KFC Radio - Trevor Wallace and Angela White & Phoenix Marie || Feits is Taking Dance Lessons to Look Cooler at Concerts

Episode Date: November 21, 2023

Timecodes: 0:00 Start 02:43 You gotta schedule doctors appointments 2 months in advance 10:08 John wants to learn how to dance 16:55 Jubislide Video: https://www.tiktok.com/@jubi2fye/video/7179713920452529450 25:34 Complaint against Feits Grunting at the Gym 47:37 Video Voicemails 01:14:11 Trevor Wallace Interview 02:01:30 Angela White & Phoenix Marie +++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Stacker2: Go to https://Stacker2.com/Barstool for $5 off. Hello Fresh: Go to HelloFresh.com/kfcfree and use code kfcfree for FREE breakfast for life! Pirate Water: Go to https://drinkpiratewater.com to find Pirate Water in a location near you or order on gopuff BetterHelp: KFC Radio is sponsored by BetterHelp. Visit https://BetterHelp.com/KFC today to get 10% off your first month. Solo Stove: Run, don’t walk, to https://solostove.com to pick up the limited-edition Snoop Stove and join Snoop in going smokeless for good.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

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leading up to December 18th where two lucky winners will win $10,000 each. Be sure to enter for your chance to win on Instagram and go to Stacker2.com slash Barstool for $5 off. It's another edition of KFC Radio on slash barstool for $5 off. It's another edition of KFC Radio on the Barstool Sports Network Thanksgiving week. Today's mega episode. We're going to put a couple interviews out so that the gang can take some time off to be with their families.

So today we got Trevor Wallace on the show, who his new special just dropped. Good dude. Love that guy. He's a really good guy. and he has a great story, and I think he kind of gets the Matt Rife treatment in a way sometimes where people think he's like some frat boy or whatever, and it's like he's been doing comedy since he was old enough to even understand what comedy is,

and now he finally has his first big special. So shout out to him. And then we've got Angela White and Phoenix Marie. Yeah, that's quite a doozy. That is a doozy, dog. That was the first time in a KFC Radio interview I was kind of like, whoa. Whoa. Usually I'm just like, let's fucking go.

I was like whoa so uh getting back into the smut game with those ladies great time uh we'll get into our interviews and voicemails of course john's got a few things he doesn't know which direction to go with do uh abc and i will give you a letter assign them in your head or one two, or however you want to do it. Okay. Hang on. Oh, this is hard. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Wait. Okay. B. Great radio. Great video. I'm counting on my fingers. B will be... Fuck.

This is pressure. Other video. What do you mean? No. Hang on. Hang on. Just pick like a word that symbolizes each story. It's three different things. I have three different things in my head right now.

But it's... It's like I have the Pav story, the story about my phone, and the story about Pirate Water. And just go A, B, C to each of those. Okay. Okay. Are you fucking kidding me right now? No, it really isn't. You can't.

What's the third? Got it. Okay. Okay. D. You didn't say D. What? It's ABC.

B. Go B. Okay. All right. By the way, nobody knows. You can just tell whatever story you want. You goddamn asshole. This is – so I'm trying to schedule my annual physical. And I don't know if doctors are overbooked in New York or whatever,

or if it's just like I'm so blissfully unaware of how doctors work. I called the other day with like so proud of myself. That you're doing it? Yeah. Like I called and I was like, look at me, TCOB. I am getting ahead of this. Paid my rent. I'm talking to the doctor.

So I call up and I was like, hey, I'm looking to schedule an appointment with the doctor. It's like a physical. And they're like, okay, great. Let me check his next availability. And I said, no, no, no, no, no. Not next availability. I'm calling a little ahead of time. I got things kind of working pretty well here.

So anytime after November 23rd, actually, is what I'm looking for. And she went, okay. She's like, oh, we know. And she came back. When do you think the next availability was? Like six months away. February 8th. Yeah.

I was like, how on top of my game am I supposed to be? I thought two weeks ahead was like I'm king of the world. No, because you know what I think it is? I think doctors have like one day a week that's office day. Oh, really? I think a lot of them are like mailing it in, but also it's like this week is like I work on my literature. This week is I'm doing like some doctors have like a non-for-profit. Like I go up to the Bronx and do that.

And then like Tuesdays, I see people. So if you think about it like that, it's like there's four days a month that I'm in office. Or even if you say let's do office hours for two days. You still only have eight slots a month and then a couple people stack up you have a couple regulars you need to see monthly next thing you know it's like i'll maybe see you in the spring it's crazy dude i mean like i think that's the answer otherwise i don't fucking know like if we extrapolate that it took me 35 years to get to the point where i'm like i'll do two weeks ahead i'm never gonna i'm never

gonna get to that was two weeks and you need to be like two months that means like you need to double your yeah by the time you are 70 you might be on the right schedule for your doctor by the time i'm 70 i'll be in four weeks yeah i'll be four weeks oh right right right right yeah yeah no yeah yeah right 105 i'll be calling a month out. I'll be two months out. I'm never going to be prepared. Bro, if I could bottle up that confidence I had when the phone was ringing and be that confident at all times, I'd be a completely different person.

I was like, this woman is going to be flabbergasted. She's going to be like, oh, you're one of the good ones. We love people like you. I'm calling too. I thought it was like, yo, I'm on my way. Get ready to weigh me. You're going to weigh me and take some of my blood. How much time do I need to give advance for that?

That's like the guy that I fought with. He said there are people who have been waiting for an appointment for seven months. And I just said, no, they haven't. We're not talking about, you're not like a fucking cardiologist specialist. You're not like a cancer expert. You are like here to, you're a basement doctor. Basement doctors do not have seven months in advance. If you don't understand, like, you know, I can't even.

And this was like a, it's just like a regular, like it's just a regular thing like how yeah where that's a fucking slaughterhouse just come in maybe that's it maybe it's like you don't get precedent over like anybody if you're just doing the regular physical but who's going if it's an emergency you go to the hospital uh what are you doing other than doing physicals why don't you just go like city like CityMD? I don't know. This guy lets me live my life. Is this the basement guy for you too? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Right, right. That's maybe why though.

Sometimes those guys also are the guys who write things out for people. He takes care of me. He's like, dude, keep doing what you're doing. You're killing it. I'm like, beautiful. Love to hear that. Yeah, yeah.

Sometimes those guys have a line of people out the door because they are getting taken care of in one way or the other one way it's like he's giving me prescriptions or anything like that he's just like he's like yeah he doesn't bother you he's like great i'm like great dude we have a family friend uh it was a doctor and uh you know they cracked down and and i think he kind of retired but like he used to have a line out the door every single day. Was it Pill Farm? It was not like dangerous, but it was just like, yeah, you know, my presentation is tomorrow. I need some Xanax.

He'd be that guy. He'd be like, all right. And he, you know, would work. But I do think that guy was like once a week or whatever. I think it's that thing and it's like i you know it's you come in fucking hour after hour after hour after hour for that one day and it's like i i saw 12 of you we're good until next week whatever it's either that or doctors are just like the laziest most self-important people like ever yeah i can't possibly schedule more than this but you know it's like well you

know sometimes we are like you know people don't understand how much our job gets like backed up you know yeah it's like i don't know doctors are pretty fucking important it's hard to run a podcast schedule might be hard to run a medical practice that's fair i'm gonna say that you know but i compare it to like dentist dentistry i don't think i think dentists are like, let's go, baby. Yeah. I want to pull in the house. Yeah, right, right. I want to live next to Chris Rock.

Yeah, so that's – those industries are all fucking the Wild West. You've got to do whatever they want. Yeah. You've got to give them practice. You do insurance. You don't do insurance, money under the table, the whole nine.

Those guys, those are some of the biggest, you know, cheats and scumbags and all that shit in the whole world. They're taking a Hippocratic oath

to steal your money. Okay, story A. You forgot already. No, no, no, no. I haven't. I think I'm gonna take dance lessons.

Hmm. I think I'm gonna start taking dance lessons. What type of dance? I could, that's no, no. I haven't. I think I'm going to take dance lessons. I think I'm going to start taking dance lessons. What type of dance? That's the thing. Actually, I don't care what kind of dance. That's a huge thing, though. Like, I just want – Are you going to tap dance?

No, no, no, no. Are you going to ballroom dance? Maybe it doesn't matter. Actually, the – I don't know why I'm looking at padded pads. Do you know how to dance? No. Okay.

I know how to move, like, smoothly. Rhythm. Okay, that's what I'm looking –. Okay, that's what I want. Oh, you can't teach that, Bubba. You can't teach that? Sorry to hear that, Kimo Sabe. You are out of luck. No, you can teach that.

No, you cannot. That's like signing up for a basketball tutor and being like, make me athletic first. No, but you can get better. I just want to be – so this is the same day we're recording this, but earlier I was at the 1975 concert, and it's just like I just want to be able to be like – You want to do the hitch. Like just be able to move. I don't want to fucking dance out there, but I want to be able to be like – like, dude, I was bobbing like this, and again, I got the bad legs.

But like so I was like – By the way, I want to reiterate. You said this last episode. Reiterate again. Thank God you didn't have a woman with you. But I was like, I'm trying to go right now. Like, 19, 10. Is that bad?

Yeah. It's really bad. Terrible. Like, you look. Oh, I'm like a 19, 10. You wouldn't do that. You look like a dad doing disco. Honestly, if I saw you at that concert

with your legs that way, I would have been like, that guy is front row because he's special. He clearly has leg braces on. Body doesn't work. He's like, hey. It's like, I just want to get to a space where I can just move a little bit.

Like, again, the legs are a problem right now. It's the hedge thing, bro. It's like, you know, just. But even that, like, I can feel my head. By the way, I think you're overthinking it. You've got your, like, you've got your patented Feidelberg moves. Yeah, but those, like but they're not on beat. They're fine when I'm doing them and no music's on.

But when music's on, it's like, what is this guy doing? And I could feel my head just wasn't right. And then I just start thinking about it because I can only dance to the words. And I'm trying to focus in on the drums. I don't even know if that's the instrument I'm supposed to be focusing in on. And I'm trying to keep beat with the drums, but I don't know the beat of the drums. So I'm just like, I'm a mess. And then once I start thinking about it too much, it's all a mess.

And I just want to be able to hear music and just vibe. Why can't I do that? You're white. Yeah, but I get all that. But there's got to be a way. It's in your blood. It's in your blood to not get this. That's genuine. I will not be able to get rhythm. I don't think you do. There's got to be like a way. It's in your blood. It's in your blood to not get this. That's just, that's genuine.

Like I will not be able to get rhythm. I don't think so. That can't be right. That can't be. If I go to. I mean, I suppose if you were to like sit with someone. Camille Costa came in. She's like, I was going to say.

And if someone just drilled me like that. The ones and twos That's always a big thing White people seem to dance On the three and the four Not the one and the two Right I actually saw a video

I don't know what that means But I know it Harry Connick Jr. Had an audience That was so offbeat He like Dressed up his piano To blend it

So that the three and the four Became the one and the two I was like I'll do it for you You fucking assholes You're probably right If you got a dance instructor Who was like three and the four became the one and the two. I'll do it for you, you fucking assholes. You're probably right if you got a dance instructor who is like, one,

two, three, four, five, six, seven. If you just drill me on that, I gotta get it, right? Probably, but yes. I think that's a smart investment for me. I think it's a smart investment for anybody. Maybe it takes three lessons. Whatever, but

I just want to get to a level where I don't want to know like, but I think it's more investment for anybody. Just like, maybe it takes three lessons. Whatever. But like, I just want to get to a level where I don't want to know the cha-cha and stuff like that. I just want to get to a level where if music's on, I can move a little bit. It's not even dancing. It's just like, I want to be able to feel music.

My buddy has a code, if you will. It said three men, all men should be able to do three things. Shoot a code, if you will. It said all men should be able to do three things. Shoot a basketball, I think swing a golf club, and dance to some extent. Those are three things that you're going to need.

Your whole life, somebody will throw a basketball to you on the basketball court. You've got to be able to put up a jumper. Later in life, people are going to say, hey, we're going golfing. You should be able to do it. And you go to a wedding or something, you don't want to be the guy sitting in the corner. Everything else, you know, you can play football, great. But you don't have to worry about that in your life. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

All these other things don't really pop up. Those three things. And it's a meathead thing. He's a meathead. But it's a good code to live by. And I think being able to dance is an important one. And if you could learn it, you should. And what you're talking about probably is achievable yes uh yeah i think i think we're gonna do john learns the dance yeah like should

we go should we do some dance lessons i think i think some kind of radio outing a little like yeah let's let's put it out there let's do and pavs let's do, or it was more Jackie. Pavs, you get it on your plate. Jackie kind of handles the us. And I think, Jackie, as you're listening, while you're editing, this will be, maybe it's on stool scenes. Maybe it's a KC Radio thing, whatever. This has to be something that we do and we have, like, full editorial control over. We'll decide what goes out and what doesn't go out. No, I don't want editorial control. And then we'll submit it to Stool Scenes once it looks good.

I just want to get it. Okay. Well, it's funny you say that because I have a similar thing, but a much more specific and way more advanced dream, if you will. It's a dream. I desperately want to be able to do the Juby Slide. What's that? That's the one where it looks like you're floating.

They run. You know what I'm talking about? I saw the guy. They go in a circle. It's just a variation of the moonwalk, but it's a much better one than you've got to be able to do. I didn't think that was that impressive. Oh, it looks so fucking cool. It lookedwalk, but it's a much better one than you've got to be able to do. I didn't think that was that impressive. Oh, it looks so fucking cool.

It looked cool, but I wasn't like, people are like, what science is this? Yeah, I slow it down, and I still can't figure out what's going on. I look at it frame by frame, and I'm like, what part of you is on the ground right now? How are you doing this? I'd have to watch it. I've seen a few of the clips. Again, I think it was a Mississippi State player. You've got to watch the Asian guy. The Asian can watch it. I've seen a few of the clips. Again, I think it was a Mississippi State player. You got to watch the Asian guy. You can do it to the maximum.

That's the kind of stuff I like. I want to be able to break that out. People would be like, whoa, you know. Let's see this guy. That looks like he's not touching the ground. Yeah, yeah. It's insane. And that, I think, going forward is like the real, you know, backwards is the way it always goes. What? you know backwards is the way it always goes i i what i would rather

focus like teach me that professor you know and they're like listen there's like foundational groundwork like 10 000 steps before that no no just teach me this i'm paying you to just i don't want any other talent I don't want any other talent. I don't want any other, oh, I can do this dance, that dance for this occasion or that occasion. Just let me do that slide. That's all I want. But I think what you're talking about is attainable. Yeah.

Yeah. Just now, will you like, you can't teach like cool but you can teach like will you look good doing it I don't know you will look like I just want I just want to like like when you say you want to feel the music I don't know if people can teach you that

and they can teach you like 1, 2, 3, 4 and then I think from there I can teach myself to learn feel the music I need to know how to two three four and then i think from there i can teach myself to to learn feel the music okay i i need to know how to hear music hear beats and then from there because because i i think the part of i think that part i can do where it's just like i'm just vibing i don't really care what anyone thinks like like okay like that i i can that that's mental that i have checked as i can say

you do that i can yeah i can dance that. I can dance like nobody's watching. I don't care about that. I can have fun dancing without being able to read beats or hear beats. I feel like that's people's hang-up. It's like, I don't want to look dumb. I don't care about looking dumb. But I'd also like to just know what I'm doing. I'd like to do it properly.

Give the right respects to the dance gods and stuff like that. I'll dance dumb. I don't give a shit. Culture is not your costume. Okay. Maybe we'll have a stoolie. I'm sure there's a stoolie dance instructor. That's something I want to do on stool scenes

is do take a partner who you may not expect to duo. Like, do we have any dancers here? Like, if you want to dance at Marshall? Like, I'd like to go to dancing lessons with them. Like, I think a fun stool scene is almost like a... I've got a dance now.

Like, an odd couple? Yeah. Like, I pitched that before in meetings. I think that would be a cool weekly – Imagine if like Clemmer could like tear it up. That wouldn't surprise me to be honest. It would surprise me a little bit. Like an odd couple where you just go do the other person's thing.

Where like – I don't know. Maybe like Clemmer can dance. Clemmer can teach me to dance. I'll take Clemmer to the gym. And that's a little segment in school since that week. And then the next week, it's two other odd couple thing. I think that's a fun segment because I think that's an interesting thing. It was just like when you're doing something with someone who's truly passionate about it and truly likes it, it's fun.

It's entertaining and it's good because they really care about this and they like it and it's it makes them happy so like you're gonna feed off that energy and i think those two things i think a lot of stuff we do is typically warring yes and i think my input there was going to be it's it's not only is it uh infectious kind of to do something with something that's passionate but it's knowing that it's not going to be like a gotcha video yeah you know and like i'll look i'll look dumb right if we went to the gym with climate climate would look stupid but like like and i don't even know if the gym's the right thing it's just something i do daily so i say it but i don't i'm not passionate

about like i don't know what i'm doing like yeah i just like to do it it makes me feel good i'm not like very educated on anything like that um but but if it wasn't like hey you're gonna suck at this and we're gonna like zoom in on that part of it and embarrass you it's more like you there will be some goofy parts but it's more about the experience i think and it's also just you have to like like i'm fine looking dumb dancing i don't know how to do it but people like i can't look stupid you don't look so you don't know how to do it of course you look stupid but I can't look stupid. What do you mean you don't look stupid? You don't know how to do it. Of course you can look stupid. But it's harder. I do get people who are like, I don't want to just put myself out there looking stupid

and get made fun of. I mean, people don't like that. Yeah, but that's so dumb. I get that with people who are introverted, and we have some introverts here and stuff like that, but you work in a media company. You're at least a little bit extroverted. There's a part of you that's extroverted or at least understands that part of the brain. Got some of that fan base, though.

That'll be like, you can't dance, or you look stupid on this video. You know what I mean? It's a very silly thing, but I do think it's unfortunately a real thing. Well, I don't care about that. So if someone wants to come take me dancing, I'm going to go dancing. And I'm going to learn how to dance.

I think like anything else at Barstool, we could find about five people who would do it maybe. I don't want to do it. I don't want groups. I like the odd couple. That's what I mean. Like five people that would agree to do it. Really? With a couple.

Maybe not. Maybe I'm wrong. Really? With a couple. Maybe not. Maybe I'm wrong. We'll figure it out. I'm speaking that into existence. We're going to do it. I don't know if it will be in stool scenes or I'm going to. Francis will do it, I think. That would be good.

I like the odd couple video idea. Some bougie shit with Francis and you do something that makes him uncomfortable and then he would be down. Bob Fox would be down. But I just think it should be like, i think there's something that everyone will do i think there's like maybe maybe that's not your thing and i don't think it should be the same people every week like two new people every week and you know love it and this person with a new different person and like i i think you can there you can find something that you'd like i'm i'm kind of interested in that you're

passionate about it let's give it a try. Let's see what it's all about. I think I'm going to take Trent to a Broadway show. I talked about that. I texted with him about that. And I'd like to learn how to dance. I've kind of combined those two. That wasn't my thought when I started talking about learning how to dance.

But now I think it makes sense. I'm going to learn how to dance. I'm not going to become a dancer. I'm just going to learn how to dance. But now I think it makes sense. I'm going to learn how to dance. I'm not going to become a dancer. I'm just going to learn how to hear music. Right. I think we'll find plenty of instructors through our audience. Yeah. I'm a dance instructor.

I'm a this instructor or that instructor. Come to my place. There will be plenty of that. The holidays are right around the corner, and HelloFresh can help take the stress out of dinner by delivering everything you need to cook up to tasty meals right to your door, saving you tons of time. Actually, you want to know what stinks?

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Again, I hope my mom figures it out. But I will save HelloFresh. It's so easy if you're not going to be around that week to just skip the week. Go on the app, click the button click the button says skip week bam no hassle very easy it'll just my my meal will be here next week on time as usual uh you can go to hellofresh.com slash kfc free and use code kfc free for free breakfast for life that's for life one breakfast item per box while your subscription is active that's insane that you just eat a meal free you can just click knock out like i don't know 15 20 bucks whatever

breakfast costs 20 bucks a day just gone that's you have it that's free breakfast for life at hellofresh.com slash kfc free with code kfc. And my last one. Yeah. See, see, which kind of speaks to the gym thing. Is this a crazy thing that happened to me yesterday? I was leaving the gym and one of the guys at the front desk, like I see everyone a lot because I go every day. And so we,

I say hi, but like I wouldn't, I wouldn't know anyone's name or anything like that. Right. And the guy called me over and he's like, Hey man, come here, come here. And he like gave me like a thing for like 25 dollars

off something like that i don't know whatever i threw it away and and he's like it's free money i don't want it and he was like and yo by the way um just someone was complaining about like you're grunting and i was like i was and i was like i was like what Yo Lunk Alert over here Your boy's just growling at the gym And I was like what And he's like no I'm just playing with you And I was like oh I was gonna say like

I don't think I really grunt And he goes nah you do you do but no one's complaining And I was like oh so you're Complaining You're on the roller coaster back and forth. I mean, I'll tell you this. I definitively don't. Like it's something I'm conscious of.

And like maybe I make some noise once a year. Like maybe like I go like once a gym session. Like I'm certainly under no means i could see you being so uh so so self-conscious about it that you make sure you don't yeah i don't know man maybe you're lost in the music that you can't dance to bro i just listened to taylor swift no like like folklore like if you could hear what's in my headphones at the gym it would not make sense with what you're i'm saying you're lost in taylor to the point you might not realize i don't even know how to listen to it no i mean i make noise occasionally because i'm doing something strenuous but i am definitively

not i because grunters annoy me so much i'm to fit my entire job every day is to make sure other people don't like notice me or hear me yeah yeah yeah i was like i that's my life mantra is like when i'm in public i want to be invisible yeah uh but i was like like why don't you just say it then dude when he's like no no you do you do i was like okay so you there there has been a complaint filed it was just in your own head and now like yeah i got i got this call. From who? From me. Man, I would have loved you to have a grunt problem.

Lunk alert, Feidelberg over here. I also don't... I think that's kind of bullshit, to be honest. If you are over the top, sure. If you're screaming. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You should be able to make i'm lifting a heavy thing i'm making a little noise you are like it's hard and especially

i don't know i i've seen i've watched guys who are trying to like max out and do their personal best and stuff they have a little bit of a routine to get pumped and shit and i get you're in a public place but also you're in a public place yeah so. So it's like, of all things, when you are like caveman lifting shit, it's got to be quiet or, you know. I get it. Again, extremes, fine. But if, you know,

if someone is like, like, I don't know, fucking getting the lifting or everything. On my last set, maybe occasionally I do that. Right. If you're sitting there, okay, fine. But if there is some dude putting up like 300 pounds and he's like, you know, arms are wobbling and some guy's like, come on, come on, come on, you got this.

And he goes, ah, like that should be part of the gym to me. Right. I completely agree with that. Or you do need to do whatever that, you know, Planet Fitness or whoever it is that's like we separate. The quiet zone. Yeah. Then that's fine. If you're doing yoga, I get that you might not want that.

But then don't do yoga in the fucking room where there's weights. So. Now that I'm talking about it, I hadn't even really thought about it that much. Like, I want to go to a new gym. And now I'm going to be self-conscious the whole time there. I would go to that gym now and look at him and go, ah! Ah! Is this what you're fucking talking about?

I was telling you I joined a gym one day, and I got to get a new gym too after one day. Why? I got – so I joined the gym about an hour later. I got a text like, hey, come in whenever for your orientation. Let's do Monday morning, blah, blah, blah. I go in. Bro, you did your orientation? What the fuck is orientation? I didn't know what it was.

Dude, that's rookie gym ball right there, dude. Because I've always rather had a gym or like – They're like, yeah, like you do one. Now, if you want a personal trainer, yeah. And so like I just can't say no. And then I'm like trying to drop like all the like lifting knowledge that I know. I'm trying to say like play college sports. I've been doing it with push-pull over the past couple months.

Just like dropping anything I have. He wasn't buying any of it. It was like the most packed gym of all time. He just had to baby me through every single push-ups. It was so embarrassing. And then when it comes time for the end of the orientation, he pulls out the pamphlet with all the packages. And it just sat in between us for 20 minutes

until I finally was like, yeah, okay, I'm going to go. He's been texting me ever since, so I got to get a new gym. Dude, they tried to. That's so annoying. So annoying. I had like 100 voicemails from them when I first started because it was just like trying to get your orientation. I was like, I've been coming for four months now.

I don't need an orientation. You don't. It is. I finally answered. I was like, I'm not interested in this. I thought he was going to show me where the showers were. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Here's where you need this.

Here's where you need that. No, they're trying to fucking sell you on that shit. That is awful. Ugh. Man, I haven't signed up for a gym in so long.

So long. I did a couple sessions with this guy, Mark DeSalvovo who's like a stoolie and he um just has like a small gym like in his like in the workspace yeah yeah it was like private sessions something like that but uh that was my version of your dancing where i was like just give me like a routine that like you know here's what i injured here's what i can't do here's what like i want to avoid and then he just gave me a routine um and i just never did it nate nate's been trying to get me to split a uh personal trainer with him i mean i guess that you know personal trainers can train

old women all the way up. Yeah. But it's very funny to think of that. Like, that's an odd couple. Go to the gym with Nate. I was like, dude, just to be honest, we probably have different goals. Not even different goals, but we probably want to do different shit when we're in the gym. Like, you and I probably don't have similar. Are you saying, like, in the gym at the same time? Yeah. I was like, i probably don't have similar like like he's in the gym at the same time yeah i was like i was like we probably like wouldn't have i don't think i'd enjoy doing your workout

i don't think you'd enjoy doing mine so it doesn't really make a ton of sense yeah bro unless nate is hiding some spider powers i don't know about that he got bit by a fucking radioactive spider i thought it was even still i wouldn't do this but i thought it would be like hey i like to go to the gym monday wednesday friday you go tuesday thursday like we'll split this guy yeah we'll buy no i think it was like one sessions and you get 10 and i get 10 going together is crazy yeah i like particularly the gym for me is like very like i don't look at my phone during right i don't i i i've thought about like the only way i really go to the gym the one time i really went to the gym as an adult was when i went with my brother and i had like someone to go

with and i've thought about like i won't work out and when i'm at home my parents house i won't work out in the gym if my family members in there there. Yeah. So I remember thinking, like, maybe I should try to do some workout shit with fights. And I was like, no, we're not going to do that. Because I don't really want it either. But I know that I don't think you would want that either. And if we were to do it, it's like, how would that work? You know what I mean? If we were to literally work.

Like, if you're just like side by side, I think it's weird, but whatever. If we were like work together, it's like, all right, take all the fucking plates off of Kevin. Right.

Put all the, it's a workout to even get the fucking machines. In college. We, I had a workout buddy in college and one of our roommates tried to start coming with us and we have to be like, dude, you can't come with us.

Yeah. Like it doesn't like, it's, it's, it's nice to have like the buddy, like pretty much like college spotter. It's like's like like we'll just we do the same weight i'll go while you get your breasts it's like it doesn't really add time to the workout because if you're like two fucking carbon copies of each other right it's just like bang and and then we had like one other

kid coming i was like dude you're adding an hour onto the gym for us. We're like, take all the weights off. You struggle. He was annoying too. He'd get like... Dude, just shut up and lift the fucking weight and let's go. And if you can't, that's fine, but don't do it with the... It's like, you would never do that with anything else. You would never... You'd catch him like

flexing in the mirror. Oh, fuck it. It's so skinny. Get the fuck in. It was so annoying. You would never go to the gym, the basketball gym, and run with the big dogs who play every day. Yeah. And be like, all right, here we go. Raindrops!

It would be like, you are ruining this for the people who do it all the time. And it's like, that lack of awareness is incomprehensible to me. I just could never even imagine being that person. what don't you get about this it's fucking insane that you think we should do this together yeah it's like it's like trying to teach a kid something where you're like it's it's just easier if i just do it yeah like i'll just do it myself yeah and like now nate though should should know that i i get where because i also part of me does want to do it because like – Having the – I think it would be good for Nate, like not just physically, mentally.

I think it would be good. I think it would be good for anybody. But like I think he should do it. And if I'm the only one who will do it – With him. If I'm the only way he'll do it, then I should do it. And I probably will. He's asked me once.

I think if he asks me again, I'll probably do it. The Feidelberg paradox. I will do anything if you... I will agree. So good. Well, yeah, I mean, have fun with it. You might ask me me twice maybe it'll be three times if you ask me one more time however many times it's been i'll do it kfc radio is sponsored by better help

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That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash KFC. What do you do when you go to the gym? Give the people your routine. I just follow a Corey G plan. That's a good goal. It works. Whatever he does, it works.

Yeah. Yesterday, I ran a quarter mile. Not far. No, actually, yesterday I didn't do that because of my legs. I'm not going to take something from my routine. That's boring for you. Running is fucking. Running is out.

Running is for the birds. It is. Dude, I got to lose weight. I put on too much weight. That's all diet, though, bro. Yeah, I know. But I eat so much at night that I think I have to do some kind of cardio. I've been putting off cardio for a year now, and I just have to.

Cardio sucks so much dick. It's actually, I get the, this is another thing in talking to Nate where it's like, I think you're probably similar, but you're like, I just genuinely don't like it. Don't like it. Like, I like lifting weights. Yeah, I wish I did. I don't like any of it. But I feel what you feel with cardio.

I don't like doing that. So I'm like, I'm lucky, I guess, that I have at least wish I did. I don't like any of it. But I feel what you feel with cardio. I don't like doing that. So I'm lucky, I guess, that I have at least weights I like because I – it's just like a real – I don't like that. I don't want to do that. I don't like the feeling in my chest. I don't like the feeling in my legs. When people are like, I like the burn, I don't like the burn. The sense of accomplishment is anything in life. Like, okay, I did something good.

Fine. But there's no extra thing for me of like – like the marathon thing will always be completely foreign to me. I do not – I will never be like, wow, I ran that amount of miles. That does nothing for me. Nothing. I get it to an extent. I guess I can get it for other people.

It would just do nothing to me. But when we do something, you feel accomplished, right? It feels good. It's just that you have other goals, and that's fine. Yeah, but I'm just saying that also is not specific to working out. Yes, doing something good for my body, I will always be like, okay, it's good that I did that. But it does not get me going. But I didn't even mean body goals.

I just meant other goals in life that you accomplish. You know, that feels good. For sure. Yeah. For sure. That I understand. I wish it was more. I mean, like if I, you know, the way I do content, that's my thing.

I go after. You know, I'll do, I'll go home and make like a bunch of videos, you know, where it's like other people probably like, I'm going to go lift those weights. I'm just like, I do this instead. But, you know, I wish I had that runner's high or I wish I had the burn. I love the, you know, I just don't. I never had. Even when I was athletic and playing sports, like I hated practice.

I hated training. I liked the game. Yeah. But the rest of it, oh, fucking thank you. I wish I could go, and this isn't a unique worldview, but I wish I could go back.

Just because, I don't know. I was actually thinking about it the other day watching hockey where I was like, I understand the game so much more now. And if I could have my brain in my

middle school body, my high school body, I think it's just because it's part of you're good at the kids. You want to be the goal scorer and you want to be this and that. I wasn't a great goal scorer. I was good at very good at other things.

But I still just wanted to be a goal scorer. And I was good at very good at other things. And I like – but I still just wanted to be a goal scorer. Yeah. And I was like – now watching, I'm like, dude, not my favorite players aren't the goal scorers. I'm like, dude, fucking Lauco is out there just like a fucking – plays like his hair is on fire. You know in the corner he's coming out with the puck. And like those little things, I could never see the connection

of like how winning that puck back to the point, gets it over here, gets it over there, and that gets the goal. Just as important as the goal. Yeah, I couldn't get that. It's none of the glory. And I didn't think face-offs mattered. Who gives a fuck? I'll just go get the puck from him if he wins. Go get him down.

I didn't think where the battle won and how. I see it much clearer. And I actually think part of that is in watching soccer. It's helped me see hockey better. Because you see how the whole field how the whole play takes the whole field and how they march up and i'm just like i like you so fast sometimes that i'm just like yeah i think as a kid like i just saw it's like chaos yeah and soccer it's happening slower but it's happening similar yeah and i like see now. Particularly in the last three years, I'm like, I see the game. I can see it happening.

Totally. And I wish I could fucking put that knowledge into my head and the ability I had where it's like, you can excel here without being on the stat sheet and this and that. I actually think I wish the opposite for myself. When I played, I was like, make the extra pass, take the charge, dive on the floor for the ball, play good defense. And I was like, I would never take the amount of shots I should. I was always like, almost like team to a fault.

And not that I was like that good where it was like I wasted talent. But more like fuck it like have fun yeah i mean like that but i'm not saying this is like oh if you if i had this then i could have been something that's not at all what i'm saying i my hockey career topped out exactly where it should have no matter what but like i think i would have had more fun knowing yeah like this man yeah yeah i did something there like yeah I'm on the scoreboard if I did something to get the cup of the cup I got no joy out of that

I was like oh he scored and like well no I should have realized this led to that but I'm on the other side where it was like I had joy out of my team scoring obviously but not personal I was on the other side where it was like I did do the stuff that coaches would praise.

But it's nice to have some of the glory too. You can do a bunch of shit. Our rule is always like if you take a charge, you don't have to do sprints the next day. And I would let dudes fucking run me over. You just hated sprints that much? Yeah, that was probably the real motivation for it. But I – it's probably why my body is so fucking hurt to this day. But I like – I would – I'd be like, I'm just going to get to the spot before you.

And like – it's like, okay, here we go. I was a high school kid. A couple times I remember getting barreled over, you know, like, holy shit. For the most part, it's like a football hit. And I remember, like, a coach saying – my sophomore year of high school was, like, my best basketball year. I remember my coach saying something like, yelling at the team. And he was like, you know, if I had five of him on the court right now, like we wouldn't have this problem or something.

Cause I did play with passion and I like listened to all that. But sometimes I wish I was just like fucking chucking. You know what I mean? I'm going to make it rain and probably wouldn't work, but I'd be like, I don't know whatever about here is playing ball. Like no one's going to remember me diving on the floor for the loose ball. Try to,

try to hit the game winner. Once a chance, you know, I think it's's a good i go back and forth on like like especially having kids now i'm like i want them to play sports i want them to be good at sports and part of me wants to even say to them this is it for you so like take it seriously like you're gonna miss it one day yeah like don't blow off practice or don't whatever because there's no more organized sports after this, maybe here and there, but nothing really. So if you want to try to win a championship

or be a team or a star, now is the time to do it. And then there's the other part of me that's like, I hate watching how serious some people get. I'm just like, I don't know. You're just here to have fun. So if you're not having fun stop you're not having fun like you know my thing is very much if you're not having fun don't do it but then it's like no this is teaching you how to cooperate and be a team and be a part of something bigger and listen to authority so you have to do it but part of me is also like you know the amount of kids I see who like, don't like baseball and their dads are just forcing them to play.

Yeah. You know? And I guess at that level, you're like, you got to try everything and figure it out. But I'm like, this kid is clearly not good at this, not into this.

I probably would love to be doing something else. Go do that. I get making, I think, I think I get forcing a season. Yeah. You gotta try something. You're in year three of forcing them. Right. What are we doing here? But if I think, I think I get forcing a season. Yeah. You gotta try something. You're in year three of forcing him.

Right. What are we doing here? But like, if we signed up for a year, you're gonna do a year and then we can figure it out. You got kids who are like swinging the bat like an ax

up and down, you know? And it's like, you're not even close. But I don't know. Maybe that dude could fucking paint a picture. That's amazing.

But you're never even gonna find that out because you're just like, I played baseball. You're going to play baseball. We all play baseball. Stupid. Let's get into the voicemails. Let's do it. Let's go.

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KFC fights. Jackie, sup? I got one for you regarding my upcoming wedding. Well, so I'm getting proposed, proposing in two and a half weeks. And so I spoke to my girlfriend's mother. I hope it's not a secret. Her stepmother, who's like, we all know she's a bitch um she's like exiled from the rest of the family it's crazy but um immediately not so much congratulatory

she started bringing up the finances of it and it seems like i'm not familiar with this stuff uh because i've never done it uh but like the you But the bride's family pays. I don't really care about that. I have money. I'm fine paying for it on my own. But if they're going to give so little. And my girlfriend, she wants this storybook fucking wedding. What I'm thinking is, what would you guys rather do?

Would you rather have just a small, intimate wedding and then have money to, you know, buy a house? Or would you rather spend your own money, go into some debt, have that big ass wedding, but then, you know, to make her happy, but then be kind of struggling? And just to clarify, if you have any advice to make that small wedding like the storybook romantic type deal i'm all here for it also by the way i don't know when when you guys started doing these videos i'm fucking hung over it's my day off um but uh kfc thanks for the love and the insta dms you're the man bro um and uh yeah let me let me know what you guys think real life situation here.

And figure out how to come to my guys. Much love, guys. I mean, I think wedding culture is legit out of control and one of the worst things that we do. I really genuinely feel that way. And it's crazy to me. You said going to debt?

Yeah. Going to debt for a wedding is bonkers and i 1 000 billion trillion percent advise against that uh going going all in for a wedding and like you want it to be the best party the best time in a storybook i can't knock it i mean i can knock it i will knock it but i also understand that there are people who like you know more stereotypically women but sometimes couples are just like this is it we love this we want it to be so big and memorable if you can you know don't i'm not gonna yuck their yum yeah but if you're gonna turn around next the you know

the next calendar year and be upset you don't have a down payment or you're gonna complain about the money the whole time or you know all that shit it's like well then i wouldn't do it you know i mean it was such a burden in my life where it was like it was consuming and it was all that was talked about and then it was complaining about and i was like i don't want any of this so like um you know we could scrap this whole fucking thing right now i wouldn't care you know so you got to make sure whatever you decide you got to make sure you're on the same page because if you're on the opposites you are in trouble um so i would i would take the money for a house or more importantly because taking the money for the house is a little bit like

that's what your father says you know so i get it take the money for the house is a little bit like that's what your father says you know so i get it take the money for your honeymoon that is cool i would much rather you know keep change the cocktail hour save some money on some centerpieces don't do the best photographer and put like another 10 or 20 or however much thousand dollars into your honeymoon that's the memories that's fuck all these other people i mean really when you break it down when you think about what it is you're paying you know around here people pay like six figures and hundreds of dollars a plate if you were to just plan another event and let's call it 30 maybe even higher percent of the people are like people you don't really like don't really know yeah people you feel you have to invite if it

was just to be like yo i'm throwing a house party i need food i need booze i need this i need that and like upwards of half the cost was for people i don't know or whatever you'd be like i'm not doing this i'm inviting those people. Weddings is different with families and shit. But when you realize you're paying hundreds of dollars a plate and a lot of those plates are people you don't like or need or want, it's like, why? What are you doing here?

The four most beautiful weddings I've ever been to, all backyard weddings. Yep. It's my sister, these two girls, I'm friends with their sisters, and my friend's sister. If I ever do it again, I'm just outside in the backyard.

Or a beach or something. And I can't speak to what the prices were for them, but they definitely didn't have to rent a hall. Sure it was cheaper. But I think it was a tent and obviously dinner and the same band was it all of them by the way i learned that fairly recently wow um and uh that was just good music fairly you know they weren't tiny weddings one was one was small but like the other three were man i don't know 100 150 people like this maybe maybe 200 and like they're bigger

weddings but the i i would take you know one of them my friend's sister they had a hall rented in like this big beautiful place and then a month before their wedding the hall reached out i was like by the way we closed our doors last year. And they're like, what are you talking about? And we forgot to tell you, we're closed. It might have been two weeks before. It was like, right before. What do you mean it's closed? Weren't they like paying

as they went? I don't know how that worked. But it was a very quick thing where they were like, fuck, we'll just do it in the backyard. And they got a the backyard and they got a small tent they got Christmas lights

and you know it's like out in the woods in Little Compton, Rhode Island so like there is a charm to it yeah like a cozy

yeah it's probably a late September early October wedding that like it was but it was like it was perfect

it was fucking just like long they were that was a smaller wedding so there were probably two long tables two really long tables and it was perfect. It was fucking just like long – that was the smaller wedding. So there were probably two long tables, two really long tables. And it was probably like 50 to 100 people. And it was a blast. It was awesome.

So I would – again, I can't speak to the prices. I don't know what they all cost. But I would imagine a backyard wedding is cheaper. All the best weddings I've been to are backyard weddings. And I mean I know – it's like if you have like, let's say you have 20 friends, right? And you want to give them plus ones. And then she has 20 friends and that's plus ones. And each got like 20 family members.

A lot of them gets plus ones right away. It's like, bam, there's like 150 people. Yeah. It's very hard. It's harder than it seems to cut down on a list, especially when it's like, well, I have to invite my boss. Well, I have to invite my boss. And then it does spiral. But, man, if you could keep that list down, in hindsight, it's like some of the people there, it's just crazy.

We are all just putting on this fucking charade that is not necessary. But, yeah, I think that's for sure the way to go is the beach, the backyard, something easy peasy, cool, pretty, and you're done. What's up, KFC fights, the whole crew. Ultimately on my way home, driving from a long day of work and listening to barstool radio and the clip of john or out of order about mcdonald's was the ad that you know they didn't let you run the skit and you guys mentioned just that you could probably say anything you want about mcdonald's and people are still gonna go and matter of fact i'm on my way there because

my wife wants it as a late night, and you can say whatever you want. I'm still going. It didn't matter. Well, that made me think, what is a company that is untouchable like that? Ultimately, I think Starbucks even had something with the Red Cup or the Holiday Cups at one time. You had Bud Light, took a little dip with their marketing. I feel like even Nike at one point with Tiger Woods stuff,

what is another company that is probably untouchable like McDonald's? Viva. I mean, there's a million of these. Just the titans of industry. I almost wonder what happens when you get that big? How do you even set goals? It's like, who fucking cares? I guess the goal becomes,

we need to merge with Disney this year and make a $13 billion merger. I always remember the Netflix guy being like, our competitor is sleep. Yeah, right. Your competitor is just human necessity right you're not fighting anything anymore that's like you're truly looking for a villain now to be fair i think sleep is kicking netflix's ass now and a lot of other companies are netflix is the one where i'm like

i don't even really netflix it's it's like prime's my go-to it's gonna say if you have to pick one now i remember we did that we did a top five a while ago and i i think uh we had like netflix number one probably at the time and it's like not anymore uh prime is it amazon's just gonna take over the world yeah that's what i mean they have everything i'm also in movie mode right now like i shift a lot i uh tv's different movies i'm currently in movie mode like every night i'm just watching a movie i don't know what i'm gonna watch but i i'm like i'm gonna it's gonna be on prime i don't know if i can't find anything on prime then i'll switch over to hbo maybe but like i because i'm in movie mode netflix is not on the list right there yeah not at all prime though is just like amazon is like

we did books now we do consumer goods we do entertainment. They will continue to crush football. We'll just get more and more sports. They will just do everything because once you're that big, it's like just apply our technology and our work ethic or our work vision. Most importantly, your money.

You come to the table with a thousand chips. Well, I'm all in. Alright, I fold. Yeah. I mean, you know, even seeing, like, Apple did it. It wasn't Amazon. But, like, the fact that Flower of the Moving Sun is, like, available on Apple, like, already. You know what I mean?

Oh, is it? Yeah, it was, like, I think, like, last week. I didn't know that. I know that, too. Yeah, I think. I'm pretty sure. I know Apple produced it. I didn't know it was already on Apple.

And I think they were like, yeah, we'll give you, like, you like, two weeks in the theater, and then it's fucking on that thing. So, and I'm sure if, you know, I'm sure if Bezos is like, I want to create an original series, and they're like, well, you know, HBO is kicking our ass. It's like, well, here's a billion dollars to go get, you know, the best fucking actor or whatever. It's like, you can just buy your way into anything. But they're like, everything I'm wearing, not new balance i don't think like everything i do like i i wish not even i'm saying like i wish like i know the bad things about it and i wish it didn't happen but like i don't know i'm kind of i have to participate in society like i wish they didn't have fucking suicide nets at the Apple factory. Oh, yeah.

I know the bad things about our companies. I wish the mom and pops of the world but it's just not how it works. Society's a problem, but I have to participate in it. Yeah, and it's so it's like Amazon will get this here tomorrow. One day shipping is like

and that's even getting shorter and shorter. It's like... Thank you, Amazon. Thank you, Amazon. Thank you for everything, Bezos. Headphones. Because you've been stealing my headphones. I have not been stealing your headphones. I actually donated a pair of headphones to you.

Bro, I'm going to tell you something. I'd only tell you this in front of a microphone. I watched you take them. But I brought my headphones in. We were in the green room. I was like, Kevin, just take my headphones. Because we had the camera on. And then we were walking out yesterday.

And I was like, I'll just get a new pair. And I had Amazon. And then they just came already. So I was like. You're telling me that you know for a fact. Yes. Because I put my headphones on that table. So then where did. You're telling me that you know for a fact. Yes. Because I put my headphones on that table. So then where did my headphones go?

I don't know. I don't know the answer to that. Because I came in and I was listening to music on this table. And I took them out and I left them there. And then I came in to take them out and you're like, those are my headphones. I was like, I don't know who they are. They were definitely mine. But the camera, we were having a meeting, and we were in the green room,

and it was just the camera was on and hearing you. And I didn't catch it, but other people did. You broke your fork and just started eating it with a broken fork. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When you came in and said that, I was like, Jesus Christ, I don't know what I've been doing. Picking my nose, fucking scratching my ass. Who knows?

Yeah, it broke in half, and then it went under the thing, and I just had a little nub left. I didn't see it. I think everyone was largely focused on the meeting, but every time we looked up, it was just – Why is that even a thing, though? I don't know. So guests, people who come with the guests can watch in the green room. But that shouldn't go on. That should stop.

It should start the second their client starts talking. It should turn off the second their client stops talking. It's not on a – it's no volume, but like, I don't know. Somebody comes in here and they're crying. Somebody's on the phone. Somebody is talking that they – you didn't think would talk to. I don't know. There's a million things.

You should not be spying on people. I would like to have comfort and privacy. When I close the door to a room and I think I'm – now obviously in here it's a little different because I know there are microphones and headphones and cameras. But I like a little privacy sometimes. Yeah. For no reason. It's like you don't get privacy when you're on.

It's just a feeling of relaxation. I can relax. No one's looking at me right now. Right. I can eat my fuck. Yeah, I can break my fork and eat it off the ground. No matter what, when you're alone, even if you're doing nothing wrong, you're going to be a little bit weirder.

Yeah. Yeah, right. You're not thinking about anything. Yeah. That's why i don't like any of the ring cameras and the nest cameras it's like and then it's like well why what are you hiding and it's like nothing but like i don't know weird shit sometimes i sing a song sometimes i do something i just dance in front of the fridge i do something you know i don't know i just want

i want to be able to be me yeah fuck out here. Do you guys talk to yourself at all? I never speak out loud. I think that's kind of crazy. No. I'll do it just to make myself laugh. Like, I'm not honestly doing it. Like, I'll be like, whoop, time to get up. Totally alone?

Yeah. That's crazy. Not regular. Not with any regularity or anything like that, but it's very rare. It's basically if I just need to laugh. How much do you laugh when you're alone at a show or a thing? Not a ton. Yeah, it's so funny. It's like if I watch a stand-up, I will be like, that was so fucking funny.

But if I was with somebody watching it, I'd be laughing and cackling and shit. But that initial reaction alone is just like, that joke was stupendous. Have you guys heard? Last week, the West Coast legend himself, Snoop Dogg, announced that he is done with smoke. It's over. He's eliminating it. How could it be that the Doggfather, who once famously urged us to smoke every day, could be going smokeless? Well, we learned this week, as it turns out, that he is going smokeless, but not in the way you think.

He's actually joining forces with the makers of the world's most popular smokeless fire pits, Solo Stove, and has even been coined the official smokes person. It wouldn't be Snoop if he didn't drop it like it's hot. Which is exactly what he's doing with the Snoop stove. The Snoop stove. A limited edition bonfire pit. Designed by Snoop himself. Each custom fire pit with a going smokeless bucket hat. And limited run of stickers. Can someone in the studio please order one for me before they sell out. Because I need a going smokeless bucket hat. And a limited run of stickers. Can someone in the studio please order one for me before they sell out?

Because I need a going smokeless bucket hat and a limited run of stickers. And I guess I could take an extra solo stove, but I already have one. And they're unbelievable. I keep it at my parents' house because I can't really do many stoves here in New York. But every winter, every summer, it doesn't matter. Having the Solo Stove fire pit out in the backyard by the pool is perfection. So run, don't walk to solostove.com and pick up the limited edition pit and join Snoop in the going smokeless for good. To wrap up here, we can do my email.

Is this an email someone sent to you someone sent to you yes like old school like emailed my at barstool sports email like we used to do subject line and everything it's like that used to be like how we got everything yeah i have not checked my email for content in a long time this guy brandon emailed me 8 a.m too bro by the way speaking email i got an email from billy football's high school coach i don't know how i got it because it's like two kfc radio and i think it's addressed to kfc um so i don't but it was in my personal email it's all very weird i have no idea wait did this email say something like i went to high school with him and i'm trying to reach him?

He coached him in high school. Oh, okay. Because I think I got something similar. This guy's desperately trying to reach him. But I just screenshotted it. Yeah, this says, yo KFC, what up? I coached the Infamous Billy football for four years in high school, trying to hit him up on email. Can you give me his email,

his address? Thanks. So I just screenshotted that. So I guess it goes to KFC Radio or Barstool Sports. Somehow that gets forwarded to my email. I didn't even know that existed because I don't know. So I just screenshotted it and sent it to Billy. Right. And he went, give him my email. And I went, no.

Absolutely fucking not, dude. I've done my part here. have i sent the screenshot to you the uh i don't i don't even know billy's email so i can't i'm like i'm like no you yeah you track this down i reached a point probably a couple years ago where i had like seceded from the world of email i just like slowly backed out and never used it and i think that's where i think that's where i'm at for sure i think i think texts have taken over right like i but i treat those like emails now it's like okay get you i got your point read understood got it like we don't have to come but we used to have email threads yeah conversations in that and that's what it texted to me now where it's like i got it understood see you later i i got to a point where i just didn't even check it it's just like i don't do oh i guess i do not like for years it

was just like i'm in the studio i'm on social media or you text me and email don't even bother and if you email me i'm not going to reply and now like i'm doing it a little bit more and i'll send an email and people won't reply and i'm like what the fuck is this you're just not gonna reply to my email meanwhile for probably like a good like six years i just never replied to an email i get i send out one and don't get a response like what the fuck does this person think they are i get that very much so brandon says hey casey and folks am i the asshole of my girlfriend i mean this is so open and shut that's the reason why i'm doing this am i the asshole my girlfriend asks me if i'd fuck one of her female friends or one of her friends if we weren't dating.

One of my female friends or one of her friends if we weren't dating. She asked me before, and I said yeah, because in that scenario we wouldn't be dating, and she went ballistic. Personally, I think she's being over the top, but I wanted to ask. If this kid, if this guy,

is over the age of like 17, I just wrote back, you've got to be the dumbest motherfucker alive oh wait i say yes crazy crazy i 100 say yes if i would i don't lie but like to what benefit what i don't think i've ever been asked uh why would you say yes what what happens out of that i'm just being honest. Fuck that. What, you just get to lay your head down on the pillow and say,

I was honest today? Fuck that. I was just like, why'd you? If they're asking you, they know the answer. So, yeah. You're asking if I'd fuck your hot friend if I didn't know you? Yeah. Well, yeah, we all know the real answer,

but being honest in that spot does not, unless you're just trying to pick a fight, get broken up with, you want to – you choose violence, fine. I get that. Otherwise, you're just making your life – I think it's crazy to lie about. It's like, yeah, you're asking if I like the hot – yeah. I'm attracted to attractive people. You are just making your life hard for no reason. No, I'm making my life hard because they are choosing to.

You decided to open this door. I'm going to walk through it. Fine. Yes. You're not logically wrong by any means. But now what? Now we're in spite. Now I've got to talk about this.

Now we've got to argue. Now you're not going to talk to me for an hour. I mean, you have the people who are like that. I think I choose to believe that I'm with someone who is, I guess like I don't know the right word for it. If you're in a good relationship, you can do this. I just don't think anybody is.

I think the vast, vast, vast, vast minority, majority, vast majority of girls are not going to be able to handle this. See, I disagree with that. And then you say an answer. Here's the other thing too you say like yes or you say a different like a person that they weren't thinking of or whatever it is it's like you are just going down a road for no reason there's no reason just say no that got that question got me specifically the way i heard it

was that like she was asking about a specific person. Yeah, that's even crazier to say yes to. I completely – I think that it's – if it's someone who's attractive and you're like, no way, they're gross. Like, I think that's weird. No, you don't have to do that. You just be like, no, I don't know. I don't think about them that way because I'm with you. Done. Goodbye.

Next question. I think it's's all it is now is just in their head like well that's what she looks like and he wants to fuck that and that's not what i look like and none of it's logical but i'm just saying it's the facts but you get then i just think there could be the other fight of like why are you lying about it where it's like if i'm honest with you i can stand on honesty whereas like i don't know you asked me a question i told you how it made me feel and that's yeah the for sure but but like like someone if you're gonna argue with someone again obviously it all kind of comes from like an unhealthy that stems from an unhealthy

relationship but like you're if i lie to you and then and then getting in that fight because then i i can i can i can rest i can yes rest my head on like well, I just told you the truth of how my emotions are. If someone says, why would you lie to me? I would say, because I don't want to hurt your feelings. And I'd rest my head on that. I'd be like, I think there's a chance you're going to be upset about this. And we're just talking about. But I don't even mean, like, why would you lie to me?

I just don't want to have the fight of an hour. I'd be like, yes, you would. Yes, you would. And I have to keep going, no, I wouldn't. No, I wouldn't. Whereas, like, you asked me a question you would yes you would yeah and i have to keep going no i wouldn't no i wouldn't whereas like i told you asked me a question i told you my answer and you asked the question so that's kind of it's on you yeah but i think it is a dicey proposition if you're telling like if if if it's like an advice thing i would not be honest about i would tell people to not be honest i'm i'm very fine like keeping my opinions to myself but if i'm asked i'm probably

gonna give you like my honest take on it. And if you're like, would you fuck that person if I was dead? Yeah, probably. That's a little different. Yeah, no, I guess it's not different. But I would not lie all the time about this. All the time. Because it's just, it is a...

I'm not going to come in and be like, yo, your friend's hot, I'd fuck her. But if you ask... I think the way he ended it, like, I think she's being over the top. Yeah. That is for sure. She's an asshole for other reasons. But this is just, like, I am looking for affirmation somewhere. Can you give it to me?

Yeah, I can give it to you elsewhere, maybe. But just come be like, do you love me? Yeah, of course I love you. Maybe. But if you're like, am I as hot as Angelina Jolie? No. Yeah. It's weirder for me to like, we both know the answer here.

Why are we both gonna pretend different yeah because they want to hear it they want to hear you say no and if you don't say no they're like fuck that was like that's probably why i'm not very good at relationships but like i don't know you asked i told you the answer yeah yeah like relationships are not built on honesty people tell you that they are not they are not relationships uh are relationships are like the foundation of relationships are built on honesty. Relationships stay up once you get past the foundation on lies. You tell the truth to someone, that relationship, that skyscraper just gets cut the fuck down.

And yeah, like the foundation, we are telling the truth and honesty. But the floors like 30 through 60 just got wiped out, bro. I'm very good at just ignoring it. And if we don't want to talk about it, that's fine. But if you want to talk to me about something, I'll be like, yeah, here's the deal. I'll go 50 years without talking about the problem. But once you bring it up, I'll tell you not even the problem, but like the whatever the situation scenario.

Yeah. Here's the fucking. Yeah. yeah i'd fuck your friend you asked well brandon you have the two schools of thought you go whichever way you want dude all right let's get into our interviews we got first up we got trevor wallace he's got his new special out pterodactyl always a good dude let's get to him on kc radio yeah once you get your own, you're fucking locked in over here. Well, yo, it's funny that, uh, let me know when you're good and pass. So it's funny you say that. Cause,

uh, Alex Cooper came through the other day. I saw it. And, um, and she was very, you know, Oh my God,

I'm back at everything. We're so great. I saw some of the comments. They're pretty funny. It was like, uh, like the, the,

the college kid come back to a senior year. Like what's up? You guys miss me? What's up? You guys still do this here? Podcast? Fucking poor idiots. I'm like, you do a podcast.

But she did say we were getting her ready to answer the internet. And she said, like, I will admit the one thing that used to bother me is they never, you guys never gave me a fucking studio. And I was like, word. Yeah. They should have gave you a studio, and i was like word yeah they should have gave you a studio man looking back and she was like yeah because like we have we have two studios now now it's different but at the time we had two dedicated studios and then we had two studios

where you could like take the logo off the wall and put another logo on and people could rotate in they had to schedule their time but my podcast and pardon my take was the two ones that had dedicated rooms and she was like yeah we uh like i should uh i should have my own room and she said something like yeah like kick fucking pardon my take out and i was like nah no no they probably would have stayed put they probably should have kicked us out they probably should have given alex cooper our studio every week they should have looked at the ratings and whoever has the highest rating gets the satisfaction. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get relegated. That would be fun.

Oh, fuck. We bombed this week. We've got to get Obama on next week. Get his numbers up, dude. Yeah, at that time we had a booker who was the worst booker in the history of the world. Just for guests. The worst. He would be like, Obama's in town.

You say Obama. I remind you of it. He'd be like, Obama's in town. Like you said, you say Obama, I remind you of him. Obama's in town. We'd be like, can we get him? Oh, no. But he is here. If there's traffic getting to the office, that's why. Dude, we emailed him once when we were in L.A. We were in L.A. for, I forget, some reason.

And we're like, yo, we're in L.A. And we, like, at the time, we didn't really do, because it was our first time. His barrier was not very good. It went out there. We didn't do too many guests. And we, like, sent an email, like, yo, like, just, I don't really do, because it was our first podcast. It was not very good. It went out there. We didn't do too many guests. And we sent an email like, yo, I don't know if anyone out here does podcasts. And if there's someone out here, we'd love to get on the show. And he was like, hmm, I know Kimmel's out there, and I know Ellen is out there.

Just saying names. And I was like, yeah, I know what fucking late night shows are recorded out here, dude. Yeah, I can Google Hollywood if you want me to. Yeah, you're actually giving a really small list for how many people live out here. Yeah, for real. The Stallones are out there. If they're not shooting, they might answer a text. That guy sucks so bad.

It's so funny how great or terrible people can be in the entertainment management side of things. They're either like stars and they work and they crush it or they're just delusional. Dude, that. It was. And he came in. I remember that first meeting where I was like, he did the first meeting. He dropped a name. And I was like, oh, dude, name dropping?

Tony Hale. And I was like, whoa. This guy knows who Tony Hale is? Go to the top. And he never even got his Tony Hale. And I was like, whoa! This guy knows who Tony Hale is? Go to the top! And he never even got as Tony Hale. That guy sucked. Who was great, but... We had a comedian on once who was saying some shit you can't say anymore.

Using words you can't use anymore. By words you can't use anymore, we mean since the 60s. Yeah, not even this new cancel culture word. Would I know this comedian? Probably. He's a big name. I forget his name. Old school.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Old school guy. He came in just ranting and, you know, old school, like, Italian ranting hot. He's like, what? So I just can't say the N-word anymore? He said the N-word. Yeah. And then so we told our booker, we were like, bro, I mean, we can't hear that.

And then he goes to him and he was like, yeah, the guys are afraid of you. Like, we're scared to run your show. So, of course, he goes on his shit. He's like, Barstool Sports is afraid of me and scared of freedom of speech and all this shit. And I was like, did you fucking tell him we're afraid? I mean, I'm not afraid of the guy. I just don't want him to say the fucking N-word on our show, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So that was one of our – he for sure fell in the way, that other bucket of completely delusional, don't know what the fuck he's doing. It's like, how do you even get here? God, do you guys have a lot of those guests where like within two minutes of them being on the show, you're like, Oh no, totally.

Well, not that, not that bad, but not that we have guests where it's like, I know this is going to be cool and fun. Or like they said, 25 minutes, let's make this 24 and a half.

You know what I mean? Like, let's get this shit wrapped up. It's funny when, when people come through, I mean, you have, you know,

you're a podcast yourself now too. So, you know, like when a guest is guest is like, blah. I'm like, why are you here? You hit us up to do it. We have a guy like that. And not funny is one thing.

If you're just not the funniest person in the world, okay. But when it's like one-word answers and that shit, I'm like. But we'll shoot it down. If you don't want to answer this question, great. But you'll be like, hey, I don't want to talk. But what but you'd be like hey i don't want to talk but what about this give me like alternate give me some alts we had a guy hit us up he flew out to do it was a fan of the pod like was like we want to do it followed up we got him on and just one word answers and we'd ask him stuff and he just like just nothing we're just like it would be complete opposite of yes and that that doesn't make any sense. Again, you came here.

Why do you want to be here? I'd rather be at lunch. I don't know if you know how viral clips work, but if I'm going to talk to you about your sex life, you better start talking. You better start coughing it up. Who are you fucking? I don't want to talk about that.

It's called stiff socks. You're going to talk about it. I really always hate the like, yeah like oh yes you know the booker reaches out will you do the interview yes i will cool great here's the time but you're not allowed to talk about the one thing that people want to talk to you about it's like what's funny we were that's the only thing that makes you interesting i was supposed to do something with uh pete davidson like a year and a half ago and michael and i're like dude this is fucking this is massive yeah and they were like it was supposed to be a live festival in canada

and we were like yes abso-fucking-lutely and they're like the only thing you can't talk about is anything with uh kim or ray j and we're like what because here's the thing it's like if it's just us in a controlled environment yeah i respect the fuck out of him i would never do that but like when you're in front of a live audience for sure and there's people just yelling out talk about kim's pop you know like yeah yeah it's hard to be like what was that not that yeah she has great plants and gardens at her house but so we were also even in the controlled environment it's like i don't want to look like a fucking idiot. If you put on a show and you see this guy is here, it's like –

The comments would be – And I'm not – if I'm just like, so Pete, like who's your favorite baseball team? Yeah, the comments would be like – And the rest of the headlines are like Pete Davidson, Kim. It's like, come on. Now, I – It's probably a bone. Maybe – let me ask the question and you give me a generic answer and then let me move on.

Him, he's into it. OK. That's fair because I was going to say I do understand the side of it. Sometimes it's like – it's not that I don't want to talk about it. It's just that it's all I talk about. Yes. So like whatever you're going to ask me, I've answered. Whatever you're going to say –

So like I actually almost think that's a fair middle ground where like let me ask it. You give your shit answer. We both know what we're doing here. Yeah. But like I can't pretend it doesn't exist. Yeah. I would be able to find the segues if he's like yeah you know dating stuff and i'd be like oh do go on who is this person but i can't just be like yeah what's uh what's your favorite neapolitan ice cream who are you fucking is it kim what's going on but uh that that gig fell through but like man we were so excited but just like the thought

so nervous to be like like what do you talk to I mean there's so much talking about but also like in the back of your mind it's almost like

when you try really hard not to like talk about one thing you're going to talk about that totally or you catch yourself being like too focused on it

you talk like an AI robot and be like you do comedy don't you exactly yeah exactly yeah exactly yeah uh do you guys um both being like successful stand-ups do you like work on the podcast or you just like you know what i mean like do you do uh worry about like i gotta get my interview skills better i gotta we gotta have better segments we gotta like

or you just let it rip just kind of let it rip um we but we don't have a another another gig we just let it rip but we don't have you guys how's that great uh you know we we're we're wrapping up this last tour this last leg of the tour and i think we're gonna uh put it on hold for a while because it's there is like he's doing a sketch show now we have daily radio it's like there's a lot going on dude i never realized just how much you have to constantly promote to sell and like when we're promoting all these other things and doing all these other things it's like yeah those tickets they weren't moving because you've only like posted about it like once this month dude you know yeah um and it's just so

it's just like more of a grind yeah it sounds like you just want to do it right yeah yeah they're gonna do it you gotta do it right and we were doing it kind of half-assed i also have recognized we we started doing it we were never touring i wish we committed to like doing it consistently earlier because we we did live shows in like 2006 15 and 16 yeah we were at the wilbur in like 2015 holy shit like nobody was and i think had we stuck with it and we were the only show in town and we grew

and did it bigger and better but we just kind of like well we intentionally stopped yeah we had Barstool's a very weird

place but they were like we make all the money like we wouldn't get any money well it doesn't make any sense then we did a show with the Wilbur

the door the everything well then it just doesn't really make sense for. We did a show at the Wilbur. It was literally $2,000. The door, the everything. Well, then it just doesn't really make sense for us to travel and do the show for not money. Right. Yeah, that chokes out. I would stop touring for that too. Totally.

I'll fucking work for Lizzo at this point. What is this bullshit? It was 2014, 15, 14. We did a show at the Wilbur. It sold out. We did two nights or two shows in one night. Two shows in one night. Two shows in one night. Two shows in one night.

That's great. I think it was like 75 grand, 100 grand or whatever it was that night like all in. An astronomical figure to me at the time. At the time? Oh my God.

It's still a lot of money. At the time, I probably made $50,000 a year. Right. So we had split that two, three ways, whatever it was. It was going to be like,

oh my God. And what happened? Marshall was like, thank you. And you're like, all right, whatever it was. It was going to be like, oh, my God. And we split it zero ways. And what happened? Marshall was like, thank you. And you're like, all right, brother. Yeah, yeah. Like, literally didn't get a dollar. You got a blue tribe this week. Shut up.

Not even a fucking penny. Didn't get brought up at contract negotiations. Like, you guys do shows? Maybe we'll do 70-30? Like, it was just like, we get all the money. It was like, we just paid for our salaries for the year tonight. Yeah. But, you know But the flip side is

Portnoy paid us salaries when there were years where I didn't bring in a dollar. So all in, maybe we'll break it even after that. You guys are probably excited to be doing that. Had we gotten paid, I think we would have been like, let's plan a whole

tour and we would have been the first and the only doing it. You find out what everyone else is making and you're like hold on dude we the same thing happened probably like three years ago where again it was a touring thing came up and we were on a zoom call with like a couple of like other guys who'd like do like comedy podcast here and they were like you want to do like a national theater tour like a variety hour right yeah all the barstool people would come out we were like yeah that sounds dope that sounds fun and i'll tell you why someone else and was like so how much like what cut do we get and they were like no like you can have like a fruit bowl back there they're like we thought we thought you'd just do it for the brand and and honestly put gun in my head, push came to shove.

I would have. I wasn't the person who spoke. Because we're pussies, though. I wasn't the person who spoke up. And if they're like, you're doing it, I'd be like, fine, whatever. But I later started to think about it. I was like, do you understand what you're asking us to do is a national theater tour? Yeah, travel.

It's like people who do this make money, and they're rich from it. It's not like their second job. That's their job, and they're wealthy because of it. And they're rich from it. It's not like their second job. That's their job. And they're wealthy because of it. And he just wants to do it for free? That's crazy. So that made it tough. That made it tough. But I did realize, like, you guys, both of you on stage, certainly your co-host has fucking energy through the goddamn roof.

And when I'm doing my show, it's not really my style. And so I go out. It's like I don't run on stage like, what the fuck is up? Let's go. You have to. I know, and I'm terrible at it, so I'm like it just is not maybe the best.

And the thing was when we were doing it kind of our style, it was okay because nobody else was really doing it. Now a lot of everybody else is doing it, and they're doing it with that energy and shit. Yeah, it makes it more interesting. Oh, wait a minute. This is what it's supposed to look like. Yeah, that lot of you, everybody else is doing it, and they're doing it with that energy and shit. Well, yeah. It makes it more interesting. Oh, wait a minute. This is what it's supposed to look like.

Yeah. That's why we haven't really toured the podcast much. We just want to figure out what that format would look like, because we don't want to do a lap, and people are like, yeah, that was the thing. Yeah. I want to do like, I mean, what, like, girls got to eat in those girls' drawers. It's insane. They get the local cheerleaders.

I mean, people are getting fucked on stage. How am I paying to be that guy? The guys, like the technicians or whatever on her show were like, Alex, we worked on Broadway. Holy shit. Broadway shows that have less light directions than your show. It's a fully planned. Yeah, people are spending money.

If they're spending money, they want a show, and I totally get that. That's the last thing you want to do is like, how was the show? That was a thing. I went. I don't know if I'd go again. But I would prefer someone leave my show, and they're like, that was really funny. Yes. Not like, you should have seen the live.

Wow. Well, you lead with funny, and then it's like the other stuff is a chair on top. It's like, dude, super funny. Also, like the set design. Yeah, yeah dude it's super funny also like the set design like the but it's super funny the and you want the and too

at times that stuff feels like we were talking about with fucking I forget what we were talking about with but where it's like

in action comedy and you're like you gotta do the action movie to get the comedy made where it's like I wouldn't want a tour if that like if if that's what we had to do if the draw wasn't us right right if the draw was like you gotta see the fire

but to be clear that i'm not saying that's what happens with these people at all i think i love girls gotta eat i'm just saying like with us that to me would feel like because it's not us yeah it's not us that's that's right well yeah it can't it can't be just two guysing this shit, and all of a sudden there's Chippendales in the background. Are they on the show? No, they're just back there. We went to Philly once, and we tried little gimmicks. We had snowballs. We were throwing snowballs at Santa.

Tough place to test something out. It was, in hindsight, pretty fucking stupid. And they were actually a very courteous crowd, all things considered. And afterwards, they were like, great show. And we were like, did you really enjoy it? afterwards they were like great show and we were like did you really enjoy it they were like yeah no we do our fans are just happy to see us yeah and then they were like but why don't you just do like your show rather than do a whole bunch of shit yeah i mean you tried it you gotta try it to know if it works it doesn't work right i got a

funny philly story my opener on the whole tour is guy tony cassius diehard dallas fan grew up in dallas and that rivalry is insane right and before he goes up he goes uh i'm gonna see if i can get them to chant fuck the eagles i don't know a lot of things about sports and i'm like yeah man do what you gotta do whatever yeah just fucking bring me up after and he goes up there and he goes at the end of his set he's like two minutes from bringing me up and he goes uh before you get out of here i just want to say i'm a dallas fan the loudest boos I've ever heard. He couldn't even get them to be like,

you guys should say, fuck the Eagles. They're booing him, and I'm like, dude, this is not the energy I want to come up to. Everyone's booing and booing, and he somehow pulls it out of his ass to be like, no, but I'm jealous. You guys won a Super Bowl with a second-string quarterback. He had his stats on deck. Somehow flipped

it to be like i i wish it was an eagles fan go birds no trevor wallace but you gotta roll on stage and go fuck the cowboys and then oh yeah that's what i did that's got a pretty easy to flip no when like they when they're yes and that one guy because it's so i've never heard that many people boo that loud all at once in a condensed it it was like an arena. It's kind of like it's just a circulating boo. This was a theater, which is people just packed in, just like, fuck you. No, idiot.

Don't boo. So I think immediately I was like, why would you try to bring that up? You're – one more time for this dumbass. That got a big pop, but Jesus Christ. You forget. It's Buffalo. as that got a big pot but jesus christ you forget that it's buffalo and buffalo i said something about uh just football in general and then the bills mafia it's like a two-minute chant i'm just standing there like can we wrap this up no disrespect for your team let's go jump on some some lunch tables what am i supposed to do here we're're there on Sunday coming up. And somehow...

Do they have a game on Sunday? Yes. Ah, fuck. At 4 o'clock. The show's at like 7.30. Okay, so you're still good, but... Not really. Zero people are going to show up to that.

It's sold out, but like, when push comes to shove, they're going to be like at the bar watching the game, doing whatever. They're going to be like, I don't know. I bought tickets, but whatever. Yeah, but... Or, I don't know. Maybe they'll be diehard, and they'll show show up and they'll be fucking hammered it's some cities it's the most random ones it's like jacksonville you guys ever been there jacksonville

florida they're everything they chant is duval you're like i mean and people are telling me about it and i'm one show in in jacksonville and i forget about it somebody told me this like a month later and then there's like a moment of silence well dude then everybody i'm like guys what what am i supposed to do to this just started handing out five dollars yes yes yes also like as if you're not a sports guy so you don't know any of it it's like what the but also like even if i was a sports guy what am i supposed to be like how do you manage the go chief. I don't fucking know. Yeah. I don't know, man.

Dude, the new special is very cool for a couple reasons. I love some of the references in there to fucking the Spongebob character. Oh, yeah. And the Sims. Sims. And things that are like, it's the first time I started to see those kind of references to that generation and those things that probably some older people wouldn't maybe know or get. Yeah. This is like for, by someone from my generation for them. Yes.

I like that. Yeah. FUBU. God. Trevor Wallace's new special is just like FUBU. Let's go with that headline. I'm wearing fat farms in this special. I was thinking about this the other day.

The word fat, I don't think was ever actually used. I can't think of a single... P-H-A-T? Yeah. Like, it was out there, but I can't think of a rap lyric. I can't picture someone at the time on TV ever saying that was fat. I for sure say that. Use it! How would you say it? picture someone at the time on TV ever saying that was fat? I for sure. You said fat?

How would you say it? I wouldn't say I was a prolific user of it, but I have right now a very distinct memory of myself in Paco jeans opening my mom's Woody station wagon and saying to my friend that something is fat. I don't remember what it was that was fat, but I'm right in front of the elementary school. And it wasn't like oh it's a fat ass.

It was like cool. I don't think I can think of fat ass but even that. I mean I remember Chris Tucker. He was like fat

PHAT pretty hot and tempting in Rush Hour. Yeah. That was like it. That's a good one. I was a big Rush Hour guy so maybe that explains it.

Maybe that's why. Yeah I think the special is just kind of be – I think it's funny to all ages. I think you'll find – it's kind of nice because it feels – you can find your moments. Oh, I relate to that. I don't know what that is, but it's funny. Right. And then when you do really get it, if you're within like five years above or five years below me – It really hits.

It really hits. Like that Sims bit fucking crushes because i think that my audience is very much in the same like age range as me and i've i've done that sims bit where murder so i've also done where people like what is that oh college gigs i do a lot of college gigs and i'll do the same set i did on there that's when i felt old for the first time yeah i did the sims thing like what is that sims like a sim card what are we talking about and i'm just like the worst is an act out that doesn't hit. Because you're like, I'm sitting like a fucking Sims character.

All right. Dude, that's like the first time I felt old. A lot of my references, it's like a Go-Gurt or a baby bottle pop. It's just something in my head is so clear. And these kids are like, what? That is tough that was that was a huge part of barstool's uh success was or my like my success at least was like well just references it's funny because that clip well the more specific reference the funnier it is you know yeah yeah and uh what's the movie uh he's got the sickest references bro

this is the end this is the end. This is the end, yeah. But it kind of is funny. If you have good references that are like, unlocks the memory, oh, I forgot about that. That goes a long way. The nostalgia play. One of the jokes in the special,

I compare myself, my body, to looking like a go-gurt. And if you know a go-gurt, you're like, that's so much funnier than if you're like, I look like a string cheese. That's nostalgia yeah and a laugh and that's like you'll never get a bigger pop than that like oh fuck i haven't heard that in a while yeah yeah yeah he's a crush go-gurts one of one of the gayest things about me but would you ever freeze them. That was a hidden thing you could do. Were you going to suck on them?

Yeah. Now we're getting gay. It's a little more. Sucking on the yogurt. But you would freeze it and you would chew on it. Oh, that hurts me. Yeah, it's weird. I don't like that memory of mine. But yeah, you could.

You could do it. But yeah, what a great invention. Frozen yogurt. Was it Duplay? Whatever it was called? Yoplait? Yoplait. Yoplait, yeah.

The Twix yogurt. That was really thelait, yeah. The Twix yogurt. That was really the one for me. The Twix yogurt? Yeah, because my mom was super healthy growing up. She wouldn't let me have any of this shit. Oh, fuck. So if I went to a friend's house, I would fucking relapse. Yeah, see, you would come to my house and fucking relapse.

I was the house that had the shit. God damn it. My friend. It was always the divorced dads had the best shit, too. Dude. Because they would run it up at Costco. It's always the divorced dads had the best shit too. Dude. Because they would run it up. Let me tell you what. They would run it up at Costco.

It's fucking Hershey bars for breakfast at my house. Is it really? Oh, yeah. Dude, I mean, I know Burt Kreischer's not divorced. Could be. I don't know. I love Leanne. I love Burt.

But I went to his place, and it's that. His whole pantry is like Mr. Beast, like chocolate bars everywhere. Bro, it wasn't even divorced dads. It was just like, if there was marital strife. Bro, when I went to a buddy's house, I would see his dad's clothes downstairs. Oh, yeah. You know. We get to do whatever the fuck we want.

Dude, if they're smoking darts indoors, we're getting pizza rolls for dinner. It's a one for one. My daughter loves Hershey bars. My son loves mini muffins from Entenmann's. And so that's like their treat. But also I'll let Keegan eat the mini muffins as like a breakfast. As like a muffin. And then Shay, my daughter, will be like, I want some Hershey bars.

And I go, no, you can't have that. She's like, why not? He's having the muffins. So I said to her, I was like, the muffins are somewhat nutritious. And she ran to the fucking nanny saying, dad says that chocolate muffins are nutritious. And my nanny was looking at me like, what the fuck? Yeah, no, it's a chocolate chip. They're somewhat nutritious.

They also have carbs. Balance. Balance, yeah. The nanny thinks I'm giving him you know like whiskey and sugar my neighbor two doors down growing up the dad would would uh chew because i feel like with zins they're not spitting anything and i'd say once a week i'd watch him grab the wrong dr pepper no oh god or like somebody else would take a sip of the dip spit my buddy's dad used to he kept he had like he there's actually one of the few houses i ever like spent time in growing up where like it was dad's chair like it

was like the classic it was a recliner that had his ass yeah the leather's all crinkled up with asses the amount of farts that have been in that thing and he would keep a two liter bottle empty by it just like a spittoon he'd pick it up he wouldn't spit into it he'd pick it up and it was just like you'd wait you'd wait for it to get full and then you like throw that away just get a new fucking two liters of vile man my dad used to do this on camping trips which is weird in hindsight now but i get it we'd all stay in one tent right and my dad would just pee in like a jar an empty jar of like mayo and he would just pee and he called it the pee jar.

And the next morning, like nobody would hear him peeing, but the next morning he'd just be on the ground. Just be a jar full of piss. Wait, camping? Why didn't you just pee on the ground? Because he didn't want to leave the tent. Oh, okay. Yeah, like we're all in a tent, but like there'd be like a clear jar, like a size of a mayo jar. Empty at night.

And then in the morning it'd just be full. Just the pee jar. And then when I got my own pee jar i was like i'm a fucking man yeah my dad's like you ruined it like is that the motz applesauce jar dad you said we're using that for quarters in the dirty mouth it's fucking big dude i i thought that my uh i thought that your spit changed to brown when you were an adult Because I'd I'd ski with my dad and his friends And they all chewed

So we'd be waiting in the lift line And I would just see brown spit You're spitting every day when you're like 13 All the adults I grew up with The thing that you think when you're a kid Dude the other day he thought He thought a wife beater was because you beat the wife With the shirt

You know I can see the A to B On that Dude, the other day he thought a wife beater was because you beat the wife with the shirt. You know, I can see the A to B on that. I didn't know a lot of Italians growing up. Dude, there's a lot of shit that doesn't click in your head. We recently had this debate on our podcast. I thought tenure was 10 years. And everyone's laughing at me. I don't like when everybody's laughing.

If two out of the four are laughing, I'm like, fuck you. But when everybody's like, you're a dumbass, I'm like, no, no, no, no, no. What's going on here? The tenure shit. But I can see that is an A to B I get. Because after 10 years, you would get that. What is the term wife beater from? Guys who wear that beater wife. Oh, it's not far well it was

specifically there was like in the 19 whatever's there was a guy who beat his wife to death and like the purple that he did like the picture in the newspaper he was wearing that so it just got associated with that but yeah it was worse than it's tough PR for Hanes

it's a tank top guys it's called a fucking tank top. They're actually called A-shirts. Yeah. Which is crazy. A for alpha? What is the stamp for? Athletic.

Really? It's like, can I get an A-shirt? It's like, what? It almost starts like a who's on first bid. Yeah. A shirt? I feel like tank tops are kind of like Pluto to the planet. They keep kind of coming in and out of relevancy.

Yeah. Now they're in. They're in. You wear a nice open button shirt with the tank under it it's like this like crazy high play down play type thing we were just we just had matt rife on and oh yeah yeah he's he's the guy that'll wear i was talking about because i i yes they are in i tried to there's nothing worse than making a fashion risk and it was dude it like it looked fine because i exactly like you're describing it, I wore it under a short-sleeved button-down in the summer, and it looked fine

just to top up here. I got home and I took that off, and it was... Because it stretches out throughout the day. Yeah, that's the shitty part. In the beginning, it's fitting nice. It's like a wetsuit. I saw myself in the mirror, I was like, what the fuck? And it covers the parts you wouldn't want to see.

The nips look a little weird when it's too tight, but the jacket covers it up. Yeah, yeah. I think I will get any guy being like, GQ might be calling me this year. So what, you wore it in the day and then it just slowly? I got home at night and I just took the shirt off. It's all loose. And I was like, oh my god. I say you look like Vin Diesel now in Fast and Furious.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's not what that shirt used to look like, Vin. In the morning, you look good. Yeah, right. Well, you have this thing going on where you don't think you're a big person. Did you see the comment I sent to the group chat today? Did you see the comment from YouTube? It's so funny, dude.

Feidelberg is like 6'2.5". Fucking – how much do you weigh? 2'35". I was going to say 2'25", 2'35". Okay. Fucking, how much do you weigh? 2. 35. I was going to say 25, 235. Okay. And he's fucking like, you know. He's a good Midwestern man, right?

Where are you from? I'm from Massachusetts. What are you fucking saying? But he does have the Midwest vibe kind of, right? And he said something the other day, like, I don't think I'm like a big guy. Genuinely, when I'm walking around New York City, I'm not like, whoa, everyone's small. I think I'm a pretty average guy. You should change your mindset to that.

He's just like brolic. You know what I mean? He's like a barrel. But that's why a tank would work for you because even buff guys just wear them or stylish guys. You're kind of both. It works for the first hour and then this guy caught we just put out a video where we went bowling which probably people love we want more of this uh it said fights moves like he's confused about why he's so enormous

i i genuinely don't think i think i'm a you are a big person. An extra large person. I have a small personality. That's it. The other thing that came up on your podcast, this motherfucker microwaves orange juice. As a child. Have we gotten to that? Do we have some orange juice? You're staring at me like this is weird.

Well, sir, I've never heard it. It's been 35 years, and I've never heard it in my life. How old are you? I told him. I said, listen. Air pass 34. I have been around a long time. I feel like I've seen almost everything or heard of every.

You put ketchup on your Pop-Tarts or whatever. It's like, I've seen it all, heard it all. I've never heard of it. Listen, it was one of those things I said. Microwaving? Not just like the orange juice. No, microwaving. Yeah, it was like a lukewarm,

not like blistering hot, but like a soup that's been sitting out for 30. I like that. You know? No. That's how I like my soup. It's a weird... That's how I like my orange juice.

Now, I can't... I wasn't right. I've been to diners where I'm pretty confident it was in a pitcher that's sitting out for a while and it's not cold. But to intentionally eat it up is the problem. I mean, I also used to eat ChapStick as a child. I'm not proud of it.

My sister would have like chocolate or like pink... Sure, sure, sure. I know the kind you're talking about. You're right on that. My mom, there was a full day where she would sit me down and be like, stop eating this. Your sister's mad. It's not good for you. I'm like, well, don't.

Make them fucking delicious. It's chocolate flavored lip balm. And it's just a quick, like, it's like a push pop. pop yeah yeah did the i i have a rather bizarre relationship with orange juice as well in the sense that i i i think it i i don't love it i don't rush to drink it afterwards but i have no problem with the taste after i brush my teeth like that i feel like that's something people always are like it's like drinking orange juice after you brush your teeth like i that's fine to me i don't care it doesn't taste different to you it tastes a little different but like it's not like okay i i'm not like i can't have my orange juice right not that i drink a ton of orange juice but i'm not

like i can't well i brushed my teeth 10 minutes ago i can't have orange juice um yeah i haven't been in that situation in a while in a long time i get ski for some reason skiing's come up twice this podcast it happens a lot skiing skiing yeah because i would go with my family and like my mom like makes breakfast it's if you have a real breakfast yeah you know and then you brush your teeth yeah um and i i have no problem with that. It's never crossed my mind to microwave any liquid. I guess outside of a soup.

Any liquid without solids in it. Hot chocolate? I've never done that. My mom's done that to me when I was a kid. Do you ever do tea? I don't dislike tea, but I don't drink it. So you'll pour a cup? Not anymore.

I would just heat it up like a plastic cup. I guess it's no different but I don't drink it. So you'll pour a cup? Not anymore. I was like, no. I would just heat it up in a plastic cup. I mean, I guess it's no different than when your kid drinks warm milk. It's insane. I think that was my parallel thinking. I was like, all right, warm milk. What else can we put in that bitch? And I think it was orange juice.

And for whatever reason, it's not good, but it's not bad. Pabst, can you send somebody to get some orange juice? When we're done with this, we'll just do a quick video out in the kitchen of drinking microwave doors. Yeah, I would love to see the reaction. Yeah. Yeah, it makes me want to fight thinking about it now. The second I said it and nobody was on board, it was like, oh, I was weird. I love those misses.

That's my version. When I hear comed comedians be like sometimes i like to bomb and like soak in it and feel it and i'm like i cannot comprehend that no fucking way i do love uh when i'm like i found something that i thought was relatable that is not at all i'm kind of like oh fuck yeah nobody does this nobody all right you start pointing to the interns no you did that yeah you didn't cause like the whole the whole career of blogging is very like you say Mario not Mario

let's fucking scream about it for 10 hours on the internet that is very true and we I've done I mean I literally built a career off of it and then when you find something that's like

nobody says this that was Australia I was just out there and they're like you say what do you say to me they're like oh aluminum

they go no mate it's aluminum it's the same word how they say tattoo blows my mind you ever heard australians say tattoo it's not tattoo it's tight sounds like they're just deep-throating those O's. But it's fascinating. I used to think that was so dumb. Aluminium and – Advertisement. Other words like that. But aluminum was the exact word he used in what I was about to say.

It kind of clicked. I was like, okay, never mind. He's got a point. It was John Oliver was on the Colbert Report or on Colbert Show. And he says aluminum and Colbert corrects him. It's like it's aluminium and John Alvarez goes well we invented the language so we know how to say it and I was like that's a good point

that's what you got it is English not far you can go after that that was kind of a death blow I was like ah damn he's right we do say it kill shot that's good I feel like you guys

put out I don't know like eight or nine or ten podcasts with mia malkova i feel like she's always no we we've done two really she's so lovely she's when i think of stiff socks that's i think that's our biggest episode um she just she's great she she's supposed to come every time she goes to new york it's always like we're gonna do the show and then it just never materializes for whatever reason but she's a hell of a podcast guest she's great and she's so nice and it's like it's one of those things where kind of like the thing we're talking about with pete it's like you you you're very cognizant of what they do for a living but you almost feel weird being like so how many dicks have you you

know like i just i it's like i just feel like such a loser when i'm doing that i'm like so but you almost feel weird being like, so how many dicks have you, you know, like, I just, I, it's like, I just feel like such a loser when I'm doing that. I'm like, so gang bangs or are they like chill or, you know, I just feel like people are just watching me.

They're very much like, it's just, they work. So like, yeah, you want to talk about it? We can, they get very professional answers.

You guys ever had Angela white on? She's on this episode with you, with you, Angela white. And Angela, if you're listening, I love you. Marie are together. Angela. So great. Yeah. with you. Angela White and Phoenix Marie are together.

Angela, you're so great. Yeah. So nice. She's like a great ambassador for the adult game. You know what I mean? She's smart. She's put together. Quick story about Angela.

I did a promo. She's from Australia. I did a promo for Australia where it's me and her. And she goes, do you guys want to see what's down under? And she goes, like, flash the camera. And the end joke is she goes to flash me and it like blinds me and i was doing it and she's like i feel like you're not looking at my tits and i'm like oh you know i just want to be respectful and she's like no like look at my be disrespectful look at my tits and i was like yeah but it felt like if i do some more i'd turn to stone if i looked at it i was like

these in front of me and then each take i did like three takes she's like you're not looking at that i'm like can i have a practice run you're not looking at me it's just this funny moment that kids online who would be just like losing their mind you got permission to look at those things really a cool life if you think about it she She's so cool. When she came in and she came in late. We started with Phoenix and then Angela came in later. And she sat down and she's like, let me get them out. And she starts rearranging.

And obviously I've seen Angela White's tits before. What? I've watched her videos. Different in the wild though. And I sat here. And I'm not even telling you this is the first time, where I was just like, I didn't think they were – I was like, those are breasts. Those are mammary breasts. Never in my life have I looked at someone's chest and been like,

that's a pair of breasts right there. Angela White's got breasts. That's a woman with breasts, dude. All these other girls got tits. That woman has breasts. Tits are like a handful. Angela's got a with breasts, dude. All these other girls got tits. That woman has breasts. Tits are like a handful. Angela's got a fucking acre of breasts. That's like when we say, I'm like, you know, that guy's got a cock.

I've got a penis. That guy's got a cock on him. Yeah. These guys did a skit the other day on their show, Out of Order, where they did red zone NFL football for porn. Oh, that's great. Pun shots everywhere. You guys like news reporters?

It was – we were doing – yeah. But a lot of it was like a double entendre on like football words. Yeah. So like it was like let's go over to the Redskins. You can't say that anymore. It was like no, no, no, two words. And it would just go to this blurred video of this guy getting spanked. But the – uh yeah that one

was a fun one do you are you still doing much uh skit i slowed down a little bit just for the special the special really took over the last like six months of my life but um yeah i mean i've been starting to shoot a bunch and bank up stuff and really push that through but like honestly this special like just came out so i want to start getting back into work and shooting sketches but everybody around me is like dude dude, fucking take a second. Yeah, for real. Take a second. And I got to live a little bit more just to write some more shit that's like –

I can dig through all the ideas, but I want some fresh – I want to get that new creative wave when I'm just bored and I'm thinking about shit. I feel like if I dropped a special, I would chill for a minute. Yeah. I would give myself – I'm very hybrid where it's like if I give myself too much time off i get like antsy and i get like i gotta do something um but but also it's like if you don't give yourself time to like catch up and relax though you're just gonna burn out what would you do well like all right what are you what are you gonna do if you're chilling like

if you're not working let's say you're gonna take a month off oh dude i a week off whatever your number is like what are you gonna what do? Fuck, that's a great question. I would try to go somewhere with a group of friends because I couldn't do anything by myself or else I would just be on my phone. That's my thing. Every time I am going to take some time off, I'm sitting there. I'm like, well, I can just make this video real quick. But it's like that takes time. Yeah, if I want to relax.

Your brain is working. You know what I mean? If you if you want to relax for five days you got to give yourself like two days up front before that yeah to like really disconnect those first two days you're still kind of in it you're getting texts still and it's like oh do you see what's happening do you see what world start just posted you're like oh fuck the new waffle house fight you gotta like so yeah and then and then like you're like I gotta get back to work so the next the final two days you're worried about that

so it's like one day I will say though like when I am well rested bits are I'm writing so much easier you can tell oh yeah

yeah because I feel like when I'm tired I'll get an idea but it's a very one note thing I'm like people who drink power water and then I think of like

one line and then I'm like that's all I got but like if I'm rested I can just sit there and just go venn diagram on this bitch it's important well i noticed it was we started the daily radio show where it's like i when you hit a wall it's like i just can't do it anymore man yeah like i don't have i can't think i can't listen and like this is just like here's a podcast of guys discovering what tired is. But it's mental. So I just can't give it to you right now.

I have nothing. Like you're saying, I got one line, and that's it. I don't know how. I was watching The Firm with Tom Cruise the other day. And I don't know how it works in other jobs. But it was like, he comes home, started a new job at a law firm, and he's coming home at like 4 a.m. I'm like, I don't know.

How do you do it? Because you can't be working. You have to be exhausted. To me, that's the biggest difference. There are times I wish I was just working like a manual labor job where it's just like, just turn the brain off, do this one thing, and don't have to worry about anything else.

You guys have got so many minutes on air, you think you could AI an episode or two, no? You know what? We had something recently where we had a co-worker come in, and we knew it was a lie. He was doing it, and he's like, just pretend we're on the podcast. And we started doing it, and it was so earnest where i was like yeah this is just like autoplay where it's like he pretended he got in a fight and we're interviewing about the fight yeah and it was just like i was like yeah this is just a podcast yeah we just know we're questioning what we're saying isn't real the fight and i was like yeah this is not real but it's so easy to do

that that freaked me out i was like this is weird now it's just like we're part of like the simulation or something like that like i can talk about anything yeah we we did something which is pretty fun we were all feeling pretty burnt out and we're like let's go take like a trip just like a boy's trip and we went to uh amsterdam and uh abiza abitha abitha like the four of us yeah yeah me mich Michael, and our two editor and producers. Yeah. And we just switched the setting, and it gave us so much more shit to talk about. Obviously, it's like fortunate enough that we can do that.

It's like not an easy, like, let's just go to fucking Amsterdam. But I think switching up, I know it's hard when you guys have a dedicated set and crew and everything, but it's like you switch it up. You can do like a rooftop pod. We love doing pods in like hotels. Like when we're always on the road and like together. It's like, dude, hotel pod. Throw it up in the bathtub, whatever the fuck. Anything like that always helps spark something new.

But man, sometimes we both show up and we're like, I got nothing. What's on the news? Even the news got nothing. Pigeons are walking slightly slower than 20. What are we talking about? Can somebody fuck somebody? That's the only good part.

If we're feeling slow, it's like both of us are single right now. So it's like I got nothing. Cool? That's got to be a show right there. But some weeks I got nothing. And he's like, dude, I had a fucking threesome and this and that. And I'm like just sitting there just cucking myself like, oh, what was it like? How was it?

Did everybody finish on time? That is like – that's one thing where once – like the stories from my life are never going to be that good probably ever again. You think? I mean my stories are like my kid did something stupid. He just had his own little laugh. Yeah, but I would imagine the audience is growing with you. Yeah, that is true. But it's like we're all getting lame together.

Yeah, but fights you fucking know. Fights is his famous thing is he doesn't have sex because he's not depressed. Right? Yeah. You only have sex when he's depressed not sex sex is too specific it's coming all right he doesn't walk me through this yeah it's not to come but what's happening it's just just it's it's an exaggeration of course but like when i'm in a good mood and a good place i'm just coming a lot less. I'm not, like, laying in bed depressed. And then when you're in bed, it's a pretty short leap to, like,

let's just grab my phone and jerk off. And it is – And I think, like, jerking off in general is, like, you're trying to get that dopamine hit, like, a lot of times. So, like, I just do it less. So you're happier, like, it doesn't even cross my mind because I'm happy. I already have what I would need. Yeah.

Like, again, it's not never. I'm happy. I already have what I would need. It's not never. I'm exaggerating for comedic effect. But I'll go days where if I'm depressed, I'll go an hour. It's like the first thing I do when I wake up. It's always hotel rooms. It's just sad and lonely and they're too cold. The AC is blaring. You're like, oh, let me just get under the bed sheets.

Well, let me guess what's going to happen. If I'm in bed under the bed sheets well let me guess what's going to happen at 3pm I'm coming I'll put the fucking AC at 82 degrees and it's so cranking cold dude I think

that's part of getting old a bit where like I'm I'm warming up hotel rooms these days where it's like I'll start at 68

but I'll wake up at some point before I'm before I'm ready to start the day which I guess is another old thing where like I'll wake up like I'll start at 6 a.m. but I'll wake up at some point before I'm ready to start the day, which I guess is another old thing where I'll wake up. Like I do that now. I'll wake up at like 6.30 a.m. and I'll be like, this isn't the real one. I'll piss. I'm excited.

I'm like, I'm going back to bed after this piss. And I'll do that like in a hotel room. When I'm up on that one, I'll crank it up to 72. I want to be nice and toasty when I wake up. That is a mature manner i'm so dumb i just like shiver in the morning in the hotel room because i think i always fuck them up once i turn it off i feel like i can't get it back to what it was so i just leave it on that same the whole time because i like the consistent air i just like the consistent yeah for sound especially for sleeping so i don't want to fuck with it because sometimes you fuck with it and then it's like an on-off thing.

You're like, oh, it's a nightmare. I ruined the whole ecosystem. You can't hear. Yes. But then it's like when there's no noise in a hotel room, oh, God, that's weird. It's like the murderer. Yeah, it's murder. I'm touching myself.

It's too many variables. I'm getting stabbed or I'm shooting a shot. I can't. Like I got to have some white noise so i mean dude i feel you in the the old sense i travel with a white noise maker and my own coffee but like i make my own coffee dude it's so funny i'm just on the road so much that i want to like just get as close to my own routine as possible uh and i just hated being on the road waking up and immediately having to go to like a lobby or a Starbucks

and start my day there because then I'm starting there's kids screaming and I'm not saying I'm some like massive celebrity but there's a good amount of times

where I go to Starbucks and some guy's like yo fucking trap dude this guy if you're in a small town this guy's yelling I'm exhausted I'm tired

I'm like dude please please man yeah but now it's like I have a coffee and then that gets me like leveled out and then I'll go out into man I'll get you a little coffee cup in your room yeah but now it's like I have a coffee and then that gets me like leveled out and then I'll go out

into the world and get a that makes sense actually that is maturity my friend yeah then I'll go out and get a regular breakfast but I forget how insane it is

and then I'll have like a girl stay with me or like travel with me on like a tour date and she's like are you making your own coffee and then I try to explain

what I just explained to like a 25 year old chick and she's like I don't care I don't care let's have sex again so I can leave yeah but like

that's room service yeah but you still have to wait for the room service you're right you're right you're right you got your own first special and you got your own

coffee cup dude it's just you find your routines you find your thing I get it I get the the age you just

you just find your preferences. There's nothing wrong with it. You just might look a little insane to some people. Good shit, my man. All right. Thank you to our boy Trevor Wallace. Everybody make sure you go watch Pterodactyl. Spread the word.

Post on it. He's one of the good guys who deserves to make sure that the algorithm hits and the views are right and everybody gets their money and everyone's happy. And we'll finish things off here. Thanksgiving special with Angela White and Phoenix Marie. NC17, bro. Bunch of turkey breasts. We're going to put the TVMA tag on this one. Buckle up.

So how does a Cali girl become a Chiefs fan? I became a Chiefs fan because I picked all my teams in 96. Okay. And so we're talking priest homes era and so i picked the lakers i picked texas rangers and then a high mangels i know they're los angeles but fuck that shit and high mangels um what was your what was the catalyst for the rangers uh just texas i like Texas? I don't know. There's something about like I like the... So you just randomly picked four teams with four different

You came out with Buffalo Sabres fan too. You're a Sabres fan? Yeah. But when they were red, black, and white. I mean, I guess that was Osgood, right?

I'm sorry, not Osgood. Dominic Kosciuk. Yeah. So yeah. All right. I mean, you got like a player on every team who is fun to watch.

And then a Lakers for Nick Van Axel because he was a three-point king. Nick Van Axel. Yo, when someone says they're a Laker fan, you're like, yeah, dude. The Nick Van Axel era, it swept the nation. Then they got traded to the fucking Knicks, so you guys got them over here on this side. So fuck that.

That is funny. I don't think anyone I've ever heard be like, you know, the Lakers. It's Magic. It's Kareem. It's fucking like, you know, the Lakers. It's Magic. It's Kareem. It's fucking Kobe. It's now LeBron. It's Nick Banner. That's how you know you're a real one.

We were just talking earlier. Jenna Hayes' name popped up. And I was thinking about anybody who basically has like a career revival because of OnlyFans, right? Oh, my god, yeah. Like if you were in the game when it was like studios and all that shit, and then either you move on to bigger things, you – Find a boyfriend. Yeah, whatever the reason may be. And you're like, now I can't do my job.

You know what I mean? But now all of a sudden along comes this thing where it's like you can do it alone if you want. You can do it from home. You can do it – Fuck your partner. Right. Just be like, here we go. However you want can do it alone if you want. You can do it from home. You can do it – Fuck your partner. Right. Just be like, here we go. However you want to do it.

Yeah. I mean that's got to be like all of a sudden you're hurting again. But you look at some of those girls and like they went on TED Talks and talk shit about our industry. Oh, really? That's where I have an issue. I did see. Is that Jenna?

Yeah. Yeah, because we saw that she did TED Talks and I was kind of saying like, oh, good for her. But that's kind of lame if you go – if you benefit off of it and earn off of it. Listen, if you want to go expose some of like the bad things that go on in an industry, that's fine. But you can't. What was her general thesis?

It was basically like how porn like corrupts guys and how, yes, sex trafficking can happen to women and it just – it just tried to make us look bad yeah and i was just like you were with jules jordan for many many years he gave you your own lines under jules jordan when jules was like the biggest brand right yeah it's a bag dvd when i was still around and i was like and i never got to work with jenna but like we were always friends because i was always at jules house shooting right and i just got so mad because i'm like you know don't talk shit and then come back yeah if you leave leave just walk out also if you leave just leave and don't you don't have to say anything yeah and i guess if you want to like if

you want to try to put it into to sex trafficking, great, obviously nobody likes that. Yeah, nobody likes that. But if in the process you kind of tear down everything else, it's like, okay, it's not for you anymore. You don't have to. What's the angle for corrupt men? What do you mean? What?

Oh, as far as like too much stimulation, ejaculating too much, all that fucking bullshit. Oh, that I think is bullshit because guys are going to come no matter what. Well, I've made the argument I don't have to come if I'm happy. That is true. John thinks if he's... John has more sex when he's depressed.

I was going to say, sad boy season? Isn't it sad boy season? Well, it's... Well, Phoenix, it doesn't happen a lot. I would argue... I said before that, like, if I'm, yeah, when I'm depressed is when I come the most, for sure. But I feel like that's normal, right?

No, when people are having sex. When you're hungover in bed, they're happy. I'm happy all the time because I come all the time. This is your most warped thing. I come all the time. Sex come all the time this is your most warped thing i come all sex and depression go together i come all the time but i'm happy for happy for fleeting moments jerking off there's one side of the couch when he's like crying all the time it's like don't touch here over here it's bodily fluids everywhere it just depends what they are the i would think that most people i know what you're saying when you turn to sex to like try to fill a void that is a thing but if you're having

consistently good sex i think that would help you the fact that you're even adding sex to this is crazy just just yeah he's like i'm just seeing my friend see that but that's where i think if you're saying porn corrupts because guys are coming too much, that's crazy. If you're saying porn corrupts because guys have unrealistic expectations of what girls may do, there's an argument to be made there. That's fair. There's a lot of things that you'll do on camera or maybe even how you have sex in your personal life because you're just more sexual. That other girl is going to be like, you're not doing that. You're not putting that there.

You're not finishing that. There's a lot of things. You went straight to anal on that one. That's what your head is like. Anal, fac like, you're not doing that. You're not putting that there. You're not finishing that. There's a lot of things. You went straight to anal on that one. That's what your head is like. Anal, facials. Ain't nobody doing that. I mean, like – You can talk them into facials, can't you?

You can. I actually think that's the biggest bill of goods that porn sold us is the facial. Oh, the facial is the one thing. What's up? Come on in. What's up, dude? Come on in. How are are you good to see you you got them both to stand up i only got like half a hug swing that in here yeah i would say look at she gets so cold she brings all the jackets

we do like smell cold you smell amazing though so it works I slept on that couch for a while it's been a big 24 hours there are just random somebody's definitely gonna jerk off

right now I slept on that couch I don't know if I want to touch random stuff no they're good let me I'll move them for you no it's fine

no I've been on porn sets like honestly but still why does he just want to be in here I've been on porn sets, like, honestly. But still. Why does he just want to be in here? It likes you. It wants the free flow.

She just wants to be closer to me. I do. Did I screw up the camera angle, though? No, no, not at all. Okay, listen. Your tits are, like, the whole couch, so we're good. The angle's there. That's what I was waiting for. Take this off.

Take this off? Yeah, thank you. Take this off. Take this off? I'm sorry, my bad. Thank you. I appreciate it. Now I feel like it's way better. Okay, we're good. Why would you say that? Say what?

Why would you say now is when? Because it was blocking the curvaceousness of your whole entire amazing body. So why would you do that? Thank you. Is that good? That's good. Ugh. Angel's like this this whole time i am your father thank you we were on facials by the way as we're bringing the mic closer to your face

what oh facial yeah i think amazing she does blowblings and I don't. I think that facials are the – I'm actually out of breath. I think that facials are the thing that translates the least into the regular world. Yes. I think like – Oh, you agree quickly. Yeah, I agree. I think like –

I think anal translates the least. Oh, well, you have a good argument there. But I i think that there are a multi-key there are um i'm going to use the term regular i don't mean in a derogatory way but like regular girls there that will can enjoy anal the same way that actors will but i feel like facials are like guys are into it they want to do it even girls are into it and want to do it and then when you do it you're like oh fuck it's a mess it depends on how good of a pop shot you're that is depressing when you if you have a plan to do any of that sort of shit i'm going to come here or there for the first time and it's like let's do it and then you have your worst nut it's like fuck why did i drink off before the date but i think that though in the moment you're like let's do it and then right

away you're like oh i'm sorry it's in your hair it's in your eye that's good for a week the big one no the eye is my eye blows up it's like poison yeah it's your eye goes so red it gets red like the terminator yeah yeah like i guess i've never had a situation it's bad it's not the next day i have to wait when i get it in my eye my eyes are like listen bitch you've been there okay like fuck you dude i feel like one drop i feel like there was a a where girls would hold their eyes. Oh, Ned Schwartz. What was that all about? Early 2000s.

Yeah. If you really do that, they left the Nick Van Exel era. Yeah. That is a thing that I – even in the moment when anything could pop on screen and I'm like, whatever, I would be like, wow, man, Jesus Christ. Yeah, I wouldn't stop anything by the way. No, but in my head I'd be like, wow, wow. Is that a power thing? Is that something beforehand you would like, that's obviously negotiated and all that,

but you ramp up the price for that? No. No? No, same price. Same price. We're T4s. What guys need new agents? We're our own agents. what do you what what do you up charge for anal anal yes always and then extra guys yeah dps gang bangs you charge extra for each guy group scene type things like but something like that like you can come wherever you want and that's you agree upon it

but it's not well um would some people charge more for cream pie I don't know some people won't do cream pies yeah but I don't think

they charge more it's like it's like they just probably are like I think you guys should charge more for all this stuff Mel I mean we get paid

pretty well we're browsers contracted so yeah browsers you're contracted by browsers and then you can do your own Only fans yeah yeah and they don't care

no that's part of the contract yeah yeah but it has to be negotiated in yeah every every contract is different and everyone negotiates their contract differently so i'm do they get i'm allowed to do my only fans and i'm also allowed to do my own productions because i have my own dvd distribution deal so i can i can direct and produce my own movies as well so then why even what is browsers it's just for the traffic i mean you're gonna get traffic on all the sites porn hub etc but browsers so browsers sign uh browsers paid viewership is still is like a huge number oh yeah that you get exposure from yes yes huge brands i would think my thought would just be like as long as i'm on porn hub and whatever are the other like aggregators like

you'll know me but it's it's it's that much better to be in browsers browsers i i've purchased browsers before and uh good job yeah yeah i pay for my porn and uh i had it one time where I was buying glasses to see. And I had bought browsers the night before. So my credit card popped up with a unique purchase or whatever. So they flagged my card. And I was in the optometrist's office on the phone. And they're like, sir, we're just going to go through your recent transactions. And I was like, dude, whatever it is, it was me.

I don't have kids we're not there's no 13 year old boy that did this i'm a grown-ass man i made my choice re-approve the card i need to be able to see again please so wait uh you think browsers gets more from you or you get more from browsers i think it's good yeah really it's not for me and i'm sure for you as well it's not just the traffic like they really treat their performers well they're really at the forefront of ethical production they've implemented a consent form um that we go through with a talent liaison every day before each scene and the talent liaison is there on set with us so that if anyone crosses the boundary or if anything changes they're there to help us and advocate for us i feel like that's got to be the biggest misconception that like – I mean I'm sure there are like budget productions that are still doing terrible shit.

Low budget, yeah. But like it's clean. It's safe. It's fun. It's like all that shit, right? It's big business. Yeah. Yeah.

That is a weird thing. Corporate. It's arguably the biggest business. Yeah. Like if you'll say sex sells, obviously. But like then pornography is like – It's number three in Google search. Is it three? Yeah, it's three.

Pornhub. What's number two? Google itself is like number one. Then I think it's something like – what was number two? Something stupid and then it's Pornhub. Do you know what the number for the industry is? I think the NFL is a $9 billion a year industry or something like that.

Is it even quantifiable in porn? The adult industry is very secretive about everything, especially what we make. So it's in the billions, but who's to really know? And then do you count the amateur stuff? So we've asked this question many times and I'll continue to ask it.

What do you define as a porn star i think you need to be part yeah i think you need to be part of the studio system so i don't think no only fans no and that's not to dismiss only fans creators some only fans creators make more than porn performers so i'm not saying i'm not putting them down in any way whatsoever but they're not a porn star i think to be a porn star there's a level of technical ability and proficiency that you can only learn on set i think what content creators are creating for only fans is like there's some high-end stuff but a lot of it's amateur you don't learn the things that you learn on a porn set which is how to position your body so that the camera can capture everything perfectly.

So like in Doggy, you don't just go into Doggy and arch your back. I don't like how she did the bad Doggy pose. If you do the bad kitty cat instead of the good kitty cat, then you know. But it's not just as simple as whether you do the correct arch. Your hand positioning is important. I have big boobs, so I want to make sure that the camera captures my boobs. So I'm moving my hand that's closest to the camera back so you can see the swaying of the boobs.

You're moving your right knee, if the camera's over here, forward a little so that then you can see the penetration better. There's all these kinds of things that you learn on a porn set that you might not necessarily need to learn. Yeah, anybody who's ever tried to do it themselves realizes really quick I was like damn why does my dick look so small right now

fuck sorry guys this is just my asshole we're doing this really wrong no what do you mean that was the anal licking but I also think to be a star, there has to be some sort of name recognition as well.

Yeah, like a level of prolific. I would agree with that. I feel like, I think the debate has re-arisen. I feel like when I was coming up in the game, if you did porn, you were a porn star. Yeah, if you were on camera, on a video, having sex, you were a porn star. Because it was like,

I was like right at the precipice of like internet porn we had like a magazine once when I was a kid but most of the porn was watched so like anyone who were you a penthouse or a playboy guy fucking this one club

club magazine I went through a phase where I would just come home drunk and buy I've been in that a few times a ton of porn magazines. But when we were in high school, everyone was like, oh, porn star, porn star, porn star. But nowadays, I think there's a lot of them around here. You guys are kind of slutty. Kink chick.

Cigar aficionado. Oh, nice. We don't want the boner. That's a good rule. That is a good rule to live by. If you make me horny, I'll buy it. But the – I think now because we have a question that is are there more porn stars or murderers in the world? And that was created –

Oh, porn stars probably. Because there's also a similar thing with murderers where it's like you have to have been caught. And there's plenty of people who kill somebody and they're not. I don't like this association. I mean, I do like to have my pussy murdered. But no, I'm not into it. Can we have a

different association? There are some people, one of my biggest pet peeves, people call Kim Kardashian a porn star. First of all, they're saying it in a derogatory way, Kim Kardashian a porn star fuck that like first of all they're saying it in like a derogatory way so I'm like fuck that

but it's like she made a video with a boyfriend like that's a porn star now no that's the only fans girl yeah she profited off of sex

and like a lot of fucking people are porn stars then so you would just say she's a porn performer no I wouldn't I think she just put on a porn

I wouldn't even say porn I think like porn is like you almost like well i was gonna say like two performers who don't know each other like link up but it's like there are couples and so it's a weird thing to define but it's like making a sex video with your partner you're not doing porn no and it's also if you're doing it a lot for money if it's your job maybe we can start the argument but if you did it for like you know private reasons or even if you profited off it but it was like just a one-time thing i can't you can't say someone's a porn star there's also a totally different skill set that comes along with being on set especially if you're i mean for males and females but if you're a male performer and you can

get it hard with your wife at home while the cameras are set up great try coming on set, especially if you're, I mean, for males and females, but if you're a male performer and you can get it hard with your wife at home while the cameras are set up, great. Try coming on set where there's a 15 crew. Well, listen, there's quite a lot of guys

it's harder for them to get hard for their wives. No, but you're right. That's why we're here. That's why there's only like, there's so few guys, right? There's like a million women and there's like 10 guys.

Oh, there's other guys. We just, you know, we're Ferraris and i use this all the time i'm like anyone could buy a ferrari right i'm all but it takes the right guy that knows how to drive it to make all the gears shift the right way yeah i got a bicycle bro it was a moped the Kinkei, what is the best celebrity sex tape? Great question. None. None? Well, in terms of...

I know. I mean, Pam and Tommy. Pam and Tommy. Pam and Tommy. I mean, that's like classic. Pam and Tommy because they're talking and shit. It's real. The whole thing is like they're showmen, showwomen.

They're performing. Kim was not on our game. I like the Paris Hilton one. Paris? I like the night vision. I just... I don't know. I didn't think she was

giving the best blowjob She was starfishing. Yeah. Too much starfish. Wait, what's starfishing? Starfish is where you just lay there. Oh, you just lay there? Take it.

That one. Who else is there? That's really the only one. Oh, wait. James Dean did one with Lindsay Lohan, right? No. I don't know if it came out, but he did. What?

Is this an inside scoop? Lindsay Lohan has a sex tape? Yeah, they used to date Lindsay Lohan and James Dean. Yeah, back in the day. No way, dude. Are you talking at a school right now? Are these industry secrets that you're revealing I'm all

first of all we were in Melbourne together and James was there and like legitimately

we were discussing that like how they were dating and then he did the movie her movie the hills the canyons

canyons yeah there you go and so like they were fucking that whole time and he did a sex tape I think that was I think that was

a secret though that they were fucking I think I don't know though that they were fucking. I think, I don't know if you still Well that's all out there now. Wait, is this live?

No, no, no. Okay. I don't care if it is. Well, so there is a TMZ clip.

James Dean, did you bang Lindsay Lohan? Dean called in to TMZ Live on Friday to discuss Lindsay's on-set tirade. And I guess they asked him point-blank. And then there's another

headline saying, I am no longer willing to talk about Lindsay Lohan. He did have the one with the teen mom, though. Yeah, he did. That's one. I wouldn't call her a porn star either. No. Like I think she profited off of – wait a minute. I mean she did Vivid and she did a couple movies.

Yeah, maybe she – I mean she was in – I just wouldn't say that that first video made her a porn star. No. I think she continued to do it and it's like now you're – I also – It's like China. Whenever China did – Yeah, these are just sex tapes.

Yeah. It's just funny that the word tape is still used because – But that's not whenever – Yeah, there's no tape involved. I also think – I feel like we had a rule that you had to do anal to be a porn star. Yes. Yeah. And I know that's not fair, but it's kind of like –

That's a curse. So I made her a porn star. I made you a porn star. Yeah, I said Mia Khalifa. Mia Khalifa is the number one porn star in the world. No, you're not. You've never done anal. Come on.

I don't know if I agree with that. I agree with it. You would anal queen. Like maybe, maybe. Angela's like, then I say blow bangs because she knows I've never done that. Yeah, yeah. You have to do a gang bang to be a porn star. That would be boring for me anyway.

I just don't have no desire to have. I have a rule. No more than three. I me anyway. I just don't have no desire to have. I have a rule. No more than three. I'm all. I did. I have a rule. It has to be more than three. More than three.

Well, for me, it's just like I got three holes. I'm like, efficiently. Like, you can put two in my ass, one in my pussy. Airtight. Or like, yeah, airtight it. And then there's always got to be one extra because the guys get tired more than us like we don't get tired there you get tired that's four you just said no no no i so no oh you're saying at one time so then we i always have to have extras no i literally did forgive her

which got taken down for being too violent whatever i've had 40 browsers seen get taken down for being 40 40 yo that's so. Yo, that's so gassy. 40 scenes for browsers. There was a period of time. I'm their number one shot girl and I've had 40 taken down and I'm still their number one shot girl.

Like, I did some shit. From like past work that's like, that doesn't fly anymore? Right, exactly. Got it. I went through a phase where like every...

My first DP got taken down. Oh. What was wrong with that? I don't know. Apparently when they were slapping my face and choking me out. Did you cry? No, I wish.

I could deep throw by then. There's no tears allowed. Only for you. What do you mean? If I start crying during a scene, they cut. I mean, I don't know. Do you want to know what scenes she's been crying you can like water yeah you can water though i've never cried in a

scene like oh my god i'm upset like it's just i mean that's a pretty good rule yeah well yeah but sometimes i like it in my recent boy boy girl that i did for brazzers my my eye started tearing up because it was like a giant cock down my throat. And they had... Who's a giant cock? It is how it should sound. It's a giant cock. But I was like having so much fun

and because it's corporate and because they have... But you were crying or choking? I was choking and crying. Who's dick? Not really crying, just tears. You crying just tell me the dick it was hollywood cash oh yeah he's got a really really big i've seen it because when i did browser's house 4 like he was there for one of the orgies because we did that 17 gang bang orgy thing where i had like four girls inside me and then they all screamed out look we made a finger bracelet with phoenix's vagina and i had like four girls inside me and then they all screamed out look

we made a finger bracelet with phoenix's vagina and i'm like you guys are assholes four hands taylor's just gonna start that one then yeah there's your next hoodie what's that kind of point you think taylor swift watches good question boy girl just like i don't know fastball down the middle especially yeah with travis like no it's definitely boy girl has that affected your kansas city fandom um i don't hate taylor swift i have some of her music downloaded so let's clarify swifties please don't fucking kill me but i'm just like yo can we make it about the game and not who's at the game because like with quest love like we were talking like he hit me up and

like afterwards like paul run me him and like one other person we're all in like the same group chat and he goes this is your only time where you can talk shit like if you're gonna do it do it now against my eagles and i'm like i'm not And then next thing you know, Sodgate happened, right? Like the flight gate. Then he's like, oh, Sodgate. See how they changed cleats? You guys cheated. I was like, we didn't cheat.

And we go this year. You guys, I hope, go too so we can fucking kick your ass again. We're going to see Quest in like an hour. And I'm going to be like, I really like the Eagles. This should look good. Good prospects. Wait, so you're in an NFL shit-talking group chat with Questlove and Paul Rudd? Yeah.

That is from outer space, man. That's like a fever dream. I was in a group chat with Matthew Berry. I talk shit with him all the time. Matthew Berry, Paul Rudd, and Quest Lover in a group chat. Well, Matt and me are just on our own. I've known him for so long

before I even met his wife. And like when he made his first book for analytics on like you know, when he was ESPN. And then he's like, I just got a full-time job. He goes, we can't even talk about being friends. I thought you said Matthew Perry this whole time. I was like, you really shouldn't be talking like this right now Kevin was panicking

he's like she doesn't know what are we going to do I'm going to have to break the news to this woman bro you should feel my heart I can't believe she's saying this we're definitely editing this out who cares that he was talking shit about fucking football? It's a tragedy.

Oh, my God. Okay. Not that one. We had a video sent to us recently of a buddy of ours, Nate Bargetzi. He's a comedian. And it's the intro of a porn. And it looks like a very old-fashioned porn. It's very weird because

it does look like, I guess, 90s style. We'll show it to you guys. I'll add it to the video. Sorry, guys. You don't get to watch it at home. Something DM'd it to us, so it'll pop up. He was... So that's his stand-up act as like the porn is getting going

which is just very funny that's just like they're all just bored as fuck it's like a clean comic and and like very he's like all right it's about to happen to me stroked well and but what when has there been like like i was just thinking of them starting that porn like before the scene gets going like we're just gonna put on some stand-up comedy has there been like, I was just thinking of them starting that porn before the scene gets going. We're just going to put on some stand-up comedy. Has there ever been like, not weird in the actual sense, but things where you're like, this is just a little off. Why would we be sitting here watching stand-up comedy, the three of us? I mean, don't look for logic in porn.

That's a good point. That is a great tagline. Don't look for logic. But are there things where you're like, this doesn't make any sense, but who cares? When they asked me to get set on fire, that was one of those things where you're like, you really want to set me on fire? I mean, I'm down. I did it.

To be clear, that was a kink scene. It was a kink scene. I got set on fire while I was sucking dick and getting fucked all over. And so I put my hair in a bun. And then they just went – It was one of those things where it like burns the – Yeah, it burns like the alcohol. But it can burn you. So Skin Diamond, who's Raylan Joy now, listen to her music.

And she has a phoenix tattoo. I never understood why she had the phoenix tattoo. And she goes, it's because somebody didn't put it out in time and they actually third degree burned her skin and it like bubbled so she turned those into like the feathers i hope she got paid more for that uh no she didn't because it was back when she was still in scotland so no way yeah it was fucked i didn't know about it until afterwards the rate goes up yeah yesterday's price is not today's price lexi bell was supposed to be Lexi Bell. Lexi Bell was supposed to be the one set on fire, not me.

But then next thing you know, they're like, oh, Lexi doesn't want to try it. Phoenix. And I was like, fuck. Or being electrocuted while your feet are in water. And then they make you take your feet out and then put them back in and then take them back out, put them back in. I'm okay with just making out. In terms of getting excited, I'm good.

Just let's make out. You get to do all the dicks and all the blow bangs and everything else. I do the crazy shit. That's how this relationship always works. Tom Cruise of porn. Jumping out of a plane. I'll just ride the motorcycle off the cliff. How about that?

That'll be the easiest way to get a shot, right? Wait, so I don't want to harp on it too much, but I'm just – this bug won't leave me alone. So like they just like – how long were you on fire for? For about an hour. Shut the fuck up. How long was the fire on you? On me for an hour. No fucking way.

What are you, a goddamn magician? No, they move it. So they put it here and then they put it here and they put it here. They did it up my back. At one point, I was doing a blowjob to Jason Brown and it wrapped under my thighs. And I just remember I'm still sucking. I'm like, hot. And they knew to put it out and they move it.

So then they moved it to my back. And I was sweating profusely. You were on fire. Yeah. You were hundreds of degrees. I did not have a bush at the time, thank God, because it would have been really bad. I'd have been like, poof. Dude, I've never heard of that, seen that.

That is a learn something new every day thing, didn't it? That is an obscure kink. I feel like that's an obscure kink. That's one where I would be like. I'll try. I usually say I'll try almost anything once. I'm not trying that one. I'm with you.

No fire play. What about electricity play then? No electricity. Anything that can kill me, I'm probably out on. We were kind of just talking about it. We weren't even speaking sexually. I guess we kind of were. It's just like if you just ask me to do it, I'll do it.

I'm kind of like – Okay, so you're going to get set on fire. I get to electrocute you i'm drawing the waterboard yes i would be like i'd be like i really want to suck your dick while you're on fire i'd be like all right you'd get hugged i that's a good question uh probably if it's me yes just say if it's me yes good answer i'll make sure you're fucking hard. I'm like, god damn, I'll take the football. It would get cut for Brazzers because I'd just be crying on fire. John has 40 scenes cut for Brazzers.

Never been published. He wouldn't stop crying while I got blowjobs. I knew they were going to light me on fire once I got hard. Just like the old timey guys hanging in the gallows. Like, I know what's coming the second I get direction. They're going to light me on fire.

That's great. Where are you and Glennie going to go on your honeymoon since you guys are just a couple now? He hasn't actually proposed yet. Unbelievable. But I know that's why you were late

because you went out with him last night. You were in West Village, right? That's not why I was late. Tell him the truth about why I was late. This hair is why I'm always late. She is like always saying. How did her hair make you late?

Because we're the same makeup artist. And she goes first. Got it, got it. And she came even earlier. Listen, tomorrow you get her all by yourself thank goodness I'll be on time it's alright

you're going second anyway so fuck off but I did go out with Glennie last night that is true the Glennie Angela White duo saga is one of my favorite things

to ever hit the internet iconic name of our iconic duo we were giving him a hard time we were like so you're dating Angela White now

and he's like we're not dating I was like you are come on man White now? He's like, we're not dating. I was like, you are. Come on, man. He's like, we're not. It was like in middle school. We're not dating, dude. He's like, you hung out with her?

He's like, she was on the show once. And she's coming tomorrow. And we're going to go to the deli. And then we did one other show together. But it wasn't mine. I was like, you're dating. You're dating Angela White. He is the best.

She needs a New York boyfriend. She's got lots of old ones. Do you have boyfriends, both of you, in separate – not boyfriends, obviously, but like – We have boyfriends. Loosely termed boyfriends. Yeah. When I touch down, you're like, don't pick me up. Now, I guess if I could use – this might be an old-fashioned term.

Are they dick appointments or are they – Going studies. Is that what you mean? Are they dick appointments or are they going studies? I have one I go study with. But he's a pro skier, so. Pro skier? Yeah.

Jeremy Bloom? No. He's the only pro skier I know. Tanner Hall? I don't know Tanner Hall. Jeremy Bloom also is a very old pro skier. I could never tell you a pro skier. I could never tell you. He was the wide receiver at Colorado.

He was a wide receiver at Colorado, and he also was trying to compete in the Olympics, but he wasn't allowed to compete in the Olympics because it would ruin his amateur status. I just know Bodie Miller. Bodie Miller! I know Bodie too. But he's just an Olympic. Bodie Miller is the man. He's a good New England boy.

Tanner's like 14 X Game Gold type guy. He's like big air and slope and all that shit. I wish I was good at that shit. I can ski and snowboard. Both decent. I wish I

was a surfer. What did we say yesterday? What's the hottest profession? Yeah. Girls surfing, for sure. Well, I was saying from a guy's point of view. I mean, girls surfers are hot, too. But as a guy, I think if you're like, I'm a surfer, pro surfer, it's pretty much... I mean, you're a swimmer

with a board. I think a lot of girls. She's like, that's what everyone does. Yeah, you're probably like a dime a dozen for you. But I think the vast majority of girls would at least be intrigued by that, if not like, holy shit. I think pro skaters. Skaters?

Skateboard. More so than like pro regular baseball, basketball, football athletes. I mean, yeah, for me. Yeah. No? No. I'm like, I like everybody so far. I like, you play a sport

you might have a chance yes I prefer comedians make them laugh yeah make them laugh I was gonna say a handyman yeah

Johnny Sins yes oh my god did you see the gif I just posted it was like a no nut November like Johnny Sins said

or I'm gonna fuck your mom your sister and my brother's like I'm going to fuck your mom, your sister. And my brother's like, I'm going to post that. You already fucked my sister. And I was like, don't post that. That's funny. My poor brothers have been scarred. My brothers will give me a list of people who I cannot fuck.

Dude, that's Phoenix Marie being your brother. That's cool that you have the no-fly list. Who's on the list? He just came up with a brand new girl. I don't even know her yet. He's like, this girl is a no-go. Do not fuck her because his favorite was Diamond Kitty

and I did all Diamond Kitty's anal scenes. Oh, so you mean porn stars that you can't fuck? I thought you meant athletes. He's my favorite player. They're kind of ner him. Oh, no. They don't. They're kind of nerdy. So that's fair. Like I will watch.

This is the girl that I like to watch. And I can never worry that you might pop up. Yeah. Because they've all had it happen at one point. I had never even considered this world of having a porn star sibling. Because like he can't even really. You go to Pornhub, like you might pop up. You know what I mean? 100%. I don't want to be a bottom gift.

Jordy's going to be flipped the whole time. What does he do? A lot of them are like, I just go to Xvideos instead of Pornhub. That's not going to happen. I was going to say, you need to search

German girl that doesn't speak English. Once we were in la we were doing uh i think we're doing a show out there or something like that and we were just like in this casual little dive bar playing pool all night and we're just talking to this girl and and we were playing pool with her and like while we were playing pool i was like she says she's bending over or whatever moving her body she's like a sundress and i was just like damn i'm noticing a lot of bruises on this girl and then as the night wore on we're like so what do you do she's like i just got back from germany doing porn and i was like jesus christ oh no no that's like germany goes

hard germany anything i've ever seen in germany is uh was the one? Because Veronica Avlov used to go there all the time where it's like... The gangbang site? Yeah, the gangbang, but it's like they have an anal one where it's like mandatory trying to fit five dicks in your asshole. What? It's in Europe or it's in Germany specifically? It's in Germany specific. Why? It was Proxy Page runs it now actually which is funny because i met proxy whenever

she was brand new and she like sat on a bed post and that's how jason found her was he was on campsite and he goes could you sit on the bed post and the girl like sat on the bed like you know think about this size right and like just sat on it and like went all the way down he goes perfect he goes phoenix I got a scene for you. And I was like, okay. And I'm like, how'd you find her?

Get out the bed frame and the torch. Let me use the torch on her. That was a form of torture back in medieval times. Not torture, it's how they would kill you. They set you on a post and then you just slowly it just rips yeah because once it gets past the transverse

colon to that it can't go past but do you think there's a point where like it would happen to people when they came first uh for 90 of the men yes like the first couple minutes i'm like i need it to slide down i'm like i know i'm gonna die quicker but hold on Like, right before a minute, you're like, this isn't even torture. I'm feeling good. I'm like, I need it to slide down. I'm like, I know I'm going to die quicker, but hold on. Okay, I got it. Thanks. Right before it gets really, really bad, it's really, really good.

Pull it back up. Pull it back up. You missed one. G-spot. Do it again. Do it again. Do it again. Bro, you can still do it.

Your goal can be accomplished. Let me just get one more ride. I'll just be like, can we use the rope? Can we use the rope on the neck? All right, now you're getting strangled and anal. Yes, perfect. Going back to what translates the most, I feel like it's pretty crazy how common choking has become in regular sex.

Yes, I agree. I feel like that's pretty par for the course okay which is wild it's a it's a control thing for us women like we want to be controlled and it's a great way for you to establish dominance now 90 of men do it wrong or women as we all know we've had a lot of girls that we've done scenes with who have tried and they suck but it's like a control thing it's like i love you and then it's all about the taking the air away and then kissing and pushing your air into them whenever you're making out when you take it off that is that's the right way to do it when you say it's the wrong way to do it wrong way to do it is like

if you're pushing down on their trachea like right here and you hear that octave don't do it it's all about being up here because that's actually where the airway constricts. And then you just push up there. And the next thing you know, they go night-night. And then you slap, slap, slap, slap, slap. And then they wake up. There is a world where – Morse is not allowed to be in it.

From what I've heard, we're like, you are like six degrees separation from like a serial killer. You know all the pressure points. You know the fucking electrocution. We're going back to the murder. Yeah, that's why. If you guys weren't like lovers, you'd be killers.

That's why I have done some fucked up things with Angela. To me. To me. To me. What are you guys, carrying me to me she's still sitting here so she's safe yeah but it's right you know you know like your biology your physiology yeah the pressure points the this the pleasure points i know all of them because i also have the nurse stuff right so i do the mt and the nursing so for me like i can literally like fuck a chick up and know just how to like hit all

these little spots. And then they're like convulsing. And then next thing you know, I bring them back. Bro. I've seen this criminal minds episode. I'm never going to be invited back to any talk show. Anything.

It's called a guardian angel. Oh my God. I've seen that show. Yeah. It's called a guardian angel. Oh, my God. I've seen that show. It's complex, right? Yeah, complex. You kill them and bring them back. You kill them and bring them back. Phoenix adds the coming twist to it.

But the other guy wasn't quite as kind in the show. But you guys are in town for Exotica? Yeah. Yeah. I saw Bella just posted that. She hasn't been since 2019. Have you guys been more recently than that I think yeah we did last year

Exotic is kind of like a comic con but like porn like a porn convention yeah pretty much like if you're smart you go get all the cards from all the girls and then you get a deck

do you do you do the I've seen I've never been to a porn convention but I've seen many clips and things like that come where is it

it's in Jersey isn't it yes I feel like I've heard her say that before. Come. Come to me right now. I just had like a Pavlov's dog thing. This weekend. He's like, I'm working on it.

You said it a couple more times. We have a problem. Vroom, vroom. But seriously, you should come to me. Where is it? This is my intro. I was just saying this. When people tell me to do things, I do them. Where is it here's this is my show i was just saying this when people tell me to do things i do them where where is it new jersey how far where is it edison north jersey

is that too far when is it this weekend friday sunday you got three days man we'll talk okay wait always use the girls are free to get in. So if you want to get your girls. On Friday. On Friday, yeah. It allows you to get the girls worked up and then you take them home and be like, listen, now choke on it like she did, bitch. And it's perfect. I know, like, are you going to kick guys in the dick?

I've seen a lot of clips of that. Do people come up to you like that? Oh, you saw that? Yeah. I've seen many people do that. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you saw that? That's what I do now

what runs through your head because now we do meet and greets and we do things like that and obviously nothing like that it's very different but sometimes

when but if I did come in a gimp suit and requested that you kick me in the pussy would you would you

I think you're too much of a pussy to do it and in a good way I think you'll do pretty much anything told to you I don't think you would kick a girl in the pussy. Would you? Would you? I think you're too much of a pussy to do it. And in a good way. You'll do pretty much anything told to you. I don't think you would kick a girl in the pussy. I was just going to say... He's too much of a gentleman. What if it was a guy?

You kick a guy in the dick before you kick a girl. That's for sure. I would reluctantly do the guy. I would... Because you know how it feels. No, but there's something like... If you asked me to punch you in the stomach or something, I would I would because you know how it feels there is something yeah no no but there's something like if you ask me to like punch you in the stomach or something

or I don't know I would do that if you're getting off on me kicking you in the balls I'd feel weird yeah you know I'm like this is

I know this is sexual you little pervert so I'm not doing it if you want me to just like you know punch you in the face I don't know whatever I'll do that

but we've had like fans just be like you want to do a video for my friend back home or whatever and obviously this is very different. It's apples and oranges.

But you're kind of like, all right, I don't really feel like doing this, but I'll do it. Is that kind of what you guys are like? Oh, no. I love it. You love it? I love that. Yeah, we do like fucked up videos. We're like, yeah, you little bitch.

You didn't show up, but your friend did. So now I'm going to suck his dick instead of yours. So next time, X, Y, Z, you should show up. And then we're like, hand it back to him. No, the the ball busting yeah i love that i love when my fans turn up in latex a full gimp suit and stuff and then they have the collar and chain i can lead them around i love to ride them i'll get them down on their hands and knees i'll ride their back and then she's so little it's just like oh look how

cute she's got a little puppy dog following her but i only like it because they like it like i'm not actually i'm not a you're not getting off no i don't get off on it sexually i just i enjoy it because they're enjoying it it's just that's one thing like like when the like when your mouth like the gimp suit is like covering you or when they like really freeze you in the latex. Oh, yeah. Take the air out. That's so sick.

That's fucking crazy. No, if you cellophane wrap, that's when I'm like, fuck. What do you do? Like, what am I going to do? I have to speak up. Yeah, you know, wrapping a whole body in cellophane. You know, you lay down like De whole body in cellophane. You're in your kill room. You know, you lay down like Dexter.

Drain all the blood. I've seen Dexter. I know how it goes. I've also only seen Phoenix in all black. So, like, it's just getting further and further down this rabbit hole. I've uncovered something is what I'm getting at here. All right. Well, so if you want to show up to Exotica, you can show up in anything you want.

Ask the girls to do some crazy shit. Has there ever been a time you said no? Oh, sure. I'm sure there's a million. Yeah, sure. What's one that sticks out? Have sex with me right now. I feel like there's got to be guys being like, I'm just going to shoot my shot.

Maybe she'll do it right now. They always shoot. A lot of them shoot their shot. I mean, even simple things like, can I get a kiss on the cheek? Like, I've got lipstick on. I don't know you. If I kiss you on the cheek,

then I have to kiss a hundred people that's in the line. So even though it seems like very simple, also I know the trick, the kiss on the cheek trick so i'm just like no but you had guys literally run at me and i'm in like giant ass hills and then they jump because they want me to catch them like jordy oh and i'm like i'd stop that shit let no but they're like right in front of you and they're like full speed and then they like jump it and i'm like catching them and then i like caught them and i put them down they're like right in front of you and they're like full speed. And then they like jump it and I'm like catching them. And then I like caught them and I put them down and they're like, John size.

And I'm like, what the fuck is this? That's crazy. And I'm like, put them down. I'm like, why? Why did you run at me? And he goes, I knew you'd catch me. And I'm like, you fucker. Oddly romantic.

In a weird way, it's a very respectful. It's like like I caught you now you can go jerk off later bye and I literally looked at the guy I was like

give me $20 right fucking now before I kick your ass I will put this 20 is cheap yeah that's cheap I feel like you guys

can charge like whatever you want and there'll be somebody willing to pay it right what's the what's the craziest thing that you've gotten the

most money for like has there ever been a guy it's like 20 grand for like a pair of your underwear or something crazy i mean they all buy all that stuff i mean my craziest experience probably be an abn like a guy told me they wanted he wanted to watch me bleed and like okay menstrually or no that was what's crazy is i had nicky ben's on one side monique alexander it was right as browsers required wicked so i have like electro blue like all the ogs right and then this guy is like six five trench coat he coat. He's like, he gets to the front. I'm like, having a good time. And he goes, I want to watch you bleed.

And I just look. And I'm like, do-do-do. And I go, Nikki runs. Monique bolts. Security didn't hear it. And I'm like, okay, listen. I was like, you want to watch me bleed? How?

Like, my period. You want to slit my throat? And I'm like okay listen i was like you want to watch me bleed how like my period you want to slip my throat and i'm like i know i got this well please slip my throat and then fuck me with my blood from my throat and wherever else you want xoxo phoenix marine and i slid it over to him he took it looked at it looked at me looked at it and he goes and then left what and so ever since then like i carry a knife in my bag and I was like, just in case. Just in case a guy has a request.

Yeah. I was like, bro. So you really are so close to being a murderer. Like, you have a bad day and you might just become Dexter. You got a knife, you know the body points,

you know the cleanup. I mean, holy shit. It's like in Sunny where they find the book of anatomy in Max's room. And he's like, you haven't been curious about your own body, Frank? I caught you doing a little research last night. Oh my god.

Well, I'm sure you'll get a lot of requests. Everybody can go check it out. It's in Addison, New Jersey. Exotica. And you can go find Angela and Phoenix there. Yeah, you know where to find them. You know how to find them. Thank you, guys. Thank you very much.

Whoa. You're a wild one, girl. Whoa. What? Thank God my fans are so sweet. Why not two? What do you mean? It's just like blood

yeah exactly sheesh I'm like next time I come back I'm stealing one of these footballs you take that one it was just awarded to me

I'm like no I have to wait makes me have to come back because then you guys can't get rid of me forever you're the best thank you. សូវាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប� Thank you. Bye.