KFC Radio - We React to THE Sex Playlist From Reddit Ft. Dane Diliegro

Episode Date: September 8, 2022

Chris Pine Photo: https://people.com/movies/chris-pine-poolman-set-photo-beard-long-hair-smiling-directorial-debut/ Description: - Intro to the NEW and improved KFC Radio - Shaving your balls seems to be the new trend - KFC Has a problem with the Catholic Church - Playing footsie in elementary school - Feits’ just realized he doesn’t know his mom’s name - If you get kidnapped, how long until you jerk off - Game of Thrones - Harry Styles “spitting” on Chris Pine - Brendan Fraser cries as he gets a standing ovation - Who is the A**hole? - thrusting song - Video Voicemails - No subtitles or watch full-length p*rn - Fight a gorilla or thoughts come to life - Elevator with comic - Interview with Dane Diliegro on being THE Predator and the difficulty filming it, playing professional basketball in Italy and Isreal, learning how to be a butcher and much more. +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Timecodes: 0:00 - Intro to NEW and improved KFCR 14:00:11 - KFC has a problem with the Catholic Church 40:28:06 - Feits' Notebook Thoughts 59:50:22 - House of Dragon Thoughts 1:08:04 - Harry Styles "spits" on Chris Pine 1:13:41 - Brendan Fraser cries 1:22:30 - Who is the A**hole? 1:41:51 - Video Voicemails 1:57:49 - Dane Diliegro +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Hellofresh: Go to https://barstool.link/HFKFC and use code KFC16 for 16 free meals across 7 boxes AND 3 free gifts Ridge Wallet: Go to https://barstool.link/RidgeBSS and use code KFC for 10% off your order Roman: Go to https://barstool.link/ROMANkfc to get 20% off your first order of swipes Dave: Download the Dave app from the App store Manscaped: Get 20% off + free shipping with the code KFC at https://barstool.link/ManscapedBSSYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. The motion of the ocean for us is just... It's a choppy day out on the waves. The white caps are out. The sea was angry that day it's another edition of kfc radio on the barool Sports Network, the new era of KFC Radio, a.k.a. we just changed our colors a little bit. The big news, finally, next week will be the beginning of the whole shakeup. We decided to announce it on the week that we're not actually starting it.

Yeah, that was a— True KFC Radio fact. We kind of always said— I was like, where's the new episode? We're not doing that. This week, idiot. Come on. But actually, I will say this. Usually, we

announce things at the last minute. There's no build-up. I'm always mad there's no build-up. We announce tickets too late. We announce merch too late. By the way, tickets on sale. Go get them. We can buy them. But now, see, we're talking about all this, so it leads up to it. DC, New York You know DC New York

Nope DC, New York, Phoenix Denver Los Angeles Yup Yup And because we have our new merch First of all shout out to our boy Pavs

Who just came to us And said I'm rebranding your shit No no no I have rebranded your shit Said I have He was like I have All these new colors, this new logo, this new scheme. I'm going to show it to you.

And I just said, whatever it is. Almost whatever it is. I was like, I like it quite a bit. John, before I even saw it. I said, whatever it is. I think I looked. I trusted Pat, but I think I did take a look. Unless he showed me, like, there's just like a decapitated puppy.

Here's our new logo. Anything short of that, I probably would have been like, whatever, because we just needed to change. It's been many, many, many years. Not that our old logo, Trig, did a great job. It was very much our old vibe. That was us in the old studio sitting that way. It was representative of the show, but it's time for a a new era and because we're the oldest and the original the new era is actually kind of the old era so

it's a throwback with a very uh you know cigarettes inside 70s vibe yeah where do you just came up with that just because you know like i said like for the old old school podcast i did it on the day that we had our 10-year anniversary here in 10 or 10 year and i was just like this is a vibe that's like new but also retro look also it's kind of just like in style right now a lot of those if you look at a lot of the sad boy season stuff that's on sale you can are we leaving that camera there or does that come back over here now uh okay okay yeah uh if you're a lot of the colors also match a lot of the Sandboy season, so you can go to the store and buy that stuff as well. What we do need is new video voicemails. So go to our social media,

and you can click the link that you can submit the video. If you don't like to be on camera, you can just, you know. In the description for the podcast, in the YouTube, everything, like the links there. I have one link tree that just goes to everything so if you want to be a part next week is going to be the first big week of the new show where you'll have an episode on Monday

Tuesday and Thursday Monday's episode going to be featuring Barstool personalities so you get like a third co-host a third chair but everything else stays the same as far as the shirts right now we have the new shirt new logos with be normal and just the KFC Radio logo. Those are a small batch, limited edition.

Anybody who buys those will pick out someone who purchased it to win two tickets to any of our live shows. So I guess the easiest way to screenshot your your purchase uh your proof of purchase if you want to win tickets to our show and then you get the shirt basically pays pays the price of the tickets or pays the price of the shirt so new things going on here at kfc radio today's episode is brought to you by manscaped as much as things are new they are staying the same manscaped has been with us since day one i got a question about manscaped and and in general because i watch a lot of hulu uh i got it's gonna come up later about all. Sure. And in general. Because I watch a lot of Hulu. It's going to come up later

about all the Hulu I'm watching. But I've watched a lot of Hulu lately. And they do... I have ads on my Hulu. Yeah, me too. Not because I'm cheap. I like commercials. Me too.

Right? Give me a break. If it was more expensive... Although sometimes it's like a little bit. Because they're long. It's a minute and a half. When you see that thing ticking though, it's like, whoa.

That's a lot of seconds. But I don't see it because that's when I fuck around on my phone But anyway and occasionally I look up And that's why I'm going to have these observations I'm about to observe A lot of ball stuff Did men just learn about shaving their balls Because I've known about it since I was a kid I also think though that shaving the rest

Is kind of more important than the balls I mean you can't have like a hairy sack But it's like You guys are trimming more important than the balls. I mean, you can't have, like, a hairy sack, but it's like – You guys are trimming more than just the ball. Oh, okay. Like, there's Manscaped ads. There are other similar brands ads. In the grand scheme of things, it's probably very new.

But, like, so maybe it was boomers who didn't, and now boomers are just learning about it? Because millennials – I'm speaking of raw millennials. Jump Street. We knew about that. I mean, bro, I've been shaving my nuts since before I had pubes. But that's what's weird is that no one had to tell us that. Yeah, it was just like breathing.

I didn't learn how to inhale exhale. I was just like, that doesn't look good. Get rid of that. Was there a bunch of hair on my cock? Yeah. Like there's something inherently gross about hairy things. I said it before there was hair on my car. I was like, there better not be any hair on this fucking thing.

Let's see. 2003, David Beckham and Queer Eye usher in the era of metrosexuality. The best. We love metrosexuality. Anybody, oh, you trim your hair and you like to not smell bad and wear clothes that fit you? Let's make you sound like you're gay. But we would use it in school very often, so we couldn't say gay.

And it was instead Metro. A good friend of mine, we were like, dude, you are so fucking Metro, because he didn't come in with clothes that were in a ball at the bottom of his closet. The clothes fit you, you got a haircut, and maybe you

don't smell like shit, and you trim a little bit. You are. You're not. You're not. You're heterosexual. You're definitely not heterosexual, but you're not fucking sucking any dicks yet, so you're not homosexual. You're right in the middle, metrosexual.

It is. This is going to become a second more than an ad, because I've been doing a lot of shopping for the fall, and I'm buying. Basically, I've described every pair of pants I buy are like Danny DeVito in Always Sunny. Look how loose his jeans are.

You were in yesterday with those big red pants? Was that you? No, that wasn't me. I don't know what that is. That was you. You look like Santa Claus pants. I don't wear Santa Claus pants. I found them in that corner over there. But you were wearing them as real pants? No, he just popped them on. I actually genuinely didn't know if they were Santa Claus pants or Fights pants.

And I legitimately thought those were your pants for the day. So you put on a pair of costume pants, and I thought it was you. But you guys dressed the same, so let's just say it was you. Put on the red pants, and I thought, oh, that's just what he's wearing today. It was a literal Santa costume. But I'm afraid of the pants I'm wearing right now. They're fine, I think.

They're not as baggy as my corduroys, but they're baggy. First of all, baggy is like back, coming back around. Well, that's what I'm thinking. People are going to be like, your pants are so baggy. And then what I realized is that everyone gets there because when i was thinking about the skinny jeans scene like everyone's there was a time where everyone made fun of skinny jeans or at least right but then what happens is it finds its middle ground where like you're wearing

skinny jeans they're not fucking rock star like tight but you're you're not wearing the jeans that you used to wear boot cut jeans you're not wearing not that anymore yeah but so like when there is like a change in trend it is like the tough guys for like four years will be like dude that's gay you're so gay and then like then they will just start wearing them I think you should live

let's say like here is the uh the super trendy people right and then like here are the guys who are like, that's gay, right? I don't want to live here and here. I think that's about where I live. And I don't think you want to be...

Here means you never change your clothes at all. Yeah. I want to live... No, you're higher than that. I'm here. I'm here. You're pretty fucking high. I'm pretty high.

And then you'll swipe... But then I'll catch you wearing... You'll be the first guy wearing baggy corduroy pants that are, like, huge. Yeah. Whereas I want to wear, like, basically the same jeans, but, like, right here they get, like, tapered. And then maybe right here when it's not as popular, they don't. You know what I mean? I think that's the better place for people like us.

Like, if you're a young, cool black kid, fucking go all over the place. You know what i mean uh like for for us though for me for my like you know i was at uh orientation today so i had to go to school with keegan and you know a lot of dads there and like some of them really like wore clothes because they're on their way to work afterwards like fucking full suit and there's a lot of guys who are like loafers like khaki shorts tucked in with like a rope belt and a polo and i'm like i'm definitely never gonna be that guy either you know what i mean that's tough guy so i'm like i put on a hoodie and some jeans that probably could play

in any era from any time from here to the end of the world no matter what the trends are i wouldn't i'm not gonna be like oh look at that outfit but i also don't think you know what i mean i think that would just like that's just it's just like everything else. Like, I'm just medium. I'm just there, you know? Because I can't be, but also if I had shown up in, like, your outfits, I think I would have looked like a buffoon. You know what I mean?

I think my, obviously it's my own head. I think my stuff is usually, I am aware that sometimes I wear something that's a little ridiculous i think most of my stuff is rather like it's i think 90 90 percent of stuff i wear i could wear whenever wherever but and then like occasionally i'll have a little like whoa little pop yeah it's like mostly like pretty some of them i'm just thinking about you know like if i were to go to uh orientation with my kid around all the other parents, well, right now you've got collars and buttons and all that shit, so you're fine.

Can you throw one of those? I want to see if it works just as an over shirt. Ooh, mama. Thank you. That's the one. This is the one. This one's fucking. This one's the one I don't even need to check.

I was going to say, we might be revealing too much right now. This is a shirt that's going to come out soon in a small batch that everybody should fucking buy. It's like a long sleeve terrycloth button up jacket, jacket, shirt, whatever you want to call it. It's the one it's well it's but you know it's funny we're talking about as we're talking about this fashion it's like it's like the the stuff that we make is very uh like we like it and it is a little bit fashion forward certainly your stuff is more so than mine um and then there's like a small group of people that do buy that and then we make like a dumb shirt with like a dick and balls on it and that sells like 50 000 it's fucking

infuriating it's like hey let's make some actual clothes and maybe we could like do some cool things it's like oh your quarterback fucked it up a woman let's fucking make a dumb shirt about that man i love fall you know let's look a the milk shirt and it's like um but anyway manscaped i i can't the longest ad read of all i can't believe i suggested doing pre-recorded ad reads uh the point about manscaped is that you know it maybe you know it does come and go bush comes and goes to some extent you're never to just be able to let it go wild. Even if they say, hey, the 70s is back. You can't just let it go wild.

You could have organized chaos. You could have a Bush that's still just touched up a little bit. So no matter what the style is, no matter who you are, what you are, if Adriana does it, you know. Oh, this is smart, though. This is something. The Manscaped Performance Package 4.0. You get the Lawn Mower 4.0.

We've all got that one. Skin safe trimmer. You're good to go. Weed whacker for your ear and your nose. That's, you know, when you need to have to trim that, that sucks. You're either, like, Greek or you're about to die. You know what I mean? But whatever.

You got to trim what you got to trim. The Crop Preserver and the Crop Reviver are like a spray and a lotion that we know about. The Magic Mat. Disposable shaving mats. Oh, yes. We should have been in on that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm so mad about not being an inventor, man.

There's so many times in the world that I'm like, this would make my life so much easier. Just a little simple thing. And then I go, eh, whatever. And at this point, we probably could have. We have the resources. I have a long list of things this would make my life so much easier. Just a little simple thing. And then I go, yeah, whatever. And at this point, we probably could have. We have the resources. I have a long list of things that would make my life easier. And we just don't do them. Yeah, one's just a new brain.

One is mostly other people in my life. But I'm always, you know, people have that one thing that like you put it around your neck and you fucking suction cup it to the yeah you know that's like it works

but it's kind of ridiculous to like throw yourself in there and then the other idea is like you just do it and it's all over the fucking sink or whatever the tub the shower

you gotta like wash it off it's a fucking disaster you know splashing everywhere and there's just a fucking soaking wet room you're in now yeah

cause you keep missing the side of it you're just in a wet room with pubes it'd be so much easier to just get a piece of toilet paper and now. Yeah. Because you keep missing the side of it. You're just in a wet room with pubes. It'd be so much easier to get a piece of toilet paper. You're like, I'm just going to keep slapping the water out of it. But the disposable mats, you can lay down. It captures all the hair, and you're out of there. Go to manscaped.com.

Promo code KFC. Get 20% off, plus free shipping. That's KFC at manscaped.com. I was at this orientation. First of all, I got a problem with the Catholic Church for a lot of fucking reasons. Why? What happened? A lot of problems. A lot of bigger problems.

A lot of bigger fish to fry in the Catholic Church. But the one thing that they still do is the uniforms to school. Now, for the girls, it's one thing. Girls put on a little dress with a collar, and they wear mary janes and their socks and it looks kind of cute maybe a little sweater they put on whatever that's you know my shade girl she goes to school she looks like a little angel whatever the boys boys is a different story and i will admit uh the boys parents probably did not do him any favors with the exact. You know, like the winter and the fall is kind of like better for uniforms. You know, we're in the summer right now, but it was a little bit chillier today.

I don't know what was going on. We put on the shorts. He had on loafers, socks pulled up and a little college shirt tucked in. He looked like he was a little German boy in the 40s. That's what I will say. He looked like he was a little german boy in the 40s that's what i will say he looked like he was from uh germany in like 19 late 30s early 40s uh it's a weird thing it's just a weird thing that like this day and age that i was wondering why you've been calling him Panzer all day. That's so weird. Don't you think it's bizarre?

I feel like by now people would have come for uniforms and been like, this is, I don't know, appropriation or oppression or some shit by now. It's the one thing I wish was gone. From what I can picture, from what you described, aside from now Hitler, but even before you got to Hitler, I was picturing just like a little British boy. So you're a colonizer or a genocider. Yeah, right, either way. It's not a great thing with uniforms.

He's going to come home talking like, you know, Tommy bit my finger. By the way, you know what I was thinking the other day, too? What were you thinking? I'm thinking about a lot of stuff. You've been thinking? Why are you thinking? I feel like the British, and then by extension kind of us, white folks get a lot of trouble for

the colonization. We bear a lot of that responsibility despite having nothing to do with it. Sure. I think the Chinese get off pretty scot-free. Right? I mean, the Chinese, everyone the West was colonized by the British. The East, that's all the Chinese.

That's all Genghis Khan. Genghis Khan ruled the whole goddamn world. Right. I feel like you guys are colonizers too. Yeah. Genghis Khan is now Chinese. I mean, come on. He's what then?

What is he? I think he's like Turkish, right? Well, that's the point kind of is that it's all that. Those are very different sides of the map. I think Genghis Khan's Chinese. He's definitely Mongolian. That's what he is. Mongolian.

And Mongolian's where? Fucking China. Can we get a blank map and see if we're- I'll tell you what. Here's the deal. I'm going to give myself a fucking pass because if you click on a picture of Genghis Khan- He looks Asian. The artist depicted him as pretty Asian.

China's the biggest Asian place. I fucking guess he's Asian. He's got the little skinny beard. Yeah, you're right. He is Asian. The artist depicted him as pretty Asian. China's the biggest Asian place. I fucking guess he's Asian. He's got the little skinny beard. Yeah, you're right. He is Chinese. Yeah. I feel racist for a second. You said that a lot.

John Filer, have never been racist. Not once. Not a one a time. You said that with your chest, too. He's not Asian. Yeah, he's Asian. He's Turkish. Oh, okay.

I know what that is. He probably owned Turkey at one point, too, though. That's the whole point. So my point of that was the Chinese did a lot of colonizing, too. Yeah, the only problem is... Yeah, I bet you people don't like the Chinese. I might not even know what colonizing is. Well, they're still doing it right now, right?

With Hong Kong and Taiwan and all that shit, right? Yeah. So maybe they don't get off scot-free. No, they don't get scot-free, but here's the thing. There's like, you know, they live in their bubble. So it's like, literally, they live in their bubble. They decide what goes on the internet. So you can't even protest

them. They'll never see it. What's the fucking point? Yeah, it's like, do the mute button. Yell all day, bro. China has a worldwide mute button. More so, even though they have a worldwide block button. You're just... You can't see shit. You know what they actually have?

It's like a kid's lock. But for adults. You know what I mean? You can't even go to those websites. You can't even see the porn. It's like my kids fucking... Actually, I don't do it to my kids. I'm lying.

My kids can skip whatever they want on the internet. Any given moment. I actually bought... They needed to get... They had iPads that they ran into the ground, broken, batteries dying, the whole nine. I go to the store to buy new ones, and the guy was like, this one here – you'll want this one. This one comes preloaded with – it has a case and a this and a that, and it got all of the all the kids lock preloaded and I was like, no, I don't need that. I need them for not

like, oh, they're not for kids? They were right there next to me. I was like, oh no, they're for the kids. They just need regular ass YouTube, bro. Come on. Not gonna be the weirdos who don't even know what's on the internet, you know? Sure, they might watch a beheading and maybe see a little bit of fucking, you know, X-rated shit. No big deal. deal bro i haven't seen anything as horrific as i saw when i was 13 right since i was right it's all been uphill downhill look at me i'm doing just fine we're

very well adjusted fellows who handle the internet very well um so anyway yeah, and then, and then we had to cut out, cut out construction paper and make a face. Yeah. And I kind of was just letting Keegan do it

because, I don't know, the fucking kids are supposed to do it. And then I'm watching these other parents who are like, like buddy the fucking elf,

you know, they're cutting strips into the hair so it looks like they have hair on the paper. And at one point I was like, all right, well, fuck. I'm not going to have my kid have the crappy one.

So I start to do it and I couldn't do it. Really? I mean, it's harder than you think to just cut out a face. So we failed as a family. Like mom, dad, son sitting there trying to like, and then we had to put it up on the board. And ours, I was just like, my kid's Picasso, bro.

My kid's fucking levels to this shit, man. That's why his looked different. It's like his interpretation. He did his dolly. Yeah, yeah. See, I had that with my parents when I was younger. It was a project on orangutans. I want to say I was in fifth grade.

You practiced on what? A project on orangutans. They said we practiced on orangutans. They said we practiced on orangutans. What did you do to orangutans? I'm not Habib. By the way, I say orangutan. Is it tan? I know it says tang, right?

No, I think it's called tan. It says tan, but we say tang. But do people say orangutans? Don't all people say orangutan? It's an orangutan. It does have the G. It does have the G. I honestly don't know.

I have no idea. I say orangutan. I fuck with orangutans a lot, though, by the way. They're cool. They're dope. The heads, the G. I honestly don't know. I have no idea. I say orangutan. I fuck with orangutans a lot though by the way. They're cool. The heads, the face is very cool. They're very cool.

But my dad did the whole fucking thing. Look at that guy. That guy. Is that real? That's not as cool. That's not real? That's not real.

Okay, I was going to say that's very cool. My dad did the whole project and the second I opened it my teacher was like what is this? What the fuck is this? You didn't do do that one time we had to build a bridge uh that was like the goal was to have it hold like i don't know like 30 pounds or something like that like get your

popsicle sticks out whatever you know the guy the kid i was doing the project with the kid the old man next to him was like a legit bridge architect. And we went over to his house. It was kind of weird. And we built this bridge. We came in. It had suspension things. And we could all stand on them. We were like jumping on this bridge.

And I was like, what's even the point of doing? You know the parents are doing this shit. I didn't learn anything. My dad and my mom famously once wrote a paper for me in fourth grade. And I wrote a paper. I got a c on it or something like that and this this teacher was a bitch i think i talked about her before i hope she's dead now uh mrs tannenbaum she's got to be dead by now um and they were like i got like a

bad grade and they were like fuck that like i watched you work on that that was good and it was like you could rewrite and get a better grade so they just wrote it and it got worse they got like a d probably because they knew that like the teacher the kids were the parents were doing it but it's like fuck that let's just let the kids do the shit so the parents don't have to come on i'm gonna sit here cutting out eyes ears nose it was a little bit weird they said take the color color paper for your skin it was like there's eyes nose eyes hair lips was red and then they were like and then this for your skin and like it was like p like a peach color and then a little more tan and then i was

like i don't know definitely not those three but maybe these two i don't know it's kind of weird catholics man they're they're they're in their own bubble too doing whatever the fuck they want the uh the school talk has reminded me of a story that i actually told this weekend and uh i i honestly like had never really thought of how funny it was but it was fifth grade it's actually probably the same teacher as my orangutan teacher and you know how you used to sit in those plastic desks with like like you sit in a foursome kind of deal that's exactly what yeah okay so i had a foursome right i'm not gonna use government names but we had denise sitting here we had uh my ex-girlfriend was sitting here across from me so i had denise was sitting right next to me denise was a bigger gal okay denise sat right next to me bigger gal and then my ex-girlfriend sat over here um let's call her vanessa which is her actual name because I couldn't think of something else.

I was actually thinking he's going to struggle to come up with all these names. Three fake names is a lot. I don't know the third person, so I could only get one. I knew I was not using a third name. So it's Denise, Vanessa, and a fourth person. So the fourth person sat here because me and Vanessa had played too much footsies. Which, oh god.

Footsies, bro. When you're that age? Footsies at that age? When you were in the middle of class just fucking rubbing feetsies? Dude! You a creeper. Bro, what are you talking about? If you didn't fucking love footsies,

I don't think I did that. You had a real problem. That was like, don't get me wrong. I would have loved it. I just don't think girls were doing it for me. I was footsie-ing

like a motherfucker. Wait, everybody, raise your hand if you played footsie in school like fourth grade. Bro. Just you two creeps?

You were notoriously a virgin until you were 21 fuck you it sends a something up your spine i am not disagreeing with that i'm just saying that like you you guys were doing that in the middle of class bro i'm getting hard thinking i don't i don't i don't deny it i i don't i have a rush of blood to the penis. Let me tell you something we had in second grade. We had something called... What was it called? Real quick, let me just text my buddy. Only fucking 40% of people in this room played footsies? No, no.

So I did, not in fourth grade. It wasn't until like eighth grade. Oh, I started young. And eighth grade was was a bit late if i'm being bro i was footsie and like are you playing and like she was like the she was like the man in the footsie where i'd be like reading i'd be like i'd be like using both her feet and leaning back she'd be the foundation of the footsie you're getting amazon and footsie? Yeah. She's doing, she's pegging you footsie style. I'd fucking get up to knee. I'd fucking play with the quads.

And she's under the desk. Under the desk. Were you putting a toe in? Were you getting a little toe in there? No, no, no, not that far. I did witness that in other people, though. Other fucking. I did that in a hot tub once.

I didn't do it in school, though. Other cretins. Dude, I told this story. You know what's probably happening, by the way? When you put your foot up there, you're probably getting boogers all over your fucking knees every time it touches

the bottom of the desk. There was, this was in middle school as well. Not as well, because fifth grade wasn't middle school. But there was a girl who would stick her ass out.

You know how they had the plastic, the metal bar? Oh, so it... And she would stick her ass out, and then her boyfriend, Amanda and Chris

were their real names. Nobody works on the spot than you and he would take his shoe off and he'd fucking fucking get in there wait where was her butt it was like

it was like fucking you know how like they have the two poles yeah so in between the backrest so it was like back like that she'd kind of just like

stick it out and then he'd like I don't know if he was getting it in, but he was at least playing with it. Slots, man. The sack, baby. Damn.

Slots. We had something called the reading loft. Isn't the sack who says that? Yeah, it's the other guy. I love when they go like, yeah, the WAP genius or something like that, right? Sleazy Bambino, the Wap Genius. We had a reading loft, it was called.

I think this might be something very specific to just me and my grade, my school. It was like this big box almost, if you will, like a fort. And it had like a down, a low level, like a like a ladder or like a little stairs you climb up to like a higher level and it just had a bunch of pillows and beanbags and shit and you were supposed to go in there and read and i was a nerd so i did just like go in there and read it was second grade but i bet people were getting blasted in there dude i bet little kids were getting fucking i mean it was like one big cuddle puddle in second grade. Like, you go into this little dark fort and read with your mixed class there.

Yeah, fucking right. I'm sure the teacher was watching the whole time. I'm sure all these things look back on him like, this is fucking weird. I'll never forget. We had a teacher. Somebody asked him why he never chaperones the dances. He's like, I'm not going to go sit and watch softcore porn of minors. I do actually agree that I wouldn't phrase it like that,

but I'd be like, I don't want to be the guy who has to break up 13-year-old grinding. Because I know what's going on here. It's not like I'm not happy about it, but I know what's going on. Yeah, so anyway. So anyway. So anyway, I'm playing footsie

I got Denise here Right right For some Denise here Vanessa here I don't know Someone else here Someone I'm no longer

Playing footsies with Trying to get across The bars to Vanessa But it's not working so well Anyway one day Denise again It's a beard gal She

She like I see her turn Really bright red Okay this is in the spring Oh no So I remember What she's in She's in a jean Jeans A jean like And she, like, I see her turn really bright red. Okay? This is in the spring. Oh, no. So I remember what she's in. She's in a jean, like, skirt. A white shirt with, like, the tube kind of crossed like that.

And she turns really, really red. And she's, like, kind of, like, motioning at Vanessa. And then she gets up and just runs out of the classroom. Okay? And then when she gets up and runs, it just like i looked in that general direction just a puddle of blood in her seat oh no okay not like a fucking horror movie no like i could dip a quill in it right oh right so so i i look i see that, I'm like, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. And I start freaking out. Vanessa kicks my fucking desk into my chest.

And she starts going, shut the fuck up, shut the fuck up. And I don't know what's happening. I just know that this woman, someone's bleeding on the floor. And I'm like, what are you talking about? Call an ambulance. So I'm fucking, I don't want to piss her off. But I'm like, why is the person next to me Bleeding so much Out of their pussy

And I was like It was It was the first period I'd ever witnessed But she's just like She's like shut up Shut up Shut up

And I'm like What did you do to Denise I love I love that you say It was the first period You've ever witnessed As if As if there was many

After that But like I didn't know what periods were i know i know right like i wonder when i think like when i learned like really what that what i mean i guess we learned in like health class or whatever but do we know i never heard of a period in fifth grade yeah and i was like oh i'll never get her face like yelling me like like a mom yeah shut your mouth right your mouth mouth right now. Right. I was like, what do you mean shut my mouth? There's blood everywhere. Well, usually there's like a girl code where you don't talk about other girls' periods, you know?

Yeah, we got our second place girl, Jackie, here. It was a stressful week for her. I'm sure she needed to unwind after everything on Surviving Barstool with a little bit of 3Chi. Whether she wanted to hit the vape pen or eat an edible or eat a gummy or take some oil and put it into your own baked goods or put a tasteless powder into your drink, mix it up, or drink some of their pink lemonade powder or, or, or, or, or every which way you can get thc in your body that's what three chi has they are now delivering delta 9 grade thc we're talking dispensary level without the dispensary i'm talking uh prescription level without the doctor and the prescription it's all legal it's all organic it's all clean it's all safe and it gets you buzzing you get that euphoria feeling you get that high but you don't have any of the sluggishness.

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No, we're cool now. Oh, yeah? She said that she respects me, so we're cool. Oh, good. Well, you got the respect. Why does she respect you? I don't. I didn't mean it like that.

I didn't mean it like that. I do. I don't know if I respect respect you. Yeah. I don't. I didn't mean it like that. I didn't mean it like that. I do. I don't know if I respect you yet. I don't respect any of you guys. I like you. You're fine. Do I respect you? I don't know.

Do you respect me? Probably not. Whatever. It's a weird thing. So, Jackie, as we know, didn't make it. She got right to the one-yard line. did not win, couldn't take down Eddie, but did outlast Che. And I feel like that was kind of like the, you know, there's like,

it's almost like, you know, you didn't win the championship, but you knocked out the one team that everybody hates or the best team or whatever it was, you know. And the way Che was going at the end there with all his one-liners and acting like he was smarter than everybody. Did we ever have that highlight reel? Oh, yeah. We got to make the highlight reel of Che. I mean, it's just one of the all-time.

I don't think I'm the smartest guy in the room. I know I'm the smartest guy in the room. And the whole, like, I just won the game. And then it's like, the next second you get voted off. Because, you know, it's very much like Better Call Saul. It's like Saul Goodman. Like, you don't want a criminal lawyer. You want a criminal lawyer.

You're not playing dirty. You know, he was being honest to everybody. He was being a little dirty. But, like, if you don't get dirty, someone's going to get dirty on you. But I do at the end. I said it on the show and the after show and then the after after show and the reunion show. I was so survivored out by the end of that shit. But Jackie was faced with a problem or a question or a big decision every single episode.

And she made the right move every single time. That's why I really thought she should have won. Sometimes, perhaps, who knows, accidentally. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Definitely. Don't get me wrong. Don't get me wrong. It does count, yeah. When you accidentally hit backboard, you don't have to call backboard in the NBA. Right. You definitely orchestrated a few things and then you definitely did not orchestrate

a couple other things. The way that I picture like my just method of doing life is like it's just smoke bomb and then run through the other side and that was exactly what i did this time and so whenever it was like you're being so chaotic like you're not playing the game while i was like i know what i'm doing i'm doing the smoke bomb I'm going to run to the other side You guys The smoke bomb I What was it? Is it a Batman villain?

Smoke bomb Run to the other side I live in chaos I thrive in chaos I'm swimming in I'm swimming in a pool of chaos Whatever that was It was amazing

Yeah people don't know It's kind of like When Feidelberg plays Rock, paper, scissors And people are trying to read his brain And there's nothing to be read in there. So it's just like, you don't know what's coming out. I'll accidentally do the same thing 10 times in a row.

Right. But in the end, yeah, I think. You know what? Rudy had a good point. I don't know if you guys watched the after show, the reunion show. I think a big part of Eddie winning was the sob story. I worked here for nine years, six of them for free.

And Rudy was like, I'm a fucking cameraman. Like, okay, fine. That may be true. You're now the right-hand man of a guy who got $100 million. He usually yells, he drives a Tesla. I'm kind of a producer here. I don't even know.

So if you guys had chopped that down a little bit, I think some of that speech might have been negated a little bit. But you didn't. I didn't realize that we were getting on our hands and knees and begging. They gave us 15 minutes to start the speech. Oh, really? They give us 15 minutes to start the speech.

Oh, really? To make the speech. They give us 20 minutes to make the speech. It was just like, okay, we're going to do the next elimination, and you guys do your speeches. And they didn't know that. It wasn't like you now have 20 minutes to make your speech. It was like, in 20 minutes, we're going to resume filming,

and that's when you do your speeches. And a lot of them were like, like wait that's when we do our speeches oh shit I didn't even realize that so like I think had they known I mean you guys probably should have watched episode season 1 and known and you could have been like preparing something the whole time but you know I think you guys all had good speeches then for 20 minutes I thought

no no that was that was like off the rip and I had to get ready like because I'm a girl I had to get ready for like 15 of those so i had five minutes so technically i made this piece in five minutes you know what you should have done is just got up there and been like so i've got a smoke bomb okay guys um but anyway i i think coming in second is uh i'm very happy yeah yeah it was great i mean i just wanted you to get on camera and get exposure and get you know like uh somebody said to me, what was it?

There was something that you did that was like wacky, like just perfectly Jackie wacky. And I posted it and someone was like, oh, like blah, blah, blah, doing this, like just to like clearly doing this on purpose stupidly just to get attention. And I was like, no, no, you don't know Jackie. Like none of this was fake. None of this was preconceived. None of it. The pin thing, yeah. Oh, yeah, that was, yeah.

Did you see Jackie's attempt? This actually is what I was thinking of, but someone else did it during Survivor as well where they were like, this is so fake. I'm like, no, it's not. Did you see Jackie's attempt to take one of those pictures where you make a monument look like tiny because of the perspective?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I've never felt so dumb we didn't i mean you just go towards the camera that was insane we tried so hard i got so low we were like we're like do we need to be taller for this oh i got a lot of tweets it'll probably be it's probably better to go to her oh no she posted it on instagram right there it is I mean and the caption of how the fuck do people do this did Grace

think she was like oh we're good so then we're like oh my god we're so dumb we have to go on the other side there's probably a higher angle we went on the other side and we're like what the fuck and the answer is you need to just be like 2000 yards away right no you just need to go towards the camera so like if she'd come up towards me a little bit,

then we would have figured it out. You're a camera woman. No, no. Not a smart one, no. Well, it'll take you twice as long to learn that, right? Exactly. Okay. All right, so let's get into our One Minute Man roundup.

Or do you have anything? We can do a book. We can do a quick book. Black book? Okay. All right, let's get into Feidelberg's Little Black Book. It's brought to you by Dave. If you are struggling to make ends meet,

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Instant transfer fees apply. Banking by Evolve member FDIC. Future you will thank you. you i got in a i got in like a little i don't say car accident like a little fender bender the other day in one of the more just perfect new york moments i'm driving by the lincoln tunnel on 10th or 11th avenue and um this guy just completely sideswipes me like hits the side of my car the where he hit was like my between like right where the driver's side door and the back door like meet so i'm like past this guy like he was it was like he was moving into my lane as i was driving couldn't even really see him didn't even realize what happened until it happened and i'm like you, and so I actually pulled off this way, because it was like

a little spot to park, and he pulled off that way, so we're kind of on opposite sides of the street, and I get out, and I'm like, and he's like, kind of broken in English, and he's like, what was that, I was like, what do you mean, what was that for me, what was that for you, and he's like, you saw me coming, I was like, I didn't see you coming, because you were fucking behind me, how could I have seen you coming, and he was like, well, the truck was coming i didn't see you coming because you were fucking behind me how could i have seen you coming and he was like well the truck was coming i was like i couldn't see the truck either and he goes what do you want me to do hit the truck i was like i don't know about the truck we're screaming like this arms flying he's starting to cross the street i'm like i don't know what's about to happen and by the time he gets there i look and i'm able to just kind of like buff out this the scrape and there was really no dent maybe like a little one and he kind of done the same thing and by the time we like meet each

other it was like all right you're good you're good all right i'm good it was like that remember that that fake viral video the two guys like motherfucking each other and they just walked in a separate way it was like that but in real life i wish somebody i wish there was like a camera of it like a street camera, like me. And then I was like, I definitely don't want my insurance to go up. And I like, I don't want to deal with him. Fuck it, let's just go. And I was like, what are we going to call the police?

We'll be here for like two hours. Like, see you later. It's like, this is, I'm sure I'm not supposed to do it this way, but whatever. Yeah. What is wrong with you? I, what's wrong with me? Clearly, I just have some aggression. I need to get out on a random stranger, and I'll be good to go home with my wife. Now we're fine.

What do you got in your black book? Okay, so we have a couple of things today. First, it's just a simple question for the group. When you walk into a building, so when I walk into a building, I immediately turn my music off. Is that weird? No. Like I walk into it. I'll turn turn my music off. Is that weird? No. I'll turn it down or off. I turn it down.

Okay, you turn it down. Everyone does that. I think you just need to, like, because what if someone, if there's a doorman or someone says something to you? Even if I go into Duane Reade, I'm like, I fucking pause music. I think that's because anywhere that there's, like, it's anywhere. If I'm in Moynihan Train Hall, I can have the music on because high ceilings, all that stuff. It's when I feel a little closed in when there's fucking shelves or a lower roof, I feel very trapped.

So I have to have one escape and the music has to go. I always thought that was weird. I think it's a little weird, but I think we're all weird people. Okay. I'm going to guess someone's going to tell us it has something to do with anxiety. Probably. And I think everyone in here has a little bit of that. But I also think it's a little bit of manners.

I don't know. For whatever reason, it makes me feel like I'm now in a place where somebody might be talking to me and I don't want to be the asshole. There's nothing worse than when someone in front of you is at a checkout and is like, what'd you say? And it's like, dude, you're playing music. Turn right the fucking musical right you don't have to ask what they said exactly just to fucking listen like when i'm walking in the street no one there's no i mean yeah i guess there is a chance that someone will want to interact with me but i'm basically in my

own bubble yeah and then when i get somewhere there's going to be a cashier or uh whatever and other patrons whatever it may be. And I'm just like, I need to not be an asshole to these people. That makes sense. I use the ones I actually lost them. I hope they come on as a sponsor again, those Sennheisers, which all you have to do is do a little double tap. And then it lowers the music a little bit and turns on a microphone so you could hear what's going on around you. It's fucking awesome.

Yeah. But I lost them. James Bond shit. Yeah. Yeah, but I lost him. Please be a sponsor again. Okay, so speaking of Dwayne Reed, actually, I was in Dwayne Reed this morning, so I was picking up my pills. Oh, we never talked about your Dwayne Reed experience a few weeks ago when you just walked into an on-fire Dwayne Reed. That Dwayne Reed is still closed, by the way.

Well, I bet it was. It was on fire. Dude, it was. I don't think I knew this. Do you have pictures or anything? I bet it was. It was on fire. I don't think I knew this. I tweeted two pictures. You'll have to pull it up up there. Fire from

Fights Barstool. I'm in Dwayne Reed. Headphones on. Honestly, at this point, I might have had the music playing because I was a little buzzed. If I'm a little drunk, I don't turn the music off. I walked to the back. I forget what I was even looking for.

I ended up just buying ice cream, I think. But, like, I was in there for more of, like, a full shopping experience. Is that smoke? Yeah. I was going to get, like, shampoo and I was going to get, like, all kinds of shit. And I walked to the back. And, bro, I just – the back and bro i just the greeting card wall was just engulfed in flames like dude like i'm talking like backdraft style like full

fucking flames and the reason the only reason i didn't take a picture of that is because there were a bunch of duane reed employees like scrambling around it and like i felt kind of bad like if i was like i'm gonna film this like i don't know i just felt kind of bad. Like, if I was like, I'm going to film this. Like, I don't know. I just felt kind of an asshole. Like, not helping the situation and just fucking doing it. Like, they actually, at one point,

they held the extinguisher out at me. And I just threw my hands up. Like, I don't want to use a fire extinguisher. We're like, a firefighter?

I have no idea how to use a fire extinguisher. You buried the lead, bro. That's the point. They wanted you to be the fucking... They had a couple of them.

Like, there were a bunch of Dwayne Reed's employees scrambling, trying to figure out what to do. And they were like, here, here. And I was like, I don't know what to do with that fucking thing. I'm going to casually walk to the front, buy some ice cream, and get the fuck out of here. So you still paid?

I still paid. Still checked out. They were still just like... Very weird. I don't think they knew up front how bad the fire was. Downstairs? Again, like I said... Was it multi-level or just back?

Just back. No, come on. This is... I can understand multi-level or just back? Just back. No, come on. I can understand multi-level. You're paying here and you just look down there and there's a ton of smoke and you don't know it. That's bananas. What date did I tweet this out? August 16th? 18th?

18th. So this is about two weeks ago. The Duane Reade is still closed. So there's a big enough fire to shut it down for a couple weeks. It's the one by my apartment. It's where I usually get my medicine. So now I have to go to a different Dwayne Reed to get my medicine. That is hilarious.

Which, by the way, the new medicine. This is the strongest antacid in the world. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which, by the way, I didn't have it for a few days. And, like, immediately, right? I can't believe I lived like that. I didn't have it for, like, three days. I was like, I can't eat anything.

Wow, it's that good, huh? It is. Bro, I don't know if I've said this on the podcast, but I am on heartburn medication that causes dementia. Like, my doctor told me, like, we can't leave you on this for that long because you'll become demented. It is a problem.

But, bro, what I didn't know is that everything's all connected. Everything's all connected. Yeah. Right? So, like, you know how I never pooped? Bro, I poop all the time now. Bro, now my metabolism is fucking. Bro, I'm like the time now. It is. Bro, now my metabolism is fucking. Bro, I'm like the fucking bad guy in the mask.

Where I just suck up the bullets, just spit them right back out. Bro, if I ate right now, I'd shit before this podcast ended. It is crazy what's happening in my life right now. I have the most regular bowel system in the world. It's unbelievable. It is. I can't believe you guys got to live like this to it man you guys got to live like this like you wake up in the morning and shit like dude i walked around like i walked around feeling

like a bag of shit yeah you will like i think they say at any given moment you you can have anything from like one to like 20 pounds of shit in your body you must have been 20 i was always at 25 i was an overstuffed bag of shit. At all times. When they say 10 pounds of shit in a five-pound bag, that's you. I feel unbelievable these days. It's such a regular. I know I ate too many beets yesterday.

I know that. Don't ask me how I know it. I know I know it. I'm picturing this guy just sashaying around the world, gallivanting, doing that ballet jumping. Like, I shit two times a day now, baby. Dude, it's crazy. You're those weird-ass commercials where it's like, I'm not bloated anymore.

Yeah. Bro, I've been bloated for the better part of two decades. Okay? Bro, I almost texted the group the other morning. Dude, it was, I was on my fourth shit of the day. I want you to guess what time it was. God. You're like Stu Finer now.

I want you to guess what time it was. What, like 2 p.m.? It was 10 a.m. 10? Okay, now the pendulum is the other way. Look at Pat's face. I think the pendulum swung back a little too much. It was 10 o'clock in the morning.

Poor Jack. The problem with that is because now I smoke weed and I smoke weed at night and I am like you are or used to be where it's just like I'm a high school kid. It is. Everything in sight. So I wake up and it's just fucking...

Okay. Alright, next story. Polly. I tweeted this too. We haven't talked about it. Some of you might have missed it. Polly's name is story Polly, I tweeted this too We haven't talked about it Some of you might have missed it Polly's name is not Polly It's Geraldine Geraldine

I remember when she was like She's like, I was Geraldine for three months And my mom decided she didn't like it, so she changed it to Polly And I actually hate Oh, okay, so this is good I was doing an ad read And I was like, wait, while we're at it, let's talk about this tweet.

I thought that, you know when sometimes nicknames don't make sense, where it's just like, oh, you're John, we'll call you Jack. I thought it was like Geraldine somehow equals Polly. No, no, no. So they just said, this name sucks. My grandmother was like, I'm so tired of calling her Polly. How long was it? Three months.

See, I think there should be a six-month window where you can change names. It's a big decision. And, I mean, I'll tell you what. It would take me six hours to realize that Geraldine sucks. What do you call her? Jerry? Call her Dean? Geraldine?

Or the whole thing? Geraldine? Such a mouthful? Call this bitch Polly. But, like, even my mom, like, she was like, yeah. she's yeah and then so like three months she just started calling polly what's on the birth certificate geraldine she never that's why i was like so are you saying on your birth certificate says geraldine she was yeah probably does she travel uh does she ever travel with a with a with a passport yeah what does that say uh probably paula paula yeah okay so that's i couldn't think

of where but she she is not paroled paroled she has never legally changed her name so yeah but so maybe maybe her mom changed it but geraldine does not make sense but like maybe she maybe but the reason if it says paul on her passport, it must be... Her mom must have changed the birth certificate. Or maybe when she got... Right? When you get a license, do you bring your birth certificate?

I can't remember. Probably. I have no recollection. Probably do, because you probably need to prove everything. Is her middle name Paula? No. And then it just changes to first?

It's a completely different name. I'm not going to give that to her. That's too many names. It's funny that you have this, though, because my grandma was Patricia, and her name was Helen. No reason. Don't fucking know. I'm sure there was a reason why. Ask my mom.

I don't know what it is, but there a reason i'm assuming um it is it was usually they just got tired of calling me that i was like she didn't realize the gravity of what she was saying until i was like wait so what's on your birth certificate and she was like i guess yeah i guess it's probably geraldine on the birth certificate which is just i don't know what's crazier gerald your mom not knowing what her name is, or you not knowing what your mom's name is. What do you mean? I know what she told me the whole life.

Yeah, yeah. It was kind of one of those things. It's like I'm my mother's child. It's kind of one of those things where she was like, I didn't realize this was a thing. We were telling stories about people changing names or whatever. She was like, oh, yeah, my name's changed too. And it just never popped up.

It just never popped up. Yeah. never popped up yeah it is it was it was quite and it's but it's funny it was over and it was like they had to come up that weekend and nate was like wait what like i would i would maybe you know it would if it was just like i'm uh i'm not like um. I'm like Courtney or I don't know something like Polly and Gertrude or Geraldine. Geraldine. What? I think that your grandma named her thinking of like her parents or grandparents. Geraldine, that name is dead.

Yeah. That's right alongside. That's next to Hitler in the graveyard. My mom's sisters all have very regular names. Like not – Really? Yeah. Could you imagine –

There's a Maggie. Could you imagine – I guess Maggie is a little older kind of feels. I think Maggie, Margaret, I think that's kind of making a little – There is a little bit of a comeback in classic names for some of them. I know like Maeve, like an Irish name. Maeve is kind of like a hot one now. The boys.

And then certain names like I think like Gertrude and Agnes and Beatrice are like. Yeah. They're not coming back. They're just done. They were laid off. Right. It's just like, no, they're just not coming back. They're just done. They're laid off. Right. It's just like, no,

we're not naming it. But like, could you imagine like your nickname would be Gerald or Jerry? I think it's Jerry. Yeah. Like imagine just calling like, you know, she's 12 years old and people are like,

Hey Gerald. What? Yo, Jer. What are you? A fat British farmer? Yeah. Like you just can't,

can't have that. And the last thing, I have shared this with you. I've tweeted this opinion. I don't know if anyone's followed my lead on this thus far. The Patient on FX is unbelievable. I have not watched that yet.

That's Steve Kroger. Oh, I have watched it. I watched the first two episodes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Really good. Yes, very good. I wish it was an hour. It's short Kroger. Oh, I have watched it. I watched the first two episodes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Really good. Yes, very good. I wish it was an hour. I know. It's short episodes, and it's a show that should be longer. And it's a miniseries, so I'm guessing it's like six 20-minute episodes. Yeah.

I had to guess. I don't know. I just watched the first two. The third one came out yesterday. The third one's sick, too. The third one came out on Tuesday. You'll see this on Thursday. But this came up.

As far as kidnappings go He's got a good enough setup Right Kind of got a lot of natural light Yeah Got a nice comfy bed He's got sliding doors right there Got sliding

Yeah like It's a pretty good setup So What I was wondering Say you got kidnapped In this fashion How long until you beat off Cause like there Great question got kidnapped in this fashion. How long until you beat off?

Because like they're great questions. That is a great question. I heard Burt had a good one on their podcast the other day. If you were stranded on an island with Jennifer Aniston, how long before she would become attracted to you.

And they were just like, oh, I'm tired. But how long before you would jerk off if you were kidnapped? That is... If you're in a basement surrounded by rats, I don't know, maybe it's a little longer. He's got a nice setup. But even that... Yeah, I'd get there eventually.

It would just be much faster in this fashion. Yeah. No matter that. Yeah, I'd get there eventually. It would just be much faster in this fashion. Yeah. No matter where I am, I'd get there. But this. Wouldn't you be. I would be disappointed in myself. If I was laying in this bed, chained up. Wait, he's in a bed?

Sorry. I'm not spoiling anything really, right? No. Yeah, he has a bed. The literal opening scene is him waking up in the bed yeah it's it's very we can just tell the plot right yeah yeah he's a he's a psychiatrist a psychologist and the guy is a serial killer and he was like i'm not i was not getting anywhere with you i need to tell you the truth so he kidnaps him so he's like we're gonna have our

sessions here now and i can tell you that i'm a serial killer. And so he treats him well, feeds him and all that shit. But I think I would be – How is he chained up? It's like a heavy-duty ankle thing around like a – Ankles? Nothing that would hinder a masturbation session. I was going to say, yeah. Yeah, no.

But like wouldn't you be – I would be like you're so despicable. If I was kidnapped and I wake up with like morning wood. Oh, I didn't even think about morning wood, dude. So I said. You know what I would do? I would justify it. I would be like, I need a clear head so I can figure out an escape plan. Yeah, but he meditates.

Yeah, yeah. It is. But wouldn't you be, I mean, it's not even how long do you jerk off? How long before you just start daydreaming about sex? When does your brain stop going like, all right, maybe I could use this or that? And then you're just like, remember that time Adrian and Chachik got double teamed? The moment that your brain – it's like how big of a pervert are you? Would your kidnapped brain still just like start thinking about sex?

I think I would wake up. So my initial answer had been, after 48 hours, the next time I go to bed, I'd probably pee off. But with the morning wood, it might be within 12 hours. If he knocked me unconscious and I woke up in a strange bed with a heart off. Before you even knew. I'd be like, no. you even knew like no we're quick fucking walk around a room with a

boner no I'll fucking I'll fucking jerk off and I'll go exploring dude I would it's like okay I think I'm kidnapped I don't want to be kidnapped with a boner I want to just be kidnapped so let me just take care of this real quick dude the first time he came in the room I'd be like Jesus Christ come on some privacy here.

What are you, an animal? Come on. It is. It would come. Dude, he'd come back. It would just be me, like, in bed. Like, I'd be. I'd have made myself so at home.

I'd have fucking cum rags. Oh, my God. I'd be like, dude, you got to do the sheets. He's like, what happened to the sheets? I came. All of them. I'd be like, you put the toilet paper too far away. I've been wiping the cum on the sheets. He's like, what happened to the sheets? I came. All of them. I've been wiping. You put the toilet paper too far away. I've been wiping the cum on the sheets.

That might be the way out. Don't tell me you've never gotten lazy and fucking wiped some cum on some sheets. Oh. Bro, forget about wiping. I've just gone on the sheets. You just put it on your hand. You're like, ugh. You do the side?

Yeah, I do the side. As if that matters. I'll do the laundry tomorrow. Next thing you know, it's tomorrow and you're wiping fucking cum on a hard sheet now. I can't tell you how many times I've done the, like, but I'm washing them tonight. No, you're not, bro. No, you're not. Would you spill milk in here?

Disgusting. That guy would come down And I'd have He's got He's got a You know what they give Like a bedpan He's got a bedpan

And he'd come down And it would just be Full of toilet paper And he'd be like Oh boy Think I'd take a big shit Come dude Nah dude

That is I think that's what I would do That is a bunch of cum I got so much vitamin D In this fucking You got this nice Natural light in here If I got Chained up to a fucking bed, whatever it was,

I think I would, like, walk to the... Until it was tight. And I would just, like, jerk off there. Like, you don't want to play this game? I'm coming all over your basement. How about that, bro? Fucking... You literal jerk off.

There's a movie coming out, actually. I heard a story when I was a kid, or maybe not a kid, but just younger, that fucked me up good. And it's actually, I can't believe it's being made into a movie. I think it's called The Woman in the Box. Something like that. It's the most, I don't even like talking about it

because it fucks me up so much these this couple kidnapped this woman and she lives in the box spring of their bed they put her under the mattress so she lays flat and it's mattress and like box and then they like let her out to like eat and they just put her back in there and she lived in there i can't even fucking it fucks me up true story yeah and then she lived there for like seven years or 11 years or something and she eventually got out and i don't know how like one day she finally like had a weapon or they they slipped up or something but they would just let her out to like eat and i'm sure they like abused her and shit and they put her just back in this box imagine just being like look oh jesus i never even pictured it like that i pictured it like she was starfished out like you don't even have the room girl in the box it is it fucks me up dude imagine just living underneath a bed like they

fucked on top of her yeah i think that think that was, I think, unfortunately, part of it was like a sexual thing. Ugh. And I saw, like, I don't think I could watch the movie. I learned about that. What year did that happen,

did it say? I just feel like I'm... 77. Oh, okay. So I definitely, yeah, I could have learned this at any point. I feel like I found out about it

when I was like, you know, like seventh grade and I remember, it's stuck with me ever since. It's like my actual nightmare and then they're making this goddamn movie about it. Jesus Christ. It fucks me up, man.

Oh, speaking of movies, we got to get to all the drama in Hollywood and everything going on there. You're watching Patient. I watched The Sandman over this little break that we had. How is that? It's actually not bad. It's a DC comic. Yeah. I don't like the lead, but it's a cool world.

There's a guy who's called The Dream. There's Dream, Despair, Death, and something else with a D. Isn't the devil in that? Brienne of Tarth? Yes. Brienne of Tarth is in it. Tywin Lannister is in it. Oh, fuck it.

So they have that vibe to it. What's his name? Charles Dance? I don't even know. I don't know. He's awesome. There are definitely corny, cheesy, fantasy. This should be on the Sci-Fi Channel moments. But then there's a couple really good episodes

where they almost do the fly episodes of Breaking Bad. They break off for a moment, and they do really cool things. So that's something I would have never watched that I just was killing killing time and I ended up, I'm almost done with the first season already. Thrones is, Thrones is back. Thrones is back.

But what? I have not watched the recap show, but we agree, Crabman is not dead, right? What? I mean, he's sliced in half. That's not him. That's him. Why is that him? That was definitely him. I mean, he's sliced in half. That's not him. That's him. Why is that him? That was definitely him.

Why? Because he's got a mask on? You can't have a character that big and we don't even see the death. No, actually, we talked about that. I think that was more just to further Damon. I don't think that he's really the big villain. I was going to say,

I didn't care for him as a villain. I thought it was really good. I think that was just like we need big villain i was gonna say i didn't really care i didn't care for him as a villain yeah i think that was just like we need because damon is was such an asshole and i think this was supposed to be like a little bit of his face turn you know what i mean yeah and the only like the only thing worse than this prick the whole time is going to be like this fucking just disgusting guy so i think he was just kind of almost like a a vehicle to to be able to make damon Damon become like somewhat of a good guy

I can see that that's kind of lame though but we were saying I mean they made a big deal on him in three episodes so I should see him die you know what I said to me yes

they should have just shown like if it was a quick battle that'd be fine that's why I'm still skeptical I get him being used as a vehicle but like

I mean that's he's arguably he's the biggest villain right now it was very weird. Three episodes into the show. It was very strange to just – like, when he was dragging someone out, I was like, wait. And they didn't even zoom in on, like, the fucking – what do you call it?

The grayscale. The grayscale. Yeah. It was at the very least – I saw Dave quote to them this morning. He's in the Sons of Harpy mask. He is. Why would he be in the Sons of Harpy mask?

Right. He is. They actually confirmed that because that's an old order in ASOS where he's from. He's also a prince, they said. Yeah, Prince Tahar. Which I was like, what the fuck is that? Right. Someone tweeted that's from Westeros. I think it's ASOS though.

I might just be speaking gibberish to people. But yeah, the Sons of the Harpy are like an old thing. They brought that back when Daenerys took over. Okay, I thought that was founded when Daenerys took over. Yeah, no. It was a... It's kind of like... what do we have here? The Monarch?

No. What's one that National Treasure is all about? Those guys. The Freemasons? Yeah, yeah. Stuff like that. It's supposed to be that. And the Illuminati type shit?

Yeah, stuff like that. I just thought that Daemon pretending to surrender and dicing everybody up was one of the – I think it's one of the cooler, I guess, battle scenes that they've ever done. I know. It was a great scene. It was awesome. And then Dracar – we did say on Game of Stools, me, Clem, and Robbie – do you want to do this week?

I think I tweeted that out. You tweeted it. We had not discussed it prior to that tweet. Homeboy looks like Jaden Smith yes doing like Dracarys I was like oh that was him I couldn't figure out who it was I thought it was Sir Christian I was like what the fuck is Sir Christian

it was that dude because he was the one who was like at least Damon fights like let's go but he was like woo Dracarys it's either got to be like a Dracarys or like a roar, you know what I mean? That makes a lot more sense. He was like, Clem said it was like Jonah Hill in This is the End when he has the gun. He's like, bang, bang, you're dead, you're dead. Dracarys, Dracarys, you're Dracarys, he's Dracarys.

But, you know, it's not that it's easy to do, but it ain't hard either. We just got back to basics. There's a throne. There's some politics. There's a dead guy. You're taking the throne. I'm taking the throne. There's some sex.

There's some weird shit going on. I mean, we're going to marry two-year-old babies. It's not that hard. They just got so overcomplicated with it at the end there. There is a bit of a – not that like like there is no right answer if this part doesn't satiate me really but like it is a little disappointing that like when Damon came up from under that like where

he was hiding with all the arrows and he's completely surrounded and you're like well the dragon's coming we know the dragon's coming like 100% knew the dragon was coming but it was still dope when it was like for sure but it was like the dragon was the the carrot that we had for so long. Yeah. Like, you know, and then it was a big thing.

Now, not only do we get it all the time, it doesn't even really work that well. Like, I mean, it works, but, like, the dragons couldn't beat the fucking crab guys? Yeah. I get it. You can't, like, get in the mountains, but it's like... It used to be, if you have a dragon, one. It's over. It's over.

You know, and now it's like, well, the dragons aren't really doing... You know, they're having, like, a bad game. Yeah, and they have, like... What? They have three. you have a dragon one it's over and now it's like well the dragons aren't really doing they're having a bad game they have a bunch of them yeah so there's a couple things

I very very much like I've said it a million times but the fact that we pretend we weren't going to watch it took zero episodes they didn't even have one bad day

of like see I told you Thrones was dead right away it was like record breaker which uh i did watch uh lord of the rings last night nick did you just watch it yeah no i watched you i don't know it came out i gotta re-watch it though because i was drinking when i watch it it's

you know it's fine um that's the thing and they have stuff it's got a plot it's got like a you know what's funny like one of the knocks though is that it's like the pg-13 version of throne there's no sex and violence and there was a scene uh with like an orc sort of thing and this chick like fucking and they cut it you know it's like yeah and then they cut to her holding it and it was like i don't know just show that it's an orc it's not like you know i can understand like you don't show humans or whatever like you can chop a monster's head off come on it's fucking the uh amazon you said pg-13, but I saw a tweet where it was like, Game of Thrones is like, meet the new character, woman slicer and halfer. Yeah. And Lord of the Rings is like, meet the new character.

His thing is he makes soup for his neighbors and goes and sings them a song. It is. There's a lot of that. That's fine. You know what? They just should have... It's crazy that they went up against Thrones.

They should have just waited to the end and then been like, if you still want to watch more fantasy stuff, here you go, you know? Because it is very true to like Lord of the Rings.

It even does feel like the old movies in ways, but it's when... It's just going to be compared to Thrones. And there's just no shame in... It's like, yeah, okay. we're second to Game of Thrones.

Like, not that big of a deal, guys, but Bezos got all cocky. You see Elon Musk trashing it? Yeah. You know, that's just like, you know, it's just like, I hate Bezos. We're doing billionaire shit and whatever. But, yeah, anything else, any forceful DVR, anything else people are watching, send it in. Welcome to Rexham is very good. I've not caught up, but Welcome to Rexham is sick.

I mean, I went into it kind of being like, not wanting to be a contrarian, but wanting to be like, all right, almost like we do with The Rock. There's got to be something about these guys that is not as charismatic as it appears on the surface. So far, nothing. So far, the exact opposite. It's like, God damn it. Sometimes it just happens.

Like, like, like they're so charismatic that like the, like this, so they had like a, like a zoom call. Cause this was heavy quarantine kind of deal. Like when the sales going down and like the people,

like, what is your connection? And they are so charismatic. They can be like, we have no connection. This is a business venture, but like, make it like cute.

They're like, okay. Like, they're like, but like, we're falling in love with it. But that's the thing is like, if you're honest and like, we have no connection. This is a business venture. But make it cute. They're like, but we're falling in love with it. But that's the thing. If you're honest, but I will love it or I love the idea of it or whatever, it's like, okay. Yeah. And they seem like awesome owners. And those guys are just – they're awesome.

Yeah. That's how it goes. For nobody else except for the gazelles of the world that we talk about. There's only a handful of people that are cool like that. How preposterous. I love the world. I love the world. Even for one second thinking that Harry Styles spit in Chris Pine's lap.

It's fucking insane. Can you imagine being his PR person? This is what I have to answer today yeah did my client get fucking spit on yeah his statement was like

did you read it it was like all this does is provide like an opportunity for foolish conjecture and I know Chris Pine is not a social media guy but like if this happened

to me somehow I'd be like he didn't fucking spit on me you weirdos you know what I mean like it's such an opportunity to just be like what are't fucking spit on me you weirdos you know what I mean like it's such an opportunity to just be like

what are you guys talking about it's fucking I don't know what happened he definitely like freezes and Harry he has my best

my the best theory I saw and I don't think I don't think it was anything other than I think he had something in his hand

and he just dropped it and I don't know what like I don't think it has anything to do with Harry Styles I don't think he did anything other than I think he had something in his hand and he just dropped it. And I don't know what, like, I don't think it has anything to do with Harry Styles. I don't think he did anything. But I, somebody said that they thought he was like sitting down and went, pussy. Which could be funny. Like, I would do that to you. Like, I'm getting my applause. It's like, shut up, pussy.

And you're like, what? Fuck. But I don't know what it was, but it wasn't spitting in my lap. I wanted Harry Styles to tweet, I did that shit. Yeah, yeah. Like, quote tweet the press release and just Styles to tweet, I did that shit. Yeah, yeah. Like, quote, tweet the press release and just be like, nah, I did that. Yeah, yeah. I don't know what Chris is talking about.

I hocked a loogie right on his fucking dick. Yeah. That, at the same. That whole movie is insane. A wreck. I mean, it is. And then the reviews are bad. So it's like, if this movie just sucks, that'd be very funny.

It is. If the movie just bombs. I heard it's a very simplistic feminist message. Yeah, it sounds very... I saw a tweet on Black Twitter that was funny. You guys are just making up white people every day. Who's Florence Pugh? I mean, I know she's been in some bigger movies, but it's like we are just...

Now this is the big star we have to worry about? I don't give a fuck about Florence Pugh. The, um, what was I going to say? But there are the videos of, like, Chris Pine's coming out on top. Yes, because he doesn't have any. It's just like, whatever fucking weirdness. Like, it is. Those interviews were weird, apparently.

I didn't see them, but he's just like. He's kind of like disassociated and kind of staring. There's one where, like, I think it's a video. It's like, you can watch his neck catching his screams. And it's just like, he'll have a random black. But then there's another one where he's like, I guess he's making a face. It's just him and Harry in an interview. And Harry Styles is, you know, he's a fucking, I don't know.

He got famous when he was like 17. He's not super educated. I'm sure he reads books and all that shit, but he's not educated. And someone asked him, like, what's so great about the movie? And he's like, what's so lovely about the movie is that it feels like a movie. And Chris Pine's sitting there, and he's one of those famous families of Hollywood. So it's like this is even funnier when you realize that Chris Pine grew up in Hollywood and has an English degree from Cal Berkeley.

And he's listening to someone go, the movie feels like a movie. I will say first time, I am a huge Chris Pine guy. I think he's the top Chris in the world. It's him and Evans, but yeah. I think he looks

terrible right now. I thought Jackie nailed it. You're a 2001 Jennifer Aniston looking headass. I haven't seen... Specifically sitting in... Come on, dude. Come on, that's fucking weird, dude.

That's weird. Why is it weird? That hair is weird. Come on, what do you mean? He has two-toned hair. You look like a... You look like a girl who needs to get her roots done. It's just like shitty, weird hair.

His jacket's a little hair-fitting, but aside from that, he is fucking... I mean, his face is always going to be hot. He needs his beard. He always looks hotter with the beard, right? Or the scruff, I should say. And then Harry Styles' fucking collar. What the... That was unbelievable.

I think he also looked great. He looks like he could. No, but this is what I. John, those collars are fucking ridiculous. Yeah, they're ridiculous, but they're cool. He looks like something from A Nightmare Before Christmas. I think he looks good. Like a Tim Burton character.

You don't think that looks good. You think that Harry Styles looks good in that. Yes. If you saw that on a regular ticket first. He's not at a regular fucking. He's not at dinner. But on a regular ticket first. He's not at a regular fucking dinner. He's at a Venice Film Festival. I know. If I walked into McDonald's and saw you wearing that, you'd look ridiculous.

Right. The red carpet at the Venice Film Festival would be sick. But when you say objectively if something looks good or looks stupid, that looks stupid. No, it looks cool in the moment. Everything's in the environment it's in. I don't think cool is a, hey guys, you want to see my collar? It's bigger than a regular collar. It's cool because it's bigger than a regular collar.

I think as far as vibes go, I think that's got a cool vibe to it. I mean, it's Harry Styles. The Chris Pine picture that went viral fairly recently where he looks like your aunt on Martha's Vineyard is fucking dope, too. I don't think I do. Dude, put Chris Pine camera, maybe. You're going to hate it, Kevin. I'm sure.

Yeah, right there. The fourth one, top right. Yeah, right there. Vibey, dude! That's a motherfucking vibe, bro. He looks like a fisherman of some sort, right? He's going to get off the deck of the boat. Dude, that's a motherfucking vibe he looks like a fisherman of some sort right like he's gonna get off like the deck of the boat that's like i swear to god i promise you this if you walk in wearing that i will slap you in the face if you look like that i will give you an open hand slap to the face i don't wear horizontal stripes no way no way um at the same fucking festival with

all this drama is brendan frazier getting a six minute ovation yeah man that's about half of what banshee's insurance got which is bullshit by the way yeah like he if you're gonna he should he should get the 12 why because he's been through hell and fucking i love brendan frazier but you think you think the whale is better than the banshee's insurance doubt it i think that brendan frazier deserves just the most attention out of all of it and the fact that he uh and now that like people some people are gonna are getting up so brendan frazier is in this movie called the whale he put on 50 pounds to do it and then they're also doing a fat suit that's kind of tough oh okay yeah yeah you're playing a 600 pound character we're gonna put on about 50 to make it look real he's doing a fat suit and then cgi the story is this guy who's a 600 pound teacher

who's who's become a recluse and he's trying to reconnect with his estranged daughter um but much like when a straight guy plays a gay person or whatever people are upset about that and they're upset about they're like it's they're like, it's called The Whale and it's pretty much like talking about how this guy was like subhuman because he was fat. It's dehumanizing and it's like rude and insensitive.

And I don't care about that, but I do see where they're coming from. I'm surprised that Hollywood even made this movie right now because of just like how it goes. But how many people are upset about it? This is one of those things that's always like, what are four?

We have what? A grand total of 2,400 pounds of people upset about this? Sounds like a lot, but it's actually only four people. I was doing one minute, man, and Nick goes, I mean, you know, if you're 600 pounds,

that's not Brandon Frazier's fault. That has nothing to do with Brandon Frazier. But I mean, Brandon Frazier, he got sexually assaulted. Well, I've seen that a lot. He got groped by a guy like Phillip somebody, who I think was just like a big-time, big-wig studio producer. And he has said, like, is that him? I mean, that sucks if that guy assaulted you. Because it does suck where it's like, is that him? I mean, that sucks if that guy assaulted

you. Because it does suck where it's like, Brendan Fraser probably could have fucking cracked that guy's skull. He could have shattered his face. But then you're like really blackballed. You know what I mean? Same thing with when Terry Tate got Is that his name? The big black guy? Terry Crews.

Terry Crews. He was Terry Tate office. Office Tate. He could kill anybody, but he's like he can't you know because of the power but you do he got he got groped by him and then when he spoke out about it he says he thinks part of the reason why he just fell off and never got any more roles was because he kind of got blackballed because he was like the mummy and george of the jungle he was in looney tunes he was like you know starring man and then all the roles dried up. He also said he got really hurt

doing stunts for The Mummy. Which I think probably also meant he probably had surgeries and was on drugs. Not just like I hurt. It was probably like it led to a lot of problems. And then he pays $50,000 a month in alimony. And he filed to change it. He was like,

I'm not getting movies anymore. I can't keep up with 50K a month. And alimony is such bullshit because it's like child support is one thing. Alimony is just like, you're paying for this fucking woman. Like, fuck that, man. I understand alimony when it's like, we're a normal couple,

and I quit my job to raise the kids, so this is my income, basically, and you can't just leave me high and dry. 50K a month for this guy like and so 50k a month

is what he's been doing for the last 20 years forever yeah since they got fucking divorced I don't know when it was but it's been a long

fucking time and so he's just like a sad story and now he's got this like comeback and it's like

if you guys complaining about the fats are gonna ruin this fucking story no you're not like shout out to brendan frazier you deserve the fucking love man you deserve part of me would be like fuck you guys now you want me back but like but whatever something i remember i read about all this like probably two years ago maybe a little more who he was on the

show promoting it remember yeah but it was around what was he promoting i think it was like a indie flick sort of thing wasn't it i thought it was like i what was he promoting? I think it was like an indie flick sort of thing, wasn't it? Was that it? I thought so. I thought he was in maybe like Yellowstone or one of those type shows. But the article I was reading, maybe that's what it was. He was around horses in the article, so I think Yellowstone. And he was wearing a cowboy hat.

But it was Esquire, GQ, one of those ones I read. And it was basically the same kind of thing, where he doesn't do interviews, doesn't do this stuff. That's why I think the movie actually works. He's like a recluse, and it's like society kind of judged like where he like doesn't do interviews doesn't do yeah yeah he's like a true that's why i think the movie actually works he's like a recluse and it's like society kind of judged him and all this shit so i think it all kind of works and i they're saying it's like an oscar worthy type thing so if they if they have any sense of the for the moment they'll just give it to him for best actor um okay uh we'll rattle through a couple other, um, uh, actually, do I have any more? That was kind of everything I had. All right.

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This is a who's the asshole that went viral. And I told everyone not, Nick had already heard it. Have you guys heard this? I made like three TikToks about this. It's crazy. It's so funny. Okay, so this is very funny let me pull up the the group text um okay what is tifu today i found out today i found

whatever my today i fucked up today i fucked up 25 male My 20 year old girlfriend Of two years Told me the music That I play during sex Is weird And a major turn off Did you Have you heard it

Yeah Yeah A little back story When I first started having sex I researched Into ways to be better As I was a little stiff And pretty much had no idea

What I was doing Good for him by by the way, to address the problem. Like, you know what? I don't think I'm good at this. And rather than just like flail around and not make girls cum,

I'm going to try to get better. Yeah. Yeah. You're still a pervert, but... Well, yeah. Naturally. I mean, I'm going on 15 years

of not fixing issues. 15 years? A little over 15. No, a little under 15. Yeah, you suck at sex. Over 15. And this guy tried to get better right away. Yeah.

Yeah, because I'm not a pervert. I read online that you can play music. I'm not a tryhard. This guy's trying to make people calm. Well, this guy's, this is where he becomes a pervert. I read online that you can play music and match the rhythm

in order to put on a better performance. I searched lovemaking songs and started slowly creating a playlist in which I was comfortable matching the rhythm there are a few songs on my playlist however there's one song in particular which actually happens to be my favorite that my girlfriend hates

and says turns her off in a major way I don't understand why it's taken her two years to tell me that she hates this song it's a good lovemaking song with good rhythm I feel the way I fucked up is I could have possibly asked her previously if she liked the playlist or any songs she'd like to add or change.

But to leave it up for two years thinking our sex life is great, but in her eyes has just been ruined by my music, has left the whole situation feeling awkward and I'm a bit annoyed. I pretty much played this tune every single time. So the amount of times she must have not been enjoying it when i thought the complete opposite is annoying but also embarrassing in a lot of ways not to mention my previous partners however they never complained about the song so

maybe it's just her it's fucked up the relationship because sex feels awkward now the other day we were having sex with no music but i was still thrusting to the tune playing in my head she recognized this and asked me to stop. Get out. I thought this song was perfect and always thrust along with the tune and feel that it gives me the perfect rhythm for doing the deed to. I usually bust. Out of nowhere, you're being the biggest nerd.

He goes, I usually bust to this song and find it devastating that she hates it. Now, that's all enough. This is what I get my fucking nut to, dog. That is all pretty weird and creepy. Can we play the song? So, let's play it right now. I probably can't put it in the YouTube. So, if you're watching, this is like the one time.

Honestly, the podcast feed, we can't put it on either. They checked that now, too. We can get away with that. It triggers, like it tells. All these other places, all these other podcasts are still playing music on their shit. We have to get away with this. Yeah. I'm willing

to risk it. Yeah, once you hear this. What happens if we don't get away with it? We could be sued and. As long as we get sued. I don't give a fuck about getting sued. But if we get like suppressed or something like that I'd rather not have that. But if we get sued I don't give a fuck about getting sued, but if we get suppressed or something like that, I'd rather not have that. But if we get sued, I don't care about that. There's a lot of buildup

in this song. Break me up. Show me what you got. No. Hudson Mohawk. Wait. The Satin Panthers.

Okay, now let's get real perverted. Everyone has to fuck on beat. Well, that's the thing. It's kind of weird. It's like slow. Oh, of course, they switched the beat up. You didn't miss a beat, bro. I think you fucked the song before.

You just went... It really is One Minute Man. There you go. Tell me what you got. One Minute Man. He's not doing all the moves. He's just doing the... Right? I hope.

If he's doing all of the... That is a preposterous way to have sex. I would go as far to say, I don't know, they're 25 and 20. This can definitely also be like an ethnic thing. Most of us are not having sex with music on, I would imagine.

I thought. Have you ever had sex with music on, Paz? No. Jackie? Not once. Yeah. Like romantic, like put on purpose or like music was at the party and like. Like I would just like put it on.

Oh, you would put it on. Well, there was one time because it was in high school and so like it would be like yeah that's back when you do dumb shit where you're like but there was one fucking time where i like put on a playlist i just shuffled the playlist and this was like with my like boyfriend of like he was like three months at the time and then three back-to-back songs about like i love you like all this played he knew that it was my like whatever so after that i didn't play any music ever and i won't i refuse to so they were um they were about like i love you and shit were they slow like romantic or were they like it was like they were like pretty fast like yeah because you could have like an r&b song like or like magic

stick or you know like a rap song that's like sexual but it's or is it like I Will Always Love You by Whitney Houston no it was like I just shuffled it wasn't good

I should have shuffled but you shuffled in like a romantic playlist or just any playlist no just all of it oh no you happened to hit three that's tough

I mean white people are just not fucking into music very often I don't think or if you are I think if you're trying to line up rhythm, you're a fucking loser. That, you're a loser. Yeah.

If music is on, because any time you have thin walls, you have kids, whatever, you put some music on. If you're like, let's put on our sex-having music. Which I did. That is not for the white people. I did my sophomore year of college. I did it one time. It was a love-making playlist. Oh, see, I did the opposite. I don't know what sex playlist. I did it one time. I had, like, a... It was a love-making playlist. Oh, see, I did the opposite.

I don't know what's worse. I did, like, what I just described. Like, I would have, like, 112 on there. Like, R&B, but it's, like, songs that people are, like, listening to on the radio that just happen to be about sex sort of thing. Mine... I was like, yeah, this'll work. Mine was...

I don't even know, like... Fucking loser. Mine was... There was all songs I played at the end of Scrubs. Like, as JD is talking. like, it's just all. I'll follow you into the dark in there. See, like, honestly, probably, I was called, it was called the Scrubs mix. That's it.

And it is, it was, it was just all. You never cease to amaze, bro. You never cease to amaze. It was like, it was all slower, like, lovemaking songs. But, like, I mean, like, I wasn't trying to fuck on beat. Yeah, that's weird. That's also because you have to move your hips to that. Yeah, you have to do the motion of the ocean.

Right, right. We don't do that. The motion of the ocean for us is just... It's a choppy day out on the waves. The white caps are out. The sea was angry that day. My motion is Marv in Home Alone 2 getting electrocuted. That's it.

That's my motion of the ocean. The fact that, like, that – it is weird. I always – I thought music was going to play a much bigger part of my sex life. Yeah, yeah, no. Again, some people – I think it does. But for us, the royal us, I just – first of all, I want to hear that flop, flop, flop. I want to hear all the noises of the sex. Oh, I don't care for the noises.

Really? Because when I hear something, I think other people hear it. Like I hate when the beds creak in. That bothers me. I'll grab a fucking... Pussy's okay. Pussy can talk. Let that pussy talk. But don't you scrape the fucking

floor with the bed. Like, the bed creaking is annoying, but yeah. Like, I want to hear that pussy talk, and I want to hear the, you know, the, like, your fucking cheeks banging off my, what, pelvis, I guess? Yeah, well, I also don't care for that because my pelvis, I guess.

I also don't care for that because I always know it's not your ass, it's not your pussy. It's my fucking stomach. I know what's making that slapping noise and it is. I'm like, is that my balls? What's making that noise right now? I need the noises, man. Very audible.

I can feel it. I know it's my stomach. Yeah. So I don't like that. I will be honest. I do not care for that. I don't like pretty much anything to do with my body ever. Also, I think we had this conversation privately.

I think you've joined me on my island over here. Only have sex out of bed. No. Are you still going to do it after you fucking put yourself out of bed? No. Are you still going to do it after you fucking put yourself out of commission for a week? You're going to go have sex on the floor again like an idiot? It is. Really?

No, no, no. I'm just not. I'm not confining myself to just the bed. Where else are you going to have sex? Rugs? I'm probably out on rugs. Rugs? Yeah.

I had motherfucker handsome rug motherfucker had some rug burn. Yeah, sweet. Okay, I agree with that. That's like having sex on a... I was like, ah, my knees are killing me. He's like, your knees are killing... I was like, I don't know why. So you don't know why?

You meant like your skin of your knees? I thought like you're like... Because here's the thing. To me, I mean, a rug is like being on a bed of thumbtacks. It's crazy. But, okay, so you're going to remove the rug and what? Have sex on, like, a hardwood floor? No, no, no.

Say, like, a fuck on a couch. Yeah, no. Yeah. I like fucking on a couch. Fucking on a couch I do regularly. Regularly? I do one leg on the ground, one knee on the couch. It's a nice little change of pace.

I've definitely done that. But then you're almost balancing like a fucking flamingo kind of. Just get me out of bed, bro. That was pretty slick there. You got that leg up pretty quick. I mean, I'm flexible. You know this, man. Dude, I was walking today, and some fucking guy died.

He's talking a little like Canadian, isn't he? I was walking today, and some fucking guy, you know? Bro, you know how they have those kind of like almost like upside down U's for like to chain bikes to? Yes. They're about this height. He's walking a dog. And on an exact block that I've on multiple occasions noticed that my shoe was untied. And I went, well, there's nothing I can do about it here.

So might as well keep walking until we find a fire hydrant or something. Wait, what? Oh, to pop your foot up? Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I've been on this exact block. It's right across from Peter McManus. And going, well, there's nothing here I can do.

And just continue walking like a four-year-old with an untied shoe. And this dude walked up to one of those things, didn't fucking break stride. It was just like, hmm. You can't even get up there, can you? And then just tied his shoe. I can't even tie my shoe. My leg's just tired. And then just tied his shoe. Come on, you can do it. I'll give you $20 if you then just tie it. I can't even tie my shoe. My leg's not. And then just tie it.

Come on, you can do it. I'll give you 20 bucks if you can tie your shoe. I'll give you 20 bucks. I'll give you 20 bucks. I got it right here, Doug. I got it right here for you. Come on. Double knot two, please.

With those fat fingers, too. I don't think it... Ah! Ah! With those fat fingers too. I don't think it... I don't know if you can do the loop though. The loop... Now these laces are getting small. All right. Double knot. It was dramatic.

It was down to the wire though. I thought you lost it for a second there. Wait, I have a question. Yeah. I was thinking about this. It was down to the wire, though. I thought you lost it for a second there. Wait, I have a question. Yeah. I was thinking about this. As, like, guys, do you guys have any instinct to, like, pee on a fire hydrant at all? Because it's my thought process. Please walk us through the thought process.

Please. So dogs obviously Instinctually want to pee on fire hydrants Right? I don't think so Well it's just they pee on things Well no they all are attracted to fire hydrants You're talking about cartoons

No it's not I've seen so many dogs You could also put like a lamppost there You could put a garbage can there. They just have to pee on things. And then cartoons has turned it into fire hydrants. Okay. So you thought that dogs...

Do you guys want to pee on things? Yeah. Oh, yeah. That for sure. Well, I'm not like... I don't want to just like... I'm not just like, oh, I wish I could whip it out on the corner right here and pee. You do.

Oh, yeah. Because we don't actually... I want to pee on everything. Yeah. I'm with you on that. Everything. Yeah? Yeah.

You? No. I just want to pee outside. Like when people... Yeah, I do like peeing outside. There is something weird about the breeze. Once the sun goes down, it's fair game. Yeah.

But I don't care what it's landing on. That's more about the atmosphere. I want to expose my dick to the atmosphere. I don't need to pee on things. Like when people love to pee in the snow and shit, I'm like, I don't know. I like a good snow pit. I like to pee right in the middle of the atmosphere. I don't need to pee on things. Like when people love to pee in the snow and shit, I'm like, I don't know. I like a good snow pit. I like to pee right in the middle of the field.

I like to put my dick through a chain link fence, pee there. Really? Yeah. That sounds dangerous to me. What if it's rusty? Yeah, what if you just

catch it in the hole? I'd pick and choose my chain link fence. It's like pissed into a big hole. I'd pick and choose my chain link fences. I'm not an animal. That is fucking hilarious. Like John goes up to one and he's like,

it's horribly riddled with fucking rust. You're like, well, I got it, but I got it. No, in that case, I would opt to piss onto a tree or something like that. But yeah, no, I pee on people. I love pee. What? You're going to pee on people?

If she asks? If they ask. I love pee on people. What? You're going to pee on people? If she asks. I've always thought that too. If you want me to pee on you, I'll pee on you. I'm not going to initiate, but I'll pee on you. I'll tell you what though. About 10 seconds in, I'd be like, this is fucked up. That's what you don't realize about pee. It's a long time. 10 seconds of

piss on you is a lot. Because guess what? I got 30 more seconds to go. Like, think about that one, too. Like, that NBA count is, like, even if, like, when you, like, a facial is, like, hot, but it's pretty quick. Yeah, yeah. This is, like, this ain't stopping. Anytime soon.

Like, I got to go, girl. No, I have a lot of pee. Like, if you do that, you have to almost prep for that. Yeah. I need to make sure. It's got to come out like water. Water, yeah. But then you're drinking a lot worse, so it's like, this is coming out.

Yeah, that would be a lot. You're going to be here for a minute. If you want to get up at any point, that's okay, but I'm going to be here for a while. Yeah, you don't have to do the whole thing. You can kind of take off. So anyway, back to this music, back to this am i the asshole i think he's the asshole for a lot of reasons but i think she's the asshole like i think this relationship's over to go two years is insane to go two years and because if you've gone two years then you got

to just fucking swallow that like you got to go a hundred years right you know, right, right. You know, because I'm going to be thinking, I would be done. I'd be like, we have to break up because now I think for the last two years, you secretly have been, like, basically making fun of me in your head, being like, this guy sucks. You know, like, that's too much.

This dude's taste in music is suck. If you're looking up, I mean, I guess, like, tip your cap to, like, you know, get better, get in the gym, fucking like, get your shots up, get your reps in. But, like, I don't know, man. If you're like, I need to learn how to fuck, I'm, get in the gym, get your shots up, get your reps in. But like, I don't know, man. If you're like, I need to learn how to fuck, I'm going to Google rhythm songs.

I think you're just probably never going to be able to fuck. Yes, I agree with that. Part of me also thinks that song is so ridiculous that maybe this is faked a little bit. Let me pick the most absurd song possible. I don't have a problem with you trying to get better playing music, but you do have to recognize if you suck that bad,

you're probably gonna suck forever. I agree. So like you probably should just punt on sex and be done with it, but you want to try to make yourself better. Fine. This girl, what she needs to do is take control of the playlist and be like, I know that we've been fucking to this song for two years.

I want to take control and play the music and then turn it into like a, like a thing. Cause just being like, Oh, by the way our whole sex life has sucked all along and i don't even want you fucking me ever in that same like cadence ever again that's crazy there was for her to just be like there was an edit they broke up they broke up because it went super viral on tiktok and because of that like the girl's sister put it together because apparently she'd been talking shit about that song.

I was going to say, man, Steve always plays that song every night. And the entire family found out about it. So it was like, yeah, they broke up. That's a put a bullet in your head sort of thing. I mean, the thing about it, though, is if you don't have kids and shit, just, okay. Never see you guys again. I'm going to go take my weird techno fuck song to somebody else. See you later, man. I'll tell you what. All weekend, though, to go take my weird techno fuck song to somebody else. See you later, man.

I'll tell you what. All weekend, though, I just kept connecting to Bluetooth and then putting that on. I was going to say part of me. And you know what? It works in a funny way. Yeah. Part of me thinks that. Is that popular?

Everyone recognizes you? Well, that's me and Christy. We see it every third TikTok. So it's like we knew about it. I could make this into my thing. It's almost like give me the aux cord. I'm playing Satin Panthers by Mohawk Hudson. And just be like, yeah, girl.

If we fuck, this is what we do. This is what we play. Get rid of that song. So I think everyone's a asshole. Voicemail time. It's brought to you by Roman. I'm going to try and find that playlist, by the way. I don't know if there's a way to. was definitely on like my itunes but i don't even

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Come on. Hey, KFC Fights, the rest of the crew, happy birthday. Jackie, got your gift for you right here. So if you ever make it to Canada, to Ontario to do a live show, this one's coming for you. But got a quick would you rather for you. Jackie just sold beans for me. Now, this one's coming for you. But I've got a quick Would You Rather for you. Now, I'm not fully team subtitles.

I'll have to admit I am more of a practice squad member. But the Would You Rather is having subtitles for anything all the time, just like everyone on team subtitles, or the ability to fast forward in a porn clip. So whether it's a classic that you know what's going down or you're trying out something new, you don't have the ability to fast forward or skip ahead. Wow.

Rather, no subtitles or lose the ability to fast forward in a porn clip. That's a fucking... Please do come to Ontario. Preferably London. The thing is, it's not, though. It is a good question,

but it's not hard. You gotta take the subtitles. No, you gotta take the fast forward, bro. I'm not going to watch porn music videos for the rest of my life. I'm going to start a fucking porn. You know me, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I get it.

I interview, and I'm good. And there is, in his day and age, most of them are like seven minutes. Although, most of them now, they're like seven minutes, and the first four are just then like dancing. I know. The dancing I hate., they're like seven minutes, and the first four are just them dancing. I know. The dancing I hate. When they're just like, cut it out. I'm not a child. You just shut up and suck a dick.

Open your ass cheeks. Enough. But, yeah, man, the first few minutes, you're telling me when you lost your virginity, what your favorite position is, and all that shit. See, I don't watch that much of that stuff. I like the. Also, I guess this is just me, though. Yeah. Because I was thinking, like,

well, people will just start making porn, where, like, right away it cuts to the chase, but it's just my brain. I'm sorry. You pretty much, like, watch a podcast before it gets going. Yep. Talk about bringing work home. I'm going to put on Carla Dowdy and just... I...

Thank you for guesting, Hillary Clinton. Great to be with you. What's up, you slut? Today we're joined by Hillary Rodham Clinton, sluts. That is fucking hilarious. Did you see them with Megan Thee Stallion, by the way? No. It's just like, it's

Chelsea and Hillary painting with Megan Thee Stallion, by the way? No. Who was with them? It's Chelsea and Hillary painting with Megan Thee Stallion. It's like, Jesus fucking Christ. I think I need... My main thing is, as always, a lot of sex. Well, I was going to say that it's just a matter of time. I watch TV more than I jerk off. But it is like an everyday thing, you know? TV more than I jerk off. But it is an everyday thing. I can

watch TV without it. I don't prefer it. I'm team Sub-Nos getting a sweatshirt. But I can watch it. I really rather prefer it. I watch porn in 30 seconds.

I thought you were on your erotica tip and shit. Like, you don't even need porn anymore. Nah, I like it. I like it. You need porn? I like it. Do I need porn? Nah, I probably don't need porn.

I think you've got a problem, bro. Sounds like you've got a problem. Yeah, yeah. It's one of those things like, do I need alcohol to have fun? No. Do I need a plane to get to California? No. It just makes it a lot easier, doesn't it?

Don't you think you could just be like, go back to your old school days and be like, I'm watching compilations. I'm just watching videos that cut to the chase. I could do a compilation. I could do it. Maybe. Just be like

100 straight minutes of anal. Anal compilation. Done. You know you're just going to see the kids. Yeah, probably. I'd probably go compilation route Done. You know you're just going to see the goods. Yeah, probably. Yeah, I'd probably go compilation route then. You know what we should do? Because I haven't made love to myself in a long time. You know what I mean?

I don't fucking jerk off for fun, ever. You need to treat yourself. No, dude. I don't fucking. You deserve it. I do not masturbate for me. I masturbate for my dick. I just masturbate for my balls.

You need to unload, dude. You guys need to get the poison out. I'm never excited to masturbate. I don't feel that thing where people feel despicable afterwards. I don't feel that. I don't feel that shame. You should. You're disgusting.

You're gross. Maybe I just feel it all the time. God, I can't imagine how gross it must be to watch me masturbate. Just thinking about me like, all right, let's say I'm like starfish on a bed, you know, and I just like and then I'm just there. I got like cum on my hands and I'm just laying there. Imagine somebody watching that.

Wiping on my bed sheets. Yeah. Just wiping it off like this. Are you kidnapped? I don't even know. You have a chain around your ankle? Nope, just don't feel like getting up because I just came. Hey, KFC crew. A quick hypothetical for you. Would you rather have to fight a silverback gorilla once a week,

but you're guaranteed to survive, you've got to fight one once a week for the rest of your life. Or would you rather have every time you think about something or have a thought, it happens? Oh, my God. Like, you know, you're walking down the street, a kid walks by you, raps on the thought off. Because you cannot have the thought thing, but, like, imagine just getting beat to, like, not to death,

but just to, likeimed and mauled every single time every week no I mean dude I just read chaos in this in this office

just by thinking just by thinking but every week you're gonna get beat up by a fucking like I'll tell you what's happening right now in case anyone wants to know

these are flying around on their own and bashing all of you in the head imagine they're like hey what's up John what's going on else know, these are flying around on their own and bashing all of you in the head. Imagine they're like, hey, what's up, John? What's going on? Yeah, because it's not even just that they know your thoughts.

It's that they thought to come alive. I'm not in control of them. That thing just went right through my head. The NBA jam poser. Now it's sitting over my shoulders like a cartoon. I just thought about Nick Hamilton naked. When his clothes just pop off. All of a sudden, Hammy's just naked there.

This is chaos. We can't live like this. It'd also be like, alright, it's Monday 9am. Here's your silverback, John. And he just pummels you. Your face is broken and it's next week and it just gets pummeled again. I agree, but it's a week and just gets pummeled again. Bro, it wouldn't matter. I agree, but it's a good one.

Hey, guess what? These questions don't really work for people such as myself. Let me tell you about suicidal ideation. Old Johnny boy wouldn't last to walk home. That's a big jar. I'm guaranteed to survive that silverback gorilla.

When I envision myself jumping in front of the bus on the walk home, I'm not guaranteed to survive that. Couldn't I do... No, I was going to try to find a loophole of like... No. But what if I just started thinking about silverback gorillas beating you up, you know? That is... You're right.

Maybe a happy person, a person who's unaffected could go... No, that would be even worse. Because you'd be like, oh, I thought that so-and-so was happy and everything was all good. Nope. Turns out that they're always thinking about whatever the nice people are thinking about.

If you're thinking about suicide, that checks out. But if all of a sudden someone who people respect is thinking about weird shit, then you're in trouble. I think the weirder thoughts behind closed doors, they're weirder for the people who are frontward facing, nice.

They're pretty open. I think I'd rather see your thoughts. You can argue they're too open. Than a happy person's thoughts. Really? Mm-hmm. It's like the people who are like. Right now, you just have your thumb in your ass.

I don't know why. You want more of that, bro? Give me the gorilla, dude. I'll do the gorilla for me just to stop your thoughts from fucking happening. Imagine that. We just had to say, well, Nick Hamilton's eating his phone right now. What is wrong with you? Two paps, two paps.

Nothing. Nothing happened. I actually, because I just laughed the first time you said it because I didn't have anything. nothing nothing happened I actually because I just laughed the first time you said it because I didn't have anything and I was like okay now I'll try

nothing still wow Jackie I was immune to it Jackie hangs herself with that robe wow I don't know

I just picture I just picture her dressed as a witch for some reason just the weirdest shit Will pop in your brain Yeah it is great If we had to go around

It's not even like We don't have to say How loud It just happens Yeah that's what God damn it That's also when Caps is crawling out

Of this The big Bean right there It's just I want everybody To clip this And like next time Your girlfriend is like,

what are you thinking about? And you say nothing, and she's like, you have to be thinking about something. Yes, I'm thinking about something, but I'm thinking about that fucking piggy jar coming to life, and John fucking is making out with it.

I don't know why. He's making out with a fucking pig. That's what's happening, girls. Sometimes nothing is the better fucking answer. Kevin just stuck his head through the ring light and went, help is on the way! I love this.

Is my finger still on my ass while I do it? With your painted toenails on. Help is still on the way! Help is on the way! What a dumbass all you are. What's up KFC? Just a quick question. If you're ever stuck in an elevator, What a dumbass all you are. What's up, KFC? Bites, Jackie.

Just a quick question. If you're ever stuck in an elevator with a comedy greater legend, such as Larry David or Jerry Seinfeld, what are you going to say to make them laugh? And, again, you're just an average Joe, and you run into these people people and you just happen to get stuck on an elevator with them let me know what you guys think Viva those little last two people by the way I would ever like pitch or say yeah there is a reap I was like you see Jerry get fucking fits with off for him I'm not much of a gift guy but fucking Jerry was but doesn't

that feel like I mean I know he's always worn, like, sneakers, but, like, you think he, like, designed those or picked those? No, fucking no. No, he's not. I don't think anyone's argued that. Because I don't think he dresses like that. Yo, that's not fit, dude. But don't you think Jerry's, like, just posing, like being a poser?

Yeah, you know, he's a model is what he is. Yeah, that's what I mean, though. It's not the Jerry, like, collection. No, no, he's just a model for Kith. But I don't think they're posing it like that. I think it, though. It's not the Jerry, like, collection. No, no. He's just a model for Kith. But I don't think they're posing it like that. I think it's, like, the Seinfeld, like, collection. No, Kith always had celebrity models. Oh, yeah?

Yeah. So, like, all of the fact that it's, like, New York and all that shit has nothing to do with him? No, no. Kith does that, like, every drop. He has, like, celebrities wearing that stuff. But the, yeah, he, like, there's only – I think there's one miss. I think the varsity jacket doesn't look too great.

But everything aside from that, like Jerry's getting a fit off. Yeah. But also, yeah, that one doesn't do it for me. All Kith stuff is a little too Kith-y too. That looks ridiculous. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That one's not great. That looks like the live golfers At their club

Yes oh my god Let me wear my This is my going out shirt These are my golf khakis And my going out khakis That fucking Whole video That's at the back

Big time Was so fucking embarrassing They went from like The bad boy renegades To like Oh you forget That you guys are Soldiers of golf

Yeah that's right You're a bunch of Fucking losers And to try to To try to put like that That lipstick on a pig Is like They just shouldn't have done that. They should have done a party, but they shouldn't have been like, let's get these guys on stage

with the champagne. It should have just been what golfers do. They should have been sitting down with beautiful girls, fucking drinking, and that's it. Normal shit. They looked like dorks. I'm not saying anything to them. I'm saying so silent. I don't know if I'd say it.

We got to start that shit in the piss corner. Right there. Everybody go to the bathroom there. How long are we going to be in here? Jerry, just so you know, in my head, Larry David's licking the buttons. That's probably what I'm asking. Would you rather a silverback gorilla or just start rattling off ATI

questions until they fucking murder themselves? Alright, time for our interview. It's with the Predator. By the way, they are like, you can't have something. With those two, you can't have something. With any funny person, you can't have something pre-planned. It's got to be something that's happening right there in the elevator.

The moment you're like, I got a funny story to tell you, it's like they want to put a bull in their fucking head. One thing you could do is with Larry David, for some reason this is popping in my head, is hum the Wagner song from Curb. Number one, he has the orchestra on the other Jewish guys' front lawn play Wagner. Yes.

And I forget what the Wagner song is. But if you just hum this song, Larry would get it, and he would think that's funny. I would maybe talk about the Jets with him. I can do that. Oh, yeah. He's a big sports guy. Yeah.

I'd be like, you were right on Lamar Jackson. That's what I would talk about. I guess I wouldn't make him laugh, but whatever. Today's interview is the biggest predator in Hollywood. We've got the biggest, largest Predator in Hollywood. It's Dane DeLegro. He's the guy who plays the new Predator in the movie Prey, which is awesome. Dope movie.

Really fucking. I recommend. Hour and a half. It's like a high quality version of Predator in the Native American backdrop. It is fucking dope. And Dane is like an eight footfoot-tall version of Biz. It's weird. It was weird.

The voice, the look, all of it is exactly like Biz Nasty. So shout-out to Chicklets and shout-out to Dane. The interview is brought to you by HelloFresh. He's a big boy, and he's in pretty good shape. I would imagine he eats fresh every day. Probably even rattles those pots and pans and whips up some easy meals, courtesy of HelloFresh,

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rolls around, you actually remember. It's not just for dinners. Like we said, all the meals and you don't have to worry about the grocery store. You don't have to worry

about any deliveries, shitty food getting delivered, all soggy. Hoisin, glazed pork, tenderloin. I'm going to put that one on next week's list.

Did you say hoisin? Hoisin. H-O-I-S-I-N. We'll do balsamic and fig tenderloin. Yeah. Hell yeah. A couple Brussels sprouts and mashed potatoes with that. And then we are going to get, whoa, scrambled egg sandals.

Those are new. Steakhouse style pork chops. I like to do a one pan sweet and spicy cashew pork tacos. This is usually kind of an option. They usually have a one-pan type deal. Those are 15 minutes. Those are your knockout real quick. Those are for the nights you get home pretty tired and you're like,

I'll just rock the one-pan tonight. All of this you can get at HelloFresh.com. When you go to HelloFresh.com slash KFC16. Turkey and bean chili. Ooh, that's so good. Chili verde. KFC 16. Turkey and bean chili. Ooh. That's so good. Chili verde. With a little,

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That's HelloFresh.com slash KFC 16. Shepherd's pie, dude..com slash KFC16. Shepherd's Pie. Promo code KFC16. And start your meal cooking today. It's Dane DeLegro on KFC Radio. DeLegro. All right.

You never know how Italian you get with it, you know? There's Italian Jews, man. Not a lot of us. I'm sure DeLegro would love for a seven-foot tall guy. My high school coach used to say he's tall because DeLegro. There's a lot. There's a lot of us. He's a light girl, but well, for a seven foot tall guy. My high school coach used to say, he's tall because he's delicate. There's a lot. There's a lot of jokes there. How long have you been fucking huge?

Are we going? Yeah, we just go, baby. This is it? Yeah, we just rock. Jesus Christ. I've been huge forever, man. I don't know. Kindergarten, I had like a six pack.

I'll tell you this. I used to fucking, I know your type already I used to cry to my mom because the skinny kids like elementary school and muscle had six bags yeah and I was a chubby little fuck and my mom would be like it's cuz they're my parents don't feed them they don't know they're malnourished yeah you're not supposed to have a fucking six pack when you're you're in kindergarten, you freak. Yeah, I'm an anomaly. How do I do this thing? Okay, there we go. Your height is so – I actually watched Prey last night too,

so I really have a grasp on your height. Okay. Your height is so high. I was thinking this morning, I was like, I wonder when Dean comes in if I put Kevin on my shoulders if we're taller than him. Let's do it. I mean, how high are these shoes?

I mean, we're going to be taller. We're going to be way taller. We're going to be like two feet taller. I'll be at the bar and people will come up to me and they'll be like, how tall are you? And I'm like, 7'9". They're like, holy fuck. No concept. You're at a point where you could throw in any number, I think. I think after like 6'8", 6'7", especially there's a drunk factor here,

but you can really get people just – they lose their concepts. Wait, so wait. How tall are you? I'm like 6'8 1⁄2". I'm like right on the edge of 6'9". Give yourself a 6'9". Come on. Yeah, but I always say –

Again, nobody cares. Even numbers like 6'6", 6'8", 6'10", 7 feet, it's sturdier. You go odd, 6'5", 6'7", 6'9". It's odd. It's a little like you're not as stable. He's tall and lanky, 6'11". Oh, he's 7 feet. Wow, that's a fucking house.

7 feet, 6'10". Wow, that's a horse. 6'11", oh, I'd knock him right over. I'd cut that motherfucker in half. Let's go for the ACL. It gives me a biz vibe. Very much. I get that all the time.

I get that. I get Vince Vaughn. Where are you from? I'm from Lexington, Massachusetts. Huh. Because it almost, like, he sounds like biz, and biz is a Canadian guy, right? Yeah. I've heard that at least a dozen times.

Yeah. I mean, it's a good comparison. I get guy from you the guy from you yeah you don't want that one no no no no i think he's gotten so creepy that he's like a creep now dude my favorite penn badgley story i've ever heard is i had a buddy who was sitting next to him at uh the premiere, they were just at Horrible Bosses and there's a scene in Horrible Bosses where... Penn was just like in the crowd? Yeah, in the audience. And there's a

scene where Jennifer Anderson was just fingering herself. Somehow she just fingered herself to Penn Badgley and he got up and walked out. No way! That's awesome. I would love that. I like to think that it's his 10th time seeing the movie.

He just goes for that line. We're done here. See you boys tomorrow, 7 o'clock show? All right. So Predator, Prey is, I mean, there are certain movies that, you know, are iconic and have, like, iconic characters, or in this case, like, monsters. But they also kind of fall under the, like, you know, it's a silly action movie or horror movie or whatever. Prey is, like, it's got it all, man. I mean, it's like a real-ass movie.

Yeah, and literally. It's a very cool combination. And to be a part of that. I think it's always very cool to be a part of an iconic franchise like that. It's you and a couple other dudes who have played the Predator. Predator is that guy. What's interesting and what makes this film, for me, so special is that historically you look at the other Predator films and they are Predator films. Yeah.

Let's focus on the Predator. This is like a period piece adventure story with some sci-fi horror sprinkled on, right? So like it's shot very cinematically. They're really, it's like the score is amazing. There's all these elements. There just happens to be a Predator in this film. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And you're following. Yeah, it feels like you're watching almost like the Revenant or something. It's all these elements. There just happens to be a predator in this film. Yeah, it feels like you're watching almost like The Revenant or something. It's all outdoors. I think the comparisons I've heard the most and I think are probably the most accurate are Logan. Where like, Logan's a Wolverine movie, an X-Men movie, but it's really about like kind of

the young girl and the adventure of her, which is kind of really a life movie. There's nothing gratuitous. We're not asking you to be scared. We're not asking you to laugh. Oh, I disagree. There's a gratuitous scene. Oh, go on. It's a life movie. There's nothing gratuitous. We're not asking you to be scared. We're not asking you to laugh. Oh, I disagree. There's a gratuitous scene. Oh, go on. It's with the wolf.

The wolf was too much for me. Really? When you disembowel the guy. That was an extra scene. We shot that additional photography in February. We wrapped around this time last year. We shot three months in Calgary. And then that was actually a scene we added in.

We shot that in February because our special effects, Alec Gillis, who built the suit, who's worked on other Predator movies, told the director, you know, we need a de-spining. There's no one, nothing has been de-spined. Is that like a Predator checklist?

Yeah, that's a thing. Okay, so we kind of, they worked in this wolf scene, but it ties into the predator story of him kind of working his way up the food chain. Yes, yeah, yeah. And, you know, the ant and then the rat and then the snake. Then the wolf is just next. It's all about the hunt for him. I also don't actually mean it's gratuitous.

I just meant when I watched it, I was like, Jesus fuck! I was like, oh, we're despising a dog here? I don't know. Okay, alright. The Predator is a bitch ass, man. I disagree strongly. This is how I'm here. He's such a fucking...

This is how it started for you. You know, yeah, you're bringing a fucking, you're bringing a tri bow and arrow fucking bolt gun what's it called a bolt the bolt gun uh with like remote detonating bombs and a fucking giant claw to a knife fight it's like of course you're gonna beat all these fucking things well yeah i was actually gonna say my my big qualm my um kind of like, you know, you're being a bit of a bitch ass, is the constant invisibility. Yeah.

You shouldn't need none of these things. The end, she kind of steals that thing. So I was like, oh, can't we break that up? Well, that's always the downfall of Predator is you either cover yourself in mud or snow or something and then he can't use the heat vision. And the Predator always gets something flipped on him. So he's a dumb fucking idiot too. We're operating under two umbrellas right now. Number one, it's a movie.

Two hour movie or whatever it is. I don't know. Number one. Number two, we're also operating under the idea that at any point in time, the predator could fucking kill everyone if he wanted to at the snap of his fingers. He has a code he has to follow so like um when when amber's character now he's on the ground when the chain catches up yes yeah yeah yeah i could roll the credits right there yeah i i actually was but at like in the last moments where you're about to get fucking killed would have been a nice time to flip the switch and you you can't flip it then. Well, yeah, because he's –

Because you're a bitch-ass. No, no, no. He's imperfect. There's a little bit of hubris going on there. This predator has a backstory. Maybe he's a little unrefined. Maybe – I don't know. But she gets the best of him.

She outfoxes him. And I'll tell you what's another thing about just the predator, I guess, species, if you will. This takes place in, what, 17-something? 1719. 1719. So, like, what, 200-whatever years later when Arnold's fighting the predator, he hasn't evolved at all.

Predator's got the same old fucking bag of tricks and same old things in a couple hundred years. Different. I like to say all the other predators in the other movies, like, they live in condos in New York City. This guy's from, like, the outback in Australia.ia so they this is like top dog more rustic he's more animalistic he's uh the word we used was feral yeah um he you know this guy is like he's hunting

people you know he's like um but so but yeah but also naru has the advantage because she's comanche she this is her hood yeah She's very familiar with it. Dutch, Schwarzenegger's character, he's just a military guy. He doesn't know the jungle. It takes him so long to figure out the jungle whereas Naru

is already, she knows everything. I'm in her backyard so she has the upper hand. I wonder if when the Predator's about to fucking die if he's like,

I should have killed her while she was chained up. He's just got a moment of like, or if there is some honor amongst the user where he's like, alright, you got the best of like or if there is some honor amongst these where he's like alright you know

you got the best of me I like to think that yeah he's like click click click click click and he means like I think in my

last thought I'd like to be like that was pretty slick yeah yeah yeah yeah good job man is there a Predator movie where the Predator wins

I don't know yeah well you know what's gotta be fucking wild is when she goes back to her tribe with the – I mean, spoiler alert, you know the fucking predator's going to die, but whatever.

That's how it all happens with the fucking predator head. What's funny is like, well, that's not a lion. Throughout the whole movie, the tribe, they never saw the predator. They didn't even know this thing. Right, so they don't know what's going on. Imagine like, oh, yeah, she's going out to hunt a cat. She comes back with this fucking thing. The Medusa-looking head.

Like, what is this? Yeah. I remember, by the way. But they don't even know. He's like, I dragged the body back. I was like, you only brought the head? I'd bring the fucking thing. Medusa looking head. Like, what is this? I remember, by the way. But they don't even know. He's like, I dragged the body back. I was like, you only brought the head? I'd bring the whole thing. The whole fucking thing, man.

Because I want you to see how big this was. Right, because everyone had to see it was dead. So you've got to explain to everybody. What an undertaking. Pulling me out of the mud. Yeah, yeah. I'd do it. I'd 100% do that.

I'd at least cut your feet off so you can be like, now that you see a puppy's paws, like, ooh, he's going to get big. Like, look how fucking big this thing was. I want my credit, motherfucker. You wrestled a bear. Yeah, that was awesome. That's an awesome scene. Punch the bear in the face.

How much, I remember when I was a kid, there was a Halloween, what do you call it, Halloween something. It was a big Halloween costume store. It was in the mall. It was a year-round thing. They had, like, the best. Yes. Oh.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I thought there's no way you're thinking of Spirit. How could you not know Spirit? What else would it be, guys? I don't know. This hamburger store, they sell a lot. Over a billion. It's got the M.

But in the front window was a... Was a full-blown um just tearing up from how that performance you gave me um there was a full-blown predator costume and i think it was like a thousand bucks which at the time you know to me is like a million dollars and i was like one day if i get rich i'm gonna buy a full predator costume hey but it was like head to toe the full thing i was, maybe I should buy one. My buddy did, not with Predator, but did it with a Jack Sparrow,

a $1,000 Jack Sparrow costume. No way. That's a little late. In college. And he was like, boys, look at this fucking thing. Like, that's sick. He's like, yeah, $1,000, best investment ever. I'm going to wear it every Halloween from now on.

And he's never worn it again. This is the same friend who just joined. He went to Ireland on vacation and joined a golf club. Right, right. Lives in America, went to Ireland, joined a country golf club there. I guess if you have the money, right? But no, but no, but no. Not really?

He just likes to drink and is easily sold. Bless his heart. I feel like showing up as Jack Sparrow is one thing, though. If I show up like, yo, boys, and you're just in a full rubber fucking Predator outfit, it's like, what are you doing, dude? Yeah, but it's like when Ben in Parks and Rec buys it. He buys not Predator, but he buys Batman. Do you think, we've now mentioned Jack Sparrow, Predator, and Batman.

Do you think that, what are your top five iconic characters? Humans, non-humans. Oh, wow. Like for me to. We'll bring back top five for once. For me to portray, like for me to act as, or just in general in movies. Well, you're in a rare air where it's like if you have any sort of skills and you're this height. You know what I mean?

It takes a little bit of time. It's funny. When we wrapped, Dan, our director, gave these leather-bound scripts to some of the people who worked on the movie. And mine was like, oh, wow, Dan, thank you. This is amazing. And I opened it up. He wrote a nice little note for me. It said,, Dan, thank you. This is amazing. And I opened it up. He wrote a nice little note for me. It said, dear Dan, thank you for being tall.

Wow. Literally the one thing I have no control over. Yeah, it's interesting with my height and obviously my professional basketball background come into play with some of these characters and when i when i retired from basketball three years ago and decided to start acting i kind of figured playing monsters doing the creature creature actor thing would kind of be like my back door into acting like face acting as a human uh just trying to be a human i can be a dentist or ice cream you know whatever um but the thing is this this monster thing is taking off now yeah and like now i'm the predator and it's like and i guess i'm kind of good at it maybe you know whatever but i i actually will there's a viral video that said

the tweet viral tweet so something along the lines of like uh practical effects forever and i i don't really you know i'm not too in the cinematography world so i didn't really know i was like all right i'll look at this see what it's like and it's you doing a practical effect and it's like five million views and i was like oh shit i get that where it's not like the effects of the movie it's like your body language and like your breathing and shit like that where i was like oh i can good cg is is bad in 10 years good practical is good forever. Yeah, yeah. But yeah, it was crazy.

Those videos, man, my TikTok, I had like three weeks ago, I had like maybe 5,000 followers, maybe like a couple thousand views. I could have posted a video of me clipping my nails on TikTok. I had 10 million views. Really? Blew up. I just hit like a million likes on my TikTok. I had 10 million views. Really? Blew up. I just hit a million likes on my TikTok.

Crazy. And I wasn't doing, I'm not a content creator, but I was putting up some BTS stuff and some cool Predator shit. Well, because now you're tapped into that,

the Comic-Con world and the Predator, like you get into that cult classic shit and it's like, ooh, buddy. Crazy. And like you walk around

and it's funny, like I'll forget, you know? I'll be like in an elevator, crowded elevator, and I'm standing there in'll forget you know I'll be like in an elevator crowded elevator And I'm standing there in the back like grocery shopping People in like

The worst pickup line of all time. I'm a predator. This is 100% true. I'll be at a bar and I'll be at a loud consumer-ridden environment and one of my buddies will be like, the fucking predator!

And I'm like, yo, you fucking chill, man. Because there's rings of people that are like, the inner ring they hear you and they're like, oh, this guy's, man. Because there's like rings of people. Is that pinball too that tall? The inner ring, they hear you. And they're like, oh, this guy's a pro. But that second ring of people are like, what, Predator? Like, what?

There's a fucking Predator in this bar? That big dude. Wait, they're letting sexual Predators in here? Then all of a sudden, security's coming. It's like, it's the Predator. I'm the only one, the best one. You don't understand. I'm the best one in the galaxy. I was at a wedding this weekend. and my buddy was super excited about it.

My buddy Todd. He actually just became the head coach of Florida basketball. Oh, wow. I played with him in Israel in 2009. And he's walking around. He's like, no lead in. Hey, this is Dane. He's the Predator.

People are like, wait, what? No, I'm an actor actor and I portray the Predator in the most recent Predator film well it is to the people who don't know it does take a little bit

of explaining but if you're into it and you know it it's like the fucking Predator but there's like that residual people hear the word Predator

their mind typically doesn't go I bet you maybe there was a time in the 80s before the 90s yeah before everyone got outed as a fuckinged yeah but now that's a tough

one I'm like I'm Hollywood's biggest predator and that's not really scary stuff are you like trained in like any I don't know jiu-jitsu or stunts or shit like that cuz I that's you doing know, jiu-jitsu or stunts or shit like that? Because that's you doing all the fighting and shit, right? Yeah, I did all the acting, all the stunts, all the mo-cap. I trained for two months in parkour. There actually was a tree chase scene that we were supposed to shoot. I can't imagine your big ass doing parkour.

Oh, no, it was insane. Really insane. Keep in mind, I don't know if you read any of this, but I shot that movie blind. I couldn't see anything. Because of the mask? Well, the Predator head sat on top of my head, and it weighed about 14 pounds because there were 30 servos inside this head that control the face. We had four puppeteers puppeteering the face.

Crazy. And it was 15 pounds. So my head's in the neck. For the Predator to look forward, I had to look through two tiny holes in the neck at the ground. And I had the first AD in my ear kind of cuing me on things. And we would have to take branches from trees and lay them on the ground for me to follow.

So every scene I shot, even my fight scenes, I couldn't see in front of me. I could only look at my feet. So when I'm fighting Dakota... Dude, that's impressive. That's fucking wild. So when I trained parkour i'd wear a baseball hat and i would put pull the hat down or like even rehearsal i would rehearse just get used to it so thank goodness they cut that tree chasing but yeah i i trained parkour i did

uh martial arts i trained like collie sticks and uh like weapon handling and all that it was collie sticks are like two sticks and you like hit stuff yeah but like you when you train you like it you can make it so that it like looks good yeah i'm very novice at it um but that is you know i i obviously like you said you want to get into you know out from monsters and into other roles but it's one of those things where it's like you know even the top actors probably can't do that shit you know i went to mime school just to learn non-verbal communication and like you know, even the top actors probably can't do that shit. I went to mime school to learn nonverbal communication. And, like, you know, you think mime. There are so many different types of mime.

But, like, I'm telling a story. I don't have the luxury of words. So I have to tell you guys a story with my posture, with how I'm moving. What are my hands doing? No, but it works. Because, like, in that scene where you're talking about where you don't kill the girl, you could tell you weren't going to. Right. You were in a calm.

The wolf scene, how I mimicked the wolf. I got down in all fours. But it's hard, man. You're wearing this 75-pound foam latex suit. You have a 15-pound head on. You can't see in front of you. This was filmed in winter or summer? Oh, summer.

Right now. So the burnt glade scene where I kill all those trappers, the French fur trappers, it was like 97 degrees out that day. And foam latex? I think I'd have handed my equipment. Foam latex is a sponge.

Go find another six foot dang guy. It's crazy because foam latex, the suit starts out at whatever, 65, 70 pounds at the beginning of the day. But foam latex is a sponge. What happens when you sweat? It just absorbs it. It just gets heavier and heavier and heavier. And you can see some of the day. But foam latex is a sponge. What happens when you sweat? It just absorbs it. So it gets heavier and heavier and heavier.

And you can see some of the production stills. I'll be swinging at Dakota's character in a fight scene and just beads of sweat shooting out of my suit. But no, I have to think about what everything's doing. I have to remember to keep my neck short. I have to remember what are my hands doing? Because if you're not thinking about your hands, you're just like this. They really liked the breathing of the predator.

So I have to consciously think about breathing while consciously thinking about my hands and consciously keeping my neck down and my neck short and my head down. On top of that, I have to act and remember what the fuck I have to do. On top of that, I can't see anything. So there's like a lot of pulling the levers and making sure everything is in line so that the final product is this predator. So, yeah, that was pretty insane. Between hearing all that, very impressive.

I was honestly impressed with the performance anyway. Hearing that you couldn't fucking see is insanity. The bear fight is obviously like a CGI thing, but are you fighting, like, you know, sometimes people wear, like, the sensors or whatever? Are you doing it with people? We had, we kind of shot that twice. We had a reference bear, like an actual bear.

Oh, really? Yeah, we took one of the special effects guys who was 6'8 and stuck him in this bear suit. Oh, okay. And it looks so ridiculous. If you look on my Instagram, at DD, you can see there's a picture of me with the reference bear. And it's just this fucking giant bear.

And then I'm in a gray pajamas, like motion capture suit. And you just like wrestle in the gym. Yeah, and then the other half of that, we went to a free running academy for a day. And I did all the movements of the predator, like jumping from tree to tree, walking, slashing, like jumping off ledges and like slashing into things. And then they gave me this pad and I had to wrestle with the pad and throw it

down and then punch the pad and then lift it up above my head and pretend it's really heavy. Mind school. And then you slam it down and then, you know. That was cool. That's a great scene. I thought, I mean, I knew obviously you're not going to die, but there was, I think in the beginning of that fight, he kind of gets the better of you.

Right. Fucking grizzly bear. Yeah. And look at it. It's all like scarred up and gnarly and stuff. It's like, uh, yeah,

that was, that was, uh, pretty intense. Um, but yeah, everyone loved the bear fight. It was very cool.

The bear fight was, when you're just like dripping or drinking its blood. Yeah. Yeah. Fuck. That's the reveal. I mean, that's the first reveal,

true reveal of the predators. Like, and that was Dan's idea. It was amazing. It was like, that's the first reveal, true reveal of the Predators. And that was Dan's idea. It was amazing. I was like, oh, the blood is just going to go down the invisible Predators. Perfect. Very cool. Yeah. I would imagine most guys your size are pretty goofy.

Are they? I don't know. Not all the shit you're describing. Like, the top, top percent are not goofy. They're, you know, you got guys like Shaquille O'Neal. Well, it's funny. I watched Gravy in here, and you guys were talkingquille O'Neal who's like, you know. Well, it's funny. I watched Gravy in here and you guys were talking about being

however tall he is and like playing basketball. And it's the people who are disgruntled about being asked, do you play basketball? The people who don't play basketball. Basketball, yeah. Oh no, definitely that. And I feel bad. I really, I genuinely feel bad for those people

because that is the first question. Like people just, it's their first, like they think they're the first person telling people just it's their first like they think they're the first person telling you or asking you like do you play that oh my god you're so tall like do you play basketball like i used to like oh what do you know i'm an actor like it's just so cliched you know but um you know and my brother is taller than me he's like 6 10 he's skinnier fuck i'll tell your parents your parents the predator and a bear? No, my mom worked for the Celtics in the 80s.

She actually did. She actually did. She worked in the front office. But I look just like my dad. I look just like my dad. So there's no way. So I don't even start, even though I started it first. This guy looks a lot like Kevin McHale. Yeah, I hate to say it, kevin mckay is not my dad

no no no my mom my mom did she was on the floor uh in 1986 she was pregnant with my or 84 she's pregnant with my brother and they had to like get her off the floor is she normal size or she's 5 11 she's not a tall woman and my dad's 63 he's not an avatar um but uh Sorry, Camille threw me off there. No, it's just you two? My sister is 5'9". She's the shortest. Normal human and two for you. Yes, I'm the youngest. I'm the baby. So what does he do?

My brother, he lives in Berlin. Oh, God, Ross, I'm sorry. He has a master's degree in engineering management. So where I excelled athletically – So you have no brain. No, no, no. He's smart.

First of all, I'm very smart and intelligent. But if you put us together, we'd be a super human. Yeah, you said there are a lot of smart and intelligent people. I'm really smart and intelligent, I swear. No, but I mean he's like very computer smart. He does coding. He does like front-end like web design and all of the engineering. Sorry, you're not an engineer either.

Yeah, I'm an idiot. I think that is the coolest. I think it's funny when you go into work and you're coding and, you know, typically a lot of doors fit and then he's 6'10". He walked on at Syracuse. He got there the year after they won with Mello. He's four years older than me. I think that is very cool, not being able to sell what your brother does

because I always say that with my like best friends I'm like I have no idea what they do I think like yeah we don't talk about work I don't fucking know like we have regular conversations

like regular people I also think you have a pretty like interesting or at least a little more complex job you know what I mean yeah

if you just have like a bum ass job it's like I don't know you're a janitor I can't even explain what you do he used to live in Bushwick he worked in the city

he was doing like he was certifying buildings to be like lead certified for like he's always doing different shit and I can't

it's like oh he's a professional basketball player oh he's an actor now oh he's working at this butcher shop in Chianti it's pretty straightforward

what I'm doing for him oh I'm at some startup with this tech I don't know what the fuck you're talking about let's pause and go back to that very specific reference what I'm doing. Yeah. For him, oh, I'm at some startup with this tech. I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. Let's pause and go back

to that very specific reference of you working at a butcher shop. Italian butcher? No. When I was playing for Sienna in Italy, I played in Italy for seven years professionally,

and Israel for a year. There's a really famous butcher shop in Chianti in Tuscany called Antica Machilleria Cecchini, and it's run by this eighth-generation butcher, Dario Cecchini. The butcher shop's like 250 years old. I was going to say, that sounds old. It's the wrong time.

Eighth generation. And me and my brother went there to visit one day, and this guy saw me, and he was just like, doesn't speak english but he called me he's like let me see your hands and i so i showed him my hands and you like i have big fucking banana hands you know and he's like these are butcher hands when your basketball player's like yeah when your season's done you come stay in my house and i'll teach you how to debone cows for free and at nighttime you just work in my steakhouse as payment and yeah sure so my season ended and i went to chianti and lived in this hilltop village with this guy and every morning at seven we wake up and we go down to

the commercial butcher shop and they would teach me how to debone cows um antique tuscan style and i was like an apprentice i still am an apprentice for him. He's very, very close. I'm very close with Darby. Bro! Learn a craft, man. Learn a craft. How much did they pay you over there? Zero. They paid me in information. I'm in the Italian basketball league. That was solid money.

I've heard they don't take summer jobs for summer internships. Yeah, no. He said, come debone, and then you can work in my steakhouse as the reward. Right, like, as no... He'll teach me how to debone cows, and as

my payment to him for information. You can't do the work, but... No, but it's incredible. You can't... People pay for that. What do you... I can't even imagine where you start deboning cows, so I guess... On the shins. No way, really? Yeah, you start with for that. What do you – I can't even imagine where you start deboning a cow. So I guess – On the shins.

But it's – no way. Really? Yeah, you start with the shin. That's not what I would have guessed. I was definitely picturing some spine stuff. The shin you can – Go on the ass or something. You can fuck up.

Pull everything out from the back. I don't know. Because you start with the least expensive cut, learning. Oh, learning, learning, learning. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then – because you can fuck up a shin. It doesn't matter. It's so tough.

You can boil it. You're not grilling. You're not, like, reverse searing a shin. It's not like a fine cut of meat. Bro, so you're like a predator predator. I was going to say, so you rip out the spine. Anyone who just willingly, like, he's like, yeah, oh, debone huge animals? Yeah. You've ripped the spine out of a wolf and of a cow.

Yeah. And I will say, I never dispatched any animals. I never killed anything. They would show up as cow sides from Dario's farm, and then we would just remove the bones. How many hours a day would you spend doing that? That was like four hours in the morning. Then you go back and rest, and then you either work lunch or dinner or both. And it's all in the off season?

Yeah, yeah, just time off. I wanted to learn. My brother was like, you should work for a lunch or dinner or both. And this is all in the off season? Yeah, yeah, just time off. I wanted to learn. My brother was like, you should work for a cobbler or something. Learn how to make Italian shoes. And then I was like trying to figure – I wanted to learn a craft. And then butchery came in. And I was like, why not? This guy is the most famous butcher.

I love the, like, these are butchery hands. I think – yeah, how often do you get, like, harassed? Every day. Let me touch your body. Every day. Every time I go to a bar, my ass is you get harassed? Every day. Let me touch your body. Every day. Every time I go to a bar, my ass is always getting pinched. My ass is up there. I've seen that before.

I've got a friend who's not a freak like you, but he's 6'5". And he's in good shape. So chicks do just like, or did now when we're older than Chip, but when we were younger, they would just like touch him and kind of rub him and of course for a period of time he was very cool with that but also sometimes i think he'd be like can't like stop but it's okay because like i'm big and i'm a dude yeah oh yeah you're fine versus fucking nuts he always said it was uh he always called it like the the goldfish effect or like the fishbowl effect because it would just be girls being like you're tall yeah it was like a goldfish at the fuck you fishbowl effect because it would just be girls being like you're

tall yeah it was like a goldfish at the fuck you know yeah happen on the glass exactly and he would just be like you know let's go home well yeah i won't uh so yeah we have blushing day i think disney's on this call i don't know how deep I can go into that. So you play ball overseas, and it's good money? It's great money. It's tax-free also. They pay your agent fee. They pay the taxes.

Fuck. Yeah, you're just like, they give you a house. They give you a car. You just have to pay for food. Did you go right after college? You went over there? Yep. I went straight to Italy in 2011, and I played in six different cities,

all over South, in Puglia, in Sardinia. Were you coming home in the summers? Yeah, off-season I came home. I'd live with my parents. Yeah. Spend no money. I'm still in the room I grew up in with my T-ball, you know, my Lexington youth T-ball. Legs hanging off the bed.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Twin bed, twin extra long. You know, you sneak girls into the basement. But no, no. And then, yeah, I did that for eight years. And it's great because I was putting off a real job for as long as possible. Peter Pan, man. Yeah.

Never land. And I was always in search of that next job where i could stay in shape i had to stay in shape for it the projects were were different you know whether year to year or season to season and it's good money you know like and then acting came upon me and i was like oh this is great and I don't have to wake up sore every morning. And I can do this because basketball, any professional athlete, unless you're playing like table tennis or billiards, it ends for you at some point.

It's finite. One day you hang up your jersey and you walk off into the lights and then it's all over and then you become a normal human. Which is a weird and hard thing to do for a lot of people. It's hard. Especially if you have – how long did you play? I played professionally for eight years. Yeah, that's a chunk of your life. You're very used to it.

But then also you're still so young once you're older. Yeah, it's a very weird dynamic. Basketball was this girl that I dated for 27 years. I gave her everything. My heart. We traveled the world. Blood, sweat, and tears. So many good memories.

So many bad memories. so many bad memories, so many ups, so many downs, but we were never getting married. And I knew that. And it's a tough thing to come to terms with because in order to be at that level, not that I was an all-star in the NBA, but in order to play professionally, you really have to put that commitment in

and the time and effort and knowing that it ends at a young age for you so it's it's a strange thing to kind of come to terms with and so people act like you are you know a hundred it's like yeah oh this guy this guy's 32 yeah put a bullet in him he's dead yeah father time always wins and he's about to come down right now so i got lucky with this, you know, acting situation. And, uh, so that's, you say lucky, like I just, you know,

you know, miracles and, uh, opportunities really. It's just like it. I was, um, I was at home in Boston training for the next season.

And I got a phone call from Boston casting to be a stand in on the movie free guy with Ryan Reynolds. And, uh, what the hell is a stand in? So I, I went down there, they didn't even use me.

And the stunt coordinator came over he's like dude you need to be an actor you need to like look into playing monsters in movies and i was like yeah because you're a freak yeah you're the fucking tree you have to do this and well no but like i mean i i remember uh my first thought was um in game of thrones there's like there's the cgi giant but then there's a dude who's the mountain the giant well there's the mountain but there was also a guy who played like a wildling who was like a giant and I was just like

there's probably not much competition out there for that role. That guy was 7'6 actually. Fucking really? Unbelievable. Yeah. His name was Neil Fingleton.

He has since passed. Yeah. He played ball too right? He was Australian? He played at no he was British but he played at Holy Cross. Oh yeah. Yeah. British, but he played at Holy Cross.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I remember he played for BABC, AAU, and I think they went to Europe to play. They had to pull the front seat out of the car, and he sat in the back seat and drove the car from the back seat. It was so tall. Insane. Yeah, that's like, I mean, imagine.

That's fucking nuts. That's insane. That's wild. I don't know if it's his picture, but I've definitely seen a shot of maybe it's George Murasan or one of those guys where he's in the back of like a little coupe. They make me look tiny. Yeah.

I mean, think about that. Like you're, you know, whatever you have to deal with on planes, cars, you know, just the general shit ducking through and add what? A foot? A foot to that. A foot. I'm big. I couldn't.

Yeah. And plus we're like Great Danes. We don't last very long. I'm like a German shepherd in his twilight years. I got hip dysplasia. I'm limping all the time. Gravity kicks your ass. Yeah, gravity is undefeated.

I'm pretty proportionate. I'm not like a lanky 69. Actually, you're not as jarring as I thought. If you're looking at me from a distance, you're like, oh, that guy's normal. And then I get closer, you're like, oh, he's pretty fucking big. But I'm not like my brother's long. My brother's long. That Marfan syndrome.

We had a guy who worked for us. His name was Tall One. And he was like, I think he was taller than you. I think he might have been 6'10". I think he was 6'11". I think he was right under. I think he was taller than you. I think he might have been 16. I think he was 6'11". I think he was right under. I think he was 6'10". And he was, at the time, this was when we were back in Milton still,

and it was a really small, cramped office. And watching him walk around, I genuinely pitied him. Because he was always tripping and falling because he was lanky, and he was not coordinated. He was a 24-year-old who was still trying to find his body. Baby giraffe type shit. And I'd be like, dude, just stay sitting. Stay still, man.

Keep knocking shit over yourself. And it's funny. When I first started out, I didn't have a theatrical agent or a manager. And I was trying to find one. And a lot of people were like, oh, you're so big. I don't know if we can rep you because it's gonna be difficult to to find jobs and now this movie came

I'm actually still I actually still don't have a theatrical agent or manager but and I'm in the process of getting set up with that

but like it's interesting how you would think oh you're the predator it's like you're automatically capable of like you're this big time

actor now and like people are like oh he's too fucking tall can't be an actor. But I mean, I do think within that realm, right?

Like you, there should, you know, whether it's more like a comic book movie or alien movie or whatever. Marvel. Yeah. I mean, like there's going to be needs for that.

And then, you know, hopefully you do backdoor it, like you said, but in the meantime, like I don't think you have to rush that. I'd gladly go ahead and be like, I'll be the Predator, and then I'll be the Alien, and then I'll be the

Giant, and then I'll be, you know, whatever. A lot of trophies right there. There's no shame in that game at all, dude. I have no problem being the King of Monsters in Hollywood, but I definitely want to play humans. Andy Serkis was kind of that for a while, right? Andy Serkis was kind of the mo-cap guy, you know, with Planet of the Apes

and Lord of the Rings. But I would say Doug Jones is probably the LeBron of creature acting, if you will. He was the pale man in Pan's Labyrinth. He was also the faun. He was Abe Sapien in Hellboy. He was the asset in Shape of Water. He's been so many things. But, I mean, he's in his 60s now we'll just legend yeah

no no he's like he's he's unbelievable he's like he's not a human he's and he's so good at what he does uh but he's probably the lebron of doing all that stuff so i can't shake the biz thing it's wild is it weird i mean it's not just the look like it is he sounds like him and everything but you said he's canadian do i sound yeah i don't know there's a little well biz doesn't Is it weird? It's not just the look. He sounds like him in everything. But you said he's Canadian. Do I sound Canadian? Yeah, I don't know. Biz doesn't overly sound Canadian either, so I think you guys just have similar voices.

It's like that hockey accent. Yeah, it's more of a hockey accent. Because I went to UNH, and I spent a lot of time with the hockey team. Can you call your dick your wrench? They called it a horn. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No!

That's what I'm talking about. He's an absolute. He's got an absolute horn on him. My God. It's fine. Actually, James Van Riemsdyk lived across the hall from me. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Freshman year.

He picked us all up. But yeah. And then one of my best friends is Canadian, Kelly Olenek, who plays for the Pistons. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So a lot of times I'll – He's got a horn on him. What's people on him? Disney's watching.

But he'll – like a lot of times he'll be like, oh, you're cheesed, eh? And like, oh, you're cheesed, eh? I'm like – I say eh to people now because I talk to Kelly so much. What's your cheese? Cheesed is mad. Oh, I'm so fucking cheesed right now. I love it. It's a fam.

They make up their own little language. It's a whole thing. Yeah, Drake leads the. Absolute horn. Oh, man. Fucking A, man. Absolute rocket. Yeah.

I mean, that is it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All the hockey dudes go, yeah, bud. Yeah. That's it right there it's very funny man so what is uh did we have like anything next that you um uh i got a couple things coming out in the distant future uh i don't know how much i'm allowed to talk about i mean i kind of did talk about them. What about Prey 2?

Because I feel like they left it open. There's a lot. I've been getting a lot. Well, Predator, you know, the door's always open. But Prey. I would hope so. Prey was like the gold standard. Because there have been so many Predators that I haven't seen.

Yeah. But Prey was one. This is different. They really are. They were. It's, you know, Alien versus Predator is like a summer blockbuster. Stupid. You know what you're going to get. It's fine. Those are cool. I mean, it's, you know, Alien versus Predator is like a summer blockbuster. Stupid. You know what you're going to get.

It's fine. Those are cool. Those, I mean, I love those. Yeah. Yeah. But this is, you know. I don't know anything about a sequel. No one's talked to me about anything.

I don't know. Because the last line is like, we need to get to like an easier protected place or something like that. Right. So I don't know if they're going to continue that story. I don't know if they'll do another standalone thing. I'm sure they will do another one in some capacity, whether. In too much of a success. Right. So I don't know if they're going to continue that story. I don't know if they'll do another standalone thing. I'm sure they will do another one in some capacity. In too much of a success.

Right. Are there any Predator movies where you're in space and you see where the Predators live? I would be interested to see that. All the Predators obviously have been Earthbound. And it's also just like he shows up. Even in that one, if they're in space, I feel like the Predator just shows up on the ship. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

To see. And it's always just one dude. I wonder if there's movies with a plan of them. Yeah, I mean, I don't know. I hope they call me. I think 20th Century is happy with the work that we all did in this film. I hope they remember my phone number. If they don't, I get it.

But it's so finicky with all these – it's like Hollywood, man. It's just like they're doing a film and who knows what – who knows? They could have a female predator. They could have a two-headed predator. I have no idea. As long as they don't have a short predator. Soon they try to replace you. Predator. No, I... Soon they try to replace you,

they'll be like, fuck. We had... Our hands are tied. We had to go with a short guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thanks. It's Short King Summer, man.

That is like classic Hollywood. We had Jason Clarke in here, and he was talking about when he got Terminator. He's like, I thought I was done. He's like, I was like, all right, I made it. Like, this is... I was going to break this if i was like and then we just stopped making terminators yeah i mean nothing nothing lasts forever so but between you know professional ball and professional butchery and uh professional predator behavior

yeah new york city watch out yeah Yeah, I don't know. How old are you right now? I just turned 34 two weeks ago. That's a jam-packed 34 years. You could die tomorrow. Really? August 14th. Oh, so maybe it wasn't too – August 6th.

Okay, a month ago. So you're 88. I'm 88, yeah. Oh, dude, yeah. Come on. I love it. Fuck you guys. Wait, where are you from? I'm from Fall River, yeah. Oh, dude, yeah. Come on. I love it. Fuck you guys. Wait, where are you from?

I'm from Fall River, Mass. You go to Durfee? I went to Durfee for one year, yeah. Wow. Oh, my God. Incredible. My head coach was from Durfee High School at Lexington. I've never heard of Durfee.

You've only heard of the Abbey. I went to Durfee my freshman year. Four River, man. There's a lot of Portuguese people. Yeah. I hear that all the time. What's the fucking sausage? Cherise, man. There's a lot of Portuguese people. I hear that all the time. What's the fucking sausage? Cherise, baby.

Cherise. Yeah, I made it down to Four River later. I'm going to meet my buddy Sully. Grab a couple pizzas. Fuck him. Hey, here's a dollar for your whore mother. Your mom's a whore. Fuck you.

Fucking loser. All right, tell the people where to find you. Fucking loser. All right. Tell the people where to find you. Did I hear you say your Instagram is just at DD? Yeah, two Ds. My initials. That's fucking dope. That is.

That feels like you knew Zuckerberg. Well, I was going to get D. This was like six years ago. How? The sports agency. D's almost too short. Yeah, but that's what they said. They said no one will be able to find you.

And I was like, all right, my initials, DDd and then i woke up the next morning i had i was verified i had dd and then i had like 10 000 more followers yeah and uh yeah but it's cool but it also sucks because you get tagged in everything i get tagged in all of demi lovato stuff because she's dd lovato i get tagged in like random just like people in the Middle East just tag me and it's like

this one gets KFC I get KFC all the time okay exactly even like customer complaints all the time Dunkin Donuts what are you talking about

Dunkin Donuts fucking Dunkin do it like D.D. so yeah it's yeah D.D. it's cool and like people

I'll talk to people like oh what's your Instagram I'm like oh it's D.D. and they're like and I'm like no that's it period, it's cool. And people, I'll talk to people, like, oh, what's your Instagram? I'm like, oh, it's D, D. And they're like, and I'm like, no, that's it. Period. Stop. It's over. Yeah.

Yeah. So it's cool. David Dobrik offered a substantial sum of money for it. How much? Come on. How many zeros were involved? It was a good five figures. It was a good five figures.

Wait, a good five? Yeah. Oh, David Dob five figures. Wait, a good five? Yeah. Oh, David Dobrik. Come on, dude. I was going to say, you should have negotiated you can get them. I was thinking in the millions. Yeah, I was going to say like a million dollars. For a million, I'd probably let go of it.

I would fucking hope so, dude. I don't know what your bank accounts look like, but I would hope you let go of a fucking Instagram ad. I'd consider it. But yeah. Pretty much the butchery and the fucking... Five figs. You gotta come stronger than that, though.

But this was like 2018, back when it wasn't valuable. No one knew that Instagram handles would have value like that now. Right, right. So, yeah, no, it's definitely cool. But, yeah, my Instagram's just DD. It's just my initials. All right, brother. We appreciate the time.

We're going to do Answer the Internet. Do we have room for that? Yeah. We'll go next story. Oh, great. Thank you very much. Is this live? No.

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