KFC Radio - We Recap the Draft Kings 41 Free Throws Challenge Ft. Rick Hoffman

Episode Date: February 15, 2024

Smash Your Hunger With KFC’s Smash’d Potato Bowls For Only $3.49! Timecodes: 0:00 Start 10:08 We gotta tip our caps to Ohios Tate 25:36 John's Super is perplexed by him 36:24 Ariana Grande is white 41:58 JLo and Ben Affleck: Greatest Love Story Never Told 45:03 Barstool's Tik Tok sucks 50:28 #1 Antichrist Pod 58:11 Superbowl hypothetical 01:05:13 Jackie ran into a door in front of Dave 01:11:10 Video Voicemails ++++++++++++++++++++++++++ KFC: Smash Your Hunger With KFC’s Smash’d Potato Bowls For Only $3.49! Prices and participation may vary. Prices higher in AK, HI and third-party ordering websites. Buy one get one free offer only valid with order of regular Smash'd Potato Bowl (without nuggets) through KFC Account. Must add eligible item to cart and redeem offer before completing order. Customer responsible for all taxes, tips and fees. Cannot be combined with other offers. Limit 1 per transaction or Only valid with order of regular Smash'd Potato Bowl (without nuggets) through KFC Account. Must add eligible item to cart and redeem offer before completing order. Customer responsible for all taxes, tips and fees. Cannot be combined with other offers. Limit 1 per transaction. https://www.kfc.com/menu/special-offers/smashd-potato-bowl https://barstool.link/KFCSHOP Solo Stove: Head over to https://solostove.com and use promo code BARSTOOL20 to get $20 bucks off $199 or more, and ditch the smoke for good. Highland Film Group: Land of Bad Only in Theaters 2/16 https://landofbad.com/?utm_source=barstoolsports&utm_medium=direct&utm_campaign=landofbad&utm_content=ticketsYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. I was like, ah, no, it doesn't work. The shower? Yeah, and he was like, what do you mean? And I was like, no, I don't have any running water. And he's like, well, that's why I was calling. How come you haven't called me?

You just know that? How long? And I was like, two days. And he was like, hang on a second. You haven't had running water in two days. And I was like, nah. He's like, when are you going to call me? I was like, I figure it'll work itself out. Today's episode of KFC is brought to you by KFC. Let me tell you why KFC is perfect.

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no but i know of it i know it's iron related baffles me baffles i i am so worried about what this clip is no i think you are going to be what you're like you're going to be like i agree i don't know what's going on either yeah no no i think you're going to be very much on my side because i mean you're an idiot don't get me wrong and neither of us know anything about like the female body and whatnot but there's just this just doesn't warrant i i i think this is only going one way and i think i'm gonna be like what no okay ready all right so um why is your hand so cold because i have low iron god i wish i didn't know that um what why what's wrong with you she just said she just said there was shit coming out of her ass. What did you act like that for?

I don't want to know about people's iron levels. I don't want to know that. I don't care about people. Jake, how's your iron levels? I wouldn't know. Me either. That's the right answer. 100% Stephen Chay thinks that iron has something to do with your period.

Right? The only reaction would be like if Megan was like, oh, I got a heavy flow today. Stephen would be like, oh, I don't need to know that. Yeah. She said her iron levels are low. She has like anemia. She has like poor circulation in her hands. And Steven Che is like, oh, I don't need to know that.

John agrees. No, I don't agree. I mean, who gives a fuck about someone's iron level? But doesn't iron drop during your period? Isn't he kind of right? Well, technically, it does mean that you have a period. So Stephen Jay knew this ahead of time, that iron levels are related to periods? I think I knew that because I used to date a girl who had my irons on.

I'm like, what the fuck? How do you know your irons are related to my period? So he's in the right. I think so. It does affect your period, but it also affects just like your normal body function. It's not like implying. I don't know. But if you're like, dude, my iron plummeted.

You're like, you are shedding uterine wall. All right. I got it. All right. I'll give it to Jay, though. I have not done any research myself. I know I had a girlfriend who would say that kind of stuff. My mom had that issue, but I haven't done any research either okay well let's see let's see i thought it

was gonna be about something else i saw it right at the other day of someone there's like a podcast club i think it's the guys you know like the the basement backyard something basement yard um was it i don't know whatever the i think one's the basement yard yeah yeah yeah joe santagato and uh and frankie and it was they like one of them was like finding out iron is iron and i was like what the fuck are you talking about what do you mean like iron in your blood is like actually iron yeah it's like like like you know that's crazy that's that's understandable i mean i guess by the way just to go back um heavy periods can cause iron deficiency anemia so i guess i apologize steven i i i was gonna

say you're a weirdo for being so like weird about iron but um you're a weirdo for knowing that i mean i knew it again i had a girlfriend yeah you're a fucking weirdo too man i had a girlfriend who i'd be like what are your irons levels right now it's just so it's still weird to do that it's a it's a very che especially it's a very che reaction the fact you go that's weird he's right yes that's exactly that's pretty much che in a nutshell it's like you know you can be right and still be the weirdo, basically, is the answer. Because it was just like, I'm cold. You know what I mean?

If she was like, I'm bloated and blah, blah, blah, and I don't have iron, he'd be like, I don't want to hear that. But it's just like, yeah, my fingers are a little cold. Oh, don't tell me that. I don't want to know that. So fucking weird uh i mean i feel bad you've been jacked up about that clip for like a day now what no i mean he's just right yeah no i mean i'm not i don't care whether he's yeah it wasn't that big of a deal but i i it but it's more like only Che.

Yeah, I guess being right is all that matters in this one. It is. In fact, I'm thinking back now where I would even be like, what is she talking about? And then hearing that now, I'm like, oh, she was right. They do have low iron. Well, yeah. I mean, maybe.

Maybe I could see Trace had a couple kids. Learned about things with the bodies. Females, you know. Maybe she had an iron deficiency at some point. But, I don't know. Fine. You're right. I'm wrong, Steven.

You're still the fucking weirdo for reacting that way. We got Rick Hoffman on the show today, who is one of the stars of the most watched television show of all time. Which is kind of a new... It's almost like the new highest paid player of all time. You know what I mean? Like, there's always new ones now because of streaming. But for Suits... What did it be?

No, it'd be the office yeah the office so and the office kind of held the crown for a while so i shouldn't say that it's not like a revolving door but it is going to be like there's always going to be some new show that's an old show that's being put on streaming uh that you know all of a sudden the people are like i never saw this this is amazing and there's nine episodes nine seasons to watch so they get a lot in and uh uh so he's on on the show today just a delightful guy just a great guy and and just like he's you know it's like anytime i meet somebody from new york usually they just like kind of tell it like it is you know he's like i'll tell you the fucking reason the show got big megan markle you know like

boom done so we talk about her a lot uh and and just the magic carpet ride that can be getting lucky and getting on a show like that so uh if any suits fans out there you can get jacked up for this one um and of course we'll get into our voicemails and whatnot uh what you got for me today i got actually a lot today yeah go ahead let's let it rip so okay i i got i got a bunch i got a bunch i got open the book first a bunch Open the book First of all I gotta tip a cap Let me tip my

Let me tip our caps I'm an Ohio State guy Dude I I wasn't gonna say it, but if you're gonna say it I'll say it, because I don't wanna hear the Fucking, I don't wanna hear say it, but if you're going to say it, I'll say it. Because I don't want to hear the fucking – I don't want to hear it from our friends here. But the quitting in the middle of the night video was awesome.

I didn't see that right away. I just saw – because I was following along before I went to bed last night or two nights ago. I saw Pat Bev. I am a Pat Bev super fan. You are the Stan. I'm going to get a Bucks jersey. You're part of the love gang. Bro.

Hashtag love gang. He's the funniest guy in the world. He's such a nice guy. He's so cool. So down to earth. He's so about it. Like he's – I tell Ron. I think I've said it on the podcast before.

Every time I see Ron, I'm like, dude, that's such a great show. I just watch the clips. I don't listen to podcasts. But you know what I mean. Yeah. I mean said it on the podcast before. Every time I see Rowan, I'm like, dude, that's such a great show. I just watch the clips. I don't listen to podcasts. But you know what I mean. Yeah. I mean, come on. But him strolling in at like midnight with a fresh off a game with a game tomorrow is crazy.

But then when I saw – Thanks a couple shots for the boys. When I saw – when we talked about Ohio State last time, I think I said something to the effect of, it's easy to write the low-hanging fruit. Like, let's... I said, when I read it, I was like, there might be something there. And now, objectively speaking, if I was a scout for the blog game, I'd go, that kid hits

the hole hard. I don't know what's been preventing him for the last five years. I don't know what changed his life to make... Tate sees a hole, hits a hole. That's a fact of the matter right now. We were discussing it last night. Either way, this is awesome, but I hope it's true. In his video, he makes a video in the car because he coaches women's basketball at his former high school.

So obviously he can play a little bit of ball. So there's a free throw challenge going on. He's like, I can contribute. He says in the car, he's like, I'll be there in four hours. I'm driving to the Chicago office. Oh, yeah. And by the way, to my principal, I quit. Now, I think probably not the truth.

You know what I mean? I actually hope it isn't. that's really rude to do. I hope it is. I think that would be so incredible. I think it's probably more likely like he said March 11th. That's like I'll give you a month. And then I wonder if there was a conversation that was like, yo, dude, like I'm missing opportunities.

I'm just handcuffing myself by letting like this month go by. I got it. And I got to go. Or maybe it's all a front. He's back at the school right now for all I know. I don't know. But no matter what, truth, warped truth, a little bending of lies, little white lies, and poetic liberty, all that shit, all of it, well done.

Because that is also there's still very much a big contingency of barstool fans that are like uh and there always has been and there always will be of like fuck work i want to just quit and go do this i wish i could be there like i wish i could just double middles to my boss and be gone and if he he's just on a i mean there's no way let's a... I mean, there's no way... Let's say he even did quit. There's no way he found out from the video. But in Miracle on 34th Street,

I choose to believe. I choose to believe that wakes up in the morning and the principal, somebody you're sending him the video, is going, did you see that Mr. Tate, Ohio Tate, is not coming in today? Ever again? He was in Chicago. And he's like, wait, what?

Who's going to teach gym class today? What are we going to fucking do now? Tate, Ohio Tate, is not coming in today ever again. He should be in Chicago. And he's like, wait, what? Like, who's going to teach gym class today? What are we going to fucking do now? He's definitely a bit of a psycho, but so is everyone here. I mean, the people he's going up against have been – it's the psycho. It's psycho versus psycho. It's fighting fire with fire. It's two to three to four maybe psychos that have been fighting for the last three weeks. And then pressure's on.

If you roll in and you do that whole dog and pony show and you miss, it's tough. Stepped up and had, I think, two free throws. Did he? I actually didn't even know. We kind of discussed the free throw challenge previous episode. I was under the impression it was just like you shoot, I shoot, he shoots she shoots you to 41 people in a row like everyone's got to hit one the way they did it was a little bit different where like you can have chunks of people shoot and so the better shooters can go at the same time nonetheless still a a difficult feat to achieve i have i have also

16 hours total by the way i want to do this. The Frito Challenge? Yeah. Not the Frito Challenge. But I want – it's a big thing now at Barstool with these long streams. I want in. I mean you were the OG of the Christmas stream and the – Oh, but those didn't have any objective. Yeah. Like the – You'd be great at some of the dumb objective stuff.

I texted Grinnell and I was like, for hockey playoffs, let's do one of these type things. What do you think it's going to be? I don't really. But we said. Like making a shot? Or like you got to shoot from the blue line or some shit? I think we probably would go post. But I feel like that almost takes away the spirit because you're not scoring a goal.

So I said maybe a shooter. You could do what Frank did. Took Frank two shots. We'll see how long it takes you. That wouldn't take that long. You don't think so? No. I mean, like, I wouldn't get a two-shot.

But, like, we'd all get it. Like, if we had to trade him in a row, yes, that would take an eternity. But just to put it in, no. Wait, what would take an eternity? Like, if we all have to hit in a row. Like, that would be impossible. But putting it, like, in the same size. I mean, that was, like, the size of the puck, wasn't it? I mean, like, that's a –. That would be impossible. But putting it in the same size, that was the size of the puck, wasn't it?

It wouldn't be easy, but I would guess a net is 20 pucks. Of shooting a half-court shot for basketball. Okay, yeah, so maybe that's not it. But I don't know. But I want to do something like that. Just to fight. You're so miserable. You're so miserable. You're so miserable in not it. But I don't know. But I want to do something like that. Just the fight. You're so miserable. You're so miserable.

You're so miserable in doing it. It's got to be awesome. This is the way Feidelberg, instead of killing himself, he's going to start to do these streams. I can feel again. I can live again. Speaking of killing. Oh, wait. By the way, before we move on from the free throws, the fact I've got a video coming out probably this week.

Really, the definitive video about Dave Portnoy's deal with the devil. Just trying to capture all of it coming off of his latest Super Bowl win where he put up 500 grand. I might have to put that final free throw in that video. Oh, yeah. I mean, he shoots it with two hands. It's like a field goal going wide right. And then it just like, doink, doink, double doinks and in. It was the worst basketball shot that has ever gone in.

That had no business going in the hoop. I think it defied physics i think it went backwards and up and down like he he shoots it with two hands and falls to the floor right away his follow-through is him sitting on the floor and somehow it rattles in like anybody else in the world puts up that shot if i took a ball and shot it like that, there's no way it's going in. The precedent has been set by R.A. Oh my god. Does R.A.'s arms not work

or something? I don't know why. I think you were the one who said it best. It looks like he's shooting a medicine ball. He's always like... You ever play Nukem when you were a kid? Yeah, what is that? It was volleyball, but you played with... I'm conflating things.

James Harrison plays Nukem with a medicine ball. Jesus. But wait, Nukem is – what's the rules of Nukem? It's like volleyball, but you don't have to – Right, right, right. You just throw it. And you catch and throw. Yeah.

But you can't move more than a couple steps. How the fuck did we ever lose at that game? I guess we were kids. I guess it seems super easy. Well, I actually – it's so funny you say that because on my algorithm the other day was a video called Catch Ball. And it's exactly that. It's volleyball, but you just throw it and catch it. And it was just like a bunch of middle-aged women.

And the caption was like, catch ball. It's like volleyball caption was like catch ball it's like volleyball but like easier and it was a bunch of like middle-aged like frumpy women just like catching it and throwing it and then like they're trying to spike it they're like i was like oh man this is not this should not be on the internet dude speaking of middle-aged there was a video what barcel tweeted of like football's over so now my husband is watching middle-aged men shoot free throws accurately getting called middle age that sucks hurts welcome to the fucking that's light work you'll get over that quick well i was like damn oh yeah don't wear middle age oh yeah all right oh yeah dude I mean. Middle age is like 50.

No, bro. How long do you think you're going to live? 75? In your bra. I mean, if it's less than that, then you're beyond middle age. Yeah. You're on the down slope, yes? If I lived to 70, I'm middle age right now.

Right. Yeah. Yeah. Pretty accurate, I think. Not that I was in the video, but I'm of the age group of people in it. Yeah. Yeah. Pretty accurate, I think. Not that I was in the video, but I'm of the age group of the people in it. Yeah. I mean, we've gotten younger a little bit. We have some younger hires here and there, but we're kind of like Italy.

Isn't Italy's birth rate – isn't Italy going to die out soon? I know they are definitely offering houses for dollars. Yeah. But you have to live there if you have a baby we'll give you like thirty thousand dollars cash and a house yeah because everyone in italy is just like an old like no no and nana who's doing it i mean he's getting his italian citizenship and he's like i'm moving to italy so like because of that yeah that's so awesome dollar of course i'm gonna go Of course I'm going to go. And I'm going to go. And is it like anywhere in Italy?

Or like, probably not like Positano or some shit, right? No, no, no. But still, Italy's like a beautiful, yeah, okay. Send me to the Italian countryside for free.

Meanwhile, like, you know, why? Yeah, he's going to be crying while he's cutting his goat's head off to eat. It's like the middle,

like it's the countryside. Yeah, it's like nothing. It's not like You walk to the market It's the countryside But there's some people Alright if you didn't have If you just had like a shitty job

Or some shit Like you weren't really doing much Would you do something like that? I would Let's say you were single And I think I'm more apt to do it now You think so?

Yeah I mean that would kind of Throw a wrench into things If you lived in the Italian Countryside To be honest Although I will say If you go over there And you're chopping be honest although i will say if you go over

there and you're chopping goats heads off it will all balance out like listen guys the podcast is via zoom i know that sucks but have you checked the live stream it's how many goats can john murder in a day can john do 40 beheadings in an hour on up. No living thing is safe. That's the kind of stuff I talk about. I wish I could do things like that. And I probably still wouldn't even if I had the ability to. But part of me is like, you just have to live in a house? You don't have to have a baby?

I think so. I thought part of these things were like you get an incentive. Same thing with China, right? Or the opposite of that. Like if you only have one kid, you get like subsidy or something like. Like if you only have one kid, you get like a subsidy or something like that. If you only have one kid, you get to live still. That's what I mean. There's some sort of bonus.

You pop out a second kid. I think it's more a punishment for – and I think that's an old thing. I don't know if that's still active. I know it was definitely a thing we used to say when we were seven-year-old little racists running around the playground. Yeah, I mean when I was a kid growing up, I was under the impression if a baby girl was born in China, they left her on the side of a mountain. Yes. I'm pretty sure that's kind of true, I think. But anyway, I don't know.

Anyway, where were we? How did this come about? Italy? Middle age. Middle age. Oh, you're middle-aged. Yeah, you're old. You're old.

Yeah. You are old. I'm not upset by it. It's just the first time. Oh, yeah, no. You just have to bring it up out of nowhere. Out of nowhere? We're talking about the free throw challenge.

Yeah, but, you know, for that to be the thing, I'm stuck out. The middle-aged is – what's worse? Late 30s or middle-aged? I think late 30s sounds younger. Yeah, so do I, actually, as I say it. You can't be middle-aged because you're middle-aged and I'm like seven years from middle-age. Yeah, dude.

You're quarter-aged. She goes... Is your camera on Jackie yeah okay uh well you're still

okay wait how old are you Jackie I always forget this 24 24 but you're like pretty newly 24 no I guess not anymore

I'm like a middle I'm I'm one month away from halfway to 24 you're what um I'm next month

I'm halfway to 25 okay so you're 24 and a half. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know why I said that. I had to type it in. You still have a couple years, but somebody recently was going through their 27 crisis a little early.

I think it was Nikki Smokes. I think Clem was telling me Nikki Smokes had the 27 breakdown, but at 25, which kind of makes sense. I think everything probably shifts down a little bit because we're just in a faster-paced world, and everything moves quicker, so 25 is the new 27. I like being older. You'll be your man. Yeah, but like... Topic difference.

I think I've been an old man for a while. Yeah, you fit the old man lifestyle better, as do I, trust me. Like, the day that people stopped partying and going out and doing all that shit. But beyond that, it's like the vibe of, like, I can't wait to be the get-off-my-long guy. I kind of already am, you know? So, like, but there are people who fight that, like, tooth and nail, you know? Yeah. And then you end up, like, looking like the asshole. It's like, dude, come on, you're already am you know so like but there are people who fight that like tooth and nail you know yeah and then you end up like looking like the asshole it's like dude come on you're old you know we've also talked about like ages that you're supposed to be and you uh you're just like supposed to be an old man yeah that's what i'm saying yeah yeah we're like you were

born in the wrong decade uh wrong era or something that all of it trends up yeah I carry my leather notebook. What are these kids doing these days? That is only one tier above carrying a handkerchief. And I got a handkerchief yesterday. No, you didn't. It actually just came with a close order. Are you going to use it? I don't know. Probably not. Let's be honest.

If I catch you blowing your nose. Oh, I only blow my nose in the shower. I would never blow my nose in public. I have a your nose i only blow my nose in the shower i would never okay public if i see i have a real aversion to blow my nose if i see anybody strangers even blow their nose into a cloth and put it back in their pocket i will have an intervention i usually have a you know don't ask don't tell don't get involved with people's shit if i see you do that especially if you're a loved one even if you're a stranger i will have a talk with you my grandpa used to do it and it was just i was a kid and i knew it was just gross you know as a kid i was like probably five six years old being like why the fuck is grandpa doing that

like there's gotta be boogers in his pockets, right? What the fuck is going on here, man? The, um... Wait, what? I just remembered something. Oh, kind of this is... I don't know why the old thought made me think of this, but it's actually Italy that makes it more sense. I... I got a call from my super this morning

at, like, 7.30. And he's like, Hey, John. I'm not going to do the accent. Don't even think about it. Could you go check your shower? Was that Indian? Could you?

Could you go check your shower? I don't know Asian? Hispanic Hispanic? That would have been my last guess I can't I'm trying to not sell all out So it's harder

You're going to be like Hey Jesse Go check that shower man He's not a vato um but he's like and i was i was like ah no it doesn't work the shower yeah and he was like what do you mean and i was like no i don't have any running water and he's like well that's why i was calling you haven't called me you just know that he goes how long and long? And I was like, two days. And he was like, hang on a second. You haven't had running water in two days.

And I was like, nah. He's like, when are you going to call me? I was like, I figured it would work itself out. Were you showering at the gym or something? Yeah, I showered at the gym. And he's like, how would it work itself out? I was like, it's working itself out right now. You called me.

You called me, dude. And he's like, all right, I out I was like It's working itself out Right now You called me You called me dude And he's like Alright I'm gonna send The boiler water guys over Like thank you Fair enough Fair enough You've been showering

Like at the gym And like bringing clothes To change into and shit I just showered at the gym Just last night So it didn't It stopped working Monday I got

Monday I showered It was tough Monday I just showered But it was like Leaky like fucking Like Like I was like Laying my leg was like leaky like fucking like I was like laying my leg out like that

to get the soap off and then I moved because it wasn't a shower it was just one little thing of water and I would like flick it off like that. How'd you wash your ass?

I like cupped it by my balls and kind of like splash. You were like on your head and your hands like twerking to get your ass open. And then I was like, that's not going to work anymore. So last night I went to the gym. I showered there.

And it's been pretty easy. I was going to say, it's not – one more day I think would have been a little silly. One more day probably would have been silly. Yeah. But I think you would have gone like four more days. I think the most difficult part actually was because the boiler or water heater is clearly broken, it's been rattling around by pipes all night. And like last night I was laying in bed and I was like, God, these things have never made this much noise. And I didn't put it together until this morning when he was like, how's the water?

I was like, oh, yeah, it doesn't work. Very broken. That's why. Very, very broken. In any sense. But I was right. It worked itself out. It's kind of like an inspirational metaphor for manifesting. It's like you just thought it was gonna work itself out and then it

it does yeah honestly there is uh more often than not in life almost exclusively the worry is worse than the event right you know what i mean yes yes like the thing that happens that you've been worrying about when it happens you're kind of like well that sucks but like okay it's over now the event right you know what i mean yes yes like the thing that happens that you've been worrying about when it happens you're kind of like well that sucks but like okay it's over now or it wasn't that bad but the agonizing leading up to it you know and that's a little bit different than what we're talking about here but it's kind of you know same same church different pew where it's just like don't if you if you can only let it affect you as much as you let it affect you yeah you know what i mean if you're fucking freaking out about the water and the water is a huge problem how am

i gonna live without running water you're gonna be fine yeah and you just go to the gym or you're stinky for a day you take a day off you watch do you did you have like you didn't even have um like faucet no it was weird like it would like come in like it would like the faucet would like stop clearly stop working. And then I'd try it again two hours later, and it would be a little bit left in the game. It was like repumping or whatever. But I kept a couple of bottled waters on hand, so I'd pour those in my toothbrush. I was going to say, get some body armor out and just fucking take care of yourself. For easy.

But, Jackie, at 24, it's like only you can prevent forest fires type shit. Only you can make yourself have this midlife crisis. You know what I mean? Oh, I was like, I'm trying to get all the plastic surgery I could get. Wait, what's next? Oh, what is it? Oh, she goes, oh, you don't end up on box. What? Lips. Lips. But that's not surgery, that's injections yeah that's injection but then i'm gonna like maybe something where it's like it

knocks out your jaw and then replaces with a new they like break your jaw? Yeah. But it's fucking working. What's it called? What's the surgery? It's not a surgery. I just want to see if they could do it. Oh, Jesus.

She's making things up now. You're inventing it. Now she's just making things up. That's going to be a difficult one, I think. You got to go to medical school and stuff for that. Not if i manifest it that's actually that's actually kind of what i did like with the nose job i realized is like to get over the mean comments like just like about my nose not really no but like that sounds like to get over the mean comments like i would just be like okay well i know i'm gonna get a nose job

at some point yeah like it's already fixed already, like, whenever somebody would say something, it's like, just, I already have a different nose. I like that. That's a, that's a, that's almost, you can do that for anything. You know, it's like, you're a bum. You don't make any money. It's like, well, one day I will. So, technically, right now, I have it.

It's like, it's like, it's kind of like, if you believe in, like, time travel and stuff, like, there's no before and after. Like, time is all constant. there's no before and after. Time is all constant. So I already have money, so technically I'm not a bum. Fuck you. My nose is already pretty.

When we did our episode, you were like, I've always just known I'll be rich one day, so I didn't really worry about money. Yeah, but now I'm realizing I should get a plan. Clock's a ticking, baby. But little do you know, you've been taking steps towards it, you know? Getting your schnoz fixed. Doing this. You know, it's like those are steps towards getting rich.

So like whether or not you did it like I need to get rich so I'm going to get my nose done or I need to get rich so I'm going to take this job and do this thing. You were just doing it, manifesting it. You have a job. You've been doing things. Yeah, yeah, but it's like have I – I don't know. It doesn't – yeah. So you're just going to leave it up to chance that you get rich.

I mean you're on a pretty good path. Rich is a strong word. What I'm realizing is like there's a lot more like i gotta if i gotta like you gotta really to get rich you actually have to like make a move yep and that's the part that it's like so much effort yeah it's so much effort but you know what i was thinking the other day is like once if you can make it a little bit like you kind of can linger around for a long time as long as you're not like a total asshole you know so like maybe you're not going to make like millions and maybe you're like earning power

is not going to be like huge forever but like once you've been around it's like i don't know we could do weird you know he's like hosting this, or he's DJing this thing, or talking about this thing. There's just always like- Suicide will be long before that one, brother. If you wanted to. You know what I mean? It's like if you just hang around long enough, people will be like, oh, I remember that guy. I'm DJing parties now to get rich.

Get the fuck out of here, dude. DJ Feidelberg in the motherfucking building. Yo, DJ Feidelberg DJing. I could see it's either going to be a blast or a disaster. Fall Out Boy, take this to your grave. Yeah, there you go. There you go. You do have a good taste in music if you wanted to put some effort into it.

I think you could DJ a party. But also, I could see you just doing that. But guess what? Everyone would be like, hang on. This is fucking – I mean, there's not a skip on that whole album. It's a perfect album. It'll go from that to August and Everything After to change up the vibes, back to Take to See a Grave, back to August and Everything After, and that's it.

And we all go home at a reasonable hour. Fire has always had a sidekick. It's like peanut butter and jelly, Jackie and Pavs, Fidelberg and KFC, and fire and smoke. But in this case, it's also like the sidekick sucks.

You know? So it's like, do you like peanut butter or jelly better? Peanut butter. What about you, Jackie? Peanut butter. Do you like me or Feidelberg better?

Paz? Paz? Jackie? Paz? Jackie Paz? It's very equal. And who do you like better, Jackie or Paz? I like Jackie better.

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Use promo code BARSTOOL20. That's BARSTOOL and the number 20 to get $20 off a solo stove of $199 or more. Ditch the smoke for good. What else do I have here? Ariana Grande. I might be late on this. She's just white, huh? I'll one-up you.

What the fuck is that? I'll one-up you. What the fuck is that? I'll one-up you. Beyonce, just a white woman. Beyonce's a blonde white woman now. The only reason the last couple times I saw Beyonce, actually at the Super Bowl she looked normal. Other than that, everywhere else I've seen her, the only reason I knew who she was is because she was next to Jay-Z.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's crazy. I remember a picture or two like that. I mean, like, and no one said anything about it. I feel feel like it's kind of a usually those kind of things are a big deal but like beyonce like she dyed her hair and stuff like that is our honor is that her natural hair color what is she she blonde now do you see her in the wicked well yeah but i also thought it was like kind of for a movie role you know what i mean? So it's a little bit different. I guess that's true. She, like, I think she has some...

You know that Rick Wicket's not real, right? And that other chick's green! But I mean, yeah, like the poster, that's a fucking white bitch. Yeah, yeah. With curls and everything. She is. I thought she is white. She is.

I didn't know that. Wait, what did you think she was? As we're talking through this, I'm like, yeah, wait, she's white. She's – I didn't realize. I guess I saw that and I was like, oh, that's her natural color. I mean, Grande is like – she's a little – I think she always talks about her abuelita or some shit like that. You know what I mean? All right.

End of that topic. No, but the – she looks like Emmy Rossum as a kid. She's Italian. Italian? Just Italian? Grande is of Italian descent. Yeah, but she's Italian like Pabst is Italian. Yeah.

No, Pabst is Italian like he's Irish. Ariana Grande is Italian like... She's Sicilian. I'm Northern Italian and half Irish, so I'm white. Yeah, you're just a white guy. I don't know where Italians get off acting like they're not white. You know, like, oh, I'm Italian. It's like, you're fucking white.

That's it. We're all fucking white, man. Get out of here. So she doesn't have Spanish in her? I thought she had a Spanish grandmother or something like that. But either way, yeah, no, she's just a white homewrecker. That's just what she is. But I could see, like, you know, these pictures are a little bit, like, a little. She was putting it on a little bit, I think.

I hate when they do the Cura Cura. Is Ariana Grande Mexican? Like, you know, that's like when she was 12, when they do these, like, side-by-sides with, like, Kylie Jenner in them. It's like, yeah, no, she's. This one's funny. It just says white on her forehead. But yeah, she's as white as the day is long. And then Beyonce, she kind of went into hiding.

You know what I mean? She hasn't been around for a while. And then comes out with like... I mean, bro, what? That's Beyonce? That's Beyonce. I would have said that's a Kardashian, right? That's Beyonce? That's Beyonce. I would have said that's a Kardashian, right? I got to be honest.

This all feels pretty good. What does that mean? White's back? Brother, I got news for you, brother. We bet the bottom of the barrel for like six months now, and I didn't like it for a second. We never left yeah i'll give you that i mean that is that is like 100 kim k that's kim k's exact like look well

it's funny that beyonce's doing the uh the country thing like that was something that was mocked on 30 rock 15 years ago like jenna maroney is like jack i'd be willing to go country and was like go country what's that jack's like oh it's a thing that women older women use in order to revive their careers there's like something like that i forget what the exact line is and it's just like act two country jenna maroney been here done that Beyonce I just I was stunned that that wasn't getting not that Beyonce's career needed reviving I'm aware she's

selling out arenas and all that major stuff I was making a joke let's all relax everybody calm down I don't want the Hive coming after you know everybody had a problem with her never winning album of the year but like and I'm sure i think i'm sure there was a time she got like really snubbed you know but like you can also have hits and a fucking amazing career but not have like the album you know what

i mean yeah like doesn't necessarily doesn't just because she has the most grammys or like one of the most yeah jay-z was like she has the most but never won an album in the year it's like well maybe like her singles are good and the rest you know what i mean like that can happen yeah you don't have i didn't i i don't know anything about renaissance i just do that once i won't break my soul which i didn't care for um yeah i i would i would say i think lemonade was the album to me that stuck out so what yeah that that probably should have won and i want to say like uh i want to know adele won adele won that see that's what i mean too though it's like i don't know adele had like

iconic albums too yeah i think there was a year that like let me let her something let me it was fucking gas dude because yeah she got up there and was like, you deserve. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it just doesn't all necessarily... I mean, dude, I can't get over these pictures. She's just a white girl with a cowboy hat. She looks like she belongs in fucking Nashville right now. But, hey, white's back, brother. Rocking. Let let's go let's do it the um another thing that i saw

for pop culture wise arguably the saddest thing i've ever read it's it's so it explains so much like now I get all the pictures and things like that. So there was a Variety article on Jennifer Lopez. And it's about her $20 million gamble. Why the superstar spent her own money and defied skeptics to tell her ben affleck love story there's a paragraph in here that says it's talking about why she wanted to do and all this stuff so and the process it was that it took wait what is it though it's like a movie that the trailer came out okay um it's very weird it's like a musical weird thing uh i don't think it was super well received. I was going to hear of it. But it says, Lopez then invited musicians over to the house and, for inspiration, showed them a stash of love letters Affleck had written her, which he titled The Greatest Love Story Never Told.

In the documentary, Affleck comes into the room and seems taken aback when he sees the letters being bandied about. He says to the camera, I did really find the beauty in poetry and the irony and the fact that it's the greatest love story ever told. If you're making a record about it, it seems kind of like telling it. I was kidding. You're telling the story. Imagine you go in and you see your wife showing all these people

your fucking letters. You bury your soul i'd rather you fucking flash my nudes like what are you doing yeah put like put that all away yeah no that's that's that's that's why he's ripping those cigs and grabbing the dunkin donuts speaking of the dunkin donuts yeah the dunkings Dunkings, so that's Affleck's coffee. The Dunkings is Affleck's order. Okay. Let me guess.

It's milk and two sugars. Ben Affleck needs a lot of help. No, it's the opposite of my brother. Because sometimes these McDonald's meals, I'm like, oh, what is it? It's nuggets and a burger. I'm like, that's not your meal. It's fucking, what is this? This is like a 12-year-old girl's coffee. It's like sugar and sugar. It's like, it's nuggets in a burger. I'm like, that's not your meal. It's fucking. Bro, what is this? This is like a 12-year-old girl's coffee.

It was like sugar and sugar. It's crazy. It's four French vanilla swirls, four French vanilla shots, three pumps of cream, sweet, cold foam, and cinnamon sugar. Sounds great to me, bro. Really? Ben, go to a doctor, dude. Sounds delicious, bro. That's crazy.

Ben is pre-diabetic right now, bro. That's crazy. Ben is pre-diabetic right now. That sounds awesome. Is there any coffee in there? I don't know. I honestly don't know. That's an insane order for a 50-year-old man. I just can't imagine Ben's got the dragon tattoo on his back while he sips his ridiculous sweet cream thing while Jennifer Lopez yells at him.

My man's lived many lives. Many lives, dude. Ups, downs, all sorts of shit. He's great. Oh, we got to talk a little shop. We got to talk a little barstool business here. I believe we are the number one media company on tiktok so does that affect like third brand third brand yeah like so so there's individuals who might have

more followers than us but like espn and disney are all these like names. I think we're top three in followers with 25 million followers. So I put that caveat out there to say it's working, and if it ain't broke, don't fix it. But the Barstool TikTok account, I don't know who runs it. It's the worst thing I've ever seen in my life. And I don't follow many people. I just use TikTok almost as an editing tool. I post it on TikTok because you can do all your edits and green screen and shit.

And then I post it on Instagram where I make my bread and butter. So I don't follow many people. So when I open it up, that For You page, that timeline, it goes to the three people I follow. It's like chicks in the office, barstool, and like, I don't know, you or some shit. Me? So I see. Oh, I hope I'm not posting stuff on there. No, yeah.

I don't know. It's just three or four random people. So I see those ones I follow a lot. So I always catch a barstool post when i first opened it and the last like five times in a row it's just been like a little baby like rolling over for the first time or like a seven-year-old who like gives a girl a flower or uh like a right you seen it like it's crazy it's it's uh you'll send them to me when you see them and and they are. I always just, like, at first I was like, something, something.

I was waiting for, like, the girl to, like, slap him in the face or he gets hit in the nuts. Or he puts me on a good video, like, the little kid farts or something. Right. You know, quality highbrow stuff. And it's just like, oh, like, look how much this boy loves his mom. Look at this little second grader who has a crush on the girl in his class. Watch this baby crawl for the first time. And I'm always waiting.

Yeah, like, is he going to get hit by a car next? And nothing. And I'm sure they'll tell me that those do numbies. But, like, what are we doing? What are we doing here? Like, what are we doing here? I've got the list right here. So TikTok's one.

Two is ESPN. Three is PSG, Paris Saint-Germain. Four is Real Madrid. Five is Netflix. Six is Barstool Sports. And I think there was a time where we were in the top five. This might be outdated. I don't know. It doesn't have a date was a time where we were in the top five. This might be outdated. I don't know.

It doesn't have a date on this, but I know we were top five. Or maybe we just lied to advertisers. 21% black audience. 21% ethnic over here. I actually wonder if, like, I cannot stop crying on that app. Like, everything that, like, it feeds me. Like, and it's a recent thing so maybe it's just like a trend right now but i maybe you're just low in iron i was just gonna

say how you're on your level jackie no but like it's just i i mean there's a baby and a dog video like it's just gonna get views well that's because your biological clock is ticking stop no it is like it's always been that way you know doggos and and like dumb shit like that and the name of the game is getting followers and shit but it's not really the name of the game is like being a funny account yeah you know i i think i think when dave bought the company back he he must not must not be a TikToker. I believe he said something like, we're done posting dumb videos. Yeah, he definitely did it with Twitter and Instagram where it was like enough of just like, check out the doggo.

But TikTok is still, I mean, I thought it was just like, okay, one every now and then. And it's like been four or five times in a row and i'm like i'm just thinking first of all i'm thinking about like post an out of order clip post how about some original fucking content that is genuinely funny from this company you know or post like what barstool is it back if you were to be like what's barst about? Would you tell me it's like gender reveals and puppies and babies? Like, what? What are we doing? And I know, you know, people are like, I almost argued the other side of it when people were like, I thought it was barstool sports.

Like, there definitely is some pop culture, gay shit that we, you know, gossip and all these things. But, like, not just jet, like, regular old, like, look how cute this is. I don't know. Shut the fuck up, man. Not my. Not my Arsenal. I don't know which one of them runs it. I hope it's Jack Mack so I can just be mean to him.

Anybody else, I'll have to be like, I'm sorry. I didn't really mean it. With Jack Mack, I can be like, what the fuck are you doing, man? Yeah. They just need to combine their two things. It needs to be like the baby and you need to be like hey yo fam he really he was really glazing his teacher that day it's like some teacher crying that like a kid gave him a gift or some shit like that fuck this place ridiculous uh all right

voicemail shall we while we're talking business about barstool, we should talk about little in-house stuff with KFC Radio. Something we never, I think, really explained publicly. Because at the time, I think it was probably a little too fresh. But for whatever reason, we never discussed some of the shuffling of our team. Specifically, our former social media person. You probably have to be a true, you know, real fan watching every day and following every day to know that there was a blip on the radar where was our social media person.

She started out as the, she worked social media and worked for the Barstool sports store. So her job was like do black Friday and sales and post everything on social and make sure that the store runs well and she did a really good job at that and she told everybody i don't want to work at the store i want to work on a brand and we had an opening for that it was like we need like an official social media person i believe i'm pretty sure she was like, I want to work for KFC Radio. That was certainly the message I heard. Right.

At least that was conveyed to me. It wasn't told to me by her lips, but I heard that. That might have been Chuck and Gaz being like, we need to put this girl somewhere. I'm going to tell them that she loves the show, because I think it's a match made in heaven. Because initially, I did not think it was a fit. Judging a book by its cover, I would have been like this girl hates ksc

radio she doesn't want to hear like dick jokes and like all the dumb shit we talk about um but she joined the group and right away was like her sense of humor kind of was jiving and like she was our numbers were up and i was kind of like okay like that's the lesson don't judge a book by its cover and then fast forward not even like six months and things start to go south and like our numbers are bad our work the social media stuff is bad i think she wasn't really even around right yeah she used to go she got hurt for a while she got hurt yeah but she was i think she used to go to our live shows and started to not go to a couple of those and uh and so i was kind of like i think it's time that we maybe move on and get a new one and that's when we were informed that um it was they were kind of

like oh that's good because this it's a mutual feeling i don't think she wants to be there either and i was like oh okay and that's when uh chuck told me um that it's because she kind of no longer wants to work with KFC Radio because we're too anti-Christ. We are literally the anti-Christ podcast, which is such a wild thing to say. Anti. They're anti-Christ. Jesus Christ. And it is. The definition ofan himself is anti-christ it's also a testament to the show that while we had a social media manager who was presumably

actively working against us because we were acting against the name of the lord like we're still doing pretty good we were getting sabotaged by a soldier of jesus who was out here basically you know like preaching preaching the word and she was she was it was like a crusade for her and she was like on a missionary when i heard that because like i i never had a bad interaction it was you know i know i've never been like wowed by a social media person so that was kind of like run of the mill it was like yeah you know it's kind of hang out and play on their phone while we talk. And then they post the videos and that's it. And it was just like, oh, that's what social media people do.

And then I think it was after she left where I finally heard the term. It was like, yeah, she said you guys are anti-Christ. I was like, she says we're the anti-Christ? No, not like that. She's your anti-Christ. And I was like, I guess if you held my feet to the eternal flame i guess i would be anti christ but i actually i don't think i'm anti christ i'm definitely not anti christ i'm anti catholicism i'm anti the bible i wouldn't say i'm anti it i

personally do not do it i wouldn't say like i, yes. But if I were to really break down like the... If I was like... Like Jesus preaches like turn the other cheek, be a good person, be generous, be nice. Yeah. I'm down with that. Catholicism preaches give me all your money, apologize for everything you do or you burn in eternal flames. I'm all set on that you know like uh the other day shea got her first first reconciliation it's the first time you have to go to the priest if you're not familiar with it there's communion

where you eat the bread but prior to that your first reconciliation is the first time you do confession, where you have to go to a priest and confess your sins. My daughter was seven at the time, eight at the time. I kept telling her, I was like, you're perfect. I said, don't even worry about this. You're perfect. You have not done anything wrong. Don't worry.

You know, I think you go up there and you say like I didn't listen to my parents and one time I yelled at my brother you know what the fuck did these kids have to confess to to an adult it's fucking insane to teach them that like what this is how you're gonna you know first we gotta drop the water

on your head to wash original sin off of you in case you die as a baby that way you'll get into heaven. And when you're, you know, in second grade, you confess all your sins to us. Then you can start eating Jesus' flesh. He's like, what? I hate all of this. It's crazy.

I from forgetting until right now we used to have to confess, do confessions every Thursday in high school. Confessions are the best. Well, I guess when you buy into the system, you're like, I'm good. But you don't even have to buy in. No guilt.

Like, it really is like high, I guess, kind of therapy. Bro, I would be in there, and I'd be like, I masturbate all the time. And he'd be like, all right. And I'd be like. The priest was like, me too. Yeah. Want to do it together. I drink a lot. To the point of black eye, I'd be like, oh right. And I'd be like. The priest was like, me too. Yeah. Want to do it together. I drink a lot.

And he'd be like, to the point of black eye. I'd be like, oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. And he'd be like. And you can't do anything about it. And he'd be like, all right. Three Hail Marys. And I'm like, word.

I would walk out floating on air. I know. I mean, I guess. I might become in pro-Christ. This whole segment might have backfired. Let's go to church. Let's go to church. Let's go to church. Dude, it was.

I mean, the notion. But it was like, it was in high school. We had to do a lot. We did a lot of confession. And I remember like, I'd walk out like joking about it. But like now thinking back on it, I think I walked out feeling pretty good. The notion that you could be like on your deathbed and be like, fuck. I really, seriously, I'm sorry for murdering those 37 people and technically

if you really mean it good to go that's the rule if you really mean it you gotta let me in bitch uh crazy but so we are the number one misogynist we are the number one masculine number one feminist and number one anti-chChrist podcast on the internet. Pretty good. Cheers. We are... I almost want like some, like a KFC radio with like the stick, the pentagram and maybe some merch like that. Number one anti-Christ podcast in the world. We should have one of those.

You know, there's those people who are like devil worshippers, but they're not bad people. They don't believe it's like – we talked about this before, right? Yeah. Yeah, it's just kind of like a counterculture, alternative religion. We should have one of those guys on. Maybe – I think they'd be boring. I think they'd come on and they'd be like, yeah, no, we just like people.

Like, bah. Nah. Talk to me about fire and brimstone. Before we do voicemails and before it's too late to talk more about the Super Bowl, I had an interesting thought the other day. Watching the game. What was that? Like fourth quarter, George Kittle ran out of the game for a little bit.

Remember that? Yep. I think it was like after he had that big first down. Goes to the sideline. Runs. Still running. He's running to the back. And I'm like, does this dude have to take a shit or something? Like, what's going on here? the sideline, still running. He's running to the back.

And I'm like, does this dude have to take a shit or something? Like, what's going on here? It just seemed like a crazy time. Like, if you're a guy like Kittle, I feel like if he can run and walk and see, he's playing, you know? So it just got me thinking about the hypothetical. If you were in the Super super bowl and you're talking like coming down the stretch you're an important player and you have like you're about to be racked with like wild diarrhea like it's gonna go through your white pants sort of thing

if you if you stay out there you have 125 million people watching and it's like two minute drill two minute we gotta go right now. Do you just go out there and play and shit your pants? I mean, it's the easiest guess of all time. Yeah? Absolutely. And you're just known as the guy who... Like right now, if the Niners and everything worked out the way it did,

the Niners lose and you were just the guy who shit his pants in front of 120 million people. You're the face of shitting your pants? Yeah. Like you are the face of failure and loss. It's like, I'll move off a kiddle because he's our boy but like you weren't just it's like the the getty pictures are you like you're on the floor and it's just like shit and and in the background mahomes is celebrating and taylor's kissing travis and there's you covered in poop yes i'd be like well at least we got something good out of this

to be fair to kiddle too i think it was a hand injury yeah yeah i think it was i think it was Yes. I'd be like, well, at least we got something good out of this. What about you? To be fair to Kittle, too, I think it was a hand injury. Yeah, yeah, I think it was. It was before they started talking about it. The sponsorships that you'd be getting after that? Yeah. Depends and shit? Dude wipes.

Dude wipes. Oh, my God. Dude wipes. The social media manager would be all over that one. Dude, Mincy, I think I said it on this show or I said it on a show. Mincy's reaction to dude wipes sponsoring sponsoring the Dumb Button is still my favorite. What do you do? He's like, man, you know, the Dumb Button is going to be sponsored by Dude Wipes.

This is crazy. Some jokes just write themselves. And I was like, that joke didn't write itself, Mincy. Someone did it intentionally. They wrote it. That was a written joke. It's crazy. Sometimes jokes just write themselves jackie what about you you're on your 12 and under team you are you know you're in you're in extra time what would be the it's hard to do like because i mean let's just be honest female

sports are not you know kind of on the level of the fucking Super Bowl. But if there was some sort of scenario for you where it's like do or die, there's money and fortune and fame on the line, but you also might shit yourself in front of people. That's also just so not my sense of humor. So I wouldn't be able to be funny about it in a good way at all. So then I would just have to like – I can't, no. I wouldn't – I don't think I'd be funny if I guess I do the advertising stuff like that but

like I and I think it's funny nevermind I'll take it all back but like you just say what are you talking about like you said 20 minutes ago you guys sometimes you gotta take a risk to get rich and like maybe that risk is I'm not taking that risk well she doesn't really want to be other avenues

how about yeah I mean like what Well, she doesn't really want to. And they're like, there has to be other avenues. How about, yeah, I mean, like, what if, you know, fucking Avenger style, Doctor Strange, he sits there and he does all the math and he's like, the only way for you to get, like, I have seen the future. Every avenue, you end up, mediocre life, very much middle of the road but there's this one scenario where you were you know getting interviewed on the news like Frank the Tank style and you

shit yourself but you become America's darling because of it like Jennifer Lawrence trips up the stage of the Oscars but she also but like shit falls out of her dress and you become I'll even do you one better Florence trips up the stage of the Oscars, but she also, but like shit falls out of her dress. I'll even do you one better. I'll help you out a little bit.

You just rip a giant fart. But you become like, you know, call her daddy. What do you, what do you say? Yes or no? I,

am I like happy? No. Well, you tell me you have like yeah i mean the real answer of course you tell me you have like you know uh success and fame and money and like you're doing your own show whatever but also people are like yo we love you jackie we love you so much and they all go every time they see you they do a fart noise and a fart dance and that's like your signal i can't like when people are like yo viva we have you you have to go like we do a picture it's like on three no no no i can't no i can't and you're just so you're just gonna go live a regular boring life yeah i don't care that much i guess i thought i thought i thought she had it in her dog she She doesn't have that dog in her.

People doing, no. What you just described, no. Hey, Jackie! And you do it back? Oh, man. Jackie does a double gun back.

Pump, pump! Yeah, yeah. When you zap it up and then you go, everybody farts while their fists hit. Fart queen! I think we should just start doing this to her anyway. I'll cut it out.

I'm just going to cut it out. Yo, you guys know Jackie, a chick with baloney nipples and a fart? Net worth 50 million. Please stop. All right, voicemail time that was like the sometimes people you guys know the chick who farts like no

baloney nipples like oh yeah yeah yeah yeah not anymore I also like I feel like on the last episode I didn't make it clear that the baloney nipples

are fixed yeah the episode you weren't here we were talking about they like they treat them like an uncrustable last episode, I didn't make it clear that the bologna nipples are fixed. The episode you weren't here, we were talking about they treat them like an uncrustable. Just like a little cookie cutter. I'll be honest, up until right now, I thought the bologna nipples was a joke. I didn't know they were real. Well, they were.

So they just shrunk them down? Yeah. That's almost in a weird way. I mean, there's probably, I don't know. I was going to say, you probably got some bomb-ass nipples now because they're man-made. You know what I mean? So it's almost better to be like, my nipples sucked when I was a kid, but now a fucking Hollywood plastic surgeon made them like, yeah, they're like Jackie's nose.

Exactly. They also just pasted them too high, though. Oh, yeah. Yeah yeah yeah yeah you've told me about that you have high nips yeah well like they get looks fine on the whatever but i just i can't tell where they are anymore like oh yeah you were like weren't you like one time like i think my nipples right here and then you're like wait no it's over here yeah like like like right now it's like if i like pin the tail yeah tail on the donkey type, I miss it every time. Because it's not naturally to me.

So it's like. And then they just. I nailed it. I nailed it. Yeah. Well, let's see. If you can't move them. I'm talking you can't even move it over.

As soon as you touch, that's all you get. Yeah. Got him. Got him. Yeah. Yeah. You can't do that, Jack? Can't do that. can't do that well like

go over to only fans she's doing it because i'm trying to gauge like didn't get him no i didn't get them wow i got that like how far off are you like a fingertip away i feel like it's like the geoguessr game is that a standard thing like with no it's also just likeoguessr game Is that a standard thing? No it's also just like I have a weird coordination thing I do think It's just a Jackie thing So it's not the nipples it's your fingers?

Is it a weird coordination thing? Can't find your nipples with your eyes closed? No I think This is like a different thing There's one side of my body that I've always talked about this Right one side is like a like a different thing but like i'm just not like there's one side of my body that like oh yeah i've always talked about this right one side's like dead that's that's when when uh dave like said he wanted to talk to me i thought he was gonna talk about the fact that like there was one time i was he was coming out of the building and i was going in the building and i

just like ran into the glass i just missed the doorway by like like the doorway was here and i just didn't make it and i ran to the glass and I had an audible, ow. Wait, this is in Vegas or here? No, this is here. But like, it was like a week ago. It was like a week before and I was like, he's probably going to address it. Because like to his eyes, like there was a full doorway and then just like me right next to it, not making the doorway at all. I love that she said I gave an audible, ow.

And it was like a sad, oh help me and i was just like he that's probably he wouldn't that be amazing jack you gotta talk to you come up to my my hotel room remember that time you walked into the fucking window because then when then when he like sat down he was just like so what's your deal and i was like this is about the doorway i is definitely about the time i walked into the press she's just like sorry i have like really bad coordination well so then i then i never mind i'm socially awkward apparently is what it is then i waited i was, what do you mean? Man, I wish I had that on camera. And then I was like, I work on KFC radio.

He goes, no, I know that. What's your deal? Oh my God, it was so scary. We got to have them back. We got to have them on our show, Bree and Grace. But we went on their show. If you haven't heard it, go listen to us on Plan Bree or Planet Bree. But the interaction that Grace talked about with Dave.

Yeah. Oh, my God. You didn't hear this one? They were out at like a bar or a club, some shit that was, I think, a big deal. Because Dave and Brianna, everybody were out together. And Dave says what he said was that looks like brianna's boyfriend and grace like didn't hear the whole thing or just kind of like spazzed out and just said shane gillis and and he was like what and she

was like yeah no wait i don't know never mind and he was like i said that looks like brie's boyfriend and you said yes shane gillis and then and i think she was like i thought you said my boyfriend right yeah that was like you're dating and then he was like what so wait no my boyfriend shane gill? No, never mind. I just walked away. That's crazy. I would never come to work again. I would Ohio-tate that. I'd get in the car and be like, Dave, I quit.

Goodbye. Just drive until I'm dead. I've almost hit Dave so many times just turning corners here. Never spoken to him. Just almost ran into him so many times. Dude, it's a beautiful thing just not be on his radar. Sucks to be Jackie. To confirm, Jackie did call me right before she went off the meter.

She said, I'm really concerned about this is the doorway. That is confirmed. That is... This is the essence of Jackie. And this is why she will be a superstar. But we just got to figure out the right way to do it. Because, like, that would have been like the episode like i could imagine if it was just like all right i'm you know the vlog for the day

is like i'm i'm gearing up for my big meeting with dave i think it's because i walked into the glass and her telling that story and being scared about it and then have nothing to do with her walking it was despite the fact that we told you it. Not that we knew, but it's definitely about the fact that you're very good at this. Yeah. And you're still like, nope. It's about the glass door. Hilarious. Alright, voicemail time. Land of Bad is a

heart-pounding, action-packed film that will keep you on the edge of your seat. Action Reloaded says buckle up for Land of Bad, a pulse-pounding thriller. The film captures a mission that goes awry and liam hemsworth all right oh no we know chris hemsworth chris hemsworth is our guy but liam is equally uh that dude he plays a young g-tech airman who has to rely on drone pilot played by russell crowe forget about it forget about it this movie is a hemsworth and russell

crowe doing drones. And you got to use, you got to be my eyes in the sky. Oh my God, forget it. Imagine if you had Russell Crowe being your eyes in the sky, being like, you got to go this way, you got to go this way, do it this way. I mean, that'd be incredible. The film shows a close-knit brotherhood that develops between soldiers.

The mantra of leave no one behind is deep-rooted in all that serve, whether you're in combat or doing your job from a computer screen. Like here at KFC Radio, leave no man behind. Unless it's Jackie and then we're like, we'll get her later, don't worry. Land of Bad is the first time brothers Liam and Luke Hemsworth

have been together on the big screen, so you get double the Hemsworths plus Russell Crowe. Incredible. Land of Bad, only in theaters this Friday. All right, I think we all come from some pretty crazy mothers. But mine is a little special kind of paranoid. So I go on a lot of vacations and do white people things, as she says. And before I do those things, she likes to watch movies on scary things that can happen when you do those white people things.

Like, for example, when I go skiing, she likes to watch this movie where a couple gets stuck on a ski lift and they get attacked by wolves. I do NASCAR content, so when I go to a NASCAR race, she likes to watch Final Destination where a tire comes and, like, kills, like, 50 people in the crowd and a car flips into it and everything else. So do you have any stories of just overly paranoid mothers or just not paranoid enough? Also, I do NASCAR content.

You said just do it and they'll find you. Find me, motherfuckers. See you at the Daytona 500, first of all. Yeah, we'll be there with the Out and About Boys and Frankie Borelli and Large and Spider. We're going to do the Daytona up big. I got a new update from my mom. The other day, while I was in Vegas,

my mom texted me. It's crazy how bad the search for my text messages are. When did they change that? It's just like, I just want ma. And I type in ma, and it gives me every other fucking word that has ma in it. Really? Just give me ma. My mom texted me Thursday at 4.30 in Vegas.

Someone else fell down a flight of stairs. Dot, dot, dot. And I said, who? Are you okay? No response. And I'm like, question mark, question mark, what's going on? I call her

and I hear us, me and you talking i'm like what the fuck is going on and it's an episode of kfc radio going on and i'm like what are you talking about right now what is happening is everyone okay who fell down the stairs and she responds i'm listening to your radio making fun of someone who fell down the stairs it was the episode where you said the most white trash thing in the world is being an injured adult yeah she still thinks that when i went sleepwalking i've told this a million times i didn't fall down the stairs but she thinks that how i got injured was falling down the stairs i said first of all why are you listening to my show i said there are

fucking rules in place and you've been following them for about 15 years why are you listening to my show? I said, there are fucking rules in place and you've been following them for about 15 years. Why are you stopping now? And second of all, how the fuck was I supposed to know that you are listening to my show when you just text me, someone fell down the stairs? How am I supposed to go,

oh, she's talking about, she's listening to KFC radio. We talked about, I mean, absolutely crazy. I said, I didn't fall down the stairs. I felt done running down the hallway. And you are absolutely not allowed to listen to my show. And she said, okay, well, you're right.

And then she goes, but it comes up sometimes in my YouTube. And I go, well, that's actually great to hear. So we had this like back and forth. Are you kidding me? She said, what do you want me to do? And she said, kill my YouTube. And I was like, I'm really happy to hear that. The algorithm's working.

That was the final. I said, that's really great to hear we've been working on the algorithm. Like, I don't know. Like,

so great that it's in your feed. Don't click on it. Do we have any, I mean, paranoid is not really, your mother's not, she's on the other end, right? My mother's on the complete other end. Yeah, whatever the opposite of paranoid, she don't give – your mother is not – she's on the other end, right?

My mother is on the complete other end. Yeah, whatever the opposite of paranoid, she doesn't give a fuck. Doesn't care at all. My mom is – However, I have basically an exact same story, which just wasn't with my mom. It was with my buddy's mom when we played – we had a hockey tournament in the Czech Republic. And it was our first time ever. I was 15. It was the year before I went to Spain.

And so it was my first time ever. I was 15. It was the year before I went to Spain. And so it was my first time traveling internationally alone. And my best friend was a goalie on the team. And his mom was like, you guys have to watch something before you go to the Czech Republic. And we're like, okay. And she made us watch train spotting. And we're like, did you think we were going to put heroin in our asses? She's like, this is what could happen if you break the law. Guess what?

You didn't put heroin in your ass. I did not, but I did buy weed, though. My mom has become totally paranoid. My grandma, her mom, was always so nervous about everything like as a little kid you're jumping on the bed and she'd be like get down you're gonna die and i was like what i'm just jumping on the bed like what do you mean playing with like a you know you're playing like a sword fight with a stick and she'd be like stop i was gonna die and we always used to make fun of her for it and i'm just like slowly like watching my mom do that if i if i'm with my kids and i like let's say we're facetiming right with with grandma and i If I'm with my kids and I...

Let's say we're FaceTiming with grandma and I'm hanging out with the kids. If I go upstairs in my house for a second, she's like, don't leave those kids. Don't leave those kids by themselves. I'm in the same house lately and I'm just watching her slowly become a ball of nerves.

Like everything. I guess it's just life. It just beats you down until anxiety takes over your brain. But I feel like in my experience, it's always been the opposite. But what is it about life now that makes people more concerned? I don't know, because back in the day, it used to be

like whatever, right? And it's definitively much safer now. Yeah, you would think. You would think. If anything, like, back in the day, you would think if anything like back in the day you know if if like now my mom it's like don't make sure your phone is never dead make sure you always like can call the police make sure she was like we need to get them phones to make sure that they know how to call the police or know how to call special numbers for people and i was like what did you do 20 years ago yeah like did you worry about us

having phones no even like you just let us go out it's like the world is just getting safer so why do people get more nervous about what's happening i i do feel like there's something about uh at least in my experience living longer just means more time for life to throw shit your way. Yeah. When you're in your 20s, the worst thing that maybe has happened to you is you had a teenage relationship breakup. By the time you're 30, you've had several breakups, you've been fired, you've gotten injured, you've had some health issues.

It's just the more years, the more time for shit to happen right so by the time you're like i don't know 70 maybe you're just freaking out about everything because you're just like i've seen i've seen what this world has to offer but like when you're saying like when you when you talk about uh i think you said on plan very weird it's a different time where like you talk about when you like you can't leave your kids for like three seconds yeah like what what do you think makes the human brain because you're certainly not alone like what makes like parents these days think like that probably the uh the you know how we always say it's not actually more dangerous we just hear it more yeah it's probably that it's just like i've seen a million kidnapping

stories and things like that where like back in the day, you didn't watch true crime and shit. You went to the fucking – the park and if you lose sight of your kids for a second, you realize it's because they're like inside the tunnel. And when I lose sight of my kids, I'm like somebody has definitely picked them up and put them in a van. Every time, my heart like – just for a split second and I see them, I go, okay, they're still alive. It's just – It sounds like a nightmare. Nightmare, bro're still alive. It's just – It sounds like a nightmare. Night-mare, bro. Nightmare.

Next up. What's up, guys? I'm an ecologist, so I can be your animal correspondent. So you guys were talking about – Wait, sorry. What are you saying? An ecologist. We'll wait for the zoologist to call you.

I was going to say. At first I thought you said in colleges. I was like, what does that mean? I don't know what an ecologist is. Wait, let's –'s don't look it up what do you think an ecologist is um definitely study ecology what do you think ecology is study the ecosystem so they're probably pretty good but like to me i think that is like plants and you know the environment and shit not like just the animals i it It definitively is. Animals?

No, no, no. We're right. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A person who studies the natural relationship between air, land, water, animals, and plants. That's like one out of the five. Yeah. I want a zoologist.

I want an animalologist. What's up, guys? I'm an ecologist, so i can be your animal correspondent um so you guys were talking about domesticating bears and so domestication is just uh selective breeding for friendly traits so uh humans are domesticated and uh elephants domesticated themselves um so you could do it with bears, but it would require a lot of bears, and it would be pretty hard to fund. So if you guys threw me a couple bucks,

I could probably get that project started for you. And then a question I have is if you started a KFC radio science fund, what kind of scientific questions would you guys try to get at the bottom of? Oh, I like that one. How did elephants domesticate themselves what does that mean we say is it development of friendly traits so like that means they

individually like on their own were like I'm gonna breed with you because you're like you know you have traits that I like like when we do it it's like okay this poodle has smarts and this golden doodle we like the fur so we're gonna like bleed yeah but the elephants did that on their own Okay, this poodle has smarts, and this golden doodle, we like the fur, so we're going to, like, bleed. Yeah, yeah. But the elephants did that on their own?

It certainly is the vibe I got, which makes sense. I want to... Actually, all... It makes sense for all animals. But they're just... So the elephants are like, you seem funny. I like that. Yeah, you have a good sense of humor. Whereas bears are like, you seem badass.

You can kill. That revs my engine. Yeah. So we need to make animals horny in a different way. Wild African elephants may have domesticated themselves. like that yeah you have a good bear's are like you see you can kill that revs my engine yeah so we need to make animals horn in a different way elephants may have domesticated themselves wild elephants man can you grow that process that has only been determined by identified in bonobos and humans for thousands of years people have domesticated or bred other animals some scientists think that a similar phenomenon called self-domestication have given humans and bonobos what's a bonobo bonobo a what monkey monkey during self-domestication individuals who are less aggressive and more cooperative and more likely to successfully breed and pass on

their genes yeah that seems like not nature but i guess what you're saying is true it's like i want to fuck like the guy who can kill and yeah yeah and this is like you look like a good mom right so we just we just have to change we have to get animals horny in different ways oh my god the other day at school the teacher in science class told shay about some fucking bird family where they just uh i think we talked about this a couple like a month or so ago on the show where they just leave behind the the grunts because like it's dangerous for the pack yeah so they just left this little chickadee like to like fend for itself she's been crying for a week a week she'll just we'll just be chilling she's watching her ipad we're playing a game i just look over tears

streaming down her face like oh my god what's wrong are you okay she's like put the babies on the table and if you don't stop crying that's what's gonna happen to you I'm gonna throw you out there I'm gonna leave you out to fend for yourself what are these teachers doing

this is the same my other kid's teacher told him about 9-11 this year you're talking about terrorist attacks you're talking about you know baby animals getting ripped apart

to shreds in nature Christ just teach them about you know, baby animals getting ripped apart to shreds in nature. Christ, just teach them about, you know, reading and math. Fucking A. Do you think that animals have, like, a sense of humor? Uh, I think, I think, um, isn't there, isn't there one that, um,

there is one of those things where it's like, dolphins are the only other animals that, that, uh, oh, it's, it's, it's like dolphins are the only other animals that, that, uh, Oh, it's, it's, it's felines are the only other thing that hunt for fun.

They hunt for sport. Gangster. Um, yeah, they just be like, I want to kill you. Isn't that funny? I don't know,

but I would imagine monkeys have some semblance of like, that was funny, right? Hell yeah. But even like dogs, like the way that there's so many like funny dog videos, like half of them have to be yeah. But even, like, dogs, like, the way that there's so many, like, funny dog videos, like, half of them have to be them, like, just trying to... Oh, dogs have a sense for the moment, of course. No, but I think dogs are doing that shit for food.

You know, it's like, if I do this silly thing, they're going to give me a treat. Yeah. I don't know. We were never a big, like... We didn't really give our dogs the treats that often. But they did funny things? Yeah. Like what?

When they saw you were excited, they'd be more excited. That's different than being funny. But that's what a sense of humor is, is just doing things to get a rise out of people for your own...

Yeah, like, oh, that made them happy. I'm going to do that again. That was funny. Yeah, yeah,

I guess. It's just like, your dog's not going to run up to you and nut tap you and be like, hehehe. They might just be like,

oh, let's bark and lick and roll over and shit. But it's not going to be like, yo, I'm going let's bark and lick and like roll over and shit but it's not gonna be like yo i'm gonna pee on your foot how funny is that um what so what if we could pool all our money together what scientific question do we want answered say it no like it's not like it's nothing funny it's just like i can't get timothy chalamet out of my head bro again that's not the question what are you talking about like my first thing was gonna be

like reference that the first thing i thought of my head was reference the last time we were asked a question like this and say what's timothy chalamet like with a pussy and then i was like no don't say that we already talked about timothy chalamet this week and then i was trying to think of something else to say and i just kept going timothy chalamet so we need like a scientific study on how do you how do you come out of the closet what is it like to think about something no but that would have to probably be we would have to do some sort of study on like self-esteem and anxiety and shit right like let's figure this shit out yeah let's let's

nip this one in the bud let's figure out figure out how we get rid of these suicidal thoughts and stuff. I think I kind of had my first suicidal thought the other day. Really? Not like I'm going to kill myself. Late to the party. I know. Well, it was the first – because I truly have never been like – it was the first time I was ever like, if I was dead, I just won't have to deal with these problems anymore. I remember when I was fresh from New York College. have to deal with these problems anymore i remember my was freshman year college but like were you thinking that or were you like i'm thinking like uh uh there's like the razor or

there's like no there's a window the founders hall st michael's i as like i like was sitting at my computer i looked to my left and i was like dude if i just fucking jump out that thing i don't deal with any of this shit yeah that's okay so that's what i had you beat me you win took me another 20 years i was just like all this would be gone then i very quickly was like i'm not gonna kill myself yeah no yeah really quickly what um i mean i actually if the real answer for me is like i uh i just want to i would put it all into like time travel black holes wormhole sort of thing you know i i don't think i'd have any yeah well we know this you don't care about that that sort of like knowledge yeah like i think the

reason i couldn't think of timothy chalamet is because like i i don't have any like i i'd be cute like i wouldn't i wouldn't be like don't tell me but there's nothing i don't i feel like i have to know either like what what is it about black holes so curiosity just like the idea of like what we were talking about earlier about like time travel is like because of traveling at the speed of light and the idea of like that is like time travel is kind of possible but is it like i want to know i want to how is time travel kind of possible it's kind of like uh it's more like time travel is pretty impossible well yeah like i'm just saying that there is like scientific theory theorems that that say time travel might be possible. Not just like,

in the movies, we have a machine that time travels. There's like, because of the way the speed of light works, and you can like, it's almost like you ever see that thing where they fold the piece of paper in half? Like a wormhole kind of allows you to time travel by like, by If you've seen Interstellar, you've seen this.

It's like, if you're on point a and point b you got to travel this whole distance but if you bend this now those two things are touching okay so that essentially kind of proves if you can do that that's time traveling because from here to here it takes this amount of time but now you've done it this quickly you feel me as much as i possibly can so like it so so like let's say again you're you're at a and there's b everybody at a continues to grow and live and get to b yeah but you did a little whoop-de-dee-whoop time travel so you get there and everybody's old and shit but you just cut corners okay i don't that's like a theory you know cut corners. Okay. That's like a theory.

But how is that a theory? There's thoughts about wormholes and black holes and things like that in the universe that allow you to travel that. Okay. So that's the stuff that interests me. I don't think a KFC radio science fund could figure that out. We got it, guys. Yeah, yeah.

Go fund me. $163. I was going to say, how much money do you get? Yeah, so that's why that stubs out the window. So it had to be a more. Every time I smoke weed, I understand why. I think I understand how it's all like one big loop. So we just need me and an edible.

I was going to say, we've heard this enough where I think it's time for you to put the cameras on next time you're high. Yeah, maybe because we always hear about how you solve the universe, but then you wake up and you're like, fuck, I forgot everything.

So let's just have the, the proven, let's have the video. I'll record it next time. But like, it's, it's honestly, it's just like, I can let's have the video i'll record it next time but like it's it's honestly it's just like i can't explain it in human words i would say i think we could put enough money into the world into the fund to figure out traffic. Like, why does traffic have to be? But traffic can't...

You can never fix traffic as long as humans are driving. Well, I guess maybe then that's our answer. We need to fund cars. Because if you're at a red light, car 1 and 10 all have to start moving at the same time. Right. And that has to be automated. Why? Why can all have to start moving at the same time. Right. And that has to be automated. Why?

Why can't we all just move at the same time? Why can't you fucking all? Green, press the pedal. The human nature won't do it. You won't do it until you see the car in front of you start moving. So that delays everything. Yeah, so there's always an inherent delay. Yeah.

But also just the idea of all these. Why? Until cars become trains right right they're talking about that they're doing one from la to vegas really yeah that's like the start of the intercontinental type shit it's gonna be high speed why are we so behind on trains uh the airlines are like they stop it from happening because it would basically put them out of business so it's all just like lobbying and shadowy, like, you know, oh, the guy who can like develop this just conveniently like crashed and died. You know what I mean?

That sort of shit. Like people end up dead. Patents just like disappear. There's like all this money in it that's just like, hey, if you make sure that this doesn't go through, we'll just give you like a billion dollars. All that sort of stuff but that's where i'm always we had that discussion like a like earlier this year about i was talking about nikolai tesla and all the advanced sort of uh energy and we were saying like why not just get down with that stuff yeah right right like if you are already in power and you have the money put your investment into the train rather than these old ass planes and then you'll just be the

head of but i guess these people are like, if it ain't broke, you know? Yeah. All right. Last voicemail. If he fights, I just listened to Tuesday's episode,

Kevin get ducks. Ducks are awesome. My wife and I have had ducks for a few years. Right. Um, they're super hardy. Like you said, I live outside Chicago and we have like a polar vortex, negative 20. They're fine. They're chilling.y, like you said. I live outside Chicago, and we have a polar vortex, negative 20.

They're fine. They're chilling. Usually, it says they can go up to negative 30 before you really got to worry about them. Build a duck coop, we did. It's super easy. There's directions online on how to, you know, you got money. Hire somebody to build it. What am I talking about?

But the eggs are awesome. Yeah, get directions. Duck eggs are super high in fat, so they make cakes and cookies richer. They eat all the grubs and shit in the summer in your yard. They're super cool, low maintenance, a lot easier than chickens. Chickens suck. They

shit all over your house when you're raising them as chicks. Don't do that. Stick with ducks. Yeah. That's it. You're getting ducks. That was what I needed. But if I was on the fence.

That would put me over the edge. That would have put me over the edge. I'll be honest. I was not and probably will not eat their eggs. Yeah. That I'm not going to do. I did not. I do not.

I want chicken eggs. I was watching that thinking this would sell me. This will sell Kevin. Despite the fact that none of this is important yeah like don't worry the coop's easy to build and the eggs are delicious like kevin's not doing either of those things yeah i mean i could maybe make uh like he said if you're baking like a cake and you put a duck egg in instead of an a uh chicken egg yeah i guess i'd be okay with that i'm not eating duck eggs like like like yeah i'm sure they look different different color different

size different texture i'm just out on on the duck eggs also i think it's weird but what are you gonna do you're just gonna throw them at the wall then or you're just gonna let a million ducks live out there well well no you're thinking they'll hatch into like a duck you're saying they have to wait how does that work? Science fund. If a chicken lays an egg – That would be so funny if you look at me. I don't eat the ducks, but I don't want any more. She used to have a graveyard of shattered eggshells in the backyard. Keegan's doing science experiments all the time.

You got to see how high – Ah, broke again. Kevin's a Dr. Kevorkian of ducks. He's fucking Planned Parenthood. I'm just murdering duck fetuses. I can't have more ducks out here. Ducks v. Clancy in a fucking abortion amendment. When a duck lays an animal, a chicken a duck lays an animal,

a chicken or duck lays an egg, at that point, it's fertilized and will become an animal. Will become that. Yeah, as long as you sit on it and all that shit. Yeah.

And we just eat them quick enough? Yes. I've seen someone, I've seen a video of someone do a TikTok of buying eggs at the supermarket and then they put it in an incubator. And so it's just a heat thing then that's to say a certain temperature

because they they can't do anything else to it because it's covered in a shell so you can get anything in there yeah yeah it must be heat yeah so as long as it's sitting in the fridge in the carton like cold like you're good yeah you're just gonna your your garage fridge instead of full of beers is just full of duck eggs you don't know what the fuck to do with. No, I'll probably throw them and Keegan will hit them with a bat. That's what we'll do. We're like Mischief Knights. Throw them out of the house.

It's bizarrely dark. Yeah. It's just like, ping, murdered duck. Ping, murdered baby. Ping, murdered baby boy. Ping. I did not think about the duck, the egg side of this at all uh i definitely did not and will not be building a duck coop i will probably have someone build a

pretty cool one yeah i'm almost picturing i hate these houses in real life for humans but imagine a duck has like an ultra modern like malibu like there's those like square glass houses if that's like what your duck chills in just make the bougiest ducks in the world they wear like suits they have like a little bow tie on all the time and shit i i gotta i gotta get two ducks and if they're like what's a male duck a mallard no A mallard is just like a breed. Type of duck? Male and female. Ducks are male and female? The word duck? I believe so, yeah.

So what is... So... And I... You know, obviously... Males... They just look different. And so females lay eggs and males don't? Correct.

Do males come in ducks at all? Yeah. You come inside them and then they shit out an egg? Mm-hmm. Okay. Same hole. Same hole? Same hole, brother man.

Same hole. I thought eggs were like a period. I don't know. I'm not an ecologist, but I'm 99.9% sure no. No, I think you can, the same way, you know, female humans like put out eggs and sometimes they're fertilized and sometimes they're not if that if you have a a female duck and there's no guys around to fuck her i think she still will generate an egg it's just not fertilized or no she just won't generate eggs i would have thought no but again i don't know for sure just this there's this duck who's just like my iron is so low i am so fucking angry right now i'm bloatedated. I'm annoyed. I'm crying for no reason.

Do ducks have the most beautiful colors? Yeah, man. That one. The green head and the blue. Green head's the mallard. That's the duck. Yeah. That is the duck.

That's the duck you want to eat. But that's not the duck I'm getting. Again, I have to get these. Pull up runner ducks. Runner ducks are the ones that can live. So they're just kind of like, they're almost like deformed ducks who stand tall. They're the ones that kind of walk around.

They're like a half penguin. I'm halfway to buying a penguin here. I just have to figure out how and where to buy ducks. The internet. I'm sure, yeah. But i don't want to link up with whoa what were those things those are like painted or something right they got hats on okay they got hats on i will not i am a not a fan i do not like animals and clothing yeah really don't like that i hate that oh hang on a second now a little sherlock holmes outfit that's a different story i did just say

i'd put him in suits maybe maybe i'm lying i just don't like uh regular i wanted to dress stylish um okay i gotta figure out the ducks how to get ducks okay that's that's the the mission the mission for uh for you for the next steps here. Get a couple ducks. Let's get into our interview. We got our boy Rick Hoffman on KC Radio from Suits. Let's talk to him. As I was telling them, I realized this is a Gen Z thing.

I thought I had a flood with these. They were like, no, it's actually kind of like with Gen Z. So I'm like, so if it's showing kind of like with gen zero so i'm like yeah so if it's showing i don't care can i do this all right all right so that's where it is yeah we got a couple around i think that's the wide up there you got it so i'm just gonna get comfortable yeah yeah yeah i usually just wear pajamas this is me dressing up honestly you walked in i was like damn it looks good yeah things are things are great um it's nice to be home um this is where i'm from oh okay New York I uh yeah Long Island

where about Roslyn Heights okay and uh what are your thoughts on Chaminade I know Chaminade well we played them

in football yeah do you like do you like Chaminade guys Chaminade guys yeah I mean they're the fucking worst Chaminade

so I in high school a lot of my friends Irish, Catholic, Italian, blue collar. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Those are like the –

Those are my – The Chaminade pricks were the exact opposite of that. Right. So from what I remember, if that's what Chaminade – yeah, no. My man. Yeah. Yeah. Not even close.

They get so mad every time i do this i go like anytime i make fun of shaman i like it goes like viral within the school and they hate me and the feeling is mutual yeah so wait where are you uh no i actually all my best friends are from so i'm like uh my my high school my college roommate who was like my best friend went to shaman odd so i eventually met and came to you know hang out with all of his friends from shaman odd so they are like literally like probably like 10 of my best friends they're all the truly great people they really are all of like the best people in the world i know are from shaman odd but i they always are like busting my balls because i'm kind of like the one dude who's not from shaman

odd so they're always like are you going to go to the game tonight? Are you going to go to like the function? Why aren't you at the Chaminade this Chaminade that? So I'm always like, fuck Chaminade. But the rest of the people there now don't know that I'm like best friends with people from Chaminade. So they think I'm being serious, which I kind of am because they are my best friends, but they're also like Chaminade pricks.

Like I get it. I get I get what's going on. I'm not even from Long Island, but I can understand the I understand what's going on there yeah i'm trying to figure out who do i have that for i don't um i mean i i didn't have it in like high school with an arch rival i had it i haven't now like just being a new york sports fan i have it like with dallas cowboy fans where do you align so you fuck dallas are you uh yankee giants yeah so i mean rangers yankee giants rangers um well fuck you too nick no nicks were well nicks were all united no no but nicks because i grew up i'm older than you guys by how many years i'm like 15 years older

than you i i've got to be at least i i grew up with bernard king yeah we're talking in the 80s when the nicks took the Celtics to Game 7. That's when the Garden – because people were like, is it like the Knicks, like Starks? We're talking 90s with Jordan. Yeah, but before that, people don't get it. That Garden used to freaking – and I mean shake. I've seen it now, and I've seen it in the 90s but in the 80s

it was, and I'll never forget it it rumbled so there's something about old stadiums like that baseball stadiums the same way too Shea used to kind of like wobble a little bit all the great stadiums they took down I'm from Massachusetts

so I don't have those but the old garden I used to love going to games with my dad in different arenas where he'd just like – Just not like the garden. He'd be angry. Yeah. I remember we went to –

I was probably 10 or so. We went to a game in Citizens Bank Park. We went to Sox Phillies or whoever Phillies. And they had the Philly Phonetic going out there with a gun, shooting hot dogs in the stands. And he just hits me. He's like, you don't need this bullshit at the Garden. He's like, the Garden, the fans, no one to cheer.

No one to watch the game. You need to please clap. Well, dude, it's true, though. It's like every break of every sport this is. We were at the Vegas Knights. Like, every break of action is sponsored by something. Music plays. There's someone on the PA.

There's a giveaway. There's a paid. It's like, I mean, I get it. It's all business, but Jesus. Yeah, no, no, no. I live in Canada and we've gone to Toronto games, whether it be Raptors or Leafs. And it's just, you know, look, when you grow up in the garden, it doesn't really get better. I would assume the Boston Garden,

the old Boston Garden was like that as well. The specific cities that, in my opinion, get it. Yeah. And then there's others where it's just, it's more of, you know, it's just a way to like Disneyland. It's entertainment. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Which honestly is probably how it should be. be yeah we were just talking before you came in about like i don't know how many more seasons i have in me as a sports fan of like true obsessive bad you know mentally bad behavior you know what i mean where you're just like you mean when you're out in the public with fans? No, just even all of it. Like just when my mood and behavior and feelings are so attached to a group of grown men I don't know playing a sport. You know, it's like it's unhealthy. No, no, absolutely. The Mets in 2022 was the final straw for me where I was like, I was emotionally crushed. Like there was a death in my family. And I was like, what the fuck is going on?

What the fuck is going on? It's a baseball team. What am I doing? What am I doing? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, I can't do that anymore. I'm too old for that shit. I got kids.

I got responsibilities. I can't be fucking crying about baseball. Well, you are too old for that shit that I am certainly too old for. As you know, now having a nine-year-old last night at the super bowl even though he's a giants fan like i am he did like uh the kansas city chiefs and he's starting to get like throw down a crayon or whatever he was throwing down i was like what's wrong with you it was his first he's nine so i remember him while i was nine to have my first memory of a real super bowl and he wanted the Chiefs to win for whatever reason.

And in those ages, as you get into the teens and you get in your 20s, you are so – it's all about your team. Oh, my God. My daughter is eight, but she's more of like a girly girl. So she was watching for Taylor. She looked like a teenager. She had like cheerleader outfit on, wrote Taylor on her with face paint and shit. My son is only six, so he's still not really there.

And I was even talking to him about going to a Knicks game, and I took him to a Mets game. We got a suite. I'm trying to do it big for him. And he said to me the other day, he's like, I don't really want to go, though. And I was like, why not? He goes, because all you do is just look at them.

And I was like, God, if it was only that way. I wish I just look at them and i was like god if it was only that way i wish i just looked at them i wish i didn't obsess over them and freak out over them and all that so i don't feel the pain as much anymore with the giants i well you won two you got two of the best super bowls of all time in your back pocket well yes but i mean yes in recent years having those two that are like you know you're saying in the last 14 years right right? Yeah. And also, I mean, I guess you are getting away from those. No, I am spoiled. I'm spoiled still.

I'll consider myself still. I have Jets fans I feel terrible for. Jets fans, truly. It's the absolute worst. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The absolute worst, man. The Jets and Mets combination is killer. Absolutely killer.

I mean, when Aaron Rodgers went down after four plays, because that place, I don't know if anybody remembers, but up until that point, I hadn't seen Giants Stadium that electric. Oh, he carried the flag out? Well, that, but then during those first four plays, whatever it was, they were, it was on fire. It was electric. And I was like, damn, this is going to be one hell of a year.

Before you could get the sentence out. So wait, what made you move to Toronto? I feel like that's kind of a... That's where we did the show. Have we been on? Yeah, this is it. This is the show. So we faked New York for nine years we you know and uh yeah and then and then you stayed put i had stayed during the hiatuses uh just because i i had lived in la for

20 years prior and i just wanted to live in a city that had more dimension than just the entertainment business and I but didn't want to come back home well LA so New York is home right LA was sort of felt like somewhat of a home but like when I got that job I had I got rid of the apartment I had in Venice and I was like look we're gonna give this even if this thing lasts six months i'm gonna cut ties with this and hope for the best move to toronto what six months ended up being nine years and i decided to stay there you could all be so lucky right that's crazy beyond lucky dude it's you're lucky if you get a job, let alone a job that lasts that long. It's like winning three lottery tickets.

And then having – Oh, and then this. Holy shit. This is a real lottery ticket in the sense of like – You can't – Officially the most watched show ever or something, right? Yeah. Three minutes or whatever.

Yeah, and it's the most bizarre thing. I mean, I get it. I mean, you know, I get it. I can give you an under, I know why. People, some people are like, I don't understand why. It's like, it's so simple. Well, do you find like, now I'm an old school student.

I watched it live. Hey. I was there. The USA head, stand up. You're watching on the USA network. You're a real one. I remember as my roommate I live with this is back this is Sean Sean

successful suits and I started watching with him and I think it's interesting now when shows that were on TV get on streaming and then blow up and people were like man why don't we make shows like this anymore it's like well they had writers and they had people with talent money right right it is interesting to's like well they had writers and they paid writers they had people with talent paid money right right it is interesting to see like well yeah a lot of the shows right now

they're not just throwing together a lot but it's that comment that i still that kind of makes me because is that is that the case i mean because like you know i just watched the show i was just mentioning it to the um and i don't know how many seasons it'll go but it was called made i was on a plane and i and i heard that it was good it's uh uh i for the life of me i forget her name right now but it's she she has no money in an abusive relationship and then has to become a house yes yeah yeah yeah and uh it was really good, but that was recent. That, to me, feels like it could have some seasons. I just, is there really nothing right now where the writing is? I feel like every streaming service has a show or two that you notice.

I remember when Maid came out, that was a big one. Because it stars, I forget her name, but she's recognized. She's now doing films. Yeah. Right? I forget her name. It's recognized she's now doing films yeah right I forget her name it's not Margaret Qualley it is it is Margaret Qualley

yes it is yes and and Annie McDowell plays her bipolar mom yeah I thought that would be interesting yeah

I actually haven't seen it but my mom's watched it and she recommended it to me so that's like one of the and then they obviously there's Stranger Things and oh you're talking about the Jogger Not Jogger Not yeah like the Ozarks she recommended to me. So that's like one of the... And then obviously there's Stranger Things and...

Oh, you're talking about the Joggernaut Joggernauts. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like the Ozarks. Maybe it was the Netflix original, I believe. I'm pretty sure. I think it's that, yeah. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I think... I don't know what the... Netflix miniseries. You see, so... You know, well, it's interesting to me because like, right, so when are they going to make another game of Thrones, like another Game of Thrones? Yeah.

The next big campus appointment TV. There will be something. Because every time, like, when Game of Thrones ended, it was like, you know, there may never be a show like this again. But it's like, I'm sure people said that about that show and that show and that show before it, you know. I think the week to week is is i i miss and i i was a person who was the exact opposite once house of cards came out and binging was a thing i was like hell yes this is great right but i'm also such a like like let's just get it done so whenever i started a streaming show i just got it done right so like it would come out on friday

i have no self-control on so yeah you need to keep me week to week, or I will watch it all in one shot. On Sunday, I'd be like, yo, that's a great show. They're like, what are you talking about? I watched two episodes. I watched 11 hours. But I mean, Succession could not have been better. And that just happened. Was there a better show than that?

Yeah, that's kind of what I mean. People were like, HBO is never going to make another one again. It's like they had one literally almost overlap. I mean, as people were like, you know, HBO is never going to make another one again. It's like they had one literally almost overlap. You know what I mean? It was, it was, I mean, and what was so great about it,

what made that show so special is based on what I've seen and heard that they let, they had a bunch of actors that they allowed with respect to the writing to do their own improv, you know, not like we're talking like taking it way off the course, but like just improvising moments that it really added to the show. Yeah, sure. And now everybody's going to be like where it used to be like, nope, you need to do it as written.

Now everybody's like, maybe we should let – Yeah, but you know what? You've got to have the right actors to do that because some people – That is 100%. Some people try that and it's like, just say the line, dude. By the way you know uh without revealing to yep you're 100 that's gotta be so frustrating especially if you know your writers are good writers and it's like okay you know that guy's like won an emmy or has been in the industry

for however long or just a great pen and you are trying to be the next guy and you're and you're ruining the scene so just fucking say the lines they they absolutely hit the lottery with with those actors that were able to in succession my god there's a lot of them too yeah it's a weird show where like everybody is detestable really to be honest as a character yeah but you know if you told me any of the let's say like eight characters are your favorite i would be like like, yeah, okay. Right, so what makes that happen? It's obviously the performances and how leveled these characters are because the character I had played, similar effect.

People hated his ass. But somehow they start to like it. It's the most bizarre mind fuck. Well, I think you need enough time, too. That's the other thing. It's always about time. You've got to have several seasons where it's like, he was an asshole at one two and three but four five and six started to come around and by seven and eight you know you love him or whatever that's that's

pretty pretty you're taking the words right out of my mouth because if we did not have time he would have just been a douche right for two seasons but do you guys ever see deadwood oh yeah i actually i've only seen season one deadwood so. So here's what's interesting. So it's too bad you didn't see two because my boss from Suits, Aaron Korsh, he loved the character, Errol Swearingen, and he wanted to take my character to try to do that scenario.

It was based on that turnaround. Interesting. Making him somewhat the anti-hero. Yeah. You should see this. I know the story of Errol Swearingen. So like that. And Errol Swearingen is one of the more,

I was actually going to ask you, were you at all surprised, I guess, to be, I think in the reprisals, even though it's not a real reprisal of suits, I think you're the star. You're the,

you know, it's, what's funny about it's, it's, I, you know, people, it,

you're talking a difference of back in 2011 to now 2020. So people are a decade older. Yeah. So maybe there is, you know, right. Everything's different. What wasn't appealing to them then in their life can now somewhat maybe speak to them now.

Right. You know, where you, you know, people understand themselves better as they get older. But also you got to think that there's a whole new crew of people watching it for the first time. Right. where people understand themselves better as they get older. But also you've got to think that there's a whole new crew of people watching it for the first time. Right.

So you might have watched it and thought you were an asshole. Completely hate me. Or, but maybe the world is so different now that that sort of asshole is understandable or whatever. It's just like the world is a very different place. Everybody's got that guy somewhere. Totally. They all go to Chaminade.

Do you almost feel like Van Gogh, but he's still alive? It's like the art we already made is huge now? Yeah. That's kind of interesting. You mean as far as? Like watching the. No, I mean, you see, we were, when you're in it, do you guys act? No. This guy does.

Yes, he does. Yes, he does. He just started a sketch show, and it's so fucking funny. We've been doing this podcast for over 10 years, and then all of a sudden he started this sketch show and just can act. And everyone's like, where the fuck – what? Where did that come from? So, yes. You both have –

He will be on a TV show in the next decade. Yes. He's wrong about that. He's not. I'm not. But I'm having fun doing a sketch show. Yes. Okay. So when you're doing it, in the midst of it, you're proud of what's going on.

You have that peak, as I've said a lot of times, peak happiness is when you're doing what you love doing with other people that are good as well at what they're doing and you're sharing it right so while that's happening we were doing that in those nine years we had our you know fulfillment yeah gratification it wasn't like we were like why isn't everyone in the world enjoying it right it goes not an accurate comp because no no but his art wasn't appreciated but it was but i mean because we experienced the the the overwhelming um uh you know tremendous compliments from other countries yeah we sarah and i traveled to australia and new zealand i'm not kidding dude and trust me when i tell you i am the first person to say nobody. And my best friend from freaking college who traveled with me was like, yeah, let's see if you.

I was like, fucking Oprah. No way, dude. Really? Like, everywhere. Doesn't matter. Because how can I get away from this space? And then on top of it my voice

and they'll be like it's the voice in New Zealand they know me in New Zealand bro I'm big in New Zealand I swear but then you're everywhere now dude

now in the US I only have come down here twice since this thing happened I live in you know Canada so it's just it's amazing it's crazy now wait you you earlier you said you can tell me exactly why it happened what what is it

to you yeah because i yeah i don't know i don't get why people are like i don't know if they're beating around the i don't know the bottom line is this one of my co-workers got ultra famous yeah yeah that's it okay i was i was That's the recipe for a great show. I was really praying you were going to say that. For a boost. No, no, no, no. She was absolutely an absolute part of why the show was good.

But what I'm saying is how it started. Her being where she is. Everyone is curious about her. Netflix does something brilliant. Let's put this, they show a documentary of her life that people go crazy about,

let's put the series on. Totally. Hey, what a great idea. Now people swoop over to see what she's like, and then they go, oh, you know what? The show isn't bad. It's not even about her.

Yeah, I like these guys. Yeah. And then it fucking spreads. Like, wow, that's why yeah that's it i was really hoping you're gonna say that because if you were gonna come up with some other bullshit i was gonna have to go oh really okay that's interesting no it's megan fucking marcel man of course but but but you do have to have the the goods like if the show stunk you know let me make this clear yeah the curiosity of her show being good enough to keep people there megan doing a great job as well it's everyone but and everybody appeals to like you know different characters appeal to different but it was to

get the people there of course it was it was because of the curiosity of her there's nothing of anyone else who says different is full of curiosity of her there's nothing of anyone else who says different is full of shit right and there's there's absolutely nothing wrong with that no i don't know what's the cancelable thing to say no no it makes total sense but it's like like the office kind of was the the first one that had this and that was was that pandemic or pandemic yeah so like that was kind of the catalyst there it was like we're all watching everything possible and it kind of caught on there was like we're all watching everything possible and it kind of caught on again and this one you know there's always like some sort of outside

catalyst but then the show has you know yeah it's funny it's good there's on for a reason it was always good i have i had an old an old someone who had represented me a while back said if this show was on a different that you know because there's certain um uh only you know unfortunately you know usa had a specific audience and it played to a certain audience there were other people that just never really went to usa yes and that's just the way it is you know it's not anything is there is there a reason why like uh did like nbc cbs and abc pass on suits or like or was it always oh i don't know i don't know that story i know that that my boss had written this show called Did NBC, CBS, and ABC pass on Suits? Or was it always paid for at USA? Oh, I don't know. I mean, as far as I know, I don't know that story.

I know that my boss had written this show called – it was called Illegal Mind. That was what the name of the pilot was. And it was picked up quite quickly, I think. By USA. Yeah. USA, I think, Sneaky has a – they've always had a few very big hits. But I also think they do – they have their ear to the ground where they – there's a lot of shows on USA that Netflix almost uses. Like you.

You was a Netflix show. Yeah. And then Netflix – I'm sorry. You was a USA show. Yeah. And then Netflix bought it. Is that right? Yeah.

I didn't know that. Yeah. I think they – I think like you're saying where like people aren't used to going to the channel. So they don't realize. But if you took a USA show and put it on, we'll shove it. We'll give it to you. Yeah.

It's not like how FX was for a while when they now FX has appreciated. Boy, FX had a run early on where they, they took some risks. I have one for you. You might know it, but whenever I mentioned it to certain, like the people,

they're like, Oh, I have to check it out. I am telling you now you were both fucking idiots. If you't check this out it's called mr in between i don't know i do know that actually brings a bell it's uh australian yes fx and then fx picked it up please do me the favor it's only three seasons yes okay yeah with that whole lot of star the star is someone i've never seen scott ryan he's a fighter and it's not anyone you would know i'm telling you now yeah but i remember this show because it kind

of came out when fx had like a bunch of series like bunch in a row that were big hits picked it up for the second and third season so here's the deal the episodes breeze they're 23 24 minutes you finish that the first season has six episodes. The first episode is called The PP Guy. Dude, trust me when I tell you. I'm not kidding. You have to watch it. I take recommendations very seriously. I'm going to watch The Mr. Inbetween tonight.

And by the way, it'll take you about three episodes. First one, you'll be like, all right, but what is he talking about? And then when you go into third, fourth, you're like, I'm hooked. Second season is better than the first. first then third and it just goes from there it's crazy when you were uh working with megan markle did you ever was she the the type of uh like girl do you think that would end up being a royal like was that oh i mean kind of in her blood like or like the way she acted as far far as just, you know, very professional and very prepared always and intelligent.

And, you know. So, yeah. I guess so. I guess that's the formula too. I'm sure if you asked her, would anybody ever think they're going to, I mean, you know,

would I ever think I was going to work as an actor? Right. Some of these things you just can't foresee. You had to dream about it when you were a kid. No.

When, I mean, it's got to be awesome to have it all it's like thank god that you know megan margol married harry and this all happened you know like for her for you for everyone involved it's like this is all fucking if i had completely shown up that day at an audition that i might not have shown up i would never have been cast in suits. Right, right. There was that potential possibility. Yeah, that butterfly effect is, you know. You know, because certain times you're in a mood when you get something, you have to

have it done for the next day and you want to be prepared. And I'm like, fuck that. I need more than a day to do 20 pages. Is that what it was? It was like you had to do it all? In this case, it wasn't 20. If it had been, I probably, I might have just been like i i can't handle it i need to and it was just a matter of yeah if i hadn't shown up that day on olympic boulevard the audition process to me is always so crazy i i remember um god what's 30 Rock he's the

state not state form he's oh you're talking about Gene yes Gene the guy who does

Mayhem Mayhem yes oh Dean Winters yeah and we interviewed him and we were talking I can't remember his name on 30 Rock

it's Dennis Duffy and he was talking about the audition process for that and he walked in and he was talking about the audition process for that and he walked in and he was like fuck this exactly what you're saying he's like i don't want to just fuck this and went to central park took off his shirt got some sun had a beer

got a call from his agent how'd the audition go he said it was not that good not for me and he called agent called him back he's like you didn't even audition get the fuck back there and he walked in with a half a buzz and was like didn't want to be there. And they were like, you're the guy. That whole process of how auditions work baffles me. It kind of makes sense though. What a story. I mean that's how it is.

It's almost like auditioning is like – it's like trying to – it's's like dating almost it's like when you're not looking for it it you're not your natural self like if you go in there being like i'm gonna read the page and i'm gonna read the words and i'm trying to act it's probably like they're like you don't want that it's the guy who walks in like you know what are we doing here and it's like yeah that's the natural guy that we want so i would recommend i was very very fortunate to be able to see the other side. Because if I had not been a reader for a casting director, so I was, for that, for years, I was able to be a reader, which is the person who sits next to the, I don't want to mansplain this. Yeah, yeah. You know what I'm talking about?

Yeah. For movies, I was a couple of major movies where I'm reading the lines to the person who's coming into audition so i'd watch i i mean actors to this day who i just it's amazing who i saw and what their preparation was like and how their behavior was like in the room it was like a lesson of this is what it's like to get so what so i say that before i having no fucking idea what i'm talking about is it more like you want to see someone who's like i've read every word what i'm talking about is it more like you want to see someone who's like i've read every word and i'm taking this very seriously and i am like here to give you what you want or just like i'm here to do my thing and you know take it or leave it more cases than not it was the people that came in with it there's just this quiet confidence

they're going to give it their what they're going to give what they can give you're going to take it or leave it this is this is what I got. Yeah. You want it? All right. Bye. But it's not an attitude. It's just a very nice comment.

They come in and they sense out of the room if the director wants to chat with them. If they don't, they're not going to be too chatty. If someone comes in and goes, hello, everyone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, there's these – you get feelings of desperation from some. Totally. You get feelings of just lack of confidence from others. It's that quiet confidence.

And I would see it in whether it be a Jack Black or whether it be, you know, it could be anybody. But I'll never forget certain moments with these actors. That's the one. Where it's just they come in and they they're like this is what i got and they're prepared so would you say that's the greatest note you took from that experience from being a reader yeah oh my god because then it humanizes the whole experience because whether you have you're always going to be nervous you have to be somewhat nervous to go in there. But it's just about knowing that if you go in, it's just doing your best. Taking notes for your audition soon?

Listen to him. It's just about the preparation. If you're the most prepared, because I used to go in prior to that like a moron, thinking, you know, I was told I was talented by my college professor. I could wing it yeah no you can't now when you're up against the best of the best now you get thrown so many things to throw you you have to be so prepared and then once you're that then you can say look i at least i gave it my how many people do you think are actually confident and are versus how many people

are putting on a front of confidence on the inside like shaken a front of confidence interesting well because they are actors you know you're talking about actors right so well if you're talking about the ones that are like working on set there's a ton of those who have a front of confidence but in it in auditions i don't really see yeah like in that case you either got it uh i yeah well the ones that get that far they don't you don't have those people in there right the fronting confidence the feigning confidence right yeah but there's a lot of feigning confidence on sets yeah like you know like i'm the guy here yeah yeah. Yeah, that weird meathead. So who's the worst person you ever worked with?

Who would be the most insufferable person? I can tell you this, though. I have such a... I mean, not that it matters, but I mean, my memory... I'll never forget the experiences that you have with two or three of those who... It all comes back to them.

So one way or another, yeah. Like it'll come, and you know, if it hasn't already. And what it did was, for Suits, it made me, because of those very uncomfortable experiences, I promised myself that it would be my, I'd do my best to never allow bad energy on the set we had for nine years. And we had a really and i don't

use this word often a wonderful uh yeah like experience on the canvas of like the work can like where people would come in it was i think a lot of people who were guest starring tried our best to make people feel comfortable i think that's one of the, obviously, someone becoming incredibly famous, but also a best people success is just chemistry, which isn't a secret. But I feel like

everyone we've ever talked to, we've talked about from Parks and Rec, 30 Rock, The Office, everyone's like, we still have a group chat going on. And I think that's like, yeah, we've,

and again, this isn't like some like, what? Like, if you like the people you work with, you're going to do better work. Right. If you like, well, if you like the people you work with you're going to do better work right if you like the if well if you respect the people you respect yes um you can just like family you can never do you can't always have like you know because everybody's

personalities are different so if you're going in thinking it always has to be the way you want it you're screwed you have to really be able to compromise certain things that you would not necessarily do because everybody's different everybody's got so as long as you are affable and understand that people are different than you it's self-awareness which is crazy people don't number one bro it's the number one thing in life is have that self-awareness of what you are what you aren't like what's the vibe and what's the mood and in a bigger i don't know why i want to say you know john obviously john stewart he was asked when he left the daily show whenever it was how he thinks the world would be and i always followed like i just think this is really

brilliant how he how the world would be better for some reason that question was asked to him and he said that if everybody had the just like how everybody has to go through elementary school if everybody graduated for just two years of public service waiting tables or bus boing there'd be so much less douchebaggery in the world it's the self-awareness that would make things so much more you know harmonious yeah like because that also plays into the entitlement in the entertainment business actors who don't understand the privilege they have when they're there do you think that's an interesting thing to say with i think now there's a lot of articles and stuff about like nepo babies do you find that to be a weird thing like i don't understand those i'm like well i think it makes sense that someone's children work in

the industry is that here's a really simple if somebody who talks about this and feels very strongly about it ended up based on their strong you know opinion somehow becomes viral, they become somewhat famous and then they have an opportunity that they take. Yeah. And then they have a child. Shut the fuck up. I feel like in every other industry nepotism

is always a bad word, but you walk by a plumber and it's like, Rick and Sons. Yeah, yeah. I don't know. To me, it's not crazy that someone's kid would want to do what they did. Isn't that so funny? Everybody's an armchair quarterback at a very young age these days.

It's amazing. When you think about it, though, in sports and mostly entertainment, it's nepotism and nepo, baby. And then in every other industry, it's family business. Yeah. If you're a pizza joint, oh, it's a great family spot. It's been a family business for 100 years. That's fucking nepotism.

If I had focused on that while I was struggling as an actor, I had waited tables for almost a decade in L.A., Jerry's Famous Deli. Like, you know, I was fired from 18 jobs. I couldn't deal. I knew no one. Knew no one. I literally, like, and I wasn't a networker,

and I wasn't going to part. Like, I always just was told to believe in the work and I this you know people would say with your face you have a face for radio like you know so no no given things but I somehow got so lucky to work and yet I don't I don't understand the net boat like if I concentrated on that too much, I never would have been able to. Well, it's if you're not, you don't have confidence in yourself and your abilities and, you know, like, in anything, whether it's nepotism

or somebody gets lucky, somebody goes viral, somebody, like, we see it a lot in our industry. It's like, we've been doing this for, like, 15 years and someone who puts out a funny video that gets 100 million views, all of a sudden, they're selling out shows and doing this and that. And it's like you can let that bother you and eat at you. Or you can just be like that's the way for some people and other people have this path and that path and get the fuck over. And you can say, okay, good for you.

And like let's see where you are in three years. Right, right. If you're looking over, someone else is lame. Right. Eventually, like you said, it comes back around in one way or the other it might take a long time you're right can you wait it out four or five years but we'll still be here

and if they are then they earned it they were given a good shot but they earned it to be there five years later so what's the difference did you guys have a moment when was there like a pinpoint moment of this suits thing is going like re-viral like uh you know uh texting with your co-workers or something being

like hey have you seen like what's going on on netflix like no i i know i was out of that like because like i said i'm in canada and i i had had a high school friend who i had spoke to in a while tell me this is you you realize what's happening what's going on right all my friends told you she was an OG okay you know and so she was like upset in the sense of like well now you're telling me so she would tell me she's like can you believe this I'm like I'm believe what and then she would fill me in like I'm telling you it's blowing up I'm like, I can believe what? And then she would fill me in like, I'm telling you, it's blowing up. I'm like, get out of here. Like, how?

And then I realized, you know, so there wasn't really, I hadn't really, there wasn't any of that, a chain. And as far as the chain with the Golden Globes, I was in South Africa. I was doing a film. So I couldn't go. They had asked me to go. So that whole chain thing, I wasn't part because i was i was i was having a blast in cave town south africa but there was a part of me that was a little it's it's a you know i wish i could have had that experience to to have experienced what the golden gloves because

you know sarah had immediately called me uh who plays donna um of the people that had come up to her that she could never believe were fans of the show. As I told the other podcast, this is an interesting one because it's Larry David. No way! But it wasn't at the Golden Globes. She was just at a barbecue.

She was at a barbecue. Sarah was at a barbecue in L.A. and she had a friend of hers who, not anybody who represents her but it's a lawyer friend just come to a barbecue and he goes I have somebody

who wants to meet you doesn't tell her brings her around so she you gotta tell me I gotta be prepared for that you can't sandbag me with that holy shit

comes around and she sees at a table and she goes wait a minute and then she it's Larry David and then the lawyer friend goes Larry

look who it is and he goes oh it a minute. And then it's Larry David. And then the lawyer friend goes, Larry, look who it is. And he goes, oh, it's you. It's you. Oh, hey. And he says to her, it's her. We love your show. I've been watching your show. Holy shit.

But she called me to tell me that she somehow, and she's having this out-of-body experience going, what is going on right now? And then somehow he mentioned something, and he goes, oh, that's so funny. She goes, because Rick, who plays Lewis, goes, what? I love that guy. That's all I needed to hear. I was going to say, he's secondhand.

That's fine. That is amazing, man. Larry David is so weirdly in the world where a 75-year-old, whatever age he is, Jewish man, is kind of like the embod where like a 75 year old whatever age he is Jewish man is kind of like the embodiment of counterculture he doesn't like the things that are cool I was surprised he loved suits where I think he'd like everyone would talk about it and be like ah fuck

that thing who cares right but he is no but that's kind of a testament to suits I think that it's like it's not that yeah in the sense that this is the guy who created Seinfeld and then on top of Seinfeld, then he does his own thing that is just as popular as sign. I mean,

that's, you know, that's as good as it gets, man. That's a rare air. So, you know, it's absolutely incredible.

It really is. And now we've been pretty suits heavy. I do have to ask you about another film here. And we're not a film. Well, this is a film that's on a film battleship. Yeah. We've been pretty suits heavy. I do have to ask you about another film you're in. Well, not a film. Well, this is a film. That's not a film. Battleship.

Yeah, nice. Thank you for asking. And let's put this to bed. I was never in it. You weren't in it? No. Dude. There was a sergeant with my name.

I thought so. All right, good. IMDB still hasn't corrected it. Okay. Now I get to feel both like an asshole and relieved. You're not. Because I love Battleship. And I looked at it, and when you came up on your cast, on your IMDB, I was like, I don't remember Battleship.

I still, when I was told it's still there, I'm like, why is it still there? I don't even think I can remove it. Like, I don't even know. Get that thing off. Okay. I felt like a poser Battleship fan. No, there was a Sergeant Rick Hoffman somehow. I'm not kidding.

Was that you and Rihanna? She was in that, right? Battleship is funny, man. I was looking at it the other day once we got the interview, and I was like, man, I don't remember. I love Battleship. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was like, I'm going to have to fake remembering him. But it is a movie I genuinely love. No, yeah, yeah. And I was like, I'm going to have to fake remembering him. But it is a movie

I genuinely love. No, please. Get out of your head. I don't think I've ever seen it. Should I brag about it? Well, Rick, you're missing out then. Yeah, we were on, like,

the flight carrier. We spent, like, six months in training. It was, I think you were the commander of the Joint Chiefs. I was like, I feel like I remember the commander of the Joint Chiefs. I was like, I feel like I remember the commander of the Joint Chiefs.

Nope. That's funny. You are working on a movie, though, London Calling? Yeah. So, yeah. So that is sometime going to be later in the year with Josh Duhamel, who's, I think, underrated. I think he's funny, and I think he's talented.

I play this despicable Jewish mob boss. I think underrated. I think he's funny, and I think he's talented. I play this despicable Jewish mob boss. It's an action comedy. Hell yeah. And it's well-written and it's well-directed. Alan Unger is going to be a very busy director very soon. That's not what you were in South Africa for then? That was.

Oh, that was what you were in South Africa for. That was. In Cape Town, they were faking Los Angeles. Crazy. It's crazy They were in Cape Town. They were faking Los Angeles. Crazy. It's crazy. Hollywood magic, man. You, the amount of money right now in Cape Town, I know why people are filming in Cape Town. It is literally like a quarter of what you spend in the United States.

Really? It's insane. Wow. I mean, like, I did i did not realize was that what toronto was for too yeah but not like that like that also in london calling by the way i don't know how to pronounce his name it's aiden gillen yeah so he would that was one hell of a he's unbelievable yeah and and and having seen you know i see that guy i've had a couple of experiences in my life with certain actors where not only when it's on you, but when, in other words, you'll have an actor there for you. You have to be on your game no matter what during the entire experience, even if it's off of you.

So like, yeah, and you always want to be there as, you know, just giving the performance as much on their side as the other. With him, with like a Donald Sutherland, like we're talking like, you know, there are people that demand it like not, you just don't fuck around. And like with him, it was incredibly exciting and intense to be like in those scenes with him. Like he is just. I feel like everything I've seen him in with obviously Thrones. He's peaky. He came on late seasons. And there's one other movie he was in recently,

but he is very top notch. He's been in a lot of things that we don't even realize. Yeah. Yeah. When he was riffing off like stories, I was like, oh shit. That's right. That's right. That was you. Yeah. He's been in a lot of things that we don't even realize. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When he was riffing off stories, I was like, oh, shit. That's right. That was you.

Yeah, he's been around. Well, enjoy the magic carpet ride, brother. Thank you. Sounds like you're very aware of everything, how lucky it's been and how good it all is. So enjoy it. Soak it in. Yeah, I am trying and crossing fingers for a couple of things that I don't want to put

the maloik on we'll see what happens but very soon could be doing something where I'd love to come back I was going to say come back when when they hit

talk about that shit doors open whenever you want yeah man thank you brother thank you so much yeah thank you សូវាប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បាាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប� Thank you. Bye.