KFC Radio - We're Crashing Out + Annie Lederman Interview

Episode Date: March 4, 2025

Timecodes: 0:00 Start 01:30 KFC vs Jackie 1v1 Basketball 04:00 Kyle Kuzma Sweater: https://www.gq.com/story/kyle-kuzma-big-pink-sweater 04:44 Lenny Kravitz Scarf: https://www.vogue.com/article/lenny-kravitz-giant-scarf-tiktok 08:27 Jackie's Vlogs 12:17 Kevin's trading cards 18:37 Rico's C@nnibal Ryder 20:31 We're Crashing Out 25:50 Can't spell "happiness" without... 30:29 Gene Hackman's mysterious death 42:34 Oscars Recap (Timothee Chalamet, Conan O'Brien, kieran culkin, etc) 01:11:42 Annie Lederman Interview +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Jackpocket: GAMBLING PROBLEM? CALL 1-800-GAMBLER, in NY Call 877-8-HOPENY or text HOPENY. 18 or older (19+ in Nebraska, 21+ in Arizona). Jackpocket is not affiliated with any state lottery. Scratchers subject to availability and not available everywhere. Void where prohibited. 1 per new customer. Enter promo code at checkout for $2 non-withdrawable credit valid for draw-based games.. Promo code expires on 12/31/25 at 11:59 PM ET. Terms: jackpocket.com/tos/free-ticket-promo/. Sponsored by Jackpocket. Scratch tickets subject to availability. Based on 2024 iOS download data collected by Sensor Tower. Evan Williams: Visit https://EvanWilliams.com to find a bottle near you. Netflix: Watch Love is Blind Season 8, now playing only on Netflix and don’t miss the weddings finale Friday March 7th Omaha Steaks: Visit https://OmahaSteaks.com for 50% off sitewide and for an extra $30 off, use Promo Code KFCRADIO at checkout. BlueChew: Try your first month of BlueChew FREE. Visit https://BlueChew.com for more details and important safety information, and we thank BlueChew for sponsoring the podcast.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

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18 or older. 19 or older in Nebraska. 21 or older in Arizona. Jackpocket is not affiliated with any state lottery. Scratchers and offer only available in Arizona, Colorado, Massachusetts, Ohio, or Oregon. Void where prohibited. New customers only. Promo code required for $5 non-withdrawable credit valid only for scratcher games. It's another edition of KFC Radio on the Barstool Sports Network. Another week here. We're about to, me and Jackie are about to have a big time showdown in Roan's one-on-one-to-one first round matchup.

Four seed versus the 13 seed. I don't know how I got a four seed. I don't know how, like I think it's kind of crazy that he just assumed. So you think that he just took one look at you and said, this is a girl, she's a 13th seed. I think Rico handled all the seeding. I was going to say, it's not yet. So if you have your beef, pick it up with Rico.

It doesn't make any kind of difference. Still just as offensive. So you're saying you're deserving of a higher seed. What seed do you think you should be? No, I'm not saying. No, no, no. What seed do you think you should be? No, I'm saying I should probably be 13th seed, maybe even less.

But they don't know that. Rico shouldn't know that. But see, I think you're making it too much about yourself. They just know 12 players ahead of you are better. No, they know I'm a woman. Were you the highest ranked woman? No. No, no, no.

Mubi and Kelly are 9 and 8. Wait, hold on. I know Mubi and Kelly are 9 and 8. Not only did they look at you and say you're a woman They said here's the women Worst Round mountain to rebound You

I think were the worst Maybe Kelly Keyes is lower than you I think Kelly Keyes Let's not forget That I crossed you up I guess Guys we did already do it. You did not cross me up.

I kind of crossed you up. Check the tapes. You'll have to watch and see what happens. It was like a definite fake out. Like you would definitely at one point be like, oh. I hope that's not true. I hope that part's not true. I will say the funniest part of the whole thing, no spoilers,

but Kelly Keegs was playing and Roan said, check the ball. And Kelly... Sorry about that. I didn't know that. I checked it. It's good.

So fucking good. And that's why women are in the 13th season. Yeah. I didn't like do... None of the women did a good job of like holding our ground. It's a great idea. One on one to one.

Anybody can win. All it takes is a lucky shot, you know, and me and Jackie have a little side bet going. Loser has to wear the Kyle Kuzma sweater on the podcast for a month. Kyle Kuzma famously wore his long, ridiculous pink cable knit sweater. So someone's going to have to be wearing that for a few episodes. I almost hope I lose so I can like, you know, it's like I don't have to think about what I'm wearing. I'm wearing a top.

I feel like I already wear like the baggiest clothes imaginable. Yeah, we just need to slap like a piece of meat on there and then you're good. Then it's your personal style. Yeah, exactly. I looked up while I was trying to find that for this bet i looked into buying the lenny kravitz scarf because those two things go hand in hand the lenny kravitz scarf is maybe my favorite thing ever like it's really if i had to make a short list of blog moments that like took my breath away and i was like texting my friends and we

still talk about it this today like Like we call it the LKS. Like it's an abbreviation in my world. Everybody knows what LKS means. It is so goddamn funny. And so I looked into buying it. They make like versions of it on Etsy and shit. And I guess this makes sense. Because it's a billion feet of fabric.

It's like $500. Really? Actually no. Now that I say that. It's like if you buy a blanket. It's not $500. You buy like a nice cashmere scarf. I guess if it is like 500 really actually no now that i say that it's like if you buy a blanket it's not 500 so you buy like a nice cashmere scarf i guess if it is like cashmere and it's like that much yeah i just wanted like but like it's basically like an afghan yeah blanket just wrapped around your neck it is so ridiculous like now it's a thing so if you see someone wearing it

or he wears it again it's like oh that's a lenny kravitz scarf but there was a day that he just put that on for the first time it was like i'm wearing my scarf what the fuck is that like i think that is i think it's a blanket i don't think it is a scarf i think he was like it's cold today and i don't have like my heavy jacket i'm just gonna wear this blanket it's the best and uh some people, myself included, I remember saying, like, there's been other ridiculous fashion things before. But when Kyle Kuzma stepped out, a lot of people instantly were like, that's like Lenny Kravitz 2.0. It's not. It's a distant second. But it is second place, the Kyle Kuzma sweater.

I don't know if you guys care about this, but I'm going to do something crazy and I want you guys to be prepared. I'm going to get white boat shoes because they kind of look like sneakers. Yeah. That's no, but like nobody, nobody's, nobody's doing it. And it's like,

I'm going to, I'm going to do it and like have it kind of be an alternative to sneakers, but like slightly elevated. And, and I think it's going to be in style. And I'm not normally one to like, I think I'm going to be the one to set the trend. I don't think white boys, I guess they are. I don't see them often, but like, I don't think that's something you have to give people a warning for.

I feel like chicks don't really wear them though, right? Because it's like boat shoes already like are, they were out now. I think they're going to come back in style well so are and like so if i got the brown ones that just goes okay brown like those ones are coming back inside white boat shoes though that's a little crazy that's kind of like oh hi are you gonna wear it with your meat sweatshirts or your usual like cat burglar outfits or are we dressing this up i have not worn a meat sweatshirt in you you a week or two it's been it's been a long time it has not it's I think it's been a long time. It has not.

I think you're actively choosing to not wear it. This is not true. You wore something recently because I remember saying like, oh, the brand's still strong. The brand is alive. I don't think I even own

any more meat sweatshirts. This is a lie. This is a lie. That's what you're going to wear, by the way? Is that a good example? Yeah. Honestly, the Del Toro's ones

are like the ones that... We are a Del Toro family around here. That like... Are you... Is this for like the summer or like right now? Yeah, this is just for like... Like I need new sneakers, but I don't want to get another pair of sneakers. Like I feel like I need to step it up.

And I feel like this is going to be a good... The white boat shoes it is. I can still wear like the sneaker kind of look. Yeah. But... I guess maybe it's a rhode island thing but like that's for sure yeah yeah yeah out of i mean i definitely think it's a preppy you know white people thing yeah yeah but like if i saw a girl wearing wearing white boat shoes i

would be like you're a prep like you're a really you're you're like a cake eater you know no i'm gonna make them cool though. I fully support that. Anyways, I just want to give you guys a hefty warning. It's not going to be like a vlog episode? No, it's going to be like a casual rollout. So you're not even going to know. But then you're just going to look around and there's going to be white butt shoes around you

and you're going to be like, Jackie. Jackie. We're going to call her Jackie. She's wearing the Jackies yeah uh vlog life is how's it going um it's fine it's good it's great i think jackie's gonna be so famous no i okay although i will say i just edited the snowboarding footage i don't know what i've been doing fucking around editing podcasts this whole time it's i did such a good job with that really like yeah but also yeah it turns out when you have like I don't know what I've been doing fucking around editing podcasts this whole time. It's,

I did such a good job with that. Really? Yeah. But also, yeah, it turns out when you have like cool people, like flying through the air, cool shit,

it's a lot more fun than doing dickheads just sitting on a fucking couch. You guys have to be doing more skateboarding flips on the podcast. I promise I will give it the stick at it. Yeah. Like, yeah, I'm sure you put music and. Yeah. Yeah.

And I took so much Adderall the other day that I was editing it. And it was just like, I went sure you put music and yeah yeah and i took so much adderall the other day that i was editing it and it was just like i went kind of crazy and i had to peel it back because then i started doing like then i started doing kind of like weird like 3d edits like glitch edits and i was kind of like all right we're losing the plot anyways but um i when's the next one come out I I was gonna finish it I'm not gonna have time to do it today I don't know if I'm

gonna have time to do it tomorrow so probably you know it's good when Jackie is confident enough to say it's good Jackie is always hedging her bad

or saying she's bad or you know self-deprecating so she's like it's sick watch this it actually sucks I want to be clear

like the rest of everything around it is kind of like I don don't love it, but I can't just put out the footage, the raw footage. So I have to kind of like do other stuff. But I also feel like it's kind of like, I don't know. No, the people want Jackie. The people want more Jackie. The Jacked Up Vlog is...

When did you guys see the snowboarding footage? Well, I'm never going to see it. You're never going to see it because you guys are banned. Yeah, stop. I saw it. When you told me to stop, I stopped. I know, I know. Well, I'm never going to see it. You're never going to see it because you guys are banned. Yeah, stop. I saw it. When you told me to stop, I stopped. I know, I know. And then I trust you.

You guys, when I said stop looking at my Instagram, you guys stopped looking at my Instagram. I did, but I have not stopped watching the blog. It is very sweet, but stop. No, no. You guys can watch the snowboarding. Actually, I lied. I don't watch. I watch, like, I get a clip.

I'm like, okay, that was like a 50 second clip that I can post on my Instagram. And then I stopped. Okay. That's well, that's okay. I guess like last night, you're going to watch, just watch one thing.

The last one I watched in Toto was you being hung over. Here's the thing. Here's the thing. It's like, I, I'm just going to post, throw everything at the wall. I don't have a groove yet.

I don't have a groove yet, but we'll get it. But that that's what i mean like you're still so early on and it's performing so well thanks and also you just have this you just live in this spot of like you're like a girl i hate the phrase girls girl so i don't want to say that but like you kind of are that but not in like a way that like but guys like you girls like you you have this producer job now you're kind of on camera you're good enough on camera but you can still do the behind the scenes stuff i don't know it's a good spot to be i can see you being really famous wow thanks but you have to you have to do it and then but then you haven't seen any of it so it might suck the problem the problem is it's not a problem but it's like a delicate balance of like what makes you charming is that you always think

you're bad or not doing it well or you're nervous or whatever but then but you also have to be confident that's actually not helpful yeah if you if you're confident, you're probably not going to be good. Yeah, exactly. Now it's like, all right, now I'm in a weird... If you were to get as famous as I think you got and started to act that way, I would stop liking you. Well, that's the goal. So you can get famous and just don't be a fucking dick. Again, it's like the riffraff, like, I hope I blow up and act like I don't know nobody. That's the goal. Yeah, that is the goal.

That is the goal. What you're saying is going to be a bad thing is what I'm aiming for. If you all of a sudden are like, Jackie sucks, you know that I made it. There will be signs. There will be signs.

Thank you. Do you think you'll ever get people mailing you for your autograph? Oh, is this the guy? This is my favorite thing. The early guy? This is my favorite thing that ever happens to me. And it does not happen much anymore.

I have not gotten one in years. But way back when, when we made trading cards. Whoa. Is it the same guy or these different people? No, these are different people. Whoa. These are all people who, oh, this one, this guy said, hey, I'm a huge fan of Barstool and KFC radio.

That might be a lie. I don't know if I believe him yeah a lot well because some people are fans and other people are just collectors and i've gotten letters before being like i don't know who you are i don't know what this is but i need to collect the set so can you please sign this and i respect that respect the honesty yeah so i sign it and they are always very they're cool they always send me. It's all pre-addressed. And so I just slide it back in. But it makes me feel very cool. Yeah. Every time.

In the beginning, it used to happen a lot. I'd open up my mail, and there'd be like 20 envelopes. And I was like, hey, I need an autograph session. So I'm going to need 20 minutes. Now it's like these are probably 10 years old by now. What do you get when you collect all of them? Some people probably sell them. Some people probably sell them. Some people just collect them.

There's not like a prize at the end. There were ones that came already autographed. Like that one, we went to Allen and Ginter and we sat down and they set aside like 100 to sign. So you could open up a pack and already have the autograph. But then the people who just get the regular ones sent it to me to sign. You know open up a pack and already have like the autograph but then the people who just get the regular ones send it to me to sign you know what i mean yeah but the thought that like there's there's somebody i remember collectible people uh like chiming in being like who the fuck are these guys because this is called their i think it's called their personalities

yeah personality so it's like a whole set of people who are not baseball players, but they're probably like actors and I think like more famous people. Yeah, I remember. I think Carabas got one recently or fairly recently. That makes sense. Your baseball tangential. What did you say? 42 bucks.

Hey, that's what they're asking. Should we make an offer? Can you go to sold? No, don't do that. What are you eating in it? A donut. At the time, I was wearing my Mets. Oh, and that was the other thing.

This was cool. They said bring a collectible, like something that you like, and we're going to cut it up and put it in there. So I brought one of my T-shirts from my original blog for sure not yeah but it was just a white t-shirt so when they cut it up and they put it in it's just a white right where dave brought a purple penny purple starfish so every piece you get has the purple starfish and i was thinking that they would like cut the logo or something but when you chop it up into a million pieces you just get a little i didn't i didn't think that that would be cool and then they made these little

ones so there was like the little tiny ones the regular size ones there was the autograph ones and then there was the collectible ones but I this was like this was probably 2013 I want to say and I was like

and to this day it's still one of the coolest things we ever did yeah like that was early on and I I think it was just that the dude who worked there was a Barstool fan and was like, we're going to get you guys in. Yeah, because it was early. Early.

Like, now it would make sense if Dave had a card or something. Look at that, $250? $499? $499. But nobody's buying these. These are what, can you click on sold? Because I bet you it's like $0.99. How do you do that?

Yeah, there you go. Some people are buying it for like $1.99. I always went for $50. Corrupted. Fucking corrupts. There are people who are like, I just need to complete this set. And so they're going to pay whatever for it. That's so crazy.

You should not do that. Not send it to him? Just fucking ruin the lives of some nerd. The only card he doesn't have signed. Rip it up in front of his face doesn't have signed. I got fucking Denzel. Kevin Clancy just won't sign my goddamn card.

That sweater is my Mets sweater from 1986. It's from back in the 80s. It's like knit World Series sweater. I thought this was weird. I mean, to each their own. But Dave dressed up like a baseball player.

I was like, you're not a baseball player, Dave. I mean, at the time, it was early on enough that we were still talking. Like, you know, he was still talking about fastest hands since the line of the Shields. And I played baseball and all that. But I was like, we're not baseball players, dude. But they wouldn't let me. The Mets, like, because of a logo thing they so they airbrushed it out so now i just was wearing a stupid sweater you're wearing it like

um one time my friends and i we i don't know why but we had a cardboard cutout of one of our guy friends or we we had we found a picture of one of our guy friends and like he was him and his friends were gonna come over to ours or whatever so we decided to like get cardboard cutouts of him and then all dress up as him i don't really know why i think this guy was fucking the man yeah i don't know why anyways he walks in and then instantly starts crying when he sees us and everything and like he had been wearing like a similar this guy's not the man he's wearing like a sweater um to cry that and so apparently he like almost killed a girl in that sweater on act not actually but like something about like oh that's my murder sweater

and it was just like major ptsd that's evidence wait what i i like it was fine like she was fine the girl like ended up staying alive but like apparently it was like he had to throw it away because there was so much blood on it like i i don't know what happened was it a car no it was like i don't remember the details of it we were kind of like we had pre-gamed and then we and then we just like could see it and then we didn't really want to ask it was kind of just like kill the vibe yeah hey cry baby this was gonna be fun yeah ruin the whole event we like took that like started to like hide the cardboard cutouts and like took off the sweaters it was just anyway so that is a funny thought to be like put away the balloons put away like all the other shit with the sweater

get rid of it get rid of it he's crying he's crying what if he possessed us to do this in the first place and then also also have it be the one photo that we shouldn't have used. Out of all of the friends. What are the chances of that? That's like Rico's biggest fan. Some dude who

killed his brother and ate his eyeball. And his last post on social media was the Rico rider symbol. Oh no way. I do not know about this. No, we just found out like an hour ago. Oh,

what? Like, like, like a horrifically gruesome cannibal murder. And the last thing he ever did probably on this earth on social media was post the bat signal. Rico rider are riders.

They're cannibals. That's a tough, tough thing. It's the Ryder. It's the Ryder. It's the Ryder. It's the Ryder. It's the Ryder. It's the Ryder. It's the Ryder. It's the Ryder. It's the Cannibals. That's a tough thing to happen to your fan base. For some reason, it's weird. Just one eyeball, too. You eat one eyeball, and I go, I wasn't as good as I thought. I've always said I really like our fan base. I think for the most part, fan base is pretty cool Yeah Like I I would not Worry about

Our fan Like You're never gonna hear I hope You're never gonna hear Some stories of like Caught that one What?

You're never gonna hear I hope you're never gonna hear I'm just saying that like When you hear about You know Barstool fans on the whole Like there's some douchebags Where it's like

Oh the Barstool fans are like Harassing someone again Or whatever I think within KFC Radio like that won't i would be surprised if that would i would think so yeah uh but if all of a sudden one of them murdered their brother and ate their eyeball i'd be like let's keep that on the low and i like to think kfc radio fans are like that because we don't dm them telling them to do it i was gonna say we don't rile up an army of people to if you were a fan of me, would you go harass this woman? It's kind of crazy how much we let that slide with him and Jerry and some of those people.

It's like, this is horrific what you do. But maybe we should. Maybe we should get more... Yeah, weaponize. I can see you being a weaponized person. Really? Yeah. Thank you so much.

No, not a compliment. Not a compliment. No, I can see you... I honestly cannot. I can see you... You would do that? No, I can see you. I honestly cannot. I can see you. You would do that? No, I wouldn't. But I think if I was mid-crash out.

No, you wouldn't. What does a Jackie crash out look like? Honestly, I think I'm kind of in the midst of one. Really? Yeah. Not like a full crash out, but we're inching. But not in a bad way. I think it's kind of a good crash out.

Sorry, what did you say? Inching. Inching towards it. You're inching towards it. I see. Okay. like not in a bad way. Like I think it's kind of a good graph. Sorry, what did you say? Inching. Inching towards it. You're inching towards it. I see. Okay. But not in a bad way. Like I think I'm really happy right now.

Yeah. But just like every once in a while I'll kind of be like, that's kind of crazy to me. Every once in a while you just have that little. You are aware of like your and most in general like female craziness. I think you're very like, oh, that was crazy. Oh, thanks. Well, yeah. like your and most in general like female craziness i think you're very like oh that was crazy like oh thanks well uh yeah well i i don't i just like i don't like it when i can like start to feel myself kind of like like i'll have moments yeah i'm kind of out of control here what like getting a little out of control here but like i kind of think it's good like sometimes it's healthy like the times when i do i'm with that like yeah, times you go. I get shit done. You ever drive in, like, 90, and you're like, oof, that was a little fast.

Yeah. That's fun. That's aggressive. Yeah. Yeah. By the way, I am always fascinated by, like, terminology. Like, everybody just started saying crash out. I love the term crash.

I actually love the term crash. I think it's my favorite thing to say. I say it 10 times a day. Yeah. Really? Yeah. So my point was going to be, like, I think initially a crash out was like, I killed my brother and ate his eyeball.

And now a crash out is like, I yelled at my boyfriend. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. A little bit too hard. I mean, that's how language works, right? I know. Once it gets so diluted. It's like, that word doesn't mean anything. I'm so fascinated by that.

Like, I tried to do it. I might have been with crash out. There was another phrase relatively recently i tried to like search google trends but like the the general search is not very you know i want like a paid search thing i bet you the term crash out you will see within you know from 2023 or 2024 or whatever just spikes up yeah yeah like and certain things just hit the lexicon and it's usually black people and like rappers and shit start saying stuff and then white people adopt it but it's like the ones

that really get adopted to the point that we will start saying it you know um it's true i'm just still like haven't been sleeping very well i've been like slightly snippy i'm like i'm crashing dude the google trends reminded me of the one of my favorite Twitter replies of all time was Chrissy Teigen was warring with whoever the right-wing conservative guy DeJuar was. He had a hot moment. I forget this guy's name, but he had a moment. There was some time where he was giving a speech. His fly was down. He was like just some fucking 23-year-old white kid.

Yeah. Whatever. And him and Chrissyris deacon going back and forth and he sent a google trend screenshot of like look how much more famous i am than you because his name was searched a lot more and she just replied that's everyone trying to find out who the fuck you are no people need to search me they know who chris is she she used to like she she ran shit on the other for a while i think i think it got a little too like the you know too tense and she kind of backed off but she used to fucking clap i feel like that happens to everyone anyone who has like the internet in a chokehold for a while you're gonna crash out pretty soon yeah like if you're the star of the internet. I don't like. That's like a. What do they say like in Vietnam?

In Nam, like a general's life expectancy was like 39 seconds. Like it's something like that. It's from the Tom Cruise, Tommy Lee Jones. What's the movie? You need me on that wall. Oh, Two Good Men. Two Good Men. It's from that. It's Tommy Lee Jones. It's Jack Nicholson. Jack on that wall. Oh, Two Good Men. Two Good Men. It's from that.

It's Jack Nicholson. Jack Nicholson. Yeah, yeah. Maybe it's not from that. It's either from that or a Denzel one. But it's like the line is like, I'll tell you if you can tell me what the life expectancy of someone of my ilk is. And they're like, it's 39 seconds. It's what you were supposed to survive in Vietnam.

When you go to a battle starts or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's what's being the most famous person on the internet. Yeah, you're not going to last. Dude, I hate going viral is like, no, no, no, no. I want no part of that, man. That's like the old tweet, the old adage. There's a main character of the internet every day.

You do not want to be it. But there is a phase where I think some people want to be it like if you're trying to make a name for yourself you're trying to do content if you're a regular person no but if you're like i want to be a vlogger i want to be a vlogger i want to be a podcast or whatever even as a content person i never wanted i never liked like obviously i was never like the focus of the internet internet's attention but i'd never really like to be in the focus of like barstool's attention oh just stay under the radar man i mean that's why these people who do these reality shows like these uh the love is blind guys it's just like your your your your life's gonna be a nightmare dude

of course your ex is gonna fucking crash out and like you know put you on blast and like what were you thinking signing up for this kind of shit staying off the radar is the name of the game yeah if you can somehow have like the success and the followers and the views but like there's a tension and then there's a tension you know what i mean yeah it's like yeah you all come and watch my my shit but you're not like digging up dirt on me that's what you want it's just like yeah we just watch those videos but we don't like care about anything beyond that that's that's the sweet spot you want to be um speaking of like word like whatever just like the term crash out and words we don't talk about enough that happiness has the word penis in it you got us there

well wait it's like you have to rearrange it right you can't you can't say happiness without saying penis it's like obviously it's not

spelled like that but like you are we don't talk about we don't talk about that enough like we should all the floor is yours

please talk about the fact that penis isn't the word happiness for as long as you see fit. Okay, I think I probably maxed out on... You're going to say, that's about it.

That's the amount that we should talk about it. Should we be brought up on a podcast and people go, oh. Isn't that kind of crazy, though? How is this the first time... I was actually just thinking that. We don't talk about it enough that the word chestnut has the word cunt in it. Oh, chestnut.

Chestnut. What? She has a C, a U, and an u and n and a t but she well yeah the word jackie is well that's why your thing is stupid that's why your point is dumb but it is funny i don't think of it as happiness i think it is happiness well i i know but yeah it's just funny again how you think of words when did you think of this like jackie's been this has been consuming her really yeah yeah like last week and then every single day since last week i wanted to see how long this has been rattling around like like i think it's like it's like such a you know it's a word use like children use it all the time and

like they're just saying penis you guys are saying penis you look stupid it's just so it's just so crazy that like we don't talk about it and then i think this is probably the most anybody's ever talked about it ever i would agree i would probably agree with that i hope that no one ever talks about this ever again happiness all right i'm done. What about sloppiness? Sloppiness. That's even better.

That's a slop penis. It doesn't. It's in everything. I hate this show. I hate this. Guys, it's in everything. There's literally penises all around this. Scrappiness. Guys, it's in everything. There's literally penises all around us. Oh my god.

That's so funny, guys. There's so many. There's so many. Floppiness. Floppiness. Oh my god. These are the things that like if people

had an open dialogue about this or something. For those listening at home, Jackie is in tears. Oh my god. I'm crashing out. For those listening at home, Jackie is in tears. Oh my God, I'm crashing out. For sure. Well done.

Well done. You brought us on a journey. You guys don't seem to believe me that I'm about crashing out. I'll show you. Holy shit. It's early March. March is a big month March is a big drinking month

oh I gotta pay rent yeah this is pretty early for you you got March Madness you got St. Patrick's Day I always had my birthday

and a few of my other friends' birthdays for me March was always like you were March 7th? 6th 6th I knew it why didn't you say i think i always say 7 and every time i get corrected i said march 6 in my head i didn't know that we were shouting out dates so then he said march 7th i said i'm pretty sure 6 and then but then you said march 6 if i really need to break down the whole thing me shaquille o'neal michelangelo uh my friend katherine shout out to katherine too she's not quite on the level of me shack and mich Michelangelo My friend Catherine Shout out to Catherine too She's not quite on the level of me, Shaq, and Michelangelo

But also Catherine Do you remember when we partied with Shaq in Vegas? Yeah, that was fun That was fun Where was I? Why were we there? I don't know Smackdown

Oh, SummerSlam I think I got home, yeah SummerSlam, yeah Well, I'm sure when you guys were doing it You were drinking Evan Williams bourbon It's the number one pour for the month of March. So whether you're watching March Madness, whether it is St. Patrick's Day, all sports, the best pour is Evan Williams bourbon. After a long day at the office, no better way to unwind than turn it on a big game and pour yourself a nice glass on the rocks.

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straight bourbon whiskey, Barstown, Connecticut, 43% to 45% alcohol by volume. Jackie, how do you think Gene Hackman was murdered? Oh. He definitely was, right? This is getting crazy. The details are fucking wacky. At first, I was like, I'm sure everyone's going to think this is murder.

And then, yeah, it seems like it's funky. Or it doesn't have to necessarily be murder, but like. They're being shady about it. What we need to do is. But who's. That's a good. Who's funky. Or it doesn't have to necessarily be murder, but like... They're being shady about it. What we need to do is... But who's... That's a good... Who's being shady about it? Well, here's the problem.

They're not being shady, but there needs to be, in our reporting, there's a middle ground between no foul play and that means they just died of natural causes. There's a big... Well, there is. It's suspicious, which is what they have it as. Okay, because that's not what i heard initially they were like the very initial report was no foul play and then like in two hours they're like never mind this is okay because that like that initial report when you know because i think it does lend itself to people be right away like all right here comes the tinfoil hats and it's like i don't think it's tinfoil hat to think two dead people in different rooms with a dead dog

locked in a closet they've been there for two weeks like i don't know i didn't realize how young the fuck's going on his wife was when i first read it i was like oh they both just died yeah because he's 95 like i figured like oh he died and then a week later she died but like they're so fucking old they haven't been outside the house yet. Right. But I didn't realize that she was like in her 60s. Yeah, she was 63. I think he's 95.

She died in the bathroom. They said there was a bottle of pills, but I don't think anything like heavy duty. But there was a bottle of pills near her. They also said that they could tell that a space heater had been moved. And I don't know why or how that would be. But I guess it's like, oh, the space that would be but i guess it's like oh the space heater was there and instead it's like on the floor yeah um we didn't realize the carbon monoxide was ruled they ruled out carbon monoxide they ruled out foul play meaning like i'm assuming

like there was no fucking blood spatter and no broken windows and no gunshot residue but like wait was the dog dead too so the dog was dead and in the closet, but then there was also two alive dogs because some people were like, oh, this was like a pact, like a love suicide, right? But first of all, I think being in different rooms would be weird. Usually you lay down in bed with your hands. So that kind of dispelled it. And then some people were like they locked up the dog so that the dog wouldn't eat the dead bodies. But there was one dead dog and two alive dogs, although I think the alive dogs were outside. But it's just like the whole thing is like, if you did kill the dog why didn't you kill these

other dogs and if you were committing suicide why weren't you doing it together and everything is just like what the fuck is going on yeah in general though like if it's not carbon monoxide like right off the bat i think it should have been like it's a little we have to at least agree that this is off the rip suspicious when two people and a dog end up dead all one shot like even if it's carbon monoxide it's like there was some suspicion but we figured it out but now that that's ruled out it's like something is although i could you i guess it could be if she died because she a overdosed or or fell or heart attack or something. And then he's like, she takes care of me. And now I don't have her to take care of me.

So now he dies. If I had to guess, we're never going to know. I would guess it was just a weird situation. Wow, it's weird. Like, what are the circumstances? Well, there's a dead dog in the closet. I actually need to know. I need them.

Isn't that funny? Nobody gives a fuck about Gene Hackman, and it's like – Oh, hang on. Well, no, I mean you wouldn't – it's not like Jeffrey Epstein or something. It's just like he's awesome. But it's just like he died. I don't know. But now it's like how did Gene Hackman die?

I need to know. It is crazy how much – like, I just can't imagine living my life. The amount of people who are like, oh, he clearly knows all the Hollywood elite secrets, and they killed him. It's like – It's got to be exhausting to live like that. Who's saying that? Yeah, you know, the weirdos on the internet.

Like, the people who are every single thing. Who's saying they murdered 95-year-old Gene Ackman because he was? Epstein flight logs? Right. Every single thing in their mind turns, will track back to, like donald trump jeffrey epstein yeah and alex jones but like just like okay like i don't even like there have been crazy people forever the whole world in all the time we've existed there's been groups of crazy people you don't have to acknowledge all their opinions right yeah but i feel like for there to have not been foul play,

there's like one, maybe two explanations. And for... It just almost seems like the more logical answer. The more logical thing is that. Yeah, that something happened. The more logical thing is that they killed him because he was on the Epstein flight logs? No, but maybe it was Epstein flight logs.

Maybe he got caught up in the mafia. Maybe he... He's 95 years old! This guy's in the mafia. What are you talking about? Guys, I don't know. He's been retired for 20 years. Maybe he was kind of like, I don't know. He's in the old What are you talking about He's been retired for 20 years Maybe he was kind of like

I don't know You think you can act And run the mafia At the same time No sir There's a million explanations And carbon monoxide poisoning Is kind of the only

Other explanation Other than like Him being in the mafia Or on the flight logs Or whatever So It just begs the question Like what is that

Dude they said Because there's something Her body Was going through the mummification process. That's how long she was dead. In two weeks? Yeah. Really? They said there was, like, bloating and mummification.

What does mummification mean? I don't know. I thought mummification was, like, you get wrapped up. They stick a needle in your head. They scoop your brain out. I wonder if that's, like, a mis... You know, maybe they meant, like, rigor rigor mortis and they said mummification. But rigor mortis sets it real quick.

Because what does that mean? Did someone wrap me up and fucking... I don't know if I'm familiar with the word. I thought mummification was like we take out your organs and... Google mummification definition. Pass. I think I got it right here. Do we mummy people today?

I think if you specially ask, they will. I feel like mummification was just old school body prep like yeah yeah like like it's now we take out your organs what a gig that is would you how much money for you to uh be like a funeral home you know do all that they make a lot of money they do because. They make a lot of money. Because, of course, one of those things is like, imagine the first guy who was in the town. Somebody dies,

he takes care of the body because he's a good guy. And then someone else dies and they're like, well, John did it last time. And he's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm not going to be this guy

unless, you know, I'm not going to be that dude. I'll be like the blacksmith. I don't want to fucking do this. But then if someone was like, okay, I'll do all your bodies, but it's fucking, you know, 20 grand a pop. That was so funny, Cliff.

I watched Dana and Francis. Such a goddamn funny show. So good. Do they have a name for that? I think it's just like Francis teaches Dana or something like that. Or Dana learns. Dana learns, yeah. When Francis asked the very first publicly traded company in the world,

which I actually knew the answer to. Does anyone else? I feel like that was in like the – PG&E? No. What did you say? Sorry. I'll shut up.

What did you say? I was thinking of the Johnson & Johnson. Johnson & Johnson? No, that's incorrect. Did it have to do with The Dutch East India Trading Company Bang nailed it

Is that it It's the East India Trading Company Which I learned Out of the museum In Amsterdam I think I learned That from you

Really I think so Didn't they like Create like the market Almost Yeah It was like They invented

Trading stocks They would sell Like a share In the East India Trading Co Okay Johnson & Johnson Was kind of a crazy answer Well that was The funny part Of Francis Maybe Jeannie Was really crazy They would sell a share in the East India Trading Co. Okay, Johnson & Johnson is kind of a crazy answer.

Well, that was the funny part of Francis. Maybe Genie was really crazy. Francis was like, well, guess. And he's like, Dell? And then he goes, no. He's like, no, that's not it. So he names three other fucking companies. And he's like, no.

Dana, it happened a long time ago. He goes, Blacksmith. And set a profession. And then Dana. And then was like, well, I'm trying, man. Because you're not trying. I told you it was a long time ago. You named four computer companies and the trade of blacksmithing. I love that show man you know it's

I always say that like when you do the content it's best to like just be yourself because then you don't have to act or put on a show or whatever

and so just find what you're good at like I'm trying to do with television right now I know I'm going to watch a lot of TV so I might as well talk about TV

Dana is just like I'll be dumb but he's also a genius. That is what's over the top. Dana is the best player in dozen history. The best player. He's unbelievable. He's a cheat code to the Boos Ponies.

The Boos Ponies have played three matches this year. We've beaten all three other teams from the Final Four last year. We're fucking good. That's not even a debate anymore. And it's, whoa, hello. Holy moly. Just at brunettes over here? How fucking hard is this?

I don't follow. It's on my For You page. Why is it on your For You page? Because I look at it every time it comes by. Hard knock. Dude. Brunettes. That's like when you first start searching porn.

Brunettes. Girls. That girl was beautiful on whoever that was. No, but real quick, log into my Twitter and follow this for me. Whoever that is, is like the most beautiful girl in the world. Is that girl famous? Do we know who that is? She is absolutely stunning.

See, I think she's not just... Oh my god. It is. Once you open replies, I like, it's not, I'm like, I thought we were having fun.

It's not fun. Never mind. I just jerked off to this BTW. That is, dude, like, I love that there's

grok details. We get it, man. There's three paragraphs from AI about what this picture is. It's just a really fucking hot chick. Oh, Jesus Christ. Holy moly.

Dude, you can have fun on the internet for three seconds. I know. And then you're going to see something else and be like, never mind. This isn't fucking fun. I know. That's crazy. We were having a good time for fucking five seconds. And then we saw more internet.

This is not just mine, right? My For You page? I don't go on For You. It's sex in the N-word. Oh, no. My brother told me this weekend. He was like... Sounds like a fucking band name

or something crazy. I was talking to my brother this weekend and he was like... He kind of looked over and he's like, what's your deal with Twitter? And I was like, I use it, but I post and ghost. And I was like,

but sometimes I'll sit down and I'll be on it for like an hour. And he was like, I deleted it, but I post and ghost. And I was like, but sometimes I'll sit down and I'll be on it for like an hour. And he was like, I deleted it. He's like, I had to get it off my phone. It does suck. He's like, it's so bad. Let me see what mine looks like right now. Mine was like a lot of beheadings.

I was getting mad. A lot of beheadings. That's insane. That's insane. Yeah. For you. Instagram and TikTok are kind of onto something with like the censorship. Dude, we've been a longstanding anti-free speech company.

Yeah. Or not company. Absolutely. Brand. Yeah. Whatever you want to call it. Yeah. You know what?

I will say my Instagram is like I probably clicked on one horny post the other day and then it flooded yeah like everything else like i follow basketball i follow rappers i like i follow the art people like all those talented posts i put up a lot of different shit that i use it for all the time all this television and i like will start to get stuff here and there and i click on one horny post and it's like i just clicked one time it was the hot brunettes girl what do you want me to do if you look at my Instagram you'd be like this man is a sexual deep it is like the I forget I was gonna say never mind what was I just gonna say cuz they had a good point if you I have a burner call we got

a burner for Mets podcast you click on that and I've never used that so like it doesn't have just only fans and sex and shit? It's just all right-wing propaganda and sex. That, yeah. To me, that's the example of like – because I remember being like, all right. My bar stool is in my name, and I'm a 40-year-old white guy. They're just assuming, and they're just sending me that shit. But you can start a brand-new-ass account that is just talking about baseball, and you'll get right-wing employment. There's clearly an agenda here um um anyway the oscars um while we're talking

right wing um what about the oscars what do you got loved it i thought that was the best oscars i've seen in a long time. I thought it was just great. I don't think there's anything I'd cut from the show. I thought it was. What did you think of Conan's Kendrick joke? I thought that was funny because I thought that joke was about Kendrick. That wasn't a joke about Drake. That was a joke about Kendrick.

Right, right. But it is just more like, yes, but it's also just people are still just mentioning Drake and pedophile in the same sentence. And he's got to be like, God damn it. He was talking about the absurdity of it. He's like, this is fun. Yeah, it's time for Kendrick Lamar to come out and call Drake a pedophile. Right, right. I think that went over people's head that they were like, what a shot to Drake.

And it's like, no. No. If anything. Look, only Conan knows who it was at, but I definitely took it as a shot at Kendrick. At Kendrick, yeah. There was a – I should have fucking wrote his name down, but the dude who wrote that joke posted on Instagram and Twitter saying he bet – it was a bet about whether it would go over well or not.

Yeah. And shit. I can't remember any of the details of the story, so it's bad podcasting. But the guy was like – it was also like a – hey, give me credit. I wrote that joke. Because everyone was like, Cronin's amazing. And he said, I wrote the joke, and it was the executive producer, I think, wanted it out. And he said no, and then they had a bet with whatever was on the line.

And he was like, thank you. It performed well, and everyone talked about it. That was – to me, I did not watch, so I always i always kind of at this point i just consume things through the internet i'm like how did the internet react to the thing that's going on you know uh it was uh that joke and kieran culkin's kids speech kieran culkin i do not drink that kool-aid you don't like him i don't i don't i don't like hate him i don't like strongly dislike him or anything like that but i do not find him as cute and cuddly as everyone does i i do not get the the kieran culkin i think he it's a bit much like it's clearly like he an angle like this cute cuddly thing or like i'm wacky and zany i mean robert robert downey jr addressed it kind of where he was like he's like the only thing

kieran culkin's the only i forget what he so they had robert downey jr presents because reigning yeah uh best supporting actor presented it and he was just complimenting everybody and saying how great their performances were and all that stuff and i think when you get to kieran he was like the only thing i'd say about kieran is maybe stop trying to be as witty as me on all the press tours and it was because he's kieran colgan again i like him it's i'm not trying to be like i hate kieran colgan but i don't i don't find him as as like endearing as people do i find him to be like I hate Kieran Culkin, but I don't find him as endearing as people do. I find him to be like his character in that movie.

He's kind of an asshole. Yeah. It's like, just settle down. It's a lot. It's a lot. I listened to the actors on actors with him and Coleman Domingo, and I just didn't really like that that much. Again, he's not being a bad person. He's just being a little grating and i like even even that speech that

people loved in the speech he acknowledged that doing what he did brought undue pressure onto his wife yeah yeah you're doing it again and you're just doing it again like that's kind of a fucking yeah selfish dicky thing to do the only thing i'll say about him is I had a thought of he, for the longest time, was probably known as Macaulay's brother and the guy who pees the bed at Home Alone. And I'm sure you look through his IMDB and shit. I'm sure he had a career and was on plenty of things. But all these years later, now all of a sudden you get a hit show and you get a movie. And it's just like life is so long and careers are so long that if you have enough money or talent or just grit to last, you'll get there. You know what I mean? I shouldn't say get there.

You're not going to win an Oscar. But it's just interesting to me that it's like – That's what – I would be curious if Kieran Culkin – like obviously he's more famous now. I'd be curious if – again,kin, obviously he's more famous now. I'd be curious if, again, and also obviously the Oscar means more. But I bet he was happily working for his whole life. I bet people think he's been grinding, and I'm sure he has. But I bet he's been enjoying his life. Culkin's IMDb.

He was in Igby Goes Down. Igby Goes Down is great. What's that? Igby Goes Down. Movie? Yeah. Jeff Goldblum fucking what's her name

hot chick from Saving Silverman Amanda Peet this guy he's literally illiterate Kiernan Culkin I saw you try to throw in the Macaulay too

it's just it's like I don't know if he doesn't know how to read or he just gets pressure it's crazy Kiernan Macaulay was what he wrote there

how's your Kiernan Macaulay I don't know mccauley was what he wrote there like yeah if you look like he's it's not like he hasn't been working i bet he's like yeah i'm rich and famous well but you know like working is different than like being rich and famous though like but he's you can be in movies and like have bit parts and you're not like killing he's five six holy shit the oh i thought that was that was kind of partly i thought why i loved the oscar so much last night is that i feel like they're always eight of them eight eight colkins that's crazy i yeah the big family um but i feel like the oscars are always trying to appeal to everybody and i thought last night they did a good job of being like for the movie fans we're

a movie award show yeah we're not gonna be for everybody like think of people turning to the barstool awards and they're like oh these guys really love fucking barstool yeah it's what the fucking award show is yeah like it should be for people who like movies we smell our own farts we have our head up our ass we're artsy and like and yeah dude like an insurance company will have a fucking convention and they'll give out awards. And they're like, oh, everyone cares about – you had the same convention for your fucking dumb industry. It's just like people want to watch this one. And also, yeah, ours is like millions of people are into this shit. I think they had it 100 last night.

I don't think they missed a single award. I think every single one that was deserving got it. I know he's young And everyone says he wasn't It was a Timothee Chalamet year though He I haven't seen that movie I haven't seen the movies either

But I just the narrative and the story But see like that no they shouldn't give it to Chalamet Because they should give it to the best actor Well right But I almost I think it's a good thing Because the way he's been talking and acting, this feels like he's going to be, like, maniacal. It's like if he wins, it's almost like you're 29 and you've peaked. Yeah, yeah.

It's like now you've got to get back in the lab and go do, like, a fucking – He's going to get it for Dune 3. I don't know, though. I don't think you get it for a movie like that. I don't think so either. Yeah. I don't even think you can get it for a biopic. I don't think so either I don't even think you can get it for a biopic I don't think that's the reason why he didn't get it

I think you have to make a brutalist type movie to get best actor That I don't like either They do need to But it is like It's the best movie You know what I mean? It's the people who know movies are voting on it It's weird that we opine

They know how to watch a movie better than me do. I think there should be, you know, I guess it's like the People's Choice Awards. They have a whole award show for that. The MTV Awards.

It's like, the people. But I did like that idea. I mean, they made that one category for the Black Panther that one year, right? Yeah.

Like, we gotta give an award to the Black movie. And then they just took it, it's gone, right? I think that was smart because again, what's the award

for the big blockbuster? The fucking money is the award for that. The fucking $1.9 billion you made. That's your recognition. You make that movie to make money. You make The Brutalist, and like you said, you make a dollar off of it. But I think there's a middle ground that should get knowledge. I think also with Rotten Tomatoes, you go with the people's choice rather than the critics' choice.

Which is fine. Do it. it's like that you never you go with the people's choice rather than the critics yeah so it's kind of like which is fine do it but this is an award show for people who know how to watch movies selecting the best movie right it's like like people like i saw this and like that barstool in particular it happens a lot where it's like the one person one movie someone saw they went to last year was rico with uh fucking the wrestling one yeah oh he's like yeah you've seen one other movie yeah yeah the experts pick it's like if fucking chalamet started well i guess chalamet does kind of know what he's talking about uh someone who doesn't watch sports being like that was your mvp yeah like dude you watched one game yeah you don't

know yeah um but like i i loved it didn't make any sense i one game this year. Yeah, you don't know what you're talking about. What are you talking about? Yeah. But I loved, it didn't make any sense. I'm sure it was a purchased ad. I don't know. I loved the Bond tribute. I thought that was cool as hell. It's like, yeah, we're just doing fucking movies. It's like a 15-minute Bond tribute of like Margaret Qualley dancing and Doja Cat singing songs.

I was like, yeah, fucking Bond does rock, dude. Love is Blind Season 8. The final episodes are now out as we build up to the reunion. Have you been watching? I have not had time to watch, but I've been listening to Recap. So I'm kind of up to date. Dave and his sister. No, stop.

Kevin. No, I'm not going to say he's having sex with her this time. This guy's sister has dominated this season, and then she just doesn't come on the show. And the girl wrote, this guy was my sister, my sister, my sister, my sister has to approve, my sister this, my sister that. And she was like, I'm excited to meet your sister. This girl, Lauren, is just like a normal girl, nice girl. And she was like, I'm excited to meet your sister. Like girl, Lauren, is just like a normal girl, nice girl. And she was like, I'm excited to meet your sister.

Like, I think she's going to like me. And she said no. She said, I will not meet you. And then she wrote a letter to the sister and gave it to the guy to give it to her, and he just didn't give it to her. I'm starting to think this girl doesn't exist. I think that he has concocted this sister to, like,

I don't want to date this girl. I'm going to say my sister doesn't approve of you, but she's not real, so I can't. It's's like a costanza lie it's crazy how much he talked about her and then she just didn't come on the show i i will say levin's blind is not the only because anything this happens in the other reality shows but probably the premiere the show is the show and it does well and then the reaction the real reaction from the real world becomes part of the show. The recaps and the talk. It's like I think they film and they're like, okay, this is good.

But they don't know that there's going to be some girl from Minneapolis who makes a TikTok. And there's going to be an ex-girlfriend who says this and that. It's like they don't know how the season is going to end because it's up to the real. It's like actual reality TV. Yeah, I almost feel like it's like because the people are so normal there. It's not like these already like. So normal. We need to get...

They're going to go to Boston next. I want them to do New York or LA or some place where it's like these people are not normal folks. But either way, all I think 10 or 11 episodes are now out of season eight and there's drama all over the place. There's a bunch of successful people and they're like, oh, good. You're in love. Don't care.

But then there's a bunch of people who are... It's drama. It the place. There's a bunch of successful people and they're like, oh good, you're in love. Don't care. But then there's a bunch of people who are, it's drama, it's fighting, it's a train wreck. It's Love is Blind Season 8 available on Netflix and the season finale with The Weddings will be out March 7th. My birthday.

Bond, did we mention it on the show or was that off camera? I think we mentioned it on the show or was that off camera? I think we mentioned it on the show. Yeah, that was like – it was particularly weird though for a year that Bond wasn't in it. Well, that's why I think it was a purchased ad by Amazon. But don't you think you would do that when it's like they have one imminently coming out? No. No one even knows who Bond is.

People watching last night were like, I certainly thought it where I was like, oh, when it started, I was like, oh, Margaret Qualley's Bond girl and Bond is going to

come out of nowhere. No, this is everybody. No, we just like the movies. I was like, all right, fuck it.

Wasn't it supposed to be the guy? What's that? yeah, yeah. Shut up. Who's the guy? There was a lot of chatter

about Idris Elba for a while, but that was never really real. That was just internet talk, right? The guy who's dating the old woman, older woman? Oh, Aaron Taylor Johnson. Aaron Taylor Johnson, I would guess, is still the frontrunner. But I saw the other day Josh O'Connor, which I would fuck with. Who's he?

Challengers. He's just kind of skinny. I don't know. I don't even really like batman i don't dislike batman but i don't follow it that closely but i liked going robert pattinson says like oh yeah that's like a different body type that i'm used to seeing i i mean yeah it would be a departure but i think that that bond is when i watch challengers i was like oh that that though that movie was like in the middle of hot

rat what was it called rat guy summer yeah Those guys do look like little fucking robots. Where I think of, to me, Pierce Brosnan is like... But Brosnan wasn't jacked. I'm not saying jacked. I'm saying debonair. Yeah, that's the look for me when it comes to Bond. Theo James. I feel like Callum Turner is's like he doesn't have that

much of like a brand like you don't think of a specific role necessarily yeah it's almost good as you come in fresh kind of and it's like now you are bond so that guy huh i would i would not think that guy's that hot he's like a rodent yes okay so he's looking kind of rodent-esque here. All of these photos. I feel like you've got to be moving. Oh, okay. Do you know what I mean? You're only hot if you're moving. Yeah, there's just some people who are kind of like that.

Also, for Oscars, Conan. Unbelievable. Unbelievable. Dude, Conan is still underrated. Like, everybody always sucks his dick, and he's still underrated. Dude, when he was doing the intro, like, the monologue was awesome. The, uh, I'm not

gonna waste time. He's like, gives a warning to everybody. He's like, we're not wasting time here. I will not waste time. And then, like, slow music starts building, and he has this huge musical number. Just like, we won't waste time and it was like fun he brings out like the dune he's got like a dune worm playing the piano like um that was that was a plus but the little things he was saying in between introducing

uh the hosts or the uh what do you call people presenters presenters i almost said what do you call the people who present? Presenters. I almost said, what do you call the people who present? When he, the one he had, they were all so dumb. But when he had, it was Samuel L. Jackson and Selena Gomez. I was in tears. When he's like, your next two presenters are such good friends that sometimes, for no reason at all, they switch middle initials. It's Samuel M. Jackson and Selena L. Gomez. that sometimes for no reason at all they switch middle initials it's samuel m jackson and selena l gomez and i was like that was so stupid and it was just because even after he gave a look

at he's just such a fucking clown man he gave like a look at the camera after he's like i don't know man it's the end of the night he obviously has had an amazing career and all that but he's still like he got so fucked by jay leno and nbc and the tonight show and like just should have been i i don't even know how different it would have been but that dude just deserved to be the tonight show desk for the for the last 40 years of his life you know he just got so screwed over but he he kind of is in a similar situation maybe not to the same extent but like almost like what we said with shane when he first got lost snl it was like he has that beloved cult following yeah because of that yeah he got fucked but but like

you know team coco is big i'm sure his podcast does great but there's not quite the there's not an equivalent of like especially when you did it for so long like he wanted it and thought he was gonna get it and then got it and then got taken away but the nice thing is that like it also you know you kind of got it taken from you obviously you did but like do you still want to be doing that right now oh yeah like is anyone well i was saying this this was not really the case this is just in my little Chalamet bubble. But a lot of people who wanted Chalamet to win, winning is the best thing.

The second best thing is having people be like, you got robbed. Is that what people think Chalamet got robbed? No, I think there's a lot of Chalamet fans who just wanted it, but not necessarily robbed. I think that's the only movie a lot of people want to go see this year. I think average moviegoers,

that was the only one that they want to go see this year. Yeah, right. That's the other thing. I don't think people saw The Brutalist. They just like Chalamet. But I think being like – it was like when Pabst didn't win the movie thing in Chicago and everyone was like, that's better than whatever fake award you could have won. You know what I mean?

I did feel like that watching this year. Because it is weird. It's almost like when the NFL draft comes up, and then the person you thought was won, they're like, actually, there's the dark horse. Why is there a dark horse? They haven't played football in four months. We watched them play football.

That guy's the best one. And how I personally feel watching the awards last night, it was like, Dune 2 was the best one. It was by far the best one. Yeah. And how I personally feel watching the awards last night, it was like, Dune 2 was the best one. It was by far the best one, if you ask me. Was that nominated? It was nominated, but it never had a chance. Because those movies just don't win. No, it's because of when it came out.

I know, but I also just don't think, you're never going to win that over The Brutalist. I mean, they have in the past. What was, like, a big blockbuster that won over, like, a... But Dune 2 is in that weird area where I wouldn't consider Dune... Obviously, yes, it is a blockbuster. But, like, I don't think its spirit is a blockbuster. I mean, I guess.

But, yeah. But, I mean, it's a sci-fi, you know, big-budget action movie that I just don't think you're ever going to beat out a Holocaust movie. That is weird that it didn't win best. I do think there should be some category that's like that. Not quite as stupid as that Black Panther one was, but just like a – I don't know what you even call it. It's just like normal people movies. It was just like you won the box office this year. But it's not necessarily that. It's like – it's just like normal people movies it was just like you won the box office this year but it's not necessarily that it's like it's just like more traditional like this is a good traditional

movie i don't know it's hard i can't really articulate it but you know like an oscar movie versus just like a regular movie and those regular movies and comedies and a lot of times get you know left out yeah it's not this big dramatic you know dark whatever type thing it's like you can make like happy funny whatever movies and still should get credit for it yeah is there a people's choice uh category like at the people's choice awards there is but not but no that's what kevin saying yeah yeah i feel like yeah maybe that would just be the solution just like a fan vote but that doesn't mean anything you know what i I mean? So it's like – But that's – it's like, right, that's what an Oscar is.

It's like all your peers are saying this was the best one. Yeah, but what I would like is for that – the Academy to also judge like comedies more and like different types of – like I would like to know what the academy's opinion is on some of the those types of performances you know what i mean yeah because it's like i i do think uh and i've joked around did you say too that like jim carrey and liar liar nate nate said it yeah it was like jim carrey performing it there's a lot of like i knew someone on the show and i knew it wasn't one of us like that is so crazy. You're talking about acting. It's incredible.

But you're never going to get an award for that. But I would love somebody who really knows acting to be like, that was incredible for this, that, and the other reason. You know what I mean? But it's usually just like, I don't know. We're going to talk about the movie that was the Holocaust or romance or drugs or war or whatever. Because that's typically the stuff that evokes that like drama, you know. But there's like the last three Best Picture winners, right?

So last year was Oppenheimer. Oppenheimer. That's a big, that's a blockbuster. Yeah, that's probably. That's a sci-fi. Yeah. Big stuff. But yeah, that's like a.

It's sci-fi, right? It's science. It's not fiction but sci-fi encapsulates like science bombs yeah that was i think the fire is a pretty important part of sci-fi so the characters in that movie it was sci-fi they were like we don't know what this is gonna happen yeah like they they made it fiction but for a while it was it was some made-up shit we might blow the world up right now like i i understand that this year was crazy to me like the fact and this might just be like because tom cruise like owns hollywood top gun being nominated for best

picture was fucking insane i agree and that's almost the opposite of what i'm saying is that like top gun should win a movie an award of some sort but it definitely best picture like that was not only was that like that was just like dune is bigger and better than just like an action top gun was just fucking top gun they just did the same exact movie in the 80s just like a different enemy basically like that was the same fucking shit i could not believe that that was nominated like now that i'm looking at this, so Enora wins this year, Oppenheimer won last year, everything all at once before that, Coda before that.

Nomadland. Nomadland, that one sucked. It's a dark years. But it's not like Parasite. I wouldn't say Green Book. These aren't Holocaust, impossible to grasp movies. I'm not saying it's that,

but Coda is like a, that's like an Oscar movie like a that's not like a that's like an oscar movie coda coda was one you know i don't even know what nomadland is i i think uh but so like i i would say like parasite was a good movie parasite green book shape of water is a little weird shape of water was a weird one for sure spotlight what's that one birdman like that's michael keaton there Michael Keaton there's a good mix of like oh Argo

of just like that was a great movie versus that was an artsy movie yeah I feel like for Parasite to like not

be based on something say again like for Parasite it was like a movie that like wasn't based on something yeah just like totally original

completely abstract idea. I feel like we need more of this. That's cool, too, yeah. When it's just like this is... What do they call it? Best original screenplay? Is that what that is?

Yeah. Adapted screenplays, I believe. They're usually based off books if it's a biopic, but they're usually pre-written. It usually comes from a book or an idea that's written. Right. A totally original thing. I'm surprised Dune didn't win that.

Yeah. Yeah. Not only is it a great movie, Like a totally original thing. I'm surprised Dune didn't win that. Yeah. Yeah. Because like, it's not only is it a great movie, it is a book that has been attempted to be made into a movie. And failed. And then people were scared of it for 40 years. Yeah.

Like, you made it into a blockbuster. That's a great adapted screenplay. For sure. What'd you think, Adrian Brody's speech? I thought it was funny it's funny telling the band to shut the fuck up and the band listening when he was like this is not my first rodeo he's done it before i'll do it again shut up yeah all right yeah that is it was do you know it was i loved uh the german couple

who won best like short or whatever. They weren't German. They were Dutch. But first of all, I also thought it was a cool thing that Conan did. It was when he highlighted at the start of the show when he's like – because, again, everyone was like, oh, all rich people suck each other's dicks. He's like, a lot of people who are going to win tonight are not rich or famous. Like they're this couple.

When she had the line at the end, because they're a married couple and they made this movie. And she goes, us Dutch are pretty level-headed, so we don't say I love you a lot. I guess I'll say it now. I was like, fuck yeah, dude. Also, just like the idea that love is crazy. We're pretty level-headed, so we don't say any nonsense like that. Did you see the guy who buttoned his button wrong? No.

I don't know if this was a big viral thing, but I saw a video on it. It was a funny video. It was like somebody who doesn't win. It was not a famous person. They won Best Animated Short or whatever. And he was so excited. He kind of looked like Blutman. He just had crazy hair.

That was awesome. What? That guy was awesome. You know what I'm talking about? Yeah. And he buttoned the completely wrong jacket hole. So it was like completely off you know anybody who's so excited and and the video i saw was just a couple watching them

reacting to him just like laughing their head off just being like this it was just a very like funny wholesome moment was like there are there are famous people and rich people and then there's a bunch of people who are not bad you know and he was just like so pumped to even be up on the stage but it was so out of whack. He put the top button, the third button, and the first button. His jacket was all jacked up. And then there was Demi Moore not winning. Everybody reading into the – she was on camera for a split second as they put Mikey whatever.

Mikey Madison. There was not enough time to know if she was happy sad or anything you know but they were everyone was like she's so mad I'm sure she's mad I did see someone saying that it is this is the substance playing out in real life I said that too

like the hotter younger new girl on the scene wins and I do think is – what's her name? Mikey Madison? Yeah. Is she a big deal? I mean she's won an Oscar, but like she's going to be – because I do feel like, you know, like Chalamet is going to win eventually.

Like probably should have hooked your girl Demi Moore up with an Oscar. Yeah. No, I – I mean you're right. It's like winning MVP. It's like you should just give it to the best person. But sometimes narratives

and circumstances do come into play. And, like, if this girl is gonna... She's young and she's gonna have other chances, like, I don't know.

I would have probably leaned towards giving it to the woman who... So you're making the opposite argument from Chalamet? Yeah. Well, um...

No, no, no, no. Same idea. Like, the narrative around it. Yeah, yeah, okay, I see. Yeah, no, it's actually more the same idea like like the the narrative around it yeah yeah okay i see yeah no it's actually more the same idea but in this but yes in the opposite that chalamet will have another chance so he like that's okay but like i think if you look back on and this again this is like my bubble but i would say that this year has been like chalamet's year versus yeah brody's year you know what i mean so like top it off with it but i like that that's like sports like fucking oh seven was tom brady's here until it wasn't no yeah the giants right that's here right right um

yeah mikey mikey has it she actually was the only thing i liked about anora so i think she should have won i hope chalamet doesn't win until he's like 60. I mean, with Leo, right? Leo is like 50? And he just has like 50 fucking nominations. Yeah. And he just keeps going out there and like, you know, and then when he does win. Because the reality is he'll probably win like seven by the time he's done, you know? But it would be awesome if that one was like, you know, the day he does it.

What sucks for Leo is like everybody knows that the revenant was not like his best movie you know what i mean yeah although but then i watched the revenant and i was like i know it is good yeah but it but it's like whether or not that's true the the thing everyone always says is it wasn't his best movie right i mean and but people say that we're like you know what i mean it's like i think that i don't think that she like that was probably his best acting performance well right that's the right and that's what we're talking about best actor yeah yeah omaha steaks delivers the world's best steak experience and brings people together for uh over a hundred years of family-owned experience as America's original butcher.

That's a great line, like, we're the original butcher. They have legendary filet mignons that are extra aged to maximize tenderness. Do you eat steak? You like steak? You're a steak girl? How do you cook your steak? It's more like I'll have the steak if it's given to me.

I don't really, like, make it. If you were to order a steak at a restaurant, how would you order it? Probably medium rare, but I don't know what that means but i just like hear it hear it she's cutting like she's medium rare yeah sass and the sass and francis cook off and i mean that was raw that was insane was that a bit was that a bit no god no he really he really thought that was but but i mean like was he like oh that's totally raw but i'm gonna go with it or he thought that was... But I mean, was he like, oh, that's totally raw, but I'm going to go with it? Or he thought that was cooked properly?

I think on the outside it looked cooked properly. On the inside it was purple. As Rowan started cutting into it, his ass just with all the confidence in the world. She's cutting like she's medium rare. And then they cut it open and it was just raw. That one's back on. Francis was like, I feel bad for whoever has to test this. It was raw.

Francis was like, I feel bad for whoever has to test this. Yeah, I'm a medium guy myself, and I don't care what anybody has to say about it. I think you should eat your steak however you want to eat your steak. The good thing about Omaha Steaks, no matter how you cook it, it is high quality because it's that maximized tenderness with the extra flavoring. They have the Omaha seasoning. That's like their special seasoning that comes along with it. And you can get filet mignons. You can get chicken cutlets, breasts, jumbo franks, burgers, pork chops, any sort of cut of meat that you like.

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for an extra $30 off. Are you staying at Tim Dillon's? Oh wait, stop. We're going to talk about this. I lost his key. I'm like, where are they, stop. We're going to talk about this. My loss is key. I'm like, where are they? I had to use them to get in. Like, I lost them inside his apartment. Oh, I did that last night. In my own apartment.

In your own apartment. It's like, you try to be nice to yourself, but you want to be like, I don't know what to say to talk about it. Last night, I was trapped in my apartment. Because I was like, I know. Everybody looks cute in their little sweats. Yours are like, lazier than everyone else's. Theirs are like, stylish, matching. Yours are just like. We everyone else's. Theirs are like stylish, matching.

Yours are just like... We did a basketball like challenge this morning so we're all... Okay. Athletic wear. All right. Defensive already.

It's funny. As we came back, I was like, I'm going to be dressed like a schlub all day now when we were first. I don't think I've ever seen you not dressed in a athleisure.

Athleisure is good though. Shows you're active. Active? Yeah. I feel like most people in athleisure these Athleisure is good, though. Eh. Shows you're active. Active? Yeah. I feel like most people in athleisure these days are not active. Is that your real hair? No. I was going to say, that's long as fuck.

No, no, no, no, no. Looks good, though. Thanks. It looks real enough. I mean, it's real hair. It's not mine. You're staying at Tim Dillon's. I'm staying at Tim Dillon's place.

We just had Luke on the show. He was staying at Tim Dillon's. Is he just running a hostel? I actually read Luke's little note for Tim What did it say? It said thank you for the sweet love It was just very nice and then I thought God I've never thanked

I've never left him anything nice I stay at his shit all the time Does he live in the city or Long Island? He's got a few places My gay sugar daddy I'm so lucky The luckiest girl in the world A sugar daddy that would throw up on. I'm the luckiest girl in the world.

A sugar daddy that would be throw up on you if you tried to have sex with him. But I, you know, I was late today because, are we recording? Yeah. Okay. I was late today because I couldn't find his keys. And now I had to use the keys to get into the apartment. There's not a lot in there. I had already kind of organized my stuff.

Like, I have no. Is it gone? You still don't have i have no i was like i need to check like inside like where do they are they in me like where are they i never found them there's really well there's a door guy like i can get in they should have never even given me the keys yeah to be honest i didn't need them so wait it sounds like this is like i mean if you and luke are doing this this is a regular thing? Everyone crashes at Tim's house? Tim's very generous. Does he want people? Or are you guys like, hey, can I stay at your place? No, he's very nice. He's cool.

I don't think you've had a guest on here that hasn't stayed at one of Tim's houses. Not in the sense that he's not generous. I get that. But I could see him being the total opposite. You're not coming to my space. Maybe if he doesn't like you. I don't know. Yeah.

But, yeah, no, he's so nice. He was just at a, like, party bar that I was at. And this person who I knew, this, like, hot guy who I knew was there. And he was like, oh, my God, I'm a huge Tim Dillon fan. And I was, like, wondering if I were to go, like, there's no way that he would recognize me from the show. But if I were to be able to go up and be like, hey, like what's up?

And he was like, hey, yeah, you're Jackie. I knew it would look so cool. I was like, that'd be so, but I,

there was like, there's no chance. He's been on the show via Zoom. He would not even know who we are. I don't think he would not know like at all. No, the guy wouldn't care either. He would shove you to the side.

They have like little bromances with Tim. Yeah. He'd be like, get the fuck out of my way. Get in the way of me and Tim. Because he was like, you have to. He would definitely know you. And I was like, probably.

But I don't want to bother him. I'm not being social tonight. You talk all the time. You talk about yourself. I'm like, I don't know. I'm kind of like not in the mood. Yeah, no, I think Tim yeah, Tim is like very generous. He also has, the guy must be so hot because Tim has, walking down the streets of New York

with Tim, it's like the hottest. People are shouting about him. It's like the hottest guys you've ever seen. Yeah. Who are hot girls fans of? KFC Radio. Like, I'm genuinely. Nice try, Dave.

Is there a group of people who you think of Where you're like They got hot fans For women Doesn't have to be comedy Could be any Any genre Like Bravo Yeah

Bravo chicks I can see that Yeah reality TV Yeah reality TV Hannah I was gonna say Giggly Squad Probably that But I think

Disturbals got The whole All females Hot Ugly Big small That's what I was gonna say Girls come in We all have a crew Probably that. But I think... Disturbables got the whole... All females. Hot, ugly, big, small, rich, poor. That's what I was going to say. Girls come in. We all have a crew. You know, not all of our friends are hot.

Yeah, well... I don't think any of us have just like a full hot friend group. You know, we always have a couple. I have one friend. Every single person she has friends with is fucking gorgeous. Yeah, she's crazy. Like, it's not just the women. It's the guys, too. Every guy. I'm like she everywhere she goes it's it's i i almost like i i would i would turn

down an invitation if you asked me to come hang out because i would be by far the ugliest person like it wouldn't even be close they would be like they're all stunning what public school this guy yeah this poor fat idiot and his athleisure. Get out of here. Now, does she have new friends or are her old friends also hot? Like her friends from high school are hot too? I don't know her high school friends. Because when you dig back into high school, there's about three that flourish. Three?

Yeah. And I look back at my high school friends. When you find them, you go, oh. I had that happen to me for the first time recently where it was like i forget what i was home for i was home for something and it wasn't even the people were ugly it was just like i was like oh you're old now you got old yeah like it was i think it's part like there's a you live in the suburbs you have a family you kind of like i think city you're doing the normal thing you're supposed to do

the city like what they say like 35 in the city is 25 in the suburbs kind of like yeah everyone i was like damn you look just like you look like a dad not even bad you look old yeah how about how about the thing where they'll show you like people that were 25 in like the 90s or whatever yeah and then you're like why do they look so fucking old yeah yeah there is there is something to that i can't remember what it is but there's like a psychological effect or something like that where it's like people i think they say actually did look and dress older than i don't know why having families and so it's like yeah maybe become a parent you just yeah you give up also the hairstyles were like great if you think of like

you look at all the john hughes movies's like Molly Ringwald was the hot girl, and you're like, oh. That's the one. So weird. That's the one. I guess I wasn't the right answer. You guys are all fighting for her. I was like, the shorter hair, the hotter.

You're like, oh, okay. What was your high school hairstyle? It was just normal. I was very Hanson-y. I looked a lot like the Hansons. I was very like blonde middle part. I can see that. Like maybe that long.

Yeah, Hanson's a – I was very Hanson-y. You could slide in to be a Hanson brother. No problem. I mean, look, one of the greatest pop songs of all time. I'll stand by that. Absolutely. I had a friend who got – like we – when that came out, we were like, yo, the middle one's like so hot, right? Yeah.

She's a smoke. I know. That's like the one that everybody thought was a girl. Those boys got married fast. They were very Christian. They all have kids in college. Really? It's so crazy.

So weird. How old are your kids, though? Nine and seven. but i'm turning 40 yeah yeah yeah he's crazy how weird is that very weird very weird watching like like they're like little people now you know yeah it's like when the fuck did this happen? Well, my twin brother has a 12-year-old, and I'm just like, I'm undecided. Should I? It's going to be so weird when they're like, this is your cousin, and she's like, you know, has gray hair. This is your cousin?

Because I have frozen embryos, so I could really just like pop them in. I could pop them in someone else. I could pop them in myself when I'm all old. We were just talking about the insanity that is pregnancy. And if you can outsource it that's the way to go it seems don't let anybody tell you about that glowing shit and all that connection let somebody else cook that thing and then you take care of it my whole like tiktok for you page right now is like don't have kids like it's like these mothers

holding like their screaming child just being like don't fucking do it so now and it's kind of like did you see that uh it was like a reddit post that went viral that was like this woman was just like it was like not not being one of these like don't have kids it's terrible but she was like it was not for me and i regret it every single day she's like my kids are fine i do love them but like we used to travel and i did this at work and and i loved my life i was in shape and all that and it's all gone and i wish it wasn't that's like i hope your kids do not read this my mom and i go we ruined her life yeah yeah she was like a really talented artist it's like i don't think she's picked up a paintbrush and ruined ruined i always remember i there was a this is like two summers

ago and my whole family was on the beach, and my sister just had a kid, so all the siblings are just talking about our nephew and kids and stuff like that. And I think my brother was like, yeah, I just don't want to do it. I don't really know. What did he say? I don't want to make my life all about that.

And my mom was sitting in a beach chair, and she just leaned in. She goes, it only takes about as much of your life as you want it to. my life all about that and my mom was sitting in a beach chair and she just leaned in she just goes it only takes about as much of your life as you want it to lady we're all sitting here but she was like it's all yeah i mean i guess that's true like you could but it yeah then you're it's like anything else it's like all right if you keep doing your shit like your kids will probably suffer yeah yeah, yeah, yeah. And you could just be like, whatever, bro. I just wonder if right now I can't find the keys. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

When I just go to sleep whenever I want and wake up whenever I want and spend my free time however I want and I can't find the keys. You know what else it is too? It's like just like worry. Yeah. Like even like since I'm divorced, I do get like time off, you know, which is like. It's kind of a sweet deal. Dude, it's kind of sweet. Divorce is kind of the best.

Except for like the incredible trauma. It is fucking dope. Well, yeah, the kids are fucking ruined, but other than that. Like I can't imagine not getting. I guess also when I have my kids, I go all out. I'm like playing with them and we're doing things. Well, yeah, you have to make up for the time you're not there. That's right.

The half of their lives are not there. But the average, like especially dads, like dads – dad nowadays does like anything. It's like the bigger deal, right? But like just having that steady like seven days a week of like, meh. I'd rather jam it in, be fun, Oh my God. The bigger deal. Right. So, but like just having that steady, like seven days a week of like, man, I'd rather jam it in, be fun, do it all.

And then like get some time off, which I think is like all parents should do that. Cause I think you're all losing your mind. It's like having a bipolar aunt that just like swings in and takes you out for pizza. Gives you ice cream for breakfast. You're like, okay. So the other day he,

you go paintballing. You're like, okay, let's go. Your mom seems like such a bitch. you're like okay so the other day you go paintballing you're like okay your mom seems like such a bitch you're like what the fuck mom just makes me do my homework this bitch sucks we had tacos for breakfast the other day chicken nuggets tacos whatever you want man uh but uh chicken nuggets and tacos oh but they you know it was like one time we had tacos oh okay i was gonna say did you go but you could the double order that's pretty bipolar auntie but yeah that uh dude my time my bipolar aunt picked me up and took me to the movies once and

we got in an all-out fight i was like seven because i took her on a street with too many stop signs because she'd know how to get to the movies and i was like just go down here it's the only way to get to the movies i don't know how to get to the movies. And I was like, just go down here. It's the only way to get to the movies. I don't know. I didn't make the fucking stop signs. I was like, you know what? Turn this car around. I don't want to go to the fucking movies with you anymore.

Well, the good thing is by the time she took you home, she was happy again. No, I know. I had like a crazy, this like older woman who used to hang out with us. Like she was like our friend. It was my brother's friend's mom. And she was like way younger than my parents. She said she was 29 over and over and over again she would always have her 29th birthday but she would hang out with all of us like i was nine she would take us to get these like coffee drinks do all these bad things we couldn't tell our parents

she was smoking cigarettes i'm like lady what's your end goal here are you starting a cult like what's going on what do you need this starting a cult? What's going on? What do you need this many nine-year-old girls for? And then it ended up being my mom. We stopped hanging out with her, even though it was already inappropriate. We stopped hanging out with her. Because imagine giving a child coffee.

It was like a chocolate. And then she would just drop us off at our mom's house. She was like, on meth. I had a mom in the friend group who was like for sure bipolar and like crazy and it's like you need one just to hang out with you yeah and they let you smoke weed and stuff hopefully not when you're nine but they let you like

have the parties and shit and then you get older and you're like damn we should be dead that lady almost killed us but she my mom kind of did this this like sting operation on her because she we this was when blockbuster was still a thing and she my mom had these random movies that were never returned so she was getting charged like 80 or something crazy and and then we tracked it down to being this woman had used our card somehow to get them

so imagine how many other weird things she was doing right we like went over their house i'm like oh my god beavis the butthead the movie is over here she never turned it she sent us in as little spies it is it's crazy that just like like most of the people you know in your life are insane most of the people you know in your life are insane. Most of the people you hang out with are fucking. There's something wrong with them. Everyone's autistic. And most of them will rear children.

Yeah, the craziest ones will. I'm not even saying they shouldn't or anything like that. I'm just like that's just like a crazy idea that like most of my insane people that I have spent time with will rear a child. Well, if you think about like teen pregnancies like to be a teenager and be like i gotta keep this baby insane like you're already like you're different nuts bro imagine that imagine like 14 like come on it's gonna ruin everybody's life the baby yours mine but then it. Nate Borgatti has a joke about that. He's like, teen parents have the best life.

Yeah, they got to figure it out. They get it all over with. They're like, chill him. He's like, by the time my kid's out of the house, I'm going to be in a dorm. It's over. You have a wingman to still go out with at that point. Teen mom, you're like 30. And you're like, yeah, this is fucking wrong.

Well, I always think I want to like i what if i gave my frozen embryos like gave them to a surrogate right how to surrogate have them there's something about that that's fucking crazy but uh about surrogacy well it's like can i just give my baby to like well i guess it would be part asian because my fiance's asian but like can i just give it to another and then there's another race is just having like a white baby wait what you just can give it to like another like a mexican woman could have my baby yeah it would look like crazy oh yeah right yeah and it's just they just give birth to a white baby right it's not like who's the dad it's like who's the mom it's like crazy but anyway so i want to get so give it to a surrogate have the surrogate have it put that baby up for adoption

have them come find me when they're like 18 so i get this 18 year old that looks like me i don't gotta do shit they're damaged but they're gonna be fun right they're gonna be funny we'll see what we'll just have the surrogate and then the baby's born and then you just pay like a nanny and that person raises it what if you have it then you go to the surrogate, and then the baby's born, and then you just pay like a nanny, and that person raises it. What if you have it, and then you go to the surrogate? Do you want it? You can just keep that. You can just keep that.

Do you want to keep it? It's not as cute as I thought it would be. But just no pressure, and then you could just do mushrooms and go to Disney with them. I mean, you definitely, at the very least, could sell it. Fetch a pretty penny quarter Asian pretty cute you know

it's like a white baby but got Asian brains because he's half ah that'll do it that's how that works that's the second dumbest thing I said

earlier I was talking about the Oscars and I was like what do they call the people who come out and present presenters I presented at

this uh it was my first presenting at a award show it was for the sound guys it was the cinematic what a workshop audio society is what it was oh wow big one so it was like a yeah like a side one or whatever and I I sang that song from because Amelia Perez people were in there and I was like guys I gotta I have like a bone to pick with you. You have this song stuck in my head, men to woman, penis to vagina. And I'm like, why is that song stuck in my head? Nobody sang it with me.

Everyone stared at me. They were blinking. They were so pissed. No way. It was an epic moment, though. Listen, you can't make the penis and vagina song and then not react when people sing it to you. I'm trolling you back.

I'm trolling you back. I'm trolling you back. But the Oscars last night, the Amelia Perez people won. Did you watch them? No, no, no. The Amelia Perez people. No, no, no. I'll watch them. Wait, if this is the same people, they just stole your move.

Did they sing it? The Amelia Perez people won an award for sound last night. And then they started singing the song and no one sang with them and they did steal it i literally did that one week ago to them and i go come on guys sing it with me it wasn't i don't it wasn't the penis and vagina song though but it was okay it was an amelia prez song and no one sang it and it was very uncomfortable because no one knows it yeah they know the penis and vagina because yeah they watched it on the internet psychotic clip we read some tweets

we enjoyed some fun tweets I thought Conan I saw some like clips of it I thought Conan was great oh he was unreal we were just waxing on TV again which was exciting

maybe YouTube I know you're gonna have to bleep that maybe YouTube will come along do you bleep should I be oh you should be we don't bleep much around these parts

everybody else does but um well that explains it what was your what was your highlight of the night of what i saw yeah um i didn't see enough honestly i liked i liked uh ariana grande's like her uh lampshade dress was kind of cool I actually they should have had people crawl out from underneath it during the Wicked opening I cried a little bit

were you moved by Wicked? it was one of those things I was like what the fuck is this? why the fuck is this happening? I don't know I guess Cynthia Erivo's voice moves to tears. I don't know. I was very confused. What was the opening?

Was it just her singing? It was just they sang Wicked. And then Conan came out. Did the movie make you cry? No, I didn't see the movie. I just have a problem with like. I saw the play and I was like, I got it. Now, I was this type of bully growing up that I like to bully.

I like to just knock down the alpha. You know what I mean? I bullied the bullies, right? But there was a little exception in college. The theater majors were so annoying that I really couldn't, like I was like, guys, this has to stop. Like you're playing piano.

It was supposed to just be a regular party. You're singing show tunes. This is a fucking insufferable nightmare. You're losers, yeah. So there's a part of me that's like, I can't get on board but i know that also all of those theater majors are like brad pitt you know yeah yeah but like the way that ariana grande and cynthia deriva were in those interviews is like what they are at the

part like those are the people too though like it's like just sit around and party and they're like no let's they're just like shut the fuck up there was something i forget i think oh i think it was when the costume designer won and the costume designer for wicked won best costume design and he like he's like cynthia ariana my muses thank you so much sitting gay or now when you're talking about i did have my foot he pointed the toe i I was like, okay. I can imagine you marching about now. I don't know why it is.

It's kind of more comfortable to be like restricted. I might be a BDSM guy. I feel bad for you guys. You don't get to have makeup. You don't get to restrict your legs. The makeup thing, we're finished,

but the makeup thing's crazy. We just walk around ugly. We just walk around ugly all the time. It's so fun. Makeup is? Yeah. I saw some chick on Instagram

just yesterday. The amount of some girl who had just a face full of freckles. She's a pretty girl but she's had freckles and she put on like 50,000 little dots

to rub it all in and then, you know, didn't have the freckles anymore. Do you feel like attacked as a freckle person? As a freckle man? Yeah, it's like my, what's it, my costume?

My culture's not your costume, bitch. What is it? My culture's not your costume. No, it's freckle face. Don't do freckle face. No, but here's the thing. You have a little smattering of freckles. It's cute.

This girl had Irish pale freckle skin, you know? Yeah. And of course, right away, all the comments, I think the freckles are prettier. yeah and of course right away all the comments i think the freckles are prettier no you fucking don't this girl had like a flawless face afterwards she had like professional she did her makeup like perfectly contoured and all that shit i think you look better before no you fucking don't you goddamn liars i know and they're like i love that birthmark right in your you're like no no you fucking don't like that maybe i'm confident right yeah there's something to it but maybe like the fact that i don't get that shit removed right away i was thinking about we were talking

about um on my podcast on annie what we were talking about we just got into the discussion of like when people have like big gums or whatever and i started to feel like i felt so why are you covering your mouth um no i felt so like it does suck when you talk about a thing that someone has and you know there's like some listener at home that's like i'm like gummy i'm like it's fine to be gummy like you do want everybody to find it it's good to have freckles like you don't want anyone to feel like targeted by what you're making fun of but also you want to make fun of freckles you're torn you're torn but just like torn. But just like, have you ever been listening to something

and they just say one of the things that's like, insecurity and like, huh. They said something about short teeth and I was like, you got short teeth? Yeah.

No, you did start kind of tightening. Short teeth, huge hands. That's the Jackie brand. Okay. Somebody said, the other day I was talking about

my huge hands and they said, it's because I have small wrists. Oh, let's go with that. I can actually see that. There's a spin zone for you. Really? Yeah, I can see that.

Are big hands a thing, or is that like from Seinfeld? It's from Seinfeld. Man hands. No, they're like all of it. Yes, but Jackie has bear paws, so it's a little bit different. But they also like... They're negging you. They're not that big.

They're huge. It's just we make fun of you for it. Yeah, they're huge. I mean, literally tucked it's just we make fun of you for it yeah they're huge and also it's like your hands like they're i got a tiny little fat hand you have the sausage fingers yeah i got i have small hands you you have bigger hands than me which is a bad look on me but i make fun of you first like you've got hands i always just feel like you're projecting yeah oh for sure yeah i'm just afraid our incredible. They would make their penises look smaller. That's exactly it.

They want to have tiny little hands. You should use one of those like plastic hands for baby hands. Put some wool on them. Get two of them. Good idea.

Or put them on your finger. You know, those little finger hands. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I have thought about that before. Thought about that. What? Do you have big feet? Not doing that. Not have thought about that before do you have big feet i'm not doing that not doing that what do you have big feet um i would say they're ever so slightly above average what size what size shoe do you have what there's a lot of guys one nine woman oh yeah i'm the same okay cool i'll tell you five six yeah i'm like the same size okay cool we're cool right yeah you guys are great yeah i mean like don't listen to us it's like yeah you're projecting no fucking kidding

yeah that's how it goes man so what were you saying about wicked and crying it was just the the the way that cynthia alviro or cynthia revo andvo and Ariana like got up. They just, and maybe it's because of their frames. I was like, they're just like chihuahuas.

But they're freakishly like tiny frames. It's just like it. It's like a chihuahua where like, but chihuahuas go nuts. You'd be like, what are you even doing?

Dude. Like that, every time they do something, I'm just like, what are you even doing? What is that? I've never seen a body make that move before.

Why are you doing that? They do look, they're like, they're very, yeah, the, the Ozempic has reached the skinny girls yeah you're going baby you're already skinny yeah

do you see a lot i was on it for i did ozempic for six months and and then i got off of it and it's but did you did you like it like how does it make you it's a nightmare no it's it's an eating disorder and a pill it was pretty dope aren't you sick and shit like you don't i had the number one best experience that i've heard from anyone ever yeah i've had no bad side effects it helped my add like i would not have lost my keys when i was on why'd you stop um because you just don't know what it is it's weird like i could eat have lost my keys when i was on why'd you stop um because you just don't know what it is it's weird like i could eat ice cream every day and be skinny yeah i mean it's crazy like that's not that's not normal how it's supposed to be wait i thought is that how it works i thought

it was that you don't eat it suppresses your appetite i just didn't have that i didn't have because we have we have a guy here dana who he said he's his like tagline is i'm stronger than ozempic because he takes it and he just keeps eating. You can eat through Ozempic. Everybody can. It helped with my just, I don't really obsess about food or think about food anymore. Still. After being off of it.

Is that why it helps with the call? I think so. You just stop being obsessed with it. And then it just breaks down the food. I don't know. See, I didn't even know what it was. I was just like, ding, ding, ding. Oh, you have to inject it? Yeah. Oh, I didn't even know what it was. I was just like, ping, ping, ping, ping. Oh, you have to inject it?

Yeah. Oh, I didn't know that. I thought it was a pill. Well, Ozempic comes as a pen. And then the one I had was just like a compound and I would draw it out. But I did my egg, so I was used to stabbing myself. Did you get like, I've heard of Ozempic face and Ozempic butt. Are those things?

Well, definitely my ass needed some work. And, but my, I stopped before my face went really but i told everyone i was on ozempic so then all the comments would be like ozempic face i'm like fucking shut the fuck up i don't have ozempic i look great i don't know what like is going on but downstairs so i'll get like a kombucha from downstairs every day and i have breakfast lunch and dinner and snacks in between and i also just get it whatever is that supposed to be a replacement like a just like i just like i'm just like i just like it feels like i want a soda but like i guess sure kombucha feels like you're being healthy it feels like you're being healthy i know it's not but like whatever i guess

for some reason they've developed a theory downstairs that I like, that is my lunch. And then I think that they have all talked about it because now every time I buy something, somebody goes, you should really eat more or like you should eat something else. I love that rumor. You're talking about like the, the downstairs winery. Like the employees.

There was, it first, it started with one woman. She's like, man, I don't know how you like only have a kombucha. And I go, no,

I like, I had a full lunch and like a snack. This is just, this is the drink. I had a full lunch and a snack. This is the drink. Then again, she goes, girl, I don't know how you do it. Again, I have full breakfast, lunch, and dinner. That's crazy. They didn't even say anything.

The guy, a separate guy, said, wow, you're eating something today because I had a bar. I go, okay, so are you guys trying... They have developed this theory that I have this eating disorder which i told is crazy and then they talk and then no then a third guy said something like oh like you're coming for your lunch today or something so i was like okay well now you guys are talking shit about yeah it's they probably call you like eating disorder girl i know but but which like but i clearly don't kind of like she's like kind of like skinny skinny thank you so much really thank you but like it's so the amount of times i've had to say no guys to these dwayne reed people no guys don't worry i had lunch it's

like something that should not have to be defending herself to the dwayne reed cashiers no there's one woman. And she definitely started the rumor. She was like, hey, guys. Well, that's what girls do. Bitches. I actually went down there and I paid everyone $10. I thought you were going to say, I actually went down on her.

I said, you know what? I'm going to go down on you. It was funny that you called her anorexic. I said, look, I know the girl upstairs doesn't eat, but I do. You guys go down there. That's crazy, man. Hey, Dwayne reed shut the fuck up and let me buy you know whatever embarrassing things that dwayne reed too it's like you really want them to be stone face have you seen something you can buy a generic like pharmacy now sex toys butt plugs

the whole night like the one the one by my house is like what is that i always knew about that section i've seen on tv you're like yeah it's a back massager yeah right there was uh the the cvs by me has legitimately kids aisle like toys board games and then like right next to it butt plug and it's also one thing like when they started with like some vibrators but this was a fucking butt plug and uh but you don't want a kid to get a hand on a butt plug because they do look like toys they do i don't know what they're gonna be doing with that thing put like a little face and mustache on it puppet show yeah yeah it's kind of wild i'm always kind of friends with the people at my right aid or my

my duane reed or whatever because you want to keep your secrets no i just i don't know you i just i get really like attached to my see every other day people i kind of i do too i actually introduced my for the first time i the guy we buy nicotine off downstairs i was like i talk to you every day man what's your name yeah i know their' names. Like the newspaper kiosk outside. What do you get? What kind of tobacco? Like nicotine. Like Lucy, like the pouch in your lip. But I finally was like, what's your name? It's Sia, in case you were wondering. Cool. They are cool. Do you really use the Lucy brand, though? I like the Lucy brand.

Is there the pop in this one? Not in that one but we have lucy is actually a sponsor we love lucy no seriously i love it that was a fun sponsor i know i know jackie's done one before i've done one before i didn't did go well like i've like felt cool for two seconds and i was not chill about i was like sweating profusely no there's eight milligram ones too where you're like, who is taking this? I had a phase where I was hitting it hard. But you had to ease in. You couldn't just like start with an eight.

Well, he's been doing it since he was 15. Are you so excited that the world has come around to your nicotine? Well, I had quit. So I chewed tobacco and I had quit probably like in 2020. Where are you from? Massachusetts. Really? Played hockey. Hockey was the go. Okay hockey okay okay okay they're like hockey and baseball yeah hockey baseball yeah massachusetts

are you from fall river it's like southeastern mass like by red island um bunch of poor portuguese people poor portuguese people with sausage um but i had quit and i was like i was like oh this is nice and then and then it became mainstream and I was like nevermind I'm back in so it kind of flew in the face of what I was trying to achieve with my life but we're okay there's just something about destroying ourselves

a little there's so much uncertainty we were locked up in our houses for two years it's like maybe I can control this one horrible thing. I like that. This one little bad thing. But I'm trying to do a dopamine detox.

So I'm trying to do cold showers in the morning. I know, but it's not good. No fucking kidding, man. I tried doing that, too, and I didn't. They're like, do it for a minute and a half. I'm like, how about 10 seconds? Dude, those sort of things. Yeah, like a minute and a half of cold water. It's just 90 seconds.

One second feels like a nightmare. And your body's shaking. Multiplied by 90. You're trying to be still and breathe. I think it's all made up. I think your boy Rogan poisoned the whole world. Well, some people say that it's actually bad because you're putting yourself. You're actually shocking yourself. you're aging yourself more i guess i don't i don't know what

the science is but i can i can see it working and i can see it being the extremes i can see being a thing though it's like you get like it's it's just like a simple like survival thing where you're like you get done with it you're like i fucking did that yeah exactly so you like have like that but like i don't think every day should be a survival i survived my shower today have better sex with blue chew blue chew is the original brand offering chewable tablets these erection enhancing tablets help men achieve stronger harder and longer lasting erections for sexual activities blue chew is putting its money where its mouth is and offering you a month for free. That is a month of boners for free with a simple process. You sign up at BlueChew.com, consult one of their licensed medical providers,

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Right now, a special deal for our listeners. Try your first month of Blue Chew for free by visiting BlueChew.com. For more details and important safety information we thank blue chew for sponsoring the podcast it's just not i believe in money is like energy and it's like you know like it's not like i'm spending this money feeling good maybe my business manager won't notice like 299 i know it's like unrelatable to say business manager but it's important for the story because I have someone that literally their phone dings every time I spend money. So it's so embarrassing.

Oh, my God. He'll be like at his daughter's recital and it's like ding. And he just spent this fucking money on this app again. God damn it. I thought we quit this. What does he say? Like how does this? So he doesn't say there's a thin line that they have to walk.

Yeah. Like if you wanted to be like, stop. No, he's good at being like, just my question. He doesn't say. There's a thin line that they have to walk. Yeah, like, if you wanted to ball out, would he be like, stop? No, he's good at being like, just do this. I was posting. I hadn't gotten a manicure. And I posted, like, a picture. I was like, my manicure turned two months today. And he DM'd me. I was like, just go get a fucking manicure.

Like, he'll do something. Like, go do that. You're embarrassing all of us. What would make him, like, what kind of purchase makes him speak up? There was just a, there was a time where. It's the heroin. No, they would know. Honestly, they'd be like, why are you getting cash out so much?

But when I went to Vegas for the fires, they saw me take money out. But I only took 300. I gamble responsibly when I'm in Vegas. I don't want to be in a bad mood when I'm in Vegas. I want to be happy. So, but they were like, yeah, we saw you take it. But I always bring it up to them. I go, you saw that?

They go, yeah, we had a conversation about it. Are you talking about $300 right now? What? You said $300. What? You took out $300, right? No, I just said I took, I only took out $300 in Vegas. I tried to gamble for a long time.

Right, but I'm saying, so like you took out $300 and like it was a phone call with your manager? No, no, no, no, it wasn't. But they said that they were nervous that that was my first takeout. God. Do you know what I mean? Like that I that i was just yeah just dipping the toe in the water they were like we saw you withdraw cash and we got nervous is that typical for a manager to have see your money like that it's just that he's a business manager so he manages my accounts and stuff and it's i mean i'm not good with money so it's you know but they had one email that they sent where they were like you have because i would just go to the dentist and any

like five thousand like if the dentist was like we're gonna give you invisalign give us five thousand dollars today i would like call my business like you cannot just be like saying yes to everything always i was just like i had had no money so that I had money and then now I'm like trying to be like oh I want to be good to money I don't want to be like I like the mindset of

money is energy because then you can convince yourself to spend it because you're like if I spend it on stuff that I love then more money

is going to come into my life it's all about how you like if you love when you spend money if you're like excited to spend it it's different than if you're like

oh fuck i'm spending so much money right now on a roof for my house which obviously you need but like you don't get any joy out of having a roof you know it's like fuck this it's like well it's gonna stop yeah no it is home ownership is a whole nother thing that i can't even imagine it's so expensive it's so stupid so annoying it's like you know if you buy a bag or shoes or whatever it is that is your thing you're like this brings me joy i don't the only reason i'm fucking fixing the roof is because there's rain coming in you know it's not like i wanted it it looks nice it's like cool and it's like you should paint a mural on the ceiling. Hmm. A little Sistine chapel action.

I don't understand. To be you and Tim Dillon. We miss you. No, but I, you know, but I also, so I'm looking at all my stuff cause we're going to move to another place.

Are you buying a place or renting? No, just renting. But we live in, in Venice and it's, it's a nice apartment, but it's an apartment that's not rent-controlled, so they can up the price so much that it's now out of the price range

of what it's worth. So we're going to move, and I'm looking at all this shit, and when I was being so hood-rich, are we allowed to say hood-rich? What do you call it now? Yeah. Hood-rich. I don't know what the other term is now, but I was so hood-rich that I have so many, like, bedazz rich that I have so many like like bedazzled I have so many

like Swarovski crystal things that I'm like that broke that I'm just looking at I'm like I just have so many things to pack where I think after my initial hood rich period I'm like oh I want to be more conscious of the things that are my thing you know I want to have things that I like I buy like

I buy like everything I'm like if i like that i'm gonna buy it and i was at uh i was like fuck what was it called it's i was in denver colorado and i was at a like a restaurant that serves uh rocky mountain oysters because i wanted to eat some and uh that's like yeah it's bull testicles yeah i was like we're in denver like let's fucking eat some elk and some bull testicles. That's how I feel. I'm like, I'm going to eat some balls in my mouth. They're actually not...

I call them Denver nuggets. It's not what I pictured. I'm sure it could be served a million different ways. Have you pictured it a lot? Have you always been thinking about it? I've been on a hot streak with wicked legs crossed. I picture it as two big balls Do they come in a sack? No, it's basically just calamari

What if you had to open the sack? Wait, what does it come as? It's basically just calamari It's just fried It was more of beef jerky than it was So they cut it? Yeah If I'm eating balls, I want to eat like an apple

I want it to pop in my mouth Like a gusher But we were walking out If I'm eating balls, I want it to be – I want to eat like an apple. I want it to pop in my mouth. Yeah. Gusher. But we were walking out, and I said to my buddy, I was like, I'm going to get one of these shirts. And he's like, I was going to, but I'm just such an over-consumer. And this is my buddy who I think of as like he spends money like crazy. He's such an over-consumer. This would be a dumb purchase.

And I was like – If you think it's dumb. I was like, if you think it's dumb, I really got to reevaluate everything. Yeah. I stopped buying things not like – I just don't – I'm like, I don't know where I'm going to put this. But think about with your kids too. You had so many toys throughout their life that then you're like – and then they don't want to get rid of the toys. You have to sneak get rid of the toys. I bought so much shit for Christmas that they just didn't even open.

Of course. That I just put back in the closet. I think I'm just going to give it to them again. But if you look at how they react to presents, that's how we're dealing with our stuff too. It's like we're just getting the thing for that initial rush. That's why I did it. And you want to see the joy.

I was wrapping the presents and I wanted it to look like you have a big pile to open up. Right, of course. Almost more so than having all the things is that you come down and there's – my daughter wanted a bunch of like makeup stuff and it's like you know it's like little tiny shit right so it's all the things she wanted but it was like this big of a pile that sucks so i you know i actually took a fucking i took some board games that were just in the house and i wrapped them up she opened up a scrabble you take out each the pieces of the game when she opened up a scrabble it was like a scorecard that we'd already played with. She's like, why is this a little metal thing?

Yeah, no, it is. But I just have been thinking about that too, where with the dopamine, and I'm making up my own. I looked at some videos on dopamine detox and I'm like, that seems so unfunun where they're just like staring at a wall all day but I do I was being more conscious of the fact that you know what I used to when I was anxious at night I used to wake up with like ruminating thoughts and I would buy jackets how psychotic that sounds great but my closet's like filled with these jackets it's cool to have jackets and then you know three days later I'd forget about that anxiety and then this jacket would arrive but i'm like are there other things i could be doing could i be writing a joke could i be drawing new merch could i be doing something that's like helpful to my life rather than just but jackets i mean i i have this syndrome that you're speaking of i don't

i don't know what we'll call it but like I have two and a half closets of jackets jackets are like the one because it's like they're cool they're nice you know like a t-shirt's not going to make you feel better but a jacket you're telling me that outfit doesn't make you feel better

no I am the king of comfort where I'm like I always do want to be comfortable But like a nice jacket Is something that I It's like that Seinfeld episode Where he puts on the jacket You like feel different

In a nice jacket I don't understand why I don't get suburbs I don't think people in the suburbs Should wear jackets So I bought I have a million jackets I don't really need them

That's what Like if you're not walking around It's like I wear a jacket To the car And then to the office. I guess the walk in the office, but that's about it. New York's a little different, but I've been driving more this winter and I don't wear a jacket out. I'm like, I have a big jacket.

I got to squish in the car with this. I know. And you're stuck in the seatbelt. And I got to fucking put it on the back of my chair. And it's not like, I mean, we're on basically TV by being on YouTube all the time, right? And it would be cool to have these cool jackets on but you're not gonna just sit with a jacket on. I thought about that

so many times coming in here. I'm like, I'm gonna do the show in my jacket today and then I sit down and I'm like, you would look like a fucking Sebastian.

Like Sebastian's the only one that can pull that off. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sitting here in a leather jacket or whatever. And the other thing is I have so many good jackets that are like fall

and spring jackets. There's like a seven day window for those. It's really hot or really cold and those are the ones that i like are like you know a nice like you know in between and it's like it's now way too hot or way too cold instantly i kind of go i wore this last year let's get a new one yeah that's also true it's very funny that like if if it's not like i mean yeah there's different styles that you know evolve but like a leather jacket is a leather jacket. A bomber is a bomber.

A motorcycle jacket is a motorcycle jacket. But once you own it and you've bought it and it's a year old, it's like if I had never seen that and this was 2025, I would buy it. But I know I bought it last year. Fucking hell. I do this every single winter where I don't have a jacket. And then I'll be like, well, I'll like have just some kind of makeshift jacket. And then I'll be like, okay, I'm going to buy myself like like a good jacket but then it's kind of like too late in the winter and

then i go all right well next year i'm gonna have a lot more money so like i'll be able to get myself a really sick jacket and then next year comes around i don't have money i pull out the old jacket that i was like i'm never gonna wear this again like i've got my new sick jacket and then i just go okay but i'll eventually get my like splurge and get myself and then i just don't and now i've done this yeah i've never bought myself well jackie is um she's gonna marry this dude at a thrift shop the thrift thrift shop that you can get your jacket there and that can be are you a thrifter no it's a hard sell it's like for people who can do it right yeah and i did why you don't like it because it's

used like clothing yeah yeah i saw somebody i think i was saying this on here like some guy on tiktok was saying like he is like really bad jock itch that like he can't get rid of and he works at a thrift store and i kind of was like come on well i guess also it's like vintage versus like thrift shop i think yes right like there are like used clothes places that are like high end yeah versus like yeah the idea of it is cool right we're over consuming we're having too much stuff there's landfills filled with like like sheen slut clothes there's so much fashion nova like thong outfits and indonesia or wherever the hell they are but and i and you know you could get cool vintage stuff but it's also like do i want to sift through all the shit like they have the nice the thrift stores where they've

already kind of cured those and you're spending 150 on a t-shirt yeah i did get a cool shirt i got this really cool shirt that says mbc sports and it looks very 90s and big and my twin brother works at mbc sports so i got that in a very weird kind of I don't know I was like am I doing a romantic gesture for my twin brother maybe he'll like me back is he in there or not

we also should note that Jackie's thrift store crushes gay you forgot to like explain that part. I don't think you knew it until... Is that the conclusion that we came to? I don't know. I'm going to this story.

He said the past... He goes, oh, so you're not just handsome, too. Right? Well, was it Frank Lloyd? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I offered to help him with something, and he said, so you're not just handsome, you can do other things.

Well, the mustache is gaybaiting. I didn't have the mustache. You're very like right after the Menendez brothers came out for you to look like this is really not fair to the gays. Not fair. I think it's flattering, though, to get hit on by guys, right? Yeah. Hell yeah. Dude, a gay guy and a black dude like those.

You get compliments from those guys and they mean like 10x. How about this little eight year old black girl on an elevator that goes, I like your shoes. I almost gave her a vape. I almost gave her a vape. Yeah, that's it. Do you understand what you did for my confidence? Look at – wait, where's your modeling pictures?

They're not on Instagram? It's on Del Toro. Oh. Paz gets hit on by gay guys more than anybody I've ever seen. I think Paz is like hot. I rocked a mustache for the first time in front of people I know this weekend. And only dudes compliment it. Every Italian should shave it tonight.

Clothing company like model. Oh, yeah. I would love to give you a popper and spread those butt cheeks. Let's go. Did he let me borrow some baby oil, my love? Cute. Did they reach out to you? No, we went with, this is all through Fights.

Fights started this, but yeah, they reached out to us a while ago. Yeah, Fights went over to Italy to like. Did you see any pictures of me in there? I know. You didn't make the cut? Well, Fights went to Italy to. What did they Facetune do? Dude, I would love that.

He was modeling like their shoes and stuff, and then he went over to shoot it, and you know, he would love that. He was modeling their shoes and stuff, and he went over to shoot it, and he stole the star. And they were like, oh, there's a better looking one. But yeah, that guy's gay, but I still want to go see him. Basically, I had a thrift store guy. I literally stumbled in because I was cold, and I was just like, I just need to warm store guy like I or I walk into I literally stumbled in because I was cold and I was just like

I just need to warm up maybe I'll find something maybe I'll find something the hottest guy alive no he's really hot how hot is he because that's the other thing

she's hot he's really hot he's so hot it's so hot that when I walked in I said thrift store that's the guy yeah yeah yeah

I called Jackie Reddick wow can we like launch his Instagram career I feel like we can I was thinking that I was like we need to like get this started

what if we start like a whole project I want to make sure he's gay first and if he's not gay I think also he's gotta be gay? I feel like we can. I was thinking that. I was like, we need to like get this started. What if we start like a whole project? I want to make sure he's gay first. I think also he's got to be gay because I feel like some bro would have

fucking hit the dot by now. Sometimes these soft voice boys lean in for a kiss are like, whoa. Really? I did not expect this. The Nazi not coming.

Holy shit. Yeah. Anyways. But yeah, he rejected, or no it wasn't a rejection but it was just like

Jackie went in like three or five ten times he's always making me buy a jacket I'm always he's like why do you only have

kombucha I heard from Dwayne Reed that you have an eating disorder what happened to Jackie is what happens to men every time they go to dinner

or go anywhere I think this waitress is hitting on me she's not she's not she me trying to make some fucking money you would be like a nightmare as a guy in like a strip club yeah you would be like oh she loves me jackie would be so susceptible to that so you felt a vibe you went back and then there was i i then I go back.

Then it starts to get creepy. Then I'm kind of like... It was three times, right? It was twice, but I lurked in the window like two other times. And he saw you? No, no, no. He didn't see me.

But yeah, but it was kind of like, hey, you know, that girl who's been like coming by, you know, a lot. And he was like, I don't know what the fuck

you're talking about. Like she went enough that I was like, I bet this guy like remembers you and probably this guy like remembers you and probably wants to like you know New York's so fun

dating in New York was fun you're like I could just meet a guy at some store yeah I know but that's so not like me like I don't

I don't know how do you like to meet guys online um like at a bar I guess or mutual friends yeah so old school

how'd you meet your fiance he worked at the comedy store in the basement basement Todd I plucked him now he's an emmy award winner Todd now he's an emmy award winner for what yeah he worked on uh this he's a story producer for a bunch of Netflix reality shows and it was the show called making fun the one that I mean no big deal but he's doing he's gonna go on location for his he does a a uh like survival show and so he's gonna be in like Panama or something for two months like what like a bear grill sort of thing like it's called outlast so it's a yeah that's when you hit the button no that's dealer no deal island which by the way when i went to that award ceremony joe magniello was in the and i just walked in and went deal or no deal island baby what do you say he said yeah you should come on

the show they're like so annoyed when you bring stuff out yeah i don't know what that how that show works but i saw the tagline said over 200 million dollars in prizes given out that can't be true well the 200 million it's all a chance right because oh so that okay there's like one case that's worth 200 million dollars that you could never fucking win no i would guess it's all the cases combined are worth okay and then they're gonna they're gonna keep giving you offers you get offers from the banker that you pick out a case and then you have your case right and no No, I mean, I know how a no deal and no deal works. But then they give you, what are the chances that you got the $10 million case?

So when someone offers you $1.5 million, you're going to take that deal. Yeah, again, I know how a deal and no deal works. By the way, welcome to being a woman. You just mansplained the shit out of me. I just got chat GBT plus and I was like, oh, men are out. Men are done. I got mansplaining right here.

Break it down to me. It's over for you, man. How often do you use chat GBT? Well, I just got it, but I'll ask it. I had one of my friends friend dumped me and I put in her text to me. Because I was like, this is like a shitty text. I've done that before, too, and it did not give me the results I wanted. And I was like, this is bullshit.

I got perfect results. It was like, you did nothing wrong. She's projecting. You guys are putting in fucking your own text conversations and being like, analyze this? Yeah, it was awesome. I did it once. I did not win. My fiance's life i i i swear to god i i put it in and then when i got the answers i was like looking at the text

exchange and i was like that doesn't make sense and i almost was like there's context that you need to understand this is insane i felt like tommy i'm like i'm talking to a computer to just give me an answer that i you that I can just fucking tell myself. Kevin, I say thank you to it. I go, thank you. Thanks for your time. So what do you guys do? Are you taking a screenshot?

Are you screen recording? Are you just copying? I think I just cut and pasted the text. Yeah, I cut and pasted it. You guys are nuts. That chat GBT gave me confidence. Well, I saw someone else do it. And then I was like like i want to do that

oh no they do you can manifest you gotta use it i yeah i would fucking love you can do like you can ask it like hey um these are you know my goals can you give me a day in the life of my dream life and then they can make you a visualization that you do yeah you would eat that up yeah i would really eat that up it's's helpful. Which, ironically, Manifestation and everything is like a for you page. It's like the more energy you give to something, the more it appears, the idea behind it. Yes. So it's like. You woo-woo bitches are crazy, man.

No, I can hear how crazy it is. Wait till she's dating that gay guy. She's going to have a gay-ass boyfriend. You're going to be eating your words. You're going to be eating your gay ass boyfriend you're gonna be eating your words you're gonna be eating your balls and eating your words but wait so what what other things are you putting in the chat gbt i'm trying to like i've only had it for like two days so i'll be like um you know i was having anxiety about something and i asked i mean i know this is so fucking psychotic but i isn't it better for me to... It's basically I'm talking it out to myself, right?

Okay. With this thing. And then rather than put it on someone else, because you don't want to... I always feel like a green room hang as a comic is so important. And if I do a show and I don't like my performance or something happens and throws me off, am I going to go back to the green room?

Bring them out. With my vibes? Or am I going to like take a deep green room, bring them out with my vibes or am I going to like take it on that computer? Right. When in reality, I ruin the vibes. Then I go and chop you GBT and go, is it fucked up? I ruin the vibe. I think a lot of people use it like as a, you know, instead of Google.

Now it's just like you can ask more specific things. Google, Google, I get. I just use Google. But like, I didn't know people were analyzing. You're asking computers to analyze real-life interactions? It's crazy. Yeah. Well, you're asking a computer who's never had a real-life interaction.

But they're going through more. Depends on how much you think. Define real, John. Yeah. We'll see how it turns out. How much do you pay for Plus? It's like $ bucks a month i think what's your business manager say about that try google first month google is my friend was my

friend right was it rude i ordered coffee when she called me what's the average penis size too if you wanted to make me feel good about my penis what is the average penis size, too? If you wanted to make me feel good about my penis, what is the average penis size? Just talking about taking space. You can train it. You can train it. I always thought the weirdest thing about all the OnlyFans stuff is how much dick rating is a thing. I don't know what's happening on OnlyFans. One of the main things they do is is like

you send me your dick and i will like rate it for you and talk to you about your dick all of them like pretty honestly or are they being nice because we're all like oh my god it's so big we learn young to be like i don't have to give you finger pants that's like the the fin dom guy who I was talking about like would send me pictures to do decoratings

but then I was like the whole point is that you like being humiliated so now I'm confused because like I'm assigned to like you know

it's ingrained in me to be like oh my god how did you did you use panorama yeah how did you did you have a selfie stick

how could you possibly have taken this from outer space you know what you bitches say that but then like as soon as as soon as like it goes south and and somebody gets dumb it's like you have a small dick it's like well fuck but also that that never under i never understood that. Because like,

your first girlfriend can do that. After that, you're like, well, I've been with other people. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know who's going to help you?

Hold on. Shot GVT. Like, if you've had sex with 50 people and you break up with your girl and you're a little dick. I'm 35 years old.

I've had sex with a lot of people also also i'm 35 years old i don't care if you really if you care about your dick over the age of like 17 you're out of your fucking mind man i did meet a woman at a meet and greet in milwaukee who does penis uh her job is penis enlargement uh-huh so she puts implants in but you have to pump you have to pump the balls before it gets big we heard about that who told us about that

one porn star we had on she's like any dick you see in porn she's like fake I was like really you have to be so insecure to mutilate your dick and then pump it. Is it even like feel good?

I think it's like you have to pump it to get it hard. Yeah. Which is crazy. Kind of weird. Just when you're old on your deathbed, are you going to be like? Well, that's kind of cool, though. Like, if I didn't have to mutilate my dick to do it it'd be cool to just be like you know I'd rather be in control of it than not be in control of it

like uh I don't know I'd be like I think it'd be like putting on a condom like I'm turned off now but the problem is that you can't control like when you're trying to put the condom on you can't get hard I'm gonna get hard do you think that condom companies

are in cahoots with Valtrex? Because why have they not perfected condoms yet? Well, they have. It's just that part of the perfection is that you have to wear them. But there just has to be some way to make it not... You're like an anti-masker right now.

If we're all doing it, it would have been gone by now. We should just all get herpes, give it to our children on the way out, and then we're all doing it, it would have been gone by now. We should just all get herpes, give it to our children on the way out, and then we're done. If everybody just had it, you know, it's like... Didn't they cure AIDS? It's like, we're fine. We might have a little drippy dick or something.

Yeah, it's so like... The dick surgery and the guys who are now just getting straight up heightening surgery with your legs. Scary. Like you gotta be so so insecure. Like just get funny before you're breaking your bones and like putting pipes in and shit. I know.

Hideous hilarious men. Right. Especially men. Ugliest men that are funny. Yeah. Like I mean height is different than ugly I feel like. Height is if there is an equivalent for a dude height is the problem. But like girls will fuck fat guys short guys whatever just be funny and rich yeah but there's no like before you start breaking your legs it's don't get me wrong it's obviously insane but like it's the same thing uh go with a woman with breast implants no you're like you're cool you're hot

why are you doing i know but but like you have to to relearn how to walk. Yeah, yeah. Your tits heal, whatever. You are at a physical therapy thing with a walker. It's not like you're going from five foot to six foot. You're getting five eight to five ten. Just all these pins in your knees. It's going to be weird when you go through TSA. Everything's going to be different for you. When you're old, that's going to be a nightmare.

I know. I think everyone has such short sighted views on things. Cause you are like, there's no way that they can know how this is going to affect you when you, in 30 years. Yeah. Right. As somebody who's like had plastic surgery,

I like you, you do a calculation of like, well, nose job, breast reduction, reduction. A nose reduction and a breast reduction yeah they were like

saggy and not cute pepperoni or salami nipples yeah technically let's not spread our own wait what do you mean they're not anymore they trim them down they uncrustable them and then they just like right around the room. Wait, what do you mean they're not anymore? They trim them down. They uncrustable them? Yeah.

They have to crust off? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then they just like... You gotta make up the difference somewhere. That's how an uncrustable got invented. A doctor was like...

They took the cup and they just... They didn't work on a PB&J, too. It's essentially like that. Nipple-sized... How? They were really... I thought that was a joke. They were salami?

Wow. But that was all... It was all proportional, right? Like if the boob is huge, the nipple's huge. It was also just kind of like weird color. Weird nipple, Jackie. You could probably get a tattoo, right? You could probably get it like blushed.

It was just like, guys, I don't really want to get into the details, but just trust me on this. You did a good thing for yourself. I did a good thing for myself. And what I was working with before was just i didn't know if it was gonna be fixed well they fixed it like pretty well amazing they can do it all what was i saying you were saying that when you get a surgery you have some kind of calculation like is their therapy gonna be able to fix it quicker or is augmentation gonna be able to fix it quicker and or like augmentation is usually ayahuasca

okay yeah it's like whatever but like with the leg thing like that's something where therapy is gonna be a quicker fix than like yeah yeah like stop being a pussy man no you like you must not have any friends like i before i let my friend like break his legs and shit i i don't know i'd hoist him up on my shoulders i'd yeah i carry him around the city and that's why you need to get a good jacket it's just like i have to turn this off um what are you doing at work these days? You got Annie Wood? I'm doing Annie Wood.

I'm on tour. Where are you on tour? Johnston would stand up now. Where are you going? Nowhere. He's nervous. He got nervous. No, it's fun.

Do you like it? I do like it. Yeah, it's fun. Who are you opening for? Francis. Cool. Yeah yeah it's fun who are you opening for? Francis cool yeah it's cool he invited me on

he just showed me his tour date and he's like come on any of them and I was like I'm gonna come on all of them I haven't told well I guess I have told him that but I don't think he knows I was serious but yeah it's fun well if he offered it

you should just follow up because he probably meant it I had unless you bombed really hard the first time no I didn't I didn't have any bombs. I had probably, in a weekend, I probably had two good shows, two fine shows, two so-and-so shows. Yeah, everyone.

But they were not the normal hours, is what Francis said. I think it was a Saturday night show, which he had said was usually the best show, was atrocious. Was it wasted? Not even. No. It was like we were doing it at this club in D.C. And the green room was right by the front door. Is it the one that's a hotel room?

Yes. Yeah, D.C. Lock. I actually love that it's a hotel room. Yeah. There's two beds in the green room. It's very uncomfortable to be sitting in there. No, no. have to be alone you can't have anyone else it's like you're definitely gonna have to kiss for that um but like so like because you obviously know where it is now like the other shows all weekend we'd heard the crowd come in right and then it was like seven

o'clock saturday night i'm like i don't think anyone's even in here yet and then we open the door like oh it's full they just came in very quietly um so that show wasn't great but all in all it's been they stayed quiet the whole night they stayed pretty quiet they would they would do they would laugh at your joke but then stop laughing right oh it's so annoying yeah you just trust me right right yeah so are you how much time are you doing um 10 to 15. Yeah. That's fun. Yeah, it's fun. I know. It's so fun.

It's a good adrenaline. Like, you definitely get that. After the first time, I was like, I see. Because it's almost like we were talking about with the cold showers. It's just like I accomplished something. I did something that night. I did something that day. It is hard to have such a big rush at the end of the day, though.

It's so psychotic. It's like before you go to bed, you're like'm just gonna have this crazy pop of adrenaline do you still get like the adrenaline rush right yeah yeah yeah did you buy any uh weed at the store at the dc store dc club uh i don't think i was smoking weed then dude they were just selling drugs oh i actually got mad at them because they had some some woman before my merch and meet and greet. She was selling mushrooms and weed. And I was going, who? Okay, someone's like, I got an extra 30 bucks.

Are they going to buy the mushrooms and weed for a shirt I drew? I'm like, guys, put her after me. After me. I believe her name is Madeline. I bought some mushrooms off her. Instead of a t-shirt it's hard to buy drugs when you're

given them so often like it's hard to justify the purchase it's so easy for me that's Jackie's life didn't you isn't that like you wanted to be you wanted to do more drugs

oh you wanted to be given drugs oh yeah yeah yeah Jackie's mad she doesn't get offered coke yeah I never get offered coke oh but you always get offered coke by the most coked up person in the world and you remember why you don't do coke. You're like, no, this is why coke's bad.

They're like sweating. You're like, I don't do your coke. Ew. Nasty. I don't even get offered that. Like, I don't, nobody, whatever. Maybe their nose is too cute and little. And my wrist is so small.

We don't want our big hands knocking the line off the mirror. Whatever. My Dwayne Reed people think I'm hot. Yeah, they're gossiping about you. Yeah, literally gossiping about you. That's pretty exciting to be the most popular girl Dwayne Reed. You got anything specific you want to plug?

Just go to my website, Annie Letterman dot com slash shows. I'm going everywhere. I'm like going to be. I mean, I guess I could pull up my dates. May as well do that really quick. What do we got? We got February, Milwaukee, March. I did Milwaukee already. So I'm doing Anchorage, Alaska on the 14th.

I'm opening for Louie in L.A. and then I'm flying day of to Alaska. That's dope. I'm just doing one show. It's crazy. I'm doing my Annie Wooden Friends March 18th. I have that's at the Comedy Store. I have Tiffany Haddish and Harlan Williams are going to be on it I'm doing Philadelphia I'm going home for one night

March 27th Healing Comedy Club in Philly one night Then Toronto the rest of the weekend And then I'm going to be in La Jolla doing my comedy special So come see that April 4th or 6th I'm just going to put it on YouTube Kansas City and then Florida. But go to my thing.

It changes all the time. Follow my Instagram. Atta girl. Thank you. We appreciate you. I'm going to be in New York this week. I'm going to be at the stand 10 p.m. on Wednesday and 10 p.m. on Thursday. I have T.J. Miller, Tim Dillon, and Maddie Smith on.

And then Thursday is T.J. and more more people so we'll see come see us okay សូវាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប� Thank you.