KFC Radio - Top Five Fictional Bars of All Time, Cooking College Out of Spite, and Matt Barnett

Episode Date: April 9, 2020

Don't forget to subscribe, rate five stars, and leave a review! Can you trust someone on your team if you haven’t seen their penis? KFC is starting the Cory G workout plan. KFC and Feits rank their Top 5 fictional bars. AITA Thursday returns with naked tik toks, the college rat, and refusing to cook out of spite. Voicemails: Roommate Quarantine drama, Tinder Spying, and a new Civil War. Matt Barnett joins the show to tell us what it was like to be on Love is Blind, having to keep his marriage hidden from two years, and watching the show with his wife.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Day 27, I believe, of quarantine. Pushing a month. Somehow, I'm down weight. I'm up. I'm up weight. Yeah? Yeah.

I don't know. I'm not significantly, but I'm up weight. Yeah, I'm down weight just because it's like muscle atrophy and like I'm, you know, I'm not like working out. But I stepped on the scale today like one eye open looking down like, I'm, you know, I'm not, not like working out, but I, I stepped on the scale today. Like, like one eye open looking down, like,

I don't know. Oh, okay. Which is the worst thing for me. I don't, I don't really trust the scale either way, but if it's lower than I expect, then I'm just like,

oh, well now I can keep doing whatever I can do. Everything. If you believe it. Perfect. If you don't believe it, that's made up. Yeah.

A hundred percent. I did. By the way, speaking of made up stuff, I hate fake Twitters who change their name. I'm not talking about things where it's like a trade.

You'll be corrected in that eventually. Pretty quickly. When someone changes their picture on Twitter and they'll pretend to be Rappaport or whatever. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But pretty quickly you'll have a moment of like, whoa.

And then you're like, oh, no, never mind. Someone will be like, you're an idiot. Yeah. But today, since it's not something where it's like immediately corrected, it went viral Like all Brady's support for Trump. Like Tom, it was like Tom Brady said that the Washington post reported the New York post reported. It wasn't a fucking quote from the Howard Stern. Tom Brady never said that.

It was, it was a fake. It was like, I'd like to see someone do better than him. Uh, like, it was like, like an ardent support of Donald Trump.

I, I, I mean, he talked about it and Brady was like, look, I don't get involved in politics. We were friends. You know, whatever.

He gave a political glance. But the quote that went viral by the Washington Post is like Tom Brady says he'd like to see someone do better than Trump. And it's probably fucking McOchner or whatever. Exactly. I mean, you should be able to like sue for that shit. That's defamation of character. Right. Great answer to a tough question where he's like, look,

me and Ivanka never dated, but, like, you know, whatever. I honestly didn't hear exactly the quote, but I know that was from a conicard. And the Washington Post being like, Tom Brady stands by Donald Trump. It's bullshit. That's not what happened. He doesn't dip his toe in the political water. He stood by it. I actually saw somebody tweeting the total opposite, being like, credit to Brady,

like 90 minutes with Howard Stern didn't give him a fucking thing. I think the last half hour he got a little more out of him. I think it was the last half hour Brady said he smoked weed in high school where Brady said that he's tired of seeing dicks in locker rooms. I disagree with Brady on both those things. You've got to have dicks on the team.

You've got to have dicks out. If I was on a professional team and we didn't have a group shower, camaraderie out the window. I love his answer. I'm so opposite. I'm on his side when he was like, why are we doing this? Why don't we have

fucking walls? Why do you just have to stand next to somebody? It's an $800 million facility. You don't have individual showers? That's not how teams work, Tommy. That's not how teams work. How am I supposed to trust you with the game on the line if I don't know what your penis looks like?

Are you cut? Are you uncut? I gotta know if we penis looks like. I got to say, are you cut? Are you uncut? I got to know if we're going to come back from 28-3, all right? All this stuff matters. How much am I going to – he said on the interview, he talked about how when he decided that a player wasn't trustworthy, he'd go to Bill and be like, look, I don't think this guy's going to help us. If you put him on the field, he's probably not going to get the ball.

And every single time he said Bill agreed with him. You're right. That's not the guy. he's probably not going to get the ball. And every single time he said, Bill agreed with him. Like, you're right. That's not the guy. He's not doing his role. And that would factor into whether or not I trust this guy. What's his dick look like? And it's not like – no, it doesn't have to be big. It doesn't have to be – it just has to –

I got to know it. You just got to know – like, all right, that guy walks around like that guy. He's not a pretender. Well, that's the thing. If someone's like a nasty motherfucker and then I see that he's got like an awful dick, I'm more inclined to be like, all right, well, I get it. I understand why maybe you are the way you are. Or if someone's being a little too fucking braggadocious, I'm like, well, it's because. You know, fucking.

So, you know, it fits. I have to think where your dick matches your personality. If it doesn't, can't trust you. If someone rolls in there with some Hardy Weinstein shit, no, you can't be on my team. Trade this fucker, Bill. Do you think when you're in the locker room and, like, Tom Brady's getting ready after the game,

and he puts on, like, his fucking $5,000 suit, and you're a rookie, and you're, like, you know, normal-ass clothes, do you think that, like, matters at all? Like, sometimes I think about the NBA guys when they you're like, you know, normal ass clothes. Do you think that matters at all? Sometimes I think about the NBA guys when they're really dressing up ridiculous. If any of the teammates are like, Jesus Christ, this guy. No, I don't think so. I think that's more... Again, does it match your personality?

That matches Tom's personality. Just be honest with who you are. Whether you're dick sized or you're clothes or anything. Does it match who you are? I'll tell you what matches you right now. Your fucking mop on top, dude. This thing is wild. That is wild.

There is no end in sight. Our girl Fleishman, she's not cutting hair right now. Nobody is. Are you just going to ride through the whole quarantine? Yeah, probably. First of all, because I want to grow it out. Second of all, I'm afraid to go to – you can't go to anyone else,

but I could never cheat on her. And then third of all, if I try to cut any of my own hair, I think she'll break quarantine rules, show up here, and like cut my hands off. You're never cutting. You can't use scissors anymore because I cut your fingers off. This is actually one of those things where we've talked about extensively how we're kind of prepared for quarantine. I'm prepared across the board, not just work, not just my lifestyle,

my hair too. I always just let my hair go. I go in the beard. I did my hair today. I'm just letting this go too. Whatever happens with this happens with this. Yeah, I feel like we should come out of quarantine as God intended. Right?

Yeah. Dude, that's exactly how I'm doing. Exactly how I'm doing. I think we're going to look wild. I'm very excited. I think I'm going to look wild. I can't wait to see what I look like in August when we get out of this. That's when we're getting out.

I know. It ain't going to be anytime soon. I've been either wearing a hat or just fucking letting it flow. This is the first time I've even tried to tame the beast. And it's because I'm rocking the new Fleischman line. Today's sponsor. She has officially launched her own line of shampoo, conditioner,

hair product, sea salt spray. And it is like the culmination of our girl's entire career. If you've been riding with us and Barstool and this show specifically for a long time now, you know Erica. She reached out to me when I got engaged. So that's like 2013 and maybe even late 12

because I had a long engagement. And she was just like, bro, if you're going to be standing on the altar, you need to do something about that hair. So I was like, okay, I'm totally on board with it. I turned the keys over to her. I said, it's in your hands now. And I don't think there's a single person alive who would look at my hair in 2013 and look at my hair now and be like, that didn't work out for you. I think I'm on the right side of history on that one. So since then, she's cutting John's hair, my whole team's hair, a bunch of barstool hair. She's opened up several more salons, added on to her payroll and employees. And now finally, a lot of people were always, a lot of listeners or readers were always like, I'm not from New York. She only works in New York, so you can't get your hair cut by her unless you live here. But now the Fleischman line is available to everybody. So we

got the whole line here. You got the shampoo. The shampoo and conditioner. Let me tell you something right now. And this is going to sound crazy, and I'm dead serious. It's fun to wash your hair with this shampoo. It feels thicker.

It's very bubbly. It's like you're taking a bubble bath in your hair it's like your head is just in in one of those those old kind of like like a child in the sink with all the bubbles you everyone's got that funny picture of you as a baby taking a bath in the sink it's like that but it's in your head and i i did a mohawk in the shower the other day yeah yeah, yeah, yeah. The only way I could do it is by having like that – because it's too high. It's too much now. It would fall over. But this shit is like – it's like sturdy.

It's got some grit to it, which is – You know how you have a shampoo beer where it's like – Yes. Right? Your hair bubbles up like a shampoo shampoo. It's not a shampoo beer. It's a shampoo shampoo. It's like when you go to the salon and the girl really fucking gets it in there.

And it's just like a fro of shampoo. Then I get out of the shower and I rock with the sea salt spray right here. This is the fucking, the real deal. And guess what, Kevin? No one's going to the fucking beach this summer. This is called day at the beach. Day at the beach is, you know, everybody has used shampoo and conditioner before. I'm not sure everybody has used a little sea salt spray.

And this right here, if you're trying to do your hair for real, you get it in there and it gives it, like, some grit. Now, I like to wash my hair because I'm a clean boy. John's a gross, dirty boy. So he doesn't wash his hair. So you definitely got to rock with this if you don't wash. That's why I get it's got the fragrance. Now, here's the thing, too, about a fragrance. If a girl tells you your hair smells nice, anyone can smell nice.

That's easy, right? You put on a little cologne, whatever. But if you get the patented girl saying, oh, your hair smells nice, that hits different, if you will. You know what they did? This scent is like this scent is subtle enough

that a girl might just think that's how you smell. You know what I mean? It's not like a cologne where it's like, oh, you have a scent. It's just like, that smells good. What is that? That's my fucking hair. You know what I mean? It's not like a cologne where it's like, oh, you have a scent. It's just like, that smells good. What is that? You're like, that's my fucking hair. You use this shit when you get up from bed in the morning,

your girl's going to be staying in bed cuddling with your pillow. You're leaving your mark on the place. That's exactly what it is. That's exactly what it is. You want to like, listen, maybe you're seeing a girl. You want to make her yours. Just rub your head on this fucking pillowcase. People will remember.

The next guy who walks in there is going to be like, I don't smell like that. I don't even have a shot. They've got the hair paste, which is a little more, you know, grittiness to it. They've got the hair cream if you're into a, like, a softer vibe. But the bottom line is everybody who's ever reached out to me talking about how they wanted to get the Fleischman difference and the Fleischman flow, you can now do it too, no matter where you live, no matter that we're in quarantine, it does not matter. Go to FleischmanSalon.com and that's F-L-E-I-S-C-H-M-A-N, Salon.com.

And when you're there, you go right to the top and you can shop. You click shop and it's got all the different, uh, all the different items. You can go on a cart and just buy them individually. You can start a subscription where it just gets mailed to you, which is, I mean,

that's the way of the world right now. Just have it. 10% there. What's that? You save an extra 10% with that. Save an extra 10% if you subscribe and you get 20% off when you use the promo code KFC. And one little note about coronavirus quarantine and business. Because Erica had to shut down her salons, obviously all the stylists are out of work right now.

And so in order to keep them on the payroll and not lose the quality employees she's built up and trained, she's going to take profits from the sale of the hairline and use that to help keep her employees keep their head above water. So you'll be doing some good for a small business here in New York, and you'll be looking good. This is the absolute no-brainer. You get a good shampoo. You get your hair to smell nice. You make your mark in your girl's bed, and you support them hairdressers. I mean, no-brainer. You get a good shampoo, you get your hair to smell nice, you make your mark in your girl's bed, and you support the hairdresser. I mean, no-brainer.

And really, really, in quarantine, if you can't cut your hair, you gotta control the beast. You gotta tame it, so you get a whole line of it. Otherwise, you're gonna be looking like, you know, fucking Tom Hanks in Castaway. So, FleischmanSalon.com, promo code KFC. Get involved.

You can look like us. You can look like the stars. We got a big show today. We got Emma the Asshole. We got Matt Barnett. If you know Barnett from Love is Blind, he's on the show today. He's just a regular-ass dude who got caught up in a reality TV show fucking phenomenon. So some real talk, like straight shooter with Barnett coming up.

And, of course, we'll get to our voicemails as well. So monster episode for you today. We got top five as well. But before we get to all that, I got something. Oh, boy. I got a question here. I just went outside. First time in probably 10 days, give or take.

Yeah, I did too. And didn't care for it, first of all. I was masked up. Felt like I was robbed. So I was sitting in my car, or my mom's car, and I had my mask on, had my hood up because I just think that does something. And then I was putting gloves on in the car. And I was like, I 1,000% think I'm robbed.

Absolutely. Without a doubt. And I went in there. As i was putting the glove on just like latex gloves and i ripped one and i was like i was like a scientist in a pandemic where it's like i just stared at my hand like this is it yeah this is that i'm officially or an astronaut who gets a suit cut yep but the the main takeaway i had from when I went into the liquor store is the woman told me. That's why you went out? You had to go to the liquor store?

Yeah. And got some good stuff. But the woman hit me with a stay safe. Now, very nice. Very nice thing to do, undoubtedly. But have we reached the point in this pandemic where we no longer have to

say stay safe when we leave, say goodbye to people, or start every text with, hey, how's the family doing, or whatever. I think we're past it. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying it's rude or anything, but with Thanksgiving, you've got about a two-week window where you know the register cashier hands you the check it says happy thanksgiving christmas you're about a two-week

window happy holidays area two three weeks we're a little past two three weeks now and it's getting to be a little much i definitely uh well i don't know i know i'm gonna go against you on this one because we just said it i I think, last episode. Right now, when you throw out the, like, how are you guys doing? How's the family? Can I get you? Nobody can help anybody in this situation. No, no, no.

But if you throw that out there, you feel like a fucking hero. I think that's different. If you're just straight up saying, hey, how are you? That's fine. If it's like a – like I did it with a work text yesterday. It was like, hey, how's it going? I hope you and the family are safe anyway. Yeah, see, that's the thing. Are you doing?

So I think you just answered your own question. I think if you're doing it for real – like I have people that I've been actually checking on who I know have family members who are sick or they're really in the thick of it. And I have people who I'm like, I have to text them about some other shit. I haven't talked to them really since quarantine started. I feel obligated to make some mention of what's going on. That I think we can get rid of. Okay. That's what this is the world now.

It's just, wait, we're still working. So here's the work question. I don't need to be like, I don't need to end it with thanks. That was great. Stay safe. We we're just this is how we live so let me read you a perfect example of what you hate right now i got an email from a employee at barstool and uh they're talking about some some video content and they said hey kevin i hope you're doing well i don't mind being inside but it's starting to get annoying with the little things anyway and then they launched into the business i don't need it just tell me about school scenes i don't need the rest just tell me about what you

need me to film i don't need that like and because guess what to be perfectly honest stella i didn't care that you're not doing good with the little things. I never asked. So I don't need your whole explanation. Yeah. But I also, I think I'm still going with stay safe. I've been using that as like my have a good one. First of all, in this world, I believe we ultimately fall into two camps. Take care. Have a good one.

Where do you go? Oh, have a good one. Me too. But take care. I a good one. Where do you go? Oh, have a good one. Me too. But take care. I never understood that. Take care. What is – like take – like be cautious? Be careful?

Yeah. Yeah. That's a little ominous. Like have a good one. It's like have a good day. Have a good night. Have a good whatever. Also ominous.

What? Stay safe is equally ominous. Well, what about ominous times though? Yeah equally ominous well what are the ominous times though yeah no i get it i get if we were if we were in the regular world and i was like finishing an interview i was like stay safe guys like well yeah i fucking hope so what's going on you know i'm about to be attacked but i think right now i'm sticking to my safe my stay safe the it's it's it look again i'm not furious about it it's not like a how dare you say that to me. It's just I think I don't – I'm just trying to get –

I'm trying to see into the future, and I don't still need to be here in stay safes in August. Yeah, well, that's the thing too is I don't think people realize. Here's what I don't get, and we're not going to do too much Corona because, like you said, this is our life now, so it's just time to move on. The people who have been rallying against basically like team corona or team like this is a hoax and all that shit the ones now who are like look it's it's it's like getting better it's not that bad it's like yeah

because we're doing the measures like they don't give it they're not giving any credit to like the quarantine and i don't think people realize that when you stop, I think it's just going to come right back, right? Yeah, I think it's happening in Singapore right now. I think Singapore is back on their – So it's like it's working and that's awesome. But I don't think we have an end really coming. I'll tell you, it's enough so. It's enough like that – like I think we have several more months to go.

I am on the Corey G program. Are you? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Come on. Mm-hmm. Now, I haven't done anything yet, but I had a phone conversation, and I'm signed up. You talked to him?

Yeah, because I told him. I told him afterwards. I texted him. You sent me his number, and I said, I genuinely, I was was like i don't want to do this but i do want the results i don't like doing this and i was like i do think i gotta at least talk to you first i was like i got all these fucking problems i got all these certain things i can't do i can't just be like your average guy like dive right in so let me talk to you first and he was like so he he's tailoring some shit for me but we had had a long talk about like just the mentality behind it and like how I don't – I don't want – like me and Corey G, literally polar opposites as humans.

Like cannot be further apart except for the idea of like having a personality and doing content. But otherwise I'm like I just – I don't want to do this at all. He's like, I get it. I get it. So we're going to figure this shit out. So, yeah. I mean long enough that – I knew this was going to be to do this at all. He's like, I get it, I get it. So we're going to figure this shit out. So yeah, I mean, long enough. I knew this was going to be a good introduction for you.

Yeah. I kind of went around, not around you by any means, but I just, I saw if he wanted to do it first. And then I was like, I'm thinking I'll have this guy on the show. What do you think? Yeah. And I knew you weren't going to say no,

because we don't ever say no. And I knew, I was like, this is going to change Kevin's life. You know what it is too? I told him like, anytime I've ever worked out with somebody, and what's funny, too, about our audience, the Barstool audience, not just ours specifically, like, they're into fitness. Like, people want to be in shape. It's like we're also like bags of shit, but we all want to be in shape.

So there was, like, people do take an interest to it. But anytime I've worked out with somebody else, and usually that means, a New York sports club, personal trainer who like, who the fuck is that guy? And that was my thing is when those guys are like screaming at you and in your face, that my reaction to that is like,

shut the fuck up, dude. Who are you? But someone like Corey, who's like the real by yelling at me, you're not going to get the results you want. Right. Right.

And, and even, even further where it's like, dude, you're just some like Guido meathead who lifts a lot. You don't know what you're doing. You don't – like, I'm not going to listen to you. Corey, on the other hand, is like, all right, that guy built a fucking, like, empire out of this shit.

So I'm going to listen to him. Yeah. So – Dude, the people who, like, act like they know when they're not someone like Corey – like, dude, I was 19 years old working at GNC and making supplemental recommendations to people I was a dick I had like three things I learned about and that's all I would recommend people would come in and be like hey look you're gonna lose weight

I'm like here you go you need mass gainer it's like Marty doing anti-terrorism it's like you have a couple fucking things on the script but you know he knows it inside and out so I'm going to try. I can't imagine right now, though, to be honest. We're working from

8 a.m. to 8 p.m. I can't imagine then being like, and now my workout starts. I work out before... You know what? We'll start working out together. When do you work out? I work out after this, and then I'll come back upstairs, and we'll do social distancing.

All right. That'll probably be the window. Then I'll come in for social distancing. All right. Let's get in shape. Maybe. Maybe. We'll see.

I'm at least going to try. Do you have weights and stuff, or is he still setting up your thing? You didn't get bands and shit? I told him I have bands. I don't have weights, but I was also like, I'll like free weights if that's that's what we're gonna do here um but it's like it's i really like i've actually been when i like my new apartment in new york i've been deciding if i want to get a one or two bedroom and i'm leaning towards two now because like i like just you realize how much time you waste going to the gym we're like i could go into

the gym you take me an hour and 45. Now it's like a 50-minute workout, 50 minutes to an hour. I don't have to walk down, fucking get undressed, change the locker room, whatever it is I do. It was just a much longer process. It's things you don't even think about. Oh, I'd stop in the store. I'd do this little thing. Everything's added in like five minutes.

It's like a fucking journey. Now it's like, thank God. Right now, you're just throwing around weights in the garage yeah yeah you know how bad do you think that young page views wants to be living in that garage he could wake up every morning with you and benny and your pops and just like fight and lift you'd be still have you'd see some dick in that locker room. We're going to do a little something new here, and I think it ties in nicely to last week's episode where we so eloquently and dramatically posted,

confessed how much we're missing bars. And shout out to Nick. If you saw the clip on social media with the dramatic music underneath it, the amount of people replying and responding and reacting to our ode to bars was something. So we're going to do a little top five here. Brought to you by Burrow. Now, I mean, the reason why it's going to be tough for me to work out is because I just love being on my couch. Just the couch is calling my names at all times. When you got yourself a burrow couch, not only do you have a comfortable couch, you have a smart couch that has the ability to charge

your phone and be plugged into your smartphone. We have the ability to customize your couch. It's going to look like you want it to look, feel like you want it to feel, fit where you want it to fit because it is the new age couch company that is completely tailored to your needs and your desires. Now, if you're in a place like New York or Boston or a crowded city with small apartments, you got to make sure that you can fit these things in the door, in the elevator, get it up to your apartment so you can customize the depth, the height, the width, the arms, the legs, the material, all that. It's durable. It's scratch-free.

It's scratch-resistant, stain-resistant. You can pick the leg finish. The fabric color, all of it can be customized. And right now they also have the sleep kit, which can transform your comfy sofa into a comfy bed. So you could basically outfit your whole apartment. They've got rugs. They've got coffee tables, love seats, armchairs. It's like the new spot to go when you've got your first apartment,

your new apartment, and you're trying to furnish the whole thing. You go to Burrow. Right now you can get $75 off your purchase with also free one-week shipping, which saves you another couple hundred bucks, to be honest, at burrow.com slash KFC. That's B-U-R-R-O-W dot com slash KFC for 75 bucks off your first purchase of all things living room at Burrow. So today is we're going to do our first ever top five list.

Well, we've been doing blogs and lists forever, but we're putting it into the KFC radio rotation. And so we can't go to real bars right now. So I'm sitting at home thinking about the best fictional bars. So top fictional bars in existence. You have the whole T-shirt line. You are the bar master. I will let you begin. This might be might. and i'm putting a hard

might on this this might be some recency bias number one the allied high fidelity what a bar now i can't speak to it yet i have not watched high fidelity i'm almost willing to guarantee this is recency bias. Well, here's the thing. And you're also in love. You're just in love with the girl who's, like, there. That's like, you love the bar? No, you love the hot bartender.

The bar sucks, dude. You just want to see the bartender. No, but she's there. Yeah. You're just thinking about the girl you like. But it's exactly. It's a dark. It's just like in my blog where I described how I miss bars.

It's exactly this. It's a dark – it's just like in my blog where I described how I miss bars. It's exactly – and then this. It's that bar. It's a dimly lit bar with just the outline outside where it's like pretty much usually empty. It's got a jukebox. It's just – it's perfect. Number one. Well, I'm going to – yeah. I don't care.

I don't care. I don't care. Number one, the outline. All right. All right. So I appreciate your recency, your creativity, hitting me with something new. If we're talking like top, we're talking best, I'm going to have to go a little cliche here.

It's like picking Jordan as your MVP. But I'm going Patty's pup. We just talked about it. We said like that's the kind of bar we want to own one day is an unsuccessful one with some drifters that you don't even know how the lights are on, and I want to just be there with my buddies. I actually really like the layout of Patty's Pub physically a lot. If I could own a bar, it would be –

It's a perfect physical layout. Yeah, it's got that back like not room but like that back rectangle and then it's got the bar that runs like pretty long it's patty's book but you also have now don't get me wrong i love watching these people but you also have to understand that look maybe maybe the green beer you're drinking is to fill with paint okay maybe maybe the ipa is just all the skunk beer in a fucking bed maybe there's a dead guy in the corner. Like those – I love the – Got to deal with the North Korean neighbors.

Like, yeah, there's a lot wrong, but all the better. All the better. It's all quirky. Yeah, no, you're right. But if I came in and someone was dressed up like it was a COVID-19 situation, they're hosing down whatever, a booth, and're i'm like what's going on over here they got a dead guy shit himself here i mean that's the problem for me not great not great that's not great what do you got number two is since i just started watching the wire i'm going cavanaugh's it's

basically the same thing again we're just going going to be listing Irish bars that are pseudo-empty. But number two, I'm going Cavanaugh's. It's just, I haven't, again, I'm probably towards the end of season one now, and all I've seen is just McNulty just there drinking

a glass of whiskey. I mean, you are McNulty. I will. He's the greatest shoe, well, I mean, you are McNulty. I will. Yeah. You're the greatest shoe, by the way. I didn't know that. I know. I know.

He's a tricky one, too, that motherfucker. I'm going to go with, for my second bar. Now, this is fictional. This is fictional. I mean, yes, the bar is fictional of i mean yes the bar is fictional but me being in this bar is also fictional because this is more of like a like a headquarters or like a hideout i'm going with the garrison from pinky blinders i want a place that's like if shit goes down like meet me at the garrison because we've got like our artillery and then we're gonna roll on like the rival gang like like john walks

in like he got bottled and he's bleeding and it's like fuck it let's go to the garrison we got to take care of business so that's more of like a headquarters also a great fucking bar that room they have where they have their private room that also you can get a drink in yeah i love that magic room yeah so sick which you just knock on the window and next thing you got a glass of whiskey right there yeah it's a little bit like speakeasy, a little bit fancy bar, a little bit like gang hideout. I'm not in a gang. If I was in a gang, the Garrison.

Okay, three, Deadwood, Gem Saloon. Wow, fuck, you beat me to it. I was thinking about going with Gem Saloon before. Fuck you. Let me tell you what. If you went Gem, I was going Garrison. Go Garrison, yeah. I love

the two-floor layout where it's not... Where the second floor, you can see everything. Now, granted, up there, it's just rooms to bang prostitutes in. But it's still a cool thing when you can walk around and just look down. The way that Al Swearengin's like, you cocksucker, hopeful head, fucking get out! He's got a bird's eye view of everything.

And they have the two things, too, that I will always add a huge up for me in a real bar or in a bar. It is, one, the swinging doors. There's a bar restaurant in New York that has the saloon-type door. And then, two, the old-timey cash register. I told Pat for that. Like the cha-ching with the buttons. If you got like the new POS, which is funny that they're called a POS, a point of sale.

I mean, you got to rebrand that technology. If you got a new piece of shit, it's a piece of shit. I want one of the old things with the big keys that come way up and you fucking type it. And somehow, I don't know what magic they use. Somehow I still get to use a credit card those are the back yeah that's the combo that i need yes um third bar for me um uh oh my god i just blanked on it i just had a fucking tip of my tongue um you said you said gem saloon um uh oh uh og og tv bar cheers i want i want i want i want uh i want it's more that's more so the people like like when you think about you know it's the fucking song it's it's

cheers you want to go where everyone knows your name you want to walk in and get the norm treatment you want to know your bartenders and your waitresses and you have your seat. You know, Cliff sits here or Norm sits here. That's more of the atmosphere that I want, and there's no better bar than Cheers. That's what it's called, right? The bar is called Cheers, right? Oh, yeah. I don't know.

See, this is one thing with Cheers that I don't know if I love it or I hate it in my bartender where he doesn't drink. Yeah. Now, uh fucking what's his dick sam alone sam alone uh i was gonna say his real name i can't think of that either i'm not doing today ted dancing uh the um he's i know he ripped and ran for a while right he was so if you're a recovering alcoholic okay that's okay don't you're just a pussy no you're like look i murdered a few people in my day i had to stop drinking fine i mean it's like anything else you know i need you to like know the product i need to i need you to know you know what you what you're slinging here and if you've never even touched this stuff i can't trust you but if you're like, I can't trust the stuff, then I really trust you.

Yeah, yeah. Four, I got The Hog's Head In. And that is from one Harry Potter. And it feels very much like a ski lodge. Because they're always walking to it in the snow. And by always, I mean I think that one scene. But it is snowing outside. It's a dark cabin-like. like a ski lodge because they're always walking to it in the snow. And by always, I mean, I think that one scene, but it's, it's,

it's, it is snowing outside. It's a dark cabin. Like there are candles. It's candle lit wood again, everywhere. I'll big wood fan. I respect wood. And it's,

it's just, it's, you know, you get yourself a pint. It's beautiful. Beautiful fireplace going. Of course you got to have a fireplace, you know,

uh, if there's snowing outside, I'm not going to your bar unless there's a fireplace. A fireplace in general, like houses, bars, restaurants, a fireplace makes all the fucking difference. The winter in New York, basically the bar I frequent the most, Molly's. Sawdust on the floor, fireplace anyway. Tinderbox. Don't care. That's where I'm getting my whiskey at. This one I feel like is a

great late round pick up by me. The Alibi. Oh, son of a bitch! Coming up with your fourth pick for the Alibi. The clientele there and the bartenders and the name. Naming your bar the alibi is so fucking good. I mean, look how distraught John is.

Me and fucking Frank are just hanging out. The Gallagher is rolling through. Kev and his sexy black wife. We're running numbers and scams and schemes. And everyone, Kev always gives out like a free round when there's a fight that pops off. The alibi is a great sleeper. I can't believe it.

That's going to be a number one pick for a lot of people. I just grabbed it with the fourth pick overall. I made a goddamn shirt for that bar. Son of a. You know what? This is, though, at least this is proof positive that we don't prepare for these things. This is all off top. Because if I had done homework,

Alibi would probably have been number one. In fact, Ally, I probably would have just... I should have just said it. I was saying the word, and I said Ally instead of Alibi. Son of a bitch. God damn, I'm an idiot. I'm an absolute idiot. This is your last pick, right?

Yeah. Yeah. See, here'm an idiot. I'm an absolute idiot. This is your last pick, right? Yeah. See, here's the deal. People are going to get mad that I'm not going to have listed the Snake Hole Lounge, but I wouldn't want to go to the Snake Hole Lounge. Which one's that? That's from Parks and Rec. Okay. That wouldn't be a fun bar for me.

It's a lounge. Lounges are almost worse than clubs. It's like a fun bar for me. It's a lounge. Lounges are almost worse than clubs. It's like a club without the drugs. That's funny. Lounges, what are you doing? Just go all the way. Go get fucking drunk in a quiet bar or go do ecstasy in a loud bar. What are we doing?

It's Middle ground. No half measures. But the... You know, I think people will get mad. I'll go with Moe's Tavern. Moe's Tavern's a good spot. I was thinking a little... I'm not a big cartoon guy, so my mind always goes

fictional, still real people. I could fuck around. I like a bartender with some anger in him. He's drunk, and he's going to yell at you a little bit. Which is like, yeah. The bartender is there to serve drinks, but he's also kind of directing traffic. He's keeping things in line. He's a good drunk adult.

Yes, yes, yes. You are the daycare. You're the nightcare. You know, you're just taking care of your babysitting, us idiots. My last pick, you know, I know that a lot of people will also throw out the drunken clam, the family guy counterpart. I don't really have much of a tie to that place. I thought about I have enough pubs that maybe I will throw

in a club. Maybe I'll go bada-bing and just have... I also have a strip club that I can rock at from The Sopranos. But this just popped up when I did a little bit of research. It's a deep cut, and I don't even know if you necessarily have seen the movie or know what I'm talking about. Have you seen Shaun of the Dead I have not no there's a bar in Shaun of the

Dead called the Winchester which is like you know the world is coming to a fucking end and zombies are running around and they go to the Winchester and it's like it's a and they're you know they're the they're British they're drinkers it's just good... It's literally like if the world's going to end, you've got the Winchester to hold it down. So my final pick, totally off the grid, off the beaten path, the Winchester. I like that. That's a

list of 10 bars right there that, I mean, you'd be hard-pressed to beat that. I know the nerds are going to tell me Moe's Isley Cantina or whatever, the Star Wars one. You're getting shot there! With a bunch of aliens getting shot.

I don't need a fucking lightsaber fight. I don't need aliens. I don't need bounty hunters. This place is fucking crazy. Although you could argue that the Gem Saloon is just a human version of that. Yeah. Well, yeah.

Yeah. But there's also whores. Whores. I feel like if Moe Weisley wasn't made on Disney, I'm sorry, if Star Wars wasn't made on Disney, we'd find a couple of whores there. By the way, ridiculous to think about the Gem Saloon in Manhattan,

the one in Murray Hill that all the barstool people go to, could not be further from the real Gem Saloon in Manhattan, the one in Murray Hill that all the barstool people go to, like, could not be further from the real Gem Saloon. It's like this fucking... A good time! A good time. No, for sure. But it's been a while, but I always had a good time there. It's a Murray Hill, you know,

young party bar, as opposed to like... Actually, I haven't been there in a while. I probably end up... Most nights, there's a barstool party. I probably end up – most nights there's a bar school party. I'll end up there at like 4 a.m. All right. So that's KFC Radio Top Fives. It's Thursday, so we got to do our M.I.D. assholes, of course, where we would decide.

We really should be like judge, jury, and executioner for this world of deciding if people are assholes. Yeah. I want to be the Supreme Court of the Internet and be like, we get to rule. The Am I the Asshole Twitter account should be like, and now go over to Kevin and John, they will decide. Because I'll also tell you, when we leave it up

to the hands of the public, they're always wrong. Wrong every time. Every fucking time. Like the previous bartender the previous bartender discussion you got to come to assholes right and i if i go oh i do that you're the asshole takes one to no one because i'm an asshole did you see but also on mine today it's something i do and i'm gonna ruin not the asshole so i might be biased in this. I don't know if this was real or not. Did you see the toilet that like scans your asshole? No.

And I can't imagine this is real, but go on. Well, yes, I agree. But this person just kept like tweeting out like screenshots from what looks like a website with like schematics and info. If it's a fake,

somebody went like deep deep deep to fake it the reason why i thought maybe it was fake is at one point they used the acronym cnn and i thought this was some like political joke like do you know what i'm talking about yeah okay this is it chaps blogged it do we do we know if this was real or not stanford made it and the diagrams john are are just like cartoon – not cartoon, but like diagram figures in like construction. What? They made them in CAD? Well, they just have like pictures of their assholes.

Is this for a bidet? Because that might make sense, like a bidet. Yeah, like our boy Steve was telling us, you got to have the right angle to clean your asshole. But I think this was more like to use it. You can't poop in this thing

unless you... It's basically like your face unlocked, but it's with your asshole. I don't know about that. I guess I like the idea, like, you're not allowed to poop in my house. My toilet won't recognize your asshole. This, to me, is like, whichever Stanford students were doing this,

let's focus on cancer. Coronavirus. Almost, literally, anything other than asshole recognition technology. That's the last thing that this world needs. Anyway, Am I the Asshole today is brought to you by Aveo.

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You are not going to get that deal anywhere else. You cannot get 10 days of vision. Could you imagine that? If you're blind, it's like, hey, I'll give you the gift of sight for over a week. You've got to give me four quarters. What a fucking deal. AveoVision.com slash KFC. All right. Am I the asshole? Let's get into it. We got a couple ones here that I'm pretty sure a couple of fellas got themselves in a decent bit of trouble on these ones. So you've seen the trend right now of girlfriends walking into the room naked to surprise their boyfriends. I'm sure how they're on TikTok. That's the Chinese government stealing your titties.

John is on an anti-TikTok crusade. Well, yeah. I'm not good at it. I fucking hate things I'm not good at. A hundred percent. It's like just – yeah. If you were good at TikTok, you'd be on the front lines. You'd be in stool team six.

You'd be doing the whole nine. When did it become not cool? When does dancing become lame? When does dancing become lame? Yeah, like when people are like, this is so stupid. It's just people dancing. It's like, yeah. Oh, I think it would have to be like when it's going to be over.

Oh, no, never. Dancing's always been cool. Dancing's awesome. Michael Jackson, Chris Brown, Derulo, anybody who can like do that shit. The Jabberwockies and all that. It's just people that are good at dancing. You're just hating. Anyway, so a lot of people, girls have been walking in naked

and their boyfriends are playing video games. And it's like, how does the boy, how does the guy react? I've never really, like if I'm dating somebody or they come in the room naked, I'm responding to that. Positively. Yes. Like I'm going to that. Positively? Yes. Like, I'm going to fuck you. Like, it would take a lot for me, and maybe it's because I'm not a gamer.

It would take a lot for me to be like, honey, I'm in the fourth quarter of Madden. Well, I don't know. Someone came in this room naked right now, like, I'm recording. What are you doing? Work's different. I wouldn't tell you, like, I can't. I'll be right back. I would hope you would just smash her right here.

Work is different though if you're doing the only thing that maybe if i was watching like a playoff game or something like that but like a regular season game i'm trying to think of the things that i get dialed into because i don't do video games if you walk in naked we fuck yeah i don't even think a playoff game would really stop me right i'd be like because by the way – I'll be five minutes. I'll be okay. Yes, unless it's like, you know, the final minute of the Super Bowl. Maybe we'll be back in plenty of time for the third and fourth quarter, you know?

But now this, though – I'll finish up before the anthem is done. Don't worry about me. This is a little different, though. So this is why we'll talk it out. 25-year-old male, 24-year-old female. There's currently this trend on TikTok of girls surprising their man by walking in the room naked, filming their reaction. I've seen the videos, and normally the reaction is a man gets a smile on his face, and they get it on.

It's cheesy, it's romantic, funny, whatever. My girlfriend is working from home during the pandemic, and I work at a hospital. I got home from a 12 hour shift of potentially being exposed to COVID-19 and just wanted to have some beers and go to bed. I guess my girlfriend thought she would get the same reaction when I walked in the door and saw her naked. I barely had enough energy left to give her any reaction, let alone a good one. I basically just told her I appreciated the gesture, but I'm exhausted. She got moody at me basically comparing all these other TikToks so the man gets excited to see the girl naked. I told her all these TikToks have men working from home,

not walking in the door after a 12-hour shift in a hospital during a pandemic. She then took that as an insult at the fact that she's currently working from home. She's like, you can't win. You can't win. So who's the asshole? He said, since it happened a couple days ago, she's acting like I don't find her sexy at all, giving me sarcastic answers.

Who's the asshole here, him or her? I love stories like this. These are what I live for. These stories just give me hope to press on every day. Maybe today's the day I hear another one of those. It's always like, you know, the Sunday episode when Charlie's like, you think you have a tough life?

Like, walk a mile in my shoes. Yeah. The second you ask a gal to walk across the room in your shoes is a complete, it's like, do you think I'm disgusting? And eventually, it's like, I've dealt with it so long that I've said, I don't have to ask the question anymore.

They do find me disgusting. And I get it. So now it's – you have to – this is what I was talking about the other day too. We're bringing back the power of the penis. The power of the penis is back because you don't – you get to lay around the house all day and then you think you're just getting this? No. This right here is a prize to be won and then you think you're just getting this? No. This right here is a prize to be won, and you have not put in an ounce of effort.

You think just getting it is going to do it? Oh, no, no, no, no, no. I've been busy saving lives. I'd like to be wooed, please. Right. Treat me like a fucking special girl. What kind of fucking lunatic is trying to have sex with someone who just went on a date? That was my thing.

It's like after I hit the fucking hazmat chamber and get sprayed down with Clorox, then maybe we can talk, let alone swap bodily fluids and shit. I just went to a liquor store. And I obviously masked up and all that stuff. But then I went and everything I got from the liquor store and the car, I bleached. I got the Clorox bleach wipes. I wiped down the handle of the car, the steering wheel, every bottle of

liquor and wine I purchased, all the beer cans I purchased. Everything got a rub. You at least got to wipe down this penis with some swipes or some shit. Come on. I do love the like, you just you can't win these arguments. Like him being like, well, I don't work from home.

I got a real job that I got to worry about. Oh, so now you got a problem that I work from home? I'm like, no, that's not what I said. I'm just saying that I don't want to fuck right now. And now all of a sudden I'm mocking, you know, your employment. It's like, Jesus Christ. You're just looking for a fight. Everyone's want to fuck right now and now all of a sudden I'm mocking you know your your employment it's like Jesus Christ you're just looking for a fight everyone's working from home right now it's like yeah fucking senators are working from home he's not he's not uh downshaming the importance of your job because you're not there it's just people are working

from home people don't get dressed I actually that's that's one thing that i think uh in general as we take as the power of the penis surges here i also think girls can get away with denying sex all the time like you can say no and we'll keep coming knocking for like a thousand days in a row right if a guy one night can't get it up is too tired doesn't want to it's oh you don't even think i'm attractive anymore like this is not all about you sometimes me and my dick just want to lay down okay and that doesn't mean that that i don't like you or whatever just walk again walk a mile in my shoes you know you denied me for 89 straight days and here i was on day 90 knocking on the door and one night i just want to have some beers

and go to bed, and all of a sudden, it's, you don't like the way I look? Fuck off. Yeah, I just had a Corona guy cough in my face. Sorry if I'm not horny right now. That's really, but this is why... I just pulled out phlegm and undercooked bat from my mouth. I'm not in the mood for sex.

That's where he fucked up, though. You gotta walk in And be like Oh no no no The head of the hospital said I can't be near anybody right now You can't just be like no You gotta fucking spin that

And be like oh I've got COVID on my dick I got that corona dick girl You don't want this Alright so We're in agreement she's the asshole she's absolutely the asshole next up we got all right am i the asshole for turning a whole class against the student i'm taking organic chemistry which is even worse than gen chem i can't imagine the exams and tests are unnecessarily hard and the class itself is complicated we all

seem to be struggling besides this one person. Our professor is unfortunately still taking her lectures very seriously. Fucking ridiculous. And assigned us a test worth 25% of our grade on Monday. Most of us cheated, besides the one student, despite her claiming that everyone had a different version of the test. We didn't. We ended up doing much better compared to before. Well, since the rat didn't cheat, he didn't do as well as those who cheated did and therefore the

curve was messed up so he screenshotted the group chat text etc and emailed our professor she canceled our scores and will be taking further action it was clear that he's the one who ratted like a bitch so somehow i brought it up on the group chat so somehow i brought up on the group chat and most if not all of us turned on him some people sent him angry texts etc calling him out he says it's all my fault and this harassment has caused him so much stress am i the asshole are you telling me john that that the general public is saying that this guy is an asshole for turning people on? The number one top response, you're obviously the asshole and you know it. What is the point of this post?

This is the problem. We get all of these from the Twitter. Am I the asshole? Twitter, though, is a bunch of fucking – I'm on the – I don't follow Twitter. You're on Reddit? Reddit. I get it from the Twitter, and the Twitter is usually a bunch of fucking oh i'm on i'm on the i'm on the i don't i don't follow the reddit reddit i get it from the twitter and the twitter is usually a bunch of fucking little bitches this is the most clear-cut case of like first of all this kid has been ruining the curve all year long so taste your own fucking medicine and you just don't snitch you

don't rat it's one fucking test you're upset He probably didn't do as good, but he probably did fine. And now these people are going to be in trouble, not just like, oh, I didn't get a good grade on the test. You're going to be in trouble like you fucking cheated. This guy, you should be able to beat him. Throw this guy a blanket party. Whack this guy with bars of soap and pool balls and tube socks. Fuck this guy.

Now, I will say this person is the asshole in a completely different sense. You're the asshole for planning a cheating scheme on a group text that you know this guy's on. Yeah, and even roping in the curve record to be cheating. Like, that guy, he doesn't get this. You start a new group text and be like, no, that guy's not going to fucking cheat, so we're all cheating. Everyone give us a chance.

Right. That's fucking crazy. So that's stupid. You Everyone give us a chance. That's fucking crazy. So that's stupid. You're an idiot. You're a bad cheater. You don't know how to snake it. But you're not an asshole in this situation. No, I mean, it's... This is, you know, the kid, no one really kept up with him, but the kid

who reminded a teacher of homework in elementary school, this is who they grow up to be. I luckily didn't keep track of those people and didn't keep in touch with those people. But that's who this is, right? This guy, I'm not going to encourage violence. But if this guy got his ass beat, I would be like, I get it. You made your own bed. Makes perfect sense.

You went to a teacher about – it's not even like – cheating, who gives a shit? Who gives a quarantine too, like right now? If you're a teacher and you gave a test during quarantine of course you're cheating it should be prepared and also guess what cheating on tests shouldn't be illegal okay go on oh look you want me to learn the information right i'm learning i got you the answer, you might not learn the information. I got the answer. True.

It's like I read the book. You asked me a question. I got you the answer. And you know what? Teacher's an asshole too. If you really wanted to make sure there's no cheating, you would have given different tests. You were lazy. You didn't.

You're a lazy little bitch. You tried to fucking con us. We're too smart for that. And we just got a rat in the ranks. And we're going to kill him. We're too smart for that. And we just got a rat in the ranks, and we're gonna kill him. We're gonna kill that guy. Every test should be done on the Henry Ford scale, where it's, uh,

he used to say, I can get you to answer any question in the world. Walk in, he would just call someone who knew the answer. I'll get you the fucking answer. I'll get it for you. And guess what? While I'm looking it up, I'm probably learning. I'm looking it up. I'm like, oh, how about that? I didn't know that. That's a fun fact. It's better than cramming. Let me have an open

book exam. Let's fucking revamp the educational system right here on KMC Radio. I certainly like that spin zone there, John. Cheating is learning. They are the same thing. If you just don't give me a crib sheet, make me look it up. Then I will study during the test, okay? Let's just do that.

I will retain it for 45 seconds during that answer, and that's it. All right. Last. I'm the asshole here. I've been dating my significant. Am I an asshole? I don't think the – fuck. I forget.

Maybe it doesn't retain it. The only time I ever cheated, I remember the answer was Sir Francis Bacon. I forget what the question was, though. So you didn't retain it that well. Well, fuck it. Let's the answer was Sir Francis Bacon. I forget what the question was, though. So you didn't retain it that well. Well, let's find out what Sir Francis Bacon did. Let's learn right now. Sir Francis Bacon invented chemistry. No, I just made that up.

I think he was a writer. I do believe that some people think he was Shakespeare or something. I'm just splashing myself. He worked great with scientific Some people think he was like Shakespeare or something. Splash my son. He remained – he was working with the scientific method. The scientific method. He remained influential throughout the scientific revolution. Okay, so my – I bet the question was who developed the scientific method?

Answer, Sir Francis Bacon. It probably was. Everyone's going to fucking remember that answer now. We just taught people things because I cheated on a test once. But for real, though, I just taught people things because I cheated on a test once. But, but for real, I just looked it up and I was right. Some people think that,

that you know how some people think that Shakespeare was like a lot of people. One of the, one of the theories is that it was just Billy Bacon, which by the way, if your name is Sir William, you, Oh, Francis,

not William. So he's Frankie Bacon. You got it. You got to go Frankie Bacon. He also died of pneumonia big thing um oh he obtained he contracted the condition studying the effects of freezing on the preservation of meat honestly not that smart if you're like let's find out about pneumonia oh i'm dead that's well if you don't know what pneumonia is well yeah but i think that you gotta

be a little bit smarter. Like, oh, let me find out the effects of me fucking jumping in a volcano. Oh, I burned up and I'm dead. Oh, you fucking jabroni. He's talking about freezing meat. He wasn't eating frozen meat. He was talking about seeing how it works with preserving it. Right, I understand that, but what was he doing?

I would imagine putting it into freezers and things. Yeah, so I'm saying if you're hanging out in freezers and shit you get pneumonia you're not that smart he's a smart guy shut up sir francis bacon i'm smarter than sir francis bacon all right last time i the asshole am i the asshole for refusing to cook for my girlfriend i've been dating her for five years and a bit i'm 25 she's 28 i would say we have a pretty good relationship she can be somewhat unaware of how her words will affect people she can be inconsiderate like that. And I have a bit of a temper. Oh, this sounds like a great combination. When things are good, they're good. When they're bad, they're bad. Basically, we started dating. I was a terrible cook. I made

decent egg and bacon, egg and bacon breakfast, like decent egg and bacon and eggs, egg and bacon. You clearly can't, right? Egg and bacon breakfast, a couple dishes. I knew little, and I was very good. I wasn't very good at what I did. She would often poke fun and make jokes at my expense when I would cook for us. It was fine at first. Then she keeps making jokes. She keeps getting upset.

And eventually she wouldn't even let us cook and insisted she would do it when we ate together. She's a better cook, and I won't get annoyed by her jokes anymore. Fine, whatever. The jokes didn't stop. She kept saying things like, aren't you glad I cooked dinner and rubbing it in. So after about a year of her jokes, I just started to decide to practice my cooking. So now he's fucking fire with those pots and pans. Time skipped four years of reading recipes and cookbooks.

He went to his dad's old chef school textbook to learn about it. And he ends up being like fire in the kitchen. So now she's unemployed and she's been home all the time. And she often offers to cook dinner for us. Sometimes I let her, but now I like my food more. So I often cook for myself. Get on my level. Get on my level. So she called me petty, which I have to admit I am. But I reminded her that I asked her to stop with the jokes and she never she wouldn't do it. We argued for a while. I won't apologize for throwing her own words back at her until she apologized for all the jokes she made of me over the years.

So who's the asshole? I mean, this guy's unequivocally the asshole. Now, I respect it. But there is no way you can go back to college for cooking just to piss off your girlfriend. Yes, you can. I love it. I love it. Don't get me wrong.

I respect it. It's an unattainable level of assholery previously thought by me. But he's there. It's 100%. He's achieved it. I mean, like, you studied for four. These people need to fucking have a murder-suicide and get it over with. That's how this fucking relationship depends.

You're like, I could break up with this girl but instead i'm gonna go back to college become jeff and fucking not cook for her just kill her than yourself or just wait for if he kills you than herself because that's the only way this is going this is the greatest revenge plot since the fucking count of monte cristo this dude went deep this dude went for the long con he went undercover he became a professional chef just to be able to say get on my level you made too many jokes it is i mean can you imagine like every night learning like coming home from work i'm like all right i'm gonna start cooking class now and every night just throwing away throwing away years of your life to piss off your girlfriend.

And waiting. And waiting to unveil it. Like, she only learned he was a good cook, really, by finally testing some of his food after years. It's like, yeah, bitch, I learned how to rattle these pots and pans. He thought this guy was going to Alcoholics Anonymous every night. He's just cooking over a fucking tin trash can

in the street with a bunch of homeless guys. You're like, here, guys, have it. Test this. I also respect the standoff. I'll apologize when you apologize. She started it, though. She made all those jokes for years. I started cooking for years. We're talking about two

very long-term petty plans. just i would say just break up but clearly these two are like batman and the joker where they're destined to do this forever yo i've never heard that that is the best way to put fucking dysfunctional relationships the batman and the joker you two are gonna be be like putting each other near death over and over some of you might even get institutionalized one might be arrested for a time and we will do this dance again and again and again that is special but it's really just about deciding then who's bat and who's the Joker. So I'm going to say here, the thing about cooking too is like you can very easily just like if you're cooking one burger, you can cook two. So you know what I mean?

It's like to deny someone else food when you're already cooking it is so fucking rude that, yeah, he's got to be the asshole. But it's an assholery that, like you said, I respect it. Because it's one with a cause. What? What did you say? It has a cause. Like, being an asshole, just being an asshole, whatever. This dude is fighting for the cause and for the power of the penis,

like we say. So, yeah, I hate to pick her, but you're an asshole, dude. It's Thursday. It's time for a little Thirsty Thursday here as I sit down with my buddy, John, and I share this podcast with all you guys. You know, for a long time, I was doing internet friends, you know, between Twitter. Even prior to that, when I was growing up, I moved from the Bronx to

Philadelphia, and then when I went back to the, when I was growing up, I moved from the Bronx to Philadelphia. When I went back to the Bronx, I kept up with my friends on AOL and on AIM and chat rooms and shit. Now, I feel like we're all doing Zooms and live streams. We're doing internet friends and social media.

I'm learning that you don't need to be face-to-face. You don't need to be sitting right next to them on a bar stool. You can have yourself a Miller Lite here, a little cheers. And it's just the same. I'm sitting in front of a computer instead of sitting at a bar. You are 1,000 miles away instead of sitting right next to me. And we're still sharing the same stories, sharing the same laughs.

We said before that Miller Lite is the original social media. It's like people get together on Twitter or Instagram to share their thoughts. It used to be like, let's get together with this bottle right here before we start bullshitting and asking questions and telling tales. And now I'm learning that it's more than just the original social media. It's the original socialization. It Doesn't matter what manner you do it in, what location you do it in, or how many people you do it with. All you need is one other person, a couple

bottles of Miller Lite, and let the good times roll. So get your 18 pack today at the liquor store. Atta boy! Choice Hops from the Pacific Northwest is the most quality beer on the market right now. And you can get it right now delivered to your door.

If you can't go out, you can order delivery. Have them dropped right off on your doorstep. It's Miller Lite. Celebrate responsibly. The Miller Brewing Company in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. 96 calories, 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces. John, Sunday, first day of the week, last day of the week. Last.

Thank you. I mean, I was going to have to, like, break up with you if you said – wait, what did you say? Last. Yeah, last. Okay, yes, yeah. I've been – I'm in a slobber knocker fight with Coley Mick right now. We're spiraling out of control. We're talking about religion.

We're talking about, like, math and the moon. Are you asking me what's on the calendar? On the calendar, it's the first. What is it, really? It's the last. Right. And you can – people are talking about bookends. Like, you can have an end be at the front the same way you have bookends.

All these cutesy like straw man arguments and shit. All I know is that it's the last day of the weekend. And your day, you look forward to the weekend. Then the weekend ends. And then Monday starts the weekday. It's the end, meaning last. I work five days. My treat is a two-day break.

At the end of the two-day break, I work five days again. The cycle begins. I get a two-day break with a treat. Then I work five days. My treat is a two-day break. At the end of the two-day break, I work five days again. The cycle begins. Then I work five days again. Two-day break is a treat. It's not like, oh, I start my Sunday to prepare my week. Then I work five days, and I get a fun day on Saturday. No. Five days work, two days of

rest. Five days work, two days of rest. Coley was trying to say to me that Sunday and Monday are more connected than Sunday and Saturday. Shut up. I mean, that's just ridiculous. It's Sunday and Saturday. They go together. Sunday's fairies lead into Monday, but Sunday and Saturday are fucking like this.

You know Monday, the day when you go to work? Well, Sunday, the day you do the exact opposite. Yeah, they're close together. They're like thick as idiots and by the way let me just add uh do you think god rested on the seventh day because it was starting the week or you think he was tired from a long ass week of creating he was done he was like fuck it i did my work i'm gonna rest and i'll start tomorrow yeah that's voicemails let's go i just smelled that beer this is crazy i keep smelling things you do. Me and John have this weird, like, twins connection going.

I burped earlier. He swears he could smell it through the live stream. I just smelled that as you put it up to your nose. This is insane. And good news, you don't have corona if you can still smell. True. What's up, 10 FC, Vice, Super Producer producer bc got a situation here for you so i live with three other guys um one of who has a girlfriend who is literally always always at our house

basically an additional roommate uh never leaves she's always cooking for our boyfriend her boyfriend because he's a slob whatever can't keep up with himself but she's a nurse so she's going to a hospital three or four times a week and is spending more time at our house than at her house she also lives with two other nurses so my question question is, are we the assholes? Are we fucked up if we confront our roommate and tell him he can't see his girlfriend anymore or he's got to go live with her until all this settles down? We're doing our job.

We're quarantining ourselves. We're staying in. We're not going out and getting fucked up. But she's coming in every single day after the hospital we don't know what to do give me your opinion i'd love to hear you guys chime in viva i mean we did this last time basically it was your girlfriend having the friend come over you can't have it and in fact i i would say it sounded like he said me and the roommate. So it sounds like this is a four-person roommate situation. Yeah.

Right? I'd be like the three of us. Yo, we'll cover your rent this month, next month, whatever it is. You go live with her. If you don't want to be in the apartment, we'll cover your rent for these two months or however long this goes on. Because I figured one person's rent split up between three, I think. Yeah, it's manageable. Well, you know, yeah, if nobody lost their job or all that shit.

If that's on the table, I would go that. Did he say that she works in a hospital too? Yeah. That's reckless on her end. If you're working in a hospital right now, most people are like,

stay away from their children, stay away from their parents. To just be like, alright, I'm going to go from the hospital to my boyfriend's house with probably three other like civilians is like you're not doing your duty as a fucking nurse. It would be one thing if and still wrong, but it would be one thing if she was just like working a normal job and coming over. It's like the whole point. If you're doing if I'm doing my job quarantining and you just come in and erase it. It's like the whole point you're if you're doing if i'm doing my job quarantining and you just come in and erase it it's like well fuck off right but but if you're coming from a hospital that's insane to expect people to be cool i don't like when my parents go for walks let alone go treat covet 19 that's nuts i i feel like uh you could easily

the hospital thing makes it a lot easier to just say, listen, your girl comes from a fucking building infested with the disease right now. We're just not comfortable. Mm-hmm. And if they got a problem with that, then I don't know. I think you need a new roommate, bro. That's why I – with the last one, I was like, you can't have a blah, blah, blah. This one, I will pay for you not to be in this house which should

signal to that person by the way like alright I'm being an asshole these guys are willing to like pay out of pocket to get rid of me so I make a decision one way or the other go with her or cut it out first time long time here okay so bear with me on the story right now so my friend

has been talking to this guy that she met on a dating app for three months and they've just been messaging on Snapchat for three months. And she thinks that it's like a real relationship and she's like falling in love with this guy. And now he's using the quarantine as like an excuse not to see her. So me and my friends think obviously he's like probably talking to other girls. So I sort of learned the same dating app and then was kind of looking for him. So I set my location as his location and the age preference was like his age.

And within like five minutes minutes he matched with me and he starts messaging me and like flirting with me and like asking for pictures and everything so clearly he's a player so do i tell my friend that this guy is like a fuck boy or do i just let her think that she's in this weird relationship? I'm going to stand up for my guy here, first of all. Unless there's been, like, a conversation that's been had about, like, being exclusive or dating for real, he's not necessarily being a fuckboy. How long did they stay together? Three months?

Well, so this is the thing. They've been stay together three months well so this is the thing they've been they've been texting for three months it sounds like that girl is telling her girlfriends we're like together there's could be every chance in the world that this guy is like yeah that's a girl that i chat i i snapchat with who's cool but like we're not dating i've never even seen the girl before she's never seen her no No. I missed that part. Well, that's crazy. So, like, he's probably just like, yeah, I'm matching with other girls. I'm dating other girls.

This is one that I talk to every now and then, but I've never linked up with. That's not being a fuckboy or a player. Until that girl who was texting me says, like. People out here are texting for three months without ever texting. I mean, that is extreme. But I guess now, with the quarantine, I'm sure there's a lot of people who like started talking, haven't seen each other. But if this was like three months prior to that and now it sounds like it was a couple months and now he's able to be like, well, we can't get together. So maybe he's like playing that card.

But those girls only know the girl's version of the story. She might be like, we're dating. We have like this, this, this connection technologically and we're together. And he might be like, I don't know.

That's like the cute girl that I text with sometimes, but I'm, I'm single. Yeah. That's not, that's not a fuck boy or whatever it is. I don't, I don't really know the definition of fuck boy.

Just like, I don't know the definition of sim, but I don't think it is. Girl. I think, I think girls say fuck boy when they just don't like that a guy – what a guy does. And sometimes a guy is just – like if you're cheating, if you're lying, if you're blatantly doing disrespectful shit, fine. But just because a guy is like, I'm single and I'm going to see multiple people, it doesn't make him a fuckboy.

No. My question, my big question, this thing that stuck out to me in his voicemail, she said guys are asking for pictures night one. People are that brazen? People just go night one, let me get a titty pic? I mean, I feel like if you meet on an app, if you meet on like Tinder and you're

talking on Snapchat, you're going, can I get a pic? I don't think I'd ever ask for a picture. I don't, I think I'm, well, no, I think that there's a difference.

I think asking for pictures is, is aggressive, but I think that if you, if you meet under certain circumstances, I think it can be implied. Like this is what we're going to do. Yeah. The implication,

of course, but the, because of the implication, the, I don't think I, to a stranger, someone I've met on an app, And of course, the implication here. But the... Because of the implication. The... I don't think I... To a stranger, someone I've met on an app, I don't think I'd ever just be like... Yeah, but that's why you're not an app person. I mean, you don't do Tinder.

You're not on Snapchat. But the people who are out there on those things and meeting on those things... Night one being like, let me see a sidey. Come on. You see them flaps? You see... Those flappies? Let me see a sidey come on you see them flaps you see those flappies let me see that let me let me see the hang on let me see oh see if you can poop my toilet but yo by the way uh like the polar opposite what do we always say like don't get involved in people's shit the polar opposite of that is entrapment

on a dating app to set up your age and your location trying to like hope that you match gps with this guy you're getting way too involved in someone else's shit maybe they just like texting each other and maybe that one girl's a little bit like confused about what's going on who knows you don't know what the fuck's going on stay out of of it. Last voicemail, and we'll get into our interviews. What do we got? What's up, boys? It's Ronan from New Hampshire. I was just listening to the podcast with the 100-name debate.

With everything going on, if this breaks out into a civil war in the next couple months, what is going to be the two sides? Is it going to be like old versus young, Republican, Democrat, say inside, or the outside crew? What are going to be the two sides? Who's going to win, and what side are you going to take?

I mean, I feel like Republican and Democrat's been bubbling for quite a while. What's the question here? Is it Republican versus Democrats in a war? If a civil war breaks out, what will be the two sides? Is it going to be old versus young? People who stay inside versus outside? Democrat, Republican, North, South, East, West?

Wait, I'm still confused. Sorry. What do you think the two sides of the war will be? Oh, I see. I see. I see. Okay. Like you could say, you know know east coast is getting hit harder

and the west coast doesn't care about us so maybe we'll fight old people are dying young people don't care uh so that's the fight but i think i think that uh people who are inside and outside also lines up probably politically where it's like if you think this is a hoax you're probably republican and you're going outside and if you're taking it seriously you're you know stereotypically speaking um but i feel like the yeah i mean i feel like that's just the world i almost i almost wish there would be a political a democrat and republican it's like guys like just get out of your system just fucking punch each other in the face, and then let's be done with this. This has been bubbling, bubbling, bubbling. Everybody can kill each other, and then we'll be like,

whoa, whoa, that two-party thing. That got out of control. That escalated real fast. Let's go to the interview. Let's get to our interview. It's Matt Barnett from Love is Blind. If you watch Love is Blind, it is a phenomenon. It's Matt Barnett from Love is Blind. If you watch Love is Blind, it is a phenomenon.

It's an experiment. It's basically what a lot of people are doing right now in the world. It's spawned a lot of conversation. And a lot of people texted for three months basically living the Love is Blind life. So let's talk to Barnett now. It's brought to you by the Barstool Sports Store. Go get yourself a copy of Answer the Internet. It's the number one quarantine game on the market right now.

Go get your social distancing hoodies, your stay-at-home dad hats, and, of course, all the other Barstool gear, the Viva line, the fictional bar t-shirts, all that stuff. Store.barstoolsports.com. Let's talk to our boy, Barnett. We got Matt Barnett, one of the stars of Love is Blind, the biggest reality sensation of the year of Love is Blind, the biggest reality sensation of the year. What's going on, dude? You staying safe? You feeling good?

How are you? Oh, yeah. I'm staying safe. Trying to not go too crazy with things right now. I feel for... I knew a guy who... Well, I guess it's actually different because in my mind, you guys just got together, but it was actually two years ago, right? Yeah. I was thinking, man, you just got my mind, you guys just got together, but it was actually two years ago, right? Yeah. I was thinking, man, you just got married, and now you're quarantined together. But for you, this has been your life for a little while now, right? Yeah.

Well, not quarantined necessarily, but yeah. Yeah. I know a guy who just moved in with his girl a week before the quarantine hit. I was like, I hope you made the right call, dude, because there's no going back now. You're fucked. Yeah, there's going to be a lot of people that break up or get divorced after this shit. I have two friends who both just had kids, and I texted them both on Sunday just like,

first of all, it's so easy to be like the nice guy in quarantine. You're just like, hey, what's up? You just checking in? How you doing? And I'm going to wear the nice guy fucking badge forever after that. hey john remember to check in on us yep yeah seconds um but they both replied with the gift from a happy gilmore i've been like almost the same time with the get awesome yeah it's a wild wild world out there for relationships. But, I mean, the display that you guys put on for Love is Blind was fucking crazy. So the first question I got to ask you is what makes you even sign up for a show like that?

Dude, honestly, I don't even know. I was just in a place where I was willing to do anything just for, for whatever. I was kind of just enjoying my, my life as a single guy. And then I was like, I don't like it anymore. And,

and I, I guess I was like, Oh, maybe I'll get married after this. I don't know. Yes. I wasn't planning to get married. You know,

I wasn't like, like it was like a 1% chance I'll find somebody and get married after this. But it was like, the experience is going to be awesome. I mean, I don't know. I never thought about going on reality, really reality TV.

That's, but, but it popped into my inbox one day and I was just like, why not? I can't, I'm not a real hot or cold guy, huh? Like I'm tired of being single.

Let's do a range marriage. I just thought it would be a fun experience. I didn't think I'd marry anybody. I feel like the contestants or, I don't know, participants, the producers, I don't think anybody thought that there would be, what, like six marriages, at least, you know, on the table at first? There were eight proposals i think overall that's crazy out of you guys you're all crazy people right yeah no no i know i know i knew

that going into it like i think most people know i'm pretty crazy so yeah i mean i feel like they did a good job of kind of like everybody kind of had their own role like their stereotypical role if you will and I feel like you kind of were just to me like the the average normal dude like everything that you were going through or saying out loud or feeling I was kind of like been there yep uh-huh no offing and so I feel like you you represented for like the the normal guy who's just totally confused doesn't know what the fuck's going on and is just trying to like make it out alive. Dude, honestly, like I was so surprised on like how quickly people were like falling in love and shit. And I was like, what the fuck?

Like I'm still trying to date these people and figure out who I want to marry. It's like, do I even want to get married? Like who am I going to end up with after all this? And I was like, this is the person I'm going to marry. I'm like, what? Did that force you? Did that like,

uh, change your outlook? Like, do you think you ended up doing it because like other people were like driving you that way? No, I don't think that was what drove me to it. I think it was just,

you know, they, I was taking my time and I was waiting. Like I, I knew that there was a time, time limit on it. And if I was going to get engaged to somebody, I was taking my time and I was waiting. Like, I knew that there was a time, time limit on it. And if I was going to get engaged with somebody, I was like, I'm not going to sit here and, and, and, and jump into anything and not like we, we only have what, like, I think it was 10 days or whatever. And I'm like, I'm not going to sit here and not give everybody the same

opportunity and see kind of where my life would go with everybody. And I, I feel like people just like, if people had their people that they, they just clicked with them, that was the person they were set on for, for life. And I'm like,

I'm not, I'm not ready to do that yet. Like, yeah, I envy that, that ability to click with someone and be like, all right, that's it.

Cause we were saying before, I was like, if I, if I tell you I love you, you should lock me in a room and never let me meet anybody else ever again. Because I'm so easily influenced. I'm so quick to be like, well, hang on. I love it. Like right now, I'm in love with a television character. I don't know what, I don't

know where that's going to go. I might marry Zoe Kravitz. I'd like to explore that. But you just shouldn't let me watch or start treating me like a veal, like a cow. Just lock me in a dark room and only use me for what you need because I'm going to chase something else probably. Lock me in a dark room like a veal. Yeah, that's it.

Real healthy relationship. But it is true, though, in the modern world of dating apps and social media. And I feel like you used to meet a girl in your town get married that was your life and now it's like well i can find someone who probably is like down to the fucking tiniest degree my exact match so how do you uh how do you tell anybody to be like yeah this is the one i don't know i feel like there's like the whole mindset now is there's so many like fish in the sea right so that you you can you can you can find somebody that meets 90 of your criteria if there's someone out there that meets 91 or 95 and it's it's i get that i

get that movies right you know when you go you watch a movie and you're just like i am that lead character well i guess what i was i was john mcclain for a bit but i just saw indiana jones and that's who i am now right yeah i changed whichever the way the wind's blowing you know john wick is me so okay all right i love when it brings up john wick because john wick three they had the best action scene I've ever seen in my life. That dog scene with him and Halle Berry, not enough praise at all. Awesome.

I wish my dog could do that. Here's my dog biting dicks. So, when you watch it back, do you feel like you dodged a pretty big bullet there, Barnett? Oh, gosh. I don't want to say that I dodged a bullet, but I might have dodged something like that.

Maybe a really fast-thrown rock or something. Yeah, I mean, that was probably awkward for everyone to watch back, but I imagine more. Did I watch it? Yeah. Yeah, I watched the whole thing. A lot of things came out that I wasn't expecting, so I didn't know I was talked about so much behind closed doors or in interviews. You were a hot commodity, bro. You were a piece. bro you were you were a

piece yeah made me feel like it but try being a bit try being married to amber and then uh having that stuff that's why i asked if you watched it back because so like on our show we say a lot of dumb shit we blog crazy things we're usually like if you're dating someone it's probably best that they just don't even read it or get involved in it. And this it's different. Cause you're both involved. You're both going to watch. And I can't even imagine.

I think any girl usually is like, doesn't want to hear about your past. Doesn't want to know about any girl. Certainly not a, your wife. She seems pretty, uh, she's a firecracker.

And B when it was like, you were doing it simultaneously. You must've been watching that whole time. Like, Oh fuck, she seems pretty, she's a firecracker. And B, when it was like you were doing it simultaneously, you must have been watching that whole time like, oh, fuck. So what happened was the first five episodes when they came out, like we watched the first episode like five in the morning, the day they came out because we were so excited about it. And then me and Amber had our first date on that first episode. And then it was all me and Jessica that first episode.

And then I had to go to work. So I went to work and came home after she had watched the rest of the four episodes. And I was like, I was seriously in the doghouse for a second. Which is so unfair. But like that is very unfair. And I like I was like, I gotta watch all these because I only watched. I think I like maybe watched a couple at work. Don't tell anybody.

I only watched two episodes, and I was like, I'm so fucked. This is not good for me. I think that's the thing everyone does in a relationship where you're like, I'm going to binge alone, and I'll pretend I haven't seen it yet so I know what's coming so I can be prepared for what you're about to ask questions. You got to study when you binge with a real-life relationship. And when you're in it, when you're the fucking star of it, though. And you were, I mean, like you said, you were the focal point for sure.

I can't even imagine how that household was for a couple days, bro. You're like, you're. You know, after the first day, it actually calmed down. It was just like that first initial thing. It's like we talked through it. So the cool thing about the show is you guys didn't really get to see much of like our deep conversations and how we work through problems because that was kind of a big thing is like we were trying to work through every potential like obstacle we would overcome

and and like i think that gave us a good like foundation for us to figure out how to get through problems like this like jealousy and stuff like that. And yeah, I think after the first day, we talked through it and kind of figured out how we were going to handle it. And everything was pretty much good. I thought they did a great job of portraying. Well, I guess you could tell me if it was fair or not. But like when I was watching you go from like, I think I like this girl

to like, oh, wait, no, I think I like this girl. And I'm sorry, I don't really want to hurt you. But and it was like, you know, she's accusing you of like playing games or whatever. And it's like, I think most normal guys don't know what the fuck they're feeling. And it's like, we're not playing games. I don't know what the fuck I'm doing either. I just don't want to hurt you. I had no clue.

I had no clue. Like, I had never been in that situation before where I had like three girls. Like, well, it ended up being three that y'all saw but it was like i had three girls that were very interested in me i've never had that like in my real life where i have just like a posse of girls that are trying to get get married to me and i'm like what the fuck do i do here like i have no clue anybody that comes off thinking that they know what to do in that situation is a liar. 100% a liar. It's hard enough under normal circumstances to try to be like, all right, do I like you?

Do I not like you? Do I break up with you? Let alone under this crazy social experiment. I don't know how you kept your cool. You always saw me cry three times. I think I cried at least 10. social experiment i don't know how you fucking you kept your cool but uh i didn't you always saw me cry three times i think i cried like at least 10 there was some emo boy moments for sure every shower i took i just like sit there and just like start tearing up like what the fuck am i do you think do you think a lot of that came from like like would you have cried if there weren't

cameras and i'm not saying like you forced them but do you think like the added stress of being like holy shit this is all gonna be on netflix and like all that mess with it too dude i was i was very very stressed out like having cameras in your face for 19 hours a day 20 hours a day is very exhausting especially if you like you've never done it before i mean it's the first reality show like i've ever been on any show really and it's like you have these things in your face like there were literally times i was trying to like hide from the cameras and i get yelled at for like going back behind scene behind stage like trying to hide behind a wall or there was a pool table on the guy's side and i'd literally like lay under there just like trying to like get some sleep like because the

lights are so bright and there are cameras everywhere and i was just like get me away from this so i'd like cuddle up in the corner like i i get. Like his lights are so bright and there are cameras everywhere. And I was just like, get me away from this. I'd like cuddle up in the corner. I get anxiety when I'm at a bar and someone says, Hey, let's take a picture. Let alone like there are cameras going 20 hours straight recording. Watching like your game and,

and you're like how you act with girls and your most like vulnerable moments and shit like that. It's not even like, you know, yeah, I'm on a reality show and we're doing like competitions.'s like i'm on a reality show crying and talking about love and all that kind of shit that's fucking a lot right there yeah it's a lot like so i think i think initially like it started out as a game for me and it was kind of like fun to just try to like

flirt and do all that stuff and and then when it started getting emotional i started like not knowing what the hell was going on that That's kind of like life, right? It's like the first night at the bar. It's all good. Everyone's having fun. And then as soon as like emotions are involved, you're like, oh, shit, this is not what I wanted. Did you? I feel like you're you're like the normal one, right?

What do you mean? Like everyone else is pretty fucking crazy. I feel like you're like the normal guy. I think everyone's normal in their own sense, but like they're... I think that there were a couple people they cut out of the show because they were too normal. So that was my big question

is like the main thing I thought as a viewer, they probably... Like you're all pretty good looking people. You're all like in that spectrum. Like if that, that spectrum, like if that door had opened and Amber was like 350 pounds and bald with no teeth, like what happens then dude? Oh,

I at least get one gummer. Maybe. I don't know. I feel like that's something for some reason in relationships, guys have to deal with. Would you love me if I blank? The answer's always no. No.

Would you love me if I lost both arms? I don't want to feed you. That's a whole thing. No, I probably wouldn't if we're being honest. Yeah. Sorry, babe. I mean, yeah, I feel like you had to be pretty relieved when that door opened up, though. Dude, I think both me and Amber talked about it, and it was like, yeah, we would have at least gone to the vacation and gotten through that.

And, but like, yeah, it was going to be quits if you weren't like at least somewhat good looking. I feel like it's very shallow to say, but like, no, it's not,

no, it's not. It's totally fucking normal. Like physical attraction is the first and probably most important thing to start. That's how people choose to start. So it totally normal and especially if someone's like they i think that happens a lot with uh with like dating apps where people are like you show up and the person doesn't look at all like their picture and then like you're rude to leave like you were the liar

for misrepresenting yourself i'm not rude you were the one rude in the first place you didn't think you were hideous you used better looking pictures of you. You tricked me. It's all about the angle, man. It really is. You can do a lot with those angles. I've been there a couple times, though. Have you kept up with the rest of the cast?

Or are you guys kind of now on your own lives? I mean, yeah, for the most part. Especially the main ones that were doing all the press stuff. We were all really main ones that were doing all the press stuff. We were all really close when we were doing all the press stuff and talking pretty much every other day, if not every day, just about what's going on in their lives. But overall, we've all had this group chat that we kept in contact with that has gone to the side a little bit. But when the show is coming out, it's really good to catch up with people and see how people are reacting to it and stuff so i feel like the uh the world is kind of doing a little love is blind experiment right now like a lot of people a lot of people i mean yeah you can probably see them you're not totally blind

but there's probably a lot of people just texting and talking that like started out and we're planning to see each other that haven't you got any tips for the for the quarantine world doing loves blind uh the the real thing it depends on what they're looking for right they're looking for like love looking for marriage okay if they're looking for love then you know obviously avoid the physical part of it initially because i mean really that that helped get past like i've been in so many like i've dated so many people that like it starts off just physical and starts off just like looking at who they were and not really like looking deep down like hearing who they were as a person and i think that you know that's what you got to focus on

if you're looking to get married if you're not looking to get married and have fun, then do whatever. But, but really, I mean, you got to focus on like what your core values are, because really it's, it's hard to know who someone is without seeing their core values and being able to open that side of them up. Because like, I know initially, like it took me so long to open up and start telling people who I really was that like, you know know I feel like some people missed out so I love it I feel like you've become like people probably expect you to be this like fucking love doctor psycho analyst I don't know dude I just stood in a pod and I talked to a girl for a couple days I don't fucking know yeah yeah I mean that's really all it was

laughed all that good stuff like like live, laugh, love. That was how I got married. How's my boy Mark doing, though? There were so many times I wanted to, like, grab him through the screen and give him a fucking talk, like, you're 24. What are you even doing, dude? Run for the hills. I don't know.

He was my roommate. So when we were, like, in the was he was my he was my roommate so when we were like in the pod spot or pods like he was my roommate and uh we talk every night for like an hour after the day and just kind of discuss like what we were feeling who are we talking to like how wait a minute when when so you two are roommates and at one point jessica was like the focal point for both you guys yes i that that was a little awkward but i mean overall it was like the focal point for both you guys. Yes. That was a little awkward, but, I mean, overall, I feel like we talked through it.

He was trying to make sure that I was using my whole brain. I don't think that's more awkward. Like if me and John were in this and we're both going for the same girl and then he backed out and was on to another one I'd be like, well, why? What do you mean? See, I don't think so because that's some shit I feel like you did a lot

that's younger stuff you did I did that as a kid with elementary school like, oh, Mark, do you like Vanessa? Okay, fine, you can date Vanessa, I'll date so it's just a little more mature version of that I mean, mark's pretty mature for his uh for his age or when he was on the show for his age then um but i feel like there was obviously stuff that i didn't know was going on and i feel like he was um like innocent

or not not like really didn't know what to do in that situation. So yeah, I've, I've been the guy that he was and I've also been the Jessica in a relationship. So, you know, You've been the Jessica? I don't know if anyone's been the Jessica. That's one of a kind, bro. Like that, you know, not really that kind of thing. Yeah. All right. Well, I mean mean it was a uh a wildly

fascinating experiment that i i don't think the world thought did you expect it to be like this big that's what she said um no no uh sorry coming out no uh i don't think any any of us thought it would be this big like i think we had there were people that had talked about like how it was going to look for them like in like social media world and stuff and like like how they were going to like get you know 30 000 followers or something just from being on the reality show i was like i wasn't even like when i came into it i didn't even think about that i was like oh shit well you can tell that shit though you could tell that like some people were out for kind of the fame of it all, and then you were just your dopey self.

And now you're at a fucking million. Yeah. You played it right, because people actually wanted to follow you, as opposed to this is a social media vulture. Yeah. I don't think... I thought Married at First Sight.

It's a show that everybody watches, but there's a million people on it. And it's like, people don't know who I am, but it's not like I'm sitting there, like, answering direct messages 90 hours of the day. Like, oh, 46 out of 48 hours of the day. Is there a season two, by the way? Of Love is Blind? Yeah, are they doing it again? I think, yeah, they just sent out, like, a casting call, like the way? Of Love is Blind? Yeah. Are they doing it again? I think, yeah.

They just sent out a casting call right before the corona stuff started. And it was, I think it's in Chicago. Right, right, right. I saw that. Shout out to Nick Lachey and his wife, though. That was the easiest gig of all time. Dude, they were so much more involved than you guys got to see. I think there was so much going on.

They were on camera for, like, 25 seconds. They were helping me through, like, emotional stuff. Well, not they, but Nick. Nick was on the guy's side, and Vanessa was on the girl's side every day. How did they not show that? That would have been interesting. I would have liked to watch Nick, like, talk you through it. Dude, after every group of pod dates, like, you go and, like, talk to Nick

and see, like, how did your dates go for the day and stuff like that. And like, he'd talk you through like, like I was like, I'm juggling five women right now. I don't know what's going on. And he's like, look,

I remember 98 degrees. I've been there. I was doing that. But with Jessica Simpson, dude. Yeah. Yeah. Champagne problems.

Barnett. Remember that brother. Remember that. Yeah. That was, I was lucky, Iett. Remember that, brother. Remember that. Yeah, I was lucky, I guess. All right, man. We'll let you get back to – Before we let you go, you're a big Taylor Swift fan. Got to have your top five.

Top five what? Taylor Swift songs. Taylor Swift songs? That's so tough. So I'm not like – I was a huge fan of the red album red album yeah for sure like 22 like i like the stuff she did with ed sheeran yeah um shoot i do like i do like uh blank spaces a lot yeah that's that i mean that's like that's the automatic number one spot that's a class you're still working on that ukulele, bro? You playing any Taylor songs?

I'm not going to say I wasn't learning it to pick up chicks, but I will. I'll tell you something, Matt. I have a ukulele for the same reason that I don't know how to play. I thought I was the only person in the world who got a ukulele that they don't know how to play, and they just kind of fuck around with it a little bit. Same deal right here. See, I know how to it a little bit same deal right here see i i know how to play a little bit like like i knew some songs i just couldn't play them because it's they have to like licensing fees and shit so i was like i don't know what he saw i'm a musical genius too i'm just not allowed to

play sorry no i you can ask amber uh at our, I got super drunk after all the cameras left. And I got upstairs and started playing the piano. Like, I've never really played the piano in my life. And I started playing the piano. And she thought it was like one of those automatic playing pianos. You just got it like that, huh? I'm a drunk savant. Did you have sex your wedding night?

Yes. Loser! Loser! yeah no it was different dude it's it i i would ordinarily agree with you having sex on your wedding night big time loser move but when you just fucking basically met hung out for a little bit and you're just starting to get it in you got a party blackout not like you little dick can't come out to play on the wedding night. We had sex at the wedding venue. We had sex in the attic of the place where we got married. Like, the producer's, like, yelling for us, trying to find us. I think the worst part as a viewer was when everyone got together

and basically everyone was asking had they had sex yet or not. The people who hadn't, that's got it. Yeah, it kind of burns a little. If you're excited to see someone and then you're like, let's wait, surefire sign, you don't really like that person. I don't know. Come on! As soon as Jessica was like,

Mark, I'm not fucking you, dude. It was a wrap! Uh... I think everybody should have tried it. Just to get that out of the way. I feel like that's a big part of a relationship. Yeah. It can change all sorts of opinions. We'll let you run.

Thanks for the entertainment. Good luck with Amber. Thank you very much. Turn around and look at what you see in her face. The mirror of your dream. Make believe I'm everywhere.

Give it in the light. Written on the pages is the answer to a never-ending story. Ah, read the stars, not a fantasy Dream a dream And what you see will be Run the kingdom, secrets clear I'm both behind the clouds And there upon a rainbow is The answer to a never-ending story.

Story.