KFC Radio - Wildfire Smoke Takes Over New York Ft. Jeff D Lowe

Episode Date: June 8, 2023

Timecodes: 0:00 Start 05:25 Signs you're getting older 56:28 KFC vs Florists 01:05:33 LIV Golf is winning 01:22:08 Feits is a Harry and Meghan fan now 01:35:57 Everyone in this office is a p***y 01:37:50 RIP Iron Sheik +++++++++++++++++++++++++ Turo: Turo: Find your drive. Forget boring rental cars at https://bit.ly/3Lwerc1 Barstool Sportsbook: Be sure to use code KFC to unlock your 1000-dollar Bonus. Terms Apply. MUST BE 21+ Gambling Problem? CALL 1-800-GAMBLER +++++++++++++++++++++++++You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. That makes more sense. This is the ultimate John Henry, then. Yeah. This is the man versus the machine, baby. You have fulfilled your destiny. I'm going to die watching Fast and Furious beating the fucking machine, baby. Are you ready?

Tickets, Jersey City are on sale right now. White Eagle Hall, July 13th. It's a Thursday night. Come out, get the weekend started. We will be there for one show. And one show only. White Eagle Hall, July 13th. Jersey City. Shield out.

It's another edition of KFC Radio on the Barstool Sports Network. We got an air crisis, John. Yeah. Yeah. It's not that bad. I'm dying out here, dude. It's, it's, I saw the tweet. One tweet was like, you spent 24 hours in this.

It's like smoking six cigarettes. It's like, oh, who gives a fuck? That's not bad, bro. That's, that's, oh, every time I have one beer, I'm in this spot. Who cares, dude? Bro, first of all, anytime you have a cigarette, you're having six of them anyway. You know what I mean? If you're in that situation, you're out, you want to rip some heaters, you're going to end up having a few.

That's all this is? Six cigs? Dude, so I got home last night and I passed out immediately. Like at once? That might be – you know. No, 24 hours is equivalent to six cigarettes but when i i got home at like six o'clock last night and it wasn't bad yet i fell asleep on the couch immediately and i woke up at like 10 p.m and i was like what the fuck is going on and it smelled funny my apartment windows

open and i looked weird it was like a weird yellow color outside. And I honestly got a little, I mean, I wasn't like, I'm going to die, but I was like, what the fuck? I was like,

this can't be fucking good for you. And then I fucking saw between like six cigarettes and I was like, oh, dude, that's nothing.

Let me tell you something to the big environment people out there. Stick with the, like, the unhealthy air indexes at 157. Because that scares me. That, I was like, oh, shit.

Don't tell me that it's like smoking 6-6. If you tell me it's worse than anywhere in China, I'll go. Yes. Yeah. You tell me this is like the same air quality as Wuhan or Beijing, I'd be like, whoa. Yeah, we're in a real crisis here. Right, right. First of all, you know, fuck you, Canada.

This is all Canadaada's fault yeah having your little you know campfires or whatever up there just ruining our goddamn air so blame canada that's what mexico thinks every time we have a uh gender reveal like they did it again i'm dying though bro course, in the middle of having fucking pneumonia, we have an air crisis. It's just like the world is attempting to murder me. I don't know when this – this just started a couple days ago, right? Or am I late to this? Was this going on like all last week?

What? The air quality thing. I thought it was just yesterday was the first time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the first time I started to hear about it too. I'm getting emails from my – we might not have baseball practice tomorrow. Close your windows. Dude, give Keegan a cigarette.

I was going to say, me and Keegan, we're going to go out. We're going to hit some dingers and rip some Marlboro Reds. We'll be fine. Okay? Give me a break. Dude, Babe Ruthie smokes cigarettes in the dugout. At the plate. Come on.

Yeah, but so like work on your PR because if you show me that it's just a big red block like that looks bad red is scary red is scary red's really scary six six reds delightful this picture of new york that picture of new york scary yeah where it looks like you're on mars i'm scared don't tell me I'm having six cigs. Because the last time I had six cigs, it was a party. It was a blast. Okay? The only thing I can think of is, God, Richard's Pub, I think, in Chicago, where it's like

the only bar where you're allowed to smoke. Did you come to that? No, but you told me about it, and it was just a scene. That was a little much, but that was 6,000 cigarettes. Well, that's because people are trying to smoke. Yeah. You weren't in there not smoking. That hurt my eyes.

I had to go outside. Yeah. That was – I mean, I went back in, but I was like, I gotta go get just like – Some oxygen. It's H1O the whole time in there. And I was like, I gotta go get the two. I gotta get the two. Gotta get some more O.

And then I went back in, but this is fucking... This is disgusting. But also, like, the mere fact that I'm even concerned, like, that this is even entering my mind is how washed up I am. Like... The air quality? Yeah. Like, quality yeah like i'm not like actually you know i'm not like i'm like i'm not gonna go to work today guys or like let's stay inside but i was like oh shit like what is this air quality thing and i've had this cough and like oh oh should i should i should i be concerned about Like, stop being so fucking lame.

Like, I recommend you stop being, you know what I mean? Straight out of old school. Like, the day you start worrying about air quality is the day, you know, just pack it in, dude. It's over for you. That is. There's, I mean, I just did a blog on that. There's many of those situations. Well, you know what?

I'm actually going to stand up for the olds, of which I am. I was going to say, us. Stand up for us. I actually, I not realized how old I am again yesterday. I was doing the bracket and they were talking about splitting the bill and I was like, I don't like, and Tommy was like, well what if you got a $75

steak and someone else got a $25 salad? I was like, I don don't know it doesn't come up with my friend group we just put our cards in and no one i just don't care about that yeah he's like what if there's like a large discrepancy in in salary i'm like well i'm 34 everyone i hang out with is like my age yeah and he's like well we hang out with temps and i was like you know as it was yeah if i go let's address your social life first, Tommy. But that was when I was like, all right, I guess I don't hang out with temps anymore, which is another step in the old direction.

So the day that you don't, when there's a new crop of interns, new temps, whatever, you're not like, what's up, man? Welcome to the company. Let's go get a beer. Let's go to lunch. Welcome to the company. We're probably not going to go hang out. Don't look me in the eyes. You're going to want to go to a much different place

than I'm going to want to go to. I want to go to Richard's and smoke a bunch of cigarettes. You want to go to a different place. You're going to be on a different time schedule. We're going to be on a different bill schedule. It's just not going to work. So you shouldn't want to. I shouldn't want schedule. We're going to be on a different bill schedule. Like, we're just not going to work. So, like, you shouldn't want to.

I shouldn't want to. Let's just not do this. But it was perfect timing because I wrote a blog the other day, and I titled it Signs Years Have Passed because I was going to title it Signs You've Matured, but that implies it's good stuff. And it's not all good. No. And then I was like, well, I was like, maybe make it signs you've gotten older.

And that implies it's all bad. It's not all bad either. It's just... Signs that time has elapsed. It's just time's gone by. Okay. All right. That's interesting because I do normally think of this as a bad thing.

My mind runs to the negative thing. Oh, some of them are very good. Like what? I like dark chocolate now. Yeah, that's a great one. I like unsweetened iced tea. Unsweetened iced tea? Sure.

I always said in my blogs, the minute you like unsweetened iced tea is the minute you're old. Gatorade Zero? That shit hits now. Like, I still, everyone knows I'm a card-carrying member of Full Strength Coke, so I can't get down with the diet. But, yeah, I do know people who are like once you like the diet taste but to me unsweetened iced tea as a kid was like poison like when you thought you were getting some like lifting yeah 100 brisk and you were like what is this bitter poison i'm drinking and now i'm like uh is it unsweetened a little extra lemon please i'm gonna

be naughty today with a little extra lemon but i guzzle that shit now from dunkin donuts i think it's the best iced tea in the world and i remember liking that and being like and this was you know when i arguably was not actually old yet probably still in my 20s i've never been like oh i like unsweetened iced tea shit uh so that yeah that's one but i enjoy it so it's a good one. Yeah, that's like... Dark chocolate's right in that range. Dark chocolate, dude, I still, like, I don't know... I used to... Yeah, dark chocolate, it would be crazy. In, like, the variety packs, you'd be like...

The Russells, the Russell Stovers, half the box would go in the trash every time. Dark chocolate, no fucking thanks. Now, I don't know what my blood type is still, so I'm still a little young, but I know if I see 94% cacao, I'm like, whoa oh that's stuff right there there's that one brand that does like you can see like 94 97 98 that's lynn that's lynn yeah

also you want to throw a little chili pepper in there oh baby a little bite to it when i see like i grab 94 and i'm like oh i'm a fancy boy and then i I'm like, 98. Throw the 94 to the poor. 98, you start getting a little dangerous. Yeah, 98's not even like. It's a little much. Yeah. But there was, what are some other ones that were good? I thought, oh, bro, I don't believe we even talked about this.

Anne Hathaway's like the sexiest person on the planet. I was always, I was always like into her, especially when she was Catwoman and she would bend over that fucking that motorcycle yeah I was like I was like yo

remind me again why we hate on this chick dude I I never really thought about her one way or another I wasn't like she's a girl she existed

she was in Hathaway and now you're like that's that bitch are you talking about like you want to fuck her like sexual Kevin I don't

it's not all no that's it's all the package that's it's no it's a package it's all encompassing i think i said i want to uh i want to meet her at a lounge at a reasonable hour right close your eyes while i hear they tell you this don't get hard i want to meet her at a lounge at a reasonable hour okay sun's still out yeah yeah but it's night inside we get there. We're role playing.

Okay. She's a businesswoman. She's in town for a conference. Medical sales. Right? Yeah. That always looks nice. Nice little skirt.

Pencil skirt. Yeah. Of course. Yep. I'm post pandemic. Stay at home father. Looking to get in some manhood. Absolutely.

With a night of debauchery. We meet. She gets a Cosmo. I get a Manhattan. Right? We drink. We fuck in the bathroom. Debauchery. We meet. She gets a Cosmo. I get a Manhattan. Right? We drink. We fuck in the bathroom. Debaucherous.

Rowdy. Rough. A couple seconds, to be honest, though, right? Not long. We go home. We wake up. We get a full night's sleep. Wake up.

Have some coffee. Read the paper. Eat a parfait. In a sun-soaked breakfast nook. Oh, my God. Yeah. Oh, my God. I want to do that within half an hour. Oh. Eat a parfait. Oh. In a sun-soaked breakfast nook. Oh. Oh, my God. Yeah. Oh, my God. I want to do that within half an hour.

Oh, my God. Man, how could you turn that down? How could you turn that down? Anyone who doesn't like that, congratulations. You're still a kid. Any piece of that just got you fucking hot and bothered, welcome to the squad. Yeah, no, I'm all about that. I would even maybe throw in, you know, like, maybe not in that case because you're just so overcome with your lust for Anne Hathaway.

But the first time you start going, ah, like, well, fuck in the morning. I'll get you tomorrow. You know, that's the that's an early sign oh the first time you faked being asleep yeah yeah all these things so especially as a girl whatever that probably happens when you're like 17 i can only speak for the guys on this one when as a male when you're like you know 16 you're like my dick will always be hard i will never not want to have sex i will always go multiple rounds you know all these things you know and you're like you can't even fathom a world where

that's not true and then the first time you're like well that's not working i didn't think that was gonna happen or like the you know you you're sexting i'm gonna fucking bend you this way that way i'm gonna put you on the roof we're gonna be in the chimney we're gonna and then you're like you know we were spoon sexting for 10 seconds you're like we're about to I'm not even coming like I'm thinking it I'm like I'm gonna stay on the couch

laughter laughter laughter laughter another one another one though to tie that in having sex on anything other than a bed yeah not i'm not even doing the couch i won't even fuck on a couch anymore i'm like there's just no

no room i got where you're gonna put your legs bed only forget about the floor forget about like get out of here i need my like made clean bed bro you like I can't waterproof anything anything other than like you on top and me like this yes doesn't work anymore I can't get my legs wide my groin doesn't open up anymore the um the the height difference in doggy style used to kind of just be like you can get through it now I'm like leaning and I'm falling what are you doing slipping use your fucking arms yeah fuck you back fuck me back no it's Now I'm like leaning and I'm falling. What are you doing slipping? Use your fucking arms. Put it back in. Yeah, fuck you back. Fuck me back.

No, it's because I can't fucking lean over. Prop me up. Prop me up. My gut falls into your back, Arch. It's a fucking nightmare, dude. Dude, I have one. I have one like,

this is one I've been quiet about for a few years. We're getting real here, huh? It's fucking like, when I was younger was younger louis ck had a joke about how kids care about women beyond their periods and men don't i mean he says something okay you mean like like teenager like not kids like yeah i was thinking like kids no no young people and as a young man you're like yeah i'm not touching when you're on your period. Right.

And the kid thought like, ew, it's gross, whatever. And the Louis C.K. the Joker was like, I'm going to fuck it over. I'll drink your blood. Like something like that. And I was like, oh, that's what I should be like, blah, blah, blah. And now I think I've gotten old enough where I'm like, I just don't want to get messy. Okay, so I was about to say, I was about to disagree with you, but we're on the same page. I think what happens is you go from, ew, that's icky, to like, I'm a man, I can fuck through that, to like, well, we don't want to ruin the sheets. These are 400 thread count or whatever, you know?

We're going to make a mess? Yeah, like it's just not, we can just wait a couple days, you know? It's not life or death that's a good one I'll be alright I was never into it nor was I like I wanna fuck so bad I need it right now

I was just kinda like I'm a man like Louis makes you think you're not a man if you don't stick your dick into a bloodbath. You know? It's just going to be everywhere. I mean, yeah. Bro, we can't sleep in the bed afterwards.

What the fuck? Think about just plunging. I could go sleep on the couch to have sex tonight? No. Just plunging something in and out of, like, a bloody bowl. You know? Like, it would be a fiasco. You're going to do that with a body part? just have sex tonight no just plunging something in and out of like a bloody bowl you know like it would be a fiasco you're gonna do that with a body part that's crazy um i might even throw anal sex up there as well yeah same sort of thing where it's like reasoning but just even you know

what i at this stage of my life it's almost like i if I know – like if we've done it and I know you're down and into it, like that's good enough. I'm just going to close my eyes extra tight. I'll just like squeeze around it. Put my thumb around my face. But like, you know what I mean? It's almost like the – I'll give you the points. It's the thought that counts. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We don't really need to fuck you in your ass the fact that you if i really like asked for it though you'd say yes that we're cool you know like you're kinky yeah yeah you know i want you to want to do the dishes totally i don't care That's exactly it I don't have to fuck your ass You can offer it I might even say no You know Thanks but no thanks

I appreciate the effort The The The Sex talk still Kind of applies to I called it the sock sigh I said when I was a kid

When you're younger The only time you like Hold your breath Is like is to go underwater, play Marco Polo, and shit like that. Tying your shoe or getting your sock out? Bro, every morning I was like... That life-filling gasp of air. Are you putting your socks on or cumming?

How long was it? How long was it? No, I just... are you putting your socks on or coming yeah like how long how long was it how long was it like no i just now you have to put on your right sock that's that's do it again that's every goddamn fucking morning and with that was the um i said that i know girls have an ick where the guys who leave their socks on during sex. And there was a time where, like, there was a time where I was so good at getting my socks off. I didn't even need my hands. I could have been born without arms. Look at you. We'd be, like, kissing, shimmying to the bathroom.

And I would just go heel, toe, heel, toe. They're gone. Magic act. It's a fucking magic trick. Fucking Copperfield over here. You wear shoes to the socks of the bar. I wore them. They're a fucking bread trail back to the door right now but but now if now if i it's i'm not taking my socks i just i can't tell you last time to my socks off during sex

and and i'm not like i have no idea i have no clue are you taking your shirt off it was probably pre-pandemic are you taking your shirt off during sex most of the time yeah because i'm because I'm thinking even, like, at this point, I'll Winnie the Pooh it. Because I know that's a big ick. And I'm just like, I don't know. And it's really not even like, oh, I don't want you to see me. It's just like, I don't know. It's a whole thing. Dude.

No, but now. I'll tell you what's worse than me Winnie the Pooh-ing it is me, like, I'm laying down. I got to, like, get myself up in bed. But I'm taking it off. And you're seeing all sorts of angles and things. i'll just leave this extra medium xl on i'll i'll get it like i'll take it off once like we're we're we're in the mix because i get why they charge more at a hospital now i do like the skin to skin oh yeah i like this this is good but i always have my nipples rubbed by a cheap Hanes

Rather than another nipple I don't think I'd be too into it You go nipple a nipple I make sure that's it That's what gets me off I'm kidding don't touch my nipples For real I was going to say don't even put that out there Guys who like their nipples touched

Good for you but let's not act like that's a Pervert Disgusting God what else was on the list um it's this is uh a new one it is this is particular this has become more of an issue mango post mango in my life we're gonna talk about you shitting aren't we no no close right there like it's not uncommon it's not common but it's not uncommon

to fart so loud I wake myself up in it I can't cosign that one but that's fucking hilarious but Jesus Christ what the fuck was that what the hell just get in here and fucking shit the room But that's fucking hilarious. But Jesus. Well, I'll just get in here and fucking shit the room. Man, what else was there?

Oh, red wine makes me horny. So I was going to throw a wine out there, too. I think there was a stage. It's probably similar to period sex. i think it goes the same the same curve i'll drink two buck chuck i don't care yeah it tastes the difference why is this a thing anyway why who would pay extra money for that all that shit and then you know i had my first bottle of like hundred dollar wine i learned about cake bread and jordan and and uh caymus and all these things and i was like oh this this is different it's smoother it tastes better i don't have a hangover i get it and then came back around not to like the two dollar shit

but the like i'm not gonna spend a hundred dollars to just sit here and drink a bottle of wine like by myself like i'm just like yeah yeah you just don't need to do that but there was a time where i was like oh i'm gonna go home tonight and open that fancy bottle for no occasion no no celebration just watch fucking jeopardy and drink this expensive wine and that was the same thing like that's what i thought adults did yeah like it's like you're playing house that that phase of being like what's what adults do yeah and now it's just like oh i'm just gonna i don't know just maybe i'll drink the cheap wine. Maybe I won't drink at all.

Maybe I don't need to do this fancy wine thing. But the whole like it's all the same sort of thing, that's a young man's game. But I never had – I completely agree with that. But the – I never had the phase in my life where it was like – you know, like you'll be in college and someone's like, I can't drink whiskey. I'll fight. Or a girl's like, I can't drink tequila like yeah i get crazy it makes me angry or whatever like it like i i like alcohol affecting me as alcohol yeah totally in probably in the last three years if i get five to seven tannins in me dick's hard i'm like I gotta fuck something. A thing is getting fucked.

Whether it's a hole, a human, an object, a fucking table, a TV, it's getting fucked. The cons texted me after I posted the blog. I hope I can read this. I'm sure I can read it. He didn't say anything wrong. He goes, what did he say? He goes, if I drink too much red wine, I get the Irish tan going quick. Like I get very red.

I think there's like – it's like blood flow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I wonder if your dick's getting blood. Yeah. Maybe there's actually something. The antioxidants. Are average DGX real or is that like a made-up thing? Is that like a mind over mind?

I think they're as real as you want. Like I, yeah, that's like astrology. That's fine. Yeah. Yeah. I can get down with that. Like,

I'm just wondering like when you're slurping down oysters, your pussy actually gets wet. Your dick gets hard. I just don't believe that. I think that somebody used to go on a date and be like, I've never, I've never like fucking had oysters before, but I'm trying to impress this hot girl.

Yeah. All the things lead to sex. You're like, oh, it was the oysters. But it feels like there's something with red wine where all of a sudden you're like, I'm a little hot. You want to fuck with your socks on? Yeah. What else do we got?

It's because red wine has ethanol in it, and that affects your hypothalamus, which is hunger and sex drive. Huh. Okay, so there is something. Okay. So it is good to get a couple glasses in there first. Oh, we've talked about this one, how I understand now that I can feel how my brain doesn't always work.

We're like, it's not dumb. I am dumb, but it's not dumb. But it's like, even at its highest level, I only have like a two-hour window per day where it's at its highest level of dumb. And also how your hunger will play into that. I wrote that one too. I used to be like if I had to run out the door in the morning and I didn't have breakfast and then I had a rough day at work and I didn't eat lunch, like, okay. And then I'll just get to dinner. Yeah.

Just be, be, be an adult is what I would think in my head. Although it's, I guess the opposite. Like you missed a couple meals. You're going a couple extra hours without food. No big deal. And now it's like, I need to go to the hospital. Dude. I haven't eaten in, you know, 12 hours.

I need to call, you know, give me an IV and a fucking medical professional. And it's, it's a lesson I'll never learn either I will every 3 hours I will get cranky what the fuck is wrong with everybody and I'll go eat a banana

and that's just gonna happen every 3 hours before I die but that I do think is I think you can get over that like i think that is a little bit like mind over matter for sure like the people who like intermittent fast and stuff like they learn that like your hunger is just like your brain being like a petulant child like give me sugar yeah yeah and if you learn to turn that off like you are okay dude so it's not really like you know it's not really a thing, but it's a thing.

For sure. Yeah. Speaking of the hunger thing, did you see, what's his name, Ronald Okund? The former offensive lineman? Sorry about the break. Lost like... Oh, 100 pounds. He said he didn't eat for 40 days.

Well, no, he said he fasted for 40 days. And I wonder sometimes if that means like from sunup to sundown. Are we doing some Ramadan shit? Or is it like he literally... If you're saying you fasted for 40 days, you better be doing the Jesus style. Yeah, I agree with you. He went 40 days, 40 nights, central past, lentils. Can somebody Google like – yes.

Yeah, he did like no nothing for 40 days. He – yeah, that guy – What? I thought that was Gandhi. No, Gandhi did it a lot longer. Gandhi – well, that's what I mean though. Gandhi did like water and like nutrients. He just didn't like chew on food, that's what I mean, though. Gandhi did, like, water and, like, nutrients. He just didn't, like, chew on food.

You know what I mean? That's great IV that you get in Vegas. It's awesome. Yeah, it's filled with fucking – that guy, I saw the thread, and he was like, my mind is clearer and all that. I'm like, I would be an insane person. I'd start hallucinating. I'd be angry. I'd be vicious. You know what I mean? Yeah. I'm sure there's, like, a peak where you get over it and all that i'm like i would be an insane person i start hallucinating i'd be angry i'd be vicious

you know what i mean like yeah i'm sure there's like a peak where you get over it and all those people everyone who does that shit is so fucking weird it's like dude this it's it's just like being like it's like your body needs like food and water to run now you know you don't want to eat donuts and all that shit fine yeah yeah but like this is what your body needs oxygen food sustenance water like you cut those things out everyone alive keep eating right just do it you know it's like i i i would imagine i mean whatever you lose 100 pounds and you're in shape whatever do you i don't give a fuck but i'd imagine it's probably much more healthy to like i had a couple meals a day and got like

yeah yeah you know some protein in me and shit doesn't happen in 40 days but it is right right yeah i guess if you need to lose like 200 pounds in 40 days, starve yourself. Pretty good trick. Yeah, eating disorders, proven. Like, tried and true. Proven. You know what's one for me? This is a little bit physical, probably physical and mental.

I won't even fucking consider a roller coaster or a crazy ride or anything anymore. I shouldn't say that because I do do them because of my kids, but I do not enjoy them. I haven't been in a position to do one, but I don't think I would. I might do it. Again, I wouldn't be happy about it. I might do it to be like, I'll still do it, but I wouldn't be enjoying it. I have no desire happy about it. Right. I might do it to be like, I'll still do it. Sure. But, like, I wouldn't be enjoying it. I don't – I have no desire to do that. And then a step further, dizziness, like spinning.

If that ride spins, if I were to be on like the the um mind scrambler or the the um the gender the gravity one where you go up on the walls or even when i go in the teacups with my kids like they're loving it and i'm just like i hope you're having fun you're pulling the thing the other way yeah we i'm moving fast you're goddamn right we're not yeah i'll still do them and i'm like trying to remember like i feel like my parents went on like roller coasters with me and ship but maybe not maybe they were my dad didn't i'm on it my dad did and he was like all about it yeah but like i would be all about it yeah yeah you put a strong face like get the fucking yeah well and then this ties into one of the worst things i've ever gone through well Yeah, but I would be all about it with my kids. Yeah, you'd probably have a strong face. You'd probably get the fucking babies off you.

Well, and then this ties into one of the worst things I've ever gone through. Well, that's dramatic, but I had my first ever, like, claustrophobic freakout. I got an MRI the other day. I've had a million MRIs. I've had, like like eight surgeries or something. All of them needed an MRI. I've had my neck and my shoulders, like things that need to be in the tube fully scanned.

I used to fucking roll in there, take a nap for a half hour, look around. I'm just thinking about things. big deal so i go and i haven't had one in probably eight years i stroll in like thinking same thing it's like all right let's do this um and i was even like how long is this and she was like 12 minutes i was like oh that's what's cake it's no big deal let you get to a commercial break. And then I lay down and it goes in. And this is also probably maybe because I'm fucking fatter than I was back when I did it. But for the first time, my shoulders kind of went, you know.

And then also I was just like. Wait, hang on. That's a problem with the medical community. If you can't fit into it. Well, I couldn't not fit, but I did. yeah like it did what does what does everyone else do this is the problem with the clothes and mri tubes like how do actual fat people deal that's not crazy we gotta squeeze you in when you talk about i just squeeze me in dude i'm a i'm a regular i'm not mildly bigger but like yes i'm a little bit taller and a little wider'm not in great shape, but I'm like, yes.

I'm a little bit taller and a little wider than I should be. But that's it. And I can't dress or use medical devices anymore. They're going to take you to the Bronx Zoo. Are you weighing me on the fucking elephant scale now, too? Give me a fucking break. So that pinches a little bit. And then we get all the way in and I go, Oh, wait

a minute. I don't like this at all. I was like, Holy fucking shit. And, uh, and it's weird cause it was like, it's not closed all the way. Like my feet are fine, you know? And I know I'm going to be okay, but my, my body just like did not react, you know, like it did not listen to that. And all of a sudden, I start to sweat.

And then I'm sweating, so then it's, like, dripping on me, and I can't move, first of all, because of the MRI, and also you can't get your arms up to, like, rub it. So now I have, like, torture going on, because it's just, like, water torture, you know? And it's, you know, those noises are going. And I was just, like, oh, boy. And then the girl chimed in. She's, like know, those noises are going. And I was just like, oh, boy. And then the girl chimed in.

She's like, are you okay? And I was like, I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. And she took me out for, like, a break. And I was like, is the air on? They were like, yep. I was like, do you have any – a lot of the ones I was in had the radio or music playing or something.

Yeah. They were like, we don't do that here. And they were like, you got to get through like five more scans that are all like two minutes. You got two minutes in? Right? Yeah. Because it's 12. Yeah, I did.

I did a few minutes. Oh, you went fast. Yeah. No, I mean, it was instant. It was instant. It was not like a – which makes sense to me, though. Like if I'm going to be afraid, I'm going to be afraid. Yeah, right, right, right.

But I was like – I would close my eyes, and that would make it worse because I was like, you know, you're trying to trick yourself. So then I would open it, and it would actually almost be better even though the thing was right here. I was just like – I started to think about what makes the tube work, and I was just trying to distract myself. But the nurse was so nice. She just came out, and she just put a hand on my leg. She didn't really rub me or anything. She was just like – Did you have Michael Scott on you?

Yeah. And that made a little bit of a difference. And then – you know what it really was? It was once she was like, you have like two more at two minutes. I was like, all right, now I'm good. Yeah. But in the beginning when I was like, am I like two minutes in? Or am I like eight minutes in or like two minutes in?

You know what I mean? Do I live here now? Yeah. Because if I know there's only a couple minutes left, fine. But if i think there's a couple and it's actually like 10 you know none of these numbers are really big i know people have to go on mris for like an hour that would i don't even know if that ever happened to me i think i'd have to be like i can't do it can you knock me out do anesthesia for an mri i i really takes i never and i kind of in hindsight kind of knew that.

Like, I'm not surprised by it. Because I started having, like, if I saw a movie where someone was trapped in a thing, I would be like, it would fuck with me. In recent years, where I'd be like, if that was me, I would bug the fuck out. Really? And I used to watch those things being like, I don't give a shit. Ryan Reynolds recently tweeted about Buried, which I loved. And I think I'd have a hard time watching that now. That's the one where he's just in a coffin the whole time?

Yeah. See, I don't know if I could do that. It would be a stressful watch. And imagine, I don't know, doing it. Oh, you mean physically being the actor? Yeah. I guess. When we went to the funeral

museum i was like i'd get in the casket but that's like with the clothes and everything yeah but like i mean that's in the middle of fucking noon on a tuesday like yeah you know once once i hear dirt hit the top whoo maybe we're in a different that i mean what you're talking about is fucking insane no way but it's weird it's like i know i'm okay but it's just i don't know my brain's like what if the latch's just, I don't know. My brain's like, what if the latch gets stuck? I don't know. What if John decides to play a prank on me? What if I'm in a 1940s refrigerator and the kid

plays hide and seek? That is one of the craziest things. I have to be honest, if my kid died that way, I'd be like, you dumb motherfucker. Especially after a bunch of kids died that way. The kid would haunt you. What did you put a lock on it for? Why do we need to lock the fridge? That was, I mean, I wonder how many, can you Google how many people died in refrigerators in like the 40s and 50s?

Because in my mind, it's like thousands. Yeah. It's like every other day there's a dead kid on the block. It was like in the 90s getting kidnapped. It's part of the culture. If you grew up in the 90s, you lost a friend to kidnapping. 39. 39 total?

54 children were trapped. 39 died. In, like, America. Like, the whole... From 54 to 56. That's, like, the six cigarettes thing. No big deal. 50 kids died?

Those kids were going to die, like... Either way. That doesn't change anything for me. Like, and it was... It was... It was refrigerators to die, like... Either way. That doesn't change anything for me. Like, and it was, it was, um, it was refrigerators that were, like, outside, right? Like, being thrown out or something? They'd be, like, in, like, yeah, they'd be in, like, landfills. Right. And then they would be, like...

Stop playing in landfills, you fucking maniacs! What game are you even playing? How many kids have died from fucking needles in landfills? I bet it beats those old fridges. What's considered a landfill? Because I might have played in a few landfills. I've been to pizza's old fridges. What's considered a landfill? Because I might have played in a few landfills. And hey, you climb on rocks, it's a fucking fun time. That's what I'm thinking of.

What else? Any other? No, wait. You keep going. But I'm interested to hear from the young people if they feel any of these things. I said boobs are better than butt, which isn't – That's crazy. It's not – that depends on who it is.

There are some boobs you go, whoa, my mouth. But I never really used to do that. That's really – it's more like I don't think one's better than the other. It's more like I appreciate a nice boob. Okay, that I can understand. I recently – I almost think it's sort of like anything, and this applies to sex too. It's like you get bored of shit. You know what I mean? So it's like I was an ass man.

I always will be an ass man. But also, you know, you're like – it's like steakhouses. I'm going to put that on my list yeah yeah i used to say to myself i could eat steak and potatoes and i can if you put steak and potatoes in front of me for the rest of my life i'd be okay but i used to gear up for a steakhouse meal like i'm gonna enjoy every second of this and now i'm like yeah i know the cream spinach and mashed potatoes and it comes with the side sauces and like you know i get it it's just not now i'm like i would much rather have like even like a good salmon or like a just an interesting dish or whatever that to me is kind of like yeah like ass always plays

but let me let me take a look at like the exotic menu yeah i know your tits for me now which is kind of backwards because i think boobs are like the most american like you know in pop culture it's like boobs but almost to me it like, you know, in pop culture. It's like boobs. But almost to me, it like flipped, you know, ass became like. It definitely did. Yeah. And then I think partly with the like fashion, like how they're now. It's almost like.

You were going to say fascist. With like every ass is a great ass now. Yeah. It's like you're inundated with it. That is. Too much ass. That sucks. That sucks.

That really sucks for like for like the J-Loos and, like, Vita Guerra who, like, had ass, you know? And they probably were faking it, too. You had 90s ass. That's different than a fucking pair of Lulu's ass. You walk down the street. Everyone's got ass now. Everyone's got an ass. Not everyone's got boob.

And I also said that ass, that nice to see Shaking around the club Boobs will feed your family That is But that's kind of What gets me weird about boobs Is when all of a sudden They become You know

Utters Yeah No thank you You ever caught a glimpse Of yourself in a mirror By the bed doing that Sucking a tit Girls on top of you You're like Thank you. You ever caught a glimpse of yourself in a mirror by the bed doing that? Sucking a tit?

Girls on top of you, you're like. Catch a side eye, you're like, Jesus Christ. This turned into Animal Planet real fucking fast. I will never forget my worst hookup ever was a girl I went to high school with who i like ran into at the bar post high school who we we used to be like truly platonic friends like i'm a big believer like that doesn't exist like it existed with this girl at least on my part i don't know about her like i was like i'm not interested in you we like randomly run into each other get drunk start hooking up, and I just sucked on those tits for way too long. Just way too long. To me, that should be like a kiss almost.

It's like you just kind of get in there, get in. It's on your way down. You know what I mean? And I don't know what was going on, but I just didn't stop. Just slap the bag with them bags. I think I was stalling. I think I was buying time. Because I was like, am I really going to fuck her?

Like, is this going to happen? And I was like, I think I was like, I don't have a condom, but would she care? And I don't know. I was like in my head because it was like, this is someone I've known forever. So I was like, think i was like i don't have a condom but would she care and i don't know i was like in my head because it was like this is someone i've known forever so i was like do it right or whatever and i'm pretty sure as i remember it i think she passed out i remember leaving i sucked the soul out of your body. I'll suck you to sleep, girl. I'm pretty sure. I'm almost positive.

I remember walking out with her. I remember being like, all right, she's too drunk and passed out. I'm gone. But it was like mid-titty sucks. I was like, did you pass out or did I like suck you to sleep they like lullaby you just like forever walking out of there being like

what did I just do I was like this is really relaxing vibrations sound like a Buddhist monk dude the I'm glad you said the stalling the stalling is another aspect of the anti-period sex like you can't take away my one move well I gotta do when I almost come what we go down

yeah yeah yeah yeah I'm like I got nothing I'm like I got I got I got your this is I'm literally having sex with two hands tied behind my back right now. That one fucking move here. Took away my finisher. I'm a hands guy, and you can't do that either. Bro, you end up like fucking Rose the Whippy Cater. He's got a fucking... Wiping it down. He's got the fucking headboard.

Jesus Christ God Um When you Where's Where'd Pabst go He's a kid He just stepped out I don't know I want to hear from a young guy

Point of view If all this shit is like And you guys are fucking Yeah Pabst is like There he is Come on back in Have you been listening To what we're talking about

No not at all Oh okay Great job Not even a little bit What about you Jackie Come on back in. Have you been listening to what we're talking about? No, not at all. Oh, okay. Great job. Not even a little bit. What about you, Jackie? Have you gotten old, or do you feel like you're getting old? I don't know.

Just what do you think about this? Not even thinking about a mic. Just maybe going to a different room altogether. I haven't fully been paying attention. You guys are great. What are you guys guys are great What are you guys doing here? What are you guys doing? Yeah Hold on That mic just clearly doesn't have a cord in it

I don't know if that's as clear. I'll give you that one. I heard the part about boobs. Yeah, you did. I'm really young here. I'm going to do a flip-flop. I think maturity is like an ass is the top thing, but then you float back to boobs.

Yeah, I think it starts with boobs. And that's like double maturity. And then goes ass. Yeah. And then you maybe are like, let me like be all inclusive. Yeah. Pay attention to the boobs. I've hit a point where like the sucking on boobs thing is just like, it's an ick for me now.

It's just like, what are you, a fucking child? Yeah, yeah. It just feels like there's like a baby. The problem is that there is a... That's what getting older is, reverting back to childhood. Like infancy. I was in infancy. I don't even want a nice pair. I'm sloppy.

I'd be veined. We should see a lot of Michaels, man. Those dinner plate nipples with some blue veins. Yeah, I could see for a girl kind of being like... Well, that's actually not true. I feel like some chicks like their nipples. But I also, I don't have feeling in my nipples with some blue veins. Yeah, I could see for a girl kind of being like, well, that's actually not true. I feel like some chicks like their nipples. But I also, I don't have feeling in my nipples. Oh, that's truly like, whatever, bro.

So now it's just like, if you like it, go ahead, you do you. I'm numb. I'm up here doing my nails. So you know what we're doing here, this is for you. If you should tell someone that, it'd be like, that's really perverted. No, I have. This is exclusively for you. I have told tell someone that and be like, that's really perverted. No, I have. This is exclusively for you.

I have told somebody that and then they still, and I was like, go off, queen. If you get a blowjob and you tell the girl, you're like, by the way,

I don't feel anything. She's kept going. What the fuck is wrong with you, you lunatic? Yeah. To me though, if you hook up or fuck a girl with a great ass, it's, like, involved in the sex, kind of. You know what I mean? Like, the butt.

You don't have to, like, literally have anal sex, but, like, you know, the ass is there. It's bouncing over you, grabbing it. Like, if you have a great set of boobs it's like i'm just gonna suck on it i guess you could fuck her but you know that's you want to talk about young man young man game is titty fucking dude shoot did that once in college yeah it's like this is crazy this is absurd straddling your chest I'm sitting on your chest Pabst did that like recently apparently I don't want to think about boobs

I'm going to put my headphones back on in a second Why is it so nice to put your face in it I think it was somebody talking about it the other day Do we have like nerves in our face? Like something that's like... I know we put our face in a pillow. And he was making it up! And Glennie was like, great point!

What made me think about it is just something... When you're citing T-Pain and Glennie, Pat's just talking like it was a fucking... Like a doctor. Like a peer-reviewed report. T-Pain wasn't wearing a shirt at the time. It made me

think it was like, why is it just unbelievable? I remember because I was so like, what the fuck is everyone doing? Because T-Pain was like I think Caleb asked T-Pain, why is motorboating so good? And you're right. There is, not forvin because it's a

little too uh claustrophobic but you don't actually motorboat no but sometimes you just gotta get in there i just like being i i like be like when i when i get hung over i fucking like i don't do it so much anymore but when i had like a real hangover back in the day, I'd just fucking bury my head in the couch cushions. I just like the compression. I just kind of do that with a boob. Very rarely, but here and there. But I think Caleb was like, why is motorboating so good? And T-Pain's like,

you got a lot of senses in your face. And Caleb was like, do you? And he's like, sense of smell, sense of taste, sense of sight. And Glennie's like, that you? And he's like, sense of smell, sense of taste, sense of sight. And Clint is like, that's a great point. Forgot hearing. He forgot hearing.

He only listed three of the senses. And he's like, Clint is like, it wasn't a one time. That was probably half the interview. Clint is like, that's unbelievable. That's the greatest point I ever heard. Yeah. I mean, I think the motorboating is, that's unbelievable. That's the greatest point I ever heard. Yeah, I mean, I think the motorboating is – that's a young man's game. I think a lot of that is – Let me just get a boob.

Either way, though, the main thing is this is why we need to open up our own college, our own university that really prepares you for life because you just you don't get told these things you don't know that like when you get old some of the shit's gonna happen to you you know yeah like i like like in general the roller coaster thing the dizzy thing the claustrophobia thing can all be put under the umbrella of like being afraid like i used to not be afraid of like anything really not like in a macho way but it was just like i was not anxious i didn't have nerves i didn't like you know and now i do now like everything is like i wake up at night in the middle of the night in like a panic i can't sleep at night i think about i overthink things i think the worst about shit i'm you know what i

mean and just like and and i'm sure some of that's individual but a lot of people like on the internet feedback friends i know all when i talk about these things they're like dude totally like i you know i used to sleep through the night like a baby now i wake up every night worried about and there's probably just more shit to worry about in life as you get older but i don't know it's just like they didn't tell me that i was going to become a fucking pussy it is the uh it's kind of like when you're a kid, when you're a kid, I'm just keep saying kid. If you're born one day younger than me, that's what I'm referring to.

And it like the, I think it's like, well, not one day, but when you, when you're like you're mid twenties, late twenties, it's easier to, like I'm talking about the rollercoasters and all this shit. Like it's easier to die if that makes sense. There is – When you're a kid? Even when you're a little bit younger. Yeah, you're 20 – let's say 22.

You're just like I can die and I'm okay. There's like something more romantic about it. If I die now, it's just depressing. Yeah. We talked about like how young you have to be to be tragic. Yeah. It's like there's a romantic aspect. That's why no one cares about dying.

And then when you realize, now it's just fucking, I'm a little old. You didn't die young enough to be in a blaze of glory and be remembered and have the tragedy sympathy. And you didn't live long enough to experience everything. You just had a shitty time at the party yeah you know yeah it's like yeah you weren't the you didn't irish goodbye everyone was like god you got a good night's sleep right right you're just kind of like i got a buzz i don't feel great you didn't go home with the girl at the end of the night you just puked at like after your fifth beer there's nothing i think i forget what movie it is but like they're like it's like there's there's there's obviously something romantic about wasted youth.

There's nothing romantic about wasted middle age. Yeah, totally. You know, the middle decades, man. I feel like 40s particularly, but like 30s and 40s. I could die and no one really cares. Yeah. So I guess I'll not die. 50, you can be old enough.

It's the ultimate spite. Like, I'll die as a kid. I don't give a fuck. I'll make everybody sad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll be a tragedy. Once there isn't a, like, line at your wake. Like, when a young person has the lines,

oh, I'm going to block forever. You're in the newspaper. Once it's like, I don't know, my close family would come. Right. And that's about it. Maybe. They're inconvenienced with the travel, probably not. You know what it is?

It's because you can't – when you turn – when you're in your 50s and then certainly thereafter, you can like look great for your age. Yeah, yeah. You can still be young at heart, you know, like, oh, he still parties. He still travels travels he looks great he he he doesn't look a day over this he's you know he still acts like a young man when you're 30s and 40s you're you're you act younger you act older than you are you know what i mean it's like you should be young enough that you're still in shape and you're traveling you're having fun and you're happy and instead those are the periods of time where you start putting on weight.

You start developing all these anxiety things. It's almost like things are – and then hopefully you're 50 and you start to like – hopefully you figure it out in reverses. And then all of a sudden you can be the Silver Fox or the Distinguished Gentleman. But when you're like 42, you're just like, ooh, that guy used to have like – he used to have hair. He used to be skinny. He used to be fun. guy used to have like he used to have hair he used to be skinny he used to be fun he used to be cool now he's just like a dad who you know can't go on an mri tube so i think those those decades are like you're you're older you you live older than your age shows and then when you get older it's the opposite you can live younger than your age

shows but those middle decades suck. Jackie's coming in just still talking about sucking tits. No, no, no, no. I can't feel shit. I recently, like, I would if a guy came over, like, I would, like, clean my apartment and everything and, like, it'd be so clean. But now I hit a point

where, like, if it's, like, should we go to yours now i hit a point where like if it's like should we go to yours and mine and i just cleaned i'm like well i don't want to like dirty it up if i get it like professionally cleaned it's like normally i would be like oh my god like he's got like i'm like so like perfect put together clean and everything but now it's like i'd rather just actually i'd rather actually be clean than have the appearance exactly yeah that's a good one you know what along those lines it was a joke that i made for you know it's a hacky joke everybody makes and then eventually you understand it the cleaning before the cleaning lady oh it's a real ass thing where

it's like i don't want you to spend your time on this dumb shit. I want you to like scrub the inside of the fridge or something. So I will pick up the toys that are on the floor. Mine isn't even that. So it's just that I'm embarrassed. Well, that too. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes I'll, sometimes I will, I almost say I'll,

I'll, I'll fucking gaslight my brain into forgetting what day the cleaning person's coming. Okay. So I'll leave where I'll leave for work early. I'll just go like sit in a coffee shop but i hope it was today so so it actually still is a little messy yeah i'm like that i don't know if that's an age thing or just what but the uh the shame slash like awkwardness i feel for anybody who's doing any sort of service for me if If you're cleaning my apartment,

if you're a handyman working in my apartment, if you I don't know, whatever. If you're the person who does my laundry, all that shit, I'm like, I over-tip you and I'm super egregious and I'm like, you just caught me at a bad time.

I don't always look like this or whatever. I'm sure they don't give a fuck. I don't always look like this or whatever, you know. Dude, I. I'm sure they don't give a fuck. I tell you exactly how little the fuck they give, Kevin. I live next to my dry cleaner a couple doors down. I probably go once a week. I do laundry in my apartment, but I get a lot of shit dry cleaned. I can't figure out how to keep pants not wrinkled.

So I get, like, all my pants dry cleaned. I'm with you, dude. I used to start dry cleaning like hoodies and shit because it was like, I'm gonna wash this, it's gonna shrink, and it's like a $100 hoodie that I love and it's gonna be ruined.

Anything that's nice, I just get dry cleaned. Dry cleaned, absolutely. That actually might be a little bit of an older thing too is like either taking care of your shit and also things like that where it's just like, yeah,

like if you have, or getting, you know, spending money on your haircut, spending money on your dry cleaning, just being like like if you have nice things and you want it to be a nice way you gotta do this i got i got two now uh one was one so i go to the drag learners once a week right uh two asian people married couple it's like they're like so nice it's like the highlight of my day my week it's like they're like hi i'm like what's up i don't know why they're their names but we get very gregarious with each other i saw they also do like delivery and i guess the the older man was hand delivering packages on whatever on the street and i lit up like christmas cheer like i went to wave and he

had no idea who I was. None. None. Bro, I was – it wasn't like seeing your teacher at the market kind of deal. I was three fucking steps from my door. He was nine steps from his. And he's like, dude, outside of this building, I don't fucking know you. Don't even fucking know you. At all, man.

At all. They all look the same to me. I've thought about it. I've thought about it. That was probably a couple weeks ago. I've thought about it every day. No, they don't give a fuck. Because I walk by, I wave to them, and I'm like, bro.

The thought that they would not only remember you, that they would also be judging you or whatever. That's the guy who can't even do his own laundry. They don't give a fuck. Think about how much you care about other people. Zero. Yeah. You know? It's, you know.

So these are all lessons to learn, I guess, as you get older in life. The other one, and this was a more recent discovery where I just started getting, like, my facial hair trimmed. I don't call it a beard, but whatever. I just get it trimmed. Because I would always have, like, all uneven and all that shit everywhere. But I got it trimmed today. And I get it trimmed at this place. We're all going to have to follow them on social media because I'm definitely one of their models now. and I get it. I get a trip to this place.

We're all going to have to follow them on social media because I'm definitely one of their models now. We're like, it was, it was they have one guy cutting hair, right? He's getting his hair cut. I walked in today, just a regular appointment, 11 o'clock this morning and my guy was waiting for me on the steps and I was like, what's up, Mike?

What's up, John? How you doing? We'll go in and there's like like a camera setup on this one guy getting his haircut and that's oh they're doing a commercial something so i get quiet go over to my barbershop thing lay down blah blah doing it all up guys got the gyro camera and everything just comes over he's right in my face and i was like oh oh this is everyone they're doing this to everybody. Like, for sure they're making like. I can't wait to see your awkward grill on there.

For sure making like a highlight reel. They never asked me. They never did nothing. And I'm in a barber's job. You can do whatever you want to me. Put a finger in my ass. Yeah, that's part of it. Nothing I'm going to do.

And so I was just like, this guy's doing like the my ass. Yeah, that's part of it. Nothing I'm going to do. And so I'm just like, oh. This guy's doing like the rap video. Yeah. To watch like your beard get like snip, snip. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get out of here. Dude, I went to get it done. I couldn't get an appointment at the place I go to.

And it was right before I went to Amsterdam. And I was like, I got to get a little trim here. And I walked in. I was like, can I get like a three? And he's like, it's a three. And I was like, can I was like I gotta get a little trim here and I walked in I was like can I get like a three and he's like it's a three I was like can I get like a two and a half he's like yeah two and a half you're not gonna notice a difference it's like all right dude just shave my fucking face whatever it takes who cares um one thing I got to talk about on today's podcast I guess sort of relates to you know as you get older we're talking about the wine like paying for things paying more money for things that matter.

In that same vein, I have found myself embroiled in a whole new feud. At like the top of the list, almost. I mean, we're talking blinders and condos and the WBC and the Catholic Church. I am going to war with the florists. This video I made over the weekend has a million views. Really? A fucking million. On my regular account, not even on the Barstool account,

on my personal page, a million views. I was going to Shay's Recital. I made this thing as a complete throwaway video. I was almost not even going to post it. I was just like, I picked up flowers at the flower shop, forest, whatever, for Shay for her recital. Because you just have to do that. Shay doesn't want flowers. Nobody fucking wants flowers.

It's this cumbersome burden that you now have to carry around with you. So if you didn't see the video i guess we'll run it here um but uh i said they said they they they started with how much do you want to spend which i think is is a bullshit way to like corner your fucking customer you know i mean it's almost like a what are we on the honor policy here? Like, tell me what the fucking menu is. Yeah. What do I get for the money? So I paid 50 bucks and I got like five flowers. And it looked fine. But I was like, you probably would have given me the same thing for 60 or 70 or 75.

Because, you know, most of us can't really tell the difference. And so I said the florists are scammers. Which got a lot of people being like, you know, not only that, but the phone company scammers, like the delivery services, the upcharges on weddings. Like, there's a lot in the flower community that is, like, truly scammable shit. What I was talking about was, I do believe it, but it's a little more tongue-in-cheek being like – I was saying big flower and shit like that. I was joking. Clearly enough people believe this, agreed with this, and shared this with florists that I've got small business flower shops coming out of the woodwork,

like defending, staunchly defending their entire industry, which is like the first red flag. If you got to tell us all why, you know, you're so valuable and why everything you do is extra money, that's probably, you know, your first indication that there's an issue. But my God, you would think these people are like, you know, stopping the apocalypse, like the flowers. Flowers are the most important thing in the goddamn world.

Flowers are, I was joking in the goddamn world. Flowers are I was joking about it but if you really want to get into it, flowers are the biggest scam in the world. They're just this completely made up luxury that nobody gives a fuck about really at the end of the day. I actually this could be an older thing. I like a nice flower. I don't ever have

it but I do think it brightens a room. I would say now, okay, let me rephrase not that yes because you know people the smell of flowers you can brighten a room i'm not i'm not ignorant enough to just be like stupid what i'm talking about is like the difference in flowers and bouquets and all that shit the i would I would say the vast, vast majority of the world won't really give a fuck

if it's like this bouquet or that bouquet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This flower or that flower. Six versus ten or, you know, like the...

It's almost like a, like a plate at a Michelin restaurant where you're like, what the fuck am I gonna do with all this? Yes. Like the one time

I've gone to a florist, there were sticks and fucking pussy willows i was like what the fuck you're giving me like a little mini forest you're making it look more impressive i will give you that but like i don't that's just when i get home i have to get rid of those all the way totally that is my point is that they so all of these florists are responding by listing all the things they do and i'm like that was your decision you have upcharged for all of this perceived added value that most people don't want i don't need all the fucking sticks and baby's breath and this and that like i to be

honest i just need it because it's a social thing that we've agreed upon that on Valentine's Day or Mother's Day or on an anniversary or birthday or at a dance recital or at, you know, whatever thing where you give flowers. You have to give flowers. And if you don't, you're kind of the asshole. I don't care whether it's big, small, this, that. I need to just check the box. And 90% of them are going to go, thank you. Throw it in the garbage now the other five percent are going to put it in a in a vase for a couple extra days and then

throw it in the garbage and the last five percent of the people who are like this is amazing and those people love this little niche but the rest of us you know and and they're and like it's proof positive by like the uh the the grocery stores now you can get like really it used to be like trash now you can get like nice bouquets and because they're a big ass business they can charge you less so now the flower shops are now revert reverting to like the small business argument where i'm like okay yeah you're gonna charge me a fuck ton more money and i have to keep you in business yeah okay if that's yeah that's what it comes down to save your local flower shops because i don't know

i don't know you went into the wrong business you went into a crazy business where you had to rely on people paying tons of money for a fucking thing that's gonna die in a couple days that's your bad you assholes the amount of people talking like i pay you know you got to pay for the shipping from another country and then the treatments and the and and I was like, I get all that. I just don't care about that. You do. So just give me the fucking whatever flowers and let's move the fuck on. And then they all, at the end,

they're like, so you pay for all that. And then you're paying for my talent, my art, my, you know, presentation. And I'm like,

Oh, another thing I don't give a fuck about. And 99% of people can't tell. You guys get a pair of scissors and just go outside wherever Shade's recital is. Fucking. Honestly, probably could. Get some, what is it? There's a fucking dandelion.

Parchment paper? Yeah. Whatever. Wax paper, yeah. I'll get some parchment paper and some, is it dandelions? What's the ones you blow away? Yeah, dandelions. Dandelions, yeah. Done. Dandelions, yeah.

Done. Dandelions and daffodils. Daffodils. But those are two, like, charities when you were a kid. Was daffodils the one? Daffodils, I think it was. Daffodils. Yellow ribbon or some shit.

A couple daffodils, a couple dandelions. Call it a fucking day. These people are, I mean, they are hot, though. And there's no sign of slowing down. Really? It's, I mean, it's only ramping up. But everybody who is you know a lot of people are just like yeah man like this is a fucking scam we're with you like we get it

uh and and then the other side is all florists there's not one regular person being like no i see their side of it's either you're in this industry and you need to prove your worth and tell people why they need to continue to spend money on shit that you don't give a fuck about or you're a regular person so you're like the medical community is kind of a scam a bunch of doctors like no mandates do cost 40 dollars but but even you know what some people were like comparing it to other shit and i was like all the other things they were comparing it to was like but that provides like utility there's like a reason for that this is just an agreed upon thing that's like it it makes you happy you know like it's you you people just agree that flowers mean i care or whatever yeah at the end of the day it's you know what i mean why why is that flower over this flower more expensive or this plant it's just like

because we say so you know so it's like art what's a lot of money well but then a lot of people said like it's like art and i was like yeah the other biggest fucking scam industry in the world it's all like the money laundering fucking you know tax evading industry sure it's like art i agree you goddamn assholes so fuck the florists um it's nice having you argue on a platform that like I can't just track because normally it would be like I'd see on TweetDeck that you are getting 100 tweets an hour you arguing on Instagram I like yeah me too

because like I see enough of it part of me doesn't like it because I used to be able to like really hone in on like alright what's the other side's exact argument like I put all these tweets together I know they're exact you know this is just like i said i just see a few florists being like no support our business and so i'm like but if for my mental health it's so much better yeah i you i would have been in the last like when did i make that video on like friday i think it was no sunday

i would have been the last like two three. I probably would have sent 120 tweets about flowers. You would have been smashing. I would have sent hundreds of tweets about the floral. I would have been looking up like the import-export rate of flowers from the South American rainforest or some shit. You would have been buying flowers from down the block and just smashing them. Here's your art. Still might do that.

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Find your drive for get boring rental cars at Turo.com. And the other lesson I think that we – today is just all about lessons and growing older. The other ultimate lesson is always take the money. Yeah. Always take the money. Secure the money. Always take the money. Secure the bag. The guys of the PGA Tour must be

living. If I was Tiger Woods, I'd have someone killed. Absolutely. Jay Monahan, PGA Tour commissioner. Tiger's got I'll kill you money. Tiger, yes. Even more than him though, because he's set. He's the guy who's like a billion dollars a

billion he's like worth a billion it's like you i would have doubled my money and i said because like it's like to i i don't know if it was outright lying or whatever oh it was yeah yeah well so if you don't know the story yeah i don't know that so live golf is the the competitor to the pga tour that came up. It started in 2021. I would have said it was like this year. Live? Yeah, it feels fast to me. I would have said about a year.

So I guess it was two years. 2021, yes, about two years. They started this rival tour to the PGA Tour that was backed by the Saudi Arabian PIF. They call it something very weird, like something fund. Something investment fund. What Saudi Arabia is absolutely trying to do is what they call sports washing, where it's like we get in bed with a sports league that everybody loves and we fund it. And people forget about the fact that we are like a terrorist country that violates human rights left and right every day because, hey, we like golf.

That's 100% what they're doing. That we can all agree upon. that violates human rights left and right every day because, hey, we like golf. That's 100% what they're doing. That we can all agree upon, right? That's facts. So they come in with endless amounts of money, and they pry away a few of the biggest golfers in the PGA Tour last year, and then all of a sudden it became this PGA Tour versus Live Golf where the PGA Tour, shouting from the mountaintops,

Saudi Arabia funded 9-11. They're a terrorist country. If you take their money, you're condoning that behavior. You're part of the problem. What about loyalty? What about morality? All that shit. Jay Monahan hit us with a pure never forget.

Never forget 9-11. I have personal family, friends, two families close to me, lost someone in 9-11 i've i have personal family friends two families close to me lost someone in 9-11 have i remember his quote was like you'll never have to apologize for being a pga tour golfer what about if you're a live golfer all that stuff fast forward uh brooks capco wins the one of the majors so now all of a sudden the live golfer has won a major uh also according i spoke to frankie he was he was breaking down for me how right now live golf is suing the pga tour for being a monopoly there's all these like antitrust laws that they're violating that like live was apparently going to win like like bj tour was like yeah this is a monopoly like they're they're

doing tampering they're undercutting they're doing all these things to like control the entire market that it sounds like PGA Tour was going to lose. And on the verge of losing that, not only would that just be like, you know, you lost and there's a huge egg on your face. Also, it sounds like during the litigation process, all the emails and all the texts and everything that would expose you for being the hypocritical assholes that you are. We're going to leak. So rather than lose this lawsuit. Rather than have all that information out there. They cave. Over the last seven weeks. Jay Monahan. The PGA Commissioner.

And his like henchmen. All negotiate this with Liv. No players involved. It was all secret. They found out like yesterday. Yeah. They found out like today, like yesterday. Yeah, they found out when we found out that their league is now joining up with Liv to make one giant tour. After just, you know, a matter of six months, nine months, a year ago, turning down hundreds, each of them, hundreds of millions of dollars. The total amount was $2.1 billion that was offered to PGA golfers that they turned down

in the name of loyalty and morality and we don't want to be perceived as supporting terrorism. They have to get money now, right? Like, PGA has to make them whole. Yeah, I mean... You probably can't make them whole, but like, Tyra turned out a billion dollars.

What are they going to do? I mean, how are you going to do that? I fucking call the prince. I think they have that fund, if I remember, was it 260 billion? Yeah. Something like that. And that's probably like on the low end. Yeah, yeah.

Like when you hear about some of these, you know, you hear about the richest man in the world. It's Bezos. It's Elon Musk, blah, blah, blah. Everyone's always like asterisk that sultans have like trillions of dollars. Jay Monahan's a piece of shit. He played the 9-11 card so many times only to turn around and do the same thing. The same way I could absolutely understand Saudi Arabia's sports watching and they're an asshole, you have to understand that Jay Moutain is a hypocritical asshole. Those are the two sides you can absolutely agree upon. What I will say, I don't want to say I sympathize with him or feel bad for him because he is human garbage. But what do you do if an investment group, what do you do if a terrorist organization with infinite money decides to just bomb into your sport?

Like, how do you stop it? You can't. And that's why you just merge with them and take the money and recognize that there's no such thing as clean money. Every money is dirty. You can never have morals. You just can't have morals. Otherwise, you're going to lose your – like if he really had morals, he would lose –

because they got – I think Liv was going to not take over but disrupt enough that the PGA was going to lose its standing. And so you either had to like stand up for morality and lose or be about the money and survive. But even standing up for morals, like obviously on Twitter there's tons of people and all that stuff. Like even that, at the lowest level, you're being a hypocrite. Like at a very young age, indoctrination gets thrown around a lot.

We start taking blood money immediately. Always. Like look at my fucking shoes look at my fucking phone like there's you want to talk about where you drive the oil whether it's sweatshops or oil or fucking pharmaceutical big business every dollar is dirty right it's just a matter of like how much you want to talk about it we just don't you know we're just like yeah we know about sweatshops we just don't care and i don't if someone hammers you over the head publicly in an interview and says why do you wear your nikes they're from sweatshops and you're like uh well you're right i don't like it doesn't consume my day but if you put me on the spot like you're right i wish this didn't

come from a sweatshop right but like but the difference is that those guys didn't say that they said no i don't have it you're a terrorist you're that's what the 400 million dollars is for right you don't get it like yeah that's true a terrorist. That's what the $400 million is for. Right. That's true. That's what the money's for. That is true. I'm sure in their heart of hearts, they want to go, yeah, fucking sucks. If it was up to me, this money would have come from God himself. Right.

Mother Mary. No sin. That's why I can't believe these golfers take these interviews. The only way you could come out looking, no, you can't even look good. The only way you can be real in that interview is to say, I recognize that we are talking about sponsorship money and billions of dollars that is dirty one way or another. That every government, every company, every consumer, every everything is in bed with something immoral. And I am a golfer who is – I'm not here to stop that.

I don't – I can't affect that. I'm just here to like make money for me and my family. Like – but then you look like an asshole. So you can't tell the truth you can't also lie and be like you know uh like act like it's not dirty money i mean did you see bryson dechambeau on when when she said you know what do you say to the families of 9-11 that you know you're in bed with the people who funded that attack and he said nobody's perfect yeah nobody's perfect is a crazy nobody's crazy is crazy nuts he said nobody's perfect and then you know there's a lot

of bad information out there like like what they were involved in 9-11 like pretty much just information i that that i could not believe that some publicist wasn't like we're breaking up the tv's not working see you later you should have started chugging that drink whatever that was so weird you can't sip in there yeah it's like clearly just empty you should have done the big guy i'm frozen he's talking into a can about time for commercial right the i'll tell you what perfect i I can't wait to see fucking NFL players start doing those interviews. Because if you think the PGA Tour was the first one the fucking Crown Prince is going to buy. Yeah, that's what I mean.

What happens to these other leagues when if somebody, if a terrorist sultan comes in and says, I'll pay you $100 million a year in any sport, they're coming. Dude, they started with golf. It's happening with soccer. For sure, soccer. I think it'll happen in basketball in some way because it's so global. China. Basketball's already doing it with China.

It was just so blunt and blatantly blatant. I don't know about the Uyghurs. Right, right, right. But that was a little more subtle than it would be like if the sultans just swooped in and like bought a team or something it's hard because the individual aspect of golf but the nfl already did that they used the it's i don't think the nfl is like the next one

but it's going it's like gonna happen the nfl this past year i believe altered their rules where it used to have to be you were an individual to buy a team. Now public funds can buy a team. To get that money. And people were like, that's explicitly for so the Prince can buy a team. Like, that one rule change makes him able to buy a team. But you know what? I mean, like, it's almost like the flowers.

Like, it's just something we all agree upon, right? We all agree upon, right? We all agree that you can wear Nikes and have an iPhone and you're not a bad person because we just agree. So if we just agree that Sultans can buy teams. Don't dump gasoline on yourself right now by going, you're just going to buy gasoline because guess what? It's going to happen. It's going to happen.

That's where, again, I don't sympathize, but I can't imagine i i picture this image of like you know this guy probably gets paid a shit ton of money and he he operates in the most hoity-toity bougie industry you can everything has gone good for him and then all of a sudden live starts fucking it up and like i just picture him like throwing his cell phone against the wall or banging on the table just being like, why is this happening? Like, why are these fucking terrorists stealing my league from me? Because you just can't. Money talks.

Like, those guys were just like, sorry, dude, I'm out. It's too much money. And then just, I mean, to do the 9-11 thing and then turn around and take the same money is fucking insane. And that's what I mean. He dumped gasoline on him. You're going to have – dude, like the more I think about it, the NFL might be happening sooner rather than later because there's whispers about Goodell leaving. They're going to make him take one more fucking blow. Like we were saying, that's what the money is for.

That's what Goodell's $50 million a year is for. To talk about the 9-11 and money that's coming in. Yeah, no, like, we'll change this one rule, we'll wait a year or two, Man City, welcome to the Las Vegas Raiders, or whatever it is. Like, it's there, yes, it's sports washing, it's gonna happen. I'm not

like trying to be like a predict the future kind of deal, but like if you were gonna do it, right, like wouldn't you start with the hoity-toity-est sport where a lot of people who play understand that almost all money is dirty money? That would be the easiest one to kind of get in. You don't have to deal with the goddamn fucking maniac rednecks who are like – Right, right, right, right. Then maybe you get one more league before then.

So that's what I mean. Like, if – once everyone agrees upon something then it goes away right so like in the beginning some rednecks are going to be like never forget like I'm not watching football anymore and then it's like but are you really are you really going to like boycott your team because you're probably not

and the next thing you know you're just like watching it's like I mean people did it ad nauseum already with Liv where it's like pointing out like, okay, well, these sponsors already work in Saudi Arabia. You're already watching a product that's supported by them. So what's the difference? And then they go, well, okay. And they just start watching again and then it's just – and almost that's not a great thing.

Like you said, you wish money was clean. But it's almost better like let's just get this over i have to participate in society right right i'm not making these choices but i i have to have sneakers i have to have a phone i i can't go live in the woods and not watch television created by you know evil fucking executives and wear products and use products and consume services and whatever made by the bad people at the top. Because otherwise you're just sitting in a fucking tent in the woods eating berries. It's basically, again, it's at much, much smaller levels.

But it's the exact answer a live golfer could give where he's like – where I'm like, look, I could get sneakers that are fucking made in America. They said I could get a phone are fucking made in America. I could get a phone. It's inconvenient for me. And it's not the best thing for me and the people around me. So I don't do it. A golfer could just say the same.

This is a sneaker and a phone versus $100 million. But it's the same exact answer. And again, it's just a very, very different level. Right. That's a great call. And I think people just can't put themselves never let somebody who doesn't have the same offer as you talk you out of that money yeah you know if if we both have 100 million dollars from saudi arabia and i say dude i'm not taking mine and i really don't think you should take yours still tell me i'm an idiot and take yours. But at least we're in the same boat,

and it's like, I'm putting my money where my mouth is. Yeah. Like, Rory did it, though. Rory caught it. And then turned around and said, this is the best thing for golf. I think his answer was kind of like, he's like, yeah.

Again, like, in a perfect world. But, like, why? I mean, these guys, I think, are just so much. I think maybe you learned your lesson, that it's just about the money, so just shut the fuck up and let this happen. But it would be impossible for me to not go, what the fuck? If I was Rory McIlroy, I would stand up right now and just be like, these guys told me this, that, and the third thing about loyalty and morality and then just turned around and did it themselves. That's fucked up. But I'm sure he's saying

I just made this mistake about playing the moral game two minutes ago I'm not gonna do it now this is good for golf you know let me get my money cause I don't want the Saudi princes

not paying me they're gonna pay everybody but I'm gonna be the guy who still stands up for it no one else is everyone's caving let me just cave too but man

houses in Scotland aren't even that expensive but I fucking still want money right I yeah that that is you know cash always take the fucking money uh and and and then and you can't judge people who like poor people can't fucking you can't even wrap your head around you can't understand it that's why uh you know these people who are chirping at your your your boy harry and megan i think I'm a Harry and Meghan guy.

I knew it. I knew you were going to be. I knew you were going to be. I'm a Harry and Meghan guy. I knew you were going to be. It's untuted. Why? Because they're awful.

There was one that tipped the scales. So it helps that I know I am as ignorant with the Harry and Meghan as you can be. I don't know. There are two people who left the royal family, and that's the extent of my knowledge of harry and megan um but there was an article last night at um it's a it's the new york post tweeted it spotify slashes 200 more jobs after harry megan audio deal fails to pay off i read the article it has nothing to do with them right like it's just it's just podcasting like in the article It has nothing to do with them It's just

Podcasting In the article they mention like Rogan And other big names they spend money here And it's just like The streaming service isn't doing well It's Spotify has slashed Further 200 jobs after Prince Harry

And Meghan publicized the auto deal fails To rake in The expected sum of cash And it's just like they're listing hundred jobs after prince harry and megan publicized auto deal fails it did like to break in i expected some of cash and it's just like they're listing all the other big names and it's just i i feel like they've become a catch-all where it's just like we just blame blame it on harry yes where like i never thought in a million years i'd be sitting here defending the the physical embodiment of colonialism and apartheid and the keepers of all of Africa's prized possessions. But, I mean, technically they're not that.

Like, they broke away from that. Right. At least that's the bill of goods they're selling. They still got blood. Totally. But, like, everything now is, like, fucking Harry and Meghan. Like, what are they? I don't know.

What are they doing? Again, I'm very ignorant. So maybe – are they doing something particularly bad? No. I think people don't like them because they do come across – she really is the issue. It's a huge example of like what did you think you were signing up for? Yeah. a huge example of like what did you think you were signing up for yeah you know to be like you know they're racist and they're horrible and it's rigid and i can't live like this like

yeah but that's i mean that was like five years ago now well yeah yeah yeah right it's just yeah but i mean so what like they so they bounced they bounced to america they i think right away they had like a hulu deal and a Spotify deal. I think one of those docs came out this year, right? I didn't watch it. Yeah, Netflix. Netflix. Okay, maybe not Hulu.

I think all of those things are bombing. I don't think people really – people care about them, but they're not invested in them. No one's going to sit down and watch us. So that's what I mean. So why are we so worked up? Like every day they're in the headline. it was like we don't care about it so what do we fucking care about it yeah well that's well that's when people say like i don't

give a fuck about the kardashians like well you spend but at least they're arguing right so like we actually don't care yeah why are we caring every day right right yeah that is interesting because it's like but i guess there's a difference between caring and like – I guess it's the level of what you care. Like I know who they are. I don't like what they're doing. I'll argue with my friends about it. I'm not going to give you like an hour of my television time. Yeah.

But they probably might be – like when people say like just stop talking about the Kardashians and they'll go away, I'm like no, no, you know. I think they might go away. They'll go away. If people just stopped. If you read that full article, it really has nothing to do with them, the Spotify fires. It's akin to me being like New York City is covered in smoke right now because Harry and Meghan failed to put out the Canadian forest fires. It's just you're putting their name in a headline for no reason.

I think that's where people get mad at the media because this might be something where it's like, you know Harry and Meghan get clicks, and then it's a self-fulfilling thing where it's like, it gets clicks because you don't really care, but you do click, and they put it in there enough that you think you care, and it just keeps going. They're in the news again. They're literally not in the news. If you read the article, they put it in there enough that you think you care. And, you know, it just keeps going. They're in the news again.

They're literally not in the news. If you read the article, they're not in the news. It's not a part of it. They just put their names in it. It's just their names right there. And that's, I mean, they better hope that keeps up because otherwise the alternative is fucking see you later. Right. Yeah.

And you have no discernible skills. You have no discernible fan base. There's not like, you know megan markle like stands out there i'm sure there's a couple suits is fine and like i actually didn't finish it but the first few seasons the suits banged i feel like harry's gonna gonna bounce and be like i'm going back to mom you think so now but grandma um i think i i could see that i could it. I mean, it's her. You know what Harry and Meghan are? They are the steroid version of the girl who just comes in and steals away your friend and changes everything.

He was never going to be king or prince or whatever. He was a prince. He was never going to be king. He was the wild child. There was a little bit of black sheep going on. But he was just going to be there. And then she swooped in and got in his ear it was like we have to go and this is terrible and your mother wouldn't like it like this and i don't know whether he bought it or or he's just

parroting it but he says all that shit but it's like okay are you sure because like you lost everything now like you're not you're not at any of the events you're not in the family and your career that you thought was going to take off is not so if he if he left the royal family and became like a superstar it'd be one thing when you're not it's like but that like so like so right so like it's i i i it's what just like what's the point of continuing to talk about them i mean because it's like you're right it's not a superstar it's not a there i I'm not like anti gossip. It's just like I just I can't bring myself to care about them.

And then when everyone's like, do you see what Megan Harry did? They did a podcast that wasn't successful. So here's what happens. Like, here's why I think maybe it happens. There still are enough gossip people who just care because it's like you are tangentially still related to the royals. We care. You're rich. You were an actress.

You were in this sordid royals thing. I want to see your pictures of your baby. I want to see pictures of you. So the paparazzi still come around. Yeah. They then put out a headline saying we were in a high speed chase for our lives against the paparazzi, which makes people go, fuck you, shut the fuck up, no, you weren't. And then the people who maybe do sympathize with them respond to that and say, no, it was dangerous.

And it's just like it's this circle, you know what I mean, where it's like it's not – there's nothing substantial to it. But there's, I think, enough just people, nosy people, that like if you have any sort of notoriety, you know? I think I'm going to be, like, yeah, their life was in danger. Their lives were in danger. That car chase was two hours. You're just going to believe them and just ride for them?

Yeah. If I have to hear about them every day, I guess I got to make an opinion. Sure. They were fucking, they were in danger. It was two hours. Yeah. I mean, a car chase for two hours is something out of Fast and the Furious. Imagine – Oh, speaking of that.

Oh, yeah. Friday the 16th. Oh, we booked it? We got it? Locked in. Okay. I will be here. You haven't – yeah.

This is the announcement. Friday, there will be a 24 hour live stream Probably longer because I have to watch all 10 I get to watch all 10 Fast movies I will be counting We have Jeff DeLow on the show today But I will be counting

Every single car accident In all Fast and Furious You may have heard of the challenge It went viral The challenge has been altered. It is no longer one person counting all the car accidents. It is one person counting all the car accidents versus me. It will be a live stream.

Whose car accident counts. I don't know if you know this. Also versus an AI. So it's you versus a person. That makes more sense. This is the ultimate John Henry then. Yeah. This is the man versus the machine, baby.

You have fulfilled your destiny. I'm going to die watching Fast and Furious beating the fucking machines, baby. Can you imagine? He's on hour 26, and he's got to tally one more, and he's like, I'm going to fucking get that last rail nail in and fucking die dude that is it the computer is gonna short circuit at the very end and he wins bro i did not know i'm going up against an ai this is what i was i was i kept wondering how are we going to decide if he's right or the other humans right because they're human like but if we have a computer who we believe is right because they're human. But if we have a computer who we believe is right... I'm going to beat that computer.

But even that, can we beat it? I'm going to beat that computer, Kevin. Kevin, he's going to have a giant red button and whenever there's a crash, he's going to press it. That is amazing. I'm going to start stretching now.

Two weeks? One week. Next Friday, we'll start at noon. Noon on Friday. stretching now dude two weeks wow two weeks is one week one week one week next friday start at noon noon on friday i will be in this room until i finish all the fucking fast are you gonna have to like do some peds right oh i i i if i go to sleep i'm gonna sleep like i might need a nap well you gotta stop the movies yeah yeah yeah no of course yeah but i'm i'll be here as a spotter i'll pause i'm i'm here until I watch all the movies. Oh, my God.

It's going to be so good. This is like the Christmas stream times a million. So good. Yeah, game's on. Friday. Me versus AI, baby. Oh, this has been brewing. This has been brewing for a little while.

Dude, you might be like, I was going to say an American hero. No, you're like a human hero. Like the whole world right now is all worked up about AI taking over. John Henry, once again, for the flesh and blood. Bro, the fact that it's John Henry versus the fucking machines again. This is nuts. John Henry versus the machines is what we're calling this show. I was just about to say it.

I like that one the best, but I was going to do Fast Fights or Fights and the Furious. Dude, what was the original? Let's throw Colin in there. We'll do both. John Henry. Fast Fights works probably as a hashtag the best. You're going to become a folk hero. Dude.

A tall tale. Man, I'm fucking jacked up now. AI, I know you're listening, and you're going down, bitch. I'm going to get killed in my sleep tonight by my TV. That's because you're scared. You don't want this fight. I'm coming for you. I'm going to eat your babies.

I'm going to fucking kill your whole family, motherfuckers. I'm ferocious. I'm going to eat your babies. I'm going to fucking kill your whole family, motherfuckers. I'm ferocious. I'm impregnable. Alright, you mentioned it. We got Jeff D. Lowe on the show. So let's do some voicemails first and then we'll get into our interview with him. He's talking all about the dozen, the playoffs, the finals, how the dozen grew.

The dozen day, dozen live is tonight. Be ready for that. And you can hear about all the behind the scenes action from our matches, from Jeff, the host, the process, the future of the Dozen, all of that. Very interesting stuff for one of the most popular and beloved things at Barstool right now. The Booze Ponies are hosting the tournament, I guess, or we're doing the intermission show. That's why you're going to Chicago.

Yeah. Will had to back out because he didn't realize he had a live show tomorrow night, tonight. So Jeff found a replacement. It's the perfect replacement because it's the least booze pony person ever, Tommy Scabelli. Of course. It's the booze ponies, fights and Dana, and Tommy.

And Tommy. What's the opposite of a booze pony? He's like a sober fucking hummingbird or something. All right, let's do some voicemails, and then we'll get it to Jeff. All right, NBA Finals. NHL Stanley Cup. They are on right now. Baseball is in full swing.

It is summertime. It is almost the ultimate dog days of summer. So get your bets in while you can. Go to the Barstool Sportsbook right here on your phone. Easy app. Check out the exclusive. You got odds boost, NBA finals boost right now. Heat culture.

Again, this is probably for tomorrow, for tonight, so you're not going to know it. But Jimmy Butler to score 20 plus points. Bam Abadai out of Iowa to record a double-double. And Max Strauss had two plus-three pointers in Game 3. That was plus-200. You got it for plus-300. You can bet with Big Pat. You can bet with all the personalities here at Barstool.

Again, it is almost dog day this summer. Get your bets in for the Cup. Get your bets in for the NBA Finals Cup, by the way. Matthew Kachok. I know they're down 0-2, but I love watching Matthew Kachok play hockey. My man is just violent. That hit on Michael the other night was bananas. Oh, French Open is also ongoing right now.

Oh, that's right. This weekend. I think it's Friday. Friday, June 9th. My boy, Carlos Alcaraz. If you don't know this, I was at that marathon match he had at the U.S. Open last year. I become an Alcaraz diehard in the sense that I don't really follow him at all. But the hubs will text me Alcaraz highlights.

Carlos Alcaraz versus Djokovic. Friday, June 9th, 845 AM. Set an alarm and take the young buck. That's it. I don't know if I've ever had a Barstool exclusive. I'm still not going to have one. But go take the kid Alcaraz. He's electric to watch. Absolutely electric.

Download it. Sign up for now. Sign up now at Barstool Sportsbook today. Terms apply. Must be 21+. Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLool Sportsbook today. Terms apply. Must be 21 plus. Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER. Real quick. Kevin and I just took a piss break.

We've been told to fucking lay off this company because everyone's a goddamn pussy. Did you hear that conversation in the bathroom just now? No. About how fucking everyone's scared about the smoke and they were going to go get lunch, but they're not going to get lunch and they were walking home last night and they're fucking they got a headache and shit like that everyone's a bitch here let's go do the rest of the podcast outside hear that no i was i was reading my phone bro it was like i don't know who they were i was two people and they're like oh yeah i was walking home last

night i got real light head if you go outside make sure you cover your mouth with your fucking shirt i wouldn't go get lunch right now. Shut the fuck up. Everyone here fucking sucks. Yo, I will say, when I stepped out there and saw the video. I was taken aback by the visual. I was scared. Guess what? I'll be honest.

I don't think I'm going to go outside and have lunch. I'm fucking starving, and I'm going to get lunch as soon as we're done with this voicemail. Yo, I mean, you got to go outside. That was crazy. It was not like that when we came into work today. And I was like, oh, it's kind of like hazy out there. And then I was like, holy shit. I will admit, when we opened that door, I was like, oh, shit, did we record all day?

Is it 5 p.m. right now in December? What if we go outside right now and it's like breathing in like sand? Will you retract your statement? I'll tell you what There's that new place I just opened up They make a hell of a chicken Caesar salad I had one yesterday

It was delicious It's like Metro Cafe or something like that Oh where is it? Like across the street Going down 28th Good for them I like the new It might be over 27th

It's right here It's right next to like Might be right next to the Starbucks It might be on the 28th I forget But it's You want to the Starbucks. I forget. You want to come? If you fucking pass out, I'll carry you. With my lungs, the air could be clean.

I was going to pass out. I'll pick you up. Alright, voicemails. What do we got, Jack? If you smoke a cigarette, it'll cancel it out. Alright, before we get into our voicemails, I just want to say rest in peace to the Iron Sheik, a wrestling legend.

I had kept Twitter in business for a while. He was a big piece of Twitter. Like him and Jose Canseco. Yeah. Hug for you with Jose. And like you, Jabroni, I break your back with Iron Sheik. People loved him. We, I had a little personal interaction with him.

Maybe I'll go post our picture on Instagram, you know. I don't want to speak ill of the dead, but, you know, this is just something that happened. We hired him to appear at a WrestleMania party at The Saloon, the bar in New York that we used to have all the Barcelona New York parties at. That infamously had those crazy open bars for like 12 hours. And one time, it was during WrestleMania Sunday, we rented out the pay-per-view and the whole bar was filled to watch wrestling. And the Iron Sheik was there to like, I don't know what I thought he was going to do, but

he just sat there. And like, I don't know. You know, again, I didn't think he was going to wrestle or anything, what I thought he was going to do, but he just sat there. And like, I don't know. You know, again, I didn't think he was going to wrestle or anything, but I thought he'd be a part of the party or whatever. The man really couldn't walk at that point. So he just sat at a table. This is like 10 plus years ago. This is at least.

Yeah, no, probably about 2012-ish. Like probably like that. Yeah, it's like 10, 12 years ago. He just sat at a table and like, it was kind of like a porn convention. Like, you just come up and take a picture, you know? Kicks in the balls real quick. He drank 1,000 beers. We just, like, kept funneling him buckets of beers.

He brought a bowl of spaghetti. I remember that. His team had, like, a Tupperware full of pasta. I remember that. His team had like a Tupperware full of pasta. I remember that. That was weird. And then he just pissed himself. Rather than getting up and go to the bathroom, he just stayed where he was sitting and he peed. Do you think it was a conscious decision?

Yeah. Oh, yeah. No, no. I think he was just like now I have to pee I don't know if he was wearing diapers and they didn't work or if he didn't put on his diapers or if he just doesn't do that or something but he was just like now I piss

crazy like dribbling it was like we took pictures with him and I remember kind of crouching around him and kind of being like What is happening here Is that piss It was it was so weird

Because it was like Nowadays I'd be like did this guy fucking piss Back then it was like he was A twitter celebrity and we paid for him To come to a party and I was new to this And I was almost like Don't be saying anything. Instead of being like, this guy's pissing.

Crazy. But rest in peace. I don't mean it in a bad way. It was a great time. Thank you for coming to the party. Boys and girls, let's go. Hey, KFC. Hey, fights.

I got a fact. But I'm a little hesitant because it's about a place in Morocco. As you may or may not know, Morocco is in Africa. And for the podcast listeners, which you can probably tell because of my voice and the fact that I'm calling into KFC Radio, but I'm not black. It's not my history. It's not my culture. And it doesn't feel like it's my place to share any African knowledge and information with the world. So I'm left with two options.

Option one is I could have a black person share this fun fact. And I considered that. But it's not nearly as funny. So instead, I needed to find somebody who is white and doesn't care about appropriating black culture and history. I found the perfect person, so why don't you go ahead and take it away. What's up, John and Kev? This is a message

from Mitzi, sent by your friend Holden. Got a fun fact for you. I want to tell you about the oldest existing university in the world, which is the University of Karoo Inn. Nailed it. And Fez, Morocco.

Founded in 849. Damn, that's like 1,400 years old. The more you know. That's certainly a new fun fact that I didn't know before this. Bro. bro that was so funny when he by the way when his eyes started trying to read they're crossing and uncrossing i mean all right so i need some backstory to the story i make nascar videos i made a video about this guy called lar Phillips that he made into the NASCAR 75 greatest driver list. Don't think he should have made it. Never made it to the top level of NASCAR.

Anyway, make a video about him. I talk hella shit. And then post it on YouTube. Get a comment. And this comment says just all of this wonderful things about this man that I'm talking hella shit about. And it's just a long essay long comment about all these beautiful things and basically this girl ends the comment with uh you should do more research because i'm proud to call that man my grandfather and i go fuck i could talk

trash about anybody like any driver any person i don't want to talk trash about somebody's dead grandpappy but i also i ain't no bitch so i doubled down want to talk trash about somebody's dead grandpappy but also i ain't no bitch so i doubled down and made another video about just talking hella trash still like i don't care uh feel pretty shitty i know i'm going to hell but now i'm definitely going to hell uh so basically what's the most uh shitty thing that you've ever done in the content game something that just made you feel like a horrible person i'm sure sure you guys got some stories dude the so first of all that i don't give a shit about talking about someone's great dead grandpa fuck you fuck you man fuck your grandpa dude he's probably racist like like oh your grandpa died

like everyone's gonna die i don't give a shit what old people do they die your grandpa's dead so is mine is is i don't know your grandpa was a piece of shit so was mine probably who cares i i like the fact that they're dead doesn't change the fact that whatever i'm talking shit about facts like like if it was like if you said that's not true and also he's alive i'd feel a lot worse than if you said that is true and he's dead yeah fuck that but that's a good question though what's the most what's the worst you've ever felt about content? I don't know. There isn't really much.

I can't specifically say, but I know I for sure have felt bad about stuff for sure. Because I, like, there's everything I, like, there are times where I'm like, I probably shouldn't have told that story. But, like, it happened to me, too. That's, like, I was there, too. That's your story as well. shouldn't have told that story but like it had like it happened to me too that's like yeah like i was there that's your story as well um i mean i for sure have all sorts of guilt issues about how everything played out with my with uh my marriage and the content i used to put out with that but even that was just like i was you know telling the truth or like joking around about my

reality and all that it was never like i was really like speaking out of school or saying things that like you know specific to us and her or whatever you know just like it ended up being shitty and so then i look like an asshole and i wish i didn't but like it's not like you were jay monning you were acting with the uh no no no no no but i'm sure i i was thinking that's interesting that you went more to the angle of like exposing someone's secrets or truth or whatever. I was thinking more of just like being mean. That like – I don't ever think I'm outright – like I'm never trying to be mean, so I don't ever think I'm mean. I agree with that. But I remember it got to a point so many people sent me everything that Lena Dunham was doing.

Yeah, yeah. Just expecting me to – like she would just post a picture that she didn't look great in to be kind. And people would be like, you got to blog this. Like look how gross this is. And I was like, wait, is this what people think? Like I was always bashing her for like putting rocks inside her sister's pussy yeah and like abandoning her dogs and being like accusing people of being racist and all this shitty stuff that was like yeah i'll make fun of you as i talk about why you're shitty

but is this coming across as just like i'll just make fun of this girl for being overweight or whatever yeah yeah i just kind of that's like that's me versus yeah talking about something like right i i but i I wasn't doing that, but I was like, if this is how it started to come across, then I'm out. We were talking about that kind on the dozen the other day where you can't post people in public

anymore. And it's going to be like, how dare you violate their privacy? Or people will be like, that guy deserves to die. It's like, whoa. He's in public, so it's not privacy. Second of all, I don't want him to die. I'm just, whoa, he's in public. So it's not privacy. Second of all, like I want him to die. I'm just saying it's kind of goofy.

This guy's still using a video camcorder. Right. Like it's not that like, we're just poking, poking fun at something. That's not that big of a deal. Yeah. There are times where like things have like, like they were,

they were probably in that same vein. There was like cyclist shit. Like this guy should come like, no, I think he's kind of annoying. Yeah. But that, that wasn't you though. It's usually other people being like, I think he's kind of annoying. Yeah, but that wasn't you though. It's usually other people being like I'll fucking kill him for you.

It's like, yo, calm down. I'm trying to think if there's anybody. I'm sure there's somebody I screwed over with like outing. I don't know. Like I told the story and they're like, yo, like I don't know. I'm pretty good with that. Sure it happens. In yesteryear, there are probably times where I like said something I should have.

Like now I like fucking change dates and shit like that. I'm pretty good with it now. I'm sure there was some time that I can't remember that. I was like, ah, I probably shouldn't have said that. There was one time. This is in retrospect. I don't care. But there was that one time in the immediate aftermath.

Again, it wasn't a mean thing. It was just like, oh, I wish I didn't do that kind of content. Where I just got a twitter account and i had a blog series that lasted like three blogs maybe where i was just trolling isis yeah and i i was young and dumb and thought i was the center of the universe so i was like they're gonna find me and kill but it wasn't me i was like my dad has the same name they're gonna kill my dad and like in that immediate aftermath i was like oh i regret this content now it's funny do you think that i ever had that thought that i was gonna care now it's funny like that like now it's funny but the that was in the immediate i there's nothing that sticks with me at least that comes to mind right away i was gonna say it clearly doesn't stick with me because i don't

remember yeah but i i know there have been times i felt bad about just like not just like not good at least that comes to mind right away. I was going to say, it clearly doesn't stick with me because I don't remember it. Yeah. But I know there have been times I felt bad about, or just like not good about something, you know. Almost more. There was one when Zola went like. Yeah. I was like, I suck. I was like, Zola this whore. I was like, Jesus Christ.

There are probably words I've used in retrospective time this past. The Tom Kaepernick thing I apologize for. I felt like shit about that. But not on my own. That was only because people pointed it out to me. There hasn't been much that I was on my own in the moment. I was like, ah, that was shitty. It was like I had to be told or shown.

This was fucked up. It did a thousand things. I don't remember them all. You could definitely pull up something and like do you think that oh my god yeah you're right that is yeah but i think that's a testament to like we were the our heart was in the right place all the time yeah because if i was like perez hilton or one of those guys who was like trafficking in other people's misery in the moment i would be like posting it no i mean i'm gonna get a lot of money for this and views and shit but this is shitty yeah in the moment, I would be like posting it. I'm going to get a lot of money for this and views and shit, but this is shitty.

In the moment, every time I posted something, I was like, this is in the name of trying to be funny. And then if it turned out not to be or I crossed the line or times changed, I would feel bad about it. But the reason I don't have like a long list of things is because every single blog I've ever posted was not in the name of being mean. Anything I said, I was like, I hope they don't see this. Not like they better see this. Fuck this person. The glory days of being an anonymous troll.

I loved it when we weren't big enough. I don't want them to see this. I'm making a joke with my friends right now. The 500 readers are going to look at this blog. I'm not trying to be mean. I don't want them to see that. I'm sure there are a million things you could show me, and I'd be like, ah. I feel like an asshole.

That fucking sucks. But I would also ultimately stand by it. The Kaepernick thing, I didn't. That was the one thing I really stood down on. I was like, no way, shape, or form. Everything else, I'd be like, sorry I said that, but if you're going like you know lynch me for this one i'll be like like listen there was still you know this reason behind it or whatever last one yeah last question what up kfc fuddleburg jackie the rest of the crew it's your boy rj from syracuse so my town has this swan pond in it and obviously the swans and whatnot but over memorial day weekend i guess

these kids went there at night or whatever and stole the mama swan and four babies and it was all over the news and everyone's freaking out and i guess the cops found out who did it and went there Monday to on Memorial Day to arrest them. And turns out that the kids ended up eating the mama swan. And I was like, that's crazy. I'd never think about like really eating a swan or whatnot. And then it got me thinking. Are you not reacting to this? I didn't hear.

Sorry. Yeah, restart it. Sorry. Yeah. I had something come into my mind, and I just zoned out. Eat a swan. Eat a swan, John. What up, KFC, Fuddleburg, Jackie, the rest of the crew?

It's your boy, RJ, from Syracuse. So my town has this swan pond in it and obviously the swans and whatnot but over memorial day weekend i guess these kids went there at night or whatever and stole the mama swan and for babies and it was all over the news and everyone's freaking out and i guess the cops found out who did it and went there monday to on memorial day to arrest them and turns out that the kids ended up eating the mama swan and i was like that's crazy i'd never think about like really eating a swan or whatnot. And then it got me thinking. If you could eat any like weird, exotic animal, what would it be? I think mine would be like a horse, but like a racehorse, like a Kentucky Derby horse.

I think that's the worst. Yeah. It'd be so tough. Tough. You don't want a lot of muscle. First of all, I mean, the answer is human.

You know what? The answer is human flesh. What's crazy, very recently, as in this past weekend, let's call it 72 hours ago. You ate human. I was watching the Sunny episode.

Mac and Dennis Manhunters. Yeah, good taste of that human flesh. Bloodthirsty. And for the first time, I think I was like, I don't think I'd like that. Getting old. Yeah, yeah. Would you say signs that time has passed? Yeah, I don't know how interested I am in these. I think it's happened once I cook more and I handle a lot more flesh.

I don't love it like it is like for sure my least favorite part of cooking is like taking the meat out of the package yeah yeah especially chicken like it is i don't care for it too much so i think that the uh would you rather eat human or dog? A puppy dog or a baby? Probably a puppy. I would not eat a baby, but I would eat a human. An adult, I think. I would eat an adult over a dog, but I would eat a puppy over a baby.

Having had sweetbreads recently, it's still something that sticks with me. I'm like, I need a fucking brain. It's not a normal thing to eat. Wait, what's a sweetbread? It's a lamb's brain. Why do they call it that? I don't know. Because it's a lamb brain? It's fucking gross. We'd already eaten it

and consumed it and it was in our belly. We'd be like, what was that, by the way? It was an organ. What organ? Because it was just like a kucherman on the fish. It wasn't a whole thing. Oh, during that fiasco. Yeah.

And so it is – it's still something that sticks with me. I was like, oh, I ate a sheep brain. That's a little weird. I think that would stick with me if I ate a human. I think I like to stick to the established things. Again, I wouldn't be crazy about eating a dog. Well, totally. But people have eaten dogs. We're talking about going outside the realm.

I'm talking about with the dog versus human. Oh, okay. People have eaten dogs. Got it. So it's very rare to eat a human. What about like a moose? I eat a moose. I eat a moose.

That's like eating bison. Someone else has to prepare it. I don't want to cook anything myself. I don't trust – like I overcook everything because I'm like, I don't want to cook anything myself I don't trust I overcook everything I don't know if it's fully cooked It would need to be prepared by someone If we're talking exotic

We eat hot dogs It's like pigs assholes It's not like we're not doing this already It's like the flowers It's Harry and Meghan It's all what's agreed upon the you know um why you can whack a cow and eat it up but a horse is like you're crazy yeah it's a beautiful animal what same shit the um is it exotic as in like no one eats it like i wouldn't try to eat that puffer fish the one that like will kill you if it's not prepared properly

i'd fucking if we're talking exotic i'd properly. If we're talking exotic, I'd probably do that. If we're talking exotic, it's impossible to even get. Snake? Anaconda? I'd eat the people who eat that. Alligator? I hear rattlesnake. Dolphin?

I'm off-seat for the moment. Whale? But, uh... Would you eat a manatee? Yeah. Again, prepared. Yeah. Uh, it's a little close to human.

Very close to human. I think monkey's a no. I'm trying to think. I just don't know animals that well. Um... Would you eat a giraffe? I'm just trying to think. I feel like slaughtering a giraffe is really mean.

Like, imagine somebody just, like just shooting a giraffe in the neck. It just takes so long to fall. Yeah, it falls like a tree. Then we've got to skin it. We should kill tall people. Name animals. I've had, like, from... Keep going.

Dog, cat, chicken. Leopard. Leopard. Leopard. Jaguars. Fl Jaguars Flamingo Would you eat a flamingo? Yep, for sure I'd eat anything feathered

Yeah Would you eat dinosaur? Yeah, it'd be very tough Probably be comparable to Seabiscuit We'll be talking derby horses Armadillo No Did you just google animals

you just googled animals Aaron um African say anything other than an A for those who can't hear bumblebee bumblebee

it's a B I think I have eaten bumblebees on accident God damn it I think if we're going super exotic It would be something of the sea Because I just can't think of anything All fish is kind of weird Eating lobster and shit is fucking weird

Eating an octopus If you saw an octopus for the first time You're like let's eat that. People would be like, with the fucking tentacles and the suckers and stuff, you'd be like, that's disgusting. And people are like, ugh. Frog? I've eaten frog. You have?

Yeah. Frog legs? Yeah. There was an exotic meat place by us growing up, and they would sell, like, burger patties of stuff. So in high school, we got, I think it was lion bear boar kangaroo what yeah we you've eaten lion yeah wow in in illinois yep that's crazy yeah there there there was a place it's called that just some fucking thing they shot at the chicago zoo because a kid fell in probably it where you get lion meat in illinois other than at the zoo there was this one exotic

by 2 p.m there was an exotic meats place that had a ton of shit. No, I know where you got it, but where did they get it? Oh, I think it was all imported. Because it came frozen. So we had to defrost it first. Yeah, no, you fucking kill that in Africa and you ship it over. I'm pretty sure that. Some dentist goes over for a weekend and comes back.

Yeah, caught a lion to eat for dinner. The way the place was set up, I'm sure if we asked, we could have went in the back and seen the endangered species list. It was so sketchy. I think I feel most bad about an elephant. I feel like elephants are nice and they don't deserve to be eaten. Yeah. But there's just so much meat there that it is a little mouthful. I felt pretty guilty about the kangaroo.

I'd be a kangaroo. I didn't like it yeah that's why i think it was like uh what we're discovering here is you can eat like every animal except for like a dog yeah everyone's like yeah i've had that had that tried that heard of that i had i had kangaroo but i didn't like it like uh like i'm obviously i'm a texture guy and it was very thinly sliced you know like when you get like that like carpaccio the prosciutto where it's like all fatty and it like almost becomes like a liquid in your mouth? Yeah.

That was how the kangaroo was. I think you can get kangaroo steaks. I did not have a kangaroo steak. I had very thinly sliced. It was almost on a charcuterie board. That wasn't for me. What about a mole? A mole rat?

A mole rat. No, I'd probably avoid the rat family. Yeah, any vermin, I'm out. Yeah. I'm good. And like the hair makes it tough. You know, I know cow has it. Yeah, yeah.

Hair makes it a little grosser. Take it out. The fish of the sea, the animals of the sea, it's harder for me to understand than having a personality because I don't know their noises. You said that so seriously. It's harder for me to understand their personality because they don't have noises. I don't know their noises.

It was a dead ass serious statement, Jack. He was like, now let me explain this. I don't know fish noises, so I don't know if they're happy, sad, if they're cool, if they're rude. Maybe that fish was an asshole. I couldn't hear him, so I don't know. Yeah. Hilarious. I can hear the moo dying slowly.

How about like a whale? They already sound like they're dying, so I guess a moo does too. Yeah. I'm going puffer fish. All right. Enough about eating animals. I got to go brave the fucking post-apocalyptic world.

Let's get into our interview with Jeff D. Lowe on The Dozen. We got the man himself the new trebek jeff d low is in the building what's up i mean you you actually might be in terms of the internet and like new modern whatever the most uh recognizable quiz show host out there most recognizable quiz show host for trivia between 1995 and 2020. It's very specific. Like, okay, you know, we know Jeopardy had to replace their host.

And then, like, but after that, as far as, like, quiz shows go, like trivia shows, answering question type shows, as far as I'm concerned, it's the dozen. We, I hope to get there. We have a thing down the pipeline that I hope, in the most egotistical way possible, does make me a moneybag star. That is the end goal. Yeah, is there – I mean, right now – I mean, I'm kind of joking, but I also do think The Dozen is a great show.

Right now, it's obviously limited to Barstool. Is there thoughts of becoming like breaking this out into like the regular tv game show world we so the two things we kind of have down the pipeline and i it's not a guarantee we have we want to do we have our own like hq trivia thing that i think we are going to do i think that's going to happen which i think would be a big way to get more eyeballs if we're giving stuff away and you can just kind of play trivia and it's won't be too, like, Barstool-centric where people, it's like, hey, you just play trivia, you win free shit. And, like, HQ's downfall is still kind of crazy. Oh, my God.

They went from having, like, 500 million people a day to, like, nothing. Like, the creator of One of the Couriers killed himself. Oh, well, that'll do it. That was one thing. He didn't kill himself? That'll do it. I thought he died of fentanyl, but whatever. Oh.

Well, those two things can kind of. There's a death. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. That will certainly put a – I could be wrong. That could have been another tech guy. There's a point where tech guys have done it.

Either way, that will stop you in your tracks pretty quick. So hopefully that grows it. That would be great. We're going to do like a Barstool Classic type thing where fans can actually compete, and I think the winner of that is going to get a dozen teams. Cool. But like – but you know what I mean? Like could there just be – you know what I mean? Could there just be...

I'm thinking about one day if there's a Barstool channel, if you're on Roku or Firestick or something like that, or just an internet YouTube channel, but you just have applicants. I guess you need the team aspect, so you can't just be an individual.

And I guess that's what's different. It has Jeopardy and those you can just apply. It'd be fucking awesome if we were able to like have this thing that you guys do and then also have like another show somewhere that's like a trivia show i wonder young people's trivia show would be amazing do you think that right now i i thought in the beginning you needed barstool stars to do it but some of these teams, and no slander to any of them, are lesser stars at barstool. And I think still hold people's interest.

If you answer questions right on the dozen, you could be three producers from behind the scenes. I mean, your team, you have two behind the scenes. Rudy's not as much anymore. Rudy's kind of a weird in-between. But you have two guys who are not. It's not like... But if you had

like three nobodies again no no slight to anybody versus three nobodies do you think people would no i don't i think it'd be tough i i think this show is is there's still you still need a little pop it's not even as much like star part you need like an excitement level yeah there needs to like a performer level that's the thing and i try to like yeah it's it's a tough thing that we deal with and i'm like throwing anyone to the bus but there are some teams who it's like hey no slight keep in mind keep in mind like we're doing this for i know you want to like get these right and you want to like not not chat things out and but at the same time while you not chatting things out and giving answers away is is nice for winning we're also this sucks this is airing after we reviewed the first two rounds.

Like, his team saying things out loud and fucking things up is worlds more entertaining. It's still an entertainment show. That's what I think that – I think the booze ponies have found a good middle ground, but there are definitely times with older teams where, like, I was like, I just want to be entertaining. I don't even care about winning. it is funny how much it like it's

tough though like even in a matter of weeks because what was that match a few weeks like maybe a couple months ago i was playing zd and the big boys always double snacks so we made our niche category healthy food and we ended up getting it right but we were like even if we get that wrong because we don't know healthy food right it's gonna be a funny moment for the show now in that quick amount of time i started to take it so seriously that i was like well wait i want to get these right right but when you can find the sweet spot of like trash talking and doing some funny bits not bits but just like you know a little bit of content while you're while you're still perform like you still getting them right.

That's why I think – That's why the fan vote is 50%. Well, I was going to say – Some people don't like that, but that keeps that. I think we almost need to weight it more. If you could do a fan vote or if you could do best content moment of the week gets you an extra point in the game or something. Because these guys like deserve as much as the experts for being you know the the villains who get everything right these guys are

the funniest fucking team in the game it's part of it like that's that's why like we we have i won't again i won't name names don't really maybe catch me another day maybe i would people it's like oh we need get rid of the fan vote like what's the point of playing just say it no not even frank not even frank because their fan vote. Like, what's the point of playing? Just say, what, Frank? No, not even Frank. Not even Frank, because their fan vote's great. Like, people love Frank and the Frankettes. And Frank unlocked something new. He just gets high now.

I heard that. He took an edible. I thought that. He went down to Kirk's team pretty, normally, if he went down like that, he would have flipped out. He would have lost his fucking mind. But did he play well? Did he get answers right?

Like, seven, eight points. I thought that was like kind of like straight he got stuff he was money he had one stupid guess and it wasn't even dumb he had one guess was he high as shit for my fucking phone a friend because god damn that sucked no roland was telling me he got every other question right i'm not so sure that frank didn't he didn't take a dive he's like he's like fuck him yeah no no i mean do people say oh oh, what's the point of winning if it doesn't guarantee you're going to get in? But that's not the point of the show. I was going to say. I mean, you can make the same number if you went to BCS.

Totally. Right. Or whatever they call it now. Is it still BCS? It's still BCS. No, it's a comfortable playoff. Whatever. I don't pay attention to college.

You can tell by the dozen. You missed it by 10 years. I would have still to it the BCS too. That is actually the nice part of kind of getting comfortable with your dozen teams and stuff like that. Oh, I check out. I'm like, look, if I tell you to answer this, I cheated. I'm going to be on my phone right now because – If I have an answer, I cheated.

The question could have been, is college football still called the BCS? We would have got it wrong. We would have said yes. What was the – I mean, I guess it's like a little bit Family Feud-esque because you have like your family. It's more a game show than a trivia show. That is the other thing that I try to remind people of. Like I wish it wasn't called Dozen Trivia Competition. It really is a game – it's a game show in a sense.

Yeah, yeah, but I don't split hairs. Like would you – if somebody told me it's a game show in a sense like yeah yeah but i don't i don't split hairs like would you if somebody told me it's a trivia show or game right no one says that anymore but early on people are like well that's not exactly trivia like well it's oh oh fuck that those people are assholes uh so it's a little bit family feud a little bit like stump the schwab a little bit that's a little bit millionaire what's that yeah millionaire with the lifeline so did you think of all that like you you like let me take this let me take that originally supposed to be brandon walker plays who wants to be a millionaire against people during covid right and they said don't do that like why don't we just do our own branding okay we can do our own branding i'm like i don't know if i want to do

the show because we back on serious and that's our main thing oh my god imagine that's right you are crazy so this started as a radio show it started as it was big if true on on radio big on radio holy shit me ken jack me ken jack pft withers tyler and liz no way yes i remember i thought this was a covid burn and then it was it was well yeah it was like even that i didn't i don't think i ever really put together what big if true was then we renamed it to dozenzen on radio. And so you guys were just like peppering like, you know, who won the MVP and blah, blah, blah. And Brandon would get it right or wrong. And you would just keep track of it?

It was – well, we did a versus. PFT was like – well, PFT was on our show. We were like, oh, let's do some trivia. So it was PFT and Brandon, the first matchup against Eddie, Mush, and one of our callers from radio we had callers from radio right and the first the first group to do a team was big cat roan and ready for this joey molinaro and then and then they said let's let's do che and then chicago did a team um you were one of the first teams the ultimate cheating team. The ultimate cheaters. You didn't come in until last season?

I didn't come in because I wasn't invited. You did actually play. You played the first season. Do you remember who you played with? Oh, I don't. Who was it? This will blow your mind. I already mentioned one of the names.

Was it Joey Molinaro? Yeah, and Trista. No way. I do remember that now. I remember getting an email being like like will you play on our team and i was like that's before we really had like firm we had no names i guess we had no names but that i don't count that once it became like a thing i thought like i was like i don't know how you get in the dozen i thought you had to be like invited and i was like i don't know and then i don't even

know how i ended up with rudy and jack perfect pairing that worked out great yeah but do you know like did they come to me? I actually don't remember. I don't think I came to them. I think it was Rudy. Rudy wanted to play trivia. Yeah. And I think Rudy,

I said it's perfect. I think that was like, well, Kevin has a team, that's perfect. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So maybe just go grab Kevin and then we'll find someone else. I think he's like,

let's have McCarthy. So that ended up working out great. And then this guy, when he left the Ultimate Cheaters, he was the only honorable man. It's not even I have honor. I don't have honor. You don't care.

I didn't want to put it there. I remember that. I actually, there was a time where I was living with my girlfriend and this actually is funny. We already had the stigma of being cheaters and I didn't ask her to do this. I didn't ask her to do anything.

But like, I think it was still COVID. I was still playing over Zoom. She was having it? And she had just, like, without asking, Googled something. And I don't remember what the question was. I remember she whispered to me, and she said Michigan. It was a college football. It was college something.

She's like, Michigan, Michigan. And I went Nebraska. Or maybe Wisconsin. I went to red and white. I was like, I would not know that. So maybe I do have honor. Yeah, that's pretty honorable. Totally.

But that's almost self-preservation. Because it is like, if I get this right, you know I'm cheating. And then you guys came into the tournament. And you got exposed because you had to do a lot. Got you bombed out. It is so weird. I'm like, I'm the LeBron James of trivia,

which is I just have memories. But like the, I remember that one where we were getting, we were getting locked out and I think we doubled it. So I think we got two points for it. But the,

it was a 2000 and let's call it eight ABC comedy starring Tim Allen, Last Man Standing. And that got us on the board i remember you were getting zero for everything else yeah shut up now it was like the last question to to be fair when i first started the dozen i i was like i i hate this i i think these questions are way too specific and bizarre and esoteric and and like i can't believe anybody gets these right and specifically sports which is funny because i know barcel sports and i and i

grew up such a sports fan but my brain just like doesn't retain that sort of stuff but other people do but and it seems to have as i've. They are very esoteric. Sometimes. As I got more into it, I learned about the pop culture side of it. And it does balance out. But it's a testament that it is the right difficulty to write for you. Well, that's true, too. But just in general, I mean, the difficulty level is correct because enough people here get them right. Enough people here get them wrong.

And I definitely. It was an easier season was the scoring was way up this year i made it a little easier which i think is better it's it's better nobody wants like a eight to seven game in the 15th round the hardos do you know it's like whatever and like that that is what is our fans are i love our the dozen fans but they are you're they're right up there with i was gonna say it's it's it's it's been a fans it's they don't like, but they are – they're right up there with Mina fans. I was going to say, it's Mina fans. They don't like me. So it's like they're crazy. Yeah, those are like the two worst groups. It actually – it's – what was it?

Kind of exactly what you're saying. We're like, I never really knew the sports ones, and I would get really in my own head, and I'd get sad about it. And then I was like, well, I'm just really good. I'm good at the pop culture ones. That's what – I mean, you came to this team. You made this team like an actual good actual good team well you really do need that though it's like if you don't have both like i can do the the celebrity mash i can do the chick stuff

yeah i can do music i can do celebrity gossip and i can do like pop culture and then if i have some people to answer some sports questions like and then we you know we combine for like uh food and restaurants that's kind of like a crapshoot, unless you're a fat person. Catering it to, that's why the show is what it is. If you want, people are like,

you should do randomized questions so no complaining. No, but that's not the point. The point of the show is to be entertaining, so people can score, get stuff that's close to stuff they know.

Sometimes I'm wrong. It happened to the tournament. There was just some shit that I thought something like McCarthy would know. Didn't know it. I thought like – McCarthy didn't know a lot in our second game. I thought he'd know it.

I made NBA a little older, tried to balance it out for like, you know, Clemmer to give them a fair chance as you guys. He just didn't know. It's like – And the one that the other team gets, he did know. You know, it's just like – Right, just like – It's just like if you asked –

If we went first, we would have got that. If if we went second we didn't you know go watch jeopardy like that's like this if this is just plain ass regular trivia it's not well what's funny even jeopardy like don't they have like a pamphlet to study from like we don't get that yeah you don't so it makes sense to have rather like it's it's the whole point is i want to do best to balance it out i don't finalize a map when i run run through a match, we only have three people work on the show. Not counting the graphics team. I lean on them. So the graphics team at Barstool is amazing.

They do an insane job. But if you're in the show, we have three people. I edit every match. Every match is edited by me. I write, I'd say, 50 to 60% of questions. We have one guy who helps. He just writes questions. And then our producer, Gooch, Robbie, who does – he does lightsaber barstool as well.

He does all that. He kind of oversees and does social. Do you do any fan writing questions? We have a Discord, and they'll help me write some. So a girl came up to us at our live show, and she said, I help write dozen questions. And she goes to me, if your match happens to have a question that you think Famous Amos might be the answer, I'm just saying. Walked away.

I was like, alright, alright. People discord, they send. And so we go through it. We write the questions. We have to do three a week. That sucks. Those questions are, I hate the sports questions. It's not even, it's not writing one question is very easy, by the way.

Writing two questions that are equal is where it comes down. People send me great questions that are one-offs. You've got to find me an equal. And there's some you just can't. That's a great point. We have a bank of questions that I don't think I'll ever find an equal. So we do that. We write the questions. And then I go through it, and I score it in my head.

And as long as it's within two points, we lock it in. As long as in my head I think it's going to be within two points we lock it in as long as as long as in my head i think it's going to be within two points of each other we lock the match in um try to get it even as best we can but because you know you can't account for life you can't account for bonus round you have no idea who's going to win that can't account for lifelines so then as long as within that we lock it in sometimes it doesn't look fair and that sucks like sometimes watch a match oh that's not gonna look like i mean not going to look good. I mean, obviously, it works. But this tournament, I think it would be one or two people

who are going to complain to me, and I already know what's going to happen. I think for the most part, though, especially the second round, I know yours got away from you a little bit, but what do you do in Brandon Walker? It was nuclear. It was close until he just went off. And I wonder if the footage will show it. We can just talk about it, right? Yeah, because it's going to come out. The final four hasn't happened yet. I wonder if the footage will show it. We can just talk about it, right? Yeah.

Yeah, because it's going to come out. The Final Four hasn't happened yet. So we were up in the bonus round, I think. And if we got one more, we would have won the bonus round, would have got two points, would have been tied 7-7. Brandon Walker hits, when was the McRib invented? 1981. On the nose. Because he goes, I remember I was five years old and I was the McRib invented? 1981. On the nose. Because he goes, I remember I was five years old and I had a McRib.

And I was like, you old motherfucker. But that swung it from seven to five to nine to five. And I turned and I was about to say, that's it, boys. It's over. And I was like, that's not going to help anybody right now. So I think I said something like, well, that's a shame that happened or something like that. But I knew in that moment it was over, and then he did not miss.

I thought you might claw back a little bit when Jack didn't know Todd Reising, which he could – I love Jack. He complained about it. He was mad, but that's the only Kansas guy anyone knows. Well, he said he was like, I can't think of a single Kansas player. Because he knew the other guy. And Brandon actually double-sipped on their college football. That was tough.

He goes, that's embarrassing. You had to double sip on that one and have a college football podcast. Question to you, Jack. I can't even give a guess. We had, we had, I think three football questions where we didn't have an answer.

I was like, I said, Johnny Moxley throwing words out there. So you got to give me something. You guys did that against Dave this year. Like you just couldn't miss. Yeah, well, that game was – that's my argument for making questions a little easier. Us versus ZD, we both answered every single question.

They missed one. We got all of them right. And it was a barn burner, like awesome classic. I would so much rather than that. That was great when ZD had that in their first round when they went through all of the – Never happened before. Went through every single answer in the bonus round. What was it?

It was Super Bowl MVPs. Super Bowl MVPs. Castellani knew every one. Yeah. And Eddie and Clem did too. And Dave threw a couple in there as well. Holy shit. And then we had to go – I didn't know what to do.

So we went to – we just did – You went back to like 1951 or whatever? No, it was last 30. But it went to like the – it went to the early 80s. Yeah. Because there's repeats. Brady, Eli. So it like goes further back.

Oh, you texted me about that. I didn't know the extent of that. It was, I was in the crowd for that. It was crazy. It was shocking, yeah. But Castellani must have been cool as a cucumber,

just being pretty lucky. He would, he'd snap a little bit and then he'd do his Castellani, like, Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it was, it was,

it was very, very entertaining. That's awesome. They had a couple shots. So when that happens, because there was also at a live show, I think in Arizona, Dan and Dave did a bonus round way back and forth. So when it's like an extended bonus round or someone's like 12 for 12 or, you know, whatever it is, are you just sitting there being like, fuck yes.

That is great. The Dan and Dave one in L.A. was maybe my favorite bonus round. They did like warmest cities. Yeah. And they were just – that was the first ever live event. Small crowd. That's when I think Dave really bought in for the first time. He's like, oh, this is –

Well, then he was – I can put on a fucking show. He's done a great job of figuring out how to be the star while not answering all the bulk of the questions. He cares about it as much as anyone. It's crazy. It's so annoying, too, because we – obviously, you're listening to this. We lost to ZD.

And I actually was incredibly sick yesterday. I wouldn't know Oz right now. It was like – I said that after the match. I said it. I was stunned that he didn't know it. I wouldn't know Oz. And then afterwards he laid in here and he was like on the verge of puking.

And I was like, this makes more sense. It's actually crazy how getting older, like I realized like my brain works. Oh yeah. I used to always think your brain is your brain. Yeah. It's not true. If I don't eat, if I don't. Yeah.

Yeah. I'm a little hungry. I got a little melatonin to sleep last night and I'm not feeling good. I would know this answer if I felt okay. I said, I said off this show, I could have asked said off this show I could have asked you ten times you would have known it ten times yeah I mean I said

it was akin to saying this show with an Italian mobster and his family I haven't seen the show but I know it's not an excuse I know the show

I've never seen it not that I was not that I was rooting for you guys to lose because it was a complete toss at that point you guys are going to date in the final four

that is like whatever that's cool but that was a big match people love to think that I that I like you guys are gonna date in the final four that's like that is like whatever like yeah that's cool it's cool but that was a big match for people love to think that i that i like coordinated yeah it's funny because they're a bad niche team they always like they always get the easiest niche they don't they're not they're like 500 they just do um snacks they but they don't get it what dave's changing they're not doing snacks in the final four he's like he's like he goes you got too big of a of an ocean to go through some different snacks that's what he does though and it's like

he's like they saw them do rocky he goes we're he goes the big boys were getting a movie and they're watching that movie every day for two weeks well so that's what i wonder like like i i was a little surprised sometimes by like the the they're almost i think needs to be like some standardization there is so like there is Because there is like a movie you can just memorize. Che has top five picks for NBA draft, but it's a 40-year window. Where like if, for example, you guys did college and the NBA, it was a 10-year window because it was only – it was like a larger pool. It was first round or something.

Yeah. The fun thing – I don't know if you know this funny thing about our niche being rocky four that's a will compton selection um i've seen it a bunch of times i watched it right before the match neither of us knew it like dana answered so fast that it didn't no one could really tell i don't think neither of us knew the answer to that dana watched it for the first time on his iPhone. That's probably better. That's why he did it that way. Just watch.

What was the question? It was in the happy birthday Pauly scene. What did Pauly want instead of the robot? Like, what did he... He said he actually wanted. Yeah, like, he probably just... I don't think you said robot, because that's what I was going to say.

What was it then? He wanted it instead of something. Sports car. Yeah, the sports car. I thought, having watched the movie already, I thought, I was like,

I know what the question's gonna be. I thought I nailed it. I was so excited. You knew what the question was gonna be? What'd you think it was? What did

Ivan Drago's wife win gold medals in? Ooh, that is good. Oh, now I can't ever ask you that question. There are certain people, like Gia has animated movie expert in her bio on Twitter.

I said, that shouldn't be in there. I said, because you ain't ever getting an animated movie question now, because now it looks like I'm just giving you your name. There's just some things you shouldn't say, because now I can't. There's some times where I just can't give it to you. But that's, yeah, so ZD's going to change theirs up. But they had, I should have booted Dana. I should not have let Frank answer.

That was crazy. When he said, Frank, do you know the answer? I'll say this. I saw Frank's reaction, and I thought it was no. But any sort – like you might have interpreted it as no. I based it off he gave you the same face when somebody – he was in the crowd, and I was like – and he didn't know it. So we'll see. He did know it.

He took a dive. That's the one thing that bothers me. There's – when people say, like, the Dave thing, because I actually think it takes away the value of the fact that Dave's, like, really good at that role in the game, and it's, like, one of the most important – The more entertaining things to watch. He did – they're in the Final Four because he didn't listen to Eddie. They're like, joke him no.

And they're like, no. The whole reason ZD got Dave is because Rico didn't play because he didn't want to play against him. No. And they're like, no, the whole reason ZD got Dave is because Rico didn't play. Cause he didn't want to play against cons. And they were horrible because they, they would talk to himself. And so Dave came in and he stopped doing that. So they were like, no,

don't go. No. And he goes, no joke him. No, they won the bonus round. Yeah. The previous match,

they're like zingers. And, and they're like, no, I don't think it's zingers. I don't know. I guess just go snowballs. Dave's like,

no zingers. And they got it right. And that's just like, I think usually if you're in, if you're in the ballpark, if you know that topic, your gut is probably usually right. You know what I mean? Yeah. He even knows –

like one thing that Booze Ponders, we got to huddle up and get better at in the future going forward is using our lifelines. But even Dave's like good at that. He knows when to play. He knows the lifelines as well as anybody. He did it to White Sox, Dave. They played Chicago this year. White Sox, Dave.

They played third most matches in show history. He's like, we double sip here. It's a steal. And Dave's like, it's a steal. He goes, you dummy. How many of you played? He goes, you don't know the rules of this game. It's just the one thing where people, when they talk about Dave,

they just want to yell at me that I'm just grooving matches to him. But I'm like, stop with that. A priest effect, this is entertaining. And he's taking this seriously. Dave's taking this seriously as anything in the world. He wouldn't do a podcast when it was like, this is going to make you millions of dollars. He's like, nah, but I'll do the dozen every single time. It's incredible.

He takes it seriously. It's hard to get him into things. So when he's into it, it's fucking awesome. I would argue Dave takes the dozen more seriously than anything else he does right now. Maybe he thinks outside of Barstool. Yeah, in his Barstool. Totally. I thought you were about to say takes the dozen the most seriously.

That clearly goes to one man and one man only. You are keeping Kirk Manahan alive. Yeah. No, no, no. I'm not kidding you. He said yesterday. He basically said the mini golf was irrelevant to him. He's like, this is now the greatest thing I've ever done.

I think his children would be fatherless. He is. And, you know, it's so funny. He was on our show yesterday. And he goes, you know, he said, I'm retiring after this year. And then he got one playoff win. And I go, so are you still retiring? he goes well you know

that was a tough one I will say that one that is like kind of the cool thing about it and I always post after the tournament I did it yesterday I always say I've done it three years I'm acting like I've done it for 50 years but I post the grid of all the teams

that's my favorite I love taking a picture of all the teams and I love just making the grid of all because I think it's the coolest thing especially now that we only had one person in office, and Patty asked his fiance. He's like, can I go to New York for the wedding? And she's like, no. No.

So he tried. He tried to be here. He's like, all right. I gave it a shot. And then he goes, what if it's just one day? She's like, no. And he was going to go to Chicago if they made it. When is the wedding?

Like tomorrow. So he's like, no, no, no. That's fair. But I do get kind of. So he's like, no, no, no. That's fair. But I do get kind of sentimental. It's like, you guys played what? Like 10 times here? You guys played a bunch. I'm like, I'm really appreciative of that.

And so you have Frank Atz, who played for three years. Kirk, I'm like, god, one of these teams have to die here today. Your first round match was another tough one. It's like two teams who had brutal losses. Like you were smocking. Like Titus just flies in for one. It's like two teams who had brutal losses. Like you were smocking. Titus just flies in for one. It's like, man, it's tough.

I don't see both teams moving. You know, it's funny. Sometimes I'm in dozen mode, and I'm like, it's the most important thing in my life. And then, like yesterday, the Yak was running long, and it was pushing back our match. And then it was like right on the border of of I'm about to miss real-life responsibilities. And I snap out of it, and I'm like, what am I doing? This is a fake trivia league. Guys, we got to go.

Come on, come on, come on. It is important, but it depends. Sometimes I'm in when I got nothing to do and I'm really into it. I'm like, this is the most important thing in the world to me. Other times I'm like, guys, come on, relax. When I see some of the teams, the way they react to losses and questions and stuff sometimes, I'm like, are you an adult? Are you a child or an adult?

Give me a fucking break. There is a level of, whatever, I'll sound like a bitch here. There's a level of disrespect, and I got a little pissed this week. There was a couple times I was like i was like with players or fans players players you gotta chill fuck yeah like you gotta you gotta like i need you to take like a a step back like there's a couple people who could probably be an asshole to me because like you don't owe me your time nobody owes me their time yeah like you especially don't owe me like if like dave you guys probably don't owe me your time at all like you don't but there's a couple like there's some people who click bitch

and moan like it's like bro this is the best chill the fuck you do like five minutes like i i like you don't owe me your life but like maybe don't like stand in front of me and act like i'm like ruining like chill the fuck out i will admit that in the beginning of the dozen i remember being like you know so what what are we we all get a cut of this action here. Like, like we're all making this show happen. And then when I got, when I played in it and I realized like the, like the question writing and the work that goes into it, I was much more like,

you know, you deserve everything. And I hope, I mean, I don't, I don't know if I, uh, would cry every year at the end of giving a speech.

Like you do. That first year was so much. I did. It was only the first year. That first year was, so keep in mind though, the first year. No, that was emotional time for you. that first year was so much i did it was only the first year that first year was so keep in mind though the first year no that was emotional time for you the first year we did we did every single match in a two-day span every single match and keep in mind when i write like so i had to write ahead of time the second round i had to write a variation

of all the different matches for your area though i tried a variation of you guys were experts misfits family smocking versus experts mis Misfits, family. Smokin' versus experts, Misfits, family. Experts versus you. I don't think I realize that you think it matters that much. Like, you think the questions you wrote for me versus Smokin' wouldn't work if it was me versus Booze Ponies? Like, I think it's still... For some teams, it doesn't matter. Yeah.

For others, it does. Like, Frankats, they only get one college because they don't know all college stuff. And I balance that out a little bit. Like, I'm not going to give them both i i balance the matches can we stop getting college questions yeah but jack but jack's good at them yeah if you guys say you're not like that's like when you guys play a certain team you didn't you didn't get college basketball who'd you play you played oh uh the the honkers for example excuse me they don't know they're not college they're not college sports if i give them two college sports they're done like they have no shot like well like it's called stacking the deck it's a legal and regular game shift we're not a real game but that's why it's content

that's why i make it even so i balance it out a little bit and like there's another thing that comes your way that helps for sure like that's that's how it always kind of balances out so i have to write a bunch of those and for the first year it was i had no question help and it was two days we had a little help. And it was two days. We had a little help, but it was like two days. Yeah, you were on empty on that one. And I was legitimately like I had nothing to think. I didn't sleep overnight.

I just was here. I had a mental breakdown before the championship because we had to write it. I had never written a match in less than two hours. We wrote it in like 30, 45 minutes. It was me, Nick, KB, Brandon. And I actually, in the room, I said, this isn't going to happen. I was like, this is not going to happen. I go, what, was I going to kill myself at that moment?

I was like, what was going to happen? The dramatics. We can't do it. We can't do it. It's not going to happen, guys. When it wrapped, I just like, I had nothing. And then last week. That picture of you is so funny.

Oh, my God. It was brutal. And Frank checking his watch. I know. I was fighting it back so hard. I was like, ah, fuck it. I got no shot. that picture of you is so funny oh my god it's brutal but and frank checking his i was i know i was fighting it back so hard i was like i was like ah fuck it so i got no shot and the last three days was easy and this year now we've gotten but i like i mean when somebody finds their thing you know and like zone hones in on it and like and it comes to fruition it's it's a big moment of your career in life so that was also like yeah like professionally right because like that was i

remember your blog afterwards and i think fairly recently before that david like called you and ken jack into right the well yeah it was a way it was a ways after ways after but it was still like it was the culmination of all that yeah it was like it was kind of my thing that like really took off and i'd appreciate everyone that like came in and did it because it was again it was a stupid covid thing yeah and just kind of just like shout out to it was like a couple people here who like really believed it like mb and hank people find like people behind the scenes hank but like it's like it was two people for the mb and another i mean i had always thought they bought into it i like they won at barstool i may not they won once we started getting more personalities i was like we need

to have a game show of some sort and i remember Pat McAfee did like one game show or something like that and never did it again because it was like a logistical nightmare and they were like no we're not doing that anymore and I'm like that's not that's a bad idea like there's something here and I was thinking more about like Barstool trivia

us versus fans or fans versus each other or something like that it was ripe for that but it's a fucking lot of work to make it happen the thing the thing that i'm like the thing that i love to see the most and you posted your instagram story yesterday is that i like seeing everyone here yesterday it's like we don't get that no yeah no it's the one thing that we all do together yeah but it's also like i we've been ragging on uh for their stupid, corny ideas on how to, like, do stuff together. It's hard to get strangers, coworkers, some of you are friends, some of you are not, some of you are perfect strangers, together to do something without feeling like it's kindergarten and the teacher is, like, rallying the class together.

So when you find something that everybody does enjoy doing and there's an element of competition, there's an element of content, there's fans, all that shit, it's super rare. So, I mean, there's a reason why everybody does do it. There's a reason why the fans like it, obviously, as much as they fucking complain. It's not just the fans either. I think within Barclays, we're talking about that with Dave, where this is what I'm passionate about. I think that it brings the company together the most. I had a five-minute conversation with Gia the other about. I think that it brings the company together the most. I had a five-minute conversation with Gia the other day. Yeah.

Like recounting a match. You know what? And I was explaining to her how our match with ZD went, and it was like, I don't have anything against you, obviously. I liked you, but I don't know her. I said to her, I go, she sits right out there, you know? So I walk out, and she's got her headphones on, and I just, like, appear in front of her desk, and she, like she looks up at me, and I go, will you go against your sister?

She leans back, and she looks up, and she goes, for your mom, I will. Because when I was – I missed one. Rudy brought Gia on as my replacement. Oh, right, right, right. And then she was so good that Bob Fox was like, you're on my team. She was like, you guys brought me into the league. Mincy didn't want, by the way.

Mincy didn't want her. Really? He's like, I don't know about that. We think about it. And then Robbie traded him. But she goes, for your mom, I will. Like, I'll go against my blood because you guys brought me into this. That's the kind of shit that, like, you can't get that out of Wawa.

It's like I was taking a picture of Minahan's team, and I looked over, and it's like former NFL leader Arian Foster, and it's like Rico Bosco. Quigs. Quigs. It's just the funniest combos of people. Yeah, like Jack McCarthy, I never said more than two words to him. Now I text him on the side, hyping him up or making him feel better we'll get him next time champ like you know it's like it's crazy the cool thing is too and and

we're not like we we do well we don't do like we don't we're not breaking records on youtube i was i was gonna ask that what are like what's your high water mark like what was the reviews i think the arizona the live final four and they're gonna that's like a combined so it's tougher to read i think it was like it was like probably 400,000, I think. I mean, but like weekly, we get anywhere between 90,000 to 100,000. I think there's a sweet spot we got to find. I think this season drags longer

than it probably should. But we have to find that sweet spot. But I mean, we still were consistently getting like 100,000 views. What I think, within the week, what's tough for you, within those like two, three days.

Yeah, it's a lot, dude. I think what's tough, it probably feels like it drags, but you got like 30 teams to work in. That is the issue. I would play 20 games if I could. Right. That's what I wish I could.

We had every team play. We balanced it out pretty well this year, and I'd like to see that. It's a thing that I'm going to have to talk to people, too. It's like, hey, I just want to, like, do I limit it? I know that i have this i have a nightmare thought last night where i'm like do i like we either i'll get four teams this year and i was like oh you did i'm a i'm a bitch i didn't text any of the teams it's like you're gonna find out via twitter like i feel bad like they don't owe me anything but i also do i

do remember i also don't know them shit it's notgated them from the tournament or they don't play? They relegated in January. Four teams got the boot in January. I think they now come back. How are some teams, like foreplay being so bad, how are they so bad? What? Foreplay's like terrible. But it's Riggs, Trent, and Frankie.

Those are three pretty smart guys. It's not that, though. It's not like smart. You've got to know the right mix of stuff. Though they started to get it a little bit this year. They had some tragic losses. They did win their last fight. They beat the Honkers.

You also figure out, in the beginning, now we know we double our music every single time. We're 14-0. So that's two extra points there. Yeah, that kind of stuff. You've got to know where to put your phone. It's more about the balance. You can't be calling on something that doesn't need to be called on.

You've got to save it for when you know you may get it stolen. You've got to know the game really well. That's why the certain – You've got the double sip when you're between – Yeah. When you narrow it down to two things and you've said that out loud, you have to double sip because then the other team is just going to have the – Right.

Shit like that. There's some calls where it's like yesterday. Fatal thing for the Frank guys yesterday. They did not get – They had to call on their mashup calling on a mashup is it's it's tough because it's going to probably get stolen potentially but you kind of need to know it mashup is a thing you got to know yeah because now they didn't have they didn't have it for college basketball and then rico stole it yeah so it's like they needed to save that's like a two or three point swing yeah Yeah. They missed their mashup.

I was pretty shocked they missed it. And that ended up being the difference. Everything was different in overtime. Now, we're talking about how much everyone here loves this game and how awesome it is and yada, yada, yada. You clarified. But you put quite a scare into, I think, everyone last night. Well, you said next year might be the last year. Yeah, I did.

Having talked to you, it seems like that's not going to be too true. And, again, you kind of clarified last night yeah i was like it's it's like i was i'm kind of kidding though i always worried about getting stale i always do i you know we talked about it a lot we've talked about it ad nauseum with like saturdays for the boys and how like when people were like this shit is so played out is when it was like its biggest money-making success and it's like it, you know what? It's more actually, though, comparable to a TV show where writers are usually like, I have four seasons in me.

And the network's like, we want eight. And you're like, ah, let's do six. And you kind of, because you don't want it to drag on. But something like this. But there's a nice thing like you guys. You guys at the end of last season became more established. You were like firmly one of our staple teams. You guys were throughout the year. I think this tournament makes you guys. You guys, at the end of last season, became more established. You were, like, firmly one of our staple teams. You guys were throughout the year.

I think this tournament makes you guys – you were going into the tournament, but now it's, like, a whole different thing. Like, the Booth Punishers are a staple team. I do think – So I think I need that to keep happening. Yeah, I think that happens every year. But Dave's worried about – The final of last year, all of a sudden, next year, you're, like, really into it.

You know? There is that. There was something that was, like – wasn't there supposed to be something this year, maybe last year, that was, like, into it you know there is something that was like uh wasn't there supposed to be something this year maybe last year that was like the dozen on steroids or something that extreme that is that is still happening is that i think that worries me no that's a nick that's a me and nick nick teraney project i'm just saying that should be like separate it mostly you should keep it doesn't it's like because i think i think it's like double there's forever it's our version of Double Dare.

That's fine but I just don't think that that should become the norm. Oh no it won't. Because I don't think you should worry about getting staled.

That's more of an offshoot like remember we're not doing anything from now until October. From June 8th through October we're off. Right. I get what you're saying.

It's like a little like here are the teams you know and love here's John falling down the stair a slippery staircase like that's basically what that is.

I think what you should do more of is what you did I think at the All-Star break you do just music, you do just pop culture you do these little spin-offs I want to do a 1v1 tournament the summer of April that kind of stuff is cool but I think people will watch this I think

it's a very fun premise for them us getting the HQ trivia thing is a big thing that I want to have happen twice a week because we do have a lot of non-Barstool fans. Big Cat made that joke the first season. He's like, I got all these people yelling at me when they were like – when they didn't really embrace the bad boy thing and they were just kind of mean in there to all the teams

and people were really mad at them. Big Cat's like, I'm looking at all these people tweeting me. He goes, none of them follow me. And that we do have that. Like we also have a pretty strong female fan base, which is neat that we're not just – that's why I love leaning into pop culture. What you really have is I think you have – I'm still cautious of it. I think you have sit down and watch on TV type viewer.

That's what I – that's why we moved it. We moved it tonight. People are so mad at me. But I'd rather – I'd rather – But whether they watch it live or on demand, I think it's like you sit down with your girlfriend, your boyfriend, who you live with, your guys, and you put it on and watch it that way. That's pretty rare. We all try to get people to do that for podcasts because we want YouTube numbers and we want video and all that shit. But we're putting a square peg in a round hole.

We used to be at 10, 11 a.m. This is – you went from audio. It's a video product. Yeah, and that's what what i that's what means i guess the most to be there and like you know we've we've tried to do plays for like the barstool main page on instagram like we don't even go up on the main page that's not a shot like gas then we just it doesn't translate like that's not what we are like we don't we do we have tiktok stuff but like i think there are my main thing is i think if you put there it wouldn't do good like right away in person stuff works but if you did like the headlines

like trivia team answers the exact same wrong i don't know how you would word it but that like that kind of shit in person stuff works i think i think you know stuff on the in like the zoom format yeah yeah yeah inperson shit does work. We've had some really good in-person moments that have worked well. Because I think whether you know the show or not, like I just did a One Minute Man on Wheel of Fortune the other day, and it's like my audience is not a Wheel of Fortune audience, but you see a headline about the worst puzzle in history,

and you just watch that kind of shit. That's why game shows work. It's just everybody knows them and everybody, you know? So if you have a moment that transcends the barstool bubble, I think those kind of things work. We've been lucky that the Zoom thing hasn't killed us. Like, because a lot of like people say Zoom shows suck. Well, that's what keeps it alive because getting together in person all the time. It would never happen.

It would never work. Yeah. And which we do up the – I know people love to rag me for my editing mistakes, whatever. Do I? Yeah. Got to film – got to write three, film three. I mean three i mean it sucks trust me i'm embarrassed when it happens but yeah we don't write i gotta write three film three edit three in like three days we always have a little cut i we got way better at the end of the season we had a better like check process but sometimes we just don't

have the time to check the fucking match yeah and so it's like i hope it's good yeah yeah i hope i like that though so but that that is like that a thing. I try to at least keep the look nice where you're not, like, watching a dumpy Zoom show, which is, like, important. No, I mean, the crap. But you're right. The appointment thing with the show is very, like, I, when people tell me, and they talk to me about the doves, and they say, I watch, I watch with, I'll tell you what. Most DMs I get on Instagram are from someone who's clearly got an engagement photo or a wedding photo. They're watching with their husband. Because it's, like, it's a barstool thing that, like, you know. It is good, they're watching with their husband or their, because it's like,

it's a barstool thing that like, you know, it is good for boys and girls to watch. Right. That's very important. Yeah. Like that's, yeah,

I've gotten that a lot. Like me, like I high five my fiance last night when you got that answer at the last second or whatever. And it's like, I got, I got stopped in the airport to go into LA and it was just, it was a group of girls.

We want a bachelor party. Like, Oh, we need a picture. Our boyfriend would be so jealous. Like, you know, I'm glad you watched the show.

Like that's awesome. Like that. I, I want to you know I'm glad you watched the show like that's awesome like that I want to make sure that literally anybody can watch I think that's what it is for the fans and I think for us I think it is

it sounds silly but it's like this is a company full of people who grew up playing sports who had to give it up when they started to suck yeah

and now are old and broken down and can't even play in a fucking men's league or don't or do that anymore and now like I you even play in a fucking men's league or don't do that anymore. And now, like, you finally get a little bit of competition back. I don't think – I've said it until I'm, like, blue in the face. I don't think anyone has really caught it.

But you guys will get it. I just think that we need to even more embrace, like, beyond what the content side does, the fact that we have our own esports league with this show. We have our own sports league. Yeah. Like, we have an own sports league. Yeah. Like we have an eSports league. Yeah. And like I wish I had more ideas to like really like – You mean like we have all the teams ready?

We have teams. You can go play video games. We have fans. We're going to go to Chicago, and there's going to be fans that do the bad boys chant. They're going to scream for Fran when she does match-ups. Like there's allegiances in fan bases. Yeah.

And it's like we – I think creatively like I'm just tapped like i just when i sit down i think about the show i just start drooling i think sometimes i just don't have it but like i like we gotta have more again the content's like yeah it's like i wish like as a company we embraced it more and we're like fuck and we do the company embraces it like for sure i feel like there's got to be an like another someone here's got to be like we have our own like esports league we tried to make like we tried to make our own literal esports league with the with when we went to those mood jerseys yeah but like we have we have a thing here but like we

have i don't know why we abandoned jenga that worked too right like you just have if your dozen team just played wait wasn't that what it was no no oh they tried the second we had we had you had teams like yeah. We have that. They have logos. They have stats. They have jerseys. No, they weren't finished, by the way, which is a real bummer. Fuck that guy.

I never want mine to be finished. Okay, that's fair. I want my stuff. He had nothing on his team. I wish we could really, like, oh, whatever. We're not going to be, like, you know, we're not going to be, like, a Call of Duty team that makes millions. But, like, we have something here.

Like, I just, there's another level that we haven't unlocked no you're right i think you can just now take all the trios and they do all sorts of shit on camera yeah in front of you know for for people whether it is jenga or table games or whatever like there are fans of your mom there are fans of the booze pong yes like when will says booze pound like i fucking i love that yeah that's amazing yeah which again that's what i try to like i gotta i only have to have a hard combo with some teams and be like hey you just gotta step it up the the combo like your combinations like you don't need to have three electric insane people like jack mccarthy's not you know he's not a crazy person no but he like he's a blue guy right he fights with he plays yeah he plays with

brandon walker or any like you gotta do that like like outside the office he's a boob guy, right? He fights with Brandon Walker. You got to do that. Outside the office, he's not running around fucking slapping people. But he turns it on a different way. He's not a content guy. That's you got to be more like him or like Rudy. You need to channel. Otherwise, you're just kind of a boring team. That's not the point of this show.

I'm glad you see it that way, too. Like I said, there have been times where I'm like I'm fine even when we had an identity as the cheaters you have to have some kind of be the villain be the losers Robbie Fox won a championship he cares a lot about the show

but he said my most fun match I think was when we lost to Foreplay he's like it was so stupid it was so dumb but he goes like that was hilarious it's great content

I mean it's just it's like anything in life don't take it too seriously I say it about Answer the Internet and KC anything in life. Don't take it too seriously. I say it about Answer the Internet and KC Radio in general and kind of podcasting in general. And One Minute – all I should I do. It is about taking non-serious topics seriously but not too seriously. It's like we're arguing about if a polar bear fights a shark in a pool.

I'm screaming until I'm red in the face like it's the most important thing. But then also I'm not going to have hard feelings about the argument afterwards because there's also that. It's like Ken Jack doing Get Fucked was amazing. Right. And if there was like actually bad blood or beef, like I guess that's good for the show. But it's also like you guys are really like are we actually i mean problems with our with our relationship now because of the dozens like it's like take it seriously but don't overdo it and you find that sweet spot and that's that's exactly what it is man it's great i i for one hope you keep doing it like i don't think it

will get stale i don't think you have to worry about that. I think we can spin it off, but I think it's also – if you've got a good thing, at least let it start to falter before you pull the plug. Because why would you – don't shoot yourself with the foot. I will say I was like – I wasn't looking for the reaction. People were like, what the fuck? And I was like, all right, maybe keep it going. I was like – I was so sick last night, and I was like, I was taking fucking – I think you're just starting. I agree.

Yeah, oh, agreed. Like I just said, I just bought into it. Like I think people are really – I agree completely. You guys, your teams are a good example of that. And I was like – I didn't have the energy to reply, but I was like – I was sad. Will texted me. He goes, bro, what?

Because like forever, you know, Brandon and them have played like 100 matches by now, right? And the teams that are in it, like they might be like – but I think they're addicted to it. So they can't stop. They're addicted to it. And then the new teams who are buying in are like, I'm just starting to get a taste. Fran reached a new level here. Fran is kind of the face of the show at this point. She is the most popular player hands down.

Like Kirk's one of the three MVPs. He's – like there is like multiple. Which is so cool for her because, I mean, Kirk's one of the three MVPs. There is multiple. Which is so cool for her. She's very popular in Chicks in the Office, but all of a sudden she's got a rabid game show fan base. That's insane. Yeah, it's cool. Like I said, it's a long way from fucking Duncan Awards.

If I don't do this, what am I going to... What happened at Duncan Awards? They didn't dress up. Yeah, they didn't dress up. And it was one of those, like, what do you I going to? Oh yeah, what happened at Duncan Awards? They didn't dress up. Yeah, they didn't dress up and that was one of those like, you know,

what do you guys do here? kind of, kind of. I wore shorts and I wore a nice Tommy Bahama zip-up pullover. There was some talk about, definitely should have dressed up.

There was some talk about what you could wear and what you shouldn't wear and I, well, what was bullshit was like, Smitty wore the

Michael Rapaport shirt and he, Dave liked that though. Right, but I was like, I was wearing my fucking, my gear, but you know know he doesn't like that so yeah i got me me and ken jack caught the oh i was gonna tell that story that's so i got i was gonna get in trouble no matter what happened i got so so if if people recall me getting pulled in the radio properly

he dave wasn't he really mad about he's mad about the so the duncan awards was a few years ago it's a big award show that we used to do every year we give out like best blog and best moment whatever it was like in internal barstool awards and everyone is supposed to dress up and then we did it a few years to the point that it was like do we really have to dress up anymore there was a rumor rumbling that like oh it's whatever yeah well should have ignored that a couple people I asked I've been there a year that I thought were pretty influential at the company. I don't know, like the CEO. And I was given some information that the director of content did not agree with.

But anyway. So Dave got very mad about people if they did not put on a suit. Robbie Fox, another one. Jared. So I got pulled in the radio and reamed out because apparently Erica was told that I wasn't doing anything at the company. I was doing nothing. I was coming in just sitting there doing nothing. I was watching sports all day, which the irony of that, by the way.

The people who just do that now. That's the company. What happened the week before was I used to do all the graphics for our draft shows nba and nfo draft shows i'd i'd crop out like 200 players and make video graphics for the draft show i would i'd help produce up until last year because i was on the road for barstools america i'm sure you're very proud of that and that was great that is a glorious waste of your time yeah so i did that i but it was like that was like whatever grind do all that whatever so i did that for like two years the week prior to the duncan awards we did that

and now if anyone if you edit video when you're exporting the video you're not going to use your computer for other shit because you're going to fuck that up like the computers rammer that needs to be running the video thing so i was doing that for 200 players so i do it be done input the next guy do it and so i did that for like two, three days. And the Women's World Cup was on. So I just had my computer next to me and watched Women's World Cup. Like Dave actually was watching like Michigan and the College World Series. We were chatting there, just doing that.

My computer's there, just doing that. It looked like I was probably doing nothing. Right. Somebody narked on me. I have an idea who it is. I have a pretty good idea. I don't know what to say. Say it.

Not worth it. We'll leave it out. We'll leave it out. Say it. I'm pretty sure it was Keith. No way. So I got narked on. is i have a pretty good idea i don't want to say it not worth it we'll leave it out we'll leave it out say it i'm pretty sure so i got i got an arc done uh and so he went and i'm pretty sure i don't know for a fact but it's like there was a moment that duncan awards that i was like i looked back and i was like that's weird so he i think or somebody told gaz and erica that i wasn't doing anything and i didn't work.

I didn't do shit. And keep in mind, I was still editing LCB at that time. I didn't blog a ton, but I blogged here and there. Like, I was still getting my, you know, whatever. Didn't dress up. I gave Dave ammo. Dave was like, you lose. He took our salaries and combined them and said, you lose the company this amount of money.

And just destroyed it. Erica says, you don't do any work. And I went around, I'm like, what the fuck is that yeah i go i go what i go what why are you telling dave i don't do any work and pft went in defending me he's like he's like he preps radio every morning he does like you write that was story and trivia for radio and pft was like he's like ah so i i was like in the doghouse dead that mandalorian happened dave and i are like yeah but like that's like that's like trent with the the fucking Iowa football. Like, these weird things.

If Mandalorian comes out, doesn't come out, you're probably, you're probably, don't worry. And now it's like, and now, you know, talk us to Disney. But it's like, it's one of those things. It got narked on me. And I was doing, like, the most work I'd done since I'd been there. I edited, like, 300 videos. And then. I remember you defending yourself in radio.

And I remember listening and being like, that was a pretty good defense. Well, you know what? There was a time, probably right around then and i think yp was a victim of this we were like as a company just learning about like behind the scenes work and seasons of shows and off seasons of shows and it's not just like every single day you grind for 12 straight hours on something and bang your head against the wall and block you know like there is other ways like it doesn't even happen for a year after that. Right.

And I head down, and if you don't think I watched one, I did not watch one fucking sporting event in this office. Yeah. For like a year. I mean, I should have dressed up. That was still the crux of that. Like Dave had whatever. I was really dumb.

I got that just accidentally. Yeah, I know Nate did that too. Nate's like, he's like, you know, I walked out, and then it's like, I had a blazer. I'll bring the jacket. I was just bored. And it was like two hours until the show, and I was like, you know, I walked out and then it's like, I had a blazer. I'll bring the jacket. I was just bored. And like, we had no, it was like two hours until the show. And I was like, I guess let's go home and put on clothes.

We can just park it. But yeah, it was, there was a moment with Duncan Woods when he pointed at me and Ken Jack and yelled at us. And the person who I thought narced me stood up and clapped like this. Oh, wow. And I was like, well, that, yeah, it's pretty fucking clear. I was like, man, oh man. I was like, really?

So to this day, it was, yeah, that sucked. No way. I can't believe it. I mean, I also, I fully, oh, man. I was like, really? So to this day, yeah, that sucked. No way. I can't believe it. I mean, I also fully can't believe it. Again, I'm not for sure, but I truly don't because I truly don't know who else would have said it. I don't like – like if it was Gaz, I'd just be – I'd razz. But he wouldn't do that. Like I don't think Gaz – like Gaz would have done it in like a fun like I didn't know Gaz does that

Gaz does that for content in a funny way yeah and like so what the only so that'd be the only other person no

man well and now Ken Jack every now and then Ken Jack talked about that we're like motherfucker dude come full circle on it

because I think now you know you'd be one of the last people that people in the office would like well she told me on the left office she's like make sure

and I've had fans be like dude you always want you always got to tell people how much work you do. I go, yeah. I go, because the CEO after apparently saying I do nothing was going to fire me, told me, make sure everyone knows all the work you do. I go, okay, that's why we do that.

I do hate that. I go, I will do that for the rest of my time here. I'm not like a contract. Like when I resign, like I resign recently. I'm not like a contract clap, and I won't do that, whatever. And not that, look,

if you resign here and you want to do that, like that's great. But like, I'll make sure when I, when I won't do that, whatever. Look, if you re-sign here and you want to do that, that's great. But I'll make sure when I'm up a show that I produce out there, I'll make sure people know. That's the level I'll go. Unfortunately, the atmosphere we have here, you do got to do that sometimes. There is a lot. You kind of touched on it with knowing behind the scenes. There is a lot.

And it kind of happened yesterday, which I didn't fully understand. I just saw a clip on Twitter with Castellani kind of snapping. Oh, yeah. I didn't know what that was all about. I just saw the segment, the clip. But Castellani went into the act and yelled at Dan about how people – there's an idea here that people who don't work here don't work. And I think the larger idea is that people who do work here don't work.

Yeah, there's a million people who do not. That's not an idea. That's a fact. Yeah. But I think there was, particularly in that time, probably 2019-ish, and it's still rampant around the office, and I partake on

times, and I listen to times, and all that shit. I think everyone does it pretty naturally's pretty natural in an office. But like watching other people's work. And I've gotten away from that in the last few years. But in 2019, it was heavy. Particularly with people who have been here a long time. It's like, oh, I do this, blah, blah, blah. And I think now everything's just accepted.

It's just an open idea. Like 15% of people work. My only blogs throughout the week are a preview dozen blog, the video itself. I think now everything's just accepted. It's just an open idea. Like 15% of people work. My only blogs throughout the week are a preview dozen blog, the video itself, and then if it's live. I mean, I also probably write as much as anyone in the company, just in a completely different way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But yeah, I mean, that was a terrifying time. I was like, who the fuck is watching? I was like, what the fuck?

Yeah, I mean, now I'm a remote starting in August. Yeah, you're going to L.A.? Huntington Beach. Wow. What brought this move? So I actually was going to move to Austin close to my mom. And I've always wanted to go to L.A., so that was going to happen. Like, hopefully there's some cool shit we can do out there.

Hell yeah. But I talked to Erica a little bit, and Dave was all on board with it, and Erica mentioned L.A. too. And wanted to move out there, so I wanted to Erica a little bit, and Dave was all on board with it, and Erica mentioned L.A. too. Wanted to move out there, so why not move earlier? My girlfriend also lives out there, so there's another reason to move out there. It is still close to Austin. It's a much easier flight by like an hour or two.

And there's an office out there. There is. I'll work for my apartment. My office will be my apartment. But also, I will say I was out there for – I've been out there for a lot since January. Most of what I do is I'm an early – I'm a morning person. I write during the day. We edit.

It gets posted, and then we record. We record late, like 8. And then it's like, well, I'm up. I already blew through dinner. I'm going to be late for dinner. And I was doing it in California, and I'm done by like 6. It's so much easier. It's like, holy shit.

I can eat dinner. I can sit down. I can have a real life, wake up early in the morning and like, so the schedule gets tighter and I'm like, I got to get shit done quicker.

Editing was, but I was like, this is a better quality of life. Also, I do like the beach, so that's another. You won't have to do the spray tan. You'll have a real tan. Yeah, I know.

This is a very fake tan. I was a little dark this week i thought i don't know before the before yeah before you um it settles in and then the tv there was tommy and you both have done black i didn't i didn't think you were that bad this i will say the monitor in front of us people obviously won't see this the monitor in front of us was tilted and it didn't dawn on me. When it's tilted, it looks a little darker. Somebody said to Jeff, like, you look tan. Like, kind of like confused. Maybe it was

one of the guys in Smokin' and I was like, yeah. Yeah, it was your match. Donnie said that. Yeah, he puts the blazer on. He's got the tan and the things on his eyes. Oh, by the way, I wore the worst we don't do foot content. I wore the worst shoes possible. Look at the back of my fucking feet. Oh, by the way, I wore the worst. We don't do foot content.

I wore the worst shoes possible. Look at the back of my fucking feet. Oh, they're just tearing you up. Oh! It's bruised and bloody. You can't even see your feet, can you? Which is, I wore those shoes to a wedding. They were nice shoes.

I wore those shoes to a wedding like two weeks ago. Great, no issues. I stood. I stood. Just standing still. And it killed me i yeah but i yeah i did ask keegs and fran i was like hey is this like is this too dark

am i because i'll tell you what i don't know i'm not i mean i'm i'm with with you guys i was i was basically you when you mentioned when you guys were talking on here about about when you what did you say like i don't think I really read the room after Mincy got fired. I kind of do, like, whatever. I'm not particularly worried. We're a pretty brand safe like, no, they're not. But I was like, does this fall into the Mincy bucket if this

can is too dark? Am I gonna... Imagine that. As I say, there's one thing you can't say, there's one thing you can't do. Yeah. We did joke, I the i joke that was separate with the both of you i was like because i i thought that was so whatever like i don't i don't think i i wish mincy wasn't fired like i i agree with dave and stuff on that part but i also agree with the other side it's like we did joke the the i'm glad i wasn't in the office i don't think i

could have handled the cringe of like not my bar stool when when could we that was that was always we've always talked about always your bar i said both of you i'm like if that's the bar we have to clear pretty low fucking bar like if that's the one really the lowest jerry still has my favorite tweet which is different world now i was like different world now dude he goes i think he said said, I'm lengthening my Twitter edit button. How close are you to saying the N word all the time? Like we really, we really don't like, it's right on the tip.

The bar is, when the bar is the floor, it's pretty fucking low. It's like, you can't commit crimes. This is the regular bar. And then the next bar. And he wasn't malicious.

Like I'm not saying, but it's like I didn't wake up that day In this doomsday mode Of like yo We're gonna get fired Before we let you go I want to tell you something

First of all You saw Fast Act You loved it right Oh yeah It was a blast I mean don't get me wrong It's getting crushed Critically stupid movie

It is getting crushed Yeah I saw But the audience Of course fantastic Critically stupid movie I saw that it was like But like Like bad green screen,

bad special effects, like things that they shouldn't. It falls in the bucket of, oh, the ending pissed me off, I will say. There is no ending.

It just ends in the middle of the movie. Structurally, by the way, have you seen it? No. It is the Dark Knight in Infinity War. Yes.

They saw the Dark Knight in Infinity War and they went, hey, that's great. Dude, they don't even try. No. Jason Momoa wears

purple the whole time. He is the gay joker. He's the gay joker. Ken Jack said that and I told Ken just that you undersold Hey, that's great. Dude, they don't even try. Jason Momoa wears purple the whole time. He's the gay joker. He's the gay joker. Ken Jack said that, and I told Ken Jack that you undersold that. He is playing, which actually is awesome. He wears purple. He drives purple cars. He's got green.

He's the joker. Critically, my critic hat on, it's lower than a bunch. I love a bunch of other fashion weeks way more. Me too. I would say it's probably, which is crazy because I very much enjoyed it. It probably took Crack's top five. But I'm glad to see you very much enjoyed it. It is one of those that we talked about.

I want to get – if I'm guessing right now, it's critically in the 40s audience. It's always my favorite. The biggest split between critic and audience score is always by the way they released a board game they blew it they blew it really game i i i played a rotten tomato drinking game for years my buddies when i play where you like you you have a you give kevin a movie uh for every 10 you're off you drink for a second if you're within five john has to drink for five seconds and if you get it dead on everyone's gonna take a shot cool and it goes around in the order

and we've been playing that for years and when I saw they released a board game, I was like, no way. But it's some other stupid shit. They blew it, yeah. Fuck, what was I supposed to say? Oh, yeah, so I don't think you care about spoilers. I think the ending ending, the post-credits, has been

wild. I guess people are avoiding spoilers again, if you haven't seen the movie, you care. off right now blaine johnson's back yeah that's crazy what yeah the rock's back they he they must have broke bread like it's but but it's the most egotistical thing of all time i can't believe that's not it is actually a badass well it also just variety just said it before the movie came out. Which I didn't know that. It was a surprise. Yeah, that's crazy.

So that's how badly I think they were worried about the box office. Either Variety or Hollywood Reporter goes, exclusive, The Rock returns. Which is like the post-credits scene. That's kind of exclusive. And they even hide it in the post-credits scene because that's not him at first. No, it's not. I was like, that's too skinny to be doing, John. Because they have some guy come in in a mask.

It's a badass moment. And he calls me calls me goes i'm coming for you next and he takes off his mask and i was like yo if this cuts to black this is the sickest shit but it's the rock and you know he was like i need a line he goes he goes well i'm coming for you some bitch i'm like oh now it's a little lame kind of kind of ruined the moment a little bit but yeah it's not i well i also think that that might be The Rock after Black Adam totally bombed. I wonder if he was like – That is a good point. Kind of like what Vin Diesel did after Triple X, which Triple X didn't bomb. But he wanted to back in on it fast.

But even the bomb, he got dragged. The way that people reacted to Black Adam and they did that – they tried to get him into Superman because he was like, I need this to work. I wouldn't be surprised if he called his agent and said, do whatever it takes to get me back into Fast and the Furious. And those guys were like, yeah, sure. Fucking why not? And they could have made the whole – They could have been like, he knew John.

He's the one in his Avengers moment, which I think he's going to get in the final one. He wants like all of them. Everybody back. Which really worries me that they're going to CGI Paul Walker. But oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. See, it's either bad or they should say we're doing it and make it a family and have it like happy girl in the sky.

The metal walker. Right. Right. He's like the baby from fucking Teletubbies. The family seems to really embrace it, though. So, like, you know what? If they're all for it it still feels it's gonna feel a little icky

but Metal Walker his daughter is in the movie the family is very much involved oh you mean the family family I thought you were talking about the actual family the only thing in the world that we could be talking about no I mean like the Walker family and to bring it all full circle to wrap up on this,

the funniest thing about the Dozen team, the family, was John disbanded it immediately. Yeah. He created it. He made the name, made the logo, and then he left. That's, by the way, of all – there's only one person, there's one person that does and maybe two who have to be like, fuck, Kirk traded Big Ed a few weeks ago.

Yeah. And then John Rich, because John Rich traded himself and Rico. maybe two who have to be like, fuck Kirk traded big app a few weeks ago. Yeah. And then John rich junk is John rich traded himself and Rico to Minahan. And then John rich got Chris Kumler, an app, a brick watch and Kirk traded Rico, John rich back to the family. So like,

I love it. I love it. Yeah. It's tough. The last thing before we let you go, the, I love it. I love it. I love it. Yeah, it's tough. The last thing before we let you go. I'm sure you've heard of the Fast thing with the car accidents. Yes.

There's this company putting together. Watch all the car accidents, blah, blah, blah. That contest has been shifted a bit. It's now the person they select versus me. Counting car accidents for the Fast and Furious franchise. Wait, you're – The contest is – they took 50,000 applicants from these people. You sit down. You watch 20 hours of all the movies, and you have to count the number of car crashes.

It's a car insurance company. But they changed it. It was just that we need to find out the total number of car crashes because then we're going to calculate how much that would save you in insurance if you were with us. They've now turned it into like a game, which is the correct number because John's going to be doing it. No way. So what's – Because I knew they were doing some stuff.

Yeah, that's good. What's your guess? The total number of car crashes. That's a dozen questions. That's a dozen questions. Wait, do you – I don't know. I haven't done it.

I'm doing it in like two weeks. Because it's like you drive down the street and you hit one car and then you hit pinball to another and you pinball to another. That's, you know, that's three cars. There was – wasn't there – there was a scene where they all came out of a parking. Does that count? Oh, yeah. Fuck. That's in Fast 8.

That's in Fate. Are they going to count when – are they going to count when Dom does this in the parking garage? Such collapses? It's up to him. I mean, he is the arbiter here. So you just – There's no answer out there. It's like he's creating it.

See, that's the biggest question. What constitutes a car accident? It's an accident for that car. I bet you what you should do is you talk to that company. What do they define it for insurance purposes as a car accident? And then it's got to fall under that umbrella. If a bald guy stomps atop a parking garage and it collapses on your car, I feel like that's probably – You put it in a claim.

Yeah, you put it in a claim for sure. Holy shit. Everything you could put in a claim for. Do you have a ballpark? Nothing. I was guessing $200 per. I think it's probably like $10,000. So I haven't put my thought into it. It's probably $200 per. I think it's probably like $10,000.

It's probably $200 per, but then if you start up in the parking garages, Fast 7 might be – holy shit. A couple thousand alone. So you're like – oh, this is a bad math. Are you good at math? I used to be, but the other day I was doing simple math for my bonus round, and I was like – What's 200 times 10? 20,000. 20,000. I bet it's probably like $2 like, what's 200 times 10? To 20,000. 20,000. I bet it's probably like

2,000. 2,000. 2,000. I bet it's probably, I bet it's exponentially more than that. I bet we're missing something you're

even thinking about. It's going to be like 20,000 cars. Holy shit. Because I think if you count the garages, I think that makes it a whole different.

Yeah. I forgot about that scene in Fate. So you're, so I had heard that there was like, yes, so you're now

looped into that? Yeah. I'm going to scene in Fate. So I had heard that there was like, yes. So you're now looped into that? Yeah. I'm going to watch them all, I think, in here. And it's going to be a live stream the whole time. Guess how much sales sold it for. I don't want to be it. All right, Jeff D'Lo. Thank you for all your work.

Thank you very much. Thank you for your service. Everybody make sure you watch the dozen Final Four. I wore, by the way, do you notice what I wore? Because you guys are the comedy people in here. I wore the super thing. I saw the super thing. It's my own.

Comedy. I once wore the Chip and Joanna game shirt. I was like, oh, I've got to wear the super thing. All right, dude. Thanks a lot. Thank you so much. See you in Chicago. you you you you