KFC Radio - We React to Cringey Barstool HQ Intruders Ft. Kumail Nanjiani

Episode Date: December 13, 2022

- Feits has another stupid hat that makes him look like Paddington Bear - Fiets “wet the bed… and like really wet the bed - Colleen won the Barstool Steps Challenge even though there were cheaters - Barstool DVR: White Lotus, Wednesday, Holidate, Happiest Season, Sex Lives of College Girls - Rob Mcelhenney met the King and Hal Steinbrenner met the Pope - Dave Chappelle brought out Elon Musk and the crowd boo’d - Brittany Griner got released and people aren’t happy - Super cringey intruders invade Barstool HQ and start a fight - Shane Gillis crashed our company meeting/party - Gapè Glove Gate - Jackie vs Pavs - Pavs had something really gross happen to him - Video Voicemails - Kumail Nanjiani Interview ++++++++++++++++++++ Timecodes: 0:00 - Feits has another stupid hat 9:50 - Fiets wet the bed 28:07 - Colleen won the steps challenge 35:56 - Barstool DVR: White Lotus, Wednesday, and Holiday movies 01:02:07 - Rob Mcelhenney met the King and Hal Steinbrenner met the Pope 01:07:22 - Dave Chappelle brought out Elon Musk and the crowd boo’d 01:20:21 - Brittany Griner released 01:33:11 - Barstool intruders come into Barstool HQ and start a fight 01:41:20 - Shane Gillis came to our company party 01:52:07 - Gapè Glove Gate - Jackie vs Pavs 01:57:14 - Pavs had something really gross happen to him 02:07:10 - Video Voicemails 02:22:18 - Kumail Nanjiani Interview +++++++++++++++++++++ Gametime: Download the Gametime app and redeem code KFC for $20 off your first purchase (terms apply). MVMT: Join the MVMT at https://barstool.link/MvmtKFC Mugsy: Go to https://barstool.link/Mugsy and use code KFC for 10% off your order Allbirds: Discover your perfect pair at https://barstool.link/AllbirdsBSS Beard Guyz: Craft your beard care routine today at https://barstool.link/BeardguyzBSSYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. This is a great episode. I'm really enjoying this one. I mean, not a non-fiction, but whatever. This is really good. It's another edition of KFC Radio on the Barstool Sports Network. We have been doing this for 10 plus years now. If you listened to our interview with Hank yesterday,

two days ago. I think that's a good interview. I think people would like that one. If you haven't listened to it, go listen to it after this one. We reminisced and we told stories and we remembered. Not interview. I don't like to use that word with like barstool guests.

Good conversation. Yeah. And we talked about a lot of like, you know, the old days and comparing and all that. But never in the history of Barstool has there been a fit like this on John. Let me tell you something, fellas. Fellas! I. I've got the craziest outfit in the room.

I was putting together my outfit in the shower this morning because I bought this hat this weekend. And his hat's ridiculous. I understand his hat's ridiculous. You got purple starfished. To an extent. I do think I do like it. It's unique.

And it is like, I do think I pull it off. See, this began when you wore your mother's bucket hat. Yeah. You started wearing your mom's underpants, and the next thing you know, you're fucking wearing ladies' underwear. You wore your mom's hat over the summer, right? Yeah. And you were like, this is kind of actually...

I was like, I kind of wear my mom's gardening hat. The next thing you know... I don't know if it's technically a bucket hat. It's definitely a bucket hat. Family? Well, yeah, yeah. I mean, it's a hat made of denim jeans. Did you see the comment on Twitter?

Someone said you look like Paddington if he were a lesbian. I knew. I knew I looked like Paddington. In fact, I went out of my way to. It's the Paddington hat. What about that? In the shower this morning, I was like, I'm going to wear white pants, and then I'll wear my tan jacket, and I'll have that hat.

I was like, I want something to spice it up. I'll wear a colorful sweater. I'll have that hat. I was like, I want something like sparse enough to like, I'll wear like a colorful sweater. And I knew. And the white and green loafers. And the white and green loafers, yeah. I just,

I don't know man, I felt like dressing pretty today. You came through the door. What were you eating? Like an apple or something? No, I was eating beef jerky. Oh.

You were eating food, you had your shades on, your jacket on. Because I had my hands full of food. But you fucking kicked in the door i was in the middle of like a business conversation i was like oh and for me at this point in the game to be astounded by one of your fits is that's when you know you are bringing it that's like you've been married for you know like 25 years and and and she tries to spice it up yeah exactly oh baby

the spark is back tell the people where this came from it is from a um you got you got bamboozled i didn't get bamboozled i like this hat you got bullied i got i got uh i wouldn't say i can't i can't think of the proper word for it because i know it's just like anyone else would be like you know i want or I don't want it I do like the hat I'll probably wear it Five times in my life Although now

I'm gonna wear it all fucking time Cause now it's a thing That's the beauty of this It's like Look at my Funny bit that I'm doing Now I can just wear my hat That I won't wear

I was shopping at a pop up shop This weekend And it was like A vintage Like If this doesn't Compare Like Explain the two personalities On the show You know It was like a vintage If this doesn't compare explain the two personalities

on the show. It was like a vintage It was a vintage pop shop but it wasn't of like It's a fashion designer who was just selling his own old vintage clothes. Got it. So it wasn't like vintage

rock and roll t-shirts and stuff like that. It was like these are old clothes I designed I'm getting rid of them yeah and uh he also designs like stuff like this now but he did like i bought some fucking dope ass shit that he was making like the 70s 80s french leather jackets bro um and chevron yeah i got some um i asked how to pronounce it. But it was very soft leather. It's a very soft leather. And then as I was checking out, he popped this on me. He's like, I feel like you could pull this off.

And I looked at my friends, and they were like, I don't know. You do. You are on that level. I remember watching that James Corden, Justin Bieber clip. Remember that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. James Corden did a clip clip. Remember that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. James Corden did a clip, a segment with Justin Bieber

where they went to one of these type stores John was describing. By the way, obviously you have to be watching this episode on YouTube. Just stop and go over. You have to see it. And Bieber...

I put a jacket on this, too. It wasn't so hot in here. I'll put it on for a second. Yeah, give the people the full fit. And the shades. And the shades. The shades really make it, to be honest. The shades and the hat.

It looks like there's some sort of... I said Big Daddy, but it's not. There's some show... There's some show where a kid... I think it's a... Maybe it's one of the... There's many scenes throughout Hollywood where kids sit on each other's shoulders

and then wear a trench coat And it looks like kids doing that I can't remember which one Whether it's like Stranger Things Little Rascals Whatever it was Eat the candy while you're at it Yeah

What was I gonna say He just shoves 35 twisty snakes In his fucking mouth what was I going to say? I totally thought he just shoves 35 twisty snakes in his fucking mouth. Fuck, I just totally lost my train of thought. Talk about the Corden clip. The Corden clip.

So Bieber, the whole idea is like the other person picks the clothes for the other guy and so Corden tries to fuck with Bieber and pick the stupidest things. And Biebs walks out of the room and struts the way he struts. And Corden's like, it fucking works. You're making it work. And I can't tell because you make it work.

But I can't tell if that's the chicken or the egg. I mean, I talked about this before many times it's just like if i were to come in wearing that it would not work but that's just because people have a certain expectation of me versus the expectation of you and how it's also on top of like how you fill it out and how you wear it and stuff but just like you close your eyes what do you think he's gonna be wearing you open your eyes what is he wearing yeah like it kind of works whereas other people it's like nope that that you just look like an asshole the this is something that's been happening my entire life like i was in like second grade getting made fun of for the clothes i wore right and it was i don't know i was just like i just i just dressed

to a certain aesthetic what happened where you went from the john steals every photograph you're in john lights up the room He's the guy Was it the rape? Was it the constant sexual abuse stories? What? What the heck? I was the victim I was the victim

That's what I meant That's what I mean That's what I mean Was it You know When did it shift to You know like Suicide watch

I don't know. It would be when depression set in. I don't know what caused the depression. But it would be depression that really ruined me. On account of the depression. You said that once in a show, in an episode. On account of the depression. To me, it's our, because of the implication.

On account of the depression. Anyway, I would kill to be one of the people who dress like you. Can I tell you something else, though? We got to do a fit switch one day, which really doesn't mean anything, because you'll just wear jeans and a hoodie. But I just got to dress. It's more like, let's all. Yeah, we fit switch a lot.

There are plenty of days I just dress. Yeah, yeah. But let's just do everybody dress like John for a day. You already kind of do it, but for the rest of us, we all have to dress like you. Okay. I'm fine with it. You know what we should do? Let's do a final con.

Let's do final con. It'll start with just us. Into the final verse. And then like 10 years from now, it'll be. Actually, if we could get. Let's do a Final Con with us and like one of his doppelgangers and then over the years

I saw one just in the wild the other day of course I was just like ah fuck another one I wanted to like sneak a picture but I was just walking down 7th

and I was like I can't just run up to this guy and be like oh fuck that I'd be like hey Final Con whatever I should have done that

I figured I'd run into another soon if we could get that girl from Illinois to come on the show. If we could get, oh, man, we'll have Fiddle Khan one day, and everybody has to dress like him. No, we won't. Yeah, no, we won't, but it's a great idea. I like the idea. I love the idea.

We will have her do it. Francesa Khan was one of the funnest things I've ever done. It was so nerdy. The first one. Then it got, like, bastardized and turned into this whole big Khan thing, you know, like where it was. That would be fun. Rent out a bar. They did it. The good one was Then it got bastardized and turned into this whole big con thing. That would be fun, rent out a bar. They did it. The good one was, I think.

Oh, well, the good one we did was at Saloon. By the time it got to Irving Plaza, it was like that. Yeah, right. But, yeah, if we did a bar and you just dress like, you know, like Final Breath. It would have to be in the winter. Definitely. That's when you get the fits on. I'm not doing my fucking summer fits.

No, come on. Sweatshirts. And if we could get a couple of the doppelgangers to come through. And then one day, like 10 years from now, we get the guy from Germany to fly in, the Durex Connum guy from Germany. And he's the icing on the cake for Final Con. Imagine that.

We're like, introducing the Durex Connum guy. And the crowd goes fucking wild final con put it on your calendar to never be done i swear to god all the ideas we've had we'd be the biggest thing on the internet yeah yeah that would be a fun one instead we just stay right in the middle never doing it um the buying this hat though was the uh i guess you could probably make the argument is the second most ridiculous thing I did this weekend. Oh, boy. I wet the bed.

You wet? Not drop alcohol in me. Not drop alcohol in me. Look at her face. I love it. I always lean over to check Jackie. I always check Jackie's disgust level. We need another idea here.

I need just a smiley face and then a disgust face, and you need a meter that goes up and down. So Friday night – Let me just say this before you – I can explain myself, by the way. Let me just say this before you do it. I am eternally grateful for you as a podcast co-host for your unwavering ability and desire to always just tell the truth and tell the stories. You don't have to tell all of that.

I can't tell this one, man. I'm a 34-year-old man who just wet the bed sober. That's not a little bit interesting. And that's why I thank you from the bottom of my heart. You know what? The amount of things, this is another good thing, just for all you listeners out there.

Anybody who ever wants to criticize a podcast or a podcaster, just think of all the things you bury deep in your black box of stories you don't tell people. Think about all the stories the podcasters do tell. Because anybody else who pisses the bed at 34 sober ain't telling anybody, let alone the whole fucking world. Away on a weekend with his friends who have kids and shit.

Everybody was pissing the bed, so I joined in. I got a... Do tell. So Friday night, I didn't sleep at all. I honestly don't know if I technically slept Friday night. It was just like, I was tossing, turning, I didn't feel good all. I honestly don't know if I technically slept Friday night. It was just like I was tossing, turning. I didn't feel good. It was all the same. Well, you know what the worst is?

When the sky starts to turn blue from black to blue. Oh, yeah. And you're like, here we go. It's morning. And you're on vacation with kids and you hear the babies talking. And you're like, all right, I'm just going to go outside and play with trucks now. It's the worst. And so Saturday, I was like, we're having a good time and stuff like that.

It was raining. We were at Mother's Vineyard. It was rainy. So we were watching soccer. We didn't really do all that much. But I was like, I need to sleep tonight. If I don't sleep tonight, then it's going to be. I was thinking there was a problem with the room.

I didn't know. I was like, if I don't sleep tonight. It is. There's a problem with the you. Not the room. And it is. I've always told you how I. So I decided, I have to sleep tonight.

There is nothing that can stop me from sleeping. So I went to, I drove to a pharmacy and I got melatonin. And I've told you before. Mellies will zonk and you will be done, dude. That I like, I don't do well with sleep medicine. I've told you about how I'll do it. I've done NyQuil twice in my life. I wake up and just a pool of sweat, like 4 p.m. the next day kind of deal.

And the one thing that I've been doing the night before, I noticed I peed a lot. In fact, I asked my friends the next morning. I was like, again, as if it was the house. I was like, you guys pissing all night? Hey, guys, this place is making you piss. Is there something about this place? What do you guys think of this place? Oh, it's a little bit drafty, sometimes a little cold.

What about, is it making you piss? Yeah. Everyone's like, no, normal piss. Normal amount of peeing going on. But so I get to, I went to the pharmacy. That is a truly ridiculous thing to ask people. I was pissing so much that it was jarring to me. It can't just be me.

It absolutely can and is you. Yeah, I got that. They told me. They made it very clear. It's you, you fucking idiot. And so I go to the pharmacy. And while I was there My friend had me pick up saline for her baby

And nasal stuff And I saw another baby medicine That Just like reinforced why I never want to have children Because it's called baby butt paste And I just I never want to know what that's for I don't ever want to know what baby butt paste is

It's just like diaper cream Just disgusting. The terminology is tough. Disgusting. Little babies are fucking animals. Butt paste sounds like something that should come out of the butt, not go onto the butt.

So I get there, and there are four. I don't know much about melatonin. There are four melatonins. See, 3 milligrams, 5 milligrams, 10 milligrams, 20 milligrams. Figure as a first-time user who's a little bit larger than average go with the five milligram yeah that's what i did went home that night i took a five milligram got in bed as i mentioned i've been peeing a lot and that was it at some point in the night I Aroused from my Nightmare

Where I was at a high school reunion Where a woman had turned into a cat And was eating me alive From the stomach She's just like The girl I went to high school with was in a cat Just destroying my guts And

And I woke up and i fucking like just kind of like stumbled like a drunkard into the wall and i got kind of like got my dad i was like all right i must be up to pee and so i go to the bathroom and you know how you scratch your ass and stuff like that so i went to scratch my ass and i was like that feels wet t-shirt all wet oh no and then i i went to touch my ass And I was like I was fucking T-shirt all wet Oh no And then I I went to touch my butt I was like

Why are my boxes all wet And then I traced it All the way back to my penis And wouldn't you know it That was My penis is all wet That was soaking wet too And I was like

What the And I was still like I was like I didn't drink Like what the fuck So I went and touched the bed And Yeah

The bed was soaking wet with piss so i got two towels and laid them down on top of the piss went back to sleep i woke up in the morning and then and again i because i went to bed earlier so it'd be like midnight so i woke up again at like.30. And went to the kitchen. The babies were up. And I asked my friends, I was like, hey, is there a washer and dryer in here? And they were like, why? And I was like, I wet the bed last night.

They were like, no. Why do you really need it? And I was like, I really wet the bed last night. I'll tell you what. The biggest problem I have with this story is you saying wet the bed I know because this is what I did dude

that's what I did like if you said you pissed yourself when I'm drunk I piss myself I wet the bed Saturday night oh man

if you piss the bed drunk you piss yourself no I wet the bed my kids say I had an accident. And I do exactly what you do. I just throw towels on and throw them back in there. But that's because that's them and not me. Bro, what, you think I was going to start doing laundry at like 4.30 in the morning?

Well, let me ask you a question. Was this a full load of piss? Full load of piss. Like you emptied the clip. Like, it would have soaked into the mattress. Like, let me tell you this, by the way. My fucking shoulder blades are a little wet. No!

Let the chopper spread kid you went from knees to shoulder blades from kneecaps to blades you were covered in piss bro it's like I fucking performed and let myself bleed out you certainly

dishonored your family I'll tell you that much yo I am speechless um okay so let's dig into this did you pee before bed yo i peed all weekend i pee non-stop it must be crushing water it must be the house i will say um you know The house Because I didn't sleep Friday night I was like This house might be haunted

And then once I went to bed I was like This place is definitely haunted It's definitely haunted Google that Haunted house is making me pee I Not good to sleep?

No I'm good The I need water I get it The One of the things That sucks about getting old Is when you...

The haunted house makes people... Oh, that's going to be like... The haunted house scared me so bad. It pissed my pants. Not like... You need like demonic possession. Well, I mean, a cat was eating you alive, so... Yeah.

Yeah, maybe you were so scared in your dream that you pissed. But there's some things when you get old that like you know about. You can't drink as much. You get too hungover. Your body aches. All these things.

But stuff like you have to go to the bathroom before. Waking up in the middle of the night to pee is an old man thing. It's good because I drink so much water. I wake up in the middle of the night to pee twice. Yeah, and that sucks, right? Is it last night? I woke up twice last night. I'm like Joe Theismann

with that Betamax for your prostate, you know? Like, that's old people shit. I'll start wearing a diaper. You will probably start wearing a diaper before you medically address your problem.

That's a fact. Oh, you think? That is adult bedwetting A concern Let's go through Some of like these Is there like a quiz This isn't factoring in

That I was on a sleeping pill I wasn't just sober sleeping Without I was sober But I wasn't You were not I was medicated Yeah you were medicated

You The mellies The mellies can hit you hard man First time ever on a melly bro I can't believe Five mellies, the mellies can hit you hard, man. First time ever on a melly, bro. I can't believe five, five mellies of melly ain't shit though, you pussy. I know, I know. I've downed like 50 milligrams before. Really?

And I think it's one of those things that actually like comes back around. It keeps you up? It wires you up, yeah, too much. Like Tiger was ambient? But man, yeah. When you hit that perfect level, there's like five minutes, probably even closer to like two or three minutes because it does work quick. Once it starts going, it works fast. But that there's like this wash over you.

Oh, God, I'm fucking tingling. Right before I did. And the problem is, it's like this is the best drug in the world. I wanted if I could just stay like this, it would be like I'm high on the perfect drug. But then you zonk out. But that, like 180 seconds right before you go to sleep on Melly. Woo, baby. Does that feel good?

Also, credit to me. I tried it again last night in my own bed. Pissed it there. No, I didn't piss it last night. No, last night we were okay. Good. And this was an Airbnb or someone's home? Airbnb.

Okay, well, then who cares? Yeah. Whatever. And this was an Airbnb or someone's home? Airbnb. Okay, well, then who cares? Yeah. Yeah, whatever. Fuck that. Is this the same group that you got COVID last year with all their kids? Yep. They must really love you. The house guests.

Two for two. You mean Feidelberg. Come on through. Melatonin use in kids include increased bed wetting or urination. Now, here's the thing. You basically are just a kid So Why would a man

Suddenly start wetting the bed Any of these medical issues Can cause bed wetting Diabetes Very possible Urinary tract infection Very possible Urinary tract stones

Probably on account Of the infection Neurological disorders Definitely neurological disorders Anatomical abnormalities. Yup. Urinary tract cancer. Prostate cancer.

Let's hope not. Prostate enlargement. Probably. Someone's poking around with that thing too much. Obstructive sleep apnea. Absolutely. Almost exclusively. It's a miracle you haven't been pissing in bed every day.

You just went like eight for ten, and the only two you missed were cancer. They don't even have sociopathy on here. Right. Got that one, too. Yeah, that's the main one. I thought the main one was always like the number one sign of psychopaths is bedwetting. When you're older.

Yeah. But that's a symptom of psychopathy, I think. Right. This is listing symptoms of wetting the bed. Right. So, yeah, I mean it is It's a miracle You've been

You've been fighting The tides Yeah This whole time Yeah Your bladder I got a prostate Fucking tight as a snare drum

Yeah your urethra Has been fucking Holding tight man It's been like Nope Nope He keep it in Hold

Now when you That's why I call my prostate William Wallace Good That's funny That's what they should do Like for those

Joe Deisman commercials Like take the super data I call my prostate Hold I call my prostate Scotland And call my girl William Wallace

Make a meme out of that William Waller. Make a meme out of that, please. Somebody meme that. When you... Don't piss the bed. When you wake up in the morning, do you rip like two minutes in front of the toilet? No, because I get up all night and do it.

How long are they at night? Are they long? I don't know. I'm 90% not confident. Yeah, you are just a fucking... I'll tell you what, when I wake up in the morning, it's fucking everywhere, though.

The fence? Nighttime, John. Don't care about no targets. Oh, you mean at the toilet, though? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, it's all over the seat.

You know what that is? You ever sat on a bench on a rainy day? That's what it's like when I take a morning shit. That's like you're – You pissed your toilet is what you did. Like the same way you pissed your pants, like I pissed my toilet. You didn't actually get it in. You just pissed on the toilet.

So the same way you pissed the bed, I pissed the toilet. I pissed my toilet. Somebody sits down. What is this? I pissed my toilet. Somebody sits down. What is this? I pissed my toilet last night. I'm sorry. You're doing sitting on a toilet at 7 o'clock in the morning. I'd have wiped it off when I woke up.

Why don't you just start sitting? I think dudes who do that are weird. Oh, yeah. Let he without piss casteth the first stone. I don't want to pull my pants down that far. I mean, I think you need to start seriously considering that. A lot of these problems. I don't sit on any toilet seat I don't have to sit on.

That's not my guy. The problem is you have to. I would consider soaking a toilet with pee. You have to. No, it's soaking a toilet with pee they have to no it's not i just wipe it down with a paper towel not paper towel uh toilet paper when i get done but apparently you don't you're sitting on that fucking bus stop bus bus stop uh bench you ever get there and you're like yeah do i really have to sit like yeah i am pretty tired i did i did this was waiting for an Uber the other day.

You just sat in water willingly? On my own stoop. You're disgusting. I was like, I'm so tired. Were you going home or going somewhere? I was coming to work. I was just so tired in the morning. What?

What? You knowingly were like, that's going to soak my ass and my underwear and my pants and I'm going to do it anyway. I was wearing a longer jacket. So you sat on the jacket? I sat on the jacket, yeah. Did it get through your pants? No, not really, actually. All right, that's not bad. If you sit- I was expecting it to jacket. So you sat on the jacket? I sat on the jacket, yeah. Did it get through your pants? No, not really.

All right, that's not bad. I was expecting it to, but it didn't. If you willingly sit in a puddle, well, yeah, that's even worse then. You were prepared to be soaked. Whatever it is, is what it is. That is a level of despair that I don't think I've reached yet. I think it was Friday morning or maybe Thursday morning. Unless you're insanely hungover.

Oh, no, it was definitely Wednesday morning. It was definitely last Wednesday morning. And I was like, I just got to sit down. I got to sit down right now. I had just come back from the Pink Whitney stuff. I was like, I have to sit down. You are. Because my Uber canceled on me, so I had to order a new Uber.

It was raining out. I was like, I have to sit. I can't do this anymore. That is. I want to go back upstairs to my apartment. I was like, I'm just going to sit in this chair. Bro, what's going to happen when you're like 60? No one's ever going

to find out. I mean, your prostate's going to be the size of that ring light, bro. You're going to have a prostate the size of like a grapefruit. I don't know.

Is that a good thing or a bad thing? I think that's a bad thing. Yeah? And then large prostate's a bad thing, right? Yeah. Yeah.

And then it pushes because it pushes on your bladder and then you just pee like every five seconds. It's like being pregnant in your ass. That's right.

I like this. I got one of those apps. You're dragging the size of an apple today. Heavens to Betsy. Unreal. Talk about coming in hot to start the week Yeah I mean I know we had the Hank episode

But we filmed that last week So this is the very first thing we're doing for the week Is you come in dressed like Paddington Bear And talk about how you pissed the bed Set the tone baby Set the tone Come out there smacking the mouth Everybody's gotta bring their fucking A game dude

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Download GameTime. Last-minute tickets. Lowest prices guaranteed. By the way, I love the KFC Radio Christmas tree. Shout out to all you guys for doing that. The gape gloves as the star slash angel on top is a real special touch yeah the gape gloves are my favorite things ever because it's it's the ultimate if you know you know and if you really don't know you really get pretty confused you're like i don't really i don't

really get it you know like if you haven't seen that porn and you don't know what we're talking about you're just like what and if you have seen that porn you're like respect you know it's like a little club i like how it's like basically the only three things on top of trees are stars, angels, and gay clubs. And gay clubs. Gang shit. Gang shit. We also, I mean, we got to represent for the Jews too, though.

I believe Hanukkah's starting, so get on that. You're making menorah. Oh, you know what? She's not here today, but I got to represent for our girl Colleen, the newest member of the team who smashed the competition in our dumb corporate what person can get the most steps in the company. Now, we talked about this on the show. It was basically the death of Barstool Sports as we know it. We are now

a corporate company that has weight loss and... No, not weight loss challenges. We have health challenges. And it was who could get the most steps. Now, Colleen, in one of the most... In one of the biggest KFC radio paradoxes, is

she loves the show, she now works for the show, and is an avid runner and when i say avid i mean it's it i think it's borderline a problem she runs she's she's an addict do you know she is do you know how many do you know how much she runs i know she runs like a marathon like like a week how many miles a day do you think she runs i would guess she runs 10 miles a day 10 miles a day it's like several marathons a week yeah she runs 10 to 15 miles a day 10 miles a day I was going to say It's like several marathons a week Yeah She runs 10 to 15 miles a day

She said That's banana town And So She has a sub three hour marathon time That's fucking crazy That's crazy For just like a regular ass person

Yeah She didn't run in college or anything like that No I think she said She discovered it She picked it up after She Oh I meant like She didn't run like for like

University of Arizona No I don't think so No no no This is This is where the KFC radio style comes in. She just picked it up later in life. And by later, maybe like 23. But just like not during college. And she was like, fuck, I'm good at this.

I guess I got to be a runner now. So the challenge was who could get the most steps So when someone can run 10 miles a day She amassed over a million steps In the fucking time frame Oh I saw that text I thought you were being No I think Right?

No it's yeah Over a million steps And then there was There was someone that tried to Challenge her Who got injured. Like, she put him to fucking bed. And there were two people who cheated and tried to. Two people cheated?

I think they, like, together cheated or something. There's, like, a loophole with the steps. If you use, there's two ways to, like, track the steps. She's using one where it's, like, you can't lie. This is, like, your step counter your step counter on your watch or something. Somebody else used the health app and then just changed their step count. I guess you could do that if you go into it. But it was like your steps versus your miles don't make sense.

Wait, is this person fired? I was going to say, what a fucking loser. What a loser move. What a scumbag move. Is this a content person or a fucking third floor? No, What a scumbag move What an absolute Is this a content person Or a fucking third floor No this is

I think they're third floor What an absolute Fuck content person For a thousand dollars Yeah You're a fucking loser And You and my girl

Whoever the fuck you are Fucking kill yourself You're a loser And didn't do it I can say that Because I don't know Who you actually are So I can't be in trouble

With HR But you're a fucking Scumbag loser and should kill yourself. How about the fact you cheated and you came in second? Because our girl just fucking smashed you. Like, if you're going to cheat, at least win. Yeah. What's her name? Ruby Rosa?

Who's the woman? Check the woman who cheated at the Boston Marathon. Oh, yeah. Oh, classic. That's a legend right there. She just, like, drove the car. She just got on a T. Yeah.

But, like, people didn't know right away. Rosie Divas. They didn't know, like, in the moment, right? It was, like, after the fact. Yeah, they caught her pretty quickly. Like, at the finish line, they thought she won. But I think they caught her pretty quickly. Such a fucking great move.

And then, you know, I got to defend defend my team here during our year end meeting, which we'll talk more about. Uh, Erica was running through some of the highlights that we've done in like HR and stuff. And she was like, congrats to, uh, Colleen who won. I'll be honest. I don't really think that like pro or semi pro people should even like be allowed to be in this competition.

I think that's pretty unfair to have a pro runner win the thing. But whatever. Congratulations. And I was like, wait a second. Also, she got into it after college. I was going to say, she's neither. She's just fucking awesome at that. Supposedly, I heard Erica apologize to her after.

And then was like, we're going to try to get you sponsored. And she's like, all right, fucking do it. Yeah, I was going to say, listen, listen. You don't... Wait, we should sponsor. I mean, we should put KFC Radio merch on her and send her to... Just send her running like fucking Forrest Gump. Just run the country like a billboard.

She should just run with a fucking sign in her hand. Download KFC Radio. QR code that just is the auto-subscribe link. I'm going to do this. They should make her the fucking Google Maps patrol. Just have her run around with a camera filming the goddamn country. You cannot penalize someone for being awesome at something. No.

Sorry that you picked the weight loss challenge, the steps challenge, and I happened to be incredible at it. Remember when we had, I forget there was some like, we did a drinking challenge and John won. Are we going to penalize him? I don't think so. I remember there was like,

one of our failed ventures, we tried to start here at Barstool, and it was like, we had like teams, and it was like, I forget what it was, but like one team had like 10 million total followers, and one team had like 3 million total followers and one team had like 3 million total followers

and we were trying to get sign-ups for something like that. We can't penalize that team for having more followers. More people, yeah. That's how they got good at it. You should have selected the teams better. I guess you could also, if you really want to get in the fucking weeds about this, you could do like, you set a line, basically. Like, odds, you know.

Colleen's got to run this many steps above her average and you do a weighted whatever, but if you're just like... But fuck that! Fuck that! Fuck that! It's also $1,000. Yeah. $1,000 is don't get me wrong, it's not no money by any stretch of the imagination but it's not worth fucking doing a goddamn hissy fiddle. Well, you know what?

One of your co-workers got $1,000. You know what else none of this is worth is getting injured. She's at home today because she needed to get x-ray results. You guys don't know. That's not related. Oh, okay. She fell down the stairs. Drunk?

I don't think so. I don't know. I think she hasn't been drinking. Hey, hey. I guess she's not that great at steps after all. Let's find out she's paralyzed and I'm being an asshole. Is she okay? She might have broken her elbow.

Oh, fuck. God damn it. Jesus. God damn it. Which sucks because I was going to run around and be like, we're the most athletic podcast at Muscle Sports. Still going to tout that. Fuck.

That sounds like something Jackie would do, not Colleen. Yeah, I know. Very surprising. No, Jackie's good. She's good at her jumps, though. She's good at... You know, 50% of her jumps are landed at all times. She did fall down the stairs, though, last year. Jackie did? Yeah. Yeah, well, 50% of the time. Yeah, you fell down the spiral staircase. Spiral staircases

don't count. Spiral staircases are death traps. Those things are twisty ladders. I didn't fall down, I just hit my head. There's a difference. We got Kumail Nanjiani on the show, who is the star of Those things are twisty ladders. There's a difference. Yeah. We got Kumail Nanjiani on the show, who is the star of Welcome to Chippendales, which is the best true crime drama out. I think it's my favorite show right now. I am going to dive into the White Lotus.

Let's do a little Barstool DVR real quick. Okay. I like the White Lotus. Let's do a little Barstool DVR real quick. Okay. I like the White Lotus. I saw one single episode when I was up at the Pink Whitney house with Donnie and Kikigs. They both watched the show. So on Sunday, we watched episode 6 so they could get ready for episode 7, I think. I very much enjoyed episode 6. So I'm going to start from 1.

I'm not going to go back to season 1. I hated season 1. That's what kept me from it. And I love season 2. Okay. Season 2 is just... The White Lotus in general is one of these shows. It's a, what's the word? An anthology cast. So it can change radically from one to two and two to three. But it's the idea is one of those shows where like you're just watching like life happen.

You know, there's no like major, there is a major conflict like not really it's it's more just like um you ever seen the movie uh traffic i think it is yeah all those lives just kind of intertwined that's just like what's going on at this hotel crash crash crash um and i just did like if so if you don't like the stories and the people like the show's the show was going to fucking suck, you know? So I, I just hated the first one. I thought it was really weird. Tried to, it tried to be like,

uh, like fancy and kind of like, you know, high brow. Wow. I also think just not delivering the goods, you know? And then this one,

I just, I like the people better. I like the storylines better. So, uh, I think it's a huge jump. How many episodes have you done? I'm,

I think I have one more. Oh, really? Yeah, so I banged it out a lot this weekend, and I'm really into it. I got to be close to the finale, and I think the finale was last night. I think it was like, everyone's like, oh, my God. The only one I've done is when they go to wine country. It's like after the threesome. Bro, that scene, you know when, I'm trying to think of like an example.

Like when a scene really – when a TV show really nails like, I don't know, let's say like a war scene or something like that. Or whenever someone is talking about a TV show or a movie where they're like, that's – or Uncut Gems, like the anxiety of whatever. That scene where she's mad all day at him because of what she's figured out, I think she's figured out, and then they're drinking. I was like, oh, my God. I was sweating. My skin was crawling. I was like, this is the most painfully, I can't even imagine the tension in that room right now, the tension at that dinner table right now, and now they're going drinking.

Oh, my God. It was wild. So I'm big in on White Lotus. Quite a final scene to that episode, too. What was the very end? When Jennifer Coolidge walks in on something. Yes. Yes.

That's another thing that this show does. I'll say this about every TV show right now Everybody Is either gay Or it's interracial There's just no regular relationships anymore And that's fine Whatever But the White Lotus shows the most Of any sort of gay sex

On TV That is just like These things are not usually on television That's gotta be a weird scene to do. I was like, where does everything go? You know? That was pretty like. It's like a little bit.

You tape it up. You're on the bottom. You tape it up. Tape it up. And then you just turn a little bit. And then you just smash your flat bottom. The flat bottom of your dick against his butt. Yeah.

It's a gay sex scene. So you just put your flat dick in between bottom of your dick against his butt yeah it's a gay sex so you just put your flat dick in between his butt cheeks basically yeah no fucking way how else do you do it

I mean that's what I'm saying it's a magic trick but there's no way that they're like alright man rub your dick against that guy's butt you tape yours back

and you tape his up well I guess I guess if you – Boy, that's the ultimate too. You're like, oh, I hope I don't get already. Yeah, that's what I was going to say. You almost got a hope. If both of those actors are straight, it's not that bad because you're theoretically going to be dealing with soft dicks.

Theoretically? That's easier, yeah. That's a Costanza moment. I had moved Yeah, I don't know My dick was rubbing against the hole So, I like white Hello

Anybody home? My dick's just polite And fucking knocks on the door Any hole it wants My dick is a chameleon, man He knows how to act In every social situation How about Wednesday My dick is a chameleon, man. He knows how to act in every social situation.

How about Wednesday is on pace to beat Stranger Things and be the most watched streaming show ever. Really? Keegs loves it. It is good. You've watched that too? I mean, it's like if White Lotus is over here as like an adult drama and the crazy and shit, Wednesday is – actually, it's not all the way over. It's like Stranger Things. It's like this is made for kids here as like an adult drama and the crazy and shit. Wednesday is actually it's not all the way over. It's like Stranger Things.

This is made for kids but also can be enjoyed by adults. It did like 750 million views at like the halfway mark of the month. I think Stranger Things did like 1.2 billion in 28 days. And Wednesday did like 800 million. So if you double that, it's going to be like 11.6 billion to Stranger Things, $1.4 billion. Jesus Christ. Jenna Ortega smashes this role. Yeah.

I've never heard of her. Is she somebody? She is in – you ever watch You? I know the show, but I've never seen it. She's like one of the – she's like – I think she's actually like a younger girl that Chris D'Elia tries to fuck around with. I don't know about that. You know, when D'Elia played the – yeah. But she was awesome in that.

She was cool. She was like – how old is she? Because in that show she's supposed to be 20. 20, yeah. So she was playing like a 16-year-old back then. And so you could tell that she was kind of like – she got the goods, you know. And then in this, she acts her ass off. I think she smiles.

I'm on probably episode like six of eight or ten or whatever. You're crushing TV this weekend. Yeah, yeah. Well, I've been doing it for like, I've been watching Wednesday for a couple weeks now. She does not smile, which is like the role. But like, her hands stay perfectly still. She never swings her arms. And she just like delivers her lines like, yeah, that would be great like whatever like just everything's so deadpan she said that she didn't add christina ritchie's the uh she's wednesday

from the movies in the 90s she's in it as a teacher and she was like i didn't ask her for any like any help because i wanted it to be like my own one I didn't want to like jack her style at all so she came up with her own version of it and she is like I could see I could see a couple things Christina P we had her in here a couple weeks ago she remember she was talking about being like the original goth girl she was down with like punk rock and all that

shit and she was kind of like oh hell no like now now this is cool now everyone's got a little punk rock goth in them and you can dress like that and talk like that and back when i did it i was like a fucking dyke and i was bullied and all that shit like fuck you guys fuck all these johnny come lately's but i think everybody is kind of doing their like i'm in my you know wednesday mode now like i've got my my eyeliner on and like the fits and all that shit all black and white but. But it's very, it is Stranger Things-esque. It's a little bit, you know, fantastical, magical, fantasy,

and then mixed with, like, a high school drama, you know? I fuck with that. Yeah. But what was the, we were going to talk about one, what was the main thing we were talking about? Welcome to Chip and Dill's. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, because it was cool mail. So anything else you're watching?

What else is out there? I got nothing. I haven't started anything new. I'm going to do Lotus. I'll do Wednesday. I watched Emily the Criminal and White Lotus. Emily the Criminal is good. I'm getting heavy Aubrey Plaza this week.

I like that a lot. Emily the Criminal is a – It's very good. It is a – not quite – it's weird to say Uncut Gems-esque again because it's what you said. But it is very – But it's like, just stop. Just stop. You're going too far.

You know you're going too far. It's the ultimate, like, flew too close to the sun. Have you watched or are you going to watch Bullet Train? I watched it and I just wasn't in the mood and I wasn't giving it the proper due.

So I took not even 10 minutes in. I was like, I need to pay more attention to this. Because I think the Netflix thing says the Netflix thing says for lovers of Deadpool and Knives Out comes Bullet Train. And I was like, bro, those are some heavy hitters for this straight to streaming movie.

No, Bullet Train wasn't straight to streaming. Oh, it wasn't? I don't think it did great in theaters, but no, it was in theaters. Okay, it's even worse, I feel like. What was I going to say? No, I was doing holiday movies all weekend. Saw that. Love your idea, by the way.

Brilliant. What was it? To have all of the holiday episodes of shows in one. Oh, yeah, why don't I do that? Someone tweeted me back that I think Paramount Plus does. I don't know. So you mean like the season five New Girl Christmas episode. Yeah.

And like do all of those. Seasonlloween right right saint valentine's day that is a great idea um back in the day when friends was hot like when the dvds came out they used to sell the dvd of like it came in a package it was like the holiday special and it came with uh central perk coffee some hot cocoa a tray and then it was all the holiday ones very just on one in one spot it was awesome yeah that is cool the um but i just i was just doing christmas movies and not like the classic ones i was how many popsicles did you eat in that sitting if i the thing is like i can't be honest about this stuff because people tell me i'm alive liar. I know. The real ones know you're not lying.

The real ones know the truth. The haters will say it's fake, but... I'll tell you this. And I had some help. There was someone else in the house. A few other people in the house had a Popsicle or two here and there. I bought 24 Popsicles on Friday. I woke up with two Popsicles left on Saturday. There were other other people were grabbing

some. That was like a snack. Dude, that was like, bro, I got the popsicles at probably 11am. So I was just hammering popsicles all day. But that was what started when I started my movie session at night.

I've been eating popsicles Like breakfast, lunch, dinner I probably put down I bet I put down 15 popsicles That day That day Yeah

And then Saturday What are we talking by the way Like we A creamsicle Or like an iceicle No no no So a lot of them are You can read

I forget the name of it What is it Outshine It's kind of a natural candy But then the ones With the colors on them, sour patch kids. Oh, shit. Yeah, not that sour, just enough sour.

They're pretty good. I've never had them before. They're pretty good. Not ice cream. Popsicles. I used to do the Lifesavers back in the day, and I was the only kid in the world who ate the green ones. Yeah, right there.

And nobody else ate them, so I in the world who ate the green ones. And nobody else ate them so I used to fucking just crush the green ones. Those look cool. Ice pops kind of get forgotten. I feel like people continue to eat ice cream into their adult years but ice pops kind of gets forgotten.

And when I go on a popsicle run I go on a fucking run. I feel like the only one people do eat is the creamsicles, the orange creamsicles, or the fudge pop, if you will. Fudge pop's not bad. Talking good old ice, you know, like flavored ice type shit. I much prefer popsicles. And also, much prefer, like, wooden stick up the ass of the thing as to one of those

plastic icy things. Oh, yeah. No. I hate those. No, no, no. I hate those. I mean, the goat is, to me, is the red, white, and blue firecracker from the ice cream truck. Yeah. You don yeah. Hate those. No, no, no. Hate those. I mean, the goat is, to me, is the red, white, and blue firecracker

from the ice cream truck. Yeah. You don't really get those. I mean, you can, but you just don't really get those at home. No, those are like the buying a movie on a streaming service versus finding it on cable.

Yes. Those are great to stumble upon. You hear the music, and you're like, oh, my God. But at the market, you get yourself some fucking outchains. I also, I don't mind a push pop, which is usually like a creamsicle, like the WWF ones preferably, or the Flintstone ones preferably.

But we used to do Lifesavers, which is kind of weird because I never – most people just Lifesavers on the mints now, but Lifesavers used to be the yellow, red, purple, orange. Yeah. And those were good popsicles. You know what I bet it is? I bet it's that the guys stop eating them because they think it looks like they're sucking dick. Too phallic?

Yeah. And that's the stupid reason to stop eating them. I will fucking deep throat a popsicle right now, bro. I was fucking sucking the shit. I will take it right down to the wooden... I woke up. I bet I felt like how fucking porn girls feel after a blowback. Like, my mouth hurt with... Right down to the wooden... I woke up, I bet I felt like how, like, how fucking, like, porn girls feel after a blow band. Like, my mouth hurt.

I had, like, sores. Like, I had to move on from, I couldn't... The outshines... Wait, you're jamming it in there? No, no, no, no. I'm probably putting it in... No, from, like, my teeth and stuff. Like, rubbing against my teeth and stuff.

Like, I had to stop, I had to stop eating the lime ones, the lime outshines. So, lime out. Because, because, uh... The acidity wasn't getting in the guts in my mouth. Wait a minute. Maybe your bladder was so full because you're eating ice pops, but that's very liquid. It's like heavy water. Could be.

So you're like, I haven't even drank anything. It's like, well, you had frozen ices. Yeah. And on top of the water, next thing you know, you wet the bed. Holy crap. Yeah, I was a kid this weekend. I fucking ate a ton of popsicles and fucking wet the bed. That's really not far off from Keegan's weekend.

Fucking Christ almighty. But we only watched the holiday, which if you're looking for a holiday movie, strong recommendation. That's the one. It's not brand new, is it? 2000. 2020. I thought it was brand new. The girl she brings home.

She brings an Australian guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, that was like we started the movie and I was like, oh, I thought we were going to do like a standard, like a classic. Date. Date. Holiday. Yeah.

I was like, I kind of wasn't that paying attention I was like yeah whatever I was kind of leaning back eating my popsicles looking at my phone and then

I just hear in one of the first ten minutes it's like they're at home at her parents and she's like this is what you

you didn't get me anything despite the fact I let you come in my mouth and I was like alright you got my attention I will be listening now yeah no I remember that it was pretty edgy as far as like a –

Oh, very edgy. Yeah. And then the next one we watched, Happiest Season on Hulu. That I haven't seen. Strong recommend too. Dan Levy, the tall chick from That Awkward Moment, Aubrey Plaza. Wow, what a cast. Bro, it's so much better.

The dude from Titanic. You'll know who he's – I'm going to show you. You'll be like, oh, yeah, that's the guy from Titanic. The bad guy? No, no, no, no, no, no. I know fucking what's his dick. I know what's his name. Billy Zane?

Billy Zane, yeah. No, Billy Zane's not in this. Oh, Kristen Stewart. Aubrey Plaza. Mary Holland, who plays... How much money do they Shawnee Tans in Veep

Shawnee Tans you know that's who Jonah's engaged to yes yes yes oh Alison Brie Dan Levy fuck Mary Stebergen

who's the mom and stepbrothers Victor oh Jake McDormand who's in a bunch of stuff you'll recognize him how could they have enough like budget for this shit?

This dude, the good dude from Titanic. Yeah. That's the guy from Titanic. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's great. It's also the same type deal. It's not quite as raw as The Holiday, but it's very good as well. I strongly recommend this.

Very funny. My one issue with the plot is that it's based pretty heavily around Kristen Stewart and the other girl are lesbian lovers and they're hiding it from him who's like to be honest I thought he was a senator the whole movie.

Turns out he's a congressman. A councilman. A city councilman. Oh god. And he's running for mayor and he's hiding his daughter's sexuality. But the fucking he's a councilman, a city councilman. Oh, God. And he's running for mayor, and he's hiding his daughter's sexuality. But the fucking, he's hiding the fact, she's scared to even come out to him. So she's like, he's a politician. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's never going to understand. He's a family values guy, blah, blah, blah.

He can't know that I'm a lesbian. But he's very proud of his other daughter, who's in an interracial marriage, and brings out their kids all the time and i just don't think that there's a person who would not accept lesbianism and maybe i'm wrong i don't know yeah but i'd be like no old white guys they're either all or nothing they're not down with black babies and and down with lesbians i think i think if i was a lesbian and my my fat my dad was really proud of my sister who was an interracial couple, I think I'd be like,

by the way, I'm a lesbian. I got some stuff going on over here too you'd be interested in. That's at the very least an equal. It might even be the Trump card. Like I'm fully gay versus just having an interracial marriage. Do you still like dick? Dad, dad, guess what?

Yeah. Oh, you know what else I've been watching? The Sex Lives of College Girls. Oh, yeah, Mindy Kaling. Yeah, she writes that.

It's very... Do you have me watch it, Jackie? No. I watched one episode. It's pretty good. I feel have you watched it, Jackie? No. I watched one episode. It's pretty good. I feel like it's probably accurate as to college, you know, I mean, TV's got to, like, do TV. But as far as, like, hooking up and sex and, I mean, it's more, I just know that there are girls who are like, oh, I'm this, I'm that one in the group and she's that one in the group and, like, that's what it's like. I think it's a pretty accurate.

Timothy Chow makes his little sister. she's that one in the group. And like, that's what it's like. I think it's a pretty accurate, um, Timothy Chalamet's little sister. Yo. So here's the problem. Timothy Chalamet's little sister. Which one of the ones exactly? Yeah. Her body is fucking rocking. And she plays like this mousy,

like, you know, nerd of the group. Um, she just looks so much like Timothee Chalamet, but then Timothee Chalamet looks like... So this is like Feidelberg's

dream woman. This is not just my dream, this is my point. That is a line right there. This is not just my dream, it's my point! This is my point. Timothee Chalamet would do the best with the other person's parts.

Nobody ever said it was a wrong answer. Nobody ever said it was wrong, bro. Dude, the more stuff that comes out about this thing, you look back on that day, you're like, John was fucking right. Ahead of his time, bro. I mean, look at that chick.

She's gorgeous. He's beautiful. But it's so weird because I look at her, I'm like, that chick's hot, but she looks like Timothee Chalamet, who's a boy, but Timothee Chalamet looks like a man, or is a man. Who looks like a girl.

So where do I fall? Who looks like a girl? It's like this cycle. But then mostly the problem is it's like, man, I know Feidelberg would probably masturbate to this girl. And then you get in my brain. It's like a whole problem. But actually, so there's her and the black girl,

and it is fucking so hot as long as she's over 18. And then it's just there's like the black girl, the lesbian girl, the nerdy girl, and the Indian girl who's like sex crazed. It's a cute show. It's a good – you know, I'm always a proponent of finding shows that you can watch with your girl or guy. It's a good show to watch with your girl and get credit with your girl. But also enjoy.

But also enjoy. But also enjoy. So it's more like, hey, honey, you can pick, and she's going to pick the Sex Lives of College Girls, and you can be like, oh, it's the girly show, fine, but next time we get to watch Bullet Train or whatever. But you actually kind of enjoy that one too. The reason I say all this is because... Wait, before you do that, I think we can just cross this one off on that. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

But while you're you do that, I think we can just cross this one off on that. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. But while you're talking about that, while Mindy Kaling was recently promoting, I think, season two of... Excuse me. While Mindy Kaling was recently promoting season two of Sex, Lies, and College Girls, she was on the Today Show or something like that and I realized what I'm about

to do is basically mansplain reality to someone who wrote on the show and I realized what I'm about to do is basically mansplain reality to someone who wrote on the show. Mansplain away, buddy. But Mindy Kaling was on whatever, today's show or whatever, and she was talking about how The Office couldn't happen today, couldn't exist today. One of the biggest tropes in all of fucking the internet.

And how everyone on the show will be canceled. Yeah, there it is. Why the office wouldn't survive. That's just, people love saying this. That's just not true. And you want to know how I know it's not true? The office exists today. Yeah, people still watch it.

People watch it in abundance today. Well, let me say this. If her argument is that, like, oh, studio producers wouldn't make it, I don't know. I'm not in fucking studios. I don't know what that means. But would the public accept the show? It's a rather benign show.

I love it. It's a comfort television show. It's not breaking boundaries. But I will say this. They did remove Diversity Day from streaming. Yeah. That doesn't mean the show doesn't work because a few jokes don't. No,

but I, so that's the point. The whole fucking thing, that whole theory is about diversity day. Yeah. They had one episode that was heavy racial stereotypes and I, and whatever episode, I don't know if that's the same episode when,

when Michael says to Oscar, like, is there anything else I can call you besides Mexican? Yeah. He's like, Ooh, Mexican. That's like the only, which by the way, is I think that joke

and I guess that probably came first. That joke is later used in 30 Rock when Jack Donaghy's dating Salma Hayek. It's fine. It's like, whatever. I call you a Puerto Rican? That doesn't sound right. That doesn't sound right. It all comes from that one episode.

What are the other, like, maybe the basketball episode with Stanley? The point of that was like, oh, my God, Michael's being a dumb fucking racist. See, I think that's what people don't get to, or people get to in their own head to acknowledge, is that shows can have bad people on them or good people who say bad things and it's acknowledged that it's not the right thing like everyone in the office okay everyone in the office rolls their eyes and says like jesus christ this guy's an idiot toby and hr freaks out like that's the whole point of the office is to be like this is the

incense every fucking person does it like, the Office. I watch the Office all the time still. But to pretend that it is this fucking like crazy offensive television is just not true. It reaches heights of popularity in 2020. And even when it was on TV, it was like mid-2000s.

Right? Mid-2000s when it started I think. That's what I mean. So like, like yes times have changed but it's not like it was like you know cheers back in the 80s or something which we know was very fucking yeah uh like it was it was at a time where you you know there still were fucking rules in like the 2000s not as many but it's not like it was uh you know it's just not that fucking crazy of a show it's a sitcom man it's not like it's it's a very it's a like i, it's just not that fucking crazy of a show. It's a sitcom, man. It's not like it's. It's a very. It's not.

It feels like almost like I'm insulting the show when I'm like, it's just not that crazy. I do. I do. Like when he. Benihana Christmas, when he has to draw on her arms. Yeah. Very funny. Very funny.

Yeah. You could be fucking funny. But I. Yeah. If Mindy is speaking to what studio heads would say say no, I don't know the answer to that. Yeah. But what society would accept? Society will accept a fucking show about a paper company in Pennsylvania.

That's just a fact. But there would be a lot of outrage if there was someone drawing on Asians to tell the I don't think so because we're sitting here saying it's funny. But it's not... So the problem is on streaming that there's not like one episode that everybody watches at once like if right now if an episode of a sitcom for

Thursday night 2 million people tune in and you're drawn on Asians there would be I don't think so I think when you what you're doing is you're putting jokes in a vacuum when you establish he's a character who's an idiot and can be racially insensitive, then you can do stuff like that.

When you put, oh, no one could ever say this. Well, when you establish a character for six years, that character can fucking do things. Yeah, yeah. That is true. The Sharpie tags is really one of the funniest things ever. God damn. Okay. the sharpie tags is really one of the funniest things ever god damn um okay so this is all to come back to say that kumail nanjiani's on the show which is a big get for us that's a big one uh that's a big hollywood get for a while now and um exactly kind of what i expected him to be just

like a super smart but like down to earth and funny cat and i we talk about it in the interview it's a little bit of an overdone thing with him talk about his fitness but um when we took the picture afterwards i put my arm around him and i felt his back i was like are you okay what is this he is a rock scale like give me a stone yeah he it looks it was like uh what did you? There's somebody who describes it as a bag of ropes. It's in 30 Rock again. Because that is this good description, like lumpy, but like hard. It's a bag of ropes.

This character is gay, and he's wrestling with a guy. He's like, oh, my God. It's like your back's a bag of ropes. Yeah, that's really what it felt like. Holy shit, you jerk. You can't be, you can't have it. He's not allowed to have it all. That's not fair. You can't be the nerd and then also be the Marvel fucking superhero.

God damn you, Kumail. So he's on the show. Speaking of people that got ripped like that, do you see Rob McElhenney met the king? Yeah. Met the king? Yeah. The king of England. Yeah. The king, like Prince Charles was now the King? Yes. Okay.

It's like him, Ryan Reynolds, and the King of England. Because of the football? Yeah. Because of the soccer? Yeah, standing in midfield at Wrexham. That's pretty fucking cool. That's wild. That is pretty fucking cool.

Did you see Hal Steinbrenner met the Pope? No. Was that a Photoshop? Put it on. I thought I saw on Twitter. It was like Hal Steinbrenner met the Pope and then, yeah, right? Four days ago. Poor Aaron, just signing.

So people were like, oh, the Pope told him to sign him. Let me tell you what. We got a bullseye on our back now, brother. $400 million payroll. You guys are $400? It's like $280, and then the taxes make it hit $400. Those are crazy taxes. Crazy.

Because once you go over, I think when you go over, it's better to just go over. You know what I mean? Don't go over a little bit uh but what's crazy is like i i as a mets fan who made fun of like the yankees all those years for spending and like the marlins who would just load up buy a bunch of guys never be able to retain them see you later that's the kind of spending and and let it be said i don't give a fuck what kind of spending you do go nuts but the mets don't have anybody on the books longer than a couple years other than lindor diaz and uh in nimmo now like there's no like big albatross contract like they're all every two years they have like hundreds of millions coming off the books so like yeah we go

all in and we retain all of our prospects and retain all of our flexibility pretty good that's pretty fucking good that's like the best way to do it. So while you can be like, yo, you need – I will fully admit that I would not call them the front runner to win the World Series by any means next year. But what they're doing is building their whole machine for years to come while still competing right now. That's fucking awesome.

I thought there was going to have to be a period of time where it's like we get really lean, we load up on the farm system, and then we slowly build, so have patience. But while they're doing that and retaining all that talent, they're also a contender right now. So to me, to be able to contend in the short term while not sacrificing the long term

is the fucking greatest thing in the world. Everybody's just building to try to beat the Astros because they're just the freaks of the bunch. But as we saw, it's just about getting people like, what, what, what, did the Mets get any better? I'm like, well, first of all, they added the Cy Young winner. So yes, Jacob Brown didn't pitch. They replaced him with the Cy Young winner.

So yes, they got better. Also, if it just stays 101 wins okay and then it's like yeah you got to get hot in the playoffs that's what we learned this year is that it's not about you can't like build for the playoffs really you got to just get there and hope hope you get hot so uh the for a team that had like seven uh free agents and they retained like all the important ones or swapped out for the questionable ones like and also just have i said that on here i don't know fuck jacob degrom man i said it on we gotta believe but like i i was reading some old article about him from sports illustrated talking about like how he acted and like how he

was like the article was just like waxing poetic about him he was like a prankster and he was a serious guy around the clubhouse and he was but he was like would instill the fear of god into people and how he was the best athlete he would win the sprints he could lift the most he could beat everyone in ping pong blah blah blah blah blah it's like well you know one thing you couldn't do is fucking stay on the goddamn mouth i don't care that he can like beat you in rock paper scissors okay how about you fucking pitch man i don't think i've ever seen him smile like that once with the Mets. That son of a bitch. That son of a bitch! So, whatever, dude.

Be gone. Anyway. Kumail's on the interview. Let's get into One Minute Man, then we'll do our voicemails and we'll get out of here. Shout out to Movement. Movement has been doing things different since day one, creating watches with refreshingly clean designs, top-tier materials, and unbeatable prices.

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I saw, I think, either someone we know or someone at the company tweeted it out saying, saying like it was, I think Chief blogged it saying it was 50% boos, 50% cheers, which is a good indication of where he's at. I wasn't hearing any boos. I don't think I heard a consistent thorough boo, so maybe it was being broken up by some cheers, but it was more just like a

groan. You know what I mean? It was not a warm reception. I cannot stand Elon Musk, so maybe I have a bias here. I mean, the guy literally recording it goes, yeah. So you hear that in his phone.

There's some whistles. You know what? That's kind of 50-50. Yeah. Really? Yeah. I thought that was just like a 100% boo.

No, no. Because a boo, you would hear that, ooh. This is more like you hear the whistles. There's some claps. I mean, it's hard to know whether that's just like two people clapping next to the iPhone. Those claps sound pretty close.

Yeah. It's almost like in Saving Private Ryan, like a hiss versus a fucking whatever. Yeah, you know whether it's... Where it's like, no, don't be scared. Like the snaps are what you want to be scared of, not the hisses or whatever. Yeah, yeah, you know whether it's... Where it's like, no, don't be scared. Like, the snaps are what you want to be scared of, not the hisses or whatever. Yeah, you got time with the hiss. Either way, it wasn't, you know, a great...

It wasn't like everybody loved it. And then he proceeds to yell, I'm rich, bitch. Which he doesn't even do it. That's like... He didn't even do it right. It's like the easiest thing to do in the world. Yeah.

But you got to do like the, I'm rich, bitch. Like, you got to do it like Dave did it. I'm rich, bitch. Yeah. He did it so well. And he did it like a rock star. Not that I can do it like Darnell Rawlings, but like his inflection was so bad.

So wrong. And the way he went like. I can't hit the notes. He did like the microphone up like this. I'm rich, bitch. And then like did like this kind of rock star thing. And it was like, no, dude. It is like. bitch and then like did like this like kind of rock star thing and it was like no dude no

it's one of those things almost like we were talking with with uh Chris Hansen like do you ever pity these people and it's hard to pity a billionaire but like it is like all he wants to do is to be liked not even like he just wants people to think he's funny

and he's just fucking not that's also like just but you're not like don't be funny. Yeah. And he's just fucking not. Definitively not funny. But that's also like, just, but you're not, like, don't be funny. But that's what he wants to be. I know, I know. It's like, the one thing he can't be. It's kind of like, you know, I want to be a rapper, but I can't be. You got to just recognize your strengths. He's like, I have everything else, but I just want people to think I'm funny.

Well, you're not fucking funny. You know what's annoying, too, though? And this actually taught me just about, like like how to handle the news and everything. Like I follow this chick who was a survivor of human trafficking. And she's like the number one spokesperson for – like she speaks out against it. Her name is Eliza Blue. And so she's up in my timeline a lot. I must have clicked enough that it's like I'm always seeing her shit and she she said like the minute Elon Musk took over

he like got he got so much done on the front of Twitter not being a tool for child trafficking anymore like shut down all the hashtags that they used to use and did whatever you do on the back end and when like he jumped in her twitter space and talked about it and like she was like elon musk in one day did what i've been asking twitter to do for like a decade straight so when like people are making fun of him and saying you know especially that the people who would definitely be on the side of like helping stop human trafficking think that he's like some right wing fucking freak fiasco it's like well you nobody's talking about that so you just don't know you know so like he you know he might be sitting back being like i don't know we've like fixed the environment and human trafficking and this and this and that all in one day and i'm

getting booze well no shit so just fucking just do that stuff just stop trying to be funny yes like because you're getting booed because you're impossibly lame right that's what i'm saying that's all that's more separate from not trying to be funny i was just saying more from the point of view of like i mean once once you get in the public eye you're just like you're gonna fall in with this side or that side it sucks because you can't really like you can't you can't be both sides anymore because people think that's lame too like both sides my shit has nothing to do with politics at all my shit just has to do with someone trying to be not funny

right no I get that I'm just saying the other side of things is like he doesn't like people being like woke and so those people are just totally out on you and it does seem like he skews more republican in like the ways he talks and tries to joke but then the other side of it is like you hear if you do hear out on you you know and it does seem like he skews more republican in like the ways he talks and

tries to joke but then the other side of it is like you hear if you if you do hear the other things he's doing it's like well you can't well you can't tweet things like the worst joke of all time like my pronouns are prosecute fauci that was like that was like i'm furiously masturbating in the corner this is hilarious um the fucking you you can't tweet that and be like, I don't know, people think I'm right wing. Well, yes. It's like when Dave goes on Tucker Carlson 50 times a week and he's like, I'm not political.

Somehow I got put on the right side of things. No, I do agree with that. What is the most concerning of this whole thing is Dave Chappelle being the one to bring him out. Because like you said, you're not funny. And Dave Chappelle should be bringing out funny people. If you're at a comedy show and a comedian brings someone out, to me, unless it was just like,

you're not here to be a part of my comedy show or whatever. But it heavily implies a co-sign of, I like this guy at this comedy show. And it's like, it's the last place you should be on stage with a comedian. He should be at every TED talk about the fucking space. He should be at all sorts of South by Southwest meetings about social media, all that shit. Fine.

But he doesn't need to be on stage at the comedy show because he's not funny. But he gives he's like, I'm sure takes care of Chappelle. Oh, yeah. And I think I'm I'm I'm I'm out on chapelle i almost didn't say it i'm i don't think chapelle is that funny right now yeah well that's like he got you and i saw him at at the 9-11 fund was he funny there he was he was was he funny yeah no it was like did not like he funny there? Yeah, no. It was like... Dude, not like... He came out... He's just feeling himself too much. He came out and was basically like,

I'm a fucking god. He came out like a rock star standing on the middle of the stage and got like a 10-minute standing ovation because of Dave Chappelle. And then he fucking... What did he do? What did he do recently that like...

I don't know. I didn't find the closer funny at all. I didn't think that was... I didn't think he was trying to be funny. I guess credit to him. I don't think he's even Trying to be funny People are saying he's hilarious Yeah

I think he's just talking I think he This is the funniest shit I've ever heard He very much lives Off his reputation He It's like what we always say

With musicians and stuff like that Where you can be like Well just say Fucking Bieber made a bad album Just say it Right You can still like him

You can still like him But like that was a bad album Everything he does now Is gospel and funny It's just like yeah it's not that good right and i think he's also kind of transitioned into this like uh speaker like you give speeches almost yeah it's like like dave's new special is out and it's like no that was like a nine minute thing eight minute 42nd thing on george floyd this is not you know but everything he does too it's just like again like on his reputation is like. And this isn't even his fault. This is the public's fault.

It's so profound. When he did his fucking ground breaking. Which was like 15 minutes. I didn't even see that one. There's nothing that's special in it. And Jon Stewart's like, I hope it starts the right conversations, the right discussions. What are you talking about? He didn't say anything.

Also, it's like, it's not. It's going to start a bunch of bitching on Twitter like last time. It's not saying anything. It's not particularly funny. I just don't get it. I don't know. I'm not going to. I like Dave Chappelle.

I think Dave Chappelle's hilarious. I just think right now he's putting out a bad album. I also don't. I think he was so incredibly obtuse about the transphobic stuff where it was like, a lot of that was born out of like, when he was like, I'm not even really telling transphobic jokes.

And like, I know what he meant. Like at times it was just like transphobic material or a story about them. Dude, remember on whatever special it was when he does, like he literally uses the, I don't know, LBGTQABCF,

whatever it is. What are we, in third grade right now? Right. And a theater of people laughed at that. Because that's the, what was it, Steve Martin who retired? Because he was like, people were just laughing at everything I said. Right, right, right. Whether it was funny or not.

I think it was him. Because you reach a point where it's just like, yeah, man, I don't know. It's like, you can't just laugh at every fucking thing the guy says. But also even if like, okay, so you weren't like really – let's say he – I don't really even recall what he said. I think a lot of times it wasn't specifically making fun of transphobic people or whatever. But it's like – but you're talking about them constantly one way or another, whether it's your or your your posts or your your instagram video or your your stand-up and it's like well i don't know what maybe you don't hate them but there's clearly something going on with them and they don't like it so let's stop if you know if it's

if you want if you don't want it to be about that then fucking move on yeah you know it's like it's just you it's like you're fine you're using them as a crutch i don't know what you want me to say you don't hate them but you're using them or whatever the fuck it is how about you just do something else pull up the pull up that video again paz the the like the what pissed me off the most about this the video the bringing the musk out is like so i i think which is a d which is a huge insult to chapelle and maybe I'm misinterpreting the video. I think that Chappelle was kind of surprised by this reaction. Oh, totally.

Which is like, that's how fucking... Pause it for just one second. That's how separate you are from reality. That like, whoa, hang on a second. I brought out the richest man in the world in San Francisco, and people were like, whoa, I didn't realize this was going to happen. So then, like in this video... He probably thought in San Francisco, like, we're safe, you know? Right.

And Musk doesn't talk at all. At all. Like, he tries to get a word, and then Dave's, like, trying to save it. And he's, like, making fun of him. And it's like, Chappelle also makes fun of the crowd. He's like, that's all those boos are coming from the top seats. It's like, I don't know, don't make fun of your fucking fans for like, I don't know, because they don't like a fucking billionaire.

But no, so this isn't maybe. Go to the middle towards the end. He ends it with like a prayer. To Jesus? Yeah, which is like, I hope everyone finds out. Like, put the volume on. Yeah, those's right. Go back a little bit. of feeling free and your pursuit of happiness make you happy.

Amen. Thank you very much. He kind of did this in MSG too, didn't he? He's like, I just feel like that might be part of his He tries to save it like five times

and realizes it's not working. That's where, I mean, he should have just been like, and goodnight Elon, like thanks for coming out, you know, and then do like another joke

or some shit like that. You got it. But this is the idea. This is where you're not like, if you're Elon, night, Elon. Thanks for coming out. And then do another joke or some shit like that. I wish everyone was on a piece of house. This is where you're not... If you're Elon, this is the lesson where Elon was in his lane. He was the

spaceship guy. He was the car guy. And he was the meme lord to the nerds and all was good. And he just overplayed his hand and then exposed himself to which is gonna happen buddy at all times and it's like everyone's gonna do it yeah i mean god willing one day we're lucky enough to do it ourselves yeah yeah you want yeah you want you want to be in a spot where you're like i'm going all in and all of society will know me i'll be a household

name for everybody and of course then that means a whole bunch of people will hate you but also wouldn't it be nice like isn't it wouldn't i I don't know. You know, you say, like, God willing, I want to be in a position to be able to do it and have the smarts not to do it. I don't know. I feel like the siren song is too appealing. To, like, I guess the equivalent would be, like, if we started a watch company. Next topic on One Minute Man. We didn't cover the... Dave jokes about that enough where I think it's okay. That was hilarious.

Well done. We didn't really hit the Brittany Griner stuff because that happened in between episodes um boy were there a lot of international spy trading experts out there on the internet this weekend like everything man every fucking time i mean this is special though like people acting like uh they knew what the fuck is going on in the embassies you know it is great but you can say you have fun with it like i i had i i made a very hacky one minute man talking about like using trade uh lingo and stuff and it's very funny yeah you know what i mean like it's funny to talk about this as if it was a basketball trade it just is you know and

it's stupid and it's hacky and then the people would take it really seriously i'm so into i think about trade craft no no yeah no like people being like, you know, this was like Kobe for Vladi, and I said like an arms dealer to be named later, or a spy prospect. How about poor fucking Brittany Griner? Like, imagine you come home, and you're like, wait, everyone's mad at me? Yeah. That's what I said. In one minute, I said, I would stay in the prison.

I said, I don't want this pressure on me. People are going to be like, what are you going to do with your life now, Brittany Griner? You got to make sure it's worth it. Put me back in the prison. Might play for the Phoenix Mercury. Yeah, if I'm lucky. I think she's washed up by now, probably. So it's like.

But no, she wasn't. She played last year, I think. I thought she was playing in Russia. But I think the WNBA played both leagues, I think. I could be wrong. I don't know. Check Griner's stats. So there's a couple things where this spiraled out of control.

There's an American Marine over there in Russia who got caught spying, allegedly, who's been there since 2018, and everyone was like, why don't we bring him home? Like, why did you take her instead of him? It's like, because there was no offer for him to go home. The Russians were like, you have to give us a spy in exchange for your spy, and we don't have any. Or at least they said they don't have any. So they were like, we can't do that.

So, like, that's like, you know, you're trading for, like, a pitcher over here, and you're like, well, we need a batter. It's like, well, those are separate that's like you know you're trading for like a pitcher over here and you're like well we need a batter it's like well those are separate fucking things you know and but but i do also understand the notion so like i i just see both sides of everything it's like i i do get people being like well the but the focus should be on paul whalen not not britney griner i also kind of think like someone who signs up to be a Marine, you know, you know, the risks of like,

if you're spying in Russia, like, I don't know, you might get caught and end up in prison. We get disavowed fast. Yeah. The last thing they tell you before you jump onto the plane, you're caught,

you disavowed. That's it. Yeah. We don't know you. We don't know who you are. It's like, I don't know, a civilian being,

I don't know anything about that case, by the way. So I don't, I don't know about Paul civilian being detained. I don't know anything about that case, by the way. So I don't know. About Paul Whalen? I mean, I know about the outrage and all the upset and stuff like that. But when you find out that there was, it's not like they said, you can have Paul Whalen or Brittany Griner.

And we said Brittany Griner. Right. I mean, I believe Paul Whalen's family was like, they did the right thing. Right. Well, that's what's crazy is. Which must take an insane amount of grace from that family. No doubt. But also like Paul Whalen and these Marines and spies and people all over the world are, like, doing this for freedom, for Americans and shit like that.

You know what I mean? So it's kind of like they want people to come home. They want people to be safe. I'm also happy that they did it because I just want to know... This is a fun exercise, actually. If you got locked up abroad for some shit, do you think we could make enough noise that America would get you home? No. So, right?

So then you got to think to yourself. Brittany Griner can dunk, dude. So then I really thought to myself, they wouldn't even, no one would even hear about it in the White House if I was gone, right? It would take two months for my mom to realize. But then, so you really have to look in the mirror, and not like I ever really, I never thought about this one way or the other, but it's like, you are far less famous and important than Brittany Griner.

Because if you went overseas and got caught, you would just be in that prison until you're dead. I'd be Otto Wambach. What's that? Otto Wambier. What is that? That's the dude we let die in North Korea. Yikes. As a college kid, he took a poster off the wall. Oh, right. Ohio, from Ohio, I believe.

What level of celebrity gets brought home? Because my point was the reason I'm happy about Brittany Griner coming home is that Brittany Griner's coming home, but everyone's pissed at her. So I'd say anything below her, you're staying over there. You know what I mean? What level athlete or what level singer?

I was so mad about that whole thing, man. That sucked. What level singer? Like if... Do you think they're bringing Bartolo back? Bartolo? Oh, come on, dude. Is Morgan Whalen getting brought back?

Morgan Whalen? Yeah. Where the fuck did you pull Morgan Whalen from? He's just a highly politicized dude. If Morgan Whalen got brought home. Trump would bring him back. Biden would leave him. That's another thing.

I saw a Marine who was on Twitter. I think he's home now, but the entire Trump administration, he was locked up, and they did nothing for him. That was with DePaul Whalen, too. Yeah. Same thing. I think Trump's trade-off said he's like, I turned down an offer. Right, right, right. Because he's boys with everyone in Russia

So it's like People getting all upset about Biden It's like actually not But the other thing I will say I don't think Victor Brute Is a Threat anymore

Like people acting like he's going to just fall back in to be the merchant of death. It's like he's out of the game, bro. He's been out of the game for like a decade, and whoever replaced him is making that money. He's not going to let him just come back and take his corner back. That money is someone else's now, bro. Someone has been dealing weapons.

It's the United States of America. Oh, you're home. Victor Brook could live a thousand lives. He's not giving our enemies as many weapons as we are. Hey, bro, did you notice when they were doing the walk-by, did you notice the difference in those two prisoners? Brittany Griner had her dreadlocks shaved, and she's walking in in sweatpants and a hoodie.

Victor Brute was coming out looking like a million bucks. He was probably like, leave me here for a few more months. I'm on vacation, baby. I'm with my people, okay? These are my business associates here in America. I'm on a client outing for the last 10 years. I'm good, man. That was so funny.

We let an arms dealer go? Dude, we are the arms dealer. So good. So fun. You want an AK? You want a fucking weapon of mass destruction? You call 9-800-FREEDOM, baby. We will hook it up.

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The number? 1-800-FREEDOM. Grant Wall passes away, dies, murdered, however, whatever you think in this situation, in Qatar. I think he has to have unfortunately just died. I mean, he was writing about it in his article. If you kill an American journalist during the World Cup, you got fucking balls and steel.

I mean, he was writing on his sub stack saying, I think I have bronchitis. And then his last post was like, this is really taking a turn for the worse. My chest hurts even more. This is something I've never felt before. The stress of work and all that. But I'll also say, I don't know. I don't know. It's weird.

It's like he made waves by wearing the freedom of a rainbow shirt for his brother who's gay. He wrote very, very like, didn't he just drop like like, a piece, like, excoriating Qatar being, like, you know. I think it was like they don't even care. And it was about, like, the migrant workers and stuff like that. Right. So he's, like, very much poking the bear and then ends up dead. And it could be a coincidence. But those are some coincidences that at least make you go.

There should obviously be a very full investigation. What if they just poisoned him? They very well could have. I mean, are there a lot of poisons that take 10 days to act? I'm sure there are. I don't know much about poison. But the... What if he was kidnapped this whole time and they made him publish those things?

If you fucking... That's got to be like World War. If you fucking kill an American journalist, dude. Like, not just in America. Like, the American journalist. Like, the American sports journalist. Yeah, the one. Like, Grant Wall in America. Like, the American journalist. Like, the American sports journalist. Yeah, the one. Like, Grant Wall wasn't some dude over there making his name.

Grant Wall was the one who fucking dubbed LeBron the chosen one. Grant Wall was, like, that fucking guy. Yeah, he is, like, the most prominent. Like, as far as sports journalism, like, I knew who Grant Wall was. I think if you follow sports at all, you know who Grant Wall is. He wasn't just the guy at a teacher. Grant Wall's a fucking badass. To kill him is...

If they killed him, that's like... Yeah, I guess... What do you do? It would probably be considered an act of war. I don't really know. During an international event like that, if you do anything violent, it's got to be like a... But I mean, you know, it's like... I don't know.

Maybe he also had a string of bad health. It would just be weird if I i mean you know it's like did he i don't know maybe maybe he also had a string of bad health like it would just be weird if if i go over there i guess we did this is like this is like you give a mouse a cookie though we let him kill kalagashi no problem they're like oh we can just kill journals they hate they hate the media too i mean that's where i tend to lean more towards like although i mean that was i know i know the mbs and qatar different places just so we're clear yeah different places but a different person in a tend to lean more towards like although i mean that was i know i know the mbs and qatar different places just so we're clear yeah different places but a different person in a different place right but it's all you know the same kind of idea behind it but i don't know it's it is just like a

i and and let's say he just died uh from bronchitis. Whatever. It's all separate. I guess this is more hats off to people who do this, but going to Qatar and writing scathing pieces about them and wearing rainbow flag shirts and shit is just such a bad idea.

It's not something I'm interested in. And I know the world needs people to stand up and protest. I just like, is this the place or the time? Do it when you're home. I don't know. I would just be like, I'll wear it when I'm home, and I'll write these articles when I'm home, and I know it doesn't have the same effect,

but it's also not going to be a threat. You know why he was probably fucking freaking out and stressed and died from it? Because he was fighting Qatar. It's just not worth your life. I know you're standing up for your brother and and all his people and uh you want to like stand up for those migrant workers and stuff but it's like you know it ain't changing anytime soon and and then if you did put some sort of bullseye on your back holy shit but who know i mean if it all is just a coincidence, then what is it?

Whatever. What can you do? But it does not look, you know, on the surface. It turns out the World Cup of Guitar might not be a good idea because no matter what, things are going to look bad. Yeah. It does feel like one of those losing fights where, to me, I'm like, I don't even know why we try. But if you don't try, then things get worse for everybody all around the world. So you need the people out there.

Yeah, you need good people. And then you need people like us to be snarky. Yeah. Yeah, you don't really need us. Real quick, what's up on screen? We had a homeless guy and a vlogger. This happened today? This just happened, yeah.

Holy fuck. We had a... Ooh, security, actually. Yeah, I love it. Get them, Ebony. Ebony. Ebony and... Who was that with the camera? One of our guys? I don't know.

Or was that one of the... There were two intruders that came in that are... Look at everybody in Pick Central getting in the mix. Yeah. Who's that in the white shirt? Spider! Of course Spider's there! I believe that guy is a TikTok. Fucking LunaTik, it looks like.

Oh, the first thing I heard, somebody said there's a homeless guy. There's some homeless guys. We had a homeless guy and a... Whoa. That was separate. So I think what i'm gonna be and this is all i've seen is this one clip i think we just gave that person exactly what they wanted yep i know who that guy is that's the guy i believe he probably was homeless at one point but he pretends to be homeless on tiktok got it um you know what though that's one of those things it's like ah that's good for us, too.

That's content for us, too. You know what I mean? It's like, give a mouse a cookie. I don't want this to happen every day now. But it's like when people say, like, don't punch down. It's like, I don't know. Fuck that. You know what I mean?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That guy's, like, talking shit, and I want to, like, defend myself and say whatever, you know? This guy seems like he's one half step above that guy Josh. Oh, fuck that guy. Right? Like just doing annoying shit to piss people off. That's him? That's him.

This is the guy who just came in. Doing a KY Jelly bath on the side. Yo. And he's totally like, he's a normal person. All I see, every single one of the captions is like, homeless guy does this in New York City. And then he's like, he's with the shits. He knows what he's like.

Yeah, I mean, someone's obviously filming, and it's on his channel and all that. This guy is worse than the person who cheated in the Steps Challenge at Barstool. We're lying. This is why I just hate TikTok. This is so impossibly unfunny. And you know what?

What you think is funny is funny, whatever. But no, I do care. I do care. And you know what? I care if you think this is funny. I'll tell you this much. There's just like three or four people on the planet that are allowed to do that. And it's like Eric Andre, Knoxville, Steve-O, and I don't know, maybe one other prank person.

Tim Robinson. If you see them in public doing some annoying shit. But Tim Robinson doesn't do pranks. But I'm just saying, if you go out in public and you do some weird shit, like, you got to be the absolute cream of the crop. Tim Robinson doesn't? Not that I've ever seen him. No.

When he's, like, in the mall and shit? No, that's not real, though. He just prints on news channels. Like, he'll go on an interview with them and then just, pretend to be somebody and then just like fuck with them the whole time. Yeah. But that mall thing is making fun of these. He's not actually in the mall. What's this?

Maybe that was Eric Andre then. I got too much fucking shit on me. No. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is everybody in the mall in on it, too? Yeah. That would be funnier if those were just regular people. He doesn't do anything. He doesn't interact with any of them.

That's what I mean. They're like, go put the table over. All those people are just walking by. I thought that was the point. He's just in the mall while he does that. He doesn't actually bother. He's just like, fuck this. He's just making fun of these people who do this stuff in public. Dude, did you see the HQ trivia guy? This is mine. I got so mad

yesterday. He's still floating around? I got triggered. No, he sells t-shirts now. Yeah. Like, just out of a store. Not like he sells merch. Is it like Spencer Goods or something? A vintage t-shirt store in California. That dude thought that he was the next Alex Trebek.

Nope. Not Alex Trebek, Kevin. I just read Daniel O'Priori. I'm looking through my mentions. Not Alex Trebek, Kevin. He thought he was Justin Bieber. No. Tell me he made a song.

No, no, no. He just said he was Justin Bieber famous. The exact quote I will get for you here he just did a uh an interview i guess with uh i know where he's going with this what because like hq trivia had like 500 million people play it or something like that he said i i was like i'm sorry it was like justin bieber level sometimes former hq trivia host scott ragowski says of his rocket ride to fame, now selling vintage T-shirts in Santa Monica. The funny man pledges this year is going to be a renaissance year. If you fucking say that you were Justin Bieber level famous.

Bro, I was a lot. I remember the two weeks HQ. I can barely see him right now. I would never. I never played it, so I wouldn't. I have no idea what this guy looks like. Oh, it's his own store. Quiz Daddy's Closet.

Fuck this guy. Quality vintage dude. Fuck this guy. I'm sure that's what he's saying is that he. Oh, don't tell me he's a Mets fan. Fuck. So many people played HQ trivia that he probably was like I was in front of like millions and millions and millions of people and I'm sure

that like in the in the peak of it some people were like hey that's the HQ trivia guy but to say that you were on Justin Bieber's level when like Justin Bieber Justin Bieber is up there with like Britney and Michael Jackson and shit like body doubles You can't go anywhere I said In a tweet I said I think I walked by This guy one time

But I honestly Don't remember I feel like In my head I feel like I remember Coming back to lunch At the old HQ And being like

Telling Keith I think I just walked by The HQ trivia dude But I don't even remember If I actually had That conversation Or maybe someone Said it to me

And they walked by him. And it's kind of warmed into my brain. There's somewhere in there that someone walked by him, but I don't have a clear memory of what happened because it's not Justin Bieber. Because that's your level of fame. You know what level of fame you are, dude? I think I walked by you one time,

but maybe it was someone else that I know that told me that, and it's somewhere in my brain. That's your level of fame, dude. I think I maybe once saw you. I don't really remember what happened, but he's talking about he invented this fucking thing. No, the dude who invented it OD'd, bro.

You are just the guy. Wait, look. Look at that. He begged his agent to get him a shot of Jeopardy. I thought it was the perfect fit. I thought it was the perfect fit. He says, I didn't even get a meeting. No kidding. Oh, my God. I said that as a joke, but wow.

That is crazy. His salary was $150 a day, but soon after HQ Trivia took off, he negotiated a raise. The whole thing tanked. HQ shut down two years later. Talk about fumbling the bag. I never played it, so I don't really know what it was, but it was huge. It was huge, but I never played it either.

It was like Wordle, right? It popped off, and then it just dies out. Yeah, but Wordle's still huge. The HQ trivia is dead. But it is also... I never played it. I've been in the room while someone played. I overheard him.

It's nothing particularly impressive or great. It's just you happen to be the guy who hosted the show where they gave away free money. So he reads the questions and answers and shit, but he just doesn't have it. They gave away free money. Right. How hard is it to host that show? For sure. I'm giving you money.

Tune in. I give you money. How fucking hard is that show to host? We're bringing in crazy viewers. Yeah, you were giving them money. I told my agent to get me a meeting for Jeopardy Oh my god Kill yourself

He has 60,000 followers 60,000 followers Justin Bieber has what Like 150 million Get out of here I got like so mad reading that That is very funny And someone had the gall to reply to me.

He's a comedian, dude. I was like, no. I know what people are being sarcastic. I am good at reading fucking shit on the internet and being like, no, he's kidding. He must be kidding. That dude's not kidding. It's also very loose. It's like, you can just be a comedian.

Where were you a comedian? Show me that. Speaking of comedians for our last topic of one minute man uh shane gillis was our guest for our podcast and also our uh year-end wrap-up meeting where we have literally everyone in the company either come to the office or or uh hop on Zoom for Erica and Dave and everybody to give like a speech, kind of a State of the Union and where we're at. We gave a speech too.

Yeah. Kind of. Kind of. We just talked. We just talked. We didn't really give a speech. I'll tell you why we didn't give a speech, because Shane Gillis stayed for our fucking meeting.

But we also didn't have anything to give. We have something to give a speech about, but it's not official yet, so it feels premature to give the speech about it. Right. So we kind of got up there and said nonsense. We got there and just gave a word salad for a little bit. Yeah. Hey, that's the game, bro.

And then- People are like, you did a great job. I was like, what are you talking about? Eric was like, that was perfect. I was like, first of all, I didn't say anything. Second of all- What are we even talking about? I did not do a great job. There's nothing. But when we get- I know you did a great job. I didn't say anything. Second of all. What are we even talking about? I did not do a great job.

But when we get out. I thought you did a great job. I didn't. It was worth it. We got out of our podcast, and I hear the piano banging, and I hear fucking Francis and his Aryan voice singing. And I was like, oh, this could not be worse for you. You're doing your corny corporate jokey song,

and Shane Gillis is now free. Shane, out of everyone we know, is like the last guy you want when you're doing your nerdy work thing. When you code switch into work mode and it's Shane, he is going to bully you to no end. I saw him run over and get in Francis' eyeline and just go, what are you doing? And you know Francis because Francis gets in his head a little bit. So he's like, bar stools. He probably was like, I'm having a fever dream or something. So then Shane's like, when do you guys go up?

I'm like, dude, I just found out I'm doing this like two minutes ago. We don't usually get invited to these things. I don't know. So he stuck around for like an hour and a half. Yeah, a long time. We went through PowerPoint slides and prerecorded videos and Erica talking and Dave talking and speeches and talking about all sorts of shit. And he just stayed there slugging noons until he was fucking drunk. Just continuously whispering into our ears like, don't fuck up.

No, like things I was thinking, but things you just internalize at a company meeting. I luckily thought that he left by the time we got on stage. Stage. By the time we got the microphone. Otherwise, I would have been like, if you need any help, come see me. Bye. I got a text in the middle of it from Jake Bass, who's still back here editing. He's like, why is Shane Gillis just wandering around?

So that was the thing. He's so big, and he was just kind of meandering through the crowd drunk. And I'm sure people were like, is that? Was that Shane? I don't know. Whatever, man. It's so weird. But just a very funny move.

And then would also turn around and be like, Barstool rules. Yo, he still keeps texting me that. He around and be like, Barstool rules. Yo, he still keeps texting me that. He just randomly keeps texting me Barstool rules. And I kept being like, I was like, shut the fuck up, dude. And he'd be like, dude, I'm being serious. I'm being serious.

I was like, no, you're not. And I'll be honest, he did keep making a face like, I'm being serious. No, I think he, it's what we think about Barstool. Barstool's awesome, but there's parts of it,

and these are the meetings and shit where you're like, ah, like, you know, stop sucking. Listen to the one line that's in here. The only line I made is the vlog. I'm going to come. And I think, again, that is what makes Barstool so unique and so beautiful. That is what makes Barstool so unique and so beautiful.

That's the only line. Barstool rules it. But then he was like, it's been so long since i was like a part of like a team i think that's what he was almost interested in is like to watch like if i somehow could like sneak into a deloitte meeting i would want to just be like how does this work now yeah i don't even know what you guys are doing but uh you know in the comedy world i said like you know the most popular comic on the planet and i realized there's the chapelles and the burrs in the comedy world, I said, like, you know, the most popular comic on the planet. And I realize there's the Chappelle's and the Burr's in the world. When it comes to, like, the comedy world, Shane is, like, the pinnacle right now. And the fact that he was just wandering around our all-hands meeting is ridiculous.

That day he sold out his entire international tour. Right, like, boom, in a minute. His entire international theater tour sold out while he was drunkenly stumbling around the barstool meeting. The highlight of Shane not only being there was at that very moment in the middle of that meeting, Francis found out that he got absolutely fucked by the producers of the rundown when they didn't. I'd kill a bitch. I would... No, I... I'd see it. I don't think I have ever

called for someone to be fired. And I'm not even doing that now. I don't want to call for someone to be fired. But this is the only time I feel like if someone did get fired, I'd be like, you fucking deserve it. Almost every other thing that's happened at Barstool,

I think a suspension or some sort of slap on the wrist, this is like, you're out. You're done. Because this could ruin somebody. If you don't clear with me what I say on a hot mic, like Jackie texts us stuff I say directly into microphones. But she, so I actually think she's even going above and beyond.

That's what I'm saying. Yeah, when we say something, when we're in between the lines and we're recording, when you, the rundown is over and you're just talking. Jackie's almost like a mom like she is she's got a good she's got a good barometer because you sure you want to leave in the thing about the kid dying on the bus i wish that one was a joke that's that's a literal one it's funny because a lot of them come to me first and i'm just like ah just just go straight to them well it's funny as i said go said, that's not even my story. I was like, yeah, leave it in.

No, I mean, obviously, that's what I was going to say. Did you see this tweet? From Francis? Yeah. What? What is it? I didn't want to address it, but the story is everywhere. I got caught on a hot mic saying some stuff I meant to keep private this week.

I'm a transparent person, so here's the audio. I'm embarrassed. This better be funny. I didn't really want to go. Kind of made some jokes about QAnon and some other stuff. And I just feel like there's a lot of people that don't really know that I'm fucking with them. You can't save and expect everyone to, like, get you or, like, get the joke. I don't know.

I mean, I got home and my wife, she was like, do you even want to be associated with these fucking people? And, you know know that was tricky because we actually had big plans for the evening um it was going to be the first night that we tried pegging oh you're serious yeah oh my god bro um we've been talking about it for a while was it sick i i think we chose too big of a piece to start with. So just like a big black rubber dildo? It was green. Why?

Why? Black felt controversial. I feel that. I feel that. That's good. I'm happy he did that because he was bugging out, and rightfully so, when all of a sudden, first of all, Francis is a rescue dog. And he just finds himself.

We had a very open conversation. I hope he doesn't mind me saying it. He was just like, I just always find myself in the middle of shit. I didn't do anything wrong. And, like, yes, I did. Like, I thought I had cancer. I didn't fucking have cancer. Now you think I faked cancer.

I said this thing. It was a joke. I got burned. I'm gone. You know, every few examples of him just being like, I'm just fucking every time, every time I do something, you know? And so I can understand him being like, what the fuck is going on now? But so anyway, I guess I have to recap in case you don't know.

Francis was on the rundown after the rundown ended. He was talking about Fox News and saying, saying you know that he thinks those guys are just kind of like phonies and that they traffic and hate and that they're always just trying to divide the country i thought he came out great when he was like i don't i they traffic and hate and i don't want to be a part of anything that just continues to divide the country i was like bam that's fucking great now you know i don't think tucker cross is going to be asking you to come on very soon and the guys were busting his balls being like it's this is a good thing except for the tens of millions of dollars you probably lost because you could have your own fox news show in about a

week um which is true like he you know he's got the perfect fit he probably could take over for tucker right for francis ellis now um but um it was very funny watching Shane, who he himself is a lot like Francis in the sense that when he got burned with SNL, he is always worried about what he said. He always wakes up the next morning on a podcast being like, fuck, what did I say? Oh, your podcast is coming out with me on it. Like, am I going to get canceled? Is it going to happen again? But he was like, dude, fuck this. You're fine.

And it's like it's so easy to just say that when you're not in the blender this time. But watching Francis, he was laughing and texting and smiling at the meeting. And he was like, I'm having a full-blown panic attack. He's just screaming like the fire meme. Like, oh, my God. He's like, I'm about. I'm crippled with anxiety right now. It's for the best.

But shout out both of those but also fuck the control room i'd fuck i'd fucking dude i'd fucking kill if you're the rundown and he went to them and said this is coming out of the episode right no yes like at that moment oh then you should absolutely be fired i if if he said to me cut that out he said you don't cut it out he goes there was a guy sitting there with headphones on, with a laptop out. He's like, I don't know anybody's name anymore. He's like, headphones on, laptop out, pulling up the shit we were talking about on the television. And when it ended, I said to him, none of that's going to be in the episode, right?

And he said, yes. I mean, I don't know whether that person passed it off to someone else. I mean, that's inexcusable. I was like, did someone do it on purpose? That almost is so crazy. I was like, was someone trying to sabotage you because it's that big of a fuck-up? That is like a, you know.

And it's like you're lucky that it was just a couple Fox News appearances or something, but if he had said something personal, if he had said something about somebody else, I mean, there's a million things. That person should not be allowed to edit the rundown. Or edit any, like, until they gain the trust of a specific content person, then you can edit their

content, I guess. But, like... I do believe the very next day things were happening internally. I don't know what was decided, but I'm pretty sure. That's insane. So if someone says, well, cut that shit out, what I just said, and they don't cut it out, that's fucking nuts. And they're so lucky that Francis is A, like a good dude who's not, like, going to, you know, out to, like, ruin anybody.

And also, like, he's still timid himself. He's like, I don't want to rock the boat. I just got back here. Yeah. But if someone was, like, who was established here that happened to, they'd have you fucking executed. I'd execute myself. Right.

Right. All right. Alright, voicemails, and then we'll get into it with Kumail. What do we got? Mikey Pavs. Who put the got big glove on top? Oh, wait, we also never had Pavs' story. Oh, yeah, yeah, you want to do your disgust? Wait a second. It was my idea.

It was my idea. Wait a minute, wait, wait, wait, before you two children argue, I like the fact that – did you think I was talking about who physically put it on? I was like, I do mean whose idea was it. Because he physically put it on, but it was my idea. I literally was the one who – I saw the gobbledygook and I said, Nick knows. Nick, you remember this.

I love that they're sharing a mic too. They pull it back and forth. I thought you guys decided on that When you were out Doing the stuff I know for a fact that the first thing Hold on Don't have the mic

Literally It was on the fucking desk And I said we should use this as a star And Nick laughed and he said ha that's a good idea That would be ridiculous And then Then you Like I remember you

Like put it on And I was like I have a feeling He's gonna take credit for this No Don't give him the mic You narc I

I like Sprinkled That was the first thing I did When I got here Because I had given the idea Of putting the goppy glove I think maybe We like

You said it to somebody else You even said gape glove and I said goppy glove. We're doing parallel thoughts. Well, I don't know then. You both had the same exact thought. It's on parallel tracks. You both thought of it at the same exact time. You said it to someone else. Pabs was thinking about it on his own. No, he thinks that he did because he heard me

say it. It does seem a little funny if you said it out loud and you just think that she said it to someone else because who else would she be talking to about it? Yeah, but I just don't even remember you telling me that. Oh, something's falling apart. Were you guys drunk? No.

We were dead sober. Nick, you've got to be some sort of tiebreaker here. Colleen would be. We should give her a call. Yeah. I'll call her right now. It should all be on film. No, because this was before we started vlogging. Are you calling her? I'm calling her now. It should all be on film. No, because this was before we started vlogging.

Are you calling? I'm calling. Oh, okay. Because while we were decorating, I think Colleen had the camera. Yeah. But I said it before we got the tree. Yeah, I don't remember that. Hello?

Hey, Colleen. Quick question. Whose idea was it to put the gape glove on top of the tree for the star? They never talked about it? Hey, Colleen, quick question. Whose idea was it to put the Gape glove on top of the tree for the star? Ooh, I don't know who found it to put it on. No, whose idea was it? Idea? Mm-hmm. Yours?

Oh! Colleen! That was a kill shot! That was a kill shot! No, are you kidding me? No, I'm going to call Colleen. No, no, hold on. Hold on, call her me? No, I'm going to call Colleen. No, no, hold on. Hold on.

Call her back. Wait, I'm going to call Colleen. Call Colleen back on Jackie's line. Hi, Colleen. Just a quick question. How dare you? Hey, girl. What's up?

Hey, are you sure that you remember Pavs and not me? Because, like, don't you remember me saying let's put the copy glove on top of the tree? I know that you remember that, girl. You were too busy trying to take the bobblehead top to the top. Say that again?

I think you were too busy trying to take the bobblehead top. No, I did take the bobblehead, but before the bobblehead. Oh, no. No, no, I did take the bobblehead But before the bobblehead, you know what? You're a good day Colleen How confident were you that she was gonna say you when you were on the phone with her. I just, 100%. That was a great moment of education. Jackie, that sucked. Hey, girl.

Hey, girl. Just want to say hi. That was very funny. Great moment. Great moment. Okay, voicemails. This one's brought to you by Allbirds. With winter weather making it hard to stay active,

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This morning, I... It's going to be top to top, laying in your own piss, but continue. I think this beats it. Oh, wow. At least to me, because I hate this stuff. This morning, I went to go brush my teeth and noticed my toothbrush was in a weird spot. I just didn't like the way where it was. And I was like, hey, text my group chat.

I share a bathroom with two dudes. Anybody touch my toothbrush this morning? Use it for something? was and i was like hey uh text my group chat to i share a bathroom with two dudes right anybody like touch my toothbrush this morning like use it for something and they're like one of the guys wrote back that's my toothbrush i was like you guys have been i said no no no no that i said no that's my toothbrush and he said i've been using that toothbrush for that six months i'm like bro yours is the green one. Mine's the blue. He's like, my favorite color is blue.

That's my toothbrush. Because we bought a two-pack together. So just two brushes and one is just sparkling brand new over there. No, no. One is just not there anymore. So I thought that he was just using his own, like bringing his toothbrush back into his room so it doesn't get dirty. And he thought the same thing. He thought the same thing.

Oh, my God. And they're, like, really, really similar colors. Yo, that is the most I'm living with three dudes in a very real story I've ever fucking heard, man. Dude, so you and your boy have been sharing a toothbrush for, like, six months, you say? Six months. Bro, first of all, that's too long to have a toothbrush. Well, maybe not six months. Maybe, like, fucking American Dental Association over here.

Maybe like four months. Okay, so technically it's eight months of use out of a toothbrush. That is... Kevin and I are both team. If I need a toothbrush and a pinch, I'll grab a toothbrush. But dude, you have not been in a pinch. You've just been waking up and just kissing your boy. You know that every morning is fucking whiskey breath and fucking Domino's food.

You think he's fucking been wiping his tongue with it? I don't know what you're saying. He's got the white teeth in the world. I don't brush my tongue. I don't do that. What? You've got to brush your tongue. No, I don't brush my tongue.

Your tongue is where the fucking is. My gag reflex isn't good enough. Well, we know that. Shit. I not only brush the tongue, I kind of let the fucking toothpaste, like, go in the back of my throat. Well, I use mouthwash, which I think,

I don't think millennials do. I think that's kind of a thing of yesteryear, but I'm a mouthwash guy. Every day? Every time? Every time, yeah. Listerine? I do Listerine.

First thing when I wake up. Cool mint? Cool mint, whatever the blue one is. It's the standard color. It's not the standard color. The OG, the brown one. OG Listerine is like a little bit lighter than this. And my dad, when we were growing up, used to do that.

My grandfather used to do that. Yeah, that was like – and then I feel like in my lifetime, Cool Mint came about. And I think it was like a big deal. And my dad was like, fuck that. Like, that doesn't actually clean you or whatever. And I was like, why are you guys drinking like turpentine? How about you just fucking clean it, like make it tasty here? That is one of the more disgusting things I have heard, though.

I actually ultimately don't think it's that gross because I never said. Nah, dude. That much is gross. Sharing a toothbrush is gross, but it's not a victimless crime. It's a results-less crime. It's just something that in your head you're like, that's fucking gross. You know what I mean? You could go to a dentist and be like, why are there fucking cockroach eggs in your head?

Is he gross? He's pretty gross. Are you the gross one or he's the gross one? I'm so much cleaner. So I lose in this situation. He kind of wins. Yeah, he wins. He's like, oh, I'm getting whatever my ass has in his seat.

He gets to kiss me. Yeah. That is really a great representation of post-college life. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Like me and my... We share a bedroom and a Yeah. Oh, yeah. Like me and my, we share a bedroom and a toothbrush.

And a toothbrush. That is so funny, that moment of like, what do you mean you have a toothbrush? It is. I mean, that's straight up a new girl.

Did you move my toothbrush? I moved my toothbrush. What do you mean? The, that's the, see if you can pull the new girl towel scene. Yeah.

Towels is, is, what do you, what's your towel switch these days? We talked about, I have 10,000 towels now. See if you can pull the new girl towel scene. Towels is... What's your towel switch these days? I have 10,000 towels now. I only have like four good ones, but I have like a million. Towels are like jeans to me. I get a bunch of them and I still only rock with a few. Dude, I love this scene.

This scene, I'm very much Nick in this scene. I'm glad you pinched a fifth because my towel is very dry. I didn't pinch a fifth. I just... Damn! Damn it! Everybody, bathroom now! What's up, Dad?

What, Schmidt? Someone playing a joke on me? Honestly, why is my towel still damp? Because it's not your towel. It's my towel, Schmidt. No, it's not your towel. Your towel's the red one. I'll tell you this, pal.

I've never used that. I do use that one every single day. Oh, no. This towel's so warm and fluffy, it's like it's been in the sun forever. This means you two have been drying your junk with the same towel. Intimate. Are you out of your mind? What do you mean I'm out of your mind? How do you think this is your towel?

Do you even wash it? No, I don't wash the towel. The towel washes me. Who washes a towel? You never wash. You wash your towel? You never wash your towel? What am I going to do?

Wash the shower next? You got to think here, pal. I'm furious right now. I get out of the damn shower. I'm clean as a damn baby. And I use the towel. Let me ask you this. Have you been wearing my underpants?

Sometimes, yeah. Who cares? You guys don't wear each other's underpants. You're lying. We all wear's underpants. You're lying. We don't wear each other's underpants. Towels is a weird one that I learned pretty quick in college. I did figure, like, I'm clean. It's okay.

You need to wash your towels. Towels get gross. Towels get gross when you live with a chick. Towels get gross because they fucking... Is it because of their pussy? No, because of their makeup. Oh, their makeup. What's the difference? It's gotta be the vagina. It took me a few times

when I was living with a lady before I worked up the gall to ask her. How'd you do that? I'm shitting on these towels. You know we got toilet paper, right? I was like, what's the deal with all the brown on these towels? We're using them to clean my makeup. I was like, all right, that makes more sense.

You guys take it off. You guys get in the shower. Well, yeah, there's just always residue. Yeah, it's everywhere. Even if you use the wipes and shit, it's just everywhere. It's like women are constantly melting. They're melting candles. Chicks are just melting candles at all times.

It's like a wicked witch. It's going to melt into a pile of clothes one day. Never in my life had I ever used bleach, and I still don't use bleach. But we had a big jar of bleach. I was like, what's that for? It's like, we wash the towels and we wash the sheets. Why do we need to do that? Because they're disgusting.

Because I'm melting all over everything. Yeah. Oh, God. The hair, too. The hair is everywhere. Everywhere. Everywhere. I just think, I don't get why the towels do get gross, because they do.

I know you're saying you don't wash them, but you shit in them a little while. I just, I don't, here's how you don't have to wash towels. You got three, keep them in rotation. Yes. But eventually. Nah. But eventually. Nah. But like what is getting. So that means you're not as clean as you think. You know.

If your towel. If your towels get. I don't know. I don't think anything getting wet is eventually going to get a little musty. Right. I guess just. But if you. You know.

If you do hang it. It should just. It should be like theoretically dry. Clean water. But I guess. Yeah. water just makes things gross. By the way, speaking of all this, I think I figured out why. We talked about once why it's always right at your butthole that your boxes blow out. For you, yeah.

It's not just for me. It's for you, too. The rips, you mean? Like where the hole starts. Yes, yes, yes, yes. I's for you, too. The rips, you mean? Like, where you're just like, the hole starts. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yeah, yeah. I think I figured out why. Because, why? Itchy butthole.

So you go in, and you're rubbing it. So you go in, and you scratch a little bit. Yeah, yeah, that makes perfect sense. So it's the only place that's getting some friction in there. It's the itchy asshole. Figured that out yesterday. I had an itchy butthole. Oh, itchy is your asshole.

Oh, sometimes you're, I mean, if you're itchy enough. Oh, God, on an itchy day? It's the worst. Yo, I'll go home. I'll be like, I'm sick. I got to get out of here. I'll be at the bar. I'll be like, I'm out.

I got to go home. I'm like a dog dragging its ass across the living room floor. What's the matter? Nothing. I'm fine. It's all good. Wait, what? You need some of that?

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Nick, Jackie, KFC, Fights, Miss UBC. So I just broke the thumb on my right hand, and I was good with it for a minute, a couple hours actually, and then I realized, this is a problem. Not because I can't write, not because I can't type, but, I mean, what am I, did I learn to fucking J-J-O lefty? Nah, that's just not... I've tried before. I've tried again. It's not going to fucking work. Who was in the car with this dude?

Well, I know what I'm going to... Anyways. Love you guys. You're the best. Thank you. Dale. Dale. I would like it if everyone starts ending voices with Dalai.

That would be great. That would be great. That's the new thing. We should all do that. Sign off our phone calls, our text messages, our emails, everything. Dalai. I'm doing it for sure. Not only get excited.

Dalai. Just Dalai. All right. One. Peace. Dalai. I don't know what you do in a situation like this.

Luckily, I've only ever broken fingers or knuckles on my right hand. I mean, you jerk off lefty. I jerk off lefty, but like, I don't think I could. You also can do, depending on your situation, you can do your right wrist

like I fucked up a shoulder I feel like if you fuck up an elbow you can't like but if you can just kind of go like but you would you do is you go you go lefty until you're like almost there and then switch to righty wrists but if I mean if you if you have a broken he's in a hand right He has no thumb Thumb Thumb's an important part of this Cause I mean that's where the cast is And the cast Okay so he has no hand

I mean you just jerk off lefty Nah you're wrong What do you do Dude it's fucking 2022 You fucking toy Yeah Fine Yeah

But yes Okay well that should be your answer No matter what by the way Broken hands Funging hands Fuck toys When I was breaking my hands back in the day They weren't toys around.

Lucky for you. These kids these days, Mr. Fucking Fleshlights and spinning tornado. Amazon.com. You can fuck them. You can fuck eggs. You can fuck those little eggs you fuck. You can fuck fucking pussies. You can fuck mouths. You can fuck

butts. You can fuck mouths. You can fuck hands. You can fuck everything. You go to Amazon.com. You can fuck mouths. You can fuck butts. You can fuck mouths. You can fuck hands. You can fuck everything. You go to Amazon.com. You can fuck anything. Anything. I bet they got fucking dogs you can fuck if you want. If that's what you want. It is.

It is another one of those things we talk about. Look, they should probably just make dogs you can fuck for people who want to fuck dogs. And that way they don't go fuck dogs. They just fuck the rubber dogs. They should just find out. I'm just an ideas man. If you want to end bestiality, dog fuckers. They should go find out the top ten most problematic fetishes and make those things fuckable.

Yeah. Done. Although it also might be like one of those things too where you're like, well, now I've had a taste. Well, yeah, that is the concern. That is the concern. Fucking that toy dog was pretty good. That is the concern.

You just got to go fuck a rambunctious one now. You've got to get like an Oculus thing attached to it so some sort of virtual reality so that they don't go like, all right, I've got to go do the real thing. But let me tell you this much. What animal would be the best to fuck? In real life or a fake one? Like a rubber one or a real life one?

Whichever one you want to answer. I don't think fucking a real animal of any sort would be fun. Well, no. Why? Just checking. So I think the best rubber one to fuck To be clear I also have no interest in fucking animals

I think a hippo A hippo? Like a hippo Like you'd fuck it from behind And be like Big ass Bro A hippo

Is That is speaking Speaking Highly of myself Quite highly of yourself Yeah Oh how about this I'll tell you what

I don't think I could fuck a hippo How about those baboons That show their ass off Yeah Little red Little red butted baboon Is tell you what, I don't think I could fuck a hippo. How about those baboons that show their ass off? Yeah, little red-butted baboons, is that what they're called? Yeah, and I could just fuck that. That reminds me of that scene from White Lotus. He looked like a little baboon with a little ass out. Which one?

I haven't seen it. What were we talking about earlier today with the dick on the butt? What? Were we talking about different scenes? I think so. I guess so. I think you were talking about what they were talking about in Wine Country, but that happened the episode before.

I think we're talking about different things. Yeah? Yep. Okay. Yep. But anyway, a chimpanzee is a good animal to fuck because it's close to human. You fuck the closest thing genetically, DNA-wise, to a human.

That's the answer. What happens if you cum in a chimpanzee? You get shingles. You probably... I don't think you can do that. No? I don't think... You can crossbreed, right?

I think you can, if you're the same species. I don't think you can do interspecies... Crossbreeding? No? I don't think so. You get AIDS when you get Speaking of crossbreeding fun fact Do you know that

life can never give you lemons? Because life didn't invent lemons Humans did Did you know that I'm going to give you a fucking punch in the mouth?

What? Is this a true thing. Lemons are not a creation of the earth. It's a genetically created thing. It was from cross-breeding citron and a sour orange. It was Italians, man. No. The origin is actually up in the air.

But it was... I think it's attributed to old school China. I heard that we don't know who invented cannons. Really? Yeah. Google that. I didn't fact check that, but I heard that

the people who They got a pretty good answer there. They put that in bold font write in like we don't know who invented cannons because there was like examples of it being um like them being there but then when people tried to recreate it they like exploded or some shit like that

like they can never recreate um yeah I don't know. Maybe this person was just wrong. I'll do research. I'll come out with the next one. That would be, if someone just, like, played me with that, that's a funny, that's a good one. Like, you know what?

We don't even know. We invented cannons. That was, that was pretty cool. It was Chinese. Pretty much the Chinese. They did everything. They did it all. The Chinese and the Jews.

They did it all. The Chinese and the Jews. They did it all. Anyway. Jerk off with your left hand. Fuck anything you want. Put a bag of Vaseline in the microwave, stuff that in the couch, and then fuck that. I think there's still a stigma about boys fucking toys.

Yeah, there is. And I think we need to do a rally, John, and we'll call it Toys for Boys. I don't know. Toys for Boys. I don't really like it, to be honest. Huh? I know you don't. I'm yet to find one I enjoy.

No, you just don't like the cleanup. I don't like the cleanup, but it's also, it's not like, even if I didn't like the cleanup, but if fucking it was so amazing, I'd still have to keep doing it. Trust me. I've dealt with worse than cleanup to fuck things I like fucking. I think that it should just be normalized that if you do that, it's okay. Yeah, no. But right now, you get caught with a fucking.

Nah. You know what? Never mind. I think you're a fucking weirdo. Exactly. Exactly. Yep. You get caught with a rubber doll, a toy, or a. Yeah, dude. You get caught with a whole doll. You are. You get caught with a rubber doll, a toy,

or a... You get caught with a whole doll, you are... You get caught with a whole doll, you're a weirdo just because you don't need a whole doll. Yeah, that's that little dicky shit. If you got one of those just like the fucking butts, I guess through your thing, I wouldn't be... Everybody should fuck a rubber butt. Why is that not just

like, yeah, you have your vibrator, I got my rubber butt. But a guy does that oh boy red flag galore chick fucks yourself with a goddamn power drill no problem yeah oh oh this one it sucks my clit okay pervert you know they're right they're right it's two genders man it's not fair shit dude speaking of the two genders, did you see the fucking two nominees for ensemble cast this year? No. It is Women Talking is one movie. I don't even know what the movie's about. Let's figure it out real quick before I go further.

It's called Women Talking. Women Talking is a drama. Women in isolated religious colonies struggle to reconcile with their faith after a series of sexual assaults. Okay. That's number one for Ensemble Cast. Okay. Number two for Ensemble Cast. Jackass Forever.

Yes. The two gender series. Yes. Yes. Oh, it's a bunch of chicks whining about getting married and then it's guys hit each other in the cock that's a drama that's a fiction

so that joke can stay in the way that your voice oh this is a great episode i'm really enjoying i mean not a non-fiction but whatever this is really good all right last one 10 a.m already you idiot you had the fucking full screen, didn't you? Mangled. I just listened to your Shane Gilley and Kiefer episode. And just with the comedian

thing, being from Canada, I wonder, who's your favorite Canadian comedian? I know you've had a couple of them on your show, but just wondering who your top ones are. Hey, have a good one. Ryan Long's very funny.

I don't even know Canadian. I don't see that kind of thing. You don't see borders. I don't see borders, man. I just know comedians. I mean, I'll Google Canadian comedians. Dan Levy is a funny guy. I don't know if he's really a comedian per se.

Ryan Long's funny. Jim Carrey. Jim Carrey. Jim Carrey. Jim Carrey's the answer. I've never known Jim Carrey. See, also comedian like Seth Rogen's the first thing that comes up. Is Seth Rogen a comedian? I think all these guys at some point you do stand up so you get credit like that, but it's like

same thing with Jay Leno and these guys. It's like you're not really... Oh, our boy Howie. He's cool. Howie Mandel is a cool Canadian. There's this dude. I think his name is Mark something. Will Arnett's Canadian? Again, I think of Will Arnett as an actor.

Norm. I'm going to go Canadian stand-up. The answer probably was Norm, RIP. Yeah, I mean, I don't know, man. Who gives a fuck, by the way? Like, this is not enough of a... You know when people say, like, she's a funny female comedian, and you're like, we don't need the disclaimer.

It's like, well, yeah, you don't need it, but there's enough of a conversation about it because you know there's lesser people in the pool and it is harder to to break out but then also maybe it might be easier these days like there's enough of a of a difference to maybe talk about you know that she is a female versus the males or you could say of color she's the first person of color to do this because thing you know obviously there's a lot of other hurdles to get through to be like i'm the canadian comedian and nobody cares yeah like that that does not affect you negatively it doesn't affect you positively you're just a comedian who's a little bit more north right that's it you know

like ryan long was just like uh i just was in toronto instead of new york so i moved a couple hundred miles that's it you know i couldn't i wouldn't have i wouldn't be able to tell you a canadian comedian a single one i guess there are again i'm not i'm not i don't know i'm not counting will arnett i'm not counting fucking jim carrey again i'm not counting seth rogan martin short i'm, Mike Myers I don't... That doesn't count But I will say, a lot of actors I'm sure you did stand-up comedy at some point

But I don't know, I don't see you as... That's a diesel clue Even fucking Tracy Morgan, who still does stand-up regularly, very successfully He's an actor now He got actor slash comedian Definitely Oh, real quick, for sure You're an actor

For sure I'm not being negative about that at all No But that's why the answer was Norma Donalds. Yeah. Norma is still, I think, as a comedian. I agree with that. All right.

Let's get into our interview with Kumail. It's brought to you by Beard Guys. With a Z. With a Z. With a Z. Guys with a Z. It offers a comprehensive collection of beard care products for all types of facial hair and skin types.

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Now, the beard is very hot in the streets. Like, for the last decade plus, I feel like. I would say 15. Well, that's like century, right? But, like, for guys now, I think you got to have at least some scruff for the ladies to like you. Or a jawline. Jawline's really the preferable way to go. Well, that's really why.

That's what it is. It's either got to be hot or have a beard. Yeah. And then if you're hot and you have a beard you kind of take off um but what i i don't think people realize what comes along with having a beard is there is another level of skin care remember when portnoy started with his beard you have that dandruff everywhere yeah he's like i didn't know i never had a beard before you know like chunks of skin flying off because you got to take care of it you got to wash it the same way you have like hair on your head it just goes a little lower you got to take care of the beard on your face um so you got to wash it and tame it it's a two-in-one washing

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and then you can have a full big beard, and I can't get by the itch. So I will be using that beard oil. Craft your beard care routine today at beardguys.com. That's beardguys, G-U-Y-Z,.com. What's up, brother? I'm good. How are you doing? Good, man.

We are fantastic. We're thrilled to have you. Wow, thanks for having me. Thanks for having me. We were just kind of running through your resume real quick before you came in, and I would say business is going good, man. It's been, you know, I keep thinking it's going to stop at some point. Yeah, I have that feeling too.

I always have that. Except I don't have near the success. You have that feeling about me? Yeah. It's going to stop at some point. I was thinking always have that. Except I don't have near the success. You have that feeling about me? Yeah. It's going to stop at some point. I was thinking, enjoy it while you can, pal. You don't deserve this.

I've said it about Jon Bernthal before where I think his goal is to be in everything ever. And I feel like you're running up on it. I mean, between, you got Marvel, Star Wars, The Boys,

on top of all the others. Most importantly, Veep and Franklin Bash. Can't forget Franklin Bash. Star Wars yeah The Boys on top of all the others most importantly Veep and Franklin Bash Veep Franklin can't forget Franklin Bash Franklin Bash there was a time

we thought we brought back Franklin Bash we thought we saved Franklin Bash what do you mean we spoke to both Mark Paul Gosselaar and Breckin Meyer

and we had two separate interviews and we both loved he really loves Franklin Bash and we talked about how we talked about how that was like ripe you know all these shows that get reboots and picked up on streaming and we were saying how we talked about how that was like ripe, you know, all these shows that get reboots and picked up on streaming and we were saying

how it's ripe for that and then like shortly after we did these interviews Brecken put out a post that was very like cryptic. He was like drinking a mug and he was like on the set and then Mark Borgesa The mug said Franklin Bash They retweeted it and we were like

it was right after our interview and we did a campaign We did like a hashtag said Franklin Bash. And they retweeted it, and we were like, it was right after our interview. And we did a campaign. So this is like a hashtag, save Franklin Bash. This is after the show was off the air. Oh, wow. Yeah, yeah. This is maybe a year or two. And we were like, we did it. We saved Franklin Bash with our hashtag and our retweets.

And then nothing ever came from it. Wow. By the way, are we already filming? Yeah, this is it. Oh, great. I love it. I love that. way, are we already filming? Yeah, this is it. Oh, great. I love it. I love that. Man, that would have been cool.

If you were just doing Franklin and Bash right now instead of Welcome to Chippendales, which is arguably the best new show on television. Oh, thank you.

That's awesome. And I actually pulled up a tweet that I have that from six days ago. This is not for you. Where I said, no, what did I say? He means it.

He's not just saying it. Not enough people are talking about the fact that Shippin' to Hells is awesome and maybe the best new show on TV. Oh, I completely agree. I absolutely love it. Honestly. I don't even know why I have maybe in there. Of course. It is.

I can't think of another one. What else is there? Nothing else. Let's dunk on some other people. Let's dunk on some shows people, huh? Let's dunk on some shows. You know what's interesting? So when I did Franklin and Bash, that was like my first real acting, acting gig. I was full of fear the entire time.

Those two guys always hazed me. I love those guys, Mark Paul and Breckin. But yeah, they used to call me Taft Hartley, which is, Taft Hartley is, is you know so to be in a TV show you have to be a SAG member you have to join SAG but your first job

that you do if you don't have SAG they like let one go like you could do one without being in SAG and that's called the Taft Hartley

exception so they called me Taft Hartley they're like oh Taft Hartley's here and it was my first job and then I remember they know though man between season one and two like I gained a bunch of weight just because I finally Hartley. They're like, oh, Taft Hartley's here. It was my first job, and then I remember, like,

between season one and two, like, I gained a bunch of weight just because I finally had money, and they're like, oh, okay, this is how it is. Like, you're on season two of a show, man. Get it tight. But, this character of Steve for Chippendales, actually, a little bit of him is from Pinder

in Franklin and Bash. It's just a little, little bit. I noticed that as I was playing him, I was like, oh, there's a little bit of Pinder in Franklin and Bash. It's just a little, little bit. I noticed that as I was playing him, I was like, oh, there's a little bit of, there's a little bit of Pinder in this guy. I mean, what a story.

Can you pinpoint which parts? It's just that he, how awkward he is and how he's like not great with people and there's like a weird, because I had a hard time, dudes,

figuring out how to play this guy on Chip and Dills. I've never played a guy who's this, can I swear? Yeah, oh yeah. He's aales. I've never played a guy who's this. Can I swear? Oh, yeah.

He's a motherfucker. He's like a bad guy. Which, honestly, I just kind of realized in maybe episode three or four, when the first two dropped, I was like, he's a little awkward, but I don't think he's really villainous. And then I accidentally spoiled the show for myself

because I was trying to find out who plays Ray Cologne. So I knew he recognized him. So I googled it and I don't want to spoil it for the listeners. Also, I hate that people think you can spoil what happened in reality. This already spoiled my life. Life happened.

I remember when Straight Outta Compton came out. People were like, EZE dies? Wait, why? I haven't gotten to it yet. But the, but I will refrain from spoiling it, but it is,

it gets so much darker than I even expected. You don't even, I mean. And there's a murder-suicide in episode two, and it gets a lot darker. I think it's because

it's chipping down, people think it's gonna be this like funny tale of how you started the male stripping exotic world. And it's grimy and it's seedy. Right. It really is. Very raw.

It's not Magic Mike. No. Yeah. Exactly. It's not Magic Mike. No shade to Magic Mike. No, no. Magic Mike's amazing.

A phenomenal series in an American cinema. I love it. Can't wait for the final dance. I think it's all beautiful. Very exciting. Yeah. It's going to be great. But what I love about this one is people think it's going to be beautiful. Very good. Yeah, it's going to be great. But what I love about this one is, you know,

people think it's about Chippendales and dancing. Not really. It's a true crime story. Like, really crazy shit happens. People, multiple people get murdered. Things get set on fire. It's a really intense story. And what I loved about playing this guy was,

what I wanted to do was have this guy in the beginning, you kind of root for this guy because he's such a loser, you know? Kind of root for this guy. He's a little bit like likable. There's like a kid quality to him. And then the thing that you love about him in the beginning is the exact thing that makes you hopefully hate him.

So that was the trick for me. I was like, how do I keep him the same guy? That's a good sign for you, I think. I always have a problem when actors play like sick people a little too well it kind of scares me like if you can just slide into like saw and be you know the bad guy or some shit slide into oh man i'm like or or or you know the guys like eli roth and uh guillermo like the people who like have these concepts and are known for that

yeah I'm like or if you can come up with a really good crime movie I'm like you're kind of a criminal you're kind of a murderer if you can do those things that easily

so I'm the fact that you struggled with it I think it's like okay you're a good dude it took a while for me to figure it out I will say you know with Guillermo del Toro

I'm such a fan of both those guys Eli scares me more than Guillermo del Toro because Guillermo del Toro is like there's a fairy of both those guys. Eli scares me more than Guillermo del Toro because Guillermo del Toro is like, there's a fairy and it'll rip your face off. That won't happen. But Eli's like, this person's going to cut your Achilles heel. You could really have it.

That could happen. That's probably where he got it. He's probably seen the video. I bet you people have seen Saw and then done some of those things. And that blood is on Eli Roth fans. That man's a murderer. He's an accomplice.

He's an accomplice to murder. In defense of Eli Roth and maybe not in defense. New meal is just going, okay. I'm staying out of this. You guys take this. I think the Achilles heel slice happened first in Kill Bill. Did it? Well, then that's on fucking Quentin Tarantino. It first in Kill Bill. Did it? Well, then that's on fucking Quentin Tarantino.

It happens in Kill Bill. I'm just not sure which movie came out first. Man, that is. No, The House of Wax. I think you're thinking of. That was a. A lot of Achilles have been sliced. That's what we're learning.

You get Kill Bill and House of Wax. No, it definitively happens in Kill Bill. She, when she wakes up in the hospital bed and she. Yeah, she's trying to walk. No, but that's not. It's not cut. She just can't walk, right? But she cuts the other guy, so he can't walk either but that's not it's not cut she just can't walk but she cuts the other guy

so he can't walk either and then she starts slamming his head in the door going where's Bill where's Bill I'm not getting it confused this is gonna make it

I wanna say this is gonna make it real heavy but let's not let's see if we can save it okay let me finish the sentence and we'll see

if I can get us out of the darkness we're pretty good at doing heavy and not caring, so it's okay. So in that movie, she's in a coma for a long time, and she wakes up, and she's crawling around doing it. And here we go. Let's see how quickly I can get out of this. My wife now, many years ago, was in a coma for like eight days.

And when she woke up, she couldn't move for like really took her like she had to learn to like move again. And watching that movie, that was the part of me that we were both like that's bullshit even if she's Beatrice Kiddo she's not going around cutting Achilles heels

nobody can do that shit she's gonna do physical therapy for three weeks and then maybe maybe be able to crawl into the pussy wagon I feel like I did a good job

of getting out of that you did a great job I don't think Kill Bill would be the same if she was using a walker for two weeks. No, it wouldn't be. Doing the elastic bands. I can also. Yeah, I know. A flotation tank.

Give us a montage. Bring it into reality a bit where when I was in, it was probably 2007 maybe, I had an appendectomy on the same night that Ben Roethlisberger had an appendectomy. Uh-huh. And he was playing quarterback before I could walk again. He played that Thursday, didn't he? He was playing quarterback before I could watch Talladega Nights and laugh because it hurt my stitches too much. Oh, wow.

That just shows the haves and the have-nots, man. That's it. It's not him. American healthcare system. It's the doctors. That's right. And the drugs. And the very drugs the professional athletes have.

You see him on TV playing football. The most physically demanding sport there is while you're at home. Like, I can't watch Talladega Nights. If I laugh. My buddy came over to try and cheer me up. He's Like, I can't watch Talladega Nights. If I laugh. My buddy came over to try and cheer me up. He's like, hey, bro, Talladega Nights. I was like, hell yeah. Pop it in.

Three scenes in, I was like, turn it off. Turn it off. On Schindler's List. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Put on Schindler's List. That'll make me feel better. You guys are Franklin and Bash fans. That's awesome.

Wow. When's the last time you got that brought up in an interview? You must get that pretty regularly. It is a cult classic. People do bring it up. People do love that. When we were trying and thought we did so to bring it back, the amount of fans that rallied behind it,

it's one of those comfort TV things that you watch on. And this was also pre the total takeover of streaming. So I think a lot of people should watch it on like TNT and TBS right that's when like lead-ins mattered you know

just leave the TV on see what's next but I'll tell you when we were on we were getting crushed by Rizzoli and Isles not a joke you motherfuckers

it was on at the same time and people were like well more of a Rizzoli and Giles Rizzoli and Isles person yeah we need like a cage match Franklin and Bash. Rizzoli and Isles person. Yeah. We need like a cage match. Franklin and Bash versus Rizzoli and Isles.

I mean, I might take Rizzoli. I've met Brecken. I might take Rizzoli and Isles. I know. It's basically, it's a two-on-one. What's funny is how like there was one time where after, I don't know what season it was, but Brecken showed up like super jacked

because he'd been doing P90X. That was the hard thing back then. Because it was the season where we'd moved to like the beach. And so these guys were just like, maybe in this episode, I'm shirtless the whole bunch. They were just like begging for it. So you're showing up like super jacked. And I'm in, you know, season three of just putting on weight at a rapid rate.

Was this your way of sliding in how you've gotten super jacked? Yeah, why did it take so long to bring it up? I feel like you get body shamed all the time, so we're going to wait for the end for you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Leave me in a shitty mood. That's great that you guys bring a Franklin Bash. I'm like, people still bring it up.

I'm like, I've done a few things since then. That's the thing. We had Josh Gad on, and we ran through all of his resume as well. And he's also a super fan of New Girl. And he had one episode? He did like two, a total of ten minutes. Josh has done a lot of awesome shit, and he's like the number one thing people yell at me is Bearclaw

it's like a relatively bit role on New Girl that's the thing if you get a cool name on a show people will yell at you so I get yelled Dinesh before that it was Pinder very memorable and I think that's an important thing

I think Mike Judge who did Silicon Valley is very good at that he's great at finding names that people will remember. That is true. Big Head, what a great name. Guilfoyle, what is that name? Yes. So I think that's an important part of it. I was waiting to see if you were going to –

it looks like you're just going to be jacked for life now. Once you got that lifestyle, I was wondering if it's like, yeah, he got it for like the Marvel movies, but we'll see if he goes back. And I feel like you ain't going back. Well, I mean, for Chippendales, I gained 25 pounds. I was going to ask if you – because you don't – I'm looking at a jaw right now that could cut iron. The jaw is just – it's just – it's not – it's rude is what it is.

I can take the arms and the jaw is rude. It's too much. Yeah, I've been working on it for a couple weeks to spite you guys. Can I tell you this? I did buy something to work on my jaw once. Did you? It didn't work. It's one of those.

It has a. No, no, no, no. I didn't get that one. I got one. You put it to like mouth guard type pieces. Oh, and you chew. And you just chew. Really?

That one seems really stupid. But I also have TMJ. This one kind of seems like it would work. Don't do that if you have TMJ. Did you get locked up? I would do it, and it would just sound like someone was throwing a typewriter down the stairs. It was just cracking and fucking. I had TMJ until a few years ago, and it sort of just went away.

No way. Yeah, there's these massages you could do. This is thrilling for your listeners. Talk about the hats and the hat knobs. I had my TMJ massaged out of my jaw. No, I did it. You talked about YouTube. It really made a difference.

Like I could pop my jaw and now I can't pop my jaw anymore. Oh, man. But I gained a bunch of weight for Chippendales. I gained 25 pounds for it. That's real weight.

I thought maybe they put like prosthetics on your face. What was your weapon of choice to put on all that weight? Cheesecake. Cheesecake. Good one. That's the thickest there is.

You know, the thing is, the studio was like, the producers were like, we want you to gain weight because you can't look like one of the dancers. And again, that's me slipping in that I look like one of the dancers.

I know what it is. It's on camera. We know. I was actually auditioning for dancer number three and they gave me the lead. Exactly. Exactly.

They were like, you, can you gain 25 pounds and look really angry for eight episodes? So they put me in touch with a bunch of nutritionists. I talked to all these Hollywood nutritionists. They're like, this is how you healthily put on weight. This is how you safely do it. And they walked me through all of it.

And I was like, all this sounds boring as shit. I think I can gain weight on my own. If I can't put weight on. I think I can do this. I can do this. That's not the hard part. The hard part is losing it back, cutting it back off. I was eating four massive meals every

single day. Isn't it the best when you have a reason? Yeah. You know? Like if it's for a role or for some reason doctors tell you or whatever. For some reason doctors tell you like, hey, you gotta eat fried chicken and cheesecake four times a day. What doctor are you going to?

When I first... Not the one that Roethlisberger went. When I got married I was on a wedding diet and I wasn't really checking the scale. I didn't really need to lose weight to begin with but I wanted to look in the pictures whatever. And I lost too much

weight and so I hopped on the scale and it was crazy low and it was like three weeks to go and i was like fuck it i got three weeks of doing whatever i want yeah yeah uh but yeah it's uh i'm always impressed with uh you know rob mccallany did it for sunny and well rob is the most i'm friends with rob he has willpower more than any other person I've ever met. He'll call me and he was like, this was a few years ago, he's like, I want to do a show about video games. I think we should create it together. And I didn't have time then.

And I am ultimately much lazier than Rob. And I was like, I don't know if I can do it. He's like, okay, next time. And then now it's in season three of this amazing show. That show's great. I said Rob has been the showrunner for three of the most emotional scenes I've seen in the last two years, which was maybe three years, depending on the times. But that scene, their pandemic special.

I don't know if you saw that one. When he comes in. He hugs Penny. Penny. It begins with a P for sure. Poppy. Poppy. Poppy. Yeah. I don't know if you saw that one. When he comes in. When he hugs Penny. Penny. It begins with a P for sure. Poppy. Poppy. Poppy.

Poppy. Charlotte. Yeah. When he comes and they hug, that's one. When Mac comes out to his father, the dance scene is insane. And then when Charlie. Oh, when Charlie finds his dad. Charlie finds his dad.

Ooh, what a storyline that was. Wow, you guys are really expanding. Ooh, what a storyline that was. Wow, you guys are really expanding. You have to, like, yeah. It used to be like, how do we make the bar successful? Now it's like, we have to carry your dad's corpse up a mountain. They do have such a good way. They will have beautiful drone shots of it. They are unbelievable at flipping that switch.

When it starts raining, he's, like, just yelling at the world. You were supposed to carry me! I was like, oh my god. You know what the thing is? All four of them in that show are all serious, theatrically trained actor-actors. They just happen to be very funny

and they make the most successful comedy of all time. I think that's been the funniest show on the air for 15 years or whatever. The reason those guys can do those things is because they do have that. They all can flip the switch and go super serious. That's really impressive. I've sent that

scene, the Charlie crying scene to multiple friends being like, how fucking sad is this? I like to ruin my friends' days. They're like, I'm there. I love sad stuff. I love sad stuff it makes me happy yeah I agree

Kevin was talking about this with sad songs I said I really don't listen to Taylor Swift a lot because it's sad she's brilliant and the words are very poignant Taylor Swift

the writing and the lyrics are very poignant and it hits in certain spots and I was like I don't want to listen to this right now, it hits in certain spots and I was like, I don't want to listen to this right now. It's like, this is making me sad

and everybody here was like, I like it. He works out to it. Another producer of ours is not here. He said he, he said it makes him happy

which is fucking weird. I've full on worked out to folklore. That is bizarre. And folklore is like the slow stuff. I definitely work out to Midnight's

but like, Midnight's has some bangers on it. I've worked out to folklore when it, but like midnights has some bangers on it. I've worked out to folklore. Oh, you guys are crazy. When I was in there. How does it make you happy? I don't know.

Hey, I'm not that. You ever dump water on yourself when you're in the shower? It feels a little different and fun? When you're in the shower, like a different. You dump the cold water on it? Yeah. I just don't know how to water you freaks. It sort of feels seen, you know?

Where you're like, oh, I felt like that. If she can feel like that, you know, and she's amazing. I mean, I can get down with a catharsis of it. There's definitely been times where I've been sad, and I was like, I just got to get this out of my body. Yeah. So I intentionally put on something sad or watch something, and then it's like, get out of me. But yeah to just be like bopping to work and be like let me depress myself with a breakup

song i love breakup songs my entire life i've just been listening to breakup songs because i didn't you know i didn't really i was not great with girls and so listening to a breakup song was just like oh yeah you you thought you were good with girls? See where it leads. I'm abstaining. This isn't the right thing to do. I'm avoiding that, Bruce Springsteen. Well, that's got to be switching gears. If you were, I would imagine, when did you get married?

We just celebrated our 15 years. 15 years, wow. We got married right after, as soon as she learned to walk again she was walking down the aisle was that the deal I'll marry you when you get to walk again was there a time though in between like were you you know not good with girls

all of a sudden get some roles things change with the ladies no because I mean I've known Emily for so long we met when I was doing all of a sudden get some roles. Things change with the ladies? No. Because I've known Emily for so long. We met when I was doing open mics. So I honestly somehow really genuinely scored someone way out of my league in every way. She just liked me.

Novel concepts for some relationships out there. Sometimes I'm looking at people and I'm like, I don't think you guys like each other. You guys should just not date because you don't like each other. I know. We have like married friends who are like, we're going to couples counseling. We're like, or just call it quits. Right. Don't go to counseling.

Just call it a day. The counselor should be like, bring up. Right. I think the liking thing is the most important. More important than love, brother. More important than love brother more important than love you should love them but can you tolerate

them every day and enjoy their company every day exactly big fights with an ex-girlfriend about that over like versus love I would be like

I like you that's not love I think it's more important it is well that's a loophole and I get what she was mad about you were like 18

we were super young I'm totally in like with you. So philosophical and 18. Like is more important than love. I hope you got slapped. I did. I did. In fact, that's a funny story, Kumail.

I'm glad you brought it up. There was a scene. Now, I have a little, you're a very important part of my dating life, just so you know. I think the first movie I watched with a girl, if they haven't seen The Big Sick, I make it The Big Sick. It's The Big Sick. It gets the ladies going. It's got everything. You guys are sick fucks. It's funny.

You're sick fucks. It's romantic. It's a perfect first date movie. But there's a move you pull in that movie that's been pulled against me before, and you were the first time I ever saw it used publicly. And you're using it for good, but most things can also be used for evil. You actually may be responsible for a lot of

breakups and fights and heartache that you don't even realize, sir. I thought it was a girlfriend who, I thought she invented this. And she used my thumb while I was unconscious to turn my phone on. He was asleep. I was asleep.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It wasn't a coma. He was asleep. That's how most people think, unconscious. No, if you say I'm unconscious, that doesn't mean I have to go be unconscious in bed. Yeah. I got my solid eight hours of unconscious last night. Right, no, you were asleep.

People don't talk like that. I was drunk. I was stone sober. Best case scenario with unconscious is you were drunk. And she used my phone and she searched her name in my text, which I didn't have anything to add. How long ago was this? A long, long time ago. And it was like.

You still had the, you know, you can't even do it now. Let me ask you this first before I say anything else. Are you still with that person? No, no. A major red flag. I mean, he continued to date her for like seven more years.

But... Did you? After that? Yeah. TMJ's kicking in like... Seven more years. The biggest of red flags... You know what?

It was the biggest red flag in the regular world. And in that world, that was her smallest red flag. That was like light work. Things went wrong. But that pink flag. That move is dirty. When I saw you do that, I thought she'd invented that. I thought that was like, I'd never heard of such a thing.

I'd never considered such a thing. And I saw you do that. And you used it for good. You used it to call Emily's parents. Yeah'd never heard of such a thing. I'd never considered such a thing. And I saw you do that movie. And you used it for good. You used it to call Emily's parents. Yeah, yeah. A very different thing. Well, I'm glad I could contribute to the pile of red flags that you were accruing. I'm telling you, there were girls out there.

Oh, my God. It happens to other people. There were girls out there watching that movie, and they're like drying their eyes, and they're like, oh, wait a minute, though. Oh, hang on. Is that movie? Is Hubby asleep right now? I mean, he was creeping in there. that was such a conscious that was the moment in that movie because you know it's right after

emily falls into a coma every time i saw that in the theater that moment when they unlock is when people feel comfortable because they're like okay this movie's still a comedy yeah i'm gonna go into like super intense drama now. Because for us, that was the most important thing. We were like, we are making a comedy about a woman who falls into a coma, but it is a comedy. It has to be. So I watched, you know, all my favorite movies that are like that,

like Tootsie or Terms of Endearment or Broadcast News, where they're like dramas, but they have comedy and listen to commentaries. And in Tootsie director was like well we just had a sad scene so now we got to do a joke got a balance so that really was our formula for that movie was like we can go deep and intense but right after that do a joke yeah and so right after that whole sequence where she's put in a coma you know it's cool to watch because people sort of see what's gonna happen so they sort of start laughing like it takes a little while to get to the peak of it. It's awesome. Well, yeah, it's almost like, am I allowed to laugh? Yes, exactly.

You gotta tell them it's okay to laugh at this. That's exactly what that is. And then you have, I mean, Ray Romano's incredible in it. And talking about

having 10 scenes followed by comedy, when you first meet her parents and Ray Romano's like, so what do you think about 9-11? That is an all-time classic

i forgot about that he's great in that movie too he's great in that movie and that was a joke that was like i was the only one you know i i'll say it i wrote that joke and everybody loved it i was like they were like we can't be in the script and i was like can we just shoot it and cut it if we don't like it and And we shot it. And then everybody else, Emily, my wife, who wrote the movie with me, the director, everybody was like, that joke can't be in the movie. I was like, can we just have it in the first test screening, see how it goes?

Like, I fought for it. And as soon as that happened, they were like, yeah, that's in the movie. Good for you, man. Because it's so easy to cut things. We lost 11 of our best guys. We lost, yeah, we lost 19 of our best movie. Because it's so easy to cut things. We lost 11 of our best guys. We lost, yeah, we lost, yeah. We lost 19 of our best guys. Was it 19?

I don't know. 9-11 was a tragedy. We lost 19 of our best guys. I swear to God, it's the top two joke in the whole world. It's fucking incredible. That is, it is. That to me would be like, I totally forgot about that. Because the tension is so high.

I would put that like above anything else I've ever done about you. I'd be like, yeah, I did this movie and that show, but this one line. And again, right after that joke, people don't remember this, there's a very intense emotional scene where they hear bad news about Emily. And when we did that joke, people laughed for so long in the theater that they didn't hear what was happening in the next scene. So if you watch that joke again, we add like 20 seconds of me kind of mumbling and fumbling so that people are quiet

by the time we hear this. You gotta add buffers to your fucking movie because your jokes are so good? It was a good feeling. Wow. That was a good feeling. We're gonna need 20 seconds of nonsense just so that the crowd can reset. Yeah. Yeah, exactly.

And there is like nonsense, me mumbling and stuff. People didn't hear. It was a big, like important piece of dialogue and bad news that was happening. How often does that happen? How many like first screenings are there before? How many times do you get to edit the film with having the public seeing it? Well, the big sick, we did three screenings. Three screenings.

So the first screening we did was sort of the first cut of the movie. It was about two hours. And you get a score, right? So you get like you find out what the score of the movie is. So we did the first screening and it scored really well. And we were like, oh, we're done. And then Judd Apatow who's the producer

obviously you know one of the great comedy filmmakers of all time was like he was like I want you to add 50 jokes to it we were like

50 jokes 50 he's like yeah we're going to test it again 50 more jokes the movie's going to be longer the score's going to be lower because now the movie's

going to be looser not as tight but I think it's going to be helpful. So we added, we ended up adding like 45 jokes to it. Is that a common measure? I would

imagine maybe you add time or a number of scenes, but like number of jokes. I've never heard that before. And we added, ended up adding like a half hour to the movie. I'm saying a lot of all jokes

that we improv'd a bunch a lot we added like ADR jokes which is you know the camera's in the back of my head and I like re-recorded a line that's a joke

so we ended up adding like 43 new jokes wow and most of these were set up stand-up wise? no no no no just like jokes in the movie

dialogue jokes improv jokes like Ray said something that we cut Holly said something that we cut I said something that we cut we put it all back in then Bo I said something that we cut. We put it all

back in. Then Bo Burnham and Aidy Bryant are in the movie in small parts. They're really funny. Kurt Braunohler. So we added like 40. We ended up finding like 43 new jokes, like literally scraping the bottom of the barrel, editing jokes in. We tested it again. It scored lower.

But 25 of those jokes hit. And so then we re-edited the movie, same length as the first screening, but now with 25 extra jokes. And the scores went so high. That's fascinating.

We record the laugh track. When we're editing it, if we're arguing whether the joke worked or not, we're like, let's listen to it. And you can hear the audience laughing or not laughing. So from the first cut to the third cut, same length, 25 extra jokes. And now suddenly it's one of the – I don't think I'll ever have a movie that will test as high as that did. Really? It was huge.

Yeah. It was awesome. That is a very cool way to approach it. Because I do think that there's a lot of movies, like the Judd Apatow type movie, it had that reign in the early and mid-2000s. Yeah. And then it's kind of disappeared,

and I think a lot of things that should be a little more funny end up being more serious or more romantic than comedy or whatever. Get back to putting jokes into movies. I know. For me, the hardest thing is the half-hour drama or whatever. Get back to putting jokes into movies. I know. For me, the hardest thing is the half hour drama or whatever where you're like, you're saying it's a comedy, but there aren't any jokes in it. You're saying it's a drama, but it doesn't even get that dramatic.

To me, dramedy, I hate that term. Do a drama comedy where the drama is as dramatic as a drama and the comedy is as funny as a hard comedy. That's what we wanted to do, but That's exactly what The Big Sick really is. That's what we wanted to do, you know, but that's what you want to try and do. I feel like a lot of times the reason that these, a lot of these comedies aren't as funny is because I think the stakes aren't as high.

People think like, oh, it should just be a fun movie. The more stakes there are, the more, the funnier the movie is going to be. The Big Sick, you know, there's a woman in a coma. That's very high stakes. It's like, you like, if you look at Knocked Up, this guy's going to be a dad.

That's very high stakes. 40-year-old virgin, he's going to fuck. That's very, very high stakes. You know? I would argue the highest out of all of them.

The highest out of all of them. Yeah. Right. Yeah, you got to make it really, really important. Because I noticed that with The Big Sick. If you had a really dramatic scene, and then you do a joke, people laugh

so much harder. It's a relief. I guess you got that with The Chippendales. It's not funny, but it's like the... Bringing it back. Yeah, I got to get that plug in. It's a true crime, which is the craze of all craze,

the last, you know, five, 10 years, but still, you know, it's not like a true crime documentary or it's not, it's,

I love being a scripted show that has those elements. And I hate to say this after you just said you didn't like dramas. I hate, I love drama. I forget what they call them. Docu dramas. Yeah. Where it's,

it's not because i feel like the documentary itself has so lost its way that it used to be a one hour pretty interesting deep dive kind of benign like ken burns style is what i think of you know ken burns has like 10 hours on the history of baseball and jazz um but the the like it's a shorter just kind of boring show that is educational and now i feel like all documentaries try and be so explosive. You might as well just do a docudrama. Because then what you get is you get the assholes

who pretend that they just went to college for four years and learned about this whole subject and pretend everything they show is true. Whereas if you see a docudrama, you're like, okay, this is a TV show. It's based on a true story. But I understand that there are probably some creative liberties here and there. Yeah.

But it's good enough for me to learn the story without me having to go tell everyone everything about it. Right. This is what happened. You learned every fact. Yeah. And for us, it was like we want to make a great entertaining TV show. That's the most important thing. So much of the stuff that happened behind the scenes is already so wild that we didn't really have to fudge a lot.

We, you know, timelines and stuff, we fudged a little bit. But I feel like I love this show. Again, obviously, I'm very biased. I'm not objective. But since the big sec, this is the thing I've been most proud to be a part of just because it's been the most, like, creatively satisfying thing. Because the other cast, the cast in this thing is so fucking good. I actually feel like during the credits, I want to say the casting director is rolled fifth,

something like that, and unfortunately their name escapes me. But I like that their name was so prominent because the cast is so good. They deserve that level of billing. So, so good. And Murray Bartlett, who's like the hottest actor in Hollywood right now, is amazing. Anna Lee Ashford, Juliette Lewis, you know.

And it really is, everyone sort of keeps upping their game as the show goes on. Because it's really about these two people, my character and Murray's character, Nick, like really like sort of butting heads and getting more and more intense. And no spoilers, but everybody's dead. Not of natural causes. So it's really, really intense. Dude, I'm telling you, when you've seen,

I don't know if you're caught up in why we've had four, when you get to like six, seven, eight, it's so intense. it's so fucking cool i love this show so much and i've never gotten to be a motherfucker before you know really like this so i i really really uh there are there are like like a million great scenes the montage is so good everything's great like it really is you talk about the acting is great everyone's everyone's so good but i wanted to ask you when do you think um steve i'm so bad with no no no go for it when do you think it's a hard name to remember i was gonna say banner g i know you're going to last name and you remember

the first thing what was the um the when do you think he makes his turn to the audience as like, oh, he's a motherfucker? I think you see little bits of it from the beginning. So in the first episode, but it's justified. I always thought of him as this guy who's, you know, he's physically so different from me. He's so like tight and just like a lump of granite sitting there. But I think inside him, there's this great anger. And it comes out a little bit. So in the first episode, when he finds out that Dan Stevens' character kind of swindled

him, he plays Paul Snyder, and he's like, I put everything on the line. I need this. That explosion comes out of him. So that's the first time you see a little bit of it, but it's justified. So you're on his side. It happens again a little bit. I think in three, when he comes back

after his dad's funeral and he sort of yells at everybody. I think it's even before then. Yeah, tell me. This is great. To me, I thought it was when he kept calling his wife. When he kept calling Irene.

Yeah. From India? Yeah, from India. Yeah. And just his emotion he felt in that booth. I was like, oh, he might be Irene. Yeah. From India? Yeah, from India. Yeah. And just his emotion he felt in that booth. I was like, oh, he might be a bad guy. Because everything in business I've been like, I get blowing up at work sometimes.

Yes, sure. That makes sense to me. But like repeatedly calling your wife during like, it seemed like business hours. I mean, we've all been there, right? You're currently calling that ex-girlfriend. I've been in those like oh jeez you don't want to

win her back pestering yeah I've dude yeah so so really that you know that feeling

where you're like why did you call me back what's going on but just like that's so good that you picked up on that that's so fucking cool well we'll leave you

with one more question how many Emmys is she going to win oh my god please let's go let's go. Let's go. Oh,

that was, no, please, please, please. No, please, please,

please. We don't, we don't, we don't talk like that. We don't do that. I would not be surprised if that's one of the big, uh, big breakouts. Well,

that would be awesome. Thank you. Thank you. I just, I just love this show so much. And I'm telling you, you know, it's,

it's like all this stuff is boiling. It's all like, you know, really it's the intensities building. And those last three episodes, you know, it's like all this stuff is boiling. It's all like, you know, really the intensity is building. And those last three episodes, like there are some scenes that the weird part was, you know, so I played this character. And everything that he did make sense to me. It wasn't until I watched episodes like seven and eight where I was like, oh, he's a really bad guy. Really?

And I was like getting angry at myself watching myself. Some Walter White Heisenberg type stuff. Yeah. And my mom's having, exactly. It's exactly Walter White Heisenberg stuff. That started out with good intentions or, you know,

a reason, and then you took it too far. But I think the thing with that guy is he already has that in him, I think. Whereas somebody like Jimmy McGill from Better Call Saul, I think. Whereas somebody like Jimmy McGill from Better Call Saul, I think he turns into Saul.

I think he is genuinely an innocent who turns. Whereas I think Walter White already has that seed in him. And I think Steve is like that. He always has that seed in him. And my mom is having a real tough time with the show. Not because of Steve. Oh, I thought you were your actual mom. Yeah, my actual mom.

I mean, the woman who plays my mom, Mona Sashodia, is amazing in it. But the woman who plays my actual mom in my real life, she's like, I'm having a tough time with the show. And it's not seeing women do cocaine off of, you know. I'm sure that's not easy either, but. Yeah, I don't think that's, yeah,

but, but she's, and I'm like, well, mom is going to get worse, but I'm not going to tell her. If that ain't a good pitch for the show, like the lead,

the lead star's mother has a hard time watching it because it's so fucked up and so intense. It's really, really intense. Yeah. Watch it. Watch it. Go check it out.

And all the other things, you know, everything, Marvel and Star Wars and all the like. I got a couple big things next year. A couple big things. For him to say big. Finally.

What is that? When he says big, what does that even mean? Well, that I can't, like, say yet. I think it'll get announced pretty soon. I think before the end of the year it'll get announced. But it's something that I'm so excited about. Are you a superhero in it? I can't say. That's a yes? I can't say that's a yes

I can't say that's a yes but I'm so excited about these things eternal spinoff we'll see you then yeah I'll be back

come on back come on back you'll know when it gets announced you're like oh okay that must be the thing he's talking about

that sounded very arrogant I'm just very excited for it hey the truth is the truth I'm just very excited for it because you know as truth is the truth, man. I'm just very excited for it because, you know, as a kid, I was a fan of all this stuff. So much. So then to be able to do it,

it's like a dream come true. Well, congrats on that. Thank you so much, Kamau. Appreciate you coming through. Thank you for having me. Huge fans. And keep fighting the good Franklin Bash fight. Make sure you subscribe to KFC Radio on YouTube

to get all the video content. Subscribe, comment, like, and make sure you turn on the bell notification so you know whenever new video content drops. I want to say something, but the video has to be fast, so that's it.