KFC Radio - We React to Tom Brady's OFFICIAL and Final Retirement Announcement - Full Episode

Episode Date: February 2, 2023

- Feits is living with a stranger at the moment - A clarification to the Stiletto Story - Tom Brady and Adriana Chechick are retiring - Mr. Beast cured blindness and people are mad - Twitch streamer gets caught watching AI p*rn of his roommates gf + a whole messy situation - Dr. Phil retired / Where is Oprah now? - Criminal Minds and Lone Star are the best worst shows ever - Plane Break-up - Girls recording guys at the gym - Jackie got an IUD - Video Voicemails ++++++++++++++++++++ Timecodes: 00:00:00 Start 00:06:22 Feits is living with a stranger 00:19:34 A clarification to the stiletto story 00:21:06 Chechik and Brady are retiring 00:27:31 Mr. Beast cured blindness and people are mad 00:36:29 Twitch streamer gets caught watching AI p*rn 00:54:06 Dr. Phil retired / Where is Oprah now? 00:59:15 Criminal Minds and Lone Star are the worst shows 01:11:00 Plane Break-up 01:21:16 Girls recording guys at the gym 01:30:08 Jackie got an IUD 01:42:52 Video Voicemails ++++++++++++++++++++ Bundle - Will run through 2/12: Code - GAMEDAY23 Discount - 15% Off Single Barrel Bundles Link: https://shop.whistlepigwhiskey.com/collections/barstool-bundles / https://shop.whistlepigwhiskey.com/collections/barstool-bundles?utm_medium=social&utm_source=barstool&utm_campaign=singlebarrel (also found on Barstool Barrels page) Barrels: Barstool Barrels - https://shop.whistlepigwhiskey.com/pages/barstool-single-barrels / https://shop.whistlepigwhiskey.com/pages/barstool-single-barrels?utm_medium=social&utm_source=barstool&utm_campaign=singlebarrel KFC Barrel - https://shop.whistlepigwhiskey.com/products/piggyback-single-barrel-rye-kfc-radio / https://shop.whistlepigwhiskey.com/products/piggyback-single-barrel-rye-kfc-radio?utm_medium=social&utm_source=barstool&utm_campaign=kfcradioYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. The fact that it was going to say a secret the whole time. We're at the last, we're at the 11th hour, and you fucking let it out. It's another edition of KFC Radio on the Barstool Sports Network. Today's episode has Clancy and Feidelberg. Feidelberg back from the dead. I don't know if you can technically say Feidelberg was on last episode because it was a corpse of himself.

It was. Bro, so last... That was like a two and a half hour episode. I felt so bad. It was like we have to recap every second of this trip. It's like our most important episode ever. And I know it was the one day that you wanted to get in and out in like 40 minutes. It was Monday's episode, like concussion protocol should have stepped in.

Like, get this guy off the field. He clearly can't stand. He is in no shape. For real. He's doing damage to himself. I think you could have played football better than podcasts in the shape that you were in. Dude, I was seeing the clips that we put out, and I was even like,

I was like, I hadn't drank in two days, and I looked so impossibly disheveled. It was just this stare, too. I felt so bad. I wanted to just be like, let's just end it. Let's just end it. Let's go home. Let's just go home. Let's just go home. I know that feeling, man. We're not talking hangover.

We're talking, like like fighting for your life. Yeah. You know, where you're like. Dude, my hand was discolored. Yeah. I was like looking at parts of my body being like, what the fuck is that all about? God. When you're.

When did this happen? When something's wrong with your blood. I don't have a headache. I'm not nauseous. My blood is the problem. By the way, I don't know what happened there, but I don't know if I was doing something in Amsterdam that I forgot. But something.

I'm going to bruise this all over my body after this. I got Jackie's band-aids over here. Mmm! That is disgusting! Jacqueline, that's a fine. That's a $50 fine. This place is gross, but we can't be doing used band-aids.

What are we, a fucking water park in-aids What are we A fucking water park In Virginia What are we An indoor water park Yo the worst thing That I've ever seen Happen to a person Was at the restaurant

That I worked at We had this old cook That let a band-aid Slip off into a roast beef And a lady bit into it And we didn't Comp her meal Did she

She caught it and knew? She caught it when it was in her mouth. Yeah, we should have given her all the money. She now owns the restaurant. I was the waiter. I was like, I don't know what to do. I'm surprised she didn't burn that place

down. I would come back for sure with a gun. Someone's going to burn that place down at some point. Yeah, that was... um anyway so john is back and today's episode is brought to you by whistle pig it's a whistle pig takeover day this is a special this is a special day this is not just your average uh sponsor this is uh the official whistle pig kfc radio bundle is now for sale. You get the KFC Radio limited edition single barrel. This is unbelievable, by the way.

Can we get this? I was going to say, can we hook it up, Whistlepig? We need our own. You get the KFC Radio limited edition single barrel that comes with a Whistlepig stopper, like a top that has the Whistlepig logo catching a football. From the big game.

And it comes with Whistlepig's signature maple syrup, specially designed for old fashions. So you can have the KFC Radio maple syrup old fashioned with our whiskey, with our stopper, with their syrup. It is, it is the perfect bundle. We're already past the holidays and shit, but if you need to get a gift for someone, for yourself, if you just wanted to complete your bar cart or your actual bar, the Whistlepig Bundle with KC Radio is it. The bottle itself is unbelievable, plus the stopper. Plus the syrup. It is everything that you need. So, go to...

Oh, and for the first time ever, you can get a discount on Whistlepig Whiskey. Oh, it's got 100 on the back? That's very cool. So, the stopper is like a work of art. The stopper's sick, the whiskey's delicious, the fucking syrup's unbelievable. And you get 15% off when you use code GAMEDAY23 off any of the single barrel bundles.

Oh, the big game day? I can't believe, like, usually brands of Whistlepig's caliber don't really fuck around with promo codes and discounts. The fact that you can get 15% off on Whistlepig whiskey is like, you know, getting, like, having a promo code on, like, the finest designer clothes and shit.

It's like, this is top-notch shit and you can get 15% off when you go to Whistlepigwhiskey.com. Use promo code GAMEDAY23 and you'll get the KC Radio whiskey, the stopper, and the maple syrup to make,

if you haven't had an old-fashioned maple syrup with Whistlepig yet, the perfect amount of spice with our whiskey, the perfect amount of sweet with their syrup. Ah! It's perfect. I can't recommend it enough. I don't want to be rude to listeners. I never do.

But you're a goddamn bonehead if you don't do this. It's one of those things like just try it and you'll go, oh, my God, you were right. Yeah. And if you don't like the syrup, you can just get the whiskey and the stopper. So if you're not into old fashions with maple syrup, you don't have to do that. But I highly recommend it because a little bit of sweet to go with that spice and that smoke. Sweet, smoky, salty, spicy, whatever. Unbelievable. So get the Wh the whistle pig bundle right now they are sponsoring today's episode in a major way we are

ramping up this year you know the first of the year has gone by it's now time to make it the year of whistle pig so everybody if you haven't tried it yet try it get the kfc radio bottle specifically and if you have tried it now's the time to get the bundle so you can do the old fashioned maple syrup style get your Whistlepig all year long at WhistlepigWhiskey.com I can't think of anything worse

so John is on his deathbed and if you were to make a list of like, oh I'm back, today I'm just playing hard right, but like you were even if it's Rev like i'm back today i'm just playing her right but like you were like today even this revival is just because there's no water here i'd rather have a water you could have water by the way i had a goddamn graveyard in front of you at the end of that episode i bet i like i think i had seven different it got to the point where i was just grabbing water bottles anything that has liquid just drinking bro i said i set the world record

there's there i'm pretty sure record. I'm pretty sure. No joke. I'm pretty sure. I would be hard-pressed to believe someone has ever drank more water in 48 hours than I did. Bro, it was... Have you seen this guy, by the way, making world records? We'll talk about him in a minute. He's just making dumb world records.

I think you should break him. They're stupid. I mean, that was a bit I wanted to do when we first moved to New York. And then people were like I don't know We just never did it Remember I wanted Remember one

The first one I wanted to do Was the The 100 hours on the couch Of streaming Yeah But like I wanted to have Like a series Where it was just like

I was breaking records Break dumb Because there's a million Dumb records I think he also just Makes them up It's not even like He breaks them

He's just like He's like nobody's ever Like spit this many Ping pong balls in the air So I'll do that I mean there's a thousand World records that anyone could break. Dude, he broke the world record for 100 meters blindfolded.

It's like 14 seconds. If I'm like Tariq Hill, I go out there tomorrow and just fucking throw on a blindfold and do it in like eight. Yeah, that's true. Like, now I'm a world record holder. Fuck you, you slow white guy. Like, this is light work, man. It is hard running with blindfolded, but get the fastest man in the world to do it.

I mean, we should absolutely try to break that for the vlog, and I feel like we're going to fall. Oh, yeah, yeah. I'm not going to do it. I'm not saying I can, but someone else definitely can. Anyway, if you're making a list, if you're on your deathbed from a hangover, and you're making a list of, last things you want, I will say the top of the list is having a child there.

Yeah, right. Because that beats it. Other than having a kid to take care of, what John had to go through might be the worst thing you can imagine. So I have a roommate. I've said've said it before i guess we don't talk about that often yeah i uh it's like a pseudo roommate though it's like it's my cousin it's your cousin it's your family but like it was supposed to be short term ended up just kind of being like the guy on the couch right like it was yeah so john became the guy on the couch in his own apartment somehow it was. It was like a month.

He's like, can I crash for a month? And I was like, yeah, of course. And then on month three, I woke up to a moving company emptying my office. I was like, I think he's going to be here a little longer. Didn't say a word to you, did he? No, no, no, no. We've talked about things. But everything's always like a talk.

But you've talked about most things. This? No, this, no, no. We've talked about things. But everything's always like a talk. But you've talked about most things. No, this we talked about. You did? I was in Amsterdam. Oh, that makes a lot more sense. And I was like, this I actually pushed back on because I went, I don't even know in what order to tell a story. Yeah, okay, wait, let's explain what's happening first. Or you can explain the text you sent me.

Monday night. Because that's where you thought it was. Monday, I left here at like 4pm, went home, and just sat on the couch. I legitimately thought you were going to go to the hospital. So John, he should have gone to the hospital, but he went home. So that's the shape he's in right now. Picture that.

And I fall asleep on the couch, and I'm in and out of consciousness. When you're that hungover, your eyes are shutting, but I couldn't even tell if I was sleeping at some point. But definitely by 7 p.m., I'd taken two naps already. Then 9.30, I'm out cold on the couch, and a stranger walks into my apartment. Fucking the door himself key in door in door handle turns stranger steps in opens the door and he's like what's up man and i was like at that point i had a flashback to the text exchange i had in amsterdam that makes more sense with my cousin texting me like, he's gone for like a month. Being like, do you mind if my friend crashes? And even

in my drunken state, even in the pussy that I am, I pushed back in my head. I went, I don't want to have to be letting him in. Yeah. Which I thought that fixed the problem. I'll give him my key. I'll get worse. It gets worse because you're such a pussy

It was It was like No There's a We have a lockbox There's a key in the lockbox I was like Oh yeah that's right

Okay I was like Whatever And so this kid walks in Who like I have no idea who he is I have To this day

I actually Like an hour ago I got a little bit More clarification Because I had to call My cousin to tell him something. Like, what the fuck? I'm like, I'm living a crazy life right now.

Yeah. And so this kid walks in, and he just goes, what's up, man? And I was like, I rolled over. I was asleep. I rolled over on the couch. I went, what's up, man? And he said, which way is Johnny's room? And I was like, it's this way.

And he goes, that way? Points the complete opposite direction. And I was like, no. No, it's this way. But it's like 9.30 p.m. And you know when you're in your home, you just want to relax. Yes. And at that point, I could no longer because there was a stranger in the house.

So I was like, well, I guess I'm going to bed at 930. Right. So I get up, go to bed. That's the whole night. I hear him in the shower in the morning. Oh, my God, dude. And I'm like, all right, that wasn't a fever dream. That's crazy.

There's actually a person living here. And then he gets home from work yesterday, and he introduces himself to me again. And at that point, I was like, you've got to be fucking kidding me. What are you talking about? You don't remember the person who's home? You're just scratching. Wait, he didn't remember? Yeah.

I thought maybe he knew you went to Amsterdam. No, he has no idea who I am. So he comes into my apartment apartment i'm also assuming he's like your cousin's age like he's like a younger dude it's not like there's anything weird with that like he's no yeah he's like like your age yeah yeah and and he's like hey man what's your name again i was like all right it's john and he goes right right the same name as the guy you're replacing john he goes right right right johnny's cousin The same name as the guy you're replacing, John. He goes, right, right, right, Johnny's cousin. And I went, yeah.

He went, are you guys close? And I was like, we live together. Well, we were. We live together. And he goes, no, I said, we're cousins. I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, we're cousins. We're cousins. And he goes, no, but like, are you close?

I said, we grew up together, yeah. We grew up together. We live together. And he goes, no, but like, are you close? I said, we grew up together. Yeah. We grew up together. We live together. And he goes, but you're close? And I was like, bro, we've known each other for 30 years, and we live together. So you can make the argument it's getting serious. Like, what the fuck do you want from me right now? And then he's like, I'm going to hit it.

And I'm like, okay, that's perfect. And so at this stage, I'm not as hungover. And I'm like, okay, that's perfect. And so at this stage, I'm not as hungover. And I'm like, I'm going to keep watching TV in my living room. Yeah. And I'm just going to hang out here. Dude. And so I. If this story goes anywhere with him making a demand from you.

No, no, no, no, no, no. I thought he was going to come out and be like, I need to turn the TV down. But the whole day I was sitting there thinking about what time this guy coming home. Yeah. What excuse am I going to make? Totally. If he like sits down on the whole day i was sitting there thinking about what time this guy coming home yeah what excuse am i gonna make totally if he like sits down on the couch absolutely like i'm like i was like i'm gonna go to a bar just looms over fuck out of here everything and so he comes in and jerk off in the kitchen anymore he comes in he goes like i'm gonna hit the head whatever i hit the hay i was like word and and then he does that and despite the fact that for six hours i've been like how the fuck am i gonna get out of this i'm like you're not even gonna do it like you're ever gonna hang out here

you're gonna ask me if i want to get a beer or something like what are you talking about like i would have said no so i would have been furious but at least ask me what are you talking about you're not gonna ask me if i want i want a fucking dinner or a beer or something. And so I'm like, whatever. I'm just going to keep hanging out in my living room. And this terrible roommate doesn't even want to hang out. And this, hours go by at this point, and I'm watching Bargatze's new special. It's unbelievable.

For the second time, actually. I'm watching Nate's new special at like 10 30 last night and uh he comes out and i'm like even in my apartment i'm laying on my couch but like like to the point i'm laying so low that i can only see like a certain level of things you know what i mean yeah and so he walks out in in from my line of vision what I can only describe as a robe. And he goes into the bathroom and I got a TV on low because the guy's sleeping right there and I just hear him taking a shit. Oh my god.

And I'm like... It's just like loud shit noises. It's a Tuesday night. I just want to watch a comedy special and there's a stranger shitting in my living room right now. And then so this is my favorite part, I think. So then I call my cousin.

He texted me, like, any issues. And I was like, no, no, no. No, we're good. And so I text him to call him, and I'm telling him the story. Yada, yada, yada. He's like, all right, this is a tough way to end the call. You mind if he stays the other night? Oh what do you think i said so we think i'm going home too baby no oh my god i might get a hotel tonight i might bro we we're gonna make a pact right here we're gonna we're gonna work we're going to make a pact right here.

We're going to work on something. You're going to say no to something this year. This year, I want one time, I want you to say no to somebody when they ask something ridiculous of you. You're running a hostel for free. Yeah. You're not going to get a beer or two out of it. Nobody has ever been more within their grounds to just simply go, Johnny, dude, not now, man. I just got back from Amsterdam.

I'm dying. It would have been so easy to say that. You act the ultimate out. But this world we live in, I'm like, that's going to be fucking funny. Like some weird shit's going to happen. That's true. That's in a prison of your own making. Yeah.

Even if I didn't have a podcast, even if it was just a guy who told stories at the office, I'd be like, I have a stranger living with me right now. I would allow it to happen just so I could go into work the next day and be like, you guys are not going to believe what's happening. Does he know who you are? Dude, he doesn't know my name.

Yeah, right no he has no idea like there's a kfc radio poster in my living room he definitely thinks i'm just like a fan of whatever that is he doesn't know what it is right it is you has no idea he's just getting blown up on this right now that's so fucking i'm i'm hoping that there's some fan out i mean he like he he seems like a perfectly nice guy it's just an impossible situation i hope that there's somebody who's a fan who knows him who's like you know he's like yeah i'm staying at my uh dude no one's gonna know him my cousin doesn't know him no no my cousin doesn't know him wait what my cousin's met him twice wait what

you've met him more times than your cousin i learned that on the phone call today. He's like, I met him like once or twice. What? I didn't even. I was like standing outside the office. At that point, you don't ask questions. I don't even know. I don't even know what that means. Someone I've met once or twice says, can I stay at your place while you're gone? He's definitely like an awkward.

He's like an awkward, as you can imagine. He's an awkward kid. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Holy shit. That is the single most intrusive fucking ask of all time. But I was like, dude, it's awkward, and that's funny for me. So let's go. But I almost want you to call your cousin and be like, just so you know.

Normal people would say no to this. Yeah, I think I said. I'm saying yes because this is so outrageous. It will make my comedy show funny. I think my text this morning was, is any trouble with whatever his name is? I went, no. No, no. For sure one of the most bizarre experiences of my life, but it's funny, so that's all I need.

Unbelievable. Well, you are a hero for that. You will always, as we found out in Amsterdam, take the bullet for the story. Take the stiletto, as they say. But God damn, if there was ever a time for you to just say no, it was fucking that. I said yes in Amsterdam. In Amsterdam. That's tough, too. That's funny. You you to just say no, it was fucking then. I said yes in Amsterdam. In Amsterdam.

That's tough, too. That's funny. You go to Amsterdam and you make bad mistakes, right? You say yes to things you shouldn't. Yeah. Not usually. This one's number one on our list. The other one's number two.

The other one when I choked on my own fecal matter. Still not as bad as this. No, that one, there is something I'd like to clarify about that story. It mostly rimmed out. It was like... You got a rim job. It was like the Swaggy P gif, where it almost went in, and then it fucking popped out. I didn't get fucked by a stiletto.

It was more like I got fingered by a stiletto. How many, like a knuckle? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Your first knuckle? I'll give him a knuckle. With a butthole, I feel like it's one of those. A stiletto is skinny, so like. You know in space movies when there's one door and then there's another door?

Yeah. There's like two doors to a butthole. Oh, definitely. It's got one door in it. Okay. This doesn't get through the mudroom. It's the second door. The mudroom is the real

problem with the asshole. Almost everybody can open up the front door. You can break into anybody's asshole. It's getting past the mudroom that's the problem. All you can steal is the jackets and boots though. You're not getting to the nice TVs, dude.

The relax and breathe part is the mudroom. That's where you need to get past that second door. Make sure you're decontaminated. Get sprayed and you're clean and then you can go through. Into the great

abyss. And then it just, then apparently it just opens up for days. Yeah. It's an open floor plan when you get in there. Fleshlight or buttholes are just balloons. They really are. And when you see what some of these people can do, it's just like, it's just open, apparently.

It's just wide open space. Oh, by the way, I got a text from somebody who represents Adriana Cechik. She's coming on the show in March. Yeah? Gang shit. You know, it would have been better Prior to Her horrific injuries Yeah we get

Where the goats are retiring So Yeah that's true Tom Brady I think she did I think Adrien Is she retired

Like two days ago Yeah oh yeah I think so Well then that's the most Important retirement She definitely Retweeted a video Of her on a podcast

Saying she's retired Okay That is That is The most important Retirement of the week Tom Brady Calls it quits.

You know what Brady's retirement has taught me? First of all, there's not much. Stay retired? That's what it taught me. It taught me that there's only three opinions on everything. What do you mean? I think Twitter has made me realize. It's more Twitter than Brady.

People only have three opinions on any subject. It Twitter than Brady. People only have three opinions. On any subject. It doesn't matter. There's only three opinions. There's the good, the bad, and the ugly. That's it. Today was goat. This isn't real.

And ha-ha, your family left you. Good, bad, ugly. Those are the only takes on any subject at all. But god damn, that was not worth it, man. There's no way he's happy about that. Clearly, I think there's a lot of nuance to the relationship. Clearly, that relationship was ending anyway. It ended a week into the season.

Definitely. Two weeks into the season, whatever it was. You have to imagine there's a lot to do with that. There wasn't that much strain added because of this, where it's like, I played football for another month? I don't know, man. No, I think it was more the, like, you went back on your word sort of thing. Not like that you were playing football.

His word was you're going to play until 45. Motherfucker's 45. Yeah, yeah. But that's why you shouldn't have retired until he was 45 then. If you wanted to play until you were 45, you shouldn't retire at 44. That's what that's taught me. But, yeah, I mean, you know, it's also funny.

It's like whenever these things happen, too, it's like Miley Cyrus made her song, which is a fucking banger about Chris Hemsworth. And then Shakira made her song about her husband. And now, like, people are, like, clowning Brady. And it's like, all those guys are fine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All those people are like clowning brady and it's like all those guys are fine yeah yeah all those guys are like oh no you made a song about me getting away from my marriage you know like it's obviously like there's levels of embarrassment but it's like you know everyone's like oh wow it's like yeah this guy's happy fucking his like brand new girlfriend who's super goddamn high.

No, no. Fuck that chick. Oh, I met, well, I actually met PK and all the other guys. Oh,

okay. But, but that chick, is she really dating? No, no. One of these, let's reverse the sexes here.

That woman's a stalker. That woman, she just, she just keeps showing up in fucking bucks games to the point where people call her his girlfriend. That's crazy. This girl doesn't even speak English. Like, it is insane that this woman's allowed to keep doing this. Tom Brady should take out a restraining order on her.

It's insane. And people are like, oh, his girlfriend. Why? Why is it his girlfriend? Because she posts pictures in his jersey? He's Tom fucking Brady. Right. Have they been seen together?

No, they haven't been seen together. They were in a car that Tom Brady also owns. But yeah, it was a car that it was like a fucking car that rich people have. Was it electric? There was a Bentley in Florida. It's like, okay. It's the most bizarre thing.

People just said it on the internet and people are just like, now it's true. Yeah, that is crazy. This woman's a fucking psychopath. Look at that. Tom Brady's rumor girlfriend's already actually married. Dude, this chick, she was on Pillow Talk. You think fucking Tom Brady's letting his girl go on fucking Pillow Talk? No. Speaking, I don't know if it was Pillow Talk, but it was another podcast.

Did you see what Sky Bree said? No. Sky, Pav sent this to me. Sky Bree said that she was having a Pav sent this to me. Sky Bree said that she was having a threesome with another chick in Jake Paul.

Oh, I did see this actually. And the chick, she had like just taken a shit. Oh, no, I didn't see this.

And, uh, she, Sky Bree, what was it Pav? Sky Bree was fingering her ass and then Jake Paul

like licked it up. It was fucking wild. stuck his fingers up her ass ten minutes after she took a shit and he put them in my mouth and I sucked it off and I said mmm. And I said mmm.

And the whole room smelled like shit afterwards. Basically, I'm a rider. You know, I didn't enjoy the taste of her shit but I actually tasted exactly how it smells. That's gross. That's fucking gross, man. Same thing works for stilettos, by the way.

As an expert on ATM. I'm kidding. It rimmed out. But, you know, what was real is Ratajkowski and Eric Andre were spotted romantic fucking sunset kissing. Really? Yeah. Were they actually kissing? I've only seen the photos where it looks clearly posed again.

It's like they're going near to kiss. Oh, yeah. I mean, I guess I didn't see lip to lip, but it was like they're leaning. I mean, that's... I'm going to go ahead and say they finished the job. And if they weren't kissing there, i want to know what they were doing because that would be uh pretty fucking weird otherwise so sometimes i'm like the internet's so stupid like eric andre's just walking on the street with her and then it's like well no they're they're fucking i don't know i don't i never know what to believe because sometimes i'm with you or

it's like this is stupid and then other times i'm like humans are pretty basic people yeah and if you're like around each other you're probably fucking but that's that's the point they're not around right well they've never been together well that's what's really crazy about the brady thing it's just like she once wore a bucks jersey and she was in a car i think i think the um people i think it's just like it's one of those things where like the internet and social media we shouldn't have it kind of deal where Where it's like stories just happen. I remember Mike Freeman, NFL writer, he said one time

he's had some fucking story about some like Ravens Steelers game or something like that. Like some innocuous thing, it doesn't matter. And someone said, you're just doing this for clickbait. And it was like a regular ass story about football. And he's like, you're just doing this for clickbait.

You're doing it for clicks. And he just quotes me and went, brother, if I want to do anything for clicks, I just write Tom Brady's name. Like that's not, if I wanted clicks, I just write Tom Brady's name. There's an easier way to do it. Tom Brady's girlfriend did blank. Tom Brady's girlfriend did this. Right, right. I'm actually trying here.

Well, fucking Mr. Beast is genuinely the nicest person on the planet Earth and gets called like a clickbait asshole. Dude, but everyone like, but dude, clickbait or even that. I hate that term because even that existed forever. Yeah, you're right. I am already clickbait. I'd like you to fucking get the content. I totally, totally. But I mean, that's what a headline is.

Sure. totally totally but but i mean that's what a headline is sure but there's also just like levels to it where it's like when you say like um you know like uh like this one like secret that nobody knows and then you click on it and it's like something's in the shower save time exactly like those things where it's like a compelling headline that gets you to read my content is it's yes clickbait but it's more when you deceive me or whatever like it's a stupid thing but that but i think that's different this is the most effort anyone's ever gone through to fucking get people to click i'm gonna get i'm gonna find this doctor link up with this uh charity we're gonna travel around it took three weeks to find a thousand people who like uh fit the fit the surgery from country to country i'm gonna fix

their eyes we're gonna film all of them pre and post i'm gonna give some of them ten thousand dollars cash i'm gonna arrange a fucking tesla for others who can't who now can drive again and i'm gonna pay for some people to go to fucking college fifty thousand dollars and now you're calling it clickbait. Fuck you guys. Fuck. This took more work than most people have done in their whole goddamn lives. And he puts it on YouTube because, yeah, he wants people to see it for a couple reasons.

One, he's a content producer. Two, he wants to raise awareness for the fact that it's pretty fucked up. By the way, this surgery is not expensive and we could cure a zillion people of this if the insurance was right and all that shit. And three, I'm going to make more money This surgery is like, it's not expensive and we could cure a zillion people of this if like the insurance was right and like all that shit. And three, I'm going to make more money to do this again.

Like, I honestly think that people are so used to bad people that they just can't comprehend this dude, Jimmy Donaldson. He's just like, he's 24. He has more money than he literally says. He has more money than he, he literally says, I have more money than I know what to do with. Right. He's got the fourth biggest YouTube channel of all time.

And so he's like, I give it away to people. I do these things where I give people a need. Awesome things. And everybody is just like, no, no, you're bad.

But they just can't be devil's advocate. They can't comprehend a good person. Has anyone of any substance said anything like can you like i because i read big t's article on big t had three tweets yeah i mean as always there's a there's a slew of tweets yeah it's like i don't think he's there like is there an article can you see like miss like is there like has anyone written in like an article that's like mr beast like this is there's like no because anybody like who i would i would imagine anybody who like has a platform that matters would would see the value in this but i think it's just the the majority of like the

reaction that he saw when he put that out was people being like you don't want the world to change because then you would never actually have any content that's fucking insane to say no i like that first of all it's because i don't like i love i don't want anything getting better because then you won't listen to my fucking podcast i don't want fucking you to get to work from home because then you won't listen to my podcast get your ass to the office i also love the idea that Mr. Beast could fix all of the problems in the world. Like there's not... One day he won't have a video to make because everyone

in the world is happy. I mean, I don't know why people try. If I was him, I'd be like, alright, you know what? Fuck all you guys. I'm just going to make videos of me just burning my money now. You dumb assholes. This is another three opinions on this.

Good, bad, ugly. There's congratulations. You don't want to fix the world. And you're a bad person. And you're a bad person. He is like, he might be the, I think my new answer to who should we send to meet aliens, I think it's this guy. Is this guy?

I think it's this guy. If you wanted to represent the good of humanity, I think it's this guy. I think this is the only good person on the planet. I mean, nobody... I mean, he's definitely doing it for content, but that's okay. But, yeah, I mean, I... It's okay to do things for content, but it's why he's doing it. I don't really think so at this point, yeah, I mean, I... Like, it's okay to do things for content,

but it's why you're doing it. I don't really think so at this point, though, because I think he just started as, like, a gaming streamer. Like, that he was doing for content. Yeah. And he was doing, like, fun, like, I'm going to put, like, a million fucking Mentos in a pool of Diet Coke or whatever. And then I think he was, like,

like, he already did all the content shit. He was already making money for that. I think once he had, like, enough money that it was just like, I don't need this anymore. I actually think it's for... The thing is that you can do. You can be a great person. Yeah, and make content.

But I also think when you make the content to then make more content, you know what I mean? If he was doing these things and you saw that he was stuffing all the money in his pockets or whatever, it'd be like, yeah, he's donating $10,000 but making like $10 million. But it's like he's giving away insane amounts of money.

And that's all anybody wants rich people to do. And then he does it and they say, well, you're only doing it for... If you do good things for the wrong reason, you still did a good thing. You get credit for it. You are still like a good person. And if you do things for the for the right reason then you're just like fucking amazing there's like only one of them on the planet earth i don't think there's anybody else

alive that would that does it this way i think he got like from what i i read something he got his first ten thousand dollars from youtube or whatever and i guess like he was like i guess his mom somebody needed it like he needed a pay run or something like that. And he gave away $10,000 to the first homeless person that he saw. Made it a video. And that's when he realized. This isn't new either. The internet is cyclical.

There was a while where this viral helping people was hated. Remember that? Back in the day, it was almost in the same era people would give like, it would be like, fucking, it was almost like in the same era

as the fucking pranks on YouTube. No, well, it still always happens where, you know, Bezos gave $100 million and they said,

well, it's only like a fraction. But no, no, it was like, it was, people always hate on charity. It was distinctly,

because I remember the debate about it. It was distinctly filming charity, filming doing charity. And people who were doing it at the time, their argument was, well, I'm hoping to inspire other people to do it as well. This is the same thing.

I'm sure he's hoping to inspire other people. I'm sure he's hoping to make more money so he can help other people. But you're going to get criticized. Because it is like, well, I wouldn't make any public criticism. But I do understand the argument. Why don't you just do it? Because look what he's doing.

No, I get him. He has a whole fucking philanthropic endeavor. I want to be clear. I'm not anti-Mr. B. Like a random person who does it, I get people being like, you are nobody. And whether or not people see this doesn't matter. So just give them the money. But this guy is like an entire it's like why why

why why does charities exist like why not just do it in silence like well because it fucking makes the world a better place literally what it says on his fucking website there uh all right little tip for you real quick we got valentine's day coming up we got the big football game coming up don't just do your regular usual don't you know you show up with your buffalo chicken dip like every other idiot. You get your chocolates and your flowers for Valentine's Day like every other moron. Why don't you do something a little special?

Why don't you do something a little extra and show up with some Whistlepig in your hand? And not just any Whistlepig. The KC Radio commemorative single barrel rye. You get that bottle. You get the Whistlepig stopper, which is their logo, catching a football. And you get the Whistlepig Stopper which is their logo catching a football and you get the

Whistlepig Maple Syrup so that you can make the maple syrup old fashions you show up to any party with that you get that for Valentine's Day

for your man or your woman class it up spice it up sex it up a little bit dude imagine learn how to make a good old fashioned

have one of those sitting in the living room when they come out have them sit in the shower for them. That's a dream. Not in the shower. You probably get a little water in there. But when they get out of the shower, they're all fucking clean.

Here's a nice drink for you. A little maple syrup in there, a little spritz of the orange. Ah, it's perfect. Or if you show up to the football game and you're like, dude, let's kill this bottle of Whistlepig. Either way, you are the star of the night when you get the Whistlepig KFC Radio bundle. It's the bottle of whiskey and the stopper or the whiskey, the

stopper. The stopper is so sick. The stopper is like a little piece of art. You can use that on any bottle for the rest of your life. I have multiple stoppers just sitting on my bureau. That's a good thing to collect. Get a stopper everywhere you go in the world or for gifts every year. Get a stopper everywhere you go in the world or for gifts every year. Get a stopper.

This one's cool. Only available now with the KFC Radio Bundle. So go to WhistlePigWhiskey.com, use promo code GAMEDAY23, and get 15% off the bundle. That's WhistlePigWhiskey.com, promo code GAMEDAY23. There actually is another YouTube account made. We'll put a clip of it in. They made, a couple years ago, Meat Canyon made I Saved a Life Challenge with Mr. Beast. It's fucking hilarious.

It's like, I'm Mr. Beast here, and I'm going to give this heart transplant to this man who needs it. But first, he's got to go through a hundred different coolers to find it. And it's making fun of his whole philanthropy thing. Oh, I thought it was real. Exactly. He's the all he's done he was gonna do squid games right he did like real yeah yeah yeah but this is like you know that's real squid games yeah you better find your heart before you die it's very very funny meat canyon was a guy who did it uh because i saw a bunch of people like tweeting that out when this whole thing went viral but that's like ingesting it's funny and yes there is some level of like look at me

i'm doing a good thing but i that's not the right guy to do it with do it with the other fucking assholes because there's plenty of other assholes on the internet to come to come to come at the uh the latest is i don't give a fuck about the people in this story because they're ultimately nobodies but it is it is an interesting uh conversation as to what's going to happen with ai because we got our first dude getting nailed over um i guess this is not ai this is deep fake but both of them are kind of you know hand in hand making i think for the purposes of this conversation they're the same same thing. So this guy, Atriok, again, these names don't matter. I'm not saying that these people are important.

But this guy, Atriok, was streaming on Twitch, and he was doing like a screen share. And as he was showing some other shit, he had a tab open, and that tab was deep fake porn of other streamers. These two girls who are other Twitch streamers. What the hell was... Was this guy... He has two tabs open? Right. You can't read any of my fucking tabs. That's what I thought. I mean, you can see with the little logo.

I guess if it just legit said deep fake PokeMina or whatever her name was. If it's just two words, I guess. I keep my tabs. My tabs fucking stay ready, bro. Oh, I keep them. I got tabs open from, like, 1998 right now.

You should go on Open Tabs with Bert. Oh, yeah? That's his thing is you just show up in whatever your tabs are on your phone. You, like, go through them. Oh, I'm talking my laptop. My phone tabs. My phone tabs. No, not a different story.

I'll fucking do it right now, I think. Okay. I'll lie to it right now I think Okay I'll lie to you If I see something I don't like Here's the deal First one's a little weird And it's because I couldn't fucking figure out

Who her character's supposed to be It wasn't for a weird reason But my first one open Is Bella Ramsey And I was just trying to see I can't tell her character The loss of us I can't tell if she's supposed to be

Like a 12 year old Who swears Or if she's older because she is a little older looking, but she also just found tampons last episode. Gives me a weird vibe. I was just trying to get a vibe on the character. What's the deal here with this, Jay?

Good cover story. Deep fake Bella Ramsey. She's 19 in real life. I imagine the character is of a comparable age. I have a comedian who we just asked to be on the show. I have a Barstool Sports t-shirt.

Another Barstool Sports tab. You know what's crazy? This is the craziest thing about me. I only have four tabs open right now. You have like a thousand, don't you? I have Our Legacy, Clothing I Was Looking For, Taylor Swift and Feileberg, whenever we talked about that. Netflix sign-in, Buying a Ticket to Killington, Caroline I was looking for, Taylor Swift and Feileberg, whenever we talked about that. Netflix sign-in, buying a ticket to Killington. Caroline Darvin, IMDB.

Who is this? I have no idea. You got nothing weird? Or Venus. No, because I closed those ones, it seems, under the banner of heaven. Make sure you hide your dirt. Yeah. What about in your incognito

Do you do that? No I don't do incognito Ralph finds his Wikipedia page I'm going to play I've got the Mr. Beast cartoon That I just googled I always Try and find this one

I think it's a different thing The sunny gift And good day to use With the Italian The gang gets whacked off I think it's a different thing. The sunny gift and good day to use? And good day to use. When the gang gets whacked off. I don't know why that always kills me. And good day to use. I actually was looking for another always sunny thing the other day.

The other day? You start talking like him. Because it was Flavin' Flav said he spent for nine years. Yeah, what was it? He spent $6,000 a day on crack or something along these lines. Nine years he spent. Give me the exact numbers.

That just can't be right. $2,600 a day for six years straight. It's about a million dollars per year he spent on crack. I was looking for the... I think crack is cheap. Crack is the cheapest drug. I know, but when you got a lot of money. That's pounds every day.

He said he was selling it. Oh, okay. But he said he was his biggest customer. That makes sense. I feel like every drug dealer is the richest. That's the richest crackhead of all time. Absolutely. So anyway, plot twist the girls being deep faked not only are they

streamers they're also his roommate's girlfriend okay so he gets caught and i i think rather than just being like oh man i was fucking you know I see a lot of weird shit on the Internet. He makes this video with his wife in the background just crying. He's sobbing. She doesn't say a word. And she's just, you know, like, like out of focus in the background crying. And he goes like, dude, he goes, dude, this is so embarrassing to say. But I was on Pornhub.

Okay. I was on Pornhub. And I'll tell you the weirdest thing about this whole thing he clicked on one of the ads that's what brought him to the deep fake oh who clicks on the fucking pornhub i don't know but i think it's a brave person yeah he said he was like i just had morbid curiosity so i don't know if it's said like i mean that's also the kind of shit i told my mom when I caught on porn yeah it was just the ad it was a pop up which is honestly a plausible excuse to pop up for the porn I was watching

but you could just say pop up so he makes this video crying saying I'm sorry so where is it can you show me like that blurred out thing is that it

and that said it Yeah, so where is it, Paz? Can you show me? Like that blurred out thing? Is that it? And that said it, right? So it was a Google search or just a tab? Oh, actually, so he had one of those almost fucking screens where you pop up. Yeah, all four of them pop up at once. Yeah. So that makes more sense why he could read the full headline. Right. So he then, so he apologizes and cries, wife in the background crying, says we always tried

to make it like a positive stream and we don't do any sex stuff and I was just on Pornhub and that popped up. Then the girl who's getting deep faked, she makes a video, a reaction video to her own deep fake porn where she watches it and then just cries her eyes out and says like, I didn't consent to this and like, like, I didn't consent to this. And, like, this is fucked up. And, like, now I have to spend my money from my team to get this deleted from the internet while you guys are just, like, perverts and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. The other chick just said, like, she just tweeted, like, stop sexualizing people without their consent.

That's all I'm saying. Like, that's pretty good. I think, and then, oh, yeah, the guys from H3N3 just made a video just like laughing at her which was kind of crazy you know that those guys that guy you ever see him he when the Bobby Lee and

Brendan Shaw thing popped up he had the show Trisha Paytas no he does he does it with like his wife now we are always trending these days He had the show, Trisha Paytas. No, he does it with his wife now. Why are we trending? We are always trending these days. Every time a tweet goes viral.

Yeah. Oh, actually, real quick shout-out. Shout-out PFT and Arian Foster. That tweet has inspired the first time I've ever saw Twitter be good in eight years. It's funny. Before we started taping, Aaron was telling me about how the NFL is rigged and how every year he used to get a script. Yeah.

Day one of training camp that would get dropped off at his locker. And you would have to, you know, it was like week one, you'll do this. Week two, you're going to have a hamstring injury. Week three,

this is going to happen. Week four, you're going to get three touchdowns. And so then you just have to, did you memorize those before the season started? Would you go and rehearse the script before every game? I was really dedicated to happen. Week four, you're going to get three touchdowns. And so then you just have to did you memorize those before the season started? Or would you go and rehearse the script before every game? We were really dedicated to it. So it was more so like

that's what practice was about. It was about practicing the script. Like this is what goes on and this is what we have to do in order to And this referee is going to miss this call because they hate you and they love the Colts. That sort of thing. WWF so it's like we know what's going to happen but you still got to put on a show.

What did you think when you got the script in 2016 that said your career was going to fall off a cliff when you stopped believing in God? That was 2015. I don't mean good as in like good. I mean like funny. This is what Twitter was supposed to be. This is what Twitter was for a while.

The quote tweets on this are fucking hilarious. Mm-hmm. Hilarious. But okay. But those, okay. So those guys are H3N3. They just made a video. H3H3.

H3H3. Like, hee-hee. Oh, I thought it was H3N3. Whatever. Anyway. So you don't really need to even know the names and the players here. It's more more you know a lot of people are kind of like this is fucked up yeah but like the weeping and the sobbing and

the apologizing it's like i don't know the internet's a weird place people do weird shit on the internet and um you know like i i i i I guess you don't know. You have to walk a mile in somebody's shoes. Like, how much is this deep fake porn affecting this person's life? If it was, like, fucking broadcast on a Times Square billboard, it's one thing. If it's just, like, there are some weirdos. Like, people have been photoshopping people's heads on weird shit on the internet forever. You know what I mean?

It's just kind of like, if that were to happen to me, I think I'd be like, that's not me. It like that's not me it's a fake like moving on now granted i'm a guy it's very different for a girl your deep fakes are now you look like you're actually the person doing it so maybe her family or friends or someone's like she's doing porn i don't know but like the internet has always been a weird place and will always be a weird place and as it gets more uh like advanced i think you just have to be like this is the new version of you know anytime you like when people would take the bait on like a on a fake or a troll and like that's not me like delete this right away and and like they would you know the trolls would troll back and it's like we got you on the line now you know what i mean like you you bought it hook line and sinker it's like that's this is the

new version of that you know i think this video in particular is insane. I think seeing a person distraught and laughing at it is weird. Yeah, so that was like... That was bizarre. They started to play... It's hard to start thinking something's funny when you see it ruining someone's life. They started to play music in the background,

like piano music, while she was giving her speech. Yeah, that's pretty bizarre. That would be Flounder the Ugly take. Right. That's a weird one. music like like while she was giving her speech yeah that's pretty bizarre that's that i thought we fall under the ugly take right that's so like there's just but it's also like so many levels to the internet of like the guy the deep the people who make the deep fake like weirdo perverts that happens right the guy who was like i kind of believe like morbid curiosity of like i'm gonna click that and it's like yeah people i i also i mean i like like everyone who ever said it was a pop-up they're lying but like like what would the what would

the link you clicked on an ad and it took you to your roommate's girlfriend yeah right that doesn't make any sense no but i'm also like people you know you do weird shit when you're watching porn at home like i don't know i like that's a that's a weird uh ground as well where it's like i don't know i was privately watching some weird shit. Like, you know, uh, Jeffrey tube is just jerking off. It's just jerking off. Yeah.

Like, I think, I think anything you're doing at, when you're trying to be at home and like jerk off and get the poison out, it's like, I'm doing this on, I'm normal and bubbly. You know what I mean?

So there's that level. Then there's the level of the girl. Like, I'm going to watch my own fake porn and like weep, but like, let's get the reaction to that yeah yeah that's what i also get like okay i'm gonna get my fucking clicks in totally they're all streamers like she she has and if i'm her i'm like listen if this is gonna be a story and we're gonna be talking about this like it's i'm getting fucking subscribers right right so i get that but

also if it's gonna hurt you as much as it seems to hurt you it's kind of crazy but i'm gonna watch this and just fucking cry and then the then the reaction videos of like one of the biggest podcasts in the world just being like ah i mean it's just like the internet is so fucked dude it is it's the good bad and the ugly of like of of the whole goddamn thing the the idea of if you look like like don't get me wrong The first naked picture I ever looked at It was like Topanga's face Taped onto someone else's body

They've been doing that since literal scotch tape On a playboy I also don't do it anymore I also think it's fucking weird now So if you're of a certain age And someone tries to show you a naked picture I think it's game And I don't do it because I'm a good person Don't get me wrong about that So if you're of a certain age and someone tries to show you a naked picture, I think it's game. What about, like, I remember.

And I don't do it out of, it's not because I'm a good person. Don't get me wrong about that. It's because I don't give a fuck unless it was sent to me. If I sent you a deep fake, if I was like, look at this, this is like a deep fake porn of Emily Ratajkowski. No. Would you be like, I'm not watching it out of like. No, I'm just not interested. It's not because you told me it's a deep fake. If you told me it's a porn of Emily Ratajkowski. No. Would you be like, I'm not watching it out of like... No, I'm just not interested. It's not because you told me it's a deep fake.

If you told me it's a porn Emily Ratajkowski... Right. I was like, the horse over there. See, I think I would watch it because I'm like interested in how... Like, all these girls are fake. This is crazy. Look at that. None of those girls are real.

Yeah. So, like, I have seen like these four pictures. Like, this does nothing for me. But this does something for anyone in the room well like if you thought they were they're just not your type no it's just like as soon as I know it's fake I don't care

right that's why so a lot of people were like that tweet it is so over like it's over for OnlyFans if you think that people are in OnlyFans for like this shit, like the,

the, the people who really like only fans who subscribe to it and want to DM you and shit. It's not this at all. Why only fans works are the people who think that they like, like, yeah, all these people are zooming in.

Like, look how fake the teeth are. And like the elbows aren't real. And it's like, that is fine. Sure. Sure. Okay. But also what people want is to like pretend that that girl is my girlfriend and I want

her to like DM me back and I want her to say I'm special and I want her to like rate my cock and all that weird shit. It has nothing to do with pictures. That's the people who go like, there are people out there who pay for this. I could just like look up free porn. It's like, yeah, but that's not what they're looking for yeah i can google image naked people but if i'm looking for a connection and blah like i want to feel special i i go to this only fans girl who like pretends now if if they do ai to like if the if the ai people can

like make you feel uh special or whatever but i don't know people being like this is it's over for the like if it was like you want to subscribe to this only fans account of a real girl or an ai girl i'd be like uh the fucking real one what are you talking about i yeah i think it's actually gonna make everything come around i think it's great for the like i don't get why you i think the people who don't who like watch this stuff like obviously you don't really talk to a lot of women right um and i think like i don't i i just feel like the the ai thing and i'm i you know i'm probably gonna be wrong because i'm wrong about everything but like i think that is going to like make

everything come back around to like personal conversations and everything because like like i don't even know if this is real anymore yeah i don't know i don't know if i'm having a real experience with a real person right now be it like even if you're texting your friends like they might be like write a funny joke in response to this i know you better fucking call me and you better be able to riff yeah i want to fucking text with you if i think you might be making that's really like when people are talking about how uh they're using it to write lyrics they're using it to write lyrics. They're using it to write scripts, stories, all that shit. It's like, all right, that might get you a gig writing for somebody or a record deal or something.

But when it comes time to perform live or it comes time to do an interview or it comes time to do, you know, it's like... When it comes time to sing in the subway. I saw a video of Hozier doing that and I was like my god that guy can fucking sing did you see the people on the plane fucking yeah dude I nobody else was singing I think that's fine

but usually I would post that only if like the whole it looked like they were just I don't think it was the person they were entertaining I think the woman was kind of doing the guitar on her own. I think the person filming was, because I think the video said something like, and we got a live performance or something like that.

It didn't seem to say, like, we're doing it. Yeah. And I actually already tweeted this. I said, everyone always says, this happened on my plane. I throw them out the window or whatever. First of all, no, you wouldn't. You'd sit there quietly and do nothing. Yep.

Second of all, I think if you can't, like, I don't want a full fucking performance. I don't want a concert. But if you're going to play me like two or three fucking hits, I can sit there and I

can put a smile on my face in a shitty situation. Yeah, because you're, I mean, you're a fucking well-adjusted adult. But most people are.

Yeah. Well, most people are and then act like they're, you know. Yeah, that's right. Something tougher. I'd throw them off the plane. You would do nothing. You wouldn't do dick. I don't think I would enjoy it like you would, but I would just be like they're, you know. Yeah, that's right. Something tougher than that. Oh, I'd throw them off the plane.

You would do nothing. You wouldn't do dick. I don't think I would enjoy it like you would, but I would just be like, I don't know. These fucking people are playing music. I'm not standing in the aisle, but I'd be like, punch the room. Hell yeah. All right. Breaking news.

Dr. Phil retired. Yeah, this was yesterday, I thought. Maybe I just woke up early enough for that. I thought it was this morning. 25 years on the air for one of the all-time goats. Talk about taking the ball and running with it. Oprah put you on, and then just see you later. Yeah.

Like, thanks. I mean, that's a big, you know, I'm sure, I don't know what he did to get Oprah, like, to be Oprah's doctor appearance, you know? So you already had to be, like, pretty big. Yeah. But talk about fucking, like, thanks. Yeah, you know, it's like Lil Wayne and Drake or something like that.

It's like, you know, thank you, yep, you put me on the record, okay, and now I'm gonna go do this. Dude, you know who we should cancel is fucking Oprah. Oprah put on too many problematic people. Who'd you put on? I mean, Dr. Phil had his issues, and then... With who? He lost his license and shit.

Oh, oh, oh, like he was his license and shit he's not oh oh like he he he was okay he is not dr phil he is he is now phil uh i'm still riding for my man oh i'm not saying but i don't know what he did wrong literally sight unseen i'm defending i've met him he's a nice guy he's awesome he is not a doctor whatever he did wrong he's done more good than that so i'm fucking riding for him uh she put on Dr. Oz. Yep. She also put on... He just turned into, like, an asshole.

He's just an asshole. He also... Yeah, no, but he's also, like, the biggest snake oil... He's being invested by Congress for snake oil salesmen. Yeah. Put on fucking Jenny McCarthy, which... Like, Oprah started the vaccine problem issue. Jenny McCarthy was on Singled Out and all that shit on MTV.

No, no, but she had Jenny McCarthy on to talk about her anti-vaccines. Fucking the fact that people... Oprah's single-handedly destroying men. Yo, when you take the doctor's oath, the end needs to be like, and fuck oprah we don't deal

with her anymore yeah hippa and then also no going on oprah yo is oprah still is oprah still popping i mean like she's got her own network but and like you and like is that something where you like like oh like middle-aged moms and women like there's billions of them signed up and giving her money and she's still like killing it and we just don't know it because it's the furthest thing from us or is it like i would because like i mean i have not heard her name in like it feels like a decade no you know also she popped up and did that interview with like megan markle and like that was oh yeah i think giselle's going on i think yes yeah she did she did harry megan markle did brady so did so she does she have like a new show that she's

doing only like she doesn't do like the oprah winfrey show anymore. Yeah, it's the Oprah show on the Oprah Network. And the Oprah Network you have to pay for, right? You can't just watch that. I think it usually takes place in her backyard garden, if I can remember the scenery from Brady. That bitch has so much money, man. It is. It's a lot. Give me Oprah's 2022 net worth.

I can't even. It's one of those things. It's kind of like Jenna Marbles, where it's like, I think that's low way, dude. I think that's what she made in 2022, bro. It's one of those things where it's like Oprah's a quarter of my boy, Bob craft.

You just realize how much, uh, space there is in the world to like make money and shit. You know what I mean? Like, it's like, I haven't really heard Oprah's name except for a couple of interviews there. And those are big.

I'm not saying she's like not around, but like, you know, I almost liked that. No, I only come out of retirement for like the big ones. Yeah. Yeah.

But there's, if someone leaves the Royal family, I'll do it. I'll talk. Otherwise. Yeah. If something for the first time in history happens, then I'm there.

Yeah. Everything else. I fucking heard. Fucking Oprah. Wait, Jenny, you do what now? You don'tny you do what now you don't you don't you don't give your kids any medicine come on down but like between uh youtubers and streamers

and fucking the oprah's of the world and it's just like there are there are people who are fucking millionaire jeffree star when he was before he got canceled yo so i don't really know who he is he was making i thought everyone was being like crazy offensive he when he was before he got canceled yo so i don't really know who he is he was making i thought everyone was being like crazy offensive he so he's a he yeah okay yeah yeah yeah he's he made he was making a hundred million dollars a year really a year that's what i'm saying it used to be if you were famous you were famous yeah now you can be everyone's famous in their own circle and then right which is a great way to be famous easy yeah yeah yeah it's almost like kind of better this way i don't know it's better but it's worse the world fucking knew you and then you know what it was those people were entitled assholes

but rightfully so because like the fucking world knew them now it's like okay you make some money but i don't know the fuck you are yeah so i don't give a shit that you're a streamer like shut your mouth and stop causing a scene in public or stop you know whatever it is it's like fame used to mean something and then you almost had the right to like be a dickhead because it was like yeah that's fucking

John Wayne or some shit like John Wayne let him go beat that Indian woman you do it all to John Wayne back at the Oscars go kick the shit out of her people don't know that story and it's like google it google John Wayne Indian woman but you know like

don't say Native American it would piss off John Wayne's dead body if I can shoehorn in an awful segue here because I just want to talk about something there's also like we've actually talked about it before so we can kind of

extend it, where how like the blacklist, there are like those CBS shows where I'm watching Lone Star 911 Lone Star 911, whatever the fuck it is yeah, they put out like 24 episodes a year and they do I'm watching Lone Star 9-1-1. Lone Star 9-1-1. Whatever the fuck it is. Yeah, they put out like 24 episodes a year, and they do like 20 seasons. But they must.

I've never Googled what any of their net worths are. They must have crazy net worths. Because it's like, oh, I'm on one of the biggest shows on television, and I can just go anywhere because no one knows me. Right. Somehow, no one who watches those shows exists in the world. Actually is out in the world. They're all in their house. It's like people who watch avatars yeah yes yeah money and everyone talks about no one

i've never met a person who's not never um but uh you're all about to be the person who is currently watching the new season of criminal minds when i tell you it's the biggest piece of shit all it is i was up till four o'clock i don watching it. I don't know, but I will challenge you with Lone Star 9-1-1. Really? I will. Okay, so let me tell you this. It's actually so much to say. First of all, we got one.

Score one for the good guys. White men. Rephrase? It's just my team. It's my team. I don't know. It's the good the good you root for who you root for and my daddy's always saying it's good guys versus bad guys i before i was the bad guy he was the good guy um but anyway yeah the good guys got one because this show i've never said this about a

show i've never even thought it but like it is impossibly woke which isn't a word anyone uses but like everyone is either bisexual or it's like non-gender i'm definitely gonna beat you on or lone star 911 is the king of that really it's you're saying criminal minds doesn't do that or it does okay yeah yeah okay everyone is lone star 911 rob low is a captain of a of a firehouse that got wiped out at 9-11. Okay. His son is a gay drug addict. His son in the first episode was about to propose to his

boyfriend and his boyfriend dumped him. So he tries to swallow a bottle of pills and kill himself. As that's happening, a fire texas who just had a horrible explosion wipe out their firehouse comes down to him and says we need you to rebuild our community and rebuild our firehouse and you've done that before so we want to sign you as a free agent i don't know if that's a thing that happens in the world of firefighting but maybe it does rob low being like i need i need to protect my son we need to get out of here and change pace whatever we're gonna go we're gonna go to fire to texas and do this he proceeds to build a firehouse it is a indian woman a um trans man

a uh latino who like can't make the force but like because he like can't read and they're gonna like help him learn to read to make help him make the team and then they have one leftover who didn't die in the firefight, so he's like the white hit. This is the guy from Staten Island. Lava Tyler is the captain of the paramedics team that's in there whose sister is missing for the last three years, and she is also running a little side investigation to try to find her dead sister.

And she has power over rob low the captain because in texas the paramedics are bigger than the firefighters so the woman is actually the top and then there's rob low the gay drug addict the trans man the indian woman uh the the latino guy it like every storyline is like every buzzword jammed into it. It's 100%. But I'm like, what's going to happen next? It did. I literally threw this one up until 4 a.m. Hulu played it. It just played.

I watched The Accused, which I liked, and then there was only two episodes. It ended, and they just fed me that. And all of a sudden, I noticed like two hours and 45 minutes later, I was like, what's going to happen next? Every time. Oh, every rescue, by the way,

is like they're slicing throats open so people can breathe cutting open lungs to expel the blood you know like uh there was an episode where everybody was eating uh um what's it mercury was in their in their food so they were jumping off the balconies of their office like great everything's amazing it's like it's like they just they just know the formula for like dumb people who are sitting at home just like another one another one but yeah it's i mean it's so it just end with a hook i can't go to bed now like yeah oh totally oh that that's they they don't um they don't run the um credits at the end they just like go to the next oh see i you sneaky motherfucker i'm on paramount plus which is the exact opposite which is a 30 second

pause i gotta keep my control next to me usually you just let it run five seconds i'll wait yeah You sneaky motherfucker. I'm on Paramount Plus, which is the exact opposite, which is a 30-second pause. I got to keep my control next to me. Usually, you just let it run five seconds. I'll wait. I got to keep it next to me and take off. But one, I should clarify what I meant by why the good guys got one, is forever, and rightfully so, people have been calling for representation.

Yep. And there's been one mark left unchecked. There's been no representation. And it's been left to one race, one group of people to carry the fucking cause here. Serial killers on TV shows. Yeah. White men. Always.

Always just white men. Do we get a non-white serial killer? Oh, we got, yeah, with different genders. Black, white, Asian, Mexican. We got all kinds of weird stuff happening. Finally, it's not just us. Now, in reality, it is just us.

If you were to make a real show, it would just be white males. There was no reason to put it back. The statistics were accurate. It was 100%. Are you telling me I can get an Asian female serial killer? Yeah, there was. What episode? I can't remember what there serial killer. Yeah, there was. What episode? There were not. I can't remember what they were.

I actually wrote down what I wrote down what one of them was. I want to Eskimo female Eskimo serial killer. But you realize no one was ever saying like, this isn't good. There's other people out there. No, no, no. But the show itself, I'll just say uh because i i tweeted i was like i can't describe how bad it is yeah and then i was like wait yes i can matt saracen runs a coast to coast technologically advanced serial killer network it's i'm on episode nine serial killer

killer network or catching network don't kill it he's the killer he's the killer network or catching network? No, killer. He's the killer. He's the killer. Oh. But he also, like, he, like, has, like, secret codes with other people and boxes hidden in different parts of the country. Naturally. Who are killers. But the second episode, dude, when I tell you it was the most uncomfortable I've been, do you know what a bull is? Like, the sexual kind of bull?

Like, it is. I've seen the phrase around it. I don't know what it means. I had a good idea. It meant like a big guy fucking a wife while someone watches. Exactly what it is. You're the cook. He's the bull.

100%. Right. In the second episode, there's a guy killing bulls. And so the FBI is continually having regular conversations with cuck husbands asking about their bulls and they say bull so many times. Just start

saying guy. Just start saying was that the guy fucking her? Is that the bull fucking the cuck? It was so goddamn funny. It got to a point where it was uncomfortable. I was like 40 minutes in. Like, listen here, Joe Mendiga.

You're going to have to stop saying bull. I can't keep hearing you talk about fucking bulls. But all I kept saying was bulls. And I'm going to keep saying bulls. I'm trying to drive home just how often they said bull. It's not even near as much as I'm saying bull. It was a crazy amount of bull. It's like the one word they're allowed to say.

Yeah. Like everything else you can't say on it. So they're just squeezing it in. It's like when Sonny did cream pie and they said cream pie like 50,000 times. No, this is season 16, 17. But it's on Paramount Plus, not on CBS. Oh, so you can let it rip. So they're dropping fucks now.

Really? I don't think you can say bull that many times on CBS. Oh, so you can let her in. So they're dropping fucks now. Really? I don't think you can say bull that many times on broadcast. Stop this shit. They don't overswear unless it's bull. But, yeah, they've dropped a couple fucks on me. There's a couple shits and stuff like that. But it's terrible. I can't wait for the episode Thursday night.

I mean, I'm going to watch hundreds of episodes of this Rob Lowe show. Oh, Rob Lowe is suffering from cancer. Of course. He's fighting cancer. Secretly fighting cancer. He, one of the most, maybe, I can't tell if it's one of the silliest or most realistic things I've ever seen on television. He gets cancer. They start talking about different treatments.

And there's one where he will keep his hair. And he's like, we're going with that one. Dude, that's crazy. Like no chemo. It's like something else. And he's like, well, that's what we're doing then. I was like, fuck yeah. Give me like a 10% chance of life, but I keep my hair.

We're doing that one. The exact episode I was just talking about. What this person is doing to the bulls is they paralyze them. And this guy's a bull himself. So he's a former bull. And now he's on the bull rampage. And so he's paralyzing people with a paralytic. And then he cuts their spine open.

It's actually really fucked. All the episodes are so fucked. So fucked. But he has them on a chiropractor's table, and he has them, they're conscious, they're just paralyzed, and he has them cut open with their backs out. And he just gives them a choice. He gives them an offer.

He says, I'm about to sever your spinal cord. You can either live as a quadriplegic, or do you want me to kill you? And everyone chooses kill me. I feel like one out of four would go, I don't know, man. I'll take the cash on the table.

What if there's some new experimental drug? I just would like to see what has to happen. He has to fucking push him out of his house in a wheelchair? Yeah, and then he's just like, hey, I'm a quadriplegic. That guy tried to kill me. Yeah, exactly. You get found out pretty quick if you offer that option.

Is he in a mask or anything? Nope. Yeah. Well, that sounds about right. It was a pretty big hole in the show. I think one of these people. Bro, the Mercury episode of Lone Star 911. These people are at a corporate lunch.

And all of a sudden, this woman takes her knife and just starts jamming it into her forearms. Just ripping her fucking arms apart. And they're like, what's going on? And she gets up and she headbutts this glass window. Shatters. They're almost in like a mall. It's like a building but it looks like a mall.

And then she throws herself off the balcony. And then another guy is seen scratching like through his neck. Another one starts like ripping their face off the balcony. And then another guy is seen scratching through his neck. Another one starts ripping their face off. Jesus. And Liv Tyler gets on the scene. She goes, this is Mad Hatter's disease from the 1700s. Is there any mercury in the area?

And the other firefighter starts going through the people who are not doing anything. He's like, what did you have for lunch? And he's like, oh, I brought mine from home. What did you have for lunch? Oh, I'm on a cleanse. I'm not eating. And He's like, what'd you have for lunch? And he's like, oh, I brought mine from home. What'd you have for lunch? Oh, I'm on a cleanse. I'm not eating. And he's like, it's the lunch. They start to go through who catered the lunch.

They open up a sandwich. There is just a puddle of mercury, like the gray silver mercury. They go, we found it. They go, they order from the place that delivered the food. They order it to to the police department. The guy shows up, and they're like, you're under arrest.

And he's like, you fucking delivered this food. Why'd you do it? He goes, they never tipped me. Poisoned a whole bunch of people with mercury. Gave them Mad Hatter's disease. They all decided to commit mass suicide like zombies because they were eating mercury lunch. Amazing. It's fucking amazing television.

It's top-notch TV. We've got another plane breakup. Shout out to Kelly Keegs. Didn't go quite the same. Girl got broken up with on a plane and went absolutely ape shit. Really? And was just screaming her fucking head off and i'd venture to guess that the kelly keegs plane breakup is the outlier and that if other like most girls get

broken up broken up with on a plane are gonna go absolutely fucking berserk i uh can you pull that up as the the girl's screaming she's just like howling in the aisles um i guess this kind of is a who's the big who's the bigger asshole uh the person who like the guy who breaks up with the girl on the plane or the girl who like cannot control herself after being broken up with on a plane because i gotta be honest yeah yeah yeah yeah um you know, you can't really do that in public. Certainly not on a plane, but bro, you got to wait a couple more hours and break up with her on the ground.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, anyone who's acting like that is the asshole, but this is a year. Both. Yeah. Both.

But like that guy knows who, actually I'm coming back around though, because like people who act like that deserve to get dumped. That girl does that kind of shit all the time and other things, so he's like, I can't anymore. But if you know that about your girl, for the safety of yourself and others around you on this airplane, you gotta wait till you hit ground.

Yeah, you gotta wait till you hit ground so you don't ground in Albuquerque. You might kill a whole fucking plane of people here. Or even if you're not making it to your fucking destination. Right, right, right. We're going to take it down. There's a crazy plane.

We have this unruly ghoul. I mean, that is, it's, I can't imagine how, I guess I can, like, I've been in breakup situations where it's like a running back. You just got to hit the hole. Yeah. Like the opportunity presents itself and you're like, it's now or never. I got one second of courage. I don't want to be with you anymore.

You know? And you're just like, whatever conversation was happening, he wanted out of this relationship so bad. He saw the opportunity. It's like we're 30,000 feet. We got five more hours, but if I don't say it now, I'm never going to say it.

And I got to do it. Sorry, guys. I'm breaking up with you. I actually, I want you back. The rom-com with Jenny Slate and Charlie Day and Scott Eastwood and someone else involved who I don't know. But those are the big players. And when Charlie gets dumped, like right at the beginning of the movie. It's exactly that. someone else involved who i don't know but those are the big players um and um when charlie gets dumped like right at the beginning of the movie it's exactly that we're like they're at a party

and he's like babe what's wrong like they're like kids party it's like what's the matter like why are you like no it's nothing i'm fine he's like no like what's the matter i'm fine no you're clearly something's wrong i want to break up with you and i was like i was like that's how you do it yeah that's the way to do it you just gotta and then honestly it's actually that scene is exactly this and then it ends crazy with charlie singing to her nephew through tears happy birthday a part of me was thinking like you can't do that you have to be more responsible but part of me you know at some point in your life you got to put number one first and you knowarily, it's like, there's 200 people here that I've got to worry about. Nope.

I've got to take the opportunity to break up with this fucking psychopath. But I imagine the Kelly Keegs report on that one. She's lost her fucking mind. She's now strangling people to death with her bare hands. What do you do? I mean, you probably have to duct tape that girl to her seat, right? I honestly think you probably land a plane. But, like, yeah.

I think you're allowed to, like, bonk her on the head with, like, a ratchet. Like, bonk. Just hit her in the head with a wrench and knock her out. In my criminal mind's view, I've seen a lot of bonks happen. Yeah, where they just, like, slump. And I think, in reality, you hit someone in the head with something, and they just, like, they're bleeding profusely like slumping i think in reality you hit someone in the head with something and they just like they're bleeding i would be so terrified to ever hit someone right i cracked the candle off my buddy's head once a candle a candle and he was like what the fuck so i let him do it to me i would if there was anything stronger i

would have went down yeah well i mean they released the paul pelosi video he went he went like he he went he went yeah he went down like somebody turned off the power. Yeah. Yeah. But also, I'm surprised it didn't give more damage. Right. Like, I would think if you get hit in the head with a hammer to the point that you're

unconscious, it's like through your skull and into your brain. Yeah. Because it's also like a small, like, I think if you get hit with a WWF chair, I could see you being knocked out because it's like a flat surface right but a fucking anything with a point like a wrench or a bat or a golf club or something i would yeah i would know all that stuff i would never in like even if my life was in danger i would be scared you think if you hit someone in the like i think if you hit someone in the head with a bat they would die right but maybe not've also been hit in the head with a bat.

What did Nick do in his fucking Midwest days? I was playing catcher and a kid swung. Oh, you had a helmet on? No. No, we were just playing pickup softball and a kid swung a bat, let go of it. It came spiraling. Smoked me in the head. I had a fucking welt. But you didn't knock out?

Didn't break the skin? No, I held it together until I got home and then I cried like a little baby. It's better than crying on the field or crying on baseball. I've done the chain, that lock story. I've done... I've done poles.

But never like... Like ski poles? Like big poles. Like PVC pipes? I've been whacking one of those and the other person spinning in a circle real fast. I'm trying to think of the hardest hit I've ever taken in the head. Also, both those incidents, same culprit. I think I've only ever been punched.

I think a fist. Or, yeah, I don't think I've ever like really taken a weapon to the head. Well, I don't know. Well, Paul, Paul Pelosi was, that was wacky,

man. I thought that video was going to like prove one, one side, right. You know, you had the crazy, like crazy theories about him being gay and it was his boyfriend and like,

and it was just like, now I'm more confused. They opened it, opened the door. What is the theory behind it? His gay boyfriend and it was just like, now I'm more confused. They opened the door. What is the theory behind it's his gay boyfriend? It was just that he was in the house and Paul Pelosi had no pants on and they were already like

together in the house. So this is why. Because the police opened the door and it's Paul Pelosi. He's got a drink and a hand, of course. He's got no pants on. And him and the intruder are holding the same hammer together.

He's got a hammer in one hand and a drink in the other. And he's like... How did he open the door? Yeah, I guess maybe the other guy did. I don't know. And he's like... At no point do they think, let go of the other guy did. I don't know. And he's like... At no point do they think, let go of the hammer. Either of them.

Well, so I think he was holding the hammer like... It seems like some fucking... What's his name? The dude with the noose around his neck still. Just small... Yeah, so that's what a lot of people are kind of like, what the fuck? This guy was just in your house already.

But then there's a video like a doorbell ring video of like this guy breaking into the house there's a 911 call that's even weirder where he's like hello this is paul pelosi there's someone in my house and they're like is it an intruder or something and he's like oh they're like do you know him and he's like no i don't but this is someone calling my house right now and and they're like do you like are you in danger and he's kind of just very calm and he's like i'm nancy pelosi's husband though like i'd like you to come so and then they they both have their hands on the fucking hammer the police open the door and they're like is that a hammer and they're like what's going on

here like drop the hammer and then the guy like wiggles it away just bonks on the head and he collapses to the ground and the police taser him and it was just like what the fuck just happened man like why was he already in the house why was it not like that's bad you answer the door in front of the police badass he said he was said he was like, I was waiting for Nancy. That was his thing. Paul was like, this man says he's here to attack my wife, but she's gone for a couple days, so I don't know what's going to happen now. And the dispatch is like, so do you need help? It was like the whole fucking thing was really, really weird.

And I was like, all right, the body cam's going to like, we'll figure it out. And then it just flew through gasoline on the fire. I like i don't know i don't think it'll ever guys like i was waiting for nancy sounds like paul came home took his pants off made himself a drink he was like who the fuck is this yeah yeah who amongst us hasn't been there yeah i guess some people said that that that dude was like known in their neighborhood like he's the crazy guy in the neighborhood so they knew of him but not who he was and then i could see if you're like holding that reeks to me of like we open the door for the police and it's like stay cool man stay cool like neither of us want to get in trouble here right but like but

i'm also not like going this hammer because you're gonna hit me with it and then it was just like bonk zap and that was it that's crazy that happened like that's a weird situation no doubt but like i wouldn't be like these guys are fucking gay someone yeah yeah well that's so dude i think elon musk has an issue like a public apology because like that right away he was like are we are we sure these guys weren't having a gay tryst gone wrong it was like what i guess that's a possibility if you're watching Criminal Minds, okay. I don't know, man. It seems fucking like we kind of jumped to conclusions.

A little jump to conclusions, Matt here, Elon. I was thinking about that last night as all like the, I guess, right-leaning or everyone who's right-leaning says they're not right-leaning kind of deal. All those fucking people were locking their Twitters. I was like, oh, man. If like all left people just started locking their Twitters, I was like, oh, man. If all left people just started locking their Twitters, they're like, they're fucking the kids again!

It would be so fast. You're deleting tweets. This is my proof that the Pizza Palace, no, that's a toy story. Whatever the pizza place. Pizza Gate. Pizza Gate. See, I told you.

They've been fucking kids. The last thing here I want to talk about. I'm going to say. Pizza Planet is Toy Story. Correction. 50-50. Nick was like, yeah, you're right. Nick was waiting for that.

I'm going to say that this like half, 50% falls under the Me Too Too movement. 50% are guys are assholes but the movement of girls filming at the gym and then picking out people in some instances total creeps you can see it they're staring they linger they're weird they They come over. They try to talk. That guy's weird. Trying to touch your weights. Weird. A lot of other instances, it's like you are at a public gym putting out a camera, putting on a display because you are fucking performing for the camera. And, like, a dude walks by and looks at you like, this is fucking weird. Yeah. And then that person gets put on blast as like a sexual deviant

fuck that yeah if that's gotta stop it's i'm actually surprised by the way uh i can't believe gyms just don't have a no phone policy you take your phone out of the gym you're fucking done yeah but i mean like come on listen to music no you have your pocket like but if your phone's out you're done like like it's it's a place where people are doing physical activity where some people dress like you know in a way like uh all it is is for you and your fucking tiktok to post a couple likes so you can be like look at me doing squats like every other fucking chick in the world you need you have to film that you and your fucking 300 followers you need to put that up And then when some guy walks by and his eyes just shoot down, it's a fucking problem. I don't know.

You got a fat ass. It's awesome. You know why you're at the gym? To fucking look super hot. And you did. So this guy just glanced at you. And now we're going to put this father of three fucking on blast to the internet. And again, if you're weird, you're touching, you're talking, you're lingering,

you're stalking, I'm not talking about those guys. I'm talking about the videos where it's just like, look what this guy did. And he legit just walks by and turns his head. Fuck that. I think every video that has ever come out of a gym is fake. I remember all the videos of people doing insane workouts.

Yeah, not the ones where the guy's riding a bike on a fucking whatever. No, those were silly. Those are maybe the worst ones. Yeah. But where it's just like dudes doing these crazy workouts where the fucking cable machine's bringing them back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Those were so popular that I believe Barstool Sports made an account

called Jim Hardo's, and I think 99.9% of the videos posted on that are fake and I think 99.9% of these are fake too. Meaning like you think it's a total setup like everyone's involved? No, no, no, no. Like you're trying to catch a guy. Like you're waiting for someone to walk by and it's like okay someone halfway glanced, fine. Totally. And you can do that like if

you cut a video where like they zoom in on someone's face and their eyes move like you can you can absolutely make someone look like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When they're really just like – first of all, yeah, maybe they are just glancing at you because you are hot or you are wearing little clothes. But I don't know. That's one of my favorite videos on the internet ever. Remember the guy with the eye tracker?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I will not for men everywhere. Fuck! Looked, the eye tracker. I will not for men everywhere. Fuck. Looked at the boobs instantly. But like, I just, you know, the,

the, like the desire. It's like, it's like if it happens, this is fucked up too. This girl was like, I'm using this machine when she just like, wasn't like gym videos.

Fuck yourself. Yeah. Dude, that's any sort of gym videos. And I like this guy. He's a big fucking dummy hardo, but he's like sort of gym videos and i like this guy he's a big fucking dummy hardo but he's like the the hero who's like fuck you people just go to the gym and do your fucking workout and shut up that is like that that one i just saw is insane but also as someone

who's done a couple supersets in their day nothing worse than when someone takes the other machine you're using like son of a, that ruined my whole fucking workout. You're super set. I hope that fucking machine falls apart and falls on you and you die doing your super set. I think anybody who asks to work in is awful. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're terrible. Anybody who is doing a super set and thinks that they get to have two machines equally awful.

No, you don't get it. Of course, I've never stopped someone from taking it. But you're just sitting there going, ah, motherfucker. Now it changes the whole workout. But bottom line, if you are in a gym and you are filming and you're doing anything other than just filming your form or yourself, and you put out anything else, you're a fucking asshole. Yeah. If you try to ruin some people at a gym.

Also, sometimes it's guys who are like, I'm sure that girl has been on that machine for extra long because she was trying to get the right video or whatever. This was the worst. They were making fun of this old guy for just karate kicking a bag. See, I saw that right away. That's not real.

Yeah. My boy's in khakis. Come on. Well, I could see an old guy just being like, I'm not even going to fucking. I can't do that. I don't know, man. That last little footwork there. I was going to say.

My boy might know what he's doing a little bit. I think so. I think that's an old guy who used to know how to throw hands and shit. Now he's like, I got to get my, you know, I got to throw some weight around. Guess what? My wife's dead. I got no one left to beat. It's tough day for you.

Bottom line, stop trying to take down people at the gym who you are perceiving to be some sort of fucking, you know, threat when it's just a guy walking by at the gym. I mean, if you're going to film that, people are going to be looking, bro. If you're filming your asshole at the gym, don't be surprised when a couple guys look. Anything more than that, I'm with you. But it's literally like your open ass cheeks. Come on. When I'm wearing that little clothes, I want you to be looking.

There's a reason. Amen. She was dressing for it. Girls, do not be intimidated by Whistlepig whiskey. This is for guys, this is for girls, this is for anybody who can legally drink, who wants a tasty cocktail, some quality whiskey,

and maybe a nice old-fashioned maple syrup whiskey. You can get in on it, too. I feel like a lot of people think whiskey is like a masculine thing, and I get it. I understand why. But I know plenty of girls who like to throw back some nice whiskey, whether it's neat on the rocks or in an old-fashioned Manhattan, whatever.

Girls, get in on it, especially if you are a KFC radio listener. If you're a chicken head, we expect you to have that commemorative bottle, the 10-year anniversary single-barrel Whistlepig. We expect you to buy the bundle, which is the Whistlepig bottle, along with the Whistlepig stopper, and then you can get the extra bundle, which is the bottle, the stopper, and

some maple syrup so that you can make the maple syrup old-fashioned. So guys, girls, young, old, I would say rich or poor, but I get it. Listen, if you're a college kid, you're on a budget, we know Whistlepig is of a higher price, but I will say, this bottle is special. It's commemorative.

This is what we call an investment. Exactly. It's like a beanie baby. What you're doing is you're investing in a bottle of whiskey that you can drink. That's close. Pokemon cards. Did you call it a Pokedex? Pokedex.

Pogs. Pogs. All the things you collected as a kid and thought they were going to get you rich, this is actually going to get you rich. This is limited edition. We've only sold one million bottles. So go to WhistlePigwhiskey.com use promo code GAMEDAY23 and you'll get 15% off

so think about it this way if you are on a budget every now and then you're going to either go on a date or have somebody over or have cocktails with a friend and every now and then you want it to be something nice, right? You're never going to get a discount on liquor.

They just don't do it. There's never like here's a nice bottle of liquor at a discount. Right now Whistlepig is offering that. So even if it's a little bit out of your range, now is the time to get it because it's the KFC Radio commemorative bottle and you can get 15% off. And you're just not going to get a discount on a high-quality liquor like that anywhere else. So go to WhistlePigWhiskey.com. Use promo code GAMEDAY23.

Get 15% off when you buy the KFC Radio Bundle that gets you the liquor, the maple syrup, and the Top Stopper. Jackie seems like a WhistlePig kind of gal. I love it. I feel like I could see you in a situation like there's situations where there's a bunch of guys drinking and one girl and I could see you being like yeah I'll drink whiskey with the boys

are you that girl or would you be like get me a spritzer please well if it's a whistle peg then I'll drink whiskey that's what's up how do you fucking produce and edit the podcast and don't talk into the mic how do you Fucking Produce and edit the podcast And don't talk into the mic Sorry

How do you do that? You know No no no I was trying to get it It's blocking her face So I'm trying to Shift it the other way Can't cover

Yeah yeah Can't cover the money maker Also Props to you For dumping them out As they say Thanks Yeah

I could've done better You know I think people were satisfied Immediately blocked your face again. Let's just figure out how to sit with the microphone. Well, I don't know what the angle is. I know, I'm just saying. Let's figure it out.

I think you can move your chair, too, if you want, instead of leaning your whole body over. What is going on? I don't know. How are you doing this? I get uncomfortable. Jackie said when she did her episode while we were away, if the What is going on? I don't know. How are you doing this? I get uncomfortable. Yeah, clearly. Jackie said when she did her episode while we were away,

if the YouTube video got 200 comments, she would dump her tits out. And she did. And I highly underestimated the coming togetherness. Girl, you could have said 2,000. They were going to reach it. The internet. The internet loves puppies and like tits. And that's, you could have said 2000. They were going to reach it. The internet loves puppies and tits. Can I say something about puppies real quick? I think there are too many in New York.

Puppies or tits? Puppies. Both of them are being honest. Dude, I was walking down the street the other day, and it was like I was in a puppy-ville. Well, you also gotta remember there's dog walkers who like

they all get like fucking 50 puppies but it wasn't like there was no multiple leash it was just everyone's dog and I was like

by the end I was like I get it too many dogs there's just a lot of dogs I'm jumping over puddles of piss here and there and all that shit

but anyway but so Jackie dumped him out and she went I think she's got herself a little brand here I think she's got herself A little brand here I think she's got Oh the toothbrush thing

Like toothbrush Toothbrush thirst traps Yeah well That was supposed to be Like an homage To the first one Yeah People were just like

Why are you always Brushing your teeth In selfies Oh my god They're so stupid It's called A callback And it's called

You know Yeah it's called That's very embarrassing It's called look at my rack and shut the fuck up. Why are you looking at the fucking toothbrush? No, I think it's actually a great. I think every time you do do it, if you choose to thirst trap, it should be like next time you're flossing and next time you are doing mouthwash. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what would be great?

A thirst trap. You know what? I don't think this has ever been done. Dental hygiene. A thirst trap while you're gargling mouthwash. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what would be great? A thirst trap. You know what? I don't think this has ever been done. Dental hygiene. A thirst trap while you're gargling mouthwash. Your tits are just like... Yeah, people would probably like that. That's the Frank Reynolds.

People would love that shit. But that's just getting into... Yeah. So, you know, we do appreciate it. Thank you. It doesn't go unnoticed. You're welcome. It's good for the brand.

It's something that it's like... Gets you followers. Yeah. Bumps up the show. Yeah. It didn't get... brand. It's something that it's like. Gets you followers. Yeah. Bumps up the show. Yeah. It didn't get. Yeah. Everybody wins.

Well, you know. It makes me be like. Only fit. Like I could be getting like a hundred bucks from that if I like, you know. Yeah. So it's. Yeah. We've talked about that all the time.

I know. Anyway, the only reason you're here is for your tits anyway. So no, you had a very funny video that you put out. Every time you make a video, it's funny. And I tell you to make more videos. It's just like it doesn't come naturally. I know. I don't want to force it because I want the organic-ness to stay.

I just can't get on a video and talk. It's so awkward. No, I completely understand. But you're both so wrong. You're both so stupid. You both can. You just don't. It's just I feel uncomfortable. I'm not good at it. I know you do. But no're both so wrong. You're both so stupid. You both can't. You just don't. It's just I feel uncomfortable.

I'm not good at it. I know you do. But no, that's not true. You do feel uncomfortable. You are not good at it. You are good at it. You are. I also, Jackie's editing seemed like it was so much.

I was like, Jesus, that must have taken forever. I mean, it doesn't. But I have to edit because it's like I say something and then I'll be talking. I'll just be like, who the fuck cares about this? Oh, so you were literally editing? I thought it was just, like, one of those, like, TikTok things where, like, you stop filming and start filming here again. No, no, I just, like, I'll go on Premiere because I'll be, like, I'll just cut everything I say. How have you bozos not realized that people care about all of this shit?

But, like, they don't, like, do they? All of it. They do. They do. Like, I'll be talking. I'll just be like, oh, my God. You're so fucking annoying. No, that's why. So it's a perfect paradox. It's, like, the person who realizes this and is like, shut up.

Nobody cares. If you're, like, you have the self-awareness. You're humble enough. You have an outlook on life that's like nobody fucking cares about these things that's who people want to hear from

you know the people who are like look at me let me talk it's like shut the fuck up the people who are like oh this is so embarrassing this is so awkward

I don't even want to be doing this it's like let me hear from that person a little more I don't know so you got to keep your edge while still making videos I just yeah

yeah I want to just like... But I feel like the girls were probably like... Yeah, the girls liked it. It was cute. Also, like, on one of the comments, like, on TikTok, like, one guy was like, all this, so you don't have to take, like, one pill in the morning, and all the girls, like, came together. Fucking

to send on them, like, the White Walkers. I saw, I got hit up by many girls being like, your girl Jackie is spitting. Oh, really? Because it hurts. Oh, my God. I did not know that.

It's so painful. Every single time. And one time they put it in wrong. And so I was literally like. Wait, do we know what we're talking about yet? Have we clarified? IUD. I got an IUD.

Jackie got an IUD in and made a video of it like right after. No, I know what we're talking about. I just want to make sure I'm listening. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't think we said it, but one time they put him wrong. And so I was, I was like,

trying not to pass out for 10 hours. I would like kind of pass out. Like, you know, I was like in pain, like I was gushing like blood or whatever. And I was like, this feels wrong,

but they were like, no, it's right. And I was like, and I was like literally like so nauseous, like, like taking like nausea pills, like not trying to throw up and everything.

And I was in so much pain and then I was like, this isn't right. I go back like, there was like 10 hours of that where I'm just like, this doesn't feel right. I go back and be like,

ooh. Whoops, sorry. That is upside down. You should be able to sue those motherfuckers. And it was digging into my uterus. So then I was like,

for this one. That hurt my penis for some reason. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Think about it. We had to fucking shove something in my dick. Yeah, anyways. So then like this one, I was like was like dreading so that i've told you guys about getting

the iud and like you didn't know whatever and i and i weighed it like i just risked it for like eight months because i was like i don't want to get it oh wait this is the iud from back at whistle pig from back at whistle pig i just never got it because i couldn't man up woman woman up i didn't realize this was the same one i thought you'd been to the gynecologist no but you made appointments didn't you i made appointments but there's like 50 points i don't even want to get into it it's like i also like i started up going with fake gynecologists one of my asthma clearly if they have tampons and they're like what and i was like what what do you mean i was like can i have a tampon they're like oh

i don't think we have them here. I was like, what? You were going to call? It was ridiculous. But it was just like, I went there like five times, and you have to get a pap smear, and then you have to like re-get the pap smear. I'll tell you what, man. Pussies are a disaster. It sounds like being a chick is a nightmare.

A fucking nightmare. Anyways, but it's an awful experience. But now you're good, or now you don't have one? No, I have one. And it's just okay? It's in. It feels better, but it's an awful experience. But now you're good or now you don't have one? No, I have one. And it's just okay? It's in. It feels better or it still sucks? It feels better, but you're still bleeding.

It does seem crazy that it's just like your body's probably going to reject that shit. Yeah, I know. It's like you're putting a foreign object in your body. It's probably like, no, dude. Last year, or last time I got it, I bled for a whole year straight. And you're spotting, but it's just like, you just have to like, what did you just say to me? Dude,

dude, fucking girls should be complaining more about this. And you can't, and it's not like enough. This is why they always cheer at shows. Like whenever you mention IUDs, we get the cheer. Yeah.

Yeah. You have to go through it. It's like, and it gets me so mad at like the male race. It's like, why do I have to do this? And I have to bleed for a full year. And like, you just, you can't even put a tampon in.

So just all of your underwear is ruined. How are you alive? You can't put a tampon in if you have an IUD? You can, but like you're bleeding. Like it's like two drops a day. Not just like two drops a day, but like you'll be like, so for a full year, like there's always, I was just profusely like dripping. And you know what? Profusely dripping is a phrase I didn't want to hear.

Heavens. The hormones from the pill fuck you up, so you don't want that? Yeah. This one's, like, small hormones. And what about the patch? The patch, like, that... I don't think I would trust that. People... You put a patch on it and just trust that it stops your baby maker?

I'd be like, I don't know about that. I guess it's the same thing as a pill. You just trust that it works, but... The patch is, i don't know about that i guess the same thing as a pill you just trust that it works the patch is like the thing in your arm apparently like i just heard like you gain like a lot of weight what about the shot the shot i've heard weird things from that like there's weird things from everything so i know well it's the it's literally the most unnatural thing you're doing to your body it's just like i i was off it for so long and like i finally felt like my hormones were balanced. So I wanted, obviously, minimal hormones. But, of course, it's a pipe dream, not having to be pumped with hormones all the fucking time.

You could use condoms. What? I know. And you know what? I've been – I love a condom. I love a condom. But that's just not – Jackie loves a condom.

You're that Trojan, direct, sponsored girl. It's just easy. What about a you're that Trojan direct sponsor your girl it's just like easy what about a little pull and pray what's that pull and pray yeah

also a great method like three stars right John three stars on the five star scale yeah did you just come up

with pull and pray or is that a thing no that's a thing pull and pray yeah three stars is a little much but but it's okay. It's worked almost all the time for me. But the thing that got me was the doctor telling you to get drunk.

Oh, yeah. I was like, I don't think you could do that. I don't think you could do that at all. But it helped. It was immediate. Well, no kidding. You don't have to be a that. I don't think you could do that at all. But it helped. It was immediate. Well, no kidding. You don't have to be a doctor to say that getting drunk will numb your pain. But I think this gynecologist is officially fake.

They don't have tampons, and they prescribe wine. Yeah. It's not really... It's like... How'd you find this person? Just like Google? Yeah. It was Google.

Is this the same doctor that you end up in queens every time you try to go to it that's your nose doctor no that's my nose doctor i can't stop doing that um yeah that that it's funny because i also had a therapist who was 1000 under the table i had to like i picked it was cash it was all cash and he didn't say any kind of anything anything useful at all so my friends are like, why are we being fine these doctors? They'd just be like, tell me, how does that feel?

How does that make you feel? Yeah. So, honestly, I genuinely mean this from the bottom of my heart. I thank every girl who takes care of birth control.

Yeah. It's like, the problem is, it's your cross to bear because if guys had to do it, we just wouldn't. Yeah. Because I cannot afford a flight to Spain.

You'll never see me again. Oh, oh. I'm down. Yeah, I don't know. We would either just have abortions or not fuck or I don't know, but we just wouldn't do that.

I know that. The first day that shit made me feel bad, I'd be like, nope. Not doing this. One day of side effects. Not doing this. It makes me really, really hate you guys. A lot. If there was a pill and there wasn't bad

side effects, I would do it. I'm just saying I wouldn't mind actually if it was like, you're killing my sperm. I'd be like, okay, fine. Your eggs are good. My sperm's dead. Fine.

One or the other. I just, I can't deal with it. Like if I was bleeding out of my dick, I would be like, we're not doing this. Yeah. If I ever used the phrase spotting, I'd be like, I'm out. Inherently. This is where you guys get screwed. Inherently, that body part already bleeds

our dicks don't bleed so all of a sudden if it starts to bleed something is catastrophically wrong whereas yours it's like well this kind of happens anyway my sister always says your side effects the side effects have to be like 50% worse than the

regular and for you guys it's nothing but for us everything's better than pregnancy. Like, I didn't explain that well, but, like... You lost me there. But, yeah, it's whatever... However bad the side effects is, being pregnant's worse. So it's, like, our side effects can be, like,

literally everything up to pregnancy, whereas, like, you guys, it's like, if you have a headache from the period, you're like, oh, my God. Yeah, we're not doing that. Yep, totally. I have a migraine. Or, I don't know, you, you know, you hookers can just stop fucking guys.

Okay. Would you like that? Would you guys like that? Everybody go follow Jackie and watch her videos. Wiggle! All right, let's get into our voicemails. What do we got? What's up, gang?

Greetings from Ontario. I was at a wedding this weekend with a bunch of friends from university, and I realized something that I had forgotten, and that is that I am a butt smacker. I'll smack your butt on the dance floor. I'll smack your butt on my way to the bar. Just a quick little whoop. So I just need to know, is anyone else a butt smacker?

And if you're not, how do we feel about a little butt smack? I don't think guys beat butt smacks. I was going to say, I'm an absolute butt smacker. This is... I mean, I don't really smack girl ass, but yeah, I'll smack my boy in the ass all the time.

You don't smack girl ass? You don't smack boy ass? Yeah. You better not smack girl ass it was like i like in the exact situation she's talking about like my buddy's leaving i get out of here um yeah yeah i mean i've had i've had i've had my body parts touched by you quite a bit front smacks back smacks the whole They have a handsy gentleman. Yeah. The, uh... A handsy gentleman.

That sounds like a brand name. Like, handsy gentleman. Only the finest from handsy gentlemen. They're wearing, like, a fucking monocle and a robe. I think that... Handsy gentleman. I think that is the real definition of, like, locker room talk. Like, locker room talk isn't even fucking locker room talk.

It's locker room touch. It's locker room fucking touch. It's like, eh, fucking smack. Pow, pow, pow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My closest friends, I'll give you a kiss. I'll grab your ass. I'll put my fingers up your ass.

I'll grab your balls. I think that smack in particular, that is, at least to me, and that's why I do it, I think. It's a mode of confidence. It's like some real camaraderie shit. That's what I did. But I also give it to like, you know, if you're like cutting up the dance floor, you're doing something good. You're like, you know what I mean?

It's like an attaboy. Yeah, that's what I mean. Yeah, yeah. It's a confidence builder. Someone sitting there and smacking everyone in the ass. Yeah, good game, good game, good game. Now, as a guy, you can do it to a guy. As a girl, you can do it to anybody.

As a guy, you can't do it to a girl. No. I mean, like, I have, I guess, I would say I have, like, three good friends. No, you can't, though, because other people, your friend might be okay, but other people are like, what just happened? I don't, I don't. You slap a girl on the ass in public?

Yeah. People are questioning. I don't think so. What? If I'm just, like, hanging out with a girl and I grab her ass? Like, that's the, or I've been singing this bar with a girl for, I mean, I do it to, like, girlfriends all the time. Yeah. I'm standing at a bar and I grab her ass? I've been singing this bar with a girl and I do it to girlfriends all the time. I'm standing at a bar and I grab their ass. I guess, but if you're like... No one's ever hit me for it.

If it's like what we're talking about here... I'm not talking about it. I'm very obvious with it. I'm not trying to be a sneaky touch. Yeah, I guess so. It's pretty clear we know each other. I think we're talking more about not the girl or the person you're with. The people you're partying with. you're at a if you're at a wedding and someone and you're dancing with people and you slap a girl's ass it's gonna be a problem i don't think

so i i again it's it's very clear we know each other well all right i i think we're talking about different things then i i think like she's like i think she's honest she's talking about like fucking like hey attaboy ass touches yeah but i don't think she's, like... I think she's honest. She's talking about, like, fucking, like, hey, attaboy, ass touches. Yeah, but I don't think she's doing it with, like, her best friends. Because then it's... Nobody cares about that. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I don't know about that. I wouldn't do it to a stranger.

Yeah, I think it's, like, when you're in, like, the scene, and it's, like... Like, I don't think anybody cares what you do to, like, your girlfriend or your boyfriend. That wouldn't even be a question. Yeah. But if it's, like, if there's not... If it's not, like like anything outside of that. Yeah. But I'm picturing like on a dance floor, like I'm backing it up.

Someone's slapping my ass. We switch. We stop slapping their ass. Like that's the kind of ass touching I'm talking about. Yeah. I don't know. Bro, I ain't been to the kind of weddings you've been to if that's not allowed. That's a crazy common move.

Yeah. If it's not being like reciprocated at all. Yeah. No. Yeah. That's not allowed. That's a crazy common move. Yeah. If it's not being reciprocated at all. Yeah. No. Yeah. That's. Yeah. You can't just be the butt toucher.

No. No. Like she is. She's like, I'm an ass slapper. I thought she was talking about her friends. No. I mean, I don't think there would be a question if it was like, am I allowed to goof around my friends?

I feel like it's more like, in the heat of the moment, I will hit an ass. And I think you can, like, I think a girl could do that to a, if you're at a wedding. Oh, you do that, I'll bend over right away. Right. That's pretty obvious. Right. Like, a girl at a wedding or a bar could be like, ow, and smack a guy's ass, and it's fine.

A guy could do that to a guy. If a guy did that to a girl, you're going to jail. Yeah, yeah, and smack a guy's ass, and it's fine. A guy could do that to a guy. If a guy did that to a girl, you're going to jail. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you just got to pick your receivers accordingly. Miss Ontario, you can do it to fucking anybody. I think no one, I think no guy, obviously, I don't think would hate. Actually, a girl to another girl could be a problem, too. You could, like, a drunk girl like a drunk girl Be like Some bitch big

Stop fucking touching me Bro I've had I've had my dick Fucking Work like that I told you this Dude it was like I was guest bartending

At like a charity event And There was the It was like It was a charity event It was like My friend was running the marathon And

I was I like tweeted out Like I'll be guest bartending at this raising i mean yes i guess it's literally charity but yeah it's not a charity event um and some stoolies came and it was like uh it was like a married couple it was like a husband and wife and they're like can we just get a picture and i was like yeah of course i came out from behind the bar. And she just started going. Like a literal washboard. Just right on my piece.

And I was like. It's for charity. What are you going to do? It's for charity. You can fucking molest me. God damn it. It was honestly even bigger than the for charity thing. They listen to my podcast. Some fucking people it is it is uh i belong to you i can't i can't afford to lose two listeners so it is what it is

we're gonna work on saying no whether it's the the dance floor rapist or the or the uh the squatters in your home we're're going to learn to say no. All right. We only got one voicemail today. That means you guys got to hit the voicemail line. Send in your videos. You can put your face on it if you want. You don't have to put your face on it if you don't want.

You can just film the wall or the ground while you give us your questions. So we need you guys to fill it up. Ask us your questions. Tell us your stories. You can catch it all on the – you can find the link on the social media, any social media for KFC Radio, at KFC Radio. In place, we are talking about some of the viral debates going on on the internet right now.

First, the red pill, blue pill of showering in the morning or showering at night. The meme says people with common sense, and it's a hand grabbing the red pill, meaning showering at night. I can't think of anything more incorrect than this. I think you don't shower in the morning. You are legitimately a child. That is that is childish behavior. Like my kids don't have to

shower in the morning when they go to work when they go to school because they're five if you go if you leave the house straight from your bed without showering you're disgusting i i completely agree with that i i think that i know i'm doesn't preclude you from a night shower i'll say i'm on both guys but i will shower at night mostly for uh I just want to. Like if I want to. Like I'm cold. I'm sick. Or I just want. Like I don't feel like I need to.

And then I do nothing but go to bed. And then I will shower again. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like I will not be like, oh, I showered last night before I went to sleep. I can go without it. Every day you leave the house to go to work or school, as an adult, you have to take a shower. Period. Stop.

End of debate and the meme the people who are saying that the like oh you don't want to wash the city off you whatever i don't care to wash the city off me if i if i work out i will shower again at night obviously um but they don't understand that your bed is fucking more dirty than this goddamn city is like your your bed is dirtier than the subway your bed is dirt more dirty than this goddamn city is. It's all gross. Your bed is dirtier than the subway. Your bed is dirtier than this fucking office. Totally.

And I don't... When it's like wash the city off you, what do you think I'm doing? You think I'm traipsing around New York every day? Am I rubbing my arms on the subway fucking walls and rolling on the ground? I walk 10 blocks to work. I walk 10 blocks home. That's what I do every day. I also have clothes on.

I wash my clothes that have the city have clothes on. I wash my clothes. I have the city all over it. Right. I wash my hands. I don't need to get in the shower and scrub my body. I've been doing a lot of hand washing lately. Good. Eh.

I don't know if I'm getting older. I wash my hands. You know when the water is almost dirty? You know what I mean? No. Oh, man. Like, my hands were, like, I could see. Like, I was, like, washing off, like, grime.

And I was, like, oh, my God. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. I thought you said when the water feels dirty. Like, it has, like, grit to it. Usually when the water is black coming off. Yes, yes, yes. Of course. And it's not like your hands look like that.

But you start rubbing and the water looks like that. And you're, like, oh, shit. Yeah. But that's your hands, which are touching that, but you start rubbing and the water looks like that and you're like, oh shit. Yeah. But that's your hands, which are touching things and doorknobs and people like my chest, my legs, my back. None of that is, the city's not touching that. No. You know what?

The hand soap I've been meaning to bring up. What's the best hand soap in the world? Dial? Nah. I don't know. I don't know the brands just grab the soaps meyers go bro meyers has been meyers like the patrick mahomes meyers the one like that bottle that has that the rapper like the you'll recognize it yeah yeah yeah i know i know the rapper the

meyers yeah that's got some fucking grit to her yeah that's got some fucking you feel like you're washing your hands nature's inspired oh it's it's a it's got some fucking, you feel like you're washing your hands when you're using this part. It's a favorite with millennials, you little fucking bitch. Look, it says favorite with millennials. I'm a millennial. I like what millennials like. This soap is in the fucking game. That's for your

hands, right? If you're talking... Could you find out if they make a body soap Cause That probably gets you real nice Um Yeah I Dude I

I don't know if it's just because Like my I see it a lot more now I don't know if it's cause like It's what's in my parents house And it's in my apartment Body wash But the

Oh yeah Lavender too Oh nope nevermind not that Why not Lavender too much estrogen in it, bro. Get your titty. Get your titty. I already almost got a titty.

I can't be using lavender. I love a good lavender scent. I hate, like, rosemary. I hate. It is, like, a thing. Like, you shouldn't use too much lavender. Who says that? Andrew Tate?

Joe Rogan? It was, like, one of those things I read one time that it gave someone gynecomastia. Lavender. Lavender might cause sleepiness and slow breathing. Sign me up for that. What's the word I'm looking for? I guess gynecomastia.

What is gynecomastia? You get titty. Lavender and tea tree oils may cause breast growth in boys. This was 2007. I knew I read this shit in high school.

I was like, get that the fuck away from me. I was going to say, that sounds like something you read when you were a teenager. No yellow number five, no Mountain Dew, and no lavender.

You know what's funny is I bet you... I haven't smelled a lilac since I got some lavender. You legit have avoided lavender since that day, right? I bet you actually have. 100%.

Because even if it's stupid, when you learn something like that as a kid, it just... It's one of those things where it's like, well, whatever. Yeah, right. And I was like... I don't need to use lavender. It's the same thing with ghosts and shit. I'm like, I don't really believe this, but I don't need to go doing Bloody Mary three times in the mirror. I don't need to go doing Bloody Mary three times in the mirror. I don't need to poke the bear here.

If I'm in the shower and the only soap is lavender, I'll use it. But if I have an option, I choose the one that has a 100% chance of not giving me titties. Like I'm getting dressed with fucking the Cinderella ball and the mice are wiping their wands at me. You get a fucking titty coming out. So you're telling me, though, that there are people who are showering at night and only night? Yeah, Tommy Smokes was one.

He actually left me a voice. I mean, Tommy, that checks out because Tommy is like a child. He actually left me a voice note. He left me two voice notes. I was supposed to do the rundown on Tuesday and I was like, not happening, boys. Like, that is absolutely childish.

I would like, if I was doing an interview, I'm going to ask this question on interviews. If you shower at night only, I won't hire you. I think you're a legitimate child. I mean, I can't have children work for me. I'm sorry. It's just like, how are you doing? I'm like 55. Like, I fucking, I'm like a former CEO. Shower at night, you're like i'm how are you doing i'm like 55 like i fucking i've like i'm like a

former ceo shower at night you're a child but like i mean yeah like is your hair a fucking mess like you're you're i mean i hope you still like brush your teeth like you have to have some sort of you definitely brush your teeth do you put deodorant on like a dirty armpit that seems crazy yeah that seems crazy your your junk is disgusting yeah i did i'd get a rash which is so weird i'd have diaper rash by lunch isn't it so weird how if you wear old boxers like the skin and i'm not talking like tight boxers like you can just wear like regular underwear and somehow like i don't know the dirty clothes like jumps off onto your balls what's that about can i tell you something right now you're wearing yesterday's underwear.

You're wearing dirty underwear. No, I'm not because I ran out of underwear. You're jocked up. I'm jocked up. The fact that it was going to say a secret the whole time. We're at the last, we're at the 11th hour, and you fucking let it out.

That is when you start, as soon as you say, can I tell you something? I said, he's jocked up. And I was like, no, he's not. And then he kept going. I was like, he's jocked up. No, with the old one? Or like the- Old one.

Not even like the fucking, the hot one. I have a chance. I brought the hot one to fucking Amsterdam. I never had a chance to wash hot one. I have a chance. I brought the hot one to fucking Amsterdam. I never had a chance to wash that one. John, I'm so mad at myself because I was going to make you put on the jock before we went to the red light. Yeah. I didn't. I forgot.

Did you wear it in Amsterdam? No, no, no. Oh, okay. That would have been the best secret. That would have brought the house down. When that stripper pulled your pants down, if you were jocked up. She would have had a blast. My biggest regret.

She did anyway. I don't know what more she could have done. That was fucking hilarious. I had like three pairs of underwear. I only brought three pairs of underwear to Amsterdam. You didn't do any laundry. No, I've been on my deathbed since. So I finally put a load of laundry in this morning.

Hilarious. But I didn't have anything. So, you boys. Is the ass popping? Free cheeks. Just. Yeah? Yeah.

You know that video we were just talking about? Like the guy where we were like, I'm not going to walk. I'm not going to look. I turned and saw Jackie first. I was like, pal. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like and saw Jackie first. I was like, pal! I was like, hey! Oh, God. What is the internet saying?

What's the vote? I'm pretty sure that this meme was like... That's designed to piss people off. It was designed to piss people off. Yeah, yeah. It is. It's smart. It is like how memes work that I don't understand.

Like, that definitely just went viral because it said people with common sense do the weird ones. People what? With common sense do the weird ones. Oh, it said common sense. Yeah, and then they say stupid things that are just made up like this. People who shower at night have a higher sex drive. What are you talking about?

What are you actually going to say? It's lavender. It gives you a titty. I mean, like, now, you know, you shower at night and you come into the bedroom all clean. Like, you could catch a tongue in your ass real quick. When everyone's clean head to toe, some things might happen. That's another thing. If you do anything in bed, you know, unless you shower at the very, very, very end of your night.

Like, you're going to have all sorts of shit all over you. I know a person who doesn't let you into their bed with, like, you have to walk to their bed in slippers after a shower. So, like, no foot. And then you can't get on it. That's the only way you can get into bed. That's insane. That's insane. That is insane. I knew a kid in high school who made his girlfriend shower every time they like got together.

And we were friends. He doesn't have any issues at all. I know. He was weird. We were friends with, it was my friend's brother. And so we would like be at the house hanging out, whatever. And then this girl would like show up, run right to the shower. Like, every time.

You pissed today? Shut up. Oh, wait, like, they weren't even fucking or anything? No, they weren't. Oh, okay. But, like, yeah, it's a weird thing to be, like, that's, like, some fucking, like, radical Islamic shit, isn't it? Like, you must be clean before you can touch me.

Like, and we were, like, sophomores in high school. I was, like, this is some weird, like, power shit and kinky shit, in it. You must be clean before you can touch me. And we were like sophomores in high school. This is some weird power shit and kinky shit and we're too young for this. I'll take you straight out of the dumpster, dude. We're 15. I don't give a fuck. And what was the other thing? The other one is would you rather

marry the person you lost your virginity to or have the first job you will have forever? Oh, easy. The first person I lost your virginity to or have the first job you have forever. Oh, easy, the first person I lost my virginity to. Yeah. My first job sucked and my first person I lost my virginity to was a freak.

No doubt about it. We're sticking to my original virginity story. I'm sticking to you. How about just the virginity story? It's just the one. I was 16. I want to brag on the podcast. Sorry for losing my virginity when it was illegal. Isn't it kind of weird?

I was thinking about this the other day now that I have my own kids. It is funny that society just kind of accepts that you fuck as kids. Yeah. And sometimes you fuck adults. Right, right. I fucked a college person. They might have been.

Right. As a child. You hope that they wait. I had a permit. But they won't. If you find out that your kids have sex at 16, you're probably like, well, I don't know. So did I. I don't know. You can't get too mad about it like that's children man it is and all society's like yeah

the it's the trauma people say like i don't want to traumatize them i guess i don't really know what trauma is but it's if it's that easy i guess i'd rather just be like sure keep wait wait wait they it. Wait, wait, wait. They're saying the trial. If you get too angry about it, then it changes their view on sexuality. Sexuality. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It is like, I just not mess with it.

I'll let nature do its course here. That is true. I do believe in that. It's just funny that like we make the, it's like maybe then like the adult line should be 16 instead of 18 for some of these things. Because it's like, we're openly saying these are kids, but then also they're allowed to fuck. It is actually,

it's funny too. Cause you're like, it is like, yeah, people know kids have sex. And I would be, I would imagine the same type of person who was like, it's fine.

It's just natural. It's like, did that 35 year old man just marry a 21 year old girl? Yeah. Pervert. Right. Right. I don't know.

We've talked about this before. It's something I have absolutely no interest in. But it's legal on both sides, so what the fuck do you want me to do about it? Yeah. Run it up the flagpole in Washington. Don't come to me about it. Go to the Supreme Court. Not KFC Radio.

But, yeah, it's either her who... Now, wait. I don't even know where she is or what she does or nothing like that oh she's dead she fell off a cliff she's dead okay yeah she's doing tiktok um the uh are we saying you can you like move up the ladder at your first job i guess you i mean your first job is really guess you have. I mean, your first job is usually so stupid. I'm thinking of my first job. I was like 15. I was younger than I was. I was thinking of my first job out of school.

Because your first job is like, I worked at the fucking snack bar. And that's just not feasible. Okay, so we're talking career. I'll take my career. See, for me, it's the opposite. But'm saying also thinking like if i if you were to tell me that like i would end up like a partner at deloitte that's not the fucking worst life either you know i guess it's if your first job well how about this you can move up the ladder i don't think

you would have yeah right it's it's it's it would just be yeah Yeah, the goods. How about this? It's just reality. And you would probably just still be there. Yeah, there was no... You're just digging, dude. I'm just trying to readjust it. Yeah, just get it back in. Move the nut outside. Outside? Yeah, because I pulled it too far to this side,

so the other nut kind of... Goddamn. Anyway anyway show's over សូវាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប� Thank you.