KFC Radio - We Recap the Surviving Barstool Finale Ft. Lee Eisenberg

Episode Date: December 14, 2023

Timecodes: 0:00 Start 02:05 Surviving Barstool Final Recap 30:09 Mintzy got in huge trouble from Dave for spoiling Surviving Barstool Final 3 35:51 Dante thinks nervous tics are JO tics?? 46:19 Feits wants to sit in Coach over First Class 51:44 Feits blows Steinbeck's ick out of the water 01:05:14 Lee Interview recap 01:10:35 Video Voicemails 01:33:31 Lee Eisenberg Interview Stacker2: Go to https://stacker2.com/barstool, make a purchase online, take a screenshot of your receipt, and tweet us the photo with the #BiteBack for a chance to win BetterHelp: KFC Radio is sponsored by BetterHelp. Visit https://BetterHelp.com/KFC today to get 10% off your first month. Omaha Steaks: Visit https://OmahaSteaks.com for 50% off sitewide plus use promo code KFC at checkout to get that EXTRA $30 OFF your order. SimpliSafe: Visit https://SIMPLISAFE.com/kfcradio for 50% off any new system with a Fast Protect Plan. Solo Stove: Run, don’t walk, to https://solostove.com to pick up the limited-edition Snoop Stove and join Snoop in going smokeless for good.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

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sports network coming to you live from barstool coming to you pre-recorded from barstool chicago we are in uh chicago for the barstool survivor finale and reunion show so uh it's it's the final we're at the final steps for well no as you're listening to this it's over it's over um and i don't know i don't know what state we're in now that you're as you're listening some crazy things could have happened last night. Yes, yes. There's a strong chance at the reunion show, like, fucking bullets started flying, or maybe it was low-key. That we don't know. And I'm sure a lot of the diehard fans probably did watch Survivor

and probably saw the reunion and the finale and we know what happened. But I figured for the KFC radio fans who were watching all of us, but for the diehard KFC radio fans who were watching us specifically, I figured we could talk about it from our point of view for a minute. Lord knows we've talked about this, everything ad nauseum.

But from our point of view, dude, I cannot tell you how bad I wanted it knows we've talked about this you know everything ad nauseum but from our point of view dude i cannot tell you how bad i wanted it and how much i thought we had it i i was extremely confident i was so proud and so pumped i was like we fucking did it and like i never ever thought we were gonna never had my hopes up like i thought we've said this before i just was gonna come in i didn't want to burn any bridges yeah i thought i was gonna lose the physical challenges i didn't think we had a shot and then as we got closer and every single time i kept being like wait a minute i have i have a three man better too close i don't think so that was like hurt my neck i think we should go here and here yeah yeah yeah and but we'll use these same mics right yeah

yeah that would piss off these guys just spent like 20 minutes what as soon as we had like the draft i was like this is good and then like as the votes kept going our way i was like holy fucking shit well that's like i think survivor might be incredibly easy where like the two guys you lost but but like if we were if it's and i think if you want to get deep, it almost applies to life, where if it's just like, find people you trust, and don't break their trust and stick with them. Yeah. And obviously we had some luck with how the tribes fell and stuff like that, but we had an alliance, and we had numbers from the moment that game started until the last episode.

And even when we lost, we had the numbers. It just he flips. People violated the alliance. Yeah, yeah. If you just stick with people you trust. That's why I know you and Che were doing a lot more talking and game playing and things like that. But from the first night, we had to eliminate somebody when we had seven people on our tribe. From then on, we had to eliminate somebody when we had seven people on our tribe. From then on, we had numbers.

Yep. So, like, there were – again, I know you guys were doing things that I wasn't. Me and Che would probably talk through scenarios, but there was almost – how many times would I just walk in and be like, the play is this person? You'd be like, okay, the play is this person? Right. And it was always that. Yeah. Like, it was – I never ran back in and be like, never mind, never mind, it changed.

It was always the first thing. Me and Che might have talked in circles about like, well, what about this? What about that? But we always would have, like even when it got down to, it was the balloons, me, you, Will, Che, Kirk.

And it was like, whichever of those two guys loses, one gets immunity, the other one gets voted out. And like, it was just, it was was that simple like every time i was like i had so much fun because i was never nervous and then your name gets mentioned a couple times but even during the pft thing for me the back and forth the tie even when i when i got when there was a tie when i grabbed will and i was like i got it, like ride with me

and he did. Yeah. I thought he was ready to ride. I was like, if you rode with me in that moment, you're going to ride with me to the end. But like if Che had never violated the, the first alliance,

I think, I think we will. Will, me, you and Will had become a thing and I would have had a hard time deciding. I asked you that. I texted you after the fact.

I said, if I had turned to you and said, we're voting out out well what would you have done i what did i say i think you said you would have pushed back but if i really wanted it you would have been like okay probably yeah um because you were i almost wonder if that is what fucked us a little bit because i remember one time maybe was chase somebody being, do we have Will or Tommy? And you were like, I can turn comp. Like, we're good. Like, we got it.

And I was like, oh, yeah, like booze ponies. Like, these guys are good. Maybe we'll find out. By the time we're listening, maybe we'll know the answer already. But I thought we were as solid with Will as we could have been with Chase. But to me, it was like, I don't know. We would have picked one of those guys and we would have good i don't know yeah i wanted it so i was crushed i went back into our studio i couldn't i couldn't stomach then i don't even know what the

i still haven't at this point still have not seen the final challenges i don't know what they look like i don't really know what happened i saw the i didn't see the building one i missed i think i missed the building one's gonna be bad for me it's gonna be bad well we can talk about it yeah yeah yeah the building it was just like build a tower high enough and you just couldn't do it it was so here was my thinking going into this challenge it's we they were like 20 bricks 40 bricks however many bricks they're obviously not real bricks but they're brick designed are they size of a brick about maybe a little bigger okay um but the building blocks are the size of a brick yeah and um there was a thing like 10 feet high

and it was it was just get your bricks taller Taller than that. Has to stand for five seconds. And my line of thinking was I'm – because I was giving Jerry – I can't imagine how bad you were at this. I'm envisioning you building something to like your knees. No. Did you lay them horizontal? Yo, yo, it is. So, like, I think I was, like, you know, as a man. Motherfucker built the Pentagon.

It's got, you know, hundreds and thousands of square miles, but it's only, like, five stories. As a man who, like, I don't, a man who doesn't know how to do things, when a guy who like kind of knows how to do something is in the room, I'm like, he's going to do some genius shit. We're like, I don't know, Jerry was in a union. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm like, he must know how to build skyscrapers. And so my thinking was. What union was he in?

Jerry? Yeah. Steam Fetter? Electrical, I think. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Elec? Yeah. I don't know if he has any idea.

No, no, sure not. He knows how to run wires and shit. he doesn't know how to fucking build anything um but the so i was like i'm not gonna lose not trying the easy way like like i'm not gonna lose like maybe it's just just stack the bricks and they go up yeah and and wait you didn't What's that? So wait, you were like, I'm just going to build it up. So I was going two by two. Got it. And I was like, I think I might have done three on the bottom and then I started going two, just two, two, two, two, two, two, two.

That's not the worst. I think I probably would have tried to go quickly. Yeah. And I honestly didn't end up being wrong. I think Will just did one, one, one, one, one, and it went up faster. But I think I get to about out of bricks and yeah, it's like waist high. But wait, how if you're just

doubling up cut you that much lower? You must have built some sort of foundation. There was a foundation and you know what I think I was doing? I think I was going two, I think I was going four and then two on top and then four and then two on top and then four and then two on top, and then four, and then two on top,

and then four, and then two on top. And at one point, Jeff's like, fights is running out of bricks. I think it's about at his knee. Yeah. I was like, I'm not going to lose the easy way. And this was you, Will, and Jerry, chay so so will could have not made the final if he didn't if he didn't yeah if i say like say i won then yeah i wouldn't i didn't even

realize like i thought after i was gone that will was like already in basically because he had immunity but they threw in that last challenge so like so yeah it still was very much up for grabs i didn't even realize that so i think if i think I would guess if anyone but Will won, Will doesn't make the final three. Right. Yeah. Because the winner got to – Because they would vote out him because he has the strongest – No, because you didn't vote.

Oh. You didn't know this? I couldn't stomach the game, dude. I didn't know that either. Oh, so this is like – I never got voted out. Oh, I did know that. Yeah. Because I remember you being like – yeah.

So we did the beanbags again. Right i did see the beanbags yes jerry beat me three two so like i also think like if i threw one beanbag one faster i think will probably would have won still but i think i at least i think i'd get him run for his money playing beanbags no if me and him were in the final oh yeah yeah i think he probably still would have won but i think it would that was my pitch to him man i i i said this a bunch but i feel like i can really be very honest about it here on kfc radio it was fucking infuriating how how it played out uh dan going out first and then making everything about his avenging him and Chicago turned the whole game into this like Chicago versus thing. And then Dave became a part of that because he was like trying to counterbalance that.

But then that kind of fucked things up and there was a chance to just eliminate all that. You said it the other day on radio where you were like we all hated what was going on with the jury and it was the only thing left keeping it that way was jerry right so why didn't we vote him out and there just wasn't enough people who cared about it enough me and you cared about it i think if will compton had been a lifelong barstool person or a decade long guy when i when i i mean i mean like i mean like way wait wait yes yeah yeah i mean like why when kirk was still around and like why totally because it was again it's not portrayed to build though no i mean kirk was doing some complaining about it

maybe i'm just misremembering maybe he was doing it and he'd already been voted off but like i talked to kirk about it yeah where he's like this is kind of crazy yeah this is kind of wild um but the but like i i said on radio i think there's a lot of thought of like jerry's not going to win challenges for some reason i wouldn't i would that's not something i would think all the challenges were pretty balanced like anybody could have won they did like you know with beanbags and throwing and all that sort of shit i don't know why you know maybe that's that that was the fatal flaw the other way. We could have done differently. But when I lost or when we were done and I went back to work and was telling all of our friends and our New York people and our people at Barstool the circumstances, people who have been here for a long time, people just get it they were like oh well like and it was a smart move for him uh and obviously it worked out for him but i think

you know had he not he's been here for a cup of coffee and i think he understands the dynamics at barstool but i think if there was another lifer who has you know rolled our eyes at some of the shit we've had to put up with and and when it becomes the the the dan and dave show and those things sometimes i feel like it would have it would have meant more to be like let's do it with these three guys you know i think it would have been awesome to have those three people and that all that jury shit is dead and it it's... Will probably still wins. I think the speeches would have been awesome. I think it would have been like a...

Like a... 40... 35... 25% chance. However that works out. It would have been a more interesting final three. Totally. Because I don't know...

Listen, you don't want an interesting final three. You want it to be what Will had. You want it to be a fucking joke. It over 100 but for content for you know for the fun of it it's not about fun and all that so i get it i'm not i'm not saying anything but it would have been i think like we don't know until jeff reads it yeah i i would like to think that i think i was probably in third place i think my speech would have been pretty convincing i think you i you didn't have like a speech but i know the angle you were gonna go it was very it was gonna be very compelling and then will just have like the best resume and maybe his speech would have been different and great too but i think like it would

have been like nobody knows let's find out and and just all that other shit would have been deaded it would have been gone because nobody had that issue with me and you and will like maybe there would have been some other thing that came about the jury maybe this person's voting for you and not voting for you for other reasons but the whole jerry and dave and dan and all that that was just like looming over the game would have been gone yeah and it also was still the right move like it was i was i wanted it in my heart because it would have been cool to have the three boys but also it was smart because jerry did have the built-in like four or five votes now in the end like that that i guess was

not enough for will like will still won but i would if i was in his position i'd be like i'm not fucking with the guy that i know i can count one two three four is definitely voting for him yeah you know and then i mean that and then the the craziest the craziest thing of all is for dan to not vote for jerry in the end is like after the whole sure that's what happened i'm almost positive i guess i don't i can't say that with certainty but i'm pretty positive he voted for will so it's like what was all that for yeah what was all that for i think kirk really i'm saying this now it might be said at the in the reunion show in case it's not i want to say it here uh i think when kirk gave his speech saying listen if anybody votes for any anybody other than will compton

they're doing it for other reasons right like that's fine but just admit it you're doing it for other reasons and i think that swayed him to be like okay i'll vote for will but it's like no then stick to your fucking guns and do the whole thing the whole you did the whole time um but man i like i couldn't go back out and watch that that uh that challenge i when i had to go back out and do the the tribal thing i was just like i had not been this this i think you took this more personally and i don't mean that in a negative way i think this affected you you more than – I think going in, we were kind of both like, yeah, it's going to be whatever. Well, once it was within reach. Yeah.

Like if I got voted off in the very beginning, in the middle, whatever. Once I was like – and I didn't let myself feel that way until the last day. I even was like't don't start thinking about a speech but i was like but i think i have to be prepared because i'm pretty sure my boys are gonna ride like and and i i still as we speak right now maybe i will again to reiterate we we will have had done the finale show uh i will probably get some clarity from will it seemed like i think will played me more than i even thought i thought he was kind of like i'd like pained me to do so and then in watching

it i was like oh no you had your thing with jerry for like a while so maybe i just got played totally but i really thought it was like we got the fellas we got the boys and it is like it worked like oh and i just thought it would be very cool it'd be very fitting to have like one of the original people win barcel survivor you know will's played great and he's awesome and all that but like it it would have been cool like one of the original cities one of the original guys it was the veterans and the all-stars and to have one of those like veterans win would have been cool um and i mean that that was what my speech was about was being like this will be the most important thing to me like will compton his thing is will

forever be on the football field his greatest moments will forever have been would that have been your greatest moment of this company i think so no i think so yeah really yeah my like my greatest like i mean now listen like what we've built like yeah yeah yeah of course but there's no money to it they're like as far as a singular thing i've done here a challenge uh an achievement uh you know it's like the biggest i mean the youtube thing kind of fucked it up but in my mind i was thinking like millions of people are gonna be watching this and like we're gonna be there you know so i was thinking it's of people are going to be watching this and like, we're going to be there, you know? So I was thinking it's going to be the biggest piece of content we've done. I think it's the best.

Both of us have like ever performed in one of these things. I thought, you know, my speech was going to be very good and like was going to be a good moment. What do you think would have been? What would you say? What was your speech? It was just like,

you know, this is, this will be the crowning achievement for my entire career like as much as this means to everybody to what you know whoever it was going to be like this will mean so much more to me i've been playing this game i like started this game 15 years ago when i started my career here the way that like the the way i've conducted myself the the uh bonds I've built, like I didn't have any enemies here. I was able to align with everybody because I've like always worked with people, helped people, been friendly with people. Like that is that I've been, you know, you started, these guys started five days ago.

I started 15 years ago. I kind of tried to not bring you up because I think you're the only better story than me because it would have i think it would have been a little bit of a of a get back you know what i mean like for for not getting equity and and saturday with the boys and things that we know you got totally fucked on it would be a drop in the bucket but at least a very public like feidelberg is the fucking guy who won the whole thing so i was trying to just not talk about i think i made a fast and the furious joke i was like vitalberg did his fast and the furious uh marathon that was his big moment this is mine dude no one would mention that by the way in the in the show when everyone's like the fucking poor people i was like hey like you know they'd be like tommy

like fucking jerry i was like i i was like i wanted to be like and i didn't notice until watching it now when everyone's talking about stuff and like they're people like tommy jerry hank i'm like where the fuck am i in this fucking thing well that's dude i mean that's it's so fucked up i would i would not be shocked if i have the 14 people on that show i'm the 13th lowest paid i think tommy's probably below me i think anyone else below me would surprise me so we're talking about poor people bringing me in the fucking mix i know i i don't think people get because it's such a travesty they they assume like there's even in this i've seen mentions of people being like fights got

fucked on equity and saturdays for the boys like he deserves this and people being like fights got fucked on equity and Saturdays for the boys. Like he deserves this. And people being like, wait, if I don't want to get equity, like people still don't get it because it's like, it's so ridiculous that they just assume it. It's the case, you know? And,

but I forgot about the equity. I was saying your speech should just be centers are for the boys. I mean, I don't, I was, you can't like give a speech that you didn't that's loser shit to like i was thinking about like publishing it i don't know like maybe if people really want to read it i have like i wrote it down so like i could put it out there but i also feel like it's kind of lame to like give it and not an accepted speech but a speech for a final that i was not in is kind of loser shit but that was my my vibe was just like don't take away this from me for like

we'll play it a great week like this will mean something for me for like the rest of my life maybe that's silly to some people maybe it's not like for me this was it was uh kind of like barstool like what barstool is it was like it's we're making content we're competing it's about you know making being funny but also being smart and playing politics and like to be the one that did that it's like and i there was a lot of stuff of like you know i'm always the uh it's dan and dave and i got left behind and i was i got cut out with the pen thing and so i was like i'm always the bridesmaid never the bride that sort of vibe and i think it would have uh i think there

was probably enough people like a couple people that would have voted for me no matter what and then i think it would have swayed a couple people so i think it would have been interesting but um but yeah there's no denying i wanted to try to play it cool i was like this fucking hurts but i i never uh never thought about like i never thought i was never thought we were gonna get there like feeling that i thought i was just gonna get whatever yeah i don't care you know even looking back on it when we we were so i told everybody about the che alliance i told nate i told tom i thought we told too many people yeah well i i because because when che was like don't tell anyone he was dead right but we i was so blasé about at that point i was like

i don't know i think if i tell nate he'll be down with us and kirk will be down with us like and then they all either forgot or like just didn't think we were serious but once the game started getting going we told them before chase said don't tell anyone remember we had that don't tell anybody and i was like we told three people but they i guess they didn't you know there was definitely times where people were like you know what about che he's like a chicago guy and i was like oh yeah totally that was che drove me nuts in the one conversation we had he was like you when you called me out i was like when he he said that to me you were the one who incessantly was like yo stop talking to me don't don't you know like every time i would say something because there was a couple

times where i said like yo are you riding with me and che and then after like kirk left he was like yo stop talking to me don't don't you know like every time i would say something because there was a couple times where i said like yo are you riding with me and che and then after like kirk left he was like yo stop doing that yeah so then i was like okay and i just threw a little like fuck you che and he was like when the fuck man it was your idea watching that and watching him say that i was like that and and there was something where like che thought 100 divided by 7 was 17 or something like that. There was some math. Everyone was like, what? Yes.

Che might be the dumbest person alive. I know. The only person that's dumber is Minzy. But when he was like – I remembered that moment vividly when you were like, I don't know about this guy. And I went, nice play, Kevin. Yes. Right. I went like –

He goes, you did it in front of everyone. I was like he goes you did it in front of everyone I was like yeah that's one of those that line in particular is one of those things too right I heard Che say that and I was like everyone and maybe it's part of the game but I think it's part of Barstool as a whole too like everyone's so in their own head where it's like you embarrass me in front of people like what are you fucking talking about yeah like right like to me that was just like everyone's here I'm gonna say something that makes them go oh those guys don't get along right i almost thought it was a little heavy heavy-handed i was like fuck that wasn't like that slick and meanwhile chay's crying about it him and his fucking uh

carpool his his carpool i mean we i should have gone with my gut when when i said he will never go against chicago when it comes down to us and he swore up and down and then he just didn't because he goes because he carpools with Jerry. As if right now Jerry wouldn't be carpooling with him. Months later, Jerry would be like, I don't go to work with you anymore. I don't know. I don't know because honestly,

I think not that it ever crossed my mind stabbing you in the back, but I think had I stabbed you in the back, I don't think this show is the same anymore because I think you were very invested in the game. There was one point towards the end where you were like,'re gonna stab me aren't you and i said i was like you're a little too into the game kevin yes i do remember that bro me and you are light years different than jerry and and steve yeah yeah but i think that that makes it easier for them to cut it off i guess whereas like we probably would have had to keep going because of

financial reasons but i think i think you would have been genuinely like bro if you like you would have changed our relationship totally yeah but i think that's 15 years of right you know i think it like i'm trying to think of like i think che and jerry are like me and tommy and like yeah i was i was gonna try to vote out time you know right right yeah you're right you're right if you voted me out i i I don't know what I would have done because I would have to be an adult about it, but I would be gutted. I was like, what are you talking about, dude?

You're like, you didn't hug me hard. I'm like, what are you talking about? I just woke up. Yeah, I do remember you being like, enough. Like, dial it back. it was a lot of fun it was great it was awesome and i i it had a chance to be like so you know the perfect ending even with a had i lost in the final all good getting to the final would have just been it i would have been buried because it was it was equally was like 50 50 equally as important

of like doing it for barstool one time to make it about like other people and then potentially winning it those were like a coin flip for me as far as because when the money doesn't matter it's just about what makes you like personally feel the best yeah and either of those things if i even in my own head even if the edit didn't show it whatever if it was like i orchestrated that to like dead the jury that means just as much to me because you know what there's a lot of people who probably won't say it and i don't expect them to but i think there's a lot of people out there who would have thought that same thing and been like this sucks because a lot of these things that we do always end up going this way you know and this

one didn't for like on the biggest stage um so if i lost in the final and i and i really i never was gonna do any of the like pft jerry stuff with you but i you know when you see like uh the american idol people standing next to each other and they like smile like they're happier that the other person yeah yeah and i was always like that's so fucking lame if you won, I really genuinely think I would have been like a quick moment of upset and then like just as thrilled. I really would have been. I would have been that way with the final three. Again, I am well aware that the right play was vote Will out. But I was like, this could be fun.

I'm down to let the chips fall where they met. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I don't know. What can you do? Can I just say, this goes into the Mincy thing.

I'm so glad it's over just for the fact that radio has not been fun just sitting on the abort. KC Radio is sponsored by BetterHelp. Whether or not your family gives gifts during the holidays, you get to define how you give a gift to yourself. And the holidays are a great time to do just that. So whether it's by starting therapy or going easier on yourself during the tough moments

or treating yourself to a day of complete rest, that's something I don't do at all, man. The other day I was talking to somebody at Barstool about we were doing some content and they wrapped up early and they were like, I'm back at home and in bed. And I was like, you went back home and just got in bed and just are chilling there in the middle of the day. I was like, I'm either working or running home to do the kids' stuff,

or I get home and it's time to just do dinner and watch a little TV and go to sleep, but just a day of, I ain't doing nothing. Nobody bother me. It's my own fault because I have a broken brain and I need to fix it. So I need therapy more than anybody. But remember to give yourself some love this holiday season. If you want to start therapy, give BetterHelp a try. If you are already in therapy and you want to switch to BetterHelp, even better.

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That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash KFC. Mincy. Mincy boy it's it's it's a little bit disturbing concerning whatever word you want to use that i believe multiple people have used the dog analogy yeah but my initial reaction if you don't know the day of the survivor finale ben mince not once but twice do you know that twice I do but I think one was a slip up I think one was he just announced it the announcement was

like the beginning of the episode and then he slipped up to end the episode really so within like wait so he announced it and no one said anything

the whole show that's wild I have no idea how that I thought he did it like at the end and then like someone shot him in the head that's what I thought too

he was just like alright he's doing great apparently he said in the beginning I think he said said, big day, we got the surviving finale. I believe it's the final three. No, I know it's the final three. And then he said Jerry, Che, and Will. And then I guess at the very end, it was like a 25-minute show. So 23 minutes later or whatever, he does it again.

And then he finishes the show, whatever. The producers on that one did say, yo, dude, that was not live. That was not out there yet. I think they said he still didn't really put it together. Picks his phone up and starts to realize what he did. And they said he ran away. He ran out of the building. Shut up.

He tried to run away. And Dave called him back and said where the fuck are you get the fuck back here I heard it at one point come face your problems but you know what's so funny have you seen the clip of Dave

so Mincy is sitting there so they made Mincy sit in the corner with a dunce hat for whatever show they do together and then this is I guess after that Mincy is now corner with a dunce hat for whatever show they do together. And then this is, I guess, after that. Mincy is now sitting with a dunce hat in his hand, which looks like a KKK robe, first of all. So it kind of ties in nicely to round one. Got his hair in a wreck, which I can't tell anymore.

Is this a bit for Wake Up Mincy or is this just you? And he's just like, you know, boss boss i fucked up for like the i don't know like millions times and you can tell that i think this is after dave had really laid into him and the producers and everybody and he just starts to laugh again yeah he's going he was like laughing and trying to cover his face because he because it's like there's no such thing as bad dogs it's only bad dog owners yeah right because who in their right mind would ever put mincy on a live mic again i mean that genuinely sincerely if it was the other way around if he had given if he had slipped up this first and then said the n word we could have been like hey we probably should have known that he never should have been on a hot mic at the time that he ruined survivor but it's this way

that should like truly get your professional live radio card taken away like that's like the one thing you can do that you probably can never dig your way out of it because people will always just say it's just safer to be pre-recorded yeah you know but somehow some way and then as i understand it like every room here in chicago has like the ability to dump live except mince he has to record in some special place he's recorded on the basketball court right and they use like green screen backgrounds rather than just like having the regular backgrounds. And I asked them about that. And the producers were like, I was told it has to be in that spot and just make it work.

So he's like, I made it work. Dave actually apologized to Stefan. Really? Yeah. Oh, yeah. I heard that. I heard that. Yeah.

He was like, Stefan was like, I was told to make it work with limited resources. So I did what I could do. And Dave actually apologized to him, which is stunning. There's a clip from Viva TV that I sent to my friends because Stefan's being just a sassy bitch in it. And he was saying, he's like, I can't build a dump button in three days. We have so much we have to do. It's him being like, don't do this. And then someone else was like, no, it's got to go live this week.

Yeah, I mean, but man, it's got to go live this way i get yeah i mean but man it's just i was i was upstairs talking to some sales people earlier and they were like you know everyone's a lot of people here in chicago in particular have never really seen dave right like a lot of them particularly the business people and things like that really yeah i would imagine right i imagine i don't know i would imagine most of the people who were here like like sales people like business people do they like they hired new people i would think so okay okay yeah that makes sense yeah either you're saying like people who moved from new york no i think that was all production in town i don't know oh so like all the sales and business are new here yeah yeah that makes sense

um oh so they got a fucking they were like i've never seen dave mad but that was insane they were like we work back here and we don't hear what happened we don't hear them playing basketball we don't hear them doing you know whatever events they're out here doing they heard it's like we heard dave screaming i heard he was just like looping the place just like finding new people to yell at dude dave being mad and not at you is the best the best when you just watch him ravage somebody just like a shark just like ripping them to pieces it is so goddamn good you get to see that mean with ease in the wild and especially when it's been targeted on you for you know many reasons in the past and then it's like when it's been targeted on you for, you know, many reasons in the past. And then it's like not. It's like, oh, I know how you're feeling.

But I get to just enjoy it. It's sick. We shouldn't. It's like victim blaming or, you know, we should sympathize with them. But not even a little bit. Not even a little bit, dude. You fucking idiot. While we're doing surviving, I mentioned this on radio maybe we'll still do it on radio

i got a text during surviving from a co-worker who's been watching i imagine i was he didn't say um he uh god uh he didn't say this is where he saw it but i'm just assuming that's where it was um i got a text a few nights ago. I'm trying to find it here. Sorry. Do I know this yet? I forget. I think so, but I don't know.

Where is this thing? By the way, while you look and I just burped. Okay, I got it. Okay, good. Wednesday, November 29 to 1030. So probably after you watched Survivor last week. Okay. You ever realize you're constantly doing things with your hands?

Is that some weird jerk-off tick or something? This is from Dante the Don. Again, he texted me at 10.30 p.m. Do you ever realize you're constantly doing things with your hands? Is that some weird jerk-off tick or something? So he means like you're talking with your hands. He's watching Survivor. I think it's more just like this.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You crack your knuckles. You move around. You grab something. I actually noticed I think you roll up paper a lot. I'm always doing something. Yeah, but yeah. What the fuck is that some weird jerk-off tick mean?

For those who don't know um i would guess for me it's anxiety it's nervousness and tension and uncomfortability and me just i mean it's also the most classic thing in the world like will ferrell i don't know what to do with my hands you know it's like there's a reason why like news anchors just sit like this or they hold a pen because the whole thing is people don't know what to do. So it's very, very common. And certainly not a jerk. And so he actually, it's a nice look into the conspiracy theorist's mind. The mind of a psychopath. Because it's how easily convinced he is that it's something nefarious and weird.

Rather than just like, yeah yeah the standard thing you assume why people play with their hands and fidget because they're nervous so he said you ever do things you realize you're constantly doing things with your hands is that some weird jerk off tick or something i read that text on what the fuck and i replied yes i said if I nervously fidget, and by the way, I'm telling him what it is. I said, yes, if I nervously fidget the way most people do when they're anxious, I come so hard. And he went, now my interest is piqued, which is a little gay. Super gay. Pause.

I'm all pausing. I said, no, you know how some people get anxious or nervous during conversations and that makes them get kind of antsy if i do exactly that in very similar situations i get really hard he goes how the fuck does this work and how'd you come to realize it i fell asleep at this point. I was going to say, also, it's like, I don't know, my dick got hard. That's how I came to realize it.

So I woke up at 8.20 the next morning. Tell me you kept going in the morning. I don't know. I probably first realized it when I was very young, like before puberty even. I couldn't more clearly be saying it's nervous anxiety and not jerking off. And he didn't reply to that one. But I was like, this is such a crazy person. Clearly be saying it's nervous anxiety and not jerking off. And he didn't reply to that one. But I was like, this is such a crazy person.

You're so crazy to see someone who's like, yeah, I don't know. And he goes, that guy must be wanting to beat off right now. I bet that guy wants to jerk his dick. Is that not one of those big time projecting things hammer to a nail sort of thing where it's like i think you got some weird jerk off tics going on if it's something other viewers have noticed or people notice when they talk to me in these moments the last thing in the world i am is horny i am i am so anxious and nervous and riddled with fucking paranoia it is not horniness that is so like driving me to play with myself and stuff what's up you're still getting nervous when we record no but that's why i'm guessing it's from surviving

because that's like i'm in more nervous situations and like talking to people that makes more sense when we're doing the show like this yeah whatever but like i feel like you guys have always done that just like you're occupying your hands so you can like talk yeah jackie was gonna get a toy to play with if i didn't carve the desk yeah that that that i think is is nerves and kind of tension and and awkwardness but like yeah i'm sure it's on display and surviving i had to be honest i've watched all the episodes i haven't noticed it that much it That's a weird Dante thing. But talking with it also comes from Dante. If I'm talking about it, yes, I am animated.

If I didn't look the way I look and have the name I have and hate Italians, people would probably think I'm a guinea. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm all over the place. Yeah, I'm an animated person. So, like, yes, Dante should get it. But that's why I assume it's not what I'm talking about, what he's talking about. It's got to be something else. I mean, I still don't know what a jerk-off tick is.

Do people? I mean, that means, like, you get a hard dick from some. I don't know. Dante's got a jerk-off tick. I was going to ask if he was just calling you a jerk-off and then you went first. No, he clarified. He actually. I've skipped a few texts.

The fact that you, like, what a gift that fell into your lap. How do you describe it? He went, sorry, comma, jerk off. The verb, not noun. What is this? Some sort of jerk off tick? No, I mean jerk off tick. Did you see tonight?

He's skipping a, he had a business dinner, but he's going to skip it to watch. Dante always has a business thing. A business lunch, a business dinner. Anytime I ask him to come on radio, he's got business. I don't doubt it. He owns a bunch of clubs and restaurants and he does all his DJ shit, but it's like every time there's something. Jerk off, Tick.

The reason this all came out was because he texted me, why do you continue to come to my city and not tell me? I was like, dude, I landed at midnight last night. I to the hotel went to bed i woke up came to the office that's that was my day thus far i will see you later i imagine i don't know where where what's the cutoff like if someone comes to new york i'm not like you're in my city yeah no but like i feel like if you go to boston i feel like chicago kind of is that like you're like you could come see me like you could be in new york and be like so far away

if you're not between my apartment and the office you're not yeah yeah i was in brooklyn i live in westchester like we are further away than my dad's done that before he's like come to brooklyn for meetings and he's like i'm in brook. I'm like, I'll see you. It's easier for me to see you at home. Seriously. Right now, meet at home, it'll take less time. There are times where I'm like, if you were in Philadelphia, I could get to you probably sooner and easier.

I had that once happen kind of the reverse where it wasn't easy. Excuse me. I did not. I know what you're going to say. You were going to say it earlier and I cut you off. I did not bring Omeprazole. And I had Mexican for breakfast. Bro, so I had onions. Raw onions, which I know fucks me up a little bit.

I think I can eat cooked onions. I like the flavor of onions, but I usually, if they're in it, I'll let it flavor my food, but not eat them. But I had a sandwich the other day that had just raw purple onions on the sandwich. And I do like the taste of it. It wrecked me. Just like probably like a half moon, a half moon, a half moon. Like three, you know,

like they're just inside of each other. You know what I mean? It wasn't like a whole slab of it on a burger or whatever. It was probably like a little ring, you know, that many rings just on two halves of a sandwich. And I, this happened to me once before because I know I've sent this to you. When I was like, I don't think I knew what heartburn was until I got it. And I was, if you go back to that episode of Barstool Radio, the whole time I'm going,

you know, tune in tomorrow, like I'm doing the burp talk thing. And I was like, what the fuck is going on and then i had you it feels like something's like kind of stuck right there yeah i was like oh this is heartburn and i like i can tell you right now unless i get tricked somehow i will never eat another onion again in my life and i do genuinely like the flavor of it and i was like this will never happen again to me. It fucking kills me. I mean, ruined my whole day and night. I just sleep sitting up.

Yeah, yeah. I was sitting like fucking 90 degrees. Just like... The holidays are here. One of my favorite sponsors, this Wolf Rep. Omaha Steaks. Omaha Steaks.

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$30 off your order. I tried to sleep on the plane here, too. Two hour flight to Chicago? Two and a half. Yeah.

Guy peed three times sitting on the window. If you know you're a three time per two hour pisser, you gotta switch me, bro. Yeah.

Especially the minute you see me. I was rolling up my shirt to make a fucking pillow and putting the head things on the side. I'm reclining back. I put on a jacket backwards. I was like, you know, I'm going to sleep, bro.

And he would just whack me on the leg and wake me up and then, like, scoot by. And I was like, okay, fine. And he even said, like, let me pee before we get going. I'm like, cool. You got three more, two more in here?

But it was funny because when we started radio, I meant to talk about it on radio. And I said, dude pissed three times on the plane. And Tommy turned around and went, how did you know that? Tommy peed three times on the plane. And that is what it is. It's the bladder of like an old, neither of these guys were like the old Jewish men that do that. I couldn't believe it. But Tommy and this random guy peed three times on a two-hour flight.

Something's wrong with you. Something's fucking wrong with you. Can I ask a question? Speaking of flights that I've been debating, I want to know how insane it is. It should be good. So we fly first class. I don't know how that happens. I don't know if they just buy me a first class ticket.

But because we never really fly planned trips, it's always very quick. Like, we're going in three days kind of deal. It's usually only the first row. Like, row one. That's open. So I very often, when we fly, I sit first row. Yeah, I noticed that. But I'm not.

You're not? Yeah. Well, I don't really like it. Is it insane to just get me a regular seat? I think most people, what, they like the legroom? You're saying it's insane to give that up? No, because I don't have legroom. Oh, you're saying you want a regular seat instead of first class front row?

Yeah, just get me an economy seat. Well, it depends. A lot of these flights that we're doing are short distances, and first class is like, I don't know, the seat's a little bit wider. Yeah. Did you notice the net today? I took a picture of it. Oh, wait, you weren't on my plane.

No. They put up a net in between coach and first class. Like, look at that thing. yeah yeah i was like good thing we're separating the riffraff with this fucking seinfeld has a joke about that we like when they close it yeah like maybe if you worked a little bit harder um i'm not gonna do that but like i'm not gonna like it i like getting off the plane so fast earlier but what don't you like about it it like you don't have leg room? No

I feel like you do No because basically it's the leg room Leg room with a seat You can at least get under Yeah You can get under I can't get under Right

So I'm just like stuck like this I have noticed that you've been in front of me Like the last like three flights I'm first row every fucking time And like there is more leg room in row two than row one why don't you just ask them to get first class but not front row i just assume because that i i assume everyone has my problem where like they don't like not being able to stretch out so the first row is always the last one available oh so so you're gonna say get me a first class

ticket but if the only thing left is the front row, get me a regular. Yeah, again, I'm not going to do it because I like getting off the plane fast. I think that would be pretty crazy. I think you're maybe forgetting some of the... I mean, it depends on if there could be a middle seat. A middle seat I would obviously not take.

Most flight... I think you won't have a middle seat. Yeah, so maybe there's a step down. That's not crazy. I will say, whenever we do the short flights and you guys are like row one, row two, I think as a joke, they put all the producers back row. Every time you guys are one and two, we are the very back row. I feel very awkward.

I used to feel really awkward to the point that like i almost was like i don't want to do this i want to all fly together and then eventually i was like sorry guys but when i see that like someone's in like row 31 i'm like this feels like rosa parks bro this is like it's the worst flying with like with our team everyone knows now but when you're flying with our team. Everyone knows now. But when you're flying with new people, we're walking down the jetway last night, and Tommy's like, you sit first class?

Yeah. I was like, yeah. And then we board first. They pass us. We're like, go back with the pours. See you later. It's definitely a little bit awkward. Pop Punk's a funny one, too, because it's like you get it, you get it.

Comfort Plus. Yeah, there is some sort of, I don't know, Dave or somebody else like check boxes. I don't know. It just happened one day. Yeah. I thought it was like an accident. We all get our own hotel rooms. That changed.

That was like the second turn and bought us. Yeah. But that's a legal thing. I think like a real company. Yeah, that's true. You can't bunk up anymore, especially if there's girls around and shit. But yeah, that was always nice when it was like, oh, wow, get my own space now. But these are things that I think are pretty basic that most people who are big parts of companies get that we're just like, oh, thank you, sir.

Thank you for putting me in the big chair at the plane, the flying machine. Thank you, sir. I stumbled across two internet things. I think I stumbled upon the greatest ick of all time. Maybe the original ick. 1955. Okay. One John Steinbeck wrote a letter to Marilyn Monroe.

Are you ready for this? This is April 28th, 1955. I bet I can beat this. Miss Marilyn Monroe of the Waldorf Towers, room 2720, New York City, New York. Dear Marilyn, in my whole experience i have never known anyone to ask for an autograph for himself first of all terrible sentence from john steinbeck right who is john steinbeck he wrote uh grapes of wrath of mice and men i think right like major major author yeah i have never in my in my whole experience i have never known anyone to ask

for an autograph for himself I feel like himself is one of the sentence words you can't end the sentence on but whatever it is always for a child or an ancient aunt which gets aunt which gets very tiresome as you know better than I it is therefore with a certain

nausea that I tell you that I have a nephew in law who lives in Austin Texas whose name is John Atkinson he has his foot in the door of puberty but that's only one of his problems you are the other i know that you are not made of celestial ether but he doesn't a suggestion that you have normal functions would shook would uh that you have normal functions would shake him deeply and i'm not going to be the one to tell him. On a recent trip to Texas, my wife made the fatal error of telling John that I had met you. He doesn't really believe it,

but his respect for me has gone up, even lying about it. Now, I get asked for all kinds of silly favors, so I have no hesitation in asking one of you. Would you send him, in my care, a picture of yourself, perhaps in a pensive girlish mood uh inscribed uh to him by name and indicating that you are aware of his existence he is already your slave this would make him mine if you will do this i will send you a guest key to the ladies entrance of fort knox and further and furthermore I will like

you very much yours sincerely John Steinbeck like I when you started this I was I said I bet I can beat it and I didn't know how badly I was gonna be that's not great but that's not good that's what do you got

penning a letter to an international superstar being like but he's a star himself and you can maybe... As a writer, you can make the argument he's doing some tongue-in-cheek stuff. Ugh. And I think the fact that he's an author has me being like... That's one of those things where like... Writing it looks weird, but I could see all of that playing off kind of... This is like a 1955 DM being like, yo, like, hey.

Saw that you followed me. My friend likes, you know, whatever. I don't know what Steinbeck's like in person, but I could see if he's charismatic, all that stuff working. Okay. What do you got? I don't know why I just thought of this.

I'm so mad I did. I could just not say it. Well within my rights to not say it. I could do it. I could do it right now. Is this your ick? Yeah. Oh, wow. I did it. I did. I could just not say it. Well within my rights to not say it. I could do it. I could do it right now. Is this your ick? Yeah. Oh, wow.

I did it. I did it. I one time, this is years ago. I one time was, we were having sex, me and this lady. Marilyn Monroe? Yeah. And me and this lady. Wasl minro and uh being this lady who was your teacher or something it was it was a woman she was she was it was yeah and uh we're having sex how old is she not not not

like old oh no um older than you though not not by any yes i think but like not by any okay years okay okay and we're having sex and it's all fucking hot you guys know you're listening and i got a jerk off tick right now and then we we get in front of a mirror while you're fucking we're fucking we're fucking in front of a mirror and we're like and what's your doggy style yeah like she's kind of like bent over and like we're both looking in the mirror and oh god this has potential to end so bad bro i don't know what is he gonna say what is he gonna do i don't know i don't know if it was i don't know if i was like trying to not come or if i just like was in the moment i was like this is hot so i get down on my knees behind her, and I start eating her out.

Okay. And I'm on, I want to hook this. I want to be able to show. So I'm on my knees back here. Where's the camera? You guys all got to see this. And I'm on my knees eating her out, and we're on hard wood. And starting to hurt.

Yeah. So she seems to be enjoying herself, so I don't want to fucking change it up. So I want to stop, but I can't be on my knees anymore. It's gone too far. Pop a squat. Indian style. Right? Indian style.

Criss-cross applesauce eating pussy. Bro, eating pussy, criss-cross applesauce in her mirror so she can see everything. I got a belly hanging right here. I got a little foot. You're doing this. You're doing this. Yes, dude. Sitting like this.

So she's like loving it. She's like, oh, my God. No. Oh, no. At this this so she's like loving she's like oh my god no oh no at this point she's stopped loving it oh okay so she

cause she can see in the mirror right yeah she can see in the mirror so it's just this pot bellied person sitting Indian style

sitting Indian style I don't care if you're I don't care if Brad Pitt you can't sit Indian style right dude fucking dick popping up here a little pot belly here and she just goes

I feel like a baby's eating my pussy right now and i never talked to her again i would sincerely hope not i can't believe i i've i've had that story in the chamber for a minute For how long bro When the ick phase ended Kind of I was like Dodge the bullet You never said that Obviously not that I wouldn't say it

I remembered it recently I think I was just in front of my mirror in my apartment Like a PTSD flashback To be like what did that fucking look like So it was fresh on my mind right now And you said ick I was like Bro I was gonna say PTSD flashback to be like, what would that fucking look like? So it was fresh on my mind right now. And you said ick. I was like, bro.

I was going to say, let's put it to a vote. John Steinbeck versus John Feidelberg. I mean, there's obviously writing a weird worded letter is not even close to eating pussy like a baby. Indian style. But I'll tell you this much. I thought you were going to say you were doing it like a catcher. I thought you were going to be just sitting there like this. I should have.

You're doing the Asian squat. But I'll say this. You know, I feel like most, in most of my encounters, rarely am I doing things standing up, even when I was younger. But when I did, there was usually a pillow, a cushion, something. But when you see a chick go raw dog knees on the floor,

that is some like, she got that dog in her. Like if you are sucking dick or or in your case eating pussy on your knees even carpet gets sometimes worse because the carp is rubbing yeah yeah um it's like just don't do that you know what i mean like i if that's me i'd do it for five seconds and then be like we're changing position like i'm just you know what i mean like i'm just not doing that also you got to be like all the way up on. Like I'm just, you know what I mean? Like I'm just not doing that. Also, you got to be like all the way up on your,

I feel like a lot of times girls are like, you know, straight up and down to suck somebody's dick. Like it's not, you know, when I go, when I go to church and I go on my knees, I do the old man. I sit my butt down on the pew for that.

You got to be doing the full, the full praying. In that moment, I was, I was upset that I wasn't raised by psychotic christians who you know the nuns make you like pray on rice yeah then the peas and stuff yeah because then i could eat pussy all day i'd have i'd have fucking callous knees now by a babe put that way way at the top of the list of the vitalberg stories when i go how how did it take 15 years how did it take 15 years to tell me the story of you eating pussy indian style

i mean i can just see that like just like a little i mean you're just like spread where i'm yeah i'm so doughy and like oh pale that like uh yeah i absolutely resemble a baby yeah and just when you start also for her to say that like like that's what you say to the girls in the group chat afterwards yeah to just say it in the moment did you just did you keep fucking her oh yeah but like but like we're like okay we gotta wrap this up quick because like that just like yeah i like like when i said i never talked to her again that wasn't like that but like we are not in communication anymore yeah that was there was no future after that yeah holy shit what's i'm trying to think of my most embarrassing sex moment i have embarrassing sex moments that like i but i usually like played them off like you know they're not getting not be able to get

hard or coming too fast but you're like oh let me switch positions let me i'll go down on you now or whatever i'm trying to think if there was like a in the moment you know i don't think i have anything even remotely close to getting eaten out by a baby i think i farted once i think i farted once like as came, so it was kind of funny. Oh, God. That's what the ATI question came from? Maybe. You shoot yourself every time you come?

Maybe, yeah. I think about a lot of, like, as a guy, there's no good position for that. Like, if you're, like, face down, ass up, eating a girl, like, if someone were to walk in on that like a girl like on her knees i actually i don't really care for that but i can see the appeal of it of a girl's like on her if you're on a bed and she's like ass up doing it all that like all of it's hot for a guy i can't think of any like good position other than like i guess if like she's sitting on your face it's like that's just but if you're down if you're any of that sort of stuff it's like anything where like

if your ass and asshole are exposed in any way it's like this is yeah that's the closest i come to being gay eating a girl's pussy with your butt in the air yeah yeah it's a nice little breeze i just the weirdest thing for me i could see myself enjoying this well the weirdest thing for me about it is as a as a straight guy 99 of the time the field's in front of you you're the quarterback yeah yeah you know i'm checking i'm doing check down i got all my progressions i'm working through everything here. If you're a girl or a bottom, the game's behind you. Yeah. You know, you're looking forward.

You might have a mirror. You might do a look back. But for the most part, things are just slapping off of you. You're just hoping no one catches up to you from behind. They usually do. Usually, I got a Ben Watson tackling it at the one. Leon let that shit. tackling it at the one. Leon let that shit. Bumble at the one.

It's just weird to have a whole. I remember a girl telling me she was somebody else that she was fucking. She went into a blackout. She was like so drunk. And she was like the last. It was a guy that had never had reverse cow girl and she was like well i gotta show you some things and she told me she just like the last vision she had before she completely blacked out was just two feet like he was just laying there

with his feet out and she like turned around and went to do her thing and she's like i just remember his feet and like against the white wall yeah and i was like yeah it's so weird for you that's like your whole like i think for me sex is like so visual i want to look at old things and touch all this stuff but for you it's just like you're just doing your work and looking at a white wall and two hobbit feet i won't do reverse cowgirl unless i'm under blankets because you don't want i think it's so weird just my feet out but how is she doing it under blankets because no no no i i as long as like the blanket's up to my knees. Knees, yeah.

Yeah. Boy, we got some insecurities here, huh? I got weird feet, bro. You do. You do. But I don't think she's looking at him. You think she's zeroing in, being like, look at that toe. Look at that nail.

Probably not. Not if she wants to come. Girls aren't really coming from reverse cowgirl much are they i would guess i don't know i feel like good old-fashioned regular cowgirl stir thing really this doesn't know anything for me but if it's working for you when they like yeah like that yeah i guess that's more regular cowgirl a regular girl on top that's that's that shit is getting that's when i feel like you're poking through to their intestines. They go all the way...

When they do feet instead of knees, and they go all the way down, I'm like, where did that thing go? Where does it go to? It's like, I understand how you can have a baby now. Who do we got on the show today? What did we decide? Lee.

I think Lee's a great interviewer. One of my favorite interviews we've done in a long time a very i'm also getting a new bay yep the new bay is coming we're all gonna get a come i don't have a comforter you gotta get a comforter first to get the the cover to put it so i buy that separately yes okay i'm sure i'm sure new bay probably has a bunch of stuff now. This is a very weird... This came about Erica New Lee Eisenberg, who is the writer of some of the best television and movies you've ever seen. The Office, and specific episodes of The Office that are like classics.

And he also happens to be working with Shopify on this new product he's made that has revolutionized getting your comforter inside a duvet which is one of those like common internet tropes of like how does anybody know how to do this and he invented this zip up cover that uh just makes life so much easier we're probably talking too much about the new bay the interview is very interesting it's almost not at all about yeah yeah but i'm just saying it was just so you it was so weird how it came about because erica we're working with shopify shopify is working with him so they kind of like all got connected and erica was like can you do an interview with this guy who's selling duvet covers and i was like

that sounds fucking terrible but hey you're the boss i got to do it and then i learned a little bit about what it was and i learned about who he was and i was boss i gotta do it and then i learned a little bit about what it was and i learned about who he was and i was like let's do it and i still was kind of like this is this is definitely still out of the ordinary for kfc radio and it was fucking awesome i completely agree it's getting to talk to somebody about like the behind the scenes of specific mount rushmore episodes of television we've talked to movie people before like i haven't really talked about like classic individual episodes of television. We've talked to movie people before. We haven't really talked about classic individual episodes of television that I believe are as important as the greatest Oscar movies and shit.

So awesome. I would like to. I'm glad you think that because I would like to make it a point maybe in the new year to do more. To do more like behind the scenes writers. I think we've only done two. I think it's been Lee and Aaron Ryan. And I've loved both of those interviews. Yeah.

Even just hearing like he has ideas. I loved hearing ideas that he in 2023 pops into his head. Yeah. And he's like, I wish I could do that with Michael Scott today. Right. Because it makes me want to be like, maybe TV shows, maybe with AI, you can just do like one offs. Like what if right now he could like, you could make Michael Scott do that. And it's like, you know know the office is not back but this one the the head writer has this unbelievable idea

for michael scott doing xyz like let him just do it it like it is he is brilliant i mean the shit he came up with the episode scott's tots and uh dinner party it's it's unbelievable the lover the lover is well i don't think we talked about lover the lover is one of my favorites yeah he's got like lover's murderers row of just go all the way back he's written for a bunch of other shows too that are all like quality but the office is really his his main uh currently um lessons in chemistry i mean he's he was great i i had no idea what to expect going forward going into as well and i i really liked it and i would. I don't know how we do that.

I guess we tell Kelly. I would definitely like to have more television writers on the show. It is funny, though, being like, and now tell me about this fucking linens that you're selling. Jackie's great. Jackie's unbelievable. I have the same idea. You shoot it with a syringe.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I forgot about that. Jackie had a comforter inside a syringe. Yeah. Oh my God. Oh my God. I forgot about that. Jackie had a comforter inside a syringe. A huge comforter and a syringe and shoot it

into the cover. It's like, and that's why Lee was like, I made it with a zipper. Fucking never change. Jackie Nichols, never change. So we'll get into that

with him. But first, we'll do some voicemails. Did you know that according to the FBI, break-ins and property thefts spike this time of year? Yeah, duh. All alone.

Ever seen it? We all know that. Burglars love to take advantage of people traveling for the holidays. We got to worry about that. We always post when we're on the road and stuff. People know that we're not at home. So you should stagger your internet posting and make sure people don't know where you are and where you're not. But if you have SimpliSafe home security back home, you don't have to worry about anything.

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And like I said, 50% off any new system right now during the holiday season. That's SimpliSafe with an I. S-I-M-P-L-I-Safe.com Check it out. Alright, two questions for you guys. Number one saw kfc playing uh the playstation 5 during a surviving barstool episode so i just wanted to know what are your what games

do you play what are your top three most played games right now and for feidelberg uh if you could be a video game character in any video game what would you pick oh could I just see that voice real quick? All right, too quick. All right, never mind. What did you think, Josh? I thought he was a black guy. I knew that's what you were thinking, but why did you? I'm telling Tommy's story now, but Tommy was out at a club. He told me this last night we were at the airport.

Tommy was out at a club in New York. And a very cool black guy walked by and was like, what's up? Tommy smokes. And he's like, oh, hey, man, what's going on? And as the black guy walked away, Tommy looked to some of his friends, some of his employees. He's like, everyone be cool. be cool everyone be cool and you know because you probably understand what parts of your barcelona fan most fans look like you yeah it's a lot of i mean we joked many times but it's very serious when a cool black guy or girl says like that they

like you it means more yeah and uh i guess tommy said it a little too loud so the guy heard it no and he came back and he's like you freaking out because i'm a cool black guy and tommy was like yes honestly yes almost better yeah yeah and i was like everyone's like a frat guy and he's like no i get it i get it man but you were passing each other and he still heard it or he was like walking they were they were stationary they were outside of clubs got it that's awesome that is awesome he's just like he's just like i don't know it doesn't happen a lot and i think that's a true story because we've said it enough here and there that i think people like the the diehard ones who are cool know that yeah i'm gonna go make his night by saying this um i would love to do i i've i mean like i'm playing a lot of video games these days not i'm not uh i'm actually not playing

many different video games i'm playing many hours of video games because he asked me my number my three it's i've been playing uh spider-man 2 i ripped through um uh i'm playing this game teardown do you know that game Yeah, you were showing it to me. Dude. I've seen a lot of clips of it. It looks awesome. It's very fun. It's like shitty graphics.

It looks like Minecraft, like that 8-bit shit. You have a hammer and like a blowtorch, and you have to like break shit and steal shit and get away from the cops. But you have to do it within like 50 seconds, and you're like an insurance fraud. you're the muscle that like these guys call they're like i need you to steal this safe and you have to like figure out a way to cut it out of the fucking ceiling and get it into a boat and drive away before the cops get to you and i

and i i bought it for keegan because i was like this is keegan wants to play gta he saw grand theft auto on youtube and i was like i can't do that it was fucking and and straight up like gang violence yeah you can't do that yet so i was like he wanted a new game i was like i don't know here you go this is a minecraft shit i don't know what it is i'm the one who's like addicted to it um so i'm playing that spider-man 2 i played uh the harry potter game on xbox is that good i almost got that yeah it Yeah, it is. And I'm not a Harry Potter guy. I actually have been sleeping through the whole series recently. I said, this holiday season, I want to watch Harry Potter.

Oh, the movie. And I put that on, and I fall asleep to every single one of them. But I enjoy them. But I don't... I love them. It still doesn't hit them. I love them. I still think maybe there's just an element that it's like...

Maybe... I mean, I haven't gotten to like five to like six seven eight yet or five six seven maybe they'd be get they get a little more adults but there's still some like corny yeah yeah there's still some corny kid shit that i'm always a little like yeah there's like a little goofy i want to like them so bad it just doesn't but i know i know the storylines now a little more and stuff but i'm not sleeping every single one of them like fuck you're just a dad i know i know the uh i know i when i when i saw i saw merrily we rule along on broadway like a month ago and daniel radcliffe is a star of that and i was in like the third row and like i didn't realize what a harry potter geek i am and i i say that like i

don't know it like a real harry potter nerd does but i really like it you know yeah and uh because at the end he was you know um i don't know how many but at the end of most plays cast comes out yeah does their final bow but then the star stays his own thing yeah but no no no they raise money they maybe it's just the christmas season but like a lot of times they're raising money for something so it's just like there'll be red buckets on your way out the door put money in it they'll sell play bills and posters signed by times they're raising money for something. So it's just like there'll be red buckets on your way out the door. Put money in it. They'll sell playbills and posters signed by the stars for raising money for some kind of charity. It's usually for the actress fund or whatever.

But this time they happen to have a live auction where they were auctioning off. I honestly forget. I forget what they were auctioning off. But they were auctioning off something. And Daniel Radcliffe was the one running the auction. And he was running around stage kind of maniacal. But he had a big pen. And he's like, and you give me this.

And I was like, it's Harry. He's doing the wand thing. My thing with Harry Potter is they know some spells that I feel like they would just use more often. Yeah, probably. Sometimes I'm like they would just use more often. Yeah, probably. Sometimes I'm like, do the thing. You got the fucking what? So yeah, I don't think I can do video games and be like a streamer though, but

I will try to do a little more where I'm like talking. Spider-Man was fucking awesome. Zelda I die for, although I didn't really like the new one i think breath of the wild is way better than uh the what was it called tears of the kingdom yeah that that got too complicated that they i think they went too hardcore for the zelda freaks like some of the some of the shit you can do is like amazing but if you're a normal person it's like what the fuck are we doing here and i'll probably fuck around with GTA six. When that comes out, you should do red dead.

That is, I started red dead on switch, but, but did you get past? It sucks. Then you get past the ducking behind the fence thing. It's funny because when I played that, that is first 10 minutes. You,

you, you know what I'm talking about? Yeah. Yes. It's, it's, it's not, it's not easy.

I, okay. Yeah. Okay. But I also said that to me. I also was like, uh, it's not easy. Okay, okay. No one said that to me ever. I also was like, because I was playing on Switch, the controls are all off and stuff, so I was wondering,

I was like, maybe this is difficult because of this or is it just hard? It's not an easy game. I think it's a little more difficult. So I'm going to start that now that I play PlayStation 5. I also tried to do The Witcher.

That game is fucking hard. That game is very hard. I gave up on that pretty quick. Oh, you know what I played too? Star Wars. The Star Wars Survivor, Jedi Survivor, Jedi Fallen Order. That game, the first one, it has four levels of difficulty. I didn't even consider levels three and four.

I've never had to play a video game and turn the difficulty down ever I would just play the video game I was I couldn't get ten feet without just getting fucking diced up in Star Wars so then I went to the easiest level the difference between like

normal and easy is like light years apart and I was like well this is too easy and this is too hard and i was getting but i was getting my ass kicked and i was like i fucking suck at video games i'm old and i suck and i started to google it and watch youtube videos and all the comments so this is like a game from like five years ago but all the comments say like five years ago and they were like this game makes me feel like i've never played video games before like why is this so hard but the easy level is too easy and then the second one they like figured it out but so star like five years ago and they were like this game makes me feel like I've never played video games before like why is this so hard

but the easy level is too easy and then the second one they like figured it out but so Star Wars Spider-Man Zelda Teardown

and a little bit of Red Dead and maybe GTA is my rotation if I could be anybody I'd be Harry Potter Tom Brady Tom Brady in Madden?

That's a good loophole. I could be anybody in a video game. Video game characters, mostly it sucks, dick. It's like usually you're on an incredibly difficult... A hellish life. Yeah, you're on an incredibly difficult quest. Someone is in complete control of me. And I have to do violent things.

I mean, you know, it's like a running joke all the time. It's like if I was all the time it's like like if i was mario i'd be like stop getting kidnapped by bowser you know said they would link it's like hey zelda maybe you should fucking not you know uh but so i'm trying to think if there's a game that pac-man gets to eat a lot that's pretty good yeah that's a good one you're a human pac-man yeah what's like a open world like i'm just'm just kind of chilling, doing my thing. Kirby? I would say Animal Crossing, but Animal Crossing, you just have to pay rent. No, in Animal Crossing, you're just an indentured servant for the rest of your life. You're just a slave.

Animal Crossing, you're like literally a slave where you're paying off debt like your whole life. It's kind of like life. Prepares you for life, except there's a lot more like fishing and animals in it. It's like life, but worse. All right. Last voicemail. Have you heard that West Coast legend himself, Snoop Dogg, announced that he is done with smoke?

It's over. He's eliminating it. How could the dog father, once famously urged us to smoke weed every day, how could he be giving it up? Well, we've now learned, as it turns out, that he's going smokeless, joining forces with the makers of the world's most popular smokeless fire pits, Solo Style. I almost believed you. You thought it was?

I did believe that. When it happened, I did. He's old enough that I thought maybe he's over the weed thing. It definitely got me. I thought he was launching edibles. There was enough reason to think, whether it's that or that that like snoop at this point could be done with smoking weed uh and so like hats off to solo stove it's a little funny that there's we're still doing it yeah but it was a great campaign with a like a

i mean snoop you could make the argument is one of the most recognizable people out you know once we do the taylor swifts and the tiger woods and all that shit but the next tier down like a lot of people know Snoop. A lot of people from a lot of different walks of life know Snoop. He also had a viral video the other day where he hit a billion streams on Spotify. How much? How much money did he make? Oh, it's probably like $1,600.

It's $45,000. Yeah, I mean, that's crazy. That's crazy. A billion streams crazy a billion streams a billion streams got 45 000 that i it cannot last much longer it cannot i i i i like every time we've had that discussion i've said something to the effect of like i'm sure the big dogs do get a different cut if snoop like snoop's pretty big yeah snoop's pretty fucking big if he's if he's getting 45 you know like drake and taylor might get a different cut but if snoop is making

peanuts snoop's gonna be the one snoop has been the most vocal yeah snoop will lead this charge and i think eventually we'll get some sort of reform before he's dead it's fucking insane the most powerful like musicians in the world just get no money from their music i mean it's i i can't decide people are always like oh could you imagine michael jackson like in today's world like he wouldn't like that right everyone had to go buy a 25 album like there were times where like eventually i feel like cds like got to like 1799 ish but there were times where for whatever reason sometimes it was like 24 25 bucks i was like i don't know what's going on here but i'm sure when it was records forget it it's great to be back then but anyway snoop's always got he's always got something going and now the fact that he's teamed up with solo stove

i've got one in my backyard uh i can see it from my my bedroom i always look out it's all zipped up in the weatherproof uh cover but i can whip it out anytime we're gonna do a little uh little uh marshmallows roasting we'll do when the first snow is out going to do a little marshmallows roasting. We'll do when the first snow is out, we'll do a fire pit. We can play with the kids. You get cold, we'll have the solo stove going. And it makes all the smoke go up into the air so you don't get smoke in your clothes or in your eyes or in your hair. Snoop designed one himself.

If you buy that one, you get the bucket hat and a limited run of stickers. So run, don't walk to solo stove.com pick up the limited edition pit and join snoop and going smokeless for good hey guys two quick questions from canada one after barstool radio coming back do you think you'd ever do a koc radio live get the producers and everyone involved and yuck it up with some of the fans to, uh, does he mean a buddy? Longtime friend in our social circle who has always been very open about the kind of porn he watches and, and, uh,

who he's into. And, and it's always been, uh, you know, different Asian actresses and all that. Uh, I started dating someone recently who resembles,

uh, porn actress quite closely, not Asian. And now all he talks about is whenever this new actress drops a video or new scene comes out and just blatantly telling me to my face that he's beating off my girlfriend. Dude, this is a good voicemail. What the hell do you do in that situation? Do you remember the most awkward thing of all time? No, but also, how do you not give us who it is? Yeah, that's very annoying. I feel like it's just going to get worse and worse, but I don't know.

It's like three months relationship, so who knows? Anyways, thanks, Viva. Come on! give us who it is but what were you saying do you remember the most awkward porn look alike thing to ever happen it was at Barstool it was a person

they brought their family member oh yes the worst thing ever happened oh yeah a producer who loved Lana Rhodes has a sister who looked i walked in the office dude he he would make it like very well known how much he loves lana rhodes and then he was like hey guys this is my sister and i was like that's lana rhodes like your sister is so fucking hot it's's like she's Lana Rose.

Like he would. I actually thought like, like we're having fun to an extent, but like I actually thought it was Lana Rose. Yeah. Like she's that hot. It wasn't, no,

it wasn't like, like I met her. Like she, I saw her alone in the office and I was like, oh, Lana Rose is here today. Yeah. And I was like,

no, that's my sister. I remember being, we were all like, we don't know what to do because it's such a thing. And like, this is such like, you should really, really, really looks like that sucks. And that was like when Lana was like first person on the scene, rubber duckies in the pool or in the tub.

It was like bro um i mean it's weird because it's like this means your girl is fucking hot or this girl i don't know your girlfriend or whoever you're fucking or whatever yeah like that's cool uh but like knowing that your friend i mean listen if you bring around a hot girlfriend you know that your guy friends would probably fuck her you know right but that's i think that's a very different thing than like all of my friends have beautiful girlfriends it's like yeah we would all have sex with each other's girl thinking about that that's insane right 12 right but like that's a very big difference that that is a real breach of a line of friendship like yeah i think all my friends girlfriends are are gorgeous it's like if you

guys weren't dating and i met her she's for sure hot enough that i would have sex with her yeah like we we all probably know that uh if i ever found out and you told me so even if it was like let's say if i started dating a girl that i really knew looked like a porn star. Like it was striking. So yeah, I think I'd be like, this is pretty crazy. Right. But like then for you,

if you were to be like, I jerk off to her still, you know what I mean? It's like, it's like, okay, this is this crazy thing, but let's not talk about it.

You know, just unspoken. Yeah. I know every now and then you're jerking off to Asakura. And it's weird that like we work with her now or some shit like that like you know it's kind of we've had those things happen before but it's like we didn't belabor the point right so just don't bring it up for you to be like in any way shape or form i'm jerking off to your girlfriend or look like of your girlfriend or something you know

yeah any of that any any like hey this girl has a tattoo that's the same as hers this body part looks like hers or this this you know all of it it's just like don't need to do it you do not need to in any way shape or form tell me that you're masturbating to my girlfriend it's crazy that's fucking crazy that's out of control sometimes these questions i'm like you people are out of control yeah there's not much that strikes me anymore but i'm like you guys you guys have fucking issues you need to go to therapy i also i emailed that guy and he got back to me um, but I'm like, you guys have fucking issues. You need to go to therapy. I also emailed that guy and he got back to me.

This is just like an OnlyFans girl. It's Melanie Marie. And like, I mean, it just looks like a regular girl. Melanie Marie. We'll be the judges of that.

I have a Twitter here. He included the link to the Twitter. That's a fucking gangster move. Melanie Marie. Yes, she does appear to be. I mean, the fact that it's also a custom jewelry place in New York City. You don't get like. I couldn't find it in Instagram, but here's Twitter.

Is it Melanie Marie J? Is that? I don't get like i couldn't find an instagram but here's twitter is it melanie marie j is that that's even weirder i think to be like yo just a regular girl because then it's also like hey dude i have this weird internet uh like random yeah who looks like your girlfriend yeah it's like if it was like a you know jenna jameson it's like oh wow it's like okay so there's a girl who looks like my girlfriend out there that you jerk off to and now you're jerking off to my girlfriend great story dude we could have avoided this like because if it was like yo that looks exactly like lana Lana Rhodes. It's like, we all know that. Yeah, yeah. We all don't know Melanie Marie.

But hey, shout out to Melanie Marie. We haven't done this in a while. If you want, well, no, no, I was going to say, we'll plug OnlyFans, but I feel like that just floods you guys with all sorts of fucking weird shit. But yeah, Melanie Marie, God bless you, girl. We should do that on the radio and have Miko throw them all. Alright, that's it. We'll see you back in New York

on Tuesday. Oh, a quick programming note. So we are trying new things out with the YouTube. We've just got to really figure out the algorithm for the first time ever. So we are doing a lot of testing over the next couple months. I know that we're used to putting out.

The episode of me and John. As well as the interview that we do. Where we usually publish them. Basically at the same time. On the same days. And I'm sure there's a die hard contingent. Of KFC Radio YouTube viewers. That unfortunately.

If you're used to that. We're going to mess up your schedule a little bit but plain and simple it's just not what's best for the show on youtube to grow uh this the these the podcast will be out the audio yeah the audio will always be out and have everything you want so if you want to hear the us and you want to hear the interview you can go listen always through but we're going to have to test out one video on this day, one video on that day, two videos on the same day, but ones in the morning, ones at night, no videos on this day, but two videos, you know, we, we, it's just, we, we basically have been doing an audio podcast on YouTube and it's time to do a YouTube channel and we're at the point where we have, uh, we've been at the point where we've had great guests and a big enough following that we should have like a million subscribers and get tons of views and make a lot of money on YouTube. And we're just not there. And we've, we just haven't had a YouTube programmer. We haven't really like maximized it. So we got to get,

you know, when we have major comedians and major stars in, and, you know, we're getting not a lot of views and not a lot of subscribers. It just, we can't have that going forward. So it's, it's, I know it's probably frustrating to a certain amount of people. And I hope you guys are big enough fans that you're like, well, it's going to be good for the show. Cause if we figure that out and YouTube becomes what it should be, you know, when people talk about how it's like, we get, when people are on the East Coast, when the comics are on the East Coast, the West Coast, they go to Rogan.

When they're on the East Coast, they go to KFC Radio. That should mean that we are one of the top YouTube accounts in that realm, and we just haven't been. And if we become that, it's just good for business. We continue to get more of those guests. The views go up. We do more videos i think i think if we were i think we would be way more prone to do a lot more video content if we were like this is going to get hundreds of thousands of views yeah this will get a million views if we go do xyz

we're going to go on uh we're going to do a little it's a chicken thing too we also need to just do more totally totally but but we got if you can do a million videos if you don't post them the right way the right time, the right, all that shit. You know, YouTube's just such a weird beast. So for the people who are probably used to it, you know,

it might be a small but loud group. Like, sorry if we're fucking up your schedule, but yeah, we hope that you're big enough fans to realize what we're trying to do is what's best in the long run for video. And if you really do need to, to consume it all in one shot there's always the audio but as of right now

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I got in yesterday at like 9.30 to 10. And I was like, what am I doing? Like, should I go out? I didn't have anywhere to go until I went to Teresi by myself. Do you know the place? No. I don't know any place, though. It's like a –

Let me slide this over to you. It's like a – Let's start letting it rip. Like a hot, like, restaurant. Oh, it's like the new spot. It's been around for a year. And, like, it's – It was just like – I, – I went in by myself.

I was like, can I have dinner? And they were like, yeah, you have to wait for 15 or 20 minutes. So I like – That's not bad, though, right? It wasn't bad, but it was like 11 at night. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, if there's a wait at 11, it's not for me. And so they had like – I was like, I'm not going to drink.

And then they had like the bar where like the proper bar and then there was just like a table, like kind of a bar that just like faced the kitchen. So I just like stood there with my drink like just watching the chefs. And then for like 10 or 15 minutes, they were like, okay, you can go to the other. And then I like sat and like was able to talk to people. Yeah, that's funny. Keep an eye on things. I don't know any places. I never did even when I was younger.

I guess – Now in your old age. Well, when you're young, you know, like, you know, the bars and the party spots. I guess I would know the names of some of the hot restaurants, but I couldn't afford them or get a reservation or whatever. And now that I – I guess I could maybe. I don't even know if I can get reservations at these spots. But even if I could and now that I can afford it, I don't, like, want to. So for me, like, I miss the could maybe. I don't even know if I can get reservations at these spots. But even if I could and now that I can afford it, I don't want to. So for me, I missed the whole thing.

I mean, I guess if you told me we're going to a Michelin star restaurant right now, I wouldn't say no. But, yeah. I get it. When people are like, where is the spot? I'm like, don't talk to me. Dude, I stumbled into a Michelin star restaurant in Amsterdam. And it was like, I'm kind of the same as Kevin.

I eat, but I'm not a foodie. I don't know spots. You guys eat for sustenance. Yeah, exactly. I mean, I do, you know, I just love a good meal. I just don't want to pay for it. It's not even a payment. I just don't want to do the research.

I don't even care about paying for it. And I also don't like, when these places are like – they insist upon themselves. They're very – No, I like that. You like the pretension. Yeah, yeah. Oh, very much. Yeah, I don't need that.

I like the experience of that. But I did a Michelin star in Amsterdam, the John Dory. And I didn't realize we did the seven-course meal. And until course three, I didn't realize that it was strictly a seafood restaurant. And so we had done – it was with my mom and my brother. And we had done shrimp, caviar, and oysters to start. And then – You have four more fishes going?

No, no. And then it was seven courses on that. Wow. So by the end, we had ten different kinds of fish in us. And I was like, this is too many fish to be in my body. The parasites are eating the parasites. We're walking out, and my mom just goes, I feel like I just ate a fish tank. I don't care how good it is.

I saw something. I don't think it was at a fancy place. I think it might have been Salt Bay's Steakhouse or one of those celebrity steakhouses. I think they call it the Butcher Box. I think it's one of those tomahawk steaks in a briefcase.

It comes out in a briefcase. I don't like that kind. I like real pretension. What was that movie called? The waiter or whatever. What's that one? The menu. The menu.

That kind of shit. I want a murder at the end of mine. I want blood to be spilled. Those ones where you have to hide your... You put the napkin over your head. Hide it from God Succession style What?

Yeah I forget what meal it is It's not a foie gras It's something comparable like that though There's a succession episode where You have to hide it Where you literally put the napkin over your head To eat I can't remember what it was like

It was like quail or something Yeah yeah yeah What the fuck I don't know I can't tolerate stuff like that i don't care how expensive how rich how famous how fancy i'd be like i'm not doing that it's the same reason i could never do like a frat or any stuff like that like when they're like get me this or do that or we're gonna haze you i'd be like i'm not doing this i'm good i'm good i'm leaving yeah goodbye

i'll have no friends i don't know whatever uh but i i would imagine you know in in hollywood life there's quite a bit of that no i mean i feel like the pretension yeah you kind of like you look around and you're like if uh if the room is a pretend it's like uh if like you don't know who the asshole is in the office you're the asshole yeah yeah so i'm like no everyone in hollywood's super nice and it's like like calling my sister i'm like where the fuck i said I said I need my underwear better fucking be back. In my drawer folded. Unacceptable. We were running through your greatest hits, if you will.

Your resume, man. You're the most talented person in the world. That's what they call me. It's one thing to be like, I wrote The Office. It's another thing to be responsible for the episodes. Dinner. You know, it's one thing to be like, I wrote The Office. It's another thing to be responsible for, like, the episodes. Yeah. Dinner party and whatnot, where it's like, the ones that you quote and talk about and remember and know, I wrote that.

That is. It's crazy. What was, I mean, like, I was saying before, I was like, are there all my favorite episodes? Except one. And you know it. What was, what? And you know it. It just looks to Except one, and you know it. What was – And you know it. It just looks to me right – and you know it.

You know what you did. Well, it's just I feel like it's the most – You know what you did. It's the most controversial episode. Sure. Scott Stotts. Yeah, I know. I knew it.

I can only go until Stanley's laugh, but that's my favorite laugh. Dude, I'm cringing. It's been 10 years already. Is, do you like that? The cringe? Yeah, like. It might be the most cringe. Just like the controversy around it.

Like if you had to talk, if someone was like, give me an example of cringe, like it's that. Well, apparently there's a, I don't know how to go on Reddit, but I've been told that there's, like, Reddit threads devoted to, like, how long people can make it through the episode. This actually is resonating. I'm learning Reddit in real time here. I've actually – I've recently – I'm always, like – I'm always watching The Office at some point. Yeah, of course, because I need the residuals.

I get it. Do you get them? Do you get them? I'm not pouring a fucking napkin over my head for doing nothing. But I've actually noticed in my – as I grow older, I can't – I actually – now I do enjoy it. I like it. You can get through it. There was a while where I – when I was younger, I was like, I really couldn't.

I mean he said this to me and like I get it. I laugh. But like I can watch it. When I learned like he like physically could not watch it, I was like i could i can watch it you know i when i learned like he like physically could not watch it he's restrained down they have like the clockwork like i that is a a i don't want to be silly but like in just the world of writing and creating and shit like to create a piece of art if you will that can make someone feel that way it's incredible like that should be you know that's like uh you know there's emmys of

course but there needs to be like awards like like like for that that's like this is you know a legendary piece of writing i mean there you know there were a bunch of writers on the office and everyone kind of had their like their version you know we all kind of exist we all wrote on each other's episodes like crazy yeah some of my favorite things are not in my episodes obviously but um you know you're in a writer's room but everyone kind of has their own take on the show and what makes the office i think incredible is like you feel all of that so me and gene my writing partner on on the office we wrote like we love the cringe stuff like we like the british office was kind of, like, we were just obsessed with it.

And then other people wrote it, like, Michael's the most, like, optimistic version of himself. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And, like, decent. Sure. And, like, Mindy wrote that a lot of Mindy's stuff was, like, you know, his obsession with Ryan. And, like, it was kind of like a love affair.

And so, like, for us, it was always kind of, like, a lot of it didn't make it in. But we would, like, do these, like, really long like a lot of it didn't make it in. But we would like do these like really long. The talking heads are when they talk to camera and like in kind of like the confessionals. Yeah. We were obsessed with like Michael in high school. We had a whole thing that Michael went to his prom. But then you quickly realized that he didn't go.

He didn't have a date. He was a driver for a limo company for his own prom. And that he was like playing for a limo company for his own prom, and that he was, like, playing, like... With everybody. Yeah, he was, like, playing dice with, like, the other drivers, and then, like, they convinced him to go in to, like, confess his love to the girl, and then, like, that was the sort of stuff that we did make it in.

It was really long. Like, we wrote, like, it was just, like, Steve just, like, going on and on and on. I don't remember if we shot it. Is that kind of stuff, like, out there of stuff like out there though like i don't i honestly can't remember if we shot that but that was like something that like no but even like like i mean i feel like if you have that written down somewhere if that was like we'd have to find like the fan fiction or not i guess yeah like the reddit of the world like right right if you could post a screenplay or whatever you call it the script of it of that people would go bananas oh there's that sounds amazing i mean for like basically what would happen in the show is we

would go there'd be like a scene it wasn't quite working or like one of those talking heads or whatever and greg daniels who created the american office would be like all right everyone go off and like come back in an hour half hour whatever it is so you have like the best comedy writers around with the best characters to write for and everyone would just generate like i would generate 10 of those and gene would generate 10 and you know justin spitzer and then we'd go around and like read them aloud and and you'd be like please please pick mine you're like it felt so like anxiety inducing that is and then and then you and then on set because the show is so easy to shoot,

because the cameras are just like, you know, the cameras are moving around like a regular doc, but those talking heads in particular, it just locked off. So it's just as matter as if Steve can remember it or Rain or whoever. And so then you'd be like, oh, let's try another one. And you just give them a whole other thing. Or because those guys, some of them are the best improvisers of all time like corral it would be like hey steve like we're trying to do something about like uh you know you're like what was like your eighth birthday like michael what was your

eighth birthday like and he'd be like and he would just kind of go off and he would just and then he would do he would he would come up with something on the fly like that was funnier than like the four hours that you know the dum-dums up in the writer's room expect doing it. Dude, that's all the time. That's interesting you said about how some people wrote. Because I always just envision being a team. I don't really think of it as individual people writing scripts so much. And there's one scene that always jumps out to me in Survivorman when Michael comes back and Jim had tried to run the office. Yeah. And he's like, did you try to do the get rid of birthdays thing?

And then he goes, that's what she said. He's like, I always do that. I don't know. I never know what she says. And I'm like, that's like a real moment. Yeah. And now it's kind of making sense where you're like an optimistic person wrote that. Because I was always like, no, Michael's actually a great boss.

He knows what he's doing all the time. He's actually doing it on purpose. He's playing levels ahead. You underestimate him, and then he'll surprise you It's so funny I was just thinking about an old Again something that we never did I always wanted to do

That Michael goes golfing We did a golf episode at some point Michael goes golfing With a client Lands the client on hole 2 And Jim is like Fuck We have 16 more holes the client, lands the client on hole two, and Jim is like, fuck.

We're going to lose it by 18. We have 16 more holes for him to run. So usually you do it like, it's really hard, and finally by the 18th hole, you win the thing. This is the opposite structure of a story, where you get the victory, and then it's like, how do you get Michael to shut the fuck up? That's great. We always said that 30 minutes with him, like with Michael Scott, not with Corral, I would spend an hour with him. But 30 minutes with him, an hour, you wouldn't fully get the sense of him.

He's nice. He's friendly. He's got some cheesy jokes. A little quirky. It's like, all right. So it's like, no, no, four hours on a golf course. That's where you really see the substance of a man. He never did

right there was obviously jim no no he didn't do it no it's just like again we had like note cards like it looks like a serial killers like room just like yeah no cards everywhere which is like it would literally say like michael michael wins a client on you know the second hole that would just be that no card and then you'd be like should we try that one was that just like your life for you know however many years like constantly like scenarios oh my god yeah dialogue all that shit was that something to trick your not trick or train your brain to not think that way like i know i know mindy will still i don't know if she still does but there was a time where mindy would tweet like some things i wish i could write for michael oh yeah

and it would just be a list a few things like all. Is that something that comes up still in the modern day where you're like, damn, I could write a good Michael bit about that? Every so often, yeah. I wanted Michael to think that there were five seasons, that there was summer, winter, spring, autumn, and fall. And I think I came up with that like three years ago and it's like well I have no idea you guys are the only ones that are ever going to hear it

I hope that people think that's funny I don't care yeah that's like the Twitter account back when Twitter wasn't the absolute cesspool that it is now the modern sign film you know that was so good and I feel like that you could do that for this as well

it's like unwritten Michael Scott storylines. But they just pop into your head. It's like, I don't know what other character I'm going to do that forever. I think that's funny, right? There's only five seasons. It's so stupid, but I don't know where it goes. Who was your favorite character to write for? I mean, it's...

God, it's so hard. Michael? I mean, he was just like... Yeah, so wait. When you write an episode... You had a few Pac-Man episodes, though, right? I definitely wrote for him. I think I wrote Well Hung.

Did you really? Damn. See, that's the other one. Big William Hung. Did you really? Damn. Yeah. See, that's the other one. Big William Hunk. I just did my first reality show that will come out next year, and it's basically called Goat, and it's basically all these, like, someone from Vanderpump, someone from Real Housewives,

and they all live in a house together and vote each other off. It's someone from Survivor. It's the greatest of all time for reality show contestants. Really? Can you say who's on it? Yeah. Oh, yeah. It was announced. Yeah, it was, like, Chris Kristen Doty from Vanderpump,

Jill Zarin, Tech from The Real World. Tech! Oh, yeah, we went back. We went back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't watch that much reality. William Hung does a cameo

in one of the episodes. He does the talent show competition. He's our judge. That's great. So what do you produce? I created the show, yeah. Got it. Yeah. And that means you come up with the challenges you you're producing I created I created the show yeah got it yeah and like that means

you come up with the challenges yeah it just means that I like fly to New York and like sit with you guys whenever I want

I came up with a concept with this guy Elon Gale who who's like kind of like the main producer on The Bachelor

and like did Bachelor in Paradise Bachelor Pad he worked on like 18 seasons of The Bachelor and then did I come up with seasons of the bachelor and then did i come up with any of the challenges probably not no i helped cast the show i helped sell it yeah

like it was we we uh we we just shot barstool survivor uh-huh um god damn that concept is just it's unbelievable it's unbelievable it's it is like a psychological – it's perfect. Yeah, it's incredible. Like when we all – we were like, we'll compete in some games. We'll do some votes, do a little backstabbing, whatever. Like two hours into it, I was like, I need more. At one point, I don't think it made any – we're airing it. We're in the process of airing it now.

We shot it like a month ago. In the process of – as I was doing it it like a month ago um in the process of as i was doing it one of my i was lying just to lie yeah again one of my confessionals i was like i don't know why i'm telling this lie about the vote this like one thing i told him i i accidentally voted for blah blah i was like there's no reason for this he's off the show and like but i'm just doing it to do it. Maybe a monster. Do you prefer participating or creating or writing or however you participate in reality or scripted? I would say scripted. But I have like – I just like to do – like if I don't have like 15 things going, then I'm – I get like –

Feel – I get antsy. Yeah. Like I'm like – I'm very busy and I'm like fuck I don't have enough I don't have enough going on so and and I think like I mean I've been doing it for I've been out there for uh what working I guess I've been out in LA for like 25 years and I've been or no well hold on 99 24 years and I've been working for like 18 or 19 as a writer yeah um and and then five years of just like desperate desperate to be a writer and doing all the other shit.

And I'm kind of at a point now where it's like if I like something, I feel like – and I feel like I can see the path through it. So it's like doing a reality show. I love reality. So it's like, oh, cool. I get to like cast and like put together people I love into like a house together and see them like fight and get drunk and all that stuff. That's really fun. But like, I'm writing a thriller, like literally, like I was sitting in my hotel lobby, like

working on a thriller. Is one easier than the other, you think? It's all hard. I was going to say that. It's all hard. And it actually is annoying because, you know, I've been pretty successful and I keep thinking like, oh, now it's going to get easier. And like, they'll start sending me stuff and whatever and it's like no no like everything

i generate myself yeah like and every single time they're like the studio or the network is like i don't know about this and it's like yeah prove it yeah you're like what do you mean yeah like look at my resume what else do i have to prove god damn it it. So you haven't even – I was reading recently – what was it? Zack Snyder, I think. Yeah. Talking about after 300 where it kind of changed where people were just like, whatever you want to do, do. Wow. Have you had – you haven't had that.

God, I need to get on with Zack Snyder things. But you get to – it seems like you get to do whatever – and obviously I don't know what doesn't get made. But, I mean, you've had so much made that's also successful i think i think that i like i think i mean i hope i i i think that i have a pretty good eye for like what what could work and so it's like you know i write with different people on different things sometimes i write i write by myself so i'm kind of like okay like the thriller i'm working on i have never written a thriller before i don't know that people would think of me as like the guy from the office or jury duty they're not gonna get him oh i can't wait to like see what lee does with thriller so one part is the selling of it and the other part is like

oh god am i gonna sound like it like you know am i gonna write like dumb dialogue where like the cops are like it was like over you know like i'm like i'm like you know like does the lingo sound dumb and so i i found this writer gordon smith who uh who just got emmy uh got nominated for an emmy for better call saul he worked on uh yeah he worked on that for the entire run that's a good and you're looking for that yeah and it was just like oh gordon and i just sat and like bat around this thing and then i'd also be like is this like if i was working on a comedy with someone who never done a comedy before like there are things that annoy me in comedies yeah that like i know like oh that don't we can't

do that like what's what's like your biggest pet peeve the most annoying thing that i read in a lot of scripts is uh where someone goes uh you know uh you know uh hey david and they go danny okay thanks david we're like they fuck up someone's name yeah like the boss the boss who's like too busy to remember like nine out of ten comedy scripts have that joke structure, yeah. That's so funny. The one that gets me is the, someone's urgently trying to tell someone something.

Oh, and the person interrupts. But they won't hear them. Oh, I lose my mind. Wait, explain this. Like, it's very like, I was watching Modern Family the other night and it happened. And it's just like,

something's on fire. But you're in the middle the other night and it happened. And it's just like something is on fire. But you're in the middle of ranting and it's like – They just don't – Gloria. Gloria. If only a person acted like a human and the scene wouldn't exist. It's very frustrating for me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There are certain things that you look –

The stove is on fire. You could tell by the way he's talking to you. You would stop talking because something important has happened right i even think but there's just certain things about television that it's just like conversations ending yeah they're not they're it's not natural like like when like the like the combo like i say something you say something and then like the person just like walks out of the room and it's like that's never how it really goes it's funny like i i've been watching gray's anatomy from the beginning with my wife i'd never i'd seen like a few episodes great show great network drama like there's like amazing story moves and like really good surprises

but it's very soapy and there's that exact thing where like a scene will end and it's like no no no the scene didn't end you guys have arbitrarily chosen this as a dramatic moment like someone would be like, well, hold on. I have five follow-up questions. Can you just stand there instead of looking at me? And then we'll slowly fade away. Hold on. I just wanted to double check.

When you said that my dad was dying, and I had to look at surprise because I didn't know it was my dad. Just a couple queries. I've tried to like, you know, I've been through a breakup that last six hours before. It's not just like this is not going to work and I walk away. It's like, no, they're screaming and fighting and crying and pulling. But I guess also

you can't do all that because a TV show would be so agonizing. There's a lot of like you write in the thing like you do the thing and then you write like, you know, off Kevin's look. Yeah. And then you're like, okay, cool. We're off Kevin's look. All right.

And away we go. That's the magic of it. Right. I really do feel though like the dinner party and Scott's Tots. Like when you can reference that, it's almost like a movie. I can say that title. Yeah. And people know that, it's almost like a movie. I can say that title. Yeah. And people know that.

It's amazing. And that is like, you know, there's hundreds and hundreds and thousands, hundreds of thousands of TV episodes. And you know a couple of them by name. Yeah. You know? That deserves more, like, love and clout than, like, it gets. That's what I'm saying.

You know what I mean? Yeah. But, like like if a if a screen if a movie writer director screenplay i don't know the right term writes a good good will hunting you know everyone talks about matt damon and bill ben affleck how they stole that shit um but like everybody talks about that one piece and it's like maybe it was a little bit shorter or whatever but that's just as fucking you know important as those things no look i mean i think with tv like tv's in your like it's in your home you know what i mean like there's something very cozy yeah like i mean this guy what and you're like and now it's like you

can just like people are re-watching the like the office is more successful now more popular i should say than it was when i worked on it i I think. How much money are you making on these? How much do I make? Yeah, on these residuals. Like when the, it was Netflix when it first like. It was Netflix and now it's on Peacock. When that first like revolution happened, were you guys like, holy shit. It's not like. What's that stat?

It's like 89 million minutes have been watched in like the week or something like that. Here's the, like the thing with that stuff is like when you're a writer on someone else's show, you get residuals for the episodes you wrote. So I think I wrote – I think I was on the staff for like 150 episodes of The Office or 125 or something like that. I wrote I think 16 or 15 and then I directed two. So I only get residuals on the things I wrote and directed. I see. Yeah.

So it's good money but like that's not how I make my living. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's great money. For someone like Greg Daniels. Greg Daniels. He's getting all of it. Greg Daniels is getting quite a bit of it. I believe that Rick Gervais and Stephen Merchant are doing pretty well from it.

Ben Silverman. Man, that's got to be the real dream. Actually, I don't know. I wonder. There's so much debate about the british versus the american one and you know when you're cashing checks from all of it it's probably like who cares but i bet there's got to be some feeling of like you know mine versus yours or like i wish i could have been a part of this one or i don't know you're saying for the british guys yeah yeah i mean steven's a very good friend of mine we're working on a movie together now we did a show called hello ladies uh he you know is there ever any like any ball

busting no i think like they i i'm not friends with ricky i've met ricky a few times but like look what they did was so groundbreaking and incredible they really kind of created this paradigm and then the american office was able to kind of stand on its own. I think that Steven likes the show, and I'm sure they love the money. You know what I mean? It's a fun thing to create something, and then it turns into something in a way that you could never have imagined. There was that moment at the Golden Globes.

Do you remember this? What was it? Ricky was hosting. Ricky, and he said something to Steve or something? And Steve was introducing Steve. And he he said and they're both so talented so i could never tell if they were it was a bit but ricky's also you know an asshole yeah ricky was like he's like i guess you know just create a hundred million dollar show and he just decides he doesn't want to do it whatever steve carell everybody and then carell came out and kind of was just like a little like

awkward or whatever he did and i honestly don't know if it became a thing because it was so long ago. But I remember watching it and being like, that felt a little real. I think that Ricky goes for it in that way. And I think that Steve is incredibly nice and kind and humble. And I think that Ricky is like an insult comic when he's like doing the Golden Globes. And so I don't know. Honestly, I don't know what's real or not real in that. When Steve Carell did The Morning Show and was that monster character, it was weird. It felt weird.

It felt weird. As a person with a functioning brain, you sit there and go, it's an actor. But part of me was like, what's going on? What's going on? It's really hard. You look at some of these people like Jason Alexander. Yeah, he's exactly the same. One of the greatest roles of all time. And it's just hard sometimes to pull them – to find a way to find them in a different thing.

You ever seen him in Criminal Minds? No. Is he good? It's awesome. No, he is great. But if you've not seen him at all, I've got to show him to you because it is – You've got to show him to you? I don't think so.

Dude, Jason Alexander in Criminal Minds you got you just got to see it we do uh we just a fan of ours just made a ksu radio bingo card uh you know for anytime john references criminal mind it happens a staggeringly large amount of times on this podcast. Bro, I'm trying to... Nobody loves his comfort TV. Oh, my God. That's wild. He's like... Oh, I have seen him before, yes. He's one of the bad guys in Criminal Minds.

That Harris. He's doing a lot of the heavy lifting. There's got to be... I mean, you know, whatever. But if I'm Jason Alexander, I'm in my trailer or whatever it is getting ready going, I'm fucking George. What am I doing?

People want to work. We mentioned earlier that we had just had Buble in here, and he was talking about how he gets to live basically a pretty normal life. And he's like, I'm a regular guy. People know me and all that stuff. And I actually didn't get to ask him this question question but i think it kind of applies to you as well we're like are there times where because i imagine as a writer and a producer and creator it's not the hollywood life in the sense that paparazzi's chasing the people coming up to you

and all that kind of stuff yeah are there times where you're in a room and you're just like these motherfuckers don't even know yeah Yeah. I don't know what I did. I don't know what my resume looks like. I didn't know where you were going with it. It was like, because I was like, hmm, you really don't understand what a writer is that like the paparazzi is chasing me.

No, not at all. Yeah. But like, are you like, I was going to say, are you sometimes like, he's about how at school,

it's like, I'm just Mike. Like, I just pull up, I drop the kids off. Yeah. And like, sometimes we're like,

yo, I'm not just Mike. Yeah. I'm drop the kids off yeah and like other sometimes we're like yo i'm not just mike yeah i'm fucking michael buble right right are you like well i think i've thought about a lot i mean not in like how dare you not know who i am but a little bit of like if you are you know seven two and you're in good shape, then people are like, oh, I bet that guy plays basketball. Yeah, yeah. And, like, I'm 5'9", and, like, auto-Zempic, and, like, barely holding on. You know what I mean? Like, no one's looking at me, and they're like, oh, I wonder what this guy does for a living. You know what I'm saying? And so it's like, there's a pretty good chance that, like,

you know, they've seen The Office or Jury Duty or, you know, Lessons in Chemistry is on now, and, like, the... On Apple TV+. And, like, you know, I chemistry is on now and like the uh on apple tv plus and like you know i think with those things it's like it's a weird thing like when the office was at its peak and people the uh what's it called the video ipods at first come out that was a thing huge and the office was kind of like the one of the first shows that got licensed to it so it was and it and the type of person that watched the office had money, you know, disposable income to buy that sort of thing. So I would be on an airplane or on a train.

I used to take trains. And things were a little dire before I got those office residuals. Bro, I'm like Biden, dude. I'll stand for the train, dude. I love trains. I love trains. No, but I would take the train from New York to Boston for Thanksgiving. And then I would have flown from L.A. to New York. But you would, like, you'd see people just like watching it.

Yeah, watching it. That was fucking cool. And like – yeah, and you have that thing of like you have no idea who I am because I'm nobody. Dude, I wrote the TV scene. I just love it. I just love it. That was me. You wrote fucking hardworking alpha male Jackhammer, right?

Yeah. That's fucking crazy, bro. There's no iconic lines. We sold a t-shirt with that we owe you money we had a very very popular t-shirt that like kept the bills getting paid that just had you know the words listed out like that paparazzi should be chasing you it's funny you mentioned that the ipod i remember i i did that with always sunny i had a video ipod and i would was commuting from the fordham bronx campus to the manhattan campus yeah

and i would watch it and i just have like this fond memory of being on that shuttle van and having that and the music and the like and those sort of shows are so goddamn important to people's lives that you know i mean comfort tv it does it does not even do it justice where it's no but i think it's like i mean important in like society like the i still despite what i do i've never really gotten into podcasts but the way people talk about podcasts is how i feel about those type of shows i'm like i just want to see what my friends are getting into today. Yeah. I think that's,

I mean, particularly like I love movies obviously, but you know, TV, like if you can hold onto characters, I mean, lessons in chemistry is, is,

is eight hours long. You know what I mean? So it's like, it's four times. Yeah. And like, but that's four times longer than a movie. And so you're able to kind

of like invest in the characters and also the fact when these shows come out once a week like i i actually i don't like the binging uh model as a creator like having something where it's like if you if you make something good if you make something bad you're like fuck get it out get it out just get it off the fucking thing last for all tuesday night for you guys. When you have anticipation, when something builds and you feel it, and you just get those emails, and then you get the more emails, and then the text, and all that stuff. Having the Reddit pages and the theories and the fan fiction. People get really swept up in that stuff in a way that it's really hard to in a movie

because a movie, in some ways, is a little bit more disposable. You know what I mean? But then you have the ultimate. I thought you were saying that Lessons in Chemistry is short. I guess that's longer than a movie. But then you have a series of movies where you have hundreds of episodes to work with. Oh, yeah. With Lessons in Chemistry, are you a writer or a creator?

All of it. All of it? Yeah. So how does that work from going from book? Oh, book and everything. Yeah. How can I be more clear? Is that your first?

I'm sure it's not your first, but how does that work? Doing a script off a book, is that harder? Is that easier? In some ways it's easier because there are just great story moves in there that you're like, oh my god, great, I don't have to come up with that. And the character in a lot of ways was there. The way a book is kind of laid out is so different from a script and so there were there were times where like you were just pulling whole sections and then kind of adjusting a little bit but there

are just other things where it's like oh there's a paragraph in the book and i was like oh that could be an episode oh really and so yeah and so you're just like i'm gonna try doing this thing and it's like all right that's like very cool so you're just like, I'm going to try doing this thing. And it's like, all right, that's like – Very cool. So you can play around with it. And so I think that having a framework – like when you don't have a framework, when you're literally sitting there and there's a blank page, like Stephen Merchant loves that.

We talk about it all the time. That's pretty daunting. He loves possibility. He loves like – when he's done with something, he's like, now I get to come up with something new. Like, how fun is that? And I'm like, that is terror to me yeah yeah and so uh i having the book as kind of a backdrop like in

the writer's room like we were we would constantly be like referring to and stuff like that but we also like we made we made it our own too yeah uh my mom loved the book and loves the show go on i i haven't seen it yet um because it's a weird thing when your parents tell you something, you're kind of like, fuck you, I'm not doing it. The Venn diagram of what you and your mom like on TV. It's actually very high. Well, then you have no excuse. She actually, I mentioned, I was interviewing today,

and she's like, I love that book, I love that show. That's very sweet. And I was like, it was this morning, she just told me about it. So I was like, oh, okay, I do have to watch it. But I have not seen it yet. but she is a big big thing how uh how confident were you that jury duty was gonna work uh i don't know like zero percent maybe like were you that surprised maybe like five percent wow yeah i mean these things it's like i never go to anything thinking like no No. So you complete that. Yeah. And then I don't know. It's probably got to go – like before it airs.

I don't know. It's got to go through whatever it goes through. And that whole – so when you're done with it, you say to yourself like that was a waste of time. That's not going to – I didn't think it was a waste of time. So that like part of you – well, okay. But like you're thinking that's not going to be successful on TV. I worked on this. We had – I'm sure it was a million moving parts and you're like, eh, that's probably not going to work.

I mean, I'll tell you. You want to hear the evolution of this pair? Yes, please. I would love to hear it. So Gene and I have been developing a jury duty idea for a while. These producers, Dave Burnett and Todd Schulman, came to us and said, what if we did it as a – they also had a jury duty idea. And what if we do it as kind of jury duty,

where it's basically a hidden camera show, but it goes on for an entire season. One idea. And like, what if we do it as kind of like jury duty, like where it's, it's basically a hidden camera show, but it goes on for an entire season. One idea. I thought it was really cool. And I'm lazy. I already had these other characters and stuff. So I was like, oh, I can kind of make some money. Like I already, I've already done some of the heavy lifting.

Oh, like written just for other. Yeah. We kind of been working on these characters and stuff like that. Like the chair pants idea and things like that. The chair pants wasn't us, but yeah. Like that sort of thing. But yes, you have those things you put into this. Exactly.

Got it. Like the kid whose girlfriend cheated on him. Yes. Like that's a joke from like 10 years ago. Got it. Wow, wow, wow. And so I was like, Dave is the executive producer of White Lotus. White Lotus was very hot.

It felt like a really good kind of group. It was like me and Gene kind of doing something in the vein of The Office. It felt like, oh, okay, people are going to want to do this. And we pitched it around town, and we got one offer. We got a few fake offers where the money was so low, not for me. I'm not saying I would get paid not a lot of money, although I wouldn't have. The budget of the episodes was so low that it's like, well. You're trying to say no without saying no.

Yeah, exactly. You offer me like fifty thousand dollars to make something that costs a million you're like you're saying no right and so we ended up doing it free at freebie and at the time freebie wasn't like it was called imdb tv yeah oh i remember i remember yeah i remember i didn't because yeah episode one was on imdb yeah and so it was like and so people would say like what are you working on and i would i had a bunch of things i was working on but like and i i love jury duty i was always excited about it but like i'd be like oh it's on freebie and people like what's freebie like you know what i mean it was like that kind of thing where it's like the network hadn't established itself yet they didn't have a brand or an identity

and so and then then you have to pull it off so like we shoot the show and we're like oh like because you're basically all these places they were buying a show that might not air because if ronald finds out that it's like what are you are you gonna air three episodes yeah ronald got upset like right it's really complicated it's it's like it's kind of like a uh like a tight wire act tightrope act. One of the ropes or wires. And so it's just a different thing than lessons in chemistry, which I could have been destroyed in a different way.

Every one of these things, you finish it, and then you're like, how will I be destroyed? How will it go wrong? Is that something you think about more in streamings as that's happened? Like things have gotten cut for tax breaks and things like that? Are you like shit that might they might even put that out i haven't thought about that with my stuff yeah but i mean it's all like i've gotten very i i worked on ghostbusters 3 for yeah four or five years and like didn't get made so that that was like a a sequel like yeah that was gonna be like a like but it's'll be a passing of the torch okay so it

wasn't it wasn't the old guys young guys oh they were gonna be in it the old guys were gonna be in it and then uh and then it was gonna be vanquish son got it uh and you know at the time it was gonna be like seth rogan you know jonah hill jason siegel emma stone no i'm not saying i had them but i'm saying oh that was like that would have been the idea i was like how did this not work and then and you had that like fully written oh yeah i mean i was like i was in development at sony with it for four years like meeting with ivan reitman who you know who's now passed away howald ramus uh initially did the story with us passed away like you know i we were i mean harold me and gene and harold gene and harold were incredibly. I was very tight with Harold. And then we were also really tight with Ivan.

I mean, like, we developed that thing with him for years. And then, like, politics? It just didn't quite, yeah, like, all those, you know, it was a lot of big personalities, and they didn't match. But then suddenly, like, the other one comes out, and then it's like, so that's, there's no chance of that now? Well, I mean I think with Harold passing, with Ivan passing, like I think – I really am so proud of what we did on that script. But like – and like it was at a point where like Sony was like, yeah, we'll make it. And I was like that's a really hard thing to do.

And I was like, oh my god, I'm going to write Ghost – like Ghostbusters 3. And that was also like, I don't know, 12 years ago. You know what I mean? Like that would have been a nice little career change you know the you mentioned how when when jury duty came out you didn't think it was going to be a big hit and well i mean like like after like after i saw it i was like oh this is this is pretty funny yeah and then i showed it to i remember showing it to my in-laws like the pilot and then and then they're like oh can we watch another one and i was like sure you

don't have to and they're like no no yeah we want to watch another one okay that was that was a right away show i i came in after like one or two episodes you guys gotta watch and then like they watched like four in a row and like and i was like oh that's weird they were just being nice like that's what i felt yeah you know what i mean like they're just being nice and then the trailer came out because again no one had seen it like i you know this is this is like six months before the show comes out that i was showing to people because obviously i have the cuts of it and uh and then the trailer came out and when the trailer came out like people kind of lost their minds for the trailer and like it exploded on tiktok and i was like

huh okay and then and then like the first with it and then and then the reviews were bad oh really the reviews initially were really bad. Yeah, these motherfuckers, they don't know anything. So it was like 40% on Rotten Tomatoes. The first review was good or something, and then it just plummeted, and I was like, oh, God. Dude, see, that is crazy to me

because I would say that that was a masterpiece of serendipity. It all came together perfect. If I was a critic, I think I would be like, this is a magnum opus. This is amazing. So what is there bad to say about that? The way that all came together was like truly lightning in a bottle, like once in a lifetime. The thing I care about more than anything is, because I go on Rotten Tomatoes, just constantly refreshing everything.

Do you? Oh, yeah. But all I care about is the audience score. Dude, I've always said my favorite movies, I look for the biggest discrepancy in critic and audience. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, like Saving Silverman, there's like an 85% difference. The movie's great. It's great. Don't get me wrong. I want to have high on

both, but like... Sure, of course. So like Jury Duty had like, Jury Duty's audience score is like 98% or 96% or whatever. I'm saying like I don't know. 96.2? I'm now obsessed with lessons in chemistry. I haven't done Jury Duty in a while. But like, you know, with those things, it's like all I want is like for people to connect to it. You know what I mean?

Like if the critics don't like it, it's like whatever. Have you ever had the opposite of what you had with Jury Duty? Where the critics like it? Where you finished it and you were like, that's a fucking heater. That's a 10 out of 10. This is going to blow up. It's going to change my career.

And then it came out and just did not have that reception at all. He's going to say no. He's like, all my shit is fire. No, everything hits. No, I did the show We Crashed with Jared Leto and Anne Hathaway. And I watched the early cuts of that. And I was like,

did I create the social network? Did I do a social network as a TV show? I was like, so... I love that show. I'm really proud of it. And I thought like... Wait, that's the WeWork? The WeWork one, yeah.

That didn't do well. No, it did well. But I'm saying that like I thought that like – I thought it was going to like change the face of television. I didn't think that. But I was like – I thought like, oh, this is it. And like how are Jared and Annie not – Annie to her friends and Anne Hathaway to YouTube. And to scrubs. YouTube degenerates. You are Miss Anne Hathaway to YouTube. And to scrubs. To ozos. YouTube degenerates.

You call her Miss Anne Hathaway in my presence. But Annie, they – I was like, oh, they're going to win every single award. Like I thought the performance was incredible and then – and we didn't get nominated for anything. But the show did very well. Right. But it was just one of those things where I was like – I thought that like – I was like, what should I wear to the Emmy? Sure. And then just like, yeah, exactly.

Start writing my acceptance speech sort of thing. Right, right, right. How does something like that happen? Because I feel like we're in kind of like an age, and I actually really like it, like the docudrama about business. Yeah. Like I feel like there's so many,

how does that trend work through Hollywood? Does someone hear that you're working on WeWork, so someone else wants to do, what's the one with Uber with Kyle Chandler? Oh, Super Pumped? Super Pumped. Yeah. And then there was the Beanie Baby on, Blackberry, Air. How does that spread through Hollywood?

Is it just like one does well, so everyone – Copycat type shit? I think that there's a Vanity Fair article. Like, you know, SBF, like, from FTX. Like, the number of people, particularly on the heels of We Crash, the number of things that was like, hey, I know someone who knows SBF. Hey, like, there's an article that's coming out. Hey, there's an unpublished book. Like, hey, like, I got sent five times. And so it's like, you know, the people in Hollywood are just you guys, right?

So it's like we just sit around and, like, we read cool shit're like our friend is like oh you don't know about we like you oh my god you need to watch this documentary about we work you're like oh okay yeah i heard about it you're watching you're like oh my god this is insane like and so i think that the rise and fall stories right so it's like fire festival like that was that was like that burned bright for a second right and like people were like how do we do fire festival as a series how do we do something captivating about that and so i think like sick fucks out there yeah when you see like the rise and fall and you like see something like someone's on the you know in a private plane and then the next thing is like they're you know begging for change like yeah or they start begging for change they get on the

private plane and then they realize that there's more life than the private plane you know it's like those character arcs i think that's how it works yeah the uh to go back to jury duty because we we had uh james marsden on and we had ronald we were very big fans of that and i i just think that is so unique that like you know you can write a bunch of sitcoms and they're different but they're essentially kind of the same thing. And then you have this thing that – but that guy, I remember telling him, I was like, you need to go like get an agent and negotiate and like – because I think he was explaining like how he needed to sign off on something at the end or some shit like that. Yeah. And I was like, how much did you like get for this in the end? I think he said he won like 100 grand.

100 grand, yeah. And I was like, it should be more than that. I'd be like, if I'm signing off on this final thing to go out there. I mean, because he was – you could scour the earth a million times over looking for a better person for that. You would never find it. He's the best dude ever. That was perfection. Didn't he just sign?

I saw something. He did sign. He's the best dude ever. Didn't he just sign? I saw something. He did sign. He has a deal at Amazon. Now his time has come because I was like, he's likable. He's handsome. He's tall. He's funny. He seems to be the most genuinely nice dude in the world.

Genuinely nice guy. So, I mean, holy shit. When we interviewed him, I remember a long time ago, back when Bill Simmons had page two, he wrote an article about Drew Brees after the Saints won the Super Bowl. And it was this season coming back, and he was like, this is who you want your quarterback to be because he's still balding, and he didn't get his birthmark removed. And we interviewed Ronald.

We had James in the studio, but we had Ronald on Zoom. And Ronald was just like, I think one of his blinds behind him were like askew still. And I was like, that's the guy right there. He had a G-unit shirt on. A G-unit t-shirt on. This guy is fucking awesome. He hasn't gotten all the vanity fixed. He's still just like, whatever is going on.

Yeah, I was like, the phone is about to start ringing, buddy. Oh, yeah. He's having a moment. Someone was like – I can't remember if there was some award show or some premiere, and someone was like, is Ronald going? I was like, Ronald will be there. Ronald will be there. He loves to party. I was going to say.

He's in the mix. Yeah, when you go from, I think he's working construction or something to like, yeah, can you make it to the red carpet tonight, Ronald? Like, yeah. I will be there. Oh, yeah. You've got to ride that rocket as long as you can. He's living his best life. So all of this actually came about, though, because of this new business venture you're on.

Yes. With the duvet. Yeah. And anybody who I brought it up to and just like quickly explained it to, they go, oh, I need that. Yeah. I need that. Jackie was one of them. Is Jackie back there now?

Yeah. Jackie was like, I need that shit. I need that. But like I'm interested in like as you're writing this and pitching that and blah, blah, blah, you're also like I got to go start the consumer goods business. I didn't feel like I had enough going on. And I was like, you know what? Like I need to get into linens. I need to get into linens in a bad way i'm done with hollywood i gotta scratch my linens itch no i mean look i think that so yeah so i started this thing called uh nuve uh nuvehome.com and it's a like it's all storytelling to me and so

i putting on a duvet fucking sucks yeah everyone hates it there's not a single person that's like actually i think the way you know the way it's designed right now i prefer it and so i was just all i do for a living is problem solve like you you know i'm writing a thriller and it's like well how did the bad guy get out of like you know the car the police you know the yeah yeah yeah i don't know how to say any of and it's like, well, how did the bad guy get out of like, you know, the cars, the police, you know, the. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know how to say any of them. It's like the police copters are after him.

The hella choppers. This is gonna be a disaster. No, but it's like, how does it, you know, how does the bad guy get away? Right. So you spend hours and hours either by yourself staring at your screen or researching or talking to your writing partner and saying like, what if there was an underground tunnel what if there was this and everything is what if that's like that's the possibility of everything and whether you're working on the office or trying to sell duvets or or doing a podcast like to me it's like what like how do you kind of keep things fresh and so duvet covers suck i was like i have a fix for it i went online to try to find it i couldn't

and then which is a weird thing yeah you're like it's like i go online and everything i've ever needed is there like you know what i mean like every idea everything i need so when you find something that's not there it's like wait a second i finally found a version of it and i was like oh this is like the website was janky like the like the zipper was terrible and i was like oh this is like the website was janky like the like the zipper was terrible and i was like oh i could do i could just do i think i could do this better i know nothing about linens my dad my dad was in the clothing business like in children's clothing like that's the closest and i worked in the warehouse and like you know put put clothes in boxes and stuff but like i hired a patent broker uh and we found the woman who had this patent.

She had the same idea as me. She had the patent in Australia, and the patent broker went to her. It doesn't say, like, hey, it's just like a schmucky guy from Hollywood. Just like, hey, I'm collecting some patents, and we want to buy your patent. And I think she, I was like, okay, how much will I spend?

How much will I spend on the patent? I think I was like, in my head, I was like, I could spend $10,000. It's a lot of money, but like for kind of a side hustle in a business that you have nothing to do with. And she goes, $800,000. And I was like, I was going to say, $10,000 seems low to me.

If someone's coming up with a patent, thinking they have a business idea. But she doesn't have a business. So she goes, $800,000. And I was like and i was like do i need a patent because like you know you gotta do without whatever yeah yeah and then so we said no thank you and she goes 150,000 and i was like oh i like negotiating with her and then uh and then obviously i did not spend 150,000 years went by where i kind of got busy with hollywood stuff

and i always had this idea and And like, what I do is, like some writers are very protective of their stuff and they don't like to talk about it. I do the opposite. I like tell everyone

kind of everything I'm working on. And part of it is accountability so that like, I'll bump into you guys like a year from now and be like,

hey, whatever happened to that thriller? And I'm like, oh, fuck, I didn't work on that thriller. And now I'm like,

I do that a lot. The helicopter crash. Yeah, the helicopters. If I say it, it's sickening because it's like people in my – myself and my family and friends should matter the most. But it's like if I tell the anonymous audience something that I'm going to do, that keeps me more accountable. But it's true. So that's what I did.

So I would just like – my friend came up with the name Nuveh and I like oh that's also a new way to duvet and then and i would just like every dinner party and i would like talk to people and then and you know i have good connections and i started like talking to like i like got someone to do a sample for me in la and then i was showing it to people and then i partnered up during the pandemic. I partnered up with a woman who goes back and forth between L.A. and Pakistan. Her family has a manufacturing plant. So she became my partner in it, and then we started exchanging samples. And I would literally show up to your house with three Nuves. They're not small.

Yeah. It's like, what do you think? How do you like this zipper what do you think of this fabric this is 100 supreme cotton you like it and like and everything then i hired a branding company and it's like uh my wife came up with less struggle more snuggle and it's like oh my god you guys got a lot yeah and so it's like all these things and it's like again it's all storytelling like my like my thinking for like pitching it to men was like uh it's so easy even a man can do it and you know what i mean it's like all that stuff and it's all storytelling like my like my thinking for like pitching it to men was like uh it's so easy even a man can do it and you know what i mean it's like all that stuff and it's just like

you're just riffing and like i have like a marketing team and i have all these different things i put together like the company is just me like literally just like me and my partner and then like everyone else is kind of like uh whatever subcontractors yeah um but now we just gotta get that woman in australia whacked yeah no but it's one of those things where it's just like i just get excited about like like i made a commercial yeah it's like it's a new project to me and so i have a slate that my my hollywood office like we go through my slate and it's like hey what's happening with that podcast idea what's happening with that documentary what's happening with that you know that feature whatever and then the nuve is on the list and we talk about it and it's like like getting it out to celebrities like getting it to influencers meeting you guys like all that

kind of stuff is like it's like putting together a project to me yeah so it's it doesn't matter what it is as long as there's kind of that end goal. That is one of those things, though, that is universally like, fucking, what the fuck? I've never used one. Well, that's the other thing. I'm not an adult. He doesn't have sheets on his bed, let alone a duvet, let alone a cover for the duvet.

I'm like Ronald with the thing askew still. I don't know. It's fine. You're like, wow, that's a nice room he's got. Whoa, he's got blinds? I don't have blinds. I don't know. It's fine. You're like, wow, that's a nice room he's got. Whoa, he's got blinds? I don't have blinds. I don't have curtains. I don't have –

You can see – it is actually creepy how much you can just see into his apartment. Do you sleep with like a quilt? I have literally right now currently – since the last time I said I didn't have sheets on my bed, sheets have gone on my bed, but again, they're off. So last night I slept, no sheets on my bed. Just like on a mattress oh yeah like that like satiny mattress material like your face is just like on your pillow you have pillow cases you have a mom who watches lessons in chemistry and then she allows you to just to just kind of like she's pretty gangster

she's pretty gangster holly really is like i don't know fucking sleep like a homeless person i don't give a shit yeah yeah that's uh but but when i so i kind of tested it i was like you know i'm asking people and he's like i don't know what it is like i don't even know what a duvet is jackie's eyes lit up and she was like i need that yeah you know so it's like i mean it just like it's just better like i don't even i like i'm like it's empirically – it's just better. Like I don't even – like it's empirically better. Like in the way that like – You don't need a pitch or like I don't need to win you over. It's just like I fixed a thing. You made a thing in the world easier.

You used to kind of like – to the uninitiated and I'm looking at you. You put – you have a comforter and you put the duvet cover over it and you're like trying to feel like in the corners. You shove it in the middle. And you go on YouTube and people are like flipping it inside out. And mine is open-faced. So it's literally like the commercial I did was you don't make a sandwich by having two pieces of bread and trying to like shove turkey meat into it. That is not the way we make sandwiches. Right, right.

And like yet somehow for like a duvet cover, you're just like, oh, I guess it in and so it's like no it's open-faced you put it down there's like pockets in the corners you put it in the corners you see your work and you just kind of zip and then zip it on three sides and it's done like and a zipper is faster than buttons that is that's empirical i mean like the fact that button flies still exist are're crazy i mean just zip zip like yeah it is it's it's it's not you know uh one of life's like most you know greatest hardships but it's when you're doing it you're always like fuck yeah and now it's just doesn't have to be that's like that's kind of a cool thing to be just like it made something made something like better yeah just made the made the world a better place the world a better place it's a cool thing to solve because i feel like of all the things society complains about one of the

biggest ones but the the hardships and the whole bad process yeah i mean you really you cut out the middleman in a way that i couldn't even have come up with which is just fuck it you guys are you guys are talking comforts i was like i forgot those existed i don't come for it did he say quilt i've tried to come up with a way for this, and I pretty much came up with a giant syringe where you just shove a duvet cover in it. And now I'm like, why did I just think about a zipper? You mean like you're pumping it?

Yeah, you take basically just a giant, how you take blood or put whatever, and then you pump a duvet into the thing. But like why did I just think about a zipper? I don't know. I don't know. You might have some competition. I don't know.

You've seen this drugs before you thought zipper? I don't know. I don't know. Like I was like it would be a giant piece of plastic. Anyways, point is like I was right on your heels. You're lucky. I walked into this. I didn't know I was going to be sitting across from my competition.

Shark tank over here. Jackie's actually just covering up her Australian accent. Nouveau home versus syringe bedding. You know when you want to get comfy, the first thing you think about is needles. I'll ask this too though do you think that this is the beginning of like uh a whole line of of home furnishing things because you can get into you know next thing you know you're like jessica alba and you have like a whole fantasy you know for real not just alba the honest company yeah like that she's done it right man i don't know

where that started but all of a sudden it's like, I don't need to do Hollywood anymore. I make like everything in your house. Yeah. Where it's like, you know, you have one reason, but now it's like, we'll just make everything. You make your pillowcase, we'll make you this, we'll make you that. Next thing you know, you know, new value home is in every fucking home in America. It's like. I mean, it's just honestly, it's the same thing.

Like, it's the same thing as like I do in Hollywood. It's like you build these things, like You have to build them from the ground up. So it's like we have three colors, and then we also have Bordons. Obviously, you know what a Bordon is, right? Of course. Yeah, of course. That's kind of like the hotel where it's like that satin kind of border in the middle of the thing. Sure.

Of the sheets. So we have three colors, and then we have the Bordon of the same thing. And then it's like, all right, let's see how this is doing. We've only been around for less than a year. We started – we launched in March. Right. You did it with Shopify, right? Shopify, yeah.

Shopify makes – it's so crazy how easy it is. It's like if you've ever – because my grandmother famously always invented things. And she always stuck to her guns and she invented the electric screwdriver. And I was like, you just had an idea, Grandma. You just said, I wish I didn't have – but you go through a patent quick, and if you can get something made, and then it's like, we'll sell it. You don't need a brick and mortar. Shopify will just get it out there for you. It's crazy.

No, it's amazing. And then the other cool thing is I get alerts every time that there's a sale. Hell yeah. there for you it's crazy no it's amazing and then the other cool thing is i get alerts every time that there's a sale i like literally woke up this morning and there was like and i i had my ringer on uh because i'm out of town and whatever and uh and it was just like i heard like ding ding hello queen blue nouvelle hello friend it's funny how that can become you know your passion it's like you would think hollywood writer and you want to write dialogue and characters. It's like, no, I want to sell these linens. It's true.

It's like one of these things where it's like I'll be in a meeting and I'll be in a meeting with big executives and stuff like that. And then I can't help myself. I bring it up to everyone. There's not a person that I've met. Literally people – I bumped into an old friend and I was like, did I tell you about my new vape? Like, my, you know, like, my betting business? He's like, yeah, of course. You've been telling me about it for a fucking year.

Yeah. Like, there's not a person that I've met. My wife rolls her eyes, like, literally. And also, like, when there's someone who's, like, not in Hollywood, and they're like, oh, I, like, I started, like, my own, like, you know, whatever, consumer goods thing. And, like, my wife is just like, oh, boy. Here we go. This person is in for it. They don't know what they just did.

They have no idea the general they're about to take. There will be a Zoom in their future where there will be a sandwich being made with my hands. You know how when we make sandwiches, it's over? A sandwich is a great selling point. A lot of people are going to go, oh yeah yeah that's great well man i mean that's i think that's a very cool point to get into life uh when you can just you know you've done some some stuff you like and succeed and then you can also be like i'm gonna try this thing over here yeah and that thing over

there i mean it's partly like the internet and a lot of technology allows that but it's also you know you got to be the type right of person, have the right type of success to do it all. But it's, put it up there with Scott's Tots and the dinner party. It's right there, man. I think, I have to double check. I'm pretty sure that there is a code KFC10. Okay.

Oh, cool. So 10% off. Awesome. What if I was like, it's KFC 10. It's 1% off. Love it. We'll make sure to get that up there. Excellent. Thank you very much. Appreciate the time.

Good talking to you guys. សូវាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប� Thank you. Bye.