KFC Radio - We Recount Old School Urban Legends - Full Episode

Episode Date: October 17, 2023

Timecodes: 0:00 Start 02:10 Out of Order Teacher's Boyfriend sketch hit 3 Mil 13:14 Surviving Barstool week recap 18:18 Love is Blind girl who broke up over his credit score 18:45 Love Is ...Blind couple: https://ew.com/tv/love-is-blind-season-5-izzy-credit-score-fight/ 24:22 3 Liter Mountain Dew 30:26 Old school urban legends 35:54 Don't date broke b**ches 46:43 Helicopter Parents 01:07:20 Does it matter if your significant other is rich? 01:22:24 Video Voicemails +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Stacker2 Energy: Buy Stacker2Chew Energy Gummies and B12 Energy Shots at Dollar General, where you can find all your favorite Stacker 2 products, or go to https://Stacker2.com. Pirate Water: Go to https://drinkpiratewater.com to find Pirate Water in a location near you or order on gopuff Factor Meals: Head to https://FACTORMEALS.com/kfc50 and use code kfc50 to get 50% off. Marine Layer: Find your new favorite fits and get 15% off @marinelayer with promo code KFC15 at https://marinelayer.com/KFC15. #marinelayerpod #adYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Alright folks, this is it. Cincinnati, Columbus, Pittsburgh. We are coming on the 18th, 19th, and 20th. That is the second-to-last leg of the tour. And then wrapping up things in Minneapolis, Detroit, and Buffalo on 17, 18, and 19. These are the last KFC Radio live shows for at least the foreseeable future. Perhaps forever.
Starting point is 00:00:33 You never know where the world is going to take us, but we're going to take some time off the touring. So you are, if you're coming to see us, that's one of the last tickets that we're going to be selling for a long time. So if you got your tickets, buckle up for an important affair. And if you haven't gotten your tickets yet, get them now. It's the last chance to see KC Radio Live for the foreseeable future. Bring a friend who has no idea what the show is. That'll be fun. It always works out.
Starting point is 00:00:56 It always does. People do that all the time. And the people who have never seen the show walk out saying they enjoy it and become fans. So check out at Kc radio on all social media links are in bio and come out to the six final shows in kc radio live history i'd actually like that bring a friend who doesn't know and then tell us afterwards how they enjoyed it or how much they hated it it'll be a fun either way today's episode is brought to you by stacker 2 loud aggressive and straight out of the attitude era Stacker 2 is the OG in the energy and supplement space.
Starting point is 00:01:28 Stacker 2 chew gummies pack a punch. They have a small package with big energy. The chew gummies and energy shots are designed to give you maximum energy while still tasting amazing. They have blue raspberry. They have pink lemonade. They have the other one. Grape flavored.
Starting point is 00:01:52 And they all have that bite-sized burst of delicious energy with 10,000% of your daily value of B12 vitamins that will help you take on whatever comes your way. So bite back with the stack. Go buy Stacker 2 chew energy gummies and B12 energy shots at Dollar General where you can find all your favorite Stacker 2 products or go to stacker2.com. It's another edition of KFC Radio on the Barstool Sports Network. That's your voice untouched? No, it's got one, two decimals brought up.
Starting point is 00:02:30 How much is that a fact? Give me, talk to my terms. I can play it for you. How about you do the voice that you did? You've got to do the voice you did. You've got to do the voice you did. I'll play the voice for you live. Okay, that's fair.
Starting point is 00:02:41 Give me the untouched voice. I keep saying touched. I don't know what the word is. Wait, I've had to do so many embarrassing things. Yeah, no. Yeah, do the fair. Give me the untouched voice. I keep saying touched. I don't know what the word is. Wait, I've had to do so many embarrassing things. Yeah, no. Yeah, do the voice. Do the voice. Do the voice or you're fired. Do the voice or you're fired.
Starting point is 00:02:54 Do the voice or you're fired. What's the line? Do the voice or you're fired. Jackie's so quickly jumped up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's right, though. She's right. It's not going to sound the same like I was in's right I'll do it What's the exact line It's like hi mister can you buy some
Starting point is 00:03:10 Girl scout cookies Do you have any girl scout cookies When I heard that I was like that has to be Digitally altered I'm happy Would you like to buy some girl scout cookies I'll kill that fucker if he's at my door right now I'm gonna open the door calm down
Starting point is 00:03:35 excuse me miss would you like to buy some girl scout cookies dude they're both pretty fucking creepy though I think I just got mixed up on what was and was but not digitally altered. That's the clip from Out of Order. So when that dropped, Fights was like, we were out, and he was like, you're not going to be able to hear it.
Starting point is 00:03:54 It's too loud right now. But when you go home, listen to it. Tell me who you think's voice that is. And I was like, I could not even begin to guess. So I hadn't heard it. I was like, I knew we were leaving a gap there. And I was went, so I hadn't heard it. I was like, I knew we were leaving a gap there and I was like,
Starting point is 00:04:08 we're going to put it out and I was like, who ended up doing the voice? Well, we were originally going to do that Dyke Jackie, right? But her voice is too deep. There was Geeks, there was Jackie,
Starting point is 00:04:16 there were some names. There were females that could do it and none of them were good enough. Passel's like, Jackie's wasn't really feminine. All right, well, yours was so feminine. I mean, the whole time I knew I could step up and get it done.
Starting point is 00:04:32 Because I don't want anybody to know this about me. How is this something you've done before? Like, you just know you can do a high voice? I just know that I can get my voice extremely high. Like, I can match, like, female singers' voices. That's fucking hilarious. You got Kelly Clarkson over here. She just fucking hitting the high notes and shit that that starting that clip where you just did jackie jackie plays a very good girlfriend and i think you've done two scenes now
Starting point is 00:04:57 and oh you do it gives you the worst ptsd'm going to open the door? Yes. I'm going to say, that is a girl who has done those conversations for real a lot. A lot. But she was like, 430, as we always discuss. I'm always there because it's bus duty. I was like, oh, shit, this bitch has done this a lot great skit though three million views on twitter um because out of order now drops a weekly a weekly skit to go along with their monthly full episode it's just a fucking it's a pleasure to watch this shit grow man it's awesome it's really really good it's it's borderline It's borderline offensive how much people are surprised.
Starting point is 00:05:48 I'm like, yo, I've been telling people. We've been doing this show forever. You think I'm just doing it with people who aren't funny? Oh, wow. And when these people really got together and tried hard, it's actually good, man. It's good. Yeah, no fucking kidding. I mean, of course, even i'm surprised by how funny it can
Starting point is 00:06:05 be sometimes but you know that one was pretty good that one was like we i don't know how long it took maybe an hour or two and like i walked out knowing i was like that's one of our best ones now that to me feels like light work like an hour to do this right no yeah okay like to me to me i would imagine other sketch shows and shit like i'm saying this without any information i don't know why i think this but i i would just guess like no but not many other people can rip that in like an hour it's it's one of those things both sides like you know they can do the digital the technical side you can you know what i mean yeah that the i i have no idea i also have no idea how long anything takes. But like it's an hour, but it's also been like thought about for two weeks at the same time.
Starting point is 00:06:48 Sure. That's true. But I also think this is where I do believe in that 10,000 hour shit where it's like not in a corny way where it's like I've mastered my craft after doing it. It's more like I could see you being like it's not gonna get any better than that like we did we did you know what i mean like we don't need to do another take because like it's just that was good and that's as good as it's gonna get and that's gonna be as natural as it is and if we keep doing it it's gonna be it's gonna get like you know we're good like don't overthink it i think that's what what being in this game one way or another, podcasting, videos, scripted, unscripted, whatever,
Starting point is 00:07:27 being in it this long, you just know how it works now. You know what I mean? It's a very fun spot where it's thought about for two weeks but not really thought about. You're not working on it. Still that morning that morning we're like where are we doing this yeah like yeah which is the best spot to be i think it's like your fifth thought for two weeks where it's like you wake up you're like okay brush your teeth don't say the n-word go to work and like somewhere back there is like how do we end that sketch you know what i love about it is like
Starting point is 00:08:06 there was a long for the longest time on my iphone notes app i just wrote down blog jokes blog analogies shit like that you know what i mean like completely completely, you know, the one I always use as an example was the diehard four gallons in a five gallon jug. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I just like wrote that down and I was like the next time you're writing a blog and you're talking about like really using your brain and trying to figure out something hard, say that's like the diehard, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And because blogging, there was so much of it and, you know, you're churning them out and there's so many opportunities to use that shit. And then when you stop blogging, the only place you could really do that otherwise would be like if you did stand up. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:08:54 Because like where – I can't like wedge that reference. You've got the sickest references, bro. Like if you're just doing a podcast, i guess you could but it would sound forced so there's no and i don't do stand-up so it's like where would i put those things these are where just those one-off thoughts either a premise or a joke or a punchline or a conclusion you now have a place for those to all live whereas like you know i don't have that outlet anymore it it and you can i mean that's where i should i think like the demar hanlon skit is a good example of like speaking of that real quick i was watching a movie last night called flora and son on apple tv for the first half of the game and i was still
Starting point is 00:09:40 like i checked twitter occasionally and i saw that that Damien Harris had the ambulance, blah, blah, blah. And I just got my DH names confused, and I was like, oh, that sketch isn't going to age well. I thought it was DeMar Amway again. I was like, oh, that's going to look bad. That was not going to look great. That's funny that you just told yourself. But at the same time I was like gonna go viral
Starting point is 00:10:08 user views baby by the way real quick that movie Florence on I don't even know you watch it too I was gonna watch it it's like
Starting point is 00:10:20 Sing Street if you gave all the characters in Sing Street extremely unlikable qualities. I don't even know. Is it a big deal? I don't know. It's a fairly new Apple TV movie that has 94% Rotten Tomatoes.
Starting point is 00:10:34 It's written by the same person who wrote Sing Street. It's got the same characters as Sing Street. A couple of them. Sing Street's unbelievable. Sing Street's an all-time great movie. I'm all but done with Rotten Tomatoes. I've been on that wave for a minute. i still use it as like a check to see if like this this silly like comedy that i think might be dumb is gonna get like a zero percent yeah i'll skip it but like other than that if i if you got 90 and above on rotten tomatoes your movie probably sucks to me it's
Starting point is 00:11:01 like i i think they're buying i think it's now pretty clear there's like bots or something like there there have been movie what did i watch recently the george foreman one it's like a 90 something i turned that off 20 minutes you think that it sucks you think that it's bots or you think that you could just straight up buy it oh actually it did come out recently you can buy it you just go to rotten tomatoes and be like here's 50 stacks like give me a fucking yeah there was a new story that was like you can people have been and it was one of those that was met with like no way i just but the same time i was kind of like oh that's not fucked up like i don't know i just thought it was a review site
Starting point is 00:11:35 yeah no i'm but but i'm not surprised that like i mean everything in this world is bastardized yeah you know i i you you just can't you can't consume anything anymore it's all fake it's all it's all manipulated yeah all everything everything there's nothing pure anymore it's crazy dude it's fucking crazy um anyway yeah the skit show is is is great and I I just hope there's more of it to come and I mean even like you look at Jackie I'm not surprised by you and Tommy
Starting point is 00:12:14 I guess sometimes I'm surprised by just how good it is but just being good at acting is not that surprising just because I know you guys and I see how you operate and it's like yeah that makes sense but I never thought of Jackie as being see how you operate and it's like yeah that makes sense but I never thought of Jackie as being able to do that and it's like and we probably wouldn't have ever figured that out
Starting point is 00:12:30 if we didn't have something like this you know I think what we're learning that talentless idiot Jackie no I had no reason to ever think that Jackie you know she's always like nervous to do something or like she's always like Nervous to do something
Starting point is 00:12:45 Or like You know she's always like I don't want to be on camera Or whatever like And then But then when she decides to do it It's like Fucking perfect
Starting point is 00:12:51 Are you more comfortable Doing that than you are Talking on the podcast It seems that way Yeah kind of I think so Yeah That's fucking crazy I don't mean like
Starting point is 00:13:00 Not at first After a few takes Then I will be But like not the first take I guess. Yeah, you're definitely more comfortable doing that. Point proven. Exhibit A.
Starting point is 00:13:14 Exhibit A. You guys are just sticks to me all the time. Yeah, I was going to say, I'm pretty sure it's because I'm just always roasting her. I'm not there on Out of Order. All right, so we are coming off of Surviving Barstool, which is going
Starting point is 00:13:32 to blow the internet away. It's going to destroy the internet. To say it lives up to the hype is a gross understatement i i genuinely did not think it was going to i thought it was gonna be a dud to be completely honest i thought it was gonna
Starting point is 00:13:51 yeah because it was so hyped yeah it's too much and i thought it'd be like all right like i don't know an interesting thing or two happened but largely largely i thought it was gonna be people who like cry babies fucking arguing and like you know yeah which it got to totally but like if you would have scripted this people would have been like no we're good we're good yeah that's gonna happen i i tweeted that i was like we are 100 gonna get catch some but you know what you're like you will see that the passion we would all be great actors if because you can't fake this sort of like actual engagement that we all had in it i think i'm i'm i'm i'm probably i'm definitely biased and i think i'm probably uh recency bias as well i think it'll be like the best thing
Starting point is 00:14:40 barstool ever put out and as far as like I shouldn't I don't want to put this much pressure on the edit team but I'm gonna I'm gonna do it as far as just like
Starting point is 00:14:53 single one-off viral videos you know the classics fucking great great stomp lady
Starting point is 00:15:00 and all those things like those will forever be the funniest things the you know the guidos going to Jersey Shore those Those will forever be the funniest things. The Guidos going to the Jersey Shore. Those things will forever be the funniest videos on the internet. As far as people who do the internet, like internet creators,
Starting point is 00:15:17 getting together and doing something, I think this will be one of the best things that's ever put out. Really? I just think if you're into Barstool, maybe within – I think even if you're a diehard Barstool fan, you know everybody. I think it's going to be the best content, most entertaining content we've ever put out. I think even in terms of the internet, like just as far as we've always been one very big piece of the internet. And then if all of those guys got together and did something, it's just like it was the pinnacle of everybody and everything. And it turned out so fucking ridiculous.
Starting point is 00:15:55 It's so crazy. I don't want to go. The more I talk about it, the more we'll get spoilery. But I think it has extreme potential. Extreme potential. Yeah. Congratulations to the advertisers who got in at $20 each. Oh, my God. Bro, I imagine.
Starting point is 00:16:10 Bro, I am sure it was not enough money. And they got their money's worth. Not only. They got money's worth of 100 people watching it. All we talked about was the advertising. I was going to say, not only because of just
Starting point is 00:16:27 how good the show turned out, but shout out. And I mean that organically, not like we were forced to. We ate the factor meals like every second I could get. I was like, can I get another factor meal?
Starting point is 00:16:39 And they were like, it's okay. You don't have to. I was like, no, I want it. I'm hungry. I need it. It was crazy.
Starting point is 00:16:45 So yeah, that'll be it's gonna be tough to uh for everybody to stay quiet uh winners and losers alike are all gonna want to say a lot of things and it's gonna be tough to have conversations with people that like you really want to talk about other shit and we can't probably for several weeks, right? Yeah, I think months. Months, is it? I think, I don't know. I thought it was supposed to lead into Black Friday.
Starting point is 00:17:10 No, it starts at the end. After Black Friday? And then I don't know if it's weekly or daily after that. I heard three days for three weeks. So three weeks of three per day? Yeah. No, no. One, yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:24 I'm sorry, three weeks of three per week. Yeah, that's what I heard. But I don't think I confirmed by anybody. So yeah, that would be mid-December. But at least once it gets started, I can like start to talk about that one little bit each time, you know? But yeah, it for sure lives up to that. I gotta pay my rent. Yo. It's the my rent. Yo.
Starting point is 00:17:47 It's the 16th, dog. Fuck. And you pay on the 1st. Supposed to. At this point, I heard mid-December. I was like, what is it right now?
Starting point is 00:17:59 Oh, it's mid-October. That's too late. You should just be like, you've now successfully shifted to a mid-month. Yeah. I's too late. You should just be like, you've now successfully shifted to a mid-month pay. Yeah, I think they've literally never mentioned it. You know what you should do? Not send it this month.
Starting point is 00:18:14 Just see what happens. No, they've mentioned it before when I forgot to send it. Yeah, they do usually catch you when they don't have it at all. I just want to remind you like five times. Yeah. But I don't know why you asked me. Jackie's not the best reminder girl out there. How about this?
Starting point is 00:18:30 This could be a more general discussion. Love is Blind came out recently. You know that show I love, right? That's the one where you can't see anybody. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they talk and they get engaged. And, you know, once again, five seasons now,
Starting point is 00:18:44 we 1,000% always prove that love is absolutely not blind. It's fucking 20-20 vision. Yeah, like for sure. That bald dude, see that foursome right there? That bald dude and that blonde girl were one of the couples. And this bitch went fucking nuclear when she found out his credit score. I shouldn't say nuclear because she wasn't screaming and yelling. But she went, she was like, what the fuck? Like, you're lying.
Starting point is 00:19:19 You've been lying to me and all this shit. And he was like, I didn't think it was that big of a deal. Like, I know it's not great but he was like I'm not in any sort of debt I paid it off and now you know I just gotta like
Starting point is 00:19:32 start building it back up but like and she was not happy what was the credit score they never said it's gotta be like 100
Starting point is 00:19:41 the way that this chick was acting like it has to be it has to be so bad that like – or I don't know. Maybe this bitch was just like I'm looking for a reason to get out of this. Excuse me. But I can't even – you couldn't get a credit card. So that I would imagine you know usually they like almost
Starting point is 00:20:05 want you to have some sort of sort of bad credit so they'll get some interest on it yeah like the sweet spot somewhere in the middle i can't even i would maybe it's a male female thing i don't know gender roles and shit you could have as fucking zero as a credit score i don't yeah i think that is definitely a a male female thing the uh the i i remember seeing a tweet once that was like it was from a woman who was like i was on a date once and um a guy asked me if I'd ever date a broke chick. And she's like, I said no because of some past traumas or fucking whatever nonsense. Wait, sorry. This is a guy talking about dating a broke chick?
Starting point is 00:20:53 A woman tweeting, I was on a date with a guy. And I asked him if he – Oh, okay. And he asked me if I'd ever date a broke guy. Guy. And I said no because of past traumas. Again, whatever the fuck that means. Yeah, it was traumatic dating a guy who couldn't buy me a bunch of shit.
Starting point is 00:21:11 And he said to me, he said, to me, you're a broke guy. And she was like, and that blew my mind. Where, like, she's like, yeah, he was right. I'm a broke guy. That's great. And I. Like, the way she was acting was like. Like, yeah, he was right. I'm a broke guy. That's great. Like the way she was acting was like – Like, yeah, I pay for everything. Like you're my broke boyfriend.
Starting point is 00:21:31 You just happen to be a girl. I've never even encountered any sort of gold digging shit really. But that – I almost wish I did just to be able to say that line. Yeah, yeah. You're my broke-ass boyfriend. You just happen to be a girlfriend. Oh, that one hits. That's boom.
Starting point is 00:21:49 That's a kill shot right there, dude. And she was like, that changed my world. Did it? Again, it's a nice example, but it's weird when just one of those things opens a world. Like, oh, yeah, I didn't think about it that way way i think it's such an easy way to think about it i've over the last you know however long i have i feel like i've i've done a decent job of like um not not falling into gender roles really like i don I don't know. I, I've tried to be more emotional and I've tried, I, I don't, I don't know. I've just been open-minded about this the whole way
Starting point is 00:22:29 the world is going. Um, except, except like for money and that, and that kind of stuff. Like I've never even considered a world where I would be like, all right. Like when I was like newly single, like, all right. Like, uh, first order, first order like you know here's my checklist like gotta be nice like pretty money you know what i mean like i have never in the courting stages in the dating stages in the love stages marriage stages any stage i've been like what do you do for work and their answer i'm just like okay cool like like i don't know your salary don't care can't be white trash though that's different you gotta have class that is true yes yeah you could be broke you can't be trash yeah there is a a a big difference between not having money or like I'm trying to figure out how to say this.
Starting point is 00:23:28 Like just acting – It's the difference between not having money and acting like – You can't have regularly drank Mountain Dew as a kid. No, as a kid – as an adult, it's a certain – Or as a kid. It doesn't matter. You think you – You had parents who regularly let you drink Mountain Dew?
Starting point is 00:23:44 We're not going to do that. You out. We are. We're not a match. If you could regularly drink soda as a kid, How about this? Oh, soda or just Mountain Dew? Probably soda.
Starting point is 00:23:55 Oh, wow. Mr. Fucking... I'll get more... Up in his ivory tower drinking Perrier or some shit. Fuck you. Just handing out life lessons to all the white trash sinners who are drinking Coca-Cola. If your main liquid you consumed as a child was soda, nah. I'm going the opposite.
Starting point is 00:24:14 I think that if you- It's class, baby. But if you grew up eating nothing but healthy snacks and weren't allowed soda, then I'm not- Yeah, I'm out on you. Yeah, that's fair, too. But I said main. If it was your-
Starting point is 00:24:24 Of course you would have soda. Bro, I- Maine if it was your you could of course you could bro I but if you had a two liter on the dinner table every night no no no John we would never work out bro
Starting point is 00:24:31 I would almost love like life swap not wife swap but life swap like go back in time and you like eat dinner at my parents place
Starting point is 00:24:42 and vice versa you know you know what is the ultimate trash the three liter i don't even know it came in three liters the the opening is like that big it's usually like great uh like orange soda and grape soda like i don't even know or like rc cola it's like the bootleg ones i don't even know if oh does coke do it i don't think i ever saw a coke three liter because you know i literally had no idea They came in 3 liters So remember like
Starting point is 00:25:07 You go to a store and get them in 3 liters I feel like more like Like a Sam's Club But remember 2 liters used to be like A fat dick you know Fat little blah And now even the 2 liters look like 20 ounce bottles just bigger
Starting point is 00:25:23 But this is back when the 2 liter was just a thick boy, chonky. And then there was just a three liter. It was like you had to hold it with two hands. You could not pour it with one hand. It was so big. And the top was was. Yeah. So even that doesn't do it justice because that one is like that's probably the better one.
Starting point is 00:25:40 Oh, my God. That's three liters. Yeah. Three liter. Yeah. And the top was so big because i think otherwise it'd be like too much glug going on because there's so much force coming behind it um but i would always see it at like a birthday party at a like at a venue you
Starting point is 00:25:57 know at a place yeah yeah i don't really recall ever having them at home look at that baby three liters uh give it to me uh i'm like i'm genuinely disgusted now i would i would say yeah crush i remember the red soda how many grams of sugar do you think how about that way go to the top one top left rc cola 99 cents i think that's a three liter for 99 cents uh bro 99 cents for three liters? That boy. That reminds me of the Carlo Rossi wine. The wine jugs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I remember going to the movies in Bay Plaza.
Starting point is 00:26:33 Shout out Bay Plaza. Bay Plaza AMC, I think it was. And I went with my broke friends. And his mom was smuggling in all of our snacks. And I was kind of like, all right, whatever. I don't know. My parents have a job, so this is not a problem. I think they were definitely hurting.
Starting point is 00:26:53 So I was like, okay, cool, whatever. But she wanted us to drink RC Cola. And I was like, I draw the line there. I was like, we'll bring in our own snacks. We'll eat your fake popcorn. I ain't drinking RC Cola at the theater. We're going. I don't know if I've ever had RC Cola. I have some self-respect.
Starting point is 00:27:12 It's just bad. It's just knockoff. I honestly know what it is, but I don't think I've ever had it before. Do you know what the RC stands for? Did you read it there? No. Royal Cola? Royal Crown.
Starting point is 00:27:25 Royal Crown. Royal Crown. Anyway, back to the Mountain Dew. I would say – I understand all the things you're saying, but it's a little bit too hoity-toity for me. I would say if you're a girl and you've ever drank Mountain Dew, you're out. I'm talking like once. Like if a girl, even as like a young child, was like, I want to try that Mountain Dew, you're out. Eight-year-old you was considering Mountain Dew?
Starting point is 00:27:57 If you were susceptible to X Games advertising. Yeah. Like legitimately, how many women, what do you think Mountain Dew's Gender market share is I think it's gotta be like 99.9 Yeah probably pretty similar to ours
Starting point is 00:28:11 No fuck that man We got a lot of chicks I meant Barstool as a whole Yeah I would say our audience Aside from the female Like you know Bree
Starting point is 00:28:22 And chicks in the office Take them out I would think our female audience Is like Aside from the female, like, you know, Brie and Chicks in the Office. Take them out. I would think our female audience is, like, the super, super, super vast majority of Barstool females. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I agree with that. The ratio percentage.
Starting point is 00:28:40 BFF doesn't quite count because Brie is on that, but that is mostly a guy show. Yeah. So that, maybe we don't. But, like, as far far as like the the regular shit i think kfc radio girls are probably like 80 of barstool girls the um i don't whatever this is gonna say i'm this is not true no because they're no there's no way they're gonna put out shit that says like one percent of women drink fucking mountain dew i don't think i cannot remember what i don't think – I cannot remember what – I don't know what Mountain Dew tastes like. I mean I could guess it's probably like a lemony, limey type of thing. But like if you gave me a taste test right now, blind –
Starting point is 00:29:13 I don't think it tastes like anything. It tastes like yellow. It tastes like Mountain Dew. It tastes like yellow number five. Yeah. If yellow number five was a flavor, is a flavor, it's Mountain Dew. They have hard seltzer? Yikes. Do you – was yellow number five was a thing for is a flavor. It's Mountain Dew. They have hard seltzer? Yikes.
Starting point is 00:29:27 Yellow number five was a thing for you in school? Killed sperm? Yeah. Is that a thing for you guys? So many Mountain Dews at basketball camp one week and then somebody at the end of the week told me that I would never be able to have kids. And then I never drank Mountain Dew ever again. That wasn't a weird thing for children.
Starting point is 00:29:44 I know. I'll never be able to have kids. That wasn't a weird thing for children. I know. I'll never have kids. You guys sperm? That was a stress. Now as an adult, I'm like, I should have drank more. I know. That would be a funny skit, by the way. Doing a guy who's like, you're at the fertility clinic and the results come back.
Starting point is 00:30:00 And you're all like this fucking fancy couple and you drank too much. I was bullshit the whole time. I don't remember being like, I won't be able to have kids. I just remember being like, well, I need my cum to be good. Can't have bad cum as a dude. Make sure your cum's awesome. Don't eat yellow Starbursts. Was yellow Starbursts one too? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:30:20 Basically, anything that has artificial yellow is yellow number five. That was probably the last time I ever looked at ingredients as a child. Yeah, for real. Probably. Did anybody ever make a yellow number five, mambo number five spoof? I bet you that song exists. I bet you some asshole made that. I'm still always so fascinated by old school urban legends
Starting point is 00:30:46 that everybody knows because it's just now knowing how the internet works and how things go viral through that I'm like if we were to take that away how would anything get viral but it did it did just through like straight up word
Starting point is 00:31:02 of mouth from like you know I went to high school over here but I went to basketball camp with these guys. And they told me that. And then, you know, and it must have been a slower process. The Marilyn Manson one, obviously, is the big one. I don't remember where I heard that one. I do remember where I heard Come Belly. I was at my cousin's house.
Starting point is 00:31:17 Wow, you know the exact. On Martha's Vineyard. Wow. We were listening to, he was a big rap fan. Who's the rapper? Slick Rick. We were listening to – he was a big rap fan. Who's the rapper? Slick Rick. We were listening to Slick Rick. He could do the whole song.
Starting point is 00:31:30 I'm surprised. What song? I don't know Slick Rick. I think probably one of his main songs. Show them some. It's a very cool song. I was like, so you like rap? And he's like, yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:44 I was like, what do you like about rap? He's like, Lil' Kim's got a cum belly. I was like, so you like rap? And he's like, yeah. I was like, what do you like about rap? He's like, Lil' Kim's got a cum belly. I was like, what? But I remember I was sitting in his bedroom on Martha's Vine listening to it or listening to that story. I could not tell you where Marilyn Manson came from. I don't know where any of them came from, but I did know every single one of them. I know we talked about them a lot on this show, but it's one of my favorite things that I'm just like...
Starting point is 00:32:13 It just had to be truly word-of-mouth storytelling, right? Summer camp. Summer camp. Because it had to be where you came somewhere, met somebody new, and then brought it back to your shit. then you know just crazy i also think that in a way though probably those things went more viral or like it happened faster because there were no stories like the minute you heard a new story about, this girl's belly was full of cum,
Starting point is 00:32:47 because you just don't have any other – you're not reading this Twitter story and watching that YouTube video. It was just like, we just watched SportsCenter highlights, and then you hear a story. And that's the story you tell everybody. And that's your day. Yeah. And also there's no, like, I proved it wrong. You couldn't prove anything wrong.
Starting point is 00:33:02 So you told the story over and over again. Yeah, you told the library to prove stuff wrong. Get a microfiche. Scroll through newspapers. Oh, Factor, baby. Factor. Factor is going to save my life. I'm very much enjoying watching you discover Factor.
Starting point is 00:33:21 I have discovered Factor. It was a big sponsor for surviving bar stool and i i did not i did not know that factor brings the fucking noise like they genuinely delicious like even like they do things i don't know how they do it like if you have leftover steak or cold steak in this case you know you have a steak dinner in the fridge and you microwave it, it usually cooks the steak too much. Not factor. Somehow you microwave their steak and it comes out like juicy and tender and the perfect color. And it's like I just microwave that for two minutes.
Starting point is 00:34:06 Usually a steak on two minutes is going to come out like a shoe. Same thing with salmon. I was always like, you know, I don't know, heating up fish like that. I don't know about that. Salmon is delicious. The party dip duo. Bro, this party dip duo, it's buffalo chicken dip and like a cream spinach dip. It's got, I think, two or three times the amount of protein to carbs.
Starting point is 00:34:34 Three to one. Three to one protein to carb ratio. And you just stuff in your face with buffalo dip and cream spinach. The breakfasts are even better. The breakfasts are like, you know, you got all sorts of different pancakes got honey orange they've got uh blueberry they got apple cinnamon they all have certain different types of butters and syrups um but man those dinners were keeping me going and it really is two minutes like the other ones i i can get down with but like even you know doing like a half hour of cooking and getting the pans out and cleaning the pans and all that stuff.
Starting point is 00:35:09 Even that, you know, can add up for me. This put them in the microwave. So poke a couple holes breakfast to the on top of the I mean, on top of the pancakes. But they have the they have like egg dishes. Oh, man. It is. Oh, man. It is delicious. It's genuinely really, really, really, really good.
Starting point is 00:35:30 And easy. And you can get all sorts of different types. You can get the keto. You can get veggie. You can do any sort of stuff with a wide array of menus on the menu. You can get something for everybody. So I am going to go full-blown Factor. I think my first delivery comes tomorrow.
Starting point is 00:35:57 You can get yours by going to factormeals.com slash KFC50 and use code KFC50 to get 50% off. That's code KFC50 at factormeals.com slash KFC50 to get 50% off. But so Mountain Dew, anyway. Bring it all the way back. Like, if I found a broke bitch who drank Mountain Dew... If you're a broke bitch, all good. You're a broke bitch who drinks Mountain Dew, then that's kind of your point,
Starting point is 00:36:20 is that you can be broke, you can't act broke. If you're broke, you better be a good actor. Yes. I'm going to say no every time you go for your wall but don't not go for it i also i would rather you be i would rather you be just straight up broke than like an annoying broke. Like if you're broke because you're like against the man and capitalism or some shit, I'm like, ugh. If you're broke because like, I don't know, you just couldn't get a good job and you're kind of lazy and you just want to like marry rich, I'm like, okay, that's fine.
Starting point is 00:36:56 I don't want to hear like – even if you're like chasing your dream, I'd rather a girl be like, I work in PR and they pay me $32,000 a year. And that's before taxes. No, I disagree. I'd rather a girl being like chasing her dream. And that's why she's broke for sure. But here's the thing with girls doing that.
Starting point is 00:37:15 It's like, you don't have, I don't know. I guess it's like, you can't just like make girls do only fans and shit. But it's like, you don't have to be broke. Like guys have to be,
Starting point is 00:37:23 they will. Kevin's so badly wants to be a pimp i'm just saying i've said this a million times you're all gonna look back on this era when it's just when she's like oh everyone like a guy if you're chasing your dream you can and you will be broke and a girl it's like i don't know i'd rather you just be broke i'd rather you not have aspirations i mean like what if she's a musician um what what dreams did you do you think they have you don't have to chase dreams just be a whore no I guess it's like like um I don't know you can you can have your dreams and be broke I just want to hear about it you know I I think you'd be i i'd rather
Starting point is 00:38:25 have someone chase their dreams because then they're at least in a good mood like if you because you're still broke but if you're like doing a job you don't like and you're broke yeah you're in a bad mood yeah i mean all of this shit if you're in a bad mood like i don't care you're rich poor whatever dreams shitty job if you're in a bad mood all the time, you know, see you later. But, like, where do you put money, Jackie, on your list? Or not even necessarily money, but, like, job. Does he have a good job? I, like, I mean, for the most part, I'm just, like,
Starting point is 00:39:01 I just care that you're nice to me. But I'm not, like, dating to marry right now. So, like, maybe. So maybe eventually. I dated a guy, or not dated. When you say you're not dating to marry, then why do you even date? I guess it depends on your definition of the word date, but I had this thought
Starting point is 00:39:18 the other day, because one of these motherfuckers on Love is Blind is 24, and he's also I think 100 feet tall he's huge his legs he's probably i think he's 610 in real life and i think his um his legs are like six feet his torso and head is like this big when he would sit like on a couch like this his knees would be like up to here or and we put them out like this like they would come like into your into your living room he's a freak dude he was actually the most level headed and like and normal guy too it was fucking like all these adults who were like absolute freak
Starting point is 00:39:56 shows and he was just like milton yeah he's got like a jerry curl that looks like a helmet that's not a good that's not a good representation that picture um he he it was actually really it was it was very it was cool this the girl he ended up marrying psychopath an absolute like like uh secret manipulative lying chick and that conversation go back one that that one in the middle right there he's talking to that guy that dude was chatting with him look at those legs he's folding them up like a chair uh he was like lydia is lying she so so love is blind nobody knows each other except these two did they like by chance allegedly by chance just ended up on the same show together so when he they had their their blind date and he's like he's talking and
Starting point is 00:40:51 she's like uche is that you uche is his name and he he eventually puts all the pieces of the puzzle together and he's like that girl used to go through my shit. She found out that I was applying to that show. She applied on it to it as well. She wanted this to happen. And I can't remember why, but there was like a decent amount of proof or at least like that, that could very well have happened. Um,
Starting point is 00:41:18 and that guy was like, he goes, dude, that's, that's the dimension you're living in with her. That's your dimension. I'm in my dimension over here. Her and the girl that she was fighting with, she's in that third dimension.
Starting point is 00:41:33 And he was not, like, denying it. He wasn't like, no, that's not my girl. Like, you're lying. He was just like, that's what happened with you. That's what happened with her. I'm doing my thing with her. That's what's's gonna happen with me i respect that it was awesome yeah and he's 24 that guy's like 34 and he just like he just
Starting point is 00:41:51 dapped it up and the guy was kind of like fuck he was just like okay i i respect you for that and i really did i was like that is some now you know granted this is probably gonna end up being the same but. But like – The dimensions always – but as of right now, as of like they just did the reunion show, they were not. It was like everyone seemed happy. So who knows? I'm not rooting against them. Probably logic would dictate that you eventually will – the crazy will come out on you too.
Starting point is 00:42:20 But it was so cool. And the way he did it, he's like an engineer. So he talked in these dimension terms and shit. It was like, oh, yeah, you crazy dude. But that's also, dude, when I was 24, I would say shit like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, that was different time. Alternate dimension.
Starting point is 00:42:34 We got it better. Different space time continuum, man. You learn. It's okay. Look how tall he is there, bro. I wouldn't want to rob a 24-year-old of that. Talking like an asshole? That glimmer of hope that things will be good.
Starting point is 00:42:50 That's good for you, man. Believe that. Hold on to that as long as you can. For real. Keep that innocence. When my best friend was 15 years old, he told his girlfriend's father, you don't know what love is. Oh, I think you've told me that. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:43:06 He was like, you're in like, I don't know exactly how he worded it like this, but he basically summed up like he was like, you're in a loveless marriage. Like, what would you know about love? Like, she and I are in real love. I would be like, good for you, kid. You're a fucking idiot, but good for you. I respect you for saying that. I think in that moment, I would probably rip, good for you, kid. You're a fucking idiot, but good for you. I respect you for saying that. I think in that moment I would probably rip his head off. I think I would break his fucking head off.
Starting point is 00:43:33 That's got to be hilarious. You got to walk in the house and be like, this fucking kid is wild. I think... wild i i think i can't even imagine getting involved in like shay's dating life she's a teenager now like my best friend is a fucking lunatic and i don't know what he was doing other than just being like his regular kind of like Eddie Haskell like asshole self. You know, he was just a very like, you know, he's like he had all the teachers and parents like eating out of his hand, you know. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:15 And I think this guy like saw through that, you know. But like unless like unless one of my kids was in like a dangerous situation. Right. I think I'd be like, I don't want to know any of this shit. It's so weird if I know the ins and outs of your relationship. It's obviously not the same as kids, but being the oldest sibling, people used to say that to me. They'd be like, your sister's dating somebody? Fuck do I care?
Starting point is 00:44:41 Is he beating her? Right, that's what I mean. I can't imagine ever being like, Shay, you have to dump him. It's like, none of this is real. None of it, I guess, but I don't know. I say that now, but like...
Starting point is 00:44:53 Or being like, don't you dare hurt her, guy. Yeah. You're a fucking loser. The fucking answer the door with a shotgun, take the prom pictures. If you hurt her,
Starting point is 00:45:02 I'm going to beat the shit out of you, kid. Like, what? You know what? I could see more see you guys you got your own shit to work out bro okay psycho i i could see uh i could be like do you want to hurt women why are you why is that your first why would i hurt her do you beat your wife you ever lay a hand on her? I could see myself being like, you know, you don't go out to your friends anymore. You're like, you're not practicing fucking dance anymore. That kind of shit. That would probably bother me more than like, are you having sex?
Starting point is 00:45:38 Are you partying? Are you drinking? Are you, you know, are you sleeping in school? It's like, are you just doing all, you just made your whole life his life? Yeah. That would bother me, but I'll probably stay out of all this shit. I don't know. Anyway, this is all to say, you know, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:45:57 Date broke, date broke bitches. Don't burn. I guess it's just, I can't. That's why I asked Jackie. Like I know a bunch of girls who are like they were looking for money, you know, and not like straight gold digging, but it was like, you know, the sixes, the six figures, six inches, six feet. Like that was a real ass thing, and I – Which fine thing but like don't i just don't get if
Starting point is 00:46:26 that's all you want to do and and i i know i'm sure we've joked about it a million times we're like oh i'll be a sugar baby blah blah i wouldn't want to be a sugar baby because i i'd have no purpose there's like i don't you want like that's why if it's your dream you're doing whatever you want to do like yeah i don't i don't care you make money, but you have to do something you like. Well, I guess, you know. Or something that makes you feel like you have a reason to be here. I wonder if, like, if your purpose is starting a family, being a mother. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:47:00 Like, I can't. I think I'm a pretty good dad, and I think I'm very involved. And a lot of it I really, really like. And the other half, I'm just smiling through it, but I got to do it. But that does not feel purposeful to me or unique to me. There's a million dads. And yeah, I guess pat on the back. I'm not one of the scumbags. But there's a fucking trillion dads out there that are really good dads.
Starting point is 00:47:25 And they're all handling their business and raising their kids. That's just what you're supposed to do. I don't think that that... Even if I was the best dad in the world... Best dad in the world is the worst dad. Yeah. I was going to say, how would you even measure
Starting point is 00:47:41 best dad in the world? I don't know, but I bet he sucks. Yeah, I could see that too. How do you think he sucks? I bet the best dad in the world sucks as a dad what what would you say like why flesh that out what is what is the the best dad like someone who's i i stereotypically i i would guess that like the guy who's very involved with school and the pta and coaches the teams and puts together these parties and is, like, very fun. You have to do all of that but at just a lesser level than what someone would do to be called the best dad. The best dad, yeah.
Starting point is 00:48:14 Be around. Dude, I always think about the Michael Scott quote. He's talking about kids where he's like, being a kid is easy. I honestly forget what he says, but he just ends it with, they're adults for Christ's sake. Like,
Starting point is 00:48:29 I, that, I, that is how you should raise kids. Just let them do what the fuck they want. That's your classic. Have we ever tried, right?
Starting point is 00:48:36 Have you ever tried just letting them raise themselves? That's obviously a joke, but like, I don't, I think the best parent, you should not be that involved in your kids life. Let's read this. Michael Scott, I don't get why parents are should not be that involved in your kid's life. Let's read this. Michael Scott.
Starting point is 00:48:46 I don't get why parents are always complaining about how tough it is to raise kids. You joke around with them. You give them pizza. You give them candy. You let them live their lives. They're adults, for God's sake. Bro, I don't remember the delivery of that. And I don't know if that was intended to be to be a little bit like layered and kind of deep,
Starting point is 00:49:06 but like that shit's fucking for real. Like how about this? My mom had on, on our fridge at home where she just had a, a magnet that just said when they were alive at five, my job's done. And it was like, we got to,
Starting point is 00:49:21 she got us to school, got us home. And then it was our own shit. Yeah. Kinda. That was that era though. school, got us home, and then it was our own shit. Yeah, kind of. That was that era, though. That was, you know, Tim Dillon has that book out that's like, it's just, I think, I don't know. I think it's entirely about, like, that era of parents just, like, mailing it in.
Starting point is 00:49:37 Bro, I don't think I ever had a bedtime. I had bedtime, but, like, I had to go to my room. It wasn't, like, lights were out. I don't think I ever got grounded. I had to go to my room. It wasn't like lights are out. I don't think I ever got grounded. I don't think I ever got. It was just like, I don't know. Do what the fuck you want, man. So me too.
Starting point is 00:49:53 This is our me too movement. We're raised by wolves. I don't know if we are the norm or not, though. I had like everything was like the rules were in place but you could break me if you wanted to yeah he was like be home by eight come on with 10 they be like all right yeah yeah like and the only times i ever got in like real trouble it truly was like just they never really yelled they would yell like you know like about little things it was a big thing it was never like yelling. Yeah. But it truly was like
Starting point is 00:50:25 I just know that I disappointed them. That was it. Oh, I didn't care about that. I've said that before. I didn't give a shit. There was something. I don't know why. Because I'd be like,
Starting point is 00:50:33 no, you're not. We're just really disappointed. No, you're not. You knew I was going to have a party. Yeah. You're not even surprised. Don't pretend you're disappointed. You know what it was actually?
Starting point is 00:50:43 I'll say this. I think the only time it affected me was when I was disappointed in me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then they were. But if it was something silly, like a party, I wouldn't have cared about it. I'd be like, no, this is what happens, you know? When I got caught egging houses, I was like, I was being a piece of shit. That is a shitty thing to do.
Starting point is 00:51:01 And I knew that. And when they reacted that way i was kind of like yep i think you're a fucking you're a loser dude that's a loser move i think maybe now i have one that came to mind but i think i just never disappointed my parents because there was one time where i i'm you know what you're saying yeah and i didn't do it i really didn't do it it was like there was a girl i grew up in a very portuguese town so the women were hairy portuguese and there was a girl who was particularly hairy and people would tease her and they'd make fun of her and they call her chewbacca
Starting point is 00:51:34 and i didn't and they were and she like walked into like the high school gymnasium once, and people were like, Chewie. Did they go like, uh-uh? And she said it was just me who did it. And she had a crush on me, I think. And I was the only person who didn't do it. This is a wacky story. She was trying to flirt like that i guess i don't know like and
Starting point is 00:52:06 that's a bad move i my parents were like what the hell is wrong with you i was like i didn't do it i thought it was mean i was the only person who fucking didn't do it and then i was like so i was being honest i guess it was so clear i was honest that they ended up believing me but that was the moment where i could see like a like genuine disappointment and uh that was the moment where I could see like a genuine disappointment. And that was – But had you done that? Had I done that? Would their disappointment have fucked with you? I probably would have, yeah.
Starting point is 00:52:29 Yeah, but again, it's more your own disappointment, I think. I – like anything else was – I don't know. It's like – my mom's mom always told her, don't punish yourself. So like grounding was just like, well, now that kid's around all the fucking time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anything that makes things worse for you. Take away video games. Well, then what are you going to do with them for the next fucking eight hours?
Starting point is 00:52:56 That sort of shit. So she always said, never punish yourself. And then I feel like that was put into place for me, and now I'm doing that with my kids. That one runs deep in the Clancy family. Don't punish yourself. But, you know, the only time I was ever grounded, I think, was that egg incident. And there was another drunk driving incident. I was not behind the wheel, but someone else was, and I was in the car.
Starting point is 00:53:21 Even, like, the times I got arrested, they were, like, they weren't disappointed. They were mad. They were mad. They were annoyed. They had to, like, fucking get a lawyer and shit. Yeah. It wasn't, like, again, they weren't, like, I guess they never tried to do the disappointing. They weren't, like, what the hell? We used to party at our son parties?
Starting point is 00:53:37 This is crazy. Yeah. I know. You can't be disappointed in that. I don't think I did anything. Oh, and there was one time I was hanging out with my buddy who was a year older than me on the basketball team, and he used to go to the city and party,
Starting point is 00:53:52 which in hindsight, I was like 15. He used to go into Manhattan and party. That's a lot. That's fucking a lot, and my parents wouldn't let me do it. So it was funny. There was two dudes named Mike. One was my best friend one was uh on the basketball team the older kid and um she my mom didn't like one and called him bad mike there was bad mike and good mike but she had it flipped in her fucking head she didn't know which was which. But anyway, we went to the – the story was that I'm going to your house.
Starting point is 00:54:27 I'm going to the movies. And then I'm going to sleep over at Mike's house. So I'll see you in the morning. And I don't know. That's got to be so annoying as a parent. I fucking know you're lying. Yeah, yeah. So I think – because my mom, she must –
Starting point is 00:54:43 I would very much rather if I was ever a parent. I'd be like, look, here's the deal. Don't think I'm an idiot. Don't fucking do this. Yes. Like don't – like if you're going to go – I don't know. I guess it's one of those things you can't really know until you're doing it. But I'd rather be like just tell me you're going to a party.
Starting point is 00:55:00 Maybe I can deal with the lie that you're not going to drink. But don't think I'm so fucking dumb that you believe – I believe you're going to a movie and then to this other friend's house. But then it doesn't pick up your stuff to go to your other friend's house. Yeah, that's exactly what it was. I'm not a dumb person. I just remember I had to call my mom, or I think she called me a few times, and I was like, she knows something's up. And we were in the apartment at an apartment party in the hallway of this apartment we're smoking uh cloves those black cigarettes loved them uh and
Starting point is 00:55:33 i i'm on the phone with her and my my voice must have been quivering or whatever my mom knows it and she goes um i'll just come pick you up at the movie theater don't worry because whatever story i was spinning it actually became complicated where it was like his mom and she was like i'll just come get you i think she knew what was up you know and i and i'm on the phone and i'm like i just i and my buddy's like just you know he's trying to talk me through it. Do this. And I go, ah, I've been lying to you all night, Mom. And he goes, no! He literally screamed, no! He goes, is that bad, Mike, in the background?
Starting point is 00:56:11 And she drove into the city. At this point, it's probably like 11 o'clock by the time she gets me. Drives from Westchester into Manhattan. I think I was up. I think I was in like East Harlem and she picks me up and we drove home in absolute silence and it was like,
Starting point is 00:56:31 I remember that vividly being like, this is like out of a movie where it's like, she was like, get in the car and then nothing the whole drive home. But in hindsight, I was just like, I don't know. I guess sneaking on and to manhattan is
Starting point is 00:56:45 a little bit crazy that's that's some bad shit but yeah that i don't know if we are the norm or or the exception like are we were other parents like because i had never heard of that until tim put out his book and then i saw a lot of people reacting being like oh yeah that generation did mail it in um i i never felt that way i was never like these parents aren't parenting yeah and get away with murder but it does i guess seem to be a thing that because it's certainly a thing just comparatively speaking to it's i mean it's not it's one of these where it's just like you know obviously everyone's different but the one the one i always remember that i've told here recently i think was when one of the parents who – because most of my friend's parents were very involved.
Starting point is 00:57:28 Involved? Yeah. And, like, my parents were there but, like, not – I don't know. They were, like – Official capacity sort of thing. Yeah. Like, they didn't like to coach and do all that shit. But, like, they were, like, very, like, helicopter-type parents, all my other friend's parents.
Starting point is 00:57:40 And when one of my friend's parents called my mom to tell her i was in the neighborhood riding bikes but i wasn't wearing my helmet and i was like oh good i didn't know where he was and he was like no no you don't get it no i'm calling he's like john henry's not wearing his helmet but yeah but he's there and he's like yeah okay all right see you later yeah it was a completely a person me reaching out to someone on a completely different level than them. I love that. I have eyes on your son and he's not wearing a helmet and elbow pads like, but you got
Starting point is 00:58:12 no idea where my son was. You got it. Yeah. Yeah. That is I cannot even fathom like Keegan being like, all right, I'm going out and like coming back six hours later, which is what like, you know, I hopped on the bike and would ride, you know, on the same street probably. But why like why don't parents just do that? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:58:32 But like you can you can. I don't think I could. I think I would be very, very nervous. And I don't know why that's been like. Beat into me by society or something, but like if I was was if i mean she's still a little bit young but no not really no she's in like second grade now when i was in second grade i would hop on the bike and ride down the street and like that was it i can't even fucking imagine that right now like if caitlin was ever like so like where're shay and i was like i don't know she's out but same thing like vice versa i'd be like you don't know where the kids are
Starting point is 00:59:10 she'd be like well you know they're probably at that this park but they could be at the other one they must get to that age though like like fourth grade well what are parents are you scared they're gonna get kidnapped yeah i don't know I don't know. I don't know. Yes, I guess. I'm not really scared that they're going to get kidnapped. I think I'm getting kidnapped all over the place. I don't think kids get kidnapped anymore. You have phones. It's tough.
Starting point is 00:59:39 Dude, there was so many kidnapped kids. I feel like it was all day, every day, kidnapped kids. Somebody knew somebody who got kidnapped. No doubt. There was always a cousin of a friend who got napped, bro. Kids are getting napped left and right.
Starting point is 00:59:58 But now they're not getting kidnapped and people are scared they're going to get kidnapped? I don't get it. Part of me is also I'd be afraid of getting in trouble. I'd be like, oh, she broke her leg on my watch. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it was my non-watch because I was just not fucking watching you. I don't know what the difference was. Maybe the news being so in your face, like there's less of it, but you see it.
Starting point is 01:00:24 I don't know. I do not know the answer but i could tell you that like if i if i lose track of my kids for like 60 seconds i start to get like wait where are they and then i oh okay you're over there but like there is always you're a helicopter parent i'm not i'm not like uh i'm what what exactly is a helicopter? I don't know. Yeah. Good segue. A term I learned one time. I, like, for instance, I'll go to a, we'll go to, like, overseeing every aspect.
Starting point is 01:00:57 No. Okay. I don't do that. But I will be, like, if we're at a park and they're playing with other kids, like, I got eyes on all the time. But I'll be, like, on the bench on the other side. Yeah. But I'm like, okay, you're still on the premises. You haven't been napped.
Starting point is 01:01:17 That's a great question, though, because I wish it could go back. And I think there's also – But you can go back. I don't think I could now because like I would get in trouble I think I don't think it's if anything were to ever happen or if like you know she went home to the nanny or to her mother or grandparents and were like
Starting point is 01:01:35 you know so I was at the park yesterday and like dad was home with Keegan I'd be in so much trouble you know what you got to do? You got to start being okay with being in trouble. Brother, you have no idea. It's like when you get bullied at school.
Starting point is 01:01:51 Bully's yelling at you. You're like, all right, man. I'm glad that makes you feel better. It's the final word, bro. It's so true. Like, I'm in trouble? Okay. That's so true, man.
Starting point is 01:02:05 There's nothing you can do. Okay, sure. trouble? Okay. That's so true, man. You can't. There's nothing you can do. Okay, sure. You're upset. That's okay. You're allowed to feel that emotion. I'll catch you later. Fuck yeah.
Starting point is 01:02:14 It's just so goddamn true. I mean, I also can't even, like, Shay will go to dance class on Thursday nights for four hours. She's in, like, three different classes, and they all are back-to-back-to-back for some reason. That's insane. Insane, first of all. I want to sue the dance studio. This is not loud.
Starting point is 01:02:34 If you want to do ballet and hip-hop, which are the two most popular things, you have to do them both on Thursday night. And if you're good and you do our recital, where it's a competition, you have to do practice for that. Oh, that's on Thursday night. Oh, and you want to just add a second dance and you also want to do tap dance. Like, guess what? Thursday night. Like, what do you
Starting point is 01:02:52 motherfuckers do the other six days a week? What is going on? How do you keep this business afloat? Seriously. But it's like they are like they are adults at this point. Like, what was the quote? Like they're adults for God's sake. Like their schedule is jam-packed.
Starting point is 01:03:11 If you do like one or two activities, everything has like twice a week this. You know, oh, we added that. Like there's a bonus. It's just crazy. They're fucking doing – they do more shit than probably like any adult um the uh speaking to parents the this weekend i went to a play with my mom and uh i think for the first time ever she was like how do people know you because she's caught you? Because she's been to a million barstool events and seen people in T-shirts and Patriots gear. Be like, Futterberg.
Starting point is 01:03:53 This is Broadway, though. We went to a Broadway show. Johnny Broadway was getting his. The guy at the box office just said, hey, John, I got your tickets right here. We went to Will Call and I was like, get my wallet out. I wish it was somebody other than your mom. I wish it was somebody like, you know, that's fucking than your mom I wish it was somebody That was kind of cool Did you need ID or anything?
Starting point is 01:04:09 It was just Hey Johnny Wow Even I was like Whoa That's on Broadway That is fucking good man That's up there
Starting point is 01:04:21 It's like what my dad feels When we're at Bruins games And people are asking To take pictures of me Yeah He loves that The guy at the Will Call At Broadway just recognized He was like that's up there. It's like what my dad feels when we're at Bruins games and people are asking to take pictures of me. Yeah. He loves that. The guy at the wheel called it Broadway
Starting point is 01:04:28 just recognized you. I was like, I get it. That was weird to me too. That's like getting the compliment from a black guy or a gay guy
Starting point is 01:04:37 or a gay guy or a gay guy or a gay guy or a gay guy or a gay guy or a gay guy or a gay guy or a gay guy
Starting point is 01:04:38 or a gay guy or a gay guy or a gay guy or a gay guy or a gay guy or a gay guy or a gay guy or a gay guy
Starting point is 01:04:38 or a gay guy or a gay guy or a gay guy or a gay guy or a gay guy or a gay guy or a gay guy or a gay guy
Starting point is 01:04:39 or a gay guy or a gay guy or a gay guy or a gay guy or a gay guy or a gay guy or a gay guy or a gay guy
Starting point is 01:04:39 or a gay guy or a gay guy or a gay guy or a gay guy or a gay guy or a gay guy or a gay guy or a gay guy
Starting point is 01:04:39 or a gay guy or a gay guy or a gay guy or a gay guy or a gay guy or a gay guy or a gay guy or a gay guy
Starting point is 01:04:40 or a gay guy or a gay guy or a gay guy or a gay guy or a gay guy or a gay guy or a gay guy Like, that's Feidelberg? We got a little bit of that when we were... Granted, Sonny is a little bit different. You know, we're not seeing fucking Phantom of the Opera or some shit where those people know us. There's a lot of overlap.
Starting point is 01:04:51 But, yeah, when you're at Radio City and people are like, hey, what's up? Yeah. Yeah, you know, you know, you know. The play was Gutenberg, by the way. It's awesome. It's really good. Gutenberg. Anywho, if you don't date somebody for their credit score, you're a fucking dickhead.
Starting point is 01:05:09 That's where this all comes back to for me on this godforsaken show. It's official. I've been on the search for the softest t-shirt for a long time. And it is official. I finally have found the one. I've done orders online. I've done, uh, orders on online. I bought them in stores. I find, uh, different colors, different shapes, different sizes, different everythings. And I finally found that Marine layer has the best t-shirt on the market right now.
Starting point is 01:05:40 It feels like it's an old shirt that, you know, is like your comfy shirt that you put on when you uh you know when you get home for the night but it also looks sharp and somehow you know you feel put together it's like magic man they've got sizes that fit everybody in between which is to me the most important thing in the world right now if they have a size marge that might be if you're stuck between a medium and a large. They've got in-between sizes so everybody who's skinny fat like me can find a home for their t-shirt. And as you get a little bit older and you can put on some pounds or you
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Starting point is 01:07:20 that's kfc15 for 15 off your entire order at MarineLayer.com. Saving your closet one tea at a time. Also, to kind of answer that question, one time in college, I dated somebody. It was like a situationship, but at USC, it's obviously hard to keep up. I think a situationship is a real thing. You're DeLulu. DeLulu. DeLulu.
Starting point is 01:07:45 DeLulu is the Salulu. Okay, but it's, but whatever, I don't know what else to call it, so I'll call it a situationship. But then like he, I think came from, this just changed my perspective of it
Starting point is 01:07:56 because he came from like less money, I think. And like at USC, again, like it's- Wait, wait, wait, less than you or just like he's like- Less than other guys you dated? Like other, like USC people people just like compared to usc it's like i'm gonna say this is college this is like family money right not like yeah yeah family money not like actual money but like
Starting point is 01:08:16 i was like i don't care like i i don't care about that at all but i think like for him he thought he assumed and like it's hard at usc to like keep up money wise and like you just kind of like it gets to you no matter what. But like he definitely would start to get self-conscious about it and then would kind of take it out on me and like make me feel bad about myself in some ways. Not like make me feel bad about myself, but like I could tell like would definitely like, um, I don't know. just so like as long as you're fucking nice about it and don't like have this weird chip on your shoulder yeah I don't care right in both ways you know if you're not if you're like a like a loud obnoxious rich person
Starting point is 01:09:00 yeah or if you're a insecure petty poor person like either one of those sucks you all everyone has their poor like i'm my poor is uh manual labor being handy i'm poor at that you know when it comes to that you know the things poor people are good at, I'm bad at those. But I always think that same way, where it's like, don't have to handle it badly and say shitty things like I just did. I'm just like, yeah, I don't know, I suck at it. What do you want me to do do i'm poor at that not meaning like my performance is poor i mean like i am bankrupt yeah of the ability that is fucking hilarious man i mean if you had your choice between a girl who was pretty and nice and rich, but like okay in bed, or pretty nice, poor, and a freak, what would you pick? Rich.
Starting point is 01:10:20 Really? Yeah. Really? I'm surprised by you just don't have sex anymore no it's just like the sex is like everyone's fine at sex i i don't know i i think everyone's it's you know similar like pizza kind of thing yeah it like person a lot but, I really like a good slice of pizza, bro. I really like a good slice of pizza. But I'm not going to drive out of my way for a good slice of pizza.
Starting point is 01:10:50 I used to get furious coming home from Newport when Lou would stop at New Haven to get fucking Frank Pepe's. Like, they got pizza in New York. Let's just get home. Are we talking about pizza or are we doing an analogy? Because you also had friends that would go out of their way for the other pizza, too. Yeah, that would annoy me, too. Like, they got pizza over there, too too yeah that that's a whole other thing i think that whole new haven new haven thing is very very uh overrated i think what would you rather i'd rather just have good like sexual, sexual chemistry rather than, like...
Starting point is 01:11:26 Okay, well, let's put it that way then. So, like, you're either... You are... Like, if someone's like, oh, a freak, I'm like, it's like being a parent is a little too involved. Sure, okay. Take a step back. So then let me describe it as this then. Nice, pretty, rich, unfulfilled in bed, nice, pretty, rich, or nice, pretty, nice pretty broke super fulfilled whatever that version is for
Starting point is 01:11:45 you freak not freak whatever i guess i don't know i don't think i've ever been unfulfilled i don't know what that's like with sex i get like but i got that's not i'm not like a fucking porn star i'm not like i don't know is that what porn stars do i i think uh i think that would eat eat at you more than you think uh yeah i guess it's one i guess i can't relate to i know that sounds like braggy but it's not like i don't know i i think it's just it's like food it's pretty easy to satisfy me yeah i'm like well yeah but if you you know you fell into one of those ruts where it's like it's been you know it's been fucking two months it's been fucking two months. It's been six months.
Starting point is 01:12:27 I don't think I've ever dated somebody and not had sex every day. Yeah. That's a rarity, I think, for a serious relationship. I don't know. I'm just too irresistible. I wonder why. You can't see a fucking drunk walrus and not want to fuck it. I would say that fits my personality and body type.
Starting point is 01:12:58 Drunk walrus. That is so fucking funny, man. Like, ooh, I drunk walrus. I got to fuck that thing. Dude, I hope, I pray to our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, that there has been a time. I mean, that's me. With a mustache and everything. That's me right now.
Starting point is 01:13:22 That is you. That is you. Can you open up that whole tweet and see what right now. That is you. That is you. Can you open up that whole tweet and see what it says? That is you, dude. That is fucking you. If you're not watching on YouTube, there's a picture of a walrus podcasting. And it's because he's at drunk walrus is the name. That is.
Starting point is 01:13:42 34 followers gave up on the dream in what 2019 to go and become a twitter personality is that what it is only 34 I'm so stunned when these things yeah he stopped tweeting in August 21
Starting point is 01:13:53 man this could have been but he did start in 2010 so for like 10 11 years 10 years someone was fucking paying his bills
Starting point is 01:14:01 while he chased his dream how about this imagine paying his bills while he chased his dream. How about this? Imagine if that was a woman. If you told me that whoever was behind at Drunk Walrus was a lady, my head would explode on that one, dude.
Starting point is 01:14:21 I mean, yeah, she's been tweeting since 2010. But it looks like that's only like like 50 total tweets right more dedicated she did like five tweets a year basically she missed all of those are my favorite twitter users 13 well like they come back there's no good tweets but every fucking three months they're like hang, hang on, I got one. Yeah. That's so bizarre. That's got to be like a mental illness thing. Fucking. Are you doing the reflection? Yeah. What a weirdo.
Starting point is 01:14:57 That's funny. That's funny. You did it. It's funny. I knew it. Crazy. What about you, Jackie? What?
Starting point is 01:15:09 Drunk. Drunk. Drunk, poor, rich. Nice, attractive, and rich. Or nice, attractive, and satisfied. Because I think the thing is for a lot of girls, satisfaction is money, too. That is like a big box that gets checked.
Starting point is 01:15:31 Yeah. But it's like... I'm planning on getting rich. Hell yeah. Let's go, girl. By yourself or by her? My favorite position, CEO. I'm going to use that.
Starting point is 01:15:44 Don't, don use that Don't Don't Don't That is very funny No I mean you're free to use it It's just There's a reason I know it It's a little overly basic
Starting point is 01:15:57 Yeah What? Like it's a I didn't just make that up Like it's a It's a A thing People say a lot I never heard it either though So there's enough people like that's like it's like i didn't just make that up like that's a it's a a thing people say
Starting point is 01:16:06 a lot i never heard either though so there's enough people who haven't heard yet um i i just to wrap all this up like i've heard i've heard it framed as like i i'm attracted to, like, how well you do your job sort of thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like that. Which makes sense. I mean, like. Totally get that. That is a pretty rare circumstance where, like, you, where, like, they know. Like, if you were dating me and you see me on stage, I can understand that there's a level of attraction to that.
Starting point is 01:16:42 If you're dating a guy who's, like, you know, working on that sales commission, and it's like – I mean, actually, maybe sales is some wheeling and dealing. But, like, if you're just, like, I don't know, doing some back-end operations at, like, a finance house, it's like that attracts you because, like, you're doing well at that. I don't know. I feel like you just like that. You can have a whole bunch of shit. But I think passion and purpose is attractive. Sure.
Starting point is 01:17:07 So if you like what you're doing, I think that's attractive. I just wonder, I mean, how often... It's a very small list of people who are making the money and they're happy at what they're doing and all that. Yeah, for sure. So my general point being, and it's fine, whatever, I get it.
Starting point is 01:17:23 You only get one life. Live it how you want to live it. But really, you're just like, I want to be able to have shit. I want to have a marriage where we can go on vacations or I can get a fucking G-Wagon and the ring's going to be big enough. And it's like, just own it. Just own it. Just say it. Rather than the gymnastics of it's attractive when you're passionate
Starting point is 01:17:43 and this and that. I genuinely feel that. No don't even know what I do. I genuinely feel that. I get – no, I get that too. I don't – maybe everyone doesn't. But I like – whatever you – if you're into whatever you do, then I'm – if you're fake into it, then I think it's lame. But if you're like genuinely into – it could be anything. Then I'm like that's cool.
Starting point is 01:18:01 Yes, I agree with that. I'm just saying that 99% of the time i feel like people like i don't even know what they do your partner yeah it's like i think they're in marketing and they're like no i'm in like security it's like not even fucking close so i don't know how how much that translates like and a lot of these things are are inherently kind of boring like your passion for it might not be but you start to tell me the ins and outs of like this fucking random thing you do it's like well that's not interesting yeah i don't care but i can understand being attracted to the the passion i just think that it's also attracted to like the fucking bag you bought me or the trip we went on or yeah whatever i think
Starting point is 01:18:39 i'd be more attracted to a person who's like excited to wake up than someone who's excited to do something with what they got that day for doing something they hate yeah yeah yeah that makes sense that makes sense how many girls out there do you think are like sugar mama like in the sense of uh not in the sense like if you pay the mortgage or something like that, like you pay the, pay the rent. But in terms of like show up, like, honey, I bought you this fucking like leather jacket.
Starting point is 01:19:12 You know what I mean? Like for girls, it's like jewelry and bags and high heels and stuff. And guys, it's like, I'm sure you could pick out things that I like that are tangible for the most part. I don't know.
Starting point is 01:19:22 You know, like what percentage of people I'm just saying, do you think that that's a thing of like girls who make the money and like shower you with gifts the way that like guys will do it you know uh i think it's a thing it's a rarity but like i don't know i mean i'm sure it's a thing. I've never met someone like that. Yeah, I've never even heard of that where it's like, you know, there are plenty of girls where their girlfriends probably know, like, yeah, like, oh, my God, he bought her. Like, the nicest this, the nicest that.
Starting point is 01:19:54 I've never heard that in my life. Oh, man, Stacy got him, like, a new pair of kicks. Like, never even, never once, right? Have you ever heard that? Like, isn't that crazy? And my point being like i don't want that never thought of that never looked for that you know yeah but i guess if someone just started coming home i never looked for unicorns either
Starting point is 01:20:13 well played sir that's obviously very rare and i think when it's done it's usually the woman is much older like probably like five six not much but like i would say there's a big age gap yeah yeah as you're describing all this i was just thinking of the bluths so yeah maybe it doesn't happen yeah it's and also i feel like some dudes like feel emasculated by that so they gotta go through that shit too where it's like oh i could buy it myself whatever if i couldn't buy it myself and someone could you can buy me some shit buy me some shit attention all partiers and ragers the drink, the perfect drink has been created for you
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Starting point is 01:22:07 I've got a case. I almost have a case as like a go bag. Like I just have them at the ready. It's like the party button. Yeah, like ready to go. Yep, here it is. So get yours. Make sure you're stacked up.
Starting point is 01:22:20 Drinkpiratewater.com or order on GoPuff, and follow and tag at Pirate water in your post for a chance to be reposted to win merch to win product uh and any sort of sweepstakes that we do at pirate water kfc fights everybody else um it's a beautifully crappy fall saturday i'm getting ready to bust out some of my favorite sweatshirts and i got a few memories today because i went to washington versus oregon a couple years ago and i had the tan quilted viva hoodie best hoodie i've ever owned wore it all the time and a few years back i let my friend has a borrowed sweatshirt pulled out like a crappy old sweatshirt that I didn't give a shit about.
Starting point is 01:23:06 Gave it to him. Well, I went outside. He came back outside wearing that tan quilted hoodie. And I was like, fuck. I was like, I shouldn't even like go the fuck back inside and change. But I was just like, ah, man, that's not the one I gave you. Just make sure I get that back. Well, like less than a week later, we all stopped talking to dude i forget exactly what he did but did something fucked up till we all stopped talking to him
Starting point is 01:23:30 so that hoodie's gone forever um never to be seen again r.i.p it's literally my favorite hoodie i've ever owned um so my question is what's one piece of clothing that was taken for you whether like some girl took it in the morning or like somebody borrowed it and never gave it back? What's that one piece of clothing that like you just wish so bad you could get back? All right, thanks. I think the bizarre thing here is I've never heard of guys deading a guy. When he's like a week later, we all stop talking to him.
Starting point is 01:24:08 I've had friends I've fallen out of touch with, but that's a slow process. I've never had a guy, women almost exclusively, guys where I'm just like, I'm done with them. I don't think I've ever had that ever. No, I've never heard of such a thing. Where you're like, that dude did something bad. He's dead to me. And we're done.
Starting point is 01:24:29 I guess guys just have a longer leash with me. I'm like, yeah. I mean, you got to do some truly dark, fucked up shit to me for me to write you off. You know? As a guy? Yeah. As a girl, you just have to see me naked and be a little weird later just made a weird face that's it i i i can't think of like anybody who i ever ever stopped talking to and really never talked to again.
Starting point is 01:25:08 Yeah. I guess it happens fairly quickly where I'll stop talking to somebody. But it's not for any reason. It's just like, I don't see you, so I don't think about you. And then within a month, you're out of my life. And it will be great when I see you again, but I don't think to you and then within a month you're out of my life. And it will be great when I see you again but I don't think to keep up with you. I barely keep up with
Starting point is 01:25:31 people in general. I'm not keeping up with ones I don't really like anymore. What's the question? The question's about clothes, right? Clothes, yeah. I don't think I've ever had this happen. I've never fallen victim to the stereotype of the girl stole my hoodie or anything like that.
Starting point is 01:25:54 I'm sure many women have stolen many things from me. I just got so many clothes I don't even notice, dude. Yeah, but even your most comfortable one you don't notice i couldn't tell you my most comfortable hoodie is yeah because you're such a freak it's like my most my favorite my most my most comfortable outfit is my like slacks and my you know button-up shirt freak i i mean like all all not all hoodies are created equal that's not true i actually learned the hard way this weekend. But the – Yeah, like not even close.
Starting point is 01:26:27 A hoodie, like I don't know. I've never been like to somebody, you got to try this on. It's so comfortable. There's – About anything? No. That's like exclusively what I wear. Like you got to try this on.
Starting point is 01:26:42 It's so comfortable. The – I'm sure it's like – I don't You've got to try this on. It's so comfortable. I'm sure. I don't know. I'm comfortable right now. You're just not, though. I'm exceptionally comfortable right now.
Starting point is 01:26:57 No, you're not. He's not. He could be more. I disagree. Well, I'm sure I could be more but i'm perfectly comfortable yeah but that's more uh on account of your general apathy in life towards things not not like there's nothing comfortable about that you're just you don't find discomfort in like a pair of pants and a sweater no i don't that's that's it's more that it's not but i i But I also, I think I'm of the unique side of things here where I appreciate people stealing things from me.
Starting point is 01:27:32 Because I'm like, I'm trying to spread the good word. Like, here's a nice shirt. Why don't you try wearing that around, you fucking idiot? Like, I'm, when someone. when someone doesn't try you moron someone steals something from me i'm like good i have a lot of other nice things yeah how about you try wearing some nice things like i like like i i have i mean i i used to do to my brother all the time like i've stolen clothes but the like i i get a sense of pride when I see someone wearing something they've stolen from me. I'm like, yeah, I knew it.
Starting point is 01:28:07 That is fucking nice, isn't it? You've never lost a hoodie? I'm sure I've lost hoodies, but nothing that I – I have hoodies I like, but I don't have a favorite hoodie. I don't have anything – I don't have a lot of things that i'd notice if they were gone i i gotta this is the latest sherpa that i got it's very very very very nice very comfy i feel like uh any of that stuff i i just have so much of it though you know what i mean like
Starting point is 01:28:42 any of the really comfortable stuff i've made so so I have, like, a thousand of them. So it's, like, you know? Yeah. I don't have any, like, one-of-one type shit. Right. So, it's fine. I'm trying to think. There's got to be something.
Starting point is 01:28:56 I also, I also. Sneakers are a little bit different. I've had some people, like, no, It's just like I mean One time Somebody like Stepped on my shoe Or
Starting point is 01:29:08 Somebody spilled a drink on it And was like I don't know Whatever The I It's hard for me It's hard for me to get excited
Starting point is 01:29:15 Like get Ramped up about that They're clothes They're supposed to be warm Yeah Oh don't Like The don't grease your Jordans
Starting point is 01:29:20 I think is like The lamest thing in the world Yeah If you buy Those things to put in your shoe or you walk so that you don't bend your foot. It's insane. You better be in, like, seventh grade. For real.
Starting point is 01:29:37 Seventh grade. I also, I was referring to guys earlier when I was talking about, like, I love when someone steals my stuff. But, like, I also like when girls steal my clothes. Like, I think that's cool. I think that's hot. I'm like, yeah. I get that. Look at you swimming in that sweatshirt. It's so cute.
Starting point is 01:30:00 Can I also say something real quick? Sure. I was thinking, you know how you guys give me shit for looking like shit to work every day? But, like, guys' attire is so much comfier than girls' attire. And, like, if I want to wear a cute top, like... Dress like a dude. Have you ever tried wearing a strapless bra when you have tits? Like, it is so uncomfortable.
Starting point is 01:30:19 Every single day. I've been constantly wearing strapless bras. Okay, yeah, if, if like style for me was, I mean, and also like, I just also dress like shit like at work, but like.
Starting point is 01:30:30 First of all, you're making it a little harsher than it is. We tease you for wearing meat sweatshirts. I know, I know. We're not like, we're not going to walk
Starting point is 01:30:36 like Jackie, you're dressed like shit today. Well, I don't know, but I mean, the meat sweatshirts is, it's gotten out of hand. Like I actually have to like reel it back in.
Starting point is 01:30:44 Oh, we got to get you, dude. The meat of hand. Like, I actually have to, like, reel it back in. Oh, we got to get you, dude. The meatball guy. There was dinner last week where someone, like, the best balls in New Jersey. And some guy brought a bunch of T-shirts. And it's just a fucking Italian meat shop. It says best balls in New Jersey on the back. No way. I would so wear that.
Starting point is 01:31:09 Okay. So then, but you guys do, like kevin really is the one who gives me shit for i feel like and he you don't have much to stand on what what do i say i mean jackie always looks like shit i can hear you saying that yeah so i just want to say like yeah again like if girls like fashion was like you know baggy clothes all the time then maybe i'd come like something to work kind of is now yeah you're living in it you're living in a good time well okay good point currently right now yeah but if it was the Victorian era, how would I come to work fancy? Yeah, like, you could, yes, you could wear, like, baggy jeans and a sweatshirt and have it be stylish. But that's what I mean. And you still dress like shit.
Starting point is 01:31:56 No, but I do wear, like, baggy jeans and a sweatshirt. I mean, I guess, like, I just choose, like, neat sweatshirts. I rose you because you just always wear all black, like, stage crew. I know. I would say you dress rather fashionable. It's just the meat sweatshirts. I rose you because you just always wear all black like stage group. I know I would, I would say you dress rather fashionable. It's just the meat sweatshirt. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:32:10 Yeah. Yeah. I'm also like, I'm always wearing self Tanner or on my period. I think I'm always wearing self Tanner or on my period. Jackie's like, I got two modes. Tan or bloody.
Starting point is 01:32:23 There are fluids constantly coming off of me. Sorry. Who's that girl in the meat shirt with fluids coming out of her? That's fucking hilarious. I think the meat shirts is now like a thing. Yeah. I'm almost jealous. I wish I had something like that.
Starting point is 01:32:51 You're like Zuckerberg and fucking the hoodie. I haven't capitalized on it. I haven't made it cool. I'm kind of at the point right before where it's like, why does she always wear meat sweatshirts? Yeah, yeah. You need to go a little bit harder with it. Because right now it just feels like
Starting point is 01:33:08 you have no clothes except meat stuff where it's like just by chance. I think if you own a deli, if you own a deli, if you own a restaurant, if you are, I don't even know who else deals, who traffics in meat.
Starting point is 01:33:24 But anybody who does that, you got to send a butcher. I was in Soho this weekend, and I walked by an old school butcher shop. And I almost went in to get myself a t-shirt, and I didn't do that. But I should have gotten Jackie one too. Next time, I'm at that random butcher shop. I think it was on Elizabeth Street. We've got the meats. I lost my favorite sweatshirt in college.
Starting point is 01:33:49 A girl came over, and it was a sick USC Trojan sweatshirt that my dad gave to me. And it was, like, vintage. Like, you definitely can't, like, find another one. And then a girl came over. She asked if she could wear it. I was like, I'm probably going to be hanging out with her a lot. I was never so hard again.
Starting point is 01:34:04 Every time I'm home, my dad's just like, where's the USC sweatshirt? Just like an ongoing bit for years, like, where's the USC sweatshirt? Exactly where it is. I would take that as a badge of honor. I've never in my life have I been like,
Starting point is 01:34:21 I need to get that article of clothing back from that woman. I don't think so. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm like, I need to get that article of clothing back from that woman. I don't think so. No? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm like – I was trying to think of a hoodie. I was trying to think of a jacket. I was trying to think of a – nothing. I think also like this could like stem like from high school too like where like everything was communal.
Starting point is 01:34:41 Like we just wore everyone's clothes. Yeah. It wasn't... It was like... I've never been... Like I said, I like spreading the good word. Where does this trope come from? I mean, I guess it is a thing.
Starting point is 01:34:54 Like, girls do steal guys' hoodies, right? But we just don't... I don't even think... Jackie can answer this. I don't think of it as like... I don't think maybe they go out to steal them and collect them. I think it's more like... Wasn't there a girl...
Starting point is 01:35:08 You borrowed my sweatshirt. You went home. And we just forgot about it. Was there a voicemail that the girl was collecting them? Or a viral video? She had a fucking closet full of them or something like that? It rings a bell. It's like when you steal a girl's panties.
Starting point is 01:35:24 Don't ever say panties again. I'm kidding. I don't do that. It's in Revenge of the Nerds. The panty raid. God, that word sucks. I say panties all the time. Do you really?
Starting point is 01:35:38 Oh, yeah. Like in a series? You got a pair of sex on the panties? I mostly use it when I'm trying to turn people off. Yeah. Mission accomplished. Next up. I've been ruminating for the last week or so since fights got back from Rome.
Starting point is 01:36:03 Because my husband and I are going to Italy in a week. We live in 10 days. I'm geeked. I'm excited. Never been more excited, actually. I've been waiting for this trip for five years. Now, when I say I was ecstatic to hear Fights' gelato talk. Okay? Ecstatic. Because that is me. That is me, 100%. Me in Italy. Pizza, one minute. Next, gelato.
Starting point is 01:36:33 Shove it down my fucking gullet. So I go home to tell my husband said sorry about your gelato experience. And this motherfucker, you know what he tells me? He's not like, oh, I'm also so excited for gelato, but he hits me with, yeah, you remind me a lot of fights. I'm sorry. The fuck did you just say to me? is so mean to me he said and I quote I remind him of Feidelberg in every facet now one would normally say
Starting point is 01:37:16 this is probably a compliment and fights I love you buddy I see the fucking parallels I hear him every minute of every day. I hear them, I'm like, man, that man is so mentally ill. Like, who else shows that many mangos down their face? I do. But I can't stop thinking about it.
Starting point is 01:37:42 Help. That's the only way that could have ended. I only get comparisons to women. You've never seen a guy in my house like, that reminds me of fights. Always chicks. It's exclusively women who like to eat too much that was
Starting point is 01:38:08 that was one of the most low key mean things I've ever that was like a minute and 52 of just like just chopping this dude down just from the other sentence this is just someone telling me hey Feidelberg in every fac, you remind me of a woman.
Starting point is 01:38:31 She also, she didn't hit you with anything good. She said, Feidelberg, I love you, but, and then there was no good, there was no, like, you know, I love you, you do this and that. It was just like, yeah, I love you, but you suck. Yeah, dude, I like how people ask, like. They give me help and ask for the cure. If I didn't know what it was, I wouldn't have fucking taken it forever ago. Yeah. I'd be a fucking Kelsey Pfizer guy. Yeah, this is how it affects me and me.
Starting point is 01:38:59 I do think it's weird to say that to your girlfriend. Like, if I ever had the realization that I was dating a girl like fights, I'd probably stop dating that girl. No, you know what? Actually, I say that, but, like, that's the – no. That's what I'm gunning for. Now that I think about it, you have a lot of great female qualities. It's like you want – you know, you want to date someone who's your best friend you know and it's just that i'll i'll have sex with you you know what i mean like that's the difference there's i want to have sex with you i get it
Starting point is 01:39:39 um the uh on the mango front they don't sell these on amazon on the mango front. They don't sell these on Amazon. On the mango front. But I. On the mango front, the new segment. Oli Asia. I've been on the quest to find the best mangoes. O-L-L-E.
Starting point is 01:39:59 New word, Asia. I just bumped into him at a store the other day. I'm going back today to buy them out. Red bag, best mangoes I've ever had. They were, because mangoes, I don't know if you know this, but they're like beef jerky. Sometimes it's just like this is too tough to eat and all that stuff. You've got to find the fucking right mango.
Starting point is 01:40:23 I've only had one bag, so if you get a bad bag, maybe it happens. I'm going to go back to them and buy all the bags and figure it out. How many are you going to buy? Five servings. I don't know how many there are, but...
Starting point is 01:40:36 This motherfucker's talking about his... You're legitimately talking about your serving sizes of mangoes? Well, I just looked at the back. It's a bag, so it's one. But on the back, it was one of five servings. There are five whatever. You know what I mean.
Starting point is 01:40:55 But the, yeah, Ali Asia. They make a mango. What does a mango look like? What does a mango look like? What does a mango look like? I don't know In college, I had a buddy Wait, can we do a test? I know what they look like
Starting point is 01:41:13 I don't think I do Can you quiz me and put together some fruits? I don't think I would know what a mango looks like You're good I feel like a mango is Orange Yellow mango is orange, yellow. Yellow is orange. And maybe the size of a grapefruit.
Starting point is 01:41:33 Does it have a skin, though? Yes. Like an orange skin? Like you peel a mango? Yes. You do, and then you just eat it? Yep. When I was in college, a kid ate a mango.
Starting point is 01:41:47 That's about what you expected it to look like, right? So that is like an apple skin? I would guess so. I actually don't really know that. You can't eat the skin. You can't? Oh, you can't. Because it's like unedible skin.
Starting point is 01:42:08 Is it? Yeah, you can't. No, yeah. it's like unedible skin is it yeah you can't no yeah okay i don't know i only eat dried they peel it for me um a lot of times they're like green and red how do they make it look like that that's cool i would guess there's slice like slicing is that how people serve it yeah and in college we had a kid who he ate it, and it was like that, and he kind of ate it like this. And it turned out later that he was allergic to mangoes, and he had just this rash all here, and it looked like he was eating some rotten pussy. Rotten pussy. It was fucking vile. It was for days.
Starting point is 01:42:45 It was disgusting. Next up. One day, I'd like a man to call and be like, I'm a lot like Feidelberg. Just to really put a pin in that or put a bow on that. Hey, guys. I have a fun fact.
Starting point is 01:43:04 Did you know that on the back of semi-truck trailers there's these two bars that protrude down and cut across as a sort of a reinforcement to prevent cars if they rear-end a semi-truck they don't go up under and cut people's heads off. Those are called Mansfield bars. They're named after famous playboy and sex symbol Jane Mansfield, who died that way. Another tidbit of that fun fact, less fun. In the back seat were her two sleeping children who survived with minor injuries,
Starting point is 01:43:45 one of which, Law & Order's Mariska Hargitay. Fun facts. Those are exceptionally fun facts. I like that quite a bit. Yeah. Mariska Hargitay, her mother was a Playboy actress? Playgirl? I guess so.
Starting point is 01:44:06 Mansfield bars. That's it. I mean, there's nothing to say about that. That's the show. That's the show. សូវាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប� Thank you. you

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