KFC Radio - WATCHLIST: Ben Bailey, Moder Family Death Pool, Trebek vs Sajak, and Emmys Recap

Episode Date: September 19, 2018

Ben Bailey (18:05) from Cash Cab comes in to talk about how Cash Cab is filmed and who would ein in a fight to the death, Alex Trebek or Pat Sajak. Emmys recap, The First w/ Sean Penn, Putting another character in The Purge, Friends stars STILL getting $20M per year in 2018.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Today's episode of Watchlist Wednesday is brought to you by the new season of Shameless, only on Showtime. The Gallaghers are back. They're moving on up in the world. They're facing new challenges with reason and maturity. For sure not. The Gallaghers are back, and they're in over their heads as usual. They're drinking. They're drinking.

They're fighting. They're being white trash. That's what it's all about. That's why we love them. If you have a perfect formula, do not ever mess with it. Yeah, for real. Throw the fastball. Throw the fastball.

William H. Macy back. Emmy Rossum back. They're starring in Shameless, season nine, airing Sundays at 9 p.m., followed by a new episode of Kidding starring Jim Carrey. Creepy as hell. Dope. What a... That move, that show, makes me feel some kind of way.

Yeah, a great way. I don't know what it is, but I'm like, whoa, buddy, there's something going on here. I don't know why I like it so much. It disturbs me, how much I like it. But I do.

You can stream it. You can watch it on demand. You can watch it live. It's only available on Showtime. Right now, if you don't have Showtime, I'm going to hook I do. You can stream it. You can watch it on demand. You can watch it live. It's only available on Showtime. Right now, if you don't have Showtime, I'm going to hook you up. You get a free month if you go to Showtime.com and enter code KFCRADIO. The offer is for first-time subscribers

only. It expires September 26th, so get it in now and get yourself a free month of Showtime when you go to Showtime.com and enter promo code KFC. Someone's dying on modern family. Someone's kicking the bucket and they promise it's going to be somebody big. It's not going to be, they're going to fucking, it's going to pull the rug. They don't say big.

They say significant. And that's, that's their cop. That is. And that's going to be. They're going to fucking pull the rug out from under us. They don't say big. They say significant. And that's their copy. That is. It's going to be a little It's going to be a little dipsy-do, a little somebody important, but somebody who's not

on camera a lot. Like Dylan's going to die of a heroin overdose. That's what's going to happen. Dylan's going to get murdered by some drug dealer who's dealing with MDMA. Claire's going to find

Dylan living in the basement. He's been there for six months. No one knows. He's going to MDMA. Claire's going to find Dylan living in the basement. He's been there for six months. No one knows. He's going to be tied off with a rubber hose and a needle sticking out of his arm. And that's the significant death. Because then Haley's going to go into kind of a spiral. Yeah, oh yeah. Oh, when we get slutty Haley?

That will be the significance of it. Okay, got it. That's my prediction. Let's see what the odds are on that. Right now, Oddshark has put out odds on the Modern Family Death Pool right now. So you can actually bet on this, which is wild. I'll never understand this stuff. Well, they just cap how much you can bet on it.

So it's like a gimmick that gets you to go to their website and they their exposure is really pretty low because you can like that like same thing with like wrestling bets and stuff like that where it's scripted because yeah yeah i fucking writers know i know i'm gonna go cash in the ultimate insider trading uh so here are some of the odds on the modern family first of all it is a it's a i mean this is in what season like a billion and i was not i have not thought, this is in what season? Like a billion? I have not thought about this show in forever. It's one of those comfort shows that's on. You watch it. Oh, I think about it

all the time. Clearly. You have fan fiction about Dylan. I watch it every Friday night. This worked for me. I was like, oh shit, someone's getting whacked on Modern Family. Good on them. It's drawing publicity. It's drawing attention.

I think it's going to be the old bait and switch, but it's fun to debate here. The odds-on leader in the clubhouse, Jay, even money. It can't be Jay. He's the old grandpa. Jay's too good a character. It would be, I know, but it would be the easiest way to incorporate a death into something that is flat out a sitcom.

There's no drama to it. There's no seriousness to it. There's no seriousness to it. There's no heartfelt lessons and shit, but there's nothing dark about it. They promise it's gonna be dark. Grandpa dying. That's not even dark.

But that's what I mean. It's like the perfect in-between. It's like... I didn't realize they said it's gonna be dark. Yeah. I mean... Grandpas die. That's what they do. That's not dark. So you're just going to be one of the kids? You cannot kill a kid on a sitcom.

It's a rule. Remember in the 50s it was a rule on TV you had to have one foot on the floor or you couldn't have both feet on your bed? Did you know that one? I did not know that one. Like I Love Lucy. You go back and watch that shit you'll never see anybody in bed. They have to have one foot on the floor. You couldn't have both feet on your bed. Do you know that one? I did not know that one. Like, I love Lucy. You go back and watch that shit, you'll never see anybody in bed. They have to have one foot on the floor at all times because it was like breaking the rules.

Really? There's a rule in sitcom in 2018. We have a smush room now. You can't. We live stream fucking now. You can't kill a kid. I wish they did. I wish they killed fucking.

That's not a rule. That's not a rule. You don't think? How many sitcoms have killed a kid? I'm about to have a rule breaking. It's's gonna have to be first kill manny yo kill that fat fuck manny kill that special ed idiot luke kill him i want i want manny to get killed by like some girl at college he dies like. Like Manny. Okay, here it is. I should be a TV writer. Manny is at a party. Okay.

Right? Doing his whole fucking shtick. He's got a suit on like an asshole and a fedora. And he's got a flower in his jacket pocket. And he's having a nice Chianti. And girls are turning him down left and right. So he goes home, masturbates with a belt. Autoerotic asphyxiation.

And Manny dies like that. You want to see dark folks? He goes home, and he's jerking off to Romeo and Juliet. And he just chokes out and dies. I mean, listen, not only would that be dark, you would be rolling in the money. Because he is second to last year plus 1600. People do not. Odd Shark do not think Manny's going to bite the bucket.

Luke, Manny, Alex, Haley, all the kids plus 1600. I like. I like. How about this, though? How about this? Stella plus 2000. So it's even worse. The human's fine.

Stella drowns. Yeah. You have a little Fucking French pimple Drowning You can kill all the humans You want You kill a dog

Well now you're getting crazy That's plus two thousand Yeah Gloria's just sick Of jumping in the pool To save him She's got a new dress on That she doesn't want She's like alright

I already ruined one dress For this fucking dog It's sink or swim time Stella She yells It's sink or swim time Stella And then Stella drowns I love by the way swim time Stella. She yells, Is she gonna swim time Stella?

And then Stella drowns. I love, by the way, I saw this on Twitter the other day, speaking of Gloria's dresses. She comes out in some bomb ass dress and Phil goes, Gloria, that's a nice dress.

She goes, Thank you, Phil. So he feels it and Claire goes, That's how she says Phil. She didn't say feel. So great. Show's great. Show's amazing. Too bad that's how she says Phil. She didn't say feel. So great. Show's great.

Show's amazing. Too bad that Gloria's going to be dead. So it's Jay, even money. Gloria and Claire clocking in next at 600. So it's like, all right, it's either the grandpa or the mom. Okay. Or Dodd Shark. Gloria.

Phil, plus 700. Straight guy, 700. And then the gay is at plus 900, followed by the kids. So you can't kill a gay guy. You can't kill kids. You certainly can't kill a dog. But mom, dad, grandpa, grandma, they can get it. I like Claudia.

I don't want Claudia to die. But I would like an action-filled episode where the Colombian mob comes back. Oh, yeah. What about her badass ex-husband? Who was that? Antonio Banderas? Phil's never had the money. It's always been Gloria. She smuggles cocaine.

The closets, closets, closets. No, that's not what it is. Which one is theirs? I don't know as well as you do. I forget. Closets, closets, closets, closets is the opponent. Their forget. Closets, closets, closets, closets is the opponent. They're rivals. Right, right, right.

But I forget what Phil's Closet Company is called. But Gloria, that's just been a front. Gloria has been financing that whole thing. They're really the ones. It's a bit of a Breaking Bad situation. And the Colombian mob is finally – she wins an award. She wins a humanitarian award. So she's on the front page of the paper.

Right? They know where to find her now. Yeah. And they're like, hey, it's Gloria. And they all fucking come up. Pablo Escobar style. Pow, pow. Two in the fucking head.

And they just roast the house. Everyone dies. Series finale. Everybody's dead. It's fucking, it's Breaking Bad. Like the gun in the back of a car, only they're all just holding it. They just fucking pump that house full of lead. I like where your head's at.

Unfortunately, it's just going to be Jay's first wife. It's going to be the grandma. Oh, yeah. It's going to be her. That way you get, you kill the grandma, you have the kids mourn, the grandkids mourn, and you don't actually lose anything. She's like overdosed on ayahuasca and just like ran she drowned she drowned too right she got she got eaten by some fucking ferocious animal in the peruvian rainforest on ayahuasca this fucking kid's brain works in mysterious ways bro so uh weigh in who do you think's gonna uh bite the bullet on modern family you can check the

odds tweet us at kfc radio who do you think is dead this season on Modern Family? Let's get to the Emmys. 2018 Emmys were last night. They stunk. They always stink, though. I mean, I barely even watched it because I was like, I'm not doing this to myself this year.

I love award shows. I love to live tweet them. I love to get into the mix. I love to see if I'm on the red carpet. But I was like, I'm not doing it. The Emmys, for some reason, the Emmys still don't have clout like that. Yeah, well, we know why.

We know why. Why? Because the glorious Miss Maisel wins. Not fucking always sunny. When you don't put the real stars in your show, you're not going to get people like us, the real TV viewers. But the Grammys, the artist wins. You know, everyone still watches the Grammys. You mean the Oscars?

That's what I meant. Sorry, Jesus Christ, I'm fucked up today. Yeah, but look what they did. They were like, we got to adapt. Yeah, they had it most popular. But still, for 10 years, it's been a monologue. Everyone watches the Grammys. Yeah.

But they also, I do just think that movies are like the Oscars, where the Emmys are supposed to be a little more like, yo, we watch TV every night. It's not a big deal. Let's just put our favorite fucking shows out there. Namely the comedies. Let's just talk about the actual funny shows. Although, will say this about the glorious miss mazel i i don't know is it marvelous by the way it's probably marvelous right marvelous yeah alliteration it's huge uh i was not very aware of what it was and i watched the trailer for it today. It's dark, no? It's not super dark.

It looks like it could be very funny. I'm going to watch it. I have no problem if Marvelous Ms. Maisel is all right. It's just that you're comparing it to Always Sunny and the Titans. It's just not as funny as that. I promise you. I mean, it could be great. It's not as funny as that.

What it is is it's a woman that looks like it's probably in the 50s or something like that. Yeah. Already a tough sell for me. You're wearing a funny hat. it is is it's a woman it looks like it's probably in the 50s or something like that yeah and already already a tough sell for me yeah you're wearing a funny hat right that's why i immediately yeah dismissed you got that ugly haircut but she her husband leaves her and she gets drunk and stumbles into a comedy club grabs a mic right she's like the new hot shit right yeah yeah yeah because she's filthy right she's a kind of what women in stand-up still do very largely. It kind of just goes over the top and shit like that.

She's talking about tickling balls and sucking dick on stage. I'm in! I take everything back! It could be because she's imitating Horax and stuff like that. It actually, the premise could be, I'm going to check it out. She's been in a couple other things she's the first first male or female

to win a comedy Oscar who was born in the 90s wow we're taking over 90s kids let's fuck I'm in 80s

I was born in the 80s but born in the 90s born in the 90s the torch has been passed fucker motherfucker and it's not even that not even that young yeah They said the torch has been passed. Fucker. Motherfucker.

And it's not even that young. Yeah, it could be 28. Yeah, like, fuck. All right, the Emmys were a snooze. Colin Jost and Michael Che did their best, but it was pretty much a wrap. Oh, why were they so bad? They're funny. I like them a lot. Michael Che, in particular, was very out of sorts up there.

They weren't landing their weren't landing there. They had some fun. First of all, I didn't realize that this was the first year the Emmys could drink. Oh, all right. People were a little bit loose. Which they had a funny line about that where they say, you know. Golden Globes is always fucked up. Right.

And they said they were, I think it was Colin Joe said something along the lines of, you know, this is the first year the Emmys, we can drink in your seats at the Emmys. Because that's what Hollywood needs right now. People lowering their innovations at a work function. Yo, for real though, the fact that the Hollywood elite would go to that every year and you can't have a glass of champagne or something? Well, Chrissy Teigen has clarified this, that there's a bar in the back and people are getting fucked up. Got it. So you can't drink at your table or whatever, right? Right.

Because you're in the theater seats. Oh, right. You're not even at the table. That's the Golden Yeah. Because you're in the theater seats. Oh, right, right. You're not even at the table. That's Golden Globes, like you're sitting at a wedding. It's at a table, yeah. Tyga said that. I'm going to keep calling her Tyga. I'm going to call her by her right name.

Sorry, I have respect. And she said that she won't go if there's not a bar. I mean, I won't go anywhere. I could win an Emmy right now. I'd be like, well, is there an open bar? No. We'll see about it. The only moment that did stick out was this preposterous proposal mid-show from this cat with the long hair, the glasses, bald on top, thousand years old, goes all in with the public proposal at the Emmys.

Grateful to be here, but it's bittersweet. The person most proud at this moment would be my mom, and she passed away just two weeks ago. Part of my heart is broken. I don't think it will ever be repaired, but she's in me, and she always will be. Mom always believed in finding the sunshine in things, and she adored my girlfriend, Jan. Jan, you are the sunshine in my life and mom was right don't ever let go of your sunshine you wonder why i don't like to call you my girlfriend because i want to call you my wife oh shit son oh snap i can't believe you guys

like this this is garbage dude that's a big time line. Fuck that. That sucked. I don't want to call you my girlfriend. I don't want to call you my wife. That's stupid. If Nicholas Sparks drops that, everybody's ooh and aah. Some creep up there at the Emmys does and you're hating on it.

Yeah, almost exactly. No, 100%. The reason you don't like this is because it's ugly people. No, fact. It's largely The reason you don't like this is because it's ugly people. No, fact. It's fact. It's largely because of that. Facts only. Facts machine.

That's it. I don't like it. I don't like it no matter what. Being facts, you know, it makes it, I mean, being ugly makes it way worse. Way worse. But if you were attractive, I still wouldn't like this line. I think it's cheesy. I think it's stupid.

I think. Stupid. I think doing it at the Emmys is lame. Well, public in general is a tough sell. Right. But it's not exactly like Fenway. You know, you want to know why I want to. It's the fucking Emmys.

You want to know why I don't want to call you my girlfriend? Because we're fucking 60 and it's weird. It's socially unacceptable. I got to start calling you my wife, bitch. It's so fucking weird. If you're 50 years old got to start calling you my wife. It's your foot. So fucking weird. If you're 50 years old, I have a girlfriend.

Kill yourself. Yeah. That's fucking weird. I don't care. And if you're 40 plus and you have a platonic roommate, no, you're probably, yeah,

you're, this guy looks like a murderer too. So, so yeah, fuck this line, man. Fuck her reaction, where she's going crazy.

Like, like she's shocked. Yeah. You fucking, you know that shit. You know what the real problem was? It took a long time to execute. Yeah. He said it, then there was applause, then he was like, wait, I haven't done it yet. He got bullied into it. He wasn't even gonna

do it. He had Benedict Cumberbatch there being like, fucking say it! He was like, no, I just meant like, I want to go. Sherlock over here is making me do it. One day I was gonna, I didn't mean right now. He got bullied into it by the crowd. Fucking Leslie Jones is there. Everyone's got these shocked faces like they've never heard of someone getting married before.

Fucking A. Grow up. He's a romantic, folks. He's a romantic. I am. I don't find this romantic. I find it cheesy. If he did it on a beach or some shit like that, like privately, tell me the story later. You're running hot right now. Don't tell me. I don't want to see it. I don't give a fuck or some shit like that. Like, privately. Tell me the story later.

You're running hot right now. Don't tell me. I don't want to see it. I don't give a fuck about your moment of bliss. Coming in hot. Yo, you know what's making me coming hot today? The stars from Friends. Make $20 million a year.

Today. In the year 2018. That is... I thought they were making like $20 million a year when it was on the air. I thought the whole thing, and granted that was like 20 years ago so inflation, whatever. I thought the whole thing was that they agreed $1 million per episode

for the whole gang. Which is like $20 million. They're making that now in syndication? Fuck that! Fuck that! I don't like to hate on anybody getting their money, but there's a goddamn limit. There's a fucking limit to David Schwimmer. You're telling me Ross is getting 20 mil a year for doing nothing?

Jennifer Aniston, fine. Whatever. Megastar. Even Courtney Cox, because she was going toe-to-toe with him. What does Aniston rake in a year? Like 70? It's got to be. If there's an extra 20 here, and then to add, she does like L'Oreal or some shit like that.

Sprinkle in a movie that sucks, but like do horrible bosses nine. You're the Miller's three. Fuck it. She's banking. 20 mil from fucking. You know what?

You know who I like the most in this because he's also in the news right now. Matthew Perry. He just, he's been, I guess he had some gastrointestinal surgery and was in the hospital for three months. Must be so awesome coming out and be like, Matthew Perry. He just, he's been, I guess he had some gastrointestinal surgery. Okay. And was in the hospital for three months.

Must be so awesome coming out and be like, I have $60 million that I haven't even spent. Yeah. No, no, wait, three months. Oh, sorry, three months. But still, my bad, my bad. I'm still walking home to fucking several million.

Right. That I, I, I, Like he was away at war and just couldn't spend money. Right. Granted, I guess hospitals cost money, but he has insurance for that shit. He's fine.

He's coming home. It's like stockpiling that, man. That's the best thing that can happen. You go to the hospital for three months and you get $20 million a year for nothing. I do that for one weekend. And you're like, yeah, I'll take one. Well, I go home for a weekend. I didn't spend any money this weekend, motherfucker.

I am rich now. I have $1,000. This motherfucker comes out. i'm not doing the math i'm not i'm not i'm not good i mean you know like seven million dollars i was going on my that means seinfeld has got to be still caking it that means i mean seinfeld's a billionaire office right but i i i know i know that royalties still roll in. I didn't know 20 million... I mean, 100 million for each of...

There's five of them. There's $100 million in royalties just for them? I think it makes a billion dollars a year in syndication. What? Friends? I think so, yeah. God damn. I think they all have 1%.

Holy... I mean, there's the math. My guy did it. But I mean, that means then the office has got to be creeping up there. That's been around... That's starting to get heavy in syndication. But I mean, that means then the office has got to be creeping up there. That's been around. That's starting to get heavy in syndication. Seinfeld obviously has been just- It pulls in a billion dollars. Is that just syndication?

Yo, you know what? You know what? This is for everybody out there who hates on friends. And I'm not a huge friends person, but there's a lot of internet hate on friends. When you hit Billy, a B, when you hit the B word, it's absolved for any and all hate. Yeah. Like, it's a little bit corny. Same thing, if you tell me that Big Bang Theory is doing the same thing, I'll never make fun

of it again. I don't care how unfunny it is. If you make a billion, that means you were a cultural fucking iconic phenomenon. Well, dude, I just think when we went to Warner Bros. when we were in L.A., they thought it was this huge thing that we had to see the Friends set. And then they showed us just the door to the Friends set. And they were like, look at that. That's how many people come just want to see that.

They're like, we got to take him to the door. It just says Friends was filmed here. That's it. It's about a four by six plaque that says Friends. With Friends in the Friends logo. Yeah, Friends was filmed here. Yo, that. So going back to the Emmys, like, we spoke to Glenn Howerton.

He was like, eh, whatever. The nomination thing, it is what it is. It doesn't bother me. It would drive me fucking crazy to find out that Friends, if David Schwimmer's cashing $20 million a year while always sunny, like, it gets picked up in syndication. It probably does all right. Yeah, absolutely. I don't think it's ever hitting a billion.

Oh, probably not, but I'm sure. And that means it should hit $10 billion. I'm sure they cake it. Dude, I actually saw Friends. I want to, like, I never, I didn't hate Friends. I don't really watch it. It's fine. I very rarely watch it.

It's not like, you know, brilliant TV, but the people who are like morally against it, it's like, it's just a show about like relationship fucking jokes. That's it. I mean, it's fine. I saw some fucking nonsense BuzzFeed article about the other day about how 19 times or whatever fucking number it was that friends was problematic. Oh, my God. It's like suck my dick.

The homophobic jokes. And it was Ross or Matthew Perry talking about how he kissed a guy in the dark once. Well, you kissed the guy. That's not homophobic. That's a straight dude kissing a guy and being like, hey, man, you don't do that. That's straight. You fucked up. Something went really wrong that time. He's not making fun of. That's a straight dude kissing a guy and being like, hey, man, you don't do that. That's straight. Yeah, you fucked up. Something went really wrong that time.

He's not making fun of a gay guy for being gay. It's just like, hey, man, you're not a guy kisser, but you did it. The only problem with Friends, the only thing problematic about it is the whitest goddamn show of all time. Yeah. That's it. That was all those shows. Must See TV, Seinfeld, Friends. They just didn't like black people.

Facts are facts. They were. But you know what? I do think it's. I totally understand that representation matters and stuff like that. But I do think. It's realistic. If I wrote a show about my life.

It would be that. There are very few black people. And it's not for. I'm not trying to not have black people in my life. But if I were to write a show. That's Seinfeld. John, trust me. I wish they liked me more. Yeah. It's not for – I'm not trying to not have black people in my life. But if I were to write a show – John, trust me. I wish they liked me more. Yeah.

It's awesome. We kind of thought about it with Neil. I wish we had more black people who worked here. I wish we had more black people. I grew up in a Massachusetts suburb and then went to a – Southern school. New England prep school. Yeah.

And went to a school in the south that was in a frat. I haven't seen – If it wasn't for Twitter, which is the greatest sociological experiment ever, I wouldn't know black people. It's not something I try to do.

It's not a thing that's active in my life. It's just a fact. So if I were to write a show, anything in it would be forced. Oh, yeah. If I'm writing the John Feidelberg story. Here's the black guy. You're just doing that to have a black guy.

Right. That's problematic. That's a token black guy. Yeah. I'm just making it up. Yeah. I'm lying to say I know a black person. Keep it real.

Yeah. Keep it real. Earlier this week in KC Radio, we had a question. We had a voicemail. A fan of The Purge, fan of the movies, now watching the TV show on USA, the new series, which is kind of like the origin of The Purge, right? Or is that the movies? Yeah.

I thought it was the first Purge. I think that was the most recent movie. Right. But this seems like it's been going on for a little while, but it's the younger days of The Purge. So the question was, which TV character from another show would you want to drop into The Purge. So the question was which TV character from another show would you want to drop into the Purge? The caller suggested Dennis Reynolds, which is a

great choice because I mean, as I said, he would just rape everybody. Correct. But I got a follow-up tweet. And I hope I can find it. Yes. Shout out to at s smilax ss milax esq that means that means a lawyer right esq i don't know the purge question brought two names to mind one dennis

reynolds correct two creed bradden creed brad's a great one. Creed Bratton is a great one. That's exactly what I described when I was like, all right, we'll give it some thought. We'll try to figure it out. Someone who's got everything pent up. He's a total fucking weirdo, and he just needs to unleash. I don't know.

I think Dwight is more of that. Oh, yeah, that's good, too. Because I think Creed is killing people. Yeah, Creed lives the purge. Dwight is following the rule. Dwight would come in, and he would murder Jim with a stapler. He would beat him to death with a stapler. He would go off his space on it.

That might be the answer. Dwight, yeah. Because Creed is, I'd like to see what Creed's doing, but Creed's already doing the dirty. He's out there selling drugs, I think, and he's coming, showing up covered in blood. And the police are there. He runs away. Creed's fucking in the mix. He's a criminal.

Yeah. Creed's in the mix big time. But Dwight lives by, I believe, an old German law. I don't think he lives by American law. But there's a law. Yeah. There's some code Dwight lives by. My favorite joke maybe ever in the office is when Creed comes in with his hair jet black

and then the printer's out of ink. Oh, I don't think I ever picked up on that. Yeah. Same day, the printer's out of ink. He runs away when someone's like, why is there no ink in the printer? Oh, I don't think I ever caught that. I like when he's like, you got to ride the bull, right, bro? He looks ridiculous in that.

So, Colorado's. What else do you have the bull, right, bro? He looks ridiculous in that. So, uh, Colorado's, um. What else do you have? Do you have any others? You got more? Yeah, I think. Once I saw Creed, I really. Creed, I mean, Creed and Dwight are perfect. Uh, I let us see Tim Riggins. Like, I think Riggins is a drive drunk. But it'd be fun. Yeah, it wouldn't be violent.

No. He would just, I mean, he's, he's already, all these guys live the purge a little bit. He's 16 years old. He's shit-faced all day in a strip club None of that's really allowed But Come on, West Dillon, Texas He would definitely have fucked that girl more Or did he ever fuck her?

No, he was a father figure Yeah, he would have been like We smashing tonight Well, she tried to kiss him She did kiss him But guess what? He was bound by morals and laws You give that man a 24-hour period, he's smashed.

I think Tim Riggins is bound by a lot of morals. And he had, like Dwight Living, ancient German law. Tim Riggins lives by Tim Riggins' law. Texas law. So I think maybe he's actually not a good answer because I think if the purge happened, he'd still be like. I do what I want. I follow my code. But I have a code. Yeah.

I'll be at the strip club. I'm going to have a six pack alone star. I don't think he's going to be underage drinking and looking at naked women of age. I don't think he's going to start fucking 12 year olds. Do you think maybe he would just put Jason Street out of his misery and just kill him? Like a mercy killing?

That's just a thought. Well, no, because he didn't allow Jason to do it himself. Right. But again, you know, when things are finally like the shackles are taken off and there's no punishment. I mean, he was in Mexico. The shackle is the purge. What we're learning here

is a lot of people and places already do the purge. That's really the lesson here. Fuck, there was another one I had, though. I forget what it was. Ah, son of a dick. I mean, we mentioned Dennis, but maybe Charlie Kelly. Maybe Charlie. Fed up with Charlie work.

Oh, Ryan. Fed up with the waitress. Ryan. See, I'm trying to think of different crimes people would commit. Ryan would be stealing. So we had DUIs. We got rape. We got murder.

We have. Yeah, Ryan would be all sorts of un had DUIs, we got rape, we got murder, we have... Yeah, Ryan would be all sorts of unethical business. Yeah, just a lot of insider trading. Which is an interesting show in and of itself. A Ryan spinoff? Yeah. A Ryan just kind of working the boiler room. Yeah. You can see that. Don't hate that idea. We did Phil.

Phil would get killed. Phil would have his fucking... Phil would get murdered in the streets the first night of the purge. Maybe that's it. Maybe that's the death... Maybe that's the death bill. I'd like to see Phil out there on his little fucking scooter thing.

His, like, elliptical that moves. Pow! Just running from a gang of wild people in old president's masks with knives and shit. He catches an axe to the face. Phil Dunkey's fucking dead.

All right, we're wrapping up today with a new show that I am only a couple episodes in, but I think I am very much in on it. I like it a lot. I love the first episode. We're talking about the first. It's on Hulu.

It's got Sean Penn in it. It's about outer space and astronauts. Sean Penn does the, oh, kidding, Jim Carrey. Jim Carrey for the Purge? For the for the purge yeah i don't know how much pedophilia i want to see but i'll take a quick look well that yeah i don't i wasn't going there i was gonna go with the pent-up rage just releasing on everybody dude the yeah but that but uh yeah you've ever seen like a pedophile scene nope nope nope don't know what that means nope haven't done it not uh running scared the it still haunts me to this there are two pedophile things that haunt me to this day

and it's um the the guy the hook man and chitty bang bang oh yeah the child napper that's the most terrifying thing in the history of cinema and And then there's a scene in Running Scared where Paul Walker, my guy, RIP, he finds himself in a home. They look like nice people, but they have a bunch of kids kidnapped in the corner. They have knives and shit like that. It's not even pedophilia. It's more child murdering. Anything you're fucking with kids. I don't want to see it.

But I'll watch Jim Carrey kill Judy Greer. Sure. Why not? Just the kids. I don't want to see it. But I'll watch Jim Carrey kill Judy Greer. Why not? Just a quick massacre. Like him where the first episode ends when he rips off the thing. He just jumps to the window, kills them both. Yeah, I'm down. I'm having a dark day.

You haven't seen Kidding yet. I don't know if you'll... I can see it being a show that rubs people and makes you feel uncomfortable. But that's like, maybe that's not for you, but that's a sign that the show is like very well done. Jim Carrey does it so well. Yeah. He's, that's like, you know, in 1994, he was like doing the mask and then he gave a piece of shit.

Now he's dark. Now he's like, I got a lot more ammo. It's not just like, you know, smoking. It's like, I'm going to fucking kill somebody in real life. But the first, like I said, it's on Hulu. I was sharing John's account last night. I was watching till late at night. I finished one episode, get some food.

I ate pigs in a blanket for dinner last night. And then I come back and it says says your account can only watch on one device per time and i said fuck you john to which uncle lou responded now it's actually me i'm watching a movie so we're all using john's account it's a big gangbang on john's on john's hulu account um but i have another friend who has it too yeah i mean yeah i thought it was a netflix type thing where you can have yeah i mean let's talk i'm sure there's like Netflix type thing where you can have three people watching at the time. Let's talk. I'm sure there's a premium version where you can share it, but that's got to be bare minimum. You want to catch Netflix.

I've been meaning to bring something up since yesterday. Does it seem like we're allowed to start expensing these things? Apparently. Because guess what? I do a show about TV. I need to watch a lot of TV. I brought that up and it was a quick no and I was like, but for real, why not? If game time is expensing Spider-Man, I'm expensing Hulu.

That's a year of Hulu on Spider-Man. Right. This Pandora's box, bro. Yeah. Speaking of the purge, lawless here. Episode one of the first. 20 minutes in. You'll be.

Oh, the opening scene was so great. I mean, the whole., you'll be hooked. Oh, the opening scene was so great. I mean, the whole, it's all, yes, yes. The opening scene was very tension-filled. Yeah. And you're immediately like, I'm in. And you are like, I need to watch it. And they do a very cool job.

So the whole idea is we're sending the first people to Mars. So it's set in the future, but it's not like. It's a near future. Yeah, which is cool. So it's like, he's literally doing doing plumbing with a wrench on his fucking sink. But then he just speaks out loud and the house makes a phone call for him. You say, open the door and your car door opens. Drive forward, drive backwards.

So it's like, I can see all that shit happening pretty soon. So it's like, we're going... And I don't think they've said the year yet. It's 2030. Oh, they did say that. 2033, I think. Something like that, yeah. So it's like they've done a good job of like, this is what it's going to be like.

But it's not like we all dress different and we're like fucking, we have sex with headbands on like Demolition Man. But it's well done. Sean Penn's fucking, he's good. Sean Penn's a monster. He's annoying as a person. He's one of those Hollywood elite snobs,

but when he puts it down, and a character like this, it's like a brooding, broken, like Mystic river type shit. He's got some darkness to him. He's got some issues to him. He's maybe the best there is. I think there's so many space shows, too, or space shows or movies that focus on space.

Which is weird to kind of complain about. But it's so, I don't need another fucking space battle. And someone, you know, they can't get back to the ship and they have to cut someone's cord and they float away into the fucking darkness. Right. It's much more of a practical space NASA exploration. It's like the business of space. Yeah.

While also the hardships astronauts deal with on land. Right. Like in the first episode. It's an astronaut show, not a space show. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep.

But I'm okay with that. And yeah, I like it. You can sell, you can tell that Sean Penn's been through some shit. You can tell that he was gone for a while. The only thing I'm worried about. His daughter's an addict because I'm sure she's never dead. He's just got like family issues. Yeah.

She alludes to it when you were gone and we were scared and I'm sure that fucked him up. The only thing I'm worried about is like, you know, you got to give me a little bit of space. You got to give me like something. Like I'm not, I'm not eight. I'm not eight is like you know you got to give me a little bit of space you got to give me like something like I'm not I'm not eight I'm not eight episodes interested in like just the nuances of these people I think I fell asleep halfway to the second episode just it

was really late not boring and the like I'm good through to I same thing as me I got to like one one three quarters but like if I'm on episode like six or seven and we're like I don't know still doing some political shit I think the space shot they had that one of him he's with the I think it's in he's Indian

maybe Hispanic I can't I couldn't really tell by his parents but the when he's kind of out there and it was actually a really cool space shot when he's watching through like the glasses yeah yeah yeah he's like he can rewatch like his memories or whatever. These special glasses.

That's what I mean. That was a very cool shot. You've got to do a flashback, flash forward, something. I mean, they might actually go. I don't know. But I need a little bit of space. Yeah. But first episode, in.

And Sean Penn. Treaded. Treaded. All that guy does is go to Haiti and do sit-ups. He's not just like in shape. It's like you see the ripples in the muscles. You know what I mean? It's like rivets and divots in his arms, and they're sharp.

You look like Wolverine in the comic book. People can't even like fucking you. Yeah, it's got to hurt. Yeah, they got hurt. You caught me because you were fucking me, dude. And also, shout out to my girl, Hank Moody's wife. Karen from Californication. She is the star of this. Is she actually British?

I don't know. It's a great question. She's got a British accent in it. She's faking it for one of them. Yeah, she's a Mick, So she might be from Great Britain. She could be Welch, perhaps. Or Irish. I don't know. But I'm going to guess.

Americans don't know how to do British accents. Right. See? But I also think her accent when she was in Californication was a little bit funny. Like, her voice was a little bit funny. So I could see it going the other way, too. Logan, you looking it up? Let's find out.

She has got something. She's got a little sex. Yeah, she's got a little it to her. And this, she's like the head of. Fames London. Yeah, there you go. So she is a little bit, she's a little bit of like this business boss bitch. She's kind of like heading the space exploration company.

Which actually I do think is, it's hot, but also it's, I think that's kind of a tired character. I think she's doing it well. I think that the bitchy woman, like all boss women are, and I guess maybe it happens with men too, but we're just more used to seeing it. Yeah. Where she is bitchy and she's cold, but then behind closed doors she's breaking down because she wants to show her emotions, but she can't. Right. That seems like every woman who wears a suit. I know. You put them in like a pencil skirt and it's like, you bitch.

Yeah, yeah. But she's doing it well. But she's doing it very well. So you might be tired, but she's killing it. So I'm throwing the seal of approval. I'm going to throw the seal of approval on the first two episodes. That's all I can co-sign because I do have to see where the rest of it goes. But I promise you that the first two episodes of the first will be worth your time.

Very much so. I'll send you John's login for Hulu, and you can watch it then. All right, that's it for us today. We're going to wrap up with our interview with Ben Bailey from Cash Cab, one of the all-time. I mean, I would probably put him third behind Trebek, Sajak, and Cash Cab. No, Bob Barker. He's on the Rushmore, though. Cash Cab is like a—

Is it on the Rushmore? I guess. Well, no, it's not on the Rush more though a cash cab is like a is that a rush more is that i guess well no it's not in the rush more but it has it it lives alone like it's this discovery channel or whatever right it's like this funky weird new age it's the most new game show that has ever really caught on i feel okay i'll give you that you know sure and and i feel like there's not many other people who are strictly game show hosts like regis philbin killed it on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire, but he's not a game show host. You know, I guess you got to throw some Family Feud guys in there. Family. Yeah, there's a lot.

I like Ben Bailey. I like Cash Cab. There's a lot. All right. So let's get into it. Cash Cab, Ben Bailey, KFC Radio, Watch List Wednesday. See you guys next week for more. All right. It's another edition of the Watch List Wednesday. We'll see you guys next week for more. All right, it's another edition of the Watch List. Today we have one of the most, I'm going to say the most likable game show hosts, maybe of all time, from the Cash Cab, Ben Bailey is here. And the only reason I say that, Ben, is as you know,

we have a lot of people come through these doors, celebrities, athletes, a lot of interviews going on. And as you walk through, a lot of people are like, is that it? People are just getting the whisper and murmur. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I had the office of buzz. Is that it? I love that guy. I fucking you walked through, a lot of people went, is that it? I was getting the whisper and murmur. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Had the office of buzz. Is that it? I love that guy.

I fucking love that guy, man. So yeah, you've got quite, you know, there's something about being a game show host, I feel like. Do you feel that? People think I have money to give away, I think. They're like, there's that guy. Maybe he has some cash in his pocket. Hit him up.

Go tell him some random fact that you know. Before we get into anything, full head of hair. Yeah. That threw me for a loop. That's right. I'm forgetting that I had a shaved head for, like, the first eight years. Yeah. Which was totally random, by the way.

Like, I was just hanging out with a buddy of mine outside the comedy cellar one night. And he's just looking at me. I'm like, what? Why are you looking at me that way? And he just goes, you should shave your head. I'm like, why? What are you talking about? He goes, I just think you should shave your head, man.

And then you listen to him. You do have a good shaved head. And so I was like, well, why not? Like a week later, I was like, alright, I'll shave my head. Why not? And then like a week after that, I would thank you. And I was like, well, why not? You know, like a week later, I was like, all right, what the hell? I'll shave my head. Why not? And then like a week after that, I got the show. I got cash. It ain't broke.

Don't fix it. We shot the whole, you know, the whole first season. I had a shaved head. And I was like, well, I guess I'll shave my head again when they re-upped. So I had a shaved head all that whole time. You do have a signature look. I mean, it's like people like, they see the cab, they get the bells and the whistles. I see your head and they're good to go. Yeah, well, I'm trying to make sure people realize I have hair. Yeah. I don't want to just be a signature look. I mean, it's like people like, they see the cab, they get the bells and the whistles, they see your head, and they're good to go.

Yeah, well, I'm trying to make sure people realize I have hair. Yeah. I don't want to just be a bald guy. People are like, hey, fellow bald man. I'm like, no, I have hair. I just, I'm fully haired. There's a distinction, sir. I can grow hair.

I can grow hair. That's what the, that's an episode of Curb, when Larry David is, he thinks it's a hate crime because someone scrawled baldy on his door or something like that. Right, right. And the cop's like, well, sir, I'm bald. I don't care. He's like, you bicked your head. That's a different thing.

I'm bald. It's a different thing. Absolutely. You do have a good bald head. We were talking the other day. Thank you very much. You know, there's certain heads that I feel like if I went totally bicked, I think I'd have a weird,

it would look weird. I think you would look so weird. I didn't bick it, but I shaved it. Yeah, I used to do it. I got drunk watching Green Street Hooligans. Yeah, I used to do it. I got drunk watching Grinch Hooligans in high school. I'll do it. And I thought Petey, the main character, was really badass, so I just

at 17, I was like, give me a buzzer. Did that. I even threw the scar. Petey had like a scar. Oh, no. A little strip of the eyebrow. That was a real badass looking prep school kid. You are, in fact, the biggest loser. It's unbelievable. I'm not going to bite you on it. So you mentioned you were outside the Comedy Cell kid. You are, in fact, the biggest loser. It's unbelievable. I'm not going to bite you on it. So you mentioned you were outside the comedy cellar.

You are a stand-up comedian. Yes. And then Cash Cab kind of falls into your lap? Or was this something like, I want to be a game show host? It fell into my lap. I never wanted to be a game show host. I feel like that's not something you aspire to be, right? Well, some people do.

But it wasn't for me. I wanted to be an actor. We just did Jeff Foxworthy just earlier this week. Oh, yeah. I was just with him on another show, Playing the Game. Playing the Game. Yeah, yeah. We played a little bit of that.

Relative Insanity. It's fun, right? It was a good time. What a great dude. Great comment. He was awesome. Great guy. Awesome.

But he was saying when he first got offered who wants to be a millionaire. I'm sorry. Who's smarter than a fifth grader. Right. He was like, I don't know. And then he heard the premise and he was like, yeah, okay. I'm in. That's a fucking cool one.

I mean, Cash Cab is a cool one. And there is something to. I mean, all right. Let's just finally. Let's clear the goddamn air. How real is it? How fake is it? How set up is it?

And I want you to tell me the goddamn truth. It's not set up at all. It's totally real. A hundred percent. Yeah. Really? I just don't believe you. Yeah. What do you mean? I told you not to lie to me and you It's not set up at all. It's totally real. 100%? Yeah. Really? I just don't believe you. Yeah.

What do you mean? I told you not to lie to me, and you lied right to me. What do you mean? You literally drive around a cab. I don't understand what you're saying. People walk into it completely unknowingly. People hail me, and I pick them up, and they're on the show. Such a liar.

Do you have to work out something? It's true. Do you have to work out something with a taxi commission for that? Yeah, I had to get a license. I had to become a licensed cabbie, yeah. Or I wouldn't be legally allowed to actually just pick people up. Did you have to do on something with the Taxi Commission for that? Yeah, I had to get a license. I had to become a licensed cabbie, yeah. Or I wouldn't be legally allowed to actually just pick people up. Did you have to do the test? Yes, I did.

So you know where everything is in the city. Well, I used to. I mean, I don't really need the knowledge that much when we're actually doing the show. Because they get in and there's a little time before we actually take the ride. So we plan our route and everything for each ride. It's not like they jump in and I have to know exactly where I'm going. But I knew the city pretty well anyway. Not well enough to

pass the test without taking the class though. There's a lot to know. When's it going to become the cash Uber? People have been saying that to me for several years now. You should do it in Uber. And I was always like, nah. But to be honest, it would be a great twist. It would. And it would be a great twist. It would.

And it would be a great way for me to start surprising people again. Yeah. Because they see me. They know. When they hail the cab and they open the door, they see me. Right. Even like, you know how I kind of hide? I like duck down and look to the side.

Now they recognize that. They're like, I see you hiding, Ben Bailey. I'm like, oh, I guess the jig is up. I mean, I'm thinking now, like if I ordered an Uber and it's like it'll be there in two minutes and you're sitting there waiting and you find your black on the accord or whatever it always is. And then you, I'd be like, just the president forever. I'm going XL if you do it. Like a suburban.

Yeah. Okay. Plus, that's part of the cool allure of that idea for me is that I would get a nicer car. Yeah. A little upgrade from the yellow cabs. You know. But it'd be cool. You wouldn't be expecting it.

Yeah, absolutely. You got your Uber, you got in, you'd be like, oh my god. I feel like cash cab, the most important thing in a game show for me is that it's kind of easy enough to play along with at home. Sometimes I'm playing Jeopardy and I just feel like a goddamn moron. Well, that's why Wheel of Fortune is always on right after to make you feel better. Yeah. It's like I can recognize words. I have most of the letters.

I know the alphabet. I can say letters out loud. You feel like an idiot after Jeopardy. I used to. I can play hangman. I know how to do that. When we first started working here nine years ago, you used to live tweet Jeopardy every night, which is an insane move.

I am a huge Jeopardy fan. It kind of got me into it. And I quit very fast with Jeopardy, where I just said, I'm not up to snuff on this. It's hard. When you do rattle through a category, you're good for the week. It feels great. You get Final Jeopardy, I'm good for a month. I feel like a genius.

That was actually in Jack Ryan, the show that just came out, in one of the opening scenes. It's him sitting there just knowing the answers. I was like, all right, this seems a little fucking too much. He was like, who is Moe Van Beek or some shit? We could swear on this show. Oh, that's fucking great. I wasn't sure. Literally anything goes here.

In a room like this, you can tie off. I can rip some pieces out of the wall if I want. Fine. Yeah, yeah. You want to do some drugs and bring hookers in here or whatever. What do you guys have? Do you have any? No.

Nothing. Nothing. No. We do things like we set up rooms and desks like Jason Bourne, where it's like if I need to get the fuck out of here tonight, in one minute, we're gone. No evidence. It was described as a white person's trap house.

It was described as a lit cigarette. You're inside of a lit cigarette. It's got character, let's say. I like it, though. Do you like game shows yourself? I'm a game show fan. We always had Jeopardy on when I was a kid. Everybody's kind of into those, right?

I think so. You can tell a lot about a person by what game shows they watch. Yes, I agree. I was always Jeopardy. Growing up, Jeopardy was always on while we were eating dinner or getting dinner ready. And I was always amazed at what my parents knew. I'm like, how do they know all this stuff?

Then you get older, you're like, oh, well, they were alive when it happened. They've been watching Jeopardy for a while too. Yeah, they've been watching Jeopardy and doing crossword puzzles and whatever. Kind of the same stuff. Back to the Foxworthy thing, I remember we used to play that like my family. We used to watch all that at night on Are You Smarter Than the Fifth Grader? And I was the oldest in high school, so I was theoretically the smartest.

But my little sister would be a fifth grader, and she'd just keep fucking smoking. And she knew it. She was good. It wasn't fair. You made a show for smart children to make adults feel dumb. It was a great premise. Is that what it was? It's like questions that fifth graders would know.

Can you remember that stuff as an adult? She learned that on Tuesday. I learned it a decade ago. Of course I don't remember this shit. Yeah, I don't think I would do very well on that show. So you're a Jeopardy guy? Yeah, we watch Jeopardy. More than a...

If I was home sick, Price is right. That's your thing? And hope for the yodeler. That is... The yodeler that climbs a mountain? He'll disagree with you, but that is the only correct answer. The greatest... Price is right. That's your thing. And hope for the yodeler. That is. Yodeler that climbs a mountain. He'll disagree with you, but that is the only correct answer. The greatest homesick day off of school, work, game show ever. Showcase showdown.

Bob Barker. There's no debate. I understand I'm in the minority, but I loved Supermarket Sweep. It's not bad. Supermarket Sweep's great, but it is no Price is I loved Supermarket Sweep. It's not bad. Supermarket Sweep's great, but it is no prices right. Supermarket Sweep. I've never even watched that. I don't think it was on live.

I think it was almost replays from a long time ago. It's a great premise, though, right? They have a certain amount of time to get as much as they can. As a kid in elementary school, that was your real playground. When you got to push mom's cart and they'd jump on the back. Jump on a cruise. Yeah. I mean, your shopping carts were.

You get the turkey to get the most money you possibly can. There's strategy to it all. You shoot cereal boxes in. You try and sneak in candy bars. The supermarket was my fucking playground. I loved the supermarket. Supermarket is good fun. Who wins in a fight to the death?

Alex Trebek or Pat Sajak? Trebek. Yeah, that's for sure. Trebek's a badass. Like someone broke into his house and he like chased the guy down and tackled him. He broke his arm, right? He didn't hurt himself. I heard he was just rattling off trivia facts while he was beating the guy up.

In that snobby accent. In that perfect intonation. Yeah, doing the French-Canadian noise. He's actually a cool dude, Trebek. Is there a brotherhood of game show hosts? There is a little bit. I've been lucky enough to be nominated, and I've actually won a couple Emmys and stuff, so I've been to those events with those guys you know the first time i was nominated was like

me and trebek and sajak and bob barker shit and i was like why is my name on this list of people and barker won he announced his retirement right after the nominations came out and everyone's like oh well i guess he's gonna win, I guess he's going to win. I guess he's going to win. But Trebek was pissed about it. Was he? Yeah. He was like, you know, he's been winning.

He knew how many he had and how many, you know, he himself had won. And I was like, I said to him at the end, I go, don't worry, Alex. He can't retire two years in a row. And Trebek goes, you know, that son of a bitch has made new episodes. He's going to be eligible again next year. He goes, if he wins next year, I'm going to go after him with a baseball bat. I was like, wow, you are not the guy I thought you were. Trebek, you're fun, you know.

We had a good time sitting around laughing about how we were going to beat up Bob Barker with a bat. And then he said it to some other guy. He saw some other guy, a tall guy with a shaved head, which I had at the same time. And he yells to him. He goes, hey, Ben. He runs over to the guy. He goes, I'll bring the bat when we beat up Barker. And some guy who was like an EP on another show is just like,

what are you talking about, Alex Trebek? And the guys that were with him were like, Alex, that's not Ben Bailey. That's another tall man with a shaved head. So he's a cool dude. He's not the pompous kind of know-it-all that everybody thinks he is. He's a fun, kind of cool, laid-back guy. Walking around these award shows being like the mayor, like fucking around with guys.

He's not the mayor. He's the mob boss. He'll take out Barker's knees. He's got like 47 Emmys or something like that. He's nonstop. Barker has more than Trebek. Does he really? And Sajak never shows up because he never wins.

He just stops showing up after a while. I was going to say, Sajak is drunk and partying with the pretty girls. So he's like, okay, nerds,

I'll be spinning the wheel and fucking hot girls, all right, man? That's the Sajak life. He's like, fuck you guys, I never win, I'm not coming anymore.

That was the word anyways. He just stops showing up because they keep giving him to Barker and Trebek. Listen, Barker and Trebek. Listen, Barker deserves it. Yeah. In my mind.

Come on. He was great. I mean, pure entertainment. He must have done 10,000 episodes of that show. Yeah. Something like that. And then poor Drew Carey trying to fill those shoes. I think he's doing a good job. Yeah, he is.

But it's just like, you'll just always be not Bob Barker. You know, it's impossible to do. It's one of those we've talked about where you don't want to be the quarterback after Tom Brady. Right. You don't want to be the guy who filled in for Francesa. Let someone come in and be like, this fucking sucks. I'm out.

Somebody take the hit. Yes. Oh, that's a good idea. I think you're saving everyone from that lame replacement. Yeah. Yeah. So we have a couple questions for you. Oh, okay.

We're going to do our cash cab, right? You guys are going to have the sheet? Turn the tables on me. I'm going to go with the Rosetta Stone, the Louisiana Purchase, and Columbus O'Reilly. Do you know most of the answers to your questions? It depends. It depends on the list. 50%, 60%, 70%?

I have them asked to me first. That's how I first hear them before I learn them because I have to memorize them. So I get quizzed on them before anybody hears them. Okay. And it's a toss-up. Sometimes I think about maybe three-quarters of the time I might win. Maybe 20% of the time I just can race through all of them. And then another 5% of the time I would strike out in the first.

I'm like, these are the easy ones. It just depends on what you get. It's like Slumdog Millionaire. If you get stuff that you know, then you're going to win. If you get stuff you don't know, then you're screwed. There's nothing you can do. Do you practice or think about how you tell people they got the question wrong? Not anymore.

It's like riding a bike at this point. I've done it so much. Because I feel like there are times when Trebek is like, no. Wrong. Idiot. And I feel like I've heard from you a lot like, ooh, no. No. Yeah, which is kind, no. Wrong. Idiot. And I feel like I've heard from you a lot, like, ooh, no. Yeah, which is kind of like,

I can see it being like, oh, yeah, like, sorry, pal, but it also could be like, fuck you, Ben Bailey. Oh, no, shut up, man. My dream is ruined. Oh, I try to not do that. I try to be nice to them.

Yeah. Because for one thing, we're just kind of throwing them into this. Yeah. It's not like another game show where they've signed up, they've taken a test, they know what they're getting into. These guys are- Allegedly.

I still don't really believe you, but okay. That's okay. You can harbor your doubts if you like. But they're just thrown in there, and that's enough. Like, you know, I want to be nice to them. Yeah. At first, they wanted me to be mean to them. They were like, roast these people when they get the answers wrong and stuff.

I was like, that's not cool. That's it. I don't want to do that. I'd rather just treat them well. You morons. You idiots. Get out of my house. How did you get in here?

What was that restaurant? Like Dick's Resort where everyone was just all the waiters. All the waiters were mean to you. They'd be like, they'd give you like a chef's hat and say, like, fucking asshole. No, thanks. They're total dicks in there. And they're like, it's the name.

Get it? I'm like, yeah, I get it. I'm leaving. I'd like a polite waiter, please. I'll go somewhere else. I'll go to Hooters, thank you very much. Do you actually kick them to the curb when they lose? Oh yeah. I know you probably don't believe that either. I don't believe any of it, but I'm going to play along. That's the absolute truth.

That would be... Got to hail another fucking game? Yeah, this is fucking the whole... That would be my main goal to win, is just so I can get to my destination. Right. So you don't get kicked out of the fast street. Yeah, I got to hail another one of these things.

Are you doing the rain? Doing the snow? You get kicked out of the curb? Whatever the current weather conditions. Unbelievable. Regardless of the weather system. You don't control those? No.

No. We don't drive around and wait for it to stop raining. It's sunny. Let's go. I had these two ladies strike out in the tunnel under First Avenue, and I pulled over like I was going to kick them out, and they look like they're going to shit themselves. I'm like, I'm just kidding.

I'll get you back above. In the middle of the Lincoln Tunnel, you're under the Hudson. We couldn't even get a shot down there. All right, so time to do the KC Radio Cash Cab questions here. Do I get shout-outs? Yeah, sure. I don't know if you're really going to need them, to be perfectly honest. If you got Trebek on speed now.

Would you like Trebek's number? No, I don't have a number. Oh, man. That would have been a yes. You can absolutely. That would have been great. I'm going to get his number next time. Trebek just saw Barker on the street.

Where's the fucking bad bro? Let's get him. Let's get him. All right. Question number one. Okay. What's the funniest show in TV history? The funniest show? Oh, wow. That's tough. All right, question number one. Okay. What's the funniest show in TV history? The funniest show?

Oh, wow, that's tough. All in the Family, Taxi. Ooh, wrong. Incorrect answer. Okay. They're opinion-based, by the way. Yeah, okay. I'm figuring that out now.

I can put my phone down. I don't need to Google. It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia is the winner there. Oh, no. Strike one, fellas. Terribly, terribly incorrect. He flipped on us real fast there. Not even close. It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia is the winner there Oh no, strike one fellas Terribly, terribly incorrect He flipped it on us real fast there Not even close

As soon as I heard that I was like, oh shit Wait, no, I made this game We've kind of alluded to this already But who is the official better host, Pat Sajak or Alex Trebek? Not who would win a fight, who's better at hosting their job? Trebek I mean, I'm going fight. Who's better at hosting their job? Oh, Trebek. I mean, I'm going to have to give him two on that one. I'm a Trebek guy.

I mean, Sajak does, I mean. That's a tough call. I mean, they both do a good job. It's a very different job. Sajak, I don't know if he's even human, to be honest. He hasn't aged in like 40 years. And he's funny. People don't realize how funny he is. Yeah.

His comments in between are very funny. I think Trebek is the more legendary host, but I do find Sajak funnier. I think Sajak makes me laugh more. Trebek's pretty straight-edged. Trebek's all business. Yeah, he is.

Beat you with a baseball bat, man. He'll kneecap you. The TV show with the most nudity ever. Oh, wow. Naked and Afraid. Oh, you know what I mean? It's 100% nudity.

I was going to say Game of Thrones or something. I don't know. That's a good twist. I can't come up with anything more naked than naked and afraid. Bailey's getting the fuck out of us in our own game. You guys didn't have an answer to chosen at a time? No, we don't have any answers. It was a great game.

Cash Cab should be like, it'd be so much easier. Yeah, that's right. Sure. Whatever. Close enough. Here's the money. It's only a couple hundred dollars anyway. Say whatever you think and I'll give you some money.

It's so true. I've always thought you spin the wheel on Wheel of Fortune. You can walk away with like 150 grand. Your cash cab, you answer like 95 questions. You walk away like 260 bucks. Yeah, but you get a free cab ride to your destination. That's a huge piece. It's invaluable 95 questions. You walk away with like 260 bucks. Yeah, but you thought you could get a free cab ride to your destination. That's a huge piece. Invaluable, yeah.

Especially now. I'm actually back on yellow cabs. I'm off Uber. I hate Uber now. No, the yellow cabs are the worst. No, I love it. I take a yellow cab every single morning. No, I mean, listen.

The amount of yellow cabs that are like crickety and reeky. Like they make that eee noise. They're bumpy and they smell and they're not comfortable. You got the video playing. That's the worst. The only bad thing I have about the yellow cab is because the Uber lies to you nonstop now. The Uber is like one minute away, two minutes away, ten minutes away. It's four minutes away for 35 minutes.

It's fucking insufferable. But the yellow cab does have the really, really enunciated hangover. When you get in the back of a yellow cab, it is, if you feel even a little bit bad, just the enclosed space, and you're just like, oh, my God. So what's good about them? Well, I'm not hungover all the time. Convenience factor?

Yeah. I took a cab down here. It's just faster. You just hailed it? I walked out, and I hailed the cab. I won $400. Last question here for you. Okay.

HBO's Real Sex versus Skinamax. The better adult programming to... Skinamax, absolutely. Yeah? Yeah. I'm a real sex guy. I'm a Taxicab Confessions guy. Wait a minute.

Which Real Sex is the... Skinamax. Real Sex is like the weird sex documentary stuff. I was thinking it was a talk show about where people call in with sex questions. I was thinking of something else. Real sex, I think, is better. Yeah, because real sex is weird. Because once you're older and you've actually had sex,

you can tell that the people on Skinamax are not having sex. They're like sitting on the stomach. They're just like rubbing on each other. Yes, exactly. How awkward must that be? If you guys just separated, it would be more comfortable for me if you weren't touching each other right now. There's no way I'm going to be

able to finish unless you guys do something different. I'm going to get a call from the network about that one. Real sex was also like, it was almost like the, you know how we always talk about the interviews and stuff like that before like a real porn. Real sex would have that before commercial breaks. It would be like the – you know how we talk about the interviews and stuff like that before a real porn?

Real sex would have that before commercial breaks. Discussing, you know? Yeah. It would be like – sometimes you'd talk to homeless people, and that was like, come on, man. We're old people. Sometimes it was like a resort of 70-year-olds. I was like, I'm out on this. But Chappelle did that.

He had the skit on it where Chappelle was – they went up to people and they asked, what's the most craziest thing you've ever done? And he's like, I don't know. Some of the girls were like, I don't know, probably like a 17-guy gangbang. The craziest thing I ever did was have sex with a little gangbang. You went out of rubber, yeah. Real sex to me is, and HBO decided to be done with all of their programming, but Taxi Cab Confessions was the original cab programming for me. It was, absolutely.

It was pre-Cash Cab. I was going to say, maybe you should pivot a little bit or maybe combine the two. And perhaps you're giving away money in the cabs for other sort of, instead of a quiz show, you're doing something else to make the money in the cab. We've had some offers. We've had people offer. Ben, I'm saying, that's a goldmine, Kevin. Right? And you may mix it with Real Taxi from Pornhub.

There's a lot of ideas here. I'm just saying that. Throw a little cash cat house in there. Cash cat house? Done. Put them all together. And now that you have the hair, it's like people won't even know it's Ben Bailey. Right, yeah.

Or you know what you could be? Like, Ben Bailey's, like, evil twin. Like, I'm the one with the hair who, like, watches people have sex in the back of the cabs. And I pay them at the end. I'm telling you, it's a great idea, Ben. It's a money maker, right? I'll run it by the execs at Discovery Channel. I'll try to put an educational spin on it.

Maybe they'll go for it. All right. Animals having sex in the back of the car. Fine. Discovery. There you go. Planet Earth mixed with all. In the meantime, you can go watch the latest season of Cash Cab.

It's out now. You can watch it on the Discovery Go or Discovery App. Discovery Go. And it's also on Discovery Channel. Thanks for all the enlightenment and all the education I've been getting from you for all these years. And I don't appreciate you lying to my face about the reality of the situation with Cash Cab. I do think it's all set up, but okay. Fair enough.

Thanks for coming through, man. Thanks for having me, guys. Oh, and don't forget, guys, I'll be at the Stress Factory, the new one in Bridgeport, Connecticut on September 14th and 15th. I'll be at Green Valley Casino out in Vegas on the 21st. And you can get links to get tickets

and stuff on my website, which is therealbenbailey.com and I am realbenbailey on all social media. Give him a follow. Hooray. I forgot. I remember to do what I came here to do. Don't forget to plug the shit.