KFC Radio - Uncle Feits and the Kids Pt. 2 || Max Greenfield and Michael Kosta

Episode Date: June 21, 2022

- Pavs and Feits both admit to applying tanning lotion - Feits might get fake nudes leaked because of some papers he signed at the airport - Jackie's drunken airport ordeal - Bras are out / pirate nips - Be Real App - Feits has a bone to pick with Trent and Frankie - Pavs wants to know why girls post pictures with their hot dads - Video Voicemails - Max Greenfield Interview on Hank Ria Drama, New Girl, a shocking fact about playing Madden with Jake Johnson, and much more - Michael Kosta on his Tennis Podcast, Working on the Daily Show, Comedy Central and much more ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Timecodes: 0:00 - The boys self tan 1:22 - Airport stories 19:06 - Bras are out 22:52 - Be Real App 25:43 - Bone to Pick with Trent and Frankie 31:15- girls posting their hot dads 38:10 - Video Voicemails 1:00:50 - Max Greenfield Interview 1:26:35 - Michael Kosta Interview ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Betterhelp: Go to https://barstool.link/BHKFC for 10% off your first month Simplisafe: Customize the perfect system for your home at https://barstool.link/Simplisafekfc Roman: Go to https://barstool.link/ROMANkfc to get your first month of Swipes for just $5 when you choose a monthly plan. Curve: Go to https://barstool.link/CurveBSS to enter their waitlist.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. I have a... I have a bone to pick with arguably two of my favorite people in this company. I have a bone to pick with Trent and Frankie. real quick fights guess who uh also tried bronzer for the first time last night? Yeah! Yeah, baby! I was going to say you looked like you. I couldn't let you go out. I couldn't let you go out if you're the only one.

Can we text about these things? I just saw it. Somebody called me paleo day. I saw it on CBS. I saw it on home. I said, fuck you. It's like natural glow or something. Natural glow.

That's exactly what I got. I was in the lotion section we're in Chicago and I was like all right you know what I should be a bad little girl natural glow in you fourth of July coming off I've been using it exclusively for a week now yeah so just you guys know it's called self tanner no it's not self tanner it is it's just body lotion but it just has like a natural it's like it has like it's not self tanner it's not a fake, but it just has like a natural. It's like it has like it's not self-tanner. It's not a fake tan thing. It's not self-tanner.

It's not self-tanner. Okay, that's the show. We're starting now. Kevin is not here, so it's going to be a little chaotic because I don't know how to run a show. What am I supposed to say here? Welcome to KFC Radio on the Barstool Sports Network That's definitely an opening thing Subscribe, leave a comment

We have Michael Costa And Max Greenfield on the show today What up Schmidt Schmidt tells you something that is genuinely insane That him and Jake Johnson used to do But we are going to run through A couple of segments A couple of things to talk about

We just got back from our live show in Chicago. It was excellent. Maybe our best one to date. I don't know. I just say that every time now. No, I think that one was definitely the smoothest. Even just watching. Everything blended together perfectly.

And the crowd was very into it. I got hyped up for the crowd. They were doing the clap thing. I was like, let's fucking go, dude. up what the crowd would be doing at the clap thing dude but I guess the first thing we need to talk about is is what I did in the airport yesterday when I just signed ten pieces blank pieces of paper oh I so much has happened since then yes for me I think I totally forgot about that yeah you're gonna get your needs to still I don't the whole is like, you are the dumbest person alive.

You're a fucking idiot. I wouldn't have thought anything of it until I saw one response. And then I realized, oh, yeah, they could just print whatever they want over that. But what are they going to do? What are they going to do? First of all, someone already has my identity, and they are just waiting to steal all my money. I've told you this. It's when I got one uh one of those like um the micro loans oh yeah i got a micro loan to buy drugs when i was 20

and i gave them all of my all my social security i gave them everything they never gave me the money and uh they are definitely just waiting watching me watching my, which I'll tell you what, guys, it's about time to pull it. We're riding real high right now. This is going to come plummeting down very quickly, very soon. But what could those guys possibly... First of all, it was glossy paper. So someone replied to me...

So it's like photo paper. And then we took two pictures, and someone replied that they do that with celebrities, which is a strong, weak use of that word. They do that with celebrities, and then they Photoshop nudes onto the glossy paper, and then my autograph acts as a confirmation, a certificate of authenticity. And I hope to fuck that happens. Like, I really, really hope that someone out there fucking Photoshop me onto me naked onto glossy photo paper and then tries to sell my naked body because I can't imagine anyone paying $10. I mean, what they're probably going to do is Photoshop an actual picture onto it and.

But your regular picture and I have bad news for you boys no one's gonna buy that i was gonna say i the only photo i know of you like completely shirtless was that like before your guys weigh in one like that everyone always posts to make fun of you saying like you have tits um i have big tits the but that i think i think what they're actually gonna do is they're gonna they're gonna to Photoshop the pictures that we took together. Oh, yeah. And then they're going to show it. But that's what no one's going to buy that, guys.

You are going to waste your time Photoshopping those. Literally no one's going to buy that. It's a crazy move to think that someone is going to buy an autographed picture of me. It's fucking insane. It is like the second somebody brought it up, I was like, it would be very easy to be like, you signing over this. All they have to do is print two lines and then put their signature after and be like, the four sign person is signing over to this person. There's no way that holds up in a court of law, though. There's no way that's a real thing.

Dude, I still think that that piece of paper of you and Kevin signing a certificate of marriage could hold up in a court of law no it can't we didn't go to a courthouse that's fucking captain cons cannot get us legally man but he's ordained it was in front of a group of people based on movies that's all you need okay well i didn't realize we were based on movies you're correct everything i know off uh which by the way wait wait until February. Like, see what... Like, check it out. Divorce number two coming right up. But yeah, I don't think anything can happen. But that is the second most interesting thing that happened at the airport yesterday.

The one would be Jackie. I am going to have Jackie's back slightly here. First of all, I would have felt bad if you weren't the one who we were waiting for outside the hotel. Wait! Wait, wait, wait. I don't think that...

Oh, was that... Okay, we also all were down pretty late. What's that? We also all were pretty late. I think I got We also all were pretty late. I think I got to car at 9.20. Okay. And what time did I show up downstairs? 9.38.

Okay. Sorry to keep you waiting. Was this before or after you guys dropped the stuff for me to pick up? At the same time. Got it. Oh, no, no, no. I'm sorry. Right before.

We did one lap around the block. Got it. Oh, yes. So if we hadn't done that one lap around the block for you... You might be right. Because he was seconds. I literally... Pav's never watching

his two bags go on the conveyor... Okay, I'll explain it. Sorry. So, we go to the airport, right? Paz and I, you go get us some, like you don't have to check on bags. Paz and I had to check on these two fucking tripods bags,

which I am a big fan. Those tripods ruined your weekend. They ruined my weekend. They ran your shit. Can I ask a question here? What? What's a tripod run you? Those ones are pretty expensive

$200-$300 but in the end, but they were rented they were rented. If they were just parcel tripods, I would have said fuck them like Monday and Tuesday when she had a run all around. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If they weren't rented, that could fucking stop with the rental company. I didn't want

to risk any of that. I got you. I still would have i still would have paid $400 $600 whatever it wasn't like fuck it yeah these tripods i would have thrown them right in the trash i'm not sitting in the airport for fucking would you say eight hours there well no so then i okay so no no so so then i um i go okay so then so then pass there and checking him on he does it first i I my second issue was like I had a little bit of trouble like pulling it up and what up pull sorry sorry pulling up like the because I had already paid I paid $70 to check these bags on so I was like trying to find my

email showing that I had paid the money and I was trying to scan that and scan my boarding pass, but like, I just couldn't find it. Pabst is the first, he gets his fine. And then I go and it doesn't let me. And I was like, what's going on?

So I forget. So like I asked the people and they're like, oh, you're too late. And I was like, no, I'm not too late. Like he just did.

And they were like, no, it has to be 45 minutes. You have to like check them on 45 minutes before, which is absurd. Like they should tell you no, it has to be 45 minutes. You have to, like, check them on 45 minutes before, which is absurd. Like, they should tell you that. Oh, they sure do. Okay. They should be more clear, like, really tell

you that. So then, so then... They say two hours before. Whatever, whatever. Oh, my God. The point was that, like, Pavs did it, and they were like, you probably missed it by seconds. I see his two tripods going on the conveyor belt to go back, and I was like, I know that you guys can fit it on.

I know. If you guys can fit his on, I know that you can just have them on. They were like, no, I'm sorry. I didn't know you'd already paid for it, too. That is fucking insane. You are right. You are. I had your back on Twitter yesterday.

Thank you. I appreciate that. You are fine. You should have been allowed on that plane. You had bought it already. The fact that you were standing there being like, here are the bags, and then they were like, ah, never mind. You just missed it by seconds.

No, I've been standing here. The moment you come over here, then I'm in. Even if it takes you a little while to find the confirmation, like, you've brought me over. We have started this transaction. I am in. Yes. I paid.

I know that they could have. They obviously could have do you want to get really upset what when i was walking onto the plane they were like your bag looks a little big we'll put it underneath oh my fucking that's what i also was thinking american airlines where's the camera yeah now now despite all this like i am i do have your back i'm on your side what was our level of inebriation okay yeah that i'll get to wait i just want to say one more thing um um then then so then he was like okay so you have to get on a new flight we'll put you on the 4 p.m flight maybe or we'll put you on standby for the 4 p.m flight then he was like, okay, so you have to get on a new flight. We'll put you on the 4 p.m. flight, maybe. Or we'll put you on standby for the 4 p.m. flight. And I was like.

You better be so lucky that you weren't on the fucking 4 p.m. flight. And he was like, actually, we can't do that. We're going to put you on standby for the 6 p.m. flight. Maybe you'll get on. And I was like, okay, so what happens if I don't get on the 6 p.m. flight? He's like, I don't know. I don't have a way of looking it up. And I was like, dude, I could look that up.

And he looked at me and he was like done with me he was like yeah i don't even know if you're gonna get on the 6 p.m flight so i'd figure it out i was like fuck you okay so then did they did they drop a next in your face because i got a next drop in my face with one of those responses oh no where it's like yeah that's just what happens next and i'm like are you fucking kidding me like yeah yeah they they he did not like me he didn't do that but he did not like me so then obviously a normal person would have waited in the airport until their flight which was not too many it was like 12 at that point so like i could have waited it out and for some reason like i ubered all the way back to the hotel and then i was like why did i just do that and i was i saw when he posted from the cheesecake factory i'm like is that the one

next to our hotel because i thought there was one in the airport and then when i got to the airport at like two i looked at the thing i'm like oh she went all the way back yeah yeah don't tell the expenses team about this but i it was a earmuffs what it was like a 50 60 uber back but i think i think in my head i was like i was so hung over and drunk at the same time i was like cheesecake factory sounds really good right now i think i like in my head was like we're gonna go to cheesecake factory i don't know why i had to go to like all the way back to the hotel cheesecake factory. Anyway, so then I went. Michigan Avenue to O'Hare is 45 minutes to an hour. I don't know why.

And then I, so then as soon as I got back, I was like, why did I just do that? Like, I don't know. I just did that. And then I was in the cheesecake factory and let me tell you, great move. Nurse, I had. Are you still drunk now? No, no. I don't know. When I get drunk,

when I drink, I'm sorry, I feel like I'm talking so much right now. You're doing great. When I drink, I am drunk for the whole next day. I know that makes me sound like an alcoholic and I drink a lot. I think I just have a really slow metabolism where it's like, I'm

so sick of being drunk at this point. I'm so sick of being drunk at this point. Like, I'm so sick of being drunk. Did you eat? What did you eat the day that you drank? I didn't eat anything like the whole day. So like, that was probably what. When I asked her, she's like, I had those chips in the green room. I'm like.

I had a smoothie before, too. Like, I mean, I did like eat, but. That's not. Oh, yeah. I'm sorry. Okay. So, but that was probably where I went wrong. I don't even want to.

I don't even want. I know I was probably. I don't even want. Was I bad? What? Was I bad that night? No. Okay, cool, but that was probably where I went wrong. I don't even want to, I don't even want, I know I was probably, I don't even want, was I bad? What? Was I bad that night? No. Okay, cool.

I told you that yesterday. I was like, I could tell you were drunk, but you weren't bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Anyways, so then I'm chilling at the CP factory. You talked to my mom for a while. That was kind of weird. What?

You talked to my mom for a while. I do remember that. Yeah. I don't know what I said there. Anyways. And then, okay, yeah, then I met the Cheesecake Factory. You didn't answer my question for the inebriation. I think you explained it when you got an Uber back to the Cheesecake Factory.

So I think the answer is 10. But even without that uber ride i could have told you it was a 10 because i was in a car with you and we watched jackie facetime her family her family's unbelievable by the way it was like she was like i feel bad i'm being rude in the car i wish you talked the entire time it was awesome but she ended it with, to her father on Father's Day, Jackie's got to go. Which is one of the most insane moves I've ever seen. Unbelievable line. Jackie's got to go.

It's funny because then I talked to them that night. And I brought up, I was like, yeah, are you guys just like, because they're very unfazed by me at this point. I was like, did you even catch that? They're like, no, I don't question anything that you say anymore. So it was just funny. But yeah, that I was pretty, I don't actually really

remember that phone call. I texted you at 3, it was 3.30 central and you were like, yeah, I still think I'm pretty drunk still because that was a drunk decision to go to Cheesecake Factory. I was like, Jackie, it's 3.30. She goes, yeah, I know. I just get drunk like the entire next day and then you and then you went to the bean and then i went to the bean were you drinking at the cheesecake factory no no no i

literally didn't have a single sip of alcohol the entire day and like by the time i was like we're into the airport i was like oh my god i'm so tired of being drunk like i just want to sober up but i couldn't sober up for the fucking life of me. Yes, then I went to the Bean. Who took the picture? A cone in my phone self-timing. Yeah. As you can see in the thing. The people that caught that in the screenshot, because I was trying to figure out,

I thought maybe you guys went on the way, because we talked about it. We're like, we've got to get her to the Bean. So I'm actually pretty glad that you didn't get on that flight, because we needed that photo. You just went alone. Sober. Or at least you hadn't been drinking that flight because that like we needed that photo you just went alone sober or at least not you hadn't been drinking yep i yeah it was pretty it was pretty like i i felt pretty lame when i was taking the self-timer photos i mean it was a perfect picture just though yeah i had to i knew i had to i had to take one for the team so yeah and then when she met up with

me later uh at the airport i was only able to met up with me later at the airport, I was only able to meet up with her for a few minutes. And I was like, oh, where are you at? When's your flight? She's like, oh, it's 6-0. This is what she says. 6-0-4. I'm here.

I'm going to throw up real quick, and then I'll come find you. I finally sobered up. Did you see the photo she posted? No. Oh, my God. Jackie's the best. Yeah, my mom was like, tell me that was just for content. You didn't throw up in an airport bathroom.

I was like, no. I threw up so much in an airport bathroom. O'Hare International Airport is amazing. It was disgusting. Dude, that is so fucking gross. It was so gross. To be sitting, like, not the puke itself, but to be sitting. Dude, you know, like, airports, people do big shits in airports.

Don't tell me that. What do you mean? Like, airport is a shit spot. Everyone shits in the airport. Okay, okay, I know. I had to. I had to get it out. So you just sat that close to a toilet where someone dumped it.

Not 20 minutes before. I hovered. I obviously wasn't licking the toilet seat. I mean, you were pretty goddamn close to that seat. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're kind of hugging it. It was bad. The last thing I'm going to do about the airport travels and all that was Pavs.

Pavs had in all time texts. Father's Day. Paz's dad was supposed to pick him up at the airport. And what happened instead, Paz? So I texted my dad, happy Father's Day. Thank you so much for everything that you do for me. Appreciate it. And I love you.

And he had plans to pick me up from the airport at 2.55. And all he sends back is directions on how to get home. That's awesome. The more you tell me about your dad, the more I want to be. That is fucking unbelievable. Just a fucking, just to reply like, what, like he googled directions?

He's like, this is how you get to Jamaica and they take the train home. That's awesome. No, like, thanks, son. We spoke later that night and we had a nice conversation But in the moment It was just

This is how you get known That is fucking amazing That is absolutely unbelievable Okay Today's episode Is brought to you by SimpliSafe Your home should be

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wrong in the beginning. Simplisafe.com slash KFC Radio. Again, that's simplisafe.com slash KFC Radio. The other thing I have to do, actually I have a few things. Are bras out? Are bras out for the fall?

For the summer in new york definitely dude i want i just walked here today i saw 12 nipples yeah it is it is crazy every day i keep a running kind of how many nipples i've seen if it was an odd number i'd be a little more you ever just see that You ever just see a random single tit? One time? Oh, yeah. Yeah. We were at a bar once and a girl just.

Oh. We're all just like, oh, free titty. All right. Cool. No, I thought I meant like someone's like one nipple's hard, the other one's still soft still. Oh, yeah. I don't often see.

Looks like somebody winking. Yeah. That keeps happening to me. What? That keeps happening to me recently. I don't know why. You get one hard nipple, one soft? Yeah.

I shouldn't have said that. Oh, one nip Jackie, they call her. Jackie's like a pirate. Remember when I talked about how like I got electrocuted on one side at one point and like how like yes I did I remember saying that there was one time I like

accidentally was plugging in something and ever since then like hair doesn't really grow that much on this side like my armpit like everything like this this is like not I don't think it like, like, everything, like, this face, this is, like, not, I don't think it was this shock, but I just noticed that

this whole side of me is, like, a little uneven compared to this one. Ever since the shock, the only one that is hard to look at. You got electrocuted having soft nip?

Yes, I literally killed a nipple or something. So you don't go, like, like, the hair on your legs? No mean it does it does it's just like at a slower pace like i have to shave this armpit like more not necessarily it's almost like your fingernails and your toenails so much about me i might still be drunk having spoken to you for 20 minutes now, that is a pretty good chance.

But like, so like, it's like half the speed? Like fingernails and toenails? You know how you cut your toenails basically every other time you cut your fingernails? I don't necessarily think it's that, but I just think like this, there was other things.

It's like... This could explain your coordination. I have, yeah. I've always kind of been like that, but yeah. When did this electrocution happen? Year and a half ago or something. Were you working here?

Was it here? Yeah. It would have been, no, it was in college. I guess it was two years ago. Two, three years ago when I did graduate. What year is it? You graduated about a year and a half ago. Okay, it was in my senior house.

So I just remember like plugging something in and then like it went all the way the reason I think is because it went all the way up my armpit to my armpit

and then it like stopped growing hairs rapidly and then I noticed my face was kind of droopier but I was like I think that's just I think I just realized did you have a stroke?

you're describing a stroke I gotta stop fucking talking okay that is Describing a shroke. I gotta stop fucking talking. Okay. That is... I don't know. That is that. So that was all because I was wondering if bras are out for the summer. We learned that Jackie has eye patch nipples.

Pirate Jackie. Everyone call her Captain Jack Captain Jack Ahoy matey Another thing I have to do Right now Is I have to Have you heard of this app Be Real?

Oh, yeah. You've heard of that, Be Real? Yeah. I know a bunch – yeah. So I thought Be Real was such a cool idea. I learned about it. It is basically like the anti-Instagram where you don't get to have these curated photos and all this stuff. It is every day you get a push notification.

You have two minutes to take a picture of what you're doing. Okay. And then it uploads the app and everyone uploads it. Is this the Go Bricks thing? I do not know the answer to that. Every day you get a push notification. You have two minutes to take a picture of what you're doing. Okay. And then it uploads to the app. Is this the David Dobrik thing? I do not know the answer to that. Is this where it's like you can't see the photo until the next day, and it just posts the next day?

I don't know. I don't think so. No, that's something else. It's supposed to be like disposable camera. Yeah. This one's cooler. It takes the fakeness out of it. And so I i i saw i think it was bailey carlin tweeted about it so then i downloaded the app today being like you know what that's cool i like that like none of this fucking fake shit and um it immediately prompted me to take a photo and i was like i'm not doing anything

cool so i literally had the app and was honest with the app for 30 fucking seconds. It was immediately. I was on the couch watching the blacklist in my underwear. And I was like, this is ridiculous. I think you should commit to that. That would be funny because we've talked about for years, I feel like, getting you to post more photos on Instagram. And if you just were like, I'm sorry, the app told me to. Yeah, alright, follow

Feidelberg on Be Real. I will make a solemn promise. It's not like Instagram. It's all on its own thing. Yeah, do you follow each other, or is it friends? Who is each other? Is it friends? I followed Hank. Hank was... I checked which of my contacts have... It also takes front and back picture, doesn't it?

Oh, that's dangerous. I think that's what it does. That's real dangerous. That's a good note. I think that's part of it. So it's not just like a selfie. I'm pretty sure it takes also the picture of like... Really? I don't think...

I don't know. I don't know. Because I did at least... I opened it when it was like, take a picture. I opened it and was going to, and I was like, you look fucking terrible. I was unshowered. I was watching The Blacklist terrible I was I was unshowered I was watching the blacklist I was shirtless in my underwear and it was I I did I was trying to find a way to make it postable and it just there just wasn't like I was flipping the camera around and then I was like I had like

the blanket over my boxers but it looked like I was just naked yeah so I I was like well I can't I could have just put on a shirt and we know. Now that we know it's front and back, too. I don't know. It was letting me flip it. So that would be weird if it's front and back and it lets you flip it because I don't know. I don't know. Whatever.

Anyway, the point here is that social media has broken our brains to the point that I cannot take a picture because I'm like, it doesn't look sick enough. So yeah, you follow me on Be Real. Last thing, I have a bone to pick with arguably two of my favorite people in this company. I have a bone to pick with Trent and Frankie.

Okay? This is, today is the one year anniversary of New York City opening back up. Foo Fighters at MSG. Oh, wow. And I have,

I have neglected to bring this up because I didn't know where Trent and Frankie have been. You know, I don't really hang out on that side of the office

anymore. And I knew they've been on the road a lot. So I thought maybe they hadn't seen it. But I know they were here this weekend. So I imagine they came to the office. I know that it's been a year. So there's a pretty good chance Frankie's seen it.

But because they're two of my favorite people in the office, I have bought them both presents recently. One year ago today, I bought Frankie a Foo Fighters t-shirt, and I left it on his desk. And then more recently, I bought Trent a John Mayer t-shirt, because he couldn't make the John Mayer concert at MSG. I left them both on their desks. To be fair, I did not leave a note, so they don't know who they came from. But I have heard nothing. I have not heard someone go, who got don't know who they came from. But I have heard nothing. I have not heard someone go, who got me this shirt?

I got you this shirt, motherfuckers. I got you those shirts. I got you a Foo Fighters shirt, Frankie. I got you a John Bear t-shirt, Trent. No one said thank you. What are the odds somebody stole it? Do we know if they have them? I have no idea if they have them, which is why it's a light bone I'm picking here.

And even if they do have them and didn't say thank you, I obviously don't give a shit. I'm just making podcast content. But if anyone's wondering who got them from now on, if you are at Barstool Sports and there's a mysterious concert t-shirt from one of your favorite artists, I got it for you. That was me. I'm going to start just dropping them. That's fine because I had

to cover my bases and now I get all my thank yous. Do they have any reason to think it was you? They both know I was at the shows. It's on you. Well, sure. Everything's on me. But the it is

I would think a tweet you would put out to you, who the fuck got me this? And I reply, I would think a tweet, you would put out a tweet, you go, who the fuck got me this? And I reply, I got you that. That's, I probably should have left a note. You're right. A hundred percent. I should have left a note.

However. How pissed would you be like if you found out they did get it and just like Tommy Smokes is like, got you. I can see that. That'd be a great Tommy bit. Just like, it was me. To be fair, I have not seen either of them wearing them, so they definitely might not have them.

I have been keeping a lookout to see if Trent or Frankie were wearing. I got Trent just like a white Sob Rock. John Mayer. Frankie was a year ago, so I don't really remember. I think it was just a black Foo Fighters t-shirt, MSG, whatever. Not a big deal. I'm definitely not overly concerned with it as it's been a full fucking year, and I'm still on the forefront of my mind.

I was going to say, this is like the third, fourth time I've heard about this. I bring it up pretty regularly. It's like their birthdays around Christmas. Just got to remind you guys. Thank people for gifts. Yeah. Oh, got a Be Real notification. Oh, it's fucking you.

Gross. Oh, God. That was so disappointing. You say that every time I walk in, so it's okay, man. Dude, I was so pumped. I was like, hell yeah, Be Real's going to ask me for another picture. I could have taken one. I've been doing some

Cool I've been doing podcasting Said fucking Zach Fucking followed me I'm gonna block you dude God damn I think he's actually Gonna block me

Wait Wait I can still take a B-Real Yeah so I think Oh Yeah Yeah Woo Smile Say smile Oh it is It is it oh yeah yeah whoo smile

smile oh it is it is and do I want to allow to use my location no don't allow that yeah it is front and back big time all right my first my first be real two hours late yeah

I had to wait till I was doing something cool I don't like that front back yeah are you able to share like to Instagram and stuff no I don't think so I got a request

oh it's you again god damn it dude I didn't do anything how do I just do this so I just have like like it just I don't want to request every time someone

tries to be my friend like any other social media app I just let this so I just have like I don't want to request every time someone tries to be my friend. Like any other social media app, I just let people. Is there like public versus private on there? There must be. Or I guess that's part of the being real. You got to actually interact with people. Nah, in that case I'm out.

I only have one friend. Hank didn't follow me back. This sucks. I have one friend That's fucking Zach It's still Pride Month Be nice to the man You got ten days We've already got the post

For the enter Pride Month And it's Yeah we got a Yeah we got We got a great post To cap off the month We are Yeah

Yeah Is it something gay? No. It's the opposite. The opposite? Yeah. Something homophobic? Can I tell them and we just maybe cut it out?

I don't know if people would steal it. It's like not that great. No, you can't. No, don't give it away. Don't give it away. Yeah. I think you're going to like it. All right, that's a show.

I don't know what else to talk about. I got fucking nothing dude I got a I got a girl question For Jack What's up with girls For Father's Day On their story

Like the way that they wish their dad Happy Father's Day Is by just putting up Hot pictures of Their dads Yo I'm glad you brought that up There's something weird going on with all chicks.

I mean, this is like, you know, it's like an Oedipus complex with daddy issues. I've noticed it since they started going viral reels after Top Gun, where all chicks are like, when you got raised by a Top Gun, and it'd be like these fucking photo reels of their dads being hot. Then I saw girls with like athlete fathers start doing it. Yeah. It is getting weird. It's a lot of chicks trying to fuck their dads on hot. Then I saw girls with, like, athlete fathers start doing it. Yeah. It is... Very creepy.

It's getting weird. It's a lot of chicks trying to fuck their dads on Instagram. Yeah. It's uncomfortable. I don't know what to tell you. I think... I also think it's, like, a way of, like, them being like, yeah, I'm hot. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. For sure. It's like, look what my jeans are. Yeah. But, like, it's bizarre. You fucking chicks. That's a great call-out, Paz. Yeah.

Like, you weirdly want to fuck your dads a lot of you girls what's the reaction like are their friends they've got to have their friends no yeah it's their friends probably commenting back like your dad was so hot i would have fucked them but it's like that's weird they're all yeah like you they they that that at your core that means you're attracted to your dad because you're like i'm gonna post this picture and people are gonna comment how hot he is that means you're being like my dad. Because you're like, I'm going to post this picture and people are going to comment how hot he is. That means you're being like, my dad's hot. You guys are all looking at me like I'm bearing this burden.

You're more closer to wanting to fuck your dad than we are. Maybe not Zach. That was coming. Not true. You have friends who have done it. Yes. Have you asked any of them, what the fuck? First of all, some of my friends have some hot dogs.

Watch out. Phase two is starting soon. Did you see the knockoff Jackie in Barstool Idol? No. Oh, yes. Yes. Yeah. I did see that. Yeah. No, I Idol? No. Oh, yes. Yes. Yeah. I did see that.

Yeah. No, I have a replacement. I get it. I'm washed up. How old is she? I don't know. Is she dumb? Not that you're dumb.

Explain why you said that. You're not dumb. You find yourself in dumb situations, which I think I do as well. I don't think I'm a dumb person. I think I do a lot of dumb things, but I'm not a dumb person. I mean,

that photo. Danny, Danny is Jackie. Jackie is Danny. She's, uh, well, I like how,

I like how, uh, we made sure we're just still not going to have black people who work here. Like 12, 12 people. And then we didn't get one black guy. We made sure we're just still not going to have black people who work here. Ebony. Like 12 people, and then we didn't get one black guy. Dude, Juneteenth. Juneteenth falling on Father's Day this year is fucking hilarious. You brought that up at the live show.

I didn't put it together. Do you know how many dads there are that are like, on Father's Day, on Father's Day, we're yelling that Juneteenth isn't a real holiday. It's a made-up fucking holiday. Where's my Father's Day, we're yelling that Juneteenth isn't a real holiday. It's a made-up fucking holiday. Where's my Father's Day present? There are a lot of, a real lot of angry times. All right. I guess we'll do voicemails. i'm not doing top five because it's stupid

uh yeah let's do voicemails voicemails are brought to you by better help i put up an instagram last night um on my story just three separate uh slides because i thought it was so fun it was like i was watching crazy stupid love gosling i mean it's it Gosling, I mean, it's not some secret. I would argue one of the greatest characters of all time. In any movie, it is as good as it can be. But the first night he fucks Emma Stone, she's laying in bed. He doesn't fuck her. Oh, right, right, right.

The first night they're hooking up. I watched it for the first time. I think they do end up fucking. No, no, no, they fall asleep. Yeah. I watched it for the first time like two they do end up fucking i mean i don't know they fall asleep yeah um i watch that for the first time like two years ago and i think i've seen it like 15 times it's so fucking good so good but the uh she says uh like why why do you stay up all night or whatever responds, I am wildly unhappy. And then laughs. And then says, where is it?

I'm wildly unhappy. I'm trying to buy it, and it's not working. And that is like my favorite quote of all time. I am wildly unhappy. I'm trying to buy it and it's not working. I got a room full of instruments that that one just hit home. This is all to say, go to BetterHelp. This is all to say, if you are like me and you're trying to buy happiness and it's not working,

if you're like Gosling and you're trying to buy happiness and it's not working, go to better help better help online therapy wants to remind you to prioritize yourself talking with someone can help you figure out what's causing stress in your life we all have a lot of stress we all need a lot of help better help it's customized online therapy that offers video phone and even live chat sessions with your therapist so you don't have to see anyone on camera if you don't want to. I know I personally have had many a day, many a therapy session, where I wished I could have turned off the camera because of how I looked,

because of how I was drinking. You ever have a fucking live video call session with your therapist while you're drinking? Yeah. Those are times you wish you had to turn off the camera um our listeners get 10 off their first month at betterhelp.com slash kfc kfc that's better h-e-l-p.com slash kfc if you're listening to this show you need better help so go to betterhelp.com i actually use better help and my better help therapist just told me that I was her favorite. She said you're favorite?

Which I don't know what that means. I was kind of like, what does that mean? That means you needed to pick me up. That means she's like, this chick is really down bad, and I'm going to lie to her to make her feel better about herself. No, yeah. I've been using it, too, and they do like late night stuff which is awesome there's like 1130 appointments where it's like

because we work such crazy hours like I know that I can have that time like it'll be like 10 11 1130 I'm like fucking let's rip one of those real quick that is fucking awesome I did not know that that's very cool that's very very cool because there are a lot of times with a regular therapist

we're like well you only work during business hours and I work during business hours so I can't catch up very cool that's very very cool because there are a lot of times with a regular therapist where you're like well you only work during business hours and i work during business hours so i can't catch up with you yeah it makes no sense i'm like this this makes it a lot easier it's even with this peter pan job that i could just be like i'm gonna leave for an hour yeah but yeah it is it makes it a lot easier all right um voicemails time. Let's listen to them. So I only got two voicemails, but I have a voice fill of my own that I found on my phone this weekend. And it's kind of like me too, me too, too. Ask the girl that I was talking to a while back. And I just I was just going through because I need a clear space for my voicemails. So I found this one. I don't know if you guys are

able to hear it. But this was after a night that I was like, I am hanging with the boys tonight, not going to be around, and I received like 13, 14 calls, and I just kept blocking them. That's the worst. Dude, I've gotten threats about the 13, 14 calls where I don't know if it's a popular phrase, if it's a common phrase, or if she had invented it, but turbo calling, and she's like, I will turbo call you until you pick up, and it was just like 80 calls. Yeah. I had a just like 80 calls. Yeah. I had a buddy in high school.

I remember I think by the end of his cross-country practice, she hit over 200 with like 50 voicemails in there. And with the whole phone, your phone was out of commission. Because now you could still use it, but before. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going to fucking stop calling me so I can use my fucking phone's not terrible it's kind of funny it's a funny voice I just was looking through my shit just trying to clear it out the other day this is I found Mikey the Pussy have an alley.

You can go fuck yourself. Mikey the Pussy have an alley. We're only calling you that for a second. That's what Pat's dad calls him. That is clearly drunk, right the that is some like stalker level like not even like what's not even it's not even the content of it it it is the way it's said

where like it is there if a guy was saying that and i don't mean it's like as in like uh if a guy did that it wouldn't be okay i mean like, if a guy did that, it wouldn't be okay. I mean, literally, if a guy said that, it would be incredibly... Problematic. Not even problematic. It would inherently be exceptionally creepy and fucking... Threatening? Huh? It was threatening.

Yeah, threatening. That's the word I'm looking for. It would be rapey and dangerous. If I had called you, they even had some crackle. It was recorded on a record player. If I called you, it was like, Mikey the Pussy. You can go fuck yourself. It sounds like fucking.

It sounds like you're going to kill them. Who's the guy in Seinfeld? The dude who does the six separatists. Fuck, what's his name? It sounds like him, whatever his name is. I'm going to Google it. Why can't I think of his fucking name?

Crazy Joe DeVola! Crazy Joe DeVola. That is a Crazy Joe DeVola level voicemail that is very unfortunate. Joe DeVola. That is a crazy Joe DeVola level voicemail that is very unfortunate

that if we're sitting here and we're being honest, it's fucking funny. It is unfortunately that it's funny. It is. I wish I could be like, this isn't okay. This is a danger. And it's just not funny.

What did you say after that? Go fuck yourself funny you can go fuck yourself which is like it is just I guess it's very sound having beers at this point and the the best part of it all is when I got home she was there sitting in the drive it was it was at my apartment roles, you are fucking in jail. How'd you get in here? It's actually the most fucked up thing I say as a man is that I find that all funny because it's incredibly misogynistic. Like, oh, you guys think you're so dangerous. This is cute.

How'd you get in here? How'd you get in here? Did you break the lock? The window. All right. Oh, good. You're so resourceful. All right.

Next voicemail. I don't think I've ever had crazy like that. No? I mean, Nick, Zach, Jesus. Does that ever? I was actually just about to. I was going to say, this is crazy, but also, because I was looking Nick, Zach, Jesus. Does that ever? I was actually just about to. I was going to say, well, this is crazy, but also I just, because I was looking at my phone because I thought I took a note of

something this weekend, and I realized once. So the whole story I told on Pints about having to change rooms and everything, and I said I went on Grindr. When I got to my new room, I get into my room. I open Grindr. My first message I see, it's like you don't have to have a profile picture, so it was like faceless profile. And it was a 48-year-old man 48 feet away from me.

A dick pic. So he was in a hotel? Yes. Does it count levels? No, I guess not, maybe. I don't know. I've never really thought about levels. Crazy.

48, 48. That's like almost. What are the odds of that? Yeah, right. Yeah, I mean, I almost, 48. That's like almost. 48. What are the odds of that? Yeah, right. Yeah, I mean, I almost did it. Just good. You're that close.

I may as well just go next door. Like, it's not that hard. Yeah, no, gay guys are crazy. I'm trying to think. Oh, I tell you a story about the guy who said he wanted to fly up here. The first guy I ever hooked up with. I don't know if I told this story. Oh, I got a call.

I got a text from a guy. This was about a year a year ago texting me i hadn't talked to him he had blocked me on everything after we hooked up so we hooked up there's the first guy at time i ever hooked up the guy about a year later this is in college obviously a year later he hits me up um we match on tinder and i go over there he had just broken up his boyfriend and then kicks me out when i get there because he's like i don't think i can like, I don't think I can do this. I don't think I can do this. I was like, okay, whatever, dude. Fast forward to last year

after he blocked me on everything, texts me and he's like, hey, did I see you in Brianna Chicken Fry's Snap Story? Because I happen to be. However, that was like three months before. So clearly he was just like, like just trying to hit me up for some reason. And I was like, yeah, why?

He was like, oh, I just love Brianna. I was like, cool. And he's like, when are we going to meet up again? I was like, well, I live in New York. He goes, well, I'll fly up there tomorrow if you'll let me. And I was like, I haven't seen you in years. I go, you drunk right now? And he's like, a little bit, but like I totally want to do this.

Like I've been thinking about you. And I was like, I haven't seen – like this was four years previous. Like we had hooked up last. And so, yeah, I was yeah i was like why we text tomorrow and the next morning again i was blocked everything even my number was blocked from him like i couldn't i couldn't contact him so he got drunk wanted to fuck you and then blocked you and everything basically yeah i guess but no but i'm saying but like to hit me up he lives in north carolina so he was like oh i'm gonna fly up there tomorrow after not talking to you for four years can i come

stay with you and i was like uh i don't know about that, dude. That's fucking nuts. But yeah. I'll be honest. That one sounds like something I've done before. I'm not going to go throwing stones at that story. All right, that's fair. For the taste of your lips, I'm on it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You turned something into just, hey, we're all toxic. This crazy fucking thing happened. Guy wanted to fuck me and then he ignored me. All right, when you put it down like that, yeah, whatever. Fuck me, whatever. Oh, boy. Okay. alright when you put it down like that and yeah whatever oh boy okay Zach Zach not Zach

Pat has always told a story of why why he loves being gay I imagine aside from the penis it's like

he got cheated on and and then he just came home and was like so we gotta fight about this and then he just came home and was like, so we got to fight about this. They just had a fist fight. Which is dope.

That is sick. That is sick. I think he cheated on you. It's like, we can fist fight about this. Every now and then, I think, because I got into a bunch of fights in college when I was a bouncer and shit, and every now and then I miss it. It was fun. In the moment, it is like, this is exhilarating. Now I'm like, I don't really feel

like doing rough and rowdy training to do this. Just get a boyfriend. Can you call... I mean, it's definitively domestic abuse. Very much. Not if you ring a bell first. Can you? Are you like, how do you charge someone with that?

Are you like, well, like. I mean, I would imagine the loser does. Yeah. He's stronger than me. Yeah, yeah. I heard you got charged with domestic abuse. You beat him, huh? Yeah.

That is tough. But it would be pretty safe. You cheated him, huh? That is tough, but it would be pretty safe. You cheated on me. Time to fight. Next voice mail. What's up, KFC? Fights. The rest of the crew. Long time listener here. I have a somewhat am I the asshole

for you. I just want to hear what you have to say. So I've moved home after college to my parents for the summer. I haven't been around much, so I don't know too many people in the neighborhood. And I was recently walking my dog, and I see two little girls, ballpark, 8, 10 years old. One on the ground, pretty much bawling her eyes out, and the other one standing over her.

Couldn't really tell what was going on, but put my superhero cape on, walked over there and smoothed over the situation, and it turned out that one of the little girls, the one that was crying, was bleeding a little bit, kind of helped her out and in the middle of that um the mom of one of the girls walked walked out of the house yelling at me to put your seatbelts on the exact words but that was the sentiment and i wanted to know your thoughts on if it is... I see where she's coming from, but I don't feel like I come across as a child predator. So I'm wondering... I mean, there's a little girl on the ground.

In this year, 2022, is it acceptable to do something like that? Or should you just stay in your own lane? Stay away from kids at all costs? Let me know. I mean, that's crazy. Initially, you could talk yourself out of that one

pretty easily. What do you think? You think I threw this 8-year-old girl on the ground? Is she just got a scratch? You opened the door and your first thought was And she just got a scratch? Come on. You opened the door, and your first thought was,

I bet that adult man threw that girl. That's crazy. I would absolutely, in that situation, I would go over and help a crying child. Yeah. I don't think that that's out of the realm of normalcy to be like,

hey, crying child who cannot fend for themselves, what's wrong? How may I assist you is that's a normal ass fucking thing to do that is i i i can't i can't imagine what what genuinely twisted would be to see a crying child and be like that's not my business like that's that's that's the nuts i can't go near Another one of those again Yeah What the fuck did you Yeah Cause if you saw him Walking you'd be like

Hey Fell for this one before Yeah If you saw him Just walking by You'd be like Dude what the fuck Like

Yeah but I feel like You just stepped over a kid Yeah This is I have been duped By this before And it ended with Three years in prison

So I'm not doing it again That's insane No you are not the asshole Think about what that question is You can rephrase that question to Am I the asshole for helping a child in need No That mom is a psycho

That is a Yeah it was a mom that came out Like all moms are psychos But that's a particularly insane fucking thing to think of. Did he say she was like continued yelling at him too? He didn't really. He didn't go into it? Yeah.

Yeah, if that altercation lasted longer than she was crying, then that lady like, yeah, just, yeah, fuck that lady. It's pretty fucking obvious what happened here. I did not beat a child and then stay at the scene of the crime waiting for an adult to come yell at me. This was my warm-up. I was waiting for you. Trying to get you out.

I knew this would work. Finally got your attention, Dolores. Bring it! All right, last voicemail. Last voicemail is brought to you by Roman. Roman Swipes. I don't even, these ones, we don't even need to do an ad read for this. You fucking know what the deal is

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It works even when you don't have the swipes. It works to help that. So this kind of ties into what I was going to tell you. I was trying to figure out a way to segue into this before, but I used a Roman swipe this week, and one, my shoulder was not ready for it. Got to work the shoulders a little. What?

What does that even mean? I woke up. It felt like I was trying to throw 95 the night before. My arm was hanging on something. What were you doing with your arm? It was just fucking from holding up. It was working real good. And then the second part of that.

You sex so long, your other muscles get sore. And then the other part of that is I got hungry after, and I just, in front of her, just bare-ass naked, ate a leftover cheeseburger. I was telling you, that was my Palma da Grilla. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was that moment. So shout out Roman. That was my palm of the groin. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was that moment. So shout out Roman.

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get roman.com slash kfc to get your first month of swipes for just five dollars when you choose a monthly plan click the link in the description below or go to get roman.com slash kfc yo kfc and squad what is up so like a week ago i had a day off during the week which is underrated as fuck um all by yourself do whatever the fuck you want no one around to bother you it's great but um so i jerked off like a normal human. And, uh, my girlfriend comes home. Uh, she's overtly sexual sometimes and goes, did you jerk off today? At, in the middle of dinner. I was like, yeah, yeah, I did. She goes, did you think about me?

I go, no. Which I obviously shouldn't have said that in retrospect being as she is a female and overreacted. And to make it worse I go no. When I'm jerking off I'm thinking about Lena Paul and these

eight black guys. Yeah she wasn't so happy about that, but she had a really pretty chick. But I was just thinking, like, one of you guys said something and reacted, or someone said, your girlfriend, whatever, said something to you and you reacted with a,

in a stupid way, and you had to dig yourself out of a hole or whatever alright peace I think I've said that before if you're thinking about your girlfriend while you jerk off you're a fucking pervert that is

twisted shit if you're thinking about anything when you're jerking off that's fucking twisted like watch a video think about the video you're fucking watching i i i am not much of a uh using the brain guy i don't i don't really go i mean that applies to really any part of my life uh but in particular with porn i i you know in a pinch sure i'll i'll i'll run through the greatest hits and that kind of stuff but i'm i'm pretty rarely am i uh My memory's not that great. 99% of the time I've had sex in my life, I was drunk.

So I don't really remember. But the gut reaction, when was something you did? Dude, this is one of the more fucked up things I ever did. This was when I was in college and I was having sex with a girl. And she grabbed my tits and she was like oh you're putting on weight and we were literally we were fucking and i was on top and she grabbed my tits and went you're putting on weight and i without hesitation just grabbed her stomach i didn't say anything but i was just like hey if we're just if we're grabbing excess

material here wow who can play that yeah holy shit that is and then and then it became subtly i know for a fact she started doing it to me intentionally all the time where we would be like i mean i don't know for a fact but i could just feel it that she would be like, I mean, I don't know for a fact, but I could just feel it that she would be like watching TV and she was like, grab my fat. And I would have to pretend like I didn't know she was grabbing my fat to make me self-conscious. And I just had to act like I completely. I've had that happen where it's not even a malicious thing. She just thought she was being cute. And she grabbed my belly, went belly.

And I went, I'm going to jump. I'm going to do it. I'm like, how do I come back from that? Now I've got to go fucking work out, meal prep. It's a whole thing. That is as bad as it gets. You can't do that. But the specific – here's the fucked up thing, too.

I know what scene he's talking about. I know that scene he's talking about like i i know that scene yeah yeah i know dude one of my favorite tweets ever was when we did like um it's probably five six years ago we did the march madness for porn star brackets and and um i remember hearing names on that like where the fuck is yp find it yeah it's like a fucking scout in the mlb and and trent just quote tweeted it and said go on a run lena paul and that's the most midwest thing that's trent has a lot of midwest uh to him but i think lena paul being your number one is some i love yeah but having to be number one is like she is the most if I picture the Midwest a woman a Midwestern woman

I picture Lennar Paul yeah I saw her 100% a lot last week yeah she was out she was out and about Trent actually had that

he had a quote tweet today talking about I guess he might have mentioned on foreplay talking about his relationship with his dad and it's just that like whenever he's on the phone with his mom, his dad

will occasionally shout in the background and that's the talking they do. It is just the most dad thing of all time. I think they were saying it's Midwestern, but I think it's just the most dad thing of all time where it's just like, my dad will have a full-on conversation with me in the background. I'm like, dude, I can't really hear you and you definitely can't hear me.

So you're just talking to nobody. Hey, Nick, how's it going? I'm like, all right, tell him good uh he's like oh cool yeah i'm like like give me the rundown like just give me the gist he built something in the backyard it's probably cool um all right that is it oh speaking of the grabbing stomach thing i actually did see a porn the other day where a fucking guy was grabbing her stomach. It was the most horrifying thing I've ever seen. She was like a skinny girl, too. I'm like, I've never fucking seen that.

I know the movie you're talking about, too. I watch too much porn. That's what this is. That's what this fucking voicemail came down to. I got fucking trapped in a hotel again. What was I going to do? But that's it. Now time for your interviews. interviews oh i guess we could have

done this the spacing a little different with we have two interviews today but whatever first interview is going to be uh max greenfield max is brought to you by curve okay we've been talking about curve a lot curve is the main sponsor of our live show of our live tour uh we have shows in only one show available right now, actually, in D.C. D.C. September 29th, I think. September 29th,

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Look at this guy in all black. It's a navy blue sweater sweater it's just blending into the uh into the background no but even i mean the background just that you're just like this floating this floating handsome guy ready to just chop it up with us well i'm promoting star wars today so have you been man i? I'm doing good. Are we talking about the movie or are we talking about the Sixers or the Celtics? What do you want to do, brother? Whatever you want to do, man. Who are you a fan of?

Well, I'm a Knicks fan. Yeah. So we have nothing to talk about. You're from like a fake town in New York, right? Listen, I've been following the storylines and I'm very invested. Wait, where are you from in New York? What's the fake town in New York, right? Listen, I've been following the storylines and I'm very invested. Wait, where are you from in New York? What's the fake town? It's not a fake town. It's a real

town called Dobbs Ferry. Oh, I know Dobbs Ferry. Yeah, thank you very much. It's super fake town. I mean, it's ridiculous. Actually, when my, if you, like, if I call you, my phone comes in as Dobbs Ferry. Really? I don't live there. I don't know why.

Well, hold on. Are you from a neighboring town? Yeah, I'm, like, not that far away, but I've never, like, it's not like I bought my phone or did anything in Dobbs Ferry. I'm in Mount Vernon right now. Oh, yeah, sure. Okay. But I have no idea why Dobbs Ferry. When your phone shows up

Dobbs Ferry, When your phone shows up, Dobbs Ferry? That's a tough break. Why is that bad? Why is that negative? I mean, the Dobbs Ferry is a little oomph to you. Like, I'm from the Bronx. I'm from Dobbs Ferry sounds a little silly if we're being honest, man. But if we're also being honest, Dobbs Ferry fits

a little bit more in the Bronx. Wait till the Dobbs Ferry-ans come till, wait till the Dobbs Ferry ends come after your ass. After this bullshit, they fucking have to hear. You don't want to get Dobbs Ferry. How's your corduroy? You still, uh,

doubling down on that. No, I got so much quarter right here. I got a corduroy jacket right here. I'll put that on. Also show him your hat. The other day, he just shows up with the hat he's wearing now. Yellow hat. It's just a corn orange jacket right here. I'll put that on. Also, show him your hat. The other day, he just shows up with the hat he's wearing now.

Yellow hat. It's just a corn hat. It just says Perot corn. Yeah, while you're at it, give us a tour of your kitchen. I mean, where do you guys get corn? The tour of my kitchen is done. Here it is. That's the kitchen. Now in

Dobbs Ferry, you would have a very nice big kitchen there. I don't have that new girl money, bro. Come on. So wait, what are you? Are you on set right now? Is that why you're in this ridiculous black floating thing? No, this is my kitchen. No, we're doing press all day for the valet.

And they have me. That's right. Someone did their research. Got you, kid. I got you. It's actually very appropriate. The valet, the tagline I read was that there's some people are in trouble after a paparazzi picture gets snapped, right?

Sure. Which is exactly what's going on at Barstool Sports right now. So very, very good timing on your part. Well, there was a picture that was snapped and then posted on the Internet of an office romance, and it let the cat out of the bag, and now it's a whole fucking thing, man. Hold on. I need details. What happened?

John's like, no details let's get let's get max's take we gotta have max's take okay all right max weigh in on this so uh there was an office romance for um was john what's that no not this time this time. This time. It usually is. Not this time. So it was two of like our main people, a producer of a very big podcast and one of the one of the hosts of our podcast. They got together and they were together for like five years. Then they broke up sometime in the past year. And now she's dating another guy in the office and they went to him and they explained like, hey, you know, I know this is awkward. Didn't want it to be this way, but, you know, I'm seeing somebody else in the office now.

But they told him, but they kept it quiet otherwise. saw them out on the street together, kind of like holding hands, looking like a couple, posted the picture of it, and it set this fan base and this office on fire, brother. Like, in a way we have never seen before. Oh, wow. So where would you stand on that? Or, you know, give us what happened on New Girl, or if it happened on set of the ballet or whatever. How would you handle it? And what do you think of these circumstances?

Well, look, you know, love is love and you can't stop it. Having said that. Maybe you try to find love outside of the place that you work. Well, I know. So that's part of the thing with both both of them. You know, they both it it gets messy when you date people because then you break up and they might date other people. You know, it's just the first relationship and the second one. Both of them are bad ideas. That's easy for a guy like you to say.

A guy who looks like you, who can go to a bar and women want to talk to him. A guy like me, I got to meet people at the office. True. Fuck that. You walk into a place, you have your head to toe in corduroy. Every woman in the room is like, Whoa, who is that? He's got some potato hat on corn, whatever it is crushing it.

Have you ever had a love triangle situation or a thing with a friend or a coworker or anything like that? I've been with my wife for 107 years. I wouldn't even, I wouldn't even, I can't relate to anything that's happening in this conversation. When did you meet? In 2002. And how old were you?

Oh, when you were poor? You wouldn't even believe it. Oh, so she likes you, likes you. Look, I'm surprised too. I mean, I've worked so hard for so many years to trick her, and then I got new girl

and I finally was like, I think I got a leg up now. Nope. Nope. Never. No, no, no. You'll never have a leg up, but it's got to be nice for her to be like, well, this kind of paid off. At least the long run was good. I think she feels financially validated. Yeah. Everything else is still up in the air for sure. I love it. I love it. But wait, so how old were you when you met her?

I was 20. I love it. But wait, so how old were you when you met her? I was 20. I don't know. I'm 42 now. So. So like 22, 22, 23. Yeah. I mean, that's not crazy. It's young.

And you dated for a while and then got married or you got married. Yeah, we dated for five years. And a little bit early for this, for this generation, but not crazy. No, it's a good pace. Yeah. You had your fun. You had your fun. I wouldn't change a thing, John.

You get the questions like, when are you going to propose? No, she was really smart about it. She didn't say a word. And then when I went and then when I proposed and I gave her her the ring like her reaction was first this actually isn't bad and then she said you had two weeks oh wow and then she was gonna start putting on the press after two weeks she meant no she was gonna leave she was just gonna flat out leave i think the way to get the ring is honestly to not put the pressure on. I think when girls start pressuring, guys get either scared or like defiant, like I'm not going to do it.

I only have the one experience. And she didn't put any pressure, but then it becomes the pressure that you put on yourself. And that can get intense. You were in your own head, huh? Yeah. Yeah. Well, all right. It sounds like you made the right choice.

And as far as our office, our office drama, you think the heart wants what the heart wants and you can't you can't stop it from happening. I wish them all the best. I'm not here to judge their situation. Smart man. Smart man. That's that's that is not what's going on here to judge their situation. Smart man. Smart man. That is not what's going on here at Barstool.

I know that might be hard to imagine, but nobody has said those words at all anytime soon. We want to look back at times like this and say, we didn't judge. Who knows? They could get married next year. They could have millions of

babies. I'd step in. we would, you know. No, I'd step in. That would be too many. One million is far too many. Three. Three, I'll step in. Three. All right. Whatever it is. So tell us about the valet a little bit. How's the set been?

Give us the dirt on the set of the valet. Not a lot of dirt. Total fun movie. Do you guys know yehenio they're based from uh from coda and how to be a latin lover and i've seen him i've seen coda i have not seen how to be a latin lover okay wellhenio, who's like this mega star internationally and has had some success over here, is like, you know, the Latin Peter Sellers. And so he was doing this movie and it was based on a French film about this valet driver who gets paparazzi'd with a rich guy who's having an affair with a famous

actress and I play the rich guy as John pointed out before from New Girl. I just play myself in it. You're a great rich guy, dude. You're just very handsome. It's unbelievable, really. That smile they all get popped together

and he decides that the only way he can get out of it is if he can convince his wife that the valet Parker is dating the famous actress that they put on this show. But Yehenio does this amazing job in this movie and play and like toes this line of like what could be a ridiculous storyline and plays it with like a lot of heart. And the movie is like one of those movies that they don't make anymore, which was sort of like these family-oriented films that you hate to call it a feel-good movie, but it's like there's not a lot of feel-good movies. And at the end of this movie, you walk out,

you're like, that was a really nice movie. We were just talking about this with Judd Apatow, and he was like, yeah, it's all superhero stuff. There aren't comedies. There aren't fun movies anymore. So this is nice. Fill in the void. Huh?

It fills the void. It's like I'm not one of these people who like it's all just remakes and superhero movies. And I hate that. I like the remakes. I like the superhero movies. But I don't understand why there has to also be this glaring lack of like comedies and feel good movies. I'm watching seven shows right now, and they're all about some sort of murder. Right. Right. Can I get I enjoy those.

But at the same time, like, can I get a little change of pace? Yeah. Like I got plenty of murder at home. When I go to the theater, I want to see something else. There's murder at home in the kitchen. We got we got all that. I honestly think true crime has kind of ruined the world in a lot of ways i like it but also it's like let's pump the brakes i don't need to see you know severed bodies and kill dead children and stuff every time i turn on netflix it's too scary world's scary enough are you are you uh do you john is a very anti uh documentary guyary guy. Hate him. Hate him. Why?

Because they're not real anymore. They used to be documentaries, right? And they would tell real stories and they would be educational. Now they are clearly produced to elicit a response and they're fake. So that's why I do like the docudrama. I enjoy that. What tipped it for you? Making a murderer. When it was you? Making a Murderer.

That was pretty early. Steven Avery clearly did it. So did Adnan. Adnan clearly did it. No, he didn't. He was involved. But he didn't do it. Adnan did it, dude. He did it. No, he didn't.

We're still fighting the good fight for Adnan and cereal. What did it for me was the staircase, the staircase. I watched the staircase. I watched before, even before true crime came out, I watched the staircase. Then it made it to Netflix and they added three new episodes. I watched those. And then I find out from my own reading, the guy took out an insurance policy the day before she ended up dead and they didn't mention

that in the documentary. I mean, how do you not mention that? His other wife also died the same way. The same exact way. If you push your wife down the stairs, we're coming for you, Max. We know the truth. How do you not mention that in a documentary? How? I like to watch them

and my wife and I will watch at night and then I usually fall asleep with like 15 minutes to go. And then I have to ask what happened in the morning. Like, hey, what was the ending? And then at some point I'll be like this. I don't know. I'm also very easily persuaded. So I'll watch, one episode i'm like oh he did it and then i watch the next episode i'm like well well maybe he didn't do it i'd be terrible on a jury i'd be so bad at jury duty which i've somehow avoided my whole life i feel the same way i feel like i'd get

to the i'd be like who am i who am i to make this decision i don't i don't know just like you said about you know like i'm not gonna judge anybody it Just like you said about, you know, like, I'm not going to judge anybody. It's like, well, that's what you're here to do. You're here to judge these people. I don't know. You know, it's not my place. Terrible. Dude, I said it on, like, a different podcast where I watched Loose Change in high school.

And I came home and I had my parents sit down and I was like, you guys, you're going to want to hear this. It turns out the American government did 9-11. You're grounded. I checked out. I was done. Well, there's none of that in the ballet.

Honestly, it is a good change of pace because everybody is now a political expert, a scientific expert, a foreign relations and war expert. It's like, just shut up and let's have a little bit of fun. You know how long it takes to become an expert at something? And they are just magically expert at all of them.

There's no way there's this many experts. Yeah. And they're all on Twitter, apparently. Who knew? Shocker. Oh, God. Do you do social media? You kind of promote your things, but you're not in the weeds on social media, right?

No. When I have to post something, I reload the app, post, and then take it off my phone. Incredibly smart man right here. Incredibly smart. You know how to download it, right? The app? Well, yeah. So you just download it whenever you want. I never got

that when people said that. They're like, during finals week, I delete the app. Yeah, so you just download it whenever you want. I never got that when people said that. During finals week, I delete the app. Yeah, that's what I do. It's like an extra step. It's not like you can't get it, but it's like... I don't know. You and me are usually... Give me a little bit of a hurdle. I'm not doing it anymore.

If it rains, I don't... I don't understand. What's the other option outside of deleting the app? Well, there is. There is. I'm not saying like, OK, there's self-control really is what it is. Oh, no, I have none. Here's my biggest problem is that I will go on there.

And then start scrolling. And now it scrolls you into other people's like things they think you want to see yeah and then I just watch a bunch of people getting into like bicycle accidents for like that's pretty good an hour and oh shit that looks like oh man

why'd they cut out that guy's probably dead and then I'm like why am I doing this that's well it's an entertaining you know And then I'm like, why am I doing this? That's well, it's an entertaining, you know, half hour, isn't it? I would say as far as Twitter goes, bike accidents is pretty good. I can't do it. I got it. I got it. I got to get in, post it, get out. Yeah, no, you seem like you're a good role model on how to live your life in this day and age.

Got a happy family. Stay off social media. Don't get in in anybody's business make a bunch of money as a movie star i want to be you when i grow up man what keep it simple you know yeah real easy um were you able to watch any of um uh minks of your former co-hosts, co-stars new show. Jake? Yeah. Of course. What'd you think? Yeah, I do. I like it a lot, actually. It's the best. A lot of male frontal.

And we were trying to get Jake to go the extra mile and do it himself. He said he wouldn't do it, though. The first question I asked him when he was doing the show we we had a little more and then he he all jake talked about was dick so this is perfect for him you guys are talking about talking dicks man he was it was the first question i asked him and then he said yes of course i this shows you, it's a big male nudity is a big part of the show.

Of course, I'm going to show mine. And I was like, good for you, man. And then based on like the casual reaction, I guess I had, he goes, no, I'm not doing it. Do it. I have an anxiety attack out of out of the whole cast of New Girl. Who would be the most comfortable if if they were doing a movie or show and they had to go full frontal oh me for sure i basically did it on new girl i was running around on that set shirtless and all but nude in every especially first season in almost every other episode. There's a big difference though.

That last bit there is a, when you get to that, when you get to that point and like, you're just like, you're just like, who cares? Whatever dude, which is a scary place to be because there's a lot of people that care.

Like the whole crew, nobody wants to see that. Right. Like they're not, they're not they're not great with it even though you're at a place where you're like i guess i don't i'm i guess this is sort of freeing it just sort of is what it is and you forget that the rest you forget like everyone around you's like hey man nobody wants to see that put like cover yourself up oh i was

saying i made my acting debut recently and i was told to bring a pair of boxers that would match my character and I brought four pairs of good dick boxers. Were they corduroy? Corduroy boxers might be the next thing, John. Make a note of that one. That would tamp you down too much.

That would tamp you down. You'd be real flat-dicked in a corduroy. But I brought four pairs of good dick boxers and then one pair that was like kind of what they were asking for and they made me wear the ones they were asking for and I look like a eunuch in the whole goddamn video

it sucks you're too hard on yourself me? no never, John's not hard on himself at all. He loves himself. I think the problem with this one is he wasn't hard on himself for these scenes.

I think I had like a random ball popping out the whole time. So the ballet is, what's it out again? May 20th. May 20th. I think it's next week. Yeah, that's oh my God, it's flying. May 20th on Hulu.

You can catch him and the boys, him and the whole crew. So we always we always try to get something out of the some sort of secret out of the the new girl uh crew every time we talk to you guys you got to give us something every single every single time we're looking for a headline what's something you haven't ever told anybody about new girl that never has made it to air i'm with robin uh who did my makeup for all seven years is Is there anything? I can't say. Yeah, there's deep, dark secrets on those sets. I know it.

There always are. I don't know that I can give you anything, but I would say that you want to go down, if you were going to go down a path as true crime investigators. I would lead you to Justin Long. Okay. See, this is going to be the beginning of our new careers, John. We're going to do true crime.

I know you don't like it, but it's true crime, New Girl style, where we will investigate the deep, dark secrets of that cast and crew, and we begin episode one with Justin Long. I'm going to the Justin Long episodes right now. That's what we're going to do. Episode one. Nothing happened. Justin Long's really funny, and I want to put him on the spot.

He has a great line when he talks about drawing porn to jerk off to. Very fun. See? You don't know what... You just opened up Pandora's box. We're going to make up all sorts of headlines now about Justin Long on New Girl, man. Great. All right, man. I know what is the best Schmidt line. What's your favorite Schmidt line?

I don't know if I have a favorite line. And also what happened to the douchebag jar? I love the douchebag jar. I think it's in the Smithsonian now. Well, no. I mean, where'd it go? It was like, what, first two seasons it was big, right? You know, here's the thing, John.

I know. I didn't pay attention as much as the people who watched the show. It is so weird. It was really like, the show honestly turned into Jake and I doing bits and them filming it. So in terms of like whatever happened on the show, it's always like news to me it was just jake and i yelling at each other here's what here's what would really happen here's do you want to this is a secret so it's not even a secret this is just what happened

so jake and i uh at some point we were the hours were really long and I was not interested in staying in my trailer the whole time because I'd get bored and lonely and scared and so I would just hang out in Jake's trailer and he would often try to kick me out at some point we decided we should start playing Madden

and to avoid fights we said we weren't going to play against each other, we would play and to avoid fights, we said we weren't going to play against each other. We would play on the same team, and one of us would be the offensive coordinator and the other one would be the defensive coordinator. Honestly, that is the deepest, darkest secret ever.

That is the craziest thing two dudes have ever done. It's absolutely insane. If you guys told me you used to just kill people on set and murder them and chop up their bodies, that would be more normal than two dudes playing on the same team. We would pretend to be the coaches, and we would be the offensive coordinator or the defensive coordinator, and it resulted in some of the biggest fights between the two of us.

We played 700 seasons. I can't even tell. What? That's actually worse because, like, if you're my defensive coordinator and you give up an easy touchdown, I'm like, you asshole, now we don't have a chance to win. That would happen, and one of us would blow it in the Super Bowl or the playoffs. And then we would get called on to set and we would be not on speaking terms and have to do a scene.

And it would just be us screaming at each other like like right off the bat. And they're like, you guys, just this is supposed to be a nice scene or like or just a simple thing. And it would turn into Jake screaming at the AD going, well, if he didn't let up a touchdown against Dallas, what? Max, this is insane. If he didn't go for it on fourth and one, like an idiot. Yeah. I mean, that was.

It's one of the craziest things I've ever heard. That's not an exaggeration. Out of every like guy who has ever played every group of friends ever had maddened nobody. I don't think anybody in the history of football has ever done that. Crazy. We were disruptors. We're we're barrier breakers.

Listen, I know you probably hate stupid questions like that. Like, just tell us something that happened on the set. But that answer is going to bring so much joy and so much argument and content to this website. So I thank you for putting up with the question because the answer was phenomenal. All right. The Ballet on Hulu, May 20th. Go check it out. Thanks always for the time, man.

Thank you, guys. Have a good one. Thank you very much. I can't believe he does him and Jake Johnson play offensive coordinator and defensive coordinator. That's wild. But now it's time for Michael Kosta. You might know him as a writer

on The Daily Show. Michael Kosta, let's talk. But it's time for Michael Kosta. You might know him as a writer on The Daily Show. Michael Kosta, let's talk. But it's okay. I feel like Mike is for like eight-year-olds playing baseball. Don't you? Michael is like, you know, a comedian telling dick jokes. Way more sophisticated. I had a kid when I was in high school and I forget all his names

at this point but his name was like I don't guess I'm not gonna say it but whatever he had he had like seven names and it was

I was like what the fuck is that all about and he was like basically his parents gave him a name to fit whatever career he'd end up in

right like he had like he had one like he's like in case I become a senator like your parents gave he's like, in case I become a senator. Like, you're probably going to give you a middle name in case you become a senator. That's actually, I'm totally against it, but it's kind of smart. There is a lot of examples of athletes.

Yeah. Like, Usain Bolt is the first one that comes to mind. There's a lot of wide receivers with hands. Yeah. You know, I always wondered, wondered, those are obviously family names, but what if I called my daughter U.S. Open champion? See, here's the thing. Here's the problem, though.

You either speak it into existence, or you give them this burden that they can't live up to when you're growing your wife. So I'm going to name my kid minimum wage factory worker. And there's going to be no expectations for you, man. I have two kids. And these kids, I always say their full names because we were like children. But I had two kids growing up like I played against in sports.

One was in hockey. One was in baseball. And they had two of the sickest athlete names of all time. I don't know what either of them do now. But it was. Yeah, they're probably just fucking regular dudes. Gibby Quick. Oh, yeah.

Gibby Quick was a hockey player. Oh, that's a good one sick name and then Blake Youngblood was a pitcher Youngblood was the pitcher yeah because I mean

do you remember the hockey movie Youngblood do I remember the hockey movie I feel like of all the buildings in New York City this building knows the movie

dude I fucking I used to play for Scotty McPherson who was the he was the skater for Rob Lowe. So when they did the hockey scenes, he was the... Did you expect us to know that?

When you said Scotty McPherson, we're going to go, I'm the skater for Rob Lowe! Oh, I'm so impressed that you used to work with Scotty McPherson, the stunt skater. I played for him when I was like 12. I was like, I am playing for a Hollywood celebrity. This is crazy. Hey, Scottie McPherson's a good one, too.

And he ended up becoming a Hollywood celebrity. Scottie McPherson's the man, bro. There's a scene in that movie where Rob Lowe and the coach's daughter are having sex. And I don't know how old I was. 10, 11, 12, whatever it was. We had it on VHS at the Costa family house. Are you Canadian? I'm not.

I'm from Michigan. Okay. Canadian light. And any young man will understand this situation. My parents bounced for the night. I was home alone. I pulled out the VHS. I went to that scene, and I would re-watch it, right?

I know. So whatever. So whatever happens, and then my parents come home, and it turns on, alone i pulled out the vhs i went to that scene yeah and i would re-watch it right so whatever so whatever happens and then my parents come home and it turns on and i'm sitting with my parents it was very clear what was going on but it was like think about that i mean i had to go get a vhs find the location pause it rewind it pause and then like it's so interesting now to think what these young men are doing it's yeah we are it's all i think about what young men are doing. It's all I think about what young men are doing. It's interesting to think about. It's either going to be a generation of people who are going to be way more,

I don't know, like successful because their brain capacity is being used on other things. Right. Or they're all going to be like deviants and perverts. Or they're all going to

not want to form partnerships. Sex is going to go down. Anxiety is going to go up. Depression is going to go up. And that's already happened. We're well down that path. Am I blaming porn for all of that? I don't know. A good amount.

My scene was a lot of vagina in Austin Powers. A scene in the hot tub where she comes forward and a little bit of are in Austin Powers. Oh, sure, sure. A scene in the hot tub where she kind of comes forward and a little bit of areola pops up. I had that one at my... She caught a little half moon.

Is that a PG-13 movie? I believe so. Yeah, yeah. There's no way it was anything over R. Yeah, it wasn't over that. But yeah, technically there's not anything, but how did they miss that? How did the Hollywood censor people miss it?

Did they let it in there on purpose? Young Blood was one of the pivotal movie of my childhood. And you just brought it up because your boys was Scotty McPherson. Who used to do Rob Lowe's skating? What are the chances? I loved hockey. Let's bring Scotty in!

Scotty, I'm here! I'm a. I loved it. I'm a skinny kid. It wasn't going to work, but I had the passion for hockey. And once they started checking, I was like, tennis, please. That's a line in the movie from Swayze. He says, the last sport for the middle-sized white boy. Did he say that?

Unbelievable. He's like, cheers to hockey. The last sport for the middle-sized white boy. Oh, yeah, you're like a cheers it's like cheers to hockey the last sport oh yeah you're right you're right they're getting drunk yeah the uh but that's i've honestly never heard someone even reference that movie that's that's i that's my favorite hockey movie well i don't know snapshot probably still that's okay but the uh there's there's a scene where they're driving across the ambassador bridge which i'm from southeast michigan the ambassador bridge connects you know windsor, Ontario, Canada to Detroit. It was like it was a home movie.

We would watch it to get pumped up for my peewee hockey games, which again, I was good. And then they checked, and I was bad. Yeah, it's funny. There's a line in the sand. It's like, I am no longer doing this. I am no longer doing this. You're pretty good at tennis, though, huh?

Yeah, I haven't played tennis. New York's tough to play tennis in. Yeah. But I love tennis. It's a great sport. You're alone. You're alone with your mind. You're alone athletically.

It is comparable to stand-up comedy in some ways. It has an affluent reputation, which the Williams sisters have done a good job of breaking. But, yeah, tennis is my sport and also my family sport that's how I got into it so you have a podcast on tennis I have a podcast called the tennis anyone podcast we usually talk about tennis uh but yeah I mean tennis is a year-long sport uh it's global it's unbelievable the stories i mean from mental health and naomi osaka yeah which somehow penetrates all of american sport culture and society to russian players being banned from playing at wimbledon people don't realize how tennis kind of is in the zeitgeist because we think of like country club sport but uh it's it's i just dive deeper into the world of tennis on the

podcast so yeah i i know this is probably been asked you a million times because you have a But I just dive deeper into the world of tennis on the podcast. So, yeah. I know this has probably been asked to you a million times because you have a wealth of knowledge about tennis. That's right. Is there any answer for why the scoring is done the way the scoring is done? It's ridiculous. Yeah. Well, I mean, I do talk about it on stage a little bit. But it's ridiculous. It's absolutely ridiculous.

And it is when the English stole the sport from the French. Sick, dirty bastards. Oh, they were they were bastards you know i will take that i just looked up because i was curious if canada had a constitution right because we always hear about the american constitution it's like especially with roe v wade and all this shit that's going on and i'm like you can have one and i was like supreme court like are they deciding on abortion or are they interpreting the constitution they're interpreting the constitution that's and i was like canada you know they have a constitution yeah they do it's like it was updated in 1982 right and it was basically like hey england you're no longer in charge of our shit and i'm like england had

its fucking hands everywhere in 1982 can Canada was its own sovereign land, but it was basically like, officially now, you're no longer our father. And I'm like, God, England is just... So do you think if we just waited 200 years, we didn't have to do a war? We could just be like, hey, look. Yeah, eventually they would just get independent.

Why was I talking about this? Because we're talking about... Will scoring. Will scoring. So when the English stole the support from the French 600 years ago, they purposely made the scoring or kept the scoring complicated because they did not want the lower class to understand it god forbid and i jokingly say it still works you know i mean you still get idiots on the airplane or whatever i'm talking to like i don't get tennis i don't like and i'm like

because you're a dumb asshole it's's not for you. Go play hockey. It counts by ones. You hit and you score. It counts by ones. So you can think of it as a clock in each game. I really walked into that one. Yeah, you walked into that one. I was like, yes.

Two for two. I also love hockey and love Dean Youngblood. But it also works like a clock. Like if you score one point, it's 15. The second point is 30 Then it goes to 40 even though it should be 40 You lose the threat a little bit there It's meant to be affluent

Elitist and it's meant to keep you out Of the sport Which is fucked up It's basically like finance and stuff Or lawyer speak It's just so dumb people don't get it You're not supposed to understand junk bonds Other people will

and they'll make money off of you. Also, you know, you keep some of the people out who will probably dominate your bitch ass. Your wealthy, unathletic bitch ass. Well, and that is some of the explanation towards the animosity in the beginning, but towards Serena

and Linus. It's like they will just come and be better than you. People like that, when they decide to do a sport, they will take it over. I mean, they have taken the sport over. And I think wonderfully, if your best player grew up in South Central with gang members, that changes the sport entirely. It makes it more welcoming to everybody.

So, yeah, I love tennis, and I'll talk about it all day long if you want. I feel like we're feeling viewers exiting the screen right now. I don't think so. We always talk about dumb stuff, so tennis is great. Shit, I walked into that one. I mean, you probably have, it probably has come up more

than you realize. I mean, I think the biggest story this year is with Naomi Osaka, the female tennis player from Japan, even though she lives in Beverly Hills and makes $55 million a year, basically saying at the French Open, I don't want to do the press conference anymore. Yeah, where do we fall on that? I think there's mental health and I think there's –

Oh, yeah. I mean, I went public and said this is ridiculous. Like, sorry that they're asking tough questions. And then, of course, I got trashed on the internet. But it was... Yeah, I mean... The internet is the best because the internet is, like, the ultimate, like, mental health matters. And they're like, fuck you!

Exactly. Everyone who says it will attack you and make your day, your week, your month a living fucking hell. The mental health advocates. How much does it matter to you? Because it's fucking killing me right now. And I know you know this. I can talk about Naomi Saka for 10 minutes. The first nine and a half minutes will be how I love how she wins,

competes, strikes the ball, her footwork. I can talk about it. I love it. And then the 30 seconds, it'll be, yo, you got to toughen up on this press conference thing. And it is like, trash, white man, trash, trash. And it's like, I just loved also that she was sending this message of, I don't want to answer these questions. And then I would go to her Instagram, and it's like 10 posts using the media to make more money.

And I'm like, I'm sorry. If you're going to use the media, you got to. But that's, you know, um, the, the hard part of professional jobs is that, you know, the fun part is playing. Yeah. Fun part is being rich for playing the sport. That's right. And in return, you have fans and media who are like assholes to you.

But I, and then there's a line that, you know, that doesn't, shouldn't cross, but I don't think we were anywhere close with her. Yeah. I mean, unless those reporters, I, I, I'm not privy to these press conferences. I don't think they were like, uh, crossing a line. Were they? I don't think we were anywhere close with her. Yeah. Unless those reporters, I'm not privy to these press conferences. I don't think they were crossing a line, were they? I don't think so. I don't think so either. Talking about her game and why she lost or whatever.

Why did you double fault on match point? Did you choke? It's basically saying you choked. Yeah, yeah. But it is an interesting question as to I feel like that's okay for the reporter, but is that too far? I don't think so. But why is the athlete required to talk to a bunch of nerds with laptops in front of them after the game?

Because it's a big industry that props up a lot of people with money. Because of money and the sport needs that exposure. But also, yeah, you're going to get the salary you get because of the ticket prices and TV deals because everybody knows about it because they read and watch and consume. So it all feeds the beast. You don't have to take it.

We can be like, fuck you guys. Do the Marshawn Lynch, man. That'll be an interesting press conference. Well, yeah, but you get fined. Like with 20 grand. Right,

but I'm saying like the athletes that are big enough and make enough money, this is like happening in comedy now too where, you know, I'm making up,

if you're selling your own tickets Giving your podcast out You don't need the clubs Or you don't need NBC You don't need the Netflix So it's kind of interesting Naomi Osaka made $55 million last year She is probably thinking Why am I answering this idiot's question

About the French Open When I don't need your fucking money Well you know what I don't mind being like I don't need your fucking money. Well, you know what? I also don't mind being like, I don't want to fucking do this. That's cool. But I think it was a lot of like victim mentality. Oh, for sure. If you just get up there and you're like, I don't fucking

like you and I'm not going to answer your question, more power to you. But the like, what was me is where I'm like, oh. People were not feeling that vibe, myself included. And I tried to explain it in the softest way possible, which was dumb. I almost should have gone super hard. Get your money's worth.

That's what the problem is with everything. When you try and give a nuanced take and then everyone hates you. You know what? Fine. I'm just going to be a fucking asshole. At least I'll get half of you on my side. But also, here's a question. Is it what it reads?

You know, is it, I'm getting the tweets and I'm getting, but then I'm like, I don't think this is public opinion. I think this is

faux outrage, whatever it is. Even if it is, if you just put your phone away, go back to your life, nothing happens. Everything's good. I think the best

is when you take my jacket off. You guys cool with that? Yeah. Could you zoom in on this, please? Take off whatever you want, bro. going to take my jacket off You guys cool with that? Yeah Could you zoom in on this please? Take off whatever you want bro We can take our clothes off right now We don't give a shit man Does he work here Or is he just checking his emails and stuff?

We're still not sure Someone said like I honestly forget If it was someone who sent it to me Or if I heard it somewhere, but someone was like, remember when you're checking Yelp? Every Yelp review ever written was by someone who would write a Yelp review. Yeah. And that's what I think

every commentator, reader, I'm like, that's the kind of, because no one who's like, you'll, when you have a negative experience, you're much more likely to mention it and talk about it. If you're like, yeah, that was great. I have no complaints. You don't feel the need to tell everyone. hey i completely agree with this this is really smart the people who agree and sign the forms to be on a reality tv show are so that you've already

disqualified yourself as a member of as a contributing solid foundational member of society right so i i get watching other people's trauma or whatever the fuck those things are you know those love is blind ones or you know all the shit my my wife makes me watch but it's like yeah it's about it's like yeah exactly but it's like when they agree to the terms of this show you're already not a person I want to hang out with. You have to change your mindset on them completely. You are now this clown of a person. You have to dehumanize them.

And then they come out acting like they're a human. You're now a vehicle for entertainment. You have no emotions or feelings anymore. I just care about hating or loving you, one or the other. But you know what is funny? I feel like we actually are at a time where people do agree now. I think that's kind of what goes on politically, and I think that's where people gain a lot of steam. Explain what you mean.

I think usually people hate, but I think now if someone's in agreement with you, they're like, right on, right on, brother. I'm with this guy, and that's how you can all of a sudden – like we always say, if we just decided tomorrow to be two white guys who were like, we love guns and the amendments and fuck abortion and blah, blah, blah, we would probably make a lot more money and have a lot more downloads. Because people are like, I'm looking for the people who I agree with now. And it's like, well, you can just say these things. And I don't know why we don't because we would just be richer. Well, it might be because that's not who you are. Yeah. I guess so.

But it's also like, who am I really? That's just the construct anyway. Exactly. But by being more authentic and by being more genuine, you're being more real, but you're also not being as polarizing and you're not getting the fanatics. Well, the one time we joked about trying to do this,

he was like, yeah, man, J6. And I was like, I don't know what that means. He was like, come on, January 6th. I was like, oh, okay. If we're going to do this, I got to do a lot more study. A little research. I was like, the oil and the guns. He was like, no, it's not oil.

I was like, fuck, I don't know. You thought I was talking about Jurassic 6, the band, remember? Yeah. I like that one. Is it Jurassic 5? What is it? Oh, it's Jurassic 5. See, we're not good at any of that.

Unless they add a member. They added a member? What's that? Did they add a member did they add a member what's that did they add a member yeah but you're I actually never really liked Jurassic 5

but I pretended to for a while in middle school maybe were they popular enough to do that to be I had like two friends

who really liked Jurassic 5 and I did not that was the beginning of your days as a poser you're well versed enough though

in the happenings of the world right I mean you gotta be for your job I try to be There's a wonderful app Called NPR You've got NPR Nerd

If you listen to their hourly newscast For five minutes I don't mean every hour In the morning, listen to five minutes You have a decent idea of what's happening. Decent. You at least know that Russia invaded someone. You know what I mean? You get a couple buzzwords.

You get a couple buzzwords. Russia, sovereign state, you know, whatever the hell it is. Are you, when someone starts working for the Daily Show, are you more of a... What comes first? Funny or... Before the Daily Show. Being funny or like before the show yeah being funny or or like being interested in politics or just like were you like strictly a comedian and you got a job like okay i can make i can do funny stuff with this yeah or were you working like you know

but it was i was i uh vested in journalism the happenings of the world i was a stand-up comic first the joke was always first funny has always been first um i was a stand-up comic first. The joke was always first. Funny has always been first. I think any stand-up comic, if they get a job in TV, it's like, holy shit, this is awesome. I get to try to be funny during the day and make some money, which is nice. But I think any stand-up comic will go, okay, I'm not maybe an expert in that field, but I'll attempt to plug my joke formulas into politics, comedy, or sports. But I was a stand-up comic first. my joke formulas into politics, comedy, or sports, you know. But I was a stand-up comic first, and, you know, there are days when I'll go, okay,

you want us to talk about voter suppression in Georgia? Like, that's not like a funny topic. It's not easy. Can we talk about 50 Cent declaring bankruptcy? Because that's like easy, you know, whatever. But I think when the show does it right, and they attempt to do it right, we attempt to do it right every day.

But when it really connects is when you are being funny first and you're also hitting a topic and you're kind of tricking people into, holy shit, I'm laughing, holy shit, they just made a point. That's when it's done perfectly. Well, that's when you become a liberal cuck, right? Right. And that's when you watch other men fuck your wife. And cuck is out of control.

The fact that that word has become so mainstream, when you break down what's literally supposed to be going on, it is so funny. If you ever look at, like, if you're scrolling an adult website, Pornhub, and you just see the word cuck, and then you look at the still frame, and you're like, that's what people are saying? They say, I am what?

I'm that guy? Dude tied up in the corner with a cage on his dick? Yeah. And they always keep the husband like, I assume it's, I have no idea if they're actually married. They always just keep him in the back frame, and you kind of see him. Not that I've explored.

No, no, of course not. As a Michigander from the center of the country, but from Ann Arbor, which is this pretty liberal University of Michigan, educated town, close to Canada. Very overrated stadium, by the way. Very overrated stadium. I don't disagree with you, but just tell me why. Just the one time I went, it was just really quiet.

And granted, I saw them play San Diego State, I think. Right. And it was the Rich Rod years. The big house was quiet? It was. It's so. And people have said this. It's not solely my opinion.

It's so open. Yeah. Oh. Like the acoustics almost. It doesn't keep it sound now. Yeah. Got it. Got it.

It is. There's like 200,000 people in there. Yeah. It's breathtakingly large. When you walk in, it's like, oh, my God, this is unbelievable. I can't believe man created this. You know? Also, it's surprising that they use it just for Michigan home games.

So you're like, you know, only seven days a year we're using this thing that's messing up all the traffic. It is quiet. It's quiet. I mean, I went to University of Illinois Memorial Stadium. There seats 70,000, about 40,000 less. Way louder. Definitely louder.

And there's also no one at the games at Illinois. So it's kind of like, it's amazing how loud it gets. But I bring up that you're talking about politics. It's a Michigander from the center of the country, from a liberal town, close to Canada. I just always had friends in every world, right wing, left wing. You know, my dad owned a travel agency. We would travel to Europe. So it was never like my strategy to go politics, to go hard politics and comedy.

Because you just watch the room divide right you're like well why is this a good strategy you know so that's why so like yeah when did you start the daily show it's been five years now so it was okay but so you yeah i guess you did kind of start when it started to get crazy right like 16 when things got but like by 18 is when things were like yeah let's see when did i start i When did I start? I must have started, I was in LA when Trump won, because I remember going to the comedy store and everyone was weeping. And I was like, I was like.

For real? Yeah, I mean, I just remember. No way. I remember people were weeping. People are so gay. I mean, weeping. And I remember all the comics, especially the guys that travel and hit the road,

were like, these motherfuckers, they didn't think this could happen. Have you guys ever been 40 miles away from here? I'm not into it at all. But in the beginning, before shit got out of hand, I did get a kick out of that where it was like, you guys never believed, like you don't understand anything. You never thought this could happen and you got your ass kicked and you were like, holy shit. And that was like satisfying for like a second. Then it was like, okay, wait a minute. Yeah. Wait, wait, wait.'t understand anything. No. You never thought this could happen, and you got your ass kicked, and you were like, holy shit.

Yeah. And that was, like, satisfying for, like, a second. Then it was like, okay, wait a minute. Yeah. Wait, wait, wait. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, yeah, I mean, that – It's just –

It's crazy. As a comic who hits the road, I pride myself on trying to understand and know different types of people and having to make them laugh. And you hang with them and whatever. And I remember flying to Erie, Pennsylvania the next day and there was all these women for Trump at my comedy show doing a fundraiser and I'm like, whoa, yesterday I was at the comedy store, everyone's weeping in the corners. So that's

America's big. It's too big. Divided into 12 different countries. Please. Say it every time, man. Northeast, southeast, middle. Once the weather completely changes, it's a new country. Yeah. Yeah, I like that.

Time zones and weather. There's no way what I care about, someone in the middle of the country is going to care about. And we shouldn't. Why would we? And so we end up electing. Our weather's different. Yeah. Well, it's like soil.

You grow what your regional soil. You eat what your regional soil – you eat what your regional soil can grow. Absolutely, man. So the fact that we elect a leader that's just medium enough that everyone can kind of digest it – Everyone's fucked up a little bit. It's messed up. Let's get someone so everybody's a little pissed off. It's like the internet, man. It's crazy.

I mean, if I was president, I'd be like, you want me to do what? How can I possibly do this? Get the fuck out of here, man. I'd have one of those administrations where nothing gets done. So what would the countries be? Like, I always thought New York City would need to be its own country. I feel like the Northeast kind of – Could handle it?

Yeah. I would say, like, New York to Maine. Okay. And then – Because I'll say that. I do kind of – I'm from Massachusetts. Right. I do kind of treat that as its own country already.

Oh, yeah. Like whenever – like one thing I was saying recently when there was the – I think Time Magazine put out a map of like here's what will happen with abortion if Roe v. Wade does get overturned. And I had said like I thought it was only going to be a few states, countries, and then I saw that map and I was like, oh, it's everybody. But then I get a little sense of personal pride when like the top right is like, oh, they're okay up there. Those are my people and we're all set.

Like, you know, Boston and New York might have a thing. But you can still have a thing. You can still have a thing. I think this is a pretty good idea. That's five of them? I would say, so the Northeast is good. I think the Southeast probably goes a little too. I mean, Florida could be its own deal.

Florida, we should probably just reject. While we're doing this, Florida, Texas, California, goodbye. I learned about Florida recently that they kind of shot themselves. You guys probably both already know this. But they shot themselves in the foot with their public record. That's how Florida Man started. Everything's on public. So we know all the...

If I got arrested three times for fucking pool floats, that guy keeps coming back. It would be, I got arrested for indecent clothes. Do you know that guy? Who? There's this dude. But the public record thing is really interesting. Inflatable pool wraps.

Ah, okay. Is that illegal? Apparently apparently he's doing it i mean i mean is that illegal lock me up every year yeah every year not even maybe a few months we would because when we first started barstool we were only blogging we were just writing right and like i i felt like i was on mall rats you know that get that kids back on the goddamn escalator i was like that guy is fucking the pool raft again. I had to blog about it every couple. He's back and he's fucking that pool raft. But I guess it's because we just think everything is out there all the time.

It's just, yeah. So it would just be indecent exposure for me, whereas they get to tell the full story. There's a great Daily Show field piece on that. Oh, really? Yeah. show field piece on that where yeah um and basically the the theory is that every state is insane has the same criminal acts but you're just not aware of them because the public record of florida yeah you're telling me that like mississippi's better than florida right why yeah exactly exactly so i would get make florida its own texas would probably need to be its own

or you divide texas because it would be too powerful and too militarily strong to be its own. Well, I almost do feel like they are divided in a sense, right? You're going to get some of like, you know, the cities are very, the cities could ride with like the Northeast. There was a, you remember there was like a Twitter hypothetical where someone broke it down and it was like, I can't, I don't know how to find that. I remember exactly. I think it was pretty close to that. I mean, California alone, you could do,

I did a piece on this once where there was a man who was attempting to pass a bill in the state of California that would divide California into two separate states, basically coastal and inland, because California has some Trump. It has some big Trump on the inland. So you would cut it this way. Yeah, it was cut almost like the coast would look like Chile or something.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it also has a lot of, it grows whatever percentage of our country's agriculture inland in California. So are we stronger as a united front? We are when we can keep our shit together. From a global standpoint, when we can keep our shit together, we're like China and Russia. We can be big and strong.

But when we start pecking at each other, it's going to get interesting. Stick together. When the Kardashians want something together and they unite, it happens. It's when Khloe and Kim are fighting

there's problems but yeah I mean that's why if I became president I'd be like I'm gonna be a dictator because that's the only way we're gonna get anything done here

that's why China and them are like this is too big what I say goes because if we leave it up to you we'll be like America it is a fucking wreck man Hawaii always makes me laugh too

like what just chilling out there Alaska how those are crazy it's so it's so nuts and then somehow Puerto Rico is a thing also I don't understand that what are the U.S. Virgin Islands I don't know yeah I mean I'm asking you and clearly I know more about this than you guys do you don't know I mean all I know is that was the meeting clearly

ever I'll have you know I was supposed to be An intern of the Daily Show Has anybody Has anybody on this show Ever even said U.S. Virgin Islands Yeah I've been twice You've been twice What the hell is it I've been to St. Barts And St. Thomas

It's on the Lulia Express The Actually St. Barts Might be British I forget St. Thomas is definitely English That was the most American Thing you've done ever

No but I remember Like I have a friend from Virgin Islands, and she was like, where's our, she had, like, a tweet where it was like, where's our hurricane relief, America? And I was like, why would we give you hurricane relief? Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's like, because we're your property. I was like, you're our what? We are?

What? It says U.S. in front of it, man. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but that was... Do you... I mean, is there times where you're sick of how crazy politics have gotten and you want to just be able to do jokes and not do The Daily Show? Yeah, for sure.

And there's a lot of breaks in The Daily Show schedule. And at first, when I came on the show, I go, well, we have a lot of off weeks. And then you dive in and you start ramping up and you're like, I need a break. Because you need it. And then a break comes up. And then you appreciate the show.

But what you are trying to do in the world of politics, I was also on a show on Fox Sports 1 called Crowd Goes Wild with Regis Philbin. That wasn't as exhausting because you're talking about A-Rod's batting average. You know what I mean? It's not like... Yeah, people get fired up about this stuff,

but it doesn't actually inherently... Yeah, and some people get really mad when you call someone a shooting guard and they're an off guard. Wow. And I'm like, I wish you would... Yeah, of course you know. I was like, I wish you would get this mad

about voter suppression in Georgia or whatever, that we don't have any clean drinking water. I don't know. Speaking of, I'm going to have some of this. Yeah, it's nice to take a break. Again, politics isn't what drives me, but knowing more about it, I think, does help you as a citizen and a person

to try to be aware of some of the messed up stuff that's going on. There is, but I think... I actually saw a tweet the other day. I want to see if I can find it. It was very funny. Yeah. Where it was like 34-year-old on Twitter, and it was like... Hang on.

I can find it. Most good conversations start on Twitter. I saw a tweet the other day. So it's by a person at Dan White. Okay. At sign, then at Dan White. 34-year-old on Twitter. Paw Patrol is copaganda that reinforces America's role as a global police force and indoctrinates a new generation of children to our collective military fetishization.

34-year-old not on Twitter. We're redoing our bathroom. And I think what that inherently says is that there is a need for some ignorance in order to just be happy. Yeah. So you don't have to overthink everything. Not everything is a thing. And I think we talked to-

And yell about A-Rod and- Yeah. To Essie Cup about it once. And we're like, how much news do you consume? And she's like, too much. Yeah. And I was like, yeah, there is. And I feel like Twitter kind of hits you with that where it's just like, all right, I'm

just getting the bullet points because I'm very rarely opening articles because no one does. And I'm like, this is depressing. When Twitter tried to change that, do you want to read the article first? No, I don't. Send tweets. I'm not even talking about sharing my opinion on them. It's just like reading it and absorbing it and being like, okay, at least I know a little bit about that. Almost like what you were saying earlier with the NPR, the five minutes.

I got the broad strokes of this. And that seems dark were saying earlier with the NPR, the five minutes. I got the broad strokes of this, and that seems dark, and this seems bleak, and this seems depressing. One of the things I like about NPR, I don't know enough about BBC, but I would say it's in the same world, is I'm not getting this emotional voice. I believe, and I could be wrong,

but I believe I'm getting a composed teller of the news and I can decide the emotional extreme. Like, it's like, okay, so this happened. But when you take a break from news for a while, it was back to your question. And then you come back, you're like, whoa, that guy's voice is serious about this. Aren't we just talking about like a tiny bridge that crumbled no one's dead it messed up traffic for a couple minutes but you're like you're it's like dude so yeah you notice especially in american news which is for profit you know it's like they they go hard on the emotional intensity and that that can wear you i mean i don't know i don't know how you i don't know enough about it

but i don't think you can have uh anchors making like $20 million a year. Yeah. Because then I would say whatever the fuck you want me to say. Yeah. Right. Or Ingram or whoever. I'd be like, kill Obama. Give me the fucking check.

You know what I mean? It certainly starts to get complicated. Yeah. But it's like then you got to have people who just want to do things for no money. Yeah. Who are they? Yeah. It certainly starts to get complicated.

It would be great if when every news anchor started speaking, they just put the yearly salary down below, like a lower third. I get paid to do this. I get paid a lot of shit. Oh, okay. You're getting paid a lot to say whatever it is you're saying, which most likely like a young 25-year-old college grad is writing the copy. Yeah. Yeah. like a young uh 25 year old college grad is writing the copy yeah you know so uh uh yeah but you know trevor noah is a stand-up comic and he's he's a global stand-up comic so he always approaches uh at least when i'm around him it seems like he's always approaching these topics with funny first

uh but it's it's hard he knocked that uh kanye and kim stuff out of the park uh okay yeah when he was talking about like kanye being overbearing or whatever yeah like how it's you know it's hard. He knocked that Kanye and Kim stuff out of the park. Oh, okay. Yeah. When he was talking about Kanye being overbearing or whatever. Yeah, like how it's all fun and games. And he was like, maybe I'm being too serious, but I witnessed this firsthand, and blah, blah, blah. It went super, super viral. But it was just like a heartfelt kind of someone just presenting the facts and being like, here's what I think, and here's why. It was good. It was well done. It was interesting that we were all kind of like making Kanye memes and laughing about

it. And then you're like, oh, this is like the demise of a person's brain. Yeah. And also, I sometimes feel that way with like the Trump supporters, the way we kind of laugh and we're like, I'm pretty certain that person's mentally ill. You know, like, is this totally OK? You know, but yeah, that's all. That that's all our discussion that probably isn't that funny i like to get ourselves in trouble with that one so are you are you in any way um like can

comedy central like control your comedy in any way like if you were all of a sudden to become you know super political one way or the other would they be like me personally I mean I I know that just knowing that the Daily Show skews yeah yeah yeah I mean I know that they vetted my social

media but I also know that every TV network I've ever worked for comes back to you and says can you reconsider these tweets or can you delete these tweets? I mean, I worked at E years ago on a show called The Comment Section, which was similar to the person you're talking about with Yelp, like the people that are willing to Yelp. There's already a problem if you're someone who comments.

That show, we only covered the comment section. We didn't cover the story. We just covered it. And that was really wonderful. But E came back. Really wonderful. I'm sure it was. But that's a nightmare, but a fun concept.

Our researchers, the people that would pull up, whoever this guy's doing, they started to go crazy. Yeah. As the weeks went on, they were like, you get in those weeds, man, you need a break. And we had to shift into different roles on the show because they were going nuts. They have those.

You see that there was an experiment done once with AI bots. And it was like they had them just read the comment section. And it was like short term. It was like they had to stop it, I think. The robots are going to mentally ill. I want to write a book on it. It's like we are not programmed to take this much in

and put this much out. It used to be like, you know, you know four people on the whole planet. Yeah. You know, your wife,

your kids, and like one of your parents. And that's it. And now it's like, oh, I talk to several hundred thousand people a day. Yeah. An hour.

Oh, it's too many. It's just not the way. I remember E asked me, it was in the contract that the lawyer voided this part of it. And they had asked me to declare that I had never had sex on tape. Okay. And we were laughing.

We're like, your greatest star on E is famous from having sex on tape. And now you, so that was one of the oddest things. I did not, no, the lawyer was like, first of all, don't even tell me. First of all, your sex tape was awesome, bro. Yeah, first of all, I saw you. Your stroke game is great. But to answer your question,

never have I felt like, Comedy Central, I'm their employee, but I mean, I did a standup special with them it's on Paramount Plus now I mean they have never ever censored or said can you lay off the ever even when I did live at Gotham

20 years ago and Jeff Ross was the host and I was doing five minutes and I had two minutes of comedy they've just always like to their credit, they have always been friendly to the stand-up comedy. Well, I mean, they should. Yeah, they should be.

It's what they're selling is comedy. So now there's a legal department that every script goes to. And I remember I still have the email from S&P for my special that was like, this performer says fuck 19 times at minute 7. And I printed it and it's up in my office. But it's like someone has to watch this stuff.

Oh, exactly right. But no, they are not... They've never said like, hey, you need to talk about this or whatever. And then what about your tennis podcast? I'm sure they're very scared of that. You know, they're like, let's see if we got to stop this.

I would love to know if anybody at the county central is even listening to my tennis podcast. Yeah. Which is fun because I don't know if I would be able from the contract. I don't know if I'd be able

to launch a political podcast. I don't know. I don't want to. I like talking about tennis. It's fun talking about like. That's what's cool. I mean, like podcasting has become such an industry. Yeah.

And people are like, I need to, you know, talk about what can get me the biggest audience or the most money or whatever. But at its core, it used to just be like people talking about what they like the most. And that's when, you know, you actually do your best podcast. It's true. It's true. I'm not. I didn't design the podcast to brand later into it

right you know it's like i like talking about novak jokovic's open stance forehand yeah and also that the australian government just locked him up because he won't get a vaccination or whatever so i can't decide if he's if i either think he's an enormous asshole or like this guy's fucking badass he's both yeah he's absolutely both i I mean, he is. He doesn't give a fuck. He is both. I love him. I love the attitude. He's fucking awesome.

He's a kid who used to stop practice because he was practicing in Serbia during the Serbo-Croatian War, and they would have to stop practice and go hide in a bomb shelter while their fucking courts got bombed. I mean, doesn't that give you... Doesn't that give you some insight into like why he walks

out there with a chip on his shoulder? Also, then there's Roger Federer who grew up in Switzerland. Doesn't it give you some insight into like, oh, he cross-country skied all winter? Like, yeah, that's what I love about the sport test. Both of them are so good so good so different exactly and then there's rafi nadal who literally plays tennis like he's a spaniard fighting a bull i mean his logo is the bull it's like that's what i love about tennis in particular it's so global uh serbia is not a very

highly vaccinated place right they don't like buy into it as much exactly so like everyone's like he's the top of the world he should it's like well look where he grew up it's different than where you grew up dude it's different people just completely lack people yeah yeah yeah i love nadal just being like i'm gonna be really good like like the fact that clay is yeah is like like... Sometimes you played basketball on ice. I know. It's ridiculous. I'm just going to kill all of you on the surface.

But he kind of rounded out his career, right? For sure. He did an amazing job at... You're showing some very impressive... He is really good. Hardcore grass and clay, right? And clay, yeah. And hardcore is like concrete?

Hardcourt is what Americans play on. But is that concrete? Yeah, it's concrete. Yes, it would be concrete or asphalt. That's crazy. And one of them is grass? It's crazy. I mean, for any, you know, not people out there that are like tennis, fuck that sport, whatever,

it's nuts that they changed the surface. It's like if, you know, game five with NBA playoffs and this one's on ice, this one's underwater. Like it is, your movement is something as any athlete, you train,

you focus so much on your movement and they just like, it's like a video game when they change the level. You know, it's like, oh shit, you got to do this. Entirely change what you're doing. Yeah.

So I do appreciate that. Of course, it's the French. Like, nah, we're going to make you still play on the stage. And they still speak French. Like all the other Grand Slams, they call the score in English. Well, the English-speaking countries, but the French are like, Carte de Sangre. And it's like, just shut up.

Fuck my damn friends. I love it, man. So all right. So the Tennis Anyone's the podcast. Yeah, Tennis Anyone's the podcast. Are you on tour right now? I'm on tour. I just did a

bunch but i've got more stuff coming up i'll be at the um jfl vancouver uh may 27th i'm doing the rio theater i'm gonna be in kansas city i'm gonna be in san diego it's all on michael costa.com so yeah before we let me go let you know i want to see just look into my future real quick or my past well which one is it Because those are way different It's Those are Entirely It's

A look into what Doctor I want you to Look up my butt Or my mouth You'd be surprised With him It's a lot of the same stuff Yeah

Alright How many of your interns Can you name You mean at the daily show Yeah You were supposed to be one Yeah When you say that

What do you mean? Like you got the job? That's why I moved to New York Right But then you just ended up doing this And then you guys You were like I will give you a couple hundred bucks a month

And I was like Fuck that I'll stay at Barstool That's fine Because I figured Did you like formally like quit Or you just like never showed up? No I just never showed up

It was like It was like I was just like You know It's somewhere like It's because MTV I forget what it's, I was just like, you know, it's somewhere like MTV. I forget what it's actually. Viacom, CBS.

Yeah. So if you become an intern there, is it like, you know, one out of every zillion make it to a level that matters? Yeah. Or is it like a pretty good? I was very impressed to learn the many. I'm just sexist. Yeah.

Yeah. Tell us about your interns. I was very impressed with how many I was able to have sex with. A lot of the people working at the show came through the internship program. So you couldn't work here daily. No, it's absolutely

true. You're way too dumb, man. They're smart, though, right? They're smart people. They're very smart people, but it's not... It's not about... You know this smart people, but it's not about – You know this about every industry. It's not about smart. It's about effort. It's about being proactive.

I mean, we'll go shoot something. One thing The Daily Show is excellent at with their interns is they throw them in. I'm like, how is this legal? They, like, throw – like, you're on Man on the Street. They're having people sign waivers. If you need to load footage, they're loading footage. They are in it. And so you see immediately, oh, out of the 10 interns that are on this shoot,

two of them are going, hey, there's a cop coming up over here, so maybe we should move the shoot back over here. And there's seven of them on their phone going, when's lunch? Right. And you're like, those two, move up. Who do you think you would have been? Two or the seven? I would have been both.

There would have been days where I was two. There would have been days I had a hangover. It's always fun. You interact with them. I get to know them. At the end of this year, you always sit and answer questions for them. But I still have a few of them that were in the past that I used for other personal things. Like, it helped me with touring stuff because they're just so good.

And you're like, please, can I hire you? You know? But you can hang back at the office and watch 10 interns whose job it was that day to get fruit for the office and wash it, right? And you can see the three interns

whose dad got them the internship, right? You can see the three who are like, yo, I don't like TV. Fuck this. This sucks. And you can see the three that are like going i don't like tv fuck this this sucks and you can see the three that are like gonna do a good job with whatever task you give them i'm not even talking about the daily show i'm talking about any general i used to coach tennis it was

like oh like you can see based on the bag of the player who is going to be listening who's going to be who's going to be paying because your bag looks like shit everything's this person's zipper is like they got the grips and it's like it's-bop, ba-bop. They got the grips. It's like, it's just effort. It's just effort. Here I am talking about effort again. But it's just all, that's my little soapbox.

And it's funny because you said 10, right? But you said three, three, and three, and then there's one dude who's like, It's just a fucking nut job. Yeah, a lunatic. You're like, please don't shoot me. One time at the Daily Show, I asked, i put a recommendation

in for an intern i said this person is from my hometown um i have to be very careful not to say who it is and i put like i vouched for said please this is my high school whatever the worst and that person tried to take down the internship program exactly and i was like that's it i'm not recommending that was the one person it's like and you know and And I was like, that's it. I'm not recommending it anymore. Never again. Never again. That was the one person. It's like, you know, it's just like, God, it was so disappointing because you're like,

yeah. Never do that anymore. I never. Most I will do is give you like a name of somebody else to go by. Yeah. Yeah. Because I don't want to do it. It is.

This is a nice thing, too, where you're like, you can, whatever we want to say we have, we can have. Like, where it's like. Oh, yeah. The level. Where you can be like, have, we can have. Oh, yeah, the level. We can be like, I don't have to pull anymore. They don't listen to me at all. Is that just attitude? Is that what you're talking about?

It's a little bit of both. I think it's pretty accurate, too. If you wanted to make something happen, you probably could to some extent. But also, you'd be going above and beyond and i'm not gonna do that there is no way you guys got here wherever here is here physically here on the internet here with your listeners without great effort great attitude enthusiasm you know and what i listening to you before i know we've you guys talked about this you can show biz you can get cynical and you can we're all narcissistic in some way anyways,

but it can break you and you can allow it to break you. You can always find like, oh, they did snub me or I should, why did that guy get that? It's like, but you've somehow figured that out

and testament to you. It worked out all right. We're okay. And you got great guests. Yeah. All right. So tennis anyone and michaelcosta.com.

Please. Thanks for having me. I really appreciate it. You got it, brother. Thank you so much for coming. Great. yeah alright so tennis anyone and michaelcastle.com please thanks for having me I really appreciate it you got it brother thank you so much for coming great សូវាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប� Thank you.