KFC Radio - We Break Down the Bear vs Man Hypothetical - Full Episode

Episode Date: April 23, 2024

Timecodes: 0:00 Start 00:33 KFCR Vacation Recaps 08:03 Dante's h*rny tweet 13:14 Bear vs Man 21:49 Bloody Sunday 24:40 Taylor Swifts New Album 33:16 Rap Drama with Drake Jcole and ...Kendrick 44:46 Kidnapping Service 50:32 John Rich's Tweet 53:59 Airplanes that board back to front 01:05:31 Bone to Pick 01:11:42 $1000 prize for voicemail senders 01:17:09 Video Voicemails 01:34:33 Slew of Fun Facts 01:41:15 Jackie's issue with clay pots 01:49:42 Feits has an inner dialogue with other people??? Gametime: Download the Gametime app or go to https://gametime.co, enter your email, and redeem code KFC for $20 off your first purchase (terms apply). SimpliSafe: Get 20% off any new SimpliSafe system when you sign up for Fast Protect Monitoring at https://simplisafe.com/kfcradio Manscaped: Get 20% off + free shipping with the code KFC at manscaped.com. That’s 20% off + free shipping with the code KFC at manscaped.com. For the best your boys have ever looked, trust MANSCAPEDⓇ. CANN: Head to https://DrinkCann.com and use code KFC20 for 20% off your order of Cann and a free Roadie 6pk sampler.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Just like whoever would be most interested in that, I talk to them about it. So you'll be like, you'll be like, you'll just, tonight you might go home and be like, in my head, hey Pat, did you hear about Kaitlyn Clark? She sold more jerseys than they, and like you just have that you are so red right now this is the ultimate when you admit something on a podcast thinking that everyone else does it too
Starting point is 00:00:33 all right it's another edition of KFC Radio on the Barstool Sports Network. We're back from vacation. I think – I really believe maybe our first vacation ever. You know, I think I've said that every vacation I've taken for the last 10 years. But have we all been off? Like the pot, you know what I mean? Like if you went away, I feel like I did an episode or vice versa. But if Jackie went away, you went away.
Starting point is 00:01:04 I don't think we've done that. Where it was just like, everybody's still working and we're not today. Because I woke up and felt the way. I was like, because I didn't go anywhere. And I was just doing more shit with my kids. But I was just like, so we're just not going to do work today, huh? Okay. Took a lot to just be like, all right, this is okay.
Starting point is 00:01:19 This is how normal people do it. But we're back in action. New studio, clean studio. Fights went to Ireland. Jackie survived Mexico City. I came back with gifts. Whoa! Let's go.
Starting point is 00:01:34 Here's the deal. I had a much better plan to get gifts. I was going to get gifts in Dublin, and I was going to find good gifts to go around, and I got really bad food poisoning. I had four cakes. Nobody gets food poisoning more than this dude. I had we were in Galway
Starting point is 00:01:54 and I jokingly ordered four cakes for dessert. Four cakes? And they we were at this really nice not really nice restaurant. It's a very good restaurant And they
Starting point is 00:02:07 They are like famous For their pastries And things like that And What does jokingly mean Did you do it Or did you not Oh I ordered them
Starting point is 00:02:13 Yeah okay You said it in a funny voice Or something Did you tell the waiter To bring them or not I was like I'll do the raspberry And hazelnut
Starting point is 00:02:19 And then I looked To my sister I was like And you said something You wanted the chocolate cherry Right And I like Looked over here
Starting point is 00:02:24 And I was like And you said You wanted the And they I was like, and you said something. You wanted the chocolate cherry, right? And I looked over here, and I was like, and you said you wanted the – and they were all like, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you did. Yeah, you did. And the waitress was like, it sounds like you want them. And I was like, ah. And then she came right back with all of them, and I was like, I got to eat them.
Starting point is 00:02:37 These are just slices, or these are like – Slices of hearty cakes. Yeah, I'm sure. And it was a – You get famous cakes in Ireland. They're not exactly going to be like light west irish heavy cream seems to seem to do probably so anyway i i i ended up having to settle for gifts that aren't as great as i wanted to be so what your what your shopping time was was just replaced with you like shitting and puking yeah that's how you're telling me it
Starting point is 00:02:59 actually ended so i i don't get a good gift because your dumb ass eats too many cakes? Yeah. You get a piece of the Barney Stone. Ah-ha! I like that. Very cool. You're very own... This looks like... Which was crazy, dude. This looks like someone else owned it before me, but okay.
Starting point is 00:03:13 Dude, I was trying to find a Clancy thing. Oh, that's right. You texted me. Just like no Clancy stuff. How crazy is that? You're trying to get like a license, like one of those things? Yeah. Just like a little knack- those things Yeah It says Clancy
Starting point is 00:03:25 Yeah But there was There was no Bro I'm telling you right now Zero percent chance This is from the Blarney Stone This is just a fucking rock I didn't go to the Blarney Stone
Starting point is 00:03:34 Okay Okay This is all just from like a gift shop Got it Got it Okay Paz I was gonna get you a real one
Starting point is 00:03:41 You got this one Hell yeah Oh yeah Let's go The picky fucking Hell yeah. Let's go. The picky fucking blinders. Let's go. Yes. Love it.
Starting point is 00:03:50 Yeah, I was like, if Pavs can pull it off, I'll get him a real one. You can pull it off. Jackie, you were harder to shop for. You got an Irish whistle. It's like a... Whoa. Jackie, play us some whistle, please. Wait, wait, wait, wait. It's like a... Whoa! Jackie, play us some whistle, please. Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Starting point is 00:04:06 It's like a flute. This is like the Leprechaun in Alabama. This is my famous Irish flute to keep away the spirits. Play us a little tune. Do a little hot cross buns. You already know how to do it. I didn't realize. I got you you you could have gotten just the flute or the flute with the how to uh instructional dvd you don't need it and i yeah i got you the dvd and it turns out you don't need it i don't need it so a rock a hat and a recorder all from the airport.
Starting point is 00:04:48 What a great scam this is, you know? Yeah. Like, the person who sells this probably is like a bajillionaire. Let's just go outside, outside the airport, get a bunch of rocks. It's like when you're making stuff for Ireland, it's pretty easy. It's just like, hey, just say this thing brings them luck. Right, you're done. You're done, yeah. Shamrocks and pieces of rock. It's just like, hey, just say this thing brings them luck. Right, you're done.
Starting point is 00:05:06 You're done, yeah. Shamrocks and pieces of rock and... That's a made up name. I can't take it seriously. I haven't seen myself yet. Pull the,
Starting point is 00:05:16 down a little bit. Yeah, not the button, but the brim needs to pull down a little bit, right? Yeah, I don't know if it can.
Starting point is 00:05:23 A little bit. Well, now you look like a chauffeur. Yeah. I would assume I look pretty dumb in this. Yeah, you don't look great. But I can see how you would look good in a real one. Okay.
Starting point is 00:05:33 Or maybe I'll get a real one. We'll see what it looks like. You know what? He's Italian. The guineas can't pull it off. Italians can't wear that. Jackie, you did not get kidnapped? I didn't get kidnapped
Starting point is 00:05:45 Any assault? No assault I mean I took I also took like Zero precaution Like I would walk home Alone at night With headphones
Starting point is 00:05:53 In the dark I like would take shots At people's tables I would Nice So your Your whole thing Like you were
Starting point is 00:06:00 You just go to regular bars And stuff like that Like were you going to American tourist bars Or It was American tourist bars It was or like not bars like i i was um restaurants like a lot of reservations yeah and like some bars but i and a lot of times actually like i would sit down like next to an american and like make friends with them so it wasn't like completely alone but
Starting point is 00:06:23 like um yeah it was just mostly restaurants and stuff how long were you there four days five days four nights it wasn't your eat pray love it was yeah did you did you did you find yourself it was like it was supposed to be like an eat pray love type thing and then i was just like drunk the whole time i like get your groove back no no like i actually think i like it regressed me like there was there was nothing i actually like my one takeaway was i was like because also there's only so many meals that you can eat alone before you're like all right this is kind of like this getting a little sad in my i mean if you're doing meals out arguably at least twice a day right yeah dinner yeah that's you're doing 10 or 12 meals yeah that's like minimum that's a lot like
Starting point is 00:07:11 i'm a big fan of tfo i love table for one when you're on number like nine it's like okay yeah it started to get kind of sad so my big takeaway was i was like okay i want a boyfriend which i feel like was like i went away to find myself and I came back I want to be dependent on a man literally did you find any Spanish lovers no
Starting point is 00:07:29 no Spanish lovers did and you just I mean you tempted fate in every possible way you didn't have any like any safety precautions
Starting point is 00:07:38 no I was kind of like yeah I was like I deserve to be kidnapped at this point Jackie was looking forward to, yeah. I was like, I deserve to be kidnapped at this point. Jackie was looking forward to it.
Starting point is 00:07:47 Yeah, yeah. I want a boyfriend so bad if he kidnaps me, fine. She's like, nobody fucking wants me. I just wanted to interact with a human. I was like, I don't know. So, you know, maybe I'm overly cautious, or maybe Mexico City's losing its edge. Yeah. Maybe it's all hype.
Starting point is 00:08:03 Maybe Mexico City is all just a bunch of hype, and it's actually a really nice massive bicep that you were just so jacked everyone's afraid of jackie uh so we're back at it um should we call dante yeah that was so like halfway through the week a lot of times when if we do miss any time together it's always like something will happen, and we'll text the group chat. We'll be like, we got to talk about that next episode. But when you have like 10 days off, it's a long time. And I was like, we cannot forget about this moment. And it's from none other than our good friend, Dante the Don.
Starting point is 00:08:37 Dude, I was lucky enough to wake up in the morning, and I was like – So good. Because, yeah, you were on off hours. It was still like 2 a.m. or 3 a.m. in Chicago. Uh-huh. I woke up, cut on Twitter. So so wait what time is it for you it was uh 8 a.m so you you had just woken up and you see this i was like oh dante's drunk tweeting because i i like the screenshot it's like it was seven seconds now i believe he hasn't deleted this tweet yet so i saw i know he left
Starting point is 00:09:04 he certainly left it up like the day, at least. Paige Sporanek tweeted a picture of her in bikinis and stuff like that and said, come chat with me. Plus, never before seen pictures and videos, live pictures, prizes, giveaways, golf instruction, and so much more.
Starting point is 00:09:22 Click here, onlypage.com. She has an OnlyF only fans but it's just like only page it's like your own separate thing and dante posted at three in the morning done i caved with a picture of a gift from the sandlot of i can't take this no more and john john sent it to me i woke up at like 4 in the morning. I was surprised to see you tweet. Because I wrote back to you like, oh my God. So he sent it to me at 4 being like, I'm so happy that I was awake to see this before he deletes it. And then I roll over at 4 and see his text. And I was like, I want a podcast right now.
Starting point is 00:09:56 Let's go. Dante. That's the thirstiest tweet of all time. It's one of the most deranged tweets of Arsenal employees ever. Ever. tweet of all time it's one of these the saddest thing i've ever seen range tweets of barcelona employees ever for someone if you have an ounce of of uh public persona and an ounce of public of self-respect you don't do that i mean but you can't do that that's for fucking weirdo reply guys who just say that and like are anonymous it's it's like i wouldn't i believe what page sporadic launched that site she was like it's my only fans right it's and you're just replying to only fans girl
Starting point is 00:10:28 i can't and that i can't take it anymore like like like like like he's been like that to me that means like he's been looking at all the page break stuff and he's like i just can't do it anymore i gotta i gotta get your porn website and then just let like i'm the world now i'm gonna i'm gonna masturbate to you are you going back to try to find right now? Yeah. Cause the day of, I mean, Dante probably has 60,000 tweets. So it's probably hard to find. But the day of, I woke up, uh, like later in the day and then checked like, you know,
Starting point is 00:10:58 lunchtime and it was still there. So, but then we theorized maybe he didn't even know he did it. Cause if you're drunk and you just fire off one tweet and you don't go back and look at your own because it didn't get any action really i wish i was surprised that by the way i'm surprised there weren't people being like you fucking loser uh he might have just not even realized he sent it which would be that would be my favorite scenario if we call him right now and he goes what yeah that would be the greatest thing to ever happen we're up to aprilth. I've been scrolling for like three minutes.
Starting point is 00:11:26 All right. He deleted it. He deleted it. Thank God. You dirty dog. You dirty dog, Dante. That's so fast, brother. All right.
Starting point is 00:11:34 I'm going to call right now. This is going to be great. Hi. Come on. What could Dante be doing? Yo, I need a few tips on my golf swing. Give me a call back when you get a chance. He'll call back.
Starting point is 00:11:49 I think he'll call back. We'll splice him back in when he calls back. Just an all-time creepo move. I could just never imagine sending that tweet. It's one thing. Listen. Many men have succumbed to Paige Sporanek.
Starting point is 00:12:07 Yeah. No. I'm not hating on the using OnlyFans. I'm not hating on having an OnlyFans. I'm just saying specifically, there's probably about a billion dudes who said, I caved and I signed up for that. It's when you have know You have 38 Jeez You only have 38,000 followers It's when you got some followers
Starting point is 00:12:28 And you're blogging And you're doing it now And you're just gonna be like I caved It's like dude It's like dude I know you masturbated To Paige Speranek that night
Starting point is 00:12:35 That's fucking weird That's fucking weird It's okay But it's weird that I know it Yeah yeah yeah Again many a men Many a men have done it But it's weird that I know
Starting point is 00:12:44 You did it like that night. I know on April 17th, 2024, you caved. That's fucking weird. I was like, I got to fucking, I got to pay money to see. I don't know. Like, there's nothing you're doing with Paige Sporanek aside from like, Paige now just knows. She's like, Dante fucking gets his rocks off like it wasn't even
Starting point is 00:13:07 she didn't reply like thanks or like oh great it was just like okay you're just in the trash pile with the other reply guys
Starting point is 00:13:15 it's a it's a it's a bizarre tweet what do you think Jackie I think it's weird it's a weird tweet it's a weird tweet um Jackie
Starting point is 00:13:24 I have a question for you that you might have heard. Yeah. I saw it yesterday. Maybe it was on Reddit yesterday. It's a TikTok thing, so you probably heard it. And I was flabbergasted by the response at first, and then I thought more about it, and I'm like, oh, never mind, it makes perfect sense.
Starting point is 00:13:39 If you had to be trapped in the woods, would you rather be trapped in the woods with a bear or a man? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a little silly. Well, so, okay. It's still, you pick a man. Come on. No, no, no.
Starting point is 00:13:53 You're hunted by a man or a bear. Oh, okay. Because I would much rather be trapped in the woods with a man. Okay, that's different because it probably is a bear. Yeah, a bear for sure. No, no, no. I thought it was you're just trapped in the woods with. Because that, I think, is a more debatable question.
Starting point is 00:14:09 I mean, I still... Listen, a bear is going to maul you to death at some point. No, but I think like... I really think like opposable thumbs is just like a huge leg up. It's the thumbs for you. I don't know why. It's the thumbs that do it huh i mean i'm thinking if i'm if i'm a woman and i'm trapped in the woods and there's a man you can use your
Starting point is 00:14:32 feminine wiles and make that a workable situation what do you mean you can have sex with him you can you can like you know what i mean as a woman woman, you can, like, turn on your charm. But if we're already saying you're being hunted. Yeah, it's a hunting. I think you take the bear and just let the bear kill you. Again, I saw it on Reddit, so I didn't get the full thing. As I understood it, it was just you're just trapped. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:14:59 With a man or a bear. And men were very upset, it seemed, again, according to this Reddit I saw, that women seemed to have overwhelmingly chosen a bear and and men were very upset it seemed again according to this reddit i saw that women seem to have overwhelmingly chosen a bear wait what like couldn't it theoretically just be like i'm trapped in this in the woods and like there's a lumberjack and he's a nice dude who's chopping wood if you're as like a bear you know will probably eat you i think i think if so if it's just any random man on planet earth uh huh
Starting point is 00:15:27 I think you gotta I think I think you take your chances with the bear like I could see a scenario where a woman like
Starting point is 00:15:35 just is like peaceful and gentle and the bear comes over and befriends it whereas the guy is gonna be like I wanna fuck this thing
Starting point is 00:15:41 I'm gonna kill this thing if you're trapped in there for an extended period of time but as always but I think if you're. If you're trapped there for an extended period of time. But as always, but I think if you're trapped in there with a man for an extended period, any man becomes attractive. So I think it's like anything else.
Starting point is 00:15:53 It's like Tom Brady on SNL. If that dude in the woods is hot, all of a sudden you got yourself a fucking romance novel. But that's why I'm saying you're taking your chances. You got to go with that. Chances are it's going to be a fat, gross, like rapist. Right now, if you close your eyes and throw a dart at the male population, it's probably a fat rapist. Who definitely knows nothing about the woods. We're talking about, like, planet Earth.
Starting point is 00:16:13 Right. It's probably a fucking either. Like, it could just be an annoying guy. Yeah. Right. It doesn't have to be the raping and the killing. It could just be, like, stop talking. Like, fucking leave me alone, dude.
Starting point is 00:16:24 But don't you – I think I go bare. I think there's an equal – not an equal chance, but there also is a chance that, like I said, it's some fucking Prince Charming wilderness dude, and now you're living out your fucking dream fantasy of being in the woods with this man. Whereas a bear, one way or the other, probably going to maul you. Even if it might try to eat you, it might try to play with you, one way or another you're catching a paw out of the face. It's probably going to end bad with the bear. Probably going to end bad with the bear.
Starting point is 00:16:57 Now, again, it could also be like you're in a whole ass forest. Maybe this bear just leaves you alone, and you leave the bear alone. You just kind of keep dancing around. Yeah. But if the idea is, for the sake of the hypothetical, you're running into the man or the bear, you're probably going to end up dead with the bear. The man – The man you're almost definitely going to end up dead with too. Here's the problem.
Starting point is 00:17:19 Yes. But not because he's going to kill you, but just because he probably doesn't know – he's probably going to die too. Right. You'll both die together. Yeah. Not because he's going to kill you, but just because he probably doesn't know. He's probably going to die, too. Right. You'll both die together. Yeah. But here's the one thing we know for sure. Unless things go really, really south, you're not going to end up raped by the bear.
Starting point is 00:17:37 That's the only thing we can say pretty much with any certainty in this scenario. Unless the bear is a real motherfucker. So it's really, you know, pick your poison here. It's a good one, though. And it is funny that the overwhelming reaction, whether they're doing it to be funny or not, is like, we'll take a chance. And then it's even funnier that there are probably dead-ass serious men being like, oh, come on, are you serious?
Starting point is 00:17:55 I actually, like, the other epiphany that I have is, like, from Mexico City is, like, anyone, like, everyone's cool. Like, you can start to like anyone, you know? Like, even if you sit next to somebody on a plane for like an hour and you don't talk to them you still feel kind of like connected to them I go back and forth on whether or not the general per general population the average person is like good or bad. And I think... I think it's overwhelmingly good. Good, yeah. Overwhelming.
Starting point is 00:18:29 Like 99.9%. Even like the bad people are like... Everyone's just trying to get by. I mean... Exactly. Right, right, right. I don't want to say good, good, but like I think 99.999% of people
Starting point is 00:18:40 just want to do something during their day, get home, have a few beers, have a few laughs, maybe have a little sex. Go to onlypage.com and have a night and be done. And just do it again. Like there's... Yeah. But so that's why, you know.
Starting point is 00:18:55 All right. Then chances are that that man is probably going to be fine. What's your bar for being bad though? Like you said, most people are bad. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's... I mean, yeah.
Starting point is 00:19:03 I'm not talking about like murderers and shit. I think people are generally selfish. I think the average person you run into is probably going to look out for themselves over you. Yes, but I think you're allowed to be selfish. I think you'd be selfish as long as it doesn't affect other people's lives. That's what I mean. If it came down to it. I think if it comes down to it, you're in like a public setting, transportation, flying a plane at a bar or whatever.
Starting point is 00:19:31 And there is some sort of thing where it's like me or them, people pick them. Where it's like, I don't know. This is my seat on the plane or it's my reservation or whatever. And they'll be like, fuck you. I'm taking it. Whereas I would always be like, I'll let that person go first or whatever and they'll be like fuck you i'm taking it whereas i would always be like i'll let that person go first or whatever yeah and i think other people the i think flip a coin chances are that person will not reciprocate that wait the other day on the train i saw this guy like he was sitting on the train and this other guy like came on and he
Starting point is 00:20:01 just like tapped him on the shoulder and like he got up from the seat and like let the guy have a seat the guy was like his size the guy was so offended i think it was like a bit the guy was like oh absolutely if somebody just came up to me was like you can have my seat as a dude yeah you know what that's a great uh you know that guy and he sat down like such a bitch yeah who's that guy whose whole thing is like how to offend men with pickup lines you know that guy oh yeah yeah that's that's like number one on the list give up your seat for another man oh that's fucking great start doing that this happened to clamor before hey man hey man you want my seat look at his legs he can't he can't stand up dude speaking of public things i when i was in dublin we i was walking and i came really
Starting point is 00:20:46 close to getting assaulted it was like like i spotted the guy from a mile away like i was on one side of the street ran on the on the river liffey and i was with two of my buddies and they they're both like rugby guys so they're both like bigger dudes And this guy Bro if you're the smallest one in the group No I will That's the wrong That's the wrong group to try to fight Well that My buddies had the coolest line all the time
Starting point is 00:21:12 He So this guy I could tell he was like whacked out He was across the street And I could kind of just see He was a little whacked out And he just came like running over Johnny clocked him
Starting point is 00:21:21 And then he like He pulled his arm back And I actually never took my hands out of my pockets. I kind of just went like that. No way. And then he kept screaming in Irish shit and then my two buddies
Starting point is 00:21:31 started yelling Irish shit back at him. And we just kind of kept walking and it was fine. Wait, does that mean English that you couldn't understand?
Starting point is 00:21:37 Yeah. Okay. Yeah, it was like, I don't know what the fuck you guys are saying. Right. And one of my buddies
Starting point is 00:21:43 just goes, he just goes, best thing that guy will ever do in his life. I don't know why the fuck you guys are saying. And one of my buddies just goes, best thing that guy will ever do in his life. I don't know why. He's British. He goes, best thing that guy will ever do in his life is not throw that punch. I was like, that was sick. But anyway, that is a different story. So these guys, I went by a stadium called the GAA, which is like the Gaelic Athletic Association,
Starting point is 00:22:04 which is like the only Irish sports allowed to be played there. And they were telling me a story about how they played rugby there. And they were in like the first match ever in that stadium that wasn't an Irish team versus an Irish team. Because like it was that's the stadium where Bloody Sunday happened. When the British just rolled tanks in and just started shooting up the fucking stands yeah and lit it up and then they got to play in a rugby game where they because their stadium had been taken down or was under construction whatever they got to play in a rugby game versus england in stadium. And I was like, that must be, that must have been the most intense. He's like, we were like 20 years old.
Starting point is 00:22:50 He's like, that was the most intense game. They hadn't won in like 15 years. And then they beat England that game. He's like, it was literal. I mean, that's the greatest game of all time. They should make a movie about that. Bro, the. Who the fuck ought, if I'm playing for english's england's
Starting point is 00:23:05 national team no fucking chance i'm blaming that game i was like man that must be so awesome to like have a game against like the people who oppressed and fucking like slaughtered your your grandparents like you. You have family members who fucking remember it and you get to be on that field and the emotion of that game must have been insane. And then I was like,
Starting point is 00:23:31 that's what black people feel every day. That's why we get our fucking asses kicked every goddamn game. Literally, I was trying to come up with another scenario. And I was like, it's all of them. All the time. I was like, man, that would be like if I got to play against the British in the fucking 1776. Oh, no, never mind.
Starting point is 00:23:57 That's like every high school football game I played. Every time a white guy gets dunked on, that's what's going on, man. That's what's happening. That's very funny. Your grandparents are gassing you up for the game. You gotta take it to the British today. You remember what they did to our family? You're like, fuck!
Starting point is 00:24:18 I'm the British! I'm the fucking British! But the Irish won that game? And they usually don't? That was like the first time. I forget what the number was. Like 15 years or something like that. Rugby's also just the ultimate like dude sport. You know what I mean? Like that's, it's one step
Starting point is 00:24:33 above just fighting. Yeah. I got a bill on this one. Too hot? Yeah. You got layers on layers on layers, dude. I wore the sweater knowing that it was going to be too hot. It's too much. Come back in style. You did the unthinkable and held off on Taylor the whole trip?
Starting point is 00:24:55 Yep. Well, it came out my last day when I had real bad food poisoning. It came out Friday. I would love a food poisoning count over the last decade and a half. It's crazy. How many times do you think you've had food poisoning since I've known you? I don't know, man. Iron stomach.
Starting point is 00:25:10 It's either iron or not, though. No, it's not. It's the opposite. It's like everything you eat, you have food poisoning. And when you say food poisoning, you mean like my belly hurts or like it's coming out of all holes? Sometimes it's belly hurts. This one was a bad one. This one was.
Starting point is 00:25:24 This one's almost one of those you lose like 10 pounds you're like oh yeah i'm down i'm 212 right now yeah you're feeling good i'm 212 right now that's i might be 12 right now the uh but it was um i was gonna say yeah no it was it was like i got it the morning i had to take a train from galway to Dublin and I came down to the hotel and my mom and dad were already down there and I was like 20 minutes ago
Starting point is 00:25:48 I did not think I was making this train and I made it to Dublin and then it got way worse why was I saying this though? sorry I interrupted you it was Taylor Swift
Starting point is 00:25:58 oh yeah yeah yeah so it came out Friday morning and I wasn't feeling I mean you still lasted several days Without listening
Starting point is 00:26:06 That's a lot Yeah Yeah I For Swifty It is And I
Starting point is 00:26:12 I thought about it And then It actually It kind of became a thing To me Where like Sometimes you do this Like I've
Starting point is 00:26:19 I've never There's some movies I've never seen Where it's just like At one point I didn't I wasn't in the mood And I was like
Starting point is 00:26:24 I do want to watch this But I'm not in the mood right now. And then it kind of just never happens. And so now it becomes a thing. Friday, I didn't listen intentionally. And I got to be honest. I don't hate missing the hoopla. I like Taylor Swift. I don't like mass hysteria.
Starting point is 00:26:41 I hate them. If I was like a Swifty from 06, I would fucking hate what happened. Yeah. Because it's the ultimate – this happens very, very typically in music. It's the ultimate I knew them before they blew up. Right, right, right. But it truly – it's like I don't – like it would ruin it for me. If everybody started acting like that about my favorite person, I would be like, you guys are the worst.
Starting point is 00:27:04 There are certainly aspects of it where you're like – but it's weird to claim ownership too. But it's like, yo, great if that's how you enjoy it. Right, because then you're being the snob. I'm a bigger fan than you. But if it's objectively like, yo, you came around pretty recently and you're doing all this shit and I got to put up with it now i actually when i woke up tuesday morning i did have some people i follow no one who works here who i like whose tweets i saw i was like oh you are like like going crazy about i'm like dude i knew you fucking 15 years like and again i'm happy taylor has more fans and all that stuff but it's just like i don't i can like taylor swift without
Starting point is 00:27:41 doing that and some people like be part of that some people don't like being part of it i i kind of don't um so i was happy to avoid um all the hoopla and i listened for the first time last night and i'll be honest my first listen i was like good really good but it wasn't one of my favorite out or favorite albums of hers like folklore right off the rip i was like this is fucking unbelievable ever more off the rip midnights i really liked this probably is more of a lover type for me where i really like it but it's not one of my favorite albums of hers um but the one thing i did think of while while listening because i know i know people are like how does she keep doing all this how does she keep making all this music and shit it is a little crazy to put out 31 new songs when you're on tour and you put out an album a year ago.
Starting point is 00:28:26 Well, I think that maybe Taylor Swift is the only artist who ever worked. I was going to say. If you talk to any artist ever about one of their songs, that's like 20 minutes. It's not hard to write a fucking song. It's hard to write a song. It's hard to have that ability and that talent. But a song is four minutes long. A song is a block. It's not that hard to write a fucking song It's hard to write a song It's hard to have that ability and that talent But like a song is four minutes long A song's a block
Starting point is 00:28:47 It's not that hard to write a song If you're good at it Yeah I like it It's fine If that Post Malone song took any more than 15 minutes to write It's fine But it's just like
Starting point is 00:28:59 Some Taylor Swift songs Fortnite wasn't one of my immediate like hits Some Taylor Swift songs And some like pop in general, you can tell are like, lyrics are great, and there's multiple verses and a bridge and pieces of the song. And then some of them are like, that's a pop song. There's like 20 words in a total. You repeat the chorus like 30 times, and the beat's like, you know? And some of those songs are those things,
Starting point is 00:29:25 you know? I mean, I would also think that like if, if I was Taylor Swift, if I was Taylor Swift, I'd probably go through my album process where, what would I imagine you do is you write like 20 or 30 songs and you whittle it down to like 10 or 12 and then you're like,
Starting point is 00:29:40 let's just put them all out because, because honestly I, to go back to Dante, well, I'll send you a little. I'll send you some money for this episode. We're talking about you a lot, Dante. He was tweeting like, I think we've gotten to a point where nobody would even be honest about if they didn't like a Taylor Swift song if they didn't. So I think that they probably know that. They're like, let's just put out. These are songs that would have been scrapped or this would have been a deluxe or whatever just put them all
Starting point is 00:30:08 out and just basically do a double album because everyone's gonna say all of these are the best song they've ever heard right bug it but yeah i i kind of agree with you that like if if you are good at it it's probably like you know work is relative where it's like normal people – like if you worked all day from 9 to 5 as a writer, as a music artist, you'd probably write like a billion songs. Right. It's like – but I guess – It's not that hard to write.
Starting point is 00:30:35 But I think the part of it is experience. It's experiences. You have to have something to draw on. Taylor goes on tour. Sure. She goes on dates she yeah she lives a life if you're just I actually felt that a little bit with this not to compare myself to Taylor Swift but it's like if all you do is this then when it comes time to do this you don't have yeah I think that's what when you get famous enough I think that's what happens with a lot of musicians comedians they say it happens
Starting point is 00:31:03 a lot we're talking about being you They say it happens a lot. We're just talking about being famous. You're not living life, so you don't really have things to joke about. Yeah, yeah. Was it 30 Rock? There's Tracy Jordan. He can't do stand-up anymore because he just talks about lobster and St. Barts. I mean, it's for sure in rap. I know that.
Starting point is 00:31:21 That's a very big thing in the rap game because it was also new enough that it was the first time people were ever getting to their 40s and 50s and kids and shit. And it's like, yeah, all we got now is money. That's why Jay-Z came out with an album and Nas came out with an album that started to explore being older and mature in rap. But, yeah, I mean part of it is just got to do shit. I feel like other musicians are watching Taylor and being like, for fucking a thousand years we've had them fooled that it takes a year to make an album like but not even like there are people who put out albums like once every several years i mean i've been i've been going you know rap crazy this whole week the one time i don't have an outlet to scream into a microphone is when i wanted to talk about music but uh like you know Kendrick Lamar puts out albums like every three years like
Starting point is 00:32:09 what are you doing and I'm not saying like because again you need to be inspired if I would guess the longer a song takes to write the worse it is like it's got one it's got it just hit you and go right if you're stressing it and and forcing it's probably not that good I'm comparing them to blogs because just of length but like a blog that you worked on for a long time isn't as good as just like yeah it just like pours out of you but i'm not even saying because if you if you have like a standard for your music and you're like uh everything in my life has been good and i haven't had any struggle and i and i don't have anything to write about and i'm gonna wait for that okay fine but then like literally what are you doing every day yeah what if you're okay you're not on tour you
Starting point is 00:32:48 go on tour that's fine every other day for those you know two years let's say you're on tour for one year you're working for one year like there's two whole years in there it's like what happens when you wake up in the morning that you can't just be like let me write some write a couple lyrics because if you just write a couple bars a couple hooks here and there you'd be done it's but i don't know i mean who knows i would love an honest answer of that from like a real musician but they probably it's probably like don't we don't like a magician magician doesn't secrets we got a great gig the uh just keeps working like the the rap stuff is very funny uh it's it's now it's now just devolved into rappers making fun of other rappers for their worse record deals so like
Starting point is 00:33:40 drake makes fun of kendrick lamar because kendrick Lamar allegedly has to give 50% of his money to the first music label that signed him. And then Drake now allegedly people think he has – he got $400 million cash and he has ownership in this new music group. And that a lot of the same – a lot of the artists who are like beefing with him, like he gets a lot of the percentage for that. So he comes out and says like that's a cute little record deal you got there. Like I – alluding that he has ownership. for that so he comes out and says like that's a cute little record deal you got there like i you know alluding that he has ownership and then kanye comes and puts out his disc and he's like making fun of drake because drake has to give a cut to the head of apple like like that you know his name's lucian gray he's like the head of it's like at the top of the music industry is this guy
Starting point is 00:34:24 and kanye's being like that's cute that you have to give money to him it's like at the top of the music industry is this guy. And Kanye is being like, that's cute that you have to give money to him. It's like, what? Because he's fully independent. He raps about Lucian a lot. What's that? I think Drake raps about that guy a lot. Yeah, I think Lucian is the guy who – I think they went to him and they were like, we'll give you a better deal on streaming.
Starting point is 00:34:40 We'll give you a better deal on this and that. This sounds exactly like Tracy Jordan eating lobster. We're like in, in distracts is like Apple executives. Yeah. Well, that's the other thing too, is it's gotten,
Starting point is 00:34:50 I mean, I guess it's good that, you know, it's not dangerous or anything, but it's like, we're now just talking about, uh, terms and contracts and shit.
Starting point is 00:34:56 Somebody go fuck someone's wife. Come on, let's get back to it, man. But, uh, yeah, Kanye,
Starting point is 00:35:03 Kanye just dropping a stick of dynamite in it Is pretty funny Because I think he's actually genuinely fucking around I think the rest of these guys all have their shit And I think he's just like goofing off He's like I can't even think of a Drake line That's a great Put on J. Cole and the pussy gets dry
Starting point is 00:35:16 Dude J. Cole I mean I've been talking about it forever now But like what he did He's just, he's getting dissed by both sides of a rap album. It's the worst. It's like, it's so bad.
Starting point is 00:35:33 And everyone's like, nah, he's like mature and at peace. And like, he's peaceful with his decision. It's like, yeah, right. Yeah, fucking right, dude. When Kanye's saying that your music makes the pussy dry and everyone's making fun of you and shit, it's like, no. Did you see the meme he posted? Kanye posted? What was it again?
Starting point is 00:35:49 It was just like some weird like Japanimation type of meme. And it's like this, like these little like weeble wobble type people, right? You know what I'm talking about? Kind of. And it says like this girl says, do you listen to J. Cole? And the next frame, it's him saying no. And the next frame is her sucking his dick. It's just so mean.
Starting point is 00:36:12 It's so stupid and so mean. I absolutely love it. It was a great – I think the episode should be out now. I went on an episode of a podcast over the break uh called road podcast with a couple of djs from new york and i was like i was like i got i haven't been able to talk to anybody about this i was like i texted trent i texted clem anybody that i thought maybe still listens to rap and they were like no i haven't been paying attention i was like no no so if you want to hear uh a good rap discussion these guys know like everything about the industry
Starting point is 00:36:46 inside and out it's called the road podcast it should be out now i um i didn't i didn't hear any of the disses or anything like that i did hear i don't know if it's real or not the donald glover kanye song no i didn't hear this i don't i don't know anything about this but i i think so i i don't know if it's real or whatever. By the way, I have to go on that rant. If you make AI music, in the beginning I remember being like, eh, it's fine, whatever. I don't care about it like taking over the world. I just fucking hate that the initial reaction to everything is, is this real? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:22 It sucks so much dick. That guy who made the the ai kendrick disc like put out a explainer video like here's how i did it and it's like fuck that sucks dude we don't like it it's not like oh show me how you did it it's like hey don't ever do this again because then it ruins when the songs actually do come out you fucking asshole but i know i know charlie campino was going on his Instagram and he was going to play music. And I think this is a real recording from it. So I believe he's putting out – I think I heard he's putting out a double album, one of them as Childish Gambino and one of them as Donald Glover maybe.
Starting point is 00:37:56 Oh, really? I think I heard the one album is the end of Childish Gambino. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, bro, talk about one of the most underrated guys. Well, I guess I can't say that anymore because he's won fucking every award under the sun, but still just underappreciated. To be funny enough to do comedy specials. I mean, he wrote on 30 Rock.
Starting point is 00:38:19 Right, some of the funniest TV shows. Do like some groundbreaking television with Atlanta. And be like an awesome rapper when he does it. It's insane. That is so, like there's not many of them. That guy should be like at the top of everyone's list. And I don't think, like that, I mean maybe it's a jack of all trades sort of thing. Yeah. I don't think, you'd be hard pressed to find people who say Childish Gambino is their favorite comedian
Starting point is 00:38:45 or actor or rapper, when in reality it's like he should be at the top of every single person's list because he can do all this shit at the highest level. You know who I was saying was also overrated? This might be a bad take because he might be incredibly overrated. Tyler Perry is a billionaire, and I never knew that until this week.
Starting point is 00:39:01 He's just so massive. I mean, I think he's kind of... it's kind of like – not like a joke, but it's just like he makes like soap opera-y type shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. I've never seen a movie. He's like the Nickelback almost of that where it's like, yeah, man, my – like, oh, my movies aren't good. Let me go back to my – I think he has like a compound in Atlanta. It's like a – that's part of the state.
Starting point is 00:39:23 Where he – His house in LA Is where the fucking Harry and Megan lived When they first left the Because he said like You can go upstate my place right Game time Is the official ticketing partner
Starting point is 00:39:35 Of Barstool Sports I'm looking at it right now Oh Oh the differences In New York sports Right now Granted of course It's the playoffs
Starting point is 00:39:44 It's the Mecca. It's Madison Square Garden. But tonight, Sixers at Knicks. Cheapest ticket right now on game time, $249. Tonight, Cardinals at Mets, Citi Field. Lowest ticket. What's your guess? Cardinals at Mets tonight at Citi Field.
Starting point is 00:40:09 Fucking nailed it on the button. Three bucks. $249. That is... But you know what? The Yankees are three bucks as well. Baseball is cheap. There's so many games.
Starting point is 00:40:22 So regular, random, regular season games. But if you are on a budget. Dude, if you're on a budget, there's events under $50. Tomorrow night, we got two great shows in New York. Games We Play is at Grand Missy Theater. Games We Play, fire. And then at Bowery Ballroom, Augustana. And that's how much?
Starting point is 00:40:43 Under $50? Augustana is $27. Games We Play Under 50 bucks? Augustana's 27. Games we play, 31. I'm going to pretend I know what those shows are. You know Augustana. I don't think I do. I think I'll go to Boston. You know the Boston song.
Starting point is 00:40:58 It's not. Are we talking about music or a musical? Music. That's the beauty of game time, dude. There's something for everybody. Every fan base, whether you're going to music, whether you're going to sports, whether you're going to comedy, whether you're going to Broadway, acting, musical, all that stuff. Game time is the official way to get in the building
Starting point is 00:41:16 because they have up-to-the-minute pricing, which means I'm sure it'll be like a dollar by the time it's first pitch tonight for the Mets. You can get in the building for free, practically because it's up to the second pricing. Also, everything all guaranteed. You have to worry about any fraudulent secondhand tickets. This is all guaranteed that you will get in there. They also have the sections of their app like under 50 bucks or let me see what's going on in my region. They have flash deals where you can get deals
Starting point is 00:41:45 based on your region. So it's like this zone is at a discount. There's also events and teams that have flash deals. So anytime out of nowhere you turn your notifications on, it'll pop up
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Starting point is 00:42:39 shrunk down right and it's got these big barn doors that swing out. And I put all my cardboard boxes in there. I have a shit ton of cardboard. Can't put it all out at once to get recycled. So I put it in. And I close the door and then it has like a metal latch that goes over it. And then a little thing that you turn so that it's like perpendicular, right? And this is rusted old metal. And when I turn it, it like scrapes the metal.
Starting point is 00:43:07 And multiple times now I go outside and the doors are just wide open. The doors are either wide open or the metal thing has been turned so that it's 180. So that if the flap does come undone, it would just be wide open. It's too tight and too rusted and too old to be like, it just, you know, the wind do it, did it. Somebody or something is turning that fucking up and I don't know what it is.
Starting point is 00:43:32 So I got to get simply safe because I've got, uh, I need, I need the indoor cameras. I need the outdoor cameras. Cause I got weird stuff going on up at Clancy Manor and simply safe is the best home security system in 2024. As told by us news world and report. AlsopliSafe is the best home security system in 2024 as told by
Starting point is 00:43:45 US News World and Report. Also Newsweek said it was the best customer service so they are the number one home security. Now what I don't know, you know, a lot of home security is obviously deterring and preventing and whatnot. I'm going to call up SimpliSafe and be like, what do you do about this? What are you going to
Starting point is 00:44:01 tell me to do now? Because I got something going on here. We'll see just how good Simpl good simply safe really is because right now simply safe is too good to be true almost they got a 60-day guarantee uh with money back risk-free if you don't love it they send you that full refund they have monitoring agents that will help stop crime in real time so i'm gonna call you up and be like someone's opening up the barn do something about it uh they also have protection against flooding, fires, burglaries. Anything that can harm your home, SimpliSafe has got you covered. And they will send somebody over from dispatch when you need it most.
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Starting point is 00:45:05 This is very hard to do. I can't figure out how I'm going to do this. I want to get kidnapped. Okay. Because I want to know how I... I'll be honest, right off the rip, that is hard to arrange. Yeah. If you made a list of people you want to kidnap,
Starting point is 00:45:27 you are low on the list, bro. I just want to see how I'd react in the situation. Because we were talking about my parents and they were telling me a story of someone who got kidnapped or whatever. And I was like, I think I do.
Starting point is 00:45:40 What? It wasn't like a family friend. Oh, like a news story. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the I was like – and I think the person got let go and I was like, I appreciate that would happen to me. And they were just like, get out. They were like – they didn't care and they were – the people couldn't get them to do
Starting point is 00:46:00 what they wanted them to do because they weren't upset about being kidnapped. Totally, yeah. And I was like, I think that's's i think i'd be like you you so dumb you wouldn't be afraid enough your family wouldn't pay any ransom we know deep down we'd be like well this is kind of like what he wanted so like we miss him but not really like this is what john wanted uh and then eventually they'd be like well this is just a waste of our time Yeah like We can't fuck them I think about that when I'm watching like Does anybody want to fuck them?
Starting point is 00:46:29 No Then get rid of them Fucking put them back out there And they're like scream for me And they're like shut the fuck up And just do And I think that's what I would do I don't know
Starting point is 00:46:37 So I want to find out for real Okay how about this So Along the lines of Those guys that we made fun of a couple weeks ago Who run those fantasy camps For like Marines Yeah yeah yeah
Starting point is 00:46:47 What if What if Okay okay Let's flesh this out This is your service What's the one thing We all always say Like when
Starting point is 00:46:56 When we're in like The shower And you're just like Having your shower thoughts We always think about What we would say on the couch At the At the late night show
Starting point is 00:47:04 And what we would do in a extreme situation. So why don't, it would all have to be a surprise, but it's like, okay, I know that about you. So for your birthday this year, at some point this year, hire someone to kidnap you. Because if you know it's coming, whatever. But see, this is now the problem of ever mentioning it. Because now no matter when I get kidnapped. You're going to be like, this, whatever. This is now the problem of ever mentioning it.
Starting point is 00:47:25 Because now no matter what I get kidnapped. You're going to be like, this is fake. This is fake. This is so dumb. That would be a good. That's another good. I'll be secretly happy. Like, he's weirdly into it.
Starting point is 00:47:37 The guy's going back to the boss. We're trying hard to scare him. He doesn't fucking care. He keeps saying it's stupid, but then whispering, great gift, Kevin. You can lean into it a little more. Don't worry. I think that it's like if – as long as – like if you got this from me, I would hate you and never forgive you. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:47:57 You, I know you like it. And we'll get to see – because you know what? It would be interesting you could come back to this podcast with a whole new perspective being like either like i know what i would do and it was like i i thought what i was gonna do and i did it or you could be like yo don't ever think that you're gonna be tough and it's fucking scary you know having that perspective like nope you're gonna shit your pants trust me i shit my pants because if you shit your pants a Trust me. I shit my pants. Because if you shit your pants, a lot of other people are going to shit their pants. I just, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:48:28 I really can't, we'll never know. Probably. We'll get those people, we'll get the people who run those haunted houses that are very like the extreme ones.
Starting point is 00:48:35 Yeah, yeah, yeah. It'll be like you kidnap or you fuck, you know, whether it's a kidnapping or like a, you want to know if you're out with your girl
Starting point is 00:48:41 and someone like steps to you and you want like, I would love to see what I do in that situation. All right, we'll send that guy over. Well, there's that show. What would you do? Which is a show where people like act awful in public.
Starting point is 00:48:51 But I'm sure it needs to be like so we just need to what would you do one up it, you know? Yeah. The show where people are like racist in restaurants and it's like you're at the table next door and stuff like that. Yes. I've seen that. So we'll just do but you're the victim. Yeah. What like that. Yes. I've seen that. So we'll just do, but you're the victim. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:06 Okay. It's funny to think about it. It's like, there's definitely been situations where like a kidnapper, because if you're going to kidnap somebody, you got to be like feeling a hundred percent. You got to be like ready to run and everything. If I'm kidnapping,
Starting point is 00:49:21 you got to be ready to kidnap someone. You got to be like ready to run from the cops, ready to run if the hostage runs, whatever. So if like they've been like i honestly ate too much at dinner tonight like i had too much i have not been working out before yeah they're like i'm not like it's kind of my tip-top shape yeah like it's definitely happened because they like accidentally had too much like ice cream after dinner so nobody's gonna talk about it think about how often you're like like this is pretty much a dream job as far as like, if you wake up in the morning and the only thing you got to do is talk to your friends. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:52 You're fine, right? There are still days you wake up, you're like, I don't know. Can you imagine when you wake up in the morning, you're like, it's kidnap day. We've been planning this for months. And today I got to fucking put this mask on and take this gun and fucking throw this person in a van. I got to yell out loud. I got to scare them. Fuck, man.
Starting point is 00:50:11 You said that. Kidnapping getting canceled has got to be the best. Dude, we'll do it tomorrow. Yes. You said that text, like the soft cancel. Like, hey, bud, I've been thinking. I'm not feeling so hot today. You know, the weather's...
Starting point is 00:50:25 Say you either. Say you either. Say you either. The weather's not really so good. Maybe we should wait until it's sunny out. Yeah, I think that's a good idea. Yeah. On the other end, just celebrating.
Starting point is 00:50:37 No kidnapping! It's a snow day for criminals. That's great. Let's try Dante one more time. While you do that, we can pull up one other Barstool tweet. Some people know John Rich. He's been in the Minifan world. He runs the rundown.
Starting point is 00:50:58 Great guy who I really like. One of the definitions of the new people we brought in who just like puts his head down and works and, uh, provides some content, uh, used to do meth. I always liked that little tidbit about him. Uh,
Starting point is 00:51:11 and he tweeted, I have a recurring wet dream that I'm about to play hockey, but I can never get to the game. I'll be missing a piece of equipment. My skate blade will break. This time I got lost looking for the rink. Okay. Whatever, right?
Starting point is 00:51:29 I get so worked up that I come and then wake up. It's always devastating. What does this mean? I woke up this morning and saw this tweet and I was... I love your question, Mark. It's just like, what? Like even when I first started to read it, I thought he just mixed up recurring dream and wet dream
Starting point is 00:51:53 and just put them together because it was all about sports and shit. You know, it's like, oh, I keep having this recurring dream about like I missed my test in high school. Yeah. And he just put wet in there by accident. And then none of it has to do with sex. And then he just says, and I keep coming.
Starting point is 00:52:07 I get so worked up that I cum. Bro, what? Is he in the building? I was hoping to start apologizing for prematurely ejaculating. I'm sorry. I got so worked up that I came. I mean, it is the definition. That's why.
Starting point is 00:52:23 Every time I cum, I just came because I got so worked up. It's just we get worked up about different things, I suppose. I don't get as worked up about a missing skate blade. Yeah, like this doesn't make sense that you would come from missing the game. It would make sense if he was like, I scored the winning goal, and I got so worked up, I come. This is like I'm upset, and I just got – I am sorry. I got so worked up that come this is like i'm upset and i just got i am sorry i got so worked up bro you
Starting point is 00:52:46 know that that means he worked when he wakes up and he's like fuck i missed the game again and he's like i'm a mess god i got this boxers full of not only did i miss the game i got again i also came once again the fact that you can wake up as a – he's like 30, right? He's older? Yeah, I think he's maybe a little younger, but like 28. You're 28 years old. You wake up and you look down at your boxes and you go, again? Every time.
Starting point is 00:53:16 It's a fucking game. Every time. What would you do if you were dating a guy who has this happen? Like you wake up in the morning next to your boyfriend and he's like, I got so worked up I came again. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't tell me that. Don't share that information.
Starting point is 00:53:36 Run to the bathroom. Definitely don't tweet it. Yeah, I know. So that's the other thing. I actually love it. Part of me is respect, brother. You're truly putting all your business out there. But some things are just not meant to be on the internet.
Starting point is 00:53:49 It's just not. Dante is in the air. What's up? He can still talk, no? On a plane? No. Damn. Well, a little teaser for you next episode.
Starting point is 00:54:05 We'll talk to Dante About his unbearably Overwhelming horniness Oh Oh The most important thing That happened on this trip Totally forgot about it First of all
Starting point is 00:54:19 I do want to just say When I bought that sweater I cried What? I teared up. Why? You bought it in Ireland? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:54:27 The, so. Is it important? I like how you said you teared up. Like, that was a better question. The, it was just a sweet, right? So. What? The, so we were in Galway.
Starting point is 00:54:40 And we hear. We were at this place, this restaurant. Ard Bear, I think it's called, the woman who owns that restaurant knitted all of Colin Farrell's sweaters in benches. And so me and my brother were like, well. Stop everything. Nothing else matters. We need to get one of these sweaters. Are they expensive?
Starting point is 00:55:01 I would imagine so we couldn't get an appointment. It's not something like I'm a little shop and nobody knows. It's like it's now become a thing. No, no, no. It's just that she's – it's what she's always done. She owns the restaurant. She's just a restaurant owner. It's a very nice restaurant.
Starting point is 00:55:17 But she's just like – I think it's just like a side thing she does. Got it. And it was just like there were no available – she wasn't available, whatever it was. The week you were there. Yeah, my brother talked to her. One of the restaurants talked. But so he was like, wait do you have another uh sweater like where's the other best sweaters here and they're like this place called i don't know how they pronounced it but it was omali's it was o apostrophe m-a-l-l-i-e and we go in and this woman is just, like, really hunchback, really, like, very old. And a woman who lived in a shoe sort of shit.
Starting point is 00:55:53 Yeah. And, like, they're all hand-knit, and she knits them all and all that shit. And there was, like, a sign that was, like, everything must go. I'm like, whoa, everything must go? Like, what's going on? And she's like, ah, we're getting into the store and oh you like move changing locations she's like no i'm my back gave out i'm 86 years old i'm retiring i'm you know i'm done and i was like oh okay like uh that's very sad but you know we'd love to grab it and she finds this one for me and she's like
Starting point is 00:56:23 it like almost like it hit her. It was her last sweater. She's like, this is the last one. What? And she's like, in this size or in that color. And she's like, this is it. She's like, this is the last one. And then we kind of just like sat there like in silence.
Starting point is 00:56:41 And I was like, it's beautiful. She's like, well, thank you very much, lad. I hope you enjoy it and you enjoy your life. like in silence and i was like it's beautiful she's like well thank you very much lad i hope you enjoy it and you enjoy your life and i was like oh my god i was i think i was in the early stages of food poisoning because i was very emotional i was like i was like oh my god the way she said like have a nice life enjoy it and enjoy your life and i was like oh my god that's the most amazing sad beautiful thing i've ever heard in my whole life. It's a great sweater.
Starting point is 00:57:08 Yeah. But anyway, why did I say that? Oh, yes. The most important part of the trip. That was the second most important part. The most important part of the trip. I flew Aer Lingus. Okay.
Starting point is 00:57:17 Aer Lingus boards in the back. Saves no time. I never understood why it would. That must be like... What they need to do is go from the back and the front, and then you would save time. You'd meet in the middle. But even then you wouldn't.
Starting point is 00:57:35 But at least there's just like, we both can go at the same time. But just picking this end or that end is never going to... Am I missing something? Is there a reason why boarding from the back would save time? I know it's what people scream every time you're at the airport like if you just boarded from the back it's faster and it turns out that the entire airline industry has done more research than regular ass people a guy who goes to scottsdale once a year like it is it was
Starting point is 00:58:01 it was insane in fact it we started boarding 45 minutes earlier rather than a half hour earlier. So it might take more time. I don't know. But, yeah, it was no discernible difference. Because no matter what, you can't board from row 50, then row 49. It doesn't matter if the row is 1 or 50. It doesn't matter what we name the fucking rows. It's just you're still getting in one door and filling up one, too.
Starting point is 00:58:26 Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's crazy to me. And I was thinking about it. I was like, this must be what, like, scientists feel like every day. Totally. Where, like, people are just screaming. And they're like, no, we did it. Well, this is why.
Starting point is 00:58:39 We thought of that, guys. We tried it. We tried. That's why, though, like. If you're at a gate and you're just talking to some random guy that guy will be convinced that if you board from the back it is a smoother faster process that would take five minutes to get on that plane if everyone just boards from the back not the case can you google it i just don't even get what the logic there has to be something that
Starting point is 00:58:59 i'm not thinking of that they think you do just google like is is it that in? Just Google like is it faster to bore from the back and let me even just see what their argument is. Doesn't the term Aer Lingus boards from the back kind of sound like a sexual joke? Totally. When he said Lingus
Starting point is 00:59:12 I was about to make a sex joke and I didn't and then he said bore from the back and I was like yeah, yeah, yeah. Bore from the back actually somehow sounds nastier. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:59:21 I think what the argument is is that people if you're in because then you're not waiting for people to put their bags on because they you're in Because then you're not waiting For people to put their bags up Because they're already on So you're not waiting For people to put their bags up
Starting point is 00:59:30 And sit down Because they're Okay But when you're boarding From the back You can't start You can't board row by row by row So you still have to board in sections
Starting point is 00:59:37 And then someone in row 29 Is holding up Someone getting to row 33 Like it does There's people There's always someone Holding up rows Also there's just Unless you pre. There's always someone holding up rows. Also, there's just never –
Starting point is 00:59:45 Unless you pre-board and have everyone line up outside and get on the plane like that. But that's insane. That takes time too. Also, there's never enough overhead space anymore. Oh, that's a big point of contention. So when I am on row 2 but I got to go put my shit at row seven or eight. Then I'm moving in and moving back. So no matter when you – I boarded after you, but I'm going to go further than you. It's just the whole fucking thing doesn't make sense.
Starting point is 01:00:15 Rear to front boarding method was slowest, clocking in at 24 minutes and 29 seconds. Rear to front was slowest. Okay. Yeah, and that the regular way was 14 minutes and 55 seconds. Significantly slower. Yeah, I mean double. That's almost fucking double. I actually thought it was going to be about even.
Starting point is 01:00:34 It's significantly slower. That is... So you know what you need to do? Now you need to be the guy at the airport yelling back. Yeah. It's actually factually not. They did the test. 173 people boarded it was almost twice as long but can you imagine like how annoying that must be for people who don't for people who work in the airline industry like we fucking did it guys because everyone is so
Starting point is 01:00:58 convinced that if you go from the back it's just and no we fucking we tried it we tried guys yeah we we i mean that's pretty much the world you know it's just and no we fucking we tried it we tried guys yeah we we i mean that's pretty much the world you know it's just like everybody telling you your business when it's like i'm an expert in this fucking field um by the way while we're speaking of planes and airlines and stuff i think i think i have to uh call cap as they say, on Rico Bosco. What is this? He said he had another incident where he told somebody to not get up and cut in front. You know what I mean? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:01:33 And I'm just like, I don't know. I guess I've seen some proof here. He said it was some – he said it – they played it on the Dave and Kirk show with Whitney. It was like he said there was a guy next to him and he was like, yeah, watch this. Watch this. Oh, you got a big surgery? Something, doctor? You know, you need to do it.
Starting point is 01:01:50 You need to get ahead of us. And he's like, and they told me when he got off, he told me like, good job, man. I was like, I just, I don't know anymore, man. I don't know if I believe this, Rico. I have told it to Rico. Until I see it. You tell me once, fine. But now it sounds like he's told like to Rico. Until I see it. You tell me one's fine, but now it sounds like he's told multiple times.
Starting point is 01:02:06 Well, there is a common denominator on these issues that Rico keeps having, and that issue would be Rico. He's like, I keep stopping assholes on the plane. It seems like you keep being an asshole on the plane. It's what the issue appears to be here, Rico. Like you keep being an asshole on the plane. It's what the issue appears to be here, Rico. I'm with him, of course, with the sentiment. But if you told me, I was going to say, if you told me you have two scenarios. One is this guy's an asshole and it's kind of annoying.
Starting point is 01:02:40 And then he just gets off the plane. Or two, like somebody calls him out and stops him. And then it's a whole thing. Because in this story, the guy pulled into the next row and was like, you're right. the plane or two like somebody calls him out and stops him and then it's a whole thing because in this story the guy pulled into like the next row and was like you're right you guys can go and then rico was like no no no no it's too late you go ahead and it's like well now now you're causing a problem you know just as much as the other guy but also part of me would be like that's kind of cool you called him out so i don't know i don't know but it keeps happening and it's just like every we all fly together all the time,
Starting point is 01:03:07 but nothing's ever happened without a witness. I want a witness, Rico. I want a witness. Next time it happens, get somebody, even if it's a stranger, be like, you need to call my friends and tell me this happened. Don't let that happen. You saying bone to pick reminded me of something. I have a bone to pick with you.
Starting point is 01:03:22 Manscaping is something that as a – John, let me ask you a question. Where are you at on manscaping is something that as a... John, let me ask you a question. Where are you at on manscaping these days? I'm where I've always been, which is like, I don't need to do it that often. I'm kind of...
Starting point is 01:03:40 Where are you at on manscaping these days? What are the youths doing? What are the kids doing these days? I trimmed my chest a couple months ago. Yeah. Did you go too low? Yeah. So you could see like the prickly, like it was like stubble instead of hair.
Starting point is 01:04:02 That's why you got to get manscaped because they have uh all of the different equipment you need back in like when i was first growing up it was like you know you didn't have like buzzers and clippers at your house you had like you know blades with fucking shaving yeah so you were like either going all in or not and now manscaped has different devices like the lawnmower uh 3.0 4.0 and 5.0 there's the plus the pro and the ultra. They have three different ball trimmers. They have the nose trimmers, the ears trimmers. They have the clips that you can put on. So you can, you can basically give your, your whole body like a fade. If you wanted to, they have the skin safe, uh, protection
Starting point is 01:04:40 with the led spotlight. Uh, and so you can kind of, you can manscape without making it look like, you know, look at me, I shaved my chest, which is where you really got to be at this day and age. It's like, as I'm getting older, I'm like, listen, I don't know, whatever, man, but you can't let it get out of control. But you also don't want to be the guy who's like, look at me, I shaved my arms. I don't know, maybe somebody, this company does that arms i don't know maybe somebody this company does that i don't know um so that's why you got to get manscaped they got you covered every which way with all the traveling with all the trimmers they also come with a travel case uh and it uh everything from you know the back of your neck to your chest to your pubes they've got you covered go to uh manscaped.com right now manscaped with the ed
Starting point is 01:05:26 at the end manscaped.com use promo code kfc and get 20 off plus free shipping uh for the best your boys have ever looked trust manscaped at manscaped.com promo code kfc for 20 off plus free shipping the you said something on this podcast once not that long ago But a while ago That stuck with me Because it affected me And I It was It's just nice to know that I'm heard Even if you're mad at me
Starting point is 01:05:57 People are listening I was When I was sick I was in a hotel that didn't have I couldn't buy movies uh-huh and so i was but it did have youtube so i was just watching a lot of youtube and uh the conan hot ones had come out so i wanted to watch that and by the way i watched i watched the first two episodes of his show last night dude there's a scene when he goes to iceland that is it's it's i was really high but i was screaming laughing the funniest guy
Starting point is 01:06:27 he's so funny i have not watched yet but he is the best it's it's just it's about how he just goes up to a random uh no he's not in iceland he's in norway he's in norway and he goes this random norwegian guy he's like i hear the icelandic people are very short like kurt and he's like yeah and he's like what do you think about this outfit and it's conan's wearing his clothes and he goes maybe too old he's like he's like wait what he's like i think maybe you're trying you're too old for how you're dressed you were and then But you got to see it. Dude, Conan, before you finish your bone to pick, Conan is a guy who I'm very nervous that, like,
Starting point is 01:07:11 because he's really not out there as much as I believe he deserves to be, how funny he is. I think if you go around and ask, like, the younger generation, they would be like, I don't know anything about Conan. Meanwhile, I think he was, like, the funniest out of all of them yeah he got so boned by nbc like i bet people don't even know about the gleno and conan and getting having like leno just come back and take it from him and then getting fucked but when conan was at his peak oh my god that show i never really cared for any of those late night shows but conan's yeah remember when his hot ones is amazing
Starting point is 01:07:45 is it i'm sure i mean he's he's just one of the funniest guys ever but we don't also just like he's very interesting he's very yes like he actually said something in it he went to like harvard right or yeah yeah so he's very smart very funny but he's a bonehead sean evans asked him like if you had to create a uh curriculum for a comedy course what book would you have on it and he was like he's like read widely read everything he's like everything's funny yeah yeah yeah it actually kind of like had me be like
Starting point is 01:08:14 stop being a funny snob about stuff sometimes and just like well that's what I liked about him is like do you remember when they merged with whatever channel it was so we had the Walker Texas Ranger handle yeah yeah yeah they were just like we like our they merged with whatever channel it was? So we had the Walker Texas Ranger handle. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They were just like, our channels merged with USA. So we now have access to all of the Walker Texas Ranger clips we ever want. Pull the lever and they would just play a ridiculous clip.
Starting point is 01:08:36 And then even Triumph the Comic Dog, talking about for me to poop on. He's like, this is not brilliant, but it was always so fucking funny. He was like, the Old Testament is funny. The New Testament is funny. Chaucer is funny. Mad Magazine is funny it was always so fucking funny. And I don't think – The Old Testament is funny. The New Testament is funny. Chaucer is funny. Mad Magazine is funny. It's all fucking funny. All of it, yeah.
Starting point is 01:08:49 And then when I was sick, I actually – this is after what happened when I was like, oh, yeah, I got a blunt pick with Kevin. I started watching because they were – I put in full movie on YouTube and a lot of Adam Sandler movies popped up. And I started watching like Adam Sandler like Netflix movies. Dying laughing. Dying laughing. Dying laughing. Dude, I'd never seen The Do-Over. That movie's fucking hysterical. I watched Just Go With It with the one with Brooklyn Decker.
Starting point is 01:09:13 Hysterical. Again, it could have been swayed by my favorite dream. I was going to say, you were not being a movie snob. You're not being a funny snob in those moments. No. You let it rip. But wait, what's your bone to pick with me about this? But so after Conan's hot ones, YouTube just did the autoplay, and I watched a few Hot Ones.
Starting point is 01:09:29 But at some point, it might have been right after. It might have been later. Matt Damon's Hot Ones came on, and I watched that. He's great. I love Matt Damon. Huge Matt Damon fan. Huge Ben Affleck fan. Huge Good Will Hunting fan.
Starting point is 01:09:41 And in fact, I watched that on the flight over. And that reminded me of when i we somewhat there was a guest on the show because i was sitting next to you and the guests agree with you and was like yeah who where does it say that they stole good hunting uh i think it's just like an internet rumor yeah because i because then i was again i was sick so i like i was like oh yeah matt damon oh yeah didn't they steal Good Will London? What the fuck was that? So I looked it up. I think people just – You're telling me internet rumors weren't true?
Starting point is 01:10:10 I think the general theory for some reason is that the fact that they never did anything ever again. People are like, you guys wrote one script and won an Oscar. But that's such a bad argument. Like, they became movie stars. They became the biggest movie stars in the world.. Like, they became movie stars. They became the biggest movie stars in the world. Yeah, but they never wrote anything. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:10:30 They were busy being movie stars. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That is true. That is true. It's like, why would I write this show when I could be the leading man? I'm going to keep doing the leading man one where I make $30 million rather than fucking write the whole thing and make $30 grand. And I guess what this article says, there's some MIT guy who – Yeah, I read this article. There's an MIT guy who says –
Starting point is 01:10:44 He stole from him. He says, I one time said there should be a movie about a smart janitor. Like, you didn't write Good Will Hunting, dude. That's inventing the Facebook. Yeah. I read, though, because I went to research it. And it was this. This was like a Barstool article was the first thing that popped up.
Starting point is 01:11:03 And there really wasn't anything else after. There's like people are like well gus van zandt helped well yeah i'm sure the director helped with the script you probably that makes well speaking of conan there was and i'm sure i'm sure they i'm sure they got help but like that doesn't mean you didn't write the fucking movie yeah i mean listen uh sometimes the tinfoil hat you know sometimes like those like two of my favorite actors. You took that one to heart. And I was like, what the fuck?
Starting point is 01:11:28 They stole the fucking movie. Bro, it's so funny to think about how many other things maybe John's been took to heart that I was just absolutely babbling bullshit. Well, again, I don't know who our guest was. And they're like, yeah. And you guys are both so sure. I was like, fuck, I know they stole who our guest was, and they were like, yeah. You guys were both so sure. I was like, fuck. I didn't know they stole the movie.
Starting point is 01:11:47 That's crazy. That's fucking podcasting for you right there. All right, let's get into our voicemails. Before we do it, we want to get voicemails really re-fired up again. I talked to the guys over the break, and I was thinking about how in the beginning of KC Radio, the voicemails were really the focal point of the show, and that's what led to so many of the hypothetical discussions and answer the internet and kind of what our bread and butter was. And obviously through the years, we've gotten away from that,
Starting point is 01:12:16 and we just kind of throw on a couple of voicemails at the end. But even just doing the hypothetical bear and man in the woods, that's what this show really is all about. And I think podcasting was all about that. And I thought we lost our way. The whole industry, everybody becoming experts and philosophers. And I would love to get back to just funny stories and good hypotheticals and good banter and all that. So we're going to – I'm going to extend the challenge to the stoolies, to the listeners, uh, the chicken heads. If you, if you do a video voicemail video, uh,
Starting point is 01:12:52 the best one at the end of the month as voted on by the listeners gets a thousand bucks cash. So we will probably narrow it down to like final four or five or something like that. Um, and then we'll put it out to a vote on social media. And whoever the listeners think had the best voicemail of the month, I'll give you a thousand bucks. So bring the heat. Tell us your funniest story. Ask a good question.
Starting point is 01:13:18 Well, we don't want to, I don't want to just be like, tell him that one time we took your dick out at the party. But if it's a really good story or if it's a question that we think like think we'd be like, that would be good enough to be an answer to the internet. Or that's thought-provoking enough that it went viral or whatever it may be. So whether it is – if your question does go viral, then you're kind of in. If it's the most thought-provoking that we all agreed on, it's in.
Starting point is 01:13:41 If everybody agreed that it was the funniest, it's in. So whatever way you can do it, the best voicemail every month, I'll give you that cash. So send them in, and we'll try to get the best ones out there, and that can really... We'll start to do more than just three
Starting point is 01:13:57 at the end of every episode. We'll start to pepper them in throughout the whole thing so that the show really gets back to its roots of just being funny banter and bullshit and thought provoking questions. So let's get into what we got today. I forgot Dante text. Oh, real quick live reaction. Zach Wilson era.
Starting point is 01:14:15 Over. Done in New York. Traded to the Broncos. To the Broncos for six round pick. Doesn't even matter. Doesn't matter. Well, we'll see what happens. I mean, I do think Zach Wilson is not very good, unfortunately.
Starting point is 01:14:33 But if he can find – what's Sam Darnold doing these days? Just being a happy backup, right? Backup for the Niners. The Niners. Yeah. am Darnold doing these days? Just being like a happy backup, right? Backup for the Niners. The Niners. I just think there is something to be said if like these guys can go elsewhere and be like serviceable.
Starting point is 01:14:54 I don't know. I really am at the point as a football fan. I think it might be crazy to draft who what you believe has the most potential in the most important position and then throw them to the fire immediately.
Starting point is 01:15:14 Like even if maybe Zach Wilson was really talented, but like four years of no offensive line and getting fucking hammered on the field and getting murdered in the press off the field is like, well, now, even if he was good, you totally botched it. It's like every other job in the world, if you think about it, you get groomed and you go up a level. And I know sports were tempted to just be like, go.
Starting point is 01:15:35 But it's not basketball where it's just like, yo, do what you do on the court. There's so many things that matter. And if you're not a good franchise and none of those pieces are in place, you'd have to be the next like peyton manning tom brady to overcome the situation you put him in so what's the rush like let them get bigger let them learn let them do all that shit that they need to while not losing fucking 12 games a year and becoming the butt of everyone's joke and all that shit.
Starting point is 01:16:05 The more I watch it, it seems almost obviously then there's the exceptions to the rule though, or the guys who do step in and play good right away, but I feel like that's more likely than not you're going to get fucking rocked if you're not
Starting point is 01:16:24 truly that good. So anyway, best of luck, Zach from Dante. I said, call me back. I'm in the air. What's up?
Starting point is 01:16:31 I said, I never mind. What time do you land? He said, 45. That was 20 minutes ago. He said, are you trying to corner me on your show?
Starting point is 01:16:39 What's the issue now? I said, I'm trying to talk to you on the show. Yes. Call me when you land. He said, about what? The only time you want to talk to me is when you're trying to make fun of me i smell entrapment i said well i'm definitely trying to make fun of you yeah it's not a trap i'm trying to hear your
Starting point is 01:16:52 thought process on something um i don't want to know completely what he's coming in for but i do i guess i i want it's it's a genuine sociological experiment yeah i want to tell him tell him tell him we will we won't make fun of him we will just ask questions yeah i i will i promise i will only ask dante questions let's fire up those voicemails and we'll see maybe by the time we're done dante will sack up sitting here waiting for taylor's album and i've thought of something uh it was going to the eye doctor and they were like hey remote appointment you made a remote appointment what the fuck does that mean what is a remote eye doctor appointment i'm gonna go one two one what what how do we get the glasses
Starting point is 01:17:40 anyways what is one thing since COVID that you're like, no. We know the utensils and food, whatever. What the fuck is with the remote appointments? Anyways, thanks for getting me. I don't know. I hope my blanket's just laying on the floor somewhere, you
Starting point is 01:18:00 fuckers. I love Jackie. Oh. Blanket's been here the whole time? Yeah, it's on a couch. And also, if we're getting attitude, nah, this can't be the same girl. Someone did once tweet me that they were crocheting me a pair of shorts that I never got, so I hope my
Starting point is 01:18:15 fucking shorts are on the floor somewhere. You think we got multiple crocheters? Yeah, that'd be crazy. If we have multiple crocheters. In her defense, I think we lost track of the blanket for a little bit. Oh, did we? We found it. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:18:27 It's beautifully folded right there. I mean, in our world, the amount of people who still try to do remote interviews, it's like. Well, I actually, I thought of something on my travels because people kept talking about it. How long are we going to talk covid this is great i was gonna say that this is my thing almost still bringing up covid is my thing about covid it's like like like tour guys would mention it and i'm like like so you're doing good since like not even like feels good to be outside again doesn't it like i love hugging and touching right the net and but like so i i obviously understand the complaints about things like particularly doctors doctors have just really sold sold it's been like hey
Starting point is 01:19:18 by the way we were faked the whole time the whole time they exposed the fuck out of themselves but you don't even meet any of us anymore? I don't have to be in the room to get my physical? That seems crazy. I mean, I think it's crazy. Yeah, that's all. I need to look into my eyes and shit. But it's just everyone still, oh yeah, that changed the code. It's just the way the world is now.
Starting point is 01:19:39 Why are we still whining about it? There's just fucking deal with it. I don't even know. Like, everyone just complained this trip in particular i actually said it and like i never do that but like we're sitting down we're at a bar called the uh the greyhound in in kinsale unbelievable pub the the pubs i bet i mean that's every pub was on the the the standard for pubs over there. It's got to be. I mean, it was amazing.
Starting point is 01:20:06 But we're out there. We're out... Oh, actually, no. We're at the Tap in Kinsale. And they had a little beer garden in the back that had a well that they had found when they were making the beer garden that just had medieval bones in it. And they were just like... Medieval?
Starting point is 01:20:23 They just left the well open. Well, the bones aren't there anymore. Those are not real bones. Someone tried to show you bones from like the 1200s. Those are not real. There was like a news article next to it. By the way, does anyone know what Normans are? Normans?
Starting point is 01:20:41 This would be my bone to pick with Irish tours. They think we know a little more about Ireland than we do. They just kept being like, well, this is a Norman castle. I was like, who the fuck are the Normans? What is that, like the Rothschilds over here? Like a powerful family? No, it's basically the race of people the Vikings created.
Starting point is 01:21:04 The Normans? Yeah. It's a race of people? Yeah,? Like when they'd come and Vikings would be... The Normans? Yeah. It's a race of people? Yeah, I guess they were the early... I gotta brush up on my history. The early settlers
Starting point is 01:21:11 of that island. It's like... The Normans. N-O-R-M-A-N? Yeah. Wow. I ain't never heard of that. Dude, I've taken
Starting point is 01:21:18 a fucking Irish history course in high school. Now I only took that course because we knew at the end of it you get to have a Guinness. Literally the only reason
Starting point is 01:21:26 I took that class. That's great though. It's a great move by that professor. Your parents could sign a permission slip and you could have it. Bro, you took a whole
Starting point is 01:21:34 fucking semester of a class to have one beer. To have a beer. I had beers all the time. It's my senior year of high school. I had beers all the time. My class gives me beer it's awesome that's fucking
Starting point is 01:21:47 great but the uh why am i saying all this oh yeah but so some guy is sitting there talking about covid and and he said something i just went yeah we'll all get over it one day i guess and and he's like he didn't care that I clearly had attitude. It's just not an interesting thing to talk about. I was like, yeah, I don't know, man. It hasn't been. We got put in timeout for three months. That sucked.
Starting point is 01:22:12 Five years ago. Yeah, like it literally. I mean, it's called COVID-19. I know it was at the very end, so it was more like 20, but it's 19. It's the year 2024. We're still complaining about how we got put in timeout. It's also basically 25. Come on. This is basically almost 2024 We're still complaining About like how we got Put time out It's also basically 25 Come on It's basically
Starting point is 01:22:27 Almost 10 years ago It's insane That we're still talking about it Imagine you put One of your kids in time out For like a week And fucking three years later They're still like
Starting point is 01:22:36 Dad fucking put in time out That one time Shut up Yeah it wasn't great Fucking god damn Talk about someone else By the way While we're
Starting point is 01:22:44 If we're going to minimize. I don't mean this all doesn't mean to be. This is shitting on this girl. No, it's not. You're just like, fuck you. Wear my shorts. Fuck you and your voicemail. No, because she is like, it is like most of the complaints are accurate complaints.
Starting point is 01:22:57 Yes, the world changed from then and it does suck. But I don't know. Things suck all the time. You just got to deal with it. The, the, the, mine would be, it would be. Whoa. It would be Whoa How the Pray tell The The heroes Stopped bringing us utensils In our delivery
Starting point is 01:23:30 Oh The first responders Yeah Yeah The first responder delivery men Bro Every time I eat And I don't order out
Starting point is 01:23:37 All that often anymore But like I I'm wiping my face With the bag Afterwards And it's just like Throw in Bro I am wiping my face with the bag afterwards. And it's just like, throw in. I am with you, but that's ridiculous.
Starting point is 01:23:51 Really? Brown bag in your face? Yeah, every time. There's no napkins in the bag. But like you're in your house, right? I gotta get up. Yeah. My biggest complaint since COVID is I stopped getting up off the couch to get napkin.
Starting point is 01:24:11 There's probably paper towels from here to that fucking closer, I'd say. But you're just... I have this whole bag. It is. That was one of the most sly moves since COVID. They realized how much money they'd save. They didn't give us forks and fucking utensils well that that would my real actual complaint is the amount of like like i'm pretty sure they've proven that like 40 of the inflation was just corporations being like we're gonna jack our prices and call it inflation and they've like proven that and they've called out the
Starting point is 01:24:42 companies that have done it and they it's don't get it. It's all right. It's crazy. It's crazy. Every company right now is like, we just had the best year ever. Record profits. Yeah. Inflation sucks, guys. It's nuts.
Starting point is 01:24:55 And they got caught red-handed, and everyone was just like, nah, nah, don't worry about that. And we don't. What can you do? What can you do? You're just like, I'm going to buy the gas or buy the cereal or whatever the fuck. It's just, you can't stop it.
Starting point is 01:25:08 These guys are just like, you're going to do it so stop complaining. I'm okay. Yeah. Sounds good, bro. You pegged me. You guys took a risk
Starting point is 01:25:16 that I would mildly complain once or twice on a podcast and then I would shut up and keep living my life. And you're going to make billions of money. You nailed it. You fucking nailed it.
Starting point is 01:25:25 Got it. Great business minds. All right, next. KSC Fights Gang, I got a would you rather for you. Let's go. So would you rather live your life with your arms cut off at your elbows, but you still got hands where your elbows used to be, so you had nowhere to bend your arms or anything like that,
Starting point is 01:25:43 living like a little T-Rex. Basically, you've got to sit down to jerk off. You can't really lay down anymore unless you want to be bent over all the time. Or would you rather live life with just one arm so you can do everything normal, but you only have one arm? You can still lift weights and stuff like that,
Starting point is 01:25:58 jerk off normal, and you get to choose what journey you want. You can even find passes over there doing karate, doing yoga. I think this is a no-brainer. One arm. Yeah, one arm. You can't have – it's like quarterbacks.
Starting point is 01:26:12 If you have two, you have zero. If you have two hand stumps, you still have zero. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can't – I saw a guy in the airport actually. I forget where I was. But he had two stumps like that On his elbows
Starting point is 01:26:25 Yeah This is exactly I think they were more small arms Well that's the thing It's usually their Oh okay I thought you were going to say The hand is usually like
Starting point is 01:26:33 Also kind of like Yeah yeah yeah If you just have like A full functioning hand Yeah I mean it wasn't It's a claw It wasn't Yeah
Starting point is 01:26:40 It wasn't a great situation The guy had going No So he had two – Yeah. Two wreck trucks. And I remember just like – I remember I like stopped in the – he was – it was at O'Hare. And he was right in the middle of like the – he kind of walked through like a – almost like duty free when you get through security.
Starting point is 01:27:03 And he was like in the middle of the – and I like stopped and just like stared at him like just trying to figure it out okay he was one of those like i can't i was like my eyes like not working and it was like hey buddy are you a freak it was like okay i took a second like i'm just waking up like no no he didn't forget his arms those are them uh not being able to bend is tough too though not being able to need it do you remember remember getting mad at spaghetti arms what did you get mad at spaghetti arms i loved those things sorry you love what i just i just remember really liking the spaghetti spaghetti arms what are you doing yeah he was so mad at him for something that was like he was like
Starting point is 01:27:43 calling himself spaghetti arms oh he over i that was like He was like Calling himself spaghetti arms I think yeah I think he like Introduced himself as spaghetti arms And was like thinking it was cool The question from spaghetti arms Was would you rather have uncooked spaghetti arms As your arms or cooked spaghetti arms You either have like these like sticks
Starting point is 01:28:00 Or you have these wobbly things Fine question we did this years ago It was very am I the asshole-ish But yeah then he did something where i think he like tried to be like you know so i told this girl i was spaghetti arms from casey ray but whatever it was john was just going spaghetti arms what are you doing come on spaghetti arms come on i vaguely remember that yeah so you You were so fired up. I remember being like, whoa, John is fucking – and his spaghetti arms. I can't believe you know spaghetti arms.
Starting point is 01:28:29 Yeah, I remember. We forget that Jackie was like a listener, a little super fan. Yeah. Spaghetti arms. But, I mean, you know, this your whole life versus just – like, what arms – I feel like feel like bro i watched that guy on instagram play fucking i think d d like two hoops with one arm but yeah one arm is like what's tough is losing one arm if you're born with one arm i think you can live like entirely
Starting point is 01:28:58 unless somebody like throws two things to you at once you're fucked otherwise it's like you just completely adapt that's like i mean i've seen way more like da foreign people do way more shit some of these people on the internet who are like you know doing like have doing shit with their feet my mind is always just coming back to being like superficial and i can i can tell a story about i can make having a one-arm interesting. I can't. I can't. Nobody is like, yo, that guy with the hand stumps. But you can be like Jimmy.
Starting point is 01:29:33 You haven't threw a no-hitter with him. But then you know what happens, too? And I guess this would be an issue with even the one-arm, is some people on the internet, you'll see, they get a little too loose with their deformities. But they embrace them too much, I think. Because of their personality, kind of? No, it's just they start doing gross shit with it.
Starting point is 01:29:52 Like, I saw a guy doing, like, it was like he had, like, a stump arm and they were doing, like, ice luges off it. Yeah. People would drink out of their boots, you know? Not that one. No. You like that one? No, that one I like. I like that one.
Starting point is 01:30:04 I like taking part in. I like watching other like that one. I've taken part in. I like watching other people do that. I think that's funny. I don't really want to drink like the foot beer. I doubt my buddy. My, I mean, I will.
Starting point is 01:30:13 If you challenge me, if somebody hands you a boot of beer and you say, no, you're the biggest asshole in the world. It's like, this guy's got one fucking foot. You can't just drink a beer out of his, out of his toes.
Starting point is 01:30:23 But I, you know, I'd rather not. I got a buddy with one arm. I got a buddy with one leg. And they are the one leg. You do? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:30:34 I don't think I've met. Bro, the one leg, we used to party. And he'd dance for it. He'd have that thing up. And you're like, it was the cup. And that was a blast. That was fun. And my buddy went on.
Starting point is 01:30:45 At what age do you think that stops? Is he still doing that now? Like, are you at a wedding at the age of, like, 30? Being like, yeah. Probably not, but maybe a little bit. How did he lose his foot? I think he was just born without it. Got it.
Starting point is 01:30:58 I think both were just born without it. The guy with the arm I got arrested with, he's the one who took it and really scared the cops. What the fuck is this? And he... Trying to handcuff him? Can't do it. What did they do in that situation? Do you like handcuff
Starting point is 01:31:16 a guy to their waist or something like that? To their belt? So we got arrested. Me and my buddy were already in the back of the car. Me and one friend and the we just hear we were arrested by a woman cop and we were in the back and we're like like our life's over like this is our second we're gonna get caught from this so we're gonna get kicked out of high school and like we're fucked like this is all we're fucked because our senior
Starting point is 01:31:42 year he'd already gotten to college and i hadn't um he's like i'm not going to school blah and then we just hear what the fuck is this and we're like oh shit adam had some in his pocket or something i guess and and we just hear him go uh my arm and we start laughing like dude we're in the back seat likeseat. Like, a cartoon car looks like people are fucking in it. Like, we're just bouncing. Like, ah! And then she's like, shut up back there. And we just hear, like, a guy, like, a long pause.
Starting point is 01:32:14 And she's trying to figure out if she's going to be angry. She goes, what the fuck do I do with it? She had the same question you did. And he just goes, I guess you treat her like any other. So she jumped in and cuffed them both together. And then the second he gets in the back seat, he just popped it off. Oh, yeah, the fake one. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:32:37 I mean. Just like locked it on. He's like, okay. Yeah, that's got to be, like, that's like that's not you know day one of the police academy book i don't think they go over i don't think they go over one-armed guys um but yeah it's one it's it's you know it's it's we we make fun of my friend a little bit but he's about as normal as he can possibly you make way more fun of a guy with elbow hands. Yeah. Like, hey, elbow hands. No, no. And that's another reason I'd want the one arm.
Starting point is 01:33:07 Because I would not, I don't think. And again, it's hard to say. If one of your close buddies had elbow hands, you would for sure make fun of them. I don't know if I'd ever become close buddies with a man with elbow hands. And this is my point right here, right? Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:33:23 One arm is just like, you're just missing something. Elbow hands, you are a deformed freak. You are a freak. One arm, you put on a jacket, whatever. You have maybe a little hand sticking out. You're fine. Somebody takes their jacket off and they have jazz hands. You're a freak.
Starting point is 01:33:42 You're from the carnival. You have no option But to join the circus Like Like right now Like if Like I have no I have no problem
Starting point is 01:33:50 I have no problem Sitting here being like Talking about my friend With one leg And my friend with one arm And if At any point you guys are like Don't you have a buddy too
Starting point is 01:34:00 With like He's got like Weird half arms I'd be like He's more of an acquaintance just a friend of a friend i don't really know that guy all that well like it wouldn't i don't know because you know it's like you can you can shake his hand even if he's lefty you kind of do this you don't know what to do with elbow hands yeah we work together a few times
Starting point is 01:34:21 you know even like this guy like right away he's like you know you would have to bend over to jerk off like oh you start thinking about all these things for elbow hands and it's like that's yeah you're a freak yeah i don't want and it's not the cool stuff where you're like tell me how you do it it's like i don't i don't want to picture that i don't want nobody that all right let's next the last one speaking of t-rex you know i read the other day that we are closer in time to the tyrannosaurus rex than the t-rex was to the stegosaurus crazy that's wild that is crazy but yeah because those things spanned like tens of millions of years yeah so that also could just be totally made up. Sure could be. What do you think about this Caitlin Clark stat? I think this is made up.
Starting point is 01:35:06 Caitlin Clark outsold the Dallas Cowboys. Saw that. I don't think that's true. I think there's one dude who put up a tweet that said it. Dick Weiss. That's it. And then a couple blogs ran with that. Micah Parsons is number one and Dak Prescott's number five.
Starting point is 01:35:22 So they have two of the top five jerseys. Yeah, that's tough. It's just not true. But Kaitlin Clark's in that zone where you could say anything. All of these stats, the ratings, the numbers. I did see that stat and I just went, whoa, uncharitable my day. But when you think about it, it's like...
Starting point is 01:35:35 That's to what you're saying. It's like that Tyson zone. It's believable. I was like, oh shit, that's crazy. But yeah, I guess when I do some critical thinking about it, it doesn't really make a ton of sense. It just believable. I was like, oh, shit, that's crazy. Yeah. But, like, yeah, I guess when I do some critical thinking about it, it doesn't really make a ton of sense. It just can't. It's like –
Starting point is 01:35:49 I was going to say that, like, the Cowboys don't have a ton of new guys. So, like, maybe it's one of those. But, like, just like Dak and Prescott and Michael are, like, alone. Yeah. But they have a one and a five. Yeah. And everyone who's buying football. Yeah, because, honestly, it's funny you say that.
Starting point is 01:36:05 It's not like people are buying. Most teams probably have three guys that you would wear their jerseys. You're not wearing fucking linemen's jerseys and shit. So having two of the top fives is a very big deal. It just can't be. Maybe. I don't know. If Darren Rebell doesn't tweet that, it's not true.
Starting point is 01:36:23 That's such a fucking Darren Rebell thing. He would probably jerk off to that um all right last one yo boys anyway stop you know it's another good one of those it's like uh we are closer to cleopatra than she was to like the pyramids being built. Yes. So in Egypt, in the Egyptian civilization, she still was so far away from the pyramids. Right. That's crazy.
Starting point is 01:36:55 She was like... The fact that Cleopatra was like, the pyramids are fucking old is nuts. I absolutely think of her just running around the pyramids. Yeah. Like living in them, going out to the hangout and stuff. Another one I read. An entire basketball court fits in the penalty box of a soccer field. No.
Starting point is 01:37:17 Jackie says no. The penalty box is 194 feet? Yeah. I was. I just read it. Pat, let's get Google on. One more time? Basketball court dimensions.
Starting point is 01:37:30 No, no, no. Because we're going to need to look up. Do basketball court fits in a penalty box? Basketball court fits in soccer penalty box. Pentally box. Yes. What? Basketball With room to spare
Starting point is 01:37:50 105 meters Oh no That's the Okay yeah yeah That's the That's the whole field So it's like That's like a football field
Starting point is 01:37:59 What? I was It's funny you say this Because Keegan's That's crazy It's not just say this because Keegan's – That's crazy. It's not just summer. You can only fit two in it. Wait, you can fit like 20 in there.
Starting point is 01:38:13 The orange part is a basketball court? Yeah. You can fit one, two – you can fit like 10 basketball courts in there. Well, but the penalty box we're talking about. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. But, of course, across the whole field you could fit yeah a ton i i was just on a full soccer field for the first time because keegan's uh flag football team plays they like they break it up and there was like 20 flag football games i
Starting point is 01:38:37 mean now flag football's tiny whatever but still i was like this is one soccer field yeah that and that's i mean that's why those motherfuckers run so much. That's crazy. Okay. Send us any. Those are good, too. Any more of those. Those are also fun ones to make up.
Starting point is 01:38:57 You slot a couple fake ones in there and people run with them. And it's like, yep. Oh, actually. Sorry. like yep oh actually this just reminded me of um kind of like like the 9-11 thing from the fun facts the so one thing i learned when i was over in ireland was that because of brexit a lot of major corporations have to move to dublin because they need a headquarters in the European Union, and that's the most logical place to go from London to Dublin. English-speaking is right there, blah, blah, blah.
Starting point is 01:39:33 So when Netflixes and Hulus and Primes and all that came over, one of the stipulations from the Irish government was, in order to be here, 25% of the work has to be done here be it editing production filming whatever 25 of your shit has to be done here and our tour guide told us that and was like, I had like a butterfly effect moment. Because now they're calling it the Irish takeover of Hollywood. And I was like, that all came from that? Brexit is the reason that fucking Barry Keoghan's a monster. And now, obviously, I'm taking some liberties with that. I'm sure it helps.
Starting point is 01:40:21 I think in the Irishish takeover it's kelly murphy colin farrell barry barry keoghan paul mescal andrew scott the first two were well on their way yeah i think the other three probably got a substantial amount of help in the last seven years yeah hey what was it six seven years ago really that it was old office jackie why don't you do jacked up brexit don't you tell the people it was i mean riggs went and covered it because he was a political guy so it's like how he got the job right no he was already living in new york and shit like that he but he went overseas there was something that he just went to overseas before working here i thought
Starting point is 01:40:59 to be like no he already worked here for brexit when he had like he had like the red and white stripe thing on that was a big video but he for sure he worked here yeah um but i was like damn that's crazy that like yeah those brexit is the reason is at least you know certainly helped barry keoghan and fucking paul mescal is the best thing that ever happened it's like covid still has effects can i say something because like i would have liked to come back with like mexican fun facts i was gonna say where was your gifts by the way i actually actively thought about this and then i was like even worse so you thought about it i considered it and decided not to yeah well i was like they're not gonna ask for gifts and that's crazy you just did but um i was like that's okay anyways fun facts well so i just with history museums
Starting point is 01:41:53 like i mean i understand like some people are history museums some people are like art museum people i just don't get history museums in general because like all of them they start there's like this history museum fatigue where it's like it all starts every single history museum starts with like here's all the pots the clay pots that we created right and then it like then it shows all the clay pots and then it shows that for like five more like rooms and it's it's like we get it you guys make clay pots if i had nothing to do if we had no technology i would make clay pots all day too right okay and then it like goes on like maybe like loincloths next and it shows all the loincloths and then it's like okay also like
Starting point is 01:42:34 yeah i get it like that's what i'd be wearing if so so then it's just like clay pot after clay pot after clay pot and it's like that's how every single art history museum or art museums or history museum starts right and it's like the economy was based on like clay pots and animal hide and like whatever it's like yeah we get that every single history museum starts off of that so then and then i'm seeing like all these people be like oh my god that's so cool but yeah i assume that we know this so i don't understand why history museums are starting with all these clay pots all the time just like get rid of the clay pots we get it you have to come in with an understanding to these history museums that we made clay pots for a period of time i don't i don't get it i don't
Starting point is 01:43:17 understand why everyone feels the need to like right that might be the most specific yeah that's are you not with me on this I'm with you I don't go to enough history I like an art museum I think that
Starting point is 01:43:32 they're probably that's the only time I can actually picture myself in the thing like with history it's just like okay
Starting point is 01:43:37 because then also like at the start of the museum sorry can I just no go ahead at the start of the museum is when you have
Starting point is 01:43:43 the most energy so you're gonna read everything at the start right so that i read all about these clay pots and i was like more clay pots i guess and so i'm reading all about these clay pots and then by the time i got to the actual good stuff like once i actually started like making technology stuff that wasn't fucking clay pots yeah then i'm like i'm tired and like i don't feel like whatever so i didn't learn anything i i i think i'm not well up on my clay pot exhibits, but I bet there's probably some some like civilizations that are like old as fuck. And it's like these are the people who like they made the first pots.
Starting point is 01:44:18 They were the first people to put like food into a thing. Yeah. And like I could find some interest in that it's like you know 20 000 years ago some caveman put it in a pot but i would agree with you i don't need to see more and more of the pots i need to see two pots max i would uh what you wanted two pots how many that you saw upwards of 200 200 pots is too many pots now i i would give my advice would be probably more than 200 pots that's that's too many were you like in like a a herd of people that you couldn't just like go wherever you wanted though well everyone was like everyone was reading everything about the clay pots so i was kind of
Starting point is 01:44:56 like sheep in the you know we're like following people being like i guess like maybe there was cooler information about these clay pots it never never was. They were just like, yeah. Then they started like maybe evolving their pots. Like then they had designs on the pots. Yeah. I don't know. Like that's not – sorry, what were you going to say? I would say I feel like because we're introduced to museums at a young age, it's like a field trip and you go and you spend the day at it.
Starting point is 01:45:20 And I don't think that's the way to do a museum. I think you go and you look at the exhibits and you go i'm interested in that one and you just go to that for an hour and then that's it you don't spend the whole day there agreed with that well i think you just have to go into all history museums understanding that there was a period where we make like and like maybe like some spears and like sure we like some loincloths loincloths yeah what was there something that you saw that you were like wow they made they made xyz no well like there was one clay pot that was really cool
Starting point is 01:45:59 and they had like a lot of yeah it was these pretty cool loincloths and uh they had this dope spear but like other than that i was like i'm not impressed until i haven't been to a museum art or history don't waste your time no i it's funny that you say you're either a history or art i never even like thought of that is that is that a thing is that like a distinction i wouldn't think so but i guess maybe i feel like i know people who they're like wow like that's so old and i'm like i can see that you are like picturing how old that is but i can't the only time i can actually picture myself in the time period is if i'm seeing like art version of it where it's like i feel like people what is a history museum they still have like i guess oh
Starting point is 01:46:42 okay it's not art but it's like it's like a thing they found yeah a real thing yeah okay because you're still still the same process really like you're just looking at yeah i think i'm a history guy yeah d i i did i did history fucking roll your eyes i looked down at you like oh are you interested in clay pots oh my god don't show me clay pots okay sorry i went to the book of kells when i was in dublin and uh that one i don't show me a clay pot okay sorry i went to the book of kells when i was in dublin and uh that one i don't recommend that was like that was one or i i i googled it before because i was like i don't really know what this is and i kind of got a gist of it where it's essentially it's like what brought catholicism to ireland which the way, in the latest census is only 60% Catholic and almost all non-practicing, which is like once you've lost the Irish, you kind of lost everybody.
Starting point is 01:47:36 They got to throw the playbook out and start over. The whole fucking thing. Let everybody have sex. Let the gays in. Let women be priests. Because if you lost the Irish, you lost everybody. But it's this medieval book that they don't really know. The Normans had a lot to do with it.
Starting point is 01:47:55 And so they bring you into this. And I was like, all right, well, I got the gist. I'll learn about the rest on the tour. And then it's like no one really knows the answer to what it is. Or at least the tour guide didn't tell us. And then was like i actually was like this might be like i'm like 40 minutes into this tour i'm like this might be a dumb question what is it and he's like well it's a piece of art and it's work of art and it's it's like sorry all the all the print like the the dimensions on it like they're so perfect it looks like it was all done computerized and all this stuff.
Starting point is 01:48:26 And I was like, oh, that's cool. Can we see it? Nah. No, you can't see it. I was like, well, what are you doing? But on that tour, they were like, there's a rock over there. That rock's 6,000 years old. And that actually was kind of cool.
Starting point is 01:48:38 Every rock you touch, you're like, this is probably old. I know this one is from. Yeah. Yeah, it's kind of sick. It's like me and my blarney rocket um i i saw this thing these uh these scientists poured cement down an ant hole so that it it cemented their colony it's fucked up oh i think they were like it was like gone whatever ants are mad smart they had like families and shit. They had like, they had like rooms.
Starting point is 01:49:07 They had like, these ants live here and these ants live here and they had a tunnel with these like little balls that they like, like it was like a little, a big tube
Starting point is 01:49:14 and then like a little tube and then like a ball that they like live in and shit and they had, they had like, like ants had like rolls, like you do this and I do that.
Starting point is 01:49:23 It's like ants are like people. Ant colony, baby Think about that though. They're so fucking small You like like like if you're gonna live here you got to go yeah, yeah You got to go dig like this up for the Queen though if you're gonna live in this yes That's crazy crazy Anyway, that concludes our education portion of the show today 420 just passed john did you get a little uh stony baloney oh yeah did you uh 420 um i might
Starting point is 01:49:56 have been sick if not but whatever in that hotel room yeah i'm excited to try out these new cans right here. These guys have what they call social tonics. It's a new seltzer that is infused with THC. So you get your weed and your seltzer. And I can already tell you right now that the can, cans, cans, are fire. Feel that. It's got that, like, matte feel to it, you know? And it's got the 5-milligram CHC, 10-milligram CBD. It's got that, like, that matte feel to it, you know?
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Starting point is 01:50:34 That's for you. Yeah, this is your planned conversation through your head. I was gonna say, you can take, have a couple cans and start planning your combos.
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Starting point is 01:51:11 man that is dangerous it just tastes like straight up like a lemon seltzer yeah like if i if you just had like a seltzer with lemon in it, like that's it. There's no bite to it. There's no like, you know, weird aftertaste to it. And you can just get your buzz on. This should be like, you could easily just sip this and be like, oh, this is just a, this is like a regular drink. You got to be careful with your cans.
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Starting point is 01:51:57 a free roadie 6-pack sampler with all the different flavors. Can is not for use or purchased by persons under the age of 21. Can products contain less than 0.3 delta 0.3 delta 9 thc that is derived from hemp do not claim to diagnose treat cure or prevent any diseases and have not been evaluated or approved by the fda yo boys jackie sup so me and my boys do a daily dozen every day and like have a group chat send each other our boards make fun of each other all that stuff and like i'm just like the car make and model guy like the car category is my shit i get it right pretty much 100 of the time so jokingly i was just like you know send
Starting point is 01:52:35 me a picture of any car headlight and i'm gonna tell you to make a model and dude i hit this shit like a 90 clip to the point where like my buddies in the home and we're just taking pictures of cars in their neighborhood and i was just like hyundai sonata man i'm just going ripping through all this right and to the point where now like when i'm walking around though or i'm driving all i see is just like when i see a car when normal people see a car it's just like yeah it's a car but i normal people see a car, it's just like, yeah, it's a car. But I'm like, I'm like that Zach Galifianakis gift with like all the math and all that shit.
Starting point is 01:53:09 I just see make and model. I got to know it. I got to get better every day. And like, I guess my question is like, when, when you guys realize you have like autism, like have all this useless knowledge.
Starting point is 01:53:23 That's such a super niche category. I'm just like a reverse image search for Kia Cerando headlights at this point. I don't have that because when I do, it doesn't. I don't have a niche. I don't have one of those things. I don't really, but I think I'm good at... I think if you show me a still
Starting point is 01:53:47 Like a show or a movie I can probably tell you what it's from Which I guess is kind of like this Yeah Are you guys still good? Yeah We play tonight at 10 o'clock Which is gonna be
Starting point is 01:53:56 10 p.m.? Which is like 3 a.m. My time now We're playing Minahan tonight He's on a five-game losing streak. They're not fun to play against. No, but I told him, like, you're going to get right against us. We lose by 10 every match.
Starting point is 01:54:13 But if, like, he loses to us, he's going to have a fucking. And as I understand it, he puts up, like, 10 points a game. Yeah. And it's just, like, Rico fucking up. So I'm just praying we have like some type of a good performance but we don't ever but but the point being because like i i know very little i don't know enough about anything to be good as it doesn't but i definitely don't have like a niche that i could be like this is what we're doing i i think it's cool what he said like
Starting point is 01:54:42 where like now his brain works that way i think it's cool what he said, like, where, like, now his brain works that way. I think it's weird how, like, how your brain, almost like a river, like, bends in new ways. And, and,
Starting point is 01:54:54 like, I think we've done that our whole careers where it's like, oh, now my brain works like this. Now my brain works like that. Yeah,
Starting point is 01:54:59 this new thing that I just have to focus on and then you know about until. How do I make that a t-shirt? How do I make that a blog? How do I make that a sketch? How do I make that a podcast segment? And like it is it's weird that like once you're in it
Starting point is 01:55:10 you're just like okay that's how my brain is working right now. That's it. Yes. Yes. Totally. But the speaking of brains I saw a tweet the other day that was kind of like a whoa like it was like told my friend about how I have to plan all my conversations
Starting point is 01:55:28 and she was like stunned right or something like that like that's how introverts work and i was like i plan like every conversation like that i don't think that's that's what i'm trying to figure out is that no an introvert thing I don't do that You don't plan Like No Do you plan I actively try to avoid Not planning Cause then it It doesn't go
Starting point is 01:55:49 Like I can't stick to Like a script Like But like it's not Like I don't But the thing is Like when I read it Like I don't plan
Starting point is 01:55:55 Conversations It's just That's what my brain Does with idle time I have conversations With yourself Yeah Like with other people You're imagining Yeah So like Other people will have a role I have conversations. With yourself? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:56:06 Like with other people? Yeah. So like other people will have a role. Like I'll be like, oh, that like – again, I'm not actively doing it. It's just like – I thought the planned conversations thing was like I'm nervous to go talk to someone. So you say to yourself, I'm going to say, what do you do for a living? And then I'm going to say this and then I'm going to say that so that like i have a good conversation with but i'm not i guess my mind is i'm not even planning it i'm just having it like i'm not fake conversations in your head with other people
Starting point is 01:56:33 yeah that's not that's crazy that's really weird who are you talking to like anybody like probably have a conversation with me without me in your in your head? All the time. About what? Anything. Well, how do you know what I'm going to say? I make up what you're going to say. What if I don't like what you're saying? What if I don't like what I'm saying in your head? I don't know.
Starting point is 01:56:54 Are you like, Kevin was being so funny the other day? I mean, I better be killing it in these conversations. You're probably running around being like, yeah, I kind of like Kevin. Do they ever say anything offensive where you get mad at them yeah no no no you actually said the you would not believe
Starting point is 01:57:09 what Jackie said in my head the other day no I think because they're it's mostly me they're always great everyone in my head every conversation I have
Starting point is 01:57:18 is they're fucking smoked it it's an awesome conversation I don't think that's what people mean when they say plan the conversations bro yeah
Starting point is 01:57:24 I think it's much more about like nervousness. So it's like I can't just go up to that person and talk to them and we see where it goes. I'm like, here's the questions I'm going to ask. If they ask me these questions, here's how I'm going to respond so that I like do good in the conversation. Yeah. That's something I would have kept to myself probably. But I'm not doing. I'm not like sitting.
Starting point is 01:57:42 I'm not nervous about it. It's almost like I'm so excited to talk about something that I want not nervous about it it's almost like I'm so excited to talk about something that I want to talk about it you've already done it yeah so like basically I'll have
Starting point is 01:57:51 if I learn a fact or okay hear about a movie or anything like that I will I have a friend who
Starting point is 01:58:00 that how do you pick who the friend is? just like whoever like would be most interested in that. I talk to them about it. So you'll be like...
Starting point is 01:58:08 You'll be like... Tonight you might go home and be like... In my head, hey, Pat, did you hear about Caitlin Clark? She sold more jerseys than they... And you just have that... You are so red right now. This is the ultimate when you admit something on a podcast thinking that everyone else does it too. I have never heard this in my life.
Starting point is 01:58:28 When I saw that tweet, I was like, that's what everyone does, you fucking idiot. And no, huh? What they are talking about, a lot of people do. What you were talking about is not what they're talking about. But it just happens. I don't have any – it just happens. I'm not like I'm going to sit down and we're going gonna talk about this like i'll learn about it and my head will just go oh kevin would think that's cool and then we talk about it that that part up until that part
Starting point is 01:58:52 makes sense then doing it yeah so wait are there times where you'll have this conversation with me in your head and then we sit down to do the podcast and then what if it's different it's very different every time every time so then so then do you finish the podcast and go wow kevin in my head really disagreed with kevin in real life uh i know i don't really think back on it ever but like but usually like we've had usually i've done the podcast before we do the podcast like i'll if i like it's i i'm not doing it it just happens i'm it's just happening it's a thing that's happening to me so this is i'm not like let's do this it's just happening to me so this is your version of that that this went viral like a week ago because it
Starting point is 01:59:38 always does this is your version of an internal monologue yes you what What you do, it's not an internal monologue. It's an internal dialogue. 100%. Interesting. I don't like myself that much. I don't like it. Internal monologue? I don't get the people who say they don't have an internal monologue.
Starting point is 01:59:55 Unless we are talking about different things where it's like, I don't sit in my head and make up conversations like this fucking lunatic. But my version of an internal monologue means i'm just like thinking about stuff there are people who just sit there i think you're probably one of them you just sit there and like nothing's going on your brain you're just like i can i can be pretty yeah but when i'm on i'm just doing this like i'm doing that you're performing no wonder why you're off you're off because you just came off of a fucking show you just did a whole ass performance makes sense because like if you look at you Like just sitting in a room
Starting point is 02:00:25 Like he just Starts giggling to himself Which is That makes so much more sense Yeah yeah He'll definitely be like a Like what's so funny He's like this thing in my head
Starting point is 02:00:35 I was just thinking about this thing Yeah Because it's like One of your friends Just like dropped a One of you guys You guys were This is something great
Starting point is 02:00:40 We were killing We were killing That's hilarious That's really weird We were killing. We were killing. That's hilarious. That's really weird. This is why I want to get the voicemails back. Because this guy, just knowing headlights, turned into that. That's crazy.
Starting point is 02:00:58 I kind of like the guy. I count FedEx trucks. Every time one goes by. I always have a count every day of FedEx trucks. How many in a day do you see? Yesterday, I saw four. Because I drove to church it has to be like when I'm in a car. But like on an average like road trip, it's like 64. Like I always like, it's like a weird, like if I see a FedEx truck, like I have to, it's like a weird like comfort thing. 64, that's a lot of fucking FedEx trucks.
Starting point is 02:01:25 They're out there doing the damn thing yeah that's weird do you do any weird shit this happened with fonts in college when I was just like really into graphic design so like I just couldn't
Starting point is 02:01:33 look at a font without being like Garamond you know or something like that but uh recently it's movies have became
Starting point is 02:01:39 impossible for me to watch because I just think of every shot I can't watch movies anymore without like enjoy them at least i i'm i'm yeah it's the same thing like i almost like over analyze and we're like it's so silly talking about it because we're such novices but like it is like i'll be like oh they must have
Starting point is 02:01:59 said that so this is gonna happen yeah that was a line for this. Set that up later. Yeah. Yeah. Um, but the, uh, yeah, I guess, uh, you're all fucking crazy. I don't know.
Starting point is 02:02:12 Yeah. There you win. You win. That can't be that abnormal. No, I was going to say the other thing is while we're all laughing at you, this will probably go out and I bet you like 25% of the population is going to be you guys are the fucking weirdos yeah and i i want to i'm not trying to do it it's just what my it's just what i do it's just how i it's what i think now i'm just picturing you having this
Starting point is 02:02:35 conversation but like we're all like oh my god you reacted very differently. You want to sound that last night in my head? All right. I would say like it's a very low percentage of the time I go into a conversation and it's my first time having that conversation. That's so fucking funny. All right. So go to all of the social media, any of the social media channels where there's any sort of bio or link. There is a Google Docs. No, a Google sheet. Whatever.
Starting point is 02:03:16 There's a way to submit a video through Google. Right. Yep. And that's where you can put in voicemails to win the $1,000 prize. And I guess there also has to be some sort of caveats. Kia Sonata guy, that wasn't a great voice note, but it led to a great moment. So I don't know.
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