KFC Radio - We're Becoming NWHL Superfans Out of Spite

Episode Date: January 28, 2021

Subscribe, Rate, and Leave a review! -We're sick of being wallflowers and missing out so we jump into the stock game -Surviving Barstool is going to be the best thing we've ever created as a company -Feits updates us on how being sober for a week has been -Erika Nardini is being attacked online because she *checks notes* likes and supports the NWHL and wants to help grow the game. -Feits has a deep Philosophical question -AITA Thursday -Voicemails Let us know what you think on twitter: @KFCRadio @KFCBarstool @Feitsbarstool Subscribe to the KFC Radio Youtube Channel for the full podcast: www.youtube.com/c/kfcradio Subscribe to the KFC Radio Clips Youtube Channel for the best clips: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCspldj_2KhBix7eVxe2H8xgYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. You can't like my sport. You indie fucking dickheads. I'm gonna like your sport so fucking hard. I'm gonna fucking love your sport. I'm gonna watch every fucking game. I'm gonna have my fucking wedding

at a fucking W.H.L. hockey game. And the sun can't stop us now. What's it going to be thinking of you? It's another edition of KFC Radio on the Barstool Sports Network. Another edition of No Guest January as we're wrapping up the month here. So let's let it fly, baby. I've got a lot today. Yeah? I have one question coming up later in the show

that is going to really fuck your day up both you and the listener it's going to fuck you up that's a promise is this like when would you rather be inside your mom or your dad nope worse way worse mental and emotional torture coming okay

everyone in this room is going to let out a oh well that's usually what this show does Oh, you're going to fucking hate it. Everyone in this room is going to let out a, oh. Well, that's usually what this show does. That's a stern promise. If you're not upset about this question, feel free to, I don't know, ask for your money back. Will this be called, like, going forward, will this be called, like, the question? Will people be like, you know, the question episode? No, because it's not like a Q question.

It's not a hypothetical. It's like a philosophical. I like that. And it sucks. Okay. All right. Well, we'll build up to that. Of course, we got.

I'm already taking my shirt off. Not my whole shirt. Take your fucking pants off while you're at it, babe. Of course, we got our voicemails coming up. It's Thursday. So we got Am I the asshole as well? And the question, it sounds like. First, there's so much to get to.

We got GameStop burning the world down. We got Eric and Ardini burning the world down. And what I've realized is as I watch all this happen, and I do the podcast on it, I one minute man on and everything you ever feel like you're just uh like watching life observing life and like you're not a part of it doing this job here yeah i'll get philosophical on your bitch ass too like i i i mean i don't even think it's part of the job i think it's what we who we are it's just my personality yeah like a wallflower yes i stand in the corner and i silently judge right that's stupid well i don't like all right so first of all what's very funny is that people are like tagging me for other people being like

kfc will tell you about gamestop I don't fucking know what I'm talking about. I just looked up words on investopedia.com. Like, I have a very basic idea. Honestly, even knowing what investopedia is makes you knowledgeable in my eyes. Okay, maybe. You might as well have just said you have your master's degree.

Oh, I haven't heard of that. What's funny is I do have my master's degree. Everything about that, John, I have a master's in finance. If there is ever an argument to be made for, like, don't waste your money on an MBA, like, you're looking at it. I remember when I have a master's in finance and I directly went to the Dow. When when when I was a twin towers? Bitch, it was Fordham. It was Kevin Clancy walking around Deloitte

stuffing papers in random people's desks. Wasn't that the best move ever? For the people who don't know that story, when I used to work at Deloitte as an accountant and I knew I was going to switch over full-time to Barstool, rather than just quit, I wanted to get severance and I wanted to keep my insurance benefits going on Cobra cobra you get like 18 months of benefits after you get fired

so i was like i gotta get fired and so i had to dig my heels in and just and just wait it out but at the same time i'm also like not gonna work hard you know so uh and then it was like my last day you're fired you want to achieve your goal that's true i was working hard at getting fired and when it was time for me to like leave the way we worked i i i would hope by now they've like caught up with the time so we had like manila folders with like hundreds of pieces of paper as like the file if you will the document that's like boom here's the work it's all done good bit to the client and i just took these folders and i just hid them we had these big giant uh like filing cabinet drawers and i would just stuff them in there and close them and but i so i cleaned out all mine they

were like have you done all your work and i was like yep open up like five drawers like look i'm done and they were like okay like have a nice life you're fired and then and then it was almost like in um in home alone at the end when the dad is yelling from the plaza like kevin you ordered 992 dollars of room service i feel like i walked out of is yelling from the plaza like kevin you ordered 992 dollars of room service i feel like i walked out of there and they were like okay like kevin's like finished and like you'll be taking on his work and they open up these drawers and like what the fuck is this it's like six months of work just crammed into these drawers you asshole they're still trying to catch up on it i'm literally like they might be knowing how that place operated like some

of the shit that we did there was 10-year-old problems. Anyway, so people are tagging me, acting like I know what I'm talking about in GameStop, but because I am, I do this one-minute man, and I'm probably a little bit... We're all behind the curve from the real investors and shit, but I might be a little bit ahead of the curve and i just don't do anything about it you know i kind of even felt this way with bitcoin and that and that's what actually made me like buy it back when like lou and all them were talking

about it i was like i should do this you know like i look at guys like lou and people who like got in on it like they're probably like millionaires and they were in the same place as me with the same opportunities and i just don't do it and then i hear like everyone was like game stop is like it's kind of too late although it's not it's like 350 yeah i think i learned i was 140 it was all the way down to four at one point dollars four dollars like but 140 i was like i'm too late right and it's like nope it doubled you know and then But okay, let's even say we're late on GameStop. People were like, AMC is next. Like, do it.

And I just didn't. And then now people are like, Nokia is next. Do it. What are they just doing? All the old shit? Basically, that's what it is. This is fucking Taylor Swift. I come back not stronger than a 90s trend.

Yes. They're all things. So it's like uh you know gamestop is like a brick and mortar game selling and buying and trading thing amc's brick and mortar movie theaters which we know are kind of fucked and nokia i don't know maybe not nokia i don't know but i think these are all things that people were betting on going down because they're old and obsolete and these dickheads on the internet are like, we're going to make it go up instead. But I just don't do anything about it. And I do genuinely believe that, like you said.

I think that's an inherent personality trait, where it's like, are you the type to jump in, or are you the type to sit back and judge? I'm the type to think I'm late and then go, that's stupid, I didn't even want to be in it. I'm the type to judge you and say it's not even cool or funny or I don't even want to make millions of dollars, dude. Who wants to make millions of dollars

on the stock market in a day? Not me. It is, I will say this, it is part of the fault of fandom where it is like, it immediately becomes a turn off when someone's just more passionate about something than you like the

it's probably like once a month now it happens where people on the internet go crazy about Bitcoin or GameStop or right MC right and it just it becomes insufferable it is and then it does it just turns up you're like fuck that I don't even want to know because like you have just like random people

all over Barstool now just tweeting like money sign like they're like fuck that i don't even want to know this is because like you have just like random people all over barcelona just tweeting like money sign like they're like davy day trader and it's like you don't make this fun you make this annoying yes yes and it is and that's that's mostly me to blame right because if i just wanted to have fun with people i would do it and have fun i'm sure when i i just don't have a person. I have a dickhead personality, and I wish I didn't, but it is just. I did it with Dogecoin, and I had so much fun. And I remember thinking, like, you know, that's their thing. They're having fun with it. I'm late.

I don't want to ruin it. Yeah, I'm not going to bash it. I'm just like, not verbally. I will silently. Right, right. I remember thinking, like, it's too late. Don't ruin their fun. You don't want to be the guy who's like, oh, me too, me too.

I'm going to get in. But I was like, ah, fuck it. That one particularly felt very funny to me. And the real kicker here was you had to spend $2. Do you know what I mean? So I did it, and I had so much fun, and it didn't really work. That's the thing. I guess what happened is there's two times that I did it.

It was Bitcoin, and I bought it at the literal peak at that time. And I guess now you can say that I made some money on it. But I didn't get the rush. I also don't even know how to find my Bitcoin. You know what? It's not as hard as you think. Really? If you go to Coinbase, you'll just figure it out.

Just put in your usual password. Wow. We'll see. Therein lies the issue. Well, I could probably guess your password. Probably. Yeah. I could log into your Coinbase right now.

I'm going to go steal all your money. But I did it twice and like it didn't really work. And so maybe that's why I'm turned off on it. But it's like, I mean, the Snapchat John was telling me like his friend did it and made like an ungodly amount of money. And we see people on the Internet. I see like dumb followers of mine that I kind of know through the Internet. We're like, I just made like hundreds of thousands of dollars. So I'm like, why don't I do things? Why don't I do things?

Why didn't I invest in Penn? Why didn't I take my balls and fucking take my money and do it? Why didn't I invest in AMC? Why don't I, I mean, I guess right now it's taking the form of investing and making money, but it's all things. Like, why don't I do stuff? Why don't we just sit here? That's a larger question.

Why don't we just sit here and just fucking talk a couple times a week and that's it? Why don't we just sit here that's a larger question yeah why don't we just sit here and just fucking talk a couple times a week and that's it why don't we do more why don't we get rich it's a pandemic that's my blanket answer for like why there's a a comic does a bit about that have you seen that he's like uh i saw someone doing a tiktok like voiceover of it so i don't know who it is but he was like my my answer is everything like you and it started out like you still hug and kiss in a pandemic like you still put clothes on in a panorama and he just says all these different like pan words but it's just like i don't do anything anymore

and it's the ultimate fallback i've actually most recently committed to like it's pandemic life well because like there was a while where i was going out and i was doing they were committed to staying normal and now i just i just sit at home and watch marvel movies that's all i get home i get home i mean that'll that'll take you like months by the way uh that's what i thought to start yeah yeah like three left started last week 20 20 25 movies? 23. And they're all, you know, two and a half, three hours long, so let's just round up and call it 75 hours. Last night I watched Spider-Man Homecoming, which is, I believe, the

17th? Something like that? Jesus Christ, John. So you do do things, it's just watch Marvel movies. Yeah, yeah. I'm gonna buy Disney stock. Do you ever feel what I'm feeling, though? Or do you just not care? That we are life's wallflowers

Oh no I feel it I just accept it I totally get what you're saying I'm like well I fucking knew about that half a o'clock ago I should have done it I don't know how to I guess I could get Robinhood or whatever fucking app we're currently promoting.

So I have an Ameritrade account, and I somehow, someway saved that login information. I bought Google, like, 20 years ago. Literally, like, 20 years ago. That's pretty good. Like, five shares. It's a nice little chunk of change. It's not like I'm going to retire on it. But I somehow still had my ameritrade

login right and then i must have changed the password somewhere along the way to like my updated password you know but today yes so then today i'm doing like the forgot your password and it says what is your uh paternal grandfather's name and i looked at that word a thousand times and i just answered with the maternal. And then it's like you lost. You only get one shot? Yeah. Which I guess is good because it's like we're talking about money and shit.

But I was like, what if I just misspelled it or whatever? Or what if I'm an idiot and I thought maternal was paternal? So I don't have a second shot. And then I went to Robin Hood, and I do believe that because we are sponsored with them that I think they set up accounts for us. I don't know the password to that. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

No, I have the app. I don't know how to get that. Yeah, oh yeah, no, I have the app. Don't know how to get in. And then it said, enter your password. And it just said, whoops. No, it said, enter your phone number. And I entered my phone number and it just said, whoops, something went wrong. What kind of fucking error message is that? You gotta tell me what went wrong.

It just said, whoops, an error has occurred. Whoops, something went wrong. I was like, well, so now I don't know how I even I can't even buy stock. I mean, that's my other thing, too. I give you I give this world and this effort. I give this world and this life a solid two times effort. I will try something and I will try it again. And if I fail both times, then I'm like, well, I mean, I'm not a miracle.

I'm not a magician here. I can't try something three times. Two is a lot more than I give it. A lot, right? I guess I'm sick of being. You did? Yeah. Okay, buy me some Nokia.

Is it Nokia or Nokia? Wait, okay, hang on. Your watch list just got better? What does that mean? Dismiss that. Okay, how do I buy something? All right, we're going to buy stock right now. Let's go.

Let's fucking do this. No longer wallflowers. Nope, I put Namia. Nokia. Bang. Buy. Buy in dollars. Yeah.

Buy in dollars. How many dollars do we want to buy this? I don't even know what account this is connected to. I have no idea where this money is going to come from. How much is Nokia's price to say? Six bucks. Six and change. It is $668.

Does it say whether it's up or down today? It is way down. Oh, fuck. From $11.45. At $11.45, it was $881. At 1145, it was 881. See? And now it's 1231 and it's 668. Now, this is also what happens in this world.

How much are we buying? Well, I don't know. We should buy it now. It's down a bunch. It's down. You buy one. It's low, Kevin. Buy the dip.

Buy the dip, they say. We're going to lose so much money because this is the other thing. All right, we'll buy 500 bucks. Sure. Sure. 500 bucks. We're going to lose so much money because this is the other thing. All right, we'll buy 500 bucks. Sure, sure. 500 bucks. We're going to get rich. Why no gift?

Because they just say that's the next one. I am just hitting buttons that say confirm and I agree. I don't know what this is saying. I don't know how to buy. Enter. Nope, nope. 500. This is what I mean, John.

John, not enough buying power? What does that mean? You have to mean, John. John. Not enough buying power? What does that mean? Okay. I'll deposit $500. Do you ever get tired of being dumb? I mean, I'm just pissing away at $500 right now. No, we're going to get rich. We're getting rich.

I'm just so sick of being an idiot. I'm so sick of watching other idiots, other people that I know. I'm going to sell them. This is a problem, too. I'm so sick of watching other idiots, other people that I know. I'm going to sell them. I'm going to get, this is a problem too. I'm just going to get addicted to this. Yep. Continue. Please make sure you maintain a balance of $500. Okay.

Invest instantly. Done. I want to invest instantly. $500. Buy it. Review. Swipe up to submit. Order received. Guess who got $500 in Nokia stock? What? Bitch! Yeah! Let's go. This is the thing. Okay, and this is actually kind of- 74 shares.

This is kind of the bigger picture here of what's going on with GameStop, right? So these fucking- These guys, these regular ass dudes just decided, fuck Wall Street, fuck the hedge fund bros. They are, you know, a couple individuals who have a lot of money. We are- Many individuals have a a lot of money we are many individuals have a little bit of money we're gonna band together and we can just make our own rules or knock them down and and and kind of like guess who's up 20 cents let's go baby we're already

riding this thing to the moon but these are normal people who are taking like the internet and being like we don't have to like You know what's happening right now? This is kind of like the mail time life. People are just realizing that Wall Street people aren't that smart. Dave kind of did it. These guys are kind of doing it. It's like, they don't really know what they're doing either. None of this makes sense.

We've talked about this ad nauseum. No one in the world knows what they're doing. If you're a doctor, you don't know what you're doing. If you're a lawyer, you don't know what you're doing. Clearly, if you're a hedge fund guy, you don't know what you're doing. No one knows. These fucking guys just got a whole hedge fund john melvin capital would have gone under if steve cohen didn't give them three billion dollars

he can see bill today it was him and another guy gave him yesterday three billion dollars and i'm pretty sure they just ran right through that already but they they officially had to get out of game stop they like wave the white flag they're no longer shorting it but it was like it took down a whole hedge fund so yeah people keep being like steve cohen gave him three billion dollars it was it was like maybe i guess one and a half because he partnered So, yeah, people keep being like, Steve Cohen gave you three billion dollars. It was it was like maybe, I guess, one and a half because he partnered up with another guy. But it was like his protege ran this other hedge fund and he was like heavy, heavy, heavy shorting GameStop stop. And he's like, well, I'm going to go under. And he was like, OK, well, I keep you afloat.

So like people keep being like this can never last. And, you know, the the the Wall Street bros, the Reddit guys are going to end up holding the bag. It's like the wall street already ended up holding the bag. Like one of them went under, they had to get a $3 billion loan to stay afloat. So like they already kind of won in some regards. I get, people are saying like, you can't, you can't do this forever because you know, like these individuals can buy it when it was $4.

It's harder to buy now when it's 350 so there is a point where like the average everyday joe can't keep up anymore but the larger picture of like the internet allows regular people to do non-regular things things that we once considered like only wall street can do that or only only because it wasn't at one point like in order to trade you had to have 25 grand in your bank right right and that's where like these robin hood and to trade, you had to have 25 grand in your bank account or something like that. And that's where these Robin Hood and these things you don't have to carry about, all that stuff. Again, the bigger picture,

regular dudes are like, I can invest like Wall Street can invest. It's like you can't put out videos and stuff unless you're a movie star. It's like, no, now you just have a fucking phone on the internet. And I guess in that regard, that's where we do do things. It's funny listening to all the podcasts I do listen to. A lot of them have been saying the same thing recently that fans or family members are like, when are you going to get a TV show?

Like Tom and Bert, people were like, you know, you should get a show on like ESPN. And they were like, why the fuck would you do that? And Tim Dillon was saying his family members like, you should get a show on ESPN, and they were like, why the fuck would we do that? And Tim Dillon was saying his family member was like, you should get a show on the Travel Channel. And he's like, what era are you living in? You know what I mean? Because we just like, those people broke the mold and do it on themselves. So I guess in that regard, we do do some things. But the rest,

we don't do anything. What are you talking about? We're fucking Nokia investors. That's right. We're up 20 cents, motherfucker. That's right, motherfucker. Nope, down 20. Fuck! That's the other thing, is 20 cents, motherfucker. That's right, motherfucker. Nope, down 20. Fuck! That's the other thing is you know the mush is coming, you know? I'll tell you what you should do.

You want to be a doer? You want to stop being a fucking wallflower and go buy some flowers. Go to the books right now. Stop what you're doing and go buy flowers for your girl or your mom or your aunt or your sister or your brother or your father or your boyfriend. Men can get flowers, too. It's 2021. Flowers are the best. I buy flowers right now. Remember that?

I do have books sitting on my kitchen table. Remember like five years ago when everybody sent you flowers? Yeah. Back at the old office? Yeah, that's right. I forgot about that. Send John flowers. Yeah, I'll take all the flowers you got.

I think flowers are fucking beautiful. I think flowers are fucking sexy and smell nice. And I haven't said the smell now. We'll get into that. And it is. Proud of you? It is. Let's take a 20-second pause for station identification.

And by that, I mean go buy flowers. Literally. Do they do that in New York? Yeah. The pause for station identification? Yeah. So weird. So weird.

I always listen to Red Sox games. I'm like, what the fuck is this? But I say it all the time. I hear it as baseball games. I'm sure it's elsewhere but I only just hear pause for 10 seconds for a station identification

and it's like well the WBZZ you know what I mean and I just cut back to it pause for 10 seconds for you to go buy flowers literally I'm gonna give it like a

like a NBA ref like 1 2 3 4 5 6

I recommend roses 8 9, nine, ten. You should have gotten your flowers by now. That's that easy. Whether it's for your girlfriend, or your quarantine boo, or your wife, or just someone you want on your favorite podcast. If you have a quarantine boo at this point,

you're pretty much married. Yeah, that's true. I mean, you've been dating for a year. You know, if you started this shit at the beginning, imagine that, like, I'll just fuck this girl because of quarantine. You'll see a grandma for the first time she's going to ask if you popped been dating for a year. You know, if you started this shit at the beginning, imagine that. Like, I'll just fuck this girl. You'll see a great one for the first time. She's going to ask if you pop the question.

Yeah. You've been dating for a whole trip around the sun. Why the fuck aren't you married yet? Valentine's Day is right around the corner. So just do it right now. It's one of those things you know you're going to have to do. And you know what you motherfuckers are going to do. You're going to do it on February 12th.

And they're going to be like, you know what? It's going to be tough to get it delivered exactly what time you want to get it done. So do it right now. You can book your delivery. You can pick whatever flowers you want, and you will get it sent right to your loved one. Books is going to make the day special. Books is going to let her post the picture on the Instagram

and show off to her girlfriends. Jackie, how much do you care about getting flowers versus being able to show girls that you got flowers? Do you care about the flowers yourself, or do you care a lot? It's like, look at this motherfucker. My boyfriend's better than yours. The other day, I bought flowers for a friend. I don't think anybody's ever bought me flowers.

So I walked. Send flowers to Jackie. No, don't send flowers to Jackie. But I walked home with this bouquet of flowers, and everybody was looking at me like, oh my God. Right? Right? And then I forgot that I don't have a boyfriend, so I was like, yeah.

I forgot I don't have a boyfriend. And I literally felt so happy walking. And it took me like 10 minutes. This one woman looked at me, and she was like, oh my God. Because it was around Valentine's Day, and she was like, that's so cute. And I was like, I know. You were walking down the street really in movie mode. My boyfriend got like, oh wait, no,

I don't have one. I got lost in the fantasy for a second. I've heard of, do you know of anybody who's done this? Like diabolical chicks who will buy themselves flowers and post it as if a guy's sending it just to feel better, just to get clout, just to be like, I'm not going to letra know that i don't have like someone giving me

flowers this week how big are fucking regular people's social media circles that people would know that they don't have a significant other like i think if i wasn't here public yeah my i would have 20 followers because like i would like be locked and i'd be like i just want to show this it's probably why i should create a fence so i could just like post pictures like i actually want to just have fun with my friends yeah um and instead i'm trapped in this cage of fucking popularity i can't share my real life with anybody what a what a little like riddle that is it's like i share my fake life with hundreds of thousands of people in my real life with nobody nobody i'm stuck in

this cage of popularity honestly that i might need to be on a t-shirt cage of popularity that's poetic right there yeah man but people will go to extreme lengths so whether you're buying flowers for yourself buying them for your loved ones you can get it all from books that's b-o-U-Q-S. Get it like bouquets? Boox.com slash KFC. And then use code KFC for 25% off. You can also get gift bundles, and you can pair it with, like, chocolates and jewelry and candles and shit. So all the stuff that people like on Valentine's Day. Go to Boox.com slash KFC. Use code KFC for 25% off.

You could be walking down the street strutting like Jackie. Like, that's right. Yeah, I got five hours, motherfucker. So, yeah, we're going to do things. That's my resolution. Do. Do. And not just like podcasts. You know, I do enough of that.

Really, I just want to make money. That's it. Just fucking let me invest in one of these things. Podcast is a pretty good way to do it. True. True. You right. You right. I think we've got to do this question. It's weighing on me. Are you ready for the question? You got something else before the question? I don't know. Oh, let me quickly just say this. I've probably been working more than ever this week

because we've been doing Surviving Barstool twice a day, every day. And I don't think I'm exaggerating when I say I think it's going to be the best product that we've ever put out of barstool. Maybe like, you know, if you love Dave and the old school barstool and big cat stuff, like maybe that's like what you love. But as far as like putting out a video, a series, a product, you know, usually when we try to do these things, you lose a little bit of the l of the luster it's like okay they're doing this for like a company and it's a polished production so you lose a little bit of the barstool like quality this is like it's a full-scale production and it's gonna be fucking awesome i have been present for one challenge and have heard tale of one vote off. Uh-huh. Is that what they're called?

Yep. Yeah. And I cannot wait to see this stuff. I got to watch a rough cut of episode one. How many episodes is it going to be? Is it nightly? I think so. So it'll be Super Bowl week leading up to, I think, Friday night is the final night.

And then we will be doing it. Thursday night. Thursday night? Okay. And then we will be doing Thursday night. Okay. And then we will have the KFC radio like after show. So for our monthly live show in lieu of like our regular, we did it,

you know, the Christmas show and the Ruth Conda shit last month for January, we will be doing the after show. I believe it'll technically be February. Right. Right. It'll be like February. I was going to say, we didn't do a live show last month. Like this. So January. I believe it'll technically be February. Right, right. It'll be, like, February 4th or 3rd.

We didn't do a live show last month. Like, this is January. This was supposed to be in January, and they kind of hijacked it, but it seems like it's going well. So this is, we'll get the after show where we'll have the winner and, like, the second place loser, as well as, like, everybody else back on because there are going to be friendships and uh co-worker relationships completely decimated by the show completely like survivor you come in as strangers and you never see each other again these guys came in knowing each other and they work next to each other afterwards and it's going to be and they're making each other, and then they worked next to each other afterwards, and it's going to be catastrophic. And they're making each other cry.

There are tears. There's anger. There's fights. There's backstabbing. There's embarrassment. I mean, it's going to be fireworks. So just buckle up for that. Mark it on your calendar for Thursday of Super Bowl week. We'll do the KFC Radio After Show.

But, yeah, I am so happy I am hosting and not involved in it because I don't know what the fuck I would do if I had to do it. I asked to be in it, and they were like, no, you can't be in it. Yeah, you're lucky, dude. You count your lucky stars because it's awkward. I'm very excited I'm not in it. Yeah, $10,000 on the line. So these people are taking it seriously, and they're like, you know.

It's funny to watch. There is, like, something sociological about it. When you do this reality TV type shit, you put people the real world style. You put them together in a room. What happens when people start getting real? Like, they're all getting shit-faced. They're all doing dumb shit. They're all talking shit.

They're all pairing off and clicking up. And, like, it is wild. Yo, human nature is wild. It's crazy. Like, we are, at the end of the day, we're still like off and clicking up. And, like, it is wild. Yo, human nature is wild. It's crazy. Like, we are, at the end of the day, we're still like animals, you know? It's like we just do what we do. Do you think people watching the show are going to see that? That is the tough part of this, because, like, on the show Survivor, people think people are assholes, but they're also like, it's the game.

Yeah. Do you think people are going to be, like, actually upset with people who are backstabbing and things like that? Probably. Yeah. I think it depends on who it is. I think female versus male is going to count. I think veteran versus rookie is going to count. I think how the edit.

We're going to see. I know those motherfuckers are scheming up there. This person is going to be the villain, and this guy's gonna be the... I bet how you own it, too, be like, yeah, I was the fucking dickhead. Guess who has $10,000? I think there's gonna be a lot of people who, like, will play the victim correctly, and get the sympathy card. I hope that there's people who

play the, like, the aggressor, and just be like, I don't give a fuck. And then there's gonna be people in the middle who flounder. Like, you can't do that. You can't just be like, well, I didn't know what to do. It's like, we hate you. So, Surviving Barstool is coming. Shout out to New Amsterdam for making that happen. And I can tell you,

it's going to be... This will... Guaranteed, this will be an annual series. There will be Survivor. This will be the first of probably like 15 seasons in a row of this, of Surviving Barstool. And probably the money's going to go up

if you win this one. It sucks. I know. It's going to be like Rough and Rowdy, where, you know, like... Isn'ty fighting for like a hundred thousand dollars and you fought or you could have fought like five or something i think hank fought for five billy's fighting for a hundred i mean that is not fair so uh you yeah you are trailblazers right now you are paving the way if you're in survivor maybe hank surviving barstool season one but yeah you gonna get fucked um so yeah we got that um what do you got okay so

i will first of all this is something that i've thought of because i'm sober at the moment i'm a week sober now um it's not like a lasting thing it's just for a month or for the weight loss challenge well you must be feeling great you must be thinking clearly losing weight fucking better, feeling better having more fun I'm glad you brought that up Kevin it's the exact opposite it has nothing to do with the drinking not drinking to me is easy

I enjoy the ritual of drinking no fuck no everyone says all the time you're an alcoholic I very much like drinking I am not an alcoholic. My relationship with alcohol is very much like a high school friend where when I see you, we have a good time. I don't have to talk to you all the time.

Love that. It's very easy to not talk to you ever. But the downside of it comes with the idea that I thought I was going to feel better. I thought I was going to feel healthier. I thought I was going to wake up in the morning refreshed with a clear head. I have fucking none of that. Right now, I wake up the same I did two Sunday mornings ago. When you were like ripping, right?

Fucking son of a bitch. It's fucking daytime again. And it is disheartening. I'm still alive. It is upsetting. The only thing I've noticed is I have a stronger sense of smell. That's the only difference I have. Which, I'll be honest, not great.

Don't care for it. Don't care for it. You live in New York City. You work in a glorified frat house. You work in a place where the bathrooms are not great. Let me tell you what. I used to, during this little pandemic thing, I used to be able to walk down the street with a fucking stomach full of heartburn

and burp my fucking heart out into my mask. Totally fine. Now it's a fucking problem. You're smelling your own breath and it's a nightmare. You fucking scumbag. It is horrific. I hate every second of it. However, it has brought me to the idea, this thought.

Wait, is this the question? This is the question. Wait, hang on. Before you do the question, I just do have to say everything you described. I think a lot of people do that where they're like, I'm going to stop drinking. Right. And they expect this glorious turn of events, nothing in life. If it's not hard, you're, you're not going to get the glorious results. You know what I mean? Like, like if you are drinking too much and it's not hard, you're not going to get the glorious results. You know what I mean? Like, if you are drinking too much and it's a problem, if you stop drinking, you will get all. You probably will lose weight.

You probably will feel better because you cross the point of where you're drinking is, like, bad for you. But also, for those people to stop, it's a lot harder. Like, you might be, like, full blown up. Yeah, like, if you want all those good effects you have to get become an alcoholic first i gotta hit rock bottom yes you're you're you're starting like pour me up a glass yeah you're starting too early you're quitting alcohol too early if you want the good results you gotta go through like you gotta get bad first because it's not that hard for you to quit right no it's it's like people are actually like are you gonna like get rid of all the alcohol in your house?

I'm like, no. I sit by my bar cart every night. I'm not an alcoholic. It's very easy to not drink when you're not an alcoholic. And now it's just like, I don't have the results. It's actually the first time I thought the results were going to happen faster. And so the first morning I woke up, I was like, what the fuck? I didn't even drink last night.

Why do I still feel like this? And I figured, all right, maybe I need a little time to sweat it out or whatever. And now on the weekend, I woke up, I was like, what the fuck? I didn't even drink last night. Why do I still feel like this? And I figured like, all right, maybe I need a little time to sweat it out or whatever. And now on the weekend, I guess what? I woke up the worst I felt this morning. This morning I yelled at my whoop band because it was like you had a 77% recovery. I was like, oh, yeah. I feel like a fucking split off tit. The fuck I did.

Yo, see. I feel awful. I have a dry mouth and I'm fucking sore and i hurt and i have a foggy head and i'm like well maybe i'll go jump in the shower guess what didn't work oh i'll go jump rope oh maybe i'll get a sweat on today maybe i'll feel better after that guess what didn't work nothing works and that brings you to the question so do the ad read first i was gonna say if you if you do want like you want to get in shape you to feel better, it's like fat people losing weight. Fat people lose like 50 pounds in a day, so you've got to get fat first.

You've got to be skinny. You're not going to lose weight if you're skinny. You've got to get fat to lose weight. This was a fight I had with Casey the other day. She's like, because we've been going to the gym for this fucking weight loss challenge, and her and YP were talking about how I'm in good shape. And I was like, well, you fucking call me a fat bitch every day. And she's like, yeah, but it's because you're in good shape. I'm like, what are you talking about? And YP was getting mad at me because I was like, I'm just definitively not in good shape and i was like well you fucking call me a fat bitch every day and she's like yeah but it's because you're in good shape like what are you talking about and yp was getting mad at

me because i'm not i'm just i'm just definitively not in good shape yeah we know that and he's like no that's bullshit that's bullshit you are like i don't know what what do i have to do to convince you that i'm not in shape right now and it is look at this like you call me fat every fucking single day and like now i'm like yeah like i'm not in great shape it's like oh you just want attention what are you talking about you're the one who calls me fat all the time you know what they did the opposite to me jared and casey yesterday i thought they were pulling a prank on me both of them like cool as a cucumber were like oh you're the best looking person here and i was like like on the show or the yes on the show no the company well well i know

i was like i feel like i'm getting fucked with they were like jared was like yeah like somebody was asking me the other day like who are like the five best looking people at barstool and i put you at the top of the list like saying it like i was like i'm fucking a model like of course you know in case he was like oh yeah like all my girlfriends already said it. And I was like, I seriously stopped the job. I was like, what are you guys doing? What are you doing right now? I don't like it. Is this like the prank?

I walk out and start telling people, and they're like, ah, you're actually a fat, ugly pig, and we convinced you you're good looking, and you bought it, idiot. I didn't know what was happening. And that, I have such low self-esteem that I was like, I couldn't even take the compliment. I was just like, clearly you're liars. I don't know what's happening, and I don't like it, so start calling me ugly again. Call me skinny fat.

Call me ugly. I don't like any of this. Monday, you weren't on the show, and so I did CCK. And it was, I hated this show, the episode. It was like, everyone was calling and being like we love the show like yeah you guys are the best awkward and um so then maybe they were picking back up this because someone called in i forget who it was and was like oh like fights like you're my hall pass but my husband gets so mad about it because he thinks i should fuck kfc

instead he thinks kfc is way hotter and i was like like what and then so maybe that's what this happened yeah this was if this happened yesterday maybe that's what inspired dude yeah i guess so i will also just say like hall passes need to be like brad pitt because like i'll fuck your wife, bro. I will fuck your wife. Like, if she's hot enough, it's not like I'm above fucking some random people. You tell me it's the hall pass. I'll say, let's fuck. I'll fuck you in the bathroom for fucking 45 seconds.

Absolutely. I'll give you the worst sex of your life because I want to get my rocks off. You don't even get a hall pass. You just raise your hand with me. You don't have to leave the fucking classroom, bro. You're going to pee your pants. Just stay right there.

This is going to be quick. I'm not a hall pass. I'm standing up to go sharpen your pencil. It's true, though. The whole idea behind hall pass is this this is unattainable i'm like yeah i want to fuck like brad pitt but he won't fuck me it's like i will fuck you fuck your wife right here right now no hall passes over here but anyway if you want to feel better about yourself you want to get in shape you want to have that clear head and the endorphins and dream when you sleep at night and have that total overhaul of life.

You got to get yourself some fight camp because not only are you going to get in shape with fight camp, you're working off that aggression. It's like lifting weights works, but you're not working off – you're not burning off the steam from work. You're not like getting over your ex. You're not like, oh, my off. You're not burning off the steam from work. You're not you know, you're not like getting over your ex. You're not like, oh, my God, I fucking hate that guy so much. So let me like because when you do that, not only did you burn, you did your cardio, you worked your muscles, but you also like, OK, I no longer want to like, you know, kill everybody in sight. I no longer have, you know, all this pent up anger and aggression because, you know, you fought it out. You threw those hands. You fought. We got a bag. We don't have a fight camp.

I'd much prefer a fight camp. It's on its way where? To your apartment. So you're both getting one. You doggy! I'm telling you, man, it's going to be good for us. That is fucking... It's going to be good for me. That is fucking nice because we have a bag at the gym. I watched you hit Casey in the face with it.

Yeah, I did. Right in the face. That's the problem. That dumb idiot. I kept telling her, I was like, throw a hook, throw a hook. Knowing that was opening her up and just boom, right in the face. That's what's good about fight camp though. It's not one of these bungee, bouncy things. It's like you are fighting, you are hitting a body, like a torso,

like a weighted bag. It's just like the real fucking thing. It fucking bleeds. Get the bonus edition where you can push buttons and it cries. Get Fight Camp bonus where you push a button and it's like, no, please stop! Now, Fight Camp is the heavy bag, freestanding body. It comes with the gloves and it comes with workout programs for you to get your fight on get your workout on clear your head get you know mentally emotionally and physically stronger and

healthy i'm so excited to have one of these things hell yes yeah i was i've been i've been doing a lot of fitness stuff since this fitness challenge started and i'm like i've been looking at all the at-home fitness things all the different stuff the. The one I wanted was Fight Camp. Go to joinfightcamp.com slash KFC and you can get your new home gym. You can pay it over 24 months. The next two years you can finance it

if you can't pay the money up front. It's also got a 30-day money-back guarantee so you can try it for a month for free. Beat that thing up for a month straight, and if for some reason you don't like it, you can send it back. But I guarantee you after a month, if you use that Fight Camp, you're going to be feeling better, looking better, and you ain't sending it back.

The best part is it's high-intense workouts that are just 15 minutes. I'm a huge fan of that. It's just like I know I don't want to work out, but it's 8 o'clock right now, and by 8.15 I will be done. You know? Light at the end of the tunnel is what you need. And guess what? 15 minutes of fucking hitting the bag, you15 I will be done. You know? Light at the end of the tunnel. That's all you need. And guess what? 15 minutes of fucking hitting the bat, you're gonna be gassed. That's the thing.

Some of those workouts, just 60 seconds. Well, yeah. If you do anything intensely for 60 straight seconds, you're gonna be gassed. Just put your arms out for fucking 60 seconds. I'm gonna be like... So join fightcamp.com slash KFC. When I get mine, I'm gonna start running like numbers and shit too.

We're going to get this and ride with a, we're not ride punch with the KFC radio team. Go to a fight camp, join fight camp.com. Get free shipping. When you go to join fight camp.com slash KFC, plus that 30 day money back guarantee. And remember you can finance it for 24 months.

It's time for the question. Okay. So this is something I've thought of because – Yeah, like talk to me about like you're just walking home and this pops in your head. No, it's like – You've had this thought for a long time now. Wake up in the morning and take a shower and still be sad and thinking that the fucking alcohol and exercise and eating healthy and all that would have helped all those things. Mm-hmm. exercise and eating healthy and all that would have helped all those things.

What if you're happy and you were just oversold on what happiness actually is? What if this is happy? This is philosophical. I've had thoughts in like a similar or different way though. Like what if I'm dead and this is heaven? Well, but that one you can just like – I can tell you right now're not dead i don't know what i can't you can't tell me happiness is a is a is a like what if you think what if you're like i'm depressed and they're like no you're actually elated you just you just bought into hollywood movies and like that's

actually not what happiness is i do this all the time with everything. I think so. Like I've had all these surgeries, right? And so my body hurts, but I don't know. Maybe like maybe my surgeries were all successful and this is just how bodies feel. And maybe you wake up in the morning and feel just exactly what I feel. And I'm being a little bitch. What if I think to myself all the time? I'm like, I think I got a lot on my plate. I got I'm a single dad.

I got two kids. I got this job. I got exes. I got problems. But if I could feel what you feel, maybe this is just standard stress. Right. Maybe I'm feeling standard stress and standard pain. And maybe what I dream to be happiness and want to achieve is unachievable.

And what if what I have achieved is as good as it gets? What if we got to heaven and it's fucking Cincinnati, Kevin? Yeah. Because that's what this is happening right now. Yeah. This is like. That's what I feel's fucking Cincinnati, Kevin? Yeah. Because that's what this is happening right now. Yeah. This is like – That's what I feel like. Like what if this is – You told me this was going to be amazing and this is it?

What if I'm the happiest person on the planet? Right. What if – because guess what? If I had to describe a happy person, I'd probably describe me. If like – what I would describe would be like if you're like, well, what makes a happy person? I don't know, someone who laughs a lot and smiles a lot and has fun with their friends and enjoys their job. Like, that person's probably happy. That's me, except for the last part.

What if this is happiness? What if I'm the happiest person on the planet? Well, I mean. If someone could burn this for me, I'm going to fucking kill myself tonight. If this is the top of the mountain, I'm jumping off. I will say this. I can tell you definitively through experience. If you go down a path that many people go down, you will be further down the mountain.

I don't know if you're at the top of it, but if you go and have kids and marriage and all that shit, you're going to go down the mountain. It's going to get worse. Yeah, I'm just going to go down faster. You might jump off the mountain. Like right now,

I hate to be all preachy and say that kind of shit, but it's like, if you're still relatively single in terms of commitment commitment marriage paperwork and you don't have kids you don't have bills you don't have a lot of that shit it's gonna get worse well that's not gonna happen so whether or not yeah if you don't go down that path that's fine but like in general you got to think like as we get older it'll just get like i don't don't know, got to get worse, no? Yeah. We are depreciating assets as humans.

Like, it's diminishing returns, no doubt. I want to talk to commercials. Anyone who's ever made a commercial, anyone who's ever made a TV show, anyone who's made a movie, I'm suing you all for false advertising. Right. Because, like, what if this is it? Think about this. Think about this think about this you can say almost definitively that when you watch a movie and it's like a rom-com and they're talking about like love and relationships you're like well it's not really

like that you know what i mean when they paint like such a rosy picture of love and dating and it's like oh what what it really is is like you sit on opposite ends of the couch and you like scroll instagram and then you go to bed you know what i mean so we know that they're lying to us about like love you were saying we pretty liberally here because i buy into that stuff yeah i i think that's how it goes oh no we've got a lot of problems then you talk about it's not real that's real there are real people in the movies not about cartoons like i remember um you know you know you know what was it let's see how many let's see how many cents were up maybe i think this is up 17 bucks maybe 17 yeah you know we just had a little a little minimum wage hour for ourselves

we just made as much as a burger flipper. We did not, by the way. We made about a double. $10 more. Yeah, we had a universal living wage hour. I remember seeing American Pie 2, I think.

And they rented a cabin by the lake, and they painted houses. We've talked about this before, because you kind of did that when you painted houses. But I remember thinking – I did it for a day. A day, yeah. You're not qualified to. Maybe two days.

You're not qualified to work a brush. That was one of the only – I was probably 18 around then, and that was probably one of the first moments I realized as an adult I'm a pussy because I called – it might have been two or three days. It was enough. I was probably making $100 a day, something like that. I don a pussy. Because I called. It might have been two or three days. It was enough. I was probably making $100 a day. I don't know. I was making $15 an hour working however many hours you work.

I called the guy and told him I quit. And I felt bad about the quitting. But I said, those three days were for free. Don't bother. Wow. If I only get $300, I would probably just. I'm such a fucking asshole. I'd rather just not have $300

than have to like come see you and pick up a paycheck for the three days work I did so you're welcome on the house I feel you on that I'll catch you later yeah yeah yeah

I don't regret the decision but it made sense that's the beginning of like not knowing your self worth and having no self esteem and all that kind of shit but sure I understand where you're coming from

but I remember thinking like yeah like I'm gonna do that like me and my friends we're're going to rent the house. We're going to do these things. And then, like, you just realize that that kind of stuff doesn't really happen. That's why I love actually renting, like, getting share houses.

That's why I always say, like, summer houses are my favorite time that I've ever been alive is doing those things. Because that was as close to that, like, movie type of life where it was, like like me and my buddies living in a house we're going out we're like blah blah but that was just like fleeting you know we did that for like a couple months and like you're you're you're you're explaining the exact plot of the film okay but you said it doesn't happen no i mean no i i don't think that happens really like like where you all get jobs in like the local town and you like live that life we were just like renting a house getting shit faced there and that's what i mean even like live that life we were just like renting a house getting shit face there and that's what i mean even like even like things in the movies like romanticize

it to the point that like it wasn't it's not like a terrible example i did exactly this for like seven years that's why you should be happy well what if i am yeah yeah yeah i mean those things see that's why i believe in movies because i just do the movie things well then you should definitely be happy because all of the things that i see in movies every time i've tried to do it it's like again the closest i've ever come is renting those houses but it never felt like the way that those guys like by the end of it i'm ever being like i don't oh get me the fuck out of here yeah i'm over and like we're fighting and it sucks here and they always have this like you know wonderful like experience like so the movies to me has always been uh like fake if the movies to you

are real you absolutely should shut the fuck up because you're happy the movies to me are definitely real but i what is nice is you telling me i'm happy is clearly telling me i'm not so so my existential crisis of like what if i'm happy is over? Because I'm like, oh, no, never mind. We still have something to aspire to. I definitely still think sometimes I'm dead. Like, you know, we've talked about we have those moments where you wake up going. You're like, oh, my God. Like, I wasn't breathing for like how long.

Like, I don't know. What if in those moments you didn't actually like you stop breathing and that's you like waking up in the afterlife. And then this is just it. But I can tell you, I didn't die. It didn't happen. You stopped breathing, and that's you waking up in the afterlife, and then this is just it. But I can tell you I didn't die. It didn't happen. You don't know that. That's my point. No, I do know it. How do you know that?

Because I'm not dead. How would you know that? How do you know this is not the afterlife? Mine is much harder to quantify. I can tell you I'm not a dead person. I don't think you can. You can't even tell me right now that a dead person. I don't think you can. I mean. You can't even tell me right now that you're awake.

Maybe this is a dream. I can tell you I'm awake, too. I'm just awake. I don't think you can. I can tell you I'm awake. You can't prove it to me. You can say whatever you want. You just can't prove it.

I mean, I guess this is a conspiracy theory thing where I can't prove a negative. Right. I'm not asleep. Like, you really can't tell me that. You don't know that this is not a dream sequence. I woke up! I woke up, like, four hours ago! You've never been in a dream and been sleeping in a dream?

Never! Well, that happens all the fucking time. Not to me! All the time. It's very possible to be asleep in a dream and, like, oh, I woke up and I was dreaming and you're still dreaming. I recall waking up. I was upset about it. about it no idea what the afterlife might be like maybe the afterlife is just you get like a second life what if this is a reincarnation what if what if your

paradise is like but this isn't fair you just get because you're just making me prove things i can't prove i'm just an awake person right now telling you he's an awake person right now it's the same shit as like happy these are things that you can't really like know there's no way to i think it's quite different than like happiness like i think it's quite different than knowing what each other are feeling rather than being like hey just so you know you're alive dude yeah i mean it's not exactly the same but i think these are things significantly different yeah but i but I think there's, like, something... There's a similarity in the sense that you... You feel that?

Yeah, but that... Okay. You feel things in dreams? Maybe you do. That's my point. See, you can't... You're just living it out in the open. I'm like, isn't it weird?

No, it's like... So in your mind, like, you can't be pinched in the afterlife. But you don't feel things in dreams. You just felt that. I don't know that. You don't know. You're bouncing back and forth between death and dreams.

Fine, okay. Let's stay with death. Like, can you be pinched when you're dead? I don't know. Can you not get pinched in the afterlife? I just didn't die. What if this? Maybe you did.

But how would I have died? I haven't even. But, like, those nights where you wake up holding your breath, what if you just stopped fucking breathing and that's you waking up in the afterlife? But that's just not how the human body works. You just breathe. I just breathe more.

What if you fucking overdosed or drank too much or whatever, you had an aneurysm in your head? You wouldn't know if you're dead. If there's an afterlife. I don't know. It's pretty easy because I don't believe in an afterlife but it is it's just we're just a room full of alive people chatting here or a room full of dead people living in the afterlife i guess i don't think that's that crazy of a concept to not be able to wrap your head around i know i can wrap my head around i just think it's silly well I get what you're saying.

Like, we're all dead, but we're not. Again, you just can't. There's no way to know. Okay. Fun combo. Yeah. I can't prove I'm alive if you just keep going, well, you might be dead, though.

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What was the – I think I'd look at Nicaragua. Did you say Nicaragua? You said Nicaragua. Yeah, Nicaragua, Dominican Republic, Honduras, Ecuador, the Bahamas, and America. I feel like we probably roll some good old ones here in the U.S. of A. I used to go to the market in Arthur Ave, and they had like this open-air market. They had Mike's Deli where you could get food, and they just had these old Italian guys

just rolling cigars. Oh, are you talking about this? There was like devices that roll them? I believe so, but I think it's close to the pandemic. I'm not even a big cigar guy, but when you tell me that I'm getting a hand-rolled quality one,

I'm like, well. It's almost like drinking wine, too. You might not be a wine guy yet, but if someone gives you a glass of wine and you're like all right i'm gonna smell it and swirl it and enjoy it you could do that with a cigar too oh you know like like you if you if you're around cigar guys it's like just you're gonna do it you know what i mean like enjoy it do it be a cigar guy in that cigar too is because we got sent some of these. And a cigar, like, the second you see it, you're like, I want to smoke that. Absolutely. Like, I don't feel that way about cigarettes.

I don't feel that way about other tobacco. I don't feel that way about weed. But, like, you see a cigar, and I want to puff on it. And it's, like, because it's just a social thing, I feel like. Like, cigarettes are, like, you know, a social thing i feel right like cigarettes are like you know you just rip them and you have like an addiction a cigar is like you pop it for a celebration you pop it with the guys you're like gonna sit around the fire you're gonna sit out on the roof you're gonna be outdoors it's like a whole experience is when you're smoking cigars

it is it is the it is the the quintessential and and i will say so sometimes a little too like i'm a badass because i smoke a cigar but at the same time if you're not trying too hard with it it's cool as shit like when jamal adams lit the wrong end of a cigar trying to like cough like yeah we made it to the playoffs and then promptly got fucking bounced that's yeah you deserve that that's why i i do feel like I need like a cigar Sherpa where they're like, you know, here's how to cut it. Here's how to light it. You got to twirl it.

You got to spin it. Here's the good kind. Here's the bad kind. You rip it. See, I feel like I do that and I like fuck it up and then it's like all falling apart. Definitely. And then I got like tobacco leaves like falling all over.

It's not lighting. It's not staying properly lit. That's why what you need is a place like Cigar International. Like, they're going to get you the right choices. Then I think, you know, what you need is one of those, like, torch lighters. Yeah. Those burn real fucking hot. They keep them lit.

Or, alternatively, do it on the stove. Also badass. Yeah. One time. So the first time I ever actually smoked a cigar, I just, like, you know, if you're lighting from the stove, you got to kind of like come in from the side. I just like put my head over and I singed my eyebrows. Had you not said that, I would have gone right. I've seen my eyebrows before.

You don't even have eyebrows to sing. If John singed his eyebrows, you look like fucking Charlie Villanueva. They would just be gone. Right off your face. I did it trying to grill in college. Blew the whole thing up. On my back. Like you wouldn't put your face into it.

It blew up enough that you were standing upright. Like I ran from the fire. And it caught me. I always get afraid in the indoor. So if you go to ignite and it's like and it's not lighting but that's like gas still coming up and then i'm like well i'm gonna just keep doing this until it lights and it's gonna fucking blow up i'll switch to another burner but with the grill i was just like i guess i just had the gas on for a long time with the hood

closed and then it went and it was like like it pushed me back like char Charlie Kelly where it blows you to safety. Yeah. The explosion pushed me back. God, we are so lucky to be alive. Or are we? I don't know. Maybe you died when you blew yourself up at the fucking grill. But here's the thing. So like I said, I'm not, I don't know cigars. I'm not a cigar guy.

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code KFC. Cigars with an S international cigars, plural international.com with promo code KFC and you'll get 10% off plus free shipping. That's cigars with an S international.com promo code KFC. I feel like that's going to be a big sponsor of ours. I think a lot of our, our guys and girls, sometimes you see a girl ripping a stogie stogie and it's like, Whoa, like you are not to be trifled with. You are a badass bitch. I feel like Erica gets off the ice.

She lights up a cigar. A cigar and a fucking Miller Lite. Yeah, man. That shit that she's going through, I feel like that's going to be, like, her lasting legacy. Like, when it all was said and done. I think she's going to start a hockey league. You think so? I think right now, what I would do if I were her,

I would get two teams. I would just start with two teams. I would go get all the girls she's cool with, find a couple, you know, how many people are on a hockey team? 12, 15? 20-something. Really? Wow. I think 22, 24.

Yeah, that makes more sense. That's what I think about basketball. All right, so you go get like 40 girls, come up with two teams. Yeah, I think 22 players, two goalies. And you just start with that, and you do like a a barstool classic and you have those two teams play each other and you get like all of us in the stands and you have a fucking bangarang event where all of a sudden like the most fun sporting event you've ever been to ironically somehow is women's

hockey and you turn it into an internet event and a social media event and you become like this fucking thing where it's like hey girls you can go play for like the nwhl which is like no fun and doesn't like actually support women and or come over here and have a goddamn why does it support women so they like so erica uh i mean erica has been like the number one supporter of women's hockey right right? And the NWHL, like the champion of all the girls, plays the sport herself, like she's the CEO of a company and then her off time plays the sport, endorses the sport, supports the sport, and of course,

all like the other journalists and writers and people who deal with women's hockey come after her and Barstool. Deadspin calls her evil. We're, of course course white supremacists the whole nine and then the nwhl puts out a statement and they have a chance to back like the only person who has ever supported the nwhl and really ever i mean you know that existed see i know because i've caught i've taught i've coached the girls yeah i didn't even know i've coached them

up hillary knight right like when the boston pride won i forget the name of their cup i was Because I've coached the girls. Yeah, I didn't even know. I've coached them up. Hillary Knight. Right, right. When the Boston Pride won, I forget the name of their cup, I was fucking supposed to go out with a trophy that night. I ended up getting too drunk. We've been with the NWHL for, not the league itself, not in any official capacity, but with Hillary Knight, Jillian Dempsey, I'm friendly with them. I'm friends with Babs, who now plays for the Riveters.

And it's just weird gatekeeping whether or not someone can be a fan of your sport. Why do you have to make an official statement? And WHL puts out the statement being like, without naming her name was like with like fuck off erica nardini being like we can't we don't endorse any any media company who will talk about reporters yeah it's it's like i think it's like under no circumstance would it be appropriate to call out reporters oh really like under no circumstances let's do the bill burr here you know like under you can't ever? No reason ever?

I can come up with some fucking reasons, and one of them is right fucking now what's happening. Calling a woman evil is fucking insane. Certain words are reserved for certain things. You can't call us racists and white supremacists. You can't call her evil. You can't say open race. These things are not even beginning to approach appropriate and absolutely are a warrant like a response or calling someone out or basically in this case just defending herself it's like

she can't speak up and defend herself and you have to put out a statement like condemning her it is that this is a problem we've dealt with with Barstool forever, I feel like. And it does. It changes a bit now that we are kind of like the big boy in the schoolyard. Yeah. We're like for, you know, 10 years ago, we were always fighting with people who were trying to keep us down. Right now we're up and it does. There is. I will admit that there is sometimes a I know you are pro.

Like if you come at me, I'm going to come and share. What is completely fair? 100, 200 percent fair. Sometimes, I know you are pro, like, if you come at me, I'm going to come at you. It's completely fair. 100, 200% fair. There is, like, there is definitely an element of punching down to it now, because it's like, you're a fucking, you're a nobody, I can squish you. I'm more of the, like, I don't, fuck it, yeah, okay, I'm a white supremacist, whatever you say. But I do like that there still is the fire to it but they're just the fact that fucking people think like like reporters like you're a reporter with i don't know what

kind of following you have but i'm sure there's i mean if you're uh something focusing on like women's hockey we can all guarantee you it's probably 200 followers by like by the way i like like having i like the girls i the the women i fucking whatever i call girls and guys fucking deal with it um the uh like i like the girls i guys. Fucking deal with it. I like the girls. I have a good time with the girls. They're actually fucking really, really good. I know all women's sports gets the bashing. They're like, I've, it doesn't really, I will say this too, it doesn't really play on Twitter.

They're like, it does look a little slower because it's in the midst of NHL highlights. Live. But when you're fucking on the bench, these fucking people can play fucking hockey. It's always like hockey. Live is like, I have to witness it. We won the championship. No big deal. But the idea that you can just say things to your,

like, into the ether, and then, like, get mad when someone responds to it. Look at Johnny Head Coach. Oh, there you have it. Look good, feel good, coach good. I will be straight up honest that looks like an entirely different human i did not know that was john that is like who is that picture that who's that person that john tweeted out oh it's him that's me it's john when we went

on to coach we won that game fucking looked awesome um but anyway the Yeah, I look a lot different. My championship t-shirt there. Yeah. But what I'm saying is this. Like, I don't understand why people think they can say something about someone and then get mad when they reply. Why? Like, I didn't fucking... I don't even know who you are.

You came to me. I fucking acknowledged you. Don't fucking... Keep my name out of your mouth if you don't want me to fucking talk about you. Keep my name out of your mouth if you don't want me to fucking screenshot about you keep my name out of your mouth if you don't want me to fucking screenshot what you said about me and respond to it right it's fucking insane i'm just then proving your hypocrisy by replying like in my own right i'm not going out of my way i'm not picking a fight i'm just replying to what you said and you don't like the fact that like my answer is fucking like owning the argument

you know what i mean like oh i just I just fucking blew you out of the water. And that's the, and her, her major point, her main point is, is so key. Like the NWHL, the writers and all the fans,

whoever, if they don't like her, like they have every right to say whatever they want. The actual league coming out and like the, you are not in, in the position you are, you do not have the luxury of alienating the only real platform that's giving you true attention. Erica's the only person who can make the needle move for the NWHL.

That's just a fact. I will give them this, they are on NBC Sports this year. They are on the channel the NHL is on. But, you know, I would venture to guess there's not another person in the field that is talking about them that people really rally around. You are not in any position, and you don't have to, turn your back on her at all. They could have just put out a statement being like, we support anybody who supports us, and that's it. Or just like, if you want to watch a fucking sport, you can watch a sport. Or, by the way, you don't have to put out a statement at all. That's what I mean.

Imagine the NHL, we got to put out a statement here. We don't like this person watching our fucking games. Suck my fucking little dick. Bro, there were tweets saying that Erica

should be fired by Barstool. Because of what? Because of this. I literally almost just flipped the table. And that all all leagues men male and female should band together and ban barstool sports i was like what does that even

mean like we don't ever have access to any of these sports so like ban us from like talking about you what does that even ban us from what the i the fucking absolute audacity and the insane amount of fucking misplaced self-confidence and self-worth you have to have to be like, no, they can't watch my sport. Fuck off. I'm going to become the biggest NWHL fan ever. Fucking Boston Pride. Let's fucking go. I'm fucking jacked up for the Boston Pride this year.

I want to go become a true white supremacist and then wave the flag of the NHL, of the NWHL. You know what I mean? Be like, yep, just finished up burning my cross, and now I'm going to watch the New York Ice Raiders. I mean, let's go. Where do I sign up for white supremacy? I'm here for the white supremacy meeting. I'm here for the white supremacy. Excuse me.

I'm just doing this out of spite. I'm going to become a white supremacist. Give me the fucking Danny Vigard tattoo so I can go fucking shirtless at a Rosie Riveters game. You fucking asshole. I'm going to sit in the stands of the NWHL with all of the 16 people

and I'm going to be tying nooses. And I'm just going to be cheering them on. Yep, that's right, NWHL. The white supremacy fans are here. And all you had to do was just let Eric Nardini enjoy it. And instead you got me. How about that? I'm going to do that.

I'm going to become the biggest NWHL fan. So you could have had Eric, but instead you got this scumbag. I am neither a white supremacist, a racist, or an NWH fan, NWHL fan. I'm becoming all three out of spite. We started this show, we're gonna do things? Oh yeah, we're doing it. First up, racism. We're doing it. We're fucking doing it.

NWHL, you done fucked up. Yeah. We're joining a motorcycle gang, get a bunch of fucking fucking infected tattoos, and then go watch women's hockey. Women's hockey. If you ever told me that women's hockey was going to give me this fight.

And again, you're making me make jokes about it. I fucking like the women who play this sport, but if you don't want me, guess who you're getting? It's me! You chose poorly, NWHL. Danny Quaid fucking walking in the Marlboro Hockey Rink. Hello, girls! I'm back!

Man. Sorry, you made your choice. You made your fucking choice. You can't like my sport. You indie fucking dickheads. I'm going to like You made your fucking choice. You can't like my sport. You indie fucking dickheads. I'm going to like your sport so fucking hard. I'm going to fucking love your sport. I'm going to watch every fucking game.

I'm going to tweet. I'm going to have my fucking wedding at a fucking NWHL hockey game. I'm going to go get a fucking... You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to fucking become a woman. I'm going to join a fucking You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna fucking become a woman I'm gonna join the NWHL I'm gonna transition And join the ice

What did you say? The Rosie Riveters or some shit? I'm joining the club I think it's the New York Riveters Rosie Riveter It is fucking Let's fucking do it I'm gonna go fucking in vitro fertilization

Make sure I have a daughter And teach her to play hockey Just so she can be in the NWHL You know what I'm gonna do? You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna go fucking in vitro fertilization, make sure I have a daughter, and teach her to play hockey, just so she can be in the NWHL. You know what I'm gonna do? You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna go to an NWHL game. And I'm gonna tattoo that daughter with a fucking barstool on her forehead. Some girls brand her.

Some babies get their ears pierced, mine's getting a fucking tattoo on her forehead, so when she gets good, you know where she came from. I'm, you know, I'm gonna do, I'm gonna go to the NWHL game. I'm gonna run out on the ice I'm gonna just chop my dick off right then and there It's gonna be like what's that guy Macharchuk the guy who got his fucking nice Clint Mlarchuk yeah look at you Kevin Blood all over the ice and I'm gonna stand there

No dick being like I love the NWHL I'm gonna look at their fucking Commissioner right in the face and say you did this You did this all you had to do was let Erica like your sport, and you didn't. So now I chopped my dick off at the middle of the fucking All-Star game. It's crazy. It's so crazy. Like, all that happened was fucking Babs came on a podcast.

Babs played on our fucking, on the Barstool hockey team in the fucking, fucking Pond hockey tournament. Yo, and I said to Erica, but surely everybody's on your side. The people are on your side. She's like, oh, au contraire. People who I thought were my friends are either not speaking up or openly against me. I'm like, wow.

That's the one thing I thought was going to happen. Babs and I think Rebecca Russo is her name. Those girls are having her back, but I thought most girls would be like, wait a minute. Like, you know, I don't even know her all that well, but like she's a fucking boss on and off the ice. She's great, you know, but no, it's not. So watch out when there's the NWHL. It's like the Nardini Women's Hockey League.

And then you're fucked, bro. Watch out when fucking Savannah Feidelberg starts dangling on your fucking bitch ass. And part of her fucking... Savannah the Savage. Part of her fucking celebration is headbutting you with her Barstool tattooed forehead. She's gonna be the girl on the ice like, eat my box. Speaking of bad bitches, you see this?

Halsey Prego. What? Yeah. By who? Do we know? I don't know. That just broke. She did. She announced it with a little photo shoot and a bikini and looking hot as fuck as always. Tan as shit. Halsey's the best. She's the best. Halsey's voice is, I think, legitimately my favorite voice of all time.

It's so distinct. Yeah. Screenwriter Alev Aydin. I'll see if he... Have they been together this whole time? Yeah, I guess so. What's the lyric in You Should Be Sad? And I'm so glad I never had a baby with you.

I'm so sad you had a baby with Aladin. That's tough. Also, Aladin, go by Aladdin, bro. Is that what you said his name was? What is it? Alev Aiden. Alev Aiden. Go by Aladdin.

Alev Aiden should be good. Go by Aladdin. Alev Aiden. Alev Aiden. Go by Aladdin. Alev Aiden should be good. Go by Aladdin. Alev Aiden. What's he look like? Because... Okay, yeah. He looks like Hard Factor Pat. I can make a joke that he should go by Aladdin.

That legitimately looks like Hard Factor Pat should be that guy for Halloween. That's unbelievable. Well, that baby's going to be super good looking and super talented probably. Man, imagine getting Halsey pregnant. That'd be pretty awesome. Yeah, imagine it pretty regularly. Doing big cums in you. I just picture her.

My fantasy is not even the having sex part. It's her just taking the pregnancy test and telling me. Halsey coming out with a stick saying I'm pregnant. And then I go to bed at night. Then I roll over. I'm satisfied. All right. Am I the asshole today?

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slash KFC for 15% off. First M of the Asshole letter rip. Am I the asshole for leaving my dildo out in my room? I female 23 female 23 am a recent university graduate currently living at home with my folks.

Due to the current situation, I've been unable to land a graduate placement, so I've been busting my ass working at a local supermarket. I've been under a lot of pressure, which obviously means I cherish the time I spend distressing, I think she means de-stressing, distressing myself with my toy every morning before I head off to work. This particular

morning, I lost track of time and had to rush out. When I got home, me mum was standing there holding my dildo. She did not look at me. Oh, Jesus Christ. Obviously, I was mortified. I asked her what she was doing in my room. She told me she found my younger brother playing with it.

Oh, Jesus. He must have seen it on my bed and grabbed it. She then lectured me on how damaging this could potentially be. I apologized and told her I must have forgotten to put it away because I was in a rush, but also that my brother shouldn't have been in my room in the first place. She told me I shouldn't have a toy like this anyway. I asked her what she meant by that. She told me it was too big for me and that I would end up ruining myself.

Holy shit. I told her that my sex life was none of my business and that I would decide what is too big for me. She wouldn't. Oh, my God. She then got upset, claimed she was telling me for my own sake, and added that a smaller toy would be more discursive. Jesus, Mary and Joseph.

My mom wants things done her way. 24, female, 23. I stood my ground and told her I was happy with what I had. Mom! If I wanna fuck a big black cock, I'm gonna! If I wanna fuck a 14-inch dildo, I'm gonna! You slammed the door in her face.

Jesus Christ. Can you fucking imagine any of that? You know what that is? That girl's moving out tomorrow. You're 24, you're on the fence. Should I save money, save rent? Nope, you can't even blast yourself

with your right-sized dildo. That is like a movie argument. If that was happening in a movie, probably in a porno movie, the daughter would take that out of her hand and be like, you think it's too big? Watch this. And fucking stab herself in the stomach with it. Just like, yeah, mom, I can feel it in my sternum. What do you think about that?

Oh, it's in my lungs, mom. Your mom telling you, basically, you know, like, not directly, but reading between the lines, like, you're going to have a loose pussy, honey. Like, you need to get a smaller toy because this is going to tear you up. I mean, this poor mother. Can you maybe look at some comments, see if there's any follow up? Like, go to the Reddit page. I always go to the Reddit page. I mean, this poor mother. Can you maybe look at some comments, see if there's any follow-up? Go to the Reddit page. I always go to the Reddit page. Is there anybody being like, how big was it?

Just gotta give a size. Just gotta give a size. What if you just took your mom shopping? Like, my mom, what do you think I should fuck myself with? What size do you think is appropriate, mom? I do probably think that, like, moms loading moms you know mom dildos are probably like you know like five inches and then like this generation is probably like well i'll take the 14 incher can i tell you something about mom dildos sure this is wild this is wild i i actually said this on the podcast me and Chaps were doing the other day,

where I think I know everything in the world, and my brain, in order to just test me, doesn't tell me. Oh. You can't unlock the thing your brain knows. Because Chaps was giving me a test on the Bible, and every answer I got, as soon as I said it out loud, I went, no, that's wrong, it's this one. And it was that one.

Every single time. Every single time. Okay, so what's your brain lying to you about the wrong. It's this one. And it was that one. Every single time. Every single time. Okay. So what's your brain lying to you about the doubles? No, this time my brain, this was one where it was just new. I was like seven years old, and I was playing at my friend's house before we had a baseball game. And I'm always seven, again. I was probably somewhere between. I don't know.

But anyway, we were playing. We had a baseball game. We were just playing in the backyard, and then his mom was giving us a ride to the game. And she came out with a water bottle, and was like a weird shaped water bottle and it was like it was basically just a kind of came with like to a head like this and then had a long straw on top of it and she was a single mom and i remember being in the car and being like as a single mom i bet she fucked herself with this like i was like, this kind of looks like a penis. I bet when mommies don't have daddies, they fucking put things like this.

I knew what a dildo was way before I'd ever heard of a dildo. I was like, I bet in the absence of a penis, they usually put this in her. I was sitting in the backseat stunned, just staring at this thing. I know she fucks herself with her. I was sitting in the backseat stunned, just staring at this thing, being like, I know she fucked with those. And I just knew it. I don't think, now looking back, she probably had her own actual dildo. Right.

But before I knew what dildos existed, I was like, she puts that in her. I think having dildos is wild, to get specific about it. I think if you have a dildo that's not a vibrator, that's wild to me. It's a lot of work. Yeah, it's just like,

why don't you get the upgrade? It's like there's a better model that does more shit. If I was a chick, I would have the one with all the bells and whistles, the fucking beads on the inside spinning and the rabbit ears. What does this do? I don't know.

Nothing. But maybe. Looks cool. Maybe something better than just being like, here's a rubbery, veiny dick that you have to just plunge your pussy with. Just plunge it. That can't possibly work, right? You can't just sit there and plunge and be like, yeah, got me off.

Bro. We've talked to people who've fucked couch cushions before. Like, yeah, I think the fake dick Could probably get me off Get you off? If I was a girl fucking myself with it yeah It's so different for chicks I've fucked a Bernie and Phil's couch before Yeah I think a sex toy could work

Would you go with I fucked a ziploc bag of Vaseline Yeah the fake dick could probably work dude If you were a chick would you just buy like a fucking Hammer Would you just buy like a forearm dick Um No it would ruin me

Gotta preserve Gotta preserve for my husband Oh yeah That mom That mom is so crazy Like you just bury that I'm going to preserve. I'm going to preserve for my husband. Oh, yeah. That mom. That mom is so crazy. Like, you just bury that. Like, you... And you walk in the house.

Your mom's standing in your fucking bedroom doorway like a Sith Lord. Yeah. Just like, what is this coming from? I'm like, I don't know, mom. You probably have an idea where that goes, right? Yeah, right. Fucking take your hands off it. Right.

You probably don't want to touch that. I ran out of here in a rush. I didn't clean it. Goodness gracious. That fucking thing perforated my lower intestine last night. You want to see it bulge out of my stomach, man? I got a hernia because of this thing. Okay?

Jesus Christ. When do you think... I don't even know how we got here. When do you think... I don't even know how we got here. When do you think sex toys went mainstream? I don't know. Probably when I discovered what they were in the back of my friend's mom's car. 1993, whatever that was. I feel like it probably used to be pretty taboo, and now it's something like...

Yeah. What is going on right now? What are you doing? What is happening right here? I was trying to get comfortable this is not it but you committed to it i did now i'm like you ever have like your dog do that which is like it kind of like sits on a stair but its feet are on the stairs below it yeah yeah yeah like that can't be comfortable she's like fucking watch me yeah like i'm committing to this

okay um okay but. But the idea... Oh, when did sex toys become mainstream? Yeah, like to the point... You know, like you pretty much... If you are like a teenage girl, like relatively of age, like you probably got one now. Like I would imagine

the vast majority of girls have it and it's not like a taboo thing. I think right around the... I think everything with the explosion of pornography was all kind of like... You know what I think it was? Butt stuff, mainstream. Dildos, mainstream.

Facials, mainstream. Everything fucked up, mainstream! I give a lot of credit to the thong song. I think the thong song... The thong song? Yeah, I think the thong song did a lot of wonders for the world. I think the thong song was an important moment in human history. Yeah. I don't think Cisco song did a lot of wonders for the world. I think the thong song was an important moment in human history. Really?

Yeah. I don't think Sisqo deserves the love Lil' Kim has. Like, the thong song was just a beater. Like, that was a good song. Yeah, but I think it did. How many licks? That was the shit we're looking for. Yeah, but I think thong song did work wonders for, like, popularizing the thong, popularizing things like that.

Like, being like, it's not just, uh... I mean, I can't. This is... If you're watching on YouTube, this is just... I'm stuck on something. You're gonna fall soon. You're working your core right now, I can tell. Check your whoop.

Marine core. The marine core. Somebody kill this man. Somebody fucking kill him. Am I the asshole? Yes, you are, John. Am I the asshole? Am I the asshole for keeping a cat?

The cat that I've seen lost posters for. My roommates and I have been visiting this stray cat for about three months now and recently just took her in. We would be visiting her at the same church every night. Sometimes we came at 8 p.m. Other times it was 2 a.m. But it would always be the same church. Those are both the times that girl in the last day of my life came. Dude, how weird are you if you just go to a church every night and hang out with cats?

Like sometimes we go at 8 p.m. Sometimes we go at 2 a.m. Why are you going to random churches with stray cats at all hours of the day and night? I have so many questions. I'm going to let you continue, but but i have why are there so many cats in a church is this a tibetan monastery what's in the church but i guess they're around the church it took a while for her to trust us but after consistent visits with food and blankets she eventually warmed up to us and eventually started running towards us when we would visit

her long story short two weeks ago we took her. She seemed to adjust really well to indoor life really fast. And looking back on it, now she wasn't too scared of us at first, but especially after being a stray so that she would be a red flag. That was a poorly worded sentence. But we took her to the vet. She had no microchip, and she wasn't spayed. We thought she might have been spayed in catch and release program because the tip of her ear was clipped.

Fast forward to today, we started seeing lost cat signs of our cat. It seemed I was afraid that it was going to happen because she seemed too friendly off the bat. The sign just says, have you seen this cat with a picture of her and a phone number? I know we should call the number and let them know that we kind of stole their cat, but we're having our hesitations on chipping her, and we've bonded with her a lot. We've had our hesitations giving her back. We were just looking into spaying her and chipping her, and we bonded with her a lot. We've had our hesitations giving her back. We were just looking into spaying her and chipping her and we bonded with her a lot. Whoever had her last didn't chip her, didn't even have a collar on her, yet we let her

loose and she would come back to the same place every night for the last three months. They also didn't start putting up signs until a whole week after being missing slash kidnapped. I know she will be absolutely loved here. We already have dedicated so much time and money to her her but ultimately she's kind of someone else's cat what do you guys think I should do honestly if you just left out the first part I'd say keep the cat but there's something wrong with you

and I don't think there's something wrong with people people with something wrong with them shouldn't have anything people with something wrong with them should have cats I don't even think shouldn't have cats. I don't even think you should have cats. Cat people are... I don't think you should have nothing. I don't think if there's something wrong with you, you should have nothing.

And you think there's something wrong because they're like church hangar outers at night? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Right. If I walk by a church and there's people hanging out playing out with cats at 3 in the morning? So weird, right? Something wrong with that person.

Okay. You ready for the twist here? Oh, boy. More cat people we found out who was putting up the poster it wasn't the owner

it was just another person who was friends with the stray cat and was concerned about it what so someone else was just

doing the same exact thing feeding this cat and giving it blankets and shit probably like maybe not at that church but down the block at like the bodega or whatever and then they took the cat in and the other stranger who just hung out with strays put up a sign being like i'm worried about my stray cat friend what is this fucking what is this neighborhood is this what is this neighborhood yelp i'd love to see the Yelp reviews of this church. Five stars, tons of cats. You're looking for a spot to find a cat? Let me tell you about Pew 3.

Cat heaven. Cat heaven. I mean, how weird is that? The church has been dilapidated and run down after Father Donovan was raping everybody. But now cats own the place and it's a pretty good spot. It's way safer now dude how funny though we called the number it turns out it wasn't an owner just a concerned person who also fed the cat posters were also uh were not put up by an owner just just loved the

cat and we're happy it's being taken care of i mean this cat by the way has got it going on i mean this must be like the coolest cat ever it's know what that cat does? That cat meets up with other cats at the fucking church and says, I got these stray humans. Give me whatever the fuck I want. This cat's playing, y'all. I mean, could you imagine befriending a stray cat, feeding it, taking care of it? I can't imagine befriending a stray animal. Then when it stops coming around. I think even a dog I'd be scared of. imagine defending a stray animal. Then when it stops coming around.

I think even a dog I'd be scared of. Right, but think about this. Then it stops coming around. And rather than just being like, that stray cat is fucking dead or just like somewhere else, you put up posters to track it down. Stray cat converted to Judaism. He's over at the synagogue. That cat's culture is a bitch now.

That Muslim cat. He's like, on it's own plate alright how fucking wacky do you gotta be to be that big of a cat person multiple cat people whoa whoa whoa is there bacon in this tuna time to bury the plate

but also but also if this were to happen like if it wasn't another stray human, I mean, if someone else owns the cat, they own the cat. You got to give it back. All right, now, fuck that. You got to give it back. Nope.

Yeah, you do. I mean, as someone who's stolen animals and given them back before, that was too long in between. Like, I've been feeding this cat for weeks. It's been living with me for a month, and now you put up signs? No, no, no, no, no. My cat. I knew right away the next morning when they were rapping on the door saying, where's my fucking dog? I was like, you can have the dog back.

Cat? What'd you name that dog? Eleven? Eleven. Yeah. And what was his real name? Ah, fuck if I know. I feel like it begins with a D, but I don't really remember.

Last one here. Am I the asshole for telling my daughter to read less? Like, just no, I'm already in. I'm going blind. Brief intro to the situation. My daughter is 22. Oh, wait a minute. That changes.

I was going to be like, she's seven. She has a steady but starter job in her preferred field, rents her own place. I'm very proud of her. She's always been a great kid. She came back home with us for the holidays, and I noticed she reads a lot. She works from home, and whenever she has breaks in between work calls,

she reads. She reads before going to sleep. She reads on weekends. She reads on car rides. She spends pretty much all of her free time reading. The horror. This bitch. She always loves reading.

She's always loved reading, but she's doing it too much recently. And it's all fiction novels. Not one book. Is she reading books on how to build a bomb? Not a book for one of her university studies. She's a one-time dropout, trying for a second time now. I get that it's her hobby, but it's basically wasting her time. I've told her

multiple times to waste less of her time, but she always shrugs it off. Yesterday, I was driving her somewhere, and we were chatting in the car, and the topic of books came up. She started talking about a fantasy mystery novel, her favorite drama. She's reading her favorite genre. She's reading and how she basically blah, blah, blah.

I tried not to say anything at first, but she was so excited over it, and I didn't want to ruin her excitement, but I then sort of needed to realize I needed to intervene. I started talking to her about how she needs to read less and focus on university more. She tried to change the topic.

I pointed out that instead of reading a billion novels each week, she could take half of that time and use it to study for university or anything else that's just not time thrown away, like a sport. The talk escalated a bit, and she got really upset, saying how reading is her only hobby she has time for. She used to have other hobbies like video games and gardening, but now she just reads. I'm not telling her to stop reading altogether.

I'm just telling her not to read so much. In the end, she's now upset. She doesn't want to talk to me. Her dad thinks I shouldn't be interfering with what she spends her time on. The mom! This is crazy. The goal! This is crazy.

I thought it was the mom from the jump. You thought it was the dad? Oh, I thought it was the dad for sure. Now, this sounds like a mom-daughter thing where it's like they're just fucking horrible to each other but um this is like the fucking plot of matilda this is crazy this is downright insane she said she told the girl stop wasting your time go play women's hockey in garden what the fuck is that and fucking fucking play the rose bush i mean mean, that is, this is horrendous. Oh, what are you, expanding your mind?

Learning new words? Right. Useless. You and your enjoying creative stories. Like, what the fuck? I mean, it's flabbergasting. I also kind of get it. I was going to say, I kind of like it.

I get it. You know what it is, I kind of like it. I get it. You know what it is, too? You know what it is? You and your books in my face all the time. Well, that's the problem. You want to read, you go in your fucking room. If we got in the car together and we were driving somewhere and you pulled out a book and started reading, I'd be like, fuck off, dude, with your book. Dude, I...

You and your fancy literacy. If you're in a car with somebody, we're on this journey together. Right. We maybe put some music on. We don't have to talk, but like, we do this together. This is us.

Yeah. I had a friend in high school. We drove him all over the place. No, we'd jump in the car and put in headphones. Oh, that's crazy.

And he'd fall asleep. Shotgun. Ryan, shotgun. How long? Just the two of us. Like road trips? Pat,

I'm talking about you. No, like road trips? Or like, you know, driving. Yeah, he's an idiot. Yeah, he's an idiot.

Yeah, he's an asshole. Every time he'd just get it, he'd put it in a pair of headphones, fall asleep. But just like we're driving across town to G-Man's house. Anywhere. Headphones are knocked out. Anywhere. Anytime you go to the car. You know what you should do is open the door and push him out.

I would do like some stop shorts sometimes. Yeah, yeah. You got to do like the, ah! You scream, you make them think they're going to crash and die. That's ridiculous. But like book reading, my dad does this bullshit. My dad will read a book while I'm watching a game, and then I will feel the responsibility to turn the TV down and not be loud

because he's sitting by the fire reading. Guess what, motherfucker? You can read elsewhere. Go lay in bed like Emily Dickinson and read. Yeah, yeah. That's where you do your reading. Right, like, you can't flaunt your reading in front of people. No, it is. Especially because you know a lot of people, when they do read, are thinking, like, I'm That's where you do your reading. You can't flaunt your reading in front of people.

Especially because you know a lot of people, when they do read, are thinking, like, I'm better than you because I'm reading. Some people just read, but other people read because they think, you know. Masturbating, pooping, and reading. Things to be done behind closed doors. It's like a son of a bitch who reads on the subway. What do you think you're doing? You're going to read three pages. How about when people, yeah,

you're on the fucking local, dude. You're going to like three fucking streets. You're going to get fucking motion sickness, and then you're doing. You're going to read three pages. How about when people... Yeah, you're on the fucking local, dude. You're going to three fucking streets. You're going to get fucking motion sickness, and then you're going to fucking get a page and a half. You're just being a piece of shit right now. How about back in the day when people used to read goddamn newspapers? They would put up a fucking

billboard. That's how manspreading started. Women weren't allowed to buy newspapers, of course. Naturally. Naturally. I mean, that reading. You know what? Great idea that you come back. No newspapers, all women talky. I kind of come around on this, though. Fuck this daughter.

Fuck her and her reading. You bitch. Stop your fucking reading and go garden. Alright, voicemail time. It's brought to you by The Zebra. The Zebra can save americans over uh have saved americans over one billion dollars on car insurance a b with a capital b billion billion uh because they what they do is they take all of the leading car insurance quotes and they put it all together in one easy to read place for you so you can pick the most affordable and most effective plan for you it's the only place you can compare quotes side by side from over a hundred providers it's basically like doing kayak or price line

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on average when you go to TheZebra.com. Answer a few quick questions, a fast form, find out the best rates and coverage in your state, and it feeds you all the best plans in one spot. Go to thezebra.com slash KFC. That's T-H-E-Z-E-B-R-A dot com slash KFC and start saving today. Yo, KFC Spice, what's going on? My girlfriend and I got into a debate today about what was the greatest secondary food that you can add to a meal that makes it better. An accoutrement, a garnish, per se.

My answer was cheese because I was just like, cheese makes fucking everything better. There's no arguing cheese she said salt and pepper which I told her was two items but I reluctantly let that one go

because I was going to get my ass kicked if I didn't but to address the question what is the greatest garnish, the greatest accoutrement, the greatest addition to food? Fuck the actual food. What are you putting on? This is tough because it's not like a condiment.

It's not like a sauce, really. I mean, I guess it could be if that's your answer. But I feel like him going with cheese is a clear indicator of what he's talking about here. It's the most important thing? Just the best addition to. Makes the food better. And the most, I mean, he might be right.

I mean. He really is probably right. Melted cheese, grated cheese, you know, a cheese spread. Cheese is almost cheating. I know, that's the thing. Like, salt and pepper can go fucking suck a dick. Wow. That's, you know, we're white, so we don't season anything. I do a lot of pepper.

I don't do salt. I do salt. I don't do a lot of pepper. Missing out. You're missing out. I would say buffalo. Buffalo, you can't. Yeah, no, you can say whatever you want.

I mean, this sounds very open-ended. It's like if you want to make an economy, you want to make it inside. But there's a reason to say cheese or a blowjob. There's nothing else. Why is buffalo a blowjob? No. Because cheese, as always, it rules out pizza. You lose buffalo.

I mean, I guess you lose wings, but not really. You can do barbecue wings. You can do Caribbean jerk wings. You can do other wings. And you lose entire foods because of something. That's when it goes toe-to-toe with blowjob, I feel like. Yeah. Yeah.

So anything but cheese. Goat cheese. Well, that's goat cheese well that's goat cheese that's definitely i mean the fact that you thought that was going to be a different answer i i my eyes lit up yeah i got it goat cheese you know what you know what's better than cheese mozzarella you know what i think should be a bit of a what's describing. Jalapenos. I mean, it's okay. Jalapenos are delicious. Yeah, but like how many things you put it on? Everything.

Really? Everything. I put jalapenos on everything. Really? Domino's pizza? Jalapeno. Salad? Jalapeno.

Sandwich? Jalapeno. You know what I think should become? Candy? An addition. No jalapeno. To food, to other meals. Almost, I want to like spread it on go cheese mashed potatoes like if you have have you ever had a chicken colored sandwich you put mashed potatoes on it i i don't think so i'm not against it like it is so fucking good i think like

when i eat steak i usually kind of like almost, I almost like dip it in my mashed potatoes. I don't like people who do that. Don't respect you. Don't disrespect the steak. Oh, fuck. When are you one of those guys? I'm a masher. I'm a masher.

Most plates I get. Since when are you a steak respecter guy? I think since I started making my own steaks. Ugh. Yeah. No, it's gross. I agree. It's deplorable.

That is a horrible trait to have. Don't let that develop. Snuff that out now. It is like, I'm like, this steak is so good, I don't want any mashed potatoes. I like mashed potatoes just alone. Everything. I like mashed potatoes on a Thanksgiving sandwich. Sure.

Look, I'd love to try this. I'm not against this. When you do a Thanksgiving turkey sandwich, kind of put the mashed potatoes in there as an addition. Do it with your steak. Do it on chicken cutlet. You get a chicken cutlet with melted cheese of any kind. You put like a smearing almost like cream cheese of – oh, cream cheese is a good answer. It's not very versatile, but it's like it makes bagels.

It makes like – cream cheese is important. It's not very – Kevin, you're doing what I did. Cream cheese is not cheese. It's not very versatile, but it's like it makes bagels. It makes like cream cheese is important. It's not very. Kevin, you're doing what I did. Cream cheese is not cheese. It's not. No, it's not. It's different. Cream cheese is different from like a melted cheese.

Well, goat cheese is different than a melted cheese. Cream cheese is actually very much like cream cheese. So you should have made that argument. What? Cream cheese is a lot like cream cheese. Goat cheese is a lot like cream cheese. Okay, okay. He said the second. When he said that, I was like, oh, I'm not going crazy. He did say cream cheese is a lot like cream cheese. Goat cheese is a lot like cream cheese. Okay, okay. He said the second thing, I was like, oh, I'm not going crazy.

He did say cream cheese is a lot like cream cheese. Cream cheese is exactly like cream cheese. I'll give you that. I think cream cheese might be my answer there. But cream cheese you only put on bagels. Right, but that's so important. It is. You know?

It is. And we should start putting cream cheese on more things, I think. I used to get cream cheese on toast. Yeah, cream cheese on toast is great. Cream cheese and jelly on toast. Yeah, yeah, that's exactly right. When I was a kid, my mom used to make cream cheese and jelly sandwiches. And I just liked the cream cheese.

Like, I didn't want the jelly. So she started just making me cream cheese sandwiches. She used to try to sneak the jelly in, and I'd be like, I don't want the jelly, I just want the cream cheese. You ever had a ketchup sandwich? That doesn't sound... No, I have not. Just straight bread and ketchup?

Nah. Like a tortilla and ketchup? What? Oh, that's like a... Yeah that's like a gross thing, right? It's like when you eat a chicken on a period or something like that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was Ronnie.

Shout out Ronnie, follower of Abbas. Ronnie used to have ketchup sandwiches from his wife all the time. I just didn't need that. I was like 16 years old. This 50-year-old man would come to work. He's going, nah. Fight. Now he's going to be fit.

50. Had a ketchup sandwich for dinner last night. That's where I absolutely. Darlene had the fucking dickiest ketchup. Oh, my God. He was a lunatic. He's so dead. He's definitely dead right now.

Definitely. Hopefully. He would stand up on piles of trash. Like, honestly, literally exactly like Charlie and Frank when they start becoming hoarders. Like, he would stand up on – because my job was just to move trash. And he would stand on piles of trash and just, like, throw things. The fact that he might be I am growing stronger

With the fucking Power to get the sandwich Ronnie and you'll know Guess what Ronnie's last name was I can't even You're not going to believe me when I tell you I swear to God Blood

Well in that case I kind of understand I can't even. You're not going to believe me when I tell you. No. I swear to God it's true. No. Blood. Well, in that case, I kind of understand that. That guy's got a brand. You know, he can't be Ronnie Blood and not just dabble in blood. He's probably like an Armie Hammer type. I worked with the fucking wildest people. Like, I was, no, I was probably 17. I think I was a junior in high school. I was probably, I think I was 16 then.

But I would work with Ronnie Blood, and I would work with this other fucking little Portuguese guy who didn't speak a lick of English we had to get to work early, we worked out on the docks we had to get there at 7am he would get to work at 5am every morning and just fucking crush a bottle of what's the Rossi the cheap wine

Carlo Rossi and he would just leave it out he would just throw it out his window in his car there's just a pile of shattered glass from carlo rossi fucking like just get there early to get drunk for work at five o'clock in the morning it's a miracle you're even you know you're not normal but like you should be even worse than you are you know you got the rapist in the woods you got the ronnie bloods i kind of want to call my buddy who worked with me and just be like you guys gotta tell him about ronnie blood he used to fucking talk about fucking his wife i think his name was dalene dalene made a squeal like a pig all right we're absolutely we're absolutely moving on to the next

voicemail jesus christ i was waiting for that to end, and it just wasn't going to. It was going to go down the whole family tree at some point. I'm just going to keep hearing Ronnie Bloodstorch. No, play the next fucking voicemail. She looked like Elvira. She had the white stripe down her hair. I met her. I met the woman whose next voicemail.

Yes. For the love of God. KFC fights was going on. Got a little dilemma for you so me and my girlfriend decided to move in together uh during quarantine uh we live you know we lived in different cities so like we thought this would be a good time that you know living with each other and so it hasn't been going great all the time uh still still very much love each other you know i met her parents she met my parents everybody loves everybody's fine but i think we're just a little too on top of each other and like we never really leave the apartment because it's quarantine and also like you know she moved to my city so like she doesn't really know anybody out here

and i think we just need to kind of we're too on top of each other we need a little bit of space so basically what i'm getting to is how do I tell my girlfriend nicely that she needs to get the fuck out of my house? Love the show. Would love to invite you. Peace. See ya. Bro, I mean, I knew where that voice was ending, and still I was surprised when we got there. Yeah.

Like, it was. Well, here's the thing, though. I mean, you don't. You get out. He's just got to, like, be the one to leave. Give him space. But it's his apartment, isn't it? Yeah, but I mean, like, he wants her to, like, sleep elsewhere, like, move out, kind of?

Or, like, he just needs... Oh, he said when I... How do I tell her to get the fuck out of the house? I thought he meant, like... Kick her out? We're done. Like, we're not... Oh, I mean, so are we talking about a breakup?

Or are we talking about... No, because he's like, we still love other we met you know many of his parents and shit i think he's talking about just like getting space oh because if he's just talking about breaking up it's like i don't know man just fucking you have to break up with the girl but i think if you're trying if you need space because here's here's what i would hope would happen i think if i said something like like if i was supposed to be home or something right and she's like where are you you going to eat for dinner? And I'm like, you know what?

I'm just like I'm going for a walk. I think I'm just going to eat like dinner alone because I need some space tonight. This is not something I would ever do, by the way. I'm way too much of a pussy to do that. What I would do is just live my overbearing life until it festers and explodes. But if I said that and explained like I am – I need some space, so I am going to – you can stay at home and you can have the house and all that, but I'm going to go give space. I would hope that she would then be like, oh, okay, now I need to make an effort to give him some space sometime so that next time she'll stay out or whatever. Yeah, I mean I guess you could do all that or – I mean how do you make someone do anything?

You just subtly belittle their life choices until they... You're here again, huh? Until they get in their own head about it and fix the problem. Here you are, living in the apartment again. Have you not heard of manipulation, bro? Looks like you came home after work again. Do you not know how to have a toxic relationship, you fucking idiot? Oh, wow.

You woke up in our bed again. Seven days in a row here, huh? When was the last time you went outside? Do you know what the weather's like outside? You should go for a walk. Do you ever do anything with your friends anymore? Yeah. Boy, you don't work at all, huh?

You're just always home. Don't you miss your friends? You should. What about you haven't gone on a, huh? You're just always home. Don't you miss your friends? You should. What about, you haven't gone on a girls weekend in forever. My God. Do you even have friends anymore? Same shirt you were wearing yesterday, huh? Interesting.

That makes sense. I guess if you haven't gone outside, there's no reason to change, is there? Hair's looking a little greasy. No shower? Yeah, I haven't been outside. Okay. Delivery, again. Yeah.

You didn't even, you can't even go to the store, can you? Oh, it's just another Domino's. Interesting. No jalapenos on it, is there? You're going to be fat, too. Not for me, wasn't it? Not only are you always here, but you're going to be fat in here. Even better.

How about, oh, look what I got you. A nice pair of running shoes. Here is a... Bro, I can do this in my sleep! I got you a nice pair of running shoes here is a bro i could do this in my sleep i i got you a present it's a ticket for one to this event get the fuck out and go to it you know that you know that team you love here like go go to that game look how i flew out for the weekend it's your parents got him a hotel room too wouldn't it be fun to stay with them this is easy how about that how about how about you just go get a hotel? Every Wednesday night

you're in a hotel. I'm not cheating on you, bitch. I just can't stand you. That is... Just delaying a breakup is all. That's really what's happening here, by the way. These two are not going to last. Yeah, I mean... We still love each other. We met our parents.

If the second reason you're staying together is because you've met each other's parents, sheesh. Not a good idea. No, this is doomed. From Jump Street, this was doomed. Let's move in together because it's the pandemic. We're in different cities, but now we can live together. You are fucked.

Yeah, global pandemics don't really. It's as fucking Sandra Bullock told Keanu Reeves in Speed, relationships that are built during a stressful time never last. Did you just watch Speed? No, I just remembered that. What the fuck? I got a weird thing. I just remembered weird things. You got that on deck, but it's right.

Yeah. When you're born out of trauma, you have a traumatic relationship. So guess what? Pandemic, not the best time to move in. Probably true. Probably true. Probably true. Says the guy who moved in during a pandemic. I wasn't going to point it out.

I wasn't going to point it out. It's if you start dating in pandemic and move in. I feel like it's a problem. Yeah, that's fine. You know what you could do, though, is you just open up a nice bottle of the stag. Because, first of all, a few things are going to happen. Number one, if you need to have this conversation, it's much easier to have a couple drinks first.

Number one, John's going to get horny because that's what happens. Well, that's what I was going to say. I get red wine. You have some red wine in you and your girl, and next thing you know, you're not looking for separation. You're looking to fuck. Looking to connect. Jesus Christ, I'm so happy this is the last voicemail.

Do you know who that is? Yes, it's one of those bad boy bands, right? Wrong! When two become one. One of those great... What is it, boy band? Girl band. Girl band, when two become one.

Cause tonight is the night when two become one. Who is it? Because tonight is the night. When do we come one? Who is it? The Spice Girls. I was going to say, the only girl band I know is... A little bit like them. Not even close.

I don't even know those are the core words. Can you imagine living with him? That was your girl with a voice changer. How do I tell Fuddleburg to get the fuck out of their house? But yeah, you open up some wine and one thing leads to another. And next thing you know, you're not in a bad relationship. You're in a good relationship. Or it gives you the confidence to speak your mind.

Or you go on an adventure together. The stag is all about living life and enjoying it and finding that adventure, finding some energy, go beyond what's expected and go, uh, go to that next level. So maybe you both get out of the house and you go do some crazy shit. We all could enjoy a little bit of a little curve ball here, a little,

a little something extra because we're all just sitting around and doing nothing, living inside. So you break open the stag, you get some ideas and you just let it rip. No regrets, no hesitation. Just go live life and start with

opening a bottle of saint hubert's the stag follow along on social media go to at saint hubert's st hubert's the stag dot u dash s on instagram and facebook check out your local wine aisle to pick it up today they're the sponsor of the x games 2021 of course you got to be over 21 to enjoy responsibly but enjoy it and start the adventure today. It's St. Hubert's The Stag on Instagram and Facebook. Last one, what do we got? What's going on, KFC? Fights, Super Producer, BC, Nick, Jackie.

So I figured this is the right avenue to go down for this question. This was, you know, masturbating and thought about, you know, post nut clarity, like just how severe it is and how clear the picture becomes directly after it. Is there anything else that even remotely compares to post nut clarity? Almost like,

you know, there's like Joe from Arrested Development. I made a giant mistake. Is there anything that even remotely comes close? Let me know, guys. Viva. That's a good question. I feel like horrific news.

You know, like when you get sobering news and it can literally sober you up. I feel like that brings things into focus pretty quick. So it's like either you jerk off or you find out that like your mother died. Yeah, that'll do it. I was going to go a slightly different direction. I was going to go with cocaine and driving separately. It's like, wow, that sounds dangerous. Yeah, when you drive, you kind of get that.

You zone out and kind of like... Driving is very sobering. If you drive hungover, when you're done, you're not going to be hungover. That's not true. Yes, it is. No, it's not. Yes, it is. No, it's absolutely not.

Zach is furious at that answer. No. But I... You can't... John can never talk about hangovers. He's always wrong about hangovers. You don't have normal hangover experiences. You're on an island. You don't have hangovers. You don't have normal hangover experiences. You're on an island.

You don't have hangovers. I don't have normal experiences. I experience everything. Maybe I'm dead. I don't ever have hangovers because you're fucking dead. I feel like whenever I drive, because you have to think. It's like, you know what? Oh, God, I thought of a great invention.

It's a person who sits in your room. And does? And when you wake up hungover, you have a conversation with them. Because that's all I need. I need, it's like, okay, hang on, hang on, don't do it, don't do it. I'm going to land this fucking plane, baby. Okay, you know in a prop plane when you got to spin the propeller, and then that kind of jump starts it and gets it going?

That's what my brain's like when it's hung over. I just need to have a conversation. I need a little bit of something to get the juices going. If I woke up in the morning and there was a person just sitting on a chair staring at me like, we have to talk now while you're hung over, I would kill that person and then myself. That's all I need. Just a little. And then I'm gone. That actually is a good description of you and your existence.

It does sound like it's a noisy, loud, meager prop plane that's just like, it's like we might crash. Every single day of your life is like a propeller plane flight where it's like, this is dangerous. We are puddle jumping and we might crash into the puddle. It's like, yeah, it's a prop plane that Kevin Hart is flying. Like, he probably knows what he's doing. He's been on a lot of planes, but he's not an expert at it.

This is, this is, you have not landed this plane. This plane is just soaring off. The fucking, no, the fucking, the propeller part landed it. We've gone on, we kind of bounced the landing a bit. But that's what a brain needs when it's hung over it's got it's got to do some thinking some processing and then it's like okay we're we're going we're going but i guess this isn't even just hung over too though this is just like when you have conversations you get clarity no you know wait what like it's just this question was not specifically about hangovers this was

just about like having clarity yeah but no it's the driving the car gives the clarity. Right. Okay. By the way, I'm calling my shot right now. I will die behind the wheel from falling asleep. Yeah? That's a guarantee. Guarantee.

As I'm getting older, I find myself... I find driving, if I'm alone, even if you're in the car, you shouldn't drive with me. I feel like it's very, like, soothing almost. Like, you're eating up miles, you know, and I am just like, mmm. Like, I have for sure dozed off, like, hundreds of times at the wheel. Where, like, I go probably, like, 1.75 seconds where I'm, like, asleep. And I'm just, like, I look at everyone in the wheel where like i i go probably like 1.75 seconds where i'm like asleep and then i'm just i'm like i look at everyone in the car like that is so many seconds anybody no yeah it's like a solid two like and i'm like get back in the lane you're really in the nba ref mode yeah

kevin can't count was just waving his arms like a fucking flight. I did it last time, too. That's what it was. Tom Brady kissing his kid. I did the... Oh, yeah, yeah. But, yeah, like, I... And that, you know, I'm 30-something. Like, when I'm 50, 60, that's when I should take away your license.

I will die at the age of 68 falling asleep behind the wheel. That's a long time. Glad you had, you made your life though. And the podcast. I've got some issues that nobody can see. And all of these emotions are pouring out of me. I bring them to the life.

It's only right. Out of me Uh-huh. Yeah. Uh-huh. Yeah. Uh-huh. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.