KFC Radio - Will Poulter Interview | Bad Behavior with Mama Clancy

Episode Date: May 9, 2023

Get tickets to our live shows here: https://linktr.ee/kfcrlive Mama Clancy calls in to tell us about some Bad Behavior in the name of the Mets. Instagram targeted ads now rule our lives. We break down the latest Britney Spears conspiracies, HBO Alabama Sorority Rushing documentary, the coronation, and much more! Support the sponsors: BetterHelp Visit BetterHelp.com/KFC today to get 10% off your first month. Pirate Water Go to drink piratewater.com to find pirate water in a location near you or order on gopuff 00:00:00 Start 00:01:37 Feits' Daydreams are *shockingly* concerning 00:06:44 Great Fashion Follow - DieWorkWear 00:10:52 Instagram Targeted Ads 00:30:47 Nightmares are back 00:31:03 Feits sleep paralysis demon story -https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PpRDMwEvmS0 00:33:48 Parenting 00:35:09 Dinner with Warren Buffet 00:37:07 Mama Clancy 00:51:48 Update on KFC's Haunted House 01:01:18 Irish Scuba Meth Airplane Story 01:08:55 The King can Still catch it 01:13:32 Britney Spears Conspiracies 01:20:45 Kevin Gates IG Story 01:24:00 Sum 41 disbanded 01:24:13 HBO Alabama Sorority Documentary 01:30:31 Voicemails 02:17:48 Interview with Will PoulterYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Just a bad, um, bad behavior. Bad behavior. The title of the episode is for sure bad behavior. KFC Radio Live is brought to you by Pirate Water. We are taking the podcast on the road for 2023 for the one show only tour one one how many shows one one two minus one five times three plus two minus 17 equals zero oh yeah okay all right yeah i did that

yeah you did you went along with it. Fuck yeah. I'll be honest. I did mess it up in my head and just kept rolling. But yes, plus one equals one show only tour. We should almost do one of those internet. Like, what's the answer to this question? Where it could be one, but it can't be like nine because of the French season. All that shit. Yeah.

That should be the name of our tour. Anyway, we're on their toe. This is way too long for the promo that Nick wanted. I'm sure. Nick wanted this to be like six seconds long. Pirate Water is sponsoring the tour. We are coming to Boston at the Wilbur. Final tickets available.

I'm talking last, last, last final tickets available. And then Sunday night in Stanford, Connecticut. Sell that bitch out. Go buy your tickets. You can get tickets anywhere on this KFC Radio social handles. We are also coming to Minneapolis, Detroit, and Buffalo later in the fall. Get your tickets there. Bye-bye-bye. It's another edition of KFC Radio on the Barstool Sports Network.

Today's episode is sponsored by absolutely fucking nobody. It's me, KFC, Feidelberg, and a loud squeaking noise. Should be a great episode. Let's go. We've had meetings today. We were big boys today. Can I tell you something real quick before we get into whatever we're about to get into

you saying big boys reminds me of having a lot of daydream fantasies lately daydream fantasies just like sitting down you just kind of let your mind wander off and you're thinking about how many bad guys you could take out if they bum rush the room sort of thing that's what I did

you were right up to it the thing it's about how many bad guys you could take out if they bum rush the room sort of thing so i did it oh you were right up to it you got there and then the thing it's about is is not that is it killing yourself like it usually is in a really twisted way yeah it's i i can't stop thinking about it suicide it's not suicide it's it's way worse okay i i've been than suicide. I guess a lot of things. I don't know. It's like, so I do push-ups.

The more I do some push-ups, and for some reason when my hands are locked in a push-up position, I always think, what would happen if? And then since I do push-ups in the morning it what happened if what say it spit it out junior like like my hands got trapped in into the ground yeah and then i just started twisting like saw and then like my arms just get like like slow like mangled off and

then i fall with my arms when my head falls in ripped up too and then i had good caught off like that and i think about it every day and i can't stop thinking it's a good uh like saw if you're listening they should do that in one of their movies like your hands slowly you want when you stop doing push-ups it twists more so you almost have to always do push-ups like a minute yeah the minute you slow down it's so you hit like 51 52 and she's like no yeah no sick, dude. You're fucking, stop doing push-ups. There's your problem, bro. Work it out. Then it becomes so weird to think about it while I'm doing it

that I think about what I'm not doing and how weird it is. That's what I think about. It's almost all I think about. Bro, you are so fucked up mentally. It is a wonder that you are non-institutionalized like like do you ever think about when you're i'll tell you what i think about all day long i constantly think about what do other people feel like and think about all the time and sometimes you know i'm like am i just getting old and i have aches and pains or

like if someone jumped into my body they'd be like oh my god you live with this like every day you know and the thought of jumping into your brain like i feel like i've recently heard you say things like like no i just like i told my therapist like no i just i thought this was just, like, I told my therapist, like, no, I just, I thought this was just life. Like, you think that life is so bad for everybody that just, you know, sitting around thinking about getting your arms twisted to death. I'm trying so hard to not think about it right now. But it's like, don't think about elephant. Don't think about elephant. I'm, like, looking at you, and all I see is a spinning, like, saw that my hand's stuck in. Well, bro, you look great.

Thanks. You do. I mean, you're in shape and we've gone through this several times. These ups and downs. Ups for you, downs for me, and it always drives me crazy when you look good. You got a haircut. You did.

And that makes a huge difference. I have not gotten my hair cut. I keep missing my chance. I'll schedule an appointment with Erica and then our podcast runs late or we get a new guest or whatever and i just keep canceling on her and then you cancel on her yeah bro i would walk out of this podcast studio i'm so scared of her yeah i know she is scary but you've canceled on erica weichman well sometimes look he gets you a fucking i don't know you're happy about it you might as... I don't think he's happy about it. He might as well be a soldier, dude. I don't think he's happy about it.

There's like, Kevin Clancy, everyone who's fought in a war. That's the list of bravery for me. Like, the other day I was supposed to, and then Keegan got sick, so I didn't come into the city at all. And I was like, all right, I'm not coming in anymore. Shit like that. And then I get, yo,

I'm pretty sure a lot of people feel this way, although I think you just, just close to me, you don't. But I think, getting a haircut, for me me i think adds like four to five points on the scale really i think i go from like a three to a seven with a haircut i think when i don't have my haircut i am an ugly person like it affects like how like my shoulders look like my body like my face and then i get a haircut and i feel good about myself and i do think most people do feel that way uh nick cannon just recently said that

when he gets a haircut he it makes him want to impregnate everyone on the planet i think nick cannon just waking up in the morning makes him want to impregnate people everywhere on the planet but when you get a haircut it makes him want to slam dunk but when you i don't know when i get a fresh cut i am uh infinitely more confident in myself and it should just affect you know this part of my head yeah but somehow it affects like my face and everything and then i don't know maybe i'm just maybe i'm just walking carrying myself different i don't know whatever it is but i just feel like my whole shit transforms that's why i think it's crazy when people are like i only pay five dollars for

my haircut it's like yeah you fucking look like it dude yeah you look like you get a five dollar haircut you walk around ugly all the time by the way speaking of that fleishman replied to my guy die work where the other day um who's that he's the guy who crushed dave for the watches i've followed him for a long time. He's a really interesting follow. And he's been on a rip. First of all, I bring it up because Erica replied to him being like, yes, you have to get when you spend this money on clothes. You should spend money on a haircut. But my fucking nightmare is him one day.

This quote, he destroys people, assassinate people so intricately. And he's not trying. He's not being like sometimes I'm like, I'm not being a dickhead. But assassinates people. So intricately. And he's not trying. He's not being. Sometimes he'll be like, I'm not being a dickhead, but here's what's wrong with this. Yeah. And other times he'll be like, I'm being a dickhead. You're wrong. Fuck this guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And he sees a dress that he only tries to do it to famous people and blah, blah, blah. And it's usually like heavy right wing maniacs. And he's just like in the fashion industry. Yeah. Because sometimes some of these motherfuckers are like, who are you? Oh, no, Kevin. He has a pedigree. He's not breaking down like why the outfits but he's breaking down why his clothes don't fit and it's like it's like you need a better tailor to take out the divot in

your shoulder yeah and the the how your suit like the breast is like coming is cuffing you know what i never got with um with clothes is like it's got to just be a money thing but it's like I know a good example is just t-shirts if you buy a shitty t-shirt it does like the triangle out here you know and if you buy a nice t-shirt it just goes down the side of your arm it's exactly what he talks about how it falls is that just like that costs more

but why does it cost more to go like this than to go like that it's just the materials and who it's made you know what t-shirts should cost I learned this from him like if you want to buy a t-shirt and he's not saying nothing should he's he's a he's a great really interesting guy and and he's got great style and he's a good watch uh judge and but he he's like look what you can afford you can afford some people get mad at only some prices but here's an accurate pricing for a good t-shirt is like 80 to 90 dollars well so

i don't know if you could hear nico and he's not like you're poor if you don't have it he's just saying that's what that makes total sense to me like you put on a nice if you put on a shitty dress shirt. It looks shitty. Yeah. You put on a shitty T-shirt. It looks shitty. You put on nice versions of everything. You get a nice haircut.

It looks nice. It costs money. That's for made in the USA, too. So that's because you are sure. You know, I mean, but but in general, like, I think you can make the argument like when I'm wearing a T-shirt, I am trying to look fancy so i'm not going to spend money to be fancy fine in like our world where it's like i'm not going to put on a suit but i want to look good on camera i'm not going to wear a haynes t-shirt you know right i also think if like you have a great body it doesn't matter so it's like these are for people you know it needs to fall a certain way. Like you, uh, fucking, uh, you know, Ryan Gosling could put on a undershirt tomorrow

and he looks fine. So it's much more about hiding things and how it fits and falls and all that. I get that. But it's like, just because somewhere along the way we said that t-shirts are casual, it doesn't mean that you can't buy good ones. Like it's a, it's the same size and same amount of fabric. And in some cases, nicer fabric. And you know what I mean?

It's like, why would it not cost money? And why do you think you look good wearing like a $10 one? That was where he was breaking down made in the USA. And like everyone says made in the USA because they screen print it here. He said nothing is made. I would be surprised if Barstool t-shirts are made in the USA. They were. They do say like, sometimes they say source.

Sometimes they say made. Sometimes they say distributed produced, but I don't think, I think there's like one company in the world that like makes their shit in America. Right. He's saying all the watches is like made in Detroit or something like that. Yeah.

Yeah. But like, it's like, if you buy a $10 t-shirt, that means the store bought it for from china for which means the stuff off of the wholesale bought it for two which means some people made it for one yeah there's no way i can do that if you're if you're buying a ten dollar t-shirt it wasn't made in america if you're buying not happening it's like a 90 t-shirt maybe like a good t-shirt made in america what is the most expensive like i've been everyday thing

you think you do most expensive everyday like like what do you what's some you spend money on that like the average guy would be like oh i mean i am you know i'm just you know oh boy instagram has found them oh yo i get. I get got. I get got. Oh, yeah? Brother, I have five new pairs of Nikes over the last month. Yeah, I noticed your shoe game. By the way, I was actually walking down the stairs. I noticed your blazers today.

And I thought to myself, I've noticed that Nick has been buying new shoes recently. I think for the average person on an average budget, shoes are the best thing you can buy to up your up like your look yeah because like shoes are still going to top out unless you you know of course you can go get like ferragamo's for like two thousand dollars but you can get like the new nike blazers the new pair of adidas that people like for like between 100 and 200 and almost everybody can afford that you know maybe it's you can it's one pair that you can buy but everybody can at some point get that pair of sneakers and then people always notice your shoes they always go oh sure like yeah and you can be an average like a complete jamoke but you know get your pair of jordans or get your pair of whatever or whether it's loafers

or wallabies or whatever instagram instagram got you yep yep so wait what's your latest? Last night. I don't even... I don't know what this is. Neither do I, Kevin. But I literally don't know what it is. It's some kind of skin... Is it a mask? The skin mask with the lights on it. Oh, I thought it was a decorative mask.

No, no, no. This is like a... is like a brighten your skin i don't know what it's for i don't know what it's for i don't i don't want to give uh no free shout outs but the name adds some weight to it omni lux men and it looks like i thought it was like a decorative piece no no no like a mask that you would hang on your wall i don't know i don't know what it does that like wrap around your head i. I don't know what it does. Does that wrap around your head? I guess. I don't know. Because it looks like a square in the back almost.

It was just some fucking hot dude being like, I got skin like this with this. And I was like, all right, I'll get that. So I. Yeah, there it is. Yeah, what the fuck is that thing? Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Yes.

Yes. Yes. I'm so happy you bought this. You're going to look so amazing with that on. That is so fucking stupid. That is so clearly a product that is not going to work. Not going to work at all. Grooming. It won the grooming awards for men's health.

That is not going to do a fucking thing. FDA cleared. Yeah, right. Dermatologist recommended suck my dick. Bro, I'm watching Dope Sick again right now. FDA don't do shit. Bro, red light therapy device. This guy's bringing on shit bro red light therapy i'll tell you what though that guy he's a he's a he's a silver fox he's a distinguished gentleman but i mean before and after bro that is just a different guy who shaved his mustache that guy just shaved his mustache that guy just got a haircut i'm telling you all these people they

just get haircuts that's all that happens bro that is the stupidest thing i've ever i've ever seen anybody buy i love it i love it so much how to use prepare your skin by watching your face change the controller connected device start the 10 minute treatment so you got to wear you got to walk around looking like they were like like if you're if you're listening on audio i highly recommend you go to the youtube uh it's almost like the reason why I said it was almost decorative. It kind of looks like those masks from three ninjas. It looks like a mask that like a ninja would wear. Like when he like, you know, oh my God, you know what it looks like?

Actually Hannibal Lecter. That's what it looks like. Yeah. You need to put that on and just go. Hello, Clarice. It is a bunch of older distinguished gentlemen in the video. It's not like young. Obviously, it's for wrinkles and shit, right?

So it's not gonna be for young people. I say more power to you, bro. It was the tagline was something like spa treatments at home. Oh, those never work. And the thing I don't like about a spa is people. Yeah. And being at home. A medical spa would cost you $1,200. I don't like about a spa is people yeah and then a medical spa would cost

you 1200 I mean I got a deal a dermatologist visit would cost you 3600 you get it for 33 395 bucks I mean now I'm basically making money now obviously this doesn't work um this will do nothing for you but you know what it'll do it'll give you confidence like it'll be like I have better skin now I have sure I don't think you have bad skin what are you doing this for i don't know i got an instagram okay well let me tell you something i get got in the in a totally different way i have decided and i don't know how many other people see this but i'm a it's tough because you you think other people are seeing it and you're like wait a minute maybe maybe they don't because it's tailored to everybody you know i mean i get i've bought a couple things in my day out of just stupid curiosity and then i buy

dumb shit from china for my kids that i get sent a lot of dumb like fun products or like useless shit so my next thing my thing that i wanted to do on instagram was i'm gonna buy all the instagram ad stuff and review them for you so that if you go should i should i buy that helicopter drone for 13.95 you can watch my video and i'll go no you should for 13.95 yeah like they're always like so fucking cheap so the latest thing i bought and i am so mad i didn't film myself from the jump i don't know if anybody else has seen this have you guys ever gotten the instagram ad for the the telescoping rod yes you know what i'm talking about nick yeah because we're nerds and we buy like dumb

shit it's it's like like magicians yes yes it's like a magician slash um yeah it's like magicians. Yes. Yes. It's like a magician slash. Yeah. It's like a magician. For you or the kids? For the kids. It also is for like, they say for protection. It folds up to like this big and you flip a switch and it goes and a baton opens up. You're like a British cop now.

Yes. Yes. What do they call him? Like a Bobby over there or something like that? It looks like the thing like Gambit uses in X-men yes he had some nerd shit yeah but it was like thanks i cleared it up yeah it was like four dollars movies it was four bucks it was taylor kitch that's why i i i've seen the movie i remember throwing cards i don't remember the other thing i legitimately wanted to buy it just to do a video of me going like, and just having like a fucking rod in my hand. It comes in.

I wish I filmed all this, man. It would have been so perfect to kick this series off with this. It came in just like a ball of packaging. It was no box. It was just like the thing in a Ziploc bag. So you just got a ball. And then the Ziploc bag, it was tight.

And I opened the Ziploc part. But like, imagine like a telescoping rod, like pushing the plastic like this, you know? And I peeled the plastic back and it exploded. And it went like I had to Neo Matrix this shit. And if I had my camera rolling for that, it would have just been perfect because it exploded. It almost took out my eye and then it broke. I couldn't collapse it back. Also, I thought it was like metal. It's like twisty.

It's like have you ever have you ever taken a paper towel roll? And, you know, it's like, yeah, it's like a spiral. It's like... Have you ever taken a paper towel roll and it's like a spiral? It's like that. It's just the biggest piece of shit. If you hit someone with it, they'd go, that's smart. Yeah, it does. And I can't even think about what the magician would be using it for. But I went... I literally went

and it flew past my face. And I was like, if that was one of my kids opening that they'd be dead i could have literally lost an eye and now i gotta make a video being like obviously don't buy this it's a piece of shit but i'm gonna just keep buying all of these fucking things that are like they and the beauty of it is you buy it and it says like it'll ship in 14 to 28 weeks yeah and then you like six months later you forget about it and you're like oh i bought that magician telescope i got the uh recently is that wait is this thing you pulled up like this is the guy he does this is the guy so this is already a thing that someone makes zillions of

dollars doing my favorite thing is he he bought the world's uh largest or brightest flashlight and he just lights up like town oh yeah damn it like i remember when i you know what what really when i really should have like done this is when i bought all those orbeez and i filled up my bathtub and i just had a that is fucking bright yo that's see that's a good one i'm gonna buy that goddamn flash flashlight when i had a bathtub filled with 80,000 Orbeez and people loved that. I should have just kept that train rolling. But this is my version of Instagram.

Now the difference is mine is like $4. Yours is $395. These shoes are $400. Are they nice though? Because I feel like Instagram ads are usually shit companies. Depends if you start spending money on them. Because remember the first shirt I ever bought on Instagram?

That one I gave to Zahn? It didn't fit. It had giraffes on it. But remember the one, the Feidelberg shirt was an Instagram shirt. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You ended up making Sandboy shirts like that. Right. When those button-up collared short sleeves were hot.

You had that one that was orange and blue. That like you know that was an instagram right yeah that was cheap but then they're like oh he's why going on clothes and they so so will you get like like dave with like will tom ford do like an instagram ad uh i've never had tom ford but like i don't name the brands that i would know do instagram ads like that uh i'm not not that i've gotten okay but like i'll see something like you know and i'll be like i'll be like i like that and i i rarely open something on instagram that's like under 500 that's that's like we see that's what i mean we live different worlds like like i'm always like i got god i bought a fucking like a floating like ball that like lights up in the sky or whatever you know i mean like stupid shit like that you're like i got a leather pair of fucking you know loafers for 500 bucks and then they will

those are nice they're very nice as long as because i think there's a world where you get in between like it's oh you know what is a big one for me because i always buy like hoodies and sweatshirts and sweatpants like comfortable clothes i get a lot of companies that are like buy this like long sleeve hoodie zip up jacket robe thing for like $600. And I'm like, bro, I make those for 40. I know the deal on that one.

So if you're, but if you're, if it's expensive and it's quality, then it's fucking, they, but what sucks too is they'll like, I'll open it and I go, Oh Jesus,

not my kid. And then they'll be like, he's interested in that. Yeah. And I keep getting to the net. And then also, even if it's not that one, it's like,

okay, he didn't like the black ones, but i don't like the brown one by whatever by the third time i get it like i fucking fine and then oh they give you you know uh uh low for 10 discount for 10 so you gotta use that mask by the way i didn't get 10 of course so that's you know a few dollars off on the thing that is marked up 8 000 i bought that last night so we'll test that out why don't i know that barstool does it but can we like specifically get like uh like uh expert on kfc radio targeted shit like if you listen to our podcast you should just get hammered with ads

for am i the asshole who's the biggest asshole we did a co-branded ad last year where it was an ad of you guys doing the ad read and i would get served it three times a day on my instagram i i do think it is one of the most effective advertising yeah i only get barstool store what that's the only ads i get barstool store jay crowe that yep you're white that's the test um i will say well when i was fresh out of college the one thing that i would tell kids if you are fresh out don't have a job don't have a lot of money wish app watches are good enough they don't work as watches they're good enough to put it into like an ensemble that like no one's like questioning it watches are good like that because i mean like you know that diy wear whatever that guy well. But like the average person is just like,

Ooh, he's wearing a watch. It's like got a blue leather band. It looks nice. Whatever. Who fucking cares? They're like a dollar. Yeah.

Yeah. So, so yeah, that mask, I was, when I asked you, what's like the dumbest, like most expensive thing that you have that other people would be like,

what the fuck? Yeah. But clothes in general, I think would be your thing, right? Well, yeah, most of my clothes. I think you got that for that. Yeah.

I don't know. That's what I like. But also there's a thing to like, whether or not you like what you wear. Your clothes are a thing. You know what I mean? Like you, you're at a point like where some, some like schlep on the street might be like he paid like a thousand dollars for that jacket or whatever but he knows you he knows that you're stylish you know what i mean yeah like like you almost reach a point where preference doesn't

necessarily matter like i wouldn't wear some of the shit you wear but i know that it's like in style or cool or fits you well or whatever you know what i mean but so like it wouldn't wear some of the shit you wear but i know that it's like in style or cool or fits you well or whatever you know what i mean but so like it doesn't at the end of the day doesn't even matter what necessarily people like or don't like they just know that that is what's hot right now it's a nice place to live because it's probably wrong like i'm probably wrong but no but i mean it's all like it's all wrong It's just some guys at the top or some guys in fucking Paris or whoever decide baggy pants are back in. No, baggy pants are cool.

If you did it six months ago, somebody would have said you look like a goddamn fool. Yeah. I just, you know, fashion is just always somebody. Well, that's, that's, that's like the whole world. Yeah. Right. Like that's every, everything. Like whether it's like something, whatever, food. That's a word you can't use.

In six months, you can use that word. Right. Or six months ago, you could use that word. But what I think is interesting is I think back in the day. Not all words. One word. I was specifically thinking of gay. But there's other ones that are harder.

They've been banned for quite a while. I would think that in the past, there was like, I don't know, I don't know, like actors or designers. There were people in an industry that said, this is what is hot. This is what is cool. This is what is expensive whatever and those were like i don't know the tastemakers of the world now i wonder if it is more a little bit more like crowdsourced where it's like because everyone is connected where it's like

if all you guys just like start dressing a certain way that kind of determines it you know like back in the day it would just be like tell me what to wear like what's in the brochure what's in the what's in the magazine that shows up in my front door that's what's stylish now all of a sudden it's like well i saw that guy this guy that guy and that guy wearing those pants so like that's what's in yeah it's like it's almost like a little bit more i hope decided by the people because i think it sucks when it's just like some like imagine if you're one of those people whether it's official or unofficial you just know if i step out tomorrow wearing a big red jacket like that's gonna be the item for the year that's fucking sick it's a lot of pressure it's also like i i guarantee some guys have fun with it where they're just like let's fucking let's put

on the big red boots you know yeah yeah i mean, like, there's no doubt in my mind some people fuck around with that power. But that is, when you can move crowds like that, that's fucking, whether it's like Anna Wintour or whoever, that shit is, that's real power. You know? Like, I could put you out of business tomorrow just by saying brown loafers are lame and your company's done. Like, that shit is fucking sick. So hopefully nobody comes out and says that uh red light masks are are a thing of the past because they're in the future i'm just out of the game i'm gonna have the greatest skin in the world how about how about

you do when this arrives you do the whole episode of the mask you don't have to turn it on maybe you should maybe you'll get extra good skin yeah I think it's a little too long 10 minutes you can't gamble on the scar it's so wildly stupid look at these guys just like average skin I know maybe that's the point bro

every picture is like that's just a guy I'm fully I'm all about it bro I've been saying for so long guys you know we finally got onto lotion

we finally got onto skin care maybe next up is red light masks do you have one of those colleen do you do you know what they are but they're stupid right yeah yeah she got got also but it does i think it works yeah i mean i i'm sure it works to some extent because you can't just i don't know sometimes i'm like i think this literally does nothing and people are buying it you know there's a bunch of christmas lights in there like uh when i did that that cool sculpting thing like this does not fucking work they were like it's like

liposuction i put some shit on my fucking waist and it got cold for a little while and nothing changed like here's like 2400 for nothing There's a place called like the face gym. Have you heard of the face gym? We talked to them. Like the face gym sounds like, I'm pretty sure it's like in like no ho or somewhere. And it's like, you go and they like work out your face and there's like sculpting tools too. That helps you get a more like refined jaw line and stuff.

I mean, I'm sure. We talking jawline and stuff i mean i'm sure you're talking jawline that is the holy grail yo you've always been after a jawline since 06 every guy you've seen are you still chewing on that thing that you bought from instagram no dude that was are you still pushing your tongue into the roof of your mouth all the time though no i'm not doing that bro just like the uh constantly flexing your gullet the um that was the thing i heard before pictures but then i think it makes it you look fatter i it when you when i push my tongue up it pushes out yeah like it looks like i have like a pooch yeah i there i literally it's something my uncle told me when i

was like a kid which probably isn't something you should tell children like hey to look better you look a little chubby there yeah i have all my baby fats they call it mewing mewing is the act of putting your tongue on the roof of your mouth and it apparently changes your whole goddamn face as someone who's tried this it's exhausting yeah no like you get sore quick exhausting yeah it's like a muscle that you never really work out so when you constantly flex it like that guy right there is just putting his shoulders back and putting his head forward yeah yeah you just changed your haircut and your head that's it the um the the chewing thing from instagram i could not i i would have had to have a jaw surgery. With my jaw, I can't be chewing things. Somebody recently I know had the cracking thing.

What did they get done? They got something done in it. Oh, you can get Botox, and it fixes that. Really? Because Botox deadens the muscle. So whatever you have that's clenching it, you inject right there, and it'll stop you should do that i should definitely do that i can't even eat lunch in this room without jackie being like you're being loud yeah yeah i know and botox now i think it's like it'll be like 500 bucks for like an injection like that's not a big deal and i think you'll feel

like i always feel so bad for people who have that because like your jaw you this is what to go back to what i was saying i bet if i had your jaw like tomorrow that. Cause like your jaw, this is what to go back to what I was saying. I bet if I had your jaw like tomorrow, I'd be like, Oh my God, this is exhausting. It's painful, but you just like live with it. So if you just get one little injection,

imagine if your whole, like everything just relaxed, you'd probably like have so much less stress and shit. Yeah. That'd be great. And that's, I think of it. You walk all day like this.

My jaw is broken. In bed at night. I just lay there You walk all day like this. My jaw's broken. In bed at night. I just lay there like. I'm like, okay, let's just try and just try and get into one crunch. Oh my God. That is a nightmare. That is a literal nightmare. I'm up until like 3 a.m. every night.

Bro, I've been having nightmares, by the way, that are like nightmares. You ever have a nightmare that makes you realize you didn't even know what a nightmare was until you had a nightmare like this? Just the one time early pandemic when i had my fucking sleep goes what they called uh sleep paralysis yeah i i've been having nightmares that are like not like oh i had a nightmare that like my dog died it's like that's just a thing that happened in a dream yeah this was like a full-blown panic and i could feel it and i thought i was asleep for like i thought it happened for like 10 hours and i woke up and it was like 11 30 and i had been in bed for

like a half hour and that dream felt like it was a day and a half and i fell back asleep and fell right back into it and i was just like this is a life ruiner like i was like i know it's it's it's so funny in the moment I can, I could have like, I remember thinking like you should write this down right away or whatever. And I don't, I just heard it right there. I didn't.

And then I don't remember it, but I just remember a feeling of, I know this is a dream. You got to get out. You got to get out, but you can't get out. And there's that feeling of like, I think it's very,

it's just my life in general. Like you can't change your life. You can't you're in this life it's not gonna change it's already uh but i i mean i woke up like exhausted like the opposite of sleep it's like i was running all night you know fucking night literally um but maybe when billy football said that what was it what was he he billy football had a tweet was it what was he he really had a tweet where it was like he's walking around today in a like a fluorescent teal tank top like bro it's like 50 degrees oh he said like he said why can't you like people have nightmares but like why don't we have why don't we call it what we call daymares and i was like anxiety life dude it's called being an adult

like oh someone just had their 25th birthday yo it is so funny how that happens and you just don't realize that your everyday life is gonna suck it's just like every day something is hard welcome you like you like the fucking when you turn 25 it's like uh when wo Woody accidentally goes into Sid's yard. Yeah. And it's just like all these freaks coming at you like, this is life. And the world just opens up to you and you're just like, oh, shit. And everyone gives you advice on like what to avoid and you don't do any of it.

Because you know what I think it is? I think the fear of being like different is scarier than the reality of what they tell you you're going to do. Wow, that's pretty deep. Right? Because it's like, what am I going to do? Like buck the trend and be the one guy who doesn't get a desk job and doesn't get married and doesn't have kids and doesn't live in the city. It's like, it's what everybody does. And it's like, if you were single and hanging out and living on the beach, you'd probably be happy.

But you're not. But, you know, I don't know. People will talk about me or something like you know my parents will be disappointed in me or something it's like your parents are miserable people who fucking hate life and probably want nothing more than for you to be happy and you're just going to do the same thing they did and become as miserable as they are you think they're happy about that i i legit i was thinking about this i don't know how to do this because i don't. I don't know how to do this. Cause I don't know. I don't know how to parent. That's the end of the sentence. But like, I, I almost want to tell my, I think I might've said this already. I don't know if it is.

So if I'm repeating myself, sorry, but I almost want to tell my kids like, we're lucky enough that I fell into this job and we got a bunch of money. So like, here's a chunk of it when they're an appropriate age and like go not blow it but like go do something go live your life you want to live be silly i don't know be fucking fucking work at the zoo for minimum wage but you love animals so you get to just work with fucking lions all day or some shit and don't worry about money it's like i don't know somebody i think people think of that as like nepo babies and handouts and all that shit it's like whatever an unhappy person fine like yeah i took i got this money and so i can go do something you get

one fucking life go go or take the money and build a company with it or do whatever you want with it but like don't just go on the path what's the point of me doing all this? If you just fall into the same old shit, you know, but then I don't know. Then do you, then is that like you raise a spoiled brat asshole who like, I think you pick and choose your spots. Yeah.

The, the, I think I might've told this story as well here, but my parents had a dinner or was like, they were sat at the same table at some dinner as warren buffett because he's he's he's from like he's like hathaway berkshire hathaway started in like new bedford oh really i thought it was like iowa does he know he's from nebraska oh okay omaha but um lives in the same house that he's always yeah yeah the uh i don't know if it was like if that's

where berkshire hathaway technically started but but they have roots in Southeastern Mass. And my parents had some... They were not... It's not like an investment company, right? I mean, it is now, but... I think it started realistically. I think it was an equality factory in New Bedford. And then he was like, we're just going to be investors.

Yeah, I could be wrong. I could definitely... It's not perfectly accurate, but something started in New Bedford. And so his ties to Southeastern Massachusetts. And so he has ties to the Northeast, Southeast Massachusetts. And my parents had some dinner with him at some table. And I think my dad asked him, like, what advice do you have? This is years ago.

Like, what advice do you have for, like, raising kids or something like that? And Warren Buffett's response was like, when my kids got to college age, I was like, I i'll give you a million dollars you can use it to go to college if you want or whatever the number was you can use it to go to college if you want you can use it to go start a life if you want you can use it to go have fun if you want i don't know but that's your yeah that's your college tuition sure and but do with it what you want i mean i was like oh that's pretty interesting um but the more interesting thing that happened at a table is that our mom almost gave Warren Buffett a heart attack because he's like, he goes,

you're a fall river girl. I've heard about fall river girls. And my mom said, it's all true and winked at him. And my dad said, Buffett like lost his breath. Holly's such a gangster. First of all,

cause I could just see her doing that and just like fucking around with the old man but that yo that's a lie that's all true i got you warren let me give you a table my mom uh my mom went up to rudy giuliani uh at the urinal she like barged into the men's room she's a fucking lunatic. My mom is so fucking crazy. You know what happened this week? Well, first of all, they were at something similar. Rudy Giuliani, this is way back in the day, pre-9-11, so he

was not a hero yet. He was just the mayor and a Yankee fan. And my mom, I think at the time, was a hardcore Democrat or some shit. And just barged in and was barking at him. And he was like, literally, who is this woman? And my dad was like, yeah, that's how my girl rolls.

Man, this weekend is actually a very funny story. I hope nobody on the Little League team listens to this. T-ball, I'm at T-ball. You know what's nuts? My brother's kid is the same age as Shay. on the little league team listens to this T-ball. I'm at T-ball or, uh, you know, it's nuts. My brother's kid is the same age as Shay. Let me ask this question. Everybody.

When, if you remember, when did you start kid pitch? Like real, like literally kids pitching. Do you remember? I don't remember. I know I was still on a gravel field.

I think 10. Um, right. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I will. That's how she is.

Six turning seven. So it was my is my my nephew they play kid pitch i was gonna say eight but the difference in in like six and even seven to eight is crazy like another year like my brother's like they nobody everybody gets hit by pitch nobody throws a strike nobody can get a hit because it ruins the game. The year before, they had a pitching machine. I never had that in New York. Have you? I had T-ball, father pitch, and then kid pitch. Why not? A pitching machine is perfect.

It goes right down the fucking pipe, and everybody can get hits. He was like, everybody got a hit almost every time. They knew exactly what to expect. Now it's just balls flying everywhere, walks, games last forever, and all the kids are like this sucks and i'm like yeah i bet it does dude but teaching a child i think dj being too serious like a child baseball it's tough because for all the rules are so crazy but also like 90 of the time you're not doing anything keegan keegan the rules of baseball most of the

time are stand there we do we do threenings of innings, meaning everybody just bats. You go through the order once, and then you run off the field. And every time you switch up positions, every time, wherever Keegan, whatever position left, the next inning, like 50 balls got hit there. And I mean, not a single ball came his way that day, because just every time he moved, nobody hit the second base. Nobody hit the short side, whatever.

And he walked off the field being like he thought he fucked up. He was like, I didn't even get a ball. And I was like, it's okay. But he's like, but I didn't do anything. I'm like, I know. This sport sucks. It's stupid. And even like we play catch together and Keegan can throw.

But sometimes it's up here. Sometimes it's over there. Trying to get him to pitch in like a box. It's fucking insane. So at least we have fathers pitching. Although I do got to I got to rib our head coach a little bit. He had three hit by pitches, including two with Keegan twice. And then Keegan came back and he was like, I was nervous. I bet you were.

You just got hit with a baseball and you're five. So, but we play three innings. The time we have allotted is 430 to six. We finished the third inning at 550. Everybody, and I mean everybody, was done. Parents packing up. up kids were like i want to go play on the playground that's the other thing there's a playground in center field they're all like look at all those kids laughing right there's a there's an ice cream truck going by there's a i'm standing an adult throwing wound string at me for real i just got hit by a pitch from an adult

that our head coach for whatever reason he's a cool normal guy i don't he just his brain short-circuited in the moment and he goes let's play another one and and the other coach agreed and when i tell you the whole fucking field was groaning out loud what and so the reason i bring this all back is to bring it back to my mom she showed up this week and she was sitting on the sideline as like that inning was happening and by the way we had so we had 10 more minutes we didn't end till 6 30 that that final inning took 40 fucking minutes because we're getting hit by pitch and the ball's flying you know it was a nightmare my mom yells from the fucking

sideline this is the final inning right coach and all of the other fathers like on my team like turned around and like gave her a look and i was like oh my god and i'm sitting there with her i'm like that's my mother and and i was like would you like pipe down you're fucking you're being an animal and she goes i am a shell of what i used to be it's like do you know how i used to be you're like you're embarrassed by this this is nothing and i do remember her being crazy but i'm like i must i must not have i must have been a kid and not fully understood how much goddamn pit bull she was because she was like she looked me dead in the eye she was like i haven't even begun to valley

yeah i told her i was like you know in new jersey they make you umpire if you yell from the crowd she was like well get me a mask bringing this up somebody actually came up over to me this weekend was like um my uncle was a bartender at city island he just told me this funny story of your mom one time my of your mom. My mom? Your mom. No way. I have to share this story because he just loves telling this story.

Just like one day, the Mets went down, and somebody was talking shit about the Mets while she was at the bar. She was just threatening to fight him. They're like, we love you, but you got to go. Do we know when this was? This had to have been, I'll ask the specific time or what year it was, but it was a long time ago. What's crazy is it could have been yesterday. It was a long time ago from what I heard. Dude, that's so funny. Let's call it real quick.

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Um, so one of my producers, I was just telling the story of how you, you were yelling from the sidelines. This is the last inning, right, coach? And everybody shot you a dirty look. And then how you turned to me and you were like, I'm a shell of my former self. So we were talking about that.

And one of the producers says to me that he knows a bartender on City Island. And he listens to the show so he knows who I am and he was telling him a story how this was a long time ago, I guess. We're trying to figure out exactly when he tells the story. That you were at the bar and somebody was talking shit about the Mets and that...

That was bad. Bad behavior. And yeah, you threatened to fight them and they kicked you out? Oh, no. I hit a guy. You punched him? Oh, okay. That was a friend of Dad's. Well, that might be multiple stories then.

Wait, wait. So you punched him in the face or what? Well, I slapped him. Wasn't that the Amber Heard thing? It was a punch. That's open hand, pussy. Wait, do you know when roughly this... How old were you?

30-ish. So that's in like the, what, what, what, when they were, like when they were, I guess it was longer than that

because how old were you? You were a couple of years old. So this is like late 80s. Okay. So like this is when they were still good and, like you're not punching people over the face over like the 94

Mets who sucked, right? Like this is when they were good. No, no, was like yeah I mean they had been great and then they were on the skids and I just didn't want any bad talk nobody better than you mom I don't remember getting thrown out of the bar I don't know if it was thrown out but he he said he was like you know we you gotta leave like we can't have't know if it was thrown out, but he said he was like, you know, you gotta leave. We can't have you threatening people. Not like thrown out, but just like, hey, you can't be threatening to fight

people. And she's like, well, I do fight people. I don't know if it was thrown out, or I was a lot more drunk. I don't know. Well, also, what was the you ran up on Rudy Giuliani in the bathroom?

Oh, well, no. We were at a fundraiser or something. And at the time, I was still very Democratic, and he was pretend Democratic. Oh, no. It was – I think Dad was, like, at the urinal next to him or something like that afterwards. I know there was something about the bathroom. I thought that you, like, ran in the bathroom after him, but you just gave him – you just, like, barked at him at the urinal next to him or something like that afterwards. I know there was something about the bathroom. I thought that you like ran in the bathroom after him, but you just gave him,

you just like barked at him at the event. Yeah. But I mean like we knew his uncle. So it's, you know, I was like, you know, you're phony.

We know you. Yeah. We know your family. Yeah. Yeah. Well, yeah, I know you're a shell of your former self,

but you know, it's probably for the best. Remember the Costco thing? Yes. I tell that all the time. That's the, that's the one thing I'm always like, yeah, self but you know it's probably for the best yes that's the that's the one thing i'm always like yeah the you know the police had to come because because you wouldn't just let them check the receipt that one i sneaky love that's kind of cool to just be like i'm not a thief you don't get to violate my rights so do you just sit around every day like wishing that

you could still like yell at people and start fights? Or are you happy to be? No, it was an exhausting life. Yeah, it is. It totally is. I don't know why I spent all those years fighting for what. Yeah, fighting literally everybody. Right. Okay.

Well, that was great. It was just a bad behavior. Bad behavior. The title of the episode is for sure bad behavior it was warranted but it's still exhausting yeah there's no point I hear you

we're paying for it now ma so alright I'll catch you later okay bye well I hit a guy that is tremendous oh my god dude the uh different stories just like no no all right i can't see no bitch she's invoking amber heard's trial that's not good you know like queen amber did

dude the when you said the um the receipt thing that reminded me of like just how opposite i am from your mother or from anyone who's like that i went i popped into a best buy the other day i had to get like a cord like a usbc i think it was called they were like you mean the usbc like yeah whatever the fuck you nerds call it yeah and those guys act like they're fucking you know jeff bezos inventing amazon you're basically a cashier shut the fuck you nerds call it. Yeah. And those guys act like they're fucking, you know, Jeff Bezos inventing Amazon. You're basically a cashier. Shut the fuck up.

And I paid. And then I, um, I went to walk away and he was like, Oh, you need your receipt. They're gonna check it on your way out. And I grabbed it. It was like a $12 court.

It was not tons of spending. I didn't even take a bag. I just had it in my hand. Right. And it was, it was the one in Union square. So there's an of spending. I didn't even take a bag. I just had it in my hand. Right. And it was the one in Union Square. So there's an escalator to go down. And the guys are waiting for the door to get there. And I walked out holding it up.

No, I do too. I'm like, you can have it. I'm not doing this. I am not proud. I'm not nothing. Here you have it. No, you're normal. That's what most people do.

She literally, we're pushing the car she goes keep your head down keep going keep going don't look at them don't look at them i'm like okay but then then they started to get like not rough with her but like loud with her so then i'm just like defending my mom yeah and i'm yelling it was you know i mean like clearly we don't have like a tv with us we're not if we are stealing something, it's like a USB-C cord. So fucking relax. But I do, I mean,

if people wonder where I got it, you know, this is why I'm fucking, it's why Louis Black is telling me that he's impressed with how much I hate people. My mom is fighting Rudy Giuliani at a bar and shit. I mean, I just found my next thing that I got got on this fucking,

the dumbest, this is the dumbest thing i've ever seen it's a rug that looks like a 3d it looks like a hole yeah i'm buying that for sure i mean if it looks like it really looks on this it definitely makes it look like there's a hole on the floor they have all these pictures and videos of dogs like afraid to walk over it yeah i've seen those oh i've actually seen this done this is 50 off this thing could be 800 uh i also i got a text from my mom and she said i cannot imagine a bar in city island telling me anything i look like a diplomat compared to the island regulars

that is very fucking funny i said we'll find out which bar it is. And she said, well, that'll come at a cost. She's going to blackball them for life. Never come to your bar again. That'll come at a cost. Psychopath. They care about their bottom line. They won't reveal.

45 bucks? Done. Yeah. Can you send that to my email or text that to me or whatever um i'll definitely trick my kids into thinking there's a hole for sure we i need i don't know if we've done this on the show either i i let's figure out what i'm doing about my haunted house what do i do just to recap again if you haven't heard i bought this house it was at a good price it one night there all of a sudden appeared a fucking uh little boy statue in the back corner of the property that at first i was kind of hamming it

up being like oh my god like it gets haunted and there's this scary statue. And in my mind, I was like, I just didn't see this thing when I walked the property. But somebody must have seen it and they just didn't say anything. Everybody who came with me to this house, brokers on my side, their side, everybody was like, I never saw that thing before. So it appeared somehow. And then there's just been some like you know things that go bump in the night thought I saw something the other night that kind of gave me pause I was like

man you want me to add one you want me to add one right here add one what I saw that when we were recording the other night if your house wasn't haunted I wouldn't think anything of it but this one made me look twice at it. Okay, no.

I know. Okay, yeah, yeah. That is funny that that, because that did. No, that, I almost stopped in the middle because I didn't know. That was just like a blanket or something. Okay. Like a towel that was on the back of my couch. That is funny uh what we it was like a it was like a couple rooms away there if you stand in like one room you can see like from my this like tv room through a kitchen into

a dining room into another room like it goes a long way and it like this like kind of like a white wispy thing like went by i was like what was that you know i mean like there's only one thing to do well except the fact that you live in okay right so my thing like i think removing it is a bad idea yes agreed i think ignoring it is a bad idea i need to like oh you want to pay homage to it i don't know do you have c game to play give more power than he thinks he has yeah yeah yeah yeah like um so i know what happens when you start honoring regular things the crusades it's gonna spiral real fast i i so i've read and i've learned a couple things from talking to people certain stuff like you

should never have a welcome mat because it like can literally like signals you can come into my house oh for good for ghosts yeah now whether or not that sounds silly obviously right but also i don't need a welcome mat so let's just not fuck with that you know what i mean like let's just not try that out you know it's like i don, I don't want to. I don't think. Welcome mats are pretty necessary. No, no. It just can't say like, welcome. Oh, you want to have a mat.

Yeah, you want to have a mat. Oh, yes. Get a mat. Hanging or putting anything at your door that says like you can enter is very historically. You wanted to have an honorary piece to this thing? No, no, no. Oh, God. That made up my head.

I'm saying like, should I at night, I don't know, maybe I guess it is a little honorary, but like, should I just light a candle at night and be like, I, like, I come in peace. You know what I mean? Your definition of honor.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, not honor, just light candles in its memory. I want to contact them and say well no this is my point i don't want to say you're welcome here because then all the demons flood in but i want to be like you everybody who's already here can stay turns out you got a whole fucking next thing you know you got a venezuelan wagon coming up no i know what you yeah but i don't want to call the immigrant thing the caravan the caravan i'll have a cool caravan this is gonna send me a fucking a ghost plane of immigrants uh i would love that give me all the hard-working ghosts i get

we got work to do on this house bro but like like you know what i'm saying like if i rip that thing down and throw it away like i feel like it'll appear again and then it's like now i fucked with them if i if i say like i come in peace this house is yours well then you know like you said you're giving too much power is there an in-between where it's like i know you're here but i'm the boss now and we all just keep to ourselves or do i just wait until i die uh i know that means so far they seem friendly enough no yeah yeah so far we're good like um i was gonna say the kids do seem a little bit scared and that's usually like kids see it first you know what i mean kids are

always like dad where are you dad dad come back dad i'm like i'm like one room away and they're like yeah like i bought a haunted house yeah and the and this is also how it starts like the other day my my uh sister and her and her husband came by and i'm showing them the property and then they like they jokingly but we're like hey like let me see the statue and we're looking at it we're a bunch of dumb white people laughing about it and kind of being like isn't this funny but on the inside we're like it's kind of scary and then and then you know that night everyone gets slaughtered today yeah that's how this happens but i mean i'm still alive yeah a bit of a week now yeah but that's what i mean how long do they wait to kill uh you think they want to toy with you a little bit the films i've seen they they

take their time i'd say don't go look for that old well don't try to open you know it's so funny you have covered well on the property bro i didn't know let's get in the process of uh copywriting other names for this let's talk about paying honor the name the name pays pays homage to the radio is not going to make too much sense bro it doesn't doesn't make sense now. What about when the host is dead? Yeah, it's funny you say that because I am getting my pool fixed. And the old people who lived there had not lived in the house in like five years. They did not open or close their pool in the last like five years. They just left it be. So there's cement that's broken. There's pipes that's broken.

I bought, I bought it knowing that like the reason why I got the price I did is probably because it's a murder house with slaughtered children everywhere. But it's also because there were some things I needed to fix up. And so it had rainwater in it and I couldn't really see the bottom. We finally drain it out it's the deepest pool in existence it's i've never seen a private pool this deep in my life you know where a scuba suit in absolutely the bends coming up yeah i was gonna say catch something on the bottom i was gonna say i need one of those like diving bells to come down where you like you know you go underneath it and keeps an air pocket it's i mean you know pools in your

backyard are like seven feet deep you know yeah yeah this thing is like 15 bro if you if there's a 10 footer that was like crazy giant this is at least 12 feet deep that's and the reason that i say that you get a high dive with that shit yeah yeah there's a diving board and everything but i was like it could legit be a high dive because it's going to be like a 50 000 gallon pool which not only will just bleed me of all of my money but um i we were talking about filling it up and if you have if you use the city's water it they tax you and there's like this big fee you can pay a company that comes with like a big water truck and fills it up and it's cheaper and then somebody said can we like access the well water and i was like I ain't digging

up sealed wells because that is where that little boy's dead body is sealed well you leave a sealed well alone yeah a sealed well whatever that you don't fucking penny pinch on sealed wells I'm almost thinking about I want to cover the house in like a just a cement dome

they can't even get to the house that has the well in it. I'm going to put the thing in the thing. The well is in the house? No, there's a little shed. Oh, I see. If there was a well in the house, put a bullet in me for being the dumbest person alive.

You don't buy a house with a well in it. I mean, a well is just a murder tube. Yeah. It's just a cement cylinder where people fall in and die. They get thrown in. Yeah, thrown in. Pushed in. I've never seen someone have where people fall in and die. They get thrown. Yeah. They're on it. Pushed it.

Yeah. I've never seen someone have a good experience at a well. No. It's literally like Lassie. The boy fell in the well. When you want to be efficient, you build a house around it. So that way you can do all the killing in private. Yeah. But so what?

Okay. Okay. Let's accept the facts. I live in a haunted house. Step two, what do we do? Will you guys still come over? I have a party. Will you guys come over?

Yeah. Isn't that so funny? It's like, okay, well, there's a pool and there's booze. You know what the best part of it is? It's on Biggie. There's a fucking bar, like a, you open the closet, and it's got, it looks like Stu Feiner's bathroom. It's got it looks like stew finders bathroom it's got the mirrors on either side and it's kind of like a hexagon with the their shelves that go diagonal and then

straight across the diagonal and when i first when i bought it it was like stocked up they took all the liquor with them but i'm gonna get it like it's gonna be my crown jewel just have every liquor under the sun fucking stock top to bottom with pirate water but uh it opens up and the lights come on automatically it's like but you know that's cool yeah that but there's that and then like there's a dead kid on my property it's a little a little bit of both you know um shit yeah okay well just hopefully they don't kill the kids. Hopefully it's just me that's dead. God willing. When we were talking about the Benz and stuff like that,

after the show in Dallas, shows this week, Boston, Stanford. I would imagine the Wilbur is kind of sold out, but they released those handicap tickets at the last minute. So I think the Wilbur is pretty damn close, though. So please, Boston, push us over the edge and then Stanford Connecticut is Sunday night so buy your tickets come around but after our show in Austin I went out for some drinks

bless you with my buddies I had buddies from New York or buddies from Ireland from New York who were in town and I went and grabbed a few beers with them afterwards and they were telling me just it's crazy for us all to hang out with irish people because i don't know if it's irish or just these people in particular i don't know but like i didn't i didn't look at my phone for three

hours because it was like everyone's just talking and the conversation's interesting and fun and i guess that's what it's like just living maybe it's just hanging out with people who don't work at barstool you aren't constantly checking Twitter. These Irish people, these foreigners are amazing. They talk. Yeah. They look at each other. Having fun talking to each other rather than checking their social media.

I think there's something to it culturally. But barstool, bro, it is bad. You go out with people at barstool, it's literally like, let's just go home and talk on the phone, guys. It's crazy. But he was telling me a story in ireland when you graduate high school you kind of go on a trip you go to thailand and you go to all these islands and shit like that it's like a long time it's called like this half moon thing people die all the time like people die regularly um like fucking mix like like like like per trip like

like five is it like Rumspringer? Like, you're supposed to go, like, crazy? It's not really. It's just, like, give me the do. Is it like Birthright with the Jews? No, it's just, like, I think it's just, like, I don't really know. It's just, like, a shitload of Irish people go to Thailand after they graduate high school. Can we Google this?

He was telling me, like, they go on, first of all, they drink meth drinks. Like, the drinks have meth in them. I think these, I think your boys are just, they just party hard. I forget what it's called. But the, the. Put in like trip after high school, like you said. Half moon might've been in there. Something like that.

They drink meth drinks. and they all die yeah like like they like there's one thing where the um bro there's nothing coming up these guys these guys just go to thailand and ball check put thailand half moon or something like that um the uh it's something with moon in it um but they there's just like basically you go like river rafting on some island for the half moon festival there it is um and uh now do okay now one more thing just do half moon festival thailand ireland irish see if the irish do it particularly it might just be it might just be like a like you know carnival and yeah maybe people from ireland like like to go whatever but anyway um and there's like they're going all the islands and there's one island where you're in a tube

and they're just bars on the end of the island on the uh the side of the river yeah and they just throw you a rope and they just pull you hell yeah and that sounds so sick and they but that's where you get the meth drinks and then is this a joke or there's like literally there's there's meth amphetamines in it. I forget it. They were calling them meth drinks. I don't know if it's exactly meth in it,

but he's like, you don't sleep for three days. He said they were just slugging him. You're not supposed to have more than one, but they have five. Guys are having five

exactly the number. And then on this same lake, river, whatever it is, they have a thing where you can rope swing off one of the bars. And there's just a huge rock. Is that Yabba?

Maybe it's Yabba. I was going to say, it's like speed. Donnie X had only had it before, I'm pretty sure. Yeah. And you just swing on one of the rope swings. But there's just this huge rock. People just hit it and they thought and their body goes go people just keep doing it like next up oh my god anyway

i say all this to say that on one of the islands that they went to um you can become scuba certified and and my friend did and uh by what you breathe a snorkel for 30 seconds he's like certification barely but in the depth they went to he's like he's like it took me two hours i'm certified still to this day right and um but the depth they went to they were like beforehand they're like you can't do this if you're gonna fly anytime soon because that altitude change is not... You can't do it. And they were like, ah, we can't do it. We're flying tomorrow. And the guy was like, where are you flying to? And it was just to another island.

And he's like, oh, for that trip, it's got to be about 15,000 feet. That only goes 10,000. You're fine. And he was like, okay, cool. That's cutting it close. So they all did it. And then on the plane, they're like, there's two turbulence, you have to go to 20,000. And they were all just like, okay, cool. That's cutting it close. So they all did it. And then they had to go higher. And then on the plane, they're like, this turbulence has to go to 20,000.

And they were all just like, well, this is it. That is, you know what? I feel like that is a thing where, like, you just kind of accept your fate if you know you're going to die. They were all just looking at each other, pretending they had the bends. Yo, what a great time to play a prank on someone like i would hammer up i'd start drooling making things up that wouldn't even make sense you know

like that's not even one of the one of the things that would happen to you that is so fucking funny uh just right and they obviously were okay like it could have been like yeah could you imagine like yo but in general like 10 and 15 is too close for me Yeah right It would be like oh this only goes like 2500 feet in the air you just go up and down They'd have to tell me it's a car Otherwise

I think I don't need the scuba certification in Thailand fellas Like why are you even doing Who fucking cares I'll go drink some of that more meth Scuba diving is something as a younger person Definitely definitely as a kid, and then even as a younger adult, I was like, I really want to go scuba diving. Like one of, you know, the Great Barrier Reef or one of those famous like things. And I can't tell you how little like that just completely disappeared.

I haven't thought about or cared about scuba. Scary. Yeah, I think it's fucking. I've only done it in a very, very very low it's like going into outer space yeah it's just the opposite way you gotta fucking follow everything even just like being completely it's hard for your body to get like okay i'm completely immersed but i can breathe like it's like yeah i like panic like that even uh i know uh i think it was my brother that did it somebody i know did it like they were like almost like pedaling they were like upright because like they it was they were just like if you know you're not really like swimming on top of the water you're in it yeah but you have to like lay and then you know kick normally and they he said they just ended

up like but uh that's something like i once would have told you like bucket list and now I'm like I don't give a fuck if I don't go scuba diving you do that did you want to go skydiving the other day do you have anything on your list that you like haven't done that you want to do I don't do everything yeah you wouldn't say like no to anything probably not would you go to space

if somebody offered you a trip yeah yeah I'd Check it out. Pop my head in. See what it's all about. What were we talking about? Oh, my haunted house. So anyway, I'm going to die in my house. Whatever.

A couple more things before we get... Who's on the show today? Will Poulter. Yeah, so Will P get who's on the show today uh will poulter yeah so so we'll uh will poulter's on the show with like a full fucking broken foot yeah i mean dude dude was like hobbled and still made the interview so we appreciate that at a level like i i a regular podcast host would have canceled all my appearances with an injury like that he a star of a marvel movie certainly should have so very gracious of him to come by so we'll get to him uh and then we'll also do some voicemails just a couple other things around around the uh internet to talk about uh the coronation was this past week or weekend uh since we last had an episode uh sausage fingers

became the king um every time he's on television people realize he's got fat bloated hands and it always makes fidelberg feel better about himself um uh it is it's a even if you're king it's hard to understand that's exactly what i was gonna say what oh well i was gonna say like you know like you know the king can still catch it on the internet man yeah i mean like don't worry if you're you know when they say like it's the internet don't be the main character like even if you are the main character bro those are that that's that's the old ones they still are bad though that must have been a bad day for him yeah that was a particular i know i you have bad hand days you do you do i mean you you like legit everybody's had a moment where

your hands are like a little red and swollen or you drink a lot the night before or whatever people are making fucking sausage finger sandwiches i mean his rings are like permanently on yeah yeah if he wants to take his ring off he has to chop his fucking fingers off that pinky ring is about the worst dude god those things look my God. Those things look... I mean, he doesn't have knuckles. He has reverse knuckles. I have nice hands compared to him. Yeah, you have, like, beautiful hand model type hands. Because they're also particularly short fingers. They're stumpy as well.

So while he got crowned, standing to him, uh, is Camilla who I think everybody's got to give her her flowers and, and crown her the greatest side chick to ever do. She's wife now. She is. I don't know if it's like legally his wife, but like look that up for me. I think if not, you know,

it's almost like common law or whatever the fuck we were together for like 40 years. She was, she was, you know,'s almost like common law or whatever the fuck we were together for like 40 years she was she was you know the side piece well uh diana had her side piece and dodi al-fayed they just you know each were fucking their own person and i'm pretty sure yeah king charles's wife so she's queen right yeah king charles the third and queen cam. This chick was a side piece and is now a monarch. That's the greatest, bro. I mean, that's the greatest of all time, right? Like, like, uh, I'm trying to think of other, I guess, like, I, you can't call like Angelina

Jolie, like a side piece. That was like a mutual, like Brad Pitt and Harley got together. I don't know if there's any, anybody of of note really who was the other woman or other man you know who then ends up a royal actually if there's one place where this is probably having probably pretty yeah in that world is probably pretty pretty normal but camilla just wrote it out man just like this girl just dug her fucking nails in and was just like okay diana's dead i'm still not going anywhere like oh okay the queen is living till she's a thousand i'm not going anywhere like harry and megan are calling us racist like we're not i'm not going and come 2023 she gets

she gets the crown it's just you know you know, you too, hoes. Dreams do come true. The whole spectacle was something. I didn't see anything about it. I guess it happens early in the morning. Yeah, it's a weird time difference thing. Kate Middleton rocked a bunch of Diana stuff, which is, it's got to be cool that like, so she's, you know, in this grand script, she's like the good guy,

if you will. Yeah. Right? And so she can just do things like that. Like, okay, what did that fashion icon from the 90s wear?

Like, let me just put on like her same jewelry and then everyone will talk about me like that. You know? The greatest, it's like so easy. You know what I mean?

Meanwhile, like if Meghan Markle tried to do that, they'd like chop her head off. Yeah. Well, she's black. She can't do that. You can't wear the same earrings as a white woman.

Do you see the theories that she was there dressed up as the old man? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That was, I did see that. I did see that. Oh,

speaking of theories, the latest theory, uh, Britney Spears is dead or just gone. And while it is silly, there is some weird shit going on. Can we run back all my clips? I'm on the right side of history. You are.

No, no, no, no, no. I know what you're saying, and yes, you are. But if you want to fucking live ridiculously and die, you still should have the freedom to do that. You can't be an adult and then just have everybody control your life. But maybe we should have had. She's actually still under something called temporary, like, state control from the same people in the conservatorship. So it's, like, not as official. But anyway, the newest thing is um and granted like i'm only looking at the clips and stuff

they put up in the pictures they like these accounts put up maybe there's other pictures elsewhere completely refuting it but all of like the wedding pictures and shit she got married over the summer and like all of the footage you know you've seen you've seen those like wedding um highlight reels videos you know it's like zoomed in on their faces and their hands and like up close high res all these pictures everything for him the groom is like that and everything for britney is like a veils in front of her face like a carriage just shoots by quickly everything's from a distance and i was kind of like all right i don't know whatever like

there's probably plenty of pictures that are the opposite of that so who cares and then uh then there's blatantly one where it's britney spears's face you know the dark eyes it's like her and she's dancing and she doesn't move like this where she puts her hands in front of her face. And if you stop it at the right point, a filter like disappears and it's someone else's face. And it's either like it's a very clear like it's a different set of eyes. Is that her video or someone else? It was her video that was posted and then taken down right away but like but when all these conspiracies it's like if you were running a conservatorship that was kidnapping someone you would never let her post a single thing yeah so

how would this like even get up for 10 seconds so i'm not saying that like she's dead or trapped or whatever but like it just it's it's a weird can you can somebody that on pab's computer if you search like tiktok or nick it's a video you sent yeah it's i was expecting it to be like whatever but that would mean that it's it is a filter that then gets chopped off because it's you know i was thinking well maybe that's just a filter the other way or whatever but it's like it's her face the whole time and then all of a sudden it's not yeah that's the one um but the the thing about all this shit now is ai and photoshop and all that like you can whip that up in 10 seconds yeah so who knows what but man these motherfuckers look at everything it is it's like the part thing of the internet

is like a everything is too thought about or it's like it doesn't need to be like like this so like that that face right there you'll see is not like her face like that that is what that is the the change when you see her eyes like before that it looks like absolutely nothing like that and then as soon as it crosses over the filter you press play uh oh she's not yeah the internet and the internet company um this always makes me think of the damar hamlin stuff where if like three days yeah damar hamlin's dead and it's like and then she put out a video i was like i'm fine fine everything is so so like she actually looks just scary in general oh she always yeah like with the black eyes

and then right like there you're it's hard for you to see but like that is just different eyes it's a different color eyes and it's a different makeup on the eyes so and i don't know if that means somebody is uh if they just like oh oh you know what the other thing is if you look at the the backgrounds it's a green screen the um that that like outdoors scenery we need like a video that yeah like you see it go back go back again I'll show you exactly where it changes yeah so there it changes

and then it goes back you see it right 100% yeah one more time I think our eyebrows changed the makeup yeah i mean you guys would know better doing video that looks like and uh the the um if you play like the the full version of it you see um it's like outdoors and like not a leaf blows in the wind not a bird flies by in the background not a like it's like perfectly

still the whole time and i you guys i was actually meant to ask you guys about that if that looked like a green screen to you because because people know that I'm looking at it. Yeah, it does. And then the green thing was another thing. She captioned one of her pictures, um, like I nine, seven, eight or something like that. And that is the,

um, that is the Pantone for like that green screen color. And then she like wore that exact Pantone dress in the next video. But all that shit to me feels like someone being like, green screen color and then she like wore that exact pantone dress in the next video but all that shit to me feels like someone being like we uh want views and popularity yeah i was just like that's not a um it's not like she looked rugged dude that that's another thing too people are like look at britney she i think jack mack posted recently where they were like they're like you know clearly the conservatorship was what she needed and i thought it was gonna be a video of her like slicing her wrists it was just

like she looked ugly in a video dancing yeah i was like oh yeah no she's an old woman who like is haggard from 20 years of lithium and like partying yeah but that doesn't mean uh but something's up with britney folks and it ain't just the regular oh you're you know a crazy hillbilly who who accumulated an unimaginable amount amount of fame but uh the but britney is also i guess at her wedding she had selena gomez paris hilton like three others like the most like famous people like ever and then like the next day she like unfollowed all of them on on social media and the caption she put up a caption that said i was at a restaurant earlier this week and a bunch of girls who were so drunk came up into my face and you could smell the alcohol

and they were like so obnoxious reminded me of my wedding lol and then unfollowed all the girls i don't know i don't know if that's a conspiracy that's just some funny ass celebrity shit so uh free free britney i don't know um and then uh last thing here kevin gains the rapper slash um gates i thought yeah yeah kevin gates um rapper slash kind of just internet personality at this point um just flat out posted live childbirth on his instagram uh i think it was a story uh or maybe live right story you watched it live i didn't watch it live but i someone's like don't look at kevin gates's story yeah yeah so i was gonna go look at it and then i screamed totally i i thought it would be very funny if you were if you're just like on instagram it's like kevin

gates has gone live and you're like oh let me pop in um it's a girl doing home natural birth doggy style just popping a kid out from behind just and and at first right off the bat it's just asshole and vagina like right away it's like yeah look at that that's that's that full screen yeah and then and then that yeah look oh my god look at that that's just a baby just popping out dude that is fucking hilarious and it's caption says the most beautiful thing on earth is the gift of life that almost almost is so bad. It looks like a bathing suit. That looks like she's just wearing clothing and nope, it's a child.

That's funny. That's funny. I, I, I respect this. And then, uh, like I, I was a kid in,

in school. I don't think I actually ever had to do it, but like when they were like giving people the option to leave before the miracle of life i always stayed did you watch it i don't think i don't did you did you i did not get that i i also bounced around different schools for those years though so maybe like when i moved from one school they played it that year and then when i moved to another school they played it and i missed it i never saw that video and we had we actually had – I know they talked about it in school. The video.

No, like students talked about like getting to leave and all that stuff. I must not have been there that day or maybe like – That's what I mean. I'm like – I feel like this is one of those things. It's like they did it like a long time ago and like Mandela effect almost. Did you guys really watch this? Yeah. Because it's crazy.

It's fucking crazy. I was like – I was in health class. I obviously was sick some days, skipped class some days. I don't know. Cause it's, it's crazy. Yeah. I was like, I was in health class. I, you know, I obviously was sick some days, skip class some days. I don't know. Maybe,

maybe it was a Monday, but the, I don't recall even the option. Well, maybe I do now. Now that I'm thinking about it, maybe I do remember the option. Maybe I did.

Maybe I was the only one who stayed. Honestly, that's, that's the birth. That's your origin story. That's how you become like a blogger who's like yeah i watched you know russians stab each other with screwdrivers on live leak it's one of those i can't remember doing this since i was in fourth grade i can't remember

if it was like if that's just in my head like i have a memory yeah yeah that's what i mean i feel like it's like almost mandela effect i mean also this shit, like, the 70s and 80s, right? Yeah. So it was probably just, like, bush. Hairy muff. Yeah, just, like, as gross as can be. I feel like a woman giving birth now is, like, you know, it's like watching a girl get waxed. It's like a sex act at this point. You know what I mean?

It's like, no big deal. Babies come out. So, yeah, shout out. Shout out to him. So they're crying. They had so much hair in their mouth also uh some some 41 rip they they broke up today they disbanded this yeah it's a shame so that's oh well one more thing i think it's interesting my name is um hbo is dropping a new documentary on rushing Alabama. Kai, Pike, whatever the fucking name is. Do you know the name? Is there one specifically?

It's actually, that's one of the craziness about fraternities is that it's not uniform to schools. Like, what's the cool one? What's the not one? Oh, really? Okay. My school is Tridel and... Pike's, right uh tridel and uh no that was fraternity i'm talking about sororities sororities were tridel and uh tridel was the big one in fsu yeah but there was another one that was

god i forget what they were but either way oh yeah yeah yeah yeah i think um Oh, Kappa Kappa Kappa Kappa Kappa Gamma, I think. I think it was one of those. Oh, no. Kappa Kappa Kappa the Joker. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll bite my tongue. They made a documentary of... They put... What did you say? I said I'll bite my tongue.

There's only so many times you can use it. Yeah. That was a lamp. You probably should have just let it rip. You know what? Just do it. Just do it. That's what? Just do it. That's what Mincy was in.

Kappa Kappa Mincy. They put listening and recording devices in like bracelets. And these girls went to rush and went out to party. And they have like a very inside, like inside the Illuminati, like inside the walls of the of the fraternity of the sorority. Were the girls new? Well, I think the girls who like were doing it new. There's girls who are like confessionals and on camera and shit. Those girls, I think, obviously are a part of the documentary like a kai ho and and and then

there are people at these parties that didn't know and i thought don't you have to get waivers so what i think that they're gonna do is see it's this girl and there's like two other girls right it's gonna be like those are the faces that are gonna be of it and the rest of it's gonna be blurred faces and like just audio. And I think that there are people who are like, just like I'm in the background and like, yeah, maybe you blurred my face, but like,

did these girls graduate? Like, was this film four years ago? Oh, I don't know. This was filmed last year. I think, I think they're like freshmen trying to get into the document.

Well, I hope they transfer. Cause they're going to get fucking killed. I, if it was like secret. Well, that's so they the the documentary uh the the um let's go trailer is very dramatic like one girl has a dead dad for some reason that matters and uh one girl is like i was trying to find myself because of like

this that and the other thing but oh that was a while. The girl just blatantly saying, all the sororities have rankings, and that is based on the boys. They decide. And so Kappa Delta, whatever the fuck it is, is the number one because the boys say so. And in 2013, I mean, it's no surprise. It's full-blown cult shit those videos go viral every year of the girls like clapping and yelling at the dot at the door um but yeah like they also

get dramatic like this this could be the end of greek life but like for real it could like i think greek life is hanging on by a thread and if there's anything too explosive in this there people are just gonna boycott or uh demand like this shit gets canceled right away i i don't know it's funny i i in my experience it's very limited and i wasn't like that in tune with greek life like the sorority is like it's not the crazy rushing they're just like the bitches yeah i guess it's not like the cutthroat i feel like i've i think that the fraternities get the bad rap of like we stick bats up your ass and we make you drink to death i think sororities is like we all have eating disorders and we bully you into it also and it's

like the yeah the less out there stuff but it's probably they weren't allowed to drink while russian like girls couldn't drink right right right so uh guys was like that's like the party the fuck right each other that's what i mean it's probably like you can't be drunk because you're my slave um so we'll see though but i think there's a bunch of like kids who have like parents who are lawyers and shit and they're like getting involved because they're obviously like i didn't agree to this and all that kind of shit so i think it'll be an interesting uh i think it'll be interesting like episode like i would kind of want to see like, what's like the deepest and darkest.

Some of these sororities go and then I'm good. I don't need to. Yeah. Yeah. So this will probably be like a 10 parter. That should have been a six parter. That honestly should have been a one hour documentary. That's all documentaries at this point,

right? Like let's try to get 10 episodes out of it when it should only be six. And really, if you tighten it up with B roll, it could be a movie. Um, cool. Let's get into voicemails. Attention, when it should only be six. And really, if you tighten it up with B-roll, it could be a movie. Cool. Let's get into voicemails.

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Go to drink pirate water.com to find out a location near you or get it delivered on go puff. That's drink pirate water.com. Guys coming to you from Seattle, but coming to the one show at the Wilbur on Friday. Hell yeah. One show. Piratewater.com extra ticket because someone can't come to the bachelor party so if anyone in boston is trying to go if the show is sold out don't know how we get in touch but we'll be there with one extra ticket so uh hopefully we can find someone who wants it and hang out or just do your thing whatever people up yeah it gets and somebody came and it was like a pseudo date yeah they ended up fucking i don't know that the girl wanted to fuck and the guy didn't or something like that there was something weird i think like she fucked somebody else at the thing.

Wasn't there a whole love triangle? Yeah, it was awesome. Yeah. Yeah. So that's good. If anybody wants to go and ride with these strangers, I think that'll be fun. I think it'll be a good story. Good time.

I think our bachelor party. Yeah. I mean, if you could just like co-opt a bachelor party, like all of a sudden you just for a night, you get to be a part of a bachelor party out of nowhere. That's the kind of shit that you'll tell. You'll tell that story for the rest of your life. So if you want tickets, we can tweet this out. We'll like link people up.

Perhaps can tweet it out. Not me. Yeah, you're officially done. Officially done. And you know what? Well, so I have the burner that I use for the timeline. But I guess because I can still open it and kind of get like the scroll, I still see highlights and scores and a little bit of news.

I kind of get that. Like I scratched that itch, not one ounce of me, Mrs. Mentions. Like there's no part of me. That's like, I it's crazy.

It took us as long. I know. And I genuinely do feel bad because I did like some people. And I, there's like, I, it's crazy. It took us as long. I know. And I genuinely do feel bad. Cause I did like some people. And I, there's a, there's a, there's a part,

here's like the three things I feel bad about. One, there were like people I talked to, but at this point it's almost like I, I, if I needed to, I would like DM them or something like that. Like it was never like we publicly,

like we would banter. I never followed. I just kind of liked it. Like, I got money, but, but so that I do feel like the unwritten rules of like

covering and following and being like a professional fan if you will, like there's no accountability. Like the Mets got fucking rocked. The Knicks got rocked and the Mets blew a game. That should have been like an Armageddon type day and I should have like taken my beating on Twitter. Yeah, but

I'm just like, I don't know. That's not gonna happen anymore. You know? And then part of me feels like it's, it's like I told Pabs to still keep up with promotion and stuff. But part of me is like, it's, it's leaving behind like a 500,000 follower thing that I like built. Yeah.

But I, but it's just more bad than good. So I'm just the, I do feel bad for like the people i don't talk to or like or whatever anymore i'd like to think that they're like he's happier right now yeah yeah so he's in a better place yeah like it's like it's a it's a trade-off of one also those people that you're someone if i you know i like to follow fucking burke i know burke doesn't look at his mentions i i and i think the people that do anybody that's been around long enough for us to have like become like Twitter friends with them are like trapped in the hellscape, too.

And like, yeah, understand it. Like, get out the hood, man. Like, you go. Don't worry about me. I'll be fine. It's good. We'll hunting. We good.

We'll hunting it. They came and they knock on the door. We're not good. I do. I'll like some of Shane's tweets sometimes. I love something funny. I know Shane doesn't see that. Yeah.

But like, it's just like, hey. But you feel like you're supporting. Yeah. I do the same thing. Yeah. Like, liking people's stuff. Like, yeah. Like, I like it.

Yeah. And I'm glad he doesn't see all the other things saying, fuck him. Right. Yes. How about that fucking guy today? You guys don't know this. We went to the CEO camp.

So they did this thing for... Can I get a water? You hit that pretty Philly. Water? I thought this, because it was just right on the floor. I thought it was hers. She was just giving me her hand-drained water. I would have taken it was just right on the floor. I thought it was hers. She was just giving me her hand drank water.

I would have taken it. The CEO intern thing was like 10 people got the chance to come to New York to follow like Erica around for the day and talk to a couple of the franchises here. And it was just like the same story we told a million times. Where do we come from? How do we get to Barstoolool where do we see the future going and then we do like a question and answer that must have felt pretty bad when we walked in like oh we're gonna get someone yeah and then our story i mean i tell like it is i was like i don't know man we got lucky like fucking uh i was early to the game that's the only reason i have a job yeah like i couldn't get a job like that a good lie and say it's hard work and all that stuff is true but like the if you ask anyone anything if their

first answer is i got lucky then they're lying they're lying like they're trying to make themselves feel better than yeah i yeah i worked hard and i like the people who are like the comics we know they're like i did it for 35 years yeah and finally it worked right i don't you know even then you got lucky in that 35th year yeah You got lucky that the culture shifted to the part where now what you do is entertaining. Everyone just got lucky. But the one guy, the question started off okay. It was, do you guys bring in different fans? I think we might have been on different pages.

I thought the question was like... It was like, can you tell who's fans of him? Yeah. And I took that to mean like, are you a KFC person or a Feidelberg person? That's what I did too. Oh, okay.

Okay. I thought we were on different pages for a reason. And he was like, cause you know, like there's different demographics to everything. And like, you know, um,

and he kind of starts like stutter a little bit. And then he just goes like, cause like a lot of people hate you a lot of people you were filming a lot of it i was like i had to come down here and help them set up an interview a lot of people i was like jokingly but not i, I was like, okay, okay. Like we're done here. And he was like, no, no, no.

I mean, like, um, like he said, like, you know, anything you say, these people hate you. Like it's still worse. No, it's only when you open your mouth. You can tell them the sky's blue. You can tell them the truth. And they're like, fuck. Anytime you put your personality on display people hate you but no they love john i was like are you fucking for real like you could have just said i you know i like john

whatever the fuck you know it was when i was listening to i was like oh that actually is an interesting question before he got to that point um but because i was thinking when we do the lines of people we take pictures after the shows and um but because i was thinking when we do the lines of people we take pictures after the shows and stuff like that i was thinking like by like looks like demographic like how they dress or ages yeah yeah like sex is whatever it may be i was one and i was like huh no i we've done a lot of pictures i've never been like this guy's a cabin guy this guy's a guy this woman's whatever um that's another thing I did say. People will sometimes blatantly be like, you know, I listen to the podcast for John. I'll tell you what.

If they say that, they don't extend it to me. They don't tell me that you don't listen to me. And then and then omit the fact to him. Literally no one's ever said that. Don't make me feel like this. This is why we don't read mentions you goddamn motherfuckers everyone's so uncouth have some tact really a meat and green line is just a real life mentions it's just like people in there but they're nicer you scroll and

it refreshes it when it pops up but yeah they are nicer i actually want a question for you i i get in my head we should actually move the line back or something for you i i get in my head we should actually move the line back or something like that because i get in my head where i'm like they've been able to hear me for 10 people yeah so i i have to say something yeah right like because every time i'm like hey i even do it the support the same hog thing everything i'm like god damn i don't i mean i mean it all but like how many times have you heard me or maybe i think you say it too like that's the reason we do this, man. Yeah.

Cause everybody will have from like, Hey, you, you make my drive to work easier to like, my life would be hell at the cube if I didn't have you to like, I, I was having suicidal thoughts and like your show saves me. All of those things. I go, that's why I was equally important. Literally the same voice. That's why we equally important. Yeah. Literally the same voice.

That's why I do it, man. And I, and I always say, uh, you keep listening. I'll keep putting them out, man.

We'll keep doing it all the time, every time. But yeah, that is, that is funny that like, I'm sure positive. We are painfully awkward for those. Oh, because it's an awkward,

you could be, you could be, I don't know who's like the cool ryan reynolds is you put a hundred people in a row that you're supposed to smile and small talk and look excited every time even he's gonna start to look like weird by the end i'm like my face hurts i can't smile anymore uh but yeah sometimes they just have like brain farts and just say things that are just wildly inappropriate they don't they're like oh no i didn't mean it that way i'm like how else could you admit that um i think i'm gonna start filming those meet and greets heavens no please but uh

i don't even know how we got on this but uh i don't know yeah oh the mentions and all that shit yeah so i i've been off of it and i have not you know i guess it's because i have the burner it's like i'm not off of it, so I do. What I struggle with is – like I did the Howard Stern thing the other day. I saw the Howard Stern thing on my timeline, which, by the way, everybody tells me when you go back and listen, he was joking. He was – it was told – it was said in a very just – a very playful way. Like, it's not a race thing, is it? Like, ha, ha, ha.

And I could just see Robin Quivers laughing and poking and prodding himding him so whatever shout out to howard that was taken out of context um but usually i would just quote tweet that and say my piece and so that for now that i'm trying to put everything onto instagram i like screenshotted it and posted it and now i'm like there's a like like i posted on my story today there was a picture of Devin Booker and it was all of his stats from the playoffs. They're awesome. And I would have just quote tweeted and said, but his face still looks like a Snapchat filter because it looked like Devin Booker's face. It looks like he's face tuned in real life. He's just smooth.

He's probably got your mask. And I was like, that's a tweet that I just fire off tweets. You don't really just like fire off Instagram posts. know what i mean yeah well i agree and then i'm like back in the day back when you had 90 pictures you fucking put that put out an album so if i start like posting just like pictures and a couple like like do it that's what exactly we're talking about curating it's not how the algorithm works fuck this is how i use it i don't care but then it's like you put it up and you get like 72 likes on it with a person who has 500.

It happens. I love you. Put a post. It gets fucking 20 likes on it. You're right. You're right. I'm going to just start, just start firing them.

But I really don't miss it. Like I used to be like, I can't quit Twitter. I'm like, I can quit. Yeah. I don't give a fuck anymore. The,

uh, the, what I do instead of Instagram, cause I still look at it and I still use my account. And I still reply to stuff and retweet stuff. I just don't. That's the fucking boneyard is the app button. Yeah.

Just keep that at 20 plus at all times. Yeah. But what I do instead for my dopamine hits, obviously I've been doing crosswords and minis and all that. For two weeks now your boy's been learning spanish and i'm playing the ukulele i have not mentioned it intentionally because you're really doing it that's why i like don't really mention that like i'm working out now because like for so often we've always said we only do things for content yeah and i

actually think that was like a safety net for me like it's funny when we fail yeah where i'm like i'm just gonna do it i'm just gonna i'm just quietly i'm gonna do it and i'm enjoying it because it's very hit me with some spanish it's very game no i mean it's still way too early for me to like no span but like it's it's a game like you're the play and like as i'm playing i'm like i can see you i can see how this would work into tricking me to understand language right right and like i have a pretty strong foundation for spanish anyway so like i haven't even gotten past stuff i'm like it's it's right now like it's i'm playing on easy level it's very easy for me like hey it was dead blah blah but it's like it's

got characters and you move pieces and I'm like, Oh, I'm just playing a game. That's like telling me great job. And like, so I'm getting like my social media, like ding, ding.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But like, I'm like, I can see like in time, I can see this tricking me into being like,

wait, hang on. Do I know Spanish? It's a, it's like, I don't know if you realize it's a very popular app it's dual legal um but the uh 87 bucks i paid i was gonna say it's probably pretty for a reason pretty fucking cheap did you see that dumb slut on tiktok saying that uh she's her and her friends are smarter

than everybody because their first language is in English. She said that English is such a simple language that there aren't enough words to properly explain your emotions. So our emotional intelligence is lower than that of people who speak. I think she spoke French and the other girl spoke German because like there are just more words to describe more feelings. And she was like, there are just more words to describe more feelings. And she was like, it's just like English is like so easy. So like,

I'm sorry. You know, if you like speak English as your first and only language, you're like not as smart as us. And like me and my friend are like, we're, we're, our,

our, our conversations are like lacking because we're using English. And it's just, I don't know if I disagree with that. Oh, it's as someone who I don't know any other disagree with that. As someone who, I don't know any other languages. It's the most idiotic thing I've ever heard in my life.

What do you mean? I don't know. You lack the words to be able to explain how you're feeling? I guess it's more cultural than anything. We've talked about it. You ask someone how they're doing and how they're feeling in English in America, and they answer anything more than

fine you're like you don't think people in in mexico going man well that's what i was saying like it's probably more cultural where like it's and i i don't know enough about other cultures i think she took it to um the level of our brains are more developed than yours and then this guy stitched it and was he i mean he, with facts just like annihilated everything every single thing she was saying I think actually it's it's like technically one of the hardest words it's one of the hardest to learn

because we have like so many words that mean the same thing there, there, there, and all that kind of shit but, like, I mean to me, if you want to tell me that there are like is she doing makeup? oh, I watched this video and her voice was just so annoying if you want to tell me that there are like that like is she doing makeup yes oh i watch this video yeah yeah and her voice was just so annoying um if you want to tell me that like people from spain are more like passionate and flamboyant or something like that i guess that's

a stereotype i could understand but like i don't know don't tell me that like the words that your tongue comes up with make you fucking smarter than the words my tongue you know what i mean the that is it's just which noises do you make versus which noises do we make get the fuck out of here that is you want to call us like fat and uncultured and violent and trashy and work obsessed and oh yes that's america like forged for sure you know oh i think she also said like something about like why you learn english and like why it's like english is fucking everywhere that's why you colonization that's why i'm a motherfucker she said she said have you ever noticed how every like sign everywhere has english up that's because like it's a dumbed down country dumbed down english uh language that was what she said when he stitched it she said

have you ever noticed how there's uh english on every single sign everywhere and he just quickly interrupted he goes yes i have and uh the wikipedia page for colonialism popped up it's like yeah the british empire colonists like white people colonize the world yes i have it was fucking great it was really good um the uh fuck i was just gonna say something fuck fuck what were you just saying the you know his twitter and oh oh yeah yeah spanish it was uh the talking about smarter and all that stuff i don't know if it was in his special jew or if it was when i saw ari live but ari's talking about how like all the negative jewish stereotypes he's like, also, second smartest race in the world, and he carries on

doing the joke. He just goes, Korean. Have you seen the promo that he's doing now? I actually saw it on Mike Binder's Instagram. I don't know if it's him that did it or he's reposting

Ari's or whatever, but the Instagram picture flyer is Will you be Ari Shafir's six millionth viewer of the special show? I guess there are like five million, nine hundred and whatever thousand.

You could be the 6 million. You could be the french fry in this I was just about to say. There's minceys and there's french fries in the console. Next voicemail. Next voicemail I actually have when I play it. Real quick,

his other thing was what was his question? It's so funny how these voicemails go from, I was, he has a ticket to the live show. Yeah, that was it. He said like any advice,

right? I think it's something about like, Oh, if you guys can help him out. Oh, okay. I thought he meant like advice or like, like help me out on how to go to the live show.

What I was going to say is you come to live show, like fucking raise your hand and talk to that shit and whatever. What are you about to sandbag somebody with this? Huh? You're about to sandbag. No, I'm gonna pull it up. Yeah, you're sandbagging, son of a bitch. I hope it's not me.

Please don't be me. Please don't be me again. I'll play it. No, no, no. What's up, guys? KFC fights. Jackie Paz. Nick.

Love you guys all. Anyway, I was part of my friends over the weekend. Just drinking beers and all that stuff. One of my friends did a hypothetical about me. I thought it was a pretty good one. I decided to call in. If you could say the N-word

into a live mic, but then get a three-year buyout and hail as a hero. Would you do it? Wait, did that happen? I don't know. Certainly hail as a hero. You can become the face of a cause.

Bro, I was like, how's he going to do it? What's he going to do? What is he going to say? We know where he's going to go. It's so funny. Would you say the Emirates would like to become a hero? Bro, Mincy's going to be on stage at a Morgan Wallen concert tomorrow.

He's going to be shooting cases of Bud Light with Kid Rock. What's up, Phils? is it was wild like you if you weren't reading because obviously sometimes times have passed times time has passed since we did our immediate episode which by by the way, in retrospect, I think I came in at the right temperature. Yeah, you're right. Oh, you know what? You came in at the correct, uh,

you were not, you did not match the temperature of social media, but they were wrong. You were correct. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

The, it was because this is, that's a perfect example. Like I, I couldn't, could not, I will not, I shall not miss out on moments like that on Twitter. That's why I have to have that burner. Because when I clicked read for more on Corey Smutledge's fucking tweet, and Corey wrote a dissertation on Minsky,

when I hit read for mode, my jaw hit the floor and it still wasn't as long as that tweet was. That had to be 140,000 characters. It just kept on going. Guys can't even have fun anymore. He also called Mincy

old yeller and I was like, holy shit. He was like, I feel like, nope, that's not it that's that's that that long piece of text is still not um when uh when he said i i feel like i'll tell you what that's it's more jarring than mincy saying the other i thought about job when i saw when i thought it was going to be like one more extra line it's five paragraphs is and and and the first one he says i feel like old we just took the old our old gold retriever out back like gold yeller this is a fucking adult man like man. You call him a dog worth killing.

Mincy did start a trend, though. The A's guy said it the next day. These things come in threes, so everyone watch your tongue. That guy, that was a rough one. Dallas Braden just sitting next to him. He must have been like, what? I would have been, honestly, that's's me I would have just been like yeah do the reverse Collinsworth

the to the left it is it was a fun it was a funny day on Twitter I mean I see like everyone I can't believe it you can't believe it you're shocked by this? I appreciate that he worked hand in hand with him

and loves the guy. I just can't imagine spilling out this many words about anything, literally, other than certainly not this. I said it on the show right after. How much do you want to make a bet

that mincy works for barcelona again oh like a hundred thousand hundred thousand million dollar bet anything i'll i will bet you all the worth of penn's gambling fucking connections you know somewhere down the line he'll he'll come back in no doubt the uh we like everyone was like i mean it was shocking the the and i think that's the thing I have with social media too, is like, people see like a few people posting like they're sorry. The guy who said the N word got fired. And then everyone's like,

well, now I have to post it. And then like it all snowballs. And it's like, it's like, yeah, the guy who had a three year bit that he didn't work said the N word on day four and got fired.

I know we have a job where like you can't make the real world applications and things like that but if you were to break the rules and make a real world application this was the version of a sales guy who again i don't really know mincey but it seems like a nice guy everyone seems to like him they write dissertations for him and the uh three years for three years a sales guy that running joke in the office was this sales guy never works and they're like hey sales guy you gotta do a little work today and then he put the company's biggest account in danger the whole account the whole the whole company and they were like you have to fire that guy or else things are really bad.

And you go, okay, he's fired. He didn't work for three years. Dave said that Mincy in three days did more damage to the company than anybody has ever done. And that's probably the truth. He also said he let off the conversation. He picked up the phone and he said to Mincy, you should have been fired a hundred times. Dave said that email to everybody. Email to everybody. Like, you should have been fired a hundred times they said that email to everybody everybody like you should have been fired for a hundred other things not this but

like this is the one that gotta let you go and then it's like i don't know man ball don't lie no i'm only joking and i did i sent mincy a message and he only only liked it so i don't think he likes us i i wouldn't like me either if i was mincy i guess i don't really why i do like i'm not even making jokes as expensive just like stating but not even these aren't even like the inside barstool facts the well-known facts that were on social media like yeah two things the two things i knew in life last week last monday one week from today before mincy got fired there were two things I knew. People thought it was funny that Mincy didn't work,

and you can't say the N-word. Yeah, those are facts. Those are two things I knew last week, and I know them true today. No, but I'm just saying, I don't do any content with him.

I don't really know him. I like the guy. I'm sure he hates, hates, fucking, whatever, but. I don't,

if he hates us, I think it's unwarranted. Yeah, but I also, I'm just saying, if you do, you do, like,

whatever, but, um, I think it's unwarranted. Yeah, but I'm just saying, if you do, you do, like, whatever. You think if you got fired, there would be an outpouring of, like... No. No, I don't think so either for me. I think it takes a special character of, like, you have to have, like... I do more ladder drills. They don't get it.

Yeah, like, what's it called? Your Q score more ladder drills. They don't get it. Yeah. What's it, what's it called? Your Q score, your Q quotient or whatever, like your rating, right? Like you gotta have a specific one, I think to become a really like martyr, to become a martyr, you know, you either gotta be like immensely popular or like a quirky, like we love you sort of thing.

Yeah. I think there'd be a fucking, according to that asshole upstairs, there'd be a huge group of people cheering that I got fired. Nobody out there was really like, yes, get rid of Mincy. I think there'll be a good amount of people when the day comes for me, and it will come.

Because I know that's going to happen. People are going to be like, see, the mob came for you. And I was like, I know. I'm capitulating to the mob. They will come one day. Anyway, next up. KFC fight, rest the gang. I saw a picture of a doppelganger trick yesterday on Twitter.

And obviously we know about the final verse. So I've kind of two questions. One, who's the second most doppelganged? That's a terrible choice of words, but doppelgang person at barstool obviously fights the first and then second question is what percent of the population of the world so what are we talking seven billion what percent of that is a variance of final burn bro i mean the trend

is the it's a trend might even might be number one trend gets a lot of doppelgangers i'll say this trend is like the if he's not one he's the clear two he trend is like the create a player blank template yeah so like it's like before you before you put hair and before you put features on it's like it's like there was a bald guy and then you give him a beard and then you press end yeah that's that's trent you that's still one of my favorite tweets is dave when dave landed in iowa just land in iowa everyone here is trent yeah yeah but you have like distinct features about you that i think are you know i'm not saying you're like some one-of-a-kind snowflake like you know unique look but i don you're like some one of a kind snowflake, like, you know, unique look,

but I don't know the fact that there's guys who have the same fucking nose and the same, like all of your haircuts throughout the years have been doppelganger. When you've had the long fucking like Benjamin Franklin hair, you got that. There's short hair, the like, you know,

the, the nose, the mouth, like all of it. It's just like every version of you. And we see it all the time. I wonder sometimes, sometimes is it like i think that's part of why like it's like six degrees of separation when you know and interact with this many people like once you had when you had like 5 000 followers in the very beginning like it wasn't

happening when you have 100 000 followers it starts to happen like crazy just because there's there's only so many people so so many looks in this world. Yeah. But it doesn't happen to other people. Yeah, it really doesn't. I think it's why a couple here and there, but you get it all the time.

I think it's my superpower. I think it's, I think it's why you kind of say it sometimes. And actually, uh, Erica Fletcher said to me the other day too, when I was getting a haircut, um,

where she's like, you can kind of just do like everything and I think that's why because I'm such a malleable look that I can just do you put a ponytail in and I'm like alright it works you put on a dumb shirt it works you put on

it's because I look like a different person I'm always a new person it's very confusing speaking of that has anyone seen Guardians yet? no if anyone i don't know how you'll tell me but send me an email um you can't reach me anymore no mentions you know but there if you've seen guardians there was a part during it where i went that's gonna be a problem for you yeah because somebody looks at you and does something like racist or bad or something no no that's going to be a problem for me. For you? Yeah. Because somebody looks at you and does something racist or bad or something? No! That's not bad.

I'm going to see. I'm sure it's on social media now. I don't want to ruin it. It's not a part of the movie. It's not a spoiler. Oh, just say it. It's really bad. We'll edit it out. How bad could it be? Nick, did you hear about who dies?

No, not yet. i'm assuming it's hang on this is like so hard to find because like everything i google is just like yeah that's what the fucking movie is um who's like the bad guy or something no no no it's it's i i guess in a sense it's bad for you just because you mean you're getting a lot of them or like you're about like it's no it's just like a lot of people gonna be like that was yeah it's uh it's again it's not a spoiler it's really in in part of the movie there's a scene where peter quill goes into like space but he doesn't have any suit or anything and so he like starts to swell and freeze and i was like yo man everybody ever tell you look like chris pratt when he's out in outer space without a suit yo i've been told in my face oh yeah you look like

chris pratt parks and rec yeah i gotta get it like as it was getting worse, I was like, something's happening. And I wasn't like... You were the Leo. I wasn't like, that's clearly me, but I was like, that's going to be a thing. He's got kind of like strawberry brown blonde hair. I don't even have a color hair.

No, it's just... People have called you ginger. People have called you blonde people will call you blonde whatever and then it's so funny that's your personality too yeah it's like oh we're gonna be we're gonna like watch a scary movie sad movie happy we're gonna drink we're gonna hang out we're gonna skydive like whatever whatever i'll be whatever i'll be i'll be whatever you want me to be on the outside on the inside i don fucking care. I just want to make you happy. Who should I vote for?

Okay, yeah, that sounds good too. But it is, if you see Guardians, Peter's in space, just like. Actually, I'm mad I said it, because I was wondering if people would think it themselves. But again, it wasn't me being like, holy shit, that's me. But it was me going, people are going to say that's like, there's a difference between. Yeah, you're right.

I know how they're going to say. Yeah. Pabst, why is Lindor trending? He's batting second. I'll tell you what, Mets stink. Really? I don't think they're going to be good this year. I mean, fucking, my last hope was Justin Berlander,

and he gave up two bombs in the first inning of his first appearance. And then he settled in for the rest of the game. But that, I say this a million times on the Mets podcast, I think about sports in terms of the script. Yeah, yeah. And the foreshadowing and all that stuff because it feels like it's scripted when like you know berliner gives up two home runs the tigers and the first time he takes the mound it's probably not gonna end well see there that's that's the

difference of of uh upbringing and by upbringing i mean like we're being raised by parents i mean like what you yeah i was raised by a woman fucking punching people in the face over there i mean like like what you experienced as like a sports fan because when something like that happens that's like the dvd when we win that's what he said yeah yeah that's gonna be the turning point of the dvd yeah and then ours is just like no that's the that's how you start the obituary we were doing for the they have we still say championship dvd they have such bad pitching it's like and that was gonna be you know you needed like max and verlander to be aces and then the other guys kind of fill out and they all

bro we kick around we all we talk about our fifth inning reliever the way you talk about like he's the eighth inning guy we're like who's our fifth inning guy that's great because they nobody gets out of the fourth so the mets have an endless parade of guys you've never heard of because you just can't use the Libras every day. So we just bring these guys up, and it's just like, Yaka Bonus is on the mound. I'm like, who? This guy Curtis with two S's.

Who? These guys are just like, they're fucking literally like, they were selling hot dogs in the stands last game, and now they're pitching. I just don't know. I think last year was the special one. It'll probably be seven more years. That's what the Mets do.

They get good, and they go away for seven years like cicadas. We are cicadas. Mets fans get loud, and then we die. Then we come back seven years. It'll be like the Mets will be good again, and Mincy will come back. All right. Final voicemail. We did three. We did. Noail we did three we did no we did two

the second one hey guys long time listener first time voicemail leaver my name is Mark I live here in southern Alberta I am currently driving home right now and on my way home I passed a sign that is advertising one of our heritage parks. It's called Head Smash and Buffalo Chunk, which reminded me of a neat little fact and gave me a question for you guys.

So prior to settling times in southern Alberta here, indigenous individuals would herd up and chase the giant buffalo off this cliff where they would fall and die, and they would go and harvest their hides and their meat, which I think is very, very genius, especially back in the day before they had modern day weapons, like they thought, well, perfectly, get these truck-sized animals and fucking throw them off a cliff. That's how we'll kill them. Genius, right? so that kind of leads me to my question for you guys if you guys were back in the day during those times what would you guys be doing would you guys be the ones out there hunting we have to get there to gather it back home building shit they'll tend to the fire what do you guys be doing all right thanks guys have a good one

that's a great way to kill the buffalo mountain was it called they they fucking they they gas lit buffalo into killing themselves That is a great way to kill. Head smash at Buffalo Mountain, was it called? They fucking... They gaslit Buffalo into killing themselves. Go ahead, jump. Go ahead, jump, you fucking pussy. You won't do it. You won't. Alright.

I would be hunting, but not for... I don't think my instinct would be, let's go hunt. I'd be pressured yeah you'd be good at it too like i don't know that guy could like oh i don't i don't think well i think i i think i i would be crying i actually don't know i'm killing the animals huh like for killing the animals what do you mean the uh oh wait you want a funny story speaking of like why we do a podcast so the uh this is this is that it's just hitting me now i am very stupid the um i'm doing like barcelona outdoors i'm doing it not not for a few months but i've been talking to sydney about

it and she was like does this weekend work for you? This is an interesting thing. She said to me, does August 14th to 17th work? And she's like, it'll be me, you, and Mince. I don't know if he's still invited. But I was like, yeah, that sounds great. Perfect. Lock it in. And it's my birthday yeah i was gonna say is it is but like i felt like it was weird to say i can't that's my birthday so i was just like yeah

it's almost like the people like is it is it more obnoxious to say hey it's my birthday or to downplay your birthday so much you're hiding it from people yeah it just is i think it ended up i ended up saying yes to where i was like it'd be funny that that that now knowing you you're not gonna do anything that weekend like your family won't even see you she could probably go yeah you're not a big birthday guy right no but i am because my sister's the same one so i like right i like seeing her for yeah um i think anybody in the world though if if someone said to me like, we're going on March 6th, and I would just be like, that's my birthday. Like, the other person on the other end of that would be like, oh, he's going to go see his family. Or, like, he's got people in his life that need to celebrate his birthday.

Whether or not they don't need to know the extent of, like, whether you do or not. I think you can get away with saying, like, oh, it's my birthday weekend. Can we do it? Look at it. My birthday's on that weekend. Not my birthday weekend. I think that would be fair. You just said yes. Would you say, yeah, yeah, sounds good.

Also, it's my birthday. No, it sounds good. Well, Sydney, you better fucking roll out the red carpet. Imagine you kill a fucking Buffalo, throw it off a Roof or something and you She has a cake for you out there Stick a candle on it

I think if I was back in that time I remember trying to figure this out, actually Cause I can't I'm not gonna be a hunter Lord knows, you know, I'd probably be dead is the answer But if, you know actually because i can't i'm not gonna be a hunter lord knows you know i'd probably be dead is the answer but if you know let's say somehow i'm not getting left behind and dying in the cold or getting eaten by a predator i am not a hunter i am also not gonna sit at home with the ladies and gather so i'd have to do something very like snaky to you make it i'd have to be like the uh the priest the preacher or

something i'm a high high holy holy high man or whatever they call that uh where it's like i'm important so i like sit in the teepee and like they you bring back like the head of the buffalo to me and i go like oh yeah yeah and then everyone's like oh he blessed us we're good yeah and for some reason i'm like uh you know um i'm irreplaceable like you know he's oh he's the head of the village and i'm just sitting there like whatever dude when i mean it would just be like the men would be getting ready and i would be like i gotta go with that god damn and i would just pretend i knew what i was doing the whole time i actually this weekend maybe yeah this, I get a knock on my door. Not even like a buzz first, just a knock on my door.

And I was like, what the fuck is that? So I go, no, it was Friday. No, Friday, it was Thursday. Whatever, it doesn't matter. Right. But it was just like, I get a knock on the door, I open the door, and there's just two men standing there.

Beards, they got dirt on them. Real men. Oil on them, all that stuff. I open the door. And there's two men standing there. Beards. They got dirt on them. Real men. Oil on them. All that stuff. I was in like a pair of bright yellow shorts and a sweater. Yeah. And I was watching Modern Family in the middle of the afternoon on the work day. Yeah.

And it was like. Yeah. Lazy and gay. And I was like, right away. I was like, oh, God damn it. These fucking guys are going to judge me. And then. And they were like, like away, I was like, oh, god damn it. These fucking guys are going to judge me. And then, and they were like,

like, we got a bleeding radiator. And I was like, I don't even know if that was English. Uh-huh. What's bleeding? Who? I was like, you got a what? I was like, I'm sorry. You got to.

And they go, what the who? And they go, we got to bleed the radiator. And I was like, come on, man. I was probably doing Duolingo. I was like, ¿tú hablas español? Easier. You smoke it in a different language. That's fucking great. And they were like, we're like we gotta bleed the radiator and i i call it a radiator so i like i was like what's your normal i was like what the fuck

i was like you got to help me out. He goes, meet me halfway. Say it in a different way. Draw me a picture. Do something. He's like, the heat. We've got to drain the heat. And I was like, oh, oh, oh, okay, okay.

And I'm throwing it. I was like, I don't know where the radiator is. So I take him to my bathroom closet which I close in the winter cause it throws so much heat that's where the fucking radiator is no it's not Kevin it's just a pipe that throws a lot of heat

so I was like oh it's in here it's in here and I open the bathroom closet and he's like there's no radiator in here I was like well you guys got me. I don't know where it is. Turns out I have three radiators in my house. If I were to show you a picture of a radiator, you'd know where they were. One is behind a plant that I forgot about.

One room is just completely empty. That's fair. There are plenty of things, especially in this new house, that I know what they are. I started walking the property with a couple guys, and they like, you know, where does the line to like the furnace go? I was like, you know, you live here, right? I just moved in. Bro, my favorite. That's fucking great.

So you two gentlemen, I got you. Nope. Like not a radiator. I love it you probably were calling it a radiator for them too right that was the one that's the one habit i kicked i uh i said radiator growing up because my dumb retarded white trash family did and i so i did too and then like it's the one linguistics thing like i you know i'll say mario till i'm dead i dig my heels in on all these things and everyone was just like it radiates heat yeah it's not radiated i was like all right all right i got it as they were leaving i think i think they did this as like kind of to needle me they were, you got any radiators in the other bathroom? I was like, you know I don't know.

You might as well check it. Those guys should just fuck with you. We've got to check the bottom for the scramble. You got a scramble? We've got to fix the scramble. That'll be another $1,000. They could charge you

anything. The guy was like, they can charge you fucking anything going through that right now the guy was like 9,000 I was like we got a deal today I kind of made a face and I was like oh jeez

that's not what I wanted to hear it was like Dennis and Dee with the crack rocks he goes I'll do it for 8,000 well that's a thousand dollars better than 9 I wanted to hear. And he goes, it was like Dennis and D with the crack rocks. He goes, don't worry about it. Like, well, that's a thousand dollars better than nine. So you got a deal partner.

I should be doing like $2,100. Um, okay. Interview time. Yep. We've got, we'll pull through on the show. Oh,

one last question for you. Uh, does a straw have one hole? How many straws does a hole have? I've heard this. See how many straws does a hole have? What's the problem? My gut instinct says two

and then when I think about it, I think it's one. Yeah, that's exactly what I thought. It's like top and bottom. It's like, nope. I'm not going to bug you if you tell me you say two. Like, I get it. There's this side and there's this side. Yeah.

If I ask you how many holes a tunnel has, you'd say two. There's an entrance and an exit. Yeah. But I don't think I would call it a hole. I'd be like, there's two sides to a straw. You know? Yeah. There's an entrance and an exit.

I think it might be two actually i i would be inclined to say two because i would say something like uh like if the top of the straw was like clogged or something i'd be like the top hole is clogged the bottom hole's not right right right you would differentiate between top and bottom when i wouldn't just be like the holes are clogged the straw is clogged and the bottom hole is not. Right, right, right, right. You differentiate between top and bottom. I wouldn't just be like, the holes are clogged. The straw is clogged. Well, that part of the straw is clogged, you know? Maybe you would say the straw is clogged.

This straw is broken. Yeah, no, I guess I would. But I'm saying if there was something like... Because if you plug it, it has zero holes. No, yeah. Well, I guess it has one. That's that's what i mean doesn't serve its purpose so if you have a well a hole is a weird way does a bucket have a hole get an opening right but it's never a straw is never closed off yeah and then you give it holes

it's just it permanently is a cylinder like uh but yeah i mean if you said a like a bucket has a hole you're thinking like the side of it has a hole not the top of it so a hole is just the weird way to put it but i think most people would do what you just did where you go it has two oh no wait it's just one but then when you really start to think about it like you could make the argument this is a um or like a semantics word thing where it's like a hole versus a you know it's empty it's filled it's a one thing it's two sides versus two holes but that's one that you get high and can argue about it for a long time i'll ask frankie about it he'll be fucking like banging his desk my whole day is ruined i think that's wrong i got a million

straws of borelli how many holes do i have i think that's one. I got a million straws of Borelli. How many holes do I have? I think that's one that actually people, cause I think everyone's kind of like two, one. Oh, I guess I don't think anyone really digs their heels in on that one. I think that's when you can see both sides. Do you know what happened to Frankie Borelli?

We just fell ass backwards into a comedy club. Uh, kind of incredible. Yeah. He, the Borelli family bought a bar in long beach. That just happens to be one of the places that all family bought a bar in Long Beach that just happens to be one of the places that all of the best comics in the world go

to work out new material just a little bit outside the city to get out of the city I think the old club used to if you headlined they would also give you a condo for the weekend so you could stay on the beach and Borelli's bought it

and it's like a tap room now it's like a bar not like a full-blown restaurant and like they bought it and like that week shane gillis was there yeah just like mark dorman there was like opening night yeah it's like you guys just accidentally like and it's not like they knew it like they he was just like shane is performing at my dad's new restaurant what and and then people just keep going like it's not like the comics are stopping because it's new ownership and i was like uh he's talking about that at the fdny game it's fucking we should like take advantage of that yeah like can we run this you might be seeing a pup bunk there at some point is it big like that i mean it must be they're doing comedy no i think i think it was it's a smaller room but it is something where it's like even just for fun

like yeah the thing about those bars when you're in long island you can get like a fucking like a house like like well okay he's that bar like they're huge because you're not like crammed in the city so you can do things like you know have a whole crowd in there so anyway that's sick uh will polter on the show case your radio let's talk to him are we are you are you you're just not in a cast or anything no i'm not no it's not that bad it's just one of those things that's like you just can't wait there for a while and then yeah you said it was soccer it was soccer yeah i was actually uh i was just watching wait are we good over there uh we are good to go all right i was watching your uh gq 10 things you can't live without right turns out barely you can't can't live with it yeah yeah it sounds like this a little

closer thank you so much um yeah wait how old are you i'm 30 you can't play sports when you're 30 this is you can't you get that three handle and you get hurt what happened was it like a freak thing or was it just like yeah i didn't do as is customary didn't do anything impressive didn't make a difference to the team whatsoever is this like a men's league team? No, this was just like backyard with some friends. Oh, all right. Okay. And I rolled my ankle. And yeah, yeah.

After about 20 minutes. I do it quite regularly, actually. I'm very accident prone. It's a nice representation of the Arsenal season, though. Yeah, it is. It fit right in. It kind of is. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Although we seem to be doing it in kind of the final moment. We seem to be rolling our ankle. Yo, rolling your ankle when you're a kid, you do it like twice a day and you're like, whatever. Right. When you're an adult and you roll your ankle, I'm like, I'm going to die. I'm going to die. I need amputated.

Take it off. This will be the end. It is awful, man. Thanks for still coming in i would honestly if i rolled my ankle out bed i'd be like cancel everything i stubbed my toes i'm done i'm done i actually i'm such a child now as an adult with getting injured and stuff like that that like so i was i was eating breakfast got up to go put my dish away kicked the table and was like yelling. I had headphones on already.

I was like, you goddamn son of a bitch! And I kept yelling long after my brain had registered. That didn't hurt. I'm like a little kid who starts crying. I was like walking past. It didn't even hurt that bad. You're just reacting to kicking a table. The only good thing about getting old is that you stop. You don't roll your ankle.

You don't... Remember getting the wind knocked out of you when you don't roll your ankle you don't remember getting the wind knocked out of you when you're a kid oh yeah if i got the wind knocked out of me now i'd be like this is a heart attack i'm dying call an ambulance yeah it's that kind of stuff once you're older no fucking way man it really is yeah yeah no i definitely i definitely learned my lesson uh it was definitely a reminder i'm not as young as i used to be i mean thank god you're not filming anything right yeah that that's that's the nice thing. If this had happened on set at Guardians,

that would have been maybe a bit of a problem. Imagine you roll into a Marvel outfit, you're like, we got to shut down production for the day. The superhero rolled his ankle.

I was in the backyard with the boys, so tell Chris Pratt to go home for the day. The perfect embodiment of humanity. He can't walk, he was playing soccer yeah man you got you

you're fucking jacked these days huh oh i don't know about that i mean look i i gave it my i gave it my best shot you know whatever and whatever shot i gave it once you turn up and you do a scene with dave batista oh yeah yeah well that's the thing you're probably comparing it to that but i'm comparing you to me so So in that sense, you're my Batista. That's hilarious. That's so funny. But people say it happened now. And, dude, I remember you're in bed, not to be creepy, in Dope Sick.

And I was like, what the fuck was that? I'll tell you what. I haven't watched that show but i know the picture you're talking about that's how fucking jacked you were oh well yeah you know i was really lucky and i just started working out for for a few years prior to even kind of auditioning for guardians and it was something that really helped with my mental health like like physical health for the sake of my mental and i kind of was going to the gym anyway as a means of kind of staying fit both in a mental

and physical sense and kind of started during lockdown so I yeah was kind of in in relatively like um decent shape for dope sick and then one other thing that I did after that and so that by the time the audition kind of rolled around for for guardians I was sort of I was in the car park of the ballpark as I like to say um so it was kind of an easier transition you know the worst part of it you just said how it's like you know i was 15 and all that the worst part of that is that it works like whatever whatever if you were like you tried like working out and they're like you're like yeah it doesn't do anything it's it's chemical it's chemical if you if you push up it's like damn i feel better i feel god

damn it sucks but i feel better it's really it's really weird man if you push up you're like damn i feel better i feel god damn it sucks but i feel better it's really it's really weird man you know and and obviously if you do it in a way that's safe and responsible and natural you know you can protect your mental health and you know physical health like in the process um see i'm thinking about doing steroids okay i'm thinking about doing it in a legal way just how can i get from point a to point b as fast as possible yeah i thought that's not so great i don't walk to california i fly it's quicker exactly a great point um but yeah speaking of we brought this oh my god yeah buddy so i i actually you got me hooked on this i had a buddy who was like yo you'd love milk bar pie

and i was like i was like i don't even know what you're saying i don't know what that what that is but those words and he's like and this is probably two three years ago and he's like he's like will poulter has it on his gq 10 things you can't live without and i knew who you were and i wasn't making life decisions based on you at the time. But he showed me the video anyway. And I was like, that looks fucking delicious. I've not had this. Oh, really? I'm excited for you.

I'm a sweet tooth. Like, I'm still a child. I eat, like, pastries and cookies and cakes and stuff. That's the good stuff. It's been three years of I get it. You got a whole pie. It's not even a slice. Do you know how much this costs?

Oh, my gosh. The whole pie. I don't know. How are they? How are they costed, how, how do you guess? 28 bucks. 90. Oh,

it's more than I thought. That is a lot more than I thought. That must mean they just take whatever the price of one is and just price it out like times eight or whatever, right? Because that's crazy. To be fair, the pie itself is 60 and then the rest were delivery charges. Oh,

okay. Got you. Tin foil is 30 bucks. to be fair the pie itself is 60 and then the rest were delivery charges uh okay got you tin foil is 30 bucks that's wild yeah it's actually i wasn't i was like kind of debating whether or not it was weird to show up with something you like a lot right and then i saw the price and i was like never mind that's hilarious i gotta get this well i i don't know so i've heard of milk bar but i never never, I didn't know what this served. I said, what is it? And he goes, it's a pie.

It's just basically a pie of butter. It's like butter and sugar. It's not the healthiest thing on the planet. It is the most delicious thing in the universe though. You don't have to have any if you don't want right now, but I'm definitely going to have to try this. Well, I'm excited to see, I'm excited to see you react to this to be honest because it's a it's a delicious thing it's um it's the invention of christina tosi who's an incredible chef she has milk bar um all over the city uh it was at mama fugo they made it right right so so christina used to work um with

dave chang and mama fuku and then she uh established her own um pastry kitchens um and and the the milk bar kind of franchise as it were um so it's kind of all over tell her to make it easier to get out of the pie i i should have got the individuals were more price appropriate and then i was like well the price of a 90 one is funnier so i went with that will you want a mangled pie listen there are no points for, this is one of our more ridiculous. Eat it like a pirate. I love the fact that you're eating it off a huge knife.

Jesus. Oh, man. Yeah. There you go. There you go. I did not need this introduced in my life. I knew you were going to love it. You just put like 30 pounds on it.

That's your latest problem right now. And honestly, I didn didn't get what i mean i understood kind of what he meant by butter but now i took a bite it's like yeah this is this is like an uncooked pie you know what i mean it's like it's it's like when you eat the brownie batter or whatever the cookie dough it's like that's just all this is right god damn now now let's address why you stuck this blade of the knife in your mouth that way. You wouldn't stab Wade. Pirates eat it off the side. You were a sneeze away from that coming out of the back of your skull. I just read.

Oh, my God. I have sugar everywhere. I read about this when he told me about it. And she used to call it crack pie. They rebranded. They did rebrand. I think the first name is pretty appropriate yeah it was it was kind of a a happy accident as i understand it um christina brought it in for like staff meal so she brought it in like as a kind of off-menu item

when she wasn't actually cooking at uh one of the mumfuku restaurants that she was working at the time she was um she was in like an administrative role and she made it and all the pastry chefs huddled around and they were like this is incredible how did you make this and she's like i don't even really know it was kind of a mistake and they're like you got to walk us through the steps because this has to be on the menu dave was like okay we're going to put it on the menu it's all in his uh memoir e a peach which is a good read right if you're interested now now like now that you're in shape, do you stay away from this kind of stuff? No, no, no. I mean, as soon as we calm in the whole thing. I mean, that is my Achilles heel is food like that.

If I didn't have that in my life, I would be in great shape. Because other foods, I can eat like healthy real food. I don't mind eating like salmon and grilled chicken. So that's fine. Yeah. It's afterwards. It's like I need first dessert, second dessert, snack before bed, and ice cream. I stayed at Kevin's apartment once.

And I know you're a foodie. So this is probably offensive to you. And to be fair to Kevin. But I'm not like a food snob. Like, you know, you like what you like. Yeah. If you're white trash, you're white trash. Kevin, to be fair, I also have children.

I'll eat all that shit myself, but it's like I got to have all their snacks, and then they're in the house. I'm like, well, daddy's going to have a couple too. I'm a tax man. So my daddy's always saying, just come, like, eat half my cake. You're a tax man. You got to pay the tax. What the hell?

Yeah, my dad checking if it's poisonous or not. He's like, my mother made it. That's your wife. We trust that woman. We love that woman. Why are we...

That's funny. So, I mean, Guardians, man, is, you know, one of the most beloved series of all time. Right. One of the most successful Marvel movies ever. And you get to, you know, one of the most beloved series of all time. Right. One of the most successful Marvel movies ever.

And you get to, you know, be a part of that finale. I got to imagine a bucket list thing that you probably didn't even know was on your bucket list. Yeah, yeah. Actually, you know what, man? That's a really good way of putting it. I think, like, retrospectively, I was like, wow, I think that was a bucket list moment right there. I mean, there's only so many spots in Marvel. For sure.

Although there's quite a bit these spots in marble, you know, although there's quite a bit these days, but you know, to be, to get one of those roles is awesome. Yeah. Yeah. And I feel like, uh,

you know, yeah, that's a good slice right there. That's a good, no, no, I'm going to let you, I'm going to let you,

I loosened it up. Have you gone plastic utensils or have you gone? Uh, no. Oh, okay. That was a butter knife. It's a sensible. doing all that have you gone plastic utensils or have you gone uh no just okay that was just a sensible dinner knife you didn't give him a fucking machete

there's less theater to that but it's safer it's definitely safer yeah that is crazy good man it's really good i still really don't even get what it is is it just like like uh gooey sugar like what is it it's just it's just all the it's really i still really don't even get what it is is it just like like uh gooey sugar like what is it it's just it's just all the it's all the stuff that's probably really bad for you but it just that's why it tastes so good that's why it tastes so good um regards was amazing oh thank you incredible you are i i i saw it i come on you come on screen with quite an entrance. And I was like, he's very gold. And then I read about your gold juice bag that you had. Oh, right.

Yes. You would have, like, you basically get hosed down after every day. Not far off. Not far off. You should have kept that. Because you have, in my research on you for the episode today, you have fans who are very obsessed with you oh do i think you have i know you're like off social media right yeah well if you don't

walk by a mirror today i got so much makeup on i don't do my own hair uh if i look half all right i can't take any credit for it but no the the the hosing down like uh kind of like a like a zoo animal yeah like wait so it's in a corner and just yeah you're just covered in gold for this like yeah the toe is it not not quite so i had kind of um head and i would say i don't know i guess it goes down to kind of about like collarbone. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. And then hands up to kind of sort of, I don't know, like a third of the way up my forearm, um,

uh, pretty much, but for the majority, how long does that take every, every shoot? You know, we had an incredibly talented team. So Lexi and Lou,

uh, the, the makeup folks who, who looked after me and they, they got it down in like, I want to say like an hour or so. Yeah. Probably a long time though. Probably an hour. want to say like an hour or so. Yeah, probably.

It's still a long time though. Probably an hour. Like every day. And the hair was an hour. So like the two things together, just under two. Yeah. It was on fire.

Again, it does not look like that when I do it. But yeah, they're super talented. Cassie and Steph were the people in charge of the hair and they were amazing. And they're really fun people to be around first thing in the morning, last thing at night when the hosing down happens. It's nice to be around people

who are really just cool to hang with. Hose time! Yeah, exactly. But yeah, so that made it a pleasure, to be honest. It meant it went a lot quicker than you might think. Oh, you know what?

Actually, I got to show you something. So I saw a screener for the movie It meant it went a lot quicker than you might think. Oh, you know what? Actually, I got to show you something. So I saw a screener for the movie, and they had a – They had some like pre-show entertainment or something. Yeah, they had pre-show entertainment. And I got to be honest, I don't think this was Marvel. I think it was the movie theater. I don't know if this is how I would do it. It's like some guy beatboxing.

Oh, it's like a... I walked into the theater and I was like, what is happening? Am I in the right place? That was someone kind of beatboxing a a like a soundscape i don't know what they were interested yeah interesting i take my hat off to anyone who can beat yeah that is one of those things if i could do it i probably do it all the time super annoying about it when we were when we were kids we would like skip school and go to a friend's

house whose parents we knew we were at home and we'd like lime wire or kazaa and we just lime wire beatboxing lime wire and then we would just sit there and just try to do it i wouldn't give it anything to see that if rolling my ankle after 20 minutes of soccer hasn't aged me the mention of lime LimeWire has made me feel. The good old days, man. One time I had, I downloaded, I forget what song it was. I was trying to download some pop song, obviously. And it was a sketch or a skit of, I believe it was just called.

Not called. They just named it. They named it the song. And it was Barney having diarrhea. And so... Was it a song? The song was whatever pop song I was trying to download. But then once I hit play, it's like,

Whoa, see you later, kids! And then it turns into someone in the bathroom going, Whoa, boy! Oh, my God. It was wild. See the good old days, man. The good old days of the internet. I'd rather that kind of shit than what goes on these days.

Yeah, that's some harmless disinformation. That's right. That's the, you know... That's the wholesome shit. That didn't overthrow governments. That just gave me the giggles in church.

Speaking of weird video habits, I have a question for you. Don't weird him out with this. It's not. It's weird. So I have – like when I go to sleep, I like to watch – Stop right there because what do most people say? They're like, I like white noise or I like to watch like a show that's familiar to me.

That's all normal, right? Okay. Tell him what you've been watching. The three things. It's something I've uncovered that I think I have. One, you're in. That's why I'm bringing it up. One is Dope Sick.

Okay. The most, you know, just like easy, breezy watch. The lightest watch. I hit it. And then the other two are Worth and Spotlight. Oh, wow. And I think I have a Keaton thing. I never even realized it was all Keaton.

It's either a Keaton thing have a keaton thing i never even realized it was either it's either a keaton thing or a wildly depressing thing or michael keaton in a wildly depressing thing it's either intense political drama or michael keaton it is i mean it's we're talking about 9-11 the uh you know priest scandal or the opioid epidemic these are the things that put john to sleep at night they all are very soothing it's calm conversations with nice music sick fuck once the other guys get to the mix we're good it's gonna be our entertainment team oh my gosh he's so good he's so good it's amazing to look at his career because you know for all the incredible kind of sort of i guess what people

sometimes suppose like highbrow drama yeah you know that he does yeah he's also can just come in to a movie like the other guys and just crush yes just have a plc on everyone yeah yeah yeah he's a cool dude i'd like to get him in i love i i did you get much time with him i did get to spend a lot of time with michael and you know that was one of the coolest things is that you know someone obviously i admired he's a legend you know and like for a young actor like myself watching someone kind of conduct themselves the way that he did whereby he shouldered this massive responsibility of this role that was like deeply personal to him you know and then to also extend himself to like younger actors like me by just being really kind and encouraging and supportive and still kind of occasionally find time to like you know joke around when it was appropriate to and still kind of occasionally find time to like, you know, joke around when it was appropriate to, and just kind of just be a, just be a nice guy. It was, it was very cool.

It was a cool cat. Very cool. Anybody who's Batman too, it's like. And he, yeah, he was back as Batman, dude. Yeah, that's right. That's right. Have you seen where he says, he says like, you want to get nuts in the new one? No. Like, cause you know, that's his phrase in the first Batman. You want to get nuts?

I always thought that was a Costanza well yeah yeah yeah yeah Costanza does say it but he he he goes crazy at one point he like hits he has a crowbar he whacks everything off the mantle he's like let's get me he doesn't say no that's Jack Nicholson that's a joker no Michael Keaton does it back to him like oh okay I haven't seen the movie I think um but and then in the new one he says it much more calm, but he's like, let's get nuts or something like that. It's like a little nod. They played him side by side. It's kind of cool.

Oh, cool. But yeah, he's up there. He's one of those. I mean, you've worked with an outrageous for a 30-year-old, and you've been in business forever. But you've even got Leo, Hardy, Keaton. Aniston, Sudeikis. Aniston, Sudeikis. You've had it.

You've done them all. Who's your favorite? I'm really lucky. No, no. Who's your least favorite? Who do you hate the most? We'll just rank them. Let's just list them.

From best to worst. I've been really lucky to work with the folks I have worked with. I mean, it's hard for me to pick a favorite, obviously. But, you know, I think anytime, again, as a young person in this industry, you're around, you know, more experienced people. You kind of have your proverbial notebook out and you're kind of absorbing just through observing them and watching what they do. do and that's such a that's such a cool position to be in you know what helps them your accent you know oh right like if i if i'm like an established actor and i'm on set with a kid actor or like a teenage actor you know but he has an accent i'd be like all right he you know he's like legit he drinks he's sophisticated are you i feel like you're you're you're out you're my the latest

person on my list of oh i didn't know he had an accent which is a lot it's very it's a very common thing for americans where we're like oh they don't talk like me not everybody talks like me but i i didn't know until very i i didn't know i had an english accent right i don't think i knew until with this interview like yeah but even like i knew it coming into it and then still when you opened your mouth in here i was like oh that's right why is he doing that british accent yeah yeah i was gonna drop that um yeah it's been an austin butler thing yeah oh i don't know i don't know his elvis accent apparently is amazing but he didn't stop he's at award shows and in his regular life still talking like oh which is not a bad move i don't know whatever i didn't know that He's at award shows and in his regular life, still talking like, which is not a bad move.

I don't know. I didn't know that. But yeah, it's funny. Like, uh, growing up, you know,

we, we watch and, and I don't want to say consume because it makes it such like the death of art, but like we, we do see and listen to so much kind of American media. So we're kind of exposed to the accent from like a young age. And you know, like everyone a young age and you know

like everyone grows up watching you know the simpsons and like the fresh prince and these shows and we we hear the accent and so everyone is kind of in the habit of i guess like doing impressions and quoting things in america yeah yeah from like as brits we almost get like a bit of a head start on it you know i mean it's almost unfair yeah some ways. Cause then I think people are particularly harsh on American actors when they try and do British accents. It's like, well, it's harder to do.

And also I think sometimes the British accent is represented in a kind of quite a binary way where it's like, hello governor. There's no nuance. Yeah. Or it's like, we're too posh to function. Yes.

Yeah. There's like nothing kind of in between. And you know, it's, it's like we're too posh to function yes yeah yeah there's like nothing kind of in between and you know it's a small country but with a huge range of accents in different regions and so you know you hear all kinds of do you where do you live now i live in london yeah so you have you ever lived over here no i've never lived over here i mean i i shoot things for long periods of time so like you know for guardians i was i was basically in atlanta for about six months, you know,

and bouncing around different parts of the States, but predominantly in Atlanta. And then, you know, then I was kind of back in London for a while. Why Atlanta? That's where Marvel studios are. Oh,

really? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'll do it. I would have a thousand percent guessed it was LA. I surely would have guessed LA.

That's where Marvel does the movies. Yeah. Yeah. No, no, but that's, that's fair. And they've got guessed LA. That's where Marvel does the movies. Yeah, yeah. Okie dokie. That's fair. And they've got great, great crews out there in New Georgian. I loved Atlanta. It's one of my favorite places.

I really enjoyed it. Was We Are the Millers like your breakout? Would you call it that? Yeah. At least it was my first movie that I shot in America. Yeah. Yeah. So I'd done two films before that and was kind of still at school and

i was sort of one of my first things out of school really that's got to be a weird so you were probably what like 19 i think yeah 19 years old it's like it's just funny having some of your like goofier younger years and like right on and that and that was the role right so you're like being extra goofy as like this yeah teenage son in the movie um it was funny when we were discussing the costume for that they were like you know like kenny's kind of goofy and this and the other like you've got any ideas for the costume i was like well here's a picture of me at school how about my everyday i was like yeah exactly let me just throw some stripes on this t-shirt i've already got the cas. I've already got the Casio. I've already got the Jan Sport backpack.

Those dad shoes, I'm ahead of the game there. So, you know, it was kind of a, yeah, it all became pretty straightforward. Was that like, I mean, you must have felt like the man after that, though. No, you go back to your friends and you're like, yeah, me and Jen were on set. No big deal. I, you know, like, I mean, I grew up watching, you know, Jen in Friends. I was a huge Friends fan. You know, I loved SNL.

I was very familiar with who Jason was, you know, so to work with him was so cool. And Rawson had directed Dodgeball, which I'd loved. So like, I was just stoked to be on it. And then I kind of went to college right after shooting Weirdo Millers. I think the timeline, I mean, it doesn't help that I'm dyslexic and I'm a college dropout. That's roughly it. So you pretended, you were like, I got to go to college even though

I know. Well, here's the thing. At that stage, I genuinely didn't like, I didn't know Weirdo Millers was going to come out and like, you know, I might have totally flopped. And out and like you know i i it might have totally flopped and then like you know so i i went and and at least attempted to get a degree and then and then quite honestly i got offered a role in a job and i did like the cost benefit analysis like tuition fees were expensive our government lied to us about raising tuition fees that happens um and uh And so then I was like, this is costing me a lot of money to be in college

and I've got an offer to do this job. Went and did that and glad that I made that decision. Was We Are The Millers a commercial success? I know it's become kind of a cult classic and you always watch it when it's on TNT and reruns and stuff like that. But I don't know, when it first came out, was it like smash hit?

I don't know. I think it's weird to like, I don't want to be the one to say that. It sounds hit? I don't know. I think it's weird to like, I don't want to be the one to say that. It sounds like, I don't want to sound like an asshole, frankly, but I think it was quite a big success. This guy's like,

bro, it did $200 million. You idiot. I think it did. A lot of people saw it. I don't want to say, but yeah, I was a fucking monster, dude.

You uninformed, uneducated idiot. Now that I'm thinking, though, that scene with Jennifer Aniston alone probably put a lot of buzz in the fucking scene. Man, that scene where you're supposed to give the guy the blowjob to get over the border or whatever it is,

is so goddamn funny. That's some it is. It's so goddamn funny. There's some wild stuff in that. It's so goddamn funny. Looking back. It was fun as well because it was a comedy, you know, and Rawson was so kind of so comfortable and au fait with all of that stuff. Like he would, some of the funniest stuff would just be like thrown out from behind the monitor and Sudeikis being on SNL. Sure, he was was improvised yeah yeah jen is like i mean such a gifted comedian that there was just a lot of like fun had katherine hans in it nick yeah yeah you know like bomb squad yeah it really is of just really gifted

improvisationalists as well so to be around that was was cool yeah and so now guardians you're gonna be doing uh we gotta wrap it up yeah okay okay well so guardians is you know gonna be an absolute you think that one's gonna be a commercial i don't know i don't know my family have all bought tickets i got the beatboxers showing up all the showings tonight that should drive sales no listen i you know i more importantly genuinely is like that you know people really really like it. And obviously, when it's got a pre-existing fan base, it's an emotional ride, that's for sure.

There is some Sid from Toy Story to it, where I got quite freaked out during some of the scenes. Oh, right, because some of the toys kind of come alive. The spider rabbit. It's like, oh, oh god what the hell it's it's one of the most you know popular ever so to be part of the end is going to be pretty cool i feel very lucky man yeah yeah absolutely and they're all such a great bunch as well like that that really mattered as well that you know you could feel that i think i think there was some opinion some feeling with some of the more recent Marvel movies where they kind of

lost the essence of like, almost I'm a big fast and furious guy. We're like, sometimes they lost the family in a few. And then I could feel it again in guardians. I was like, Oh yeah, yeah,

yeah. This is like the fun. Everyone's together kind of deal. I very, very, I very much enjoyed guardians. Yeah. Congrats,

man. Congrats on all the success. Before we let you go, we have a new thing on the show that we've been doing. You're our first guest. Literally, you're our first guest ever. We're putting you on the spot. Oh, my gosh.

You got a fun fact? A fun fact. I feel like everyone's got a fun fact to keep in the chamber. A fun fact about anything. Just a fun fact. We learned yesterday, it was a voicemail caller called in, and they said that William the Conqueror,

when he was laying in state, exploded on his funeral goers. His body got all gashy. Because they didn't embalm people. No, it was a fun fight. Not for them. Another example we'll give you. I'll pull it out of nowhere. Back in the day when pirates used to eat food.

Oh, no. When pirates used to eat off a big knife point glass. Right? Yeah. They used to blow their candles out below deck so they wouldn't see the maggots on their food. Holy smokes. So now I can only eat in rooms lit like this. That's something.

And that's been since I was a child. I've been like that because of that one. Holy moly. Okay. This one isn't really fun. No, it's fine. Just give us a little fact. I'm feeling like there's some leniency around the rules.

Yeah. The term cats and dogs. Do you know like when it's raining cats and dogs? Do you have that expression over here? Before I totally alienate an entire nation. And it doesn't. Yes, we have it. And it does not make any sense.

Okay. So basically, back in the day, and we're trying not to put you to sleep here, but like post like industrial revolution whatnot um or sorry i should say pre that uh when basically pets weren't just solely kind of like for domestic purposes they had to like work you know like the farms and they had to like help out with the animals and livestock and whatnot um cats and dogs would sit up in the like rafters of the barn where it was like warmest and away from like the like larger livestock whatever and they had like thatched roofs right and then when it rained the cats and the dogs would get soaked and would like fall down and so that's the expression raining cats and dogs

they were yeah that's a that's exactly what we're looking for the kind of fun you're looking for so much fun you're welcome anytime when they plummeted would it be to their death no there would be no death or combustion it would just be yeah yeah that would be a little more fun but okay that could not have kicked off fun facts you're so welcome thank you very much let's eat this whole goddamn pie yeah get into it get into it. Get into it. Thanks a lot, guys. សូវាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប� Thank you. Bye.