else here surprised by the fact that Kevin was vacuuming? I vacuum all the time.

No. You're not surprised by this? No. Oh, fuck off. I got it. There's fucking... I don't know. I'm not saying you live in squalor, but I figured it was a cleaning person.

They came and vacuumed. Yeah, yeah, you're right. But there are times where it's just like, you know, they fucking knock over a whole thing of Cheerios and we're like, ah. Yeah. Anyway, the point was... I'll dust bust now and then oh back here a little dust dust bust Yeah, how about a Roomba you have a Roomba now? I might spot a Roomba for Frank the Tank This is this is the beginning of our fucking rivalry, by the way Bought that man a Roomba. Do you know much rooms cost?

100 I don't know how much the room across 400 $700 and this is back when Frank the Tank was a was a big charity case and he people like he like someone needs to help him like he can't clean up his apartment or whatever and so I was like oh I'll help you out Frank I'll get you I'll get you and I did well I I committed to it and then I saw the prices and I was like fuck because I thought it was

going to be like 150 bucks 200 bucks what is it a 12 foot skeleton so I did that it was like 700 bucks and I had it sent

right to him and I never heard a word back about it did he say thank you or anything I didn't even get a thank you do you think he ever used it? That absolutely doesn't surprise me, but it still shocks me.

I would hope he used it. I hope he put it to use. But yeah, not even a thank you. I'm surprised you wore that for this long. Frankie didn't say thanks for a t-shirt. I did a podcast rant about it. Where were we? Anyway, so Tommy Smokes, when you were going through the tommy smokes

transition if you will i think you're pretty much you've transitioned at this point yeah i don't want to call it transgender i want to call it like trans personality yeah yeah but i don't think i have like trans persona i was always myself persona yeah yeah like you're like uh how people viewed you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, there had to have been a moment where you all of a sudden were like, holy shit, I'm Tommy Smokes. Pinpoint. So, I mean, that literally was, like, such an insane. It was my last two months of my senior year of college, too.

Oh, wow. So, it was, like, the greatest two months of my life. Like, hang with your friends every night, like, going out to bars, like, senior events. And then, like, oh, I'm also, like, going to Vegas and, like, San Antonio or whatever. But, yeah, there was, like, so I believe it was Thursday, March 15th was the first day I did games with Dave in the office. Right. We won a bunch, and then we did it again the Friday. We won a bunch more.

And then the Saturday was St. Patrick's Day. And, like, we had, like, I went to my friend's house for a day party. And then I remember walking. Was Brose Hill around when you were there? For us, it was girls were living there. You mean the Rose Hill Apartments? Yeah, it was called Brose Hill. Yeah, for us, it was called the Brothel.

And I walked by and everyone was just like, A little less clever. People were like, Where the whores live. That's where the prostitutes are. I think actually it was banned probably until like you guys came along

I don't think guys were allowed to live there for a few years because there was a year of guys that just like destroyed the fucking place really just bring the sluts in

they'll just have sex on it they won't break anything so you're at bro's hill yeah and they were just like everybody started yelling oh Tommy smokes and I was like everybody started yelling like oh tommy smokes and i was like this is weird like i know you guys have always talked about it was

like a transition slowly like it wasn't overnight for me it was literally overnight like one night i'm just sitting in the corner of muggsy's with my friends and like a week later people like tommy let's get a picture and i was like this is weird but i liked it that is like i mean it's like you know mini celebrity but like were you um did you just say like fuck it let's go or were you thinking about like wait how do i i mean i was always cautious of like uh like i don't want to embarrass myself or something so i was i mean i don't know i think i handled it as well as you definitely when it was just instantly thrown at you like i could see vast majority of people senior year of college get uh get gifted a little bit of like celebrity and you're turning into a absolute douchebag fucking instantly yeah no i definitely didn't

do that because i was always cautious yeah it was a slow transition but i was even afraid to that whole run i was even even like, my Twitter display name was still like Tom Scabelli because I was like, I always hated when we hired an intern and in a day, like Mikey Flash

had all over his social. Even in the midst of this, I was like, damn, people are going to say I changed if I change it to Tommy Smoke. So I always had that in the back of my mind.

What are you now? What's your... My username is Tommy Smokes. The handle is still at Tom Scabelli just because mainly that in like the back of my mind. What are you now? My like username is Tommy Smokes. The handle is still at TomSkaValley just because mainly like I don't feel, well first of all Tommy Smokes wasn't available. I think I have it now but I don't know. Like all your mentions in the past wouldn't

work then. So it's like whatever. I know I had to change mine. They made me change mine. You were like the guinea pig for that. You went viral with something as Jay Fidelberg It went viral with fucking Jared Lorenzen Dude that still is crazy

That was just a fucking Me and my buddy were in my apartment And I think I saw Jared Lorenzen is going to play arena football And Sean was like Dude we have to watch You live tweeted it right? If it wasn't for his inspiration Or his excitement, I would have been like, that's weird.

He's playing and kept scrolling. Yeah. And then we put the game on. He was playing for the Lizards or some arena football team. And then I was just like vining and live tweeting like this. Do you remember that? And Peter King was quoting it. Yeah.

And it went crazy. That's how our relationship with Lorenzen started. Right. Dude, once again, Feidelberg's responsible for all this money. And because Jara Lorenzen was the exact, was the reason why we got

the attorney. Which then led to the pen deal. Yeah. Huh? Which led to the pen deal. Yeah. You're the domino. The billion dollar man.

Yeah. And you have no money. This is always my favorite part of the podcast. But you got that skeleton. But yeah, but anyway, once I went viral for that, Dave was like, there's just no mention of Barstool anywhere. You got to change your name. And I was like, all right.

So I changed it to Fights Barstool. And I have the lamest fucking Twitter handle in the world. I did sneaky. Before I announced that I changed it, I did get. Change your old one. I still have Jack Feinberg. Although I announced that I changed it, I did get... Change your old one so you can go back to that. Although I don't have

a fucking idea what the password is. I have the account somewhere, but fuck it. You've also, as we've discussed, turned into the worst

Twitter user of all time, right? It's so bad. John's talking about retiring you so bad. Why? Like just sending bad tweets? Just the worst tweets, dude.

For real? I would have said you're one of the better Twitter people here. I mean, maybe I'm riding off your old stats. Yeah, I know. I used to be great.

I used to be great. I'm Brady in it right now. By the way, Brady's still great. If you watch the tape, he's fucking unbelievable. Okay, Steven Chan. But, yeah, I lost it. I can admit it. I lost it.

There are humbling times where, like, I'm sure everyone goes through, where it's like, how does this tweet have this few likes? I think there's, like, actually something in the algorithm. Sometimes it's like, this one got lost in the show. But you know what? Statistically, this is impossible. What happened? Okay, guys.

Your tweet sucks. It kind of ruined it for me. I don't know if you've had the update where you have the eye, like you see how many people saw the tweet. No. I mean, you could do, like, tweet analytics or something. Yeah, but it's just on my Twitter. I'll show you.

Oh, I don't like that. Because here's all the people that didn't interact with your tweet. But it's like that, but it's also like, oh, wait, no, it's gone now. Yeah, no, it's gone. I used to have it. It's gone now. Well, none of those are your tweets. No, these are mine.

That's mine. Oh, my God. It's gone. 39 likes for a great tweet. That's a quote tweet. That used to have it. It's gone now. Well, none of those are your tweets. No, these are mine. That's mine. Oh, my God. It's gone. 39 likes for a retweet. That's a quote tweet about... That's a different thing. That's a different thing. But anyway, what ruined it for me

was that I had this eye emoji that would tell me how many people saw a tweet. And I used to always gauge good tweets by the amount of retweets and the amount of likes and stuff like that. And I saw that, like, maybe I'd have 50 retweets, 400 likes, and, like, 30,000 people would see it. And then I had other tweets that had 50 retweets 400 likes And like 30,000 people Would see it

And then I had other tweets That had zero retweets And 100 likes And it was seen by like 60,000 people And I was like Oh so none of this Fucking matters then

It's like the regular season In baseball Who cares Right It's like alright So the stuff that I gauge it on Doesn't affect it And what's better

Like to have more people see it I would guess More people seeing it Right Right I guess it depends on what it is Cause seeing is also That I scroll by it That that I interact with it, that I read it. It's also humbling to be like, oh, yeah, that's right.

I have 300,000 followers, but no one uses this goddamn app. So 40,000 people see it. Bro, we just put all our eggs in the wrong fucking basket. I do still think it's the best app. It's the best. By far. I mean, it's obviously horrible for your mental health. Other than that, Elon Musk buying it.

I hope it gives some juice back into it. I hope so, too. And I think what he's talking about is pretty cool. But also, all Elon's fanboys fucking suck. So everyone who comes on the app for Elon Musk is not going to be a fan. That sucks. But he was just saying, I think that the world needs like a town square and that's what this is and it really is like yeah lou has always said that too we're like you need a real-time

place to have live events and there's nothing better for live events yes yeah we're not we're not doing like edited videos cool that's tiktok that's fine that's a whole other format shame it this is like yeah you get live real-time reactions you get we can all watch the same thing and converse with each other and you'll also just get like oh my god kim kardashian's having a fucking meltdown yeah we're watching like directly this this girl a thousand miles away is fucking on her twitter and blowing up her career it's news if i want to see about a topic i twitter search i search that it's my search engine at this point. Yeah.

It should be so much more popular. And it makes you miserable. And that, yeah, it drives me crazy when people are like, you're on Twitter. And I'm like, you're too stupid for Twitter. I have a higher intellect than you. I don't know what you're doing. Right. You're double clicking on your puppy pictures.

Fine. Come over here where we're having a discourse regarding, you know. Kanye West. Instagram, I think, is like the worst to spend time on. Like it's important, but I just, I post on it. My own stories for like when I'm,

when there's nothing else, I start to, and I'm like, I won't even look at, I'll just tap, tap, tap, tap,

tap, tap, tap. And then I'll be like, all right, there are probably some new tweets. I'll get out of there. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. It's, it's about killing enough time to get back to new tweets. Yeah. Which is crazy. Even TikTok, you get lost in a rabbit hole on TikTok.

I won't do TikTok. Why? Because you're afraid of... I am. I don't want to. Instagram's like a messaging app to me. I bet it is, Tommy. I won't do TikTok

because I so often opine how I don't like twitter i don't like social media how it doesn't make me feel good yeah and i just i'm i'm staying true to like i am not getting sucked into another one i'm what with tiktok yeah yeah i'm not doing it i'm and like it'll undoubtedly affect my career and undoubtedly affect our career um thanks bro uh but i'm just like it doesn't make me feel good and it doesn't make me happy i'll tell you what fucking not feel good because tiktoks go viral like so if i have a viral i'll be hearing that i will make tiktok i will make tiktok last night i had one that got like uh like a million views almost and i was just the whole night i was just like waiting that's what i mean i don't want to be there. New followers.

Like, I don't even watch, all I watch TikTok is my page. How many followers do you have? I have 191,000 on TikTok. Wow. That's the most I have on any app. Wow. And you put Tommy's thoughts on there and shit?

Yeah, I put a bunch of, I don't know, just random stuff on there. Put, what's your face on there? Thumbnails of her and then get all the views on that. Oh, milk, her, and then get all the pictures on there. Oh, milk her like a cow. It's funny because it was so genuine.

That was not a joke. He said milk her like a cow, stone-faced. No, when we're doing TikTok together, I'm literally, what's the fucking, the guy in Miracle? Kurt Brooks? Yeah. Again! Again!

Again! And I've gotten her to be a decent actor. Not good. I wouldn't dare say good, but she's gotten better. I saw that video where you basically made that video, and I could tell you were being serious. It was completely genuine. The best was, you know, he gave her some line.

It's like, that's because I'm gluten-free, Tommy, whatever the line was. And she said, like, and then it's like action. And she's like, it's because I have that food allergy, you know? And Tommy goes like, it's just not the script. It's just not what I gave you. It's not what I told you to say. Entirely different words. There is no room for improv.

As a director, I do not allow improv. You read the words that I said and you like it. The original Gluten-Free, you dumb bitch, is one of my favorites. I show that video to, like, everybody. When you're chomping on a chip and you're like, you're dumb bitch. It is so, again, genuine and funny. Does Hannah laugh about this?

Sometimes. She doesn't really get what she's doing. Has she ever been like, shut the fuck up? There's been times where she's been like, I don't want to do this one. And I'll be like, Hannah, honey. I know what I'm doing here. We're making magic. People are going to be asking for Hannah

when I'm done with you. She'll admit this. She'll be like, there's been ones that, like... I think the most viewed... Might be my... Or one of my most viewed TikTok ever. It's, like, five million videos.

And she was like, I'm not... Or videos. And she was like, I'm not doing this one. She was like, this one doesn't make any sense. It's not funny.

And I said, how about you just hop on my back and I'll carry us to the finish line and I'll show you the goddamn results at the end of the day. What did she say when that one popped off? No, she was like, you're right. And now, guess what? Guess who doesn't get doubted? This guy.

Like we said, it was a slow progression to him turning 50. I mean, the winning survivor was the you know uh i remember you solidified your your tomminess you're you're like yeah and then all the other ones what yes but survivor was like you talked about survivor you got here because of survivor you called your shot and those bozos somehow let you win it. It was amazing.

What I don't – There's no way you thought you were going to win, did you? Of that moment? What? Did you think you were going to win? Yeah, I thought – well, not going into it. Like, going into – so it actually started – you asked me to make, like, a Survivor in the office for the KFC Radio Live show.

Right. And when they asked me to do it, I was like, I can't do it. Like, they're going to vote me out first. Yeah. Like, they know. But once you were in the final once after honestly after one vote i was like oh this is pretty like these people like i'm gonna be able to do this i think and that was the same thing for most dangerous game or it was the same thing it was like going into it i was like i'm no i'm gonna win this and after one vote it's like oh i got you guys i remember you being so surprised

that i think it was it was me who was being the loud that I think it was me who was being the loudest about it it was you and Casey vote him out and you were like why would you vote me out because you want to win I was more like I didn't want what you were saying to affect the game it's like if these idiots can't figure out for themselves

I didn't care that you guys weren't it was more like I should be able to not have that outside force like if these idiots can't figure out to vote me out I don't need Feidelberg yelling at me that's fair I thought you were just surprised that I'm like

I would vote him out that's fine but keep that to yourself I understand that I was saying it as the fucking host yeah Roan kind come did the same thing too it's like guys that's why it's all the more impressive it's like i don't know how or why but we beat two teams today we beat the rabble boys and the raps yeah yeah um but that yeah that was like the when when you won that and then yeah you really did like i hate you and so i want the worst for you okay um but i know you felt that way any any well you're the leader of the yankees alpha

you're the alpha well at least temporarily right now we're you know we're the last one everyone else getting canceled on that podcast this year that's right that's right you're the last one standing the podcast itself. Two co-hosts and the show got canceled. Tommy's still standing. He's still chugging along. We've got like 10 weeks to a couple months before the end of the year. If by the end of the year you're not canceled, this could just be the year that short-court. I tried to get canceled.

I just did a whole video trying to get canceled. Couldn't even happen. I am so proud of you for actually dropping the F-bomb and bleeping it out. Hey, it's Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve. Enjoy rotting in hell, f***. Okay, Tommy. Because I heard you were... Did you not?

I won't say what I didn't say. Oh, so you said another F-word. I won't say it. I don't want to ruin the movie, Matt. You know who's a great fucking... Like, Pat, you didn't break kayfabe. Pat said it. didn't say. Oh, so you said another F word? I won't say it. I don't want to ruin the movie, Matt. You know who's a great fucking... Like, Pat, he didn't break kayfabe. Pat said it. You said it.

Yeah, he... Well, yeah. Yeah, I mean... Because I said... I was like, you can tell... Like, I think if you had mouthed it or whatever, I was like, it wouldn't have been the same. So, like, he was like,

Tommy's being such a pussy. He didn't want to say it. We talked him into it. Yeah, I won't say it anymore. Just say I just said I said fans instead of fucking fans yeah but I was like that's fine because like I'll just cut it the way you did the fuck like yeah I just gotta find a word that sounds similar it was just so like the way like have fun burning it out you fucking fans it was it is actually howling like who or nick the other day i was talking to he was like you like you didn't care at all like that's just now out on the internet like people seeing you call gay people like this or i was like no i didn't

get any negative feedback it's i mean it's a joke yeah yeah well but like you would think so i mean that doesn't matter yeah it matters i i think i mean if he said the n word and bleeped it, I don't think it would fly. Let's say I said, like, whatever, another word that starts with N and cut it that same way. There would be a lot more negative. I don't know. I think the F one is almost back. I don't want to say back.

But it's like... We've said it openly on this podcast. If I dropped it by accident live on air, I wouldn't be like, my career is over. If I just said Tommy's a ****, I don't know. It's like, whatever. We'll cut that.

I think F-bombs and retarded is kind of a... That was just a medical diagnosis for a while. You just bring your kid to the doctor. I don't know. He's fucking retarded.

I don't know what I can pinpoint it. Did you have a moment where you were like, oh my God, I'm getting pussy? Getting what? Pussy. What do you mean? Like fucking girls. That's the meanest question I've ever heard asked on the show.

Yeah. No, they're – I mean like – There's a clear moment at Barstool where you're like, oh, things have changed. It was a little bit like the last couple months of Fordham where it's like girls were talking to me more at the bar. And like me and my friend group were like, that's like so-and-so. She's talking to you at the bar right now. I can't imagine getting the Barstool bump in your like social life in college. Yeah, but i was i

was like so new to it that but i didn't know what uh i think it was more after like my instagram grew after the like the vape god video i would say that was that turned a corner and then you thought where i was like wow girls are fucking ignoring me still one of my favorite stories oh yeah yeah i do forgot i genuinely did not he just ignored you right now i generally did not see i was what was that? I was going to the movies. This is when I lived over in Murray Hill. I was going to the movies.

I was walking down second half. Maybe I was walking down third at the time before I crossed over to second. And I just walked by Tommy and this chick in, like, a crop top and fucking, like, tight leggings. I was like, damn, Tommy's with a fucking rocket. And I kind of, like, I wasn't going to be like, hey, guys, what's up? But I kind of was just, like, waiting on you, waiting to be like, what's up? But I kind of was just like, wait, you know, and you're waiting to be like, what's up, man? Yeah. And like, they just went right by me.

I didn't see. I would have said hi. Thanks, Tommy. I would have wanted you to see. I would have come down from the ivory tower. I would have made sure you were seeing me. You see what I'm doing? Heading back to my apartment at the moment.

Oh, you're catching the 10 o'clock show alone? Fun. I'm having sex with this girl right here, right next to me. See that? You f***. Probably have to cut that one. Yeah, I mean, you, yeah, because it was, it's just that, I always think about where I was in life.

It was slow and steady, and by that point I was single for a little while. But if you're in college or fresh out of college and things start to cook here, socially it's just got to be crazy. Yeah. Because you can get into places and get bottles and chicks. But it it is also i always think that in the back of my head too i i know like i hate cutting a line i i hate waiting but like i'm never gonna go and be like oh tommy smokes no i don't think of like you set it up ahead of time or whatever like someone knows you but i just feel so you know if you were in line and someone was like is that tommy smokes come on you got the line

would you have the line in a heartbeat that's is that Tommy Smokes? Come on, you got the line. Would you get the line? In a heartbeat. It's happened before. But I would not walk up to the front. Never. But you know what the worst thing to do is when people are like, why are you standing in line, dude? I'm like, I don't know, because I'm a normal fucking person who's not going to walk up to a mountain and be like, you know who I am? Let me in.

Demoralizing thing of all time. It was common ground. I don't know if you guys know. It's like a club in New York City. Me and Glennie went last year. It was Brianna Chicken Fry's birthday. They had a table. They were all set up inside. They're like, you guys come. Me was brianna chicken fries birthday they had a table they were

all set up inside they're like you guys come me and glenny got there and like they had a table so like there was the general admission line we're like we're not gonna like let's just go and say like oh our friends got a table inside so we're up to this bouncer we're like hey like uh we we have a like a table in there and the guy just looked us up and down, laughed, and said, get in line. Brutal. And then another person came out and was like, no, they're actually good. And he apologized. He's like, I'm so sorry.

I was like, that was mean. That was mean. That was mean. That was very rude. Yeah. The only time I've ever been to Common Ground was for Rudy's birthday last year, I think, two years ago. And it was one of my girlfriends came down from Massachusetts, and she ended up getting hammered, and she passed out in between two booths.

She was sitting at our table, and she had her legs on this girl's table over here and was just conked out like that. Slumped. And they were like, can you get your friend out of here? And we were just like, I don't know that girl. That's your friend. And we had them go on for like 20 minutes. The girls were screaming, do you know who this girl is?

We're like, I don't know who you're talking about. I've never seen that girl in my fucking life. That's your friend. How about you get her leg out of our fucking table? It was like 12 girls trying to figure out who this girl was. Did you bring her? Did you bring her? Did you bring her? Alright, man.

So now... Almost got a charley horse. Sorry. Almost got a charley horse in my foot, but I fought it off. I know that game. So yeah, are you doing Tommy thoughts? I mean, not officially. i just do them i honestly

i would like to try stand up one day yeah i think i could kind of just i mean you do have that very larry david-esque the only problem is it it almost is a little like what's the deal with i know but i would never like i've written a decent i would never do that for like stand up but it is but it is also like it works for a reason because people do like, yeah, that's fucking right. That relatability is why Seinfeld and Curb work so well. Do you know what Jackie told me yesterday? I'm so not relatable. I heard her say that.

Yeah, she's not relatable. She said I'm not. No, no, because you started the. You started the show with it. And I listened to it this morning in the shower. And I do... I see, like, both sides of it. You said something, like, disgusting and, like...

Fuck, what was it? I have a cavity, and I, like, chew it on that side of my mouth. Yes. I'm scratching an itch. Right. But what you said was, make sure that you eat a bunch of Sour Patch Kids, fall asleep with them, so that you get a cavity, and then when you get it...

And it was just like, this is the behavior of a disgusting creature. Well, that was a joke. I was just telling her how to get to where I'm at right now. But it's also what you did. Probably. Definitely. Most likely.

Definitely. Yeah. Yeah. 100%. 100%. And so, that, I think, is not, like, I don't think. Fall asleep with candy in your mouth is not relatable? I don't want to live on this earth anymore.

Building a 12-foot skeleton with your boys isn't relatable? I think you are, as always in this world, you are a paradox. You make no sense. You're unrelatable and relatable all at the same time. Yeah, no, I'll take that it's like it's almost like who you are is relatable how you got there super unrelatable it's like yeah you ever have a cavity and like you know it kind of hurts so good yeah have you ever done it by like eating like 45 000 jars of them and falling asleep with it in while you know like you're laying naked on

the bed because you have no fucking air conditioner like that it's like what are you what are you talking about uh but that was funny when she's like she's so not relatable i chew i intentionally chew with that tooth because it feels like i'm scratching an itch what you see so many things are just like not relatable it feels so good speaking of surprising adjectives while you guys are doing that interview i was out there i just got told by you while you guys were doing that interview, I was out there. I just got told by, you know, you guys know John Foley. He's the Snapchat.

He does Snapchat. He goes, you know, two people have come up to me this week and described you as intimidating. And I was like, what? We're getting some of that here. Nick Hamilton is like upstairs. He's intimidating? He's like Voldemort up there. Yeah, he's like the bad man.

He sent like one email being like, we, you know. Do you remember what your email said? At least we have one person in this fucking group who's intimidating. Seriously. Kevin and I just get walked all over. Kevin and I have to fly to a fucking up front when we weren't invited to the one in our own backyard.

They invited us to the Chicago up front. That was crazy. They invited us to the Chicago up front directly after they bombed on inviting us to the New York one. I was like, so now you want us to the Chicago up front Directly after they bombed on Inviting us to the New York one I was like So now you want us to go to Chicago After you missed on New York As a make up for New York

It makes sense because we're the only ones Who would not throw a god damn bitch fit About not being in part Of the one in New York And we're also such a push over That we're like fine we'll go to Chicago for four hours. I remember seeing you like standing along the wall

and I was like darling I think this must be in the green room and you were like no we weren't invited it doesn't seem right it was so like mortifying that everybody, every single person when you're going up, I'm not well why not, I don't know and then

they would go like i don't know what to say next i you know playing with frankie and pop punk and nick was on stage he's like what's the song we're playing for you guys i was like oh they're not going he did the same thing he's like okay let me get back to my drums you know you know what i wanted to do outside the upfronts for like a video was hold my own up front it's like a personal upfront where i just like you want to invest in me. But I was like, maybe I should do that on a night where hundreds of millions of dollars are at stake. That would be funny, though, on the way out. Got any scraps?

You watched what you saw there. Smokeshell's looking for a sponsor. All right. Tommy Smokes, always a pleasure. Absolute pleasure. We'll see you at the party Friday. Is that official? Because Nick didn't know this party was happening Well Nick was going to be there

So he didn't have to be invited to the party What time should I get to your apartment? 8pm And can you text me your address? I can yes I think I can find your apartment I will have a little group text I will start a group text right now

I love a good group text Then we can be friends in it forever Follow along at TomSkibeli. What about IG? Same thing? Yeah, Twitter or Instagram, and then TikTok is only Tommy Smokes. Tommy Smokes. All right.

Good shit, man. សូវាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប� Thank you. Bye.