KFC Radio - We Go Through Jackie's Notes App - Full Episode

Episode Date: July 24, 2025

Timecodes: 0:00 Start 01:02 Podcast clip camera angles 06:00 Show restart 07:09 Jackie's therapist listens to the show? 11:12 Time's 100 most influential podcasts list 14:25 How Jackie's brain works 21:04 British people are pranking us 24:00 Moment of silence segment (RIP Ozzy) 30:14 Who comes up with the "feels like" temperature 34:03 What brand comes to mind when you say "advertisement"? 39:00 How would you go about being homeless? 48:30 Labubus 51:30 Freudian Slip 53:00 ChatGPT for advice 59:30- H*rny on planes 1:04:00 Credit card magnet 1:08:35 NY needs a new nickname 1:17:52 Football coach face 1:18:00 How did knights handle the heat? 1:23:14 What job would you be worst at? 1:30:45 Joey Chestnut Barstool After Dark +++++++++++++++++++++++++++ +++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Kraken: Go to https://kraken.com/barstool to learn more PHX: Get PHX and fuel your hustle the complete way. Shop on https://drinkphx.com. Reef: Go to https://REEF.com/KFCRADIO and use promo code KFCRADIO15 to get 15% off your first order over $49 Jackpocket: GAMBLING PROBLEM? CALL 1-800-GAMBLER, Call 877-8-HOPENY/text HOPENY (467369) (NY). 18+ (19+ in NE, 21+ in AZ). Physically present where Jackpocket operates. Jackpocket is a lottery courier and not affiliated with any State Lottery. Eligibility restrictions apply. Void where prohibited. 1 per new customer. Opt-in for $5 in non-withdrawable Lottery Credits that expire in 7 days (168 hours). Ends 8/31/25 at 11:59PM ET. Terms: jkpt.co/draw5. Scratchers subject to availability. Based on 2025 iOS download data collected by Sensor Tower. Sponsored by Jackpocket. Netflix: Go to your Happy Place on July 25 with Happy Gilmore 2, only on NetflixYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey KFC radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC radio on Apple podcast, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. Do you think that loss made everyone f***ing complains? Like I... I... Somebody else is going to have to start talking on this episode. No way! No way! Music Um, should we discuss anything before? Like, should we talk? Do we have anything to talk about? Any maintenance? Anything to get out of the way?

I just meant, I don't really have any full topics. I was just thinking like I have my do you have anything? Obviously getting cut That's right. I was forget you're in charge of it. Well, actually today Steve's gonna be doing the edit So I'm I think I'm extra nervous today cuz I'm like everything has to stay in it's your it's out of your control It's out of my control now. It's out of my control now? No, no, no, no, no. Wait, I actually do have a question before we get going. Who posted on Instagram...

You posted it? This? Perfect. Perfect. Well done. I don't know what has happened in this world Yeah Where every fucking video of every person is them on the couch with just their fucking shorts pulled up so tight Yeah, and you can see like cheeks and dick and balls

But it doesn't look normal at all like it looks like if someone's getting like strangled with saran wrap and their faces like twisted Like that. Yeah, like why is all these lumps all in these weird places? Like I feel like the yak it happens. There's like just every time I'm scrolling a clip. Mm-hmm I'm just like why is the zoom in it's not a zoom but like all The eyes right there. Yeah, right. I think that that's like Standard well, that's the whole point of man spraying. That's why we're always like don't manspray No, but like I agreed that was also a very funny time when that was like the biggest issue in America Was that the people who are bigger sit bigger?

Just like that was for a time the number one topic in America was like, do you know how men sit on the subway in New York? The only good guys with like a dick and balls and they kind of keep it Is it like a Does it feel more comfortable does it give it more room like breathing room? Yes This is comfortable obviously man's predi is comfortable, but this uncomfortable very uncomfortable very uncomfortable Yeah, not like like I'm not like one of those people who's like I'll refuse to you know someone sitting down I sit down, but like it's like but if I'm just sitting there if there's no one sitting next to me Yeah, it's more comfortable to spread out a little bit

Can you pop a ball can I pop a ball like like like like is it like you squeeze it? No, no, no like sorry. Can you I I guess no I'm kind of like worried like whatever um just if you like sit wrong is it can you like deflate it uh I would imagine so yeah I don't I honestly don't know I'm not gonna pretend it's something I've ever feared but I would guess it can happen okay okay so I'm like you can put you can certainly gusher it for sure. Like a grape. Okay.

Right? Wait, so, but why would Pat have to do a good job? You put the text over it? Because there's just, there's text in front of it. Because like that's where your eyes go. And it's just, it's just, it's all, first of all, everyone on the internet's obese. So it's just like a bunch of obese grundles

as you scroll TikTok or Instagram, whatever you're scrolling. Love the word grundles as you scroll tick tock or Instagram whatever you're scrolling Like I'd like to just have my attention focused elsewhere, but the camera angle is fucking right there I'm looking at everyone's nuts and I'm sick of it I'm trying to I'm realizing like my Botox that she like blasted my forehead. I'm trying to like kind of frown right now I can't do shit. I seriously can't move. This is the most ever. Nothing's moving my face.

No. It's really crazy. It's just a really crazy feeling. Anyway, so if you, like I'm trying to frown at the idea of you like looking at people's nuts, but I can't. Okay, but just so you know, frowns happen in the face.

In the mouth. Frowns? Oh, no, it's like a, it's like a, well I can't show you. You're trying to furrow your brow. Furrow my brow, oh I'm sorry. in the face in the mouth frowns oh no it's like a it's like a like you try to throw your brow throw my brow sorry I got excellent control of all the muscles of my face frown yeah you well you kind of sit with a blubber fish with a blubber fish frown. Like that thing in the back. That's exactly what it looked like. It's awful.

Instead of resting bitch face, it's resting blubber face. What is that sea creature doing here at the bar? It's really crazy how much he looked like that. We have a guest in here today, Joe. Joe's sitting in. We're very happy to have him. Joseph. Joseph, what... Can I ask you a question? What do you want to get out of this experience of sitting in?

Of sitting in? Yes. I just want to see how you guys operate. I sit in with chicks in the office every time, so I just want to see what y'all's flow is like. OK. OK, well, how about it? I just want to make sure we get it done.

OK. We're going to get that done. Let's just get ahead of the way that we three operate. It's not like you're going to be uncomfortable. You're going to be like, well, there's going to be a lot of awkward silences. And be like, all right, what else? This is like watching a how-to, but the opposite video.

Yeah. And normally, I'm there to cut it up, and I make it as seamless as possible I I don't know what Steve's style is gonna be but like I would imagine he probably will just You might just leave it. I like to make it look nice. I don't know how Steve's You know, I don't want people being like, oh wow Jackie's super unprepared knowing how like unprepared I am so I you know make myself look as good as possible, I would imagine you're going to have a more raw version, and sorry.

Sorry. Before we get started here, because we haven't started yet, why don't you do me a favor? Take ten deep breaths. I've never seen your shoulders this high in my life. I know. Seriously, the thought of not being able to touch this is like freaking me out I'm like always saying the N word Yeah, I get I'm not saying anything bad.

I'm not taking out anything. I just, when I'm being socially awkward, which is a lot of the time, I just be like, oh, cut that, cut that. And it makes me uncomfortable to know I have to live with everything. You know what I mean? I'll say though, I listened to podcasts for years

and then I came in here and listened to you do it and I wasn't like, damn, Jackie's way more awkward than she sounds. I was gonna say, I've never listened to the podcast in my and then I came in here and listen you do it and I wasn't like damn Jackie's way more awkward than she said Listen to the podcast in my life, but I've never sat here and thought I hope Jackie cleans that up We actually might oh really that's so sweet my therapist the other day said she listened to the podcast You told your therapist the podcast name? I did well cuz I was like Yeah, I don't name I did well because I was like

I've had people ask me the name. I'm like you'll have to fucking Listen to it because it's just like I don't think that I even said the name I think it's just like in a store because my whole therapy sessions. I'm like, I think I'm fucking up I think I'm fucking up like I'm so bad at my job. Whatever. So she didn't ask me She later was like sorry. I definitely should have asked you if I could listen. But she was like, I went ahead and listened just to see exactly if you were fucking up as much as you're fucking up. And she was like, you seriously make it sound like everyone hates you and they're like, you're doing a lot worse

than you are, whatever. But then she was like, she brought up, I guess one episode, she was like, you guys were talking about like gang bangs? And I was like. You asked the etymology of them. What? You asked the etymology.

Well yeah, but also I was like, because I didn't know what episode she listened to, so I was like, you're gonna have to be more specific. I don't know, she was like, I don't know, like you seriously don't remember like when you talked about gang bangs? And I was like, I don't, like it's don't remember when you talked about gang bangs? And I was like, I don't, it seriously, it could have dropped a pin.

And then one of the episodes, there will be talk about gang bangs. And then she ended up saying it was the etymology of gang. No, no, no, sorry, it wasn't the etymology one. It was when I was saying, the one that she listened to, that my therapist listened to, was me saying that everyone, life is like a gang bang where you're jerking one guy off, you're sucking up. And I go, oh, I wouldn't listen anymore.

And she goes, it was definitely like, you know, a crazy thing to say, but like, it seemed like, you know, it was good for the, like, whatever. She said it seemed like it was on par for the podcast. Anyways, I just was kind of mortified and I might have to cancel my therapy session, but I forgot what I was even saying about that. Oh yeah, she said, kind of similar to what you said, she said, you're doing great, sweetie.

Do you honestly think that? Do you think people don't like you? Yeah. I seriously think, sweetie. Do you honestly think that? Do you think people don't like you? Yeah. I seriously think, like I told you, I seriously think my soccer coach fucked me up. I think, well, it depends what you're talking about. People in the office, yeah, most people in the office don't like you.

But here, we do. Well, the five of us are good. Everyone loves me. No, I also came up in therapy. What did your soccer coach do? Seriously, he was my soccer coach from the time I was nine till I was 17, right? And he was like, he didn't raise me,

but he was like, whatever. But then he just decided one day that he hated me. And he fucking took it out on me. And all my teammates were like, what the fuck did you do to him? Like why does he hate you so much? I was like, I don't know guys and so then he literally every single day I just took all the shit out of me and so then I just forever I'm kind of like for how many years was that? It was three years. I was his favorite and then one day he just was like I hate you

And then yelled at me every single day what you have no idea what you did. Well, I just got bad at soccer Seriously everything was pretty strictly about my skills. No, but then he would like, he would like sit there and like, it was clearly like everyone was like, yeah, he's clearly taking out everything on you. And he like, it was just a whole thing. And I don't really need to get into it. But ever since then, I'm just kind of like, like, it was a flip switch, like, oh, people like me? Nope, not for long, until they hate you. Until they hate you. Until they hate you, it was like the, you know,

going from favorite to least favorite, so that kind of got dark, I didn't mean to do, but not even dark, I'm just kidding. Did you take it out? Did you take it out this morning? No, Steve, we started 20 minutes ago. No, no, no, podcast starts now. What's up, It's another edition.

Did you take a turbo this morning? No. No, I just, okay, what's up with you guys? Um let's see. Uh I was just scrolling Twitter just now. Uh I saw Time put out their list of the 100 most influential podcasts of all time. Nothing from Barstool on it is insane. That's crazy. Have they heard my gang name?

Like part of my take, obviously, number one with a bullet, I would think Call Her Daddy should be on there. That's not on there. I don't know. I didn't read the whole list. I just know that I don't know. I heard someone say there's nothing from Barstool. Chicklet should probably be on it.

Cracking aces. Cracking aces on there. There's like to have, I know all those lists are put out to have what's happening happen. Like people get upset and have attention. It's like people who don't vote Ken Griffey into the hall of fame. Griffey was the first hundred percent, right? Yeah Griffey was the only he's like Ichiro, right? Like people don't get in on her It's just to draw attention to it. That has to be what's happening here

Yeah, the hundred most influential podcast of all time part of my takes not on that Yeah, we but I don't ever since smart lists like realizing up smart. This wasn't on it. It's my list wasn't on it No, okay. Well, that weird, but I was just saying- Call her daddy's five. Call her daddy's five, okay. So I guess when they say nothing from Barstool, they mean nothing actively from Barstool? Yeah.

Well I was gonna say, now I'm kind of, well since Smart List, I've never seen the club for a moment, or seen any promotion, I've never seen anything, yet they're still number one on all the charts for some reason. I'm just kind of like I feel like I We see a weird bubble that of podcasts that like not everyone else Is I think it's like one of those things really you see a chart a song's been charting for like

Ten weeks as number one you've never heard that song before like any Selena Gomez song I think it's just like it's just like fake. Yeah, they just like who who listens to podcasts Like do people in like they do're just like, who listens to podcasts? Do people in New York listen to podcasts? I don't know anyone who listens to podcasts. Yeah. All right. I know some people who listen to podcasts.

Yeah. I also listen to podcasts. Huh? I listen to podcasts. I know you listen to podcasts. I guess I always forget you do. I do not listen to podcasts. You don't listen to podcasts.

You do? You do? No. What do you listen to? What do you do everywhere? No. Music You do. You do. No. What do you listen to? What do you do? No Music or just stare. Yeah, like what about when you're like folding laundry or like washing the dishes? You're just silence Really? Yeah. Yeah, I don't i'll have like an aneurysm if I don't have like three forms of stimulation. No matter what I I think actually it's funny because I facetimed my godson yesterday was his birthday and I got like

Legitimately sick from it and I think it's like it's like how I can't play video games either It was just too fast. I can't my eyes can't keep up with it. Like I don't ever facetime I got Like I had to lay down after the fake to call wait What do you mean just cuz like I don't like, like you saying like I need more forms of stimulation, I think I can only have one. Otherwise it is a fucking nightmare. Oh, yeah. But it like, it was like, you know,

like he's passing the phone, like my mom's here, my grandma's here. And I was like, Patrick buddy, you gotta fucking chill with that. Put that shit on tripod right now. I literally hung up on him. I was like, yeah, my food just got here, so I gotta run. I was at home. I didn't even know I could get dinner and like that. But it is...

Well, I like, if I have a conversation with anyone, I don't understand people like multitasking. I can't text while I'm talking or whatever. And like, not only am I fully focused in taking all my energy to focus on like the situation? I'm not even like really listening to the words anybody's saying I'm just kind of trying to focus on like trying to see act normal and like not Act as anxious as possible like right now like I'm I'm I don't know what the fuck you're saying Definitely tell the podcast cuz like I'll say something I'm seriously like a human version of what's it called? Like Internet Explorer or the whatever where it's like. The shitty search engine.

Yeah, exactly. You guys will say something and then I'll watch it back. And like 10 minutes later, I'll like go back to that and be like and have some kind of comment on. I'm so nervous. Why are you so nervous? You've done this podcast for a hundred times. I know. I don't know why. One't know why I'm like 1000 times. I'm just like scared. I'm just like scared about not taking it out. But anyways, I just recognize

like I am. I'm so focused on myself on this podcast that I don't even listen to what you guys are saying. So if I ever say something delayed, like that's, you know what? Sorry. No, it's perfect Jackie's like I think everyone hates me yeah I am a humongous narcissist I'm only thinking about myself I also like seriously don't remember conversations I think I like trauma black it out cut that out and then I went really crazy. You're like so not supposed to do that and I broke up with everybody.

What else is up guys? I'm just letting you run dude. This is your show. It's another edition of YouTube. If you're going to trade crypto, do it right. I'm just letting you run dude, this is your show. It's another edition of ETA. If you're gonna trade crypto, do it right. Don't do it on sketchy platforms with sketchier customer support.

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It's crazy you chose today of all days to do this. No, no, no, Steve's not editing shit today. I'm not editing this whole podcast. This is the Jackie podcast, what else do you wanna talk about? No, I seriously don't have anything, I was just gonna say, if we don't think this will happen. This is the Jackie podcast. What else do you want to talk about? No, I seriously don't have anything. I was just going to say, if we don't have anything, I have a notes app that I can.

But I don't. No, let's get it. They're all going to be one and done. Well, does anyone have anything? Nothing. All you. What do you have? This is the Jackie podcast.

I have a question. Yeah. Do you guys think there's been more hours of Call of Duty played or more hours of human history? more hours of human history, um What yeah, I feel like For sure more hours of human is this is this a you question or is this an internet question? It was an internet staff that I saw that I said this would be a good question. Oh, what do you think?

I said this would be a good question. Oh, what do you think? Human history. Yeah, there have been 2.8 million years of Call of Duty played in total and 300,000 years of humans Once I saw that was I heard that it was like, yeah, I guess I didn't think about how many is going on at once Yeah, I guess that makes sense. It does make sense. It is like It makes sense cuz it's dumb. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like we're combining hundreds of people or thousands of people all their time spending video games. All I know is Sass plays like 17 hours a day. And there's hundreds of thousands of Sass. There's thousands of Sass. That's good. You know the Uno plays like all the time? You're a Call of Duty player? Really? Are you good?

So you play like at night you play? Well, I'm out of practice. I don't have an Xbox in New York, but at home I play it all the time Like like so like you'll be in college and no, I don't have it in college. It's literally just my parents So it's just like what for Christmas break. That's like what I do during Christmas break. But I did it all in high school. So you play Call of Duty like I play hockey? Do you play hockey like? Like Christmas break once a year that me and my friends get together. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I guess.

Maybe, maybe like that. But like I just graduated college, so I'm home for the last four years. I've been home for like three months every year. So I can put in hours during the summer. Now that you're, you're, you're like defensive, which I respect. Well, no, I put in the time. I'm not some fucking fly by night call a duty player.

Never make me play. I'll be horrible. We're going to have you play SAS. Fuck no. Alright let's see this notes app. I mean it's all gonna be like there's not gonna be much large discussion of it but I'll just read everything that I got. I have a different feeling but we'll see. James how are we doing so far? It's Joseph. Joseph, I'm sorry. You just never do it. No, you freestyle it every time. I'm so bad. I'm oddly bad with J names.

You know what? My name. You know what I realize is if somebody says Jackie, the first person I think of, like associate that name with, is Jackie Chan. Like way before me. You are a fucking mess, dude. Wait, just 30 seconds ago, you're like, all I do is think about myself and me.

Someone mentions Jackie, it's obviously Jackie Chan. I don't know why, like, somebody said, oh, like, my name's, or they were like, my name's Jackie, and my first thought was, oh, like Jackie J. Um, okay, this is not the person. I feel like, okay, British people, I feel like they're pranking us saying schedule, like the way that they say schedule, saying it like schedule or schedule. Like that's stupid, I know that's stupid, you fucking know that's stupid.

I feel like they're they're poking us like I That's idiot like that's Okay, but that's just one thought there. No, no, okay, so I actually have something to say about that. I agree. I think it's funny, but I have seen a British person rebut that, and it was a perfect answer. And so I think it was like Colbert and John Oliver or something like that. And Colbert was making fun of how he pronounces words and he just went, well, we invented the language. So I think we say it right. And I was like, that's tough to fight.

That's a tough argument to have. But that's kind of like the argument of like, you know how British people are like, British people are saying like Americans have accents? No, we don't. Like we don't, like this is the lack of an accent. Whenever anybody sings they don't have an accent. Like Americans, like not to be like, America we're fucking right over here, but like we don't have an accent.

I would agree with you. Having just got back from London, I would notice when I said things like the like the waiter or whatever would kind of brighten up like they like, Oh, I got to hear an American say that. Like you like you heard like an English person say like cheerio or something like that. And like, Oh, they really say that in real life. Like they got very excited. I honestly don't even know. Like, I think it was probably just I was talking crass. Like, like, like one of them was for sure a waiter being like, how's your day going? I was like, okay, unbelievable. And that for some reason, he's like, well, they talk like that.

But it's like, yeah, obviously we talk different from them, but we took a right. Are we the only country that like different regions have different accents? That's dumb. No, no. You can. Oh, God. Yeah. Yeah. Like Liverpool, a Scouser accent is completely different. Are you able to tell the difference? I can tell. Not between all of them, but some of them for sure. There's Cockney, Liverpool, Scouser, there's Posh, there's... But like for us, it could be like 20 miles down the road. You're talking pretty different.

Like every part of Long Island talks different. I think I know. I would imagine it's the same everywhere like I know my Spanish teacher Had a lisp and that was because he was from boss country. Yeah So they spoke different there then they speak in fucking Madrid But I would I would venture to guess it is a incredibly Jackie you're activated read your second one. Okay. Jackie, you're activated. Read your second one. Okay.

I always wanted to do this segment. I forgot. Moment of silence segment. Okay. Where we each go around the room, we say a moment of silence, and then we hold a moment of silence or something. Okay. I don't have anything off the top of my head right now.

Okay. I got Sunday afternoon. Sunday afternoon. This is one of the best stories I'll ever tell. And if you don't think so, it's just because you haven't experienced it. Okay. Sunday afternoon, I was sitting by an open window, just listening to the sounds of outside, reading a magazine, and a fly came into my apartment. And I rolled up the magazine I was reading, whacked the fly, went back to reading my article. It was a dream. I was like, whacked the fly, went back to reading my article.

It was a dream. I was like, this is what Americana is all about right here. This is what my grandfather was talking about. This is why he stormed the beach at D-Day. Fucking this right here. But I like the whole moment of silence for that fly. Oh. OK, moment of silence. Moment of silence.

That was a really short moment. He's a fly silence. Moment of silence. Moment of silence, is there a fly? That was a really short moment of silence. He's a fly, he's a fly. He's a fly, and also it's a fucking moment, you know? It's a minute of silence. You know before, I don't know if it's all of Europe, but I went to a bar to watch an EPL game right after, I think it was the Leicester City owner was coming to a game and his helicopter just crashed

and he died, obviously. And so I was at a game, I think it was Arsenal, Liverpool, I went with Za to like some bar in the East Village to watch the game. And they had a moment of silence before the game for the owner who had just died. And they do a full minute in eternity. And it was like an EPL bar. So like everyone, you know, like sometimes like at like an Olympic event, like the bar will stand up for the anthem kind of deal.

Like the whole bar stood up and agreed to the moment of silence. And it was just like the longest minute of my life. It was so goddamn long. That's so uncomfortable. Yeah. I, I, I always have felt like everyone does a minute long. But again, it's called a moment of silence. You don't need to do the full minute.

You don't need a timer. At some point, everyone, they think about it for 30 seconds, and then everyone else is thinking, all right, this is long. You get 10 seconds to think about that person and the rest is about yourself. Yeah. Yeah.

Then you're like, what am I going to eat today? It's like when you're kneeling in a wake. You're like, god, I better look like a fucking idiot up here. I don't know, God, I guess, can you watch after this guy? Like, my knee's fucking hurt right now. I don't even remember how to do a prayer. This is so dumb.

Do I do this one, or is it this one? Whenever it's like singing the homilies, and you're just like, I'm not... That's a good moment of silence is it not have a moment of silence No Joseph you included Jacob you Joseph agree agree fucking real Did you see the Robbie Fox sent it to me yesterday going around Did you see the Robbie Fox sent to me yesterday going around? The Hey one second. Sorry

it was it was Ozzy Osbourne at some f1. Yeah, so bizarre f1 interview during the Canadian Grand Prix Did you guys I'm gonna pause this real quick Did you guys you guys obviously didn't really grow up on or watch The Osborns. It's probably the only reality TV I've ever watched. I don't think it was like a nightly appointment viewing for me, but I watched it with some regularity.

It's the funniest thing about it. It's just laughing at a handicap man, but it was like the funniest thing of him just, like do you know he couldn't speak? Yeah, was that from like drugs or just like is he kind of I think it's from yeah I'm sure it's from everything. Yeah, like I mean he snorted fire once He started he snorted piss he like he's done a little bit But this clip was just like this is how this man went through life for like

30 years, right? Yeah, I'm just, I'm in a columnar writing a musical about the life and time of the Russian beauty, the Mad Monk. And we just got, they're only to go on Broadway. All right, I'll try and think of a question for that answer. Did you bring the dogs with you? No, they're all at home shitting. And then he would just have these moments of clarity, where it's like, we're the dogs,

they're all at home shitting. Okay, to be fair, that's literally me trying to say the schedule thing. He just drops like, did I hear a Rasputin in there? Like, Ozzy, how you doing? How you enjoying the F1, mate? Rasputin, what the fuck? What did he have? Or was there anything else? I think well, I'll see how you do. I enjoy the f1 mate What did he have or was there anything I I'm sure that there is like if you google it there's some kind of answer But yeah, he had Parkinson's. Oh, okay. Well fucking made it real Yeah, it was just like I was like 12 and I was like, I don't know this old guy's insane

Wait, how old was he 76? Yeah, I also don't know Yeah, yeah, you lived hard The I don't know much of his catalog I don't I don't have like a ton of Ozzy Osbourne knowledge outside of the Osbournes and fucking crazy train which the Patriots are page was he ever like kind of like Actually Like I feel like the only times I knew him

The only time I knew him was like it's a joke cuz he was like kind of his brain was so fried by the time Was he actually like known to be a really good artist is that yes? Again, I'm not it's not my genre of music so I don't really know well but like I know he was considered like a genre defining. Yeah. Not even genre defining I think genre inventing. I think he was like the god of heavy metal. I think so, that's my understanding of it. Damn, RIP. RIP has a nice eulogy for Ozzy. Okay, the, you know the like, feels like temp? It's like the whole temperature and it feels like, who comes up with that? Who comes up with it? Yeah. How do they get up with the feels like? I assume someone at the, someone who studied weather. Yeah, do they just have like an intern that they're just like, Jacob, what do you think?

The first person who goes outside that day. The first person who goes outside that day. Alright, just like the thing, they just have an intern. Says 76 feels like fucking 92! It's like some company like, alright, he said 92. That's a new rule, I like that. It feels like temp is decided by just the first person who goes outside. They walk in, they're like, what's it, what do you feel? Okay, let's all to the side. They walk in, they're like, what's it, what do you feel?

Okay, let's all start the podcast. We'll have a momentous silence segment, and then we'll also have feels like, whoever gets in first gets to do the feels like down here. What's your feels like for today? You know what, actually, I kinda thought, it said 70, it felt like 65. I was gonna say pretty low, pretty low.

I might've said high 50s. Yesterday was 80, felt like 65. I wore a flannel yesterday Yeah, told them I would work. Yeah. Yeah, I Keeps okay feels like temp, you know As far as KFC radio is concerned the weather Jackie handles feels like When you get in every day Be like coincide with my mood, you know? Piss off mood, and it feels like fucking hell.

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What brain comes to mind when you say advertisement? Go. Oh God, I began with an, I don't know. I still don't have something clear that's come to mind. I went with an A first. Now I'm thinking FedEx. Love FedEx. Apple. Okay. Cricket Mobile. Oh wow, okay.

Cricket Mobile? I don't know what that is. You haven't seen that ad? It's for like a phone. Yeah, Cricket Mobile. You haven't seen that? No. I was the like Justin Long Apple commercials. Oh, wait what? Justin Long's Apple. Oh remember that when he was the cool guy and then the the Mac the Mac and PC the PC was in oh yeah yeah all

right Jared okay I thought Geico Geico all good ones FedEx FedEx came to mind because it's the arrow, I think. Yeah, you know about my college essay? No. Yeah. She's explaining this one. I'm explaining this whole thing. I'm probably too busy thinking about myself. I'm actually like, no offense, but I'm not going to explain it.

Ah, that's cool. Give me the essay if you want. It was how I got into college. Oh, okay. I want to come up with some kind of slang opposite of opposite of cash money like like oh that wasn't cash money Like that was like contactless Like what's off? You know, like that's a contactless payment like that's sucked like that What's what's the like

What's the process for like when you come up with an idea, what gets to the notes app and what goes, nah, that's not worth it? Most of them, like, not worth it. Not worth writing it down. But do you write it down or do you go, that's not worth it? I write it down. I just write down everything. Just because I'm like, one of them might start gold one day.

And like, you know, obviously not all of them do it reminds me of the the Mitch Hedberg joke where he has Talks about how hard it is being a comedian and he's like you gotta think of funny things You gotta write him down And if I can't find a pen I got to convince myself it's not funny You sometimes I'll try and like, be like, oh, remember that, that was good. Like at nighttime when I don't feel like, you know, turning on and then I wake up in the morning

and most of them I'm just like, good thing I didn't write that down. Oh, I do that. I do the, I always sleep on that one. Yeah, you wake up. And then you wake up and you go, ah, it's not worth it. It is so crazy how like, something about the nighttime, like you think that you are seriously cooking

with whatever thought. And then you wake up. It's when you're half asleep too. Because you're going to have dream. You're almost a little delusional. You know what is weird? That is when you have some of your best ideas, is in that dream state, kind of that fugue state,

I guess it would be. But when your brain's working the best, it's the morning. Is it really? I don't think so. For men it is. For men, because when your testosterone's biased, that's the morning. Is it really? I don't think so. For men it is. For me, because when you're like testosterone's biased, that's when you're like, again, I don't know.

That's what I read. I know that when you're about to fall asleep and when you wake up, your brain's in like the theta wave or the theta wave, whatever state. And that's when you're most like, you absorb the most information. Like that's when you're up until seven seven that's why you like everything so impressionable on you is because you're in like a theta state so then you can like if you want to rewire your brain to believe something then you just like repeat it in the morning right when you wake up or right before you're about to fall asleep and then it like

you know really changes your thought process that's a good note I also feel like a lot of my nighttime thoughts are like I'm like What am I supposed to do with this information? I like for example cake is just lasagna It is technically a form of lasagna cakes lasagna, yeah, no, you nailed that one. And I remember being like, could I make any kind of money off of that? What do I do with that information? Jackie's on the corn just shaking a fucking bin. You guys ever thought about cakes lasagna? One of these days.

Just fully dressed, totally normal. Just sitting like a homeless woman shouting absurd facts that people like I guess you're right everyone's like I guess you're right you can make a pretty penny sitting outside Penn Station you going home to cook dinner? Speaking of food. And it's not any other fact. It's honestly just the fact that Cake is La Zondra. I just repeat it all the time.

Someone gives you five blocks. They're like, that woman is insightful. They come back the next day. She's just shouting the same thing. I feel like she's got one pitch. It's the Cake is La Zondra. It's the Cake La the Zonni girl. I eventually come up with like merch.

I think I've asked this before, actually, speaking of homeless people, this is not the most happening, but if you were homeless, how would you how would you go about making money? I've said this, I think, since I was a child, I would I would just. Subtick. Suck dick. Laughter I was a little seven year old boy, my parents were like, you gotta eat, there are people who are hungry. Why couldn't they just suck dick?

No Johnny. I don't know, I've always said I'd just suck dick if I was hungry. Since I was a young lad, I've always said, yeah. What have you always said, though? I would just walk. I'd get out of here. You'd walk. You'd just go, OK.

You know what my actual plan is? Start walking south. Start walking south, because you don't want winners. I love winners as a person who can afford a home and clothes. If I couldn't afford a home and clothes, I wouldn't be a huge winner. So I would just start walking south. And then as you're walking, you stop in at resorts.

Because, well, you first of all, you'd have to steal yourself some clothes that could make you blend in at a resort. But then you go to, you stop in a resort, fucking sign the bill with any room number, see you later. You don't think they would catch on really fast? As soon as you get caught in your resort. Oh, don't get me wrong.

But all you need is one. There would be news reports up and down the Eastern Seaboard about the guy who's stealing lunches at resorts. But I think I wouldn't dilly dally. I'd get my lunch, I'd get on my way. And I don't think they'd care enough to be like, who got a fucking Caprese salad and charged it to roommate 62 I

think they'd just be like yeah someone would complain they go yeah I don't know I didn't eat a salad and they go we'll take it off your bill so it really it's a harmless crime yeah yeah that's true they probably wouldn't or like then you go and you go to the the gift store and you get like the nice dresses and then you buy those you say put it on room for room yeah and then you sell that dress if I became homeless tomorrow, I would start living better than I do today. Yeah.

It's really just like, yeah, honestly, our non-homelessness that's keeping us back. Like no getting designer dresses. My goddamn apartment's holding me back. If I could be a homeless guy, the world would be my oyster. Yeah, I would be sucking so much, dude. homeless guy, the world would be my oyster. Yeah, I would be sucking so much.

Yeah, I saw one time a guy, he had a nice little china set. And then it was like, make a wish. And it was over a pier. And then everyone did that. And he had so many nickels by the end of the day. Oh, he was convincing people to throw nickels in? Yeah, so I would probably do that. I heard the ocean likes blue bills.

You know what really good is? Good luck. Yeah, but I like your idea better. Yeah, I just think that would be the path of least resistance. I don't think I'd be causing enough commotion that people would be looking for me. I think I live pretty goddamn well. I kind of want to do that now. I think I think I've lived pretty goddamn well. I kind of want to do that now Tent in the in the woods, I think it's easiest way to go get a tent go to the woods haunt for your food Oh, so you're just like you're just like Yeah, I think that would be so much better to be homeless in the woods and to be homeless in a city perhaps you went last one fucking Terrified in the woods yeah, I've never really been

Yeah, like I don't think most of us have been like in the woods in the woods Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I've been to national parks, and I've been Camping and I've been hunting but like to be in the woods I think is fucking I think it's like to be in the woods I think is fucking I think it's like being just in the middle of the ocean I don't know I don't have anything around me that I know how it works yeah well then you'd learn you'd adapt I don't think I would now I think I think I'd be like the resorts right down the road the fuck am I doing in the woods there's a hundred unsuck dicks at that restaurant! Caprese salad! Come here! Pants down!

I don't even think I've ever had a caprese salad. I don't know why I said that. It sounds really good. What is it, like basil, mozzarella, and tomato? Yeah. I could get on with that. Refreshing on the... What is it, these exact ingredients? I... well yeah, because I feel like whenever you hear about people and they're like, oh, it would take me

You know X amount of calories to hunt this whatever so it's not worth it. Like it just doesn't seem like it doesn't seem Do you know people who know how many calories they'd expend hunting? Well, that's what you have to do is when when you when you are, you know Trying to survive you say like if I hunt if I can fish right now that's gonna be less calories if I hunt a bear like I then I'm gonna expend more calories and it's gonna be worth you know what I mean I don't I mean I do understand what you're saying but I'd never would have thought of that that's like in the TV show like alive or whatever like wilderness like that's what they do is they're like it's not worth it like you know what if I I had a couple more calories in me,

I would fight this bear, but I guess I'll fish. Another one. It's just the guy's saying it real loud so the women hear him. I would go fight that bear, but I guess a trout wouldn't be so bad. The calories. I take back my answer, by the way.

I would become a caddy again. Cause you got the caddy shack. You could stay there at night, wake up. You're on a beautiful golf course, probably get served food by one of the other golfers get to tip $200 a day. They slip you a free drink here and there. Get the golf on Tuesdays. Yeah. But, but you're just talking about like, you're like, Oh, why I would go work in investment banking. You're like, oh, I would go work in investment banking. You can't say a job. But it's not like you're not on contract or anything.

You can show up, or you don't have to show up. I guess. OK, but in this scenario, you have seriously you have done crack in front of millions of people. You're unemployed, and you're homeless, and you have to. I don't I don't know You know what you're right. I like to tell you about the other caddies I worked with. Most homeless and on crack. Okay, yeah crack crack was your unhireable move. We have three crack addicts who work here

Yeah, I don't know why that was my yeah Yeah, you can be a catty. I'll let it slide. Do you guys have anything? I mean, Bon Jovi has like a diner or something where you just do dishes to get food. Oh, sick. That's the answer. Steve is like, look, whatever you do, I'm not losing New Jersey Rock and Roll. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like I would definitely sell drugs. That seems like a solid way to make a living.

Sell drugs? Yeah. I think that's a harder road. But do you ever see a nice girl drug dealer? No one's going to kill me. No. I think I know why. That's what I'm saying. There's a space in the market. There's an opening in the market for just a nice girl drug dealer like no one's gonna kill me. That's what I'm saying. There's a space in the market.

There's an opening in the market for like just a nice girl who has crack but I'm not doing it. When I first lived in New York, I lived with a drug dealer and it's not, it didn't seem like it was the hardest job. Like he was just like, people would just show up at the apartment and he'd hand him the bag.

It was also weird that like there was a time when drug dealers just selling weed, like he was just selling weed, but at that time it was like dude my roommate's a fucking drug dealer and that was like 10 years ago. Like yo my roommate sells drugs, he just sold weed that like I could buy on the street corner now. Yeah it is I can buy on the street corner now. Yeah, yeah. It is fully legal here, right? It sure is. It's legal everywhere now, right? It's not federally set.

Not everywhere, but it's legal in a lot of, most of the places you wanna go, you can buy weed at. Yeah, okay. I just, coining the term, like, almond milk effect is just where you hop on board something just because everyone else is doing it and It's just like I'm just describing being like trendy and

But like I feel like yeah, I Know it keeps going like and I didn't I just kind of 430 so let's go. Okay perfect. Okay and we have to obviously cut out the dead air sorry and everything else I said up top. I feel like I feel like little brothers of an older brother with no sister. Sorry if anybody knows what that is Steve.

Well I don't think they know about you but like I feel like they're a person. No they're just more sensitive than you would think Little brothers with an older brother and no sister and no sister This sounds like a very personal experience Little brothers and like you'd be like, oh you have an older brother like you can take you know A lot of shit, but they're actually really sensitive. Yeah Don't even get me started on their last names coolage I'm just saying it sounds like you're talking

Do you think that a homeless person this is It's I feel like all my thoughts are Do you think a homeless person person has ever owned an umbrella? Bought an umbrella? Because if you're being rained on and you're homeless, I don't really think... There's not much to that. I don't know if a homeless person, do they really care about the rain? Bro, I see homeless people with la boo boos.

I think they have umbrellas. That's a good point. Oh, actually that's a really good point. Can you guys explain a la boo boo to me? Why do you say it like that? Because you just added la in front of a word that already... it's a boo-boo. I have no idea what this is. Le mascot, le boo-boo. It's just fashionable.

Okay. No, I'm asking. Is that why people have la-boo-boos? I think they're stupid and I hate them. But it's just a fact. It's not like a fucking Pokemon card. There's no value to them. It's not even fashionable. Oh, there's value. So there is people are buying them, like Beanie Babies.

They're buying them off in a reseller? Yes. It's actually very much like that, I think. Yeah. Wait, what is it? It's like that little furry thing people wear on a boat loop, I think. I thought for a while people were talking about it was just

a cute name for Louboutins Yeah, yeah, yeah, so these are they're they're bought to use for fashion You put them like on a purse or something Yeah, it's like a key chain I think at first people were buying them because they thought they were cute and now since they're a fashion trend people are buying Them to resell like anything else. Yeah, well, it's kind of just like a Pokemon cards almost Oh, yeah, that's what that's what it's more stupid than that yeah I don't is at least like kind of a game or is a game this is just like literally I don't I don't like when trends get infantilizing and it's like why are you acting like a

little child yeah I I've never understood, like the jelly cats trend. It's like just another stuffed animal, the beanie babies. Like, well, I think- Just stuffed animals, like I've dated girls who like, this is my stuff from a kid. I'm like, that's fucking bizarre. I never like grew attached to anything, any kind of stuffed animal or anything

enough to be like, I care about. You know, like, so maybe I just have like attachment issues and like, that's why I don't understand it but I but as someone like you who doesn't have weird attachments to things like people with blankets or doll I don't know anything like that reminds me of childhood I'm like I don't want to be around that oh well that might be trauma it certainly could be I'm not not like there's no way, but I just think like I'm not a child. Why do I want to be around childish stuff?

Yeah, yeah, I agree. I also I can't like really do anything with it. Yeah, like you want me to play with this? Yeah. What am I supposed to do with this fucking thing? I also think like whenever I'm in Montecito, like Time Warner's house. I walk by it and like it's fucking massive And I kind of realized whenever I walk by like people are just trying to like recreate the beanie babies And like make a bunch of money from it the way they wait when you walk by whose house is the time tie Warner?

Who's that the guy who made beanie babies? Oh really? Yeah. Oh, I didn't know I think you said time Warner like the Was like well, I'm dumb I didn't realize that was a guy I've been in front of stuff or whatever. Does friend slip always entail like sexual I think Freud was a bit of a pervert so I think yeah. Oh so was it named after I thought he was like a philosopher was it named after Freud? Freud was like a therapist. Oh okay got it got it. He had some weird thoughts. Oh really? It was cuz like you would always say like the the stages of when you're a baby or whatever like he was about sex like the anal stage whatever so like 40ian slip started when people would like

accidentally like call like their girlfriend mom or something. Like that was like a big thing. He was big on like the edible complex. Oh, okay. He was big on like you're gonna marry someone that looks exactly like your mom. Yeah, smells like your mom, like stuff like that.

Really strange. Yeah, he liked, he liked, Freud, Sigmund liked his mom a little bit. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. He's like, guys, it's fucking normal, okay? Sigmund was quite attached to his mother. But yeah, so I think typically a Freudian slip is about sexual.

I think even like more specific, I think it's a sexual slip about your mother. That's so funny that he's just like trying to like put signs behind it. That must be so awesome if you get so smart. Like I'm smarter than everyone. I can can convince them that word. I'm the normal If you don't want to bang your mom You're just not feeling it you're not feeling How should I respond to this boy calm I feel like should be a website that girls can go to and just be like They call that chat GPT. Yeah, but is it advice from other girls or is it advice from a computer?

I think I want advice from other girls. I want to be like almost a Facebook group. Well, I guess Another question for a guy maybe it'd be younger than you guys is it younger than you guys or is it you guys who like? Everyone like talks a chat jbt like a friend. No, it's all right. It's your age So like what is what is the I guess it maybe you guys can answer or your friends have told you like Why would you ask a computer a human question? Because how do I deal with this situation? It's a computer. It's not a person. Yeah, I know but they but they almost come out with like an objective like sometimes I'll be like I have to

Like, you know when you're just standing too close to something that you're like, I don't even know what's like I have too much stake in the game and they comes at it from just like a new perspective almost where you're like All right, you're kind of taking the emotions out of it Okay, I get that. You know, I mean, yeah, I understand that which how you're like all right you're kind of taking the emotions out of it okay I get that you know I mean yeah I understand that which how you should like you like a human should be able to take the emotions out of it just think about it for a second well yeah but also it's I feel like with everybody I kind of also feel like your mom is the only one who really cares about your problems like I wanted to create how should I respond to your, what?

All right, Freud. I just think like the only hot person ever. And we should be able to fuck up. That's so true. Call me off the heels of that. But like how should I respond to your, to this boy.com came from like, cause I feel like I'm just like bothering

my friends all the time. Like you get like three orcom came from like, cause I feel like I'm just bothering my friends all the time, like you get like three or four times being like, hey, how should I respond to this text before you start to become kind of like a burden on everybody. I think three or four is awfully high. Yeah, I mean like, no, like with the way that I would, it would be like years helping, like whatever.

What is wrong with you? I don't know. You're like the most normal person It would be like years helping, like whatever. What is wrong with you? You're like the most normal person except when you just start thinking about yourself. I'm thinking about myself. I know. Well, I'm saying like with friends, like sometimes, like you would think that after a while,

like the training wheels will come off, and they'd be able to like. But no. And I do that too. The training wheels, just like once you get attached to those training wheels, you kind of realize like they can't come off. You're like, oh, he's actually been texting my friend this whole time, like, she's been coming up with everything.

So anyways, to avoid that, it's howdoirrespondwiththisboy.com or chatgbt. But anyways, the point is also, it's like, when you, I feel like sometimes when I talk about my problems too many times to people, although my friends are the best ever and they're so nice, at some point I'm like, you guys don't actually care and you don't have a stake in the game

the way that I have a stake in the game, or the way that my mom actually cares. Right? Right? So to avoid. But then when I tell my mom everything, then she worries about me, and she's like, are you OK? So then how should I respond to this boy?

Or she has to do it. What's an example of a question you would ask? What would the boy say that you have to you go? Seriously anything it's like hey like holy fuck. I don't know I Did it's like mostly especially when it's like hanging out. It's like what's the most chill way to approach this It's So you will ask I'm guessing you ask chat GBT or your friends.

I don't ask chat GBT. Like how do I be chill? Well it'd be like. It'd be like step one, don't ask that question. Yeah, I shouldn't. I'm trying to think, I haven't in a while. I haven't like, I don't know. I don't know.

I really truly haven't. Recently I've just been like, I don't really give a don't know. I really truly haven't. Recently I've just been like, I don't really give a fuck. If he thinks I'm weird, I don't really give a fuck anymore. There you go. And that has kicked in. But like in college, I would seriously be like, what do I say? Like, how do I sound chill?

Or like, how do I like sound like I, you know, I don't know. But if like, if you're, if you're, and this isn't just to you, it's to anybody, but if you're asking, yeah, like you said it, they're talking to your friends. Yeah. So you're making someone fall in love or in like or whatever your goal is with your friends.

So then that happened in. So why don't you just be yourself? Yeah, well, so that makes it. When I stopped is because this happened in high school where my best friend, I ran everything by her and this guy. And then they had a class together. And then they slowly started getting more buddy-buddy. And then she kept being like, hi, he's basically texting me.

We're basically dating. And then I was like, it was funny the first time. And now it's getting real. And now you're talking about like, Matt's said, oh, I should take that out. Oh, yeah. Matt said this to me today. Like, Matt said that I looked so cute today or whatever. And I was like, oh, that's kind of crazy of you

to say that about the guy I'm talking to. And then they just started dating. Like, they legitimately just came up to me one day. We were like, hey, so we're dating now. And I was like, cool, yeah, the best for you guys. Nice. I could go get screamed at by my coach in soccer. I hope you guys enjoy it. That time period I was just like, fuck my fucking life, dude.

I feel like it's 120 out here. Yeah. You fucking know I'm... Yeah. Anyways, so, um, hence I want to create... How do I talktothisboy.com to avoid more situations like that? How do you talktothisboy.com is you say, talk like yourself. Yeah, well, so then I realized, like, all right, I'm going to have to stop relying on these fucking backstopping friends to help me out.

So yeah, but now I realize. The goal is you want him to like you, right? Yeah, but what if. So it's a pretty simple process. But what if, like, you know, I am not. Do you know what I mean? Like, now I get that. Now it's just like, I seriously have the mindset where it's

just like, all right, take it or leave it. And like, if you want to leave it, like, I get it now it's just like I seriously have the mindset where it's just like All right, take it or leave it and like yeah, if you want to leave it like I get it But in the past I would I would Be more self-conscious of that. I get that. Yeah, but you're old now, but okay Luckily you're getting nice and old You're gonna have to settle at some point giant Anyways, I miss you Matt

Do you think that loss made everyone horny around planes Like I, I, somebody else is going to have to start talking on this episode. No way. No way. I've never seen loss. Are they having sex a lot? Never. No, but I feel like, I feel like it's like whenever I'm on a plane, I'm like, all right, if this plane goes down, who am I going to fuck first? But maybe not everyone thinks that way.

But I always wondered like- I think airports in general are a horny place. I think there's like that joke of like, I saw like the love of my life in the airport for two seconds. I think that's definitely- I think also, I don't know if it's law, like guys get boners on planes a lot. Yeah. So there's just, it's just a, yeah, ladies, you might not even know, but you on planes a lot. Yeah, so there's just it's just a ladies. You might not even know but you're on a plane

You are in a danger Everyone's like boy. I am fucking you're doing it all the guys are doing till like this plane goes down Let's go know we're all in the same page I'm ready. I'm ready. Well, it's got nowhere on the same page. But yeah, okay. So I guess I guess for guys it's it's always been there. But I just wonder if like the you know, like your plane crash came from from lost originally. But maybe not. I also know like the altitude makes you more emotional. Is that okay? So that's why you cry. That's why you get horny. Yeah.

Maybe that's why air travel, which I actually don't think it sounds like it sounds like something that somebody came up like a four-edian thing Where it's like we all get fucking brigs up Captain says all right. We're all really hard right now Trust me you guys may not believe it, but scientifically Trust me, you guys may not believe it, but scientifically... I just had the pilot just came over and was like, scientifically, one of the three people you're sitting next to have an erection right now. Everyone just starts pats like... That would be really funny.

Trust and believe. Um, there, oh, there should be an Instagram feature where if you post a story, it automatically mutes it from anyone who you haven't texted back. Great one. Right? Great one. Because I'd like the, when you want to go post something, that's your reminder of like, I'm going to answer those five people. Oh, I see what you're saying.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then someone's like, all right, save the fucking dinner that I just had until I text everyone back, and then it just becomes a chore. And I'm just like, I'm just not going to story. And then I just never text anyone back. This is a fun look into Jackie's brain. Are you looking to score lottery tickets?

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whatever day you're listening to this, ah, July 25th, Happy Gilmore returns. After 29 years, Adam Sandler brings his iconic and beloved character back to the green. The premiere was last night, so a bunch of the Boston Bruins were there. Obviously, Happy Gilmore and the Boston Bruins are an iconic match.

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2, available only on Netflix. There should, I don't, how was nobody figured out just like, is there some kind of magnet that you could just scan that fakes Apple Pay? Like does Apple Pay is actually going into your account at the moment and being like, yep, you have an account attached to this. Or if I just like figure out a magnet, whatever magnet is in here and just kind of like

scan that. Can I cheat the system? Credit card fraud. Credit card fraud. But it would be- Has Apple thought of that? I'll just use a magnet. How is this not your answer to what you do if you were homeless? You could find a magnet and be the richest person alive. But then I got to find the magnet and everyone's known me as the crack person. Jackie, I'm picturing you at the turnstile on the subway with a double A. Like, come on. You're like, magnet? Magnate?

Probably where it comes from. It's just one of those like fake like shoe worn magnets. I read a book about a homeless guy in Boston called like, I think it was called Another Bullshit Night in Suck City or something like that. Whoa, it sounds like, you know, your dream ever since you were seven. You really got like your dream. But he said in the, he was talking about how like homeless guys, they, they'll find like hotel room keys, anything like that. Yeah, because that can get you into the

ATM like kiosk at a bank Oh, and you can just sleep in there so like that man like because that magnet I think isn't charging your card It's just making sure you're putting a card in that you can use any kind of card with a magnet to get into there But I think if they're gonna take money from you there, they're looking at a little more than just a magnet. I'm not sure, though. And they wouldn't tell us. We'll write a letter to the homeless guy who wrote this.

Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to try. Hey, just so you're aware, Jackie says that probably wouldn't work. No, but I'm saying, like, I don't think that. Also, like, in terms of credit card fraud, it's not attached to a credit card. I'm not fraudulating.

Yeah. Whatever you know what I'm trying to say, but I'm not like fraud-ing any credit cards. I'm just using a little magnet. And I'm putting it over the scanner and there's nothing attached to my name, there's nothing attached to my number. You's nothing attached to my number you fucking try and come find me I look You might be right. I have no idea if this magnet Um, I'm pretty sure 99.9999 this that cannot work

It would be great immediately if there's no money in your accounts you get declined with that Yeah, it wouldn't even say decline. It would be like, this is a fucking magnet. Yeah, this is a magnet. One of my friends in college used a Venmo card at the bar every single night at the same bar that we would go to. And it had no money on it. And he's just like, it just keeps working. And then like a week before we graduated, they like called them. They're like, you're going to have to come down here with X amount of dollars or the cops will show up at your apartment tonight.

And he just came down there and paid it all off. Oh, fuck. But for a full semester, he got free drinks until the end. When I was in college, I might even been like, I was that age. I might not have technically been in college anymore. But I didn't have any fucking money. And those like the gift cards were becoming popular. But they looked like, when they first kind of came

on the scene, they looked like credit cards. They just looked like regular credit cards. And I would go to bars with like $3 on a gift card. And I'd be like, open a tab. Be like, drinks for all my friends and I would just leave. I feel very scummy about it but I did it. Did you ever get like caught? No I mean I didn't do it like a hundred times I did it five to ten times but um I also feel like kind of I would always do it at fucking what is it what was Whiskey Priest in Southie oh bar went under can't imagine why

I feel like I'm kind of the same way that you think like you can just charge it to a hotel room I always feel like if I'm just like put it on Derek's card there's gotta be so many there or John put it on John's card put it on John there's gonna be a John there's gonna be a John there. There's gonna be a John there, trust and believe. There's gonna be a John there. Um, New York, New York? Why don't they call it Nye Nye? Like they call, like they call La La Land, like you know? Why have I never heard of Nye Nye? Yeah, I love Nye Nye. Next one.

No, honestly, I wanna hate it, and the more you say it, I'm like, well it's not so bad. Right? I think more you say it, I'm like, well, it's not so bad. Right? I think that you should direct, you know how like La La Land is like, it's a love story, but it's also like kinda showcasing LA. I think that you should direct La La Land, but New York style. Almost like maybe put some mascots in it.

That's what I'm saying. I think Pabbs might have done that. Maybe put Cookie Monster and Elmo in it. Yeah, that's a good point. You didn't think that? No, I didn't think that at all. Might have done that Worked really hard on like the last year doing a show Shout out mascots shout out trailer that just shot the trailer just dropped. You've probably seen it if you're listening to this. I hope there's a KFC radio fan who just hates mascots. I fucking, I just assume people who like KFC radio like mascots. I think there's also the possibility that people don't like it. I don't think so. You guys should switch it to 9i. 9i? 9i land. Maybe we'll have Marlon call it 9i. I'll say this, Jackie you've So have you guys should switch it tonight nine nine nine nine eight nine eight?

Maybe maybe we'll have Marlon call it nine. I yeah I'll say this Jackie you've used a couple of lines that I've gone To work when I was like, you know what Jackie was I just say really funny work when I was like you know Jackie was I just say really funny I don't hear anything cuz I'm just thinking about myself I don't know if the cake is actually a lasagna. Yeah, yeah, yeah, wow. That's accurate. This is just like, okay, you know what like anxiety, they kind of say like, it's like, oh, when you were chasing bears, it was, you know, or when bears were chasing you, it's

like to get rid of everyone. I don't really have a name. It's like to get rid of Just like I fucking it's like I feel like my anxiety when I'm talking to someone when I want on this podcast It's just like I fucking promise you a bears not in the room right now. Like why am I anxious? What is the bear thing? No, it's like anxiety supposed to happen because like when in hunting and gathering days like a bear was supposed to come Or if a bear comes and like your anxiety peaks so you know it'll run. Okay.

And it's, I mean, it's not like a deep thought but just like this to me, it's signaling in my brain as a bear. I fucking promise you that's not a bear. Why can't I just tell my brain that? Where does the big apple come from? Why? I don't know.

I believe that the main like produce of New York is apples. Oh. Is that true? I'm going to guess. I'm happy that this is up. This is kind of a separate etymology thing. We filmed a scene in Brooklyn the other day. And we were taking an Uber out there.

And we drove by the Marcy Ave playground or the Marcy playground stop or the Marcy Ave stop which is where Jay-Z's from. Yeah. And I did not know this. Do you know what two subway lines stopped there? Jay and the Z. The Jay and the Z. No way. And I was like oh I guess that's probably where it comes. I don't know. You didn't look it up. I didn't look it up, no. Wow, that's really crazy. Wait, you should definitely look that up. Big Apple. I texted Kevin about it.

Kevin said his name was Jazzy. And there's also something where there's like a connection to a mentor of his or something like that. But then, yes, also the J and the Z lines. Doesn't really have a great answer. The Big Apple was popularized as a name or New York City in a number of horse racing articles from the New York Morning Telegraph.

If you're gonna call it the Big Apple, you gotta have a great, you gotta have a great. Right? Yeah. Like not only like are you saying Apple, you're like doubling down and being like the big apple. It's like kind of like pretty small. Yeah.

For a state. I feel like every guy has a friend named Cheech or Gooch. That's crazy. I have a Cheech and a Gooch. Dude, I'm, I. I got a Cheech and a Gooch. That's crazy. Do you guys have Cheech and a Gooch?

Yeah. Oh, we're good. Wow. That's crazy. Do you guys have a Gooch? Wow. Jack's like, no. I got two Gooches and one Cheech. Two Gooches and one Cheech? Two Gooches and one Cheech, yeah. Wait, wait, it's a Gooch and a what?

Is it Cheech or Chooch? Cheech. Cheech, I have a Chooch. I'll count that. Chooch or Gooch. I don't think I have a Cheech. Also Coochie. Coochie? Yeah, I feel like I always like. I got no Choochoo, gooch. I don't think I have a cheech. Also coochie. Coochie?

Yeah, I feel like I always like... I got no coochie. I know coochie. You know coochie? Actually my friends and I all started calling him coochie and he was like, can you please stop calling me that in front of my boys? Sorry. Yeah, cheech, cooch or coochie.

That's crazy. Football coach face is there's a very specific, like male face that looks similar to Eric Taylor. It's like the eyes are like, it almost looks like he has like a little bit of like white eyeliner or something or this there's. Eyebrows are dominant. Yeah. I don't know exactly exactly it's almost just like his it's like the George Bush face like George Bush something about his eyes he is George Bush has football coach face anyways I

was I was flirting with the hot dad with football coach face on a plane one day things lost dream is Coach Taylor. Yeah. I have a buddy who looks- Except I have a weird thing with coaches. I have a buddy who looks just like Coach Taylor, but not like Kyle Chandler, just like Coach Taylor, which is very weird.

I think it's because he wears that style sunglass and wears a football coach jacket a lot. Yeah. Like that blue jacket he's always wearing. Coach Taylor. Yeah, you know like that that blue jacket. He's always wearing Coach yeah I can see The blue the one that you have yeah, oh yeah, I do have that jacket. Yeah, no, but you know what I gave it to him Oh, really? I gave it to him. I was like you look too much I gave it to him. I was like you look too much like Coach Taylor. Who are you talking about?

It's actually my godson's father. Okay. I kind of feel like Sam Martin looks like Eric Taylor. Yeah, it's the same genre. I can see that. Yeah, he was a young Coach Taylor. You know how he got the job? He showed up hungover and didn't know anything about football.

Coach Taylor? Yeah. Really? Kyle Chandler showed up to the audition, hung over on a motorcycle and him and Peterburg were just like, let's go get beers and they went and got beers and then I think Kyle

Chandler still says the only the only prep he did for the book or only the only prep he did for the role was he read Bill Belichick's book. That's all he knows about football. Wow. Which surprised me because I think he's from Georgia. It

just seems like you would know a little bit about it. I think he went to UGA too. Who do you think Coach Taylor's favorite was? Like if you were to like, if everyone else were to, he could only save one life. Tim. Yeah, I think so, right? I think Tim needed the most saving. I looked up on chat WT and it said, who's the Paralyzed guy? Jason Street. Jason Street. He said Jason Street and I was kind of like, I think he's more fond of Tim. I still think I think Tim needed more saving than even Jason Street needed Yeah, so ever everyone had like uh, I think coach Taylor knew That everyone else had a support system and Tim didn't yeah, and he was like I care about this kid a lot the scene when he brings back

fucking What's the daughter's name? Julie Julie when he brings back Julie when she's shit-faced Yeah, coach Taylor catches him and thinks he's like trying to bang her screams out and tell him to get the fuck out of the house Yeah, and then finds out what actually happened and goes to apologize to him. Yeah that apology. You're like, that's his favorite. Yeah Oh my god when the tornado happens and Tim like covers her As I say that the Saracen when Saracen's dad dies and he throws the Saracen into the shower Yeah, he cares quite a bit about Saracen. Yeah, but I don't think but there's like a little bit of like a lack of respect for Saracen

I don't know like what was that? I thought you were looking down the barrel of the camera like that. I think Tim Riggins is the answer. That's I mean I have there's random ones but shallots shallots look like ball sacks. Shallots they do. That's in there. Wait they look like ball sacks or one ball? Ball sacks because there's like there's two of them like pull up a shallot. I mean technically like it's oh it's, I think that's more one ball.

Yeah, I guess that's one ball. But like, do you ever see like two shallots stuck together? Yeah, I know. I know what you're talking about. Yeah. But yeah, it doesn't exactly get tested. Wow. It's not even like a good picture of like a double shallot, but double shell.

Seriously. What the fuck would nights do? Would nights do like in the fuck would Knights do? Would Knights do like in the sweltering heat? What would Knights do in the sweltering heat? Yeah. I imagine it'd be quite hot. But also like it's one of those things too where I think like you don't really understand

when you're looking at clothes from other cultures Like how they're like when I look at people from the Middle East I'm like, oh my god That must be so hot. But like all that stuff is designed to have wind flow and stuff like that It's not hot at all. It's like they're like linen Sheets or drapes or whatever you call it and I would imagine with chainmail and Like it was probably hot as fuck, but they thought of it They're like there was some kind of process of being like well, it's gonna get hot as fuck in here So we have to use this material. I Guess but if you if you give say that I have to put on a layer of chain mail

and like a tin I Mean you're essentially a big potato. It is a conductor. You're wearing it. It's a conductor. Yeah. And in a 100 degree, feels like a 100 degree day. But weren't like nights,

where are nights mainly based out of? Yeah, in like the UK. Yeah, so it's usually pretty chilly over there. Yeah, but it gets hot. It does get hot. It gets hot. I'm sure that they're all like, we're canceling the fight. Yeah. Or like do they just go? If one guy stepped outside, that they're all over canceling the fight. Yeah.

One guy stepped outside. It feels like we're canning. That feels like we're not fighting. That was like a good like they would do it for holidays. They wouldn't fight like during Christmas. Yeah. Like George Washington crossing the Delaware was because it was Christmas and they knew the British should be sleeping. Cheap. And they were like, let's just fucking kill them.

Let's just break through. I guess when you're fighting for freedom. Yeah. What was the one? I forget what war it was during Gulf War maybe where like they all stopped it was because like Pele was playing Yeah, yeah, that's right. That's right. Yeah, like everyone stopped to just like to watch pay that's I think that we got pay lays number one now. I didn't know that. Yeah The Yeah, yeah, if you gave you stop the war, stop the war. Yeah, you you're the coolest. Would that happen now? No. I don't think there's anybody.

As Nigerian Civil War, I thought it was a war we were involved in. Either way, stopped the war. Yeah. Not to bring up my soccer coach again. He he was like, he was born in Bosnia and he, there was like a genocide at the time. He escaped, he like was trying to escape Bosnia and was like making out with his family. And then at one point, like, I don't know much about the Bosnian War, but whoever was like the equivalent of the Nazis or whatever at the time had like stopped, like found him and his family trying to run

and then had them all lined up against, like to shoot them and kill them. And then like, but was going through their stuff and like found the guy who was gonna shoot them found that he like actually had gone to college with the dad, my soccer coach's dad, or something like this. Again, I don't know the exact story,

but it was along the lines of this. And then was like, I would never do this, but you guys can run. And then, but like kept the parents there and let the kids run. And so then him and his sister fled to America and then he raised his sister for like two years before the parents could come meet him isn't that crazy

yeah isn't it crazy that a guy who had so much valid hate in his heart didn't have any until he met you like the nicest guy ever He's been through so much he's kept it all in and then you couldn't make a fucking crossfield pass Yes, you can imagine why I was kind of like Just bottled it all up until one day. This fucking girl can't make one pass! Well, thank you for bringing up that point. You are worse than the Bosnian genocide.

I fucking wish they killed me back then! Oh, god. that was funny. Yeah, alright, is it funny? I thought it was funny. I thought you were on fire today. I don't think you missed once. This is the Jackie highlight reel, I was just saying. Steve, cut.

I'm definitely making a clip where it's literally just everything you say. The response is just every question you ask. Does anybody, what else? I got a question for you guys. What job do you think you'd be worst at? Oh, good question. Anything, I was gonna say anything that aggravates a gag reflex, I was thinking more aroma,

but I suppose it could be everything I've wanted to do since I was seven. Exactly. My dream date, cute. Who knows that? Yeah, anything where like I would, anything that would make me, like I'm, I'm, I'm. Like a prostitute.

A prostitute. No, no, I was thinking, God no. I was thinking. But like, if you have a baggy, I guess that's good. You don't, you can have a gag reflex. You're talking about smelling anything? Yeah, it smells. Oh sorry, I was talking. But like, if you have a bad gag, I guess that's good. You can have a gag reflex. You're talking about smelling anything? Yeah, smelling something bad. Oh, sorry, I was talking about gag reflex.

No, I was- Internet Explorer. Yeah, as I was thinking, I was like, damn, well this is, but yes, I would have said something like, clean in sewers or anything like in plumbing. But also, like, I mean, you get used to everything. Yeah. Like, so. Yeah. I don't know, mean you get used to everything. Yeah, like so Yeah, I know I get used to eventually probably I

Would say anything where you have to use your brain heavily probably I actually tell me landed here That's how all of us got here I Took a linguistics class in college And I actually did the best in the class and my teacher was kind of like you're kind of crushing this and I was like so is linguistics my calling? I can see that. Really? Yeah. Thanks. I don't know what to do with that information but if this doesn't go down I guess I'll get into linguistics. Have you ever seen Arrival? No. Awesome movie. Yeah.

About linguistics. Yeah, it's kind of like coding, honestly. Yeah, yeah, I can see why you're good at that. Okay, are we done? What would you guys say for a job you're worse at? Oh, shit, I'm sorry, yeah. Club promoter. That'd be the worst in the world.

Club promoter? Having to convince people to go convince people to do to go somewhere or to do something. I'd be like you can come if you want. Yeah. It's optional for sure. But that's my main job is to make sure I'm getting asses in seats somewhere. No way. That would be terrible. And then you got to be social. You can just look at KFC Radio live shows. That's true. You guys literally had to post like three times and you're like I can't fucking do it. I'm done doing it. I do not care.

Like it was like, again, like leaving money on the table. It's like, I don't care. I would rather not have people there than have to tweet, which is so weird and so insane. But in like my biggest thing is like I will never when I know something's going to be a mediocre time, but I want people to come. I'll never be like, it's going to be a blast. Like it's probably going to be all right. You'll have a five out of 10 good time. I'd people to come I'll never be like it's gonna be a blast like it's probably gonna be alright you'll have a five out of ten good time I'd rather have them I don't want anyone there who doesn't want to be

there like oh if you want to come come if you don't want to come don't come yeah that's what I would say is the club you'll have an okay time yeah it's kind of like if like I'm going out with friends and they're like like jacket decided on bar I'm like well I don't don't the worst I don't wanna or like should we go out tonight? Should we not go out tonight? They're like decide I don't want to be responsible for your bad night, and I don't want that smoke on me. So like I Yeah, that's yeah, yeah I get that I wouldn't be the worst. Yeah, what would you guys say? I get that. I wouldn't be the worst. Yeah. What would you guys say?

Probably like a cab driver. I'm bad at small talk and don't have my license You don't have to I think like that's kind of the whole point It's like if you're a cab driver in California, like you'd probably have to small talk Be okay. The license is obviously like gonna be an issue The small talk you you also are you that you're great at small talk. Yeah. Yeah, we small talk every morning Yeah, well, I feel like I've had so many lovely conversations with you Steve Like most of them And what would you say? Like most of them. Yeah, that's a very fair answer.

Almost all of them. Everyone I think of, I'm like, that could be an answer. That could be an answer. Anything where I'm like, man, any of those jobs you hear about that business students do that just sound fake, like I don't understand anything. Like, what the hell is like any finance job? I don't know the difference.

They're all just as fake as this job. But this job, this job feels like it's fake in that it's and anything, like what the hell is any finance job? I don't know the difference between any of those. They're all just as fake as this job. But this job feels like it's fake in that it's kind of easy or whatever, easy. But those are fake in that I don't feel like you're, I don't understand what you're doing. I know what I'm doing all day. It might be like feel fake or whatever.

There's like five jobs. Every other job is fake. I know. Yeah. But with banking and all that stuff, it's like, but what? We don't need all of you. No, we don't. That's the point. And why do you people have to work from 5 a.m. to 10 p.m.? Are you sure the stock market can't just close?

Are you sure we can't just go to bed? Yeah. I'm like, I get that it's like you're loaning money. I get the print but like what I guess that was stupid I guess the stock market does close doesn't it and then every day we name name the five real jobs I think I got five real jobs would be president doctor cop

lawyer Construction worker I was gonna go garbage man Okay, but they kind of fall under the same so with the five real jobs Then there are other offshoots of that like cop that I'm counting soldier I'm counting like firefighter firefighter like but like that you're essentially a cop. Yeah, and then president is like a there's Politician whatever but if you don't have one of those five jobs, you don't have a real job. Yeah. Because society will be fine without you. Yeah. I also was going through, I guess, honestly, I just said society fine without you.

I guess I would include artists. Because society wouldn't be fine without you if like you didn't have musicians and fucking stars are more important than investment bankers. I agree with that. Oh, hardly. I don't know how to back that up Yeah, I also was going through old clips the other day and Noted that one of the things one of your promises is that nobody's ever gonna see your butthole Recently you've been I get yeah, I get dressed very daintfully

I'm gonna read this list one day like to like a big group of people if we're like celebrating you or at your funeral Do I permission to get up and turn? And you have to you have to say well how many of those I succeeded Yeah, yeah. Do I have permission to get up and turn on the microphone? Of course, yeah. It's all vivid. It's like never. And you have to say how many of those I succeeded on. Yeah. So far, I mean, have we broken any? Oh, well, yeah, we got close to the tornado. The tornado.

The tornado was one time where I was going, man, I got to stop making these promises. I was pretty sure we were dying in that tornado. I kind of feel like you're plowing your way through this list. Never be homeless Never get horny in a rage room Yeah, no never go home in a rage room never let anyone see your butt one like for any guys like guys actually

Do whatever we like I the only problem the only way I can keep that promise is if we never go to a rage room But you were in a rage room for an hour, statistically I'm probably gonna get horny. Why did that come up? Because like your people say that ragers horn you? I have no idea where that came from. I don't know why I would say something like that. That's most things I say. Okay, Una, do you have a list? I mean everything I have from the last like 24 hours literally pales in comparison to everything Jackie said. Like there was an influencer who's been swimming a bunch in this beach in Cape Town in South Africa.

And she posts it and she's like, my favorite beach. And it just wasn't getting traction. So no one was like seeing it and saying what was wrong with it. She's like, I don't know why it's his not to swim here. She's just swimming like in Cape Town. There's just a beach where they just put out all the shit and she swims and posts videos of her like coming out

of the water with like foam on her face. And it's like literally like feces and stuff. So that's, can you look it up? I just, you just have to, the visual makes it. Is it true that like the, the sea foam is like whale sperm? No chance. Maybe, maybe. I mean that's a lot of sperm.

That certainly sounds like something that. I think it's like, throw up whale sperm. No chance. Maybe, maybe. That's a lot of sperm. That certainly sounds like something. I think it's like f***ed up whale sperm. No, I don't think the New York Times put influencer. I just saw whatever you just clicked brought up a picture RFK. What is Maha? Make America healthy again. Make America healthy again. Okay. I assumed it was something. And like she has so many videos like this where she's like a beautiful day and she's just been posting it and no one knew until it blew up and now everyone's like, that's shit. That is disgusting. And you see there's other angles I've seen where there's these huge- Oh, goodness gracious me.

There's these huge pipes just shooting the water out like it's aggressive. Oh my god. That's the job I'd be worse oh my god. There's these huge pipes just like shooting the water out like it's aggressive. Oh my god. That's the job I'd be worse that. Yeah. That's hilarious. Influencers swimming in feces. Feces. Um alright. Anything else? Um no. Joey Chesnut on

Barstool After Dark. I'm pissed he wasn't on KFC to do the hot dog race first. He did it with Marty. He beat Marty. So actually that is a good thing to bring up. I have flipped my answer. I have always said it was Joey Chestnut would beat Usain Bolt. I know. I know.

Chestnut beat Marty. Oh yeah. But Marty was close enough that, you know what, I think Usain Bolt would win that race. Easily. I'm so glad you came around though are they were they at the game doing this oh okay that makes a lot more sense I remember seeing clips I think are they just in the crowd puking all over the place Joey Chesnett was pissed about the puking do you guys see really he said it was he said puking during a

drinking and eating contest represented the downfall of America. Talking about that event he goes, this is the downfall of America. Um, I can, I guess I can see Joey, that's the point of drinking and eating contest. I know. I'm like, I'm like, you, you think that's all classy, like drinking contests. He had 20 beers, which I guess, I don't know, I didn't picture Joey Chestnut as one that could put down drinks too. Oh, no?

Of course he can. I didn't. I didn't. I didn't picture Joey Chestnut as a mass consumer either. I don't know. I thought he had one lane. All right, that's it. That's the episode.

We'll be back on Monday. Joseph, how'd we do? It was an amazing and great time. Amazing, great time. Thank you very much. I'm going to go ahead and put this on. So I'm going to go ahead and put this in the fridge for a few minutes. Thanks for watching!