KFC Radio - We're Training for The Next Olympics... Ft. Rocky Dale Davis

Episode Date: August 3, 2021

Subscribe, Rate, Share, and Leave a Review! Subscribe to our youtube: barstool.link/KFCRADIO - The internet is stealing from Feitelberg AGAIN - KFC gives a standing ovation to Feitelberg and his 6-minute puking video - Flora Gill has one of the most ridiculous tweets of all time - If you had 4 years to train in the Olympics, what sport are you choosing - Top 5 Breads - Voicemails - 01:48:47 - Rocky Dale Davis on being followed by The Rock, his enlarged a**hole and a story about his enlarged a**hole, and doing comedy after a pandemic Let us know what you think on Twitter: @KFCRadio @KFCBarstool @Feitsbarstool @JNics415 @nickhammy5 @Joshua__DM @mikeypavssYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. That's my camera right here. Hey, Vin. Hey, Diesel. What's up? Your stupid-ass name is, bro? Rockin' Rough and Rowdy.

Yeah, dude. You're singing sucks, okay? And if you want to throw down that Rough and Rowdy, you little puffed-up bitch, you can catch these hands. Don't fuck with DJ. That's my friend, The Rock. The TV's The Rock, okay. Don't fuck with DJ. That's my friend, The Rock. The TV's The Rock, okay? Don't fuck with him. Catch these hands, bitch.

Rough and rowdy. It's another edition of KFC Radio on the Barstool Sports Network. It's KFC in Feidelberg. Olympics we got going on. We're going to get into all that. We got our top five coming later. We got an interview with Rocky Dale Davis Jr., which is just, you know, if there was a white trash Olympics, Rocky Dale Davis Jr. would be the Michael Phelps of that shit. Just you talk about murdering an appearance.

He did it. Yeah. Like he even talks about bombing. We kind of mentioned how like when you get a shot on a podcast now, it's like a task. It's like a challenge to knock it out of the park. The same way it's like when you get on The Tonight Show, you got to make sure you nail it. And you get on the right podcast, you go on Rogan, you go on Burt Kreischer,

and you have a good appearance that can go a long way. He said that he bombed on Burt, but total opposite over here. He was awesome. He was a very funny, funny guest. There are some times where I'm like, you could probably just pause the interview or pause the podcast once we're done and skip the end. Yeah, yeah, tack that on, whatever.

I would not. I would not. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's at the back half here. We'll get into a bunch of other bullshit too, but if there was an Olympics of you coming up with shit on the internet and motherfuckers stealing it, you would get the gold medal. Yeah, I would.

You would be the gold medal, bro. Feidelberg, you know, king of things, the king of virality that nobody would ever know. And the latest to add to the list is this fucking guy on TikTok MILF Patrol 6969420

if I get fucked by someone it's MILF Patrol 696969420 now I will say that that is at least tongue in cheek if it was a guy who was like MILF Patrol was just like Milk Patrol, like 69, that's it. And it was like, yeah, this is cool. Clearly, he's at least trying to be funny and maybe has some sense of humor.

But he put out a TikTok that's going mega viral that is just 100% John Henry Feidelberg proprietary information. I mean it's a story I told. It's IP. It's your intellectual property. I guess he came out with it the day after a podcast, probably, I guess, Cuomo. Neither Cuomo, I would guess, was the time I told it most recently. Yeah, because he talked about it a million times. I've told that story a million times.

Feidelberg's, you know, it's not even a story as much as it's a tactic, a way of life, a piece of advice, and a way to get out of a deep, dark jam. And he tells it all the time. Most recently, like you said, talking to Natalie Cuomo episode last week, what do you do? It inspired an ATI question. What do you do when you pee in the bed when you're with a chick

or anybody, guy with a girl, girl with a guy, when you're in bed with somebody and you wet the bed? The question in ATI is, do you say anything at all? Do you own up to it or do you just let it be? And then when we did the podcast, when we answered the question on the podcast, Feidelberg told his method, tried and true. Take a can of beer, take a bottle of water.

I believe he tells us a can of beer. I've always said bottle of water. Bottle of water, because that does play better. You grab a bottle of water. You put it in between. You take the top off. You put it in between you and her in the bed. And it looks like you were drinking water.

You went to sleep. It was in your hand. You dropped it, whatever it is. The bottle of water spilled while we were passed out drunk in the bed, and that's what that wet spot is. A very reasonable thing. It's an amazing thing because that happens. You wake up in your clothes.

You wake up with chips on your chest. There's food. There's drinks. A lot of that shit happens when you fall asleep. And this motherfucker just tells that story like word for word. Can I hear? I have not heard you. I just heard about this.

I'm very easygoing. I'm like, oh, maybe these things are different. Yeah, John will tell you. He'll give you the benefit of the doubt and be like, nah, I mean, a lot of people could say that or whatever. This one's a pretty specific one, so it's an uphill climb for him. And the timing of it all. You ever had corn dogs like this? Nah, I've never had corn dogs like that.

But have you ever been invited over to a girls' dorm? You're a freshman, you're at college, and you're both drinking and hanging out, and you're drinking beer, and then you both start taking shots, and so you're both pretty drunk, and you go to bed and do whatever you do when you're drinking and go to bed at another girl's dorm. And then you wake up extra early in the morning, and you find out you pissed yourself because you were actually pretty fucking drunk. And then you look around the room trying to figure out what to do, and you pick up a beer can, put it between you, and go back to sleep before she's waken up yet. And you wake up to her yelling about how the bed's wet and what's going on and so you wake up and then you act like you just found the beer can in the bed you're like oh shit i must have you know spilled the beer in my sleep and then she's like oh you know and she starts apologizing to you because she feels like

she made you drink too much last night and then she gives you a ride home but it was actually just piss in the bed has that ever happened to you it's a pretty it's a pretty damning one because it's also it was it was like come on there were parts of it where it almost feel like he was trying to remember how it goes yeah like like stumbling over a story like that you haven't you haven't told because you just heard it for the first time yesterday. Come on. Flattered that you listened. Flattered that you stole it. Good for you

going viral, you rat motherfucker. Milk Patrol 6969420. I need a couple more 6-9s in there. Yeah, that's a pretty... Let's call a spade a spade. That's just the story we told on the podcast. That is intellectual property thievery.

I mean, it's funny. I think it's funny that he stole it. Because it's one thing when people take things when we, I don't know, just 10 years ago when Barstool wasn't that big anymore. That was yesterday. It's pretty easy to tell. We're a pretty fucking big show. And it's just like, yeah, no, we heard it.

It's like, I heard it. I heard it. That's my story. That's fine. I'm not upset about it. Again, congrats on being viral. Let's just call it what it is. That's my story.

I just don't get, and maybe, you know, like my dad works in the real estate world, and it's just so well known for like when you put in a big budget just put like 50k in over budget and we're just gonna like hand it out to each other you know what i mean like it's the easiest business in the world to be like a wise guy and just you know to be on the take and ride the gravy train and my dad like never never did it he was always like a stand-up guy about it my mom was always like what the fuck are you doing you know what i mean and it's it's because he just wasn't that kind of guy. He was like, I just don't do that.

And my version of that that he passed down to me is like I would just never in a billion years tell someone else's story or just copy their tweet or whatever. The tweet copies. People made bank off that. I know. Which is like I'm Phil Werrell. And then he just quote tweeted any fucking viral tweet. Literal cut and paste. I tweeted tweet copies. People made bank off that. I know. Which is like, I'm Phil Werrell. And then he just quote tweeted any fucking viral tweet. Literal cut and paste. I tweet my own.

You know, not even a tweak, not even whatever. Like, just like, oh, I've seen. And people just do it like, people who aren't like, parody accounts. Like, some people just, a lot of people just do it. Yeah, yeah. If you just search, like, I'm drawing a blank, but there's a ton that just always resurface

and if you just search i'm also drawing a blank but yeah there's you search that phrase it you'll see tons of people saying it and it's a personal you know it's like one time that happened to me and they're all saying it and i just can't imagine ever doing that and but it's also like the same way my mom was like what the fuck you idiot take some of the money it's like i don't know maybe i should maybe we'd be going viral. I would just steal a really funny story and pretend it's mine. I mean, we would be going viral if we just used TikTok and peaked. I know.

We would just do it ourselves. Like we have the ability to do all this. But you know what, though? Also, yes, you're right. But it's like sometimes, no. I don't know. Maybe it just works because that kid has the floppy fucking hair and he looks like a college freshman. I don't know. Maybe it just works because that kid has the floppy fucking hair and he looks like a college freshman.

I don't know. Maybe you never know why it works and why it doesn't. Yeah, but I thought it was sort of like, aren't you a weird old man who pissed the bed? Right. For real. Hey, you guys see that TikTok of an old guy peeing? Are you in your fucking 30s, dude?

So fuck that. What we should do is we need to like Milli Vanilli this shit. We need to like ghost write for these fucking kids. You know what I mean? I'll write the story. You fucking like kiss the camera or some shit. Lick your lips and flop your hair and tell a funny story. And then you're the full package.

He's hot and he has good stories. Like, yeah, no, they're ours. The ugly guys in their 30s have the funny stories, girls. Yeah, we're like in Sunny when they have Rickety Cricket do the painting and Charlie's the face of it. I will be Rickety Cricket. Yeah, man. That's our specialty.

We've developed a personality. You don't have to have one. We'll have it fucking for you. We had childhood drama. You grew up in San Diego and went to the beach, bitch. You think you get to be – You've been tan your whole life.

That's the difference right there. Bro, I was hanging out with my friends at that bachelor party. I have one friend who particularly is obscenely jacked, like in too good of shape for someone who – he has a regular job. The only people I've ever seen in shape like this are like movie stars and trainers and like fucking bodybuilders. And I was just talking about like how fat and gross I am. And this girl I talked to was like basically being like, it's okay. Like, you know, it was like, you're allowed to be fat.

You're allowed to be gross. It was almost like guys like that, guys who have hot bodies like that, like, you know, you don't want to be them. I was like, no, I very clearly do and I'm not. And it was like, no, but you have a personality. It's like, I know, but I'm also gross. It was like the most backhanded like, it's okay. Guys like that, they're fuckboys.

You're not a fuckboy. It's like, well, ipso facto, you're telling me I'm gross. You know what I mean? It's just attractive guys. Yeah, yeah. Man, the world is – Dude, there was – at the beach this weekend, there was a guy. I did a full month on the Jersey Shore.

Never saw, like, a gorilla juice head. That's not the part of the Jersey Shore I was in. And then just this one dude. And, like, I don't even think he was, like, a guido. I don't know. I think that's one of those things that's been kind of bastardized and lost what it really means. He's just a guy who's jacked. I didn't talk to him.

I don't know what his personality was like. Right. But he, like, in an all-time move, he was constantly drinking from a protein shake all day. And he went in the water with it. Like, bro couldn't be away from his protein for fucking 10 minutes. Just a quick dip.

But you know why? He puts it down on the beach. Some other bro steals it. Another gorilla juice head's like, oh, free protein. Like, he's just out there floating in the water belly belly surfing or body surfing waves and like with a fucking protein shaker that is next fucking level it's insanity yeah they i mean they're a different breed they are aliens man i wish you got to see some of that because i mean i've always said when the when the jersey shore came out and that and

that was like a phenomenon that swept the nation and people were like, these are aliens from another planet. And I was like, that's Frankie and Tommy and Johnny and like all the kids I went to school with. That's just like my friends. Those are just like people I know almost. It's when you see them in action, man. I mean, it's like it was just that there was a phase in like middle school, high school where they all just started to like wax their eyebrows. I was like, what's going on? You guys all have pointy eyebrows now.

And they all got the same dumb tattoos. And then they all started doing ecstasy. They all started doing steroids. And it was these phases where I was like, you guys are just not even humans anymore. What the fuck is going on? We did the eyebrows thing with Green Shoe Hooligans. We just put the slit in our eyes. The slit.

Yep, yep. I did the slit to my buddy once. And it was way too thick. I did not either do it right or we didn't have the right setting or whatever the fuck. And I was like, and he was like,

how's it look? I was like, looks like you have three eyebrows, bro. It looks like I chopped that shoot in half. Might want to check a Google real quick

on how fast eyebrows grow back. Yeah, man. Not having having if you don't have uh i feel like not having eyebrows like like charlie villanueva with the alopecia you can get away with not having hair you can be bald you don't have eyebrows your whole face is off not not only just these little you know you have to wear glasses but also it's because i know someone with it And he's like The worst part about it Is when I sweat

There's nothing to catch it It's constantly Just dripping into my eyes Oh wow You don't think See there's a point to eyebrows And eyelashes You don't have them

You're in trouble man It sucks breaking a sweat You don't really have When you get When you're not Horribly sunburned Red and orange When your eyebrows

Get blonde Yeah It looks like you don't have When eyebrows get blonde uh yeah you just it looks like you don't they get blonde like my hair no no no nope when they get blonde like blonde bro i'm blonde right now like like we've been joking around a little bit like like like like there have been times we make making a couple jokes about this thing it's just i mean i have definitively blonde hair right now. At this moment. I mean, I can't believe we're still talking about Simone Biles

and what she will or will not compete in, and I can't believe we're talking about John's fucking orange hair. There's just no eyebrows in that picture. Yeah, that was last summer, right? I mean, just nothing. You look like Charlie Villanueva, man. Yeah, I mean, that hair, it really is dependent, I guess, upon your skin tone. That bitch is blonde.

But Nick literally today, he put your hair color into Photoshop and made a fucking square. He tried to trick us. It looked like he was making a graphic for us. And he said, do you guys like this orange for our graphics? And we were like yeah it's fine and it just turned out it was final break's fucking hair color i don't understand how that was my hair color so he like took a like you take a little it was literally just zoomed in to one pixel of your hair and it was orange like it was just orange that's and when you saw that you didn't

speak up but he said do you guys like this orange and you were like yeah whatever yeah it was yeah it's kind of like uh first of all the the answer was no. I didn't like it. I didn't want to hurt something Nick had worked on. So I was like, yeah, yeah, it's fine. The answer was not, that's not orange. The answer was, I don't like that orange. So guess what you don't like? Your fucking hair color.

It's blonde. It's blonde. And the funniest part of all of this, I can't get over that. When you texted Fleischman and she said, come get a haircut, and you're like, no, I got this summer thing going on. It's like, it's orange. Your summer thing is orange fucking hair. I never said a color in that.

I just meant the fact that I'm not doing anything. Yeah, you got your summer shaggy thing going on. Yeah, I never said, like, I'm a blonde bombshell. I let other people say that for me. Who? Who amongst? Who has said blonde bombshell? People call Margot Robbie a blonde bombshell and John Feidelberg.

Down the shore all weekend, everyone's like, Jesus Christ. Oh, yeah, I'm sure. I'm sure, yeah, you and your girlfriend from Canada and shit. When I was down at the beach, everybody says it, dude. People would come up to me like, by the way, we went to, I don't think it was a gay bar. I think it was just a bar that was really gay. And it was, dude, we were there. That's great.

It was the gayest place I've ever been in my life. I've been on Pornhub before where you don't click off the gay tag. And so I've just seen dudes fucking and that was less gay than what was going on at this bar. I'm going to admit something and I don't know if I should because maybe this is one of those things

where it's like your computer decides on what you get. But I got a pre-roll. Usually it's like some girl fingering herself whatever it was just a chick with a dick man and she was just like oh yeah and i mean it was a hammer and i was like for a pre-roll like usually if you're into that like fine but you got to go searching for that that's not usually even on like the front page let alone a pre-roll i clicked on something else i get i had a category going, and you gave me something. You took a

shot in the dark, like maybe they'll like this too. And I clicked on it. That's getting mainstream, which I think is something we'd argued before, which look, you get the best of all the worlds. It's just mathematics. You just got a dick, four sets of boobs,

more boobs, and hairless body parts. And you need the dick. It's better than watching a strap-on. No one wants a rubber dick there. I think I said recently on a podcast that I just learned it was men who had transitioned rather than women with penises. I had never put that together. Like... You're special.

I was just like, why is it weird to watch chicks with penises? Because they're not. Because you're watching... You know what I love? But the reason I said it's going mainstream is because I follow Phoenix Marie on Twitter, and she recently retweeted a Brazzers video, and it was her fucking transgender woman, I believe is the terminology, and it was the Brazzers' first transgender.

Oh, it's happening at the moment. If Brazzers is doing it yeah it's big time it's it's mainstream any other sponsor in the world i'd have to go five minutes i might have to go 25 minutes this was i was attempting to just talk about hair for fleishman and we ended up talking about that whoops but whatever you're still listening and now it's time to make sure you get all your fleishman hair products i can't time to make sure you get all your Fleischman hair products I can't wait till you You get like your

Like the summer cut that you'll eventually get And there'll just be a pile of orange on the fucking ground It'll look like a fucking parking cone In there at Fleischman Salon I'm actually gonna save it When I was a kid they used to It was so weird The place I got done, you didn't save it

You picked up, I think it was just the way I got done. You didn't save it. You picked up. I think it was just the way they got child labor to do things. You picked up your own hair? I would pick up my own hair. Not the full thing, but they'd sweep it, and then I'd pick it up. And then I'd put it into a vending machine, and then it would give me a toy. What? You would put your own hair

Into a hair vending machine? It was like Can we get a Google search for this? It was like vending machine-esque And then I think there was like I think there was It wasn't like

I didn't put it in like a dollar bill It was kind of You just put a pile into Like basically a change slot And then you could just pick your toy And I don't I don't understand it. I will call my mother and confirm that this happened, but it was really, really weird.

Every story is almost like he lived on a different planet from us. There's the wild ones, but even the regular ones where it's just like, hey, yeah, you know when you get a haircut and you have to clean up your own hair and put it in a vending machine for a toy? No, I do not know. It was where I went. Actually, because I went to two, like, in my younger years, I went to two hair salons.

One was in Fall River. One was in Swansea, Mass., right by Maroffice, which is a great restaurant. And I can't remember which one it was. I think it was the one in Hill. We got to get our girl Fleischman to put a fucking hair vending machine in there. Everybody do the Feidelberg. Clean up your own hair and she'll give you like a fucking, you know, it'll be like an adult version. Like a nip will come out.

You get some whiskey or some shit like that. You get one of the hair products. You put in your own hair and out pops the hair cream or the hair paste or the sea salt spray or the conditioner or the shampoo. They've got everything you need. The hair gummies. The hair gummies, I would argue, are the most important. The rest, for sure. You've got to make sure you clean your hair.

You've got to make sure you style your hair. It smells good and all that. But as we get up there in age, the hair gummies that help grow, that help the hair on your head stay shiny and thick and stays there so it doesn't fall out, that's the most important part. And if you are in New York, I say go get your haircut there as well. But if you're not in the area, you can still get the Fleischman effect, which, I mean, it'll change your life, man.

I mean, I went from a weird – I was looking through old pictures, which I got to show you some non-hair related. But old pictures of me just looking like a fucking – I looked like a rat. I must have been really skinny at one point and i had these like big ears and a tiny neck and like no hair it must have been like freshman year of high school-ish so yeah graduation young but i was like always like the same i was never fat i was never big i was never skinny i was like always just kind of like the

normal person but i don't know i must have always just kind of like the normal person but i don't know i must have lost a lot of weight one summer or some shit and i looked like a i i was so skinny my ears got big like when your ears comparatively speaking look big and i had the worst hair and then that kind of stuck with me until she got a hold of me and uh changed my head of hair completely uh so and i mean this summer when i mean trying to keep my hair like looking styled this summer it's like when it's hot and sweaty you need like the full kit so uh i recommend doing the we got you covered bundle which is everything you need the whole kit and caboodle or you can do the boys of summer which is the uh styling products plus the hair gummy to promote the hair growth

so you can mix and match what you want you can do a la carte carte. You can do all of them. You can do one of them. Some of them gets all delivered right to your door. And when you do a bundle, you get 15% off. And when you use the promo code KFC, you get 20% off your whole order. So that's Fleischman Salon, F-L-E-I-S-C-H-M-A-N, salon.com. Use promo code KFC and get double the savings with a bundle and the code

to make sure your hair is on point. We're going to do some Olympics talk in a second. We got like a segment on us doing Olympics. We'll do a top five Olympics related. I watched the video. It's very rare that I would watch like a six-minute video of anything. Certainly not like one thing. The six minutes of you puking on Lowering the Bar is one of the funniest things I've ever seen.

I couldn't even watch it. I know this is a crazy thing to say, but it's like jackass level of funny in that moment. I was laughing as hard as I ever laughed at like Steve-O puking or Knoxville puking. It's art. And because now Vibs is used to it, so he knows to not break character and not stop. I mean, he's just like talking about

whatever the thing is you're eating, completely stone-faced while you're like like and the gargling noises you made and the faces you may look at your face you're like at one point you're like guys come on you're like begging for mercy and the noises at one at one point he like starts to cut into and you just go like oh come on oh come on man it was like rudy's jesus christ like jesus christ man oh come the fuck on man why are you doing this to me it is i swear to god this is not a joke my obliques are still sore i bet i mean you were you were retching you were from from the side of it. When he goes, shall I just gloop it out?

And you're like, yeah, I guess. Like, sure. The fuck, man. I mean, the noises are. And wait, wait, wait. The first puke that comes out. Look at that. It's like a baby spit out.

And then this one is a waterfall. I watch this like the Zapruder film. The first one's like a baby. And then this one is coming. It just... It just falls out. It just falls out of your mouth. Man!

Look at your back muscles. And really, whatever that was. I didn't do that one, thank God. That one was particular. And then he holds it up here. When he holds it up to you, you're just like, oh my god. Look at that thing. Look at that thing.

And you run away. What am I going to run to? I can't run anywhere. And then the snot. Oh my god. The snot is just vile. I cannot believe. Oh god. Oh god. Turn it down. vile. I cannot believe. Oh, God. Oh, God.

Turn it down. We don't need to puke in the studio. I can't believe you took a bite of it. I thought you were going to be like, all right, you got your show here. I'm not actually going to eat it. The fact that you actually put it in your mouth is astounding. It was bad. It is.

I know it's. It's the lining of a cow's stomach. Yeah, what is that for? Is that you're supposed to just eat that? Yeah. It's a North Carolina is where they eat it. It's the lining of a cow's stomach Yeah what is that for? Is that You're supposed to just eat that? Yeah It's a North Carolina is where they eat it It's like a southern thing

America? Yeah They eat this in the United States? Yeah Brandon was like Oh I've had that before I think I forget if he's had Pig tripe or beef tripe

But he'd had it He said They eat chitlins Which I've heard the name But I don't know exactly what it is. Chicken feet? What is it? Chitlins and chicken feet.

Chicken feet? Yeah. What the fuck? You know what's funny, though? I mean, like, what's more disgusting? You know, it's like people eat pig balls. People, you know, they eat it. I saw on a TikTok the other day, it was somebody, like, brining, I think.

Is that what it's called? When you soak it in, like, sea salt and stuff? I believe so, yes. Cow tongue? And, like, you think. Is that what it's called? When you soak it in like sea salt and stuff? I believe so, yes. Cow tongue? And like, you think a cow tongue is big here? A cow tongue back here? I mean, he plopped this thing down and it looked like this fat, like just lump

of, but you can still see the taste buds on it. And I was just like, what the fuck? But people eat tongue, people eat liver, people eat balls, people, you know, so it's like, I don't know why I'd be grossed out about the stomach because all of this shit's gross. But organs are not for me. I don't think I eat any organs.

I only eat the meat, the muscles. The muscles and the fat, right? I don't eat any. There's not an organ that we eat commonly, right? I don't believe so, no. Nothing that's like a body part. I've done foie gras before. That's duck, right? Yeah, duck liver. Oh, so you do's like a body part. I've done foie gras before. That's duck, right?

Yeah, duck liver. Oh, so you do eat it. Fuck you. I've had it before. It's not like a regular meal I eat. Pig intestines. Pig intestines. Yeah, I'm not doing it.

Technically, skin's an organ. You eat skin. Technically, I'm going to slap you in the head. You know what the grossest thing of the whole entire like low in the bar thing while fights was puking while fights was puking casey smith is just sitting there watching and she's like eating a salad and like enjoying it it's like normal like she's so used to it there is certain things the reason i say jackass is like because i mean they do a lot of shit too but there's like certain things that are just funny and like getting hit in the nuts is one of them like getting hit like any sort of like physical like pow like

violence is funny and then puking is to an extent there's sometimes it's gross sometimes it's weird sometimes it's like hacky but with you it's just so real and raw and that's why it's funny when people like you think this is an act you think this man can do that on command? Are you out of your fucking mind? Not only is that impossible to do, but if someone could do it, who would do that to themselves? Oh, come on, man. It infuriates me when people think it's fake. Do you think I'm enjoying that?

You actually are. Vibs and Colin should you like a fucking nice gift at christmas you're a must-see tv on lowering the bar every week saturday fights live is six minutes of fun on saturday i mean i watched i watched it and rewound it i actually had to stop myself because i was like i want to make sure i still think this is funny when we put it on the show because i was like i'm gonna watch it so many times. It's going to just become – I mean I rewound it like this is a Bruder film. I can't – there was some times where I would like burst out laughing by your – the gurgling, the noises that came from you were not even human, man.

It was spectacular, dude. So go watch that. Just like last night, I just – it's because I just like – I think I put it on my favorite part of being sick. I just like making noise, and it's one of those things that it's gotten to the point where it's – I just do it all the time now. Dude, when I just – Dude, wait. What are you talking about? Just like make noise.

Oh, yeah. You're always – you get up and you're growling. And it's one of those things where it's become like a self-fulfilling prophecy where like the more people call it out, the more I do it. Yeah. where the more people call it out, the more I do it. But, dude, I was just sitting on my couch last night. I got spicy edamame, and I was just sitting there eating it and yelling. Just like, ah, ah, ah. I was just down it for like 15 minutes. I was like, ah, ah, ah. I didn't try to eat.

You're like a literal gorilla or something. I could have stopped at any point, but I just wanted to keep eating it hot. And Mom, I was like, ah, ah, ah. Were you alone? I don't know what's worse, is if you were alone doing it just to do it, or if you had company and it was like, stop growling, dude. I'm trying to enjoy my dinner here. You know what is really funny?

I saw the clip of that dude on PMT, the runner who has the mullet and the mustache. And he had a very funny clip where he was talking about how much running sucks. And he was just – you could just tell that he's like a funny and ridiculous guy. And I was like, that's a great get on the show. And then I was like, I literally have that every episode. You know what? I don't know. It happened with Lowering the Bar because I was like thinking about how many people were watching that and laughing at you just being this orange-haired, mustachioed, ridiculous person.

But because you're just like my best friend, it's like, that's just John. I don't see you for what you are. It's like if you're dating a really hot chick, eventually she's not like the hot chick. She's just your girlfriend. You are not the fucking cartoon character to me anymore. You're just John.

But I have to remind myself that you're goddamn ridiculous. That's the nicest thing you've said to me I think yeah you're just my platonic life partner and I forget that you're just sitting there just growling and grunting and yelling and making noises it's amazing ridiculous you should hear me You should fucking hear me

When I try and get dressed Oh god Getting dressed That's gotta be a battle Dude I was getting dressed This morning This morning It was afternoon

I had to get dressed 3pm today And I Even there was one Even I was like Jesus Christ Come on Clean it up

I just like bent down To try and put my sock on. It was just like, I'm going to see. Oh, yeah, because my legs are sore from the beach. Puking? Walking on sand? And I went down and I was like. It was, bro, bro, you want to talk about the beach?

We were doing some drinking on Saturday after we left the bar. That was gay. And we got to the water, and I tried to do, like, we were just kind of hanging out at the beach spot, and, like, Pat had mentioned a few times, like, we should go in the water. And I just took off running to try and, like, beat everyone to the water. Well, you got me. And I tripped, and it was one of the – i haven't seen i still have sand in my ears oh you spazzed out you just tripped on it by yourself like yeah i just

tripped i just tripped running in sand so you were like i'm gonna get you guys and then you ran just face planted like an asshole but it was one of those ones where i caught myself and like i was stumbling and as it's happening, I'm like, dude, just fall. Just fall. What you need to do there in those spots is jump. If you're stumbling, just get two feet and jump and just cannonball into the ground. Then it's over. Then it's just done. I haven't

seen it. The PFT was very upset. No one was filming, but he's like, that was truly an all-time fall. Like when you fall for like 15 yards. You would have got a first down. That's when you stumble at the line of scrimmage and somehow get the first. And then the first thing that hit was my fucking ear, which is why I still have sand in it.

And then I just rolled over on my neck and flipped over. It was a mess. And then that happens and you turn around and everyone's just like. No, they all started running. So they all passed me. I did start a race. everyone's just like, no, they all started running. So they all passed me. I did start a race. It was just like. Dude, Pat, by the way, I catch him in the kitchen today and he's like filling up one of these, you know, revitalites.

Like you can tell he's struggling. And he's like, man, I just I've had this headache. I don't know what it is. I've had this headache for like four weeks. I was like, you've been drinking for a month at the beach. And he's like, no, no. And he said something like he referenced you. And I was like, he's like, oh, I've been spending time with him.

And I'm like, yeah, this is how he feels all the time. You're just feeling like Feidelberg is. And he's like, no, it can't be that. I'm like, yeah, you're getting old and you're drinking every moment of the month you're gonna have he goes no because i didn't drink it's just like a permanent thing i'm like yeah that's right bro i was with him right well i think you meant like right now the hangovers i'm just like no it's a permanent thing you got now yeah your brain is going to hurt for a month now that's just how it goes you assholes um and then and then also you know you're 30 years old you you

don't drink you don't eat right and you don't sleep right yeah your body's gonna fucking hurt if you want to get a good night's sleep uh and that's the key to it all man to keep not having a bad brain and a bad body achy body is having your helix sleep mattress i mean outside the studio right now we have a helix Sleep mattress that got sent here that I'm going to... I'm swapping out my old mattress and I will be on the Helix Sleep mattress. No, you're not.

It's going right on that floor right there. It's going to be... We need a communal bed here. It's a studio mattress. How about that? The KFC mattress and the KFC gerbil. We'll just keep in here. Imagine the gerbil sleeps on like a king-size bed.

So the whole team will have the Helix Sleep mattress for when we need to take a break. I know it's been late nights for a lot of you guys, so we'll just have the bed on deck. We need to have this be like a padded room almost for probably many reasons. But if it's just like in the middle, you want to sit on the chair, you want to lay on the bed, whatever. Guests can come in and just lay down. So, Helix Sleep will customize their mattress for you, so you know that you are going to get

a good night's sleep. It's not just like a generic one off the rack. You know, you're going to do this test, talk about who you are, what you like, what size you are, what your preferences are, and Helix will match you to the perfect mattress. So, they have different kinds, different you like, what size you are, what your preferences are, and Helix will match you to the perfect mattress. So they have different kinds, different firmness, different sizes, different materials.

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You're going to put yourself in the plus-size category? I put myself as a plus-size sleeper, not a plus-size person. Oh. I get bigger. You take up so much space. Yeah, I get bigger when I sleep. You get that mass. You lay down and it spreads out. Yeah, yeah. when I sleep You get that mass You lay down It spreads out

Yeah You're like a puddle of ooze It just spreads Yeah I'm like an egg That gets cracked into the pan Yeah Like an oil spill You lay down

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Like a gas Just whatever Size You put the gas in It just fills that space Yeah yeah yeah That's you when you lay down Yeah You get a gas, whatever size you put the gas in, it just fills that space. That's you when you lay down. You get a twin-size bed, you're spilling over the edges. A king-size bed, you're going, you know, doesn't matter. You just keep on going.

So if you want to make sure you get the right mattress for you, all shapes and sizes, go to helixsleep.com and use helixsleep.com slash KFC and you get $200 off plus two free pillows. So, you know, that's a value of like $200 plus, I don't know, $15,000 because pillows are so goddamn expensive. But you get a comfortable set of pillows, a new mattress that fits you perfectly and you get $200 off all that order, all your orders when you go to helix h-e-l-h-e-l-i-x sleep.com slash kfc i was happy uh we'll do a little i keep teasing olympics talk we'll get to in a second but olympics talk has uh turned up some ruth conda type vibes really like after the election the ruth condonda Forever Awards really just kind of died down because people stopped being such just ridiculous

assholes on the internet. And the sports and the pageantry and the national pride has started up again. And I think that's just kind of permeated back into Twitter because we saw an all-timer this past week,

weekend. Didn't have to do with the Olympics, but I think it just kind of swept through the entire app. But this girl, Flora Gill, holy moly. This tweet took my breath away.

This tweet knocked my socks off. For someone who peruses the internet, particularly looking for outlandish tweets to be like, ha ha ha, look at you, you're ridiculous and dumb. This one might take the cake. This would probably win. I don't even know if we'll have a Ruth Conda Forever Awards ceremony this year because the election's not happening.

But if we do, this is the heavy frontrunner. Flora Gill says, someone needs to... I mean, right off the bat, you gotta know that this is not a good idea. Someone needs to create porn for children. That's about as damning of an opening statement as you can get. And she says, Hear me out.

Young teens are already watching porn, but they're finding hardcore, aggressive videos that give a terrible view of sex. They need entry-level porn. A soft-core porn site where everyone asks for consent and no one gets choked. Which I actually understand what she's saying. I understand completely what she's... I agree with

the woman. Then since... I think that the bravest people are often mocked at first. And one day, Flora Gill is going to be 100% proven right. What she should say is, like, well, I do understand what you're saying. Because people under 18 do have sex, right? And people under 18 do watch porn. But in the sense of like you're talking publicly about these things, she needs to maybe change the wording up a little bit. Don't use children.

Don't use minors. Say things like, you know, for young people having sex or people just starting out to have sex. To follow up with the next tweet saying to clarify children means under 18 I'm talking about 14 15 and 16 year old I mean we've got several chances here to abort to pull the parachute here and she's just like nope I'm talking

about minors watching fucking man and yeah you are right I mean when I was 15 years old I was watching porn and doing weird things when I was like 12 I thought the butthole was the sex hole because I accidentally watched anal porn first. Right. Would have been nice for a clarification.

Right. I was like, Jesus Christ. That's how it goes. But what that is. But what that is, is called health class. Yeah. Oh, yeah. What she needs to say is we need just like better sex education.

Being like, let's,'s you know come on children like come to my website it's porn for you is fucking insanity insanity but smart and then i actually what i love from her but also like you would like as a 12 year old who you know i probably started watching porn i was probably 12 or 13 or something i don't remember exactly and like i wouldn't go i wouldn't go to this website. I'm going to go to the one that says you have. By the way, you know we just abandoned IM18 Enter? Did we?

I mean, it's not on Pornhub. Yeah, but that was always, I think, for, like, paid. Like, I think if you go to, like, realitykings.com, they'll still do it. Really? I think so. But, like, I feel like they were on the website. Maybe I've been wrong.

But, like, I remember, like remember always feeling proud that I could – If I go to browsers.com – I'm really smart because I learned how that I don't have to be 18 to hit IM18. I mean, let me tell you this much. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look at it. Yeah. I guess it's – but it's not the IM18.

Right. But it does say age restrictions and all that. I will tell you this much, and I hope there's someone out there listening to this. I can't imagine there is, though. If you have ever in the history of the Internet clicked, I am not 18, take me out of here, you're the biggest loser to ever lose. I definitely have, just out of curiosity what would happen. Okay. That's fine.

What is it? Does it just take you to, like – I don't remember what happens, but it doesn't like – It should take you to a website called imaloser.com. And it should say, you're a fucking loser, kid. Like, could you imagine being like, all right, I snuck out. Like, I snuck out of bed. I got down to the family computer.

Mom and dad's asleep. I'm going to go to porn.com and it's like are you 18 you're like oh well fuck god there goes the plan no god this haiti's bears defense here how am i supposed to get past this i'm not 18 whatever will i do enter your birthday and you're sitting there like trying to gear up you're like uh liar liar you can't can't lie i mean that you have got to be the biggest pussy on the planet if you said no i'm not just give me a break but this girl does follow up with the tweet that i got a real kick out of because it actually showed she had a little bit of like self-awareness when she goes just apropos of nothing really i think if someone deletes a tweet it shouldn't be screenshotted and like you know

shared forever just like let it die no no one else agree like because she did also had a tweet being like i realized that this is like being taken out of you know context so i'm gonna delete it it's like yes well that doesn't fucking matter uh yeah but porn for kids well imagine that like not a good that's your profession you go into? Let's say this happens, and people are like, what do you do for a living? It's like, oh, I work for 1-877-POINTS-FOR-KIDS. And I do fucking consensual sex. You're like, don't worry, it's not weird. 90% of the video is me saying, you can fuck me, you can fuck me.

And me filling out consent forms. And then it's just a real quick blowjob. Don't worry, he doesn't spit on me or slap me or anything. It's not a face fuck. It's not a face fuck. Not a blowbang. It's just like. Not a blowbang here.

Really, I'm more putting my mouth on it than not a blow bang it's just not a blow bang here really i'm more putting my mouth on it than just giving a blow job do you know what this is is uh is the the porn they make in girl next door remember that movie yeah yeah remember he says like we're gonna make a because that's why in the end the parents watch it and they're like this is this is good because it's all about like using condoms and like oh make sure you're in love with the person it's already been done it's just girl next door but you're so right there's no way you could ever do it because no one would ever watch it you need to have like the hardcore porn stars somehow we've consent and condoms and shit in there yeah or just i don't know throw the kids to the fucking fire yeah you're gonna get slapped

in the face and spit on it that's's it. That's sex, kids. That's how it works. And now I'm the one. Fuck. God damn it. You win this round, Flora Gill. Curses. All right.

Imagine if you're like, as a parent, and again, let's say this thing happens and this thing comes out. And as a parent, you're sitting down, having a discussion with your significant other, being like, so should we get, John, just like the porn pass for kids porn? It might be beneficial and educational sexually. And like, I don't know. I don't know, babe. I don't know if we should really do this.

And then they call you downstairs. And they're like, John, we want to talk to you. It's like a Christmas gift. How about that? Yeah. And you're stalking. You get like a little, you know, enter this code. You get the kids porn. Mom, you got it.

Santa got me the kids porn. Because if I had like a fucking to a pay site. Yeah. Instead of having to go fuck around on. Freeones.com. Yeah. Like you give me a pay site. A high quality HD 4K go fuck around on freeones.com. Yeah, like you give me a pay site. A high quality HD 4K.

I'm watching fucking. Fuck yeah. I'll go to this site and then it's all just putting on condoms and shit. I mean, listen. I'm at the point. Here's all I'm saying. If you created a porn for kids, I'd watch. No episode in the history of podcasts has been demonetized on YouTube.

Dude, that is so fucking funny. I was just getting in an argument with somebody, and I was saying, I don't think that the term little boy should ever be used. They were using it. They were like,

oh, when I was a little boy, and I was like, Don't say it. You can't. But they were like, why is that weird? But you backed me up on that, boy, and I was like – Don't say it. You can't. You can't. But they were like, why is that weird? And then I was – but you backed me up on that, right? It's weird.

You can't say it. I mean, I think – As a former little boy. Like if I was talking about my own kid, you want me to say something else? I don't think that little boy should ever be used in context unless it is talking about pedophilia. Wow. So you hear little boy, you're immediately thinking about little boys having sex. Well, no.

That's what it sounds like. That's what it sounds like. When I hear little boy, I just think about a young kid playing. You're like, pedophile. So whose brain needs to get out of the gutter here? I don't like how you just flip this around on me. Okay, what's your name? LL Cool F or some shit?

No, you're FF Cool J. FL Cool J. FL Cool J. What's FL? Fellas Love Cool Jackie. Jackie's trying to get her nickname to be Cool J. And I'll tell you the number one way to not be cool. To walk around having people call you FL Cool J.

Couldn't even believe you knew who LL Cool J was. Do you know what, like, you don't know any of his songs, right? Do you know, like, anything that he's done? Could you name anything that L.L. Cool J's done? Music, TV, movies, anything? Do you know what he looks like? Yeah. He sounded not too...

Yeah, that was a no. No. I think it's like, you tell me what he did and I'll tell you if I know it. I feel like that defeats the purpose. Yes! What's his hair look like? Which one's LL Cool J?

There we go. Did you just pull up a bunch of black eyes? That's Ice Cube and that's LL Cool J. And I just know what Ice Cube looks like. He wore a hat for the first LL Cool J and I just know what Ice Cube looks like that's probably that was a bad that was a bad he

he he wore a hat for the first like 30 years of his career like you did not see him without a hat it was like a big deal

when he took his hat off he always had a hat on wait so then what's his hairline oh so that's why you asked it he's got he's bald

he has a hat yeah he's just a bald black guy it wasn't like he revealed like a mohawk. But he always had a hat on. So you're saying I need like a thing like that. We're like.

Oh, no, that's not at all what I was saying. But okay, let's run with this. No, no, I'm going to get like a thing. You need a thing. That is exactly what Kevin was saying. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So what's going to be your thing? I don't know.

Because you got to be like, okay, I'm Jackie at home. But like when I come here, I'm FL Cool J because I wear. Maybe it's like I like... Maybe you should exclusively wear overalls at all times. I've tried it. They don't look good on me. I don't think I agree. You need something that is your patented look.

I feel like a snake on my... Just like draped. You know, like that. Your accessory's gonna be an animal? on my just like draped you know like that that would be kind of cool your accessory's gonna be an animal you're gonna wear

a snake around your neck at all times I'm just gonna feel like it's like that's like it's such a statement yeah it's a statement alright

I don't know I just feel like it's like you hang out with friends you go on a date you show up to the place bam snake like toxic

I don't wanna show LL Cool J up But like that Like if Like his thing is a hat And my thing is a snake Like I'm immediately The better Cool J

You know I think There was I think a lot of his coolness Was based on things Other than the hat Yeah I think that hat

Was a nice Add on He was the only guy Wearing a Kangol That looked Something reasonable Yeah and fucking Bruce Arians and Samuel L Just took that from him Yeah they did They did Because he stopped Wearing the hat That hat was a nice add-on. He was the only guy wearing a Kangol, though, that looked somewhat reasonable. Yeah, and fucking Bruce Arians and Samuel L. just took that from him. Yeah, they did.

They did because he stopped wearing the hat. He was just like, I'm just going to check Jackie's Twitter. Any highlights? I feel like we should just do not even Jackie mean tweets, just Jackie tweets. Yeah, so this all came from, by the way, that do you think LL Cool J is LL Cool plus J or LL plus Cool J? Her brain is just backwards. It's just so ridiculous. 25 mismatched socks.

That was impressive. Yeah. That was funny because Feidelberg chimed in and she was like, I don't think you like to stand on here. And I was like, I'm watching. You are like Ghosts of Christmas Past for Feidelberg. That transition. If a ghost time traveled and transitioned, it would be Jackie. We need to stand together on these things.

So you can't come at me for these things. You guys need to stand together as like the circus acts. Oh, this one's great. This one I love. I know this is besides the point. Besides what point? This is just out of thin air. But technically you can put toothpaste back

in the tube if you just kind of like shove it back in there. And that's ridiculous, but this is kind of better. I feel like the saying should be you can't unsalt whatever you salted. That you really can't do. You can't put toothpaste back in the tube, but theoretically

you could just smush it in. You can't unsalt a cow tongue. You can't put toothpaste back in the tube, but theoretically you could just smush it in. You can't unsalt a cow tongue. You can't unsalt a cow tongue. Start saying that. Start running around town being like, you can't unsalt. You know what I mean, guys. You can't unsalt a cow tongue. Watch people just puke.

She's not wrong. You cannot put even one single grain of salt back in. That would be ridiculous. There were people who were like, you can just wipe salt off. But I was like, Nate. But you can't put it back in. You can wipe toothpaste off too. The whole point is that you can't put it back in. Alright, that's the highlight for Jackie Tweets today. You can't unsalt your...

You can't unsalt your... And you said that's what she said. Because I shoved it back in. I was thinking like toothpaste and salt. I was like, what are the kids doing in the bedroom these days? Maybe I really am older than I thought. All right, we're going to do our Olympic segment here. This tweet went viral on, I think it was ESPN or some shit.

If you had, what are the circumstances, 10 years to train? Four years to train. Four years? Jesus Christ. I mean, this is silly, so we might have to change some of the parameters, but if you had four years to train in any one

Olympic event, what could you win the bronze medal in? So how about some Olympic preposterous confidence is brought to you by Notion. Not all work collaboration tools are created equal.

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at something? You agree with me, right? Yeah, of course it's preposterous. Well, there have been times on this show, probably many years ago with different hosts and whatnot. I mean, Dan would tell you he could fucking win the 100 meter dash. So, now I do, you do have to add in some of the answer the internet

type hypotheticals where it's like, I'm going to assume I'm rich, I don't need a job and I literally just do this. But that's also what Olympians do. They usually don't have other jobs. No that's also what Olympians do. They usually don't have other jobs. No, a lot of Olympians do. Well, for the big events, yeah. But I mean, they're still,

it's not like they don't, they're practicing all fucking four years too. Yes, yes. So it's not like you get the drop on them that much. That's two today, Jackie. You dropped yours too. What? You dropped you dropped i dropped scissors earlier let's go got her jackie the queen of the fumbles thank god you're not on the football team uh so i'm gonna say what would you realistically i guess let's talk about the events first and then what would you realistically need to actually be – like I think it needs to be like 20 years.

You know what I mean? Because my whole point being that they're also training too. It's like if the rest of the world stopped and you were the only one training at it, maybe. But while you do nothing but train for four years, so are they. So with quite a head start. Right. And in shape. Yeah, and a different body than mine.

Yeah. Which is hugely important. You need to start this shit from birth, bro. You can't start when you're 36, fat, old, and disgruntled. So I think the two that stick out to me that I'd have a chance maybe would be sailing yep i'd pick that one for you and i was like this motherfucker's been on fagawi boats or some shit but i'm not a good sailor but i just at least i have a team yeah so right like i'd like basically anything where it's just like just me and it's out done that's how i need to be able to rely on other people yes yeah um so like

you know it would be hard for me to make the team. And sailing, it's funny to think of, like, what makes you a good sailor. Because you do have to, like, be in shape and stuff. But, like, is there a mental element to it where it's just like, you're not a sailor. You know? You're not sailor material, bro. I can stand on a boat. That's really all sailing is at the end of the day.

I can stand on this boat. I might not be great at it, but I can stand on it and go from point A to point B. The sailing shit is obviously fucking hard. It's the Olympics. It's not like a boat that you'd have in Fagau. It's like you have this little two-person boat. That shit where you're... You gotta duck under the fucking boat. When you're standing

on the side of the boat and you're parallel to the water. Holy shit. That would be probably the number one. Like weightlifting, I fucking maybe could do. You could do, yeah. That's a good, like that's reasonable. It's completely unreasonable.

Yes. But it is. It's reasonable if we started, like you and your family, you come from good stock. You know, like you guys, if you just trained like your dad could probably lift in the Olympics right fucking now. If you had trained and did just that, you're thick as fuck.

And you kept up with the steroids and shit. You could do it. And I get, I get in shape fast, which is why I think that would help. Cause I only have four years. Yeah. Like I,

I, I bounce back fast. Do you think if I gave you 10 years, if you gave me 10 years, it's too long. I'd get bored. Got it before. You know think if I gave you 10 years? If you gave me 10 years, it's too long. I'd get bored. Got to be four.

You know what I would get bored at? Have you seen some of these long distance swimming? Oh, yeah. They swim for 15 to 20 minutes. Dude, there was... That's so long. How do you even remember what lap you're on? Yeah, you don't. I used to do that.

They must have a counter, right? I do the 500. You have somebody counting, but I've also been the person counting, and I've spaced out, and I think somebody broke a record when they shouldn't have. 500 meters, though, is like nothing compared to this. They were doing like the 1,500, right? Yeah, they do like 2,000. Katie Ledecky was like doing that, and then sprints like within an hour or two.

That's insane. I mean, how many times? I get bored when it's like down and back it needs to just be like one length of the pool when they were doing the relays which were like cool and i still was like oh boy i was like oh this is the last one it's like no he's gotta go back and i was like jesus to just to just take your time swimming in the middle like we got five million more laps to go uh i would say there's one on the list that i think you can do almost you know a lot of people could do with time with nothing but time and practice i think you could

learn shooting shooting archery i was looking at too yeah archery is i think harder than shooting because i think using that those bows actually maybe not those bows are so like technologically advanced that it's not like like i think that archery in the olympics should be like you got to make your own bow yeah that should be part of it you got like a piece of fucking you know uh like deer bones or some shit that you're bending and whale bones and shit but i think i think shooting is is the only shooting and archery and that i don't want the fucking archers coming after me because I know you're athletes and there's some element of physicality to it but

there's not like an endurance there's not an agility your heart rate's not like shooting I think the whole idea is getting your heart rate flat so anything where you're trying to stop breathing and your heart pumping we're calling them sport it's a little bit tough.

I'm pretty good. I'm pretty much halfway there. See, maybe that'd be good. Maybe they'd be like, we have never once seen someone with body vitals as low as yours. This is just how I do, baby. Just give me a gun and I'll just lay there and shoot. So I think that would be my only, only, only shot.

I mean, nothing, nothing else. I know handball is a popular one right now. I think Billy. be my only, only, only shot. I mean, nothing else. I know handball is a popular one right now. Handball is dope. Handball is something that every four years people go, this game is pretty fucking cool. We played it in high school. It was awesome. Really?

Yeah. But when they throw the spins and stuff. Yeah, you can really do some cool shit. The ball is a hand. It's like the only ball this size. I haven't seen any other sport that like really uses it. And you can fucking whip it, man. It's a fun one.

The karate and shit is up there. Judo, karate. No, it's not. Yeah, top right. No, no, no, you're saying it's up there. I think you're saying it's up there as like something you could do. Oh, no, but I don't know. So we were debating this before we went on the air. I don't know how this shit works because, like, 10-year-olds can get a black belt.

Yeah, well, Mike has one. He was 11 years old, and he got a fucking black belt. I'll tell you right now, if we could time travel and Mike was 11 again, I would work his shit. I don't know about that. I would fucking a little 11-year-old, pop him in the fucking nose, and he's literally crying for his mom. I'm not going to lie. I'm not going to lie.

It was like a karate kata. It was called taekwondo. It's like a dance routine almost. Okay. This kid's dancing. But then when I got to turn 11, I was fighting real kids, and I was fighting the other black belts, and it didn't work out. So I was like, okay, you got a black belt for a you lose if you get like your ass kicked by some of the black

belt they should take your black belt away yeah that's kind of what happened oh really i feel like uh i feel like i you know just being like a dirty irish mick that i am like i you come up we square up with an 11 year old andold and I just kick him in the chest. Could you imagine some 11-year-old kid being like, all right, come on, hi-ya! And I just kick him in the gut and he's like, oh! I just knock the wind out of him.

I wonder if we can set this up. Because I give him one of these Sparta things. Just a boot to the ribs. And this 11-year-old's like, that's not what you're supposed to do. We're supposed to do the chops. Come on, Mom, he kicked me in the ribs and this 11 year old is like that's not what you're that's not what you're supposed to do we're supposed to do like the chops come on mom

he kicked me in the ribs and just cave in his rib cage or yeah do you think it would be like Seinfeld the little fist of fury where Kramer gets

I think I think there's probably a stoolie who has an 11 year old with a black belt who's like he's like I'll have to fight Kevin

he would work my shit i'd be like all right let's do this i'd throw my booty like catch it yeah flip over we'd have to just like shit we'd have to like schedule a surgery for you beforehand just a preemptive and they're like what kind would just have it i have my appointment ready have the iv good have the scalpel out definitely have like Some orthopedic surgeons around Maybe a cardiologist And The

I just do not get though The Like I think black belt Means It should mean like You've gotta be Able to like Fight anyone in the world

Who also is of like A black belt Or some shit I don't know how you Cause you could be like I don't know where the cut off is Cause you could be like 16 and be fucking like I'll kill you but 15 14 10 12 like where does it stop

where it's like okay you're just a kid yeah yeah and i understand you know like the motions and the and the art of it but it's like but you know but you step in the ring with me like a fat guy could just beat you up he's fatter than you you know i think a black belt you need to be able to win any fight you're in yeah yeah so it like, you're 11. You can't beat up this grown man so you don't have a black belt. Brendan Shaw was telling a story about his I think his son they were at some event

I don't know, some karate, whatever, I don't know, and there was a black belt there and he was like Dad, like, could you beat him up? And he was kind of like, yeah. Yeah, man. Yeah, definitely. And he was kind of like, yeah, yeah, man. Yeah, definitely. And he was like, but he's a black belt, and you're not.

And I think Brennan Shove actually is a black belt. He just doesn't physically have them. So the point of the story was that he was like, I got to, like, go to this gym and get my fucking black belt so my son will shut up about this. But he was like, yeah, man, no, I will work his shit. I will beat the shit out of that guy, okay, son? I'm a monster, all right? I will kill him. But yeah, I mean, I'm not impressed with your little black belt 11-year-old dance routine, Mike.

Can we have footage of that? Yeah, I definitely got footage. Yes! Yes! Let's go. I might have footage of the day that they took my black belt away where I got my ass kicked. That is some...

I do respect if there's some sensei who's like, you have dishonored the belt. Pulls it off you and slaps you in the face. Yeah, all right. So let us know what Olympic event you think you could win or get the bronze medal or whatever. The real thing to me is like, which one do you think you could like maybe somewhat make the team as an alternate after 15 years of training? You know? Because none of this shit. You're not meddling in fucking anything.

Fencing, I could probably make the team as an alternate. Fencing is a decent one. Well, I mean, they got that alternate who... Who rapes people. Who rapes people. I feel like it's a good reason to kick him off the team. But this guy's pretty good. Imagine that if they just said, like, you're out because you're a sexual predator and we're letting Feidelberg in.

Yeah. That would be amazing. Also, there's a chance you might be able to play on the baseball team because, boy, is it slim pickings. Is it? Olympic baseball is not great. Todd Frazier is, like, by far our best player, and Todd Frazier is, like, washed.

Yeah. I didn't know he was playing. Yeah. I think Todd Frazier is just, like, hell-bent on having this, like, American boy story. Yeah. I mean, I did the Little League World Series, and I, like, played for the Yankees, and I won this, and I won that.

Now I got to get a gold medal. It's like, I don't even think you're going to get it, bro. It's funny. It's kind of, like, washed up. It's like Joey Batts is in there for the Dominican Republic, and, like, Tanaka's getting shelled for Japan. It's just a washed up. And then no names.

I don't even know who else is filling out the prospect. The Sox have a prospect who's hitting the piss out of the ball over there. Oh, yeah? Tristan Casas, I think it's C-A-S-A-S. Is this new, by the way? I don't think I ever remember baseball in the Olympics. I don't think it's the first time, but it's new-ish. Because I wonder if it will get to a point where, like,

you'd be surprised if they had baseball. Did they? Yeah, but it's new-ish. Because I wonder if it will get to a point where, like... Because when the Olympics were in Greece, they had baseball. Did they? Yeah, because it was... I remember... Did America... Have we ever played major leaguers? Or has it always been, like, under 20? I don't think so, because it's always in the summer.

Right, right. Right. And, like, hockey gets so prestigious where they'll, like, stop the league for two weeks, right? Which they don't... They don't do that anymore, right? They stopped doing it last year, and there's talks of it coming back again. But, yeah, there's... Because I can understand why it's, like... Well, we're a professional franchise. We can't, like, risk this, or we don't do that anymore, right? They stopped doing it last year, and there's talks of it coming back again. Because I can understand why it's like, well, we're a professional franchise.

We can't risk this, or we don't want to. But it would be cool. It's like the same thing with basketball. It happened with Tavares. He broke his leg. Right, right, right, right. Yeah, it's like, we're not doing this ever again. Yeah.

But I would love it to get to a point where it's like we – actually, baseball is interesting too, though, because it's a legitimate World Series. Like Team Japan versus Team Dominican versus Team. Like the World Baseball Classic has a decent amount of juice because it is fairly spread out. But I would love to send our best of our best over there and work shit. But I think even if we send our best of our best, I don't think America dominates. Well, I think it depends on like because it's like Fugazi where it's like Mike Stanton played for like Italy or some shit, didn't he?

Oh, did he? But that's how I know Greece. I think Greece was the first time that baseball won the Olympics because it was like if your great-grandfather or great-great-grandparents or whatever are from Greece, you can play for this team. See, that's what I mean. I feel like if it was American, meaning like you're born here, I still think you get – you know, like A-Rod played for Puerto Rico. He's fucking American. You know, Manny Ramirez was born in the Bronx. So, like, if all of those guys were Team America, I think we would.

I think. Yes. Because, I mean, there are still a lot of – most of those guys are born in the countries we're talking about. But there are a bunch, too, that's like, yeah, your last name is Rodriguez or something like that, but you're American. But that would be interesting, though. I don't know.

Somebody put out the best. I mean, the World Baseball Classic, we send our best, right? We don't win that. But that's what I mean because I don't know if it's our best because those guys do play for the Dominican Republic. Like A-Rod played for the Dominican Republic? I think he played for Puerto Rico, yeah. Really?

I think one year he did at least. One time he did. I didn't know that. 70% is from America in the MLB. 10% is from Dominican Republic. And then 5% from Venezuela. That's what the MLB is consistent. I mean, those numbers, those 10% might be fucking awesome.

So you don't know. But I do think we would still win. But somebody put together the best team from each of the major countries. And we'll tweet it. All right, top fives. Apropos of absolutely nothing, we're doing top five breads. Originally, it was going to be some Olympic-related shit, and too hard.

We don't want to think about it, so we're just going to go with what do we know well? Carbs. We know fucking soft, squishy bread carbs better than anybody. I feel like I am just – you know that that question that was loaf of bread i just became one i just grew into a loaf of bread so top five breads is brought to you by ftx you remember them they're formerly blockfolio they are the uh number one crypto app in the game they switched it up they got a brand new name they did like a little prince name change sort of thing

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That's what I said about being an Olympian to make all this money. It's so much easier than that, man. Just get on fucking FTX and just buy cryptos. You'd probably make more than being an Olympian. Yeah, yeah. There are probably five Olympians who make more than someone who has a good day on FTX and just buy cryptos. You'd probably make more than being an Olympian. Yeah, yeah. There are probably five Olympians who make more than someone who has a good day on FTX. Right. There's some asshole kid at home just being like,

I bought and sold and I made more than Simone Biles and fucking Caleb the Swimmer like 10 times combined. So get on FTX and get rich with the best app to buy and sell crypto coins today. Top Reds, you want to number one pick? Sure, I'll take number one. Everything bagel. Now, so I think that's bagel, though. I think you get bagel. Okay.

Because otherwise we're just going to be drafting bagels left and right. Yeah, that's true. I'll give you the bagel. All right. The bagel is a powerful choice, and it's one that I would have drafted as well, number one overall. It's probably actually, I don't eat a ton of bread, but I eat bagels

every Monday and Friday. Yeah, they're so good, man. Do you toast your bagel? I don't always, but I'm not anti-toasting a bagel either. I think the answer, the correct answer to that question, which is completely based on a preference of your choice, a good bagel does not need to be toasted. And bad bagels, you know, stale bagels, you can mask it a little bit.

But people who think that you need to toast your bagel, I don't think you've ever had a fresh, out-of-the-oven good bagel where it's like, don't you dare touch this. That's just like you're overcooking it then. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, don't cook it any further. Just take it out of the oven.

Why do you want to cook it more? You're putting it back in the oven. It's done. The Thomas' bagel, though, I do have those. Don't cook it any further. Why do you want to cook it more? You're putting it back in the oven. It's done. The Thomas' bagel, though. I do have those. I have a bag of those in my apartment. Those, you got to, yeah.

You got to toast them, but then there's this weird thing about them where they almost reject cream cheese. I don't know. If you've had a Thomas' everything bagel or probably any kind of bagel. You know exactly what I'm talking about. It just doesn't take. Can I tell you what I've done with those? I am a very big fan of cream cheese. Yeah. When people tell me that there's too much cream cheese, I'm like, there's no such thing.

So I have taken, probably because of the problem you're talking about, and I've taken that bagel, and I have the brick of Philadelphia. I've just cut the brick and just put it in. The whole thing? Not the whole thing, but I'll basically cut it in half almost and just put that brick in there and just bite that. Kevin, that is far too much cream cheese.

I thought you were going to say you ripped and dipped. Nope, I just put the block on. Cream cheese is so good. It's very good, but people do. They tend to over cream cheese. It sounds like you do that. The only problem with over cream cheesing is when the bagel, if you do get it toasted or if the bagel is hot, and then the cream cheese becomes a melty soup. That I can't stand. But if the bagel is not too hot

and you then to me, I would always rather have too much cream cheese and let me decide. I'll scrape some off. But when you get just a little schmear and it's like, that's like one bite's worth. I need a whole fucking, you know. Then, so I'd rather you err on the

side of too much cream cheese than not enough cream cheese. I agree with you. Because you do that thing where you kind of have like the paper and you kind of scrape that. Or you just even use a piece of the bagel as like your – you scrape it off. Yeah. Okay. My first pick will then just be – I mean this is going to be kind of like broad but like the hero role. That's – You know what I mean, right? One to be kind of like broad, but like the hero roll. That's what I was thinking of. Yeah.

Like just a sandwich roll. I'll specify hero. So like the long, you might call it a sub, you might call it a grinder, whatever. The hero roll. It's just a necessary must have. If you're not going to, you know – the bagel is just the meal itself. You're just eating the bread. The roll – you need the roll to have sandwiches and all the other shit you put on it.

So the roll, the sandwich roll, the hero. Number two, I am going to go pretzel. Pretzel bun or pretzel? Pretzels. Oh, I didn't think of that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just the bread. Pretzels, just salted bread. Right. Wow, great choice. Yeah, I mean, it's super pretzel pretzels oh why didn't you think of that yeah yeah yeah it's just a bread and pretzels just salted bread right wow great choice yeah i mean it's super pretzel sure bag of fucking

pretzel crisps great pretzels now wait i i i feel like you gotta not that i care it doesn't really change the pick but i feel like that's got to be limited to like the soft pretzel okay fine i'll take soft because i think once you start cooking them into the bites and shit, that's all right. You wouldn't take a bite of like those Snyder's like nuggets and be like, this is bread. Yeah, but it is. It is. It's just toasted bread.

Okay. My next pick will be, I will go with, now like we can't, you can't like donut, right? That's like bread, right? But donut's definitively bread, baby. Oh, then I'm taking donut.

Yeah, if you want to go donut, I'll let you have it. I might have to say you keep it to glaze or something like that, but look, there's salt on a pretzel. There's sugar on a donut. Okay, then definitely. Yeah, bagel and donut, same thing, same category. Yeah. Okay, the only reason I didn't say donut number one then

is just because I wasn't thinking properly. Oh, let's switch. Pretzel has opened up my mind. As long as it's on the team, I don't care. Donut, for sure. No explanation necessary. Cinnamon roll. You're on fire. The kid wasn't sure about the topic when I

introduced it. Now he's getting it. Now he's seeing the matrix. Like a Cinnabon? Yeah. Fucking fire. introduce it now he's now he's getting it now he's seeing the matrix like like a cinnabon or like a yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah um i will go with i'm gonna give you a specific one but it's the broad the broad sense of the word it's pepperidge something with a stone stone white or something like that oh okay I know what you mean

it's got a green label it's like hardy stone or stone white or stone something from Pepperidge Farm this bread it's like almost bagel-y in a sense I don't know what it is it's like doughy and soft and yep that's the one what's that. It's like doughy and soft and uh, uh, yep.

That's the one. What's that called? Farmhouse hearty white bread. Huh? Ah! I straight up, what what are you, what? What? What's your fucking face? You don't like bread? You don't like bread, Nichols? No, no, no. I just like the sound that came out of your mouth. Yeah, it was a bit sexual. Ah!

Uh, that bread, while I said like, you know, uh, the bagel is the meal, I will just eat that bread. Straight up. When I get high, but I will eat that bread. That's the kind of bread my friend growing up, his family used to toast that and then put cream cheese on it. That's what I mean. I've never done that, but I've thought about that. And now that I know that someone else does it, I'm going to do it too.

That's a bread I will fold in half and just bite the white out, you know, and then just throw the crust. Yep, yep, yep. This is a bad fucking top five for you. Between the fucking block of cream cheese and the straight bread. White bread. I'm like a duck at the park. Feed me white bread, baby.

Feed me that white bread. Oh, I got a great pick next. I got a fucking great pick. It's going to fuck you in your face, Final Break. Okay. This one, I don't know if it counts, but it is a carb. Rice pilaf. Now, the only time I know about rice pilaf Is Mr. Portnoy

Why? There was the time He tried to turn Turn back rice pilaf At the restaurant Oh no no no Excuse me There was a rice pilaf

That he loved And they just changed it Like took it off the menu Changed And he came in And was like demanding The old rice pilaf But this is just a rice dish.

Yeah, but rice is bread, right? Bro, rice is not bread. Rice isn't bread? Are you fucking mentally handicapped? Rice is not bread. I think rice is little carby bread. I think rice is just a bunch of little loaves of bread. I mean, rice might be carbs, yes, but it's not.

Bro, rice is not little loaves of bread. I think it is. I think this is one of those things, like, but it's not... Bro, rice is not little loaves of bread. I think it is. I think this is one of those things like, is it technically a sandwich? I don't think you're going to get much. The internet's pretty split 50-50 with the hot dog. I don't think anyone's going to think about this one. If you put a fucking grain of

rice under a microscope... Google is rice bread and see what the internet says. Not rice bread. I need is rice bread. I think it's a fucking Not rice bread. I need is rice bread. I think it's a fucking... I can't believe this is even under people also ask.

It's a grain... Feidelberg's the only dumbass in the world who's thought this. Bread is grains. Rice is grains. Rice is little mini loaves of bread. Google me a fucking... Jackie's like,

yep, you're selling me. She turned around and she went, well, the grains thing. Google me rice under a microscope. It's going to look like a fucking loaf of bread. I guarantee you this.

I mean, things that look like bread now count? Rice under a microscope. Oh, yeah. It looks like bread to me. These are bad fucking pictures. I want a good one. No, you need, like, zoomed in These are bad fucking pictures. I want a good one. No, you need like zoomed in rice, not fucking

microscopic rice. Rice close up. Now this is dumb. Bread! Little loaves of bread! Yes! Yeah! This is madness. If we're gonna allow we're allowing rice in the bread draft?

Madness, bro. That just looks like bread. It's a grain that looks like bread. Madness. You're counting it as bread. Institutional chaos here at KC Radio. We're allowing rice in the bread draft. All those who allow rice in the bread draft, say aye.

Aye. Three against. Three against. Three against. Nay. And I'm not even going to let you fucking get another pick. You just lose a pick. That's it. It's just rice with an X over it.

Nope. You're out. Rice is bread. Fuck you. Is cornbread then too? Is cornbread? Cornbread might be my pick. Oh, shit.

Fuck. Good pick. I think it is. Cornbread's my pick cornbread's my pick yeah yeah how about that you double fucked yourself god damn it you're back up what are you gonna say now oh man uh you're like fucking if you couldn't tell that one was a bit of a hail mary for me because i was out of breads. Oh, there's so many breads left. So many breads. I don't eat that much bread, though. Garlic bread.

Good choice. Yeah. Good choice. On, like, my hero role? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Like an Italian bread or, like, a hero?

Italian bread. Yeah, like a wide Italian bread. Or a French baguette, perhaps. So all I was going to say is that, you know, I'll give you that. That can be your pick. Like, French baguette, garlic bread. Okay. I'll give it to you. Like, as a double wh say is that you know, I'll give you that. That can be your pick. Like French baguette

garlic bread. Okay. I'll give it to you. Like as a double whammy. You know what I mean? Because that's how you season and decorate your French baguette. Yeah. Dude, the baguettes from Fairway. But having a baguette to just dip into soup too. I went through a phase where I was grabbing those baguettes from Fairway

just, you know, put them in the sleeve and like in that big bag, that condom bag. Oh my god, I could just crush a whole fucking baguettes from Fairway. Just, you know, put them in the sleeve in that big bag, that condom bag. Oh my god, I could just crush a whole fucking baguette of those things, man. Just like Dave when he did Panera. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That shit is so good. Or to have a baguette to dip into a stew. Oh, a good

stew, are you? Yeah, I love a nice stew. Ready for stew season to be honest. I am going to go with the greatest bread perhaps of all time, King's Hawaiian Sweet Rolls. I almost took that, too. I don't even want to eat King's Hawaiian. I want to sleep on King's Hawaiian. I want to jump into a little thing of King's Hawaiian Sweet Rolls and just sleep in there and have it be my blanket.

I love King's. I will just sit there and have it be my blanket. I love King's. I will just sit there and squeeze them in the bag. I'm just like, oh, my God. It's like a stress reliever. King's Hawaiian, I've also taken them, and I've just, like, I don't pull the individual things out. I'll take, like, a block of, like, four or five of them and just, like, cut it open and put peanut butter and jelly on there

and put it back over and have a big, fat King's Hawaiian peanut butter and jelly. Yeah, man. One at a time? Please. Portuguese sweet bread also is, I imagine, quite similar to a King's Hawaiian, but it comes in really a loaf rather than Portuguese sweet bread. Fucking fucks. Oh, I also could have gone with cinnamon sticks, but I guess I had cinnamon roll.

Are you out? You're done? Is that five for you? Yeah, I'm done. Bro, there's so many more. We've got like challah bread for your French toast needs. Raisin bread. Even just like going rye bread if you like that kind of shit. You can do biscuits. We didn't even do biscuits.

We didn't do dinner rolls. There's so many breads, bro. So many breads. Subway bread. I'm going to characterize this as its own entity of bread made out of yoga mats. Delicious. None of these are as good as rice pilaf, but yeah, they're all pretty strong. Rice pilaf will go down in history.

It will go down in history twice now in Barstool Sports. Rice pilaf, from you, might be the dumbest answer to any question that has ever been asked. In any other scenario, with any other person in the world, if someone, imagine if you were like on a date or at a business meeting or something important, and they said, what's your favorite kind of bread? And you said, rice pilaf. They'd be like, this guy, his brain doesn't work.

This guy has a learning disability. And then I'd make my argument. They'd be like, no, no, I said, what's your favorite bread? And they would say, you'd say, yeah, rice pilaf. Yeah, rice pilaf. Bring it up on Google. And then I would say, look at them. They look like little loaves of bread.

Yeah, it's a grain that looks like bread. I want to chop your head off with a fucking axe, man. God damn. All right, voicemails and then our interview. Voicemails are brought to you by 3Chi. 3Chi is responsible for when I eat straight white bread. I get 3Chi'd up, and I'll eat a whole fucking loaf of Pepperidge Farm. I wake up, and I'm like, like, there are times that I'll be like,

oh, my God, I think I gained, like, five legitimate pounds from what I just did. And you wouldn't be wrong. You probably have. Yeah. If you just weigh the bread that I ate, it could be a five-pounder. I'd like to splice together the two parts of this podcast. One, Kevin talking about how he's jealous of other people who are in good shape. And two, how he eats blocks of cream cheese and full-

Loaves of bread. And loaves of bread. And full French baguettes. Yep. And fucking cuts open a full bag of King's Hawaiian. Yep. I will not apologize. There's. Yep. I will not apologize. Jelly everywhere.

I will not apologize for being a bread innovator. I will not apologize for appreciating greatness. I like to experience the good things in life, and one of the good things, one of the best things in life is bread. So fuck you, John. You can have your single slices of bread. You can have your little bit of cream cheese.

You can eat your little mini loaves of bread rice. I'm going to have entire loaves of bread. You can have your little bit of cream cheese. You can eat your little mini loaves of bread rice. I'm going to have entire loaves of bread and baguettes and whatever else I want. But 3C, you know, 3C, here's the deal. It gets you high. And so you get that same

euphoria and you get a little bit of the munchies and you get the giggles on and it's all legal. It's all safe. It gets delivered right to you in like a nice, clean Ziploc bag. Nothing about it is dangerous. Nothing about it is illegal. You can order it from 3chi.com.

You can get the gummies if you're into the edibles along with the actual edibles with the baked goods. They have the cookie, the brownie, and the Rice Krispie Street. They got the Skittle, or, well, they're called 8-Balls. Yeah, 3C, really playing with fire here with a product called 8-Balls, which are just 8-milligram balls. So they call them 8-Balls. I really feel like you're just asking for it from, like, the FDA.

You're just dancing around being like, It's not technically drugs. It's not technically drugs. We're naming an 8-Ball. We got a new one out called being like, it's not technically drugs. It's not technically drugs. We're naming an eight ball. We got a new one out called Hero Inn. I don't know. So, yeah, they got

the Skittles. They've got the vapes. They've got the tincture oil you can put in when you... Jackie, do you bake? I think you should bake something for us. Do I bake? Are you asking me bake something for us. Do I bake? I think you should bake something. Are you asking that because I'm a woman? Maybe.

I guess so. That wasn't where I was going, but okay, yeah. You're the woman of the group, so bake for it. I was asking you because you're a lowly intern, but no, you're a senior producer now. But yeah, you know what? Technically, he's lower than you, so I guess it was sexist because I wasn't going to ask Mike to bake. He's a black belt.

But I want you to bake something using the 3C tincture oils and we'll see what comes out better. The 3C or the Jackie. Okay. I can't bake. So that's not good. Well, that's why this will be fun. But, but, hazing intern Mike.

Not hazing. HR. So any which way you want to get your three chi on, they've got you. And there are, like, different highs when you eat the edibles versus the vapes. The vape pen goes down. It's so smooth. And as Trent said on Friday Night Pints, you really don't get that overly focused paranoid feeling. I don't know.

It's got the Delta 8 is an extract from THC. Normally, you're smoking Delta 9. 3Chi is Delta 8. And there really is just some sort of difference in it where you don't get that weird, overwhelmed feeling. So it's the best invention maybe ever. Go to 3Chi.com. Use promo code KFC2021. And you get 5% off your order. Must be 21 or older to order and enjoy.

That's 3chi, the number 3, C-H-I.com. Use promo code KFC2021. KFC fights, whoever else is in the studio. I just got done watching Spike make a hot tub of goldfish and water. And earlier, KFC, you were complaining about how John is a child, a man-child,

and how he's like Keegan. Now, KFC, if you were to happen to die and randomly, for heaven's to best be, as you fucking say, heaven to god John is in charge of one of your kids

just one of them how long do you think they would survive Viva is that a dark one like how long how long before

your kids die under John's supervision I'll answer it start a weekend I mean like realistically yeah realistically eye under John's supervision? I'll answer it. It's not a weekend. I mean... Like, realistically? Yeah, like... Realistically, if I... What a great fucking rom... I mean, that movie's been done a million times before, but, you know,

like, the dad who's a single guy has to, like... There's specifically a movie like this with Ryan Reynolds or somebody, right? There is, yes. It's so sad, because the fucking... The parents legit just die in the beginning. And then I think. Oh, no, no.

I think it's with a woman. Huh? Well, it's kind of like Big Daddy. Yeah. I think there's one with like Sarah Jessica Parker, where she's the aunt who has to take care of them. But it's like you parent a dad and now you got to go to your aunt's house. The Ryan Reynolds one.

That's one with Jason Bateman. Yes. Yes. So they don't die. It's a body switch. Right. But anyway, if you had to watch my kids. I would obviously put forth an effort to keep children alive.

Like, I would. But if it was, like, a rule, like, I couldn't change my lifestyle. Oh, yeah. Right. Like, I mean, would you even feed them? Yeah, I'd feed them. I don't know what I'd feed them. I don't know what I'd feed them. I don't really eat much either.

So, like. Yeah, you'd get, you'd be, it's easy. Because, like, you just have, like, little kid meals. Like, they just eat chicken nuggets and pasta all the time. So, I just make extra nuggets for myself. I'm like, this ain't so bad. But I think you would, like, leave them someplace or, you know, like. I would definitely forget. You know what would be really funny is, like, you, like, having to, you know like i would definitely forget what would

be really funny is like you'd like having to like sign them up for activities and shit oh that wouldn't happen no that wouldn't happen yeah look i'd put boys i have to keep them alive i'm keeping entertained that's not fucking that i'm trying to educate them yeah grow oh yeah like like like learn them in school no no chance no but that reason the wilderness no that you would do because then that's like babysitting. It's like, yeah, go. I don't think I'd remember to do it. I would just show up at school day one.

It is fucking – Here they are. Here's the school. Who are these children? We've never heard of them. What are you talking about? They're kids in school. From the area.

They go to school. Teach them. Take them in. It's not an orphanage, sir. It's a school. Ask them their names. They'll introduce themselves. Fucking sit down.

Now, my kids are somewhat self-sufficient. If it was a newborn, this is dark, but legitimately in a weekend, a newborn would be dead under your care. Well, here's my thing with newborns. Straight up, dead. My thing with newborns is that we've never tried. No one's just left a newborn alone for three days. No, they have. Do they die? Yes.

It's called child neglect. It's called child abuse. I don't know, man. That's what they do in China. I haven't read these reports. They leave babies out to die. I think if you would have read these reports. If I put a baby in a crib and put a bunch of baby food there fucking they'd figure

it out bro can we like put it like a dog food bowl i was gonna say this is what they what you do with a gerbil where they have that water bottle that just drips water like a little fucking thing of food for them uh i don't know if we ever fully talked about it because of like spoilers but now it's been long enough. The baby in The Quiet Place 2. Having the baby in the post-apocalyptic world where there can't be sound. It's a baby. Babies do nothing except make sound.

If you had to say, what does this newborn baby do? It's like, eat shit, sleep, make noise. That's it. The sound monsters, putting them in a little fucking cardboard box, in a little wooden box. Doesn't stop. No. That baby's getting snatched up by the sound monsters in an hour. In one fucking hour. But also the crazy thing is, though, like, this is the same baby from Quiet Place 1.

But that baby, like, that baby was born after the apocalypse. The birth part is what's crazy. A mom in a fucking tub trying not to, like, scream her fucking head off. Right? Did she deliver it in silence? Yeah. Or is she, like, is she safe enough that she can make noise for some reason while that's happening? No, I think she's, like, pretty quiet.

Insane. Just fucking ridiculous ridiculous and then the baby comes out crying i mean it's it's like whoever was writing that john krasinski you dumb motherfucker like it's in it's almost like he was cocky it's almost like he was like i'm gonna write this and like what would be truly truly what would be the hardest, most unrealistic thing to have into this script? A birthing mother and a newborn baby. I'm going to do it anyway. Because I'm Jim.

And they'll fucking eat it up. You asshole. Next. What's up, guys? Can't see, fight. First time, long time. I just got a quick question for you guys. So, flash a story

so me and my buddy were driving down to the beach the other weekend and I've been telling him for a while that he should start listening to KC Radio you know he's a pretty fucked up individual like myself and like you guys

and I thought he would like it but sure enough it was the and like you guys and I thought he would like it. But sure enough it was the episode where you guys did your top five boners. Nothing wrong with that. He thought the segment was hilarious but as we

got to the end of it when Fights dropped his want for a girl to fart on his burner. Yeah, that was disgusting. That's the part where we started to lose him. Yeah, you know what? That was bad, Peter.

And I remember during that part, he was looking over at me kind of with the kind of look of like, is this what you listen to, like, all the time? Oh, fuck your friends. And I was just like, yeah, dude, I tried to warn you. Like, you never know what you guys are going to talk about. Anyway, so I guess the question is, what do you guys think would be the most alarming segment you guys have ever done that a first-time listener would hear?

And I guess the secondary question would be, what do your interns slash producers think would be the answer to that question? Okay. They've been working with you. First of all, fuck your friend, man. With a fart-covered boner. Like, relax. You know, if you're in the car with the guys going road tripping and you turn around, you turn around like, is this really what you listen to?

Like, it's one thing if it's, like, not funny, but it's another thing if it's, like, that's offensive. It's like, just get in the car, wreck, and die. I want to be clear about something i apologize to absolutely nobody i stand by mcgregor on them i stand by that so gross full-throated this is one of the things that i'm talking about where i have to remember that you are a circus act and not just like my friend. Bro, Casey was saying that she was listening while she was getting her lashes done, I think. And the lash woman was like, are you okay?

Because she had such a retching face on. But look, I would avoid the smelly gas. In a perfect world, no smelly gas would be great. But it's just – You're eliminating the very thing that makes a fart a fart. The vibration is the fart that I liked. But there are farts

that are silent but deadly and things that vibrate and don't vibrate. I want a fucking earth shattering one. We're not doing this again. I might put that up there as if I had to isolate... It's like getting your balls motorbanded by a butthole. It's like getting your balls boned by a... Okay, I know. We're really not going to do it. It's like getting your balls boned by a butthole.

It's a good fucking thing. I think this might be my answer. I can't think of anything I find less appealing or funny than the boner fart. I think this is it. I swear to God. After, you know, 10 years of podcasting, it's crazy that my answer is this recent but if you told me look at this big dumb baby bro what what is wrong with you i should punch you in the dick again right now

i really should. You're just despicable. Just fucking... This is taking you so long. So long. I feel like I've seen this on the internet where people do this in like 10 seconds. By the way, for those just listening, he's trying to eat a fruit roll-up. No, fruit by the foot by just making it dangle out of his mouth until he eats the whole thing.

You look like a man. You're just like, yeah, that's right. I just did that. What did you say? I said it is so offensive that people compare me to you. That's your legacy right now. I truly, if someone said, like, we're going to isolate this one clip and play it for them,

I think the last thing that I want people, like, the last thing I would want KSU Radio to be known as is, like, the show where the guys, like, if you fart on their dicks. That's it. That's the one. Swear to God. Swear to God. That's the one. KSU Radio, the dick fart guys.

No. No. I want that deleted from the internet, man. I want this whole segment erased. What's your answer? Most of us. Fuck, bro. I don't know.

There's so many. The thing is, there's so many, I can't think of any. Right, right. It's overwhelming. It's like a cheesecake menu. Yeah. It's a cake factory, man. What do you guys think?

We say a lot of shit where you're like, oh, fuck. What's the worst that you've gotten back from your friends? When your friends were like, you work for the biggest douchebags in the world. What was that? Do you remember? Or your family? Have they ever been like, oh my God, Jackie, what are you doing?

Yeah, I mean, a lot. It's just like everything you guys say. Which is so crazy because I guess we've just drowned in it. Well, I guess that've just drowned in it well that's I mean I guess that's why we're a success and that it's our

it's our it's our good thing and our bad thing I can't think of any better words than that because I'm an idiot but like it's gotta be why

we've been doing it for so long the reason we're not at the very top has gotta be because of shit like this but the reason why we are successful

is because of shit like this right? yeah it's because nothing nothing I've ever said really like it's like if you like read it back to me like i probably think it was funny i'm not i'm not like nothing i said is like except for the thing it's like no it's very funny it is like it's like when you were kidding have you ever had moments where you're like like i shouldn't have said that they're not because of like uh it was like controversial whatever just like it wasn't funny sure

something that stuck with you that one episode or whatever I know you're joking about this but as an example I probably should have kept that New Orleans story in the holster probably should have not told that one do you have anything you put out there

that's not good not that comes to mind. I'm sure. I don't think I have any regrets. You could probably offer examples. I'd be like, ugh, yeah. Yeah, right. But I don't think I have any regrets off the top of my own head.

No. If you told me, like, you read back some things to me and be like, you know, quote, like, Kevin Clancy said that on, you know, whatever date. I'd be like, I don't know. Fuck. Yeah. But I don't have ones that I'm like, that's why. There are definitely times, like, in our, like, flip book thing. Yeah, yeah. Like, I'll be like, oh, that's why. There are definitely times like in our flip book thing.

Yeah. I'll be like, oh, that's a little cringy. What I, you know. You have the one where it's talked about thinking your cousins hot or saying like. Oh, no, that's fine. Yeah. Everybody thinks about fucking their cousins. And if you don't, you're lying.

I was going to say something that was relevant to the topic. It's now hard to access in my brain if you write it back to me oh they say that pregnant pregnancy amnesia is like a legit thing to so that we keep like procreating because if women fully remembered and felt what they just went through like girls will pop out a baby like i want to have another baby right now. And it's like, what? Do you remember when two weeks ago you were like, I'm never doing this again. Like for the sake of humanity, they like forget what happened. I think podcast and news is a thing where it's like,

it just comes out of our mouths and it's on the episode and it's out there. And then we just keep doing it because we don't even remember what we said. Yeah. Otherwise I think there would be some element of like, I shouldn't say that out loud. That went out to many, many, many people. I shouldn't have said that. And we just do.

We just keep doing it. And it won't stop? No. Can't stop. Won't stop. Last voicemail, and then we'll do our interview with Rocky Dale Davis. I got a quick question. Hey, KFC, John, the whole crew, what's going on?

I got a quick question for you. So I just went to the drive-thru at a Raising Cane's, and I ordered a three-finger box for myself. And I get up to the window, and the cashier tells me that my meal had been paid for by the car in front of me. So, you know, I've seen this trend on TikTok or whatever. So I kind of know what to expect. So I asked her, oh, is there a line of people paying going on right now? She says, well, it just started.

You would be the third person. So I asked, well, how much is the food behind you? She looks at it, trying to be all coy and whatnot, and she says, it's $27. So keep in mind, a finger box here is like nine bucks or whatever. So she tells me it's $27. And I look at her, and she's looking at me, and it's wildly uncomfortable.

So she tries to tell me, oh, well, they're separate orders. I'm like, well, you know, I just don't think I'm going to be paying $27 today. And she looked very disappointed and whatnot. Oh, fuck off, bitch. And I just drove off with my free chicken. So, my question to you is, should I have paid three times as much for the food behind me? No. Or is it okay to just not participate in these stupid fuck all this

goodwill nature bullshit fuck it i first of all can i tell you something maybe embarrassing i don't understand how these things work how does this line work like you is the orders already in i guess so you know but okay so it's just like by the time – they've already put their order in the box behind me. So I know. So I can just pay ahead of time. Okay. I've never thought about the logistics of it where it's just like how do you even fucking know what – because sometimes they're just doing one fucking window now or there's a guy instead of a box.

And I'm like, okay. So that's a side. Yeah, man. I came to this place expecting to pay $9 for my meal. And now I effectivelying to pay Nine bucks for my meal And now I effectively Have to pay Twenty seven bucks For that meal

Fuck that It's Fuck that noise All for what All for what The fucking Self Jerk off

Feeling of like I did something good Fuck that noise Honestly The only thing That could be for It couldn't be for Is it'll work as free marketing

for Raising Cane's. Yeah. Like for three hours because there's paper themselves. That's what they wanted. Raising Cane's is ass, yeah, that's what they wanted.

Because I was like, why the fuck does this lady care? And even if it is, like why do they care? You're just working here. You don't own fucking Raising Cane's. But you're right. They want that shit.

They want to be a part of something. The self-aggrandizing bullshit where it's like, I did a good deed today and I'm a good person because I forced the guy behind me to pay for my fucking meal. Fuck that shit. Completely agree. You want to do it with a cup of coffee at Starbucks? Fine. You're doing it at a place where someone might be ordering fucking dinner for the family?

No, bro. No. I mean I agree with everything you've said. Having said that, i would definitely just pay for it um because i mean you're looking at me in the face so that's like whenever someone's like oh do you want to round up for this you want to get five bucks to this and i'm always like well i like you're the corporation why don't you just fucking do it but i'm a pussy and they are looking me in the eyes and i go if it was in if it was within five dollars of my i I mean, you know, it's different.

Once you have a little bit of money, you can do whatever. But if you're just a normal person on a regular budget, and all of a sudden you have to pay three times the amount that you expected, again, for some just fucking self-masterpatory nonsense, then no, I'm not doing it. I don't care who's looking me in the face. See, I would. Again, because I'm a person. Because nobody knows.

Because also money's easy. Oh, I go over my budget today? I'll just make more money tomorrow. Well, yeah, you just got the money tree. Just plant it and pull it off the fucking branch. Yeah, everyone's got a money tree. It's called a job. It is.

Almost all adults have a money tree. What number would you not pay? Some are smaller than others, but I would pay anything under $50. Okay, but you do have a limit. $50. I mean, to be totally honest, I would probably pay anything. $100. $250.

Okay, well, now we're getting crazy. Anything in a reasonable fast food order. But that's what I mean. It's like $27 getting up there for a fast food order, you know? That's the way I do it. I was like, oh, pretty good deal. What's a general order for you at a fast food place? I'll probably get a meal, an extra burger, some chicken fingers, some chicken nuggets,

a dessert, and then that would probably be it. And then I'm usually getting delivered, so throw $12 on that. and then that would probably be it. And then I'm usually getting delivered, so throw $12 on that. And then that would probably be it. I'll get a Burger King. I get the little sundaes they have. McDonald's, I always get the McFlurries. Wendy's, I do a Frosty. But yeah, so I'm going meal, so that's probably $10.

Meal plus two other meals. Meals are like $10, $12. Sandwich, probably $6. Nuggets, those are cheap. Those are probably $10. Meal plus like two other meals. Meals are like $10, $12. Sandwich is probably $6. Nuggets, those are cheap. Those are probably $4. Yeah, $4. And then... Yes, you're probably getting up there, yeah.

Yeah, I'm around. Would you guys pay this shit? No. I refuse to ever use Uber Eats or anything like that. If there's any extra additional cost, I'm not getting that. Really? I'm driving or I'm having somebody drive me if I've been drinking.

There's no way. So what do you do? Well, you live on Long Island. Yeah, so it's all, yeah. But would you do this pay-it-forward bullshit? No. No. Absolutely not.

Why the fuck did you say he doesn't get food delivered? Yeah, I don't think he's paying for someone else's meal. Yeah, what are you, like, a fucking, like, a grandpa man? Like, I'm not paying these fees. That's else's meal. What are you, like a fucking grandpa man? I'm not paying these fees. That's another $1.98 that could be in my pocket.

What? That just drives you that crazy? Yeah, that just – I mean I feel like I could eat anything. Like I'll figure out something that's in the house that I'll eat and like also – Well, you're still at home, right? Yeah, I'm still at home. That'll change. When you're out on your own and you've got nothing in the fucking fridge and you're already drunk or there's nothing open except for the delivery, you'll crack.

But that pay-it-forward shit, I would say no, and I would be like, when the next car pulls up, I want you to tell them. The guy in front of me had the fucking choice to pay for you, and he said no. Fuck that. Rocky Dale Davis Jr. is on the show. The greatest name of all time. The most fitting name of all time for a guy who is just a whirlwind of content. Dude, it's an electric factory. Came in here like a bat out of hell and just put on an absolute spectacle for us with a great set of teeth on him. Got his new teeth as he's on the come up. Got to make sure he's looking right.

Got to make sure he's looking sharp. And that's why you've got to do the same thing and get your manscaping on. Manscaping is the most important thing that you can do as a grown male now. Because of what I said earlier, you know, I don't have a nice body. I'm not one of these fuck boys. You're a fuck boy if you've got a good body, right? So I've got a gross one, but I've got to make sure that at the very least it's not covered in orange hair like Vital Bird. So I've i gotta trim it

up i i hope you better trim you you walk around looking like a full-blown carrot no i know i got i got fucking i i don't think pubes get like colored well not if you are you putting sun in your head uh so yeah you got to trim it up with the lawnmower 4.0 you got to use the ball toner and the ball preserver the crop preserver you put these lotions on and these serums that make it stay smooth and smell good. You wear the boxers that are moisture wicking so that you don't sweat. They've got you covered from the shaving to the clothing that helps you make sure you have smooth dick and balls for when you're getting out there and you're getting, let's say, intimate.

When you want, you know, you get a haircut because people see your head and see what your hair looks like. You want to look good. Well, you got to get the hair on your dick cut, too. That's what it is. It's a haircut for your dickhead. I didn't have my Manscaped down the shore all month. Oh, no. Your boy could use a trim-off.

Your boy could use more than a trim. A little high and tight. Yeah, man. Give that shit a fade, man. Give him a tight fade. Go to manscaped.com. Use promo code KFC. Get 20% off plus free shipping.

Your balls will thank you. That's manscaped.com. Promo code KFC for 20% off plus free shipping. It's Rocky Dale Davis Jr. Let's go. I never got to apologize in person. I sent you a Twitter message, but when we met that night with Sean, I had to run that whole show.

And I had three spots that night. And so I'm running this. I didn't realize I had to run that whole show. And I had three spots that night. And so I'm running this. I didn't realize I had to run the whole show. So I'm running the entire show, okay? And then Sean's just outside, and I'm doing three spots in between. So I came up. I saw you, and I was like, oh, big fan. And I just, like, ran away real quick.

And I didn't want you to think it was, like, weird or anything. I felt like an asshole because I'm just like, hey, big fan, I got to fucking go now. And I was running that show and doing spots. It was a weird or anything. I felt like an asshole because I'm just like, hey, big fan. I got to fucking go now. And I was running that show and doing spots. It was a wild night. Brother, if there's anybody who understands a little social awkwardness or whatever, don't worry about it. I didn't have time, man. New York has been fucking – the cabs or the Ubers this time have been the worst thing in the world.

I've spent $400. Uber is – It's done. It's done in New York. Unless you're going to sponsor with us, it's over. You're sponsoring with us, Uber's great. But otherwise, I heard you want to... 100%.

Yeah, 100%. I like your style. We would have got here, but Terry was running a little late today, so I wanted to get in, do a couple shots before I came on the air. But I was like, she told me, she's like, what's going on there? I was like, well, let's do it, man. I'm pumped. This is...

Every guest should be like this. It's 12, because you up, Monter? I was like, let's do it, man. I'm pumped. This is, every guest should be like this. It's 12, because you got to get something going on. I mean, I woke up 45 minutes ago. Cheers. Cheers, brother. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers.

Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers.

Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers.

Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers.

Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers.

Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers.

Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers.

Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers.

Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers.

Cheers. Cheers. So you're in town You're doing spots out here in New York Yeah I came in Where do you live now? I live in Austin Austin is having it's big glow up moment I'm going to say it's the most overrated city in the world I've been there for exactly one night But even if it's good

Even if it's a great city It's still overrated right now Because people are acting like it's the epicenter of the world at the moment. So let me say this first off. I think I wish Kim Jong-un would drop a bomb on New York. Like this whole fucking city. He might do both of those. This whole city, it just sucks.

Here's what I've learned, though. Here's why I don't like saying it sucks because I know Tim Dillon's going to get mad and yell at me or something. No, he needs to do it. Tim's over it. He came for two months and bailed. Here's what the thing is. I realize y'all don't like the same things I like, right? So we just don't have the same likes.

So I've always wanted to fuck Joe Rogan. And so I'm like, I'll live in Austin and get close enough to him and do it. We can do a jiu-jitsu match one day. Joe's like, are you hard? What's going on? I'm like, dude, it's my... Joe's like, I tap, I tap. I put myself in my pocket. It's not a big deal dude it's a

samsung galaxy sponsored yeah yeah that's fucking so hilarious but i don't like to say i don't i lived in new york for two years and i um and before i was passed the seller which the seller would have changed a lot of it because the seller is the best comedy club in the country it's absolutely amazing st's a fucking mob runner she's amazing but i like quiet so like when people talk about cities i realize for me that like a good like my exit it has a liquor store that keeps buffalo trace in stock and it has um it has a whataburger and then that's all i need so like when i'm in new york and everybody's like have you heard of this new kimchi place i'm like i don't like kimchi i don't like culture so like i'd like it's like culture's

overrated is a great line culture i might put that on a t-shirt brother i might steal that from you it's like i don't like culture experience that's great because we're white so we don't have that yeah it's like it's like we have this white privilege let's use it i don't have to interact like i don't have to interact with their cultures if i don't want to yeah i'm just gonna i like my crackers and like i'm just gonna sit in my neighborhood with my i have a couple neighbors uh that are like we all just we all just like, what a burger. People talk shit about Waffle House is fire, and Waffle House is my favorite restaurant. You know why?

Because it's a chain, it's consistent, and it's always there. And you can knock somebody out on the way in. Yeah, that was good. Get some corned beef hash. You ever had corned beef? That's somebody in New York. They don't got corned beef hash. I'm like, what the fuck is corned beef hash?

I don't even know what it is. Again, though, that's culture. I don't like it. I wouldn't exactly call corned beef hash the most cultured dish in the world, brother. I thought you were white trash. What are you talking about? Corned beef hash? White trash is fucked, dude.

That might be like Irish white trash, maybe. It's like an Irish trash thing. It might be Irish trash, dude. Bro, you eat corned beef hash around my grandfather, he's calling you a racial slur. Okay? That's all I'm saying. He's cussing you out and telling you to go back where you came from. I never felt fancy about my corned beef hash, but I guess now I got it.

Yeah, I've never had it. And it's the diners in New York, they're nowhere to be found. Josh, can you go get us some corned beef hash? The Grinch. I think that's what the Grinch lives on. Is the Grinch a Tide fan, too? Is he cheering on Ole Miss every week? I don't think so.

Go Dawgs. I'm going to steal Christmas. Like, what? He's not white trash. The Grinch is an uppity motherfucker, dude. He eats Who Hash. But I guess that's just hash. Who Hash is more beef hash.

I told you. Bro, it's so good. It's just salty. I guess it's just corned beef and potatoes. Whatever it is, man. It's fire. Here's the reason I can't try it. And I'll get back to Austin in a second.

I just really can't try it because my mom used to make, and she's the worst. My mom is like a bad cook. I always said, you never realize how bad of a cook your mom is until you travel. And it's because she would make corned beef and cabbage as a kid. And it was just this trash dish, and we'd eat it for three days straight. So for three days, I wouldn't eat, and I'm stealing money out of her wallet and getting honey buns and shit. And so that's why I don't like – I'm so scared of corn. I don't try stuff.

Like I had Indian food for the first time two years ago with my girlfriend. And I will say the butter chicken is pretty good. And the spice level, it's like one of their things, and they make it. I got spice level 10, and the guy was like, hey. Well, you can probably handle spicy shit, right? Yeah, I can handle it, but the problem is, I don't mean to get graphic,

but I have like an enlarged asshole. So, you know, I listen to shows. I know this is okay. I know it's okay. Wait, wait, wait, real quick. I hope, I want everyone to go watch on YouTube, subscribe on YouTube, watch the video. But if you are listening, Rocky, he made a hole that looks like the size of a large cheeseburger.

Like an oversized hockey puck. He said, I have an enlarged asshole this big. You eat lunch and it just falls out of you 10 minutes later. There's several stories I can reference. But in particular, I can just say I have a whole bit about it where my girlfriend put a dildo on my ass one time, like jokingly, and it went all the way. I didn't feel it. I looked back, and it was like seven inches small for Terry.

But it was like super. So it went in there, and it was just gone. I realized, I thought, is it a power I have? Am I a superhero? I had different thoughts about it. You've got to put that skill to use somehow. You guys are an oldie fan. Hey, you're a handsome guy.

I know, man. I get hit on a lot because I had a clip talking about it, and it went viral. Put this thing in your ass. Oh, no problem. That's a Tuesday, dude. Rocky's got a fucking ring light in between his cheeks. He's got a fucking tunnel back there.

I'm like, am I blessed like i don't know is it a curse what what is it really depends we got back from mexico use it for i went to mexico for seven days with my girlfriend i drank the water every day because again like like i'm like dude we're america we stand up and then like so like my not only did like the usa get beaten basketball that week like my asshole, it got tore up. So for seven days straight, I shit on myself three times. I mean, like shit on myself. Like three times in Mexico.

And then I had shitty underwear bringing it back. And then the lady that does my laundry is Mexican. And I was going to be like, hey, look, y'all did this. You fixed it. I wouldn't apologize, but it's your fault. People did this to me. Okay, clean it up. And then I shit on myself at the Port of Vallejo to airport

what do you mean you shit on yourself so I mean I'm sitting there you shit your pants or you shit no no I'm outside on the balcony I'm smoking a cigar

and this happened three days in a row okay because it took about two days for it to really hit I'm also like I'm also eating I'm eating jalapenos

I'm eating habanero let me ride right and so I'm sitting on the balcony and I take a puff of my cigar and I take a puff and I'm like oh I gotta poop

and I just shit and it's like liquid shit too so then it's draining through the shorts and then I'm like it's just like a good it a puff of my cigar, and I take a puff. I'm like, oh, I've got to poop, and I just shit. And it's like liquid shit, too. So then it's draining through the shorts, and then I'm like, ugh. It's just like a good, it's what, that Target pair, the Goodfellas, you know? And so I shit then. I put that, wash it off a little bit, hide it. And then the next day I come out, the same thing happens again. I'm shitting throughout the day.

It's not like I'm just avoiding the bathroom. I'm on the toilet, but it's just coming where statistically I'm not fast enough to get to the toilet from the time I have to shit. So I shit three days straight. My girlfriend's birthday happens the last day we're there we go to the restaurant i shit seven times at the restaurant my ass is bleeding like bleeding profusely right and so we go about we get a pepto bismal so we go so we go this is the best part we go to a pharmacy because i'm in the cab on the way there i'm like hey i'm about to shit in this cab we have to get pepto bismal so i walk in and i go to this lady at the counter and i go como se dice uh pepto abysmal in espanol which means what's pepto abysmal in spanish and she just goes she goes pepto abysmal she spoke perfect english she's like i'm from

detroit dude and then she goes do you want the regular Pepto-Bismol or the diarrhea Pepto-Bismol? And I was like, oh, which one do you, I think that's a diarrhea. And then I drink it and so here's what literally happens. I'm not even lying. I'm in the cab

and we're at Cobblestone Road in Puerto Vallarta. So we're just sitting there doing this the whole time. So I lift the Pepto-Bismol up and I'm shitting the same time it comes out, okay? I drink half the bottle

when we get there with the Casa Kimberly. It's Elizabeth Taylor's old house that she would fuck in. It was beautiful. And my girlfriend goes, get in the bathtub with me. It overlooks the city.

It's gorgeous. I'm like, no, no, no. I didn't do it. I didn't do it. That fucking reckless said it straight up irresponsible. And what is she doing asking you? I know.

I'm like, Laura, go in the bathroom. Yeah, yeah. I'm like, go in the bathroom. Have you been with me this past week? i'm like go in the bathroom you've been with me this past week i'm like dude like if you want this to happen this is a bonding experience we'll let it ride i don't know man she pissed on me one time i was just saying weird dildos in your gaping asshole you're peeing on her maybe she knew exactly what she wanted hey gaping that's how to don't make it's a skill okay those girls do it okay but so i so i drink

half the bottle of pepto bismol and then i was gonna drink the rest but i looked up if you drink like a whole bottle you'll die and so so everything so i drink it i wake up the next morning i don't shit i'm like we're living right and then we get to the ports of arizona airport my asshole is like hurting i think it's because like the blood and you wipe a lot right and so i'm sitting there i kind of like sitting down i reach over my shorts and i pull my hand out. My hand's covered in black tar shit. Like it looks like, it looks like I used to like concrete.

It looks like concrete, right? And so I walked to the bathroom. I pull my pants down and they already have a garbage can in each stall because they know what's going on. It's Mexico, right? So I pull off my Duluth underwear, $14 for that pair

and it's covered in black tar shit and it reminded me of one time my cousin when I was a kid, we shot a deer and we couldn't find it for about a week and we found it a week later covered in maggots that's what my shit smelled like oh my god right and so i threw that i threw it if he thinks about your shit being covered in that yeah there it goes there it goes don't worry it's maggot shit. Don't worry, pal. Yeah, you got him. You got him.

That's my KFC bingo card. I just hit it. I've been playing for six months straight, dude. Terry's got to get my name tattooed on his ass. There we go. You got it, man. That whiskey's coming right back up. Breakfast is coming up.

That corny hat is on the outside. This is like fuck a fan on Pornstar, dude. This is amazing. You did it, man. He said it's the K-3 to bingo card. He's like, I got it. Bingo. It didn't even take no weird shit Vib's had.

This is all words. Vib's a pussy, dude. Using all kinds of other stuff. I'm using words, baby. Yes, I threw it away and put it, you know, and then flew back. So that's why I'm it with my asshole. So I got to say it. So I don't like Austin

yeah yeah so Austin's not for me how the fuck did we get here man holy shit that's what's weird about it all it's like

you know I'm living and it's like you know you're in a career and it's funny because I have fans and it's like people like some people like drive

like far and wide to come see one guy drove like nine hours to come see a show. They pay money. It's amazing to watch. At the end of the day, a lot of my shows end up with me talking about my asshole. People are like, dude, you're my favorite comic.

I'm like, okay, we're going to do ten minutes on my gaping asshole tonight. By the way, my girlfriend's dad has seen it. He's seen that bit. That's always the weird part for me. I don't give a shit about like regular anonymous fans but when you you know yeah people start to know you or yeah it's like well a bunch of my gay fans from e they always want they're like we'll test it out yeah yeah prove it prove it dude yeah they always talk about it i've gotten so many messages from people being like gay dudes being like uh i'll pay a thousand dollars for an OnlyFans.

Dude, when I was in COVID, because my COVID was awful. I lost everything. I mean, I didn't lose my life, but I lost everything. Just from not being able to tour. Just not being able to. You were probably just popping. Bro, I had. Just starting to get tickets.

No, no, no, no, no, no. Before COVID, I had 8,000 followers on Instagram. Oh, wow. I was a headliner that would come in when someone dropped out. So like when someone canceled, I'm the guy you call last minute and you know I'm available, right? Right, right. Working in Vegas, no internet, anything, right? And then COVID happens, never got unemployment, whole life, got evicted partially, everything's going down, post a video, goes viral, TikTok goes viral.

I was with Terry right here when this video went viral. What was that video? It's a Kevin Hart bit. So it was just you doing stand-up, though? It was just me doing stand-up. That's the hardest way to build a following is through stand-up. But I remember me and Terry were on our way to the comedy catch. I had sold 33 tickets, so you're not making any money.

And I posted the video while we were driving on the way up there. And when I got off stage, it had 256, and then i was like what the this is crazy so it goes up to 1.6 million eventually and then that led over to my instagram and then for my instagram i had a clip of crowd work go viral and then an anal bit go viral and um and it all went and then the rock followed me from that and it's and it's like so crazy because it's like he posted being like this dude's fucking because people talk people make fun followed me from that and it's like so crazy and he posed being like this dude's fucking hilarious because people talk people make fun of me

right they go it's The Rock what's the big deal I'm like bitch I grew up in the 90s dude I grew up in the south

he says that yeah you can grow up to yesterday and The Rock is a fucking he's the fucking my girlfriend goes

why is he he's the Hobbs and Shaw guy right I'm like bitch I will hit you right now he's the Hobbs and Shaw guy, right? I'm like, bitch, I will hit you right now. He's a god.

He's a god amongst men. I say this about Jackass and then also the WWF Attitude Era. I think they're the two funniest, most entertaining things of all time. Most important things. Yeah, and culturally, for For our age Our demo guys That grew up in that Like it's the funniest Most important thing

Have they ever let you down Yeah right Have they ever let you down Never And the fact that he Obviously then takes that And becomes you know Mr. America

Like you know The most important guy In the country Like he's it man He is it That's what's funny Is like now I'm in like

So we're like Cause we've had Cause when it happened My buddy was at the club And he told me and like, he told me that the rock follows you. And I was like, nah, bro, it's probably a fake account. And then when he showed me, I'm about to get on stage. So I'm about to get on stage for 10 people in Vegas.

Okay. And I'm in the back of the room and I just start downing tequila. I am just downing it. And I'm like, the rock, the rock. And I'm like, people like the 10 people are there. Like I'm five foot away from that going. So it's like the rock follows me. The rock, y'all, the fucking, the rock follows me. Y'all are here seeing me fucking right now. They're like foot away from that. The Rock follows me. The Rock follows me.

Y'all are here seeing me right now. They're like, okay, well, you're not funny right now. I don't need to be funny no more. The Rock follows me, dude. I'll suck his dick and be Paul Walker's brother. Fuck you, dude. The whole thing happened. And so I get home.

I'm crying. I'm bawling because this is validation. Think about in this business. That was from the Kevin Hart video? The video about me doing crowd work. I was in Denver and I had this bit and I was going to do a crowd work album. This guy up front, he didn't laugh the entire

show and I made fun of him. Crowd work is kind of hacky at a certain point because everything's been done. I do feel like if a comic says anything, it's like oh, he dunked on it. because it's just everything's been done yeah but this guy just had i do feel like if the comics is anything it's like oh he dunked on yeah sometimes really funny other times yeah there's a couple youtube comics too they're like heckler gets on and it's like okay dude you i get one heckler every six months and you have one every show and you're recording perfectly and they say yes it's like fuck off on that and you know who you are um

but so you have those people so it's like this guy wasn't heckling and it's like fuck off on that and you know who you are um but so you have those people so it's like this guy wasn't heckling and it's just a great video but i make fun of them but also just call them hot the whole time and the clip just fucking took off it just took off for some reason i don't know why that and the anal bits so my page was just growing and so um when i got home i've asked the rock thing i'm crying crying. I call my mom. And it's just, think about it. When you do podcasting, when you do comedy, whatever you do, all you want to do is have your, a lot of times for me, my peers respect me, right? Because you can do well. There's a bunch of people that have followings that we don't respect in comedy.

A bunch of people have podcasts that we don't respect, okay? But we respect the following, but not really them, what they do, okay? And so certain moments in my life, like when Big Jay came up to me one time and told me i was funny big jokers and i'm like that's a that's a win when colin quinn knew my name as the vegas guy that's a win and so with the rock follow me i was like this is like i've had this awful year right i was working a day job last year i've been on tv 12 times i was paying 60 bucks a day delivering furniture in las vegas and then i had this guy follow me so i'm calling i'm calling everyone that'll fucking answer. I'm crying on the phone.

I get drunk, go home, okay? And then I drink some more. I go, I'm going to make a video for The Rock. My girlfriend's like, why don't you get sober? I go, because that's not who I am, bro. We're not sober. We just took a shot at fucking 12 o'clock in the morning. That's not what we do, baby.

Let it ride, okay? So I make this video, and she cut it short, thankfully, because I didn't realize. I thought it was like 30 seconds. It's a four and a half minute video bro i swear to god i was this close to saying i would blow him i was this close but dude if you if you all about my i don't even hear about my asshole if you saw the other bit but like whatever you want to do rock i don't care it was bigger you know and so i'm like i'm all on board with them and i'm like i'm crying by the end of the video because it's an emotional thing.

It's not posted. And then, you know, everything's cool. I'm selling tickets. I'm at my buddy, Jared, from the cigar company, Christoph Cigars. We're smoking cigars in his garage. And I get like 50 notifications on my phone. And he sends me, I'm getting these notifications with a video. And I'm like, why is everyone just now seeing this video?

And I look and The Rock reposted it. And I grab my phone and I fucking throw it out. I'm like, read this right now. And he goes? And I look, and The Rock reposted it. And I grab my phone, and I fucking throw it out. I'm like, read this right now. And he goes, what are you doing, dude? And he picked it up. He goes, are you fucking kidding me? Are you fucking kidding me? He's from Boston.

He's like, you fucking guy. Are you fucking kidding me, fucking guy? Whatever, you know? And then he reads this off. And The Rock reposted it individually, and he posted, Rocky Dale Davis, remember the name. The world will hear from him one day. Wow.

And dude, like, I can't. Like, I swear to hear from him one day. Wow. And dude, I can't. I swear to God, I was in the garage, two dudes with a boner, we both had boners, we're smoking cigar. That was one of the most defining moments

of my life. It's a validation you don't get. You don't get that in this industry. You get the crowds every night, but you never know, am I doing the right thing? Am I really fucking funny? You don't know if you're funny.

Because I can go on stage and make race jokes and crowd work for 30 minutes and it's hack as fuck but it'll work right so it's that was like the one of the biggest moments and also from a dude who's so like inspirational yeah goals and dreams like remember the name yeah it's not just like yo this guy's funny it's like remember the fucking name that's i think he's like the third most followed Person on Instagram In like the world He has He has like Like the majority of He has like

260 million followers That was like The entire population Of America When we were growing up Like 300 million people You know Dude I come from

A town with 1800 people So it's like And by the way Every day My morning routine is I wake up I take a pee I brush my teeth

And I check and see If the rock is unfollowed me Every day. I'm like, it's an accident. He doesn't mean it. Have you DM'd it? Yeah,

so we've had a couple conversations. We've had a couple things. He's like, hey man, stop talking about blowing me. We're friends now. It's all good.

So we've had a couple conversations about some things but he responds to my comments on Instagram which is just the funniest fucking thing.

Well, that's important too though. He keeps it up. That's i'm saying though so like not just like a one-time exactly put this guy on and forget about him he like actually enjoys it and what i think he appreciates about me is like you know so like a bunch of comics i came on this podcast a bunch of comics i've done rogan and they did they just come on they sit here yeah this is my story and they fucking suck or they do well and they just fucking lose it their instagrams them you know posting fucking pictures of mayonnaise or whatever like it's just stupid it's like you have to take this and use this the best way you can so if you it's like the rock doing that for me it's not what made me successful but what i did with that or like the day he did that he reposted i posted two more clips and they also went by so that's got to be

the most pressure-packed thing Yeah Yeah no I feel Yeah you feel like You have like the back And like you got like Like now you're like Alright motherfucker I got this motherfucker behind me Let's let this ride

No I'd say the opposite I'm afraid to put anything out Once someone like Important follows me I'm like I won't post for a while I want them to forget about me Until I post again So I have like

Did you have like a Like a go to couple clips Did you have like a go-to couple clips? Did you put up new shit? Old shit? No, so we put out two. A bit that you know hits? Because that's the thing. Yeah.

When someone like follows us on Twitter, it's like, I don't, like I'm supposed to tweet about what's going on right now, but I'm not going to. Just so you know, this is going to suck. Yeah, because you don't want to put out trash, right? So now when I get through my mind, I'm like, is my mom going to like this? Is my girlfriend going to like this? And is The Rock going to like this? It's like my to like this? And then is The Rock going to like this? It's like my three.

That was reversal. And y'all got me in trouble one time. Y'all got me in trouble. Y'all fucking up. Me and my buddy, we did an answer to the internet along with hot ones. So we did both at the same time. Oh, okay, cool. We did this video.

So one of the questions was if your mom and your girlfriend switched bodies and you had to bang one of them to switch one of you to fuck. So when he asked me the question. I started laughing because we're drunk as well. I rubbed hot sauce in my eye and I'm like, fuck. And then I was like,

I was like, I was like, my mom? I was like, I have to bang my mom to get my girlfriend's body back? I was like, I don't like my girlfriend's body

that much. And that got your boy in trouble right there, dude. She didn't mind anything else. No responsibility for that? That's not our fault? Did it not come for us? Did it get 30,000 likes on TikTok?

Yeah, it did. So worth it. Did we sell out in Cincinnati? Yes, we did, baby. Now go hit the gym, baby. Holy shit. Get working, girl. I don't like my girl's body that much anyway.

That is a kamikaze mission, man. I said it, and the guy with me just went, he's like, man, I don't know about that. He said, dude, make fun of Benghazi or something. Don't touch on that. Dude, mock somebody else, dude. Say something racist. Drop your slurs out here.

I follow that up with a bunch of racist slurs. I never supported the Asians. Stop Asian hate. What? No. No, dude. Never was a problem Oh my god Yeah you are a wild man

My name's Chris DeStefano Everybody I'm Theo Vaughn Before the mall And everyone So that happens You know you pop You're up over

100,000 followers now And I'm always curious If that Like that translates To ticket sales too. It's cool if it's like, alright, awesome, you get some followers and your friends call you, but the next night at the club it's still 33

people. Who fucking cares? It's up to the people. I've been trying to tell comics. I don't know if you know Matthew Broussard and Nathan McIntosh. They're two great New York comics. I was talking about the social media the other day because you have to do it

I think the best person on social media is Bert Kreischer and Bert has been great to me he gave me money a couple times he's helped me

on the road he's a really nice guy and so what he does try watching a Bert video where he doesn't promote his tour good luck he won't fucking

find one and he's doing the marching band and fireworks and whatever. Every time I have a fucking idea, it comes out of him first. So him and Andrew Schultz. Andrew Schultz is a guy that I think so much because I hit up Andrew about... I had an idea similar to Andrew's

four years ago. I had a guy who was going to invest. I didn't have the money to. And the guy never invested. And he goes, there's no money in it. Well, Andrew Schultz does kind of the idea way better and way more efficient than i would have done i was just going to record a set and put it all on facebook and youtube with the top and bottom lettering okay that was not not kind of like what andrew did but not the same level of skill i'm not trying to say he did my idea he fucking way ahead of me and did better but he's been very nice my entire career and so with those guys they

promote like motherfuckers and so when i see someone like on a big podcast and then like after it happens they're not posting a clip they're not posting their tour what are you doing like it's like if you go on rogan right you got 90 million fucking people listening to you or whatever you know dude use that when he posts that tip put a fucking stand-up clip up put your tour up put your plug your podcast you know welcome to brookwood rocky dale davis episode three so you have to plug stuff and it's that's the only thing that pisses me off with comics is a lot of times we don't realize like being funny is the is my the most important thing because being funny shines through but also dude if you know how to market you can fucking make it work without the money and it feels like so

annoying like you feel like you're bothering people. Yeah. You feel like you're not. But it's like I always think that everybody who follows me is seeing that exact post every single time I post it. Oh, dude. No. Like a fraction see it then. A fraction see it the next day. Yes.

A fraction see it the next day. But then there's always 10 people, let's say, who see all of them. Yeah. Stop fucking posting. Those nerds. You're the fucking loser who sees all of my posts. How many times are you going to post this, bro?

How many times are you going to see it? Turn off the fucking notification bell then, dickhead. I have people at my shows that I mention The Rock. They don't know he follows me. I'm like, bro, I've posted about this and talked about this every fucking day. I don't realize, too, once you've been doing it for a while, a story that I feel like I've told – I have told a million times.

Yeah. But there's a whole new slew of fans who haven't heard it yet. It's like, I got to tell it again. Yeah. But it's good. It's a good story. It's funny. It's why it worked with the first –

Exactly. It's why fans are going to work with the next set of fans. You can't – I was on that for a while. You can't – where comics go go I don't want to burn material If I do the Tonight Show I'm going to burn this five No you're not No one watches

Jimmy Fallon No one watches Jimmy Fallon I would use my Garbage material Yeah I could pull my dick out On the street right here

On fucking 7th And more people would See my penis And see that fucking show No one cares about it It's crazy what Matters now Yeah

And then you talk about You talk about clubs And clubs are, what TV credits do you have? I'm like, well, I have 12 TV credits, right? And no one knows me from them. Right. I've been on this podcast. Yeah, literally. It's like a Burt's podcast.

Boy, I did Burt's podcast. I didn't do good on it, but I got 1,000 followers off of his podcast in the first day. That's more than I got from NBC, CMT, BET, Amazon, and Epix combined. It's like no one watches that bullshit. It's so crazy. That's why I've gotten out of like NBC was the fucking worst. I got out of that shit so hard.

I did Bring the Funny on NBC and it fucking sucked. I was going to say, I haven't heard of it. I couldn't tell you what that is. It was like primetime television. Guys, coming up after This Is Us when five babies die and it's really sad, we had Bring the Funny. Is it a scripted show or a competition show? America's Got Talent with comedy.

That worked when they did Last Comic Standing, you know, whenever, how many years ago? Years ago. And then it never really worked out. Never. I used to live with Ralphie May. So Ralphie May found me at Open Mic. Okay. So I go from being an Open Mic-er

to being on a theater tour three months later. Wow. And I used to work with Ralphie. And Ralphie was one of the greatest comics that ever lived. Yeah. He passed away now,

but he's one of the greatest comics. Because Ralphie, he would be like, hey, do between 20 to 45 tonight. And I go, that's a big, big difference there, Ralphie.

That's a big fucking difference, dude. I'm 22 at the time. I'm in front of crowds that don't like young people. 20 to 45 tonight and I go that's a big big difference it's a big fucking difference dude I'm 22 at the time I'm in front of crowds that don't like young people 20 to 45 and I go either do this or do

over double this work 8 hours or 16 whatever you want to do cause he would tell me this and then like he would go I would be like what do you mean

he goes well I don't know if I'm gonna be like he's like I don't know if I want to go on stage so just kind of do your time and look over

and see if I'm there because he would do it because it made you better though and so but don't be wrong I'm going to be like, he's like, I don't know what I want to go on stage. So just kind of do your time and then look over and see if I'm there. Because he would do it because it made you better though. But don't get me wrong, I bombed a lot of nights. There's a bunch of casinos in Iowa that don't fucking like me, okay? But he would make me try out jokes

every night. But that was like one of the last original, like last comic guys. That's died out. You can't run that style of television anymore because no one cares.

Everyone appreciates authenticity. That's why they, you listen to this podcast, you guys don't write jokes for this podcast. This a very successful podcast and you know why it's because you're authentic it's just because you just you are that's why i don't change anything about me i had a guy one time to change your accent and i was like why he goes because you ain't gonna work with that accent i'm like yeah matthew mcconaughey's had a really tough time here lately you fucking idiot you know i actually think the accent's a cheat code i think the accent's funnier.

You know what's actually good? It's a little bit like Nate Bargatze, but you're talking about your gaping asshole. Yeah. It's like if Nate were to fucking get drunk one night and finally not complain, it would be since the last two, man. That's what always cracks me up.

Because if I slow down, me and Nate lived two and a half hours apart originally. So he was born in Hickory, or not Hickory, I think it's Hickory, Tennessee. And then I'm born in Tuscaloosa, Alabama. So it's like a two and a half hours apart originally. So he was born in Hickory, or not Hickory. Yeah, I think it's Hickory, Tennessee. And then I'm born in Tuscaloosa, Alabama. So it's like a two and a half hour difference. So if I slow down, I sound like

Nate a lot, right? I can hear it, yeah. But I try not to, because I'm a big fan of Nate. I think Nate's one of the best comics working. So that's why no one ever... I get compared to Theo Vaughn a lot. And Theo, the ones that cracks me up, because I'm like, dude, we sound like... To me, we sound nothing alike. We look look nothing alike and our material is absolutely nothing a lot of people hear any sort of accent somebody called me Larry the cable guy the other day you know like okay

they're probably all people from the north yeah don't you know have somebody said somebody said you're stealing from Gary Owen the other day too and I'm like what where are you where y'all fucking listening no but there is a there is a Nate vibe to it. I don't watch them as, I love them. I try not to watch them as much because we just sound similar. We pause similar ways. And hopefully he'll die and I'll just take all of his jokes. I'm hoping he dies.

I get his new hour. His new hour is great. Just start putting albums out. Yeah. Dude, my dad was a clown, brother. My dad was a clown. Not fun for your dad to be a clown that's awesome so then all right so then tickets start selling and now it's just like off to the races yeah tickets have been selling like crazy um we got shadow banned on instagram which that

fucked up i said white trash yeah jb was telling me about this yeah so white trash i posted a clip a clean bit arizona series it says white trash and you know for a fact it's this or you just know for a fact yeah because it's but i had the analytics of it too which people that don't if you don't believe in shadow banning what's funny by the way if you're a person and you have 45 facebook followers and you try to relate your shadow ban to mine you can go fuck yourself like dude all i said was covet makes you gay and i got banned for two weeks i couldn't I have Facebook followers, and you try to relate your shadow ban to mine. You can go fuck yourself. He's like, dude, all I said was COVID makes you gay, and I got banned for two weeks. I couldn't post recipes or Chip and Joanne anymore.

It's like very different things. So I had posted white trash. They took it down for hate speech and bullying. It's a clean bit, by the way, clean. Is that you think someone reported you or did Instagram found it? I don't know if they reported me because reporting wouldn't make it wouldn't make much sense i but it all it was it happened in the same week a bunch of comics got taken down i think the algorithm changed and it was there was a robot so i posted again how ridiculous it was that white trash got taken down and they take that down again and it said your account may be deleted right

which then i'm starting to freak out because you gotta think this is now it's like you know everybody wants to be a hard ass right i was gonna say i'm a hard ass oh yeah you're gonna censor me i'm gonna post about it again they're like that's two strikes like yeah yeah yeah yeah daddy please sorry zuckerberg daddy zuckerberg please you know you lose your instagram you know that's it but i'm out pictures of pumpkins and that's it yeah yeah after that it's all fucking you know played by the rules exactly because i don't have, with Schultz and guys like that, even like Dylan or someone,

they can play around with it more because they kind of have a podcast successful. So if something got taken down, they could build their following kind of back and it wouldn't really affect it. But I didn't have my podcast going officially at the time. And so when they took it down,

I got fucking worried. So I reached out to my agency. And so my accounts reached, for seven days, is usually fucking worried. So I reached out to my agency. So my accounts reached for seven days is usually at 1.1 million. It dropped down for three weeks straight to 69,000 accounts reached. So they talked to

Instagram. Instagram apologized, put it back up. Put it back up on Facebook as well. So I posted the video. They put it back and they said, sorry, this was a mistake in our algorithm. And then they,

so I repost, I posted, we won with a screenshot of the video on Facebook. Facebook took it down immediately. We said we're sorry. We didn't say you could run up the score on us,

motherfucker. I said, Twitter's the best, bitch. No, but they posted it back up too. But so it went back up, but in my accounts, my accounts reached within up too. So it went back up, and my accounts reached within two weeks,

went back to a million. And so it's crazy, but during that time, I had road dates. So I lost, I counted it up, had everything sold out, which it would have. I was in big markets. I lost $15,000 total over that time span

from this happening. And they just, we're sorry. I know. It's like, okay. You're going to cut a check in grand. That's not good enough. I'm sorry. That's not good enough.

You cost me fucking money over your bullshit roles. But that's why a mailing list and a podcast are so utterly important. Because you have to have some way to reach out to the people. I had dreams of somehow trying to make our own platform or something. People say that. They go, dude, just make your own platform and bring the people in. And I'm like, what the fuck does that mean?

I have to learn how to code first. It's a whole thing. Platform. I don't even know what the fuck a platform is. What are you fucking talking about? The biggest guy in the world didn't go, he's on platform. He just went to one of the other ones. He went to Spotify. Somebody told me, dude, just go sign up exclusively with Spotify. And I'm like, for my 500 listener didn't go he's on platform he just went to one of the other ones he went to Spotify right right somebody told me somebody told me they go dude just go sign

exclusively with Spotify and I'm like for my 500 listener and episode podcast yeah they're really gonna cough up the change on that one guys

you know someone's like do a podcast with The Rock I'm like yeah he's got time he's got he's filming nine movies at once

the guy's not drinking water okay he's just sitting there working out every day reading fucking scripts and shit, you know? Yeah, we were doing a podcast together. Drinking tequila. What'd you do this week in the Rock?

He's like, well, you know, I ate 45 whole goats, and I lifted, and I recorded Jumanji 1, 2, and 5. Like, what are you talking about, dude? Did you see the clip, by the way? Not the clip, or I guess I read it, about, I never heard him talk about the Vin Diesel beat. You saw that? I did not. I heard he said we all got a good chuckle out of that

Yeah so Vin Diesel said Because you know him and The Rock have Beef and Vin Diesel said That that was all the result of him Trying to get the most out of everyone On set that he uses He used some term called like Fellini-esque I guess there's some guy named David Fellini

Or whatever his name is. I'm butchering it. But I guess his idea was like, I'm going to be an asshole to you to push you and bring the best out of you. Which he invented. Even Fellini getting credit for that. Like, I want to be a dickhead. Yeah, negative reinforcement was like your thing. Like the Jordan thing.

Right, right. But he was like, yeah, that taught Dwayne how to act, basically. And as he's on the set of this new Disney Into the Jungle or whatever it's fucking called. Jungle Boat. But he was like, yeah, that taught Dwayne how to act, basically. And as he's on the set of this new Disney, Into the Jungle, or whatever it's fucking called. Jungle World. Jungle World, whatever it is. Another $200 million blockbuster. I'm sorry, Jungle Cruise. Jungle Cruise.

I'm sorry. I'm not going to sit at the table and let y'all fuck with my friend like this. I'm getting real worked up. You got to defend Dwayne and the Rod Johns until he's fucking dead. There's a whole ride at Disney World about it. So watch your fucking mouth, okay? I'm done with this shit. Is this my camera right here?

Hey, Vin. Hey, Diesel. What's up? Your fucking stupid-ass name is, bro? Rockin' Rough and Rowdy. Yeah, dude. You singing sucks, okay? And if you want to throw down at Rough and Rowdy,

you little fucking puffed-up bitch, you can catch these hands. Don't fuck with DJ. That's my friend, The Rock. The TV's The Rock catch these hands don't fuck with DJ that's my friend The Rock The Rock the TV's The Rock okay don't fuck with him

catch these hands bitch rough and rowdy okay I don't know if I can sit here and allow this to happen as a Fast and Furious diehard it might end up being me and you for both

bro I don't know if I can sit here as a person with a logical brain and let this happen I was getting the best out of The Rock on Fast and Furious. Shut the fuck up, Vin Diesel. Yeah, Vin Diesel.

Every movie, The Rock gets more jacked and Vin Diesel is puffing out like the Michelin Man. Every movie, he just gets more puffier. It's less jacked every time. I'm like, all right, bro.

I love Fast and Furious. Be careful, though. I love Fast and Furious, but I will admit that me and Vin have dangerously close bodies. Yeah, they did you dirty the other day with that picture. That screenshot y'all took, dude?

No, I don't know. That's just his picture, bro. That's just his face, man. I don't know what you're talking about. He didn't do anybody dirty. My driver's license photo, I went in, and you look at me. I'm a great-looking dude, right? We know that, okay?

Fake Mexican teeth. I got them done in Mexico. So it's all good. So I went in to get my driver's license done, and I forgot you to take off your hat, right? And I had been lifting. Let me see it. You got it on you? No, fuck. I got it's all good. So I went in to get my driver's license done, and I forgot you had to take off your hat, right? And I had been lifting. Let me see it. You got it on you? No, fuck.

I got it in the green. I look like a terrorist in mine. Oh, I look sick. Mine is... Do you have your wallet in there? I have been denied things. That's not it. It is the sexiest picture.

Minus the fact that you're probably a 16-year-old boy. But it is the sexiest picture you have ever seen let me see this look at that kid man he looks like a surfer bro like just absolutely a dime you're out of your mind

I'd be like hey bro give your cousin back his ID dog you look like that guy that was in every 90s movie that was like really sexy I can't think of his name but he was like always like the antagonist

in every 90s movie like that's what you're like you had the bleach blonde hair bro you look fucking sexy what do you think of feidelberg's blonde hair right now yeah bro he's trying to call this blonde he You're saying that's blonde? Yes. Okay. Yeah, I got you, buddy. The lighting really lights it up, right? It's straight up Ed Sheeran. It's bad lighting. It's bad lighting. Do you think it's blonde?

Like with 100% in your... It's Ed Sheeran. Yeah, yeah, I know. I honestly do think it's blonde. Also, bro, you got to stop fucking with my guy like that, though. That's a bad, like you're catching the worst angles. The worst angles. Mine, the guy put the camera low on mine, so I took my chin to try,

because the camera was low, so I tried to come down, and I go like this right here, and I have like two chins in my damn picture, and everyone talks about it when I go to a bar. That's not you, and your hair is not blonde. I look straight up. Like, I mean, for a guy who,

you know, I'm a pussy. I don't know what I was trying to be like tough that day or something. I just look like, yeah, take the fork.

Let me drive. Let me legally drive this fucking car. This is like your mugshot, dude. Yeah, it's really. Like,

if I ever, yeah. You're so, but see, you did it smart though because you kept it high and if you put, if you put the,

your tongue to the top of your – yeah, that's – Oh, wait. Come on. Anyone who's got a couple pounds on them knows that one. Oh, what is it? Chutton's here? That's why I love pictures, bro. Wait, doesn't it push it out?

No, no, no, no, because you're going up. You got to – because you're like – Wait, I'm doing it wrong because mine's coming out. What am I, stupid? I can't do this right? Wait, hang on. Now that you say it, yeah, mine's coming out, too. Look, like, put your finger there. It pushes it down, no? No, mine do this right? Wait, hang on. Now that you say it, yeah, mine's coming out too. Look, put your finger there.

It pushes it down, no? No, mine comes up. Oh, mine comes down. What am I doing then? This is a bunch of idiots. Our podcast should just be, I hate the name of our podcast. I hate Casey Rito. We should just call it Bunch of Idiots.

Yeah. Welcome back to Bunch of Idiots. You should get a black guy and call it brilliant idiots you know alright listen you come out with a podcast that's the same name Schultz is coming for that

he's like bro what I'm gonna start a podcast called Flagrant 3 yeah come get some Schultz yeah dude oh no

I think it's a Flagrant 1 Flagrant 2 then we have Flagrant 3 then I do Flagrant 4 the follow up of flagrant two. Then we had flagrant three. Then I did flagrant four, the follow-up of flagrant three. Fast and flagrant. There's like the Howard Jones wrap-up, right? There is like a wrap-up. What is this?

Not Howard Jones. That's the shitty hotel that the Comedy Zone puts you in. I don't know who Howard Jones is. Howard, fuck Stern. Howard Stern wrap-up. He has a whole wrap-up of his show. Dude, that is some brilliant shit. That's just like, It's the Howard Stern show

The only thing that's missing Is Howard Stern And it still somehow Does Howard Stern numbers That's what's so great Like you look at like People that just like milk Like I love

I love like a good Just milk it Till it's fucking done Well but you're not even We're not even talking about milking Cause it's still I mean he just Well I guess

Now it's like two years old But a hundred million dollar A year contract Yeah It's not like he's like limping And like we're You know we're getting blood from a stone here. It's like he's still in his prime. He does a good job.

Money-wise. But I listen to the show. I will say it is very- Yeah. I don't- I feel like people listen to it. If you like it now and you just find it now, whatever. Right.

But if you used to listen to it, it's like, I mean, he used to be fucking strippers. No, I used to jack off to the show when I was a kid. 100%. On E! Bro, on E! Thank you, dude. I love it. It was wild on. mean, he used to be fucking strippers. No, I used to jack off to the show when I was a kid. Thank you. I love it. It was wild on Brooke Burke and fucking Howard Stern.

The circus shit would happen, like the circus intro and I used to lock the door and then I would sit and I used to have one of those where it folded out

the little couches you had in kindergarten, like the little seat that would grab the bottom and I'd lay back on that and I'd wait for him to talk. Robin came on the screen and I was like,

fucking. Someone would come on and screen and he was like fucking. And you're like, someone would come on and like you couldn't see anything but they would talk about it. Dude, that was the fucking days. And then my friend, he killed his dad

but he sold me porn before he killed his dad. So like, that's why his dad got in a fight with him one time because he was stealing his porn and selling it at school

so I would trade, I got reduced lunch and I would give him my lunch for the porn books, right? And then his dad found him doing it. His dad beat him, and then he killed his dad. Yeah. I'm understanding the Theo Vaughn talk now.

That's a real story, dude. Look it up. Look it up. Jeremy and me. You would get, say it again, you would get the reduced lunch? So I got free lunch during school. Poor, poor, poor people. Yeah.

The reduced lunch is poor. No, think about that. You got to think. So back in, back in my day. How old are you? I'm 28. Oh, poor, poor people. Yeah. Reduced lunches. Poor! No, think about that. You have to think. So back in, back in my day. How old are you? I'm 28. Oh, what the fuck?

You're a baby, man. Don't do that because you think, I thought I was a lot older, right? Well, no, just the way you were talking, I thought we were like the same age. Fuck you.

I'm 45 right now. How about that? Fuck off. I had a girl one time. This is an awful, I'll tell this and then that. So I had a girl one time and this is an awful,

awful thing, but she was like. And she killed her dad too. So I had a girl one time. This is an awful, awful thing. And she killed her dad, too. So she was flirting with me. And she goes, yeah, kids these days, they just don't get it. They weren't raised in the same era as us. And she's like older. And I go, how old do you think I am? And she goes, what, like 40, 42?

Oh, no. I was 23 at the time. I was 23. You do not look old at all. Yeah, well, okay. But yeah, because I get called old every day. I mean, you're ugly, but you're not old. I'm done, dude.

Where's Caller Daddy at? I'm done with this shit. Go pull out my dick for them. No, so Jared, I should say his name. But the guy. You already did. Yeah, it doesn't really matter. He's out.

He's out, brother. He went to Applebee's. So he would get his porn books. He would get these Playboys And I never jacked off Before in my life And I went to my friend Jarrett's house

And we watched porn For the first time And I remember the first time I masturbated Dude like Do you remember You masturbated with him No no no

We took turns right So you watch the computer For a little bit Like five minutes You know so you can do Like three notes out of that Right But I remember the first time

I masturbated Did you really Yeah I did serious Yeah yeah Cause he had internet I'd never been to a house That had like full internet But it was like You go in the other room Yeah yeah yeah Five minutes Yeah yeah yeah You come and then it's his turn Yeah. Did you really? Yeah, I did serious. Yeah, yeah. He had internet. I'd never been to a house that had full internet.

But it was like, you go in the other room, and it's five minutes here. Yeah, yeah. And you come, and then it's his turn? Yeah, yeah. Did you ever do something like that? Uh, no. We would watch porn together,

but there was no coming. I was going to say we watched together. Yeah, yeah. I just had to come later, I guess. Ours was way gayer. I'm like, I sound straight right now. You queers over here. You're like, we'll take turns.

Nobody touch each other, okay? You're making fun of me. I'm like, yeah, I did it the correct way. I sucked his dick. We'd be on like bunk beds. One of us would be on the floor.

We'd all just... Yeah. No, that's not... Yeah, no. So we would take turns because he had a high-speed internet

because he played like one of the internet games. So we watched. I remember the first time I masturbated. hook up at DSL. Oh, dude,

well, Rotten Tomatoes used to be a porn website, which no one... People forget that. Rotten Tomatoes used to be a porn and which no one people forget that Rotten Tomatoes used to be a porn and a death website

you can watch people get murdered on there no one understands that no no no you're talking about Rotten.com oh Rotten.com yeah yeah yeah

Rotten.com I've spread that Rotten Tomatoes about five podcasts now I like how we're the first ones who can call you on it no no no I used to go on

Rotten.com all the time my special's not gonna to do great on there. Critics review, 0%. Nanette 2, 5,000. The thought of some CEO being like, you know what? That girl,

that little girl getting hit by the train, that's not doing it. Let's do movies. Let's say if movies are good or bad. B-movie 2, 96%. Let's do that.

Wow, dude. Damn, that's like some shit. You ever think about... That happens to me all the time, dude. I thought Guam... My girlfriend told me she was going to do a job in Guam, and I thought Guam was in Guatemala. I swear to God.

That's fair. I had no idea. It's his own place, dude. So he had the books, and he would... The first time I mastered it, I had no idea it's his own place dude so so Jared so he had the books and he would the first time I masturbated so I remember

the first time I masturbated I came and I remember I've been chasing that dragon you know for 14 years that first time

your toes lock up you kick the wall it flies out it feels like you know it's just wild you know and so I remember

like two weeks after that, Jeremy was selling porn. So I got free lunch. This was back when lunch was good. It happened the year after. The year I got in high school was when lunch got bad. They took all the sodas, they took all the cookies, and they replaced it with healthy bullshit.

It's like in Alabama. Healthy to us was like, okay, we won't put five sticks of butter in it. Paula Deen was all my lunch ladies. But I so but I would get them like so I get reduced lunch I get like five cookies for them hot baked chocolate chip I get like bags of chips ice cream and I trade them for porn books right so I did a couple times I had a couple really good ones high quality stuff and then um and then I remember we were at school one day and uh we heard that he uh he shot his dad in the face

because his dad used to beat on him not funny but his dad hit on him and then he fucking shot him with a shotgun and then in the face

yeah in the face and then my buddy my buddy of mine who's one of those guys really he was like a reddit guy early on in middle school

he came to school one day and we were dress up day and he's like wearing like a regular outfit we go who are you he goes Jeremy Mink I think he got like Three days suspension for that

How long did he go away for I don't know That's bullshit You should do a fucking minute Of time Yeah I think Your dad's beating on you

I think his dad was a piece of shit From what I heard right Yeah Fuck that And so he's like I think it was like Five or six years It wasn't a crazy amount of time.

Still, man. But he got out. We got to get Kim Kardashian on the case. Get that guy. Dude, get Kim. I feel like if you shoot someone in the face, you got to do a little bit of time, even if they were fucking...

I got to see the circumstances. Yeah, yeah. I got to see how hard he was hit. There's some real bad pieces of shooting that deserve to be shot in the face. You got to think about, shooting's like a bad thing, right? But if you're going to hit someone

with a bat or something, what if you don't get them Right You're like a middle school kid You gotta go for the instant win Right You gotta goldenize that shit You shoot at that guy

Yeah the golden gun Yeah You shoot at your dad Who beats you And you just hit him In the arm or something You're fucked Right for the head kids

Children of the world If you're gonna shoot your dad Shoot him in the face Guys I'm Sam Morrell I endorse this everyone Children of the world, you're going to shoot your dad in the face. Guys. I'm Sam Morrell. I endorse this everyone. No, 100%. That was a wild – I don't know how it branched off.

The porn is funny, but then it gets a little weird. It all started from I live in Austin. Yeah. Okay? So, yeah, we branched it out. Yeah, that's why it's really hard to have a conversation because it just goes, but I do love Austin. I live on a golf course there.

Anybody talk shit about the scene, the scene's great. The clubs are great. I don't think there's a problem with the city at all. It's just the people. It's like anything else. The burger at Shake Shack is good. People sucking his dick and waiting on a three-hour line, ridiculous. So same thing with Austin.

I'm sure it's fun. But when you tell me that New York and Hong Kong and London and all that no longer matter. It's all about Austin. Yeah. Just stop it. That's the thing. When people talk about – my thing is with whether – I was going to move to Nashville. And then when Joe was moving there, I was like, Joe's going to bring a great scene with him. He just did.

And I was like, I was living in Vegas with my girlfriend and we got evicted and then she won the case so we had like a month extra and then I was like I'm just going to

fucking move to Austin because I was going to move to Nashville but I think Joe's going to bring in this great scene turned out he just brought Rocky

yeah and by the way he doesn't even know who I am yet and it pisses me off he keeps bringing up all these other comics I'm like

I love you Joe you convinced me to move here. Please love me. You know, let's do some creatine and call it a fucking day, dude. I'll blow you while you're doing TRT, dude. Be in the sauna with 300 degrees. Yeah, I'll do it, dude.

If you help me. So it's like, so I moved there because it's like, you know, everybody, a lot of people move there. A lot of comics move there to get on the spot. I guess I would like to. I really don't care. I just can't. Knowing, just being a fan of Rogan a little bit,

he's not going to put anybody on the show that follows him for that purpose. You know what I mean? You're going to live in Austin. You're living fine, but to be like, I'm going to... Rogan's going to love me because you've got to actually be good at what you do. That's the thing. When I see comics

coming and I'm like, bro, let's say you get on Rogan. Let's say you get on. He brings you up. You're a nice kid. If you have 15 minutes and you get on Rogan, what are you going to do?

You're going to go headline on the road with 15? So you need to be in a position. You know what's funny is the way you said it about Burt. I didn't do good on it. It is getting to the point where doing a podcast

can be like, you got to, it's like being on stage almost yeah you gotta nail this audition yeah basically is what it's become yeah but you can't think of it that way because that's when you do bad you gotta exactly out there why do you say i didn't do well so the thing with bird no i it's like the prop again what i just did i say like so much because i can't hear myself speak yeah so when i don't have headphones on i talk really fast it's something i can't stop doing.

I listen to Bert, and I have one part. When I get excited, things start rambling. And I was like, it's like this. And then I was like, motherfucker. And I listened to it. I was like, why did I do that? And so that was the issue with it. I still got a bunch of followers off of it, and Bert was really nice.

I mean, I'm my own worst critic, and I'm always thinking about things like that. And sometimes once you hear it, you want to kill yourself. There's a bunch of assholes who are really critical, and most people are just like, they're not even listening. They're on a commute. They hear you tell a funny joke, and you're good. You know what I mean? It's not as critical as you think it is. I know.

That's something I've learned over. I mean, you sucked on this podcast. I'm fucking done, dude. You're going to get zero out of this. Fuck this shit, dude. We're not even going to air this. The cameras aren't even on, dude. That'd be so funny. I'm like done You're gonna get zero out of this Fuck this shit We're not even gonna air this The cameras aren't even on dude That'd be so funny

I'm like the biggest fan I love the show And then they're just like Hey dude We're never gonna fucking air this They go They go Rocky put it in the can

I'm getting off Calling my agent Like dude I did kill it He goes Yeah buddy So we're gonna move On a different direction

Okay There's a comic That's in Austin right now He's got 10 good minutes We're gonna move on with him. Put him on Cedric the Entertainer's racist NBC show or CBS show. That show is racist, man. It's fucking racist.

It's racist. It's dumb. All those cocksuckers, they are the worst. That's the best thing about having success. The best thing is just being like, hey, your show fucking sucks. Your show sucks. Fuck NBC. Fuck Amazon. Fuck Epix. Fuck all. thing about having success the best thing is just being like hey your show fucking sucks your show sucks fuck nbc fuck amazon fuck epics fuck all you cracker jacks y'all are the worst like and that's i can say it what are you gonna do don't give me a tv show i don't like a tv show i'm worried about

the des moines funny bone baby okay i'm worried about the jacksonville comedy zone dude we're hitting that bitch on a thursday i'll get down with you like fuck nbc fuck epics amazon i'm trying to get that money bro you're my live girl i love you babe yeah they uh they cut me last minute yeah i know that's the I don't think He didn't do it He didn't make the decision To cut me I don't think so

I don't think Mays was making the choice He didn't He didn't do it himself But they cost me 60 grand Oof Alright well then I would say fuck them

And it was over one joke And it happened And it was 60 grand And they had already Cast me for the show So you had a role They would have paid you Then they cut you

Because you had a joke And comedy Rosebud was on the show A couple people, it was the show for JFL, which is, you know, the guy just got arrested for sexual assault,

so fuck you too, homie. I like this tour. This is the goddamn fuck you guys tour. People go, don't burn bridges. I'm like, smoke smells great. I love cigars.

Like, fuck the bridges. So we did this comedy festival, and they had this road to JFL or whatever. And they had cast me for the show. That was the first person they called because they had casted it in L.A. And then I'm waiting for the thing to come through. It was like $60,000. $60,000 plus travel, right?

And I was like, fuck yeah, dude, because I was broke at the time. So I'm getting a solid $30,000 after taxes and everything. And they just said, hey, man. Amazon wanted to go in a different direction. And I was like, do you know why? And they're like,'re like no we have no idea and i talked to someone else inside and they go it was that one joke about your grandfather what'd you say i'll just say i don't care but my uh my grandfather um he uh he's driving north port one time and he points to a house and he goes i used to fuck the lady that made the klu klux klan costumes over there and i go i go what i was, did you join the Klan?

He goes, nope. Highly recruited. Never joined. I was like, are you the LeBron James of racism? What does that even mean? And then I sat there for a second. My grandpa is racist, right? And he's like super racist.

And so I was like, as a grandpa, I don't mean to be a dick, dude, but like you're racist. Like, why didn't you join the Klan? That's like your professional league of racism. He goes, cause I'm not going to hop around in a sheet like a fucking f***. And that'll do it. That'll do it. Which I said,

I followed up with, that's the gayest reason not to join the Klan. You're like, I hate minorities and white after Labor Day is not happening. And that costs me $60,000.

It hurts, man. It's a good joke, though. So if you want to keep building your fan base and that type of humor, you've got to do it. It'd be funny, though, if you went, that's the end of the podcast. It's tough, though, man. I was just listening to Shane Gillis on Rogan, and it was like, there are just certain companies and things that you can't. It's not going to happen.

Shane was saying, I knew I was going to get fired. They were dancing around it. It's just like, yeah, when you drop a slur, NBC and these companies can't. Some barstool can. Somebody else can, but not. But it sucks to be down that road and think the money is coming. Especially when you're broke. That's the biggest thing.

That's the one thing now. I have some things in the works that are really cool. If they somehow didn't happen i don't have to be like on i don't have to worry about what i say anymore it's just like you can't you can't really fuck with me anymore like because i've realized what you realize is that 6 000 people on twitter the 6 000 that they bitch and complain and call you a racist and you're homophobic or whatever you are those people don't matter yeah those they really don. In the middle of America, I'm going towards the Waffle House crowd. That's my demographic, and they don't care what I say.

As long as whatever state I'm in, I don't shit on Davo Sweeney or whoever's the coach. I always said the only way Trump could lose voters in Alabama is if he said, fuck the Tide. That would be it. You don't have to preach to these people anymore, which is great. I would love to see that. If Trump had bashed Nick Saban and was watching, he's got to be in a pretzel. Oh, they're done.

Where do we go? They're done. What side? You know? They're done. I'm telling you, because you can't, man. My mom, when I was born, her legs overlooked the stadium at Brian Denny. And so I live 15 minutes from the stadium in Alabama.

And that's life, bro. Yeah. That's life. I mean, it's crazy to see. Like, there's that video that goes viral. I don't know. Maybe not anymore. But the last few years of, like, I think the first day of practice where the fans, like,

run onto the field. Oh, yeah. It's almost like Walmart at Black Friday. To get the signatures. Yeah. I mean, it's like grown men. I like the one where they get,beat dads by saying that you're gay. Yeah, they trick them, right?

Yeah, if you show up to this place, you won free Bama tickets. That's like you won child support. Just tons of deadbeat dads show up and get arrested immediately. Rocky's like, oh, that's what that is. I'm like, you can get my dad like that then, dude. That's what sucks. Me and my dad have the same name. It's legitimate legitimate by the way

Rocky Dale Davis Jr. is my name my full government name you never had a shot never you were gonna be it's like wouldn't it be funny

if you were like you didn't have an accent or whatever you were like a lawyer or something like that like Wharton Business School I have Dale Jr. in my

like Dale Jr. is in my name and my hair like grows into a mullet so like my hair naturally grows I had white trash teeth I had the worst teeth.

Don't say that. You get fucking... I know, dude. Oh my God, take me down. That's like, you can say it. I have a whole joke about it. You're allowed to. I have a whole joke.

I just started doing it now because I go, my dad, and this is a true story, my dad met his now wife visiting his daughter in prison for identity theft against his other daughter. The first time he met his now wife was visiting his daughter in prison.

I was like, I earned that word, bitch. That's my word. I used to fucking hang out with meth acts because when I was home from school, they would be the only ones around because they were on house arrest. We played basketball. We had a meth lab blow up two trailers down from me. Blew up one day, and we got excited because we stole their basketball goal and brought it to our house.

A nice Wilson leather one. Let's go. So two houses to the left. They were selling drugs out of this one. It was marijuana. Then you had meth, and then you had a pedophile right next door to us. And my mom didn't even know the guy was a pedophile. He watched him from time to time.

He told me about the first stinky finger. It was like the finger thing. I was like, he was a good dude. I wasn't a bad guy good dude. I mean, I wasn't a bad guy, dude. His massages were unbelievable. The hand strength. He had a great head, bud.

I was like, dude, blind bump. That's why I'm like, bro, I've earned this fucking word, son. This is my word. Your tour,

your special should just be called White Trash. Yeah, that's like, it should be, well, I want to name it Fuck Rocky Dale Davis because of my dad.

But he's the worst. He's the worst. But that's what's funny is. He's the worst. No, he's. You got to talk to Brandon Walker. Brandon Walker's dad is. Well, Brandon Walker looks a lot like my dad. I walked in.

I was like, I hate your podcast. Baseball sucks. You know? No, my dad is like a piece of shit. So here's what I had. I had a big go up with my dad., I was like, I hate your podcast. Baseball sucks. No, my dad is like a piece of shit. I had a big go up on my dad. So when I was 14, he kicked me out of the car at my aunt's house. He called me an N-word lover, and he said, I don't ever want to see you again.

So I was 14. So I see him at 17. The boy's been wrestling. I'm in the paper every day. I won like honor roll. I was doing a bunch of shit. I won like a scholarship. I won a bunch of stuff in wrestling.

It's like he kept all my articles. I hadn't seen him since I was 14. So now I I won like a scholarship Won a bunch of stuff In wrestling And so I kept All my art Because I didn't see him Since I was 14 So now I see him When I'm 17 That day he kicked you out You were like You were gone for real

Yeah gone Like I was like I'm done I'm done with you I'm done forever I was 14 And I hadn't hit puberty yet So then at 17

I about turned 18 I hit puberty I'm bigger And I saw him It's weird It's like a dude That you like You're 14

He's here And I'm 17 He's 5 foot fucking 8 And I'm sitting there And he's like It's like a dude That you like You're 14 He's here And I'm 17 He's 5 foot fucking 8 And I'm sitting there And he's like I kept all your articles And everything I just wanted to

You know I just love you And I'm looking I'm like Bro what's up dude What's good homie You want those fucking hands now dude What's up

You didn't like my Jordans Cause I worked that whole summer To buy those fucking Jordans And that's why you had a problem Oh man Cause I was on the basketball team That is some racism! Oh, dude.

Holy moly, that is some deep, dark racism. And I'm like, every time I see and I saw him again when I was 23 and now, like,

you know, your boy's been lifting and I was like, what's good? Like, he's like, hey, son, I just wanted to come talk to you. I'm like,

I ain't your son, homie. You ain't paid for 12 Christmases in a row, dog. Like, you missed all those gifts. Fuck you, son. That's the best grow up, though. I didn't your son, homie. You ain't paid for 12 Christmases in a row, dog. You missed all those gifts. Fuck you, son. That's the best grow up, though.

I didn't get a fucking Christmas gift. You think I'm your kid? Yeah. But we had the same name, so he tells people. Because now I'm doing real well and stuff. And it's like, he tells them, I'm like, God damn. I wanted to change my name. It's a good name.

I can't. But I wanted to change it for a while because I'm like, bro, you don't get to take credit for this shit. And then my mom, she just bought it. It does play, though. It does play. It does. Yeah. I used to be Rocky Davis. And Ralphie like, bro, you don't get to take credit for this shit, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then my mom, she just bought it. It does play though. It does play. It does. Yeah, because Ralph,

I used to be Rocky Davis and Ralph goes, dude, carry the deal. Carry the deal. Because everybody would call me Dale. And so, I carried the deal

and then like, Rocky Dale Davis, I'm just, fuck, that's a sick ass name. Yeah. Yeah, man. And everybody goes,

like the movie? I'm like, oh, yeah, yeah, it's the fucking movie. You ever heard that before? I've heard it every day in my life.

Every fucking time. Every day, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So did you beat him up or what? No, I wanted to, oh, yeah, yeah, it's the fucking movie. You ever heard that before? I've heard it every day. Every fucking time. Every day, you know? So did you beat him up or what? No, I wanted to, man. My mom told me not to. Did five, six years. I wanted to so bad, man. I was just sitting.

You ever get mad and you cry? Like, I was just crying. I was just like, fuck, I want to. My mom had told me, she's like, you represent me. You don't do that kind of stuff. That's a great line Yeah Yeah

You represent me Given that My mom whooped his ex-wife's ass At a blockbuster So Lynn was God these are great stories It's like

It's like Mad Libs It's like A certain name A certain trash A certain place You know Lynn's ass at blockbusters So

So Lynn They went for the last movie One last Bam People forget about that dude We used to know Rusty who owned the store at Blockbuster. So, so, so Lynn, they went for the last movie. People forget about that, dude. We, we used to know Rusty who owned the store

and we'd come in because they, they actually get the movies two days before you put them out on the shelf. And so we'd come in, I remember Too Fast,

Too Furious came out and I had to go in and grab it. When there's the whole wall, because a popular movie would get the whole wall, but it would just be like the little card

and the movie behind it or whatever. And it's like, you think they in stock, and it's not. They always got one. They always got one tucked back for him or something like that. Right, right. So my mom was at a blockbuster. So my mom and my dad started dating.

And Lynn, his ex-wife, who was I think a meth addict, could have been both. But she saw my mom. She thought my mom and my dad had been cheating before her and my Lynn got divorced. Or before her and my dad got divorced. Right. So white trash Tetris were playing. But she walked up to my mom. My mom has long curly hair and a blockbuster and grabbed her.

My mom, my mom fucking stout back in the day. Had abs, right? My mom grabs this bitch by her hair, fucking judo throws her over her shoulder and just fucking puts three on her real quick. Okay? So cops come, right? My mom grabs the bitch by her hair, fucking judo throws her over his shoulder, and just fucking puts three on her real quick, okay? So, cops come, right? And they look at the video, and they're like, she attacked, and they're just like, bro, you go, dude. You're straight, dude.

My mom was like a, my mom was a hitter, dude. My mom, I got in a fight one time in middle school, and a guy came up behind me, he hit me in the back with a belt, right? Just fucking laid me in the back with a belt. I used to get picked on a lot. I wasn't big then. So, I got picked on, and so I'm in the back, and he's like, behind me. He hit me in the back with a belt, right? Just fucking laid me in the back with a belt. I used to get picked on a lot. I wasn't big then. So I got picked on, and so I'm in the back, and he's like, call me a pussy.

He spit in my face, so I just fucking hot off and hit him, right? And they take me in the principal's office. I told my mom that I hit a smaller guy, and they didn't tell them the full story. They told them I hit a smaller guy, and I'm the one that came up to him and did it. I came home. My mom pulled the electric outlets out of my wall.

The only thing in my room was a bed. That's all I had in my entire room was just a bed laying on the floor. I shut my TV, everything in my fucking room. No clothes or anything. The electric wires were taken out, okay? And she goes, that's what you fucking get. You don't ever take on someone smaller than you and do that. And then heard the full story later by one of my friends that told her.

So then my mom goes back to school. By the way, real quick, taking away the kid's electricity, that's a punishment, man. Yeah, because I was spending it for, I think, for two weeks. I tell you, it was like a long time. No more electricity for you.

And she was fucking epic about it. She didn't let, they got McDonald's one night, I didn't get to eat. I think she got Henry's too, like our restaurant. She was like, eat a fucking heat up sandwich,

you bitch, you know. But then my mom figures out that the principal lied so she comes to the office and i'd be getting death threats at my house too from like one of his friends yeah so my mom comes in and she goes look she's like y'all lied to me and now my son's like getting threats at home and the principal goes what's he gonna do to sit at home with mommy all the time my mom stands up shoves the desk back on the principal and my sister was watching outside and the person goes oh mr miss tyler miss tyler and my mom was like fuck i'm gonna light her up mom light this bitch up they put me back in school that motherfucking day yeah hell yeah that's that's like that's my mom is like for real like that bitch is bad she we had a tree get hit by light in her backyard she cut the whole tree down like

she's like a bad bitch my mom is is probably just like a northeast version of this she was trying to chop down a tree with a chainsaw trying to cut a branch off yeah herself yeah and she was my dad comes home from work and she's on a fucking ladder with a chain and she's five foot nothing like a hundred pounds and she's trying to saw off this branch that was about to fall she didn't want it it to fall. And he's like, what are you doing? She's like, I got this. Like, shut the fuck up. She ends up, like, losing her grip. And it, like, it swung from the fucking tree.

Ooh, yeah. It was a running chainsaw that was just, like, sawing and like this. And she was like, okay, maybe you're right. It's like a carnival game. You're like, whoa. That's what I'm on. This tree was probably, like, you know, I on. This tree was probably like 100 foot up. I threw a rope around the side with a baseball on it.

I tied it to her. I'm holding her, climbing up the tree. This bitch has got a chainsaw chopping the fuck of the tree out. She's 55, dude. She's like the best woman ever. I love her to death. She's amazing. I love her.

She's awesome. She comes to my show. I did a show a couple weeks ago On Tuscaloosa I do this show And my whole family Comes to the show on Tuscaloosa Tuscaloosa my hometown

Has never showed me love But I have so many fans now That I've reached people In Tuscaloosa That somehow don't know me Because it's a bigger college town And so now I can reach Different people

So we sell 150 tickets In a 150 seat place Great right My family all comes, right? So I'm downstairs. The first guy's on stage. I'm smoking a cigar. I text him,

how was your set? And he goes, good, but the group in the back is talking a lot. And I'm like, who's talking? So I go upstairs. I walk in. Big group in the back

just fucking yammering. And I go, hey, shut the fuck up. My mom turns around. She's the one with all my family, all my white trash hillbilly meth heads

that I haven't seen in 10 fucking years that are all back there because Rocky's doing well now. He knows the rock, you know. And they're all back there bullshitting and, like, talking the entire time. I get on stage. They talk through my entire set. I tell them to shut up. Yes, my family. My mom sits three rows up and just drunkly yells the entire time.

And she's like, yeah. Then she goes, that story's not true. I never did that. she's like yeah that story's not true i never did that that's not true that's not true so i hate my whole fucking family right a lot of my seen in a while so like i don't even have a relation to you i'm outside after the show and then one of my friends from my hometown goes you know something different about your mom and she's my mom standing there like yeah these anything never really and i'm like no she goes look again my mom bought double d fake titties 56 years old

Cause I'm making A little bit of money now Right Passing along And so it looks weird You go mom Like get You know maybe

Like redo the bedroom Yeah Like get a It's like new car Yeah It's like It looks weird on me Cause I'm like

Everybody's like Rocky made it dude He gives it to my house Nah he bought her new nipples You know like it's like It's not fucking It's I'm like mom Why did you do it

You represent me I was gonna say You should have put that on her. Pull out her electricity next time. Mom, you, this is your,

that's what I told her. When I get famous, I'm going to fucking, I'm going to make her work because she's fucked me a lot, right? I'm going to make her work for a lot of this shit

because I, I've told this on my podcast but what I want to do to give her, because she always wanted a red Mercedes, right? So a red,

a red Cadillac, the nice car Cadillac. It drives like a beautiful. So what I want to do, I want to go home. I want to go home. I'm going to the store. And I want to drive away. About an hour later, I want the cops to call my mom because they know her.

And be like, Ann, we need you to come up on 216. It just already is not doing well. And then, hey, what, what? She's like, come up here. We need you to come down here. And so I want to have two ambulances parked, I guess, right here. And then I want to have a bag. And I'm in, like, the death bag, right?, come up here. We need you to come down here. And so I want to have two ambulances parked, I guess, right here. And then I want to have a bag. And I'm in, like, the death bag, right?

And then they go, we need you to identify them. And then I want them to open it. And I'm like, it's Cadillac keys, bitch, you know? And then have the ambulances pull off and have a Cadillac sitting right there. And be like, got you, bitch, you know? Zap. Gotcha. And then I'm going to record it.

And then when I record it, put it online so people know I'm a good person, right? Yeah, of course. And if it doesn't get a bunch of views, I'm going to record it. And when I record it, put it online so people know I'm a good person. Yeah, of course. And if it doesn't get a bunch of views, I'm going to take it back. You better cry for this Cadillac. You better share this on your Facebook page, Ma. Because if it doesn't get a million views,

I'm taking this shit home. I love it when she does that. She goes, I liked your TikTok today, so it should do good. I'm like, oh, thank you. That's going to do it. Yeah.

The only people you follow are me, Stephen Crowder, and Trump. So it'll be fucking great. Not even The Rock? Yeah. Come on, Ma. No, and Trump. So we're going to be fucking great. Not even The Rock? Come on, man. No, she said she wants to fuck him, which is really weird. She goes, if he ever wants to, I'm like, yeah, he's looking. I'm like, is that why you got those titties, though, dude?

Is that why you got those titties? They look great, though. If he ever wants it, I'm down. I think Dwayne's got a good idea. That's what everybody says. Do you think my mom's trying to get fucked now? Do you think she's trying to have sex because she got the titties or no?

Yeah, bro. You don't go get fake tits if you're not trying to get fucked. Dude, I don't like y'all anymore, man. I'm a foreplay pod guy, dude. This is bullshit.

This fucking sucks, dude. Let's fucking... You know what? We're going to go do answer the internet. I'm going to write my own card right now. Like, would you give

your mom money if you became famous if you knew she was going to get fake titties? My answer's going to be like, yeah, because they look great, dude. They really do.

Like, it sucks because I saw them. She's more confident now. It's like, look, like ladies out there, if you have small titties, fake titties, they do

like, your shirts just look better. I was going to say that. Like, I look nicer in dresses. Yeah, it's like, here I met one of those

guys. And now my boyfriend can titty fuck me, too. Dude, I'm fucking done with it. I hate this shit, bro. Where's fucking... Yeah, somebody put me on Zero Dark Thirty, dude.

I fucking hate this shit. This is not... It's not like what you see on the podcast, guys. They're a lot meaner in person. This is exactly what you see, bro. It's a lot meaner in person. All right, let's go next door with the Talton podcast, Instagram, all that shit. So, bro. It's a lot meaner in person. All right, let's go next door

with the Talton podcast, Instagram, all that shit. So, yeah, so my podcast is Welcome to Brookwood. It's me and my buddy, Tony Casillas. And everybody promotes podcasts. Go to episode three.

Episode three is our best episode. I talk about the Instagram stuff. I talk about a bunch of things. Episode three, Welcome to Brookwood, Spotify, YouTube, iTunes. Just go delete episode one and two. Yeah, I know.

They're okay. Episode three is where you laugh the entire time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so go check that out, Welcome to Brookwood, and then go follow me on Instagram at Rocky Dell Davis. And if you live in Austin, Jacksonville, Florida, or Huntsville, we're hitting those in the next couple weeks. So come out.

Let's go. Love it, guys. Dude. Let's go. Love it, guys. Dude. Thank you. Bye.