KFC Radio - We've Decided That The Bear Sucks - Full Episode
Episode Date: July 18, 2023Timecodes: 0:00 Start 10:04 Barstool Weekend Twitter Roundup 41:07 Monkey Boy is gonna win Oscars 43:15 Barbie x Oppenheimer x Out of Order 58:18 Dave Portnoy look-alike from live show ... 01:03:47 The best pair of t*ts we've ever seen 01:16:22 Adam 22 and Lena the Plug 01:24:08 Black and Blue / Gold and White dress guy attempted m*rder 01:25:34 Gang Gang Popcorn Live Stream Girls 01:34:51 Bobbi Althoff's interview with Drake 01:42:43 MMA chick who flashed her t*ts 01:46:09 The Hobby Horse championship 01:50:09 Barstool DVR 02:24:29 Video Voicemails +++++++++++++++++++++++ Gametime: Download the Gametime app or go to https://gametime.co, enter your email, and redeem code KFC for $20 off your first purchase (terms apply). Pirate Water: Go to drink piratewater.com to find pirate water in a location near you or order on gopuff HelloFresh: Go to https://HelloFresh.com/kfc50 and and use code plan50 for 50% off plus free shipping!You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hey KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
Yo, alright, bro.
My entire political world just got flipped over.
It's another edition of KFC Radio on the Barstool Sports Network.
I...
I got bad news for everybody today.
Oh.
I'm in a great mood.
Well, let's see if we can take that down.
When I'm in a great mood, it's bad news for everybody.
When I'm in a bad mood, I'm quiet, and I just kind of go about my mood.
Yeah, when you're in a good mood, you don't shut the fuck up.
When I'm in a good mood, it's...
This could be a four-hour episode, Jackie.
Set your alarms!
Well, I mean, I don't think this will tear you down.
It should.
It would tear down a normal human, but it won't tear you down.
But you're just about the dumbest motherfucker I've ever met in my life.
Why?
Oh.
Oreo 55 strikes again.
First of all.
I feel like for the most part.
I think I can explain myself well here.
Oh.
I mean, you're going to say that you thought it was defensive back, which is not like totally retarded.
But it's pretty fucking stupid in the grand scheme of things.
Well, here's the deal.
First of all, if you look at the time on that, it's 12 minutes.
That's pretty good for the fucking New York Times crossword puzzle.
Oreo 55 is John's crossword puzzle alias.
13 minutes.
And he has been trying to become a crossword puzzle guy because of the daily mini.
This isn't the mini.
This is a crossword.
12 minutes on a full crossword.
Not so bad.
That's the full?
Yeah.
No, it's small.
That's the full?
At night, I'll go back and do archives.
So it's a Monday full.
So that's towards the easier scale they were like bigger that's uh i think they get bigger it's
like sunday's a little tighter but like monday's is an easier one um but that's a full well oreo
55 is john he's known for doing like five minute minis when other people do it in like five seconds.
And he had, I guess he had one word left with only one letter missing,
and it was Arizona athlete for short.
And he had D, B, A, blank, and K.
Now, to be clear, when I tweeted this, I knew it was D-back.
I knew it was grosser across.
But you knew it because of the other word.
Yes. So, like, the C, the missing C, he knew because the across word, the puzzle, the clue was food purveyor is a grosser.
So he never figured out that Arizona athlete for sure is D-back. Not only did he not figure it out, he decided
enough people
in the world and involved in the crossword
community, enough people will be just as
confused as I am to tweet this out
incredulously
and to pose to the general
public, what could I
possibly be missing here?
When
I don't...
Mind you, I didn't shoot from the hip.
I stared at the thing before hitting send.
I was like, how is this going to make me look dumb?
I went through
everything possible.
And people say you work for a sports.
Oh, suck my cunt.
But, okay, listen.
I was going to say, we are not by any means sports experts.
You know, just watch our dozen challenges or dozen matches where it's like we answer all of the, like, girl questions and we call all of the men on the sports questions.
However, that being said.
Bro, pretending to be a sports guy, I stopped doing that five years ago.
Facts understood with you there.
I like sports.
Pretending to be the all-time sports guy, I stopped doing that.
Pretending that knowing D-backs is a sports guy level thing is fucking insane.
Okay, so now let me explain myself
a little bit. Because sometimes your brain
gets in something where like, it's just
a dozen brain waves.
Actually, when I do the dozen,
I have a problem with that, where it's like an answer box
in my head and I can't stop thinking about that.
So the first word I got in this kind of
area was eyed
across.
Therefore, my first letter in D-backs was D.
But Arizona athlete for short, my brain first went devil, Sun Devils.
So I was thinking college.
This guy is so not a sports guy.
He doesn't know Diamondbacks, but he knows that the fucking ASU mascot is the devil, the Sun Devils. So I was thinking.
If you know the Arizona State mascot is the Sun Devils,
then you know the Arizona Dynamics.
I obviously know them.
I swear to God, the fucking Venn diagram of those two things
are completely one circle.
So I was just thinking college sports, college sports, college sports,
because I was thinking college sports, college sports, college sports.
I was in football mode.
So then I went to D-back, and I was like,
I just can't think of anything else.
And not for nothing.
You guys are National League guys, so I guess you think about it a little more.
No one gives a fuck.
The Arizona Diamondbacks are known for one thing and one thing only,
not giving New Yorkers any joy in 2001.
That's it.
Dude, like no one.
The Arizona Diamondbacks have that, and Randy Johnson hit a seagull with a fastball.
What the fuck else have the Arizona Diamondbacks done that I should know their name?
Dude, the D-backs.
This guy was sitting here thinking Sun Devils and defensive backs.
I think I would have gotten that.
Yeah.
That's how bad that is.
But again, it's not even about not getting it.
It's the tweet.
Like people – did you expect an answer or did you expect people being like yeah
what the fuck is that i was it's funny when i tweet questions i'm not even gonna look at the
mention yeah yeah you can't even look at answers yeah i'm not gonna look i don't fucking care
i'm just i'm just like it's just like i'm laying in bed i got no one else to talk to
i scrolled your replies i'm back on twitter by the way i scrolled your replies. I'm back on Twitter, by the way.
I scrolled your replies to see if I missed something about the tweet.
I was like, oh, this is like, I don't know, from a show or like this is a meme, a reference.
And people just being like, this can't be real.
This can't be real, right?
Bro, I mean, I'm not going to defend it.
Once I saw Diamondbacks, I was like, oh, yeah, you idiot.
But the way your brain works when you're doing that kind of stuff,
I was stuck in this circle.
It's the way your brain works when you're a dumb person.
That's it.
Smart people's brains can change and pivot.
I even got to – once I got in college mode,
I couldn't get out of football, because then
I got DB, and I was like, alright, it's
D-back, and I was
thinking, I was like, how is that, like, Arizona
Cardinals, Coyotes,
like, what the fuck is a D-back?
Did you ever say Diamondback in your
head? Never. Not until I
saw it. That's crazy.
You ran through the Sun Devils
and defensive backs, but one of the major sports. I couldn't think of the football team's name. I was like. That's crazy. You ran through the Sun Devils and defensive backs, but one of the major sports.
I couldn't think of the football team's name.
I was like, what's the football team?
It's not a snake.
I was like, Yotes.
I couldn't get it.
I have no defense.
I will tell you why there's somewhat of a defense.
I just did this with the Mets podcast.
We did the Mets suck, so we did the the uh the mets suck so we
do the immaculate grid every episode just to kill time because there's nothing to fucking talk about
and i was just like i these things are no longer in my brain yeah name a person who played for the
the rangers and the nationals i have no fucking clue no i i see people tweet obviously the
immaculate grid a lot. I have.
Name somebody who plays for the Dodgers and the Nationals.
Like a very obvious, like recent answer, Trey Turner.
Not even close to being in my brain.
Not even close to being in my brain.
And I really, I think part of, you know, the tale of Barstool is the timing of it all.
When you start blogging and doing this shit when you're in your 20s,
you know all this. You either gamble or play fantasy sports or just watch and consume every sport.
You know the names.
You know the prospects.
You watch the drafts.
You just know it all.
And then you get older and stuff just falls out of your brain new stuff comes in
new responsibilities new worries you get depressed you have anxiety and you forget about who played
for the fucking texas rangers for 50 years i i used to do it with like my friend's dad
in high school we're like he we would just like just list batting averages. It's just gone.
That's not what I do anymore.
And the worst thing is, gun to my head, that doesn't change anything.
Like if there was a dozen question, I remember that was just like,
these two National League teams, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
And I was like, fuck, okay, how can I go about this?
And I was like, all right, I know who's in the East. I know who's in the Central. i know who's in the central i know who's in the west let me i know who's in each division let
me go through and i had like a logical way to find the answer if the question is just like
something to do with players on the texas rangers my brain just like sees their logo and that's it
you know like it just i can't even begin to start to check in the files in my brain to find players
it's just like nothing
you don't know that's really what my brain's saying you don't know you don't know you don't
know you don't know this you don't know you're not gonna get this you're not gonna get this
just say you don't know just just check out just give up you know you know it's just like my brain
won't even try to think of the answer yeah let's tap out bitch you're fucking dumb but i but but But I – but Oreo 55, not knowing D-backs.
Honestly, aside from that, which I got it.
I got it.
But you didn't.
You got Grozer.
You didn't get it.
You got Grozer.
That's how you get so crossword.
I finished the crossword.
You finished the crossword puzzle.
You did not get that answer.
Let's call it 1250.
I finished it.
That's a good time for a full crossword.
That I don't know.
Maybe true.
Maybe not.
I'm not Oreo 56. I don't know. Clemmer's
tweet though. I'm
sending this to the crossword crew.
The crossword crew is very funny.
Okay, actually we're going to do something new real
quick. We're going to start something called
the Barstool
Weekend
Twitter Roundup.
Flows right off the top.
Because every week now there's just enough
people and enough stuff
that happens from like Friday
through Monday that's either
important or you know
controversial or just
flat out stupid and you want to
gossip about it and make fun of the dumb people you work
with. So we are going to do a little
roundup for all of the things that happen on Twitter
in the Barstool world that weekend.
And we have to begin with the Fasoli text.
This text.
This text was not sent, correct?
Because if you look at the bottom text, it's kind of like,
that's what I want to say, right?
Which almost makes it worse in my mind.
Oh, I didn't catch that part.
Open up Fasoli's answer and look at the bottom.
That's what I want to say.
Dad, she's all over LinkedIn.
I think he sent this to his dad and said, like, should I send this?
Which makes it maybe even worse to me.
Right?
That's what I want to say is the next text, and then dad she's all over LinkedIn I don't know
if it's only well enough this is all I know about Fasoli that's it that's just a Viva tattoo yes
yes he's like don't say it he's all he's all there he said it he said it right because like
i'll be honest when i read this tweet i almost didn't read the second screenshot of this because
i read the first one and i was like ah it's kind of lame like i didn't think it was a good prank
i thought like it's too over the top i thought you gave it away i thought i thought you fucking
gave it away right so wait so go back in case people are listening.
I suggest you go over to the YouTube and subscribe and watch it.
But so somebody pranked Fasoli, who is a cameraman here, stool scenes and everything else.
Can you go back to the other?
And he is a true diehard stoolie who ended up getting a job here.
He has a Viva tattoo on his thigh.
Very prominent.
Works hard.
Loves the company.
Loves everybody here.
But smiles when he's not finding it.
His eyes closed.
And is always just kind of like, you know, getting bullied.
We're just bullying him.
And somebody – was it Donnie or just someone else?
Like Donnie –
I think Donnie had his friend do it.
Okay.
So Donnie's friend – that's a little weird too to be like, buddy, I need you for a minute.
We're going to fuck with this cameraman I work with.
So they texted him and said, hey, Nick.
That's Nick Fasoli.
This is blah, blah, blah with the Cape Cod's Times.
We're doing a piece on the downfall of hometown heroes.
Spelled wrong.
We already, I mean, already off the bat.
It's like, what?
Yeah.
We wanted to see if we could interview you for the article.
Like, right away, in his brain, he's got to be going,
I'm a hero, and I had a downfall.
The downfall is the craziest part.
In some backwards world, maybe you're from the smallest town in the world and maybe this is like something heroic.
By the way, Bournemouth, I mean it's a small –
Yeah, Cape Cod.
It's a Cape Cod town.
I feel like there's probably like billionaires who live in Cape Cod.
I don't...
I wouldn't think of...
I'm getting ahead of myself here because then Fasoli has like a thing.
And maybe he knows Bourne better than I do.
But more important than that is like going through your brain being like,
what was my downfall?
You know what I mean?
Like there's no fucking...
Head back to the...
Yeah, Taylor Swift's on the Cape all the time. The Kennedys. There's some other people on's no fucking head back to the tail yeah taylor swift's
on the cape all the time the kennedys you know there's there's some other people from the cape
go back to the uh text so uh we were thinking of starting with your thriving career at a valet
at the famed lobster trap and run through the events that led to you being a failed drone pilot
i don't even quite know what that means i'm sure he's trying to do some drone filming.
Did he crash one one day?
He was the drone king.
Right, but did something ever go wrong?
Okay, so this is just like, we're just fucking around.
If you're still local, we can meet at the Lobster Trap
to get some shots of you out front.
Please let us know your availability.
Thanks, blah, blah, blah.
Now, that's an F-minus prank.
Yeah, like it's too...
If you have a functioning brain,
that's so obviously not real.
I would post that on Twitter and say, like, look at this.
Somebody's trying to prank me.
If I was Donnie, I'd be mad at my friend.
Like, how do you fuck this up so bad?
Yeah, you laid it on way too thick.
Hometown heroes.
Spelled wrong.
Thriving.
Cape Cod's Times, not what it's called.
Right. strong thriving kate codd's times not what it's called right but but also just like thriving
career at the famed lobster trap is over the top over the top and then failed drone pilot like
again you know if it was hank or something and he sliced his finger off if there's a reason i don't
know but it all just sounds so over the top and then we get this screenshot this this this this
other text now i i guess this is what
i can't figure out i i don't think it was sent because yeah so if you look at the top it says
ignore oh and i think wait that means i think festoli oh yeah sent it to his dad and his dad
said son just i think you should ignore this and he he ran by, he ran his, what he wanted to say, by his father.
And this was Fasoli's response.
I don't know who you are, but this is an incredibly rude text to send to someone.
I worked at the Lobster Trap for six years as a valet and made it out of Bourne, Massachusetts to go live in New York City.
And I currently work at the biggest media company in the United States.
Not true.
I didn't pick up that one until right now i must have glossed over that until right now
not even remotely close there are literal empires light years ahead of us oh does vasoli work at
disney i was gonna say disneyPN, ABC, ever heard of them?
I am no, quote, failed drone pilot.
My work is displayed throughout hundreds of videos on a major network that has more followers than the Cape Cod Times does.
You sent me this message and I was droning in Alaska while you're sitting there cold calling and making outlandish takes. I don't know where you're getting your information from,
but you can take my name off any list you have
for this so-called quote-unquote peace
because I have made more of my life
than anyone my age ever did from that town.
What the fuck is wrong with this kid?
In Facilli's defense, he's like spoken publicly
about his head injuries playing football.
Bro, you could have told me that before I said anything.
John said, is he all there?
Nobody spoke up and said the guy is brain damaged.
I could have used that too.
Bro, we were locked in eyes.
Where was an eye being like, eh?
Well, that changes things. From public public spoken publicly where what forum was he on so you've been fucking
presentations at concussion protocol what are you talking about also publicly told me but like the
fact that i know about yeah yeah that that means it might if he just randomly knows it without
having have hanging had a conversation it must must be. You never know him.
Also, I would go as far to say, unless you had a career, you had to stop playing high school football, career-ending injury from a hit, anybody who played football.
We give this kid planes federal airspace
fucking airborne vehicles yeah i couldn't play fucking game god football anymore
but it'll be up a plane i got it
part of me thinks it's even funnier that he's running it by his dad and being like
dad she's all over linkedin
yeah so like he runs it by his dad being like what should i say like here's what i want to say you
anytime i do this i fucking send what i write you know what i mean yeah here's what i want to say you anytime i do this i fucking send whatever i you know what i
mean yeah like here's what i want to send john if i type that all out and you said no i wouldn't do
that i'd say well never mind yeah i shouldn't have asked you right uh now the fact that it's
a picture of you know he must have never sent it yeah because you would have the screenshot of the
text but um he said to his dad at least but yeah yeah the fact that this ever just
came through his his brain is just so funny it's it's insane and again like the way maybe i don't
know born massey i mean but i i know born i used to play hockey there a little bit i don't know the city or the town incredibly well but i never had
the idea of born i drive through when i go to the falmouth to get the ferry to the vineyard
i never had the idea that it was like this bad town where he's like i made it out like right
yeah yeah yeah like uh the to me the they actually, I'll say this about Bournemouth,
Gallo Ice Rink, which is the arena there, right by the bridge,
they used to have clear benches in hockey.
So, like, just the boards on the bench were clear.
I don't understand the reasoning behind it, but it was pretty cool.
Shout out to Kevin Euclid.
Euc's from Bourne? No? No, he played on the Born.
Oh, okay. Well, shout out to Sammy
Adams, Matty Trump,
Lazy Boy,
Mike Studd.
Mike Studd?
You're barely getting bronze
so far.
Two of the greatest rappers of all time
came out of Born, Massachusetts, bro.
Bobby Orr?
Bobby Orr? No.
Bobby Orr from Montreal.
Well, it says Bobby Orr.
He might have lived there, but Bobby Orr's Canadian.
Uh, the...
Um...
Yeah, maybe he must have just been...
You can't just live there.
You gotta be, like, from there. Yeah, I was gonna say, like... I'll't just live there. You've got to be from there.
Yeah, I was going to say...
I'll tell you what.
After that, pretty slim pickings.
After Sammy Adams...
Is Shaughnessy from...
Oh, yeah.
No, these are just...
They must have just lived there for a little bit, I guess.
That Wikipedia's hurting.
All right, Fizzoli, maybe you are one.
Let's see if Sammy Adams is actually from there.
No, Cambridge.
I don't know... So, wait, go back to that list. Maybe you are one. Let's see if Sammy Adams is actually from there. No, Cambridge.
I don't know.
So, wait.
Go back to that list.
Are you sure you were at Bourne, Massachusetts?
Yeah.
It says notable people.
Bourne, Massachusetts.
Very weird.
That's why you can't trust Wikipedia.
There's a whole list of people saying you're born there and you're just not from there.
All right.
So, I don't know. Nick Pistoli is the most famous person ever born in Massachusetts.
I just – there's so many stop points.
Like the word hero, downfall.
Why would anyone ever be texting?
Like even if you were like one of those, don't think they just say like hey man we're
writing a fucking piece about people's lives that fell apart you want to be in on it you know
that's not how those things work yeah so yeah i'm gonna do a glowing article on you that's how they
fucking ask right and then it's like hey you fat piece of shit look at it you want to be in the
paper so i mean i'm trying to think, if you got a text that was like,
hey, John, I'm from, like, the Fall River Times.
We're doing an article.
Herald News.
I'm from the Fall River Herald News.
I'm doing an article on people who, like, have made it in the media world from our town, you would do it, right?
I've done it.
Yeah, right.
I've done things like this before.
So what would it have to be?
Obviously, this is a red flag.
I've done it with a guy who, when I was a kid, I would read his sports articles.
It was funny.
Yeah.
And, like, I, like –
That's probably, like, a moment – you almost feel like you made it on that moment.
Yeah, 100%.
Like, the first time I got to, like, not just call into WFAN, but I was, like, on the show, and they gave me, like, the thing on the screen.
I was like, this is it, man.
I made it.
Yeah.
That's all you need.
That Viva tattoo is so thick and dark.
That Viva tattoo, fuck, land on the plug.
It's so thick and dark.
That thing is doozy, man.
If it said, like, you know, we want to cover your, like, rise to fame and, like, your subsequent, like, embarrassment. You you know i don't know i just be like
what at the very least i'd be like no or just like i ignore it but it's very funny to to get
all riled up the least of which being like i don't know what if they like publish this if you really
thought it was real you know what i mean now you're just like giving this writer ammo i don't
know what the whole thing like none of it makes sense that the response to get duped by this is just
absolutely it's crazy i i would be i would if my friend showed me that like you fucking idiot you
fuck the duck like he's not gonna believe this i don't know he had high school football injuries
you got lucky all right you got lucky Alright you got lucky I can't tell if this is a roast
This is TJ's dad
What is this?
Funny to see KFC and Fights
Making fun of the office makeover
After their self-directed
And self-admitted disaster
Of a studio makeover
Well said in the second half
By Fights
Same is true in their studio
You guys make great content
In that dated wood panel disaster
Did TJ's dad like make the new office
are we like trashing on tj's dad's work i have no clue i didn't read this as a roast or a compliment
but somebody came up to me and said did you see uh tim hitching or tj's dad roasting you guys
i don't know i feel like that's kind of a roast yeah i mean it's not i guess what teenage dad the same people design the office design the studio it's not it's not some you know it's not some crazy coincidence we didn't design this
i i i i would say uh we designed we had we had yeah we came up with the idea we didn't wait
to execute yeah i mean both of them suck and both of them yeah like you can make good content in a shitty room yeah it doesn't make it not a shitty room
right you can make better content in a better room probably you could have a you know i don't
i honestly don't even know if i agree with that that's why i think we said i said last time
with the part that mr hitchings liked is you just like i don't like do what you do in it is what
makes it cool right it's if you try too hard it fucking doesn't look lame if you don't know. What you do in it is what makes it cool. If you try too hard, it doesn't look lame.
If you just do what you did, it looks lame.
I will say with the new office, no denying that whether the couches are ugly, they don't make sense, the outlets, all that shit,
the amount of banter and talking and interaction and stool scenes like i think it's
up like a billion percent yeah like the stool scenes guys are like i have so much more to work
with that's good and and i and i don't even but it's funny it's not because i don't wait sorry
well let's go equal or son never mind i got because i have one tweet i don't think it's about
it's not about how the office looks i don't think it would be better if we like nailed it.
I don't think it's any worse because we didn't.
I think it's just that like,
there is like something,
I don't know.
Like something just changed in my head where there was just a date on the
calendar where I was like,
I'm not going to go out there more.
Yeah.
And maybe at the time it was because I,
I never went out there and I was like,
boy,
I would hang out here if I had a couch to sit on.
But it was just like, I don't know, there's all these desks,
and everyone's working, and I'm just not.
Yeah, I'll say that.
We just agreed upon that it's more of a social thing now.
Now I go out there.
If we had made that same agreement somehow without redesigning it,
I probably would just be out there more often anyway.
So it's more about just the mindset and doing it.'s also why like when we were trying to design it we had different you know
schools of thoughts about what you should put in there and people were like we don't even use the
bar we're not going to use these things you have to do it so whether there's a nice couch or an
ugly couch you have to go out there and talk to people and poke the bear and fuck with people and
play pranks and that's how you get the content, uh,
whether it's cool or not,
you know? So I,
I mean,
those guys I think are loving it.
If I heard Liam was like,
you know,
um,
but again,
I don't think it's necessarily because of TJ's dad designing it.
Uh,
so yeah.
So we had the,
uh,
for solely tweet.
It was a big weekend there where there's also,
this isn't the one that's my favorite of the
weekend uh but the um jersey jerry just getting a ride home from pittsburgh what you didn't see
that no i think it was thursday night i just i returned to twitter like yesterday so i don't
quite know everything dude jersey jerry that's just a random dude? Jersey Jerry and Nick Turani played in some celebrity softball game in Pittsburgh.
Turani did?
Yeah.
Cool.
Oh, Philip Turani's running that fucking – I texted him.
I was like, why do you run like that?
He runs like an anime character.
It's unbelievable.
Does he do –
But not so much so that it's like he's playing a joke.
It looks cool, like he's doing a thing.
It's like that's just what Nick runs like, which isn't shocking.
I don't think. I was going to say, did you think that Nick was going to be like a gazelle out there?
No, I think Nick's more athletic than people would think he is because he's kind of – this is looking worse and worse for Nick.
But you know what I mean?
Yeah.
I remember Nick being like, why the fuck does everyone think I'm not athletic at all when he was doing Barstool vs. America and winning stuff?
Got it.
But again, in his defense, he does not
exactly put out the vibe.
Yeah, I don't think he tries
to get people to think he's athletic, but I think he's
more athletic than you think. However,
this video
does not bode well for him.
I would check the
Yak.
It might be there, too.
Whatever. The point is that
fucking
Jersey Jerry's flight got cancelled.
Which is, you know, because the aliens are here,
by the way. Every flight's still getting
cancelled for like a month and a half now.
Is this Nick? Yeah.
Is that a bad swing?
Oh my god, dude! He has the... Yeah. That's not a bad swing. Oh, my God, dude.
He has the...
Yeah.
He has that going on.
It looks like he's trying to walk and chew gum at the same time.
Like, he read a book on how to run right before it.
Yeah.
It's a good hit, though.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, it's not a bad video.
It's fine.
It's a goofy run.
I don't even know if it's goofy.
It's an unorthodox run.
Like a video game.
Yeah.
Yeah.
A video game ninja running. That one where you did, like, PQ or whatever it is yeah what is it quap quap like it's just like
yeah moving everything individually yeah it is a little locomotive yeah um but jerry so oh maybe
it was saturday night whatever fucking night it was. Jerry had his flights canceled and then got a ride home from some guy in Pittsburgh.
It's an 11-hour round trip.
It's a lot longer than I thought it was.
It's like six hours each way or something like that.
Wait.
He got a ride to and back?
No.
So the guy – they're in Pittsburgh.
Yeah.
The guy drove him to Pittsburgh, to Jersey, and then drove back to get to work in the morning oh yeah because he had to return and and i he was not going he didn't hitch a ride
with someone going to jersey no the guy dropped him off a jersey turned around drove back to
pittsburgh it and bro it is come on i i and jerry made a video where he was like, this guy is nuts. And he's like, I guess the guy at the cookout worked all day.
And Jerry said he sweat so much he had to change clothes three times, grilled for the whole cookout all day.
And then drove Jerry home and then drove back to get back to work next morning.
I'd be like, dude, no.
I don't know what Jerry had to come home for, but i'd be like well no there's so many reasons i would say no the top two being one i i would feel uncomfortable
making someone do that no no number one is i don't want to because i that i feel in these
entertainment okay yeah i have three i have three number one being i just don't want to be around
yeah and then like tied for second being i wouldn't want to put anybody out like that
and feel like i have like I owe them or whatever.
Actually, that's probably one.
Two is that I'd feel in debt to you.
Like the whole ride.
I can't sleep.
I got to talk to you.
And then my second, third, whatever, maybe potentially first, anybody who will do this will just like fucking drive you off a bridge.
They're a crazy person.
They're a fucking crazy person.
That is insane.
See, that one, that doesn't – I would be fine in the car with a crazy person.
Wait, one more thing. This guy... So Jerry had to go
to a cookout? That's why he was in Pittsburgh?
No, he did the... I guess there was a cookout
before the celebrity game.
Okay. This guy,
was he involved in the same things as Jerry,
or was he just a fan in town? I got that vibe from
the video. I got the vibe from
Jerry's video. I have no idea. I didn't do all that much
research. I got the vibe from Jerryerry's video i have no idea and do all that much research i got the
vibe from jerry's video that this guy was doing kind of providing the food for the celebrity game
okay so he's at least like it's not just like i could absolutely be wrong i live in pittsburgh
i saw your tweets like let's go yes he's at least like somewhat like they had some kind of
interactions before that it wasn't like that doesn't really make it any better but i at least
at least it's better than like i'm just like from pittsburgh and like i'll do anything
because you're in town i cannot believe this i um jerry's in that weird spot where he's like a
folk hero you know what i mean he's like such funny guy. And he plays with like the big dogs.
And he'll like shit his pants.
But, you know, I don't know.
It's just like wacky Jerry shit that people just like want to be a part of that.
But that's crazy.
There's a 0% chance.
You know what's funny?
0% chance I take this ride.
I honestly am not – it's not because of fear of physical stuff.
It's fear of the conversations I have to have in my car.
I have a better chance of giving this ride than I do receiving it, right?
By a billion percent.
Right.
By a billion percent.
Because I'm a pussy and like a pushover, I want to please people, people pleaser.
I could see myself getting talked into like, all right, I'll drive you there.
Just ask.
Yeah, just ask.
If I'm sober, just ask.
I'll drive you wherever the fuck you want to go.
But I'm not.
I'm not.
Nah.
Nah, I'm not doing that.
Yeah.
Well, you think that guy like halfway through his return trip was like, why the fuck did
I do this?
Bro.
Or do you think the whole time he was like, that's cool.
And then he had to go to work.
He came home, left work to drive.
I think it's like 11 hours around him or anything.
Any tweets from him or anything?
Any like follow up?
He was like live tweeting it.
I don't know about live tweeting it, but.
The guy.
Yeah.
Jerry tagged him.
I forget his name.
He gave him a T, I think.
I'm trying to think through this
i think that there's actually like jerry has i'm home appreciate my followers how many did you get
how many fucking people how many people are following this fucking he drove jerry home
this is a little bit old school barstool although i don't think anyone has a story like this
i say old school in the sense that like there a time where people would drop everything for someone at Barstool.
Yeah.
I still get it to an extent.
I'm very grateful for last year at Keegan's birthday party.
Some guy was like, I own a table company.
I'll give you tables.
And I needed to fix the air conditioner.
This guy, Ryan, who owns Wesco Air Conditioning, was like, I got you.
Things like that where they just show up.
Speaking of that, no update on the
Chi trucks.
I don't know.
Maybe people are helping me.
You probably have a Chi truck company
who wants to give you a fucking truck.
I think Nick monitors
our mentions. I think he would have sent it to me if he did.
I'm going to keep requesting it
with no ability to access me
this is tweet me nick will see it let's see uh no handout boss jerry paid me for my time
but i didn't do it because he's jersey jerry jerry's one of the nicest guys out there
at our miami tailgate he asked me every like 15 minutes if I needed help stand up guy
all that's true
good yeah
if Jerry's the nicest guy ever and I very much like
Jerry he just said absolutely
fucking not I'm not taking this ride
yeah
and also I do want
to give the caveat maybe Jerry
had something to get home for that he had to be
super important
this is some home alone shit and you know he's I want to give the caveat. Maybe Jerry had something to get home for that he had to be. I don't know. Super important. I don't know. Yeah.
Yeah.
This is some home alone shit.
And, you know, he's he's Gus Polinsky and he's driving the mom home.
Like, OK, whatever.
But this just seems like, I don't know, wait like another hour for your new flight or take a car, rent a car, take a train.
It's a lot of ways to get from Pittsburgh.
I've had some flights canceled recently.
It's pretty simple.
You just hang out in the airport until your rich friend gets a private jet.
I don't know if I said it.
Who doesn't do that?
It's so easy.
My buddy coming home from Canada walked across the border.
Did I say that?
I don't know if I said it on the podcast.
I don't know how he did it but we all
got out two of my friends didn't one had to like hitch hitch a ride across the border uh and one
just sent a video of him fucking walking along the side of the road what's the process like i've only
seen the borders crossed on foot through movies like sicario Mexico. I don't even...
Sicario is exactly what I was picturing.
I don't know what happened, but he was just like,
I'm walking across the border.
Holy shit.
I think that Jersey Jerry
has a better chance of getting a ride
like he did than
real celebrities.
You know what I mean? Yeah, because you wouldn't ask.
You wouldn't ask. People wouldn't think.
Also, people would be like, fuck you.
You can go get a private jet or whatever.
Jerry's in the sweet spot of
beloved, big enough that
he's known and people kind of feel cool about it, but
small enough that people will still be like, I'll help that guy.
There's a better chance
if Leonardo DiCaprio
was like, I need a ride somewhere, he probably doesn't get a ride
from Pittsburgh.
George Jerry would, though.
What a fucking wacky world, man.
That is... Imagine Jerry shit his pants in your car or something wild.
He's not exactly known to be the best traveler,
world traveler out there.
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You were hot and bothered on Twitter this weekend in general.
You were fired up about that one reply to me about Covenant.
Oh, God.
That one sent you into a spiral, too.vin sent it to me about the covenant and i accidentally
opened it and like i just saw like the top reply or the first reply or whatever well i i talked
about the budget i said the budget was 55 million the movie only made 20 million it's i was saying
it's a very it's a good movie i think it's one of the biggest like uh economic flops ever and and reply this has happened to me occasionally where i'll accidentally
just like my thumb will hit a tweet and it'll open and i'll see a reply that one since i've
given up replies and this is this was one of like the first replies because i saw like the second
kevin tweeted it so this was one of like the first replies can you open it so i can read it so much of those budgets are salaries and marketing imagine if it was just no name actors
doing a good job would be profitable oh yeah you fucking moron imagine if movies just didn't have
movie stars they'd be so good and make so much money you god damn every time every time this
happens where i accidentally open a tweet and see, I get...
You goddamn idiot.
I'm so mad.
You goddamn idiot.
It's almost like a nice look in the mirror, like what I was like when I was reading these things.
Yeah, yeah.
Where I'm like, oh, it so clearly changes my mood.
When I'm just spending my day doing this all the time...
Doomscrolling is the realest shit in the world.
I was furious.
Imagine if they just had no-name actors doing movies.
Wouldn't make money. Oh, yeah.
They'd make fucking boatloads of movies.
One of the oldest professions in the world.
That is
sports radio callers right there.
Why don't they just call up the kid and he'll
hit 50 home runs.
The good players, you need
the good players to play good and they need money.
You know the best teams in history had no all-stars.
This is the stupidest thing I've ever fucking heard.
Yeah, that, that, that's, that's the, uh, that's the barstool.
That's like what they want me, uh, what I want us to do a barstool here.
They're like, just go find like no name, cheap talent.
That's going to, you know, find me the next Alex Cooper.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, let me just go do that.
Got it.
On it right now.
Let me just go just fucking make another billion-dollar franchise from a nobody.
That'll be real fucking easy.
You assholes.
This guy.
Okay, my last thing.
I don't know if this is really a Barstool Twitter roundup, but more just a Barstool roundup.
Monkey Boy is going to win Oscars.
Monkey Boy is an all-time.
I think I'm gone that day.
I'm so upset.
I would absolutely go to that game.
July 28th.
In where is it?
Nashville, New Hampshire.
Monkey Boy is the story of a local minor league baseball team who had a mascot called monkey boy and this fan ran
out on the field to fuck with him and tackled him and he like hit his head and got injured and never
i don't think he necessarily even got injured i think he was just like i'm not doing this ever
again like you assholes are like attacking me like fuck you i don't know whatever whatever
the reason is monkey boy retired and it like crushed this this local town in in new hampshire uh so nick and the gang uh
went up there and they're and they're making a documentary with michelangelo about uh monkey boy
coming out for one more game and the the city's like buzzing and it is i mean it looks like one of the
it has potential to be reenacting it and everything it has potential to be that one
clip of when there's like a skeptical uh like local is like what are you guys doing filming
you know they're like we're doing a thing on monkey boy like he might come back and he was like
oh that would be that'd be great that's fantastic that's fantastic
just overwhelmed with emotion he went from like what are you guys doing oh that's fantastic
spectacular so some good shit going on uh over on on social. Follow everybody on the Barstool team because we'll do a roundup each and every week.
This week had a lot.
We're not going to force anything.
This week had a lot.
Yeah, this was a ton.
This was a ton.
We have a lot of discipline.
We don't need to do it.
We're just kidding.
Who's our interview today?
None.
None?
All right.
Let's roll then.
We got a lot of topics to touch upon, and then we'll get into our voicemails.
It's the biggest entertainment week in history.
Yes.
We have Oppenheimer and Barbie and Out of Order, episode five.
Episode five.
Episode five.
You know, the three most anticipated pieces of content maybe the world has ever seen.
Dude, did you see this graphic Paz made this morning?
It's so sick.
I think I know exactly what you're talking about,
and it's the three things?
No, not that one.
It's very similar, but...
Great.
Barbie and Oppenheimer.
Who made the original Barbie and Oppenheimer shaking hands thing?
I don't know
The dramatics are so absurd
You would think it's the first time in human history
That two movies have come out at the same time
It's like a regular thing, right?
I feel like they used to do this all the time with Blockbuster
I'm pretty sure
I don't know
I'm almost positive that at least for 4th of July
And some of the big dates
I think they try and make sure they're not on the same day Because then you don't know on the weekend I'm almost positive that at least for 4th of July and some of the big dates that –
I think they try and make sure they're not on the same day because then you don't know on the weekend.
No, I know.
But I feel like there have been movies that have gone head-to-head before.
I think this is another example of Twitter is not the real world where it's like –
I think as much fun as it is on Twitter, I think both movies are not going to have the opening they should have.
Don't get me wrong.
I don't know why they would ever do it.
And I believe it's the same studio.
Because I read that Christopher Nolan was upset.
Yeah, that Warner Brothers did this to him.
Yeah, I think they're both Warner Brothers.
And then you got Tom Cruise in the mix mad about the IMAX thing,
which is like, get the fuck out of here.
What was that?
He likes to own the IMAX, all of Iaxes i think i think when his mission impossible movies drop
the only thing that airs in imax for the month is so he's mad just that there will be other movies
on imax screens the same month that his movies out which is like okay tom fucking relax dude um i feel like unless let's see uh this is
an article why did barbie and oppenheimer choose the same date the pop culture conversation
entirely done beside the excitement a couple why isn't it just like the sentence just say why they
did it what are you doing right now okay here it is to understand the reasoning behind this we have
to look at the uh at the deal director christopher nolan made with universal when he agreed to partner with
them on the film leaving his 19-year relationship with warner brothers behind nolan signed a deal
with universal in 2021 maybe that's it i think barbie is so it's like so uh okay i thought they
were that because no one was mad at them i thought that meant they were the same studio
no it's the opposite he's like fuck you yeah but that's cutting off your nose to spite your face
because you're gonna to have a lesser
weekend.
Right.
But not because of me.
I'm seeing both on Thursday.
I like a good old spite.
You know, I actually think.
Do you think there's a chance that this has caused so much hype?
They actually both will make more money than if they were solo.
I think that's the general vibe on Twitter.
Yeah.
I think that's a reality.
Yeah.
I think that makes sense logically, but will not make sense logically if that makes sense.
I saw a tweet talking about how studios are going to start doing this on purpose because this was clearly like an accident, like a marketing accident.
You know there's some marketing guy.
Yeah.
We did this on purpose.
But studios are going to start doing this and it will never work again because Twitter will make that cringy now.
Right.
Yeah.
They'll ruin it every time.
This was natural.
It happened. There's this underlying thing time. This was natural. It happened.
There's this underlying thing of spite, I think, that makes it cool.
I think there will be more people who go see Oppenheimer
than maybe originally would not have because of the hype.
But I also think if you just own a weekend.
I think there are people who are just like, let's go to the movies.
I think there are people who go to see a movie, and there are people who are like like, let's go to the movies. Not like – I think there are people who go to see a movie and there are people who are like, let's just go to the movies.
And then they kind of like, let's figure out a movie to go see.
And if Oppenheimer is the only one that week or Barbie is the only one that week, like you go then.
But I feel like – like I don't think I'm going to like Barbie and I don't – I ordinarily would not have gone to see it.
I'm going to go do like a double feature thing, you know,
because it's just like what's going on.
I think I'm doing 445 and 850.
I think I'm doing like a 4 and a 740 or something like that.
I think, Jackie, you sent a text about next Thursday,
so write those down that we're both going to see Barbary at 4.
There is, like I think there is some truth to the,
that there's this natural marketing,
but I don't think sharing,
cause there's only just so many times in a day.
There's so much time in a day.
And yeah,
I think there was something like 20,000 people.
But that's like nothing.
That's right.
20,000 people is nothing in the, in the big scheme of,
you know,
the,
the budgets and the box offices we're talking about.
Um,
I think it,
it's the perfect storm of wildly different type movies you know
uh wildly different demographics like there is i guess a world where they both kind of can live
you know i bet there's a fuck ton of barbie fans who don't give a shit about the story of
oppenheimer you know um and but i guess the vice versa the plus with that is it is the perfect like couples where it's like I'll go see Barbara with you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's what I mean.
Like they are opposites but they compliment each other, both big names, all that shit.
They don't match.
They go together.
Yes. To me,
it's like,
why,
unless the date means something,
unless it's like,
you need to have a movie drop on this day
or you look bad or something like that,
I don't know.
It has to be on Memorial Day weekend
because we need to be like the big movie of the summer.
Other than like that sort of shit,
like who fucking cares
if Oppenheimer's August 1st orst or july i think it just happened because the studios i guess don't
talk to each other so i think it happened and very naturally at first and then they were gonna move
it then and they were like no never mind this is actually kind of working let's leave it oh okay
i think as i understand i i would picture it would be more like i'm not gonna move it well
i'm not gonna move yeah fuck you then you you know, because you're basically like conceding.
But like, I don't think Drake even ended up dropping anything.
But he said he was dropping an album a couple weeks ago and then was like, I'm going to move it for Young Thug.
Like, to me, it just feels like, I don't know.
I would never have any, like, pride over a random release date.
Right. know i would never have any like pride over a random release date right let's say if if i had
like an album or something coming out about my birthday and it's like on my birthday you have
to do it for some reason on my birthday then fine but if it's just random days who fucking cares
yeah so i think uh i guess time will tell i just don't think it's possible for like both movies to
do like 200 million each or something like that. There's just not that many people, right?
Unless that many more new people go and that many people double up.
But I think I'm really going to hate Barbie.
I can't wait.
It's been a while since I truly hated something that's really, really beloved by people.
That's what I love.
That's when I shine.
I don't want to hate it.
I actually am going in with an open mind shine. I don't want to hate it. I actually am going in with an open mind,
but I can't wait to hate it.
I'm going to love it.
Particularly seeing the Mamma Mia next to it.
I do like...
Gosling is really playing this very well.
He's just a stud.
He was doing red carpets with that...
What was that chick?
The British chick who does those interviews.
Wait, does that already have 21.4 million views?
31.4.
I haven't seen it.
I started to watch it.
Can you just hit play on that?
Does he crush this?
That's 31,000.
It's 1,000.
Oh, oh, okay.
Never mind, never mind.
You saw his Ken Splane quote?
No.
They asked him about what are his thoughts on Barbie, and he's like, well, I'm not going to Ken-splain it to you.
He's smart.
He knows exactly what he's doing.
Whoever did, like, the rollout for Barbie is probably going to get very, very rich because it's been pretty fucking killer.
Yeah.
Oppenheimer, I would almost say the opposite.
I think Oppenheimer's just riding the wave of Barbie.
Like, I haven't seen, like, many good things for Oppenheimer. would almost say the opposite I think Oppenheimer is just riding the wave of Barbie I haven't seen many good
things for Oppenheimer
I agree with that
when they did the Barbie Malibu house
did you see that?
just like this pink house just popped up in Malibu
like the
and a tweet
I saw was that
the
it was Oppenheimer has the opportunity to do the funniest thing possible right now.
I think Oppenheimer is going to fuck.
Because it's all – so actually this kind of –
By the way, just real quick.
Whenever I close my eyes and picture Christopher Nolan, it's the the snotty obnoxious guy from goodwill hunting
the mathematician wait sorry like the guy who actually became the mathematician
it's oh that's christopher nolan from google hunting stellan skarsgård yes yeah yes yes
but particularly in that role because that guy's been that guy's been in like every movie ever
that is that is a real house for that they're like or they like it made a little
pop-up and i think they did like overnight because it's like it's very visible from the air
and i think everyone's like where the fuck that pink house come from sick it's an airbnb you can
rent it so smart dude i would love to know the budget for that talking about the revenant and
they were like when i said i said it has a 55 million dollar budget people never really know
just like does that number include marketing or not include marketing?
Is it the salaries?
What is it?
Blah, blah, blah.
I mean, the Barbie number has got to be astronomical, right?
I would.
Marketing.
I don't know about the, like, I just feel like, I don't know.
Could it all be, like, word of mouth?
$100 million specifically for marketing.
That's fucking nuts.
The $145 million budget and 100 of it is marketing?
I don't know that that's at $100 specifically for marketing.
Yeah.
So, $45 million to make the movie, $100 million to push it.
But that can't be right.
I feel like... Because Gosling and Margot Robbie probably cost a hundred million. But that can't be right. I feel like...
Because Gosling and Margot Robbie
probably cost $40 million.
Probably, right?
Yeah.
And then you have $10 million...
Well, that's what I mean.
Like, sometimes maybe
the movie
might be different
than, like, payroll.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
So it might be
Gosling gets $30 million,
she gets $30.
The production of the movie, meaning
materials and special effects
and blah blah blah, that costs $45.
And then if you add it all up, it's like
$300 or whatever.
All that stuff is like the...
I saw Rob Delaney
retweet someone being like,
I'm a economic
lawyer in Hollywood.
And I read these things and I'm like, they know laws exist rob delaney is no no like the probably retweeted some guy uh being like
like i i this is what because they're talking about the strike and stuff like that it's like
talking about i i handle like hollywood budgets and i'm like do they yeah understand what laws are it's the money dude the it's crazy the the budgets for movies
are so wild we're like and there is no middle ground like it's a hundred million dollar movie
or it's a free movie like an independent like rob did you see ed norton the other day talking
about the wes anderson movies no he he i guess Ed Norton's done like five Wes Anderson movies.
And he was like, I've made like $4,500 total for all these movies.
And he said something like, this is why I do blah, blah, blah movies so that I can do these movies.
Which is the shot toward the other.
I can't remember the name of it.
But he was kind of like.
But that's why those movies exist.
And that's why those studios do those movies is to make money for like the good movie like the
oscar any movie so i'm in for an oscar but like this this wes anderson shit like he's not gonna
make money i feel like i've heard a lot about it like it's it's not gonna i don't i don't know
enough i just know that like i know brad pitt's um film companies plan b studios his production
company is like it's called Plan B
because it's like when every studio turns them down,
they can come to them.
Cool.
And it's,
they do movies that are,
I believe in the article he said,
$20 to $100 million budgets.
That's just, that's the no man's land for movies.
Yeah, right, right, right.
Because you're not going to win the Oscar
for like an indie flick
and you're not the blockbuster.
There's nothing in between?
Apparently not.
Under $20 million or over $100 million?
It probably doesn't make sense to do that.
Because it's probably like, if you can do this for $40, we can cut corners and do this for $10.
But if you need to do effects and all that, and you do it for $60, it's going to look like shit.
So if you're going to do those things, we have to do it. And if you're not going to do those things, we don't have to do effects and all that and you do it for 60, it's going to look like shit.
So if you're going to do those things, we have to do it.
And if you're not going to do those things, we don't have to do it at all.
We can probably cut those scenes.
We can do this and that because it probably is all bottom line bullshit where it's like, you know, it probably is those movies, those comedies that we all love that are missing. Yeah.
It's like if you could just do like a fucking $70 million comedy. It doesn't need to be a huge thing, but it'll be good.
And they're like, nah, let's just turn that into a fucking Marvel movie or let's turn that into Oscar-worthy shit.
And by the way, I read a Twitter thread the other day on RoboCop.
RoboCop, the dude who played RoboCop, tried to method act.
And said he talked and walked
and acted like that
they said it lasted two weeks
and he was just relentlessly made fun of
and gave up on it
imagine the star of the movie being like
nope
this is not
I am not Kevin
I am Robocop
and they were just like shut the fuck up dude how long
are you gonna put up with this bullshit get the fuck out of here method acting robocop is some
shit dude um by the way real quick um remember it's something i wanted to bring up with the
uh actor i just referenced who did you just reference? Brad Pitt.
You heard of Del Toro
shoes? Yeah.
Very nice shoe company. Yeah.
I wore a pair of their shoes the other night. Yeah.
They put on their Instagram story
glad to see Feidelberg
wearing our shoes.
Do you know who the only other person
on their
thing is? It's Brad Pitt.
It is.
It's the big two, baby.
Wait, those are Del Toros?
Those bright yellow things?
Those aren't loafers, though, right?
No, they're like a chocolate.
And I did acknowledge one's a hard post, one's a story.
But that's okay.
Brad Pitt called a hard post. one's a story. But that's okay. Brad Pitt called a hard post.
I called a 24-hour window.
Got to follow up with them, though, no?
Yeah.
I mean, that's the kind of shit.
You should so be more influential in the fashion world than you are.
Or than you get credit for, you know what I mean?
Or money for, I should say.
You do get credit. You are influential. you just don't get any money for it my my big
thing homeboy from our show yes yeah uh also uh it's not the greatest clip but i i got a dm from from a local beer money basketball league.
The Premier Summer Basketball League in North Jersey.
Hashtag BMBL.
And they DM me this video of our guy just going nuts during the fucking game,
just screaming and yelling at people.
Imagine that dude just being a menace on the court at local men's league.
I can very easily imagine that.
I guess we haven't done an episode since, right?
So at our live show in Jersey, great show, good time.
Thanks to everyone who came.
If you came, you know the phrase 10 years and you know 17 slices.
We'll always have that, Jersey City.
10 years and 17 slices will always be ours.
But we did a meet and greet afterwards.
Come out, by the way, Minneapolis, Detroit, Buffalo, Madison, somewhere else.
Columbus?
Columbus.
Columbus, yeah.
Get tickets.
We're coming.
Get the tickets.
We do such a bad job
of marketing
yeah can you please
just buy tickets
so we don't have to do this
I was just thinking to myself
like when Barbie
has some shit
that they need to
like make sure it gets done
they spend a hundred
million dollars on it
I'm always like
ah
I forgot to post about this
all month
like we had
we were like leading up
to the show
and it had been promoted
like three times
this one's not selling huh i wonder why nobody knows it's happening just please it physically
pains me to promote so please just buy the tickets if you're in buffalo you know what is so funny
i don't even remember Buffalo Madison Minneapolis Columbus Detroit
Columbus
yeah
probably some other places
just go to the social
look out
and buy one of each
in every city
and you don't even have to come
no please come
because I'd rather you come
I know I hate
I don't even care about money
in Austin we had
we had a sellout
that then didn't look like a sellout
like people didn't come
for whatever reason
and I was like
I'd rather the opposite
I'd rather it be like we let a bunch of free people in and I got the fucking the full house.
Indianapolis, Madison, Milwaukee, Cincinnati, Columbus, Pittsburgh, Minneapolis, Detroit,
Buffalo.
Jesus.
What are we doing all that?
When the fuck did that all get?
I will check.
I'm not sure if everything's like official.
Let's just fucking base.
Nick said it's official.
Okay.
All right. When the fuck did that happen? if everything's like official. Let's just fucking... Nick said it's official. Okay. Yeah.
All right.
When the fuck did that happen?
September is Indianapolis,
Milwaukee,
October, Cincinnati,
Columbia, Pittsburgh,
and then... Yeah, I mean,
I guess it makes...
Yeah, one month.
We do three shows.
Makes perfect sense.
Yeah.
That's like the whole
like middle America
that people have been
wanting forever.
Yeah.
So you motherfuckers
better buy tickets.
Please. And the meet and greet was happening and this guy rolls up he looks like a uh portnoy poser like a like a fake dave portnoy same sort of hair same schnoz
the tan that dave used to have he doesn't have his cookie tan anymore air pods in
shirt
the whole show
I didn't see that that would have drove me crazy
I would have called that out I don't know what's going on
he is so tan I thought he was a black man the whole show
he has the air pods in
the sunglasses on top of his head
a white button shirt
buttoned down
unbuttoned to his belly button, and then a
pair of pink capri pants that were so tight, I genuinely thought those were female pants.
Yeah.
I was like, you borrow those from your girlfriend.
Looks like something out of the Barbie fucking budget.
And then a pair of loafers on, rolls up like, his strut was just like, here I am to give you my picture.
Let's go.
You guys are taking a picture with me.
Motherfuckers puts his arms around both of us.
And he's like, tell Dave I'm coming for his bitch ass.
One bite.
Everybody lick my nuts.
And as he's doing all that, we're like, do you have a phone to take the picture?
And he goes, nope.
And he just stands there.
And we were like, okay.
So our guys are taking pictures with the camera and their phones, and he just walks.
Walks.
I don't know if he said that.
To me, he went, nope, don't want one.
Nope, don't want one.
It had to be that because somebody said, why would you have your AirPods in if you didn't have a phone? He had a phone and was just like, nope, I don't want one don't don't want one it had to be that because somebody said what why
would you have your airpods and if he didn't have a phone he had a phone and was just like nope i
don't want it unbelievable move uh and i i was like i don't know if that guy was even real i bet
we never see him again he just like poof disappeared but apparently he's in the bmbl and uh i want more
highlights of this guy i need highlights of him him screaming at refs and getting in fights with old men.
I was this guy's sales manager.
He's an absolute wild card.
Yeah, I bet that.
Yeah, you being like, he goes nuts.
Can you imagine or envision whatever you said?
Can you envision him going nuts at men's league?
It's like seeing a morbidly obese person.
Can you see that person eating a thousand calories yeah i absolutely very easily can envision that
uh two thousand calories or whatever i don't know what calories are in meals but
yet again another round of uh what was that again this is from the guy oh yeah yeah so
there's just always
some wacky shit
that goes on
at live shows
this is why I love
doing them
um
there was this guy
who came up
afterwards
at the meet and greet
and gave
gave us
specifically
John
a set of
photography
prints
and that's
happened before
I got a picture of like you at the uh chicklets cup like chugging of photography prints. And that's happened before.
I got a picture of you at the Chicklets Cup chugging a Whistlepig or a Pink Whitney.
And then sometimes it's pictures of us on stage
or it's like an old school barstool mural.
That's happened before.
This guy, it was just photos.
Oh, we got him here?
No.
That was like, let was just photos. Oh, we got him here. No. That was like, let me just wildly disturb everything with this photo.
This is why I thought maybe you would throw any of the things in your hands at me.
I was going to just point to you.
It's right there what we're referencing.
You know, this is a nice glossy photo that makes sense to give to us.
This guy was like, you're a prince of snowboarding.
It was just a guy snowboarding.
And I was like, is that you?
John was like, I don't know.
Is it him?
I don't know.
It's just people snowboarding.
And then this.
I can't show that. And then this.
It's unfortunately blurred, but let me tell you. These are the best tits I have ever seen in my life.
It is a great pair of breasts.
Do you think those are just really, really good fake ones or real?
I think those might be really good fake.
Yeah?
It's a little bit.
It's a little bit. It's a little bit...
There's not much of, like, a scar,
but she also colored on her tits.
I was going to say, the scarring is non-existent.
Great tits from Jamie.
She's got a little nameplate necklace.
It's Jamie.
Jamie.
As you can imagine, it's spelled incorrectly.
That's...
You can spell Jamie that way.
Really?
J-A-I-M-E? Yeah, Jamie's a dumb one. It can be J-A-M-I-E? J-A-I-M-E?
Yeah, Jamie's a dumb one. It can be J-A-M-I-E
or J-A-I-M-E. Well, you can spell anything
any way you want. But there's a good amount
of Jamies who do it the J-A-I.
And then he signs
this.
He signs this photo
of his buddies
posing with a pair of
Jamie's tits.
And it says
J... That's not you, is it J.F.?
No. Okay. That kind of looks like how you do
your J's and F's. Yeah, it kind of does.
J.F., 2005,
2023.
I don't know what the 2005 is, maybe.
And then he puts
one of one.
It's rare.
At least this one's on a photo paper. It's just a one of one. Like, I mean, this is just printed.
At least this one's like on photo paper.
It's just a piece of paper with a pair of awesome tits printed on it.
And he labeled it one of one.
We haven't referenced this enough, Jackie.
We got to just like blur the nipple or something.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You got to see the roundness of it.
If we get like demonetized or something for this episode, so be it.
Show the world these tits.
And as a matter of fact, I will go to KFC Barstool.
I will bite the bullet and put this on my social media.
I'll make this my fucking avatar.
These tits are awesome.
It's been a while since I saw Pear Boost.
Right?
Yeah.
Mama. Yeah. That is. It's been a while since I saw Pear Boots. Whoa. Right? Yeah. Mama.
Yeah.
That is.
It's been since the last time I saw Sky Bree.
But other than that, that girl is fucking a red dick.
You know what?
I'm glad this is coming up because I have.
I'm wondering if other people go through this issue.
I have in the summer when When you're scrolling Instagram stories,
getting horny
before you find out
if you're allowed to be horny.
And since Nick's not here,
I'll do it for him.
I'm talking about adults.
But like...
Why would you not allow to be horny?
Like,
because so you're just going through it
and it's just like skin.
Like,
I don't know,
my dick sees people in bikinis, boobs, goes, whoa, boobs.
And you just kind of like, you know, like you hear a noise, a bump in the night.
But you're not allowed to.
I don't know.
Like, what if it's a relative?
If all you see is skin first and your dick goes.
If your dick gets so hard so fast.
I mean, it's obviously not getting hard, but it's just going.
Okay, but if you're.
It's going, whoa, what's that?
Whoa, it's going, whoa, boobs.
And whoa, skin.
Or yeah, a coworker, a relative, a fucking – I don't know, an ex-girlfriend.
Only one of those you're really not allowed to get turned on at.
And it's your family member and it was your first example and it's very concerning.
It's very concerning.
Well, I actually honestly –
Listen, if I – I don't even like follow any family members. If I'm talking through and I see a hot coworker, I'm like, I don't give a fuck.
You're hot.
If I see an ex, it's like, yeah, this is going to be a problem.
I'm like, jerk off to you later.
If I see a friend's ex –
Yeah, a friend's ex.
Girlfriend or whatever.
I don't give a fuck.
See, like I would – I feel not guilt, not bad, but i'd be like ah fuck if i like i'm look i'm not
like fucking working to completion here but it's just it's just acknowledging it's acknowledging
that there's a mostly exposed body in your eyes and then my eyes fucking pan up to the top left
i'm like who's this supposed to be all right we're good like you don't have that sense of
fear like fuck this might be...
No one else has that?
Let me tell you this much.
You guys all just getting horny to your family members?
And you're all okay with it?
I didn't know how else to get around this.
There's only one person in the room who's getting afraid of getting horny for his family members here.
I don't know.
The weird thing is...
The rest of us don't have the problem.
Is that, like, I don't even follow any family members and I don't know. The weird thing is don't have the problem. Is that like
I don't even follow
any family members
and I don't have any like
Yeah, okay, sure.
Let me lean back.
I don't even follow
any family members.
Go on Instagram.
What are boobs?
I don't even know
what you're talking about.
I think it's an impossibility
for me to like scroll.
I don't follow.
It couldn't even happen.
I don't have my real life
connected to my fake life.
Maybe that's your some edifice shit. That's just your greatest fear. It couldn't even happen. I don't have my real life connected to my fake life. Maybe that's your some Oedipus shit.
That's just your greatest fear.
It's just some, like, baby.
Jerking off to your sisters.
I'll tell you this much.
This shit could be my identical twin.
And I would get horny for these tits.
God damn, I wish her dick was bigger.
That's great it's just so funny to be like here's two like really professional pictures of of snowboarding that was probably like thanks bro and then the jamie's tits are like going
we're gonna like frame and put on the wall and shit uh you never know man you never know what
you're gonna get with with kc radio live shows the crowd always there is always some like really
fucking it always blows my mind how much there are how many people are like you know when you
see like uh or i always hear stories of like you know we flew from like canada for this show i'm
like you know when you see like a sign that's like at a Drake concert, like I came all the way from blah, blah, blah for you.
I'm like, I get that.
Or things are like we made this shirt or I made you this thing.
And I'm always like – I see that for like rock stars and like really legitimate celebrities.
And there's always a few people who do it for our shows that still to this day just always blows my mind.
Shout out to the people who go like above and beyond because it's
crazy.
Like for us? Okay.
Sounds good, man.
So
hang on.
What did we say we were going to do?
I was going to do a segment while John's gone. I can't stop
thinking about it. Maybe every time he's just doing
coke, that would be so funny. Yeah, I mean
there's a strong chance that Feidelberg
might just have a raging cocaine problem.
He goes to the bathroom like five times an episode now.
And then the episode ends, and he's like,
all right, I got to pee real quick.
And then he comes back, and we're like,
okay, let's do an answer to the internet now.
He's like, all right, hang on, I'm going to pee.
It's crazy.
And imagine the whole time if he was just running in there like non-stop all day long and then it would be
even more awkward that like if it is and eventually it comes out that it's a problem then we're doing
this segment like laughing about it but it was like yeah no man i was actually a fucking raging
addict just blasting off in the bathroom it like we all agree something's wrong with this bladder
right like it's not there's like small bladders there's i drink a lot of water there like tom and off in the bathroom. We all agree something's wrong with his bladder, right?
There's small bladders. I drink a lot of water.
Tom Scabelli is one
of those guys who has to pee every hour.
This is like every 15 minutes.
And he does drink a lot, but at some point
it's like, I don't care how many waters you've had today,
there just can't possibly
be anything left
in the tank.
And I'm like, are you shitting yourself? I don't think so.
The
mystery continues.
I feel like
maybe he's not even going to the bathroom.
Maybe he's running and
making a phone call.
Maybe he's ripping cigs.
Not even...
We're going to have to start
tailing him.
Like, Vinny, go check out where he's going.
Imagine that.
He's just, like, not even in the bathroom, and he's just, like, around the corner in, like, the closet doing some weird shit.
Imagine he's just thinking about his horny sisters, and he's just.
He's just checking his hair.
I can't, I mean.
What could it be?
How's that cocaine?
We're just convinced it's either a severe problem with your bladder or a severe problem with cocaine.
It's diabetes, obviously.
I mean, have you gotten, have you at the doctor recently been like, I pee every 15 minutes?
No.
You should probably do that.
You should probably tell them.
Why?
It's like normal pee.
It's not.
The frequency is not normal.
I'm going to start timing your pees.
You just went seven minutes ago.
This is going to be a one-pee show, probably.
You'll probably pee right when we're done.
I peed right before.
So you peed right before. You peed in the middle. You're going to pee when we're done, and then you'll probably pee right when we're done. I peed right before. So you peed right before.
You peed in the middle.
You're going to pee when we're done.
And then you'll probably pee like – you'll be like, all right, I got to go do out of order, but let me pee first.
It's crazy.
I said my newest life hack is like when I'm editing, I'll chug a bunch of water and I won't let myself pee until I finish like a certain part of the edit.
And then I let myself pee after I finish and I chug a bunch of water
again and then I have to pee again and then I finish
and then I just go
back and forth until I finish.
It's always great to have a look at the artistic
process.
Just really
like the all-time greats.
How do you create your art?
I can't wait until Jackie tries
to combine this with her. Chug a bunch of water, take a fat piss. I can't wait until Jackie tries to combine this with her.
I just chug a bunch of water, take a fat piss.
I can't wait until she combines this with her sleep habits and just pisses the bed.
She's just going to be like, I'm sorry, I didn't wake up with my alarm.
I woke up to me peeing the bed.
That's what I do, too, since I don't wake up to alarms is I chug a bunch of water before a nap.
Oh, this bitch is going to piss her pants.
You are going to pee the bed for sure.
No, I haven't done that yet.
Yeah.
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All right, let's get into One Minute Man.
The Adam 22, Len of the Plug sex tape situation continues to dominate the headlines.
The video is out.
Have you seen it?
I have not seen it.
I have not seen it either.
Apparently, it's pirated all over the place, which they had to have
known was going to happen. Because we kind of know Adam
and kind of know Lena.
It makes it a little weird for me.
It's a little...
Covering the whole thing,
I mean, the guy's dick is
so fucking big.
Pat said, I don't know if he used performance enhancing
drugs or if he had the local
12 crane fucking help him lift it but like props in for getting hard uh the video's out um i i have
not seen it i will probably watch it at some point because i have sworn solemn promise to you that i in the world that have sex on camera um her the funniest part is the post-game interview
with this guy justin black jason love justin love jason love jason love from blacked
the interview with him started by a white guy by the way yeah very funny very you know
feels i wonder what you're
into sir um the post-game interview with him is so memeable and so fucking funny
and so inappropriate i couldn't watch it did you did you know what they talked about did you hear about i
saw like the cream pie yeah yeah i saw that and i was like the interviewer says you cream pie her
at the end cream pie by the way is an exceptionally uh uncomfortable phrase for me to say i don't like
to say that word at all that sunny episode is one of the all-time most ridiculous things.
The fact that it became somewhat common,
like if a girl ever says cream pie to me,
I'm like, I can't even fucking believe it.
That's ridiculous that we have this slang term
for just a pussy filled with cum.
Holy shit.
So the guy says, was it
cream pie? And his response
was, again,
so over the top that if there
wasn't a video out, I would still
be claiming it's fake. He was like,
now, you know, that pussy hasn't been opened up
in a long time. So I was in there
opening it up, and I was in there
for like, you know 5 10 15
whatever minutes and my dick went numb and so it just happened i was like i don't know what's worse
if you plan if she was just like yeah please come inside me or the idea that i needed to stretch it
out to the point that my dick went numb all of it is just crazy and then uh
and then they were they're like do you think that you fuck better than adam 22 and he's like well
obviously yes obviously uh it is one of the funniest but like all the more, like, holy shit. I don't think this is going to end well.
I just fear everybody sounds like they're all on board until, like, someone blows the building up.
You know what I mean?
Now, the result is, Len of the Plug searches on Pornhub are up 4,000%.
She jumped to the number one person on the page.
I was going to say, she was, like, two, wasn't she?
No, no, she was 23.
But that's still, like, that's my point with this whole thing. She was the to say, she was like two, wasn't she? No, no, she was 23, but that's still like,
that's my point with this whole thing.
She was the 23rd, there's a bajillion porn stars.
Yeah.
She's number 23.
They make so much money on No Jumper.
They make so much money on Plug Talk.
They're already famous.
They're already, you know, it's like,
how much more did this add that it was worth it?
But I guess a lot.
I don't know, you're the number one search on Pornhub and maybe a lot of people
are going to continue watching that.
It was two years ago
we were interviewing Adam
and he's like,
yeah, we just got a Pornhouse.
Pornhouse.
And I didn't know him that well
so I didn't even know they did porn.
And I knew he did let in the plug.
I knew she was like
an OnlyFans person.
I didn't know they had done stuff together.
I didn't know anything.
I was like,
wait, they have enough money
for another house?
And that was like two or three years ago.
That was, I think, at the very beginning or maybe before Plug Talk.
It was before they formalized the show, right?
Because that interview was why I followed Adam,
and he definitely started doing Plug Talk for years after that.
Now, Adam is still like, we're all good, man.
And I'm just like, okie dokie, if you say so.
It's just like all this stuff makes me so uncomfortable.
Like just people commenting on their relationship with sincerity.
Even the jokes are a little uncomfortable,
but the sincerity makes me more uncomfortable. And it's probably just because of my own shit but like
i don't like anything with that i used to get uncomfortable with brady giselle stuff like
i'm like that's a personal relationship i don't but that's your own the flip side that's why i
probably couldn't watch the interview where i was like there's like people i kind of know
and again like i i've never talked to any of them off air it's just like yeah i've at least That's probably why I couldn't watch the interview where I was like, there's people I kind of know.
I've never talked to any of them off air.
It's just like I've at least sat down and had conversations with them.
I've texted back and forth with Adam a little bit here and there to the point that I'm like – I texted him.
I was like, can I do one minute man on this?
Because I didn't even want to like – Yeah, that's the point.
Well, that's what he said.
The more the better.
But I'm like, I just feel like I need to clear that.
And so anything I might say we kind of know is under the guise of content. Well, that's what he said. He was like, the more the better. But I'm like, I just feel like I need to clear that. Yeah.
And so anything I might say we kind of know is under the guise of content.
Lena commented like an emoji face on it that was I think like the surprised one.
And I was like, is this good or bad?
Yeah.
I don't want to like cross any lines. I mean, the amount of people just being like, you know, you're all trash and like your relationship is doomed is like, shut the fuck up.
You know what I mean?
I personally would not like that.
That's my own personal opinion.
I thought it was very poignant the way Adam was like,
there's a lot of dudes commenting on this as if they were in this situation.
Yeah.
And you and your girl are not.
But all that being said, it is just –
you know what's funny too?
Funny about this whole thing it's just like there's just
inherently a lot of hints of racism in the world still because like oh are there
but like even even you know in like like it's just it's it's different because he's a black
performer yeah they say it she said it she said everybody different because he's a black performer. Yeah. They say it.
She said it.
She said everybody like like leading up to it.
She was like, all my fans said they want me to.
She said it to like her boyfriend's face.
All my fans said they want me to do a BBC.
The same thing is cream pie.
When you're just throwing BBC in like your conversation.
But like, it's just it's this thing that he's just this gigantic black dude
as if it was like you know be any better if it was an enormous white dude uh i almost think it's
weirder if it was a gigantic white dude like a who's like a giant like a big show yeah if the
mountain or yeah yeah like yeah if tyson fury fuck your girl is he a big dude or does he have a big dick?
Tyson Fury?
No.
Oh, this guy.
He's... I don't know how tall he is.
He's jacked. And I think his dick is just a tree trunk.
I guess he is like the head main guy at Blacks.
Oh, then I've seen...
I think when you need a black guy to fuck you,
you go...
Yeah, 6'5".
Dude, he is 6'5 five two thirty five and i take
thirty five of that is his dick um it's just it's a crazy crazy internet story man yeah uh also
crazy the the the attempted murder from the the gold and dress guy. It's just further proof.
It's odd
to realize that it was 11 years.
It's been going on for 11 years.
And therefore, this picture was taken in 2015.
So smack dab in the middle.
She was right in the heart
of an 11 year
They called it a campaign
of domestic violence.
When she took this picture
she had been wait it doesn't what year is it now 2000 it was 2015 2003 2003 so that's
eight years ago yep so when she took this picture she'd been avoiding murder for three years
and then went viral and i and it was like and then what have to go on Ellen with this fucking guy
why was he involved in it
I have a feeling why
I mean it was his
yeah why the fuck was he involved
because it was her mom
the wife's mom
was the owner of the dress
so you just go do that with your wife and your mom
why is the husband there
yeah what the fuck is that about?
Yeah, that guy.
What a dickhead.
What an asshole he is.
He doesn't like Paul Dano.
I'm surprised that she couldn't beat him up.
I like how they blurred their faces on that one.
What the fuck has been on Ellen?
I feel like she could have taken him.
So yeah, that one was crazy.
I can't even wrap my head around
I've seen the videos a bunch
I get the gist of what's going on
I still can't wrap my head around
The gang gang popcorn girls
I can't but
Gang gang gang gang gang
I watch it every time it comes up
It's
This girl Pinky World is
So talented at it
It's intoxicating
She's so good at it.
Put it on.
Give me volume.
Gang gang.
Gang gang.
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.
Fire, fire.
Gang gang.
Yes, yes, yes.
Oh, thank you, Padre.
I love you.
Love you, love you, love you.
Yes, popcorn.
Yes, popcorn.
Yes, popcorn.
Yes, popcorn.
Oh, special. Yes, platform. Yes, platform. Oh, special.
Fire, fire.
Oh, thank you, Gia.
That's my dress.
We can match the flowers on my head.
Beautiful.
For you, pop.
It is.
I wish I had the discipline to not watch, but I don't.
So, okay.
I needed a few.
Is she...
So people are jerking off to this. Yes. Yeah, this is a sexual thing, right... So people are jerking off to this.
Yes.
This is a sexual thing, right?
They're jerking off to their family members.
So she goes on TikTok
and then these guys in the chat
tell her what to say
with emojis and shit.
You buy the emojis.
So they're just paying her
to say like gang gang
Popcorn gang gang
Is she popping popcorn with her hair
Yes
It's incredible
You know who her number one donator was
Timbaland
I mean that is
He was probably like
Y'all can see that
That needs to be You know when you start a Zoom and it goes like, the other party is recording.
Which they waited like two years to add.
Way too late.
That, like, just started.
We've been doing this for years.
But that – like, you know, this should be – when you log in, like, hey, man, you're going to be – like, people will know how much money you sent to these fucking people.
That's like when Instagram showed everyone their likes.
Yes.
Yeah, that was fucking terrible.
Just need what your friends like. mind the so that that is bad for timbaland because it has brought
up timbaland talking about how he got horny for a leo when she was like 13 and then married his
wife because she looked like a leo yeah that's a tough scene. Tough scene for Timbo. But okay, I still don't get two things.
I buy the emoji and post it, and that makes her talk.
That's what tells her what to say.
And that money goes to her?
To her account that's hooked up to her.
And how much are we talking?
I think that they're like what do you think $5
some are like fractions of cents like the
lowest one is like is like a fraction of a cent
but some of them go high it goes up to something incredibly
high I know how much you mean
and my other question is I
don't kink shame
or
kink care
but how does this get anybody around like how do you like Don't kink shame or kink care.
But how does this get anybody around?
Like, how do you, like, like, actually, I can understand it because she's a hot chick just doing a weird, like, anime thing.
That's what people are into.
It doesn't do it for me.
I get it.
My question, though, is, is there, like, a finale?
Is it, like, when she says, like, gang, gang, I'm going to come?
You know what I mean? Like, we all know it pours. Probably when she says, like, gang, gang, I'm going to come? You know what I mean?
Like we all know it pours. Probably when she says the one you sent.
I guess so, yeah.
So you think it's just come, come, come, come, come?
Yeah, yeah.
She's constantly coming?
How about I've only seen her and that other girl with the wig on.
Are there a bunch?
Mm-hmm.
Oh, now I really get it.
Are they as good as?
For the record, Pav just showed an alt chick. Yeah, that's all I'll tell you. Are they as good as... For the record, Patrick showed an alt chick.
Yeah,
that's all it takes.
You got like a neck tattoo.
I get it.
I wish that wasn't
the first noise.
Michael Jordan,
three-pointer.
Is that a dude?
I think that's a dude.
Love you too. Thanks for the roses. Is that a dude? I think that's a dude. Alright, I'm anti-LGBTQ.
Yo, alright, bro.
My entire political world just got flipped over. Bro, I was like, oh, that's Christy Mack.
That's Chris Mack, dog.
Christopher Mack in the building.
Let's be clear that Pinky World is the GOAT of this.
No one else.
Everyone else is playing for second place.
That other girl was pretty good.
Yeah, the number one female in Pinky World.
This guy's got a deeper laugh than me.
How did this start?
I have so many questions.
Was someone on live and was just like,
hey, how about I i'll say i'll just
say whatever you guys tell me to say in the chat and then like it like it just becomes dang and
when she goes and makes those noises yeah i was like this bitch can beat box it's a real talent
oh i think i know i know what happens next time jackiees up. Oh, my God.
Jackie has to do this in the helmet.
By the way, did you ever wear the helmet, Jackie?
You didn't wear the helmet for one fucking minute.
Actually, you know what?
This is the punishment.
You got to do this now.
I actually meant to bring the helmet today to make up for it, but all.
But you didn't.
So now you're going to do the gang popcorn thing.
We can literally make this happen right now.
Let's go.
That's true.
That would be crazy.
I don't want the helmet on me.
Well, the helmet's not the point.
We don't need the helmet.
I just want to see Jackie just gang, gang, gang, gang.
That would be so good.
I do think I try to pump the brakes on some of the – I know I always speak in terms of the greatest ever, the worst ever, always hyperbole.
I do try to pump the brakes on actually feeling that way though because I think that like no matter what is happening in history, it probably was the same way for the previous.
This is getting weird this feels like like what is the
equivalent to this in like the 50s you know like we're starting to get into territory that i'm just
like i can't and i'm a dirty internet generation weirdo you know like we're from the fucking gutter
and i'm like what are we doing here guys yeah the Yeah. What the fuck is going on? Can't we just put on Lena cheating on her husband with the big black guy and jerk off to that?
Come on.
I'm not even looking for the sexual aspect of it, but, like, it's just, it happens.
We are just now the people who are, like, so kids are going to hell in a handbasket.
Yeah.
It hasn't,
but it's,
there isn't really an equivalent,
but like rap music,
rock music.
Yeah.
It was like,
I mean,
I guess there's something wrong with the kids these days.
This is all the same,
the same demo.
It's just like the weird anime people.
Yeah.
And it used to be,
it went,
you know,
like anime porn.
And before that was probably just like cartoon porn and before that was weird.
Whatever those guys have liked all this time, this is the new version of that.
But boy, I don't know.
It's like out of all the bad stuff out there, if I ever came home and my kids were like, gang, gang, gang, gang, gang,
they're never going outside again.
You know?
But that's the way people thought about fucking video games.
But I think there's something tangibly different.
I don't know.
You're probably right, but this just feels so weird.
I agree, but I think that's the feeling everyone always had, too. We had our thing, but this one feels so weird i i i agree but i think that's the feeling everyone
always had too like we had this we had our thing but this one's weird yeah yeah i do get that
go to go to the blonde that that that one i feel like is up there too
what what i'll say about this one That is
And I do think is probably weirder
It's all very infantilizing
Yeah very childlike
These are pedophiles
There wasn't a lot
At least I remember in video games
Or in rap
I'm using those examples I don't even know
It was actually two adult was the argument for stuff right it was like right this
yeah the internet now preys upon girls and uh little kids and pedophiles who like little kids
yeah a little too much it's really the pedophiles were the victim yeah they're getting preyed upon
uh yeah i mean the the internet is slowly become uh you know we've always been devolving
down into to the depths of hell and then there's um i feel like there's you know there's always a
couple people who kind of even things out on like the good side of the internet have you seen um
this chick uh bobby with the uneven tits no bobby altair i think is her name name. B-O-B-B-I. She just interviewed Drake.
Oh, yes.
I didn't know.
So she got pregnant and had a baby.
I'm pretty sure this is where she at least got her fame.
One boob filled up with milk more than the other, like to a very obvious extent.
She has like Glenny boobs, like super really super lopsided and she has like a
small frame and they're pretty big so like i think it was just very obvious and i think she went viral
initially for being like they don't tell you when you're becoming a mom that you might have like
lopsided boobs and she has parlayed that into this tiktok presence and then parlayed the presence the tiktok presence into a podcast where she uh interviews people like it's it's basically two between two firms yeah um episode
like three has drake yeah i saw this she had like her friend she had a a rapper then like a somewhat
big rapper i think like a medium like mid-level guy and then Drake I think
it was in his bed yeah in his house
and
I just can't
fathom
she's really good at like doing like the
the deadpan delivery
it was like why am I here
why are we doing this and everyone's like you
they all play along pretty well you invited me
so no I didn't,
I don't know what you're talking about.
But this notion that like,
she,
uh,
is just a mother of two and,
you know,
puts her shit on Tik TOK,
like every other 20 something girl,
like her age,
all of a sudden some weird boob thing happens to her just like totally freak occurrence
you are interviewing drake like drake drake i i i i don't really listen to his music much anymore
i got a great internet presence he's got his ear to the streets got a great eye of yeah of like
comedy of like yep he he obviously he's got some conversation yep this one if he's in there of his ear to the streets of comedy. He
obviously does Sunday Conversation.
This one, if he's in there...
He's always just in general with memes
that he then incorporates onto his
show. He puts it on the big screen.
He's always commenting.
He goes on shows.
I'm sure people will say, he's got a team.
We'll show him. That's to an extent.
But Drake's always had... You could did SNL, you could always tell, like, Drake had –
Totally.
Comedic jobs.
Like, comedic timing.
And, like, you could have a team tell you about Bobby Baltoff, but then you've got to do this interview.
And it's not funny if you don't get it.
And it is funny, so you know he –
And also someone could show you something that is incredibly popular and you go, I don't get it.
Yeah.
Like, particularly when you get to that level, like, you're like, I don't get it.
He's like, no, I get it.
And I'm sure that also means that they're showing him a ton of stuff that he's like, nah, not that one.
Yeah, yeah.
Yes, that one.
Yes, that one.
No, not that one.
He did this with Caleb too, right?
Caleb went to him.
Yeah.
So that's pretty sick to be at the level of like, and I'm sure he pays for everything or whatever.
But it's, again, like, if you're Bobby's husband or someone in his family, friends, kids, whatever, where it's just like, mom's got to go to Drake's house now.
I'm going to do a podcast from his bed.
And then also she's got to, like, play her character.
Yeah.
So she can't be like, oh, my God, this is so crazy. She's got to be play her character yeah so she can't be like oh my god
this is so crazy because she's got to be like what the who fucking cares who are you you know
the the only clip i saw and i actually would like to watch this whole thing was the non-stop one
yes that that like does she and i guess this is the the genius of the writing like
does she know that's a drake song she must because i think that was yeah because like no one
calls it a non-stop play yeah it's very it's a weird it's a weird reference yeah she like then
for him to pick up on like or something like that and then playing through it like that that was all
talking about it was very funny i think it's a very it is like a caleb-esque level of humor
they'll still be great together um of like and you never break character and you always
i would i would not be able to do it like i i would not be able to be interviewed by her
yeah a lot of rick glassman's a comedian who was who was on actually the first time i found her
or no i knew who she was i didn't know she had a podcast and i saw her interview with rick glassman
who's like a comedian who raps and like a pretty no-nonsense, no-bullshit guy.
And they were arguing with each other.
And I didn't know at that point that that was
the gimmick. So I was like,
I was about to do one Minuteman on it, being like
comedian and TikTok
podcaster, fight over
blah, blah, blah. And I realized that
it's almost as
important to have a good
co-host or interviewee go along with the shtick.
Yeah.
Because if you start laughing, it just – I mean, Drake played it absolutely perfectly.
Also, I don't – I'm pretty sure that boob thing is why she got popular.
If she actually had some other thing, like if there was a reason why, and I didn't know.
I'm sorry.
But I noticed.
I knew her because she had the lopsided boobs.
But yeah, right? Yeah boobs um but yeah right yeah yeah yeah yeah look at that like that one is fucking way bigger than the other one um i mean like way bigger look at that thing look at that thing hanging do they
stay like that uh i don't know i mean usually when you have your kid you breastfeed
for a little while and then as the kid weans off of it you're you're like your tits know to wean
off too like slowly too um but like that girl was probably just living a pretty shitty life
two kids and a lopsided boob and then she like probably
doesn't even think to parlay it
until you know she just probably this is
crazy they don't tell you about this when you have a kid
that your tits might go
lopsided and then like 100
million views later she's like alright
let me try to like let me try
this podcast thing and
and everyone does that.
Boom, great to be fucking Drake.
So like then to have the ability to cut through the noise on that.
Yeah, as much, it's funny.
We always say a lot like podcasting is kind of like old news and dead and stuff.
It's really not.
It's mediocre podcasting is gone.
Yeah.
If you're really fucking funny, people will tune into your at least you know your
video podcast uh i don't know how long like i think these are great clips i could not sit through
an hour-long interview even like a 20-minute interview yeah of fake arguing right you know
what i mean that's yeah even like between two ferns was always 10 minutes is that an hour and
11 minutes yeah like that is unless she 11 minutes? Yeah. That is.
Unless she's really good and you actually are getting information and stuff.
Yeah.
I'm like, this needs to just be a clip.
But anyway, I think she's also one of these people, the rare occurrence where everybody likes her.
Yeah.
Everyone's rooting for her.
It's like guys are like, she's funny, whatever.
She's pretty.
Girls like her and don't do the bitchy thing with her. It's like guys are like she's funny, whatever. She's pretty. Girls like her
and don't do the bitchy thing with her.
And then she just like kills it with the
with the whole shtick. I mean, Drake
is fucking. Drake should be
a talent manager. That should be his next
thing. He should like own a label and
it shouldn't be just music. It should be like everything.
I think he would have. And then he could put
whoever he wants on. You know what I mean? Yeah.
Like with that platform, just be like, you're next.
You're next.
You're next.
So shout out to Bobby Althoff.
Althoff.
Oh, while we're on the tits, how about that MMA chick who flashed her tits after she won?
I saw a headline.
I have not seen the—
I think it's like one of these, you know, like alternative type.
It wasn't like the UFC.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But just like, Maldivian, you know, fighting braids, pigtailed up, and just like, wow, titties.
And I'll tell you what, she's no Jamie.
But, you know, for a fighter, sometimes the girls get a little more on the masculine side and it's not as you know conventionally hot or pretty whatever but i feel like a move like that goes one of two ways
and it seemed like everybody else was you know like she's kind of on an island
like like nobody's, they're just.
Well, all right.
What are you supposed to do?
Yeah.
As a guy, you can't get involved.
A cameraman got involved.
Put that big screen.
Like, the cameraman right away.
The cameraman got right in there.
Dude, to be a cameraman, you got to be a pervert.
Yeah, totally.
Watch the cameraman.
Yeah.
I'll go with you everywhere.
You remember the bread and butter of Barstool for a while,
of live covering a game, was hot chicks in the crowd.
Yeah.
And cameramen always find one.
And then go back to and zoom in on.
And I'm like, is this for you, for us?
I don't know what's going on here.
That was always a creepy
thing.
I believe in the headline
I saw, I think she called it a wardrobe malfunction.
I don't know if she did that
tongue-in-cheek, but having now seen
the video, I think it was pretty apparent
what she was attempting to do.
I think the wardrobe worked perfectly fine.
It was you tearing the wardrobe off.
It functioned just fine. Those are
great tits, though. A lot of great tits on the show today.
Couple lopsided, couple
perfect, couple big, couple, you know.
Today's the boob episode.
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And then lastly, the Finnish Hobby Horse Championship was last week.
This is some old school Barstool type shit.
I would have loved to blog this.
If you were first to a video of this one where kids, I think, presumably, are using horse sticks.
Oh, Dave did this.
No, Dave did this about the horse.
Dave did the where you run
which is light years
more difficult than this.
This is a fucking kid
just
fucking
I mean that is
and look at that dude
that's in like a
a fucking
hangar
that's in like a
conference center
like a Javits center
bro I think this is
a high school auditorium
that's a pretty big
fucking
that is huge
I think it's a public
high school basketball arena
not where I'm from
that is fucking
massive
and
and then they have like a
championship like all around the world i watched a video on like how like there was like a trainer
being like how to do it like you tip your leg sideways to get over i was like this is a whole
other fucking world man i'm the jumping the height i'm impressed by the rest of this i think i could
literally do that yeah like you know i was pretty smooth i'm impressed by that like if it looked
like some like ballerina like dance shit or i was like oh that's that's that i mean she's high
stepping yeah she's doing the neon yeah but those literally are like the horse toys you used to get as a kid, right?
I fucking bully these kids so hard, man.
That's the problem, dude.
This is the problem with the world.
Wasn't even a bully.
If I had a time machine, I'd just go back and bully these kids.
Some kids need to be bullied.
We let a whole generation go unchecked
to the point that there is now an international championship for running around your house with a fake horse.
Yeah.
Look, I'm not going to say if you put me in a room with one of these, I might not give it a whirl.
I might give it a ride.
But, like, I'm not doing it in public.
That's the problem.
You used to do embarrassing stuff in the privacy of your own home.
Yes.
And that's it.
You wouldn't dare do this shit in front of your friends.
You wouldn't invite your friends to your hobby horse championship.
You do it at home.
You tell your brother and sister.
If you tell anybody about this, I'm going to fucking kick your ass, and that's it.
How much – how long has this been going on?
Can we get that?
Like when was the first – because to get to the point where there's a championship where people come from far and wide means it's had to have been
going on for a long ass you know who should really kill themselves is the people who are
the judges yeah i'm an adult who's gonna judge a child or at least a teen hobby horse association
i'm gonna give them a number grade on their high-stepping with a fucking horse between their legs.
2002?
Bro, you are a pervert.
2002?
2002 is when it was founded, but Hobby Horse grew as a trend.
2002, right when I got to high school.
They knew.
It grew as a trend, though, in the 19th century, but it didn't really become an official thing until 2002.
What the fuck? They were like, all right, he's in high schoolth century, but it didn't really become an official thing until 2002. What the fuck?
They were like, all right, he's in high school now.
We can start doing this with the kids again.
Because otherwise, he's going to be a fucking terror.
And I get, like, if you jump over a high thing,
you know, whoever has the highest win.
Yeah.
But, like, who's judging?
At least do that shit at least in a tank top on a track field.
I'll still fucking bully you.
Yeah.
But not a has-been.
I'll still go, still go i was pretty high
one of the weirdest fucking internet things for sure uh so it's kind of the good the bad
the ugly of the internet today on one minute man um i think that's all i got for for one minute
man shit uh there's also been a lot of um a lot of shit right right now on the tv world in the
movie world we haven't we haven't done some entertainment talk in a little bit so uh we can get into that uh you and
i both watched platonic loved it yeah i liked it you seem to love it loved it i thought i i love
rose burn rose burn great she's good racks me she's great i actually because i like platonic
so much and finished it i i went and watched Bridesmaids.
I need more Rose Byrne. She's great.
Bridesmaids is fucking fine. Dude, the episode
when she fucking
when she fucking
knocks the painting off the wall.
Yeah, that was
great. Oh, I bet Kevin masturbates
in the bathroom.
When she's
like, it's not a phrase yeah the other girl
was right yeah yeah we know dude she's fucking fun when she was on ketamine and she's like
falling everywhere that was some great act like physical acting like just spilling and dragging. It's kind of a unique, like, pioneer-type show because it's about a guy and a girlfriend.
I love that there's no sexual tension.
Right, like, at the end, there's no, like – and then they realize they loved each other.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They just, like, awkwardly kind of connect.
And, I mean, like, there's, you know, the show Friends and Jerry and Elaine.
Like, there is that stuff.
But not really.
Jerry and Elaine.
It's never the focal point of the show.
It's always like they once dated or you want them to date.
I don't think people watch platonic going like, oh, I hope they get together.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And probably some weirdos.
And there aren't any hints that like, oh, they almost kissed.
They're platonic friends.
And you know what else first of all very
realistic script
like I felt like a lot of the stuff they were saying
the jokes they were making and the way
they were making I was like that's how people talk
it's a very hard thing to do
in the world of TV because you can't
have true conversation
because true conversation people
interrupt and step on each other and it's a mess.
It needs to be talk, talk, talk, talk.
But the way to make a good show but make it seem real, that – like their references and some of the jokes and the way they were talking.
I was like that's how people talk, especially amongst girls.
I was like that's – like when the two chicks have a night out.
I was like that feels like what I think at least girls kind of how they talk it was it was very realistic in that
sense and very realistic in the sense of like the whole storyline he i we were friends he got a
girlfriend she didn't like me we basically you have to break up right then i came back around
after the divorce like that's how guy and girl
platonic relationships go all the time where it was like hey like sorry that like we i had to like
ditch you but like my wife hated you or vice versa and that's like but hey like you were right and
i'm wrong so let's be friends again like that kind of shit is is it was all rooted in a lot of real
realism uh and then the rest i thought was just like good old hijinks.
It was like the episode with the painting
and a couple other things.
Ketamine.
And I had no hopes.
I was just like,
I haven't heard anything about this really.
People were talking about it.
Yeah, I'm surprised.
Especially with Seth Rogen.
I think he just wrapped last week.
Oh, is it that?
I thought it was older. No, because. Especially with Seth Rogen. I think he just wrapped last week, I think. Oh, is it that? I thought it was older.
No, because I started
watching it early July.
I watched it July break
and I was excited
to finish it.
I thought it was all out
and I think I got
to episode eight.
Yeah, so like the last two.
No, just.
Oh, just.
I finished it.
Yeah, I just finished
it last night too.
I do think Seth Rogen
got caught up
in the political
like liberal,
woke, blah, blah, blah shit.
So I wonder if that hurt him a little bit.
Because I just haven't heard, like, anything about it. Yeah, I don't think Apple TV does a great job promoting their stuff.
They don't.
They really don't.
Yeah, that's a good point.
Apple did.
They do have some fucking fire out there.
Yeah, Silo.
I love Silo.
Platonic was good.
I love For All Mankind.
I love The Morning Show. I love
people love Severance.
There's a lot of good shows.
Apple did a really good job of
getting in that game and doing it pretty well.
I think Apple is putting out
the best stuff right now. Could be.
Could very well be.
I finished Severance.
Severance took me like three separate tries
I forget if we already
talked about it
I'll say fast
I watched it like
took me like three separate
times watching episode one
and I kept being like
I don't really get it
it's like very like
sterile and like
whatever
oh yeah we did talk about
because I texted you
after work
I didn't love Severance
did you try it again
no
having been in the
corporate world now
I think you'll like it more
because it's almost like
more about
and maybe you won't like it because you're a sci-fi guy almost like yeah more about and maybe you won't like it
because you're a sci-fi guy it's almost more about like what corporate life is like it's almost like
part office space yeah like they have to like deal with fucking corporate bullshit and i do hate that
like but like they're making fun of it where it's like if you work really hard you get like a
fucking uh chinese finger trap and like yeah that kind of shit um but even i don't like it though
there's no denying it's like well-made, well-acted.
Everyone else likes it.
So I can say it's a good show.
Which is exactly how I feel about The Bear.
And again, I forget if we talked about this.
The Bear, I feel like the world's playing a trick on me.
I feel like The Bear is like the emperor's new clothes.
I think a lot of people feel like that
who are scared to say it because I tweeted it like the week the bear came out.
I'm always that guy.
I'll do it with Game of Thrones.
I'll say it for people.
If you want to say that you don't like the bear – but here's the thing.
I didn't even think it's worthy of being afraid of.
I don't think it's like more cooler talk.
Oh, yeah.
You're just late.
It was – when it came –, I did season one live.
What episode do people talk about?
What moment do they talk about in the show?
It's like, this show sucked.
You know what?
This show sucks.
I'm not going to go that hard.
The bear sucks.
I didn't like it.
It's the same exact thing.
It's quality acting.
It's just a chaotic fucking restaurant.
This show sucks
it can be boring
the first season is so anxiety inducing
chef, chef, chef, yes chef
shut the fuck up
this show sucks
Clem was like yo did you
finish the season 2 finale
and I was like brother I don't even know if I made it to the season 1 finale
and he was like
oh I thought you were watching it and he was like
that was one of the best episodes
of television I've ever watched and I was like
does the plot radically
change at some point because
Jesus Christ
see I was texting with Dave last night
because Dave tweeted it
I tweeted it when I was in the heat of it and everyone was like
fuck you
I guess because i didn't see
it so suck my dick um but ria texted me on the side and i she talked about on the podcast so i'm
i think when we first talked about this i did not reveal her name but ria was like thank you so much
and so that so um me you ria and dave are all on the same page yeah not that we speak for everybody
but that's a pretty good array of the fan base.
And usually we have a lot of people who agree with us.
I tweeted it months ago, Paz.
I mean, this show.
Not months ago, but whenever this show first came out.
Sucks.
Yeah, I texted Dave last night because Dave had a similar thing.
Again, I love Lip.
I love...
Oh, what does he say?
I'm out on The Bear.
The TV show, The Bear.
Listen, everybody in my grandmother's like,
you gotta watch The Bear.
It's a great show.
Watch The Bear.
Watch The Bear.
I usually like great TV shows.
I like what other people like.
I'm not some curmudgeon.
Like, you know, Game of Thrones, I loved.
I loved Breaking Bad.
Like, Succession, my favorite show of all time.
So I like shows other people like.
I'm super excited.
I'm always hunting, looking, pecking for new shows.
The Bear, I thought I was missing something.
I'm through like five episodes.
It's so slow moving, just bored to tears.
Like it's just inching along like a worm.
Almost reminded me like this old show.
I forget.
I think HBO, like a therapist show that everyone raved about
it like physically made me sick to watch it it was so slow moving um but everyone's like hey
hang in there it's worth the payoff you got to get to episode six season one i guess a little
bit happened in episode six seven a slight pickup again people like watch the season finale so they
just suck me in suck me in well i finished season one the finale. So they're just sucking me in, sucking me in. Well, I finished season one, the finale.
And yes, for the first time in the show, when the show ended, I'm like, oh, I want to watch the next one.
Because the last five minutes of season finale, obviously a lot happened.
But that's what suckers play.
I'm not going to watch eight episodes just so I get five minutes of actual entertainment.
Remind me, that's what White Lotus did.
That's what White Lotus did.
It's so slow, slow, slow, slow.
And then they end it with a bang.
It was like, oh, my God.
No.
Everything.
I don't need.
Yeah.
All right.
Maybe I got guns, bangs, booms, whatever.
But I can't have like seven and a half episodes of slowness. The two things that I think we have happened, the slow burn thing, I think it either started or proliferated with True Detective.
That was the first time I really heard slow burn thrown around a ton.
And something like that kind of is a slow burn.
But it's good while it's happening.
I also don't think like
things there it was not people took that like everything people took it and it diluted to mean
like nothing in a sense in a sense we're like true that was like slow burn where someone is
found fucking right away horrifically murdered in episode one episode four whatever there's an
eight minute gunfight yeah like you would do this fucking gas yeah there are there are clues it's not like uh breaking bad they
see the sloper and bodies fall through the roof in episode two like it's way like that that that's
what i mean is that back then i think the bar was like higher and even things like when you said
it was slow it wasn't and there was just a different i don't know
man i think some of these shows now like people are like rave about or love and i'm like this one
it is it's okay one is is so anxiety i finished it i was i thought it was not great i thought it
was fine it was it was you know whatever i i i wasn't like fuck i wish i didn't watch that it was fine It was You know whatever I wasn't like Fuck I wish I didn't watch that It was TV
And
And then when I saw it
Fucking getting
The nominations
For comedy
I was like
On what planet
Was that a comedy
I hate that
And then
It's like if it's not
Like
Death, murder
Like love
It just falls into comedy
Right
It's not
It is by no means a comedy
And then season two They almost started Leaning into that, like, so they can get comedy again.
Like, in season two, there's some fucking eye-rolling comedy, where it's like, I don't
know if you've started, but, like, he fucking finds the dust in the ceiling and it all falls
on his head, or, like, when they reveal she's pregnant and, like, the wall falls down and,
like, the whole room ponds out.
And, like, it's not great. great pass can i have another water please um and the it wasn't whatever i didn't
i didn't like it and everyone with me i think when i was texting with dave last night first of all
a little offended that i told him i'll be interested to hear your thoughts when you're
done i thought that man i got a text i did not get a text i was, man. I was like,
when we were just scrolling
and I was like,
wait, he watched it?
I thought he didn't get to it.
Here's your thoughts.
I'm such an idiot.
Imagine if he just
sent you the video.
Here's my thoughts.
Which I get,
like,
that I hate
when I'm like,
fuck,
I gotta go text the person
I told him
and talked about this.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But the,
we had,
by no means,
a long conversation, but a longer one than Dave. Dave and I have, like, yeah, yeah. But the, we had by no means a long conversation,
but a longer one
than Dave.
Dave and I have like
three conversations a year.
We probably exchanged
four texts each.
But the,
I think when he kept
saying episode six,
maybe I misremember,
I think,
and I told him as much,
I was like,
I think they're talking
about season six,
episode two.
Because that's what
I was told in episode two
was season six.
Season two was episode six.
Because that's the one with like, Mulaney and Bob Odenkirk
and Jamie Reed Curtis.
And it's a flashback.
And Jon Bernthal in season two, episode six.
Of the bear.
Yeah.
Is, like, the flashback.
Yeah, that must be what Clem was talking about, too.
Thank you very much.
But that's not the season finale.
But, yeah.
But, yeah, everyone talked about it as a masterpiece.
And that was when I finally bailed.
I bailed. I got through half episode 6
and I was like this still isn't doing it for me
I think the show's just not for me
which again I understand
I can see good actors doing it
and I don't know
it's just the story doesn't do it for me
I thought like White Lotus season 1 I thought was horrible
and people were sucking it's dick
White Lotus season 2 I thought was better
like easier
an easier watch and like okay but i you know do you watch euphoria no i don't watch euphoria but
i can understand that it's like it's an amazing show zendaya is an amazing actress the music you
can just tell it looks different like it's just like okay that is like a work of art the viewers
are through the roof but other than that i just feel like you know it's it's it kind of is what we used to say like it used to be like
oh the new netflix show is out and then we got to a point where it was like the new netflix show
sucks yeah i mean that's like a lot of things like just whatever's like making a little bit
of buzz in the latest world of streaming does not mean it's like that good or you know there's just
so much you can't possibly all be that good guys you
know we need like a new scale
of sorts where it's like there's
you should just be like good shows and bad shows
now there's something in between
have you watched Sunny? Have you caught up?
Actually yeah I haven't caught up on Sunny
Sunny is in
an interesting spot and I don't
mean this in a
I don't mean this as a slight towards them
nor towards you because i feel like sunny is like a sketch show almost right now where it's like
they're doing skits kind of really they're like like there was that story in the news about the
guy cheating in chess like six months ago and Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then people on Reddit were jokingly saying,
how could this guy
possibly be cheating?
And one of the people
on Reddit was joking about
maybe this guy put a vibrator
in his ass
and was buzzing.
And that,
people wrote headlines
like that was like
a real thing that happened
to the chess, yeah.
I think that was just
somebody fucking around.
Maybe I'm wrong.
Either way,
they did an episode on that.
That to me feels like
the way you guys do it
where it's like
something happens in the news and you're like, oh, we should do a skit about that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They just do a whole TV show arc about it.
But it feels to me more like they've done so much.
They've done the characters to death.
There's no more to reveal.
But that's kind of always what it's been.
It's been more about not specific stories but larger ideas like gun control.
Yes, yes, yes.
Gang finds a dumpster baby.
I'm not saying it in a bad way.
I'm saying it's almost like that's
the level they've gotten to where it's like
just pick any topic
and how would the gang approach that?
Because the gang is so well established
and so beloved and everybody gets
all the jokes so now you can kind of do
that for everything.
Gang solves the fucking North Korean crisis.
Gang solves...
What's the one with Israel?
Peace in the Middle East or whatever?
It's when...
Gang goes jihad.
Yeah, gang goes jihad.
When the guy's like...
He comes into the bar and he's like,
yeah, I used to live in Israel, but I had to get my family out of there.
I'm like, oh, yeah, well, you got to. And then he leaves and I'm like, what the fuck is going on in Israel?
When they're doing like – I'm like talking like that.
I'm like, that is so perfect. All of the episodes are like – all of them have moments that I'm like, that was really fucking funny.
I wouldn't say – I don't think there's any episode that I would put up against season three, four, six.
Like the really good ones.
Season three is the height of any television I think.
It's really that.
It's up there.
We have a dozen thing coming up that – I don up there. We have a dozen thing coming up that...
I don't know.
We have a dozen thing coming up.
Is that your niche?
Season three, Sonny?
It was...
My niche is all TV.
It's all TVs.
All TV series.
And Jeff was like,
I need a season for every...
Is it three?
And I just went...
I was like, just go three, all of them.
Because I don't
want to specifically
think
but also
usually it's probably
a good bet though
on shows
because I think
season one
you find
you're like
okay this
idea works
yeah
and then
but like
but this character
needs a little
tweaking
season two
needs a little
building
season two
you
season one
you get your
characters
season two
you kind of
refine them
season three
you hit your strides
season four
is great
and then you
get too popular and kind of start your downswing three, you hit your strides. Season four is great. And then you get too popular and it kind of starts you down swing probably.
Right, right.
In Sonny's case, you're halfway.
Yeah.
And I actually don't think – I think Sonny season eight is one of the best seasons.
Well, I still think there's one-off episodes here and there.
They're like, that was an all-time great.
There's moments still that are – I mean, there's a scene.
Charlie's eating nickels in one of them.
That actually, that episode is amazing.
Dennis, it's something about like trying to like swim with the big fish. Actually, the most recent season is funny when they're all in Ireland.
I thought it was fucking unbelievable.
They're doing different things.
That was, you know, the dance, the Ireland.
These are like, we're going to try to like challenge ourselves almost.
The episode with Dennis and everybody trying to impress.
Oh, it's the episode with Aaron Paul and Frank Cranston.
That's a classic.
Aaron Paul and Frank Cranston are amazing in it.
Dennis and Mac trying to impress them,
thinking that Aaron Paul is Malcolm in the Middle.
The whole episode, they think they're going to meet malcolm in the dad
from malcolm in the middle and malcolm and it's actually breaking bad and uh and charlie and
they're trying to pitch a new drink called nickel schlager where instead of gold it has nickels in
it so charlie is just drinking nickels and he's like oh my stomach and he's puking everywhere
and he's like they're like what's wrong with you he's like i've been my stomach. And he's puking everywhere. And he's like, they're like, what's wrong with you?
He's like, I've been puking all day on account of the nickels.
And then they're like, why are you drinking nickels?
He goes, it's because of my Schlager play.
And when he said Schlager play, I was in hysterics.
So that one, Max dressed like Michael Jordan from the 90s, like great, great.
That's great.
The rest of them are like,
I can't even judge it.
It's just like you guys are so on another level that the way I judge your episodes is different.
They're just so fucking impressive.
It really is unbelievable.
Also, quickly to wrap up,
some other big things going on on TV.
Hijack is also Apple TV, I think.
Hijack's Apple TV.
Hijack's fun.
It's a plain hijack.
Yeah.
When I first saw a series about a hijack,
I was like, that's a movie.
Right.
Like, you gotta stretch this out.
But they're doing good.
I love Idris Elba.
Yeah.
I think there is some payoff coming.
It's like who they are and what's going on and shit.
I enjoy it.
I got eyes on The Boyfriend. The Boyfriend. Id are and what's going on and shit. I enjoy it. I got eyes on the boyfriend.
The boyfriend. The Idris Elba's wife's
boyfriend. Oh, the guy
looking it up. Yeah. Yeah, I could see that.
I could see that.
That's fun. Silo on
Apple TV is cool. If you've ever seen
Snowpiercer, it's
instead of a train, they live in a silo.
But it's the same sort of idea. That is
very cool. I'm watching a TNT show.
It's called The Lazarus Effect.
It's actually a BBC show.
No, the other one, Sky.
It's at least on TNT,
like on demand.
I don't know if it's on
their regular channel,
but it's like a sci-fi idea
that there's a government agency
that can turn back time
to stop
extinction level
events from happening.
And the idea is like...
There's been like six
things throughout history that have
required them to rewind time.
But you...
By the way, that's Indiana Jones.
Oh yeah? Then I'm going gonna like it that that that makes sense that sounds awesome i did you like it i haven't seen it yet i like
told myself i was i'm gonna go i love that shit i was like i'm gonna go opening day i never do
i'm a big indie guy um the first half hour is like watching a cartoon in what sense it's like watching a cartoon. In what sense? It's like it's all CG'd and he's got fucking reverse aging.
It's actually pretty good.
It's not as bad as it was.
He has de-aged enough in real life.
They should have just let him do it.
Bro, when they show the cut to real life, which is not 2023, obviously, it's like 19.
They just landed on the moon.
So 1960 something.
Nine.
Nine. He's like
an old drunk. He's waking up
in his fucking Lazy Boy.
Harrison Ford
is Jack
City.
Pass Google. See if you can get
the Harrison Ford
Indiana Jones shirtless.
Because he's also been doing Ripped. 1823 whatever that one is yeah so he's probably been playing a fucking you know
you know what is really funny when you go back and look at 80s movie stars it's like it's it's
they're regular ass dudes oh yeah that was in the movie in the documentary bigger faster stronger
they talk about that. How, like...
You look at Bruce Willis in Die Hard.
He's, like, a regular fucking guy.
Yeah.
The...
It's all put, like, old or something like that.
It's, like...
He's not de-aged.
It's just Harrison Ford now.
Wait.
So you're saying in the movie he's jacked?
Or you're saying this is an old picture?
No, I'm saying, like, in the movie he's jacked.
Yeah, yeah.
Currently, like the new one.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So you need, like, 2023 Harrison Ford.
Yeah.
Yeah, I would say he's probably...
I bet you he's bigger now than he was then.
Because he's probably, like, you know,
shooting roids with the rest of these fucks
i can't find it but he no but i mean that's yeah he's like 80 isn't he like it's crazy that he
even did the movie remember he broke his leg they needed to like stop shooting he broke bones during
the middle of it he does this thing where he's like kind of rolling out of the lazy boy kind of
like has like one like arm like this he's those riblets yeah the motherfucker's got obliques yeah that's true it's fucking crazy wild
he's and then it's like the first thing that comes back from like the cart again it's not cartoon
there's like there's real actors in it uh but it's just it's so cg'd uh but i thought i thought the
last hour hour and a half whatever it was great i think it's a slow start? It's not even slow, it's just like,
it's so CG.
They only made one other,
they made the three.
And then one.
And then this.
I would have thought that the Shia LaBeouf one was like
two, maybe three, the way
in my mind it's like, oh, they ruined this
series. There's one?
Yeah.
They didn't do one without him or anything like that? this series. There's one? Yeah. It's like, all right, so they just had one bad episode.
They didn't do one
without him
or anything like that?
Mm-mm.
I heard Spielberg
watch this and said,
like,
wow,
I thought I was the only one
who could do this series.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Or is it Lucas?
Whoever it was.
I think it's Spielberg,
yeah.
It was like,
he nailed it
and, like,
you know,
I thought it was really good.
Yeah.
I love Mads Mikkelsen, too, who plays the bad guy.
Yeah, he is great.
Cool.
So that was the movie.
Oh, and a lot of this came about because I was talking about Covenant.
Covenant is...
I got from Dave as well.
Dave was raving about it the other day.
He was like, this is the best movie I've ever seen.
I was like, what?
I've never even heard of this.
Jake Gyllenhaal in a Guy Ritchie film about war?
I legit don't think I even knew it existed.
I knew about it.
I haven't gotten to it.
I saw commercials or anything.
And it bombed.
$55 million budget.
$21 million at the box office,
and I only watched it because of Dave,
and I thought it was fucking great.
Like, edge of your seat type of...
I think it's probably pretty real.
It's about interpreters in Afghanistan
and how they get, like, fucked over,
which I think is a real thing.
And then the actual gunfights
and, you know, getting through
the Taliban-infested afghanistan
hills are probably maybe not so real i don't know but shit was fire yeah shit was fire and i was
trying to think of the best flops ever i didn't know fight club like bomb i saw that fight club
bombed apparently like one of the worst all time sh Shawshank only made like $20 million in the box office.
A bunch of comedies did like Big Lebowski,
Office Space,
but those make sense
because those are like the cult classics,
you know?
I could see Shawshank being like,
I don't know,
this seems like a depressing ass movie,
but fuck that.
But I think all of those made like,
broke even,
made a million.
This is like a $30 million bomb.
Unless it somehow kills it in streaming and makes up for it.
Nothing's ever done.
Yeah, I don't think that's even possible.
I would probably put it up there with, like, the best bomb I've ever seen.
Best flop ever.
I like watching past Google things
so I can just
I can just critique
in my head
that's not how you
Google that
yeah that's
yeah Google
biggest box office
flops
no these are
going to be
bad movies
it's going to be
come on Pat
the best
it's going to be
the best
the best movies
of all time
that flopped
in the box office
yeah
it's not yet to work
because those are
just going to be
movies that suck
high budget movies
that weren't good come on the you had it in the box office. Yeah. It's not yet to work. Because those are just going to be movies that suck. High budget movies
that weren't good.
Come on.
The last one.
But you had it.
You had the auto-filling.
You didn't fucking take it.
Yeah, Babylon was on
a lot of lists.
I haven't seen that.
I haven't seen that.
This is, I think,
the exact list I looked at.
And if you look at this,
it's still a lot of movies
that you're like,
I don't know what that is.
That's a weird one.
They're like the Oscar bases.
Yeah. So the fact that it just a kind of an action movie like a good
plot is cool you know yeah the uh the uh fucking i saw the tweet that what's it what's the flash
that shit bombs it's gonna end with less
than Green Lantern.
Dude, I could've told you that though. Domestically,
I think. This is why people need to fucking
Oh, Longshot was a great one.
This is why people need to hire me
and us for this shit.
Like, I could've
told you probably several
movies ago that Marvel
was cooked.
They're just figuring it out now.
DC. Okay.
Superhero movies.
But I knew there was
enough buzz about
Doctor Strange
that they were going to make that movie.
And some of these things you
needed to see through. I could have told you
that the flash with that fucking goddamn guy
who was only in the news because he assaults people or whatever.
I mean, that had no shot.
No fucking shot.
I was going to see it because there's so much buzz about it.
I think we got a pull quote from Tom Cruise being like,
it's everything you want in action.
Oh, maybe I'm wrong because I didn't hear anything.
I was like the fucking –
Oh, no.
It had like – it was –
A lot of us.
Before coming out, yeah, it was like –
So did it have a good big weekend and then no –
It had a –
That's almost the worst.
I think it had an acceptable opening weekend but one that was probably like –
You get no return.
People are going to get no word of mouth.
Yeah.
That's almost the worst thing that can happen.
I think all the word of mouth was that was incredibly overhyped yeah like not not bad i
don't even say it was bad but i think everyone was like because the hype coming into it was like
the greatest like again like tom cruise requested to see it his comment was like it's everything you
want an action movie which is a pretty benign comment after like you gotta say something when
you request to see it yeah and you can't be like
well i wish i didn't waste my time on that yeah um yeah yeah that's true and there was like like
the flat i think when because because there was at least internet rumors about just not even putting
it out because of everything that yeah whatever they get into uh what's their name fucking
ezra miller yeah um and uh they they were like no it's so good
it was never even considered not putting it out
blah blah blah blah
and everyone saw it and was like it's fine
it's whatever
maybe and then it's just the worst timing of all
because maybe if that was like a few years ago
and everyone was like had
superhero fever
but what are the
they have great a great great movie
somebody put out an article the other day i think it was igers bob igers quote was like
disney uh star wars and we make less and marvel we're gonna make less like thank god yeah like
five years too late because those would be at least like a little
more hype if you get like one every couple years or something like that it's just like you just
don't feel i don't feel like you have to see any of these anymore no you know i haven't seen any
since and it really is just never going to work until you get like the core back you know if you're
going to do iron man thor spider-man-Man, Captain America, that's it.
The rest are like good spin-off bit characters and shit, not full movies.
Okay, boys, we have time.
Let's do it.
Hang on.
I'm going to pee.
Three?
Two.
Well, three and now we're going to talk.
Yeah.
I have peed zero times.
Now, I could pee right now if I needed to.
I could pee, but now I'm self-conscious about doing it, so I'm going to hold it.
I mean, you guys haven't gone fucking three times yet.
You're allowed to go.
I've gone twice.
Huh?
I've gone twice.
Maybe you got a little bitch boy bladder.
Here you go.
I'll just...
Wow.
Wow.
Wow!
Wow.
That was the most...
You were up there doing the lumbada,
twiddling around and shit, doing a dance move.
That was like a TikTok.
Did you get that?
Oh, Danny!
Are you recording yourself right now?
Why don't you have the camera on you?
I do, but I'm not going to...
I didn't know I was going to do that.
But it still should have been on, right?
It's on.
It's on technically, but that's all.
I have to go get the stems.
That's not going to go in the video.
I'm not going to do that.
I'm just not going to do it.
You're just not going to put it in.
My job is not doing it.
Unreal.
You're going to do a gang gang video.
Okay.
You either have to put that video in or do a gang gang video.
Honestly, again, the effort, I'll do a gang gang video. Okay.
You'll make money from the gang gang video too.
So that's worth it.
You have to do, you have to do like a full, how long do those girls go for?
Hours.
So people stop paying.
I don't fully understand what gang gang video is.
Yeah, so you got to watch it.
You got to figure out exactly what it is.
You have to have like followers.
Like they're obviously not going to pay you money.
Uh, maybe some weirdos will. no they definitely let me watch let me watch like to see what i'm getting myself into they definitely will yeah yeah like it'll be more
like you can just send jackie emojis and do they know do they do they tell you is there like a key
yeah yeah for what what they each read like jackie's just refusing to do her job again.
She did something funny,
and I was like,
oh, that'll be funny.
She's like,
oh, I'm not putting it on the show.
It's too much effort.
The camera wasn't on me,
so then in order to get the camera,
I have to take the stems,
and I have to put the whole thing,
and I have to upload it.
It's a bunch of gigabytes,
and then I have to synchronize the audio.
It's what her job is.
And she goes,
I'm not going to do that. That's just not going to be in the episode. It's what her job is. And she goes, I'm not going to do that.
That's just not going to be in the episode.
I was like, you leave me with no choice.
So she asked to do, I said, you can either put that in the episode,
or you can do it with a gang-gang popcorn video.
And the whole time we've been talking, the camera's not been on me.
It's crazy.
Because she said, she was like, I'm going to pee too.
Wait, no, I'm not.
Wait, no, I think I am.
Wait, no, I'm not.
She's like four times.
And we're just spinning around in a circle.
And then she was just like, no, I'm not going to put that in. Looked me right not she's like four times and she was just like no I'm not gonna put that in look at me right in the eye she goes oh it's just too much work I'm not
and I can't do anything I'm powerless I would like to be like what the fuck I just can't she's just
like okay you can put it in yourself if you want it in you. Put it in you. Be my guest.
All right.
Okay.
Play the voicemails.
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winners of the best voicemail get the care package okay i have two things first First one wasn't going to say, but then I could really use some pirate water.
Um, Kevin, you broke up my engagement and I just want to say, like, I play the podcast around the
house. Obviously we live together. Um, everything was great. We went to Europe. Uh, and then you're
always preaching. Hey, why get married in yours? I'm 24. He's 27.
And every message is like, you're an idiot.
Don't get married in your 20s.
That's terrible.
So guess what?
I'm not getting married in my 20s.
He broke up with me five days before my dress came in.
So if you could also manifest someone buying my dress would be incredible second thing you guys were talking on the podcast um the other day about like jackie was mentioning how women are more emotional and
like fighting and stuff and i read harvard paper that was recently published and they like have not
been doing uh neurology research on female mice because they were nervous.
All the hormones and everything were going to mess up the research.
Big thing in research as a whole.
And then this study just came out and they're like, actually, female mice brains are more stable in a certain space than male mice.
And we should have just been studying them all along if you're gonna pick
one gender or the other and also men's hormonal cycle is 24 hours 24 hours women are so predictable
you know what time of the month is our time of the month and we're going to be a mess men you
change throughout the day 24 hours all day you get so angry that's just wait miss me with that okay a lot to undress first of
all back here happy with where that went yeah i was like oh i'm going back to screening these
we've been on a hot streak where everyone i just picked is good, but going back to screen enemies. Oh my god.
I didn't know. I was like,
where is it? Was there any part of you that was like, hmm?
Because let me tell
you who would have that part of them.
I don't
think so.
You look like my touch.
If there is a girl
That I would've fucked while she was married
It would look like you
It would look like you
Imagine if she was like
Yeah so Kevin
Like you
You broke up my engagement
Like
You fucked me
And I was
I didn't tell you
But I was engaged
And he found out
And
And I'm pregnant, by the way.
There was no – I've never fucked anybody who was married.
So I know – there was no part of me like that.
But there was a part of me that was like, did we DM or sex or something?
Because, again, you look like that person.
I mean –
Yes. How about that? Yes. You look like that person who – Well, I mean – Well, I mean –
Yes.
How about that?
Yes.
You fucking prude.
My god.
You are audacious.
Bro, I mean when I get Jonah Hill, it's going to be –
Not for like controlling shit like that.
Just for like Jesus Christ.
I think that's been made officially illegal enough that people aren't doing that, right?
These days.
I don't know about text.
Pics.
You're splashing pickies?
All of that shit.
Pics!
I know that the texts aren't, but I feel like it's kind of become like a package thing where at least like – at least everybody sort of shames the person too.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know?
Like there's at least enough of a – there was a moment there during time where everybody who did that kind of got like praised, you know?
And I think a lot of times people are just like, that's fucked up, you know?
Yeah.
Anyway, six hot.
I didn't bring over marriage.
Whatever.
I mean, you're welcome.'s 24 that's crazy yeah like
when i say don't get married in your 20s it's usually like 29 that i'm talking about it's
definitely for 24 he's 27 that's kind of in that range of like you're i think you're crazy and
you're young but it's not like you should get should get married if you're 24, if you live in a swing state.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I mean, maybe, you know, I don't know your life.
Sometimes it does make sense.
We're just like, I live in this little one stoplight town,
and this is all I have, whatever.
But I don't know.
It's not an only thing.
It's going to be fine.
But this also means that she probably was engaged for a little while
she probably got like engaged like 23 yeah that's fucking nuts that's probably the guy
if you're gonna have your bachelor party like a senior frogs yeah come on dude if i was 27
i think if you're like 27 and up and you're engaged like a 23 year old that's almost like
on you to be like you're too young like don't do this you know i mean like you're engaged to like a 23-year-old, that's almost like on you to be like,
you're too young.
Like, don't do this.
You know what I mean?
You're like controlling.
That's like weird.
I don't know.
I'd be like, you need to live a little more before.
Even if I do want to marry you,
that's fucking bizarre.
By the way, speaking of bachelorette parties real quick,
the most,
I don't know if it's feminist or misogynistic thing.
I just remember my mom was in Amsterdam.
It's a KC radio.
Coin flip.
We saw a bachelorette party.
And she goes, God, so fucking lame.
And I was like, it's just like, it's just a bachelorette party.
It's like, guys do it too.
She's like, guys can do it.
They're fucking idiots.
Women shouldn't do this shit.
It's so true though it's like you know and you know what i i actually i i think it's official i think it's been coming for a long time and it
it it my uh inspiration for this was the dog walk the other day they were doing something on
bachelor parties and the clip was those guys just being like i just want
to like hang out with my buddies and play pool basketball yeah i think it's official put it in
the books that it's just about like hanging out with the dudes and i think that's an age thing
and i i actually i think if you're excited about your bachelor party, you shouldn't get married.
I think that's a better thing than age.
I think you should get married if you're kind of dreading your bachelor party.
Like, oh, fuck.
Yeah.
They've always said it's for the other guy.
That guy who's on it is either married for a long time or not married.
Yes.
I can definitely see that.
I'm just saying that, like like I think there was a time – I remember writing blogs being like this stupid fucking like we're going to play capture the flag and we're going to like paintball.
Like the pendulum was like we're going to like fuck hookers and do blow.
And then the pendulum went so far the other way that I was like let's get back to like partying and like regular shit because i don't want to like play these like wacky zany games and activities and shit and i think we finally settled in the middle where it's like i want to just go somewhere where everyone can like sit
in a pool or at a bar at a table could just be in a fucking field for all I care and just come up with the inside jokes and the clowning.
It's almost like the activities that you do
are only to put yourselves in position
where jokes can occur and funny things can happen
and you can come up with these memories.
I said my favorite part of the bachelor party these days
is the text chain or email chain that might come out of it because it's like you you know the the shit that you're talking about
for weeks to come afterwards i think that most people have settled on i just want to hang out
with the dudes and that might be an age thing because it's so infrequent i remember my dad
was my uncle's best man and like planned his bachelor party my uncle got married later in life
and they just went to the vineyard.
We had a house out there at the time and just stayed at our house
and went shark fishing.
I was like,
this is the lamest fucking thing.
And now I'm like,
dude, that would be so dope.
But you think that even,
I guess, yeah,
I guess young guys are still looking to party
and all that shit.
But I think that,
I think every age at this point might know
that it's all about the hang and not the club or the girls or the drugs or whatever.
It's just – I mean you always come out of it with like this guy has got a new nickname and this guy got a whole new story.
And like remember this, remember that.
That is the point of bachelor parties.
And probably always has been.
But we just kind of got lost in it.
Maybe you're right.
Maybe you don't realize that until you're older.
But I think the sooner you realize that and execute that, the better.
That's what the bachelor party is about.
Anyway.
Buy this girl's dress.
I'll buy your dress.
The cost approved like uh pending approval
of the cost are you serious oh okay i'm like what i had some thinking through this i'm like
that'd be funny the what would i do with like a how much does the dress call like two grand
they well that's the thing they can range from like you know two grand to like 20 grand you know so i'm like well that's what i was thinking that's what i was
thinking if like i need to find some way to justify a couple thousand dollars worth of value yeah
i've got some money to play with not like that kind of money finally make this night office nice
just have a dress maybe maybe i'll buy that is how you make cool shit you just acquire random things
i will maybe i'll buy my couches on fucking maybe i'll buy the dress and make jackie wear it while
she does gang gang videos um all that shit she said about female mice i don't know shut up bitch
oh oh yeah i forgot about that that actually that it's kind
of funny to me that wait if we're taking her at face value that scientists were like we can't
even use female mice they're so fucking quick chicks are so fucking crazy we're not even gonna
look at female mice brains it's actually the perfect example of how men and women interact
where because most scientists are going to be men at least still i think it's changing probably
changing a little bit but i think a majority of scientists i would venture to guess the men who
like we can't fucking use female mice the people who the scientists who can't use female mice
are men yeah but that's the perfect like explanation of how men and women interact
where it's like we can't we can't fucking do that
and then you do it like oh it's totally normal it's fine absolutely fine we should have been
doing this the whole time like i can't i can't i can't she can't find out about that and then
like oh she doesn't care it's good like that is the the worry that we can't interact with women
far great far outweighs when it's like oh wait never mind she's
just normal i will say to like to answer her point though like it's the eye test what you're just
gonna tell me that guys are crazier than girls it's just not true come on we just know it's not
true and i and and about the hormones guys are on it like all the time and girls you know listen
even girls know this i see girls complaining about all the time it's like you have
your your pre-week and then you have the week of and then the next week you're like recovering from
it and then it starts all over again you bitches are on some sort of level with your period where
you're annoying about it 30 days a month i was gonna say i don't know this is an argument for
or against that i really don't but like never and
i think i've said this before never once in my life have i interacted with a woman and been like
she's on her period right now like i can never ever tell i don't know if that's my idiocy or if
that's like i've i for sure have have i've done that i i could be the people i deal with are
usually always volatile i think it's one thing if you're
if you're like like there are assholes like we're on your period it's like no i'm just like calling
you out and like cheating on me yeah it's like something like very justified like what do you
want your period it's more like there are times where like i i've been in in like a conversation
or something where like all of a sudden it's intensely emotional and like
crying and i'm like it's usually when i'm like how the fuck is this that big of a deal right now
and then the man i'm so sorry i'm here i'm like oh okay there it is i i don't realize it in the
moment but usually i'm like oh yeah that for sure tracks well i was i was dating this girl
and i was like at dinner she's like what's wrong i was like I don't know I'm just like feeling really like
I'm just like down today
She's like oh it's probably because I'm on my period
And it rubs off on guys
Like if you spend enough time together
Your cycles sink
And the guy
This is not true
She was just like
For like months I believe
That like when she got her period
My
You don't
You don't have a cycle
Yeah
It's true for girls
It's not true for No it's cycle it's true for girls it's not true for guys
it's true for guys
but not that you're not cycling up
it's that your girlfriend's being a bitch
and you're fighting
I was so naive
that I blamed it
her hormones rubbed off
you could say that John rubs off
on people
let's be happy and then they want to kill themselves in six months.
Yeah, your crankiness coincides with my crankiness because I purposely make your life a mess.
But you don't have any sort of cycle going on, bro.
I was fully convinced it was scientific.
I was like, that makes sense.
I was like, though, my girlfriend, I'm in a bad mood today.
She's in a bad mood, I'm in a bad mood today she's in a bad mood I'm in a bad mood
yeah like
fucking solidarity man
no
she just put you
in a bad mood
what's up everyone
so I was listening
to an episode
from weeks or months ago
about something about
someone breaking their dick
or you know
they're kind of
talking about how does it happen or something and essentially the same thing happened to me when i
was like 16 or 17 um i was having sex and essentially the person backed up and i went forward
and immediately my um dick like hit the edge and just like broke the tip of my dick and it was
blood everywhere and like your dick gets
super small because obviously you lose all the blood right away and i was too afraid to essentially
go to the doctor or anything because i just didn't really know what to expect of what would happen in
terms of my parents finding out or anyone else and so i for the next two months i essentially just
stuffed paper towels into my pants when i would go to school um because it would bleed like all the time for the most part um and even the point was again with the person and while they were
going down on me i like started bleeding again like in their mouth so it was a whole ordeal
and then during a basketball game i was wearing white shorts and in the middle of the game i
started bleeding and to come up with an excuse because people started noticing these things and hearing the story was that I said that my dick got caught on my zipper in my pants.
And then my pants zipper got stuck in the garage door.
And when the garage door went off or went up, it broke the tip of my dick.
So my question is what's the stupidest excuse or story you've come up with?
You said something about a garage door?
Yeah, when it got stuck in the garage door and when the garage door went off or went up.
Go back again.
And to come up with an excuse,
because people started noticing these things
and hearing the story,
was that I said that my dick got caught on my zipper
in my pants,
and then the pants zipper got stuck on the garage door,
and when the garage door went off,
it went up and broke the tip of my dick.
So my question is,
what's the stupidest excuse or story
you've come up with something
that either didn't need to be said? That's the stupidest excuse I've ever heard come up with something that either didn't need to be said
or that's the stupidest excuse
I've ever heard in my life.
So let me know.
Bro, bro, bro.
Wrote a cartoon in his head.
Your pants zipper
got caught in the garage door.
So I think I caught my zipper
and my pants got caught
in the garage door.
Next thing you know,
I'm hanging over the fucking car.
What are you talking about? The zipper would have been enough. You could have just said I got caught in the zipper door. Next thing you know, I'm hanging over the fucking car. What are you talking about?
The zipper would have been enough.
You could have just said I got caught in the zipper.
You understand that best lies are based in realism, right?
I'm hanging from the door.
Not Rick and Morty episodes.
What the fuck are you talking about?
By the way, quick joke.
That guy wouldn't be allowed to play high school basketball in Texas.
This chick's kicking our ass First of all
Breaking your dick
Is one of the few things
That really makes me go like
Yeah
It hurts my body
Having that happen at 16, 17
Is like
That like ruined that guy Like I wouldn't If you told me that That guy like abuses that that that that like ruined that guy like like i wouldn't if you
told me that that guy like abuses people i'd be like well you know he you know he went through
this traumatic experience at such a young age i was thinking about that at the other day i forget
why like we don't recognize i think enough that the most powerful people in the world at least in the future
are children
like I was
thinking of when I raised my hand
once in elementary school
and someone was like that was so dumb
and I was like
I was like okay I'll never raise my hand again
and like
that's that
that altered the complete trajectory of my life I never raise my hand again. That's that. That altered the complete trajectory of my life.
Yes, yes.
I never asked the question again.
I never made it known that I didn't completely understand something.
Yep.
I could have been a much smarter, different person if one person, one time.
Just didn't say that to you.
It completely changed who I was.
Dude, I had a screaming match with Keegan this weekend
about drawing
a strawberry.
We do this thing,
you watch a YouTube video and you draw
along with it. And Shay
is really good at it,
a couple years ahead of him, and he
was struggling right off the bat. And he was like,
fuck this. I'm not doing this.
I'm not. I I hate it I'm bad
at it it's not working and
I was like come on like you gotta do it you gotta
do it and he wouldn't do it
and I started like
giving him examples I was like you know
the first time you did martial arts
you left and you said I'm never doing that again
I hate it I'm not good at it and now look at you
you're breaking boards and all that and he goes
scream to your streaming I'm good at martial arts I'm not good at it and now look at you you're breaking boards and all that he goes scream to your streaming he's like i'm good at martial arts i'm not good at drawing
strawberries and i am screaming at him i'm like we're doing another one i was like i don't care
like it's you you can do it you have to believe in yourself and we're drawing a strawberry
and he's like no i can't do it, Dad.
I'm literally screaming at each other like two dudes would, not like a father and son.
I'm just like, if you're going to give up on things, I was like, this is an important moment in your life.
I was like, you're so hard on yourself and you want to give up on things.
I can't draw a strawberry.
And then he couldn't do it.
He got through the first step and was like
okay I'm good at this I like this
you fucking asshole
so now I have
I sat them both down and I was like
we have a code word now it's called
strawberries and I'm like next time
you're afraid to go up to the plate
next time you're afraid to do the balance beam
you have a
presentation at school like whatever you're gonna do it you're gonna to do the balance beam you have a presentation at school
like whatever you're gonna do it you're gonna be fine i'm gonna tell you strawberries and and i'm
and i'm like because who fucking knows if you have a moment like that like your life is you could just
be like i'm never all right i'm never drawing the strawberry i'm never gonna try anything ever again
and i was like how do, how do you stop that?
How do you parent that?
There's going to be a million of those instances.
Yeah, it's impossible because some kid is going to be able to be like, you're bad at that.
And you go, okay, never going to.
Why would I ever do that?
I could be a fucking horse girl right now.
I could be fucking.
Yeah.
Crazy.
The butterfly effect. It was literally like i'd never asked the question ever
again ever again and then and then fucking 25 years later i'm tweeting out hey why is it called
a d-bag i learned how to use my stupidity i didn't get any smarter i learned how to use my stupidity. I didn't get any smarter. I learned how to use the stupidity.
I harness my stupidity for good.
For good.
But like if I didn't figure out how to work with my stupidity.
You'd be in a ditch.
You'd be in a gutter. I'd be like – I don't know.
I just never ask the question.
You actually are the – like I used to say Dave is the dumbest man, the dumbest millionaire of all time.
You might be the most successful dumb person ever in that regard.
Your level of stupidity.
Never.
It's not stupidity.
It's your level of like that kind of shit.
It's just like, I don't know.
I'm just never going to try or say anything ever again.
And but like, look where you are.
Most people like that end up like shooting up the school.
You're fucking just hanging out here. You know, be worse our last voicemail by the way dude
just for the record as dumb as i was and continue to be if my dick bled for three weeks oh i would
talk to somebody we didn't even finish the question. Yo, that is so, that was so perfect.
When you are 16, 17, 15, in that range,
when you're so afraid of just telling your parents things,
that you would let your dick bleed for days on end.
Like, bro, just tell your parents that you lost your virginity
and it didn't go well,
and they'll help you from stopping your dick bleeding out all day, every day.
Changing your shorts at halftime because your dick's bleeding through our hoops.
Your parents have been running through the bounty rolls at home.
They're like, what the hell is going on?
You're like, why is there no more paper towel?
You're fucking wrapping that shit up like a mummy.
I'm somebody who has wrapped their dick in paper towels before
because they were scared to tell
their parents that their dick was bleeding.
It was a zipper situation. Didn't get caught in the garage door.
Didn't get caught in the zipper.
Didn't get lifted off the ground by the
garage door.
And it was. I did give it a wrap.
It was actually made with paper towels.
Toilet paper, not paper towels.
You caught the shaft or the ball?
Shaft.
Right at the base, I, the bat wing of it.
Oh, on the underside.
Yeah.
I think I was, like, just pulling it out.
Was your dick up?
I don't know.
Now that I say it, I don't understand how it even happened.
But, like.
Must be doing the waistband tuck sort of thing.
Yeah, maybe that.
I don't know.
I don't know why.
Zipping up your pants with a boner.
Because I don't take the whole thing out.
Actually, my buddy
the other day
for the first time
told me.
I love how you...
He takes the whole thing out.
Dicking balls?
Yeah.
Through the zipper?
Yeah, when he takes a piss.
Yeah, some people do that.
No, I just...
I think you have to have
a bigger dick for that.
Really?
If I were to put my balls
out with my dick,
it would be...
It would be...
He said that like a puppy dog
going, like, really?
If I had balls
in the way of my dick,
I don't think
the pee would be an easy situation.
Because my dick
would be almost propped up by my balls a little bit, you know?
So when I take my dicky balls out of my...
I totally do that too.
When I have...
I totally do that too Don't you think
It's a good thing I'm in a good mood
Don't you think though
You know what I'm saying
It would almost like
It would be like pointed up almost
Yeah
Or even if you have that hand over
It would be like
I'd have to push it down
To get into the toilet
To go with the stupidity,
I might have just tried
to zip it up
while it was still out.
That's not on the problem.
Yeah, yeah,
that actually makes sense
because you,
yeah,
that knew at the bottom of it.
The...
But imagine your,
dude,
your dick bleeding.
First of all,
wearing white shorts
is a little suspect.
You ever wear white shorts
to play ball?
I never wore white shorts.
I think,
I pictured that he was...
A uniform?
Yeah,
but also, I don't think it's was a uniform yeah but also I don't think
it's crazy to wear white shorts
I don't think I've ever
played in basketball
but like
it's a little weird
I guess uniforms are
but
I never wore like white
whatever
anyway
if you're playing ball
and you're just like
all of a sudden like
and it's like
seeping into your shorts
that's a lot of fucking blood
that's a problem that's not like oh shit
something uncomfortable you look and there's like a little bit it's like if you need to change your
shorts because of blood i'm surprised you're not like passing out that's a catastrophe and
obviously this happened like for months like it wasn't just like that week right like it kept
going on like he broke his dick having sex and then many things after that where he just constantly bled out of the dick
no we have one more voicemail you have to sit through this one you have to sit through this
we'll play it we'll end the blood talk. I can't believe this.
I have a question for you here.
What is one of the funniest
or weirdest drunk
tells that somebody you know
has? I mean, I would say when John
has to piss every 45 seconds, but he doesn't when he's
sober. One, two,
three, seven, eight, too many bourbons.
He will really drive
down everyone's throat how much soul Chris Stapleton
has.
Most of the time, my parents will be talking, drinking, playing games, whatever.
Music's almost always on in the background.
More times than not, a Chris Stapleton Pandora station.
And the music will suddenly get louder, and my dad will tell everybody to be quiet and
just listen to him sing and say how much soul he has in me.
He'll get it like, God, man, he's got soul.
He'll get into it.
So, yeah, that's his tell.
Anything crazy that anybody you know has like that?
Mine's not crazy.
It's also my dad.
My dad, no, seriously.
My dad says no, seriously. My dad says no, seriously.
All the time.
Yeah.
But like –
I remember just like driving him home from games and stuff.
It was like when I was 16.
When he was drunk.
That was the designated drive where he'd have a few beers.
Oh, I thought you meant your games for some reason.
First thing I thought of was like –
You go to the Pat's Brew and shit like that.
And it's just like just everything.
Because when someone's drunk and you're sober, you're kind of like, ha, ha, ha.
You give them a courtesy laugh.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, seriously.
No, seriously.
Yeah, I see.
He's a big no seriously guy.
I try not to call people on that though because I know that I do those things.
Not even drunk.
I just find these crutches i the other day i said apparently i might in a one minute video like seven times because i you
know you do it like i do it and delete it and then splice it and i'm like oh i didn't realize
i said it both those times so i'll just say it back to back but i said apparently that's my way
of like introducing part of the news you know i'll be like so apparently like she shot him in
the head right and then the next slide is like apparently she was you know not even the nanny
it was blah blah and apparently apparently shut the fuck up man so i try to just like let people
slide on that stuff there's a lot of my friends have a lot of physical drunk tells like i'm like
oh you're drunk your eyes you're gone yeah like eyes, you're gone. Like, you're – Mine and my eyes.
Text and eyes.
When John looks at his phone like this close.
When you hear this from Jackie.
Oh, yeah.
Or when she snorts like a dragon.
But that's a funny one, though.
Like, when you know.
It's like, oh, here we go.
We're going to get, like, a dissertation on whatever. That's a like a dissertation whatever yeah like the stapleton's on dad's drunk i got a buddy talking about his moving to costa
rica oh i well it's again these aren't drunk things they're just my asshole friends like i
got a friend who just forever constantly said i'm gonna learn mandarin and move to china
and then he would like go get rosetta stone i'm doing it i'm doing it and then he just all he knows how to say is like nihao nihao we should whoa shirley mao it's like
you love one fucking sentence in mandarin get out of here um but yeah that's a good one i bet
there's a lot of funny ones we can have everybody tweet we can crowdsource that one what's your
what's your the funniest drunk tell that you or someone else you know has
because there's
I bet there's a lot of those
out there.
All right.
No interview today.
John's going to go pee.
I'm going to do more cocaine.
Right now
the leader in the clubhouse
is probably dick guy.
Dress girl.
Oh, best.
Oh, dress girl.
Come on.
She's got the sympathy factor.
No, but also
that's just the memory.
I mean, that was
if you're going to remember
a voicemail from that the hot girl breaking up the marriage. Yeah. No, but also that's just the memory. I mean, that was – if you're going to remember a voicemail from that, the hot girl breaking up the marriage.
Yeah.
Actually, the question itself or the actual voicemail itself kind of sucked though.
I think it's a toss-up.
We have two in the running right now.
Send in your voicemails.
Case Pirate Water, merch, the whole shebang.
I believe it comes in a little bit of a chest.
We should leave that up to a vote every year, every episode.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Unless there's like – we can make the executive decision, but we'll just put up a three-person poll and the people vote.
Yeah, there'll be a poll.
I think they both get on the poll.
Whoever gets the voicemail of the week gets the Pirate Water merch and care package sent to them.
So send your voicemails in.
If you go to the KFC Radio social media, there will be a link where you can submit your video.
You can either show your face, not show your face.
It doesn't matter.
Our tickets are available as well.
Tickets for right now in November and a couple things in the fall.
And there's a store.
There's a sale in the store coming up.
No, it's August 1st.
Okay.
Well, we've got a sale in the store coming up in August.
Watch Out of Order
tomorrow night
if you're listening
to this on Tuesday.
Episode 5.
Very funny stuff.
It's Barbie Oppenheimer
Out of Order week.
This one, I feel like
you're covered in blood.
You're...
This one has a lot of costumes.
A lot of costumes.
Yeah, yeah.
Costumes that I was like
I couldn't even tell
who's who.
You don't even know
the judge one
i don't know any of like anything yeah i just i just think owen just sends me like un un like
no description no nothing no context pictures that i'm just like whoa i don't know what's going on
so i'm excited to watch it so out of order order, go to the Barstool Comedy YouTube.
Make sure you subscribe to that.
Follow Barstool Comedy Network on all social media.
And we'll see you guys on Thursday. you you you you you